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crimeronan · 10 months

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i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

#thebibliosphere i apologize for tagging u when we don't know each other at all i just want u to get credit for the initial discussion #given that it is so much more thoughtful and clear than anything i'd think to write.#i did NOT mean to spend multiple hours on this but once i started writing i was like #oh god i actually do have like a lot i can tell monogamous people about writing poly people & the poly perspective #anyway. i mention it in the post but people can send me (respectful. obviously) asks if they have questions #i cant promise to answer all of them bc i am bad at this. but if i'm well enough then i'll try #polyamory #non-monogamy #ethical non-monogamy #writing #my writing #writing advice #relationships

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cuties-in-codices · 6 months

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Where do you find these manuscripts? Is it like a website or do you find it randomly??

hey, thanks for the curiosity! lenghty answer below the cut :)

medieval manuscripts are typically owned by libraries and showcased on the library's websites. so one thing i do is i randomly browse those digitized manuscript collections (like the collections of the bavarian state library or the bodleian libraries, to name just two), which everybody can do for free without any special access. some digital collections provide more useful tools than others (like search functions, filters, annotations on each manuscript). if they don't, the process of wading through numerous non-illustrated manuscripts before i find an illustrated one at all can be quite tedious.

there are databases which help to navigate the vast sea of manuscripts. the one i couldn't live without personally use the most is called KdIH (Katalog der deutschsprachigen illustrierten Handschriften des Mittelalters). it's a project which aims to list all illustrated medieval manuscripts written in german dialects. the KdIH provides descriptions of the contents of each manuscript (with a focus on the illustrations), and if there's a digital reproduction of a manuscript available anywhere, the KdIH usually links to it. the KdIH is an invaluable tool for me because of its focus on illustrated manuscripts, because of the informations it provides for each manuscript, and because of its useful search function (once you've gotten over the initial confusion of how to navigate the website). the downside is that it includes only german manuscripts, which is one of the main reasons for the over-representation of german manuscripts on my blog (sorry about that).

another important database for german manuscripts in general (i.e. not just illustrated ones) is the handschriftencensus, which catalogues information regarding the entirety of german language manuscripts of the middle ages, and also links to the digital reproductions of each manuscript.

then there are simply considerable snowball effects. if you do even just superficial research on any medieval topic at all (say, if you open the wikipedia article on alchemy), you will inevitably stumble upon mentions of specific illustrated manuscripts. the next step is to simply search for a digital copy of the manuscript in question (this part can sometimes be easier said than done, especially when you're coming from wikipedia). one thing to keep in mind is that a manuscript illustration seldom comes alone - so every hint to any illustration at all is a greatly valuable one (if you do what i do lol). there's always gonna be something interesting in any given illustrated manuscript. (sidenote: one very effective 'cheat code' would be to simply go through all manuscripts that other online hobbyist archivers of manuscript illustrations have gone through before - like @discardingimages on tumblr - but some kind of 'professional pride' detains me from doing so. that's just a kind of stubbornness though. like, i want to find my material more or less on my own, not just the images but also the manuscripts, and i apply arbitrary rules to my search as to what exactly that means.)

whatever tool or strategy i use to find specific illustrated manuscripts-- in the end, one unavoidable step is to actually manually skim through the (digitized) manuscript. i usually have at least a quick look at every single illustrated page, and i download or screenshot everything that is interesting to me. this process can take up to an hour per manuscript.

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in conclusion, i'd say that finding cool illuminated manuscripts is much simpler than i would have thought before i started this blog. there are so many of them out there and they're basically just 'hidden in plain side', it's really astounding. finding the manuscripts doesn't require special skills, just some basic experience with/knowledge of the tools available. the reason i'm able to post interesting images almost daily is just that i spend a lot of time doing all of this, going through manuscripts, curating this blog, etc. i find a lot of comfort in it, i learn a lot along the way, and i immensely enjoy people's engagement with my posts. so that's that :)

#if you ever have any specific questions about any of these tools or my strategies feel free to ask or dm me #i'd also be interested in recommendations of databases that are specific to other languages/regions that are neither german nor english #preferably with a focus on illuminated manuscripts #or useful databases that are just not very well known #ask #medieval art #medieval studies #btw @anon sorry for only getting around to answering your ask now #and re: your following message. first of all never apologize for your english skills. like ever #it's a daily struggle for me as well tbh. i never post anything without german/english dictionary tabs open lol #and i feel like i 'owe' it to the tumblr blogger format to write in smooth english #secondly your question wasn't dumb at all! i'm glad somebody asked :)

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every-aj-needs-an-angel · 10 months

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Part 3 of the Steddie Vegas AU!! Is it okay if this is a weekly thing? I know most of it is already written but it's finding time to edit it 😬 this summer is killing me istg

Part 1 --- Part 2

Steve awoke groggily sometime later to a sleep-rumpled Robin telling him they needed to get ready because they were being picked up in half an hour. Directing a confused frown at his best friend, Steve searched his mind for an answer, being picked up…?

It took a second for the past few hours to finally filter through but as soon as thoughts of Eddie flooded his mind, Steve's face slowly split into a sunny grin. He couldn't help it, no matter how much Robin scoffed and rolled her eyes, the butterflies taking flight in his stomach made him feel giddy.

He hadn't been this excited to see someone in a long time! Jumping up, he took his best outfit out of the wardrobe heading toward the bathroom to get changed and start taming his hair; kissing Robin playfully on the cheek and humming a merry tune as he practically skipped by her.

Robin tutted and rolled her eyes at him through the mirror above the desk, "Stop! God, you're gross when you're in love," she grumbled.

Steve laughed, "That's alright, so are you," he teased, pulling products out of his toiletries bag onto the side by the sink.

Robin scoffed, "I'm not in love!"

Steve's eyebrows jumped up sceptically, "No? That's not what you said at the cafe," he countered.

He heard more than saw her slam something on the desktop, "When did I say I was in love?" she squawked indignantly.

Steve's eyebrows furrowed at himself in the mirror as he thought back to that morning, "When me and Eddie arrived?"

She snapped the lid of something and snorted decisively, "I didn't say anything!"

"I know!" Steve agreed because she hadn't said anything, she didn't have to.

Robin sighed heavily, "How did I say it then?!" she retorted.

"With your eyes!" he shrieked, rolling his own in exasperation.

Robin huffed out a laugh, "Oh my god, Evie! You're such an idiot! Now shut the fuck up before I ruin my eyeliner!"

Steve did as he was told, pumping serum into his hands and smoothing it into his hair; running his own fingers over his scalp didn't have the same enjoyment now he knew what it was to have Eddie run his hands through his hair. He sighed wistfully, how do I miss him so much already?

Shaking his head to clear it in the hopes of not letting his thoughts run away with him, he rinsed his hands before poking his head around the doorway to check Robin was done with the pencil.

"So you don't like Chrissy then?" he asked curiously, leaning back into the mirror to check for stray eyebrows.

Robin let out a prolonged groan, "I never said that!"

Humming in understanding, he yanked out a hair with the tweezers, "You're just not in-love?" he clarified.

"Duh! I've known her a day!" she insisted, sighing heavily.

Steve chuckled, swapping the tweezers for a blob of moisturiser, "I've only known Eddie a day!" he argued, rubbing the cream gently into his skin.

She whined huffily, "Yeah but you're different! You're all…" Steve could practically hear her wafting her hands around.

He knew she didn't mean anything by it and he tried not to be offended but his voice came out all squawky anyway, "I'm all what?" he wanted to know, popping his head back around the doorframe.

Robin puffed out a frustrated breath, opening and closing her mouth a few times before settling on, "Romantic?"

Steve rolled his eyes, leaning back into the mirror checking for imperfections, "Why'd you say that like it's a bad thing?" he asked, his tone not as neutral as he'd like it to be.

"I didn't!" she argued with a sigh, "It's just… that's not me. I'm more…" she lamented, and whimpered, unable to find the words.

Steve flicked on the tap, washing the cream off his fingers, catching sight of his wedding ring and smiling softly to himself. Okay, maybe she has a point!

"Reserved?" Steve suggested the word having popped unbidden into his head.

"Exactly!" Robin agreed.

Steve smiled fondly to himself, a reserved Robin was nothing new, but neither was her denying the strength of her emotions. What was new was the way she was with Chrissy but maybe that wasn't as good as he'd first thought, "But you had a good time with her?" he checked.

Robin made a giddy little squealy sound in the back of her throat, "Oh my god, Steve! I had the best time! She's amazing! Did you know she's a three times cheer champion? And she won gold in the regional gymnastics championships! Do you know what that means?!"

He had no idea what that meant, Robin couldn't care less for sports, or medals, or winning things, "That she's incredibly flexible?" he guessed, only half joking, stepping away from the mirror to get changed.

Robin huffed exasperatedly, "No! I mean yes but not what I meant!" she grumbled.

Steve was halfway through changing into his jeans when he paused to think about it for a second, standing abruptly as it hit him, "Oh! Oh, you like a jock! Robin Bobbin Buckley! You like jocks!" he taunted jovially.

Robin tutted, "Shut up! You've married a dork!" she grouched.

He couldn't stop the little giggle crawling up his throat at the thought of being married, at some point it'd stopped being scary and just started feeling exciting.

"We already knew I was into dorks! This is brand-new information! Have you ever dated a jock before?" he wondered aloud, bending back down to finish pulling on his jeans. He knew none of the girls she'd dated while he'd been around had been but she'd never really mentioned a high school love life.

"No!" she whined, sounding unsure and a little upset.

"Aww Bobs, don't worry. If it helps we're very easy to please," he told her, trying his best to be reassuring, "Plus, I don't think you've got anything to worry about, she seems pretty obsessed with you!" he added absentmindedly as he pulled on his shirt, concentrating on doing up the buttons.

Robin let out a hopeful little whine, "You think?"

Steve stopped what he was doing to huff a gentle laugh, thinking about how Chrissy had barely been able to keep her eyes or hands off his best friend, the way Eddie had found it adorable; it seemed Chrissy's attraction was obvious to everyone but Robin, "Yeah, I do yeah," he assured her gently.

She hummed softly and then went quiet, deep in thought and smiling to herself as she ran a brush absentmindedly through her hair, pretending she wasn't when she caught Steve sneaking a glance around the doorframe.

Steve popped back into the bathroom before he ended up with a hairbrush launched at him, chuckling as he twirled a stray strand of hair around his finger, that particular one always had a mind of its own.

At least chatting with Robin had somewhat calmed the jitters he was feeling! Just the thought of Eddie on the other side of the door, looking all pretty and wanting Steve to get involved in something that was important to him was making him want to jump up and down, or dance a jig, or maybe both at once.

He'd never had that before, someone who'd wanted to include him in their recreational activities. Nancy had thought him too stupid to help her with her journalism and decided for him that he'd find the library too boring, without ever actually bothering to ask him. He was never invited to hang out with her friends or to join her study groups, he was pretty sure he was only there to bolster her social standing at school and to keep her folks off of her back.

He and Billy shared a love of basketball but other than school sports, he was never invited to do anything other than "dates" with him, which usually turned out just to be an excuse to hook up. But Steve was certain Eddie had known from the look on his face that he had no idea who they were going to see, Steve wasn't even sure whether they were going to see a singer or a band, but Eddie had still wanted him to come anyway, was on his way over to share this experience with him. Steve couldn't wait!

He was just doing a final mirror check when Robin asked, "You want eyeliner, Dingus?"

Steve wandered out of the bathroom, smoothing down the front of his shirt, smiling to himself when he saw Robin was wearing the dark plaid shirt that was now hers but had once upon a time belonged to him. "Do I need eyeliner?" he asked curiously, he was never sure whether it did anything for him.

Robin stared bug-eyed at him through the mirror, then whipped around to stare directly at him, "what the fuck are you wearing?" she squawked.

Steve looked down at his outfit and then back to Robin with a confused frown. He loved this shirt! El had chosen it for him the last time she and Hop came to visit, short-sleeved and paisley in colours that really complemented his complexion. Pairing it with his favourite pale blue jeans that hugged his arse perfectly was a no-brainer and he always wore his trusty Nike's, surely she knew that by now.

Robin tugged on her hair trying to dampen her frustration, "Holy crap! Evie! You absolutely cannot wear that tonight!" she yelled.

He knew she wasn't trying to hurt his feelings, she just had no filter when she was overstimulated, didn't make it sting any less though; on a normal outing, she wouldn't even bother to glance in his direction, she'd just tell him he looked hot (mainly, so they could make it out the door before Steve went back to his wardrobe to change, and the day was officially over) and off they'd go, but apparently not for one of the most important dates of Steve's life.

"I look fine!" he muttered indignantly, just for the sake of it because now he felt the need to be grumpy. He wanted Eddie to think he was pretty and he didn't bring anything else that made him feel as good as his SuperEl shirt did, or it had before Robin said that.

Robin rolled her eyes exasperatedly, "You're dressed like my dad!" she exclaimed, eyes going wide and immediately covering her mouth with both hands in shock. Clearly she hadn't meant to let that thought out!

Steve gasped involuntarily, and Robin immediately tried to backtrack, muffling an apology through the hands that were still clamped over her mouth.

There were only so many places to sulk off to when sharing a hotel room with your supposed best friend and honestly he really didn't want to hear it! Eddie would be here any second and now he felt like crap. He flopped face down on his bed determined to never move again, what was the point when your nicest outfit apparently means you're dressed like a pensioner.

Steve heard more than saw Robin turn back to the mirror, her hands landing heavily on the desktop, she sucked in a deep breath then jumped up, pacing in the small space; Steve could picture her wringing her hands as she moved around the room.

She was letting him mope because it was better to get it over with, that way he could change before the others arrived, which would be any second and she really thought it best for everyone involved if Eddie didn't see that monstrosity of a shirt just yet because he might be obsessed with Steve but the shirt was horrendous!

What Robin never seemed to realise was that she had this tendency to mutter her thoughts to herself aloud, especially when she was stressed. Steve rolled his eyes to himself and sighed, he thought Eddie would like the shirt, even if she didn't.

Robin sighed heavily, "You know I love you Steve, but you absolutely cannot go to this concert dressed like my dad!" And of course, Robin had to be shouting that just as there was a knock at the door! Steve groaned loudly and dragged himself up to answer it.

He couldn't just leave them standing in the hallway! Robin said he was a perpetual people pleaser, said it had something to do with being left too young, that he'd learned the best way to get his parent's attention or approval or whatever was to be well-behaved. He didn't know if that was true or if he just enjoyed making people happy. Right now he was just battling with wanting to see Eddie and maybe getting a hug and wanting the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

Steve hid himself behind the door as he opened it, only letting them see Robin, just while he gathered the last of his courage. Not that she gave him much of a chance to do that when she immediately screeched, "Eddie, tell him he can't go out like that!"

Eddie said nothing as the door slid shut behind him and Chrissy but it was obvious they were both trying their hardest not to laugh, at Steve or at their bickering Steve didn't know, but even though Eddie was physically biting his lip, his dimples were still poking through.

"Eds?" Steve whimpered pathetically.

And Eddie, sweet, wonderful Eddie, smiled his warmest smile, took Steve's hands into his own to stop him scrunching in on himself, and told him "You look beautiful, sweetheart!" humming and grinning in return when Steve preened. "Perhaps you could wear that when I take you out to dinner instead?" he suggested, cheekily waggling his eyebrows, making Steve feel all blushy and bashful.

He knew Eddie would like the shirt! Robin may be the brains of their pairing but her ideas of fashion left something to be desired.

Steve wanted to snark at Robin about it but that was when he noticed Eddie was wearing eyeliner! And at least three necklaces, a leather one with a pick dangling from it and two different chains. A black t-shirt with an indistinct pattern because the fabric had been slashed as though he'd had a fight with a wolf or a tiger. Black jeans that were so tight they might as well have been painted on with chains and studs and safety pins attached with Docs and a leather jacket.

Is it warm in here or is it me?

Eddie had his head tilted, surveying Steve from head to toe, contemplatively he said, "Maybe if we just... come with me," he urged, tugging on Steve's hands, pulling him out of the room, leaving the girls behind.

Eddie dragged him into a joyful skip to the end of the corridor, straight up the stairs, taking two at a time. Two floors wasn't far but it'd been a while since Steve had kept up with his fitness regime, so he was huffing and puffing. Coach would be so disappointed!

Eddie just grinned at him fondly, told him, "You do look beautiful, Sweetheart, if it were up to me, we'd cancel the concert and I'd take you to dinner instead, but we can wait, can't we?" he asked, with such sincerity in his voice, and not nearly out of breath enough for Steve's level of embarrassment.

All Steve could do was nod, he couldn't speak even if he wanted to, and he did, he wanted to tell Eddie that of course they could wait, that he didn't want Eddie to miss his concert, that he too looked incredible but Eddie was happily tugging him down a corridor, unlocking one of the many doors and shoving Steve straight into their room.

A feeling of awe swept over Steve as he skidded to a halt, standing shellshocked just inside the door, because Steve'd thought his and Robin's room was nice but Eddie and Chrissy had a suite and it was fucking gorgeous!

The door opened straight into a living space, a beautiful kitchenette with dark wood counters and a marble worktop, chocolate leather sofas and dark furniture and gold furnishings in front of floor-to-ceiling windows. And the view! Wow!

The Strip lights were vibrant even against the setting sun, even though it wouldn't be long before she tucked herself behind the mountains for the night, Steve had this absent thought appear in the back of his mind that he hoped he and Eddie would have time to stop and just sit and watch it set together before they had to head back to Indy. Eddie squeezed his hand, smiling so affectionately at him, as though maybe he was sharing the same hope, before gently drawing him through one of the open doors that led into a bedroom.

The bed was huge with neatly made golden-coloured sheets, the decor just as ornate as the main room had been. Not even the mass amount of clothing covering the expanse of the room could make it look any less magnificent, if anything, the touch of Eddie just made it all the more beguiling. Steve just sort've stood there in wonder, taking in the space and watching as Eddie rifled through the wardrobe, finally coming out with a hanger that held what was once a black t-shirt with an "ah ha!"

The shirt was at least two sizes too big for either of them and had had the sleeves completely removed all the way down to the waist. Steve couldn't even call it a vest because he wasn't sure there was enough fabric left to be classed as one, convinced one of Robin's camisoles (that he'd once used as a windscreen chamois and got yelled at for) would cover more, and although it wasn't his usual style he liked it.

He definitely liked it more than the unsure smile Eddie was now shooting him, Steve grinned his brightest grin as he reached a hand out for the garment, making sure to fully appreciate the way Eddie’s breath hitched before his smile grew until it nearly split his face in two. Steve was expecting Eddie to just pass him the top so he could get changed, what he wasn't expecting was Eddie pulling him into his arms, trapping the fabric between them, Eddie cupping his jaw, gently caressing his cheek with his thumb.

It was his turn for his breath to hitch, Steve had seen pretty eyes before, but none of them held a candle to Eddie's; rich coffee coloured, lightening towards the pupil like the growth rings of a tree and speckled with gem coloured glitter that shined like diamonds, so expressive and full of life, he wished he could spend the rest of forever looking into them.

As close as he was he could see the crinkles in the corner of his eyes as he smiled affectionately at Steve, then Eddie was glancing purposefully at his lips, practically begging Steve to lean in and who was Steve to refuse?

He let his eyes flutter shut as soon as Eddie’s plush lips touched his own, as they both sucked in a breath neither of them realised they'd been holding out on taking as they melted into one another.

Steve had never been handled so delicately as he was by Eddie, with gentle caresses and soft kisses; the girls he'd been with always expected him to be the one to treat them gently and the guys, well it was obvious they were after one thing and getting there the fastest way possible but Eddie kissed him like they had all the time in the world, like all he wanted to do was just be here in this moment with him and Steve couldn't get enough.

They were interrupted, far too quickly in his opinion, by their best friends, standing in the doorway to Eddie's bedroom with their arms folded and matching raised eyebrows to go with their "ahem!" Robin couldn't keep up the ruse though, laughing at the guilty look on his face, even as Eddie pressed his forehead to Steve's unwilling to separate, glaring daggers at Chris while she laughed along with Robin.

Steve kissed Eddie on the corner of his mouth, reluctantly stepping out of his grasp, shooing the three of them away with a promise to get changed. Eddie stepped away only to scuttle back over to kiss Steve tenderly on the cheek, Chrissy calling for him exasperatedly from the living space. Eddie chuckled, chasing after his best friend with a "I'm coming!" leaving Steve alone in Eddie's bedroom.

He took a minute just to centre himself, taking a deep breath to slow his beating heart, wondering how on earth they'd ever function when they had normal every day things to do like get to work on time.

Steve could hear Robin getting antsy about being late and quickly started on the buttons of his SuperEl shirt, throwing on Eddie's top and heading for the door; an anxious Robin was not something he wanted to induce by dawdling.

But just as Steve was about to leave the bedroom, he could hear Chrissy teasing Eddie, "I can't wait to tell Gare! Jeff's gonna lose his shit, they were already pissed that they couldn't come with us! When they find out you almost missed the concert of the century for a boy! Minds will be blown!"

Eddie muttered something in response that Steve couldn't hear but both girls gasped audiably.

"Really?" Robin asked softly, something really hopeful in her tone, and Steve wasn't sure if Eddie replied verbally but he could see him nodding and Robin grinning as he finally left the bedroom.

"How do I look?" Steve asked bashfully, fully getting to enjoy the way Eddie's eyes darkened as he spun around to face Steve.

"Wow!" Chrissy complimented.

"Evie!" Robin breathed.

"Um, uh, looks- it looks great! You look great, just needs a little..." Eddie mumbled, trying hard for nonchalance and missing by a mile. He swooped forward and started adjusting the safety pins at Steve's hips, he'd originally assumed they were an aesthetic thing but as the fabric tightened the whole top seemed to settle better. "Of course, you're skinnier than me!" Eddie grumbled as he fixed the shirt in place, stepping back to admire his work.

With the bottom of the fabric tight around his hips, it draped loosely off his shoulders, the excess swinging freely around the pockets of his jeans, the round neck showing off the v of his pecks, the straps just barely covering his nipples. It was sort've... freeing.

No one said anything for a few moments, the three of them just stood staring at Steve, it was really disconcerting and it didn't help that he couldn't really decipher the look on any of their faces. Robin was the easiest to work out, she just looked bemused like something was missing, she pulled that very same face when she was trying to write a shopping list. Chrissy looked kinda impressed, like the difference between the two tops was that surprising. And Eddie had the same abstracted look he'd had back in the waffle house, like he was in a world of his own.

"Eyeliner!" Robin blurted, snapping everyone's attention to her as she handed Eddie a black pencil.

Eddie blinked rapidly before taking it from her and stepping back into Steve's space, gently forcing his eyes closed with his fingertips. Applying the makeup with practised ease and rubbing his thumbs gingerly over the lines he'd created.

When Steve next opened his eyes, all three of them were full on, jaws dropped, gawping at him. A shiver ran up his spine, causing goosebumps to break out and all the little hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. It wasn't like Steve wasn't used to the attention, he was Prom King, he'd been hit on and chatted up and propositioned in every club he'd ever stepped foot in, hell he'd been called pretty for as long as he could remember, but the look in Eddie's eyes was so intense Steve felt almost pinned by his gaze.

"That's just not fair," Robin whispered to herself.

"We should go!" Chrissy decided, grabbing hold of Robin and Eddie and physically herding them out the front door.

Steve took a moment to just shake himself off, he wasn't an idiot he knew he was attractive but he'd never felt that before, although feeling new things just seemed to be a reoccurring theme since he'd met Eddie. Then he heard Chrissy call his name from the hallway, his legs kicking back into action leaving the suite and following her to the lift, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror at the back and having to do a double take.

Because holy fuck! He looked hot! Like really Hot! Like HOT! And it wasn't like he was the only one, he took a look at the four of them in the mirror and holy shit! Together they looked incredible! They looked like something you'd see on the cover of a magazine, or like a band on a red carpet, or like the leads in that vampire movie with that handsome bloke from that show.

Eddie with his slashed band tee, his leather and chains, Chris in her little black dress and thigh-high boots, Robin head to toe in black with her trademark dark plaid, and him in a skimpy bit of black fabric, showing off muscles and moles and chest hair.

It wasn't a look any of them could get away with in Hawkins, they’d be branded Satanists before they ever had a chance to so much as smile, but Vegas was special and as the four of them stepped out of the elevator into the lobby, they just looked like they belonged, not just on The Strip but together.

Part 4

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tag list @estrellami-1 @gregre369 @adhdsummer @newtstabber @nerdfighteratheart @anaibis just lmk if you want removing

#apologies for grammar and tense changes i do proof read i promise my literacy skills are just embarrassing af #mainly talking very little plot!! i told you i can only do one or the other 😂#i actually quite like this chapter 🙈#it can be the last one though if y'all are sick of me. like i'd at least be happy that it's a nice stopping point y'know #idk this probably sucks so hard #steddie vegas au #steddie au #steddie #platonic stobin #platonic hellcheer #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #chrissy cunningham #background buckingham #steve's pov #aj writes

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kyouka-supremacy · 2 months

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Who in sskk would you say has the higher IQ?

IQ as in, conventionally smart? Then definitely Atsushi does. I'm sorry. I've said it many times before, but I don't think Akutagawa is a particularly perceptive person. Or witty. Or intelligent in general. It's due to external factors, he never got the chance to have anything that could resemble a proper education; but it's also a matter of his nature, he's just so impulsive, and narrow-minded, and stubborn, he really has the thickest skull ever. But seriously, especially in a world full of geniuses, Akutagawa simply doesn't shine for sharpness of mind, and is way too impulsive and instincts-driven to be a person that relies on reflection or rationality. Everything that Akutagawa does is the epitome of irrational, it's one of the greatest appeals of the character.

Atsushi is smart,,,, I've talked about this also, and I think it's less sustained by canon than for Akutagawa, but I like to think he's a very observant and perceptive person whose intelligence doesn't show because he's constantly surrounded by geniuses, but still he is smart. When it comes to observations skills, I find it easy for him to have them due to his childhood of ill-treatment and abuse: as a defense mechanism, he learnt to be especially observative of people's behaviour in order to tell what sets people off and be able to prevent any escalation, I think that's a widely shared abuse survivor experience. Something among these lines is shown in chapter 51:

I also think Atsushi is a very fast learner. He's observant, and that results in him constantly absorbing other people's knowledge. He's often asking for explanations for Dazai and Ranpo's reasonings, and although I know more often than not it solves an expositive role in the storytelling picture, there's still the fact that it makes Atsushi a person who's constantly trying to understand the reality surrounding him. Atsushi is also shown to be very cool-minded and calculating in fight: from him sliding under Akutagawa and attacking him from behind successfully eluding having to face him front-off in chapter 4, to him retracting his tiger limbs to escape Rashomon's bonds in chapter 12, to the strategy he elaborated with Tanizaki (and his ability to catch up on that) to defeat Lucy in chapter 16, to his attempt to outsmart Fitzgerald in chapter 34 (that, although failed, was still driven by rational thinking nonetheless), and the list could go on. The way in fight Atsushi is shown to ponder over and implement the advices people like Dazai or Mori offered him further makes me believe he's really good at absorbing information. And Atsushi is probably book smart, too! He's compelled by reading to the point he would even risk the orphanage director's punishment just to sneak into the library and read (not explicitly supported by canon, but I can take a guess). According to the second guidebook, he spends his leisure time borrowing books from the library and studying. Overall, he really seems to be rational in all the places Akutagawa is on the contrary driven by impulses¹.

It's like… A physics law when it comes to sskk, that Akutagawa will have the most despicable trait while Atsushi has the trait that is conventionally considered the best; or at least that's as far as my characterization of them goes. Atsushi is beautiful, Akutagawa is ugly². Atsushi is polite, Akutagawa is rude. Atsushi is pure, Akutagawa is stained. Atsushi is smart, Akutagawa isn't. Atsushi is lovable, Akutagawa is destined to cause repulsion in everyone he meets³. In the end, none of this matters: they're no different where it counts, that is, Atsushi isn't any more morally just than Akutagawa is. Atsushi in not any more good than Akutagawa is (I actually suspect the contrary is true). But as far as appearances go, it's still important to portray them as opposites, because Akutagawa being unlovable and Atsushi receiving all the love Akutagawa didn't get for being his contrary - even though deep down they're the same - is almost everything their relationship is about. It's also a big part of why they act like they do towards each other: it's source of Akutagawa's bottomless envy for Atsushi; it's source of how devoted and loyal he will grow to be for him - reaching the point of giving his life for him -, because he can't see Atsushi as anything but perfection. It's source of confidence and of that certain justified hatred towards Akutagawa Atsushi feels because to his eyes Akutagawa is about the worst person to have ever walked on earth. It's source to their wish to annihilate the other as the opposite they can't exist at the same time of. It's the reason Akutagawa had to die, because he's not the good one. Overall it's also expression of Akutagawa's thematic struggle to be good and unavoidable failure at that because of the constraints of a narrative that never wanted him to be good.

But I also think they can make it work. More precisely, I think sskk can make it work when both of them can overcome and defeat the narrative dichotomy they found themselves stuck into: by recognizing that deep common ground of “we're the same” and that where it matters, in morals, neither of them is better or worse than the other. The Beast universe exemplifies that for us readers, but they don't know Beast, so they'll have to realize it by their own. About that, I think Akutagawa already caught on, because he was faster to call out the hypocrisy of Atsushi's good guy façade, and from that it's a short distance to realizing that, as much as he hates to admit it, at his core Atsushi is not that different from himself. It's taking a little more for Atsushi to realize, because it's harder to get down from that higher moral pedestal he believes himself to be on, but with his whole reevaluating Akutagawa after he stopped killing and sacrificed himself for him (and then saved him again. And then showed him how formidable of a team they are when they find a common ground.), I think he's getting there.

Tl;dr: Atsushi is smart and Akutagawa is stupid and yes it fits their personalities, but way more importantly it's consistent with the themes they carry that translate in what their relationship is like.

¹ For further reading on how Atsushi can be witty, please refer to @/gloomierdays's tags on this post. ² For further reading on how Atsushi and Akutagawa's looks can be used to reflect their characters themes, please refer to this post. ³ For further reading on how Akutagawa being not smart (as far as conventional definitions of smart go) ties to his character themes, please refer to this post.

#Answering this exactly one month late I'm so so so so so sorry #To be fair if I didn't set my mind on writing dissertations for every ask I get I'd probably be able to answer them faster #Seriously again I deeply apologize for taking so long ///////#atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #people asks me stuff #I don't even think Akutagawa likes reading lol.#I think he's so restless and impatient‚ his attention span is really far too low to sit down and read something leisurely.#This might as well be my most fandom unpopular sskk opinion of them all ajkfafliugefligwfkqwjyg

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vermillioncrown · 4 months

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snippet of tpac ch 11

who wants to see bruce being bullied? doesn't matter, here you go

...

“—per my last missive, Sir: if you want this equation to exist, then the principles of linear algebra must necessarily exist.” Korvin waves a thin stack of ruled paper—covered with sprawling formulas, symbols, bullet lists, and patchwork paragraphs on both sides—like he’s trying to banish a demon. That demon, in this instance, is “Batman being stubborn.”

Bruce looks taken aback, like something is happening outside of his set parameters. From how Dick tried to explain it: apparently, Bruce and Korvin have a whole “pen pals” routine going on, and it’s still thriving despite them sharing the same living quarters for the past few months?

Do they actually waste stamps on this? Where do they hide the envelopes?

(Dick raised his hands in surrender at that line of questioning.)

Tim knows Bruce is a creature of habit and standards of operation—of which he completely respects because it’s efficient—but his staunch adherence to routine is next-level neurotic. Normally, he'd be furious about being sidetracked.

Yet, Korvin’s thrown caution to the wind and got so mad over math, like the fussy nerd that he tries to hide being, that he’s directly confronting Bruce—full “David vs Goliath” vibes here. And he's winning.

“I trust your work,” Bruce finally says, holding his hand out for the papers.

That only makes Korvin’s face twitch harder. “Sure. Why not. Everyone needs a bit of make-believe. Escapism in these trying times and shitass economy.”

“‘Shitass economy,’” Cass murmurs, of course latching onto the bit that everyone reacts to.

Babs sighs in disgust.

...

#verm bits #on tpac #phd-verse #i'm running my exprs i swear ok #literally logging my results like an old-timey scientist #and i have to bc i know how much time i'd waste making a script to perform my experiments and trying to optimize it #now is not the time #^^i also want to make it clear: tbf to bruce korvin would normally not yell at him (he'd be too terrified to)#(nor did korvin realize he was being condescending to bruce after the batplane incident)#but pen pals bruce&korvin are very different from actual interaction bc it's usually so far removed #think of the cognitive dissonance to actually receive an apology letter from fucking bruce wayne like wth lol #(and the whole experience is so surreal that the both of them just. keep going. bc why not.)#so they just start writing about whatever or digging into topics following up on a previous letter #and the last few letters bruce was pestering korvin about the anti-life equation and why he thinks it's dumb #to which korvin says ''may i refer you to prof gilbert strang who can maybe show you an intro to lin alg for free online. he is qualified''#but bruce is v stubborn and tackles other comments korvin made about the eq #until korvin's just done and here we are #after this they'll start talking about ytube video essays or something

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shimmershy · 10 months

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Hey shimmer! Here’s a question, which other UT characters do you think Chara would get along with?

Definitely Undyne, for one. They seem really impressed by her in their narration, and I think they'd really respect her for her passion and sense of justice.

I think they'd get along with Papyrus too. He'd be fun to hang out with, and they'd appreciate his optimism. Plus I think they'd really enjoy puzzles.

I'm really on-and-off about whether they'd get along with Sans. Because, on one hand, I think they're a big fan of jokes and puns themself, but like. They're clever about it. They'd probably think Sans's puns are Bad and Lame, and they'd be put off by his general demeanor and laziness. BUT, at the same time, I think they'd be able to relate to how much he cares about his brother. They would Tolerate him.

I don't know if they'd get along with Alphys super well. They wouldn't hate her or anything, but like. I feel like it would be a situation where you put two people who have self-worth/anxiety issues in a room together and they just end up stressing each other out. But maybe they could still get along, I don't know.

Napstablook, on the other hand, seems more chill, even if they're not super confident in themself either. I think Chara would get along with them. They could vibe.

Probably not Mettaton, though? They just don't have a lot in common, and they'd probably find him kind of annoying. (Too dramatic.)

Their relationship with Flowey would be very rocky. They would very much hate him at first, but it would be more complicated post-pacifist especially. They would want to get along with him, I think, but a lot of things would make that complicated. They would mostly just bully each other.

They'd still consider Asgore and Toriel to be their parents, and they'd appreciate their company. They'd like gardening with Asgore, and baking with Toriel maybe. It would probably be complicated with them too, though.

#ask #robythegoon #lots of thoughts... I'm kinda just rambling though lol #this is the kind of thing where like.... i'd have to write it out to get a better idea of how well they'd get along because.#there are a lot of characters they wouldn't necessarily Not get along with but it would depend on the situation.#also they would tolerate just about anyone for Frisk's sake (they'd kinda have to)#etc etc #i overthink everything i apologize.#omg it's Volta your local unnecessary-wall-of-text writer!! here on your dash yet again. hello.

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pokimoko · 1 month

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The One-Way Waltz of the Moth and the Wild Flame (and the Incident of the Authorial Intrusion) - A Good Omens Fic

Written by pokimoko

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: ~25K

Fandom: Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Nina (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) & Original Character(s)

Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Original Characters, (who is technically not an original character but I've got to keep some secrets ;) ), Nina (Good Omens), Background & Cameo Characters

Summary: A story in which Crowley does not prevent forest fires, a radio sends out thoughts and prayers, an angel misuses the emergency contact, the local duck population invents socialism, trees are threatened to varying degrees of success, a waltz is indeed played, and an author considers the nature of tragedies.

Tags: Ineffable Divorce | Aziraphale and Crowley Break Up (Good Omens), Post-Break Up, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt, He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel Friendship (Good Omens), Angst and Humor, Crowley-centric (Good Omens), Canon Continuation, Post-Season/Series 02, Post-Episode: s02e06 Every Day (Good Omens), Pre-Season/Series 03, No Aziraphale Slander Here but it is also Crowley's POV so expect at least some Thoughts, Angry Crowley (Good Omens), Running Away, Both in the Emotional and Literal Sense, Because You Don't Have to Deal with Your Romantic and Personal Issues in Washington State. Obviously, (incorrect: you very much do), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), (even if he won't admit it), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), (another thing he won't admit), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), They're just being stupid, Not A Fix-It, References to God(s), Romantic Angst, America, United States, Fire Lookout, Remember Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires (Unless You Are Anthony J. Crowley), hey is it healthy to repeatedly relive a past trauma to deal with a breakup? asking for a friend, Scene: The Bookshop Fire (Good Omens), Fire, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Isolation, When You're Trying to Cope Badly in the American Wilderness but People Keep Talking to You, Radio, Inspired by Firewatch (Video Game), Character Study, Crowley and the Woes of Being In a Narrative That Won't Let You Go, (Fleabag voice) This is a Tragedy, But oh? What's this?, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending

#good omens #crowley #crowley good omens #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #fanfic #my fanfic #my fic #ao3 fanfic #my writing #good omens fic #good omens fanfiction #good omens fanfic #gomens #gomens fic #hey good omens fandom. long time listener. first time caller. i thought i'd dip my toes in writing one of my fav characters #going from a 14th doctor fic straight to this was very funny because like. it's the same actor. similar mannerisms. almost the same voice #but they couldn't be any more different. move over 'weeelll' we've got 'ngk' and 'ngh' now #this story was an absolute joy to write. it was so fun getting to write in a style somewhat similar to the good omens book #like the fic is still perfectly angsty trust me but boy was it fun to be a little bit funny with it #also apologies for the long arse title. my brain decided that a good omens fic needed a really long and ridiculous name #to everyone who already knows me: yep. i'm writing a story with radios again. it's either ghosts or radios or both guys i'm sorry #different fandom. same old ideas #i am also furthering my brand that is writing long as heck oneshot fics. chapters? haven't heard of 'em #fyi crowley is literally the only character who shows up in this fic in person. everyone else is pure audio baby #'tis the isolated life of a fire lookout. even if that's the only part of the job that crowley's doing correctly #(the demon is...going through it folks. don't try this at home)

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novelconcepts · 6 months

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more and more it's feeling like we just...don't have room for people trying anymore. it's all or nothing; get it right the first time, or be crucified by a jury you can never fully see or convince. and this isn't new, isn't born of current events. it's become more and more prevalent over the last ten years thanks to social media putting every little thought on blast, but i'd put money on the idea that it's actually been brewing much longer than that. and, for me, it goes beyond being tiring or upsetting. it feels bleak. it feels downright fucking broken that we're all so busy trying not to condone anything remotely problematic that we don't leave room for good faith learning. watching people trying to suss out their own identity--something literally ONLY they can fully understand or explain--be vilified for trying to fit words around their own experience sucks. watching people misunderstand something and try to apologize for it later, only to be told they should have known all along, sucks. seeing people who once held truly toxic beliefs actually grow and learn and apologize and still be told to fuck themselves as if they're a lost cause--it sucks. just. does that not fill you with despair for the state of things? does that not break something in you, to think that if you one day don't understand something, or misuse a word, or grapple with complicated feelings, it will forever stain you in the eyes of perfect strangers?

dude the world is fucked, and we all see it, but like. it doesn't feel like it helps to be so goddamn reactive. it doesn't feel like it helps anyone to demand perfection out the gate. it's exhausting. there are enough people out there who don't want to learn, who aren't trying, who actively revel in cruelty. looking for malice in every little fuck-up from people who seem to be genuinely striving to live their lives with kindness strikes me as lending strength to an army that already glories in suffering. and makes the world look more fucked than ever. and i really don't know that that energy is what we need when there's already so much to set right.

maybe it's just me. maybe this last decade just shattered something in me. but i really, really hate the idea--reject the idea, frankly--that people can't learn and change and grow. that people can't be better than a bad day or a failure of understanding. i reject the idea that people are something to be thrown out because they fucked up. it just seems...yeah. bleak. really fuckin' bleak.

#personal #i dunno dude #this is that fighting energy from earlier. found some actual words for it i guess #but i'm just so tired #shit's fucked. some shit's complicated. and some isn't--some feels incredibly straightforward to me.#and to the next person maybe there's more nuance. it's all so fucking...there's so much to process all the time #and i catch myself in knee-jerk mode #i catch myself writing people off. making lists in my head. sometimes it's just purely a matter of safety #but god the things i'd give for some of those people to come back into my world #to learn. to grow. to apologize. to decide they value kindness and life over brainwashed beliefs #i would give so much for those friends back. those family members. those people i knee-jerk wrote off back in 2015 #i shrunk my world down when i cut them out. i shrunk it down when i told them to fuck off instead of having a conversation #i actively made my safety net smaller in the effort to keep myself protected #and i just keep watching other people do similar things #and thinking like. if i could go back. if i wasn't so hot-headed and Certain that evil thoughts make a person evil #or that miseducation or ignorance or straight-up brainwashing broke a person for good #maybe it would all be different now than it was for my 25-year-old self #i just. i don't fucking know.#people are trying. people need to KEEP trying.#and telling them they're shit for NEEDING to try is only ever going to carve out the part of them that wants to be better #the world is fucked. why help fuck it even more. what is the point of that.#and i'm not saying don't call people on their shit. but maybe calling them shouldn't look like telling them to kill themselves #maybe it should involve a little grace #slamming doors just feels like it makes the house smaller. and shuts off exit routes you might need later #and i kinda wish i'd known that in my 20s

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transvampireboyfriend · 1 year

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"so when are your parents gone, exactly?" Eddie asks

"in a week." Steve tells him. It's the first time Eddie's coming over since they got together, at least to stay the night, and he never really stayed over after movie nights or parties before then, he guesses that's why Steve seemed a little nervous when he asked him.

"you don't have to go if you think it's weird." Steve adds, scrunching up his face "I know the house is too big and cold and ...ugly"

Eddie's expression has been falling as Steve talked. He tilts his head to the side now with a deep frown and makes a point of gently grabbing Steve's face, one hand at a time, looks into his eyes.

"No place can be those things for me if it has you in it" Eddie says sincerely, sees the deep blush start on Steve's cheeks and kisses him before he can hide.

Steve earnestly kisses him back and then still hides afterwards, tucking his warm face into Eddie's neck, their bodies slotting together like puzzle pieces.

Eddie hugs him from underneath his arms, slowly rubs his shoulder blades and caresses down his back, content to pet Steve until he decides he's ready to come back.

Sometimes they'll have whole conversations like this, Eddie always makes a point of squeezing Steve when he starts untangling himself, shows him he enjoys the contact and wants it as much as Steve does.

This time, Steve asks as soon as they're face to face again: "so you'll stay over?" and Eddie gives him a small sweet kiss, drags Steve's bottom lip down with his thumb afterwards as he says "yeah, baby. in a week then" and kisses him again, reassuring.

#steddie #steddie headcanon #steddie fic #stranger things #this is ...WILDLY self indulgent i apologize if it's ooc #i basically treat them as my ocs 😬#also this was kind of but not really inspired by Adure's ''there are things I'd like to do'' on ao3 #just don't think that's ooc. it's not. it's wonderful and i highly recommend it i love it with my whole heart #Steve is nervous to ask Eds to his house in that fic too but for different reasons i think #and their personalities are v different there than what I indulgently write them as #so go read that it's much better #it's wonderful #and leave em kudos and comments #ok. bye #touchy needy steve my beloved #.

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egginfroggin · 3 months

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(Tags from this reblog) (so, so late in responding to these, ouf)

Yeah, it is a horrible time for everyone!

(This got super long, so full rant is under the cut)

Ingo was raised to believe that his powers, like Emmet's, were a gift from one of the Dragons.

He's has been under the impression that his powers -- while unusually strong -- should be able to be controlled, and believes that he is at fault for his own lack of control.

In actuality, bonds are needed to temper the uncontrolled ice that Kyurem cursed him with at birth. The powers grew with age, and unfortunately, Ingo was cut off from the very thing he needed to have any hope of controlling them.

On Kyurem's side of things, however, it sought to spread the same agony of isolation that it felt to the humans that scorn it. Its curses, throughout the ages, always end in tragedy -- the cursed child is either killed, or goes mad and winds up dead by force or by choice.

Ingo is the first cursed child it has ever met, and it was intrigued by him. Here's this isolated, lost soul, deprived of the warmth all children should have, and yet he isn't mad. He's more sad, than anything, and desperate to keep his twin and kingdom safe.

So, curiously, it shares the secret of controlling its powers -- the warmth of bonds -- and forms a connection with Ingo. Ingo gets some control over his "gift," and Kyurem gets a bond for the first time in centuries, if not the first time ever.

So they both get solace and find a level of understanding in each other, and then things go wrong, and Emmet finds Ingo. Cue interaction and separation (may have dropped him down a chasm, oops), and Ingo's emotions becoming once again volatile and full of guilt.

Kyurem chooses arguably the worst time to confess that it cursed Ingo, because Ingo is already full of guilt and self-hatred for hurting Emmet again, and the Kyurem basically tells him that he was never meant to control himself.

Ingo was, as per Kyurem's interference, essentially born to sow misery in his family. Kyurem, when it cursed him, wanted him to be miserable, and to spread that cold hatred to those around him, because Kyurem couldn't do that itself.

Control wasn't ever anything Ingo was meant to have.

Needless to say, the abrupt realization that, frankly, none of this is Ingo's fault simultaneously lifted an enormous weight from his shoulders and incited the worst, most vicious wrath Kyurem has ever been on the receiving end of.

I remember mentioning that bonds need to be reciprocated and upheld. The bond between Ingo and Emmet is all but broken, and while Emmet keeps offering his end, Ingo never picks it up and ties it to his own, completing the connection.

Ingo breaks their bond just about immediately, which leaves them both worse off than they were before, because Kyurem can now properly mourn its isolation, and Ingo properly embraces his own (symbolized by his eyes adopting a sulfur tone and his skin turning pallid, almost gray, visually matching with Kyurem).

So... yeah, betrayal is a good word for it. Ingo has been trusting Kyurem and eagerly accepting its tutorship in the hopes of bettering himself, and then he finds out that... basically, it was this or death, and was always meant to be death.

Everything about Ingo's existence at that point in the fic is a happy (read as: miserable) accident set in place by Kyurem.

And Kyurem didn't even tell him, didn't even think to tell him, until when? When he tells it that he almost killed his twin again? When he's a mess of emotions? When he's already poured everything he has into their connection, worn his heart on his sleeve and confessed every bit of self-blame he's ever felt to it?

It tells him that it was all unnecessary?

It couldn't have said as such earlier, so that he'd have had even a tiny, modicum of a chance at making things right?

No amount of regret can fix this.

#iced tracks #eggin's writings #submas #subway boss ingo #kyurem #kyurem doesn't even really try to apologize it's just. yeah.#the problem with forming a bond is that it softens people in a way #kyurem came to care about ingo #and so it feels the loss that much more strongly #also! ingo is the only person who knows where kyurem is incidentally #so when he winds up back at the castle kyurem is really alone #I'd like to point out that ingo does plan on making amends with the legendary #because he does kind of still need to fix what he did #but he needs to cool off first or else he doesn't know what will happen #and unfortunately he never gets the chance #because that's when drayden and ghetsis (especially ghetsis) find him #so! bad times :>#thank you for the tags!#edit: just realized how long this is so I put in a read more

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arcxnumvitae · 2 months

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The fandom mischaracterization stuff from yesterday now has me fondly reminiscing.

#I've been on this site since 2015 and I kept remarking a few years back how I'd manage to mostly avoid seeing and being involved in mess #and the universe heard that. and it laughed.#I think my favorite was seeing someone years ago write out a call out post about how their mutuals and muses had mistreated their muse #in some inter-muse relationship drama #/and then tagged them in it/#and then I kid you not #ended the post saying 'and don't apologize to me (the mun). All apologies need to be made to (muse) and they better be genuine'#I love T.umblr where else are you going to find mess like this

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daz4i · 1 year

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the new op is making me insane so i’m gonna try to overanalyze its visuals, what i think the symbolism means, how it connects to this season and the manga arcs coming after it. all of it is my interpretation ofc, feel free to disagree and i encourage you to add your own takes!

i’m not gonna go over every single detail, either because i have nothing to say about it or i’m not sure what it could mean, which is another reason i encourage you to add your own analysis in a reblog if you want to :3

warning for major spoilers for the manga under the cut, as well as unholy amounts of reaching lol

first thing i wanna look at is uh. that one fyodor shot, and specifically the second before it

the number of hands is a little odd to me. at first i noticed 4 sets of hand so my immediate thought was “oh, one set for every doa member, minus bram since he doesn’t have any” but noticing that 9th one coming alongside his face threw a wrench in that. so, assuming this number is purposeful, i have a few ideas:

1. it’s not just the doa involved, but the rats as well. both organizations have 5 members we know of. fyodor is in both organizations, meaning that combined, we have 9 people, and a hand for each one

2. it IS just the doa, and 2 hands for each member (bram included), except for fyodor who is both a hand and a head. he is the strategist and planner, thus he is the head, while the others are more like the ones who execute his plans, so they merely get to be hands (not sure how much i love this theory considering at the end of the day he is not their leader, but if you stretch it you could say that in this season we have no reason to assume he isn’t the doa leader so there’s no reason to imply otherwise? or a future implication that he’s letting fukuchi think he’s the leader but is actually manipulating him? yeah i dunno)

3. another one i don’t particularly love, but: it’s less about the number of hands, and rather about the finger highlighting the number 5, since this is going to be a key thing this season

okay, on to a more obvious one:

tachihara has his back to us, as to not reveal his identity yet

he is looking upon a purple background, a color we see in some mafia members’ abilities, hinting at him belonging in the mafia

once again, tachihara has his back to us. aside from him, all of the hunting dogs are revealed to the audience and looking forward (even if not 100%), except for fukuchi who is looking to the side, and is behind the pillar, making him visually separated from the rest of the group, since he belongs in the doa rather than the hunting dogs

couple of things you might be able to get from this:

1. sigma looking to the side, his back to nikolai and bram. he is not willingly in the doa or supports their goals, more dragged along for the ride. he is a part of the group, but has his eyes shut and his back turned to them, some sort of buffer to imply his separation from them

2. the main thing we see of nikolai is his overcoat. ngl i’m not sure what the symbolism in this could mean but it feels important so i wanna point it out for maybe other people to connect the dots i can’t. possibly, this shot is to highlight the tools at the doa’s disposal, aka sigma and bram as themselves, but nikolai mainly used for his ability...?

so. first of all. they’re and red and blue, opposites of each other in color and in direction as well

but the interesting thing to me is that they’re each others’ colors - with the ada usually presented in blue and the mafia in red, here we have it backwards. possibly to imply their (partial) role reversal in the eyes of the public, the ada now being demonized and hunted by the law while the mafia gets to lay low and offer assistance

possibly, you could stretch it to say their role reversal is in part about how fukuzawa would have to sacrifice a member for his organization in order to get what he needs, a thing that’s mori-like to do

speaking of blue to symbolize the ada, ango is clad in a blue light, implying his upcoming alliance with the ada

we see fukuchi using shintō amenogozen in his battle with atsushi and akutagawa

i’ve seen people say this part of the op implies their battle will be in this season and i’m ngl, i don’t think there’s any chance of that. it’s way too much story to cram into this season. i think this part is, for now, just to imply the ada and pm working together against the hunting dogs, and him using this sword and fighting them at the same time is just a nod to sharp eyed manga readers (same with the bram cameos)

that being said. i want you to pay attention to the color of his ability in this frame (it’s a surprise tool that’ll help us later!)

yosano and the butterfly, and we specifically see her from the side, with her butterfly hairpin shining, putting emphasis on her upcoming backstory

okay, now we’re getting into the character face closeups, and here i’m gonna use these handy posts from @/dazaistabletop for reference, bless your soul for getting all of them fr 🙏

the main thing i want to get from it is the colors. tldr: the ada is a teal-ish blue, the mafia is red and purple (depending on their abilities), the guild is yellow, the hunting dogs is white, the special division is brownish-orange, the doa are the same dark blue from fukuchi’s ability earlier. this does match the general color of the members’ abilities through every group as well.

when it comes to the order of the frames, i think it’s mostly random (tho, with key characters coming early, and more minor characters we barely even really see this season if at all showing up near the end) except for a few pairs:

dazai and fyodor are the first 2 frames, the key foils of this season

fukuchi and fukuzawa are one after the other because they are divorcing each other

akutagawa and atsushi are the ones to close this section and the opening as a whole, as they often do as the key foils of the entire series

a few frames i want to highlight in particular:

tachihara’s purple is lighter than the other mafia members’ purple (added gin for comparison), implying his belonging to the hunting dogs

mushi is brown too?? not sure what that implies ngl. mostly pointing it out as a request for anyone to chip in with their own take on that

despite not working for the guild anymore (and given that he’s without his glasses we have to assume this is him working for fyodor), nathaniel is still in yellow. like with mushi, i’m not sure what that could mean. maybe they just didn’t want to figure out a color for the rats for 2 frames i dunno. again if you have your own take, hit me

poe is fully colored the same color as the ada 🥺 he’s fully part of the team by now (ok now do lucy next.)

the text appears for just two frames, nikolai and akutagawa. for akutagawa, it blends with his red background, but for nikolai it actively stands out and covers his already covered eye. unfortunately i can’t read japanese, so i would love that if someone who does sees this could tell me what the text says to see if that means something as well 🙏

edit: according to my friend @/almightyrozenidiot apparently it says rashomon! and i’d guess it’s in red because this is the color of this ability, after all. i still think its placement on nikolai’s covered eye is interesting, esp given how much it stands out (the other ability names flashing on screen in that sequence are written in white, i barely even noticed they were there), and i wonder if this might imply some future thing asagiri’s planning between them.

okay, so you were probably wondering why i skipped the fyodor flowers moment, and this is why

so. i tried figuring out what at least some of the flowers are to maybe see if there’s meaning there and either couldn’t, or the ones i did recognize did not align with anything meaning wise, so i figured the colors stand more for the colors of abilities we’ve seen so far, and mainly the ada and port mafia

the faces frames in the end of the op establish the special division’s color as orange, hence the two small orange flowers (and their yellow center could be for the guild). they definitely stand out less, as for now they are a smaller pawn in the plan. the ada - marked with the blue flowers and green leaves - are the biggest target of the current phase of the plan, and that’s why they’re closest to his face and make the most of the flowers, size wise

the only purely white ability we’ve seen so far is natsume’s. as the mediator between the three main organizations in yokohama, it makes sense for him to be in the middle of all these colors. the same white flowers are also on the outside (as seen below), since he is mainly watching things unfold from the side.

will also add that at times, no longer human appears as white or grey as well (tho usually - but not always - with a slight blue tint). this also makes sense given that dazai was in both the mafia and ada, and serves as a mediator or communicator between them at times, hence put in the middle as well.

unfortunately, i can’t tell what the pink flowers are meant to be. the only ability i can think of that’s pink is lucy’s (i don’t recall ever seeing the colored circles when she activates it, but given what anne’s room looks like it seems like a fair assumption), but it’s weird she’d get such a big part of this frame just for herself. maybe it’s because of how big her role is in helping the ada this season? again, if you have your own take please go ahead and share it!!

the flowers then stop growing and start withering as the white flowers take over

could not for the life of me find what these flowers are unfortunately, but, white flowers in general usually mean some form of purity and innocence. this does align with fyodor’s ultimate plan - to purify the world of abilities. white flowers often symbolize holiness as well, since his plan is, to him, the will of god

notice that the flowers have 5 petals as well, a repeating number of this arc and in many of the doa’s plans

edit 2: @/larathia pointed out in the comments that these flowers are japanese snake gourds! and apparently, in hanakotoba they mean “hatred of men”. yeah that checks out with fyodor lol

and... i think that’s all i have for you today! i hope you liked it! once again encouraging you to reblog with your own additions on things i might’ve missed or your own take on things, and i hope you all have a lovely day 🙏🖤

#bungou stray dogs #bsd analysis #bungo stray dogs season 4 #bsd s4 #bsd spoilers #bsd fyodor #bsd fukuchi #bsd fukuzawa #bsd tachihara #bc those 4 are the main repeating characters here hehe #this took like 3 hours to write so i'd really appreciate reblogs if possible 🥺#apologizing for any typos or english errors btw heh. i did type most of this out in a slight frenzy bc this op makes me very excited :P #dan rambles #edit: added some stuff!! hope this doesn't make the post be hidden in search results omg

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