#i'll look t this in 24 hours and see where its at.

[piraticaltwit]

#whitechapel itv #spooks bbc #help a bro out. i can't make up my mind. #brain go brrrr and i am stuck in executive dysfunction. #i'll look t this in 24 hours and see where its at.

[salt-is-a-terrible-currency]

Zealot

Written for day 26 of the Narcos fandom smut alphabet over on @narcosfandomdiscord

Fandom: Narcos, Deadpool movieverse

Rating: Explicit, 18+

Words: 3 991 (this one really got a life of its own)

Pairing: Javier x f!reader, Nathan 'Cable' Summers x f!reader

Prompt: zeal

Warnings: verbal fight, threats of gun violence, one night stand, rough sex, biting, some dirty talk, makeup sex

Tagging: @futurewife

It's the last prompt and I figured go big or go home. Then this monstrosity happened.

"Fuck you," you snap. Javier's face twitches but he doesn't respond, instead leaning back against the wall out on your patio for a second before finally nodding. You follow him back inside the house, past the kitchen that’s still a mess from your dinner that he interrupted by inviting himself over, and into the hallway where he grabs his jacket and shrugs it on. As he steps outside, you decide to get another kick in for good measure:

"Show up at my house again and I'll shoot you," you say, then slam the door shut in his face.

⁂

You already know you look good, especially tonight, but the reactions you get when stepping into the bar less than 24 hours after your blow-up with Javier is still an ego boost you sorely needed. A group of regulars throw glances in your direction, one of them even leaning out of his seat to get a better look at you as you saunter past and head for the row of high chairs facing the desk. With a glass of overly sweet wine in your hand, you glance around the bar. There’s no lack of men here tonight, though most of them you cross off the list immediately. Some of them for being married, and others for being old enough to be your grandfather. You order a second glass of wine and return to weighing your options. 

Just as you’re considering who to sidle up to - Benicio Moreno or Marcus Ruiz - a figure appears in the open door. He’s in heavy boots, some sort of utility pants with countless pockets and a thick belt, a gray t-shirt fitted so snugly that if the temperature were to drop by even a few degrees you’re certain you’d be able to see his nipples. You bite back a giggle at the thought. Thick arms-  the left one with marred and partially tattooed skin - and a buzzcut in need of a touch-up. A few heads turn the man’s way as he enters but nothing like when you did. You feel like you’ve hit the jackpot. The stranger’s from out of town, he has to be, and there’s barely any women at the bar tonight. You wait for him to pull out another chair, two seats to your right, and listen as he places his order in a gruff voice. It’s unladylike to be desperate, your mother and grandmother both told you as much, so you sip your wine and pretend not to notice his presence. Five more seconds, you think to yourself as you down the last of your second glass, then I’ll introduce my-

"What are you having?" A gruff voice interrupts. You jump, startled to find that the man has shifted to the seat next to you. 

"White wine," you answer, quickly recovering to flash a smile at him. They only have the one kind and it's not very good, but it's cheap and it does the job. Now that the man’s up close, you get a better look at him. He’s got a sharp jaw with a hint of stubble on it, a faint scar at the back of his right cheek and…and, you realize, there’s something about his left eye. Like it’s a different shade from his right. Not different enough to be blatantly obvious but here, up close, you can tell they’re not identical. He flags the bartender down to refill your glass and you raise it to his in a silent toast.

"What's your name, stranger?" you ask. He leans forward on the desk, face turned to you.

"I'm Nathan." Now that you’re not startled by him speaking, the sound of his voice goes straight to your core. It’s a voice you can imagine growling praise as you suck his soul out through his dick. You uncross your legs and lean forward a little.

"You new to town, Nathan?" You’re pretty damn sure of the answer but it doesn’t hurt to double-check. It’s just a glance but you catch it: his eyes dropping to your cleavage before meeting your gaze again.

"I've been to the area before, but not Laredo,” he explains. “Got hired for a job, finished early so I figured I'd take a night of rest before starting the drive back." You don’t realize how much the wine has affected you until you hear yourself answer him:

"Well, Nathan, I have to tell you I don't foresee your night being very restful." What the hell did I just say? Nathan, to your relief, doesn’t take offense. He chuckles, low and raspy, then leans in close to your ear. You’re already feeling faint and when his hand lands at your thigh your eyes flutter shut.

"Your place or mine?" he asks.

⁂

The way his lips move against you is a complete opposite compared to Javier’s. 

Nathan tears the dress from your body. It joins his discarded pants and t-shirt at the threshold to your bedroom. He falls back against the headboard, pulls you on top of him with your back to his scarred and tattooed chest, then reaches under the backs of your thighs so that your legs bend at the knee.

“Go on, sweetheart” he says, nipping at your jawline, “Get me inside you.” He knows you’re wet enough to take him, ran his fingers along the seat of your soaked panties while you were fumbling to unlock the front door. You do as he says, wrapping your fingers around his cock and taking note of how he growls as you notch him to your opening. With a shift of your hips, he disappears into you. He gives you but a split second to adjust before he moves. Your whole body jolts as Nathan pounds into you, making sure you can feel every last bit of him. Every curve and dip, down to the last vein of his cock. His hands grasp your legs in a vice-like grip. His hot breath at the back of your head sends chills through your body. A stark contrast to your skin which feels on fire, sweat running down your brow and stinging your eyes. Your breathing coming out in bursts with each punch of his cock into your cunt. The way he works your body has you trembling, the first whispers of your climax building in your core like a knot winding itself tighter and tighter. When it bursts, your back arches and you sob his name like it’s a prayer. Nathan doesn’t let up.

“Gorgeous girl,” he drawls, “The things I’ll do to you.” He slams into you another one, two, three times before tensing like bowstring and snarling like a beast unhinged. His hands keep you there as rope after rope of cum gushes into you. You feel dizzy, teetering on the edge of a giggle.

Nathan releases your legs and you tip back against his broad, sweaty chest. His lips press to yours in a hungry kiss which you blindly reciprocate, little sparks of electricity still running along your skin from just the memory of his cock inside you. You whine as his lips disappear but soon something else taps against your mouth. You open your eyes, finding two fingers held in front of you. 

“Suck them,” he commands, bumping the tips against your lips, “Want you to get them wet like they’d been in that tight little pussy of yours.” You find his darkened eyes, see the lust in them. Feeling devious, you take only the tips of his fingers into your mouth and bite. Not enough to draw blood but enough that he hisses a curse under his breath. You turn to face him, getting on your hands and knees. Nathan’s chest reverberates with a growl.

“What’re you playing at, sweetheart?” Inching closer, you bite your lower lip at him. He’s still got his fingers up and you stick your tongue out, licking where previously you nipped. 

“I’m not playing at anything,” you say innocently. Nathan’s lips twist into a grin. You take his fingers as deep as you can, stopping just short of gagging, and seal your lips tightly around them to give one long, firm suck. A slight tickle at your shoulder tells you that he’s letting his free hand wander. It brushes across your collarbones, lightly presses at the hollow of your throat, then slides down to cup your breast. Gentle at first, then harder as you withdraw from his fingers - a string of saliva prolonging the contact between you.

“That wet enough?” you ask, again feigning innocence. His face twists into something animalistic, and as it does he twists your nipple. You whine, equal parts pain and pleasure coursing through you.

“On your back, sweetheart.” His tattooed arm wraps around you, helps guide you through the abrupt change in position, while he uses the other to prop himself up. Your back hits the mattress, a cold spot beneath your buttcheek that must be from where his cum has leaked out of your throbbing cunt. Nathan’s scruff chafes your chin as he pries your lips apart with his tongue, licking at the roof of your mouth until your mind is buzzing with nothing but thoughts of how it would feel to have him to that between your legs. As if he’s read your thoughts, Nathan retreats from your lips. He crawls down the length of you, kissing down your chest, lingering briefly at your sensitive breasts before moving down to your belly button where he also presses his lips. His mouth is hot on your skin, forcing your already unsteady breathing into nothing but shallow rasps of air. He pauses as he reaches the spot between your parted legs. You can only see the top of his head, his eyes turned to your exposed sex. Then you feel it. His tongue moving along your seam in methodical, determined movements. You cry out, your hips jolting up only for his hands to grab and press you back down so that he can continue without interruptions. Even though the room is practically a sauna at this point, even though your skin feels on fire, you shiver at the feeling of his mouth on your cunt. He brings a hand up, spreading your folds open for his tongue to push inside.

“Nate…” you rasp. He hums into you at the same as his thumb swipes across your aching clit and again you try to buck up against him but again he stops you. His hand cracks against the inside of your thigh, setting off another ripple of heat between your legs, and you take the slap for the warning it is. Determined to stay put, you reach down to his shoulders and hold on. Just the feel of his muscles rippling beneath your hands is enough to make your eyes roll back in your head. His hand finds its way back between your legs to continue the ministrations. There’s nothing soft about how he circles it, but neither is he adding enough pressure for you to cum. Your nails dig ever deeper into his skin with each thrust of his tongue, certain that he’ll have marks in the morning to match the deep bruises from his tight grip on your hips, and at the moment you couldn’t care less. Nathan pulls back, the loss of his tongue inside you leaving empty and aching. But only for a brief moment. He seals his lips around your clit, hands on your inner thighs keep you spread wide, and sucks. The orgasm comes seemingly out of nowhere, your whole body tensing and then relaxing in an instant as wave after wave of bone-melting heat overtakes you. You feel like you’re floating, like you can see stars.

From the corner of your eye, you see Nathan rise onto his knees and wipe his mouth. Then he disappears from view but the shift of the mattress and his heavy groan tells you that he’s laid down next to you. Mind and body still buzzing, you scoot closer until you’re skin to skin and seek him out with a kiss on his shoulder. He meets you in one, lips to lips, but when he tries for a second you slip further down his body to instead suck at the spot where his tattooed pec transitions into unmarked skin. He tastes of salt and cigarette smoke. You go even lower, finding his happy trail and burying your nose in it while smothering a giggle. A kiss to his left hipbone, then to his right, and you find yourself face to face with his once again erect cock. You peer up at Nathan, bat your eyelashes.

“Want to have a taste, sweetheart?” he asks, thrusting forward to let the reddened tip of his cock brush against your lips. You smile at him, dazed, and let your jaws fall open in invitation. He chuckles darkly, runs his cock along your lower lip. You surge forward, taking him in your mouth and squeezing him at the root with your fist like you’ve noticed many men enjoy. Based on the obscene moan that escapes him, Nathan is no different. You begin to bob along his length, coating him with as much saliva as you can - in addition to your own slick still clinging to him from before - to ease your way and keeping your fist tightly locked around the base of him. When he shifts his hips, you dig the nails of your left hand into his thigh. Warning him like he did you. He huffs but his hips do sink back against the mattress and you smile around his length. Another couple of bobs and you pull back for a breath of air, sliding your fist right below the head and rubbing the slit in it with the pad of your thumb.

“Nate,” you coo at him. “Need you to fuck my throat.” Immediately, work hardened fingers move down and grasp at the back of your head to keep you still, your head in the right angle, as he begins to thrust savagely into you. The first stroke is enough to make you gag, saliva running from the corners of your mouth and staining the bedlinen even further. With each thrust, your nose hits the bush of dark hair between his legs. You gag and sputter, legs trembling with the effort not to choke around him. It’s a lot, and at the same time there’s nothing like the kick you get from hearing Nathan’s pained groans as he fucks into you. When he tenses, the back and forth motion of his hips ceasing, you press forward from your current position at his tip and once more bury your face in the dark patch of hair - nuzzling it for good measure. Nathan gives up an inhuman sound. He floods your mouth, the taste of salt erupting at the back of your tongue. His short-trimmed nails scrape over your skull. Not holding you there anymore, just touching. When you’re content that there’s no more to receive, you pull away with a wet sound and crawl further up into bed to once again face him. Nathan flashes a lopsided grin.

“I don’t know which idiot pissed you off and made you go to the bar tonight,” he says, “but his stupidity is my luck.”

⁂

You ogle Nathan as he pulls his jacket back on in your hallway, the scent of your soap clinging to his skin. ‘I smell like a girl’, he gruffed and you replied, cheek-in-tongue: ‘Yeah, you do. Because you slept with one’. He chuckled at that. You open the door, go to walk him to his car but stop in your tracks at the sight of something unexpected. Someone unexpected. Javier is walking up your driveway, hands in his pockets and looking every bit as stone faced as last time you saw him. First, you’re shocked. Then, you’re pissed. You cross your arms over your chest.

“What are you doing here?” you demand. Javier, catching onto the fact that you’re outside, 

lifts his gaze to you, goes to speak but stops. Stares. Right past your shoulder. Next to you, Nathan steps into the late morning sun. He too stops as he notices the new arrival and the tension in the air.

"This your husband or something?" he asks you, brow furrowed.

"No,” you say loudly, “this is a piece of shit who I told never to show up at my doorstep again." Javier’s whole face scrunches up in that way it does when you know he’s trying very hard not to say something he’ll regret. After a beat of silence, his gaze flits from you to Nathan.

"Do you mind giving us a moment?" Javier asks. Your eyebrows jump up at that. You hadn’t expected something so polite from him. Nathan turns to you. 

"He's not going to hit you or some shit, is he?" You shake your head. Even if Javier ever got the idea of laying hands on you, you’re close enough with his dad that you’re confident the younger Peña would regret it for the rest of his life. Nathan throws his hands up. 

"Alright then, I'm leaving," he announces, before turning to you and - with a grin - adding: “I had fun.” You return the smirk but say nothing. No sooner has Nathan closed the car door than Javier is striding toward you, arms crossed.

“What was that about, hm?” he demands as Nathan pulls out of the driveway. Guess the politeness was just for show. You sigh.

“I told you to fuck off, Javier.” You turn and head back inside, Javier hot on your heels.

“I’m sorry,” he says, pulling the door closed behind him. “Alright? I’m sorry I said your job doesn’t matter.” You stop, turn to face him. Now that he’s up close you can tell he looks like shit. There’s bags under his eyes, hair more ruffled than usual, and he reeks of cigarettes. He told you he’d quit last month. Something within you melts at the state of him. Javier sighs.

“I’d had a shit week and when you blew me off to work late I got upset,” he explains. “Shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” You mull over his apology. It’s not like the two of you are in a relationship, both of you are free to sleep with whoever, though more often than not you turn to each other for sex. You know he’s seen others when you were out of town, just like you’ve seen others. It’s just because you know each other, are comfortable with each other’s preferences in bed and confident in the fact that you’ll have a good time together.

“I’m not your girlfriend, Javi, you can’t demand my time like that again. And you certainly can’t get upset about me sleeping with someone else when I know for a fact you fucked Marianne Jamison last month when I was visiting family.” His face twitches.

“I know,” he says. “I was an asshole and I’ll make it up to you.” The last bit of anger melts away and you let your arms fall back to your sides.

“When?” you ask. Javier’s face changes, from the beaten down look into something you’re more used to seeing. Hunger. He doesn’t waste any time before he presses his mouth to yours. His kiss is dominating, showing you who is in control this time. And when he presses his tongue past the seam of your lips, your whole body melts to him like an ice cream cone in the Texas sun, readily submitting to him. There’s that buzz in your head again. And with it the feeling of pleasant warmth gathering between your legs. You barely realize that he’s moving you until your backside hits something and your eyes fly open, finding yourself in the kitchen with your back against the edge of the counter. Javier’s lips move lower, seeking out the mounds of your breasts. His fingers hook into the front of your tanktop, tugging at it to expose more for him to mouth at. Switching between gentle kisses and urgent sucking, it doesn’t take long before your nipples are practically aching from the ministrations. His hands seem to be covering every part of your body, all at once. His touch feels hot even with your tanktop and flimsy shorts preventing him from going fully skin to skin. He’s so fucking clever with his hands, the slightest touch of those rough fingers enough to stir the desire in the pit of your belly. He’s taken the time to learn how to get your body to respond to him, how to coax a climax out of you. It was one of the things you first fell for. Not in a romantic way, but in a way that made you feel safe. Lots of guys would’ve been happy to get their fill and then leave. Not Javier. For him, your pleasure is as important as his own and when he discovered how you reacted to a press, a brush, a pinch he took note. He’s a zealot, the map to your pleasure his manifesto, his sacred text. The sparks left behind by each kiss, each touch, sends waves of joy running down your spine. You reach out to palm his bulge, feel him twitch beneath your hand. He pulls your shorts down, finds you bare beneath them. As well as the bruises left behind by Nathan. For a moment, Javier stills. You hold your breath, waiting for him to come back to the present. Javier shakes his head, growls. Then he surges forward, covering the bruised with his own hands and grinding his still denim clad bulge against your exposed core. The texture of it makes it almost painful, but only almost. You try to ride against the seam, try to get yourself off before he can decide that he wants to drag things out. Just as you think you’re reaching that peak, Javier’s hands lock around your forearms. 

“Turn for me,” he orders. With a whimper, you do as you’re told. To your surprise, Javier wastes no more time teasing. He simply bends you over the kitchen counter, and slams himself in.

You’d thought Nathan fucked you with zeal, which he did. But it’s nothing compared to what Javier is doing now. It’s as if he’s trying to consume you, or else crawl under your skin and become joined together forever. He finds your sweet spots, paying attention to them in turn. First, he grabs the back of your neck - the tips of his fingers lightly pressing until you moan for him. Then down your spine before sweeping around to grab at your hip bone and rubbing circles into it. Back up your front to cup first your left breast and then your right, giving each a squeeze. But it’s when he reaches down between your legs that the heat between your legs blossoms into something more. You jump at the first press of his thumb at your clit. Javier presses himself even closer to you then, locking you in between him and the counter. A few seconds of his digits swirling around your bud is all you need and then you’re falling apart. You scramble to find purchase against the counter, legs shaking - nearly caving - as he keeps thrusting into you. You hear the familiar sound of a groan, feel him grow taller between you as if he’s getting up on his toes and then he bursts inside you. Rope after rope of cum paints your inner walls, fills you to the brim. Javier doubles over, his chest pressed to your back.

“What do you think?” he breathes, his hips still shifting in a barely discernible pattern. “Am I forgiven yet?” You twist your head, press a kiss to full lips.

“Not yet,” you answer, equally out of breath. “But you’ll get there.”

#nffalphabet #javier peña fic #nathan cable summers fic #javier peña x f!reader #nathan cable summers x f!reader #narcos fic #deadpool movieverse fic

[orionares]

BTHB: Paralyzed by Fear

BTHB: Paralyzed by Fear

The Rookie

@badthingshappenbingo

—---------

A/N: Hope this counts!

—--------

"So we should probably..you know..talk about the elephant in the room. If we're going to sell that we are actually boyfriend and girlfriend, we might have to…uhm…you know…."

My God, if the 2018 version of himself could see him now.

The 2018 version of Tim Bradford would likely kick the front door open, file away the anger about the elements of a certain P2 all over his home and grab the currently panicking Sergeant by the collar and scream, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Oh, so many things, he'd tell his past self. Where do you want me to start?

Tim sits stretched out across his couch in the dark, hours after bolting from Lucy's apartment. He's replayed the kiss over and over, so much that he actually has a throbbing headache. 

I suggested practicing kissing before an operation, Tim concludes he'd tell his past self. An operation based on playing my doppelganger. Or my twin- who the hell knows.

"And I'm making up a scenario where I'd talk to myself," Tim states aloud. He groans loud enough for Kojo to lift his head an inch off the ground to briefly stare at him. Tim shakes his head and then shuts his eyes, likely as Kojo does. 

You losing your shit over a Boot? His past self would snap with a finger jammed at his chest. 

Rational question now as he's pulled a lot in the past 24 hours that his old self wouldn't.

Going undercover, as the complete opposite of everything he stands for. 

Suggesting practicing kissing Lucy, his old boot and arguably, his closest friend.

"Oh My God," Tim mutters before rolling onto his side. The clock on the wall flashes 4:19 A.M above an unopened air fryer Lucy had somehow talked him into.  She's everywhere in his life and house and crossing over the line for the job isn't helping. 

Again, you losing your shit over your ex-boot? His past self would ask him again. 

No, he is currently losing his shit over unknown feelings for Lucy while managing a girlfriend, being a Sergeant and well, existing at 4 in the morning. 

He is seesawing between pretending the kiss never happened and literally passing a note asking- Do you like me? Check yes or no. 

And he does not like that. 

"For God's sake, we'll just talk to her in the morning and get this squared away," Tim says aloud. The Sergeant shuts his eyes and fails to shake off the heaviness of him not only engaging in a hypothetical conversation with a past self but now talking to himself. 

He is screwed. 

—----------

Because both of them suck at communication, they don't talk about the kiss in the morning. 

Tim swerves the conversation a hard left back to the cover story and Lucy agrees. She's now pacing in the conference room, clearly in her element, spitting off a half a dozen ideas for the cover.

And all he can hear is that idiotic Disney song 'We don't talk about Bruno' in his head. Thank you, Genny, for that.

"What do you think?"

Tim fights the urge to literally wave off the song on its second loop in his head. He looks up to see Lucy staring down at him expectedly. "Huh?"

Lucy furrows her brow at him. "Were you not listening?"

No, I'm in the midst of hour twenty of losing my mind, he doesn't say. Instead, Tim rises to his feet and lies, "I was but….an idea- I- just give me a sec. I'll be right back."

Nailed it. 

Tim walks out of the conference as briskly as he can and walks until he ends up outside behind the station. He blows out a puff of air and leans forward, hands resting on his thighs. 

"What's wrong with you?"

Nyla Harper's voice brings a small smirk to his face. He lifts his head to see her standing next to the curb, hand resting on her stomach and trademark unimpressed expression on her face. 

"I'm fine," Tim lies. "Aren't you supposed to be on leave?"

"Came to pick up something which brings me back to my first question, "Nyla answers, "What is wrong with you? And don't say you are fine, Bradford. Even my unborn child knows that's a lie."

Tim pushes himself up into a stance and sighs, "It's this OP."

"The persona? Dim? The man who tried to high five every cop while in lock up?"

He rolls his eyes at the memory of his doppelganger rationalizing his need for high fives with, "My man's looking like me so that means we's all brothers!"

Idiot.

"No, it's actually, uhm-"

It's the uhm that gets Nyla to move. She steps closer to him, crosses her arms and probes, "What did you do?"

"I didnt-" He slumps his shoulders. The Tim of pre- kiss, pre- chaos would have already changed the subject twice and moved on. 

"Bradford, whatever you did-" Nyla holds up a hand as he opens his mouth. "Does it involve Chen? Yes or no?"

"Neither-" My God, get a hold of yourself, explodes in the back of his mind. The little voice isn't the same as 2018 Tim and wait, is he really, truly, trying to differentiate a made up voice in his head?

"TIM!"

 The Sergeant sighs loudly. "Chen and I were rehearsing our cover stories for the op and I suggested that-"

"You practice kissing," Nyla finishes again for him, deadpan. "And I'm guessing it got your panties in a bunch?"

“You are a ray of sunshine today.”

“And you are a hot mess.” She takes another step towards him and sighs loudly. “Look, Bradford- keep the nonsense that is you and Chen on lockdown,” she waves a hand at him, “Remember Dim and his two brain cells and Juicy likely do not have the nonsense that is you and Chen. Keep it seperate, get the job done and then figure it out before my maternity leave ends.”

Tim scoffs, “Thanks for the pep talk. If you want to call it that.”

“Suck it up buttercup?” Nyla turns and starts to walk away from the sergeant. “That’s a pep talk special.”

Pep talk special? 

Tim shakes his head and readies himself for either Lucy bursting through the back doors ready to probe or  another inane song popping in his head. 

Keep it seperate?  An easy seeming concept, the sergeant concludes. 

We can do that.

We can keep this separate. He concludes again as he returns to the conference room and lets Lucy bombard him with questions about his sudden disappearance and the nine more ideas she’s managed to accumulate in the seven minute absence.

And then Gray comes in with an update on the need for Dim and Juicy to pick up a shipment downtown. 

We can do this. 

—--------------

Being Dim and not a LAPD Sergeant losing his mind comes easier than he had figured. 

Di- Jake turns on the radio a few minutes before pulling into a parking garage in the city's Old Bank District. He's chill as Juicy sits in the passenger seat of a 2012 Honda Civic popping gum as the pair drive up to a lone white Ford truck.

The exchange is brief- a scrawny man, almost a doppelganger of Nolan's half- brother, tucks his hands in his pocket and rambles the details in one breath.

Bring ten kilos to Silverado, ninety minutes south of the city.

You back out, you die. 

All expected threats on an undercover op.

Jake maintains his chill as the scrawny man, Pocco, starts walking around the Civic, eyeing it suspiciously as if he's expecting a bomb or a million dollars and  Jake takes this with stride. 

Pocco suddenly stops in his tracks and pulls out a buzzing phone from his back pocket. The man mumbles something incoherent to the caller and then eyes 'Juicy' from head to toe with a stupid smirk. 

And with one stupid smirk, the line between Jake and Tim shatters.

He does not get to even think about my partner-

Well, technically, my ex- boot -

Well, I shouldn't call her a boot-

Lucy breaks through the monsoon of thoughts he's drowning in. "I 'ain't goin' with you. I'm ridin' with my baby."

Tim blinks before realizing his mouth is now hanging open. Lucy squeezes his arm a touch tighter than normal in an attempt to say - You with me?

No, he is not with her. If he could formulate sentences, he'd admit that he's still standing in Lucy's living room from the day before. 

Pocco eyes Tim suspiciously and steps towards the pair as if the younger man could take Tim on. "I heard you had a mouth on you. And that you were an idiot."

Lucy continues to take the lead and taps her finger as she snaps, "And he's my idiot. Can we do this?"

Pocco glares at Tim for one more second and then backs off with hands in the air. 

The address and other words are exchanged as Tim continues to stare blankly into space. He's overwhelmed, damn near paralyzed by the stupid what- ifs with the kiss, the implications of the next steps- hell, everything. 

He's afraid. What if this all ends in flames? What if-

"TIM!"

The Sergeant’s suddenly back in the Civic and now sitting cramped in the passenger seat. 

Somehow during his freeze-up, Lucy's not only managed to end the meeting, she's also managed to guide and stuff him into the car and drive off without him realizing it. She's  sitting in the driver's seat, grimacing as she speeds out of the garage.

 It's a definite change from the likely countless times she's sat where he sits now, trying to put thoughts together. 

My God, how the tables have turned. "Look-"

"Is this about the kiss?" Lucy asks. "I mean it has to because there is no other reason on the face of the Earth for you to meltdown in the middle of a case-"

Tim winces but remains speechless. 

"-And I knew that you claiming that you wanted to work on our backstory more was a cop out!" She makes a hard left towards the Skid Row neighborhood. "I should have called you on something being wrong. Tim!"

He shakes his head. "I know. You're right."

Lucy makes a sound that sounds like a squeak. "And you're agreeing with me which in itself is…..Tim, I seriously need you to use your words, I say this respectfully of course, I need to know-"

"I'm scared." It's a miracle his admission doesn't cause an accident- the car screeches to a halt luckily right at the intersection. 

Lucy's eyes are wide as she turns to him in disbelief. "What? You're what?"

Tim sighs loudly and slumps his shoulders. His mind is throbbing, so damn much. "Lucy, I'm scared that whatever happens next, I'm going to screw up.  With you, it's different, alright? And that terrifies me."

Lucy smiles warmly at Tim and for the first time in days, the tension headache and the litany of emotions finally ease. "I am also sleep deprived and hungry."

"And stepping out of your comfort zone," Lucy chuckles. Her face falls at the realization dawning on her. "We have to talk about this, don't we?"

"We do," Tim fidgets with his fingers, another red flag behavior for him in itself. He'll take it for now. "And when we do, be patient with me, alright?"

Lucy follows the traffic after the light turns green. "Look at you. Using your words and everything. Are you sure you aren't Dim?"

"Dim uses too many words." The pair smiles at the doppelganger who'd attempted to rationalize the drugs to Sergeant Gray as 'technically not a crime because I was doing a job like Uber'.

"Way too many words."

#bad things happen bingo #bad things bingo #the rookie #lucy chen #tim bradford #nyla harper #chenford

[tired-reader-writer]

I posted 14,446 times in 2022

That's 14,210 more posts than 2021!

272 posts created (2%)

14,174 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@prismatic-bell

@akhilleus-kosmos

@innerchorus

@jeweled-blue-eyes

@sanhatis-abyss

I tagged 1,626 of my posts in 2022

#arslan senki - 452 posts

#the heroic legend of arslan - 437 posts

#heroic legend of arslan - 313 posts

#wolfpack au - 165 posts

#winds of wolfsong - 162 posts

#isfan - 100 posts

#moriarty the patriot - 88 posts

#shapur - 86 posts

#yuukoku no moriarty - 78 posts

#arslan - 77 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#looking up recipe videos on foods i'll never even write in— just so i can get a better sense and feel of what the characters would've eaten

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Candidates For Isfan's Mother: A List™

See the full post

53 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

Oh this was a blast to write, I still remember how proud I was of it, and I still am very proud of it!

#4

How would y'all feel about a fic/AU where Ishval reclaims its independence? Where Ishvalans aren't shafted, their culture not depicted as savage or murdery? Where the Amestrian government and characters are called out?

59 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

Very guilty of not having posted much of Sunburst Sandstorm despite being very passionate about it— and also not finishing this WIP. Here's the progress I made on it so far though:

#3

Contemplating a facial scar of some kind for Arslan in the Wolfpack AU for a couple of reasons.

61 notes - Posted March 7, 2022

One of my very early AU posts! Not gonna lie, wasn't expecting this on the list.

#2

The way I'm still R E E L I N G from the absolute beast of a chapter that was chapter eight—

The way it made me feel breathless? As if all the air was knocked out of my goddamned lungs? The absolute emotional weight? The way every choice felt so heavy??

It's been hours since I finished R's route (have yet to get to everyone else, I'm rereading from chapter 1 to re-familiarize myself with the story) and I am still in a stunned sort of state— I need time to process it all holy shit

120 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

I still feel the same way about AToC and this chapter, bless cherry.

My #1 post of 2022

What if Iumaka literally named their son Araya though. Like, the exact name of the pseudo-deity they worship.

125 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

Oh man @innerchorus and I Went Off in the notes didn't we 😭 It was a blast and thanks for indulging me on my thoughts!

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #wait wtf why wasn't the edited version uploaded #TUMBLR????

[tayloranimesimp]

Demon slayer x other world reader

I haven't seen this anywhere so I decided to make one of my own

I've only made a few fanfics and none of them were demon slayer so bare with me

You where laying on your couch after a long day of work. You (Y/N) (L/N) age 24 finished college not to long ago and now live in a 2 floor house with 4 bedrooms and one office room, a kitchen, 5 bathrooms 1 located in each room with the exception of your office, and a living room. You were currently on your couch relaxing but not fore long considering the fact that you made plans to go out with your friends later..and you regret it.

Not to worry you have att least 4 hours.

You got your remote and turned on demon slayer. You where currently on episode 6 session 3 "hmm maybe I should wash and change. Yeah get all the important stuff out of the way then relax" you turn the TV up and get ready to take a shower.

(Y/N) POV

I was in the shower for no longer than 18 minutes before I hear Strange noises coming from the TV I decide to pay no mind to it since it's probably an advert that made its way on my screen "I'll worry about that later"

Im finished getting ready in no time and when I walk into the kitchen to get a snack and take it to the living room I look at the TV and noticed something strange.

'That wasn't the episode or even close to what I put on' I take the remote and read the episode but it reads

Error this fatigue is to not be observed by the naked eye please dispose of device its being broadcast on!

"There is no way I'm throwing my TV away it can't be that bad"why do I feel like I just jinxed myself?' I looked at what was on the TV and.. ..wha?

Muzan kibutsuji was surrounded by the hashiras each of them attempting to kill him though instead of killing them he seems to be taunting them like a 4yo child playing with its food but bloody and horrifyingly gorry

In the background there are some other demons fighting demon slayers

Riu,akaza,Doma,kokushibo,and kyogai can be seen fighting tanjiro,nezuko,zintezu,and inosuke on the screen.

'Didn't the drum demon die in the first season?' I open my phone and see the time "HOLLY SH!T ITS BEEN THAT LONG ALREADY?" I jump up on my feet and run to the door locking it behind me I forgot to turn the TV off oh well.

A Sean off muzan staring straight into the camera of the TV shot is shown and muzan starts walking towards it and stretches his hand out to it thus the TV screen starts to glow.

.

.

.

#kny #demon slayer #xreader #anime

[minouyujis]

monday | new message from: y/n

y/n: hiiiii i missed you so much!!!!

sukuna: What

y/n: do u wanna hear about my day?!?!!

sukuna: Don't care really

y/n: today was so BORING. so we had to cut the flowers because one of the seniors was allergic to them and it was such a hassle because there were too many! i mean come on bruh its all over the FIELD for a REASON!!!! T^T i really wish i was able to be there with u to finish up the homework

sukuna: Don't really need you to help me with anything

y/n: HAHA i know u enjoy my presence don't deny it kuna!!!

sukuna: Please don't call me that. I don't like you more than an acquaintance

y/n: ur not scaring me away!!!

y/n: i have to go back to work my break is ending, bye bye kuna!!!

Sukuna has read your message

tuesday | new message from: y/n

y/n: good morning!!! my birthday is soon i'm very excited!!!!

sukuna: Every birthday just shows we're getting closer to death

y/n: k

y/n: anyways

y/n: what r u planning on getting me? 😁😁🤞

sukuna: I know nothing about you except for where you work. Why would I get you anything

y/n: that will change TODAY because guess what??? im packing extra food today for lunch and someones gonna have to help me finish it *cough*

sukuna: If that's your way of asking me to eat lunch with you no thanks, idiotic girl

sukuna: I'd rather die of starvation than eat yours or your parents cooking

y/n: okay u can insult me all u want but i'm not allowing u to disrespect my parent

y/n: u can be such an ass sometimes

sukuna: Don't care

Y/n has read your message

thursday | new message from: y/n

y/n: sir.... i have done some thinking... and i think i would like to formally apologize AND i would also like to let u know that i accept ur apology

sukuna: You're always saying some bullshit

sukuna: I have not once apologized to you ever nor have I talked to you in the last 24 hours

sukuna: Also literally what are you saying sorry for

y/n: our argument we had on tuesday when u insulted my food 💔💔 don't tell me u forgot bestie

sukuna: What

sukuna: How was that even an argument lol

y/n: IT WAS BC I SAID IT WAS

sukuna: Ok

y/n: ok also out of curiosity and boredom....

sukuna: what

y/n: whats ur zodiac sign??

sukuna: Nope

y/n: WHAT

sukuna: I'm not answering that

y/n: well... can i at least know when is ur bday??

sukuna: I genuinely can't tell you that lol

y/n: FINE THEN!!!

y/n: ill tell u mines tho

y/n: its _________

sukuna: Don't care

y/n: the next time i see u im going to force u to tell me all of ur deepest darkest secrets *aka apparently ur BIRTHDAY out of all things jfc 😒* and u will have no choicd

sukuna: Choice*

y/n: WEEEWOOOWEEEWOOO GRAMMAR POLICE

sukuna: Dumb girl

y/n: GOODBYE KUNA!!! my boss is staring at me omg im gonna get fired im supposed to be watching the old ladies

Sukuna has read your message

friday | new message from: y/n

y/n: woah kuna!!!!! i had no idea u had a gf

sukuna: What are you even talking about

y/n: omggg don't lie i saw u eating lunch with that girl!!! shes so pretty

y/n: u looked so in love feeding her HAHAHHA

sukuna: Oh

sukuna: She's a friend

y/n: girlfriend***????

sukuna: Not really

y/n: oh ! idk i kinda see it haha

y/n: whats her name?!?!

sukuna: Suki

y/n: it kinda matches like urs, aw! u should totes hook up :D

sukuna: What's my relationship status to you? Mind your business

y/n: ur right. sorry!

y/n: text ya later!

Sukuna has read your messages

Y/n has notifications silenced

monday | new message from: sukuna

sukuna: Hey dumbass, homework is due and you aren't even in class yet. Hurry up

y/n: i feel sick today. its ok. i'll email it to teacher when i feel better

sukuna: Ok

Y/n has notifications silenced

wednesday | new message from: sukuna

sukuna: Still sick?

y/n: yea why

sukuna: Because I'm irritated that I had to finish up the homework without you. It's a team led project for a reason

y/n: srry my health comes first lol??

y/n: i'll help with the next assignment when i feel better

sukuna: No need. Suki asked me to team up with her

Y/n has read your message

friday | new message from: sukuna

sukuna: Happy birthday

y/n: thank u sukuna

sukuna: ......

sukuna: Kuna

y/n: ?

sukuna: Nvm

sukuna: You're welcome

Y/n has read your message

saturday | new message from: y/n

y/n: yoyre so annoyig i hatr yoy so much

y/n: hsshddss godd i cant nelive i felt likr thay

y/n: ur sctually so irritatig it makrz me so mad

sukuna: Can you not fucking blow up my phone at three in the morning?

sukuna: Why are you texting like a dumbass?

y/n: i cab texg peopld howveer i want you rude pinky bitch

y/n: u thibk ur soooo cooll becausr u have tattoos all over ur stupid face and arms ohh woweeee

sukuna: Are you drunk

y/n: shuf up dumb bitch

y/n: i hate you

sukuna: Ok

sukuna: Where are you

y/n: I'nmm not telling u!!! why wdo u care?? shoukdbf u be checkimg up on your gf

sukuna: You're such a child. She's not my girlfriend and if that's what you're mad over then I don't understand why you are and why it bothers you so much stupid girl

y/n: haaa i gurss he didbt get thd hint

y/n: i thoughy i was being obvious abotu how i felt about uou

y/n: whatevrr

y/n: i'm gobna go have fun, byr

sukuna: Can you send me your location or something fucking hell

y/n: no!!!!! Neverrrrr!!!!!

sukuna: Ok

sukuna: You're at Nobara's party aren't you

y/n: NO

y/n: shooooo ur such a bug hejejeheer

sukuna: I'm texting her

sukuna: And if your ass isn't outside waiting for me to grab you I swear to God I'll fucking drag you out of that party myself if I have to

y/n: grrrrr!!!!!!!!

sukuna: So damn foolish.

Y/n has read your message

sunday | new message from: sukuna

sukuna: I put your keys by your desk. If you're wondering how you're even back at home I drove you back. Idk what you were thinking but I don't have any type of romantic feelings for that girl, I only fed her because she wanted to try the food I was eating. I do apologize for neglecting how you felt about me. I only ever did it because I felt the same. It feels so stupid liking someone, let alone you. I don't like how it feels. I'm too used to being alone that I didn't want to let you get to my head. I understand if you want to distance yourself from me. But please, for the love of God, be careful when you drink. I hate seeing you cry. You look so stupid and dumb when you whine. I don't like it. I don't wanna be the reason you make those ugly faces. It'll fuck with my head. I've been meaning to give you the gift I got you for your birthday so I left it on your table. I hope you feel better, dumb girl.

authors note: the gift sukuna got her was a necklace that had his birth stone (zodiac stone) as the charm, while he got himself a matching one with her own birth stone. both necklaces had came out to be around almost three thousand dollars given that he made sure the chains were real. he made sure to remember every little thing she told him, including her zodiac

#jjk x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjkxreader #jjkxy/n #jjkxyou #jujutsukaisenxreader #jujutsukaisenxyou #jujutsukaisenxy/n #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #sukuna ryomen #ryomen #sukuna x reader #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #sukunaxreader #sukunaxyn #sukunaxyou #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna x y/n #anime #anime x reader #x reader #xreader

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

How do I prepare food for my snake?

I got a few questions about this, so I'm going to knock them out all at once!

This will specifically deal with preparing feeder rodents for snakes. No pictures of actual feeder mice will be included; I'll demonstrate how to hold the mouse but I'll be using one of my cat's toys instead. I'll still put this under a cut just in case. :)

Step 1: Determine the right size of feeder rodent for your snake. You want it to leave a slight bulge, but nothing crazy. For young snakes, about 10% of the snake's body weight is ideal. A good rule of thumb is a rodent no bigger than 1.5x the size of your snake's girthiest point. When in doubt, go smaller.

Step 2: Thaw the frozen rodent. My favored way to do this is to move the feeder from the freezer to the fridge the night before.

Step 3: Warm it up. I like to submerge the feeder in warm (not boiling hot) water. You don't want to cook it, you want to make it warm. Do not microwave it. I like the water method because years of rescuing snakes has hard-wired me to take any opportunity to hydrate my snakes further.

This isn't strictly necessary for species without heat-sensing pits, but I like to do it anyway out of courtesy. They wouldn't be eating cold food in the wild, I won't make them do it for me.

For snakes WITH heat pits, like ball pythons, try to get the food quite hot. Again, don't boil it, but you want it to feel warm to the touch. There will be a point when you think "ugh this is taking so long the snake's old enough to know what food looks like even if it's not hot" and that is the snake devil talking. Snakes with heat pits usually won't accept a meal unless it's hot.

Step 4: Additional preparations for picky eaters. If your snake is hesitant to take frozen food, you might have to make it more enticing. You'll want to bloody it up a bit. Take your feeding tongs and pinch the rodent's nose to make it a little bloody; this usually works. If that doesn't work, braining the rodent usually does. Just drive something sharp through the head, it's a little gross but it works a treat. You shouldn't have to do this after the first few times.

Step 5: Serve your snake their meal. Feed them at the same time as they would eat in the wild; if they're diurnal, feed during the day, if they're nocturnal, feed at night.

For constrictors, like pythons and boas, most snakes prefer to take their food from tongs. Never feed a snake without tongs; it's a good way to get bitten.

Get a nice pair of long metal tongs:

And hold them at the base of the blades, where it's thickest. You'll have the steadiest grasp and won't accidentally drop the rodent on your snake if you hold it in the same way you would a pencil.

My favorite way to offer the rodent to the snake is by holding it like this:

That way, it'll be easier for the snake to find the head and not try to eat their food sideways. They'll figure it out if they grab it wrong, I just like to make it easier.

But you can also present it like this:

I do this especially for snakes who have bad aim.

The tong method works best for snakes who want to see the mouse move a bit. Wiggle it around. Don't go nuts with it, just slow little movements. You want to convince the snake it's alive. In the hobby we call this the "zombie mouse dance" or the "dead rat boogie." (Just another reason people think snake people are weird I guess.)

For colubrids, many snakes will do better with drop-feeding, which is when you just leave their meal for them to find in their enclosure. Some hognoses especially hate the tongs with a passion and refuse to eat from them.

Do not move your snake from its enclosure to feed it. I promise, eating in their enclosure won't make them aggressive - that's a myth.

If your snake doesn't take their food right away, leave it in the enclosure overnight and see if it magically disappears. If it doesn't, no big deal - try again next week.

Step 5: give your snake time to digest! Don't handle them or bother them for at least 24 hours and ideally 48 hours after they eat.

And that's it! Follow these steps and you'll have a happy, well-fed snake!

#not a rating #pet snake advice #snake food

[solarwonux]

Illicit Affairs || Jeonghan 

lawyer!single father!jeonghan x laywer!f!reader x mentions of seungcheol x f!reader

w.c 9k (I WASN’T EXPECTING IT TO BE THIS LONG)

warnings: single father jeonghan, cheating, angst, cursing, smut, phone sex (kind off), Seungcheol is literally an asshole I’m sorry, fingering, slight oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex. (also I edited this in rush so I’m sorry for any mistakes)

note: Happy New Year, I decided to start this year off with a bang. Please enjoy I’m actually pretty proud of this one so let me know your thoughts. Also this is kind off a continuation of my other fic: In Another Life, so if you wish to know a little more about the relationship between Jeonghan and the reader be sure to check it out. If not enjoy :)

masterlist 

“Are you sure you don’t need a ride home?” 

Jeonghan came up beside you, rolling the small suitcase you had taken on your week long business trip beside you putting a gentle hand on top of your shoulder making you jump. “No it’s fine Seungcheol said he would pick me up.” You nodded grabbing the strap of your falling purse and placing it onto your shoulder again. “Bomi is waiting for you, so you should go home.” You smiled fishing your phone from your purse hoping to see the on my way text from your fiancé. Instead it sat empty with the picture of you and Seungcheol the day he proposed staring back at you.

“She’s staying at my mom’s. I won’t pick her up until morning.” Jeonghan quirked an eyebrow watching as you stared at your phone screen hopelessly. Your grip getting tighter and tighter each second that passes. “I can take you home, it's really no big deal.” He reassured and moved his hand away from your shoulder before stuffing it in the pocket of his long black coat. 

You ignored his offer unlocking your phone and clicking on the message app, revealing the thread of texts between you and Seungcheol. The last one he had sent before he ghosted you for the remainder of the week was that he loved you and that he would see you at the airport when you got back. That was on Wednesday, it was now Friday and he was nowhere to be found. With a deep sigh to keep yourself from growing frustrated you sent him a quick text asking him if he was on his way before locking up your phone again and throwing it into your purse. 

“I’m sure he’s stuck in traffic. I'll be fine, you should go home, you haven’t gotten any sleep because of the time differences.” You waved a hand dismissing all his offers before grabbing your suitcase handle and rolling it closer to your body. 

There was no doubt in your mind that something was wrong. That something had been seriously wrong for the past three months as Seungcheol started distancing himself from you more and more each passing day. You figured it was the stress of his new very taxing job as well as the wedding planning and the bi-monthly trips to the New York firm that Joshua had you and Jeonghan going too. You could only hope that it was just a small bump in the road. That’s everything would go back to normal now that you wouldn’t have to go on another one of these trips until February. 

“Last chance, take it or leave it I’ll even throw in a burger from that fast food place that you like.” Jeonghan winked, bumping your shoulder against his. “I know you’re hungry, you didn’t eat any of the airplane food.” His voice lowered with concern and your grip on your suitcase handle only got tighter.

He was right you were starving but you were looking forward to going to the 24-Hour diner by your and Seungcheol’s loft just like you had for the past three years whenever either one of you got back from a business trip. It had become some sort of tradition in your relationship, but now as you searched the crowd for your missing raven haired fiancé you weren’t sure if you even wanted the M&M pancakes the two of you always shared. Or the burger Jeonghan was offering because something was wrong and your gut was sending the warning flare signal all throughout your body. 

“Temping, but I’ll pass. Now go home before I call Joshua and beg him to let me switch partners again.” 

“You’ve been trying for five years darling, and look at where it’s gotten us.” He smirked, taking his hands out of his coat pocket and placing them on top of his suitcase handle. “But since its two in the morning and Joshua would murder us if you called him for such a trivial thing. I will leave, but I’ll stay close by just in case Seungcheol doesn’t show up.” 

You rolled your eyes before playfully shoving his shoulder causing him to stagger back dramatically, a scoff leaving his lips. “Yoon Jeonghan go home, I’m serious.” You crossed your arms in front of you as he raised his hands up in surrender. 

“Fine, but text me when you get home okay. I don’t like leaving you alone at this time at night.” 

“I’ll be fine, he’s just stuck in traffic.” You said. Jeonghan shook his head before turning around and waving you goodbye. His face full of concern as he started walking away, carefully dodging the small crowds of people that had gathered in reunion. You raised your hand and waved back until he disappeared out of the airport.

It was two in the morning, there couldn’t possibly be any traffic but it was the excuse you decided to go with because it was better than admitting the truth. Something was wrong and it terrified you knowing that you had an ideas as to what it was.

The second your apartment building came into view your stomach dropped. 

You had waited outside of the airport for thirty minutes. Texting Seungcheol repeatedly asking where he was. The last message he had sent to you on Wednesday haunted you as you read the words he had written over and over again whenever you sent him a new message.

I love you. 

The doubt slowly crept in as you shoveled the fallen snow around the concrete pavement with the toe of your boots. Did he still love you? 

For months, Seungcheol had been acting strange. His smile didn’t reach either side of his face, he didn’t laugh at your obscure little habits or antics. He didn’t look at you like you were the delicate flower amongst the sea of dead weeds. He was there with you, sharing the same roof but he wasn’t present in any sense of the word. Every time he came home he ignored you and went straight to shower or bed. He had started to pick fights with you more often. Before you left he had blown up on you in the middle of the night because you had left the bedroom window open. He had never once minded before because he knew you did it on purpose, so that when the two of you slept he would hold you closer than usual to keep you warm. 

Though instead of holding you close that night he had yelled at you and went to sleep on the couch. Leaving you alone with tears pooling in your eyes and in the cold. You had felt that exact way as you waited for your uber to arrive and now that you were standing in front of your apartment building, gripping your suitcase handle as you pathetically competed in a staring contest with the entrance. The gnawing in your stomach growing to the point where you felt nauseous.

You contemplated calling another uber and just have the driver keep you company as you settled your overflowing thoughts. Over thinking never got you anywhere you wanted. And right now your head was a pool of doubt consumed by all the scenarios you didn’t want. For your sake and his you hoped he had fallen asleep waiting for your plane to land because if any of the scenarios that were currently playing in your head ad you made your way into the building and towards the elevator; you knew you would never be able to recover it.

With a shaky finger you pressed the number four in the keypad, watching as the elevator doors closed, shutting you out from the outside world. In seconds when the same doors opened again, revealing the narrow hallway that led to your studio apartment, you’d finally know the truth. One you had been ignoring for months on end because you knew, no you hoped Seungcheol still loved you.

Maybe he still did. Maybe you were overreacting but you had this horrible habit at never trusting your gut when it was always right and something deep inside you was telling you that you were. That what you had perceived was happening was the truth and that now all you needed to do was rip it apart like a bandaid. Dwell in the pain for a while and then move on like it never happened. 

After all he had started to act like you didn’t exist anymore.

The elevator doors opened at an agonizing pace, the scene playing out almost too perfectly that it was nauseating. You didn’t even have to step out and walk a couple of steps to the right for you to see what was happening right in front of you. Seungcheol’s eyes bulged out of their sockets. His mouth falling agape before the doors could finish doing what they were meant to do and the anger inside of you built to the point you were sure fire was coming out of your ears.

You were right. 

In front of you stood Seungcheol with bags under his eyes, his hand encased with someone’s that wasn’t yours. She was pretty, prettier than you could ever be, but that wasn’t what had you fuming. It was the fact that she was here in your building, in your hallway. You wondered how many times she had been here before reliving this same scenario. You wondered how many times she sat on your couch pressed to his side? How many times had she laid in your bed underneath him? How many times she had used your bathroom along with your things after nights of utmost pleasure? Seungcheol was a good lover, you'd give him that much but he had always been a shitty liar so he had to have known that whatever fantasy world he was living in, would come to an unpleasant end.

“Excuse me.” You said gripping your suitcase handle until your knuckles turned white and walked past the lovely couple. You could feel the panic radiating out of Seungcheol’s pores and you tried to keep yourself from laughing the bitter laugh that was bubbling up in the back of your throat. The warning Jeonghan had given you three years ago when Soonyoung had first introduced you to Seungcheol hummed softly in the back of your mind as you approached your wretched apartment. 

“Be careful, he’s not someone that’s capable of love.” 

Your body had gone into autopilot the minute you stepped out of the elevator and entered the place you once called home. You didn’t notice the spent sheets lazily thrown in the overflowing laundry basket nor the messily knocked over wine bottles on the coffee table. Your main priority in your fevered state was to get as much as you could before Seungcheol came back with the excuses he came up with during the five minutes it took for the old elevator to reach the fourth floor. 

When the sound of the door shutting rang through the heavy air surrounding your old apartment you knew you had failed. You stopped dead in your tracks dropping the pile of clothes you had chaotically fished out of one of your dresser drawers and met Seungcheol’s unreadable expression. For some reason, even though you had a hole in your chest. You didn’t feel any sadness, just anger. Seungcheol’s indifference smugly painted across his face only made you boil inside. 

“What are you doing?” Seungcheol’s voice sounded richotteing of the plain walls and into your chest making the hole inside of you grow deeper. The two of you stood in the middle of the messy hallway. Clothes that didn’t belong you where all over the room in what seemed to be a hasty frenzy. It was like he had started to replace you already with someone who in his eyes was obviously better than in you every syllable of the word.

“That’s a stupid question Seungcheol.” You scoffed and leaned down to pick up the pile of clothes you had dropped. “I’m obviously not wanted here anymore so I’m leaving.” You rolled your eyes and walked past him bumping your shoulder against his, making him stagger back slightly. You reached the dining room table where you had sprawled open your suitcase and stuffed in the clothes in your arms before turning to face him. 

Your mind must have been playing tricks on you because you saw a small flash of fear dance around his irises before it was replaced with the same indifference you were met with before. “Don’t go, I can explain.” He closed the gap between the two of you. He raised his arms hesitating before putting his warm palms against your shoulders. The air in your lungs caught itself in the back of your throat when you felt the heaviness of his touch seep through the cotton of your winter coat. Now that it had been corrupted by the touch you had once burned brightly underneath, you wanted nothing more than to to peel it off as if it were your second skin. 

“Don’t touch me Seungcheol, I don’t want your excuses.” You spat out slapping his hands and walking past him. 

“She doesn’t mean anything to me please let’s just sit down and we can talk about it.” He voiced, the broken lint cracking through his poker face. He begged following you into the room. He cringed at his clothes hanging out from closed drawers, the unmade bed and the overpowering smell of roses that didn’t belong to you. 

You ignored him opening up another drawer grabbing everything that belonged to you and leaving behind everything that didn’t. “There’s nothing to talk about you cheated on me and probably have been for months now. The damage is done. End of story Seungcheol.”  You slammed the drawer shut and moved past him, he caught your arm forcing you to turn around at lightning speed. Water was now spilling down the corner of his eyes as he finally realized that the fantasy he had been living under was simply just a fantasy. That his reality was staring back at him with dull and broken eyes. 

It broke him.

You had hurt him in the same ways he had been hurting you. At least that’s what he told himself three months ago when you had left with Jeonghan to New York for work again. When he walked into the bar and met her three beers in. When he brought her home that night and all the other nights you were away. You were cheating too so why should he be the only to suffer if he could make you suffer the same he was. 

“Does it matter, you’ve been cheating on me longer than I have been on you.” He spat letting your arm go making you stagger. Your back hit the closet door as you stared at him in disbelief. You blinked rapidly making sure you had heard him right, a nervous laugh bubbling in the back of your throat. 

“I-I’m not and I have never cheated on you what the hell Seungcheol.” You clutched the few t-shirts you were holding against your chest, “Where is this coming from?” 

“Jeonghan, you’ve been seeing Jeonghan behind my back for months now.” He yelled making you flinch. He raised his arms before bringing them down and running his hands desperately through his jet black hair. “I’m not an idiot, I saw the texts where he told you that you couldn’t tell anyone your secret.” He sat down at the edge of the bed, head in his hands as he tugged at his roots. The weight of his illicit affair finally weighed heavy on his shoulders. 

You threw the shirts you were holding in his direction, missing him completely, “You are anidiot Seungcheol, I’ve never once kissed or slept with Jeonghan before. He just got divorced, his wife left him with a four year old. It’s none of your business but the big secret we kept was him taking his daughter to work when Joshua was out of town because she was sick.” You yelled, the anger you had felt for him earlier spilling out of your ears. “God, why didn’t you just come and talk to me about it, why did you have to go and ruin everything?” 

Revenge was never sweet and he was getting a taste of his own medicine. 

Seungcheol had fucked up he knew it the second his lips met the women he had met at the bar. Yet, he had somehow convinced himself that he was right all along. Now as he heard the sincerity spill out of your perfect lips he realized how wrong he had been for three months on end. He had ruined a future so sweet it gave him toothache whenever he thought about it and nothing he could say or do would fix the damage he had done. 

“I never want to see you again.” You whispered, bringing your hand up to your chest as you slowly removed the diamond ring from your ring finger, the last thing keeping you connected to him. He had made you a promise one you never saw him fullfilling.

Almost as if on instinct, Seunghceol raised his tear stained face. The panic ran through his once soft features as you placed the ring he had given you on top of the wooden dresser. It was over, he had known it the morning after he had sinned.

He’d have to endure the consequences of his actions by himself because you were two feet out the door with almost all of your belongings including his heart.

“I think the coffee machine is broken, again.” Jeonghan spoke as he walked into your shared office with two styrofoam cups, “I got us hot chocolate instead.” He boasted proudly as he set the steaming cup on top of your desk.

The moon had been larger than usual tonight, so, as Jeonghan honorably offered himself to go get the two of you some coffee from the machine in the employees lounge. You had taken it upon yourself to give your brain a well deserved break after hours of looking over the cases Joshua had given you and Jeonghan before he left earlier. 

Joshua was quite possibly the best boss you could ever ask for. He gave out paid vacations to all his favorite employees, which was all of them. And gave some of the best advice known to men. But he was also sneaky and did possibly everything in his power to keep you and Joenghan at the office after hours and alone. You weren’t sure what kind of game he was playing nor had you cared at first but after Jeonghan’s nasty divorce. His game became even more obvious. You had called him out on it one afternoon when it was just the two of you in the employee lounge. With a knowing smirk he had refuted your claim. Though when he walked out with a jump in his step and whistling an unfamiliar tune you knew you had been right and that he wasn’t going to stop his scheming any time soon.

His wingman tendencies became more heightened when he had noticed your missing engagement ring three days ago. Joshua had cornered you in his office before closing that night causing you to embarrassingly break down in one of his lounge chairs in front of his desk. Since then he had given you and Jeonghan an unbearable amount of work and it made you feel terrible.

Jeonghan had a four year old that needed all his undivided attention. Everyday Jeonghan would rush to pick her up from school, sometimes leaving work unfinished when he realized he was running a few minutes late. Most of the time he brought her back to the office when his mother or sister were too busy with their own lives to look after her for a few hours. She would end her days falling asleep in her uncomfortable school uniform on the couch of yours and Jeonghan’s office. He then would carefully move her to the couch in Soonyoung’s office so your baseless bickering wouldn’t disturb her peaceful slumber. When you brought up your concern to your lovely boss he had simply brushed it off because apparently Jeonghan didn’t mind. Though the miniscule stress lines breaking through Jeonghan’s face and the light bags under his eyes indicated otherwise. 

“You’re thinking again, is it Seungcheol. I know something happened because you haven’t been wearing your ring lately...and you haven’t complained once about working overtime...” Jeonghan’s voice sounded causing you to plant your feet back onto Earth’s surface. “you can tell me if anything’s wrong. Joshua’s usually the one with top tier advice but I can try my hand at it. So go on what stupid fight did the two of you get into this time?” He finished leaning back in his desk chair, arms crossed in front of him as he eyed you closely. 

“You should go home, I can finish up here. Bomi needs her bed...you need your bed.” You sighed swirling the steam from your hot chocolate over your index finger. Jeonghan was the only one who didn’t know about Seungcheol’s affair. It wasn’t like many people knew just your parents, Joshua and Soonyoung since you were staying over at his place for the time being. But Jeonghan didn’t know and you didn’t want him to know. He wasn’t the biggest fan of your ex fiance and he had warned you numerous times, but you didn’t listen.

After everything you had gone through an I told you so from your best friend would be the unpleasant cherry on top.

“Stop changing the subject. He’s been calling you non stop for hours and you’ve ignored him. I don’t really care about what happened because I’m sure it’s nothing, but your ringtone is driving me crazy.” He joked dramatically, picking up his own cup of vending machine hot chocolate and brought it up to his lips. 

You placed your palm on top of your cup, trapping in the steam. The heat danced around your cold palm warming you up before you officially turned to face your nosey partner in the crime. “I left him.” You breathed out. Jeonghan’s eyes grew wide as saucers as he uncrossed his arms and slowly rolled himself and his chair around his desk and towards yours. “He had been seeing someone else for months and I caught them the day we came back from New York.” 

“I knew I should’ve taken you home that night.” He grumbled placing both his hands on either side of your chair turning you to face him. Your panicked expression met his angry eyea causing chills to run up your spine. “He had been acting like an asshole lately and I knew something was wrong. I just told myself not to get involved because I knew it would piss you off, but now I wish I did.” He took your hands in his and placed them on top of your lap. You could feel him shaking and it reminded you of the day Bomi’s mother had left the two of them. The anger he was feeling now you had felt it then too. 

“Jeonghan it’s okay, it’s my fault I should’ve listened to you when you said he wasn’t a good person then and I should’ve said something the minute I suspected something was wrong. I was just too delusional living in my own world and planning my wedding that I was afraid of being right.” 

He gripped your hands tightly nd shook his head. “Don’t ever say that, it’s not your fault, he hurt you. He choose to fuck someone else not once but for months right?” You nodded biting your bottom lip hard enough to almost draw blood as an attempt to keep yourself from spilling tears. You had cried enough nights over Seungcheol. He didn’t deserve your tears nor your heartbreak. 

“He thought I was cheating on him with you.” 

Jeonghan chuckled, shaking his head before letting out a deep disappointing sigh. “Where are you staying, not with him right?” He laced your fingers with his and placed your hands on his lap. 

“With Soonyoung he lives the closest to my old place so I just ran to him.” 

“Soonyoung knew before me?” 

“And Joshua and my parents.” 

Jeonghan looked up towards the ceiling taking a deep breath. “How are your parents?”

“Dad wants to kill him, mom has been trying to calm him down the last few days before I move in with them for the time being.” 

“I knew I liked your dad for a reason. Might have to call him tomorrow so we can plan our crime.” Jeonghan smirked, trapping you and your chair between his legs. The last time the two of you had been this close was when he had cried in your arms on yours and Seungcheol’s couch, after he came home to find Bomi alone in her room with divorce papers on her dresser and all of his ex wife’s belongings gone. It had made your heart race then but you had blamed it on your anger. Now as you stared into his warm eyes with your heart against the base of your throat you thought that maybe you had been wrong then.

“And mom and I will hold the two of you back, if not we won’t be visiting you guys in jail.” 

“I won’t go to jail. I’m a hot shot lawyer, haven’t lost a case yet I think I can represent myself and your dad and win.” He winked. He had started to lean in closer. The sensation of thumbs running soothingly across the palm of your hands didn’t help your beating heart. 

“Maybe this is the case that will finally bring you back down to Earth.” You shoved him lightly as an effort to make space between the two of you. Your efforts were deemed as unsuccessful as he didn’t budge. 

You and Jeonghan silently stared at each other and you hoped he couldn’t hear the hitches in your breathing. Slowly, he leaned in and before you could process what was happening his lips were on yours catching you by surprise. He moved them slowly, warming you up until you finally caved in and kissed him back. He smiled letting go of your hands and placed them on top of your knees, trailing them up your thighs until they found purchase against your hips and brought you close. He stopped kissing you for a second, giving you the choice to stop but when you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him close, kissing him feverishly, he responded with the same amount of heat you were giving him. 

Year’s ago at an old musty bar in New York, Jeonghan had confessed that he had once harbored deep feelings for you. It was also the day you found out he was engaged to Bomi’s mom and the day you choose to push your feelings for him aside and move on. Tonight, those dormant feelings returned, along with the fire that accompanied them. You were desperate and needy to act up on them and now that you could, you didn’t want to stop. The feeling of his long crooked fingers traveling up thighs and pushing the fabric of your cream colored sweater dress up with them, made you want him more.

“W-Why...did you wear tights today?” He groaned and whispered against your lips making you giggle. He rested his hands against your butt, giving it an experimental squeeze before guiding you onto his lap. 

“It’s winter, I don’t want to die of frostbite.”  You smiled down at him before pecking his lips repeatedly. Your body had gone untouched for months but it felt like it was burning brightly underneath the light of the moonlight.

“I can just keep you warm.” He winked one of his hands traveling to the front of your body. His finger teasingly playing with the hem of your black sheer tights, itching to make you feel loved and beautiful just like you deserved. 

You shook your head at his innuendo before leaning down to kiss him again. Just when your lips were about to connect with his, Seungcheol’s ringtone started ringing. Jeonghan groaned in annoyance. “I told you your ringtone was annoying me.” The arm balacinging you on his lap pulled you closer. He attached his lips on to your neck again, biting down on your earlobe, a tiny almost inaudible moan escaped your lips. He let go of the hem of your leggings, the band slightly ricochetting of your skin making you suck in a breath. He retreated his lips and smirked before leaning over your body and grabbing your ringing phone, Seungcheol’s contact name blinking on the screen of your home page.

“Answer him angel.” He said handing you your phone before pecking your lips lightly. 

“W-What.” You took your phone in your hands and stared down at Seungcheol’s smiling face. 

“You said he thought we were seeing each other behind his back. Why don’t we prove his theory sweetheart.” Jeonghan took your phone and pressed the answer button an evil glint glimmering behind his eyes, “this way I don’t have to commit murder.” 

“B-Baby I’m sorry for what I did and for what I said this morning p-please come home.” Seungcheol’s desperate voice came in through the speaker of your phone. Jeonghan sat back smugly holding on to you tightly as he urged you to speak. 

You swallowed thickly before opening your mouth, his mouth coming into contact with your cheek while he slowly raised your dress. “I-I’m not coming back Seungcheol, you fucked up.” Your arm around his neck loosened up. He brought your dress over head and threw it off to the side.

“I-I know, I-I know but I love you so much. I promise it won’t happen again just please come h-home.” Seungcheol’s voice breaks at the end making Jeonghan roll his eyes. There was not a doubt in your mind that Seungcheol was being as honest as he could be but he had broken your trust. He had chosen to sleep with someone in your shared home on your shared bed instead of sharing his falsely created suspicions with you.

“Cheol, I’m sorry,” Jeonghan’s hand trailed up your bare back and unhooked your bra. A small inaudible gasp left your mouth at the feeling of your freed your breasts, his mouth watering as his need to please grew. “I-I don’t trust you anymore.” He wrapped his lips around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it slowly. Your phone fell from your hand and onto your laps. You arched your back, pulling his head closer, your fingers hastily finding the top button of his dress shirt. Seungcheol was long forgotten as you quickly unbuttoned Jeonghan’s shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. The smoothness of his heated skin, underneath your palms made you desperate to feel more of him against you. 

“I’ll do anything I just need you to come back, you’re my everything.” Seungcheol all but begged as Jeonghan released your nipple and grabbed your phone from where it had fallen. He placed it on our desk before standing up and sitting you on top of it. He leaned down running his tongue over the shell of your ear, giving your temple a slight kiss, “keep talking to him angel, let him know I’m here that he lost the best thing he could ever have.” He whispered before leaving kisses down your body and pushing your legs open. 

Seungcheol was rambling but you were so focused and in tune with how soft Jeonghan’s lips and hands felt against your body that you had forgotten about him.

Jeonghan kneeled down in front of you, sending you a wink before grabbing the crotch of your tights and ripping it apart, “Jeonghan what the fuck?” You yelled and lightly flicked his forehead making him laugh.

Seungcheol stopped his incoherent rambling “Jeonghan is there?” The venom laced in his voice was prominent which only made Jeonghan laugh making his presence obvious and known. They were friends once, had gone to school and law school together. Had even talked about opening up their own law firm together after graduation. But Seungcheol had betrayed Jeonghan in ways you didn’t know as neither of them liked to talk about it. They had only tolerated each other because of back when Seungcheol was still your fiance and Jeonghan was only your coworker. Obviously that line had been crossed tonight the second you opened your mouth and Jeonghan’s hands found yours. 

“Umm, I mean Joshua left us a lot of paperwork so we--” 

“I’m going to make love to her and treat her the way she deserves to be treated.” Jeonghan spoke, cutting you off. He stood up, his hands planted in between your legs. He sent you a knowing look before moving your panties to the side. His index finger moved up your slit, a sound of approval left his mouth when he felt how wet you were. “She’s so wet, I bet if I wanted I could just slip right in and she’d be so tight around me.” 

“Jeonghan, mmh...stop.” You parted your legs further, going against your own words. There was just something about having Seungcheol on the other side of the line as someone else had their hands all over your body that turned you on even more. Maybe it was some sick form of revenge, but you were ready to succumb to Jeonghan completely if he continued to touch in the way you had been craving for months now. The vibrator he had jokingly gotten for you as your secret santa gift three years ago, had not been enough. You needed more. 

“I don’t think you want me to angel,” he inserted his finger inside of you. A choked moan left your parted lips as you arched your back. “It’s a shame you fucked up Seungcheol, I bet she looks so pretty when she cums.” 

“I was right. I knew you were cheating on me with Jeonghan. You’re a fucking li-” 

“Actually this is the first time we’ve ever stepped over our boundaries. She was telling you the truth...you’re just an idiot.” Jeonghan moved his finger inside of you slowly. He felt around your velvet walls teasingly before inserting a second finger, stretching you out a little further. Opening you up for him. “Isn’t that right angel?” He raised an eyebrow before picking up the pace of his fingers. You gripped his arms, digging your nails into his skin as you felt the slight pleasurable pain course throughout your body. 

“Y-Yes, mmh...fuck Jeonghan, yes.” You bucked your hips against the palm of his hand. Your clit lightly brushes up against ot making your body jolt, as his pace and your pleasure increased.

“I-Is this why you r-refuse to fight for us, because you want to be a slut and fuck Jeonghan without feeling guilty.” Seungcheol scoffed and Jeonghan rolled his eyes. The coil in the pit of your stomach tightened up and you found yourself getting lost in the delicious pleasure Jeonghan was giving you rather than Seungcheol’s words. The moment you walked out on him he stopped mattering and you couldn’t be happier. Especially if the outcome was with Jeonghan and Bomi. 

“Are you close baby? Are you going to cum for me so Seungcheol hears how good I make you feel? Jeonghan rolled his palm against your hardened nipple, his thumb circle around your clit adding to the pleasure his fingers were giving you.

“Fuck, y-yes...I’m going to come for you Jeonghan.” Your fingers threatened to break the surface of his skin and with one final thrust of his fingers you gonat came around then moaning out his name. He helped you ride out your orgasm mumbling praises against the crown of your head. Before taking out his glistening fingers making you whine. He raised fhem up to his lips and wrapped his tongue around them sensually, sucking them clean. 

You were panting, your chest heaving against his as you tried to catch your breath again. “Choi Seungcheol are you still there?” Jeonghan asked, making you roll your eyes, you buried your head in his chest, running your down the smoothness of your back. “She looks like a fucked out work of art right now and I’m not even done with her yet.”

“Whatever, I hope you enjoy my sloppy seconds, she’s incapable of being loved anyway.” Seungcheol’s words tugged at your heartstrings and you could feel the anger radiating from Jeonghan's heated body. 

“Fuck you Seungcheol.” 

Jeonghan carefully laid you down on the couch of your shared office, peppering kisses down your body. After Seungcheol hung up, an overwhelming and heavy silence surrounded the two of you.

“Do you regret it?” He buried his head into your neck. His hands that had devilishly devoured your body five minutes ago, hoovered over your lower back. His voice small, trapped in the back of his throat as he melted in your arms. 

“Leaving him?” You questioned and moved your fingers down the smoothness of his back. “I don’t, I don’t regret leaving him.”  

“No that,” He raised his head. His gaze burning intensely in yours, “me touching you do you...do you regret it?” Jeonghan finally touched you again, his cold touch sent shivers up your spine. He smiled tugging a strand of hair behind your ear, his thumb running over your earlobe gently before resting them against your cheek.

“No, I don’t regret it whatsoever.” 

“Good because I don’t want to stop touching you.” He closed the tiny gap between the two of you and kissed you gently. He ran his hands down the side of your body before hooking his thumbs underneath your torn tights. You giggled against his lips remembering how he had impatiently torn them. He leaned back against heels and helped you remove them before tossing them elsewhere. You leaned up against your elbows, watching as he lustfully moved his hands up your legs slowly. 

“I meant what I said, I’m going to treat you like the angel you are.” He whispered and took off your black laced panties throwing them behind him. He held your legs open before kneeling in between them “You’re beautiful.” He whispered leaving kisses up your thighs, stopping in front of your pussy. “I’m going to devour you.” He mumbled before running his tongue up your slit. You moaned arching your back, your nipples getting harder against the cool air of your office. 

“Jeonghan, w-wait.” You mumbled getting lost in the way his tongue moved against you, “no one’s ever done this before.” You confessed, threading your fingers with his dark locks pulling him closer. 

He looked up at you, wrapping his arms around your thigh and brought you closer to his mouth. He moaned, wrapping his lips around your clit, sucking harshly. His gaze found yours, the way you were looking at him, overcome by pleasure, made his heart sore.

He sucked, humming when your hips started bucking against his mouth indicating that your orgasm was nearing. If he could he would’ve stayed in between your legs for hours, especially after finding out that no one had ever given in to you the way he currently was, but his cock was straining against his slacks begging to be inside of you, so, he pulled away. A frustrated sigh running past your lips. 

“Why’d you stop?” You questioned sitting up on your elbows before teasingly running your palm down his chest. Your eyes caught sight of his bulge making your pussy clench over nothing. “Do you want to stop?” You sat up and played with his belt buckle, slowly unlooping it as you waited for his answer.

“I’d be crazy if I did.” He watched as you popped open the button of his slacks. Without a warning your hand found its way inside his boxers and wrapped around his length. Jeonghan’s body grew frigid as your hand slowly moved against him, his breath caught itself at the back of his throat, his body growing hot with pleasure. “Angel, I want to...fuck, I want to play a little longer but I need to be inside of you.” 

“Do you have a condom?” You kissed his neck, sucking hard enough to leave your mark, smirking against his skin knowing how the office will react tomorrow morning. The many questions he would be bombarded with.

“Fuck, I don’t angel. We can stop here, it's okay,” he threw his head back as your lips moved down his chest and your warm hand moved against him. 

“No. I trust you. I don’t want to stop.” You wrapped your lips around his nipple causing him to moan.Your hand stopped moving against him and tugged on his pants, signaling for him to take them off. 

“Are you sure?” He stood up, kicking his dress shoes off before pushing his slacks and boxers down, leaving him naked in all his glory in front of you. He looked beautiful, the milky white light of the moon filtering through your giant window made him look like had been sculpted by the heaven’s. His cock sat against his stomach, the precum slowly leaking out and your mouth watered, but just like him you needed to finally feel him stretch you out. So you pushed the thought to the side and laid down opening your legs further, inviting him. 

“Jeonghan, make love to me please. Make me scream out your name and forget about any other asshole that has used me in the past. I want to be yours only.” You said moved your hands up your body slowly before they found your breasts. You pinched your nipples gently moaning out his name in the process. 

Jeonghan had never seen or heard anything as beautiful as to what he was witnessing right now. He hoped that this wouldn’t be a one time thing, that he could finally love you the way he had been itching to do so. Otherwise working alongside you would be a lot more awkward now that the two of you had crossed into dangerous territory. So, he kneeled in front of you again, leaning his naked body against yours, feeling your hard nipples rub against his naked chest as he leaned down and kissed you slowly. The passion spewing out of your connected lips. This was better than what he had ever imagined. 

“You’re beautiful, I’m going to make you mine tonight and forever.” He mumbled before pulling away and snaking a hand down your connected bodies. He wrapped his fingers around his cock, spreading the precum around his angry head before looking at you. Slowly, he ran his head up your slit and stopped searching your face.

“God, you take forever. Just fuck me, Jeonghan please.” You smiled nodding your head pushing his hair away from his forehead. 

“I’m just trying to take everything in, I’ve pictured this moment many times over the years and I need to make sure it's real.” He winked and slowly pushed himself in. Your mouth fell agape, his moans sounded beautiful as he kept pushing inside of you before bottoming out. “T-Tell me when I can move.” He leaned down capturing your lips in another slow and sensual kiss. His kisses were otherworldly and addicting.

“F-Fuck Jeonghan move please.” Your hands fell down his back as you pushed him closer. The pain of him stretching you out hadn’t subsided entirely but you were desperate with need. 

“As you wish my angel.” He pecked your lips one last time before kissing your check and burying his face in the crock of your neck. His body was overwhelmed as he slowly started moving his hips against yours. The way he had fit so snuggly inside of you was driving him crazy and he hoped he would last a lot longer than what his body was telling him. Though with the way you had started to deliciously clench around him, he was positive you were riding the same boat as him. There would be other opportunities where he could shower you with ten times more love and take it as slow as he wanted. But right now was not the time, years of pent up sexual frustration between the two of you was oozing out of your pores and threatening to spill. 

“I-I don’t want to cum yet but I don’t think I can hold off anymore.” You whispered, moving your hand down his back and further pushing his hips into yours. His thrusts had started out slow, but the more he lost himself in your body the sloppier they got. Your pants and moans bounced off the four walls of your shared office, thankfully no one was around to hear how desperate the two of you were for each other. 

“Me too.” He grunted and raised his body. He gripped your waist tightly and started thrusting even harder into you. “W-Where do you want me to cum?” He threw his head back getting lost in sensation of your pussy clenching around him. Your second orgasm threatened to spill over the harder he fucked you into the leather sofa. 

“I-Inside me. I want you to fill be up...mmmh, f-fuck please.” You arched your back digging your nails into his hips as your orgasm broke. Your body convulsed, hips cantaning up as he continued to piston his cock into you. Your name breathly spilling out of his lips as his own orgasm overtook his body. His warm milky seed covering your walls, making you moan out his name like an incantation. 

The two of you rode out your orgasms. The fear of being separated seeping into your pores as he finally let his body go slump over yours. His face contorting in pleasure while your pussy continued to milk out of everything he provided you. Your chests raised slowly against each other, while reality finally seeped in. You had just fucked the man of your dreams in your office and silently you wondered why you had wasted your time hating him for years. While he silently loved you from afar, until you were too late.

“So much for finishing our paperwork.” Jeonghan broke the silence making you laugh. His head was against your sweaty chest, his thumb painting invisible pictures against your hips. 

“You’ve just given me the best orgasm, possibly ever, and all you can think about is paperwork.” You joked, wrapping your leg around his waist. His cock twitching inside of you. 

“I’m thinking about other things. I just wanted to state the obvious before I have you screaming my name again.” 

“Mhm, I see.” You kissed his forehead and ran your index finger over his tired face. You knew he hadn’t been sleeping for days and as much as you wanted him to stay buried inside of you until morning. Another reality check crushed your fantasies. He needed to take him and his daughter, who was soundly sleeping in the office down the hall, home. “I’d love to Jeonghan, bu-”

“Do you regret it, p-please tell me you don’t” His pleading eyes found yours and you could’ve sworn your heart had flipped over how cute he looked right now. 

“Let me finish talking first before you start jumping in to conclusions.” You kissed his forehead lightly, your index finger stopped moving against his face and you wrapped your arm around his neck pulling him closer then what he had already been. “I don’t regret anything but you need to take Bomi home and you need to sleep.” 

“Then come home with me. I promise all we will do is sleep, but I want to wake up next to you and I want to make for lost time. Plus Bomi would be so excited when she wakes up and finds out you’re taking her to school with me.” He beamed and you felt the tears start to well up in the corner of your eyes. Jeonghan’s daughter was quite possibly the sweetest little thing in the entire world and each time you remembered what her mother had done to her and the man who was basking in the afterglow of your desperate love making. You would be hit with an overwhelming sense of anger. 

“Jeonghan I want too, but we can’t be moving too fast. I want to be with you but I also need time to recover from what Seungcheol did to me, especially if Bomi is involved. I want to be there for you and her, but I can’t, knowing I’m not strong enough yet.” You sighed, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at baby. When they had started to fall Jeonghan leaned in and kissed every single one of them away. 

“Okay, the ball is in your court angel, I’ll go at your pace.” He grinned, you could tell he was slightly disappointed but the fact that he had given you the upper hand made your heart swell up with love. 

“Thank you Jeonghan.” 

“It’s no problem, Seungcheol was wrong, you’re more than capable of being loved and I will spend every waking moment from here on out proving to you how wrong he had been and if I have to wait for you to get over what that asshole did to you. Then I will. Even if it means waiting another lifetime for you angel. I would wait for that one and the next one until you’re ready to let me love you the way you should be loved.”

#kpopscape #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fanfic #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen smut #seventeen angst #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan fanfiction #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan smut #jeonghan angst

[slashingdisneypasta]

Greasy Weasel x Reader || Oneshot

Title: Lottie

Notes:

Pay no mind to the title- its just an homage to the original piece this is inspired by/for, for my own happiness ^^

So this is an experiment XD I don't think I got Greasy's character quite right (Even if it IS supposed to build on what little info we have) but I like it... sorta... I like the first bit, anyway XD

Plot: Greasy has known you nearly your whole life (Since you were left on the Toon Patrol's doorstep, anyway, with a note that said you belonged to Smart Ass), he raised you- but what happens between the two of you when you return from the Navy 4 years after shipping off cannot be constituted as platonic, in any way.

Warnings: Age difference, Dads friend/Friends kid (NOT pedophilia, Reader is like 24 in this and there were no feelings from his end until now), possible sexual references (I mean its Greasy so what do you expect), etc.

Glaring over your salad, which you play irritated with with your fork, as you lean back in your chair. "Greasy can we talk, in the hallway?" The fury is coursing through you right now, like the goddamn Nile. Where does he even get off saying stuff like this? He is in no position...

He must- he m u s t detect the absolute blood lust in your eyes as he takes a break from leaning on Chase, to you. But look ashamed at all, he does not as he shrugs - but does not speak. A tell tale sign that he's just as, if not more frustrated in the moment and as such, is so not in the mood to get berated, - and gets out his seat; heading for the hallway.

You watch him go with glaring eyes, not moving an inch, before looking at the rest of the table including Chase and taking a breath. Calm down Y/N, keep the anger to yourself... until you talk to Greasy, at least.

"Sorry about this guys, and Dad... " Your gaze flickers the the hallways door and you hop out of your seat, itching to tear into Greasy for his behaviour tonight, and the past couple days actually. "I'll be right back."

You pass your father on your way out, sitting in a recliner chair with earmuffs over his head to block out his family for a while.

As soon as you reach Greasy at the end of the hall, your face twists into a total scowl; all inhibitions and constraints disappearing.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

"I do not know what you mean, bonita." He mumbles around his grit teeth, arms crossed and resistant. You clench your fists, totally frustrated. Bitter, spiteful, awful man!

"The hell you don't. What was all that!? You've been acting like this since I got home! If you didn't want me back here, then you could've just said it! Woulda hurt a hell of a lot less then this."

At least at that, his shoulders relax for a moment- but his expression does not soften. And neither does the steel in either his eyes or his voice when he yells back, throwing an arm out to express his anger. "It isn't that I didn't want you back home, Y/N, its that you brought some inválido, with you! I did not expect that, from you!"

"Chase is not invalid- " You gasp, horrified at the way Greasy is speaking. Where is all the disgust, coming from? Greasy isn't like this, normally... in fact, you don't think you've ever seen him this senselessly an ass. Why!? "And you say that like its some mortal sin! I brought a boy home, I didn't kill someone- which you would not have the high ground over, either!"

"This was supposed to be family time! You've been gone for years and the first nights you're back, its with some chico!? He must mean a maldito mucho to you for you to possibly think he's worth hanging around with us right now."

"First of all, he does mean a lot to me. He's my friend- " Under his hat, you see Greasy's eyes deeply roll- a huff coming out of him as he tightly crosses his arms again. Like yeah right- "No, no. He is. Shut up. And second of all- if you just wanted to be with family then you could have just said! That doesn't excuse your behaviour." You glare ferociously, waiting for the real reason. Is he drunk, or something?? Honest to god you are baffled by the way he's acting- he's usually cooler then this. Out of any of your father's gang, he was the one you never really had to worry about. His antics made you laugh- but this? This makes you want to cry. Or scream.

You've gone for the second option.

"He does not see you as just a friend." He mutters back petulantly, avoiding looking at you now; Pulling his fedora down more over his face.

"So what!?" Even if he does, why would that make Greasy so mad? You cross your own arms. "You aren't my father and its is not your job to protect my 'chastity', Greasy."

He suddenly goes quiet, though the wrath from before is still clear in way his jaw is clenched. "... I know I'm not your father... " He mutters.

Something about that phrase stumps you. Of course he knows, but why does he look so ashamed? You uncross your arms, and take a deep breath.

"... Okay." Your eyes flash, looking up at him again; Anger still not sated. "Then why are you acting insane and harassing my guest!?"

A growl rips out of him and he bumps the brim of his hat upwards so he can look at you again, right in the eye. "I told you, I don't like that you brought him into this house!- "

"That's not it!" Its not. He's acting crazy about a boy who's acting absolutely lovely and polite. Its not.

You just want him to tell you what it really is that you did. You don't want to keep fighting with him, not with Greasy. You want your silly, campy, perverted Greasy back. Not this rotten version in front of you right now.

"It is!"

You press your fists brattily to your hips. "Is not!"

He bares his teeth and leans forward. "Is!"

"Not!-"

And then all the tension comes to a head, and something absolutely mad happens.

The first thing that you notice is the smell of his stupid expensive perfume filling your nostrils and embracing you, then your your hands curled tightly around the lapels of his suit, and finally the feeling of warmth and tingliness all over your body.

Because you're kissing Greasy.

Your perverted Greasy, one of your fathers best friends, one of the men that raised you, your teenage crush. Your kissing him on the lips and he's slowly reciprocating, his mouth moving carefully, but purposefully against your as he moves his body closer.

But there's anger, too. Your teeth are going to ache when you pull back for pressing into the kiss too hard and the tips of your fingers will pang when you let go of him but not quite yet-

Two sets of lips part and Greasy does this thing with his tongue that tears a long overdue moan out of you, and immediately he rears back like he was burnt. And you're left standing there cold again, completely shocked.

And aroused.

But mainly shocked, because you never expected that to happen but it did and now what are you both going to do?

The air is absolutely silent as you both catch your breaths, from the kiss and also from the fight, and hope your hearts stop beating quite so erratically very soon so you can act normal.

Then, because you've waited for this for too long and the moment is too good to pass up, you step over and kiss him again.

And he kisses you back, like he's totally unable to help himself from kissing you.

All the frustrations and tensions of the past few weeks go into it oh my god- you never expected Greasy to be able to kiss totally well, but it certainly does the trick as it has you holding onto him like your life depends on it, chasing your own pleasure but also experimenting- trying to drag pleasant reactions from him. See what he likes, make him moan.

Between kisses, he mutters 'Cariño... ' warningly, carefully. Like he knows he should stop but you're too good.

When you both finally pull back again minutes later, you're both wide eyed again though far less shocked about your actions, then before.

More scared.

"Don't tell Dad."

___REWIND: A FEW DAYS AGO WHEN YOU GOT HOME___

"Guys!" You scream, the moment your eyes land on the familiar group at the docks, utter excitement fills you up and you almost want to cry as you drop your bags with your friend in order to rush over to your family and throw your arms around the first man you reach- Stupid. "I missed you. I missed you, I missed you so much!!" You squeeze him, the familiar soft, worn feel of his shirt rubbing on your face as you cant help but smile.

"Duhh, Y/N!! We brought you (Favourite snack)!" Stupid informs above you, but squeezes you back in a moment, a happy whine escaping him at having you back there with him. And your hugs.

"Ohhh," Now you really want to cry. You're so overwhelmingly happy to be home and to see them again- and they brought you food. "Now that's what I came home for... " You joke, giggling a little bit tearily before pulling back and almost running in to Psycho, who holds up the snack.

You just wrap him up in a quick, tight hug. As always he's the warmest- like a lizard who's been sitting out on a hot rock for hours.

Next you find your father standing expectantly for you, fake annoyed that you didn't come to him first. "Hey, kid. Yeah, I told 'em you'd be none-too happy to see us if we didn't have your damn food. But this is some reception, for a regular pack."

"Hey, Dad." Your voice comes out wobbly and weak but in a good way, as he takes you up in his skinny arms and pink suit holding your head the way fathers do; Like someone with a bat is coming up behind you but he doesn't want you to know and there's no way in hell, that you're about to get hurt on his watch. "I missed you so much."

He sighs, and grumbles something about feelings, before burning his head down into the hug. "I missed you more kiddo."

After you father curtly lets you go, nodding stiffly at you as if it would save him his tough guy reputation, your attention is stolen by a familiar rusty, painful sounding voice. "Hey there, chickadee. No hello for me?"

"Wheezy!" You exclaim, thrilled. He holds up his hands.

"I wont take it personal if you don't wanna a hug me- wouldn't wanna get all smelly."

You roll your eyes, grinning. "Whenever have I ever cared about that."

"Hm." He grins, and you too hug warmly for a moment then you pull back and greet the last of your boys.

"Bonita, its good to see you of course. Nice to see you got into such good shape over seas- almost as good as me." Greasy grins sharply, before you two collide excitedly, so happy to see each other again and you press a quick kiss to his cheek. You picked up the habit when you had a crush on him, in your teenage years. Now its just routine. Yours and Greasy's thing together.

You squeeze his arms one last time, before letting go. "Oh, guys- " Sniffling, all teary and happy, you hide your face and pull yourself together. "Ahh... I'm sorry." Greasy pats your shoulder, as they all chuckle at your show of emotion- not that they're doing hugely better. Psycho blows his nose into his sleeve, teary himself.

Your Dad, although honestly as happy and serene as he can possibly be, with his hands in his pockets and his little baby back, glances off to your luggage still laying amongst bustling travellers a few metres away and the corners of his lips tilt down. "Boys- go get Y/N's stuff. I don't want it gettin' stolen."

Finally, you pull yourself together. "I brought someone I want you to meet! My friend Chase, he's- he's only stopping off here before moving on to his home further inland. And I was hoping he could have dinner with us tonight? Just, cuz, you know, its both our first night back?"

Your Dad squints at the guy who looks like he's guarding our luggage, as Stupid and Wheezy go and collect it. "That green bean there?"

"He's talllllllllllllllllllll," Psycho comments, giggling as he judges Chase.

"Yep, him." You agree, hoping your father is okay with it. you would hate to leave Chase alone in his apartment the days before his flight. He needs a good, family cooked meal for his first night off the ship!

"Yeah I guess." Smart Ass sighs, shrugging and sighing. "I just got noise resistant headphones- I don't gotta communicate with no one."

You grin. "Thank you, Dad!"

"Whatever."

"A boy?" Greasy pipes up, curiously from beside you. You look over and find him sizing Chase up, then turns to you and smiles weakly- a pale imitation of a teasing smirk. "You brought home a handsome boy?"

Rolling your eyes, you pat him on the back before heading over to Chase; not thinking much at all of Greasy's comment of the odd look on his face. "One, he's a man." Greasy rolls his eyes. "And he's just a friend! Wait here guys, I'll bring him over!"

___Greasy's POV___

"Hmmm... a friend." I shake my head, crossing my arms as watch Y/N interact with this 'Chase'. She picks up one of his bags for him and flashes him one of her pretty smiles, and he watches her move on ahead of him back to us. Por supuesto. For sure.

I watch him as a nauseous feeling rolls in my gut. I know that watch. That is not a 'friend' watch. If he was but a friend, he would be more concerned about the loose wooden board he's standing on rather then the chica's behind.

Perhaps I should tell Smartass what that boy is looking at-

As they come over, the nauseous, grinding feeling in me just gets stronger and I decide against opening my mouth to speak. I'm afraid of whatever might come out- I've never been good at withholding my... feelings.

Its only when the boy catches up to her, and us, and he puts an arm over Y/N's shoulders as she introduces us, and I stiffen up like a wooden plank, that I identify the feeling.

Its something I certainly shouldn't be feeling.

Not about Y/N.

The boss will kill me.

Maybe I can ignore it. Wish it away. Its probably just that I haven't been with a woman in a while, now... Si, that must be it. I am desperate. I good night or two with a lovely lady and I'll be fine.

But then the boy kisses Y/N's cheek and I only just manage to swallow the growl that fights to be torn from the back of my throat at the sight, and I realise immediately that this is going to be more complicated then that.

Far more complicated.

"And this is Greasy! Greasy, Chase." Y/N introduces us brightly, presenting him like he's important and Chase good-naturedly offers his hand to me. All I see though is the devil.

"Nice to meet ya! Y/N's told me about you, I hope we can get along." He beams while I glower, not moving at all to take up his hand.

Oh I doubt that we will, 'Chase', I truly do.

"So Chika!" Promptly I turn to Y/N, a smile on my face as I slip between them and wrap an arm around Y/N, leading her up ahead of the others and especially him. "You haven't told us about your travels much- Psycho ate your last postcard. We have to discuss!"

She glances back, concernedly, at Chase but I just prod her to start talking.

Maybe I can right off these feelings as protectiveness... like I'm supposed to be. I watched this girl grow up and I want her to be happy! I'm like... a... father...

My stomach rolls at the idea, but I swallow the horror down. I have to.

#Greasy x Reader #Greasy Weasel x Reader #Toon Patrol #Toon Patrol x Reader #Oneshot #Greasy x Reader Oneshot #Greasy Weasel x Reader Oneshot #Smartass Weasel #Wheezy Weasel #Stupid Weasel #Psycho Weasel

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

.

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag???? #aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘 #love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop. #my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me??? #or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘ #imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so) #i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀 #sentencessss*

[mcshiiin]

Title: Worthless

Sypnosis: Just TsukkiYama angst that no one asked for

Pairings: Tsukishima Kei × Yamaguchi Tadashi

[A/n: Welcome to my Angst Mondays.]

"All I wanted was your genuine love, Tsukki!"

Tadashi's breathing synced with the rhythmic beating of his heart. Each contraction is a poison to his system. A dull knife carving a scar on his soul.

"Yamaguchi," not a minute passed when Kei's low voice touched his ears; but it wasn't gentle like they used to be. It's harsh, unforgiving. It used to be soft, affectionate. He used to call him Tadashi.

"I can't love you unless you love yourself first."

"Okay you know what? Fuck you!"

To say the least, Kei didn't expect Tadashi to use that kind of language.

"Don't you dare use that bullshit logic on me, Kei. I may not have the ability to give it to myself but I deserve to be loved. I deserve to be cared for. I deserve to be cherished!"

Tadashi spit his name with so much hate it pierced through Tsukishima's seemingly ice cold heart. The impending wave of tears finally found its way through the freckle covered cheeks of his. Grief crashed along with intense anger it made his balled fist shake with animosity. He seethes through gritted teeth, almost growling at the latter.

"I'm taking my leave," said Tadashi after a minute of silence. He turned away from him, took half a step. He took another half step, then another, slowly walking away from his lover. He trembled in pain, and quivered in ire. Tsukki didn't even bother to chase him.

"I-I... I take back what I said, T-Tadashi."

Kei thought the lump on his throat would never go away. If it never did, he would be forever grieving. He wouldn't forgive himself for lying to Tadashi.

"What the fuck?"

"You deserve all the love in this world, Dashi."

The said Dashi whipped his neck so fast he almost broke his bone. The silly nicknamed made it hard so to leave. A stray sob then erupted from his pale lips.

"I lied at first. I love you. I could go on all day and list everything I adore about you yet 24-hours wouldn't suffice. You self harm, you hate yourself, but I still loved you. I still do."

Yamaguchi remained silent; almost hoping they could get back together.

"I just don't want to lose my self."

Tsukishima could die any moment now. The pure torment dripping off of Tadashi can obliterate him. The blonde can't let go of Yamaguchi with him thinking he's unworthy. Although they need to let go of each other at some point.

"I'm breaking up with you. Please, whatever reason you may come up on why I'm doing this, disregard those. You see, Yamaguchi, we're both poison to each other. It hurts me more than it hurts to you when you refuse to accept your flaws and treat yourself as something lower than a trash.

When you fall to a self-pitying pit, what do I do? I'd climb down to rescue you. To remind you how great, amazing, and superb partner you are in the best way I could. You know how bad I am in terms of affection, right? How many times have I told you how beautiful you are? How many times have I told you how lucky I am to see the whole universe in one glance at your face?"

Tsukishima felt more strained right now than having to play 5 volleyball matches. With every move of his heart comes a sharp knife cutting through his flesh. His knees are very week at the moment. If he could only latch onto his lover, he would never let go.

"Yamaguchi, do you know why I love you so much?"

At loss for words, he shook his head.

"Because I loved myself first. Yamaguchi, you can't give what you don't have. And just like you, I believe deserve to be loved. I deserve someone that'll appreciate me. I, too, deserve to be cherished.

I don't deserve to be treated as someone like a band-aid that you'll use to cover up your bruises. I'm bleeding too."

Quick as a lightning, the brunette grab a hold of his hand tightly. Almost pulvorizing his bones out of shock and disbelief. With small hiccups falling from his lips, he tried his best to speak.

"T-Tsukki... N-no. I'll change. I'll change for you, for us. Please no. Give me... two, no three, yes. Three days and I'll come back as someone better! Don't love, just don't."

Tsukki tried but failed miserably. Tears are also streaming non-stop from his eyes just like Yamaguchi. Both crying for different reasons. One for loving too much, one for too much sorrow.

"I love you enough to leave you, so you cannot further destroy yourself. So please I beg you, let us go."

He removed the hands clutching on him for dear life. He can't be weak spirited or else this won't end. He need to be brave, to be courageous to set him free.

"But you told me you'll always be there for me. Why are you breaking your promise, Kei?"

"Because if I don't leave, there's no escaping the ugly aftermath of this. I'm losing myself while loving you. If I'm reduced to nothing but a hollow shell of who I was, how can I possibly stay and be there for you?'

And with that, they never saw each other again until 10 years later in the most inconvenient place of all.

The amusement park, 4pm at August 31st.

Tsukishima collided into something hard, and soft at the same time. Soft enough not to be a wall or a pole, and hard enough not be a mascot of some sort.

The event was so sudden, so fast, he stood there frozen.

"Oww. Man, you gotta look where you are going."

Yamaguchi Tadashi sat on the floor on his bum. He wasn't holding anything, so nothing spilled. He's somewhat okay, except for his butt that had a rough time with the floor. Unknowingly, the person he bumped with was star strucked and fell head over heals once again.

"You didn't even bothered helping me h-- TSUKKI?"

Thank you so much Yams, you made it all awkward, calling your ex like that as if there's no bitter history between you too.

"Ahem. Sorry I was so shocked to see you here. You weren't the one to be spotted in these kinds of place in the first place."

"Clumsy as ever, ne?"

"Hahahaha."

They got along well in an instant. An old friends, an old soul reaching its destination all these years. No resentment. No things left unsaid.

"Are you with you're significant other?"

The blonde shook his head, a rare, small smile grazing his dainty lips.

"I'm actually with my family. We got separated for some obvious reasons and here we are."

Yamaguchi wondered, has Tsukki's face always been this bright? An ethereal glow illuminating his features, highlighting the happiness in him. Tsukishima noticed his stare and was quick to change the topic.

"Why are you here again?"

"Oh I got lost. I'm with Kuroo. We've been dating for about 2 years, you know?"

I see. He thought but didn't voiced it. They were sitting on a nearby bench and inhaling the soft ambiance of the park. So serene, so calm, so painful.

Nothing changed, Dashi is still as gorgeous as ever.

"Kei," he hesitated but still proceeded. "Look, I'm sorry for what--!"

Kei doesn't want to hear it.

"No. There's no changing the past. We're both on a better place now, right? And that's what matters."

"Tsukki-!"

Got cut off again.

"Dashi, I just want to remind you, you're worthless," curiosity resurfaced on the said man's face but he disregarded it since he spotted a familiar rooster hair on the crowd behind them.

"You're worthless. Not because your existence has no value rather there's nothing as valuable can measure up to your whole being."

-Fin

[A/n: Big thanks to you if you reached up to this point. I hope you enjoyed!]

#tsukishima kei #tsukishima #kei #tsukishima angst #yamaguchi tadashi #yamaguchi #tadashi #yamaguchi angst #karasuno #haikyuu!! #haikyū!! #angst #tsukkiyama

[imalifegen89]

A Legacy Left Behind - Chapter - 7 - When the Past Unfurls - Part I

Rating: Mature

Category: M/M

Fandoms: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1, Hawaii Five-0 (2010)

Relationship: Steve McGarrett/John Sheppard

Characters: Steve McGarrett, John Sheppard, Danny "Danno" Williams, Evan Lorne, Bates (Stargate), Laura Cadman, Alicia Vega, Kono Kalakaua, Adam Noshimuri, PO Higgins (OC), Samantha "Sam" Carter, Jack O'Neill, John McGarrett, Dr. Lam, Catherine Rollins, Wo Fat, Original Goa'uld Character(s), Original Characters

Additional Tags: Action/Adventure, Action & Romance, Military, Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Violence, Character Bashing, Not Catherine Rollins Friendly, No DADT, Swearing

Summary :

"Sure John, I'll call," He promised as the SUV came to a stop in front of them. He and Danny both got in and seated themselves. He then gave a short wave to John who was still standing there by the exit watching them leave. Steve hoped what John had told him would be true, that his dad would be able to make it through. He was not ready to lose his only remaining parent. ‘God please, not again! Not so soon ...' His mind was repeating the mantra as Steve let out a weary sigh and closed his eyes."

Steve will find out about what happened to his father, who was involved in it, why it happened and so much more than he ever bargained for...

Hello All, Here's the next part of the series, and it's a two-parter. There are some plot twists on the way and hope you all will enjoy it.

Aethir - Thank you so much for your hard work and for finding some time to help me with editing, commenting, and giving out very helpful tips and suggestions. Idea bouncing and snark is always so much fun with you!!!

Part 1 - Honolulu General

Honolulu General Hospital

Hawaii

The six-hour-long flight in the old and noisy Globemaster had left both SEALs travel-weary and sleep-deprived. Neither had talked much during the flight, trying to catch a few hours of shut-eye, but among the jarring engine noise, the comms chatter, the endless shuddering, and the training maneuvers, that had been impossible. At the end of the flight, they had thanked the crew and disembarked with relief, each carrying their single duffel.

They were both on leave and therefore in civilian clothes, and instead of the usual armory they carried around, they only had their handguns and with extra clips in their bags. Although they were only making a visit to the hospital, neither of them was willing to go completely unarmed.

A short taxi ride brought them to the hospital from Hickam closer to the midday visiting hours. They figured if needed, they could wait in the hospital until they could see John McGarrett.

……….

"Hello, My name’s Steve McGarrett, I got a call last night about my father. Somebody named Curtis called me," said Steve, presenting his credentials to the male nurse manning the reception area of the Outdoor-Patient-Department. The nurse - L. Rider, according to his name tag - gave Steve and his ID a once over and started accessing his system.

"Yes, Mr. McGarrett, your father's been moved from the ICU. He’s in room 308. You can take that elevator to the left," he informed.

“Thanks.”

Steve and Danny both took off towards the given directions.

The room Steve's father was in wasn't hard to find. It was located on the third floor and the room had the number and the name 'John McGarrett' on a plaque clearly displayed. It also had 'Dr. Leonard T. Lester - Cardiologist' listed as his primary care physician.

"I'm going to go look around and find some coffee. Do you need anything?" Danny asked. He was going to give his friend some time with his dad before going in.

"Yeah sure, I could use some coffee.”

……….

During the six long hours he’d had to think about what happened, Steve’s mind had been busy contemplating some horrible scenarios. He hadn’t realized that he had been subconsciously bracing himself for the worst. Nobody in his family had any history of heart attacks and he didn't know what to expect, what to do or how to prepare. Being the trained planner that he was, Steve found the lack of knowledge rather unsettling.

What the nurse at the reception told him, gave him hope though. He theorized that since his dad's already been moved from the ICU to a regular room, his condition shouldn't be that bad.

Steve took a moment to compose himself, watching Danny as he walked away. Then he took a deep breath and knocked on the door before entering room 308.

……….

He stood still by the door to take the scene in.

His dad was lying on the bed and a white and blue hospital gown was peeking out from underneath the white blanket. There was a monitor attached to his chest and Steve could see the leads disappear through the opening of his gown. The apparatus was quiet and its screen indicated a steady rhythm while John McGarrett slept. Steve noticed there was an IV connected to his dad's left hand as well. He scrunched up his nose when the strong odor of antiseptics hit him in the face, contrasting starkly with the smell of gun oil and Old Spice aftershave he usually associated with his dad.

McGarrett senior was sleeping peacefully and didn't seem to be in any pain. Steve was content to let his dad be, preferring to let him wake up on his own. As he stepped further into the room, he saw a chair by the bed and lowered himself to it slowly, mindful not to make a sound. Then he placed his duffel bag on the floor and settled in to wait.

Maybe it was his instincts of being an active duty police officer - John McGarrett surfaced from his slumber knowing that there was somebody in the room with him, within a few minutes of Steve’s entrance. The slight change in the rhythm of the heart monitor alerted Steve to the fact. Not wanting to startle him, Steve leaned forward and addressed his father softly.

"Hey dad," he reached to touch his hand, the one without the IV needle.

"Steve!" His dad's eyes went wide, realizing his son was sitting by the bed. "What are you doing here?" John knew Steve was deployed and he was the last person he expected to see in the hospital this early. He hadn’t even been in here for 24 hours.

"The hospital called me and told me you had a heart attack," Steve explained. He was relieved to see that his dad was speaking clearly and wasn't showing any signs of disorientation or pain. In fact, he looked quite normal. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright," John smiled at the raised eyebrow he received from his son at that. So he elaborated. "Just a little tightness in my chest area. But the doctor says it's normal after an attack. Other than that, I really am feeling fine. To be honest, I didn't even know what it was. I only knew I had a heart attack when Dr. Lester told me this morning," He was more curious as to how his son got here so quickly. "Where were you when they called you?"

"Colorado Springs." Steve smiled. He couldn't really get into details about his deployment or his whereabouts other than that, but he was glad that he was in the States to make this trip.

"Hah, and you’re here already. That was quick,"

"Yeah, I got lucky and caught a transport.”

Steve was more than happy to just sit there and exchange pleasantries all day long. But he needed to know what happened first. He got up to go and fetch a glass of water for his father from the bedside table. "Dad, what happened?"

His dad took it and drank some water before handing it back to Steve. Then he turned on his bed to fully settle on his back. Steve put the glass away and leaned towards his dad, giving him his full, undivided attention.

"It was the weirdest thing, kid," said the senior McGarrett, frowning as he cast his mind back to the chain of events that led to his sudden health failure. “I was in that small grocery shop by the filling station near home. I had just finished filling up the tank on the truck and was getting some stuff for the weekend. I remember walking towards the counter to pay and that’s it - for the life of me, I can't remember having any pain or calling for help or anything. I was standing there one moment and was waking up on this bed the next.” He paused to take a deep breath and then exhale slowly. “Then there’s this fellow - Dr. Lester - is telling me how lucky I was to come back from a severe myocardial infarction with no visible damage to my heart,” he made a face, remembering his earlier conversation with the overly cheerful doctor who described the incident in vivid medical detail.

“How’d you get here?”

“He said that the shop owner called for emergency services and sent me here. Apparently, I coded on the way, but they managed to get my heart started again without much fuss. And now, here I am.” John finished recounting the incident.

Steve rubbed a hand across his face, trying to take it all in.

“I wouldn’t obviously know what to expect, it’s not like I’ve had a heart attack before - but I'd have thought that at least you get some kind of a warning sign, you know? Like breathing difficulties, chest pain or something,” McGarrett senior continued after a moment. “Not this going about your normal day-to-day business, and then a complete blackout, followed by waking up in a damn hospital bed - it just doesn't feel normal,” his frown deepened.

Steve didn’t say anything for a long while. He just took his time to sit there and watch his dad who seemed to be doing pretty much okay after going through such an experience. He was immensely relieved and was happy to take his time to enjoy the feeling, letting go of the worry and stress that had built up since the moment he’d received the call.

A knock on the door interrupted the comfortable silence in the room and Danny Williams entered carrying two styrofoam cups of coffee.

“Ah there you are, Cap, how are you feeling?” He asked, handing over a coffee to Steve and coming closer to stand near the bed railing.

“I’m feeling alright, considering,” John smiled crookedly. “Where’s my coffee, Williams?”

“Hey, I don't think coffee is on the approved list for you,” Danny grinned. He was glad to see the man looked healthy enough for someone who had just had a serious health scare, fit to be up and making demands. “Besides, this hospital swill is so bad it might just give you a different problem or three,” he sipped his coffee and grimaced theatrically to prove the point. “So when are they letting you out?”

“Don't know yet, my doctor is supposed to drop by any time now. I don't think I need to stay here any longer at all.” John stated confidently. He was not accustomed to sitting around on a bed all day, especially when he wasn’t feeling different from any other day.

“Let’s let the doctor decide that, yeah dad? As you said, this is the first time something like this has happened to you and they just might need to keep you under observation for a bit - just saying,” Steve cautioned.

He knew his dad and he could see the stubborn man was already planning on going home, to start acting as if nothing happened. He might even insist on going to work unless the doctor gave him strict orders to rest and take it easy for a while.

“Which reminds me, do they know at the station that you are here?” Steve asked his dad before he could start protesting about staying put in the hospital. “I tried calling Kelly before I left, but it went to voicemail,”

“No, I’m on leave - only due back the day after tomorrow,” his dad replied somewhat petulantly.

The room door opened again, this time granting entry to a short, balding Hawaiian native. The name tag embroidered over the chest area of his white coat identified him as Dr. L.T. Lester. He smiled cheerfully at all of them and went to the nearest monitor connected to McGarrett senior.

“So how are you feeling today, John?” the doctor inquired while studying the monitor.

“I’m fine doc, when do I get to go home?” John got straight to the point.

The doctor continued taking readings and making notes with an amused smile on his face. Then he went to unclip the chart hanging on the bed railing and made a few notes on it. After that, instead of answering his reluctant patient, the doctor turned to Steve and Danny to introduce himself. At the end of exchanging pleasantries, he finally turned to address John.

“Well, Mr. McGarrett, I can see you’re doing quite well and your readings are good. But, as I explained to you earlier, what you went through is quite serious and you might have damage to your heart muscle.”

Then sensing the alarm from the visitors of his patient, the doctor hurried to explain. “It’s what happens during a heart attack. The blood flow into the heart gets interrupted and it goes into a sort of overdrive trying to restore the flow. This overactivity can cause damage. Your dad was quite lucky that people near him reacted quickly and sent him to the hospital on time.” The doctor smiled again.

“So, what’s next, doc?” Steve asked.

“We do need to assess the possibility of damage and the cause of the infraction. The most common reason is usually coronary artery disease, which means cholesterol clogging the arteries. There are some instances this could happen if you were experiencing a seizure with severe spasms and contractions. We’ll need to run some tests to determine the cause and then plan steps for the recovery,”

“And how long will all this take?” The McGarrett senior looked crestfallen, resigned to the fact that he wasn’t going to get out soon.

“I actually have you scheduled for some of the tests now. Some blood work, an EKG, and a scan. An attendant should be here shortly to take you for those,” Then the doctor turned to Steve and Danny. “The tests will take about an hour or so. If you need to step out and have a meal or something, now would be the time.”

An elderly female attendant entered the room quietly, pushing a wheelchair as the doctor finished, and started unhooking Steve's dad from his various monitors. Steve took the doctor's advice and took his leave with Danny, after letting his dad know that they’ll be back once the tests were done.

……….

“Well, I’ve gotta admit man, your dad’s right. That does sound weird.” Danny said after listening to Steve about what happened.

“Why?” Steve frowned.

“My uncle Mario had a heart attack a couple of years ago. The man was moving some heavy boxes around. He’d been sweating buckets and breathing through his mouth for about an hour when my aunt found him and made him take a break. Then he felt pain in his chest and aunt Rea took him to a doctor. The doctor took one look at him and sent him to an ER. He’s been suffering from a heart attack for hours by then,” Danny paused and tried to remember the exact details his mother told him about what happened to his uncle. “He is fine now. He had to have a bypass and has to stay away from all the greasy food and the alcohol, but he made it,” he said inspecting the sandwich he took from the vending machine. They were both seated in the hospital cafeteria with bottles of water and sandwiches.

It was crowded and almost all the tables were full with families huddling together having lunch - most probably waiting for news about their loved ones. It wasn’t that noisy, despite being crowded to capacity - and nowhere near cozy or inviting - as one would expect from a busy dining area. It felt as though the sense of expectation, the sense of happiness, and the overpowering sense of grief had all tangled up together to create a very subdued atmosphere. Even the smell of food mixed with the underlying odors of disinfectant contributed to the gloom that pervaded over the souls lost in their own private worlds.

“Wow, I’ve forgotten how crappy the hospital food is. This doesn't look like a roast beef sandwich man,” Danny sniffed at it. “Sure doesn’t smell like it either.” Then he shrugged and started eating. It didn’t taste much better either, but he was hungry after the long flight.

Steve didn’t say anything as he nibbled on his food. He wasn’t really hungry but knew he had to have something to keep his energy up. He was thinking about his dad’s recounting of the incident. He hadn’t said anything to his dad earlier, but the more he thought about it, the less it made sense. What Danny was telling him also made it clear how unusual the whole thing was. He made up his mind to pop into the shop his dad was in, later when they left the hospital. Maybe he could talk to the shopkeeper and even have a look at their security footage if they had any. He might even find something that could explain his dad suddenly suffering a heart attack. Maybe there was something that his dad had forgotten to mention.

He needed to get in touch with Sheppard as well, to let him know his dad’s condition. He knew that John would worry until he heard from him. Taking the last bite of his sandwich, he decided now would be the best time to make that call.

“Listen, I need to call Shep and let him know dad’s alright. I’m just gonna be over there by that balcony,” he told Danny as he stood up, fishing his phone out of his jacket pocket. Then he walked to the area he pointed, dialing Sheppard. “Be right back.”

………..

The sweet and subtle smell of her perfume reached Danny first, as he realized the lady who was wearing it was standing right in front of him. He looked up and saw the familiar, smiling face of Lieutenant Catherine Rollins looking down at him.

“Well, hello!” He grinned. “Fancy running into you here, of all places,” he gestured at the seat Steve had just vacated. “Take a seat,”

“Thanks,” Rollins smiled charmingly as she sat. “I’m just here visiting a friend of mine. She just had her second baby - a cute little baby boy,” her face took on the same expression all women wore when talking about babies. “I popped in here to get a drink and then I saw you,” she said. “I thought you guys were in Colorado? Is everything ok?” Her expression turned into one tinged with concern.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m here with Steve, actually. We got a call about his dad, but he’s alright. We just saw him,” Danny explained without going into much detail. He noticed the Lieutenant perking up at the mention of McGarrett junior.

“He’s over there, on a call.” he pointed with his head.

Steve was leaning over the balcony with his elbows resting on the railing and busy talking to Sheppard. He didn’t see the new arrival as he had his back to them.

Danny saw the wattage of Cathrine’s smile go up as her eyes ran over the view the oblivious SEAL presented. He hid the grin and blinked at her innocently when she turned back to face him.

“So, will you guys be here for a few days then?” She inquired, her gaze snapping back to where Steve was, almost unintentionally.

Danny knew she was mostly interested in finding out whether Steve was going to be around for a while.

“Well, that depends.” He hedged. “We have to see his dad’s doctor and see how it goes,”

He didn’t want to give any definite answers or any other details without Steve’s say so. He opened his bottle and drank some water, wishing Steve would soon return. So that he could decide what to tell this infatuated Lieutenant who was back to staring at Steve’s ass with a dreamy look on her face. Then something started to nag at Danny about what she said earlier, but he couldn’t place it. He pushed it away to sort out later as he saw Steve finishing his call.

……….

“Yeah, so that’s what happened. He seems alright and man, that’s a relief. Depending on what his tests and scans show, it’ll be a day or two more. But I’ll message you when I find out,” Steve said to John, who was quite relieved at the fact that Steve’s dad was fine. He insisted that Steve take as much time as needed to make sure his dad got all the support he needed. He also made Steve promise to message him with updates and implored him to take care of himself before finally ending the call.

Steve put his phone back inside his jacket with a smile. He very much appreciated the time he was given to take care of his dad. Moreover, he was deeply touched by the way Sheppard sounded over the phone. He had been really worried and the relief that poured over from his lover through the call was almost a tangible thing. Steve made a mental note to send regular updates as promised. It wasn’t something he would have done for anyone else, but he knew Sheppard would stress otherwise. It felt nice to know that he had somebody who cared that much about him.

He felt the good feeling wilt away when he turned back to see the penetrating gaze of Catherine Rollins directed at him. He was pretty sure he caught her in the act of staring at his ass. She smiled brilliantly at him and waved. Steve was somewhat reluctant to wave back and tried his best to summon a smile for her. He was sure it looked more like a grimace instead.

Steve didn’t have anything against beautiful women. He was definitely not opposed to being the subject of desire of one, either. He had gone out with many pretty women and Catherine Rollins, with her long black hair, soulful brown eyes, and radiant smile was exactly his type. But he was very much invested in another hazel-eyed brunet and he didn’t see himself veering off anytime soon - if ever at all. Even if he wasn’t, Steve knew that he still wouldn’t be interested in this particular woman. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was something off about Lieutenant Rollins - something that rubbed him the wrong way - that made him want to be on his guard whenever she was nearby.

“Hi, Steve,” Rollins greeted cheerfully as he walked towards them.

Again, he was instantly put off by the overly friendly greeting. They had only known each other for about 48 hours, hadn’t they? He had to make a conscious effort to return the greeting without letting his true feelings show.

“Hello, Lieutenant,” He asked, more or less politely. “What brings you here?”

Danny cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes, picking up on Steve’s discomfort instantly.

Rollins either didn’t notice or didn’t let it bother her because she launched into the story of her friend and her cute little babies with great enthusiasm.

Steve kept the smile plastered on his face as she talked. Then he made a show of checking time and gestured to Danny. “Hey, listen, it’s nice bumping into you here. But Danny and I’ve gotta run. My dad should be done with his tests now,” he said to the woman as Danny got up from the chair to go with him. Steve didn’t want to give her any details about their visit here and hoped Danny hadn’t run his mouth either.

With that somewhat curt parting, he turned and walked out of the cafeteria, with Danny following closely behind.

“So, it isn’t just me, hah? She gives off weird vibes to you too?” Danny asked, turning his walk into a half jog to keep up with Steve’s longer strides. Steve was eager to put as much distance as possible between them and Rollins.

“Yeah, you didn’t tell her why we’re here, did you?” Steve asked while stabbing the buttons on the elevator.

“Nah, not really. Just told her that we’re here for your dad. That’s it.”

“Is she following us?” Steve was staring at the shiny surface of the elevator door.

The reflections on it were slightly distorted. But Danny could discern the shapely figure of Rollins in tight-fitting jeans and green sleeveless top, slowly making her way towards them.

“Forget this,” Steve spat, pressing a few more buttons for various floors on the keypad. Then he swiftly walked away to the nearest staircase and started climbing two steps at a time. He knew his behavior was a bit irrational; she was just a colleague after all, not another enemy combatant gaining on him. Nevertheless, he wanted to get away from her as soon as possible.

When they finally reached Steve’s dad’s room, the man was already there, enjoying his lunch. It didn’t look much better than what they had either. John McGarrett insisted that there was no need for them to hang around since he was just going to take his pills and take a long nap anyway. He could see the boys were tired and wanted them to go home and catch a few hours of sleep for themselves. Steve relented and promised his dad that they’d drop by later around dinner time. He made him promise to call them if he needed anything before that and then finally hugged him fiercely, before taking their leave.

#fanfiction series #stargate atlantis #steve mcgarrett #john sheppard #ao3fic #cross over #hawaii five 0 #stargate #fiction #my writing #writers on tumblr #alternate universe #military #Not Catherine Rollins Friendly #No DADT

[baekhyunbitz]

Yin and Yang

An: Finally finished!!! Since it's this cuties birthday still in my country, I wanted to get it done and post it today. Happy Birthday handsome❣

Genre: Flufffffff

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.4k +

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The stories say on your 17th birthday, you're one step closer to finding your soulmate. You will begin to notice a tattoo take its form and only your soulmate possesses the copy. They can range from any size, color, and pattern, and could possibly change once you have met them but that case is very rare. It's become much easier as the years go on and social media becomes more popular, pictures are uploaded 24/7 making the search a bit more bearable. Then there are people like me that choose to let time take its course. Believe me, I get curious every once and a while but I'm not in any hurry. The day I turned 17 wasn't a day I was looking forward to. All everyone seems to care about anymore is finding their special person but there is so much more to live for. I was actually very pleased with my piece though. Yin and Yang. Dark and light. Simple, yes, but my light carried thin brush strokes of crimson and tangerine, while my dark looked like a messy brush stroke as if the zigzag scribbles were enough to cover the Yin next to the Yang. Messy, but simple, it fit me.

As the next few years go on, all my friends have found their S/O after hours of browsing the web, I, on the other hand, have traveled around the world, adding a new tattoo to commemorate my adventures. I saunter down the hall of my apartment towards my front door, making sure I have everything I need.

"Headphones, check. Wallet, check. Water, check. Keys...." I look towards the wall by the front door and grab them from their place on the hook. "Check." I slip on my shoes then head out the door, skipping through the lobby and out the main doors.

Today marks a year since I've moved to South Korea. I wanted a big new change in my life and this vibrant and alive city was calling out my name. From the culture to the food, the sights, to the loving. I decided to get the skyline of the city in a small celebration for this special anniversary. About 6 months ago, a new tattoo/piercing shop opened several blocks into the city, INKredible Tattoos and I've heard nothing but incredible reviews about them. I took a liking to their portfolios and decided I wanted to have them be a part of my adventure piece on my arm. I've made it a goal that I always find a new artist to add to the sleeve piece on my left arm, also adding two decently sized pieces on each thigh and a four leaf clover behind my right ear. My sleeve consists of all the places I've been to, my biggest achievements, my relationships with family and friends, all framing my soulmate tattoo.

Passing the apartment buildings of various colors and structures, the tattoo shop comes into sight, a maroon awning shading the entrance and music playing from the speaker. The bell chimes as I walk into the air-conditioned lobby. The walls are painted the same maroon with gold flakes scattered, mahogany polished flooring with black leather sofas for seating. What caught my eye though was the espresso tinted irises looking in my direction.

"Ah, welcome to INKredible Tattoos. How can I help you today?" The man stepped out from behind the glass case, my eyes falling to the way his dark blue jeans hugged his gorgeously thick thighs. Words got stuck in my throat as the sunlight from the window lit up his profile, showing his sharp jawline and deep set features. His thick chocolate locks fell onto his forehead as he extended his hand out to mine. His olive green t-shirt gripping his biceps,

"I'm sorry, my name is Dean, I'm the owner of this shop."

"Y/N. Pleasure to meet you." My eyes still fixated on his features, a chuckle escaping past his lips.

"The pleasure is mine. What were you thinking about getting today hun?"

"Well, I was thinking about getting the skyline of Seoul on my left arm here by my shou— "

"Dean!" A voice yelled, "Did you happen to—oh..." Another guy appeared in my vision, one that is a little more eccentric than Dean. His black teal tinted curls bounced as he took the space next to Dean, mahogany vortexes took me by surprise, just as much as the silver ball of his labret piercing, "What's a cute girl like you doing in a place like this? Thinking about getting a piercing from the one and only me?" He pointed at himself, my eyes catching the sling of his chest peeking out of his semi buttoned-up red, blue, and white shirt.

"Knock it off Mino, she's here for a tattoo." Dean hissed and Mino slid his hands into his dark jeans. His plush pink lips formed a pout that seemed too cute for his sultry features. I chuckle from his reaction, easing the tension, a slight smirk making itself apparent in the corner of Mino's lips.

"Hey Christian! We have a new canvas!" Mino gruffed and a guy with curly obsidian hair made his way down the hall. Clinging to his body was a gray short sleeved button down shirt, accentuating his muscular biceps, black ink art spilling down his left arm.

"Is that so, what made you decide to come here?" His thick Australian accent stunned me as he approached me, his warm skin soaked in the sunlight as well as his caramel irises turning a warm honey.

"6 months ago I heard the buzz about your shop from a friend so I decided to check out your website and admired everyone's portfolios. The different techniques from each of you are outstanding, but one in particular really captured my interest. I believe his name is Oh Sehun."

"Well, you happen to be in luck today, he's in the back room." As I followed Christian down the hall, bright red hair caught my attention. My feet stopped at one of the rooms, my eyes viewing the tattoo artist; his eyes focused on the customer's piece, the buzz of the tattoo machine at work. He pulled away from the skin, his hand grabbing the clean paper towel from his slender leg. His maroon sleeves are pushed up, showing the ink on his arm; I leaned against the door frame trying to see his features, but his red hair blocked them, "Y/N, what are you waiting for?" Christian's voice bringing me back to reality, my feet pulling me from the door to a few rooms further, "Get your guns ready, master. You've got an admirer." Christian moved to the side of the door to let me by. My heart stopped as my eyes fell on to the man sitting in the chair. His dark almond irises met with mine, the words I tried to speak stuck in my throat.

"Awesome, what'sypur name love?"

"Y/N." Even his voice has me weak. He rolled back in his chair, his shirt revealing his toned chest making my heart race,

”Go ahead and sit in the chair for me." His eyes watched me, his soft brown hair falling into his face, "What are we thinking about creating today?"

“The skyline of Seoul. I wanted to get a piece to commemorate a whole year here. It's an early birthday gift for myself and I figured now was better than never."

"We going with the black silhouette?"He rolls over in the chair next to me, the close presence sending a chill down my spine. What has come over me?

"Yes, I was thinking about getting it right here by my shoulder."

"Alright. I'm going to trace out the stencil and place it to see if you like the spot." Sehun saunters over to the light table, giving light instructions to Christian to get the necessary equipment ready. My eyes can't help but wander around the room, Sehun's work framed on the walls, his technique so effortless. My gaze lands back on Sehun at the table, his honey-like skin glowing under the soft lighting from the table.

"He's stunning isn't he?" Christian lightly whispered causing me to jump a bit in my seat.

"What? I mean...I wasn't..?"

"It’s okay love, most clients end up staring at one point or another after walking through the door." He winked with a light smirk he wondered over to Sehun to let him know the station was ready to go.

"How does this look?" Sehun rolls over to me with the stencil in hand, a black silhouette of the skyline of Seoul perfectly etched out on the tracing paper with carbon ink.

"Perfect, it's exactly what I want."

"Excellent, I'll just place it to get the right spot then we'll get started." His soft smile had my heart skipping a beat, his hands gently laid the paper against my left arm just below my shoulder at the top of my inked sleeve. His digits brushing over my skin with a feather-like touch while smoothing out the edges of the paper.

"Still looking good?" I looked into the hand mirror he held up so I can view the placement, nodding to let him know it was great where it was,

"Let's get started then, Christian you mind helping Dean out for right now since this shouldn't take too long." Christian saluted for his departure, closing the door on the way out. One of my favorite sounds fills the room as the tattoo gun comes to life, "So what's your story behind your sleeve love?"

"I have this goal for myself actually. I try to go on adventures and try new things as much as I can, when I accomplish this, I add a new piece to my sleeve. I've been adventuring since I turned 17. It hasn't been easy with everyone telling me that I won't get far if I don't have my soulmate by my side."

"I never understood why finding our soulmates was a priority. I don't need someone to make a living in life."

"Thank you! Finally, I met someone that feels the same way I do. I also started getting more pieces so people around me would stop harassing me about their soulmates." A light chuckle came from the man sitting in front of me, the corner of his lips turning into a smirk. That sound. Might just become my new favorite. What has come over me today? He's just a guy. He's just my tattoo artist.

"I'm gonna need you to turn your arm a slight bit here so I can finish it up." As I turn my arm, I noticed the machine stop buzzing, his features falling blank.

"Is there something wrong?" He furrowed his brow, struggling to find the right words as started up the machine again.

"Uh.. sor— sorry, I was just amazed by all the achievements you've made. You've done so much it seems, more than anyone I know." Is that really what caused him to stop? Nobody has done that before… I wonder—no… he can't be. There's no way.

"What got you into the tattooing business?"

"Well since I can remember, I've had a love for the art form, wasn't until I got my first tattoo that I actually started learning. Once I got used to the machine and practiced a lot with my teacher, I did my first tattoo on Dean. We've been close since that day. When he asked me to be a member of his new parlor, I was so ecstatic to finally have my dream job." The genuine smile he displayed showed the deep passion he has for this line of work.

"You're family must be really proud of you. Following your dreams and goals."

"Actually, they just wanted me to find my soulmate just like everyone else."

"I'm sorry, Sehun... I didn't me—"

"It's okay love, I've had plenty of time to get over it. Like you, it's not the most important adventure in my life. Although, I'm open to the idea as of lately." Why did those few words seem to punch me in the chest... I shouldn't feel this way for someone I just met.

"I hope you find your special someone Sehun. You seem like a great guy."

"Thank you Y/N, but I have a feeling I won't have too much trouble."

"How optimistic. Good quality to have in life."

"Alright, you're all finished hun, I hope you like it." He lifts up the hand mirror once again so I can see the finished piece. He ended up adding two birds flying above the skyline, adding onto the beautiful silhouette.

"I adore it Sehun, thank you so much. It means a great deal to me."

"Anytime, you ever feel like getting another piece in the future while you're around, I would love to be the artist." Seeing his full smile caused a blush to spread over my cheekbones. Oh God, please don't notice. He took the latex gloves off as we made our way to the door, entering the hall,

"So how are we paying today?"

"Card is fine." I reached into my pocket to pull out my card, only to see Sehun's hand laying on the counter. My heart started to pound in my chest at the replica to my soulmate piece, but in blue. Blinking a couple of times to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me, the color started to change into a mauve. I look down at mine to see the tangerine shade fade into the same mauve color.

"How about a date instead?" I thought I was blushing before— boy, earlier couldn't come close to comparison. Whistles, hollers, and claps filled the space around the lobby causing a chuckle to fall past Sehun's lips as his friends applauded the long-awaited moment.

"I was beginning to wonder how long it would take for one of you to notice. I happened to see your tattoo as you explained your story, the funny part was that you were automatically drawn to his work, I didn't need to intervene." Dean explained as he high fived Christian and the red-haired man from the other room.

"Bout damn time there man, I was starting to think you were never going to find the one. By the way, my names Kwon Jiyong, but you can call me G-Dragon."

"Nice to meet you." We shook hands before he leaned down to lightly kiss the top of my hand, letting go to ruffle Sehun's hair.

"So what do you say, love? Mind if I show off your beauty to my city?"

"As long as it's you by my side, I'll go anywhere."

#kpop #exo #exo soulmate series #exo series #soulmate series #exo oh sehun #oh sehun #exo sehun #sehun #exo fluff #exo drabble #exo imagine #oh sehun fluff #oh sehun drabble #oh sehun imagine #sehun imagine #sehun drabble #sehun fluff #oh sehun x reader #sehun x reader #oh sehun scenario #sehun scenario #oh sehun reaction #sehun reaction #exo scenario #exo reaction #exo l #exo exols #happy birthday #soulmate tattoos

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [later but still the same night clearly] Jimmy: Turn your location on, I need my jacket back Janis: fuck off, no you don't Jimmy: I wouldn't be chatting to you if I didn't Janis: it can wait Jimmy: it's freezing Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Janis: so cold you need two jackets now Jimmy: unless you're offering to hug it out Janis: as much as I want you to suffer Janis: has your sister not put a key through for you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: are you gonna tell me where you are or what? Janis: I'd rather come to you Jimmy: go on then Janis: Where are you then Jimmy: [sends his location but lbr he's just walking] Janis: alright Janis: be there in a few Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you should go to the 24 hour tescos Janis: kill some time Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: what do you need? Janis: nothing, you idiot Janis: it's a tip Janis: 24 hour gyms are better but you'll need a membership usually Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll funnel my hard earned tips into that next time my dad decides to be a massive knobhead Janis: some of them ain't that pricey, one near the CG actually Jimmy: alright rich girl, I'm gonna stop you there Janis: it's like a fiver a month Janis: one pack of cigarettes less, not even Jimmy: you're not my real girlfriend, no need to have a chat about how I spend and save Janis: I'm giving you solutions Jimmy: give me my jacket Jimmy: nowt else Janis: free speech, init Janis: you dickhead Jimmy: you told me to stop talking to you a bit ago Janis: so Jimmy: so now you've got loads to say? Janis: I've always had plenty to say Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: yeah Janis: sums your contribution up Jimmy: leave it out Janis: make me Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: death's already having a go standing here Janis: you wish Janis: actually so dramatic Jimmy: 💀😍💀 Janis: cute Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do you want a place to stay Jimmy: do you have any decent ideas? Janis: go to mine, I ain't gonna be there Janis: no one will be up Jimmy: Mia might Jimmy: evil never sleeps Janis: I don't think she's actually a rapist, like Janis: you'll be safe Jimmy: you're alright Janis: alright Janis: you got a shed Janis: sleep in that Jimmy: 😂 Janis: what Jimmy: just trying to picture your posh garden summer house, rich girl Jimmy: hang on Janis: yeah Janis: you've got no clue Jimmy: weren't searching for any Janis: then stop chatting shit Jimmy: why? Jimmy: you won't Janis: I've got enough people assuming things wrong Janis: I don't need you Janis: and I ain't assumed shit about you Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: you're such a fucking Janis: just shut up, I'm nearly there Jimmy: nah, go on Jimmy: say how you really feel Janis: why Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: plenty on the tip of your tongue so you reckon Janis: so you can sit there and chat shit back Janis: yeah, no thanks Jimmy: it ain't shit just 'cause it ain't what you want me to say back Janis: nah, it's shit by your own admittance Janis: literally just said it Jimmy: now you're listening Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I've been listening Janis: what do you want Jimmy: when? Janis: when haven't I Janis: what are you talking about, go on Jimmy: don't end it like that, I'm not getting cheated on again Janis: I ain't doing anything tonight Jimmy: not what I asked or said Janis: fine Janis: I'll just look like the dick then yeah Jimmy: put it on me Jimmy: I'm too #highkey or whatever Janis: how is that better Janis: genuinely Jimmy: how is it better for me or how is it better for you? what's your question? Janis: for you Jimmy: how is it better than going through that shit again? Really? Janis: whether I cheat on you or dump you for being too nice, you're getting the same reaction regardless Janis: you wanna be the one who cheats but then I lose Janis: we've fucked it, best is we do it amicably and then we both lose, there's no way for us to both win and why should I let you Jimmy: I don't care about winning Janis: I can't promise you any outcome where they leave you alone Janis: that's the whole reason we were doing this Jimmy: I haven't lost my memory, like Janis: well I don't know what you want from me Jimmy: I got that Janis: fucking hell Jimmy: just Janis: yeah Jimmy: leave it Jimmy: as you said, we've fucked it, we've gotta carry on Janis: we'll have to stop it eventually Jimmy: weren't planning on marrying you, Jodie Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: don't be stupid Janis: you'll have to deal eventually, is what I'm saying Janis: we will, whatever Jimmy: we'll do a fake break up when we've planned it out, not when what you say goes 'cause you're fuming Janis: excuse you no Janis: it was you who fucking said it Jimmy: I said I don't want this Jimmy: I don't Janis: well you'll have to deal won't you Janis: decide what you want less Jimmy: you're so Janis: yeah, you hate mee Janis: whatever Jimmy: your ultimate kink that Janis: if it was I'd want you around Jimmy: who's walking to who? Janis: oh my god Janis: I don't need you freezing to death Janis: or getting lost, again Jimmy: stop pissing about then Jimmy: come here Janis: you've got some fucking nerve Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: and you aren't funny Jimmy: not tonight Janis: don't write cheques you can't cash Janis: unnecessary Jimmy: I carry cash, it's you who don't Janis: see where trying to pay me gets you Janis: [showing up and throwing that jacket at him] Jimmy: [put your jacket on boy and shut your mouth] Janis: ['anything else?' not looking at him] Jimmy: [when you're just looking at her and almost doing a cry cos that's the life you're living] Janis: ['are you sure-' not finishing that 'cos so many possibilities] Jimmy: [just gotta shake your head cos you're not sure about anything are you, big part of the problem here] Janis: [nods like yeah, 'look, we don't need to be mates but I ain't got any interest in hating you, alright? pointless so just, you know'] Jimmy: [take two of trying to give her a bottle, be less of a dick this time boy] Janis: [takes it 'cos as close to a peace offering as we're getting rn and does cheers motion as she takes a swig] Jimmy: [sitting on this random curb so casually I always had to do that if I was out playing] Janis: [sitting down too a little ways away] Jimmy: [having a moment with himself like don't cry, Katie Fitch style] Janis: [when you gently go for the jacket pocket and get out 🚬 and light it for him] Jimmy: [when you shouldn't look at her cos that's so nice - too nice lbr- but you do look at her cos she's right there and you can't not] Janis: [when you look back and lean in but then you gotta lean back like no 'cos you think that's not what he wants and you're trying to be a friend not friend and ugh] Jimmy: [trying not to look 💔 like this isn't your own fault, gdi Jimothy] Janis: ['it's okay' when you just want to be comforting even though it really isn't and you're like why did I say that] Jimmy: [when you laugh cos no its not but it's also not funny and that ain't helpful so well done, oh these two] Janis: [kicks him like you know what I mean, shh, this is weird we both know it 'okay, well, I'm sorry your dad's a dick, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi but it's too soft to really be that and we all know it 'he ain't sorry, why should you be?'] Janis: ['cos I'm dead nice, obviously' 😏 but shrugging like] Jimmy: [lols more genuinely] Janis: ['charming' but not actually mad] Jimmy: [putting an arm around her cos she's literally in a t-shirt now like don't die babe] Janis: [the nip situation would be outta control lmao fold your arms girl] Jimmy: [at least pretend that's not a thing boy, least you can do] Janis: ['It ain't a summer house, it's a barn but it is somewhere you can crash, it's converted, there's sofas and shit' 'cos not giving up] Jimmy: [gives her his oh we're still on this kinda look but also not mad cos when does anyone give this much of a fuck about him] Janis: ['Please'] Jimmy: ['Bus takes an age if it's even running early as I need to be on shift. It ain't gonna work' but she said please so obvs you're thinking about it and looking at her like] Janis: [pouting but actually so on the low 'cos you know that's fair and he probably doesn't want one of cali or the older sibs driving him so] Jimmy: ['help me get into mine if you've gotta do owt' cos lbr it wouldn't be hard there's probably a bathroom window open and a drainpipe/roof situation and such a #mood cos she's such an athlete so] Janis: 'I dunno, guardog is pretty fierce' ] Jimmy: [a real lol 'if you ain't up for the challenge, you ain't' gets up like well bye then but is 😏 and pulls her up on her feet too a literal second later anyway] Janis: [a faux-offended face like how dare you 'cos 'Course I am!' but then grins like let's go] Jimmy: [shrugs the jacket off and gives it to her like your turn babe cos they share everything it's facts 'here, you're gonna make me fall to my death if you don't cover up' because just can't ignore the nip situation like a gentleman can you lad] Janis: ['Knew the jacket was a blatant coverup but wouldn't have necessarily guessed you wanted me to break and enter for you' shakes head like honestly tut-tut but still not mad, even when she hits him like oi it ain't my fault I had to go dramatically stand in the rain 'I reckon I'll go in, find the keys then let you in the door, all offense meant to your... prowess' 😉] Jimmy: [gives her a look like well gotta keep you guessing and it's so flirty SOS but then pulls the hood up over her head playfully, messing her hair up, like oi don't be rude and so much 😏 goodbye] Janis: ['stop flirting with me' but we all know that means don't ever stop] Jimmy: ['or what?' literally eye fucking rn calm down] Janis: ['you know what'] Jimmy: [be more up in her everything at this moment jfc I can't with you sir don't do this to me] Janis: ['just, if it's gonna be-' when you can't do words] Jimmy: ['I just-' cos same but boy you gotta communicate I s2g I hate you] Janis: ['we don't have to do this tonight, now, yeah? none of it, like, there's time'] Jimmy: [when you can breathe because she really let you off the hook there so you gently drag her off towards your house like come on] Janis: [get it lads] Jimmy: [break in of the century, but we know it's gonna play out how she said cos lbr he's not pulling his weight here] Jimmy: [like he'd try and go up the drainpipe and slip and she'd be like um no boy down you get] Janis: [god bless boy, when you just in the doorway afterwards like all 👍?] Jimmy: [gotta love a sleepy Twix before she goes cray though cos heard 'em way to cockblock this bonding moment pup] Janis: [don't give 'em away traitor pup shh Jimmy: [giving her treats like behave thank you] Janis: [all whispering obvs 'cos not drunk af this time 'you should get another key cut he don't know about'] Jimmy: [when you can't hide how good of an idea you think that is cos tell your face and you were already impressed by her break in antics and we're dangerously close to 😍] Janis: [when you ain't even smug just smiling like a nerd 'cos you already know his dad ain't shit] Jimmy: [just in the kitchen from when you had to bribe Twix opening the fridge with a flourish like see anything you like cos will literally give her anything so she won't leave yet] Janis: [say by some miracle there's a slice of pizza left so she grabs that] Jimmy: [He's just making tea cos northern] Janis: [sneaking peeks honey] Jimmy: [he ain't asked her if she wants one he's just doing it, bit rude when you don't know if she likes tea never mind how] Janis: ['milk, 2 sugars' 😏] Jimmy: [does a OTT dramatic gasp like a nerd cos we gonna say they take their tea the same for the feels '#twinning, Gracie will be delighted'] Janis: [does a little lol, 'yeah, 'specially 'cos she don't drink a tea unless it promises to fix her skin and her love life for her, and tastes like shit, like'] Jimmy: [just grinning 'No dairy, like ever, OMG, I know' crossing his heart with an eye roll before carrying the tea to the lounge] Janis: [getting comfy on the sofa like bitch you were leaving lmao your resolve 'you should just give her full fat, she'd never notice, honestly'] Jimmy: [laughs evilly but quietly cos don't wake peeps up and mimes writing it down but then you know he's also getting comfy closer to her than he needs to be as per] Janis: ['puts hands up like soz 'you're off the clock, I remember'] Jimmy: [mimes looking at his watch and sighs dramatically like only for a bit but ain't that devvo cos got his bae back] Janis: ['should've put this in a to-go, like'] Jimmy: [nudges her like where do you are like I ain't even got #aesthetic mugs for insta 'pay up and you can have it prepped or served any way you want'] Janis: ['hot' 😂] Jimmy: [sips tea like he's doing a temp check and 👍] Janis: [just looks at him like nerd alert] Jimmy: [gets up, gets a pack of biscuits and throws them at her but gently cos again shh please boy] Janis: ['#whenbaespoilsyou'] Jimmy: [blows a kiss at her cos nerd] Janis: [catch it 'cos sporty] Jimmy: ['such an athlete, babe'] Janis: [stretching back like 'you know it'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her body cos that top is cropped af before you even move thank you bye] Janis: [always hitting with a 'what?' but being 😏 'cos you know] Jimmy: [always giving it back like you don't know exactly what you're doing okay then] Janis: [just come casual tension but you're about it] Jimmy: [nearly spilling that tea actually cos all your attention is on the bae, the fucking eye contact forever damn] Janis: [sipping with purpose beech] Jimmy: [when your phone goes off to break the unbearable tension for a sec but it's just the fans as usual so you can look together and get even closer to her like look] Janis: ['can't break their hearts just yet, like, they ain't ready'] Jimmy: ['none of the lads must've caught your party mood from a decent enough angle or that'd be up doing it for us'] Janis: [🙄 and pushes him like shut up] Jimmy: ['its alright I've had more breakups and make ups than I've had girlfriends, must be something about me 😏'] Janis: [lols 'you reckon'] Jimmy: [throws a pillow at her like don't lol at my misfortune but is clearly also amused 'try and fake some sympathy, girl, damn'] Janis: [clutches her heart dramatically] Jimmy: [shakes his head like she's such a dickhead but smiling cos she's also a cute nerd] Janis: ['this-' gestures to the tea '-ain't strong enough to swap war stories, boy'] Jimmy: ['subtle move, pisshead' gestures toward the kitchen 'go on and raid Ian's supply but his broken heart'll be on your head, like'] Janis: [gets up and shrugs 'least I didn't break his windows'] Jimmy: [shrugs back like fair point] Janis: [picks a bottle that's fairly full but not completely 'cos least obvious and she's not actually that arsed but takes a swig walking back in] Jimmy: [control your heart eyes and swooning boy we all know its a #mood] Janis: [offers the bottle to him but doesn't sit, 'it'll help you sleep, early start and everything'] Jimmy: [takes it and takes a bigger swig than her because everything's a challenge and passes it back] Janis: [raises her brows at him but obviously can never back down from a challenge] Jimmy: ['coming in?' meaning work tomorrow obvs] Janis: [when you act like you're thinking about it for much longer than you actually are 'probably, be a bit of a bad review if I'm not dying to see you the morning after, like'] Jimmy: ['could be incapable of walking, your nan got a zimmer you can borrow for a bit?'] Janis: [when you have to snort 'cos you have to hold in a louder laugh more] Jimmy: ['take that as a nah, fit is she? Gotta get it from somewhere, eh?'] Janis: ['She's only 62, so yeah, could probably take you on' 😏] Jimmy: ['bring her in for a cuppa, I'll earn a decent tip, no bother' 😉] Janis: ['ugh, you and your type'] Jimmy: ['paying customers, yeah, really turn me on when they hand me them couple of extra euros they do'] Janis: ['you're in the wrong job then' and shakes her head 'cos thinking 'bout Rio, shade] Jimmy: ['in it for the art form though, obvs' thinking about that hipster latte foam] Janis: [''course, Pete's artistry is limited to bass only, like' Jimmy: ['I can't live if I can't express myself creatively, the need lends itself to being more than a one trick pony, so burdened me' gets Pete's page up and is having a scroll and showing her things cos he weren't at the party obvs] Janis: [😏 'You are SO in love with him'] Jimmy: ['pick your own jaw off the floor and it might hit harder, mate'] Janis: ['please, I play it SO cool'] Jimmy: ['where and when?'] Janis: ['I'm pretty sure he don't know I exist so check and mate, mate'] Jimmy: ['Don't take your hand off that piece yet, Jill, 'cause here's me calling bollocks. He's mentioned you to me'] Janis: ['OMG, what did he say?!' in a scary good Grace impression, but quieter please; 'also you better not have told him my name's Jill, even worse than my actual'] Jimmy: [in a accurate Pete impression 'that girl's so... dude, your girl's really...' back to Jim voice 'wouldn't you LOVE to know, Juliet' shows her his phone where that's her name cos fave of the nicknames duh] Janis: [when you're loling at the impression but lowkey 😍 at the nickname 'cos it's shamelessly cute] Jimmy: ['I wanna be the face of that band but I ain't got the voice. You?'] Janis: [shakes head and pulls face like god no 'my mother's already tried to make us a racially ambiguous version of the Nolans, but she obviously ain't pushy enough, where's Joe Jackson when you need him, eh?'] Jimmy: [lols like that's us fucked then 'starving artist and muse it is then, baby' snaps a pic of her to make the point] Janis: [when you try and get the phone outta his hands 'cos never enough playfighting] Jimmy: [when of course you end up on top of her on the sofa like well now this is a moment RIP] Janis: [when you just go for it 'cos you can't not but then you pull back like fuck] Jimmy: [when you then have to go for it cos you didn't wanna stop and that's all you're thinking about] Janis: [back at it again on this sofa] Jimmy: [so into it, god only knows how we're stopping them rn] Janis: [Twix run bitch run] Jimmy: [barking cos are they playing or are they fighting OH PUP DO NOT WAKE THIS FAM] Janis: [well that's that ruined thanks babe, getting up so fast like 'I'll go'] Jimmy: [when you want her to stay but Bobby appears like oh hey did anyone order an even bigger cockblock so you have to be in big brother mode cos he's always lowkey scared/upset by life in general] Janis: [when you stay long enough to not freak him like who was that but then you peace so he can deal in private] Jimmy: [I hope she's got the jacket again so she don't freeze to death] Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: is he back to bed and her in the doghouse, like Jimmy: 🐶🔪🔪 say goodbye to your little mate 💔 Janis: harsh Janis: poor bobby Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: [sends a pic of Twix like a ransom photo but the newspaper be in her mouth cos nerds] Janis: 😱 Janis: I'll give you whatever you want Jimmy: anything I want? Janis: That's what I said Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby and Twix both asleep on him like okay she's safe] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [saying that he misses her and flirting on the socials so that I can] Janis: Smart thinking Janis: keep up appearances, make it look like it ain't a hostage situation Jimmy: not thick, northern Janis: like I said, impressed Jimmy: don't you wanna save your flirting for the feeds? Janis: This isn't flirting Jimmy: Nah? Janis: Nah Janis: I can do much much better than fake me Janis: obviously Jimmy: more #goals than this?! gotta call bollocks Jimmy: 🏆🏆🏆🏆 Janis: sure, as far as everyone knows, we're the it couple of the moment Jimmy: 💘 Janis: as long as all dogs and children are safe Janis: let you get a few hours, like Jimmy: you can't Jimmy: you said anything I want Janis: Well have you decided Jimmy: I'm thinking Jimmy: stick around Janis: alright Janis: I'm still walking anyway Jimmy: where to? Janis: my nan and granddads Janis: cba to go home Jimmy: you could always walk back Jimmy: know your way in Janis: look like you've got your hands full Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: can't be giving it out like you don't wanna climb through my bedroom window, girl Jimmy: balcony or nah Janis: better change names with me, boy Janis: rose by any other name and all that Jimmy: suits you better, can't help that Janis: hmm Janis: gotta think of a name for you Janis: you don't own nicknames, like Jimmy: what are you on about? it's the name your parents gave you weren't it? Janis: 😏 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: charming you are 💕 Janis: not our story Janis: cinderella would be hard to pull off, even now you've left the north Jimmy: if it could happen anywhere, it'd be the CG Jimmy: picking the ugliest out of your sister's squad though, not easy Jimmy: Mia's 🥇 duh but then who? Jimmy: might be the tall one, might be her 💀 clone Janis: 🤔 Janis: my votes for BFG Janis: 💀💀 twin too hard, the disparity is great for comedic effect Jimmy: where's your #tallgirlsolidarity babe? OMG Janis: fine, go be friends with a leprechaun Jimmy: such a friend kink you Jimmy: trying to get me invited to a sleepover or what? Janis: not at my house, thanks Janis: if you have an orgy with them we're no longer besties Jimmy: I told you before, if I wanted that it would've already happened Janis: Gross Janis: they have to have some boundaries Janis: obvs all go to the bathroom together to have a vom sesh but you know Jimmy: it's like a cult Jimmy: if they don't all fuck and they're only doing the death pact bit 💔 Janis: there's no way the 💀 ones can exert the energy and the rest wouldn't wanna get their kit off 'cos they'd get fat-shamed so Janis: unlucky Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: their nails an' all that's a 🌈🚫 Jimmy: be like 🔪🔪 Janis: 🤢 Janis: too far Jimmy: soz my dear Janis: 😒 Jimmy: come on, be my mate again Jimmy: pretty please with 🍒s on Janis: you mean it Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: you doing that behind your back like you're lying Janis: I'm suspicious Jimmy: come find out Jimmy: can't give up all my secrets to you Janis: I shouldn't Janis: might wake your dad up next time Jimmy: nowt wakes him Jimmy: garage walls are thicker than his head Janis: should do you a favour and not accept that challenge, shouldn't I Jimmy: I get it, was just a fluke and you can't break in again, yeah? Janis: please Janis: not my first rodeo Janis: and you made it so easy Jimmy: sounds fake, babe Janis: 😡 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: yeah, you just want me to come back so you can be so impressed again Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: meant to be giving me what I want Janis: only the once Janis: not good for life, use it wisely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: sooooooo Janis: am I coming or what Jimmy: do you wanna come or do you just want me to use that to make you so it's gone? Janis: 😑 Janis: hadn't thought it through that much, tbh Janis: it's your wish, I ain't interfering Jimmy: if I want you to come and keep that in my back pocket for later is that 1 favour or 2? Janis: Hmm Janis: alright Janis: I'll come and I still owe you Jimmy: should I unlock the door or let you show off? Janis: Probably just let me in Janis: I don't need it and I've got visions of the kid seeing me and 😱💀👻 now so Jimmy: and I don't need to be spending my tips getting him therapy Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: so considerate you Janis: you know Janis: and you're welcome Jimmy: might not be the shittiest mate to have Janis: 👂 Janis: sorry, can you repeat that Jimmy: I could Jimmy: but will I Janis: awh come on 😏 Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: I don't hate the idea, do I Janis: you're not a total idiot so Janis: 'course you don;t Jimmy: Stop complimenting me Jimmy: I'm gonna reckon your phone got snatched off you in a bit Jimmy: 🔪💀👻 Janis: Was just a means to compliment myself more, don't worry Jimmy: alright, fuck that, this is deffo you Janis: mhmm Janis: [does extra ass socials like people need to know she's going back] Janis: who else but your fake gf Jimmy: 💕😍💘 Jimmy: [replies that are as extra but we know there's realness underneath] Jimmy: [OMG the fire sexts can be born this day! cos remember when] Janis: [yasss] Janis: did you really just Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Jimmy: you reckon you're the only one with impressive skills? Janis: obviously not Janis: do you want everyone on your dick more though 'cos Jimmy: they ain't gonna leave me alone Jimmy: that dream's 💀💀💀 Janis: 💔 Janis: not to victim blame you but Janis: only got yourself to blame Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: and you Jimmy: can't help it if you're the best fake girlfriend I've ever had, can I? Janis: Yeah I'm so inspiring Janis: a muse, you could say Jimmy: a 🥇 muse baby Jimmy: get it right Jimmy: and send that tweet Janis: [does] Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: Come out and 🚬? Jimmy: [does but let's say he hasn't put his hoodie back on yet cos was being snuggled a bit ago so we can fully appreciate the white tee moment] Janis: [you appreciate that girl, sat on his front step like hey] Jimmy: [Getting on there as well cos always gotta sit so close 5ever] Janis: [for warmth this time sure, when it's not been that long so you don't know if you're meant to pretend the makeout didn't happen but you can't anyway so] Jimmy: [and so you can share a smoke cos god forbid you just don't have your own you coupley bastards] Janis: [sharing is caring boo] Jimmy: [it means he smokes less so i'm about it as I am about their comfortable silences] Janis: [honestly, not even hello] Jimmy: [living for it, picture him on his phone cos peeps are losing it over their posts, but with her so not being an antisocial dick] Janis: [just loling and taking the piss how they do 'so, how often are you sexting to be that good?'] Jimmy: [shrugs cos we both know he ain't done it for ages but ain't gonna say that 'like a 6 that were'] Janis: [nods, 'don't wanna give 'em everything right away, like'] Jimmy: ['they can't handle what we've already shown 'em, if I was going for it with a full 10 I'd kill your nan and we both know she's healthier than your horse'] Janis: [pushes him 'stop slagging my nan and imaginary horse, so rude'] Jimmy: ['I'm complimenting your nan and ain't about to stop, well in, me. You're only here 'cause she was asleep, like'] Janis: [PAHs, 'you ain't met her, boy; trust, you won't be getting no tips'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like challenge accepted 😏 but we're all amused af] Janis: [truly 'cos we all know what happened that time Tess showed lmao] Jimmy: [when you lowkey snuggling the bae tho cos its cold but also you want to] Janis: [rubbing his arms like he did] Jimmy: [just giving her heart eyes casually] Janis: ['wanna go in?' 'cos you're so concerned u caring hoe] Jimmy: [when you're #conflicted because you're alone out here and there's nobody cockblocking you but it's not comfortable so of course you ask her if she wants to cos always a question answered with a question] Janis: [just looking at his lips in response shameless] Jimmy: [when you're kissing her before you've even closed the door behind you cos also shameless] Janis: [get it kids] Jimmy: [use that front door to your advantage when you finally shut it but shh] Janis: [seriously shh even though you obvs don't wanna] Jimmy: [when you think you hear something so you stop for long enough to move, get back in that living room kids] Janis: [ah trusty sofa hello] Jimmy: [the mems on this sofa already, speaking of get on his lap girl cos that's a thing always and has to start somewhere] Janis: [a moment] Jimmy: [at least if you wanna be kissing constantly it'll keep you quiet cos we know he ain't usually living that life, we see you, mr no chill] Janis: ['You're a good kisser' 'cos you ain't told him that before now obvs] Jimmy: [when you can't help smiling genuinely cos nobody's told you that before and you weren't expecting it and so cute so even though you should say it back cos true you're just like 🙊] Janis: [kiss that smile] Jimmy: [get your hands in her hair boy cos you love being soft] Janis: [when you're just enjoying how all this feels] Jimmy: [you can tell she's into it so just touching and soft kisses everywhere cos there's so much bare skin to play with thanks to this outfit you can just take your time] Janis: [when you're trying so hard to keep quiet 'cos it's obvs not been like this before in any sense] Jimmy: [gotta give the nips some attention cos they've been the centre of attention all night lbr so soz girl for making quietness even harder for you but not that soz] Janis: [when all the squirming she's doing gonna feel real good for you boy] Jimmy: [everybody winning rn] Janis: ['fuck!' 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [and now everything's a little less soft because all the encouragement you need to go harder at what you're doing] Janis: [when you're just moving your hands down from around his neck 'til they're making their way under his waistband] Jimmy: [his turn to say fuck quietly but with feeling] Janis: [😏] Jimmy: [kiss that smug face boy so you shhh] Janis: [putting your finger to his lips like shh but you loling 'cos he's so cute] Jimmy: [deciding to make this touching mutual so the struggle to be quiet is too, little do you know yet lad she's a pro at keeping things hush unlike you] Janis: [can't quiet your face though even if you are trying to hide it like] Jimmy: [his turn to be like 😏] Janis: [going harder like shut up] Jimmy: [going harder cos she is and everything's a competition forever] Janis: [tryna move away 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: [use your strength soft boy I believe in you] Janis: ['boy'] Jimmy: ['what?' cos I simply must] Janis: [making eye contact and giving the LOOK to end all as you move back but closer] Jimmy: [keeping that eye contact going as you try not to be killed by the look and her everything atm] Janis: ['I've wanted to do this properly for so long' point out the obvious and not really that long but I'll allow it highkey ass] Jimmy: ['how long?' cos validate this high key needy boy] Janis: ['Since we started fake doing this, I told you, you're a good kisser'] Jimmy: ['I can top that, girl, I picked you 'cause I wanted to find out if you were' cos where's the lie] Janis: [pouts like she's fuming she's lost 'could probably call that false pretenses, you know' 😏] Jimmy: [the pouty lip bite 5eva bye cos gotta shut her up obvs haha] Janis: [#intoit Jimmy: [likewise] Janis: [when your phones are still blatantly going off and you're ignoring that shit] Jimmy: [priorities kids sod looking at your phone when you can be looking at the bae] Janis: [real better than the faaaaake] Jimmy: [you know it] Janis: [is she staying or going after like] Jimmy: [I vote she should stay then she can come to work with him when he opens up cos what a #mood the CG alone together for a bit] Janis: [wid it, no running hoe] Jimmy: [he ain't letting her leg it]

[aboundlesswombofcultivations]

t h u r s d a y    n i g h t    (w h e n    d r e a m s    c o m e    t r u e)

--- L E V   R U B I N S H T E I N

--translation of Lev Rubinshtein by Philip Metres and Tanya Tulchinsky

1

All night I was dreaming of the frontier regions of existence. Waking up, I could remember only something between water and dry land, silence and speech, sleep and waking and managed to think: "Here it is, the aesthetic of uncertainty. Here it is again..."

2

I dreamt as if someone long gone and, it seemed, completely forgotten, suddenly appeared and looked at me so attentively that I woke, my heart pounding...

3

I dreamt that I had to get up and look if she were sleeping. I woke up, and could not remember for a long time who I was thinking of. Then I remembered...

4

I dreamt that I had to hide in my shell for awhile, and then, as they say, we'll see. I woke up and thought "Well, I don't know, I don't know..."

5

I dreamt that happiness truly knew no bounds. Waking up, I thought "Well, I'll be damned..."

6

I dreamt that you only have a chance four times in life. Waking, I thought that there was surely something to this...

7

I was dreaming that the most important thing was to find the most adequate form of sympathy for each other. Then I woke up...

8

I was dreaming that the idea of a clear page is a short circuit to any consistent aesthetic experience. Then I woke up...

9

I was dreaming that one could proceed from the fact that our sense of self is a sense of self of self-created personages, existing in their own time and space. And that the starting point of such sense of self, as a matter of fact, draws us together. Then I woke up...

10

I dreamt two whole arguments in my support, but of course I could not remember them...

11

I dreamt a third argument as well. But it also remained there in the dream...

12

I dreamt of the long-awaited coming of a hero. His appearance was often gloomy, but his constant readiness to be happy was indubitable. He was impressive in his open and keen relation to reality. Waking up, I thought that there was nothing to add to this.

13

I dreamt the rare flitters of fading hopes. Neither bright, nor warm, they silently smoldered down in the windless deeps of the consciousness.

I was so used to them, my tired brain almost failed to acknowledge them, my head would no longer lift at their sight, my nostrils would no longer inflate, my pulse would no longer quicken. It seemed that nothing could break my despondent calm. It seemed that nothing forbode any change...

14

I dreamt of an ancient park with trees immersed in thought. Along its shaded alley, a lonely figure moved towards me. I noticed it from far off and almost immediately guessed who it was. But you've probably guessed as well...

15

I dreamt that they were obviously not alone there. Someone prowled in the night without a sound, like a thief. "Quiet-whispered Heinrich with his lips pursed-you didn't hear anything?" Both listened. Silence ensued again. It was as if lightning sudde nly sliced through the dark...

16

I dreamt of creaking floorboards and balding rugs of a small boarding house on the shore of Lake Bodenskoe. The weather during these days was rainy and unpleasant. The mistress of the boarding house was a good-natured and flabby woman about fifty years old. The table usually sat about ten or twelve guests. They were of different nationalities, habits, and interests. There was nothing to talk about, and lunch was stale. Boredom and despair reigned at the table.

Still, one of the guests did grab my attention. He was a young, sickly-looking Italian, always silent, who would only rarely cast around an obscure glance, as if something known only to him had momentarily awakened him from his usual stupor...

17

I dreamt of a massive gray Ministry of Navigation building. It was located just a couple steps from my old apartment. And my windows looked right out onto the same despondent square. And along my windows each morning and each night strode the faceless chain of clerks. If I could have thought then...

18

I dreamt of little Kolya's face, happy for no reason, and the concentrated faces of his family, and the impatient face of the driver, and all the other faces-relatives, acquaintances, those barely known, and those not known at all. All of them diffused in the dim consciousness of Konstantin, merged into one quickly revolving spot, and he fell, as if cut down, to the wet asphalt of an empty train platform that morning.

19

I dreamt the situation was such that if a clear and quivering voice suddenly appeared amid the inarticulate din of the crowd, it, too, would be lost in the gnashing. Those who would manage to hear it would only exchange looks, nod knowingly to each other, and that would perhaps be the end, if not for the

20

I dreamt that we all had to live by touch: here a loophole, here a fence, there a solid wall. And our life passes, from decision to doubt, from a nod to an interjection, from dream to toil...

21

I dreamt a light went out somewhere in the middle. And the voice crying out in the wilderness could no longer be heard. The warmth had dispersed, never to return. Only glass glancing at glass, fleeting, inarticulate...

22

I dreamt of a caustic smoke and my own death mask. What will we give as a momento? What will we grab at the last moment? Paradise is not for us, so we don't walk in pairs. It's so basic it's not worth explaining...

23

I dreamt my heart's pulled out from its sheath each night. What do we know? What can we do? Whoever knows, be silent...

24

I dreamt of the emptiness of the sky. We both felt lost in it. You said: "The swallow over there will remember us until we die..."

25

I dreamt we were saying goodbye on the bridge. We are tired, we'll take a rest... All nature's actions happen for a reason. No one will be delighted to receive us. Neither of us knows what will happen tomorrow, or the day after. Our final meeting. We are saying goodbye to each other on the bridge...

26

I dreamt he was buried in a grave, out of his mind. With a long flame the candle burned recklessly...

27

I dreamt he lay down on the sand forever. Who could understand the earthly bustle, if not him? That nothing is what it seems... That what's said is beyond us. And here above the earth our dear comrade soars... We'll also go the way water wouldn't flow. Where brains fall off, and shrieks, and pitch dark. We'll go as well--it's time, it's time for us to leave this home. We wanted to live, and this is what it's come to...

28

I dreamt at dawn of my balcony all twined with snow, overflowing with something crimson, and my stallion's nape marked with murderous fangs, the vengeful glare of wolves-- luminous fish sparkling, then disappearing--as they head for the woods.

Over my shoulder I heard my rifle's parting cry, a crazed laugh of a fallen animal's shriek.

My dying horse, a white steam through a wide-open door, an unending blizzard, a ski trail overgrown with snow...

29

I dreamt my scarcely breathing ship was sinking, while in the storming space I was engaged in a miraculous prayer...

30

I was dreaming of nothing much-- just numbness and endurance. Let's hide our beaks in our plumage at this crossroads of winds. We know how much this is worth, and that too. But who'll be in charge of our stage, when we take up the pilgrim's staff and bag? And how do we proceed in such mist, not for an hour, not for a day, but for a thousand years-- our contempt stuck in our pocket, tet a tet with the cold wind?

31

I dreamt as if they were running--my remaining days, looming ahead, while I was left behind. The quiver of six transparent wings revealed myself to me, and I woke up...

32

I was dreaming he was right here, sitting on my bed. He was here, clear as day, and yet he wasn't here. Who knows better than him that all has changed, and there's no place for hope or an unbiased mind.

The quiver of six transparent wings revealed myself to me, and I woke up...

33

I was dreaming at dawn of a half-demon, half-corpse staring with its many eyes out of a gilded frame. He said: "Don't wait in vain--a miracle won't happen. If you have a place to run to, then get out of here." He said: "Follow me, I'll show you the way." With a heavy head I woke up...

34

I was dreaming of a balance of paper, a memory gone to sleep. Lulled by the song of dripping moisture I let slip another spring. My tongue was nursing the stingy definition of life's meaning. But then long ray fell on my blanket, and I woke up...

35

I was dreaming that dreams bring relief, yet take something from you forever. And then I woke up...

36

I dreamt of a phrase: "my Deep Throat muse."

After I woke up, I lay with my eyes open for a long time...

37

I dreamt that retelling dreams you don't remember is a kind of occupation.

Waking up, I thought, "why not?"

38

I dreamt that I didn't care who cried because of which onion. Waking up, I thought, "I don't care."

39

I dreamt that if "today's Thursday" is said on Thursday, then it means that today is Thursday. If "today's Thursday" is said on Friday, then it's either or lie or a mistake, or something else.

Waking up, I thought that, really, what is said is as important as when it is said...

40

I dreamt as if we were sitting here and doing the same thing that we're doing now. Waking up, I thought that there really was nothing unusual about this...

41

I dreamt an uncountable number of various possibilities.

Waking up, I tried for a long time to remember something, anything...

42

On the very brink between dream and waking, I dreamt what whatever exists, does indeed exist.

Waking up, I thought: "That's how it should be..."

#poetry #L E V R U B I N S H T E I N #between thursday and friday #surrealist #dreams