#idk what makes me happy now. no idea. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ricky-mortis · 2 months

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Richie doodles bc my two current WIPs are actively trying to murder me dead.

Feat. my trans + hard of hearing HCs

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saetoru · 11 months

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al-haitham’s the kind of guy who tilts his head slightly for a kiss before you even lean in to give him one. he just knows it’s coming. expects it. trusts it’ll happen.

he’s yawning when he sits at the table for breakfast, hair slightly disheveled from sleep. he sits down and when you place the mug of coffee in front of him, his head angles a little for that kiss you place on his cheek.

he’s drowned in endless paperwork at the akademiya when you stop by to visit, chuckling when he gives you that look of despair at the all the work he has to do. you don’t even manage to walk up to him fully before he’s leaning in and waiting for the kiss to the top of his head.

he’s shirtless in the bathroom, brushing his teeth at night when you walk in to brush yours too, bumping hips with his as you giggle. you don’t even have to turn before he’s tilting his head so he’s exposed and ready for that gentle peck you leave at his jaw.

“have you ever noticed how demanding you are for these,” you chuckle one day, pressing a kiss to his cheek to prove your point.

he grunts, leaning in and burying his head into your neck as you greet him at the door after a long day. “what makes you say that,” he mumbles.

“you’re ready for one before i’ve even come close,” you grin, “what if one day i don’t kiss you?”

“you’d stop kissing me?” he asks, squeezing your hips as he nuzzles into your neck. something tells you he already knows your answer.

and he’s warm. he’s close. he’s here and he’s everything all at once. he’s all you need and everything you’ve ever wanted. he’s the messy hair of your mornings and the pouty lips of your afternoons and that shirtless back of every night. he meets you halfway—maybe even takes the first step so you don’t have to.

he leans in for that kiss before you do. because he needs you, wants you, loves you—and he never lets you forget it. so you turn your head, press your lips against the side of his head and run your fingers through his hair as he sighs in content.

“no,” you hum, falling in love all over again, “no i’d never stop kissing you.”

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silvers-starrway · 1 month

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So the wildest thing happened where @mactheactor decided to dub over (if that's even the correct terminology) the Chaos Sonic animation I made!!!!

I'm still in utter awe about this like, hands down the coolest thing ever I've been thinking about this non-stop. Hope y'all enjoy it as much as I do!!

#starrway art #sonic prime #chaos sonic #okay now that the nice text for the post is done AHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#I've been screaming about this for the last 24 hours and the shock of it has worn down just enough for me to post this #NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED THIS WOULD HAPPEN IN A MILLION YEARS????#Sonic Prime is what got me on this long hyperfixation in the first place and I've met so many cool people in the fandom #and generally having a blast making art and it's been such a great time #so to then have Deven Mack come in and think that my stuff is awesome is such an insanely cool thing #it means a whole lot is what I'm trying to say haha #I do have to like microdose on this video because it makes me so incredibly happy that I get very overwhelmed by it #In a very good way though it makes me want to run laps outside #thanks to everyone I've met/interacted with so far being some of kindest people y'all are awesome #idk if this post is even like coherent I've been writing it in my mind for the past day because I have no idea how to even go about this #ok good night hehehe

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yangjeongin · 2 years

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HYUNJIN | 2022.04.03

#hwang hyunjin #stray kids #bystay #createskz #staysource #staycompany #malegroupsnet #hyunjin #*gif #*ccarly #*hyunjin #*carly:hyunjin #the mental illness is so strong today i needed hyunjin induced serotonin bc nothing else on this b*tch of an earth is making me happy today #i did feel better for the hour i worked on this. thank you hyunjin i love you #back to Loitering now <3 #or maybe i'll find smth else to gif idk if u have any hyunjins u want me to gif hmu i have no idea what to gif

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sun-marie · 4 months

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It's been a while since I last thought seriously about Dr*gon A*e (even prior to falling in love with BG3) and I think a big part of that is I'm not as big a fan of the setting and the worldbuilding as I used to be. Like to me it really does feel like BW looked at typical fantasy settings and went "hmm okay but what if there was Catholic-enforced racism and abelism". And like. Cool thought experiment bro. Do we really need three games made by primarily white guys about that.

#dragon age critical #marie speaks #idk if ableism is the best comparison for mage oppression but idk you get my larger point #I've heard that DA was supposedly BW's critical response to settings like Forgotten Realms after making the og BG games #and idk if that's true but I'd be willing to believe that bc that's what a lot of it's world building feels like #“oh u thought the elves where gonna be ethereal and respected? nah they're a haphazard blend of irl oppressed groups”#“oh u thought this fantasy world was gonna have a plethora of interesting and dynamic deities and gods? nah it's just fantasy Catholicism”#“oh u thought people who can use magic would have respected places in society? nah they're locked in jail for being Different”#like I feel like these ideas were kinda cool for one game. An expanded thought experiment #but idk if they were strong enough to sustain an entire franchise #without significantly expanding their pool of writers to get the perspectives of people they're attempting to represent at least #but that's a whole different issue #anyway DA has some legit cool concepts like the Grey Wardens that I will always love #and most of their early character work is still really strong #but for me every time that setting rears it's head problems arise #anyway if you're still a DA fan that's totally fine! I'm very happy for you!#don't let my salty ramblings spoil what resonates with you from these games #I'm just reflecting bc it used to be a huge part of my life especially through like all of highschool #and now it's just. not.

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opens-up-4-nobody · 9 months

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...

#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog #didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move #across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s #so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help #with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the #location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright #colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird #like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the #southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December #it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but #i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and #jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen #im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and #the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier #for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy #but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked #up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents #r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes #better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book #like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated

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the-gayest-sky-kid · 11 months

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one thing they dont tell you abt not expecting to make it to this point is how it fucks up your plans for the foreseeable future

#sorry for getting depressing i just need it out because i dont want to talk with my therapist about it yet and i cant tell my mom #but like.... i was never expecting to make it to my birthday. for the the lasr #2?#maybe even 3 years #especially last year and now and like #now its like 2 months away and i. dont know what i want again #we just go to ihop because my sister likes it #like i tried to get ideas with my mom and i. dont have any #i cant do anything i used to think was fun and i dont have anything i. Want now #i can do presents. just give me a budget and i can work that out #but fucking. plans? i just. i just. i dont want anything. nothing seems special or important anymore #it all feels like another day. and i just. god i dont even know what cake i want.#can i even have cake? it'll just give me a headache anyway #and like..i guess its in part to how i can barely visualize anything in the future nowadays #i cant be happy for something a month ahead anymore. not even something in a week #and i just. god #personal posts and stuff idk #aethers rants #cw vent #tw vent #cw sui ideation #alluded to. i guess

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fiepige · 7 months

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Read these great tags from @the-cat-and-the-birdie and I couldn't get the idea of Venom!Hobie in a pillow nest out of my brain so I just had to:

This is a dark and serious AU I swear!!! 😭

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puppyeared · 5 months

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Xin Ya is so cute and well designed! more a question than a comment but I just love your style

thank u!! im currently redoing bits of their backstory and design so hopefully ill get some more art of them up soon

#ive already shared a bit of it with crow but rn im reworking their personality and backstory #mostly bc ive decided to change it a little and made baby xin real. so they do start off as a tiny little guy #and then grow at a normal pace. also took out the trauma so they dont know anything abt the circumstances of their creation #but now ive replaced it with bigger trauma >:o) hehehehe #i dont really have anything to fixate on and lmk kind of died off in my neurons a while ago so im just drawing whatever comes to mind #idk if id call it an artblock though cause i have the itch to draw but im not really sure WHAT to draw. maybe ill make character designs #for fun and post them here... or maybe ill work on my oc stories idk............#although i have been meaning to make a voice claim video for xin and an animatic idea ive had for months but idk how long that will take #im rambling but yes!! thank u for the kind words!!! it makes me happy to hear ppl love my designs hehehe #if i got myself to draw more furry art im sure i could have a lot of fun with that.. or opened myself up to the idea of multiple sonas #god i have so many ideas for sonas.. id love to make myself some sort of badger or stoat sona cause they look cool #yapping #ask

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corntort · 9 months

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someone needs 2 study the effect of being trans (specifically masculine presenting trans people) and the need to reject any and all femininity

#viewing myself as a trans man for a very very long time and only Recently deciding that doesn't fit #has led me to realize i have like internalized a LOT of like. genuinely harmful ideas of how others should 'present'#stemming purely from my own insecurity in the need to Pass #(at first at least for a few years. then i chilled out a little and tackled my self consciousness and grew Very happy with how i presented)#(body n all)#and now that i went thru w T (initially didn't want to) and have a good handful of both characteristics #making it VERY hard for anyone to fully tell what i am gender wise. and also really really embracing femininity #i've come to realize how DIFFICULT ive made it for myself to fully embrace it #because i was a man for the longest time and then just Further internalized a lot of misogyny #IDK just thinking a lot. workin to dismantle a lot of that nasty shit #thanks for listening to my little ramble LOL. ilu #if i lost a little nuance in this don't take it in bad faith im mega uber distracted rn #rambles

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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

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Hey Uncle Nina! I hope this doesn't sound rude, but why aren't you on AO3 anymore? I miss you :(

hi, anon! no this is not rude at all -- that is a very valid question! plus, it can be really confusing and disheartening when an author that you follow on ao3 randomly stops posting! i totally, totally get it! <3 :')

but for me, at least, posting my updates onto ao3 got suuuper stressful and unpleasant. like literally shredded my mental health.

but this!!! this is Fun for me <3 :) there's just somethin abt tumblr, idk.

i was holding myself to all these standards on ao3, stressing myself the fuck out...& i know i'm not supposed to delete the asks i respond to, but its nice that if i feel that compulsion, i can delete stuff/edit it without it being this big, gigantic thing i'm tampering w/.

...because an ask disappearing when i'm anxious is a bummer, but me deleting Entire Chapters and possibly entire fanfictions because of panic attacks i got...due largely in part to the ungodly Stress i incurred while writing them? not cute.

also, it was a little different when style/sp was super popular on ao3 and there were new fanfics/updates for stories everyday so when you posted something, it was very low stakes and if you just gave the tags a couple hours, your fic could be washed away onto page 2/3...

...but ohHHHHH my god its so SLOW right now!!! that i shit you not updates are sitting on the front page for like multiple days??? which is nice for people that want exposure ( and deserve it tbh! ) but a large part of the ao3 posting stress was me...watching my fic get views and not get kudosed or commented on so...if i was updating rn, i would be in hell. and i'm already in hell 25/8 doing my damn job.

which! i'm a working lady! i'm very busy and stressed! running a tumblr blog is waaaay less stressful than constantly updating a fanfiction tbh. and whats more? this is stress relieving for me. <333

i enjoy this little community of people who like my content on tumblr. its less vulnerable than a03 and way less aggressive than twitter. fr. you guys are super nice to me on here and i never feel stressed or pressured ever to post stuff. <33 its really fun for me to be able to answer really super specific questions about my fanfic for people who are actively seeking out that information! like its very...curated.

and its very specific in terms of my fanfics/ncuniverse stuff, but its nice for me because i can post a variety of diff content! like i can post up my little para things, snippets of dialogue, be silly and goofy in my ask memes, but also really serious in my ask memes, i can be in depth or mysterious, sad, funny, happy, really weird like idk you guys, i really enjoy the freedom i have on here to...create without limits? ig

it feels like i can give you a shit ton of information in different mediums without having to update my fanfics, like, idk, i guess its probably not as exciting to see my ask meme answers as it is to get fanfic updates, but i try to make them like little updates, yknow? it was also really annoying to have to keep you guys in the dark abt stuff in my fics/ideas i have bc i...havent updated, so now its like!! i can tell you stuff again which!!! AAAA!!! makes me so happy omg

but yeah, sorry for the sudden switch. sorry for not really writing but...this is much better for me. i feel a lot safer and comfortable doing this. i like answering my ask memes...i like talking to yall. in terms of my fanfics, i'm not entirely sure what that means...like if i'm going to update on ao3 or if i'm gonna just post experimental updates or pieces of my fics on here? if i'm just gonna tell all my stories thru elaborate answers to ur questions...

idk! IDK! and thats okay. i am having fun and i hope you have fun. thats all that matters. <3

-uncle nina in her healing idgaf era

#sorry tldr #ao3 was stressful #i dont like twitter #i like tumblr i like doing my asks i like answering ur specific questions and idk i feel like we built a lovely community on here #where like u guys ask me stuff u wanna know and i tell u idk i feel like we are having a little book club i like it here #i like that i can like make ooc posts like hey guys what do we think about the style yuri? when im off 3 ciders #or that i can in depth describe scenes to you through the hc asks and you get that info but in a less stressful and formal way #than it would be if i had to write that up as a para #but then the freedom to write para things or long form stuff or even just dialogue and post that to a group of people who are excited 4 it #like theres just so much possibility and its very low stakes #if i get overwhelmed answering the big ask memes i can take a break w/o consequence or do less serious asks #i can shoot you guys ideas and also talk about my life in a safe place where i feel supported #i can drop you guys experimental stuff i'm worried about and have it received by people who will be kind to me abt it in ways i am not ofte #with myself idk like this blog seriously saved my life a little #and i am very happy here and i love you guys and i love my stupid tumblr abt my stupid au style fics with the best readers in the world #i hope people are okay with me being a tumblr primary ff retired for now girlie i'm sorry if thats upsetting but i also try to keep it cute #on here like i feel like we can just do so much more like this and i can talk to you guys and be so specific idk i love this sm

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currentlyonstandbi · 1 year

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#look this was probably the most experimental post i've ever done considering i had to make the newspaper article from scratch #and to be entirely honest i uuuh im not happy with it lmao #i should've done an obituary instead of the article but too late ! i have no energy to start again #but whatever .the point is that the article is supposed to allude to alex's death okay so yes obituary would've worked better but too bad #idk i think i just had a massive brain blegh halfway through which sucks because i was thinking about this post all day #but the idea behind the whole concept and the QUOTE in the first place and the stupid article concept #was the idea that nigel wasn't the only one to kill himself at the end of the film #alex did too . just not in the literal sense #alex kills the old version of himself . kills the who he used to be #this did not do that quote or the intention behind the post justice but i'm just gonna dump it here and go #also deep in tags is the best place for me to put the random shit i'm thinking of and i've had the trainyard scene on my mind lately #but i left my thoughts to simmer too long and now it's been reduced into thickness 😞 but anyway #greg may have been too much of a coward to give them the maraclea ending they deserved #but he will never be able to take away the fact that the trainyard scene will always be their version of the myth TO ME and me only probs #okay because that story is supposed to parallel the typical conventions of marriage - the consumation when he lays with the body #and then 9 months later the skull symbolises a birth resulting from their union #that moment at the railway ? where nigel shoots himself with the very gun alex is holding?#that's their consumation babes; their union; their wedding #'pray for me pray for yourself we're one now' may as well be their vows #and what do we get as a result of that union 9 months later? we get jack #jack is the product of these 2 people becoming 1 and just like the skull granted great power to the lord #so too does jack grant power to alex; the power to take control of his life and forge his own path forward #me making this post 🤝 cats : oooooo big stretch #seriously #lowkey glad no one will see this in the tag search lmao #like minds

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fleuraimer · 5 months

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#evelyn speaks #there’s nearly 150 of u now #like #what r y’all doing #following silly little me??#anywho #i wanted to do something special for 100 but then we surpassed that RQ #so now ig we’re celebrating 150 but idk HOW #like a poll?#let y’all pick the next concept?#or something different?#idk 🤷🏽‍♀️#but none of this is to say i’m not unbelievably grateful for ur support #seeing y’all’s notes reblogs and replies literally make my f*cking day like it’s actually unreal #and i would love to do something special for you guys i js don’t know WHAT!!#idk if u have any ideas lmk #i literally always wanna talk w you guys it makes me feel so happy

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darlingbudsofrae · 2 years

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about the pro-allison thingy...

I am one of the firm advocates and believers that Allison Reynolds would either go pro or do both (fashion and exy) but recently, I’ve been thinking about her ec and I think I’m beginning to see where Nora came from.

The short summary of the argument for the point of Allison choosing to go pro is this: Allison gave up her millions of dollars of inheritance for exy, got disowned for persisting to play it, and pretty much chose a bastard sport over her privileges. She fought tooth and nail to be a part of the court and despite her looks, she brawled with the best and the best. Therefore, it’s only natural that she pursues it in the future, right? Right??

That’s what I thought too, but then that leaves a new question unanswered: why is it given that she pursues it in the future? Does that mean an effort of fighting for something you love is futile unless it’s the end goal? Does your passion for something need to be your destination for it to be a worthy dream to fight for?

And I will be completely contradicting my prior Allison-centric posts but no, I think the answer is no. Because the truth is, Allison didn’t fought for exy. Exy was the thing that made her fight back from her controlling and overbearing parents, it was the thing that made her feel alive and free. And while she chose to play collegiate exy over her millions of inheritance, it isn’t something she necessarily see pursuing in the future and I think that’s okay. It doesn’t make her fight for it worthless and it wouldn’t render that choice a downgrade to her character because the fight wasn’t about exy at all. It’s about what she wants and exy just so happened to be the catalyst at that moment. She didn’t gave everything up for a sport she ended up not pursuing full-time— she gave it all up for control of her life. And if what pushes her to do so is not a dream she plans to pursue full-time but a mere hobby that she could come back to from time to time, something that gives her a short thrill but not the thing that she can see herself doing for the rest of her life, the stop point or journey along the way but not necessarily the destination— is that really so wrong?

#i had a point and i'm pretty sure i can articulate it better in my native language but u'r stuck with this and maybe that's okay too <33 #all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #the raven king #the king's men #nora sakavic #allison reynolds #i guess what i'm trying to say is that is it really a waste to fight for something if it's not the thing u'll pursue in the future?#like can't we just fight for what we want now regardless if it's a forever thing??#does it need to be a lifetime pursuit or can't we just fight for what we want without catering to anyone's expectations??#idk i'm just saying can't we be passionate just for the sake that we love it #i swear i could articulate this better in my native language y'all english is hard #give it a few days i'm sure someone in the fandom could articulate this better than i ever could lol #i still like the idea of allison going pro but i don't mind now if she pursues being in fashion full time #like good for her whatever makes her happy u go girlboss #also in another edition of me reaching cuz i'm pretty sure nora didn't thought this deep abt it but if she ever did honestly respecc bruhh #also supplemental: in the chance that what she is fighting for is actually exy it still doesn't mean she has to go all the way #your passion is still valid regardless if you go full-time or nadda #this took a peachy preachy turn lmao i'm leaving if u'r reading this hi ily <33 #bye #raeraegoaway

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mielgf · 1 year

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just finished my first read of little women and i will never be the same

#literally cried so many times it reminded me why i love literature so much #the book felt like a warm hug it made me so happy from start to finish #watching the 2019 movie rn and crying profusely once again #new personality trait acquired i can’t #it was such a perfect fall time read for me like it just gave me so much comfort and joy #beth march… my sweet girl i have cried over her character repeatedly throughout the day #also it was for a class and my prof has been telling us all how louisa may alcott was prob a lesbian and been encouraging us to read #the book with an open mind to the idea of jo being queer/gender queer and i just… love him so much for that #he is a cishet man but the most fierce ally ever #anyway that’s all i have to say for now but i might have more as i think about it in the coming days #talk time #also timothee chablagoo as laurie… makes him so much more naturally charasmatic than what i picked up from laurie in the books #like laurie in the books at least in part 1 feels like such a fumbling mess of a boy #but in the most endearing way possible #but timothee makes him charming from the first time him and jo meet #maybe it’s cause he’s objectively attractive idk 😭 or maybe that’s just him but yeah that’s just a lil not #saoirse as jo… oh my god she is so beyond perfect i can’t handle it

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cinna-bunnie · 10 months

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fictional or not, dragon lore is always so interesting.

#I'm watching a DS3 lore video on the nameless king bc i wanted to figure out wtf is the dragonslayer armor's deal #but the greater lore around the dragons is SO fucking good and now I'm thinking about dragons lol #i could watch these dark souls/elden ring lore videos by VaatiVidya all day tbh #i LOVE how deep he goes with it. these worlds and their lore already feel huge but #as someone who's only played the third dark souls it rly makes me appreciate how complex and interconnected it is as a series.#sometimes i wonder if the creators ever watch these vids and think “we didn't mean all that but that's a great idea”#or if they watch it and get super happy like YES that is exactly what our subtle storytelling meant.#either way i have So so much respect for ppl who go and put together these lore videos #going as far as to look at game dumps and early releases/cut content and ALL the dialogue and item descriptions #for any one topic the lore is so scattered about and piecing together any single thing seems like such a massive undertaking.#like lmaooo i can't even follow a single questline without pulling up the wiki #a recent rabbit hole i went down too is how there are different times/realities even just DS3 takes place in?#like how in Untended Graves you see a world without light where darkness rules - and in ringed city when ur fighting those #dragons in the base of that big tree that's supposed to be the original firelink shrine and then the shrine u use is maybe The Past?#the past relative to the other shrine from the world where the flame went out w darkness ruling.#idk how the transition works from being in that one dude's garden in ur world to just walking right into the other one but idc.#just say i got twilight zoned or somethn lol. always. very interesting stuff :^} I'm not smart enough to pick up on anything in the moment #but it's SO fun watching what other people pieced together whose whole thing is that they go thru these games thoroughly.#and in a way it makes me not want to stop playing DS/ER bc there's just so much going on here that's so rewarding??#like. on TOP of the suuper deep lore the gameplay is also just super fun and u get HELLA weapons and special moves #and the modding scene has made some hella streamline tools that are so good these have been the first games I've ever MADE mods for!#like i can't think of any other games that are like this where I'm really encouraged it make it my own with such a helpful and #engaging community. I'm sure there r other games out there that are similarly engaging with deep lore and streamlined modtools #and mod communities but (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) 1. where?? 2. DS/ER are very beloved to me.#it's funny how little u have to know or do to beat their respective storylines. I've played them both a ton and still know so little.#and when i walk away from these lore vids I'm always like Woah 😵‍💫 yk? anyways.. that's my lil rant :3 back to work now

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