#if i think hes even remotely a good person | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aejeonghae · 2 days

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I just don't understand how you like S*l? He is actually right up there with T**g for being the worst. There is nothing good about him, sorry.

i don't understand the wild and weird hate against sol (or even remotely comparing him to tong) but here we are, anon. like if joe out right saying sol is a good person can't convince ya'll... idk why you're asking me?

anyway... you asked for my thoughts and opinions, so you shall receive.

sol is just a really interesting dude to me. he's just some guy that i think is really neat. he's a thai kpop idol and FAMOUS famous but he isn't like tong about it. he's kind and just a really good-hearted person. he's the sunny type, cheerful, caring, and loyal to his friends. like joe, sol is a sunflower in the toxic showbiz world msi is set in.

(tbh i see him and ming, who is also a fascinating character, as kind of two sides of the same "rich and famous" coin. ming is cold, aloof, calculating with walls as high as elon crust's ego is inflated. and then there is sol, open and kind-hearted. which is exactly why he and joe hit it off. funny though, ming and sol are petty but like on completely opposite ends of the petty spectrum.)

after lovingly bugging @zhouxiangs for novel spoilers i really wished the series had touched more on sol and joe's history instead of just a few throwaway lines here and there because sol's story ;3; my smol bean of a son. (and this is where media literacy and nuance comes in :D but y'all barely have any of that.)

joe and sol were very close . they ate, trained, and slept (sleeping type of slept lol) together. they did everything together. and then sol found out joe was gay (in the novel sol was also struggling with his sexuality) and then joe confessed to sol. joe liked sol first (not this weird warped reality y'all are living in where sol has been obsessing over joe). but anyway, sol was young and scared and dumb. he was afraid of being taken advantage of and also of his own feelings for joe and he ran away. joe got over it and never held it against him.

while in korea, it seemed that sol struggled to connect with people and went through some tough times as a trainee (i'm quoting from porsche's interview) and he realized his true feelings for joe so when he had the chance to return to thailand he took it and he sought out joe to reconnect. as a friend, as more.

was he supposed to have some sort of psychic link with joe that he was already seeing someone? obviously not. but when joe made it clear he liked ming, sol backed off romantically. he didn't back off as a friend though. (idk about y'all friendless gremlins but if one of my close friends was in the situationship from hell that joe was in... i'd also try and make them see reason, open their eyes. like sol once having feelings for joe does not diminish his friendship with joe. at all. (yes the scene of joe and sol in the van in ep 6 means everything to me. joe and sol were friends, brothers even. and that scene showed it.)

fyi, novel sol recognized joe too :D

ANYWAY, it was interesting to see the change in sol after joe's death. he isn't his usual cheerful self, but he's still kind and polite if a bit more reserved. and i for one love the cattiness with ming he has going on? LEAVE MING ALONE i see y'all shouting but me I WANT HIM TO PUNCH MING IN THE NUTS ONCE (if y'all can project, so can i) like ming deserves to catch a bit of shit from sol (his 'khun chai ming' sent meeee), since his and tong's bullshit directly contributed to the death of his best friend.

is sol perfect? no. (the fight with ming where joe got hurt. or the phone call scene that resulted in joe effectively being cut out of sol's life. again.) but are any of these characters perfect? absolutely not.

sol though is strangely villainized and for what? because he's trying to help and protect his friend (and is maybe being snotty with ming but... deserved tbh lol)? because he might be feeling a little righteous and fafo with the guy who took his friend away from him? because he once had feelings for joe but then redirected them into being a decent human and a good friend?

sponsored by: @zhouxiangs and porsche/lotte interview with iqiyi.

#my stand in #sol love club 🩷#is this even coherent? i'm three days into migraine hell loool #usersasa #response

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a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten · 3 days

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Why Ceroba and the Feisty Four were right

Not bothering with any fancy opening, it's exactly what it says it is: Ceroba and the Feisty Four were right to call out Starlo.

Now before you crucify me, I love Starlo as a character. But I'm tired of people (not calling out anyone in particular) pretending that he's done absolutely nothing wrong and demonize Ceroba and the Feisty Four for snapping at him (largely Ceroba, but I see the Feisty Four get shat on every now and then). And this is not me calling Starlo a jerk. Typically, calling him a flat-out jerk would mean he did shit on purpose with malicious intent, and I don't think he acted out of spite. Rather, he did all those things because he just didn't think about it in the moment. I understand that, and I can 110% relate to that myself, honestly.

That being said, he did make some legit dick moves over the course of the game. Exhibit A: Having Moray walk around with a snake in their boot and giving them rashes.

IK some of Starlo's more wild fans would probably do anything he says and all that, but put yourself in Moray's shoes (or boots I guess would be more appropriate). If your friend made you walk around with a rubber toy in your footwear that gave you a nasty rash, I think you'd be reasonable at least a bit angry at them.

Exhibit B: The Boulder Droppers

They're literal goddam boulders. That shit could've killed someone. Setting them up at a busy mineshaft is reckless enough as it is but leaving them on after you're done using them just makes things even worse.

Exhibit C: Blaming Clover for everything that happened and shooting them over it.

What am I supposed to say? If you hate Ceroba for what she did to Kanako and Clover, keep in mind that Starlo basically did the same exact thing.

Again, this is not me calling Starlo an asshole overall. Yes, he is a good monster deep down and just made some legit mistakes. But my point is, he does have flaws nonetheless and I can't stand people who ignore them. Like, him accepting what he did was wrong and coming to terms with that is one of the best parts of his character! C'mon guys.

And yes, people treat Ceroba as a horrible friend because she wasn't into it and apparently 'hates that part of Starlo' or whatever. If Ceroba actually hated Starlo's obsession with Western culture, do you think she'd indulge in his ramblings on humans?

...or helped him set up all of those wanted posters for him?

...or helping his family search for him when he 'goes missing' during a neutral run?

*sarcastically* Wooooooow, what a horrible friend...

Yes, I understand Ceroba is a very blunt and sarcastic person, but I think because of that, she ends up coming off as harsher than she means to be. Trust me, I can relate to that.

To call her a heartless bitch is a disservice to her character. She does care deep down, even if she isn't that good at showing it.

And hey, she's a mourning widow and mother, I wouldn't blame her for not being good at showing positive emotions.

As for the Feisty Five, our favorite enby fish puts it best themself:

My point is, despite snapping at him, Ceroba and the Feisty Four did not hate Starlo. They understood that his obsession over Western Culture was really important with him. It's made clear that they know he's a good monster deep down, despite his transgressions and were very ready to forgive him.

They just wanted him to dial it back. And yeah, he needed to. Granted, this is targeted at the 'Starlo did nothing wrong' crowd. If you admit that he's pretty heavily flawed but that Ceroba's done worse, I can accept that. Hell, despite me being a Ceroba apologist, I might even agree with you to a degree. But I am a bit tired of the fandom putting him on a pedestal while overhating everyone who remotely criticizes him.

#undertale #undertale yellow #uty starlo #uty ceroba #the feisty five #uty ed #uty ace #uty moray #uty mooch #ranting #fandom critical

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crownmemes · 2 days

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Mean Sentences, Vol. 7

(Mean sentences from various sources. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Look at you; relieved you didn't disappoint. That's a weakness."

"It really does suck being you, doesn't it?"

"You're incapable of human connection, so you want everyone to be like you!"

"How did they manage to get so many snobs in one place?"

"I liked you better when you were dying."

"Can I ask you a question? Are you insane or just stupid?"

"You're a collection of impeccable, elaborate masks in orbit of a stunted heart."

"You truly are pathetic."

"I am disappointed. I should have thought that you would have devised something more original."

"Were you born heartless, or did the job make you like this?"

"My professional and personal view is that you are poison."

"I want you to listen to me because I think you've needed to hear this your whole life. You aren't a good person."

"Can you comprehend even for one second that this is not about you?"

"Nobody wanted to work with you. Nobody wants to work with you now."

"Nobody will ever love you in the way he loves me."

"You've got friends?"

"No, I'm not okay, but that doesn't mean I need anything from you."

"I don't care about you. Not anymore."

"You're cute, but you're not that cute."

"You really have no decency, do you?"

"You're a hard, callous bitch! You're just using me!"

"Whatever gave you the impression that I was remotely interested in your private life?"

"Human? You don't deserve to be human."

"Why should I help you? What have the likes of you ever done to help the likes me?"

"I'd call you an idiot again, but at this point I'm starting to doubt whether you understand what I mean by the word."

"Have you any idea how ridiculous you sound?"

"You are a precocious boy who is perhaps ashamed at how much he likes attention."

"I detest you more than you could ever know."

"When have you ever had a lasting relationship?"

"Your ego is astounding."

"Everyone was right; you're not very nice to know."

"You're nothing but a goddamn coward!"

"You're so banal. In fact, you're so banal it's almost a talent!"

"You're a monster, you know that?"

"Your lack of understanding does not obligate me to explain."

"It's hard to find something in a man who rejects people as much as you do, you know that?"

"You don't belong here. You never belonged here."

"You were doing so well. Now you're being simply foolish."

"Don't you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?"

"Of all the lies people tell themselves, I bet that's the most common."

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #assorted;#mean;

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charmstrangebeauty · 18 hours

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Doctor Who prediction post

I think Rogue is coming back as the Master:

Bad Guy playing when they met

TARDIS didn’t like him

The ring he gave him had a symbol of medicine on it - he had that ready to go

The name Rogue is an alias

Immediate chemistry with the Doctor

Would not be the first time the Master kissed the Doctor while in disguise

Flustered is a good look on you sounds like someone familiar with all of the Doctor’s looks

The Master would recognize the psychic paper and make up the “you’re hot” thing to fuck with him

Won’t say who they lost (the Doctor?)

Pronoun for person they lost was they/them (aka time lord with complicated gender relationship?)

Parallels in how the Doctor asked him to come along vs. how 10 asked John Simm

Kylie Minogue has big ‘the Master’s villain dance pop number’ energy

Jonathan Groff is a big (aka expensive) name to cast as a one-off

They’ve been teasing the Master coming back since the Toymaker

I do also buy into the “trapped in a TV show” theory (not mine - kudos to whoever figured that out), e.g.

The Doctor can hear non-diagetic music

Genre of show changed to fantasy

It’s also a musical now (someone sings in every episode I think since the Toymaker appeared, starting with the goblins, and nobody calls out that it’s weird)

4th wall breaks

Recurring actor keeps showing up in different roles

That promo image of a TV set

The sonic screwdriver looks like a remote

Bridgerton has race-blind casting but no gay people, which is why the dancing caused a stir but not the Doctor’s race (even immediately after Dot and Bubble) - it’s following TV logic

Ok so to go full tin foil hat:

Someone (the one who waits?) has them trapped in a tv show, maybe with the help of the Toymaker (because they are being played with like dolls) and Maestro (the reason it’s now a musical). The Master is probably also trapped (because of the tooth thing) and I assume will get a song as part of the TV musical because why else cast Jonathan Groff. Susan is probably also trapped since we don’t know where she’s been and name dropping the Doctor’s granddaughter with the Susan Twist thing in the same season is too big of a coincidence.

Alternatively, the one who waits could be Rogue/the Master stuck in that dimension the Doctor sent him to, now back for revenge in some kind of paradox that inevitably has to do with Ruby’s parents and snow, i.e. he could be the one who put them into the TV show and is just playing along for fun. That would also explain why the Toymaker thought it was funny that the Doctor didn’t know who the one who waits was.

#doctor who #rogue #doctor who spoilers #fan theory #Jonathan Groff #the master #spoilers #honestly I hope they say the reason space babies was so weird was because it was the in-show TV show doing a parody of a 1st DW episode #which is why it had so many parallels with early RTD but was hella weird #that would also explain why they dropped two episodes at once when they dropped space babies like maybe they knew it was weird #and needed us to stick with it until they could explain

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bestworstcase · 1 day

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First i want to say that i love your rwby analysys, but i just discovered your blog, so can you explain to me why you hate Ozpin so much? Like, every minor thing he does and says must have some malicious intention behind it, but everything Salem does is part of a big plan that means that she's not actually evil?

ooh it’s been a while since we had one of these! 1. i think perhaps a closer read of my salem analysis is called for, because you’ll notice that i am, er, not shy about noting that salem is evil and this is in fact a central tenet of my reading of the narrative; i just don’t think she’s a one-note genocidal lunatic and it is extremely obvious that the narrative is heading in a "the brothers were and are wrong, and salem wants them gone" direction; 2. oz is second in my heart only to salem and cinder, which sort of speaks for itself in terms of "this character did bad things!" not being remotely a bad thing in my book, 3. and speaking of cinder, i get exactly as cranky about uwuified fanon sad wet rag ozpin who’s never done a thing wrong as i do uwufied fanon poor wittle cindy who doesn’t want to hurt people but salem makes her do it for exactly the same reason, which is that it strips out everything that makes these characters narratively and emotionally compelling in favor of mashing them into gutless marshmallow pod people for the sake of… i don’t know, making them neat and bland and easily digestible, i guess? uwu?

4. this is an ozlem house

5. i don’t think ozma has ever acted with malicious intention; rather, he’s been coerced into this situation where his faith in his god, his intense desire to do the right thing, and his terror of what will happen if he fails or disobeys—in combination with a divine curse that is literally designed to prevent him from being able to change or break free, because he has a reflection of himself monitoring his thoughts and actions all the time—are at war with his true desire (he wants to be with salem) and his conscience (he knows that salem was right about what is necessary to fulfill his task, that uniting the whole world under one creed is impossible except by genocidal conquest, and he cannot bring himself to do it because it’s wrong). he’s trying very hard to do the right thing in a situation where he genuinely believes his only options are to commit genocide for his god or sacrifice the whole world for his love and he is desperate to figure out a third option that does not end with "rocks fall everybody dies;" thence the lies and manipulation and all the miserable moral sacrifices he’s ever made.

6. the reason this is an ozlem house, in the sense that my reading of the narrative in its entirety is predicated on the ozlem reconciliation, is that salem and ozma are two sides of a coin: she is doing terrible things in pursuit of a world where the gods aren’t holding a knife to remnant’s throat and he has done terrible things for the sake of the same. their conflict isn’t evil-vs-good, but apostate-vs-zealot; salem believes the gods can and must be defied and ozma believes her defiance is doomed to failure. salem tells him that in order to unite the world he needs to spread his word and crush all who deny him; as the king of vale, ozma uses the divine relic of destruction to lay waste to not only his enemies but even his own allies, thus he forges the vytal accords that established the united global order in which the story takes place. he’s a better person than she is—because she’s been living in exile for thousands of years and her capacity for caring about other people has withered away to almost nothing as a consequence—but they are in every sense equals.

7. the narrative is overtly not on ozpin’s side? he has a whole atonement arc about it in atlas—& this is why i made the comparison to uwuified fanon cinder earlier, because the framing with regard to ozpin is very emphatically clear that he does a lot of things that are not good, and are in fact pretty sinister and in some cases (amber, pyrrha) outright evil, and he has to make the choice and put in real meaningful effort to be better. i don’t think there’s anything to be gained from ignoring what is plainly in the text of the story, especially when rwby is categorically disinterested in sorting its characters into neat little good-or-bad boxes. there’s no such thing as pure evil—that’s been the explicit textual conceit since volume one—and the implied converse is that there’s no such thing as pure good, either. (which is a conceit that ozlem exemplifies.)

8. i threw a fucking PARTY when we found out salem razed vale, i get the vapors every time i think about what sort of narrative escalation we can expect in V10 given that something as huge as razing vale can happen off screen to set the stakes for vacuo. not that i don’t also adore characters who are good or who (like oz in v7-8) grow and change to become better, because i do, but i really can’t emphasize enough how much i Do Not hate fictional characters on the basis of them doing awful things. what i want from a character is for them to be interesting, which ozpin is. what you’re perceiving as me hating on him is me dissecting him under a microscope because i love him to bits.

9. the ozlem screeds will continue until morale improves

#people never uwuify salem but if they DID i would be scathing abt them too. bfrgschfk

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malii-the-bonehead · 2 days

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The Other Woman pt6

Heres Part 6, finallyyyyy.

Slow burn

Summary: Chris, a popular hockey player at school where Y/n went, found himself falling for the beautiful, shy girl. As time went on he found out who Y/n truly was as a person and ultimately, he had to make the choice, his girlfriend, or the other woman.

Part 6

Monday came by quicker than I had hoped. When I woke up that morning I felt so sick. I had a throbbing headache and my stomach was killing me. I had been up for probably 30 minutes before I had rushed to the bathroom to vomit the acids in my stomach, since I hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday afternoon.

Yeah, I was not going to school today. I also called work and explained the situation. My boss was understanding. She told me to take as much time as I needed.

I turned off my lights and put the mini trash can from my bathroom next to my bed. I flipped onto my side, facing the edge of my bed in case I had to lean over and puke again. I curled up and held my stomach, feeling the pain finally take over.

–

I woke up from the sound of my door being opened harshly. I groaned and opened my eyes. My mom was standing in my doorway.

“Y/n, what are you still doing here? It’s Monday. You have school.”

I explained to her how I wasn’t feeling well. She walked out of the room and came back with some water and medicine for me to take.

“Rest up then, kiddo.” She kissed my forehead. “If you need anything, just call me.” She pushed my hair out of my face then turned to leave the room. I checked my phone to see what time it was.

It was 11:30. They had 3 new messages. 2 of them from Chris and 1 of them from my dad. I checked the one from my dad first.

When you coming visit? I miss yall. Don’t be a stranger, Y/n. Text me back when you can. I love you.

I sighed and closed out of the message, then clicked Chris’s contact. I looked at his message, soon responding after reading them.

Why aren’t you in 3rd hour? Are you here today? Soon after his first message he had sent, Hello??

I typed back, Sorry, Chris. I’ve been sleeping all morning. I’m sick with what I think is the stomach flu. But I should be back by Wednesday or Thursday.

I shut off my phone. I wasn’t tired anymore so I grabbed my TV remote and played some music. I sat up in my bed and grabbed my school bag from the floor. I opened it and grabbed my computer, checking my school work I had missed for the day. I had probably 4 assignments. Soon after starting my first assignment, my phone buzzed. I picked it up and checked the message. Chris had texted back rather quickly.

Send me your address. I’ll bring you some food and medicine. I laid back on my pillow, smiling like a 14 year old with a crush. I practically kicked my feet at his message. To be honest, I knew I’d get to this point with Chris. Where I would fall for him. But I think a part of me had always liked Chris. Even just seeing him walk past me in the hallways would always make my heart hurt, I just never realized I actually liked him until he talked to me the first time. I sent him a message back.

No, don’t worry about it. I should be fine but thank you. He read it. I sat waiting for his message for a while before I figured he wasn’t texting back. I shut off my phone and started working on my school assignments once again.

It took me about 2 hours to do everything I had missed. By the time I finished, school would have been 10 minutes from the final bell ringing. Chris had never texted back. I was kind of bummed about it, but tried not to think about it too much.

I got up out of my bed and immediately felt a wave of dizziness overcome me. I rushed to the bathroom, emptying my already empty stomach once again. I sat on the bathroom floor for a good 20 minutes, too scared to move. Throwing up was definitely my least favorite thing.

My mom came knocking on the bathroom door once I hit the 25 minute mark. Not that anyone was counting, except for me.

I flushed the toilet and pushed myself against the wall. “You can come in.”

“Are you sure? Someone’s here to see you.”

My eyes furrowed in confusion. The bathroom door opened after a few seconds of silence. I saw my mom, water bottle in hand. She walked in, sitting next to me. After she sat down she called out, “Don’t be shy, we don’t bite.” She giggled and pushed my shoulder softly. I just looked at her, then towards the door.

“I brought you some food and things to help with your stomach.” Chris walked in. My eyes widened and I tried to quickly stand up. The second I felt dizzy, I collapsed back into the position I was in again. Mom ran her fingers through my hair. Then she started to rub big circles into my back. Chris put the toilet seat down and sat on it. He was now in front of me holding a bag of food and medicine. “I didn’t know what kind of food you ate but Alice said you liked strawberries and toaster strudels so I grabbed a few packs of everything.”

Yep, I was for sure going to kill Alice. He pulled out of the bag a packet of medicine and a sweet tea, as well as a pepsi. He left the food in the bag but placed it on the counter next to my sink. He read the back of the packet and took out 2 pills, handing them to me along with the sweet tea.

“How did you get here? I didn’t tell you where I lived.” I grabbed the things from his hands. My face was flushed and I was hot. I probably looked like a mess. My face was pale and my cheeks were red. My hair was a mess and I was wearing fuzzy socks and some shorts with a hoodie. It was hot and I was sweaty.

“That was also Alice. She’s very helpful.” He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. My mom put her hand on my knee. I looked at her.

“Say thank you, Y/n. He came all this way for you.”

My head was throbbing. “Thank you,” I mumbled.

“I’ll leave you alone.” Mom stood up and walked to the bathroom door. “Yell if you need anything.” She walked out, leaving only me and Chris in the small bathroom.

Chris held his hand to my forehead. “Yeah, you’re definitely sick. You’re burning up. Where do you keep your towels?” I pointed to the cabinets under the sink. He got up and rummaged through the cabinet before pulling out a small black towel and running it under the cold water from the sink. He rang it out then placed it on my head. I went to grab it but he pushed my hand away, holding his hand and the towel to my forehead.

“Thank you, Chris.”

He smiled and sat next to me, replacing the spot mom was previously in.

“You know, 3rd hour was soooo boring without you.” He dragged out the so, making it seem way too dramatic. I looked at him. He pushed the hair out of my face and tucked the strands behind my ears. “Can I put your hair up for you?” I nodded my head.

“Let’s go to my room first. I’ve been here way too long.” Chris got up first, grabbing my hand to help me get up. If I wasn’t in so much pain, I would have been so nervous.

He led me out the door and to my bed. He let go of my hand and grabbed my desk chair. He pulled it to the side of my bed next to me. I turned my back to him, handing him the hair tie on my wrist. I held the towel to my head.

He gathered all my hair and pulled it back into a ponytail. He was very gentle. So gentle I almost didn’t feel it. “There, that’s better”

I felt my face heat up. I shifted and turned back to face him. He got up and went back to the bathroom, soon coming back with the bag of food in his hand. He placed it on my bed next to me. I rummaged through it, grabbing the pack of strawberries. They looked so good.

“Here,” I handed him a strawberry. He took it and ate it. I also grabbed one and ate it. They were so sweet.

“You have a nice room. It really describes who you are.” I looked at him puzzled.

“That is a good thing, right?”

He nodded his head at me. A few seconds passed but it felt like minutes.

“You know, you really didn’t have to come here for me. I’m grateful, but you could have been doing better things.” I looked at him. He was studying my room, looking around and messing with the trinkets on my side table.

“I don’t mind. I wanted to see you anyway.” He looked at me, his head tilted. He had a grin on his face. My face was red once again. I kept eating the strawberries silently, offering some to Chris whenever he had finished his last. I grabbed the remote from my bed and turned off the music that had been playing for the past few hours. Now the room was completely silent. It was a comfortable silence. Something about Chris being here was making my heart calm down. My stomach started to feel better.

He looked at me for a while before saying, “Alice is worried about you too. You should text her. Let her know you’re okay.” I smiled at him.

“For being sick, you’re still really beautiful.” He pushed my hair back. I removed the towel from my head and put it on the empty spot next to me. I grabbed his hand from my hair. I dropped our hands into my lap and fiddled our fingers together. I played with his hand, but it didn't seem like he minded. I lifted our hands, placing one of mine against his. His were bigger than mine, only by a little bit. We both looked at our hands. I interlocked our fingers. I don’t know why I did that, but he didn’t pull away. We looked at each other.

He’s so beautiful. So much prettier than me, that’s for sure.

I put our hands down on my bed. Our fingers were still wrapped around each other.

“Why is it that everytime you come around, I get nervous?” I looked at him.

“I don’t know.” He responded slowly. “But, I think you make me nervous too. I get a tingly feeling around you.” His small confession caught my attention.

My eyes widened. “I get a tingly feeling too. Right.. Here.” I placed his hand on my heart. He held it there, feeling my heart beat.

“Your heart’s racing.”

“I know.”

He looked at me and moved his hand away. He grabbed mine and placed it on his heart.

His heart is racing too. I felt my body go numb.

“Mine’s beating fast too, isn’t it.” He said that as more of a statement than anything.

My breath hitched. I scanned over his face. His cheeks were a light pink. His hair was slicked back into a baseball hat, a little bit sticking out by his ears. He looked so good. I looked at his eyes then down to his lips. He noticed it and I moved my hand away.

I want to kiss him. God, I want to kiss him so fucking bad.

I looked back to his eyes, his finding mine. I looked away from him.

You’re sick, Y/n. No, that’s not important, he has a girlfriend. A beautiful and sweet girlfriend. Someone who doesn’t deserve anything less than Chris. Someone who is way better for him than you could ever imagine.

Chris and Clairissa were perfect together. They’ve been dating since the beginning of our junior year. Everyone knew who they were and who they belonged to. It would be a sin to separate them.

Chris spoke, pulling me from my thoughts.

“I guess I should get going soon. I have a hockey game tonight. You should come.” I looked back at him.

“I know you aren’t feeling well, but if you end up feeling better, come watch it. It starts at 7 at the rink.”

“I’ll think about it.” I smiled softly. He smiled back and patted my head. He stood up and pushed the chair back to its original spot. Chris walked to the door of my room, opening it.

“If I don’t see you later, text me.”

I looked down at my lap. “I will. Thank you again, Christopher.” He grinned.

“Anything for the pretty lady.” My head snapped up. There it was again. He called me pretty again. He turned and shut the door. Soon after, my door opened again and mom walked in. She practically skipped over to my bed, a big smile on her face. She pushed my shoulder softly again.

“He was cute,” She wiggled her eyebrows at me and giggled like a little girl. I smiled and sighed.

“I know.”

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kidfur · 1 year

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i would use dainslief as a mop (affectionate?)

#im still unsure how to feel abt him in terms of like #if i think hes even remotely a good person #but i think hes interesting #khaenriah history is something im not super deep in the lore with #but i am still a khaenriah defender and some of his comments make me raise an eyebrow #nevertheless. dunking him in soapy water and smushing his head on my floor #wishy speaks

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starry-bi-sky · 5 months

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Danyal Al Ghul's missed potential - this kid is not gonna behave like his canon self if he's with the league of assassins until his late formative years, and my reasoning why

(feel free to take this all with a grain of salt this is just my thoughts on it, this is all mostly amusing to me and isn't trying to be negative towards anyone else)

similar to how i was talking about how danny growing up in crime alley would affect him, demon twin aus with danyal al ghul make me laugh a lot (affectionate) because... whose teaching danny to unlearn all the ecofascism he picked up from the league of assassins? whose teaching him to be kind? to be gentle? Not the LoA thats for certain.

(you could plausibly say Jazz but she's only 2 years older than Danny and do you really expect a fellow child to properly explain why X is wrong to another child and have it be 100% effective? i don't doubt it'd help to an extent, but not in the same way an adult explaining it would)

plus a ton of other things, like whose teaching him to value human life? not the LoA. Whose teaching him how to adjust to living with American society after he ends up with the Fentons when he's 8-9-10? Who teaches him that killing is wrong, whose enforcing that?

(not the Fentons if you're going the neglectful parent route, and Jazz can try but i really don't think Danny is going to listen to her, a stranger who isn't even part of his grandfather's league)

How do you teach a child to value human life when the greatest development window for that opportunity has closed and he's already formed his own opinions?

You're not gonna get a Danny whose exactly like his canon attitude if he's staying with the league during his formative years (0-8 years old). you're not. You could get someone LIKE it, potentially, or someone who has traces of it or is similar -- like danny's wit and jokes and sarcasm, and on some level his kindness. but you're not gonna have a carbon copy. Development doesn't work that way. "nature" can only do so much in the face of nurture.

If anything, it doesn't even have to be a major change -- in the league he cans till be kind, but it's probably going to manifest in a different way than what is considered normal. Tough love, for one. But there's gonna be something that affects him negatively. Why make him 'always good/kind' when you can make him a brat who develops into a kinder (if spikier than in canon) person?

TLDR: Danyal Al Ghul would not be like how he is in canon if he's with the league until his late formative years -- not without any lasting pr permanent impacts from the league at least. Missed potential to make him an absolute nightmare like damian was -- especially in his early years when he first arrived to the Fenton house.

(this doesn't apply to danyal al ghul aus where he's either given to the fentons as a baby/is reincarnated/etc. this is mostly aimed for danyal al ghul aus where he fakes his death at like, 7-10 and somehow ends up, personality-wise like his completely canon self by 14 without any differences.)

(and even then if he's five or four, or even three, he would still be traumatized and influenced by the league. he'll just have more time to adjust. the sooner he leaves the league the more likely he is to be like his canon self, but not like an exact copy)

(more under the cut)

Anyways what I'm saying is that there is prime missed Danyal al Ghul potential to make him an absolute NIGHTMARE to the Fentons however way he ends up with them, just like Damian was with the Waynes! Cuz why does Damian get all the fun? Danny got the same training and endoctrine as him! He is also an ex-assassin! Why is Danny the only one who is 'well adjusted and non-violent' hm? Hmm?

Why can't he also be mean, and stabby, and a total stuck-up in some way or another? Have fun with his characterization, its prime opportunity to play play-doh and clay with him! If he starts out as X how does he get the personality traits of Y, and thus become XY?

Like take this with a grain of salt if you will, but make him arrogant. Make him an asshole! Make him a bad person at first! Because he will be! He's the blood son of the batman and you mean to tell me that damian is the only one arrogant about it at first? Make him stabby and mean even at 14 when he's begun to chill out! Have fun with it! If he's with the Fentons at any point past the age of four or five then he's gonna be a nightmare to handle because he still remembers the league and his time there.

(and while it gives him more time to chill the hell out, his time at the league is still gonna leave an impact on him.)

also what im saying as well is have him and sam potentially get along like a house on FIRE. Again, Danny grew up under the views of an ecofascist cult and nobody to challenge those views to him until he got to amity park at whatever age in late formative years he was at. He could be about as intense or even MORE intense about environmental awareness/rights than Sam is!

(also him being supremely unimpressed with Sam's wealth. he gave up a palace in the mountains for this town. because that's funny to me - like let his past have more influence on him! it'll be fun!)

you could have a danny who doesn't kill but doesn't fully understand the value of human life because jazz is like two years older than him and isn't that good at explaining why people's lives are important. he won't kill but he's not morally opposed to it. there's very little chance he actually gets bullied at school because he nearly killed Dash the first time he tried anything.

Danny could have scars, physical ones, because its implied in multiple canon that training starts at toddling (my best bet is 3 at minimum and ~maybe~ 2 but only on the later side of 2. Good fucking luck getting any infant under 2 to do anything you ask, ESPECIALLY assassin training. They're gonna stick the weapon in their mouth sooner than they're gonna do katas. This is coming from a daycare teacher.)

there's more examples of how danny being at the league during his formative years would affect him, but those are just some of them. he could have a sword! An appreciation for weaponry and nature. Maybe he still speaks all shakespearan and formal, does he still make bodily threats to people? If Damian is still threatening people at 14 why can't danny?

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #tldr danyal al ghul has a ton of missed potential of what his behavior would be like if he left the league mid-to-late formative years #this post is specifically directed towards those danyal al ghul posts where he ends up with the fentons when he's like. 8 #like great. who taught him to unlearn all of the LoA's programming #how is he exactly like he was in canon despite being with the LoA during his early childhood #source: i've taken multiple child development classes #this isnt to bash those aus at all its just me thinking its hilarious that danny would even remotely be like his canon personality #especially if he's in the league long enough for damian to remember him #like i love danyal al ghul aus i just think there's not enough being taken into account about how the league would permanently impact him #especially if he leaves later on in life #people are not ponds they are puddles of mud. if you drop a rock into it it's gonna change its shape #its also good creative exercises on how to flesh characters out better and better understand how things in a story may impact a character #good thought exercises with the additional bonus of making danny a violent gremlin like damian is #i dont wanna say this is bashing but i guess it is kinda a criticism on the writing in those aus because you’re telling me this had NO #affect on danny on his personality beyond just ‘oh league bad. league scary’?? cmonnn have some fun #like you mean to tell me that being a child assassin had no lasting impact on him or his personality?? like at all???#he doesnt have an ounce of self-importance/arrogance/anger like damian did?? like none of that *stuck?* he’s just the normal and sane #sibling right off the bat??? five years with the fentons turned him into a complete blankslate?? he has no lasting impact from the league??

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novantinuum · 3 months

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gnawing at the bars of my cage

can we please Stop telling SU blind reactors all the fandom drama and SU crit that came out of every episode so we can allow them to just enjoy the show like a normal person at their own leisure and make their Own opinions thank u

#anyways if i see a SINGLE person comment anywhere from SU s3 to s5 that 'warning the end of s5 is rushed' i will rush right in with #'IN YOUR OPINION'#bc like i know i've beaten this dead horse against the wall a million times but It's Not Rushed Honey it's literally just Fine #it's an Ending #it's Entirely Serviceable #rushed would be if steven pulled a deus ex machina out of his ass at Garnet's wedding and magically healed all corrupted gems by himself #with the power of uwu or whatever #but NO he has to work for his healed corrupted gems #the ones that caused the damage Fix the damage as reparations for the harm they perpetuated #steven learns he is Not His Mom and gains a more stable sense of self #that's all p good and thought out shit to me #i think the ONLY thing that i can remotely point to as potentially 'well damn that was a lot all at once'#was the new fusions one after another. but like come on. why you gonna be mad about that. just enjoy it and have fun brenda #they thought they literally had No More Story and wanted to leave the fans this one last gift #and instead what they get is fans whining that it's 'rushed'#rushed has a shit ass connotation these days #why can't we just say what we mean and call it 'lean storytelling'#it's all the story we needed to get a cohesive ending but without any fat #and like i LOVE me some fat sometimes #but like!! even non fatty meat tastes good!#my god #jen rambles #edited tags to clarify my meaning ahahah

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arttrampbelle · 2 months

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Damn shang your tsungs!

Shang tsung was best in mk11. Just saying.

No shade but it's the truth. Sorry.

(Mini vent in tags sorry)

#thirsting post aside mk11 shang tsung is fun to play even if you don't know how to play #mortal kombat #shang tsung #shang tsung mortal kombat #💚heart and soul🐍#fr tho shang tsung in mk11 is far more enjoyable than mk12/mk1 shang tsung simply because of tagawa's performance #and the fact is alan lees shang tsung while fun and unique he's not a young tagawa he is his own damn person stop comparing him #alan lee stated he doesn't want to be compared to tagawa so plz stop saying he's a young tagawa #they don't sound alike alan lee has the smug infliction but its heavily exaggerated and lighter toned #cary hiroyuki tagawa's shang tsung in the mk 95 movie and him younger has a deeper tone and pitch #listen actually carefully to both of them and their performance they sound nothing alike #people who say that alan Lee's shang sounds like a young tagawa is delusional to themselves into thinking that the game is remotely good #that or they want tagawa back but they don't wanna admit that for some reason #like guys it's ok to like alan lees shang without comparison to tagawa #stop trying to say they sound alike #i swear people be parroting shit they see on x or yt comments ugh #but anyways have shang tiddies enough of my venting #mk11 shang tsung #mk11 #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat 11 shang tsung

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anghraine · 2 years

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I’ve been thinking about the development of Elizabeth’s feelings for Darcy in P&P, and one of the things I find really intriguing is how incredibly careful Austen is in her handling of their physical attraction to each other.

A lot of takes on Darcy’s initial attraction to Elizabeth focus entirely on the physical element, but Austen’s description of it folds together his attraction to her intelligence, her expression, her body, and the “easy playfulness” of her manner. Of these, the earliest mentioned is his realization that her face is “rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes” and her eyes are the physical feature that he seems to dwell on the most.

At any rate, Darcy’s attraction to Elizabeth is established early on (Ch 6) and continues as a thread from that point on. And—I mean, even in 1813, it’s one thing to show a man in his twenties being attracted to the pretty heroine. Austen is a lot cagier about Elizabeth’s feelings.

The narrative is structured so that we know Darcy is physically attractive from his entrance in Ch 3, when the narrator refers to “his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien” along with his wealth. But we’re not in Elizabeth’s head at that point, and iirc, she isn’t shown as saying or thinking anything about his physical attractiveness until she blushingly agrees that he is very handsome forty chapters later.

Even there, Austen leaves the dialogue to stand on its own and tells us nothing of what Elizabeth actually feels about it. The conversation moves to Darcy’s personal virtues, which reveal the critical fact that Darcy is consistently kind and good-natured in the domestic sphere. So Elizabeth’s concession that Darcy is physically attractive is narratively linked to the suggestion that he would make a safe husband, emotionally speaking (although her concession comes first, which may be significant).

Between the initial, omniscient narrator-type description of him and Elizabeth agreeing in Ch 43, we do get references to his looks a few times, but during the period of Elizabeth’s dislike, it’s always either through implication or through someone around Elizabeth rather than Elizabeth herself. So Bingley, for instance, jokes about how Darcy is so much taller than he is, but the narrator only remarks on Elizabeth’s assumption that Darcy is offended by this.

We know that Elizabeth looks for a resemblance to Darcy when she first sees Lady Catherine, and finds it, but this isn’t explicitly linked to her conclusion that Lady Catherine might have been handsome in her youth.

Then there’s the introduction of Colonel Fitzwilliam, when he arrives with Darcy, as “about thirty, not handsome, but in person and address most truly the gentleman.” Obviously the contrast is with Darcy, who is handsome but has less gentlemanly manners, but this isn’t explicitly spelled out. Austen simply says that Darcy “looked just as he had been used to look in Hertfordshire” and moves to the manner of his compliments to Charlotte.

We do get an explicit contrast later, when Darcy, Georgiana, and Bingley come to Lambton (so, after the critical revelations):

Miss Darcy was tall, and on a larger scale than Elizabeth; and, though little more than sixteen, her figure was formed, and her appearance womanly and graceful. She was less handsome than her brother; but there was sense and good humour in her face

Austen breezes past this to Georgiana’s manners and Bingley’s arrival. There are a couple of discussions of Darcy’s appearance earlier at Pemberley, but entirely held between Mr and Mrs Gardiner, who admire his figure while Elizabeth is consumed by embarrassment. She mentions that it was obvious that he had only just arrived via horse or carriage, but not how she knows this or what she feels about it beyond repeatedly blushing.

Then they meet again, he interacts with the Gardiners for awhile, and Elizabeth and the Gardiners leave. The Gardiners discuss the encounter including Darcy’s appearance, and Mrs Gardiner—who at this point, still thinks Darcy has mistreated Wickham—first concludes that Wickham is handsomer, then immediately re-considers and decides that Darcy has perfect features, but not Wickham’s angelic countenance. She (Mrs Gardiner) goes on, “He[Darcy] has not an ill-natured look. On the contrary, there is something pleasing about his mouth when he speaks.”

Elizabeth does not opine on Darcy’s mouth, lol, and instead defends Darcy’s moral character as far as his financial dealings with Wickham are concerned. We don’t hear much more of it apart from that, and in general, we see Elizabeth’s reactions to Darcy more than we hear about them:

Their eyes instantly met, and the cheeks of both were overspread with the deepest blush.

She blushed again and again over the perverseness of the meeting.

The colour which had been driven from her face, returned for half a minute with an additional glow, and a smile of delight added lustre to her eyes, as she thought for that space of time that his affection and wishes must still be unshaken.

Darcy had walked away to another part of the room. She followed him with her eyes, envied everyone to whom he spoke, had scarcely patience enough to help anybody to coffee; and then was enraged against herself for being so silly!

The colour now rushed into Elizabeth’s cheeks in the instantaneous conviction of its being a letter from the nephew, instead of the aunt

She had only to say in reply, that they had wandered about, till she was beyond her own knowledge. She coloured as she spoke

I do not personally think there can be much reasonable doubt about whether Elizabeth is attracted to Darcy during this phase of the book. But the narrative does dance around it enough (for understandable 1813 reasons, I suspect, given that Elizabeth either dislikes or hates Darcy for a significant portion of the book) that it’s not at all clear when she begins to finds him attractive, especially given that she does not actually see him between receiving the letter and acknowledging his attractiveness at Pemberley. So I think there are multiple valid interpretations or headcanons one could come up with for that.

#fun fact: i started writing this bc i was like 'i want to make a post about something trivial i can be concise about'#rip me i guess #but tbh my personal headcanon is that elizabeth /is/ attracted to darcy for a lot of the book but NOT remotely 'secretly in love' or w/e #people will be like 'if the attraction is mutual then what about her dislike are you saying-'#nope! she hates him. in fact she only hates him more bc he's smart and hot and complicated.#in addition to her conviction that he's a terrible person morally #and then she finds out he's actually okay and then that he's actually GOOD and then that he's made himself even better #elizabeth: i tried infatuation at first sight with wickham. now i shall try grown-up feelings like respect and gratitude #three days later: alas... i could have loved him...#some indeterminate amount of time without actually seeing him later: ...oh. fuck.#(i paraphrase. but honestly while elizabeth's realization that half her sleepless nights are darcy's fault is sad it is also very funny)#but yeah i think elizabeth is extremely wary of where attraction to emotionally unsuitable people goes and just buries all that #but once hte brakes go off she falls FAST #also she's genuinely attracted to three different men over the course of one pretty short novel and i love that for her #anghraine babbles #anghraine's meta #austen blogging #elizabeth bennet #fitzwilliam darcy #otp of otps #pride and prejudice #jane austen #long post

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g36a2 · 6 months

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not the worst of lapham's crimes but tommy's short hair being a symbol of recovery was evil.

#this with tommy's ''saving the world'' line is so.#it should have been longer at the wedding.#g36a20p027 #like he doesn't get to keep any of the personality we saw him have prior to his recovery!#''a healthy happy man would not think badly of his brother's military service!'' all that really was the drugs + riley sr speaking #what about loving your brother despite believing the path your father's abuse has set him on is the wrong one... same as you?#what about reckoning with the fact that some of the things your abusive shithead father said were right?#tommy and riley sr shit on simon's service because they wanted to hurt simon. so it would have been the perfect plot twist #had tommy retained those views once recovered and in a better place. impactful even #but of course not. riley sr said those things BECAUSE he is an abusive shithead. and tommy because he was in a dark place #and it's so much more compelling to jumpcut to the most cartoonishly happy family of all time being fridged #like man simon changes the trajectory of tommy's life by loving him and staying with him through the worst of it #meanwhile tommy changes simon's life by fucking dying. and it's tragic but for me the emotional impact of this tragedy is tainted #because out of cowardice the writers kill tommy riley twice #first by discrediting what he stood for while an addict and only then by actually killing him off #you can even still kill him off. simon and tommy have a row about his being in the military and then boom dead family #keep everything about tommy as seen in the comics except have him be a counterweight to simon ''i kill killers not arabs'' riley #extra angst extra unfinished business AND tommy's character is not assassinated #FUCK! the comics could have been GOOD!#this is the exact same reluctance to depict anything even remotely anti-war that led mw3r's dogshittification #which is bizarre since my anti-war tommy conspiracy could still be vindicated through pro-boot eyes #since his role is to die his character coulda had a saving pvt. ryan-esque ''the naive are destroyed by the peace they advocate'' type deal #like them not having tommy believe the things he did post recovery reveal a genuine contempt for anti-war thinking #it's like the writers genuinely thought they wrote tommy overcoming multiple character flaws. nightmarish!#so i guess tommy's short hair is one of lapham's worst crimes as it reveals a disturbingly sincere veneration for the status quo during #twenty-fucking-ten of all times!!!

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waywardsalt · 3 months

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its weird how botw/totk and. pretty much all of the other loz games seems to have entirely separate fandoms at times

#like. how they dont typically intersect if that makes sense? like botw/totk people seem to only talk abt botw/totk #like when ppl talk abt loz ships it doesnt seem uncommon for only botw/totk ships to be mentioned #so botw/totk stuff and other loz stuff seems slightly isolated from each other its kinda interesting #its a little frustrating? bc the botw/totk bits seem to be most popular rn and. i really dont give a shit abt it #granted i holed myself up in my little ph niche corner so nothing i like is going to be popular #but its just weird. i migjt delete this later. idk if this divide is a good thing or a bad thing #but it does feel emblematic(?) of how vastly different botw/totk are to the rest of the series #cuz its like!! i get theres likely an age divide ajd botw/totk are v accessible and new and stuff #and fine if you dont want to branch out from there #but its a little weird how most loz stuff is just Two(ish) games nowadays that barely even resemble everything else #like!!? the most popular link is fucking Blue while hes not even remotely the majority in that its so strange. i prefer green link #idk hiw to explain this??? i think i just have a personal frustration w/ it in how botw/totk are so seperate but eclipse everything else

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13eyond13 · 1 year

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#been thinking about genetics and nature vs nurture and all this sort of stuff a lot lately #and just contemplating why people are the way they are and how much is sort of hardwired vs learned etc.#anyway I'm definitely wayyyy more like my dad than my mom and i think i have actually learned to become sort of the ideal companion #for people like my mom #because my mom is the harder to please and stronger personality in the household who is way more obviously emotional and sensitive #and i empathized with her automatically in a sort of female solidarity way as the household is all boys otherwise #but anyway i know im just naturally like my dad in disposition and humour and looks and everything else but i also know i probably studied #how he handles my mom and her outbursts and insecurities and learned to react to it similarly to him as well #she's a very odd mix of one of the most empathetic kindest people you'll ever meet and also incredibly critical and sensitive to criticism #and she barely ever will tell you you did a good job at anything and will point out mostly only the bad stuff or flaws in whatever you do #yet also HATES that her own mom is exactly the same way and was traumatized by that growing up herself #i honestly 100% believe her mom (my grandma) is undiagnosed autistic and simply doesnt even realize how she comes off but it really #affected my mom growing up and now she is constantly on alert for anything that could possibly be a critique of her and will throw you #under the bus instead if you ever say something even remotely close to negative about her or arent extremely thoughtful about showing up #to the multiple events she hosts every single week #anyway the way my dad usually reacts is just being extremely quiet and steady and dry humoured in reaction to this and when she starts #critiquing him and bringing up all his past failures as a way of making herself feel better about her own bad self esteem he kind of just #takes it and doesnt take it personally because he knows shes doing it for low self esteem reasons #even though its not really fair to him and she would absolutely hate anybody doing the same to her #when i think of my dad's gentle quietness and humour and how much he hates being aggressive or critical i think of when we played a #board game called qwelf once and in the game he was made to act like a drill sergeant and scold and yell at all of us as we moved #our pieces around the board and the best he could do was to mutter stuff like 'get your buns in gear there soldier!'#it makes me lol to remember it my god he simply can't it's the most unnatural thing for him in the world #anyway i always wonder how much of my similarities to him are just genes and how much are learning from him #by watching and admiring and mimicking #because having nieces shows me that kids are absolutely little sponges who try to do everything they see you doing without even knowing #if it's a good thing to be mimicking or not and that can be a bit of a terrifying responsibility as the adult #i am glad i learned good coping mechanisms from dad and how to handle unfair criticism and lack of praise in stride as well but #something i had to teach myself as an adult was how to have healthy boundaries and be assertive when i feel like im being treated poorly #because my parents are both huge people pleasers who struggle with it themselves

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void-tiger · 10 months

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Well…if there’s one (1) good thing about having a crush, it’s that when I’m (for the moment anyway) not worrying about the other person’s boundaries and terror about whether I’ve stomped on them or not + my own frustration at how slow things are to just communicate verbally and directly instead of constantly dancing around nonverbal reads (that are two-way, I suppose but still no substitute, can still mean just about anything)…

…yeah. I do let myself be selfish. Acknowledge what I want instead of burying it so deeply away from my consciousness to not “take up space” I suppose. Finally give myself some damn permission to fall in love with another person “despite” being ace, and “despite” being chronically ill and struggling with my mental health.

And what is it I want?

To feel cared for. Cherished. By someone here. To wake up and have someone greet me with a gentle embrace mindful of the constant chronic pain especially in the mornings to not accidentally pinch things, but not treating me like glass, either. To be given autonomy instead of having it taken away—to do things together, FUN things, without being made to feel guilty about that “taking away” spoons from chores or “well why won’t you just work a job then!” but also respecting my need to rest periodically or take a longer rest after the fact.

To feel heard. To trust that there’s love enough for us to disagree and feel angry and frustrated and sad around eachother and with eachother without judgement, without the risk that things are forever one disagreement or misunderstanding away from falling apart completely or worse.

And please tease me. Teasing is a love language just as much as communication and encouragement and acts of service and finally being held. It’s verbal play, and I trust you to not bully me.

And…I’ve shown as much as I can, I think. I know you’re trying to mirror at least some of it. And I think I’m reading you correctly, but I wish I understood why you seem so terrified to talk directly to me.

#tiger’s musing #screw it. ‘don’t say i’m in love’ or whatever #and well. it will fade eventually. and I am very practiced at Behaving and keeping my feelings to myself #legit always have to do that the very few times I’m liked someone This Ain’t ‘Just’ Platonic Is It #because…guess what. the other person’s comfort and boundaries matters more to me #and friendships aren’t a ‘consolation prize.’ they’re the Good Shit #it’s…just that much harder when there isn’t that Direct Communication With Frequency for me #…bUT!! if he didn’t like me…why does he keep looking at me Like That?!#…right. hang in there for a few more weeks. I did hand over a script as..#…yeah. wonder if he realized /he’s/ the reason I finally found my nerve to write it the way I want #and for all my current ‘will you just RELAX and TALK to me yET?!’ frustration? he’s my muse for joseph!#I needed to see what a GOOD man even remotely looks like just as much as I needed someone like him #to accidentally or intentionally show interest (look. if ya gripe about wanting to do something. PUBLICALLY #(and it’s within my skills to make it available. guess what. I’m gonna call your bluff #(I’m too much of a writer and actress. if I see Checkov’s Gun I’m firing it!)#…does he realize that I basically told everyone off for pressuring him via social media and semi privately?#that the only reason why I started using facebook again was to get people to leave him alone?#(who knows. but that + him…kinda witnessing just How Bad my mental health is? is…when I think there was a turning point. maybe. probably.)#…I suck at socializing in Initial Stages. so much. it’s so uncomfortable #but…screw it. I’ve learned that I’ll use what power I have to change environments and make opportunities #even when it’s (deeply) uncomfortable for me to do so #…because sometimes you gotta blink first to make someone else feel safe. and hopefully latch onto that #and…yeah. guess I am patient. but also griping the entire time

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