#i used to hate the world so fully | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

judas-redeemed · 9 months

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i want to learn to look at myself the way i've come to look at the world. i get my breath taken away at the ever-constant, ever-changing sky. feel tears well in my eyes at the distant sound of children's laughter. but i can barely muster a smile at my own reflection. i have learned to love this world. to take the awful and the awe-inspiring and hold it close to my heart. one day, i will find space there for me too. i will wipe my own tears. tuck myself into bed. believe the good things about myself. smile at my reflection and mean it. i will hold myself in my arms, like the crying child i tried so hard not to be, and wonder: how could i have ever wanted to leave you?

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godsfavoritescientist · 11 months

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Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

#ford meta #actuallyautistic #everyone go read the wikipedia page for 'stilted speech' right now #long post #ford isnt very good at masking. he doesn't have the kind of (unintentional) autistic coding that is Palatable To Neurotypicals.#definitely looking-too-deeply-at-a-kid-cartoon right now but in *some* ways. a world where the majority of people think its easy to like an #-understand ford is a world that would feel safe for me to unmask in.#i truly truly hate that fully explaining my thoughts on ford requires me to say so much about myself. but god is it such a crime-#-to use a fictional character as a lens through which to try and explain to people how to be more understanding and accepting-#-of things like this.#making fun of stilted speech is so normalized that people don't even realize they're making fun of someone for being weird.#people think its Someone Thinking They're Better Than You but its something people lay awake at night wishing they could stop doing.#and yet they still end up using the Wrong Words and being labeled a Pretentious Asshole just for talking differently than the norm.#maybe there really are people out there who deliberately use big words to try and sound smarter than everyone else. I don't know.#all I know is. in a world where its pretty obvious that people who use a discongruently complex vocabulary get made fun of for doing that.#why would someone deliberately trying to impress people do something that would only get them laughed at.#sorry for being genuine on main. as if its my fault </3

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sarroora · 3 months

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Turn off the Super Bowl - it’s not important. Go open the news now.

I hope you all understand that Israel has begun attacking Rafah at night while people were asleep.

They are now attacking what few buildings still remain in the south, near the TENTS that contain nearly 2 MILLION starving Palestinians who were forced out of their homes because their city was LEVELLED. By the SAME people now bombing them.

Rafah is where the Zionazis ‘claimed’ is the ✌️ ‘safe zone’✌️ /wink wink for Palestinians (it never was. I warned people about believing this stupid lie for months). And although we were all telling you for months that it’s all a lie, and that Israel’s purpose of Oct 7 has ALWAYS been to erase every Palestinian, the West STILL SUPPORTS ISRAEL. They are STILL GIVING THEM WEAPONS AND MONEY.

Giving them all the resources they need to steal another people’s land. To level their city like the fucking Rumbling, then slowly and methodically kill of its population by locking them in a freezing, waterless desert with no food, water or basic amenities. Then speed it up by blowing up the people in tents. Starving, weakened, dehydrated people, many of which are just 10-year old orphans trying to keep their 5 and 3 and 2-year old siblings alive because every adult in their life is already dead.

This is a catastrophe beyond my comprehension. This is savagery and barbarity beyond nothing I’ve ever imagined. I pray every Zionazi dies a miserable, horrible death. I wish the same to their supporters.

[X]

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nolongerexistingsadcatface · 3 months

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Ok yes America hating the cold is funny (eh) BUT. have you considered that I like the imagery of an America sitting alone in the forest in the bleak mid-winter landscape of an east coast woods, all alone in both body and mind, agonizing over her seeming doom to be stuck in the throes of loneliness for all eternity?

#aph nyo america #aph america #i want engagement <3 #secret confession i actually hate that canonically america doesnt do well in the cold #it gives too much ammo to the west coasters (villains) who can’t let my poor baby alfred be the east coast girl he truly is #also in a broader sense i feel like it creates a weird divide in both the portrayal of america and the connection he has with his country #as its representation #america is one of the most climate diverse countries in the entire world and i feel like making the REPRESENTATION OF AMERICA not be able t #handle a large majority of his country’s climate is an Odd choice and creates an unfortunate barrier between american culture #and the way it’s portrayed in hetalia #imo one of the most amazing parts of the geography of the us is its ability to be a metaphor for the american people #so insanely diverse and fundamentally different and completely irreconcilable—but it works anyways.#the land works together anyways //we// work together anyways we become one anyways despite what any and all logic dictates #what any and all logic DEMANDS #so for america to not be able to represent that cohesion + community—and in fact represent an intense and almost INNATE complete inability #to even try being accepting of and embracing our differences—is just.. not something I like + insinuates a very odd view of American cultur #my eyes are shutting as i type this im so tired #sorry if this is horribly written rip #i see this a lot in the hetalia fandom (IK I JUST DID IT IN THIS POST LMAO BUT I SWEAR I DO IT AS A JOKE; I REALLY DO APPRECIATE THE WEST #COAST AND AM FULLY AWARE OF ITS ROLE IN THE US CULTURE AND FUNCTION) where people write alfred as being almost hostilely exclusionary???#towards certain areas of america—city al who doesn’t like the country; country al who doesn’t like the newfangled cities; northerner al #who hates the southerners (because theyre poor + dont fit the author’s view of respectable people BUT THATS FOR A DIFFERENT POST);southerne #al who hates the northerners—and it’s all very gross to me. america is not—at its core—a country/culture founded on separation!! our ideals #are based on being—at our most basic—separate multi-faceted individuals who COME TOGETHER!! as one because of common ideals and love #E PLURIBUS UNUM!!!!!!#ok im done gn

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basuralindo · 9 months

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Hey do you think Jamil has trouble seeing people his age as peers?

Like, growing up having to be a caretaker to a guy literally a few months older than him, always expected to act like the adult in the situation, expected to work with adults and adopt their perspectives and pick up their slack. Do you think he just, forgets sometimes?

I mean we've seen him go into caretaker mode with other sophomores, and the only people I've seen him take seriously are juniors like Vil who also act much older than they should have to (his reactions to Leona look more like a trauma response and I don't wanna get into it here). People like Malleus and Cater still somewhat get the caretaker treatment. Like I just highly doubt that he subconsciously realizes he's actually part of his age group

Aaand that inevitably brings up Azul, who also acts like he thinks he's older than he is. Whether you're looking at it from a shipping angle or not, he reacts to Azul like an actual peer. With older students, he seems more in his element but there's still a status hierarchy which he compulsively reacts to. With Azul he doesn't acknowledge any status worth respecting or see him as someone who needs to be looked after. He just bickers like an equal, in a way that implies he actually does see Azul as a real peer, like subconsciously he's categorized this guy into the same group as himself, who was previously alone on that level (he gets like this more with the twins too, over time, but it seems to start with Azul).

And my favorite part about this is, while that response stems from them both acting more like adults in general, they elicit a pettiness from each other which drags them both down to actually acting their own age, and I just love that. Their characters are perfect foils for each other and it seems to make them both less isolated in a way.

#idk how to fully explain this thought in the azul department #but other than that its... yeah. forced maturity is so fucking isolating #I'm not surprised the only people he seems to hang around with are the fish even though he claims to hate them #since they seem to be in a similar boat with that #jamil viper #on a more shippy note:#I feel like Jamil NEEDED someone who he didn't feel the need to respect. in order to avoid falling into programmed behaviors #he's able to be a person around Azul in a way that nobody else can give him #specifically because Azul CAN keep up. but doesn't command his respect in any way that his employers would force him to acknowledge #and stubbornly refuses to leave despite Jamil being an asshole in his desperate attempts to feel some sense of freedom and control #which results in him wearing himself out enough to calm down and socialize while actually being treated with respect and equality anyway.#And it seems like Azul needed to find someone that he couldn't just attain or control from behind his own walls #he's desperate for the attention of someone who refuses to let him play the role he's developed to distance himself from others #so he has to treat himself more like a real person in order to get what he wants #which is a guy who challenges him enough to prove that it's not just him and the twins vs the ignorant masses #he's spent so long building himself a fortress of wealth and arrogance to protect him from the rest of the world #and now he's faced with the fact that he can't stay in there and still get what he wants no matter how many well practiced tricks he uses #and suddenly they're both just teenagers bickering in school with a peer like everyone else for the first time in their lives #this got off topic

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willowfey · 9 months

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starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

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kkujo · 9 months

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something i don't see people talking about is the way hyperfixations come in like stages and cycles like it's not just "i'm obsessed with this thing" it's like. euphoria from finding something new and it brings you so much joy and then as that initial dopamine rush wears off you start to get more and more down and feel isolated as you start to realise that no one else cares about it as much as you do and you feel silly for being so into it and the thoughts become repetitive and boring so you get more and more depressed and lonely and then you inevitably lose the hyperfix which leaves you drifting feeling miserable and hopeless until you start the cycle again. idk if i explained this well or if other people will understand but it brings genuine phases of euphoria and straight up depression and this is why i get annoyed when neurotypicals use words like hyperfixation to describe like, an interest. bc it's not. just an interest it becomes who you are and when you lose it it's like losing yourself and you spend so much energy thinking about it that it interrupts your daily life and it's so fucking draining 👍

#like if i see one more nt being like hyperfixation this hyperfixation that SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE AN INTEREST #talk to me when you stay up until 6am every night bc you can't fucking sleep bc ur thinking about it.#talk to me when you can't process emotions in a normal healthy way because you can only relate it back to your hyperfix #paired w madd especially it's IMPOSSIBLE to be normal about shit i swear 2 god because the second i'm upset or lonely it's straight back to #immersing myself in another world and being someone else and not facing my emotions instead letting 'someone else' deal with them #not just negative emotions yk it's anything it's fully immersive to the point i end up not knowing exactly who i am myself bc i'm rarely #myself in my head yk #and it's so isolating #and this is why i get mad when people use these terms lightly bc they don't fucking get it #oh you're hyperfixated? oh you're delusional? you're delulu? watch this #< guy who has delusions that all of his friends secretly hate him bc he's too insane abt xyz media and who feels alone bc no one else is as #into it even though it wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to be #like i'm constantly questioning whether all my friends are secretly against me & finding me annoying anytime i talk about it but it's fine #it's so fucking isolating #i'm not losing my hyperfix yet thank god but i am in the stage of like realisation where the initial euphoria has worn off and i'm like #fuck no one else gets it. no one else is thinking about it like i am. and it's so lonely #< like not to sound like 'i'm 14 and no one gets me' or i'm not like other girls or whatever 😭#it's not me being dramatic i genuinely. know that no one else is spending every waking moment thinking about the things i am the way i do #and it's so incredibly depressing i can't even explain it in a way that will make sense #because i want to talk about it so fucking bad and i can't. even to my friends and gf who always listen i end up feeling annoying #and then i get genuinely delusional not like tiktok girl voice delulu like i genuinely start questioning my entire reality #just if i talk about something a little too much #bc i'm convinced i'm fucking annoying and no one gets it and they're thinking bad things about me #but i know they wouldn't. but it feels like they are #idk #anyways !

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mishkakagehishka · 2 months

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Like we'll never make proper progress bc too many women have internalised misogyny and are quite happy with it bc they see their successful conforming to gender roles as something they should be proud of and other women's "unsuccessful" conforming as something to shame. Why? My assumption is bc they also don't want to have to conform 24/7 and are bitter when confronted with women who have decided they won't bother anymore. I like to think that bc then there's at least some hope for them.

#it could also just be ''if i conform and hate like a man then i'll be successful despite the patriarchy'' but #idk i hope it is just a misguided envy and want to break free from societal expectations #i get it. i wish i didn't feel like i have to put on make-up too but it's baby steps #i took it off now and i'll see my bf without it even tho i feel like i don't look ''good enough'' for a bare face but #it's my natural face and it's always good enough #but anyway and this successful conforming as a point of pride?#let me be controversial. it's bc you all fell for the beauty industry's rebranding into #''self-care and self-expression'' and are now fully convinced it's a choice that is never influenced by anything #other than what the woman wants. make-up is fun and a way to express yourself so that woman who doesn't do it #must just not be able to do it how sad and pathetic lol #but it's not self-care of self-expression if you're using it to change your natural appearance #i am only pro-make-up if it's used to emphasise or genuinely have fun but i don't trust the world with it at all so #idk. i kinda grew to like slathering my cheeks and nose in pink glittery blush bc i like to look cutesy #but i hate feeling like i have to use concealer. etc etc.#one is a fashion accessory one is ''i need to look perfect at all times bc society expects that from me'' and THAT is what we need less of

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secretlythatsme · 2 months

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i really love dc x dp tbh but i hate how so many fics end up making the batfam dumb as shit. and i don't mean in a "loveable goof" kind of way but in a genuine "these people don't have the skills or intelligence to be heroes" kind of way. which is just antithetical to their entire thing

sometimes it's because the writer just genuinely doesn't know anything about the batfam or what they've been through so they come across as idiots. and other times it's because the writer is writing op ghost king danny or just generally op danny and they genuinely think he could outsmart or beat them. more often than not, it's a combination of the two.

it's just so sad. like not only is it disrespectul to the batfam, essentially getting rid of all the skills and experience they have just to prop up danny, but it also makes things a lot more boring imo. don't get me wrong, i don't mind the occasional "main character is super op" kind of story, but it's boring when like 70% of fics are like that and there's no real challenge or obstacle for him. part of why the show danny phantom was so fun was that it was exciting and chair gripping to see danny have to deal with his new ghost powers, figuring out how to deal with ghost attacks or vlad, and dealing with school and his parents on top of that.

but often, dc x dp fics just,, get rid of any challenge for him. sure batman is a skilled detective but danny will always be able to trick him! sure cass has been trained since birth to read people's body language but this random ghost teen knows how to conceal and control everything!! yeah damian has also been trained since birth to fight and kill but this random guy from the midwest who just started fighting in his teens is so much better!!! like, alright. it's fun every now and then but it sucks when so much of the dc x dp content is just people acting like the batfam are the worst vigilantes/detectives in the world.

and honestly i still feel this way even with the ghost king danny fics because how? he's never had to deal with people obsessively reading his body language or reading between the lines. he's had to deal with hiding stuff sure but his parents aren't the most observant people - their whole deal was being neglectful. even as a ghost king, why would he know how to outsmart, take advantage of, or beat the batfam in any capacity when he would still mostly deal with ghosts. it's a completely different skill set here - one that he likely wouldn't be prepared for. it'd be fine if they at least attempted to explain why danny would have those skills (like league danny aus) but most of them don't.

and i'm not saying danny couldn't do it at all, especially if it's a ghost king au, but i'm just tired of seeing the batfam constantly downplayed in these fics Just to make danny look better, smarter, stronger, etc. ik most people in the fandom are just danny fans but it really shows with how they treat, characterize, and shit on the dc characters just to prop danny up. it also serves to occasionally make danny look like an asshole when he intentionally messes with them and basically commits psychological torture for a goof.

#man...#i Do like this crossover but i completely understand why so many dc fans hate it #the oocness the fanon the constantly making these skilled trained characters fumble around and get outsmarted by Some Guy #ghost king danny isn't even canon to dp! which isnt a bad thing by any means ik the dp fandom goes crazy for fanon #and generally speaking the fanon Is a lot more fun and engaging than dp's canon #but as a dc fan its insane to watch #i want to engage more with dc x dp content so badly like this crossover is really interesting to me #but so much of it is just 'the bat.fam are actually fucking useless and my blorbo is so much better :)))'#it's almost like they dont even like the bat.fam!!! they keep saying they just dont know/understand them #but it fully feels like they straight up dont like the dc characters #it definitely comes across as 'hey this is a fun world to put danny in lets do that while also shitting on it and all of the characters'#'lol bruce is so stupid this random teen can outsmart him and he can lie to cass and he can beat dick in a physical fight lol'#there's a point where it stops feeling like indulgent op blorbo and more like insulting anyone who isn't danny #<thats actually exactly what it is and its insane to me like why even like crossovers if you dont want to engage with anyone but danny #how can you say you like them when you outright refuse to know them or respect them?#and obviously im using 'you' in a vague way im not specifically calling anyone out #ik there are people in the fandom who are genuinely fans of both and Do know and respect the dc characters #but so far its very few and far between which is just such a fandom culture shock for me #like in most fandoms im able to read a lot of fics and only occasionally think 'thats not right'#but with this one its the other way around - im constantly going 'they wouldnt say/do that at all why does the op think that?'#like 9 out of 10 fics im like 'oh yeah this person has never read a comic in their life'#i can immediately tell when someone has only read the webtoon its extremely obvious unfortunately #maybe i should make a dc masterlist for dp fans... like here you can write about them again After you do your homework ajdhgl

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poisonouspastels · 5 months

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#i figured this would be better suited for a separate post continuing from here #I've had people get angry at me for giving Steve a proper strongman build - thus making him fat and muscular in the process #ive gotten people mad at me for making him his direct colorpicked skin tone. got told I made him ''the wrong color'' for it #got called slurs #got told i need to just ''take a joke'' when im getting right fully angry at people telling me im wrong for making his AU design that way #been quite literally told our art looks ''ugly as hell'' when people ran out of bigoted arguments #its all just getting really hard and really tiring to keep doing what i love when everyone is vocal about hating it #and very few people are vocal about liking it #i do art for me dont get me wrong. and people have been supportive.#but i cant help but wonder if anyone would have even cared about the mega ref at all if it hadn't been surrounded by people full of hate #its just hard to stay motivated and put my all into something that's gotten so much backlash for stupid reasons you know #i've been putting so much love into my work surrounding this AU lately. my writing and my art. for over the past year now #i try not to ask anything in return other than for people to just pay attention to it at all. give it a reblog #but the one time we have something out of it become popular its because people are stupid and bigoted #i dont care about numbers this isnt about that. i just care about returning the passion i put into the world.#if anyone wants to send anything my way feel free. i could use it #sorry for venting

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liquidstar · 7 months

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all of the previously untranslated "dear society" suddenly got uploaded to mangakakalot a couple weeks ago out of no where so yes i DID read it and yes i DID cry doing so. several times in fact. i really liked it.

#(these tags contain spoilers)#a lot of the visuals were genuinely so cool too #like the way metaphorical immediacy was used to symbolize emotions was just perfect #i especially loved this one scene in the early chapters where hanakos telling kanesho who she likes #and is drawn as if shes stabbing him in the chest #and there isnt a cut back to ''reality'' for it- its fully depicted as if thats whats going on even though the audience clearly #just a metaphor #sometimes it was literally what was going on top of being a metaphor though. like when he just like #casually took out his old school uniform and burned it in some random ladys fire #the timeskip was also funny bc he was so ''damn. i hate society but i participate in it. curious.''#also i like how hanako wasnt the wife foreshadowed at the start #like his initial crush on here was obvs pretty dependent but not in an unusual way for young teens lol #but it shows that that doesnt really matter passed highschool. like he said himself his world grew #i also really liked mizuho he was just a really cool guy #i fully expected him to be a bait and switch douchebag but he really wasnt. he was just cool and supportive #even when he got dumped! like #kanesho apologizing bc he likes girls and cant force himself to be in a relationship w a guy #(and mizuho at the time interpreters this to mean hes a lesbian)#his response is just. you have nothing to apologize for....#ALSO a big fan of kino he was just such a great mentor for kanesho #obviously w different experiences like kino says. hes a gay man and kanesho is a trans guy so its different #but theres overlap and solidarity. they were both unfairly ostracized at school and kino was such a great support bc hes BEEN THERE #when he graduates and leaves his uniform for kanesho w the note ''now its your turn''#dude. unreal. screaming crying throwuing up #loved the school nurse too she was just so supportive and nice. thank you school nurse for being cool. sorry i forgor your name

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thetimelordbatgirl · 7 months

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Finished watching Tales of Arcadia in its entirely... ...Star VS The Forces Of Evil please step aside, another show/movie is here to collect the award for Worst Fucking Ending.

#ngl i didnt fully enjoy the franchise #trollhunters jim was bland to me at first until near the end of it #3below felt like a weird middle for the three shows #and it shows even more when the alien characters return in the movie and dont do anything but...male pregnency plot #which just...is really unneeded plot #and out-stayed its welcome very fast #wizards i defintiely did enjoy...except for jim being turned back to human #ngl preferred him as a troll #and then the movie....so many unneeded deaths #so much weird plot where even the writing goes 'wait why didnt you tell us they dont need all three members to control the titans?!'#plus the fucking ending....oh dear god #the fact that jim time travels and fucks up shit #and makes toby trollhunter instead #like bruh you just saw him die and your going to condemn him to potentially die as trollhunter????#plus your willing to die in his place then or #like is this going to become a never ending time loop with jim and toby if toby survives first season or #and what happened to jim being meant to be trollhunter or the world will go fucked #and like i hate the pregency plot but damn steve was really fine with the babies being erased by jims time travelling #and with the time travel comes everything we saw being undone and reset #so thanks for killing rewatchbility as theres no point if it gets reset at the end

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studiousbotanist · 16 days

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i really did see firsthand how cruel the truscum community was to anyone trans, whether it was outside their community or inside . such a miserable subsection of people . they should be forced to stay on their sad little island while we are having epic win parties feeling wonderful about all the little ways that we ARE who we are !!!!!!!! a lot of this transandro bullshit reminds me of how in the truscum community people were so, so fucking picky and cruel to trans women . to all nonbinary identities . but g-d forbid you tell them they've got male privilege now that they've transitioned and they're stealth !!!!!!!!! look at the history of this shit !!!!! i will Never believe in misandry or trans misandry, and you're on the wrong blog on this g-d dang internet if you think i'm in solidarity with you !

#does a bear blog in the woods #any kind of identity where you're focused on the fomo and the miseries of it vs the reasons it makes you smile and feel comfortable in your #existence is a Crock of shiiiiiiiittttt !!!!!!!!!#this is all fake who tha fuck cares !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i cannot be convinced ! you were not there you did not see how fucking awful it was !!!!!#men who had fully transitioned and passed fulltime were still so hateful to themselves due to the simple fact they werent born cis !#many killed themselves despite this !!! we are in a MUCH better era of being trans and existing despite how scary the world is #ill never understand other white trans men who want to kiss up to those who would so easily kill us or hate us otherwise . newsflash dude .#use your privilege to protect and uphold others in your community and educate vs turning into the oppressor

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brainfullofbees · 2 months

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#thinking about...#i... don't know if my identity will ever be fully accepted by my family #my mom is so attached to my birth name that i just. can't bring the will to tell her not to say it anymore #she knows my pronouns but... does she use them? does she think of me as they/them? or will i always be she/her to her?#how much of my extended family would understand and accept me? how many of them would make an effort for me?#ha.......... i don't even have the courage to ask for the right name to be used at work #scared of questions... scared of judgement... of harassment...#i just want to be quiet and lay low and get my work done so i have money to live #i just #i hate that there's no way for me to be gendered correctly without outing myself #i hate that the world is the way it is and i'm scared of just existing #i wish things were easier #i wish people were kinder

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sereniv · 3 months

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Now again, im saying this from a pretty detached place

as in its not me who is theoretically in danger in this specific sense

but the whole israel brainwashing narrative like whats taught in their schools is basically "palestinians are literally the equivalent to nazis and want to do everything the nazis want to do" etc etc.

So when getting in to the israeli zionist jewish mindset, one should be seeing it as Jews fighting nazis. Thats how supposedly they are brought up believing.

But idk. again it can be because i wasnt brought up with the same fears and stories of actual nazism and everything that would cause someone to hate with such...palpability?

But for me, as much as i hate fascism and nazis and bigots and the like, when i see a baby, a child, even one being brought up in a literal neonazi household, as in homeschooled on nazi values

I dont feel hate towards the child. i dont see them as not human. i wouldnt cheer for their death or even seek to kill them

at most, and generally, i would wish that baby being taken away from proven-to-be nazi indoctrination (as oppose to the supposed view israeli zionists have on palestinians)

But I see so many videos and writings of Israeli zionists (jewish specifically) that cheer for palestinian babies dying, that brag about killing toddlers or children.

And its not like they dont have access to other view points, to videos.

I just dont think its based in any type of fear like they like to claim. I think some yes, just like not all israelis are jewish nor zionist nor anti palestinian.

But from what ive seen i just dont buy that the zionist cilvilians are driven by fear that which they grew up being taught to feel- as is claimed

I think for a lot its an illusion of fear? Like theres the genuine fear of antisimetism which is true and real and as jewish people even zionists have every right to have that fear.

And then theres the fear they say they have of palestinians (and those fighting for palestine) that they say is nazi/antisemitism and THAT is where i think a lot of them are lying.

I think they accept that narrative but dont actually feel it. I dont think most feel the same fear they feel with real antisemitism.

And this is exluding actual antisemitism coming from pro palestine side which is definitely happening, and also excluding any true misinterpretation (which that sounds confusing but idk how to explain it. theres layers)

its like so much other evidence ive seen where its one sided attacks and hate in like, Jerusalem where settlers will attack anyone not jewish (like that video of the Christian being spat on which i dont believe was palestinian?)

bottom line, majority of zionists know what they are doing to a degree and dont care bc they have grown up as bigots.

Like white supremacists who "fear" for the white decline, who grow up as a bigot. They dont fear in the way one would actually fear oppression and eradication.

Does this make sense? can someone say it better

Also to be clear This blog is Pro Jewish, Israel is Antisimetic and doesnt speak for all Jews etc

#like so many talk of growing up with fear of palestinians #but then instead its just hate #i just cant imagine the stuff ive seen people say and boast about being rooted in fear #which i guess hate is fear wtvr but i mean like #idek if i can articulate best i dont have vocabulary #and i get that like the oppressed are allowes to celebrate the deaths of their oppressors. thats normal #but with information able to get. and like not to be all 'innocent babies and children'#but fr any child of any dictator or genocider or nazi or bigot i just feel bad for the child #even a toddler even a 12 year old who is fully indoctrinated. past 12 idk. its base by base #and like this whole thing is even more complicated when you think of reuabilitation #but overall so many signs point to just lies. so many fucking lies #and its making it worse for every other jew around the world. i mean among other obvious things like GENOCIDE #like antisimetism is a real fucking thing and it just seems like they are using it as a cover #each pro palestinian genocider. like fuck you.#i recognize im cozy up and privileged so my interpretation could be off #anyway #i really hope its understandble what im saying #and i hope someone can saynit better bc this is all jumbled #palestine

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whenthegoldrays · 3 months

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#I hate seeing posts that reduce human existence to a product of evolution or coincidence #like I know that it's what most people believe these days #but it angers me that they just #refer to us as apes or whatever #talk about the wonders of the world as if they just ✨magically evolved✨#like no! we are here because we were created! designed!#I think it's also so sad for people who are fully steeped in this mindset because it robs them of a purpose in their life #if we evolved from nothing out in the middle of nowhere then what IS the point #and where ARE we going #life is then meaningless and bleak #and the future is a valley of darkness #so belief in God is not only logical but like.. HEALTHY #imagine having a purpose! a hope and a future! a reason to get up and endure the horrors each day!#elly's posts

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