#i’m trying to only tag the really relevant characters but ugh it’s hard

[scrawnytreedemon]

Shit I’ve Been Winding Up For A Long Time Now But Am Very Aware Will Probably Hold No Relevance Should I Actually Go Into This More--

This is about Bhunivelze.

I.

You know, when I was chilling out, on my bed, that evening on that half term in early June, deciding to check up on ClementJ64′s FF retrospective because-- Hey! It’s been awhile, I wonder if he’s got around to doing the final bit of the FFXIII saga --You know, I was there, chilling, just for a laff. Just a laff.

The rest of that week was spent spiralling into a hyperfixation I absolutely did not anticipate in any way, shape, or form, because the way they introduced that character was “wwhdhfjjhHJDFJKHKJHW H A T??”

That retrospective and a good amount of wiki-scrounging is all I have as a basis for this. This is not a coherent character analysis-- Though I might tag it as that for ease of access. This is not, by any means, the thoughts of someone deeply familiar with FFXIII on the whole beyond plot synopses and overarching themes.

I don’t think I’m brave enough for that.

Reading the vast yet surface-deep lore on those wiki pages on my birthday while in a delirious state of mind was enough to make me somewhat nauseous.

Do you think I’m going to go through all of that in real time?

(Someday, someday.)

Ugh, I don’t know how to begin, but let us, I guess. I’d recommend you read this church-mime-demiurge’s FF Wiki page if you want the same level of base-knowledge I had, and maybe the aformentioned retrospective if you want the experience, because I don’t think I have the wherewithal to get into all of that from the bottom-up.

I am also, so, so fucking sorry for any remaining FFXIII fans in advance. There is like, a good chance I may be butchering the characterisation completely, so bear with me here.

With that... we begin?

Where do we even start with this guy?

How on earth to you begin to explain the absolute monolith you’ve constructed from crumbs of a Guy, some material no doubt spliced in from the Pale King, Sephiroth, y o u r  o w n  G o d  O C and other characters, and the mountains of religious trauma you carry around at all times that is probably the only reason you’ve been able to latch on as hard as you did?

I’m going to try.

What gets me, in summary, about Bhunivelze is how he’s a prime example of how love and concern can become deadly forces if in the wrong hands. His first acquainting with human emotion was by deceiving and possessing Hope, reverting his body to a teenage state, and planning to live among humanity through him. He sees human sorrow and suffering, and decides that, to End This(because it must be ended, you see) he’s going to destroy all the souls of the deceased that make up the Chaos that’s been eating this world for the past five-hundred years so they all forget and Are Happy. :).

Capital G God here hasn’t been present for the vast part of human history because he’s hidden himself away from Everything due to paranoia from killing his own mother and throwing her body into the Cosmic Basement, THEN creating the beings that would come to create humanity and OTHER beings because he didn’t have the keys to the cosmic basement. And also he believes death is a thing because she’d’ve somehow cursed all things to pass(including him) out of Spite.

Which explains why he’s so fucking averse to it and anything to do with it.

Bhunivelze, to put it lightly, is Shit at stepping into others’ shoes and Getting their experiences-- All the FalCie in FFXIII are, but him especially. It’s clear(again, in the f u c k i n g JP--) that he makes attempts to sympathise with them and does what he can to help, but it’s with such a loftiness and a complete inability to Understand why anyone would want grief, The Worst Fucking Experience In Existence, and even less why they’d be willing to Go Up Against Him And HisThe New Perfect World just for it-- And what would it matter, anyway, forgetting their loved ones. It’s not like you can grieve lost memories, right?

Right.

It reminds me of when at the end of the story of Job in the Bible, where, after putting this man through hell on earth, God rewards Job by giving him ten new children to make up for the ones that he lost. I. And that’s fucked! Nothing can replace the sheer uniqueness of each individual person you loved so dearly! But if you were a nigh-omnipotent deity high and mighty, with a cursory, almost mechanical knowledge on the functionings of the human psyche, that would seem adequete; enough.

Bhunivelze is doing that on a cosmic level.

I now want to get onto the romance: that being, his affections for Lightning. I don’t know how much I’m going to say, but it’ll probably be alot. It’s something that hits very close to home.

There is this... thing, within certain branches of Christianity, perhaps even in those of various Abrahamic faiths, where God’s love is posited to be the love-- The ultimate, most-fulfilling, all-encompassing love you could ever imagine --Because, well, he is love, so the story goes, and so often the best way to convey that is through the imagery of...

Marriage.

Giving up yourself so completely, to serve, to be the Bride; to be bound by him for all eternity; and for there to be no higher bliss than this.

This angle is pushed on young girls and women the most; from the mere parallels to the woman’s role in marriage, all the way down to downright-horrifying ultra-Evangelical purity pacts. With men, God is your dad, your best bud and confidant, your boss, your king, your this, your that, and the ‘marriage‘ as it were is relegated to a sort of half-thought; a metaphor.

For me, God was an attempt at all that, and my arranged groom.

(It was almost incestuous; was incestuous, that my own Divine Father would reach for my hand in marriage.)

Bhunivelze experiences Emotions™ for the first time through Hope, experiences Hope’s sheer overwhelming admiration for Lighting(whether there were any baby-crush feelings mixed in, I can’t say), and promptly falls into a nigh-romantic obsession with Lightning, deciding that she will be Etro(his all-but daughter)’s replacement, will be his Goddess of Death to-be-- He even calls her as such, before the final boss-battle--

...In the JP.

What happened in localisation, probably due to a number of factors, all the way back in early 2014, was that everything emotionally challenging about Bhunivelze was scraped off, like it was extra fat, and tossed aside, leaving us with the bland, clichéd shell of a foe-god we’ve seen time and time again. And I mean everything. I mean his very love for humanity; the fact his ploy was, in his eyes, to save them. Because if they’d left that all on, then it would raise the question of even if there was such a seemingly pure, all-knowing, loving being hell-bent on setting things “straight,“ would they truly be unquestionable? Would we have the right to fight for our humanity in the face of the Creator of the Universe?

To reject a love so personal?

That’s what gets me about FFXIII’s tackling of God, no matter how hackneyed and poorly-executed. It’s personal.

It’s from a feminine experience.

I know that terming is... vague, and problematic, but the way Christianity and much of the video game industry handle femininity itself is weird and problematic, so as it stands, I’ll have to simplify it. Apologies.

What sets FFXIII’s Let’s Kill God™ plot aside from most JRPG Let’s Kill God™ plots is that with our protagonist being a woman, and one who is very in touch with her femininity alongside her sheer strength; often, in these stories, God is reduced to Yet Another Foe, expected or unexpected, and you are tasked with taking him down unquestioningly for the Good of Mankind-- You will fight God, because you are right to, and you will go man-to-man-to-however-many-men you decide to bring along for the bloodbath.

And that just, doesn’t speak to me.

Even as an Extian.

Especially as an Extian. And an AFAB one with a deeply complicated experience with my gender, at that.

Leaving Christianity was painful. Questioning God was painful. Coming to terms with the fact that I had been mentally, emotionally, and spiritually traumatised under the guise of All-Encompassing Love was so, so fucking painful. I had been taught since I was five years old to devote myself to him, spent my life desperate to feel something, anything, to stay connected because I just, I never could Feel It on a deeper level, never could Give Up Myself, all I was, couldn’t Die A Spiritual Death And Be Reborn As His Eager Vessel, thus deeming myself to be worthless and a broken vessel for years and years on end... And for all that to have been... Nothing.

Lightning is hollowed out, the shards of her dead sister ripped from her in-stasis, leaving her emotionally numb for the majority of the game, Bhunivelze sweeps it under the rug, pretends he’ll perform a miracle and return Serah to life in exchange for her compliance, then sends her on her way to do his work, all the while knowing he’s going to pull said-rug from under her and elevate her such dizzying heights in the aftermath--

That he’ll deny her humanity.

Sand down all the rough edges that make her her, and polish her up afterwards, gild her as he is gilded, make her a Goddess.

And he’ll do it all because he loves her.

You can’t fight God like you can everything else. To fight It is the fight Existence Itself; FFXIII even conveys that by making Bhunivelze’s model part of the arena; it’s baked into the fabric of the game, no matter how minute.

While Lightning Returns is far from perfect in its execution of this concept, and that in itself makes me wince, not even taking into account the horribly botched excuse for a localisation Bhunivelze endured, it speaks to me more than anything else I’ve seen so far.

And it’s helped uncover some things within me. Helped me untangle them, just a little more.

So, yeah. I have alot of Thoughts on Bhunivelze, I want to share them, and I’m kinda really sad I have no one but my currently-absent friend Vee to share them with. I could get into alot more, like his very Fucked relationship with familial bonds, and how Lightning’s role as saviour so deeply parallels the overwhelming panic and never-ending guilt of Evangelical proselytisation, but I think I’ll leave those for another time.

In short, Bhunivelze is the epitome of Divine Love gone deeply wrong; on all fronts.

And if all of that isn’t enough to intrigue you, then, in Vee’s words, Lightning and Velze are literally canon endgame Sefikura lmaOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--

#ffxiii #lightning returns #bhunivelze #analysis #scrawny speaks #scrawny rambles #this was written on and off over the course of a couple months #i know this will only get two notes #if even that #but fuck it i love this guy and i'm going to puke words for his sake #religion mention

[siennahrobek]

I had so many ideas on what to write about today but I was scrolling through the Obi-Wan tag during my break and I came across a huge post that had been baffled and a bit crazed. It was labeled about forgiveness and mercy and such but it was like a huge insanely interpreted post about the Jedi Order and some of the characters. Of course I wasn't about to start any sort of argument (and wow was the post long) but I just had to write something, at least, in my own post, unconnected with theirs. I guess this is a reaction and buckle up cause it seems like this is going to be a long one. I have a lot to say and I'm not gonna stop being all anxious about it until I do but uh....

I'm sorry, did we watch the same movies?

They go through a lot of movies and completely do a opposite take on the Jedi; how they are "unattached" (I say this because there are so many misconceptions about the word) and celibate (which we know isn't actually true) and how Anakin becomes living proof why this attitude is wrong.

First of all, it's not an attitude; it is a way of life. One that has worked for thousands of people over millennia. Second; their point WAS proven. Anakin turned to the dark side and became a sith. He committed genocide after genocide (the Jedi, Mandalore, Alderaan, Lasan etc.) and in the end, he only turned back because of his son. Which, may seem good on the surface, but it only goes to show how no other children or people that he murdered actually mattered, it was only his blood child that did. But that's not where I'm going. You don't actually see him regret doing the countless things he has done (probably because he dies) and he only does this because of his blood son. It, for me, gives the impression that blood means everything.

Anyways, there is quite a bit of talk about Obi-Wan and honestly? It is all not good. I'm not blind to Obi-Wan's faults but in general? He is a really good person; he tries so hard and goes through so much and is ugh, always trying. Obi-Wan shows no understanding? What? What? Did we watch the same movie? I mean it has been a while since I have watched Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith (they hurt my heart because ugh) but that is NOT what I remember. I remember Obi-Wan teasing Anakin gently to get his mind off of his anxieties when they were going to see Padme again. I remember Obi-Wan saying "dude don't be a horny teenager" (not in those words obviously, but that was essentially the message). I remember him literally parenting and teaching him - like he's supposed to do. I remember him trusting Anakin to do the right thing and to protect the Senator alone, by himself. I remember Anakin saying he's been having dreams - not visions or anything and nothing specific, just about his mom - and Obi-Wan going "it's alright dude, those pass in time". I mean everyone has DREAMS, that's not beholden to force-sensitives. My dreams sure as heck don't mean anything. Just cause he is a Jedi and COULD have visions, does not mean they are. And he didn't tell Obi-Wan they were visions, he literally says dreams.

(this is about the time that I wish I could work with gifs and understand them)

Anakin is not stronger than Obi-Wan; I mean, really? Sure, more powerful? I guess? But let's go back. Who beats who on Mustafar? Obi-Wan. Who does NOT murder a bunch of children and turn to the dark side? Obi-Wan. Literally, sure, he's more "powerful" with the Force, because I guess that is the whole point but he's not stronger or wiser than Obi-Wan because as Captain Rex said "experience outranks everything" and man, does Obi-Wan have a lot of that.

Let's take a break and go to Shmi. They claim that her death is a dark page in the Jedi's book. I mean, w-what? How can you possibly blame the Jedi for Shmi's death? For not freeing her? Did Qui-Gon even tell the Council that Anakin was a slave? I don't remember, honestly. But still, she ended up freed and married to a man she fell in love with. And if I remember correctly, someone was sent (by Padme maybe? to free her but she was already gone to the Lars' by that point).

Okay, I know it sounds like I am reacting to a post and well I am I suppose. But like, this post is literally blaming the Jedi for Shmi's death and how they did not offer Anakin compassion. And then just to say that it is bothersome how Anakin was solely blamed. Uh, because he was a the perpetrator! How can you possibly justify the MURDER of children. Even though it not the Jedi way, I could understand, sort of, if he went after the people that hurt his mother specifically; probably some of the men/warriors/adults. But the babies? The children? You can literally not justify that. And to blame the Jedi Order and Obi-Wan for not "taking his nightmares seriously?" Are you serious? Anakin mentioned the dream (DREAM) once in passing, there is no indication that he said that she was in danger or that this was a vision. And visions are known to be notoriously unreliable! Not to mention, the Council is responsible for the Jedi as a whole - that is thousands of people.

Alright, now to the war.

There was a claim that throughout the war, the Jedi became more and more aloof, intolerant and unforgiving and determined to win despite the suffering of the people.

What. The. Krutack.

I will include the Clone Wars series, since it was directly referenced in response. Once again, did we watch the same show? Because I'm pretty sure that virtually the whole point of the show, aside from showing us horrible things the CIS did and the individuality of the clones, was the compassion and kindness of the Jedi. How they fought to protect as many people as they could. They were dying alongside the clones. Does anyone remember how kind and caring the Jedi were when they came across civilians. Do you remember how Obi-Wan literally carried and protected with his own body the little Twielek girl, Numa, on Ryloth? Does anyone remember how many NON-Republic planets they helped? I remember them helping even CIS senators and planets that had no ties to the Republic. They helped Mandalore even when they were not part of the Republic. The vast majority of Jedi are shown protecting not only citizens but the clones as well. They are on the front lines - not hidden behind a desk (although some are and that is necessary - tactics and strategy people) and trying to save as many lives as they can, even if it costs them. They inspire creativity and individuality in the clones - this is literally a thing. I could go on and on and on.

Okay, on to Revenge of the Sith - the sadness that will probably haunt my heart forever. We will start with Dooku; specifically when Palpatine tells Anakin to kill him and that he deserves it; it is revenge for cutting off his and whatever. And this, this, post asks if this is an act of mercy for the guy kneeling in front of him (and tells him Obi-Wan later denies him) and like, what? How in the world is that mercy? He murders a defenseless man. Sure, he is the enemy and he is a criminal but he is supposed to stand trial (not to mention all the intelligence Dooku could possible give to help win the war) which is incredibly ironic, considering later, Anakin screams at Mace Windu telling him Palpatine should stand trial (even though he is much more dangerous and more of a threat than Dooku). This is not mercy. This is a handless, defenseless (although evil) man who Anakin does actually kill. It is not mercy.

Anakin has dreams about Padme; similar to his mother. You would think he would have learned his lesson and confided in someone by telling them what was actually happening. Anakin once again, DOES NOT give Yoda any specifics, just that he fears someone he is close to will die. It is claimed that he is lacking empathy and compassion to Anakin's dilemma. WHAT DILEMMA? Anakin won't tell anyone anything that could actually help. What Yoda says is true; like "dude, people die and you have to move on from that. You cannot stop death and you cannot let this fear control you. You have to let go" which is a completely reasonable thing; I mean, hello - grief counseling anyone? Yoda probably thought he was talking about Obi-Wan - who was off on a very dangerous mission against a cyborg that had killed many Jedi and padawans; this seems like a very normal fear. Whether or not Yoda says this in the right way is not really relevant; Anakin knows that he has to let go of what he fears to lose because eventually, no matter what, he will lose it. NOTHING is permanent. Now if Anakin had specified he was having what he thought were visions and the actual person in them, I'm sure Yoda would have said things differently and probably helped him.

(Also, did Padme get any real health care or like??? Was it too much of a secret???)

(The genocide of the people in the Temple is conveniently glossed through with bare mention)

and then Mustafar. Contrary to Padme (apparently) Obi-Wan shows no clemency. ANAKIN MURDERED THE ELDERLY, THE SICK/INJURED AND BABIES in the temple. Not warriors, not even full grown men and women (some would be full grown but all the able bodied were probably out in the war trying to defend the universe). He should NOT be granted clemency. Anyone else would probably have been executed for this direct horrifying act. But they seem to gloss over how Obi-Wan is always on the defensive, not really because Anakin is more overpowering (And Obi-Wan does use a defensive style, Soresu) but because he is trying to give Anakin time to chill out and come to his senses. That is literally how the choreography was designed.

And Obi-Wan's last words were? Harsh? What? If I remember correctly, Obi-Wan says something like "You were supposed to destroy the Sith not join them" and when Anakin screams he hates Obi-Wan, the return is "you were my brother, Anakin, I loved you."

That is heart-breaking and sad, not harsh. How can you look at Obi-Wan's face in this scene and call that harsh? How can your heart not break for him?!

Say what you will about Obi-Wan leaving Anakin without "finishing him off". Whether or not this is a mercy, whatever. First, we needed a reason for Vader to be in the suit. Second, Anakin was unarmed; Obi-Wan doesn't go around killing unarmed enemies, much less loved ones. (Hello, the slaver from the series, anyone? He didn't kill him; it is against his beliefs. Rex killed him). Can you even imagine how Obi-Wan was feeling? How could he possibly kill his brother? Like, I have so many feelings and not enough words ahdkjgkjgjkf. Anakin does suffer and Obi-Wan has no reason to believe that Anakin would survive his injuries. Furthermore, if I remember correctly, Palpatine ship was coming? Also, Obi-Wan had to get to Padme - she was injured and more of a priority. Because she is someone he can try to save - Anakin is long gone - in more ways than one.

Although it claimed that they are not denying the terrible things Anakin has done; that is almost kind of what they are doing. They are literally putting Anakin's choices and agency to the fault of the Jedi - not just individuals but the culture and people. It is literally gone on to say that if he had left with his wife, the worst could have been avoided. What was the worst?

Oh, a mass murderer got his legs cut off and accidently burned alive. Uhm, okay, that sucks but you do realize he committed genocide of his entire family right? And he choked his wife into unconsciousness.

I can't even with humans.

There is not even a note to Palpatine and how he manipulated Anakin for years. No blame at all on the man we need to blame the most - they put all the blame on the Jedi which just. Blows my mind.

The Clone Wars proved there was no right choice for the Jedi - they were doomed to fall. Not because of anything they did - they did everything they could - but because of Palpatine's plans and schemes. I will never, ever agree that the Jedi failed because of themselves. I do not think that the "institution" was destined to fall ( that "institution" lasted for longer than the Republic). The Jedi were trying so hard - they were kind and good and compassionate and trying so hard for peace and saving as many lives as they could. The Sith were evil. The CIS was evil. The Senate was corrupt. And the Jedi were trying.

There is so much Jedi-blaming for Anakin's attitude, disposition and choices it is literally driving me insane. Why did I do this to myself?

Things delve into a New Hope and immediately there is bashing of the jedi; where Obi-Wan cuts some guy's arm off at a Cantina and Obi- Wan "lying" that Vader killed Anakin. Which, honestly, I could see that being true. Him being Anakin's murderer, at least. Vader may have Anakin's body but even he claims that he killed Anakin Skywalker. Anakin, at least, how he thought he was, was loyal and passionate and loving - or at least he tried to be. Vader is literally none of these things; there is very little of "Anakin" in Vader. And at first glance, it may seem that Obi-Wan and Yoda are setting Luke up to kill "his father" but honestly, I see it more as preparing him to fight Vader and kill him, if necessary. It's a horrible thing, but they do not outright say anything. And honestly, they were right. Vader is willing to kill Luke - he cuts off his hand and fights him. Okay, I have so much to say about this but that is for another time; i will digress about this particular point (of lying and such)

Luke, apparently, decides to forgive Vader and show him mercy (which is claimed the Jedi and Obi-Wan NEVER did for Anakin, no matter what he did for them which is such BS I'm virtually crying rn)

There is a lengthy talk about Luke trying to rebuild the Jedi culture and how it crushed him, his contrast with Obi-Wan's attitude and shame(?) and how trying to be a Jedi has caused him to fail. Because apparently Luke is the only one who apologized and that makes him different I guess? (How many times has Obi-Wan apologized and thought things were his fault even though they weren't?)

I won't get into the Sequel Trilogy because honestly, it does very little to interest me. I am mostly a Prequel- era person mostly because I love Obi-Wan and the strength and compassion of his character. Finn seemed really interesting to me and man I thought having a female Jedi character would be really great - we had some fantastic female Jedi such as Ahsoka, Shaak Tii, Depa Billaba and so many more - but they were rarely the focus and I thought it would be fun. But, I was a bit disappointed because killing off Han Solo the way they did? Eh. Didn't care for it. I was also in the era of Mara Jade, Jacen and Jaina Solo, Anakin Solo and Ben Skywalker (Luke's son) so perhaps I was a little bias. I didn't really understand why Leia and Han would name their child after someone that they didn't really know (although I do have a headcanon concerning Leia and Obi-Wan which I find hilarious that I love).

I didn't particularly care for the Sequel Trilogy. They made it a Skywalker show and they did an emphasis on romantic love and from what I recall from what I have watched, the majority of the characters weren't nearly as interesting or compelling to me. And then bringing Palpatine back, sighs. Why does it always come back to him? That is just exhausting.

I'm not hating on the Sequels; everyone is allowed to like things or whatever. I just didn't; they focused so much on Rey and Kylo Ren (who I actually have a bit of an opinion on but I won't right now) instead of the more intriguing characters. I would have been much more interested in Finn as a Jedi. To overcome what he has been through as a stormtrooper and becoming a Jedi would be a really interesting story. I didn't care for how they handled Luke. And I didn't like how Rey apparently became a master so fast without any real training? Even Anakin, the Chosen One, the most powerful force-wielder, had ten years of training under Obi-Wan and the Jedi. That stuff doesn't just...come; you learn it.

I wrote more about the Sequel Trilogy than I care too. I suppose this is a rather reaction post but wow; I felt like me and this person had watched two separate movie trilogy/shows. It boggles my mind on how people can get the opposite of something that was so clearly shown. I hope I didn't upset anyone too bad. I'm not hear to start a fight, just to get out some feelings.

I wrote this all instead of homework that I desperately need to do. Sighs.

I need to go through my likes and read some good Jedi content cause man, that, that was hard.

#obi wan kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #Ahsoka Tano #Yoda #Rey #Ben Solo #Kylo Ren #Luke Skywalker #reactions #commentary #Star Wars #prequel trilogy #original music #Sequel trilogy #the clone wars #tcw #the clones #pro jedi #jedi order #I love the Jedi #in defense of the jedi #Genocide #the jedi are amazing #Obi-Wan Kenobi deserves better #The Jedi deserved better #Honestly this is why I stay before Original trilogy era #because I love the Jedi Order #It is so good and beautiful #Infinite sadness #I'm not trying to start a fight

[waywardbeanie]

A Man of Letters - Chapter Thirteen

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader Summary: It started as a simple hunt for Sam and Dean Winchester. Dean didn’t realize that this single case would change his life forever. Now they are on the biggest mission of their lives, and without the use of cellphones, the only way he can communicate with the love of his life is through old fashioned letter writing. He has done everything in his power to keep her safe, but will it be enough? Word Count: 7889

Series Warnings: Language, slow burn, angst, smut, alcohol consumption, fluff, SPN typical violence (individual chapters will contain relevant warnings) a little meta Chapter Warning: SPOILER if you have not seen Season 14, humor (Is that really a warning?) and a little bit of sweet.(Always), angst.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read this series so far, I have loved writing it and watching the characters grow. I appreciate EVERY ONE OF YOU who are taking this journey with me. We are a little less than half way there so BUCKLE UP!

Thank you to my beta @winchest09​ and my mind melder, idea bouncer and my cheerleader @whatareyousearchingfordean​​ I would be lost without you both!

MASTERLIST A Man of Letters

If you’d like to be tagged, my list is open. Just send me an ask HERE: **Make sure you check out the playlist, it is updated every chapter and an essential part of the story**

Spotify Playlist : A Man of Letters

Catch up here >>>>>>> A Man of Letters Masterlist

This series is ongoing!

No Gif’s are mine

                                         Dean "I Build Shit" Winchester

                                                   PO Box 323

                                             Sioux Falls, SD 57101

Dear Dean,

I decided to go up to the cabin, but don’t worry about sending letters here. I will be back at the bungalow before you mail the next one. I know this job is necessary; we talked about it for a while before you left; I think all of us are just at the end of our rope with how long it is stretching on forever. How did the raids go? I hope that they are turning up something to get this thing moving in the right direction. I’m so glad we redid the inside of the cabin, now that it is entirely different just how we want it, it doesn’t drag up all of my parents' sad memories, only the good ones. Do you remember that we had our first fight here? I think I can count on one hand the number of actual arguments we have had, looking back it seems so silly now,  kind of, but I was so angry and hurt, understandably so. Sam and I were definitely on the same team at that time. The snow is beautiful at the cabin right now; you can see about two dozen ice fishermen from the dock. Jody calls about once a week; we chat, and I know she is checking on me; I’m also sure you know she does. One of the other reasons I came up here is to get away from all of the nosy people. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I think they are great, but one more question from the older people about if I ‘stopped seeing that nice boy’ or the interrogations from the women who are digging for information, I was going to freak out, so off to the cabin I went. I miss Donna too, but I’m glad you have her there. I’m sure she shared the story when she, Jody and I got drunk when they came down to check on me at the cabin during the spring, when everything was a mess. It was rough at the time, but it was a good weekend with them. 

Ugh, these sad-sack letters are killing me. I swear, the next one will be happy; I think all this time away from each other is just hard. Whoever said, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” can kiss my ass because really, all it does is make me miserable or angry, and I hate being either of those things. On a happier note, I drew a picture of the new deck. I think we should build when you come home as you asked me to months ago. I think we should make it larger than the one that is there now. Don’t worry; I can hear you laughing at me  saying, “Of course you do” I think I will close for now and bake some muffins so I can include it with this letter. Please tell everyone I said hello, and I’m seriously counting down the days until you get back here. Please stay safe and watch your ass.

I Love You,

Your Initial

20 months ago

Deans POV

After Michael possessed Dean for the second time, he locked him away inside his mind, using the same beer cooler that Michael had created as Dean's happy place to cage him up. Michael never stopped banging, never stopped trying to get through the door. Still, Dean was confident that he had him locked up for good until Billie, now known as Death, came to see him in the bunker to tell him all of his stories in the library now ended the same, with Michael breaking free and using his vessel to burn their world down, all but one. The book that Billie gave him to let him know he had some choices to make.

Dean walked into the library the next morning to find Sam sitting at the table surrounded by books. “Whatcha reading?”

“Looking for stuff on archangels, it’s pretty interesting stuff,” he commented, looking up to face his brother, a determined look resting on his face.  “Dean, we will find a way to fix this.”

“You know,” Dean gestured to the table, “I appreciate it, everything you have done, and you are doing.”

“Of course,” Sam smiled thinly, “that’s what we do, we are going to beat this. We have a lot to go through, why don’t you pull up a chair? I could use some help.”

“Actually, I thought I would go for a drive, you know me and Baby and a long stretch of road, and while I’m at it I thought I would go see Mom at Donna’s cabin, then Y/N,” he was glancing through the books on the table, doing whatever he needed not to make eye contact with his baby brother.

“Oh...okay,” Sam stuttered. “Yeah, give me a minute so I can get to a stopping point, and I will gather my stuff so we can go.”

“Well, about that,” Dean stalled, “I was hoping for some, one on one time with Mom and I just need to check on Y/N to make sure she is okay and to let her put eyes on me, so she knows I am too.”

Sam’s eyebrows knitted as he looked at his older brother; something wasn’t right, not to mention that he had Michael banging around in his head, yet, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. “It will be good for you to see them, and I know they both want to see you, do whatever you need.”

Dean pressed his lips together, trying to keep the sadness at bay. “Okay.” 

As he walked around the table, he stopped behind Sam and reached around to hug him tightly for just a moment. 

Standing up, he patted his shoulder, “Take care, Sammy.” 

It was then that Sam began to realize there was more to Dean’s visits then he was telling him. The younger Winchester waited until he heard Baby leave the garage to start his search, hoping that he could find some answers to his brother’s decision to leave the bunker.

“Sam,” Y/N smiled as she picked up the phone.

“Hey Tink, how are you doing?” he asked, but she could hear an edge to his voice.

“I’m good.” She was walking around her newly finished kitchen at the cabin, wiping off the counter before she stopped and set the phone down, putting it on speaker. “You don’t sound so good. What’s going on?”

“Have you talked to Dean?”

“Yeah, Dean called last night," she thought back. "He said he was going to see your Mom, then come here, also that he wanted to work on a few things in the boathouse to clear his head. Why, Sam, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know, Tink, I’m worried,” he sighed. “Ever since we locked Michael up, he has been acting strange, and now, he’s packed up and just left when we have so much to do.”

She pulled out one of the stools from the counter and sat down, resting her elbows on the counter and holding her head up with her hands, staring at the phone. “You know how he is, Sam; He hates research when a lot is going through his head, Dean needs to move, that is how he thinks best.”

“I know, it’s just-” she could hear him running his hands through his hair, “he hugged me before he left.”

“Okay…” she scrunched her eyebrows together, “that was nice.”

“Tink, we don’t hug, you know that,” he sighed. “I mean, we do, but it’s literally a life or death thing.”

She covered her face with her hands. “I don’t know, Sam, he will be here late tonight, he is going to have dinner with your Mom first. Have you talked to her?”

“I have, Dean called her and said he would come by because he had a supply run. Maybe you’re right; it could be he needs to work in the boathouse and get moving to clear his head.”

“He and I will talk when he’s here, Sam. If I’m worried or if things don’t seem like they should, I will call you, I swear.”

“Yeah, okay, thanks, Tink,” he sighed, “talk soon.” 

Dean opened the door quietly to the cabin, the only light in the living space was above the stove, giving the area a soft glow. Dean spotted Y/N immediately asleep on the couch. Closing the door softly behind him, he sat down his bag and leaned against the wall, never taking his eyes from her. Curled in a ball, she was facing him; her hair spread on a pillow, Y/N wore a fitted tank top with a pair of plaid boxers that he laughingly referred to as her old man underwear. Her expression was peaceful, with slightly parted lips. He began to wonder if she knew how beautiful she was or how her pure heart had changed his life for the better, but most of all, he questioned if she knew how much he really loved her. Leaving his brother was hard enough, but leaving her would be the most difficult. He wiped at a tear that silently rolling down his cheek, his heart beat painfully in his chest, knowing the anguish that she and Sam would face when they find out he is gone. 

“Babe,” she heard Dean whisper, shaking her shoulder. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” Y/N slowly blinked open her eyes to see him crouched next to her.

“Hey,” she smiled sleepily, “I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep.”

He brushed her hair back and pressed a kiss to her lips. “It’s after 2:00 in the morning; I would have been surprised if you were awake.” He slipped his hand in hers as he pulled her from the couch. “Let’s hit the hay; I'm so tired.”

She followed him groggily as he led her into the bedroom. Once inside, he closed the door behind him as she crawled under the sheets and watched him strip down to his boxers. He pulled down the blankets and slid in, drawing her to his side as she snuggled in and rested her head on his chest, tugging her closer, he kissed the top of her head. Her hand started to roam his chest as she leaned in and ran her lips up his neck to his ear.

He captured her hand with his and stilled it against his chest. “Babe, I really want to, I do, but I’m just exhausted tonight.”

“Okay.” 

That is when she knew something was wrong; when Dean had a lot on his mind having sex was always a top priority, it let him forget about everything else. She snuggled back into him, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Both were staring into the dark, lost in their separate thoughts until sleep finally overtook them. 

The sun was streaming through the window when Y/N woke up the next morning to an empty bed, reaching over she touched his side to feel the cold material under her fingertips. She strained to listen for a moment, hoping to hear him rattling around in the kitchen, but it was dead silent. A feeling of uneasiness washed over her as she got up and walked to the chest of drawers, pulling on a clean hoodie and pair of shorts. She padded out to the kitchen to start coffee then walked over to the window, peeking through the blinds; Baby was still there parked next to her Jeep, so she knew Dean was around here somewhere. Making her way to the bathroom she washed her face, brushed her teeth and then picked up her phone, to call Sam.

“Hey Tink.”

“Sam,” she greeted, jumping right in, “I think you're right, I don’t know what it is, but something is going on.”

“Yeah,” she could hear the concern in his voice, “I think I should come up; there is some stuff missing from the bunker.”

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “Just let me try to talk to your brother. I told you I would call, but maybe he needs some time.”.”

“Okay, okay,” he conceded. “Just let me know if anything changes with him?”

“I will, Sam,” she promised, “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Right,” Sam agreed, “soon.” She didn’t know the younger brother was already on his way to the cabin. He had his suspicions, and none of them were good.

Y/N laid her phone on the counter and finished making her coffee. Picking up her mug, she headed outside to find Dean. Hearing noises coming from the boathouse, so she made her way toward the dock when the sound stopped, and a moment later, Dean walked out the door, slamming it behind him. The look on his face chilled her to the bone; she couldn’t put her finger on it exactly; it was a mixture of anger, resolution, and sadness. When he spotted her standing in the middle of the yard, mug in hand, he pasted a smile on his face, but she knew, even from where she was standing, that he was pretending for her benefit, the smile never reached his eyes.

“Hey Babe, What are you doing out here?” 

“I woke up, and you were gone, I thought maybe you had left, when I saw Baby was still here I thought I would come to find you and see what you were up to.”

“Oh, you know,” he ducked his head so she couldn’t see his face, “just messing around.”

“Anything in particular?”

“No, nothing specific,” he finally looked up, making eye contact. “You know a lot of stuff needs to get done, so I thought I would get a drop on it. Besides-” he opened his arms “-I needed to come see my girl,” he pulled her into him, holding her tight. He closed his eyes, feeling her in his embrace. This is what he was going to think about later when there were no more choices left to make.

She pulled away, looking up at him, her fingers running along the scruff of his jaw as she met his gaze. “Dean, whatever you are going through, whatever you are thinking, you can talk to me.”

He swallowed hard, a pained look sweeping across his face. “You know, everyone keeps asking me how I am, but here's the thing-” he inhaled deeply “-I just don’t want to talk about it, I can’t...please.”

She leaned against him, laying her face into his chest. “If you say so,” she whispered.

Dean kissed the top of her head, lingering for just a moment before leaning back to look at her face. “I’m starving, why don’t we head to that diner in town and grab some pancakes?”

Y/N scrunched her nose, “I’m not really feeling pancakes,” she lied. What she needed was to get in that boathouse to see what the Hell Dean was doing because she knew him well enough to know something was going on, she could feel it in her bones.

“Seriously?” he asked skeptically. “You don’t want pancakes? You love pancakes.”

She shrugged stepping out of his embrace, “I don’t know Dean, I think donuts from the bakery sound really good. Can you go get some?” 

“I guess I could,” he hedged, glancing quickly at the boathouse.

“Great!” she smiled turning to walk towards the cabin. “Can you get the apple fritter and jelly kind? You know those are my favorite.”

Stopping at the steps, he bent to brush a kiss to her lips before continuing on to Baby. Cranking the engine, he glanced one more time at Y/N and roared down the driveway. She stood at the bottom of the steps until she could no longer hear the Impala. Setting down her cup on the steps she turned and glanced at the dock. 

The blood roared in Y/N’s ears, and her heart banged against her ribcage as she quickly made her way to the boathouse she was praying that she could answer what was going on with Dean in there. It was more than just Michael locked away in his head; she could feel it.

The door opened with a loud screech that made her jump. She rolled her eyes to herself; sneaking around was just not her thing. Snapping the switch on, she saw a large metal rectangular box with symbols carved into it. She stood and stared at it for a moment as she swallowed the bile rising in her throat; it looked like a coffin. Y/N slowly made her way to the container. A few books were sitting on the top; with shaky fingers, she flipped open the first one; it had a picture of a casket matching the one in front of her with a skeleton lying inside; she riffled through the pages, scanning them as the realization dawned on her. It is a Ma’lak box, and it's to imprison archangels. She clamped her hand over her mouth as sour taste hit her tongue, her insides twisting. She slammed the book closed and ran out of the boathouse, making it out just in time to lose her stomach's contents on the dock's side. The dry heaves hit her as she finally stood up, wiping her mouth with her sweatshirt sleeve. Her brain was jumping in a thousand different directions at once. 

Dean was going to kill himself. She couldn’t think straight; she pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes in an attempt to get her thoughts together. “SAM!” her head screamed. She sprinted toward the cabin; Y/N knew she left her phone in the kitchen so she would call Sam, he would know what to do. As she was almost to the porch, the roar of Baby’s engine came up the driveway; she had run out of time.

She stood on the porch as Dean got out of the car, a white bakery box in hand. His long strides brought him to the bottom of the steps quicker than she could pull herself together. His smile fell as he saw her pale face and watery eyes.

“Babe, what’s going on?” his face filled with concern.

“No, Dean!” she pointed at him, her voice, a mixture of barely contained anger mixed with hysteria.

He set the box down on the steps, the knot in his stomach growing heavier with the apprehension that she knew his secret. “Tell me Y/N,” he rasped.

“I saw it, Dean,” she shakily accused, “what you are building in the boathouse, what you are planning. How could you do this?”

“It needs to be done. Y/N, there is no other choice.” He ran his hand over his face, resigned. “Billie showed me that if I don’t do this, Michael will break free, and if that happens, he will burn this world down, and I can’t risk that.”

“So what is the big plan, Dean?” she threw her hands up, raising her voice. “You and Michael get in that damn box, and we just pick a spot and bury you?”

“Not exactly,” he shook his head, climbing the steps to join her on the porch.

“Then what?”

“I don’t want to-” he reached for her, but she backed up out of his grasp.

“Bullshit!” she exploded. “You do not get to do this, Dean, you do not get to say you would rather I didn’t know, it’s too fucking late for that.”

“Fine,” his anger rising, “ burying me isn’t good enough, I’m going to find someone with a boat to drop me in the middle of the Pacific,” he brushed his hands together. “Done, problem solved.”

“So let me get this straight,” she started, tears streaming down her face, “ you and Michael, trapped underwater, together until the end of time. You know that’s crazy, right?”

“No Y/N” he sighed, “ it’s the only sane plan there is. Michael can’t get out of that box and he will get out of my head, eventually. So this, it’s the only card I have left to play.”

“Fuck that and fuck Billie!” she yelled, stomping her foot. “There has to be another way! Sam can find another way; you don’t have to do this!”

“Listen,” he pleaded, “Sam has tried, you know he has with Cas and Jack too. There is no other way Michael is coming,” he tapped his temple with his index finger. “I can feel that door in my head giving way; I’m out of options.”

“So that’s it,” she cried. “You came out here to build this, stopped by to see Donna and your Mom for what? To say goodbye, and then just leave? You were going to leave and not say goodbye to Sam or me, just disappear? Do you know how unfair that is?”

Anger and regret flashed in his eyes as he ran his hand through his hair. “I didn’t have a choice, don’t you see that? You two were the last two people on this earth that I could be around because you are the only two that could talk me out of it, and Y/N I won’t be talked out of it, I can’t.” 

She stared at him, her chest heaving, the understanding that she was helpless to stop him washing over her, the pain almost crushing her. “I can’t do this,” she whispered.

“Can’t do what?” he demanded

“I can’t stand by and watch you kill yourself.”

 “I don’t have any other choice,” Dean lamented sadly. “What do you want from me?”

“You know I have never asked you for anything,” she shot back.

“Then ask for something!” he yelled.

“Fine,” she threw up her hands, pacing on the cabin's porch, “I want you to be safe! I don’t want you to die! I just want you to think about-” she choked out a sob.

“What Y/N?” he grasped her shoulders, stopping her misstep. “What is it that you want? Tell me!”

“Really?!” she shouted, jerking out of his grasp but standing her ground, tears continuing to roll down her face. "You want to hear this now? Well, here it is: I want you to love me more than you want to save the fucking world, okay?”

Dean stepped back, flinching as if she had physically slapped him. At that very moment, he realized she had no idea how deep his feelings for her were. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” she laughed humorlessly, “sorry for what, Dean? Sorry for making me fall in love with you, sorry for pretending that we might have a future together, or are you sorry for throwing it all away to lock yourself in a fucking box to die? Please tell me!” She shoved at his chest, but he didn’t move, which made her cry harder in anger. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her; she struggled for a moment before collapsing onto his chest, her mournful cries shredding him inside as he tried to stop his tears from falling. They stood there holding each other, fearing letting go would mean saying goodbye forever.

When Sam pulled into the drive, Dean and Y/N were sitting on the stoop, both looking out to the woods, her hand resting in his. Dean turned to look at his brother; when their eyes met, Sam knew that whatever was happening was terrible; Dean’s eyes were red-rimmed, jaw clenching, and unclenching. Y/N glanced up, the look of anguish scared him. Getting out of the car, he slowly approached them.

“What are you doing here, Sammy?” Dean asked, his voice raspy and monotone. 

“Some things were missing from the bunker,” he replied, “things that I can’t figure out why you would take.”

Y/N exhaled loudly, "Tell him, Dean," her voice flat as she stood up, pulling her hand from his. She walked up the three steps into the house, closing the wooden door quietly behind her.

“Tell me what?” he asked harshly, knowing he would not like the answer.

Dean stood up and began to make his way to the boathouse. “Come on,” he waved, his voice solemn, “I’ll just show you.”

Sam followed his brother into the boathouse, at the sight of the metal coffin, anger and sadness hit him full force. Dean tried to explain the plan to his baby brother, however the more he went into detail, the more infuriated Sam became, frustrated with his brother's willingness to self-sacrifice. .

“So, that’s it, then?” he questioned, “are we even going to talk about it?”

“Why?’ his older brother answered, “It doesn’t change anything.”

“Dean,” Sam appealed, “we know we could die, it’s part of the job, but what you're doing? It’s worse than death. Michael is an archangel; he could keep you alive and buried with him forever.”

Dean lifted a shoulder, defeated. “It doesn't matter.”

“The hell it doesn’t!” Sam yelled. “You are just willing to walk away from all of us, from your family, who want to help you! Aren’t you even scared?”

 “I didn’t say I wasn’t scared,” he sighed, running his hands over his hair, “but what’s the other option? Michael gets out and destroys everything because it’s all right there in Billie’s book, just like I told you.”

“That's only if we can’t find another way, Dean, there has to be another way.”

“And what is that way, Sam?” Dean asked, resigned, “Tell me.”

Sam threw up his hands, searching for words to fight his case.

“Exactly,” he pointed his finger at his younger brother, “which is why it’s going to be my way. Look, Sammy, you are either with me on this or not. If you aren’t with me, you gotta tell me now; I need to know if you are going to see this thing through to the end.”

“I don’t like it, Dean, there has to be another way, but you will not do this alone. I give you my word.”

“I just don’t need you to get shaky on this or you and Y/N to come up with some plan that isn’t going to work. It has to be my way.”

“What about Cas and Jack or Mom?” Sam questioned, “You haven’t said anything to them; why?” 

“I know,” Dean huffed, running his hand along the back of his neck. “I’m just not good at the big goodbye thing; I can’t second guess myself now.”

“Well, Dean,” Sam shook his head, disappointed, “that wouldn’t be the worst idea.”

“You know what Michael wants; you know this is the only way to stop him, so either get on board or let me know now because I’m not going to drag this out.”

Sam looked at his older brother in the eye. “I said I am there until the end, and I mean it, I don’t agree with it, and I think there is another way, but I have your back Dean, always.”

“There is a trailer outback; I’m going to hook it up to Baby, then I need your help loading this box on it. Can you do that?”

“Of course,” Sam nodded once, “What about Tink?”

“I don’t know if she is going to come back out of the house.” He rubbed his stubble in thought.

“So, that’s it?” Sam questioned angrily, “You are just going to leave her there, after all of this?”

“No, Sam,” he met his brother's eyes, matching his anger, “I’m going to go in there and do the thing I never wanted to do, I’m going to tell her goodbye.” He choked on the last word, “So, I need you to do me a favor, Sammy.”

“I know what you are going to ask me,” he stated.

“Well, I’m asking anyway, watch out for her, would you? Check-in just to make sure she is alright.”

“Uh-huh.” Sam looked at  Dean, his lips in a firm line, “I will, but I’m telling you she isn’t going to be fine, none of us are.”

Dean hooked up the trailer behind Baby, and he and Sam loaded the Ma’lak box, securing it to the trailer. Sam went to gather all of the tools from the boathouse as Dean walked into the cabin. As he entered the front door, it was eerily quiet, Y/N nowhere to be found; he stuck his head into every room checking for her. Dean knew in his gut she was in the bedroom they shared, his stomach sinking just a little bit more with every step to his destination. Stopping in front of the door, he saw her lying on the bed, under the covers with her back to him, staring out the glass wall.

“Babe,” he said softly, she didn’t move, she didn’t acknowledge him, he knew she wasn’t sleeping as he watched her breath. Tiptoeing into the room, he sat on the bed, placing his large hand on her back to comfort her. Instead, she flinched under his touch, which was an arrow to his soul. Standing up, he walked to the other side of the bed, crouching down in her eyesight, he tried to catch her eye, but she wouldn’t look at him, instead just closed her eyes, silent.

“Y/N,” he whispered, “I have to go.” He watched her face as he said the words, tears leaking from her closed lids soundlessly. Brushing her hair back from her face, he leaned and pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m sorry.”

She nodded her head once against the pillow, acknowledging his words, squeezing her eyes tighter, afraid to speak for fear she would fall apart.

“Please look at me,” he pleaded, his hand resting on the side of her head, his thumb brushing against her brow. She squeezed her eyes tight and then opened them, her tears glistening off her lashes. Dean wished he hadn’t have asked her, he saw all of the pain she felt  in her expressive eyes, which made him physically feel the grief he was causing. Her heartache was going to be what he remembered when he was locked in that box, haunting him for eternity. Dean didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to close himself in that damned coffin. Yet, he didn’t have a choice. Between Y/N and Sam, he was starting to waver. Her watery eyes blinking at him, he smiled sadly. Leaning down, he brushed a soft kiss across her mouth and heard her choke back a sob. Speaking against her lips, he whispered, “I love you, Y/N. You’ll forever be in my heart..”

Standing up, unshed tears in his own eyes, Dean pulled the blanket up, tucking it underneath her chin. Shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, he walked to the bedroom door.

“Dean,” she choked out.

He paused, turning around, she was still facing the window, on a shuttered breath, she spoke, “I will always love you.”

With that, he turned on his heel, the tears finally falling as he made his way to the car and his brother, away from the only woman he truly loved with every ounce of his being.

Dean’s POV

The next three weeks were a whirlwind. Sam talked him into taking one more job before they dropped him in the ocean. Dean knew he was stalling for the inevitable, but what was one more job? Dead bodies with symbols carved in them? Enochian marks, it was right up their alley. They were prophets or more specific damaged prophets because Donatello was in a coma thanks to Castiel, not exactly dead but not alive. They were able to bring Donnie back, again thanks to Cas, he still didn’t have a soul, but there were worse things at this point. 

Dean and Sam had fought. His little brother had sucker-punched him, trying to knock some sense into him, accusing him of throwing in the towel and quitting on not only him but Y/N. That they must mean nothing to him after everything that had done together, Sam believes in them, so why doesn’t Dean? 

The elder Winchester then made the decision to put the Ma’lak box on the back burner, just for the moment. It was still the only option he could see, but if Sam needed to see this through, he was going to give that to him, how could he not? The younger Winchester  was right; after all, they had been through a lot together, how could Dean just quit? He believed in them, in all of them and Hell, Billie might be wrong after all, but one thing he knew for sure is that he could count on his family. Dean made Sam and Cas promise him that if it comes to an end and they have run out of options, they would do what they couldn’t do now, and that was let him go. They had to promise to put him in the box and drop him in the ocean's bottom. 

Once the promises were made, they headed back to the bunker, Dean's phone burning in his pocket; he just wanted to hear her voice. Still, until they came to a resolution with Michael, he could not call her; this painful back and forth was never what she agreed to. At this point, she may never forgive him, so he needed to hold tight to see if they could find a solution before he reached out to her again.

A few days after they got back to the bunker, they got some information on a guy who owned a pawn shop who had robbed and killed Bart Kemp, a friend of theirs who was murdered and his place emptied. In the boxes of occult items recovered, he discovered a Baozhu pearl, only one of eight in existence; it was supposed to give you what your heart desires. Dean knew he wanted to throw Michael out on his ass, no more riding shotgun in his head. The brothers knew they were running out of options; this might be their last hope.

When they got home, they decided to try it; if it didn’t work, there was no reason to share it with the rest of the family. Placing the pearl in his hand, he concentrated on Michael leaving; he knew it must be working because the lights went out, and that is when all hell broke loose, in the very best and very worst way possible. In the dark, someone hit them both with the butt end of a shotgun; as the lights came back on, standing in front of them was the one person the brothers ever thought they would see again, their father, John Winchester.

It took them all a few minutes to wrap their head around what they saw as John struggled with the fact that they were so much older than when he was pulled 16 years into the future. Sitting at the kitchen table, they tried to fill their father in on all of the things that happened since he traded his life and the colt for Dean’s life so many years ago. Although in shock and a little awe, John agreed it was all worth it to avenge Mary’s death, but that was the news that would knock John on his ass as he heard Mary’s voice calling to their boys as she entered the bunker.  

Seeing his parents see each other for the first time in decades was bittersweet for Dean, that his heart desired to have his family together. Just one person was missing because he didn’t have it in him to call her and disappoint her one more time. He and Sam figured out quickly that bringing their Dad into the future had changed the whole trajectory of history. Sam was a kale eating attorney who gave Ted Talks; Dean was still a hunter wanted by every agency under the sun. They knew the only way to fix this was to send John back to 2003. That is the Winchester way, doing the right thing no matter what the personal cost. They were able to have one meal together before they sent their Dad back, the one meal that they would always remember, although John would recall it as a dream. Mary told John about Y/N during the dinner, although she had yet to meet her, she and Dean had been together almost a year and a half, and Mary saw the joy she brought to her eldest son and wanted her husband to know it too. John pulled Dean to the side before they had to say goodbye for the final time.

“Dean,” his father began, “I never meant for this, for you to live this life, this was my fight never yours, it was my fight with yellow eyes, now look at you, you are a grown man, and I am incredibly proud of you,” he sighed. “You know son, I guess I hoped eventually you would find a life, a normal life, a peaceful one, settle down and start a family of your own.”

“You know, Dad,” Dean smiled sadly, “I have a family.”

John matched his sad smile with one of his own, “I know you do, with Sammy, Jack, and Cas, and it’s a good family.” Reaching out he and grasped his shoulder, “but Dean, you have a chance to have what your Mom and I had, not with all the tragedy that comes with it, but a real-life that you can call your own, with a woman that loves you,” John chuckled, "despite your faults. Your Mom said she is something special.”

“She is Dad; she really is,” Dean choked.

“Well then,” he smiled, “when all this gets figured out with Michael, and don’t you kid yourselves, you two boys will figure it out. You need to go to Y/N and tell her Dean, tell her that the world does not spin without her, because if you don’t, and you try to live this life without her? You will die, maybe not on the outside,” he patted his chest over his heart, “but in here. Trust me, son, I’m telling you this because I lived it. Go to your girl, Dean. You will have a life better than you could ever dream of.”

“Thanks, Dad” Dean's mouth quirked up at the side, tears shining in his eyes, “that means more to me than you will ever understand.”

“I know I didn’t always show it-” John rasped, “because I was too wrapped up in my own revenge, but Dean, I wanted the best for you and Sam always. Now you two have a chance to live your best life, do it, both of you.” He pulled Dean to him and hugged him tightly, “go and live the only life your Mom and I ever wanted for you. I love you, son.”

“You to Dad,” he choked. “I love you too.”

Inhaling deeply, John sniffed as he stepped back, shoving his hands in his pockets, "well, I guess we need to get to it then.”

“Yeah,” Dean croaked, hanging his head.

Standing in the library, John hugged his sons, reminding them again how proud he is of both of them and also reminding Dean that he should listen to his old man’s advice. He held Mary’s hand as Sam crushed the Baozhu pearl under a pottery bowl, watching with heavy hearts as John disappeared.

As Dean lay in his bunk that night, he flipped through the pictures of Y/N on his phone. The smile on her face warmed him through the photograph as his father's words repeated through his mind. There was one thing that troubled him. What if this was the time that she could not forgive him? What if this was the thing that destroyed everything they had built together? What if once again he sabotaged his own life for everyone else. If they could figure this Michael situation out, he would call her, no, he would get in Baby and find her because she deserved nothing less and just hoped to God or whoever was listening that she would give him one more chance.

In the next few days, Sam was busy searching through more books to find answers until they got a lead on a demigod who was killing humans and consuming their bodies. Even with Rowena’s help, the gorgon was always one step ahead of him until he left a note for Dean after killing a truck driver, realizing that they couldn’t see Cas. The pounding in his head was getting worse, and Dean was sure if they didn’t find something soon, he would find himself at the bottom of the pacific. Dean just hoped that he didn’t have to fight Cas and his brother on this because he just wasn’t sure he had it in him. He wasn’t sleeping much, so instead, he spent that time dwelling on how different things would be had he made other choices. 

He talked to Jody; she and Donna had driven to see Y/N at the cabin. She didn't say too much except that Y/N was surviving. That turned Dean’s world upside down, yet he was helpless at this point to do anything but move forward or take the plunge. Either option did not look appealing to him. 

Rowena put on a tracking spell on the demigod and sent Castiel and Jack in first because the Gorgon couldn’t see them; as the fight ensued, Sam and Dean joined in when things went sideways. He was stronger than he looked and got the drop on Dean, smashing his head multiple times against the wall's corner, leaving him unconscious. Jack was able to behead the demigod before his escape and used his powers to save Cas because Rowena's anti-venom did not work on angels. 

They made their way back to the bunker from New Mexico, Dean never regaining consciousness. When he finally woke up, he was in a rage, destroying a part of the infirmary. He told them this would happen, and now there would be hell to pay; Michael was gone, broke down the door that Dean had him locked behind in his mind, and now he was gone, now the world would burn. Hearing screams from the war room, they ran to find Michael jumped inside Rowena. He didn’t give her a choice; she wasn’t Dean, but she was strong and a close second, Now Michael was going to take over this world just like he had planned when he came through the rift all those months ago, except this time there was no one to stop him. Or so he thought.

Michael was enjoying causing Dean, Sam, and Cas pain; Jack was unaffected, but that was just a small distraction. Suffocating them, blinding them, causing them pain was just a little game until they suffered a bit before ending them all. Jack had had enough, to hell with his soul burning up; he would kill Michael or die trying. Michael thought he would stop him? He was the son of Lucifer, a hunter, a Winchester! With that, Jack placed his hands on either side of Rowena's head, driving Michael out. As Michael's essence swirled around the ceiling, Jack burned up his remaining soul by torching Michael and ingesting his grace. Michael was dead. It was over, and no one else had to die by Michael’s hand; Dean was free.

The older Winchester’s first thought was Y/N. Michael was dead, sure they had to think about dealing with Jack without a soul, but it couldn’t be that hard, right? He had to get to her to fix this. Dean needed sleep, and he was also worried about how Sam was coping, but they could hold off for a few days, right? He had 10 hours to figure out how to make it up to her as he headed to Castle Rock Lake. He wanted to make her see that Michael was gone and that he was sorry that he had put her through everything, but he was back, entirely himself and would never put her through it again. 

By the time he got to the lake, it was early morning, the excitement and trepidation making him almost jittery. As he cleared the trees to the cabin, he looked up to see the door to the cabin slam closed; his heart sunk a little as that was not a good sign. He was tired from the drive, hell he was exhausted from the last three weeks, but his Dad was right, he needed her.

Climbing from the car, he strode up the walkway and climbed the steps stopping in front of the door. He knew his girl well enough that he would bet every dime in his pocket that she was standing just inside with her back pressed up against the door. Laying his palm against the wood, he called to her.

“Babe.”

“No, Dean,” came her muffled reply.

“Come on, Babe, come out here and talk to me,” he tried to reason.

“I can’t do this again.” He could hear her crying. It hurt because he knew it was all because of him, but he was trying to fix it...if she would just let him.

“Y/N, just open the door.” 

“No, go away, Dean, I mean it go away.”

Stepping to the door, he leaned his forehead against the heavy wood with a sigh, “I’m not leaving; I will just stand here until you open up.”

“No, you won’t!” she yelled, he could hear the panic in her voice; she knew him, if he said he was going to do something, it would happen. “I will call the cops!” she threatened.

“Really?” he stifled a chuckle. “You are going to call the cops on me?”

There was a moment of silence before she huffed out a “No.” 

“Babe, open the door,” he pleaded.

“I’m not opening the door; you just need to go. Seriously, I can't do this anymore, Dean. I don’t want to be just one more of your responsibilities. I just need to figure out how to-” her voice cut off on a sob.

“I just want to see you, so you can tell me to my face that you never want to see me again.”

“Why?” she yelled, banging her fist on the door. “Can’t you just listen and do what I ask?”

“It’s simple,” he almost smiled; he knew that the longer it took her to open the door, the better chance he had of fixing what he had broken. “You open the door and look me in the eye and tell me you're done.”

“You are an asshole!” she screamed as she banged on the door.

“That may be sweetheart,” he chuckled, “ but I’m not stepping foot off this porch until you look me in the eye.”

“Well,” she laughed sarcastically, “You will be out there a long time.”

“Ah, well,” Dean smiled as he turned around and sat down, bracing his back on the door, “you know how stubborn I can be, I’ve got all the time in the world.”

Chapter 14

Tags: @winchest09​ @katehuntington​ @whatareyousearchingfordean​ @emoryhemsworth​ @flamencodiva​ @superfanficnatural​ @deanwanddamons​ @janicho88​ @talesmaniac89​ @anathewierdo​ @compresshischest09​ @supernatural-bellawinchester​ @jensengirl83​ @this-is-what-im-reduced-to​ @ellewritesfix05​ @moron225​ @foxyjwls007​ @hobby27​ @unicornqu33n17​ @swinchester27​@4fareader @deans-baby-momma​ @squirrelnotsam​ @clumsy-nerd104​ @sarahbaker2010​ @supernatural-love14​ @akshi8278​ @lyarr24​ @angelhearts1012​ @nothinbuttrouble2​ @cookiechipdough​ @lady-pswrld​ @peachyafshawn​ @notan-applepielife​ @linki-locks11​ @atc74​ @divadinag​ @dvnmbabe​ @michellethetvaddict​ @stoneyggirl​ @fernandaburdasova @smol-and-grumpy​ @440mxs-wife​ @abuavnee​ @krazykelly @malfoysqueen14​

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x you #dean x reader #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester #dean winchester x y/n #reader insert #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester smut #slow burn #dean winchester series #a man of letters #waywardbeanie

[oversimplify-it]

Story Process Tag by @herpixels​

I was tagged by @dynastiasimss​ - Thank you so much for tagging me!! 😊💖💗 This will most definitely get a bit wordy because I’m terrible at explaining things concisely! 😂 Also, I’ll mostly be talking about my process for 2.B.A Grandmaster but I’ll touch on my process for Erin in San Myshuno too!

I’m also going to get tags out of the way up here so that no one has to scroll all the way through this ... absolute novel that is under the cut LMAO so I tag: @cyansimblr  @x-simss @matchacake and any other simblrs who wanna do this!! and feel free to skip if you want!

1. Your writing process My writing process is very, very chaotic, and changes with the wind... Erin in San Myshuno doesn’t really have a process, I just play the game and then put in some dialogue based on the events. None of it is guided by my hand at all though! 2.B.A Grandmaster on the other hand is written in part based on what happens in game and in part by my own creative vision. Most of the time, I let stuff happen, and then fill in the blanks in between events. I go in game, play Sims as I normally would (skill build, take care of needs, go out to venues, etc.) and then watch what weird and interesting things happen. For example, Augusta’s meeting with Xavier in the beginning was completely the game’s doing! He was the only one to show up for the Welcome Wagon event, so I rolled with that. Scenes like Kaitlin’s meeting with Maverick and those sort of things are planned by me, as they’re necessary to create a more full narrative! It’s like collaborative storytelling, but my “partner” is a game that is weird and random and crazy. 😂 After stuff happens in game and I get screenshots, I then actually write for it. I chose to write novel style for the series because - as some of my long-term followers may remember - I had another story that was just screenshots with dialogue on them? And it was very hard, LOL, it didn’t suit my workflow very well and I ended up dropping it after a month or so. I wanted 2.B.A Grandmaster to be something I could post consistently, and so I opted for a style that I was more familiar and experienced with!

2. Scene building For the most part, I just work with what sims gives me, but as I mentioned above, some scenes I actually go to the trouble of setting up. For those, I still use the sims animations mostly (I’ve used poses about 3 times in 2.B.A Grandmaster so far) but I do usher my sims around the "set” as I see fit. I build a lot of my own lots and locations for 2.B.A GM because I tend to get a vision in my mind of what I want and refuse to settle for less. 😂 One such case is the scene where Maverick meets up with Octavia--

I made the alleyway we see here - it’s two entirely empty buildings sandwiched side by side on an otherwise empty lot in Oasis Springs. The only part I bothered to decorate was the alley itself because I knew I wasn’t going to use the rest of the area, but maybe we’ll revisit it sometime and I’ll finish the two buildings! I actually loved making this set and like how it turned out, LOL~

Then I just have whatever sims are involved in a scene interact with each other for ages until I feel like I have enough screenshots to make a scene. I usually have a vague idea of what’s going to be said in any given scene - especially the ones I actually planned out beforehand - but I get some excess screenshots to be safe. I try lots of different interactions and pause like every few frames to get interesting expressions and stuff, LOL. Lots of “Complain about Cold Weather” and “Give fake bad news” ...

3. CC/Pose making I don’t actually make my own CC for 2.B.A GM specifically (I’ve made a couple eyeshadows but I don’t use them super frequently) but there is a scene coming up in the future that I plan to make poses for. I have a very clear image in my mind that includes a lot of subtle expressions and very specific things that I doubt I could find poses for, so I’m gonna have to brave the terrifying landscape of blender in order to make it a reality. 😧

4. Getting in the zone I don’t have any sort of “ok, show time” ritual like some people do but I wish I did, because my motivation waxes and wanes so unpredictably. Some days I just don’t feel like doing anything, and other days I edit and write for 5 posts in a row! I am always listening to something though, usually music, every once in a blue moon a video with lots of talking. 5. Screenshot folder

UGH... 

6. Captions I don’t do captions on 2.B.A GM posts, but for my city living gameplay I do! I keep them simple, because I don’t want to make it too much work for myself. Erin in San Myshuno’s style of editing is 100% based around ease, because I wanted something to post often that didn’t put too much of a strain on me. Verdana in white, typically 35-40 px, with a gradient border. Each sim we encounter has a different gradient color, usually based on their outfit or just the ~vibe~ I get from them. Erin’s gradient is Hot pink to ... gee, what would you call it. Sonic the Hedgehog Blue LMAO-- I chose that gradient because that’s the color of the overlay, which I’ll talk more about in the next section!

7. Editing My two ‘series’ - and I use that term loosely LMAO - have different editing processes, so I’ll try to summarize them both. Basically, for 2.B.A Grandmaster, I touch up the saturation and brightness depending on the scene. If it’s evening in the shots, I usually won’t touch brightness, and if it’s night, I might even lower it a bit for more accurate lighting! Once that’s done, I blur everything but relevant elements of a scene, usually the character we’re following or who is speaking. I have to select the character from the background manually which takes a bit, but other than that it’s very minimal.

My shots aren’t super glamorous, but I prefer simple screenshots and actually being able to keep up with a story schedule as opposed to what happened with my last story. 😬 As for Erin in San Myshuno, barring captions which I only do when I feel it’s necessary, it’s literally just an overlay on otherwise untouched screenshots. 😭 I would do more, but again, it’s supposed to be an easy downtime sort of series for me so~

This goes over top all screenshots on the “Add” setting at 20% opacity. It brightens things up and softens them, as well as making the colors slightly more harmonious! If anyone wants me to go more in depth on editing, or maybe captions, please let me know! I’m happy to talk about it if it’ll help anyone, and I know that a lot of tutorials cover how to do stuff in Photoshop, whereas I use FireAlpaca (which is 100% free btw! It’s more of an art program, but not bad for editing) 8. Throwback!

Oh boy, so this is one of my first posts on simblr. For starters, I didn’t know about camera mode at the time, so that’s the first thing I would change obviously LOL. 😬 The framing I did at the time was ... cute, but it makes the pictures feel kind of cramped and small in my opinion, so I did away with that for all of my later stories. Also, Amy and Gemma aren’t very well centered in this picture! Other than that, this isn’t actually terrible I don’t think, so aside from maybe blurring the background as I do on 2.B.A GM now, I wouldn’t change too much! Thankfully, I had observed other people’s stories before making my own on here for a little bit, so I wasn’t starting with absolutely no idea what to do, but I still think I’ve improved since I made these. 😊

This was a ton of fun!! If anyone has questions or wants more info on anything I covered in here, absolutely feel free to ask, and thank you so much if you actually read through all of this - I know I rambled for quite a while!! 🙏

#tag #extras: 2.B.A Grandmaster

[silvia7272]

8 ~ The Blog-Off

I thought it would be time to meet some of the secondary characters I haven’t introduced yet. Also, I think this might be the third to last one before Piper is introduced to the gang? Maybe, just soon, I hope. And I think it’ll feel like a massive info dump but oh well, I wanted more people than just the class.

Also, I want to give these characters some actual personality traits, hope you like them.

Since I’ve made it that Timetagger isn’t canon in my storyline then I’ll have to add that Alix’s watch is just a unique watch and not a Miraculous since she’s a part of the class salt. Hopefully, that makes sense. Also, the episode Feast hasn’t happened either.

Word Count: 5698

Tags: @queenmj10, @fangirl39, @animegirlweeb, @northernbluetongue, @maribat-is-lifeblood, @raisuke06, @indecisive-mess-named-me​ @luleck​, @themotherofhogwarts​, if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged.

.

Ok, so I just checked on the fanon website information for Miraculous Ladybug and it says Juleka and Alix are 15, how? And why couldn’t they just make it simple so they’re all 13 at the start? I really don’t get it, could someone explain it to me, it just seems so odd to only have 2 people at different ages, (Just saw that Kagami is 15 as well)? For now, they first became heroes at 13, Adrien 14 because his birthday was in the bubbler. Including those 3 cause it makes more sense, because if Juleka really is 15 it's said that Luka is 2 years older than her so that means he’s 17 and that makes me extremely iffy about him liking a 13-year-old Marinette. Yikes, I like Luka leave him alone damn it.

So, the second year of Miraculous Ladybug, they’re all 14-15.

***

It was a particularly sunny day at Collège Françoise Dupont. There hadn’t been any Akuma’s for a while. Leaving everyone a chance to relax.

Well, most could relax.

“Aurore I’m sure its fine, you don’t need to stress so much” Her friend Mireille tried to calm her friend down to no avail. She was still staring at her phone.

“Y-Yeah cheer up. It's only been a day. Maybe people just haven’t l-looked under that tag yet?” But that response only made the blonde glare.

“How could they not. Its an actual Akuma battle I was able to get hold of and nothing? Unbelievable!” The video itself was of the Akuma SleepSis, Aurore was able to get some footage, shaky, but she was able to upload that battle.

Unluckily for her, it seemed that no one was interested but a few people. She couldn’t understand, it had Ladybug and Chat Noir as well as that new hero everyone wanted to know. But because she was new no one paid any attention to it.

“Hey, it's only the first video. Maybe if you make more people will see you.” Mireille suggested, she didn’t want to see her friend upset, they had started to become closer after their rocky start and she didn’t want her to be Akumatized because of this.

“It's so not fair, my video is the latest Akuma fight and nothing has come of it, meanwhile little miss blogger gets all the attention and she hardly does any posts about Akuma’s anymore, it's all about this Lila girl, who by the way is completely fake. Nothing on Akuma’s, more about Ladybug’s love life, why should we give a damn about that-” And here we had a completely wild Aurore, she was ranting while her friends were trying to calm her down. Marc already knew Lila was lying when Marinette told him after… Certain events happened. And Mireille was a good friend, believing Marc and Aurore right away, they had come at separate times and besides, after hearing the girl, all Mireille could see was fakery everywhere.

“Excuse me? Can we sit here?” A voice spoke, breaking the three out of their conversation.

“Huh? Marinette! How are you?” Aurore stood to hug the bluenette who was overjoyed with the fact they saw each other again. Their class schedules were so spread out, this had been the first time, before Rosina joined in fact, that she could see them.

And boy did they change.

“Err Marinette I don’t want to tell you this but Chloé is behind you, extremely close behind you” She pointed to the blonde who didn’t seem amused at all.

“Geez blondie, don’t talk about someone who’s in-ear reach!”

“Well maybe if you weren’t so close to us you wouldn’t hear!” They glared at each other so hard you could see the literal spark in their eyes.

This was going to be a long day.

***

“Sooo you two are friends now?” Mireille concluded after hearing this whole story.

“I find that extremely hard to believe” Aurore spoke, her eyes still not breaking away from Chloé.

“Well, no one's forcing you!” She retaliated.

“Eheh… So where is this miracle worker?” Marc but in, he found it better that Chloé was trying to mend her old ways, and try to redeem herself. It seemed to be working at least, she wasn’t insulting everyone at the table, only Aurore.

“She said she was coming later, she wanted to go explore something” Marinette explained, oblivious of Chloé’s horrified expression.

“And you let her!? You know she needs to be kept in check, what if she’s halfway across Paris by no-” Arms appeared around the girl's shoulders.

“Mari! Chlo! Hiya” It said.

“Ahhh! Don’t scare me like that!” Chloé hit her head, she was too surprised to realise who it was, but she wasn’t sorry, no one should scare someone and expect nothing to happen to them.

“Hey, no fair, it was only as they say a jest” Marinette held an embarrassed smile. Taking Rosina’s arm as they sat down at the table.

“Anyway Rosina, these are the friends I was talking about. Aurore, Mireille and Marc” She pointed to them as Rosina excitedly waved.

“H-Hi-” Marc couldn’t finish that sentence.

“Wow, I love your pigtails they look so cool. Aww, you look so cute in that outfit, like a cute little panda. Wow, I love your t-shirt I so want one for myself.” They all seemed confused. Why was this girl flattering them?

“Don’t worry she does that to everyone,” Marinette clarified.

“Yep, I read if you want to make a good impression you must compliment to provide a friendship with them, now that we’re friends what should we do?” She smiled an enormously large smile, she looked cute and happy, like they could feel the positivity radiating of the girl.

“You’ll get used to this as well, she’s always this happy.”

It was silent after that. No one really seemed to talk, because there was still a big elephant in the room. And it was all pointing to a specific blonde.

“Ugh fine I get it. I’ll go and leave you all in peace” Chloé got up and started to walk away. But two hands pulled her back.

“Wait Chloé it's fine. You seem like you’re really trying so I’ll give you a second chance.” Mireille said.

“Mmhmm, yeah Chloé you’re getting so much better, she even got me a phone” She held it up, her charm still intact, she wanted to take good care of it.

“Wow really?” Marc was surprised, Chloé actually gave someone a present? Was she an imposter? No, it didn’t seem like an Akuma.

“Yeah wanna see?” The redhead excitedly showed off her first-ever phone to the boy. Even explaining things Marc knew but didn’t have the heart to tell her.

“Mhmm buying your way into friendship now?” Aurore so wasn’t convinced at all; sure, people could change but she wasn’t about to forgive Chloé after all the years of her bullying her.

“For your information, Rosina was in need of a phone because she’s never had one. So, it was a gift” She retorted, arms crossed as Marinette put her hand to her forehead. Her and Mireille had given up trying to hold them back, it was obvious they weren’t going to like each other, it might take more time for them to get along.

“As if I’ll fall for that trick. I’ll see you crack under the pressure real soon Chloé Bourgeois.” She huffed as her head turned, refusing to look at her anymore.

“Whatever Aurore Beauréal” The other four were paying attention to Rosina as she was showing all her new apps.

“Err, R-Rosina I can’t understand any of it, what language is it in?” It wasn’t in French that was for sure.

“See see, since I’m still getting used to the French, so I’ve put it in Arabic since it's easier, that way whenever I text my friends they won’t get confused if I get anything wrong.” She gleamed as she put it back in her bag.

“It's fine Rosy, we can help you just tell us ok?”

They continued to talk as they had 1 hour of a free period left. And a previous topic came back to relevance.

“So, you’re a blogger as well?” Rosina was told what a blogger was after Alya overheard her uncertainty. She was dragged off by the girl as she explained. She showed all of her videos to her. Rosina was amazed by the fact one could capture motion and replay it. She had heard about a blog before but had yet to see it. Chloé and Marinette were able to steal her away after causing a distraction.

“A beginner, I was kinda inspired by Alya’s, but it slowly derailed into fake news, so I wanted to make one myself, for Ladybug. She’s been amazing for us and she deserves to be respected. Not pry about her love life or identity” Marinette was beaming on the inside, finally, someone wanting facts and information, plus she knew Lila was bs anyway. She couldn’t be more relieved.

“But… No one seems to want to watch it” Her confidence wavered, Marinette felt dejected, how could she help her she wondered?

“Can we see it? I wanna see what it's about” Aurore beamed with joy, she happily showed her, watching for any change in the girl's faces.

But before the redhead could state her opinions, the blonde beat her to it.

“There's nothing special about it”

“What! H-” She held up her hand, she so wasn’t done.

“It looks like a video that Césaire girl could do, hell I could do that with my eyes closed. There isn’t anything special here” Aurore had enough, how dare she walk in here and disrespect her like this. The pigtailed girl was so close to being done.

“Chloé’s right”

“Rosina you can’t just say it like that!” Marinette was concerned, please don’t make her have to face off Stormy Weather again!

“No wait- I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry Aurore, I just think you can change it, that’s all” She frantically waved her hands around as Aurore blinked.

“Huh?”

“I just mean, Chloé is right that it does look like Alya’s, so maybe you can make different err- what's the word… Content yeah that. Make different content, like an analysis of Akuma, and their powers and weapons.” Marinette shot up, ideas filling her mind.

“Maybe you could interview the heroes about questions regarding Akuma’s? I know people would feel better having their queries answered.” Mireille then joined in.

“You could include tips on how to stay safe during an Akuma attack? That could be useful.”

“I-If you want a script to use, I could help with that?” Marc piped up.

“And since I’m feeling generous, I guess I could lend you some space to use for your videos. Anywhere else would be barbaric” Aurore would’ve glared at her, but she couldn’t make herself do that. They were all encouraging her to continue, to make it unique, to make it her own.

She smiled.

“Thanks, you guys. I’ll be sure to remember this. And you too Chloé” Said blonde smirked.

“What? Sorry I didn’t hear that” She became irritated.

“Chloé please stop teasing her, that’s not a very nice thing to do” Rosina grabbed onto her arm, trying to stop the inevitable argument.

“Ugh fine, it wasn’t any fun anyway” Now they felt shocked. Chloé willingly giving up her teasing? That was unheard of- maybe Rosina really was a good influence after all.

***

[This is great, love the special guests]

[Thanks so much for the advice!]

[Thank you, sweetie, I’m sharing this with everyone xxx]

Hundreds of comments like these appeared within minutes of her second video. Amazingly Ladybug had somehow heard of what Aurore wanted to do and brought Crisono along for the ride as well. Because it was a quiet night, they were able to gain so much information, and Aurore was able to stop fangirling and have a proper conversation with them. They got so many recordings done in a single night Aurore was able to go to sleep feeling peaceful.

Her second video consisted of self-defence demonstrated by Ladybug, it held a serious yet comedic approach as Ladybug demonstrated what would happen if someone, Akuma or not, attacked you using Crisono. Ladybug playing the hero while Crisono played the villain, and what a funny villain she was. It was a huge hit and the viewers wanted more, wanted to know more about Crisono.

Luckily her third video would consist of who exactly Crisono Tassa was? They knew she didn’t hold a Miraculous, so the mysteries surrounding her were endless.

She was so happy by the boost she couldn’t help her locking onto Rosina the minute she spotted her at school.

“Thank you thank you thank you! They love it, and Ladybug and Crisono came to help me. Rosina, you’re the best” Rosina could only pat the girl on her back as her limbs were constricted from moving.

“I didn’t do anything really. But I’m so glad you’re happy Aurore, I mean I know my acting wasn’t the best bu-”

“What?” Mireille asked, what acting was she talking about?

“In the v-” Marinette clamped a hand over the redhead's mouth.

“Well I think I heard the bell go, and you know how Mlle Bustier can be with tardiness so byeeee!” Once they were out of earshot of the three new friends Rosina had made Marinette gave a glare to Rosina.

“You can’t keep doing that?” Rosina tilted her head.

“Doing what?”

“Revealing your identity to people Rosina. It was fine with Marinette because she’s Ladybug, and there were circumstances with Chloé but you can’t do it with other people it can be really dangerous” Tikki came out lightly reprimand the girl, Tikki had long ago deemed Rosina safe to be around as well as hold a secret, and came to care for the girl just like Marinette, she only wanted to protect her.

“But it's fine, it doesn’t matter if people know it's me” She tried to reason. But the bluenette shook her head.

“Yes, it does Rosina. Your friends and family could get hurt if Hawkmoth ever finds out your identity. Please Rosy. Don’t reveal yourself to anyone else”

“But Mari, I only have you, Chloé, Kagami, Adrian, Chat, Aurore, Mireille and Marc as my friends” Marinette would’ve winced at the mention of the blonds but now wasn’t the time.

“Yes but-”

“Plus, I have no family, so he can’t use them to get to me”

.

.

.

“W-What?”

“I don’t have a family, I only have 8 people to protect, so that’s why I’ll strive to protect all of my friends.”

“B-But what about-”

Riiiiiiiiiiing

“Well class should be starting soon, c’mon Mari, we don’t want to be late ok” Before the bluenette could answer she was already being dragged off, she couldn’t stop her as the words went around in her head.

I don’t have a family

‘How can she say that so casually? And what about Franchezca, what about her?’

These questions whirled around the girl’s head so much she couldn’t pay that much attention to the lesson. Not like Bustier called on her. She was glad for that.

Maybe she could ask later?

***

“Rosina?”

“Yep,” A voice spoke, popping the ‘P’. They were walking around the city; they were meant to be meeting everyone as they had planned to all hang out later but Marinette was able to convince Rosina to go earlier. And Marinette felt it was a good enough time to ask Rosina what she meant beforehand.

“You said you don’t have any family to protect. But you also call Mlle Franchezca Aunt? So, if it’s not too much trouble, could you explain?” She stopped walking.

“I mean you only want- I mean, only if you want to. I don’t want to force you or anything��� She really hoped she hadn’t offended her.

“Its fine Marinette, I just don’t know where to begin”

She placed her hand under her chin, looking to reminisce on something.

“Let’s see, how did Aunty say it again?”

~

In the middle of a desert, an older woman with a cane walked.

She was searching for that damn forth Trinklet and it was nowhere. But she needed to find it fast, if not then it would crack.

And she really didn’t want to spend any more time in this stupid desert than she had to.

But then she saw a glow.

‘Perfect’ She thought, making her way towards it, believing that would be the end of it.

But it was only the beginning.

As she came closer to the glow, she saw a bundle of blankets next to it. She was surprised about that discovery.

But that was nothing, because then she heard a cry.

“What the-?”

She rushed to the blanket, if it was what she thought it was then she had to move quickly.

And like she was able to predict… It was.

A baby.

“Who would leave a kid all the way out here?” Franchezca decided that she would try and find out who the baby belonged to. Of course, she wasn’t going to get attached to her.

No, of course not.

That would be absurd.

~

“She always blamed my smile was the reason she couldn’t give me up” Rosina had finished her story as Marinette stood there.

“So, you really don’t have any other family members?”

“Nope, I don’t know anyone related to me. And Aunty always told me to call her Aunty cause she didn’t want to be called Grandma.” She laughed as she remembered the embarrassed look she gave when the Silver-eyed girl said Grandma once.

“You were just… Left alone?”

“Yeah, she told me this poncho was the only thing I had on me. That’s why I wear it everywhere. But it's alright. Aunty took care of me for all that time, and then I got the chance to train to fight all the Trinklets in the world. It's great” She raised her arms in the air to exclaim she wasn’t even sad.

Swish.

“I didn’t know you wanted a hug, Mari?”

‘She doesn’t seem bothered at all; I want to feel sorry for her but… Should I?’

“You do have family”

“Mari I-” She was about to repeat herself but Marinette jumped to cut her off.

“You have me and Maman and Papa. We’re your family. All of our friends are family and your Aunt. That’s why you can’t reveal yourself to anyone” Rosina paused. She wasn’t expecting… That.

“Really?” It was barely audible but Marinette heard it. And it was so sincere.

“Yeah, so please promise me you’ll stop doing that”

“…Ok. But if I can’t transform in time you can’t blame me if anyone sees” She cheekily replied her usual self-returning.

“Fine, but that’s only if, ok?” She shot back; Rosina nodded before they continued on their walk. Apparently, there was someone she wanted Rosina to meet. All she knew was that he didn’t attend Collège Françoise Dupont.

***

“Rosina, this is Luka. Luka this is Rosina.” They had arrived at *Pont des Arts the meeting place Marinette had organised earlier, all of her friends arriving later gave Rosina enough time to get along with the newcomer, everyone else knew him, it was only fair if Rosina got some time too.

“Pleased to mee-”

“Wow, your hair looks so cool, were you born with it or did you dye it? Wait, are you by any chance related to Juleka? Wow you look so cool” She repeated as he stood back just a bit, he had predicted her melody to be calm and slightly childish, now it had just changed dramatically… He needed a moment to adjust.

“Sorry Luka, I should’ve warned you she was hyper.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, it’s good to see you so happy, Rosina seems to have drowned out that melancholy you had” That caused Marinette to blush before she looked back at Rosina. They continued to have a small conversation, at least before everyone else arrived anyway, although it did surprise Marinette when Luka kept looking around and checking his watch, was he waiting for someone? Was he just biding time before leaving them? Was it going to be his girlfri-

“Hayo, Luka long time no see? It’s been like sooo long” A girl who looked like the same age as Luka approached the gang of 3. And she looked so pretty.

She had green hair that complimented her dark skin, her orange jacket looked of high quality and red trousers, was this who Luka was waiting for? Was this his gir-?

“Noémie, it’s been a while, I should have asked before, but I was wondering if my friend could hang out with us?” Marinette was slightly put off, ever since the Lila situation she’s been ever so slightly apprehensive of new people, but she guessed since she’s a friend of Luka’s she would soon be a friend of hers.

“-Gasps- Luka is this the Marinette ya keep talking and gushing about? Oh, my life. She is the cutest little thing ever. Selfie child” Before Marinette could respond she’d already taken a selfie.

“You look even cuter on camera, oh stop ya gonna kill me smols” Noémie’s hand was then grabbed by someone else, it wasn’t forceful at all, but she did lookup.

“Hiya Miss, I just wanted to say that I love your green hairstyle, it looks super cool on you”

.

.

.

‘Is that a tear-’

“Oh my god these two smols are so like adorable, I’m officially adopting you two, my precious little babies.” Marinette would soon learn she would never be able to finish another thought around the green-haired girl. Ever again.

And adopting?

“Eheh no thanks, I have a Mother and one is more than enough” She tried to get out of the hold but couldn’t.

“What’s adopting?”

“I’ll… Tell you later” Mari sighed, this seemed to become a long day.

“I was going to tell you that she can be a bit extreme, but she beat me to it.” Luka sent an apologetic smile towards the two, more to the bluenette since Rosina seemed to be enjoying the affection. It wasn’t like Noémie was doing anything harmful, but he knew she could be a bit… Overbearing at times.

“Selfie time”

“But you just took one?”

“Like girl, ya can never have too many selfies with smols like ya. All these photos can stay online forever. All these memories we can have and keep and look back on is like sooooooo cool. Now say cheese!” her monologue was filled with so much passion for selfies Marinette was able to giggle.

Ok, she liked her, she seemed really quirky.

Whether it was luck or not the others arrived not too long after, unluckily Noémie tried to use that same trick on Chloé because she was apparently a fan of the Mayor’s Daughter…

Yeah, that didn’t turn out well.

But she got over it when they both started taking selfies.

To the extreme.

It was a selfie war at this point.

The 6 were put on edge, but they decided to stay with them, so it was their fault.

Although there was one thought a young blonde had since the day they met.

And it was starting to get to her. And considering they were at the mall anyway she could enact on her plan.

“Rosina let’s get you a new outfit. My treat” She had to try and slowly ease her into it. If not, it would sound mean, and she couldn’t possibly do that to the redhead.

But said redhead couldn’t reply before a new blonde nuisance had to but in.

“Why? What's the occasion Chloé, you wouldn’t happen to be buying more ‘gifts’ to keep your friends, would you? Or could it be that you simply don’t like Rosina’s fashion sense?” She wrapped her arms around the redhead, her new innocent friend who didn’t deserve to be tricked by anyone, even if she knew Chloé was trying to be better.

“Aurore” Mireille tried to ease the tension, but she knew it was to no avail.

“No, I just thought we could all go on a shopping spree. But of course, you wouldn’t know anything about fashion to begin with.” She shot back, two could play at that game and so far, she was winning.

“Chloé” Marinette was now trying to keep the piece as Luka squeezed her shoulder in support. He knew they were just teasing, and it was kinda fun to watch.

Marinette.exe has stopped working.

While everyone else was concerned over a passed out Marinette, Rosina started smiling. The two blondes grew confused before their hands were grabbed.

“Ok, let’s go shopping. I’ve never shopped for clothes before so let’s go” They were dragged off with a bouncing Noémie following as the others were preoccupied.

Chloé and Aurore both wanted to drag the girl off to separate stores but unfortunately, they found out if you start pulling on a person, it will eventually hurt. Marinette had to pry them off her before scolding the two, the others either laughing or taking photos, although I think you know who was taking photos, with the caption: new Mum of the group.

Rosina’s first pick from Chloé was a lovely white knee-length dress, black leggings and a light blue jacket. It seemed lovely before Aurore gave her own pick. A floral pattern navy blue dress with white leggings. Of course, the two bickered which one was better as Marinette gave her own pick. And she looked so cute.

A blue tank top with a matching skirt with a teal bodysuit underneath.

“Wow, this is so stretchy, look look I can do the splits in these.” That earned her a clap as she excitedly bounced up and down. And Chloé couldn’t help the feeling of happiness in her gut. It never happened before with Sabrina or Adrien, was it because she wasn’t just bossing them around?

Yeah, that might be it.

“Hey, I could probably sew something onto it to make it stand out if you want?”

“Really? That would be so cool Mari, thank you bestie?” They hugged before Mireille and Marc chose a new outfit as well.

Did she deserve this? After everything she’s done? Did she really deserve this?

Did she-?

“Hey, your friends are trying to help you Chloé, you are included blondie, don’t screw it up” She nudged her shoulder gently.

Huh, she must’ve been able to tell what she was thinking?

But Chloé wasn’t about to admit that. Especially not to Aurore of all people.

“Whatever, I know I’m their best friend, something you could only dream of having” She gave a playful smirk back, they were starting to get along without even knowing it.

“Hayo guys, let’s take a selfie to mark the beginning of this beautiful like friendship with all of you smols. Hope we all hang out some more” Holding out a camera for the 8 people there, posing for the camera, Noémie planning to tag them all later.

“C’mon Chloé! I wanna buy you something too” they were all dragged off to continue their shopping spree. So many clothes were brought, including the ones that the blondes had chosen, Rosina really loved them as well.

They all ended up getting some really cool shades as well, as well as the fact Chloé was able to spot a jacket that had the words ice queen written on the back. She so had to get one for her and Marinette to wear at school for kicks.

Rosina got everyone a bracelet with some colourful charms on. She got one for 3 others, but they weren’t there. They all beamed with glee as the girl was tackled with a hug by them all.

Marinette felt as if she could finally relax around them. They didn’t just hang out with her to try and make a plan for how to get her together with Adrien, they didn’t just hang out with her to just talk about her crush on Adrien, they actually all just wanted to hang out and enjoy each other’s company. Something she never got the chance to do before Lila came in… Not like she thought she’d be able to do, no doubt the topic would soon go towards Adrien eventually.

But she was able to take in the calm atmosphere around the group of 7.

She knew deep down in her heart that they would all soon be the best of friends.

***

The weekend had ended, and boy was a lot packed into that.

A lot.

Not only did everyone have tons of bags pack with new clothes and various items, but they also decided to dine out in Chloé’s hotel. Friends discount was applied here.

And amazingly Kagami was there along with her Mother. Rosina and Tomoe surprisingly had a conversation about fencing, Kagami was still apprehensive considering her Mother’s opinion about friends but it seemed to dissipate once Tomoe heard her Daughter laugh for the first time in a long time.

Tomoe also heard how fond Kagami was of Rosina after hearing about their fencing match, she wished to challenge Rosina to a match of her own to which Rosina happily agreed, much to everyone's surprise.

But they knew the girl could handle herself, 3 more so than the others but it was fine.

Also, remarkably, Rosina was able to convince Kagami and Tomoe to attend more get-togethers with the rest of the group. It might have something to do with Rosina speaking to her in Japanese and found Rosina to be a good influence.

So that’s how the group of 8 became 9.

The next day Rosina had finally started her contract with the Agreste’s. Rosina would start to be Adrien’s “bodyguard” at school, at fencing lessons as well as at photoshoots. On Sundays, she would be a language tutor for him as Saturdays would most likely be a day off, unplanned photoshoot or more piano lessons.

Adrien was ecstatic once this was all sorted. Finally, he wouldn’t be alone anymore, yeah, he wouldn’t be able to talk to Plagg as often, but as long as Plagg had his cheese he was sure he’d be alright. Besides, since Rosina was actually Crisono, he didn’t have to give a reason for his disappearances.

It did give him more of a reason why secret identities shouldn’t be so secret, but he knew he couldn’t reveal himself for his Lady and Master Fū.

The girls, however,

They were less than impressed with Rosina’s decision considering they told her they weren’t friends with Adrien anymore, but, it was Rosina’s choice and they couldn’t tell her not too.

Besides, it was who Rosina was. If she thought of Adrien as a friend, they couldn’t stop her, they may not like it but if they forced her to deny any interactions with him, they would be as bad as Lila.

So they had to learn to accept it and slowly, it didn’t faze them, sure they couldn’t hang out as much, but when you have a girl full of energy you find that they can and will spend as much time as possible with them.

So, when they arrived at school, they weren’t surprised to see Adrien hug Rosina.

“Thanks for agreeing Rosina” The latter nodded as they headed inside. Even if the blonde still hadn’t accepted it fully, the bluenette was there to help.

But then they heard something that made them both smirk.

“Alya are you alright, that new blog just skyrocketed up, it's halfway to the number of followers you have” Mylène seemed devastated but to that Alya waved her hand around, not the least bit interested.

“Oh please, that blog isn’t half as good as mine, where’s the pizazz? Its soo boring to look at I got tired after that first video.” Rose and Juleka didn’t look convinced.

“But her other videos are so much better. They even have that new hero no one knows about on it.” That perked the girl's interest.

“WHAT! How in the world did she get an interview with Crisono?” She soon watched that video and was furious to find Ladybug there as well.

“She’s even provided tips and other stuff with Akuma’s” Juleka joined in as Alya furiously search through the contents of the Let’sBugOut page. It somehow featured Ladybug in most of them, whether it was by video call or in person.

“So, she doesn’t accept interviews from me but from some amateur! How could she?” Alya didn’t know what she had done to receive the cold shoulder from Ladybug but she supposed that maybe she didn’t want her to be in any danger, that maybe if they stopped talking, Akuma’s wouldn’t be so interested to pick her as a target.

At least… That’s how Lila put it when she had come to the girl for help.

“Very easily, don’t you think? At least Aurore doesn’t pry about unnecessary details about Ladybug’s life. And she actually provides facts, something the LadyBlog is really missing.” Chloé retorted, returning to the desk at the back, everyone glaring at her she had become accustomed to it.

“Chloé how could you say that about Alya? Is this just because you aren’t Queen Bee anymore? And you're taking out your frustration on Alya. If you want, I could always ask Ladybug for advice on how you could improve and be a better person?” The girls swarmed around Lila appeared to be shocked while the other two were annoyed, how dare she sully Ladybug’s name!

“Girl there's no need to help someone like her, I know you're extremely kind, but you don’t need to extend it to the likes of her” Alya replied, that girl had a heart of gold.

“Are you sure, I wouldn’t want Chloé to become too upset at being rejected by Ladybug, I couldn’t imagine the shame she must be feeling now.” The duo was able to see that obvious jab made towards the blonde. How no one else could was a definite mystery?

Marinette paused, how Chloé decided to answer may decide on her future prospects of being a hero, what would she say?

“I wasn’t rejected by Ladybug, and how dare you lie about being friends with someone way out of your league.” The girls were quick to retort but Chloé paid them no mind.

“And I am still Queen Bee, in or out of costume. I don’t need it to define me. I’m more of a hero than you’ll ever be” She smirked at the last line before grabbing Rosina from Adrien, who was talking about schedules by the way, and promptly sitting down with Marinette. The blue-haired girl impressed by the blue-eyed girl's words. She didn’t spill the fact that technically she was still Queen Bee, just changed.

Chloé was learning.

She just wished the others would as well.

***

*Pont des Arts = A Pedestrian Bridge In Paris.

I hope you enjoy my new OC I put out. I just thought I wanted Luka to have more friends so here we go.

After making that outfit for Rosina I couldn’t stand it and knew I needed to change it, so I thought why not throw some Chloé sugar in there as I’m at it. Also, I think it’s reasonable for not everyone to believe or accept Chloé’s redemption since not everyone is so ready to forgive, right?

And with that, Rosina has kinda met all of the Marinette Protection Squad members (Minus Felix, he’s gonna be a special case)

1 more chapter till Piper, I really can’t wait for it, the next one will contain some unexpected salt towards a certain bluenette. Hope you’ll all enjoy it as much as me, I just think it’ll be great and clarify stuff.

Also, could someone help me with Rosina’s backstory? Or be willing to read and see if it's alright? Since she was found in a desert I was going to put her birthplace as Egypt, but with Franchezca travelling around she doesn’t really know anything about it, but later she learnt Arabic after her Aunt told her the story of how and where she was found.

Is that alright. I’m not offending anyone with that am I? do I need to change anything with that?

Sorry if it sounds stupid, I just want to make sure it's not insulting anyone.

Also, maybe some help with accents? Her first language was Spanish, but her favourite is Arabic, so what sort of accent would she have?

Anyway, I hope you liked this part can’t wait for the next it will be shorter, maybe haven’t planned it all out yet, but I hope that’s alright.

Note: Updated the pictures. Also, I keep updating Noemié’s design because of the artist in me, haha. hope you like hers.

#my OC #My OC Character #my OC tag #ml ladybug #ml class #ml salt #ml marinette #ml Marc #marinette defense squad #marinette and tikki #Marinette deserves better #ml aurore #ml mireille #ml chloe bourgeois #ml kagami #ml luka #ml Noémie #ml adrien #ml class salt #class salt #ml lila salt #ml alya salt #please comment #let me know your thoughts #series soon #have a good day

[ariyadaivaris]

- oh god vic please come back. where have you gone. we miss you

- NEW GEAR! NEW GEAR FOR TONY the track jacket is obviously new (its very cute i like the rolled up sleeves+tape up to wrists look a lot) and his new goofy lil emblem on his kneepads. also its the same candy red as ariya's. unbearable! i can't stand them. good for him

- "a red wedding of sorts, if you will" HUH? YOU CAN'T SAY THAT. WHY DID HE SAY THAT

- ARIYA DID THE SLASH ACROSS THE THROAT THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT FEELS LIKE LIFETIMES SINCE HE'S DONE IT i love him. terrible. awful. scary <3

- the windup on ariya's elbow drops <3 he is a delight to watch...

- god i wish wish WISH 205 had some fucking storylines again!!!!!!!!!! i love tony and ariya and i love the bollywood boys, you know this, but if i have to watch another mostly directionless tag match that won't go anywhere or lead to anything because the cw division's plot-important stuff is relegated to nxt with an entirely different group of people and none of these guys are considered in high enough regard to reap the rewards of a division they built and carried on their backs for the last 5 years with NO fucking help or faith in them at all i'm going to go off the deep end. i would take an in-ring promo at this point. anything at fucking all   - commentary keeps pushing the "they're working harder than ever to get a title shot" thing and it's just so. i'm insanely depressed about it. does ANYONE genuinely believe, watching this, that they will ever be given a title shot? do the four men in this ring right now have any hope that they will ever see that title on their show again, never mind get a chance at it?   - ariya really isn't ever gonna be a champion is he. the division gets some steam and he's never going to be a part of it. i'm so mad all the time. lol

- its...a struggle to watch 205 recently. it is a struggle to do fucking anything recently but this especially is hard because 205 is like. My Thing. that is the one thing that i am in it for, this is the one thing i have to look forward to on a weekly basis, to mark the passage of time for myself. and i just can't keep doing this! watching alone, having to sustain interest on my own, ignoring the parts of the division that have things going on because its dudes ive never seen on 205 and have no interest in and because its a lot of miserable shitheels and predators that dubya considers relevant for reasons i will never understand (their loyalties have always been clear but given how little anyone cares about like, devlin, who has never done anything in dubya at all even if you ignore That, its like what tradeoff could possibly be worth this unless you want to just signal that you will protect abusers which EVERYONE KNOWS ALREADY), watching and desperately finding scraps of character development in reruns of the same three match configurations over and over and over again involving more dudes that you don't really care about even after all this time because they joined post-plot-or-character and its all with no build, no leadup, no EXCITEMENT, while everyone has already kind of moved on from it for reasons that seem better and better all the time. i don't want to let go of it or stop hoping because i WANT to see if anything happens, i care about ariya and tony's weird fuckin story arcs that much if anything and honestly i think letting go of it at this exact point in time is admitting a loss that i could not withstand at the present moment, but its so...i have to force myself to watch it at this point. and i know it all sounds sooooo pathetic because it is, but i'm just. im so tired!!!!!!!! im so fucking tired of it all

- OHHH SAMIR'S SAVE INTO THE NECKBREAKER OWNS

- ITS FUCKIN SUNIL TIME BABEY!!!!!!!!!! SUNIL SINGH EPIC MOMENTS COMPILATION!!!! GOLD STANDARD DOESNT STAND A CHANCE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- ariya tagging tony in and just kind of collapsing and rolling through the ropes to have a little lie-down on the apron. sunil singh unstoppable, undefeatable, cannot be survived

- ARIYA KNOCKED HIMSELF OUT ON THE POST. ARIYA

- TONY TWO KNEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- TONY GET CLEAN PIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARIYA WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- oh my guy ariya's not lookin too good lol

- he’s fine <3 (he IS okay if you are worried)

- oh now lorcan cares about the cruiserweight division again huh! interesting ^_^

- legado del fantasma should be allowed to do that. i think its okay

- i don't really care about him besides going huh, fun aesthetic i guess, but i like grey's entrance music a LOT. maybe it's just the vocals making it distinguishable from whatever new team is doing the themes and making them all the same boring generic hinting-at-metal pop punk instrumental shit. oh well

- commentary making suuuuuuuch a big deal over grey doing things The Right Way to beat mansoor and IF I DO RECALL CORRECTLY tony as well and ignoring that he cheated to beat ariya. ariya gets cheated out of the recognition he's earned once again i see...pretty sure grey wasn't doing it The Right Way when he put his feet on the ropes against the BACKBONE, the BLOOD, the SPINE of the cruiserweight division but whatever............

- you know what i miss? high flying. that thing that 205 was originally about showcasing in a lot of ways? where did that go (to the corner to sit through timeout for being too good apparently) god i miss lhp i miss cedric i miss babyface moose i miss angel and humberto and AKIRA!!!!...i even miss buddy...wails and gnashes my teeth. i miss alicia and kenta and lio and the kanellises though i am glad they are out of dubya. some of these people aren't high flyers which was the original point whatever i still miss them. i need to rewatch 205 so i can try to have fun and not freak out over just how much of it i have to skip over

-  he is so handsome <///3

- ariya is both very VERY interested in august cheating to beat him and furious that he's not cheating to beat anyone else. why WOULD he do that? he didn't care about it when he had to beat ariya. ariya's not the ONLY heel in the division, and not the only person who would cheat to win. august can position himself as righteous--he's doing things HIS way, after all--and noble, but ariya knows better. august is losing by doing this, too! he's not WINNING! he cares more about his principles than about the win, which is CERTAINLY news to ariya. turnabout is fair play against him, apparently, because It's Daivari and anyone can do anything to him and get off scot-free. ariya watches grey refuse to cheat against anyone else, and he listens and he is commended as a hero for it, and it is driving him up the wall to watch. of course, ariya getting humiliated and treated like shit by people who then get lauded as clean babyfaces who continue thinking of him as a dirty cheater beneath them as they do the same things is uh. he’s encountered it before

- "YOU blew it! you let your pride get in the way! YOU blew it! don't ever forget that!" HM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- this is so fucking juicy. ariya ranks winning through any means above his pride! ariya would rather win dirty than lose clean. he's disgusted that grey won't use his brain to see that a win is better than a loss. ALSO! ariya going "you let your pride get in the way" is SO interesting! self righteousness as arrogance in his eyes feels very illuminating. NO he's not exactly PROUD of the shit he's done but it's the smart thing to do. he's survived, hasn't he? how many other cruiserweights could say that? did mustafa survive? did cedric? did akira? did their principles help them survive? did akira having his arm ripped off just to outlast ariya The Right Way do anything to help him in the long run? what good is doing things the right way when it is so so so fucking hard not to die in here already? on the other hand, ariya is also kind of proud at times! ariya's pride being wounded is what led to the huge character shift he went through to begin with. his pride got in the way of joining drew and tony on the same level and it got in the way of fixing things properly between him and tony until they had to grow back together, and when i say grow i mean it in the sense of...like...a tree. slow and deliberate and taking fucking forever. and it's still never been addressed out loud, really. when ariya says grey's pride got in the way of somethig, he has some idea of what he's talking about ugh. UGH!!!!!!!!! this is all so fascinating. ariya daivari top five characters of all time

#205 lb #meta tag #VERY fun episode for ariya this week. i DID have a good time please ignore the breakdown in the middle

[entity9silvergen]

Oblique- Chapter 2 (Sanders Sides Fanfiction

Previous chapter, Full Story

Story Info:

Summary: Unable to experience romantic attraction, Remus feels incomplete. Unable to feel sexual attraction, Roman feels less than. Maybe as the King, they decide, they will feel whole again. Their partners and friends, however, know this isn’t the solution and seek to help them realize there’s nothing broken about them before it’s too late.

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil, Nate, Remy, Emile, Seth, Toby, Janus, Remus, Unnamed Orange Side, Romulus, Dragon Witch 

Relationships: Logan/ Patton, Virgil/ Roman, Janus/ Remus, Remy/ Emile, Toby/ Seth, Nate/ Orange Side

Other Tags: AroWriMo, Aromantic Remus, Asexual Roman, Spider Virgil, Snake Janus, Orange Side, 7th Side, Additional Sides, No OCs, Short Vid Characters

Warnings for this chapter: Sexual themes, internalized acephobia, internalized arophobia, arousal, romantic feels, minor self-harm, intrusive thoughts, Remus

Author’s Note: There is nothing explicit in this one but there is some post sex scenes and pre almost sex scenes. Also romantic feels. I am aroace so like I don’t actually know what I’m doing, first time writing something like this, but we’re doing it. If any of that makes you uncomfortable, feel free to skip this chapter. It takes place prior to the previous chapter and provides more context to what’s up with Remus and Roman but is not actually relevant to the plot.

====================

Remus felt good in that way only an orgasm could cause.

It was like… like everything inside him just melted away. Everything tense and tight just washed away. It was at times like this he really felt at peace. The only times he felt at peace. With his mind quiet, he really just felt like himself. Not Dark Creativity, not Intrusive Thoughts. Just Remus.

He should go be productive. Draw something that wasn’t totally obscene. Maybe take a shower without trying to swallow the soap. Eat something other than deodorant. Trim his mustache without cutting himself. Nah, he was still going to do all that stuff. He loved it, intrusive thoughts or not.

He started to roll out of bed when an arm stopped him.

“You’re always so quick to leave,” Janus murmured, draping an arm over Remus’s bare hips. Fuck, that was sexy. Why was he so sexy? All naked and relaxed… Disheveled. That was the word Remus was looking for. His hat, gloves, and clothes were long gone, messy brown hair and scales out for the world to see. Well, not the world. Just Remus. Janus was cute when he was like this, rare as it was. Not cute enough for Remus not to have a double take at his words though.

“Is that bad?” Remus asked hesitantly, a bit more of his insecurity in his voice than he would’ve liked. He knew Janus wasn’t mad and he wouldn’t make fun of him. It was just… ugh, the post-sex euphoria was kind of fading and Remus was starting to feel bad about himself again.

Janus looked up at him, breaking out of his affectionate daze. He frowned. “I mean… no? If you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to be. Staying the night is just nice.”

“Why?” 

The question tumbled out of Remus’s mouth before he could think, like most things he said did. He felt like he shouldn’t have said that but he couldn’t help it. And he really did want to know.

“It just… um, helps with the emotional side of hooking up?” Janus ventured. Remus tried not to frown. “The romantic aspect?”

“Oh. Um, okay.”

“Okay what?”

“Okay, I’ll stay,” Remus responded and flopped back down on the bed, letting his back hit the sheets once more. Janus stayed where he was. Remus just stared at the ceiling, unsure if Janus’s touch was nice or uncomfortable. They were both all sweaty. And sticky. Didn’t people normally shower after this? Or wipe off or whatever? Normally Remus would just run around naked and the air would dry him off and he’d be good as new but that didn’t really feel like an option right now.

“You look so uncomfortable.” 

“What? I’m not uncomfortable.”

“You’re like a tree right now.”

“Unfuckable unless you want splinters?” Remus cracked, looking down at Janus, but the snakey Side didn’t seem amused.

“You’re literally lying on your back with your arms at your sides,” Janus deadpanned. He shifted a bit, resting his head on Remus’s chest. “And that’s fine but you look stressed. Which is weird because you just came and normally that makes you all loose. Figuratively, not literally, don't look at me like-”

“I’m loose in so many more ways than one,” Remus responded with a shit eating grin, wiggling a bit. Janus sighed, sounding exasperated but fond. But then Remus sobered up. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. You know I don’t really mind your jokes. Or lewdness. It’s just part of who you are as a Side.”

“Not that. I meant for not being… romantic. It’s just not my thing. I’m not Roman.”

Janus lifted his head to look at him. “I don’t want Roman. You think if I wanted Roman I’d be in bed with you? If I wanted Roman, I’d be having Roman.”

Remus couldn’t stifle his laughter. Roman probably wouldn’t want Janus either, not when Virgil was so clearly the Side for him, but Janus’s confidence and self-assurance amused him. He was right, Janus probably had the swagger to seduce whoever in the mindscape he wanted. Though he may be biased.

“I don’t really care if you do the whole romantic bit of a relationship,” Janus went on, putting his head back down. “Feelings can get kind of icky. You’re my best friend and I love you, I wouldn’t change that.”

Now, Remus knew Janus said that to comfort him but it just made him feel all kinds of bad. Guilty. Selfish. Ungrateful. He didn’t like these feelings. He was the Duke! He didn’t get down in the dumps. He was just pure, unfiltered nastiness. Not whatever this was. 

He didn’t know if Janus expected a response or not but he just smiled awkwardly and patted Janus’s hair. Janus didn’t comment on how grimy his hands were and just relaxed against him, seeming to enjoy Remus’s fingers in his hair. It felt weirdly intimate to be doing this. It was nice, Remus supposed, but it felt foreign. Like he was missing something. Maybe he was missing something.

He tried to steer those thoughts away. He was naked in bed with his best friend, not fully clothed and crying in the shower alone like he normally was when these moments hit. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking about that. He was… This was a good moment. Good things were happening. He’d just had an amazing night of mindblowing sex. His friend- partner, fuck buddy, boyfriend, whatever- had just told him he loves and accepts him. How could he be thinking about this right now?

Janus would tell him he wasn’t broken. That he wasn’t missing anything. That he was amazing the way he was. But Remus couldn’t find it in himself to bring it up right now. It was hard, not voicing his thoughts. He loved talking, spouting out every thought that crossed his mind. These ones though… He didn’t really want Janus worrying about. He already knew what Janus would say. Janus was a two-faced liar who could trick the smartest Side in the mindscape but Remus trusted him. Janus knew how to be serious. He knew how delicate Remus’s heart could be when it came to- to… He wouldn’t tell Remus anything about himself that he didn’t believe. It was just Remus who didn’t believe it.

Remus loved himself. He knew he was amazing. He loved his creations and that he could creep any Side and Thomas out. He just wanted to live his best life. But that little voice telling him something was wrong, giving him memories of a time before, would always be there.

Maybe it was time he listened to it.

=================

Roman just felt so freaking good.

His heart just felt so full. He just had so much love in him that he felt like he was going to burst. It thrummed in his chest, letting the feeling of life flow freely into his limbs. He didn’t know why he felt like this. Maybe it was because of the role he fulfilled as Thomas’s romantic facet and his fanciful side. Or maybe he was just so high on love that it got him all giddy like this. He didn’t know, he just knew he liked it. It was an amazing feeling that he just wanted to have forever. 

But all good things had to come to an end.

Virgil withdrew from him, not quite letting go but enough that Roman craved his touch again. He leaned in for another kiss, and managed to successfully get one, before noticing the look in his boyfriend’s eyes. It wasn’t… a bad look. Not a new one either. Just somewhat different.

Virgil was definitely turned on. Expected, after making out for however long they’d spent doing just that. To be honest, Roman was pretty into it too and he could feel some arousal coming in. It was an exciting feeling, one only supplemented by the rush of affection he was feeling. 

So why did he feel so uneasy?

Virgil slotted his palms over Roman’s hips and gave him a sultry look. “You want to do a bit more?”

Roman opened his mouth to respond but no words came out. He didn’t know if it was from arousal or fear. He locked eyes with Virgil and nodded, trying to look eager. Virgil looked… excited? Happy? Satisfied? Something. He looked something good at his response and started undoing the zipper and buttons on his pants. Roman looked away, not really wanting to watch despite all the feelings happening down there. It was only once Virgil’s fingers were hooked around his underwear that it became apparent something was wrong.

“Dude, you okay?”

“Don’t call me dude when we’re in bed. You’ll kill the mood.”

“I’m trying to kill the mood. You look hella uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable.”

“You looked away when I took your pants off and you flinched when I touched your underwear. Is that comfortable in your world?”

“I’m fine, Virge. Let’s just keep going.”

“We don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.”

“But I do want to,” Roman insisted, gesturing vaguely to his crotch which was very visibly hard through his underwear.

Virgil didn’t budge. “Having a boner and wanting me to touch you are two different things, Princey.”

Roman sighed. “I know.”

“Consent is sexy.”

Roman sighed louder. “I know, Virgil.”

“Communication is-”

“I know, Virgil.”

“Come on, talk to me, Princey.”

“You’re still killing the mood.”

“I know, Roman,” Virgil responded, mimicking Roman’s tone, before giving him a serious look. “What’s up? If you don’t want to, that’s fine.”

Roman opened his mouth but, again, no words came out. How was he supposed to articulate his thoughts? He wanted to… do stuff. Sexual stuff. Touching. That sounded fun. Sex was supposed to be, like, a big thing in a relationship, right? So shouldn’t he want to do it, being the romance guy and all?

Maybe it was because sex was more of a Remus thing. Ew, no wait, he shouldn’t be thinking about his brother right now. Actually, that was a big turn off which was what he needed right now. But point was that sex was never his thing. Roman didn’t think about it much. Or at all. Should he? That was something people thought about, right?

Thinking about sex made him feel… gross. Not completely though? Thomas was a pretty sex positive guy so all the Sides generally viewed consestuall sex as a healthy part of a relationship but anytime Roman thought about sex in a more personal way, not as an abstract concept, he felt all weird. And he knew he shouldn’t. Sex was natural. Hundreds of generations of humans have been doing it. So why couldn’t he?

There was just this… disconnect. Between what, he wasn’t sure. His feelings, his body, arousal, desire, all of it. And it felt wrong. Like, it should be there. He didn’t know what it felt like but he could imagine it. He’d read about it and he could see it in his mind but when it came to the present moment, it just wasn’t there. He-

Odin’s eyepatch, Virgil was waiting for him to say something, wasn’t he?

“Can we… not?” Roman said weakly, hating how unsure he sounded. But to his relief, Virgil just nodded. 

“That’s fine. We’re not ready,” Virgil responded. Roman couldn’t tell if he sounded disappointed or not. “But I, um, I’m going to go take a cold shower. Figuratively, not literally. I hate the cold. I’m going to go jer- I’m going to go take a shower. And you can do whatever you need to do or take one after me. And then we can just hang out. Does that sound alright?”

Roman was a bit surprised Virgil seemed so together. Not anxious. He was still a bit rambly but mostly together. Maybe he was just trying to put on a face for Roman’s sake. Either way, he was grateful that Virgil was taking the lead on this one, however odd it may be for the other Side. Smiling, he nodded. Virgil returned it and wandered off to the bathroom.

But when he returned, Roman was nowhere to be found.

=======================

They both slunk out in the night, stumbling to the Neutral Zone with similar goals in mind. Consciously or unconsciously, it was impossible to tell. They were just hurting and that was enough to draw them together.

Still, they looked surprised at the sight of each other, Roman on the stairs leading up and Remus surfacing from the basement. It was dark but the red and green of their clothes seemed to stand out. They stayed silent, staring at each other wordlessly, waiting to see who would move first.

It was a third figure who broke the silence.

“Sup guuurlssss,” Remy slurred as he drifted through the living room, seeming to materialize out of nowhere. Both of the twins jumped, startled by his sudden appearance, but Remy was already wandering towards the hallway by the time they realized who exactly it was. “Go to the dreamspace if you’re going to destroy anything, bitches. Toby will be pissed if you touch his shit. Byeeee.”

The twins watched the Neutral Side walk away, his shuffle making him seem to float away in a very dream-like manner. But that was just how Remy was and they could ignore him and soon they were once again focused on each other. Remus spoke first.

“So why are you here?”

“Why are you here?”

“I asked first.”

“But I’m older.”

“Explain or I fart and wake up the whole floor. And you know how smellicious this tank can-”

“Ugh. Okay, fine.”

“Well?”

“...”

“Princey.”

“What was the question?”

“Why are you here, Prince Boring?”

“Um, well…”

“Just spit it out, brother mine.”

“How do you sex?” Roman blurted bluntly.

Remus started at him. He blinked. Once. “What?”

“How do you do sex?” Roman repeated, looking flustered. “I can’t.”

To his credit, Remus was quiet for a full three seconds before bursting out laughing.

Roman scowled. “It’s not funny! I just… I can’t.”

Remus tried to smother his laughter to a series of giggles, wiping a couple fake- or real, who knows?- tears out of his eyes. “Oh Princey! You should’ve come to me sooner! I tried giving Seth some crash course kink lessons from yours truly but Toby hit me. Really hard. It was hot. Janus let me do my whole spiel on him but it’s no fun when you’re fucking the guy you’re teaching because he already knew all this stuff when he signed up to be my fuck buddy but now that you’re-”

“Stop. I already regret this,” Roman said, waving his hands. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Poopy.” Remus didn’t actually sound disappointed, a blessing in disguise. 

“I just… can’t get into it.”

“I know what you mean,” Remus said, surprising Roman. When Roman didn’t speak, Remus continued. “I can’t do feelings. All that romantic stuff? Bleh. Not for me. But I feel bad because I think Janus would like it. I’ve tried but it just feels like it’s… not… there.”

Roman suddenly felt a surge of mutuality for his brother. He was voicing exactly how he felt. Well, not exact. Opposite, really. But he felt understood. “Do you think it’s because of the split?”

“I- Maybe,” Remus admitted with a shrug. He rubbed a finger under his nose. Roman almost reached out to stop him from picking his nose but he was just scratching his mustache. “It feels like… like… I’m a mirror. And I shattered. A long time ago. And someone taped me back together. They really tried but they did an awful job. There’s sharp pieces sticking out everywhere ready to cut your hands open so you can watch as you bleed out but the reflection’s all fucked up and you just see all the dark, awful… goop inside of you. And there are pieces missing. And I don’t know where they are.”

“They’re probably in me,” Roman said softly. “I don’t feel like-” He gestured loosely in Remus’s direction- “that. I feel like- like a mirror that broke but got put together with glue. They made something new and it’s- it’s art. But it’s still broken. You just can’t always tell but it’s real and it’s there.”

Remus nodded, uncharacteristically solemn. He was playing with his hands, like he was nervous. Roman noticed tiny cuts on his hands around his fingernails, like he was picking at them. He wasn’t picking now though, just fidgeting. Like Virgil. “Do you think we’d be whole together? As King Creativity? Do you remember if he felt normal?”

Roman hesitated. “I don’t remember. But I think… Remus, I feel so empty all the time. Like I’m only half a Side. And not just about the sex thing. I feel so- so- so-”

“Oblique?”

“Oblique,” Roman whispered. “And I want to feel normal. And I think maybe we can do that if we tried to… I don’t know, unsplit?”

Remus didn’t say anything but his face betrayed him. With decisiveness, he offered Roman his hand. And Roman accepted it.

No longer would they be broken mirrors of each other. No longer would they be oblique. Soon, they would be whole once again.

Next chapter

#fanfiction #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #arowrimo #aromantic #asexual #asec #janus sanders #deceit sanders #demus #roman sanders #prince roman #virgil sanders #prinxeity #creatvitwins #king creativity #read note for warnings #chapter 2 of 3

[norcumii]

Ruminating on Rebels, 2

I know I took awhile with this episode, but boy does it feel long. The pacing is off? Or my brain is just unhappy. No idea which. I suspect that’s just my brain, though.

SPOILERS AHEAD. REBELS CRITICAL. For details what this is about, here’s a post.  My relevant tag is “throwing popcorn at Rebels”.

Episode 2: Spark of Rebellion Part II

Overview:

Ezra runs into the Star Destroyer to warn the team, gets to Zeb and Kanan just before they get ganked at the cell block. Sabine cuts the gravity, leaves a lot of explosives at the control room, but Ezra gets caught on the way out. The Ghost crew makes it to hyper before finding this out from Zeb, vote on going back or not. Kallus makes a pretext of questioning Ezra (note: I think it’s meant as legit, but it felt lackluster), and then Ezra escapes as the Ghost crew arrives to rescue him. They meet up part way and book it, only to find that while escaping, Ezra overheard where the wookies REALLY were being held. Off they go to Kessel to save the wookiees! Fight scene at the spice mines, leading to Kanan using the lightsaber and getting ID’d as a Jedi, Ezra faces off against Kallus to save a kid wookiee, the team escapes. Kanan offers Ezra a chance to join up and learn to use the Force, and away they go to a  dramatic voice-over by Obi-Wan via holocron recording.

Random impressions:

These wookiees are AWFUL

PLASTIC FOR YOU, PLASTIC FOR YOU, BAD ACTION FIGURES OF EEEEEEVERYONE

I really, REALLY, R E A L L Y don’t like Hera. She’s advertised as team leader and Space!Mom, but all I keep seeing is manipulative bullshit. Apparently letting Ezra take the holocron was a test to see if he was Force sensitive. Her comment in the Ghost the last episode about “If all you do is fight for your own life, then your life is worth nothing” - aaaagh. That – I get what they’re TRYING to say, about having Purpose is good, but having been in A Very Bad Place where all I could do was cling by my fingernails and try to take care of myself because 1, no one else would and 2, that was literally all I could manage – that just smacks me in the face with guilt-tripping. I know it’s not meant to be that, just...UGH. At best, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I’m going to continue side-eyeing her until she proves she’s not ACTUALLY an asshole, and yes, that is apparently an uphill battle.

The rescued wookiees say that if the Ghost crew “ever need help, they’ll be there” - THAT BETTER PAY OUT BEFORE THE SERIES IS OVER. (spoiler: Wookieepedia indicates it does not. I am disappoint, though I will keep an eye out in case it’s wrong.)

I am totally convinced now that Ezra HAS actually been using the Force awhile. The way he somersaults over crates into cover – dodging blaster bolts – and then later over a trooper to get between him and a Wookiee kid – that’s something Ezra KNOWS he can do. Like, past experience doing that sort of leap. I want to see how this interacts with Kanan’s lessons.

Kanan dodges bolts a lot more than he reflects them, but when he does they tend to take out troopers effectively. Someone’s spent time practicing.

Speaking of, he goes WAY hard on the Stoic Holy Jedi (With A Lightsaber Up His Ass) thing. Ugh. I want the goofy smuggler more. That’s more fun, AND show’s growth away from his past. We’ll see how that interacts with right now he’s trying to Jedi because oh noes, it’s a padawan (WHUT DOOOOOO)!

When Kanan shows up to save Ezra, he’s is riding on top the ghost, which pops up alongside the catwalk. ....meaning Mr. Drama Llama opened the doors to a shipping crate in flight and somehow flipped his way up to the top of the ship, OR lightsabered his way an exit through the TOP of the crate, which I hope was done carefully or they took out parts of the magnetic seal keeping the crate attached to the bottom of the ship. ...Jedi. SIGH. WHY COULD NO ONE MAKE A CRACK ABOUT THAT? YES IT WAS IMPRESSIVE, BUT THEN AFTERWARDS IT MAKES A GREAT TENSION RELEASE TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT WAS UNUSUAL. Meh. Ok, that one’s probably me being too finicky.

Sabine left about 20 explosives in the control room. Just one of those has been shown to be enough to blast open doors and destroy a speeder bike. HOW MUCH BOOM DO YOU NEED? I mean, ok, this leads to a hole in the side of the super star destroyer (venting atmosphere! :D That was some LOVELY animation and there WAS squee about that!)

Zeb is a gods damned wreck. If he were less physically violent, I would pick him as a favorite, because interesting non-human and it’s clearly trauma and not knowing how to people that leads to him being...him. However, I can’t get over the way he’s THAT rough. There’s a line between “you’re dealing with old issues poorly, and that expresses itself through (at best) roughhousing and not gauging your own strength” and “you’re beating up on others and using your trauma as an excuse for it, and we all know how well ‘cool motive still murder’ works as a defense.”

When Ezra left, Chopper made sad bwoops and waved goodbye in a non-sarcastic way. Whut.

The animators are still not getting clear direction. The bit that really jumped out at me was when Ezra saves the kid wookiee, he’s shown hoisting the kid’s cuffed hands and looking all puzzled at the binders – and we just saw how he IMMEDIATELY knew how to pick those things open on the adult wookiees. Possibly just me being nitpicky again, but it’s very jarring to me.

The “I swear, if he gets left behind again it is not my fault!” bit showed up, and I can’t tell if that’s them trying to make the repetition is funny thing, or establishing a trend? I mean, I COULD see a longer running...not gag, but trend, of Zeb having to either leave or haul Ezra out of things and them bitching at each other over this for YEAAAAARS until it’s just an easy thing, a well-worn way to poke at a friend like an affable punch to the shoulder that is just a thing they do. Which could be cute, if done right.

Hopefully more coherent views:

The inter-group dynamics are wild, and I don’t think I mean that in a complimentary sense. Zeb is just...kinda broken, ok. Sabine was kind of a non-entity through most of this. I don’t have the spoons to count her lines, but the most memorable thing that she did was want to know how the explosion looked. Which...ok? I guess? Hera had more characterization, and we got the Competent!Pilot thing – along with the Manipulative Asshole thing, which yeah, I’m eyeballing a LOT more. Chopper came across as irritable and generally a cranky old man, which would fly better if Zeb wasn’t already trying to squat on that territory. It makes things feel more grating than perhaps they are. Kanan is your average Jedi but in better clothes, and I can’t tell how much sanctimoniousness is he doesn’t know how to teach, how much is just discomfort, and how much is I don’t like the manipulation of Ezra.

As for Ezra, he’s got some NEAT skills. I...kinda like the whole “nope, I’m not a hero, not running out there in a the middle of a blaster fight to save some rando” attitude because it’s hints of the hero’s journey having far to go, but there’s not enough heart of gold for me to give any shits. He’s TOO caught up in his own situation for me to care (and while I don’t blame him as a character for that, it makes him a third-rate Aladdin archetype. All the ‘in the rough’ but no ‘diamond’).

Kallus is satisfying to dislike, for all that he feels like a poor man’s Thrawn. The temper tantrum of kicking the surviving stormtrooper off the catwalk was gratuitous, but fine. We’re not supposed to like him. (Yes, I know about later, but I’m ignoring that at the moment.)

So. Yaye, I guess. We have our characters, we have our villain and our on-the-sidelines villain in the Inquisitor waiting to swoop in to be all mastermind badguy. We have our setup, and a few potential threads to follow back on.

End summary:

That was a weak (second half to a) first episode. I mean, again, that’s not a killer, but nothing about the show grabs me and goes “ISN’T THIS THING AWESOME???” There’s too much internal conflict without enough glue to bond people together, I have strong reasons to dislike almost everyone (and the rest are too undeveloped yet to really hit me one way or another). With the animation doing nothing for me, it’s...getting no traction so far.

#rebels critical #star wars rebels #thinky thoughts #long post is long #throwing popcorn at rebels #spoilers #yes i am this slow watching media

[bloodfcst-a]

given the revival of the vii fandom with all of the hullabaloo surrounding remake, i can think of no better time to do this meme. i also suggest you check out my updated nav page if you haven’t already! i worked really hard on it okay sobs.

things a new rp partner should know about me !

write 3-5 things a new rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests. 

tagged by: no one, but it’s a shame bc... i got thoughts. you were warned.

tagging: @angereve​ @enshijou​ @breselin​ @serophs​ @strfe​ @fractempyreal​ @extremepath​ @localmagicalboi​ @shimmerseas​ @duplikiss​ @verumking​ @asterites​ + if it strikes your fancy.

i. i am not your mother’s/father’s yu.ffie blog. while i do have a verse reserved for compilation content, that’s not the main premise of this blog. if you came here for oversexualized underage ninjas.... i’m going to have to direct you elsewhere. out here we’re primarily an adult modern interpretation... who does not daylight as a ninja constantly. she can, however, be a y.akuza or a sheltered member of high society who enjoys kicking ass for justice so if you’re interested in that, y’know. c’mon down.

ii. the typical ‘ yu.ffie is a kleptomaniac ’ / ‘ stop stealing my stuff ’ trope is like. one that grates my very existence. i have talked about this many times, but for those of you who are new: yufi has only stolen out of necessity to her cause. the only time i’ll refer to petty theft on this blog is if she like steals a fry or something. if we’re joking around, okay, but... please don’t consider that to be the sole core of her characterization. i’m begging. i’m on my knees. i’m warning you, i’ll cry and then i’ll probably ignore whatever post you’ve mentioned it in if you’re serious. just. don’t be that person if you’re following me.

if we’re going into it, the only times she’s stolen anything were: > in crisis core, as the ‘ treasure princess. ’  but this is arguable, as the treasure is truly up for grabs to start with & zack repeatedly goes after these locations she’s sent to him ( which, by the way, were sent to her from rufus to attempt to retaliate against + destroy shinra hq ). zack already knew what was up when: 1) she showed up in his spam folder; 2) she literally said she’s on the hunt for treasure; and 3) he knew at least after the second time that he was gon’ get goinked ( please see definition #2 ) so... can’t help him there. > in vanilla vii, when the party is foolish enough to meet her and not recruit her off the bat ( it be ya own self ). to be fair, 99% of her interactions with easterners / non-wutai prior to that moment had been people who either wanted to kill her or exploit her, so... it’s only self-preservation to use them before they use her or worse, leave her for dead. a sad reality for a 16 year old. > in vanilla vii, only after the party arrives to wutai & she thinks she can successfully finish her mission of “ getting all the strongest materia. ” after she’s captured, she does apologize, and then afterward makes cloud sign it in writing. so. y’know, she did learn from her mistake & said “ ugh, guess i gotta put that diplomacy training to use. ”

y’all could argue that she’s a thief class and that’s what they do, but note that it’s NOT one of her core skills-- it’s a MATERIA. which means everyone out there with a steal materia could be out here being a kleptomaniac. cloud? barret? tifa? red xiii? none of your favs are safe. her skills in the game, however, are shit called “ blood festival ” ( oh? see the username’s relevance all of a sudden? aha! ) and “ doom of the living. ”  she’s out here summoning ghosts and reigning otherworldly power on ur ass but... fandom wasn’t ready for that conversation !!  some folks were too BASIC and couldn’t handle her true strength... so i will gladly champion that for you.

iii. i like to emphasize that yufi is an emotionally strong yet traumatized figure, which stems from her origins and that i just put that in the forefront. we have a character who is haunted by her mother who died after childbirth, seemingly rejected from her father yet held to the highest of his standards, has attachment issues because she’s the “ black sheep ” and doesn’t just accept defeat or dejection even if it comes from her core community, survived multiple wars, has led in post-war rescue efforts on multiple occasions, was wrongfully imprisoned, was on the forefront of pandemic outbreaks as a first-responder, joins and rises to the top of an organization created to restore world order, is one of the two top operatives in said organization ( and the one out on the field longer--sorry vin.cent, but u only got involved at lu.cretia and when the actual gunshots disturbed your brooding and wine session filled isolation sessions. but like, mood tho ), pretends to be cheery despite clearly remembering all the hauntings and death and other bullshit she’s been facing since she was a toddler.... oh, and she disarmed bombs when her country was wrongfully targeted + used as political bait for terrorists...when she was a child. that’s canon, if we’re talking about  “ accuracy. ” even in vanilla vii, she had no outlets, no one to turn to, ‘cause everyone was cloud vc: “ not interested. ”  

so if you’re on this blog, it’s not like you won’t see happy  yufi... but realize that i recognize that she is multifaceted and has a lot of baggage. emotional issues which unfortunately i bring to every verse gfdohfofh but u know, it’s core to her character + y’all gon have to deal, or... idk, go find another yufi. i’m not forcing you to be here.

iv. in my opinion, the best plotting comes with ooc conversations/interactions. i’m not saying if we plot that we’re required to be friends, ‘cause i don’t wanna force anyone into friendship, but i truly believe that if you want super deep plots with frequent interactions, we should... probably talk more than once. pretty simple, imo !  sometimes people claim i play favorites, but i really don’t... if you never talk to me and you don’t respond to my attempts to interact, then how am i supposed to know you’re interested? 

as a general rule, i’ll put in as much effort as i receive. if i see you’re interested in me, if we’re really vibing when it comes to plotting, if you’re sending asks & liking posts, we’ve got some threads going, rad !  if i like starter calls and send you asks and message you and you never respond to me... ?  i’ll take that as a sign you don’t wanna talk + i should move on to someone else. if i’m wrong, well... do something to change my mind.

v. i know i went hard as fuck on this meme, but that’s bc I’M REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT ABOUT THIS MUSE.  in reality i’m actually quite soft + a weenie babie. if you ask.......... most people, i think they’d say i try really hard to be approachable and adaptable. i think everyone who talks to me on discord laughs at me because i’m scared of the stupidest things + i love to make jokes and just be funny and relatable. so please be nice and love me and my sassy fighty extremely tough deprived child. we both need hugs. 

kthx i’m finally done.

#♝ mun. #long post / #WHEW. #also my nav legit has a f.a.q so like..... #i'm trying y'all ! #but ! if u never ask u'll never know. #until i decide to drop a wealth of knowledge on you all gdoifdhodgd #whoops my hand slipped......

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

More of the Misadventures of Aish rereading Misadventures and fixing typos, like a cowardly fool because I can’t sleep

chapters 21-25 oh no here we go

(actually I did this in like November on my phone but only just now remembered that I never posted it so here ya go, this is all weeks old)

Okay so with the chapter titles, I didn’t actually start naming them until about ch27 or so, but I had already nicknamed this chapter something like “IT’S FRIENDSHIP YOU COWARDS” bc this one got a surprising amount of notes on tumblr and I’m 99% sure most of the people who read it did not realize that this is in fact a Kimax fic

And also THIS CHAPTER WAS THE TURNING POINT. I could either have kept the fic rly lighthearted until way near the end, or decide to start shoving in the Angst much quicker. 3 guesses what I picked >:D

Oh highkey same Alix?? except for me it’s not superpowers or anything it’s just called “anxiety disorder”

The obliviousness physically pains me

I’m the guard who just blatantly lets Alix steal popcorn. also why was there just casually popcorn there. god I don’t even know what I was thinking when I wrote any of this

Oh yeah I remember!! I was mad at people setting off the smoke alarm while making popcorn in the middle of the night!! just uni things am I right

...why am I noticing now that the whole popcorn thing is just a metaphor for Kim’s entire love life I am going to throw this fic out of the window I swear

IT REALLY IS, UGH I HATE THIS, ARE YOU TELLING ME I DID THAT BY ACCIDENT

this is a freaking game of Civilization where one civ takes a runaway lead in the science victory while the rest are all still stuck in the industrial era

Kim is me watching dinosaur movies too tbh, dinosaurs are so frickin rad

well this is depressing

and adorable

I hate so much that I know what the Bad Dream means I hate it I hate it I h

IT’S OKAY KIM I’M PROUD OF YOU, YOU’RE MY SON AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

“It’s not up to you to question why people care about you so just roll with it” damn past me, that’s actually some really good advice???

Alix is a Kimax shipper even this early in the fic, btw. whenever she talks to them about each other she’ll always say stuff like “oh yeah you two are so close” or “he cares about you so much” without specifying whether she means that platonically... my dudes... she’s shipping it

Kim having an existential crisis in early hours of the morning is such a mood because it’s 2am and I’m having one right now

BAD FORESHADOWING, YES BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO START HAPPENING SOON LIKE ASSASSINATIONS AND STUFF, YOU WEREN’T WRONG

Alright chapter 22 now

the carriage guards!! my favourite characters in the entire fic!!!!!! they’re the BEST okay they just casually chill at school through the entire thing and only show up again in the last chapter omg they’re so amazing I love them??? absolute LEDGES

Kim’s parents being all like “yeah if our son doesn’t wanna come home from school then just KIDNAP HIM and bring him back lmao”

“Hey, do you want me to threaten your guards with my snake or something?” WAS THAT FORESHADOWING??? BECAUSE SHE VERY MUCH DOES DO THAT LATER. TO DIFFERENT GUARDS YES BUT IT’S LEGIT A THING SHE DOES

talking on the phone is stressful? yes it’s that good old “anxiety disorder” again, really a pain tbh

god I’m so proud of Kim, already that good good character development

also Kim’s grandma is me

omg I have to put Kim and Alix’s dumb chess games in the sequel, I came up with an entire thing about how they blatantly cheat etc and it’s ridiculous and Max gets a headache whenever he has to “referee” (aka make sure they don’t fight), it’s so great okay

me: *thinks about chapter 34 and throws up*

oh I’m the snake too btw. the snake also will hate chapter 34

Max holy moly repressing your feelings isn’t healthy??? stop that

hhhhhhh chapter Lila now, like literally that’s the entire chapter 23, it’s basically just Lila

this is just the damn Volpina episode

dupainchien!!!!! dupainchien!!!!!!!!!

I know this isn’t even that much of a big deal in this fic but like... can Marinette and Adrien just get together already lmao

hskdjhdkjfhgs for the record Lila and Kim is actually a pretty good ship?? but they’d both try to out-brag each other and it would be ridiculous so uh

hm anyways. time for CHAPTER AROACE

Kim’s like. ABOUT TO start falling for Max oh thank god, I need this

Lila: *just stabs Kim’s homework with a parasol*

Kim just... Did That??? WE STAN

(oh and later note: in this he just treats Lila like how Adrien treated her in Chameleon lol)

I remember at this point I wasn’t sure if Lila would actually really return in the fic, and then literally like 2 chapters later I brought her back already because damn that girl needs a redemption arc

do I hug Kim or do I hug Max?? you FOOLS, you ABSOLUTE BUFFOONS, I am going to hug ALIX for having to deal with all their romo bullshit

Max trying to get drunk on orange juice is the mood

JULEKA’S MAGICAL GAYDAR!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!

(also Juleka is absolutely wearing a Reflekta dress)

Juleka, outright: “Max. my dude. alix is aroace you dense idiot. you are all idiots. you absolute fuckwits.”

I’m still the snake btw

hhhhhhhhhh I wanna make a daisy chain now, or just go outside and sprawl in some grass, I can’t because it’s 2.30am and I live in the city and it’s winter, screw this fic for making me miss my school days

oh no I’m having an allergic reaction again

I mEAN IT’S CUTE THO, IT’S CUTE, BUT I KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN A BIT LATER SO THIS IS JUST PAINFUL

“You need more sleep” me calling myself out

I am going to hit Kim over the head,,

STOP BEING WEIRD JUST TELL HER YOU LIKE HER?? GOOD GOD I DON’T EVEN SHIP IT AND I STILL WANT YOU TO GET A BLOODY MOVE ON

oh good, he wants to smack himself in the face too

no nonono no Alix I think you are cute too. but you see, I mean it in the adopting way. but you ARE objectively adorable (source: the Reverser episode and also like all the other episodes) people just don’t say it in this au because of your TERRIFYING PET SNAKE

she offered to give him a telephone... lov that foreshadowing

*unimpressed* “are you in love with me?” OH FUCKING FINALLY

skdfhskdjfhsd avoiding people and having a heart attack when someone knocks on your door? I see the return of that anxiety disorder eh

Alix didn’t bring the snake (me) with her on purpose bc she knows Kim is still a bit scared of it at this point and doesn’t want him to be in a bad mood while she’s crushing his heart and soul

GOD YES I LOVE THIS SCENE

I hate myself because when I was writing this I was thinking “oh mood?? oh mood worm same hat???” and yet still. didn’t. realize. I’m. aro. *le sigh*

I’m gonna cry this is so sweet

“So are bossy, intimidating, hot girls your type?” no actually because Ondine is neither bossy nor intimidating (tho yeah she is hot) (and not particularly relevant in this fic unfortunately)

Alix is not in fact as oblivious as she claims to be btw, she just thinks it would sound mean to say “oh yeah I guessed you had a thing for me but I aggressively ignored it bc it annoyed me since I’m aroace lmao”

I’m genuinely going to hecking cry omg I remember now why this was my Ultimate Brotp for so long ugh it’s so good, @ ZAG LET KIM AND ALIX BE FRIENDS

I’m laughing?? so hard??? at the fact that their height difference is so ridiculous that literally like he has to kneel down??? god this is the funniest thing

oh also btw she was internally debating with herself like “should I give him the mistletoe kiss?? sounds gross but I feel so bad for him dammit” and decided to right there on the spot because she was lowkey curious anyway, which I’ll be honest is still an aro mood

OMG I’M ACCIDENTALLY SUCH A GENIUS OMG LISTEN NO LEMME EXPLAIN

SO LIKE. there are two (2) instances in this fic where I tried to pretend to be funny by dropping in the word “heartrate”. one is near the beginning, and the other is right here

in other words, the exact start and end points of Kim’s crush on Alix?? AND I DID THAT BY ACCIDENT OMG I’VE CHANGED MY MIND I’M PROUD OF MYSELF NOW

oh... oh no. uh oh. the dreaded evil Chapter Twenty Hecking Five

it’s called “Pain” for a reason. also my OG nickname for it was “Death”. also for a reason.

I even listened to Death Valley (the FOB song) on repeat while writing it (along with the next like 9 chapters lol) because the word DEATH just seemed so accurate

no really this is THE real turning point in the fic, where it stops being just a dumb teen movie and starts being all A N G S T Y

like this is the first chapter that has NO lightheartedness AT ALL

okay. here we go

this is all??? foreshadowing??? for dumb chapters like 30 and 34??? I Hate

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE SNAKE

I’M HAVING A HEART ATTACK JUST READING THESE WORDS THIS IS SO HORRIFYING ALEXA PLAY DEATH VALLEY

this is the equivalent of seeing a kwami die, for the record. like I know kwamis can’t die but THIS IS HOW IT WOULD FEEL

god this is even worse in hindsight knowing what happens later, bc poor Alix is all like @ herself “oh well it’s a nightmare so it’s not real” and I’m just like... oh dear. honey. sweetie. welp. I mean on the bright side you’re psychic so that’s kinda cool right

I love how Jalil is actually really sweet and a genuinely cool brother, you just never get to see it when Kim’s around bc he hates Kim lmao (I mean for good reasons..)

“I can’t live without this snake!” I MEAN YOU’RE NOT WRONG

these timeline powers are SO cursed man. why was I so evil and cruel holy actual shit

(the whole “some character deaths but not really” tag refers to all this clusterfuck btw)

okay it’s funny how this bit with Adrien is the Collector episode despite it not having aired yet when I wrote this, I guess I’m psychic too

Nathalie being sympathetic huh? not so much in the sequel when I get round to it...

Adrikins being all “I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER” I’m dying

uh yeah there’s a difference between being grounded, and like, literal actual house arrest

damn... capitalism really is bad

so is imperialism

fix this damn typo thing where I used the word “soon” twice in one sentence like was that really necessary

DUPAINCHIEN

I love how Kim is so obviously bi that even Marinette notices and straight-up tries to set him up with a hot commoner boy

oh noes here comes The Death

Hi Aish Snekwami, I am afraid

god imagine how horrible it must be??? to have something traumatic happen in another timeline but you’re still aware of it in this one so you still suffer the effects even though nothing bad happened in this timeline????

Max shows up for two seconds this chapter to remind everyone that I have an anxiety disorder again and then hecks off, good for him

HOLY FUCK?!?!?! IMAGINE LITERALLY DYING ACTUAL DEATH IN ANOTHER TIMELINE AND EVEN THOUGH YOU SURVIVE IN THIS ONE YOU STILL HAVE TO LIKE. FEEL THE WHOLE TIME YOU’RE DYING OF GODDAMN COBRA VENOM HOLY FUCK WHY DID I MAKE THIS SO ANGSTY

I mean I think I remember writing this when I was on a very heavy painful period which full-on incapacitated me but like even that’s nowhere near as bad as fucking. snake. bite (ye I did some research, it was creepy...)

man this is so evil... I can’t

THIS IS HOW IT FEELS TO DIE

god that’s so haunting ughhhhhhhhh

honestly whenever I stub my toe etc I always think to myself “is this karma for that time I lowkey killed Alix off in chapter 25?” and yeah, it probably is

OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH FOR NOW

#more like the misadventures of aish having anxiety #random stuff #misadventures

[neruran]

Jumping Through Hoops

Series: My Hero Academia

Rating: T

Genre: Gen, Humour

Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Kaminari Denki, brief appearances/mentions of Kirishima Eijirou, Ashido Mina, Sero Hanta, Jirou Kyouka, Bakugou Mitsuki

Other tags: Bakugou Katsuki Swears a Lot, rated for Bakugou’s potty mouth, Future Fic, mildly OOC

Summary: Bakugou walked into work with a sprained wrist one day.

Read on  AO3|FF.net

Inspired by Brooklyn Nine-Nine because I love that show, and that cold open is definitely one of the best. Wrote most of this two days ago at 4am and figured it was funny enough to post.

As the above tags state, this takes place in the future when the Bakusquad have their own hero office together. This is irrelevant to the story, but my headcanon is that the agency is named after Bakugou at his insistence, but they’re all his partners rather than his sidekicks. He throws a fit every time someone calls them his sidekicks because he doesn’t need underlings, they’re all people who stand on equal ground with him. They all point out that maybe if they changed the name to something more general people would stop assuming but nope, Bakugou’s too stubborn. Anyway, on with the fic.

It was an ordinary day in the Bakusquad Hero Office (that wasn’t the actual name, but all the heroes in said office except for Bakugou called it that anyway when the public wasn’t listening). At least, it had been until Bakugou walked in looking his usual Morning Disgruntled (as opposed to his Afternoon Annoyed or his Neutral Frowny Disinterest) and a brace around his left wrist. Immediately everyone became curious, because Bakugou hardly ever got any injuries that would require more than a bandaid and the few times he did usually meant extended hospital stays.

“Whoa, Bakugou, you okay?” Kirishima asked, standing from his desk. “What happened?”

“Fucking nothing, I’m fine,” Bakugou grunted as he passed them all, headed for his office. He was the only one of their group to have his own office room, having won the honour in an arm wrestling tournament when they first moved into the space, just barely beating out Kirishima. The rest of them had their desks gathered in the centre of the main room, something they found to be a blessing for socialization and a curse against focus.

“Yeah Kiri, leave him be,” Kaminari said, leaning in his desk as he watched Bakugou step into the office. “If he says he’s fine then he’s fine…”

The others exchanged looks with each other, not at all convinced by Kaminari’s attempt to not arouse Bakugou’s suspicion, but shrugged it off when Bakugou paid them no mind, kicking the door halfway shut. Once satisfied that Bakugou was going to be distracted, Kaminari turned back around, gesturing for everyone to move in closer.

“So I know our man Bakugou isn’t normally very forthcoming with this kind of stuff, but the fact he doesn’t look any more annoyed than usual and isn’t bragging or complaining about his latest arrest could only mean one thing,” he whispered once his friends and colleagues were huddled in.

“He’s...secretly doing some vigilante work?” Kirishima suggested, unsure.

“No, of course not, it means he probably hurt himself doing something stupid or embarrassing, but he’s trying to act like normal so we don’t get suspicious! Like, I dunno, maybe he hurt himself smiling like a normal person or something.”

“How the heck would he hurt his wrist of all things by smiling?” Ashido asked incredulously.

“I don’t know, Bakugou would find a way!”

“Maybe he just took up a new sport or something?” Jirou - who wasn’t part of their crew ordinarily, having her own hero office, but she was collaborating with Sero on a case that week - piped in.

“Like what? Last I heard, there hasn’t been anything called Murderball invented yet, and you really think he wouldn’t brag about a hard-won injury in something like that?” Sero countered.

Jirou shrugged. “Just a suggestion.”

“Oi, dipshits.” They all turned to see Bakugou standing just outside his office, glaring at them. Evidently they hadn’t heard the door creak open in their distraction. “I’m not fucking deaf, I can hear you just fine in my office.”

Kirishima was the only one who at all looked sheepish at being called out for gossipping; Sero, Jirou, Kaminari, and Ashido meanwhile all mimed varying degrees of innocence.

Rolling his eyes, Bakugou stepped closer, holding up his wrist. “Before you start getting some other dumbass ideas, an asshole plowed into me while I was walking home yesterday and I sprained my wrist when I fell over. Wasn’t an emergency and it’s been a stupidly slow week with work so I couldn’t get an appointment to have it healed until the day after tomorrow. Fucking simple as that,” he explained, storming over to the coffee maker and pouring himself a cup. “Didn’t think it was relevant to anything you idiots were supposed to be doing, so I wasn’t assed to explain.” Coffee poured, he turned back to the group, glaring. “Get your asses in gear. Since I can’t use my quirk with my left hand for the next 48 hours unless I want to make the sprain worse, you fuckers gotta pick up the slack, and anyone who’s sticking around to do paperwork will have me getting on their case to get it done.”

Disappointed with the lack of juicy details and properly cowed, the crowd dispersed, Kirishima and Ashido heading out on patrol while Jirou and Sero took to the break room to discuss their case in private. Kaminari pouted, turning in his chair to start work on some paperwork he was behind on.

“Hey Drooly.”

He looked up to see Bakugou standing beside his desk, expression carefully schooled to be unreadable. Idly Kaminari thought Bakugou’s “blank face” looked a lot like Todoroki’s default expression and had to wonder if that was on purpose. “Uh, yeah man?”

Bakugou did a quick glance from side to side, making sure the others were either gone or not listening before he leaned in closer. “Wanna how how I actually sprained my wrist?”

“Yes,” Kaminari answered immediately, eyes going wide in curious glee. Bakugou was confiding in him? Really? He knew they were good friends, but Bakugou generally chose Kirishima over him to tell secrets. This one must have been something big if he didn’t want to tell his best friend.

Bakugou paused a moment, then spoke quietly and seriously. “I was hula hooping.”

Well, of all the things Kaminari was expecting, that hadn’t been one of them, but boy howdy was it so much better than whatever his imagination could come up with. It couldn’t be real, Bakugou had to be pulling his leg. The disbelief must have showed on his face, because Bakugou pulled out his phone and tapped a couple times before showing it to Kaminari, revealing a picture slideshow of Bakugou indeed hula hooping. Kaminari couldn’t believe his eyes.

“My old hag convinced me to try a class out with her since Dad was busy, and it was actually surprisingly fun and relaxing,” Bakugou continued, swiping through the various pictures, likely taken by his mother. “I mastered all the tricks, because I don’t halfass anything. The pizza toss, the scorpion, you name it.”

This was too good to be true. Kaminari could feel himself practically vibrating in his seat at the sheer amazingness of this information. Oh, wait until the others heard this...Awestruck and so excited, he turned to Bakugou with wide eyes. “Why are you telling me this?” he whispered. Had he finally reached the same friendship level Kirishima was at? Was he beyond it?

Bakugou looked him dead in the eye. “Because no one will ever believe you.” And with those ominous words, he clicked delete on the photo album, destroying the evidence.

Kaminari’s face melted into absolute horror, a strangled sound coming out of his throat; Bakugou grinned deviously. “Nonono!” Kaminari wailed, reaching for the phone to try and reverse the deletion, but Bakugou cackled and moved out of the way. “Ugh! No matter, I can recover it, I’m sure it’s in a cloud somewhere!” Being the resident IT had to be good for something besides giving the shitty printer they’d gotten third-hand a little jolt to make it behave or performing percussive maintenance on the stubborn router.

“Nice try, but I already accounted for that. Those were the only copies that will ever see human eyes ever again,” Bakugou jeered. “Have fun!”

“You sadistic asshole!” Kaminari cried after him, dropping his head to his desk when Bakugou merely cackled harder and disappeared into his office, door properly closing this time. He wanted to sob.

Jirou and Sero poked their heads out of the break room curiously. “What just happened?” Jirou asked, voice confused and suspicious. Few good things happened when Bakugou cackled, she had a right to be wary.

Kaminari did sob, because Bakugou was right; he could explain all he wanted, but without evidence to back up his story, their friends would all think he was just making it up. Bakugou hula hooping, and enjoying it at that? You’d have be on some wacky substance to come up with that one. He regretted explaining to Bakugou how hackers and criminals cover their digital footprints and expunge incriminating information. His only other option was begging Mitsuki, and, well, Bakugou got his twisted sense of humour from somewhere. More than likely if he asked, she’d either withhold the evidence or deny it all together just to see him squirm more, especially if her son discussed his plans beforehand.

The next two days involved Bakugou casually dropping the word “hoop” in random conversations whenever Kaminari was in earshot (and twice managing to sneak “hula” in without raising any eyebrows) and relishing in his friend’s slow descent into madness. When Bakugou finally sauntered into work brace-less, Kaminari knew that he looked far too happy and excited than what was deemed normal, but he found he didn't care.

I'm pretty sure Bakugou is a sadistic troll when he's bored or properly motivated. Poor Kaminari. If you're wondering why he picked Kaminari, it was entirely because he was behind on his paperwork and was the least likely person to be able to convince his mother to send copies. Please leave a comment, kudos, or reblog this post if you enjoyed this!

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #katsuki bakugou #kaminari denki #bakusquad #nerufic #no i don't know why the apostrophes and quotation marks are doing that #i keep trying to fix it but nothing happens

[wrestlinghasmelike-blog]

Monday Night Raw Review: June 25th, 2018

Hey gang, it’s Monday again. I hope everyone had a great day/weekend. Today I got up really early and took my dog out and then watched the season 2 finale of Westworld (which got me FUUUCKED up, but that’s another story lol). 

Based on what my twitter timeline told me about tonight, it might be an interesting show? I’m feeling a little uninspired tonight about the show, personally, but hopefully, the show will prove me wrong.

Let me know what you thought of the show! Was it terrible, or did you like it this week? What was your favorite match? I’d love to hear from you, about anything! Thanks for tuning in and reading and sharing. I’m super close to 100 followers (like 5 away I think!) 

Sweaty Kurt Angle and Baron Corbin opened up the show tonight, only to be interrupted by Roman Reigns and Bobby Lashley, who have sort of an interesting feud brewing. They both believe that they have the tools to beat Lesnar, but apparently, there won’t be a match at Extreme Rules anymore to determine Brock’s new competitor because of his “contract”.

Basically what this means is that Brock didn’t want to wrestle and give his title up, so he called Vince and Vince said ok. Ugh.

I think this is the main reason Raw, and WWE for that matter, has been faltering for the past couple months. There’s no Universal title on the show, which means that no stories can be written around it, and new feuds can’t be built. It sucks, and it’s really starting to affect my watching, as well.

The Revival vs. Lashley/Reigns

This is a rematch from last week. Why do we need to see this again?

The Revival need to prove that they are still relevant, and it’s unfortunate that separate injuries have kept them at bay, and they haven’t really been given a chance to be on TV since their return. This was never a team I saw much of, their NXT days were during the time where I wasn’t watching, but from what I can tell about them today, they hit their peak back in NXT.

This match is just a chance for Bobby and Roman to show off their egos, which Bobby needs, at least. Bobby’s feud with Sami ended at MITB 2 weeks ago, and pushing him into a match with Roman, or Brock, could give Bobby the spotlight he needs. He’s a big guy, always has been, and he needs to be showcased as one.

This match had no momentum going into it, and while the crowd loves to boo Roman whenever they can, they are dead silent otherwise. It’s gone on too long, and either team needs to bring something different to get the show rolling. 

The Revival won with a roll-up on Roman? A little unbelievable? Roman losing on a small package is just hard to fathom, especially against a small guy like Dash Wilder, but at least the match is over. Next, please.

Curtis Axel vs. Woken!Matt Hardy

Ok, wait, why is this a great storyline now? Oh yea, because it’s actually interesting and funny and the superstars are selling it really well. 

But this match is over in a heartbeat before I can say anything else. 

Matt has been putting in time at the gym. He looks great right now. That’s it.

AoP vs. Local Talent

This is not a match AoP needs. Put them in contention for the title, not this.

We haven’t seen this team since their debut after Mania and I’m really wondering why! They were so dominating in NXT, and they’ve fallen short on Raw. I’m trying to remember if one of them was injured in their time off, but I can’t find anything that says so. 

Titus Worldwide came out, too. Does anyone care?

FINN MAKING FUN OF BARON OOOH

...but I’m not a fan of that tag match. I know Finn is just going to lose again anyway, right? 

Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya

In a super long segment before this match took place, Alexa and her friend Mickie James went off about Alexa not getting respect and thanking god for Ronda’s suspension. There was a long video package during this promo that took me out of the program, and it was basically just Alexa and Mickie picking on the crowd. Whatever.

Natalya came out with Nia and the match started.

A lot of weird moves and botches from Alexa. She did that standing double monkey flip over Nattie, and her knees are supposed to hit Nattie in the belly, but Alexa’s knees were nowhere near her belly at all!

Natalya was really putting on a clinic, debuting all of her best moves and ultimately, getting herself a win over the undeserved champ. 

Put Nattie back in the title race. 

6-Woman Tag- Riott Squad vs. Banks/Moon/Bayley

Ooh boy, are we actually getting the feud people have been asking for?

Last week, things between Bayley and Sasha finally exploded the way everyone had been hoping for, and this week, Kurt Angle says they have one more chance to get on the same page. 

Sasha does the Meteora too much. That’s my first thought.

Ember Moon is fantastic in the ring. God I love her so much. 

Personally, I’m tired of seeing the Riott Squad. All three women need to wrestle in singles matches more. The singles matches that they do always end with the other members of the team charging in and either distract the ref or attack the other woman in the match. It’s so played out, it’s tiring! It’s a trope that’s been played out too much.

Banks took the loss for her team, and Bayley straight up attacked her and threw her around the ring. The crowd loves it! Personally, I do, too! I feel like Bayley is always too much, but a heel Bayley is just what her character needs to find her way back to the top of the division. I think this has been a long time coming from Bayley. She had to endure years of being the weakest of the four horsewomen and being second best, and now she’s ready to show what she’s got!

The ONLY thing that ruined that moment was when her music played her out. It’s too preppy and happy for her recent actions.

No Way Jose vs. Mojo Rawley

I don’t care. I just don’t. And WWE is not doing a good job of getting me to care.

Strowman/Owens vs. Balor/Corbin

Well, after losing last week, Braun was tired of teaming with Finn and has decided to team with Kevin Owens tonight. 

As I’ve probably mentioned a lot over the past few weeks, I love Kevin Owens right now. His unofficial feud with Braun is hilarious, and Kevin sells it so well.

And in typical fashion, I am in tears while Finn makes his entrance. Maybe I should make a post about him soon. It’d probably be long as hell.

FINN ALSO LOOKS SO TAN?!?

I am also really loving Corbin’s new look. His hair needed to go so badly, and the suits that he wears are really doing better things for his character. I don’t love the fact that he’s basically corporate Kane, but it’s fine for now. 

Kevin tagging in Braun was so good. He just smacked him in the chest and ran. It was such a cartoon moment and I loved it.

Finn is finally being allowed in this match after Baron decides that he’s had enough. Kevin steals the momentum away from Finn and keeps him in a fierce chin lock. 

Braun just literally squished Finn in a corner and Finn just melted out of the ring. My god.

This match kind of exploded as Finn and Corbin couldn’t get along. They ended up fighting all the way up the ramp and got disqualified. I mean, at least Finn didn’t take the pin. I just wish they’d let him win a match for once.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler for the IC Title

After suffering a hard loss last week to Ziggler after a distraction from Drew McIntyre, Seth Rollins is looking to win back his title from Dolph.

I personally love this new angle. Dolph has been out of it for a while now, and the IC title scene is a great place for him to stay. Remember that feud he had with Miz about a year and a half ago? That was the greatest thing ever for Ziggler and Miz. 

This current storyline is rumored to lead to a huge battle between Drew and Dolph, which is set to skyrocket Drew to a top position. It’s mostly because Vince loves Drew, but it’s also because Drew is a massive star now, and he belongs at the top. I’d love to see a program with him and Kevin, or him and Braun, or Roman, or even Finn. 

Rollins seems to be controlling most of the match so far, but how long will it take for Dolph to fight back?

Not long it seems as Seth focuses on Drew for too long, allowing Dolph to get up tackle Seth. This is where Dolph’s collegiate-style will come into play as he finds a way to tucker out Seth Rollins.

This is exactly the kind of pace Ziggler likes. He keeps his opponents on the ground and wears them out with a headlock or a chinlock.

MICHAEL COLE JUST SAID THAT ROLLINS AND FINN ARE THE TWO OF THE BEST IN SHAPE WRESTLERS ON THE ROSTER WHO CAN HOLD A MATCH AND WHO HAVE BEEN PUTTING IN THE MOST WORK THANKS COLE YOU DID GOOD

Anytime Seth looks like he’s favoring a leg, I get super nervous. An injured Seth would not be good for business right now. I know he’s probably just selling it, but stilllll you guyssss

Rollins just reversed a whip on Dolph and he launched him into the turnbuckle, blasting Dolph into the corner. For a moment, it looked like Seth finally found his footing, but Dolph sent him over the top rope and crashing to the floor, hurting Seth’s wrist on the impact.

The match gets more aggressive as it continues, and the crowd is doing their signature “this is awesome” chant, which is something that Dolph hasn’t heard about his matches in probably a long ass time. 

Seth was about to win the match, an incredible match by thE WAY, and Drew came back and pulled the ref out to stop the count. Dolph will retain because of the DQ. Dammmnnnnn

...Roman made his way down to stop the attack on Seth. Are we getting Drew and Roman?? I’m here for it. It better not be a tag match next week, though.

I feel like the last half of the show went by really fast. I guess I’m kind of thankful for that, considering there were a lot of filler moments and matches during the show. I was fine with Raw tonight, no strong feelings either way. I don’t know if I had a favorite match honestly. Did you? Let me know!

Tune in for more!

Casey

#wwe #monday night raw #wrestling #wrestle #kurt angle #baron corbin #the revival #bobby lashley #roman reigns #curtis axel #bo dallas #b team #woken matt hardy #woken #bray wyatt #authors of pain #alexa bliss #mickie james #nia jax #natalya #riott squad #sasha banks #bayley #ember moon #braun strowman #kevin owens #finn balor #seth rollins #dolph ziggler #drew mcintyre

[ilovereadingandilovebreathing]

The Great Ukulele Caper

Sorry my titles are cheesy lol 

So this was supposed to be cute and funny, but it got out of control, so prepare yourselves for the post-”Moving Forward” feels cuz here. they. are. That video wrecked me and I needed an outlet, okay? Okay. 

So here, and I am actually sorry. 

Also, this is my first time writing a fic with Thomas in it, so sorry if I get him all wrong or step on any toes. I don’t usually write him in, but I felt like maybe it was okay in this case? Either way, I did my best.

Summary: Thomas’s ukulele is missing, and the only place he hasn’t checked yet is the MindScape…

Characters: Thomas, Patton, Roman, Virgil, Logan (no pairings)

Word Count: 3,280 (my longest SS fic yet. oops.)

Warnings: “Fix You” by Coldplay is back, and I’m. Not. Sorry. It’s too #relevant to ignore, and I have a lot of emotions. Other than that, no real warnings that I can think of besides angst. 

Tags will be in the reblog because Tumblr hates me.

ALSO I’m SO sorry the Read More keeps disappearing!! I forget that every time I edit something on mobile, that vanishes. SO sorry to everyone who had to deal with that.  

He’d been searching all afternoon, but he just couldn’t find it anywhere. Not on the couch, in the couch, or under the couch. Not in his bed, on his bed, or under his bed. Not in the laundry room or the kitchen; he’d even checked the stairway! 

Thomas just couldn’t find his ukulele anywhere, so he mustered all the mental power he could spare and transported himself to the MindScape. 

When he appeared in the living room nearly identical to his own, Thomas immediately spotted Patton sitting cross-legged on the floor, happily humming “Winnie the Pooh” while coloring a picture of the same eponymous bear. 

“Hey Patton?” 

The Moral Side’s head jerked up, for he hadn’t heard Thomas enter. Once he had a second to process, a characteristic grin broke out across the Side’s face as he replied, “Yeah, Thomas? What’s up, kiddo?”

“Have you seen my uke anywhere? I thought I left it on the couch in my living room, but I can’t find it.”

“Mmmmm nope, sorry, kiddo, I haven’t seen it! Maybe Roman has it? He’s the one most likely to be involved in a capo’ed kidnapping!”

“True.” Thomas chuckled a bit. “So, which way to Roman’s room?”

“Up the stairs and to the left; his door is the one right there, on the left side! Good luck, kiddo!”

“Thanks, Pat, see you around.” Thomas gave the waving side a two-finger salute as he mounted the staircase. “Weird how this place looks just like my house, but is just different enough…” Thomas mused as he approached the Royal’s door. From behind the thick wood, Thomas heard the smooth tones of a familiar little instrument being strummed to the tune of “Once Upon a Dream.”

“Uh, Roman.” Thomas tapped on the Creative Side’s door, opening it slowly as the music quieted a bit. 

“Greetings, Thomas!” Roman declared, turning to face the doorway with the ukulele strapped around his neck, held in place by a bright red strap. He played the ending notes of the song, gently singing out, “The way you did once…upon…a…dreeeeeam…”

“Roman!” Thomas exclaimed, throwing his arms out. “I’ve been looking for that everywhere! If you want to borrow my ukulele-”

“Whoa, there, my Confidently Confused King,” Roman threw up his arms defensively, keeping Thomas at arms-length from the instrument. “This is my ukulele. I conjured it up after you bought yours. Well, it took a few tries to get it just perfect, but-”

“Wait, Roman, you made this?” Thomas stared in awe.

“Why, yes, I did!” Roman beamed with pride. “I had to study yours first, of course, because I love its tonality and wanted to emulate its sound perfectly! Although, I did make a few design changes…” He gestured to the sides of the instrument, intricately carved into designs of a castle, dragon, shield, and sword. 

“Roman, that’s incredible! It’s beautiful, and it does sound exactly like mine. I thought it was mine when I heard it in the hallway, actually.”

“Delightful!” Roman exclaimed, clapping his hands. “Though, I am sorry yours is missing. Did you ask Patton, perhaps?”

“I did.” Thomas sighed. “He hasn’t seen it; he told me to come talk to you.

“I’m afraid I don’t have it either, compadre.” Roman smiled sadly. “I can’t imagine where it could be. It’s not like Logan could see any use for it…perhaps Virgil? He does love music, even if it’s that Chemical Romance garbage.”

“I guess it’s possible. I have been meaning to check in on him and make sure he’s doing okay more often…” 

“It’s settled then! Thomas’s Quest for his Magical Instrument is underway! Now he will head into the darkest, most dangerous, most-”

“Roman.” Thomas warned.

“Most….enigmatic corner of his mind.” Roman grinned sheepishly. “I apologize. Old habits die hard, and all of that. His room is at the end of this hallway, the final door on the right side!” He gestured grandly before strumming his own ukulele again, the beginning notes of “How Far I’ll Go” from Moana filling the air as Thomas took his leave.

“Best of luck to you, Brave Thomas! I surely hope you find your ukulele before it’s too late.”

“Thanks, Roman.” Thomas smiled, shutting the door. “No need to be so dramatic, though.” 

“There’s always room for flair!” Roman declared. “I’ve been-”

Thomas shook his head slowly as he turned from the Royal’s room and headed toward the end of the hall; the “DO NOT DISTURB” sign attached firmly to the door was an obvious signal that he was in the right place.

“Virgil?” Thomas knocked on the Anxious Side’s door, frowning when he did not receive an answer. “Virgil!” Thomas called louder, knocking harder and turning the door handle. It was unlocked, and for an instant Thomas felt bad for entering Virgil’s room without really getting permission, but that faded when he realized the Anxious Side wasn’t even in his room.

“Hmm, weird.” Thomas thought to himself. “Maybe he went out for some reason…to another part of the MindSpace I can’t get to…” He shrugged and pulled the door shut. Maybe Logan knew where the other Side had gotten off to, so Thomas started toward the opposite hallway, smiling as he passed Roman’s room, the Moana tune still in full swing within.

Thomas approached one door, realizing instantly that it must be Patton’s, if the “Come On In!” sign written in bright marker was any indication. Thomas continued down the hall, coming to a halt outside the door that could only have been Logan’s. Hand on the doorknob, Thomas’s jaw became slack as soft tones slid from beneath the door. A voice, similar to his own but quieter, with a slight rasp to it, was singing the bridge of “Fix You” by Coldplay. The voice cracked on a higher note, and Virgil’s familiar, frustrated tone bit out, “Crap. So close. We made it so far!”

“I apologize. Do I need to transpose the song into a lower key to suit your range?” The Logical Side replied evenly, sounding patient in spite of Virgil’s outburst.

“No, no, it’s fine.” Thomas could hear the bite in Virgil’s tone, even when it was muffled by the door. “I just….Ugh. We’ve been working on this for days, and I really thought we had it by now…”

“We have worked through most of the final bridge, so, comparatively speaking, we are much closer to the end than we were when we started.”

“Of course, Logan…” Virgil grunted. “I just need a second…” 

Thomas suddenly realized Virgil’s voice was closer to him than it had been, but before he could retreat, the door was flung open and Virgil stood there, eyes bulging and mouth slightly agape. 

“H-Hey, there, Virgil.” Thomas waved awkwardly. “I was just looking for my-”

“Your ukulele.” Virgil grumbled out. He quickly turned back to Logan, who held out the instrument toward the Anxious Side, and gently took the ukulele from his hands. Virgil turned back to Thomas, peering through his bangs as he apologized.  “Sorry we took it. We would’ve made our own, but creativity isn’t our department, you know? Roman could make one, but we didn’t want him to get involved and try to steal the show.” He held out the stringed instrument to Thomas. “Sorry, again. We won’t take it again-”

“No, please do!” Thomas held up his hands, refusing to take the ukulele. “You sounded amazing, Virgil. I had no idea you have such a great voice.”

“Well…I mean, I never said I’m not a singer. I just….don’t like to do it around Sir Sing-A-Lot, you know? That’s kind of his thing, and it’d just be….embarrassing.” 

“Well, like I said, I think you have a great voice! And Logan, were you playing the ukulele?”

“Well, though I said I am not much of a singer, that does not mean I am not much of an instrumentalist. There is a lot more than creativity that goes into playing an instrument; certain types of mathematics and precise muscle movements play a large role, as well. It’s a challenge that I quite enjoy, actually.” The Logical Side blushed just a bit while gesturing toward a corner of his room Thomas could not see. “I have tried a few instruments, but the size, shape, and sound of the ukulele are by far the most pleasing to me.” 

“I can tell; you sounded amazing from what I could hear. You’re very good at finger picking!”

“As I stated, the precise muscle movements are enjoyable.”

“So I see.” Thomas smiled, looking back to Virgil whose head was still ducked in embarrassment. “So, why were you two practicing in here? I would assume for fun, but you said you didn’t want Roman involved or he’d ‘steal the show.’”

“Right, well….Obviously, you know Patton’s been a little….off lately, what with the whole…break-up and all.” Virgil swallowed. “We’ve been trying to get him to open up to us. When we’re all in sync and working together, things go a lot smoother, from actual thought stuff to every day stuff, but Patton’s still been hiding from us.”

“He’s down in the sitting room right now.” Thomas remarked.

“Right, but if we were to go down there, he’d start acting too happy or try to do something so that we couldn’t ask him if he’s doing alright. He’s still hurting, Thomas, he’s hurting a lot, and we really want him to know that he can open up to us and be honest with us and that we care about him and want to make sure he’s okay, so….”

“During the last couple of days, Virgil and I have been preparing to perform “Fix You” for Patton.” Logan chimed in, giving a worked up Virgil a second to catch his breath.  

“Right.” Virgil sighed. “We figured the words were pretty perfect for what’s been going on lately, and we hoped maybe it would….I don’t know, break him in a way? Maybe it’d finally get him to break down and be honest with us for once.” 

“That’s actually not a bad idea.” Thomas replied thoughtfully. “Music always makes me really emotional, especially if it’s the right song, and since Patton is my emotional core….this could work. And, if you want, I can teach you a couple of breathing exercises to get you to that high note.” Thomas smiled as Virgil blushed, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “But like I said, you sounded great, Virge. Patton will love it, regardless.”

“I sure hope so.” The Side muttered, turning back to his Logical companion. “Well, we could use all the help we can get, so if you’re willing, I’ll definitely take you up on those breathing exercises.”

“Great.” Thomas walked past Virgil as the Side shut the bedroom door, taking a seat in Logan’s vacant desk chair.

“Alright, Teach.” Virgil sat on Logan’s bed, across from the other Side, and took a deep breath. “Let’s get down to it.”

——-

“Hey, Dad?”

Patton’s head, once again, jerked up when he realized someone else was in the room. “Hey there, Virge, and other kiddos!” The father-figure grinned up at the three standing before him. “What’s up?”

“We, uh….We….Ah, man, guys, this is a stupid idea-”

“We know that you have been struggling as of late.” Logan cut in, placing his empty hand firmly on Virgil’s left forearm. “Made obvious after our last two filming sessions, so Virgil had an idea to try to remedy your emotional condition.” Thomas pulled the ukulele from its hiding place behind his back, handed it to Logan, and moved to take a seat behind Patton on the couch. “Virgil and I have been practicing our own musical rendition of a song we believe might provide a sort of proverbial balm to your…”

“Burned heart.” Virgil finished, breathing deeply before giving Logan a thumbs up. 

The Logical Side slowly began picking the opening chords to “Fix You,” and Virgil breathed out and in again, closing his eyes as he softly began singing, “When you try your best, but you don’t succeed…”

Thomas smiled at the pair, his heart picking up a bit when he looked down and realized how Patton had stiffened on the floor, his coloring book fully abandoned. The Moral Side sat stock still, his eyes fixated on the standing pair as they continued to softly serenade him. 

“When you love someone, but it goes to waste….”

Thomas chanced a glance down at Patton, but the Moral Side remained resolute, a look of what could almost be described as determination glinting in his eyes. He’d caught on, it seemed, to what their plan could be, and was refusing to give in. 

Great. If there was one emotion Thomas didn’t want to be battling right now, it was his own stubbornness. 

Still, Virgil and Logan played on, hoping the fruits of their labor would flourish rather than spoil, wasted. 

Patton made it through the chorus, and Thomas began to lose hope when the Moral Side remained resolute through the second verse. He really thought one of the two would get to him, but he’d apparently underestimated Patton’s ability to repress unwanted feelings. As they reached the bridge, Thomas sighed, accepting defeat and slumping into himself. Well, maybe they didn’t get Patton to break, but at least the other two had grown, in a way. Virgil was singing his heart out, perfectly using the breathing techniques Thomas had taught him to belt out the high notes in the bridge with all the passion he could muster. 

“Tears stream down your face when you lose something you cannot replace-”

Suddenly, Thomas felt something. 

Like the first drops of rain falling after the clouds have hung overhead for days, gathering and gathering their darkness and dew. The first sliver of pain, of sadness, of sorrow, cut right through his heart, and he knew the onslaught was to come. 

Thomas clenched his jaw, feeling the wave of emotions sweeping through Patton overcome him as the painfully relevant lyrics were, as hoped, the straw that finally broke the camel’s back. Patton’s shoulders shook violently as he drew his hands over his face, choking back gut-wrenching sobs as the other Sides continued on, steeling themselves against responding to the Moral Side’s emotional outpouring. Slowly, and ever so tenderly, Thomas placed a hand on Patton’s back, and the emotionally-wrought Side collapsed under his touch. Thomas was on the floor in an instant, protectively holding his emotions in his arms as they wept together, finally, blessedly, coming to terms with what the Moral Side had been holding back for so long. 

Virgil and Logan finished out the song, and Thomas looked up through his tears, smiling gratefully at the other two as the bittersweet release of pent up emotions flooded through him. It hurt. It hurt more than anything Thomas had felt in a long time, but he was so grateful for it. He didn’t want to go back to the facade they’d dealt with for too long, and he knew the others didn’t either. Virgil and Logan came and sat behind Thomas and Patton, placing their own hands on the others backs in a sign of comfort and solidarity, and, looking up into their faces, Thomas realized the other two has flushed, wet cheeks, too.

Patton’s anguished cries must have made it up the stairs and past Roman’s own noise somehow, for the Royal was suddenly at the bottom of the stairs, sword drawn and eyes wide at the scene before him. Slowly, he sheathed his weapon, face crumbling with relief and sorrow at seeing his beloved companions in such a state. He moved to sit beside Virgil, leaning his head on the Anxious Side’s shoulder and allowing himself to break, as well, taking the shaking hand that was offered to him as he wept. 

The five remained this way until Patton’s cries subsided, his body slumping against Thomas from exhaustion.

“How you feelin’, buddy?” Thomas asked quietly, rubbing the Side’s back as he followed Virgil’s instruction to breathe. 

“Not great, kiddo. Not too good.” Patton sniffed and ran a hand under his nose. “But….better than before. It’s a process, right? Getting better, m-moving f-forward….it’s a p-process.” He sobbed out, still trying to get control of himself by breathing. 

“It sure is, Padre, but we’ll be here for you every step of the way.” Roman smiled shakily, patting the Moral Side’s shoulder. 

“Definitely.” Logan chimed in, wiping the remnants of moisture from his own eyes. “Whenever you might need us, we are here. We are with you, in solidarity.”

“We wanna help you, Dad.” Virgil mumbled, pulling his hand out of Roman’s death grip to ruffle Patton’s hair as he’d done so many times to the Anxious Side. “So let us. We can take this thing on together. You don’t have to be alone. We got your back.”

The Moral Side breathed in, and whispered, “Thank you all, so much….It’s…it’s been so hard…I just….I didn’t want to bring you all down. I wanted to protect you….from me.”

“Patton.” Thomas released his hold on the Moral Side, prompting him to sit up and look him in the eyes. “You don’t have to protect us. From any part of you. We’re all part of the same unit, and we all have to work together to function at all. We need everyone to be willing to give it all to each other and for each other, and that includes you. Let us help you and work along side you. We’ll get better together. Okay?”

“That….that sounds good.” Patton smiled, wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks. 

“Well, I’m beat.” Virgil sighed, trying to wiggle out from between Logan and Roman. “Glad we finally got you back, Dad.” He stood over Patton and reached out a hand which the other Side took gratefully, shocked when the Anxious Side pulled him into a tight hug that was over before he could process it. “Love you, Dad.” Virgil whispered before vanishing into his own room. 

“I will have to exit, as well.” Logan declared, carefully laying the ukulele on the couch behind Thomas. “I still have much to get done.” The Logical Side rose, placing his hand on Patton’s shoulder before pulling him into a surprisingly not stiff (and longer than Virgil’s) embrace. “Take care of yourself, Patton.” The Logical Side admonished as he released the other. “We only have one you, and we want you at your best. Because we love you.” Logan threw him a final smile before also disappearing into his own realm of the MindScape. 

“Well.” Thomas looked at Roman, still on the couch, and Patton, staring up the stairs toward Virgil and Logan’s rooms. 

“I think I’ll stay down here with Padre, here.” Roman replied softly. “I think some….one-on-one time is in order. Sorting things out for good sounds like a grand idea right about now.” He gestured toward the empty space on the couch, smiling when Patton relented and sat across from him.

“Not a bad idea. Considering everything else…we might as well.” The Moral Side sighed, turning to Thomas.

“We’ll be okay here, kiddo. You can go on home now. Glad you managed to find your ukulele.” The emotional Side sniffed and smiled.

“Yeah, me, too, Pat.” Thomas gave the pair a soft smile and a wave as he picked up his ukulele and vanished out of the MindScape, re-materializing on his own living room couch. Sighing deeply, Thomas laid his little instrument on the coffee table, settled back on the couch, and closed his eyes, willing his mind to do as it pleased as his Creativity and Morality worked themselves out.   

All of my Sanders Sides fanfics

#Sanders Sides #Thomas Sanders #Sanders Sides Fic #Sanders Sides Fanfic #Thomas sanders fanfic #Patton Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Roman Sanders #Logan Sanders #I'm not sorrryyyyyyyy #but i am a little bit #but mostly not #this was supposed to be so cute and fluffy but i rUINED IT with the ANGST #tsfanfics

[oaxacancookies]

a #cluecrewquestionnaire

Rules: copy and paste, answer the questions, tag 10 mutuals to do the same!

1. What is your favorite Nancy Drew game and why?

Secret of Shadow Ranch--I received it as gift when I was 10 so the nostalgia of it being my first game makes it my favorite. I never get tired of replaying it!

2. Have you played all 32 games in the series? If not, which ones haven’t you played? If yes, which one did you play first?

Not quite!! The only ones I haven’t played are LIE and MED 

3. What is your favorite line from any character in the series?

It’s so silly but Tommy’s “BAKED POTATO!” line in CUR makes me crack up EVERY TIME. That and the way Wade says, “Ayyydios” in GTH. 

4. If you could change the ending to any game, which one would it be?

Probably White Wolf, the snowmobile chase is just soo boring. 

5. Which game is your least favorite, and why?

Ugh, I think FIN. I just replayed it recently and all of the characters are so sleazy, it’s so easy to get stuck, and I just found it to be a frustrating game. 

6. Which character is your favorite? Why?

Of the recurring characters, I love Joe. One-time characters, Wade Thornton and Alexei Markovic. I love Joe’s personailty and Wade and Alexei feel like really fleshed-out characters to me. Alexei is really easy to sympathize with and I enjoy his wit SO MUCH, and Wade is so personable that it’s hard not to like him.  Also I wish Franklin Rose was my boss in real life. 

7. Which character is your least favorite? Why?

Simone from FIN, hands down. Everything she says and does makes me want to smack her. Linda Penvellyn is a close second because she’s just a huge bitch ALL THE DAMN TIME. 

8. How do you feel about the whole Nancy/Ned vs. Nancy/Frank situation? Do you ship her with someone else? Who, and why?

So, I’m not suuuper immersed in ND beyond the games so just based on them, I’m really torn between these two pairings! I’m usually a fan of sticking with canon but tbh, I reeeeally like the idea of her with Frank!! 

9. Do you have any fun headcanons about any of the games or characters?

Just certain characters being LGBT. I like to think that Logan and Bess are still dating :))))

10. If you could visit any of the locations of the games, which ones would they be and why?

Oh my god, SO MANY OF THEM. Wickford Castle, Deception Island (I have family who live on the San Juan Islands and lemme tell you--HER did an incredibly job with DDI), Shadow Ranch, Blackmoor Manor, the train ride of Blue Moon Canyon, Waverly Academy, and Thornton Hall. Just because I know I would love all of the settings in real life (and in some cases, I already know I do). Did you know GTH is based off the Wormsloe historic site in Savannah??? I visited last year and it was incredible. 

11. Did you read any of the original Nancy Drew books? If yes, do you like them? If no, would you consider reading one?

I’ve read quite a few of them but it’s been a whiiiiile. I did enjoy them! It’s fun reading Nancy in the cadences of another time. 

12. What is one thing any good detective can’t live without?

In today’s modern times? I gotta go with a phone. Where else are you gonna have a camera, internet, resources, contacts, etc. all in one place? 

13. Which game had the best soundtrack?

Oh boy. First of all, I LOVE listening to mixes of the soundtracks when I’m studying or editing! As a sucker for nostalgia and cello, I think my favorite has to be WAC, CUR, or SHA

14. What is one thing you wish HER would’ve included in any of the games (a conversation, interaction, location, feature, etc.)?

A couple things: I wish the storms Bet and Ed mention in SHA were relevant and I wish the horses were a little more interactive. In CAR, I wish you could ride more of the rides! Sometimes I wish Nancy had the ability to be way more of a bitch to certain characters. 

15. Do you have any ideas for a future game? What is it?

I was just thinking that’d I’d give just about anything to have a game set in London or to meet Savannah Woodham and help her somehow!! 

16. How long does it take you to finish a game from start to finish?

Totally depends on the game. Sometimes it’s a few hours, sometimes it’s a day or two. 

17. Did any of the games scare you? If yes, which ones? If no, why?

Mmm, just certain scenes. As a kid, most of DOG scared me. The yurei in SAW makes me jump to this day and GTH is spooky but didn’t actually scare me. 

18. Why did you join the Nancy Drew fandom here on Tumblr?

I was delighted to discover that the fandom even exists and I really miss being able to discuss the games with other people (my only friend who played them growing up with me can’t understand why I still play them). The niche memes are really what pulled me in ;)

19. What is your favorite Nancy Drew joke (from in-game or even floating around the internet)?

Probably all of Nancy’s little sayings when you try to check off a task you haven’t completed. 

20. Who is someone in the clue crew you’ve always wanted to get to know?

I haven’t been around here long enough to have someone to tag! 

21. What are three unpopular opinions you hold about the games?

I don’t know that I would consider this an unpopular opinion but sometimes the games feel a little insensitive in the sense that Nancy is just butting in to someone else’s very personal affairs. Like in SAW, she solves the mystery and yeah, Miwako and Yumi probably wouldn’t have ever solved it together, but Nancy finds this secret compartment that is 100% not meant for her eyes and she takes all the stuff from it??? Like, involve the people whose lives you’re disrupting a little bit more! I don’t know. It bothers me enough sometimes to dispel the fantasy of the game. 

22. Do you have any fun theories about any of the games?

I’ve been thinking about this for ages and I can’t think of anything, so, no lol 

23. Who was your favorite animal character featured in the games?

Loulou! Her little taglines go through my head all the damn time. 

24. Do other people in your life know about your love for Nancy Drew?

A few close friends and my family, but I don’t necessarily advertise my near-obsession with the games as an adult hahaha

25. How long have you been playing these games?

Almost 15 years to the day! 

#misc #clue crew #about me #questionnaire

[eviedrae]

Self-Editing: Guest Blogger Deana Birch bakes us a writing cake

Hello, my little bunnies and thank you Evie for handing over the reins of your brilliant blog to, moi, as Miss Piggy would say. And I say it with a toss of my non-curly and need-to-be colored locks.

 In discussing the subject of my guest blog, Evie gave me one goal. Help Writers. And I want you all to know I am so, so, so about that. As is she. That’s why I love my Evie. I dipped into my relevant pool and came up with, dun dun dun…

 Self-editing. Because I just edited the heck out of my next book.

 No! Don’t leave. I know you hate it. It can be hard. It can be crushing to delete those 400 words that are the funniest part of you book. It can even make you cry or worse, avoid.

 But let me tell you, bunnies, editing WILL make your book better. Editing will make your writing stronger. And editing will make your story viable.

  “Ugh… but I don’t wanna.” Too flipping bad. You must. Sorry and totally not sorry. Writing your book is like cracking the eggs for your cake. It is mother flipping step one, bunnies. Step One. Editing is all the important steps you take to get that cake in the oven, bake, and then finally cool. Marketing is slicing it and choosing which plate to serve it on, which I won’t go into in this post.

 Step One: You’ve cracked the eggs. Good start. Sadly, three eggs, no matter how you beat them, will not make a cake.

 I really hope you like your story, because you will need to read it a lot. Over and over. And then six more times. So, before anyone lays eyes on your raw eggs, here are the big picture things I suggest:

 Look at your main characters

 If they have their own POV, they need a proper arc. An internal flaw that they overcome and an external goal that they either succeed or fail at. This is the heart of every story. The hero’s journey. Write down where they start and where they end. If they are in the same place at the end with either, you will need to address that. Ideally, this should be done before you write the story, but I know there are a lot of pantsers out there and this is a good way to check yourself. If you want to reel in your wild happy pants one day and try outlining (DO IT!!!) read this book.

 Check your word count

  Not just the overall word count that should fit in your genre, your word count in each chapter. Try and keep it as consistent as you can. This is one of those rules you can break once you know it’s a rule. Personally, I like my chapters around 2,500 until the last 25% of the book where I trim them down to less than 2000. If you are writing in multiple POVs, check the balance. In dual, my editor likes for me to aim at 50/50 but doesn’t slap my wrist (she would never do that, she is a walking godsend) unless it goes more than 60/40. If you have more than two POVs, ask yourself if you really, really, really need that one chapter from the villain’s perspective. Balance and revise as necessary.

  Analyze the voice of the book and make it pop

 This is the mood you are going for. Is it dark? Is it a RomCom? Do you want to pull at heartstrings? Go chapter by chapter and make sure that voice is in there.

 Scrutinize the voice of your POVs

 This is essential if you are writing more than one. They must be different. Their internal thoughts must reflect how they actually speak in dialogue. I like giving my characters a unique word that only they use, but a tick they have is also super effective here.

 Break down each chapter

  I know, I’m sorry. I really am. This is a lot of work. But remember, we’re making a cake, not an omelet. In each chapter, whichever character’s POV it’s in, there must be a goal. It doesn’t have to be big. It can be as simple as putting laundry in the dryer. But along the way their goal is interrupted by ACTION and the character must deal with whatever roadblock comes along. Then, they think back to the goal and either complete it or not. I call this “turning left.” We’re chugging along, happy in our little plan and then BOOM, we have to turn left. I still want to get my laundry in the dryer, but my dog just puked on my shoes and I need to deal with that before I can do anything else. That’s not fiction by the way, it actually just happened to me. The struggle is real with an English Bulldog.

 But I digress… Chapter action / goals is really important because having your hero sitting alone in a café reflecting on what has already happened is boring AF. #NotSorry The majority of audible groans I’ve made while reading occur when writers take me on long inner thought journeys. Side note to more than one POVers: Please don’t write the same scene from another POV. We’ve been there and done that. Forward Progress in the plot, always. Except for those roadblocks.

 Please don’t hate me, but I’m going to ask you to:

evaluate the subject of your sentences

 Three sentences in a row that start with “He” are going to bore your reader. Avoid repletion at all costs. Even in the same kind of subject. Two in a row is fine. Three in a row is snooze. I’m actually really sorry about this one, but it had to be said. The good news is you won’t do this in your next story. I promise.

 That was a lot of work, I know. I just did it. But hopping along to progress! We’re almost ready to put our cake in the oven and then send a taste to our CP’s or beta readers. Don’t know what those are? Here’s a link about it when someone else was kind enough to let me monopolize their blog for my own musings on writing.

  The big heavy lifting is done, now it’s time to make good use of the search function of whatever it is you wrote your brilliant book in.

 Shall we talk about adverbs? I like adverbs and probably abuse “softly.” But they are part of our language so as writers we are allowed to use them. There was a big push to edit them all out of our manuscripts and I think the intention got lost in the panic. It’s how you use them that matters. Try and avoid them in your dialogue tags at all costs. I just read a snippet that was “…, he said honestly.” Does that mean the person usually lies? Now I’m doubting everything out of that character’s mouth. I like it when adverbs are used in a voicey way. For example: His ridiculously stupid dimples. That being said, search “ly” in your document and make sure if you’re using adverbs, it’s for extra punch and not lazy writing.

 Side note: Avoiding adverbs can put you into a “gave” trap. I know because the word gave bundled me into its net for a long time. Let’s say you found the adverb, “quickly.” And you decide to replace it. It used to read: “quickly tapped” and you change it to “gave a quick tap.” I’m not saying you can’t do this, I’m saying don’t do it to ALL your adverbs.

  This is my all-time favorite link for editing. I go back to it again and again.

 Our cake is almost in the oven, we just need to handle our own personal crutch words. This is different for every writer and fortunately there is a brilliant web-site to identify them.

 Pop your book baby in there and edit away, my bunnies.

 Ahhhh…. The cake is ready to bake and cool. That gives us plenty of time to read our manuscript OUT LOUD. Yep. Remember how I said you better love your story? This is one of those times. Speaking the words you’ve written will help you catch your echoes, find those jokes that fall flat, spot the extra word that didn’t get deleted, and tighten your overall pacing. Doing this changed my life and my book.

 There are many other things I could go on about, gerunds, filter words, or weird descriptions of body parts. But my work here is done.

 Let’s all eat cake! 🍰

  If this was helpful, follow me on Twitter;

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Or show me the ultimate form of love and buy my book!

Available at Amazon and other digital retailers.

  About deana:

Contemporary romance and erotica writer Deana Birch was named after her father’s first love, who just so happened not to be her mother. Born and raised in the Midwest, she made stops in Los Angeles and New York before settling in Europe where she lives with her own blueeyed Happily Ever After. Her days are spent teaching yoga, playing tennis, ruining her children’s French homework, cleaning up dog vomit, writing her next book, or reading someone else’s.

 Her debut novel Faster, a Rock and Roll Romance, released June 26, 2018. She's a Mid-Western girl transplanted to Europe where she lives with her own happily-ever-after and two daughters.

 Note from Evie:

Check out my review of Faster to see why you absolutely must buy this awesome book!

 Also, I'd just like to extend a big, huge thank you to Deana for agreeing to do a guest post and share a little bit of the massive wealth of knowledge she possesses! Although I'm hesitant to admit it, Ms. Birch is among my elite group of beta readers/CPs that I occasionally mention in my posts. (Don't you dare try and steal her away... she's spoken for!) She's a fellow RChat gal and, well, without her? I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today. Heed this woman's brilliant advice and, beyond doubt, follow her for more! She's rife with insight that'll blow your hair off.

 Until next time,

E💕

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