#i used to have a spyglass For The Aesthetic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

baptaincarnacles · 2 years

Text

Octonauts Headcanons (Kwazzi)

Humanized AU!

Cw: Uncensored swearing, mention of injury

Lieutenant Kwazzi

Demi-boy (He/they), Trans (ftm)

Panromantic/demisexual/polyamorus

ADHD and Dyslexia

Looks up to Captain Barnacles more than he does most other people (aside from his grandfather, Calico Jack).

Didn't know their parents too well, but went on regardless.

A pick-pocket when he was younger, often stealing loose change and other things from strangers to bring back to his grandfather (when they were landing for resources).

Always suspected there was more reason behind their granddad's sudden disappearance (once they had convinced themselves they were the cause, later believed that perhaps the pirate, White Beard, had something to do with it).

Spyglass is one of their comfort items.

He never watched cartoons as a child, but spends his time watching them whenever he can now (especially on days where he is not needed on missions)

Binged the Barbie movies (with Peso).

Sees Tweak as a sister figure, and will go to her if they need a quick pat on the back.

Playful insults are his love language but he also enjoys hand holding.

They probably make bracelets for the crew (pride flag colors, or their favorite colors), and they always seem to wear them (Barnacles especially).

Knows the most about Barnacles (out of the main crew) and the depths of his fears and some traumas.

Autophobia (fear of being alone) bothers them quite a bit, as well as heavy arachnophobia (to the point they will hyperventilate at the sight of a spider).

Uses all the hot water when he showers/baths (and gets lectured by a 'car' oil-covered Tweak after he finally gets out of the bathroom).

Has most definitely dressed up to play role in one of Barnacles' reenactments of a play- no matter what he had to wear because "fuck gender norms."

Instead of calling it the f-word, he simply goes, "*insert name* just said the fuck-word."

Probably swears the most out of the crew, Tweak as a close second.

They have only heard the captain swear once and it was when the other had been pinned dangerously close to the edge of a cliff.

Bandages solely for aesthetic- and some minor cuts along his hands from reckless behavior (especially crashing the Gups).

Barnacles hesitates to let them drive any Gup other than the Gup B.

No schedule for anything.

Mx. "I'll sleep when my body decides I need it!"

He's really the kind of person to take April 1st to a whole other level. Faking injury every other hour (with fake blood and everything), though will stop the moment Peso freaks out too much. Though his favorite thing to do is casually prank Barnacles with Whoopee Cushions in random seats, and perhaps pour a bucket of water on the man's head.

Naturally ginger, though people assume that it's dyed or that they wear a wig- and they often complain about it (Peso will laugh at them, but they don't care).

Despite what everyone has speculated about the eye patch, it's worn solely for the preparation of going into a darker room, so he is able to adjust more quickly- he hadn't been injured and required it.

Favorite texture is often the feeling of yarn, so they keep balls of yarn in their room and will often toss it back and forth between their hands.

Life of the party. If he's not there, the party is not there.

Mirrors people often, especially those he looks up to (this includes picking up their habits and wanting to do what they do).

Attention span? Yeah, no, he's already gone.

Once again, this is fairly long so...small break!

Back to the regularly scheduled program!

Owns various pride items to put into their room (including a pan flag directly below their Jolly Roger) and onto their clothes. A lot of the items they gather they view as precious/collectibles.

Loves fidget spinners and fidget cubes, often carrying them in his pockets. If he loses one? Barnacles gets him another. When and where? He has no idea but appreciates it.

If he finds anything left behind by Calico Jack, he holds it close, and he looks everywhere around as if expecting Calico to step around the corner and laugh. When he doesn't see Calico, he is just saddened.

They have definitely cried into Barnacles' shoulder for hours after nightfall, seeking comfort in the older man.

Probably tested prototypes for Tweak, no matter how dangerous that they seemed (and has injured himself after not listening to Tweak).

He had a competitive rivalry with Paani after they first met, but slowly grew to be the man's friend, and later found himself falling in love (and made it so obvious it hurt).

Adrenaline junkie. If there's danger? Hell yeah!

Forgets where everything is, even if it's in their hands.

They know Morse Code for the hell of it (and they secretly communicate with Shellington through it).

Learned a couple of languages during his days as a pirate, mainly Spanish and French where they had encountered those the most.

Swears in French because Paani thinks it's funny.

Their favorite cartoons are Looney Toons and Animaniacs (but they do find amusement in shows like Spongebob, Barbie Movies, etc...). Their favorite show had been Our Flag Means Death, and as you can imagine, the entire crew had to listen to them rant about how accurate they thought it was.

Avid Reddit user and takes it fairly seriously, meanwhile his Instagram/Twitter is complete rubbish he thought of while half asleep.

He used to play drums for the fun of it, and he often still does in spare time (often attempting to teach others to play). As well as playing a bass guitar (very well), and he played a Recorder.

Hides the fact they are a published author from the rest of the crew, the only member that knows is Professor Inkling, and Inkling will often tease being their number one fan.

Flustered incredibly easily.

Frequent vocal stims ("Yeow!", hissing, and various other noises that are connected to cat-like behavior. Dashi gave them the nickname, "Kwazii-Cat" because of this).

While Barnacles is most clearly the strongest, Kwazzi is the swiftest (earning him the nickname 'Achilles' from the Captain).

They always gets emotional listening to the Captain and Inkling talk about Greek myths, especially when they understand them more than most other things (definitely read "The Song of Achilles").

Has accidentally referred to Paani as their "Patroclus" at least a few times and immediately apologized.

Sings Sea Shanties with the Captain (and sometimes gets Paani and Peso to join in as well).

Probably encountered Barnacles when they were both pirates (or on the open sea).

And... A (small) photo dump!

#octonauts #kwazii #captain barnacles #tweak bunny #professor inkling #octonauts headcanons #octonauts paani

32 notes · View notes

fantasyideas1 · 7 months

Text

quotes almat

Aphorisms The face is an emotional plasticine of fate, you are not the lord of love, on the waves of times of life in life in picturesque wrinkles, the third eye is like a spyglass of insight, wrinkles of empathy, philosophical sadness of romance, the adrenaline of enthusiasm of senseless panic subsides from the speed of stupidity, wrinkles of wisdom and sympathy grow, the architecture of DNA in human behavior, vulnerable egoists fixated on the past, cunning cowards on the future, courageous romantics on the present, the night covers the earth with cosmic, romantic serenity of eternity, so that you do not create it will decay, even durable materials will not resist eternity, eternity will erase everything your memory, you are a spectator in this infinity, intuition will lead you to the true path of wisdom, a gourmet of feelings, an equalizer of feelings to taste the frequency of the sound of the sound and taste of truth, in the compositional patterns of instincts, outstanding lyrical melodies of the biological symphony of philosophy, neurons are slaves of the microchip of instinct , having overcome it, we evolve, the fear of confined spaces, but they are not afraid to sit in a closed office, teenagers are afraid of the dark, but they are not afraid to walk until late, they are afraid of heights, but they are not afraid to work on the top floor, the fear of panic in a cowardly cosmetic bag of hypocrisy is lost, is used as spray to blind trust, analysis human behavior, reveals the cipher of vicious banality, a binary algorithm of instinctive compositions of brain waves, it is the result of a weak-willed mimicry of socialization, sleep is a red wine tincture of thoughts moving in the blood of the brain, blooming with inspiration at dawn, a quantum reboot of rethinking in the subconscious, paradox data processing, psychology as and mathematics and physics are subject to the cold logic of the mechanics of brain behavior based on the manipulation of socialization, even with overpopulation of the earth and an increase in immigrants, it is difficult to find a soul mate, fat women are divine pulp, the greed of the rich illusory accelerates time, forcing young people to grow up faster from this inhibitory effect of infantile dreamy whims, stagnation from cunning in which they run from reality into smartphones, looking for a person like themselves, an egocentric hypocrite who sees a clone of a hypocrite in the mirror ironically mimicking, it tickles the ego, Poetry Divinely juicy body, growing, masturbating lust, poetizing every second of priceless beauty, you evoke in me a special tenderness from which it draws only to you, an aesthetic masterpiece of the value of eternity, in true infinity, romantic careless daydreaming about you, your beauty is like an erection heater of my penis , an erection ring of fidelity, your beauty is like a mechanical masturbator, automatic love, my speeches burn with fiery compliments of lust in love in outbursts of passion, I can't keep it in check, I enjoy every second, one second sweeter than another excites you fall in love more and more, you have a special sexuality, gentle sensual lust of a sincere impulse of passion, so sweet that my liver and teeth can not stand so much excitement, foam from

Author musin almat zhumabekovich

#quotes #life quotes

0 notes

drakoala · 1 year

Text

Vathiron’s Vision

A Warcraft Short Story

---

Before me sat Vathiron, devoid of his usual excessively friendly demeanor. The elven magus stared at me pensively. I’m not sure whether he was deciding to indulge my questions further or banish me from his presence. Murder me in some horrible manner, maybe. Was I wrong to ask about his past? The shadow that fell over his tired face might have been such a hint. Probably, it would have been wiser to see the overly jovial manners for the façade they were. He stroked his long raven beard, twirled the few strands of silver that peeked out while he left me in an increasingly uncomfortable silence. At last, the magus closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh.

“Very well”, he’d breathed. There was a shift in the air, as if someone opened a door to the outside. The two of us were clearly alone, though. As his brows furrowed, it’d become apparent that the magus was drawing power to himself. That shift in the air seemed to buzz with energy. I could feel my skin tingling. The elven man stood, brushed his regal robes, and stepped around the table that separated us. Murder was off the table now, surely… His eyes met mine levelly, one of his sharply angled brows raised to pose a silent question. He drew close, near enough that I could see every crease of his tired face. The magus leaned his gloved hands on my side of the table. The elf’s tight leather gloves squeaked on the highly polished surface, seeming quite loud in that painfully quiet, expectant atmosphere. I’d little notion of what he had in mind. When I managed to nod, answering the silent question, Vathiron drew a sharp, anticipatory breath. One hand rested on my shoulder firmly yet gentle. It seemed more to steady himself than hold me. The other reached up, palm met my forehead as the thumb found my temple. The sound of the elf’s gloved hand crinkled in my ear. I could have sworn that I felt his hand trembling. A fleeting feeling, but I felt it. The briefest of shocks, almost painful, coursed from the magus’ hands. Like the bursting of a dam, welled up power shot down and through the elf’s arms fast as lightning. I remember my vision flashed blinding white—the table’s bench fell away, and my feet found no floor. Falling through a tunnel of whirling energy.

I found myself in a marvelous stone hall. White stones—polished such that I could see the reflections of overhanging crystalline chandeliers—stretched down a seemingly infinite corridor, its end obscured in shadow. Glowing gems dangled between the chandeliers that filled the corridor with warm, amber light. Seams of twinkling gold wound around and between the stones like rivers. Banners of thick, blood red silk gently flowed in equal intervals down the chasmic corridor, separated by pedestals bearing artifacts of exotic makes, levitating gadgets, and enormous crystals of all colors. The symbol upon the banners was blurred, contorted beyond my recognition. It was as if I saw them through a spyglass dotted with wet. Behind me, I saw a large, obscenely thick seeming door of burnished lumber and scaley wrought iron closing the hall off. Before I could discern more, I scarcely made out the sound of a pair of muffled voices.

The voices had grown louder just as a dull violet glow seeped through the edges of the door. Slowly, the door swung open with a silence eerie for its enormous bulk. Vathiron strode forward, seeming far more youthful. He was devoid of silver hairs and was smooth-faced, creases of age and stress having vanished. He wore robes of a vastly different aesthetic, one that seemed far more fitting of nobility than of a sorcerer. Regardless of this new attire, the magus appeared just as dapper and eloquently ensembled as ever. Close behind the elven man glided an almost equally youthful, if only slightly wizened, elven woman. The woman seemed to emanate a humble confidence, patience, and warmth. Dimples were only just visible beneath a spattering of tanned freckles by virtue of smile lines. Emerald eyes scanned the space, seeming to miss nothing. Though less dashing in her regalia, the woman clearly favored function over her companion’s fancy embroidery and enchanted, flowing ribbons. Considering the abundance of tightly bound pouches and pockets for assorted gear, this woman seemed fit for travels of great distance with a gait of efficiency to match. Each step seemed as effortless as her calm breathing, as if she knew precisely where to step long before she arrived.

“…my love, it’s troubled me since. Something about it is—it’s wrong. Your calculations are correct, and reasoning sound, but perhaps—” The woman’s voice flowed like a beautiful sonata. Every note of her song tugged at the heart, confidently creating verses that commanded attention. Something about this woman’s visage became troubling to my mind’s eye, however. I came to realize that every feature of this elven woman was extremely vivid—excessively so—her radiant beauty seemed indulged as if a tall tale had come to life. I soon found that disjointed thoughts and emotions rattled in my skull, forced upon my mind through a one-way connection. My feelings were not my own.

“Nora, I’ll keep my promise—you know that. If this does not work, I shall leave it.” The magus spoke with a vulnerable sincerity, a meekness, such that I’d never expected from such a commanding force. He scooped up the woman’s hands in his own, gentle as though they were eggshells. “But… If it does… Think of what we might discover—what knowledge, what distant places! Why, not a plane of existence would be out of our reach.” Vathiron marveled at the prospects with that air of confidence I’d become so accustomed to, with the certainty that his words were truth. The woman managed a small, wary smile and nodded slowly.

The air around me began to vibrate, to tingle with energy. Suddenly, I was lofted up, weightless. The seemingly infinite corridor rushed past, little more than a blur of white and red. Despite the violent speed, no air had beat upon my face, nor thundered in my ears. I realized I had no legs. I tried to feel for them, but my arms didn’t respond. I had no arms. I looked through the void where my chest should have been but saw nothing apart from the polished stones that blurred past. While I struggled to comprehend my lack of a body, the end of the corridor rushed to meet me, summoning a pit to my stomach. Despite apparently lacking a body, I thought I would surely splatter on the wall ahead. As suddenly as I was lifted and thrust forward, I stopped just a few strides away from an archway. Its immaculate, minutely precise carvings in a glassy, obsidian-like material depicted numerous runes and unrecognizable enchantments. Small gemstones and clear orbs containing swirling energy speckled throughout the archway’s myriad designs. Between each gem and orb appeared to be a shallow channel, veering up and over and around the arch. In stark contrast to the abundance of ornamentation of the archway, a simple wooden door had laid between, blocking the corridor’s end. There was a distinct lack of a handle.

I looked back down the corridor and found I could not see past a thick fog of blurred gray smoke. It obscured everything beyond several strides down. Vathiron stepped through the smoke, seeming to manifest from within. He peered up at the archway, brows furrowed in concentration. The magus turned to look through me, a pensive expression fading to concern. “I cannot do this without you. Please—I need you, as I ever have”, he pleaded into the smoke. The woman appeared in a similar fashion, now carrying a staff of spiraling oak and maple branches entwined about one another. A large, diamond-shaped prism speared through the tops of the branches’ gnarled ends—its smooth, clear surface seemed to pulsate a rich violet glow. The tapping of the staff reverberated down the obscured hall, followed closely by the clicking of the woman’s silver-metallic boots.

“And I will always answer. You know this.” The woman’s melodic voice sang out softly as she cupped the magus’ cheek. She smiled up at Vathiron, leaning on her staff for a moment while the pair seemed to consider one another. Then, her hand fell away and she turned to the door. Her soft features had hardened to a fact-of-the-matter seriousness. “Very well. Let us begin.” The prism at the head of the woman’s staff began to brighten, pulses of violet light quickening. Between the grains of the wooden door, arcane power began to seep out.

Once again, the air around me began to vibrate. The image before me filled with thick gray smoke and was brushed aside. As the smoke dissipated, I waited for another image to rush forward. Nothing but absolute blackness met my eyes. Time passed. Still nothing. I began to panic. What was happening? Was the vision over? Perhaps I merely needed to wake myself. I tried reaching up to my face. I had no hands. I tried yelling for the magus to end this, to pull me out. I heard nothing. I thought, my heartbeat must be pulsing, thundering in my ears by now, but I heard nothing. I felt nothing.

A blinding white light flashed, merciful and terrible to behold as I felt my eyes burned by the sudden brightness. The magus stood a short distance away. Perhaps he floated. My grasp on any such spatial reasoning had left me. He was holding his arms out—out to me. He beckoned, worked his mouth in a silent call. Despite his frantic expression, I could just read his lips. ‘To me’, ‘come to me’, he seemed to say. The sinews on his neck bulged, arms flailed in patterns that weaved and traced lines. Not say—he was screaming. Dim swirls of energy conjured around his hands, following the lines he traced. The magus punched through the rune that appeared before him. I winced, bracing for the spell to take hold of me. It fizzled out, fading into a faint shower of multicolored particles that twinkled out of existence. Horror overcame Vathiron as he stared at me with terrified eyes. His hands clutched at his head, fingers clawed at his skull. He desperately tried again, weaving and tracing lines. Again, the spell fizzled away. He tried another, and another, and another. When he moved to try once more, the magus froze, stared at his hand. It was becoming transparent. His jaw dropped. He gaped at me through the hand. I could see his terrified eyes—my heart caught in my throat. He shook his head, slapped his hands on his chest, his legs, his face. He looked back up at me with wide eyes one last time before he faded away like a ghost, leaving nothing but the empty blackness.

I blinked, found myself in a dimly lit, wide, circular room of heavy wood beams and gray stone floors. An enormous collection of books spilled from cases that reached the ceiling. Piles of tomes and bags of rolled parchments littered the floor, narrowly parted just enough to weave around. I spotted Vathiron hunched over an elegant, regally decorated wooden desk. As with the rest of the room, books piled high and spilled off the desk. He scribbled on an expansive sheet of parchment, just having finished a strange series of glyphs. I rounded over to the side of the desk and glimpsed the magus’ pained expression through his disheveled hair. He appeared as I remembered from before the vision began. Almost. His eyes were sunken, cheekbones visible beneath tight skin. His pale flesh resembled a corpse—not at all the tanned, well-defined noble visage I was so accustomed to.

The magus slammed his pen down and stood. Still staring down at the series of glyphs, his hand shot out just beside my face, hurling a sudden storm of arcane energy through a pile of books. The leatherbound tomes exploded apart, cracking and crinkling as papers and book spines clattered away. Behind that pile of books was an archway. Its design was like what I had seen in the earlier vision, though smaller and lacking the abundance of gemstones. It seemed far cruder, more hastily wrought. I noted it distinctly lacked a door, seeing bare stone through the empty threshold. The runes around the arch began to glow a sickly violet, pulsing slowly as the magus stepped forward. He raised his arms, palms squaring to the archway. He gritted his teeth and planted his feet. The air around me began to vibrate. I waited for the image to shift, for the vision to move me along suddenly and violently. Instead, the space between the archway ignited with a concussive bang. Blindingly bright white light spilled into the wide room, such that rivalled the midday sun. Vathiron’s haggard face slacked in awe. And then he cackled. Arms still outstretched, he beamed, apparently pleased with his work. The brilliant light receded towards the edges of the arch’s threshold, shimmering against a total blackness. Air rushed into the blackness, sucking loose pages and parchments through a gateway between planes of existence.

“NORA! I’m here! I’m—I—I—I’ve not left you! I’m here!” The magus screeched through the archway, manic despite his planted poise. The image of the woman who’d accompanied Vathiron in an earlier vision floated in the empty blackness, seemingly only just out of arms’ reach. I realized she appeared exactly as she had previously. Untouched by time. By the magus’ appearance, I’d judged at least several decades to have passed, and yet… The woman had shielded her eyes, then began to squint. She struggled to see through the gateway from her side. The magus moved to reach through the portal. I could see his hand tremble, see his knees buckle. Tears welled in his tired eyes. He was smiling pathetically. Just as his hand was about to cross the portal’s threshold, the woman’s eyes had gone wide. Terror gripped her face as she finally seemed to recognize the face staring back at her. I felt my heart stop. I anticipated something—but the feeling was not my own.

A series of glistening, mottled violet and black tendrils sprang at the woman, uncoiling from just behind the image visible in the gateway. Shadows dripped from the disgusting appendages like thin oil. The tendrils pierced through the woman’s shoulder, thigh, stomach, torso, and neck like spears. Her mouth hung open in a silent scream. When at last the sight registered with the magus, he gagged and stumbled sidewards. His outstretched hand faltered. Vathiron stared, trembled, was utterly helpless in his state of shock. I looked on to see the woman’s horrified face. It looked as if she was trying to force a calm upon herself. She mouthed words silently at the magus and slowly nodded. I could have sworn I saw that she smiled within that pained expression. Then, the tendrils sheared the woman apart in a nightmare of viscera and limbs. Vathiron emitted a mouse-like squeak. He dropped to all fours, stared on with bulging eyes. The portal now showed nothing but the empty blackness. The tendrils had vanished, and no trace of the woman remained. Time never seemed to resume.

The woman reappeared, suddenly and unceremoniously—as if she had never been harmed. Vathiron continued staring, apparently not yet capable of believing anything he’d seen. The woman shook her head, slowly at first. Her shock set in, and her headshaking became panicked. Still silent, though I could clearly see she’d intended to scream at the tops of her lungs, she seemed to shout, “wrong, wrong, wrong—no, no, no—wrong! CLOSE!” Vathiron remained frozen. And the tendrils came. Again, the nightmare sprung to life, and again, the woman met a gruesome end. Then there would be nothing. Again, she would reappear. She still seemed terrified, but there was a set to her jaw. Emerald eyes stared on from that nightmare with a cold determination. The vision began to blur. The image swirled in and out of focus. I was able to see the woman silently speak, “I love you” while gently slashing a hand through the empty space. From his defeated position, the magus trembled. The stones just beneath his face grew wet with fallen tears. His fist rose, then smacked into the stones with a loud crack. The archway crumbled away. Then, a gray smoke gushed into the room, swirled around and stole away my sight. I blinked. Before me sat Vathiron. He stared back with those tired eyes and gave his usually warm, welcoming smile.

At last, I understood.

#warcraft #short story #fantasy

1 note · View note

asoue-sideblog · 5 years

Text

two aesthetic issues with the ASOUE movie

Movie Violet’s awful bang tendrils make me so mad. Violet is characterized as a girl who gets her hair out of the way when she’s trying to think - why does she have these weird little extra bangs that are long enough to get in her eyes and face, but too short to catch with a ribbon? I just wanna take a pair of scissors and just snip those hair things right off.

The movie spyglasses are the most generic things ever and it makes no sense that movie Klaus jumps to the conclusion that they’re significant, or that Monty and their parents must have had the same spyglass. It’s not that unusual to have a spyglass lying around in a drawer somewhere and Monty actually goes on expeditions and could get practical use from a spyglass, so it’s not an outrageous coincidence that both parties have one. There’s no way he could have verified they definitely had to be identical models, because they didn’t have any distinguishing features.

#i used to have a spyglass For The Aesthetic #it just sat in a drawer #asoue #asoue movie #negativity #(not about netflix this time!)

28 notes · View notes

alwaysahiccupandastrid · 3 years

Text

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 7 *FINALE* (Thoughts and Rambles)

We have a LOT to unpack here oh my god oh my god

When I say I was screaming and yelling during the episode, I mean I was LITERALLY screaming and yelling

This post is mostly screeching and capital letters, you’ve been warned

“So cold” “life or death meant nothing” - well shit. Accurate description of a Spectre attack damn

I didn’t know what those creepy noises were at first and I was sat here absolutely TERRIFIED because it was creepy as fuck. Then I realized it was cliff ghasts because they said something that I recognized from the book and I was like “oh shit”

Pan and Will talking is the sweetest omg

The fact that Pan told him that Lyra thinks he’s as brave as King Iorek Byrnison :’)

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had” “You’re her best friend too” - STOP, MY HEART

Lyra was awake and heard the whole conversation :3

“I’m no longer an aeronaut” :( “I’m an insect” - LMAO

Hester and Lee’s banter remains my favourite thing and now it’s bittersweet tbh...

“You could never be an insect, Lee” “Okay, hare” - bless them

Marisa finding where Lyra was staying and then finding Lyra’s coat?? And crying with it pressed to her face?? :’(

In case I haven’t mentioned it already, I am incredibly gay for the witches/their aesthetic/costume. Absolutely beautiful queens, all of them

Oh hi, it’s Mary and the two kids!

The fact that Mary helped them find their adults :’)

Also, “We like you miss” - BLESS

I’m kind of confused as to whether the blue flower petals are important or if it’s just her smelling them? IDK

“I’m close to my father, it’s time I found him” - OOF OKAY UMM ARE YOU SURE

“I let my best friend down” - Noooo Lyra, no you didn’t! :( Your dad is a terrible parent and killed him, that’s not your fault!

“Maybe this is how I let you down” - Well done, Asriel and Marisa, you’ve fucked up a perfectly fine child is what you’ve done

Will telling Lyra that she hasn’t let him down :3

That witch turning up because she was trying to warn Marisa about the spectres, only for Marisa to torture and kill her... oof

FUCKING MONKEY I CAN’T DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM

“She’s MY daughter” - Okay, damn, lady...

“EVE. She’s the mother of all” - OH FUCK YOU TOLD HER. OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

THE SPECTRE ATE HER DÆMON OMG NO THIS IS HORRIFYING WTAF

Seriously, the way the witch went so grey and lifeless and just fell to her knees and down... Urgh, my stomach is turning

Just when I thought I hated the monkey again, he starts whimpering because he’s afraid of the Spectres :(

“Stop whimpering” - DAMN MARISA YOU ARE A STONE COLD BITCH HUH

Pan being the damn voice of reason and telling Lyra they should stay with the witches like yes, Lyra, listen to him for once!!!

Okay but why are the Magisterium soldiers lowkey dressed like German soldiers from one of the World Wars???

I’m not really surprised that BBC left out the detail of Ruta and Asriel fucking when she found him to be honest XD

So the witches think that the Æsahættr is a person but it’s actually the KNIFE. AND THEY DON’T REALIZE. RUTA YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ANYWHERE, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

“...That’s not my dæmon.” “Run.” - OH SHIT OKAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST TENSED UP

So umm Lee got shot and FUCK NO FUCK NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS EMOTIONALLY THANKS

I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN OKAY

“You’re either with me or against me” Umm he’s your dæmon?!?!

THE WAY SHE SCREAMED AT HIM OH MY GOD SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

“What are you frightened of?” - oh, I don’t know, Marisa, maybe because YOU FUCKING SCREECHED AT HIM. MAYBE HE’S FRIGHTENED OF YOU

Also I love the detail of Marisa getting onto her hands and knees, sort of crouching and mirroring the monkey’s body language. I just love the parallel

The way the monkey flinched from her when she went to touch him omg :( No dæmon should be THIS afraid of their person (or at all?!?!)

Honestly, I find this series’ portrayal of Marisa fascinating tbh

“We have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe” - Umm, like maybe drugging her and hiding her in a cave for months? 🤔

Also in case I didn’t say this before, the fact she has complete control of the Spectres is fucking scary and always has been from the very first time I read the books

Okay so Lee is fully aware that he’s going to die if he stays behind but he does it because he knows that it’s the best chance of making sure that Lyra ends up under the knife’s protection (because Jopari will find her). All Lee wants is for Lyra to be safe and that hurts my heart so much, he loves this child so much :’(

“I love that little girl like a daughter” - LEE STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY BREAKING AS IT IS

NO NO NO NO I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL BE READY

Oh hey Red PAN-da (sorry I know I keep repeating that joke but honestly LOOK AT HIM)

“Once I change, you’ll stop changing” - OH SHIT. So we’re having THAT conversation then

“What do you think you’ll be?” “A flea I hope” - LMFAO I LOVE IT

“Is it Will that’s changing you?” “I think” - FORESHADOWING FOR AMBER SPYGLASS ANYONE?!

All the meanwhile, while Lee is dying and shit is going down, Ms Mary Malone is just chilling in a cave on a mountain by a waterfall, just reading

I literally struggled to watch Lee’s final scenes. I literally didn’t want to watch it because I cried reading it in the book, and I knew I’d be the same here

The fact that Lee HATES taking away people’s lives but he says “it’s theirs or Lyra’s”... I love him. He loves her so much.

“Think about anything, think about bacon!” - LMFAO I LOVE YOU HESTER YOU ABSOLUTE GEM

THE BULLET CLIPPED HIS SCALP AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” - NO HESTER NO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF DARLIN’, YOU ARE THE BEST AND WE LOVE YOU AND LEE LOVES YOU

I do this everytime I read the book and I did here even though I know what happens, but I was praying mentally that maybe Serafina would reach Lee in time... just maybe...

I’m really sitting here crying over Hester and Lee on a Sunday night, love that for me

Hester limping :(

“Don’t you go before I do” - FUCK YOU BBC AND PHILIP I’M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

“Oh how far we flew” - STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR-

I literally yelled and cried out “NOOO” when Hester faded away and Lee died. I am so upset even though I KNEW it was coming. I am literally not okay.

Oh god no Will, now is not the time to be walking away from Lyra and that witch

Also why is that witch asleep on guard?? Come on, love, do better, it’s not like these are the two most important children in all the universes....

To be fair to Marisa, I’d feel pretty invincible if I were climbing up a mountain while the Spectres were guarding me/on my side

WILL AND JOHN FINALLY MET AHHHH

“I was told I’d find my father here” - YEAH AND THAT’S HIM WILL ASDFGHJKL;

I’m low-key disappointed that there’s no brawl between Will and Jopari here. Like they instantly recognize each other and... hmm. I know there has to be changes but still.

“Your mother, Will, where is she?” - Awww. John really didn’t stop loving her :’)

“My son... is the Knife Bearer” - oooooohhhhhhh

“You have a dæmon” - that’s right, Will. Don’t worry, you’ll get one next season

The way I audible went “oh shIT” when Mrs Coulter found Lyra fast asleep. Like I said, I knew what was going to happen but STILL

I’m not really surprised that those Spectres killed the witch who was supposed to be guarding Lyra and Will tbh like that’s what happens when only ONE witch guards two teenagers and that witch falls asleep

The way that Lyra panicked when she woke up and saw her mother stroking her cheek omg

Off topic but I’ve only just realized that Jopari has a fucking man-bun LMFAO OKAY

The fact that Jopari tried to get back to Will and Elaine but couldn’t will always hurt me

“And you chose these people over your family?” - I MEAN-

“I’ve thought about you every day.” - Awww

So John tells Will that he has to go to Asriel and bring him the knife, and he tells him all about the war that’s coming and I have LITERAL chills because I’m so ready

“And then we go home?” “... And then we go home.” - RIP MY HEART OUT, IT WOULD HURT LESS

“I’m not strong enough” - yes you are, Will! I promise you, you are! And Jopari says, “Both of us were brought here” - exactly! You were brought there for a reason by fate or whatever you want to call it!

“Your duty was to be my father” - WILL REALLY CAME FOR HIS DAD LIKE THAT I GUESS

“Look what you’ve become without me” - Oh my god, just when I thought I wasn’t going to cry again

JOPARI HUGGING WILL, SEEING THE SOLDIER AIMING, AND THEN PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN THEM SO HE TOOK THE BULLET INSTEAD OF WILL ASDFGHJKL;

So in the book, Jopari is killed by a scorned witch who had once asked him to be her lover, but he had turned her down (because of Elaine and Will obviously), and she kills Jopari in front of Will and then he kills her (I think?). But here it’s just a soldier leftover from the Lee vs Magisterium fight, so... yeah. Kind of a little peeved about the change personally but whatever I guess.

“The night is full of angels, they will guide you now” - AHHHHH

Also, might just be me, but maybe that line would have been slightly more impactful if the scene had taken place at night

This show really said “fuck healthy parental figures” I guess

Except Will’s mum, she’s the best and if anything were to happen to her we’d all riot

SAYAN KÖTÖR FADING AWAY NOOOO I HATE SEEING DÆMONS DIE

Okay, last little gripe, but I just wanted to say that in the book, Will doesn’t realize it’s his dad until literally the last second before his dad dies - like they both realize and then BAM, Jopari is killed. And while I do love the father-son reunion, I am kind of annoyed by the change because it was such a huge punch in the gut in the book that Will searches for so long for his dad, only to lose him the second he finds him.

Serafina finding Lee’s body and kissing his forehead was yet another punch in the gut, thanks Pullman/BBC/BadWolf

The fact that Will had to bury his dad :(

Also, WILL WEARING JOPARI’S JACKET OH MY GOD MY HEART

Oof that shot of his amputated fingers...

So the narration, when it started I thought it was Jopari at first, like from one of his letters... but then as it continued, I went “hang on”, and then I said outloud “wait, is that ASRIEL?!”

DID MARISA REALLY PUT LYRA IN A FUCKING TRUNK?!? BITCH ARE YOU OKAY?!?

Will putting his hood up like his dad did just hits differently

Okay so um ASRIEL HI I WASN’T EXPECTING TO SEE YOU THIS SEASON OH MY GOD THE SCREAM I LET OUT

HIS MONOLOGUE BY THE WAY IS FUCKING ART AND A MASTERPIECE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING OVER JAMES MCAVOY TO WRITE THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE DOWN

Oh, hi Stelmaria!

It always makes me scream that this man is not only Lord Asriel now but he’s also fucking Mr Tumnus and MOTHERFUCKING BILL DENBROUGH LIKE HOW IS THIS MAN INVOLVED IN SO MANY OF MY FANDOMS?!?

ANGELS ANGELS OH MY FUCKING GOD-

“We stand with you, Asriel Belacqua” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Let us prepare for war” - FUUUUUUUUCK

(I was deadly serious when I said this was just me screaming and crying by the way)

I’m still reeling over the fact that Marisa put her daughter in a fucking trunk. Like I get you can’t exactly carry a drugged child about in the open but Jesus Christ, love, really?!?

Also Ruth Wilson / Marisa Coulter in a headscarf? *chef kiss*

The way that the screen went to black as she put the lid on the trunk down - SHIT OH SHIT GOOSEBUMPS

THE CREDIT SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING ANGELS NOW I’M-

I WASN’T EXPECTING THE POST CREDITS SCENE OH MY GOD

ROGER?! ROGER! IT’S ROGER I’M NOT OKAY-

BBC YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON US LIKE THAT FUCK-

“What is this place?” - I’M SCREAMING SO LOUD I CAN’T HOLD IT IN

For anyone unaware, the reason I’m screaming so loud over the post-credits scene is because in TAS, while Lyra is drugged and in a groggy sleep, she has these visions of Roger talking to her from the Land of the Dead, which then later leads to her and Will actually GOING to the Land of the Dead and... well, the rest is even HUGER spoilers but YEAH I’M NOT OKAY.

Honestly, I’m just so happy and emotional because I’ve been waiting over a decade for a decent adaptation of not only NL but for TSK and TAS too, and we’re 2/3 there now. Just one more book/series to go... I wish we could have it now. I really hope that filming for the final one starts ASAP because if we have to wait two years just to see the conclusion to this series, I might cry.

This series is so amazing, and this season especially has been so incredible to watch. It’s been the highlight of my week for seven weeks, and I have no idea what I’ll do with my Sundays now that it’s over. I’ve asked for the DVD for S2 for my birthday already (since it comes out 29th December and my birthday is 13th January... just saying), and words can’t describe how much I do love this series. I know it sounds hollow since I say it about so many things I’m into, but this was such a huge part of my childhood and it’s one of my favourite fantasy series of all time. It’s truly one of the most incredible pieces of literature and now it’s making for incredible television... I love it so much.

#hdm #his dark materials #lyra belacqua #lyra silvertongue #marisa coulter #will parry #lee scoresby #hester #pantalaimon #jopari #john parry #lord asriel #serafina pekkala

262 notes · View notes

conscious-naivete · 3 years

Note

grian, scar, jimmy, bigb :] !!

Grian - Who's your favourite character?

ooh starting off w a tough one bc i have such obvious pov biases lol probably lizzie? she got around and had some fun with her different life colors and some drama and a cool alliance n aesthetic

Scar - Who's POVs did you watch?

my main povs were lizzie, grian, and etho/bdubs (who i put together bc they both lost episodes smh) i also started out watching scott n pearl but lapsed on them partway through

but when i had time i tried to catch up on some others so i’ve seen a few of ren & cleo’s, and most of mumbo & martyn’s

Jimmy SolidarityGaming - Favourite alliance?

southlands! i loved the trust exercise and their running jokes and the whole spyglass thing!

team best gets a big shoutout tho, for those matching shields n boots, and trying to be superheroes initially, and the tnt cannon drills, and their creative use of the life swap system, and who am i kidding, BEST is my favorite i literally have a blog tag for them

Bigb - Something you wished had happened but didn't?

mmm maybe i should wait til i’ve seen martyn’s last couple eps but i think it would’ve been neat to see the shadow alliance do smth big.

maybe if they’d held onto their wither skull for longer? i would’ve liked to see the distributed wither skull thing drawn out a bit more

actually what if the server was on hard mode kekw

ask game

#hi star :)))#ask game #asks #starsandfluff

3 notes · View notes

its-a-me-disaster · 4 years

Text

Soo, I did a thing. Based off this post with @justalittlebluetiefling

Some C1 spoilers, some C2 spoilers, definitely spoilers from EGTW, definitely tin foil hats. This is going to get long, so strap in folks.

So I’m basing most of my guesses off of Vestiges we know to be in Wildemount (i.e. the ones published in the official EGTW, not the ones that Matt made that are on the Wiki [though I would love to see Beau with the Wraps]).

What we know: we have actually seen one of the new vestiges already! The Wreath of the Prism was used by Arkahn to wrangle his Gloomstalker in the final arc in Thar Amphala. It was the collar thingy. For that reason, I’m guessing it won’t come up in the campaign again. Also, most vestiges are somewhat divine in nature, things that were created by or are in devotion to certain deities, but there are a few that are not (like the spell-swallowing Cabal’s Ruin). This is around the levels that Matt originally gave the vestiges to VM, so we might begin to see hints, especially if the Floating City is as evil as I assume (hope) it is. We also know that several Vestiges tend to be found in their awakened forms already. At these levels dormant vestiges won’t be particularly helpful for long, so I imagine that most of them will be found already awakened or perhaps exalted. Also, vestiges are not just found. Many are in the hands of current wielders and must be either Earned (Mythcarver) or Taken.

Danoth’s Visor: Personally, my favorite vestige that was released with EGTW. It gives Darkvision, and see through matter, and auto-succeed against illusions, and can cast anti magic field when exalted. It gives advantage on perception and investigation checks, and you can make it spyglass mode and double your vision. I think this makes perfect sense for our very special, expositor Beauregard. Making her even better at being an investigator/scout, and giving her a way to completely shut down magic users? Hell yes. Thematically it makes so much sense. Where could it be? This is actually one of few that would make sense for Aeor. It’s not divine based (which is a no-no for a city armed to kill gods), and it was crafted by a pre-Calamity tinkerer. I don’t think it’s in Aeor, partially because I think two others on this list is more likely, but also because it would make sense for it to be somewhere we’ve already been. My guess is it’s in the Happy Fun Ball. So much of that thing is undiscovered, and a secretive archmage would love something like this.

The Grimoire Infinitus: a very magical spellbook that has a whole list of spells preloaded and allows you to use Arcane Recovery multiple times per day, and prepare more spells (must be attuned by a wizard). Well, the only person who loves books more than Beau just happens to be the only wizard in the Nein. Of course Caleb would get this vestige, but where is it? Well, get ready for some serious tinfoil folks, because TRENT IKITHON has the grimoire. That’s right. Caleb gains a vestige by defeating his abuser? We love poetic cinema here. Why else would Trent be so powerful to that no other member of the Assembly has killed him off yet? Because he’s packing serious firepower.

The Infiltrator’s Key: a sneaky little key that gives advantage on stealth checks, lets you cast a whole bunch of spells, transforms into a returning dagger, and lets you open a doorway on any wall. Sounds perfect for our Best Detective, Veth Brenatto. It sounds good for Jester too, but she can already do most of the spells on her own, and has paints that she can make a door from. Veth gets a serious boost to her spell list, and can unattune from the Cloak of Elvenkind without losing anything (she would regain her stealth advantage with the key). But where is this skeleton key? Aeor. I’m betting the first vestige they find is the one that binds Veth to the group until the end of the campaign. It is not a divine vestige, agreeing to the stipulation mentioned earlier. It gives Veth a significant boost, because her subclass is a little underpowered in my opinion, and, she now has a reason to stay: Vestige Hunt.

Verminshroud: this might be my least favorite of the new vestiges, simply because it’s description weirds me out. It gives you a climbing speed, unarmed attacks (d6), resistance to poison, polymorph capabilities (limited to rat, scorpion, wasp) advantage on perception, and insect cloud. Who does that remind you of? I hope you said Caduceus, cause I’m giving this one to him. It fits his aesthetic very well, and gives him a little more utility. Plus, giving advantage on perception to the highest perception in the group? Only good things. This is probably the easiest to place by saying Blightshore. That’s where it was made, and probably resides. If I had to guess I would say it’s in that incredibly creepy tower that partially got sucked into Rumblecusp (go back and read some of the meta when they found it, now that was a rabbit hole).

Stormgirdle: now this is the second easiest one to place, partially because the Grimoire can only be used by one person. Strength buffs up to 25 (one lower than Grog) and a Storm Avatar ability that is sweet, Yasha gets to take home a cool new sub race, and an awesome Vestige-fueled power up. I really thought that this was going to be on Rumblecusp, so I have no idea where it might be. Theoretically, it could be anywhere, but I’ll give three guesses because I’m bummed it wasn’t on Rumblecusp (and this post isn’t long enough anyway). There’s a village in Eiselcross (but not near the ruins) filled with Orcs that revere the Storm Lord, so it could make sense. It’s worn by the Tribe Leader that Yasha fled from (so much drama, so much angst, I love it). Or, it’s at the Third Seal that we never saw for the old Snea Snake. I don’t think that one is likely, because the Nein could have encountered it WAY earlier then, but I think it would be cool to tie Fjord and Yasha’s arcs together again.

Hide of the Feral Guardian: this is one I think the debate could rage over. It’s studded leather blessed by Melora that really deals it’s best advantages to Druids. Up to +3 on attacks in any changed form (so polymorph or Beast Shape are the only ways), free polymorphs into specific animals, and up to +3 in AC. The reason this debate could rage is because thematically it makes a lot of sense for both Fjord and Cad. It definitely helps them both, but because the Verminshroud fits so nicely on Cad, I’m giving this one to Fjord. (Or, surprise 3rd option: they trade it to Keyleth who gives one of them the Spire of Conflux, which makes Fjord a BEAST, or Caduceus the most well-rounded out of all of them [severe damage from elemental spells, +healing, +utility/skills]) Fjord with this can ditch his mariners armor, which doesn’t buy him anything because of his Invocation anyway, and fully buy into his Paladin side. Fjord becomes the most well decked out, with Vestige Armor, Star Razor, and the whole Hexadin power jump that we’ll see in the next few levels. I think the location is pretty clear for this one. We haven’t seen it in any of the sanctuaries Cad brought us to, so it has to be in Molaesmyr. Similar to Fenthras, maybe a wielder of it ended up corrupting the Savalier Wood and is poisoning it. Fjord saves Cad’s home after Cad saves Fjord, and Fjord ends up with two extremely powerful items from Molaesmyr, excellent.

I know in this scenario Jester doesn’t get a Vestige, but there are more out there outside of Wildemount. Plus, Matt has shown through Rumblecusp that he still tinkers with his version of Wildemount and has plans that aren’t detailed in the EGTW. So maybe there’s a hidden vestige we don’t know about?

#critical role #cr #dnd #cr2 #vestiges of divergence #cr meta #Cr fan theory #tin foil hat #conspiracy theory: engage!#did I ignore an exam I have tomorrow to write this? yes #do I regret it? maybe a little #egtw

46 notes · View notes

nimium-amatrix-ingenii-sui · 5 years

Text

You know what I find extremely sexy about BBC HDM? The fact that they’re already incorporating information and elements from The Subtle Knife and The Amber Spyglass and even The Book of Dust, because they already have access to this information and they’re not wasting it.

I’m noticing (in particular) because this was one of the things that annoyed me about the Harry Potter movies (which I generally liked, but) -- the books were way ahead of the movies, so they could easily have introduced people like Cedric Diggory or Luna Lovegood, or phenomena like Portkeys, much sooner instead of more or less shoehorning them in once they became relevant to the plot. So many wasted chances. I understand why it was like that in the books because sometimes people or concepts only show up 20 chapters or even three books or whatever into writing and then you’ve already published stuff and it’s hard to go back. But the movies? They had access to so much future material and made barely any use of it.

So yeah, it’s so good to see a series do differently. That said, the visuals of HDM are also extremely satisfying; it feels a lot more real and lived-in than the streamlined steampunk aesthetics of the 2007 movie. And the intro sequence is a masterpiece. So far, I am well pleased.

#fangirl mode activated #his dark materials #the beeb #hdm spoilers #not really #(yet)#but just in case #my kind of aesthetic

358 notes · View notes

bard-llama · 4 years

Text

Know Thine Enemy (Iorveth/Roche) Part 2

Summary: Iorveth spends far too much time thinking about Roche's proposition and comes to a decision.

Read on AO3 | Read Part 1 on Tumblr

If you like my writing, consider donating to my ko-fi! I am writing gift fics for all donors.

Notes: Warning that this chapter includes a bit of a dubcon/noncon fantasy for a few paragraphs. It starts near the end of the chapter with "What if...what if Roche hadn’t let him go?" and ends at "Before he could think more about that..."

Elder Speech:

Dh’oine = Elder Speech for Human

Bloede = expletive along the lines of stupid/silly/fucking i.e. Bloede Dh’oine = Fucking Human

Aindeoin = taken from the Scottish Gaelic word for spite, a dh ’aindeoin, according to Google.

When Iorveth awoke from his little bender, his mouth tasted like feet, his head was pounding, and attempting to open his eye just led to sharp spikes of sunlight drilling into it.

Suddenly it was very easy to remember why he usually didn’t drink these days. Aside from his responsibility to his men, of course. But it had been a long time since he’d imbibed regularly and his tolerance reflected that. In other words, it was nonexistent. And he vaguely remembered drinking a lot.

Iorveth groaned piteously, and someone cleared their throat next to him and pressed a waterskin to his mouth. He drank greedily, not even bothering to open his eye. There were two people likely to take care of him, and Imadia would have said something scathing by now. That meant that the gentle hand that stroked over his hair belonged to Ciaran. He wasn’t wearing his bandana, which likely also meant that Ciaran had put him to bed and watched over him.

“Thank you,” he rasped after Ciaran took the waterskin away.

“What happened to set you off?”

“Ah.” Iorveth flushed, remembering exactly what had set him off. Or rather, who. But he couldn’t tell Ciaran that. “I was careless, got caught in a hunter’s trap,” he said instead, shame coloring his words as he thought back on the humiliating encounter.

“Oh.” Ciaran was silent for a long moment and Iorveth squinted his eye open. His friend had his lips pressed tightly together, clearly holding back laughter.

“Ugh,” Iorveth covered his face with his hands. “If you’re going to laugh, you owe me another drink. Maybe it’ll make this headache bearable.”

“You’re in luck,” Ciaran chuckled. “Imadia left you a tonic.” He uncorked something noxious smelling and helped Iorveth struggle upright. Iorveth braced himself – knowing Imadia, the tonic would work miracles, but likely taste like death. She liked to teach him lessons by doing things like that.

He was right. Swallowing the tonic down as quickly as possible did not stop him from wishing he could claw out his tongue. But, after a few minutes had passed, he did have to admit that he felt better. Well enough to venture out of bed, anyway.

“What did I do, anyway?” Iorveth asked, not truly sure he wanted to know. If he’d actually said something incriminating about Roche, Ciaran would have already brought it up.

“You told a lot of stories about what an amazing debater you are,” Ciaran said, threads of laughter still in his voice. “Apparently it was very important that we all know that you once defeated Filavandrel.”

“And I was right,” Iorveth couldn’t help pointing out. Filavandrel may be respected as a leader of elves in Dol Blathanna, but he was equally well known for his eloquence. Defeating him was a point of personal pride.

Not that those sorts of victories mattered anymore. But it was a good memory, one that brought a smile to his face.

“When you’re ready,” Ciaran said, rolling his eyes, “Sylvar had an idea he wants to run by you.”

“Oh?”

Ciaran nodded. “I’ll let him share the details, but I think it has merit, if we plan well. Striking outside of our usual territory will throw off those damn Blue Stripes, too.” He stepped over to the door and opened it for the young elf.

“Sir,” he nodded, a smirk curling the corner of his lips. Iorveth sighed. He should have know Kythaela’s insistence on calling him sir would spread.

“Tell me about your idea.”

Sylvar eagerly stepped forward, unrolling a map over his table. “I think we should hit the supply caravan to Ellander.”

Iorveth cocked his eyebrow. Ellander lay a short distance from the western edge of the Scoia’tael’s forest. The small city was home to a Temeria army base, three taverns, two whorehouses, and the Temple of Melitele, where priestesses tended to the wounded and weary. “Their supplies come overland, from Vizima.” Which was further to the west and would require them to circle around Ellander without the cover of the forest.

“Usually, yes sir. But apparently there was a recent landslide on the road from Vizima, so they’re sending supplies by ship, across the Yaruga. That means they have to come ashore not too far from our borders. We can hit them before they ever realize there’s anything to fear.”

“Hmm,” Iorveth hummed, thinking it over. They did need new supplies badly. And this time, he hoped the army sent their men better tasting rations. “When?”

“Our spies report that the ship should arrive in three days,” Ciaran answered. “That gives us three days to plan this carefully.”

Of course, it also meant three days for someone to leak their plans. Not that Iorveth thought any of his men were traitors, but Roche had his ways of getting information. Even if no one sold them out, they would probably encounter the Blue Stripes.

That was fine. He could plan for the Blue Stripes. He just wished he could plan for Roche outside of anticipating his attacks.

––

Iorveth spent the days leading up to their raid thinking about Roche. More specifically, thinking about how to defeat Roche. Except that naturally turned into thinking about how Roche could have killed him and didn’t, and that led to thinking about the way that Roche had talked about his ears and how his body had gotten...confused. He knew it was confusion because there was no way he could be feeling interest in the dh’oine.

He just – wanted to understand Roche, that was all. It had been a long time since he’d found a worthy debate opponent and Roche showed signs of having a not-disappointing intellect. His body had just confused his interest in knowing Roche for, well, for knowing Roche.

It didn’t help that Roche had propositioned him. He never would have even thought of Roche in that context if the other hadn’t started it. But now that his brain had gone there, he started thinking about it. And thinking about it meant that he desperately, desperately wanted to go on another bender until he could stop thinking.

But he had a responsibility to the Scoia’tael and he would not fail them. Even if it meant being stuck with thoughts of what a dh’oine – what Roche – might be like in bed.

If he accepted. Which of course, he never would. Their prior encounter had clearly been a fluke, a strange event that would never be replicated. The next time the met, Roche would probably pretend the whole thing had never happened.

Except to humiliate Iorveth, if he wanted to. After all, he didn’t know that Iorveth’s body had only been confused. But Roche couldn’t possible actually want him. Roche hunted nonhumans; his proposition had clearly been a mistake.

Which was what Iorveth wanted. Of course it was. There was no part of him that felt a little pleased to be the subject of desire for someone again. Not that he was without company when he craved it, but Aen Seidhe valued beauty and his was ruined.

The most common response he’d heard after he lost his eye was, “what a shame.” Iorveth had been considered quite beautiful once, but elves valued aesthetics, and even if Iorveth’s scar weren’t horrific and grotesque, the asymmetry of it would always be considered unpleasant to the eye.

It wasn’t so bad these days, around the Scoia’tael. They were all warriors, they understood scars. They were shameful necessities of the life they fought for.

Still, there was a reason very few people ever saw Iorveth without his bandana on. Even that couldn’t cover everything, but it hid the worst of it, the parts that made faces contort in disgust before people regained control of themselves. Ciaran and Imadia were the only two he trusted enough to see the true horror he was, and even they hadn’t been able to help reacting. He didn’t blame them – he couldn’t stand to look himself in the mirror either – but it was an important reminder. No one could ever want him, not truly.

But gods, it would be nice to actually be wanted, to be someone considered worthy of wooing or courting. Not that he had time for romance, nor would he ever want it with Roche of all people. But it would be nice.

“Almost time.” Ciaran’s voice startled him and again, Iorveth cursed himself for getting lost in thought.

“Wait for my signal,” he ordered. Ciaran handed him a spyglass and Iorveth did a quick check that his people were where they were supposed to be. Then he turned to small caravan below that was slowly loading supplies from the ship. They would wait until the caravan was fully loaded – all the easier to get away with the highest quantity of supplies – and their attack strategy was two-pronged. First, they had to lure out the Blue Stripes. Roche would likely have supplemented his crew with men from Ellander’s army base, so all of Iorveth’s people were here for this operation. If they failed, it would be a massacre.

But they wouldn’t fail. Because Iorveth knew Roche would be coming, knew Roche would attack them. Which meant he’d just needed to figure out how to outmaneuver one man instead of unpredictable guards.

It would almost be fun, if it weren’t for the stakes.

Iorveth signaled Maeral to take her five man squad to attack the boat, as if the supplies hadn’t already been unloaded. Their job was the most dangerous – bait for the Blue Stripes. It was likely more than one of them wouldn’t return, but he trusted Maeral with this command, trusted her to fight with everything she had to return home. She was one of his youngest commanders, but Iorveth hadn’t managed to win a chess match against her in half a decade. She understood tactics and strategy and she looked at the whole field in a way Iorveth had never been able to.

Maeral attacked, her squad engaging the guards around the makeshift dock. It took only a few long heartbeats of waiting before Roche did the expected – surrounded Maerel’s squad and announced his presence.

Now It was Iorveth’s turn. He had thirty soldiers surrounding the Blue Stripes and each had orders to keep the fighting as contained to the makeshift dock as possible. Then, while everyone was busy, Ciaran would take over the caravan with his squad and deliver it to Aindeoin. It was a good plan, and the butterflies in Iorveth’s stomach felt more like anticipation than nerves.

Nonetheless, he could admit that he was just a little bit worried about how his first meeting with Roche would go. What if the dh’oine brought up their last meeting? Iorveth clenched his fists and took a deep breath, pulling his mind back on task.

Then he gave the signal to attack and he leapt out of the tree, landing on a soldier and riding him to the ground. He jumped towards Roche, who caught his blade at the last minute, falling to one knee from the impact.

Iorveth licked his lips, already feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins in the way his heartbeat was thudding rapidly, the way all of his focus seemed to narrow down to Roche.

“How?” Roche demanded, “how did you know we would be lying in wait!?”

Iorveth smirked. “It’s you. Of course you’d be here.” Roche actually seemed taken aback by that. Iorveth should have used the opening to attack, but he felt like gloating. “Expected me to underestimate you?”

Roche’s mouth slowly twisted into a grin. “I should have known better.” He pushed forward off of his knee, thrusting his sword towards Iorveth’s face.

It was easy enough to bat the blade aside, and now they were truly fighting and Iorveth’s grin was probably just as feral as Roche’s.

“Guess those pointy ears are sharper than I thought,” Roche said and Iorveth almost stumbled on his next step. “And here I thought we’d managed to get intel past you.”

Nearby, Sylvar cut down his opponent and rounded on Roche. “You dare speak to our leader in such vulgar terms!?”

Iorveth could feel his ears growing hot as he flushed. Oh gods, could this get any worse?

Roche’s second in command, Ves, dove to intercept Sylvar while Roche just looked baffled.

“I didn’t even use a good insult,” he frowned, and the weight of his sword against Iorveth’s own shifted. Iorveth was ready to block, but Roche just seemed to be adjusting his grip. Iorveth’s men closed in around them, pushing the Blue Stripes back, away from where Ciaran was already making off with their haul.

Roche didn’t seem to recognize that, though, instead looking at Iorveth through narrowed eyes. “Didn’t know your ears could turn that red,” he said casually, as if such a statement weren’t wildly out of place on a battlefield.

Iorveth made a small noise, eyes wide and something unfamiliar coiling in his gut. Horror and humiliation, certainly, but there was also a part of him that was pleased that Roche apparently intended his proposition, that Roche wanted him.

All the elves in earshot let out near-simultaneous scandalized gasps that almost got them killed and Iorveth could feel his face flushing bright red. This was a disaster that he had not signed up to deal with today.

And even though his men had the advantage, even though they’d pushed the Blue Stripes back, nearly cornered them, Iorveth found himself giving the signal to fall back. He wasn’t running away – it was simply strategic to call for a retreat at this point.

The last thing he heard before he left the battlefield behind was Roche grumbling about pointy ears and confusing strategies.

Despite leaving the battle earlier than planned, they had managed to keep the Blue Stripes distracted for long enough for Ciaran and the caravan to make it into the forest.

Thank the gods for that, because Iorveth never would have forgiven himself otherwise. Though, he wasn’t sure it mattered whether he forgave himself, because he was already contemplating burying himself in the forest somewhere to never be seen again.

“The nerve of that whoreson!” Sylvar ranted far too loudly, exposing Iorveth’s humiliation to even more elves.

Rinn, his favorite little spy, smacked Sylvar over the head and held a finger up to her lips.

“She’s telling you to shut up,” Kythaela pointed out helpfully.

Actually, if Rinn chose to spoke, it would probably be a lot more impolite than that. But Iorveth was the only one she felt comfortable enough to speak around, except for Imadia on rare occasion.

Still, she was right. The last thing he wanted was for word to spread about Roche’s crude words. Iorveth could feel himself blushing just at the thought.

Sylvar grumbled the rest of the way back to Aindeoin, but he didn’t immediately start shouting about Iorveth’s humiliation, so that was something.

“Let’s get a drink,” Kythaela slipped her arm through Sylvar’s and bodily dragged him away. Iorveth smiled at the apologetic look she sent him and followed behind at a more sedate pace.

A short time later, as his Scoia’tael sat around the campfires – built in special stone pits to prevent the trees from catching alight – feasting and drinking, Iorveth found himself strangely unable to adjust to the mood. They had plentiful supplies now and had achieved a victory against the Blue Stripes with minimal losses. He should be as lighthearted and jovial as his brethren who chattered and laughed around him. But he couldn’t stop thinking about earlier’s humiliation, about the way he’d been propositioned in front of his men and the way he’d visibly reacted, bright red for anyone to see.

Instead of drowning himself in drink the way he had a few days before, Iorveth found himself slowly sipping wine as he stood on the outskirts of the feast, leaning against the tree trunk their dining hall was built into. He spotted Rinn sitting on a branch above the feast and smiled to himself. She always did prefer her own company over that of others.

He had been the one to find her, all those years ago. Iorveth had killed a group of dh’oine standing over the bodies of elves and only after the fact had he realized that one of the elves still lived.

Rinn had been completely mute at that point. She was strong willed and bounced back from tragedy fairly quickly, but her speech had not returned for years. And even now, she preferred silence, though he wasn’t sure how much of that was trouble speaking versus not wanting to bother. He wouldn’t be entirely surprised if it was the latter, but then, he sometimes wished he could avoid speaking.

Rinn noticed him watching and waved at him. Then, even though he was staring right at her, he wasn’t quite sure how she managed to disappear. It was a special talent of hers, to go unnoticed.

Originally, he hadn’t wanted her to join the Scoia’tael. She had been young when he found her, about a decade under the age of majority for an elf, and while Iorveth had trouble understanding how some people could choose not to fight, he did believe that their people deserved to grow up in peace. So he’d sent her to Vergen, the Dwarven city in Upper Aedirn where they sent all refugees who came to the Scoia’tael for help. It wasn’t a paradise, and dwarves and elves had longstanding differences, but it was still a better city than one run by humans.

Rinn had gone to Vergen. He’d sent her multiple times, in fact. But somehow, she kept popping back up in Aindeoin and Iorveth had never been able to figure out how. After the fourth time, he’d decided that if she was determined to be here, he would put those skills to use.

Of course, with her not speaking to anyone – including him, at the time, as she had still been learning hand signs, though she managed to get her will across quite well without using words at all – they’d had to get inventive on how she could communicate the intel that she picked up hanging around where no sensible person would.

He still didn’t know how she’d gotten inside Ellander’s army barracks, and admittedly, he didn’t know what he would do with the detailed sketch of the Blue Stripes’ cots, but hey, intel was intel. And there were times that a picture of the situation was much more useful than a verbal report. Such as when you realized that your enemies weren’t just comrades, but family.

It was in the way Rinn drew them sitting around the campfire together or sleeping in a huddle in the cold, never aware of their silent observer determinedly putting their likeness to paper. The Blue Stripes were so clearly more than just people who fought side by side. They cared about each other.

A realization like that one was valuable. It meant that the team had a weakness that could be exploited. If they cared about each other, then they could be used as leverage against each other.

Only Iorveth had immediately known it wouldn’t work. Because he knew Roche, even if he didn’t know the dh’oine, and Roche was like him. Roche was a man who would do what he had to, even if it destroyed him.

If Iorveth had shared what he’d seen in Rinn’s drawings with Ciaran, his second in command would want them to kidnap one of the commandos, to use them as a hostage.

But Roche would not let himself be controlled like that. If Iorveth tried, Roche would shoot him through his dh’oine comrade if he had to. Because Roche wasn’t a good man, just like Iorveth wasn’t. Both of them would sacrifice everything for their cause. It was just a shame their two causes were opposed.

So Iorveth had filed Rinn’s sketches of the Blue Stripes away without ever sharing what he’d seen. It wasn’t a realization anyone else was likely to make. Aside from Rinn and a few other choice spies, Iorveth’s men only ever saw the Blue Stripes in the midst of battle. And while the Blue Stripes watched each other’s backs, they were professionals.

But Iorveth had spies for a reason. It was his job to learn everything he could about his enemies. It was also his job to use that intel, but the truth was, he was scared of what might happen if he did. He didn’t want his fight with Roche to turn into a fight of whose morals could sink lower.

Iorveth was scared because he knew he would do it. When backed into a corner, there was very little he wouldn’t do for the Scoia’tael, for the cause of a free elven state. He wasn’t sure there was a limit to the depths he would sink to. He already knew that he would sacrifice his people if he had to – that’s what it meant to order his men to play bait – and he had once believed that he would never kill another elf.

Iorveth laughed bitterly to himself. Once upon a time, he’d genuinely thought he’d never resort to violence.

How the mighty have fallen, those he once knew might have said. But he was still alive while they lay dead, their ideals small defense in the face of human hatred, so he rather thought his position spoke for itself.

That was how most recruits came to the Scoia’tael – because someone they knew had finally been beaten beyond what they could take, and they were tired and scared of the dh’oine mobs that came with their pitchforks and swords and left the land running red with blood.

Iorveth glanced around the dining hall, noting the scars and injuries on his comrades, all caused by dh’oine. There wasn’t a Scoia’tael without a scar, wasn’t a one of them who hadn’t been damaged by the dh’oine and their hatred.

Some more so than others. That had been how he’d first heard of Sylvar – the entire camp had been gossiping about how someone actually had worse scars than Iorveth. Not to his face, of course. But near enough that Iorveth had easily heard.

Few elves had even seen how bad his scars truly were, but Iorveth had to admit that they were still right – Sylvar’s were worse. There was scarcely any skin that wasn’t distorted from the burn scars that covered most of his body.

Dh’oine had been responsible, of course. Sylvar and his mother had lived peacefully in Ellander, more or less avoiding trouble with dh’oine. Until the day a mob broke into their house, beat Sylvar half to death, and burned the building to the ground.

Sylvar had been lucky. He’d escaped. Barely.

His mother hadn’t been so fortunate. But then, Iorveth reflected, most of the younger elves had joined the Scoia’tael because they wanted vengeance against the dh’oine who had killed their parents.

Or used them. Taredd’s parents had been better off living under human rule than most. As affluent traders, money opened what doors their race barred. But dh’oine greed was a constant, and eventually, they decided they didn’t want elves to be prosperous. And if they got rid of the elves, well, then there was all that coin, just for the taking.

Iorveth always thought his hatred of humanity couldn’t get any deeper, but every time a new child – because they were children, not yet even a century of life! – joined the Scoia’tael, it burned that much brighter.

He tried to remind himself that there were good dh’oine out there. Supposedly.

The problem was, the only example he could think of was Vernon Roche, and he could hardly be called good when he had so much blood on his hands.

But then, so did Iorveth.

Perhaps that was why he wished he could have a conversation with Roche. They were, in many ways, very similar, and yet so very, very different. Such contrast practically guaranteed an interesting debate.

If it were possible to just – not set aside, because the racism elves faced could never just be set aside, but if they could meet without trying to kill each other. To just talk. Well, probably fight, but verbal fighting, the kind Iorveth used to have mastered, the kind that had once been the only kind of fighting he’d done.

That had been a long time ago now.

He didn’t regret doing what he had to. But he was just so tired. Iorveth wished there were somewhere he could go where he could leave the fighting at the door. Somewhere where he could talk to Roche and receive an answer rather than an attack.

Except Roche hadn’t attacked him that day in the forest. The dh’oine had threatened him, certainly, but even after Iorveth had been released, Roche had made no move towards his sword. Iorveth himself had been the one to attack, even if it had been a pathetic attempt. His embarrassment had been too overwhelming at the time, but now, now he wondered if Roche choosing not to attack was as much of an offer as his crass remarks.

Maybe...maybe it would be worth taking him up on it? Just for a conversation, not for sex. Iorveth had no interest in sex with a dh’oine.

So why had being helpless in Roche’s grasp made him hot and squirmy that day in the forest? Why had his ears flushed so red and why had his cock reacted when Roche had dragged his dagger ever so delicately over his throat?

Iorveth shivered and cleared his throat. He really shouldn’t be thinking about the way his confused body had reacted. Was reacting.

He shifted uncomfortably, dearly grateful that his gambeson and mail hid the exact way his body was reacting. His body was obviously still confused, because there was nothing that he should find appealing about being helpless under Roche’s blade.

Iorveth swallowed and bit his lip. Perhaps he should take this line of thinking somewhere more private, just in case his body continued to get the wrong idea.

Or, part of his mind whispered, he could stay here. There was no need to draw attention to himself by leaving early and that little curl of humiliation in his belly at the idea that someone could find out made him shift and clench around nothing. It was uncomfortably good, the way the shame and lust and general confusion Roche inspired fizzled together in his stomach and made him sensitive.

Iorveth focused on breathing evenly even as every shift of his weight and every squeeze of his thighs sent shivers of pleasure through his body. His hose was soaked with wetness from his cunt and Iorveth bit his lip, feeling his cock twitch at the twinge of pain.

What would sex with a dh’oine like Roche even be like? Iorveth couldn’t see it being gentle, but he liked a little bit of roughness himself. And thinking back on their encounter in the woods when Iorveth had been caught – Roche had been pretty good at taking charge, too. Iorveth hadn’t been aware that he was interested in that, but something about Roche standing over him, holding Iorveth’s own knife to his throat…

Iorveth shuddered, then cleared his throat and looked around wildly to make sure no one noticed.

What if...what if Roche hadn’t let him go? What if the Blue Stripes commander had kept that knife pressed against the hollow of Iorveth’s collarbone? Iorveth licked his lips, imagining what might have happened if Vernon Roche were an entirely different kind of man. The kind of man who would force Iorveth’s mouth open and slide his cock inside.

What would he taste like? Humans were warmer than elves in general, and their cocks looked so strange in comparison. What would it feel like on his tongue? In the back of his throat? Inside him?

Before it could escape his lips, Iorveth swallowed the saliva pooling in his mouth just from the thought of being filled with a cock and chased it down with a gulp of wine for good measure.

Roche could have done anything to him with Iorveth tied up and hanging like that, and Iorveth found himself wishing that Roche had, that he’d cupped Iorveth through his hose, maybe ripped it open to slip fingers inside his cunt while Iorveth sucked desperately. The smell of Roche would overwhelm him like that and for the first time, Iorveth wanted that, wanted a dh’oine’s scent to cover him.

Before he could think more about that, Ciaran broke away from a group of young elves and approached him. Iorveth hastily swallowed more wine, trying to pull himself together.

“Iorveth,” Ciaran called, reaching out to clap Iorveth on the shoulder. There was no part of Iorveth that wondered how differently Roche’s hand would feel. “Are you okay? Sylvar mentioned that that bloede dh’oine was crude and vile, as dh’oine so often are.”

Iorveth barely noticed the disgust pulling at Ciaran’s face, instead thinking about exactly how crude and vile Roche had been, talking about his ears in front of his men. Roche had seemed quite fixated on his ears, actually, and he wondered what the dh’oine’s rough hands would feel like against him. What would it feel like to have the dh’oine hot and solid on his tongue while Roche stroked his ears? Gods, Iorveth wouldn’t even need to be touched further; he could come just like that.

He was coming just like that, Iorveth realized with a stifled gasp, biting down hard on his tongue to hold back any noises and focusing all his being on not showing it. As he utterly ruined his hose, Iorveth was forced to lean his weight into the tree behind him lest his trembling legs collapse under him.

It shouldn’t have felt as good as it did.

Ciaran frowned at him. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to embarrass you. I just wanted to check and make sure you were okay. The dh’oine didn’t try anything, did he?”

It took all of Iorveth’s concentration to form words. “No,” he rasped. More’s the pity.

Gods, his face and ears must be terribly red from the way Ciaran was looking at him and a curl of shame twisted through his pleasure. Instead of detracting from the his enjoyment, it made the sensation more, and Iorveth could feel the way his shoulders loosened, the slight headache that he hadn’t even noticed dissipating.

“Good,” Ciaran said. “And I’m sorry that happened. I hope you know it’s not a reflection on you – we all know dh’oine are horny for anything that moves.”

“Mmm,” Iorveth managed a small reassuring smile and Ciaran seemed to accept it, raising his glass in a quick salute and then heading back into the thick of the festivities.

Iorveth chewed on Ciaran’s comment for a moment, wondering why it bothered him. It was true, dh’oine would fuck literally anything.

But Roche didn’t want anything. He’d propositioned Iorveth. Roche hadn’t commented on anyone else’s ears or dragged a knife slowly down anyone else’s throat or – well, really, Roche hadn’t paid much attention to anyone else at all, had he?

Iorveth bit his lip as something warm swelled in his chest. Maybe...maybe he should accept Roche’s offer.

What was the worst that could happen?

Coda: Iorveth and the Dragon

Here, Rinn signed as she stepped into Iorveth’s office. She dropped a sketch on his desk, but unlike her usual reports, this scene was clearly not from reality. In fact, it appeared to be–

“A dragon?” A smile pulled at Iorveth’s lips. Unlike dh’oine, elves saw dragons as the beautiful creatures they were. There had never been elven dragon hunters.

It’s you, Rinn grinned. See, he’s wearing your bandana!

Indeed, the detailed charcoal dragon did appear to be wearing a bandana. Looking closer, Iorveth could even see the edge of a scar going down the dragon’s snout. The dragon’s wings were spread in a silhouette that reminded Iorveth of his compound bow.

“It’s amazing,” Iorveth whispered, eyes roving across the sketch to take in all the details. “Why a dragon?”

Rinn shrugged. Dragons are cool.

Well, he couldn’t argue with that.

“Thank you,” he smiled widely at her. “I will treasure it.”

Rinn beamed at him before turning and jumping out the window. Considering his office was the highest point in Aindeoin, the way she easily jumped from branch to branch until vanishing from sight was quite impressive.

But not as impressive as Dragon Iorveth. He wondered if he could get it framed.

––

Years later, after Iorveth discovered Saskia’s true form, he showed her the picture Rinn had drawn him. She was impressed by how detailed the dragon was and praised Rinn’s skill.

That had been the moment Iorveth had decided to follow her.

#iorveth/roche #iorveth #vernon roche #the witcher #the witcher 2 #my fics #fic #writing #enemies to lovers #iorveth vernon roche

13 notes · View notes

listenallyehpeople · 3 years

Text

Books I Read in 2020

I don't know if anyone's interested, but inspired by other blogs sharing their reading achievements from 2020, I decided to pick up the trend and tell you about mine. The books with only their backs visible hold the place of books I borrowed this year and no longer have at home.

Hermann Hesse: Demian (German version)

Lewis Carroll: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Adam Silvera: They Both Die at the End

Neil Gaiman: Neverwhere

Roald Dahl: James and the Giant Peach (for a English project)

J.R. Johansson: Paranoia

V. E. Schwab: Vengeful (the Sequel to Vicious)

Ray Bradbury: Fahrenheit 451

Alexandra Bracken: Never Fade (the 2nd book in the The Darkest Minds-series)

Karen McManus: Two Can Keep a Secret

Stefan Merrill Block: The Story of Forgetting

Nick Hornby: A Long Way Down

Jack Kerouac: On the Road

Patrick Süskind: Das Parfum (German version of Perfume)

Lemony Snicket: The Wide Window

Cassandra Clare: City of Bones

Otfried Preußler: Krabat (German version)

Matt Haig: How to Stop Time - 6th place of my favourites this year, highly recommend

Thomas Glavinic: Der Kameramörder (German version)

Donna Tartt: The Secret History - 3rd place of my favourites, i'm ready for more Dark Academia, absolutely love the aesthetic

Sarah Pinborough: 13 Minutes

Thomas Glavinic: Wie man leben soll (German version)

George R.R. Martin: A Storm of Swords (ASoIaF book 3)

Shirley Jackson: The Haunting of Hill House

Brandon Sanderson: Alcatraz Vs the Evil Librarians

Brandon Sanderson: AVtEL The Scrivener's Bones

Philip Pullman: Northern Lights (first in His Dark Materials-trilogy) - the whole trilogy has a special place in my heart, hence 2nd Favourite Book of the year, i also love the cover

Brandon Sanderson: AVtEL The Knights of Crystallia

Brandon Sanderson: AVtEL The Shattered Lens

Brandon Sanderson: AVtEL The Dark Talent

Christina Henry: The Girl in Red

Linda Grant: The Clothes on Their Backs

Philip Pullman: The Subtle Knife (HDM book 2)

Maggie Stiefvater: Call down the Hawk

Kerri Maniscalco: Stalking Jack the Ripper

Becky Albertalli & Adam Silvera: What If It's Us

Ciara Smyth: The Falling in Love Montage

Audrey Niffenegger: The Time Traveler's Wife - an all-time-favourite and book 1 of the favourites of 2020, it broke my heart and i cried my eyes out and i don't think i'll ever recover; the movie also made me cry even though the book is a hundred times better

Ocean Vuong: On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous - 5th place of my favs, i fell in love with the writing and i'm planning on getting poetry books by the author

John Green: Looking for Alaska

Franz Kafka: Die Verwandlung (German version of Metamorphosis, read it for German class)

Frau Meier: Biss Einer Weint (German Version, a parody of the Twilight-series)

Shlomo Graber: Der Junge, der nicht hassen wollte (German version, a man tells his story of surving three concentration camps, including Auschwitz)

Jennifer Niven: All the Bright Places - 4th favourite book of 2020, it was as heartbreaking as everyone foretold, and suffering from Bipolar Disorder myself, it hit home quite hard; heavy trigger warning, though

Bertolt Brecht: Der gute Mensch von Sezuan (German version, also read for German class)

Philip Pullman: The Amber Spyglass (HDM book 3) - i was so glad when i found out there are sequels to the trilogy, i thought this was the end

Maybe I'm also going to create a TBR-list for 2021. Happy New Reading Year, everyone! :)

#books!#books!!#books!!!#favourite books #books 2020 #reading #bookish #book tips #recommendations #reading year

5 notes · View notes

birdofprey1234 · 4 years

Text

THIS IS SUCH A GOOD ASK AAAAA!!!!! ILY AND TY!! Also hold onto your hat because IM BOUT TO GO OFF ON A DAMMMNN TANGENT!!! Hands down my fave character design/costume is the Colonel’s (pretty sure this is a surprise to no one). The costume is so fucking good bc it literally tells you everything you need to know about the Colonel JUST by looking at him, which is an actual thing in character design for animation etc.

The safari hunter uniform: I thought he looked like a safari hunter the instant I saw him and i didn't even know wtf they looked like, so good design. Also they draw parallels in-dialogue to the guy from Jumanji which is smart bc I’m pretty sure that’s a lot of peoples only idea of what a safari hunter is. It’s also a very outdated looking uniform in general, and gives us the indication that this is not present day. The badges: immediately indicate he has some sort of army affiliation/is some sort of soldier The glasses: Round spectacles w all the little spyglass lenses on the side, they serve 3 purposes; they’re an older style and no one rlly wears em anymore, they give him a sort of nutty-professor look, and they also give something to hide his eyes THE HAT: !!!! OH MY GOD THE HAT!!!!! PIECE-DE-RESISTANCE!!! It is an old thing no one wears anymore, it brings us back to the safari-hunter aesthetic, but ALSO the hat fits so low on his head and is big enough that it casts a constant shadow over his eyeline/face in almost every shot he's in. This, paired with the glasses, really obscures his face in shadows, which is PERFECT because someones eyes/expression are a good indicator of what they’re thinking, and a big part of the Colonel as a character is him having unclear intentions, he is framed as very suspicious The scarf: It gives us a bit more of that hiding-his-body/neck (Most of his body is covered in clothing actually, which adds to the sort of “mysterious” element) but also, red in colour theory = passion, drama, strength, anger, general extreme emotions, which the colonel has all of in bulk (also linked to romance/sexuality/lust AHEMHEMHM-) Also, it's just good colour theory because the whole outfit is sort of drab beige's and browns and then BAM! splash of red under his neck which subtly draws your attention toward his face The mustache: obviously he has it because he is the precursor the Warfstache, but it also serves the purpose of obscuring more of his face/expression, its a bit of an outdated facial-hair style, and it accentuates the scruff which makes him look all around a little grubby and unkempt. Another big part of his character is being pretty rough around the edges, “eccentric” as Damien puts it. THEN, the entire design has STORY ELEMENT USE! Throughout all of WKM, as I’ve said, the Colonel is framed as very suspicious. He’s a loose cannon who does a pretty bad job at making himself look redeemable, and seems to hate Actor more than anybody else. Throughout the story his entire get-up is on, save for 2 instances. The first being in the party scene in WKM part 1, We see his face tottaly un-obscured, gun pointed to his own head. We don’t know much about the Colonel’s character but like, but there is a lot of speculation that he’s not exactly the happiest person in the world, so this may be alluding to that? Though, his eyes are still closed and he is probably uproariously drunk and sort of lost his inhibitions, so... take this how you will.

The second and more meaningful time is at the end, when the DA wakes up, not exactly KNOWING what’s going on, but knowing that Actor has had some shit to do with what happened. Then, we see the colonel:

No more hat, no more big body-covering jacket, his face is un-obscured and we can finally see his eyes clearly. Also he has his pants and signature splash of red in the suspenders (which the snaps are also more outdated-looking) so it doesn’t look completely unlike him. The scene continues, and in it, the viewer figures out that the Colonel DIDN’T have anything to do with the murder, and in fact has just had a few extremely traumatic events happen to him while being (almost) an innocent bystander. Also, if the viewer picks up on the parallels between his under-clothes and Warfstache’s outfit (he looks more like Warfstache than in any other scene here) they may realize as well that he IS Warfstache. So basically, as SOON as the viewer understands the Colonel/his intentions and story, his face is un-obscured, and we are able to see him for who he truly is. absolutely ACESSS visual storytelling. GOD that’s good shit.

So...y..yeah I rlly like the colonels design, I rlly rlly love the 1920s aesthetic anyways so that rlly adds to it.

As for who’s most fun to draw I’d say warfstache based on how much I’ve drawn him in proportion to the others’. I’m not really sure why? I love his colour scheme a lot and I think his mannerisms are rlly fun to put into art. Also the mustache is cute and i love drawing it.

#birdsmail #birdtalks #long post cw #wkm colonel #markiplier egos

130 notes · View notes

kyrie-silverwings · 4 years

Text

Get to Know Me!

Rules: Always post the rules. Tag 11 new people you’d like to know better.

1. Dogs or Cats?

Cats! I love both honestly, but I had a cat for 14 years who was a constant companion through high school and college. My dad has a few dogs, all of whom are lovable fluff nuggets.

2. YouTube celebrities or normal celebrities?

I guess a little of both. I’m not really into celebrities, but I have a few followings. My interest stays casual since I’m not too invested I guess.

3. If you could live anywhere where would that be?

The running joke is Iceland. XD I like quiet, out-of-the-way places, but I haven’t had a chance to travel out of the States yet!

4. Disney or DreamWorks?

Ahhh, I’m way more into DreamWorks for their animated movie aesthetics, but I do hold some Disney movies as personal favorites as well! Prince of Egypt is my favorite on the DW side, with Road to El Dorado as a close (very close!) second.

5. Favourite childhood TV show?

It’s gonna be Sailor Moon. I was rewatching the first series a few years ago, and would really like to finish the old series. I watched Crystal up to the second season before picking up Demon Slayer. Didn’t care too much for it but I hear it’s good in the third season!

6. The movie you’re looking forward to most in 2020?

Let’s see... Looking ahead, there’s going to be a new Wonder Woman movie, an adaption of Artemis Fowl (!!), Black Widow, Kingsman 3, and hehe, the new Spongebob movie. XD I’m not much of a movie-goer, but my bf will probably want to see some of those too!

7. Favourite book you read in 2019?

Since the TV series of His Dark Materials is coming out, I went and reread the trilogy, which was already one of my favorite book series. Still on The Amber Spyglass!

8. Marvel or DC?

Haha, I like both! But, I’m a giant casual who just sticks to the Marvel movies and some DC movies & their animated series.

9. If you choose Marvel favourite member of the X-Men? If you choose DC favourite Justice League member?

Most of my Justice league memories consist of the 2001-2004 animated series, so going from that, Green Lantern was my favorite then! Icouldn’t give you a favorite X-men character though, I’m really out of the loop on that one.

10. Night or Day?

Day time, but only because I’m blind as a bat...

11. Favourite Pokemon?

Grass type master race!!! I have more, but I would just be spamming pictures at that point lol

12. Top 5 bands:

Nightwish, Within Temptation, Eivør (not a band, but meh), Blackmore’s Night, and Rhapsody. I’m a slow creeper on music. It takes me AGES to find something new, but when I like it, it sticks.

13. Top 10 books.

The Golden Compass (+ series), The View from the Mirror (series), The Lord of the Rings (series), Sabriel (+ series), Watership Down, The Count of Monte Cristo, 1984... Ehhh, it kinda peters out there. I have a lot that I’ve read, but these were the influencing series or books I read.

14. Top 4 movies

Going to be a lot of series again, includes Star Wars (4-6, 1-3), Lord of the Rings, The Fifth Element, and Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind.

15. America or Europe?

Like I said, never visited outside the States, so I can’t rightly answer, but Europe is home to many things I love or enjoy. I like the little patch I live in right now, and once I get some cash saved up, I want to go exploring finally.

16. Tumblr or Twitter?

A bargain bin blogging site vs a literal dumpster fire? Both have their perks, but I like Tumblr’s organization a bit more. I have both!

17. Pro-choice or Pro-life?

Pro choice

18. Favourite YouTuber?

As stated above, kinda meh when it comes to watching YouTube content. I’m usually hovering over whatever my bf watches, since my stuff is largely just music.

19. Favourite author ?

This is too tough to answer. Each author I pick up, I typically focus on one series and forget to read other works. Also, I value different writing styles and themes...If I tried to single out a favorite author, it would be because of a specific series.

20. Tea or Coffee?

C O F F E E

21. OTP ?

I guess my favorite pairing of anything is still Link and Midna (shrugs). Little twilight gremlin is the best!

22. Do you play an instrument/sing ?

I used to sing in a church choir, but quit due to work and school scheduling. It would be nice to do again, since I never practiced an instrument.

Tagged by:@lareine-kira, @resistance-ranger, @umbralich, and @mai-takeda!

Tagging: @under-the-blood-moonlight, @lillies-n-lilacs, @kael-haustefort-xiv (I doom you all bwahaha), @kazexvoss, @spotofmummery, @lordsnark, @jorandalkitor, @athanasia-istolla, @captainkurosolaire, @vylette-elakha, @thorcatte! It’s a long one...but enjoy! >:D

#taggies #ooc #get to know the mun #or DON'T #AHAAAAA

17 notes · View notes

whoslaurapalmer · 4 years

Text

alright guess who’s rolling in a smooth fifteen and a half years late with some 2004 movie takes because I just rewatched it

i mean we’ve all seen the 2004 movie none of the following words are going to be new or anything but it gave me something to do

-for the record, the last time I watched this was…..2016 or earlier???? I would put it on in the background sometimes because it was the only snicket media content available -but as referenced in my backstory post, I did indeed see it in 2004. -i BEGGED my parents to take me to see it. they did not. -we were out to a late lunch/early dinner right after it came out, and I kept grabbing my mom’s watch and telling her how far away we were from the next showing and since the restaurant was so close to the movie theater that we could definitely make it in time. -we still did not go. -but, as per the post, one of my best friends had a birthday party where we all went to the movies to see it. -probably because our librarian had read us the bad beginning, but my class was SUPER into the series. there was one kid who wrote all his creative writing assignments in lemony’s style. -i wonder if he’s still into the series……..

-you know all this time later I still don’t know how I feel about the littlest elf. how do people feel about the littlest elf?? like props for pulling an unauto reference but……...littlest elf -but I did just notice one of the elves is holding a SHOTGUN

-okay the feel to this though. like…..god the aesthetic is so good in this movie -the gears and the clocktower and the fog and that beach and just…….fuck -oh no my mind is spinning. like I know this isn’t the reason but those trees poking out of the water is just giving me massive ‘clusterous forest after it presumably flooded’ vibes -i think the movie, for all it fails re: most of the emotions, really gives a sense of emptiness and loneliness though, the city and the landscape feel small and contained -i like jude law’s voice and I like what they did with lemony in this movie but I love and will always love patrick warburton. -the spyglass doesn’t work here either because it never got the chance to pan out because there was only one movie and it’s still too early and forcing it right away because there’s no timeeeeeee

-i like jim carrey a lot better when he’s not being, jim carrey -you know what I mean???? -like he’s so good in eternal sunshine, I love eternal sunshine -like I like nph a lot as olaf but I also feel…..it’s very nph. like I don’t look at carrey’s olaf and think ‘that’s 100% olaf’ but I don’t look at nph’s olaf and think ‘that’s 100% olaf’ EITHER there’s something still very much of the actor about both their interpretations as if they both leaned too much into the absurdity that was in olaf (carrey acting for the troupe and like 80% of his mannerisms in the movie, nph in slippery slope and the musical numbers) but not hard enough into what made olaf olaf -idk -i think they both had really good menacing!olaf moments though – nph in hostile hospital, carrey threatening violet at the end, those are ones that still really stand out to me, and that’s really important to olaf’s character, he was a villain and he wasn’t always that smart but he was capable of such cruelty just as much as absurdity -but not enough for me to look at either and say ‘that hit everything I wanted someone to hit in olaf’ -and it’s not even a matter of them downplaying the cruelty to hit you with it later for mood whiplash or anything, there wasn’t enough of all the parts of olaf to give that whiplash

-i have nothing to say about the troupe I just don’t even want to go there

-i’m getting ahead of myself here in the movie but like, we all know that klaus takes a lot of violet’s moments in this movie, especially her biggest one in the marvelous marriage climax, and thinking about that makes me mad about all the netflix moments in s3 where klaus did more than violet too, and now I’m like, really incredulous that that happened in netflix too

-the lil fort scene has always stuck in my mind ever since I was a kid

-weird props to the movie for having their names on the custody document as ‘sunny, klaus, and violet’

-‘last chance superette’ okay well that’s something

-the car and the train has also been something that stuck with me a lot -like…….i actually really like this scene a lot and I’m trying to, explain why -it’s a really scary scene!! there’s a lot of tension and I appreciate that a lot!! it’s not canon but it’s remarkably well done and I think it honestly fits really well, it’s something olaf would do, and the fact that poe is upset because sunny was driving and not that olaf wanted to kill them, that’s, at least there’s that -(i really like the books pulling out when klaus remembers something too) -like I really don’t know why but I like it framed like this. I LIKE the movie framed like this. that they get taken away from olaf so quickly by something so absurd that isn’t why they should be taken away but wind up in his hands again at the end and then they get away again and typing it out makes it sound so….repetitive and stupid and like it doesn’t make sense but idk. idk!!!! there is something about it I like -like repetitive for the movie, because it’s, contained as itself as one movie, but, maybe a little close to the books -hmmmmm -still can’t word this right -i guess just, in terms of the movie!canon, it was styled well, for how the movie was structured -(of course it falls apart when klaus has to do violet’s stuff at the end of the movie that just fucks it all up. but right here. I did like it.)

-the movie’s “there’s always something” vs netflix’s “i’m gonna fix this”……….both are good

-monty brought the strongest vfd vibes in this movie didn’t he re: spyglass, lost his wife in a fire, violet remembering the song monty sings -i’ve said this before and this is completely unrelated but I don’t think going to peru was intended as a vfd recruiting thing -oh no wait this is very related, here??? in the movie???? “we’ll be among people who understand us” who value clever children or whatever, oh yeah movie!monty was gonna do it -(i need to think more about monty re: vfd and his experiences because, there’s a lot of possibilities here, honestly, and I think because we don’t see monty in atwq and he’s so early in the series proper that I don’t consider him in vfd and what that meant for him as much as I should)

-both versions of like the physical reptile room inspire such adventure and excitement……….i love that….those big windows and all the reptiles…….

-the sanctuary theme would be better in a different movie because like, the series isn’t about ‘sanctuary’ per se -it’s about something close to that but not ‘sanctuary’ for sure, like that’s such a weak, barely skimming the surface reading of the themes

-you know???? netflix!gustav was good. -like I don’t want to just compare the movie to the netflix show the whole time you know because they ARE separate entities although based on the same source and just have completely different takes and for both some of those takes were good and some of them were bad, but I never did like that image of gustav -i did like the dart in netflix though. a one good moment…. -(it’s also hard to compare them because 1-3 is all we got with the movie and 1-4 were some of the only books solidly done by netflix)

-klaus saying “everything happens for a reason” that’s never been a favorite saying of mine

-“it is a curious thing, the death of a loved one” is a line that’s pained me so much the older I’ve gotten and I care about it a lot because it’s so true, and I think it works better as narration than josephine saying it (I thought it was out of character for her to say it in netflix actually) BUT I ALSO get so pissed that the movie leaves out “as your mind tries to adjust to the way things are now” or however the rest of the quote goes

-reptile room in netflix after monty dies though is real top-notch and I love it a lot, this one is just, it’s decent but it’s rushed -i could say that about the whole movie, it’s decent but it’s rushed -the thing about the movie though is that like. it hits the major overall notes of the plot of each book just in a very quick and short and therefore low-key manner and because it’s a movie and an hour 48 minutes and they have to rush so netflix, spacing it out in two episodes, had more time and could do it better -and yet. at the same time. -we all know that one of my top complaints about the netflix show is that they too rushed a lot of scenes that I think should have been slower, that were slower in the books -and it’s not like I think the movie did a better job. because the movie fails in a lot of ways, and doesn’t go anywhere into the trauma or any of the real sadness -and even though it fails like that and cuts so much short. there are moments where I think it works better -and I’m trying to tell myself this isn’t just because I’m still living the ‘incredibly outraged at netflix even now, especially lately’ life and I’m not just picking one over the other because I don’t want to -and I’m trying to think of a moment more than just the letter at the end that the movie gave time to the kids to feel something and I can’t (and I can’t count the letter because it’s, the letter) but -i do think the movie let things stretch for even a second longer -it could be the aesthetic because I love the aesthetic of the movie a lot -i don’t know I think….both of them have strengths, netflix had more time but the movie hit a closer aesthetic, at least to me -and netflix didn’t USE that time, is what I’m getting at, and somehow the movie had just a tinier bit more time even though it was shorter, but that probably is just because, the aesthetic, I am a sucker for it -i think this part has something to do with my feelings about netflix’s vfd subplot, that’s probably, where this is coming from, and sometimes I think the clothing and the scenery in the netflix show especially in s1 was very colorful which is fine really that’s such a petty thing to dislike

-“doesn’t it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us?” is still top notch

-although josephine has the pictures I still think monty does have the stronger vfd vibes. -i love the way that window curtain opens!! fucking terrifying!!!!! -i think of jane lynch turning around and saying “is this a bad time?” even now that’s still hilarious

-okay this is it. -this is really truly the one thing the movie did better than the netflix show, and a lot of people feel the same way about this -hurricane herman. -(it was so…….kidsy and kind of charming in the show. and even in the books it wasn’t charming. it was a lot shorter, but not charming.) -like this is legitimately terrifying and how all josephine’s fears come true is one of the most PERFECT things -don’t TEMPT me by saying “[ike] was investigating fires” because I don’t have the time to have ike thoughts right now because that almost lines up with a wip I have, so fuck you -(when I fell asleep to this movie the other day I thought to myself ‘gee hope I don’t wake up during the hurricane scene’ I did in fact wake up then and had to turn the volume down.)

-i think when it was 2004 and I was watching this in the theater I did not watch the leeches, ten year old!me wasn’t having it -there’s a lot of fear in this movie, I’ll say that though, it doesn’t hit the sadness but it hits some of the fear

-here we go, back to bad beginning content -“and what about what I want?” he got the creepiness really good though ugggggg

-okay as many things as I think are not okay but decent in this movie, f u c k y o u for giving klaus the grappling hook and rescuing sunny!! fuck you for having him burn the paper and not letting violet do the left-handed thing!!! why even change that????? why e v e n there’s no reason to change it -how dare olaf say “rapscallion” in this that’s one of my favorite words -god the soundtrack was so good though………... -“right hand please” yeah I will slap you -klaus is the only one who gets these sad flashbacks god movie I was giving you, some, benefit, of the doubt, watching this as an adult, until this part, when I just, nah man -“these children tried to tell you but you didn’t listen” this is NOT the speech for OLAF to give -movie you were doing okay but you just REALLY fell apart here. none of this is okay -even the ‘these happy things happened! no they did not because the world doesn’t work that way’ falls flat against how lemony would say that in the books, seeing it ruins it -it actually reminds me of the ‘look at all these side characters having happy endings’ in s3 though

-i did always like this scene too though. where they go back to the mansion at the end -i liked the staircase, too. -i will say, there is something….very emotional, about finding something from a loved one, after they’re gone, that you didn’t know they did for you, or that they did at all, and to find it so suddenly. I think the spirit behind the letter in general, not the content and not the weird optimistic ending it leads to, but just the spirit of the letter, is close to violet and klaus and sunny reminiscing on their parents in the books

-the movie was before the beatrice letters but, lemony hanging out in a clocktower with these pigeons and bea’s letter having been delivered by pigeons…….

-ultimately, yes. it was decent, but rushed. -it wasn’t as ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE as I remember saying it was a few years ago, if I think about it as a self-contained sort of thing, there were some things I liked or appreciated, the costumes and the scenery and the soundtrack fit my mental image of the books -although you know what???? you know something i did not consider until the movie was over??? that could just be, I DID see the movie when I was first reading the books as a kid and it may have just stuck with me as The Image I Had And Sometimes Still Do For Parts Of The Books, huh -but in terms of how it translated the books, like if I think about 1-3 and what they contain, on more than just a surface level of going through plot beats, yeah, it failed hard, and missed the mark a lot -the last like half hour made me a lot more pissed than ever, though, ugggg -i’d put it on in the background again, though.

#lulu talks about the sad lemon man

4 notes · View notes

inventor-researcher-chef · 4 years

Note

I MAY BE TO SCARED TO INTERACT BEYOND ANONYMOUSLY BUT I WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE YOUR ASOUE EPISODE RANKINGS

Mmk It’s gonna be long tho so it’s going under a cut

Penultimate Peril Part 1

very accurate to the books! any changes made sense within the context of the show and worked

gorgeous aesthetics, strongest opening of any episode aside from Bad Beginning

only minus points because of Sporty Kit but she’s in it so little and the rest of it is so good that it doesn’t even matter

Max Greenfield as the Denouements was phenomenal

I actually liked the part where they try to make us think Kit was shacking up with Ernest, it was clever

Also I actually like the green uniform, I think it’s a more flattering colour on the actors than red would have been

Dewey’s death scene was amazingly shot and acted

I would die for Sunny in her toddler uniform. That being said in this episode if you look closely you can in fact see the light from the ipad they used to get her to look in the right direction

Reptile Room Part 1

Once again, gorgeous aesthetics and incredible book accuracy

Minus points for the spyglass subplot

Higher than part 2 because of Aasif Mandvi’s wonderful portrayal of Monty

I love the conservatory reptile room

Reptile Room Part 2

Very book accurate and entertaining

This is the episode where Violet’s outfits begin to slap

Minus points because with Monty’s death they made the colour grading less bright which makes sense but is less fun to look at

Also not a fan of how comedic and bafoonish the troupe is, it’s really more of an overall problem but it really just undermines how impactful Monty’s death is

Bad Beginning Part 2

Let’s be real, the Bad Beginning episodes were the most book accurate of the whole show

Loved the entire Marvelous Marriage bit, the play and marriage were done spectacularly

Lots of Jewish references, we stan

I actually like Jacquelyn’s presence in the first season, it works and adds a new element to the story

I also like Gustav being a major part of this episode because we never saw him in the original books and it’s nice to see his character before he dies (also symbolism with his death and Dewey’s)

Hostile Hospital Part 2

Do I even need to explain why this is so high on the list?

Higher than the first part because of the absolute horror of the whole operating theatre, it’s done so well

The aesthetics and filming work perfectly to underline the horror of everything

Only so low because I personally am not a fan of horror aesthetics

Bad Beginning Part 1

Once again, Bad Beginning episodes were the most book accurate and I love Jacquelyn

Strongest opening of any episode aside from Pentultimate 1

Only so low because of the cheesy CGI and NPH’s comedic Olaf

Hostile Hospital Part 1

ESME IN THE LIBRARY OF RECORDS HOLY FUCK

Low because aside from Esme being fucking fabulous in that scene I found the rest of the episode to be a bit boring at times

However, very accurate to the books and the chase scene in Last Chance was sufficiently freaky, as was the scaring Babs scene

For that matter, absolutely loved that we got to see Babs

Penultimate Peril Part 2

The Baudelaires in the trial scene made me🥺

The scene with Justice Strauss and Olaf with the kids was amazing

The ending made me cry

So low because of the opera scene, like how many issues did that have? It was pretty though

Also low for confirming Justice Strauss to have survived the fire, we don’t like getting answers to our questions

AND ANOTHER THING Esme’s ending was really lackluster? To the point of just being shitty? Especially given that while she is comedic, Lucy Punch hasn’t played up the comedy aspect of her character as much as NPH has, so Esme feels scarier and like more of a villain at this point so giving her that ending really fell flat

A very strong ending that really should have been the ending to the whole story

Grim Grotto Part 2

Grim Grotto was brought so low because of the absence of Widdershins but at least with part two you can pretend the first part had him and he left like in the books

Ansolutely in love with the submarines and Esme’s dress

Grim Grotto was one of my favorite books of the series as a kid so naturally it’s gonna be pretty high on the list

Also I think K Todd Freeman brings a needed likeability to Mr Poe, so when th Baudelaires are on Briny Beach again you do get the feeling they’re torn between going with him or Kit. Like they distrust and dislike him at this point but they don’t want to distrust him

Slippery Slope Part 2

The sinister duo are fab

Sunny is at her cutest in this episode, we’re talking peak cute

It’s pretty low because there’s a lot of stuff in the headquarters with Quigley that got cut, didn’t really make much of a difference but I missed it

I feel like Esme in the headquarters had so much potential to be as freaky as her Library of Records scene and it just fell short

Ersatz Elevator Part 2

Minus points for the VFD subplot but part 2 had less of that which is why it’s higher

Also in the ranking of Sunny being the cutest, this episode comes in at a close second to Slippery Slope

That being said overall I really adored the aesthetics of both episodes, absolutely love the mix of film noir and art deco

Jerome at the In Auction was amazing but Larry, Jacquelyn, Olivia, and Jacques was less so

Also still not a fan of the writing of the Quagmires

Ersatz Elevator Part 1

Once again, adore the aesthetics

Love the casting for the Squalors

Gunther’s disguise was *chef’s kiss*

so low because of the VFD subplot and the gratuitous musical number

That being said I did like the cuts between Keep Chasing Your Schemes and the Baudelaires finding the Quagmires, it worked well

Grim Grotto Part 1

Very low because of the absence of Widdershins and what this did to Fiona’s character

In general the way they wrote Fiona’s character was even less sympathetic than the books

Why, dear god, oh why was Quigley at Anwhistle Aquatics

Why, dear god, oh why does the Medusoid Mycelium look like that

Carnivorous Carnival Part 1

This was in fact my all time favorite book in the series as a kid and I just remember being a little disappointed I guess? By the episodes and I could never put my finger on why

Olivia’s character 😒

Higher than the second episode because I do love the creepy carnival feel and the feeling of unease before the Baudelaires know who Madame Lulu is

Also Esme’s gold outfit

As far as gratuitous musical numbers go, I do enjoy House of Freaks

Carnivorous Carnival Part 2

Cool carnival aesthetics

Chabo the wolf baby is adorable

Olivia’s death was more impactful and upsetting than Jacques’s, I’m just gonna say it

We miss a morally gray neutral character who is more interesting than a copy pasted Jacquelyn/Mrs Quagmire

Wide Window Part 2

This is really only so low because the colour grading is still kinda dull and it works within the episode but also makes it boring to look at

That being said the whole Hurricane Herman scene was phenomenal

rEaL eStAtE aGeNtS

The Colours in this episode were pretty, with the Lavender Lighthouse and the raincoats

Violet’s outfits remain slapping

The change to Josephine’s character is a good change (until season two when they do that to every single other character and take away any and all moral ambiguity but still)

Slippery Slope Part 1

we weRNT EXPELLED

I did love the Mortmain Mountains set

so low for the killing of the freaks, Sporty Kit, and for the heavy handed way they got rid of Jacquelyn

Wide Window Part 1

Boring and dull

Only this high because of Violet’s poppin outfits, the beautiful set, and Alfre Woodard as Josephine

Also the Captain Sham disguise is my favorite after Gunther

Austere Academy Part 2

The only reason part two is so high is because it has more Carmelita

who is the only good bit of these episodes

Like they’re both relatively book accurate, especially with the casting but like

I did not think it possible to make the Quagmires in this book more boring and yet

I get that it’s supposed to be dark and gloomy and depressing but it shouldn’t be so much that people just don’t want to watch it

Sunny running after the Quagmires in her little uniform does put this episode at like number 5 in her cuteness ranking though so points for that

Miserable Mill Part 2

While I miss the sword fight, I do understand why it was changed so I can accept it

Part 2 is higher because of Georgina’s slappin purple pantsuit

As far as MM goes I did actually like it but it still is kinda boring in comparison to the rest of the episodes

But I did like the mill scenes and Sir

Also a really strong ending that sets up season two nicely

Miserable Mill Part 1

See above

A little lower that Part 2 because of more Quagmire scenes

I actually liked the Quagmire scenes in season one and how it was handled but less so in this episode? Maybe it was the cheesy effects with the fighting

Also CGI Sunny. Her least cute episode

Vile Village Part 2

Vile Village was definitely one of my favorite books and I was so disappointed by the episodes

While I liked the western aesthetic, I don’t think it felt right with the feel of the book

Also crow nazis

Now that Jacques is dead there’s no bad VFD subplot so that’s why it’s higher than part 1

I really like how they handled Sunny not being able to take her first steps because she’s too old now. This is also definitely a good episode for the Sunny Being Cute scale

Vile Village Part 1

I really think the only thing this episode has going for it is the costumes, specifically Violet and Sunny’s

the watercolor dress, flannel, overalls, jesse hat, tricolor dress? fashion legends

disappointing, kinda boring, bland to look at, horrible VFD subplot, D+V???, bad CGI

however cute donkey

also a fan of Esme’s accent, idk what it’s supposed to be but it made my russian friend laugh

Austere Academy Part 1

Same as the first part however less Carmelita and Larry and Jacquelyn are at their most useless

Just the least entertaining episode overall

The End

honestly do I even need to explain this

I get what they were going for with the pink sheep and I quite like the tents but the pink robes were not flattering on anyone

Kit. Sugar. why is she in a white dress? when did she have time to change? overt christian symbolism after 14 episodes of Jewishness. Ishmael founded VFD. Ishmael can walk

The bad CGI. I haven’t seen CGI this bad since season one

The arboretum was disappointing and didn’t give the feel of years worth of buildup and it didn’t feel like the Baudelaires could live off of this stuff

That being said I loved chapter fourteen and BL

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #asoue netflix #asoue thoughts #i would love to hear other peoples opinions on this

2 notes · View notes