#i'm ready to die now

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍 #hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well. #obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it. #realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway. #so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct! #and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want... #best case scenario. is what i'm saying. #every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day. #fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :) #aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself. #FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

[francy-sketches]

Rhaena and her pink barbie dragon 🎀

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #valyrianscrolls #rhaena targaryen #rhaena of pentos #morning #<- most useless tag ever lol #my art #went a bit off description with the blue but i was looking at pink sky pictures and wanted to make her look like them #also she's meant to be pale pink idk if this is pale enough. opsie #aegon 3 calling her a wretched creature...are you ready to die bitch #when she was a BABY btw. being mean to a baby what is wrong with you #'ahh no a dragon ate my mom and now I'm traumatized' omg you're so dramatic get over it -_-

[alilaro]

move over nerds, the clock tumblr sexyman is out. it’s time for Ominous Older British Woman That Lives In The Ceiling And Might Be God time.

#dhmis #dhmis spoilers #dont hug me im scared #don't hug me i'm scared #bro im high as fuck with a migraine and i just saw the final episode and my mind wasn't ready for Suddenly A Person #but also like UGH i want their gender #expect fanart sometime if i dont die from Headache™ #.......... but seriously get that fucking clock out of here now deadass

[bronzebluemind]

It’s been 0 weeks since the World Cup finale, 17 weeks to go until sgp and 34 weeks to go until next season.

#and we are back 🫠👍 #first countdown post is always the worst one #but it will get better just not now or the next weeks #trying to uphold some sense of community with these countdowns #i am not ready for the tag to die #and to not have any comps in the foreseeable future and with that no sj content #I'm fine this is fine #😭😭😭 #oh I forgot this is also the first post that gets the offseason tag this is bad #someone sedate me until next winter #yeah I am feeling totally normal about this sure that's a completely healthy reaction #the range of emotions I went through preparing this post #and in case you're wondering I always plan to prepare these posts for a few weeks or the whole offseason in advance and never do it #so of course I frantically open tumblr at 11:59 am on sundays accompanied by muttering shit shit shit and type the post and tags #plans made but chaos reigns #there are no fixed calendars out yet they are usually discussed and approved in the spring meeting in april #but I based this on the last years so it should be more or less accurate :) #ski jumping #offseason2024 #sgp countdown 24 #actually it's 25 because it counts as part of the new season but that seem awfully confusing so it stays 24 here #sj countdown 24 #same with this one technically it's 24/25 but yeaaahhh the season starts in 24 so it's fine

[hamartia-grander]

I'm a real tragedy enjoyer but Luis's death is no longer narratively enjoyable for me, now it just feels like an insult. I'm tired of characters having to die to be "redeemed". It's not their death that is the redemption, it's the fact that they were willing to die in the first place; it's the intent of sacrifice. I much prefer a narrative where Luis survives and is forced to every day atone for his past mistakes. I much prefer when characters don't get the respite of death, when they have to live with their demons, when they have to face their past and maintain their growth. And it's especially maddening when the only reason Luis dies is because he did in the original. They'll change his character so much to give him substance but they won't change his fate? I don't want that.

#Rant I guess. Idk the more I think about Luis's death the more I realise why it's never really satisfied me narratively #resident evil #Luis Serra #Luis Serra Navarro #Resident evil 4 remake #Resident evil 4 #Re4 #Re4 remake #Re4r #Luis Babygirl Serra #Like. One of the things I love so much about star wars the last jedi. Besides it being the best SW movie. Is that Finn doesn't die. #He is so ready to sacrifice himself and that's a big significance to his character development. But he doesn't. Die. #Because it's not death that redeems you it's the intent of sacrifice in the first place #If someone wasn't willing to die for a cause and they did that doesn't make them a martyr that doesn't mean they're redeemed #Look at kylo ren! Fuck that guy! He wasn't redeemed at all! Yet he died #Idk I'm just. I'm just tired of Luis's death not being given more thought like the rest of his character was #At first I was like ah yes I love the tragedy of it but now I'm just tired

[allgremlinart]

my one . possibly controversial (? ) Zuko take is that I really don't think he's ever killed anyone...

*to be clear tho I am someone who does NOT take into account instances of cartoon physics. as in: scenes where a cartoon man is thrown from a height that would normally kill a human but as it is shown in the children's cartoon it is not implied to have caused death. that applies to instances of Aang “killing” people as well (EXCEPT for that scene in the b1 finale. those guys are all dead buddy...)

#but really tho - I think HE thinks he's ready and willing to kill - and he's spoken as if he is - but. like he couldn't even let Zhao die #and he HATED Zhao. idk I just can't get on board with the “hrg.. yes I've killed before and I'm used to it�� Zuko I see in fics sometimes #a Zuko who is ashamed for failing to be as brutal as his culture demands and overcompensating elsewhere...that tracks with me #actually he failed to kill/mortally wound Zhao TWICE now that I think about it; in episode 3 too... #atla

[mattodore]

new questionnaire photos <3

#good morning!!! woke up and started editing these right away bc i'm in the hospital with oc plague unforch 😔</3 #i just updated the old questionnaires with these actually ‼️ #i want to make individual photos for the old ones too with all the bells and whistles but for now these will be the placeholders! #river dipping #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #echthroi #ts4 #ts4 edit #simblr #also yeah finally took off the slutty turtleneck only to replace it with a slutty mock neck instead. had to get rid of the label tho #matthias hates branded lettering or imagery on clothes... you would never find this man wearing a graphic t-shirt i think he'd rather die #he's SOOOO snobby lmao #these are from when i was fixing their sims and saving a proper version of their household the other day #i’m still cleaning out my library of trays and getting their outfits in order! #but i’m so close to being ready to rip their sims for poses 🧎 #i have so many pose ideas now!! but i think i should probably start working on their homes first #just so i have layouts and everything in mind while making poses #i think theo’s apartment and matthias’s chateau are the ones to work on… #theo’s apartment should be the easiest bc it’s the smallest #but. knowing me… even an apartment is going to take me weeks to make #i really want to start though. #i think of theo’s bedroom in his apartment all the time like in my head it's really cluttered with all these little trinkets #these things theo's picked up over the last three years since he's been living on his own #and it's all dark browns and greens... stained glass... beautiful tiles... ugh #his apartment is so gorgeous in my head!!! trust me!!! #...also by new questionnaire photos i do mean i'm writing a new one lmao jnhkjf not that these are new pics for the old ones—tho they are! #i'm glad to actually be writing abt mattodore again bc the last month or so i was like. controlled by the urge to make edits #like!! enough visuals!! let's write!!!

[depressiv]

ʷʰᵃᵗˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖᵒⁱⁿᵗ ⁱⁿ ᵗʳʸⁱⁿᵍ

#lost #depressing shit #i wanna die #die #tw self destruction #mentally tired #bpd thoughts #su1cide #su1c1d4l #su1c1dal #su1c1d3 #k!ll me please #k!ll me now #i dont fucking know #self destruction #bpd mood #depressiv #depressiv's indirects #ready to kms #i want to kms #i wanna kms #im going to kms #kms #sorry for being depressing #im so tired #im tired #whats the point #i'm tired #tired #bpd life

[zooted-ribbons]

*snorts cat-nip aggressively*

#ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuh #ready to kms #random #idk just kill me #im going to kms #imma go die now #i don't know how to tag #idk what i'm doing #kms #kill me #ask gangle #tadc gangle #cat girl

[chilihonie]

"If I'm reincarnated... I want to live somewhere where life is easier. Where nobody has to steal, or kill... I'll live with him, and the girls, and...No! I don't want to die! I have so much to do!"

#Not a word of a lie my friends I'm crying ugly fucking tears right now #I knew it was coming but I wasn't ready #He didn't want to die #He wanted to live #He only just learned how to be a good person and he didn't get the chance to do more #He finally saw a bit of good in the distance and it was just in time to know what he was losing #He wasn't ready #He wanted to keep going #Love and peace #All he ever wanted was love and peace #Wolfwood #Trigun #Trigun 1998 #Spoilers #Death tw #Major character Death

[slusheeduck]

Fictober 2023 Day 2 - Prompt: "That's all? Easy." Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

The gasp stopped Astarion in his tracks. It wasn’t often Karlach of all people gasped, after all, so the likelihood of there being danger was much higher than it had been a moment ago. He whirled around, hand on his blade and teeth at the ready. Gods, he hoped it was an actual clown. He’d love to kill an actual clown.

He was greeted by a squeal of delight from the tiefling as she pointed at a nearby stall. Well, not the stall itself; rather, the gigantic stuffed almirajs hanging from the top of the stall.

“Aren’t they just presh?” she cooed. “And I can properly cuddle them now! Poor Clive’s gotten charred more times than I can count.” She sent him an entreating look. “Can we stop for a mo, Astarion? Please? We can catch up with the others quick enough.”

For a moment, Astarion was going to say hells no, we need to get out of this gods-forsaken circus immediately. But, heartless bastard though he might be, there was no way to ignore the imploring look Karlach was sending his way. He sighed.

“Fine. But be quick,” he said, crossing his arms. “I heard Gale say he wanted to go to a bookstore, and we need to be there to ensure he gets out of the bookstore.”

“Loud and clear, soldier.” She practically skipped up to the stall, Astarion trailing behind her.

The game was standard circus fare—three bottles stacked in a pyramid to be knocked down by a ball. “One hundred gold for 3 balls,” the attendant said with a grin, looking Karlach over. “Knock down the bottles and you’ll win a prize.”

“That’s all? Easy,” Karlach said with a cocky grin, pulling out the gold. As she did, Astarion’s eyes darted over the stall. These games were always rigged, and the attendant should be far less excited seeing someone like Karlach coming up to play.

Once the gold was counted out, the attendant set three balls in front of Karlach. She picked one up, giving the elf behind her a smile. “Watch this, Asti.”

“Watching, darling.”

Karlach wound up, then heaved the ball at the bottles. It did knock them down…and shot right through the back of the stall, no doubt embedding itself somewhere about thirty feet away.

Astarion caught a glint of greed in the attendant’s eyes before he whirled around to Karlach, indignant. “What are you doing, wrecking my stall like that?” he snapped at her. Karlach immediately drew back, eyes wide.

“Oh, I…sorry, I forget I’m…I’ll pay for it,” she said, cowed.

“Like hells you will!” the attendant snapped at her. “That’s at least a thousand gold!”

“A-a thou…?” She turned back to Astarion, looking panicked. “I haven’t got a thousand gold on me!”

“Then you’d better give me what you do have,” the attendant said, fixing a furious look on her.

“Does she at least get the almiraj?” Astarion drawled out from behind her. “She did knock down the bottles.”

“Prizes are automatically forfeit in the event of broken merchandise,” the attendant sniffed, crossing his arms. “No almiraj.”

That seemed to take the last of the wind out of Karlach’s sails. She sagged, and it even looked like the fire in her dimmed a bit. Astarion’s eyes flicked between her and the attendant, and he stepped forward.

“I’ll take care of it,” he told her. “I’m good for the money. You go catch up with the others.” He looked over to the attendant. “Can we go around the back? I want to see the extent of the damage.”

Greed once again glinted in the attendant’s eyes. He thought he had a real good mark—he’d likely double the price once seeing the “true extent” of the damage. Well, he would if he got the chance, but Astarion was hardly going to let that happen.

Instead, the moment they were behind the stall, his blade was out, held right up to the attendant’s unshaved neck.

“Now you listen here,” he hissed through his teeth. The attendant’s eyes widened; he must have noticed just how sharp they were. Good. “There are two ways this encounter can end. First, you tell me that the damage really isn’t that great, and by the way, sorry for the trouble, here’s an almiraj to make up for it. Or, alternately…” The blade dug in just a touch deeper; his nostrils flared as he caught the barest scent of blood. “…you were an unfortunate casualty of those shapeshifters we saw earlier. Tragic, and very avoidable, but nothing to be done.” His head tilted, meeting the attendant’s eyes dead-on. “So, darling, what will it be?”

~

“Yeah, he said he’d take care of it,” Karlach said, rubbing her arm as she looked between Gale and Falerin. “I still feel awful about it, making him pay. Think there’s a good way to make it up to him later o—?”

She trailed off as she heard the sound of a throat clearing behind her, then turned around. She let out a massive gasp as a giant almiraj greeted her.

“Big misunderstanding,” Astarion said, nodding the almiraj’s head for emphasis. “The damage wasn’t nearly as bad as he thought, and he gave me this for the trouble. Nice fellow, really, once I got him to see reason.” He held the stuffed animal out to Karlach. “However, I’m not really one for these things. I think you’ll like much more.”

“Fuck yes I would!” Karlach grabbed the almiraj, giving it a big squeeze. “Aw, Asti, you’re the best!”

Astarion waved his hand dismissively. “Yes, yes, I’m the picture of generosity. Now can we go? If I see another person in face paint I’m going to break out in a rash.”

Karlach, more than happy with her prize, led the way out, with Gale close behind. Falerin, meanwhile, fell in step with Astarion, giving him a knowing smile as his two-toned gaze settled on him.

“I know what you did,” the half-drow murmured.

Astarion scoffed, then muttered back, “You don’t know a single godsdamned thing.”

Fictober 2023 Drabble Master Post

#fictober23 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #karlach #fanfic #drabble #I was ready to die for these two before the high rollers stream and now I'm even more ready to #Also still an hour and a half before midnight so we're on a ROLL!

[petrichor-reminiscence]

on the topic of rvb restoration coming out on the 7th

guys help i am NOT emotionally ready for tuesday i'm going to fucking die i aosidgsdoiajgsdjgj

i've been watching red vs blue for thirteen years man, keeping up with everything and watching the new seasons as they came out and even trying to defend zero because my goofy self didn't want to admit that zero was honestly pretty shitty lmao. this show literally molded me into the person i am today - my humor, the way i act, and hell even some of my morals (the good morals don't worry lol).

anyways, to any of y'all who've been here for the long haul like me, or even just found out what red vs blue was yesterday, i hope you all enjoy restoration when it comes out. i'm hoping i will.

#rem rambles #screaming crying throwing up #red vs blue #rvb #aosijdgosidagjdioasg #i'm not ready i'm not ready i'm not ready #i have so many theories and i'm just hoping and praying most of them don't come true #because they're mostly about who might die or not #losing my mind right now

[kittenofdoomage]

When you get on the bus with your very large hairy husband and the guy driving is that one ex-boyfriend from your 20s that caused so much drama/heartache/depression (honestly I could slap myself fifteen years ago) and all you can do is giggle when he's all 😯

🤣🤣🤣🤣

My husband thought it was funny after I explained.

#seems stupid to think about it now #but I was all ready to die for this guy #back then it felt like love #it was not #now I'm older I can't help but laugh at myself #and the mistakes I definitely learned from

[anotherpapercut]

literally every time I try to have the drug conversation I'm met with people promoting actual conspiracy theories with very tenuous relationships to the truth. I've had to explain so many times that it's actually impossible for LSD to "stay in your spinal cord" and I'm often met with roundly debunked studies from 1983 that have a sample size of 4. if you're going to act like you know what you're talking about you should probably actually know what you're talking about

#i read 1 book and now im an expert! i know mothing about the history of drugs and drug culture but a well known conspiracy theorist #and the us government tell me theyre bad and evil so im gonna listen! #im going to kill myself #that last tag was just me talking lmao I'm so. ready to die dksbkadbns

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

As much fun as I'm having doing my alternative run of DA2, one thing I really miss about my mage Hawke is his friendship with Merrill.

Those two are best friends and he's 100% supportive in her goals toward the eluvian. Ed has the humorous/charming personality, too, which bounces off super well with Merrill. He doesn't think any less of her for her usage of blood magic; if anything he's impressed by her level of strength and willpower. He's so ready to defend her from the other companions and the clan, and he's absolutely out here attempting to matchmake her and Carver....at least he is in my heart because the game won't let me, it's fine, I'm not bitter about it or anything-

But then my warrior Hawke? She has the diplomatic personality with quite a bit of direct/aggressive thrown in there and she ends up having the same attitude as that one party banter Aveline and Merrill have: "Merrill, you're clearly talented and meant for great things, but you're stupid," and that's so difficult for me to lean into. I'm trying to play Aris differently so she ends up being so condescending to Merrill, like she's trying to gently tell her to give up on the eluvian but it doesn't come off well.

Also if Carver was around, Aris would be the opposite of Ed, she'd look at the suggestion of her brother and Merrill getting together and be like, "No :) I don't think so :) I like Merrill, she's my friend :) but she's not right for Carver."

But I guess it makes sense; if you told him that Bethany would giggle and kick her feet and twirl her hair around Sebastian, Ed would've thrown him in the ocean as a warning. Meanwhile, Aris is like, "A handsome prince that could take my sister away from all of this? Wonderful, we just need to work on his incorrect views on mages, but that shouldn't be a problem :)"

Anyway I miss playing Hawke as the #1 Merrill stan.

#dragon age 2 #da2 #da2 merrill #carver hawke #bethany hawke #sebastian vael #da2 hawke #edgar hawke #aris hawke #listen i'm a little weirdo i like comparing the different ways to play the heroes of da games but especially the different hawkes #i like comparing my own hawkes and i like looking at other peoples hawkes and the different relationship dynamics they bring to the table #kicks my little gremlin brain into gear #like ed always rivals aveline and their relationship is strained at best... meanwhile aris and aveline are ride or die best friends #and seeing aveline from both perspectives is....... well it's an experience i'll just say that sksksks #oh also i miss anders so much sksksk i miss his romance and the dynamic he and ed have #aris rejected him right from the start and while it's neat to see her character through an unromantic lens i still miss him and his bullshi #aris romanced isabela and *that* makes me want to bite nom nom so interesting and heartbreaking in its own way like losing leandra like tha #and then dealing with the qunari bullshit only to find out isabela's part in it before she abandons aris with the book #and then aris reunites with bethany who is bitter and pissed off and can't get away from her fast enough like........ the end of act 2 y'al #aris was *ready* for the arishok fight solely because she needed an outlet for her frustration and grief and agony #she couldn't kick his ass fast enough sksksksks and now she's so Done with everything and then isabela admits that she's in love with her #and it's just................. a lot. it's so much. i can't #anders and isabela's respective romances drive me nuts for very different reasons i love them #this has been another 'cj needs to ramble about [blank]' post #stay tuned for next week where she continues to sob about the hawke twins

[moe-broey]

I've never been a "born in the wrong generation" type of guy because for So Many reasons I would be dead. Full stop like I would have died during childbirth I would have died of appendicitis age 8 and that's not even factoring in my queerness and neurodivergency and ultimately my mental health (carefully maintained thanks to support/modern advances in medicine and treatment). On Top Of That my hobbies include The Video Game and many such things that are of modern invention (adjacently: including The Device I'm typing this out on right now which has become my main avenue of communication to the outside world)

But I'm just saying that. It WOULD be nice. To exist in a world where fluorescent lighting doesn't exist and everything is possibly 99% less overstimulating all of the time forever.

#and like. a little less capitalist dystopia. i could do with less of that. #but focusing primarily on my own struggle. it's just a bummer sometimes like #i genuinely had fun!!! w my sisters and friends!!! esp at the arcade w ddr that is ALWAYS so fun #but man you can't even take me to your own damn house unless if you're ready to accept vampire rules. #my sister can/does dim the lights if i ask and i don't mind asking it's just fucking crazy to me like #damn uoy guys live like this. bright ass lights ten diff convos at once music in the bg. what if i died on this beanbag #BUT. THAT IS. one thing that is very nice i AM allowed to die on the beanbag!!!!!!! i'm allowed to cozy up and rest #while everyone does their own thing and i can listen in and chime in every now and again. severely underrated tbh #i really only feel a little hopeless when i think about like. public spaces where the only thing i can control is myself #IF i am ever employable again my requirements would be. no florescent lighting. i will die. #which like. kind of limits my prospects. #i do enjoy outdoors/physical work actually though so. i'm just limited bc i have to bind. #i am. so severely. banking on top surgery working out. it won't be a cure-all but by god it WILL open up my options #plus the. constant fatigue. of binding. but not binding is even worse. i need divine intervention (surgery) #SAD. well there are other people in yhe world #but man rhat is like my fave joke to make but i feel so much sadness attached to it. the world will move on without me. #there are a million other people who are far more capable. much 'easier'. ect. #and i know the answer is well there's only one me and there are a handful of people who love me. who keep me and include me #i am very thankful for that. #it's just a bit of a bummer sometimes. i stay silly and have the most fun i can but i am a little sad about it.