#i will not engage with discourse of the show creator a guy who worked on zim turned out to be a creeper its unvaoalbe to avoid

[iminaworldofpureimagination]

MOXIE IS BABY

#BABY #guess what i just watched #it took a bit of time to stop thinking of ZIM so that was distracting but he baby #helluva boss #moxie #i will not engage with discourse of the show creator a guy who worked on zim turned out to be a creeper its unvaoalbe to avoid #shitty people working in this industry #cause we might as well not watch anything from the 90s considering chris savino worked on a lot of shit #so i dont care how shitty the creator is im just thinking cute monsters

[warmaidensrevenge]

Always seen you

Pairings: Eddie x Insecure!Fem plus size reader x friend!Elio

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

A/N: Hey my loves. Welcome back to my series that got away from me. This is the 22nd part to this. If you would like to catch up. Feel free to click the link above. I updated after most posts. So what's new? Welp I felt like a cute angsty part. Nothing too bad. Just a little jealousy. No Billy in this one. Anywho, I was inspired by a few songs so hopefully you guys can take the time to listen to what helped me write this. I also used a Killswitch Engage song for some lyrics. Thanks for reading. As always feedback is greatly appreciated. Asks and comments are always welcomed. Kay love ya bye.

Warnings: 18+ Language, angst, fluff, sexual implications/ situations, smoking, slight body insecurities, masturbation (f ), oral (f receiving), slow burn and kinda proof read.

Word count: 9,261

I do not give permission for my work to be used on any other site. Respect all creators/writers. Thanks.

Summary: Does it say more about me or you, if i told you that I am still here waiting to do all the things we said we would do? Is there hope that one day, you will be ready?

Part 22

🥺💓

Eddie just got off the plane and was heading to the address you gave him. You didn't know he was coming. That's exactly what he wanted. To just show up and give you flowers. To remind you that he would always show up if you asked or if you needed him to.

It was pretty late when the cab finally dropped him off. He walked up the little pathway through the trees and stopped when he saw you sitting on the balcony. You were nose deep in a book with your legs perched up on the guard. The soft light from the room behind you, looked like God was shining a light on Eddie's heart.

He put down his luggage and took a few steps closer. He heard some music coming from the small radio somewhere near the door. He smiled to himself when he heard you hum to his new album.

He wanted to just say hi. But he had a thought. To make you laugh.

"But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?" Eddie stepped closer putting his hand on his heart. " It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou her maid art far more fair than she."

When you heard him the smile that creeped on you was nothing more than pure unadulterated happiness. You closed your book and stood up. Putting your hands on the railing looking off into the distance as Eddie continued.

"Be not her maid, since she is envious; Her vestal livery is but sick and green. And none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, O, it is my love! O, that she knew she were! She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it. I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks: Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, Having some business, do entreat her eyes. To twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven. Would through the airy region stream so bright. That birds would sing and think it were not night."

You rested your cheek in your hand anticipation for Eddie's next line. Eddie was grinning like crazy seeing you play along.

"See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, That I might touch that cheek!"

You pressed your lips to hold back a laugh. You took a calming breath as you got ready to say your lines.

"Ay me!" You sighed.

Eddie smiled "She speaks: O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art As glorious to this night, being o'er my head. As is a winged messenger of heaven. Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes. Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him. When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds. And sails upon the bosom of the air."

You tugged on your lip. "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet."

Eddie opened his mouth to speak when Elio came out and ruined the scene you and he started.

" Hi Eddie."

He chuckled. " Hey man."

You finally looked down and Eddie was all smiles.

" You came."

Eddie rubbed the back of his neck. " Always."

Elio shook his head. " You guys such dorks. I'll be right down."

Eddie looked around for a second. " Nah man. I'm coming up."

You watched and giggled seeing Eddie shimmy up a drain pipe. Once he was close to the balcony he jumped over the guard.

You put your hand on your wide hip. " I swear you are so dramatic."

Eddie gave you a little bow.

You sighed and went towards him. " Same ol' Eddie Munson. As charming as ever."

He stood back up and smirked. " Missed you Angel."

You looked down at the ground and blushed.

Eddie chuckled so damn pleased with himself. He reached for your chin. Lifting it a little so he could look at you.

" Hi."

A small laugh left you. " Hi."

Eddie then pulled you into his arms. Holding you tightly as you hung onto him. Rocking you from side to side. You laughed again.

" Surprised?"

A muffled yes came from you.

" Good. I uhh brought you flowers but I couldn't carry them up."

You pulled away a little. " That's okay. Give them to me later."

After that you buried your face back into his chest. Eddie moved one of his hands and held the back of your head. Putting his cheek on your crown.

" Alright you two. That's enough. Let's go to bed. We have plans for tomorrow."

You pulled out of Eddie's embrace but you didn't go far. You put your small, warm, soft hand in his large rough one and pulled him along.

Elio went downstairs to grab his stuff.

Eddie let you lead the way to a small room. Just a door away from yours.

" I'm not gonna stay with you?" He asked.

" No. E's parental units are very religious. And they think he and I are dating."

" What?!" Eddie blurted

You stopped mid stride. Turning around and put your hand over his mouth." Shhhh! They don't know E's-"

Eddie cut you off by grabbing your wrist. He kissed the palm of your hand. Causing you to blush yet again.

He let go of your wrist and touched your face with the back of his hand.

" So beautiful Angel."

" No you."

He laughed.

" Common." You said pulling at him again.

You pulled him through a room then stopped at a door. You reached for the handle but Eddie grabbed it and opened it for you.

" M'lady."

You grinned. " You're too much Munson."

"Soooo… what do they know about me?" Eddie whispered, following you into the room.

You let go of his hand and went to turn on a lamp. " They think you're my distance cousin."

" Right…"

Eddie watched you sit down on the bed and patted the spot next to you. He sat down and you put your head on his shoulder.

" You really surprised me Eds."

Eddie leaned his head on yours. " I hope it wasn't too much."

He felt your head shake a little.

" It was perfect."

He grinned. " Good."

Elio came in with the bags and Eddie got up to help him.

" Thanks man."

" No problem. Are you hungry?" Elio asked.

Eddie shook his head. " I'm kinda just want to showered and lay down."

" Yeah okay. You and I are gonna share a bathroom. And the only way out of this room is either through the way you came in or out the window. So no sneaking off to y/ns room."

Eddie chuckled. " Don't want to get you in trouble."

" Common E. Let Eddie gets some sleep."

Eddie's eyes followed you asyou got up. You grabbed his hand and gave it a little squeeze.

" Goodnight Eds."

" Night Angel."

As much as you wanted to sleep with him. You know you couldn't.

Take things slow. You said it over and over like a mantra.

You let go of Eddie's hand and went to grab Elio's.

" Angel?"

" Hmm?" You turned back around and smiled softly.

Eddie was standing there with the flowers.

You took them and smelled them." Thank you Eds."

" You're welcome Angel."

Eddie watched you turn and walk away. Closing the door behind you.

He got ready for bed. But before he laid down he wanted to smoke real fast. He opened the window and lit one. He took a couple of puffs before he heard humming. He stuck his head out and you were sitting back on the balcony.

He listened and figured out what you were humming. He tossed the cigarette and started to sing.

🎵

And baby it's true

You're the one

Who caught me, baby you taught me

How good it could be

Fill your days and your nights

No need to ever ask me twice, oh no

Whenever you want me

And if ever comes a day

When you should turn and walk away, oh no

I can't live without you

So caught up in you

🎵

You turned to looked at him and smiled such a beautiful smile. He swore he saw a goddess smiling at him.

You guys finished the song together and just stared at each other for a minute. Both wanting to be in the other's arms. Both wanting to kiss and make bitter sweet love to each other.

You were the first one to break eye contact.

" Get some sleep Munson. I'll see you in the morning."

" Promise?"

You gave him a small laugh and held out your pinky.

Eddie climbed out of the window just a bit and sat on the ledge while you leaned as far as you could over the railing. Finally close enough you guys hooked each other pinky.

" Now get back in there before you fall."

Eddie nodded and let go of your hand.

" Night Angel."

" Night Eds."

…

The early morning ritual had just began. This time you started to draw Eddie. The way he looked last night was embedded in your brain. He had shaved and he had his hair in a loose bun. He looked so good. So…sexy. You squeezed your thighs together thinking about his soft full lips against your palm. You closed your eyes, dropped your sketchbook and let your head fall back. Feeling his solid frame holding you. His wonderful scent surrounding you again. Your legs fell apart as you pictured the night you spent with him. His tongue lapping between your folds. His thick long cock slowly entering-

" Morning Angel."

You jumped to sit up straight and opened your eyes so wide. You looked over and Eddie was leaning out the window with a huge smirk.

You cleared your throat completely embarrassed. Had he been watching you the whole time?

Fuck!

" Uhhh morning."

Eddie chuckled. He definitely did see you. He saw you rubbing your hand up and down your thigh. Every time getting just a little closer to the treasure between your legs.

" Can I come over?" He asked

" Umm yeah…okay."

Eddie was on the balcony in just a matter of seconds. You had already picked up your sketchbook and turned the page so he couldn't see what you were drawing.

He leaned against the guard right in front of you and had a shit eating grin.

" What were we doing?"

You couldn't help but feel ashamed and very nervous.

" Ummm. N-nothing."

Eddie laughed to himself and went to squat in front of you. His large hands ran up and down your plush thighs.

When your eyes met, your body trembled. You tugged at your bottom lip and his hands went higher.

" What're you thinking Angel?"

Fuck fuck fuck.

" I umm…are you hungry?"

Eddie nodded. He was very hungry. But not for food.

He grabbed your book and set it gently on the ground. After he spread your legs apart. Just as he was about to touch you there you grabbed his hand.

" Eds…umm friends don't do this."

" No…but we do."

Your breath hitched and you could feel your core throb so hard. It was almost painful. You let go of his hand and he touched your clothed warmth. Your head fell back once again and softly moaned.

Eddie was just about to pull down your shorts when Elio called out.

" Breakfast guys."

You sat back up and snapped your knees together. Trapping Eddie's hand.

Thank God!

" Saved by the bell." Eddie sighed, slipping his hand away when you finally let go and stood up.

Eddie watched you grab your coffee and book. Following you out to the kitchen. He smirked to himself watching you wide hips sway. He definitely was going to taste you tonight.

…

After breakfast you guys headed to Venice. It was quite a long trip but it was worth seeing such a beautiful place. You guys found yourselves in a water taxi. Eddie sat next to you the whole time with his hand on the small of your back. Elio of course had already been there so he just laid down and took a nap.

" You look very beautiful today Angel."

You looked at Eddie. " Thank you. "

He leaned in so that he could whisper in your ear.

" Can we finish what we started this morning?"

You swallowed gently. " Umm Eddie. I-"

The guide started to sing. When you looked back the guy driving the boat was smiling at you and Eddie. You listened for a bit and gave him a sweet smile. You turned to look at Eddie.

"I don't care about the moon

I don't care about the start

You for me are the moon and the stars

You for me are the sun and the sky

You for me are everything

All that i want to have

Never ending

Never ending"

" That's beautiful." Eddie said, pulling you closer. " When did you learn Italian?"

" Umm taught myself in like 8th grade."

" I didn't know that."

" There's a lot we don't know about each other. "

Eddie frowned. " I'm sorry."

" Don't be." You whispered, raising your brows. " Keeps the mystery alive."

You put your head on his shoulder.

" I want to know everything about you Angel."

You smiled again. " I would like to know everything about you too."

Just take things slow.

You guys went to lunch after the boat ride, planning on the next activity.

" A museum? Aww common Angel. We're on vacation." Eddie whined.

" Eds. When are you ever gonna do this again? It's going to be fun. I picked the perfect place."

" Maybe for you two." Elio chimed in. " I'm gonna go to the market and see what's going on over there."

You looked at Eddie and pouted.

He shook his head and laughed. " Alright, but this better be cool."

You giggled. " Of course. Have I ever led you astray?"

"Hope it doesn't start now."

You gave him a playful push. " Don't worry. You're gonna love it."

" Alright kiddos, meet me in like two hours. Then we can all go to St. Mark's Basilica." Elio said getting up.

You nodded. "Okay. Hey, don't talk to strangers."

Elio grinned. " How else am I supposed to get a date?"

You let out a throaty laugh. " Okay but make sure to use protection."

Elio raised a brow. " Likewise."

Eddie threw his head back and chuckled.

You slapped his shoulder gently. " Stop it."

" Shit. Sorry. My bad. It's just-"

You covered his mouth. " Don't you dare."

Elio laughed too. " Okkkkayyy. See you two love birds later."

When Elio left you finally took your hand off Eddie's mouth.

" You are…. Too much."

Eddie grabbed at your plush tummy and started to tickle you. " Not too much I hope."

" Ahhh." You giggled. " No…don't"

You tried to push his hands away but he wouldn't let up. So you got up and started running away. And of course Eddie chased you.

" Get back here Angel. I promise I won't bite….unless you want me too."

" God Eddie." You laughed trying to keep out of his grasp.

You rounded a corner into an alley and hid. When Eddie came he skidded to a stop.

" What the hell? Angel?"

He took a few steps and you jumped out from where you were hiding.

" JESUS H!" He yelped, grabbing your arms.

You were in a fit of giggles. " Got you Munson."

Eddie grinned and shook his head. " I'm totally gonna get you back."

There was a moment when your laughing faded and Eddie slowly pushed you up against the brick wall.

He let go of your arms and put his hand flat on the wall behind you. One arm on either side of your head. He felt your hands on his narrow hips, slightly pulling him closer.

Eddie looked down at you. His tongue shot out to lick his lips.

" I really want to kiss you."

Your mouth parted and you took a small breath in. You wanted that too.

" Can I?"

You hesitated for a second. But nodded.

He was just about to kiss you when someone in the window just off the side threw some water out. Splashing you and Eddie shoes.

You did a little hop and jumped into his arms. Both of you laughed again.

" Maybe later then?"

You smiled. " Maybe."

You pulled away and grabbed his hand. " C'mon Munson. We don't want to be late for our tour."

…

You guys were standing outside this big cobblestone building with a sign above.

Museo Della Tortura

" What does it say Angel?"

You beamed at him. " Museum of torture."

" What?! Okay… that's cool as hell."

" I told you you'll like it. They even have an Iron Maiden."

" Seriously?"

" Yup."

" Well what are we waiting for?"

Eddie opened the door for you. " M'lady."

" Thank you Ser Munson."

Eddie was in aww. You really did pick a cool place. You guys took so many pictures. Eddie wanted to get in the Iron Maiden so he stepped over the velvet rope and you quickly snapped away.

" Let's go. Before we get in trouble." You said holding out your hand.

" What? Don't you want to get arrested in international waters? " Eddie joked.

" No thank you. I kinda want to be able to come back here."

Eddie took your hand and grinned. " With me?"

" Hmmm not if you're gonna get me in trouble."

Eddie grabbed his heart. " I wouldn't dream of it Angel."

You guys continued with the tour until you found yourself heading towards another roped off area.

" It says roof access." You answered Eddie's question before he could ask.

" Care to take a gander?"

You looked around to see if anyone's watching.

"It might be a gorgeous view." Eddie tried to convince you.

" Okay. Hurry."

Eddie grabbed the rope and hooked it for you. He followed you up and found something to prop the door open.

He watched you go to the edge or the building and looked around. The slight breeze blew your hair back making you look like a damn Angel.

" Doesn't it make you wanna cry?"

Eddie looked out to the city. It really was beautiful. But what made it even more so was that you were there. He put an arm around your waist and you rested your head on his shoulder.

" I'm really glad you came Eds."

" Me too Angel."

…

The bus ride home was quiet. You had fallen asleep with your head on the window. You didn't look comfortable at all, so Eddie lifted the arm rest and pulled you into his arms. You let out a little sigh and subconsciously got closer. Snuggling into his neck. Wrapping your arms around him.

He kissed your forehead and leaned his head back.

" You guys are really good together."

Eddie looked at Elio and gave him a half smile.

He then took a look at you." Thanks man."

" For?"

" For letting me come. For letting me stay…for taking care of my girl. Just thanks…for everything."

Elio gave him a thin lip smile. " I'm sorry I didn't give her your messages. I just didn't want her to hurt anymore."

" It's okay. I get it. But I'm not gonna hurt her ever again. And I'm not just gonna say it. I'm gonna show her."

Elio nodded and looked at you. " I hope so."

" I will."

Finally at the house Eddie woke you gently.

" Common Angel. We're here."

You looked at him behind heavy lids. " Okay."

He helped you up and led you inside. Everyone showered and washed the hot summer day away.

Eddie and Elio were in the kitchen snacking on stuff when you came out to grab peach and some water.

" So what's the plan?" Eddie asked, pulling his stool closer to yours.

" Well I have a date and my parents are visiting some relatives. So besides the maid. Who is sleeping right about now." Elio looked at his watch. "You guys have the place to yourselves."

You yawned and nodded. " Oh-kay. Are you coming back?"

Eddie put his arm on the back of your chair looking back and forth between you and Elio.

" Probably not until the early morning. "

You yawned again. " Oh-okay. Be careful."

Elio winked at Eddie." You too."

Eddie smirked looking at you. You must have been too tired to catch that.

After Elio left you sighed looking at your peach.

" Want to go to bed Angel?"

" Umm it's still early."

" That's okay. You can sleep if you want."

" No Eds. I'm not gonna sleep away our time together."

He tucked your damp hair behind your ear. " I can sleep with you."

You looked at him and gave him a sweet smile. "How about you come and sit on the balcony with me. It's a nice night. We can play cards or something."

" Whatever you want, Angel."

You got up and he followed.

Eddie sat down outside while you went to find something for you two to do. Even though there was only one thing on your mind.

Friends first girl. Friends first.

When you went outside Eddie smiled at you. You sat down opposite from him and started shuffling and dealing out the cards.

" Ok Munson. This is war."

Eddie leaned over and grabbed his cards. " Oh shit. Okay. Let's do this."

After a few games you were wide awake now. Eddie was being a big cheater. But you didn't care. It was nice spending alone time with him. You hadn't laughed so much in such a long time. And you were glad that Eddie could still do that for you.

However, the thought of Billy crossed your mind. You had to tell Eddie. You needed to be honest with him. He had come all this way. And he's been trying to kiss you and touch you. You couldn't let him do that. Not until he knew the truth. Maybe he would be fine. Or maybe he would be so angry that he left. Hoping for the first, you cleared your throat and put your cards down.

" Eddie?"

" Yeah Angel."

You couldn't look at him. You felt so damn guilty. But you had to. You forced yourself to look at him.

" I have to tell you something…and I don't think you'll like it."

Eddie grabbed your hand. " What is it?"

You looked at your hand in his and prayed to the god that he doesn't hate you after.

You took a second trying to find the right words. But when you felt the tension you just blurted out.

"Billy and I have feelings for each other."

Eddie flexed his jaw and furrowed his brow. But he didn't let go of your hand.

For...for how long?"

You kept your eyes on your hands. " For me…I think it was after the concert…and umm…a few days after my birthday he kissed me."

Eddie squeezed your hand for a second but then loosened it. Still not letting go.

" Does he know that you and I…"

" Y-yes."

Eddie sighed. " And he still kissed you?"

You nodded.

Eddie was filled with all types of feelings. He was angry yet sad. He was jealous but worried. Happy that you were being honest, still upset. There was one question he needed to ask. Though the answer was going to break his heart. He needed to know.

" Did you kiss him back?"

Tears filled your eyes. Know that your answer was going to drive you and Eddie apart. That wasn't something you wanted. A part of you wanted to lie. To say you pushed him away. But Eddie didn't deserve that. He deserved the truth. The whole truth. The truth about Billy, the truth about why you broke things off, and why you even got close to Billy in the first place. He needed to know that even though you had feelings for Billy, that they were nothing compared to how you felt for him. How you've always felt.

" I did."

Eddie squeezed your hand again and looked away. But this time you squeezed back.

" Eddie. I liked the kiss. And I liked being wanted. But that doesn't change how I feel about you. If anything it opened my eyes."

You both loosened your grip.

" Why am I here y/n?"

You lip quivered hearing your name that sounded so foreign coming out of him.

" Because you're the one I wanted here. You're the one I want to be in this place with."

Eddie felt better. But he was still upset. " Why?"

You hesitated for a second. "Please…please look at me."

Eddie met your gaze with tears in his eyes. He blinked them away and saw that you were already crying.

" Because Eddie. I want you. I want you so bad that it hurts. I never wanted anyone as much as I want you. But I can't lose myself again. I can't…I won't."

Eddie reached over to catch your tears. His hand cupping your face felt so good that it made you cry a little harder.

" When I got to the hotel and ended things, I wasn't completely honest with you. I should have said that the kiss broke me. I should have said that all I needed was time to put myself back together. But I lied. I didn't have feelings for someone else. Back then, I wouldn't dream of looking at anyone the way I looked at you."

Eddie scooted closer.

" Billy was there for me. And he was there after the concert…for weeks he was by my side. Comforting me and holding me while I cried for you. He was there as I mourned for our relationship. He never tried anything or got physical…he was just there. And I wish he wasn't. God Eddie, I wish it was Elio or my brother. But it wasn't. It was him. He helped me find myself again. And I love him for that… I'm thankful for it. Now…now I'm good. I'm better. I'm happy."

" What does that mean for us?"

" It means I want to be your friend. I want to take things slow. We rushed everything before. We wanted each other so bad that we didn't think about what being apart would do to us. And it broke us. It pulled us away from each other and did a lot of damage…I know how I want this to end. And I think it's the same for you."

" It is."

You gave him a half hearted smile. " I think we just need to give it time. Build up the relationship again. Learn how to be around each other again. Like before we got together…I know we can't do movie nights like before. Or spend time with one another like we used to. But I want this to work this time. I want this to be it for us. I want it to finally be right. Because Eddie, I want to fix what went wrong. I would rather work on us than to do this all over again with someone else. I want…you….just you."

Eddie closed his eyes and finally let his tears fall. That's all he had been wanting to hear since the day in the hotel. He wished so hard, prayed every night for it. Now it was going to happen. The time had finally come that he could try this again.

He felt your hand on his cheek wiping away his tears. He brought your hand that he was holding to his lips. When he looked at you again he gave you a small smile.

" Angel, we'll do whatever you want. Whatever you need from me, I'll do it. If you want me to hold you. I will. If you just want to sit and talk, we will. Whatever you say, I'll listen. Whenever you need me, I'm here. For us…for you."

You stood up and pulled him to his feet. " Let's go to bed."

Eddie held you all night. There was nothing else to say right now. Both of you need this trip. Needed this night to just be. So many nights spent without each other was torture. But right now. The way his body felt next to yours. And yours next to his was everything. As you fell asleep you held him tighter. Breathing him in.

When Eddie finally heard your soft moans he kissed your forehead.

" We're gonna make it baby. No one and nothing is going to stop us now."

…

The next few days were spent just like the first. Hanging out enjoying the beautiful weather and each other's presence. With little moments that happened often. The ones where Eddie would get close. The ones where a hug lasted just a little longer every time. The moments where even though you guys were just friends, somehow always finding ways to touch each other. Sometimes it would just be a hand on the small of your back. Or shoulders touching while you walked. It was a small amount of touching. But it was perfect. The best ones were when you would be sitting outside, chairs pulled as close as they could be listening to music. The backs of your hands would touch. Fingers would caress one another's. It got to the point where it happened without a second thought. You didn't know you were doing it. But Eddie's heart filled every time it happened. You were happy and content how things were. And that's all he could ever ask for.

Two days before Eddie was going to go back to the states, you guys all went out to a fancy dinner then dancing after. You had bought a new light blue green dress. With brand new matching 3 inch heels. All of you guys got dressed to the nines for this incredibly fancy restaurant. Elio looked amazing in his suit. Especially since he started growing his hair out. However, he had nothing on what Eddie emerged from the bathroom in.

Your eyes started from the bottom up.

He had the black matte dress shoes. Tied tight with a perfect bow. His slacks were slim fit. But they weren't too tight. Well only where it counted. His bulge was slightly showing. When he turned to put on his chain wallet you caught a glimpse of he perfect little ass. These pants hug it just right, making your core tremble. You continued checking him out. His silver belt buckle stood out against his black on black outfit. His button up shirt was tickled in and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. The silver of his rings nearly matching his belt. Your mouth parted seeing a few of the top buttons of his shirt were loose. Showing off a little of his chest hair. It was open just enough to catch a glimpse of one of his tattoos. You tugged at your bottom lip as your eyes went up to his thick long neck, that still had his silver balled necklace and pic. Finally your eyes settled on his face. His hair was in a low bun, that was held up by your stolen scrunchie. With trendles of curls that were too short to reach the tie, framing his beautiful face. He was utterly and completely stunning.

When Eddie finally was ready he caught you staring at him. When his eyes met yours you quickly looked away and blushed like a tomato. He chuckled to himself. So happy that he got the outfit just for you. Just for tonight. Sure Elio was going to be joining you two for dinner but it didn't matter to him. He was happy to finally do something he'd been wanting to do since your first visit in LA. Take you out on a proper date. Though it wasn't one. He chose to believe it was.

You cleared your throat. " Ready guys?"

Elio clapped his knees and stood up. " Let's go. I'm starving."

You looked at Eddie and he gave you such a gorgeous smile. Showing you all his laugh lines. You smiled back just as big and then this guy did something that had you weak in the knees. The fucker winked at you. You felt your knees buckle and you were trying to grab something to catch yourself but Eddie was right there. Holding you in his arms.

You were so embarrassed that you couldn't look him in the eye. You stared at his necklace and put a hand on his chest. The heat of his skin felt good. Too good.

" You okay Angel."

" Umm y-yeah. Just ummm a little dizzy. Need some food."

He smirked and put a hand on the back of your head while leaning in so that he could whisper in your ear. "Liar."

You playful pushed him away. " Eddieeee. Stop it."

He laughed, holding you firmly to his chest. " You look beautiful Angel."

You finally hugged him back. " No you."

Eddie leaned so that your faces were only inches away.

There was another moment. Eddie bore into your eyes so deep that you felt like his soul was looking at yours.

Elio cleared his throat. " Guys seriously. Come on. If my parents catch you. I'm so dead. And so are you."

Eddie chuckled and let you go.

…

" Cobblestone and high heels do not mix."

Elio shook his head. " I told you Hun."

" Well now I'll listen to you from now on."

You guys were walking back to the house after a super great night. Dancing the night away with Eddie and Elio was a perfect way to spend Eddie's last few nights. But now the pathway was kicking your ass. You tried to watch where you were going. But by now you've twisted your ankle about 3 times. Eddie had a firm hold on your waist just in case you wouldn't fall.

" Walking like bambi Angel." Eddie teased.

You twisted your ankle again and yelped.

" That's it I'm going barefoot!"

You stopped walking and leaned on Eddie so you could take your shoes off. But Eddie had a different idea.

"Hop on my back. I'll give you a piggyback ride."

You looked up at him." Seriously? No. I'm wearing a dress. Plus, I'll squash you."

Eddie grabbed your hip and dug his fingers in. Not too hard but hard enough to get you to see what he was about to say seriously.

" Y/n I swear to God. If you keep saying shit like that…." He leaned in and whispered in your ear. Grabbing your neck loosely with his free hand. " I'll take off my belt and spank you."

Oh shit!

Instead of giving him any indication that what he said really turned you the fuck on. You decide to play his game.

" I would say you can spank and choke me whenever you want. But.." you leaned in closer to his face, feeling his grip on your neck tighten. " Friends don't do that."

Eddie hung his head and dropped his hand. You had made him so God damn hard he could have fucked you right then and there. But he liked this little game. So he decided to keep it up.

" You're being naughty Angel…I like it…keep talking like that…." He looked at you pulling your hips to his. Pushing his erection against your tummy. " And I'll fuck you so hard, that all of Italy will know my name."

You pushed back harder. Moving his bangs so that you can see his face better. " Then I better be good then….or…" you move your face so close that your lips were almost touching. " Maybe I'll just be a little brat."

You moved to kiss his cheek and pulled away.

Eddie sighed. You were so fucking hot when you acted like this.

You started to walk away but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his arms again. This time lifting you up. Carrying you bridal style.

" Eddieee!"

" Shhh Angel…you're not heavy."

You blushed and looked away. Letting him carry you until you were finally at the front door. Elio smirked at you two.

" If you guys have sex tonight. You better be quiet."

" E!!"

Elio laughed. " I'm just saying."

Eddie gave you a smirk. " I can't promise anything."

" Edward Eugene Munson!"

Eddie winced as he put you down. " Ahhh. Okay. Okay. I'm sorry."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. Elio opened the door for you and you walked in.

" Friends don't have sex E." You said, glancing back at Eddie.

Eddie frowned while Elio nudged you.

" Sometimes they do."

You rolled your eyes again and stomped off to your room.

You sat on the bed trying to get a hold of yourself.

Why did I do that? We're supposed to be going slow.

You have been so good these past few days. But fucking Eddie Munson made it so hard to not want him.

Maybe just this one time you could.

No!

You sighed, taking off your shoes. You grabbed your pajama shirt and went to take a bath. As you laid there you started caressing your thighs and softly massaged your breasts. Imagining Eddie's big rough hands touching you. You dipped your hand down and started rubbing gentle circles around your hardened nub. Your head fell back slowly and you moaned softly as you pinched your nipple.

" Eddie." You sighed.

You added more pressure and fluttered your finger towards your entrance. Spreading your slick back up towards your clit. This time rubbing a little faster and with more pressure.

Breathy sighs fell out when your mouth parted.

" Mmm Ed's…I want you so bad." You whispered.

Sliding your fingers inside felt okay. But only one set of hands would make it feel incredible.

You repeat his name over and over again to yourself. With your hips bucking as you dug deeper into yourself.

The small knot in your tummy got tighter the closer you got to your release. You sucked on your bottom lip pulling at your nipple, picture Eddie tugging it with his teeth. Then what sent you over the edge was hearing him say. 'That's it. That's my good girl…just like that…cum for me.'

After your orgasm you felt a little better. Feeling like you could finally think clearly. By the time you actually got out your fingers and toes were all pruny. You wrapped your hair up and pulled on your shirt and panties. When you walked to your room you turned on the radio and went outside. With your eyes closed you raised your arms and stretch your slightly sore muscles stepping over the threshold. Suddenly you felt a warm rough hand trailing up the back of your thigh over your ass. You looked over and Eddie was sitting there with his hair down and just in pajama bottoms. His eyes were focused on your bottom and he gave it a little tap then grabbed it.

" Fuckin' love your ass."

You dropped your arms and started running your nails up his bicep, then down just past his elbow. Going back up again.

Eddie stood up and faced you. Still with a firm grip on your bottom, he leaned closer.

" You know what else of yours I love?"

You gulped. Guessing the whole 'taking it slow' is off the table. Not that you could complain right now.

" Hmmm?"

He let go of ass and moved around you. Dragging his hand across your soft tummy until he was behind you.

When you came out and stretched, Eddie knew you had been a bad girl. You only stretched like that when your body got stiff when you came. He also sensed the calmness that you got after. And he was jealous. He wanted to be the one who made you cum.

So he decided that even though your beautiful hands made you cum once. He was going to make you cum on his tongue. Then on his cock.

When he was finally settled behind you he bent his knees a little and ran his hands up from the back of your knees to the front of your thighs.

" I love these thighs…so soft and thick."

You dragged your teeth on your bottom lip and closed your eyes.

Eddie grinned when he felt your raised skin.

" I also love this belly."

His hands went under your shirt. Digging his fingers into your puggy flesh.

His hands went back down and he pulled at your hips so that he could press himself on you.

" I love your back."

His hand went from your hips up your back. Then up to the back of your neck. You felt his soft lips press a gentle kiss there.

" And your neck. Mmmm. Love that."

Your core trembled as he went higher and pulled the towel off your head. Damp locks falling down.

Eddie dropped the towel and grabbed a fist full of your hair. Not pulling it. Just holding it close to your head.

" I love your hair and how it always smells so good."

You heard him breathe you in. Then suddenly he let go and grabbed your breast. Massaging them ever so gently.

" And these…fuck…I looove these."

You whimpered a little when he pinched your hardened buds.

Eddie moved his face so that his lips barely touched your earlobe.

" But my absolute favorite part of you…"

You gasped as he snaked one of his hands down between your legs. Pressing hard on your clothed bundle of nerves.

" This…god I love this…it's so perfect. I love the way it hugs my cock. I love how wet and a fuckin' warm it is."

Your body shivered at his touch. Core throbbing. Aching to be stretched and filled to the brim with his seed.

But Eddie was having too much fun with your body that you thought you would say what you loved about him.

You pulled away out of his grasp and turned around. Your fingers laced in his curls as his hands held onto your waist. You gently scratch his scalp making him dig his fingers into your flesh.

" I love your curls. It was like they were made to wrap around my fingers."

You freed one hand, cupping his jaw. Running your thumb across his lips.

" I adore these lips. And what comes out of them."

You lifted to your toes and kissed Eddie's favorite spot. Just below his jaw line. Then your fingers traced his tattoos. Cause goosebumps in their wake.

" Your ink is insane. I just love touching them…especially this one."

You moved to the one on his ribs. Your eyes catching Eddie's Adam's apple bob. His breath quickened when both hands were now on his narrow hips.

" Just love these….they fight perfectly between my legs."

Eddie groaned when you dragged your nails from the back to the middle. Touching his happy trail.

" Love this little patch."

Eddie softly chuckled while you played with it.

You stared the his chest. And the moment of teasing each other passed for you. Feeling a bit shy now. You moved away from the sexual stuff and went on about something more personal. Your hands when back up. One went for his hair again and the other laid flat over his heart. You looked up into his big brown eyes.

" But what I love the most is between these two." You lifted to your toes as Eddie put a hand on the small of your back and held your elbow. You pulled his head down gently and kissed his forehead.

" I love your mind. And how crazy and sweet it could be."

You planted your feet back on the ground and looked at your hand over his heart.

" And this…I truly love this. I love how big it is and how you put all of it into everything you do."

Eddie licked his lips. Your words made him swoon. No one has ever liked let alone loved all of him like you did. Well at least no one ever said it before. Or even said it out loud that he actually believed it. But here you were. Speaking as if it was the only truth you knew.

" Angel…I…" he sighed and started rubbing your shoulders. " I want to say I love you. And I want to take you into that room... I want to make love to you so bad….but…I want to do what you want to do. I don't want you to feel like that's all I want from you."

You pressed your lips together and started outlining his tattoo on his ribs again. You wanted all that too.

" I think we needed this trip Angel…I think…no I know that being here with you has been the best time of my life. You have been so sweet and just so damn perfect these few days. That I remembered why I fell in love with you in the first place."

" Eds…I want this." You move your hand from his curls over to his heart. " I want this forever. But as much as I want us to be together. We have to take our time."

" I know we do. But Angel, you have my heart. You've always had it. It's yours to do with whatever you want. If you just surrender yours to me again. I promise. I won't hurt you. Never again."

You pulled away and started for the room. That hurt him. He hated when you pulled away from him.

" Eds?"

He turned to look at you.

" You coming?"

He nodded and followed you into the room. He closed the balcony door while you went to light a candle and turned the radio a little louder. After you turned off the light and met him on the bed. You both sat in the middle of it and stared at each other. Eddie don't want to be the one to make the first move. Just in case you didn't want to go there with him yet. So he just sat there waiting.

For a second you thought to just lay with him. Like how you used to. But your need for him out ruled every thought of not doing this. You took off your shirt and looked down, placing your hands on your knees. Eddie reached for your chin and lifted it so you could look at him.

" You're so beautiful baby."

You sucked in a small breath. " Kiss me Eds."

He leaned in and gave your a sweet but quick kiss before he checked to see if you were okay.

" No. Kiss me like you mean it. Show me how much you-"

Eddie cut you off by getting to his knees and pulled you up to yours. He held you tightly by your hip and the back of your head. This kiss was absolutely beautiful. He never kissed you with such need and love. It made you whimper and hold onto him. He laid you down and still kissed you with such a passion. It made your skin rise again. He finally let up so you guys could breathe.

" Can I taste you?" He said into your mouth.

You bit your lip and nodded.

Eddie gave you one last kiss before making his way down your body. With your body quivering when he left a trail of moistened kiss across your chest. When he got down to your panties he placed a tender kiss on your mound. He laced his calloused fingers under the elastic and pulled them off. He brought them up to his nose after and took a big whiff.

" Mmmm. God you smell so good."

You brought your thumb to your mouth and chewed on your nail. Blushing at his words.

Eddie smiled at you and lifted your knees to a bend.

" So...so damn beautiful Angel."

He kissed your knees while spreading your legs apart. His big thick fingers ran through your slick folds.

" Oh look at you. So fuckin' wet." He cooed. " Such a perfect pussy."

"Mmm...It's yours."

He looked at you with a smirk. " Is it?"

" Uh huh...All yours. "

"Sh-shit...Yeah it's mine....all mine."

You moaned as quietly as you could as he laid his tongue flat on your cunt and slowly licked up to your clit.

" Fuuu…So...so sweet."

Your giggles made him look up.

" What?"

" Do I taste like peaches?"

Eddie chuckled before he lapped again. " Mmmm…actually yeah."

You giggled again. You were gonna say something else but covered your mouth to stifle your moans when he put his fingers into your aching warmth. He went painfully slow as he flicked his tongue on your hardened nub. sucking and massaging it. Your hips started to swivel but Eddie used his free hand to stop you.

" Eds?" You whimpered.

" I know baby. I know. But you have to be patient. I want to take my time with you."

You nodded and relaxed.

" That's it Angel. Let me take care of you."

You hummed softly as he sucked, licked, and pumped. Every hair stood up on your body when you felt the build deep in your core. Legs shaking, hands wrapped in his perfect hair. Close. You were close.

Eddie felt it and coaxed you further. He was like a starved man. Even when his jaw and neck started to hurt, he powered through it. He didn't care about the pain. All he wanted was to make sure you were feeling good.

45 minutes and 3 big orgasms later. You finally asked him to stop. When he pulled away he climbed up your body and put his full weight on you. Resting his head on your chest. Your fingertips ran up and down his back. While you stretched out your foot you felt a cold wet spot. You quickly pulled your leg back to a bend.

"Eds? Did you cum on the bed?"

He turned his head kissing your chest.

" Yeah I'm sorry. You just tasted so good and your little moans just got me."

" I wanted to do that."

He looked up at you. Pressing his growing erection against your thigh.

" Still can Angel."

You tugged at your lip." Can I be-"

You yelped as he rolled off of you pulling you on him.

He smirked. " Yeah. You can be on top."

You sat up and looked down at him. Eddie's mouth was slightly open as he massaged your breast. Lifting to your knees, you balanced yourself using his arms. Aligning his hardened length with your pulsating warmth.

Eddie pressed his lips together to stop a loud grunt from escaping when you lowered yourself.

The first thrust was always so incredible. Every inch of you was sensitive. Your head fell back as Eddie's tip worked its way through you.

Heaven was a place on earth and it was between your legs. Eddie was lucky enough to even get a taste of it. But now you were letting him have it. It felt like he didn't deserve the pleasure or the happiness you were blessing him with. Seeing you and feeling you was all he wanted since your birthday. Since the second he got off the plane. Now he was finally where he was supposed to be. Where he was always meant to be. With you.

Settled in his lap you looked at him. You wanted to say those three little words so bad. But being that you guys seemed to be friends with benefits right now. It really didn't seem right to say. Eddie noticed your slight withdrawal and sat up. While wrapping an arm around your waist, his free hand moved your hair behind your shoulder.

" What is it Angel?"

You looked at his lips and started playing with his curls.

" There was umm. A song on the new album. "

Eddie asked which one. Knowing exactly the one you were thinking.

" Always."

Eddie started to stroke your back. " Yeah?"

Your eyes met his. " I really liked it…you sounded genuinely sad…not that I-I like when you're sad or anything. I-." You hung your head and sighed feeling stupid. " I just thought it was really good."

" Y/n I was sad when I wrote it."

You met his eyes again. " Why?"

He gave you a quick soft kiss with both pairs of eyes still open. When he pulled away, he looked back and forth between your eyes.

" Because I wrote it for you."

" You did?"

Eddie was distracted for a split second when you started rolling your hips. His hands fell down to hold on to them.

" Y-yeah. Most of my songs are either about you. Or for you."

" But why were you sad about this one?"

Eddie tried to focus on your question. " I-I wanted you to know that…I'm with you…always. No matter what. Even when you don't want me."

You started rocking a little faster, searching not for your release. But for his. You wanted it more than anything right now. To be the one who made him feel good. The way he always made you feel. Not just during sex. But outside of it.

" Sing it to me?" You asked in a small unsure voice.

Eddie's breath picked up as you set a steady pace with your movements. He swallowed thickly and tried his best.

🎵

I am with you always

From the darkness of night until the morning

I am with you always

From life until death takes me

When hope seems lost down and lowly

I am here with you always.

🎵

You closed your eyes and met his forehead with yours. As he tried to sing the rest of the song, you felt a knot forming low in your belly.

His lyrics were pulling not only at your heartstrings but serenading your orgasm. Asking for it. Begging for it. And you wanted to give in. But you held back. For him.

Your little whimpers and sighs were amazing. And by the way your warmth clenched him made him choke up a bit while he still tried to sing. Then when you started to move slowly again, Eddie nearly exploded. He buried his face in your neck trying, praying so that he could hold it. To last longer than just a few minutes. He grunted and cursed.

Eddie felt your warm breath on his ear.

" Eds please. You have to be quiet. "

" Sh-shit. S-sorry. It's just…fuuuck."

You pushed him down against the mattress and captured his mouth with yours. His hands slithered down to your bottom. With a firm grip he lifted your ass up and let you drop back down. With him bucking his hips to go deeper.

You gasped into his mouth when you felt his head hit a sweet spot. Eddie lifted to kiss you this time. So that you could be quiet. He did that over and over again.

You pulled away from his lips and buried your face into his neck.

" Eds?" You said just above a whisper. " Please. Please cum. I want it"

He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned his cheek on your forehead.

" C-cum with me baby."

You nodded and let go. As you slowly came you sat up once more and put your palms on his chest. Using him to steady yourself as you kept up the little hop and rolling of your hips.

Feeling Eddie twitch inside you made you cum come harder. You closed your eyes and bit your lip rocking until you were just about spent. Eddie's body tensed as your warm velvet walls throbbed around him. Claiming every last drop of his release as your own.

Your body shook uncontrollably as you both finished. When you rolled off you were panting. Eddie draped his arm around your chest and snuggled up against you. Running your nails across his forearm you hummed.

Eddie smiled and kissed your shoulder.

Just before you fell asleep you heard Eddie whisper an I love you.

You wanted to say it back. Maybe you should have. But you weren't ready.

Not yet Ed's. But I do too....always

…

@chloe-6123 @irishhappiness @idkidknemore @hiscrimsonangel @hellv1ra @browneyes528 @b-irock @erinsingalong @salenorona23 @eddie-is-a-god @screaming-blue-bagel

#Spotify #fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x female original character #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie x reader #stranger things #eddie my beloved #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x y/n #eddie series #eddie x plus size reader #eddie smut #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #plus size reader #always seen you series

[ohhthereuare]

cannot believe we’re back to shipping wars in the year of our lord 2021 but with the overwhelmingly stupid cancel culture and moral police on every corner making it almost impossible to simply enjoy stuff these days I had to chime in my 5 kruge cents or else I’d choke

nobody gives a flying fuck about who you ship and neither should you because this is very rarely up to you. it’s like a god-chosen enlightenment, a sudden rush of serotonin that mysteriously dictates what’s gonna rock your boat from now on. that is great. grab that wheel and get on with it.

you don’t have to justify any of that. and I wish it was clear enough but apparently it still isn’t that villains are called villains for a reason and murder is murder no matter the motive. we know. trust me we do. but I guess that’s half the charm of a work of fiction that a character can be interesting despite its flaws. hell most of the time it’s interesting thanks to its flaws. when you say you like them it doesn’t mean you run to justify their sins and therefor imply these new moral conclusions to your everyday life and real people in it. it just means that this particular fictional creature makes your brain go happy. be them a ball of sunshine or a ball of darkness. you’ll enjoy their actions in a specific media and then get on with your life as an intelligent, morally responsible member of a society that will definitely not go on a killing spree because a fictional guy in a cool cape that doesn’t even exist did so in a story.

now getting that lengthy introduction out of the way I cannot believe that people cannot engage in an intellectually stimulating critical thinking discourse (that back in the day we just called meta) without criticizing every thing or else apparently they’ll go to literal hell. the Darkling is overall a bad guy and Mal is overall a good guy. that’s what the story it built upon. then again both of them are grey to some extent as people are because they are people. they have thoughts and desires and justify themselves because they believe in a greater good that sometimes they personally created. there’s no reason to compare the Darkling who’s straight-up a millenium-old murderer who just happens to be very charismatic and sexy to Mal who’s more human and the mistakes he makes are less of the murderous nature and as it unfortunately happens he’s just more plain. I’d be happy with Alina ending with either of them, knowing full well that there would be good and bad sides to either of the endings. even if the positive outcome of Alina ending up with the bad guy was only a sense of aesthetic fulfillment. that is all. I can say I see and understand the manipulation and the toxicity and still enjoy a power couple dressed in black cloaks the same way I’d enjoy childhood sweethearts leading a safe and quite life. whatever rocks my boat.

if we look at Leigh Bardugo’s work in a simple, quite superficial way then yes it is the question of black and white, good and bad. but it’s more than that and it’s one of the many reasons why it’s one of my favorite books series ever (let’s not go all JKR on her because as I’ve seen some of you do because apart from obvious situations no creator of anything should to held to impossibly pure moral standards making their work morally flawless because it’s based on their own personal experience and it’s impossible to stop some of it from seeping into the work itself even if you personally might find it problematic but they’re human just like you and me and I cannot believe I even have to type this rn). now I’m not wasting my time writing this essay and you reading it to stir up a ship war and I am NOT here as a darklina shipper because in the end I was quite happy with malina getting their happily ever after. but I cannot STAND this sudden wave of frantic justification and of hate towards it because it’s all missing the point.

the Darkling is a villain. the Darkling is a human being (to some extent). the Darkling is the bad character but he’s more grey than black and it’s Alina’s own opinion. THAT’s what’s so interesting about their relationship. he hurt her and the people she loved and hurt people she didn’t even know only to pin the blame on her to guilt trip her to do his bidding. we know it’s toxic and manipulative. Alina knows that too. she hates him and fears him and at times would kill him without hesitation. but she also comes back to him and can’t help but marvel and his beauty and genuinely sheds a tear when he falls. it’s hard to say whether she loves him to some extent, I think even she wasn’t sure and felt quite guilty about it. there’s was a strange pull she couldn’t deny, a wicked sense of understanding that could not be matched by anyone else. despite their chemistry she couldn’t overlook the murder part and that’s who she chose. that’s also who she became because if she had accepted his offer and went down that powerful path we would have been given a completely different story with Alina being a different character. it’s that magic of fiction that lets you explore such extremes but it still is just fiction. it’s okay to type lengthy essays about it to pick it apart and examine with interest but there’s very little point to criticize something so obvious or defend the impossible.

now still on the topic of the Darkling that’s what I love about the show. how Ben Barnes looked for the human parts in him (which is also literally his job as an actor to find parts of the character that he could sympathize with idk why are y’all so surprised and scandalized and y’all better leave my man Ben alone). parts that might have been lonely and misunderstood because that’s how the Darkling saw himself. he had to justify his own actions somehow because he believed he was right. a bad villain is bad by nature. a good villain makes you question whether he’s really bad, makes you justify his villainous actions with him. showing the Darkling express real emotions towards Alina, hope for their shared future, tears in his eyes as she turns her back on him just made him that much more interesting and multidimensional as a great character should be. a great character can still be a murderer. a murderer can still be a great character. it has nothing to do with them being a good person. but it doesn’t erase the toxic behaviors just by being sexy the same way that toxic behaviors have a hard time erasing the sexy part and if you find it sexy in fiction that’s great go on reblogging passionate darklina gifsets and if you can’t stand it even on paper that’s fine too enjoy your heartwarming malina handholding posts. fill in your “rip to alina but I’m different” preferable scenario and let it bring you joy.

Leigh Bardugo is a great author. Ben Barnes is a great actor. actually all the actors are great actors and they did a marvelous job of bringing our beloved characters to life and we cannot even imagine the burden of responsibility they must have felt. let’s try to be less negative and more grateful for a really well-done book adaptation and surround ourselves with people that share our likes and dislikes in a respectful and positive manner and hopefully not foolishly trust that people can tell the good from the bad in real life and still enjoy both in a work of fiction.

#shadow and bone #sab #shadow and bone netflix #the darkling #general kirigan #leigh bardugo #darklina #spoilers #sab spoilers

[gryphsdeadbones]

Half-Life and its media are rated M and the following applies:

(cw for: nsfw discussion)

1. Don’t fucking send nsfw shit to minors. What is WRONG with you. If you are an adult you don’t bring that shit up with minors. Don’t fucking go into their inbox and whine about nsfw discourse. WHY are you personally interacting with kids in that way, it’s shady as fuck??? You can discuss that stuff with other adults, don’t involve minors- even if you feel the need to correct them it’s just. Really not a good idea. 

If you really can’t avoid a discussion, keep your distance.

Minors, for your safety, only trust whoever you feel is an okay adult. Even then, don’t hesitate to cut off contact if an adult ever feels very very suspicious and unsafe. You can softblock/hardblock as needed on the internet and it’s understandable and gets the message across. 

2. Don’t fucking send nsfw shit to adults who didn’t ask. Why the fuck are you sending nsfw shit to wayne and co. This is like nsfw etiquette 101, if you DO discuss serious nsfw in a sfw space, you always make sure the others are okay with it and its tagged as such/in the appropriate space. 

The huge problem with the discourse in the first place is that some chucklefuck thought it was funny to send it to creators. 

The crew do crack nsfw jokes but like. They know each other. The twitch chat’s aware of their brand of humor. But some stranger showing up with straight up nsfw jokes/content unprompted? That’s not okay, even if outwardly they seemed fine with it.

It’s pretty much unwanted harassment- like if you were joking around with your close circle of friends at a bar and a total fucking stranger shows up and tells you nsfw jokes. Jokes that they made porn of your oc, unprompted. What the fuck.

3. Don’t fucking harass nsfw artists either, holy fucking shit. If you’re not familiar with nsfw spaces, it is not your place to tell what artists can or cant draw. Any nsfw artist with basic common sense fucking knows to:

- NOT put it in the main tags of a media

- tag warnings when needed

- mark their own account as nsfw

- block and avoid problematic shit

If you think every single nsfw artist is into gross illegal shit you are out of your mind and extremely wrong. Regardless, if you’re not into nsfw content, then it’s not for you. Simple as that- you block/avoid as needed and they will do the same- both sides win!

I’ve witnessed nsfw artists getting death threats- the characters in their art being unrelated adults and consensual. Holy fuck just leave them the goddamn fuck alone. You’d think ‘oh but they’re adults, they can handle it’ hello these guys are real people. Their feelings are more important than dumb internet discourse. If you’re concerned for your safety, the block button is free of charge. Use it.

The real, actual, mutual enemy is the people who make extremely vile abuse fetishization shit- even then, just block and don’t engage AT ALL for your own safety. It’s that easy.

Literally every Half-Life character is an adult and not related to each other (aside from the obvious).

I hate to break it to you, but HLVR:AI has a good chunk of nsfw dialogue and is taking place in an M-rated game. 

It’s legitimately concerning sometimes that there are a lot of minors who like HLVR:AI. All the characters are ADULTS and they say dumb adult shit sometimes.

It’s okay to enjoy it, I’m not saying ‘minors shouldn’t be watching this’. It’s very important to set boundaries. And it’s equally important not to go looking for content you don’t want to see. 

It is your own responsibility to curate and filter your own feed. Ao3, Twitter and Tumblr have their own filtering system: actually use it to your advantage. 

Also a note: people tend to miss dni lists and carrds, so using filters are much more helpful for you and others.

Don’t go crying into anyone’s inboxes and make them do the work for you- unless there’s, for some goddamn reason, explicit nsfw in the main tags. Even then, those are like a small number of people who are easy to block and ignore. Simple as that. Use your brain.

You can reblog this. Except for p*do/inc*st/n*ncon creators, I’d rather you don’t interact.

If you’re going to send anon asks about this, be fucking respectful and mature about it. Anon hate and harassment goes directly into the garbage and permanently blocks ip.

#shrike writes a thing #ask to tag #i dont wanna maintag this so uh. if it ends up in the search just block this post if you dont wanna see it. or filter it idc

[laynemorgan]

Seeing lots and lots of stuff floating around about me on twitter these last few days. I don’t have any desire to paint anyone in a bad light or start the “you’re all bullies” nonsense discourse that lots of people on the internet like to do. You guys are my people. Fandom is where I came from and I fucking HATE when writers and creators paint fandom in a super awful light. What I am going to do though is ask that you please just do your own thinking and research about a person before you take random things out of context and at face value just because you’re told. I’m a very open person, and very happy to talk about stuff. It’s so important for us all to be educated, to educate one another, to learn and grow and all of that. So I always want to have an environment in my life and on my blog where that’s what’s happening. 

If you want to take my posts out of context, or you want to put words in my mouth about ships or the show I work on or whatever, I certainly can’t stop you. But I’m not sure what that gets any of us. The last thing I want to do is upset any of you guys or make you think that your passion and love for the ships and characters and stuff on our show is bad. If you want to believe I think that, again I can’t stop you. But it definitely does make me sad because I don’t want you guys to think that there’s yet another person not on your team, not listening, who doesn’t understand fandom, who thinks you’re all just angry bullies who need to touch grass, and all that stuff people love to say. Advocating for fandom is so important to me. Advocating for you guys and your voices and the future you see and want in media is so important to me. It’s the future that I see and want in media. I’m only a baby writer now but one day when I can make real difference higher up the ladder or make my own shows I do want to. 

So again, I can’t ask you to try and view things here in better faith if you don’t want to. And I won’t defend myself against the same arguments over and over again because people aren’t reading. I frankly don’t have the time or the mental energy. If you really want me to be your enemy so you have someone to yell at, I mean go for it I guess. If you need an outlet for your anger, I want you to feel heard. But I have to imagine there’s a better way for us to be engaging and I hope those of you that do want that can also find it here. It’s why I never block people anymore and why I never shut off anon. My inbox is always open. I’ll always answer the things I can. It’s so important to me to always give you guys the credit and grace you deserve, to always make a safe place for you to exist in fandom and in the industry. You are not obligated to give that back to me or to anyone else, but I want you to know that that’s my intention. 

[thejudgingtrash]

Why are you always that angry in your opinions and posts??? Like is it ever that serious mannn. Like why criticize everythingggg

Well. I’ve taken my time answering this. In all honesty, mostly because I’m lazy with asks where I know the answers are going to be extremely long and because I have a suspicion in who you are because of similar asks in the past. But regardless of this. Let’s continue, shall we?

My question is the following: what do you see in my blog?

What do I mostly do?

I have to admit, I’m not a full-time pjo blog because I’d go insane seeing the same fandom things over again and I have more interests than just that and am too lazy to keep several blogs up to separate my interests from one another (the reason why my queue is pumping out all kinds of stuff, sorry guys!). Also my URL is like four to six years old and despite me hoarding a ton of PJO stuff, I actually like mine, because it reflects perfectly what you’re about to see on my blog (the judging trash).

Back to the posts in regard of Percy Jackson. Of course, when there’s discussion in the fandom, more critical posts get pushed out because of the collective reminder. The collective moaning. But in fairly calm times.

What do you see?

What I see whenever I scroll through my blog is

Reblogs/creations of aesthetics, moodboards, edits, etc.

Reblogs/creations of fanart and fanfiction 

Reblogs/creations of theory and non-critical discourse

Reblogging stuff from friends and mutuals in the fandom

Me making nonsensical posts, jokes and fun about characters

And yes: me being annoyed at the bootlicking/lack of critical thinking/reading skills in the fandom (e.g. PJO Hot Takes)

This is what I see when I scroll through my blog. Either I’m heavily mistaken or you need to point out what exactly I’m apparently criticizing everything. There are so many other things on it??? This is what you focus on? Okay girlie. I see you.

Also.

DO NOT mistake my passion for PJO with ANGER.

DO NOT do that! That in itself is nothing more but fucking ignorant and makes me angry and upset. I’m a part of the PJO fandom and have been for nearly a decade because I (SURPRISE) actually enjoy the series. Don’t toss this away because you think I’m angry. Horrible, just horrible, anon. Thank you for that.

Am I more direct and vulgar in some cases? Yes. Is that off-putting to some people? Definitely. Do I force you to be here and consume everything? No, I don’t. People don’t seem to get that they don’t have to put up with EVERYTHING that gets posted. If you like a blog/creator/etc. and they have a post that you dislike… scroll past it. It’s really that easy.

No one is forcing you to engage with everything. Not every action needs a reaction.

Me criticizing something isn’t an attack nor is it an offense. Especially not to you, because you are never meant unless I address you directly. (The only person that has the right to truthfully come for my neck is author Rick Riordan (Rick Riordan the public figure, Rick Riordan the IG baddie, Rick Riordan the Twitter Lord)). Criticizing something is me showing interest, me being disappointed at something in its current state and me offering my opinion, my reasoning towards improving something. Me pointing out to things that could be worked on. Me contributing to the ever going ways of discourse, discussions, talks, shits and giggles, creative works, etc.

Discussions, discourse and talks are things that are vital to fandoms and keep it alive. Fanart and fanfics are equally important but don’t make everything. Also:

Criticism =/= Hate.

CRITICISM DOES NOT EQUAL HATE.

I absolutely don’t understand this mindset and where it’s coming from. This is something a lot of people regardless of age, gender, heritage, etc. don’t seem to get. If I would hate PJO, the thing I’ve enjoyed for nearly a decade, I wouldn’t be in this fandom. I would not participate in it, I would not be an active part of the PJO Tumblr community nor would I be in several PJO discord group chats.

Silence and only sunshine and rainbow is complicit in keeping the old narrative and status quo, the many old and toxic ways up and alive. You don’t have to take part in discourse/discussions. But don’t tell me that I don’t have the right to do so. And that I don’t have the right to express myself in the way that I want to.

If you see something where I’m really offensive, off-putting or am simply in the wrong, etc. contact me! Tell me! I’m open to that. Let’s have that discussion.

But if not...

Let me express myself however I want.

#mel answers #pjo #rick riordan #rr crit #Percy Jackson #heroes of olympus #hoo #criticism #pjo fandom #fandom #toa #trials of apollo

[raayllum]

also i’ve been wanting to make this post for a while, but have been waiting to have some more time and be in a place where i felt like i could emotionally handle it, but anyway

it’s been almost a month since the allegations came out, and while i made the choice to not follow it (at least not until there’s some kind of Resolution, and it’s not like i was following any behind the scenes stuff / was on twitter before, either) nor blog about it, mostly for my own sake, i wanted to talk about it now. 

i’ve been in fandoms for a long time now, and have somehow?? been a bigger blog in a couple of them. this fandom i suppose is one of them, even if it never feels that way to me. engaging in discourse over anything can be exhausting, especially when so much of it should be automatic

yes, i believe the women. there’s no reason for them to lie and while human subjectivity can influence things, harm was caused and unintentional harm is still harm caused that deserves to be acknowledged and rectified. 

yes, aaron should have apologized. my reservations about the situation was always due to a lack of resolution (aka largely where we are now) and i don’t think this part is necessarily going to get better. aaron should of course still apologize (as again, no matter how unintentional harm may be, it’s still harmful) but i know now it would ring beyond hollow, so it’s not a priority

concrete change at wonderstorm, to ensure things like this don’t happen again in a way that’s more verifiable and indicative of behaviour, is, and i’m glad that things seem to be heading in that direction as it’s been said they’re looking to add hr capacity, although i’m waiting for that to be verified.

but none of that is admittedly, ultimately, my priority, because i don’t actually have control over any of that, and i never did. what i can control, and why i chose to keep my blog largely out of it, is because my main priority is you guys. 

having a good, supportive fandom community has always been one of the most important things to me in all my times in fandom. i like to think i’ve helped make this one a good one, too. the rayllum / tdp fandom has been one of the best from the very start, as i’ve been here since before the show even dropped (it’s animated and had elves and dragons and assassins, i know what i’m like). it’s been heartwrenching to see how torn up people became, even if many like myself didn’t post the details of it while we wrestled with everything.

i’m not gonna lie, my mental health took a hard hit from this in early november. never had my morals been so twisted inside, and it took me six days minimum to break out of a cycle of “wow i love this show so much fuck anything that tries to take it away from me like a shitty creator” which i would then burn through and feel like complete crap for most of my night. i didn’t share it at the time bc i wanted to work through it on my own, first, and my emotional process wasn’t anybody else’s business, but i’m sharing it now

because it’s okay if it still gets to you sometimes. it still gets to me. and maybe it’s foolish or a little concerning that something that’s ultimately just a tv show could take such a toll on my mental health, but it’s true. this show was perfect in every way for more than a year, and easily one of the things that have brought me the most happiness since it aired. it’s been hard adjusting to this thing that was perfect is now no longer because of what went on behind the scenes.

and more than that, i know i was upset for valid reasons. questions of accountability and support, and if i could still write meta because wouldn’t that be praising, wouldn’t that be appreciation, of someone who’s terrible but talented, somehow? can death of the author be applicable. why should i let someone take away something i enjoy, too. questions of how to proceed and how to work through everything emotionally and how much should i involve myself, why should i involve myself, whose mental health do i put first (bc my own certainly didn’t feel the most important), what do i deserve, etc. etc.

like i said. i was pretty fucked up for at least six days, and it took another week at least for things to clear up. i bounced from being excited about the new season for a while, and then less than a week before s3 i suddenly became extremely apathetic. there was still excitement, of course, and maybe a bit of shock that it was so soon?? i still don’t know exactly what it was about, but that’s okay, even disregarding that it’s gone now, because it’s okay to not always know what you’re feeling, and it’s important to let yourself feel those things anyway

sometimes my morals came rearing up and my head starts trying to speculate and connect all the dots and figure out what went wrong and how terribly with information i didn’t / don’t have and a situation i have no effect over, and i had to learn to let it go. i still have to, sometimes. sometimes it’s hard to feel happy about the show and not feel guilty that i’m taking enjoyment out of something that caused others pain. sometimes i’m frustrated that i’m feeling guilty and therefore causing myself pain. 

and then i remind myself that if i wouldn’t judge someone for whatever decision they make regarding their enjoyment/consumption (or therefore lack of) of the show, whether friend or stranger, than i shouldn’t judge myself poorly for it either

i’m a flawed person like any other and there are many times i’ve messed up or haven’t phrased things as well as i should have. i’m sure some of those times are even in this post!

but basically, this is just a very long winded way of saying it’s okay to still be bothered, and i hope this post can help you work through it. if you want to reach out to me for anything, whether related to this or just for TDP fun times and cute headcanons, that’s okay too

i’m here to help you feel better, because it helps me feel better too. i’m still so very glad that this is our community and that it’s as open and loving as it is.

thank you for always listening

#dragons rambles #i didn't expect this to be so long but #i've been thinking about this post for a while now #and i wasn't even sure if i wanted to post it #bc again - keeping this blog free yknow #questions of how much responsibility or duty i have to say anything #and what to say if that's the case #how much can you judge what you don't know #can you ever know Enough #but i wanted to get this out at one point and #again another good step in letting it go maybe? #tdpforworkers #bc i think i'm gonna make that my tag for anything like this in the future #altho i am very much hoping this is the last of it in more ways than one #but yeah #that's kinda all i got #thanks guys #this is arguably the most personal i've ever gotten online and whoo boi

[quarktrinity]

Thank you for your Rich post. I think you added a lot to the fandom. Unfortunately, I think a lot of the Fandom Discourse comes from the source itself. As much as I love BMC, I felt it bit off more than it could chew. Jake's own traumas would take an entire musical itself to truly address; same thing for Rich, Brooke, Christine, etc. Musicals only last for 2 hours or less. [1/4 tictac anon]

“They can only truly address so many things, and it certainly cannot resolve everything it brings up, esp if it's heavy things in a musical such as BMC. Imo, we really shouldn't pretend otherwise. But your Rich post brought up some interesting points. You're right; ultimately, Rich DID decide to light himself on fire inside his friend's house with TONS of classmates inside. And he DID choose to bully Jeremy and likely others. [2/4 tictac anon] However, we see that Jeremy could not see Michael or his messages and was constantly bombarded with distractions. Plus, at the end of the musical, Jeremy's movements were starting to get controlled by the SQUIP! Therefore, it doesn't seem quite black & white. Freewill being compromised due to technology is an uncomfortable subject, but I believe it's something the musical DOES address. [3/4 tictac anon] 

After all, the creators did confirm that the theory of the ending being planned by the SQUIP all along was an intentionally valid theory. Not canon but a possibility. "A shared negative opinion is the fastest social bond. You want someone to like you... hate who they hate." -- when the SQUIP looked like a common bad guy and gave Jeremy more friends in the end. What are your thoughts on that? [4/4 tictac anon]”

----------

this is all very thought out! im impressed, tictac anon!

i understand the feeling that bmc bit off more than it could chew for character complexity, as it would introduce concepts and not have time to follow through on them. however, i think that this is actually a good thing in a way (while it is fair to criticize), because bmc isnt really about those kids, its about jeremy and his navigation through this social world. 

when his peers are introduced, they appear very one dimensional, simple, cartoony almost, but in sync up, jeremys view of them gets turned upside down as the squip reveals to him that theres more to them than meets the eye. throughout the rest of the musical we see, through his perspective, that all of these kids have a lot of baggage, and its never quite dealt with within the story, but thats not why the story revealed the baggage. their baggage isnt dealt with because its not their story, its jeremys. instead, were shown the complexity of these characters solely for the sake of jeremys understanding of them, not for any character arc they might have. this is actually used when jeremy takes advantage of jennas insecurities in “the pitiful children” to get her to take a squip. he tries the same with christine, but fails. the supporting characters are given depth not to develop them, but to show jeremy and the audience that no one is quite as simple as theyd like you to believe.

on the subject of free will, i think it is an interesting topic the musical discusses (i even consider it psychological horror in a way), but i genuinely dont think that rich was always forced against his will to bully kids. he mightve been a few times, but its definitely not a constant. the reason i think this is that from jeremys experiences, the squip mainly gives him advice, and uses brute force to prove a point to him (see: when the squip forces jeremy to say “my dad drinks too” to show that lying is often the best way to make a friend). brute force is used to establish a cause and effect for jeremy, so he can initiate the process on his own in the future. people might wonder why jeremy snapped at michael at the party, but its really quite obvious: jeremys been conditioned by the squip to engage with that behavior. even when its shut off, the lessons the squip taught him remain. i believe the same process occurred with richs bullying. his squip, at first, mightve forced rich to bully someone, only to show rich that it would result in people liking him, so hed do it on his own later. the squips seem to only resort to brute force when being threatened by their hosts, so i doubt hes just a puppet in strings all the time.

and, as a person whos written 4 musicals (humble-brag intended), i can say with confidence that people can come up with interpretations or theories about your work that you definitely didnt intend, but wont reject because, as any playwright knows, all of what you know about the story is whats in the script. there are no secrets here, no hidden lore, everything in the script is what the story is. so when joe tracz was approached with the “the squip intended the ending the whole time” theory, he probably thought “oh shit! thatd be so cool! cant confirm nor deny that, regardless of my intentions, because technically it would work within the script!” in fact, with any particular production, the director might actually know more about the story of their specific production more than the writers, and the actors will definitely know more about their characters than the writers do. thats something i find really beautiful about theatre as a story-telling medium.

so that theory probably wasnt intended, but that doesnt mean its not true! the events behind the script are always up to anyones interpretation, whether thats the writers themselves, the directors, the actors, or even the audience!

thanks for sending me these asks, they were really fun to answer!

[stormguard798]

Jonnor: the storyline, the ending and my personal thoughts- a barely coherent rant.

To be frank, I heard about Lena and Stef Adams-Foster and Jonnor far before I even started watching the show. They had been touted as someone of the most influential lesbian and gay characters on television period, and eventually, I needed to see why for myself.

I could spend a whole other post espousing on what the creators did right with Stef and Lena, but that’s not what I’m here for. For most of Season 1, we’re introduced to Jude and Connor as friends, and honestly, we don’t get much of an inkling that they might end up being anything more than that until the very last episode. (Whilst I deem the Ouija board the cutest moment between the two of them - and yes, I believe that Connor did intentionally move that marker thing so that Jude would have closure with regards to his adoption - it felt like more of a friendship thing than anything else.)

And in Season 2, the awkward tension between the two on the ‘are we more than friends’ side of things, and while the whole parent forbidding it and literal instant teenage rebellion is pretty cut and dry, I feel the tension ended up being quite palpable and engaging, despite there not being very much of it. And I must say, I truly loved the last 2 episodes in handling both Jude and Connor’s coming out and getting together. (And let’s be perfectly blunt here, up until this point at least, Jude’s game is WAY stronger than everyone else’s.

But as we hit Season 3, I feel just a little bit disappointed - it’s as if the entirety of the honeymoon phase of the relationship happened completely off-camera. Whilst Jude’s entire turmoil with labels raises an important issue concerning the whole LGBTQIA+ community in general, I don’t feel like there was much showcasing of the relationship as a whole. (Side note here: please don’t ever out someone on their behalf. In my mind, that’s like Cardinal Sin No. 1) In a season filled with all the Callie/Brendan drama, the Mat and Mariana nonsense, and honestly whatever the hell Jesus is doing, is it too much to showcase a functioning relationship for once? It feels like the creators spent so long setting up for this relationship, only to show so little of it.

And now the breakup. Oh boy. I’ve never been in a relationship myself, but you’d think that after they’ve reached the ‘I love you’ stage in the relationship (which, given what they’ve already been through together, with Connor shoving Jude away and getting shot, is not that far-fetched to think about), they’d at least try a little…harder? I guess maybe with the sext Jude realises that he doesn’t actually view Connor in that way, or that he doesn’t want to think about things like that at this point, I’m not entirely sure. Either way, I don’t think that the 2 would be stubborn enough to not at least talk about how to make each other feel comfortable.

Or maybe they are: after all they did spend more than a year playing the blame game, avoiding each other instead of talking about they feel. Entirely to stereotype here: is this just a guy thing? Who the heck knows. Anyway, Jude feels sad that Connor doesn’t come down to San Diego to visit (weird that, it’s like he’s trying to avoid his sort-of homophobic, not accepting dad that he moved to get away from in the first place. Oh wait.) nor does he understand why Connor is immersing himself in all these activities in school (it sounds like he’s trying to ‘lay down some roots’ as Principal Sanchez said back in S1 and fit in within a completely new school as an out gay kid. Oh wait.). And Connor, the sweet, sweet child that he is, does nothing to defend himself or try and work things out. Just like that, a relationship that has been developing that had been developing for multiple season is broken up with the fanfare and drama of a dying mosquito.

Disclaimer here: I’ve stopped watching after the S3 finale at least for now based on just how upset I am with how the entire Jonnor relationship was handled as a whole. Maybe I should give a little more leeway to both Jude and Connor, for whom this is their first relationship, but considering how close they were, I’d expect them to try to at least fight for their friendship, if not their relationship. (Again, the sad lonely person in me has no idea if being friends with an ex makes any sense, but as Jude rightly pointed out, they were friends first.) What they’ve been through together is a lot to take on for anyone who’s still in middle school, and I find it incredibly strange that they wouldn’t even try to preserve anything of what they had. Maybe they decided that thisbeing the first relationship, they were bound to hit a lot of roadblocks, that it was incredibly unlikely they were going to find ‘the one’ on the very first try, but it’s not as if they don’t care deeply for each other. Cause they clearly do. As a third-culture kid, I find that whilst you do absolutely have to put in work to maintain a relationship, it’s definitely possible and worthwhile to do, but only if both parties are willing to put in the effort. Even in the very last episode, Jude is still questioning his sexuality, wondering that if he  does like guys or if he only liked Connor, showing the depth of if not romantic then platonic feelings they have for each other. And having such a pathetic breakup doesn’t do the relationship as a whole any justice.

And while we’re at it, can we just address the shallowness of Connor’s character as a whole? Besides mainly being touted as Jude’s love interest, (because at least from what I recall, he always shows up in reference to Jude) the only other facet to his character is that he’s really scared of coming out to his homophobic dad. Though it’s not to say the story of being out to parents who aren’t always the most supportive is not an important storyline, it’s also one that gets used a lot. Connor is a student-athlete, who besides an avid interest in sports, shows immense interest in other activities that are typically seen as stereotypically male. (Not that there ever should be stereotypically male things, but eh. You catch my drift. I hope) I  believe that the storyline of an out athlete trying to navigate the mire that is middle and high school sports would be incredibly fresh and engaging (especially considering Connor’s age and the working out of his identity), but I guess that not everyone feels that way? Either way, I feel a little bit robbed.

Now let’s have a brief discussion of what Jude actually represents. Simply put, he isn’t someone who is afraid to be themselves, to put on nail polish simply because he likes it, to start dating a guy simply because he likes him and be curious and thoughtful about working out who he is. Jude’s constant struggle of trying to work out how to organise his identity is something that I must imagine every LGBTQIA+ person has had in their lifetime, and ultimately his desire to not pretend to be someone that he’s not is something that we can all appreciate, such as his kissing of Taylor in the season finale to work out whom he’s attracted to. While I can guarantee that not a single person’s journey of self-discovery will be the same, the example of someone who is given the freedom to explore who they are and not be ashamed nor embarrassed about it is the shining hallmark of what everyone’s journeys should be like. And if it does end up with Jude being written as someone who’s bi or pan or just not straight in general, that’s a storyline that I can absolutely accept and respect.

As so amply demonstrated by Jude’s attempting to find online gay porn, the discussion of any kind of relationship or exploration of any sexuality or gender identity that isn’t a cis-straight one is completely undiscussed. I know at least for myself, that meant I experienced a lot of guilt and shame in trying to parse through who I was and whom I liked because the entire thing felt illicit. Like it was blatantly wrong. That because no one else talked about, I felt completely alone in the endeavour. And I must imagine that’s an experience that is certainly not unique to me. That is why I was so looking forward to a functional, relatable young gay couple, and I think my disappointment by how Jonnor panned out is perhaps seriously influencing how I’m viewing the whole breakup. (Cause seriously, the only other canon couple I could get behind is Coldray, which had negligible screen time - though that’s for another rant.) And judging from the general discourse on the internet, I think I’m not the only one who feels generally upset by how Jonnor ended. Either way, it’s not for me to decide, and I hear that Jude finds a new relationship in Season 4. Though I certainly don’t think that it’ll be nearly as wholesome and simple and just heart-warming as Jonnor was.

Ultimately, being the purveyor of fanfiction that I am, and given how generally dissatisfied I am with how the break-up went, I 100% plan on coming up with some canon-extension fanfic to explore what might happen if Connor and Jude did end up meeting again when they were older, when they’ve gone through a few more relationships to decide what they’re  looking for and what a relationship should be like, and see what might happen then. Honestly, I have absolutely zero clue where it’s going to end up going. But I do think it’ll give me the kind of closure that I’m looking for, and that’s okay. And for those are satisfied with how Jonnor ended, and who are very happy with how Joah (I refuse to call it Nude XD) turn out, and Jude’s character as a whole turn out, I absolutely respect that. Cause ultimately these are all fictional characters, and they should be treated as such.

Happy pride everybody. May you too be able to be yourself.

#jonnor #pride #coming out

[mx-ishikawa]

F/O February Day 1: Reverse Self Ship

welcome to F/O February y’all!! :D for this prompt, I decided to do a little drabble! because I felt it would be easier to explain that way XD” honestly the reverse selfship AU is so good??? so here’s my contribution for today! XD (warning for brief mentions of self-harm and other injuries, other than that this should be a perfectly safe read!)

           “Rex Rex Rex! It’s on!! Quick, we gotta catch it!!!”

           “Okay Emmet, I’m coming, jeez!”

           Rex hoisted himself off his bed with a low grunt as Emmet scurried to the living room couch. He knew how excited his brother got over his favorite show. Four years ago, popular sitcom Where Are My Pants? had been his all-time favorite television series, but then his heart was stolen by a quirky cartoon called Light in the Darkness that he stumbled upon by chance. The show followed an adventurous, tomboyish young woman dubbed Light and her interactions in the secret world of monsters of all kinds, fighting the evil ones and befriending the good ones. There was quite an uproar within the fandom when the titular lead came out as agender a year before, and quite a bit of discourse since she still considered herself female in a vaguer sense. But none of that mattered to Emmet. He loved the character for her personality, and couldn’t care less about her gender or lack thereof.

           Oh, he loved her alright… his Tumblr was filled with screenshots and fanart of Light, he had all the merch of her he could afford, he even had a plush of her, which he was currently holding in his arms. He was immediately attached to her as soon as he got into the series; at first he thought she was just a comfort character, but before long, he realized he was actually flat-out in love with her. He had always gushed about her, and occasionally other characters, to Rex, and constantly pushed him to watch it. Rex always listened to Emmet’s gushing and supported his love for the character, but for the longest time, he didn’t get around to watching it. He was in a terrible mental place at the time; he engaged in risky and destructive habits, he drank, he smoked, he self-harmed, he got in trouble with the law, and developed other unhealthy coping mechanisms for his insecurities and mental issues. He was a troubled soul who was paranoid that their mutual circle of friends hated him and that he’d never be good enough for anyone. He distanced himself from everyone he loved—even his dear brother Emmet, with whom he had always been joined at the hip before. It was only when he got involved in a reckless motorcycle accident after an argument with Emmet that Rex realized just how much danger he was putting himself in, and how much he was worrying his brother. After that, he vowed to better himself and get some help. He also moved in with Emmet as his insistence, saying he wouldn’t worry as much and that he could help Rex get on track. That turned out to work like a charm, and he was happier than he’d been in a long time ever since.

           It was only then that he was finally able to watch an episode of his brother’s favorite show with him. He didn’t know exactly what he was expecting from the cartoon, but it certainly surpassed whatever those expectations were. Rex was surprised that Light in the Darkness contained more adult-oriented humor, as Emmet typically didn’t watch those kinds of shows. And he also understood why Emmet loved Light so much—she was a goofy, funny, charming, kind, and humble hero who knew what it was like to feel like a nobody or that you’d never be good enough. It also happened to be an episode in which Light tried to talk to and reform one of the main villains, and she gave a clumsy but convincing speech about how she could relate to the villains struggles, but wished he would handle them in a way that benefited both parties. Rex didn’t want to admit it, but that damn speech pulled at his heartstrings. And by the end of the episode, Rex found himself smitten with Light as well. At first he tried to hide his feelings from Emmet, thinking he would be angry with him for encroaching on his selfship. But Emmet did find out eventually—and he was ecstatic. He was beyond happy to share her with his brother, as that meant they could gush about her to each other more often, and soon the brothers agreed that Light had enough room in her heart for the both of them. After coming to that conclusion, they created their own self-shipping sideblog that they co-modded together.

           Now Emmet wasn’t exactly the creative type, and sometimes he was jealous of all the great artists and writers within the community, but he did enjoy remaking the three of them in Picrews and other character customization games. He also gushed about Light a lot, using lots of capitals, exclamation points, and heart emojis in said gushes. Rex, on the other hand, was beginning to dabble in photo editing, so he took a screenshot of Light and Photoshopped her into a picture of him and Emmet, among other such edits. He gushed about her too, of course, but his were more straightforward and consistent to whatever specific quality of hers he was talking about, with less weird emojis.

           Neither of them told anybody in their respective workplaces about their love. Emmet tried way too hard to fit in and was already seen as weird despite that; he didn’t want to add onto that as a grown man who was hopelessly in love with a cartoon character. Meanwhile Rex didn’t give a damn about fitting in or what his coworkers thought of him, he just wasn’t the type to open up to people he didn’t know well enough. However, their mutual circle of friends knew very well about their selfships with Light, and they all shipped them. Their best friend Lucy had even created a few artworks of the three of them, which they both proudly displayed on their blog (with proper credit, of course). They had been doing this for almost a year, and at this point they were perfectly content opting out dating real people in favor of shipping themselves with a fictional character.

           “It’s a new episode!!” Emmet squealed, plopping onto the couch and kicking his feet excitedly. “I can’t wait to see what she does today!”

           “You think she’s finally gonna give Lord Beelzebub what’s coming to him?” Rex asked.

           “I hope so! Now that guy is a real jerk.” Emmet puffed his cheeks out. This particular villain was beyond hope of reformation—Light tried, multiple times, but it was clear that he wouldn’t be happy until his evil deeds were done. Emmet pouted very briefly over this fact before perking up to sing and shimmy in his seat to the theme song. Rex chuckled at how excitable his brother could be. He kept his mouth shut after that, as Emmet hated when people tried to talk over his show.

           The episode started out with Light hanging out with some of her monster friends and being her usual dorky self, but that only lasted a couple minutes before she was alerted of some other villain’s plan. The scene then transitioned to a dramatic montage of Light putting on cool-looking armor, then panning from her toes to her head as she heroically posed in the armor.

           “Wow…” Emmet swooned. Rex gave a low whistle.

           She only stood like that for a few brief seconds before random pieces of the armor suddenly fell off and clattered to the ground, much to Light’s dismay. “Aw damnit, no! Get back here!” Light complained as she crouched to pick up the fallen pieces. This elicited a giggle from Emmet and a chuckle from Rex. “Dork…” Rex lovingly muttered.

           By the next scene, she has duct tape all over her armor, making the brothers laugh again. She and her monster friends were devising a plan of attack when Emmet’s phone buzzed. “Shush,” he said, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. He was mesmerized as Light led her friends into battle, but before they could see just who they were up against…

           “Gahh, commercials,” Rex groaned, muting the TV. “This is why watching things online is so much better.”

           “Yeah, but this is a new episode, we gotta catch it as it airs and support the creators!” Emmet argued.

           “Yeah okay. Aren’t you gonna answer that text message?”

           “I suppose I could since it’s a commercial break.” Emmet reached into his jeans pocket. “But whoever it was should no better than to bother me during my show!” He pouted as he checked his phone. “Oh, it’s Lucy…” He opened the message, and a mere second went by before Emmet cracked up laughing.

           “Must’ve been a good one,” Rex chuckled.

           “Oh my gosh, Rex, look at this!” Emmet laughed, shoving the phone in Rex’s face. It turned out Lucy sent a meme that read “when you storm a dragon’s cave and discover it’s hoarding mac and cheese” with a redraw of Light in the “it’s free real estate” meme. People who weren’t fans of the show wouldn’t understand the meme, but it made Rex burst into raucous laughter.

           “Oh my god!” he roared. “She would totally say that!”

           “She would!” Emmet giggled. “That’s amazing.”

           “Our datefriend is high-key a dork,” Rex laughed. That statement sent Emmet into another fit of giggles.

           “She’s our dork though.”

           “Hell yeah.”

           “I just wish I knew her real name in full.”

           Rex sat up, surprised. “What do you mean, ‘in full’?”

           “Well, remember in Clash of the Chimeras when she was signing the form thing for that order? She could only write the letter K before she got interrupted by the gremlin breaking things in the other room. So that means her real name must start with a K, and we don’t know anything else about it.”

           Rex nodded. “And you would rather call her that because…?”

           “Because it would help me feel closer to her.” Emmet held his plush a little tighter.

           “Well, you could always give her a headcanon name. or just call her K until her real name is fully revealed, if that ever happens.”

           Emmet pondered this for a moment. “I suppose that could work.” Suddenly, he perked up. “Oh! It’s back on!” He hurriedly un-muted the TV and his eyes were glued to the screen once more.

           Soon enough, Light and her friends were battling the villain, and at some point, her left gauntlet fell off. Emmet gasped as the villain used this opportunity to slash his claw across her arm.

           “Oh no…” Emmet whimpered. Rex lightly traced his own scar on his shoulder from his motorcycle accident. The two were at the edge of their seats until the end of the fight scene—the villain was defeated, but Light was still bleeding. Her worried friends crowded around her, but she still seemed in high spirits.

           “Guys, I’m fine!” she insisted.

           “You’re bleeding,” a friend argued.

“Just out of my arm. I’ve bled from far worse places.”

Emmet made a choked-out noise in surprise.

“Oh my god,” Rex laughed.

Still, Light let her monster friends bandage her up. Luckily, there were plenty more laughs to be had by the end of the episode. As the credits rolled, Emmet kicked his feet excitedly again.

“Ahh, that was so awesome!”

“As it always is.”

“Poor Light though. She doesn’t deserve any nasty scars.”

“No, she doesn’t,” Rex agreed. “But it won’t get her down. Knowing her, she’ll probably be proudly toting it and bragging about her battle by the next episode.”

“Yeah, probably,” Emmet chuckled. “But if she was real, or if I lived in her world, I’d take care of every single injury she got and kiss it better!” His loving smile gradually morphed into a longing frown. “I’d give anything for that.”

Rex patted Emmet’s back. “Me too, kid. Me too.”

#my writing #self ship #self shipping #self shipping community #au #reverse self ship #selfship au #self ship fic #reverse self ship au #f/o february #fictional other february #f/o: Emmet #f/o: Rex #we're not so different #poly self ship

[avelera]

Hoo, boy, nerd culture pet peeves I didn’t even know I had until the last couple days:

 - Nerds saying that “such and such a show/book/movie etc. etc.” shouldn’t exist because a show/book/movie that they prefer did it better

Fun fact, guys, multiple stories about similar topics can exist. I mean, obviously, since we’re literally swimming in about sixty billion superhero stories right now. You can absolutely have a preference but saying things like “There shouldn’t be a female Ghostbusters because I prefer the originals” or “This show’s discussion of superheroes is bad because another show did it better” is literally one of the dumbest and most intellectually bankrupt form of criticism I can think of. If I could snap my fingers and have nerds just give up the shit where they think a new book/movie/show being created about a thing they like somehow makes the old one disappear, the world of stupid nerd Discourse(tm) would be a better place.

- “How dare you like this character in the adaptation of that book/comic/movie, don’t you know that same character in the original book/comic/movie does terrible things?!!?!”

Holy shit, people. Adaptations are different. Different creators make different choices. Sometimes those choices involve changing the plot arcs of certain characters. People who like a character in the adaption when they still haven’t done the “terrible thing” they did in the original, which they might never do because of creative choices by the adaptors, are not automatically terrible themselves! This is especially true when an adaptation is a work in progress and you don’t have the full arc yet of what all the changes will be!

Case in point, Thorin in The Hobbit books is a completely different character from the movie one, completely! Yet fans of his still had to suffer through fucking years of hot takes with internet randos jumping down their throat saying, “How dare you like this character who is going to go on to be mean to Bilbo later in the story?! You must be a terrible person too!” when the adaptation version of the ramparts scene hadn’t even happened yet. And when it did, the tone was completely different from the books, much like the entire trilogy had been! 

And now, and this is slightly spoilery, but for fuck’s sake, saying “How dare viewers speculate that Black Noir in The Boys might be a good guy, when in the comic he’s a rapist!” Dude, that character literally does nothing except one fight, he doesn’t even talk the entire time in the show, and the show has already made major creative choices that are different from its comic book origin. You literally have no idea how the show is going to handle his character at this point and it might be completely different from the comic. Real human beings aren’t terrible for speculating that a fictional character might be handled differently in the adaptation! 

Honestly, just this entire culture of attacking real fucking people for liking a fictional character or for not engaging with a fictional story to your fucking specifications is one of the most toxic parts of nerd culture today and you can miss me with that shit. Stop assuming other people’s motives for liking things and for the love of god, stop attacking real people over fake shit.

#maggie rants

[twiststreet]

I read the extremely-celebrated first volume of Bitter Root.  

It’s successful by the standards of current comics.  The current standard: just have a really, really great high concept that resonates on both a simplistic genre level and that has some ultra-basic political moralizing that you can’t really “disagree” with, without exposing yourself as being retrograde, and thus easily dismissed; executing on that high concept is *completely optional.* That’s Maneaters, that’s Bitch Planet, that’s Bitter Root, anyways.  

The high concept: during the Harlem Renaissance, a black family of monster-fighters takes on the worst monsters there are -- WHITE DEVILS.  White people who do racism magically transform into devils that the black characters punch or shoot or some shit.   

That’s a successful concept under the current rules of engagement.  And that’s all you need; again, execution is optional.  Whee!  Maneaters had no noticeable craft to it whatsoever-- the execution was embarrassing, plus, boy, the creators sure seemed to mistreated their readers, that ugly business with the tweets.  Bitch Planet, my memory’s not great, it’s been a while, but I just remember there being an unusual amount of football or soccer or something in there...?  An unexpected quanta of foozball.  

Bitter Root, past the premise, it’s just sort of a 90′s Cliffhanger comic (e.g. Dangers Girls or Battle Chasers), though without a Cliffhanger comic’s open horniness.  It’s trying to do a shonen thing-- the characters face a bad guy, but don’t get around to defeating the bad guy but oh no there’s a worse bad guy on the horizon.  The bulk of the 123 pages is just a single chaotic monster fight that just goes on and on and on and on, and all takes place in a single night.  Didn’t feel like they had to move that story forward too fast, I guess!  Just wanted to take their time... I don’t know-- I just get bored when I can tell a comic’s not going to get around to attempting to tell a story anytime soon, but I guess I’m out-of-touch that way.  

(TV tried to pace things like that for a minute, and then a bunch of them figured out like “if we do that, people will stop watching.” Comics as a whole just dug their heels in on slow pacing and simultaneously jacked up the prices, which ... you have to admire the stubbornness at least!).

I mean, there’s nothing wrong with 90′s Cliffhanger or with shonen.  But the reviews for this are so orgiastic-- like the book has one guy who’s like more of a Wolverine/Blade type character (but who really doesn’t do anything that cool past issue #1 or 2!), or as one review put it: “It's a deliberate callback to the debates of civil disobedience versus militarism during the Civil Rights movement... or the more recent debates between discourse and more harsh responses in today's fights against white nationalism. Bitter Root is a fun book, Bitter Root is a smart book, and most importantly Bitter Root is a necessary book for today's world.”  *A necessary book for today’s world!*  It’s a fight comic about monsters...!

Plus, the trade comes with like 7 essays about how the publication of Bitter Root is the most important thing to happen to all black people since Nino Brown got shot down.   It’s not that the comic’s bad exactly (except for one character who they just give thesaurus words to-- comic people love to do that and it always sucks)(Frank Miller did that in a Sin City; I’d hazard to guess 90% of crime comics have had a “guy who owns a dictionary” character at some point-- it’s like the Opposite of Wally Wood’s 22 panels that always work).  But it’s mostly not bad.  It’s just... Seems pretty inessential.  Good drawings-- fun art to look at.  Interesting coloring though sometimes some pretty curious choices with the lighting (like what’s going on in this panel with the girl’s face???).  A couple cool lines of dialogue here and there, though an awful lot of the dialogue involves some character or another saying “I’ve seen this before!  I’ve seen this before and yet do not feel compelled to tell you when or where or what we did about it!”  Plus, some storytelling choices I wondered about-- like, I think one issue ends on a cliffhanger of a character getting sucked into hell, but rather than let that have any dramatic weight, they show you that character’s fine on the NEXT page (fatally undercutting that character’s later “resurrection” having any zazzle to it whatsoever...).  

None of the characters really make an impression beyond their half-sentence "logline.”  It’s an Image comic, so you know: the joke we all make is those are all TV / Movie pitches.  So the girl character being “a girl who wants to fight even though society is like don’t fight you’re a girl” and not being anything even one iota more than that... You can kinda look at that and go, “well they didn’t need more than that for a pitch.”  I picked out this panel of art (above) because of that line about “the big bad” which is like a 90′s Joss Whedon show term.  They’re having their characters in a Harlem period piece use Joss Whedon Writer’s Room lingo!!!!  That sort of nerd shorthand spoke immediately to me about what kind of comic this was, who it was meant for, the limits of its ambitions... 

 And you know, maybe that’s unfair because this feels really influenced by manga and manga has certainly a particular rhythm that while it resembles television, isn’t... doesn’t feel inorganically arrived at(?); it feels true to the creators.  But. I guess what’s in my head is:  with manga, the characters are the content.  With Cliffhanger comics, the art was the content.  When Cliffhanger was coming out, there was also Vertigo at its peak-- there, the story/aesthetics were the content.  Here, with these Image books, I just always end up sitting here feeling like the concept is the content, which is ... there’s no motivation to keep reading when that’s the case!  But I’m not you know... I’m not a very giving or generous reader, either, so. I know that about myself at this point so...

(Tangent: Larry Fishburne was doing a podcast that was set around this same era, but in Chicago that... At least had Larry Fishburne’s voice in it... but no monsters-- I mean, it’s an interesting era if you think about... like that argument Killer Mike makes about black businesses and the black dollar pre-desegregation, an economic environment which Fishburne’s podcast I think touched on more, whereas this comic doesn’t really... doesn’t really dig into Harlem or the period at all, as it’s too busy being exclusively about a 100+ page single fight with some monsters...)

As for the thematic content that gets people so inspired-- ehhh. I don’t know.  I mean, think on Milestone for a second.  To me what made Milestone so remarkable when it was coming out-- the thing that always struck me-- a lot of those books weren’t awesome to look at or read sometimes; I never dug the colors; but... In my memory of them, at least (perhaps rose-colored?), they actually embraced diversity in a really dedicated way.  Milestone I think recognized the diversity that existed within races themselves, so you’d have ... black superheros who were conservative Republicans, while other black superheros were scrappy nerdy kids, while the black characters who were in a street gang had their own worldviews that were diametrically opposed to the other two, or.  I mean, they didn’t just focus on the black experience-- they had Xombi in there which I really loved; Hispanic characters; et cetera. Or they’d do a miniseries but it’d be about Holocaust, the bad guy in the evil black gangs.  

Part of what Milestone tried to explode was the idea that only some model minority got to be a superhero or was uniquely part of the American experience moreso than any other minority.  Whereas this Bitter Root is instead about like ... This one special family where everyone is more awesome than the rest of the community... So, yeah: ehhhh.  By comparison that feels significantly less-than.  

Or for me, this felt like it was speaking to the sort of modern internet-fave notion that only white people can be racist.  That horseshit about “only white people can be racist because of the power differential” or whatever...?  I think that whole argument is just pretty dopey, personally. I don’t get down with that talk anyways, though it has its utility and places where it’s appropriate.  (I mean, the argument at least suggests that its audience consider power structures and institutionalized racism, I suppose, but).  

But I found Bitter Root’s project to be one that was ... celebratory; meant to “give black audiences the fantasy genre experience they’ve been waiting for.” Which I guess is powerful for people-- that reaction to Black Panther suggests that, say.  I've just had a hard time understanding that as an end goal.  For me, being Indian-American, I was more struck by something like Master of None, when that came out, the experience of ... recognizing its world, of being able to finally feel that the world it was set in and talking about was finally closer to the world I lived in.  As opposed to it handing me some power fantasy for lame Indian boys (besides the fantasy of being good at making pasta which... actually that part got to me a lot but)... I don’t remember being young enough to remember if an “Indian-American-specific power fantasy” was a desire I ever had; I remember wanting to be whichever X-Men got to do sex with Kitty Pryde, not an Indian-American X-Men, you know?  But even if I did want a more racially-specific power fantasy back then, I’m glad that desire wasn’t one that was indulged!  I mean, when has giving kids power fantasies ever worked out okay for them?  People who like power fantasies too much seem all fucked up by those things, except for when I watch low-grade Japanese porno, then thumbs up.  Like, we’re supposed to believe if we give little minority children power fantasies they’ll all end up in NASA, but my experience tells me they’ll just end up shouting at minority girls for “trying to steal X-Shaft away from them” or whatever the hell...

Anyways, it’s a good looking comic, though, and it’s not un-entertaining.  It deserves some level of praise.  And if it got more than that, heck, great.  What’s the harm, I guess?  People were all excited today about a $6 X-Men comic.  (Or $6 on Comixology at least).  So I mean, what’s the harm if Bitter Root gets talked up, I guess...?  It’s fine.  I mean, I guess it’s fine.  Fine.  I don’t know.  There was a nice page where two characters talk while a different set of characters talk in caption boxes, while a bird flies around between the two sets of conversations.  I liked that page, I guess.  I don’t think this one’s just my kind of thing though... I was into some of the drawings, but just... It just went on a bit without really just moving shit forward, I think was just the part that rankled more than anything...

Sorry to ramble on and on. Strange few weeks at work-- been needing to blow off steam I guess... 

#Worst Hobby or Worstest Hobby?

[jandjsalmon]

Okay, I started this post whilst on vacation in Las Vegas - sitting next to a beautiful pool in weather that is literally the late July temperatures I get here in Canada. I left this draft sit in my draft box for a couple of days because I wasn’t sure I wanted to wade into the fandom drama that has erupted lately - but after today - I decided that I’ve had enough and now that I’m home and I can properly format the damn thing, I’m going to come on here and say a few things - but it’s gonna be under a Keep Reading cut because it’s long and I tip-toe the line of being irritated and rude and sassy and sarcastic and ain’t nobody got time to scroll through that. See - I’m thinking of all of you. ;)

We already knew Twitter fans in general are rabid and unkind. I don’t care what ship you are - don’t be a douchelord (to anyone - let alone the writers and/or reviewers). If you feel inclined to write decent messages to the powers that be (hitherto TPTB) - fill your boots - but do so politely and respectfully. I’ve already seen a few very nice messages. Cool. If that’s how you choose to engage - awesome. Not everyone enjoys the discourse there and that’s also fine. The key is - don’t be asshats to the writers or to the reviewers or to fellow fans - even if they’re being obnoxious. It’s called the higher road, people. Seriously.

As for the Brian drama from last week - We already know that the writers of our show want maximum attention and they're not above throwing a bone to another contingent of the fandom to do it. They’re also contractually not allowed to absolutely discount any idea - or tear down any ship because it might come back in the future. “Will Betty and the Black Hood finally get it on?” “Tune in to see!” 

Harassing actual official content-makers to change their plan does not and will never work. Like Cole said, making demands like this and expecting to get your way would be like going to an art museum and insisting that the artist change their work to suit you. You don't like sunflowers? Van Gogh should repaint them as tulips then. This idea is ridiculous. If you can't see that then there is nothing I can say to change your mind - but it’s seriously unfortunate. Your life is going to be full of disappointments.

As for the deleted scene drama from today... You can’t honestly think that RAS listened to a ‘petition’ by one set of shippers when he already has a history of releasing deleted content anyway. TPTB had mentioned the particular scene in answers to questions prior to the episode. The duet was on Spotify with the rest of the episode’s music. OF COURSE they were going to release it - petition or not - and thinking that a very vocal but relatively small group of fans made noise and got their way because of it is silly. The fact that those same fans (and worse fans) think that this is now the way of doing things is even more awful.

Additionally, thinking that doing the same thing for a canon ship that already has so much content is the only way to get more content? That’s even more ridiculous. Honestly - has there really been that much of a Bughead drought? Objectively? From where I’m standing - even in the middle of their super-brief breakup there was Bughead content. They were working on the car for the race together. There were longing looks. There were typewriters and Beloved and ‘I’m not sure I even know how to stop loving yous’ - I know it felt like a lot longer and a lot droughtier but if you were binging (and not dealing with hiatuses) it wasn’t. 

And yes - there have been deleted kisses that have never been released - but there have been a lot of NOT deleted kisses too. And because one ship gets something doesn’t mean that we should also get something (because we’re super nice about asking for it). It would be like living a comfortable suburban life where we can easily afford to buy our own school lunches full of chips and cookies and pudding cups and Bughead kisses... but when we see the kids from the other side of the tracks getting a subsidized lunch with mystery meat and cold tater-tots - we demand that too and figure that if we’re polite and asking really really nicely then we deserve the same because it’s just showing the cafeteria lady that we really really care about lunch because maybe JUST MAYBE if we don’t show enough interest, she’ll take lunch away from us. *facepalm*

Speaking as someone who previously participated heavily in a fandom where my ship was not (and was never going to be) canon, the crux of my rant today is this: 

The fact that we currently ship a canon ship is a freaking privilege.

If (heaven forbid) that ever changes - FANDOM DOESN'T CHANGE! 

Our actual canon is often written poorly with cheesy dialogue and Telenova style storylines (long lost twin brother? Come on - what's next? Amnesia!?) 

If canon did reduce itself further... it would not change the fact that the Bughead fics we've loved and read are still amazing. Case in point: I rarely rarely read the actual Harry Potter books... but I often reread some of the best D/G fics that I loved in my HP days. My corner of that fandom still remains my favourite part of that time. Seriously.

One of the things to do to counteract canon that you don't enjoy is to do as @raptorlily suggested in this great post - Create Content or Support Content Creators. This is how it's always been - how else can you explain ‘fix-it fic’ or ‘post-episode fic’ where everyone writes to solve the problem introduced or hiatus-fic-explosions (like our answer to the possibility of Serpent!Juggie last summer and the fic explosion that happened) or any other kind of canon divergent fic out there. I'm not sure if you know this - but Betty wasn't really raped by Chuck... but Fall in Light said it happened. Juggie didn't really join a stage production of A Mid Summer Night's Dream... but in What Fools these Mortals Be, it happened. Hell... Archie didn't really beat the living crap out of Juggie (causing Betty to end any and all friendship with him) but it happened in In the Still of the Night.   Fic isn't canon. Fandom isn’t just about canon. You don't even have to watch the show to love the fic. There are still episodes of this season I haven't seen. There were weeks and weeks where I watched the YouTube highlights because I couldn't stomach canon... but I didn't stop reading fic. 

And there are fandom people out there who don’t read fic. I understand and accept that. So maybe this argument isn’t for them. 

But whether they’re involved in the fic side of fandom or not - campaigning relentlessly to get your way on a television show that is plotted and written way in advance is tiresome.

Guys - fandom is an amazing place.

It's a break from the drama of everyday life.

Chill the frick out and enjoy it for what it is.

#bughead #sometimes fandom is super tiring #call me reactionary or whatever #but seriously the level of drama #reminds me of junior high #and it's been a while since I was a thirteen year old girl #this isn't dragon boat races

[architectnews]

Mark Pasnik Architect, OverUnder

Mark Pasnik Architect, OUT100 list 2020, Boston Architecture, Massachusetts Architectural News, Design

Mark Pasnik Architect News

Nov 23, 2020

We are delighted to share the news that architect, author and activist, Mark Pasnik, a Founding Principal at OverUnder, Chair of the Boston Art Commission and a Professor at Wentworth Institute of Technology is one of the honorees on this year’s OUT100 list as compiled by OUT magazine.

Mark Pasnik, OverUnder, in OUT100 list

Mark is the only honoree that is an Architect and his role in raising the profile of Boston’s significant architecture and advocating for a re-examination of the city’s historic statues is a focus of the citation.

Mark is honored for his career work as a champion of “unpopular battles” which is at the core of OverUnder, the architecture design firm rooted in advocacy which he co-founded in 2006. OUT cites Mark as an expert and published author on brutalism, of which Boston City Hall is one of the most widely recognized examples. With Michael Kubo and Chris Grimley, Mark is the author of Heroic: Concrete Architecture and the New Boston, which broke ground in the scholarly assessment of concrete buildings.

Mark Pasnik, photographed for OUT magazine inside Boston City Hall, the iconic example of Brutalist architecture featured in the book Pasnik co-author, “Heroic: Concrete Architecture and the New Boston”: photograph © Sam Rosenholtz Photography

OUT also cites Mark’s role as Chair of the Boston Art Commission, where he has been reminded of the “value of meaningful public discourse in communicating across divides.”

“Every year, OUT magazine’s 100 most influential LGBTQ+ people of the year is filled with politicians, entertainers, athletes, and activists who’ve become household names,” explains Diane Anderson-Minshall, CEO & Editorial Director of Pride Media. 

“Each time there are honorees who aren’t so well known, but who have moved their world, field, or community in ways equally deserving of recognition. Mark Pasnik is one of those gems, a champion who has influenced our understanding of brutalist architecture as well as public monuments. His thought leadership and public action have touched many across the country, rippling outward through the ways his design firm OverUnder advocates for small cities that face real challenges and fights to preserve the legacies of earlier generations seen in buildings like Boston City Hall.”

The 26th annual OUT100 list is a collection of LGTBQ+ trail blazers, artists, leaders, and creators who have used their talent and voices to influence change and visibility in the last year.

I’ve included the text of the citation below and a link to the entire list of diverse, international honorees which includes François Arnaud, Tim Cook, Wilson Cruz, Karine Jean-Pierre, Rachel Maddow, Janelle Monáe, Queen Jean, Quinn, Ritchie Torres, Mary Trump, and Scott Wiener among others.

Mark Pasnik, Architect and Activist

When asked to describe himself, Mark Pasnik is humble. “I like to think of myself as having several interconnected roles — as an architect, educator, and advocate who champions the voices and legacy of other eras.”

In truth, Pasnik, who is gay, is also an expert and published author on brutalism, the “legacy of concrete modernist buildings,” as he defines the term. He cites Boston’s City Hall as “one of the most widely recognized” examples of the type of now-vilified structures “once celebrated for their bravado.” In his role as chair of the Boston Art Commission, Pasnik has been reminded of the “value of meaningful public discourse in communicating across divides.”

Earlier this year, the commission unanimously voted to remove the Emancipation Memorial in Park Square that depicted a freed American Black slave kneeling before Abraham Lincoln. He and others have implemented such discourse to address larger issues facing an increasingly polarized society suffering the effects of systemic oppression, which are often represented in historic statues that are out of step with today’s ethos. “I have been learning from many voices in Boston’s communities about symbolism and racial justice in public art,” he says.

Despite the current cultural divide, Pasnik remains hopeful for the future and the positive impact architecture can have in effecting change. “Architecture is a particularly fascinating art form because it records ideas from one era and transmits them across decades. Advocating for works of architecture means understanding those messages and sharing their lessons with new generations.” (https://overunder.co/)

https://www.out.com/print/2020/11/19/see-he-full-2020-out100-list-here#media-gallery-media-16

Mark Pasnik Architect

February 19, 2018

Mark Pasnik, AIA

Founding Principal, OverUnder

Boston, MA

Mark Pasnik is an architect, author, and professor who co-founded OverUnder, a multidisciplinary practice engaged in architecture and design projects ranging from books to city design in the United States and abroad. His renown has centered on the challenge of preserving and rethinking concrete buildings from the modern era, most recently heading the firm’s work on a Getty Foundation-funded conservation management plan for Boston City Hall. He has been an activist in the effort to preserve the Government Service Center in downtown Boston, a building by the preeminent modernist Paul Rudolph, who was a gay man.

Not afraid to take on an unpopular battle, Mark is the “concrete guy” and this is the thread that connects his studies at Cornell and Harvard, his work as an architect and designer, his influence as a university professor and scholar, and his contributions to preservation.

Concrete modernism—often labeled with the term Brutalism—represents perhaps the single most controversial movement in architecture. Its monumentality and bravado are characteristics that may be considered either inspiring or dehumanizing. Yet Pasnik has helped bring a new appreciation to these misunderstood buildings. As a consequence, many that were once vilified are now gaining new appreciation.

With Michael Kubo and Chris Grimley, Mark is the author of Heroic: Concrete Architecture and the New Boston (Monacelli Press, 2015), which broke ground in the scholarly assessment of concrete buildings, receiving awards from Docomomo US, Historic New England, the Boston Society of Architects, and the Boston Preservation Alliance. An outcome of the popularity of the book is that the title term—Heroic—is being widely used as a new name for Brutalism, one that better reflects the original civic-minded aspirations behind the works.

Pasnik is also known for providing a renewed voice to the seminal men and women of the era through his research and publications, including two towering figures who passed away recently, Henry N. Cobb and N. Michael McKinnell.

Cobb was known for his skyscrapers around the globe, including Boston’s Hancock, and as a founder of New York’s Pei Cobb Freed & Partners. He died at 93 on March 2, shortly after Pasnik edited Cobb’s only book (Henry N. Cobb: Words & Works 1948-2018).

McKinnell, who won the competition for Boston City Hall at age 26, passed away from COVID-related causes at 84 on March 27. Pasnik worked closely with McKinnell to preserve his legacy of ideas and buildings.

Looking to the future, Pasnik has been leading studios at Wentworth Institute of Technology with dozens of aspiring architecture and design students, aiming to reimagine the future of important, yet often troubled, concrete buildings. His efforts have influenced civic conversations about preservation around structures like Rudolph’s Government Service Center (Rudolph passed away in 1997), which is currently in danger of partial demolition.

In 2019 Pasnik started a new initiative in conjunction with the city’s mayor’s office, where architecture students at Wentworth engage with high school students from Boston Public Schools to evaluate and reimagine a concrete building by Marcel Breuer in the Roxbury neighborhood.

Mark has taught at the California College of the Arts, Carnegie Mellon University, Northeastern University, Rhode Island School of Design, and Wentworth Institute of Technology, where he is currently a professor. He received the American Institute of Architects Young Architects Award and was a member of the executive board of Boston Society of Architects.

Pasnik currently serves as chair of the Boston Art Commission. In this role he has been an advocate for social justice in public art, most recently overseeing the public process that led to a unanimous vote to remove and recontextualize the Emancipation Group in Boston. The statue, showing Lincoln with his arm raised over a kneeling Black man, had been criticized for decades as a misrepresentation of history and a demeaning portrayal of the formerly enslaved figure, Archer Alexander. The vote on June 30 culminated two years of work and a series of public hearings. At a time when many controversial sculptures are being removed through illegal action, Boston’s process stands as a national model for deliberation and meaningful public discourse.

Pasnik and his life partner of twenty years, David Smith, reside in Boston and New York respectively.

Mark Pasnik Architect OverUnder image / information received 231120

Address: Boston, MA, United States

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Elkus Manfredi Architects photograph © Magda Biernat Elkus Manfredi Architects

MASS Design Group image © MASS Design Group MASS Design Group

Kennedy & Violich Architecture photograph by John Horner Kennedy & Violich Architecture: KVA Boston

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Comments / photos for the Mark Pasnik Architect, OverUnder Boston page welcome

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[aadmelioraa]

Thoughts on t100 Fandom

Hey y’all,

I’ve been mulling over the following for a while and wasn’t sure if I was going to post it, but I’ve seen a few things on my dash lately that have swayed me to make this public. These thoughts aren’t directed at anyone in particular, just general Tumblr culture and t100 fandom specifically. I am not positioning myself as an authority on either in any way, but there are troubling trends even within my small fandom circle. I’ve seen too many people get hurt over misunderstandings and petty drama, but it doesn't have to be that way. Please know that I say all of these things with love and humility.

If you have an issue with someone that can be resolved privately, please consider resolving it that way. It keeps everyone else’s dash free of unnecessary drama and keeps things from spiraling out of control. 

Along the same lines, if you see some vague posts flying around or accusations being levied against someone, talk to those people in private rather than contributing to an unfounded public discussion. Oftentimes those posts are misleading and end up damaging someone’s reputation for no reason.

Don’t hijack someone’s post. This means: if you have a strongly contradictory opinion about someone’s post, a negative opinion, or just an off topic response inspired by the post make your own post instead of reblogging theirs with your comment (esp if you don’t know the OP)--it’s just self preservation, honestly. Make sure you fully understand what the OP is saying you choose to reference it in any way. Things get twisted so easily on this site and before you know it you’ve started The Discourse.

Don’t speak over people and don’t discredit them for their age, race, sexuality, you name it. No one should feel ashamed to speak their mind especially in regards to fandom opinions (except literal nazis, fuck those guys). Tumblr culture encourages people to jump down each other’s throats rather than engaging in actual conversation. This competition to be the most progressive doesn’t translate to the way people are treated in these exchanges. Its very disheartening because often real issues are being discussed but the thread gets overtaken by name-calling and ad hominem attacks. 

Nobody gets to speak for everybody. Learn to discern between real issues (and there sure are some!) and personal drama dressed up as as discussion of gospel truth. You are not obligated to agree with anyone else’s opinion, despite how much righteous anger might emanate from their post.

When it comes to criticism: everyone comes at fandom from a different perspective and background, and we all should be able to respect each other’s POV without immediately jumping to “You’re wrong bc you’re X” or “I’m right bc I’m Y.” There is a wonderful diversity in this fandom, and we need to appreciate that by listening to each other, not attacking each other.   **Please understand I am not excusing any bigoted behavior, for which I absolutely will not stand, or trying to invalidate anyone’s point of view, but too often this fandom jumps with a hive mind mentality to “this person is sexist bc they disagree with this person or this argument,” etc.**

Don’t be an asshole. Don’t send someone unsolicited negative opinions no matter how much you hate their ship or favorite character or interpretation of the show. It’s rude and unnecessary and creates a very toxic culture. Be snarky all you want with people who agree with you over private messages or on your own blog (we all need this, I repeat, WE ALL NEED THIS), but don’t shit in people’s inboxes and don’t drag people who like what you hate into it. No one ever had their mind changed by a nasty message, anon or not.

If one of your mutuals or friends engages in any of these destructive behaviors, talk to them! It’s possible that you don’t know the whole situation, but its also possible that they didn’t realize how they were coming across. It’s much better to have a friend approach you than to have your post taken out of context or turned into discourse. We all make mistakes, and it’s so easy for people to take things the wrong way when all you have is text.

Don’t let the negativity in your feed discourage you. The people who make fandom less fun only get air time if we let them, so instead of reblogging shitty posts because you like the drama, focus your energy on people who are making this fandom better.

Curate your dash. Follow who you want, don’t just follow people because they are popular if you don’t like what they post. If seeing someone or something in your feed bums you out, unfollow/block/blacklist that shit. It will improve your life SO MUCH, I promise.

You’re not a bad person because you like a fictional character or ship. Anyone who tell you that or gives you hate for it is wrong.  Especially with a show like t100, where it’s messy and fucked up and all our faves make all the wrong choices sometimes. Do I have characters I really dislike? Sure, of course I do. But I’m not going to think less of anyone who likes those characters. I will, however, think less of people who attack or belittle others for their character or ship preferences. Real people matter more than fictional characters, no matter what.

This fandom has so many amazing people in it, don’t forget that!! And the content creators...we are BLESSED. The fanart, fanfic, meta, edits, playlists, etc that y’all create blow me away each and every day. Keep reblogging the shit you like, because its amazing and it deserves all the credit in the world.

Every little act of kindness truly matters. Take minute to send a kind message to a friend, leave a review on AO3, submit compliments about underrated bloggers to t100positivity.

I hope this makes sense. I think we can work together to build a better fandom for everyone. I don’t want these types of habits to ruin anyone’s fandom experience or worse, especially as we head into s5. I’m always here if you need to talk, and I really appreciate everyone who has made my fandom experience so positive. Thank you ❤️

#the 100 #the 100 fandom #I appreciate all y'all and just want the best for you

[qqueenofhades]

Hey Hilary! I haven't seen "confederate" or "the man in the high castle", I only know their basic premises, but how are they different? I don't understand why are people so upset about one but not the other (this is probably me just missing something), can you explain your point of view?

Confederate isn’t out yet, it was only announced recently as the next project of the Game of Thrones co-creators (Benioff and Weiss). People are giving this all kinds of side-eye because a) Game of Thrones is overwhelmingly white, and b) has a huge, HUGE problem with violence against its female characters, especially rape. So when you have a couple of white guys who are known for their shock value style, and who have seemed obsessed with rape as a plot device, proposing to make a show about modern slavery, when black people are well aware that violent racism has never gone away and when neo-Nazism and the Confederacy are still proudly identified with, has… way too much possibility to just be gross as hell. I understand they have hired some black writers, which is better than not hiring black writers, but… why do we NEED a show about this? Why do we need more misery porn, more depictions of African Americans as slaves, more images and mainstream space for this ideology, when the president of the country is a self-confessed white supremacist? What are we getting out of this, fictionally or in reality? It’s not the right of fiction to take a historical premise and redo it that I object to – I love alt-history as a genre. But this is not particularly new. “What if the South had won the Civil War” has been done to death, and represents more than a little wish fulfillment. And as noted, Benioff and Weiss’ previous work makes everyone rightfully wary that this is going to be “shock, rape, and violence.” And we… have that every day in reality against black people. We don’t need more.

If you want a show about the Civil War turning out differently, Amazon is developing a series (with actual black showrunners) about a post-Reparations America where black people have received several Southern states for their own country. This puts the power and agency back in their hands, does not present the degrading and mistreatment of black people as entertainment (when again, we get that enough in reality) is an interesting and not-overdone premise, and allows us to imagine an opposite reality that is actually different from our own and promises a critical reflection on the way things are. Maybe Confederate can do that, but.. yeah, my hopes are not high, and it’s not something we need or which tells us anything different. At worst, it’s grimdark torture porn masquerading as “bold” and socially engaged media.

Meanwhile, The Man in the High Castle is based on a novel from 1962 and which, in my view, actually takes its premise both seriously and which never pretends the Nazis winning WWII was a good thing. Its contrast with our universe becomes (no spoilers) a major plot point. All the main Nazis are white American men. The people who suffer for it (and who make up the resistance) are women, Jews, people of color, Japanese-Americans, and others. The show is dark and violent, but it never substitutes gore or shock for story, and actually does what a well-constructed alt-history should do, especially one with such troubling resonance for our present moment. It makes us look really hard at who we are and how we got here.

Believe me, I heard about its ill-advised marketing campaign by putting up swastikas, and that made me cringe. I also cringe at the unsurprising tendency in fandom to woobify John Smith and Joe Blake (the main American-white-man Nazis, who at the moment are both unrepentant Nazis) and make pretty edits for them and ship them with Juliana Crane (the main female heroine). I… can’t do it. They’re complex characters (though I think Joe is just a lame asshole, frankly) and I recognize what they bring to the story, especially Smith, but he’s a villain. I recognize that problems exist around and outside the show, but as a narrative itself, I haven’t seen it glorifying Nazis or acting as if this is something to be aspired to at all, and which urges critique of their reappearance in our own present moment. As I said, it’s based on a book from the 60s, and it is actually reflecting our current events in a way that makes us THINK about these events, our complicity in them, and the way in which white America has become happily Nazified in TMHC’s world – because let’s be real, that is exactly what would happen. And again, its contrast with our world is something that is acknowledged, comes up, and is dealt with. If they take a U-turn in season 3 and change these premises, then yeah, I’m going to call them out for it.

The point isn’t to say that twisting a historical premise is inherently “wrong,” or that fiction has no right to explore controversial topics, or to posit alternate outcomes. But the way in which these stories do it, the message they are sending, the ideology around its creation, and the way in which those themes are handled in resonance to the present, all has to be done carefully and critically. Every piece of historical fiction, especially around charged events like these, is produced for a modern audence. You can’t ignore that in the name of some supposed “purity of historical experience.” It doesn’t exist. You have to reckon the world into which you are putting this creation, and why.

So yes. Fiction has every right to imagine “what if the South won the Civil War” or “what if the Nazis won World War II” or anything else. But that places an added responsibility on it to do it very carefully, with relation to our existing popular media and political discourse, and one which I have absolutely no reason to think Benioff and Weiss can pull off.

#ransomideas #ask