#idk sorry im rambling on a very simple ask. but u get my point. the point being that i have a critical mass of autism. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

foolishlovers · 5 months

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i think you deleted the post where u were asking about how to title fics but i was 3/4th the way through before i realized so im sending an ask. idk if you still want this, but i gotta dump this SOMEWHERE, so now you're stuck with multiple examples of how to title a fic from my own personal experiences. this gives me an excuse to ramble about them a bit. im sorry

okay but really here's the tldr before i start; i only go for lyrics when i really like the song/line and it fits with a central idea, but ultimately? i bullshit it--but with intricate methods. let us begin...

example 1) rolling with a theme

let me start with one of my favorite fics im writing to get me going. the title: do you remember hanging up the stars. this process was honestly very tedious, but im gonna try and put it in a simple format.

so rolling with a theme. this fic is a canon divergence au, where hell is slightly more competent and kicks crowley out of his flat and replaces him with shax like a month after the appcalypse. so pretty quickly! therefore, this throws crowley very off-kilter, thus resulting in aziraphale picking up the very obvious hints and deciding to Make crowley move in with him instead of Talking about it. its a longfic, and i knew from the start that i wanted this title to be grand And related. so, i made a list of the themes that would be explored.

- crowley and his relationship with the stars

- trust in multiple facets (humans and their competence, their trust in each other now that theyre unemployed and recovering, etc)

- non-verbal communication, despite its flaws, can be one of the best ways to show love

- romance manifesting in different forms but are all valid

so i have that list, and i pick the one that's the most important--for this, i chose the stars. then i diffused THAT--what about the stars makes it interesting? what makes crowley long for them so much? i chose distance--crowley, in the show, has a very dettached attitude towards his angelic self. he doesnt hold that self to any higher importance, because why should he? and yeah, he's valid in this, but he also ends up putting off his stars to that angel, not him. he thinks that because he took such pride, such responsibility for them Before, he shouldn't care now, that he should deny this part of hid past and make himself more miserable because of it. but he does want to take pride, he loved AND loves them so fucking much, and he's just hurting himself more the process. i want him to realize that his mark on the world shouldn't be a burden, shouldnt just be a silly little assignment from before the fall. that heaven wants him to forget, that hell wants him to be disgusted by it, that he's doing what they want. that, if fact, it would piss everyone off if he actually owned up to it. i want aziraphale to help him realize it. i want aziraphale to encourage him. so that's where the title comes in: "he looked at you like you were hanging the stars", but Tweaked. taking a kind of common line and twisting it so it fits This. so. wow i went on tangent. im sorry. the rest will be a lot shorter and actualy helpful 😭 the point is that you could treat the title as a summary but even SHORTER. goes with what sounds right, and also don’t think about it too much. OKAY MOVING ON

example 2) rolling with a theme (song lyric edition)

okay next example. title: hold me like you’re scared to. it’s a lyric from the song ‘use me like you do’ by noah floersch. it’s a titanic ‘au’ (don’t judge me please 🥹) about aziraphale and crowley on the boat and getting through millennium of fear of being together while also on a detective noir like adventure. themes are easier to see here: the fear of being caught. afraid of showing your love. and I’d already happened to have a song I really liked, but I could really just listen to any song at any one point and be very inspired. you can also study lyrics from places you really like, if you REALLY want it to be a lyric :)

example 3) resonating with a Word

is there a word that’s repeated a lot in the fic? a word that has Meaning? a single concept summarized in a word that’s important here? that’s a title. you have a good title. example title: please. it’s very centered on begging, and the mc has like heavyyyyy memory problems and is trying to grasp the little wisps they have that are slowly slipping away. like stated before, you don’t have to think about it too hard. wanna make the summary the definition of that word? double whammy!

example 4) canon line/something from the fic

this is for very specific things but let’s say you’ve got like. A really good catchphrase in the fic you came up with. or the fic centers around a diverged canon scene. just pluck it and use it! example title: burn fast, burn bright. one of the reoccurring phrases is the metaphor ‘the candle that burns twice and bright burns half as long’. I just condensed it for the title. :)

and here's a couple tips on what Not to do:

- don’t make it too long. 1 because it’s harder to search, 2 because it’s harder to remember, and 3 bc it would honestly be a handful. it’s a preference, but considerable.

- make sure it relates to the fic in Some way, in literally any capacity. in the same ballpark, don’t

- make sure you like it. you’re going to be refering to the fic with that name for the rest of time.

so yes. I hope this is like. a starting point, at least. if you made this far, you endured the fic rambling (I presume) and for that I thank you. good luck with all your wips, and wish you ultimate good fortune, as well as luck on your tumblr secret santa au. :33

i don’t even know what to say!! thank you, thank you, thank you!! it is so so very kind of you to write all of this, to explain all of this to me, i’m so grateful for all your thoughts and ideas and i’ll keep all of this in mind when i’ll (hopefully??) pick the title for me tumblr secret santa au today!!

#please never ever say for rambling!!#i ASKED for this and i loved every second of it #i’m sending u all virtual flowers 🌸 🌷🌻🌼🌹#i can’t believe u took so much time to help me i can’t thank you enough!!!!#seven-stars-in-his-palm #answered #good omens fanfic #fanfic titles #good omens

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rosewinelonging · 2 years

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mm thinkin bout projohn. i know its not ur cup of tea but its just fun to think about, sburb is the thing that matures john- much too fast and when he wasnt at an age ready for it. it was a force of nature, something he could not at all understand or ask questions about beyond what he was told.

bro gives him the same maturity, but with a layer of humanity. john is a lot more like jane than anyone recognizes, he puts a wall between himself and what greatly effects him- he just doesnt break it like jane does.

with bro, john gets that humanity- though also cruel and harsh john knows its a purrson, and can accept what is given much easier,

bro is a systematic purrson, he keeps everything in a specific corner of his mind and refuses to let it down- like dirk. but john as a breath player, changes the flow of things. bro never wants to settle down, he wants to keep going and with someone who both goes with and changes the flow at will- it puts that control in jeopardy- possibly relating to a... ehem "dominance issue" that puts him both in control and out of it. johns no pushover, he wants what's right and he will scheme to get it. bro- even as a aplinter of dirk- misjudges such action.

anyeewayz sorry for the ramble and thanks 4 ur thyme, '^u^

mannn i like brojohn i think ive made a few posts abt them but yea i dont talk as much since i wasnt sure if my followers liked it lol

BUT YES!!! holy shit anon i loveeee thinking abt things like this and doin all analysis like with dynamics and god u hit every mark

honestly ive been thinkin abt john a lot these past couple days. hes a passive player who causes so much change even to those who dont realize it. he goes alongs with things bc he doesnt have the time to think abt stuff and bc of this his outward expression to ppl is. hes easy! hes simple and he listens bc thats whats expected of him, he doesnt have the chance to say no to anything though thats not the reality

as an heir of breath, freedom is his whole deal. he naturally falls into the into the inability to be tied down and in the future as things progress AFTER he begins to process things is when he starts doing things his way, a surprise to people around him who thought him simply passive [ie. refusing to give vriska the ring, beating caliborn up, etc etc]

and combined with the fact of, as you said, the wall of forced repression it very much leads a lot of people, specifically people who pride themselves on 'manipulation' or just crave dominance by understanding others, to misunderstand him severely. which is very VERY good. its such a thing i love with characters and the dynamic possibilities are endless

which is why i rlly like john paired with characters like bro [or even vriska, condy, etc THOSE types of characters] cause you get that misunderstanding and struggle of power. and yes he would misjudge johns actions or intentions which honestly can be funny as fuck

im less confident abt my uhhh perception? i guess of. all striders really i have a version in my mind but idk how close to canon it really is but for me i see bro as a more extreme version of dirk. he would set everything up in his head and it WILL go the way he thinks it will. views the world as more um i guess the best way to explain is in boxes. everything has a set purpose and he compartmentalizes things so it all works in a well oiled machine

so when it comes to john- they would meet, forces him into maturity in anyway you can imagine, and of course this isnt some mystical force from the universe. its a person which WOULD make things easier to understand leading to less passivity once he gets his thoughts together. OR you could say bro had already formed an opinion on john by observing his actions with say like dave! or possibly even rose since she the one he listens to most w/o question

either way it comes to a point that john is likely to fight back or act in a way that goes against the predetermined expectations. john would let him do whatever he wants before suddenly turning around and deciding. he doesnt want to do something and so he simply will not. its a complete toss up that will leave bro stumbling

of course at this point i want to point out that this is what makes dirkjohn fundamentally different from brojohn. dirk and john are on pretty equal footing bc of age which makes the expected power struggle an either-or situation where it could go both ways

while bro has a much larger advantage bc of age [assuming john is 13 - 16] and general appearance [sorry. short john propaganda i cant see him as anything over 5'5 lol]

so naturally bro would still get that control but it means nothing with the fundamental misunderstanding of john. its like he would take simple actions to the extreme [believing he has planned things out when it was really spur of the moment] or any scheming he does as not planned bc he wouldnt get WHY he would that and bc he doesnt understand why he would do something it means he wouldnt have done it

but yea anon you managed to hit exactly why i like thinking abt them. i love love love the idea of their relationship being built on bro just. not understanding how john works. which i explore a lot in royalty au's lol its fun to do court scheming and political drama

bros playing 3d chess while johns playing checkers

ummmm so yea! i like john a whole lot hes one of my favorites to think abt an brojohn less bc of the ship an more bc of that specific flavor i get from it

WAIT! ok before i forget. the only thing ive really been thinking abt these past couple days is john with women vs john with men. essentially boils down to if a woman asked he would be on his knees in an instant. you say jump he asks how high etc etc hed act out enough to get attention but not really to destablize the power dynamic

but he just absolutely refuses to willingly sub for a man. or if he does it doesnt end like he wants it to. so the only way to get him to submit is by harsh force and even then hes a brat till the end. takes pleasure in making bros life just that much harder

ok anyway back to ending notes. yea i like them! i like pretty much any m/m ship as long as johns in it LOL like if youre worried abt me not bein into something remember this:

any girl with any other girl? yes. im literally in the middle of making a doc of every dynamic between all human and troll girls whether they have a canon one or not

any girl with any guy? this is a toss up. if i like / post a lot abt the girl in the ship then yea id prob like it. i dont mind any of the human guys. i dont care for any of the troll guys. well. i like eridan most times, hes fun and im an aquarius and tavros in certain moods.

any guy with any guy? if one of them is john the answer is probably yes. hes my little darling and he surpasses gender. my Only issue with june is that i dont like the name change bc i cant get used to it lol but basically theres no difference in my mind with them when it comes to gender fuckery. an also i switch genitals based on mood so i guess thats something but yea i love him lots esp when it comes to stuff like this where u analyze his character <3

despite my content. i Would say that john is my unanimous favorite character

ALSO im literally writing a long fic where brojohn is the main focus lol well that and davejohn but he literally only gets sex scenes w bro sooooo

but yea go ahead an ramble in my askbox i rlly enjoy it cause i get to ramble back <33

#anon #john #bro #i havent been around for a bit. taking a break #i have a few other asks i havent answered that i will Get to. one day lol #i answered this one since its aligned to what ive been thinkin abt an i didnt have to write prose like <3

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wizkiddx · 3 years

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heyheyhey idk if u do req but love your dad tom stuff! PLZ PLZ do tom helping his kids with homework but cant do it and reader has to help and its all fluffy 😩💕

ye im down to do req and this had me going completely ott cos its v cute (and a lot less angsty than what ive written recently aha) so apologies for my ramblings:

Summary: tom has the kids for a day and maths homework throws a spanner in the works - tomhollandxreader

implied smut + v slight reference to porn but basically just fluff I promise xox

\\\\\\\\\\\\///////////

Tom had dealt with a lot of whining today. Nova and Leo were the absolute joys of his life, there was no doubt about it. Of course, he also loved you a hell of a lot too - sometimes to his detriment though, hence the position he was in now.

You’d had a busy week at work and he had been away for the first half of it - leaving you as an almost single mother to a 5 and a 7 year old. So completely fairly, you’d asked if he wouldn’t mind watching the kids for a the day on Sunday, allowing you to go to a friends baby shower. There was no answer but to agree, Tom loved quality time with the kids and he wanted you to kick back and relax with you friends too.

However the afternoon had not been nearly as idealistic as it were supposed to be in his head. You had left him only one real job (apart from the unavoidable essentials of keeping the kids alive with food and water, something you’d hope he need not be reminded about now). Really it shouldn’t of been that hard, it was just each kid had two pieces of homework. After convincing and cajoling the kids into sitting at the table which he’d already set up with Nova’s ‘Liverpool FC’ and Leo’s ‘captain marvels’ pencil case, the English was easy.

In fact 5 year old Leo took great joy out of writing a poem with his Dad, which basically involved trying to rhyme any word with another - especially when he tried to convince Tom that all his completely fictitious words were real and worked together. A personal favourite had been ‘snakes’ and ‘palakes’ which Leo was convinced meant pancakes - arguing so vehemently Tom almost started to doubt himself on basic English.

Thankfully though his eldest and most sensibly child eventually took him out his misery. If anyone had any control over the Holland boys, Leo and Tom - it was the Holland girls. You and Nova had both boys completely under you spell, often taking advantage of the fact too. It was only when Nova got bored of hearing Tom and Leo mock arguing, interspersed with the little boys giggles that Tom tried his absolute hardest to keep a straight face at, that she swooped in.

“Stop being silly Leo, mummy told you he’s not good at school!” She looked oh so innocent, eyes immediately flicking down to continue the little short story she was happily going on with. In response Tom scowled, knowing your highly curious and intelligent daughter had asked you (for one reason or another) why he was not so academic. Yet instead of Leo bursting out laughing, instead he just nodded and accepted it too - making Tom scowl even more. Not even Leo thought it was a joke.

So apart from his children apparently taking pity on his simple mind, it was all going smoothly. Perhaps, due to the thankful fact your children had inherited their brains from their mother - something Tom was forever thankful for, until he was shamed for his substandard intellect in the family. Then again though, he was Spiderman. So take that.

Until Nova brought out her maths sheet. Then the afternoon quickly descended into chaos. It was fractions, something she hadn’t quite grasped from school yet - a concept that still hurt her head somewhat. Normally though it’d be fine, she’d bring the sheet to you and the two of you used ‘ girl power’ to figure it out… you prior experience as a tutor while in uni helping you know how to break through to her.

Unfortunately Tom didn’t share this same experience. Nor did Tom share a maths qualification… something that had evaded him completely during his schooling career. Of course, it had never been a particular issue, acting didn’t require the use of maths and algebra and Tom was in a very lucky position of being able to pay someone to manage his finances from a very young age. So no, dividing 2/3 and 3/7 didn’t come the most naturally to him. Or at all to be quite honest.

“I CANT DO IT AND GRACE IN MY CLASS COULD!” For context, Grace was one of her school friends, who forever liked to compare herself to the young Holland - especially because she was normally ahead. Nova had gone from quiet frustration, staring at the questions with her tongue sticking out slightly, to one of pure rage - yelling at her dad with tears in her eyes. Nova was normally incredibly intuitive, she always found it difficult when she couldn’t do something. Now, with a ‘teacher’ who was more useless than her - the frustrations inevitably bubbled over.

“Hey, we can work it out, just calm-“

“YOU CANT DO IT EITHER YOUR STUPID “ She was just young and frustrated, Tom tried not to take it personally but … it wasn’t always easy. Chiefly because this was the height of offensive statement Nova knew - this was her version of adult explicit language.

“Nova you can’t be rude.” He used his stern voice, something Tom very rarely used with his little girl. Though he never wanted to upset her, neither did he want her to think it was ever okay to be so rude to anyone like that- no matter how crappy at maths they were. It hurt him to do so but it was necessary - life lessons about the importance of being kind needed to be learnt. And it worked… if what Tom was aiming for was his beautiful baby girl’s eyes to brim with sparkling tears, her bottom lip quivering slightly.

Instantly Tom’s eyebrows drooped, trying to fight his natural reaction to scoop her onto his knee and reassure her everything was okay. But as you had lectured him many a time before, he had to put his foot down once in a while. So instead, the father and daughter were locked in a silence and intense eye contact, until Nova hesitantly began to speak.

“I’m sorry Daddy.” During which, Nova shoved her chair back, making it screech against the tiled floors uglily before running off up the stairs. Tom knew she was crying a lot. Knew this was going to take a bit of fixing.

With a sigh of his daughters name, Tom popped his head into the living to check on Leo who had already finished all his stuff. Seeing him completely zombified in front of ‘paw patrol’ on TV, Tom trudged up the stairs. He knew where she was, when Nova was upset she always hid in the corner of her wardrobe and cried in the darkness. So after steadying himself with a little internal monologue of how to approach the situation Tom walked in and sat down beside the wardrobe - knocking on the door slightly.

“Nova… can we talk please?” All he heard was sniffing echoing from the wooden chamber until she tried to shout through the door.

“Go-go… go away daddy.” It broke his heart, the way her voice wavered, making Tom pout - gently letting his head fall against the wardrobe doors.

“I don’t want you to be upset beautiful…. And you did apologise which I appreciate. You know why Daddy got angry right?” Her sniffles heightened before she muttered a quiet ‘yes’. “And you are sorry? Because that might’ve made me really sad too.”

“I’m s-s-sorry, I didn’t mean it.”

“Then that’s good and we don’t need to cry. You want a cuddle little one?” Before Tom could even properly get up the door was being pushed open by her little hands, revealing a tear stained face and big glassy eyes looking up at her Dad. Swiftly Tom scooped her up and out of the cupboard, whispering to her while she buried her face in his chest.

“Oh come here my little bean.”

//////////////////////

When you came home late that evening, only mildly exhausted from spending the whole day gossiping with your girls, it was weirdly quiet. All the lights were out in the front room, which made you close the door gently, thinking Tom had managed to exhaust the kids - and himself in the process. With a relieved sigh at the peace you pattered into the kitchen to get yourself a drink (it had been a little concern that Tom would’ve worked the kids into a hyperactive and delerious state that kept them up long past bedtime - which ultimately you’d have to deal with). The house was remarkably silent and though it was clear from the littered toys everywhere that it had indeed been Tom alone in charge, everything seemed pretty okay.

It was only as you were about to head upstairs to join your hubby in bed that you realised the study light was still on, streaming through the small crack in the doorframe. Assuming Tom had just neglected to turn it off, in otherwords Tom being Tom, you nudged it open with your hand. Surprisingly though, there was your husband, hunched over the desk, looking almost angrily focused - between the computer screen and a piece of paper below him. Normally you would’ve just assumed it was another script sent over or an edit Harry had sent of another screenplay they were writing together.

But no, the blatant red flag was the screen that you could see. A screen on YouTube, of a man pointing at a whiteboard of fractions.

So with a soft wrist you wrapped your knuckled on the side of the door, even if you had technically already entered the room. The reaction had you stifling a laugh, it was as if you’d caught him watching something *less PG* the way he jumped out his seat, closing the browser immediately.

“Love!! I -er … didn’t know you’d got back?”

“I just did.” You smiled gently, while walking into stand behind his chair, wrapping your arms round his neck and pressing a kiss to his jaw. “Soooo…. what’ca doingggg” The glee in your voice was evident, making Tom groan and shut his eyes.

“I hate you, you know that right?”

“No you don’t… but you were watching a primary school video on fractions, if I’m not so mistaken?” He sighed deeply, making a point of turning the paper with his scribbles over to obscure it.

“Nova’s homework.. she couldn’t do it and neither could I, so then she basically screamed at me for being thick and udseless and then had a breakdown.”

Now you felt guilty. This was a bit of a sore spot with Tom, he always for some reason felt inferior because of his academic ability. Which was stupid- mainly because he was the most clever and talented man you’d ever met. Just…. Just not at fraction.

“Oh T… you could’ve just left it for me to do with her, I don’t mind.”

“That’s not the point Y/n.” He snapped a little, shrugging your arms off him and spinning in the chair so he could face you. “She’s my daughter and I should be able to help her! It’s not like it’s that hard, it’s just I’m unbelievable thick.”

“Tom stop. Look - you can do this I assure you, it’s just been a long old time ‘kay? Your rusty and that’s only natural.”

“I really don’t think I could ev-“

“Can I teach you? It’s just the method and then I promise you’ll get it.”

It took a bit of persuasion but eventually Tom agreed, letting you pull the corner chair forward to beside his desk so you could demonstrate it to him. To be fair, he really could do it- just a bit of familiarising on the ‘stick-change-flip’ method. The way the lightbulb moment literally caused his face to light up; scurrying to do the question for himself, tongue sticking out in the process; then presenting it to you proudly - well it had you melting in your seat.

“See! That took all of 5 minutes and you got it.” You elbowed his side by leaning forward in the chair, which instead of letting go, Tom reached and caught, before pulling you up and round. You landed with you bum perched on the edge of the mahogany desk, Tom now stood up- his legs in-between your parted thighs - your feet hooking round the back of knees.

“It’s all down to my incredibly talented teacher.”

“No…. No I really don’t think it is” You mused with a soft voice, fingers instinctively going to the nape of his neck - twirling the little curls round your fingertips.

“Well even so… I think I could teach you a thing or two too.” Never one to mull on anything, Tom’s tone had immediately switched to something a lot more… mischievous.

“Not even going to ask about my day? Wheres the chat mr smooth?” He had to repress the grin at your smirk because as much as you infuriated the hell out of him - you also had this weird ability of making him feel so entranced and helpless. He relented with a sarcastic chime.

“Fine, how was your day love.”

“Good…. but I have a feeling you’re about to make it a whole lot better.”

That was all the signals he needed to lean forward, in doing so forcing you back until your back landed completely on the cool wood. His lips feathered yours, both hands pinned either side of your head.

“Oh darling… you have no idea.”

#tom holland #tomholland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #dad!tom #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #fluff #Tom Holland angst

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carpisuns · 3 years

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Hello!!!!

I love drawing and I always try to improve!! But I''ve been losing motivation lately because I try to draw stuff that might be pretty easy for other artists but I struggle with them A LOT.

I KNOW I shouldn't compare myself to others if it's gonna demotivate me but I just can't help it! I see other VERY talented people draw AMAZINGLY and feels so impossible to do and it makes me feel like I don't know how to draw at ALL

I also tried digital art but I don't get how people do it. Maybe it's because I don't have the best app? Most of the better digital art apps aren't free so I'm only limited to the free ones.

Plus I draw with my finger on my tablet.

And I installed a digital drawing app on my laptop but I suck at it. HOW DO PEOPLE DRAW ON A LAPTOP???

I just, need some motivation? And maybe some art tips?? I struggle THE MOST with fingers/hands and well drawing bodies. When I look at something and try to draw it exactly how it is I can do it! But drawing whatever I like (without it being a picture in front of me) is a HUGE challenge for me...

I'm really sorry to bother you... But you seem really nice so I felt like I could ask you that hehe

Have a great day!!

i totally feel you. im in the exact same boat! idk how other people perceive my skill level lol but i struggle A Lot! it takes me a lot of time and effort to get my art to a point that i feel okay about sharing it. even stuff that seems simple probably took me a while haha. and i know that feeling of looking at other really amazing artists and feeling kind of crushed that you can't be like them. it's really hard not to compare and get down on yourself. but since you're gonna be comparing anyway lol try to compare your work with your old work, to appreciate how far you've come! that helps me. i have some EXTREMELY cringey art still on my blog and you really don't have to go that far back in the tag to find it alskdfjaljsfd like stuff that im SUPER embarrassed about now but i can't bring myself to delete them bc it's kinda nice to be able to go back at say, "i was really proud of this drawing when i made it but wow, that is. Terrible. u know what u call that? ✨growth✨"

the truth is, there will always be people who are better than you at art, and that's ok! don't sweat it. art of various styles and skill levels can still be enjoyed. and you will only get better! my advice is to not put too much pressure on yourself. improvement will come naturally as you just keep drawing and try to have fun with it.

it's also helpful to keep in mind that you are not the only one who struggles or feels inadequate. i'd venture to say that most artists feel that way, even popular or highly skilled ones! recently an artist that i really admire and consider the biggest art goals told me that their finished drawings have many layers of sketches and corrections and experimentations underneath. art takes effort for everyone, even your art senpais! ofc, certain things will come easier as you get better, but good artists are always pushing for improvement and expanding their skills so you'll probably always feel a bit out of your comfort zone and it's good to try to develop a healthy mindset about growth/development now

hahaha i used to draw with my finger on my phone too before I got a drawing tablet. i prefer digital art because i totally abuse that undo button lol but it's fine if you prefer traditional art! i know some really amazing artists who do a lot of paper and pencil drawings—@tizzymcwizzy comes to mind!

Lol I also struggle with hands and bodies and I also have a super hard time drawing from my imagination! So I don’t 🤠 I use references for like every single thing I draw, and if you have to do that too, that’s ok! In fact, using refs is a good thing. Hopefully someday I won’t have to rely on them quite so heavily but using refs is always good practice! That’s how you learn what things look like and how to draw them lol.

Well as usual I am simply Rambling lol!! Hope at least something in that was helpful 😂 (can you see why I am not cut out for twitter 🙂 DHJSKS)

Best of luck, u got this! Be patient with yourself, keep drawing, and enjoy creating! You are awesome 😎👉👉

#anon #ask #art tips #drawing #are there big gaps bt the paras for everyone else too #idk what’s up with that lol #positivity

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serowotonin · 3 years

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˗ˏˋ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 ˎˊ˗

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 ` sakusa kiyoomi ` 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ` 1.2k ` 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 ` pure crack ` 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁 ` hcs `

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` umm idk what this is.. lowkey based off real events? midnight ramblings? yeah that kind of thing i guess... also big thank you to @kaguol for giving this a read (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) `

it was sports day at your school and most of the events were over and done with but the teachers didnt allow anyone to leave yet cuz,,,, reasons✨

which is why some of the students kinda just flocked to the gym to chill and maybe play around

that was until somebody suggested they host an unofficial, volleyball game

the net was still up nobody bothered to put it down so yeaahhh

rules of the game were simple: there were none, except keep the ball in the air and get it over the net…however you can

at first only a few ppl played… the “energetic” and “athletic” ones and it still seemed like a typical volleyball game

then more ppl started joining

and it slowly started getting more chaotic

it got to the point where the entire gym was the court

there were ppl running around chasing the ball, others just hitting it as hard as they can in practically any direction, then there were those who just stood there cuz everyone else was standing there so why not ??

now sakusa didn’t want to be there

he was tired because his class had signed him up for ALL the running events

why? well cuz he was tHe OnLy AtHLeCtiC PeRsOn in his class

utter bullshit btw

he plays volleyball hes not a runner

but still ended up winning tons of races just cuz… it was him💅✨ no explanation needed

n e wayss he was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a nice long shower

but ofc the students of itachiyama wouldn’t let him

some of them dragged him into the game early on

again, because he was aThLeTiC ~

but this time they actually got the sport right lolol

honestly he was lowkey annoyed at how un-volleyball the game started to become but continued playing it anyway

it was hilarious how the others tried to receive even his weakest, half-assed spikes

sakusa always made sure to aim his spikes directly at ppl’s arms tho

not out of consideration for their pride or anything no no

it was cuz whenever the ball touched the ground the ENTIRE gym groaned rlly loud and there’d be ppl going “NOOOOOOOO”

and that annoyed tf out of him so he was nice with his spikes

then there was you

you were outside with one of your friends when the whole volleyball thing started and only came to the gym cuz the rest of your friends were in there

so you walked in, scanned the crowd, immediately noticed your crush *cough*sakusa*cough* and then found your friends standing in a group on the other side of the gym

now here’s the thing

sakusa has a crush™️ on you too. took him a while to realize and accept it but he did and now he officially has a crush on you

he just hadn’t really gotten around to the idea of asking you out or anything

mainly cuz he just very recently realized his feelings aka last night he was thinking about all the events he had to do for sports day and he groaned cuz ppl made him do it but then he realized ppl wasn’t actually ppl it was just you

you were the one who smiled at him and said “why not sakkun,, it’d be fun” and like that he agreed. then he realized further he actually thought about you a lot. like earlier he was thinking about how’d you look tmr since u weren’t gonna be in normal school uniform and you’d have your hair all done. and then he realized he was looking forward to seeing you which led him to realize you were one of the few ppl he actually enjoyed being around. THEN he fucking finally realized “oh… i have a crush…. on y/n……. oh”

somewhat conflicted abt it for the entirety of the day,,, bois experiencing feels for u ofc its gonna take some time >.<

he didn’t get to talk to you all day though,,,,,, he was busy with his own events and you were elsewhere

either way,, when he saw you walking past in the gym he kind of lost focus

lost focus in that the ball was coming to him and he jumped to spike it but only had his eyes on you causing his aim to mess up and well,,

he hit his target

*your head*

and because he wasn’t focused, it wasn’t a “soft” spike like all the other ones hes been doing

it was a full-blown sakusa kiyoomi spike

that hit your face

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

sakusa just went: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

you saw stars,,,,,,,, and fell on ur bum

like a split second later, you heard a calm voice asking if you were ok. you muttered out a yeah and felt arms helping you up

one of them was your friend you were pretty sure, but the other one’s hands were too big to be any of your friends’

“let’s get you to the nurse,” the calm voice said again.

“mkay,, thats probably.. a smart choice.. yeah….” and, vision still blurry, you were guided to the nurse by your friend and someone whose identity you weren’t sure of yet

sakusa was still standing there

all that, the spike hitting you, you falling, your being escorted to the clinic,,,,, that happened in like 2 seconds

he didn’t even have time to say anything yet

to make matters worse, some random ass guy was the one who came and swept you out of the gym

sure your friend was with you but to sakusa,,, that guy sus af

after they left, the game continued and sakusa rlly didn’t feel like playing anymore

he wanted to make sure you were okay and wanted to apologize

however,,,, the teachers came in shortly after and told them it was time for the closing ceremony

throughout the entire thing, his eyes flit through the crowds looking for you

he couldn’t find you tho>:((

big sad

after the ceremony was over,, he went to the clinic but you weren’t there

then he just kinda,,, /slump/

figured he’d just pull you aside tmr and apologize then

except,,, tmr came and he still hadnt found a good time to pull you aside for a proper apology??

you were just so… busy.?

finally,, at around lunch after you finished eating, you kinda just sat with your friends and were talking and stuff when sakusa decided now would be an appropriate time to apologize

he walked up to you and asked if you two could talk in private for a bit

your friends shot glances at each other. he saw,, but he didnt let it bother him

anyways,, he led you out into the hall and in the softest tone he could manage he says, “about yesterday… i’m really sorry, spiked the ball a bit too hard.. how are you feeling?”

you tell him ur fine,, just that it aches a bit but nothing serious

he nods and mutters another ‘sorry..’

then this happened:

“no it’s ok you don’t have to be so sorry. accidents happen.”

“it wasn’t an accident tho..? so im sorry, it wont happen again.”

“yeah ok,, wAIT WHAT?? wdym not an accident?!?? u spiked the ball into my face on purpose?!?!!?!?”

“WHAT NO- ofc not. i just,,, i kind of lost focus… on other things… at the time… and yeah”

“????”

*sighs* “i was focused on you when you walked past and didn’t consciously control my aim or whatever and ended up spiking it into your face”

“?!?!?!??…. why were you focused on me??”

“cuz i like you dummy” /it slipped he didnt mean to say this/

“oh.... wAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

and that is the story of how sakusa confessed

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` honestly think it would be better as a fic but uh,,, my lazy ass cant be bothered to write fics rn so uh,, hope this was good for now? lol might mess around and write one later tho.. maybe `

#sakusa x reader #hq #www.pink-ink.com/writing #/hcs

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uwujaes · 5 years

Text

ceo! jaehyun

prompt: ceo jaehyun who is soft for reader

genre: fluff

yall met as boss and employee (jaehyun's the boss if this isn't clear yet)

ok but HOW yall met was pretty........ eventful

basically your department plays rock paper scissors to decide who buys coffee for the day

so after ordering drinks at the cafe downstairs, you were waiting to collect them

when you saw 12 drinks getting packed, you walked to the counter to collect them

but at the same time, this really tall dude in a suit walked over at the same time asdfghjkl

both of yall took the same bag of drinks and looked at each other sHockEd

"these are my drinks"

"no these are mine, i ordered them first"

soOoOoO yall had this 5 minute debate over who these drinks belonged to

but then the barista realised they forgot one of ur orders bc yall ordered the exact same thing

so technically the drinks belonged to both of yall and well embarrassment sets in bc ur 5 min debate with him is now irrelevant lololol

u swear both of u blushed big time but aljdhdhfksk wtv moving on

both of y'all get ur drinks and part ways

back in the office, u gave out the drinks

ur colleague who set next to you asked why u took so long

"ugh it's a long story skjddhdbhd basically i fought with someone over these drinks but it turned out that it wasnt our fault bc the barista forgot one of our orders"

just then, someone walked in to greet everyone

everyone in ur department and stood

u didn't know what was going on but u followed suit

BUTBUTBUT u looked at the person who just walked in and—

"good morning everyone! i bought coffee for u bc i wanted to thank everyone for ur hard work"

u whispered to colleague "who is this?"

ur colleague looked at u "bRoo r u serious that's our ceo, jung jaehyun"

right then ur manager said "y/n (as he said that he pointed to u) has already gotten us coffee but thank you for the coffee, guess we are ready for ot today!"

jaehyun looked at u and u swore he smiled a little

after that he just left to go back to his office

at night, everyone in ur department left for home already or maybe the club bc it's a friday and the night is young

everyone but u

u had lots of work to do bc u joined the company recently and had to juggle learning the ropes here and actual work

u were finishing up and looked at the time

it was literally almost 12am

"are u not going home tonight?"

u turned to look at who asked that and when u realised who it was, u instinctively stood up to greet the person

"i-im leaving s-soon"

jaehyun laughed a bit and said "why are u stuttering? is it bc u realised im ur boss?"

and then u realised yeah right why were u stuttering? besides it's after work hours now so technically he isn't ur boss anymore

"im just, idk i guess? i mean ur my boss im ur employee and how we met earlier wasn't exactly the best situation for me to meet my boss for the first time"

jaehyun walked towards u and sat on ur table

"but im not ur boss now it's been 5 hours since work times ended"

"yeah.."

"also im.. sorry about earlier. even though it was none of our fault but u know? i didnt know what to say when i realised it wasnt our fault"

wow what a gentleman Hhsbxhdjjd

"me too im sorry about earlier, it was awkward right?"

the silence was deafening, both of u didn't know what to say

right before u were gonna ask why was he still in the office, he asked

"truth is.. i waited till u got off work and was intending to take u to dinner as an apology for what happened in the morning"

"oh... sure i havent had dinner yet anyways"

throughout dinner yall talked and oddly it wasnt awkward at all???

in fact yall enjoyed urselves so much that u didnt realise that it was alr 4am

u were tired but u didnt want the night to end; u didnt want to stop talking to ur new found friend

when jaehyun realised u were almost on the verge of sleeping face on the table, he said

"y/n i think that u shld go home now, it's 4am. come on ill drive u back"

that late night dinner was just the first of the many late night dinners u had with jaehyun

fast forward 1 year

u are wayyy closer to jaehyun than u were 1 year ago

in the office, u respected that he was ur boss and knew ur place

but outside of work, u saw him as a friend who would listen to ur complains of the crowdedness of the morning bus to work, how the barista messed up ur order and just things u would tell ur best friends

likewise for jaehyun, he did not show any sense of biasness for u in the office

and outside of work, he showed his child-like side and sometimes complained about the problems he was facing at work

one day, he was over at ur house (again) probably sleeping over bc he complains that his house is TOO FAR

when yall were eating dinner, he suddenly asked a question/topic yall hv (surprisingly) never talked about before

"do u hv a boyfriend?"

"no why?"

"was just wondering.. but why?"

"too busy yaknow? and idk where to find guys i literally hv no guy friends. well i mean except u"

u notice that jaehyun's ears started to get really red but u brush that off bc it was hot

"y/n, u know... ur like my best friend right?"

"yup and ur mine too why? did u need confirmation on that HAHAHAHA"

"i love u"

nothing big or complicating, just a simple 'i love u'

"i love u in THAT way, y/n. i really do and its driving me insane"

ngl u were shocked but

u thought of all the times he:

waited for u till ur done with work to make sure that u do not skip ur meals

listened to ur drunk-talk and constant rambles about life

took care of u when u were drunk

the countless times he encouraged and reaffirmed u when u felt like u were the ugliest person on earth

most of all, u remembered how he never fails to put a smile on ur face whenever ur with him

then, u realised it was really that simple too — u were in love with jaehyun the way he was with u

"it's ok if u dont feel the same way. it's just that... all the times u compare urself to other girls and how u say ur uglier, fatter, worse than them... it hurts me when u say that.. just wanted to let u know that ur very attractive in my eyes and it's a pity for whoever misses that"

he gave his dimply smile to mask all signs of anxiety but u could see through it all

u walked over to his side of the table

and gave him!!!! a big bear hug!!!!!!!!!

"i love u in that way too silly"

when yall pulled away, he planted a kiss on ur forehead

"so tonight's our day 1 right?"

#nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct 2018 #nct fluff #nct soft #nct imagines #nct scenarios #jaehyun #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun soft #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios

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kinkymagnus · 4 years

Note

Henlo!! I love your blog so much 😍 it gives me life and makes me happy when I have a bad day. I was wondering if you had any headcanons about Malec’s first time or something where Magnus is a nervous wreck cause he has to tell Alec that he’s trans? Thank you and sorry for the bother 😭♥️

y’all it is a CRIME how long this has been in my inbox, im really sorry and ur not bothering me at ALL i just love this ask and wanted to do it JUSTICE 👏

also im!!! so flattered!!! aaaaaAAAA im glad my blog can cheer u up :)

okokok so trans magnus + malec’s first time + magnus being nervous about coming out lghkjgfh

ok i have no fucking idea why but i’m making this twi malec. i’m just. in the mood for twi malec i guess. fuck it amiright

magnus is just. he has a lot of secrets. there’s a reason he hasn’t gotten close to anyone in a long time, there’s a reason he only talks to two or three people who actually know him, there’s a reason he hasn’t been how he used to be--out and about, flashy and showing off and wearing armor made of glittering beauty and colorful silks and bold makeup, instead of comfortable cardigans and twitching hands and quiet.

speaking of which: def headcanon twi magnus wasn’t always the way he is in that episode. he was a lot like canon magnus once upon a time, charismatic (well, he’s still charismatic, but like, in that bold flashy way, you know?) and open (closed off, but with the illusion of having all his cards on the table) and bold

anyway. there’s a reason. lots of reasons. mostly all the secrets he hides.

the fact that he has magic, that he’s immortal, a dusty relic of a time long gone, of an age past, clinging on past his due date. he feels like he doesn’t belong in the modern world, like he should have died with the shadow world, like he should have been sealed out with all the other demons.

the fact that he is a prince king of hell, son and slayer of the greater demon asmodeous himself. even tho he’s sealed it all away, he has a huge amount of power, both from just. originally being the son of such a powerful demon, a fallen angel, and also from managing to kill one.

i don’t think it fits with canon twi lore but i don’t care, i’m saying twi magnus was involved in the sealing of the realm, and he managed to kill asmodeous and basically absorb his power, so a) he actually did this huge incredible feat that changed the whole world, whether on purpose or not i’m not sure yet (it has something to do with asmodeous, but i’m not seeing the whole picture yet) and b) he’s actually. more powerful than canon magnus. it’s partially why he sealed away his magic for so long, he was afraid of what that power could do.

honestly i dont have this super well thought out but i like the potential

but anyway! barely related to this! let’s get back on topic!

and. the fact that he’s trans. a decidedly more mundane secret, but still one he keeps close to his chest. he’s lived through a lot of eras with bad very transphobic times? like he’s lived through places/times with very accepting atmopshere, but he’s also lived in like, victorian england, you know? and canon magnus had a chance to be more out of his shell and open in the modern world but this magnus has completely closed himself off. he mostly talks to people other than his close friends to give them a tarot reading. he’s not like, totally cut off, i can’t imagine him like. not helping people. you know. idek. but the point is he’s more isolated. canon magnus was closed off in a lot of ways, but still surrounded by people. he had a job to do, people to protect, and parties to attend. not to mention going to pandemonium and stuff. twi magnus isn’t really doing that. man i really went on a tangent here but the point is i feel like that would contribute to how he feels about being trans. feeling isolated, having less friends to be open with and to help him you know? in my experience it’s a lot harder to feel like. valid? without that sense of community. even with a few close friends, it’s hard. if you’re “passing”, which magnus is, it feels like a secret.

the point is! i am getting so off track! magnus has got layers and layers and layers protecting him, both literal and metaphorical (he doesn’t wear the more flashy and revealing clothing canon magnus occasionally favors, preferring thick and comfortable sweaters and cardigans and stuff like that. bonus headcanon: whatever happened that ended in asmodeous dead and the walls of the world sealed, it left magnus with more scars. not to mention top surgery scars he may have, or even just hiding a binder, or using thick layers to disguise small tiddies since binders are great but you can’t bind all the time or every day for centuries and still be like, healthy. anYWAY)

and when he starts dating alec despite that little cautious voice in his head insisting he needs to not get attached, alec begins to just. effortlessly peel those layers away

he’s so blunt and honest, unlike people who have lied to and manipulated magnus in the past (CAMILLE, anyone? i feel like she’d still be a thing in the twiverse. also asmodeous, albeit in a different way) and he’s gentle and loud and bold and he’s funny and sweet and he just. fucking cares about magnus.

when he finds about magnus’s magic he’s like “oh my god that’s so cool” he just fucking accepts him so easily!!!

and even when magnus ends up tearfully confessing he may or may not be a literal king of hell (or, one of the hell dimensions) alec’s like “damn, i’m dating royalty?” and maybe makes a joke about not everyone getting to make a king scream with pleasure and magnus is just so relieved???

but that’s later

anyway

they haven’t had sex yet and magnus is just like. he feels like inevitably this relationship is gonna fall apart. he has too many secrets, too many hidden parts of himself that if he ever shed light on, alec wouldn’t see him the same way

and as much as he wants alec to fuck him, as much as he wants to be in bed with alec and cuddle with him and have sex with him and show him everything, he feels like he can’t, it would be the beginning of the end

he keeps pulling back just as alec begins to initiate, and alec never pushes but wonders if he’s doing something wrong, or if maybe magnus is asexual, or just doesn’t want to have sex for other reasons, and eventually he broaches the topic with magnus and magnus is so surprised alec noticed something is wrong (he expected alec might confront him over not “putting out” but alec doesn’t seem to care about the sex--he makes sure to emphasize while he is attracted to magnus and would lvoe to have sex with him if that’s what magnus wants, it’s by no means a requirement--but more about. magnus. and communicating with him.) that he just blurts out i’m trans.

and alec kinda blinks at him. his beautiful, wonderful, nervous and scared boyfriend. and he ends up blurting out oh thank god. because he would be more than okay with magnus not wanting to have sex--he’s super gorgeous and absolutely smoking hot, but alec doesn’t ever like, want to have sex with him unless magnus wants to. obviously. but he was honestly worried it wasn’t magnus but him, that he’d done something wrong or wasn’t attractive or something, and honestly worrying about something being wrong with him was not a feeling he was used to. then he realizes how bad that just sounded, and he’s like, aaaaaaaAAAA WAIT and ends up panickedly rambling like i mean sorry i just was kind of worried i was doing something wrong but like, i love you so much and you being trans changes nothing about that, and if you never want to have sex that’s totally okay and i love you, but if you’re worried about me still being attracted to you that’s not a problem, but-- and magnus is like y-you’re not?? but you’re gay! and i’m-- and you know that feeling of like. internalized [insert form of bigotry towards yourself, in this case transphobia]. where you think something bad about yourself. and if you think about it you’re like “no that’s transphobic i would never think that about anyone else” and your brain is just like “yeah it’s true about you tho” that’s this. magnus is like. i’m not a real man, how could you be attracted to me? and alec (not to be all Cis Savior, but look, magnus deserves a loving supportive boyfriend who comforts him and shit, okay! i am PROJECTING) is like yeah i’m gay and you’re a gorgeous, beautiful, stunning man?

and they end up talking it out and get it sorted that yes, magnus does want to have sex, but it would be okay if one of them didn’t want to, magnus being trans does not make alec unattracted to him, it’s okay, they’re okay, because malec are Kings of Communication,

ANYWAY

ACTUAL FIRST TIME

probably not the same day, that day they cuddle and talk

but like later

>:)

alec is just so gentle and reverent y’all. like. them big hands on magnus’s body, all warm and gentle and magnus is like oh fuck this is nice

they do have to kind of communicate boundaries--alec’s asks if there’s anywhere magnus doesn’t want to be touched because dysphoria (or any other reason) and vice versa, magnus trying to be like “you know if you only want to fuck my ass or have me wear a strap-on or anything like that it’s fine, i understand you’re not necessarily attracted to those parts of me” and alec’s like “we’ve established that you would enjoy me eating you out and i WANT TO EAT YOU OUT”

their first time probably is pretty simple, “vanilla”, idk why but im thinking they just exchange oral sex tbh like magnus blows him and then alec eats him out

also magnus cums pretty fast bc he hasn’t been touched like this in a long time and he’s very embarrassed about it but alec is like “damn that’s hot can i try to make you cum a few more times”

ok but imagine their first time it’s just alec holding him down and eating him out until he sobs and squirts? yes

anyway tho they have like, lots of “other” first times too like. first time alec fucks his pussy. first time alec fucks his ass. etc.

first time alec slides that Thick Dick balls deep into magnus’s cunt he’s for sure immediately on the edge of orgasming he’s so full and it feels so good--

and alec’s like holy SHIT bc he’s warm and wet and tight and he clenches every time alec praises him or dirty talks him and it feels amazing

first time alec fucks his ass is also very fun for both of them ;)

it’s just a good time all around folks communication and magnus getting pounded the way he deserves :’)

not to mention when they first start getting into kinks

alec, carefully broaching the topic of bondage: how would you feel... about handcuffs?

magnus, barely looking up: mm, padded or not? and what kind of padding? the normal kind hurt my wrists after too long and not really in a nice way, so i like padded. furry can get a little itchy sometimes but they look real nice. also, are we talking above my head to the bedpost, and if so, am i on my stomach or back? because stomach is a little uncomfortable. or like, behind my back? especially bent over, mm. good view for you ;)

then he like looks up and realized he’s said all of this very casually and alec’s looking at him with 1. shock and 2. lust

like. “i wasn’t expecting this, but i really should have, and now i want to bend you over and tie you up and fuck you hard”

and he blushes just a lil bit like o shit i just said all that and alec’s like “padded it is. behind your back or above your head... hm... both have potential, but maybe the latter? i love you on your back under me, i can see so much of your beautiful body and all of your gorgeous face :)”

and like TOYS

aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAA ANYWAY

#trans magnus smut #twi malec #twi

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tomhsparker · 7 years

Text

missing you - tom holland imagine #4

about : Tom is away at SDCC while promoting Spider-Man Homecoming. Things start to go downhill as a Facetime call ensues and jealousy arises.

Warnings : a teeny bit sad. drunk tom!

The ID caller showed up on your phone and you grinned, flopping down onto the bed as you answered the call. Tom’s smiling face filled your screen and you giggled, greeting him with a simple ‘hello Thomas’.

“Y/N! It’s crazy here!” Tom shouted, “I’ve never seen anything like this before! There were thousands of people on the panel it was insane!”

“Are you having fun?” You asked, a small yet tired simper reaches your lips.

“Loads! Everyone’s amazing! Laura is here, Jacob is here, Tony is here, oh and Zendaya is here too!” He continued to ramble on about how everyone had secretly arrived to the convention but your heart sank at her name.

Tom was an extremely sweet person, and he was definitely good-looking. Your biggest fear from letting him leave to Atlanta was him finding someone new. What if he found someone else prettier, smarter and better than you? Maybe he was already tired of you.

And it didn’t help that Zendaya was a part of your worry. She was the kind of girl you’d always want to be. She was gorgeous and successful, not to mention extremely talented. You let your insecurity get the best of you sometimes and you would always feel a bit glum whenever you saw them together. However, Tom wasn’t aware that you felt that way.

“Isn’t Zendaya pretty?” you piped up randomly, playing with the hem of your sweatpants.

“Yes, she is. Why?” Tom sounded confused. He looked at something behind the camera and he laughed, slapping his chest.

“Oh, that’s amazing, Z,” he chuckled before looking back at you on the phone, “sorry babe, were you saying something?”

You were about to say something before he interrupted you, laughing again and talking to someone you could only assume was Zendaya. You could hear her laughter too and you flinched, feeling annoyed. Anger and jealousy was already bubbling inside of you. Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at how he was so oblivious to you on the phone as he dropped his phone to his side so all you could see was his pants.

This was the first time in days he had facetimed you, and you felt so put off by how he wasn’t even paying attention to you.

Pissed off, you pressed the end call button hardly, ending the facetime. You put your phone beside you and picked up your laptop, trying to calm yourself down.

It seemed like the world wanted to rub everything in your face when you clicked on a random song on your spotify. Everything I’m Not by The Veronicas came on and you gasped, throwing up your arms in anger.

“Oh, come on!” You yelled at no one in particular.

The song blasted on your speakers and you sighed, letting it play.

Your phone beeped once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Tom’s face popped up on the screen, indicating a call coming in from him.

You ignored it, letting the ringtone play amongst the loud tunes of The Veronicas.

It stopped for a few seconds before ringing again. This time you decided to decline the call.

A text came in. You peeked.

Tom x : babe, what’s up? u just hung up?

10. 50 pm

Tom x : y/n? Im gonna call u again.

10. 52 pm

Tom x : why did u decline the call?

10. 58 pm

Tom x : did i do something wrong?

11. 05 pm

You snorted, picking up your phone and typing a quick reply.

Me : idk ask zendaya lmao

Me : im gonna sleep. Have fun at comic con.

Just as you were about to put away your phone, it vibrated.

Tom x : I think I know what’s going on. Are you jealous of Z?

11.08 pm

Tom x : I hope you know I love you, and that I will never eye another girl that’s not you. I understand how you feel, I get sad whenever I think of all the other boys that are with you everyday. So i dont blame you. But you can trust me love. I promise.

11.09 pm

Tom x : z and i are just friends, nothing more babe. Im way too in love with you. Also im sorry if ive been distant. I miss you so much and i havent been able to really talk to you. Ive been very busy with work and everything else i just idk i feel really guilty now.

11.11 pm

Tom x : call me back when u wanna talk. Im sorry, i love you. Xx

11.13 pm

You sighed, giving in. You could tell he was feeling really crappy about it as you watched a livestream of the convention. Marvel was holding a livestream for the interviews and you saw Tom pop up in the screen when you opened the website.

His eyes were downcast even though he had a small smile on his face. Tom was less energetic and gave the interviewer half-assed answers. He kept crossing and uncrossing his arms and he fidgeted a lot on his feet.

His iPhone was gripped tightly in his hand, and every few seconds he went to check it.

Probably for my reply, you thought.

When the interviewer ended, you saw him walk away from the camera. The interviewer was about to interview Lupita Nyong’o next when another text from Tom came in.

Tom x : love i really am sorry. maybe u went to sleep already. Im sorry. I love you. Goodnight. Xx

11.25 pm

“Meh screw it,” you mumbled, pressing the call icon on his contact name.

He picked it up immediately after the third ring.

“Hello?” he said quickly.

“It’s okay,” you sighed, slumping on the bed, “sorry, I just got jealous. I shouldn’t have hung up on you like that.

“It’s just..I miss you so much Tom. And we haven’t facetimed in so long and.. I don’t know I was pretty pissed off by how you weren’t paying attention to me.”

“I know, I know,” you could hear his guilt from across the line, “I’m really sorry. There’s just been a lot going on right now.”

You sighed, “okay, now go and have fun. We can talk more later. I’m not mad at you anymore so don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive, I’ll be fine,” You lied through your teeth, even mustering a fake smile.

Tom hummed, before speaking again, “I’ll call you when you wake up. I love you so much, Y/N. Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight,” you mumbled back as you hit the ‘end call’.

Grabbing a pillow from the top of the bed, you clutched it tightly into your chest as sobs began to rack through your body. The tears didn’t stop flowing, even after half an hour.

You’d think he would notice that you really weren’t okay.

You missed him so much.

And it already felt like, to you, he was slowly drifting away.

The next morning was horrendous. You woke up to the feel of your soggy pillow and puffy eyes. Rubbing your face, you snuggled further into your duvet.

There was no way you were going out today. Your heart felt the heaviest it had felt in a long time and nothing seemed to motivate you to get out of bed.

You missed him too much.

Making calls to everyone, you apologised for not feeling well and rescheduled everything.

Nothing mattered more than the ache in your heart. If your mind wasn’t in the game, there would be no point in getting into the game in the first place.

You decided to check your notifications and was surprised by the amount of texts Tom had sent in.

Tom x : Good morning, babe. I hope you slept well. I’m out here in San Diego, in some bar. Missing you. 💛

7.30 am

Tom x : I hope you’re not angry anymore. It’s been bothering me the whole day. I’m still sorry.

7.45 am

Tom x : baEb i lpve you si much…….im sorry yoi think i luv zebdaya….i dont… i love you im sorry

8.30 am

Tom x : jacOb says in Drunk! Haha@ he keeps tellinf me that i should go homE

8.35 am

Tom x : i sAid wherE? LonDon? He saiD no You IdioT the Hotel

8.36 am

Tom x : i saiD it aInt HoME UNLESS y/n is wit me

8.38 am

Tom x : jeusu chrisy i lovw you

9.00 am

Tom x : i jusT PUKED I WISH YORE HERE Y/N YOU MAKe me FEEL BETTER

9.28 am

Tom x : I MISS YOUUUY

9.35 am

You stared at the screen, taking it all in.

Tom got drunk last night.

Yet, all his words seemed so sincere. Just before you could exit the chat, a new message came in.

Instead, this was from Harrison.

Haz O : hey y/n, i think you probably read the drunk texts tom has been sending. just want to tell you. tom has been drinking a lot for the past 2 hours. he’s upset, y/n. after he puked on the sidewalk, he cried. he cried about how much he missed you and how he didn’t deserve you. that you lie when you say you’re okay. he said that it would be easier if you both broke up. you could find someone better. so, stop being mad at tom. there's nothing going on between z and tom. If they did, i would've told you. he’s feeling so guilty for no reason.

You felt hot tears gathering at the side of your eyes. He was beating himself up because of your jealousy. Guilt took over you as you fumbled to type out a quick reply. A plan was already forming in your head and although it involved a lot of money, you knew it would help in fixing this problem.

It was probably too reckless and spontaneous, but you had enough of missing Tom and clearly, Tom was sick of missing you too.

You : I’m getting on the next flight to San Diego. Take care of Tom for me. x

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland one-shots #tom holland x reader #harrison osterfield #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

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howelljenkins · 3 years

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i was just....wondering....do u think this is ok abt gender as well? like i...feel fucking guilty for not letting a few friends of mine know abt being nb and this leads to some uh...dysphoria inducing comments on their end *its not their fault!!! ofc. they don't know* but.....i- idk man. i'm pretty conflicted. any advice?

disclaimer: i’m not an expert or a scholar i am just a 20 year old with a lot of opinions 😭

for your specific situation i think this also applies. from what you describe it sounds like the guilt stems from feeling obligated to come out. two options: come out or do the internal work u need to come to terms with the fact that no one is owed your identity (and that’s not a big deal either! they’re also not owed information on your bowel movements but you don’t feel guilty about that bc it’s fine and they don’t need to know!). for the comments, if theyre general comments u can still correct and educate even if they don’t necessarily know youre non-binary. as simple as “oh actually guys i heard you shouldn’t say that bc xyz” or “wait that reminds me of something i read the other day! did you know that’s actually offensive/incorrect/a myth?“ etc. if the dysphoria stems from their actions towards you specifically you can set boundaries without a full blown explanation. for example, i have a friend who tends to be rowdy when she laughs. when i told her i wasn’t comfortable w being hit playfully, she made an effort to remember that and apply it to her actions, no questions asked. in terms of sharing ur gender identity i started rambling so i’m putting it under the cut and i’m sorry if it’s scatter brained i’m rly just thinking out loud and still in the process of crystallizing my own opinion

tl;dr of the cut: keep in mind you can be as vague and broad as u want and there are very few people you owe full blown explanations to.

ok to preface another issue i have w coming out is ppl feel pressured to do it ASAP and trap themselves in a label and are less willing to fully explore and understand their identities bc they’ve already gone around and told everyone and no one wants to come out a second time, especially w less supportive ppl making comments like “i knew you’d change your mind/it’s a phase/etc”

someone who has come to full terms with their gender identity and in a position to “come out” should they want to. in my opinion, if they dont care to announce it and officially come out to friends and family w a full explanation, they can at that point figure out the absolute minimum information they’d need to share and go from there. for example, if i am non-binary, fine with going by she/her pronouns, and fine going by my given name, I don’t have to share anything at all. if i’m not comfortable with my name, i ask to be called by another. if i want to go by other pronouns, i can ask to be referred to by those pronouns and provide as much or little explanation as i want and think is appropriate in the situation (ex: if i ask a coworker to refer to me with they/them, that’s literally all i’m asking. they don’t need to know my business.) and so on depending on your comfort level

for those who choose to change their appearance and present themselves differently, it all depends on their environment. for most people you can literally just not tell them and if they ask you can say “personal reasons” and leave it at that unless you want to say more. same thing here with defining the bare minimum of information you want to share and tailoring it to fit your comfort level and your relationship to the person you’re talking to (like if u get top surgery and grow a beard and have a relationship w ur mom. the bare minimum thing doesn’t really apply and ur probably gonna have to sit down w her for a talk and a decent explanation)

so even if you show up to school one day in makeup and heels after 16 years of being perceived as a boy and tell people to call you samantha and refer to u with she/her pronouns they STILL aren’t owed a private explanation and you’re allowed to not answer their questions bc regardless of whether or not you share your full life story they’re still obligated to treat you with respect and respect your privacy (socially but also in most cases. legally.) for the ppl who choose not to respect you, i doubt overstepping your comfort levels to share the nitty gritty details of your story would’ve changed anything other than leaving you feeling exposed.

i forgot where i was going with this but. yeah. i’m thinking about it since it can vary so widely on such an individual basis so im trying to make my answer something malleable and theory based that you can use to form your own answer for your specific situation rather than me telling u what i think you should do

#answered #anonymous #lgbt

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