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imerdwarf · 3 years

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I've Given All I Can

Summary: You and Bucky feel as though you're pulling apart from each other, your worse fears come true one night at a party but is it too late?

Warnings: Low self esteem, angst, language, Bucky is an idiot, tears, heartbreak, implied smut (but nothing explicit) at the end 💜

Author's Notes: Happy evening 😍 this is for @the-ss-horniest-book-club's Drunk Drabbles 💜

Bucky has that unreadable look in his eyes again as he watches you change clothes. Your jeans feel too tight around your waist and your shirts pull across your stomach, accentuating the bulge from your food baby from all the binge eating junk you've eaten the past few weeks to help you feel better.

In truth, eating like that made you feel worse about yourself. You thought of yourself as the worst human alive because you couldn't stop it, you couldn't stop anything from going wrong with your body and your mind was in overdrive.

Your self esteem issues were eating away at you, you felt helpless as if you were screaming into a void alone and nobody was around to help you. Your mind would play the cruelest tricks. For example, how your mind would pick up on the facial expressions your boyfriend Bucky would give other women in the compound. He looks at them how he used to look at you when you first started dating, and it's been a while since you have seen that look from him.

For Bucky it was completely the opposite though, he's felt this distance between the two of you for a while and figured it was because you weren't interested in him anymore. He knows of the stress you've been under, how your insecurities are eating away at your thoughts and he longs for the day he sees your beautiful smile again.

He just knows it won't happen anytime soon and quite frankly, he doesn't even know what he should do anymore. Trying to talk to you was impossible because you would only grunt in response or not pay any attention to what he was asking or you would just change subjects which has been the case lately.

He doesn't know what do to, he wishes you would just tell him what he needs to do to make you love him again. He stares blankly at you as you change into jeans and a sweater, making no attempt to look away when you catch his stare and that look on his face.

Bucky stands and leaves you alone in the room, the door closes behind him and it's then the waterworks come to life. Tears roll freely down your cheeks as you crumble to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest, you rock back and forth feeling your heart break in your chest. You would give anything to have Bucky wrap his arms around you right now, it just seems he feels disgusted being near you and touching you.

While you were crying in your shared room, Bucky made his way to the kitchen where he saw Sam sitting on the stool sipping a coffee and scrolling through some files on the glass tablet.

"Rough mission?" Bucky asks, taking a seat opposite him and playing with the strings on his sweatpants.

"You could say that," Sam coughs into his bent elbow and looks over at Barnes to notice that worrying look in his eyes, "what's wrong?" He adds with a frown.

"Nothin'" Bucky sighs and runs a hand over his face. He looks tired and almost defeated.

"Come on man, I'm good for some things ya know!" Sam chuckles to encourage the man.

"It's just me and Y/N, things aren't... so good lately, feel like we're drifting apart." Bucky sniffles, saying it out loud was almost reality.

"Well, as your friend, I would advise you to sit down and talk about things, tell each other what's on your mind and hug it out even." Sam has a point but he doesn't understand that Bucky has tried to talk to you about this in the past and got nowhere. Now you were barely speaking.

"It's not that simple Sam," Bucky sighs and shakes his head.

Now it's Sam's turn to sigh, "nothing ever is simple. Just act like an adult and talk like adults, it's gonna be alright, man! Anyway, I got to go. I have a support group to motivate, let me know how things go." Sam grabs his backpack from the stool next to him and leaves quickly, leaving Bucky to think over his irrational plan that he thinks might work.

1 week later

Tonight is the night of one of Stark's extravagant parties and everyone is invited. It's also the night Bucky has a plan that he wants to execute to hopefully bring the two of you back together again.

He stands in front of the floor length mirror and adjusts his bowtie for the umpteenth time. His black suit is tailored to fit him perfectly and he knows how much you love him in black.

Your own dress was a gift from Natasha. It showed a lot of cleavage and thigh, normally, a dress like this was not something you would have chosen.

And by the time you got downstairs to the party, the room was already crowded ranging from the less fortunate to the billionaires. You had to shimmy past a couple of people to reach the bar, you were hoping your dress might spark some interest from Bucky tonight but he's nowhere to be seen.

You take a seat on the barstool and order a martini, the bartender hands you the drink and you thank him with a smile, spinning on your seat to sip your drink and scan the room. A boisterous laugh grabs your attention and your eyes follow the offensive sound. Your eyes narrow in on the gorgeous blonde standing in the corner, but it's the man she's with that makes your heart drop into your stomach.

It's Bucky. And her hands are holding onto his biceps as he presumably tells her one of his jokes. He's smiling, he's laughing and it's the happiest you have seen him for a while. Was he miserable because of you? Were you holding him back from happiness? The scene unfolding was answering all of your questions and more when Bucky takes her hand in his and pulls her to the dance floor to dance alongside the other 'couples'. They look so happy and so lost in each others eyes that your eyes well up and the room feels like it's closing in and suffocating you.

You can't breath, you need air and fast. You slam your glass down on the bar and stand up, taking off your heels so you can get out of here even quicker. You don't excuse yourself as you barge past the happy smiling attendees.

Wanda sees everything unfold from where she was stood. She saw the way Barnes had approached the blonde woman and started flirting with her as soon as you arrived at the party. She also sees he's none the wiser of the fact you've already left the scene upset and heartbroken.

Wanda approaches the blind idiot and pulls him away from the woman he's with. "what the -"

"I could ask you the same question Barnes! What the hell do you think you're playing at? You're cheating on Y/N now? My best friend?" Wanda is seething, and the urge to punch the smirk of his face is harder to resist.

"Did it work?" He asks with a smug grin looking around the party.

"Oh yeah, if your plan was to break her heart and make her cry, it worked perfectly!"

Bucky frowns and his lip quivers slightly, "nononono! That wasn't the plan! Fuck, where did she go?"

"Who knows." Wanda shrugs, she wouldn't tell him even if she did.

Bucky rushes past her and starts to look in every room until he finds you slouched against the wall of one of the vacant offices down the hall.

"Baby!" Bucky rushes in and kneels next to you, his big arms immediately pull you into his chest. You try to pull away but his grip is too strong and you end up sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. "I'm so sorry baby."

You pull your face away to breathe, your palms flat against his chest, "you're leaving me," you croak, looking up at him through wet eyelashes. The room around you feels like it's spinning, this feels like a really bad dream.

Bucky staggers for a moment, digging his fingertips further into your flesh. "Absolutely not baby! No way! I'm so sorry you gotta believe me doll, I was just trying to make you jealous because I thought you weren't interested in me anymore and-"

"I thought you weren't interested in me!" You argue, fighting back the fresh tears threatening to fall, "you haven't touched me in so long I didn't know what to think."

"Then it's my fault doll, I read the whole situation wrong and I should have talked to you like an adult, please let me make it up to you and I promise I'll show you just how much I love you and want to touch you." His nose nudges against yours and his face dips slightly to capture your lips. His lips are soft and you quietly moan into his mouth as he spins you both around and presses you up against the door ready to make good on his promise.

Taglist: @smokeybluebrooke-lyn @pinkdiamond1016 @whatrambles @bestofbucky @ladyeliot

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xeunoais · 4 years

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You’re All I Need

(A/N: i know i haven’t been active for a while, i had a lot of stuff going on at the time but i think i’m officially back now. and i’ve had this in my drafts for the longest time and i finally got some inspiration to finish it, so here it is! enjoy!)

Summary: You have a really bad day and then Shawn comes home from the studio and make you feel better.

You sat there completely blank. Fingers resting on the keyboard and eyes staring at what was supposed to be a word document showing hours of work, instead, it was your desktop wallpaper.

You shut your eyes, swallowing the golf ball-sized lump in your throat and counted to three. When every breath didn't feel like a heavy truck pushing down onto your chest, you set aside all the work littered across the kitchen counter and shifted focus to stop yourself from screaming out of frustration. And the perfect way to do just that - cleaning.

Cleaning always made stressful moments feel less of a weight. When you were young, probably in like middle school, your mother found you in the middle of a full clean mode of your room.

Back then it was all because of Toby, your first-ever crush, who broke your heart by declaring his own crush to your best friend. And ever since then, cleaning was your go to for diffusing pressure building moments from life's road bumps.

After the first three plates, two bowls and several cutlery pieces, the urge to scream had subsided. Rinsing off the soapy water from the last remaining glass you went to put it on the drying rack when it slipped from your grasp smashing to several pieces; big and small, all over the kitchen floor.

Clutching the counter, you counted to three once again before carefully grabbing the pieces and throwing them in the trash. But, of course, nothing had been going right today. So when the corner of the glass cut your index finger, the desire to scream or even cry became completely non-existent. Instead, all that was left was a sense of numbness.

You weren't sure how long you had been sitting on the floor staring at your bloody finger, but you gathered it was a while given that Shawn had gotten home from the studio. He called out your name, stopping in his tracks as he saw you in the kitchen on the floor.

"Baby, what happened?” He asked, rushing over.

You didn't answer. He asked again, this time in a more calmer tone. But still, no response. He rushed out of the kitchen down the hallway.

And in the blink of an eye Shawn returned with the first-aid kit. He silently took care of the cut, but you could see in his eyes he was struggling with not pushing for answers. The only thing he knew was his girlfriend of two years was on the floor nursing a medium-sized cut on her finger, all while looking like she was about to break down at any second. You couldn't imagine how many thoughts he had running through his mind.

As Shawn left to put away the kit, you slowly brought yourself to your knees, recollecting what little composure you could after a miserable day. However, when your eyes glanced toward the right kitchen cabinet it blew up the last piece of composure left to collect.

"Honey, what are you doing?" Shawn asked, his voice sounding like an echo from miles away, even though he was standing right beside you. "I'm cleaning. I accidentally got blood on your cabinets.”

Shawn knelt down, "I can do it".

He tried taking away the wet towel dipped in cleaning product from your hands, but you clutched it tighter, scrubbing even harder against the door until your knuckles turned white.

"It's okay. I'll clean it later. Let's just go sit down on the couch, yeah.” He softly said, offering his hand to help you up.

The lump in your throat had doubled in size; feeling now more like a basketball, by the time you made it to the couch. Shawn sat opposite on the coffee table looking more worried than ever as you avoided his gaze and placed your head in your hands.

"Hey, look at me. Tell me what happened".

Shaking your head, Shawn reached for your hand and you could feel your lip tremble once contact was made. Looking up as your eyes met his own, your eyes glistened with tears. It was at that moment when you finally broke. You couldn’t hold back your tears anymore.

"It's just been a really shitty day. I lost all my work, hours of research gone. The heel on my favourite black heels broke as I was getting out of the car. I had the worst cup of coffee in my life. And before I broke a glass and cut my finger I got a notification reminding me it's our anniversary today which I completely forgot about, and I didn't even get you anything and now I feel like the worst girlfriend ever.”

Shawn pulled you into a hug, holding you close as you cried.

"You're far from a terrible girlfriend, and if it makes you feel any better I forgot a gift too.”

You looked up at him, completely falling in love with him all over again as he tried to make you feel better.

"Listen, we've still got a few hours left to turn this day around. So how about you go and take a nice, long hot bath. Then after changing into something more comfortable meet me back in the living room.”

You nodded, slowly making your way to the bathroom for a bath that helped soothe aching muscles and hopefully silencing a few more tears.

Venturing back into the living room, Shawn had moved the coffee table to the side, creating more space for a mountain of blankets and pillows which all pointed towards the TV.

"I see I won't be getting that back anytime soon.” Shawn smiled, taking in how his YOUTH hoodie shallowed you in the cutest way.

"It's my favorite, plus you did say to change into something more comfortable.”

"That I did.” He kissed your forehead, whispering.

"It looks better on you, anyway.” His voice along with the combination of bare skin and cool air sent a sonic wave of shivers throughout your body, which you choose to ignore, for now at least.

"What's all this?" You said, pointing to the scene in front.

He grinned, gently clapping his hands and leading you to the blanket and pillow sanctuary.

"I thought we could just relax and turn a bad day into something good. We can put your favorite movie on. And I ordered some takeout with a side of your favourite dessert, which should be here any minute".

"Shawn, you didn't-".

"Yes, I did. I know you've been stretching yourself thin lately, and I can tell you still feel guilty about forgetting our anniversary. But the only thing I need is you,” He moved a piece of hair from your eyes.

"Nothing else matters.”

"So you're not mad at me?” He smiled, thumb caressing your cheek.

"I have nothing to be mad about, so I want you to stop worrying. Because tonight is all about relaxing, junk food and lots of cuddles from your very handsome boyfriend".

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him closer. The kiss, like always, sparked a rainbow of fireworks. And there was nothing better than the way Shawn tasted or leaving each other breathless. Leaning your head against his chest, you exhaled, taking in the peace of having him hold you close.

The end

(A/N: I hope you enjoy this. feedback is highly appreciated! and btw i know its not much but i think its cute lol and i am currently working on something else at the moment, but i needed to get this out of the way first!)

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes x y/n #shawnpeterraulmendes #shawn mendes blurb #shawn #mendes #shawn x reader #shawn peter raul mendes #shawnblr #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes x you

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 4 years

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"I'm real proud of you, You know. We didn't know who they were but we could have been real hurt," little Tiny Queen Girl just almost 4 years old, hands on hips just telling me how it was. How she felt.

My Little co-member in our Army of Two.

Lord Blesses us with the moat precious for such a short amount of time.

This idiot shot her and when he realized he had shot a small child and she was in the hospital on life support, he went and kidnapped her from the hospital.

Finished killing her and hid her body in a freezer at his house.

It wasn't for years later that he thought the coast was clear and he placed her body partially in a trash bag next to a dumpster in that Compton neighborhood.

He didn't want the body to not be found. He wanted it to so his message was clear -- "No ni**ers in his neighborhood"

She was labeled only as missing by the family, at least to me anyway. They didn't want me to get crazy and go on a killing spree. Her brother joked that was what little 3 year old Laquisha Antuana Jefferson would want.

After the Rodney King Trial, I took racism hard. I took it differently. No longer could I be on top of it and stop it.

It was here to stay and there was no changing it. I was glad I lived in a mostly white suburb because I felt i could talk to the few African Americans at my school and make sure they were doing okay, individually and not have to worry so much like i did in NYC.

There were less. So less could get hurt and i closed my mind off to the rest of the world.

7 weeks before i was called to Compton they found Laquisha Antuana Jefferson by that dumpster behind the 711 Chevron.

My mom thought it would be good because she was shot just 6 blocks from the race track.

Maybe I could do something.

I bought him a house in a white suburb. I got him transferred to a predominantly white neighborhood and made him promise his entire family and anyone he associated with would never kill or go near a black person again.

He just had to pay bills in a Beverly Hills home.

If he broke the rules he would be killed but i didn't tell him that. I just told him he would move out and it would be grave.

The house is still in my name and he never did break the rules.

But he hadn't killed just Laquisha Antuana Jefferson, he had killed over 700 others.

This i didn't know or understand or I would have had him killed.

He was black so I couldn't understand how he would say African American children were niggering up the neighborhood or "bone thugging the street" part of me didn't believe he killed Laquisha Antuana Jefferson but the whole of me couldn't deny he was capable.

Her whole death was horrific and hard to believe. Who would do such a thing and to such a precious child?! I loved her with my whole being, everyone did. There wasn't anyone i loved or respected more than that child.

I had a nervous break down for three weeks. I visited all the places she had been and I cried the whole time. I was miserable.

Queen Elizabeth II had to come fetch me and get me awake, see there was more life to live and Laquisha Antuana Jefferson wouldn't want me so upset and she believed what happened although I couldn't wrap my head around it, She could.

So she bugged his house and set speakers in it and we tortured him. Part of me thought it was wrong but it made me feel so much better, healed even and brought me joy.

Could you imagine Queen Elizabeth II egging and toilet papering a house!!?? Well we both sat in the car while Prince Harry and William and Princess Diana did it

I owned it and still do so it was alright with me.

Princess Diana painted a red bloody swastika on the door and Prince Andrew hung a white paper mache man made from reprinted newspaper clippings of the people he had killed from his garage.

It gave me a sense of pride. I knew that my little Royal Army did just what my co-conspirator in our Army of Two would had wanted. It was perfect retribution for Little Queen Laquisha Antuana Jefferson. The reincarnated Queen Nefertiti.

As Princess Diana returned to the limo, laughing, I said "thank you, I have never been more blessed than I am just right at this moment. I don't even want to leave. I want to sit and stare all night"

About an hour later, a patrol car with its lights on came up behind us and rapped his knuckles on the window. "Oh you're all white good. Does anyone know what happened here tonight or were you all just driving by?"

"Well see Its just..." Oh in the pit of my stomach I felt bad.

"Oh Sabrina you're all here. Good."

"Well see me and my friends were just driving past, I wanted to show the Queen the luxury of Beverly Hills and the good neighborhoods here and well we saw all this and thought we might want to stay and catch the vandals in the act in case they came back" I hung out the window and looked around "nope all good"

Princess Diana took to a snort of laughter midway through my speech and tried to cover it with a fake sneeze. Then a cough and a mere sound of strangling herself.

"Hey miss! Are you alright?!"

"Oh that's Princess Di"

"Too much champagne it went down the wrong way÷"

"Yeah I gotta laugh at her, sometimes she's much too silly"

"Well take a look at my house! That's serious enough for you!"

"Oh God! William help me! This is much to much!" And she leaped forward and buried her head in his chest so she could laugh freely.

"Oh is she crying?!"

"Oh she will be fine" I was relaxed and drunk myself and wow how easy i found it to lie! We could get away with anything! Even murder! Nope! I told myself we must'nt lie. I just got too carried away and didn't speak soundly enough. I said all I was supposed to but much too much so it was actually a lie! But I must'nt have to be tooo careful, After all I did just buy him a house didn't I? Even so that wasn't the right way to be and I felt surrendered to guilt.

"Well I say, I say do y'all want to come in?! I've said it three times but yet no one is to answer!"

"Oh yes. Please move. Lets show off this mini mansion bought just for you" I opened the door and Queen Elizabeth II slid out quickly behind me

"Oh it feels so good to get out and stretch! I haven't gotten out since well id gotten in it!"

I snorted drunk laughter "Oh yes we have been truly blessed to be in this limo"

"So shall we?" He offered the crook of his arm for my hand to take which I did "I don't want y'all stumbling all over, you ole drunk things!" The queen had rejected his arm and allowed Princess Diana to take it. And i felt suddenly less callous. I felt sober and somber. Walking up to the house we just destroyed wasn't the problem. It was his ability to take over the situation with peasantry and take two drunken women into his home. The "goblin" hung from his garage blowing in the wind, saying all that he was accused of. In the dark, suddenly I imagined myself as a black woman. I thought that soon i would be inside and i could puke and wash my face and still take a shit if i needed to. My nervous tummy did that.

"Here you two stand here and hold yourself up if you need to. I'll be right back. No no I meant each other. I wouldn't take my face off him but i peeked a glance at Princess Diana and she was pleasantly smiling as ever. Still having fun. Queen was patiently pleased as well. The boys seemed fine looking around at all the had done. "You know i didn't kill that kid. You know that right?"

"What?!?! What the Hell did you say?!?"

Princess Diana grabbed me and put her arm around me and put her finger to her lips and Queen Elizabeth II put on her black leather gloves

"Oh i suppose you didn't hear me, i said "let me get my key out" it will be just a moment" he bent at the waist "oh it seems someone put gum in the lock. Let me go out back and hopefully i can get in"

I watched him and heard the back gate click "did he say about the key twice?!" Princess Diana nodded solemnly. "He didn't say anything about killing a precious black kid?"

"NO!! SHH!"

"Hey you know i been praying to Jesus a lot ever since i put that girl out" the lights for the front porch turned off. I let out a giant terrified scream!! Princess Diana slapped her cupped hand over my mouth instantly. I nodded and breathed in. She removed her hand and wiped my germs away. On his wall. -.- good DNA to prove ive been here in case they aren't seeing the truth. Not that anyone would check that place though for sure.. Maybe i ought to pee in the bushes?? Thank God Shaquille O'Neal stayed in the car. Maybe i could light this house on fire and send him smoke signals before he gets stabbed in the neck!

The door suddenly swung open "WELCOME TO MY HOME!" he spread his arms and stood back. Like a Royal Butler "i will even bow!" And he did so. "I'm not drunk. Not yet. But I did take a couple swigs of this, to catch up you want?"

"No thanks I'll pass" princess Diana put her palm out

He pleaded

"No I've got the boys and mom's already drunk and so someone has to be able to watch them. She will drink tho. She's a real drunkard especially with guests. She swishes it between her teeth, says it gets her drunk faster" wow we were all gonna die. But hopefully we wasn't gonna feel it. "Sabrina i feel you and i hoped you weren't right, but it's all here. The writing is on The wall. This is a beautiful home."

He was towering over me "this is the nigger you want" and i was fuckonf terrified. He was staring into my eyes with possessive lust and i looked back in terror. I was trapped between the fireplace and him

"Uhm sir?" He tuned to her and slipped his flask into his pocket. Idk why but Princess Diana and I both saw Freddie Kruger instead of a police man in uniform. She stifled her scream better than i did. I played the fireplace scraped me. And i was told to sit and i did.

"Excuse me, i have to take this" Queen Elizabeth II had brought in her satellite phone and she went to the far end near the bottom of the stairs to talk to Shaq.

"Is it Snoop?"

"Oh no. The man in the car. Much better than smoke signals!!" I squeaked

"Oh are you hurt? Let me see that for a second"

"Oh uh sure" I let him lift my leg into his lap but kept it straight so it would not go to his crotch and put my hand between my kegs to hold my short party skirt down to protect my vagina.

"Oh a prude are ya?"I wondered if he said that out loud. NO one seemed to notice I felt alone and I felt scared. I wondered if he left a gaping hole in Laquisha Antuana Jefferson. I hoped she was dead when he did or at least the fear killed her... If she had any. I hoped she did for her sake

"Oh don't look sad! You'll be alright"

"Yeah because I'm old..." My eyes drifted to the Queen, "and big enough" i would take one for the team but i was gonna fight first. If i had to. Just keep my eyes open and my ears ---

"All i can tell you is that she is seeing truth and all is alright." She looked up at me "or was. I must go. Please stand by"

"Was that Snoop?"

Oh dear God i wish she would quit saying that. We were all gonna die. He grabbed my chin and stuck his tounge in with a French kiss. Okay let's die first. Much better on that.

"Uh yes. Was it Snoop?" I removed my leg and put my knees together and pulled my skirt to cover them both.

He reached down, grabbed my ankle and pulled up my leg again

"Oh you're so gentle!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you she has a fiancee" warned the Queen then she turned to check on the boys.

"Oh is he white?" He asked twice. In our culture we didn't speak of race so we all remained silent to his quest.

He turned to me "oh just one more" I pulled back

"Ouch! This thing is poking me!" I lied. I was scared. In my ways of life i didn't reject people. I distract. I dont like to be put in those situations. And the Queen had my back. We just needed to leave. "Queen please this house is attack-- guh ugh" somehow puke was on my breath although I hadn't yet, his tounge must had gotten my gag reflex as he kissed me rudely

"Ugh" I cursed him and had disgust in my face. "Im not into snoop. He's married and i am almost" he had fingered me during his kiss it seems or he was imagining it i wasnt sure but i seemed unaltered between my legs but the next kiss brought promises. I put my foot down and slid over.

"Snoop is? To who?"

"Shaquille!! I mean Shawntee!! You met her she came to this house with us!"

"What oh. Oh. Yeah get off. I guess i was jealous i thought you were fucking him. So who are you about to be married to, huh?"

I just kept seeing dead bodies and my heart was going to kill me. Inside i was screaming loudly we got to get out. It was as urgent as i had set a smoke signal. In my mind I saw the limo and I beat on the glass next to Shaquille's head. Maybe that would do the trick. I was sitting on the fire place after all. I saw a satellite view of the limo driver door opening and I resurrected back into Hell.

"Huh? What did you say?" I asked drowsily.

"Ah man! Y'all are drunk!! I gotta catch up! Now wait where is my flask?"

I saw in my mind Queen come to me and say "oh no she has a heart condition and touch my chest to gain a proper rhythm. I was dying and she knew.

That's what I get for pretending to be a drunk black woman alone in his home with him. I bent forward and breathed rapidly. Sweat dripping off me.

"Oh no Sabrina is coming down we must take her home"

"Here drink its bourbon" I did and felt hourly sick.

"Its sweet huh?"

The phone rang again "What is going on?!?! I got Sabrina beating on my glass and you two are all stand by?!?! Are you two in trouble?!?"

"Yes she is dearie. Every thing is fine. I'll see you... Next week? That all sounds fine"

"What is that nigger doing to you!?! I'll kill him! I've rang the phone twice already now!!"

"Oh yes. Please. The first. That sounds lovely. Soon. Soon. Yes i tell you the week will pass before you know it"

"Now? You want me to come now?"

"Absolutely! Of course!" She said angrily.

"Mom! You're drunk!!" Scolded Princess Diana. And nodded towards him

"Oh yes Please dearie you know just how it is --"

"Im coming now. Keep on talking. I'm killing this nigger!"

"Me first!" I rose the flask. "Oh here. I can't drink this shit"

"Oh yeah mixing liquor that may not be good. Who is she talking to? What y'all gonna have tea or something? Can i come?"

"Hey have you ever been to a hospital to see a little girl?"

His eyes looked at me in alarm

"About 6 weeks ago? She dead."

The doorbell rang while he looked at me in horror when i said the time frame. The bell rang again and he got up.

"And did you place her body into a trash bag?" I slurred.

"Shaquille! The greatest basketball player of all time! What you doing driving a limo?!"

"Oh you know. A favor to the Queen! Come on girls! Lets go! I got basketball tomorrow and i can't be out this late I still got to drive you all home then go to Vegas"

"No snoop I dont need no help i got this." I waved my arms drastically in the air and did not move my ass

"Come on girls Lets move!"

"Shaquille just pick her up, she's being a slut. Don't worry he's married too. To my -- mom! What in the hell get off the phone!! Come on let's go!"

"Shouldn't we call 911 to report this"

"Ah. No I am a cop and I don't mind as long as it was white people and I know it was because of the swastika"

"How many people have you killed with a plastic bag"

"Come on shh what is with you?"

"You're my legs! Lets move forth!" I announced then whispered "let's get away from this murderous uhhhh town" i got scared and kissed Shaquille

"Don't kiss me! What's going on with you?!?"

"Idk you!!" Was my reply.

"See? Slut" was Princess Diana's smooth comment as she passed. "Come along boys" she said beautifully

"Oh yeah and she fell -- by my fireplace isn't it exquisite?'"

"Oh yeah. You were being raped and all you could do was sit there? What's going on wit' you?!?!"

"Don't forget you belong in jail for killing that little girl!!" I accused and pointed as the door closed quietly. "He's drunk too he don't know. Come on Shaggy! To the Mystery va -- uh limo!"

"Who the hell is shaggy?! Which one of us?!"

"You Shaquille -- shaggy and he always has to carry scoobs the dog"

Princess Diana burst out laughing. "This is a conversation I expect to have with one of the boys! Not the two of you!"

"Well you get to carry the Royal Slut! Can you imagine the words that would be spoken at the police station tomorrow?!?!"

"Who gives a shit? Hes a piece of shit" stomped the Queen

"Well,from what he said to us. No one is gonna believe him anyway. He sounds like a complete doofus and a near rapist. Oh Sabrina that was brave asking those questions!"

"Oh I figured we would die anyway" i took off running to the car.

"What was with that shirt anyway? Didn't he really look like Freddie Kruger?"

"Was he really wearing that!?! I thought I was going crazy and your mom's black gloves didn't help at all i thought for sure we would all die!!"

"And you for real kissed me don't ever do that again. You know who I'm with"

"I panicked all I saw were lips and a face this close to mine and I thought it was him and I was scared too death!! I thought give in, it would go easier on me!! Its not my fault you're wearing a red shirt!! All I saw were lips!! But thank you for not kissing me back!! That was real gentlemanly of you like! And I can see why he just kept kissing me. I think he kisses allot of dead bodies as a matter of fact and he didn't even notice I wasn't responding. Like that woman that was strangled and had ligature marks all pink and he said. He said. Now you're all white and pretty like your vagina"

"Now You listen to me -- you get in this car this instant! He is standing in the drive way looking at you and me. In!" The queen just shoved me in the limo as i climbed blindly in and Princess Diana dragged me in the rest so the Queen could get in.

"Mom!!"

"Oh so nice to meet you!! Thanks again dearie!! Yoo hoo bye to you!!"

The Queen Elizabeth II relaxed as we got onto the freeway and further away from Beverly Hills. She rolled down the partition "to the ghetto, please sir" Shaquille stepped on the gas harder. "Then we will all feel a little bit better. Get away from this trashy ass place!"

We all looked at her like wtf

"I know! The irony of it!"

And we laughed joyously.

"Y'all were in there 45 full minutes now what did you find!?"

Velma? Queen Elizabeth II

Daphne? Princess Di

Freddy? Well half was Harry and the other Willaim since after all, they were just half pints in 1993.

Laquisha Antuana Jefferson died far too young.

3 days later i had a heart attack and a stint was placed in my chest which later failed in 1997.

I can't handle racism. I can't handle the pain and suffering of innocent people.

I'm not like all the rest of you. I talk to the dead. And sometimes I'd rather be there than anywhere.

My days are long and hard. And sometimes I don't want to live any more.

I'm tired of loving and I'm tired of caring and not receiving anything proper in return.

So for someone like me, just a white girl in a wheel chair. Black Lives Matter marches and people being out and saying it and being seen supporting it.

For little Queens like Laquisha Antuana Jefferson, they were everything. She was out in 1991, she would escape and run down the street sometimes naked in her little wooden sandals with white leather straps.

"Girl! You need a shirt!"

"´hey i know you! You're my Army of Two! I didn't have time to get dressed. I knew the door was opening and. I had to escape! They keep me locked in you know but i can't miss this! Im all about Black Pride and Beauty!"

"Well let's cover some of that up, Miss Queen Nefertiti, you want a pink shirt or black?"

"Oh no!! There he is!! Hide me!!" This tiny child grabbed a shirt off the table, slipped it over her head and dove under the table in front of my legs. "Is he coming?"

He was going straight... So i called him over "miss queen Nefertiti just ran off on me like she own me. Like i don't have my own friends"

"Well what are you doing?"

"Well looking for her now?"

"No i mean what are you supposed to be doing besides looking for her?"

"Oh just meeting my friends to go on the prowl. See?" He lifted his shirt and showed his Panther Pride most people hid in case of cops or white supremacist "i got one, too. He tapped the table

"I got one, too!" She piped up. She knew not to run and hide in the streets and had some hope if she had one she could attend like it was a licence to prooowl.

"Shh... Do you hear something? What's that scuffling? It sounds like her wooden shoes! Do you got her?!?"

I nodded quietly

"What?! Where?!?"

"So i mean if i see her do you think you or your parents i mean your ma would mind she sit here for a spell while you're out on the road?"

"Aw man! I want to prowl. Aw shit! I said it again!" Ahe grabbed my leg and held on tight

So i told him silently.

"I mean sure uhh if you don't mind!"

"Well i got two little boys over there having lunch. Thwyre on break but usually they are over in this chalk lined area."

"I want to prowl!! I want to go meow!" I could feel her jaw move against my calf.

"I can take them for a walk up and down the street"

"Okay that willl work!!" She jumped up excited. She saw her brother and tried to take off.

"Wait I'm gonna stop you!!"

"No way!" She zig zagged right behind me.

"You'll stay right there?" He rubbed his skull "uggggg you know what?! My friends can wait!"

"No! I'll stay! I'll stay! I swear I'm like her! We're an Army of Two!"

"Okay but you know what? Since you're no longer butt naked" he knelt down next to her

"I know! I got dressed fast!"

"She did and all goddess like i never seen someone so fast

"Really? Now what?" She put her hands on either side of his face

"Maybe ill take you for a walk instead. And let you meet my friends then bring you back Here where its safe. Then you can play with those two boys ew yuck icky and be a mascot? Hey? What do you say?"

"I think i will enjoy that. I will go with you." They both stood and she placed her tiny hand in his extra large one.

"Do you want a double layer?"

"No i think it will be safe. If I feel any danger I'll just pick her up and hold her close and hide her black panther. Okay? And you if you feel disgusted or moody or anger, you just come to me and tell me up! I don't want the white supremacy to see they might hurt us and that's not fair is it?"

She shook her head while looking at her toes and she looked up with sad eyes "okay you up?" He picked her up quickly

"Who?!!? Where?!?" He spun around wildly.

She laughed joyously "oh i just wanted a hug!! I didn't know you would protect me!! You are like her! An Army of One! Okay put me down! Lets prowl!!"

When they returned a short time later he looked disturbed "what? What's happening?"

"Turns out my friends are from the white supremacy! She would run around acting wild and when she would see a cop she would bolt back to me Then we would walk silently and she would be all calm then as soon as we passed she would bolt off again which was fine, that's what she do. But then once we got to my friend she didn't know him cause he was alone prowling and she ran to me all "up up" but do you think she knows instinctively that is who is taking m3 away from her at nights? And maybe she thinks they are trouble for me and her? Because we are reincarnated and I'm not her brother that is for sure! But do you think that is what it is? I sure hope so?"

"How about one night instead of prowling you just come over here and BBQ for me? You know it hurts me to stand and.."

"Nope I'm looking for the white supremacy because I have a feeling they're out to kill my Queen Nefertiti"

"Well the ones she is afraid of, have him or them play at the BBQ and then i can find out. I have a nose for it"

"But theyre black!! Is that even possible?!"

"Id have to call Miss Harriet Tubman for sure, But i think anything is likely."

"But can you see past his skin color? He is dark! Darker than me!"

"I don't see skin color I promise if it makes you feel better I can imagine him as white"

"Okay that will work. Come on Miss, lets go in"

3 out of 4 additionally including himself I could imagine as white. Which i could derive as only no racial prejudice between those.

The 4th was the only one she liked. Turns out he was most afraid of white people.

And none were like the man who killed her who was black and a white supremacist living in Compton when they went to go visit her grandmother.

Laquisha Antuana Jefferson

6 months after her body was found, he drowned himself in the Buttermilk Channel between Brooklyn and Governors Island. The Coast Guard attempted to resuscitate and even called me to see him to bring him back to life.

"Oh no. I know him. He wont come back." When everyone moved away from him, I knelt down next to him and prouncounced him dead in the language of the Egyptians. And i leaned over him in a hug and cried.

I kissed his lips, closed his eyes and placed two gold coins over them "in love may you always be. I am too sorry for you. You will be my friend" i picked up his left hand and placed it between his belly button and heart then picked up his right "always for me and for her always in love. I am too sorry for me. I will always cry" I gently folded his stiff cold fingers together. "And in silence you will bear the heart of a true man. May you always be beautiful, kind and unsuffering in her love. May you rest in peace. Ah man"

Laquisha Antuana Jefferson you were a wild one.

The world has suffered in your death. May you always be risen again. In true love and faith. May your heart always be bright and safe from us and all the world. I will love you again. Ah man.

Thank you for understanding why we have killed her killer tonight. June 8, 2020. It has been long awaited and her murderer has suffered plenty in his life in Beverly Hills.

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