#if he does something bad it wasn't his fault/the bad thing wasnt even that bad really/the circumstances made him do it but regardless | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cowboinifaggotini · 5 days

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okay, look far too many people are saying that Blitz was in the wrong here so here are some reasons about why I think Stolas handled this terribly and he is actually in the wrong and not Blitzø (even though both of em are in the wrong)

1. Before we even get to the actual meeting, the fact that Stolas had not prepared Blitz for what was about to happen at all, like he went 'hey come over to have sex'. This is the first thing that makes me feel like even if Stolas deeply cares for Blitz he does not consider his feelings at all. It is just saving a lot of hurt in situations like this to just say "hey come over, we need to talk about something, nothing bad I promise". or anything similar.

2. The fucking book thing. God the fucking book thing, like I don't know how much of Blitzøs emotions Stolas understands but this scene was very much meant to be obvious to him. Like Blitz is convinced he is loosing his job and everything he worked for and the guy he likes (even though he wont fully admit the last one) and he is ranting and begging and tearing up. And. And Stolas is just allowing him to do that. He is like walking to get the crystal and after that explain that everything is going to be okay while Blitz is following him literally begging. For what? For the Dramatic effect? For the grand gesture? What? Like again my issue with all of this isn't that Stolas does not care for Blitz but that he considers his feelings so little that Blitz is getting hurt.

3. The "Why are you giving me this, am I not fucking you good enough? because I can always-I can always do better" getting completely ignored. My man says that he wants for this to continue regardless of the book, and Stolas just acts like this was never said and goes on with his monologue. So when Blitz falsly assumes that he is fucking with him and its all a role-playing sex thing (because a.thats what he was prepared for- sex. and b. lets face it the boy has issues) thats all that Stolas hears, and yes it is one of the most hurtfull things Blitz has done to Stolas so far but is he wrong to assume? Like as blind as Stolas is to how Blitz feels that was something that at least has been hinted to him, in s1ep7 "Ozzies" Blitz literally tells him "our relationship is just you wantimg to fuck me" and does Stolas not reflect on why Blitz might feel that way? What he has done to make Blitz feel that way? When Blitz does the role-playing thing Stolas just stops him thanks him and goes to leave.

4. "the fact that you couldn't believe that I might have these feelings about you, that your first instinct is that its always about sex" I'm sorry?? I'm sorry???? Whose fault is that? I am so upset about this, 2/3rds of their adult relationship is him sexualising Blitz and he gets upset that Blitz internalises it? Like just no self reflection about what he has done wrong in the relationship.

5. Somebody here said that he wasn't victimising himself. He was victimising him self. Like Blitz finally gets a turn to speak after this entire emotional roller coaster of 'lets have sex-am I loosing my job-I have feelings for you- thats cant be real is this about sex?-oh this this wasnt about-more feelings- you dont care about anything but the sex-' and he gets upset, in my opinion rightfully so, considering that what he says is that Stolas cant treat people like this. Stolas has yet to realise how his position of privilege is affecting his relationship with Blitz, but he also didn't realise how he had a privileged position in this entire conversation, I feel like this entire part of the episode where they talked is a representation of Stolas's and Blitzs entire relationship. And after all of this Blitz is upset and he tells Stolas that he used him like his "little butler" (witch he was doing in season 1) and now he is dismissing him without giving him a moment to think about how he feels. He makes it clear to Stolas that this is about class and privilege- and yes he calls him a rich pompous asshole- and he tells him to get to his level-to actually argue with him and not just monologue- and what does Stolas do? say "I think so very highly of you, I didn't realise you think so low of me". This scene, I swear to god. I got ptsd from my almond with this scene. Is he hurt? yes, ofcourse, but once again he completely dismisses Blitzø and all the feelings he just expressed and he says "I love you, you dont love me". That is victimising oneself, if you have been raised by parents that have a tedency to shut down arguments where you tell them they hurt you by saying "oh Im just a terrible parent, I guess you hate me" you see how Stolas reaction is him victimising himself. And then just fully dismissing him and ending the argument because he just wants to even though Blitz still has stuff he needs to say.

#helluva boss #tw dyslexia

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secretcheesecakecat · 1 year

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For the fanfic idea!

TenjikuMikey x fem!reader (or GN!Reader) where he went to her house after the fight. She asks him if hes okay (she wasnt there for the battle) and he tells her that hes fine. He swears by it but then once he goes to change into new clothes in her room, he begins to feel the weight of Izana and Emma dying so he breaks down. Hiccups, sobs and whimpers and the reader finds him with his jacket off, just an absolute mess of a man. :0

{First fanfict, omg im so excited!}

Title: It comes for us all~

Warning: Angst, mention of the dead, angst with fluff, blood

It was one of does days when Mikey, wasn't Mikey. When Toman had a fight, a big one...

--------------------------------

*ding, ding*

The sound of a doorbell wake you up from a dream, a bad dream. You opend the door just to see your boyfriend standing right in front of you, bleeding. Not knowing if it was his or someone else's.

"Mikey...? We talked about this..." You said letting him in the house. "You can't just show up at the time like this Emma will start to worry about you-! Not to meantion you're covered in blood!"

'Emma...' The word that rang in his head. 'Emma is gone, no one will worry about me...' The only words in his head at the moment, before you snap your finger in front of his face.

"Earth to Mikey!" Mikey looked at you, pushing away his sadness. "Im sorry cupcake, i didn't mean to make you mad. But, c-can i stay over the night, please?"

Since you couldn't say no to your boyfriend you let him stay over. "Alright, you know where my room is so go change. Okej?" Mikey looked at you tring to smile. "Mhmm, be right back" As he was walking up to your room, he looked a bit, off....? "Mikey, are you alright?" Your voice shook his whole body, he didn't wanted to worry you, he didn't wanted to lie to you, but he couldn't tell you.... no, not now.

"Yeaaa, im alright. Just, ya know, fight and all-"

"I know, but you never look like that. You sure your good?"

"Yes, im fucking sure-!!"

You both couldn't belive that he yelled at you, he didn't mean to- it was just to much. "[Name], babe im sorry. I didn't mean to-!"

"No, its alright. Go change dear, i'll wait for you here..."

Mikey couldn't fight you know. He didn't wanted to get you mad, he didn't wanted to hurt anyone else, so he just noded and walked into your room.

Mikey started to change his clothes, opening your wardrobe the picture of you, him and Emma standing on one of the shelfs. "Emma..." He said in shaking voice, taking one of the shirts he left at you're house last time he was there.

"Emma, is [Name] right? Would you worry about me if you were here...?"

And here it is again, the sounds. They sounds of Emmas last words, her saying 'i love you big brother' over and over, repeating themselves like a broken tape. Izanas words, his words of hatred towards him. He couldn't take it anymore. He broke down crying and shaking like crazy...

The next thing he knew you opend the door. "Mikey, are you-" you stand there, looking at him, not knowing how to react, "are you okej?"

Mikey tried to stand up, but he was to week. To week and scared to look at you in the eyes.

"[Name], im sorry... They are dead..."

You ran up to him not knowing what to do, who is dead? What is he talking about?

"Mikey? What are you saying, who is dead?"

"All of them!" He cried out, crashing into your arms tring to find comfort. "Emma was killed by Kisaki today, and Izana too!"

The tears fall down your cheek. You bestfriend is dead? And the unknow boy Mikey talked about the other day, saying something about him being Shins brother, got Mikey so shoked.

You hugged him tighter, both you holding onto each other like your lives depened on it.

"It's okej..." You said softly brushing his hair off his face. "It's not your fault-"

"It is! I didn't get to protect them, i- just i-!"

"Shhshhh, its alright..." Pushing his hair off his face so you could look at him closer. "They wouldn't want to see you like this. Not Emma, not even Izana. And-" You pulled away to look at him "Especially not Shin..."

Mikey seemed to have calm down a bit, after you hold him for a while now. And he finaly decided to speak.

"Im sorry for this... im sorry for worring you, i-" He hugged you again. "Just please... promise you won't leave me too..."

Looking at him, his small and week form, kissing his forehead. "You know, sooner or later it comes for us all..."

Melting in you're arms, he spoked quetly. "I know but promise you won't leave me soon... promise you won't leave me soon like they did..."

Standing up, and pulling out your arm for him to reach. "I promise." Smiling at you, he took your hand, you leading him into a living room.

"Let's just cuddle a little and try to watch a movie." You said sitting down on a couch, Mikey following after you.

You cuddle each other for an hour when he falled asleep. When you notice, you kissed him forehead, whispering to him. "Sleep well my angel, while you're on it, I'll protect you from everything and everyone.."

The end <3

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theosconfessions · 9 months

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ohhhhhhhhhmygod okay.. I finished! I am all caught up and I have... FEELINGS! 😭 Mostly, I just want to take a moment and say that I LOVE Theo, and I think he deserves a moment of appreciation. Yes, that's right. This man deserves some recognition for the hard work he put into bettering himself and being there for this family.

I get it.. he fucked up.. I mean, he fucked up BIG time. But he worked on himself and he worked on his relationship... and I just want to point out THIS moment... when Dustin was in the hospital, he'd woken up but wasn't himself and Theo was right there by his side through all of it, making sure everything was taken care of (the best he could) and... I just... this line got me "like every other shitty thing we've been through, we'll figure it out together, okay? always together." 🥹 For me, in that moment, he proved that he is worthy of Dustin, and I may have cried a little.

I know he has his faults, and I don't know what's to come in their future, but I'm rooting for them! 💖

oh my godddd what a thing to see after work. Thank you sooooooo so so much for catching up on these boys and their shenanigans . seeing that you love theo is SOOO nice to hear because he really is hard to love sometimes. even im like eh . haha! but hes definitely multi-layered.

he fucked up A LOT and he has in the recent past which we will definitely be getting into but hes not a bad guy or evil. i think with theo the thing is that he tries to give excuses anytime his actions have consequences and back then he started to see that. especially when dustin was in the hospital. granted his stress wasnt the only stress that dustin was under but it definitely did not help things with his health at all. theo stepping down and not running things because he wanted to prove that he was faithful had an adverse effect. dustins like just control your dick,man and come to work lol. but if theres one thing steady is that no matter what these boys have gone through. no matter where they stray. they always came right back together and thats something theos never had before. sure he had marlee but marlee also had jami when they were married lol. this is the first relationship hes been in that is just FOR HIM. and hes attempted to ruin it countless times i think he just doesnt know his worth . maybe he thinks dustins too good for him. probably still does but theres a reason why dustin stays. and dustin himself does not have a squeaky clean past and i think with how 'broken ' they are.. they see 'why' the other does the things they do. which makes it easier to just kinda fall back in line. they always figure it out together <3 no matter where they are or what theyre doing.

nows a unique situation. theos a lot older. dustins taking on more responsibility with not just the teenagers but the two new babies they chose to have. theos kinda end of life crisis-ing out because i think he realized how big of a dickbag hes been. theyve also gone through a lot in the time jump.

i didnt mean to essay but my passion! haha! thank you so so so much you have no idea how this made my day!

#im long winded today haha

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bunny-heels · 7 months

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Haha I enjoy asking you about our boy Casey. I'm curious tho what you think happened with his marriage and ex wife Miranda. Why did they break up? Or any head canons of why?

not annoying at all Naz! i love this man and i love talking to you :]

ive said before that i dont think the divorce is Casey's fault, at least not entirely. from what he said to Kiran, im thinking what mustve happened is Miranda got with Casey fully knowing that he was an FBI agent, but she just, never really accepted it. she never liked that he had a dangerous job that put him in danger and also probably kept him away from her a lot.

i would say the only part of it that's really his "fault" is that he decided to get into the romantic scene when he knew he couldnt really be there for his lover because of how busy it all gets. but honestly, if Saga can have a husband and a 14 year old child and still be part of it, why couldn't Casey? and there are definitely people out there who have lovers that take dangerous or time consuming jobs and they're still together through thick and thin, so again, why not Casey?

Miranda just wasnt it. she couldnt handle Casey putting himself out there in the world in vulnerable states and risk him never coming back home, or spending so much time away that they just lose interest for each other. the thing is, it's very clear Casey doesnt have any ill-will towards Miranda. he does have the line where he was "only lost once in his life, the years i spent with my ex-wife." but i think that's more of a resentment towards the relationship and not towards her. but she apparently wasn't the same because it got to a point where she WANTED him to be in danger and wanted him to go disappear.

i mean Casey even confessed to Saga that after the divorce he was clearly very depressed and had nobody there for him other than her and her family. and when he's injured by Scratch/The Dark Presence, he thinks to himself that he needs to call Miranda to apologize. but i doubt he actually has anything to apologize for other than being rightfully upset that his lover pretty much started hating him and even wanting him to die. i think if Casey actually did something bad, Saga would know about it and they probably wouldnt be as close. but she literally loves that man to death and considers him family. you wouldn't think that way about someone if they were really a bad person.

i want him to be okay and taken care of and comforted so bad :[

#alan wake #alan wake 2 #alan wake ii #alex casey #remedyverse #remedy entertainment #remedy connected universe #the bun answers

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niishi · 1 year

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how is sanjis loyalty flimsy.. hes been willing to sacrifice his life for his crewmates as far back as arlong park. and if he wasnt also extremely loyal what would the point even be of oda adding in the scene of him trying to sacrifice himself instead of zoro in thriller bark. given his circumstances in wci citing that as a sign of lack of dedication seems kind of unfair to his character.

first off, I'm not personally attacking Sanji bc,,,, he's a cartoon character,,,,, and all I'm trying to do is sus out the intentions of the story telling so pls, if you're getting personally offended for sanji, there's no need for that. I love sanji. I'm not like... shit talking him..... anyways, he puts strangers second to the crew quite often. that's facts. even if it's portrayed as silly and his pervyness, he does. he was writing goodbye letters to all of them in his head after he met viola. he's the only one in the crew to put something/someone else before the crew pretty much ever(usopp that one time) like honestly I didn't even think of wci when I wrote this bc I think wci is one of the moments where he grows and becomes a more cemented part of the crew. sanjis always kinda been the crews loner. and you mention thriller bark but Sanji put namis life in danger several times so he could beat up a guy who had a devil fruit he wanted. he put the thought of peeping on naked women above namis safety. I'm not saying bad things about Sanji. I'm just noticing canon moments that are consistent with his character and saying exactly what it is. yes sanji has many reliable moments. he has many unreliable moments as well. along with now having issues with his genetics (not his fault) but makes him a wild card nonetheless. I think wci needed to happen to prevent anything going sideways with Sanji bc it started to make him realize he wasn't on the outside looking in, and made him realize who really loves him and is really on his side. Sanji comes in clutch only AFTER he's made a huge mess by being unreliable(not always but very often) (wano and leaving the weaker crew to themselves again so he could try to spy on naked women). I could get sooooo deep into this. I'll write my full assessment down after I read the manga. rn I'm just getting thoughts out.

also edit: the thriller bark scene only portrays how Sanji others himself from their group and came across more suicidal than anything. I think his loyalty came in when he kept what Zoro did a secret. that scene portrayed loyalty. the scene with kuma portrayed "I'm worthless compared to all of you and my life has the least amount of value so it should be me" even though not a single one of them would agree.

#asks #ask #anonymous ask #if ur not mad or personally offended then cool we can keep talking #also srry i did mention wci but only bc of the development with germa and his genetics and familial ties

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our-inspire-verse · 5 months

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I am! Not great again! Why I'd did that. Stuff /VeryNegative under the cut

Just. Jesus fucking christ when will these flashbacks stop. I SAW myself die again. And then i also, MORESO have to watch Alder find me again and again. He fucking. Kept yelling my name. He kept calling for me, desperate. He was so hurt. I was already cold. He couldn't do anything, it wasnt his fault. But he tried so hard. And then he sat there for so long.

How could i have not known. Twice. There was an attempt in my timeline but thank fucking GOD i failed. Can you fucking imagine I'd succeeded? Was it better he was alone? What would it have been like if Dan and Cadance were there and i succeeded? Because they helped him when i failed. But something broke in the other timeline within him. I can see it in the way he put his hand on my shoulder. That was something he did in our lifetime, he'd just gently stroke my shoulder. It grounded me, it was affectionate, it felt really nice. I can sense the thoughts in his head. "He can't feel this now"

I've been gone for hours. I probably was before he ever could have made it home. I was alone in my room like that for sO long and i died afraid. Thats all i can think about was how afraid i was. I didn't think anyone cared about me, i know i was more isolated from Dan in this universe. I know i was more cruel to myself. And knowing these are facts of how these things work is one thing. Actually seeing where that switch over was, thats another. The way that allowing love into your life saves you in impossible to know ways. You have to allow people to love you.

You will die without it.

And knowing i didn't have a chance to be saved in this one. Knowing there was a real possibility of it going bad, it wasn't just a silly cry for attention written by a sad artist. It was the possibility of my mental health taking over and ruining my father's(chosen) life. It was the fact that i do have an impact on my future and i have to decide to have one. Theres nothing i can do to help either damned soul now, there's something so uniquely heart shattering about having to live with grief like this. It is not mine, it is of mine. It is of me. It is a holy sensation that i regard with vile distaste. The feeling is important, more important than a lot of things.

Growing up this life i never thought i would live past 10. Then a lot of other numbers. How original. How horrible. It actually is horrible. Desensitization makes. These numbers these thoughts, its hard to recognize im sad about it since its so normalized. But being 7 and suicidal isn't. And i cant believe i carried that and my past life all this time like this. And now that im so aware, ill carry it differently. I can't believe i lived so long. I cant believe im gonna KEEP living so long. I havent felt genuinely suicidal in ages. I can be real, and say the idealization is there, but it's more about the fantasy of getting help for it. But recieving memories like this reminds me of how bad that hurt. For decades. And how bad it hurt alternate or past selves, and those loved ones there. I'm so sorry Alder, i desperately wish there was anything i could do. To take it back, to help heal, to love you better than i did. Your cabin stayed empty, my room stayed where it was, and you stayed alone. Dan stayed over, but not much. You never got to know Cadance. You met briefly and never became friends.

I did all of that. Everything was actually because of me. I can't take that right now. I was resting and these memories wont stop. It's incredible though. How bright the sun is from up here. How even though pain burns more intensely than it usually does from this height, so does the love. How much the love permeated in every crack and crevice last life. How i let the light in and hope filled us all up. Even during loss and pain and torture, even losing each other. It was okay. Because at least it happened.

#teehee aaaaaaaaa #trauma #rambling #long post #vent #do not reblog #obviously #mentally ill #past life #pseudomemories #pseudotrauma #inthrum bickerman #suicide #trigger warning #tw #forreal this ones bad lol #i mean. like most of it. im talking about a memory where i killed myself. so if you need to know.#but at the end i get beautiful and poetic! and hopeful and soft its great #but yeah its horrible rn

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komoreangel · 3 years

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𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 (𝐫𝐞𝐪)

pairings: scaramouche x fem!reader, childe x fem!reader

scenario: one of the fatui’s new recruits is too quick to act, and the consequences will be disastrous.

request: Angst Idea: Scaramouche and Childe with a s/o who was killed by a new Fatui recruit, who thought she was an enemy? She isn't part of the Fatui, but she's just there to watch them

reply: i can already hear the hearts breaking,,, thank you anon :)

scaramouche

they told him there was no use trying to save you

some beginner mage had accidentally cursed you while trying to protect him

how were they supposed to know that it was one of the most ancient spells in all of the history of teyvat

originating from guizhong, goddess of dust

any victim of the curse would begin to break apart, and eventually they would fade away

the goddess was not cruel, and so made it a painless death

but is any death truly painless?

and so here you were, lying on a cot in his tent, withering to pieces before his eyes

"i don't want to go yet...i can't go yet."

you were gripping his shirt, tears staining your face

"there was so much i wanted to show you. the sakura forest. the..the waterfalls in jueyun."

you were practically spitting out any words you could think of, the fear overriding your ability to articulate your words

he could hear the fear in your voice

"i want to stay here, please, don't leave-"

you broke into a coughing fit

he couldn't stand seeing you like this

"i wanted things to stay like this forever. you and me."

this time he couldn't hold back his tears

this wasn't fair

what did he do to deserve this?

that was an easy question

but what did you do to deserve this?

and all because you chose to be with him

this was indirectly his fault

he clutched your head close to his chest

"i don't want to die."

your voice was barely a whisper in the wind

no, not yet

not yet

give it a minute

just one more minute

he wasn't ready

don't take her yet

he blinked back the burning in his eyes

and you were gone

the lover he had held in his arms so many times, with care that you'd think was impossible for someone like him was nothing but a memory

no body to bury

one of the medics came into the tent

"my lord, is everything alright?"

he stayed silent

he knew if he talked, his voice would break

waiting for them to leave felt like eternity

he closed the entrance and stared at your cot

as much as he wanted to he couldnt break down into tears

he hadn't experienced death before

most people usually felt sad

at least from what he'd heard

but the only thing he felt was an intense frustration

he should've been able to save you

you weren't supposed to go like that

he wanted to scream out, to shout, to kick something

should've, could've, would've

cant. couldnt.

without you he lost all regard for his own wellbeing

whether he lived or died no longer mattered

he was more reckless, and he who once looked at the world with interest, as if to see what it could give him, now gazed upon everyday life with a cold indifference

anyone could see that

it's safe to say he never loved anyone again

childe

his chest heaved up and down

he couldnt breathe

he couldnt see

it was like someone had taken a baseball bat to the world

as it fell apart like glass at his feet

you were in his arms

however, you weren't moving anymore

but that had to be impossible, right?

why would you stop moving?

it's the same as asking, why would the sun stop rising?

he was running

somewhere along the way you had stopped talking

but what had you been saying

something about...the sky

that couldn't be true, it was pitch black outside

you two had been on a date

he had come back to snezhnaya for the month

after being in liyue for days on end, it was easy to say that you missed him

he had planned the whole day out for you two

it was supposed to be perfect

'it was supposed to' isnt that what everyone says about death

wasnt supposed to, shouldnt have

they all describe it as an unfortunate accident

a mistake

and looking down at you thats what he wanted to believe in that moment

he wanted so desperately to believe he was dreaming

that any second now he'd wake up

but if life's taught him anything

it's that the world is all to fond of killing dreams

and when the ones who protected them aren't there anymore, what happens?

one of dottore's new assistants had mistaken you for an assassin when he handed you one of his knives to toy with

and as the tsaritsa trains her people to be quick and diligent...before he knew it, four daggers were sprouting from your chest

you fell into his arms, heavily breathing and your eyes focusing in and out

in the end, all it took was his bare hands

he supposed he should be appalled at that

you would've said something

he doesn't even know where he's going at this point

all his sense of reason has gone out the window, it left the moment you cried out in pain, the sound of a blade whizzing through a body all too familiar to him

the weight of what had happened suddenly too heavy, he sinks to his knees in the grass

he would pray, but to what god?

what god out there would give someone like him mercy?

it was like suddenly, the world had decided to take one of the few good things he had left

after you're gone, his family can tell that he doesn't care for anything that much anymore

he loves his family, of course he does

but simple things that used to make him smile dont anymore

some would even go so far as to say that the abyss had its hold on him again

he walks around, a husk of the person he used to be

lost in memories and broken promises

a/n: im just going to apologize because i am SO bad at writing angst like i have no clue what im doing lmao but i did try my best-

and i have one more request pending before i open them up again so <3 wooooo :D

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misterbitches · 3 years

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i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

#history 4 #history 4: close to you #*dont call me western ever #a thot

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bebeimagine · 3 years

Text

⚠️T.W⚠️ sexual abuse

Dear mum,

I have a few things that I need to say. It's not going to be easy to explain it and it's not going to be easy for you to understand. I don't need you to write me back or to call. I need to tell you why I was and why I am who Iam now standing in front of you.

The first time I tired to kill myself was when I was 9 years old. I use to take dad's strong painkillers but it never worked. I always had this feeling that something was wrong with me. I was broken in a way that I didn't understand.

I have figured it out. I've been talking to my therapist about this and I was so worried that i wouldn't be believed that this was all my fault and this gulit that I've carried is all mine.

I remember what happened that day, the day that everything kind of changed inside of me. It was me and caroline and her step dad.

I've only been there 4 times which I remember. Once was to see some really cute kittens, once where he stroked my ponytail and gave me coleslaw with raisins in it. Once when Caroline showed me what she does under the covers and the last time was the incident.

I don't want you to think the worse and I was OK. But I need to get this out of me.

Me and her was laid on the carpet floor in front of the TV and he was in the sofa behind us. He called for her to come to him and she straddled his leg. He was stroking her face and she was rubbing herself on him then she was sat on his lap moving back and forth. I thought it was a bit weird and carried on with my colouring.

He called me over and asked me to sit on his knee with both my legs either side and told me to move back and forth. He kisses me on my mouth and ran his hands over my hair down my neck over my chest to my legs.

I looked at Caroline and she said it's OK you will like it.

Things are a little confusing here and I don't really remember the details but I know at some point at the end me and her was between his legs and was holding his genitals and stroking it. He told us to lick it, use our mouths and she did and I was watching. She was showing me what to do. Then this stuff was everywhere he told me to eat it but I didn't like it and she finished eating it.

I know he didn't rape me and I know he didn't hurt me. He wasnt violent or horrible like you imagine a person that is capable of that was like. He spoke softly and was gentle and I wasn't scared I just knew it was wrong.

I don't remember seeing him again but I remember you telling Helen that he was arrest for doing stuff to Caroline and he use to pay her a pound when she went there for the weekend. I remember you saying about the jelly babies being in the tree and then she had to show them what he was doing.

I remember I was shaking on the inside and i was going to go to prison too. I remember feeling it was my fault and that what happened was so bad so so bad that means I'm a bad person too.

Looking back and talking to the therapist she explained to me that how I was feeling is normal. I even worried about me becoming like that too, because you hear that most people that was abuse as a children go on and abuse, becoming the abuser.

Anyway this letter wasn't ment to make you feel bad or for you to feel sorry for me. I just needed to tell you. And maybe it will make sense why I was the way I was. Not making excuses but now I understand why I dont like certain things why I felt left out and I wasn't in control of my feelings. Why I pushed the boundaries trying to figure out will that happen again if I was a bad.

This was my biggest secret that I've keep telling myself wasn't true. But I'm stronger now and can say it did.

I'm sorry if this has upset you. But I'm OK. It doesn't affect me like it does in movies or books, and think that's because it wasn't violent and it only happened once as I can remember.

Thank you for reading this.

#bpd problems #borderline problems #borderline things #actually bpd #quiet bpd #bpd feels #bpd thoughts #bpd tag

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tangledinart · 5 years

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i never wanted to say it before but i feel you on the cassandra stuff tbh, her type of character is actually one that i'd normally love and despite her taking a while to grow on me in season 1 i DID come to really like her and i love her voice and her design too! but personally i was so sure that she wasn't going to become an antagonist that destinies collide's ending just frustrated and confused me, and now her storyline in season 3 is frustrating and confusing me even more and it doesn't (1/2)

help that its entire basis is not one but TWO theories i personally never believed in or wanted (her going bad + being gothel's daughter). and i also agree that she tends to overshadow other characters a lot and i hate it. the movie was nearly as much about eugene as it was about rapunzel, and his best friend lance apparently doesn't even deserve so much as a new outfit. i love this show and i wanna love cass again but i'm just kinda annoyed right now and i hope something comes to change my mind (2/2)

I completely agree with you! When we first met Cass it took me till Secret of the Sundrop to like her... At first I didn't trust her, and I also already was annoyed that she wanted to cut Eugene out of everything, but I learned to appreciate her in early S2 and now I can go back and watch S1 and love Cassandra and she completely gained my trust! I think her bickering with Eugene is so funny and that she was such an inspiring character who I could relate too so much and she meant a lot to me. But then episodes like Freebird, or Rapunzel and the Great Tree, or Rapunzel Day One came rolling around... I was starting to get irritated because I felt like Cassandra was overshadowing all of the characters (tho I'll still forgive Ratgt because buddy is so funny and its a phenomenal episode XD). Eugene and Lance never get anything when Cass is being focused... Its not like I am mad when Cassandra gets focus I think she did deserve focus, I just get mad when she is focused and the other characters like Eugene and Lance, AND NEW DREAM AS A COUPLE are neglected or poorly written and Freebird is the best example. And I actually was happy Cass was getting focus in S2 at first cause she didn't get a ton in season 1, but when it started overshadowing Eugene and Lance I got upset. Eugene deserves to not be poorly written in episodes because of Cassandra and LANCE DESERVES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER ARC FOR PETE'S SAKE. So when Cassandra somehow got into No Time Like The Past... I was very angry because I've been wanting to know Eugene and Lance's backstory for 2 years and honestly it wasn't even a backstory, and all I really enjoyed were some moments and seeing all the younger characters! But I was heartbroken that it wasn't at all that we expected and it was all done for Cass and Eugene's character has actually been changed, she literally is getting focused in the next episode Beginnings so she did not need to even be mentioned in this one and Eugene did NOT need a character change and should be able to have a valid opinion that Rapunzel doesn't agree with, that episode made it look like Eugenes opinion was wrong and it pissed me off... I would of much rather had Lance and Eugenes actual backstory and I know several people who agree with me. And I'm really upset with Cassandra rn, i don't think her reasoning to betray Rapunzel is good enough. I think Cassandra's betrayal is terrible for several reasons, 1 everyone who assumed Cass would be an antagonist was proven right and I hate it cause Cassandra deserved better, and less predictable writing and I completely agree with you saying the two worst theories came true..... 2, she is overshadowing the other characters even more with this arc and its beginning to become overwhelming because Cassandra got so much in S2 and its getting annoying.... 3, her being Gothels daughter is not a good enough reason for her to betray Rapunzel especially after how close Rapunzel and Cass were and also I don't think its logical that Gothel had a daughter and I found it cheap and I expected better. That was my least favorite theory in the show for multiple reasons and I am mad it came true and Cassandra deserved better. And Rapunzel deserved better, Rapunzel already had to deal with Varian's betrayal and this one is WAY worse and even harder for her, because Cassandra is her best friend and GOTHEL is the reason it happened and Rapunzel DID NOT deserve to have to be pained by Gothel again and I'm so upset.

I can understand why Varian betrayed Rapunzel because Rapunzel actually did hurt Varian, there was nothing she could do during Qfad and its not her fault but Varian had a right to be upset, especially because no one ever came to him afterwards until he reached out to Rapunzel with the note. I do not and never will justify Varians actions in S1 but he had every right to be upset and everything he did was to try to save his dad, what he did was terrible but he had good intentions for his dad at least and he thought it was his last resort to get his dad back, so with Varians betrayal I could see why and it made complete sense!.... But I just can't see why with Cassandra's betrayal. Its not Rapunzel's fault that Gothel chose Rapunzel over her, and its not Rapunzel's fault that her hand got burned. And what does taking the moonstone accomplish for Cassandra? Just to be noticed? FOR WHAT?! Cassandra wanted nothing more but to be recognized for the good things she's done and she is gonna do nothing more with that moonstone then destroy and jeopardize the people she wanted to be recognized for good in the first place. And I feel like its a disgrace to Cassandras character and I dont see how she is going to get a satisfying ending now. I don't see how she is going to reach her dreams now and it breaks me because I wanted Cass to get her moment of glory like she wanted so bad and this isn't it. This isn't what Cassandra wanted.... Varian had time to redeem himself, he completely had an attitude change and took responsibility for his actions and made amends with Rapunzel and he has a whole season to get fully developed for his ending... but Cassandra? There is a chance she will be like this till finale and she will just get some rushed redemption or not even get one at all. So unless she gets out of this around midseason I don't even know how they can give Cass a good ending. And yes I'm also aware Cassandra is being manipulated and lied too and is being corrupted but she is still aware of what she is doing and she chose this... and I'm upset cause I truly loved Cassandra and am heartbroken and yes I am confused and don't even completely understand why she did this and don't know where they are going with this. At Destiny's Collide I had no solid opinion on MoonCass cause I had no idea why she did it, but now I'm also confused and frustrated because what we did find out wasnt good enough to me and they have a lot to prove to make me like this arc. And I hate not liking something and have to depend on hope that maybe just maybe it will get better. I hope to goodness it gets better and I haven't given up on Cass yet but right now I don't like her. I just think her new arc is so cheap and predictable and could of been executed so much better, and the worst part is the other characters are paying for it.

-Rapunzel already had to go through a betrayal and shouldn't have to go through this again and its also distracting her cause she is hurting so bad. It hurt her so much in priemere she tried isolating her feelings and its definitely still affecting her. (But I'm also proud as heck of Rapunzel for stepping up and ruling Corona through all of this.)

-Eugene is always poorly written or neglected when Cass is getting focused. Cassandra is treated as if she is more important then Eugene and its ridiculous. Eugene is an original character from the movie and should be prioritized before Cassandra instead of being used as comic relief in Cassandra episodes.

-Lance has yet to get a character arc and has only been used for comic relief, and I haven't forgotten that Cassandra told Lance that everyone has a destiny and Lance needs his. And I don't really see how Lance is supposed to get an arc with this Cassandra plot. Though I guess I can't really predict that far, but LANCE BETTER GET AN ARC HE DESERVES IT.

-Varian's redemption was used as a tool to help Rapunzel cope with Cassandra's betrayal. He has always been used as a tool for the plot and I'm afraid he is going to only be used as a tool for Cass's situation this season instead of his own thing because they resolved his situation so fast.

Sorry if this was too negative for some of you but I've been upset about this for a bit and its best I get it out. I really hope the crew knows what they are doing here and that Cassandra's situation somehow turns out really good, and I haven't completely given up on her and I still hope she comes out of this good... but right now I'm upset at the direction her character took.

#inbox #leosaku #Cassandra #tangled the series #Rapunzel's tangled adventure #tts spoilers #rta spoilers

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astoria00 · 5 years

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Salem set Cinder up to fail

Seeing as we slowly reach the end of vol 6, I thought I get this theory out before it's too late XD

So what brought me to the idea that Salem set Cinder up to fail?

The first piece for that puzzle can already be found in vol 4 episodes 11 and 12. In episode 11 Cinder was clearly struggling, “holding back“ as Salem put it. The very next episode nothing of that remained though and we see her utilize her rage and anger to overcome whatever held her back before, burning an illusion of Ruby with Salem smiling very satisfied in the background. Nothing strange so far...until we ask ourselves the following question: Who even came up with this idea to use Emerald's semblance? For a while I had believed Cinder herself was the one who thought of this, but the more I rewatched and analyzed Cinder related scenes I realized it had to be Salem. She was essentially treating and aiding Cinder's recovery and obviously in charge of her training as well. Now you could argue that Cinder still could've pitched the idea to her, but remember how she acted in vol 4 overall? Insecure, lashing out, easily angered, lost, in pain. Sure, she was mad and frustrated, but her anger lacked focus. She wasn't only angry at Ruby at that time, so her coming up with this idea doesn't seem likely, it had to be Salem's. And seeing as Salem is a master when it comes to anger and vengeance it even makes a lot of sense. So Salem actively pushes Cinder into a vengeful mindset to help her overcome the trauma that held her back. Can't wait to watch you burn indeed XD

But this alone doesn't prove that Salem set Cinder up for failure, so let's jump into volume 5 episode 2, where it becomes more and more a possiblility.

Throughout that scene we see Cinder being awefully triggered by the mere mention of Ruby alone, so much that Salem even reigns her in at some point. That clues us in just how her mindset is at this moment. Even after the report is over, Salem immediately picks up on the fact that Cinder is feeling unruly and rather wants to use force than cooperation, just like she was pushed to do in her training. So Salem knows this, she knows she pushed Cinder into vengeance, she knows Cinder is overly triggered when Ruby is mentioned and she knows she'd rather use force than trying to manipulate the bandits and Raven Branwen...but she still puts Cinder in charge of the mission.

Now why would she do something so risky? We all were able to guess what Cinder would do, so it would be laughable if Salem didn't. So Salem put her in charge deliberately.

Another small, but maybe not unimportant detail is the scene right after assuring Cinder she will get the power she promised her and telling her to be careful in a sense, because there was only so much she could do to guide her, Salem stops her and tells her to inform Tyrian that she “whished to have a word with him.“

I believe I was not alone in the assumption, thinking she wanted to chew him out because of the Qrow thing, but why draw attention to this fact? Why use animation for something like that?

Because Salem talking to Tyrian is important later on and I will come back to this at a later point.

But first let's go back to vol 5 and the whole attack on Haven. A lot of people found Cinder's behavior at Haven in regards to Ruby and her lack of reaction inconsistent, illogical or simply bad writing, and seeing how I already pointed out that Cinder was triggered by Ruby before, I feel compelled to clear this up some more.

Cinder was 'pushed' into seeking vengeance against Ruby. We were led to believe she would react to her on sight, when in reality she had only ever reacted to her being mentioned. Yes, we saw her burning an illusion of Ruby, but it is still miles away from being ready to face the real thing, the actual person. Cinder parallels Yang in that regard. Both were traumatized badly and were not ready to face the one responsible for that, just that Yang was able to deal with her trauma in a more healthy way than Cinder. With that in mind and seeing that she didn't even risk looking at Ruby once, we can safely assume Cinder wasnt ready. And the person who definitly knew that send her to lead the attack at Haven, even though knowing full well that Ruby was there. Salem didn't call Cinder's change of plan off when Watts told her either. She could have done something, but she didn't.

When she confronted Lionheart and he tried to blame it all on Cinder, she appeared more bored than anything. Even if we assume she already knew that Cinder changed the plan, she couldn't have been sure it was Cinder's fault things went south, but she really just looks bored out of her mind, as if she expected most of this to happen. She made sure to to push Cinder into a mindset that made her overly predictable and out her in charge after all.

Now you could argue that Salem was pretty angry about not getting the relic, but the thing is...Salem hadn't facored in EVERYONE failing. If Blake hadn't brought the Faunus backup, Hazel's group would have clearly won against team Rwby and co. They were already having the upper hand and if Adam had succeeded in blowing up the school it would've been them who would need to retreat, leaving room for Salem's faction to either go after the maidens, though Cinder would've already been defeated at that point, to retrieve the relic from Raven, or they wouldn't have found either of them, which would have probably prompted them to visit Raven's tribe once more. Salem deliberately had enough components in this plan of hers, that Cinder failing wouldn't factor in in the end.

So her anger in vol 6 ia still understandable, it is just not really directed at Cinder.

Now we come to the most interesting part (at least for me XD). Why would Salem even want to make Cinder fail?

We may not know Salem's ultimate plan or end goal at the moment, but she apparently needs Cinder in some kind of broken up like state and she is clearly not finished, as we can see in vol 6.

In episode 4 she deliberately pressured Emerald to give up Cinder's name, even though it was clear to all of them whose name Salem expected and wanted to hear. One could argue that she asked Hazel first, but actually she didn't. We just presumed Hazel was the one the question was directed to, but Salem never specified him to answer. This also ties into my theory I made about Emerald naming Cinder and there being consequences for that, and with episode 9 we got even more hints that could strengthen this.

Salem wants Cinder to hit rock bottom. She pushed her into rage and vengeance and set her up to really lose this time around. Now she is working on removing the only bonds Cinder still has, her subordinates, and she does so with Tyrian's help.

Let's recap. In vol 5 she asked Cinder to tell Tyrian that she wanted to talk with him, right after sending the girl off on a mission she was supposed to fail anyway. And then, in vol 6, we have Tyrian constantly messing with both Emerald and Mercury. When they firat come back in ep 4, he immediately bugs them. He didn't seem in the slightest surprised that Cinder wasn't with them and he specifically focused on Emerald. If Salem really only wanted to punish or reprimand Tyrian again, he wouldn't have been that cheerful at Hazel's return. Furthermore Tyrian messing with them on his own volition seems unlikely. They still are, for all purposes, their allies and as long as someone is useful, I don't think he would try to get them to leave in fear of angering his goddess. It would be pretty bad for him to mess with people Salem might still want to use. Him stirring trouble now, two times in the row, overly fixated on Cinder's subordinates, even going as far as to indirectly tell them they should go and disobey Salem's orders? After Salem herself made sure to have Emerald sell Cinder out? Those would be very strange coincidences indeed, seeing as she is also the one trying to isolate them from Cinder.

All of this might just be an elaborate plan of hers and seeing as we talk about the person who manipulated kings and queens into rebelling against the gods...I could envision her doing just that.

Then again, it's only one of my theories, but I really like this one XD

#cinder fall #rwby #salem rwby #rwby theories #just my theories #team firefly #i like longwinded plans and manipulations xd #cinder you better be prepared xd

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tenacityreturns · 6 years

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This is not how them meetong again was suppose to go. It wasnt. It wasn't suppose to bring up memories of him and tatsuya, or memories of aomine and kagami laughing but it does and his fingers hover over the send button before taking a deep breath. Sends it to kagami. "Hey, look at this picture of all four of us i found while cleaning. figured you could send it to those two.",

context: my hc for future verse aokaga is them going off to america when they’ve finished high school, and being in a relationship at this point. then stuff happens and they decide to split up, but they meet every so often as friends w/ benefits, usually when their teams play against each other, and they THINK they’re airy and chill and have a fun sexy relationship but really they’re both sad and no one feels quite perfect for them as aomine to kagami or kagami to aomine. but they’re not just gonna TELL that to each other, even tho they both kinda KNOW they feel the same. it’s embarrassing. it’s been too long. so they just exist. and occasionally make out. also, aomine & kagami, and nijimura and tatsuya used to go out for double dates ALL THE DAMN TIME.word count: 2408genre: fluff? angst? it’s angst. but soft! soft angst.

While Nijimura couldn’t act on his impulses to get with Tatsuya (Kagami could tell there was still bad blood between them), the redhead could. So, he did. Kagami spent a few days after meeting with his old roommate in inner turmoil over the past. He missed his ex, felt frustrated. So he hopped on the next flight to fucking Ohio to visit Aomine fucking Daiki, who Kagami was absolutely sure he was still in love with. How many years had it been since they were an official couple? Six? And how many times this year had they met up as FWB? Four? How many years had that been going on for? Six? Yeah. Clearly, Kagami had no real intention of letting Aomine go that easily. They said it was just physical, and because even though they didn’t want to date, they still felt attracted to each other. Maybe it was that. But no one else got Kagami as well as Aomine did. No one else knew exactly what made him tick (among other things).

It had started out pretty terribly. He’d arrived, unannounced, on Aomine’s doorstep. There were no excuses prepared, you’d have thought Kagami would have thought about these while on the plane. But no, he had nothing to say. What was there? They both knew what the situation was. His skin had missed Aomine’s, the spaces between his fingers had missed how Aomine’s fingers fit perfectly between.

Lips. Hands. Bodies. Sofa. Wall. Laughter. Bed. Soft words, softer touch. He could tell Aomine missed him too, though they never said it. That made it worse. Even though it made his chest swell when he discovered that he’d interrupted Aomine’s plans to go to a party (because that invariably meant making out with someone else), the words between the lines were uncomfortable and raw. I choose you, Aomine said but didn’t say.

But distance made it complicated, their lifestyles made it difficult, their stubbornness made it worse. They’d settled into a rut of refusing to admit that they still loved one another aloud, after all this time, and now it felt like they were slowly convincing themselves. Except when their bodies touched, and insufferable fireworks interrupted their self-inflicted loneliness.

It was terrifying loving someone and thinking you weren’t meant to be together. There was an emotional block between them, and it never ended well when they’d try to discuss it to get passed it (mostly because neither of them wanted to). The last time they’d tried, they ended up arguing for over six months.

This was not how his meeting with Nijimura was supposed to go. It wasn’t. It wasn’t supposed to bring up old memories of youthful happiness. Maybe he could blame the dry spell, maybe he was due a meeting with his FWB, and it wasn’t Nijimura’s fault for reminding him about it at all. Not that Kagami blamed him, and not that he was really complaining. It was just… these ‘meetings’ with Aomine were bittersweet, because they could forget about everything for a few hours, but afterward, it’d be weeks until Kagami stopped thinking about him. Aomine was an old wound he had no intention of letting heal.

Kagami was laying in Aomine’s arms when he got the text. Early morning, the buzz of a new text woke the both of them up. Kagami retrieved his phone, but when Aomine spotted that it was a picture from Nijimura, he said some hollow threat about how it better not be a dick pic, before snatching the phone. He opened the image before Kagami had a chance to do anything about it, and suddenly they were face to face with a blast from the past. Moments flew in silence, both fixated on the image Aomine held high above their heads as they lay in his king-sized bed.

It upset Kagami, really. Everyone was a million miles away from that moment now. Nijimura had only just come back into his life, the same but different. Aomine seemed determined to reside in the back of his mind, but not pleasantly. Tatsuya didn’t make any effort to talk to him at all. Maybe it showed on Kagami’s face, because when Aomine broke his stare to look at the man in his arms, he immediately put the phone away. Kagami untangled himself, curling up and out of bed.

“Why’d he send that to you outta the blue?” Aomine asked, pushing up to his elbows. Kagami glanced over as he was shimmying into a pair of sweatpants from Aomine’s closet. Blue eyes were clouded by a gentle frown. “You talk about the old days a lot with him, or what?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He replied grumpily. Aomine groaned, but couldn’t get a word in before Kagami continued. “It’s not outta the blue. He came to visit a couple weeks ago.”

“Huh?” Aomine rolled over to lie on one side. “Just to visit you?”

Kagami shrugged. “Didn’t he come see you?”

“Nah,” a pause, “would you have sent that to me? The pic, I mean.”

Instead of answering, the redhead left the room, scooping up items of clothes as he made his way into the living room. Aomine’s kitchen was primarily a gorgeous dark marble, and far too spacious for someone who only ate instant noodles and protein smoothies.

“Taiga,” Aomine called from the bedroom, following him out of the room. Kagami turned to discover the most gorgeous, fully naked man in the doorway and threw his bundle of jeans and socks at him.

“Put some fucking clothes on!”

“This is my apartment!”

“And you have company!”

“It’s just you?!”

“You’re way too casual with me.”

Aomine faltered. Kagami ignored the hurt he’d accidentally inflicted and made his way into the kitchen. There had to be something edible around here. Usually, Aomine bought supplies for whatever he wanted for breakfast, but since Kagami had just turned up, there was nothing in the fridge. Literally. Nothing in the fridge. Just fruit, and some yogurts. Kagami was not a fruit and yogurt kind of guy.

“Taiga,” Aomine’s voice had softened, and he was wearing jeans now. Kagami’s jeans, but they were better than nothing. “Would you have sent that to me?”

“No, probably not.” Kagami didn’t look at him for long. “What good would it have done?”

“What good has this done?” Aomine poked Kagami’s firm shoulder, but the point was lost on the redhead. Exasperated, he didn’t explain. “I’m not sentimental, but I would’a wanted to see that shit.”

“You’ve seen it. Besides, you were there! What good’s a photo if you remember the occasion perfectly well without it?”

“I don’t remember,” Aomine folded his arms, but tilted his head. He was closing himself off, while still (very much accidentally) showing interest. Kagami saw from his body language alone that Aomine reminisced about the past too.

“Shame,” everything had to hurt today, didn’t it? Kagami was taking it out on Aomine, but maybe it was his fault in the end. He tried to push past, with the idea of going out to get something to eat, but Aomine put a hand on his chest. Warmth. Red eyes lowered to full lips.

“No, Taiga,” the hand fell away, “no. Talk to me. I wanna hear about that picture.”

“I’m hungry,”

“Starve,” there was the contact again, but this time Aomine had extended his whole arm to prevent Kagami from leaving. Somewhere between annoyed and aroused, Kagami shoved the hand away.

“Summer. Do you remember how we used to go to the beach to surf? And how we’d always find Nijimura and Tatsuya either making out or arguing, and we’d try to—”

“Guess which one it’d be this time,” Aomine chuckled, “Tatsu said they used to do that about us, y’know.”

Kagami folded his arms and rested against the counter. There was a pause where Aomine must have been deciding whether or not Kagami would try to leave again, but he jumped up on the kitchen surface. Feet kicked below like he wasn’t a grown ass man.

“You said you loved me that day. For the first time. Properly, ‘cuz you were an idiot before you said it to my face.” He shoved his ex in the side, “Sayin’ it in your sleep, or when you thought I was asleep.”

“Hey, so I don’t throw it around! Why are you complaining? Bakagami. Surely that would mean more to you if I was so nervous to say it. Jeez. Think about things. Bonehead.”

When he looked over, Aomine was hunched over with his arms also folded, glaring at the floor. Blushes didn’t really show up on his skin, but it was obvious that he was embarrassed. Aomine’s nose was scrunching. He looked stupid and beautiful and, again, Kagami’s chest ached.

“I loved you too.”

“Yeah,” Aomine snorted, “but you said it all the time, it wasn’t as meaningful as when I said it.”

“That’s not how it works, you idiot!” Another shove: shoulder into shoulder the first time but a genuine push to knock him over this time. “You think it wasn’t just as hard to say at first? I thought it’d scare you off, then when it didn’t, I couldn’t help myself!”

“Cut it out, you’re turning me on!” Aomine laughed, grabbing wrists and using them to pull Kagami to stand in front of him. “I’m kidding, moron.”

“About what?” he snapped.

“The first thing. I’m still not good at telling people I love them, I used to— I still admire that you just can. I think it’s strong.”

“Oh,” the redhead pulled his hands free, but stayed near. His cheeks heated. “Wouldn’t be so sure about that, though. I suck at it.”

“Ah, man, I don’t wanna hear about your other relationships right now.”

For some reason, that really riled him up. Did Aomine really think he’d bring up other people? He couldn’t hold down a serious relationship with anybody, let alone someone he’d talk to Aomine about.

“What other fucking relationships, you big, stupid fuck? It’s great for you, you can just go to parties and do supermodels, but this THING fucks me over.”

“You aren’t seeing other people?”

“Well,” he faltered, “Yeah, but it never works out ‘cuz you’re always THERE.” Oh, shit. That just slipped out. “I didn’t mean that.”

“You never say shit you don’t mean, not about that,” Aomine muttered, eyes low. “You did it again.”

“I wouldn’t have come over if I knew you were gonna talk about old feelings, asshole.”

“Oh YEAH? Like I give a shit about your feelings, but just so we’re clear, you’re in my way too. And it’s idols, not supermodels.”

“Go figure you’d get stuck up on whether it’s idols or supermodels, UGH, YOU’RE SO—-”

“How stupid can you BE? You said you still love me, I said I still love you. Why are you yelling at me?”

“I———–” Kagami had started his raging defence, but couldn’t get the words out. His mouth was dry, and he wasn’t sure if this was a good nervous or a really terrible one.

“Say something,”

“Uh. I didn’t say that. You can’t just do this. I was fine and now I’m gonna be thinkin’ about this for—”

“I want you to.”

“What?”

“To think about it, about me. Damn, you’re really slow sometimes. OK, let’s try from another angle,” Aomine sighed as if he was a preschool teacher. Kagami let it slide this once, because he was so hooked on his words. “Do you believe in soul-mates, Taiga?”

The colour drained from Kagami’s tanned face, and he was vaguely aware that he was clutching the front of his own shirt in his fist. “You think I’m your soul-mate?”

“Ahhh, should’ve known you’d go all weird about it.” He rested back on his hands, doing his damnedest to look casual. “I know you are. We’re cut from the same… whatever the saying is. The same thing. We’re two halves of a whole. And you feel the same.”

“Don’t assume what I feel!”

“But you do! You said you’re stuck on me, and I could just about believe it ‘cuz every time I try to tell you I want you to stay longer, you go weird and distant, and I lose you again! Why else would you fly all the way out here knowing I’d drop everything to spend the night with you?”

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“You didn’t have to.”

There, sat in Kagami’s jeans, Aomine made everything crystal clear. They’d split up because distance made life difficult, it was too expensive to visit each other and their schedules meant that they couldn’t get online to talk every day. But Kagami had, on the spur of the moment, spent $200+ to come visit the guy because he was sad. And Aomine had, indeed, dropped his plans to spent the night with him.

They’d split up because all they did was train, and while Kagami liked downtime to include cooking and sleeping, Aomine partied. But Aomine had sort of calmed down by now, even if there was more alcohol than substantial food in the apartment. Maybe they hadn’t spent this long being bad for each other, maybe they’d spent it trying to convince themselves that they were.

“Taiga,” Aomine started again, softly nudging the baffled redhead. “Please don’t leave me hanging. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but I never wanna see you again if that’s the case.”

“Maybe I don’t feel the same,” Kagami’s voice cracked, “because I still wanted to see you, even when I thought you didn’t love me.”

“So you—?”

“Yeah, I do.”

It was Aomine’s turn to be rendered speechless, but he was more proactive about it. He pulled Kagami into a tight hug, which was quickly returned. There it was again, the irreplaceable scent of Aomine Daiki, completely encasing Kagami’s body. This hug felt different than the closeness they were more used to experiencing. It felt timeless, not tinted with the pain of having to leave and get over him again.

Sure, Kagami would have to catch the next flight back to Chicago for practise, but when he did later leave, Aomine kissed him and smiled. It felt nostalgic, like they weren’t mid-twenties but mid-teens. Butterflies swarmed in his stomach, he felt as though he was walking on air as he made his way back home. It had felt RIGHT. Being with Aomine felt right.

#shuuniji #aokaga #aokaga fic #drabbles.#THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS???? NEARLY COMPLETE SO I DID this for an hour instead of studying DAMN #anyway this is kinda in ref to the trope where poor aomine is reduced to only wanting to make out and never Talk but actually aomine is ??#100% the kind of person who would want a convo where the feelings are laid out bare and then he can get over that aspect of it #and focus on being a good bf #reply 2 this w/ how Done you are with these guys on a scale of 1 - 10 #aonon.

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years

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I finished it. real real sad over John b macklemore not gonna lie. dude wasn't perfect like he was rough around the edges and kind of a dick but like. he was a troubled queer dude and I have a lot of sympathy for that like his love life... made me so sad and he fucking had mercury poisoning like fuck... and then his land just getting bought up by k3 lumber like I know Rita had some depth to her but fuck Rita for that in particular. also do you think Tyler found the gold? (1/ ?)

right like….i dont remember which episode it was but that they were kind of putting together the picture of john being this guy who’s life was centered around how aggressively he cared. like how pissed he gets that other ppl DONT care abt things, and his insistence that everyone sucks and needs to be better, like as self righteous and misguided as it could be, its still part of that intent where he wants to help people in the ways he thinks is necessary. like i think personally i couldnt have been patient enough to interact with him, and i mean it seems like thats kind of a theme lol…like it isnt like theres not a bunch of parts of him that are A Good Person & generous & caring and all, but on this interpersonal individual level and how he channeled things, it’s definitely not the best sometimes

like for one thing he seems like the kind of person who is overly self assured and has a really narrow perspective. like his immediate assumption about a person or situation is what he thinks of as immediately true. he’s got all these judgments he’s doling out, big and small. i couldnt have the patience for that for very long. and he still has a narrow perspective on some things obviously, like he wants a broad range of information but not necessarily other peoples experiences of analyses of things. and yknow still some white dude from alabama and his bigotry even if his “big picture” thoughts on things weren’t as awful as it was obvious was common in that town

like yknow it feels like olan sums up so many things abt john lol. like he recognized how much of a genius and how talented he was, and he never fully wrote him off although there was always shit that kept him from thinking abt being able to like, seriously be in a relationship with him. i feel like i really got what he was saying about how john wouldnt listen to him abt brokeback mtn being good or that he should see it lol coz im like. i get excited abt shit i really like & if someone waves that off or insults it i wouldnt forgive them, like theres so much of this over the top assurance in his own initial opinions and disregard for others’ that he wasnt gonna believe olan even though olan had seen it and john hadnt. and then that he finally did read the short story and liked it, like dude yeah some more of that. he’s got his own thoughts about everything but its like he feels too superior with them. and like he’s still right even if he makes friends mad, like it cant just be him or whatever.

like it wasnt just that he was weird or that he had weird interests or anything that struck me as why he was always so lonely lmao like not that im saying it was his fault or it was only One Thing, but those smaller issues of him could kinda be impossible to get past, but at the same time a lot of ppl seemed like they werent willing to cut him off entirely or write him off cuz of all the other shit about him, he really was like, so unusual in all these ways and clearly it wasnt like there was a shortage of conversation to be had with him

anyways yeah it seems really counterproductive that he was born where he was and couldnt get out. like, not fitting in at all at school, being like what sounds like someone would call bi but i doubt he’d’ve grown up w that kinda language available even if it wasnt shittown alabama—but it does sound like he preferred men and that it was such a bad place for that, like relationships couldnt even be a factor for anyone around there hardly b/c being openly together was hardly an option, one night trysts was all that was really relevant. but it was obvious he was always wanting to be with someone and he just didnt have a way to do that, and couldnt manage to really find anyone. it really is such a heavy subject to think of queer people just being in the wrong place and time to understand themselves and what they want and even if/when they do, not have access to it

uhh yeah one thing that made me the maddest abt tbe last ep was finding out k3 took the land. like how fuckin symbolic. and those shitty rich white supremacists who feel like they literally run the town, fuck them. i WAS never sure abt rita and charles coz like. the relatives who nobody’s seen hide nor hair of, suddenly turning up overnight and wanting to take over everything? thats textbook suspicious. and like sure they probably wouldnt know tyler but its weird they never seemed interested in like, even hearing him out that he mightve been close to john and ought to be involved. like it COULD all just be a misunderstanding between two distrustful parties but still

i mean its nice to know mary grace was getting better care it sounds like, but thats not exactly proof that all their intentions were good. i mean, the k3 thing was like, did you care abt what john wouldve wanted at all? coz he seems to have cared abt that land a lot. and definitely not cared for k3. and they werent ever much sympathetic abt the question of if john wanted tyler to have money. oh, and i hated her calling john’s suicide selfish, but i know unfortunately a lot of ppl do that and i hate whoever does it lol. but like one thing i couldnt get over was her wanting his freakin nipple rings. im like? for Sentimental Value???? you want his body’s nipple rings?????!!!!!!! which later when it was revealed that was probably this queerass sexual thing was just this whole other layer of ghjfhsvvgh

lorddd

the other suspicious thing on that end was johns list of contacts. that not everybody had been contacted. like, wtf happened there. maybe not some paid off conspiracy, but? still a pretty fuckin straightforward task that was ridiculously bungled

Aanyway lord the mercury poisoning angle at the end i was like !!!! fuck is this the new thread now!! cuz it had kind of been mentioned before yknow, the firegilding or whatever, and now he’s doing that all the time suddenly w/o protection or ventilation and im like holy shit. this guy is maybe one of the only people in the world who’s doing this and just poisoning himself via this ancient art, for this fuckin genius he has for clock repair. which is so specialized, like, this dude is probably one of the best in the world. but he’s doing his own thing and that doesnt involve not inhaling mercury. and the fact that he made his own cyanide which was also something used for the clocks, i’m like, these Parallels. this irony. how is this real

i honestly dont know about the gold!!! like, i really feel like he had some, for starters, but the fact people werent even sure if he was a millionaire or he was broke is wild. i was suspicious abt those gates in the crawlspaces, idk what they were for even if not treasure hunts. the maze just feels like so obvious, and the theory abt the doghouse too….and saying there mightve been gold in the freezer that was taken….man. i am not sure what to think. or if he left like honest treasure hunt clues or if it was just buried scattered around w no trail to follow. man. hearing that come up, like maybe this guy has a secret hidden treasure with clues? im like this is so unreal. but i could believe he really did

#ok obvs this was meant to be privately published and i thought it had been #free access to some of my Take i guess #my take on the nip piercing scandal

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