#i've been meaning to make one for a while but i was going to wait until the end of the season

[glorious-spoon]

a miserable pile of secrets [9-1-1 | Eddie Diaz & Hen Wilson | 1/1]

1.8K words | friendship | emotional hurt/comfort | implied/referenced cheating

a miserable pile of secrets [on AO3]

She finds Eddie up on the rooftop, which makes sense, given that Buck is currently working out his feelings on the heavy bag after Bobby finally snapped at the two of them to get their acts together unless they wanted to be benched. Chim's down in the weight room with him, which means that Hen is up here in the warm night air to talk some sense into the other half of their codependent little unit, who is currently perched on one of the folding chairs that they usually leave up here. He's as still as a statue, tense like he's afraid of what his body might do if he lets it move.

"Hey," Hen says, and he gives a jerky little nod of acknowledgement. "Mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead."

"Thanks." She pulls out one of the other chairs and sits down. "So."

"Bobby sent you."

"I sent myself," she corrects mildly, and watches Eddie's shoulders hunch a little. "I don't think I've ever seen you and Buck fight like that."

Though the truth is, she really only caught the tail end of it. Buck's frustrated voice rising on, "Do you hear yourself? How did you think this was going to work out? Have you even thought about Chris? What, you were just going to introduce him to her like—"

"Chris? Since when is how I parent my son any of your business?"

"I don't know, Eddie, you kind of made it my business when you put me in your fucking will!"

"Yeah, well, maybe that was a mistake!"

There was ringing silence in the wake of that. Then Buck said something quieter, inaudible from where Hen and Chim were standing frozen outside the locker room door, and Eddie spat, "Go to hell. I'm done talking about this."

The door slammed open and he stormed out, only pausing for a moment when he saw the two of them standing there. It wasn't until he'd already stomped up the stairs to the loft that Buck emerged, scowling.

"I don't want to talk about it," he snapped, before either of them could speak.

That was six hours ago. Neither of them has said a single word to each other since outside of the bare minimum on calls. The tension in the back of the truck has been thick enough to cut with a knife, and none of Chim's increasingly desperate jokes has done a damn thing to lighten the mood.

Hen doesn't blame Bobby for being fed up with the pair of them. She's caught somewhere between that and worry, herself. This isn't like them. Either of them.

Eddie shrugs again, tense. "I don't really feel like talking about it."

"Mm." 

Hen kicks her legs out, relaxes into the chair and waits him out. It doesn't take long. Maybe two minutes before he lets out an angry little huff and says, "Marisol dumped me this morning."

"Oh," Hen says. That explains some of the mood, anyway. "Well, I'm sorry to—"

"I cheated on her. She found out."

She closes her mouth. For a moment she just looks at him: his tight jaw, his hands in fists on his thighs, so tense he looks like he's about to snap. Like looking through a warped mirror to a younger version of herself, and maybe that's why she manages some gentleness when she says, "That doesn't sound like you."

"Yeah. That's what Buck said. Shows what he knows."

"Why'd you do it?"

"It doesn't matter. It was stupid. I fucked up."

"If you're waiting on me to tell you otherwise, you'll be waiting a while." Eddie lets out a sharp, bitter little bark of laughter, and Hen adds. "I've been there, you know."

"Yeah. But it's not—Karen forgave you."

"Eventually, yeah. She didn't have to."

"Yeah," Eddie says, and then doesn't say anything else. 

"Is that what you and Buck were fighting about?"

He shrugs again. Like talking to a damn teenager, Hen thinks. Not Denny, with his easy sweetness, but like one of the other kids who come through their home sometimes on temporary placements: already on the defensive, claws out, ready to fight. 

"I guess," he mutters finally.

"You put him in your will?" Eddie scowls at her, and she shrugs. "Hey, if you want it to be a secret, maybe don't have your domestics at the top of your lungs in the locker room we all use."

He scoffs, clearly annoyed, but doesn't get up and storm off, so she's counting that as a win. Finally, he says, "Yeah. He's down as Chris's legal guardian if something happens to me. Since—uh, since I almost died in that well collapse a few years back."

Oh. Hen contemplates that for a moment, squares it up in her head with what she already knows about Eddie. It's not, she'll admit, completely out of left field. But still. "And you think maybe that was a mistake?"

Eddie groans, dropping his head back. "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it."

"Maybe you should tell Buck that."

"He's pissed at me."

"Seems mutual."

"Yeah," Eddie says, wry and still kind of irritated. But then he sighs. "You ever do something where you know the whole time you're doing it that it's going to blow up in your face, and somehow that still doesn't stop you?"

"Yep," Hen says, remembering a dark little motel room and the sharp cut of Eva's smile. A whole damn pile of fuck-ups, that relationship was, and she dragged it along with her to almost ruin the best thing in her life.

"I keep thinking I see Shannon. It's like she's just around the corner, like if I turn around fast enough, she'll be there, and I'll be able to go back and make it right. But I can't."

"No. You can't."

"It's been five fucking years."

"No timeline on grief."

"I went on a date with a woman just because she looked like her." Hen raises her eyebrows at him. He slouches lower in his seat. "A couple of dates. It—didn't end well."

"Mm. You mean because she turned out to be a whole damn person who wasn't Shannon, or because your girlfriend found out?"

"Both," Eddie mutters. "Believe me, I already heard it from Buck."

"Oh, I believe it."

"But he's—" Eddie snaps his mouth shut.

"Kind of a hypocrite on this particular subject?" Hen offers.

"That's not what I was going to say. He's with Tommy now. So."

"So?"

"Never mind. It doesn't matter."

Hen would dearly love to interrogate that line of thinking, but she keeps her mouth shut. For a little while, they don't speak. It's a transient kind of peace; their next call could come at any minute. But for now, the city's as quiet as it ever is, lit up and beautiful in the distance.

Eventually, Eddie shifts in his chair, straightens up like he's bracing for something, then says, abruptly, "Can I ask you a personal question?"

Hen raises her eyebrows. "Go ahead."

"Have you ever been with a guy?"

"Excuse me?"

"Forget it," he says quickly, hunching in on himself again. "I don't even know why I asked. You can tell me to go to hell."

She almost does tell him to go to hell. Has her mouth open and everything. But then she takes another good look at his face and lets the words dissipate. 

"No," she says finally. "Kissed a couple of boys in high school, but I pretty much always knew it wasn't for me."

"Oh." Eddie's mouth twists. He's still staring a hole in the concrete by his feet, and Hen wishes like hell that this was easier for him, that he could have stumbled into it with wide eyes and open arms without leaving a trail of wreckage in his wake. Buck managed it, but it's not like that for everyone. She knows that.

"Karen was engaged to a man, you know," she says, and she watches him still, watches him turn, finally, to look at her. 

"I didn't know that."

"It was a long time ago. College sweetheart. She called it off a week before the wedding. Broke his damn heart, from what I hear. Probably better in the long run, though, all things considered."

Eddie laughs at that, a raw, horrible little sound. "I was a bad husband to Shannon. I loved her so much, and I still could never—and I always thought that maybe, if we'd just had more time, maybe I could have gotten it right, and we could have been a family again, and it would have been okay."

"But she died."

"She asked me for a divorce."

"Oh." Hen takes a breath, lets it out. Careful, careful. "I didn't know that."

"Nobody knows that. I mean. Bobby does. But nobody else. Because she died two days later, so I never had to—to tell anyone. I never had to admit it. I could keep pretending. But it doesn't even matter, because I've also fucked up every relationship I've been in since. So it's kind of obvious where the problem is."

"Mm. You know what my mama used to say?"

Eddie cuts her a look. "What?"

"Get down from that cross, we need the wood."

When he laughs this time, it sounds a little more real. Hen nudges her knee against his, and for a minute they sit there together in silence.

"I fucked up," he says again, but it's calmer.

"Yep."

"What the hell do I say to Buck?"

Not Marisol, Hen notes. Though the truth is she's pretty sure that whole relationship was dead and gone long before whatever went down this morning. Maybe from the very beginning. Eddie's just got a bad habit of dragging those corpses around. "Sorry might be a good start."

"He's gonna ask why. I don't have a good answer. I can't—" He looks over at her, and all Hen can think is that he looks so damn young. "I can't."

"So tell him that. You know he's not gonna push it."

"Yeah, he will."

"He's worried about you."

Eddie scoffs. "Yeah."

That was, Hen surmises what the fight was about in the first place. Unstoppable force, immovable object. Sometimes she wishes she could just knock their stubborn heads together until they showed some sense.

"He loves you," she says, and Eddie flinches.

"I know that," he mutters.

Hen sighs. "Just talk to him. You don't have to tell him anything you're not ready to tell him, but just—talk to him. Okay? For all our sakes."

"Yeah, okay," Eddie says, sounding defeated. "Sorry about that."

"We'll survive," Hen says. She bumps her knee against his again, and they sit there together in silence, watching the city lights, until the bell starts going off below.

#911 #911 fic #eddie diaz #hen wilson #my fic

[somehow-a-human]

Moonlight Serenade & Good Omens &... Lost...?

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY.

First off: I am a certified former band kid. I've been playing the trumpet for 17 years. I did marching band in high school & college, I served pep band march madness basketball realness, I'm a bona fide concert hall bitch, and I considered becoming a professional musician.

Because of this, the music of good omens is something I have been ACTIVELY avoiding! The risks of hyperfixating and spiraling into it are HIGH!!! I spent so much of my life deeply entrenched in music, all genres, all time periods & It's hard not to have a proclivity toward it. But I also expect it to be a huge topic and a deep hole to inevitably fall into.

But could I hold out forever? no. and something finally pushed me over the edge. Wait for it..... Lost. Yep. The fucking TV show Lost. WAIT WAIT, don't leave! STAY WITH ME!

Why Lost? And what does it have to do with Moonlight Serenade and WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH GOOD OMENS?! Well my lovelies continue under the cut with me and keep an open mind...

Okay so... Lost. Yes, the insane 2004 mystery plane crash island adventure drama. It's a wild ride, and a masterpiece and a little bit crazy, but overall pretty damn good. I've been on a rewatch spree and wouldn't you know it... parallels between lost and Good Omens kept popping up in my brain!! I mean they are both detailed intricate mysteries so it makes a tad bit of sense but there was one little detail that *might* be a *clue* so I figured I'd make a post cause why not? I promise you don't need to know anything about Lost to follow this!!

First off, what are some of the recurring themes of Lost the TV show you might ask?

Life & Death

Timelines & Time Travel

Literary Allusions (Catch-22, The Bible, A Tale of Two Cities)

Prophecies & Premonitions

Symbolism of Black & White

Yeah okay, that tracks, but look there are 121 episodes of Lost and 12 episodes (so far) of Good Omens so there's bound to be some overlap for these two ineffable mysteries.

You'll be thinking about now, "BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MOONLIGHT SERENADE?!" I'm getting there, shhh, lemme pet your hair gently and keep giving you background information to build it up shhhh...

If you've never seen Lost there is a very good chance you're mighty confused at this moment, so let me reassure you, you don't need to know anything about it to understand the connections I'm going to make. A brief synopsis is: Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island. The plane crash survivors quickly discover the island is more than it seems to be and holds many secrets and mysteries. A lot of people die, most of them are murdered, it's giving Lord of the Flies. That's honestly all you need to know.

Time Travel & Alternate Timelines

Time travel is cannon in Lost. It's super confusing and I'm not even going to try to explain any of it here. It's honestly just not worth it. If you'd like to try and read about it, the abridged version is here, but I don't think the details are important. Just know it's real and confirmed and exists.

Okay so, In Lost season 2, episode 13 "The Long Con" two of the plane crash survivors are trying to find a signal on a radio they've found. While scrubbing they come across a signal playing Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller. One character mentions it must be from somewhere nearby, but the other counters that this type of radio can pick up signals from anywhere in the world. There is a beat and then another character jokingly adds "Or any time. Just kidding, dude."

It's later confirmed that the Lost characters in 2004 are indeed picking up a radio signal from 1940 that is playing Moonlight Serenade, a product of time travel.

Congratulations, you've made it to the point where I'm going to bring Good Omens into the mix. In season 2, episode 4 "The Hitchhiker" we open seeing Aziraphale driving back from Edinburgh late at night/early morning. Uncomfortable with the darkness and silence he asks the Bentley to "play something that's got a bit of swing? I'm in the mood for something modern."

The Bentley obliges the angel, as she always will, and we are shown a shot of the radio specifically lighting up, so we know she's tapped into the radio to play this for Azi.

But hold on. Aziraphale asked for "modern"? Moonlight Serenade is most certainly not modern. It was recorded in 1939! I'd say in 2023 it's anything but modern, maybe not in Aziraphale's long lived opinion, but certainly in the Bentley's opinion, given she's only a 97 year old car.

I think you can see now what I'm saying here. I think the Bentley picked up a radio signal from 1940, maybe 1941? Episode 4 is of course our 1941 blitz magic show bullet catch flashback extravaganza, so... it makes sense. I know we like to headcanon Crowley and Aziraphale listened to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square in the bookshop in 1941 after the bullet catch, but what if they heard Moonlight Serenade on the radio instead?

What does it mean?

I think it could be a *clue*. A reference to this small moment from Lost and a nod to the first hint of the canonization of time travel in that series. We know Crowley can control time to some extent and we can see some evidence of time discontinuities and possibly time weirdness in season 2 so is it a hint that timeline funkiness IS happening? Do I want to get into the fact that the main character in The Hitchhiker, the Twilight Zone episode this episode is named after, is actually dead? No I don't, not now anyway.

SO! There it is... weird little connection that I couldn't get out of my brain. It just seemed a bit too... ineffable.

As always this is all for fun and all for fans! Don't ask Neil about these things, they're for us to have fun with. And something else that I don't think some people on here understand about meta-analysis; the goal of it is not necessarily to be correct. It can be, if that's your thing. Refuting peoples posts, theories, analysis, and headcanons because you personally don't agree with them and telling them they're wrong and stupid doesn't achieve anything. Meta-analysis is an exercise in critical thinking and creative writing. You could write meta about how Spongebob is a critique of the loss of christian values in modern society and you wouldn't be right or wrong, you'd just certainly be a person who wrote that for sure though. Just, be kind to each other, share ideas, you're allowed to disagree with someone's ideas or have different ones of your own but don't be cruel in saying so, don't call someone stupid, that's just silly.

Love you all, do something kind for yourself today <3

ps. The moment I see Michael Sheen with blonde hair come January I'm gonna bark like a dog, that's all. Thanks.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziraphale #crowley #michael sheen #david tennant #crowley x aziraphale #good omens theories #good omens clues #ineffable mystery #ineffable husbands #ineffable idiots #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #ineffable fandom #good omens fandom #good omens speculation #good omens theory #good omens analysis #good omens parallels #moonlight serenade #glenn miller #lost #oceanic flight 815 #the twilight zone #the hitchhiker

[w2soneshots]

You’re to cute -W2S

Words: 1.0k+

Warnings: pregnancy, slight worrying.

In which Harry and the boys decide to cheer you up by planning a cute evening for you and the side girls.

a/n: I love this request, so cute🥹. Protective Harry🫶🏼. I hope you all enjoy!!🤍🧸🎀

Me and Harry have been together for almost five years now. We always knew we wanted kids so when I found out I was pregnant we were elated. It's been amazing so far. We had to wait almost 3 months to tell everyone, which was torture for Harry since he can't seem to keep his mouth shut. But once we could finally tell all of our family and friends it was amazing. I could rant to Faith about the good and bad things that come with being pregnant and Harry felt a huge weight off his shoulders.

This last six months I haven't been feeling the best. I had awful morning sickness at the beginning (which is how I knew to take a test), I'm tired all the time and the hormones have been wild. One minute I'm laughing the next I'm in tears then two minutes later I'm pissed off. But the first scan, listening to the babies heart beat, finding out we're having a little girl and feeling her kick make it one hundred percent worth it.

Today Harry had to leave for a sidemen shoot early so I woke up alone in our bed. I got up, make myself breakfast, took a quick shower then put on some comfy clothes and lay back down on the bed. I sighed as I turned the tv on, then I clicked on my favourite movie. I spent almost the entire day in bed and on the sofa which has been my daily routine for quite awhile now. I've been to lunch with Talia a few times, baby shopping with Faith and Harry always makes an effort when it comes to little dates, mini golf, bowling, stuff like that. But I've still been feeling a little bit left out.

When I finally heard the front door open I smiled. After he'd put his things away Harry pushed open the door to the bedroom. His face beamed when he locked eyes with me. "How are my girls?" He asked as he sat down on the bed, beside me. "We're good. How was your day?" I moved to rest my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me. "Um some of it didn't really go to plan but I think it'll make the video funnier," He replied. "Actually... me n the boys were talking and -only if you feel up to it- we were wondering if you wanted to come out for dinner and we could watch that new movie that just came out in the cinema?" He proposed.

I smiled (tho he couldn't see my face) "that would be lovely. But don't you hate movies?" "Well I don't hate them, they're just not really my thing. But if it means getting to spend time with you and my friends then I really don't mind." My heart melted at his words, then uncontrollably tears began to spill down my cheeks. I sniffled and Harry quickly brought my face up so he could look at me. "What's wrong? We don't have to go if you don't want to." He reassured kindly. "No Harry I'm fine and I really want to go, that was just really sweet." I wiped my face. He laughed lightly then pulled me into a hug.

After getting up I brushed my hair back into a ponytail then slipped on some shoes before grabbing my phone. "Ready?" Harry asked. "Yup! Let's go." I replied with a bright smile. Harry drove (for once) and we were soon outside the cinema. He held my hand as we walked into the building. I looked around and spotted Faith, Freya and Talia standing near the popcorn, along with their boyfriends and Tobi. We walked over to them and a look of pure excitement spread across Talia's face. "You look so cute! How are you?" She pulled me into a friendly hug. "Pretty good, you?" I replied sweetly. We waited a few minutes for JJ to arrive, when he did we scanned our tickets and made our way into the theatre.

The entire movie Harry's hand was intertwined with mine, while my other one sat comfortably on my little bump. "You two are so cute." Faith whispered into my ear. I looked at her and smiled. Once the credits started to play we all got up and grabbed our things. As we walked out we decided on Nando's for dinner, since there's one just a five minute walk from the cinema.

As we were walking down the pavement a pretty big group of fans surrounded us. I was quickly pushed away from Harry as I got trapped in a small sea of people. "Hey!" I heard JJ's voice call out "move!" My eyes scanned around and they met with Ethan's. He lunged forward, pushing the teenagers out of the way. Then he gently grabbed my arm and pulled me back towards Harry. Josh, JJ and Tobi told the fans to politely "get lost." While Harry fussed over if I was ok. "Are you sure? Is the baby ok?" I nodded as my heart rate slowed "I'm fine. They didn't know. It's ok." I reassured him. Since I'm not really in the public eye we decided not to tell the fans that I'm pregnant. We want to just keep it to ourselves for now, our little secret.

With Harry on one side and JJ on my other we walked the rest of the way to the restaurant. Once we got there we found a table and sat down. Then Josh and Simon went to the front counter to order. Our food came just ten minutes after we'd ordered. We chatted amongst ourselves and I talked to Faith about the crib me and Harry had just recently ordered, since it wouldn't come for quite a few weeks and we wanted to have everything finished as early as possible. Once everyone had finished we walked back to our cars, said goodbye and headed home.

"Thank you for tonight Harry." I murmured as I lay on his chest. "I'm glad you had fun it was nice to see you laughing." He replied. My eyes closed "you're so cute." I whispered. "Good night y/n. I love you." "love you too." My voice trailed off as I fell into a deep sleep.

#w2s #harry lewis #harry w2s #wrotoshaw #wroetoshaw #w2s x reader #w2s fic #w2s imagine #wroetoshaw x reader #wroetoshaw oneshot #harry lewis x reader #harry x reader #youtuber x reader #british youtubers #x fem!reader #x y/n #x you #x reader #fanfic #image #oneshot #dad!harry #sidemen #faith kelly #talia mar #zerkaa #miniminter #ksi #tobjizzle #behzinga

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

ASTROLOGY EDITION - THE SENSUAL APPEAL OF THE NAKSHATRAS

Hey, so I've been more focused on the nakshatras lately.. and love getting into how sensual, flirtatious, raw and powerful some of the nakshatras could be. I may start this off with just the nakshatras itself, focusing on the sign and its energy as opposed to the planets in each of these naks. So yeah. Lets get into it ;)

So first is up, Hasta. There the ones who really inspired me to do this so here we go.

Hasta - Delicate. Refined. Opened Hearts. Very sensual beings who know how to ease you into to their souls. They have a replenishing auras that could fulfill the desires of another. Oop, did I say that? They are indeed the temptress, the ones that will make you fall in love with, as they know you will never get anything from the in return. Having been hurt in the past, they usually carry themselves with a tight armor, only this time they know they wont have to... Because someone will always take the bait ;)

Hastas are truly amazing at crafting their hearts into the desires that they want. So much so, they'll utilize their sex appeal in order to get what they want. Very smart, coi and productive... Their like the jaguar you dont see coming. They always get what they want, because others are more than likely to give to the hastanian babe whenever they please.

Rohini - Ooooooh! They are sooo seductive. They have a quiet temper that is aroused when the right soul meets into their arms. They're only lovers for the plot. If it gets too deep and on the wrong foot then their outta here. Sorry busta!If you don't give it to them the right way, then they won't be here for long. They are only here for one purpose, and that is to fulfill their desires in more ways than one. Like their hasta friends, they know how to go for what they want, and they'll get it by any means necessary.

There temptress powers they carry can attract an audience if they let it. There touch can last for hours, penetrating into the skin like magic. They are the doorway to salvation. Pleasure is their profound language. It is a blessing and a curse to be this type of delight. A special occasion, they keep anyone anyway who is not deserving of their love.

Anuradha - I feel like this one deserves a round of applause ONLY because they do not share these gifts so easily. The people could want more but that isn't enough. Once they get a hold of your tempting magic people will definitely try and take you to the pits of hell. So its kept in a jar, locked away for a while until the anuradha babe is ready to go for the kill. When she wants it, she will. And when mama's hungry, shes gonna eat ;) Siren-like eyes that can penetrate into your soul. It can spook you ;) But all the Anuradha wants is to entice, it is how she gets what she desires. She has a flow that is naturally pulling like the Jyestha, we don't know what it is but its powerful, convincing, and its rare. The anuradha is the type to pull yu in, to the point that when she catches you in her spell.. she will eat you alive. Its better to stay away if you dont want to be bit, but her allure is just so damn powerful. It'll have you begging for more.

Krittikas - Their raw sexuality will pour into your skin, and before you know it.. they've already gotten you into their mini web. Darling.. the ones who where this nakshatra on their sleeves use every bit of their power to seduce the right one.. sometimes it catches others too. There striking presence keeps the others wondering where have they been all of their life. The one who moves to the beat of their own drum, tameless. It is why so many try to focus on wooing you in order to make you into what THEY want you to be.. and you beat em at their game every time. The seductive prowess they carry show a reflective force from the moon down to the sun, with its rays being so powerful it has everyone looking at them.. waiting to explore what is deep inside the krittika, only to be found later in their dungeon. Taking their souls, and never to be heard of again.

Shravana - They have a very powerful aura that pushes the narrative about themselves. They have the gift that keeps on giving. They know what to do with their seduction, its the one that gets them the highest bidder! What shapes you, is the power of the mind, the soul and the spirit. So they do themselves the diligence to create from within, and not without. They are hungry to learn more about their presence as their gifts connect to the souls of thousands.. What I mean is that these babes have a gift of opening up the godlike force that many try to emulate.. but many can't do. There seductive prowess inspires thousands to watch them as they watch to the shravana native, craving for their affection.. As they can be so very giving, but with a price. It all comes down to them wanting to be at the top, and they'll whatever they can to get it. It comes with a sense of ease, and they'll choose their favorite worshiper to teach ;)

Mula - HOT HOT HOT!!!!!! They don't even know how deep this goes.. but they penetrate into your skin with no effort. There gift is in spiking you with their mind, and leading you in with their heart.. They know how to entice you into doing for them and fitting to their needs.. You wont even blink an eye and yet wont even care. You'll just be glad to be in their presence is all. They have a special aura that most find pretty enchanting, and their souls spark a conversation one what makes them so unique.. because most people are mystified by them and begin to take notes.. but they will never know what that is to be exact. Which is what makes their seductive prowess just that damn good. It exists for them and them alone.. if they decide to share this with you consider yourself LUCKY.. Because they like you more than the rest, and who they are and how they carry themselves is a gift you when they want to share it.. Whew.. they'll really touch you in ways you won't forget.

I will post on the rest of them soon. Let me know in the comments how you feel about the nakshatras !!

#rohini #krittika #jytesha #astro vedic #vedic astrology #vedic astro notes #vedic astro observations #astrology sidereal #sidereal charts #sidereal astro #astro observations

[yuurei20]

Wait I just saw a conversation about Silver's admittance to the school and people were like "well of course Silver got a letter, he is malleus' guard so he had to go" but there isn't anything in the game that says Sebek and Silver were his guards BEFORE NRC, is there?

Hello hello!! Thank you for this question!

Maybe not! :>

We happen to have an example of someone from a prestigious family being permitted to enroll with a companion suited to their status: Idia and Ortho!

But Ortho was not an official student, having never received a letter of his own, whereas Silver and Sebek are, and did.

It is insinuated that Lilia and Malleus enrolled alone for their first year, which makes sense, as they are both third-year students now.

This means that Sebek and Silver were both left behind in Briar Valley for that first year, with Lilia as Malleus' only chaperone!

As Sebek and Silver were only 14 and 15 years old it seems somewhat unlikely that the crown prince of Briar Valley had been depending upon them for protection at the time.

But is it possible that Sebek and Silver followed later because Malleus needed more guards? I have not been able to find anything to confirm this!

Lilia explains, "There was a whole year where the three of us were all off at school while (Sebek) wasn't. A person has to have some magical ability to enroll at Night Raven College. But Sebek's magic manifested rather late. I've no doubt he questioned if he was a worthy enough mage to go here."

This sounds as though it was not guaranteed that Sebek was going to be invited to NRC at all, to be Malleus' guard or otherwise, and it seems the same would apply to Silver!

Malleus enrolled with one guard--Lilia--who also received an acceptance letter of his own, seemingly independent of his relationship to Malleus at the time (unless there are theory happenings going on 👀), which is why he is also a student and not in a special role like pre-6 Ortho.

I have not been able to find any information about Malleus' presence being a requirement of Sebek and Silver's enrollment at the school, or anything to insinuate that they were accepted for any reason besides their own merits ^^

Their roles as guards seem to be something that they were granted after enrollment (possibly for training purposes), rather than their enrollment being necessitated because they are Malleus' guards.

Sebek even says that there had been a chance that he was not going to be accepted into Diasomnia, so it seems that their pre-existing relationship to Malleus might not have been taken into account (as far as we know 👀).

#twstask #twisted wonderland

[nevesmose]

"Light, I've been wondering something. Who is your favourite Primarch?"

This is dangerous. Since he thinks I'm Kira there's no way he would expect me to choose anyone but Horus but if I overcompensate by naming someone like Vulkan it'll only make him more suspicious. Dammit, Ryuzaki! I can't let you beat me so easily. Based on his disturbing appearance and warped obsession with justice there's a reasonable chance that he's a Konrad Curze fan, which means there's certainly no way I can say Corax. Misa mains Sisters of Battle so she's useless to me yet again.

Heh heh heh. Gotta answer him soon Light, unless you want him to think you're some kind of socially inept turbo-autist. But there's no way people like that would ever be such big Battlemace fans that they'd spend time circlejerking about their space dudes during a murder investigation.

That's a good point, Ryuk. L's principles would never allow him to waste even a second of time pointlessly discussing Primarchs while Kira remains at large. Maybe he doesn't even like 40K at all and this is just a test. Kira would want to slow down the investigation any way he could, including by starting long-winded arguments about which Primarch is the best, so I should avoid the question and tell him we need to focus on the task at hand.

Wait a second! If he had cameras in my room then he must know about the 3000 points of Dark Angels I have in a box under my bed. And even a cursory online investigation would lead him to my posts on r/grimdank. So pretending I don't like 40K isn't an option.

Very clever, L. You almost had me from behind but now I am the one who's behind you. Since he knows I play Dark Angels I could say the Lion is my favourite, but... no, there's no way he would believe that. No one likes the Lion that much.

Dammit, who else is even left? I always forget some of them and I can't sneak away to look it up on Lexicanum. Mortarion? No, L knows I'm obsessively hygienic so he would instantly realise I was lying.

What if I suggest another homoerotic game of tennis or a foot massage? But there's no way he would let anything like that distract him, not from Primarch discourse. Come on, Light! You were looking at a tier list of Primarch GFs only last night!

I just have to go through my remaining options. Even if he is a Curze fan, it's too dangerous for me to say I like him too or he'll start lecturing me about morality and then accuse me of not understanding how he was really a scrungly ratboy who did nothing wrong.

If I choose any of the other Traitor Primarchs he'll take it as more evidence that I'm Kira. So that leaves the Loyalists. Sanguinius and the Khan are both too interesting and Dorn isn't interesting enough. I need to choose someone so average and middle-of-the-road that there's no possible way he could ever use it to show that I'm a despicable power-crazed mass murderer.

"Roboute Guilliman."

#the likelihood of him being Kira just increased by 13% #death note #wh40k #warhammer 40k #warhammer 40000 #horus heresy #primarchposting

[galvanizedfriend]

Klaroline WIP Wednesday

This is my humble contribution to this wip Weds! It's a tiny little snippert from the next chapter of Speed Dating, which has been sitting untouched for way too long. Genuinely hoping this might give me the will to keep going because I am this 🤏 close to the finish line (before editing starts and the finish line gets away from me again but shhhh, we're not going there yet).

--

She doesn't see Elijah again for the next two days. Whatever he's in town for, he either glides around the apartment like a ghost or their schedules are totally at odds. If not for the extravagantly fancy woolen overcoat by the door and what she has quickly learned is a very particular brand of moodiness for Klaus, she would've thought he'd already left.

It's probably for the best, considering the horror of that first meeting, but curiosity is an unscratchable itch. Elijah has intrigued her for years, more so than any of Klaus’ other siblings. Putting a face - well, a little more than a face, really - to the person is a given, but she can't help the desire to dig deeper. It’s in her nature to be nosy. About him, about Klaus, about the whole family. 

Despite the fact she's lived with one and been friends with another for years, the Mikaelsons remain a mystery to her. The more she knows, the more confusing it gets. Nothing about them seems to make much sense, and Caroline hasn't even decided if that's a super-rich, children of the 1% thing, or if the Mikaelsons are especially wacky even among their peers.

After two days, though, she's just about lost hope of bumping into Elijah again. She doubts he'll be staying for much longer, especially with Klaus' cordial show of hospitality. Not that Elijah seemed bothered - being rude to siblings for no apparent reason seems to be one of those things that are normal by Mikaelson standard. It's just how they operate.

She's just back from a shift at the hospital, idly scrolling through her Instagram while she waits for the microwave to deliver her sad leftover dinner. Bitterly, she realizes it has been months since she last updated her feed. Her last photo is with Tyler, for crying out loud. Should she even keep it there? What's the etiquette for when you break up with someone for no earth-shattering reasons, the relationship just fizzling out and running its course? Is it rude to delete all evidence of him from her social media records? Is it expected? Will he be upset? Has he deleted her from his social media? 

In fact, now that she thinks about it... Is Tyler even seeing anyone?

"Huh," she mumbles to herself, fully internalizing in that second how truly messy her life has become that she hasn't even cyber-stalked her ex to know what he's been up to since they broke up. That's a whole new level of rock bottom unlocked, right there.

"Miss Forbes?"

Caroline nearly drops her phone when she looks up to find Elijah standing by the kitchen door. She swears to God the man is unnaturally feline; she didn't even hear him approach.

Unlike in their first encounter, he's now fully clothed and, unsurprisingly, he looks just as good as he did without a stitch on. Maybe better. His suit looks as though it was sewn directly onto his body by an Italian master tailor. The range of that man.

"Hey!" She cringes at her high pitch, standing up straight. 

His smile is affable as he steps further into the kitchen. "Do I interrupt?"

"What? No. I was just scrolling."

Caroline feels suddenly very self-conscious of just how crazy frumpy she must look standing in front of Elijah. The man is a poster boy for wellness and prosperity, while she is... Well. Not.

Suffice to say she's wearing a Timberwolves t-shirt from her long-gone cheerleading days in high school with at least five visible holes on it.

"I've been meaning to apologize for that horrid incident the other day," he starts. Caroline wouldn’t have brought the incident up, assuming he would rather forget it ever happened, but if it causes him any measure of discomfort to have been butt naked in front of a complete stranger, he does not show, which - now that she thinks about, is something else that feels very Mikaelson-esque. They do all seem to be incredibly comfy in their own skins. "Niklaus warned me that you would be home soon, but my despair for a proper shower was stronger than caution. I should've been more careful."

"You don't have to apologize. It's fine. It was nothing." That would've been a good place to stop. A very mature and dignified let's leave it at that and never mention it again. But her stupid mouth just keeps going. "I see naked people all the time at the hospital. It's totally unremarkable." Elijah's eyebrows inch upwards into a mildly curious expression. "I don't mean that you are unremarkable!" she corrects, and then, getting immediately horrified at the implications, adds, "You're not - I mean, you're ok, you're - obviously. Not that I was looking, I wasn’t - I just mean - You know what? I'm just gonna shut up now." She snaps her lips sealed, half-wishing that a hole would open underneath her feet and suck her into the magma of the earth.

#klaroline #klaroline fanfiction #klaus x caroline #kc fanfiction #klaroline wip wednesday #yokan writes #or tries to #it's possible i'm having a lot of fun with Elijah in this chapter you guys

[theamityelf]

Wait. I just realized. In the Mini SDR2 AU, is Nagito there for everytime Makoto gears up to beat the shit out of Monokuma? Like his nice soft boy of an underclassman took a 180 in personality SO FAST it gave him whipwash!

At least I think it would be funny.

Also if he's more protective of Makoto would he try to warn Makoto about Kyoko lying to him or pointing out that she deliberately put him in danger with the closet stunt to see if the room was important to the mastermind (or something it's been a while since I've rewatched a let's play of it)?

MAKOTO'S TRIAL AND EXECUTION

Oh, yeah!

When Makoto tries to hit Monokuma, I'm imagining Nagito saying something like, "Whoa there! You're full of surprises, aren't you?" and laughing a little.

As far as being protective, I think initially he would mostly just say things like "You're very forgiving," and at most restate what just happened (like, "I see. So, she used you to see if the mastermind would defend the room.") to try to get a reaction from Makoto, who continues to kind of just roll with the punches.

When he foresees actual danger, he for some reason opts to encourage Makoto to take precautions rather than communicating that he foresees danger. For example, if he believed someone was planning to get Makoto alone to kill him (just an example) he would suggest, "Why don't you bring Asahina with you?" instead of telling him he thinks someone wants to kill him.

He doesn't trust Kyoko or Byakuya, but as his priorities shift from everyone's hope/potential to specifically Makoto surviving, his preference also shifts from Kyoko (who keeps proving herself again and again to excel in this game) to Byakuya (whose selfishness can at least be trusted to keep Makoto safe, once it's clear he cares about Makoto).

Makoto noticeably has a crush on both, and Nagito is very worried about him as a result. He keeps going back to them, no matter what they say and do. It isn't that Nagito doesn't see that Kyoko and Byakuya feel something for Makoto in return; he sees that they do. But just because they're endeared by him doesn't mean they pose no danger to him. It might mean the opposite.

Makoto's loyalty, his trust...Earlier in the game, Nagito would have been glad that his kouhai was willing to be a stepping stone, but now he's pretty stressed about it. I'd say the irony isn't lost on him, but honestly it probably is.

He prefers for Makoto to hang out with Hina or Taka. They both seem unlikely to harm him and capable of physically defending him, whereas for everyone else he isn't certain of at least one of those things. Makoto does hang out with them a lot. But he also hangs out with everyone else.

So, the trial and execution!

I'd say that Nagito would adamantly testify that he was with Makoto the whole time and he didn't kill anyone, but that makes things a little too easy, so I'm going to say that when Junko went to kill Makoto, she also took Nagito, chloroformed him, and left him in the middle of the hallway somewhere. So, when he wakes up, he has to take the time to make his way back to Makoto's room, at which point he can't get inside (because if the senpais can get under the doors, that's game changer), so he waits outside the door until Makoto comes out.

He doesn't let anyone see him, because he suspects someone is trying to frame Makoto for something, and he will not help them.

He's still going to insist that Makoto didn't kill Mukuro.

I'm going to say that when Makoto passes on calling out Kyoko's contradiction, Nagito actually tries to point it out himself, but Makoto speaks over him so he can't.

When Makoto is convicted of the murder he didn't commit, Nagito is angry. The mastermind is lying, the game is lying, the battle between hope and despair is reduced to meaningless nonsense, and the most hopeful person here is being sacrificed in its name. He wants to keep insisting that the verdict is wrong, but doing so wouldn't save Makoto. It would just mean that everyone else dies, too...which he's almost angry enough to want, but instead he just asks to be allowed to stay with Makoto in the execution.

Makoto shouldn't have to go through that alone. Nagito would be glad to go with him, and comfort him until the end.

But they don't let him do that.

Ibuki tries to comfort him while they watch Makoto near the block, but Nagito is stone-faced.

And when Makoto survives, all of the tension leaves Nagito's body at once, and he almost falls over.

And you know, I almost want to say that since Alter Ego hacked the system to save Makoto, it also hacked the pods in the basement so normal-sized Nagito wakes up and he can rush to the garbage room and save Makoto himself, because I think that would be really dramatic and fun.

#danganronpa #mini senpais au #makoto naegi #nagito komaeda #kyoko kirigiri #byakuya togami #aoi asahina #kiyotaka ishimaru #naegamigiri #tonaegiri #komaegi #naegami

[fuckingguide]

They ain’t even looking at you, baby, they looking at me | Guillermo de la Cruz + Looking At Me by Sabrina Carpenter

#what we do in the shadows #wwdits #guillermo de la cruz #wwdits spoilers #the return of my fancam-style guillermo vids!! #i've been meaning to make one for a while but i was going to wait until the end of the season #and then that night market fight scene happened and it couldn't wait any longer #i am over the moon about the fact that thanks to s4 i can now afford to be selective about what shots to use in this kind of edit #when it was just the first three seasons there were barely enough shots. i pretty much had to use all of them to make a video #but now... now the world is my oyster #song choice in this video is dedicated to the fact that whenever anything happens in this show involving other characters #i barely notice bc i'm always looking at guillermo instead. especially in fight scenes #sorry to the others i guess but like. as if it's my fault he gets hotter every episode #oh and of course as always the 'ah ah ah' from 3x10 has to stay #i don't care how much i have to lower the volume of the song so it's audible i'm not removing it #anyway i hope you enjoy this return to my roots!! it's been over half a year since i made an edit like this i forgot how fun it is!! #edits.mp4 #video.mp4

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

#toronto maple leafs #HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET #like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because #my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul #you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that #i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of #Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i #have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m #gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the #coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl #anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren' #bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof #& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th #childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so. #ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get #to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse #but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu #the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea #& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much & #if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy #boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is #solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet #OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc #u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty #leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin #one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight #seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem #the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall #from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding #i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc

[sysig]

Getting up to trouble is his speciality (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #The Captain #Mixed set! :D Lots of singular doodles - one-offs or ones that apply to a few different scenes #The kiss is random tho <3 I still haven't gotten to ZEX showing off his uniform to Zelnick! I want them to!! #Him seeing his Captain in his uniform was so lovely tho <3 I love Big Love and that was so <3 Hehe #Smooch ♥ #ZEX does not eat enough ;; He eats like a bird and it's highly distressing #I actually wrote in my notes that I was surprised he wasn't hurting In The Same entry as when he was experiencing hunger pangs haha #It doesn't help that he tends to talk through meals rather than eat - he's so much more interested in making connections with humans! #As far as metaphors go - killing himself for the sake of trying to bridge that gap - I mean it's apt but ZEX please #I think it was while he was talking to Wally at one point that he framed the War in a very flippant light-hearted way which was funny to me #I don't think that's the descriptor most people would use haha #Swearing <3 <3 VUX terminology <3 <3 #I want a VUX glossary of terms so badly hehe I've been slowly compiling a few here and there :3 Direct translation! The dream ♫ #Him getting stressed enough to swear is very endearing haha ♪ What do you mean I'm endeared by everything he does don't be silly #The next one of me deeply enjoying when he's creepy is not proof of anything! Just because I Happen to also like that!! #I do really love when he's creepy tho agh <3 <3 The mental image of him as The Hunter - casually cornering and capturing his prey <3 #In that instance he was interrupted pretty quickly but the setup was there!! And it was extremely good!!! #I love how huffy he gets as well haha ''All these humans interrupting my seduction attempts >O( ...Wait O|'' lol #And finally an exchange on the board between him and Scarecrow haha so many fun faces around!! #I love him being completely baffled by a non-mechanical construct it just short-circuits his brain haha ♥ #He's so intelligent but there exists things unknowable! #The image of him tapping his pen is so Incredibly cute ah <3 Where did he learn such a thing! Does it translate from his VUX form to this ♪ #Anything everything ♥ Learned or known! It's wonderful

[kosmicfeelings]

I wait for you

;Alex G

#alex’s diary #I knew there would be a day where we wouldn't be together anymore.. I just didn't think it would be that soon. #I'll never understand the ending of us. I'll never understand how it came to be. I'll never understand any of it #I wish they'd understand why I'm upset at them. The ending of us left me confused and lost. Wondering why did you go quiet on me #quiet on me without saying anything before closing the door? #I reread our text messages and I don't understand. How can I ever understand when you said these certain things to me? #To make me feel so loved and cared for and understood only for you to leave in a way. #While I'm trying to trick myself into believing that you still love me - I know you don't. not anymore. #You said you'd always love me.. but oh what a sweet lie that was you gave to me. I was stupid enough to fall for it. #I foolishly still hope that some small part of you still loves and misses me. #But incase you find yourself wanting to come back.. know I'll still be here.. waiting for you. #I meant it that day when I said I'll wait for you. #There will be a day where I've moved on.. but I'll still love you nonetheless.. I'll still find bits and pieces of me missing you #How can I move on after the things we've been through? I mean.. I know I will one day but today is not that day #I'm still lost and confused and upset. #I know I wasn't the best for the last few months we talked... but all I needed was help.. not from you obviously.. I just needed a therapis #Which I have found and she's helping me. but I wish you didn't have to walk away. I wish you didn't have to call me draining. #I'm sorry I was.. I wish I wasn't like that. Maybe if I was someone different you'd still be here. #I want to stop loving you so bad but I can't. it feels impossible to stop loving you. I hate it. Do you want the same but can't get it? #I know you once loved me so that should be enough. #I wish it was just me and you again. I wish it was just us. I miss when it was. #I hope wherever you go you find happiness and love. I hope you forever chase your dreams and that you catch them one day #I thank you for everything that you have given me. #I'm sorry we ended the way we did. I wish we didn't have to come to end. #But sometimes things must end for the world to become bigger. For us to follow a new path. For us to grow and blossom bigger than before #Just know. even though I'm upset and confused. I'll always love and miss you. and I'll wait for you.. I'll wait for you till we meet again #no matter how long it takes. I'll wait for you. #im sorry for everything. #I think I'll always miss you forever like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky

[madamescarlette]

It's important to me as my primary cr1 mutuals that you know that She's Always A Woman is THE Perc'ahlia song out there for me, the associations are so strong for me now (also I Know Places)

okokokokok so I FINALLY got a chance to sit down and listen and had a nice lil cry over how stupidly DEAR AND SWEET THIS SONG IS. She can lead you to love????? She is frequently kind / and she's suddenly cruel???? She'll bring out the best and the worst you can be?????

SCREAMS!!! What a perfect and gentle way to sum up all the contradictions of who Vex is!! And the steady constant way that Perce sees her. There is something so unbearably affectionate and loving about the tone of this song that's so!!!!! much to me and I'm so grateful. Your mind ma'am Grace darling!!!

I Know Places is also an equally sweet song for Vex's side, it gives me all the Briarwoods arc feelings! There is indeed something very very very lovely about someone who will take your hand and run away with you when you are going through the lowest patch of your life and finds a way for you to still be yourself through it all.

#(my personal T + percahlia song is call it what you want because i am in my heart a percy girl) #(and it contains the one image that is most important to me-- #that vex meets him where he is with his curse and everything and loves him with it anyway #and waits for him to come out of it and makes it a world that will envelop him when he does #and that's what ''he built a fire just to keep me warm'' makes me think about #(i know that tal made percy to be a kind of cautionary tale about how going towards your worst impulses eventually poisons you #but instead he became a story about how when you're really loved you can be pulled back from the brink #even when you see nothing but death in your future there's still so much life to live #and you can remember how to want it too #and that's!!! a lot to me. sorry that this became this long thing but you know!!!) #sending you all my love tonight gracie darling girl 💖💕💖💖 #i DO still need to read the scarlet pimpernel again and write up some parallels!!! i've been meaning to do it all year #since you drew that line between them for me! but alas. my analysis brain has been shut off! #i still want to though!! i haven't forgotten and am holding it close to think about it for a while! bless you for telling me!! #ask #cr1 #friends tag

[noxtivagus]

i LOVE stormblood (listening to some of the ost rn <3 i love all the expansions so very much. they all mean a lot to me <3)

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ] #i understand /why/ but it makes me really sad when i see ppl that don't appreciate stb :< it has its faults! yes. & a lot is preference but #it's still objectively good !!!! <3 on my behalf i love stb a lot though. help wait i realize how diverse my taste is from all the way from #traditional to. idk sci-fi and fantasy n music that also matches the vibe.... that said oh my god wait i love ffxiv's ost so much . #in stb i really love a father's pride :^) IT SOUNDS SO HOMEY.... & the ala mihgo ones r my favs too! salt & suffering. liberty or death #oh my god wait soken you genius i can;t do this. i love revolutions so much. i remember crying w the.. YEAH.... i love flowers :< #random but fun fact i used to go by the online alias of 'lily' way wayyy back. & then i've always been enthusiastic when it comes to #researching about things i'm interested about so. flower meanings !! i love that sm. idk why but that said i've always loved white flowers #the most. roses have always been my fave. & on the topic of roses i remember a lore i had for my wol with stormblood omg #apollo n i finally bought the game so we were out of free trial yeah? unlocks market board so i remember buying a lot of glams #i remember buying quite a lot of flowers but i. almost always just use the white rose (or the black one! or the hyacinths) #anyways i. i didn't have the rose on my wol for like the end of stormblood 😭 i was sad about that for a while bcs. lore. #i'm really specific about lore stuff !?! idk !?! but i had some ideas that oh! what if some blood got on it or wtvr. it's in my notes #i think hien had a part to do w it bcs i liked him a lot back then . why do i like leaders sm. alphi / aymeric / haurchefant / emet / herme #all of them have some sort of authority ???? & oh man i remember i've always loved the image of a white rose being tainted by red. #I DIDN'T MEAN TO RAMBLE SO MUCH BUT I LOVE FFXIV SO MUCH 🫶🏼 #dude my discord profile looks so cool rn w my wol & my about me :] that line's from the description of the death summon gbf #nier. i like her honestly n oh god i love her song. vira too. another sky :< help i realize my faves are /often/ blue or red. purple too. #help wait stormblood orchestral music &. god i will never shut up about everything ffxiv it really has so much #azim steppe was sooo chill to go through. i love love it so much. temulun's lines too! ishikawa ily #& then with the patches :^) i started in ul'dah so. Emotional. yes. and then i love tsukuyomi. tsukuyomi.... #i won't say anymore spoilers but sigh that tore me apart </3 i have sm more to write but oh my god TAGS but i love ffxiv so much damn #random & not in stormblood but i remember how hyped i was for ravana? the ost. THE OST. unbending steel's lyrics.... oh my god #I LOVE THE OST SO MUCH I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT AAAAAA i forgot abt that 3:13 part o hmy god HOLY FUCK #i feel alive again. overwhelmed with love. god i love this so fucking much thank you ffxiv i wna cry i love ffxiv so much 😭😭 #thinking abt fordola :< & thinking of the wol's trauma gives me chills. & remembering as well of my own lore for my wol throughout this #the ost? the dialogue? the story? the characters? the pain oh my god i love how they express & do the storytelling so much #god this is what i mean when i say ffxiv naturally and immediately gives me inspiration. & motivation. i really really want to write #I'M EMOTIONAL. HFKJDAKFLSJLKDF the music n. oh my god everything just everything. ffxiv. ff. all of it

[arolesbianism]

Y'know I was thinking abt how I like to bully alone dupes in oni when they enter the socializing state alone but then I realized... When they're socializing they go to the printing pod. They're talking with their deadbeat mom that's so cute 🥺

#rat rambles #ok ok calling her a deadbeat mom may be a bit harsh but its not completely untrue imo dhdkhd #anyways I didnt make a lot of progress today in my main oni playthrough but I finally got a couple that Ive been kinda avoiding getting #aka ari and joshua because I like to hate on them for no reason #I also got a nails today so yippee #Im almost good to go with jorge I just need to wait out the timer basically #I've actually already gotten some decent food production going so I might try to commit to this colony instead of dipping like I planned #I will be sending quinn back home tho they deserve to see their friends again #in the meantime I got party phones set up in the newer two colonies so everyone can call eachother now :] #Im still not exactly sure how Im going to fit like 20 more dupes but Ill figure smth out #I should be able to fit like 5 or so dupes in the newest colony and if I play my cards right I could shove the rest into the other new one #but for that Id need to seriously upscale my oxygen production there and while I do have infinite water I do not have infinite space #but I do wanna get to my goal as fast as possible since I do not wanna think abt what would happen if I ran out of certain materials #specifically in the second newest colony were their main food source is waterweed #I should be able to manage for a while and worse comes to worse I can cheat but Id rather not have to #I could theoretically switch to mealwood if that happens but again Id rather not have to #oh also some real poggers news I found a single bristle blossom plant on the newest colony #I still need to go dig it out but that means that Ill be able to start progress on getting a more reliable food source since grup fruit #will only last so long without me taming a sulfur guyser and well Im a wuss who doesnt want my lil guys to die #oni posting

[prettycottagequeer]

ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)

SO these I should start on asap:

50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make

100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week

150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)

200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)

these can wait longer:

300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect

500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)

1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks

2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.

Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese

here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)

How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks

I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.

that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.

the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.

On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started