#i told myself i need to work on more written fics but for some reason i’m just loving sm aus more recently lmao

[kneelingshadowsalome]

so, i’m currently taking a west civics class in college, and i am currently researching ancient greek civilizations, most notably, the arts and culture of ancient greece. i know you have written a fic based on its mythological stories, with minotaur könig (bless your beautiful soul).

but through my readings, i couldn’t help but come up with such a dirty daydreams while in class. i couldn’t stop myself from thinking about könig and… the ancient olympics…

i know, realistically speaking, women were not allowed to attend or watch these games for the most part. so, in a universe where könig’s dedication not only falls upon him being a top man, but being the perfect man in honor of being recognized by the god of strength himself, he becomes so enticing in the way he trains and readies himself for such a significant event of his life. he’s never really had much to care for, neither does he need to prioritize anything that isn’t him or his training. he’s a workhorse, nothing stopping him from being the best, most valuable follower of zeus. that is… until…

well, it was your fault, and you admit that, but he wasn’t stopping you either. i mean, who could blame you, this little thing sneaking and peeping at a man who’s at work in order to provide to cute women like yourself. in fact, you argue that this was your way of appreciating a man, to observe them in their element in such a loving gaze. it didn’t help that könig was a man who preferred to train naked too, in all his glory, so of course there was no missing you, you were just too obvious for a man like him to notice you.

and with every grunt he’d give after each swing of a fist or a blade, a mew is what you’d give in return, your own form of a cheer for him to keep going. and you promised you didn’t mean to stare and make distracting noises, but an innocent maiden like yourself was just too hypnotized by this new anatomy that was found between this man’s legs. so outspoken, so dirty for your mouth to spew such beautiful filth to a stranger.

was this könig’s new test of endurance? part of the program to make him stronger for the olympic event that was just around the corner. he has heard man advising others to refrain from sex before the games, but he hadn’t even been given the chance to work on that since no one was bold enough to approach him like you did. he wonders, does fucking before a game really make a man weak, does thinking about shoving his big dumb cock in his soon-to-be wife distract him too much to succeed? perhaps, perhaps not, one thing he does know though, he’s got someone else to honor and worship, which makes his training all the more necessary.

Oh my god….. I’m totes not getting caught up in the fact that women were not allowed to participate in these activities….

This led me to think, what if some misbehaving little creature decided to peep at this Hercules reborn? She gets caught one day, but because she’s absolutely carefree and unhinged, she asks König if he could show her how to train.

CW: Nudity, implied sexism/misogyny (Ancient Greek society thang), teasing König to the point where he gets a boner and growls

Our Olympian hero gets so confused that he forgets he was supposed to report you or throw you out of the gym. Outside, where birds fly free and the sun tortures the trainees, he has picked a spot where he can train in solitude and silence: for some reason, other people’s stares make him uncomfortable… Until this curious, sweet little nymph came around, perched atop a wide rock, munching some wild mountain herb as she watched him train.

He allowed her to watch him train for two days, but on the third, he marched over to her and told her she needs to leave. Women are not allowed here, doesn’t she know that? Where are her parents? Does she have a husband?

No, no husband, and her parents don’t really care what she does. Well, this explains why she’s behaving this way. Running around the hillside so untame, watching men train—can’t she see she’s putting herself in danger? Any one of these men could decide to just take her on the barren land if she’s not careful.

She just giggles and asks, would he like to take her? Then points out that men shouldn’t waste their seed before a big competition. Also, Zeus’s wife would not think well of him if she saw him rut innocent women on the hill... There’s nothing but heaven above them, surely someone would see. The gods could curse him with a weak ankle, or a sprained muscle, a failing heart or a snake bite…

“All right, all right, that’s enough,” he says, but there’s even worse to come.

Next, she asks if he could show her how to lift those smaller rocks, how to throw a javelin or a discus. Could he teach her how to wrestle…?

“Absolutely not,” he scoffs while his groin floods with warmth at the thought of wrestling with this pretty, wonton woman. She’s absolutely disgraceful, and yet, he doubts she’s running from man to man, teasing them to death. She’s not begging to get raped, she’s just… a little gullible, or something. Happened to take interest in him, little thing. As she should, after all, he’s the pride of this city...

“You fear I’ll become better than you?” She asks with little stars in her stare.

“Bah. Don’t be ridiculous...”

They’re both smiling, now. This kind of banter and games he has never experienced with a lady, she’s making him extremely uncomfortable and at the same time, fly high like Icarus. He’ll have to be careful he doesn’t get burned…

When he still refuses to show her how to train, she shrugs and goes over to the wooden javelin that’s taller than her. Picking it up, he expects the gods to smite her down with a sudden hail or thunder, but nothing happens. The sun keeps on shining, and the sheep keep on baaing. She weighs it with two hands, then starts to look for a spot to try and throw it.

“Wait,” he calls after her, but she only looks back at him with a smile. Picks off to run, with the javelin securely in her right hand, she runs like a deer while he lumbers after her, completely perplexed.

Insufferable woman… He’s growing hard from the cock as he runs, somehow aroused by this silly chase. Like Apollo trying to court Daphne, but his Daphne is not meek and unwilling; she’s giggling as he huffs and runs after her like a stumbling giant.

At a distant field of nothing but rock and weather-beaten flowers, she stops. Shields her eyes as she looks for a perfect spot, she’s not even breathless when he finally catches her. She turns around to look at her hero, catching his breath in the sun.

“You’re not fit enough for a marathon,” she comments. “Did you lift too many weights?”

“Give me the javelin,” he pants, dismissing her blunt analysis of his weaknesses. Stepping towards her, he extends his hand, offering her a chance to return it to him without fuss.

“Wrestle it from me,” she smiles, so playfully and brightly that his cock suffers another throb.

Gods damn this woman... She’s toying, playing with him, teasing him to the point where he’s left no choice.

He doesn’t want to hurt her, which means the “wrestling” becomes an awkward battle of snickers and limbs. His cock gets in the way, and to an outsider, this might look like a scene of an oddly gentle, upcoming rape… This little minx is giving him such an ache in his head and his loins that he’s gritting his teeth by the time he gets his hands around the wooden spear. By then, she has her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms above her head as she’s lying on her back with him on top of her.

“I’m not letting go,” she laughs as they both hold the spear, his erection now blissfully trapped between her legs.

“Who sent you,” he grunts, head spinning as he tries to figure out which of the gods is trying to give him trouble this time.

“What do you mean…?”

“You’re here to thwart and tease me. Tell me who sent you, now.”

“You think I’m sent by some angry god?”

Her eyes sparkle even more, if possible. She even giggles under him and under the sun, her laugh like a thousand little bells in his ears.

“That’s so cute…!”

His grunts turn into a hollow, painful growl – even Tartaros is better than this.

“Train me, and I’ll let you have your silly javelin,” she smiles, even licking her lips before they purse together innocently.

But he knows she’s far from innocent. She has to be a curse of some sort, a plight sent here to torment him, because he finds himself sighing, “Alright…”

He gives her one condition: she has to wear clothes; no flaunting herself around him and especially not around the other men if they were to ever see her. They will both get flogged or worse if this mockery comes to daylight… She gives him a soft, adoring smile this time, and says of course, whatever he says.

The next day, she’s waiting for him at the training grounds, javelin in her hands…

Completely, utterly naked.

#könig x reader #könig x you #silliness #torturing könig #we all know how this will end so i don't have to write a full fic for it right ^^

[captainsophiestark]

To The Stars

Rhysand x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses

Summary: With war on the horizon, Rhys and his mate have been busier than should be possible, with almost no time to even see each other. But sometimes, to stay sane, you have to make time.

Word Count: 1,064

Category: Fluff

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I squinted at the words on the paper in front of me, trying to get them to stop blurring. My eyes burned, and my head ached, and before I knew it, I was face down on the desk.

Not the first time it had happened to me, and probably not the last. But the Night Court was basically the only court who had our shit together and stood a chance at stopping Hybern, which meant it was on me and the rest of the Inner Circle to organize what we needed to organize to save the world as we knew it. That tended to lead to a lot of exhaustion.

Even worse, it had left me no time to see my mate, Rhysand, as we were both running around like maniacs, often in different directions. His face floated across my subconscious as I fought to stay awake despite my body begging me to rest my eyes and stay down on the desk. I thought I'd finally lost the battle when I heard his voice, calling my name in his smooth, soothing voice that had come to feel like home. Then I felt his hand on my shoulder, and realized this wasn't an exhaustion-induced dream.

I groaned, slowly dragging myself back into a sitting position as I blinked at Rhys through bleary eyes. He hardly looked better than me, with dark bags under his eyes. Still, he pulled a soft smile onto his face when he looked at me.

"You look about as tired as I feel," he said, voice a little more gravelly than usual. I huffed a sigh.

"I'm absolutely exhausted. But we have to do what it takes to have a chance at winning this war."

"We do."

The silence hung between us for a moment, the massive weight we carried together resting heavily on our shoulders. Then Rhys, my wonderful mate, sighed and gave me a tired smile, running his hand along my cheek.

"Come outside with me."

I raised an eyebrow at him, but his face didn't change. I held his stare, but when his calm expression didn't crack with even a hint of what he was up to, I finally gave in with a sigh of my own.

"Fine. But only because I love you so much. If anyone else was asking me to accompany them for mysterious reasons rather than wading through these papers or sleeping, I would tell them to fuck right off."

"I'll make sure to remember how lucky I am to be met with a different response."

I snorted, at myself more than him, and he shot me a small smile as I got to my feet. He held out a hand and led me out of our bedroom and up the stairs to the roof.

"If we had even a single extra second to string together, I would've told you to close your eyes first," Rhys said, a smile in his voice from ahead of me. I raised an eyebrow, more curious than ever as he stepped out onto the roof of the Velaris townhouse and I followed after him.

Rhysand stared at me with a massive grin on his face, holding his arms out slightly on either side in a 'ta-da' gesture. I looked just past him to find a nest of blankets assembled on the roof, with glasses of sparkling wine waiting for us. A small fire roared in a firepit that hadn't been there the last time I'd checked.

"We have to rest at some point, or so I've been told by every other member of our court. And if I have to take a break, I'd much prefer to take it with you."

I smiled, none of the tiredness leaving me but most of the tension draining away. I crossed the short distance between me and my mate, wrapping my arms around him tightly and breathing in his scent. I could hear his heart beating in his chest, the soft thud mixing with the crackling fire, and for just a moment everything was right with the world.

"How did I get so lucky as to find you?" I asked, a soft smile on my face as I at last pulled back to look at Rhys. The corner of his mouth quirked up, and he leaned in until his lips were just a breath away from mine.

"I wonder the same thing, how we could be so lucky to find each other, almost every day that I walk this world," he murmured. My heart swelled, and a heartbeat later Rhys closed the distance between us. I lost myself in his embrace and his soft, tender kiss.

We stayed locked together for a few long moments, then finally, reluctantly, I pulled back. Rhys watched me like a hawk, but I just gave him a little smile.

"We'll have time for that after wine and stargazing," I promised. He sighed, playing it up a little, even as he leaned back.

"I suppose it would be a shame to let it all go to waste."

I winked and gave him one last peck on the cheek, then led him over to the pile of blankets. The two of us made ourselves comfortable, snuggling into the warmth together and staring up at the crystal clear night sky. I sighed, the light from the stars shining out through the darkness above.

"This is beautiful," I murmured. Rhys handed me a glass, which I took, my eyes never leaving the night sky above.

"It really is. It helps, to look at this. To look at Velaris. And you. To... remember what we're fighting for."

"Yeah. Yeah, it does."

I finally tore my eyes away from the starlight overhead to look at my mate, meeting his sparkling eyes. I would go to the absolute ends of the world for him, and I knew he would do the same for me. The road ahead would be hard, against Hybern and the other courts, but how could anything hope to stand against us? Especially when we had the rest of our friends behind us, too.

"To the stars who listen," he said, lifting his glass to mine with a half-smile. I returned the gesture, the soft clink of the glasses ringing out in the night.

"And the dreams that are answered."

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

#sophie's year of fic #a court of thorns and roses #rhysand #sarah j maas #acotar #rhysand x reader #rhys #acotar fanfiction #a court of thorns and roses fanfiction #rhysand fanfiction #rhysand oneshot #rhysand imagine #actoar oneshot #acotar imagine #velaris #a court of dreams #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #high lord of the night court #high lord rhysand

[makeste]

do you perhap have bakugou whump fic recs?

I have many such recs! not all of them are "whump" in the purest sense of the word, but they've got angst and hurt/comfort in abundance, so yeah.

I also have an older rec post from like five years ago which has quite a few Bakugou whump fics as well, so I'll link that here.

and here are like 16 new ones lol.

some quick notes:

I'm just including links and summaries here, so please make sure to check the tags for each fic if you have certain squicks or triggers you're trying to avoid!

please be aware that I am not very nitpicky about grammar and style and spelling and the like, so long as I'm feeling the characterization and general vibes. so while I can't promise that all of these fics will read like Nobel Prize-winning lit, I can say that I personally enjoyed each one enough to go back and reread more than once.

although it tends to be one of the most common tropes in Bakugou angst fics, I do not vibe with the "abusive Mitsuki" angle, so you won't find any of that in the works below. same goes for Midnight-bashing (which is also surprisingly common).

I also did not include any fics with sad endings just because I didn't feel like depressing myself today lol.

I don't think there are manga spoilers in any of these fics except one (which I noted and marked with an asterisk), but definitely check the tags just to be safe.

lastly, though I'm by no means a prude when it comes to fanfic, all of these particular fics are SFW, just FYI.

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gen Bakuwhump:

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It's Already Tomorrow on the Other Side of the World by Nicole_Silverwolf

In the absolute immediate aftermath of his rescue at Kamino, Bakugou just wants to sleep. If he sleeps then this nightmare will be over. Except he's freezing in the mid August heat. And he can't stop shaking. A glimpse of two imperfect humans trying their best told in 3.5 parts.

post-Kamino Dadzawa and Katsuki. easily one of my all-time favorite BnHA fics. it's so sad and cozy.

Coming Up for Air by achievingelysium

Katsuki has nightmares. He doesn't think he deserves the comfort, but Aizawa-sensei sits with him anyway.

more Dadzawa dealing with nighttime Kacchan angst, since that's like my #1 BnHA fic aesthetic. this is so well-written. like, there are a couple of lines in here that just... guh. just hit right to the core of me.

Bakugou's "Super Fun" Three Day Vacation by Marvelless

Bakugou and his parents arrive home after the Kamino Ward incident for some much-needed recovery time.

post-Kamino Bakufam angst. lots of paranoia and dissociation. this is one of those fics that's sort of a guilty pleasure for me, because Katsuki definitely feels a lot more... fragile?... in this than I think he would have been in canon. but he's still enough of a grump during all of his spiralling that it still feels like him. and I do love me some Bakufam wholesomeness, and this fic has got that in spades.

the art of poor judgement by emelinelou

It's a Tuesday when Bakugou admits to himself that maybe, maybe he is sorta, kinda under the weather. Things go quickly downhill from there. . Alternatively: Bakugou's too stubborn to be "sick," Midoriya and Kirishima are in over their heads, Todoroki is the Most Useful in a pinch, and Aizawa is not paid nearly enough for this.

probably my favorite sickfic. chapter two especially. Bakugou's narration in this is fucking fantastic. he's so fucking done with life. meanwhile everyone around him is freaking out, and he himself is a complete mess even though he won't acknowledge it, and it's just great. it's equal parts funny, sad, and absolutely adorable.

(incidentally, even though this fic is marked as incomplete, it really doesn't feel that way and ends at a perfectly reasonable stopping point, so don't let that put you off.)

Solar Flare by TheQueen

Three weeks after Katsuki Bakugou receives his quirk, he takes a short tumble off a bridge and watches, dumbfounded, as stupid Deku extend a hand. Don’t take it, the universe commands. Don’t tell me what to do! Katsuki snaps.

this is a really cool AU in which Baby Katsuki accidentally starts defying the universe and ignoring his predestined path, which has a profound ripple effect on his life. sort of like a time-travel fix-it, minus the time travel. also just a heads up that Bakugou is like five years old in this so I guess it's technically a kidfic. and there is plenty of angst, a little bit of whump, more Bakufam, and plenty of baby Kacchan and Deku being cute like it's their job.

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BKDK/DKBK whump:

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lose it all (with eyes wide open) by ghostwriterofthemachine

Katsuki is blinded. Izuku is muted. Both of them are kidnapped. Things get worse.

this is one of those fics that just kind of leaves you stunned at how freaking good it is. featuring: psychological mindgames, hopelessly bleak situations, and codependency so utterly raw and desperate that it broke my heart roughly 17 times.

When Ice Doesn't Float by Ma_skee

A simple rescue exercise goes south when Izuku falls through the ice and it goes from a class assinment to an actual rescue and a race against time to keep him from freezing to death.

technically this is more Dekuwhump than Kacchanwhump (though we do get a bit of the latter toward the end), but I'd argue that few things could possibly stress Katsuki out more than being in a tense survival situation in which Deku is hurt and needs help. anyway so yeah. this is classic hurt/comfort and very good.

spinning out of control by mollE

Katsuki joins the 'I've Been Mind Controlled' Club. He wishes he hadn't.

please see above re: how all Dekuwhump scenarios are secretly Kacchanwhump scenarios in disguise. anyway so basically a mind-controlled Bakugou beats the shit out of Deku while being fully aware of it the entire time, and has a complete (and understandable) emotional breakdown afterwards.

all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing by maxisnotokay

Izuku has had this thing about him that Katsuki has never been able to name, but he's been chasing it since he learned how to run. It takes a catastrophic building collapse during their third year and a severe concussion for him to realize what it is. Aizawa loses ten years off his life. When does he not.

gotta love a good building collapse fic. this one has a concussed Katsuki, a very worried Izuku, and the usual "thanks to this intimate life-or-death situation, I have belatedly realized some fundamental truths about the nature of our relationship" tropes. but it's good. a lot of really good banter and back-and-forth dialogue in this one too.

takes one to know one by Sour_Idealist

Deku has left UA. Ochako still looks for him in unguarded moments. Bakugo is, unsurprisingly, being a jerk.

some good emotional hurt/comfort post-Jakku. Ochako has a chat with Bakugou about Deku. specifically, Bakugou's feelings toward Deku. it's good shit.

*fear is the heart of love by nikkiRA

*please be advised this fic contains major manga spoilers!!

Bakugou gets hit by a quirk that amplifies his greatest fear for 24 hours.

losing Deku. the thing that scares him the most is losing Deku. this is a good fic. emotional hurt/comfort for days. though once again do keep in mind that there are a couple of major spoilers in this.

silence is what i do best by notreally

the one where both Izuku and Katsuki were hit with a truth serum sort of quirk, and things aren't going all too well.

not just a truth-telling quirk, but a truth-compulsion quirk, to the extent that (spoiler alert) the quirk causes them physical pain and distress if they don't speak the truth. which, as you can imagine, leads to all sorts of extremely vulnerable conversations and a lot of good h/c.

close by not quite by blossomshed

When Bakugou goes after a beacon during a class-wide rescue op, he doesn't expect to find Deku - or to find himself dealing with the fallout of a gift he doesn't want, and a side of himself he'd never bothered to examine. He deals with it nonetheless.

this fic is so dear to me. it's yet another "Deku transfers OFA to Bakugou fic", but it's just so fucking good. and it also features a (very much confused) ace Bakugou, which is such a rare find. there are lines from this fic which I still think about constantly. it's funny and profound and adorable and so wonderfully IC, please go read it.

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BONUS NON-ANGSTY FICS because I just felt like ending this list with some happy stories where Kacchan gets a lot of love:

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give me compliments (i said give me compliments) by wonhaebunny

“It’s just cute,” Ashido is telling them as she walks into the classroom. “Like, when you compliment someone and they get flustered so easily, don’t you think it’s endearing?” Kaminari blinks. “Like Bakugou?” he asks slowly. - 1-a realises that katsuki is really, really bad at receiving compliments. exposure therapy ensues.

he is bad at accepting compliments. this is a very, very cute fic.

The Friendship Ladder by nikkiRA

Bakugou and Kirishima tell their classmates they're dating, but everyone seems more interested in who gets to claim the newly vacated spot of Bakugou’s best friend.

as the summary implies this is technically KRBK, but the focus here is very much class 1-A as a whole. there's just something about seeing the entirety of the class squabbling over their Kacchan love that tickles me to no end. Deku is also fantastic in this lmao.

The Yoshida Trail by WinterSwallow

Mitsuki Bakugo returns with her gift to the mountain.

last but not least we have this gorgeous character study with a criminally low view count. Mitsuki climbs Mt. Fuji with an eight-year-old Katsuki in tow, as the fic explores his childhood and young adulthood through a series of vignettes. the insights in this really have no business being as profound as they are, given that they're voiced from the perspective of one of the most graceless characters in the series as she observes her equally graceless son through all the ups and downs and tumbles of his life. but somehow that just makes the whole thing even better. idk I just really love this a lot.

---

anyway that's it for now. hope at least a few of these are enjoyable. thanks for the ask!

#bakugou katsuki #bakudeku #bkdk #fic recs #bnha fic recs #bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha

[shewrites444]

ghost [xavier plympton x reader]

[ inspired from ahs 1984, and of course written by me. super cheesy smut fic since i wrote this over a year ago and it has been sitting in my drafts, but why not post it for my ahs lovers. enjoy! ]

word count - 2.4k

[summary: the reader is a counselor at the former camp redwood, now camp meadow, and meets a very friendly, yet also flirtatious ghost during her first night.]

[warnings: dirty talk, oral, unprotected sex]

regardless of how much my mom and i argued, i continued to deny her stupid reasons to not work at camp meadow the summer. the second massacre of 1984 was not even in the current century, so i knew not to overreact about any possible harm coming my way. i loved a good thrill anyway, so maybe some stupid kids pretending to be the night stalker or mr. jingles would be the most enjoyable portion of the long week anyway.

after finally convincing my friend [y/f/n] to come with me, i was felt my decision was for the best. the drive was a few hours long and once we arrived, we were able to meet our fellow counselors and the head counselor, who seemed nice enough, and not very strict whatsoever.

"i'm going to try my hardest to make this week enjoyable for not only the kids, but the counselors as well." miss thompson smiled at us, nodding her head with respect towards the young group. "i know this place has a lot of bad memories, but with a new name, new cabins, and much more, we can make newer, better memories. if you guys have any concerns or questions, please let me know. i'm available anytime."

[y/f/n] nods, then raises her hand, which miss thompson acknowledges immediately. "what about showers? we haven't gone over that yet."

miss thompson told us we had to shower before midnight, to make sure we had hot water the next morning for the kids, in case they needed a bath or anything of the sort.

after taking turns one by one, i was last in line for my shower. i decided to wait until it was dark, so i didn't have any concerns about my friends coming to prank me with stupid, useless scares. they were all tired, cuddled up in their bunks and ready to prepare for the next morning, which would be extremely busy with the amount of kids the head counselor said we were expecting.

i grab my towel and a change of clothes, along with my razor, and made my way towards the showers. i set everything down before stripping off my baggy, light washed jeans and plain black crop top, then turn the water on, waiting until it's hot enough to step into.

i close my eyes, humming quietly to myself as i wet my hair, reaching over to grab the shampoo bottle. i squirt it into my hand, then sigh upon realizing it's all out.

"just fucking fantastic." i scoff, setting the bottle down and just deciding to shave instead. i grab the bar of soap and lather my right leg up, grabbing the razor and sliding it against my skin.

while doing so, i feel a cold gust of wind against my heated, wet skin, looking up with confusion as it suddenly stops. i shake my head, ignoring the situation and going back to my legs. after shaving, i set the razor down and glance to the shower next to me, seeing there was no shampoo in there, either. i really preferred to wash my hair tonight, knowing that it would be funky the next day, since we were expected to take the kids in canoes and swimming.

"looking for this?" i hear a low masculine voice, making me jump and squeak in surprise, turning around to see a blonde boy, dressed in a pair of white khakis and a teal sweatshirt, with a pair of white high-top converse. he had one silver cross earring, which hung on his right ear and shook as he stepped closer, holding a small shampoo bottle in his hand.

i blink numerous times, trying to fathom the fact that the boy was really there. he looked like he belonged in a different universe, or era, to say the least. i step closer and grab it from him, squeezing it in my hands to assure what was happening was actually real. i realize that if this is real, i'm bare ass naked in front of this random guy.

i snatch the towel from the sink, holding it over my body as my cheeks begin to heaten, and not just from the hot water. "who the fuck are you? and why the fuck are you in here while i'm showering?!"

he ran his fingers through his blonde highlights, laughing to himself, as if the situation was amusing. "well, i actually live here. i heard you and your buddies talking about the massacres that took place here earlier today. kinda disappointed you don't recognize me."

i wrap the towel around myself, stepping closer to him, and crossing my arms in complete confusion. "i'm sorry, but i don't think anyone just casually lives at camp meadow. this is like, a summer camp. i don't think it's legal to live here unless you own the camp, and the person who owns this place is a woman. so, i ask again, who are you, and why in the hell should i recognize you?"

"i'm xavier!" he yells in frustration, seeming offended i didn't know this infamous name. "xavier plympton. i was one of the few who were killed here in the '84 massacre. you haven't read up on the conspiracy there's ghosts here? you're looking at one from the 80's." he winks, watching as my eyes widen in shock.

"there's no way." i shake my head, looking at him from head to toe, completely flabbergasted by his unrealistic explanation. "ghosts can't just live here on earth forever, right? i thought you guys would at least go to heaven or hell, or something. not that i believe in that shit, but you'd at least go somewhere other than here."

xavier shrugged, taking a step closer to me, reaching his hand to my bare, wet shoulder. he smiled, sighing as he felt my skin. "i wish i felt like this again. being a ghost sucks sometimes. i feel so empty, so inhuman. i haven't felt someone so warm, so human, in years."

i pull back, pushing his hand off of me. "okay, um, xavier plympton. sorry to disappoint, but you probably won't be feeling this human ever again. now if you'll excuse me, i really need to wash my hair. thank you for the shampoo, but i seriously need you to leave."

he sighed, crossing his arms and lightly tapping his foot in annoyance at my resistance. "come on, [y/n]. i'm the whole reason you can even wash your hair. one more touch please, maybe on your face or something? it makes me feel normal again!" he whines, making a pouty face towards me.

"how do you know my name, weirdo?" i ask, looking at him with annoyance and a bit of confusion. "and no, you can't touch my face. if anything, that's the farthest from feeling normal. that's just being a creep."

xavier walked closer to me, "i do my research. i have nothing else to do around here, so why not eavesdrop on the new counselors before they're here forever like the rest of us, hm?"

my eyes widen as i walk back, hitting the shower water with my back, and feeling the towel begin to get soaked. i gulp, trying to scan him for any potential weapon. "well, if you kill me, then you won't be able to like.. touch my shoulder or whatever.. i thought you wanted to feel what it was like to be human, remember?"

he laughed, reaching to tug the side of the towel, biting his lip and looking up to meet our eyes. "i wouldn't hurt you or let anyone else do so, [y/n]. you're not like everyone else around here. you seem different, like you aren't afraid of a fucking stick breaking when you walk at night like those other pussy counselors. i mean, you came out here at almost midnight and showered all alone, so it's like you were practically begging me to touch more then just your shoulder.."

i blush, crossing my arms to make his fingers break from the fabric, breathing in and out rather heavily, as i felt my stomach turn at his words. "what would ever make you think i'd want you to touch me? maybe that's your brain, just because you've only had ghost pussy for like twenty years."

"maybe, instead, it's because you excite me." xavier snaps back with a flick of his pink tongue. he grabs the towel, slowly pulling it back off of me, then tossing it to the wooden floor. he grabs the shampoo, squirting some into his palm before lathering it up, gesturing for me to turn around. he sinks his fingers into my hair, beginning to wash it with soft, relaxing strokes from his fingertips. i close my eyes, practically melting at his touch and feeling my legs quickly drench with pleasure as he begins to kiss down my wet neck and soon to my bare shoulders.

this goes on for a few minutes, when he then helps to wash the shampoo out of my hair, and turns me back towards him. i watch him strip of his clothing, except for his light blue boxers, which showed off his stiff, hard length, poking directly towards my wet pussy.

i chew my lip, looking down at his length, before locking our lust-filled eyes. he moves closer to press his lips against my cheek, then smiles seductively.

"if i'm going to fuck you, i'd like to do so in a place more, comfortable. for the both of us, of course." he explains, taking my hand and pulling me away from the water. i look to him, raising a brow, and watching as he hands me the towel.

i follow him outside, as he walks towards an empty cabin, several down from the one i was staying in. i let him sit me down on the bed, where i pull the towel off of myself and set it on the dresser. i lay on my back, spreading my legs in his direction as he pulls his boxers down. he looks at me with a grin, chuckling as he walks over to shut my legs, making my sit up with complete confusion.

"thought we were going to have sex, xavier. not play games, right?" i chirp, looking at the blonde as he sticks two fingers in his mouth, then pins me back down, sliding them to my clit, answering my own question. so no sex yet, only some foreplay so far, which was absolutely fine by me.

he came off as a man who wanted to skip the foreplay, but the second he pumped his fingers inside of me, i was thankfully my interpretation was wrong. i gasp, letting out a loud moan as he began to finger me, curling his digits inside of me with each thrust, in and out.

xavier leaned down to latch his lips to my nipple, sucking softly for a minute before pulling his head up. he looks down at me, pleased with my moans, while he reads my lustful expression.

"the minute i saw you walk into this camp, i knew you'd been needing a good dicking, [y/n]. the way you looked at those other counselors when they were introduced to you.. you've been wanting someone inside of you for awhile now, and who better then me, hm?" he talked into my ear, his hot breath against my skin as he worked his magic inside of me. "i could fuck you so hard tonight you'd never wanna leave camp, baby. you'd be begging for my cock from when you wake up to when you go to sleep. i can already feel how good your pussy is, so i may be begging you for the same later.."

i glance up at him, then down to his hand, as he rapidly finger fucks my insides. i'm dripping at his touch, my juices sinking between my ass cheeks and his fingers, visibly noticeable as he pulls out of me, moving his index and middle fingers to my throbbing clit.

as he rubs, i moan loudly, my eyes shut while he motions himself in front of me. he kneels on the bed, using his free hand to line up his length with my pussy. he pushes himself in slowly, as a way to warn me of what's to come. he was big, and it was now very obvious as he had already filled a substantial portion of my insides with not even half his cock. i nod with reassurance, allowing him to push himself into me, so deep his balls were pressing against my folds.

xavier begins to thrust, pulling his hand away from my clit and taking a hold of my own hand, lacing his fingers with mine. he smushes our lips together, the kiss entrancing the both of us as we become one through a sinful, yet so beautifully pleasurable act.

"you feel so good, [y/n]... dead or alive, this is the best pussy i've ever had in my life.. i never want to stop fucking you, baby.." xavier compliments me, giving me a wink as he raises himself back up. he keeps our hands together, thrusting himself inside as he lets out small moans, and continues to speak his sexual, dirty words to me.

he looks down at me, watching as my tits bounce with each one of his rapid, fast-paced movements. "how do you like this cock, sweetheart? so thick and long for you, hmm? you make me hurt with lust, babygirl. you make me want to cum deep inside you."

"please, xavier. please cum inside me.." i moan, nodding as i look up at him, my mouth hung open as he rocks my body in the bed. "that's all i want right now, for you to fill me up so good.. i need you so bad.. i need you to fill my pussy.. fuck.."

"and that i fucking shall." xavier pushes inside of me with one last deep thrust, filling my walls with his warm, thick seed. he pulls out, a small portion of white trailing from his head and to my pussy lips.

i sit up, panting as i pull myself off the bed, leaning down onto my weak, shaking knees. i place my lips on the tip, sucking the excess down my throat. he shivers at my touch, moving one hand to cup my cheek and insist i stand back up.

"maybe tomorrow night you can reward me with head, baby. you've got a big day soon." he pecks my lips, handing me the towel off the floor. "so why don't you go clean up, again, and i'll see you soon."

i smirk, nodding as i wrap the towel around my top. "xavier, please join me. maybe i'll wash your hair this time." i wink, watching him pull his boxers up.

he laughed, shaking his head. "i hate to reject the offer, sweetheart, but i need my beauty sleep, too. go get some sleep, because tomorrow night will be far longer than tonight's."

i turn around, my cheeks burning as i open the cabin door and shut it behind me, walking back to the showers. i couldn't believe i had just let a ghost fuck me, and that ghost being the xavier plympton. maybe i'd have to stick around camp meadow for longer than this week after all.

[ a/n - i did want to mention i will be writing much more in a few weeks - finals and college/work in general has been consuming a lot of my time lately, but i am hoping to find some inspiration for new fics soon! ]

#xavier plympton #x yn #x reader #xavier plympton smut #ahs 1984 #ahs smut #ahs fandom #american horror story #ahs apocalypse #xavier plympton imagine #xavier plympton x reader #cody fern

[laurfilijames]

All week I told myself that on Sunday, I was going to write all day.

I opened my laptop up for the first time in two weeks. I haven't written a word since I finished editing Expensive and tried for over an hour to work on my series Like My Dreams.

I thought about it all week and have been so eager to continue it, only the words won't come.

I know it's not for lack of passion or wanting to; I think about this story (and all the other ones) constantly.

I've been trying to deny some feelings for a while, or chalk it up to getting too much in my own head, but today it's come down heavier than ever and what is ultimately responsible for blocking my creativity and turning my love for my stories from thoughts into actual sentences.

I'm lonely.

I've never felt so alone.

The Charlie fandom seems to be relatively non existent, or just extremely quiet.

I have no space. No where I fit in.

I'm on the outskirts, trying to find a spot, constantly seeing if there is a way I can have a place for my ideas, stories, and even friendship, and have it hold some value to the others I'm around.

The more I post on here, the less I feel seen.

Engagement on this platform has reduced drastically across the board, and it's effecting so many artists.

It's not about numbers. I'm sure some of you are probably thinking "your last fic has over 100 notes". Yeah. It does. Almost all of those notes are likes, and more than half the reblogs are my own.

What I'm seeking is engagement. Conversation. A likeness and kinship started by a common interest that blooms into simple conversations and thoughts shared.

Comparison is a bitch. I see so many people living the Tumblr life I wish to have. Asks, comments, reblogs of teasers and moodboards for upcoming fics screaming of excitement and praise and how eager they are to read it. People dropping everything they're doing to read the latest chapter of their friend's new fic.

I realize the many reasons why I'm in a different position than they are, but lately it's been screaming at me louder than ever that I'm lacking something meaningful or whatever I'm doing on here isn't enough.

I've tried creating a buzz around my stories. I am aware that most of the time I write for unpopular characters with a smaller fan base, so I set the bar lower but am still left feeling inadequate even when I write for the popular ones. Whenever I've shared snippets of WIPs in hopes to gain some excitement from my readers, it falls short. Usually it'll inspire me to keep going, to write better than ever and make this next fic The Best One that makes me so happy and excited to get out. (For Charlie, I'll say, and write something I'm so unbelievably proud of) and then sometimes it makes me wonder if I should bother continuing at all.

I know I am not owed anything by anyone and no one is obligated to read or comment or anything of the sort, and I am beyond grateful for the comments and support I do receive, and the friendships I've made, old and new.

I'm not exactly sure what I'm getting at here, I just needed to write it down and "talk" it out.

I've been battling the decision to continue writing but not share it. I don't want that to happen, because as much as I write these stories for myself, a lot of the fun of it comes from being able to share it with all of you.

Nothing dramatic is happening. I'm not leaving, and I will be writing again because I'm not at all done with what I have to say about these characters, I just felt this needed to be said and already feel a little lighter by sharing it.

Write your stories, comment on your favourite fics, scream with your mutuals about a photo or gif that inspired something in you, tell your writer friends and writers you've never spoken to but love their stories just how much you do... I promise it makes more of an impact than you know. 💗

#personal

[kenny-the-ken]

Y O U + M E |Pt 3|

A LOT OF WARNINGS WITH THIS ONE!!!! ALL AGED UP CHARACTERS AND IN HIGH SCHOOL/COLLEGE!! Loosely based on the Netflix show YOU, if y'all have seen it,,, then you know what Kenny's gonna do. If you haven't seen it,,, strap yourselves in, it's a lot!! Yandre Kenny, strong language, sexual content, violence, mentions of blood, gore, stalking, obsession and narcissistic thinking, so please beware!! I warned y'all!!

ALSO!!! A lot of this fic is written as Kenny's internal monologue and from his perspective so bare that in mind!!

Spring break. The literal bane of my existence. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love parties, I've taken more drugs than most people I know, excluding my parents of course, but Spring Break in the US was known for crazy parties, girls half naked in bikinis, guys chugging 2% alcohol content beers thinking that they're the shit, and copious amounts of drugs.

I don't care about any of that though, no, not at all, which you may be extremely shocked to hear, the only thing I cared about was, what were you doing for spring break?

Were you going to any parties? Were you meeting any friends, old or new? Were you planning to show yourself off in a tiny bikini, not that I'm complaining, but I'd rather see you like that alone, without other men's wondering eyes glaring at you as if you're a piece of meat. I can promise you y/n, that would not end well for anyone involved.

I had texted you this morning, like we do every morning. We fucked but after that it felt like we drifted apart. Or rather, you drifted from me. So here I sit, in my bathroom, cock in hand with my face buried in your used panties that I'd stolen from a while back, I assumed you didn't miss them much, and anyway, they were currently in use.

I'd give anything for another taste, your lips were soft, plumped, and oh so red from how aggressive I can be, your h/c cascaded perfectly down your back, and your breasts.

"Fuck." I knew thinking about you like this would make me cum faster, and that's exactly what I wanted, for reasons you'll find out soon enough.

Your pierced nipples and how perfectly shaped they were, your ass was round and perfect for slapping when you needed taught a lesson. Your hips were perfect for gripping, and oh how I'd grip your hips and fuck myself deeper and deeper and shit.

And just like that, here I am, hand covered in my own jizz, cock twitching between my legs and your panties still in my hand.

I have a box, I keep it under lock and key behind my wardrobe, just some little souvenirs, your panties, some nude Polaroids I'd found of you in your bedroom. Oh yeah, and one of Clyde's teeth. Just to remember him by.

You see, although we weren't dating, that didn't mean that you weren't in need of protection, you see, I'd overheard Clyde chatting to Jimmy about how he was thinking of asking you on a date. Now, I've known Clyde for a long time, he uses women like they're nothing, fucks 'em, leaves 'em.

What did you expect me to do? I mean, I did this for you! He was going to take advantage of your kindness and use you for his own sexual gratification and desires and then throw you away like you're worthless, and you are far from worthless. I'd kiss your feet as you walked the earth if you'd let me, oh how I'd worship you, like you deserve to be.

It wasn't too hard to kill Clyde, you see, when you've been known as a fuck boy before, which I unfortunately have been, other fuck boys, they tend to trust you more. So Clyde was pretty easy to reel in. I told him the truth, how I was working on an English project with you and I fucked you in your bedroom, and Clyde was all over that shit like a dog on heat. He was so focussed on what he was planning to text to you, obviously with my keen eye proof reading it for him, he was too distracted to notice me coming behind him with a brick. He only realised just as it was too late, sorry dude, your skull's caved in.

We needn't worry about the details of where his body is, let's just say... I've taken care of it. And tonight was our date, and also the first night of spring break, I would ask you what you were up to, and of course I wouldn't demand to come, unless you chose to invite me, no, I would just hang out in background, you won't even notice that I'm there. And I dare anyone to try anything, they would be dead men walking.

It didn't take long for the time of our date to roll around, and I stood on your doorstep, politely knocking on your door a few times, before smiling as the door cracked open.

You were breathtaking. I'd worked my ass off at City Wok to be able to afford to take you out to dinner, and my god, no food could ever look as delicious as you looked right now. Your tits, your hips, your ass, your legs, your hair, your face, everything! We were destined to be together, and when you smiled back at me I swore my heart swole in my chest.

"Hey, Kenny. You ready to go?" You asked, pulling your leather jacket on over your short, black dress that was showing off way too much cleavage for me to control myself for the entire evening, god I'd take you right here right now if I could.

"I was born ready, baby. I got these for you." I replied, bowing to you and holding out a small bouquet of flowers, your hand clutching your chest, and a gasp leaving your red stained lips.

"They're beautiful, Ken! Oh you shouldn't have! I'll just go get these into a vase, please come in." You spoke like an angel, and who was I to say no to an invitation into your home?

"I wanted to. I really do mean what I said last time, I've had my eye on you from you moved here, y/n, and you're different than those other girls, you're special, I can tell." You cheeks were flushed which meant that my charm was working. You'd be mine soon, and as much as I wanted to show you off to the world, I also wanted to hide you from it, so no one would dare to try and steal what's rightfully mine, or they'd end up like Clyde. Buried in the middle of fuck knows where.

"Had your eye on me? Not a little stalker are you, McCormick?" You joked, and I hoped it was a joke, you were laughing and so was I, so that was a good sign.

"Not at all! I mean, how could my eyes not go to you when you walk past me? I mean, look at you!" And slinging my arms round your hips would surely make you see that I was nothing but a pure gentleman.

"You're such a flirt, Kenny." God the way you looked at me, it was no surprise that to me that you'd stolen my heart, god the things I would do to you, the things I would do for you, oh they were criminal, but in this moment as I stood staring into your perfect e/c eyes, I couldn't care if my crimes caught up with me, I mean, getting away with it would be easy, trust me, I'm not that stupid.

Around two hours had passed and so far, our date seemed to be going perfectly, you were laughing at my jokes, I flirted, and you flirted right back, you'd told me about a huge spring break party at Tolken's house, you'd asked me to be your plus one, of course I'd gratefully accept, I needed to keep you safe, you even took my hand within your own when we were leaving the restaurant, my plan was working a charm, and you'd invited me in to your house for a quick night cap, no doubt I'd be staying the night.

And when you led me to your bedroom wearing nothing but some skimpy lingerie, I knew that your panties that were in my safe would be getting a much needed night off from being pressed against my face.

You were on top of me, grinding on me, fuck you were so needy, and my cock was growing by the second, I couldn't help but groan and pull your hips down against my own.

I'd swapped the positions, and now you lay beneath me, I'd left dozens of hickeys all over your neck, your breasts, your stomach, thighs, and now I was going to taste your sweet cunt again, god I couldn't wait, it had been too long from I'd tasted you, had my tongue inside you, claiming your insides, god I was starved, and I couldn't wait any longer, and just as I pressed a closed mouth kiss against your parted lips, your fucking phone rang.

"Ignore it. Don't answer." I ordered, my tongue lapping up your wetness, a moan coming from your lips as your phone started ringing again, and of course, being the kind person that you are, you answered.

And this couldn't have been a worse time, your face was worried, and you moved my head from where I wanted desperately to be for the past week, it was your mother.

Drug overdose, she was in hospital and you had to be there to take care of her, not that she ever did the same for you. No, you'd told me previously that our lives were similar in a lot of ways, and that's where my need to protect you came from. You were like a delicate flower awaiting to bloom, but others put you in the dark, stopped you ever from doing so, from ever reaching your full potential, but I was here now. I was going to care for you, I'd put you in the sun and give you all the love and support I could, the perfect partner, a soul mate some may say.

And as you hurried to pull your sweatpants and T-shirt on to your small frame, tears welling in the corners of your eyes, you gave me a hug, whispering sweet apologies, and I offered to come with you, which you declined. And I understood why, I hated people meeting my parents, seeing my sorry excuse of a home, fitted with built in meth lab in the garden. You were embarrassed, ashamed of your drug addict mother, and I felt that pain, I knew it personally. I was strong enough to deal with it, but you darling, you're too fragile, far too good to be feeling that way, and by god would I protect you from anything.

I'm so sorry to say this baby, your mother will never get clean, she's never been clean your entire life, it truly is a miracle that she's lasted this long. I'd be doing you and everyone else a favour. You'd told me this wasn't the first overdose she'd had, and every one made you feel the same way, like you were the parent, like you were at fault, you didn't keep an attentive enough eye on her, the pain you were feeling was soul destroying, not just for you, but for me too! How dare that woman who brought you into this world make you feel so awful, how dare she cause you pain and misery, if she died it would mean she couldn't cause any more of that, sure you'd be sad, but you'd realise in time that life was better without having to worry every time you left the house if you would come back to your mother, her skin blue and covered in her own vomit, which she choked on in her drug idled state.

And I would care for you, I'd be your shoulder to cry on, your support network, your lover and your boyfriend all tied into one, the whole package, you'd fall straight into my lap and I swear, I'd never ever let you go.

I'm sorry hunny, but your mother needs to be dealt with, and it would be easier than you'd think, one bad batch could wipe out hundreds of drug addicts, and besides, it's not as if I'd never used this method before. My parents died of an 'overdose', well, at least that's what the coroner's report said on the matter, Karen was put into my care, and the home was given to us, and life had been so much happier from I did my whole family a favour and took them out of the equation, and I know you will feel the same, in time at least.

As I drove you to the hospital you told me about your childhood. How you'd been in foster care, then your mother cleaned her act up and for a long time she was stable and in recovery, till she met some douchebag when you were ten, and she was back to using again, and your life had never been the same since.

When we pulled up outside the hospital, you hugged me tightly and kissed me twice, telling me that you'd text me later, and thanking me for the lovely evening, I assured you that this was to be the first of many of these delightful evenings, and even in the deepest depths of your pain, you still smiled at me.

I watched you till your figure disappeared inside the hospital, and I knew there and then what had to be done. I'm sorry baby, but your mother isn't good for you, she's not good for you, not good for us!

She had to go, and I had to be the one to kill her.

#kenny mccormick #kenny south park #kenny mccormick x reader #kenny mccormick smut #eric cartman #stan marsh #kyle brovlofski #kyle south park #south park #stan south park #south park smut #south park x reader #south park boys #fanfic #you netflix #yandere

[hey-kae]

Post-Victory

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x female reader

Request: After reading that 5 time orgasm I couldn't help but wonder if you wrote about other drivers too? Cause not gonna lie, I would sell my soul to see gentleman Carlos giving the ofc at least 3 mind blown orgasm written by you 🤤 If it is possible please make it enemies to lover or put some tension between them, it is my fav🥲 Thank u for your amazing fics and writing, they are perfecttttt

Warnings: fingering, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex

Sidenote: I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really like how this turned out but I’ve rewritten it so many times that i just gave up. I’m so sorry to disappoint!! I’m im such an angsty mood so that kinda explains it but it’s also the fact that i’m just not attracted to Carlos no matter how hard i try to convince myself to be ( don’t come at me please, he’s just not my type but he is good looking so yeah).

Life as a content creator for Ferrari was significantly easy on most days, just carrying a phone around, filming the right videos and posting at the right times. On other days, the phone was shoved into your hands and you were thrown in front of Carlos and Charles to film one of the now infamously silly tiktoks. Those days spent under the Spanish driver’s glaring stare were living hell, especially since most times, the looks escalated into snide comments you’d exchange until some other team member told the two of you to knock it off and get to work.

It was ridiculous, really. You and Carlos had absolutely no reason to hate each other, it seemed to come naturally for some unknown reason.

After the Silverstone race, you had to visibly fight the urge to roll your eyes dramatically when you were asked to meet with Sainz in the motorhome after he had won his first ever Grand Prix. Sure, as a member of the Ferrari team, you were happy about the victory, but had it been up to you, you would’ve enjoyed the win much more from a distance without having to get up close and personal with the winner himself. It might be an unpopular opinion, but it was yours and you would’ve stood your ground if had the choice to. Instead, you sucked it up and sulked your way back to the red motorhome, your eyes immediately going to search for Carlos, knowing he had already finished his podium celebrations.

You searched for him for several minutes, passing by every room in the motorhome, asking every person you passed if they had run into him.

There was no signs of him.

“Fucking hell, Carlos.” You cussed under your breath, climbing the stairs up to the level where the drivers’ rooms were, knowing that was you last resort.

Sure enough, his room was alive with sounds of him moving around it.

You stormed in, having had enough of him already even though you weren’t even in the same room yet. There he was, now dressed in a Ferrari shirt and some jeans, rummaging through the bag on his desk.

“Why the hell aren’t you downstairs, Sainz?” You spit the words out with so much anger.

“Because we need to film a video?” He responded with a frown, not understanding your attitude.

“Here? We’re filming on the main-“

“You know, a congratulations would be nice. It won’t kill you.” He cut you off, taking one too many steps towards you and reaching behind you to slam the door shut.

“Ok, great. Congratulations. Now let’s get this over with.” You gestured for him to hurry up and move along.

“You are unbelievable.” He shook his head in disbelief, moving away from you.

“Well, good thing your opinion about me doesn’t really matter.” Your words made his head snap towards you, anger starting to cloud his expression.

“I’d love to fuck that attitude out of you some day, preciosa.” He chuckled with pure spite, his look piercing its way through you.

The phone in your hand threatened to slip out grip as Carlos’ words startled you, to say the least, so in attempt to attempt to mask this reaction you had, you tossed the small device onto the desktop, the sound of the impact silencing the room.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Your voice was right up there on the scale of shouting at the spanish man.

“Oh, i’m sure you heard me.” He narrowed his eyes at you, moving back towards you until your back was flush against the wall, his arm reached beside him to slam the door shut.

“Why the fuck do you think you have the right to talk to me like that? You are such an entitled prick!” You spit the words out.

Every single one of your nerves was pulsing with feelings you didn’t want to feel, things that you thought were impossible to feel. It seemed like your blood was rushing too fast and your skin had gotten a little too hot. Before you even allowed yourself to consider the possibility of you being attracted to the man currently cornering you, your legs made the decision to leap out of the small space between Carlos and the wall.

The attempt to escape was a little too slow. Carlos’ hand slammed against the wall beside your head, blocking your way and caging you in.

“Go on. Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll immediately stop.”

Unexpected desire fogged your mind, leaving you staring at his lips and struggling to form any sentence.

“Tell me what you want, princesa.”

It took everything in you to say anything.

“Go fuck yourself, Sainz.”

It’s a shame, the amount of power you had to muster to say these four words, especially since they seemed pointless.

Carlos pushed his body up against yours, his every move oozing with confidence. He wasn’t clueless and your reaction to him wasn’t exactly subtle.

“I’d much rather fuck you so tell me if you want it before you lose the privilege, sweetheart.” He smirked.

The fact that he thought sex with him was a privilege made your blood boil, and your thighs clench but you weren’t gonna give that any attention.

“Fuck you.”

“Alright then.” He raised his hands in surrender, taking a step away from you.

Nothing in this world would’ve explained your next reaction, but for now it didn’t matter. You weren’t even trying to understand it.

You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and crashed your lips against his without thinking about what you were doing.

That was all it took for him to pin you up against, his knee nestling between your thighs, his hands firm against your body.

“You might be annoying but i always knew you were smart, preciosa.” His hand wrapped around your neck, forcing you to look up at him.

“Shut up and fuck me. I’m not here for you to evaluate my intelligence.” It was fucking amazing, how he was still able to get on your nerves even when his lips were against yours and his tongue was discovering your mouth.

“Alright then.”

Your Ferrari shirt was tossed onto the floor shortly after that, his also following yours immediately.

Carlos’ lips kissed down your jaw, down to your chest, slipping your bra’s strap off your shoulder and kissing its spot.

While his kisses busied your mind, his touch slipped down your stomach, down to the front of your pants. He was suddenly eager to undo your pants, quickly slipping his hand into them.

“You were trying to push me away when you’re this wet? I’m disappointed in you, sweetheart.” He smirked as he felt the dampness of your underwear.

“Carlos, i swear to god if-“ Desperate to shut you up, he pushed your panties to the side and thrusted a finger into you.

The words you were planning to throw at him quickly got lost and you caught yourself moaning as another finger stretched you out.

“I like these sounds much better,” he removed his fingers to strip you of your pants and underwear.

Once they were thrown onto the floor, he resumed his actions, his thumb rubbing your clit as well this time.

“Fuck.” You arched your back off the wall, eager for more friction of any kind. Carlos was quick to take notice of your reaction so he added a third finger, eliciting a moan from you.

“Say my name.” He slowed down his hand’s movements.

You gave him no reply.

“Say my fucking name.” His movement stilled completely.

“Is this some ego thing? ‘Cause I don’t mind finishing the job myself.” You challenged him, moving your hand down to try and prove your point.

Carlos didn’t allow you to do that. He pushed your hand away and glared at you.

“Trust me princesa, you’ll end up moaning my name anyway. I was just giving you an easy route.”

His whole attitude changed after that. His movements against your clit were almost aggressive and his fingers were fucking you so hard, it made your body shake.

“Oh shit.” You moaned as you clenched your pussy around his fingers, feeling your orgasm just seconds away. When you finally let go, releasing your cum onto Carlos’ fingers, you made it a point to avoid moaning his name no matter what.

That enraged him, to say the least, so he didn’t give you time to come down from your orgasm. He immediately kneeled down in front of you, pulling one of your legs over his shoulder and latching his mouth onto your clit while keeping up the thrusting of his fingers. It made you groan and whimper in unprecedented ways.

“Oh my fucking god.” The expletives kept spilling out of your mouth as Carlos slowly sucked on your clit and licked every part of your pussy, his nose making you shiver every time it brushed the right spots.

You looked down at him, the sight almost making you cum on spot. He was eating you out like a starved man, the sounds his tongue was making only being more proof of how much he was taking his time with this.

Your hand fisted his hair, tugging of his dark strands as his teeth grazed your sensitive clit, igniting a feeling of warmth all over your body. Concluding that you liked that, Carlos kept repeating that move, making the feeling building up in the pit of your stomach stronger.

Soon enough, you eyes squeezed shut and your body shuddered as another orgasm aggressively ripped through you. It left you breathless, fully relying on the wall for support as Carlos let go off you, standing up to watch you with a sense of pride.

The uneventful moments didn’t last long.

“Bend over the desk.” Carlos ordered as he took off the rest of his clothes, revealing his hard cock.

The sight made you comply so fast. You wouldn’t admit it out loud but you couldn’t wait to have him buried deep inside your wet pussy.

“You’re a good girl when you’re about to get fucked.” Carlos pointed out.

You looked over your shoulder to find him with his hand wrapped around his dick, guiding it towards your entrance.

“Shut the fuck up.” You turned back around, fully expecting to feel him push into you any second now. Instead, you felt his tip press against your clit, making you weak.

“I’m gonna fucking ruin you, princesa.” He circled his dick around your sensitive nub of nerves, making you close your eyes as he began rubbing your clit the same way. He moved his cock to trace the sides of your entrance, teasing you by pushing in the tip slightly into you before quickly pulling back out.

He teased your hole for long enough before redirecting his attention back to your clit. He moved himself faster against it, teasing himself and bringing you closer to the edge as he relentlessly rubbed it with his tip until you felt your walls clench onto nothing, your legs shaking as the third orgasm blinded you.

Your eyes were still closed and your mouth was still agape when Carlos thrusted into you, filling you up while your body while still shuddering from your release.

“Oh fuck, Carlos. I can’t…” you moaned.

“Now was that so hard? Was saying my name so hard?” He taunted, his hand pulling in your hair as he started pounding into you, feeling you squeeze your walls around him.

“Say it again.” He rubbed your clit.

This time, you were to far gone to argue, you mind already not thinking of anything besides the way Carlos’ cock was perfectly stretching you out. You just gave him what he wanted, moaning his name as his hips met yours repeatedly im mercilessly thrusts.

“Sounds so good, princesa.” Carlos moaned, giving your ass a slight slap before his hands griped your hips for leverage.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt his cock brush against your g-spot, making you fist your hands.

The sensitivity was starting to catch up to you, making you feel vulnerable under Carlos’ touch as he pounded into you from behind.

You knew you were seconds away from cumming and judging by Carlos’ grunts, he was just as close too. Therefore, you let go, whimpering and softly moaning as Carlos continued his movements until he spilled his load inside you and pulled out.

A minute later, you pulled yourself up to find you clothes but found that Carlos had already picked them up off the floor for you.

“Thanks.” You said as you grabbed them out of his hands. The word hang weirdly between the two of you.

“I don’t hate you, i hope you know.” He calmly said as he pulled his pants back on.

It shocked you for a second but quickly started to make sense. Nothing happened between the two of you that made you hate each other.

“I don’t hate you either but you’re a bit annoying.” You smiled at him and he returned it. That was probably the first time you had ever smiled at each other.

“So, would you allow me to annoy you on a date sometime?” He awkwardly asked, his hand scratching the back of his neck.

It weirded you out that you were considering it. It was even more absurd how quickly you agreed.

“Sure. As long as you act just as annoying.” You joked and he laughed.

“C’mon, we still need to film that tiktok.” You reminded him and he groaned.

“There we go again.” You said with a playful tone as you finished getting dressed and reached for the phone.

It’s safe you say that this one tiktok was the easiest but most interesting to film. How wouldn’t it have been when the two of you weren’t sending each other death glares for the first time ever?

#carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz one shot #carlos sains imagines #f1 smut #f1 imagine #carlos sainz x reader #f1 x reader

[wildlife4life]

Fuck-it Friday

It is just past midnight where I reside, so that means its officially Friday. Normally I don't post till the sun is shining, but I am traveling today and visiting with family, so I won't have access to computer time till much much later.

Tagged by the always lovely @panbuckley, who posted a very steamy snippet. So I am going to continue this trend myself, or try to at least. Here is some very vague smut from NFL Buck.

Eddie is on the precipice of tipping over into orgasmic bliss, but a tight grip at the base of his cock, snaps him back. He cries out, "Buck please." Behind him with his own cock deep in Eddie's ass and lounging back on the dark blue sofa, Buck chuckles. Eddie feels the vibration of his delight more than he can hear it. "You didn't answer me." The younger man states. The hand not withholding Eddie's pleasure, hits the rewind button on a small black remote. The projected film in front of them reverses, pulling the figures of the players of the Chicago Bears and the Minnesota Vikings back to their pre-snap formations. "Two high safeties, 5 man rush, what should I call?" Buck repeats his earlier question with a swivel of his hips, grinding up against's Eddie's prostate. A whimper is pulled from him and Eddie squeezes his eyes shut, relishing the stimulating euphoria mixed with the pain of being held at the edge. The warm plastic of the remote is dropped on his thigh and Eddie can't hold down a moan of appreciation as Buck grips his hair, yanking his head back. "I told you to keep your eyes open. Don't want to miss anything, now do we?" He growls in his ear, nipping at the cartilage. Fuck. Having his eyes on the footage of the Chicago Bears was the whole reason Eddie joined Buck in the first place. He liked to help his boyfriend with his studies, give advice, and his own opinion on what the defense is doing and how Evan should respond. The reward for doing so, usually came after pages of a notebook had been filled and several hours of film had been watched. But the first game of the Ram's season with their new shiny quarterback was just days away and Buck was a ball of nervous energy. Working out did little to take the edge off. Video games with Christopher (and losing horribly) just added to the problem. Not even a pep talk from his personal trainer Owen Strand could help. So Buck turned to film hoping that being over prepared would ease his mind just a little. Eddie ventured into the screening room wanting to give him some relief and Evan immediately showed him how he could. A sloppy blowjob lead to Eddie's first orgasm. A seat in Buck's lap, his chest pressed tight against Eddie's back, and stretched tight around Buck's cock, has Eddie on the edge of another. He just needed to focus. Give Buck a play to beat the scheme. He needed to open his eyes and see past his pleasure. Just for a moment and then Eddie can finally fall into the inferno, with Buck just behind him. The sharp trill of Eddie's phone breaks his focus and has his eyes opening for all the wrong reasons.

Never really written man on man smut before, so I hope I'm doing something sort of right? Idk. I just wanted to put the fuck in fuck-it friday lol. But this is a scene I've had in my notes for awhile for this fic. Hope you all enjoyed!

If you want to see more NFL Buck just search under the tag nfl on my page.

Tagging (no pressure): @prince-buck-diaz @thekristen999 @thewolvesof1998 @hippolotamus @monsterrae1 @bekkachaos @911onabc @911-on-abc @alyxmastershipper @brokenribsdiaz @cowboydiazes @cowboy-buddie @lizzybizzyzzz @glorious-spoon @oliverstaark @cowboy-buck @starlingbite @housewifebuck @devirnis @spotsandsocks @jesuisici33 @forthewolves @transbuck @wikiangela @rogerzsteven @bigfootsmom @try-set-me-on-fire @homerforsure @sibylsleaves @shortsighted-owl @spaceprincessem @heartbeatdiaz @barbiediaz @princessfbi

#fuck it friday #tag game #my wip #911 show #911 fox #911 abc #911 fic #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #nfl #quarterback buck #firefighter eddie #secret relationship #film study #smut #maybe not great smut #i tried #the fuck in fuck it friday truly

[idyllic-ghost]

learning to love; jun x fem!reader

request: Hii!! I'm new to your work but i really like everything that you do so i was wondering if i could request a fic? I was wondering if you could make a longer fic for jun of seventeen, i was thinking it could be about him and his friend being in love but the friend keeps denying any feelings that she has and actually making them a official relationship (even if they know it's mutual) because of junhui’s job as a idol (scared for him because of what a relationship would do to him and svt plus because of her own insecurities) so junhui has to work through the walls she keeps up plus help her understand his side of things?? Please make it be angst & fluff with a really sweet/happy ending where they do get together officially!! Also please use 44, 17, and 7 from the promptlist (i use she/her pronouns but it's fine to make it gender neutral if you want too btw)

prompts: 7. "being in love is not a weakness" 17. "you're my home" 44. "you need someone. let me be that person. let me be what you need"

synopsis: junhui helps you through the five stages of love; acceptance, happiness, trust, love, and safety.

a/n: this is around 30 pages long, it's possibly the longest thing i've written in a while... if you do end up reading this, i really hope you enjoy it! i had a lot of fun writing it :)

cw: insecurities, paparazzi, twitter, cats

genre: friends to lovers, fluff, angst-

word count: ~6k

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it's been a year since he figured it out himself, two years since his friends had caught on. still, nothing had happened. feelings, especially romantic ones, would always be a mystery to jun. how do we get them? why do they go away?... why won't they go away? for him, the latter question was especially important at this point in time. why won't his feelings go away, and why is it so hard for you to accept yours? it had been a year since he figured out his feelings for you, but it had been almost half a year since you figured out your feelings for him. for some reason you could tell him, but you didn't want to talk further about it. both of you knew of each others feelings, but nothing was done about it. jun felt like time was seeping through the gaps of his fingers. he was just waiting for somebody else to come along in your life and take the place he could've been in. there was nothing he wanted more than for his feelings to go away, but they only grew stronger around you.

you. your laugh, your smile, your soft touches, your sweet voice; you filled all of his senses until he couldn't think straight. he was drunk on you. so when you told him you were in love with him, his heart soared - only for it to crash when you said that the two of you wouldn't work out. since then, the two of you had been friends as normal - just so awfully close. sometimes you were right next to him, but it felt like he was on the other side of the ocean. then, in other moments he can't believe that you could ever be any closer. him, laying on your couch. you, laying on top of him. maybe you were watching a movie, maybe you were talking about something unimportant. the only thing that mattered was that he could feel your heartbeat match up with his, that his hand was gently placed on your head, that your scent was engulfing him, that your hands were placed on his shoulder, and that your legs were so perfectly tangled together. "junhui..", you would whisper. jun could only hum in response, so completely transcended by you. "could you ever imagine a life without me?" the question would've normally caught him off guard, but after an hour of just laying there with you his brain had shut down, and he could only speak from the heart. "maybe in a different dimension... but even if some sort of divine power was trying to drag you away from me, i would still try to hold onto you. i don't think i would like myself very much if i didn't have you around."

the truth is, jun knew you were scared - and he definitely knew why. he wasn't invisible to the world, there were constant cameras trying to capture his picture. with you in his world, with you as his lover, this constant attention would only get so much worse - for you especially. how would people react when he decided to start dating? it was surreal to think that people would care so much about his dating life, but it was the tragic truth of his career. of course, he didn't want to put you through that - but with what he was feeling, he thought it was worth even just a try.

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you didn't know what to do. there was no way you could deny your feelings, that was why you had confessed in the first place. then again, there was no way you could ever be in a relationship with him. of course, there was his fame - but what you didn't think he would understand was that there was also your own insecurities. jun had been there with you during past, painful, relationships - he had taken care of you during the disheartening treatment you received from your partners, as well as taking care of you after those partners had broken your heart. was it selfish of you to think that if this potential relationship ended in pain too, he wouldn't be there for you? was it even more selfish of you to lead him on like this? it was, but what were you supposed to do? you could stare at him for forever, watching him do the most mundane things were the most wonderful thing you had ever experienced. watching him do the dishes, was somehow better than going out with your friends to a club. the painful, yet obvious, truth was that you would do anything for him - and right now it felt as if you were on the edge of a tall building, and only he had the power to tell you to jump or back down. if you were to expose yourself to him, be vulnerable with him, you fear that he might just make you jump off.

one warm afternoon in late spring, jun suddenly turned to you as you were sitting on the floor of your kitchen. it was the only place with cold tiles, and with close accessibility to ice cream, so where else would you be? jun looked at you with a gaze that you couldn't quite place. "y/n," he said softly. "junhui,” you answered with a quiet giggle. "i love you,” he said. "i know,” you answered. "you love me." "yes." "then please let me be with you,” he looked down at the bowl in his hands, "i know you need someone. let me be that person. let me be what you need." you put your bowl down your bowl. never did you think that jun would plead for you, and if his words had held a different meaning you would've teased him for it. "you know it wouldn't work out,” you said. "i don't see it that way.” he looked back up at you with determination, "i see two people who love each other, who can't seem to step over the threshold to a relationship." "well, i don't know,” you sighed. "then, can i try to make you understand?" "how would you even do that?" "... five stages of love?" he chuckled. "... as in five stages of grief?" jun nodded, and suddenly you were very interested in what he had to say. "what's the first step?" "acceptance." "what does that even mean?", you laughed. "accept the fact that you're in love with me,” jun shrugged. "... i have.” you furrowed your eyebrows. "i've told you i love you." "yeah, and i've told you i love you,” he said, "and yet we're here, still nothing more than friends." "so the first step is to get into a relationship with you?" "the first step is to let me take you out on a date,” he explained.

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you looked yourself in the mirror one last time. you hadn't been on a date for some time now, mostly because you couldn't stop thinking about jun. this date made you more nervous than any other date you had ever been on. for hours you had gotten ready. first you took a shower, which led you to philosophizing about what this might lead to as the water ran across your skin - it took around twenty minutes. then there was your skincare and make up - should you wear make up at all if it was just jun? but it wasn't just jun, it was the guy you had been in love with for ages now. after that, there was your clothing. you put on dresses, pants, pretty shirts, but nothing seemed to fit your taste. you ended up in a skirt and a cute blouse, that were both comfortable and fitting for a date. was this enough? what if he didn't like it? so what if he didn't like it? he shouldn't be deciding what you wear! you loathed the fact that you actually cared this much about what he thought.

there was no more time for you to think, as there was a knock at the door. when you opened it you saw jun, holding something behind his back. he was wearing a disguise in the form of a cap, a hoodie, and sun glasses. "what are you doing?" a smile started appearing on your lips. "acceptance is here,” he said proudly and pulled out a red rose from behind his back. "jun..." you said and happily accepted the rose. "are you ready for a fantastic date?" he asked. "i guess i am."

jun walked slowly beside you, as if he wasn't completely stressed out. in his chest, his heart was beating faster than it ever had been before. he barely even had the power to tell you how pretty he thought you looked today. instead, the two of you only walked in silence. jun was taking you to a cute café, which you knew, but what you didn't know was that it was a cat café. as soon as you saw the sign outside of the tiny shop you gasped. "cats!?" you looked at jun with big eyes, "are you serious? are there cats in there?" jun hummed and you let out a small shout of happiness. when you walked into the cafe you were told that you can start by eating something in the café area, and then go play with the cats. you were so happy about the cats that you had completely forgotten about food. "what do you want?" jun asked. "a coffee would be nice... although it's very warm...", you sighed and looked at their menu, "an iced coffee, please." the woman behind the counter nodded and put it into her machine. "anything else?", she asked. "strawberry cake.", jun said, "and another iced coffee for me." you looked over at him as the cashier started preparing everything. "you remember i like strawberry cake?", you said with a small smile. "it's all you ever talk about when going to cafés, it's hard to miss it." jun smiled. "and these look amazing, so i don't think we should miss out on them." "they're huge,” you said as you looked at the pieces of cake by the counter. "that's why i only got us one."

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the booth in the corner of the small café is where you situated yourselves. jun sat next to you, your shoulders were almost touching. there was one strawberry on top of the slice of cake, and, with his spoon, jun carefully rolled it over to you without saying a thing. "why a cat café?" you asked as you took the strawberry in your mouth. "i thought the cats might seal the deal." jun smiled, and you chuckled at his response. "you have whipped cream on your cheek." "ugh... already?" you sighed and tried to find it with your fingers. "yep, it must've been on the strawberry... wait, not there." he let out a teasing laugh, "let me help." jun took his thumb and gently rubbed off the whipped cream from the corner of your mouth, bringing it to his lips and licking it off his thumb. you looked at him as you felt your ears grow red. to avoid his gaze, you quickly grabbed your coffee and started drinking. "so, did it work?" he asked. "what?" you looked back at him with big eyes. "the cats. did they seal the deal?" he said. "oh... the cats... well i haven't seen them yet, so i wouldn't know." you shrugged. "but i bet they'll steal your thunder." jun gently pushed your shoulder at your joke, before taking his spoon and took a piece of the cake. he looked happy, and at that you could do nothing but smile. if there was a purpose with this life, then maybe yours was to make jun happy. it gave you more fulfillment than anything else ever had. if that were the case, then shouldn't you just get together with him already? was there really a possibility for jun to hurt you? he was the type of person to listen to every detail you've said, and bring them up at later to make you smile when you thought it was impossible to be happy again. perhaps it's because of that, his genuine care of others around him, that would make it hurt more if he left. "y/n?" he brought you out of your daydreams. "are you doing alright?" "i'm just thinking..." you admitted with a weak smile. "oh no, don't do that,” jun said, "to reach the first step of love you have to just do it, don't overthink it." you chuckled and took another bite of the cake. in doing so, you bent your head slightly, making hair drape down in front of your eyes. jun brushed away the hair that had fallen in your face, and tucked it behind your ear. "maybe you're right.", you nodded, "i'll stop thinking for a while."

when you had finished the cake, you went to the cats - buying some snacks for them on the way there. there were so many cats, just walking around or relaxing in the sun. you immediately went for a tabby cat, trying to pet it - but it turned it's nose at you. you could hear jun laughing behind you. "you're doing it too fast,” he said and crouched down beside you. jun reached out his hand to the tabby cat, not to pet him but to hold it out near him. the cat seemed uninterested at first, but after waiting for some time the tabby turned it's head toward jun. "see, now i've caught his attention.", jun said as the cat sniffed his hand, "now he needs to get used to me." the cat started stroking himself against jun's hand, which led jun to start petting him. "and there you have him,” jun said with a proud smile as he scratched the cat behind his ear, "of course, you can always give the cat a treat and they'll trust you immediately - or at least for a while." you pulled the cat treats out of your bag. the plastic rustling got all of the cat's attention. soon you were approached by half of the cats in the café, all meowing at you to give them treats. "jun..." you said with a worried tone, "they're ganging up on me." jun already had his hands full, the tabby cat sitting in his lap now - fully asleep. "sorry, y/n, you're on your own." he chuckled and gently kept petting the cat. you sat down and started giving the treats to the cats, who were all very eager to get to know you all of the sudden. jun sat in front of you, adoring the way you tried your best to feed the cats equally. if this date was doing anything, it was making jun fall more in love with you.

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as you left the café, jun reached for your hand. just as you were about to pull it away, you gave in and actually took his hand in yours. jun smiled at you. "congrats, you've reached the first stage of love,” he said, "onto the next stage." "what would that be?" you asked. "happiness,” he said. "did you plan this out before?" you laughed. "you bet i did."

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the next time you met jun, it was in his dorm. he had told you to come over, but when you got there he was still in the shower. it ended up being chan who let you in, complaining about jun needing to plan better all the way to his room. you thanked chan, who looked slightly more pleased after, and then walked into jun's room to wait for him there - sitting down on his bed.

when jun walked into his room, he was only in a towel - surprising both you, and him. "oh my god!" jun exclaimed, "what are you doing here!?" "you asked me to come here!" you covered you eyes. "well, how did you get in?" he hurried over to his closet to put on some clothes. "chan let me in,” you explained, "you shouldn't have told me to come over if you weren't even properly dressed." "i thought i was fast in the shower,” he said as an excuse. "you're not." you scoffed. you could hear jun stop shuffling, he had finally put some clothes on. you felt two hands grabbing yours and slowly pulling them away from your face. when you opened your eyes, you were looking right into jun's. his brown eyes. his beautiful brown eyes. so dark in normal lighting, but completely golden in the sunlight that was shining in his face at the moment. jun's hair was hanging over his forehead, still wet from his shower. you got one of your hands out of jun's grip and pushed away the wet hair that was clinging to his face. he smiled at you, warm and endearing. his smile made you realize that you would go get him the sun if he asked you to, and for some reason you were sure that he would do the same for you. you smiled back at him, not being able to contain it. you wanted to kiss him. "jun, y/n is here- oh you found her, never mind." chan had barged into the room, and quickly left again with a big grin. jun stepped away from you, his hand still attached you your wrist, and was about to yell after chan. he stopped and instead looked back at you. you were still smiling, even wider now. "what are you so happy about?" he huffed. "i don't know." you shrugged. "you were just being so serious... it looked a bit cute." you weren't one to call jun cute so often, but whenever you did it always hit jun right in the gut. his ears turned red, and he let go of your wrist to turn away from you. "jun..." you chuckled and stood up beside him. he was taller than you, but you stood on your toes to try to look at his face. jun kept facing away from you, so you ended up putting your chin on his shoulder. you jokingly complained and whined in his ear to look at you, laughing while doing so. "why are you so shy?" you stifled another laugh. he gave you a side eye, and you suddenly sensed that you were in for it... but he gave it up quickly and looked away. you let go of him. "because i get nervous around you.", he admitted, "you make my heart beat quicker." he faced you, grabbed your hand again, and put it against his chest. his heart was beating fast, like he had said. "... but i feel so comfortable around you.", you looked him in the eye, "jun, you're my home. we've known each other for so long, you don't have to get so nervous." he removed your hand from his chest and pressed his lips into a thin line, trying to contain a smile. "it's not like i can do anything about it.", he said, "i think you'll always make my heartbeat quicken." you wrapped your arms around him to hug him tightly, suddenly very overwhelmed with feeling. "what was the second stage?" you suddenly asked. "happiness." "jun, you've already succeeded in that." you smiled. "you make me happy." jun didn't respond, only wrapping his arms back around you. you relaxed in his embrace. although you didn't feel like giving everything to jun, you felt like you could at least give him this. he was deserving of your happiness, and knowing that he was the one to cause it. "damn..." he muttered, "i had an entire thing planned for you today too..." you pulled away and looked at him, suddenly intrigued. "what thing?" "now i don't want to say, it's embarrassing." he looked away from your gaze. "but now i want to know, jun." you grabbed onto his arm and gently shook him. "noo..." he let out a small, embarrassed, laugh, "seriously, let's just watch a movie or something - it wasn't a big deal." "but no- junhui!" you whined as he started getting ready to put on a film. he never told you what he actually wanted to do that day.

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"what's the third stage?" you asked. you were laying on your bed, your phone was laying beside you with jun's dial up - it was on speaker so that you wouldn't have to bring the phone to your ear. "it's trust.", he said. "trust?", you scoffed, "i trust you. it's just gonna be happiness all over again." "alright, well... meet me up at my place in a few?" he asked. "as long as you won't be in the shower when i get there,” you said. "i won't be."

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jun was dressed in his disguise again, standing close to the outside of his dorm. you ran up to him and greeted him, and he quickly grabbed your hand and started walking. "what's up? are you okay?" you asked. "i think someone's been following me..." he whispered. "what? then what are we doing out, you should go back inside and call the company or something," you said. "no, no... i promised you we would go out," he said, "we just have to hurry a bit." he smiled at you, and even with the sunglasses, the hoodie, the cap, and everything, you still felt warm at the sight. you wanted to tell him to go back to his dorm, but the need to stay by his side was stronger.

jun took you to a theme park, and as soon as you could see the big ferris wheel you gasped. you turned to jun, who was laughing at your reaction, and then back to the theme park. "oh my god,” you exclaimed, "i haven't been to a theme park in ages! wait, how is this about trust?" "because i'm going to make you ride all of the scariest rides with me." he smiled. "pff- i can do that easily." you shrugged, "besides, it's not you that i would be putting my trust in." jun didn't answer, he only kept walking into the theme park. your arm was linked with his as he was leading you around. at first you were only looking, thinking about which ride you should go on first.

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after a day full of going on rides, screaming your heart out, and eating sugary food, you were tired to say the least. at the end of the day, you and jun were approaching the ferris wheel that you had spotted at the beginning of the day. his hand was snug in yours, and you hadn't let go of it for some time. it was the first time you had held his hand for this long. "do you want to go on the ferris wheel before we leave?" he asked, "the sun is going to be setting soon, maybe we can get a nice view." "that'd actually be nice." you nodded and followed him to the ferris wheel.

the air was getting chilly, and the sun was close to setting, as you got into the booth of the ferris wheel. it was an enclosed space, and you were seated in front of each other. your eyes were stuck on the beautiful pink sky, as jun was caught up in the view of you. "it's so pretty.", you said as the ferris wheel started moving. "it is," jun said, not taking his eyes off of you. you didn't see him, and you would never know of his admiration in that moment. it didn't make it any less real. jun put his hand on your knee, making you look at him. he wore that soft, warm smile that he had adorned the entire day - but now he also seemed nervous. "y/n?" he asked. "junhui,” you answered. "can i kiss you?" the four words made your face flush red, you felt as if your head was spinning. his eyes didn't look away from yours, and his hand was stable on your knee. you felt like you could crumble. it was just a kiss, but you hadn't even been able to admit to yourself that this had been a date. "... do you really want to do that?" you asked carefully. "otherwise i wouldn't be asking,” he said kindly. "what if someone sees?" you question. "then they'll see a couple kissing in a ferris wheel, it's not uncommon.", jun shrugged. "but we're not a couple..." you whispered, "and what if nothing happens after this? what if we're just stuck in this awkward phase forever?" "we won't be," he promised. "do you want to kiss me?" "i do." "then let go, y/n. you can trust me, okay?" there was hesitation within you, but you didn't want to give up this chance with him. you felt yourself leaning forward, as you watched jun do the same. jun's hand moved from your knee to your face, gently cupping your cheek. your knees were touching, gently bumping against each other as you tried to close the distance. behind you the sun was setting, spreading a holy glow across you. like two heavenly bodies, expressing the purest form of love for one another - without words, without even looking at one another, but by simply feeling and pouring your emotions into one another. when your lips touched his, you felt the butterflies, trapped in your ribcage, released in your stomach. his lips were soft, and he was gentle. it was the moment that you had dreamed of for a while. when your lips parted, your eyes stayed close for a second longer - relishing in the moment that you had just been in... until you heard jun let out a low chuckle. you opened your eyes, finding his adoring ones. "you're cute,” he whispers, leaning his foreheads against yours. "... i can't believe that just happened,” you let out a small, shy, laugh. he pecked your lips against, giving you a cheeky smile. you put your reddened face in your hands, trying to conceal your bright smile and your sudden urge to giggle and kick your legs in the air. "so, third stage completed?" he asked. "sure..." you nodded and looked back at him, "you've gained my trust, jun."

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for the next few days you didn't leave jun's side, and he didn't leave yours. you hadn't talked of a relationship, but you gladly accepted any of his romantic advances. right now you were in the small kitchen of your apartment, as jun was teaching you how to make a hot pot. he was standing behind you, arms wrapped around your waist and leaning his chin on your shoulder. "no, no, no, wait." he laughed. "if you do it like that you're gonna ruin it!" "says who!?" you laughed, throwing your head back on his chest. "it'll taste weird, okay?" he kissed your cheek quickly. you looked over at him with a pout and he gave you an innocent smile. he kissed your pout, making you smile as well. "i really like that i can kiss you now," he muttered. "i really like it too." you chuckled. "what was the fourth stage?" you turned your attention back to the hot pot, and jun let go of your waist, much to your dismay. he stood beside you, leaning on the counter. "love.", he said. "i've already told you that i love you." you looked at him with furrowed brows. "not as in the the word,” he said, "but the feeling." "how will you know if i feel something?" you questioned. "well, we're already past the stage of trust - so i was hoping you would tell me." he shrugged. you nodded and pursed your lips, thinking about it for a while. he was technically right, you should be able to trust him with those kinds of confessions. then again, there was still a part of you that felt embarrassed to say things of that sort. "... i'll tell you," you said, "but you have to promise not to tease me when i do." "i promise." he smiled lovingly.

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a few days later you got a text from jun asking you to meet him by a nearby park, which you used to walk through together a few years ago - back when he was a trainee and you had a retail job. you happily replied that you would meet him there, and got ready as quickly as you could. when you got to the park you were expecting jun to be dressed in his usual disguise, but he wasn't. jun was dressed nicely in a white button-up, light-washed jeans, and the jacket you gave him a couple years ago for his birthday. "you're still wearing that old jacket?", you approached him. "every time i get a chance." he smiled and leaned in to kiss you. you dodged him and went in for a hug instead. "what if someone sees us?" you whispered in his ear, "and you're not even wearing a disguise, that'll make it even worse." he pulled away from you and gave you the look of a love-struck puppy. "but i want to kiss you," he muttered, "and no one will see us here, nobody's ever in this area anyway." there weren't many people around, so he got that right. however, you couldn't help but to try to be a bit careful. "let's just... keep a distance, just in case,” you said. "alright fine, if that makes you comfortable i'll do it.", he agreed.

the two of you were walking for a while, for the most part just making small talk - but sometimes there were quiet moments where you just enjoyed each other's company. sometimes his fingers would gently graze against yours, to which you would respond by giving him a stern look.

before you knew it, jun had walked you to the bus stop where you used to get on the bus to get to work. he would sometimes walk there with you in the mornings, and sometime he would even wait there for you when you got back. at the sight of the old rusty bus stop, a smile started appearing on your lips. "the bus stop,” you whispered. "it's not in use anymore, but they kept the little booth anyway,” he said. the grass was growing wild around and inside the bus stop. nature had taken over what was once used by many people as shelter from wind or rain while waiting to take the bus. you walked inside the small booth. the small bench was still there, although the years had taken it's toll on it. "i can't believe it's been so long,” you muttered. jun stood beside you, admiring the graffiti on the inside of the bus stop. some wrote their names on it, others drew things. nobody cared to clean it up since it was never used anyway. "are you looking for something?" you asked. "just a thing i wrote..." he pointed high up on one of the walls, "there it is." y/n♡ you smiled, and started looking for one of your own scribbles. when you found it you quickly pointed at it for him to see. you were crouched down on the ground, pointing at the same wall - but further down. junhui (づ ￣ ³￣)づ "that's a lot of effort.", jun commented. "well, i've always been the artist friend, haven't i?" you grinned. he shuffled closer to you. now you were just two crouched figures staring at some old writing. that was enough for you. that was all you wanted. "i used to think about you a lot back then,” you admitted, "which is embarrassing to say, considering the haircut you had." "hey! it was very stylish for the time!" he exclaimed as you snickered. a quiet pitter patter started echoing around you. it was raining. at first it was just a light shower, but dark clouds started floating in, which was followed by heavier rain. "shit," jun whispered. you sighed and turned to him. "we're going to have to run,” you said. "... we'll get drenched either way." he shrugged, "we could just wait." "it's not going away any time soon, look at those clouds." you pointed at the dark clouds. jun sighed, and started shrugging off his jacket. before you could say another word, he wrapped the jacked around you and made sure it covered your head. "what about you?", you asked. "i'll be fine... besides, i'm the one who dragged you out here in the first place,” he said. "it was nice of you..." you smiled and looked back to the scribbles. "i liked it." "good." his hands were still on the hems of the jacket, which he used to pull you closer to kiss you. this time you didn't stop him. you barely had time to react before he let go and grabbed your hand, only to start sprinting home.

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you were in your apartment, jun laying under you on the couch. the two of you had showered, and had gotten cozy in front of a nice movie. as you looked up at him, you felt it. it was so simple, for such a huge feeling. he was all you had ever wanted, and there was no reason for you to hide that emotion. "i love you,” you said, earnestly. he looked over at you with raised eyebrows, as if he was asking you what it meant. "i'm feeling it.” you grinned. "it's not just a word." he sat up, to look at you better. he wore the brightest smile yet. "thank you for telling me,” he said, "... i love you too." you leaned towards him and kissed him again. you had never felt more ready for something in your entire life... now there was just the fifth stage left, whatever that was.

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the next morning you woke up to hear jun cursing outside your bedroom door. he had slept over, and you expected him to be fast asleep next to you when you woke up. it didn't matter, you could always get up. you ignored your buzzing phone, and got out of bed to open the bedroom door. when you did, you met jun's paranoid eyes. he was on a call with someone. "yeah, yeah... i'm still here." he sighed. "no, listen seungcheol- i swear, i didn't think anyone else would be there. yes-... no, it's not on her, okay? i was being careless." your heart dropped. why was he on the phone with seungcheol? why was he so worried? what was he even talking about? "yes, i'll tell her..." he sighed. "y/n, don't go on social media-" he couldn't finish his sentence before you got to your phone and opened twitter. all over the app were pictures of jun and you. you clicked on one tweet, which had a linked an article. you didn't care to read the title of it, and only scrolled to the pictures. at first it was you in the cat café, then you outside the café holding hands. the next group of pictures were you at the theme park, you in line for the ferris wheel, you in the park... and you at the bus stop, kissing. you felt like fainting, and you quickly threw your phone on the bed. "junhui, i fucking told you!" you shouted as you turned back to him. he looked hurt, but you were too upset to see that. you were shouting at him, tears welling up in your eyes. jun couldn't even get a word in until you were sobbing, unable to say another word. "y/n..." he whispered out. "please leave, jun," you managed to let out. "we could figure this out-" "i told you to fucking leave!" you threw a pillow at him out of frustration. without a second word, jun took his things and left. you were left with an empty heart. all of your love, gone in a few minutes.

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you didn't leave your apartment for a few days, and called in sick for work. there was no way to avoid looking at the articles, speculating on who you were. nor could you ignore the many angry, as well as the few happy, fans. you liked the happy ones, although they made you feel bad about how you reacted to jun. you hadn't spoken to him since that morning. your friends had tried calling you, his friends had tried calling you - but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. this was the last thing you wanted, and it happened before your relationship had even started. the worst part was that you didn't know how to fix it.

one afternoon, seungkwan called you - and for some reason you decided to answer it. "hello?" you said groggily. you were watching a movie on the couch, eating ice cream right out of the tub - feeling miserable. "oh thank god, you're not dead." seungkwan breathed out a breath he seemed to have been holding in while dialing your number. "i might as well be..." you muttered. "y/n... could you please just call jun." he sighed, "he's blaming himself and... he's just taking it very hard." "... i'm sorry seungkwan, but i can't bring myself to do that right now..." you sighed and put down your ice cream, "what i said to him was uncalled for... i just cannot face him, or anyone, right now." "but you guys were made for each other,” seungkwan pleaded, "you need him now, and he needs you. i don't think you'll get through this without each other." "gee, thanks... that's reassuring." you sighed. "fine, well... nobody's gone to your apartment, right?" he asked. "not yet." "great... i'm going to call the company, see if they can do something to get you more security. just to be safe, you know?" he said, "meanwhile... maybe you can call-" there was a knock at the door, and your heart dropped to your stomach for the second time this week. you asked seungkwan to be quiet as you approached your front door. looking through the peep hole, you saw a man standing outside with a camera. he said something, but you couldn't hear anything anymore. you walked over to the window, where tons of people were standing with more cameras. how could they have found you? "seungkwan..." your voice was shaky, "they found me."

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a few minutes after your call with seungkwan ended, a security guard came to your door. you were escorted away from your home, and taken to a hotel somewhere far from where you lived. it was a nice hotel, but you would kill to just be in your dirty, old, apartment again. at least the shouting, and clicking sounds from the cameras were gone. for most of your time there, you were laying in the big, fluffy, white bed. from time to time, you would go to the balcony - sometimes you had your breakfast there if the weather was nice. you didn't feel like doing much else.

for some reason, the only calls you accepted were from seungkwan. if you were your usual self, you might have philosophized about why that was - and you would've probably concluded that it was because he was there during a traumatic even for you. however, you weren't your usual self, so you opted to not think about it. "hello?" you answered your phone for the second time that day. "y/n?" it wasn't seungkwan, it was jun. you went quiet and looked at the caller ID again. it said seungkwan. maybe you were hearing wrong. "is that you, seungkwan?" you asked. "it's jun." he answered. you went quiet yet again, and wanted to hang up the phone but you couldn't seem to move. "i'm sorry, y/n." jun whispered, "for everything." "you..." you took a deep breath, "you have nothing to apologies for, it wasn't your fault... and i was being an ass to you for no reason." the two of you let out a brief chuckle. then there was silence. it felt nice to talk to jun again, like seungkwan just forcefully ripped off a bandaid off a wound that had healed long ago. "y/n?" "junhui." "i still love you." it wasn't what you thought you needed to hear, but as soon as he said it you felt a wave of relief hit you.... but all that could come out of your mouth was: "... that's nice." you heard jun laughing at the other end of the line. at least he didn't take that comment too hard. "y/n, you're like the strongest person i know - what are you so afraid of all of the sudden?", he asked, "you told me you loved me before we even got together, now you can't say it at all?" "well, a lot of things have changed." you sighed, "i'm living in a hotel and i can barely sleep. i don't know if i can love someone when i feel so vulnerable." "being in love is not a weakness." jun said, "love is what keeps us together, makes us stronger. when i ask you to love me, i'm not asking you to sell your soul to me... there's no ulterior motive to it. i just love you, and i want you to love me too." "... i do love you" you said quietly, "but it's difficult to express when it feels like if i do, we'll end up heartbroken." "i can't promise i won't break your heart. i don't know what will happen in the future." he sighed, "but i will promise that i would never hurt you knowingly, and even if things were to end badly - i would still be there with you. okay?" "okay." "now, can i tell you what i think of the future?" he asked. "go ahead.", you smiled. "i think that you and i will get together. maybe we'll even get married some day... and i think that we can be happy, living the way we really want to. because if we don't try i would never forgive myself, and i don't think you would either." he explained. you paused, taking in what he said. there was a time when you would've shied away from the thought of getting hurt... now you were actually considering just letting go. it was jun, after all. he would never go out of his way to hurt you. you could trust him, you did trust him. more importantly, you loved him and he loved you. he made you feel like home, and why would you give up on that and spend the rest of your life afraid and longing for what could've been? "i'll try.", you said.

there was a knock at your door. at first, you froze - but you managed to approach the door and peek through. as soon as you saw who it was you opened the door. on the other side stood jun, with seungkwan's phone still pressed to his ear. he smiled at you, and you engulfed him in a tight hug. "you're the worst." you muttered, "i thought it was more paparazzi." "well, i wanted to keep the element of surprise." he chuckled and tightly hugged you back. "was this the fifth stage? sweet talking until i come back?" you teased him. "the fifth stage was safety.", he said. "... i feel safe right here.", you nuzzled your face closer to his chest, "i'm glad you came to me... i think i would've gone insane after a while of only talking to seungkwan." "i'm just happy you decided to actually open the door, otherwise my plan wouldn't have been very satisfactory." he chuckled, "... i have to give back seungkwan's phone... do you want to go back to the dorms with me?" "what if someone sees us?" "then they'll see us, as they've seen us before. i don't care anymore" he gently put his hand on the top of your head, "and i wouldn't mind showing you off for a bit." you looked up at him with a big smile, and he took your hand in his. for once you didn't feel scared when walking away with him, not even nervous.

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[breakfastteatime]

Alrighty friends, here we go, Breakfast Tea's Battle Scars Review. Putting it under the cut because spoilers, and also my levels of spiciness are at maximum. Lots of swears ahead! I don't tend to write book reviews (hi, unpublished author over here) but, uh, this is for science!

For the record, I have NO IDEA how these tie-ins are commissioned. So, for example, I don’t know if the author came up with the plot and it was okayed, or if she was told “do something with A, B, C and D and make it a book” so I appreciate that she probably didn’t have as much freedom as a fic writer.

Also, yes, I did get to the point where I was skimming chunks of the book, so if I'm factually wrong, feel free to correct me, but know that it won't make me like the book any better because my issues are layered and numerous👍

Also also, this is pretty stream-of-consciousy so go with me, okay?

Finally, there’s *one* spoiler that I’m guessing will tie into the game re: Greez.

Okay, let’s GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Plot Summary (warning, I haven't done a good job summarising it hahahahahahahaaa)

The plot is - the crew go to break into a Haxion Brood base because reasons. While they're there they find a bunch of stormtroopers, one of whom is actually Fret, who wants to defect because she's sick of the Empire. Merrin is instantly attracted to her which, okay, sure, fine, to the point of becoming completely giddy around her. Also, Merrin's been struggling with her powers because of all her trauma from Dathomir (a very good a legit reason but, uh, didn't we do that with Cal in the game ANYWAY AHEM) but DON'T WORRY, SHE JUST NEEDS TO HAVE SEX WITH THE RIGHT PURPLE LADY BECAUSE SHE’S ANGRY AT THE EMPIRE TOO AND SEX WILL SOLVE ALL OF MERRIN’S WOES AND LITERALLY ALLOWS HER TO ACCESS HER MAGICK AGAIN WOO! Oops, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Fret then reveals she's not actually a stormtrooper but used that as a disguise to escape because don't you know it, she's got intel that will lead them to something called the Shroud, which will essentially make anyone who has it invisible. Think cloaking technology from Star Trek. That's the best comparison. So, if the rebels have this, they'll be able to undertake sneak attacks, but if the Empire has it, BAD NEWS. ANYWAY, the crew go to the person Fret’s working with who claims he’s anti-Empire too and he’ll use the Shroud for good and everyone agrees they’ll go get the schematics and bring them to him. Off they go and find said Shroud schematics after Merrin totally gets her powers back after receiving some sexual healing (no, really), only to discover the Shroud’s schematics aren’t written down but are instead secure in Fret's oops-not-dead lizard girlfriend Irei's head... and she's vaguely Force-sensitive because OF COURSE SHE FUCKING IS. Oh and the Fifth Brother is here too because he naturally wants the Shroud and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The Mantis crew are all totally at odds with each other because it turns out despite living and working together for years they’re all after totally different things but have never said anything until now, which would be interesting if Fret wasn't there being all self-insert OC. And anyway, don't worry, the crew gets over it. Oh, and Greez loses an arm protecting Cal and Cere from the Fifth Brother about halfway through.

Uuuuh what else….??? Oh! Right, Fret’s dealer dude. They realise he’s bad, they defeat him. Boom. Can’t be arsed to go into more detail than that (also I was totally falling asleep reading this part, my bad???).

Fret and her ex(?) get back together (kinda??), leave the Mantis after the whole Shroud thing and the Fifth Brother are dealt with, Merrin opts to not go with them and Fret’s like “Oh, yeah, I see what you have with Cal” and Merrin’s like “??? Cal’s like that with everyone.” Interpret that at your discretion.

OH OH OH and Cere totally goes off to find some Jedi circlet thing that is LITERALLY A VIDEOGAME ACCESSORY USED TO BOOST STATS which is (unintentionally??) hilarious but fuck that it’s so completely lost in the rest of it, as is a lot of Cere’s desire to create a legacy for the Jedi.

The Good!

Hooray for LGBTQ+ representation!

Fight scenes are good when the action is happening.

Cere's characterisation is okay???? Like out of all of them, she feels the most in character... kind of???????? I get her motivation, and it feels fairly close to what I think she's gonna be up to in the next game. But her decision to… wait… sorry, this was meant to be positive. ARGH! Alright, let’s move on…

I really like the concept that, since the end of the first game, they’ve all been on the run from the Empire and the Haxion Brood. Excellent concept! I’m guessing Survivor will give us more.

I also really like the concept that the crew all want different things.

SPOILER!!! Greez loses an arm. This scene was pretty good and believable – Greez wants to save Cal and Cere and he makes a terrible sacrifice to do so.

The Everything Else

👎 Wish that LGBTQ+ rep was in a better written book. I do read romance sometimes (or, more accurately, books in which romance occurs) and I am not opposed to instant attraction. But I like it to be a bit less fire-hose-of-HAWTNESS to the face. It basically feels that Merrin has a week-long relationship with someone in which sex solves all her problems??? There's a lot of stuff in this book about why Merrin can't go to her actual friends with this (she's a Nightsister, dammit, and no one can understand how she feels but Fret is angry like Merrin is, therefore instacrush, lust, sex and AAAAARGH), but wouldn’t it be much more narratively satisfying if the people who support her through her troubles are the ones she has long-term relationships with??? Near the end Cal does become this person to her but it feels a bit awkward. Almost like he’s stepping up because Fret left. 👎 Merrin’s struggles here, while absolutely understandable, feel like a rehash of Cal’s entire journey in the game… except Cal sorts his shit out one way, and Merrin shags her way to better mental health. I mean, get yours, Merrin, but it feels like an odd choice, because… 👎 Fret, Merrin's love interest, feels like such an author self-insert it actually made me uncomfortable. Lady, I don't wanna read your fantasies!!!

👎 The plot doesn’t have room to breathe because there’s too much going on. And while I’m here, the Shroud feels completely universe breaking because while the prototype they wind up making is a fake and becomes a bomb, the fact that Irei designed it to hide herself (she’s Force sensitive, remember??!?!?!) means it could potentially work and literally change the Star Wars universe... But Irei’s a total non-entity in the rest of canon sooooooooo this universe breaking macguffin is pointless, making the plot largely pointless??? Or did I miss something when I got to the skimming part? WHATEVER. The Shroud thing… Aaaah, I’ll get back to that later… 👎 There’s too much authorial voice masquerading as the characters. In other words, I didn’t hear the characters, I just heard the author coming through loud and clear. (and okay, yeah, every time I have a character suddenly be British makes me guilty of this too BUT I like to think it’s not as bad as this. HEY! LET ME HAVE MY DELUSIONS ALRIGHT?!). For example, Cal goes off on this whole *thing* about the Fifth Brother's hat, which doesn't feel like him at all. At no point in the game did he go off about Trilla’s helmet (which he compares the Fifth Brother’s hat to) or trade really petty insults. He has his whole bravado thing going on, but not “dude, your hat looks STOOPID.” Seriously, it’s about a page of him being uncharacteristically cocky and sassy (more on Cal’s characterisation later). This authorial voice tendency makes everyone feel the same, especially when you’ll read one thing in Cal’s POV, move onto Greez’s, and Greez will think the exact same thing. There’s very little differentiation in character voice. The banter is BAD.   👎I'm not saying JFO isn't funny because it has some lovely moments (“Wait, do you have feet?”), but they are light touches. This book's 'humour' is like having an anvil dropped on your head. This is the book where subtly came to die until the VERY end where there’s some nice moments with Cal and Merrin… except it’s ruined by Cal CONSTANTLY thinking about how he needs to protect his family… Which brings me onto… 👎 This book is so repetitive. If Cal referred to the others as 'Family' one more time, or someone else said they wanted to make a dent in the Empire’s hull, I'm not sure my e-reader would've survived. I actually counted btw – pg 77 of my ebook edition has the word family on it 7 times. SEVEN TIMES. The word crops up 39 times overall and once I noticed it, I couldn’t stop. The phrase ‘making a dent’ appears 9 times and again, once I noticed it, I couldn’t stop. Oh editor, where are you?

👎 It’s also inconsistent in its storytelling. For instance, there’s a moment where Merrin and Cere go off on a mission together and Merrin reflects on how well they always work together… and then later on she goes off with Fret and is like “It’s so nice to not be alone for a change!!!” And while this is probably in reference to how her and Cal tend to approach missions from different angles (literally – above and below), it’s one of those instances where something here needed editing – e.g. actually Merrin and Cere have never done a mission together, therefore that’s nice, and so when she goes off with Fret she can be like “wow, twice in one day! I could get used to this!” It’s shit like that made the whole thing so frustrating. 👎The structure is bad. Midway through an otherwise good action scene, the POV character will stop to think for so long they would have been killed. It really disrupts the flow of the battle. The pacing just screeches to a halt. It’s the same whenever the characters reminisce on the events of the game, but I’ll come back to that. Stick a pin in it! 👎 The book also does a several days later flashback that wrecks the pacing. We’re at this moment of tension – they’re about to break into a compound but oh no – the access codes from Merrin’s girlfriend don’t work because GASP she lied about abandoning the Empire! Cue tension! Cue drama! Cue… romance in a ‘several days earlier’ flashback. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH. Honestly, poor, poor Cal the first time he gets to use his own room again. Echoes EVERYWHERE. He’s gonna go as red as his hair every time he looks at Merrin and everyone’s gonna get the wrong idea. Sorry, what was my point? OH RIGHT! Pacing! Pacing BAD.

👎 BEEDEE WUN. Get. In. the. Fucking. Bin. 👎 Speaking of our beloved BD, he is here, but he's referred to as 'Cal's droid' or Cal is referred to as his master, which... no. Absofuckinglutely NO. At one point, Merrin (who presumably has known BD for 2-3 years at this point), thinks of BD as Cal’s ‘strange but cute little droid’. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! They are friends. Best friends. Cere, when thinking of the crew, her family, states there are "four and a half people" on the crew. BD IS NOT HALF A PERSON, AND ALSO OH GOD THE HISTORICAL CONNOTATIONS OF THIS ARE SO BAD, HOW THE HELL DID AN EDITOR NOT PICK UP ON THIS?!?!?!?

👎Cal's characterisation is NOT good. He is so inconsistent outside of I MUST PROTECT MY FAMILY. MY FAMILY, THE CREW OF THE MANTIS, WHO ARE MY FAMILY. I WILL DIE TO PROTECT THEM, MY FAMILY, THE ONLY PEOPLE LEFT TO ME THAT I LOVE, THE MANTIS CREW. Which, for the record, works as a motivator for him, but not when it’s done with all the nuance of a sledgehammer to the knees. When Merrin's busy having sex in the engine room (you know, where Cal sleeps, the guy with psychometry), he is initially naive to the point of stupidity. “Oh golly gosh, Merrin’s sealed the door, I guess that means her powers are coming back!” He was on Bracca for 5 years. I think he knows what goes on behind closed doors. When he realises what's happened, he is both totally blasé (the Jedi don’t have relationships so he’s never thought about it), and also jealous in a way that can be interpreted in one of two ways, depending on your shipping leanings. He's either jealous because Merrin is HIS woman (oh, no, sorry, I mean GIRL. Fucking HATE it when adult women are called girl), or he's jealous because Fret is inserting herself into HIS FAMILY, THE CREW OF THE MANTIS, THE FAMILY HE WILL DIE FOR when she’s a lying liar who lies. He’s *so* petty he refers to Fret as a ‘gal’ which, again, UUUUUUUUUUUGH. Oh, and he's seen an echo revealing Fret to be a liar, but he's not going to disclose it to the others because he doesn’t want to hurt Merrin when she’s finally happy and able to use her magick again and yet Fret might be about to kill his family, the crew of the Mantis, the people Cal will literally die for. Because they’re his family. PICK A MOOD, CAL. Actually, wait, I’m not done with what’s been done to Cal…

His characterisation makes me want to weep. He gets annoyed with Cere for wanting to find a Jedi relic despite... the entire... first game... being... about... this... exact... thing????? I think the author was going for “well, Cere wants to create a legacy for the Jedi so their history is not lost to time!” whereas Cal wants to (say it with me!) ‘put a dent in the Empire’s hull’ which, okay, there’s an interesting contrast, but Cal is someone who is inherently linked with the past so why is *this* the conflict between these two? It’s not quite working for me, probably because it’s just not central enough to the plot. If *this* was what we dug into, it would probably work really well. Unfortunately, we’re not here for that.

Cal also says shit like “What’s the problem here, team?” like he’s in middle management.

👎 The book is set somewhere between the two games and is purposefully vague, which *would* work if these characters *felt* like they'd spent years together instead of the author telling us they have. Relationship-wise, it feels like we're maybe a couple of months out from the game because the book wastes so much of its word count going back over events from the game… which happened years ago at this point! My guess is it was written with people who hadn't played the game in mind, which again just makes the pacing suffer. Plus, we’ve got five people who’ve lived together for years (they’re a family, a crew, they love each other like family, they will DIE FOR EACH OTHER!!!!!!), and yet all of them see their mission differently. Y’all have been at this for YEARS but it’s only now that you realise you’re not united?! This would work if we were closer in time to the original game… but years down the line?! And again, this is a GREAT concept! SO much to work with there… except we’ve got sexy purple lady and lizard lady in the way of what could’ve been an amazing character exploration of CHARACTERS WE KNOW AND LOVE. STICK ANOTHER PIN IN IT!

👎 The author struggles to integrate game mechanics into a n ovel. BD-1 will just randomly hand Cal stims because hey, I guess that’s what he does in the game????????? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 👎 The author hasn’t heard of show, don’t tell. Stop bloody telling me that Cal loves his family and show me – give me a scene where they sit down for a meal together. Give me a scene where Cal sits with Greez after he’s injured. ANYTHING that shows me rather than smashes me over the head with one of the 39 uses of the word family.

👎 Cere really randomly refers to Cal as her Padawan when he’s busy getting his arse handed to him by the Fifth Brother. Cal’s honest, he knows he didn’t beat Trilla because he was stronger than her, but this is YEARS later. Has he not gotten stronger in that time? SIGH. Also, Cal might be mentored by her but he’s not strictly speaking her Padawan? Okay, now I’m just nitpicking… 👎 WAIT, ONE MORE! Cal refers to Master Tapal as Master Jaro. That just irritated me.

How I’d Rewrite It

So, let’s take the pin out and examine the lack of character exploration (except for Merrin who we do get to have a good look at in a weird way). The main issue I have with this book is Fret and Irei get in the way of what could have been a really good character-building piece for the five characters we know and love from the game.

So, wanna know how I’d write it? Simplify and FOCUS:

The Mantis crew are infiltrating a Haxion Brood base because they’ve gotten their hands on a precious Jedi relic that the Empire are also after. While there, Cal and the others find the relic but are attacked by the Brood and the Empire. A defector (Fret) finds them and says the Empire is using the Fifth Brother to hunt for the Shroud’s schematics and its inventor (Irei), who’s in hiding. Fret gives them the name and location of the broker who will pay the crew for retrieving the Shroud and Irei – a man linked to the Rebellion known as Luthen Rael. He’ll also give them Irei’s location. While trying to escape, Fret gets shot and killed by the Brood or the Empire or WHATEVER and the crew feel somewhat obligated to carry on with her mission because the Shroud is a double-edged sword. Cere’s hopes of starting her great Jedi legacy have to be put on hold, Merrin’s still worried about her powers because she’s lost and doesn’t know if she’s getting the vengeance she seeks, Greez thinks finally Cal’s going to stop going for bigger and bigger gambles, Cal’s excited to be doing something really important, and BD-1 is happy to see a new world and meet new people. Also, there’s no breaking into anywhere without him, and they need to move fast.

Great, we’ve got our ticking clock – get the Shroud before the Fifth Brother!

However, because the crew’s been run ragged due to being hunted by the Brood for so long, they’re starting to make mistakes and Cal’s taking bigger and bigger risks with little pay out, so the crew goes into the mission at odds with each other. After BD hacks his way into the systems and locates Irei, Merrin gets her to safety. Cal and Greez get hurt when they go up against the Fifth Brother because Cere, convinced she needs to try and save him from the dark side because he too was once a Jedi like Trilla, tries to save him and it backfires horribly. They all manage to escape and get to the Mantis, fall out because they all want different things. They take the time needed to figure that out and reunite, take Irei to Luthen (they get out just in time when the Fifth Brother comes back again), Cal and Merrin fight him off together because Merrin’s got her powers back because she has a purpose again (working for the Rebellion) and off they go to the next adventure.

Your subplots are essentially the same:

Cal wants to stick it to the Empire and help as many people as he can, while keeping his family safe, however he needs to understand that doing this randomly is essentially pointless (which… okay, I have issues with this too but if I go off on that you’re never getting the next chapter of the Big Fic. I’m working with what I got, friends!!!)

BD-1 is just happy to go wherever Cal goes so long as he gets to scan new stuff and slice new systems!

Cere wants to build and protect the Jedi’s legacy by gathering everything she can of their history. She *is* tiring of the seemingly hopeless battle against the Empire and *wants* to put down roots, and she *needs* to be honest with Cal about this (who, once he got over his “you can’t leave me, Cere!” initial reaction would be absolutely fine with this??? HEY, WORKING WITH WHAT I’VE GOT!)

Merrin wants to regain her powers, and she needs to come to terms with the terrible trauma she experienced, but she can do this not through what is ultimately a fling, but by being honest with Cal, Cere, Greez and BD and working through it with her family. You tie it into the plot by having them working for the Rebellion, which means Merrin finally feels a purpose because it’s through the rebels she sees that she’s not the only one who suffered great loss and, like them, she can do something about it. And hey, maybe she hooks up with Irei in a much subtler and less SEXUAL HEAAAAAAAAAAAALING way because she wants to.

Greez wants to stick with his family, but he needs to be honest with Cal and say if they’re going to keep doing this whole kicking it to the Brood and the Empire, they’ve got to be smarter about it.

Basically, by cutting out all the OC bullshit, you focus on the crew we all know and love from Fallen Order without some rando OC being there to FLY THE MANTIS. Get the FUCK out of there! If I didn’t think Fret was a self-insert before, her getting to fly the Mantis sealed it for me.

There is a GOOD CONCEPT buried in the depths of this book. It’s just, y’know, not to my taste.

Alright, I think that does it for now. PHEW! That feels better ^_^

#battle scars spoilers #the spice must flow

[annabtg]

Fanfic Self-Appreciation

Stole this from @artemisia-black and @merlinsbudgiesmugglers, because I haven't been writing lately and I think I need to treat myself a little.

Ten favourite lines (or paragraphs) from ten of my lowest kudos'd fics, with no links - because this is not about raising a fic's stats, but about celebrating the work I've written over the years despite its lack of popularity and - as I realized when I found out it was hard to find lines I unapologetically love in some of these fics - learning to be kind to myself! Most of these snippets are from old fics, and looking back to one's own writing can bring forth terrible amounts of cringe - but I encourage everyone, myself included, to take pride in their older works and find the beauty in the simpler, less refined, more innocent writing. :)

Feel free to copy, borrow and tailor this concept to your needs and tastes! The idea is to learn to appreciate our writing despite our hang-ups, whatever those may be!

Cut for length:

1. And then the green jets of light come again. Simultaneously, this time.

2. They need both. The traitor will come back for his creature, they know – and Bellatrix will be ready for him. He's no match for her. Too arrogant, too surrendered to his emotions to be a dangerous opponent. Too dedicated to the filthy creature's earthy charms. What idiot would value carnal pleasures over the pure light of magic?

3. There's also green like jealousy. It's when he sees Lily Evans hand in hand with that idiot, Caradoc Dearborn, and the next time he looks into the mirror, he sees that his skin has a light, puke-coloured tint.

4. Tonks had refrained from sitting beside him on the bench. She had sat on the back of it, steadying herself by keeping firm grip on it with both hands, absently swinging her legs as she watched for suspicious movements in the nearby streets. Her hair, now a little longer than usual and coloured a dull brown that matched his – it was uncanny how different she looked in it – swayed slightly with every movement she made. He had a lovely view of her profile from where he was sitting, when he turned to look at her; the evening sun passed through the thick leafage of the oak trees and doused her in shades of orange and pink.

5. Of course it’s not any help. What help can a small stick made of paper and tobacco possibly be? What comfort can it offer, when its life ends merely ten minutes after it begins? It has no soul, no understanding. It can’t stop the tears that start streaming down my face. But I put it in my mouth and breathe its bitterness in anyway. As long as I’m drowning my sobs under the thick layers of its tar, as long as I don’t bury my face in my hands, as long as my mind is so intently concentrated on the burning tip of the cigarette, as long as exhaling doesn’t come out like whispering his name, it’s not really crying.

6. He kept watching them, sulking, making plans on how to avenge the offence. Sirius, sitting next to him, was sulking too, as a means of supporting his friend. Remus was watching James warily; he knew him well enough to know he wouldn't let Barbara get away with what she'd told him. As for Peter, he was searching for another argument to convince James he shouldn't get upset over it. The previous six hadn't worked.

7. They say that opposites attract. Perhaps that’s why James Potter, loud by principle and overly energetic by definition, feels so drawn to Lily Evans. There’s something about her quiet demeanour, something so foreign to him and, for that reason exactly, so mystifying. Wrapping his mind around the idea of someone being so serene of their own accord is impossible. To him, Lily Evans is impossible.

8. He pretended to return to his book, but couldn't help watching her with the corner of his eye as she walked in, dressed in a bright green Muggle top, blue jeans and colourful sneakers. She was... loud, in all aspects. The first thought that had crossed Remus's mind upon seeing her, was that this was a girl that could never go unnoticed. Whether that was because of her styling choices, her wit, her perkiness or her destructive clumsiness, though, he couldn't tell for sure.

9. “But I could let you go to hell for hating on my son,” he says, raising a threatening finger.

10. “We all deserve love, Remus. It’s not an award we earn for not being werewolves.”

#my snippets #fanfic self-appreciation

[thatgirlonstage]

Re:zéro asks!

What do you think would be the most interesting/hilarious crossover Subaru could stumble into. Either pre-canon or canon (or maybe even IF story), because he gets into situations, regardless of the timeline.

What ships do you like?

Do you ship rezero characters with characters of other series? If you do which ones?

And lastly, do you think Subaru deserves à vacation?

I don’t really do/think about crossovers so much unless I get particularly inspired for some reason—I’ve had some AU thoughts about Re:Zero but I’ve never really bothered considering crossovers for it. Subaru is a difficult character to transpose out of his setting & original plot without doing a LOT of work vis a vis how you manage his character arc. Though actually precisely bc of that maybe the most interesting crossover to me would be if canon Subaru got a glimpse of himself if he had been dropped in a more traditional isekai (I don’t know nearly enough about classic isekai to pick one though) and the kind of person he would’ve become if he was just handed a bunch of awesome powers and people who think he’s cool without ever being called on his shit (the absolute worst version of himself). Relatedly, to your third question, nah I p much never ship characters outside their franchise. Even if they don't directly interact I need them to at least exist in the same/similar enough context or interact with some of the same people in order to get the shipping tickle in my brain. Again unless something particularly inspires a crossover idea, but even then, I will at most do like, bullet point ideas that are mostly meant to be funny to me. I almost never read crossover fic and I’ve never written it.

On ships in general… okay look. I am a) multishipper galore and always one good piece of fanart from being interested in whatever ship idea you want to pitch to me, but b) not primarily into this show for ships and c) at most poking the Re:Zero fandom with a ten foot pole for pretty fanart and usually staying well away from it except to make posts for my own amusement and like six of my friends. I can’t go in the Ao3 tag for it. Every time I do I start wanting to stab things. My current strategy to make re:zero fandom for myself by slowly luring all my friends into watching re:zero is having a shockingly good success rate but yeah the fandom at large is…… holy lack of reading comprehension Batman.

For whatever it’s worth, just as, things I will yell the most about while watching, I am deeply invested in Rem and Subaru in whatever configuration of relationship you want to put them in, I like Rem/Ram because I’m me, and idk that I really know enough about Satella to have Thoughts but I am So Normal about Satella/Subaru Jesus fuck the love love love love love you bit. (NB: I’m anime only with this series so far, please no spoilers.) Emilia/Subaru do make me soft, Subaru and Otto should queerplatonically own a cottage and 37 pets together, and Crusch/Felis are a t4t couple and I shan’t be told otherwise. Actually the ship I’ve probably Thought the most about though is Julius/Subaru. Why did they put in a loop where they speedran an enemies to lovers tragic boyfriends arc. What was that about.

But all of that is secondary to my desire to watch Subaru get the shit beat out of him 😂 which, to your last question—does he DESERVE a vacation? I mean, sure, boy’s been through the biggest boatload of trauma one can imagine and he’s not a bad person even if he’s an asshole with a lot of baggage to unlearn. Do I want him to GET one? Absolutely not, that boy was made in a lab for me to squeeze him like a stress ball

#answers #re:zero

[argisthebulwark]

Ao3 20 Questions

thank you @kagedbird for the tag!! <3<3 i will tag some friends @daedrabait @miraakswhore @somethingscarlet13 @queerbashir if u wanna participate <3

How many works do you currently have on ao3? Currently 25. holy shit, i thought it was more than that lol

What's your total ao3 word count? 98,336. Used to be like 200k before i cleaned out some old works i didn't care for anymore.

What fandoms do you write for? Skyrim and Star Trek TOS & AOS

What are your top five fics by kudos? Sorry Lass, Make Me Feel Mortal, Don't Shut Me Out, Fascinating, and Destroy Rebuild

Do you respond to comments? Sometimes! Honestly it depends on whether or not i'm online and see them. if i don't respond right away it feels rude to respond weeks after the fact, but for repeat commenters or usernames i recognize i try to!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Idk i used to like to emotionally beat up Jim a lot, so probably one of the short stories where i explore all his traumas

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Sorry, Lass. I originally wrote it in 2015 and i'm fairly certain it ends with a mushy marriage scene.

Do you get hate on fics? Surprisingly, no. I think i got a few rude comments back when i first started, but honestly everyone's been too kind to me.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Hell yeah brother that's what i do!! I love angsty, emotionally charged smut. my personal favorite to write is angry, hatefuck type of stuff. or when they're using it to avoid talking about feelings.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not that i've ever posted lmao. I don't usually post non canon compliant fics for whatever fandom i'm working in.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Kinda. a few years ago someone let me know that my work had been reposted to a fic site i don't use and one quick message got them to take it down. Also, i once posted a fic as a one off, forgot that i'd done that, and used the same scene much later in a larger story - and some nice commenter on the original let me know that someone had stolen my idea lmao

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, never had anyone request that and don't want to do so incorrectly.

Have you ever cowritten a fic? Kind of? an old friend and i used to write separate chapters of our self insert marvel fics and mush them together into one story lol. never posted it anywhere, it was just shared emails and google docs.

What's your all time favorite ship? God, that's hard. probably McKirk. as i've gotten older and unlearned all the internal shame about self inserts it's gotten easier to do a self insert story instead of an established pair.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Every few weeks i pluck away at my regency au Miraak fic. i don't think i'll ever actually finish it because it's just so big in my head it's hard to get on paper, but i hope i do someday.

What are your writing strengths? I'm very comfortable writing sex scenes. I think that often when the author is uncomfortable about writing explicit sex the reader can really feel it in the story and i put in a lot of work to get over those mental hurdles. i've been told i'm good at characterization, which is awesome! i love getting in a character's head!

What are your writing weaknesses? Very often i find myself bogged down with the need to describe every little scene. it's a major reason i haven't posted a longfic in a while - i want to write these big stories but find myself getting lost in the little details. i also have a terrible habit of editing myself while i'm writing, which just gets me stuck in an unproductive loop.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Since i'm only fluent in English, this isn't something i am confident in. i've written in a few fictional languages for fics before but would probably reach out or suggest another author if a reader wanted something that heavily involved this.

First fandom you wrote for? Twilight babey!!! self insert oc to smooch Edward Cullen when i was a little middle schooler!!! i didn't know what fanfiction was but i knew i had a big ol crush on him.

Favorite fic you've written? not to be cringe on main, but most of my favorites are things that never got published. they're the little things still hanging out in my google docs that i go back to over and over. i rewrote all of star trek into darkness word for word just to make bones and jim kiss, i made a self insert just to smooch skurge after hyperfixating on thor ragnarok, and the weird time a few months ago where i wrote like 40k words of a cowboy romance. i read them often and wish that i'd written more on many of them but i do not read my published works.

thanks to anyone who read my rambling lmao. love you all sososo much, thank you for reading my silly little stories and caring about them. <3<3<3

#tag games #beloved mutuals

[akaashism]

Hello... Do you mind if I ask your top favorite fanfics that you've written? Why are they're special to you? Do you have specific inspiration when you wrote them? Thanks if you want to answer.....

So when I got this ask, I told myself that I would only pick 3 fics no matter what. If I went beyond that, we would be here all day, but picking 3 out of 60 made the task very hard as well 😭 They're all my babies tbh.

But even then, these are a bit more special.

Lucky Again: Written for my first fanfiction event (Kagehina Big Bang 2022) that I was so excited for, and believe me, I put my entire heart and soul into this fic. No other writing experience will ever compare to this one and I will always be extremely proud of this fic ❤️ I've always loved exes to lovers as a trope and I was itching to write it for kagehina, so that's how this fic was born :')

religion's in your lips (even if it's a false god): Another fic I am very proud of, particularly of my writing in it. It was stupidly difficult to write this because of the ambiguous/toxic relationship theme, but it was a passion project for me, I simply needed to put it out into the world. I go back to reread it all the time and I love it a lot. My main inspiration for it was that Oikawa is always the indifferent, detached one in oikage fics and I wanted to reverse their roles and make Kageyama like that, while Oikawa yearned for something more from him. I hope I did a good job portraying the vision :))

gold rush: Merthur is the ship I've written the most number of fics for so choosing only one out of them made my hands shake violently. There are so many merthur fics that meant the world to me when I wrote them, but now, years later, when I look back, this is the fic that I find myself revisiting the most. I can't tell you the reason why. The inspiration for this was being totally gone for the idea of Merlin's magic being in love with Arthur ❤️

getting it right: Also a shout-out to this fic which is not only my longest work on ao3, but the fic that completely sucked me into kagehina, never to escape. Writing this was some of the most fun time of my life and I love rereading it too 🥰

Thank you for such a wonderful ask!! ❤️❤️

#ask response #kagehina #oikage #haikyuu!! #merthur #bbc merlin #fanfiction #ao3

[bylertruther]

It's that time again! Tell me about some of your favorite blogs, why they are your favorite, and tag them to fill the dashboard with positivity and love!

a selection of some of my faves in no particular order, of course 💌

@heroesbyler — my wife, my dearest, and my mike. one of my first friends in this fandom and someone that i trust so much i'd give her my social security number if she asked. stav is super intelligent (in so many ways), kind, funny, thoughtful, brave, and observant. her analyses punch me in the tit and kill me dead. she speaks clearly and with conviction. she stays true to her beliefs and doesn't say or do things just to appease the masses, which is, for whatever reason, a rarity in this fandom. a lovely person inside and out, really and truly—her kindness and empathy blows me away, and makes my heart feel all fuzzy. my mom's a big fan based on what i've told her dfjdshb. a great blog to follow if you want to take a deeper look at the characters on our screens, not just will and mike, and how all of the themes, messages, and journeys in this show reinforce each other. also if you like to laugh. :')

@miwism — mal is the most creative person i've had the honor of meeting in this fandom. super kind, super funny, and super inventive. one of the very few people that have managed to make me laugh out loud—and not just once, but repeatedly. so many posts that i'll randomly remember months later and bust out into giggles over. best fics, best art, best posts, best ideas, and best additions to your posts, too. seriously, mal, i've secretly wondered if you've ever done improv before because your ability to take an idea and expand on it is just that great. i love them, i want to hug them, and if they asked me to drop everything on a thursday to go to publix with them, i would. idec if it'd take me hours to get there, i Would and it'd be worth it. 💚

@wiseatom — just thinking about her fics makes me tear up on the spot. i've cried after reading her work multiple times, even on rereads, because a) they were so good that i felt devastated that it was over, and b) i would never experience that magical First Time Reading feeling again. thea's just overall talented out the fucking wazoo—like, it's actually insane. she's a talented writer, a talented artist, a true creative, so eloquent, so charming, and such a delight. i could never meet her irl and keep my composure because i would just be on my fan behavior without a way to turn it off. she'd try to talk to me and i'd just be staring at her dreamily like this: 😍🥹😊🥰💕.

@sayyourprayers — if nobody got me, i know they got me. 🫂 even when i think i'm being sneaky, they still know exactly what i'm talking about, which i am choosing to believe is a part of our superior warriors bond as well as them being very smart, and not just me being as easy to read as a toddler book. they're very funny and very straightforward. no bullshit whatsoever. i always read their tags and replies, and find them to be really insightful and witty. they're another individual that has their own beliefs and interpretations and doesn't change them based on what's currently popular or not. i like that, because i personally hate when shit starts sounding like an echo chamber. overall, i just really love their blog! i always, always tune in to see what they have to say and i find myself smiling whenever i see them in my notes.

@googoogagaeyes — doozy's another real one. she describes herself in her intro post as a lover and a hater and i couldn't agree more (in the best way possible, of course). i think she has a very text-focused and holistic way of tackling the show: she talks about the good, the bad, and the neutral, which i find to be refreshing and desperately needed. i always read everything she writes, whether it's in the tags or in the post itself, and either learn something, laugh, or, as is usually the case, do both. speaking of which, her analyses are always to the point and written in such a way that the reader feels respected. she doesn't drone on or fluff it up, which i appreciate. super eloquent, intelligent, and funny. very much a necessary follow if you enjoy this show and excellent commentary tbh.

@alastyearonearth — alfreddddd ✋🥺 (<- me putting my hand on the screen like the wives of soldiers at war do in dramatic movies)....... oh, alfred. if there's anyone i'm normal about, it's him 👍 (lies) (biggest lie i've ever told in my life actually) (my pants are currently on fire right now) (🚒🧯👨‍🚒 <- they're here to put me out). i feel like my feelings for him and his blog can be summed up by the fact that when i realized we both went on vacation at around the same time, i was ecstatic because that meant i wouldn't miss his posts. bdfhjbsdkj. he's one of the biggest brains and most generally knowledgeable people here, and it rocks my world every time he says anything. he has an appreciation for canon and the real people whose stories are represented within it that this fandom sorely, and ironically, lacks. also, while i'm on my fan behavior right now, allow me to admit that i would go through his blog sometimes for months before i finally put on my big kid pants and followed him. i'm very much not beating the parasocial allegations and tbh i think it's understandable bc Hello !!!! look at him!!!! (gesticulates wildly in his and his posts' direction). 10/10 would ruin my sleep schedule for him, submit myself to the torture of a 24hr flight for him, go on a museum marathon together, and slather myself in superglue right before hugging him so that we're stuck together forever afterward. necessary follow for anyone that likes to not get pissed off when they log on and enjoys canon, esp will. alfred please can we hang out please alfred whenever you're free please if you'd like to hang out can we please hang out when you are free ple—

@motherthroat — you know that andrew garfield "(you didn't know me at thirteen) i really wish i had" quote? it applies here, because i so wish i'd met him last summer. liking canon will, mike, and byler used to be so lonely and frustrating, but now it isn't anymore and that's largely because of him. if you haven't caught on by now, i like following people that are very frank, and mori's no different. he's not afraid to be bold either. i love his art, his AUs, and his takes. he's funny, treats you the way you treat him, and has a great eye for aesthetics. well. a great eye in general, i think. not to get #deep (or repetitive), but i think he sees more than he lets on, and it really comes out in his art, his headcanons, his interpretations, and the way that he speaks to people. he remembers things and really ponders them. there's a kind of carefulness there that i admire as someone with as much grace as a bull in a china shop. just a cool cat, really.

@cosmobrain00 — MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX! (screamed the same way that will screamed for mike on halloween night). they're literally so talented that it's not even funny anymore. like, their writing is next level and the fact that we can read it for free (wtf!!!!) feels like a crime. their art is so pleasing to look at and i love their style so much. their thoughts on this show and these characters are superb, too. so passionate, so kind, and so loving—and it shows in everything they do. it's always a good time whenever they decide to share their two cents and spit some divine wisdom on us plebs, so i definitely recommend everyone check them and their content out!

@drangues — arush is literally [starts snarling and hissing and snapping and howling at the moon and other cuteness aggression-related things]. sorry, i meant to say he's so bhjfbkdsjhfbdks grrrrrrrr bark bark bark awooooooooo. just unbelievable. unreal. the blueprint. he's my cousin and my friend and my son and my stinkie squishie and also my greatest enemy and bully (he's only consented to two of these, but they're still true). seriously... arush is SO funny. his headcanons are wonderful and #real, his artwork is insanely good and creative and colorful, he's so sweet and silly, and thoughtful and merciful, too. just !!!!!! squishing his face in all ways except physical right now. if you're not following arush drangues then you deserve to get sent straight to the scorpion pit, i feel.

@givehimthemedicine — effortlessly hilarious, kind, bright, and oh so talented in a variety of ways, both creatively and intellectually. and they have the nerve to make it look easy!! like wtf!!! they're also the most likely to drop the most insane observations ever and act like they didn't just change the trajectory of your life forever. pure insanity, i say. they're my favorite blog outside of the byIer bubble and their el's first haunted house post is easily in my top three and i still giggle over it.

@mikeandwillel — when sandy speaks, i listen and take notes. simple as that. a true mike understander and knower. she's posted wonderful analyses on many topics, all of which are super concise, text-based, and show a thorough understanding of storytelling. i love hearing her thoughts on this show and her interpretation of things. i'm especially excited to see what she thinks once we start getting s5 crumbs! oh, and she also posts great edits! :D

@aemiron-main — if loving em is wrong, then i don't wanna be right. if it becomes illegal tomorrow, then call me el because my ass is going to jail asap. he's one of the kindest, funniest, most genuine people on this website. he's always open to discuss things, look at them from a different angle, and share his knowledge. i can't even say that he treats people the way they treat him, because he treats them a lot better. if anything, he's extremely merciful and forgiving lol. he has a wealth of knowledge on a multitude of subjects, an extremely keen eye, and seemingly endless creativity / an open mind. literally a modern day sherlock, but much cooler. also very resilient and tough. and an outstanding artist, too! (what can't he do, sheeeesh!). he's written analyses on what feels like everything about the show at this point, so i'd definitely recommend going through those if you haven't already.

#asks #long post #five years later 🫶 #which is to say two entire months later. i am so prompt and punctual and good at replying to things in a timely fashion ! #no read more bc i'm giving u guys a thumb work out n u should be thanking me for tht . btw.

[technetiumai]

Postcards to Penelope

I’m starting a new project! And I’m hoping to find some helpers/collaborators!

I’m psyching myself out a little with posting this, so I’m just going to put what I wrote in the description of the interest form (here’s the form, btw: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSecj8EbP26XDPjpqyqhsgjlMjA4GaMZjc-dTPiSCdEcl5Q3Ow/viewform?usp=sf_link). So if you read this, you don’t need to worry about reading that. 

I’m looking for people to participate in the execution of a fic told through postcards sent to willing members of the fandom, with history slowly being released online in the form of Penny and Shepard's notes to each other in road atlases, cryptozoological texts, VW bus manuals, and the manuscript pages from books they've written/are writing together.

It is current day 2023, and Shepard and Penelope have been travelling around the US doing magickal research for several years. Penny heads back to the UK for a short period of time, leaving Shepard to fend for himself. He takes this opportunity to do more in depth research into the quiet zones.

What I need:

Primarily---Postcard Recipients:

People (US only for this part of it) who are willing to have postcards sent to them, and post them somewhere where other members of the fandom can see them once they've received them.

The fic works under the conceit that Penelope has spelled scraps of paper with her name on them for Shepard to paste to his postcards/letters to her, so that they will arrive in the mail wherever she happens to be.

The actual people receiving the postcards will be supplied with these scraps so that they can use them to cover their real addresses.

The reason it is restricted to the US is because that's 45 cents/postcard vs. $1.45. I'm pretty bummed about that, but it is what it is.

Yes, Shepard is using US postage and it is still reaching Penny in the UK, it's part of the spell, roll with it!

Secondarily---Lore Contributors:

If there is anyone unable or unwilling to participate in the snail mail portion of this, I am going to need to go

deep

into lore, particularly of the American folk legend, urban legend, cryptid, and American-maybes-and magickal-places-(which I have taken to calling 'maples' in my head)-that-we don't-know-about varieties, and am hoping that people may be willing to collaborate with that portion of it.

This role can take up as much or as little of your time as you want. It does not have to take up any more of your time than you might spend talking about fan theories on discord (or indeed any time at all, if you change your mind about participating), it will just take place in Google Drive documents or rather than discord or tumblr, to avoid spoilers for anyone not participating.

I will have documents laying out what I am using as accepted canon within this universe and documents, that will be able to be edited by anyone with a link, that will contain particular questions that I specifically am trying to answer within my story and any ideas that anyone involved wants to contribute.

If it seems kind of silly that I'm trying to take extra steps to crowd-source this part of the fic (which it kind of does to me, which is why I bring it up) I am basically trying to write the entire history, metaphysics, physics, etc. of the entirety of the magickal US (and extending into the rest of North America), which I don't think I can do alone, nor do I think I should.

Anyone contributing will be given credit, and if this project, or portions of it, are posted on AO3 they will receive joint writing credit/the fic as a gift/credit in the notes, as they see fit.

Anyone who has any ability to give sensitivity input as to the inclusion of Native American legendary creatures and locations would be particularly appreciated.

You can not be a lore contributor if you are receiving postcards.

Tertiarily---Agent of Chaos:

If anyone wants

even deeper

involvement in the project, I'm looking for one person who might want to be a full collaborator. I'm very interested in the idea of a person playing a third party magickal force, where I am Shepard and Penny (and the postcard receivers are also Penny, to a certain extent), and this collaborator is acting as a force to prevent/confuse/f*ck with Shepard and Penny's communications.

This person and I would workshop what exactly the role of this person would be.

I imagine my writing a bundle of pre-written, pre-addressed, pre-stamped post cards to this person, and they do.... something? Like I said, we'll workshop it XD. This idea is clear as mud to me, but I love it enough I just wanted to put it out there.

Unfortunately this will possibly also need to be someone in the US? (But we can talk about it.)

Where the lore contributors will only have special access to world-building elements, and postcard recipients will only be engaging with the story as it happens, if there is an agent of chaos, they would likely either be instrumental in the creation of the entire plot, or would at least be aware of it (or at least as aware as I am XD).

Here’s the interest form again: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSecj8EbP26XDPjpqyqhsgjlMjA4GaMZjc-dTPiSCdEcl5Q3Ow/viewform?usp=sf_link

People who expressed interest (in the form of ‘eyes’ and ‘zoomeyes’ reactions on discord 😂): @martsonmars @raenestee @skeedelvee ... I guess that’s everyone who’s tumblr I know.

#Carry On #Postcards to Penelope