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stellarsagittarius · 1 year
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How would you meet your future husband / wife - Based on Jupiter/Venus Persona Chart Pt. 1
[P.s. Please follow me on Instagram and Tiktok @/Stellar_Sagittarius I post even more astrology content on it and it's a business I'm trying to grow. Your presence means a lot to me ❤️.]
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(If you are looking for a man, check your Jupiter Persona Chart. If you are looking for a woman, check your Venus Persona Chart)
(Disclaimer: Don't be fixed on this reading! Always have an open mind because the Universe works the best when you have trusted and let go of expectations! Also, the chart won't tell you the exact place or time or how you would feel about something, no one can do that. What it WILL tell is the theme that can be the most prevalent during that event, and how the event can play out.)
Step 1 - Go to Astro.com -> Horoscopes drawing and data -> Extended chart selection -> Select chart type 'Persona Chart' -> Click on 'Additional Objects -> Manual entry '1585'.
Asteroid 1585 is the Union asteroid. It can show how you can "meet" or "come together" with someone.
Fun fact: I checked this Union asteroid in my composite charts with my friends, siblings, my mobile phone, colleagues, and everything fit so well like puzzle peices.
What we will look in the Jupiter/Venus Persona Chart is the Union asteroid, it's sign, house, and the placement of the ruler of it's sign.
For example, in the composite chart of my phone and I, Union is in the 7th house of Aries, and the ruler of Aries (Mars) is in the 6th house of Pisces. When I went to buy my current phone it was an impulse decision, I was with my father. We were returning from my college (he picks me up everyday, so it's our little routine (6th house)). We were driving (Mars theme) and I was with someone (7th house). He said, "Why not let's go and get you the new phone?" Very unusual of my father because he is very slow and thoughtful person. And just then we went to buy it. It was an impulse buy.
And this is just one of the many examples.
Let's get into reading the Union Asteroid in your Jupiter/Venus Persona Chart.
Union Asteroid Through The Houses
Union in the 1st House -
The first house is all about "yourself". So think of you initiating something. Perhaps you approach this person, or you are the one who initiates the conversation. You could be the center of attention, or you catch the attention of your partner, whether it's your looks or personality. "You" are the focus. This is related to a place where you would stand out or play an important role with your mindset/ideas. They could even approach you, simply because they are interested in getting to know you. If Union asteroid in your chart has a 11th or 3rd or 9th house connection, then they could come across your "profile" on social media.
Union in the 2nd house -
The second house rules our values, possessions, beliefs, our body language, resources, personal finances, etc. There are plenty of situations related to this, going for shopping, while making a purchase, at a restaurant, taking part in some workshop to improve your skills etc. This is a situation where you are focused on your resources, and your skills. This could also be at a bank or shopping centers. Maybe this person changes your beliefs in your first meeting, or perhaps you meet them because you saw their car, and you absolutely loved it so you wanted to ask what model it was. You could have made some changes to your body when you met them.
Union in the 3rd house -
3rd house rules communication, locality, processing information, short distances, siblings, it rules personal communication and also the "media" part of social media. So you could first come across them on social media, like seeing them for the first time. You can meet through siblings or in your local areas. You can meet in high school as well. Some places are news stations, broadcasting companies, daily newspaper/magazine supplier, a bookstore, stationery, elementary school, through blogging or vlogging, through writing. Perhaps they write you letters or leave you notes. Or since you met them, you both talk nonstop/sharing information 24/7.
Union in the 4th house -
Our 4th house is all about home, privacy, security, comfort, our deeper emotions, family, the part of ourselves that we don't show to just anyone, could also depict the people very close to us. So think of meeting this person "through the comfort of your home", good for introverts! This is giving social media, because you don't have to go out somewhere. They just slide into your DMs or your slide into theirs ;) . Internet is a good example because we can use it at our comfort. We can do so much by just being at our home through the internet. Other examples is meeting through your family, perhaps your mom introduces you to them. Or maybe they are a delivery person, an electrician or a service worker who comes to your house to like fix the AC or something! This meeting would feel very cozy. Perhaps getting to talk with each other takes some time!
I have this in the composite chart with one of my best friends. Union in Aries 4th House. She is extremely introverted and shy. We met through the internet, she just randomly slide in my DMs. I was at home chilling in my PJs, and received her message. She had this "other account" through which she messaged me, due to her "privacy reasons". But she just overcame her overthinking and made the first move (Aries energy). Lol I still wonder how brave of her was to text me, she is super introverted! Oh, and also, the ruler of our 4th house is Mars, in 12th house. So the account that she texted me on, was an account that didn't have my real name or picture, it was a little self care niche account. Plus her own pfp was of only her eyes. So kinda sus energy lol with the 12th house.
Union in the 5th house -
Fifth house is all about creativity, pleasure, joy, having fun doing this or that, sex, hobbies, children etc. Places associated with the 5th house are amusement parks, art schools, cinemas, theme parks, movie sets, waterparks, nightclubs as well, etc. Think of pursuing a hobby or doing something solely for the pleasure it brings you, you could meet this person through that. This is also giving collaboration, for a creative project. Shared interests and hobbies! It could also start off as a one night stand or perhaps you both are very flirty with each other from the start. Every couple flirts ofc, but yours is emphasised! So think of teasing or being very playful with each other! Could indicate meeting through children! Perhaps you met at a kindergarten, aww!
Union in the 6th house -
6th house is ✨️That Girl✨️ house. It rules, routines, organization, health, fitness, pets, work ethic, the physical self care, the material realm, getting your life in order, etc. Think of going to run errands or going to the gym and bumping into this person. Perhaps you are out taking your dog for a walk, or going for a run, and you meet this person. This house rules all the mundane, daily life stuff. Perhaps they ask you for the directions when you meet them. This also rules parking lots, roads, vehicles, hospitals, daycare, salon, the vet. This is very routined. Perhaps this is someone you see everyday while going to work, but never got the chance to say hi.
Union in the 7th house -
The 7th house is all about others. It is more one on one, than a group. So think, when you meet them, the focus will completely be on getting to know the other person. Like completely immersed in the conversation, totally focused on each other's company. Someone else can introduce you both. This is like the definition of "meeting". You met, and now you both are genuinely interested in each other. The places could be anywhere you would directly approach them, instead of seeing them here and there or having something else as a focus. Dating apps is a good example, but only if your focus is on them, rather than other people on it.
This is in the composite chart of my bestie and I. I was talking to a friend, and my bestie just approached me. And we got to know each other just like that. It was in high school, about 5 years ago. We just became friends right away!
Union in the 8th house -
8th house is about what you share with someone else, transformation, secrets, bonds, joint resources, marriage, sex (as in bonding with someone, and not necessarily pleasure), other people's stuff, etc. The places associated with the 8th house could be banks, someone else's house, private clubs/bars, private offices, VIP lounges, etc. Someone else could play a part in this meeting or you can meet through some sort of joint collaboration. This is also giving, "Oh you left your diary at that coffee table a week ago, I had to give it back to you!" Somebody or something will help you come together. You could also bond with each other pretty quickly! Wingwoman/wingman energy!
Union in the 9th house -
9th house represents travel, long distances, foreign, higher education, other cultures, languages, adventure, universities, philosophy, spirituality & religion (the philosophical/moral/practical aspect of it), etc. So meeting your s/o through travel or while you are exploring something. Perhaps while you are in college/university. Meeting them through religion or shared spiritual interests. Perhaps a course where you are learning about other cultures or languages. Classic travel meeting. Could meet on an airplane or a long distance train. The relationship itself could start out as long distance. If this has 4th house or Gemini/Cancer connections, then meeting online/at your comfort, but being long distance!
Union in the 10th house -
10th house rules our public image, our career, the part of ourselves that shines the most. It rules buildings, workplaces, companies, public parks or public places. This could also represent our public profiles online, such as for work or businesses. So yes, meeting through your work is significant. Could be a business meeting at first. If there are relations to 5th and 8th houses then it could be to collab on something creative! You could meet through your boss. And keeping the work aspect aside, if you are someone with a public profile online just because you want it so, it's also a 10th house thing. An aspect of your public image will be highlighted! Your work and career will be significant.
Union in the 11th house -
This is the classic friends to lovers placement, no matter how slow or fast it is. 11th house rules communities, friendships, social groups, hope and ideals, long term plans/visions, "social" part of social media, being an influencer or having an audience, networking, building your career, etc. This is a very social house and this meeting will have a focus on networking, becoming friends etc. Perhaps this is a meeting through friends, or meeting at a networking party. They could see you online or be intrigued at the work you do. Perhaps they want to work with you.
Union in the 12th house -
Twelfth house is the house of unconscious, mysteries, theories, conspiracies, hidden, mystical, fantasies, imagination etc. Everything to do with the mind, and not the things that are practical or "material" enough. This is the spiritual realm, the realm of unseen. This also rules isolation, mental health, heavy contemplative states. It rules prisons or hospitals (in a way that you are isolated). Meditation retreats are ruled by 12th house as well. Places that are far away and where we take the journey alone. So yes, meeting when you are alone, or even an account messaging you where the owner is hidden (not saying talk to strangers, but you get my point). This meeting could start out as a secret or won't be apparent to other people. You both could meet at a place where you both are alone, etc. You both could connect over the matters of spirituality and mysticism.
This is it!
You can book a reading with me, text me, I'll respond. I just made this blog so I'm yet to create an official post regarding booking readings!
Stay tuned for the next part!! ✈️✨️
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Unpacking in the Infirmary
Fem!Reader
Summary: Restock day in the Infirmary has always been important for those who live in the Fortress. Especially with it being that place to go if something were to happen to an inmate or one of the staff members. With the amount of times Wriothesley has gotten hurt over the years, it's not surprising he ended up in there on one of those restock days. Though he didn't think he would also help with unpacking things as well.
Words: 3,038
AN: Once again I wrote a majority of this on my phone. I honestly can't believe how much I've written on my phone this year already. Hopefully, this doesn't become a major habit. Thank you @milkstore for reading over the fic. You caught so many mistakes due to my phone thinking capitalizing mid-sentence is a normal thing to do.
Warnings: Blood, Minor Injuries, Cleaning a wound. I personally wouldn't consider it too detailed but if you find any of that uncomfortable please go check out one of my other Wriothesley fics.
“You two should go take your lunch break already. I ate a late breakfast.” Y/N lifted a box of supplies from the surface and placed it on the table. Restock days had become important for her to be there for. It was easier to have someone who was not a Melusine to do any heavy lifting.
“You look tired. Are you sure you don't want to take a break now?” Sigewinne asked. Although her ask was more of telling her to take a break.
“I'll take a break when you or Ottnit get back. I promise.” She reassured Sigewinne. “Plus if we time breaks right we can get this done fast.”
Ottnit looked at Y/N before looking at Sigewinne. “She has a date.” She guessed.
Y/N rolled her eyes hiding a small smile. “Three days from now.” She answered before giving the real reason. “I promised I'd help my mother move her art studio into her new house after work.”
“It's more reason to take a break. You could have requested someone to take your place today.” Sigewinne reasoned.
“I know but I wouldn't have been able to give you those stickers for another week. It's been pretty peaceful down here lately. Let me have work as an excuse to see you two.” Y/N looked back to the box and grabbed a boxcutter to rid it of tape. “Just go enjoy lunch. You're just delaying how long till I take a break.”
Sigewinne accepted fate not wanting to argue it creating more of the delay. She and Ottnit left the infirmary for lunch. The room was left quiet while Y/N took inventory on the restock.
All the things that needed to be under a lock had been put away already. Next would be anything they kept out in the infirmary that should be easy to grab. Lastly, restocking the various first aid kits that were around the Fortress. Any mobile ones had been brought in already in the morning. The large stationary ones would be the last thing for today or one of the first things in the morning.
It was mindless work to her at this point. Open the box, check the inventory slip in the box, count to see if the amount matches, and mark off on the checkbox of what was requested if it matches. And if it didn’t, make a note. It was always easy to fall into the rhythm of this work.
Though a bit annoying that the monthly restock day had to line up with her mother's art studio move. There really wasn’t much she could do about it since she wanted to be there for both. Say she did request someone else to go down to the fortress instead of her. Y/N could imagine her coworkers on the surface asking if something was wrong with her and Wriothesley’s relationship. And as funny as it was to watch some of the older ladies try and make threats about if he dared hurt her, there really was no reason to rile them up with nothing.
Y/N finished up the box she had been working with. It was just bandages of different sizes. Luckily everything was all in there. She picked the box back up off the table and placed it within the pile of boxes that had already been checked. She picked up a new box, beginning to repeat the process all over again.
She lost count on the box filled with sterilized gloves when she heard the all-so-familiar knock at the wall. It was a firm but gentle knock that echoed throughout the infirmary.
“Hey.” Wriothesley introduced himself as he made his way down into the room. “By any chance is the hydrogen peroxide already out?”
“The current bottle doesn't have a lot in it but it is out. What happened?” Y/N turned away from the box and moved to get out what he asked for along with some cotton balls and bandages, opting for what was already out in the infirmary.
“There was a fight that broke out and I went to break it up. One guy was upset I was breaking up the fight, so he tried taking a knife out on me. I broke a knife. Now the guards got an eye on the two of them.” Wriothesley explained. He was peeling off the blood-soaked wraps that were around his right hand.
Y/N blinked. “You can't say you broke a knife so casually.” It was moments like that where she knew she still wasn't fully used to his behavior. It didn't matter how long she had known him before they began dating, it wasn't normal to hear anyone say they broke a knife in a fight. She moved into washing her hands.
“No, ‘Are you okay’?” He threw the wraps away in a bin that was meant for Anything that came in contact with any sort of bodily fluids. Also known as the bloody cotton and bandages bin to most of the Fortress. All because they were however many miles under the ocean didn't mean they got to skip important procedures to help keep things safe.
Y/N rolled her eyes. “Oh, I'm sorry.” She spoke sarcastically as she dried off her hands. “Your Grace, does your wound cause you great pain? Whatever will I do now that you are gravely injured?”
“Gravely! Shit. It's just some cuts on my palm. Where did you get ‘gravely’ from? It won't kill me.”
“Oh, so you can handle it yourself.” She teased as she pulled gloves on getting ready so she could examine the wound.
“Some nurse you are. I thought going to the infirmary was supposed to be welcoming.”
“That's what you get for asking a pharmacist to be a nurse. I'm nowhere near as welcoming.” She joked. “Go sit on the bed.” She moved fast grabbing a clean pair of tweezers.
“Already sitting down Miss.” He spoke in a smug tone she was all too familiar with.
“If you can recognize that you should already be sitting down I would hope you should recognize that you should be more careful.” She turned around and moved towards Wriothesley. Y/N grabbed his wounded hand. She began picking out any small shards of the knife that had gotten stuck within. Luckily not too many. None were deep within the palm as well.
“I can only try to be more careful so much. If you think about it, I helped you not have to deal with an inmate who had a stab wound on restock day. While everyone but you is out for lunch.” Wriothesley reasoned. He looked at the wound already wondering if the count of scars on his body was about to go up.
“I'll give you that.” Y/N finished up with the first part of cleaning up the wound. She had thrown any remnants of the knife in the trash. “You know you are very lucky that Sigewinne wasn’t here to fuss over you. If I had to listen to her ‘I helped raise you, the least you could do is be careful’ lectures while trying to count and move things around, I might go insane.” Wriothesley rolled his eyes as he laughed. “Yeah.” He drew out the word with a bit of tiredness. “I guess I should thank you for not telling her.”
Y/N raised her eyebrow as she began to dab the hydrogen peroxide onto some cotton balls. “I never said I wasn't going to tell her. If I remember right, which I know I'm remembering right, I still have to write this up in your medical file. No exception for staff. Even if you are the Warden, she’s going to find out regardless.”
“Shit.” It was half a response from the hydrogen peroxide touching the new wound and half from what Y/N had said. He thought he was more used to the sting of his wounds being cleaned by now. “Can’t you just let this slide?”
“You created more work for me on restock day and think I’m gonna let this slide. After I’m done with this I get to go move a whole art studio.”
“Don’t I get special privileges?”
“Everyone with a title is gonna get the same treatment from me. You forget that?” The blood had been cleaned off his hand. And with the wound clean she could begin focusing on wrapping up the wound on his palm.
“I was going for boyfriend privileges.” Wriothesley continued to try and wiggle his way out of Sigewinne learning what happened.
“I am on the clock and not on break so no special treatment. You lost special treatment the moment you walked into the infirmary. If it's serious enough to seek medical care, it's serious enough to be written in your medical file.” 
“Usually I'm very glad that you take your job seriously.”
“Cause it's my job and it would be inappropriate to change procedures just because the patient is you.” Y/N finished wrapping up his palm leaving him plenty of room to move his hand around but keeping the bandages tight enough to stay on throughout the day. “Change the bandages 3 hours from now. You can either do it yourself or have Sigewinne do it for you.”
Wriothesley moved his fingers around testing how much movement he would have. “Thanks, doll. You sure I can't get you to change it instead?”
“I just said I have to go move an art studio later.” She began putting away anything unused that was okay to keep before throwing everything else out. “Or were you not paying attention to what I was saying?”
“I was. You know I could go and help you if you want.” Wriothesley offered. 
Y/N looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “Art Studio. As in my mother's art studio.”
“Yeah. You managed to get a photo out of me and you've been saying that your mother wants to meet me. Every time you’ve tried to set up, something has always come up and if I go with you, then you won’t have to worry if I’m using my right hand or not.” He reasoned. It may have also been a bit of quick thinking to avoid disappointing Sigewinne over that he got hurt again. Two birds with one stone kind of thinking.
“But I was thinking like a dinner so we could all get to talk.” She threw out her gloves before moving to sit on the bed on Wriothesley’s left side. “How are we supposed to talk if we are just packing and moving boxes Ri?”
“I’ll just have to take you two out to eat after.” He offered. “I’m already going to be tired after this and I’m just going to be exhausted after helping her move. I’m not going to want to sit down somewhere for dinner.” Y/N argued.
“I could help, go pick up some food for everyone so you don’t have to sit at a restaurant.” He put his arm around Y/N pulling her closer and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Plus it’s my non-dominant hand that’s hurt so I can still help you.” 
“What if I’m so tired I don’t even want to talk while we eat?”
“I’ll just carry you to your apartment afterward if you are so tired. Quit worrying your pretty little head over it. You need the brain power for more important things.”
It was a well-needed reminder for her. Sometimes it was just too easy to get caught up in worry. “You must really like me a lot if you are willing to carry me like a sack of potatoes.”
Wriothesley laughed. “I was thinking more like a piggyback ride but if you want to be carried like a sack of potatoes, I can. We really should talk about how you not so secretly want me to manhandle you.” He teased.
Y/N rolled her eyes. “I have work.” 
“I’ll get you after your shift then. We can go up together.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips before standing up from the bed. “You can't go on about how much you want your mother to like me and when the perfect opportunity for a good impression comes up, try and stop me from meeting her.”
“But what if it ends up not being perfect?” She looked up at him. “I really care about you. I want my mother to like you. I want my family to like you.”
“Which is why I’m offering to help with a move. Even then if you keep planning for perfection, nothing will get done. You know that.”
“I know not everything can be perfect. I’ve made my peace with that. But I want this to be perfect.” She stood up looking at him. “I want something good for you outside of here as well.” 
“Don’t worry about things like that. Life is good for me now.” He sighed. “It’s not like anything is forcing me to be here all the time. I know there’s good outside. What's bothering you?”
She sighed. “You remember when I said I was volunteering as the person to come down here to help was just to try something new right?” Y/N started as she began to give the real reason.
“Yeah. It's kind of what we encourage here.”
“Well, I got out of a really bad breakup. And my family was just telling me that person wasn't good.”
“You never told me how bad.” He did remember a mention that she got out of a relationship around two and a half years ago when they first met. She never said much about it and who was he to press her about it back then? 
“I was engaged. I almost signed a lease on a new house with them when everything went down. I just feel like I got blindsided by the show they were putting on. If I listened to my family then everything would have been better for me.” She took a deep breath. “So if they like you, nothing like that will happen to me again.”
“And here I was thinking you were just worrying to worry.” Wriothesley shook his head at himself. “Look, I can't control how people are going to view me. And you can't control if your mother will like me or not.”
“I know that. I just want this to be good. I mean I wanted her to like you even before we started dating. You kind of started to become important in my life.” Y/N looked away from him. “Like I think even after I got that breakup, you were definitely part of the reason I stayed.”
“It's going to be okay. It may not be some storybook picture of perfection but it's going to be better if you try and focus on the good.” He placed his left on her shoulder trying to ground her back to reality. “What did you say a few weeks ago? I think you said she would steal a single mora to get thrown in here if she didn't get the chance to meet me at this rate.”
Y/N laughed. “Yeah. I had to tell her that's a horrible idea.”
“It's going to be okay.”
She nodded as she spoke. “Okay.” She looked into his eyes falling into the comforting gaze that looked back at her.
“I'll get you after your shift. I still have to fill out paperwork cause of that fight.” Wriothesley kissed her forehead. “I know it's easier said than done, but try not to overthink it.”
“And if I do?”
“Then we will have to find a way to stop you from thinking about that specifically.”
“It better not be by giving me work. Cause I'm going to be so tired tonight.” She looked at him, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m not cruel. I was thinking of making sure you aren’t alone so you don't fall back into your worries. At least so someone can pull you back out if you do.”
“Well, Sigewinne and Ottnit should be back soon. So I won’t be alone for too long.”
“You ate lunch already?” Wriothesley asked.
Y/N looked away again. “I ate a late breakfast so I was going to eat lunch once they got back.”
“In here?” He asked concerned. “What happened to only eating in here when there is only one person available?”
“I was actually going to go out to the cafeteria. I didn't bring anything down for lunch today.” It was a break from her normal habit, mostly because she forgot to grab her lunch before leaving her apartment in the city. The sandwich that she made that now sat in her kitchen would be dearly missed.
Wriothesley sighed. “Guess I'll have to take the important job of keeping you company during lunch.” 
“Don't you also have work?” She raised an eyebrow at him.
“For one, I’m in charge of this place. And two, I still have to eat lunch myself. Also, I think the Fortress can handle itself while I take care of you. I think people know well enough to only disturb me when I'm with you if it's important.” It was something that he noticed was happening long before the two of them got together. It was already common for people would keep their distance due to their various reasons. It must have been learned to give the two space after people had noticed that Wriothesley’s mood would sour when he had to leave for something that didn’t even require his attention.
“Makes me wonder what your definition of important is now.”
“At the moment, it's keeping you out of your worry spiral. Generally a mix of other things, but the only thing taking me away from you is if something requires my attention to be handled. You are at the top of the list at the moment.” Oh, she just wanted to be in his arms after that. 
“The top of the list?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
“Are these girlfriend privileges?”
Wriothesley laughed remembering what he said not so long ago. “You can call it that if you want. I would have done this for you regardless though.”
Y/N gave in, finally hugging him. Maybe things would be okay.
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queenimmadolla · 1 year
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could we have something with wayne? i love wayne 🥺 was he upset when reader first got pregnant? worried about how eddie would cope and the consequences of having a baby so young? or was he buying onesies and telling everyone in the trailer park he was gunna be a grandpa?
this was an absolute delight to write. the penny verse is an extension of another series I have (Call You Mine) and Wayne is heavily involved in later chapters. this contains a ton of spoilers for it but i don’t care all that much because I love Wayne too and I really like his relationship with reader and what I have going for his backstory with Eddie. hope you enjoy it!
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𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬
(Father-in-law!Wayne Munson and Daughter-in-law!Reader bonding)
warnings: mentions of pregnancy and drugs (reader does not use)
a/n: reader is 19, eddie is 20 and both are married to each other. daisy edgar jones is NOT reader, she is how i imagine Eddie’s mom to look so she’s used for the aesthetic. happy reading and let me know how you like it! as always, reblogs and comments (not jerk ones) are appreciated and mistakes will be fixed later!
more of the pennyverse here
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It’s late, the sun is dipping below the earth visible to your eye, the trailer park lit only by the porch lights attached to a few of the mobile homes and light slipping through window blinds, drapes and curtains.
You’re standing in front of the window next to the front door, fingers separating the blinds and fingertips pressed against the cold glass. It’s warm in the trailer, compared to outside and courtesy of the space heater that goes above and beyond in heating your humble home.
The musical sound of Eddie, singing something of Whitesnake’s in the shower can be faintly heard but you aren’t paying him any attention. Your only focus is on the tan trailer four down from Maxine’s; spread out and relaxed in one of the lawn chairs under its awning is the Munson you’re most concerned about, at the moment.
It had been almost an entire month since you’d last spoken to him, something you hadn’t been aware of until you had purposely started to avoid him. 
Your relationship with Wayne Munson was anything but complicated. Well, until recently. When you’d first met him, not only did you discover he was about as wise as he looked and not nearly as scary as you imagined him to be (reminded you a lot of Eddie, actually), but you also realized he cared for Eddie, deeply. Enough to sit you down and tell you all about how he knew of Eddie’s deep affections for you before telling you all about his relationship with Penny—Eddie’s mother—and how he hoped you two would have a much happier ending. He’d asked you to take care of Eddie then, too. If you wanted to be with him, that was. And you did, so you agreed. 
Then you’d broken up with Eddie. You’d been heartbroken the entire time and positive you’d disappointed Wayne. Only, when you made your way to the trailer to fix what you’d destroyed, you had encountered Wayne again and expected to be turned away. Instead, he told you he knew you wouldn’t break your promise to him and welcomed you back.
The thing is, while you were sure he really believed you wouldn’t break your promise to take care of Eddie, you were also sure there had to have been a moment during your break up in which Wayne Munson regretted ever trusting you with his nephew’s heart, especially since that nephew was more his son than anything. 
Now, you were disappointing him again. It didn’t have anything to do with leaving Eddie, far from. If anything, you were now permanently bound to Eddie, in some way. You’re pregnant, as in you have his baby growing inside of you. 
It had come as a shock to you because you had no inkling that you were pregnant up until a couple of weeks ago (like two) and just as you were beginning to actually enjoy and soak in the fact that you and Eddie were going to be parents (you were gonna be someone’s mom! How fucking weird!), Eddie burst your bubble, informing you he’d seen Wayne recently and mentioned it to him. 
You love Eddie. Want to spend the rest of your life with him doing stupid shit like marrying him right after your graduation ceremony and having a baby at the apparently irresponsible ages of 19 and 20, but you wanted to strangle him right then. Not just because he’d told Wayne, but also because he’d done so like he was some random person from his past who asked him how he was doing and he’d casually mentioned that he and his young wife were expecting. Wayne deserved better than that.
Which is why, after days of cowering and avoiding him (it wasn’t all that difficult, Wayne spent about 98% of his time at his girlfriend’s home—the trailer you were staring at—so you hadn’t seen him often to begin with since that romance had developed) you’re determined to talk to him. Just need a couple more minutes to work up the courage.
You aren’t stupid. Well, you are, but not that stupid. You know what most “adults” (you’re an adult, too, but you’re talking about the old ass folks) thought about you. How dumb they assume you are for marrying young and Eddie, no less (they could suck your dick, he’s a fantastic husband), and now that you’re pregnant—and not even showing all that much—you know they’d think they were right. Like having a baby with the man you loved was some giant fucking punishment. Clearly, they need to rethink who they are married to if it was such a concern for them or mind their own business.
But Wayne…god, you had no idea what to expect from him. He was one of the few people in this town whose opinion you actually respected and valued. He’d wanted you and Eddie to wait a little but still gave him his blessing to marry you because he knew nothing would stop you. Your parents had been about the same, but that’s a different, messy story. Marriage was one thing, having a baby is much larger than that.
You’d been avoiding Wayne out of fear of hearing him voice what you knew was slowly making its way around Hawkins: you’re making a mistake. 
You’d be disappointing Wayne. Again.
Still, you can’t avoid him forever.
You see the man in question rattle the beer can in his hand, something you’d seen him do plenty of times on the couch outside of this trailer before he’d take the lack of liquid in it as a sign to get up, joints creaking, and make his way inside for the night.
You hurriedly slip on your coat and crash through the front door. It’s much colder than you anticipated but you ignore it and soldier on, making your way down the road.
You stare at your shoes as you sit in the empty lawn chair next to his, the cold of it numbing your butt on contact.
You know he’s not looking at you, probably still admiring the colors of the sky and taking everything in like he always is.
He breaks the silence first.
“Bit cold out for you, ain’t it?”
You wet your lips, hands curled in the warm pockets of your coat. 
“It’s not so bad. I prefer cold weather over the heat.”
He hums, low and always all-knowing. You know that he knows why you’re here. Just like Eddie, he’s patient with you; letting you come to him, letting you tell him when you’re ready. You think maybe Eddie picked up that particular character trait from how Wayne interacted with him. 
“I wanted─” You start and don’t finish. Another moment passes before you try again.
“I didn’t─”
Fuck! Why was this so hard? You hadn’t realized how badly you wanted to make him proud of you, after everything you’d put Eddie through (who probably put Wayne through a lot, as a result), you wanted to make up for it by being good to his boy and what was supposed to be a happy thing was beginning to feel like you trapping him. You knew that wasn’t the case, Eddie wanted the little being growing inside of you just as much as you did. 
Trying to explain that to someone so much older was challenging. Trying to explain it to someone older and someone you didn’t want to ever look down on you, was practically impossible. You probably appear young and dumb. 
You figure, maybe it’s time to succumb to defeat, shoulders sagging.
“You can say it.”
It’s a whisper but Wayne hears it, finally turning his head to take you in. You still can’t meet his eyes, don’t want him to see how sad yours are.
“Say what?”
“That I’m stupid. I’m ruining my life, settling. Trapping him. Screwing him over,” you don’t even notice you’re doing it, your hand moves to rest on your stomach, as if to protect your baby from the accusation you’re about to throw out. “I’m making a mistake.”
Wayne doesn’t say anything at first, just hums again. It’s not one of agreement. His thumb runs over the aluminum of the beer can in his grasp.
“You think that?”
You brave a glance at him, willing yourself to not cower under his gaze. Wayne Munson’s stare can have any sinner confessing, just from the sheer intimidation in it. 
You can’t find your tongue all of a sudden, feeling like a child. You just shake your head, timid.
“Then why would I think that?”
“Uhm, because. Uh, because it’s what everyone thinks. It’s what they thought when we got married in June, too.”
Wayne chuckles, shaking his head fondly.
“Didn’t seem to stop you from going through with it.”
It hadn’t. Before you even got to the courthouse, word had spread and one of the cheer moms who worked there had tried to offer you some unsolicited advice: don’t do it.
You did it.
“There ain’t nothing ‘bout you two that’s been conventional. Always got me rubbing my scalp.”
You giggle, biting your lip to try to stop yourself but you know Wayne meant to make you laugh, tried to ease you with humor he rarely expressed. For some reason, the jokes about him balding greatly amused you.
“Are you mad? That I’m pregnant?”
“No,” he shakes his head, gruffly clearing his throat. Doesn’t do much, his voice is always raspy. “Takes two to get in a spot like that. I didn’t see it coming, that’s for sure. But like I said, you two ain’t ever been conventional. Glad to see you’re following the order of things, ‘least. I’ll be honest with you, it’s always been a little hard to picture where Eddie would end up, what he’d be doing in life. Other than playing that loud music and going to those damn noisy shows. Made me a little nervous with those girls I knew he brought around, didn’t ever meet none of them but I knew. If it had been then, I’d probably have been more scared. ‘Specially if he felt like he had to hide ‘em. Or if they had to hide him.”
Wayne leans further back into the chair, making the stiff thing look as comfortable as a recliner. 
“It’s different with you. We had this conversation before. You remember?” You think you know what he’s about to bring up, so you nod.
“Mhm. You’re about how old Penny was when she had Eddie. Maybe a little younger. You ain’t married to an asshole, either. For the most part.” 
You laugh again and point out, “I thought Penny never married Otis.”
Otis is Eddie’s dad. The older brother (by 10 years) of Wayne’s who swooped in and stole his best friend from him, introducing the much younger girl to a life of a hardcore drug you’d never touch and one Eddie would make sure he never had any part of: meth. 
Wayne had told you she’d gotten clean when she found out she was pregnant with Eddie and stayed that way, for him. You know that’s when he fell in love with her. Sadly, their story would never involve romance. They were kept apart by Otis, distance and themselves, neither one of them speaking up when she’d returned to Hawkins with Eddie, unwilling to have him live in a meth lab. In a cruel ironic twist, she’d ended up dying of an overdose not much longer after her return; she’d been struggling to sleep with everything going on and unknowingly mixed two over the counter sleeping pills that shut her system down. She’d stayed clean only to die because she wanted a good night's sleep so she could take care of her son. Eddie had been forced by the system to live with his father, only being allowed to return to Wayne—with a shaved head when traces of the drug were found in his hair—after his father’s lab was busted.
“She didn’t,” Wayne agrees, that far off look in his eye when he recounts his younger days to you. “But he wasn’t exactly the type of man any woman would want to marry. You got lucky with Eddie, he ain’t nothing like Otis.”
You hum in agreement, mind flooding with thoughts of soft curls and even softer brown eyes. You know Wayne loves Eddie on his own and wouldn’t ever treat him differently, but you can’t help but be thankful—for Wayne—that Eddie is an almost exact replica of his mom, appearance wise. For both of them, actually. Eddie hates his father and you know he’d hate himself if he looked in the mirror and saw any resemblance. 
“You got your head on right.” You snap out of your thoughts at the comment, surprised. 
“Huh?”
“You might be young, but you sure ain’t stupid. I may not know everything that went on with you, but I know you saved yourself from it. You and Eddie been doing an awful lot of that your whole lives, ‘least you get to do it together now. I know you love Eddie, and I know you love that baby. So don’t you dare say you made a mistake. Would I have liked for you to wait? Sure. Hell, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have minded waiting either. Unless—was this…?”
“No! No! It wasn’t planned at all!” You don’t mention that you and Eddie hadn’t been using protection, just blindly trusting your birth control. He doesn’t need to know that. 
Wayne sighs in relief. “See? You ain’t stupid.” Debatable. “And even if it was, I trust that you know what you’re doing. ‘S the reason I let you two live in that trailer alone.”
You smirk, happy to have the opportunity to chime in. 
“Are you sure it’s not because of Ms. Maple?” You wiggle your eyebrows, not so discreetly nodding your head to the trailer behind you and the occupant you’re sure is inside.
You laugh as Wayne raises his eyes at the awning.
“Lord,” he mutters, with fake annoyance. He’ll tell you all about Penny but he won’t say a thing about Maude Maple. You suspect it’s because he feels like he’s betraying Penny in some way, even though they were never involved. Munson men are loyal. 
“Is that what you came over here to pester me about? Or are we gonna keep this talk serious?”
“No,” You pout, curling your legs up to your chest. “I just—I didn’t know how to tell you. Kind of forgot we have to tell people actually, and when Eddie mentioned that he’d brought it up in a chat─”
You’re cut off when Wayne booms out a laugh, surprising you considering you’d rarely heard him laugh hard.
He’s almost snickering when he calms down, “Is that what he told you? That boy called me up and asked if we could talk. Figured it could only mean he’d gotten you pregnant, considering he already eloped with you. He was shaking in his shoes the entire time he was over, he didn’t just bring it up in a run-in.”
Your mouth drops open, eyes squinting as you think about how you’re gonna chastise Eddie as soon as you get back to the trailer. That jerk! He made it seem like it was just something that came up in conversation, not something that he’d set aside time to talk to Wayne about! 
Another half of you wanted to kiss him silly for taking it seriously and having a meaningful conversation with his father figure about becoming a father.
“No wonder you were so well prepared.”
“That didn’t have nothing to do with it. Like I said, I figured you were. Not just ‘cause he wanted to have a talk, it may not be obvious to the two of you since you see each other every day, but you’re filling out a little more.”
Your eyebrows shoot up, though there’s no animosity to it. You know he’s not implying you’re gaining weight, he’s saying you’re showing. 
“Winter layers can’t hide it.”
Your mouth drops open and closed, gaze darting from what you thought was your normal looking stomach to Wayne and back again.
“You’re good!” You marvel, baffled at how observant and damn near omnipresent Wayne Munson is.
Wayne looks pleased with your statement, a small smile on his face. “I know. Eddie says it’s a girl. What color clothes should I be buying my grandbaby? You got any names picked out?”
You pull your hand out of your pocket to nervously bite at your thumb. Ever since you’d accepted the fact that you were gonna be a mom (still so fucking weird), to a girl, there was only one name bouncing around in your head. You hadn’t even shared the idea with Eddie yet. 
“I really like ‘Penny’.”
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sycamorelibrary754 · 5 months
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The Piggy Story
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Summary: Yelena is Melina’s Secret Santa and takes a crack at a few handmade piggy presents!
Pairing: Yelena x reader (platonic), Natasha x reader, Alexei Alanovich Shostakov x reader (platonic) Melina Vostokoff x reader (platonic)
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: None
A/N: If you read Happy Thanksgiving, you will understand this story. If you didn’t, please enjoy the random silly fluffiness. 😂
For two weeks Yelena had been sneaking around putting everyone on edge. Coming and going at all hours of the night. Not letting you tag along like you normally would when she would walk Fanny. At first, you thought maybe she was preparing for an undercover assignment. Every time you asked her what was up, she evaded answering the question with a face that said, “If I tell you, I have to kill you.” Honestly, it was par for the course. You had learned not to overthink your sister-in-law’s idiosyncrasies. If it was possible, they made you love her even more.
You were still in your pajamas playing cards with Wanda on the sofa of the common room when Natasha walked in. “Hey detka, have you seen Yelena? She was supposed to be in a briefing with me and Steve 20 minutes ago.”
“No, I haven’t,” placing your cards face down on your lap. “Not since this morning anyway.”
“She’s been acting odd lately,” Nat said.
“Odd in general, or odd for her because you know there’s a difference,” Wanda offered.
“That’s true,” pointing at Wanda.
“If you see your best friend, would you tell her that her sister is going to kick her ass?”
“Aye aye wifey,” you giggled with a mock salute and a quick peck to her lips.
Your wife rolled her eyes, “It’s a wonder I married you.”
*^~^*
The next day you and Yelena were putting up Christmas decorations around the compound. You were dancing around the halls in your favorite Christmas sweater singing happily.
“Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
Peter’s on the go
Laughing all the way
Bells on Fanny ring
Making Tony fight
Wanda wants to flip a coin
And sing this song tonight
Jingle bells, Clinton smells
Banner laid an egg
Ant mobile lost a wheel
And Loki got away
Hey!”
“That was very nice, y/n, now how about something from White Christmas?” Handing you a cup of hot cocoa topped with whipped cream.
No can do, boo. Only one performance per Christmas season,” sitting beside her on the sofa.
You both took a small sip of the chocolate beverage, the steam still rising hypnotically off the mug.
“You know, one of mom’s pigs is named Clinton.” Yelena grinned sheepishly.
“Really? That’s funny, I only know Alexi,” slurping some of the whipped cream off the top of your hot cocoa.
“Mom named Alexi, then she asked if Natasha and I would do the honors of naming the other two. Clinton was the poser’s choice.”
“I can’t believe Nat never told me. What name did you choose?” You took another sip of your beverage.
“Sir Francis Bacon.”
You almost choke on your hot cocoa, as you sputter and it rolls down your chin. “Oh my God. That’s adorable! You’ll have to point out which is which when we go to your parents house for Christmas next week.”
“You’ve got some whipped cream on your cheek.” Leaning over and licking it off.
“Oh my God! Who are you, Fanny?! I don’t know where your tongue has been! Ick!! Get some hot water, get some disinfectant, get some iodine!” You jumped up and ran to the bathroom as Yelena lapsed into giggles and fell on the floor.
*^~^*
The next few days are a splendor of Christmas activities. You had just settled down on the sofa wrapped in your favorite blanket to watch The Family Stone with the rest of the team when you noticed you were missing someone.
“Where’s Yelena?”
“In my lab,” Tony replied, tossing popcorn up in the air and catching it in his mouth.
“Umm, why?” Slightly confused.
“Blondie wanted a private space to work on a project. I told her she could use the lab as long as she didn’t joyride any of the suits.”
“Yelena in your lab with unlimited access to nanotechnology.” Nat pondered, grabbing two Christmas cookies and offering you one before snuggling up beside you in your blanket ball.
“Go down there and ask her if she wants to watch the movie,” you said, throwing popcorn across the room at Kate.
“Why me?” The young archer asked.
“Because you’re closer, and she’s starting to freak me out,” you reasoned.
“I wouldn’t worry about it. FRIDAY has an eye on her.” Tony said.
*^~^*
You awoke at Melina and Alexi’s on Christmas morning to the wonderful smell of Cinnamon Rolls and coffee. You agreed to do Secret Santas with your wife’s family this year. You and Natasha were wearing your matching Christmas pajamas ready to exchange presents, but Yelena was unusually eager and insisted on going first.
“I’m so excited! Mama, I was your Secret Santa this year and I wanted to try my hand at a homemade gift,” Yelena said, grabbing Melina’s tablet from the counter and tapping a few buttons on the touchscreen. “Come on in, boys!”
The door opened and all three of Melina’s pigs toddled into the house. As the three swine rounded the corner, you were greeted with the sight of each one wearing a custom-crocheted vest. Red on Alexi, Purple on Clinton, and Orange on Sir Francis Bacon. Each vest was expertly crafted and adorned with their name. Piggy prestige at its finest.
“Surprise, Mama! Now, not only will the piggies be warm in the winter, but they are stylish individuals with lots of pockets!”
“The pigs are wearing vests,” Nat deadpanned. You squeezed her hand with a smile, a silent plea to be nice.
“Not vests, sestra. Pests! Piggy vests. An invention of my own creation.” Yelena corrected. “Just call me the next Tony Stark.”
“The pigs are wearing Pests,” you revised with a giggle.
Thank you so much, sweetheart! They are wonderful. You know, I always thought they needed some sort of clothing. The winters are so harsh in Russia, and they certainly deserve something special.” Melina declared, planting a kiss on her younger daughter’s cheek.
“Alexi has the best Pest! Look at him, girls. He looks just like the Red Guardian. Ready to take on Captain America.” Alexi added, petting his namesake.
“Oh my God, it’s like living in a Dr. Seuss book,” Nat joked.
“I didn’t know you knew how to crochet?” Turning to your best friend.
“I didn’t. No, no… Kate Bishop does though. She taught me. It only took $100 for the yarn and supplies, which I stole from Stark, and a promise to never show up in the middle of the night again unless it’s an emergency.”
“That’s where you were sneaking out to at all hours of the day and night?” Surprise written all over your face.
“Of course, where did you think I was going?” Yelena asked.
“Undercover, the Multiverse, I don’t know!” Turning beat red the longer she looked at you. “You were scaring the crap out of everyone.”
“Ha! That is funny. You are so funny, y/n.” She placed her hands on yours and Natasha’s shoulders. “Now, I don’t want to spoil the surprise, but by New Year’s Eve, a couple of people in this room are going to be stylish individuals as well!” Wrapping you both in a warm group hug.
Natasha looked over at you behind Yelena’s back, and you couldn’t help but smile. Merry Christmas, indeed.
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ms0milk · 7 months
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𝟏𝟐 | 𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫
ー✧ prince!bakugou x royal guard!reader
"You will spend summers in rainstorms and autumns in his orchards because you are Alderan and he will kill Takoban gods to get you there."
cw brief description of drowning and a claustrophobic struggle with the ocean. suggestions of suicidal intention and self harm. reader tries to fight the sea and your prince has horrible misunderstandings about it. bkg 🫱🏽‍🫲🏼 unethical rescue tactics pt 2, borrowed clothes, a fevered fireside confession in the bedroom you’ve been searching for 6.4k
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If Takoba is the edge of the world, Aldera is the center. You so starved for comfort, stand with your feet at the tip of the surf and tie your braids together.
You watch the sea at midnight and the winds coming off the water bite your scars before they chill your bones. Autumn at the edge of the world is miserable. Lakes freeze but the ocean is colder, and full of tides , like Todoroki said, which you’ve spent the day reading about. Unlike lakes and winter ice skating, the ocean has a taste. Salt and decay. It tastes unfathomably ancient. You watch its many maws foaming under the moonlight and seashells burn in frigid water when you step onto them.
In the view from Bakugou’s bedroom, you’ve lined your boots up neatly in the sand and stand watch beside them for a moment. You’re dressed to stop a midnight siege, in your white nightgown and padded habergeon, staring so small and far away from the warmth of his fireplace. You in a dark blue world, framed by his open window. Bakugou would have sipped his tea and rolled his eyes at his newly fucked up sleep schedule and how ridiculous you insist on looking in public if his cup wasn’t spilt on the rugs where he dropped it. If he hadn’t already ripped his door off its hinges in his sprint out of the castle.
You couldn’t sleep. You have no appetite and no mobility yet for sparring. Just books. Just Uraraka answering your questions about the sea while watching her men train. The ride with Todoroki yesterday was nice but it left your throat stiff and you are still in your kingdom’s service. Today in Takoba, tomorrow and forever behind your prince. Long before the blue gardens and scars, before the kitchen, before sticky crowds and white horses and cold hallways, something somewhere started to die.
You take another step into the swollen water, it rises with the moon, to confirm your suspicions and grimace when a crab scuttles over your foot. Another step and you’re up to your hem. It would all be easier if your heart was still a forest fire. When did that stop? When did the rain come? Up to your knees now. Seawater climbs your nightgown.
As it stands you’re no longer a dragon, just damp tinder. The black sea sways you side to side at the hips now so gently– keep walking, don’t look back. You will free yourself from doubt and you will fight a god to do it.
“Moon makes tides,” Uraraka yawned and slouched and stretched as you sat on your knees beside her in the pit.
“Can you swim in it?”
“In the ocean?” she squinted, “Yeah of course. But don’t tell me you want to swim in this weather?”
“I won’t.”
Shinsou could only pretend not to hear for so long from his spot beside you both this afternoon, “The moon makes tides, and tides make storms.”
Good. Up to your ribs now. Wear the rock there like an anchor.
In the cold water your body heat becomes that much more apparent and it’s lovely like home. Genuinely hot for a second. Your nightgown floats up around you and you sink quickly from chest to nose when the sand under your feet drops to freezing nothing. The sudden dip sends icy pain behind both eyes and the sensation of failing steeles every joint sickly sore. Walking through the ocean is like a fight, like driving a sword through someone solid, like braving a thunderstorm, but sinking into it is easier than sleeping.
You gasp and spit out the aftermath of losing your footing but you also fight too hard in anticipation of sinking and you’re suddenly in the open air up to your waist like a salmon leaping upstream. The weight of the nightgown settles you back down to your shoulders and it’s silent except for the sound of waves kissing the beach and one another. Whistling wind. You bob only some ten meters out from shore, just short of where Todoroki held you back for fear of drowning and something wild like greed blinks open a sleepy brown eye.
You hardly have to move a limb to keep your head above water; the sea is free and gentle. You float easily here, where a lake wants to watch you fight. It’s part of the fun at home and in exchange you are safe in freshwater. Salt stings– saliva pools under your tongue to keep it from getting inside– but it also holds you up in the foam like two hands under the hip.
Is this what you were so afraid of? This is the god you planned on killing tonight?
Every day in this miserable place you have been beaten. You have fallen apart in some way, your hair is too messy, your new clothes don’t fit right. You lose Aldera with every step, heel toe– earrings that are no longer yours, heel toe– a weapon you can't return, heel toe and stand at attention– a brooch you’re too afraid to wear, to lose too, so you keep it under your pillow and wear silver seashells instead. Blue fire took the first victory in the forest and you salvaged your prince with your life thin in your teeth. Takoba took the second victory and strung you out in your nightgown for nobles to pick at like crows. A driftwood table took the third and Bakugou stole the fourth. The only time you have ever won here is when you decided to die. When you churn the water with your arms a pain echoes across your back not quite inside your scars.
Kirishima on the verge of tears, Shinsou above your operating table, Uraraka at your side, Todoroki holding you back from the edge of the world– your prince, wet to his knees– you have never, not once in your life have you ever failed. Their gazes make your throat hurt and you spit again into a tiny rolling wave that lifts itself over your chin and into your ears.
The goddess of the sea does not pity you.
She pulls you into her arms and laughs when you rub your freshwater eyes. She tossels your hair with silent waves you could never have seen coming. She reminds you of her strength. And Todoroki told you that you couldn’t possibly challenge her– eat your words sealace prince. Even just this once, witness me. You are a gem in the crown of Aldera, the left hand of the golden family. Takoba is no setback the sea is not your master, you are a chosen servant, not a mistake. It is so wonderful to be in the presence of a queen again and at night her water is soft and black.
The shore is farther than you remember when you finally glance back at the world. You bob like a peach, a frozen peach, and realize you can’t feel the cold anymore. Time to head back. Today was just a test anyway, to make sure you could put up your fight. Maybe sleep will come now that you’re starting to breathe heavy and now that your muscles ache again after days without real training. Ice creeps up the back of your neck from wet hair.
The goddess of the sea plays with you for a few more seconds and you can’t wait to come back in the warmth of the sun to lay on your back with her to whom you no longer need to prove yourself. The ocean pulls in its depths just as much as it pushes at the shore so you brace your eyes for discomfort and duck under the surface to kick a good length forward. It would have worked in a lake, at the center of the world.
When you resurface you are somehow farther than before and considerably shorter of breath. The cold starts to press on your lungs now that you’re truly using them. It’s okay, one more time. You kick once to let the goddess lift you up with her salt and breathe in the free air before diving under again but all you actually do is stir bubbles around you exactly where you started. If anything even farther. Your boots are too small to see now.
There are no storms, no raging waves, no rain, no thunder, hardly wind, what is putting up the fight? Whatever. You paddle above water, thankful for light clothes, and weary of the growing ache under your jaw– the start of a pulsing headache. More than anything you are finally excited for bed, but no matter how hard you push there seems to be a growing distance between you and safety.
Dread drops in your peachpit stomach and you start to feel long pretty fingers tickle your heels in black water. The ghost of the flame mage happy to drag you with him to the bottom of the sea. Irrational like a fear of the dark, but still there’s no more time for testing pride, you have to get back to shore. The little girl inside of you cowers when you take one more heavy breath and then release it to sink yourself as deep as the salt will let you. You can see the breaking point, all you need is to reach the seafloor and kick yourself to it.
As you drift down into the pitch black something so much better than sand or ghosts meets your feet. You connect with rock as your lungs begin to ache for air and kick with every well trained muscle your legs have, forward towards the shore. Faster than freshwater, you rocket to the surface and gasp excitedly, blink rapidly, and infinitely closer to white sand, and then immediately the goddess pulls you under again.
Sure you found the breaking point, sure your toes tease the start of the shore you want to reach so badly, but that’s what waves do here. Break.
Something so silent couldn’t possibly be this powerful, but your head is forced back under as your hips are pulled back out and you tumble head over knees, mouth filled suddenly with salt and sand in the darkness. Resurfacing is no fun task, choking. You’re thankful it’s easy to float in the ocean but saltwater dries out your mouth as you retch it back out from your throat into the foam and then there’s another break over your head to remind you that humans should stay far away from god.
You’ll die just thirty meters from the shore. Salt blinds you. Water deep in one ear keeps you just dizzy enough to let this sea carry you out once again, and shouting isn’t an option. Shouting or gasping, you have to pick one. Ache has turned to paralysis; muscles so beaten and a heart beating so fast you’re already at the last limit reached by your master, training to failure. Striking and swinging until you can no longer hold your weapon. Hours of training reduced to fifteen minutes at sea.
The bruises of your shoulder protest every paddle you force out of them and go much stiffer much faster than the rest of you. In a way, the mage is drowning you. In every way the sea is much more claustrophobic than a war room.
The moon watches you heaving for air stuck between beating waves and being swept back out to sea. She doesn’t do anything. You are pulled under again. The rocks beneath you scratch your soft skin this time and your instinct is to flinch which fills your nose with water and drowning is certainly not as peaceful as poetry makes it out to be.
Of course it ends like this. A soggy creature fighting gods alone.
Of course he’s watching you, his Captain, being stolen by the sea.
You surface forcefully with a grip on your scruff and while your body remembers how to breathe, magic every furious color of the rainbow arcs above your head. The water recoils for a moment around you in the force of his impact. Bakugou erupts from the sky as he always does into the tragedy of your life in Takoba and you have no control over your searing gaze when it turns to him above you, framed by sparks and stars. Halo from the moon.
You both fall back into the water but not so helplessly as a moment ago. Your prince hooks and arm across your chest, pressing your back to his front and with so much more strength than you could ever muster, rips his way through the water in half of a backstroke. Half of him focused on keeping you afloat and only half of him conquering the sea. His legs create their own current. He holds you and you’re sure you’re breathing loudly enough into his collar to hurt his ears.
You are an excellent swimmer. Weak children, drunk diplomats, tests from your master; you have dragged your fair share of victims out of rivers and as the victim yourself you know better than to struggle or panic in your prince’s grip as he drags you from the goddess, but you can’t help how your fingers scratch at his translucent tunic. Cling to the warmth of his bicep.
In twenty seconds he has reached the break. Strength like a war criminal, like a godslayer. He turns in the water, times it to match the swell of a wave for height, and pulls you chest to chest with a guiding hand on the side of your head to fold you into him. The sea drops you and you know what comes next. Bakugou anticipates your struggle, or a drowned man’s panic, any logical thing and wraps another arm around you tight as he pulls you both under, but you don’t fight a single second and neither do you breathe.
He knows the sea so much better. If you weren’t unraveling like a common soldier you would have realized too, just how much calmer the water is underneath its surface. Even with ears full of sand you can hear the wave crash above you but there is no pull underwater. The roll of the goddess back out to sea twirls through your hair but nothing else. She lets your prince push up to the surface and doesn’t stop you from catching your breath inside the crook of his neck. Eleven seconds to beat the break. What does he even need a captain for?
This time when the tide drops, you don’t quite drop with it. Knees in the sand. Back on solid ground you realize how hard a body can shake and then water is beating you down again from behind, and a warm hand has you by the back of the haubergeon to keep you from slipping out to sea or laying flat down to sleep in the surf.
Both hardly walking, and you more-than-half carried, you and your prince stagger over seashells like glass back to the spot where your boots rest like nothing bad has ever happened at all, chased the whole time by a disappointed tide. You collapse the second he lets you. You, useless with cold and vomiting seafoam.
“Why?!” Your prince chokes, similarly out of breath beside you, hunched over his knees from the effort of winning your war. You can feel the glare. You are warmed by it and then entirely numb again, in a terrible turn of events, to even his attention. The very last ember dies without smoke.
Bakugou, even in a temper tantrum, has never looked quite so disheveled. He’s been wet before, and pushed his hair back with big hands and caught his breath through his teeth just like this, but he’s never looked at you with such confusion. His eyebrows don’t sit right. Without a scowl his whole thing really falls apart, huh?
“Answer me, Eyes!”
You wheeze instead of speaking when you try to use your voice for the first time and spit out the last of the salt that comes up with it. He doesn’t move, catching his breath across the sand at midnight. Your prince really is so pretty and something inside is eating you alive to the beat of the wash of waves. He is a star and you are the bloody little creature beneath him always, not chosen at all.
You sit yourself up. Bakugou is beautiful. Broad chest and shoulders trained for his magic and a wet tunic that clings to every lovely shape, just a few feet too far away to touch. Unmarred face and shaggy hair. His eyes. His jaw slopes sharp, sharper still in the moonlight and dripping with water, up towards his hungry red eyes that eat everything they’ve e–
“Wake up!” He barks.
He’s not eating you. He brings back your focus and when you hold his stare this time it’s so obvious he’s not confused, or angry, not exhausted or embarrassed or exasperated. He’s six and he’s holding your hands in a velvet carriage, terrified.
Oh boy. You guess self-control died with your heart, because your shoulders start to shake in a chuckle. Bakugou stares. Any fold of his brows melts immediately at the sound of your soft laughter but he hardens again when he speaks.
“What about this is funny?!” and pulls himself up to his knees as you lower yourself to clamshells, not-quite-laughing but not fighting the smile either. This is exhausting. “You just tried to kill yourself!”
This makes you snort, which is ugly, and shuts your prince up entirely. One laugh like a lie and then another and you curl in on yourself, shivering arms folded above your head and forehead pressed flat to the sand. Something like an apology. You are redundant, not suicidal.
If it were a real apology you would wait until he spoke again to raise your head like Todoroki in the stables, but that’s not what you’re doing at all. You ache from the inside. Burn in fact. You chuckle again and spit salt one last time when you sit up, then grab for your shoes with muscle memory instead of feeling since the cold has stolen that from you too. Bakugou is staring again– it is irritating, you should do it less.
The ocean makes a lovely noise when you are not drowning in it. It’s much quieter and sounds a bit like laundry sliding over itself. Or apples tumbling into a basket. You are the first to your feet, clumsily, and you are not so delirious that you forget you need proximity to a fire. Anyone else might not be able to stand through this adrenaline trembling but how many apprentices have come so close to death so many times as you?
“Oi,” Bakugou growls, confused again by the wrong emotion for just long enough to let you escape.
The hill between the castle and the sea is overgrown with dune grasses tall enough to tickle your hips and that is what you decide to climb. Empty stomach, ruined shoulder, shaking legs, deep dead eyes.
Your clothes cling to you. They make you small. He can hardly breathe in the cold as he rushes to catch up, dripping what he's sure are icicles, and you look as if you could hardly stay conscious in it. Does your face feel as red as it looks? Friction or fever? “Captain!” And it’s obvious Bakugou can’t decide on his volume, but bulldozes after you nonetheless husky with exertion, “fuckin wait–”
There are sandy paths beaten into this seaside hill, small like children made them on their happy little way to swim. Bakugou makes quick work of it. You hike. You put all your effort into staying on two feet through a chill you could hardly ever imagine. Heat pounds in your temples, cruelly imitating Alderan fire when really it’s something poisoned like liquor.
“Please don’t follow me sir,” you call over the wind when the prince gets a few steps too close to catching up and he makes a sound almost like words, like words you shot dead in his throat. You know that sound because you have been shot at the same exact angle. Deadly isn’t it? He falls back.
Just for a moment Bakugou stops and watches, filled with something neither of you have the words for yet. Recovering just as quickly as you are succumbing to exhaustion.
Wait, he stares. Just– “Y/n.”
Wrapped in white, you are framed by rolling seagrass in the moonlight. You finally stop climbing and turn. You like a half-drowned painting. In a furred cape you might be a queen. From your spot smiling sadly at the edge of the world, your nose has started to bleed.
“Give me an order.”
Six and shaking in his hands. Eleven soaked in a fruit filled hallway, always working and fond of libraries. Sense of humor that doubles over his queen. Often covered in blood, staring too earnestly right now for him to remember that anger might fix this. Bakugou doesn’t breathe.
You turn back towards the castle alone and for the very last time, your body keeps the tears at bay. On a hill of swaying green grass and bright in the moonlight, your prince, frozen, looks so much like his mother you should kill him for it.
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You always thought you were hiding from him on duty, only slightly more stealthy than a dragon. It got better when Jeanist stopped training you in chainmail, but your excitement at every small job bounced off the walls of his castle so obviously. Squirrel duty? You helped a hundred bastards back outside without pause. Sent up to swept bookshelves under the Great Oak and you're the only person he’s ever seen hum to themself so high in the air. Stable duty? Stable master more like. Seven and stacking stools to reach the saddles before Jeanist set you back on the ground by your scruff like his kitten. Bakugou can’t remember what went first, your heartbeat or his hearing.
The very first time you snuck up on him was in August under a plum tree, nine years old. He slept beside his book in the shade on a perfect day, perfectly alone and free of tutoring for the afternoon. Maybe because you were barefoot, but somehow even out of breath, the only thing that gave you away was your voice.
“Careful Highness.” He shot awake with that and figured for a moment that you were a dream while his eyes adjusted to the light through the leaves behind you– panting above him and holding tight to a plum. Like premonition your other hand lurched to catch another as it fell toward him, “they’re ready for harvest.”
Bakugou sat up. Off at an impossible distance for you to have run to catch plums, Jeanist stood beside a hanging line of red uniforms waving a beckoning hand.
“Laundry calls,” you whispered. As the little prince turned stupidly back to you above him, you set both plums on the grass beside his book and bowed.
Wait.
“Maybe a nap in the vineyard? Grapes won't bruise.”
Wait, I know you.
He watched you bow one last time and jog out of the shade back to Jeanist and Alderan laundry, just as he watches you stumble now in the dark, towards the faraway lights of a castle without the fire you need.
Wait!
“Y/n!” Bakugou bursts over the ridge and back onto marble pavement, what the fuck is he gonna do– your name won’t work twice, he’s wasted too much time. “Captain!”
You pay him no mind drifting away with your back still turned and with even less coordination than when you dragged yourself from the sea. You are deteriorating– fuck, fuck it. Bakugou, brimming with something to the left of anger, charges. If you hear him coming you do nothing to stop him. Not as he closes your distance with eight good strides and slings you over his shoulder.
"I–!" you jerk to strike instinctively, “Put me down!”
Good, you can shout. He still has time, you’re still alive. He’ll apologize for touching you later, for hesitating and staring, he will say everything he set aside in anger when you are not trying to kill yourself.
“Put me down,” you hiss like you know you’re one of three people that can make his skin prickle with threat.
“Not a chance.”
You grip the back of his tunic, clinging so wet to his body that you grab equal parts flesh and he turns away from your path to the glowing front gates all those hundreds of meters away, to kick in a door on an insignificant corner of an insignificant annex in the shadows of the castle that is only unlocked because it’s the same one he flew from, instead of his window, when he was trying not to startle you with his magic and into the sea.
You will spend summers in rainstorms and autumns in his orchards because you are Alderan and he will kill Takoban gods to get you there. Your nails on his back begin to burn with your silence and it’s haunting not only because you weigh less to him than a phantom, but because the smell of the sea follows you inside when there is no one else left to close the door. Immediately it is warmer without the wind but he will not slow until he finds fire, because you are gripping him instead of screaming again– because you are freezing to death and he will not let you win under new circumstances after he worked so hard to save you from the first.
This part of the castle is his, below the kitchens, the deep white underbelly in the cliff over the sea where no one will find him except cooks and staff who keep his secret and the queen who kindly ordered these quarters before she lost her mind. There is no difference of weight or warmth when he sets you down without a fight in front of the only red door in the hall. You aren’t a ghost. Even if you aren’t convincing. He throws the door open.
You would win in a contest but Bakugou too can make a steady fire. It’s still chirping bright in his fireplace when he crowds you inside of his quarters. Wood and furs. The smell of bread, everything so unlike Takoba. Small. Hard surfaces cushioned or covered in anticipation of winter, with red and gold and wool, forest tapestries from home– and it is a small victory that you take another step, then another, deeper inside without hint or suggestion.
“where are we?”
“You need to change,” Bakugou dismisses when you’re far enough inside to close the door, and pulls open a cherry chest of drawers at the foot of his bed. It’s draped in pelts and pillows. Faded herbs hang in bundles above you.
“have clothes in my room.”
“Didn’t ask.” When he looks over his shoulder, you are wobbling towards the fire like a starving woman, with two hands reaching subtly from your side. Good, shut up and warm up. Bakugou rifles through his options one more time and grimaces, raising his own black Alderan riding tunic aloft; it’s the only thing that’s going to be long enough to cover all of you.
He’ll sort out this shitshow step by step– dry you off, shout scream scold, get you warm, shout some more– a good Alderan lecture, and then tie you to him if he must since you obviously can’t be trusted alone. Walking into the sea when you thought everyone was sleeping. And for what? He grinds his teeth and grips the sids of his dresser with the realization that he’s probably not going to sleep again tonight. He’d kill you if that wasn’t what you so obviously wanted.
“Alright asshole, get ch–” Bakugou chokes when he turns back to you, sitting politely fireside with a dagger materialized in your good hand, blade pressed flat to your collar. He jumps, black tunic flying and shouts indiscernibly in a lunge for the weapon.
Not fast enough because by the time he makes one step, you’ve driven the blade down your chest and clear through your shirt. It falls open and your bare ribs seize in goosebumps this close to the fire, “told you I’m not trying to kill myself.”
“Drop it!” He wails, as if to a dog.
Oh how you will haunt him until the end of time. A month with you, just some soldier from his castle– a prodigal apprentice in a kingdom of geniuses– an impersonable, silent, invisible guard, who should cause harm only when necessary and appear only in danger– a woman who does this job to a tee, and still somehow steals his attention to any corner of the room she conceals herself in– just a month and you have beguiled him. Reaping grim satisfaction from watching you wreak havoc in this place he loathes.
You sit in front of his fire in his secret room, half bare now that you’ve decided to cut your clothes off of yourself, and entirely bare when you run the lip of the dagger across your shoulder to catch the fabric and then rough straight down the other side. You are pink from heat and staring through him entirely unfocused, all chaotic braids and parted lips. There’s a dry track of blood smeared under your nose and he shudders to think what part of his back it was wiped on while he was carrying you away. The fingertips of your scar peek into free air. Bakugou can’t spin around fast enough, howling in anger.
You sound like you’re smiling again mournfully like last time, “following orders, sir.”
“Don’t call me that!” He roars and shoves the black tunic behind his back towards you. This room is small, maybe five paces wide, and so he sits as far as he can from you on the floor beside his bed, still within arms reach. Back turned.
What the fuck is so funny? This isn’t a headache this is sustained torture. Bakugou’s own wet clothes cling to him in dry patches of salt and stick and grit that he’s desperate to bathe away just as soon as you are tethered to another magician. In another kingdom. You breathe heavily behind him in a mismatch between effort and task and then a sopping thud reminds Bakugou that you are stripping to nothing behind him and piling your rags onto his fine rugs.
“You’re a fucking nightmare.”
“you’ll be free of me in a moment.”
And it dawns on him, seasick irony, that there isn’t a person alive in this kingdom but him who could stop you from doing a single thing.
“If you think I’m letting you out of my sight you’re concussed.”
You pause your fiddling behind him for a second before resuming and you’re close enough that he can still hear your less than methodic pulling and ripping. A huff here and there. In the seconds it takes you to speak again your voice is still laced with the amusement that makes his skin crawl, “third time I’ve told you I’m not trying to kill myself.”
“Save it– just hurry up.”
“was just saying a prayer.”
“Save. It. An excuse that fulla holes wouldn’t even work on Kirishima the naif.”
“because nothing gets past the Champion.”
Bakugou erupts, out of unwounded fists to clench, and jerks around with every intention of barking at you. He’s not sure what he pictured before turning and he’s not sure where his voice went, but you are sat beside his fire draped in his black tunic with an expression he can hardly find the words for.
What is it in the way your shoulders hang? Exhaustion? The way your chin tips or your eyes flutter? Hunger? You watch him like you’ll eat him alive, like your life is the least of his concerns. The laces at your collar drape limp over your fingers from where you gave up their tying and so the shirt hangs loose and open, and much much too big. Bakugou has never thought of the shape your sternum makes between your breasts or what color the fine hair on your thighs might be. He knows the answers now because you’ve given up on posture like a selkie out of water and everything so unlike his Captain– because something inside of you is slipping.
“don’t bother the Champion with this,” your voice is still draconian. Even as your body fails, your eyes are still dark and infinite and possessive beside the glow of his fireplace and under a window that looks out over black water, “or Lady Mina, or your Lords. Don’t worry them with me.”
Bakugou mirrors you unconsciously in the way he sits close enough to touch. Why do you say that? You keep saying it, ‘Lady Mina,’ all month the same thing. Sir Sero, like he’s not a soldier in Jeanist’s rear guard. Like Mina and Denki didn’t grow up in the castle with you all to learn magic fifteen years ago.
“They’re not,” he admits because something about you unraveling by the sea sucks the malice like marrow from his bones. Maybe something inside of him is slipping too.
The pair of you slouch on the soft rugs from home and sticky with foreign salt, looking. Your next smile seems to take every ounce of strength, “what?”
“They’re not lords.”
And in a rush, such horror ignites in the eaves of this tiny room like an Alderan dollhouse. It is a grease fire film of oil on water. He is the match. You drop your head to your shoulder and start to laugh like Bakugou isn’t watching the life evaporate from the top of your head and out his window in the heat that pinks your cheeks and blotches your chest. You laugh like you have life to spare, “course they’re not.”
You manage enough coordination to hold the chest of his tunic closed with one hand as you rise, still giggling bitter, nothing like the bells you rang for Todoroki.
“Stop–” Bakugou reaches for you as you walk past him towards the door but stops short of touching even the air.
“dream something sweet Highness, I won’t interrupt again.”
“Oi, wait–” He gathers himself awkwardly barefoot and still dripping seawater, to catch the door before you pull it open. You bow your head and reach for the knob at the same time as he manages to slam his palm and weight against it in case you decide you have enough life left to fight.
“Told you, you’re not leaving my sight.”
Maybe staring isn’t so much a habit as it is a system to keep you from collapsing under the weight of Alderan sun. You who watch the world carefully so that when you attack it is silent and succinct. As long as you’re only looking, just watching carefully, the world will never be in danger of you spilling the secrets obvious only to you, and your kingdom won’t have to acknowledge the war crimes it takes to teach a kid how to kill.
Bakugou looms above you and rests against his door on a forearm. You raise your head like it’s lead to look at him. Your mouth even opens to speak but then something like fire punches to life in the blacks of your eyes.
It’s not a blink this time, it’s a stutter at first– and your face is so flushed that it almost looks like you’re glowing– before something you see feeds the kindling to roaring. For a blessed second you aren’t smiling. You stare so deeply into your prince he can’t look away for long enough to realize that you’re reaching for him.
Why? Why are you leaning closer?
The first heat pools at the hinge of his jaw and then scalding follows. Why are your hands so hot? You pinch his earlobe between thumb and pinky and let your fingers graze over the ridges of ear just so gently that sparks itch where sweat prickles at his neck.
It’s still for a second before chills, agonizing, erupt up his spine, bone by bone as he realizes– as your prince’s face drops and his own hand jumps to reach his ears and what’s no longer there. His right hand grasps at Alderan gold, a tiny sun. His left only cups yours, so much smaller– and the ghost of your earring lost somewhere deep at sea. Six and bleeding in his hands, all grown up and at his mercy.
“I hate you.” You smile in anguish.
You don’t bother pulling your hand from his, only rest your head against the door and let your heavy eyes finally close. Nothing to hold back the freshwater tears now.
Bakugou almost isn’t fast enough in his shock to catch you when you begin to slide down the wall in collapse, “Y– shit– Y/n!” One hand pulls up on your own and the other reaches around your back to try and bring you into him instead of hard against the wooden floor like he’s still a prince and not just a man whose heart won’t stop racing.
“Y/n? Y/n,” he shuffles you in his lap where you landed, and breathes the shapes he hopes make the sound of your name as he searches, distracted. You are limp in his arms and entirely too warm to have been freezing to death a few minutes ago. Lips parted and rolling like you’re trying to speak. Running to safety with you on his shoulder, the seachill must have hidden your fever from him. He cradles your head to check for blood and holds your cheek when his fingers come out dry from your hair, "c'mon, Captain."
“majesty..”
Your heartbreaking laughter still bubbles up in quiet sobs and incoherence murmured through abandoned ego, “..m sorry,” when you manage to see through the tears for a moment before falling unconscious again. Every apology laced always with “mitsuki.” You must have been holding it back. You must have been keeping the fever at bay by sheer force of will because now on the floor against him, your body is so hot it’s making his chest clammy. Sweat has soaked into the nooks of your black tunic and pools in salt licks between your breasts. Fuck Alderan fire.
Your prince gathers your shoulders and chest, your waist hips and exhaustion, into a bundle in his arms and pulls himself up with his doorknob because he will not let you drown, he will not let you freeze, and you will not win by setting yourself on fire. As he rises, blood leaks again from your nose. Tears fall aimlessly against his heart split to six like a pomegranate. When Bakugou is king there will be no child soldiers.
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ganymedesclock · 2 months
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Tell me more about parasites and their hosts. Do you think the dynamic works if neither is aware of the other?
Before all else, any simplified dynamic has nigh infinite potential and how you explore it depends entirely on what you personally are looking for.
In my own case, a lot of my relationship with the idea of parasitism comes from my own mental health being strongly dependent on where I live- being able to return to home like a save point in a horror game. This sense of constantly being dependent on comfort, not merely as a normal person is but to the extent that I've felt like I'll be unable to cope if I can't get home in time or haven't built adequate mini 'safe rooms' (e.g. my car or a hotel room) to recharge, has formed a lot of my relationship with the idea of parasitism and the idea of haunted houses.
Both, to me, centrally focus on the idea of dependency on equilibrium. A house can't really chase you down- while there's certainly haunted house stories that give it the power to trap or pursue, to me, the most compelling angle is often one of necessity. Someone weighing the ghosts, the violence, the blood on the walls, and having to ask themselves if this is really worse than being homeless, or losing some advantage or shelter that you have here that can't be found elsewhere.
In the case of parasitism, the host is the haunted house. It may be simply indifferent to the parasite's survival; it may be actively hostile to and trying to rid itself of the 'guest'. But both parties have to weigh the odds- is it worth tearing into your own walls just to get at the interloper, is it worth staying in a place that unknowingly tolerates your existence at best and hates you at worst if the alternative is being laid barren in the world?
As a child, I remember reading the Animorphs books and one thing that always struck me as an unexpected source of pathos was how bleak and miserable the yeerks' default existence was. While we mostly experienced them from the horror of their would-be victims, people terrified and paranoid that those around them were being controlled, made prisoners in their own minds... the book where Cassie is briefly host to a yeerk and the first thing said yeerk does is, rather than focus on their agreement or advantages, start running around wildly and making use of Cassie's morphing power for the sheer wild euphoria of being able to.
As much as they are the Bad Guys in the story- invaders, body snatchers, sometimes sadists- there's something to be said about the torture of a fully sapient and intelligent being living as a nearly senseless, barely mobile creature by default. A tapeworm is perhaps lucky it cannot evaluate its existence in comparison to other life forms.
And, yeah, sure, parasites trip a particular contrarian reflex in me that I always want to root around and play with things that are seen as too icky or evil to be 'worth exploring', whether or not there's even any actual morality attached to things. Parasites do nothing on a basis of sadism- 'parasitism' is how they survive just as much as herbivory is how a rabbit survives.
It's instead on a basis of need.
And the point where we need others- especially imperfectly, reluctantly, warily, always hesitating on these dynamics of exploitation- and especially when it comes to the body which we often see as the most private bastion of the self- is where some really juicy dynamics can spring from.
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kutikuzushi · 4 months
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alhaitham x scholar!gn!reader
a/n: first post on here woo! i used to post x reader stuff about 3 years ago on here and i'm just starting to get back into it. So apologies if I'm a bit rusty...
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You had honestly forgotten how long you'd been sitting in the Akademiya’s library, in your little corner of the large, empty space, save for a few wandering scholars finishing things up.
All the words on the textbooks and scrolls you were trying to read seemed to blur together if you looked at them for over a second. No matter how many times you rubbed your eyes or blinked your eyes refused to focus. How annoying...
You hadn't even heard the footsteps walking towards you until the book in between your fingers was snatched up, snapping you from your daze. Your gaze turns up, confusion turning onto mild annoyance once your eyes laid upon the scribe in front of you... Well, you suppose he's the Acting Grand Sage right now. Though you had no clue how someone as... self-centred as him landed such a role.
"What in archons name do you want, Alhaitham?" The words rolled off your tongue a lot harsher than you anticipated, brushing the hair out of your face with your hand as you grimaced at him. Though he didn't seem to care less about your unpleasant mood.
"... Do you not know what time it is?" Alhaitham had asked with a tinge of scrutiny, a bit annoyed to see you in such a mess, it seemed. Your hair is messy and your eyes baggy and tired, huddled in the corner with a few stacks of books, almost finished.
"Like... noon...?" You guessed, though in actuality you had no clue what time it was, it was difficult to tell from inside the Academiya. Though, you could've sworn you weren't here for too long, so you couldn't be too far off.
"It's almost midnight," Well, you were wrong. You almost choked on your breath hearing Alhaitham say that so nonchalantly. You hear the man sighing as he crosses his arms, the book that he'd rudely taken from you still in hand.
"As much as I don't want to but into your personal life, you've been doing this more regularly these past weeks," He said, referring to studying yourself until you can't even think or see straight. As much as you wanted to argue, because he was being an asshole about it, you couldn't, he was right.
"... So are you here just to ridicule me?" You ask with a frown and furrowed brows, stretching out your legs on the ground to bring mobility back to them. Your whole body felt stiff and sore, had you really been sitting here for almost the whole day?
"No, I'm here to tell you to go home, you look like a mess," Alhaitham was blunt about it, as he always is, and it made you irk a little. Couldn't he try to be a little bit more nice?
"Alright, don't need to tell me twice..." You mumble in annoyance as you slowly lift yourself, holding onto the bookshelf behind you for extra stability. Your legs felt like jelly once you were standing on them, weak and unstable from lack of use for hours, sitting on top of them wouldn't have helped much either... Not to mention how tired you felt.
"You can leave now—!?" You couldn't even finish your sentence when you tripped over the small stack of books that were beside you, your foot getting caught between the books. You squeezed your eyes shut, fully expecting to fall flat on your face. Though, you notice that you didn't even hit the floor, and slowly opened your eyes.
"You're a clutz," You hear Alhaitham say to you, noticing something wrapped around your torso... his arm. He'd stopped you from falling, what a gentleman, you couldn't help but think sarcastically, "No need to suddenly act all chivalrous, Alhaitham..."
"Would you prefer I let you fall and hurt yourself?" The man asked rhetorically as he helped you stand up straight, an arm staying around you the whole time to support your weight. You couldn't help but feel warm at the close contact. God, you were touch starved.
"... Just help me walk home," You say with a sigh, not bothering to fight his logic, he was right after all. He's always right, which is what pissed you off about him. Though, at least he was helping you now... So you suppose he isn't too bad.
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cowgurrrl · 1 year
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Graceland Too
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic Ellie Williams x fem!reader)
Author’s note: okay but I kinda want to write this into a series (gif by @loregifs)
Summary: “I think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love. We are good people and we’ve suffered enough.” - Seventy Years of Sleep #4. nikka ursula aka Miller/Williams family time plus one [1.1k]
Warnings: Pregnancy talk, tooth rotting fluff, can be read as an additional part to What Sarah Said and Sweet Jane but can also be read as a stand-alone, that’s all
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"How's are the Miller's doing today?" He asks as he walks into your shared room. You're laid on your side, counting baby kicks obsessively and trying not to fall asleep. It's still the middle of the day, and your sleep is already fucked. Rest has not gotten easier as the weeks have passed, but it feels especially impossible now at thirty-four weeks. 
It's been a relatively normal pregnancy. Your morning sickness returned with a vengeance and got so bad that you had to go to the hospital to get fluids because you were throwing up so much. It's subsided a little in your second and third trimesters, but even the slightest smell can make you nauseous for the rest of the day. Poor Joel had to switch soaps three times before finding something that didn't agitate either of you. These days, you're exhausted, sore, and ready not to be pregnant anymore.
"This one," you point to your swollen stomach. "Has been kicking my ass all day. I barely got out of bed before I had to lie back down." You sigh. Joel kisses you before leaning down and kissing your belly. 
"You be nice to your mama," he says, and you laugh when the baby kicks in defiance. You grab his hand and place it where you just felt them, and he smiles when the baby kicks at him, too. "Stubborn." 
"Wonder where they get it from." You hum, and he smiles. For a while, you two lay together, feeling for tiny movements as the sun shines high in the sky. He lights up each time the baby moves against his hand, which is more than enough to tolerate the constant kicks in your ribs. He loves this baby so much already.
"You're in the home stretch now," he says. "Any last guesses on what you think it'll be?"
"I still think it's a girl. I'd be shocked if we had a boy."
"I think it's a boy." 
"Because you want a boy or because you actually think it's a boy?"
"Excuse me, I do think it's a boy, and I'd be just as happy if we had a girl," he says as he runs his hand over the hill of your belly. "You're carrying lower. My mama always used to say that was a good way to tell what someone was having."
"Alright, I'll let you have it. Ellie thinks it's a boy, too. She said she just felt it," you look down and poke at your stomach. "Whoever you end up being, can you come out soon? I'm tired."
"Couple more weeks."
"Easy for you to say."
"That's true," he says as you push the hair out of his eyes. "D'you think we're ready?" 
"I think it's a little late to ask that, cowboy," you laugh, and he rolls his eyes. "But, yes, I think we're ready." You, Ellie, and Joel spent weeks converting one of the old rooms in the house into a nursery. At first, they were fine with you helping, but as the weeks passed and you got bigger, they put their foot down. Even if you picked up an empty box or a paintbrush, Ellie would yell from the other side of the room and take it from your hands. When they painted, they barely let you in the house because they thought the fumes would harm you and the baby. You've had to remind them that you've been the one to save their asses multiple times, and you can still do things even though you're pregnant, but you might as well have been talking to a brick wall. 
Joel and Ellie built most of the nursery together— everything from the crib to the rocking chair to the space mobile hanging from the ceiling. They painted the walls a pretty yellow, making the dusty, old room fit for the newest Miller. They painted a growth chart by the door and even marked their own heights and ages in pencil on the wall. You came in when you heard them giggling, and then they insisted on marking how far your bump came out on the wall, too. You couldn't say no when they looked at you with those stupid grins and big eyes. Ellie took a polaroid of you standing in front of the chart as Joel pressed a paint-stained hand to your stomach and kissed you.
Seeing her so excited about the new baby made both of you feel so much better. She's talked nonstop about everything she wants to do with the baby pretty much since she found out you were pregnant. You were unsure how she would react since she's been your only priority for years now, and she's getting older, but she's ecstatic. She held your hair when you woke up throwing up, and Joel was on patrol. She made you soup and reminded you to take the way-too-expensive prenatal vitamins. She even learned to play lullabies on her guitar to sing to the new baby. She'd be a great mom.
"I'm so excited to meet them," Joel says softly, and you smile.
"Me too," You say. You lean in to kiss him and barely graze his lips when the baby kicks in Joel's direction. You try to ignore it and kiss him again when they do it again. They kick you hard enough that Joel feels the baby's foot against his hand, and you both laugh. "I can't believe we're getting cockblocked by a fetus."
"How do you think you got here?" Joel asks loudly, looking down at your stomach.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Ellie asks as she walks into your room, and you laugh.
"Every time I try to kiss Joel, the baby kicks at him," you say. She gives you that classic Ellie stink face, and you hold out your hand. "C'mere." You urge. She hesitates before walking over to your side of the bed. You take her hand and let her feel the baby's movements, making her smile.
"That's so weird," she says but doesn't move her hand. She lingers, having a semi-private moment with the baby as they turn and wiggle against each of their hands. They are moving back and forth between Joel and Ellie, like they can't decide who they want to hang out with, but they want to be involved. Ellie crouches down next to the bed, resting her chin on her hand, and Joel traces little patterns into the fabric of your shirt. Slowly, the baby settles down and falls asleep, their movements less crazy but still sporadic. 
Ellie and Joel come to the same conclusion but don't move. They stay there with you and the baby as the day rages on outside. Let it rage, you think. I have everything I need right here.
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tag list: @evyiione @nyotamalfoy @abbyhaslongshorts
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fandom-hoarder · 4 months
Text
Ok, so I got an ask for mutual aid. Of course, it's human to want to help someone in need, even if all you can do is reblog their post. But you also don't want to be scammed, or help spread a scam. So you look for clues, or you only reblog your mutuals' aid posts because you at least know they're *real*, or you don't reblog aid posts at all.
So, what are the tells? (I'm not an expert, this is just what I've learned through osmosis.)
Do they follow/interact with you, outside of the mutual aid request?
Is their username weirdly generic?
Does the blog look like a real tumblr user, and not just someone who made a tumblr to ask for aid? How old is it? Is it involved in any fandoms? Does it seem staged?
Does their aid ask and needs description make sense? Is it overly vague, or bogged down with unneeded details?
If you quote-search the body of their aid ask, do you get any similar hits for scams on other sites or under other names?
Does the account for donations look legit?
What do you find when you reverse image search?
So, having received an ask that sounded very much like someone whose mutual aid I would want to support if they're real, but already having two red flags from the jump (not following me and not in my notifications, weird wording and grammar on ask), I endeavored to suss them out.
Screencaps of my adventure under the cut.
Like someone else has said, please don't go harrass this blog. Even if it's a scam, at some point there's a person behind that screen.
So here's the ask.
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Red flags: they don't follow me, I don't know them, the ask is long, the grammar and punctuation are bad, word choices are odd or misspelled. These don't mean it's automatically fake, but it looks more like a weird AI than someone using google translate to communicate in English.
So I check their blog.
Their pinned post is this (click to read, it's a longass pic):
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I don't take any links yet.
I take a block of their post and check it in google; all I get are snapshots of tumblr reblogs for their aid post. I click the "buy me a coffee" link, and it looks...idk, fine I guess. There's a tumblr logo, but clicking it seems to do nothing. (I'm on mobile)
A quick search of their name on tumblr gives me 2 posts mentioning them spamming this same message to people.
I read the one with the readmore linked here
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After reading wannursyafiqah74's post about it, I got on my laptop and went back to casualdonutfire.
Mostly random reblogs; cats and other random reblogs of mostly pics, many with comments that could've/should've been tags, and no actual tags whatsoever. Like set dressing that says, "See? I'm a real person! I'm leaving comments about my reblogs that show I'm not a bot! I interact! I know what I'm I'm reblogging!"
It gives me a creepy vibe. I try google again to see if I can find their presence elsewhere on tumblr. The returns are still all snapshots of their mutual aid post. I open their archive. Ok, their tumblr has archive on...?
There are no fandom-esque posts until the very first reblog, a comment on One Piece fanart on October 18, 2023.
Their first post about needing aid was on November 7, 2023. Nearly the same wording as their pinned post, except they don't mention having a child. Zero specifics on what amount is needed for what or a timeline or anything. Not even anything about Christmas coming up. Tagged generously for trans surgery and other visibility words.
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Oh. AND. The buymeacoffee is different. Adela, not Adella.
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Then their next post for aid is fresh on January 11, 2024; nearly the same wording, except now there's a daughter and a birthday -- no date for the birthday, though, is there?!
[reblog linked here] If you go to their January 12th reblog and click on the "video proof," it's an audio-only black screen upload to imgur, with no identifying info for what's going on other than what they describe (and it doesn't really sound like what they describe; it sounds like a kid ready for christmas but not disappointed, like idk what more you're supposed to get out of it)
Then I clicked on their buymeacoffee link and noticed something. When I hovered my mouse over the tumblr symbol under their blurb, the link embedded there showed up at the bottom of my screen. And it was NOT casualdonutfire.
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It was deepeagletimetravel. And, of course, it's a nuked tumblr. Hence doing NOTHING for me on mobile.
So I went to google again!
And lo, what do I find in those lurking reblogs?
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ANOTHER MUTUAL AID POST IN EVERYONE'S REBLOGS. WITH A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSONA AND STORY. BUT THE SAME WALL OF TEXT + BAD PUNCTUATION STYLE
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Using a stock photo for their initial "bio" that seems awfully misleading when you don't say it's a stock photo.
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And with stolen/uncredited art by thetransformistress as a thank you.
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And, of course, the buymeacoffee page it linked for Ameera (buymeacoffee.com/AmeeradelzC) is blank. 👀 Totallynormal, nothing to see here.
But this makes me think. I go back to that Nov 7 casualdonutfire post, with their first buymeacoffee link to "Adela" (buymeacoffee.com/adelladomil)--
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and what do ya know, the tumblr that opens is casualdonutfire!
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So did they forget they made an adela account, and change their ameera buymeacoffee account to adella for their new post, forgetting to change the deepeagletimetravel tumblr name?! 🤷‍♀️
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vader-anakin · 9 months
Text
"Not just Ken" - Ken x Reader
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I read some cute stuff yesterday with Ken x Reader and I thought about writing something because my head was all over the place. I like to write but I'm not sure this sucks. Let me know if you like the story and I can manage to write about their story 🥹🥰
~~~~~~☆☆☆~~~~~~~~~~~~☆☆☆~~~~~~
Word count: 1.6k
You're a lawyer and you've met Ken about two months ago, but the guy - the doll - decided he would live better in Barbieland. But what if he wanted to actually live in real world and give a chance to be normal?
You were in your office finishing another appointment with a client after a rough long day of work, not enough coffee cups could make you feel less stressed and you were still going to see two more of them. As you sat in your chair you take the few free minutes you have to check your social media and texts, letting a loud sigh fill the ambiance. A knock on your door gets your attention off the mobile and you look your assistant's head getting in the office, she was a little confused and kinda annoyed, which sometimes wasn't new for you considering the amount of work you were doing during the week. Shelby cleared her throat, looked behind her and looked at you again.
- There's a weird blond man who wants to see you, he says it's important and doesn't wanna wait for another 2 hours. - She emphasized the "2 hours". Holy shit, two hours? What kind of person waits that long to talk to you and doesn't have anything else to do? You realize the weird blond man is nobody but Ken himself. Jesus, Ken, you never learn.
- Let him in, thank you Shelby. - You let a small grin as she gives space for the man-doll to enter and he looks at you like he depends on whatever he wanted to say to you, even though it makes you worried because he's always smiling and spreading joy around him.
- Hey, Ken. What is it you want? - He looked concerned, a bit stressful to say the least. He tried not to keep making eye contact for too long, and he also tries really hard to find the right words.
- I, uh.. I think I'm going back to Barbieland. - His words sounded way too long in your ears and you actually froze for a few seconds, trying to digest the news. You've spent the last two months trying to make him feel comfortable around real people, taught him how to do real people things and made him feel like he could actually give a chance living like a man, not a doll. Boy, did that hurt. And you thought after all this time together he would've enjoyed everything. He sat down on the chair and looked straight at you, a different spark in his blue eyes.
- I'm not sure I'm ready to live in this world, most of the time I like being around and doing different stuff I never did there, but it's too hard to have feelings, you know? I really cherish you, a lot to be honest, but I don't think I can be someone who has real feelings, I try too hard and I fail and it's just not good.
You sat on another chair next to him, slowly holding his cheeks with both hands, bringing him closer to you.
- You look sad, Ken. And that's a feeling, when you feel that way it means you care about other people. - You smiled and saw his lips raising a little.
- That's a feeling? But how can I tell when I have a feeling? Does it just happen? - His genuine question made your heart explode, you know how he's managed to learn all the things you wanted to teach him.
- Most of the time it does, but if it helps you can say whenever you get that. Right now, when you look at me, what is it you think?
It took 15 long seconds for him to say anything, but the way he held your hands that were still in his face you felt a different vibration in your body you couldn't explain. Ken looked down and up straight at you, blue eyes sparkling and transmitting something unusual. A few streak of hair falling in his forehead made him look like he came straight out of a magazine, the same feeling you had the very first time you met him
- I think.... I wanna kiss you, but.. - You acted out of yourself for that moment and stick your lips together as if it was the right thing to do. Obviously, he didn't react like you expected and of course he wouldn't know what a kiss was. That's why you just left your lips pressed for a while, until he realized it was something good he was feeling.
You didn't want to end it, but as soon as you opened your eyes you saw he still had his closed. You held his perfect big hand with your right hand, and with the other one you fixed his bang, leaving a trace with your thumb through his perfect jawline.
- So? - You asked, feeling a little numb, expecting him to finally open his eyes and look at you. Took him way too long to do that, but when he did he opened the biggest smile, showing all of his perfect teeth.
- That was amazing, can we do it again? - He asked, still looking like he had a shot of serotonin in his body. Ken held your hand and your face and gave you another kiss, this time he tried to open his mouth and you gave him permission, trying to find his tongue. The man let out a groan you weren't expecting and it made you tremble between your legs, but forced to stay sane because he was still someone different.
When you parted ways he kissed the back of your hand and smiled at you.
- I've never done that before, but I've watched some movies and saw people kissing all the time. How did I do?
You laughed softly and cherished his face with one of your hands, still feeling numb from the kiss.
- It was really good, Ken. But you still wanna leave, and we can't keep doing that if you're not staying. - You sighed between the words and the realization of him not being there anymore opened a hole in your heart. Never in a million years would you think feeling something for a man-doll would hurt like hell, but he made his presence more than just comfortable and wonderful.
- I don't know what to say now. I guess I wanna go back, I'm afraid I won't be a good person here. - He looked down and rubbed his face like he was starting to have all the emotions at the same time. It must be pain. He was sad when he came in, felt happy when he kissed you and now he was distressed. - Do you think I can try? I really like you, I know that. But what if I don't act like you all?
- Look, you don't have to fight against it, just take your time. What you're getting now is a mix of emotions and it means you have feelings. You know I'm always gonna be by your side if you decide to stay, but I can't choose for you.
- If you could, would you like me to stay? - He asked, looking at you like a lost puppy. Of course he would do that, even if it wasn't intentional. "In a fucking heartbeat, yes".
- I would love if you stayed. I told you before, I would always help you get through all this. - You smiled at him, giving him the comfort he needed. You were always there for him, you made him make friends with people you trusted and know would never hurt him. You made him realize real world isn't so bad, even though you prepared him to the madness and evilness that could happen along the way.
- I just don't know if I would be good enough for you. I wasn't good enough for Barbie, she didn't care about me like I cared about her. And now I understand what a feeling is, because when she turned me down I felt sad. I wrote her a song, talked about how she only saw me as a friend.
His words sounded really hurt, and you weren't sure it was a good option to make him stay and he clearly wasn't over her. It was all fucked up for you at that moment, but you just wanted to live the present, the future can wait.
- Hey, I'm not sure I told you before, but you're enough okay? You're something any woman, or even a doll, would love to have as company. If she didn't see you as a boyfriend that's too bad for her, she's losing one of the best things in that world. - You gave him a genuine hug and he tightened his grip around you. Ken let out a sigh and you realized he was definitely having his feelings all over the place and it wasn't something new, he just couldn't see through it.
- If I stay, can we make this thing work? I wanna become better. - The blond man asked in a muffled way as his face was still resting on your shoulder. - I wanna be Kenough for you.
You couldn't resist but to smile and laugh a little at the sweet pun he made. After a few seconds hugging him, you bit your lip and agreed with him. He gave you another hug, this time he made sure he wouldn't let go of you so soon and you could hear Ken say "thank you". You have no idea what's the next step as you were still lost in everything that happened in such short time. He would never hurt you, and you knew you would never hurt him either. He was willing to give a new life a chance, and you made sure you'd be there with him. Maybe you could make this work, maybe you could live in your own "Barbieland".
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electrosquash · 1 year
Note
This may sound stupid but how do I turn off blazeable on my blogs?
And how is this bad? Again, I don't wanna sound stupid or rude. Thank you for the heads up :]
Hi! No worries, you're not the only one with these questions.
On how to turn off the option to get blazed:
On desktop you can turn it off at this link: https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/#blaze It looks something like this
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On mobile it's in the account settings menu, there's a lof of screenshots in the additions to my other post like here (i haven't updated since i got a funny little bug that lets me add polls in reblogs of other people's posts so i can't screenshot anything).
Alternatively you can also log into Tumblr in your phone's browser and use the link above there. Don't forget to do it on sideblogs that you don't want to get blazed as well! You can also change the settings per-post in the post menu. I've actually enabled it for my complaint post that's circulating because it would be really funny :D
On how it is bad:
With the way it is set up, people can blaze your posts without active consent. This can be used to bully people, by digging out old or not-adapted posts that were not meant for a wider audience and putting them on blast. This can include vent posts, opinions you might have changed since then, selfies, niche things many people might think are cringe (like 2014 self-insert omegaverse fanfics and the likes ... idk if you've seen the drama that resulted from someone blazing their fic, it wasn't pretty), posts that were only meant to circulate in your carefully curated audience, and more.
Since Blaze's are registered in many minds as advertisement many people will react negatively to them so this opens up a way to bully a lot of people. As usual, people of colour, trans people, and other vulnerable groups will get the worst of it, many are already getting deactivated regularly because of coordinated reporting harassment and since people donate hate organizations all the time they will definitely use the option to make the life of a person they're targeting living hell for 10$.
Staff thought of some safeguards but there are several fallacies:
The option to cancel a blaze before it goes live: Not everyone has access to the internet every day, and staff might accept the blaze while you're asleep / at work / on a trip / in the hospital / on hiatus. Then when you're coming back to tumblr your notes will have turned into a nightmare.
The guarantee that staff will check every Blaze manually to prevent harassment: Let's take the case in which someone's old fic get blazed against their will. How can staff know whether it was blazed with friendly intent (to promote a friend's work) or ill intent (to get people to point and laugh)? They can't as long as it's not against the Terms of Service. In general there will be many false positives (Blazes that get rejected by staff despite being innocent) and false negatives (Blazes that get accepted by staff despite being malicious). After all, the people working at tumblr are only human too. But in this case, false negatives will have devastating consequences - and extinguishing a blaze after it's live will be too late.
Many people don't follow @staff, so many people don't know about this change. In fact many people on that other post commented that they didn't know what Blazes are at all! I think i've read that they will add a login banner to tell you and check your settings, but iirc they had banners like that for the original Blaze function announcement so i don't have faith this will prevent anything.
I should clarify that i don't think the feature itself is bad at all, but it should be opt-in so only people who want to participate get blazed (e.g. art blogs). Or add an active mandatory confirmation by OP instead of a veto option, this would prevent the issues above as well, i think that would be the best option - that way people could leave the option on. I know staff are currently getting bombarded with support requests / flames (please be civil to them guys!) (also sorry. but not sorry. i didn't expect my post to blow up but also i think these are legitimately troubling concerns and i won't make the other post unrebloggable). They're aware of these issues so i hope they will change to one of these options - if they add active mandatory confirmation by OP i would enable to option globally as well (Hint hint this means more money for you, @tumblr, because otherwise many people have and will turn this feature off completely) A bit more time between announcement and go-live (4/20 iirc) would have been helpful as well.
Here's the original announcement by the way:
And since i'm gonna pin the post as long as the other post is circulating: Listen to goatbed guys!
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e-dubbc11 · 8 months
Text
Anna
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Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: All the baby fluff, I don’t even think there are any swear words in this, maybe one. But this is probably one of the fluffiest fics I’ve written.
Word Count: 3k-ish
Summary: Your little girl is now a mobile toddler and so many people just adore her. Anna’s godfather, Frank, is having so much fun being a godfather but she has a favorite babysitter and her name is Shortcake.
A/N: Continuation/Side Story of The Sweetest Pain Series. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away from this series for long. Toddlers are so unpredictable and they soak up everything like a sponge so it was fun to write for an active toddler. I’d like to thank @jvanilly for suggesting the other artists keeps snacks at their stations for her visits, I thought that was adorable. And Shortcake is a character created my lovely Lily @munsonownsmyass in her fic Mark Upon Your Skin Give it a read if you haven’t yet!
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
She was still trying to get the hang of being upright, toddling around on two legs instead of crawling on all fours. Even when she wobbled and fell down, she didn’t get upset or give up. She just got right back up and started walking again, your little miss was a lot like her father in that way.
Billy never gave up or gave in either, he didn’t know the meaning of the word, and he didn’t stop until he got what he wanted. And right now, Billy Russo had everything he had ever wanted. He had a thriving business, he had opened up the other side of the studio so he could bring in more artists and added space to display his artwork.
Always booked out for months in advance, people came from all over to have Billy do their tattoos. He brought their ideas to life and when he was finished, they always left with a smile on their face.
And he finally had something that he had always wanted…a family. Growing up in the group home, Billy would see children come and go. They would get adopted or placed in foster homes but he didn’t. Couples coming in to adopt wanted young children or babies, they never gave Billy a second look so he never knew what it was like to be part of a family until he became part of Frank’s, until he became “Uncle Billy.”
As welcome as they made him feel, something was still missing but he ultimately found those missing pieces. You were one of them, you were someone who understood him, you let him talk when he wanted to, and loved him even with his faults.
He loved you more than anything.
You could see he was scared to death when you told him you were pregnant. He didn’t know anything about parenting. All he knew how to be was Junior and Lisa’s fun uncle Billy. “What do I know about being a dad? I never had one.” Those words broke your heart but you knew he’d love that baby no matter what and you would both learn together.
She was a carbon copy of her father. From her wild dark brown hair to her onyx colored eyes, she melted both of your hearts with her infectious laugh and million dollar smile that was just like Billy’s. And now that she was more mobile, you had to pay extra attention to her so she didn’t get into too much trouble.
The little miss was starting to talk more, put little sentences together too and Billy was excited that she said “da-da” before “mama.” You knew it was easier for a lot of babies to say “da-da” but you just let him have that win because he was just over the moon about it.
And she hadn’t picked up on any yet but you were willing to put money down on her Uncle Frankie teaching her some very “colorful” words sometime in the near future.
Your little girl was constantly surrounded by people who loved her. Frank was always bringing her places with the kids, Maria would watch her one day a week while you and Billy were at work, but Anna’s favorite babysitter was definitely Shortcake.
You were convinced that something happened the day she was born like Shortcake imprinted on her or something crazy like that because your little Anna Raven Russo just adored her. Anna couldn’t quite say “Shortcake” yet so she just called her “Cake.”
One of Anna’s favorite things to do was to try and scare you but she also loved for you to scare her. It was a game she played with Shortcake all the time.
“Baby, why does our child like it when you jump out and scare her? She laughs like a crazy person…watch.” Billy said, hiding behind a door and calling for her.
With a smile on your face, you watched Anna clumsily run over to where Billy was hiding and he jumped out from the dark room. She screamed and then started to laugh.
You and Billy chuckled and he said “See…she’s a little nut.”
“Again Daddy!” Anna yelled.
You just shook your head as you gazed down at her and said “Oh Shortcake plays that game with her. That’s one of the things they like to do with each other is ‘play scared.’”
The day Anna was born, she didn’t have many visitors because she was born in the middle of a snowstorm. Her own father almost missed her birth because of it but aside from Billy’s other employees, the other two people that were there the day she was born were Frank and Shortcake.
It was very hard to tear that baby away from her arms so Frank could hold her, there was just something so special about their relationship from day one and it had blossomed into the sweetest little friendship.
Anna loved visiting Billy at the tattoo studio and even though she obviously couldn’t read what it said, she knew the logo when she saw it. “Daddy…work.”
Firmly planted on your hip, she pointed at the Anvil logo on the window and a wide smile stretched across her face. Excited that she was going to see her other “friends” today, she started impatiently kicking her feet and gently bouncing against your side in anticipation.
Everyone looked up as you opened the door, every single person had a smile on their face as you put the little miss down so she could go say hi to everyone. Her first stop was always her father.
She saw Billy standing behind the counter and she took off running as fast her little legs would let her, he scooped her up in his arms and blew a raspberry on her cheek. Anna let out a high pitched squeal like she did every time Billy did that to her, she loved it.
“And how’s my pretty girl today?” Billy asked.
Anna pointed at you. “Mommy…pretty.” She said.
You let out a little chuckle.
Billy gazed at you like he hadn’t seen you in a week. “Yes, mommy is very pretty…she’s beautiful.” He said with a wink, giving you butterflies in your stomach.
Frank walked in off of the back deck. “Is my goddaughter here?!! Come here, sweetheart.” He said as he squatted down with his arms outstretched.
“Down…Daddy.” She said to Billy.
Billy kissed her on the forehead. “Down daddy, PLEASE.” He said.
Her deep brown eyes, her father’s eyes, looked him over before she said “Peeease!”
Billy set her on the floor and her little legs took her right to Frank. He picked her up and started to “bite” at her neck and she grabbed his nose. “Ow! You got my nose!” He said jokingly with Anna laughing.
“Well to be fair, it is a large target Frankie. Of course she would grab your nose.” Billy said with everyone else getting a good laugh at that one.
You stared intently as big Raven played with little Raven, he had the biggest smile on his face while he played with her and tickled her. Obviously, Frank loved his children but he told you he does sometimes miss when they were babies and he did miss out on a lot of time when they were small because he was deployed so he was really enjoying being Anna’s godfather.
She then toddled around to everyone’s work station, smiling as she waved and said hi to the other artists in the shop that day. They always had snacks and stickers for her, doting on her the entire time she was visiting.
After Anna made the rounds and extorted all of the snacks out of everyone, she ran back over to you. “Up…mommy!” She said with her arms extended over her head.
Tilting your head to the side as you looked down at her, you said. “Up mommy, PLEASE.”
“Up peeeease, mommy!” She said.
You and Billy were doing your best to try and raise a polite human being.
When you picked her up, she turned her hand up toward the ceiling so you knew she was trying to ask you a question and it was adorable. “Cake…mommy?”
“Awwww, Shortcake isn’t here today baby girl.” You said to her.
Anna looked a little disappointed.
“You’ll see her in a couple days. She’s coming to babysit you while Mommy and Daddy go out on a date.” Billy said to her in that soothing voice of his.
Bouncing her on your hip, you smiled at her and asked “Ok?”
Nodding her head and pursing her lips, she said “Ok.”
**********
A couple of days later, while playing with Anna in the living room, you heard a knock at the door. She looked up from her blocks and a smile pulled at the corners of her mouth, stretching all the way across her face.
She knew who was at the door.
“Who’s here, Anna? Let’s go see!” You said excitedly.
“Cake…Mommy!” She yelled.
You shrugged your shoulders. “I dunno, we gotta open the door.”
As soon as the door opened, Anna ran toward Shortcake who was holding a gift bag.
“Anna!! My little bird, I’ve got something for you.” She said.
Shortcake was ALWAYS bringing Anna presents…dinosaur stuffed animals, books, tiny hoodies. And today wasn’t any different as she followed Shortcake over to the couch to open the bag. Anna threw the tissue paper on the floor and pulled out a pair of Converse sneakers, just like the ones Shortcake had on.
“Now we have the same shoes!” She said.
You just sat back and watched Anna pick up one of the sneakers to show you.
“Look, mommy!” She said.
“I see them, baby. Do you like them?” You asked her.
“On…peeeeease.” Said Anna.
“I guess that’s a yes. What do you say?” You asked.
Anna looked up at Shortcake through her long dark lashes and said “taaaank you.”
Billy walked out from the bedroom. “What did you spoil my child with now, Shortcake?” He asked, walking over to you and pulling you flush with his chest.
You always felt so safe in his arms even from the very first time he hugged you. The way he held you tight and gave you that extra squeeze, you knew Billy was the one for you.
He tilted your chin up so you were looking into his eyes, he smiled and leaned down to kiss you. Things were very different now that you had a child but you still made time for each other to go out on “dates.” You were lucky enough to have so many people willing to babysit while you and Billy went out and spent alone time together.
“She bought Anna her first pair of Chuck Taylor’s. Aren’t they adorable?” You said.
He smiled as he watched Shortcake put the shoes on Anna’s feet. “That is really cute. You ready to go, beautiful?” He asked.
You explained to Shortcake that Anna had a nice long nap earlier and she was probably growing again because she was sleeping so much. You left dinner for them both and told them to have fun which you didn’t really need to tell her because they always had fun.
“Ok well you two go out and enjoy yourselves, she’s in good hands.” Said Shortcake.
You and Billy told Anna that you would see her later and to be good for Shortcake.
“Bye Mommy, bye Daddy.”
Billy narrowed his eyes at Anna, then turned to look at you. “Is she kicking us out?” He asked.
“I think she is.” You replied.
The two of you waved goodbye and headed out for dinner.
When you were halfway through with dinner, your phone started buzzing. It was Shortcake.
Your skin immediately pricked with goosebumps with worry, wondering if anything was wrong.
“Hey Shortcake, what’s up? Everything ok?” You asked.
There was a slight pause, everything was quiet for a minute before she answered.
“Uh, yeah…well, I think I know why the little bird has been sleeping a lot lately. After you left she kind of developed a little bit of a fever. She did eat and I gave her a cool bath. Her temperature went down a little but she does have a little bit of congestion so I gave her some Tylenol, and put the humidifier on in her room when I put her to bed.” She said.
“Wow…look at you go. We’ll finish up dinner and come home so you can—“
She interrupted you. “No, no…please stay out. I’m ok with her here, she’s sleeping, she’s fine. Enjoy alone time with each other for a while longer…please?”
You and Billy weren’t the type of parents to freak out over every little sniffle, kids get sick, that’s what they do. You didn’t know if Shortcake ever had to deal with a sick baby before but it sounded like she was a pro at it.
“Are you sure? We really can come home if you want us to, just so you don’t catch her cold.” You said.
“I want you guys to stay out, it really is ok.” She said. “I won’t take no for an answer.”
“Ok, ok. We’ll see you in a little while then. Bye.”
And you hung up.
Billy touched your hand. “Everything ok, sweet girl?” He asked.
You told him everything Shortcake told you.
“Wow, sounds like she’s got everything under control.” He said.
“Our little girl is a tough one, not letting anyone know she’s sick. She’s tough like her dad.” You said leaning across the table to plant a soft kiss on his lips.
His tongue darted out to slowly lick his bottom lip, and tasting the red wine on your lips he replied “And like her mom.”
And he kissed you again.
**********
When you arrived home, Shortcake was having some tea and watching tv.
“Thank you for taking care of her tonight. Just, really and truly thank you, not only for taking care of her but for giving us some needed time with each other.”
Billy leaned over and kissed your temple.
You touched her hand, looked at her and said, “And I think you’re gonna make a really great mom someday.”
Shortcake brushed a tear away from her cheek and smiled. “Thank you.” And she leaned in to give you a hug.
You and Shortcake weren’t always so close. When she first started at the shop, you thought she wanted Billy but it was just a misunderstanding and you quickly moved forward.
It’s a huge deal to trust someone enough to take care of your child but there was no question that Shortcake loved Anna and Anna loved her in return.
“I do have to show you guys something, well two things. The first one is on my phone here…hang on.” She said.
Pulling out her phone, she clicked on a video she took of Anna.
“Anna…little bird…tell mommy and daddy the new word you learned. What’s this on my arm right here?” She asked.
Anna pointed to Shortcake’s arm. “Tattoooooo!”
You and Billy started to laugh.
“And what’s the second thing?” Billy asked.
She motioned for the two of you to walk with her to Anna’s room.
Peering into her crib, you and Billy glanced down to see your little Raven asleep but also clutching her new sneakers tightly to her chest.
“She wanted to wear them to bed so we had to compromise. I figured since they’re brand new, it would be ok.” Said Shortcake. “It’s ok, right?” She asked with an unsure tone to her voice.
“Of course it’s alright. I’m sure you really had to fight her on not wearing them to bed, didn’t you. She’s stubborn, like her father.” You said with a sly smile on your face.
Billy narrowed his eyes at you and then a smile broke out across his face because he couldn’t keep a straight face as he said “I have no idea what you’re talking about, sweet girl…hey Shortcake, you think you can convince Matt to have one of these? Look at how cute she is, huh?” He joked in a whisper.
Even in the dim light of Anna’s room, you could see Shortcake blush and shy away from the two of you in embarrassment.
Elbowing Billy in the stomach, you playfully scolded him. “Don’t embarrass her, Billy.”
Quietly, the three of you tip toed out of Anna’s room. Billy had something he wanted to ask Shortcake and earlier at dinner he asked if it sounded like a good idea. You told him it sounded perfect.
“Shortcake, I wanted to ask you something and you can say no if you want but I was wondering if you could do a tattoo on me for Anna? Since I fired Andy for looking at my wife’s ass too much, he’s definitely not doing it. But I think that just means that maybe you were meant to do it anyway. I want her name and a raven next to it, if you’re up for it.”
Shortcake was practically speechless. Nervously, she stumbled a little over her words when she answered Billy’s question.
“Billy…I really don’t know what to say. To trust me with such an important piece, having to do with your daughter. I—I would love to do that for you.” She replied, her eyes shined with unshed tears.
Snaking your arms around Billy’s waist, his hands held you tightly against him and he moved his hands up and down along your spine causing goosebumps to dance across your skin, and you could feel him relax.
He felt very content.
“Good, thank you. We can talk more about it on Monday.” He said.
On her way out, Shortcake pulled both of you in for a hug. “Thank you both. Little bird is just so special and I—I just love her to death.” She said.
You smiled warmly at her and replied. “And she loves you. Thank you again for tonight.”
Shortcake turned back to look at you and Billy after walking out the door and said with a smile.
“Anytime.”
Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705
Others that may enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend
If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.
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pumpk1n-writes · 1 year
Text
Tell Me All About The Dark Places You Hide ~ Part Seven
➥ in which the reader figures out that their best friends are the infamous Woodsboro Killers and decides to help them rather than turn them in. {ft. Beth in depth murder scene; stalking; satanism (if you squint); very murder; I had been watching criminal minds (very warning); killing people; seriously if this stuff makes you uncomfortable please don’t read}
Part Six | Part Eight || Word Count ~ 810 words
Taglist ~ @wasawattpadkid @katie-tibo @laurajmcmanus @sparklyphantom @minkyungseokie @misscaller06 @juda-the-simp @severuslovebot @adorlia @billysbae @lilac-fangirl @bloody-delusion-expert @rubyroscoe1 @honeynicoole @ok-boke
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You directed both boys to sit on the couch in front of you under the threat of your knife. You laughed in response to Billy’s murderous glare. “Give me any one person to kill to show you how much I want into this thing. You can even be there if you want.”
Stu didn’t hesitate. “Mason Smith.”
Your best friend. Who also happened to have the biggest, fattest crush on you that anyone thought possible.
You shrugged. “He was a trophy anyway. When do you want me to do it?”
Billy was taken aback by how quickly you were able to turn on the ones you claimed to love. Stu, however, was loving it. Maybe he’d finally found someone as messed up in the head as he was. But there was no way to know for sure you weren’t all bark no bite, even though he’d felt your bite firsthand. “Tonight.”
You shrugged again, you were so. . . Chill about this whole thing and it scared him. “As Ghostface or myself?”
“Ghostface, in case you fail and he calls it in I don’t want to get dragged down with you.”
Your eyes flashed angrily before settling on him with a cold stare. “I won’t fail.”
***
Darkness crowded in on you with each passing minute, seeming to leer down on you as you crept through your soon to be ex best friend’s yard. You knew you’d be the prime suspect after this, but you didn’t have any relation to the other victims so you hoped it would be enough to stop them from sniffing up your trail. Your alibi was already figured out. You were helping tutor Billy and Stu for their chemistry classes, and then you fell asleep on Stu’s couch.
Stopping a few feet from his window, crouched in the bushes, you gave Billy the signal to call him. You heard the phone go off in his house, and saw him eagerly jump up to get it, most likely thinking it was you. The tiniest twinge of guilt wriggled its way into your stomach. But it was quickly squashed by the excitement of what was to come.
You heard Mason yelling at Billy. So they’d gotten to the part in the script where you got threatened. Perfect.
“I don’t want to play a fucking game, you psychopath!” You heard. You resisted the urge to peek over the windowsill. If you did that and he happened to see you, your whole jig was up. “Uh,” panic was written in your boyfriend’s voice. “I don’t know! His name was James, or Jacob, or something!”
You could almost feel Billy’s disgusted chuckle and his leering ‘incorrect’. If only your best friend agreed to watch more horror movies with you.
You slipped through the unlocked back door. Unlocked for you. You pushed the tiny voice out of your head and continued until you were behind him. The Ghostface costume was scratchy and uncomfortable, but whoever designed it was a genius, because you still had quite a bit of mobility, even if your visibility was severely lacking.
You tapped his shoulder with the knife, and when he turned around you pulled the mask off and smiled at him with as much sweetness as you could muster up.
“Hello darling.”
He went to ask you what this was all about, still not believing that anything about this was real. He never got to finish the question before you slipped the mask back on and sunk your knife into his throat.
After that you were quick to get to work.
Just as you’d promised Billy a few nights ago, you took Mason’s blood and painted the walls with satanic symbols, writing some random words in Latin on the ground. You only remember a few from your classes three years ago, but Latin combined with the symbols on the walls, all in blood at a murder scene, would probably still throw the police off your track.
The other part of your “how to commit a murder spiel” had been making it as gory as possible, but Mason was already dead. So you slowly and carefully carved down his stomach, smiling at the blood rushing out. You cut his fingers off and scattered them around the kitchen, then washed your hands in his sink.
The very last part, the one to truly throw the police off your scent, was to completely wash the Ghostface mask so there wasn’t any fingerprints or DNA, and leave it next the the body. It was far more brutal than the other murders, and so they would feel an overwhelming urgency to solve this before it got more violent.
And in the process question all the satanists at your school who’d be happy to take the blame for these killings.
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dawg, lemme tell you somethin, I LOVE your writing style so far and I want more SO BAD !! I’ve been stuck by myself in the “I’ve been an arcana fan since release but now it’s like dead” hole, so I’ve been absolutely starving for content. Your headcanons are such a great length and so descriptive, each one feels like I’m reading a whole fanfiction, and it’s a real treat. I cant wait for more !! 🥺🥺 If I ever get around to scribbling some stories based on your thoughts, I am tagged u on SIGHT.
I’ve never requested headcanons before but what about m6 with an mc who walks with a cane?
The Arcana HCs: M6 with an MC who walks with a cane
~ thank you for the positive feedback @taduki ! I'm so happy when I find out my ramblings bring people joy. I have a few friends who use canes regularly, but I don't have any personal experience. I'm basing this off of the little bit of research I did and the experiences I've heard about, so if I make any mistakes please let me know so I can correct them ~
Julian
He thinks it's hot
He's a doctor, he's familiar with mobility aids and the many reasons someone may need/want to use one
Dude literally had three years of experience as an apprentice under Nazali in active warzones amputating limbs
He's the type of guy who loves learning new things, so once you're comfortable going into detail about your condition to him he will have so many questions
And then he's going to go do research about it
And then he's going to come back with even more questions
But mostly he just thinks it's hot, canes just have so much dramatic potential
Can you keep a sword in it? Can you use it like a club? You would make such a good pirate with him
Once you explain that it's actually easier to use if it's lightweight and easy to store he'll stop suggesting modifications
But if you have it with you while you're out and you don't feel like using it he'll keep it hooked over his arm or clenched in his fist because deep down he's a theatre kid
Asra
However much they knew about mobility aids before the Red Plague, they learned everything they could after you woke up
He's so tuned in to you he can tell at a glance what kind of day you're having and will act accordingly
When they were reteaching you magic some of the first spells they taught you were what they remembered you using to help with your disability
He has definitely enchanted your cane before, mostly with your permission
One of the useful ones was a shrinking/growing rune so you could keep it in your pocket
Less useful was when one of your customers made a rude comment about you not moving as fast as they wanted you to around the shop
So they enchanted it to trip them on sight
He forgot to tell you, you didn't find out until the rude customer came back on a day you weren't using it and you watched your cane fly across the room to thwack them across the shins
They're not allowed to touch your cane without your permission anymore
Nadia
The evening she first arrived in your shop you weren't using it so she didn't notice it until you arrived at the palace the next evening
When she realized she had been getting annoyed at you for being late, only to see you walk in with a mobility aid, she felt awful
It was also a wake up call realizing how many stairs you had to climb just to get to the front doors of the palace
She doesn't want to pry or burden you, but she's also deeply committed to providing for your every need, and there's a day or two of her waffling back and forth between pumping you for information and pretending there's nothing unusual afoot
Once you open up about it she's very invested
Every outfit she gifts you comes with a high quality cane, beautifully painted to match
After everything's done with the Devil and she's reworking Vesuvia's infrastructure she is definitely taking accessibility into account
She's not going to burden you with her education or assume you're an archetype, but she makes sure you know that your input is more than welcome on any and all of her plans
Muriel
That trip with Morga was hell on your body
You spent weeks riding and walking for hours with minimal rest, trying to learn physical self-defense tactics at the same time
He may be gruff but he's not cruel, he was offering to carry your bags (or you) by the third day in
Seeing how patient you were with both Morga and yourself was one of the things that convinced him to open up to you and trust you
He prefers speaking with actions more than words
One of the first gifts he gave you was a beautifully crafted cane, lightweight and incredibly durable, with the story of your journey together carved into it
He also customized it to work with you perfectly, because he knows better than anyone what a body in discomfort moves like and he's memorized all of your tells
When you move into his hut with him he makes trails through the woods for you so you don't have to worry about uneven ground or roots or loose stones
He is also very happy to carry you around if you ask him to (he will blush the whole time though)
Portia
It's cannon that the first time you meet she out walks you across Vesuvia
It takes her a little while to adjust her assumptions
Not because she thinks badly of anyone who uses a mobility aid, but because it's her job to be on her feet all day long and the concept of having difficulty doing that is totally new to her
There are definitely a few moments when she bounds up the stairs two at a time, only to wait awkwardly at the top silently berating herself for not paying closer attention
The first time she matches her pace to yours on a slower day for you her whole worldview shifts
Being the type to power-walk everywhere, this is the first time she's been able to notice all these beautiful details around her
Was that painting always there? The fabric on those curtains is gorgeous!
Now it's one of her favorite things about who she becomes around you
She will (and does) throw hands with anyone who makes a disparaging comment about you moving too slowly
Pepi tried to jump up onto your cane once when it was propped up against a table and made the biggest crash when she fell
Lucio
Ooh, nice accessory, he's got one too!
It should be shinier though. Don't worry, he'll fix that for you as soon as he's no longer an incorporeal goatman
He has no filter between his brain and his mouth, he is bombarding you with questions. Why do you use it? Were you in a particularly nasty fight?
For once he's not being remotely judgemental (except about the fashion sense involved), dude has an entire missing limb
Sometimes he'll reminisce about what it was like before he got the alchemical prosthetic he has now, and will ask you if you have any ideas for your cane
He is very happy to carry things for you and often suggests you use his golden arm to lean on instead
He says it's more fashionable this way, but really it's a point of common ground for him and he likes having you close and being dependable
If you let him he will absolutely buy a pair of matching canes for the two of you, yours to help you move around and his to make grand sweeping gestures with
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 5 months
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good evening sex witch!
once upon a time i think i remember seeing you talk about asexual folks who are into kink, either in passing or because someone else asked? i can't find the ask anymore but also i'm on mobile which is famously difficult for tumblr searches. so.
i've been IDing as (and quite comfortable in) what i thought was sex repulsed asexuality for several years. lately i've started wondering if maybe that reservation was rooted in an expectation of "conventional" sex and how much i can't stand mouth action, which - thanks to you in part - i have been reminded there's totally other ways to sex that don't involve mouth acts, etc etc... long story short i have probably had some secret kinks for a while and am just realising now that that's what they are. (this isn't particularly necessary information, but it's more of a grand revelation than i thought it would be and it's not something i can tell any of my friends.)
anyway, while i'm still in this state of tentative figuring things out re. what Sex could mean to me in the future, would you happen to know of any good books/articles/readings regarding asexuality & the kink scene? i think i've heard somewhere about participation without sex, which intrigues me somewhat, but i'll take pretty much anything i can get. information gathering and all of that. if you're willing to share!
(i really appreciate all you do with your sex adventures. i've been following you for a long time and have learned a lot about my body, sex culture, and also the general strength of communication and boundary setting. so. thanks!)
hi anon,
you may have a good time exploring the back catalogs of Evie Lupine, Morgan Thorn, and PupAmp (cohost of Watts The Safeword) who are all youtubers who talk about kink and are on the ace spectrum!
in general, any halfway competent resource on BDSM should be perfectly applicable to you as an asexual person. kink is all about deconstructing expectations around intimacy and building it back up to be a highly personal experience with all the stuff you like and none of the stuff you don't; there are tons of people, ace and otherwise, who are doing kink in ways that have nothing to do with sex. as always, you can do whatever you want forever. if you want to watch other people have sex or get flogged or get used as a chair because you enjoy that in a way that may or may not be sexual, that's completely fine and there's probably a thriving community of people who would love to play that out with you. tl;dr: do whatever you want forever.
(source: my asexual wife and our asexual housemate, who are freaks.)
if you have two hours to kill, Evie Lupine talks a lot about how asexuality fits into the kink scene on this episode of the Ace Couple:
youtube
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blackholemojis · 29 days
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u have made posts telling about your aac you use... would u b willing to share images of how you have it set up and maybe give tips for people working on making their own aac?
I would love to but I think it may give away my anonymity, since I like to share pictures of my different pages. I can share some details and organizing tips though! This isn't anything comprehensive, I think I'd need to spend a lot more time on that, but hopefully this is helpful for someone. For context, I use TD Snap Lite :)
I'll include a list of different word categories at the bottom under the cut, so if you're looking for types of words to focus on, you can skip to there!
Organization part 1
I keep all my commonly used words and folders for other words on my quickfires page, starting with basic communication words (yes/no, who/what/where, etc) and folders (conversation phrases, short responses, nouns, verbs, etc).
Then I have commonly used descriptors, connector words, actions, and nouns. All these are broad words like "thing" or "person," "and" or "because," and "go" and "fix." Even if I didn't have a button for a specific concept, I would still be able to describe it, like "the thing that is mine."
I organize the different buttons in rows on the same page, and try to group similar words together, that way I can find them easily.
I started with buttons for different bADLs (basic activities of daily living), which are bathing, dressing, grooming/hygiene, eating, toileting, and transferring/movement. Then I went to activities that I do every day, like studying, doing housework, or watching TV.
The idea is that I would be able to get through a whole day and be able to describe what I want, what I need, my activities, and what I don't want or need (the ability to say no is important, even for little things!)
Organization part 2
What words I have is important, but so is how I make sure I can find them easily. With TD Snap you can give buttons custom colors and custom border colors, so I use those to organize types of words, and types within those types (so verbs versus nouns, and then people-nouns versus object-nouns)
I also put the most commonly used words towards the right side of the screen, since I'm right handed and that means they'll be easiest to access.
I try to use pastels so I can read the labels, and I edit the text size of all buttons so I can see the symbol and label well. With descriptors, I try to group similar ones together, and group ones that have "opposites" either right next to each other or one above the other (words like up and down, or inside and outside).
Finding gaps
The easiest way for me to figure out what buttons I'm missing is by using my AAC when I'm near full spoons and can think about language well, like now. That way I know what I'm missing, and I can make a button and organize it in the moment without it taking much energy. Usually I'm missing different categories of words, like colors, or words to describe time.
Here's a bunch of word categories under the cut, starting with "essentials" and then moving on to common non-essentials! Feel free to ask me to include any other ideas
BADLs
Bathing (shower, bath, sponge bath, and related words you use for bathing)
Dressing (getting dressed, getting undressed, picking out clothes, words for different types of clothes)
Grooming/hygiene (brushing teeth, flossing teeth, brushing/combing hair, trimming hair, dyeing hair, cleaning piercings, washing face, shaving, makeup)
Eating/drinking (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, meal, types of food you eat, spoon, fork, knife, chopstick, bowl, plate, mug, water, warm beverages, napkins, and any other words you use for eating/drinking)
Toileting (bathroom, stall, toilet, sink, washing hands, soap, toilet paper, menstrual products, changing toileting equipment, and any other words)
Transferring/Movement (any mobility aids you use, transferring to/from mobility aids, terms for your aids, walk, run, jog. I included transportation words like "drive" and "car" in my section for this, but that's not necessary)
Essential communication
Yes (and variations)
No (and variations)
Maybe
Something else
I don't know
I need
I don't need
I want
I don't want
options for basic needs, so you can say "I need" and "use the bathroom" (eating, drinking, sleeping, waking, showering/bathing, using the bathroom, dental care, hair care, getting dressed, getting undressed, changing menstrual products, changing medical equipment, and transferring to/from mobility aids)
I consent
I do not consent
I revoke consent
Leave
Stay
Help
Fringe vocabulary for everyday activities and emergencies
Emergency words/phrases (I need a doctor, etc)
Personal info (name, age, etc)
Disability/mental health/medical terms that apply to you
Parts of the body
Types of injury/medical issues
Places you go
People you live with
People you interact with often
Pets names
Neighbors names
Carer or staff name(s)
Important belongings and things you use every day
Everyday hobbies (bike, watch show, etc)
Everyday to-do list activities (do laundry, shower, etc)
Action words (things one can do)
Common nouns (persons, places, things, and ideas)
Connector words (and, to, since, etc)
Feelings (positive, neutral, and negative)
Descriptor words
Colors
Direction
Size
Shape
Days of the week
Months
Seasons
Numbers
Describing amount (some, many, a little, few, all, none)
Describing time (then, now, before, after)
Temperature
Weather
Difficulty
Age
Texture
Personal opinion descriptors (nasty, beautiful, boring)
20 notes · View notes