#i‘m just creating the content myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bakathief · 14 days

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I'm a little shy! But I would like to express my amazement and admiration! A while ago I found your Shadow Chase art, I loved it and became a fan, you create very funny stories and your art is beautiful, but that's not the point, I started following you because of that, but then I realized that you have many others projects and You are also very busy with your personal life. My question is how is everything organized and planned to advance a project despite academic/work responsibilities? I've seen that you even have collaborations with others and I keep thinking "this person is great." As a final note, I just want to leave my good wishes and hope you have a nice week. <3

Gosh, so many compliments in one ask, I‘m still a little loss for words. Thank you so much for reading my work and looking into my other projects, collabs and art! I hope you‘ve been enjoying them. ❤️

I think there is no denying that I need to organize myself a little bit to make everything work. I think I‘ve always used drawing, especially drawing comics, as a way to breathe and when I started uni I promised myself I would continue drawing somehow. The first semester was hell, but I finished all the way. 💪 And I had the same mindset for working, so when I started this year I was very motivated to draw. Lol I think it also helped that I had several different projects to work on so when I wasn’t in the mood for black and white I would move to something colorful. Comics also offer the possibility to work on different parts. Do I want to work on the story, on the storyboards, on the actual drawings or just editing…? A lot of options. And this is something which I heard on a video on AI but artist and creative people in general don‘t create in other to have more content but to get something out of their head and feel the satisfaction of creating a certain idea and I felt that very much. And then there is the joy of collabs and while there were unfortunately more failed attempts at collabs I’m very glad for those which eventually resulted in great projects. ❤️ I might have to take actual breaks from drawing when I get back to my thesis. I finished all the work but need to write the discussion part and wow, how much I don‘t wanna work on that.

Currently I use my time on commutes for drawings digitally or making storyboards. In the evening I finish private stuff and when time is left I work on traditional art. Shadow Chase is the only project where I try to have an overview on how many pages I have done and want to finish before the next upload. Other works can usually go up once finished. When I create something for fan projects like zines, bigbangs, etc. I usually just try to finish said project right away. I don‘t like procrastinating (except my thesis I guess) and rather have stuff than can be finished done right away and focus on my other projects again. Shades of Tourmaline was definitely my biggest collab project yet and with the amount of art planned it took like 3 years to finish because that was something I couldn‘t get done right away. 😂 fortunately clef was very patient with me (and kept me distracted with new collabs, oops).

The short answer would be I try to draw as much as possible because it is just a lot of fun with the additional bonus of entertaining a few people. ❤️

#I hope I don‘t sound smart or anything #But drawing is honestly just a lot of fun #And working on ideas in general #Getting them out #That‘s the life #And sometimes I just get to talk to really cool people because of that too 😎#Thank you again for looking into my work 💕

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pandoraslxna · 1 year

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Aging up characters and questionable content

Theres a lot of drama going on in the avatar fandom and I just wanted to elaborate my opinion on this, since it affects me and my works too.

I‘m trying to be as respectful as possible and chose my words wisely because I really don’t want to get canceled or upset people.

First of all, I just want to make it clear that everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, especially about sensitive topics like these and I fully respect that!

I have a few mutuals and I also follow a handful of other great authors who consider aging up minor characters as questionable and that’s absolutely fine with me. As long as you don’t treat me as less than a human, you will always have my full respect. I‘m always trying to be friendly to everyone and I obviously still support your works, even if we don’t share the same opinion on this.

I also don’t force them or literally anyone to consume my content and I know that some of my mutuals (probably most) only follow me for my fics about characters that are canonly adults (Jake, Quaritch, Tonowari, etc…) and I don’t mind that either.

I do my best to make sure that my fics are tagged properly, that I use the correct content warnings and also the 'read more' option, so everyone who’s not interested in certain posts can simply ignore them. I’m also always up for constructive criticism and please don’t hesitate to let me know if I didn’t include any important warnings on my fics or if there are any triggers that I forgot to mention.

What I’m trying to say is: I appreciate if people just scroll past content they’re not interested in. If I can do it, you can do too. No matter how questionable some fics may be, nobody is forcing you to consume them. As long as the author tags their fics properly, of course!

Which is why I‘m also speaking up to every author out there: tag your fic properly! Make sure people can avoid your works if they contain anything that could be triggering– that goes from soft to explicit smut, to non-con, to dub-con and to literally any kinks, AU’s and tropes there are. Give your readers a warning beforehand, so they know what they’re about to consume. And please, please, please make sure to use the 'read more' option on tumblr (this is very important to me personally too)! And if someone points out that there are warnings or tags missing on your fics, please appreciate that they’re reaching out to you, I‘m sure their intentions were good. It really doesn’t hurt to include some more tags, even if they seem 'unnecessary' to you -> better safe than sorry!

Just be mindful of each other and treat everyone with respect, so we can all avoid any unwanted and most of all unnecessary drama and enjoy this fandom together.

Now, back to the main topic of this post:

I personally don’t view this type of content (or myself) as predatory or necessarily wrong, just because the characters are aged up. I‘m fully aware that sexualizing minors is wrong and it’s not my intention to create sexual scenarios about underage characters! To me, this is all just fiction. They’re not real. They’re literally blue aliens lol. I also consume and produce dark content like non-con and even stepcest au‘s, but that is something I would never ever support or want to experience in real life!!! I really can’t stress this enough, this is just fictional to me. And just because I age up characters or think they’re attractive in the movie, doesn’t mean I’m attracted to minors in real life. (I‘m not even attracted to guys that are only a year younger than me…)

I‘m also not aging them up to make myself feel better or because I think it makes the whole situation morally right, I’m aging them up because I’m only attracted to guys that are my age (or even older), which is basically the complete opposite of a pedophile as far as I know (?). I really hope that somehow makes sense and I’m not digging my own grave here…

However, I really can’t say this enough: I am absolutely fine that people have different opinions about that and if you’re following me and I ever post something that makes you uncomfortable, even if we’re mutuals/friends, you can unfollow or block me! I just want people to be comfortable on my blog and don’t force anyone to see content that is triggering to them or goes against their believes.

What I don’t support however, is people making fun of others publicly. Talk however you want about my work in private, idc. You can send me a DM if you want to say something, but please don’t encourage others to make fun of me, my works or others.

If you ever accidentally read something, because let’s say the author didn’t mention certain kinks / tropes or literal anything that’s triggering to you beforehand— reach out to them in private. And authors on the other hand, should be mindful of the content that they create and give people the option to avoid them. But please don’t cause public drama, don’t cause a literal witch-hunt. Online bullying can really fuck up peoples lives and mental health.

I think most drama could’ve been avoided if people were just more respectful towards one another and would handle things in private.

I really really hope that I chose the right words for this, as someone who’s not fluent in english it can be so hard to defend myself or get my point across lol

Last but not least, I just want to say thank you, especially to all my mutuals who continue to be respectful towards me, even if they have other opinions regarding the aging up of characters and all that. I‘m just glad that you’re here and chose to enjoy my other works instead. ❤️

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iztea · 4 days

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Do you like drawing in a sense that it relaxes you? Like a hobby you‘re looking forward to after a day of work. Do you feel joy while you draw?

I‘m currently battling my art demons and came to the conclusion that drawing actually makes me feel shitty a lot of the time because I only take joy out of the results yk? So if it‘s good, great! If I get overwhelmed woah my world is breaking down. My therapist told me I need a hobby that actually relaxes me and that I like solely for itself, not connected to performance, and I was wondering if drawing is just generally the wrong thing for that or if there‘s a way for people to actually enjoy it in a relaxing way.

You‘re so open about your drawing process and you‘re my favorite art account so you fell victim to my question haha but I get that this ask is pretty specific and kinda weird, don‘t feel pressured to answer :)

i do very much enjoy drawing in a relaxing way; for me, it's the equivalent of playing video games or watching Netflix so, in a way, i think of drawing as "unproductive work". Not sure if you're actually looking for a solution-based answer to your problem or if you just want to hear my side/my opinion on the matter, but I'll try to delve into both.

I think for me personally, I've always found drawing to be relaxing for the most part. Frustration is always to be expected, of course, but I wouldn't say it ruins the mood, it's just something that comes and goes. The only unpleasant part about drawing for me is strictly related to the social media aspect or just making it public. Now, I'm not sure if you have an art account as well or how much you relate to this but I very often dread posting stuff online. I kinda have to force myself almost every time to make something public because I hate the applause but I am also rational enough to understand that art is meant to be shared with others, even if I personally don't feel a strong need to... It's just one of those human behaviour things you have to mimic or adapt to get by, similar to many other things that don't make sense to me personally but I cognitively understand why they happen but I digress

When it comes to the process itself, I actually enjoy it more than the final result. If I had a lot of fun experimenting with brushes and new techniques and crazy effects i saw online then i get a sense of joy no matter the end result, and here is where my first piece of advice comes into play: learn to enjoy the process without thinking of the destination. For me, even when I do have a clear idea in mind, it always fluctuates and I let it fluctuate. Sometimes it even looks like shit. So what? It's just for your eyes, who cares if it doesn't look good? Just call it a flop and move to another thing, or revisit it sometime later when your skills improve. This is even easier when you do not have an art account where you share your art, there's zero pressure, you're creating the pressure yourself.

Just think about it:

>why do you feel shitty and overwhelmed? -> because you care about the end result

>why do you care? -> because if it turns out bad, it feels like wasted time. or because you put your worth into what you create or because [ fill in your answer here ]

>do you still want to continue drawing? -> if there is a way to enjoy it in a relaxing way, then yes i assume

Ok great! Then, the solution is to remove that root feeling of disappointment, overwhelm or despair by learning to appreciate the process of creation and bask in the uncertainty of it instead of being so dead-set on the final piece. If you are not content enough with your skills to end up drawing something that you're always satisfied with, and if it causes you this much distress, then drop your expectations and don't reach the finish line. I mean this literally: draw forever-WIPs. Sketches. Doodles. Don't render, don't even try to think of a color palette. Don't Finish Your Art. Enjoy the process of discovery, of trial-and-error of indecision and I can assure you it will be during these moments when you'll find the relaxation you're looking for.

Enjoyment and relaxation, in my experience, come from two places/approaches: 1. the subject itself and/or 2. noticing improvement in your skills.

To give you an example, when I was sick with fever I drew Dazai as that "let's take ibuprofen together" meme and I thought it was the best shit in the world I was on cloud nine and giggling to myself. Looking back on that art, I now realize it looks terrible (and i lowkey want to redraw it) but back then i was laughing while drawing it and felt Great. because I was drawing something i thought it was funny. Not even once did I think "oh man, I hope this turns out nice ohh it will be so awful if it doesn't the world will explode" because that was not its purpose. Granted i was a bit,,,,,, unwell given my sickly state but my point still stands! So, what I'm trying to say here is that you can try drawing "funny/silly" things as a way to sort of lessen that burden of expectations. Or just something you reaaalllly want to see and you know no one else will do it. Taking matters in your own hands type beat

The second way to enjoy drawing in a relaxing way is by taking the other route: instead of focusing on the subject matter, try focusing on new techniques, new brushes, new tutorials or approaches you found online. Basically, focus on improving your skills in a fun-no-pressure-no-strings-attached way while keeping your subject of choice neutral or uninteresting. Or maybe take the artwork of an artist you really like and try to deconstruct it/ reverse engineer it and apply it to your own art. But whatever you do or choose, just never finish it. let them stay as wips or else you won't be very.. relaxed.

*please note this is an "and/or" statement, so you can absolutely do both: try a new technique you found while drawing something that you also enjoy for uhhhhhhhhhhh relaxmaxxing as the would kids say

Lastly, what I would highly recommend is listening to Adam Duff's podcasts, he really hits the nail on the head when it comes to such topics and more, he really narrates and explores that soulful part of an artist way better than I ever could with this answer so please check him out, I think you'll find your answers there

#ask iztea #long post #a less more unpopular /hot take opinion is that you don't always have to find joy in drawing #it doesn't always have to make you happy #we like to run away from pain but #when it comes to creation negative feelings can bloom into something beautiful too you know #it's like an outlet #so maybe don't look for enjoyment and peace and treat the hobby of drawing as some sort of uhhhhhhh what do they call it #hands on therapy? idk but i think you know what i mwan #imagine if all art brought just joy only #that's boring and frankly quite suppressive #i don't think im making sense anymore i slept for 3 hours so i'll shut up

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iamthecomet · 9 months

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Hoot :D

I will eventually reply to your response but decided to rather tell you other stuff before doing that cause yesterday was a super low mental health day and today is a little better but not really good either

I‘ve mentioned the big project a few times, but I wanna tell you (and everybody that reads this) more about it and the idea

I thought about starting to make a webtoon type of thing about a giant pack of working ghouls within the ministry that nobody really cares about

I‘m not sure if anybody would be interested in it, but I’ve got so many ideas for a storyline and I started to come up with characters already

Webtoon itself doesn‘t allow gore or nsfw content, which is why I think that I’ll just upload it to ao3 (it would give me complete freedom to do whatever the hell I want with my characters)

I love both creating stories and characters as well as that creating a comic would help me practice drawing (I only started to learn how to draw humanoids this spring)

So yeah. That’s the idea. I‘m still not sure if I’m gonna do it because 1) my abilities to draw aren‘t good enough (yet) and 2) maybe nobody would enjoy reading it (and while I ofc can create content for myself, it‘s more fun if there‘s at least a few people that would potentially like to read it)

~ @owlishanon

Sending you love and good vibes to help deal with your bad mental health days. ♥ I think you should DO IT. The webtoon idea sounds awesome! and if you wait until you think you're good enough, you'll never do it (trust me on that one). I love the idea of seeing what the working ghouls around the Abbey get into. You never know what kind of audience it will get until you put it out there. I think you should try it--there is no harm in that. And it will help you become a better artist as you go! I'm like fully behind this, and would love to see it even if you decide not to share it with more people!

#comet comments #owlish #comet's anons

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navybrat817 · 1 year

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Hey navy,

Do you have any advice on how to deal with your art getting no feedback? I joined the MCU fandom because I saw all these great artists interacting with each other. I reblog with comments almost everything I read, I love seeing all the interaction between my fav artists here. I wish I was part of it.

So I tried posting my first fic ever and get nothing. I wasn’t expecting anything like you or the other established writers, and I checked and my post was in the tags. But I got a handful of likes and nothing more.

I ended up deleting it. I know I‘m not entitled to any feedback or reactions. But it feels like I put all this effort in trying to make friends here and the one time I open myself up I get rejected, like I‘m not good enough to be one of the cool kids. Though I can’t rule out that my writing just sucks, which I really hope it doesn’t. But who knows…

So, yeah. I’m just feeling sad and any advice on how to deal with it would be appreciated <3

Hi. nonnie. It breaks my heart that you feel like you're on the outside looking in when it comes to the fandom. I also want to say we appreciate that you take the time to comment and reblog. That means so much to content creators.

I'm going add questions and thoughts under the cut.

Did you check the tags when you posted? Many of us have issues with fics not showing in tags. Sometimes we have to edit them. Some even delete the fic and repost later.

Have you considered time zone reblogs? Some of my readers are not in the same time zone I am, so I space out a few just in case people miss it when I post. You could also try pinning your recent fic to your post and making a pinned post and sharing it there.

Have you made connections within the fandom? You could always ask mutuals if it's okay to tag them in anything you decide to share. One of the things I do want to stress though is that moots should not be expected to boost or read (and vice versa). You could create a taglist if you have the capacity.

I know it can be discouraging when you pour your heart into something and you feel overlooked. I would never invalidate those feelings. Lord knows I've had them before. I do, however, hope you decide to share again.

Feedback for MANY has been hit and miss for some time. One of the reasons the @the-slumberparty is happening is because we want to boost morale. I hope it helps!

At the end of the day, you need to do what's best for you, but I hope you know you do make an impact.

Sending you all the love, thanks, and good vibes. ❤️

#navybrat answers #fandom ask #fandom discourse #personal #sweet nonnie #fanfic writer #sending love ❤️#asks are always appreciated

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curlyhairedprince · 8 months

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im sure you have valid reasons for distancing yourself from tumblr or losing interest in the fandom but i really miss you on here. sending you some hugs 🫂

cant lie I just don’t have any nerve or can identify myself with this fandom atm (this has nothing to do with Harry our Louis themselves) so yeah tumblr is just not a fun place for me, so when i‘m here it’s just refreshing to engage with and create content that most my followers don’t care about lmao. but thank you for thinking of me love, sending hugs back!!

#this probably makes no sense #but like #things like this happen I guess #and it probably will get back to normal at one point?#but idk #ask #anonymous

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astralwaifu · 2 years

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Hiyaaa! I would love to participate in your matchup event. Congrats for the 50 followers<3

Lets head to the informations ⬇️

Zodiac sign: September Virgo

My biggest kins are Mei Misaki, Mikasa Ackerman and Alice from Alice in wonderland ^^

My hobbies are Lyra dancing, judo, kickboxing, drinking chamomile tea while reading a book filled with angst and dark content or I just organise my room or take a nap

The things I despise are Insects (Moths are fine tho <3), sunny weather, people screaming at me, possessive or manipulative behaviour (it’s quite easy to manipulate me), head pats or people just randomly touching me, people teasing or annoying me.

The things I adore are:

Coke, bears, the moon, going to the beach at night, sleeping, Lyra dance, judo, chamomile tea, music, daggers, the night sky, kickboxing

My fashion: (I don’t really know how I should describe my style so I just put some outfits together that define my fashion:

I like outfits mixed with red and black, but I also like white outfits with long flowing skirts and accessories ^^

My personality:

I‘m pretty yielding, selfish, a bit dreamy and mostly very.. restless?..

I’m mostly minding my own business, not being interested in having mindless conversations with people I just met.

I’m an introvert so it’s a bit hard for me to just go up to someone and start a conversation.

However, I’m not shy. Not at all. I speak freely when I talk with someone and I don’t like being interrupted. But what I loathe more than being interrupted are small talks or mindless conversations.

So yea I only talk when someone wants to get in touch with me or if I wanna get in touch with someone.

I never really minded my selfishness. I think that’s just how I’am. And if we’re honest, aren’t we all selfish at some times?

I also zoom out a lot if I’m bored and just turn back to my own reality. I don’t like being pulled out of my comfort zone.

I consider myself as a mature person and I think deeper than I sometimes should.

I’m mostly polite but if someone’s being unreasonable rude I would shot back.

If I’m not having any selfish intentions I’m trustworthy.

I can be a bit stiff at times but after some time I feel more comfortable around people and start to laugh and smile more.

I don’t like people who are way too stubborn. It just really gets annoying after some time.

I may not seem like that, but I am actually very forgiving.

I’m not shy I’m just very silent.

It’s a bit hard for me to stay at one place for too long. I prefer the outdoors and I like to explore. So travelling to new places is a big yes for me <3

My probably biggest personality trait is that I’m incredibly compassionate with those who where wronged by society.

I’m absolutely the obedient one in a relationship and I prefer to be the one who gets to be cared for. (Not that I wouldn’t like to give them affection) But I must say that I want a emotional relationship with someone. Cuddles and kisses don’t fill my heart. I want to be able to show my soft and vulnerable side without being ashamed of it. And having someone I can trust and find comfort in is everything I ever ask for <3

Marrying is nothing important for me. As long as I can stay by their side I’m fine with anything.

Fandom: Kimetsu no yaiba (demon slayer)

Facts:

- I love kids but I would be too scared to take care of kids myself.

- I have Megalophobia (the fear of huge things)

- I have a strong immune-system and I rarely get sick

- I believe that demons are tragic creatures who are held in Muzan’s hate and power. They’re not real enemies or monsters for me. I would probably be a slayer myself creating a breathing style that slays demons in a painless way. Or I would be a peaceful demon lmao

- I dye my hair a lot (only the tips)

- I’m a night owl and I’m very active at night.

- I have dry humour

Thank you so much! Have a nice day! And don’t forget to drink some water and breathe in fresh air <3

First of all, thank you so much for joining, I always love to meet other Mikasa kinnies (yes, I am one too) <3 Second of all, I searched what Lyra dance is and I AM EXTREMELY STUNNED - you can do that!? It’s amazing and looks so hard 😭 Also, after thinking about it for some time, I found the perfect character (I think), so hear me out:

I match you up with…

Kanae Kocho!

Hc:

- She never pushed your buttons or forced you into opening up. Everything came naturally, you were basically attracted to her calm and serene nature like a moth to the light.

- You didn’t have to say anything, you just enjoyed eachother’s presence and that became like a love language. Reading books by the other’s side, brewing tea for the Butterfly Mansion and going on missions together, getting lost in the wilderness of nature… It became like a small sanctuary for you.

- You dye eachother’s hair every single week and Aoi is quite exasperated with the mess of colours you make in the bathroom by the end of your hair styling sessions.

- Kanae is a patient and understanding woman, with a lot of emotional intelligence. She sees past every front you can put on and knows what you feel even before you realise yourself.

- However, she never made you tell her what is burdening you - she just waited for the moment you felt safe enough with her. All the conversations you had in the middle of the night, watching the silvery shine of the moon built her road to your heart. And it wasn’t small talk, no.

- You told eachother about your dreams for this world and found a lot in common in the way you view demons - something that her little sister, Shinobu, or anyone else never understood.

- She never raised her tone at you nor did she manipulate you into doing something that you didn’t want to do. At most, she tried to encourage you to be more open, if not to the world, to yourself, to how you feel.

- Soft spoken and sensitive, yet determined and strong. That’s what she is and that’s what you love the most about her.

- She couldn’t even begin to say what she loved about you, because Kanae knew words are small and meaningless. It was in the little acts of affection between you two that she dwelled. In the little moments you allowed yourself to be soft and vulnerable with her, letting her see your bare, wonderful being.

- You keep saying you’re selfish, well everyone is. Do you think she isn’t? Kanae may not look like it, but deep down, all she wants is to leave everything behind and simply be with you. (tooth rotting fluff ik)

- The Hashiras love you and are quite started when they see you and Kanae walk around, since both of you look so otherworldly and ethereal. But how can you notice them, when all you can picture is your lover ?

bonus song: My Heart is Buried in Venice - Ricky Montgomery

#kny #kny x reader #kny headcanons #kny kanae #kanae kocho #demon slayer #demon slayer headcanons #demon slayer kanae #kanae kocho x reader #kny matchup #demon slayer matchup

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astranne · 3 years

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announcemet to my tumblr account

hey guys

i have some things to say related to my account and i hope you‘ll read it. i will take a break from tumblr and i don’t know when i will be back. under the cut is explained why.

i started this account last summer in quarantine, more out of fun and quite inexperienced. i had no idea how to handle things, or what i should post and still gained some followers. later, i had a big break because i was moving places and needed time to finish my drafts. slowly, i started to love being on tumblr and posted more works of mine.

in december i remade my whole blog, spent hours linking and redoing my things and i loved to do it. and somehow i gained 121 followers whom i all appreciate.

but i always had the feeling that i did things wrong, i never really stick to only one fandom because my followers rarely like or reblog my work. most of them are just random accounts which interact with certain tags. it didn’t help that i saw regularly blogs with around 200 followers with followers who sent much more asks and questions. i would love to interact more with my followers, but when nobody of them sees my posts?

people mentioned that it‘s better to stick with one theme/fandom but i wanted to create a blog where i can post things i like and hopefully others too. not to mention it would be too boring for me just to post things about marvel as an example. now i’m thinking that this was a mistake, but i don’t have the guts to just delete a fandom in my creation list.

i had plans to create a new side blog, for my nsfw works but also with angst stuff. (probably with anime but i like the idea with marvel too) it‘s still only an idea so it won‘t happen for sure. not to mention that i‘m a person who doesn‘t like dark content, due personal reasons, but i don’t hate authors who write it. and i have the feeling that especially in the anime fandoms there is much dark content. but not everyone thinks like me and i know many blogs who are attacked because they don’t like dc and clearly state that they won’t interact with people who write this. this made my quite wary of creating a nsfw blog.

i’ve always wanted a blog that can be a save heaven for many and all fandoms, but it seems almost impossible now. i would have to choose one fandom and interact more with the fandom, which i never do. i never went too deep into fandoms because they always scared me as a younger person and now i just keep distance.

due this reasons, and the fact that i just today saw two of blogs i follow and dearly love are practically showered with hate, i will take a break from tumblr. i also thought of deleting this account and go back to wattpad and maybe start something new, and i have to admit that i like this idea. or just a big break from social medias because i just can’t seem to enjoy it anymore. and i don’t want that. it breaks my heart when i see that people are able to hurt other people with being toxic and i fear that if my blog grows that it will happen to me too.

i’m normally a confident person and can usually brush things like this just away. but recently, many things happened in my life, i found new friends/mutals and i just want to have a fresh start in my new home. my family is also going through a rough time and i want to be there for them. it makes my heart clench when I just think about disappointing my followers just because I don’t post things, but said followers never really interact with me- and this leaves a big amount of self-doubt. i still love all of you and i don’t want you to feel bad, this all just made me really think about everything.

i still want to stay in contact with friends i made here on tumblr, also on discord, and i hope i’ll be. but i just recently started to connect with people here, and sometimes i feel just another follower of their big blog to them

i don’t want self-pity myself, sound like a whiny bitch or something like that. and i don’t want pity or attention from anyone else, i just wanted to explain properly why i’m going on a break and what will happen with this blog.

i will probably still follow some of my favourite blogs and interact with them, but i won’t post things anymore here. maybe there will a reblog pop up, but that will be until i decide finally what happens with this blog.

many hugs and kisses, and a thank you <33

justhugefangirl

- p.s. if someone has questions related to anything i wrote here, you can always message me per dm’s

#justhugefangirl talks {⁉️}#news {🚨}#important #i will pin this post so its the first thing everyone will see #thank you for reading and understanding #my inbox and dm's are open if someone has questions

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seance · 3 years

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2020 content creator tag

RULES: answer the questions and then tag 10+ other creators to answer the questions!

finally got around to do this, terribly late i know and i’m sorry but i swear i wasn’t ignoring all the incredibly talented people who tagged me! thank you so so much for thinking of me guys ♡ probably lost some @ in the process cause my notifs are a mess. @goinesjennifer @juliesmolina @faeryglass @almondchestnut @olisgifs @andyoudoctor @yenvengerberg @iridescentides @juliesmolinas

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: god, i already said this but giffing really became my #1 coping mechanism this year so i have a LOT of stuff just from this year. the first one is this THE WITCHER INTRO CARDS gifset and the most recent is actually my julie’s gifset from yesterday but i’m not satisfied with it so! i’m gonna say this KLAUS AND FIVE PARALLELS gifset instead.

one of your favorite creations from 2020: oof, this is super difficult because i get attached to most of my creations, even if they don’t come out as i initially hoped. i’ll go with this five gifset BIRDS HOVER THE TRAMPLED FIELD just because it’s a perfect example of a rare occurrence aka when both my inspiration and my vision and my skills align and i manage to create something exactly how i first imagined it. and also because i think there’s not better fitting poem for this man.

a creation you’re really proud of: i have a few but maybe this ODE TO NUMBER FIVE gifset just because i had a very specific vibe i wanted to give off and i think i managed alright with the colors, texture and design choices! and then i can’t not mention this YOU WERE ALWAYS GOLD TO ME gifset just because i literally poured all my heart into it. this song and these people mean so so much to me.

a new style you tried this year and a gifset that uses it: my style really evolved at the speed of light starting july and i still can’t believe the things i learned once i just let myself try. i keep having new ideas and trying really hard not to dismiss them and see if they work out, telling myself it’s okay if they don’t! i think this ALLISON HARGREEVES gifset basically has it all: the blending, the font work, the shape play. or even this JATP + BODIES OF WATER type of style, complex blending such as this one WILLEX SUPERSTAR is slowly becoming my trademark and i’m not mad about it, i love playing around with fonts like i did in this ALEXREGGIE gifset even if i know it gets really crowded and hard to read sometimes, or even with lines and block of colors like i did here JATP BORN FOR THIS, i finally got back to play around with textures JATP SCRAPBOOK and even JATP DISCOGRAPHY i also tried my hand at creating entire new “atmospheres” playing with specific visual choices like i did in the HARGREEVES AS PARANORMAL INVESTIGATORS set.

your favorite coloring: okay you guys know coloring is easily my favorite thing to do in the world and i’m usually pretty proud of every outcome because i remember how difficult it was for me, for years i thought i would never learn but i still did it, all by myself just keeping trying like a madwoman lmao basically all my the umbrella academy gifset are my pride and joy because did you see that show? how shitty the lighting is? gifmakers need a miracle every single time. so i’m gonna list a few that i still look at fondly ♥

THE SEVEN HARBINGERS OF THE APOCALYPSE

WILLIE AND CALEB

YOU CAN SET YOURSELF FREE (HARGREEVES)

SEASON ONE FAVORITE EPISODE

ALWAYS GOLD TO ME

THE OLD GUARD + RICHARD SIKEN

a creation that took you forever: basically everything i do ahah just because one way or another i always get stuck on something for hours at end be it the fonts or the colors or the scene choices. but i’d say this STRONGER + HAGREEVES SIBLINGS gifset just because my inspiration went off and i decided i wanted to try a bunch of different techniques all at once and my brain didn’t let me rest until i did it all. to think it all started with just that “everyone will know me by a different name” line, oh my god.

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this VANYA + HER SIBLINGS LOVE gifset with 15.406 notes that i kinda hate because what’s up with that font? and the ugly coloring?! totally gonna remake this one because they deserve far better.

a creation you think deserved more notes: oh my god deep down i want to be selfish and say so many because that number never really match the effort i put in most of my gifs but i’ve also learned not to get too bitter about that, few people rb it, even fewer people comment on it but those people are worth more than anyone else. if i had to chose i’d say either the ALWAYS GOLD TO ME set just because it means so much to me, this ALEXREGGIE set that was so fun to make and i love how the colors and the font work came out, this VANYA + EMPATHY set, and this SWEETIE LITTLE JEAN one.

a creation with a favorite scene/quote: i rarely do actual, canonical quotes and i never use just one scene gsjds- so i’ll go with this DIEGO + LOVE FOR HIS FAMILY one even if i don’t like the font and again ALEX&REGGIE being themselves.

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: considering i was already the umbrella academy and the witcher obsessed i’d say the old guard (YOU KNOW ME WELL) and julie and the phantoms (FAVORITE FRIENDSHIP)

a creation you made that breaks your heart: oh, if you know me even one bit you also know i thrive on angsty feelings, they’re usually my main inspiration not gonna lie so choosing is not that simple! again, this KLAUS AND FIVE parallels gifset because of the sheer tragedy of their lives, this SWEETIE LITTLE JEAN five gifset, this KLAUS HARGREEVES one and this I WANNA BE NUMB AGAIN, this DEAR FORGIVENESS, YOUR BOOKER because this man is a walking tragedy (and this PIECES OF ME DIE ALL THE TIME too for good measure) and then this HARGREEVES SIBS + DAUGHTER gifset.

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: i have brainworms and once i’ve learned how to do something i never manage to come back to the things i did before so i’ve rarely made “simpler” things lately. maybe this JATP + TIMES OF DAY still qualify.

a creation that was inspired by another one (add both your creation and the one that inspired it!): this FAVORITE JATP CHARACTERS with the circle text inspired by this gifset by the loml @evakant // this JATP ROLES with the triangles technique inspired by this work of art by @anya-chalotra and this WARRIOR JULIE set with the text layout inspired by a lovely gifset that now seems to be deleted :(

a favorite creation created by someone else: i love everything my mutuals make but there are some people who really pushed me to always learn more and their gifs are still my absolute favorite thing to date. for example: this THE OLD GUARD TAROTS set by @milkovivhs // this incredible HARGREEVES SIBLINGS one by @yenvengerberg // this GERALT OF RIVIA masterpiece by @anya-chalotra // this CROWLEY set by the queen of colors herself @meliorn

some of your favorite content creators from the year: really too many to count, my mutuals inspire me every single day, the keep my creativity alive and seeing their creations on my dash is always such a treat! so, all the above for sure and then: i‘m stupidly proud of @sunsetscurving i saw her grow into the giffing process with such speed and such vision, everything she does is so pretty, but all my mutuals are incredibly talented. they don’t do anything half-assed, everything they do perfectly mirrors their efforts! @captainheroism @emeraldphantoms @nora-reid @amandaseyfried @rockyblue @juliesmolina @juliesmolinas @lettersdeeplyworn @jakeperalta @kennyortegas @merceralexs @alexreggieluke @calebcovington @andyoudoctor @almondchestnut @iridescentides @number5theboy @evakant

and for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love: excluding all the above i’ll go with

JATP FAVORITE QUOTE

HARGREEVES AS GREEK DEITIES

YOU ARE HERE TO RISK YOUR HEART

THE JATP GEMSTONE SERIES x / x

SOBRIETY IS OVERRATED

AMOR C’HA NULLO AMATO

IF MEMORIES COULD BLEED

this took me so long that everyone else already did it before me so i don’t think i can tag anyone, if you’re reading this and feel like doing it please feel free!

#text #creator tag meme #ari.txt #my eyes are burning so bad this took SO LONG #aodgsd- how did you guys do it so fast?!#maybe i just gif too much sh*t lmao #love you all with ALL my heart

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051093 · 4 years

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let’s make another | v

words: 2534

pairing: jihyun “v” kim x reader

genre: dad!v, fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, i destroyed myself writing this, implied sexual content, just cute shit tbh

description: in which seven and yoosung visit their favorite baby girl — and you and your husband celebrate your fourth anniversary.

my masterlist.

“Lucy!”

You squint at the house, waiting for her head of haphazard hazel hair to appear any second, but it’s so silent that you can hear the summer breeze threading through your hair. Cicadas chirp in the distance.

“Lucy Kim!” You try again, raising your volume to a shout that bounces around the courtyard. “Get down here! Your uncles are here to see you!”

More silence. A laugh sounds from behind you.

“Well, Yoosung,” Seven quips. “I think it’s time we headed back. It was great seeing you, Y/N.”

You give him a stern look and he puts his hands in the air.

“Or not. Wow. I’ve forgotten how well you mastered the motherly glare.”

“If only it worked on my daughter,” you mutter, drumming your fingers against your hips. “Where in the world could she be?”

“Is she playing hide and seek again?” Yoosung laughs. “Do you remember last time I visited? When you couldn’t find her for the longest time and she was in your closet all along?”

“The day I nearly lost my mind, you mean? How could I forget?” You shake your head. “I would’ve called the police if Zen hadn’t heard her evil cackling while he was in the restroom upstairs.”

Seven sighs fondly. “She takes after me so well.”

“Come on. Let’s go inside for now. I’m sure she’ll turn up.” You drape an arm around each of the boys’ shoulders. “I missed you both.”

“We missed you too,” Yoosung hums. “How are you? How’s V?”

“We’re good.” The three of you walk up the porch stairs. “I‘m working from home to take care of the little maniac, and he’s been going on photography trips regularly again.”

“That’s right. I heard about that. Doesn’t the Korean Museum of Modern Art—” He stops mid-sentence, amber eyes widening. “—you angel. Is that Ph.D Pepper I see?”

You’ve stepped into your living room, an open, modern space with floor-to-ceiling windows bathing the area in sunlight. Indeed, the table in the center has been laid out with cans of Seven’s go-to beverage, side by side with freshly baked buns for Yoosung. The boys’ faces brighten upon seeing the refreshments.

“Oh, yes. I ran to the grocery store an hour before you got here.” You gesture. “For Saeyoung, the soda he loves far too much for his own good, and for Yoosung…you like the red bean ones, right? Did I remember correctly?”

Yoosung gives you an elated hug. “Yes! You’re amazing. I complained to Seven the entire way here about being hungry. Thank you thank you thank you.”

They sink into the couch and dig in, satisfied.

“Anyway, what was I saying?” Seven says, now with a Ph.D Pepper in hand. “Oh, right. I heard the Korean Museum of Modern Art wants to open an exhibit just for his photographs.”

“Yes. He’s working on that right now,” you say. “The new collection is absolutely beautiful. He thinks it might be his best work yet, and I completely agree.”

“Aw, look at her proud smile,” Yoosung teases through a mouthful of bread, then pouts. “You guys are so cute. It’s been almost four years and I’m still jealous.”

“Hey, what do you mean, jealous?” Seven says, nudging Yoosung with a foot. “Have you forgotten about that girl from the internet cafe already?”

“What?” You say, swiveling towards Yoosung, who’s turned beet red and stopped mid-chew. “There’s a girl, Yoosung?”

“N-no,” he stutters.

“Yes there is!” Seven sings gleefully. “There’s a girl!”

“Oh, I expect to hear all about this,” you say, but you know by the sound of thunderous footsteps that you’re about to be interrupted.

Bright eyes, far too big for her tiny face, appear around the corner. Things you notice: she’s covered in paint. She’s barefoot. Her hair is a mess. And all three and a half feet of her are now hurtling in your direction.

“SEVENY! YOOSUNG!”

“LUCY!” They shout in perfect unison. Both boys immediately forget about the food in hand and jump to their feet.

She barrels into Seven’s arms first, the redhead sweeping her tiny frame into a tight embrace, then leaps into Yoosung’s lap next, small arms thrown around his neck. Her eyes crinkle from her grin and her mouth splits in a delighted shriek as Yoosung gives her sides an affectionate tickle.

You can’t help but mirror her grin. The girl has always had a knack for making those around her smile a little wider, and the members are no exception. She’s close to them all, due to their frequent visits and unwavering affection towards her, but she once whispered to you that Seven and Yoosung were her favorites. You’re not surprised — there’s playful and hilarious Seven who makes her laugh like no other, and there’s Yoosung who’s so sweet and kind that he’s essentially her big brother.

“Mommy!” Lucy says brightly, looking at you from her seat on Yoosung’s lap. “Hi!”

“Hi, sweetie.” You cradle her hair and press a kiss to her forehead. “Where’s your dad?”

As if on cue, a second set of footsteps come down the stairs. You lift your head and a fond smile tugs at your lips.

Everything about your husband is familiar by now, from his cerulean eyes to sharp jaw, tall frame and lean build, but you’ll never get tired of the way he looks after spending time with Lucy, that aura of tired bliss. Happiness looks good on him, you think to yourself as he walks towards you. So does that shirt.

“Hey,” you murmur as he curls an arm around your waist.

He dips his head and kisses you in lieu of hello, one that’s short but sweet. The taste of coffee and mint lingers behind on your tongue when he pulls away.

“Sorry we’re late, darling,” he says. “Lucy made a bit of a mess.”

“That’s okay. Painting again?”

“Mhm. It’s all she wants to do recently. I think I’ve created a monster.”

Now that he’s closer, you see that the material of his linen shirt has fallen victim to the paint as well, tiny polka dots of color spattered here and there. “She’s good at it, clearly. I like what she’s done to your shirt.”

“Ah, you do?”

“Yes. You look absolutely dashing.”

He leans in to kiss you once more, this time smiling against your mouth, his voice a deep whisper. “Thank you, my lovely wife.”

“EWW!” Seven shouts from the other end of the room. “Cover your eyes, Lucy. Your parents are being gross.”

You begin to pull away, your face flushed. V presses one last kiss to your cheek before letting you go.

“Hi, hyung!” Yoosung says cheerily.

“Yoosung. Saeyoung,” V greets warmly. “You’re both well, I hope? Thanks for coming all this way to visit us.”

“Lucy,” Yoosung corrects, his arms wound tightly around the little girl. You can’t tell who of the two looks happier. “Came here to visit Lucy.”

“Of course,” V laughs. “Then you’re both staying for dinner. For Lucy.”

“Wheeeeee!” Lucy squeals. “Stay for dinner! Stay for dinner!”

“You know, I actually had a bit of work left…” Seven’s voice trails off into a smile. “But alright. Anything for you, little Luc.”

“Great,” you say. “I’ll be off to cook soon, since it’s almost dinnertime. Care to help, Yoosung?”

“Yes, of course! I’ll be right there.”

The two of you head off for the kitchen, and you hear Saeyoung’s bright plea as you walk away.

“Oh, right, V! Will you show me your new collection?”

“It’s not ready — ”

“I don’t care. I want to see!”

“I WANT TO SEE!” Lucy echoes emphatically.

You open the fridge to conceal your smile. It’s like you and V have two kids instead of one.

....

“Mommy, I think I ruined daddy’s shirt today.”

You can’t help but laugh at Lucy’s sudden revelation, lifting the blanket for her. “You got a little paint on it, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” Lucy crawls into bed, lying down and resting her cheek on the pillow. “But I didn’t mean to!”

“I know you didn’t.”

“It was pretty,” Lucy murmurs sadly. “Can we clean it up again?”

“Yes. Here, I’ll tell you what.” You tug the covers up until they cover her shoulders, then smooth them down so you can see her face. “We’ll clean it off together tomorrow.”

She looks up at you. “We will?”

Even four years later, it blows your mind at times how your adopted daughter could easily pass for your biological child, with long locks the same color as yours and V’s eyes, and your heart swells affectionately at the sight of her glimmering blue irises, suddenly bright with anticipation.

“Yes, my dearest.” You nudge the apple of her cheek with a gentle knuckle. “I promise. But stop worrying about daddy’s shirt and first get a good night’s sleep, okay?”

A smile tugs at her lips, and she allows her eyes to fall shut. “Okay.”

“Sweet dreams, little one.” You crouch and lean forward to press a quick kiss to her nose. “I love you so so much.”

“I love you more more more.”

“Nuh-uh. Mommy loves you most.”

“Well, I love you…mostest!” She erupts into a fit of giggles and you can’t help but laugh with her.

“Good night, silly girl.”

You turn off the lights on your way out, looking over your shoulder; in the glow of the nearby night light, Lucy burrows deeper until she’s reduced to a head of hair and a tiny lump beneath the sheets. There’s a small, loving smile on your face when you leave the room and close the door behind you.

Your room is similarly dimly lit. The source of light is coming from the bathroom and accompanied by the gentle sound of swishing water. You crack the door open. V stands shirtless in front of the mirror, bent over and washing something white in the sink.

“Oh, no,” you lament, and he looks your reflection in the mirror as you walk up behind him. “Lucy wanted to wash that out for you.”

His hands freeze in the sink. “Really?”

“Yeah.” You gently wrap your arms around his waist, nuzzling your face against the toned muscle of his back. “She just told me how bad she felt about getting paint on it.”

He chuckles. “Did she mention her own clothes? They were essentially her makeshift paint palette.”

“No. I was thinking about that, too,” you laugh. “It’s a weird, selfless girl we have.”

“Like mother like daughter.”

He turns around to face you. “You promised her she’d wash the shirt?” You nod. “Maybe we should mess it up again then.”

The sudden proximity (and the planes of golden muscle, the dip of his collarbones, the definition of his arms and neck) leaves you breathless. You run your fingers down his chest, your voice softening.

“I could think of a few other things we could mess up, handsome.”

The last thing you see is a boyish grin that only appears when you’ve said something suggestive and then his lips are on yours. He movies with the comfort and confidence of someone who knows your lips all too well; in no time, there’s a tongue brushing against your lower lip and an arm snaking around your waist, pulling you taut against him.

The next thing you know, you’re being lowered onto the mattress. Your head hits the pillow and V is on top of you, arms flexing as he holds himself above you, kissing you languidly, heatedly. You groan into his mouth, threading your fingers through his silky locks and tangling them at the nape of his neck, hooking a leg over his hip, wanting him closer, closer —

Through the open window comes the first chime of midnight.

There’s a church not far away that has a bell tower and sounds off the day’s hours. It’s become a commonality, but there’s something different about it tonight, something that causes you both to hesitate. V breaks the kiss, labored breath tickling your skin as the two of you listen.

Twelve chimes. Midnight.

You turn your head back to V. When you meet his gaze, his eyes are barely visible, but the small amount of moonlight that seeps through the curtains allows you to see how his face has changed entirely. His pupils are still dilated from lust, but his expression has softened. His lips have parted, unspoken words on the tip of his tongue, the beautiful aqua of his irises swimming with something you know well. Love. Adoration.

“Is it…?” He breathes.

You lift a hand to his cheek, a weak smile appearing on your lips.

“Happy anniversary, Jihyun,” you whisper.

Though he’s been living contentedly for a long time now, he’s always been quite serious. You know this is due to the ghost of his past that trails him wherever he goes; he still dreams of his mother, and often reminisces on the deep depression he fell into after Rika’s alleged suicide. The memories have undoubtedly taken their toll on him, even after all this time.

But there are rare moments when he actually looks his age, and this is one of them: when the smile that breaks across his face is, in one word, happy, so happy.

His arms wind around your waist as he leans in, dusting a kiss to your jaw, then your collarbone, where he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“Four, is it?” He whispers.

“Four,” you say.

A few moments pass, the only sounds being his gentle breathing and the rhythmic beat of your pulse in your ears. And the shift of fabric as he lowers himself onto the mattress beside you, his arms circling around your waist.

“Four years,” he murmurs, his breath tickling your skin. “You know, I’m glad I have photography in my life again, as well as the friendship and trust of the RFA members, and there’s no doubt those things make me happy, but I have to be honest with myself here…you’re the reason. For all the happiness, all the love. My heart and my soul have been so at peace for so long because I’ve had you by my side.

“You and Lucy have made me the luckiest man in the world.” His voice drops, his words so quiet you only just make them out. “Thank you for coming into my life four years ago, my angel. I love you endlessly.”

You graze a finger beneath his chin, tilting his head up so you can kiss him. This time is sweet, deep, and grateful, if the grin etched on your lips is any indication.

“And I,” you say, pulling back to wrap your hands around the nape of his neck, to rest your forehead against his, “love you too, Jihyun. To the ends of the solar system and back.”

He gazes into your eyes a few moments more, and then the devilish smile is back and he’s leaning in to press a trail of kisses down your neck. You arch into him, barely hearing him over the sound of your own moan.

“Fuck it,” are his words. “Let’s make Lucy a baby sibling.”

#jihyun kim x reader #v x reader #mystic messenger #jihyun x reader #jihyun x mc #mysme #v x mc #mysme fanfic #mystic messenger oneshots #mystic messenger imagines #mine

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studylustre · 4 years

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Hi Carol, may I ask you a question? I‘m learning Japanese and i really love learning new grammatical concepts and new words, i find it really interesting. But i can’t motivate myself to revise the vocabulary and concepts i already know, and now I’m at the point where i am supposed to know a bunch of stuff but i forgot it all because i never revise it and it’s become too much to just remember without effort. Do you have any techniques that help you revise stuff over and over again without getting bored too much?

hello hello! oof, i feel u. i always struggle with reviewing japanese on a regular basis - i think it can be especially hard when ur self-teaching bc it’s hard to motivate urself when there isn’t anyone else to keep u accountable. one thing i do recommend, if u haven’t already, is using memrise to review ur learned content. u can create ur own course (or if ur learning via genki textbooks, there’s a number of pre-made community courses for the grammar and vocab. it’s a looot easier to review stuff this way bc it’s available on the go and it’s repetitive (if u haven’t used memrise before, it’s like quizlet but for languages) and fun!

also, it might be a good idea to do language exchange? that way, ur practising ur learned concepts in a way that is more engaging. by talking to others u will also have the opportunity to learn new grammar and vocab so win win!!

#answered

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lilaviolet · 3 years

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I was tagged by the lovely

@madoddthings

1. Name: Leslie

2. Gender: A Woman

3. Star sign: Aquarius sun and moon!

4. Height: Five one and a half

5. Time: right now? 1:37

6. Birthday: February 12th sometime in the 80s

7. Favorite band: Pearl Jam I can go years without listening to them but nothing hits me like they do. Seeing them live is the best feeling in the world.

8. Favorite Artist: I dunno I guess Marina?

9. Song stuck in my head currently: Misery Business there was a post and it just came on spotify

10. Last movie you watched: No idea! I used to be a movie bitch but now I’m a TV bitch who has no attention span to actually watch TV Maybe Booksmart?

11. Last Series: BRIDGERTON

12: Blog age: I lurked for a few years just looking at the pretty gifs but in July 2013 something compelled me to actually create an account so I could leave little hearts. Four months later I re-blogged my first Sleep Hollow/Ichabbie gifset and the rest is me being fandom trash history. so 7 and a half years old

13. Content: I have no idea. This is just me being my most authentic self. Mostly re-blogs of thinks I like, love or am obsessed with. Plus a bit of politics and news. If you can’t stand my faves I don’t know how you could survive following me.

14: Last google: My hairdresser’s phone number

15. Side blogs: Yep! I finally gave in to my greatest desire and started a blog for all the Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens / El Generico/Kevin Steen content @thesamiandkevinshow I know it seems impossible but I was really restraining myself on here even though you guys probably couldn’t tell. My mutual was giving away the username and I just had to have it :)

16. Do you get asks: not really if I re-blog a list of questions a mutual will usually send one :)

17. URL Meaning: It was my livejournal username Lila (a name I liked better than mine at the time also the name of a character on General Hospital and Violet is a great song from my second favorite band Hole

18. Following: 228 I’m really picky if I follow you I think you’re a chill person I’d be friends with and/or your content is too good to miss.

19. Followers: 520 which is completely insane! I don’t know which of my many varied interests made you click that follow button but I hope my nonsense isn’t too annoying :) I’m ruthless about blocking bots I don’t know why. I worry I’ve blocked real people by accident tbh.

20. Average sleep hours: Sleep? I don’t know her! 4 hours is my usual but then I gotta take a long ass nap. I live on coffee.

21: Lucky number: I don’t really have any... maybe 7,8 and 21

22: Instruments: I have no talent I begged my parents for a bass guitar when I was 10 because it seemed like every band I was listening to had an awesome female bass player and I wanted to be one too! I have a medical condition with my hands that really should have stopped me or at least my parents from spending all that money :(

23. Clothes: Comfy and cozy. If I can get away with pajamas while lounging at home I do. I have a weird obsession with gray my friends have to physically stop me when we’re out shopping because I’m just drawn to it. There’s so many shades! It goes with everything. I don’t love black or white so gray is my neutral. I like solids and stripes. I own too may fandom shirts but I bagged my old wrestling tees and put them away, I only have like 7 currently in my rotation not counting my over sized Sami shirts I sleep in.

24. Dream job: Wrestling valet. I wanted to be (and kind of still do) Miss Elizabeth but with a big dash of Sensational Sherri. Like Miss Elizabeth just stood around but Sherri got physical with the guys and took bumps when the story called for it and I liked that. I wouldn’t want to be a full time wrestler because I’m not about pain, but bitch let me manage somebody male or female. Now it’s such an unpopular opinion everyone wants every girl to wrestle and I’m like bring back managers, valets, wives and girlfriends. Not very woman is so dedicated that she’s willing to break her neck or get that banged up. I can’t be the only one with this opinion lol.

25. Dream Trip: That’ll actually happen San Miguel’s Portugal. Dream that’ll never happen South Korea, Taiwan and Japan no one would go with me, but I‘ve dreamed of it since 2007.

26. Favorite Food: Junk food. Anything cooked in garlic. If I go out to eat Shrimp Mozambique I’ll settle for chicken Mozambique but it’s not the same. So spicy and flavorful great now I want to go eat some I don’t think anyone delivers it :(

27. Nationality?: I consider myself 100% American I was born here, as fucked up as this country is it’s my home. But if the Fascists take over I‘m praying Portugal will take pity on me. I’m eligible for citizenship I should have applied during The Bush Administration like my little cousin did but I was an optimist... I’m a dumb bitch.

28. Favorite Song: This Week? Don’t Go Away by Oasis

29. Last book: That I read ? I was going to be like it’s all fan fic for this bitch but I read the latest Amanda Quick novel and am patiently waiting for the next one!

I’d love everyone who sees this to do it. I’m shy with tagging people but for real if you follow me and want to do this tag me I’d love to see your answers!

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jbbuckybarnes · 4 years

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Professor Sugar - 3/7

Pairing: Student!Reader x Professor!Bucky Description: Like tons of other students you struggle with finances, but you can’t get any aid since your parents are filthy rich. The system doesn’t care that they broke off contact after you came out as bisexual. There is, however, someone else that cares. The prof of your class on PTSD and trauma. Professor Barnes. Warnings: Financial Instability, flirting with a teacher, feelings, mentions of PTSD and war, not beta read.

Professor Sugar Masterlist // Masterlist

After Office Hours

The week after you decided to visit him in his office hours to figure out where you lacked in your studies. The mission earning you a wiggling of brows from your roommate Samantha. „I think you struggle most with the medical part of these things. You‘re great at the psychological part and all the causes and symptoms. I just think your medical referencing could be a little better. Can‘t blame you, my course is for med students and psych students.“ He explained after reading through your study materials again and then your test. „Yay,“ You expressed monotone, „Wish I‘d get paid like that too, once I graduate.“ He smiled with a huff, „You remind me a lot of myself when I was in Junior year.“ „I hope that‘s a good thing, Bucky.“ You raised a brow with a playful smile. „A little bit of sass is always good.“ He chuckled and WOW...why was that so hot? There was a short silence when he put all your stuff back into a neat pile of papers. „So...how is the book?“ He asked interested with his attention fully on you. „Oh, it‘s really cool. I like it when I find out just how wrong stuff in movies is. The way they do shit and how much we don‘t know about is insane. They also did some horrible shit man. I‘m about 80% through.“ You smiled wide and he looked at you very content. „I‘m glad you like it. Would‘ve been shitty to spend $35 on something bad.“ He chuckled at you and almost looked cute. „Did that ever happen to you?“ You grinned and he nodded. „Have you ever seen psychology-based books? My god, half of them are absolute trash.“ He groaned and then laughed. „And what is the last good book you read?“ You dipped your head to the side. „Romance Novel. Forgot the name. The main character kinda has the same outlook on life that you have.“ He grinned. „What‘s that supposed to mean?“ You asked a little more playful again. „Been through shit, knows what she wants, works hard, asks for help, doesn‘t get played easily.“ He smirked at you and gosh were you attractive to him after this conversation. Where did that come from?

+Why was he suddenly so hot? You got a little flustered by the compliment. -He shouldn‘t, should not. +You would if you could. -Why did he now picture you leaned over his table naked? Shit! +You noticed him undressing you with his eyes. Why didn‘t it bother you? -The tension was so thick, cutting it with a knife would‘ve been easy.

„Why don‘t you start one of those study accounts. Heard there is money in that.“ He leaned back and changed the mood in the room. „My phone is from the last ice age and the good editing apps cost money.“ You shrugged. „Maybe just with your iPad notes for now?“ He shrugged and pointed at the pile of paper on the table. „Yeah...that might be an idea.“ You mumbled taking them and putting them back into your backpack.

You started studying for the course by rewriting notes in your Goodnotes app. Making them look nicer and organizing them in fun ways that made them easier to read and understand. You created that studying account like Bucky had suggested and started posting your notes on there, gaining a couple hundred followers in a short amount of time. He wasn‘t wrong, there was money in it as you found out with time. You realized your notes looked different to what most other study accounts posted but copied some of the stuff they were doing. Getting a hold of using an Instagram account in a business-manner wasn‘t as easy as you thought it would be. But at least it was fun and made you learn more and more so you could produce content. „Are you making new notes for Insta again?“ Sam peeked her head through your door. „Yup.“ You smiled over. „If you wanna borrow my phone for some nicer pictures you just need to ask.“ She grinned proudly. She had gotten a new phone from her parents at the end of the last semester. It was her whole pride in the midst of broke student life. „I‘ll keep it in mind. Are we watching Star Wars later?“ You looked back to your notes. „Baby Yoda doesn‘t like to wait.“ You both giggled as she closed the door.

After the next test about two weeks later you found an App Store card on your table with a little note. *Some people need to be self-made with a little help. -B* You smiled for a second before putting it away and listening to Bucky‘s presentation. PTSD in DID patients. After the lesson you went to him, realizing how weird it might look to others by now. You did it every time, but now that you had that little situation in his office, it became apparent that it could be interpreted wrong. „Bucky?“ „Yes?“ He smiled at you. „Can I ask you something a little more personal?“ You mumbled and had him nod back with attentive eyes. „Where do you take the money from to just give to me. It‘s not like professors make that much money.“ You asked straight forward. There was a short silence and a deep breath, „I was a prisoner of war with the army. That‘s why I started teaching about trauma. I just leave it out of my material since it‘s a depressing story. But that money I have is from the army paying me for the time I was a prisoner of war.“ His lips were a thin line. „God, I‘m sorry for asking.“ You were embarrassed. He grabbed your hand with both of his, „Don‘t be. Wouldn‘t be doing what I love otherwise.“

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