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winteriron-trash · 5 years

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Building Legacies

A/N: Oh my goodness she’s posting original fanfics, be still my beating heart

All jokes aside, I’m excited to finally post this fic, as it will be my first and probably the last fic that’s canon compliant with Avengers: Endgame. This fic is just basically Bucky watching Morgan Stark grow up and getting closer to her as an uncle-type figure, and her figuring herself out from Bucky’s perspective. Obviously many warnings for Endgame spoilers, but besides that, hope you enjoy!

Bucky knew he shouldn’t have a single thing to do with Morgan Stark. It was common sense and for as much as it hurt, he knew Tony’s funeral should’ve been the first and last time he saw her. It hurt too much, really. Seeing the way her soft brown eyes looked like they’d come right from Tony, watching her cling to Pepper as she fought to understand that her father was never coming home again.

It just wasn’t Bucky’s place. Even if he hadn’t killed Howard and Maria, and if Tony hadn’t hated him. He was nobody to the Stark-Potts family and wanted to keep his relationship with Pepper strictly business, now that she was a head advisor of the Avengers and on call for missions.

Some of the Avengers did form bonds with Morgan. For Peter Parker, it was practically expected. He was a big brother to her, sitting next to her and listening to her ramble about the things she built. Harley Keener, who Bucky had been briefly introduced to as an old friend of Tony’s who was now also an advisor and coordinator of the Avengers, was another brother to her. Though Bucky noticed that Morgan spent more time splitting up fights between Harley and Peter if they were all together.

Carol Danvers got along quite well with Morgan too. Answering the endless stream of questions about space and… whatever the hell Carol’s powers were when she could be around. Morgan constantly wore shirts modelled after Carol’s suit and it didn’t really surprise Bucky that she saw Carol as a model to follow.

Morgan wasn’t quite close to Clint, but she did adore playing with his kids. Morgan Stark and Nathaniel Barton were the best of friends, always making new toys to play with together. On days when Pepper was swamped with work and didn’t want Morgan at the compound, it was practically a given for her to end up on the Barton farm.

So needless to say, Morgan spent her days surrounded by superheroes. But that didn’t mean Bucky had a right to make himself one of those figures in her life. It didn’t matter if he wanted to help raise her to make amends to Tony even after his death. Bucky’s selfish motivations did not override the greater good of a little girl who deserved a childhood far away from a murderer like him.

But it seemed like fate disagreed.

Which was how Bucky found a small figure in the doorway of the compound’s training centre, watching him punch the shit out of a punching bag hanging in front of him.

“Can you show me how to do that?”

Bucky wished that Morgan would leave after realizing whatever she was looking for wasn’t in the gym, but he hadn’t been so lucky.

“Are you looking for Peter?” Bucky asked. “I think he’s in the-”

“I know where Pete is,” Morgan said, skipping up to Bucky. “Can you show me?”

Bucky blinked. “Show you what.”

She pointed to the punching bag. “That. Show me how to fight, please?”

Bucky’s throat went impossibly tight. It was wrong, so fucking wrong. He couldn’t imagine what Morgan thought of the world, being surrounded by people who could kill a man with a pinky every day. He didn’t know what quite was going through her head to make her want to learn how to do the same, but he had some ideas. It hurt him to think about that.

And even if she did learn to fight, it shouldn’t have been from Bucky. There were other people who could teach her, other people who didn’t have Bucky’s complicated past. It just wasn’t his place.

“I think… I think you should ask your mother about that, kiddo.” Bucky forced the words out, trying not to fidget.

Morgan’s eyes flickered with a darkness no child her age should know. “Mommy’s busy. She has important things to do, you know? She saves people. I shouldn’t bother her.”

Oh. Bucky’s gut twisted. That was no decision Morgan should’ve made, thinking that she had to be the bigger person and let Pepper do her job. No one should’ve made that decision, but knowing Morgan did was probably the worst knowledge Bucky would ever carry.

“I think Peter would teach you some stuff. I’m not really good at helping others.” That was a lie. Sort of. Bucky had trained the girls in the Red Room. He trained… Natasha. But still, it was also the truth. Training them hadn’t helped them in the long run. And he sure as hell wasn’t about to make Morgan that type of killing machine.

Morgan tilted her chin up in a show of bravery. “I don’t want him. Pete will baby me.” She was definitely right about that. “You have a cool arm.” Her little hands reached up to grab Bucky’s metal arm, as she literally began to climb up it, legs swinging happily through the air. “I think you’d be the best teacher.”

“Why me?” Bucky could barely get the question out, bending his elbow so Morgan could sit on his forearm.

Morgan smiled brightly. “Mommy said you’re the Winter Solider. If you have soldier in your name, you have to be the best fighter.”

Bucky… Bucky really didn’t know how to feel about that or argue it.

“I didn’t pick that name.” Bucky unstrung the punching bag from where it hung and dragged it off to the corner.

“Daddy didn’t pick his name either.” Morgan followed Bucky. She went quiet a moment. “Do you miss him?”

Bucky paused in front of the closet that stored other punching bags. “I… your dad didn’t like me a lot.” He sighed. “But yeah, I miss him.”

He turned to glance at Morgan. She looked sad and Bucky almost thought it was the memory of Tony before he realized she was staring at his hand putting the punching bag away.

Bucky smiled. “Relax, kid. I’m just getting a softer one. It’s impossible to teach a kid how to punch against a bag designed for metal fists.”

Morgan’s face split into an excited grin. She followed Bucky as he hung up a new, softer bag.

And so that was how Bucky spent the rest of his afternoon, kneeling behind Morgan and wrapping his shaking hands around her tiny ones, showing her how to make a proper fist and square her legs for the right form. It was… nicer than he expected.

Morgan was patient and laster much longer than Bucky expected. The bag barely gave to her swings, but Bucky could feel the anger she put into each punch. He decided that it was better for Morgan to take her anger out this way than something more destructive. At least if he believed that it was easier to help Morgan.

“Morgan?” Pepper’s voice was on the edge of panic.

Bucky looked up in time to watch Pepper poke her head into the gym and sigh in relief.

“Morgan, what are you doing?” Pepper walked into the room, heels clicking.

Bucky pushed himself to his feet. “I’m sorry, she just wandered in, I didn’t mean to impose.”

“Bucky showed me how to punch,” Morgan said, holding her arms up for Pepper to pick her up. “I like him.” She rested her head on Pepper's shoulder with a yawn. “Can I play with him more?”

Pepper smiled softly. “That’s up to James, sweetheart. As long as you’re not bothering him.”

“It’s fine.” Bucky blew stray bangs out of his face. “She’s a good kid, Potts.”

Pepper smiled and nodded. “She’s perfect.”

And so it became a common thing. A few times a week Morgan would find Bucky in the training room and tug on his arm until he showed her a few things. It started with punching, then kicks. Bucky gave some advice on how to fight, even if he knew how little the possibility was that Morgan would ever actually have to fight someone. He told her to use her elbows and knees, showed her where to hit. It was almost nice, having such a constant thing to look forward to. Morgan even pouted when Bucky went on long-term missions and she couldn’t train with him.

Pepper admitted to Bucky that she thought it was nice for Bucky to train Morgan and give her something constructive to take anger out on. Supposedly Morgan’s therapist said something about pent up anger in Morgan.

Between the training, Bucky and Morgan actually didn’t actually talk too much. Bucky didn’t have it in him to try to initiate conversation. People cracked jokes about how strange it was for a Stark to be quiet, but Bucky glared down the comments whenever he heard them. Morgan was too young to just be ‘a Stark’. She was a kid, and no one had any damned business tying a little, innocent girl to an impossibly daunting legacy.

Morgan was twelve the first time she and Bucky had a real conversation.

Morgan stormed into the training room, black boots clomping loudly as she beelined for her punching bag that was kept up all the time. Her first punch sent it swinging so hard Bucky almost thought it was going to fly across the room. She looked like she was trying to do just that, punching the poor bag faster than Bucky had ever seen from her.

“You’re gonna break a knuckle if you keep that up,” Bucky warned, taking a sip of his energy drink.

Morgan whipped around to face Bucky. “I don’t care.”

The look of her in one of Tony’s old shirts that Pepper never had the heart to throw out and ripped jeans reminded him of an idle comment Clint made that Morgan was going into an early teenage rebellion. Bucky disagreed with that, but never really voiced it. He didn’t see Morgan’s obvious personality that everyone else missed out on until she could properly express it as some kind of phase.

The glowing glare didn’t phase Bucky. He’d trained the Black Widow. “You will tomorrow.”

The seemed to be enough to make Morgan pause, letting out a slow breath. “You’re right.” She sounded as frustrated as she looked.

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek. He should probably do something.

“You… you wanna talk, kid?”

Morgan gave Bucky a long look. “I hate it.” She went back to punching. “No one sees me. They only see him.”

Bucky waited for her to explain.

“I’m sick of it.” A hard hit to the bag. “I’m sick of people telling me I have his eyes.” Another hit. “I’m sick of just being the daughter of the guy who saved the universe. Everyone else got their family back, why did I have to lose mine?”

Oh.

Bucky didn’t know what to say to that. ‘I’m sorry’ didn’t quite seem to cut it.

“I see you.”

Okay, that was stupid. Bucky needed to save… that.

“I see a brilliant young girl who’s better than what other people think of her,” Bucky continued. He punched his own bag a few times. “And it’s not fair. You got the short end of the stick. You deserved better.” Bucky paused. “He deserved better. But not from you. He would be so proud of you, kid.”

“You think so?” Morgan’s voice broke, and Bucky gave her the dignity of not looking over to see her cry.

“Yeah.” Bucky rolled out his shoulders. “I’m proud of you, for what it’s worth.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Bucky promised.

Morgan sniffed and let out a shaking breath. “Can you show me how to use a gun?”

Bucky paused. “Yeah. I can do that.”

Morgan was a natural shot. She picked up hand to hand about at the same rate anyone else did, but the gun was natural in her hands. It got to the point where she was in the target range even without Bucky, firing off rounds. She had preferences on what guns she liked, and had even started learning how to use some longer range ones. Bucky was pretty damned proud the first time she fired off his favourite sniper.

She was fourteen when she built her own gun.

“Hey.” Bucky nodded to Morgan as she walked into the shooting range while Bucky was practising. He didn’t need the practice, but it was late and nightmares kept him awake. He wondered if it was the same for Morgan.

“Hey,” Morgan said. Her soft voice reminded him almost of Pepper sometimes. “Can you try this?” She handed Bucky a gun he didn’t recognize. Bucky nodded, taking it from her. It was black and sleek, with glowing blue streaks lighting up the sides. He raised the gun and pulled the trigger.

The target exploded into shrapnel.

Bucky blinked. “Damn. Where’d you get this?”

“I built it.” Morgan’s tone wasn’t proud. If anything, she almost sounded resentful of the thing. “It doesn’t run out of ammo, and converts the heat energy from your hands into… blasts, I guess.”

Bucky nodded. He was beyond curious about knowing more of the science, but he knew Morgan wasn’t in the mood of sharing. “Well, it’s a damn good gun.” He tried to hand it back to her.

Morgan shook her head. “No, keep it.” Her cheeks went a bit red. “I… I thought you could use it for missions and stuff.”

“Oh. Thank you,” Bucky said. He set the gun down. “You know, I think you’d be good with a knife. I could show you if-”

“Yes.” Morgan sounded as eager as she looked. “Please?”

Bucky smiled.

Morgan was sixteen the first time she properly knocked Bucky onto his ass and they were both so startled by it, she actually apologized.

Bucky didn’t just show her how to throw knives, but also how to fight close range with them. They used plastic ones in sparring, and Bucky promised not to go easy on her. He knew she’d had too much of babying from everyone else in the compound.

And finally she’d been too fast with a hard kick to the chest that sent Bucky sprawling.

“Fucking Christ,” he groaned, propping himself up on his elbow. “That was a good hit, kid. Nice job.”

He took Morgan’s hand to pull himself to his feet. “Really?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I told you I’m not going easy on you. You earned that one. You still need to work on your guard though.

Morgan’s smiling was absolutely glowing.

Morgan was eighteen when Pepper approached Bucky, wringing her hands.

Pepper and Bucky didn’t talk outside of official Avengers business. He figured it hurt too much for both of them, and they weren’t really the type who’d click anyways. She only ever came up to Bucky with a more empathetic look on her face when Morgan was concerned.

“Can I help you, Ms Potts?” Bucky looked up from the notebook he’d been writing in. Even now, he still remembered new things from his old life, good and bad. He wrote it all down.

Pepper nodded. “I… had a question about Morgan.”

Bucky set his pen down and stared up at her, waiting.

“Do you think Morgan is field ready?” Pepper sounded… almost distraught. “She’s been talking about officially applying to be a SHIELD agent and I thought she just wanted to be an advisor but… she wants to go on missions, James. She wants to fight in the field. I know she’s been training with you a lot and a little bit with Clint’s kids but… I can’t lose her too. Especially not like that.”

Bucky stood up to properly fave Pepper and think about his words before speaking. “I think she’s absolutely more skilled than your basic entry-level SHIELD agent. She’s not Avengers worthy yet, but she’s getting there.” He put his notebook away in a drawer. “Look, if she wants to start going out in the field, I can oversee it. I’ll make sure she’s put on some low contact missions first, with no killing until she’s ready for it. I’d personally be with her. Maybe after one or two missions, she’ll decide it’s not for her, but that’s her decision to make. And I would never let anything serious get near her.

“But I can promise you, Ms Potts,” Bucky looked her dead in the eyes, “Morgan will never forgive you if you try to stop her, let alone if you actually stop her. She’s an adult now, and if it’s her decision, it’s her decision. We can do everything possible to keep her safe through it, but you’ve gotta let her grow up. Let her be ready for this, Potts.”

There was a long moment when Bucky was almost positive Pepper was going to slap him or scream at him for daring to try and tell her how to parent her only child.

But instead, she nodded.

A week later, Bucky and Morgan were on a helicarrier headed to Morgan’s first contact mission.

As Bucky promised to Pepper, it was an easy one, but Bucky figured even Morgan wouldn’t protest to something simple for her first dip in the water. Assuming there were no surprises, Bucky was positive Morgan would barely even need his help and Bucky didn’t plan on doing much helping. He was just there to shadow and advise.

“You ready, kid?” Bucky glanced at Morgan next to him.

Morgan nodded. She was in a mixture of basic SHIELD tac gear and her own designs. She had upgraded versions of the gun she made, as well as knives. A lot of knives. Bucky had been right about her being good with knives, and they’d become a trademark of sorts for Morgan. Bucky didn’t blame her. There was a certain fluid grace to proper knifework. “I’m ready to kick some HYDRA ass.”

Bucky smiled at that. “Good.”

As excepted, the mission went without a hitch. Bucky didn’t even do much, except once remind Morgan that killing wasn’t necessary. They got the information they were there for, got out, and were back at the compound before dinner. It was so routine for Bucky he was slipping out of his tac gear without realizing Morgan was even there.

“That looks like it hurt,” Morgan noted and Bucky turned. She pointed to the scar tissue peaking out from under his tank top.

He shrugged. “It did at the time. It’s fine now. Life moves on.”

Morgan pressed her lips together. “He… my dad had scars like that. On his chest.”

Bucky’s chest hurt. “Yeah, the arc reactor.” He tried not to think about when he’d tried to rip that arc reactor right out of Tony’s chest, or when Steve slammed his shield into it.

Morgan nodded. “Everyone keeps waiting for me to build something like that. My own arc reactor.”

Yeah?” Bucky didn’t know what to say but didn’t want to say the wrong thing to make her stop talking. Bucky knew as well as everyone else did that Morgan was a quiet sort of person, keeping to herself to the point where she bottled stuff up far too much. Bucky tried to coax as much out of her as he could, but he also didn’t want to nag her. He knew some of the people who loved her the most were the worst offenders of just alienating her bying trying to get her to open up.

“I don’t see the point of it,” Morgan said, angrily kicking off boots. “I could be an Avenger or superhero if I wanted just because I won the genetic lottery of being a genius with superhero parents. What good does building my own suit do? It’s not mine. It’s just another part of his fucking legacy.” She drew in a deep breath, eyes squeezed shut. “It’s so easy, you know? To hate him. But it’s so much harder to stop loving him. I barely even remember him, but I miss him every day, every time I see one of his stupid action figures or another memorial for him.”

Bucky nodded, sitting down next to Morgan. “I know how that feels.”

Morgan looked over. “Do you?”

“When I was in HYDRA, they took my memories,” Bucky said. “Most I got back, with time. But for the first few months, I was searching and trying to understand myself, I was constantly missing a life I couldn’t even remember. People I wasn’t even sure ever existed. I can’t imagine always living like that.”

“It sucks,” Morgan muttered. “It really sucks.”

Bucky put a hand on his shoulder. It was awkward, he was never one for physical contact. “But here’s the thing, kid. All that genius stuff, maybe that’s just your dad. And I know it’s not much an accomplishment to live with, but it’s not everything that you are. This?” Bucky picked up one of Morgan’s favourite knives. “You earned this. You worked for this, even through the parts that weren’t natural to you. And the more you work for the stuff like this, the more you step out of his shadow and build your own legacy.” Bucky stood up and handed Morgan the knife. “And personally speaking, I think it’s gonna be a pretty great legacy.”

Morgan’s smile was slow and cautious, but when it finally took over her face Bucky had to fight down his own. She stood up with her shoulders just a bit more squared than before.

Morgan was twenty when she was officially an Avenger, just as Pepper was retiring from field duties, making it almost poetic. Bucky seemed to be the only one not shocked that she didn’t have a suit of armour, and instead just her personally designed tac gear. And a lot of knives. It suited her much better than armor would’ve anyway.

When she started calling herself Agent 3000, Bucky figured it was an inside reference. All he knew was the way it made Pepper’s eyes just a little wet, and that was all he needed to know. A lot of street names started bouncing around for her, with Iron Heart being the most common. Bucky just kept calling her ‘kid’. Even when she yelled at him for it.

As Bucky predicted, it didn’t take long for Morgan to build her own legacy. But she earned it, just as she deserved to.

There were long days Bucky spent thinking about what Tony would think of Morgan. He wondered if Tony would’ve minded that Bucky played such a hand in shaping Morgan as Agent 3000. He’d long since made peace with what he’d done, or at least, tried to. Bucky had bad days the same as anyone else. He hoped Tony did too. And he prayed Tony knew what a great kid he made. More importantly, Bucky hoped Tony knew what a great kid Morgan made herself to be.

Morgan Stark was attached to countless legacies. The brilliance of Howard Stark, the cunning of Pepper Potts, the heroism of Tony Stark. Hell, Bucky’s name even got thrown in there too sometimes.

But the most important legacy was her own. Something undefinably amazing, that made Bucky smile every time Morgan completed another daunting mission or wiped the floor with others when sparring.

Morgan’s legacy was glowing, growing with every step she took. It was an aura around her, the confident smiles she gave to degrading comments at her expense. The quiet wisdom she carried with her wherever she went.

Morgan was born from one of the darkest tragedies humanity knew. And she lost what the rest of the world got to take back in a single snap. And still, she squared her shoulders, faced the world in front of her, even knowing it had what she could never, and decided to fight for it.

She was bravery, kindness, intelligence, and something so unique to her that was perfectly undefinable. Bucky found that to be rather beautiful, like the stars in the sky that seemed to run in her veins.

Morgan Stark was a legacy of hope. And for her, it would be enough.

#endgame #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #bucky barnes #morgan stark #one shot #bucky barnes fanfic #not winteriron #canon compliant #also i can finally add cuts with this laptop huzzaaaaah #enjoy #it's happysad you know?#i like it #kinda long for me but whatever

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jbbarnesandnoble · 5 years

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A Minute Too Late: Oneshot

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Soulmate AU Everyone is born with a soulmark on their wrist. It’s something that their soulmate says to them. The only issue? it’s your soulmates last words to you. You only know until it’s too late.

Warnings: Endgame Spoilers, Mentions of Death, Angst, Grief, Regret, The Tiniest Hint of Fluff, Like a Splash of it, (you guys have seen Endgame, you should know what to expect)

Word Count: 3,249

A/N: Wild! I actually wrote a fic with no reader insert! This is so weird. But I still love this fic. So I should probably tell you... No happy ending in this one, strictly angst with a hint of fluff and domestic avengers. Loaded with gifs that aren’t mine. Also lines and dialogue taken from Avengers: Endgame. Which I do not own

Everyone is born with their soulmates last words written on their wrist. Some have paragraphs, some have a sentence, some have a single word. The only thing they have in common is that most of the time it's some sort of goodbye. The downside to having their last words tainting your skin? You never know until it's too late.

It's ironic really, Steven Grant Rogers, the man who saves the world every other day as Captain America. Is scared of his soulmates words. Fear and dread flooded his senses when he looks at them. It got so bad he started wearing long sleeves, when it's too hot he switches to a leather wristband he bought at a flea market. The team -mostly Tony- likes to make fun of him for wearing it. But their torment and teasing comments are better than the dread of the words staining his skin.

He had assumed that Peggy was his soulmate, the first time he saw her, he had this feeling that maybe, just maybe, she was the one. The shock he felt when her last words to him didn't match the ones written on his wrist hurt him in a way he didn't know was possible. He spent so much time thinking he lost his soulmate, that he wasn't able to spend his life with her. Only to find that it wasn't her at all.

During the five years post snap, Steve and Natasha lived in the Avengers Compound. Over time, Steve began to realize his feelings for a certain blond turned redhead. What he didn't realize is that they've been there longer than he would like to admit. He can only assume they began to develop after the kiss they shared while on the run from HYDRA. Sure it was to protect themselves from getting caught. But to him it felt like more than that. His entire body warmed -even more than it already is- at her touch. He thought about kissing her again for months after it happened. He felt a little creepy for thinking about if for so long after it happened.

Steve watches the woman sitting in front of him carefully. She’s as beautiful as the day he first met her all those years ago on the helicarrier. Back when everything seemed so much simpler. When their biggest threat was a god of mischief who just wanted to rule the earth, not and angry titan who wiped out half of the population.

Her brows are drawn together, telling Steve she’s deep in thought. “I used to have nothing." She starts slow at first. "Then I got this. This job, this family. And… I was better because of it. And even though they’re gone. I’m still trying to be better." She's right, Steve has watched as the once lonely assassin broke down her walls and began to trust this makeshift family of theirs. He watched her grow into this beautiful, nurturing, trusting woman.

"We both need to get a life." He says, hoping to lighten the mood. Though a thought crosses his mind, only for a moment, 'Together' as quick as it appeared, it vanished. She looks at him, a beautiful smile painted on her soft features. "You first." Their moment is short lived when Scott Lang pops up on their camera footage from the front gate.

It feels like forever since the six of them have all been in the same room together. The same room without even fighting is a miracle. “Before we go on this suicide mission, I suggest we get shawarma. I would like at least one good meal before I die.” Tony says in his usual sarcastic manner to no one in particular.

“I want tacos…” Scott chimes in, “The last one I tried to eat got blown away.” he pouts, looking at Nebula who just ignores him whilst muttering something under her breath to Rhodey. Probably about him being an idiot.

"I'll go with you to Vormir." Steve stands next to Natasha. They both watch as the others prepare to gather the stones and bring everyone back. She shakes her head after what feels like hours. “No,” she turns to face him. Her green eyes shine up at him. “You should go with Tony.” Steve opens his mouth to protest, she cuts him off before he has a chance to list the reasons why Tony doesn’t need his help. She holds her finger to his lips. “That’s an order, cap. You need to go with him.” his cheeks darken in color at the nickname coming from her lips. He’s been called cap thousands of times by many different people. But the only person who has ever been able to make his heart skip a beat from the nickname alone is the woman standing in front of him.

“Besides.” she gives him her iconic smirk. “Barton and I have got some catching up to do.” he chuckles, trying to rid himself of his nerves. His smile fades, his features turn serious. His blue eyes filled with concern. “Be careful out there?” her smile reassures him. “I always am.” she winks before walking off to find Clint. "Hey Nat." She whips around, her braid swinging over her shoulder. "Yeah Stevie?" She asks. Her face is serious, through her eyes shine with anticipation. "I wanted to tell you." He has the sudden courage to confess his love for her. He doesn't know where it came from and he isn't about to question it now. Not after he waited as long as he has. She takes a step closer, waiting for him to speak. "Nat, I lo-"

"Hey Captain America, sir…" great. Steve internally grumbles. Mumbling an apology to Nat he turns to the direction Scott's voice rang from. "Yeah Scott?" He tries his best to mask his annoyance. He can't be seen getting angry at his number one fan. "I should go find Clint anyway." Nat adds. She mouths a later. Steve nods, hoping he hasn't lost his chance. Later

“Hey Barton.” Steve hears her call out from behind him. As he makes his way towards the direction of Scott and Tony he feels worry begin to pool in his stomach once more.

Moments later they find themselves standing together on the Quantum Time machine. Steve stands next to Nat of course. He steals a glance at her, she's beaming. Her face is so bright the sun envies her. Her eyes shine like a little kid on Christmas morning. Stunning. Crosses Steve's mind as he watches her. Then he realizes, he's watching her. All eyes are on him. Red flashes over his cheeks for a brief moment. Disappearing as fast as it appeared. He clears his throat. His face and tone switches from Steve Rogers to Captain America in no time.

"Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends... We lost family... We lost a part of ourselves." He begins one of his famous Cap speeches. The kind the Avengers have heard time and time again. Yet they never fail to give everyone the motivation they need to complete their mission. Next to him he catches Nat tense up. He continues.

"Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams," Steve flashes a sad yet confident glance towards Natasha. She has an unreadable expression on her face. Quickly putting back on the face of Cap, he continues. "You know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know. But it doesn't mean we should know what to expect. Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives and we're gonna win."

Tony looks at Steve, his face full of determination. He gives his friend a smile; No, not Captain America, but Steve Rogers. He gives Steve Rogers a smile. One that tells Steve, we will bring them back. "Whatever it takes. Good luck."

He turns his attention back to the redhead standing next to him. Her smile is just as bright as earlier. Yet there's a look in her green eyes that tell him something different, something changed from before. Once again she cuts him off before he can ask the question burning in his mind. "See you in a minute." Time freezes. She flashes him her iconic smirk once again. There's a fear in her eyes now. He can see it.

She’s seen Steve's words. He showed her them during their time on the run after the fight at the airport. She knew the words she would speak before one of their deaths long before he did. She knows that one of them will die. That this is it. Their final mission.

She notices the tears that burned in his eyes, that he tries so hard to hold back. She wishes he didn't have the same realization as her. She wishes the last memory she'll have of him is him smiling. Not threatening to break down. Because his smile is the only thing that can bring her peace in a time like this.

He looks at her again as soon as the words leave her lips. Fear evident in his face. His hand falls to his wrist. The words on his skin burn. 'See you in a minute.' They're the exact words tainting his skin. No. Before he knows it tears threaten to fall from his blue eyes. Not yet. Please not yet. But before he could stop her from going. She's gone forever, his heart shatters. She's off to face her doom or maybe he's off to face his. He actually isn't sure. He Hope's, he prays that it's his doom. He's lived long enough, besides. He doesn't know how he can get a life if she isn't right there beside him. Though the pit deep in his stomach tells him it's her doom.

And he knows that she knows. She probably knew as soon as the first words of his speech left his mouth. Heck, he wouldn't be surprised if she knew way before then. Natasha Romanoff is a lot of things and dumb is not one of them.

After the snap she wound up putting two and two together, that the words staining her soft skin became a whole lot heavier. 'Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends... We lost family... We lost a part of ourselves.'

She realized long before that Steve must be her soulmate. Those words she repeated over and over in her mind during her time in the red room. They became a part of her. Once she met Steve she realized there's no one else who delivers speeches like that. It has to be him. Why else do you think she kissed him. Of course it was a good cover and she could easily play it off that she was doing it to protect them. But to her it wasn't just to get them out of a tight spot. It was to see if there was a spark. It was because she's thought about kissing his soft, pink lips for way too long. To her, that kiss was so gentle, there was a tenderness and a fondness behind it. She thought about kissing him for months after it happened. She felt like a creep. She was confident it was him. And she was right.

It broke both of their hearts to know they never even had a chance to be together. But Nat had already made her peace with it. She knew five years ago when right after the snap. So what could she do? Make peace with the fact that she'll never get her chance with Steve. Because during those years they needed each other as friends more than lovers. They both thought that was true. But deep down they knew it wasn't. It was an excuse. They were too scared to face their feels, they both assumed they didn't deserve the other. They were wrong.

“You Okay?” Steve catches Nat staring down at the blank skin on her wrist. At the scarred flesh where her soulmates last and final words to her are meant to be. “Where’s everyone else?” she asked, ignoring his question. “Sam went to the VA, Rhodey’s with Tony and Wanda said something about teaching Vision how to cook.” he answers. Accommodating her.

She turns to face him, green eyes meeting blue. "What about you?" She asks

He shrugs, sitting next to her. "I'm here to see a friend." She sighs, brushing a few strands of red hair behind her ear. "I'm fine, Steve. Really." She offers a fake smile

"Last time I heard that you had a bullet in your shoulder." He teases, placing his warm hand on top of hers. Giving it a gentle squeeze. "What's wrong." His voice is serious, yet there's a softness in his tone.

She thinks for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip. "Back in the red room they taught us that soulmates and soulmarks are a distraction." Steve's face stays blank as she speaks. Listening intently. "I believed the lies they fed us, at least I tried to. But there was a part of me that wanted to know my soulmate. I mean no one can just say what they did and not be an amazing person." She looks away from Steve. Finding her hands much more interesting.

"So I held onto the words. I read them over and over until I knew it word for word." A dark laugh escapes her lips. "Glad I did too, otherwise I would have lost them forever." She moves her green eyes back to her wrist where her soulmark was. Steve's eyes follow Nats. "May I?" Nat's fingers brush over Steve's. He nods. She pulls his large hand into her own, before placing his fingers onto her scar.

There are few things that Natasha Romanoff are ashamed of. Four things to be exact. The red room, the graduation ceremony, the red in her ledger, and her scar. She hates looking at it, even worse when other people look at it. Let alone touching it.

"Are you sure?" Steve asks. She smiles, gentle and genuine. She nods. Watching as his fingers trace over the burn mark. To most, they would find it gross or repulsive. But not to Steve. He doesn't mind. In fact he couldn't be happier. Natasha was sharing such a personal thing. And he was lucky enough to be the one she shared it with. He was blissfully unaware that he was the only one she wanted to share this moment with.

“Steve, hey, Steve. You okay?" Kneeling next to Steve, Tony shakes the blond super soldiers shoulders. Jolting him out of his thoughts. He can't break down, not yet. Not when they're on the verge of saving everyone. He sucks in a shaky breath before standing. Tony follows his movement. Concern still etched onto his features. "All right, we all have our assignments. Two stones uptown, one stone, down. Stay low. Keep an eye on the clock." Just like that Steve is replaced with Cap.

Where Steve knew Nat was the one destined to die. The former Russian spy didn't. She had no idea which one of them would be the one to die. Despite her dark thoughts she can't help but feel a bit excited to not only time travel but go to space again. She feels like a little kid. Clint breaks her out of her thoughts. She instantly puts on a mask. Hiding any negative thoughts.

"We're a long way from Budapest." A flood of memories rush through her, bringing a genuine smile to her face. She looks at her best friend, a laugh escapes her lips. His face lights up, mirroring her expression. For a moment, just a small moment. She forgets how this will end.

She looks off the edge of the cliff. Her brows furrowed in confusion. "The stone is down there?" She asks the… well she isn't entirely sure what he is. His answer sends a chill down her spine. Her blood freezes.

"For one of you. For the other... In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange. A soul, for a soul."

She sits on the closet thing next to her. A million thoughts running through her mind. A soul for a soul. The storekeepers words play in her mind. She has to be the one to jump. Clint can't die. Not when he has a family to think about. They may have been dusted during the snap. But once they come back they'll need someone to help them readjust to life. For a moment, Steve crosses her mind. She feels a bit of relief when she realizes that it won't be him. She brings her hands in front of her face. Deep in thought. Steve will survive, they'll bring everyone back, and everything will be as it should be. The only difference? Nat won't be there. But she's okay with that. As long as everyone comes back can find happiness once again. Besides, she'll finally clean the red from her ledger. A win-win, right? Plus to die saving the world didn't sound all that bad. Maybe then Tony and Thor would finally admit she is the strongest Avenger. Bruce and Clint didn't take much convincing and Steve, well he admits it even without her efforts. Tony and Thor on the other hand, takes more convincing. And what better way than to die saving the universe.

"How's it going?" He pauses, "Maybe he's making this crap up." Clint thinks aloud.

She turns to face him, green eyes meeting blue. "No, I don't think so."

“Why, cause he knows your daddy’s name?” He asks, hoping that maybe, just maybe, there’s another way. Except, there’s a part of him that knows deep down, there isn’t.

“Thanos left here with the stone without his daughter. It’s not a coincidence.” her tone is serious. Clint's heart stops. She looks at him again, her face a mix of fear and confidence. “Whatever it takes.” she gives him a weak smile. Standing as she speaks.

“Whatever it takes.”

Steve’s worry hasn’t gone away since they left. Not because he was worried about the mission. But because he was worried about Nat. He survived his trip, meaning that something must have happened to her. Maybe the words were wrong and she’ll actually come back safe with Clint. He tried his best to have hope. Though it all died when he saw Clint, soaking wet, with the most broken expression he’s ever seen on another human.

“Clint, where’s Nat?” Steve’s voice fills the quiet room.

He doesn’t answer, silence fills the room once again. That’s answer enough for them. All the worry and regret Steve was suppressing floods his system. His heart shatters once again. He already lost his first love, now he lost his soulmate, the love of his life.

They won, they managed to get all the stones and bring everyone back. So why does it feel like they lost? Maybe because in some way they did. They lost the glue that held them together. They lost the person that never stopped fighting, even when everything seemed hopeless. They lost their sister, their friend, his soulmate. They lost even though they won. Little did they know, they would lose even more.

A/N: K so that’s that. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I know there are a few parts that are a bit weird and maybe don’t make sense or kinda contradicted other things going on. But I could not be bothered to go through for the millionth time and fix it. I’m sorry:/ lmk what you thought I guess. Also, I WAS not kidding when I said this was loaded with gifs

#steve rogers x natasha romanoff #steve x natasha #steve x nat fic #fanfiction #fanfic #avengers endgame #marvle #mcu #endgame spolier #steve rogers fanfic #natasha romanoff fanfic #writing #my writing #a minute too late

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peachrogers · 5 years

Text

my summation + overall thoughts of avengers: endgame

including: what i found wrong with endgame and why i am currently refusing to acknowledge that it happened.

okay i wrote this a while ago but after i never actually got around to posting it so here it is.

first off,, i will once again introduce myself since this account is fairly new. hello, my name is mackenzie, call me mackenzie, or zie or mack or whatever you want. this was originally to be my main acc after i deactivacted all my old tumblrs because i planned to start fresh on tumblr again and after watching endgame for the second time last wednesday, this account became a marvel acc strictly so !! yeah follow me lets be friends !! message me whenever if you wanna talk or cry or anything.

to put it bluntly,, endgame fucking sucked.

endgame was meant to tie everything together. endgame was meant to be this great movie to sum everything up and tie it all together and to just make it make sense in other words.

there was so much hype surrounding endgame, so much pressure, so much excitement.

in my opinion? the joint effort of the writers and the directors managed to ruin it all. they managed to take a movie that was supposed to do so much for the mcu, to tie everything together as a final conclusion to this infinity saga and they blew it all up.

endgame wasn’t a horrible movie, but there were multiple parts that i (and multiple others i know of) did not like and i will be going over it in this post.

it’s not just because of steve’s ending, which i know, i know, i’ve bitching and crying about that for a while on this account. it’s more than just steve’s ending.

this post is a little all over the place but i’ll try to keep my thoughts together the best that i can.

just a disclaimer: UNDER THE CUT I WILL BE TALKING IN DEPTH ABOUT THE EVENTS OF AVENGERS: ENDGAME AND THIS WILL INCLUDE MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUT THE MOVIE SO PLEASE BE WARY. (if you haven’t, seriously where the fuck have you been) BUT IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ENDGAME AND DO NOT WISH TO HAVE IT SPOILED PLEASE SCROLL PAST THIS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

okay here we go !! so i made posts before about this but this is gonna just be a big long post about EVERYTHING and i’ll explain everything and why endgame sucked.

originally i had decided to go through scene by scene and talk about each scene but i mean, that’s not really the point of this post and frankly, doing that would probably make this post longer than i want it to be. so i will be focusing on the important scenes. the ones i think are most important to point out and talk about.

as i mentioned above the cut, it’s not just about steve. i know my user is peachrogers and steve rogers has always been my fave avenger. but its more than just steve’s ending and i’ll get into that as we get to it.

i used a transcript while writing this just to help me completely recall everything as it actually was since i don’t consider my memory completely reliable so i linked it if anyone else wants to look at it.

and again, as i mentioned above, i don’t hate everything about endgame. there were parts of endgame i did like and enjoy. tony and nebula playing paper football for example, i thought that scene was very endearing and adorable and carol coming to save them really made me happy.

but at the same time, there were scenes i did not enjoy. and i will be mainly going depth on those scenes since i kinda wanted to just summarize and explain and captalize on why endgame failed at doing the job it was meant to do in tying together these 22 mcu films released in the past 11 years.

so starting at the beginning of the film, after they find thaos and thor chops off his head and they have a five year time skip, we see steve, in a group therapy session.

where steve once again brings up the love of his life and how everyone has to move on. which SPOILER ALERT he doesn’t. this scene, when i first watched i was kinda like whatever, but watching it the second time and watching it now(or even thinking on it), it makes me SO SO mad. pretty sure they kept this scene bc one of the directors is in it. this scene also just makes steve contradict himself since he goes on about how important it is for to move on and yet he just doesn’t even follow his own advice in the end and it aggravates me which i will get into later on.

so skipping to after scott comes out of the time machine van and then steve goes to visit natasha. tbh everytime i watch this scene with natasha and steve, it always just breaks my heart because of the whole:

you know, i keep telling everyone they should move on and… grow. some do. but not us.

(there steve goes again just contradicting himself:(()

and

we both need to get a life.

you first.

and i remember reblogging a gif set of nat and steve with the same caption and i just :( bc of where they end up in the end and it’s just its really sad.

seeing tony and pepper with morgan and the fact that tony has finally achieved a level of normalcy where he has his own life with his wife and his child, it’s really nice to see. he definitely deserves it. and i completely understand tony shutting down steve, nat, and scott because he doesn’t want to risk everything especially if it doesn’t work and he ends up losing it. and i totally understood that.

the diner scene where nat, steve, and scott go to talk to bruce about time travel. first off, i just wanna point off how annoying that scene was ?? especially the part with the kids and them not wanting a pic with scott and apparently they only kept that part in bc one of the kids was one of the director’s kids?? there’s just so much wrong with it.

and now i move on to the great marvel cinematic universe version of time travel. which in itself really hardly makes any sense whatsoever since the directors and the writers both contradict each other on how it works. if you’re going to put time travel in your movie, i really feel like everyone should be on the same page on how it works but i mean, that’s just me.

it took me a little bit to understand it bc what the fuck.

the scene where clint,rhodey, bruce, nebula, and scott are discussing how time travel works and rhodey is just naming off all these time movies where time travel works the way that i see it as working(where your past completely changes your future/butterfly effect/chaos theory) and bruce and nebula basically debunk the whole thing and explain it as how changing your past doesn’t change your future and all the whole thing is just bullshit if you ask me. it’s so hard to understand.

okay im not here to argue about time travel. but let me just give some perspective. for me personally, i just see time travel to work like it did in life is strange because it makes more sense. if you change something in the past, that would directly impact your future. if you go in the past and prevent someone from dying, that would not just change the fact that they didn’t die but other factors would be affected too.

and when they brought in the alternate timelines and the “multiverse” it just made things so much more complicated for me.

and i have tried to educate myself more to understand it, i’ve read through multiple posts on the whole time travel thing and i’ve rewatched movies as well to try and understand.

i guess the biggest thing that didn’t sit well with me is just that the directors and writers WHO YOU WOULD ASSUME would bring some clarity and insight on the matter really just brought more confusion and only contradicted each other and i do Not Like it at all.

but i mean who cares about what we want ? it obviously doesn’t mean shit to them.

moving on.

uh lebowski thor idk at first i really wasn’t into it and i was kinda like wtf but i mean i’ve kinda come to be cool with the change in character. and apparently chris hemsworth was really into it so idk to each their own.

and just for the record: i think we all know that Noobmaster69 is deadpool

also i fucked loved the america’s ass joke but i’m pretty sure everyone did.

okay moving on to stony going to the camp lehigh in the 1970s. really i just want to address the scene where steve hides in peggy’s office. you see on her desk that one picture of steve and the picture of her kids and legiT PEGGY WAS RIGHT THERE IN THE OTHER OFFICE HOW DID SHE NOT SEE STEVE WHAT THE FUCK

god idk just thinking about how it was the 1970s and she still thinks about steve who tbh she hardly knew, especially if you compare him to idk daniel sousa ?? and steve saw the picture of her kids and he still was like lol yeah not moving on.

natasha dying okay yeah that was hard to watch. especially since she got nothing for it. tony gets a whole funeral with everyone and yeah ig she got that one moment with the five of them talking about trying to bring her back but that was it and i hate that. natasha deserved more love more attention more recognition way way more than what she got.

ON YOUR LEFT

okay idk how people heard steve’s avenger assemble when the fucker literally whispered it.

i mean it was really nice seeing everyone coming together and fighting and idk it was just everything to see the final fight against thanos.

ALSO CAP WIELDING MJOLNIR

tony dying, like i definitely did cry and it was sad, but in a way it was okay because he did it for them he did it for everyone.

there was an interview with the writers who said there wasn’t a draft where tony didn’t die and i don’t doubt it because i mean, i think it was needed. i think tony needed to be the one to do it.

and now we get to my favorite part. you know, the worst part of the movie. where steve just ruins everything.

in the process of returning the infinity stones, steve decides to create an alternate timeline with “peggy” and live out his life with her in that timeline while actual steve of that timeline is in ice.

okay listen i was cool with the final dance, i think that was definitely needed and it would’ve been a perfect end for steve to do that and return and idk give up captain america. but instead NO THEY HAVE TO DESTROY ALL OF captain america’s character development, all of peggy carter’s character development, RUIN BUCKY AND JUST RUIN EVERYTHING THAT WASNT OKAY I AM STILL JUST SO UPSET BECAUSE FOR STEVE TO JUST THROW EVERYTHING OUT THE WINDOW AND BE WITH PEGGY IN A DIFFERENT TIMELINE ITS NOT SOMETHING STEVE WOULD DO

we all know that is not something steve would do so it just it killed me and the directors hardly even gave an explanation for it and idk its just its such a let down and im just im not okay with it and i won’t be for a while. steve has always been my favorite avenger and for him to go out like this. its so disappointing, steve rogers deserved a better ending than this.

endgame sucked and its gonna take me a while to accept that endgame actually happened.

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