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wukindly · 1 year

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I posted 95 times in 2022

That's 8 more posts than 2021!

87 posts created (92%)

8 posts reblogged (8%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wukindly

@kajillionaires

@brighteststar707

@beautifullypoetic

I tagged 85 of my posts in 2022

Only 11% of my posts had no tags

#duskwood - 30 posts

#julie plays duskwood - 27 posts

#julie replies - 20 posts

#friends - 15 posts

#oof - 9 posts

#anon - 8 posts

#jake duskwood - 7 posts

#jake donfort - 7 posts

#duskwood jake - 7 posts

#jake - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 99 characters

#martin is a prince and something about him just................... made me fall in love really fast

My Top Posts in 2022:

Duskwood | MASTERLIST

JAKE

IMAGINES

The World Around Us Disappears Summary: Jake had thought about how their first meeting would go before, but nothing sounded as sweet as the scenario MC once shared with him.

72 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

After Yoosung’s Route

“Hi Julie! Congratulations on 5.5k! It's completely deserved <3 For the requests (if you're still taking them), could I ask for some fluffy yoosung headcanons that take place after his route? Yoosung growing and having a partner for the first time? Thank you <;333” by @brighteststar707

Pairing(s): Kim Yoosung/gn!reader Word Count: 1.1k Genre: fluff, slight mentions of hurt, comfort

A/N: This starts right after his route ends.

Even though he’d insisted that he was fine and that you shouldn’t worry about his eye, you couldn’t help yourself, just like the rest of the RFA. Jumin wasn't kidding when he told Jaehee to contact the hospital as Yoosung's injury required attention - and the other members also agreed that it might have been too soon for Yoosung to be at an event like their party in the condition he was in.

One of the things that attracted Yoosung the most about you was your caring and supportive personality, so he wasn't surprised at all when you offered to take him to the hospital to check if he was indeed alright. Seven also promptly suggested that he go along, as he was feeling guilty about what had happened.

He would have preferred the others to have taken his word that he was fine, yet Yoosung agreed to go with you. After the events of the last few days, almost losing you and not even being able to go see if you were okay, he would take any opportunity to be with the one he'd been yearning for.

You might have gotten to know each other well on the messenger, but both of you were still eager to learn even more - especially now that you weren't pre-dating anymore. Yoosung could very well spend hours talking about the things he liked, but he was way more delighted to hear you talk about your own hobbies and experiences.

Yoosung was touch-starved when it came to you. He always made sure to be touching you in some way when you were together, whether it was “accidentally” brushing his arm against yours, holding your hands or straight up holding you. It was like an assurance that you were there, right next to him, safe.

You were the one to bring up the “therapy” subject. So much had happened in the short time you had known each other and you felt that Yoosung's mental health should be a priority.

Of course that he knew that things had been hard for him, but he still was a bit hesitant. He had no problem opening up to you or a close friend, but doing it so to a total stranger was different. However, remembering the conversation he had with V about Rika's issues and how she had refused treatment, he decided to give it a try.

He finally started acknowledging his own issues and working on them. Before, Yoosung wasn’t completely aware that he used LOLOL to cope with everything that happened. He knew, to a certain level, that he used the game to distract himself, but he could not see that his addiction was due to a coping mechanism.

Even though it's hurtful, he began exploring his feelings towards Rika's death. Recognizing the great impact his cousin had on him and that he didn't need to forget or walk away from it, but that there were healthier ways to move on with his life even if grief was still present.

Being the open partner he was, Yoosung looked for your support and comfort outside of therapy as he was working through these things. Healing is a hard and long path, so he was grateful that he had someone by his side that was patient enough to listen to him.

He meant what he said at the party, that he wanted to become a better person for you. With therapy, he also started working on the mindset of becoming better for himself as well.

Getting more and more of his motivation back and with the support of you and his friends, Yoosung's attention on his studies increased. That meant he had to learn to balance the time he spent with you with the time he focused on college. The life of a student is not easy.

That in no way meant that he neglected you. Even if he was studying for a big exam that was coming up, he still found time to text and call to make sure you were okay and eating properly.

There was this one time that Yoosung had invited you to his apartment so you could spend some time together and relax after he finished reviewing a few things for his finals. It was supposed to be just a few things, so you'd arrived while he was still studying and tried to keep yourself busy until he was done. Unfortunately, the study took more time than he’d expected and, when he realized, there wasn’t that much time left for you to hang out. Trying to cheer him up, as the man was repeatedly apologizing for making you wait, you suggested that maybe you could stay the night.

Since it was so late...

And you would like to spend time with him...

And, well...

Yoosung felt his face burning as he pulled the blanket over both of you. He was relieved that the light was already off so you couldn't see how red his cheeks were. He might have grown to be more confident in himself overall, but nothing could have prepared him for that. Due to the size of his bed, you were lying very close to each other. Yoosung could feel your warmth from where he was, feel your breath lightly against his face. His eye was still adjusting to the dark, but he could already make out the outline of your head leaning against his pillow. He wondered if you were also looking at him. Yoosung felt his heart skip a beat as one of your hands found its way to his belly, quickly guiding itself to wrap your arm around his waist. As if it were a second nature to him, the man moved his own arms around your body, pulling you closer. Your sigh of contentment as you buried your face in his neck didn't go unnoticed by Yoosung, bringing a soft smile to his face. "Good night, (Y/N)." he placed a kiss on the top of your head. "Thank you for staying."

Yoosung found he slept much better with you around. Even though he had spent most of the previous day studying, he’d woken up feeling refreshed in the morning.

He went on to invite you to his apartment more often in hopes that maybe you'd want to spend the night there again.

Another time you were there, Yoosung discovered how good it was to study while you snuggled him. The first few times that happened, he found it kind of hard to focus on his books with you so close, but he learned to make it work - mostly because he knew you'd stop doing it if you knew it was distracting him.

All in all, he was still going through a learning process, both about relationships and himself.

MASTERLIST

94 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

Their S/O leaves on a one year trip

“Konnichiwa! Its my first time requesting something, so I hope this request won’t sound weird. Can I have a headcanon of saeyoung and yoosung when their s/o leave on a one year trip then comes back? Thank you!!” by anon

Featuring: Choi Saeyoung, Kim Yoosung

》 CHOI SAEYOUNG

Saeyoung had already mastered the skill of hiding his true feelings from people, so he didn’t let it show how heartbroken he was. He might be used to being alone, but it didn’t mean he liked the feeling of being lonely.

He acted like the most supportive boyfriend. You were already pretty hyped about the whole situation, but Saeyoung doubled your expectations. A few days after you told him what your plans were and the places you wanted to go, he came to you with a list of wonderful and lesser-known attractions that you just couldn't miss while you were there - and he himself seemed very excited about it all as he rambled about each location.

On the day of your departure, he managed to get every RFA member to see you off with him. Even though he’d tried to convince himself that he was only doing this because he knew you would love to see everyone before you left, he knew deep down that he was also doing it for himself. Saeyoung did know he was going to miss you terribly, and thought that having the others around him would be somewhat comforting in the moment.

Of course you kept in touch with him every day. Saeyoung would log into the messenger every few hours to see if you were online. Whenever you were, he’d want to know if you were safe and having a good time, because honestly that's what really mattered to him.

Over the course of that one year, the RFA chatroom was filled with photos of you and the beautiful sightings you'd seen, as you wanted to share this experience with your friends. Saeyoung obviously swooned every time he saw your face in any of the files you sent.

You noticed the “707 has entered the chatroom” notification popping up in the chatroom as soon as you finished uploading your new photo. Even though you were previously talking to Jaehee about the new place you were visiting, Saeyoung managed to be quicker than everyone else with his reactions. “Woa-!” he exclaimed, sending you his heart eyes emoji. “If you were a fruit,” Jaehee's message popped up right after. "Please, don't." "You'd be a fine-apple." You snorted, not being able to hide the smile growing on your lips. The other RFA members, however, didn't seem to appreciate the cheesy words as much as you did. “(Y/N), when do you get back? Seven has been insufferable since you went away.” Zen complained. “Can’t a guy compliment his honeybunch sugarplum anymore??” Saeyoung wrote dramatically. “Can’t a guy show his love and appreciation for the one who makes his heart thump thump in his chest????” “Not in the chatroom!” Zen retorted. “Yoosung’s eyes are too innocent for your messages.” It didn't take more than five seconds for Yoosung to send his own angry emoji. “Hey! They are not! But ya, go text them in private or something.”

Even when you sent him a photo in private, he made a point of commenting in the RFA chatroom that “his beloved blessed him with a picture, but that he could not share much information about it”. Zen thought that was actually worse as there were so many possibilities of what that could mean.

There was nothing particularly risqué or inappropriate about the photos you sent him in private; you were doing it mainly because the others were complaining about Seven. However, both of you really enjoyed to tease Zen with the idea that something might be going on.

Even though you were miles and miles away from each other, you still tried to do a few things together over the phone - that included your monthly horror movie night. Of course, watching a movie with Saeyoung on a video call wasn't the same. You'd deny it if anyone asked, but you kind of missed the way he'd try to scare you when you were together. Still, it was comforting to do these little activities with him, as it also served as a reminder of what would be waiting for you at home.

He was the one to pick you up at the airport when you got back. From the moment you let yourself be wrapped in a hug, you knew that he wouldn’t leave your side for the next couple of days. And, honestly, you didn’t mind it at all. You did have a lot to catch up on.

It hadn't been long since you'd arrived at your house. You and Saeyoung were sitting on the floor of your bedroom next to each other, suitcases scattered around the place. As you looked around the room you hadn't seen in a year, a thought popped into your head. “Oh! Now that we’re here, I can finally say it.” Saeyoung raised an eyebrow at your words. You reached for one of your suitcases, looking for something inside its contents. “I came bearing gifts!” “Wha-” when he saw you take a box in your hands, the man's eyes widened slightly, but he quickly narrowed them in mock accusation. “Why didn't you tell me this sooner?” "Because I knew that if I'd told you on the airport, you wouldn't have been able to wait until we got here." He let out an exaggerated sigh as he shook his head. “Unfortunately, you know me too well.” you nudged the box towards him, encouraging him to take it from you. A teasing grin crossed his face. "You shouldn't have." Those might have been the words that came out of his mouth, but his excitement at receiving that surprise gift was noticeable in his posture. “I know it isn’t much.” a half truth; although there were a lot of things, they were just small keychains, pendants and stickers. “You were always on my mind and I guess I wanted to bring you something from each place I went to so you could feel like you were there with me.” You watched as he took a few souvenirs in his hands for a better look. You beamed at him when one particular keychain caught his eyes – you’d been waiting for him to notice it. You almost couldn't believe it yourself when you came across from it at this one store that sold some unusual items. There you’d found it, a Longcat keychain. “This one is my favorite.” you chuckled, seeing him carefully analyzing it. “I thought of you as soon as I saw it.” Saeyoung's gaze softened at your words, thankfulness clear in his eyes when he turned to you once again. It meant a lot to him, you knew it did. The corner of his mouth turned up in a small smile; oh, it had been one long year. One of his hands went to the back of your neck, pulling your face closer as he leaned toward you. You whined at the feeling of his lips engulfing yours in a passionate kiss, your arms reaching blindly for his waist. There were so many feelings evident in Saeyoung's movements - so much yearning, neediness, gratitude and love. You had almost forgotten how he had the ability to take your breath away. You could feel the cold keychain grazing your cheek as he moved his other hand to your face. “I missed you.” he murmured tenderly against your lips. You tightened your grip around him. “I missed you too.”

He cherished your gifts more than you knew. A few weeks later, you found the Longcat keychain in his jacket pocket. Saeyoung had left it there so he could have it with him at all times - it was particularly useful whenever he felt overwhelmed, for it was a reminder that you were in his life and would be there for him. It had easily become one of his greatest prized possessions.

》 KIM YOOSUNG

Yoosung was not so good at hiding his feelings, so you knew that he was taken aback by the news. Those watering eyes couldn’t lie. Ever since you started dating, there wasn’t a week that went by that you hadn’t seen each other. He was just so used to having you around and a year was a long time to be apart from you.

It was bittersweet for him really.

He tried to suck it up as soon as his feelings allowed him. Yoosung knew that this was something you’d wanted for a while and watching you finally making this dream of yours come true made him happy. He made sure to let you know how excited he was, asking you about all of your plans and things you were looking forward to.

You still talked to each other every day after your departure.

And every single day he texted you to make sure that you were eating well. That didn’t surprise you at all, for Yoosung already had a habit of asking you the same thing three times a day even when you were together.

“Good morning, cutie pie! Did you have breakfast?” A smile quickly spread on your lips as you saw the message pop up on your phone. You’d been waiting for it. Yoosung’s messages were like clockwork. This time, you’d even taken a picture of your food before eating so you could send it to him. “I did, Yoosungie. It was delicious, but nothing could be as good as your omelette.” If there was something you missed about home other than your friends and boyfriend, it was definitely the latter’s cooking. He claimed that he was still learning, but it was better than anything you could ever make. Your smile only widened when you saw his reply popping up in the chat. “I promise I will make you one when you get back, don’t worry!”

Sometimes, when neither of you had a busy tiring day, you’d stay on the phone for hours. He’d tell you everything about his day - going from how he was trying to get better grades at college to this really unfair match he lost on LOLOL. Then, he’d eagerly ask you about yours, paying attention to every word coming out of your mouth.

It happened more than once that both of you fell asleep while still on call. Yoosung personally loved whenever this happened, because he’d get to wake up to your voice calling him.

He might have said once or twice that he didn’t like taking selfies that much, but by the end of the trip, you had a whole album just for pictures of him. He’d always send them with the excuse that he didn’t want you to “miss him too much or forget what he looks like”. The truth was that he was just sending them in hopes that he’d get a selfie of you back, because he missed you.

Yoosung was waiting for you at the airport the day you finally got back. He couldn’t help but cry when he saw you again. Happy tears, obviously - he was just so happy that you were back, safe and sound.

He was trying to stay strong, but it was so hard when so many feelings were going through him. The second his eyes locked with yours was his breaking point. His shaking hands gripped the flowers he’d bought for you tightly as the tears finally freed themselves and ran down his face. You knew that you didn’t look much better, tripping over your own feet until you reached him. As soon as you threw your arms around his neck, Yoosung wrapped his around your waist, pulling you as close to him as possible. You could feel your shoulder getting wet from his tears, but couldn’t bring yourself to care. “I love you.” These were the first words he managed to say. You pulled away slightly just so that you could see him properly. His cheeks were red, wet from his silent crying; however, he had a bright smile adorning his face. His eyes were examining your face, as if he was trying to memorize exactly how you looked like at that moment. “I love you.” he said it softly, leaning his forehead on yours. “I love you so much.” You nodded your head, sighing in contentment as you closed your eyes. “I love you too.”

MASTERLIST

122 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

The Night Before | Kim Yoosung

Yoosung wakes up the morning after his first time with his significant other.

Pairing(s): Kim Yoosung/gn!reader Word Count: 0.4k Genre: fluff Warnings: There are mentions of sexual activity, but nothing too explicit. Also, haven’t written anything in a year, so beware.

Yoosung’s eyes hurt. That was the first thing he felt waking up that morning. It took him a few seconds to figure out what was causing his discomfort as he slowly forced his eyes open. The blinds above his head were almost fully close, but there was still a small gap through which the sun was shining directly into his eyes.

The boy grunted. He must not have closed them thoroughly the night before. No one could blame him, though. It wasn’t like he’d cared too much about it when he got to his room with (Y/N).

He wasn’t thinking about the blinds when they sat on his bed, lips moving against each other’s, his shaking hands eager to explore their body. And (Y/N) surely didn’t seem to mind it either as their lips left marks on his neck, their equally shaking hands making sure to make a mess of Yoosung’s hair.

Both nervous for sure, but ready.

Ready to give themselves to each other.

Utterly and completely, body and soul.

A breath on his neck brought him back to the moment. A smile spread across his face, his gaze moving to the body next to his. It was impossible to ignore the way they’d fallen asleep - both turned to each other, (Y/N)’s arms wrapped around his waist, their face hiding on his neck.

Yoosung’s face heat up at the feeling of their entire body pressed against him. Just a reminder that they were together the night before. He hadn’t shied away from their touches then and he surely wasn’t going to do that now. He tightened his grip on their back, bringing them even closer to him.

He loved this.

The words (Y/N) had muttered to him before they fell asleep on his arms rang on his mind.

I feel so safe with you.

Oh, he did too, and he was happy they felt that way.

After everything that had happened in his life, he yearned to have someone he could trust, someone that would care for him. He wanted someone that would find that in him too, a safe place. Lying in his bed in the early morning, after the events of the night before, he was sure that he’d found his person.

Yoosung closed his eyes again, not wanting this moment to end. Even though the sun was still shining into the room and onto his face, he allowed himself to relax. His heart warmed at the realization.

He loved them.

Utterly and completely, body and soul.

MASTERLIST

123 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The World Around Us Disappears | Jake

Jake had thought about how their first meeting would go before, but nothing sounded as sweet as the scenario MC once shared with him.

Pairing(s): Jake/fem!reader Word Count: 0.5k Genre: fluff with a tiny bit of angst

A/N: Heavily based on this post right here.

He wasn't sure where they were.

Was it Duskwood? The Chinese restaurant? Or maybe the motel across the street from it? Well, it didn't really matter to him. The only thing Jake knew was that they were there, close to each other.

He’d thought about this moment before, how it would be when they were together at last. It was everything he had imagined, but at the same time nothing like it. Jake could feel his heart beating out of rhythm in his chest. He’d never been this careless, this reckless, to bring someone into his life – but there he was, taking (Y/N) into his arms.

And it was such a relief to feel her skin against his, a gentle reminder that she was real. He knew it was dangerous to be around him, but he wanted to believe that he’d be capable of protecting her if it came to it.

Protecting her from his pursuers, from the Man Without a Face, from anything that could do her harm.

Her hands were firm on his shoulders, as if they were the only thing keeping her steady. She was right, no words were needed. Jake could see the mix of emotions going through her eyes, even though he couldn't name them all. What he knew was that they were pretty similar to what he was feeling.

Joy and hope.

Serenity.

These were the ones he could tell that were there.

But there was something else.

Something stronger, more intense; but that at the same time brought softness to their eyes.

Could he call it-

Love?

Only four letters to describe such a confusing and unmeasurable feeling, but it felt so right. Was it possible to come to a conclusion like that without saying a word? It seemed like it was, at least for them. No words, their eyes speaking plenty already.

And then, as a one last action to confirm what they already knew, Jake leaned in. Slowly, giving her time to move away if that was what she wished to do. He was content to see that she didn't and, quite the opposite of that, moved her hands to his face in an attempt to bring him closer.

The feeling of her lips colliding against his was the only thing that grounded him in that moment. As her hands started stroking his cheeks softly, Jake couldn't even make sense of his thoughts anymore. It absolutely terrified him as it wasn't something he was used to.

Only one word kept repeating on his mind.

Finally, finally, finally.

They were finally together and it was like the whole world disappeared around them.

When Jake opened his eyes again, he couldn't help but sigh in disappointment as he found himself back at the motel, in front of his computer, alone. He damned himself for allowing his thoughts to get so far away. (Y/N) and her friends were still in danger and Hannah was missing. He couldn't afford getting distracted right now.

Jake ran his hand over his face, trying to regain his focus. Admittedly, that had become his favorite scenario since (Y/N) brought it up to him, and sometimes, when exhaustion took over, he'd find himself getting lost in it.

It was just that it was really a very nice thought.

And he wanted nothing more than to make it a reality.

MASTERLIST

290 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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goatlingsvent · 2 years

Note

God. I know this is such an ironic place to put this but I genuinely hate this blog so much.

And before anyone replies with some stupid shit. Lurking here doesn't automatically mean you're taking part in this shit fest and it's HARD to ignore this blog considering it's so prominent in the goatlings tag. You're also not the better person for acknowledging this blog is a hellhole and that you're a dick.

At this point this blog isn't just complaining about shit on site, which would be fine, it's just people dog piling onto users for the simplest shit. Do you guys listen to what you complain about or do you just like starting random drama without concern of the well being of the user involved? This isn't just letters on a screen, there are people behind usernames, people who are probably as fend up with this shit as I am. I know there are going to be bad people in every community, but this blog has basically become a spot where every bad part of this community is actively thriving and supported. It's not as easy as just ignoring it when it's been so prominent even outside of tumblr. Fuck, I only touched this blog in the first place because I was scared someone was going to say something terrible about me. Which shouldn't be a problem in the first place. This blog shouldn't have gotten to the point where there was ACTUAL hate speech towards disabled and trans people. It shouldn't have gotten to the point where we're cyberbullying people over a goat game so hard they have a mental break down over it. And you guys keep defending the mods of this blog as if they're not actively giving people a source to harrass users and, previously, post hate speech? Which I definitely think would have never been even touched if people didn't point it out. As over used as this is, please go outside if you think any of this shit is normal.

✨

#goatlingsvent

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notbit · 3 months

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❝ that's what i told myself. but, you want to know something i didn't tell you? i never had a plan, i never knew where we were going, i just fought ﹠ fought ﹠ fought ﹠ hoped you didn't notice. hoped i'd find something before you did. did i do a good job? ❞ / portrayed by lyric. *

affiliated with: @pianomanlou, @wasntfair, @stoicbow

{ biography. tags. verses. ad. }

notbit : a love-letter to telltale's clementine of the walking dead franchise, featuring comparative influences by tillie walden's comic-book adaptation. my primary objectives are to represent an exclusive interpretation of clementine that i individualized during my personal playthrough, ﹠ to sate my weird post-apocalyptic enthusiasm by twisting the knife wedged in my eternally writhing heart. minors ﹠ those under 21, neither follow nor interact with this blog as graphic delineations of death, gore, traumatic events ﹠ references to nsfw themes lie below this point.

{ hi, my pseudonym is lyric. i was born in 2000, so i am of-age. please use he / him when addressing me. my timezone is est ﹠ i'm liable to be online in the early mornings, or deep in the night, probably at gargoyle-hours, as my midday schedule is unpredictable to even me. i have adhd ﹠ dyslexia, either of which can cause me to recede from writing at random intervals if i can't focus or i get overwhelmed by my own mistakes. i ask that you be patient with me, as i do make an effort to reply to my roleplay partners in a timely manner.

{ i keep up with the comics ﹠ won't tolerate negative feedback for it, as it has been officiated that they aren't canonically acknowledged, therefore i view them as an alternate universe ﹠ will be writing in that universe, ﹠ liberally drawing inspiration from it.

{ you reserve the right to avoid me ( vice-versa ) should i or my character make you uncomfortable by any means. hardblock me though, because i likely won't notice if you softblock; spare us the awkward refollowing process.

{ i will not write smut with or between minors, ﹠ will only ship clementine with characters that are in her determinant age-range. i will write her no younger than 17, ﹠ you should assume by default that in any thread i write, she is 18. i will otherwise state, or imply it if she isn't 18. i will happily write her as 19/20, or older if requested.

{ i see clementine as the bisexual legend we all need in our lives, ﹠ ship her with both louis ﹠ violet: i am not here to mediate ' fan-wars '. if your character's life, or relationship with clementine depends on a decision in-game, or an alternate outcome from an in-game occurrence, refer to my verses to check if i'm open to plotting around those circumstances.

#pinned /

0 notes

earthwoken · 1 year

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# EARTHWOKEN : an independent , highly selective & mutually exclusive portrayal of ADAM PARRISH from the raven cycle & the dreamer trilogy . written by sofi , 23 , she / her . minors & personals dni.

rules under the cut.

activity.

this blog will be medium to low activity. i can be very slow to reply at times, and i won’t reply in chronological order, but according to my inspiration. please don’t pressure me for replies. i won’t always reply to memes or write all the starters from my starter calls, simply because i don’t always have the time / inspiration. will also drop threads if i’ve had them for too long on my drafts and i’m not feeling inspired to reply. it’s important for me to remember this is a hobby and not a job. however, if we are mutuals then it means i want to interact with you, but sometimes inspiration doesn’t cooperate. we can always plot another thread or you can send me another meme ! <3

following.

this blog is highly selective & mutuals only. it will take me some time before following back, because i like to check out blogs thoroughly before doing so. if i don’t wish to follow back, i will sometimes softblock. this is due to past experiences of non-mutuals interacting with my posts. also, if you’re following me, please make sure it’s because you actually want us to interact ! i’m good at taking the initiative and will usually like starter calls, meme calls and send memes to my new mutuals, but it’s appreciated when the interest is mutual.

shipping.

i am open to romantic shipping depending on chemistry between the muses. adam is bisexual. his feelings for ronan will be acknowledged but that doesn't mean you have to ship with me.

nsfw content.

triggers will be tagged : “tw: trigger”. you’re always welcomed to ask me to tag anything as a trigger warning, i want my blog to be a safe space for everyone. i ask that you tag any mention of disordered eating and that you refrain from mentioning it to me if we are ever plotting and your character suffers from it. nsfw threads will be scarce ( if there’s any at all ) i’m usually not comfortable writing these type of threads, unless we’re very close and i’m comfortable with you.

formatting.

i format my replies a bit. please never feel pressured to match my formatting, if i follow you, it’s because i’m interested in writing with you. i don’t really care that much about aesthetics. if you need me to change anything about my formatting for legibility reasons, please never hesitate to ask.

rp etiquette.

general rp etiquette applies. no god-modding, power-playing, meta-gaming, etc. don’t be a dick and please respect my rules. let’s always interact from a place of mutual respect !

duplicates.

i don’t mind them at all. the way i see it, if we have the same muse it means we have something in common that we can talk about. that being said, i understand not everyone feels the same and i will be hesitant to follow first. if you're okay with duplicates, feel free to follow and let's be friends !

do not interact.

if you’re a minor, personal blog, or if you ship with characters that are abusive / racist / problematic in general. do not interact with my posts if we’re not mutuals. this makes me incredibly uncomfortable and i will hardblock.

about me.

hi! my name is sofi, i’m 22 years old and from chile. my first language is not english, so feel free to let me know if i ever make any grammatical mistakes. my discord is available for mutuals upon request. thank you for taking the time to read my rules and feel free to send me memes whenever !! <3

credits.

psd by ariapsds.

#pinned.#dni with this post.

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inbedlam · 1 year

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temporary rules!

my name is poloma, i am 23 years old and i go by she / they pronouns!

for the most part, this blog will be low activity as i run another blog, however, because it is fairly new replies will be written and posted as normal. in the future replies may run on queue.

i am not affiliated with the creators of the game or anything like that. i simply write the characters from the game that i enjoy!

i won't follow minors or personals, i'll only follow blogs that i would like to interact with! so if you follow me i please ask that you do so with the intention of writing with me. i will almost always approach new followers first since i know we all get anxious about such a thing.

no drama no drama no drama no drama. there are warnings in my pinned about the content that will be featured on this blog so a failure to acknowledge that is on you. i, however, will tag accordingly.

nsfw will be present on this blog, in all forms. i will tag accordingly.

i am private and somewhat selective, meaning i mostly write with friends and friends of friends! but if you happen to stumble across my blog and write ptn muses please follow regardless! i know the fandom isn't that big.

i have discord and give it out when asked!

i love ships. hand them all over. pls n thanks.

i exclusively use beta, i don't have a choice as this is a brand-new blog. if that is an issue for you then don't follow.

interactions can come from anywhere! asks, plotting, opens - even don't be shy to kickstart threads.

don't be an ass. don't be racist, homophobic, or problematic, you know the drill. if you're an ass you will be kicked from my blog. bc i kick ass.

my header and dash icon was created by my beloved @.sozokami

#RULES.

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yde50sullivan · 2 years

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900+ Louis Vuitton Bags Ideas

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

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Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends.

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well.

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling.

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in.

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either.

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss.

@susceptible-but-siriusexual @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @hacker-ghost @itsminniekat @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @the-fuck-up-of-today @slashersdream @chiefwombathoagiepizza @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01

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bunnykawa · 4 years

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what are you doing, step bro? (sakusa x f. reader)

summary: To your parents, Sakusa was the greatest son. To you, he was the best big brother you could’ve ever asked for, but you could only find that out with a little force.

a/n: i literally just started college so i won't have much time to write but i have some stories in my drafts that'll be posted in awhile lol. should i open requests for haikyuu drabbles since they're short but still entertaining?? idek i feel like no one is reading this rn LOL but if anyone is reading this, lmk ;)

(edit: I HAD TO REPOST THIS CS IT WASNT SHOWING UP IN TAGS so sorry if you already liked this post)

warnings: 18+, incest, mentions of drugging, mentions of somnophilia, mentions of parental neglect, noncon/dubcon/rape, sakusa is a dirty pervert i just don’t know how else to tag this, degradation, slight manipulation

"(Y/N), this is your new big brother, Kiyoomi," your mother said, holding tightly onto your small shoulders as you stood in front of her.

"You can refer to him as your nii-san from now on." Locking eyes with you was an older boy with long black wavy hair, two moles on the right side of his forehead, and a white face mask on the lower half of his face which blocked his nose and mouth. How odd, you thought. You could tell he was disinterested with how his eyes were blank as he stared at you.

That was the first time meeting your step brother, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

Being four years younger than Sakusa, you two never really got along. Of course you had to respect each other, but there was nothing to really talk about other than when his volleyball games were or unfulfilling small talks. Sometimes he would make snide remarks, asking if you even showered when your hair was only slightly messy or if a smart word ever came out of your mouth when you stumbled over your words. Sometimes he was just mean to you in general to the point where you would cry. You always tried to ignore it, though. That was when you were younger. You couldn’t help that you weren’t that smart and he was your nii-san after all. Your parents would brush it off.

You celebrated his victories together, only because you had to. I mean, you were the younger sister of one of the nation's top three aces in high school volleyball. There was no way your parents wouldn't celebrate. He was their pride and joy.

Smart, athletic, incredibly attractive — everything you felt like you could never live up to.

Your own biological mom so obviously and painfully liked him more than you.

Before you even entered high school, Sakusa was old enough to move out and go to college where he continued to play volleyball. When he visited during the holidays, you still wouldn't have decent conversations with him. He would still insult you. It even made you cringe when you had to call him nii-san. Why address him as your older brother when he didn't even act like it?

But you dealt with it because you had to.

Fresh out of Itachiyama Academy, you're focused on studying for entrance exams for colleges in your area rather than what would happen if you ever had to see Sakusa again. But, you were expecting to see him very soon.

Gentle knocks are heard from outside your door and before you can respond, your mom is already opening it.

"(Y/N), Omi is coming today and he's gonna be here for a week. I have to go to the grocery store to buy food and I'm gonna run other errands so it's gonna take awhile," she says, leaning her head into your room. You respond multiple times with "okay" so she can leave your room sooner.

Textbooks and notebooks are strewn across your bed with you on your stomach, trying to cram as much information in your head as possible.

"That means I might not be here in time for when he comes, so you have to open the door and greet him," she adds.

"What about dad?" you ask with a grimace. The most you would do is say hello and scurry back into your room.

She rolls her eyes at you. "He's working late again. You know that, (Y/N)." With a sigh, you agree and she finally leaves your room after bidding you a "goodbye."

You can't remember the last time you saw Sakusa, but it was probably almost half a year ago. Ever since he left for college, your parents were even more distant towards you. They probably felt like they didn't need to worry about you because you weren't doing anything important.

When Sakusa came over, he barely acknowledged you and you were okay with that because it meant he wouldn't be bothering you.

But that didn't mean his blank stare wouldn't catch your attention whenever you came out of your room to eat or use the restroom. The atmosphere felt...very odd around him. You couldn't necessarily come up with a reason why.

Suddenly, you hear knocking on the front door. It had to be at least an hour or two since your mom left and the thought of who was waiting at the door made your stomach churn.

"Nii-san is here," you mutter to yourself as you got up to open the door. Right as you open the door, Sakusa was staring down at you with the same blankness in his eyes from before with his usual face mask. His hair was shorter than you remember.

Mindlessly, his eyes seem to scan your body before returning to your face, making you feel self-conscious. You were only wearing black spandex shorts and a loose tank top. Subconsciously, you rub your arm and step back to make space.

"(Y/N)," Sakusa acknowledges you in a deadpan voice. It's no surprise to you.

"Hi, onii-san. How are you?" You try so hard to be polite, but Sakusa seemed to have a naturally dominant energy that overwhelmed your senses, even if he also seemed to have the personality of a jar of mayonnaise. You step aside so he can come in. He wore gray sweatpants and a black windbreaker that was zipped up all the way. As soon as he makes it inside, he removes his face mask, stuffs it in his pocket, and starts unzipping his jacket.

"I'm good," he hums, "Where's mom?" He places the backpack he was carrying on the couch and takes a seat as you close the door.

"She's out doing errands and dad is working. Do you want some tea?"

"Yes, please. Make sure you wash your hands before you do. Thank you," he said. You walk into the kitchen, muttering "germaphobe" under your breath at his extra request. Unbeknownst to you, he watched you from his place on the couch as you walked around the kitchen, pulling the tea kettle out of one of the bottom cabinets and looking for cups. His gaze followed the outline of your ass in those tiny shorts that hugged your bottom tightly.

"What college are you planning on going to, (Y/N)?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I'm applying to the college you're going to and three others," you replied from your spot near the counter.

Sakusa actually perks up at your answer. "Oh, cool. You'll love it there if you get in. Only if, though. You're not the brightest."

You couldn't help but let your face fall in a frown at his seemingly small comment. Quickly, you compose yourself and brush off his remark. You got the water boiling in the tea kettle and reached high for the teacups that were sitting on the top cabinets. Your stepdad definitely put them up there.

A presence looms close behind you, which makes your whole body automatically freeze and tense up. A veiny, bulky arm reaches up easily to grab the teacups while another one snakes around you to pull your tank top down as it was exposing your stomach. You're not sure if you're imagining it, but you definitely feel something stiff brushing up against your back.

"You need to be careful. Don't wanna hurt yourself, do you?" Sakusa commented, leaning forward so his mouth was right next to your ear. A blush found its way onto your cheeks from feeling him so close to you.

He usually hated being so close to people. What was so different today?

"R-right," you stuttered, "Thank you, nii-san."

Confrontation wasn't a strong trait of yours.

You guess that moment was when it started getting really weird between you two. You still had small talks from whenever he would actually see you come out of your room, but you wanted to avoid him as much as you could. However, that was hard when Sakusa insisted that you drank tea together every night and, of course, your parents insisted, too.

Your nii-san wants to spend more time with you, they would say excitedly. Better late than never!

Maybe if he was showing the slightest bit of interest in you, your parents would finally care about you. So, with much hesitation, you started drinking tea with your step brother every night. Sakusa even made the tea himself so his poor little sister wouldn't tire herself out with carrying that heavy teapot.

You're still not sure if you're imagining things, but the tea tasted different from how you made it. And you swear that the tea didn't make you so sleepy after drinking it until he started making it.

"Come here," Sakusa would say with a smirk, "Onii-san will take you to bed."

You would pass out before you even made it to bed, but every morning you woke up with sticky thighs, only blaming it on sweating while you were sleeping.

Until one day, you didn't drink all the tea that he made you. You still fell asleep, though. Your brain was hazy enough to make you lose consciousness as he helped you up from your seat in the kitchen.

Sakusa laid next to you on your bed. You were placed on your side so he could slide under the sheets right behind you to press his hardened length against your ass. This was his favorite part of the night. He spent a few minutes playing with your cunt to make it slick enough for him to let his cock break through your walls.

You barely stirred awake. Didn't even move an inch as he caressed every part of your body, from your soft nipples to the sensitive nub between your thighs.

He pushed the elastic of his sweatpants down to his thighs quickly. His cock hit your ass before settling between your folds. A satisfied moan leaves his lips when he feels your wetness coating the top part of his shaft as he rubbed it against you. He hooked his arm around one of your legs so that you were spread open enough for him to fuck you and rub your clit at the same time with his other hand.

He wanted that sweet nectar completely coating his dick. He remembers the way you tasted and how you came on his tongue the night before, despite being blacked out from the little pills he would dissolve in your drinks. You tasted so clean and smelled so fresh. It was impossible for your nii-san to control himself around you.

And when did your ass look so good? God...Sakusa couldn't believe he never noticed how cute and well-shaped you were. You weren't that little girl he met when you were both kids. You were pushing adulthood now. Still pathetic looking, still too shy, still small around him, but fuck, he definitely would have pushed you over the counter the first day he came over and fucked you until you were crying and gagging.

He continued rubbing circles onto your clit and letting his cock soak up your juices. Gently, he positions the tip at your entrances and pushes in slowly.

"There you go," he whispers in your ear, "I know it's a little big. Don't worry."

He manages to fill you up all the way, making him groan. Your walls were tight around him. He thrusts in and out of you carefully, salvaging the feeling of your slick interior.

But you didn't drink all the tea, which means that you could wake up earlier than he expected.

Sakusa didn't expect you to wake up now.

You stirred slightly as you regained consciousness. Although your eyelids were heavy, you tried to force them open only to be met with darkness.

"Mmm," you croaked, rubbing your eyes. The odd feeling of being filled up suddenly made you wake up more. "W-what's going on?"

"Fuck," Sakusa muttered from behind you. You felt a hard chest pressed against your back and...a hand on your pussy. No, something inside your pussy. And that voice was so familiar.

You quickly whip your head around when the realization dawns on you. What the fuck is happening? While your eyes adjust to the dark room, you see two familiar eyes staring straight back at you. He stopped grinding his hips against you for a moment as if time stopped.

"...Nii-san?" you hesitated. His breathing was heavy and he stayed silent.

"Nii-san, what are you doing?" you asked in a panicked voice. You quickly tried to get up from your position, only to be held down by Sakusa’s muscular arms. His hand wrapped itself over your lips to prevent you from screaming.

“Be a good girl and stay quiet, (Y/N),” he whispered. A muffled scream tries to escape your lips. He continued to fuck you slowly, leaving a burning feeling in your walls. The same sore feeling that you would sometimes wake up to within the past few days.

For a moment, you pry his fingers off of your mouth. "I don't understand...Why are you...?" You yelped in surprise, horror, and pleasure as he delivered a sharp thrust from behind you. The smack of his hips against your bare ass made you cringe and feel so disgusted with yourself. Nii-san is actually inside me.

"My poor little sister," he chucked darkly. He suddenly wraps his arm around your knee tighter and forces your legs wide open, your knee almost touching your chest. Instead of putting his hand over your mouth to shut you up, he kneads your breast. His hands were so large.

"You think you can walk around the house looking like a little slut in those tiny shorts?" He stretches you open with his hard cock with slow, yet hard, thrusts. It left your mouth agape, but no sounds left your throat except for small squeaks that you couldn't hold back. "You stupid bitch. Just as dumb as I could remember. Fuck, you don't know how much I wanted to bend you over and fill you up with my cum like the stupid, desperate slut you are."

He was satisfied as you were barely fighting him. All you did was desperately search for something to hold onto and bite your lip because you were so scared. His words were painful. "Look at you. A waste of fucking space, only good as a fuck hole. Didn't even realize she was getting drugged and getting fucked every night because she's so fucking stupid."

Weak. That was all your brain was telling you, mocking you, as Sakusa didn't stop moving against you and insulting you. This wasn't the first time. It just so happened that this time you were able to wake up.

"I-I..." you stuttered, "I'll...I'll tell mom and dad." The sheets were gripped tightly between your fingers. "I'll tell them- mmmm...what nii-san has been doing to me..."

"If you tell mom and dad, they wouldn't even care," Sakusa said in a patronizing tone. The way his hand was caressing you made you wanna cry.

“They would!”

"Mom and dad don't even treat you like a daughter, (Y/N). When was the last time they told you they loved you?" Even if his question was rhetorical, your mind went completely blank. You can't recall a moment where they ever told you they loved you.

"B-but, this isn't right! You're not supposed to be doing this," you argued. It was a surprise that your mind wasn't completely clouded by how big his cock was and how his thrusts felt almost hateful.

"You think they would choose your side? You'd be ruining your own life. Maybe you'd ruin mine. And it'd be. All. Your. Fault." With each syllable, his movements became sharper. "You don't wanna betray your nii-san by saying something, do you?"

"You love your nii-san, right?"

You do. You love him so much, even if you tried to avoid him and he never said a single good thing to you in your whole damn life.

Because you have to love him.

You stopped gripping on the sheets to the point where your knuckles were turning ghostly white to brush away the tears rolling down your cheeks. Your body shook, from both crying because of Sakusa's painful words and how hard he was fucking you. The pleasure building up in your core was overwhelming you, making that intense feeling of having to pee forced out of you.

Hearing your sniffles and small cries, Sakusa pulls you even tighter against him, but doesn't stop his relentless thrusting. It turned him on even more. He pushes your hand to brush away your tears for you, like good big brothers should.

"It's okay, (Y/N). We both know mom and dad don't love you."

A loud cry erupted from your chest. Maybe if your parents cared about you, they'd be running to your room to save you the second you started crying. But, no. Sakusa was basking in the fact that you were hurting on the inside. After years of negligent silence, you were finally letting it all out.

"But nii-san loves you," he said with a smile.

Although his words seemed to stun your entire being, you manage to choke out a "What?" Like it was the first time someone ever told you that they love you.

His torturous thrusts almost distracted you. Fuck, why did it feel so good to have your step brother fucking you on your side like this?

"I love you." He sweetly grabs your face so you can turn your head to look at him. There was a pounding in your ears coming straight from your chest. A warm feeling spreads throughout your stomach.

"You...you love me, nii-san?"

"Of course I do." He was actually smiling at you, "If I didn't, would I be inside you right now?"

His face didn't seem so blank anymore. Sakusa never ever smiled at you. Hell, he never really smiled in general. Someone actually loved you. Holy shit. And he was even pounding away at your insides like you were a fuck doll.

Is that why he's so mean? Was he just trying to hide his feelings for you this whole time? You could die laughing right now. His cock felt so damn good rearranging your guts against your will yet you were struggling to accept it.

Your cheeks naturally puffed up in happiness as you smiled so brightly at him. The flip switched in your brain so easily. Without another word, Sakusa kissed you passionately, because he knew you would let him continue to ravage your body. Your hips began to buck from the pressure building up in your lower half and you starting pushing your hips towards him, welcoming his length inside you. It felt like you needed more of him. More of his love.

Love me.

"Nii-san," you gasped against his lips. His movements never faltered, which you figured was from his amazing athletic ability and stamina.

"Be a good little sister and cum on my cock," he coaxed. He could tell you were so close to cumming from how tightly your precious cunt was hugging his length and how you were squirming against him. You were both slick with sweat. As you started squirming more violently against him, Sakusa tightened his grip on you.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whined desperately, “Nii-san, I’m gonna cum!” You grabbed his arms and pushed your fingernails into his skin, making him hiss from the sudden pain. With a firm grip over your mouth, he muffles your screams. Satisfaction settled in your stomach as you exploded all over his cock. Your sweet juices trailed down your thighs onto the bedsheets.

As much as Sakusa wanted to, he couldn’t fill up your insides and see your hole dripping with his cum just yet. He quickly pulls out of you and lets his seed shoot onto the bare skin of your ass. The shock of your orgasm left your thighs trembling, your skin wet, and your eyes drooping.

“You’re the best little sister.”

You would’ve replied, but you could barely form any words as you lost consciousness again. When you woke up the next morning, you were fully dressed and cleaned up, with no stickiness between your thighs like how you used to wake up.

Sakusa actually cleaned you up this time. You felt your heart melt and butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Everything seemed to go back to normal between you two, with the same small talks and not really seeing each other often, but he always had a knowing smirk on his face whenever he saw you.

Whenever his eyes would trail up your body to meet yours, you could feel a warmth in your stomach spread all throughout your body which forced you to look away quickly. Whenever he insulted you, you would feel your thighs press together. Whenever you caught yourself admiring his features when he replaced his face mask for a new one, you smiled softly to yourself.

When it was time for him to leave, you couldn’t help but let a few tears shed. He was all set to go, with his backpack on and his mask covering his face.

“Hey, don’t cry, (Y/N),” he cooed, wiping your tears away, “You know I won’t be gone forever.”

You sniffled, “I know. I just hate being here alone.” Well, not necessarily alone. You just hated being ignored and neglected just because you weren’t your brother.

“If you manage to get into my college, you can move in with me. How does that sound?” You instantly perk up and dry your tears with your shirt.

"Really?!” you asked with excitement. You imagine all the things you could do with your nii-san without your parents in the picture. You could go out together, hold hands, share kisses, just about anything. He could even fuck you whenever he wants.

These thoughts about your own step brother would've made you feel sick before.

But that was before you knew Sakusa loved you. Now, you couldn't help but ask your mom when the next time your nii-san would be coming to visit. While you were waiting for his next visit, you studied hard.

College would be so much fun with your nii-san with you!

Part 2

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darlingmystic · 2 years

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listen this is NOT discourse in the sense that I’m trying to start shit but I’m going to tag it as that bc it’s a musing some may stone me to death for having. But is it just me or is c3 kind of… underwhelming? And yes it may be bc it’s starting just now I’m not going to have a close casket funeral for it so soon but like yesterday a new ep dropped and the fandom is… kinda silent? It’s like people aren’t as avid for it like we were for c2 (even the beginning). I used to make myself stay awake for c2 bc the entire thing just held my attention and honestly I can’t watch 10 minutes of c3 without losing focus. I don’t know if it’s the characters or the story but I’m just not vibing with it. The whole “all bets are off” and “bringing a new twist to the table” are fun ideas in theory but not necessarily in execution. “If it ain’t broke”, right? It feels like it’s been over a month and nothing interesting happened. And I’d say this is a personal opinion but seeing the reaction of the fandom around me kind of makes me wonder if it isn’t something other people are feeling too? Did you guys to just move on from cr (valid) or do you feel like there’s something missing in this campaign too?

Also please don’t reply to this post with “you dumb person it’s their game stop being annoying/stupid” bc I’ll not acknowledge it and you might as well just scroll past this if me not agreeing with you bothers you this much.

#cr discourse #critical role discourse #cr disk horse

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tua-masked-author · 3 years

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The Masked Author Official Rules

Season One: Gen June

GIF credit to @circumstellars

Can I take part?

Yes! If you have an Archive Of Our Own (AO3) account, you are welcome to submit a fic. Whether or not you submit anything, you can participate in guessing authors (you do not need an AO3 account just to guess!)

What type of fic / how many words can I write?

You may submit a maximum of two fics to the event.

Fics must be posted to our Ao3 collection between Saturday, June 19th-Friday, June 25th (you may post earlier, but it will not be revealed until the nineteenth) and conform to the following standards:

The main fandom must be The Umbrella Academy

Rating: General audiences, Teen or Mature. No explicit fics for Gen June, sorry!

Be categorised as ��Gen’. That means no shipping, or romantic/sexual relationships (more detail given later in the post)

No minimum word count - drabbles, oneshots and multi-chapter fics are all welcome.

Maximum word count: Whilst your fic can be as long as you like, you may only post a maximum of the first 15,000 words during the event (doesn’t matter if that is a single or multiple chapters). This is to keep things as fair as possible and give readers the chance to read as many fics as possible during the event. Once the event is finished and authors revealed, you can continue to post the rest of your fic as you please.

Canon compliant or AU - the choice is yours! We don’t mind if you write a missing scene from season 2 or a whole AU where the academy are renowned bank robbers.

What is ‘Gen’ anyway?

Background relationships should be a minor component of the fic if they exist.

To this end we would request that background relationships remain canon compliant if possible.

A Genfic should be a look at a character that is separate from romantic/sexual influences.

If Klaus is pining after Dave and thinking about Dave, that would disqualify it as Gen, sorry!

However, if it’s just acknowledging that Klaus and Dave were together previously until Dave died, but here is a whole story where we look at Klaus without his feelings for Dave playing a significant role, then that counts

I have no ideas!

Never fear - we have a list of over 100 community-submitted prompts and suggestions that you can view here.* The prompt list is entirely optional - if you have your own ideas you are welcome to use them

How do I “win”?

First off, this isn’t a competition - it’s just a fun community event and guessing game - however:

Decide what ‘winning’ would mean to you - would you enjoy it most if people correctly guessed you as the author of your fic, or would you find it more fun to imitate somebody else to try tricking people into thinking they wrote your fic?

You can write in your own style, try imitating somebody else, or take the opportunity to try something new - however you would like to play!

Can I reply to comments/promote my fic during the event?

Yes! During the event the collection will be set to anonymous, meaning your replies on your own fic will show up as ‘anonymous creator’.

You obviously cannot openly promote your fic on your own tumblr during the event as it would spoil the secrecy, but you can share the collection link and say you are participating!

There will be a Google Form to fill out if you would like your fic to be promoted through our tumblr.

How does guessing work?

You do not have to submit a fic to take part. This is an event for the readers just as much as for the authors!

From Saturday, June 26th to Friday, July 9th, a Google form listing all participating authors will become available. You can submit a ballot trying to match as many of the authors as possible to the fics.

This is sponsored by the Elliott’s House Discord server. You do not need to be a member of the server to take part, because everything will be announced via this official Tumblr; however, if you are 18+ and willing to ship and let ship (or not ship, in this case!), then feel free to join us to wildly speculate on identities!

Whilst you are allowed to freely discuss the fics on the server, any direct guesses and speculation about who the author may be should be put in spoiler tags

Authors are allowed to play dirty and try to throw people off the scent by guessing other authors for their own fic / other tactics of choice

You may only submit one official guessing form

On Sunday, July 11th, we will announce the person(s) with the most correct guesses - first prize is bragging rights!

#tua masked author #s1 gen june #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #tua #tua fic #tua fanfic #tua fandom #rules

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amalthea-201801 · 3 years

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Daiya No A - Act II Chapter 256 (Spoilers!!!): DNA turning into a 100k Slowburn Fanfic with Angst as the Main Tag

"Eijun stops rambling and stands frozen midstep of the stairs as he heard Miyuki's words."

(Miyuki then expounds his thoughts.)

(And then BAM, his real thoughts.)

“Eijun doesn't know what to think when he hears that, really. Eyes wide, as he stares at those backs he'd been chasing since the start and somehow had shorten the distance over time with blood and sweat, feels as though as it never shrunk in the first place.”

“With the clench in his chest, thoughts unable to form inside his head, words suddenly swallowed and had never had the chance to be uttered ...”

“... at last, Eijun' s body makes a move to turn around.”

(Eijun not hearing the next words being uttered.)

“Eijun sits at the bottom of the dorm's staircase, mulling over his thoughts.”

“He remembers that time at the cafeteria where Miyuki was asked about his thoughts on the pros ...

Head hanging, eyes shadowed by the darkness and this bangs, he thinks back to the time he sees Miyuki practicing hard and still tries to accomodate his requests.”

“And then ...”

“...”

🙂 😐 😔 🙁 ☹️ 😢 😭

It may have been spontaneous in Miyuki's part to tell Furuya his thoughts since he coincidentally came to him first and maybe it didn't really matter to him who he told first his true thoughts or it may been he's kinda also expecting Furuya won't really give him any serious reply (I mean in Miyuki's standards because kid's really serious just wanting to think about the present just like Eijun) and deep inside miyuki also is expecting that so it may been another reason for him to tell Furuya ..

Oh sh*t! I can't, sorry .. Like what the ..? Huh ..?

What is this ''feeling'' am I feeling ..???

But bloody hell ..

Why did Eijun have to hear it now ..

And it's being said to his number 1 rival, not that it's anybody's fault, but the timing really sucks men ..(-_-)

Like Eijun always wanted acknowledgement from Miyuki (which by the way Miyuki had long done) but to Eijun, things such as confiding about important matters such as this is how he would feel he is really acknowledged, even though it may never have occurred to him before but had been present in his subconciousness all this time ..

(These next paragraphs came from my comment in another soc.med. where I posted some of my thought when the translated chapter hasn't been released and I had painstakingly read the hiragana and katakana only but I just want to add it here)

Sawamura just came from a no-name school (in terms of baseball achievement) since he just built up the team himself together with his friends, of course for him, the thought of going pro suddenly is confusing and overwhelming since he'd always been a guy thinking of the present so he can contribute to the team and asides from being the ace, if you maybe didn't notice, he always thought about his senpais like it would be their last game if they lose so he had to do his best so he can stay together with them even just a game longer ..

Sawamura really gives importance to his teammates and friends and he really treasures the bond he forms with his current teammates ..

It's not like Sawamura had wanted him and Miyuki to be on the same page, he really just wanted Miyuki's acknowledgement and for Eijun, that acknowledgement is not something that would come from words ..

It would come from actions and this time, in his subconsciousness, that action is Miyuki talking to him especially if it's about important aspirations for the future that's why he is disappointed he just heard it and the fact that it coincidentally came from Miyuki and Furuya talking to each other, his rival pitcher at the same year and same age ..

If he just heard it from Miyuki telling Nori or Kuramochi or Zono or Nabe or any senpai of his, it wouldn't matter to him really, he would just be pondering about if he would also seek the same path of being pro ..

On the next pages wherein there's a flashback of strong pitchers and then Furuya, it's along the lines of 'and there is also this great pitcher in here' which refers to Furuya, he just somehow equates that maybe because he's still not that level yet that maybe Miyuki hadn't been able to confide in him ..

And another thing, Eijun aiming the ace number had been his goal and like a promise to himself and his friends from the start ..

It had not been his goal to be ace just because he wanted Miyuki's acknowledgement ..

it just his goals coincidentally coincides with each other, at first it was like a separate thing, wanting to fulfill his first and foremost shouted goal because of his promise to his friends and wanting Miyuki's acknowledgment ..

But as we can see, somewhere down those two paths, the end was the same ..

But in their reality, it was not ..

Because as you can see, even though Eijun already had the ace number he still didn't feel acknowledged ..

But of course, Miyuki had long acknowledged him but you know, every person's standards and level of parameters is not the same when it comes to these sentiments such as 'acknowledging' so yeah of course they won't match in that, too ..

This chapter is messing up my head like why does this have to be last chapter before the break???

Anyways, my head and heart hurts so yeah ..

See you later ..😶😶😶

P.S. TJ-sensei, the no.1 angst and romance fanfic author, please have mercy on us ..xDxDxD

#miyusawa #Misawa #sawamura eijun #miyuki kazuya #furuya satoru getitng dragged between the tension between these two #seriously he just wants to play without the drama #but EIjun and Miyuki making things compilcated UNINTENTIONALLY #daiya no ace act ii #TJ-sensei giving as TOPNOTCH ANGST #TJ-sensei i love u but i hate u #thanks but no thanks #sorry not sorry #please rest as well as you do your research so you may continue to play our offered hearts in the palm of your hand

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criminalmindzjunkie · 4 years

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The Reward of Suffering

next chapter

Summary: A retelling of the events of season 12 episode 13.

Gif credit to the wonderful and talented @imagining-in-the-margins

A/N: After several months of contemplation, I have finally decided to post part one of my first ever fic on Tumblr! This fic will follow the event of Spencer’s prison arc, so needless to say there will be SPOILERS. This first part is super long, but I felt that it needed to be in order to set up the plot. I hope you all enjoy reading! If you would like to be tagged on future updates, let me know!

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Fem! Reader

Warnings: no smut (yet), mentions of past frug use, cursing, typical CM case talk

Word count: 12.1k

“Reid is in jail.”

I felt the color immediately drain from my face and an intense feeling of dread began to wash through my body. I sat up in my chair, back ramrod straight. I briefly looked towards the faces of my teammates, Luke and JJ to my left and Penelope to my right. Their faces were all contorted, displaying varying degrees of shock and confusion. It was hard for any of us to process what we were hearing. The idea of Spencer Reid, the same Spencer who wore a mask to the office on Halloween and put on elaborate magic shows for everyone’s children, doing anything that would warrant being put behind bars was preposterous.

Surely, this is all just a big misunderstanding.

“Jail?” Penelope squeaked out. My eyes flitted to her, taking note of the way her eyebrows were drawn together in disbelief. She was thinking the same thing I’m sure we all were; that there was no way Spencer Reid had engaged in any illegal activity. Spencer was a well-educated, highly regarded FBI agent, for Christ sake. He knew the laws of the land better than any of us.

“In Mexico.”

My attention focused solely on Emily. In the few weeks since I had come to know her, I had begun to look at her not only as a sort of fearless leader, but also as a kind of fiercely loyal friend that I was incredibly lucky to have. Emily somehow managed to find the perfect balance between being accommodating and stern. She was the kind of boss you could have a drink and cut up with after a long day, but she also carried herself in a way that demanded the utmost respect in the workplace. Emily Prentiss’s bravery was unmatched, and I admired her for that.

It shook me to my core when her eyes met mine and I saw the pure, unbridled fear in them. If Emily was scared, then this must be leagues worse than we could have ever imagined.

“What the hell is he doing down there?” JJ asked, crossing her arms and shuffling from one foot to the other.

“I don’t know. I didn’t talk to him. The call came in to Cruz from their lead investigator.”

Luke was the next to chime in. “What’s he being held for?”

“Drug possession,” Rossi said, before taking on, “with intent to distribute.”

For the second time that day, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Images of Spencer sitting across from me in a dimly lit coffee shop, tripping over his words as he confided in me, spilling his deepest and darkest secrets in a voice barely above a whisper. His voice had grown stronger as he neared the end of his story and he had dug deep in his satchel, producing a small golden coin. We both had tears in our eyes as we looked at the writing engraved into the coin; unity, service recovery. Spencer Reid was ten years sober, and the pride on his face was as clear as day.

There was no way he would throw all of that away.

“What type of drugs?”

“Cocaine and heroin,” Rossi said, his voice shaky.

Rossi and Spencer had always had a good relationship. Spencer had admired his work long before he met him, having read and reread every book he had ever published. It had delighted Spencer that he and Rossi had managed to develop rapport so quickly. Rossi was the only one talented enough at the game of chess to even think of giving Spencer a run for his money, though many of us had tried. In one of many hushed conversations shared on the jet, he had once told me that he had begun to think of Rossi as somewhat of a father figure; he didn’t quite fill the role in the same way Gideon had, but Spencer was thankful just the same. One look at Rossi’s troubled expression was enough to tell me that the feelings were definitely mutual.

“Oh my God. This can’t be happening.” JJ was positively crestfallen, clutching a hand against her own chest in an attempt to ground herself. Her other hand came up to her face as she absentmindedly pushed her hair away.

“We need Lewis and Walker here, ASAP,” Emily directed her order and Penelope, who was quick to comply.

Everyone sprang into action, but I found myself unable to move, weighed down by the deeply unsettling circumstance. It felt as if I was no longer in my own body, like I was watching everything unfold from an outsider’s perspective. Maybe I am, I thought. Maybe this is all just some horrible nightmare. Any second now, my alarm will go off and this will all be over.

I waited and waited for my alarm to sound, but that never happened. Instead, Emily crouched down in front of me, grasping my arm firmly in her right hand.

“I know how devastated you must be. Trust me, I do,” she sympathized, her deep brown eyes boring into my own. “But Reid’s going to need you now more than ever. You’re his best friend and you know him better than anyone. Did he ever mention to you that he was going to Mexico?”

I shook my head numbly, my motions feeling alien and stilted.

“Never. He told me the same thing he told you; that he was going to Houston for a few days to meet with his mother’s doctor,” I whispered. I feared that if I raised my voice any higher, tears would begin to fall. Maintaining my composure was becoming harder with every passing second, and I wasn’t exactly privy to breaking down in front of my boss. “I guess I don’t know him as well as I thought.”

Emily sighed, letting go of my arm before straightening up.

“Apparently, none of us did. But I know damn well that this has to be a mistake. We’ll get him out of this.”

The apprehension in her voice told me that even she wasn’t sure we could pull this one off.

“This has got to be Scratch,” Tara stated, her voice wafting through the speakers of Luke’s laptop. Emily, Rossi, Luke and I were currently in the jet, on our way to the jail where Spencer was being held. All of us were huddled close together around the computer, listening on with eager ears. “He was laying low, and now we know why.”

“Crossing the border as a fugitive is a huge risk,” Luke pointed out.

“The reward is even greater. He’s been punishing the team, and now his target is Reid.” Emily’s voice was full of frustration and contempt.

“Peter Lewis dropped off the map after attacking Tara’s family,” Stephen chimed in. Not even his deep baritone voice could do anything to calm my frazzled nerves. “Maybe he’s been hiding in Mexico this whole time.”

“We also have to consider that it isn’t related to him,” I murmured. Several pairs of eyes locked on me, shocked. I had been uncharacteristically quiet since this whole ordeal began, limiting my responses to one word replies and hums of acknowledgement. On a normal day, I’d be throwing in my two cents any time I saw fit. Today, I was struggling just to keep breathing.

“Who else would it be?” Rossi asked.

“Drug cartels. Could’ve threatened Reid and used him as a mule.” Saying his name was painful, because it reminded me that we weren’t just talking about a victim with whom we had no personal ties; we were talking about our colleague and beloved friend.

“Agreed,” Rossi nodded. “This could simply be a case of bad luck. Reid was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Spencer’s mom is okay.” JJ’s announcement was like music to my ears. I let out an audible sigh of relief. “The home nurse he hired said all is stable.”

“How long did he tell the nurse he’d be gone?”

“Three days.”

“That sounds reasonable. After the Palm Springs case, Reid said he had to get back to Houston to talk to his mom’s doctor,” Emily interjected. I nodded along in agreement. He’d told me the same thing when I talked to him the night before last.

The fatigue in his voice had alerted me to the fact that things hadn’t been going so well with his mother. Her condition had been rapidly deteriorating in the recent months, prompting Spencer to make the tough decision to remove her from the assisted living facility she was at and into his own apartment. His main argument had been that no one could possibly take better care of his mother that him; that he was familiar with her condition and how best to respond when she had an episode. When I had asked him how he was handling it all, he was quick to reassure me that it was not anything he couldn’t handle.

Spencer’s loyalty ran deep; so deep that I knew he would do anything in his power to take care of Diana, but I’d never imagined that it would land him in fucking jail.

“Well, Houston is only a five-hour drive from the border,” Tara mused. “The question is, why did he go down there?”

“And why does he have narcotics?” Rossi was the first to speak on what was at the forefront of everyone’s mind.

“Yeah, exactly. He wouldn’t… He wouldn’t do that. Those drugs were planted on him,” Penelope insisted.

“Absolutely, but there’s something bigger in play. That’s why he crossed the border and kept it a secret. There’s something he didn’t want to share with any of you.”

I cringed at Stephen’s choice of wording. Spencer and I were as close as two people could be, and there was nothing I withheld from him. He knew everything about me, every dark and embarrassing thought that had ever crossed my mind; yet, he accepted me just the same. I had always assumed that it went both ways, that he was just as honest and forthcoming with me as I was with him. It hurt to know that there were things he kept from me, secrets that he felt he couldn’t trust me with.

But most of all, it absolutely gutted me to think that he was dealing with something so horrible that it landed him in jail, and he that he had to do it all alone.

“Okay, so what would make him risk everything?” Emily pondered aloud.

“His mom.” My answer was instantaneous.

A ping sounded from the other end of the video call, and we all leaning in, our interest piqued.

“Cruz just sent me the arresting report,” Penelope announced, clicking away at her computer before continuing. “It says here that Reid was involved in a high-speed chase.”

“What?” I choked out, my voice coming out several pitches higher than usual. “Spencer hardly ever drives.” I could feel my stomach begin to churn, bile threatening to force its way up my esophagus. This isn’t right, I wanted to scream. Our Spencer would never get himself involved in something that would put himself or others at risk.

“None of this sounds like him,” Penelope whispered, her thoughts mimicking my own. “It says he was wearing jeans and a baseball cap and that he was really confused. According to the arresting officer, he was really high on something.”

Unity, service, respect; ten years sober. All down the fucking drain.

I shot up from my seat, bolting down the walkway and into the bathroom. I immediately fell to my knees, barely managing to push my hair out of the way before retching into the toilet bowl. I continued like this for several minutes, only pausing momentarily when I felt large, soothing hands running up and down my back. Soft murmurings of reassurance alerted me to the fact that it was Luke who was sitting with me. I let out a strained ‘thank you’ before another wave of nausea hit me, rendering me speechless. Luke held my hair back, never once leaving my side.

When I had thrown up the entirety of my breakfast and all I could do was dry heave, I slumped back against the wall, relishing in how cool it felt against my flushed skin. A stretch of silence passed before he decided to break it.

“That was an extreme reaction,” Luke pointed out, still sitting in the floor with his legs crisscrossed. I noticed how closely he was watching me, his eyes focused on reading my expressions. He was profiling me, that much was obvious. It was an unspoken rule between us all that we would never profile one another, but any fight I had left in me had long since dissipated.

“He worked so hard to get clean, Luke. I wasn’t around when it happened, but he told me about it. He was so proud of himself,” I whispered. My throat was now raw and my voice came out more than a little bit hoarse.

Luke’s eyebrows came together, confusion clear on his face.

“Get clean? What are you talking about?”

I let out a shuddery breath. It felt wrong to divulge information on Spencer’s personal life; like I was betraying his trust. Given the circumstance, I supposed he wouldn’t mind, but it still felt treacherous and left a bad taste in my mouth. Sorry, Spence.

“Ten years ago, Reid was kidnapped by an unsub with DID. He kept him in a remote cabin for several days, alternating between beating him senseless and shooting him full of so much hydromorphone that he couldn’t remember his own name. At one point, he even,” I trailed off, hot tears spilling out of my eyes and running down my cheeks. Luke took my hand in his in an act of reassurance, his way of telling me not to rush. Luke hadn’t been with us for long, and our interactions thus far hadn’t gone much farther than conversations about work. Seeing the way he was offering himself up to me as a confidant and shoulder to cry on made me feel guilty for ever having written him off.

Thank God for Luke Alvez.

After a long pause, I managed to continue. “Spencer ended up having a seizure and he died for several minutes. The unsub’s more benevolent personality, Tobias, was able to resuscitate him. Eventually Spencer was able to take him down, but the trauma mixed with the exposure to such a highly addictive drug led to him developing a dependence on it.”

Luke swore and ran a hand through his hair.

“I never would’ve guessed it. The kid carries himself so well.”

A small, fond smile tugged at the corner of my lips.

“He’s amazing, really. He detoxed all by himself and started going to NA meetings. This past October marked ten years. We celebrated by going to one of those really fancy museums he likes and he insisted on taking the guided tour so that he could see how many errors the guide would make,” I let out a light laugh at the memory. “Every time they’d get something wrong, he’d lean down whisper the correct information so that only I could hear it. I don’t think I’d ever seen him that happy,” I reminisced, allowing myself to forget about the current situation for the tiniest of moments. I wondered if I’d ever get to experience a day like that with Spencer ever again.

“You two are close, I take it?”

I nodded. Luke had fit in with the group so seamlessly that I had forgotten that he had only been with us for a short time. He didn’t really know the dynamics of everything yet.

“He’s my best friend.”

Luke hummed, and I could feel his eyes looking at me inquisitively.

“And that boyfriend of yours, he doesn’t mind?” Okay, maybe Luke was a little bit more perceptive than he let on.

Gavin and I had begun dating at the end of my first year with the BAU. He and I had meet in the most cliché of ways; bumping into each other in the cereal aisle at the grocery store. Gavin was more than a little bit handsome, but what had reeled me in had been the way he taken one look at the box of cereal in my cart and immediately scrunched his nose up in disgust.

“Plain Cheerios? Are you some sort of masochist, or something?” he had asked, a playful lilt to his voice. Normally, if a strange man had approached me in public, I would’ve been quick to express my disinterest. If my job had taught me anything, it was that a woman being approached by a strange man was a recipe for trouble. But something about him seemed wholly unthreatening, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his forwardness, raising an eyebrow at him.

“As if your choice is any better. Lucky Charms? What are you, six?”

“Don’t even go there. Lucky Charms are magically delicious, thank you very much,” he sniffed, feigning superiority. “And if we’re touching on the subject of age, the only person I know that eats plain Cheerios is my eighty-six-year-old grandmother. You look a bit young to be worrying about heart health, and I refuse to believe that you actually enjoy the taste, so what gives?”

“First of all, I find it concerning that you are so familiar with cereal slogans,” I breezed, leaning against my shopping cart. “Second, I am curious; do you make it a habit to harass people about their cereal preferences?”

“Only if they’re cute.”

And that had been that. Several dates later he had asked me to be his girlfriend over a dinner he had attempted to make himself. I said yes and he kissed me, nearly knocking over his plate of burnt chicken parmesan in the process.

“We, uh, have an understanding. He knows that Spencer and I are just good friends.”

Gavin and I did have an understanding, but it wasn’t a very solid one. In fact, I was sure that he damn near despised Spencer’s very existence. He had done a good job at hiding it for a while, but after coming home one night from an impromptu movie night with Spencer, he had revealed to me that he had a jealous streak a mile long. I reassured him that there was absolutely nothing that he needed to worry about, but I could tell he didn’t believe a word of it. Gavin had out flat demanded that I cut all ties with Spencer, and I had laughed in his face.

“I’m not the kind of girl that likes to be told what to do. Either you learn to live with him being a part of my life, or you can find someone else to boss around, because I can tell you right now, that won’t fly with me.”

My threat had proven to be effective, and he had apologized, and that had been the end of that. He still wasn’t fond of the idea that Spencer and I were such close friends, but he hadn’t tried to proposition me with any more ridiculous ultimatums.

“That’s good to hear,” Luke hummed, squeezing my hand before rising to his feet. I could tell that he didn’t necessarily buy into what I was saying, but I was thankful that he didn’t press it any further. “What do you say we go back out there. We’ve got to be getting close by now.”

I nodded and he helped me to my feet. I bent down to the faucet, swishing some water in my mouth before spitting it out.

When Luke and I returned to our seats, I was immediately aware of the way Rossi and Emily were eyeing me; like I was a delicate thing that needed to be handled with kid gloves.

I absolutely hated it.

“Sorry about that. It won’t happen again,” I said, before turning my attention back to the video call and saying, “so, what did we miss?”

The police station was surprisingly small. The hallways were narrow and the light bulbs above me gave off an almost green tint, casting an eerie glow on the place. The sounds of disgruntled detainees calling out drifted through the hallways, sounding akin to the moaning of a ghost. My eyes darted around constantly as we walked, the uneasy feeling in my stomach growing with every step we took towards the heart of the precinct.

“Thank you for calling us.” Emily’s words were directed at the police officer, Chief Castenada, who was leading us down the hall. He was a short man with graying hair and a seemingly permanent frown etched into his face. It didn’t take a genius to deduce that he wasn’t happy that four federal agents were in his jail.

“A U.S. fed in our custody isn’t something we see every day,” the man said, his tone entirely unfriendly. I grimaced.

“Have you gotten any of his tox screen panels back yet?” I prodded, quickening the pace of my strides until I was walking alongside him. He looked down at me like I was a pesky gnat that he wanted to bat away.

“No.”

Color me unsurprised.

“You’ll need to expedite that. We have cause to believe that Doctor Reid was drugged.”

“He was definitely high and driving like a bat out of Hell. Not to mention he had $20,000 worth of heroin in his possession,” he sneered, ceasing to walk and staring down at me with distaste. “Both of which put my officers at risk. You’re in our jurisdiction. Don’t forget that. The rules are different here.”

I opened my mouth, ready to fire back with some smart-assery of my own, but a hand at my elbow stopped me. I turned and saw that it was Luke, who nodded his head to the left of us. I looked in the direction he was referring to, and I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces.

Just up ahead was a holding cell with several poorly constructed benches in the center of it. On the very first row of seats sat Spencer, who had seemingly retreated in to himself. He was hunched over, his arms wrapped pitifully around himself, much like you’d imagine a child might do to keep warm. Spencer’s clothes were tattered and dirty and a bandage adorned his right hand. His usually beautiful chestnut curls were flying around his head in a mess of tangles and dirt. Despite the fact that Spencer towered over most of us, I couldn’t help but notice how incredibly small he looked.

Even as awful as he looked in his current state, a direct contradiction of the way he usually presented himself, I’d never been happier to lay my eyes on someone in my life.

My feet carried me forward before my brain had time to catch up. I closed the distance between me and the cell, pausing and taking a good, long look at him before allowing myself to speak. He hadn’t noticed me standing there yet. His gaze was instead trained on something at the other end of the room, his eyes red rimmed and glassy and his face completely slack.

“Spence?” I called out, the nickname falling from my lips like a prayer. In a way I suppose it was; a prayer that he was alright, that the horrible things Penelope had told us about were nothing but a horrible lie. At first, I was worried that he hadn’t heard me or that he was too out of his mind to even register the sound of my voice. Just when I opened my mouth to speak again, he turned his head in way that I would have described as comically slow if the situation hadn’t been so serious. The spacey look in his eyes told me that my prayers wouldn’t be answered.

Spencer’s eyes locked with mine, but his face remained completely blank, devoid of all expression. I stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, until it hit me like a ton of bricks; he had no clue who I was.

I wanted to be mad. I wanted to scream at him, to ask him how could he forget me, of all people. My anger was irrational and unfair, but I couldn’t help it. While I understood that it was no fault of his own, that the drugs coursing through his veins were to blame, it didn’t make it hurt any less.

I swallowed down the emotions that threatened to spill out, pushing them down into the depths of my being. I couldn’t let my emotional attachment hinder my judgment. I needed to be as vigilant as ever, no, more vigilant. The fate of my favorite person in the whole world depended on it.

“It’s me, Y/N,” I explained, keeping my voice as steady as I could manage. “It’s good to see you, Spencer. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”

He watched me for a moment before standing and making his way to where I was leaning against the bars.

“Y/N,” Spencer murmured when he reached me, as if testing my name out to see how it rolled off of his tongue. His stare was still vacant, but having him in front of me after worrying about his wellbeing for the last five hours was more than enough for now. I’d take him however I could have him. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course, we came,” I murmured, my eyes raking over every inch of his body for any signs of distress. Other than the bandage on his hand, he seemed to be in one piece.

Rossi was quick to join me, coming to a stop at my left.

“We’re going to get you out of here, kid,” he reassured, his tone more serious than I’d ever heard it.

“We need to work out some details with the locals, okay?” Emily said, waiting for a response but getting none.

“Who was your contact down here?” Luke asked.

Spencer was quicker to respond this time.

“Rosa,” he mumbled as he grabbed his shirt sleeve and pulled it up. On his inner arm, the name Rosa Medina was written in what was undoubtably his own handwriting. Spencer was notorious around the office for having the worst handwriting. I like to blame it on the fact that he was a doctor, which always elicited a laugh from him. “I think she’s a doctor.”

Luke pulled his phone out from his pocket, snapping a picture of the name.

“Where did you meet her?”

Spencer shook his head and a frown pulled down at the corner of his lips.

“I… I don’t remember.”

“If you saw her, would you remember her?”

Spencer nodded in affirmation.

“You’re missing time, aren’t you?” I asked, causing him to look at me once more. His brows furrowed together and he was nodding again, slightly surer of himself this time.

“It’s peeking out. It’s coming in flashes.”

“And you’ve been drugged?”

I didn’t know it was possible for his face to fall any more, but the look of shame that manifested itself when he registered my words was absolutely heartbreaking.

“Yeah, but I didn’t take it myself,” he insisted, a spark of life burning bright in the depths of his eyes. Somewhere in there, under the haze of narcotics, was the same Spencer that had fought tooth and nail for his sobriety all those years ago. My heart broke for him.

“Of course, you didn’t, Spence. We know that,” I said, almost reaching out to touch him before thinking better of it. “We’re thinking it might be Scratch.”

Just like before, when I had first spoken to him, absolutely no sign of recognition showed itself on his face.

“Scratch,” he muttered detachedly, much the same as before.

Luke’s phone rang then and he excused himself for a moment before stepping away. I looked to Rossi and Emily, who seemed to also be at a loss for words. The silence that filled the room was excruciating, and I once again started to feel like the walls were closing in on me. I wanted nothing more than to scream, to cry out in frustration. The whole situation was unfair in a way that I didn’t think was possible. I was a big believer in karma; put good in and get good out, or something like that. But now, standing outside of a holding cell that looked more like a dungeon than anything, I was ready to throw away that belief entirely.

Of all the people that I know, Spencer was the least deserving of something like this.

Just when I began to consider ducking outside for a breath of fresh air, Luke returned.

“Hey, the team sent this. Is this the doctor you met?” he asked, pointing to a picture of a woman he had pulled up on his phone. The woman was of Mexican descent, with short, choppy gray hair. She appeared to be middle aged, from what I could guess.

Spencer stared at the picture before nodding.

“Her alias is Rosa Medina and her real name is Nadi Ramos. Garcia tracked her to a motel just outside of town. Does that sound familiar?”

Spencer’s brows furrowed and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

“No.”

“Okay, we’ll need to take Castenada and his officers with us,” Emily announced, before turning and heading towards the door.

“Do you want company here?” Rossi asked.

Spencer seemed to take a moment to process before answering with an almost imperceptible nod. He turned his head and focused his gaze on me.

“Can… Can you stay?”

Rossi turned to face me too, raising an eyebrow as if to say ‘are you okay with this?’ I gave him what I hoped was a convincing smile. Honestly, I wasn’t entirely sure that I could handle this; the this that I am referring to being a nearly catatonic Spencer Reid. I was used to the Spencer who regaled me with interesting tidbits of information whenever there was a lull in conversation. The Spencer that stood before me now was a shell of his former self, and that terrified me.

“I’ll be fine here. Let me know if you guys find anything,” I told Rossi. He nodded once to me before enveloping me in a tight hug.

“Resta forte mia piccolo colomba,” Rossi murmured in my ear. I hadn’t a clue what the phrase meant, but the words draped over me like a warm blanket. Suddenly the weight of the current situation didn’t seem so heavy, and I felt immensely thankful that a man like David Rossi was in my life.

Rossi pressed his lips to the top of my head before releasing me. He gave one last, despairing look to Spencer before hurrying off after Luke and Emily. It could’ve been the light playing tricks on me, or maybe the exhaustion, but when Rossi turned away from us, I swear I saw tears welling in his eyes.

And then there were two.

I took glance at my watch for the first time all day, cringing when I saw the time to be 8:17PM. Quantico was an hour ahead, meaning Gavin was probably losing his shit wondering where I was. I sighed, fishing my phone out of my back pocket and turning it on.

“Spence, I’m going to make a phone call really quick,” I murmured. He offered no reply, just as I had come to expect. He was watching me, standing stock still in the same place he had been the entire time. I moved to stand in the doorway, hopefully far enough away that he couldn’t hear me anymore.

As soon as my phone booted up, a plethora of notifications came through. Seventeen missed calls and twenty-four unread text messages, to be exact. I decided to forgo reading the messages, instead pressing the return call button and tapping my foot anxiously against the floor. Gavin didn’t keep me waiting long, picking up on the very first ring.

“About time you answer your goddamn phone,” he hissed out. “Do you know how worried I’ve been? I even called your office phone and no one would answer that, either. What the fuck is going on? Where are you?”

“I’m… In Mexico.”

A long pause followed and I held my breath, waiting for the onslaught to begin.

“You left the country without even bothering to tell me?” Gavin asked, his voice raising in volume. I could picture him now; probably sitting on our sofa, fists balled together and jaw clenched. “Would you like to enlighten me as to why you’re in Mexico?”

I closed my eyes, frustration bubbling deep inside me. Today was arguably the shittiest day of my entire life, and I certainly didn’t need Gavin harping on about how I hadn’t been in touch. Honestly, informing him of my whereabouts had been the furthest thing from my mind.

“It’s Spencer,” I began, trying to think of the proper way to word it all. “He got into some… trouble. We think he’s being framed by Scratch.”

“Isn’t that the guy that just went after Tara’s family?”

“Yeah, it is. He’s been laying low for the past few months, and I guess he was just building up to all of this. It’s really bad, Gav,” I whispered the last bit, hoping that Spencer couldn’t hear me. If he did, he made no move that indicated it. “He’s high out of his mind and can’t remember anything.”

“How long will you guys be there?” Gavin asked, completely ignoring the fact that I mentioned Spencer at all. I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from saying something I might regret. I understand that he doesn’t like the guy, but he could show some common decency and at least pretend.

“I’m not entirely sure. Rossi, Emily, and Luke just headed out to go check on a lead. I don’t know how long that’ll take.”

“Wait, so, where are you?”

“I’m at the jail with Spencer, why?” I inquired, running my hand through my hair and absentmindedly combing out the knots that had formed. I was sure that I looked a right mess, but I couldn’t be too bothered to care.

“Let me get this straight. They left you alone with a guy who is wasted on God knows what, not knowing how he’ll react to it?” A bitter laugh flowed through the phone speaker. “Sounds like you don’t exactly work with the smartest bunch. What if he tries to attack you or something?”

I let his words hang in the air for a moment, unable to formulate a reply that wasn’t something like you’re being an absolute fucking dick bag right now. No, I was a grown woman and I was going to communicate like one, despite the fact that his ignorant reply was making me shake with rage.

“The first thing I’m going to address is the fact that this is not some guy. We’re talking about my best friend and teammate, and his name is Spencer. Use it,” I said through gritted teeth. “The second thing is that he’s not some wild animal. He’s not going to try to come through the bars and pounce on me. What he’s going through right now is traumatic, and he doesn’t need to be left alone right now. Show some compassion.”

“Yeah, okay, I’m sorry,” Gavin muttered. It was the most unapologetic apology I’d ever heard in my life, prompting me to roll my eyes. I don’t understand how I can love someone and want to throttle them simultaneously. “I’m just worried about you, is all. How are you holding up?”

“I’m as good as can be expected,” I sighed, bringing my free hand up to rub at my eyes. “I’m just tired of watching this guy terrorize all of my friends. First, he takes Hotch from us, then he nearly kills Tara’s brother, and now this. I’m beginning to think we’ll never catch a break.”

“I know you’re tired, baby. Just try to hang on a little bit longer. As much as I question some of their decisions, your team is good at what they do. You guys will catch him. I have faith in you.”

There it is. That’s the Gavin that I fell in love with.

“Thank you,” I murmured. “It’s been a long day and I needed to hear that.” I cast a glance back at Spencer, who was now staring down at his bandaged hand, an indiscernible expression on his face. He looked so lost, standing all alone in the grimy holding cell. The lights cast shadows on his face, making his already angular face look gaunt. The Spencer I knew was the human embodiment of light; filling up every room he was in with his delightfully idiosyncratic presence. The Spencer in the cell was so shrouded in darkness that the room seemed to be swallowing him whole, taking his brilliance and crushing it into smithereens.

“Gav, I think I need to get back in there.”

“Yeah, alright. Just keep me in the loop this time, please. I don’t like not knowing where my girlfriend is.”

“I’ll make sure to check in whenever I can,” I promised, before tacking on a, “love you.”

“Love you, too.”

I pocketed my phone with hands that shook, no longer from rage but from apprehension. I liked to think that I was good at my job. I had done well at the academy; not well enough to have graduated at the top of my class, but I did manage to be in the top ten. After lucking into the job of a lifetime, I had fully committed myself to learning to be the best profiler I could possibly be. Two years of piecing together the innerworkings of criminal minds had taught me more than I ever could have imagined about the human psyche. I had talked many a deranged psychopath down from the ledge, and I had saved more than a few lives along the way. Unfortunately, not all cases can end favorably. Those are the ones that taught me the most.

For all that I learned, nothing could’ve prepared me to deal with the shell of a man that stood before me.

I was standing in front of him now, fiddling nervously with my hands. When Spencer had originally told me about his battle with addiction, I had taken it upon myself to do some research of my own. I wanted to be able to identify the signs, God forbid he ever relapse. While conducting my research, I had read somewhere that the best way to support someone during a come down is by remaining positive and creating a calm, safe environment.

I was currently the antithesis of calm, but for Spencer’s sake, I was going to do my best.

I took a step forward and offered him a small smile.

“I’ve never seen you in jeans and boots before,” I said. I was proud of myself when the words came out sounding relatively casual. “It’s a good look on you, but I have to admit I prefer the academic look. I suppose it’s the sapiosexual in me.”

He gave no response, but the tinniest tug at the corner of his mouth told me that he found my comment amusing.

I let my eyes drag over him again and I fixated on the bandage on his right hand, frowning.

“Do you remember what happened to your hand?”

Spencer raised his hand up, absentmindedly flipping it over and inspecting it.

“I don’t know,” he murmured. Spencer’s usually high pitched voice came out gravely, no doubt a byproduct of dehydration related to the drugs. My eyes skimmed across the holding cell and I frowned when I saw no water fountain in sight.

“M’ gonna go get you some water, okay?” I turned away and pivoted on my heel, taking one step before a hand wrapped around my upper arm. I spun around so fast I nearly caught whiplash.

Spencer’s eyes were wide and full of panic, conveying more emotion than he’d had since we’d arrived. His eyebrows were drawn together as well, contorting his face into a pitiful expression.

“Don’t go,” he rasped, his hand still firmly grasping my arm. “Please.”

The hopelessness in his voice was like a dagger through my heart. I nodded fervently and placed my hand over his, prompting him to loosen his grip. He did, and I took his hand in both of mine. I rubbed my thumbs over his skin, haphazardly tracing patterns in an attempt to calm him.

“Yeah, okay. I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” I soothed, bringing his hand up to my mouth and placing a chaste kiss to the skin. “I’ve got you, Spence. It’s all going to be okay.”

The look of panic slowly washed away the longer we stood there. He held onto my hands like I was a lifeline, the only thing tethering him to the ground. While I longed for nothing more than to really embrace him, to pull all of him into my arms and hold on for dear life, the bars that separated us inhibited me from doing so. So instead I just relished in the feel of his hand intertwined with my own.

It would have to be enough for now.

Nadi Ramos was dead.

I didn’t have to ask Emily to know that the situation had gone from bad to absolutely fucking terrible. We knew Scratch was a horrendous individual; that much had been proved by his preferred modus operandi. We also knew that he had become fixated on taking down each of us one by one. He’d tried twice with Hotch, even going as far as to target his son, resulting in the two of them joining WITSEC for their own safety. The next blow had come when he had set his sights on Tara, or, more specifically, her brother. We’d gotten lucky with that one, having located and freed her brother just in the nick of time. After the incident with Tara’s brother, we all expected the next attack to come in quick succession. When several months passed with no sign of Scratch, we all became terribly on edge. No one was saying it, but we all were waiting to see which one of us would be next, crossing our fingers and hoping it wouldn’t be us.

I knew that none of us were exempt from Scratch’s wrath, but for some reason, I’d never imagined him targeting Spencer.

And target him he fucking did.

“We know you didn’t do this,” Emily spoke for the group, knowing good and well that we were all on the same page.

“How did it happen?” Spencer’s back was to us. His shoulders were slumped and his face downturned.

“She was stabbed multiple times. It looked personal,” Luke answered, his voice low and careful. It was obvious to us all that he was being extra careful with his wording, making sure to broach the subject carefully. We all knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that Spencer was innocent; but that didn’t mean that Spencer did.

Chief Castenada trudged into the holding cell, the portrait of all things cranky and unpleasant. His presence acted as a proverbial storm cloud on an already shitty day.

“We got the results of your blood work. There’s cocaine and heroin in your system.”

“What else?” Emily asked, causing Castenada to give her a confused look.

“He was in possession of cocaine and heroin when he was arrested. I found what I needed.”

I felt myself bristle and before I knew it, my mouth was open and I was spouting out pure venom.

“Thanks so much for doing the bare minimum, but we’re going to need a full tox screen panel. We’re looking for scopolamine.”

Emily’s eyes cut over to me and if I hadn’t been fighting on Spencer’s behalf, I would’ve withered under the weight of the shut the fuck up look she gave me. Instead, I continued on, silently praying I’d still have a job after today.

“It’ll take longer, but we need it,” I explained in what I hoped was a slightly more accommodating tone. Castenada gave a curt nod in reply before exiting the room, grumbling something in Spanish that had Luke and Emily shooting daggers at his retreating figure.

“Do I want to know?”

Luke shook his head, shooting a small smile in my direction.

“Let’s just say he’s not your biggest fan, and we’ll leave it at that,” he offered, before straightening out his expression and turning back to Spencer. “You were given a speed ball. The opiates block the dopamine in your brain. That’s why things go from clear to hazy. The combination of the drugs causes a dissociative state and explains the memory loss. Are you coming down now?”

“I think so,” Spencer said. His cadence wasn’t as slow as it had been earlier, which was a relief.

“Do you think you could do a cognitive interview?” Emily’s voice was hopeful, and if Spencer was one thing, it was a people pleaser. It was obvious that he was overwhelmed; I had taken note of the fact that he was displaying one of his nervous ticks. Spencer was touching the pad of his thumb on the tips of his other fingers in rapid succession. Despite his obvious discomfort, he nodded his head in agreeance.

“I’ll try.”

Rossi took the lull in conversation as an opportunity to hold up the plastic bag in his hand. I narrowed my eyes at it inquisitively. There were five vials of a murky, dark brown liquid in the bag.

“There were five of these in your bag at the motel. Do you recognize them?”

Spencer’s eyes zeroed in on the bag and its contents, his brows furrowing. It wasn’t long until a look of partial recognition flashed across his face. It was so faint that if he hadn’t been in a room of profilers, it would’ve gone unnoticed.

“What is it?” I asked from my place at his side. He’d been somewhat clingy since the incident that had transpired while everyone was at the motel, gravitating towards me as soon as we all had been granted entrance to the holding cell. I knew that he needed familiarity right now; he was in a very vulnerable state and he needed something that made him feel safe and secure.

Butterflies erupted in my stomach when I had realized what he was doing, that I was that thing that made him feel safe and secure.

Spencer opened his mouth once before closing it, as if trying to put his thoughts into words was difficult. He did this a few more times before settling on,

“Whatever’s in those vials, I was giving it to my mom,” he said, his eyes darting around the room as he spoke. “That’s the only thing I’m sure of.”

“I’ll have them run it through the lab,” Rossi said, before leaving and heading towards the direction in which Castenada had retreated.

Emily and Luke were quick to hop into a rushed conversation, leaving only Spencer and I still in the cell. I looked up at him, at the way his forehead creased as he bit his lip in quiet contemplation.

“Are you sure you’re ready for a cognitive? I know the effects may be wearing off, but you’re gonna be cloudy for a while. If you don’t want to do it now, all you have to do is say the word,” I murmured, keeping my voice low so that only he could hear it. “I can tell that you’re a bit overwhelmed, and that’s okay.”

Spencer’s response came in the form of a shrug of his shoulders.

“I want to try, because I know it’s important. I just don’t know that it will be of much help,” he replied, casting his eyes down to me.

“Yes, it is important, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. We’ll figure this out even if you can’t remember it all right now.”

Spencer nodded once before running his tongue across his chapped bottom lip.

“I don’t remember what happened, but I know I didn’t kill her,” he whispered, barely audible. Even though his words were quiet, I could hear the desperation in them; almost as if he was begging me to believe them, begging himself to believe them.

I made the irrational decision then to throw professionalism aside and wrap both of my arms around his torso, my grip tight and assured. Spencer’s aversion to touch was common knowledge amongst us all, but for some reason that never seemed to apply to me, and I could see in his eyes that the way we were all treating him like he was fragile was wounding him more than he would ever admit. I hoped to remedy that with my embrace, and the speed in which he reciprocated was so fast that I was certain he was thankful. He wrapped his injured hand around my waist, the other finding purchase in my hair. I felt his chest move as he let out a shuddering breath.

“I know you didn’t, Spence. Everyone on the team knows you didn’t,” I reassured him, my words muffled as my face was pressed against his chest. “And we’re not going to stop until everyone else knows it, too.”

I was well aware that our embrace had garnered the attention of our teammates, but Spencer’s hold on me hadn’t faltered in the slightest, so I didn’t let mine either. Instead, I gripped the fabric of his flannel shirt tighter in my hands.

When Emily exited the room in which they had conducted the cognitive interview, the look on her face was grim. I visibly cringed at the sight as I felt the sliver of hope that I had left die a miserable death.

We are so beyond fucked.

“How’s he doing?” Rossi asked, obviously taking note of the distress on Emily’s face.

“He’s made some breakthroughs, but I’m not sure how helpful they’ll be,” she sighed, running a hand through her jet-black hair. When none of us spoke, Emily’s eyes flitted around, finally noticing that our expressions were a direct reflection of her own. “What is it?”

“They just charged Reid with the murder of Nadi Ramos.”

Hearing it said aloud wasn’t any easier the second time.

While the rest of us had taken it upon ourselves to lean against the cement walls, Luke had begun pacing down the short hallway. After about ten minutes of unbearable silence, he decided he’d had enough.

“We can’t get him out of here, can we?” he finally spoke, his voice a mix of anger and desperation.

“I don’t know how.”

“He didn’t kill her,” I reiterated, speaking more to myself than the three of them.

“If all I had to go on was the evidence, I would swear he did,” Rossi sighed. I knew he was right; Spencer’s personal belongings were all over the hotel room, which was about as incriminating as you could get. “But knowing Reid, hearing the cognitive…”

“Yes, he said there was another person in that motel room, but,” Emily pressed play on the audio recording, and her voice proceeded to flow through the speakers.

“Who has the knife? Who is stabbing Rosa?”

“I don’t know. It’s in my hand.”

Emily pressed the power button and the screen went black.

“Right now, this is just more evidence against him.”

“So, what do we do now? Do we just sit and twiddle our thumbs until the consulate agrees to the extradition?” I asked. “There’s got to be more we can do. We can’t let them take him to jail, he won’t survive in there.”

“I called in some help from IRT. Clara Seger and Matt Simmons will be arriving at any moment,” Emily said, checking her phone after hearing it ping. “In fact, that would be them. They’re here.”

I breathed a sigh of relief as we all fell into step beside Emily. Having people from other areas of expertise that are willing to help is a good thing. Maybe they’ll be able to see something that we didn’t.

“We come bearing good news,” I announced, leading the group as we all entered the holding cell. Spencer was quick to turn around and the corners of his lips pulled upwards as he set his sights on all of us. “Back up is here.”

“Hey Spencer,” Matt greeted, offering up a small smile before crossing his arms across his chest.

“Hey,” Spencer replied, moving to stand up from his spot on the bench. He was still a little wobbly on his feet, but he was doing much better than he was when we had arrived. “Thank you for coming.”

“Yeah, of course. Jack and me are finishing up a case in Costa Rica, so we hopped on a commercial plane to get here,” Clara explained.

“We’re trying to stop you transfer to El Diablo.”

Spencer’s eyes darted over to me and he swallowed hard before speaking.

“Do you think it’s possible?” Hearing the hope in his voice tugged at my heart strings. The way that he could manage to stay optimistic at time like this was a true testament to his character.

“Yes,” Clara began. “Lab reports on the vials came back and some of what was in there hasn’t been approved by the FDA, but there aren’t any illegal substances.”

“That’s great news,” I sighed, letting out the breath that I didn’t know I had been holding.

“Is there anything else you remember about your time here?”

“I remember what happened to the vials at home. My mom threw most of them out.”

“So, that’s why you were here. To get more,” Clara said in an attempt to clarify.

“It must be,” Spencer murmured, shuffling anxiously from one foot to the other.

“Well, you’re off the hook for that. There’s no contraband involved,” Matt announced. Okay, this is good. One less thing to worry about.

“Yeah, but we’re still looking at the planted drug and the murder charges, which could keep you here for a long time.”

“Can we do anything to delay the transfer?” I wondered aloud. Clara took into account what I said and sighed, before turning towards Spencer once again.

“You said that you met Nadi, who calls herself Rosa, in Houston. Why didn’t she just give you the vials in the U.S.?”

“I don’t know,” Spencer said, running his uninjured hand through his hair. “I don’t know, but she helped us and I trusted her. I was right to. I still believe that.”

“Well, she convinced you to cross the border multiple times. She had you risk your life,” Matt argued.

“Because she must have something to lose, too,” I mumbled, eliciting a series of fervent nods from Clara. “Family, maybe?”

“We need to know more about her,” Clara said.

And then, something glorious happened. It was like a switch had flipped inside of Spencer’s head, and all of the sudden the lights were back on. I could tell that he had been struck with an idea, and it was a wonderous sight to behold.

“What was in those vials?” Spencer asked, only solidifying my observation.

Matt produced a paper with the lab results and began reading off the results.

“There are so nootropic compounds like Ampalex, uh, but also some more natural stuff; coral calcium, jimson weed, coconut oil, a variety of vitamins. B12, D3-”

“Where are we right now?” Spencer interjected.

“Matamoros, Northern Mexico.”

“Jimson weed, otherwise known as the Devil’s Snare, originated in Mexico but its natural growing region is further north or south of the border,” Spencer said, his words flowing out rapidly. I felt my heart soar and I didn’t even try to suppress the smile that fought its way to my face.

“Boy Genius is back,” I announced, and for just a moment, the mood in the room lightened for the first time all day.

“So, if it isn’t from here, then were did she get it?” Clara asked.

“Let me get Garcia on,” Emily murmured, dialing the number and tapping her foot as it rang. On the third ring, Penelope’s bright and cheerful voice filled the room, a sunbeam shining through on a cloudy day.

“Please tell me you’re calling to tell me some good news.”

“Garcia, I have some questions for you.”

“Hey, Penelope,” Matt greeted, earning a pleasantly surprised gasp from the woman on the other end.

“Oh my God, it’s the dulcet tones of Matt Simmons,” Penelope gushed. “Are you there to save the day?”

“I’m trying. Clara’s here, too.” A relieved sigh floated through the speakers.

“Knowing we have you guys as backup is providing me some much-needed hope, and I work better this way.”

“Hey, lady,” Clara greeted. “We’re trying to catch up on a few things. Where is Nadi Ramos from?” Before Clara even managed to finish her sentence, the sound of Garcia’s acrylic nails tapping away at her keyboard could be heard.

“Mm she lives with her family just north of Matamoros.”

“That must be where she got the jimson weed,” Emily pointed out.

“What’s weird in she crosses the border, like, a lot.”

“Why?”

“Well, she works in Houston at that clinic, but she also helps at a low-income healthcare center. I can’t find a visa on her, which is double weird. And, in finishing the weird trifecta, there’s a social security number on her W2 form.”

“Social security? She’s an American citizen?” I asked. Matt confirmed my suspicions with a nod of his head.

“Yeah, she had dual citizenship. She was born in Houston, and her family had to move back to Mexico. She lives with them and she works in the U.S.”

“This changes everything. We need to talk to the consulate,” Emily stated.

Just as things were beginning to look up, Chief Castenada decided to grace us with his presence once more; and this time, he had an entourage.

“It’s time for his transfer,” Castenada announced, looking pointedly in my direction.

“We’ve had a break in the case,” Emily argued, shaking her head at him. “The victim was also American, and that calls for extradition.”

Castenada merely shrugged before walking past us all.

“I’ve got orders, sorry,” he muttered, making Gavin’s apology from earlier in the day sound heartfelt in comparison. Castenada wasted no time in beginning to place handcuffs on Spencer, locking them in place with a definitive click. Spencer and I shared a look of panic before both of us looked towards Emily in a silent plea.

One of the men roughly grabbed Spencer by the arm and led him from the room. I watched in horror as they led him away, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest. I barely registered the fact that Emily was now on the phone. I just stood there, staring blankly at the entrance to the cell.

“With the victim having dual citizenship, we now have concurrent jurisdiction. It was my understanding that the official order to extradite SSA Spencer Reid would be evaluated,” Emily damn near snarled into the phone. She paused for a moment, listening to the voice on the other line, before a look of relief washed over her face. “I understand, thank you.” She promptly hung up the phone before turning to face Luke. “They’re taking it to their brass. Go get him.”

Luke took off in a rush, not needing to be told twice.

I only wished I could be there to see the look on Castenada’s face.

“We’re working on all channels here. Matt Cruz is on with the consulate right now. We could get an immediate extradition, but it’s just the beginning,” Emily explained, her voice stern.

Spencer regarded her with a weary expression. The drug induced haze had finally lifted, leaving him painfully aware of how dire the situation was.

“I really screwed up and I’m so sorry,” he choked out, resulting in a crack forming in Emily’s hard exterior. I couldn’t blame her; it wasn’t easy to stay mad at Spencer Reid. Spencer’s eyes were like kryptonite to most; big and brown and full of emotion. I’m sure if you searched ‘puppy dog eyes’ in the dictionary, a picture of Spencer Reid would be found in example.

“It was for the right reason.”

“I can’t remember what happened, but I know I didn’t kill anyone.” It was obvious in the way that he kept repeating the words that he was desperate for us to believe him. No amount of calm reassurance from us could quell the voice in his head that was surely telling him that we thought him guilty.

“We do, too.”

Clara was first to enter the cell, immediately followed by Matt.

“Hey, they approved the extradition,” Clara announced, smiling brightly at the three of us.

“Effective immediately,” Matt added on.

We all exchanged relieved smiles before Matt and Clara led Spencer from the cell. Emily and I were quick to follow, right on Matt’s heels when we were stopped by Castenada.

“I must point out that I feel like justice isn’t exactly being served with this move.”

I pursed my lips together. In the short time we had been in Mexico, my feelings towards the man had grown from distaste to almost a full-blown hatred. That being said, I couldn’t help but understand where he was coming from. If Spencer hadn’t been a federal agent, he wouldn’t be granted the privilege of the extradition. Nor would he be allowed to fly home with us. I hated to admit it, but Castenada made a valid point.

“I understand, but I can assure you that this has gone to the highest ranks and there will be a full investigation,” Emily reassured him.

“Thank you for working with us,” I offered in an attempt to smooth over the rift I had created earlier. Now that my judgement wasn’t so clouded by my need to defend Spencer, I could see the error of my ways. I hadn’t been the most professional.

Castenada nodded once in my direction before turning his attention back to Emily.

“For our reports, I would like to have the recording of that cognitive interview.”

I felt my blood run cold. That interview would just add to the list of things that could be used against Spencer in court. He had openly admitted to holding the murder weapon in his own hands, an admission that would surely earn him twenty to life.

We cannot give him that recording.

Emily seemed to be on the same page as I was.

“I didn’t record it.”

Castenada’s face contorted into an ugly frown.

“But that was our agreement,” he squawked angrily.

“I determined he was still under the influence. Anything he said wouldn’t have clarified matters.”

Castenada’s gaze never faltered, eyeing Emily in an attempt to discern if she was giving him the run around. Luckily, Castenada was unable to find a hint of dishonesty on Emily’s face, and he nodded in resignation.

Years of profiling will teach you how to control your micro expressions.

“You’re committed agents. And I’ve worked with the IRT before. I trust you know what you’re doing.”

“We do. I promise,” I stated, my voice giving off more confidence than I felt. Yes, I thought to myself, there’s no doubt that we’re good at what we do.

But so is Scratch.

All was quiet on the jet, the steady thrum of the engine being the only sound that could be heard. Rossi had been the only one able to fall asleep, something that I would be sure to tease him about later. Next to Rossi sat Emily, who had busied herself with flipping through Spencer’s arresting report. Clara and Matt sat across from them, engulfed in their own hushed conversation.

Spencer had opted to sit on the couch, but he didn’t allow himself to sprawl out like he normally would have done. He was visibly exhausted, wiping at his eyes frequently in an attempt to keep the fatigue at bay. It was almost like he was punishing himself; like he didn’t feel he deserved the solace that sleep would bring.

“You should go talk to him. See if you can’t get him to lay down,” Luke whispered encouragingly from his seat beside mine.

“I have no idea what to say to him,” I confessed. I tore my gaze away from Spencer and turned my attention to Luke. “There’s nothing I can say that will make this any better.”

“You’re not wrong about that, but maybe just letting him know you’re here for him will help. Just go and sit with him, I’m sure he could use a friend right now.”

Luke was right. I let out a dramatic sigh before shooting Luke a pointed look.

“Since when did you get so insightful?”

A grin stretched its way across his face.

“Always have been, sweetness. It’s part of my charm. I’m more than just a pretty face, you know.”

“And on that note, I’ll be going,” I announced, standing up from my seat and walking the short distance to the couch. Luke’s chuckles sounded off behind me and I couldn’t help but smile; note to self, make more of an effort to get to know Luke Alvez.

I approached slowly, hoping not to startle him as he seemed to be lost in his own world. He didn’t notice me until I came to a stop in front of the couch. Spencer’s head shot up suddenly, the worry on his face melting away to form a small smile.

“Hi,” I greeted, returning his smile tenfold. “You looked like you could use some company. Do you mind if I sit?”

Spencer gave me a soft smile and scooted over, patting at the space next to him. I lowered myself onto the couch, angling my body so it was facing him.

“You’re tired,” I observed, leaning back into the soft cushions. Spencer shrugged in reply, opening his mouth to argue, only for a yawn to slip out. I let out a light laugh. “Don’t even try to argue. There’s no telling how long you’ve been up. Why don’t you try and get some sleep?”

Spencer’s eyes reluctantly met mine and I felt almost paralyzed when I saw the sheer vulnerability in them.

“Researchers from the University of Cardiff conducted a two-part study looking at whether people’s daily frustration or fulfilment of their psychological needs, such as feeling autonomous or competent, affects their dreams. The results from the first study showed that people who were frustrated with their daily situation tended to have recurring dreams in which they were falling, failing or being attacked,” he rasped out, his words jumbling together as they fell from his mouth in rapid succession. “The lead author on the study concluded that negative dream emotions may directly result from distressing dream events, and might represent the psyche’s attempt to process and make sense of particularly psychologically challenging waking experiences.”

“And you’re worried your dreams will reflect what happened today.”

Spencer bit the inside of his cheek before nodding in affirmation.

“I can’t promise you that you won’t dream about those things,” I began, my voice coming out soft. “But I can tell you that sleep deprivation can cause lots of very unfortunate symptoms like impaired memory, reduced physical strength, and inability to concentrate. Do you know how I know those things?”

A light flush dusted over the tops of his cheeks.

“Probably because I’ve made it a habit to bore you with my information dumps.”

I shook my head adamantly, reaching a hand up and ruffling up his hair. He batted my hand away, ducking his head to try and hide the smile tugging at his lips.

“Never a bore, Spence. But yes, I know those things because of you and that remarkable brain of yours. And we’re going to need that remarkable brain in tip top shape if we want to get you out of this mess, understood?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” he relented.

I patted a hand on my lap, an invitation for him to use me as a pillow. He seemed hesitant, eyes flitting from my face before going back down to my lap.

“Don’t act shy around me, Pretty Boy. I know better than anyone that you’re a secret cuddle bug,” I teased, earning a snort from the man next to me.

“Am not,” he harrumphed, before deciding to take me up on my offer. He laid his head down on my lap before stretching his legs out across the expanse of the couch. My heart lurched pitifully when he nuzzled his head into my leg before letting out a loud sigh.

“Thank you,” Spencer whispered, voice thick with emotion. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks, casting tiny shadows on his face. I smiled at the sight and began carding my hands through his hair.

“No need to thank me,” I murmured, raking my nails against his scalp and eliciting a pleased hum from him. “Don’t you worry about a thing, okay? We’re going to get you out of this. I know we will. And don’t worry about your mom, either; I’m going to check on your mom every day, I promise.”

Spencer’s breathing stuttered at the mention of Diana, and I worried I had crossed a line. He stayed silent for a moment, before moving his hand up and squeezing my knee.

“You’re entirely too good to me.”

“Yeah, well, you’d do the same for me. That’s what friends are for.”

No more words were exchanged, and within five minutes Spencer’s breathing evened out and he was asleep.

Several hours later, we were all filing out of the elevator and into the bullpen. I shivered slightly as the cool air hit my bare arms, but I tried not to show my discomfort. I’d shrugged off my sweater and offered it to Spencer the moment we stepped off the jet, draping it across his cuffed hands in an attempt to conceal them. Spencer had thanked me with a pitiful smile and I returned the sentiment, blinking several times to try and stifle the tears pooling in my eyes.

JJ was the first to greet him, with Stephen, Tara and Penelope following closely behind. I watched on for a moment before my attention was pulled elsewhere. Stephen’s phone had rung, prompting him to slip away from the group and retreat further down the hall. I furrowed my brow at this, taking advantage of my colleagues’ distraction as I wandered towards Stephen. I strained to hear his whispered words, but just as soon as I neared, he ended the call.

“What was that about?” I asked quietly. The look on his face told me that the news couldn’t be good, and I didn’t want to ruin the reunion going on just down the hall. They all deserved a few moments of relief.

Stephen let out a long sigh and ran his hand through his hair before speaking.

“I, uh, just got a call. Reid isn’t eligible for the bureau’s legal assistance.”

Stephen’s words sent a jolt of white-hot dread through me. “How is that even possible?” “Spencer went without being briefed, and he wasn’t in Mexico on government business. They refuse to represent him.”

I let my wary eyes drift down the hall, towards the group of wonderful misfits that I had grown to think of as family;

Penelope, whose optimism never wavered, even in the face of the absolute worst that the world had to offer.

JJ, a devoted mother with a heart of gold and a fierceness that inspired me every single day.

Tara, one of the most intelligent and caring women I had ever had the privilege to know.

Rossi, a father figure to all with enough wisdom to create a legacy that would inspire generations of profilers to be.

Emily, a fearless leader whom I trusted with my life and would follow into battle without question.

Luke, a newcomer who took special care to comfort me when I was at my worst.

Spencer, a man too remarkable to even try to describe with words. A man that anyone of us would defend until our very last breath.

That undeniable truth gave birth to the tiny sliver of hope growing inside of me. Spencer Reid was innocent, and we are all hellbent on proving it.

I nodded once in affirmation, more to myself than to Stephen, before allowing myself to meet his gaze.

“We’re on our own.”

And if anyone could pull this off, it was this team. My team.

There is a point when facing the unknown stops being a longed-for adventure and becomes a terrifying reality.

-Storm Constantine

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