#i would NOT be like Okay time to spend $2000 on fucking flowers I have SHIT GOING ON

[andthebeanstalk]

"Oh, Jack. You silly boi. You know that help at the top of the stairs is no help at all."

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Art piece i may delete later about my parents offering money to me and my sisters to pay for either grad school (a thing I don't want and can't do with my disability) or my wedding (also a thing I don't need/want), but not for anything that would actually help me escape poverty and find stable housing and income.

Like, I recognize the privilege of being able to complain that my parents have offered me a bunch of money but in the wrong way.

But also if that money is on top of a flight of stairs that I can't climb (but my sisters can), then I haven't really been offered money, so much as I have watched money I need be placed somewhere I can't reach it. Which tbh feels worse than if it was never mentioned to me in the first place.

I was gonna send this art to them and i wrote this big long message to go with it, but then I decided to wait until my therapy session on Tuesday to talk it thru with her first, since I've literally never regretted doing that.

Besides, both of my parents are lawyers and right now they're providing me and my friends with a lot of free legal advice about this property we're trying to buy together, so I don't want to rock the boat currently.

I just wish I knew if I had access to that money as a poor person in need of stable housing and quality disability care, and I wish my parents weren't world-class hLepers who have a long and triggering history of engaging me in rigorous debate about the kind of help I should be allowed to receive from them as a disabled person.

Nothing like having to provide an argument that would hold up in court every time I'm sick and need help! Love that! Love that I can't even talk about money with them now without having invasive thoughts about it for days to come due to past incidences in which this repeated behavior of theirs literally endangered my life!!

Not like I need that mental capacity for working on the largest and most exciting opportunity of my life that also happens to line up with my hopes and dreams for the future!! It's fine!! What do I even need mental capacity for anyway?????

This wouldn't even be the first time this little Distrust Fund has caused problems for my relationship with my parents. They are very opposed to that money being used to help my disability and it has caused PROBLEMS for us that we have never quite recovered from.

It's just difficult to be reminded that although our relationship has gotten better (mostly thanks to me setting boundaries), that doesn't mean they now actually believe what I need for my disability when I tell them.

They really do love me, and they have only ever acted with the best of intentions . But good intentions cease to matter when the impact is harmful and repeated. And they have proven to be repeatedly incapable of providing non-ableist support for me again and again and again. They've even genuinely tried to learn; and sometimes it really seems like my mom has made progress with her therapist (who is disabled), but who knows when I can so jarringly be reminded of how quickly that toxic ableist thinking can show its ugly face.

It's so clear to me and they don't even know it's there.

It feels like I'm in a horror movie when I try to get them to understand their own ableism, and that is a good good sign that I may want to consider an approach that minimizes my mental damage instead. Even if it means I don't get their stupid, deeply-conditional-and-yet-the-conditions-are-SO-vague-and-they-won't-admit-it money.

#original #diary #ableism #ableism cw #if they actually trusted me they'd just give me the fucking money but WHATEVER #maybe it's cause of all those times i was really reckless and irresponsible with money-- OH WAIT. THAT HAS LITERALLY NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED #I GRADUATED BUSINESS SCHOOL WITH HONORS AND HAVE NEVER HAD ISSUES WITH OVER-SPENDING #maybe they subconsciously think I'm stupid w money bc I'm poor. but i doubt my sisters could just get the whole lump sum either. #I HAVE BEEN LIVING FRUGALLY MY ENTIRE ADULT LIFE YOU BASTARDS #I would say there's a 5% chance they pleasantly surprise me but I have to be careful not to spend too much energy on it #the invasive thoughts around my family's ableism are super aggressive and constant when they start #and so i would rather have no help than that stinky-ass hLep that hurts my brain and heart so bad for days after #hLep #anyway i don't want their help paying for a wedding bc i am housing insecure with no income and so is my wife #and besides that wedding planning is hard and stressful and involves either including or snubbing relatives i don't like #so like if you offer me thousands of dollars i would be like Great! More savings means more safety and security! #i would NOT be like Okay time to spend $2000 on fucking flowers I have SHIT GOING ON #if i have a wedding then the cost will be the cost of pizza for all the guests. #also govt says i can't get married or i lose my disability payments so ryan and I just decided we are married years ago #i need SO much disability care equipment that i don't have and i am unable to hold a standard full time job #but yeah sure maybe I'll go get another DEGREE despite my interests being completely non academic. fuck OFF. #i have been writing or making art about this all evening this is not how I wanted to spend the evening it is past 4am #hopefully this processing and drawing and journaling will allow me to remove this issue from the very forefront of my mind #it's a careful line to walk between processing and obsessing. but good processing helps you stop obsessing #hopefully I can save some of the more painful parts of this for therapy so I can focus on other stuff for the next couple days #listen if interacting with someone in a certain way makes you feel like you're in a horror movie then something needs to change #and sometimes the change is that we need to make literal and emotional distance between us and those people bc they aren't learning #okay okay time for edibles and a shower i fuckin earned it and even if i didn't I can do whatever I fucking want 👌 #and also I deserve nice things by default #and so do you

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Weekly Tag Wednesday !! Woohoo!

thank you for tagging me @jrooc, @mybrainismelted, @iansw0rld, and @lingy910y

Name: Gigi

Age: 24

Location: brooklyn baby!

And now, think about your childhood and tell me:

I'm thinking about 10 and under vibes, right?

Did you have a nickname and is it still used? Gigi! all you nice people and some of my friends call me that when they're being cute

What did you want to be when you'd grow up? I wanted to be an artist when i was really young, then i wanted to be a writer a lot of elementary/middle school, then i kept my options open through highshcool and last minute decided to go to architecture school and it was a very very good gut decision and in a way im an artist, fanfic writer, and soon to be licensed architect, best of all worlds!

Your favourite cartoon: when i was a kid me and my brother would wake up early to watch pokemon, I also liked the pbs show Sagwa, curious George (hey frank!) and clifford

Your favourite TV show: zoboomafoo !!!! fucking loved that guy!

Your favourite book: I had this book when i was a kid called Millions of Cats which was kind of a fucked up story and I would be very interested to see someone analyze what that book says about love. I also really liked Too Big bc look how cute the coloring is !

I also adored Ferdinand, I always thought that if i were to get a tattoo i would want to get Ferdinand sitting in his flowers

Your favourite toy: I just loved stuffed animals, I had so many

Your favourite thing to eat: Just like, soups in general. but my favorite was saimin which weirdly I cant STAND now. its like ramen but instead of ramen noodles its thick, gnarly egg noodles and take half the flavor out and just add salt, genuinely think it would give me heart attack now

Your favourite school subject: I really liked all subjects except I hated biology and I hated spanish, not bc the language is bad but bc my teacher was a white lady from colorado who im not really sure actually spoke spanish. I really loved physics and english and history and art

How did you spend your summers? I lived in a very safe place so free roam go to the or the beach near us, if you didnt like the kids in your neighborhood you were fucked cause those were our built in play mates and on the hottest days i would find the coldest part of my house and just lay on the tile reading all day

Did you listen to music? If yes, did you have a favourite band/artist?

my mom had the elite early 2000s music taste; amy winehouse, tracy chapman, dolly parton, green day, the chicks, tina turner, smashing pumpkins, spice girls, alanis morissette, jack johnson, Lauren hill, so good, I still listen to them all today

And lastly, tell me something you did as a kid that your parents still don't know about:

I used to cut pieces of my hair periodically with the kitchen scissors but it wasnt like super noticeable so my mom was just like i really cant figure out why your hair grows like this

I also took the bus by myself a couple times when i was wayy to young to but it was a really simple bus system so i just got on and went to town and took it back, idk seems like it worked out okay!

what about you? @juliakayyy @krysmiss @darlingian @gallavichroom @vintagelacerosette

#sgt says #tag game

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

Jigsaw Puzzle Bonding Time With The Brothers and Undatables

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Warning: Uncensored Swearing

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If there is something I know that serves as a good bonding time is getting one of those huge fucking Jigsaw puzzles, get a big ass table, sit everyone's butt down and start finding the corners.

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Lucifer

He bought the 2000 pieces cursed jigsaw puzzle for you after a lot of pestering (and the power of puppy eyes)

Helped set up a table in the common room and left you to your own devices, he has work to do.

He is the type that puts in a piece or two everytime he passes by the unfinished thing, refusing to participate the group session but still giving a helping hand.

Sometimes he can end up getting distracted and you may find him standing in an awkward position with a concentrated frown on his face as he tries to find the dammed piece tha t completes the part he is building, leaving the picture unfinished makes his perfectionist self have a nervous spasm.

If you call out his attention he may either (run away) go back to work or actually ask you to join him, teasing you whenever you are struggling and potentially turning the whole thing into too much of a heated atmosphere, like, does he need to sit this close he's basically on your lap-

Overall it is a very de-stressing thing he enjoys.

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Mammon

At first he was skeptical. What fun would a jigsaw puzzle be anyways? It takes too long and it has no purpose at all.

You may need to tell him to sit the fuck down and have a bonding time with you or else he is not going to focus on the thing.

The kind of guy that puts the wrong piece on the wrong spot and refuses to agree that it's wrong. They're all the same colors! How the hell is he supposed to work with this thing?!

He is only good at the corners because the pieces are different from all others, but once it's over he may end up getting a migraine from looking for pieces.

Either way he will still have fun because it's you. Even if it's killing his eyes if you are having fun he is happy.

You guys manage to finish the puzzle somehow.

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Leviathan

This boy loves it.

He may actually get too much into it just like he does with his games.

That said, now you guys have a full fucking collection of completed jigsaw puzzles you can use as decoration for the house or something.

Some of them are most likelly anime themed.

You will never finish a 10000 pieces jigsaw puzzle in so much little time than when you are with him.

He keeps most of the completed puzzles as if trophies in his bedroom, afterall, they were made with you!

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Satan

The nonchallant casual puzzle builder

The moment you sit down with him around the pieces, this man becomes a multitasking chatterbox.

He can easily finish big jigsaw puzzles in one single day, but he takes his time just so that he has some quality time with you~

It turns into a really fun experience specially since Satan isn't imune to mistakes but because he is very knowledgeable it just makes it more ridiculous.

You will catch him stopping on his tracks out of nowhere as he has to give the current piece he is holding a second, long glance.

Then he will proceed to glare at it and put it aside, he may look okay and back to normal but oh he is definetelly going to find where that one single fucking piece fits even if it is up Lucifer's ass.

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Asmodeus

Another multitasking chatterbox

Probably won't stay for too long, those pieces dry his skin and make his nose itch.

He's actually pretty good at it tho, seeing he most likelly has a good eye to spot color differences and such.

Will use the bonding time to spill the tea and trash others, but further into the session he may get relaxed enough to actually spill out some of his genuine feelings and emotions.

Puzzle bonding time may become a way for you both to have quality time together in a private setting that doesn't involve anything frisky.

He will flirt with you tho, it's part of the package. You signed up for it the moment you made the pact.

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Beelzebub

Choose the themes wiselly, if any of them resemble food he will eat the pieces.

Taking that out of the way, he enjoys it. May actually end up taking it too seriously and actually refusing to go sleep to finish the thing.

You will also get the experience to see Beel grabbing food and eating it without using his hands. He doesn't want to dirty the pieces afterall.

He is an average puzzle builder, but instead of building parts of it outside and only linking it together to the puzzle after it's done he is the type to build in said pictures right into the puzzle itself, picking pieces here and there and helping with many places at once.

Sit on his lap while you guys are at it and he will ascend back to the celestial realm.

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Belphegor

This bitch.

Will not take it seriously at the start.

Have you ever seen a picture of a jigsaw puzzle of a horse but instead of joining the pieces someone just organized the pieces together in the shape of a horse?

That someone is Belphie

There is a garden? He will take all the flower pieces and just, place them there, not even linking the pieces. What do you mean he has to, just because it's filled with empty spaces it does not make is less of a garden, and no he is not being dramatic what do you take him for.

Will actually start to help at some point. He is the type to build the pictures separatedly but just leaving them just where they were supposed to be but not actually linking the pieces to the puzzle.

Expect him to fall asleep at some point, most likelly in the middle of a conversation while holding a piece.

He will slowly fall sideways, let him perish.

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Solomon

Another bitch.

Just like Belphie but instead of putting the pieces on the spots they were meant, he just builds a whole fucking different picture.

Like how the fuck did you make an umbrella with those pieces, there isn't even one in the actual puzzle-

He will use a spell that will make this entire session into something more exciting.

That exciting ranging from being stuck inside the puzzle and bulding it from within to having the actual picture of the puzzle move around as you fucking build it.

He still manages to finish it.

What the fuck are you even Solomon

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Simeon

An asshole.

He is good at it, he knows exactly where the pieces fit, but he will still watch as you struggle with a smile on his face.

Will make so many ominous and mysterious comments the entire thing just feels like you are bulding up an ancient jigsaw puzzle that if ever finished would end the entire world except for you and you would need to live the rest of your days in isolation as you hear Simeon's voice in your mind everytime you make a decision repeatedly asking 'are you sure' with that fucking I-Know-The-Answer-But-I-Won't-Tell-You smile of his-

You take a break from the session because of a minor existential crisis

He decides to actually be normal when you come back and you both have a good time.

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Luke

Excited baby.

He is happy to spend time with you, will most likely bake cupcakes or cookies or some kind of snack for you guys to eat while at it.

Will get grumpy at some point because his eyes are getting tired and its making all pieces look the same.

He is so proud once it's finished tho.

Make it an re ocurring thing, finishing hard jigsaw puzzles always puts an extra layer of pride to his steps.

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Diavolo

Finding a spare time to spend with the demon lord is difficult, but thankfully whenever he is free he is happy to invite you over, specially if now he can use finishing the puzzle as an excuse.

He takes his sweet time. The puzzle is indeed basically an excuse to spend time with you so he won't make much effort, opting to talk while he casually looks at the pieces, mesmerized by them, and takes forever to actually link them, if at all. (He has grabbed one and just placed it back down many times).

He will have a bittersweet smile in his face with every completed puzzle.

He keeps every single of the completed ones as decoration everywhere in the castle.

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Barbatos

Oh the mysterious man.

Is he an expert at jigsaw puzzles? Is he just pretending to struggle to not make you feel bad?

Either way he is having a lot of fun.

Will also use it as an excuse to hang out with you but may not stay too long. More often than not your puzzle bonding sessions were interupted by something urgent or unexpected. Being the demon lord's servant is not easy.

Always has another jigsaw puzzle at ready whenever you guys finish one. It will most likelly have more pieces than the previous one, he likes increasing the difficulty of things.

Drinking tea while building jigsaw puzzles together at the dinner table? This is where you find it

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(Shout out to my best friend who gave me a 1500 pieces jigsaw puzzle as a birthday present that served as inspiration for this post)

#Obey Me! #Obey Me! Shall We Date? #Obey Me Lucifer #Obey Me Mammon #Obey Me Leviathan #Obey Me Satan #Obey Me Asmodeus #Obey Me Beelzebub #Obey Me Belphegor #Obey Me Solomon #Obey Me #Obey Me Simeon #Obey Me Luke #Obey Me Diavolo #Obey Me Barbatos #Obey Me Headcanons

[opaldraws]

Dandelion

Billy never thought that he would become a dad. Besides believing that it wouldn’t be possible for a person like him, he also was scared shitless. He’d seen first hand what happens when the wrong kind of person became a parent, he knew how screwed up things could get. He had this huge fear that he would ruin a kid’s life. And even though Steve had assured him countless times that Billy would be a fantastic dad if they were to have a kid, he also accepted that Billy wasn’t ready for fatherhood and he may never be. So Steve never pushed the idea.

Then Max had a baby.

Out of the pair, no one expected Billy would be the one hit with baby fever.

Max was only able to get three weeks of leave from her work, so Billy volunteered to help out with little Julien. Julien was precious: He slept for long hours and rarely cried, he loved playing peek-a-boo and was easily entertained by crinkly paper, and when he got especially fussy, all Billy had to do was put him in his swing and Julien would knock right out.

Billy would come home from Max and Lucas’ and gush to Steve about whatever him and Julien got up to that day. It was usually the same sort of stuff, babies don’t really do that much, but Steve would listen fondly to Billy’s report while they cooked dinner together. Eventually Max found a sitter and changed her work hours, so Billy didn’t spend as much time with the runt.

A few years passed and Billy mentioned having kids of their own. Steve and him were in bed, the light on the nightstand casting enough light for Billy to read but not too much that Steve couldn’t doze off.

“Steve.” Billy ruffled Steve’s hair gently, letting his hand wander down to rub his back. Steve blinked over at him sleepily, his eyes a little unfocused without his glasses.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, frowning.

“No, nothing’s wrong. I just… I’ve been thinking lately, maybe we could look into adoption?” Billy wrung his hands together nervously. When Steve didn’t answer immediately, Billy interjected, “Only if you want to, of course! Fuck, nevermind. It’s stupid, I shouldn’t have even brought it up.”

Billy picked his book up, not able to look back at his partner. Steve hadn’t seen him this nervous since Billy had asked him to marry him. This conversation caught Steve off guard- and not only because he was half asleep. They’d talked about kids before when they were freshly married (technically unofficially, but whatever), Billy said he didn’t think he’d ever want to go down that path. And now, Billy was bringing it up.

“Babe, it’s not stupid.” Steve said seriously. “I want to do that with you.”

...

Adoption for two gay men in 2000 wasn’t easy. They were basically at the bottom of the ‘list’ of candidates and they’d been through multiple near adoptions that eventually fell through in just the past two years. Steve was beginning to lose hope, but Billy stayed determined. He called the adoption agency every week and he stopped by in person once a month. Steve told him he was probably bothering the agency, he said that they had their application and when the right kid came along, everything would work out. Billy’s perspective wasn’t quite as rose-colored as Steve’s: He realized that the agency didn’t want a same-sex couple adopting a baby. They may not outright say it, but he could tell. Billy wanted to show them that they were just as serious as any other couple.

In November of 2001, they got the call from the agency. The weekend before they brought their daughter home, Billy and Steve prepared the second bedroom for their new addition. Steve excitedly put up a fresh coat of paint while Billy struggled through assembling furniture for the bedroom. When they finished, they stood side by side in the doorway, misty eyed and excited for their daughter’s homecoming.

“We’re going to be parents.” Steve sighed, he let his head fall to Billy’s shoulder.

“Fuck, I’m so scared.” Billy admitted. He took a deep breath and tried to ease the panic creeping in. Steve gently wrapped his arms around him, pulling Billy in to hold him. Billy sagged into the hug.

“I am too, but I know it’s gonna be okay.” Steve said.

“How could you know that though?” Billy asked fearfully. So many things could go wrong, what if this was a mistake? Steve tightened his arms around Billy and leaned them against the doorframe.

“Because I know you. I’ve seen you grow into the man you are today and I know you’re going to be an amazing dad.”

...

Billy knew that for every developmental milestone that Abby passed, he should be excited. Don’t get him wrong, he was beyond happy to see his daughter growing and becoming a little person… but he also got sad? Abby was growing up so fast, one day she was crawling around on the carpet and the next she was racing around the apartment wreaking havoc. It felt like only a few days ago she drooled and needed to be spoon fed, now she was talking in barely formed sentences. Sometimes Billy would just curl up next to Steve in bed at night and have to cry about how big Abby was getting. Steve would rub his back, comforting his partner as best as he could. These breakdowns started happening more frequently as Abby’s 2nd birthday got nearer and nearer. Billy was aware that he was being dramatic, but his little girl was growing up way too fast. He felt like he was going to blink and then she’d be gone, old enough not to need her dads anymore.

“Billy, stop worrying about the future, Abby’s barely two! You have got to just live for today.” Max scolded him during one of Abby’s and Julien’s playdates after he had opened up to her. It was a sunny June day and Julien was happily keeping Abby occupied on a blanket in Lucas and Max’s yard. Lucas had been called out of town for a work emergency and Steve had gotten stuck covering a late shift. The step-siblings watched the kids from the porch, periodically bringing out new toys and snacks.

“Yeah, that’s what Steve keeps telling me. That’s what everyone keeps telling me, shitbird.” Billy huffed, rolling his eyes. “I can’t help it!”

“Listen to me, I felt the same way. Every time I had to go into work, every time I left Julien with you or Lucas, or the babysitter, I was so afraid that I was missing out on his childhood. Even when I was with him, all I could think about was how I could never get this moment back. But it’s useless to think that way! I realized that I couldn’t stop time from passing so I needed to enjoy it while it lasted!” Max insisted. She grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Billy squeezed back. Even though Max was younger than him, he appreciated the wisdom she occasionally provided. He was happy that their days of fighting and heated arguing were left behind at the house on Cherry Lane.

Billy looked out at the yard, he watched the way Abby would giggle when Julien ran circles around her with his toy airplane. She made grabby hands at him and squealed, “My turn!” Julien passed the toy plane to her and she zoomed it around. Max gave his shoulder a hard pat and announced that she was going to get food ready. Billy walked over to the rainbow blanket and sat down beside the duo.

“Daddy attack!” Abby jumped up, discarding the airplane to wrap her arms around his shoulders and climb onto his back. He held onto her chubby little legs and she laughed into his ear. He tried not to dwell on the future, let himself enjoy the moment. “Down.” Abby instructed him and he helped her back to the ground. She plucked a nearby dandelion from the ground and held it to Billy triumphantly. “Present for you.”

“Thank you baby, I love it.” He smiled at her, taking the dandelion. She beamed at him, clearly happy that her gift was well received. He tucked the yellow flower into the breast pocket of his shirt. Julien came bounding up to them excitedly, hiding something behind his back.

“I have a present for you too, Uncle Billy!” Julien grinned and offered him a wiggling pink worm clasped between his fingers. Billy chuckled and took the worm and Julien bounded off - probably to find more worms.

Abby went back to playing with the airplane and some of Julien’s matchbox cars. She pretended that Billy’s arm was the road and rolled the cars over it, back and forth. Every so often, she would show Billy a new car, telling him which color it was or if she liked it or not. Steve had been working on colors with her a lot recently, and Abby had gotten into the habit of pointing out the colors of things frequently. It was really adorable and she always looked proud when she got the color right. And when Billy would catch those intrusive thoughts about the future, he gave it his all not to dwell on them and instead focus on Abby rolling her car over his arm. Max rejoined them with a big plate of fruit and sandwiches to share for an early dinner, calling Julien over to eat.

Before Billy knew it, a few hours had passed and the sun was beginning to set. He helped Max bring all the toys back in the house and the kids savored the last few minutes of light while they cleaned up. Billy caught a glimpse of the clock on his trip inside; It was nearing 7pm and Steve would be arriving soon to pick them up. Billy and Max tried to coax the kids inside with the promise of a movie, but Julien had other ideas.

“Five more minutes? Please? Momma, I wanna see the fireflies!” Julien tugged at Max’s pant legs, giving her his best puppy dog eyes. “I promise I’ll be good for bedtime!” For a five year old, Julien was quite the negotiator. Of course Max caved which meant that Abby also got to chase the growing number of fireflies blinking around the yard. Billy couldn’t help but grin watching the cousins running around- and periodically jumping up- to try and catch the glowing bugs. After struggling to jump high enough to reach any of the fireflies, Abby pouted at Billy.

“Hold me?” She asked and how could Billy say no? He lifted her up in the air and she swung her little hands around, attempting to catch at least one bug. Billy could tell that she was getting frustrated when each time she came back fruitless. Abby got distracted by Julien showing Max all of the bugs he had captured, a faint green-ish yellow glow coming from his closed fists. “Daddy! Want one.” Abby’s chin wobbled - one of her tell tale signs that a meltdown was coming.

“Okay honey, I’ll get you one.” He smiled and moved her so that she was propped on his hip. They walked slowly around the yard together and Billy caught one for her. He helped her get it in her hand and her eyes widened. “Now you’ve got to be real careful, you don’t want to squish it right?” Abby shook her head no, wanting to keep her new friend forever. Billy watched the way she would peek into her fist to catch a glimpse of the small bug, finding it sweet how gentle she treated it. She kissed the top of her hand and said “I love you” to the tiny insect hidden within. Billy was so transfixed with her that he didn’t notice Steve’s arrival; It startled him when a hand met the small of his back. Abby lit up even more once she saw Steve.

“Papa look! Bug!” She opened up her hand to show Steve the bug, but the firefly took the opportunity to make its escape and flew off into the night sky before Abby could close her hand. She gasped and tried to reach for it in a futile attempt. Here comes the meltdown... or so Billy thought.

“Oh Abby, it was such a beautiful firefly! Looked like it was a really good flyer too huh?” Steve smiled and Abby only pouted a little. “Now it’s going to go home and tell all of its friends about you. And we gotta go home too sweetheart, it’s getting pretty late. Let’s say bye to Julien and Aunt Max, okay?” Steve was great at de-escalating a situation, he always knew exactly the right thing to say to stop Abby’s tears. Billy put Abby back down on her feet so that she could go over to Max and Julian to say goodbye. Steve turned to Billy and gave him a quick peck on the lips before taking his hand and walking them over to the trio waiting for them.

“Seems like you were able to get out of your head today, I’m glad.” Max said to Billy during their hug.

Once their farewells were said and done and they were all loaded up into Steve’s car, the small family made the short drive back home. Steve’s hand rested over Billy’s atop his thigh, periodically giving it a light, reassuring squeeze.

Back home, Steve carried a sleepy Abby in from the car and straight to her bed (he hated for her to miss brushing her teeth, but made an exception because of the long day she had had). While Steve helped Abby get settled in, Billy headed into their bedroom. He picked one of the heavier hardcover books off the bookshelf and pulled the dandelion out of his pocket. He tucked the wilting flower between the pages, saving it so that he could remember the day. Steve came into the bedroom as he was reshelving the book, he walked straight to Billy and wrapped his arms around him.

“Had a good day?” Steve asked. Billy twisted in his grip, turning to face Steve. They shared a few slow kisses, with no intention to escalate, only to be in each other’s space after being apart for the day. Billy pulled back, hands still holding onto Steve’s waist securely.

“Yeah, it was really good.” He smiled. Sure Abby was growing up, but they had so many years ahead of them, so many warm summer days just like this one. Although Billy didn’t expect he could completely quell his anxieties about the future, he was ready to start enjoying the moments as they happened.

#harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #dads!harringrove #my fic

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 133 Thoughts

They’re trying to stop the apocalypse but they’re dummy traumatized and the clap of their sins keeps alerting the glow tree.

Kids, just remember: Body count doesn’t matter, it’s how you feel while producing that body count. If you’ve killed people to stop genocide, you are not immune to being party to genocide. ⭑⭒⋆

I’m being reductive because I’m not too eager to go over how not all murder is created equal again.

Going by a good faith read, I do think what the narrative is attempting to establish is that these characters all know what it’s like to be backed into a corner and do desperate things they’re horrified by.

Putting aside the extra psychological difficulties of his childhood preceding the choice to knock down the wall, Reiner believes he’s saving humanity. There’s an island full of devils, and he’s attacking them. He, Bertolt, and Annie are dumb kids who do what they’re told. Because they think it’s right, or because they want to go home, or just because they are dumb kids.

Armin’s killed plenty of people with the power of the Colossus. He can’t plead innocence; he attacks Liberio’s port intentionally, knowing exactly what terror the people on the ground will be going through.

Connie kills the friends he’s trained with for years, when the worst thing about Reiner and Bertolt revealing themselves is feeling betrayed by comrades he loves.

None of this is directly equivalent. Dumb children at war are trying their best. Always, this conflict has been orchestrated above their pay grade. RAB get abandoned behind enemy lines and are told to make the best of it. Armin destroys Marley’s port because Marley will not stop going after Paradis, and Eren has forced a renewed conflict that they need to move against fast. Connie betrays his friends because they’re okay with letting the rest of the world die.

No one on this ship has enjoyed any of this. They have consistently been doing their best with the information given to them while people with more power drag them into fights that never should have happened.

Shiganshina falls because Marley chooses to murder Paradis.

Liberio falls because Eren turns himself into Paradis’ only hope and puts himself into a situation he can’t win alone.

In the crudest way of putting it, these people are grunts. They’re not the ones who picked the game being played. They’re the ones being manipulated into war after war.

That’s why they look at each other without counting the bodies. It isn’t the scale of their actions that hits at this moment, it’s the decisions they’ve made to be part of it. They choose to keep fighting. When it creates an outcome they hate, what can they say? ‘Look what you made me do’?

Whatever their reasons, and whoever set up the board, they are the ones who participate. In this case, pure moral imperative is the driving force. Daz and Samuel die because they’re willing to let genocide go uncontested. That’s on them.

Guilt doesn’t work like that, though. Daz and Samuel die because they are killed. Connie kills them. He betrays their trust.

All of this is to say that the people on the ship truly do understand each other perfectly, even despite the difference in scale. It’s a bit on the nose, but I don’t think anything they’re going through is at odds with the people they are.

Applying that feeling to Eren is a feat of misguided grace that... hell, I don’t know.

As a human person, I like grace as a concept and want more of it. I don’t want the world to burn, I want the burning to stop, and for everyone to be okay in the end even if they don’t deserve it. A world where we all get precisely what we deserve seems an incredibly dark place to me. That doesn’t leave room for mercy or kindness. You get what you earn, and nothing more.

The more time we spend on this portion of the story, the more I’m inclined to think that the themes agree with me. Our heroes at this point aren’t full of the rage they’re entitled to. Every inch of them is tired, and they’re not here for more death. They’re willing to keep going, but even the thought of killing Eren, when he’s massacred thousands, makes them all hesitate.

Everyone wants to go home and have the fighting stop.

That’s all.

Whatever happened, and whose fault it is -- forget all of it, just give them a place to rest and have it be over.

Thematically, yay. I approve. Beautiful. We start out with a series that makes a name for itself almost entirely on the back of the spectacle of violence, and after years of participating in that violence, the main cast wants nothing to do with it anymore. Love it.

Within the plot, I am not in the mood to have Eren’s traumatized friends apologize for not understanding him.

I get it.

I get why they all feel this way.

I do not like reading it.

They’re projecting their own guilt on someone who has shown a reckless disregard for their lives and sanity.

They’re trying to reach Eren as a human being and friend when he’s done his absolute best to make himself unreachable.

That’s sort of the point Reiner thinks is being made. Eren has intentionally set them up as his adversary so that if he has to be doing all of this, maybe there’s still a chance someone can stop him.

Okay, fine.

It falls short for the same reason all of Eren’s stuff is falling short.

We don’t actually know what the fuck is going on with him. We’re guessing.

You know those picture puzzles you do as a kid? Draw a line from bubble 1 to bubble 2 to bubble 3, and eventually you will make a bunny. Or a dog, or flowers, or something that looks like a picture in the sloppy mess of numbers.

Eren’s general portrayal matches that of a toddler who doesn’t yet know his numbers, and understands the instructions to be that he’s trying to get to the last bubble by scribbling lines through all the other bubbles.

Look, it’s a bunny.

And Eren’s friends are all like, oh wow, that’s such a good job! We’re going to put it on the fridge!

Then people come over and are like, why is there a constellation of a deer jumping through a house on the fridge, but they hear the child did it and immediately are like, oh yeah, that’s the best bunny I’ve ever seen, I can’t draw like that.

The child, being a child, is like, ‘Damn right. I’m going to be in bunny museums.’

Meanwhile, I’m just going to come out and say it.

It’s not a fucking bunny.

What it is, I don’t know, but it is not a bunny, stop calling it a bunny, it is actively erasing the knowledge of what a bunny looks like in my mind.

So ends this skit on what Eren’s portrayal has been like.

Eren has decided that this is all necessary. He doesn’t like it, and wants someone to stop him, but he is totally going to do it, and he knows he’s going to do it because future vision told him so and he’s really sad about that even though he’s emotionally in a place where genocide sounds like the only way out but that is wrong.

I think I’ve said before that Eren getting to this place mentally isn’t too off the rails. His sanity has been deteriorating with each mission, and he’s nineteen. Snapping like this could arguably be expected.

But the last we see of Eren’s thoughts, we still have this back and forth of how he refuses to yield the future to fate, but he already feels condemned by that future because he chooses to cause it.

Eren is clearly trapped by this web of contradictions, but his motivational core is so obstructed that it’s hard to actually connect to. It is easier to say that Eren’s gone off the deep end than it is to spend any amount of time asking how Point A became Point 3.

That’s frustrating, as a reader. I don’t want to be told a story, I want to experience it.

Eren’s experiences are not universal.

I need some hand-holding here. There needs to be a few more clear indications of Eren The Person, and how the individual we know wrapped around to making these choices.

Hooray, he’s not taking away their powers.

The guy he let run his cult still nearly killed all of them.

Hooray, he’s protecting his island.

He just actively courted an international incident so everyone wants the island dead.

Yes, Eren thinks that hope is lost before he makes these choices. That’s how moving forward drags him to this place; he doesn’t have the vision to imagine a world where this isn’t happening.

If you don’t fight, you can’t win, and Eren’s still fighting. But he’s forgotten what winning looks like. All he knows is the dreary march forward.

I would like for that to be explicit, not me extrapolating. Because even as I’m typing all of that, and feeling like it makes sense, it has the confidence of tissue paper, and I know my numbers, but half the numbers making this bunny were missing, and I’m not an artist.

The story I’m digging around here for is one I could like, but I don’t trust that it’s actually the one being told, because too much feels unexplained and weird. You can’t just make your main character nuts and use that as an excuse for anything.

Well, okay, you can.

You shouldn’t.

Please don’t do that.

Which I guess leads us to Eren and OG Ymir doing a Shining twins thing.

Here is my wild speculation.

The Attack Titan is the only Titan capable of resisting the Founder. It cannot be controlled, it simply continues forward, fighting for freedom.

When Eren talks to Ymir, her eyes losing their shadows are the cue for him taking full control of the Founder.

Now we’re back here, and her eyes are shadowed again, with Eren’s joining the ride.

I think that where we’re going to end up is that Eren’s mental fragility made him incredibly susceptible to the Attack Titan’s core nature, and enough of that nature aligned with Eren’s that everything except pursuing a way forward fell away. The Attack Titan is Ymir’s furious will, and she’s had it suppressed for 2000 years. I don’t think either one is emotionally capable of surfacing and deciding to resist the urge to march forward and destroy this world that has cursed them so.

Making my theory that yeah, okay, Eren’s lost it, but he lost it with the help of ancient plot magic, which we are now seeing the full extent of.

Does that have any basis in anything?

Who the fuck knows.

But one thing is very clear: Eren’s not free.

“In order to gain my own freedom... I will take freedom away from the world. [...] You are all free.”

The Attack Titan “has always moved ahead, seeking freedom. It has fought on for freedom.”

Eren, embodiment of the Attack Titan, is the first one to hear Ymir in 2000 years. Going with the vaguely logical theory that Titans are all pieces of Ymir herself, the Attack Titan is the part that rebels against every indignity she bows to in life.

Zeke frees the Founder from its promise of peace. Eren frees Ymir from the chains tying her to the royal family’s will.

All that’s left is 2000 years of trauma, and the ability and will, for the first time, to lash out.

It’s not what you’d call surprising.

It’s the getting here that I take issue with. Now that we’re here, yeah, got it. But I really don’t feel like Eren’s journey here has been done well enough to capture the emotional rawness that is trying to be accessed. His friends are shouting for someone who is effectively dead, for all the presence he’s showing.

Then you’ve got Annie and Kiyomi sad.

ON A BOAT.

While Falco wants to be a Titan with WIIIIIIIIIIINGS.

Kiddos, you’re very cute, and I support you not wanting to sit still and do nothing while the world is ending, but I can’t begin to express how little I care.

Except that your families are alive and you two and Annie deserve to be reunited.

SO FINE, OKAY, FALCO CAN HAVE HIS WINGS AND SAY HI TO HIS PARENTS AND GABI CAN SAY HI TO HER PARENTS AND ANNIE CAN SAY HI TO HER DAD AND IT’LL ALL BE FINE DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE GOING TO DO ABOUT EREN?

BECAUSE YEAH, I’M SURE THE AIRSHIPS ARE JUST GOING TO SPLODE HIM AND END ALL OF THIS AND EVERYONE WILL HOLD HANDS AND SING SONGS THAT THE EVIL HAS BEEN DEFEATED AND THAT WILL BE THE END OF IT.

Conversation: FAILED

Attack: probably FAILED

GO AHEAD, MANGA. SHOW ME THE DEUS EX MACHINA. I’M NOT GOING TO LIKE IT, BUT I AM PREPARED FOR IT.

inb4 yeah they just are going to bomb Eren with Armin that’s how we end this.

133 status: Still Looking For A Win Condition (This Ain’t It Chief)

#Shingeki no Kyojin #SnK 133 #shingeki no spoilers #SnK spoilers #Survey Corps #tl;dr #chapter post

[ziracona]

Dwight/Jake wedding headcanons maybe? They deserve it.

For sure!

It’s a couple years down the road. They’ve been living in the Indiana house with Adam, while the others orbit in and out from Springwood and Lockport and Haddonfield and Indianapolis and Bloomington and New Jersey and Missouri and New York and such every few days. It’s peaceful and fun there for them. Woods, big house, familiar smells and people and memorobelia and Ron’s grave and markers added nearby for Vigo and Alex and Lisa and Sujan and the person from the lab with no name and the survivors who came before them and never got to be buried. It’s home. They’re just chilling, Dwight and Jake talking with intent but also very relaxed about something while Adam edits a sequel in his easy chair, deep in edit mode, when Jake calls over, “Hey Adam, do you want to be a best man, or do you want to marry us?”

Which Adam hears the wrong homophone for for a second and almost takes him out before he realizes they meant the other version of ‘marry’ and remembers how to breathe again.

He stutters out a, “Well, I, uh—I mean, I can do whichever you’d prefer, but I’m not ordained. In. Anything. I know I did Min and Nea’s, but—”

“—Yeah, we know, but we just need it to be legal,” Jake shrugs, “and we don’t want a stranger at the wedding period, so someone’s getting ordained.”

“I think you can get ordained online in like an hour,” adds Dwight helpfully, “and we’re not religious either, but—and now that I’m saying this it was Meg so that means I should make sure becuase sometimes her memory for numbers is uhhh bad, but she told me like a week ago you only need ten people to officially get your new religion recognized. And we could be ‘the survivors’ or something. I don’t know I believe in much, but I believe in that.”

Jake nods. “Whatever is true, this group of people can rip a hole in the fabric of the universe for each other. I’d ascribe to that.”

“I kind of like that,” says Adam, “I would too. But if we have a spiritual ‘leader’, wouldn’t Ace be a better choice than me? Or Jane?”

This is considered a good point and they debate between Adam, Jeff, Tapp, Jane, and Ace for a bit, [Philip is also briefly considered, but they realize just as fast he’d be overwhelmed and stressed by having to do it & mercifully swap him to another role], then decide on Ace, who’s always been the kind of...not exactly dad, not exactly uncle, but not not those things, and certainly some kind of an early spiritual or morale core for them, parentish figure, and a comfort and hope leader for them all. Also, they know he’ll get a fkn kick out of being ordained for this.

Dwight takes Quentin as his Best Man, Claudette his Maid of Honor, and Jake takes Nea as Matron of Honor, Andrew as Best Man, and Meg as Maid of Honor. They decide fuck it, and it’s kinda Parks & Rec (an argument used by and against Jake many times the next few weeks) anyway, and also both take Adam and Philip as Best Men because fuck it, it’s too hard and also wedding rules are arbitrary and made to be broken, and so then Jake adds Kate as a bridesmaid, Dwight adds Laurie, they realize the number of survivors is dwindling dangerously and decide fuck it, our wedding is for us might as well be fkn weird and cool, and add David, Min, Tapp, Jane, Jeff, and Laurie as groomsmen and bridesmaids too. This still leaves Michael, Anna, Sally, Benedict, Susie, Jeff’s three Legion kids, and everyone’s families which is like fkn a lot of people, to be audience party (sans Nancy, who is pleaded with to be wedding party and run the music pre-reception because the number of people that they want involved /and/ who won’t give in to or be tricked by Meg into some kind of terrible flash mob stunt is very small, and in fact, basically is just Nancy. She is happy to do it and thinks their desperate reasoning is hilarious).

They break the news to Meg and Claudette and Ace first (after Adam), ask Ace to marry them, and tell Meg she can run post-weddding/reception music however she wants, except the songs for a couples dance & parent dances. She is /thrilled/. Claudette is very happy and cries. They call up Quentin & Nea to add to the conversation and Jake says Nea and Meg and Susie are in charge of setting up the wedding because he knows they’re gonna fight him for the role anyway, but they have to throw whatever they can together with only the stuff they own already and $50, they want only family & the other survivors/their families at the wedding, the service short and sweet, and to have it at the cabin, by the river. Meg loses her mind with indignance and joy together, and goes buckwild. They hit thrift shops for fairy lights and streamers and more.

Everyone is thrilled to be asked, Jane says “about time,” and Philip can’t think of anything to say and gets overwhelmed emotionally and taken off guard to be asked to be a groomsman. It’s sweet. Everyone with fashion sense takes everyone else shopping or through their wardrobes for fun wedding clothes and to at least have accent pieces that match a color theme. (Complimentary blues, yellow/gold, and pinks to the grooms’. More on that). It’s super fun & they make a fashion show of it. There’s no matching in form, just color, which is just the best version anyway there’s really no goddamn reason to spend thousands of bucks on a wedding when you could just have a funky cute good time with the people who love you & no stress.

Jake picks a deep blue hanbok (bc the hottest Jake I’ve ever seen is the one @eggchef did for lunar new year & the note in the tags about an actual hanbok has been banging around in my head ever since), and when they’re going through stuff for Dwight, he comments a pink one is surprisingly nice because it’s not the color he’d expected to think about, and Jake remarks offhand that if they do deep blue and pink they’ll be stealing their girls’ looks, and the second he says that, they both know there’s no other choice now. Dwight gets a light pink suit and a tie that matches Jake’s blue. They’re adorable and both look exceedingly handsome.

The wedding is short and perfect. Ace does a great job, it’s a nice day, and Meg works wonders with her $50 budget and (notably obscenely large) preexisting store of party supplies, + help from her mom who is passing down the legacy of being the best tiny budget party planner on earth. It’s very open, but with near arches and dangling glass and prisims that cast rainbows everywhere, lots of meaningfully chosen for their blessings and symbolism flowers and flower chains from Claudette. It’s a little reminiscent of the birthday decorations Min and Nea did plus the prisims, and that accidentally makes all the survivors super emotional like 1 minute in.

Only the moms get to speak in the wedding (besides Ace and the grooms), and Andrew and Meg and Nea and Quentin and such all gotta save their roasts for the reception. It’s sweet. Ace knows them super well and it shows in the best way. The grooms write their own vows, and both echo their statements in the hatch tunnel without knowing the other was going to do so too. Jake starts with an “I am deeply, unendingly, ridiculously in love with you,” and Dwight brings in a, “I wouldn’t be who I am without you.” They end it with Dwight saying, “Will you still stay with me, now that it’s all over? Through whatever we’re thrown to next?” And Jake replying, “Wherever you go, I’ll always follow.”

I cry.

The reception is a party by the house. It’s just a huge prepared buffet made by the family who can cook, so no one has to sit and wait. Meg starts the music with Cascada’s Evacuate the Dance Floor because she doesn’t “want to see people dragging their feet like a bunch of fuckin weenies, I want asses on that dance floor!” There’s a lot of 90s and early 2000s pop, but also many many classic dance songs. Lots of ABBA. Lots of it. Everyone has great fun. Min, Nea, Susie, and Meg made the playlist, except for a few of the specific dances. Muriel Fairfield’s mother-son dance with Dwight is to Song For Ten by Neil Hannon because he knows she’s a sweet big emotional nerd and it’s the song she wants, and he’s willing to do it, and she sobs and is a mess but also the happiest she’s been since the day she got the call he was alive.

They have literally zero idea where they’re going when they drive off for a honeymoon. They’re like “Uhh so I’ve been looking at our complete and utter lack of wedding structure and planning as a good thing? But we might have overstepped that a little here....”

Dwight drives while Jake searches the web for LGBT safe honeymoon locations because there’s nothing that would ruin a trip more than that not working out, and reads off a list and Dwight is like, “Wait wait holy fuck, I though you meant what US cities or maybe Canada. Switzerland? Do we even have cash for the plane fare somewhere like that?” And Jake just looks at the page silently for a few seconds, shuts the laptop, and without expression says, “...I really hate this, but I’m gonna let myself be a rich boy, just once.”

They take Andrew’s jet to New Zealand (Jake calls him and listens for 2 minutes then just monotone goes “Okay but you owe me for being a dipshit for fifteen years,” and they get the ride). Jake picks a relaxed pace and some scuba diving, some hikes, but no overnight camping. Lots of just seeing the world and holding hands and grinning at how absolutely breathless and shocked Dwight is at every chunk of nature like nothing he’s seen before. They are disgustingly, blissfully happy.

#ask #anonymous #dead by daylight #in living memory (fic) #in living memory #ILM spoilers #long post #parkfield #dwake #Jake park #Dwight Fairfield

[sortasirius]

Timers (15x09 Coda)

Pairing: Dean/Cas

Words: 1450

AN: Y'all know I had to do it to em.  Wow WHAT AN EPISODE AMIRIGHT???  Anyway, they gay.  Hope you guys enjoy! :)

Read on AO3 here!

Dean wakes up.  Alone.  His head hurts.

Looking around, he sees no one.  The Leviathan, Cas, gone.  Nothing but him, a broken angel trap, and a still smoking Leviathan to keep him company.

Fucking Purgatory, man.

Dean remembers, like a flash of lightning across a stormy Kansas sky, the first time he was here, how he spent a year looking for Cas, though he only called him “the angel.”  Didn’t want the monsters to realize how incredibly important he was to Dean.

“Cas?” he calls out, thinking that, surely, Cas had fought the Leviathan and gotten away.  Just like last time. 

No one answers.  A pit in his stomach begins to form.  He tries again.

“Cas?”

His voice echoes across the clearing.  He knows he’s drawing too much attention to himself.  It’s not like he’s alone here, there are god knows how many monsters that want his blood lurking in every shadow.  But, he never had much sense when it comes to Cas.

Nothing.  No movement.  No khaki trench coat coming through the trees. 

“Okay,” Dean whispers, squaring his shoulders and reminding himself that he doesn’t have time to be afraid, “Find the angel.  Take two.”

He spends the next few precious hours walking through the unending forests of Purgatory, generally back to the rift created by Michael.  He keeps an eye on the clock, and, as the seconds turn into minutes turn into hours, the desperation in his heart grows. 

He nearly breaks into a panic attack when he sees what looks like a trench coat piled next to a tree.  He scrambles to it, tripping over his own feet in his haste to get to it.  He grabs at the pile, terrified of seeing blank blue eyes staring up at him.

Leaves crunch under his hands.

He huffs out a relieved laugh.  He keeps going.

As time ticks by, he starts breathing harder, his throat sore from calling Cas’ name over and over, but that doesn’t stop him.

“Cas?”

He checks his phone again.  29:55.

What the hell is he supposed to do?

“No, no, no,” he breathes out, looking around, trying to will Cas to come back.  To come back to him.

You couldn’t forgive me, and you couldn’t move on.  You were too angry.  I left, but you didn’t stop me.

The words echo in his head, bouncing off the walls like one of those shitty 2000s screensavers that he and Sam would stare at when the research had been stalled.

Be honest, a voice in the back of his head tells him.

And Dean begins doing what he had done every single unending night in Purgatory.  He prays.

“Cas?” his voice is quieter than he expected it to be, he had intended to speak normally, but something was different here.  Something had always been different here.

“Cas I hope you can hear me.  That wherever you are, it’s not too late.”

I need you to come back, he tries to say, but he couldn’t lie in Purgatory, he had never been able to, and the words that he had fought for nearly eleven years to push into the tiniest part of the back of his mind made their way to the front, falling out of his mouth before he could stop them.

“I shoulda stopped you.  You’re my best friend, but I just let you go, cause that was easier than admitting I was wrong.”

He feels the tears, hot, stinging the cool air around him.  He lets them come.  He lets the weight of what he’s done, the idea that it might be too late, that things with Cas, because he will find Cas, he always finds Cas, are too damaged, too broken.  His knees buckle at the thought and he hits the forest floor, the roughness of the bark of the tree he clings to the only thing that keeps him from floating away.

“I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know that- I know that it’s always been there, and when things go bad, it comes out.  And I, I can’t stop it.  No matter how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it.  And I, I forgive you, of course I forgive you.  I’m sorry it took me so long-”

He breaks off.  Not even Purgatory could drag that admission out of him.

“I’m sorry it took me til now to say it.  Cas, I’m so sorry.  Man, I hope you can hear me.  I hope you can hear me.”

He looks around.  He waits for the angel.

The angel doesn’t come.

He never did here, anyway.

“Okay.”

Dean stands, forcing his legs to keep working, keep moving, keep looking for the angel.

Five minutes.  He can see the rift, glowing in the distance. 

Where are you?

2:56.

Please.  Please.

“Dean.”

He lifts his gun.

There’s the angel.  He has blood on his face, but he’s there, alive.

“Cas?”

Cas stands, shaking the dirt and the moss of his coat.

“You made it.”

“I made it?”

Cas stumbles towards him, and Dean hugs him with all he has, letting out the kind of breath he didn’t even know he was holding.  Cas is warm despite the chill, his hands grip Dean’s back, and, despite the fact that Dean wants to stand there with him forever, he lets him go.  They’re on a schedule after all.

“You okay?”

“Fine.”

He’s lying, he has that little crease in between his eyebrows he gets when he lies.  Dean doesn’t know if Cas knows he sees things like that.

“What happened?”

“They were after me, not you, I figured it would be safest to give myself up.”

“They take you to Eve?”

“Yeah, we were en route.  I waited until I saw this.”

Cas, beautiful, amazing, incredible Cas pulls out the ugliest looking flower in the universe.  A Leviathan blossom.

“It got a little...smushed.”

Cas smiles, Dean can’t ever get enough of that smile.

“Once I had the blossom I fought, caught them off guard, they fought back.  I managed to get away.”

“You did it,” Dean’s grins spreads across his face, he wants Cas to know how important this was, how important he was to Dean, “You did it, Cas.”

“Well, they’re still after me.  We should hurry.”

They should, they should hurry.  All reason says they need to get out of there as soon as they possibly can.  But the voice is back.  Be honest, it says.  With Cas here, really, solidly here in front of him, maybe it was time to...

“Okay Cas, I need to say something-”

But Cas cuts him off.

“You don’t have to say it, I heard your prayer.”

Cas smiles, turns away, and Dean’s brain is screaming to call him back, to say that’s not what he wanted to tell him, but Dean’s gotten very very good at hiding that part of himself away, what’s a few more decades?

Dean tries, once they get back, he tries to focus on the ritual, tries to focus on defeating Chuck, tries to focus on losing to Chuck, but through it all, that voice is at the back of his head, scratching at the little box he kept that part of himself in.

It doesn’t go away, not even back at the bunker, not when he tells Sam they’ll find another way, not when Sam gives him a tight smile and leaves to shut himself in his room, not in the silence that follows between him and Cas.  So, what can he do?

“Hey Cas?”

“Yeah?”

“I knew you heard the prayer.”

Cas looks up at him, and Dean makes the supreme effort to look him in the eyes.  He had to see Dean, really see him for this.

“And that wasn’t what I was going to say.”

Cas says nothing, still staring at Dean, staring at him in that way that made it a little easier to say this.  He takes a deep, steadying breath.  He hears the ticking of the clock on the kitchen wall.

“I love you.”

Cas takes a full five seconds to process his words and, four 4.99 agonizing seconds, Dean thinks that he may have just made a terrible fucking mistake.

And then, Cas smiles this radiant smile, the kind of smile that’d warm anybody up from their head to their toes, and Cas leans forward, without any hesitation, and presses his lips to Dean’s.

It’s gentle and brief and exactly way too short for Dean’s taste, but the look that Cas gives him when he pulls away is everything Dean’s ever wanted.

“I love you, too.”

Time ticks by, but this time, Dean doesn’t mind.

#destiel #supernatural #spoilers #spn 15x09 #15x09 coda #my writing #dean winchester #castiel #spn #i could write about this forever lmao

[fruitbur]

(bursts into inbox) thAT ASK MEME WITH ALL THE OCS U TAGGED (or just pick and choose but i genuinely would love to know all of them if u want afhdsgjsdhdjd) - darkwarfy

i'm going to start with the easy ones and end with the ones i haven't even talked about to you.

Red-

Full Name: Aaron Cupid Williams

Gender and Sexauilty: Male (trans) and Demisexual

Pronouns: He/Him

Ethnicity/Species: Tribrid of Fae, WARLOCK, and Demon.

Birthplace and Birthdate: His birthplace is unknown to HIM so therefore it won't be stated. he was born on Halloween but the year is also unknown.

Guilty Pleasures: Dancing and Singing. his mother never allowed him to do anything fun when he lived with her (besides reading) so he hides that side of him.

Phobias: Spiders, water, and the dark.

What They Would Be Famous For: besides being the only one of his kind? his singing, there is just something about it.. i wonder what?

What They Would They Be Arrested For: destroying prisons and freeing wrongly captured supernaturals.

OC You Ship Them With: No one, Red is too young to date throughout most of the stories he is in.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Iris (his mom) or Icarus

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Favorite movie would be Shark Boy and Lava Girl, he loves kids movies. Book genre is sci-fi or adventure stories.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: For movies it has to Coraline and book cliche is the hero or hero's lover/bestfriend dying for the greater good.

Talents and/or Powers: Talents would be as i said before his dancing and singing. his powers? jesus Red has a LOT. He can do basic magic, he can light himself on fire in a blue magic flame before it spreads around himself. telepathy, teleportation, and "invisibility" (that's more lore stuff) not really a power but he can control his appearance (his was born with baby blue skin and light purple hair but his mother taught him to hide that side to blend in with humans) he has a ribbon spell that he can call them to wrap his wrists and his controls them (i.e pulling and wrapping up his targets) he has another spell that does the same thing called flower power (this with rose vines) that he uses to hurt someone if need be. okay this is getting too long but he has more.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He is such a sweet kid and lights up the rooms he is in. you can't help but love him.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Red can be a little troublemaker and cause chaos for fun. which gets annoying when shit goes down.

How They Change: Red always thought he was just a weapon, a tool for a war that was never coming. as he grows up and lives on his own with Angel, he changes to be someone full of love for not just others, but himself.

Why You Love Them: Red was my first ever OC. He has been through so much changes and growth and i think i finally love him as he is now.

Angel - (i'm gonna shorten the questions so this doesn't get too long)

Full Name: Nope- that's lore and i wanna tell you that Later.

Gender: Female (Trans), Lesbian.

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: loosely based on the mayans, a necromancer, and a clockwork angel necklace.

Birthplace: Her village in that universe's Tulum. Birthdate... she's existed for over 2000 years, who knows how old she is truly.

Guilty Pleasures: Gardening and painiting.

Phobias: the water. just- the water.

Famous For: bringing the dead back to life with ease.

Arrested For: Killing witches who mess with Red.

OC Shipped: I ship her with Niko, two crazy girls who just want bodies.

OC Murder: Iris again, or Lexi (not doing her, she isn't too important rn)

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: she doesn't watch movies that often because she is ya know.. trapped. but when Red can watch something other than kids movies, Angel finds herself loving romance movies, hasn't picked a favorite yet. Books though? cook books! she enjoys learning about food even though she can't eat.

Least Favorite: Horror, just like Red. or anything with water. nothing against mermaids or wildlife, but she's seen enough of the sea for 10 lifetimes at least. Cliche would be evil necromancers, screw that.

Talents: Her painting are to die for. powers??? now this is going to be fun. Angel can bring back the dead, use her magic to move things and grab people. over the course of her time trapped, she has learned how to possess whomever wears her, which leads to some fun beat downs with both Red and Angel working as a single unit. oh did i mention Angel really loves to mess around with blood magic? she was the only one who was able to master it before the witches attacked.

Love Them: Someone would love her becauss how passionate and nurturing she is. also because she enjoys cracking jokes in the safety of the clockwork during the WORST of times.

Hate Them: the witches hated her for her powers and that she was "sick" in the head for enjoying blood magic.

How They Change: Angel had to learn to live as a soul for so long, slowly forgetting what it means to be a living person, that has to be bad for her mental health.

Love Them 2: Angel has become one of my favorites because of how much i've put thought into who she is.

Niko -

Name: she still hasn't came up with a last name, might just take Angel's :)

Gender and Sexuality: Nonbinary and pansexul

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Biracial, Japanse and Guyanese, a life sized Drawing Mannequin.

Birthplace: a black market factory that makes life sized objects to be used by witches. Birthdate, before 2016, at least.

Guilty Pleasures: ripping the skin off of witches for shit and giggles. oh and grooming dogs!

Phobias: none, nothing phases her.

Famous for: her spine chilling laugh.

Arrested for: all the murders she's done, that is, if she was ever caught.

OC Shipped: Angel of course.

OC Murder: any and all witches, Lexi, Syd.

Favorite Movie/Book: nope and nope! too busy living in the moment to sit down in one place, besides not have real hands. so the next question is useless.

Talents: is flawlessly ripping skin off of a living person a talent? Niko would say so. besides just living, Niko can change her shape into any type of doll/mannequin drawing or otherwise to hide in stores.

Love Them: she is a funny gal! creepy as shit but loyal once you've gained her trust.

Hate Them: "she. skins. people." -Syd at least 20 times.

How They Change: goes from a manic doll to a somewhat a stable person with the power of lOvE.

Love Them 2: She is perfect for Angel and that's enough for me.

Trinity -

Name: Trinity Wither Lakes

Gender: Female, Bisexual.

Pronouns: she/her.

Eithnicity/Species: Biracial, Polynesian, and African American. Werewolf and Siren.

Birthplace: Kaneohe, Hawaii. 3/17/1999.

Guilty Pleasures: Running in the woods in the middle of the night.

Phobias: being half wolf, she fears anything with silver, oh and blood.

Famous for: her speed.

Arrested for: graffiti and other forms of vandalism.

OC Shipped: Abigail. (not doing her either, sorry!)

OC Murder: Lexi, Raph, her grandparents.

Favorite Movie: Twilight and The Twilight Saga. she loves quoting the movies and books to piss everyone off, making it her favorites. Cliche would enimes to lovers.

Least Favorite: The Princess Bride, she just doesn't Get It. Cliche would be anything with angry werewolves or evil sirens. "we aren't your tropes, humans" -Trinity everytime she reads or watches something with a sexy but evil siren.

Talents: all the perks of being wolf and siren, nothing to add really.

Love Them: she is headstrong and makes for a good leader for a rebellion.

Hate Them: too loud, doesn't back down from a fight. will not shut up if someone is wronging her in public.

Change: she goes from the sheltered girl from her family's home in California to the loud rebel in Texas.

Love Them 2: Trin is like me, i don't know when to quit. if someone wrongs me i will scream it from the roof tops before i let them get away with it.

Syd -

Name: Syd Brimstone Lockwood

Gender: Female, Bisexual.

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Caucasian, human.

Birthplace: Boston, Massachuestts. 4/20/1999

Guilty Pleasures: shitty reality tv, she lives for the drama. also magic, she has always been skeptical of the existence of magic so she spends much of her time researching and tracking down sightings of magic usage.

Phobias: None that i can think of.

Famous for: her deadpan delivery and humor/her resting bitch face.

Arrested for: stalking "known" supernaturals.

OC Shipped: Ainsel.

OC Murder: anyone who she follows would kill her, mainly Lexi or Raph though.

Favorite Movie: IT (2017) or a Purge movie. favorite cliche would be any boring, human trope. so like a coffee shop au.

Least Favorite: Harry Potter (okay she really enjoys the third one but she'd never admit it), cliche, would be magic. (she doesn't hate it, just that she doesn't believe.)

Talents: breaking and entering. "that's a fucking talent and you know it, Ains! i've never been caught in my life." -Syd. she is human so no powers.

Love Them: over protective of the ones she loves. would fight anyone to save Ainsel and she'd win.

Hate Them: her skepticism makes it hard for her to make friends and tears groups apart.

Change: after she meets a certain someone, she finally lets go of her overbearing skepticism and borderline hatred.

Love Them 2: i just love her character.

Ainsel -

Name: Ainsel Raven James

Gender: Female (Trans), Asexaul.

Pronouns: she/her.

Ethnicity/Species: African American (she has albinism), human.

Birthplace: Middletown, New York. 5/18/2002.

Guilty Pleasures: painting on herself, walking in the rain with no umbrella.

Phobias: fire. "You can't control it Sy-Sy!!! what if you drop that match huh?! we could go up in flames! i don't want to burn away!"

Famous For: her looks, or her happy go lucky nature.

Arrested For: Jay walking to get away from a monster or someone chasing her and Syd.

OC Shipped: Syd.

OC Murder: Lexi or Raph.

Favorite Movie: Tangled. Cliche, a happy ending.

Least Favorite: Monty Python and The Holy Grail. Cliche, a dog dying.

Talents: Her impeccable timing, always seeming to get Syd out of trouble before she is caught. "Nuh uh! none of that miss "breaking and entering!"" -Ainsel. Again a human so no powers.

Love Them: her optimism and acceptance of magic and the supernatural. how she loves everyone so fiercely and stands for what is right.

Hate Them: how happy and full of light she seems to be.

Change: She starts to stick up for herself more and learns how to fight back.

Love Them 2: i love how happy she is, i want to be that comfortable in my own skin like her.

Sebastain -

Name: Sebastain A. Montague

Gender: Male, Aromantic, Asexaul.

Pronouns: he/him.

Ethnicity/Species: Caucasian, Vampire and Sorcerer.

Birthplace: Venice, Italy. 7/25/1462

Guilty Pleasures: Ballroom Dancing. Drinking straight from the pulse.

Phobias: the sun, even if he can walk in the daylight.

Famous For: his charm and "naturally" good looks.

Arrested For: a string of murders in the east coast of the US.

OC shipped: no one, the only thing close to a relationship he has is his friendship with Red long into the future.

OC Murder: Syd tries, but she finds it's hard to kill something already dead.

Favorite Movie: he has lived for so long, he finds his memories are better than what you'll find in those picture shows. he does enjoy reading poems by Edgar Allan Poe or any of Dickinson's works. (skipping the next question)

Talents: Dancing and cooking. Powers, compulsion (vampire mind control), and the basic skillsets a sorcerer has.

Love Them: his charm, though their love is misplaced, is appreciated.

Hate Them: he is a world class bastard who knows how to use his charms to get what he wants, you.

Change: He learns to be nicer to people and not view them as just a food source.

Love Them 2: he is one cocky bastard but i wouldn't trade him for any other bitch out there.

Irri -

Name: Iradeseca the Faithful

Gender: Genderfluid, pansexual. (in a poly relationship).

Pronouns: any, but mainly goes by she/her.

Ethnicity/Species: she's.. she's an alien boss. (oqjsgsyisha) anyways she is from a race called The Marked Ones. i'll tell you all about them soon. Irri is of the Shifter classification, and is the last pure blood shifter left.

Birthplace: their (the girlfriends/partners) home planet, in the palace of the shifters. (no date because lore reasons, this will be the same for her girlfriends.)

Guilty Pleasures: her partners 😏

Phobias (more like fears): explosions, drowning, losing her girlfriends.

Famous For: her shifting ability.

Arrested For: well... L O R E

OC Shipped: Betrix, Calenni, and Desa.

OC Murder: lore

They are aliens, so i'm skipping these questions.

Talents: her speed. she is a shifter, so she can shape shift into her true form (a ice fox) and into her more humanesque form. (having two arms and two legs)

Love Them: her mysterious but gentle presence

Hate Them: her special skill and the fact she is dating Calenni and Desa in particular.

Change: Irri changes from being controlled by an oppressive regime.

Love Them 2: She is my second oldest oc, she will always have a special place in my heart.

Betrix -

Name: The Stoic Betrix

Gender: Genderfluid, pansexaul. (in a poly relationship)

Pronouns: she/her or he/him.

Ethnicity/Species: The Marked Ones, Bender classification.

Birthplace: on their home planet, in a abandoned temple of the benders.

Guilty Pleasures: smiling and being happy.

Phobias: being alone and losing his girlfriends.

Famous For: her calm, unphased demeanor.

Arrested For: same reason as Irri and Desa.

OC Shipped: Irri, Calenni, and Desa.

OC Murder: WOAH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, LORE!!!

Talents: being able to take everything thrown at him without saying a word (punches, kicks, fire, etc etc). bending people in half without moving a muscle. being a bender means she can bend spaces and minds with no difficulty, leading him to control the person's mind.

Love Them: No matter what happens to her, Betrix always gets back up with twice the amount of power and the same amount of complaints, zero. a man of little words unless he is with his partners.

Hate Them: WHY WON'T SHE STAY DOWN? STOP FIGHTING ALREADY!!! dating Calenni and Desa

Change: Betrix learns how to open up more and use her words because she is allowed to speak.

Love Them 2: She is a badass. who needs to speak when you can just knock the asshole over with one push.

Calenni -

Name: Calenni the Creative

Gender: Genderfluid and pansexual. (in a poly relationship)

Pronouns: she/her and sometimes called they/them by Betrix.

Ethnicity/Species: The Marked Ones, Creator classification.

Birthplace: On their home planet, on her family's estate.

Guilty Pleasures: being taken care of, not always the one leading things.

Phobias: bugs, filith, losing her partners.

Famous For: looking like a flower or a tiny pixie creature.

Arrested for: nothing because of lore reeasons

OC Shipped: Irri, Betrix, and Desa.

OC Murder: lore.

Talents: everything she creates is one of a kind and priceless. She is a creator so she is able to make whatever comes to mind with just a tap of her fingers. and is always changing how she appearance due to creating new shapes and forms.

Love Them: she speaks out against what was happening with the creators and risked her lives for her partners, nearly dying for them.

Hate Them: didn't sit back and be the little princess she was supposed to.

Change: learned how to be independent while being able to depend on her loves.

Love Them 2: Calenni said eat the rich even if that means eat me too.

Desa -

Name: Desa the Kind

Gender: Genderfluid and pansexual (in a poly relationship)

Pronouns: any but mainly she/her.

Ethnicity/Species: The Marked Ones, Destroyer classification.

Birthplace: on their home planet, in the woods far away from civilization.

Guilty Pleasures: creating stuff!!! being able to just live and feel love and acceptance.

Phobias: destroying the ones she loves. being alone, losing her partners.

Famous For: being understanding and not judgmental.

Arrested for: lore- but also just for being caught with Calenni.

OC Shipped: Irri, Betrix, Calenni.

OC Murder: lore, but anyone but her partners.

Talents: Her forgiveness. Being able to destroy whole planets by just being on them. Detroyers can eliminate anything in their paths with little to no struggle.

Love Them: ??? what is not to love??? she is such a friggin sweetheart who wants to spend all eternity with her sweethearts.

Hate Them: being born.

Change: girl has it ROUGH let me tell you. but in the end it'll all work out and a much happier, healthier Desa will make it out on the other side.

Love Them 2: "all i want is to love what i can not destroy with a single touch, then and only then, i'll be at peace" -Desa.

BONUS!!!! BONUS ROUND!!!!

Iris -

Name: Iris the Lurer

Gender: Female and Straight (😔)

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: Greater Demon (dark gray/light purple complexion)

Birthplace: in the demon realm, before mankind was created.

Guilty Pleasures: using her kids as weapons to orchestrate a war. oh and 90 Day Fiance on TLC.

Phobias: love and weakness from her children.

Famous For: her natural rainbow hair.

Arrested For: mass genocide.

OC Shipped: Icarus (two slimey bastards)

OC Murder: ANGEL AND RED LIKE THE BAD BITCHES THEY ARE 😤💯

Favorite Movie: The Birdcage. Cliche would be main villainess destroying the land.

Least Favorite: The Hunger Games. "so over rated and boring CGI, why do humans enjoy this?" -Iris

Talents: being the worst mother alive, making your child into a monstrosity to benefit your delusions. her powers are mostly mental manipulation and normal demon theatrics.

Love Them: being confident, commanding, and full of herself.

Hate Them: everything she has ever done after breaking free from the demon realm with Icarus.

Change: maybe if she gets murdered she'll finally change.

Love Them 2: i like working with a villain, morally gray character like her.

THIS TOOK ALL DAY WOANSGEUOWMSB I HAVEN'T LEFT THIS TAB ALL DAY.

#ask alec #alec answers #alec speaks #alec writes #mutuals ♡ #darkwarf tag #red oc #irri oc #lexi oc #niko oc #trinity oc #abigail oc #syd oc #raph oc #ainsel oc #sebastian oc #betrix oc #calenni oc #desa oc #iris oc #long post #tw long post #alec's universe

[svts-junhui]

Jinyoung x Reader | I’m Here For You

A/N: Requested; fiction [y/n’s husband was deceased a year prior and was best friends with Jinyoung] where Jinyoung promises to y/n’s daughter that he would take them under his wing and take care of the family for the remainder of his days

Count: ~2000

Warnings: Mainly fluff, but there is a bit of smut at the end

It’s been a year since your husband passed. One year since you heard his voice. One year since your kids have seen their biological father. You hoped and prayed that he was watching you from Heaven, smiling and laughing with his loved ones who passed before him. He would want you to be happy, given the unforeseen circumstances, but he was your first love and you could do nothing but miss him.

It was a warm, sunny day, but that didn’t stop the tears from streaming down your face. You walked up to the grave site with a bouquet of flowers to put in the vase as a form of remembrance. Your oldest daughter walked proudly beside you with her hand in yours and she rubbed her thumb across your skin to comfort you. Your son had already beat you to the site, young enough to not understand that he was actually gone for good, talking to the grass in hopes for a response. 

“Daddy’s still sleeping,” he said with a smile, “Don’t wake him up.”

You placed the flowers into the vase and began to dig at the grass that was beginning to grow over the headstone. It’s only been a year and it seems like the Earth wants you to forget he was ever here, making you sob a little harder.

“It’ll be okay, mom,” your daughter said, hugging you from behind. “You have Jinyoung now, and he loves you, right?”

You wiped your tears with your fingers and whispered, “Yes, you’re right. But your Daddy was my first love, the first one who held my hand, the first one who made me feel like I belonged in this cruel world. I miss him more and more each day. But I will always be thankful for the time that I spent with him, even if it was cut short.” Tears welled up in your eyes again, “And Jinyoung has been such an amazing support system for me and you kids and I’ll never be able to thank him enough for taking us under his wing.”

Jinyoung came up behind you, holding your youngest, born exactly two months after your husband’s passing. Jinyoung was there for you every step of the way during those last two months as a friend; he knew that’s what your husband wanted him to do since they were best friends. He was there for the birth of your third child, and not too long after that became a person of interest that you never expected. And because you knew that your husband would want you to be happy, you took it upon yourself to allow Jinyoung to be that person for you. It began with him showing up to your house with dinner for you and the kids, then to spending the night with each other, until finally he got up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend, to which you responded to positively. This, however, caused many problems between you and your daughter. She was twelve and old enough to understand what was going on, and she confronted the two of you about your relationship.

Your daughter walked into the dimly light living room to see the two of you sitting on the couch sharing a blanket and some popcorn, while you’re breastfeeding your youngest. She sat down on the coffee table in front of you to block the television so that your full attention was on her.

“Ew, I can’t believe you’re feeding him right in front of me.” She stuck her tongue out at you. Jinyoung blushed at this, she brought his attention to your chest and his mind started racing.

“What do you mean, it’s a natural thing! And you just walked in here, silly. What do you need?”

She took in a deep breath before saying, “Can I talk to you about something?”

You chuckled. “Sure, you can talk to me about anything, honey. What’s up?”

“Do you still love dad?” She was looking at the ground as she asked this question, twirling her hair around her fingers. You had a hurt look in your face, and your eyes became watery.

“Of course I still do. He meant everything and more to me.”

She looked at you in the eyes this time, “Then how come you moved on so fast? And with his best friend too? I thought you really cared about daddy.”

You weren’t ready for this question… At all. But, she was your daughter, so you tried your best to make your daughter understand.

“Honey, it’s not that I don’t care about your dad. There were other plans for him. He would want me to move on and be happy, even if it’s without him. But I’ll never love anyone like I loved your father.” At this instance, Jinyoung decided to give his position on it as well.

“Your dad is always going to be your dad. All that I can do is try my best to be the father figure that you need. I will never replace your father, but I promise that I will support you and give you everything that you need and more.” He took your daughters’ hands into his, looking into her eyes, “and I will always love you no matter what happens. I’m fully committed to taking care of you and I hope that you’ll allow me to do so.”

She thought for a second about what he had just said to her, hanging onto every impactful word. “You promise you won’t replace daddy?”

“I promise.” He pulled her into a hug and she smiled. “I’ll take care of you.”

Her face brightened up and she got up to exit the room. You sighed and shook your head. “What am I going to do with her? I know she’s young, but she needs to understand that even though I’m not with her dad anymore that I still care about her. And you even told her yourself that she has you to take care of her, and to be there for her, and I think she should be accepting of that!”

Jinyoung nodded in agreement, “Yeah, I know, but she’s a kid who lost her father not that long ago. She just misses him, I’m sure. I’ll never be her real father but what I can do is support your family. And who knows, maybe we’ll get married one day and have a kid together that I can actually be the father of.” He blushed yet again at this thought. He began to rub the back of his neck with his hand from embarrassment and proceeded to chuckle, “I could even put a baby in you right now if that’s what you want.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. Of course it feels like you moved on too quickly, but Jinyoung promised your husband that he would make sure that you and your kids were well taken care of if anything ever happened to him. You didn’t think that he meant it like this. “Jinyoung, the kids are here! I’m even breastfeeding right now! We can’t be messing around like that.” You poked his chest and laughed at him.

“I didn’t say it had to be right now. But damn, just seeing even a small portion of your breast makes me want you so bad, y/n.” He began to kiss your neck which cause shivers down your spine. “Not to mention you handled that situation so well. Like a good girl.”

You felt your cheeks flush and you got up from the couch quickly, staring at Jinyoung. “You shouldn’t be saying these things right now, the kids are awake and if they hear us-“

“Y/n, don’t worry about them right now. It’s late anyway. Put them to bed and we can have our fun.” He smirked at you, and the heat between your legs began to rise. You turned around in a snapping motion, carrying your child to his crib and calling out to the other two, “Kids, it’s bedtime, please go brush your teeth and lay down for me.”

They sighed and complained, but they obeyed anyway, knowing that they would be in deep trouble if they didn’t listen to you. You stopped by their rooms to tuck them into bed, kissing them on the cheek and wishing them sweet dreams. Walking down to the end of the hall you noticed the bedroom door was already cracked open with Jinyoung inside. You peeked around the door to see him already laying in the bed, his body facing the wall and his eyes shut. Maybe he was asleep?

After putting on a comfy shirt and a pair of shorts, you crawled into bed beside him, giving him a kiss on his cheek and wrapped your arm around his waist. You started to drift off to sleep until he rolled over and proceeded to get on top of you, snaking his hand down your mid-section and underneath your shorts and underwear, slipping his fingers between your folds. “God, you’re so fucking wet for me. Are you sure you can keep quiet?”

You bit your lip and nodded as he practically pulled off your clothes and pushed a finger into your core. He rubbed your g-spot with his one finger, using the other hand to rub harsh circles on your clit. Sliding his finger in and out, he added another digit, stretching you out. The sensation made your body temperature begin to rise, your legs began to shake, but he stopped before you could fully meet your high. Replacing his fingers with his lips, he kissed the inner part of your thighs before you whispered, “Jinyoung, please stop teasing.” He placed gentle kisses on your slit initially, watching you squirm underneath him before he decided to give you what you wanted. He spread your folds and licked at your wetness, circling his tongue around your clit and allowing it to disappear inside you every so often. Almost reaching your high a second time, he made sure to stop yet again right before your release. You wanted to scream, but you knew the kids were next door and would be able to hear you.

“You’re so fucking wet for me,” he smirked as he lined his cock up to your entrance and used your wetness as lubrication. He slowly pushed inside of you with shallow movements, only allowing only the head of his length to explore you, teasing both himself and you. After you seemed to be warmed up to him, he began to put in more of his length, causing you to quietly moan. He placed his hand over your mouth, “Y/n, you need to be quiet, baby.” 

You nodded as he continued to push himself deeper inside of you, fully covering his cock in your juices. His eyes locked on yours as he began to grind his hips into yours, slamming himself into you as far as he possibly could, making your eyes roll back and your hips buck. This sent him over the edge and made him slide his cock in and out of you as fast and hard as he could, skin slapping skin, hitting your sweet spot every time. He knew you were close, feeling your walls clenching around him and your legs were shaking with pleasure. He wrapped his hands around your waist and laid his chest on yours, grunting into your ear with every last thrust, until finally your release came with his following mere seconds after. Finally, he pulled himself out of you and flopped onto his side of the bed, still breathing heavily.

“Do you think the kids heard us?” you asked with a concerned look on your face.

“I sure hope not. But damn, y/n, you’re so good in bed,” he breathily stated.

You smiled and kissed his cheek. “I could say the same thing to you.”

#jinyoung #got7 #kpop #fanfic #fluff #smut #thanks for your request !

[spaceshipkat]

i found the Syfy livestream of sj/m’s NYCC panel, so obv i need to do a recap. here we go! Jordan Zak/arin is the moderator and he begins by saying that sj/m is prolific, asks if that’s correct, and she says sure. (also, most of the questions and answers will be paraphrased rather than direct quotes; when they’re direct quotes, they’ll be in quotation marks, obv. my comments will be in parentheses bc i can’t not give commentary)

moderator: so you have a new book out

sj/m: my new book CCity: House of Earth and Blood is coming out in March, “i’m literally in the middle of a deadline right now where i came here and got off the train basically, and i’m here now enjoying my time with you and then as soon as this is done i’m running back to my train to go home so i can work on this book and get it done so it’s out in March,” it’s my first Adult series but if you’ve read my ac0tar books those are pretty Adult anyway so you kinda know what to expect *laughter*

the face of a woman who knows exactly what fuckery she’s gotten away with:

(yes that is a screenshot from the exact moment she’s talking about how ac0tar is already really Adult)

sj/m: i call it modern fantasy, where it’s set in a completely made up world but set in modern times. if you’ve read my t0g or ac0tar books, imagine those books but jump ahead 2000 years in the future where they have cell phones and cars and guns and every magical, paranormal, mythical creature you can imagine

(as if the t0g and ac0tar worlds aren’t already modern. flushing toilets, yo)

sj/m: the world is vaguely modeled after the Roman Empire. like imagine if the Roman Empire never collapsed and made it to modern times and was ruled by magical creatures that all want to kill each other

(FUCKING FIGHT ME OH MY GOD THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE)

moderator: t0g you came up with as a teenager, CCity is a concept you came up with more recently. i heard that you cried when the idea first came to you

sj/m: okay yeah any writers out there in the crowd? yeah, my people. so as a writer i get struck with ideas at the weirdest times, my ideas usually are inspired by music and i was on a place on one of my book tours and i was listening to a piece of music from the Gravity soundtrack 

(we’ve heard this story so many times that i’m not bothering to transcribe all of it bc i’m sure we all have it memorized by now)

sj/m: as a writer i was like who are these characters, what is this world, if i’m having this reaction there must be something here that i’m being drawn to, so i just began listening to that piece of music over and over again and as i listened to it i got a clearer picture of who was there in that moment. and that scene is actually the big climactic scene in CCity, which i won’t spoil, but as soon as i saw it i had to backpedal and figure out how i get to that scene. and the world of CCity kinda draws on my love of urban fantasy, paranormal romance, which even though i write high fantasy UF and PR are what i read in my spare time, so this is kinda in a similar vein to that and i’ve always wanted to write a story like those: you know, JR Ward, Nalini Singh, or Karen Marie Moning, Laurel K Hamilton--who i just had a panel with--and it’s cool that this random scene sobbing in a plane is now gonna be a book

moderator: so who are the characters you came up with, bc they are the central protagonists of this book, right?

sj/m: i don’t want to spoil that scene bc that one moment in the book is the big moment, but in that moment i saw [Bruce] who is my main character, and she’s a half-human, half-fae bastard daughter of a fae king and she works in an antiquities gallery which, side note, i grew up here in NYC and [Bruce’s] job was inspired by the summer i spent in college as an intern at an antiquities gallery where i was the world’s worst employee

(istg if she doesn’t handle the antiquities in the book properly i am going to lose my fucking shit)

sj/m: the stuff was so expensive that we didn’t get a lot of foot traffic, and my job was to just sit in the showroom--i knew everything about all the pieces--and either answer phone calls or wait for someone to come in, but no one really did, so i would read every morning the NYT front to back and then i would take out my laptop and i would write my stories. i was terrible at the job but i loved working there bc i love art and old stuff, so [Bruce] works at an antiquities gallery that’s actually a lot more magical and cool 

moderator: do people shop at that one?

sj/m: *laughing* people do shop but she doesn’t get much foot traffic either, but then it’s also been really fun bc [Bruce] lives in this huge city in this world and growing up in New York i feel like i could draw on a lot of my experiences 

moderator: is there a better subway system, at least?

sj/m: there actually isn’t a subway system. i didn’t even want to deal with the subway, i have too many feelings about [NYC’s] subway system. they have buses but no subway

moderator: how does being an adult with a life and career impact building the world of CCity?

sj/m: when i world build i kinda just--i know a lot of writers will do tons and tons of research and meticulously plan it, but i kinda build the world around my characters, where i’ll have [Bruce] working in the antiquities gallery and she’ll step out onto the street, and then i’ll have to take a moment and pause and go okay what’s on this street, what kind of shops are there, where do the shops get their produce from? it kinda all springs from the characters and with each round i do while working on the book i ask myself more and more questions about the world, but often when i’m writing that first draft and i’m just in this flurry of inspiration i don’t want to stop to figure this crap out. 

(ah yes, bc world-building is, in a word, crap)

sj/m: i just want to get everything down on paper so i’ll just leave like an X with an asterisk next to it for me to fill in later, and then when i get to later rounds i’ll actually sit down and think of those things. it also depends on the book i’m writing; some books will come fully-formed with the worlds there. other ones i really have to think and deconstruct and then even do research into our history and draw stuff. with CCity, i’ve really been reading up on Roman history, which i find really cool to take little facts and terminology and mix it into my world. 

(seriously @longsightmyth hold my flower imma lose my shit) 

sj/m:  it’s definitely time-consuming but i love the world-building; i think i go overboard where my editor now has been like we don’t need to know about where the salt on their table comes from so i’ve been trimming back on those details, but i like to know that stuff

(sj/m? go overboard?)

(how is it even possible for her to say this shit with a straight face?) 

moderator: we were talking backstage about your routine, you kinda get everything out on the page at once and then you go from there, right?

sj/m: i’m well-aware that my first drafts are garbage; my first drafts i basically just vomit the story onto the page: i’m not joking, it is a lot of bodily fluids go into that first draft. i get so involved in my story sometimes that i am literally sobbing at my computer, my keyboard drenched in salty tears, it is messy. it’s sad and weird. but in that first draft, i just, i gotta let the story flow through me and i’m well-aware that my first drafts are kinda just a bunch of ideas that i throw onto the page and then i need that editorial process where i’m working with my amazing editor back and forth figuring out who are these characters, what is the story, what are the strands that are here that we can pull and braid into a cohesive plot. 

(she really can talk a good game, can’t she? if she put as much effort as she claims she does into editing her books, they’d actually be readable and not the fucking nightmare we get)

sj/m: so with each round i figure more and more of that out, so now i’m nearing the end of that editorial process and i am so happy that i’m finally seeing the light. i need that time to figure out--you know, the months and months that we spend in editorial, i need that time to figure out what this story is and i’ll be struck by these bolts of lightning randomly where i’m like oh i’ve got this scene in here but what if i took it to this next level, and so my stories kind of evolve as i’m working on them.

(she repeats herself a lot, doesn’t she? i mean the same old, same old answers, yes, but also in clearly scrambling to give an answer that sounds good and makes her look good)

sj/m: but yeah my first drafts are a hot mess. i would never publish them straight up because they just suck

(then why are they on the shelves?) 

moderator: well clearly it’s working out for you, so why don’t you get back home, finish this book up, and we’ll read it in March

sj/m: thanks so much you guys!

#anti sjm #anti crescent city #long post #vomit tw

[pinespittinink]

flower prompt meme: spider flower; elope with me; arden & bev for @sentfromwolves

Arden stared at Beverly, his mouth hanging open. She was lying upside down on the bed, all attention on their marathon of Star Trek: Enterprise as though she hadn’t just proposed they spend the rest of their lives together as casually as she might suggest where they go for lunch tomorrow. Arden felt a bundle of fireworks explode in his brain only to immediately fizzle out the next instant like a sparkler dropped in a puddle. Beverly was still watching the tv, tacky 2000s cgi reflecting in her eyes. Arden didn’t know what episode they were on—  he’d lost count four or five hours into season three. Now he just sat frozen with a plastic bowl of popcorn in his lap, as petrified as Moaning Myrtle caught by the basilisk in the bathroom. 

“Are you—” Arden wheezed and coughed, clearing his throat. “Are you serious?”

Beverly looked up at him from where she hung over the edge of the bed, hair falling down the length of the duvet. 

“I mean,” she said, “yeah?”

“Yeah?” Arden squeaked, his voice reaching an alarmingly high decibel. 

“I mean,” Beverly began again, ever the picture of eloquence. “It would be fun, right?”

Fun, Arden thought dumbly. Not quite the adjective he would’ve first picked about marriage. 

“Okay, okay, hear me out.” Beverly rolled into an upright position, sitting criss-cross applesauce across from him on her bed. 

“First of all, the tax benefits would be great—”

“You want to get married for tax benefits?” Arden nearly yelled, popcorn close to tipping. 

“That’s just one thing—”

“You essentially propose to me and the first thing you start talking about is tax benefits?”

Arden felt like he was fifteen steps behind, Bev roaring by on a motorcycle as he peddled after her on a tricycle, trying maddeningly and pathetically to keep up.

Thankfully, if Arden was all the consistent ingredients of a haphazard molotov cocktail ready to blow whenever something threatened to chuck the tremulous balancing act of his life out a window, Beverly was a one-woman bomb disposal squad. 

“Babe,” she said, putting a consoling hand on his leg. “Please don’t freak out. I can hear the air raid sirens in your brain from here.”

“I’m not freaking out,” Arden lied. “I am absolutely, 100% not freaking out at all. My brain is filled with clandestine meadows and Tibetan monks.”

Bev snorted.

“Uh huh, yeah right.” There was a star glimmer in her eye as she commandeered the popcorn bowl. “And I didn’t propose, you doofus. It was just a suggestion. I mean,” she continued around a mouthful of popcorn, “I figured, you like me, I like you. We’re a pretty tight team. Being married could be fun.”

There was that word again. Fun. Arden could barely focus on it as Bev continued talking, heedless of his crisis. 

“And in thirty years if we get sick of each other because you’re bald and cranky and I’m addicted to VR games and we both teach too much then we can get a divorce and all our problems will be solved!”

But he wouldn’t ever get sick of Beverly, Arden thought. He liked her too much; her unicorn facemasks, the way she left empty containers of hummus and wheat-thins on her desk, her ever-changing light-up keyboards and novelty mouse collection. He liked how she looked walking around in her underwear and oversized NASA t-shirt, hair piled into a messy bun and glasses sitting crooked and smudged on her nose because she’d run out of contact solution again. He liked how she named her rice cooker and kept constant boxes of toaster strudels in the freezer, how she snorted and guffawed when she laughed and sent him memes of cats that looked like Ferro and quizzed MK on whatever mutual hyperfixation they’d found in the kid’s venture into 90’s sci-fi. 

He liked her a lot, he realized. 

“Hello in there— where’d you go?”

Bev was looking at him expectantly, a grin on her face. She was wearing one of her favorite t-shirts, this one emblazoned with the biblical lyric, “yeah my boyfriend’s pretty cool, but he’s not as cool as me.” It felt pretty accurate, Arden agreed distantly. The youngest professor at West Wembley, a colossal nerd, a philosophical debate partner, and she could eat more flamin’ hot cheetos than he could.

“What are you thinking about?” Beverly asked.

“That it’s such a shame you’re a trekkie,” Arden answered. “I might have found the perfect woman otherwise.”

Beverly cried out in offense. 

“How dare you defame the Enterprise?” she said, almost hitting him as she gesticulated wildly at the tv. 

“Star Wars is the superior media, you can’t change my mind,” Arden said resolutely, a smile tugging across his lips. A snug warm feeling was making itself cozy in his chest, curling up like a cat as Beverly grumbled beside him, settling into the welcome space under his arm. 

He might fuck around and say the L word, he mused. Not that it would be the first time. Loving Beverly came easy. 

They fell back into the episode, and Arden had almost got a handle on the current plot when Beverly jerked upright, an excited light in her eyes.

“We could do a Vegas wedding! Would you do a Vegas wedding?”

“I could be convinced to do a Vegas wedding,” Arden admitted, too swayed to even be surprised by himself. It felt less like defeat and more like the burgeoning promise of an adventure, hopping from one foot to the other on some distant horizon like a wacky, marital pied piper. He pictured himself standing at a glitzy altar before a sunglasses-wearing Elvis Presley impersonator, sliding a promise ring onto Bev’s finger while she wore a white dress. 

It wasn’t a half-bad thought. 

He could only imagine Kihyun’s face when he found out, could see Minjun hooting and falling to the floor. Ferro would start silent chuckling until he became a giggly snorting mess, supporting himself on the kitchen counter as he wheezed. 

Dare he say, maybe getting married would be fun. 

#my writing #wishlines #oc: beverly #nmoc: arden #thank you i had a good time with this also it got LONG #me: gets a prompt #also me: writes 1k for it #also i hope i did him okay i havent written him before .sobbing emoji

[inkdrinkershadowsinger]

Thoughts/Background Goblet of Fire

What kind of creepy graveyard is this? Skeletons crawling over one another? Snake hidey-holes? Is this Nagini speaking or can she hear Voldemort from that far away? This just shows how fast she is as she moves along the ground here. Literally, we have here the Angel of Death equipped with wings and a scythe, which normally the Grim Reaper carries.

One light on in the caretaker’s house which is right next to the family graveyard? We are assuming that this is the Riddle estate, correct? Wealthy families like that would have had a family graveyard near their home. Also, that house in the background, Riddle Manor? Is super big and though it is dark looks grandiose.

The house here, looks well lived in, but at the same time, almost like it has only recently been inhabited. This is a kitchen, but it looks like there is a shovel on the wall, and only one light?

Still, only one light on in the main Riddle house. Wormtail can’t even draw a curtain? Dang.

Those are some old fashioned keys. I understand that this is a Manor or whatever, but this takes place during the nineties? No one thought to update the locks on this place? Frank mentions, “Those kids”, like people breaking in has been a real problem. Why not update the security? Also, who has been paying for the upkeep of this place? Lucius? Some secret Dark Lord Corporation? Is that why they are old school? Because we all know that wizards like to keep everything super, super, super old school?

Seriously, who is keeping up this place? The topiary is amazing!!

He looks like he is walking up a sort of backdoor entrance or servant’s entrance.

He is the caretaker for the grounds, but can’t dust a little? That clock needs a good one.

The light wasn’t muted because no one was casting a lumos, they were simply using a lamp that had the fabric bits removed that dampen the light.

The way that Barty is smiling when Nagini perches herself on Voldemort’s chair is fucking terrifying.

Ron’s room really is all orange. Such a fanboy.

The Burrow is in such a great spot. The little pond in front, the trees, the openness. The house itself is incredible. Still, only one light on. Whose? You can see the group walking away. That has to be Mr. and Mrs. Weasley’s room. Or Ron forgot to turn off the light, again.

They are all having to run to keep up with Mr. Weasley because he gets his cardio, bitch.

Mr. Weasley is rocking that straw cabana hat because he knows Muggles son!

Such a beautiful shot!

Did they travel through a worm hole here? I know the director or whoever had to make a creative choice in how this was going to be portrayed, but…. Idk.

Everyone is flying around, the arena is clearly segregated into Ireland’s colors or Green, Red, and Yellow, perhaps hinting at the final score of the match? Nice job, filmmakers.

What is this guy juggling? It looks like toy merecreatures almost.

Orange is the Weasley families favorite color. They’re just owning it at this point.

The pitch looks like it is in the inside of a volcano or a mountain.

Some people have seats right on the grass of the pitch? So, if the Weasle’s have bad seats at the very top what would the very lowest seats be classified as?

Who knew that a job qualification for Professional Qudditich players is the ability to adequately throw and spark fireworks?

Krum is a showoff.

Those are omnoculars? What Ron has to his face?

The way that they were all packed in together, it’s a wonder the whole place didn’t burn down with all the incendios they were throwing around.

They are all wizards, underage or not, and this is a life threatening situation, and yet, no one is firing back at the Death Eaters?

Okay, so everything did get torched to the ground. None of these tents had some fire retardant?

That amount of spells coming at the trio.

That style of hat that Crouch is wearing has got to be some ministry trend. Wait until they all hit the trucker hats in the 2000’s.

That Dark Mark is really cool.

I love her hat though. It looks like something that would have been worn to the royal wedding.

Seeing the train is always stunning.

I love the collection of sweets here. Colorful, to attract the youngins.

This is a really colorful movie. The third one was very muted while still being stunning. This and the next one experience with splashes of color that are just beautiful.

They are passing a big lake in the background there. Out of the window just looks wild and remote.

He addresses it clearly to Sirius Black. Is that a qualification for the owls to know where they letter needs to go or do they just have to have been there before? I need to know the specifics of owl travel.

You get to see the whole scope of how large not only Hogwarts is ,but the grounds, and I love that.

You see Neville in this first sequence as they are watching the other schools arrive as well as Fred, George, Ginny, Colin, Harry, and Hermione. Angelina Johnson is in the background behind the twins.

The sails on the Durmstrang ship looks like it is decorated with a two headed dragon. Is that the symbol for Durmstrang?

So while Dumbledore is chatting, Hagrid and Flitwick are behind him chit chatting.

There are two levels to the head table in this movie. The main folk are sitting at the higher table. Snape is leaning against the wall, not directly related to them at all. I bet he hated first days at the school.

Snape is one hundred percent mimicking Dumbledore’s speech for a hysterical Flitwick in the background.

The bald guy behind Dumbledore looks asleep, straight up.

Are butterflies the symbol for Beauxbatons? That would be very interesting. A creature that transforms completely into something else.

Hermione and Ginny are the only two who know what’s up in this shot.

Dumbledore was giving Madame Maxime eyes.

Filch is just standing dead in the middle of the Durmstrang wizards.

He is still standing there when Krum and Karkaroff walk in.

The kids so promptly follow Dumbledore’s instructions even though some of them are probably embarrassed about having to sing the school song.

But not Harry James Potter. He is living for this song.

Again we get so many shots of the school in this movie.

You can see the house point containers behind Dumbledore’s head.

You can see them again after the goblet is revealed.

Is that a tower of marshmallows?

OMgosh! The sky acted up when Crouch Jr came in because Hogwarts knew that he wasn’t who he said he was!!!!

The cup is so primitive looking compared to the container that is in.

It almost looks like each layer was created by a different faction of the wizarding world as a whole. That could definitely be a fanfic.

The perspective starts on the Durmstrang ship which again features a dragon.

Cages, nets in the background of the DADA classroom.

There is also a lot of glass and mirrors in the room which almost makes me think of a fun house where you don’t look like yourself in any of the mirrors which is super fitting for Crouch Jr. at this phase.

Why does Hermione look so suspicious already?

And what is the use of all the bugs, Crouch Jr. you sick mother f-er.

Who needs fifty overflowing worms in a jar?

Dean Thomas is straight up rocking a composition notebook from Walmart on that desk. He is representing Muggle culture at its finest.

Crabbe is wearing a ring. Is that his heir ring? That would be interesting as we see the younger generation start to really get pulled into the war in this film.

The portrait on the stain glass crying. We have all seen this, and appreciate the majesty.

We love a rain soaked Robert Pattinson.

Everyone is just watching the battle between the twins and Hermione.

There is no other light in the Great hall except for the Goblet? Dumbledore does love his aesthetic.

Snape is like, get me out of here.

And that display of power is why all of them dang kids sing that dorky song.

Who is Cedric kissing here as he goes up to the head table?

The cup is like the opposite of the Goblet of Fire. It is shiny and bright and new while the goblet is ancient looking.

You can see Harry’s scar quite prevalently in this shot.

The Hogwarts trophy room. I have never connected this before. It is huge.

Karkaroff has gold fillings.

What are the spinning trophies and where can I get one?

One light on in the top part of the castle.

Pensieve memories are blue, and the Goblet’s fire is blue. Coincidence? Fic writers, you tell me.

The suns on the curtains in the boy’s dorm is a nice touch.

Ron has a homemade quilt. I bet he gets those for birthday gifts instead of the infamous Christmas sweater. Molly Weasley is a boss.

What are all of these trophies for? I bet Dumbledore keeps all the ones that the various clubs and groups have won over the years.

Magical cleaner?

The scope of Hogwarts is amazing.

The owlery is literally covered in bird shit, like every inch. Dumbledore clearly instructs Filch not to clean it to deter frisky students.

Is that a cat on the stairs there?

I can’t ever decide if the Common Room looks too big or too small, here.

Harry talks about Voldemort so casually. But I guess if someone tried to kill me year after year we would form a sort of familiarity.

Those cabinets in the back are filled with board games. Bet me. Gryffindors are notoriously bloody, and game night, gets wild.

I bet Neville spends a lot of his time in the lake just researching and studying all of the different plant life.

Neville cares not at all for the drama behind him. He’s just like, “Give me the plants”.

I love that bright orange flower. Hagrid ain’t no fool. He knows how to get the ladies.

The mist in the background could almost be taken as fog, but then you think about the dragon’s and it literally could be smoke.

Hagrid representing all of the men who are shorter than their women.

There looks to be about six dragon handlers here.

They are carrying branches or their wands lit with fire at the end. Is that to confuse the dragons? Make them think that they already covered that area in their territory and are thus safe?

The handler on top gets bucked off the cage. He is done with this job.

I’m sorry, but those badges are ingenious. Do we know in the movie that Draco is the one that made them or is that fanon?

Those Hufflepuffs are nasty.

The sculpture that is seen in that scene in the courtyard looks like the same one that is present in Half Blood Prince. Do they also move around the castle at will?

Harry pushed Draco, and that guy in the back is like, “Yes, let’s have a fight.” Then he and the other guy straight up bounce when Moody pops on the scene. But Goyle is ride or die. Or maybe they ran and got McGonagall because she came really quickly???? Hmmm??

The walls are all green and lightly moss covered. Gorgeous.

Like, is there a legit list of all the things that teachers cannot do. 1. We do not use Transfiguration as a punishment. 2. Trying to main or kill students is expressively forbidden. 3. Flashy robes are allowed and encouraged. Share in the glorious pattern of life.

Crouch Jr. should have been shitting his pants at being at the end of McGonagall’s wand.

Again with all the mirrors. So, Crouch Jr. can make sure that his transformation isn’t slipping?

What are the faces in the mirror here?  

All the clues were there, and I didn’t see a single one. This movie and book is a masterpiece of plot. Plain and simple.

McGonagall was like, “Let’s not have the arena with the dragons so close to the castle, eh, Albus?”

There is a bed for each of the champions in this tent. Could no one transfigure a couch?

They have punch and muffins in the background. “Lime punch before you fight a dragon?” “Sure.”

I never noticed that blue in Madame Mazime’s hair. I love the school spirit that she is showing here. Dumbledore seriously thought of mimicking her. He would look bomb with a tie die beard. Convince me otherwise.

Filch is featured spectacularly in this movie.

The trunk at the bottom has a red cross on it, making this very likely an emergency tent that just so happens to double as the waiting area for the champions.

Colin made that sign for Harry.

I feel like that chain, oh, I don’t know, could have been magically reinforced or something.

How does his glasses stay on? I bend over, and mine are on the floor.

Even Draco here is like, “Come on, bro.”

Snape knew he should have stayed in bed.

So, does the waterfall seen here does that fall into Hogwart’s grounds as well because that would be awesome for field trips. My love for this ancient, magical castle in the middle of nowhere is unmatched.

Where was Seamus during that challenge? I did not see him.

The picture of the woman in the far left is very striking.

The Black Lake is a huge expanse. I always think of it as kind of small, but it is massive in this movie.

The pastries in the back are floating along the table. So cool.

Mrs. Norris just chilling, waiting to see these pitiful humans embarrass themselves.

Why can’t they have healed Harry? I understand the look, but dang, people continuity.

Neville has got them shiny dancing shoes. Augusta was very pleased when Neville asked her to buy them for him.

Hermione is a queen, and she knows it.

There is that semi circle of stone again from the third film. Hmmm….

Ginny’s friends are coming in with the support. Love a squad.

There was fruit on that table. I always wondered if they got snacks and what not during the daytime, between meals.

What was the need of carriages if the ball was held at the school?

Ron waited until last minute to even try on those robes or he definitely could have worked something out.

Owl sculptures are supporting the fires here.

Krum is dumbstruck by our girl.

Somehow she loses Krum to argue with Ron.

Is that couple making out at the table?

People are dancing in the hallway?

A gaggle of girls are crying on the stairs. Every middle school dance ever.

I’m telling you, whoever designed this cemetery had a very messed up imagination.

Neville stays out all night long. It is morning coming through that window. You dog, you.

Half of the allure of going to Hogwarts is to get to become a prefect and use that bath. Let’s be honest.

Crouch Jr. hates his life right now.

All of those books are like represent my best life.

Half of those students are like, “Yeah, no, you took all my money last time.” Because let’s be real, no one bet on Harry, and Fred and George scored big time.

Those top tiered placed have got to be enlarged with wizard’s space because they are quite small, and the whole school plus the two others are expected to attend each trial? Yeah, not big enough it seems.

Harry is a show off.

Seamus is wearing Hogwarts merch. Like where did he get that? A catalog? Gift shop in Hogsmeade?

You can see the merpeople’s ancient village here, or hints of it. Archways, etc.

Fleur looks legit worried here. Like Harry was right to not trust Dumbledore to ensure their safety when he can’t even tell Fleur who is out of the competition by this point that her sister is going to be okay.

Why are Fred, George, and Ginny right next to Malfoy and Co. for this shot, shouldn’t they be at odds? Or was that the best spot and neither were giving it up?  Or plain movie making reasons?

Harry is wearing a wand holster on his leg. Fanfiction writers catch all the details.

Seamus is like, “I am Harry’s hype man. I will keep him from getting hypothermia.”

Why did Hermione turn French here for that line?

Rescue….. that’s a strong word here, Dumbles.

Crouch Sr. is such an interesting character. He knows what it is like to lose a family, and he has his guard up because of that. Their story and their family is so interesting to me for some reason.

I think that’s the closest that Crouch Jr. gets to breaking character.

If you were born in the nineties you had at least one of those jackets that Hermione is wearing here, and if you had more, you had them in several colors.

Who bewitched Mad-eye’s eye? It is a very powerful magical object in its own right, right?

Please see my post about Sirius and Azkaban.

As soon as Snape is mentioned Crouch puts his head in his hands because he knows Dumbledore is going to have to have a say.

Dumbledore is looking so closely at the details that he misses the bigger picture in Harry’s dreams and Moody’s actions.

It’s so weird that Snape has a storage area for ingredients near Dumbledore’s office. I bet that Snape has several storage areas spread throughout the castle.

Snape could have just looked inside Harry’s mind, and be done with it, but no….because plot.

Neville is carrying yet another plant behind the trio here.

Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle are so carefree here that you almost forget that the happiness of youth that they have at Hogwarts is about to go extinct just like Harry and his friends. All of the kids in this story face a sharp change in perspective after this book.

I like that Harry has fake Moody, Krum has Karkaroff, Fleur has Madame Maxime, but Cedric has his dad because he gets to say goodbye to him.

The maze is just a massive headgame.

Do you think the reason that Fleur ultimately becomes close enough to Krum to ask him to her wedding is because Krum sought her out and made serious recompense for him being imperioused while in the maze?

They are just resorting to brute strength there at the end. The maze making them forget that they are capable wizards. A jelly legs jinx probably would have had much the same effect.

Angel statues I get, but this big dementor, grim looking thing holding the bones of Voldemort’s father. I just don’t get it.

Cedric gave Peter a chance to speak or stop, but Peter again took the cowards way out, and blasted Cedric before he really had a chance to fight back. What a punk bitch.

I’m glad that you are forced to choke your own self Peter because you deserve it.

Voldemort’s transformation here is both stunning and horrible.

The Death Eaters come out of the Dark Mark’s mouth.

Their masks here are different then the ones used earlier in the morning.

Voldemort is snatching their weaves here, and I love it. Stupid klan robe wearing wizard Nazis.

Voldemort puts his foot on Cedric’s face. Like, son, you need to pay for that privilege.

A lot of the Death Eaters here look like they have like staffs. I don’t understand.

A Death Eater in the background is litearlly clapping when Voldemort makes Harry bow, like get a hold of yourself, Hershel.

The statue, again, in the background presents such a striking image as the two duel.

The spell that Crouch Jr. urged Harry to learn is the one that saved Harry.

Harry just wanting to physically protect Cedric’s body with his own. Just heartbreaking.

I’ll never not sob when I hear Amos Diggory sob, “That’s my son! That’s my boy!”

Fred and George look to follow Crouch Jr. and Harry out. Do they tip off the professors?

Doesn’t Crouch know what it is like to stand in Voldemort’s presence? He was just babysitting the man, I mean, dang. Fangirling is one thing, but you have business to handle.

Don’t insult my Neville. I will throw down.

The mirrors are gone at this point. It looks like Crouch has almost packed up because he knows that he will no longer be needed.

Not his blood, ahhhhh!!!!!

Snape puts such flourish into his casting. That scene at the carriages earlier in this film. He looks like he is rearing back away from Karkaroff, but he is merely preparing to cast one fanciful, flourish of a hex on the man.

Just stick your face in the crazy Death Eater’s face, Harry. Great thinking. No wonder Snape doesn’t hold your intelligence in high regard.

We don’t get one look at Professor Sprout. This boy’s Head of House?

Look at all that magical cooperation, and yet, none of this was used in book seven, or any book after except for mentioning Fleur married Bill, and Harry learned a little tidbit about the Deathly Hallows symbol from Krum.

I love this film. It is stunning, and truly made me a diehard HP fan. I don’t think I will ever really tire of it.

#Harry Potter #Goblet of Fire #Harry Potter and the goblet of fire #Harry Potter thoughts #Harry Potter analysis

[kristarocksyourworld]

Quaranthings: Korean Dramas

It’s been a while, Tumblr. LOL I haven’t posted in a while – but we are living in a time of pandemic. I have never thought such day would come but here we are.

It has been 41 days since Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) was implemented in Manila – and I have managed to catch up on my Korean drama backlog.

Thanks to streaming sites like Viu and Netflix, I have spent countless hours just catching up on the latest dramas (The King: Eternal Monarch, Itaewon Class) and the ones I have not finished watching (Mr. Sunshine, Reply 1997, Go Back Couple, Kill Me, Heal Me, My Love from the Stars). I also found time to rewatch my favorites (Secret Garden, Innocent Man).

The last one I watched was Mr. Sunshine. The writer, Kim Eun Sook, tells the story of a Joseon slave-turned-American soldier named Eugene Choi and a noble named Go Ae Sin – and the people around them: the mysterious samurai Go Dong Mae; the rich playboy Kim Hee Seong; and the beautiful, rich heiress/double agent named Hina Kudo. Set in the early years of the Korean Empire (led by Emperor Gojong), the drama depicted the political turbulence of the time: the traditional Joseon ways clashing with that of imperialists as well as the personal struggles of each character. Then there’s storge, eros, philia, and agape - I’ll probably write another review of that because in terms of writing, I think this is the best Kim Eun Sook drama. 

 I have been meaning to write something like this, but I guess I was inspired to share with the world why I love Korean dramas – like it really is a hill I would die on anytime.

Some weeks ago, a Filipino director openly tweeted his disdain for Korean dramas. In his words, he said that Filipino movies and tv are “doomed” because of “K-drama galore: faux Cinderella stories with belofied whiter than white actors. And it’s all about love in the midst of pandemic.”

 LMFAO. I had to laugh.

It came from a director with reputable filmography – I mean I loved two (2) of his films for their social commentary but I have to ask.

How many Korean dramas have you watched – LOL don’t tell me you only watched Crash Landing on You.

HELLO, ITAEWON CLASS WAS IN THE TOP 10. DID YOU WATCH THAT? Did you watch the rags-to-riches story of Park Saeroyi and his quest for justice to defeat the biggest food company, Janga Corporation?

Have you watched Sky Castle? The compelling story of rich families and their schemes to get their children into the best universities?

 How about the Reply series? A nostalgic drama that tells the story of families, youth, and the times they lived in – 1994, 1997, 1988 – the nostalgia was fucking rich. I especially enjoyed 1994 and 1997.

Did you check out Another Oh Hae Young: a woman struggling to come into terms with her personal insecurities? Or have you picked up on It’s Okay, That’s Love: a romantic drama that properly tackled mental illness (the lead had schizophrenia).

From personal experience and the vast filmography of Korean dramas I have seen, let me point out why Korean dramas are the best – and why they’re so fucking addicting. I would have to say that this is not a research paper but rather a lengthy analysis based on my 12-year experience as a Korean drama enthusiast.

 1.      Creative value

Every drama starts with a great plot.

Sure, many Korean dramas are romantic. In fact, most of the Korean dramas I have seen in the early 2000s are romantic: Autumn in my Heart; Stairway to Heaven; Winter Sonata; Full House; My Name is Kim Sam Soon; and Princess Hours. There’s also Memories of Bali; I’m Sorry I Love You; and Coffee Prince. These dramas actually launched the Hallyu (Korean wave) that we know today – and their plots have the typical Korean drama romantic equation: guy meets girl – they don’t get along at first – then they fall in love – misunderstandings (or separation) ensues – reunited – fall in love again – they get married or end up together (or a lead dies). Then there are the non-romantic ones (historical): Jewel in the Palace and Jumong.

But as time went on, you see that the genres become varied – we started seeing action dramas (one of my favorites was Time Between Dog and Wolf) and medical dramas. Then there were dramas that also featured how Korean dramas were made (The World We Live In).

Korean dramas have varying plots that get recycled in many instances but with great plots also come characterization. The characters we see in dramas remind us of real people – we always relate to a character and we all get frustrated when they make stupid decisions (the Noble Idiot Syndrome) that really do not make sense. At the end of the day, we want happy endings for those who deserve happiness – we want justice served, we want closures, etc. because that’s how humans are.

In many romantic dramas, plots are reused but no character is the same. They would have similar traumas but never the same, carbon-copied character. There are villains you want to kill and then there are villains you sympathize with – because you realize that humans are multilayered, complicated creatures.

 2.      Production value

Another observation I have with Korean dramas is their careful attention to details. When writers create the script, they somewhat have actors in mind to play the character. In Korean dramas, they don’t really care about love teams. In the Philippines, we produce dramas based on the hottest pairs. In Korea, they don’t give a shit about that. Dramas are produced with the intention of creating a meaningful production so actors are chosen based on whether the writers and producers think they can bring their characters to life, not because they are the hottest commodity. In some dramas, actors have to audition, but in many instances, scripts are sent to actors with potential to perfectly portray the character.

Prior to filming, writers, actors, and production staff would spend a day or two in story conferences – actors would have the opportunity to discuss with everyone how he or she thinks his/her character is like. The directors and writers would provide their input on how the characters should talk, act, etc. Actors would also take the extra mile to learn a skill or two for the characters they played. They would have dialect coaches, language instructors, etc. Writers would consult with professionals – for instance, in many medical or legal dramas, they would hire doctors or lawyers on board to verify accuracy of terms. During broadcast, you would even see the jargon on screen to simplify them for the audience. In historical dramas, you would also see the terms used (in Chinese characters) and explain them in hangul.

During filming, you’d see how the staff has placed much attention on details – from the wardrobe to the set. You would also see themes, symbols, etc. The production aspect is really like how movies are: vivid, deliberate, beautiful. Who would’ve thought red pinwheels would make me tear up? 

Each drama has a particular soundtrack – can I just say that Korean dramas have the best soundtrack. Each song played in a specific scene perfectly conveys the mood and feelings of the character. I have cried so many times listening to Park Hyo Shin’s “Snow Flower” (I’m Sorry I Love You) or Ji Sun’s ”Goodbye Without Saying Goodbye) (My Name is Kim Sam Soon). On my Spotify account you would see I have played Goblin, DOTS, and CLOY OSTs countless times.

In the past, dramas are not really pre-produced (meaning script came a week or two before filming). There are dramas wherein halfway through the broadcast, they had to switch writers because the earlier writer had a falling out with the production – so you’d see that the quality suffers (story plots would go crazy lol). There are dramas wherein they had to replace the actors because of scandals or accidents. In the last 5 years however, Korean dramas have become pre-produced: meaning the dramas will be filmed 6 months-2 years before being broadcasted. I guess this aspect has contributed to the fact that many Korean dramas are already available on streaming sites.

 3.      Cultural value

Each drama gives us a slice of the Korean culture – food, drink, skincare, attraction, and history. And noraebang (karaoke). Every romcom Korean drama has to have a scene at the noraebang...or jimjilbang (sauna). 

Modern and traditional Korean dramas have to feature food: Korean barbecue, stew, side dishes. LOL you name it. There’s also soju, beer, and makgeoli. BEER AND CHICKEN. 

In most modern Korean dramas, makeovers are a must. You would see product placements of known Korean products: Laneige, Etude House, Nature Republic, etc. The characters would go shopping in a particular shop like The North Face. Their coffee dates would be in one of these (Caffe Bene, Dal.Komm, HOLLYS, Zoo Café, Mango Six). They would buy their cakes or bread from Paris Baguette or Tous Les Jours.

Then there are road trips – many Korean dramas would feature a particular attraction, province, or city. Who can forget Nami Island (thanks Winter Sonata) or Namsan Seoul Tower (Boys Over Flower) or Petite France (Secret Garden, My Love from the Stars)? Of course, you can’t forget Busan (Reply 1997) or Jeju (Warm and Cozy) or Gangwon-do. It is definitely a K-drama fangirl’s dream to be able to visit in one of these places so we can relive our favorite Korean drama moments.

All of Korean dramas I have seen put emphasis on family – the importance of filial piety is always highlighted. The characters are often portrayed as dutiful daughters or sons. Conflicts often ensue when the character is challenged to choose between the parents or the love of his/her life (well in most Korean dramas that’s the case lol). Many dramas portray characters who try to be the good daughter-in-law and yet nothing is ever good enough. Then there are subtle flexes on Korea as an emerging superpower as seen by drama characters (chaebols) who head conglomerates. There is always a character who is filthy rich and can afford a billionaire lifestyle. Product placements include big companies like Samsung, Hyundai, etc.

Slice-of-life dramas also depict the realities in Korean society. Because This is My First Life and Something in the Rain aptly depicted the realities of harassment in the workplace from a woman’s experience. Many Korean dramas also relay harsh realities: meritocracy in the workplace; young adults juggling multiple jobs to make ends meet, etc.; even real estate situations are featured. Often you would find characters renting a small room because that’s all they can afford. From the dramas you would also notice that Koreans are not very kind towards single mothers or orphans. Then of course, there’s the North and South Korea situation: Crash Landing on You, Doctor Stranger, Spy Myeong-Wol, Descendants of the Sun are a few dramas that discussed this theme. The Reply series is a nostalgia drama featuring families that lived through some of important events in South Korea like the Seoul Olympics (1988), Asian financial crisis (1997), Sampoong Department Store collapse (1995), and the historic World Cup (2002).

Korean historical dramas are also interesting on their own – I guess until now, the Japanese occupation of Korea is still a sensitive matter for Koreans. Many of the dramas that feature such themes always depict the resilience and resolve of Koreans as they try to fight off the enemy. Yes, the scenes are depicted artistically, and the thought lingers long after the episode is over.

In terms of marketing, the government has also been proactive. With the Korean Wave (Hallyu), Korean dramas, as well as films, music, food, etc. have become an important commodity overseas. In 2016, Korean Culture Center wrote that Descendants of the Sun was sold to 27 countries, posting a profit of over KRW 10 billion (Php 412 million). The government acknowledges the important contribution of Korean dramas in tourism. Numerous papers have already been published showing the effect of hallyu in the South Korea tourism industry.

 To make the long story short:

Korean dramas have gone beyond “faux Cinderella stories with belofied whiter than white actors”.  I mean, if you want to produce a quality drama, it takes time and effort. Personally it has become a great escape from the realities I face. I do not welcome opinions that clearly spring out of snobbery and disdain for another person’s craft. Perhaps the director can look beyond the Top 10 (since that’s what he mentioned) and check out the wide selection on Netflix. Viu is also a great platform (I’ll start on World of the Married – been hearing and reading about it lol)

Hallyu did not flourish overnight, and the Korean drama industry – while a great model to cite – is also not perfect. There have been numerous cases and instances when staff are overworked or not paid long after the production is over. The #MeToo movement has also exposed some actors who have harassed fellow actors. If we want Filipino dramas to enjoy the same spotlight as that of the Korean dramas, we should be frank about the outputs we have had. We have potential, but it really is up to the decision-makers (at least from the network perspective since it’s all about profits and star value rather than quality production in the Philippines) to come up with a formula that would revitalize Filipino dramas. I can’t say the same for Filipino films because we have great films – the dramas need much work to be profitable. I mean, are we really satisfied with a few dramas being sold overseas? When will we produce dramas that are at par with our Korean chingus? If you want Filipino dramas to be streamed on Netflix or Hulu or Apple TV – maybe we can look at genres beyond police brutality or infidelity or hacienderos harboring a secret child somewhere.

 Anyway, Korean dramas are awesome – and that’s the tea.

[jcurncy]

@gcldess asked: a lot of questions i’m gonna break down 1 by 1.

p.s i loooooveeee jackee w my whole-ass heart.

under the cut bc it’s LONG

does ching remember her mother, or just things she heard from her dad?

ching has very distant memories of her mother. her face, her perfume, her voice. if she tries to remember her mom she can very distinctly remember these things, and they make her feel very small and vulnerable. chang doesn’t talk much about her unless ching asks, and ching stopped asking around the time pucca’s parents went missing. ching will always have a piece of her heart missing that her mother took with her, but it becomes much smaller the older she gets and the closer she grows to her friends.

how does she deal with won's death?

not very well at first. she knew it was coming because won was getting old. she got fairly sick and ching just knew it was over. she fought for won as hard as she could with vet visits and medicines and anything she could do. won was her closest confidant and best friend after her mother left and before she was very close with abyo and pucca. her five stages look like this:

denial: lasts all the way through the first vet visit. when the vet announces that yes there’s nothing much they can do for won, she breaks down in the room right there, holding won close to her chest and crying. abyo or pucca went with her, and whoever it was just sits next to her and let’s her cry.pucca hates seeing ching cry, so she’d probably try to cheer her up, but it’s not very successful. abyo would also try and cheer her up, but he’d ultimately fail, too. garu would probably just let her cry, and when she was okay and ready to leave he’d make sure she got home okay.

anger: she’s in the dojo attacking anything for a week. if she’s not spending time with won during her last few weeks, she’s trying to kill something.any of their typical enemies attack? ching slices through them like nothing. her best friend is dying there’s nothing she can do to fix it so get the fuck out of her way. tobe probably picks up on it pretty quickly and avoids attacking when either of the girls are around.

bargaining: it doesn’t last long. she pleads with everyone she can think of that could save him, but even master soo can’t meddle in death.

depression: it’s so bad she can’t get out of bed. she and won just stay in bed for days. won is sick but trying to comfort ching until the end. it’s only when ching realizes this that she is able to pick herself up out of bed every day. she may not do much more than get up and get dressed and other usual hygiene things, but she gets. out. of. bed. and sometimes that’s all you can ask for.

acceptance: she thinks she’s accepted it before won finally passes, but she doesn’t actually seem to accept it until won’s tiny casket has been buried behind the dojo. there’s a small ceremony, with all they’re family. ching says a few words about how much won had always meant to her, and how she’s sad to see her go, but is glad she’s no longer in pain. she has the other chickens by now, and they knew won too, so their all grieving. garu doesn’t break his vow of silence very often but i can see this being one of the exceptions.(@honrr) having her other chickens does help her move on. having other creatures to live for, things to accomplish, goals to meet, helps her feel better. she spends more time tending to her flower garden, painting and photographing and enjoying her more artistic hobbies. she grows, she copes, and she never forgets. she has a plaque made that hangs in the living room. “In Honor of Won, The Greatest Chicken Best Friend a Girl Could Have.” The other chickens can’t read so they can’t be offended.

who does ching hate more, tobe, dada, or ring ring, and why?

ching will always tell you she doesn’t feel hate, but it’s not true. she hates bugs. but she doesn’t truly hate any of these people. she hates parts of their personalities, but she sees the potential for goodness in all of them. she knows tobe is capable of love, and ring ring and dada too, for that matter. ching believes that if someone is capable of loving their capable of growing.

she hates that tobe can’t just leave garu alone. she doesn’t know what their feud is over, but she finds it so annoying that it’s so constant.

she hates the way dada treats pucca. how pucca is always so kind and forgiving of him, but he stabs her in the back and helps kidnap her uncles! so right now dada is in first place for most hated.

she hates who ring ring has become. how manipulative and mean she is. part of her can’t believe they were ever friends with her, and another part wonders where they all went wrong. ching sees a lot of her own insecurities in ring ring, and she genuinely pities her. ring ring is a reminder to her that she can’t bottle up and hide all the things she doesn’t like about herself. she has to be open about them. it’s not always easy, but she tries hard every day to take the steps necessary to not feel spiteful to her best friend in the world.

so it’s probably dada. she sees true potential for good in tobe, and just pities ring eing, but dada has seriously traumatized pucca, and that does not fly with ching.

what is ching's favorite movie?

she honestly rly likes old kung fu movies that abyo makes her watch, they’re her guilty pleasure. she’ll put up a fight on movie night but it’s all for show. her favorite is the original karate kid. ching doesn’t have one all-time favorite. she has certain movies that are top-tier, and karate kid is always hovering in the top five.she;s also a sucker for cheesy chick flicks from the late ‘90′s early 2000′s

when does she first realize she has feelings for abyo?

oh man. that’s.

so at first it’s like. “this is a dude i’ve known my whole life, i think he’s cute, we’re kids”. that kinda crush. where you like them bc you’ve known each other forever and everyone thinks you’ll get together anyways. ching glides along with this no problem. she doesn’t realize it goes deeper until abyo starts getting rly flirty (in-show) and she realizes that the anger it makes her feel is really jealousy. she’s 11 so she doesn’t think on it too hard. just continues with the “he’s my boyfriend” and getting frustrated at him for flirting so much. she also takes a lot of cues from pucca because she’s never seen a functional relationship. she knew pucca’s parents, but they were just her best friends parents, they never felt like an example of a relationship to her. so pucca’s constant pursuit spurs ching’s. ching is not as outgoing with her affection as pucca is and she has impulse control. so when it hits her like “wow these are real feelings.’ would be like high school age. u know. when ur figuring all that shit out in the first place. she takes a good long think about her feelings more in general, and she notices how often abyo made her feel this or that, more than pucca or garu or won or anyone. abyo is always right there. and that’s when it kinda clicks for her that abyo’s like her person. he’s an idiot. but he’s loyal and lovable and kind. he cares about her.

is she ever jealous of pucca?

it’s not super often, but it does pop up. pucca is sooga village’s “it” girl. she’s cute and sweet and popluar (for good and obvious reasons). and ching is nothing but happy and supportive of her best friend. but there are definitely times when she finds herself envying her. even just slightly. like how everyone is automatically drawn to her, how she barely speaks loud enough to hear and captures everyone’s attention. how pucca is so powerful and strong and perfect that it only makes ching all the more aware of her own insecurities. she doesn’t want to hold it against pucca. she knows she isn’t perfect and that she has her own traumas to face. also that time pucca accidentally kissed abyo she was momentarily like “girl what are u doing” until pucca threw an acorn at him.

is there a villain she respects or feels pity for?

she has respect and pity for the vagabonds. she respects that they’re willing to do what they need to to stay alive and feed themselves. she pities them that it means a life of crime. she pities all of them to an extent, but it’s more like compassion than pity. except ring ring, she truly pities ring ring. like she’ll momentarily pity any villain that’s in pucca’s way, but it wears off once they’re dealt with. dada isn’t technically a villain but she pities him too. after her incident with doga’s sock she wonders if that’s why doga is actually evil, and not because she wants to be. she really doesn’t like tobe, but literally only because he’s always bugging her friends. if he’d leave them alone she’d probably find a way to get along with him.

#gcldess #🐔ˢᵉⁿᵗ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉˢ/ᴀsᴋs. #🐔ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵐʸ ʰᵉᵃʳᵗ ᵗᵒ ʸᵒᵘʳˢ/ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴs. #🐔ʰᵒᵘˢᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵒᵘˢᵉ/ᴏᴜᴛ.

[straykidsscribbles]

Flower Boy

Just something short and sweet inspired by a tumblr prompt I’d seen ages ago... it was cute and I thought I’d put my own spin on it! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Summary: Jeongin knew he wasn’t imagining things. His flowers were vanishing right before his eyes and he was not going to rest until he figured out who was responsible for the disappearance. 

Word Count: exactly 2000 words (for funsies), Jeongin x neutral reader

Note- this is fluffy and dorky but it mentions a relative who died and if that’s a trigger please don’t read this. 

Check out my masterlist (in my description) for more of my work!

Jeongin frowned thoughtfully as he counted the irises still blooming on the bush. One, two, three, four, five.

He could have sworn there had been at least seven yesterday.

“Jeongin, why are you staring at the bush? If you glare anymore, they’ll catch fire,” Chan chuckled softly from the porch of their house.

“But hyung, they’re vanishing! I’m telling you, there were seven yesterday, and now there’s only five! And the lavender bush looks more sparse too!”

Chan slid his feet into slippers and made his way over to the edge of the garden. After a few moments he let out a small thoughtful noise.  “You’re right. Your flowers are vanishing. Maybe its one of the others playing a trick on you or something?”

“I’m going to keep watch until I find out. I spent hours on the flowers; whoever’s messing with them is going to get it.”

A laugh escaped Chan as he went back inside to the kitchen to check on his pasta. “Call me if there’s blood kid.”

Okay, maybe I won’t make them bleed, but I swear if it’s Minho hyung’s cats messing them up or Kkami tearing things someone is going to pay for this.

Jeongin had a plan. No one was going to mess with his flowers again.

---

Dew was twinkling lightly on the pretty green plants and grass in the front garden. The light breeze was blowing the wind chimes every so often, filling the air with pretty tinkling noises. It felt peaceful and calm, so unlike the normal hubbub that would fill the house once the rest of the boys dragged themselves out of bed.

Shifting slightly behind the stack of soil bags and various gardening implements, Jeongin shivered slightly in the crisp morning air. He’d counted the days that the flowers went missing, and it was always a Tuesday morning when he’d discover the theft.

So naturally, his Tuesday morning was now being spent crouched in the middle of a flower bed with his phone in hand, ready to snap photos of whomsoever was taking his flowers. This way he’d have proof to accuse the pets—it really was unreasonable how Hyunjin believed Kkami was a perfect angel who could do no wrong.

And that was when he heard the humming.

Someone was walking down the lane, humming quietly to themselves as they approached the fence that bordered the garden. Jeongin ducked lower behind the pile hiding him from view; being caught at this stage would probably not be very pleasant.

He peeked out from behind the edge of the shovel, to see a figure in a hoodie and sweats slide their hand through the fence and pick a few of the marigolds growing at the very edge of the garden. “Sorry about this,” the stranger murmured as they pulled their hand back through the fence and turned to go on their way.

Jeongin stared after the retreating figure in shock. He’d expected an animal of some time, but a person? Picking his flowers?

He needed a new plan to catch them in the act.

---

“Jeongin, let it go, they’re just flowers!” Seungmin rolled his eyes from his perch on the kitchen counter.

“They’re not JUST flowers! I spend time on those! I work hard to make sure they stay alive, no thanks to you people. Do you think every college house looks this nice?” Jeongin was spluttering at this point. “Whoever that jerk is taking my flowers they’re in for it.”

Felix grinned from the dining room table where he had his homework all spread out. “How are you planning on confronting them Jeonginnie?”

“I’ll think of something. But I’m not letting my poor plants be terrorized another week.”

Just at that moment, the door swung open and Changbin, Chan, and Jisung entered, dragging their feet after another long night of composing and even longer morning of classes.

“Excellent. Channie hyung help me knock some sense into this kid. He’s ready to set up this elaborate Rube Goldberg-esque trap to stop someone from stealing his flowers. I mean really?”

“Oh cool! I think I built something like that for a high school project!” Jisung bounced over to his room, energy already refueled at the mention of a new project.

“Wait Jisung! Get back here!” Changbin ran after the younger boy, trying to stop him before he tore through the old papers piled under his bed.

Jisung was something of a pack rat.

“Why don’t you just ask the thief what they need the flowers for?” came the mutter from a half-asleep Minho on the couch.

Jeongin looked taken aback for a moment.

“You mean just… wait for them and ask why they’re stealing flowers?”

“Yeah. There’s probably a reason.”

“Huh” Jeongin frowned to himself. “That would probably work.”

“Great now you can go tell Jisung to not get to crazy planning some wild complicated thing,”

“I heard that! Fuck off!”

“Language!”

The house slowly dissolved back into the chaos that had characterized it ever since the nine of them had moved in together. But Jeongin felt slightly more at ease. He had a plan now.

---

You padded down the sidewalk early Tuesday morning, hands jammed inside your pockets to keep them warm in the cold temperatures. Light frost sparkled on the lawns around you, glittering in the dawn light.

You could make out the flower house—as you’d dubbed it—twenty or so feet away from you. Muttering a small apology under your breath, you quickly covered the distance to the flower garden in a corner of the front yard and slipped your hand through the fence to pick the pretty daisies that were lining the edge of the brick retaining wall.

“So. Who are you stealing flowers for? They’d better be really cute to be worth it.”

You let out a little scream, wheeling around and almost falling over. There, in front of you, was a boy. Where did he pop out from?

He was staring at you with one eyebrow raised, amusement and disdain warring on his face. His arms were crossed over his chest and he was tapping one foot against the ground impatiently.

“I was—”

“Well? I’m assuming you’re stealing my flowers to give to someone, and I want to meet them. Might as well see who’s been getting the products of my hard work this whole time.” The boy frowned at you. “Go ahead, grab the marigolds, a couple of the stems are already broken.”

You gaped at the unknown boy. This is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened in my life. I thought some sweet old lady lived here, not a cute boy.

“Come on then!” Realizing you were still in shock, the boy reached through the fence himself and plucked five marigolds and a sprig of baby’s breath.

“I’m so sorry I just… broke student life you know? I’m really sorry about stealing your flowers…” you trailed off, realizing the boy had never introduced himself.

“Jeongin. Apologies won’t get you out of it that easily. I’m coming along on your date and telling your partner where you’ve been getting them flowers. What’s your name? Or should I just call you flower thief?”

Arguing was probably not going to get you anywhere. The only way out of this was going to be the truth… maybe Jeongin would take pity on you once he saw where you were going.

“I’m ______.”

“Cool. Now that we’re introduced, I can follow you without being a weirdo. Let’s get going, can’t keep your friend waiting for their flowers.”

You nodded slowly and began walking once more. Jeongin fell into step with you, flowers dangling from his long fingers. The two of you walked onwards in silence, turning the corner and nearing your destination.

After a couple of blocks, the graveyard came into view. And you heard Jeongin let out a tiny little gasp as the reason for the flowers dawned on him.

You pushed your way inside the wrought iron gate, taking the now familiar path towards the grave under the oak tree. You knelt next to the headstone and smiled sadly at the worn granite.

“Hi Grandmum. I guess it’s time to come clean about the flowers… Jeongin’s been the one growing them. I’m sorry I couldn’t… but then you know how bad my green thumb is. I’m more likely to bring you half dead cacti.”

Jeongin bent down next to you and placed the marigolds on the grave. He was quiet, no longer brash and belligerent.

“Anyways, I’ll come see you next week… love you.” You wiped away the tears pooling in the corners of your eyes as you stood up and turned to leave.

There was silence as you made your way out of the graveyard. Jeongin followed you quietly, not really daring to even look you in the eyes. You held the gate open for him and then closed and latched it behind him, before turning back to head to his house once more.

“So, pretty enough to warrant me stealing your flowers?” You asked, cracking a light smile at the boy.

It was almost as though a dam had just burst. “Oh my god I am so sorry I had no idea! I was so rude and harsh I—I’m so sorry!” The words flooded out of his mouth, tripping and twisting him up.

Your smile grew a little. Jeongin was pretty cute when he was all flustered like this.

“It’s okay, really. She’s been gone for a few years, but I still try and visit her once a week… thanks for the flowers by the way. I can never keep them alive myself, and when I saw yours… I didn’t think anyone would miss them.”

“About the flowers,” Jeongin scratched the back of his head nervously, before turning to face you once more. “I could maybe teach you a couple of my tricks, and you can grow some of your own? You could help regrow all the flowers you’ve picked from my garden.”

“I’d take you up on that offer, but I’d probably just kill all your flowers.”

Jeongin laughed, a sound that made your heart skip a beat. “Trust me. One of my friends almost killed a potted iris by watering it too much. I think we’ll be fine.”

You looked down at the cracks in the sidewalk, turning the offer over in your head. Maybe it was worth it? Jeongin seemed really sweet and kind.

“Alright, but you can’t blame me when all your green children die.”

“They won’t.”

You’d reached the gate of Jeongin’s house, and he paused next to it. “Are you free tomorrow around this time?”

You felt your cheeks heating up, but you nodded. A bright smile spread across his lips and you couldn’t help but return it.

“Perfect. I’ll see you then for your first lesson.”

He waved as he closed the gate behind him and latched it before running up to the door. You watched him go before turning back towards your own home.

He was really kind of cute. And sweet.

You couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning. Even if you had to wake up ridiculously early just to see Jeongin, you had a feeling it would be worth it.

Bonus:

“So, who’s your flower thief kid?” Minho asked as Jeongin entered the house.

To his surprise, Jeongin blushed heavily, turning towards the kitchen without saying another word.

“Hey! I was talking. No respect from you youngsters these days,” Minho cribbed as he followed Jeongin. “Guys! He’s hiding something.”

“Don’t bother Minho. I saw the whole thing.” Woojin smirked at Jeongin’s blushing face. “So, you’re going to teach your flower thief gardening? Careful they don’t steal your heart along with those flowers.”

“SHUT UP HYUNG!” Jeongin flounced off to his bedroom, cheeks fully aflame now.

Woojin just high fived Minho as they watched.

“You up for teasing the kid after his date tomorrow?”

“Is that even a question?”

#stray kids #sk-writersnet #skzwriters #stray kids scenarios #i.n #stray kids i.n #jeongin #yang jeongin #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids x neutral reader #stray kids x reader #jeongin x reader #i.n x reader #frost scribbles #its a cute prompt if a little macabre #it made me laugh

[kwritersworld]

Spring Fic Exchange - Masterlist

Here you can find all the stories written by our lovely members that participated in our Spring Fic Exchange ‘19. Enjoy reading!

Your Kwritersworld Team

Sheer | written by @daelicious-jongbulge

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff,Romance, HS!AU | Wordcount: 582 | gifted to: @i-live-so-i-love ➵ Yoongi, your resident emo!tm kid would have never believed it if you told him he would fall in love with resident sunshine, Hoseok

Cafuné | written by @99liners

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: fluff/comedy/nsfw | Wordcount: 3.336 | gifted to: @vanaera ➵ Cafuné (v.) running your hand through your lover’s hair.

Sweet Histamine | written by @writingsofmyimagination

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Smut | Wordcount: 2.663 | gifted to: @njssi ➵ Who would have thought forgetting to take your hay-fever tablets could end so sweetly.

Spring Rain | written by @today-we-will-survive

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff, Romance | Wordcount: 861 | gifted to: @writingsofmyimagination ➵ “So much for a romantic first day of Spring picnic,” you utter clutching the basket tightly in your white knuckled fists. From where the two of you lean in the doorway of your apartment building, you have a front row seat to the torrential downpour coming down on the city. [...]

Witchy Weddings | written by @itsthechickwiththehair

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff, Romance | Wordcount: 1.000 | gifted to: @today-we-will-survive➵ “What do you think the clouds look like today?” It was a question he asked you almost every day there were clouds in the sky. [...] The clouds looked like clouds, big pieces of fluff that drifted across the sky and occasionally spilled their tears to the earth below. You had asked him, on a day that he seemed to be feeling blue, why he liked asking you the same question every time. He smiled in response, looking up at the sky. “Because clouds are a lot like people.” [...]     

Let me inspire you | written by @today-we-will-survive

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff, Romance, Angst | Wordcount: 1.375 | gifted to: @minstrivia ➵ It’s a short walk to Yoongi’s apartment, but one you always enjoy. The trees lining the streets of the city are in full bloom, coating the sidewalks with white and pink petals. The air smells fresh like grass and last night’s rain. You’ve always loved the spring the most. It’s a time for new things to come into fruition. And it’s when you met Yoongi.

Dancing in the rain | written by @itsthechickwiththehair

➵ Band: Got7 | Genre: Fluff,Romance | Wordcount: 1.200 | gifted to: @restlessmaknae ➵ You packed up your things and started to head out, saying goodbye to your coworkers as you passed by their desks. Most of them looked like their souls had been ripped out of their bodies, although some of them looked a bit more awake with the amount of caffeine they had flowing through their system. You were halfway there yourself, but most of your motivation to get the project done as fast as you did was the thought of your loving boyfriend.

Spring is here (and it’s trying to kill you) | written by @today-we-will-survive

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff | Wordcount: 1.500 | gifted to: @njssi ➵ It’s supposed to be a fun, relaxing day with your best friends, celebrating the end of the cold months and hanging out before they go back on tour but you can’t help the uneasy feeling that’s growing in the pit of your stomach as you look around the field at the tiny specks floating on the breeze. Those evil little balls of fluff and pollen are your worst enemies, and here you are completely unarmed.

Querencia | written by @softjeon

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff, a little bit of angst | Wordcount: 3.500  | gifted to: @seokoloqy ➵  In reality there was no beauty in heartbreak. Nothing that made it easy. Only pain. The cold and yourself - stripped down to your bare feelings. It embraced you, welcoming you like an old friend, leaving you wondering if you’d ever feel warm again. | querencia (Spanish, n.) - a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self

I’m just a foreigner | written by @jinniesbby

➵ Band: NCT | Genre: High School!AU | Wordcount: 728 | gifted to: @bangtantannie ➵  You take a step towards the pain in the ass that calls himself Lucas and narrow your gaze.“Okay. Listen up buddy and listen well. I will never in a million years go out on a date with you.” You state firmly, poking his well-toned, chiseled chest. Wait. What? Has he always been like that?

I saw him standing there | written by @jinniesbby

➵ Band: NCT | Genre: Angst, Romance | Wordcount: 771 | gifted to: @99liners ➵ The neighbor who doesn’t know about your swift infatuation with him. The neighbor who only makes you fall deeper and deeper in the black hole that you call a crush. The neighbor who so happens to like another girl that it honestly causes your heart to ache whenever you think about it.

Lil something called love | written by @daelicious-jongbulge

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff, Romance | Wordcount: 825 | gifted to: @itsthechickwiththehair ➵ all life contains water and all life can be bent to your whim. 

Blood in the water | written by @seokoloqy

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Smut, Angst, Avatar!AU | Wordcount: 6.800 | gifted to: @sopewriters ➵ It’s just- you know- sitting here and seeing you surrounded by all these beautiful flowers like the perfect angel you are, makes me realize just how in love I am with you” or in which Yoongi sneaks you out to a flower field the night before your wedding

The melody remedy | written by @daelicious-jongbulge

➵ Band: Day6 | Genre: Fluff, Romance | Wordcount: 543 | gifted to: @restlessmaknae ➵ In which he softy lulls you to sleep in the midst of a springtime storm.

Sleep Morning | written by @i-live-so-i-love

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Smut | Wordcount: 2122 | gifted to: @softjeon ➵ Sleepy morning cuddles turn into more.

Euphoria| written by @kimlinebiased

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Smut | Wordcount: 4500 | gifted to: @softjeon ➵ Jungkook has had a crush on the leader of BTS since forever. Now that Namjoon is helping write his solo for the upcoming album, this could be his perfect chance.

Tears & Raindrops mingle | written by @restlessmaknae

➵ Band: Ikon | Genre: Fluff, light Angst | Wordcount: 4100 | gifted to: @flora-jimin ➵ In which you bump into the CEO of a nearby bar when you are just as heart-broken as him and it doesn’t seem to go well at first.

Balter | written by @99liners

➵ Band: MonstaX | Genre: Fluff | Wordcount: 2064 | gifted to: @flora-jimin ➵ balter (v.) to become tangled.

A window to your heart | written by @vanaera 

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff, slight angst | Wordcount: 3725 | gifted to: @today-we-will-survive ➵ When you–Jimin’s hellbound boss who initiates ridiculous post-it wars, unnecessary height challenges, whilst giving him loads of paperwork he finds too much for an intern–do not show up at work one Thursday, Jimin is definitely over the moon. However, his supposed miracle day takes a different turn when he later finds himself in a bus stop, awkwardly comforting you after finding you drenched under the rain.

Way down in bed stuy | written by @minstrivia

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Smut, slight angst | Wordcount: 5000 | gifted to: @taendrils ➵ as a final farewell you fuck your sister’s unbelievably attractive knave boyfriend that you definitely do not have feelings for…again.

La Vie en rose | written by @sopewriters

➵ Band: EXO | Genre: Fluff, Angst, Humor | Wordcount: 5500 | gifted to: @roseyjongdae ➵ It was a chaotic morning, and you were running late, and everything that could possibly have gone wrong did go wrong, and then… you found him. If only you hadn’t lost him just as quick.

No Place He’d rather be | written by @flora-jimin

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff | Wordcount: 5300 | gifted to: @apotatomashedbybts ➵ Yoongi gets called to help out at Jin’s daycare and the following is a small, fluffy oneshot of him realizing Hoseok’s wonderful at childcare and that he’s fallen head over heels for the man.

Fallen for you | written by @njssi

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff | Wordcount: 4400 | gifted to: @jinniesbby ➵ Your best friend returns to your life after half a year of almost no communication while he dealt with an ending relationship. However, you could have never guessed what he really had to tell you when you agreed to meet.

A Valentines Date | written by @sopewriters

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff | Wordcount: 2000 | gifted to: @jinniesbby​ ➵ So, you and your fake boyfriend decide to spend a Valentine’s evening together doing a lot less than what most actual couples normally do. Yet, this is the most fun you’ve had in the longest time and gosh, since when did looking at Jungkook’s stupid smile get your heart to flutter like this?

Under the cherry blossoms | written by @apotatomashedbybts

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff | Wordcount: 5800 | gifted to: @kimlinebiased ➵ Namjoon and Seokjin, high school best friends and college sweethearts, are deeply in love with each other. Just when they were about to take everything next level, a terrible accident pushes them apart, well for a while. But when the love is true, you always stick by. And for them no way is difficult enough if they are together.

But you do... | written by @apotatomashedbybts

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Fluff | Wordcount: 5800 | gifted to: @njssi ➵ Lee, an ordinary girl, with an ordinary wish to have a loving family. But not always all wishes come true, not even the simplest ones. She still has to know that family doesn’t always mean the same, it could be a single person too.]

Breaking the rose | written by @bangtantannie

➵ Band: BTS | Genre: Romance, Angst | Wordcount: 6000 | gifted to: @minstrivia ➵ Lost in a world of rose and pink, what does one do when the one that abandoned them finally returns.

Thank you to everyone who made our first event so beautiful! You all wrote amazing stories and we can’t wait to hold more Network activities in the future!

- Your Kwritersworld Team

#kwritersworldnet #announcements #spring fic exchange masterlist 19