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#if im not successful at something or am not being productive i feel bad about myself lol!!
chryblossomjjk · 1 year
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I seek academic validation so the idea of not getting straight A's makes my skin crawl. When I learned that at my university a 92.9% equals to 3.67 instead of your typical 4.0 I panicked. I went to a community college in the past and did not realize how different the grading system could be. I am going fulltime next year in a health related program for two years and I am nervous about it since it is in the same university.
Those professors should not exist, like would 0.9 or 0.4 kill them??!! I know I am going to encounter this and I wish us the best of luck 💜. As a reminder to the both us, we tried and did what we could!
Of course the practice couple sits next to each other, they are in luv and who wouldn't be with JK next to them.
Sorry for the ramble!
oh healthcare is difficult but if you push through, you'll have such a bright future with a fulfilling and lucrative career! wishing you all the best sweetheart, you deserve it! <3
something that helped me was doing like half in person and half online courses! unfortunately, my current college will not allow financial aid if u do that lol, but if you're able to and worried about time management, i would definitely suggest it! you got this friend!
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i-love-your-light · 6 months
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too many thoughts on the new hbomberguy video not to put them anywhere so:
with every app trying to turn into the clock app these days by feeding you endless short form content, *how many* pieces of misinformation does the average person consume day to day?? thinking a lot about how tons of people on social media go largely unquestioned about the information they provide just because they speak confidently into the camera. if you're scrolling through hundreds of pieces of content a day, how many are you realistically going to have the time and will to check? i think there's an unfortunate subconscious bias in liberal and leftist spaces that misinformation is something that is done only by the right, but it's a bipartisan issue babey. everybody's got their own agendas, even if they're on "your side". *insert you are not immune to propaganda garfield meme*
and speaking of fact checking, can't help but think about how much the current state of search engines Sucks So Bad right now. not that this excuses ANY of the misinformation at all, but i think it provides further context as to why these things become so prevalent in creators who become quick-turnaround-content-farms and cut corners when it comes to researching. when i was in high school and learning how to research and cite sources, google was a whole different landscape that was relatively easy to navigate. nowadays a search might give you an ad, a fake news article, somebody's random blog, a quora question, and another ad before actually giving you a relevant verifiable source. i was googling a question about 1920s technology the other day (for a fanfiction im writing lmao) and the VERY FIRST RESULT google gave me was some random fifth grader's school assignment on the topic???? like?????? WHAT????? it just makes it even harder for people to fact-check misinformation too.
going off the point of cutting corners when it comes to creating content, i can't help but think about capitalism's looming influence over all of this too. again, not as an excuse at all but just as further environmental context (because i really believe the takeaway shouldn't be "wow look how bad this one individual guy is" but rather "wow this is one specific example of a much larger systemic issue that is more pervasive than we realize"). a natural consequence of the inhumanity of capitalism is that people feel as if they have to step on or over eachother to get to 'the top'. if everybody is on this individualistic american dream race to success, everyone else around you just looks like collateral. of course then you're going to take shortcuts, and you're going to swindle labor and intellectual property from others, because your primary motivation is accruing capital (financial or social) over ethics or actual labor.
i've been thinking about this in relation to AI as well, and the notion that some people want to Be Artists without Doing Art. they want to Have Done Art but not labor through the process. to present something shiny to the world and benefit off of it. they don't want to go through the actual process of creating, they just want a product. Easy money. Winning the game of capitalism.
i can't even fully fault this mentality- as someone who has been struggling making barely minimum wage from art in one of the most expensive cities in america for the past two years, i can't say that i haven't been tempted on really difficult occasions to act in ways that would be morally bad but would give me a reprieve from the constant stress cycle of "how am i going to pay for my own survival for another month". the difference is i don't give in to those impulses.
tl;dr i hope that people realize that instead of this just being a time to dogpile on one guy (or a few people), that it's actually about a larger systemic problem, and the perfect breeding grounds society has created for this kind of behavior to largely go unchecked!!!
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solaariia · 11 days
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omg i forgot that here i said my first post when i returned would be my shifting success story!! i got too excited checking out other posts i forgot to write it.
so here it is :) it’s gonna be a little ramble.
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the day i made that post, i woke up from a shift.
i’m not crazy i promise. but from that day on i am convinced i shifted to a parallel reality.
so the night before, i set the intention that i would shift when i opened my eyes. i visualized a little and then went to sleep affirming that “i woke up in my desired reality.”
the next day, i woke up without an alarm; not in my hsr reality. naturally, i was super disappointed and in a very bad mood, but didn’t go back to sleep because i had a social psych test. i even marked it on my calendar, and spoke with my classmates on the group chat about it the night before—so i did remember i had the test.
i ate breakfast and studied like normally. it didn’t feel like a dream or anything, it was just a normal day. yet before i left my apartment something compelled me to check my email to see if the professor said anything, because that day the only class i had was that one.
people… she sent an email when i woke up saying something like (not verbatim): “remember the test on monday. there is no class today because i want you all to study.”
i was convinced that i had that test on friday 19. i had it marked on my notion too, but when i went to check, it said the test was on monday. not friday.
to corroborate, i checked the class group chat and it said nothing about it either; when i clearly sent a text the night before and got many replies.
i remembered that i had scripted that if i shifted, something would be clearly different. sort of like the matrix? my stuff would look the same except i would have yellow curtains, or two chargers. etc.
since i found nothing like that, i chalked it up to just me being delulu. i was stressed and probably got the date wrong. and i had woken up early, so i decided to take my ass to the library to be productive and got in my car.
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ignore how dirty my desk is lmao, but this hello kitty was one of the hanging ornaments in my car. THIS HELLO KITTY WAS NOT WHITE.
I AM NOT CRAZY i clearly remembered the hello kitty in my car was black with a white outline and a red bow. i had to take it off my rear view to show my neighbor (she practically lives in my car) and she said it had always been white and pink. so yeah, i think i had my proof that i had shifted(?
that’s why i made that post too. to kinda process things. i still don’t know what happened, but that glitch in the matrix still sticks out to me.
to this day, my friends from that class still tell me the test was never on friday. so idk what to think.
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i probably went to bed stressed about my test, and that’s why i shifted to another reality that wasn’t my HSR DR.
on a good note, my confidence rose exponentially that day too. so now i feel like i know that shifting realities is as easy as thinking :)
nevertheless, i still haven’t shifted to my HSR DR, idk why :( but if this post can help people see shifting as something possible, then it will make me very happy.
love you all! im happy to see all of your posts on my dash again. 🩷
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munamania · 4 months
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ok um i am going to vent on something as someone with an outside perspective and people are going to be normal about that right. okay lol. im sick of hearing about taylor swift <3 as compared to a few years ago even she is like... suffocating. and i feel like we never advance this conversation because on one hand we have people who swing into full misogyny when talking about her, and on the other we have people who won't admit that she blatantly uses feminism to deflect from her problematic behaviors, or at least they won't like, do anything about it, and in this way she sort of ends up misleading a lot of young girls into like. girlboss liberal white feminism. im not saying shes a supervillain for it but you can't deny the ramifications of what she does and doesn't speak up about, just given the absolutely massive platform she has. she is the biggest pop star in the world
for the record, i don't expect taylor to be like. a normal person. she was very famous from a very young age and people aren't normal about teen/adolescent stars, especially when they're girls and women. she had her personal drama aired out in front of the world, had so much misogynistic dialogue surrounding her, from demeaning her success to interrogating her dating life (and never holding the pedos who preyed on her at a young age to any sort of standard!) and for many years people weren't very critical of that. it was normalized to be trashing this young girl's name and saying vile shit about her to like the entire nation and i dont blame her for being like, a little off after that. and yeah i also don’t think we should look to celebrities as our end all be all of activism and opinions on sociopolitical issues
but we've gone full swing into like. she is so famous and so big that her actions can be harmful and she does these things anyway because she doesn't expect her fanbase to hold her accountable, lest they be acting like the very sexists who tried to ruin her career. at least i imagine that's what the thought process is like, at least at some level, but at this point it's just like. this woman makes so much money. so much money it's ridiculous. idk how y'all fathomed paying so much for concert tickets but like i'll give props that they at least seemed to have some insane production/theatrics... so like alright. there's that.
but she is reselling the same songs. sometimes that don't sound that good. and making more money off that. yes yes to 'officially own them' and whatever. and releasing vault tracks and other versions of albums with different songs on them. but never all the same bc u need to collect them all. and the thing is some of them are like kinda bad. but you listen to them anyway because we live in a time of overconsumption/consumerism in late capitalism and it's like trendy and fun to be able to tell what song of hers is playing in the first millisecond. sorry or just your personal attachment to her. and don't say it's embarrassing to be a taylor swift fan these days she's like. so huge. and some of you equate embarrassment with having to hear criticism toward her. which might not be as common if swifties idk stepped it up and actually expected something from her?
which i guess is getting me to my main point here. can you imagine like. what would happen if taylor swift actually said anything about palestine? or anything of value in the world right now? no one's asking her to be a fucking scholar on it but genuinely sorry there’s like a genocide. several. the most documented real time genocide of our time i don’t care if it makes you upset that people expect something from her. she is time's person of the year. she has everyone from young girls to lesbians to gay men to bored football wives to dads to well fucking etc you get the point tuned in. she has dabbled in so many different spaces done so many collaborations aligned herself with so many entities who can keep up? if she, as massive as she is right now, posted something as simple as 'free palestine' or called for a ceasefire, can you imagine what would happen? i can’t help but think about it when day in and day out my feed is filled with screaming people being pulled from rubble or having their limbs amputated.
but she won't, because, quite frankly, what does she have to gain from it? she’s teaming up with the nfl right now to make some more money, she's gotta have at least like 4 new albums recorded in the last two years and at least um what three more that you're expecting? and she doesn't even have to like? write new music really? (edit: oh boy!) why the fuck would she be doing anything with her time other than poisoning the planet with jet fuel to visit her pr boyfriend?
taylor swift is never gonna be punk or what the hell ever beyond like a white liberal-at-best moderate woman. but if any of you could talk to each other and talk about, like, organizing in ways that it would be impossible for her to continue to ignore these situations, and just keep playing her tour FILM (how could i forget) in israel and etc, like if you could flood her socials or do a mass movement (and it would be massive given the sheer amount of peoples' top artists she's in) of not listening/buying/interacting with her stuff, until her agents and whatever had to make some sort of statement? like that's the only chance we've got with her
i'm not saying don’t be her fan, or listen to her music, or have an attachment, etc, but she's been around enough vile, anti-feminist, racist things this past year that y'all DO need to hold her accountable. like way more than you do. or it's going to be like really difficult to. tolerate it. haha. like you SHOULD be vocally and loudly disapproving of her actions when it causes a lot of damage overall. speaking up about her insane climate irresponsibility when we're having the hottest years on record is not the same as the people who felt the need to like pick apart her dating life on the news. but can we talk about how she's officially like. circled back and now is purposefully making news about her dating life? for her personal gain and that of the fucking nfl? lol. in a way it is funny for her to ‘take that power back’ in a way, of her image, and i think that’s how some people might view it, but like on the other hand she obviously is gaining a lot from this. you know. a lot of actual money. she is going to profit off this image of her being misunderstood etc for as long as u guys allow it and well i just think that has run its course. yk
continuing into 2024 (edit: and now with the release of a new album!) i don't want to see swifties automatically exonerating themselves from difficult conversations because like they feel like their fave has faced enough unwarranted criticism. or bc other people should also be criticized. much of it is warranted! and you guys need to grow up and be able to talk about it and stop painting taylor swift's face as like the Pinnacle of feminism. she doesn't and shouldn't have to be, and she isn't, and she should in fact be held accountable when she does really fucking shitty things on account of they're shitty! i don't care that she's a woman! it's like that meme of oh yay a woman democrat sent these missiles. oh yay a woman is massively damaging the planet and proudly dated a violent misogynistic racist, and faced minimum criticism for these things over and over because your only comeback is ‘well what about’ if a man did the same thing, etc, you refuse to just look at the situation we do have. yes we should. we should do that we should hold men accountable but you can also like not accept awful fucking behavior from your faves when you have a chance. do you think that’s helping feminism genuinely. use your voice use your power (your money) to like. do something for once. i cannot keep living in the taylor swift echo chamber.
and for the record. i like enjoyed taylor like back when i was a young girl and she had a few songs on the radio, and i honestly even had a moment where i used guys' opinions on her as a first step to navigate who i felt safe around in a very hypermasculine sexist college space. because yes. some people do need feminism 101 and some people's genuinely misogynistic rage will be demonstrated in their hatred of taylor and her success. but at some point we gotta move on from that. if some people will look at the most powerful woman in the world, who has enough money to stay away from them and an extremely massive loyal fanbase watching and supporting her every move - if some men take out their hatred on her, a powerful white woman, how do you think they view and treat women who are not white, thin, "conventionally"/eurocentrically attractive, or accessible to cis/het audiences?
anyway i hope that i can bring a conversation to the swiftieverse cause i honestly believe u guys could have comparable impact to like. bts stans. maybe. if you put your minds together for a good cause. and we don’t have to do the oppression olympics or whataboutisms or WHATEVER for forever. can we please move the conversation forward does anyone else feel insane with like where we’re at
on that note, i really do think now is the perfect moment for you to disrupt shit with your voices and demand better from her. it might not save the world, but it could make a huge difference in changing peoples' minds
okay um. thanks 👍
tldr i can’t do another year of swiftie discourse i just can’t please if there is a god out there help us
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immortal-lov3r · 3 months
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sophies glow up guide.. (simple)
this has been a work in progress for over 2 weeks! ive been procrastinating to get this done, so im excited to share this with you! DISCLAIMER i am not professionalised in this! i am only giving out advice on whats worked for me.
want to glow up? but dont know where to start? well here is your simple glow up guide, we will go over-
health
hygiene
skincare
attitude and mindset
this will be your basic glow up guide, simple and easy to read and follow with.
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health and nutrition:
your health is one of the most important things in your life! It affects your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. that's why it's so important to be productive about your health and try to prevent illness and disease etc.
fitness:
im not going to deep within this as your fitness levels are based on personal experience and i recommend to consult a doctor before doing an extreme amount of exercise.
rather than aiming 10k steps as people ask you too, start aiming for 5k, its obtainable for a busy person or someone who doesn't walk as much, overall walking is very beneficial.
if you have ability join a sport, dance and or gym! they keep you healthy and fit and can be super fun!
try a simple workout, pilates, dance, yoga biking, running etc, there are lots of youtube videos and even apps for workouts.
if you can walk places, as i said its very beneficial for your health and keeps your in shape.
nutrition:
I'm not going to go super deep into this, as no diet fits everyone and please consult with your doctor before taking dieting or anything like that seriously.
slowing start eating healthy, you can still eat your cravings and have yummy meals just try to balance out your diet with healthy foods, good fats, carbohydrates, protein, sugar and bad fats.
eat less sugar. sugar has many reasons why its bad for you to have over your daily intake so try to eat less sugars while still eating your fav treats!
dont skip breakfast! i know people saying doing omad (one meals a day) is good for you and skipping breakfast can befit weight lose, but no, breakfast is one of the most important meals so use it for high protein and fibre meals .
eat more friut and veg, simple as that.
hygiene:
hygiene is so important because it is what keeps you clean and healthy. hygiene should be one of your top priorities for your day. hygiene effects how people think of you, what you think for yourself etc.
brush your teeth well! brushing your teeth well keeps your breathe smelling good, clean teeth.
wash your body- washing your body with soap and or body wash and sometimes even a nice body butter can keep you clean and smelling good.
look after your skin- find out your skin type and get a cleanser for your skin type. find out if silicon based or water based is better for you skin.
skincare:
skincare is such a hard thing to ace! here is a simple routine and tips for you to ace your skincare. skincare is meant to help cleanse your skin and leave your skin feeling amazing.
routines:
cleanse - take a few minutes to cleanse your skin, even a simple micellar water will get rid of will get rid of makeup and dirt.
toner - toning is a great thing to use to help refresh skin especially if it includes ingredients like witch hazel which helps tightens pores.
serum- a plain hydration serum or some hyloronic acid etc will be enough to keep your skin looking going through your day
moisturiser- this is what keeps your skin moisturised for the day or can give you breakouts so be careful you pick the right one for your skin type look out for ingredients like Vitamin E, glycerin, Pro-Vitamin B5, and borage Seed Oil, which are all great moisturisers for your skin. 
attitude and mindset:
mindset:
believing that you can grow, change, and improve is the best mindset to have, if you settle once you've done something and never try to accomplish greater you will have little success in life.
goal-setting mindset.
knowing what you want and willing yourself to reach it are two different things. when you know your goals, they motivate you. set high goals and don't stop until you reach them.
focused mindset.
one of the worst setbacks that can happen is losing focus and allowing procrastination to happen. discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.
positive mindset.
choosing to be positive and having a good attitude will determine a lot about your life. be positive, not passive. instead of giving yourself reasons why you can't or shouldn't, give yourself reasons why you can and should go for it.
attitude:
positive attitude
a positive attitude is more than just smiling often and acting cheerful when others are around. it’s a way of looking at the world with optimism and hopefulness, where others would only see obstacles and dead ends. 
be kind to yourself
work on self improvement
step back and focus on goals
spend time with nature
talk to other people / meet new people
act with a purpose
be around positive people
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thank you for reading this far! <3 i hope you enjoyed.!
i am always open to suggestions for my posts, my dms are open <3
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beautifulpersonpeach · 10 months
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BPP, am really really interested to read your thoughts on Seven!
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Ask 2: Hey bpp, can i be honest?? Ive been checked out of the fandom but still keep track of any music releases. So i didnt know abt any rumors abt 7. Imagine me being kind of disappointed that it’s another english song from jk when i watched the mv😅 it feels like his most promoted songs since last year has been all eng song… idk i wanted & expted something diff… i didnt like l&r, dreamers and now 7… it’s back to back lol. Tbf i didnt like My You too and thats in korean. At least not enough to listen!again after the first listen.
Im happy that still with you is finally on spotify tho. I’ll still be waiting excited for his album whenever it comes out. Hopefully ill find something i like in it!!
**
[BPP Note: Both asks above were sent before my "I don't like it..." post. The asks posted below were sent afterwards.]
**
Ask 3:
Same here
All the hype didn't matched with the song
1. rest members songs had so much depth and substance to it while this was the cliche boy chasing a girl song. Like we always dont need deep songs but the quality could be so much better. This was like just another pop song.
I think I'll put this on same level as BAD DECISIONS. But for bad decisions, atleast the chorus was staying on my mind while for this nothing was catchy enough for us to humm. Just because it's JK it will get hype but otherwise it's so generic. I think I liked LEFT and RIGHT way better than Seven. Even the rap portion felt so unnecessary and boring.
2. MV was kinda nice because of the production but concept was too shallow, the stalking and chasing was so outdated. In my country we have like 9293928843837 MVs in this same concept that not many make the same theme songs again.
3. The choreography. We haven't seen the full version. But for tiktok they do the highlight portions if that's so mediocre idk how rest will be. It was again giving the same mediocre showing off choreography and for me backdancers ruined it with their awkward moves.
4. they wanted this song to be played everywhere around the world. But there was nothing catchy enough to attract gp or go viral on tiktok, even if we sped it up. The only way to make everyone listen is to shove it down their throat but doing payola. But idk if investing in payola is worthy for the song. I also doubt the longietivity, as for me it was boring after 2 listens. I'll rather listen Like Crazy or wildflower or closer 20 times than listening this once.
5. I HOPE he'll bring something fresh to the table for his album and don't involve this mediocre producers who uses the same formula and same superstar persona to make a song successful. He is so much talented to sing a song which is so rich in melody and lyrics. And he can produce way better songs by himself.
Prolly a 4/10 for me
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Ask 4: troye sivan's rush (which also came out last night) is exactly what I wish Seven was. I don't mean that in a 'I expect the things JK to make to be gay' way just in the way it's a fun, very danceable, sexy summer song that doesn't pull its punches. Something about seven feels too run through a commercial sanitizer a few times, even with the explicit lyrics.
***
Hi Anon(s),
Jungkook likes to fuck.
Rather, Andrew Watt likes to fuck and thinks Jungkook can relate.
JK has been talking about wanting to show more mature and explicit sides of himself for a good long while now. So I’m glad he’s finally gotten to do that, confirming for us why he keeps getting noise complaints from his neighbours since the mattresses all over his apartment don't help.
BTS has made songs explicitly referring to sex before (though it's been mostly the rapline doing so). So it's nothing new but I guess it's cool JK gets to share with us that he too has sex.
The question I posed to my friends immediately after watching the MV is, “Do you know who's been doing A&R for BigHit since 2020? I really need to know who is doing A&R for BigHit in America because they’ve been doing an appalling job lately. I'm starting to wonder if it's an inside job cause this song is kinda ass.”
That was me ~11 hours ago.
I didn’t like the song.
I’ve streamed Seven about 20 times since then I think, took a break from the song for a few hours, watched his GMA performance, caught a few minutes of the Wlive, then listened to it again just before writing this post and…
I still don’t like it.
Jungkook did a good job on the song, Latto's verse wasn't terrible, and while the song itself isn’t bad… the song isn’t good either.
It’s painfully, and at this point it’s a pattern so I have to add, predictably, mediocre.
Reserving judgement for the album, but Anons, I agree with you for the most part. The suits at BigHit are trying but they are woefully out of touch with the reasons BTS blew up in the West in the first place. I don't even feel like spending any energy doing a review or even trying to explain what I mean. So I'll just ramble on for a bit but try to keep it brief.
---
I have to give BigHit some credit because I can see what they're going for here. Andrew Watt is a very celebrated producer in the US, he won the Grammy award for Producer of the Year in 2021, he's got A listers in his portfolio. So, he's not a cheap name to book and I can see why the suits at BigHit thought he's the genius to gift them a song clinically designed for American radio.
But that pandejo phoned it in. There isn't a lick of creativity to be found anywhere in all 3 minutes and five seconds.
It reminds me of VIBE by Jimin and Taeyang, as the closest analog to the vague dissatisfaction morphing into annoyance and then pragmatic rationalization I experienced in that same sequence when listening to it the first few times.
The song is disappointing because we've all heard it before. Too many times, and we're bored of it. We've heard JK sing this sort of song for years, as covers mostly. So on one hand, while I guess it's nice JK gets to have an American summer JB-reject pop tune of his own, it's not good enough to be the track that introduces him to the world as a solo artist.
It's fine for any white, blonde, blue-eyed heartthrob that can ride on a pretty face and implicit bias to rack up accolades, it's not good enough for Jungkook.
And BigHit needs to start using whatever leverage a US$10.6 billion market capitalization buys you in Hollywood, to insist for songs that are at least as good as the songs made by BTS members and produced by their in-house team. It's a waste of money and everybody's time to fly a battalion to LA just to record 2014's summer hit in 2023.
In my opinion.
Still With You > Stay Alive > My Time > Stay > Left & Right > My You > Dreamers > Seven
*
All that said, I can't ignore JK has a taste for songs like this, and it's not his fault the song is shit (he didn't write, compose or produce it), so technically he shouldn't be punished for it. And the song is made for radio, while it's not my personal taste a lot of people really like the song (one of my friends likes Seven the most out of all the BTS releases so far), and it will catch on with some support. So, ARMY will support it including me, just to a lesser degree than I've done so far. Fingers crossed JJK1 has something solid on it.
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adventuresinanarchy · 11 months
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unordinary trio headcanons !!
some of these r kind of a stretch! also there's so much isen im so sorry im in love with him
isen
i hc isen to be bi with no preference
i also am in between on him being amab or afab. i see him using they/he either way tho
he's a demiboy
he's vv closeted
but remi knows
he has a (younger) twin sister and another younger (half) sister
he's found himself being in charge a lot & messing up at home, which is why he's so against taking big responsibilities (like when he becomes jack)
they have severe anxiety
and also undiagnosed adhd
he's good at keeping secrets but if anyone were to simply ask them about one he'd be like really bad at deflecting it
he had a really good relationship with his father until it was noticed that younger half sister was a product of an affair so then his parents got divorced and isen lost contact
his stepdad is nice but isen doesn't find themselves to be as close to him as their siblings are and it makes him a lil upset
he's still really family oriented even though he kind of resents his mom for the whole affair
they work a job as a janitor at night so his siblings can have some spare money
his mom is chronically ill
oh oh and his twin sister goes to a school outside of wellston because she's rlly smart
isen's not vv open about his family, he'll only mention them if remi says something about rei first or if blyke talks about his mom
i love blysen sm but i do think isen would've had a crush on remi before
he's dated a lot of people
including cecile for a week
cecile broke it off
as you can see none of the relationships really lasted
speaking of how i love blysen – he's had a crush on blyke for a really long time but hasn't realized it's a crush
isen & his twin went on this hair dye adventure once hence the hair
i saw someone say he tried to bleach his hair and it came out orange and i firmly agree
naturally black hair i will die on this hill
while isen had a hair oopsie, their sister was successful and has blonde highlights
(i do have names for his siblings but they're not very creative (twin is isabella & half-sister is irene))
secretly a swiftie
blyke
ok enough isen now blyke
i like the idea of bigender or genderfluid blyke
any pronouns but they do get a bit irritated when people stick to just he/him
pansexual
he has sooo many piercings like so so so many
they're the middle child
she spends a lot of time with her uncle
they have a cat and shes the cutest cat ever (i need a name)
i think blemi is really cute tbh (not a headcanon im just rambling atp)
i feel like blyke would listen to weezer
she looooves funky earrings and other cool jewelry
has a bunch of scars from childhood adventures and is insecure about them
allergic to grass
had a black stripe in his hair during middle school to be cool and edgy
had a diary of a wimpy kid phase
and a dork diaries one
im running out here
remi
remi my fav girlboss <3
omni w/ a preference for girls
she/they, demigirl
her dream toy growing up was a barbie motorcycle
she and rei made a lemonade stand in order to raise money for a barbie motorcycle
rei thought they were getting an actual. barbie themed motorcycle
they made their own lemonade and it tasted like shit
they made a whole eight dollars
remi really wants a pet snake but their mom is scared of snakes
she thinks eyeliner is really cool but she's really bad at it
sometimes she'll ask sera to do her makeup for her
remi's dad is a chef who loves the movie ratatouille /hj
rei calls her a rat
her bedroom at home has a shaggy carpet because i said so
and she has soo many posters on her walls
once she dyed the ends of her hair purple with kool-aid
she has lots n lots of freckles
she had a crush on elaine during her first year & that was her first girl crush
sometimes she goes on random smoothie bowl crazes
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vyladromeave · 11 months
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If MCD gets turned into a book I am almost certain the autism ghosts will possess me again and I’ll have to making a 5 hour long rant with a conspiracy style string chart on my wall
GOD mcd as a book genuinely makes me both so excited and terrified at the same time. I've had this ask sitting in my inbox for like a day now because idk entirely how to voice all the opinions i have about this. AT THE VERY LEAST: It's cool that Jess hasn't forgotten entirely about MCD, and while it sounds like the plans to continue myst are more clear/doable (its the same format she's always done, all it takes is for her to write a conclusion she feels satisfied with. which is definitely a large feat but it feels more in-reach than expanding on mcd right now), its cool that theres still an interest for MCD as well.
SORRY THIS POST IS ABOUT TO GET LONG TURNS OUT IM VERY MENTALLY ILL ABOUT THIS SERIES WHO COULDVE GUESSED. SORRY. HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO ESCAPE PLEASE TAKE IT NOW.
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CONTINUING: MCD continuation sounds like it is not in reach right now, and not entirely a priority either. It's not even in pre-production yet, it sounds like she hasn't even decided on a format to release it as, which means relatively zero work has gone into making that yet. (Beyond the guideline that has already been written for it in the form of the existing MCD story that we know and are familiar with.) We don't even know if it would be a book!! JESS doesn't even know if it would be a book!! I don't know how I'd feel about it if it WAS a book! She's been vocal about wanting something akin to an anime or animated series before iirc (though i dont remember the source for this so correct me if im wrong), so it could be that thats still something she wants to pursue with and getting a whole animated show at a good quality is hard! I don't know!!! Nobody knows!!!! (And I don't know if she's ever even produced anything aside from Youtube Video Storytelling/RP series. Sure she has a very successful toy line, but that's not really a writing/storytelling medium. And I guess there's the music videos, but those are... um......... bad........ And we know she's no stranger to fanfic, thanks to the fucklist if nothing else, but i've literally never SEEN her writing go towards something that wasnt a Minecraft Youtube Video. On this note, if anyone is familiar with work Jess/the team has done for something that ISNT the medium of things she posts to her youtube channel, please send it my way I'd be very interested in checking it out.)
I think I'm glad that at the very least, it wont be produced in the same style as her modern rps (the style used for mcds3 + modern mystreet content + Rebirth too actually...) because I really don't enjoy that style... to me a big part of MCD honestly is the fact that things are for the most part kept in Aphmau's POV of things, something they ditch alot in modern rp content. But switching that format to something else might not lend to telling it the same way. Which is scary to me!! (honestly I personally think mcd would function really well as a first person visual novel or something along those lines. but if anything, that might require more writing than a book would, since there'd be choices and paths...) And obviously ppl HAVE attempted things similar to retelling mcd as a book before, there might be more MCD rewrites out there than MCD fanfics at this point tbh im not blind. But there's still the difficulty of being able to tell that story well in a medium it was not originally produced in/arguably meant for.
There's also the point of: I don't really Like a lot of the more recent choices Jess has made with MCD's story somewhat recently. The stuff with Irene in Mystreet just feels like a mess, I don't like the idea of the two having crossover. And while Rebirth for the most part was pretty good, there are still some things I have gripes with, mostly with how Aphmau is presented as a character and agency problems she's had since all the way back in mcd s2. There's a very real possibility that I just wont enjoy MCD as the way Jess wants to tell it now. And thats like fine, obviously, but it is also a little disheartening.
and then there's the point of: still knowing that i probably won't like how it ends, WE WILL LIKELY GET AN ACTUAL END. can you imagine that. MCD with an ending. a canon ending. I doubt it would be in the first installment of whatever MCD gets published as (if it gets published at all), seeing as even in Rebirth jess was planning on it having 2 seasons, but still. Even if I don't like the ending, the idea that there will BE ONE OUT THERE for me to bounce off of is incredible to me.
when it comes down to it: i honestly don't have much hopes of MCD ever being officially finished in any capacity. I hate to be a downer about it so soon after news that Should be Good. But the fact that she doesn't even know what MEDIUM she wants it to be in is not a good sign. If it Will ever be officially published in some form, it's likely it won't be for a very very long time. Not like mcd fans are strangers to waiting, but still. As a professional MCD Waiter, I would not be surprised if we are left waiting forever. It happened with original mcd, it happened with rebirth, i do not doubt it will continue happening for a very long time. I'm scared to get my hopes up for a finished story of any kind, because it's never approached Finished before. Its very hard for me to get excited over something I know will likely be abandoned, possibly before it's even been started.
but yeah if we get mcd book ill read it probably. ya know. whatever or something. <guy who is trying not to look like he cares about this a lot
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blueskittlesart · 1 year
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In defense of the original, while I do agree the episodic vibes were a bit much at times, and it was something I kinda had to work my way through slowly rather than binging all in one...
I do kinda prefer the more gradual approach to laying out the information; getting to know both the setting and who Vash is as a person and the different facets of both, before getting the context that lets it all click into place. Plus the main quartet having ample time to grow together so that later developments have stronger emotional weight.
I will agree that Knives definitely suffered in focus, and I am interested in how Stampede handles him, but admittedly he wasn't really what I watched Trigun for in the first place. ^^;
yeah my gripe is less with the way the setting and characters were handled and more with the way the. actual plot was handled. it honest to god felt to me like they realized about halfway through their run that they didnt have enough episodes left to get the backstory in in a cohesive way so they just shoved it all into one episode and pretended that that explanation didn't create more questions than it answered. you spend 20 episodes teasing your audience like "ooooh what is vash?? clearly hes not human!! clearly there's something going on!!! don't you want to know whats going on?? keep watching and you'll totally understand whats going on!!" and then your big reveal is that. He Is Not Human. which is something that any idiot who has watched the last 20 episodes has already figured out. the question the audience ACTUALLY has at that point in the runtime is what, EXACTLY, is vash, and what the context is behind the conflict he and knives are in. the backstory episode explains that Knives Is Here, and it gives context to the setting and everything, but it pissed me off that it STILL didn't answer the actual mysteries i cared about, i.e. vash's real identity and the thing with the gun and his fucking arm and knives's motivations and everything. maybe that gets answered in the last episode that i neglected to watch but personally I prefer a story where i UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON by the time the final confrontation hits. with trigun it got to a point where vash was going out for the final battle with knives and i STILL didn't know who vash was, who knives was, where they came from, or what the hell their motivations were. that just made that final confrontation seem so wholly uninteresting to me that i didn't even feel like watching it. it was like "hey look vash is fighting a cardboard cutout that he is Afraid Of. Why? lmao idk man. probably has something to do with that weird spaceship that shows up in one whole episode before this point. not going to tell you how tho." I think some writers have this tendency to think that mystery = good writing and that not revealing anything to your audience will consistently draw them in for more, but that only works for so long. after 20 episodes of virtually net 0 information it got to feel like I was being strung along and like my questions were never going to be answered, so I gave up on the show in the final hour. Again, i'm not saying it was BAD necessarily and i understand the context in terms of writing and production that led to the show being produced that way but i think it really noticeably suffers due to the fact that it refuses to give the audience ANYTHING but crumbs of information for about 80% of it's runtime. that being said. i did genuinely like a lot of it. it has its moments. im not trying to discourage anyone from watching it or anything lol i just think stampede is a little more successful in keeping the viewer engaged in the story throughout by constantly feeding you bits of information and actually answering your questions as they become plot-relevant.
#asks#wow hi. trigun essay intermission sorry everyone#this same thing applies to virtually every villain in the show. nick. zazzie. the guy with the blue hair whose name i dont even remember.#you get like. the barest snippets of information about them. you know theyre working for knives somehow#you know that they've been somehow modified? and that their titles identify them as relating to knives#in nick's case you know that his whole thing has something to do with the orphanage and the priesthood#but beyond that you get... nothing. and you're expected to just speculate?? figure it out somehow???#nick especially pissed me off bc it got to a point where he was DEAD and i still didn't understand what the fuck his deal was#despite him being a supporting character for almost the entirety of the show. he still got only like half an episode dedicated to explainin#his backstory and motivations and EVERYTHING. and then he DIED#and like. to be fair. i think the lack of explanation worked in some places. it worked decently with vash#but it worked with vash BECAUSE vash is pretty much an open book as a character. you can easily tell what he's thinking and feeling#and it's not hard to extrapolate things about him from what you see. his pacifism. the fact that he's not human. his past trauma etc etc#you can get a good portion of that just by watching him throughout the show#but i think that only works BECAUSE he shows so much of himself. for a character like nick who is deliberately closed off#and NEVER shows his true self expecting the audience to be able to understand & empathize with him based solely on what he projects#just doesn't work. because it's made clear to the audience from the getgo that nick is not the person he claims he is#and that he takes steps to never show too much of himself. so when his backstory shows up randomly in one episode#and then he immediately dies. it leaves you kinda like. okay. what the hell was that. who was that guy anyway#you know???#ok rant over fr
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donnerpartyofone · 9 months
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ok not to make big assumptions about you because we are strangers but i genuinely think your brain works a lot like mine, but i am the exact opposite of you i did terribly at school because i hated authority and mindless memorizing - hear me out - and got by on my intuitive understanding of stuff. But in the same way that you do i cannot understand anything that someone else tries to explain to me for the love of god i am the most unteachable person on earth. People have tried SO HARD teachers and tutors and everything but if i do not understand something myself there is not one person one earth smart enough to get me to do that. Im also really academically successful & ive gotten prizes for my creative essays, but i think the difference is that i hated *hated* authority so bad that the anger drove me to reject "mindless memorizing" as something even worth doing at all ever & only ever followed my curiosity & interests in things (the sense of excitement you described). It takes time but ultimately the degree of understanding obtained is much deeper & more satisfying than the kind generally demonstrated by people who understand what is explained to them in school settings. Im assuming a lot here & keep in mind that im just some rando but i would like to suggest that you try just following your inner curiosity & stop deffering to other people when it comes to how to understand something. Do not look for teachers, just information that you find exciting, & see the people who "get it" not as teachers who are superior to you but as your equals who just happen to have been doing it for longer. People you can talk to & who just have information you can glean. Most of all abandon conscious efforts to do school stuff. Resist impulses to be a good student & learn facts by heart or whatever. You'll remember things if they're important. Do what feels good and excites that inner curiosity you feel and don't think about grades or results or people's opinions but just the joy of understanding for your own pleasure. You can and will understand math and quantum physics if it feels good to do so, I promise you.
i really appreciate you and i have so many different reactions to this, i want to try them out. one thing that i believe really deeply is that teachers and similar authorities are very reliant on the idea that there is a correlation between following the rules, and maturity and intelligence, when the very opposite is obviously true. the reality is that kids who try things out for themselves, who determine for themselves through experience whether a rule is fair or rational or productive, and who are not afraid to be judged by others in the course of their experimentation--those kids are certainly demonstrating a lot of maturity and intelligence. i mean yes of course there are kids who don't do the work or follow the rules for less admirable reasons, but the idea that obedience and conformity are symptoms of a well-developed mind is just an oppressive myth that is especially convenient for people who work with children. and like of course i judge myself for not having those rebellious qualities like ever, but it's complicated, i was suicidally depressed as a small child and very afraid of being in trouble or disappointing people, and i honestly think that one of the reasons i got so good at memorizing things and generally operating by rote is that it turned out to be an excellent survival mechanism for navigating the world of adults.
i also believe in the direct correlation between pleasure and aptitude. i mean i'm sure there are exceptions, like you might get really great at a job you hate if your very survival depends on keeping the job or performing it safely, but in general i think you get good at what you enjoy, and that cultivating whatever forms of joy you experience can ultimately enhance your powers. but i don't believe that it necessarily WILL. i certainly know people who are bad at and/or not smart about things they love, they just don't let their shortcomings stop them from doing whatever the thing is (and therefore they lead richer lives even if they're not accomplishing anything in the traditional sense). i think i'm more in that category. all the stories i told happened to be about school probably because i'm hung up on JUDGMENT or not being competitively good at anything, but the unspoken reality is that i'm a pretty self-directed person. i tend to approach things that i care about hobbyistically, in order to pursue whatever thrill got me interested in the first place, and SOMEtimes this leads to some cool outcomes, though not always. there's a lot of different kinds of things that i love, conceptually, and i go through all the steps of learning about them, practicing them, researching them, getting advice from other people, or even having somebody else do the thing with me when all else fails, but i just cannot seem to develop any competence these things. i think i've had all the opportunity in the world to grow in different areas, but i'm just a very limited, low potential person.
anyway i hope this doesn't come off like i'm trying to convince You Personally of something, you've already been completely fair about how you're just speculating and speaking from what rationally seems like similar experiences. i do appreciate what you're trying to say here and i know that there is truth to it in general. i'm just now using this message as a prompt to work out some of the other things i think about this general topic. the one thing i guess i have going for me, although it's a double-edged sword, is that i don't quit at things. part of this is for a not-good reason, i came up in this environment where the law was that if you are perceived as "negative" or defeatist or something, then you're basically a bad person and you're not worth dealing with and any misfortune that happens to you is your own fault. and then it's like, if you fail or just don't excel at something, then THAT is a symptom of the aforementioned Bad Person problems. like in that world, if you don't succeed, it necessarily means that you didn't even try, which is a fake idea and the subject of one of my favorite social media posts of all time. but anyway, even with this bad motivation for soldiering on, i do sometimes enjoy the benefits of persistence, one of which is just the sustaining belief that maybe something good will happen later on. even though i think i've had enough negative experiences trying to do something with myself that it would be rational of me to just stop trying, the stubborn inner belief that "anything is possible" keeps me getting out of bed every morning. even if i'm not getting anywhere, at least that makes me a less burdensome person.
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week one
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week one of i don't even know. i just want to write.
the week started with a two-day fast; a cleansing of my stomach as i thought she was swollen. my binge eating disorder is slowly taking more and more control over me; before bed snacks of oatmeal and dried tart cherries, empanadas, eggs with hot sauce, and multiple oatmeal raisin cookies. i then wake up with a stomach almost triple its normal size. to make me feel better i pretend im pregnant. i give her a name, and i tell myself to be strong for her. i then kill her with three laxatives, three digestive enzymes, and three pills of apple cider vinegar - making my stomach feel cold, shitting her out the next day. i told myself that monday would be the last binge. i relapsed both thursday and friday this week. we will try again tomorrow, saturday, and i will win and loose weight and regain control. guilt and regret isn't productive. im too focused on getting better, to spend an unreasobale amount of time umination on how much of a shit person i am. its the only option. tomorrow starts the goal of daily exersize, besides being at work. i am delaring my success now.
family came to visit this week, from Monday morning to Thursday morning. family i havent seen in almost 4 years. family i haven't talked to in 5. family that my mom resented, even till the day she died. i wonder if those feeling have changed.
one thing my mom taught me, was that change is work but growing is work too. if you want to grow with someone, and make something out of the relationship you have with eachother, you need to not only be able to be vulerable and talk about hard and uncomfotable things. you have to be willing to change: for yourself ALWAYS for yourself, grow for others, change for you. i need to change for myself, be more vulerable with myself, and work through hard things - not numb myself with drugs and sex. not distract myself with work. no more waiting for tomorrow. i’m changing today, im changed right now and i am going to act as if i already have. oprah taught me that life is filled with good and bad. the two can't exist without eachother. the perfect pair, the most effortless way of being perfect pair.
i’m realizing that this is life; periods of good and bad. maybe this is just that bad part, the part that is needed to give me perspective understanding. as much as dealing with what i’m dealing with has been extremely isolating and exhausting, it’s offered me perspective, depth. i know things that people who’d through hard things only know. i wake up with a different sense of awareness and go to bed that much more full. im holding onto the idea that the good part will be coming later, hopefully soon. i’m the one who decided what’s next.
that’s what’s stressed me out the most this week; thinking about what’s next. i need my mom; not only to help me get over her passing, but to help guide me. to give a sense of belief in myself. selfishly, if i needed a boost of ego, i could ask stupid questions and fish my mom. most of the time i just have to stalk her facebook to remember who the fuck i am. also reminder that i’m HER daughter, and that is more worth than i need. i taking pleasure in the study of how similar our faces resemble our blood relation. looking at photos of her at my age now, making me giddy at the naive thought of us being twins. hoping that this innate obsession of our mother daughter friendship warrants our existence in our past lives, with promise for reunion in the next one. oh, please wait for me!
i keep picturing myself, interviewing with Oprah talking about the hit release of my first-ever book; the motivations behind it, and hopes for the future. how i create my art for me and only, being completely selfish with it. however, throughout this interview, i have no idea what the book it is that i wrote. that’s my goal; to write a book. but i have to start with the idea. let’s make that the goal for next week.
the more you lead with love the more love will follow.
the mantra of the week, the thing i keep telling myself to overcome any anger i have toward anyone - to be at peace with maybe just meeting you at wherever the fuck your at - and not taking anything personal. protecting my peace and not giving u the power of my anger.
however, i avoided my family as they visited; refusing to cause confrontation as my filter is broken and needs constant fixing, charging. and since my mom died - that filter has been gathering dust in the corner. i simply don't give a fuck. and i felt that in my bones, the pure social sphere of having a stranger in my house only 3 weeks after my mother died, loosens my tounge and hungers my asshole to begin to eat my underwear. acting on emotion rather than logic, and avoidance is my way of still digesting these angry and tense emotions. fiercely defending till the end. i dont fuck with sweeping things underneath the rug.
so how did i stay away, and avoid? i spent my time working, and when i wasn't working i was attempting english homework, that i have still yet to finish. Saturday, i keep telling myself, Saturday is when I finish. i'll keep you updated. since i haven't finished, i was procrastiating my time, putting it elsewere; filling three hefty trash bags full of colored clothing - only to be replaced will an all black wardrobe with few white, grey and navy accents. i want to feel chic again. i want to feel myself again. i wonder what i'll wear tomorrow.
i spent my day off deep cleaning, and getting my eyebrows done which also are installing small pulses of i don’t give ANY fucks energy throughout my face and walk. my eyebrows are bushy but clean, and i am unstoppable.
today at work, i decided to wear an oversized dad sweater, that houses a mid-size picture of a beautiful garden; greenery with accents of white birdhouses and benches as characters in the scene. it made me feel a sense of humidity, a strange feeling which motivated me to support the 99c purchase. the oversized dad sweater that housed a photo of a humid garden accessorised with two nods of praise; one from a boy who i can only describe as the purest man of florida; small calfs followed by the thunderous suprise of thick thighs - a solid lap to sit on. his legs were dressed with mid thigh athetic shorts, making his thighs appear hairless and even more thick than expected. because of small his calfs looked. he wore a plan black t shirt, allowing his pecks to make an indentation to were the shirt falls. his feet were exposed - something common in florida, something every proud floridian embraces; the ability to be walking almost barefoot. something that i rarely do, almost never, even at the beach - as my feet may not be ugly but crave the dressing of an 80's chucky socks followed by a chunky sneaker. his feet were dressed in a clean, almost new looking of black unrecogonizable sldies. clean enough to be expesniive looking, but plain enough to be bought at the dollar store. a physical representation of things that cost money don't always mean they are better. "sometimes things that are expsive are worse." his toes were clean however, inspected for judgement rather than enjoyment, giving the impression that he puts effort into his heigne; a signal to flirt.
when he made his way to the cash register, i didn't allow the anxiety of his attractivesness show; keeping my voice calm not letting myself rush, embracing the akward silence of the slow register in the store, and no desire to talk. we locked eyes multiple times; him showcasing to me piercing blue eyes that look even more piercing, on the backslash of his sunkissed skin - another florida staple. almost like makeup. a handsome face, a manly face, i thought. the only thing that i didn't get to perceive was his hair - mainly as it was covered with a black bass pro baseball cap. something that reminded me of my grandpa; large and flat brimmed. i couldn't tell if his compliment was a sign of flirting or just being nice. maybe he just wanted to fill the silence of my lackluster desire for conversation. maybe he just said it to say it. i will never know, and i have to move the fuck on.
the second compliment also came at the cash register; this time from a girl. flirting with girls is something, i really never do. i tend to get more intimidated in the sense of my questioning if a woman could ever be attracted to a girl like me. i don't and didn't allow that thought to win this time, especially coming off of florida mans encounter.
shes a regular, seeing her only days before. her style consdiently mirrored that her florida man co star; housing her body in all black, giving emphasis of her silver butterfly knecklace that rests perfectly in the center of her chest - making me think of my tattoo. making me feel warm in my cheeks, and itchy in my toes.
her smile was clean, something i could suck on and feel refreshed; a crystal clean glass of iceless cool water. eye contact lingered, and i couldn't tell if she was flirty. the words ill see ya next time are now an obsession; playing on repated for the whole night, even now as I type the reencounter of our meeting.
that was the most interesting thing that happened at work today. that and we almost caught a woman stealing; a young white woman with a puppy named Chanel and a doggy stroller. her face reminded me of Amanda Bines, in the snese that it was the canvas for a small heart tattoo that also sits under the left eye. she was nice to me, especally as i tried to help her finds books. i could tell she was trying to steal, which made me second guess the genuineness of our conversation; trying to take advantage of the fact that i am nice. i really gave her the benefit of the doubt, until she lost her wallet last minute; leaving $350 worth of business and self help books on hold for tomorrow at 11am. my shift starts at that time. ill let you know if i see her again. i really hope to.
well that’s it for this week, for now. my goals? get my homework in and be caught up. go a whole week without cutting myself. to go a whole week without binge eating.
xx
mattea
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magical-agatha · 2 years
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i have a big complicated thought about myself im trying to capture and crystallise in text. i think for me, using tumblr means ive failed to find a better use of my time. i think tumblr can be fine for other people, tho it definitely has detrimental effects on some ppl. for me tho, since i took that extended break from social media i put an enormous amount of effort into finding more fulfilling and personally productive ways of using the time i used to use to browse tumblr. and i was actually hugely successful. ive made more art recently than ever. I've gotten better at trying new things and pushing myself and self motivation. better at waiting and patience and maybe even at focusing. i feel like ive been tackling my adhd and my tendency to waste time and procrastinate head on and winning dramatically. but the last few days ive been falling apart mentally. i spent like. 3 or 4 hours today staring at my phone and doing unproductive and like, mentally unhelpful things. wasting time. stuff thats harmless for other ppl but harmful for me. im happier when i dont spend hours each day staring at my phone. so i feel like I've failed myself.
the reality is that im in a huge slump. im sick, sleep deprived, and my hormone schedule has been upset. im on a different dose and different kind of hormone and the change is rly hurting me. waiting to see if ill stabilise after a couple weeks, bc this new hormone situation is way way cheaper. if my mental wellbeing doesn't improve in two weeks im switching back to what i was on before bc losing the feeling of triumph and confidence and control and understanding of myself that i had cultivated is a kind of torture and i really dont think i can bear it for very long.
i have been rly stroppy with the ppl around me and i am acutely aware of how out of control and chaotic my emotions are. hoping sleep and time will remedy that problem.
i know that i need to be patient but i am beyond sick of waiting. i was starting to get my life together and it feels like it's slipped out of my hands. i know i can get back to where i was but its not fair that i have to wait and fight and work to pull myself back together again.
i spent years and years with this website being an escape from real life and my primary means of socialisation. so i can't help but see it as a kind of mental trap now. i refuse to scroll listlessly and melt my brain like this again its so incredibly bad for me now.
i should like. delete my blog or log out or something but i cant delete my blog bc archival is a necessity, and i don't want to be excluded from my social circle sharing posts on discord. so idk ill just practice self control.
this is like. purely a me thing. tumblr is bad for me and im not commenting on anyone else pls dont misunderstand.
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ilhoonftw · 2 years
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i hope it's okay to send this because i kind of wanted to explain a little more about loona? (i was thinking of adding a commentary but eh, im on mobile so...), so i wouldnt say loona's case is as bad as it was for vixx, i think i can only pinpoint 2 instance where... something definitely fishy happened. so the 1st was in 2020, when lee sooman (from sm) invested money & worked with loona (loona is one of those groups with lore & storyline) and when aespa debuted a few people noticed a few similarities with loona (aesthetic, some lore, etc.) obvsly loona dont own some concepts o it was just a "eh" moment and people moved on. the 2nd instance was with nmixx and it was Weird, so nmixx debuted with some concept trailer and people were like "wait did they... did they copied loona's mvs & teasers? or did the video production company just got lazy and reused those shots?" but the video prod company ceo was CONFUSED as well and said so on instagram (before deleting the post & was later hired to film the mv?? idk it was weird.) so like i wouldn't say loona's get constantly ripped off bc that wouldn't be true & groups are allowed to have similar concepts!! but sometimes it's like "hmm. i see."
but like you said, if the competition field was levelles, i think groups from big, rich companies would be having a much harder time because they only get opportunities through their affiliations. not to say they're not talented but they're nepo babies thats all!!!!
p.s : also does anyone remember when aespa's lyricist straight up plagiarized janelle monae's django jane rap because that was WILD.
of course it's okay, you're more than welcome to elaborate! thank you for taking the time to do so because admittely, i am far from being super familiar with loona lore (beyond their first year at least)
maybe companies saw that loona's somewhat experimental concepts and maketing worked out so they decided 'hey let's use that, it's not like they can sue us'. i mean fans of some groups can be very annoying with 'they own this!' when it was already done 1468 times before But some groups manage to either refresh something already done or make something new their trademark so it does feel like ~their thing~. one thing about loona concepts etc is you can tell right away it's loona lol
the investment part reminds me of sm nerfing infinite 🥲🥲🥲
aespa got the usual 'let's change things up before 1st comeback' sm treatment, and as calculated everything was, they succeed i guess? they had their songs play on variety shows whatnot, nugus don't get that... nugus don't debut in a company that produces hit tv shows and has creative control over them... is it fair? it's hard to flop if your company is this big and many fans are primarly company stans so they buy whatever they are selling........
nmixx feels like a fever dream to me bc jyp ent never really did stuff like *gestures vaguely* that, at least gg wise... jyp as usual is heavy mediaplaying, ofc focused on just one member. the thing about jyp's marketing is they are smart with it, usually people get annoyed with constant stream of fluff pieces but they mastered making it seem less obvious. i mean if you see someone's name mentioned a lot in the media, you assume they got to be famous, right? it's kinda like that. i remember people saying jyp did this with suzy or gorioshi'ed twice to success in japan. who knows really!
every now and then i get flustrated by the ~state of things~ but then i remember it's show business, not show art or show fairness :/
ps what?????????
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Ok! 75 MG of THC, a bottle of wine, all the shows I could want to stream in front of me, and most importantly a fucking edit button. Let's get weird we're trying a new format.
Weird Go Pro and what not.
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Finally saw the Trailer for Vox Machina season 2. I really, really wanted to hate that show. Something about a bunch of nerds making money & fame off of their "nerd-cred" triggers a nerve reserved for my Wil Wheaton hatred (It's feature, not a bug considering how much bad content there is in that genre).
Vox is against my instincts good. Very good. If the D&D movie copies even half of what it has going for it, it could be a pretty successful IP. There was not many Fantasy TV & Movies being done well in America that wasn't called Game of Thrones. They were one of the first Animated series to break that. Certainly the first to not be some bleak mess.
A year later and the flood gates are opening...
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Master Boot Record dropped a new Keygen
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So Willow is a damn fun series. It's D&D Teens with Dad & his weird friends.
If you consider the primal love of the fantasy genre resides somewhere, painted on the side of a van? This is a great outcome.
Willow the movie was great because it was a generic fantasy universe; Mad Madigan, Mordred the Witch, a baby that is supposed to be the chosen one. An A-level Production of B-level film.
The new Willow series is all that in weekly hour long format. It honestly feels kinda like Buffy the Vampire Slayer with a gigantic budget and no monster of the week pacing. I mean, just go and look at the dialog throughout this scene from this week's episode:
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#Christ, I am getting old.
It feels like all the good CW writers have to be working for Disney+ now. It's that quippy, quirky, Joss Wheadon style of writing on this & Hawkeye. She-Hulk was just enough on the weird style dramedy that it had to have come from that school of thought...
I don't know. Im just making this shit up.
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Fun episode though and the use of this song was excellent...
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Testing the waters on DragonBall Superhero. It's definitely DragonBall Z acting like it's the MCU. Kinda fun, but not enough attention for tonight.
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Hmmmmmm.......
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Nah.........
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Guess I am learning about nihari cause I have an addiction to street food shows these days...
What is Nihari?
Nihari comes from the word for morning in Arabic. It is a beef or goat stew cooked through the night. Popular in Pakistan... It looks like the Indian sub-continent version of Texas Chili or Birria.
I want to play with that idea... But my smoker is broken. 😔
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Submissions from Schemes
As per your request I am publishing your submissions, Schemes. There's nothing this blog can do about the actions taken against your account. That was a decision made by staff - not me, or any of the users who posted here. Evidence posted on this blog has never before been used to ban anyone, so we can only logically assume that staff acted on other information. If you would like to explain that situation to us I will publish what you have to say.
My priority is Rescreatu. I'm honestly not that interested in anyone's character. I want to see Rescreatu thrive again. I want justice for the users who have been wrongfully banned. I want it to be a fair playing field, where everyone is held to the same rules and staff are accountable for their actions. I want to help staff restore the faith and trust users need to have in the site in order for it to be successful and fun again.
You have an opportunity here to change the narrative entirely. You could become a hero overnight if you chose to share what you know and expose what has been going on. You would most likely be listened to by Patrick, too, and could change Rescreatu for the better. I know for a fact you would find allies on staff as well, who are looking for someone who will step up and confront these issues. It's not too late and I will be your first ally if you choose to do the right thing.
As a side note, Tumblr does not give me access to the emails used for long submissions. I've also never published anything I've received in a DM without permission. I don't send harassing messages, it's not productive. I invited you to DM the blog because I wanted to give you a chance to discuss this before I posted what you wrote (which I genuinely feel will not give the impression to users that you hope it will).
Without further ado, here is what Schemes (as far as I know) has submitted to the blog, hopefully in order. I will not be compiling any other messages submitted like this in short format (it's too much work - please use the long submission form - I'm not censoring you, I'm just asking you to follow guidelines).
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heyaaaaa to my fans I'll make this perfectly clear, if my tu was taken because of something shady, I would have never publicly spoke about it on the SB and make myself look "bad" where I know everyone clocks my every movement and watches me like a tv show. you know I'm smarter than that atleast I'd hope so! Now that im not staff I can comment on this hate blog but my peace and happiness / mental health is worth more than trying to prove to people who have already decided they dislike me. bye now
PS as per my last post, if I REALLY did something bad EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN WIPED FROM MY ACCOUNT. just saying. and there's no way i would have been unbanned in 1 day. -schemes/khione. now I'm done I promise. And to those who have been defending me, thank you. I really am grateful
Schemes again, few months ago I wrote to you guys, and explained how my mental health was deteriorating and requested the removal of false and personal information about me etc. not sure if you guys did, but here we go again with this, baseless lies and bullying. I tried to [censored] myself over this blog. Now if I sue for emotional trauma I would be wrong right? Bc I have the means, professionals and the proof to do so. please don't say if it bothered so much to ignore the blog it's never that ez
I gave up the achromatic omni amongst other colored galta to try to make people see that I really was moving with geniune intentions. I now realize that was stupid and I should've kept them because y'all got something to say in a bad manner about me anyway. I should just get it back LOL. Not being staff any longer is such a relief I can now actually say stuff I feel
Unfortunately I don't have a tumblr account. If you don't want to post my truth and continue to make me look bad, and allow people to assassinate my character to control the narrative, just say that. Nor am I going to make a tumblr account just for this. Just keep in mind what I said on anon. - Schemes/Khione
I don't need to talk to my friends. My friends know my truth. But here's another truth, you're pathetic and a bully. Karma is real, so it's fine. You don't have to post what I said. I have a clear head, I just don't see why my posts won't be submitted. Why would I post a long submission, so you can have my email and harass me some more? No thanks. Like I said, if this continues I'll be taking legal action. I've been letting the bullying slide for too long. Take that however you want.
Maybe you need a break from this blog. You feed of the bullying of others and drama and the hate. Does it fuel you? I'll pray for you. obviously this is schemes again. I'm sure you'll post this though. Again, bc u want people to think I'm a horrible person. You pick and choose what to post, it's really sad. I think you're the one who needs to take a break from this blog. It's only going to ruin you.
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PS - I will resume posting your submissions this evening or tomorrow when I have time. I wanted to allow some time for everyone to catch up.
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meruz · 3 years
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i was gonna draw tonight but i dropped my tablet pen and the barrel of the pen broke off and flew somewhere underneath (??) my bed (?) and now i cant find it so I’m just gonna answer asks before bed instead. just some art asks and more mentions of infinity train LOL
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What program and brushes do you use when making your art?
@ravki hi! part of this is in my FAQ but i’ll say it again anyways LOL: I use photoshop CC and have used photoshop for pretty much....my whole art career. I’ve dabbled in clip and paint tool sai in the past but photoshop is my true wife, we eloped away from her awful father adobe many years ago and are very happy together. 
as for brushes... I should prob put this info in my FAQ too lol,... my default brush set is actually free to download here! Tho I will say I also use steve ahn’s storyboarding brush sometimes and lately i’ve been using shiyoon kim’s brushes A TON. Shiyoon’s cost a couple bucks but they’re super worth it imo
How do you choose colors?
This is kind of a difficult one to describe from scratch but hmm.... I’ll put it this way. Generally when I go into coloring or painting something I already have some colors in mind. Like for a certain piece I know I want a bright green, or a magenta, or a dark blue in certain areas. A lot of the time I know a mood I want. So I’ll start with that core color tone and build around it. I’ll use an example from a recent piece
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So you can see here that the first color I accessed was that bright cyan. So I start with that bright cyan and then bring in its “friends” in the form of analogous colors (shown below on the far left)
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greens greys etc. THEN I know I want the characters to stand out against all the blue so I start laying down warm contrasting colors for them (middle group). the mat under them is orange, skin tones are warm, ryans flannel is red etc. then to get them to work together I work more cool colors into the shadows and slightly warmer (not too warm because its a cool img overall so in this case, greener LOL) colors into highlights. 
hope that makes sense? for me choosing colors is a lot about story and composition. If you know what you want to say, the mood you want to create, where you want to go, the path to get there becomes a lot clearer imo.
Have you ever considered making an art book?
I have! But I don’t think I currently have enough...original illustrations for one LOL? Not that an art book has to be all original work but if I were putting fanart in an art book...at that point I’d just make a fanzine. I’m making more original work lately though so maybe this year....? Who knows. For now, I do have a sketchbook up on gumroad. Hoping to do one of those next year too.
Any tips for keeping background drawings from getting super stiff, especially since things like interiors have a lot of straight lines?
This is a really interesting ask. Really great question that I don’t think gets asked enough - forgive me if I get a bit art school here but I drew up some examples.
First I think we have to investigate the assumption that straight lines make things stiff. That seems true on an instinctual level and certainly proves to be true very often But I don’t think its actually the straight lines themselves but the sort of arrangements and compositions they tend to dictate. Take this for instance.
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pretty big difference, right? there’s a couple things that make a composition feel stiff and one of the most significant is lines that are perpendicular and parallel to the frame. it feels locked in and solid, like bricks. but the moment you shift these angles even a little the composition instantly becomes more dynamic because our innate senses of weight, gravity, and directionality can sense movement.
But it’s not just diagonals let’s take this one step further
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when lines meet and terminate together those tangents can flatten and lock space so the best way to solve this is with overlap and complete intersection, forms continuing past or behind each other feel more layered and less like a flat mosaic... again, even in the simplest line drawings. So how do we apply this to a background?
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ok I drew this really fast so its potentially not the best example but I think the idea is there. This space isn’t even particularly deep, it’s basically a room, a doorway, and a hallway behind it, and we’re not seeing that much of any of those things LOL. but when you draw an environmental object like a doorway in a way that lines up with the perpendicular and parallel lines of the canvas you’re automatically flattening it and making it look rigid.
and when you create tangents with objects and characters you flatten the space around them and make it difficult to tell what is actually in front or behind or if they’re on the same plane.
GOD I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE. Anyways. avoid those things and you’ll instantly have less stiff bgs no matter what kind of bg you’re depicting.
I wanna mention however that this isn’t to say a stiff bg with flat space doesn’t have its purposes.
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sometimes you want to create parallels and tangents. it can make characters feel closed in, trapped, regimented, part of a routine, etc. it’s also great for making a composition look ornamental (especially combined with symmetry).
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directors like wes anderson can even use these compositional elements to make images feel uncanny or harrowing! its very versatile. I think the important thing is to just be aware of when you are making something rigid and when that’s the last thing you want to do. conscious choices.
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Can you speak Tagalog?
@lemuelzero101​ I can! BUT NOT VERY WELL LOL ;;; both my parents are from Visayas! but they met and had me in the states lol so I’m pretty American born and raised. We go back to visit family on occasion but not regularly. My tagalog is mostly absorbed from listening to relatives at parties lol and my parents speak bisaya at home so I’m marginally better at that. Sorry to any filipinos out there hoping I’d be better educated, I’m like a little baby...
I do love meeting and talking to other filipinos online though, I grew up in an area that was relatively diverse but the asian population was small and the filipino population basically non-existent. I was like one of maybe 2 filipino kids in my highschool of 2000.
Apart from infinity train what shows are you watching now? Have you seen jujitsu kaisen?
Man this is gonna sound so boring but I haven’t watched a lot of tv lately.  It’s not really part of my daily routine. Let’s see... I was sort of watching Amphibia, Craig of the Creek, and the new Digimon Adventure 2020 but I keep falling off watching those for one reason or another. Also there’s a lot of episodes, it doesn’t feel like something I can just binge and be done with.
The last thing I binged was Succession. I want that show and Euphoria back so bad, when I’m done forcing all my friends to watch Infinity Train im cancelling my HBO subscription until Succession and Euphoria return so they know exactly what I’m on their list for LOL. 
I have not watched jujitsu kaisen but I’ve kept up with some of the sakuga news (I keep up with anime industry news and production info like x5 the amt i keep up with actual anime) for it and their compositing/editing looks dope. I’ve read the manga actually LOL or at least part of the beginning. I wasn’t super keen on the whole finger eating thing. Also to be honest I kinda feel like its the new Bleach and I never particularly cared about Bleach. Characters look nice enough tho. I wholeheartedly support jjk fans.
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Thank you! Thank you @keznodzieja​! <3
And thank you anons who don’t watch infinity train LOL...it’s always nice to hear when people enjoy my fanart despite not knowing the source material because it lifts a little bit of the “oh god am I being annoying???” fear off my chest. But also I think you should watch infinity train because it’s really good I have no reservations recommending it.
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