#i think ive also seen him done as having some connections to the Lonely as well

[marveling-chrisevans]

Quarantine || Chris Evans x Reader

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader / Chris Evans x You

Warnings:  Smut and a little cute fluffy - also could be triggering for current situations.. also kinda long 

Words Count: 2045

Summary: Chris quarantine alone so is  his neighbor (y/n) too. So they talk all day across the balcony because of the distancing, and the sexual tension becomes to much and Chris jumps the railing and they screw right then

Tag-List: @patzammit​​​​ @torntaltos​​​​ @smoothdogsgirl​​​​    (tag list is also open so if you want to be tagged let me know, you can reply to this or send an ask)

A/N: Sometimes smut is hard to write. So there is that before you read this. I try my best with it, not the actual best writer of smut but ill work on it -- sorry it took a few days to post I had to one finish it and its almost finals so ive been a bit distracted 

Living so far from your family during this time was hard when you couldn’t even walk the streets. You knew the man next door to you though passing but you had never actually sat down and talked to him. One week into being alone you saw him sitting outside reading a book, so you open your sliding glass door and walked over to the edge and lean over to read the title “so is it any good?” You wondered with a slight smile on your face looking at him. He closed his book and looked over at you “yeah its pretty good, fancy seeing you out here” he teased back “feeling lonely?” He wondered as he leaned forward in the chair he was sitting “i guess this whole being stuck inside and not being able to do anything is really putting a damper on my social life I'm left talking to you” You teased back “I'm y/n” you introduced yourself incase you never have “Chris, you know we have lived next door to each other for like a year now and never done that..” He smiled back at you. “you should be more friendly” 

“Says the guy who always looks like he is running late or the world is going to end” your laugh slightly “seriously every time I see you in the lobby or the hall you are like sprinting out the door, do you need a watch or something?” You wondered with a cocky smirk on your face “If you must know I just like to be perfectly on time.” He snarked back “and its not usually me its the driver they send every morning, he gets here so late and I have to run to him so we can make it on time” he defended himself “oh driver, what do you do for a living, you live in this nice apartment int he middle of the city and have a driver” She wondered as she took a seat herself on her patio furniture 

“nothing really special I act in a couple of things, right now I'm staring in a show on broadway called Lobby hero” he said back to her “otherwise I don’t spend much time in the city” “oh so your can actor, no wonder your always late. Have you been in anything I would have seen, note I don’t watch many movies only the ones I'm dragged to” You asked him crossing your legs facing him “uh I'm not sure then I did a few romcoms back in the day, currently I'm playing captain America” he said thinking “have you seen the old school fantastic four?” He asked looking back at you taking a drink of his water “you mean the one with uh Jessica Alba? I mean of course” You replied back “oh my god Jonny storm.. aka human douche” you smirked “thats what my friends called you in that movie” 

He couldn’t help but laugh as he clutched his chest with his hand “oh my god thats a good one, he was kinda an asshole in that movie” He smiled. That is how your days went. You two talked, and talked and talked till it got so personal Spending time with each other has been the staple of your day,

Most days you got our coffee and then headed out to the balcony with a book and waited for Chris to get up and get ready. Some days it was about an hour as you had always been an early riser. You most mornings did a home work out, weather it was yoga or like a dance video 

Walking out this morning you were just in your yoga pants and a tank-top, thank god the weather had been improving from winter and was actually warmer. 

This morning you were reading the book you met Chris reading, he had finished it and lended it to you. As you enjoyed your cup of coffee as he walked out and looked over at you “so you're enjoying it then?” He wondered as he sat down with his puppy outside You carefully close the book to not lose your page “yes I am sucked in. Its really eye opening and like life changing” you smiled across the balcony at him “good morning dodger, your cutest than your owner did you know that?” You said leaning forward and petting him since he was on the railing 

“oh is that what you really think?” Chris wondered walking up next to dodger looking at you locking eye contact, you couldn’t help but just freeze where you were, locking the stare of his piercing blue eyes.  “no?” You questioned yourself “i mean you are decent looking” you said biting the inside of your lip as you pull the stare you to hard, which had quite honestly created the most sexual tension the two of you have had yet “so what are you plans today?” You wondered “you know, talking to you, and maybe making some food” he said with a shrug “but here is the thing not go anywhere.” He smirked over at you. He found you attractive. He just looked at you as he leaned against the railing, “what about yourself” “well I was thinking about kidnapping that adorable dog, and reading this book. And I guess talking to you” you teased him slightly as you had nothing else to do ‘and order food because I'm out, lets be honest” you shrugged “i need to venture out one day but for now ill just do take out” Chris shook his head “yeah I wouldn’t they make a thing called this grocery delivery thing.” He said simply. He said taking off his jacket which relived his white t-shirt, which just outlined his muscles completely, you couldn’t help but stare at them. “right yeah right yep I should look into that” You said still looking at him. Chris couldn’t help but watch you look at him. He to be quite honest he found it even more fantasying to you. He took his moment. He opened the door for dodger to go back in as he jumped over the rail, the gap between your two balcony was about a foot, it wasn’t that much that he was going to hurt himself being on a higher floor. He had the urge to actually be connected to her, he couldn’t stand it any longer. You were so confused watching him jump over the railing “what are you doing? Are you crazy you could hurt yourself!” You said as you took a step back so he had room to land as he jumped over “oh my god you just about gave me a heart attack why would you do that!” 

Chris didn’t respond he just put his hand on your hip and pulled you closer to him and crashed his lips. You responded by kissing him back and putting your arms around his neck pulling away “what are you?” You tried to ask him before he cut you off with another kiss. You ran your hands down his shirt till it was in hem and started to tug at it, as they long enough to pull his shirt off and then he pulled your shirt off. He picked you up and set you on your patio table. You didn’t question any of it. You took a second with your hands on his abs as you pulled away from a breath “god damn what are you made out of stone” you wondered looking at him. He smiled and looked at her “no just a lot of working out, you wanna do this?” He wondered just to confirm cause concert “I've wanted this the last few weeks, but I'm not daring enough to jump over the rail, though you could have used the door” you teased him again with a smirk “thats it” he said picking you up and took off your pants as he pulled you to the front of the table as you worked on undoing his belt. You stared to push them down to his ankles. 

He picked you up again well kissing you very passionately and intently. Bringing you into your apartment, your neighbors didn’t need a show but he didn’t care at that point, He laid you down on the couch kicking off his own pants and grinding himself against you. You couldn’t help but letting a moan escape your lips, into his mouth, you could feel the edges of his lips smile knowing that you enjoyed that. He bite your lip as he pulled off your panties and you his boxers, you ran your hand down his body to meet his member, using your hand getting to run the length, guiding him to the entrance. After making him put on a condom. He could feel the wetness running off your clit as he slide into you. You gasps as he entered you, you knew how big it was, but feeling it inside of you was a whole different story. Being who he was he pulled away from your kiss “are you okay is that okay?” He wondered. You without words nodded as he started to pump his hips into yours. You lifted your legs wrapping them around his waist. Rounding your hips into his. 

He cupped your breast giving it a tight squeeze which made another moan escape you're lips “Chris, harder” you said breathless and he obeyed doing exactly what you said. 

As you closed your eyes feeling every kind of euphoric sensation you reached up and ran your hands though his He could feel when you were getting close he ran his hand down your lower body as he found your clit and started to play with it. This sent you over the edge, you could feel the pit in the lower part of your stomach tighten, and your walls around his penis. He could tell you were getting close, he shifted and started to thrust into you harder feeling you cum around him. He finished at the same time you did, the two of you road out the high of the climax before he pulled out. He lowered his head breathless as they hung over your breasts, and you shifted so he could lay next to you on the couch. You laughed slightly looking at him “did that really just happen?” You asked out loud as he joined you on the couch. “it did yes, id say it was a long time coming” He smiled and kissed you again “from the first day we met outside” You couldn’t help but smile and bite your lip “I have a question, what does the mean?” You wondered as your finger ran over the tattoo he had on his collarbone, letting it linger on his body “it is Buddhism for When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” He said back to you with a small smile “interesting” you said and kissed him again and got up “I'm hungry now” you said as you grabbed his shirt from outside and slide it over your head and walked into the kitchen. 

He got up and slide on his boxers and followed you. “right I haven’t gotten food” you said as you look in the fridge that is basically empty at this point “come on” he said as he handed you your panties and you slide them on. He took you over to his apartment and made you some food. “also if you keep wearing that shirt we might end up in round two sooner than you think” he said back to you “okay then ill keep wearing it” you said after walking into his apartment and walked over to his puppy and sat on the floor next to him “oh your such a good boy dodger, oh okay” you laughed as dodger knocked you over and attacked you with kisses Chris Smiled as he looked over at the both of you knowing that he could see a future between the two of you, and to think if you weren’t locked in the house you two may of never met. 

#Chris Evans #Chris Evans smut #chris Evans fluff #Chris Evans x Reader #Chris Evans x you #Chris Evans x y/n #Chris Evans fandom #Chris Evans Story #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #Defending Jacob #andy barber #Lobby hero #Captian america #Steve rodgers #ari levinson

[chikkou]

Will you talk more about Lisa?? Lisa the character specifically but also your feelings on his feelings about Buddy? I just thought your analysis was so good and I want to hear other thoughts you have on her.

yall are honestly spoiling me rn sdhkfdjfks this is like a dream come true 

i already got into the stuff with buddy in this ask here but i have a LOT to say about lisa and the connection between her and buddy so u better settle in!

ok so firstly ill start with lisa. i played the original lisa game (lisa the first) not long after it first dropped in 2012, and im not even kidding when i said it changed me LMAO.... seeing a story about a girl suffering is nothing new, but austin jorgensens approach to it was so fucking unique. you dont just witness it, you get to EXPERIENCE it right along with her. many stories that involve sexual abuse/rape show or otherwise depict it explicitly for the shock value, which is both disgusting and, in my opinion, extremely fucking exploitative. i feel that it is horrific to dignify an act so deeply evil with screentime. but lisa stood out to me immediately because, even though you know exactly whats going on, the game NEVER shows anything explicit. everything is layered in subtext and symbolism, and austin is fantastic with indirect storytelling, so you learn so much from just a little drop of information. this applies not just to the game proper, but to the character as well.

in case its not clear: i absolutely ADORE lisa. she is my favorite character in all of the games, bar none. its going to sound kind of fucked up, but as a kid around her age going through some fucked up shit, her committing suicide at the end felt like a sort of victory to me. she knew she could never escape from marty or what he was doing to her. he leaks into every single part of her psyche, everything she ever cared about or loved is ruined because of him, and even the vague memory of her mother is completely corrupted, and turned into a muddled version of him. lisa the first also had the added benefit of some religious commentary, as there are crosses all over their home and marty is characterized as an extremely religious man, which i fucking LOVE and wish had come back in the painful, but its an acceptable loss. anyway, lisa committing suicide at the end was an act of defiance against not just marty, but martys god, as suicide is considered a mortal sin in catholicism. lisa knew she’d never be free of marty in life, so she escaped the only way she could; she was defiant to the end.

ive seen people complain that the painful has a bit of a “lost lenore” thing going on, since lisas death seems to fuel the Manpain of both brad and buzzo, but i actually disagree. on the contrary, its just like austin himself said - lisa will never be gone. lisa is ALWAYS there, with brad, and buzzo, and buddy, and marty, and yado, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. i dont necessarily think that there is something paranormal going on in the game, but i AM going to say that, unlike other cases of a girl/woman dying for a mans backstory, lisa isnt just a bittersweet memory they can reflect on and then put away when its convenient for them. she is a presence that is felt throughout the entire game. brad sees her more than once, sometimes watching, sometimes reprimanding him. buzzo is clearly haunted by her, as he cries out to her a few times in the joyful. every character who was directly touched by lisa - brad, marty, and buzzo - calls out to lisa as they die. call it their guilt or call it her actions, but in either case, it is clear that lisa just as significant of a character in the painful as she was in the first, even if she cant always be seen. even in a meta-sense, every game in the series - even the joyful, whose protagonist doesnt even know who she is - is named after her. she is at the center of everything that happens in them. 

that actually brings me to buddy, because i find the dynamic between her and lisa fucking fascinating. as i previously mentioned, brad never talked about his past with buddy, and snaps at her for bringing up his adoptive son dusty (rando), so it goes without saying that she definitely doesnt know who lisa is. in spite of that, though, lisa is a fucking massive part of buddys life, and while she may not know the person herself, i think she is aware that when people (and brad especially) look at her, they arent seeing HER. 

i mentioned it in another post, but even though brad takes it upon himself to raise and “protect” buddy, he seems to almost unwittingly recreate lisas appearance, primarily by allowing her hair to grow long even though he knows what a risk that is to her safety. he also treats buddy in a manner thats incredibly similar to how marty treated lisa (sans sexual abuse, of course) - he insults her, does not let her leave the house at all, and forces her to do unsavory things that no one should ever have to do (in buddys case, this means killing at least two innocent people because brad doesnt want a “weak” daughter). the most literal comparison between buddy and lisa is the fact that they are both very young girls being essentially held captive by their father figures, albeit for different reasons, and both long for freedom from their captors. 

theres also the fact that both buddy and lisa have to deal with misogyny and the effects of rape culture firsthand; they both battle against men who feel entitled to do with them whatever they please, and the threat of ongoing sexual abuse looms heavy over both of their heads. neither one can seek help from anyone; the neighbors in brad and lisas town seem complacent at best, if they even know what is happening to lisa at all, and buddys only allies (sans rando) are long dead by the start of the joyful. this is not just a hypothetical or a distant possibility. this is the real, tangible fate that will befall them if they cant somehow secure their safety.

sadly, because lisa wasnt playable in either of the rpgs, we dont know if she was able to fight as brad was, but it is highly probable that she had the innate skill but was never able to learn it (as marty highly discouraged them from learning “their grandfathers karate,” and seemed disgusted whenever brad did so). however, she did have ONE weapon she could make use of, and this is a weapon buddy ends up using, as well - her femininity. she became close to bernard (aka buzzo), made him fall in love with her, and then used him as a last ditch effort to stop martys abuse by having him mutilate her face. im not saying lisa never cared about bernard - in fact, i think she DID really love and care for him - but her own fucked up experiences with “love” meant she really couldnt understand what it was supposed to be like, or that it was wrong to manipulate the people you care about. lisa did very few things wrong - it pretty much just stops at the maiming of the cat and her manipulation of bernard - but she knew that she would never get away from marty without some kind of drastic action being taken, and scarring herself was her last ditch effort before ultimately committing suicide.

buddy ends up taking a somewhat similar tack in the joyful, and like in lisas case, its simultaneously resourceful and horrific. one of buddys key moves in the joyful is to flash the enemy (which the player obviously doesnt see) in order to distract them long enough to get the kill. its fucking horrible and disgusting and makes you feel so dirty, but then, how must buddy feel having to do something like that just to survive? shes just a child, but in a world where almost every man is out to get you, she knows this has to be done to save herself, very much like lisa. unlike in lisas case, though, buddy is successful in securing her safety in this way - lisas effort is for naught, and leads to her committing suicide not very long after. 

in a way, i sort of attribute buddys brutality to lisas omnipresence; all of the men pursuing buddy are just like marty, monsters who would harm a fucking child for their own disgusting ends, and i think that when buzzo said that lisa wouldve loved olathe, what he means is that she would have loved seeing so many horrible men being punished for what theyd done. so in my opinion, buddy carving out a place for herself in olathe by killing all those who would subjugate her seems very much in the mentality lisa would have had. sure, there are some innocents who sadly get roped into it, but that would definitely not be her intention; for example, if buzzo could have practiced amputation without harming a living thing, i dont think lisa would have asked him to practice on the cat. note the LACK of brutality at the beehive and the swamp bar, two of the few peaceful places in the painful and both devoid of predatory men hunting for buddy - lisa has no qualm with any of them. but marty? brad could hardly even get a full sentence out before killing him on the spot. i dont doubt that that has a great deal to do with lisas presence. 

ok i talked for a while LMAO but basically i think that, in a more metatextual sense, lisa and buddys relationship really strikes me as an accurate depiction of generational trauma. of course it was intentional with the more obvious trauma chain (marty to brad to buddy), but the trauma chain of marty to lisa to buddy is rarely ever addressed due to lisa not physically appearing in the painful. however, i believe it may inform buddys actions a great deal more than people realize - after all, buddys experience is unique, but who could understand it better than lisa? who knows that sort of pain, of being alone on an island, the lone woman trapped with a man (or men) who want nothing more than to cause you harm? even without her realizing it, lisa is guiding buddy, encouraging her to take back what is hers no matter the cost, to punish those who would try to take what they want from her. lisa might be dead, but she is a vengeful presence throughout every game, and buddys actions feel like theyre meant not only to save herself, but to avenge lisa, even if she doesnt realize it. at the end of the day, buddy and lisa both get to exact revenge against all the men who have wronged them, and they succeed. they are aggressive, and violent, and selfish, and ANGRY - and they have every fucking right to be. 

#lisa the first #lisa the painful #lisa the joyful #long post #yall GOTTA stop u know good and damn well i will talk about this game all fucking day hdskjdsk #rape mention #abuse mention #lisa #anya's anons

[imagine-loki]

Once Upon an Unrequited Love

TITLE: Once Upon an Unrequited Love

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT:5/?

AUTHOR: Tragically-Sarcastic

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine 1 2 3 4 

RATING:

NOTES/WARNINGS: I wrote this in one sitting, I have no earthly idea how.

 FYI: I made up the Circle, I tried to search for a mythical place that you could find in a forest, but none of them felt right. I used an Icelandic translator, so please don’t come for me if the translations are incorrect lol (research said that Icelandic is the closest modern language to old norse) 

The entrance of the circle was inspired by a picture prompt, when I saw it I was smacked by the idea of my Circle myth. I wrote down all the details I thought of and started writing this chapter. I had already written the last half, so I have a pretty decent sized chapter.

Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!

Happy Reading, my back hurts from sitting at my desk to write this! 

_________

“So where exactly are we going in this endless forest, and how do you know where we are going?” Loki asks, looking around at the trees that all seem identical to him.

“I come here everyday, so its a memorized path.” She says with a smile and a shake of her head. 

“Are you going to tell me what you are showing me? Or shall I walk for another hour in suspense.” He says, trying to look annoyed but failing. 

“What?” She turns to him with a smirk. “ The God of Mischief can’t take some mischief right back?”

“Teasing minx.” He mutters under his breath. 

He turns around to walk backward, looking at her. 

“At least tell me how much long-“ she cuts him off.

“Turn around and look your Royal Impatientness.” She points behind him.

He turns around to look at what she’s pointing at…and sees nothing.

He looks back at her tilting his head and searching her face for any sign that she was joking.

“Has being alone this long driven you mad?” he asks, only half joking.

She rolls his eyes at his confused look.

“Come stand where I am standing you daft man.” she grabs both of his shoulders, pointing him toward the doorway seeming to be made of vines and branches. 

“I don’t see it.”

“What do you mean you don’t see it? Its right there!” she says in frustration. She walks in front of him, just missing the mischievous look in his eyes. She looks back at the doorway and turns to him. 

“Stand behind me.” she demands. 

She feels his body behind her, as his hands settle on her hips. She raises an eyebrow in surprise. 

“Uh…what are you doing Loki?” She asks, trying to hide how flustered his touch has made her. 

She feels his breath brush her neck as he speaks in a whisper.

“I’m standing behind you.” 

“Well…you don’t have to stand so close Loki.”

“I know, now show me what you were looking at.”

“O-Ok, just kinda lower your head to be even with mine and look straight ahead of us.” She says, stuttering alittle. “Do you see it now?” When he doesn’t reply she turns her head to look at him, only to discover his face to be directly even with hers, and he was looking at her. 

“What are you doing Loki?” She whispers as her eyes jump from his brilliantly colored eyes to his mouth and back again. This is the closest they’ve ever been. 

He has an odd look on his face, before she can determine what it is he looks away, back in front of them.

“I see it now,” he pulls away, almost seeming reluctant to part from her. He puts his hand on her waist, slightly pushing her forward. 

“Shall we?”

They head toward the natural doorway, one confused and one silently determined. 

She stops for a moment to turn to him.

“So this is ‘Þögn hring’, Circle of Silence.” She says. “Once we walk though that door it will be completely silent. You won’t be able to hear anything at all, your breathing, speaking, or even our footsteps.” She tells him seriously. “Sometimes its a shock to the brain for sudden complete silence. Most can’t take being in the circle for more than ten minutes.” She smiles a small smile. “Ive been coming here for years so I can stay for much longer.”

Loki looks genuinely interested, a quizzical look on his face as he studies the doorway that looks like nothing more than a creative twist of nature. 

“How did you find out about this place?” He asks looking back down at her for answers.

“Well,” she says hesitantly. “When I first came to this forest I wondered around a lot. Just thinking about life I guess, and what I would do with mine going forward.” She looks away, lost in the memory. “I was having a particularly hard day, missing my parents, my friends, and y-“ she looks at him, embarrassed that she had let that slip.

“I was missing you as well.” She looks back into the distance, thinking back on that day. “I had wondered farther than usual and was, admittedly, lost. When I came upon this doorway I thought it was just a twist of branches so I walked through. I stumbled back out and I very nearly passed out from the shock of it.” She looks back up at him.

“Thats why I wanted to tell you before hand, I wasn’t prepared for it so it was very startling. But since you’ll be prepared you should be fine.”

She takes a step forward, looking back at him with a hand outstretched. 

“You ready?” 

He takes her hand as they step over the threshold. Ironically, the silence is deafening, an odd silence that has no chance of disturbance. He looks at her, astonished and extremely curious about this magical place. He lets go of her hand and walks a few steps away, and sure enough, not a single sound is made from his shoes making contact with the ground. 

Their laughter goes unheard.

————

“So why did you come back after your first experience with the circle?” Loki asks as they are making their way back to the house. 

“Well, I was extremely confused about what had happened. So when I got home I got out some books from our library about magical phenomena in forests.” Her hand waves around as she explains.  

“When I discovered the myth of the circle I knew that it was what I was looking for. Its origin is a very interesting story that resonated with me at the time.” She says as Loki helped her over a fallen tree. 

“A long time ago an ancestor of mine had a great heartbreak, it doesn’t say exactly what happened, whether it was a death of a loved one or a betrayal. But it says that she would search for a silent corner for some peace and quiet but no matter where she went or how quiet it was she was never happy with the near silence. So, she started looking for a solution. She came across a way to make an area silent for a small amount of time, and it worked fine at first, but she eventually got tired of casting it every time she wanted some peace. So she experimented with it until she eventually created the Circle. It was her favorite place to go and sit, and it just happened to be the place that she finally got it right.” She has a small sad sort of smile on her face.

“Im sure you connected with the heartbreak part of the story.” He says, obviously still angry with himself for his part in her sadness. 

She stays silent because he’s right, and she sees no sense in denying his part in it. 

She thinks back to that fateful day, the day her heart was broken by the one person that she thought would always be there for her. He had said that not only was she a ‘Royal hungry harlot’, but he also told her that she was a clingy thorn on his side, that he could never get rid of. His words that day were the reason she had to leave. 

She loved him with her whole being, and the thought of being a nuisance to him ripped her apart.

So she left. 

~Past~

A knock sounds on the door to the Queens private rooms, she already knows who it is. She turns to the door as it slowly opens, the girl entering being so familiar with her that she knows she can walk right in. Sadness is plain on her face, broken hearted would describe the youth. 

“Hello dear,” Frigga walks over to her, taking her hands in her own. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages, how are you?” she asks sweetly. 

“Frigga I must ask a very large favor of you.” She states plainly. “I need to…leave town. Immediately…Quietly.” she takes a deep breath, preparing for the second half of her request. 

“I also…need you to not tell Loki where Ive gone, or that you know of me leaving at all.”

Her words are a shock.

“Are you alright? Has something threatened you?” Frigga asks worried. “Leaving town seems rather extreme, and on top of that, why can’t Loki know?” Her eyebrows goes up in concern. “Is …Is he the reason?”

“Something has happened between us, and I must leave. Make no mistake, he has done me no physical harm and the situation is entirely my fault. However, I fear he will eventually try to find me and I-… I don’t want him to.” She shakes her head, tears welling in her eyes. 

“I can’t take seeing him when Ive come to know what I know.” She looks up at the woman that she has always viewed as a mother. 

“Please Frigga, please help me slip away and please don’t tell him where I’ve gone.” A lone tear makes its way down her cheek.

Frigga wipes the tear away, her heart aching for the heartbroken look of the girl in front of her.

“I won’t, I promise.” She takes her face in her hands and kisses her forehead comfortingly before wrapping her up in a hug. 

“Frigga, you must know how I appreciate you and all you’ve done for me over the time I’ve known you. I just-“ She takes a deep breath and lets it out shakily. 

“You have no need to thank me dear, I view you as my own and would do anything you requested.” Frigga assures her with a small, if not sad, smile on her face.  

The girl reluctantly pulls away, wiping the tears away and taking a deep fortifying breath.

“Im going to my families forest, Verndaskógur, It is very secure so there is no need to worry after my safety…once I’m gone.” 

“Please don’t try and change my mind, my heart is already broken leaving all of you. Please don’t be angry with me for leaving, you are the closest thing I have to a mother left, I don’t want to leave on a bad note.��� She pleads.

“I must ask, are you sure you can’t workout whatever happened between you? You and Loki have had disagreements over the years and you’ve always made up, how is this time any different? Won’t you discuss it with him first?” She makes one last attempt at getting her to stay.

“Im sure. This time is different. I have to leave, I can’t be around him anymore I-…” she looks up at Frigga. “Im sure you know that I love him, but… I have to leave him, for my own good and his. I need to get out of his life, out of his way…for good.” She says, a determined look on her face. 

#Loki #Angst #Submitted fic #submission #tragically-sarcastic #chapter 5 #Once Upon an Unrequited Love

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

All Is Found:Anastasia!AU

Part IV – As The Pieces Fall Into Place

Fandom: The Witcher Word Count: 1,381 Rating: T Taglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @jill-makes-art @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle​  @writingstudent @mlleecrivaine @coffee-and-stories​ @astouract​ @ultracolorfulnerdcollection  @your-not-invisible-to-me @kemmastan @mycat-is-mylove @amirahiddleston 

a/n: A retelling of Don Bluth’s Anastasia (1997)

Stregobor was a patient man.

He attributed his survival to this fact, unwilling to rush in where others may. He was also careful to keep himself at a distance, sending in others to do most of the work for him. The Toussaint Affair, as he delicately called it, was one of the rare exceptions where he’d chosen to be there. He needed to see the plan through to ensure its success and for satisfaction. The Nilfgaardians had offered him a king’s ransom and a position as Chief Advisor but he had insisted on staying, patiently waiting in hiding until he could find definitive proof of the princess’s death.

In the 10 years since she had slipped from his grasp not a day had gone by that he didn’t think of her. No scouts had been able to find her body but spies in Cidaris hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her either. The Nilfgaardians felt confident in their hold on the territory and he knew that there were whispers that he had grown paranoid and mad in his old age. Perhaps the only people on earth who believed the girl was still alive were himself and her grandmother. Her grandmother was slowly losing hope, the rumors reported. He was far more steadfast. Women were tricky. You could think they were handled and then they would crop up like dandelions in a garden, despoiling what had been set in motion without regard for the bigger picture. And so he waited, and he ignored the whispers and taunts, and he prepared.

Until the day his patience was rewarded.

-----

It was a lovely day to leave the country.

The air was briskly cold but it hadn’t continued snowing and the sun was out. You were standing in a clearing in the woods with not a single living person in sight beyond the three of you. Geralt had gone deeper into the woods briefly, leaving you and Jaskier alone. The bard immediately pulled his lute around and began to strum a wordless tune. You waited patiently for a few minutes but patience had never been your strong suit.

“What’s that song?” you asked.

“I don’t know yet,” he said.

“Oh you’re writing it?”

“Of course,” Jaskier scoffed, “I’m not going to perform songs that aren’t my own composition.”

“Ah, well, of course,” you said, amused by his incredulity, “It’s very pretty.”

This earned you a little smile though his face turned up to the sky as he worked out a rhyme or a stanza or whatever it was bards worked out.

“Are you from New Nilfgaard?” you asked, “Originally, I mean.”

“Not originally, no,” he said, eyes falling back down to the instrument in his arms. You sensed you were approaching a tender subject and resolved to wait quietly and not ask any further questions.

“Is Geralt?” you asked, your promise forgotten.

“You’re very inquisitive,” Jaskier remarked, though not critically. He looked at you as though he were trying to figure you out, the sky-blue eyes assessing.

“I haven’t been around people my age much,” you admitted, “Once you become an adult you’re sent out so it was hard to establish any real connections, knowing you’d likely never seen them again.”

“That sounds lonely,” he said, something like empathy in his eyes. It made you uncomfortable and you searched for something to talk about instead.

“Tell me about the lute,” you suggested, gesturing to the instrument.

“Oh, well, this is a lute,” he said, pulling the strap overhead to better show it to you, “It was my first… lute.”

“Well it’s very lovely,” you praised. You weren’t actually sure if that was true, having little knowledge of lute aesthetics, but the sounds he made with it were pretty.

There was a rustling behind the trees and Jaskier rose, covering you and raising his lute.

“Who goes there?” he intoned.

Geralt moved into view, glancing amusedly from the raised lute down to Jaskier.

“Geralt! Excellent! Were you able to get it?” the bard asked, lowering the instrument and rushing closer to his friend. Geralt reached into his pocket and Jaskier quickly took the paper from his hands, looking over it for a moment before his face broke into a grin and he turned back to face you.

“Fresh off the presses madame,” Jaskier crowed, presenting you with a newly written identification papers with a flourish. It was, you assumed, excellently crafted. It had your name, including the placeholder surname you’d been given at the Home, and a description of you from your height to an estimation of weight (a strikingly accurate one, actually) and other appearance details.  

“How does it work?” you asked, holding the paper up to the sunlight.

“What are you doing? What do you mean how does it work?” Jaskier asked, snatching it from your hands and folding it back up, glancing around to see if anyone had noticed. You rolled your eyes at his paranoia.  

“Well surely it can’t be that simple. It looks incredibly easy to forge,” you remarked. Jaskier looked at Geralt who incredulously who just shrugged.

“Trust us and our methods and you focus on your part,” Jaskier insisted. You crossed your arms over your chest and gave him a pointed look but the bard didn’t so much as flinch. Geralt took a step back.

“Jaskier, do you really believe I’m the heir of Toussaint?” you asked calmly. Jaskier pretended he didn’t feel Geralt’s eyes on him as he scoffed.

“You know I do,” he answered.

“Then as your rightful ruler, I would like to know how you have made this document,” you said.

“I’m not a native of this country, remember?” Jaskier volleyed, taking a step towards you, hands on his hips and his voice low and serious, “You have no authority over me.”

“But I do over myself. And that has my name on it,” you shot back, moving towards him to bridge the distance, stance just as determined. You stared into the stormy blue eyes for several long, tense moments as you battled over who was more stubborn, both assured that you would win out.

“There’s a magicked ink,” Geralt said, breaking through the tension as both of you dropped your gazes to look at the witcher. “The ink can only be gathered through certain channels and we have an associate who was able to procure some. It will be believed.”

“What about the signature?” you asked.

“Forgery is the easiest part of all of it,” Geralt answered with a laugh, “Jaskier is right that we know how to navigate this world. You can rest assured of that at least.”

“Alright,” you said as you turned to look again at Jaskier, a note of resignation in your voice, “What is my part?”

“Let’s walk and talk, I don’t like these woods,” Geralt said, moving off towards town. You and Jaskier fell in step behind him and the bard began to quiz you on what you knew about Toussaint.

-----

“Master Stregobor.”

The young woman knelt before him, snow still falling off of her boots and melting into the stone floor.

“You’ve found her,” he said. The woman rose and nodded excitedly. He’d promised much to any one of his devotees who succeeded in finding the first lead on the princess. “Where?”

“She is accompanied by a witcher and a bard. They were in the woods but I heard them speaking of their plans. They’ve forged identification papers and plan to head to Cidaris,” she replied. Stregobor’s eyes shone with unmistakable satisfaction. He exhaled deeper than he had in 10 years and nodded fondly at the mage apprentice who waited for her reward.

“You have done very well,” he said, “Your work has been instrumental in ensuring the proper order of New Nilfgaard and your name will be remembered.”

She died with a smile on her face, the action so quick she didn’t even realize it was happening. Stregobor had stayed alive by sending others to do the work for him, but he had learned an important lesson those many years ago. He had the upper hand, making moves before anyone knew he was a player, and he would continue to be ruthless in his elimination of loose ends. This time there would be no mistakes. 

#All Is Found series #Anastasia!AU #The Witcher!AU #fanfiction

[skogmancalahan]

Could you expand on the wolf imagery in your Bran and Arya meta? Many ppl believe sansa and jon are the WOLVES of house stark (me a little) it would be really helpful if you could give us more on Bran and Arya being wolves in text

Alright *cracks knuckles* let's do this. Since I’m currently working on Branrya parallels I have some stuff saved. Obvs Sansa and Jon do have wolf imagery as well, Jon more than Sansa but Arya and Bran are the Stark siblings with the most wolf imagery as prev. mentioned. Having wolf imagery that’s as heavy as theirs is to show how strongly they are connected to their Stark heritage (aka the show can kiss my ass).

Bran and Arya both value the idea of a pack, whether that be through Ned’s ‘the pack survives’ speech to Arya or simply because they think of themselves as wolves like Bran. And the fact that their family - in their minds - is synonymous to a wolf pack.  

Summer's howls were long and sad, full of grief and longing. Shaggydog's were more savage. Their voices echoed through the yards and halls until the castle rang and it seemed as though some great pack of direwolves haunted Winterfell, instead of only two . . . two where there had once been six. Do they miss their brothers and sisters too? Bran wondered. Are they calling to Grey Wind and Ghost, to Nymeria and Lady's Shade? Do they want them to come home and be a pack together? - Bran I, acok

When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives," he  said. "But there is no pack," she whispered to the weirwood. Bran and Rickon were dead, the Lannisters had Sansa, Jon had gone to the Wall. "I'm not even me now, I'm Nan." - Arya X, acok

They are both searching for their pack (despite gaining new packs - gendry and hot pie in Arya’s case - and summer’s wolf pack in adwd):

Wolves, she thought again. Like me. Was this her pack? How could they be Robb's men? She wanted to hit them. She wanted to hurt them. She wanted to cry. - Arya V, asos

They were his now. They were pack. No, the boy whispered, we have another pack. Lady's dead and maybe Grey Wind too, but somewhere there's still Shaggydog and Nymeria and Ghost. Remember Ghost? - Bran I, adwd

Arya deems it necessary to have a pack, she literally lives by what her father taught her about wolves:

There is no place here for Arya of House Stark, she was thinking. Arya's place was Winterfell, only Winterfell was gone. When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. She had no pack, though. They had killed her pack, Ser Ilyn and Ser Meryn and the queen, and when she tried to make a new one all of them ran off, Hot Pie and Gendry and Yoren and Lommy Greenhands, even Harwin, who had been her father's man. - Arya II, affc

They are both leading packs like bad ass wolf children:

She says there's this great pack, hundreds of them, mankillers. The one that leads them is a she-wolf, a bitch from the seventh hell. - Arya II, acok

A few snaps and a warning growl, and the female and the tail submitted too. The pack was his. - Bran I, adwd

Remember how “The Starks know no music but the howling of wolves." and Bran and Arya are the only stark siblings who we’ve seen actually howl. It's an homage to how Stark they truly are.

"Oooo," Bran cried tentatively. He cupped his hands around his mouth and lifted his head to the comet. "Ooooooooooooooooooo, ahooooooooooooooo," he howled. It sounded stupid, high and hollow and quavering, a little boy's howl, not a wolf's. Yet Summer gave answer, his deep voice drowning out Bran's thin one, and Shaggydog made it a chorus. Bran haroooed again. They howled together, last of their pack.- Bran I, acok

But when she looked again she realized they were only a pack of wolves. She cupped her hands around her mouth and howled down at them, "Ahooooooooo, ahooooooooo." When the largest of the wolves lifted its head and howled back, the sound made Arya shiver. - Arya I, asos

They are also the only siblings who have been implied to have wolf blood like Brandon (who Bran’s named after) and Lyanna (who everyone says is similar to Arya). Coincidence? I think not.

The Walders might be scared of them, but the Starks had wolf blood. Old Nan told him so. "Though it is stronger in some than in others," she warned. - Bran I, acok

You are Arya of Winterfell, daughter of the north. You told me you could be strong. You have the wolf blood in you. - Arya X, acok

There’s also the fact that they both find strength in being wolves (as wargs and as starks). They draw bravery and courage from being wolves:  

"I'd sooner be a wolf. Then I could live in the wood and sleep when I wanted, and I could find Arya and Sansa. I'd smell where they were and go save them, and when Robb went to battle I'd fight beside him like Grey Wind. I'd tear out the Kingslayer's throat with my teeth, rip, and then the war would be over and everyone would come back to Winterfell. If I was a wolf . . . “ - Bran I, acok

Arya went to her knees. She wasn't sure how she should begin. She clasped her hands together. Help me, you old gods, she prayed silently. Help me get those men out of the dungeon so we can kill Ser Amory, and bring me home to Winterfell. Make me a water dancer and a wolf and not afraid again, ever. - Arya IX, acok

Yes, Arya thought. Yes, it's you who ought to run, you and Lord Tywin and the Mountain and Ser Addam and Ser Amory and stupid Ser Lyonel whoever he is, all of you better run or my brother will kill you, he's a Stark, he's more wolf than man, and so am I. - Arya VII, acok

I am a direwolf, and done with wooden teeth. - Arya X, acok

He was wolf. He was hunter and stalker and slayer, and he belonged with his brothers and sisters in the deep woods, running free beneath a starry sky. He sat on his haunches, raised his head, and howled. I will not go, he cried. I am wolf, I will not go. - Bran VII, acok

"Bran the boy and Summer the wolf. You are two, then?" "Two," he sighed, "and one." - Bran I, asos

I'm not a lady, Arya wanted to tell her, I'm a wolf. - Arya IV, asos

That’s only the tip of the iceberg, there’s so much more in their wolf dreams. I hope that helped you understand where I’m coming from when I say Arya and Bran are the most connected to their wolf heritage. D&D did them dirty. If any two starks should have been quoting ‘the pack survives’ (ARYA’S QUOTE BY THE FRICKIN WAY AS MENTIONED IN MY PREVIOUS META), it should have been them.

#arya stark #bran stark #house stark #game of thrones #asoiaf #got #ask vee #asoiaf meta

[justauthoring]

Feigning The Connection (36/?)

Prompt: You seem so invincible. But just touch you and you’ll wince. You have secrets and trust no one. You’re the perfect example of betrayal. Because anyone you’ve ever trusted broke you. Thrust into a new world, will you be able to stay alone, or will Bellamy work his way in?

SEASON ONE,TWO, THREE, FIVE AND SIX

A/N: I know I said I wasn’t going to post this until the second episode came out, but I thought, why not? So, here you go!

I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently.

AGAIN, remember if you’d like me to continue this series, just leave a little comment or an ask letting me know. I will NOT continue the series if no one wants me to.

Pairing: Bellamy x Reader

Based off of: The 100 06x01 

Warnings: spoilers.

Tag’s List: @super-river-walker - @deathofthethrones - @dontstopxx - @chebz - @isabellaskyliner - @jeppthatsme - @sarita-villa - @jedibookmasterofnorta - @hoesugh - @wsternhaikus - @doctorwhoandrory - @claudsgodz - @multi-fandom-dumpster - @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked - @stonesandskeletonbones - @morgannope @kaelyn-lobrutto24 - @jodiereedus22 - @lovelynerdytraveler - @savannah0111 want to be featured on my tag’s list? message me letting me know.

-

“Can you see it? Is it beautiful? It is in my dreams. I hope we do better there. I hope your lives there will be as happy as mine has been. Be the good guys. May we meet again.” 

You blink at the tears that well in your eyes, swallowing thickly. Your lips part with the rest, whispering the words: “may we meet again.” You can barely focus on the planet that awaits all of you, the realization that Monty and Harper, two friends you’ve known since the beginning, were dead. And have been dead for a long time.

“I know this is a lot to process.” Blinking, you turn your gaze to Bellamy whose stood behind you, briefly meeting his gaze before turning back to the front, letting your eyes wander across the new planet Monty found for you all. You can’t seem to bask in any excitement, your heart heavy. “Take an hour and meet in the mess. We need to game this out.”

“Guys,” you ignore the tightening of your chest at the sound of Clarke’s voice. Your expression shifts from somber to barely concealed anger, licking your lips slowly. “We survived. Monty made sure of it.”

“Now we get our humanity back,” Abby whispers.

“Some of us never lost it.” Raven spits without hesitation, spinning and walking off, her steps heavy and angry as she shoves her way past Abby, grabbing her bag along the way and storming out of the room. You watch her with a frown, deciding not to follow after her the moment you see Shaw move to do so.  

Silence echoes across the rest of you. As everyone slowly disperses, moving on to do their own thing, you find yourself rooted in your spot, just staring, lost in your own thoughts. When you’d gone into cryo, you’d expected to wake up to a renewed and habitable earth. You expected everyone to wake up with you as well. Instead, two of your own were dead and it was a hundred years into the future from when you’d gone to sleep.

You weren’t going back to earth. Earth was gone. You were going to a new planet, unknown if it was safe for you all or not and if something down there would kill you all. It felt all too similar to when you’d first been sent down to earth.

“You okay?”

Raising your chin, you tilt your head to the right, meeting Bellamy’s eyes who come to a stop next to you. He smiles at you, although weak and heavy, meeting your gaze with concern ridden in the irises of his eyes. With a small, somber smile yourself, you nod, although you feel anything but okay. “I will be,” you answer, voice soft. “Like you said, it’s a lot to process.”

Bellamy nods, his gaze moving towards what was meant to be your new home; planet Alpha.

Then, you can’t help but ask; “what if we’d done it?”

And Bellamy blinks, his brows furrowing in concern at your question. You meet his eyes once more, turning towards him to elaborate. “I know we couldn’t have,” you begin to explain yourself, “but what if we had stayed behind? It must’ve been lonely, but they had each other. They didn’t have to fight, they didn’t have to wonder what would come next, it was just them. Do you think we’ll ever get that?”

Realization dawns on Bellamy, and his hand raises, falling on your cheek to cup it gently. You lean into his touch, frowning.

“One day.” Bellamy nods, “one day it’ll all just stop and you won’t be able to get rid of me.”

And for the first time since you woke up, a smile curves on your lips. A genuine one. You roll your eyes at Bellamy’s tease, slapping his hand away lightly, “I already can’t.” And Bellamy mocks hurt, but you can tell in his expression, just like he can definitely tell in yours, that you’re just joking.

“But,” you add after a moment, “I would like that.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy nods, “me too.”

-

“Hey, you see Raven or Shaw?”

“You know, the people you handed over to our enemy to be tortured.”

You dip your head at Emori’s comment, biting your lip. It’s not that you necessarily disagreed with Emori’s statement, it just things were already tense enough.  

“Now, for Clarke,” you sigh when you hear Murphy’s voice, picking up your head from Bellamy’s side and raising a brow at him. “We call that a Tuesday.”

“Easy,” Echo sighs, “she did the right thing in the end.”

At that, you flicker your gaze over to Clarke, watching as her lips curve downwards into a frown, swallowing thickly. But she doesn’t argue against the jibes sent her way, she simply just shakes her head, taking a step forward. “No,” she mumbles, “I haven’t seen them.”

“I’m not saying I disagree,” you speak up, watching Clarke move towards her mother out of the corner of your eye. “But just... lay low a little on the hits. I think you’ve made it perfectly clear how mad you are at her.”

Murphy rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his algae before turning to you. “Why aren’t you more mad?” He questions, quirking a brow, before gesturing to Bellamy. “I mean, she let Bellamy be sent into the pit, didn’t she? She left Raven and Shaw to be tortured. And that’s just the half of it.”

Meeting Bellamy’s eyes, you sigh.

“See, you are mad,” Murphy continues, the edges of his lips curving into a smirk. 

“Yeah, but--”

“Will first-culture algae do?” You’re interrupted by Jordan, your head turning over your shoulder, watching as he walks over to both Clarke and his mother with a tray of stuff in his hands. Setting the tray down on the table, Jordan smiles over at the two. “My dad wanted me to give this to you.”

Lips parted, Clarke realizes; “the stuff Bellamy used on Octavia.”

Frowning, you gaze at the back of Bellamy’s head, setting your hand on his shoulder. 

“Exactly,” Jordan nods, “the first generation induces coma. He was hoping you could use it to save Kane.” Your eyes widen at Jordan’s words, hope flooding you at just the simple statement. Your eyes stay glued to the bottle of first-culture algae, watching as Abby grabs it from Jordan in disbelief.

“That can really work?” You speak up, causing Jordan’s eyes to fall on you. “It can help my dad?”

Nodding, Jordan smiles; “that’s what my dad thought.”

“Thank you,” Abby whispers, glancing up at Jordan with great appreciation in her gaze. You can’t help but mimic it, a smile falling on your lips as Jordan beams down at her brightly. “Take Jackson to the ground,” Abby continues, standing up. “I’ll wake up Niylah to assist me.”

Just as Abby begins to walk out, Raven and Shaw walk in, hand-in-hand. “What did we miss?”

“Nothing,” Bellamy assures, moving to stand up. “It’s about time. Take a seat.” Raven and Shaw follow, you shuffling over to Echo to make room for the two, before turning back to Bellamy. “Okay, everyone. Listen up. Here’s what we know. Eligius III was a colonizing mission. According to the file, the mother-ship went to five planets that met necessary conditions for life, dropping mission teams on each one.

“Monty picked planet Alpha for us because it’s the closest and probably the most like earth.”

“Was there a ‘probably’?” Murphy questions, brows furrowing in doubt.

“We have to assume they couldn’t know for sure,” Shaw begins, turning over to Murphy. “Until they got here. We can scan the atmosphere from the bridge.”

“Actually,” Jordan speaks up, raising his hand nervously. “We can’t. None of the equipment we used to monitor earth is working. I’m guessing it’s interference from the ionosphere.”

Bellamy nods; “bottom line is, we won’t know if it’s survivable until we get down there.”

“Sounds familiar.”

“What about radio signals?” Raven offers, “anything from the ground that says the mission team survived.”

“No radio signals.”

“Likely also the ionosphere,” Jordan sighs. “There is an ultra-high frequency on radar, faint but--”

“A rescue beacon,” Shaw interrupts Jordan, raising his head. “We used them on Eligius IV to--”

“Great,” Emori cuts off in return, shrugging her shoulders. “If there’s a beacon, that means someone’s down there, right?”

“Not necessarily,” Shaw disputes. “They’re solar, so--”

“They can last forever.”

Biting your lip, you sit forward; “how long ago did Eligius III get here?”

“Hard to tell,” Jordan shrugs, meeting your eyes. “Since they never radioed back, but best estimate-- two hundred years, give or take.”

“That’s a long time to wait for a rescue.”

Silence echoes, uncertainty bouncing around the room. Then, Echo shrugs; “I trust Monty,” she offers, and just like that, the decision is made.

“Great,” Bellamy nods, “then it’s settled. We land at a distance, give us time to acclimate. We’ll wait for them to come to us.” 

Nodding, you inhale deeply. Sounded good enough for you.

“Let’s talk about guns,” Clarke begins, turning to Bellamy. “If we have them, we’ll use them.”

“We’re taking guns,” Bellamy dismisses, shifting on his feet with a sigh. “We’re also taking nonlethals,” he adds when Clarke moves to argue with him. “Now, Eligius IV had gas grenades and shock batons to control criminals. We won’t shoot first this time.”

“In that case,” Raven begins, her narrowed eyes falling on Clarke. “Clarke should stay here.”

“Raven,” Bellamy sighs, and you bite your lip for what’s to come, swallowing thickly. “You’re the one that’s staying here.”

“What?” Raven asks in disbelief, shaking her head. “Like hell I am.”

“Look,” Bellamy begins, trying to explain himself. “We can’t take both our pilots, and since we’ll be flying blind until we’re below the ionosphere, it has to be Shaw. That’s not all. Jordan, you’re staying, too.”

“Me?” Jordan questions, standing straighter. “Why?”

“I know it’s hard,” Clarke begins, pulling the boys eyes on her. “But your parents asked us to keep you safe. We have no idea what’s waiting for us down there.”

“Which is why we should take our best fighters.”

Shaking his head at Echo’s comment, Bellamy explains without hesitance. “My sister is the last person I trust not to shoot first, so she stays on ice with everyone else until we know what we’re dealing with.”

“And if it’s too late by then?”

“Fine,” Bellamy sighs, “i’ll wake up Miller. Good. Say your goodbyes, head to the transport ship.”

“Well, I call shotgun.”

Rolling your eyes at Murphy’s comment, you stand up. “What if I wanted shotgun?”

“Too late!”

-

“I’ll bring him back.”

Swallowing thickly, you nod at Abby’s words, keeping your distance. You don’t trust her, not after what she did to Raven, but you also know she’s the only one capable of saving your father right now. So, you really had no choice.

“Tell him I love him,” you whisper, swallowing thickly as you turn towards the pod. “Please.”

Without hesitation, Abby nods. “I will.”

“All right,” Bellamy speaks up, “let’s load up.”

Turning towards him, you fall by Bellamy’s side just as Clarke calls out; “right behind you.”

Bellamy nods at her, before turning to her. With a small smile, you take his hand in your own, leading him into the ship. And just before you make your way completely, you squeeze Bellamy’s hand, nodding up at him.

“Let’s do this.”

-

“Please be breathable. Please be breathable. Please be breathable.”

You let out a small chuckle at Jackson’s words, biting your lip as you follow after Bellamy, taking a small step forward. You let your eyes wander across the small bit of planet Alpha before you, reminiscent of when you’d first landed on earth with some of the same people.

It was beautiful, and unlike anything you’d ever seen.

“Breathable air,” Jackson concludes after a moment of silence. “Check.”

“Radiation levels good, too,” Emori confirms. “Eligius III didn’t need to send nightbloods, after all.”

You smile at Emori’s words, meeting her eyes with excitement.

“How about that beacon, Shaw?”

“Eight clicks due east,” Shaw answers, turning his head to the left. “I think it’s on high ground. There’s a water source about halfway.”

Turning your head up, you meet Bellamy’s eyes, smiling. “You should go first this time.”

“No,” he smiles softly back down at you, shaking his head. “We go together, all of us.”

He takes the first step, the rest following.

“Anyone got anything better than ‘we’re back, bitches’?” Miller questions, causing you to let out a small laugh.

“Monty would know what to say,” Murphy mumbles, “he should be here.”

Nodding his head, Bellamy smiles at Murphy; “he is.”

“He already said it,” Clarke reminds, pulling your focus on her. “‘Do better there’. Let’s do better here.”

“That’s easy to say,” Shaw reminds, raising a brow over at Clarke. “But talk is cheap.”

With that, he joins the rest, walking off. You glance over at Bellamy and Clarke one more time, before following. 

-

“We camp here.”

The smile on your face radiates, absolute mesmerized by the sight before you.

It’s beautiful, unlike anything you’ve ever seen. You remembered your excitement when you’d first landed on earth, when you got to see water for the first time. You thought that was the best it could get, yet here you were, looking at a whole new body of water on a completely different planet, and you were just as amazed and mesmerized as the first time.

“Looks like the suns are eclipsing.”

Blinking back at Clarke, you follow her line of sight, gaze landing on the sun. Sure enough, she’s right.

After a moment of silence, you hear Murphy mumble something under his breath, walking past you. You blink, watching as he moves towards the water and your eyes widen in concern. “Murphy-- Murphy, wait,” you call, moving to follow after him in concern.

“We haven’t tested it,” Jackson reminds.

“Yeah,” Murphy simply says.

“Your wounds haven’t healed yet!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

There’s clearly no stopping Murphy as he takes his shirt off, inching closer and closer towards the water. Then without hesitation nor an ounce of fear, he dives straight in, submerging under water. There’s a few moments of pure fear when he doesn’t re-submerge, and you feel your heart begin to pound in panic, fearing the worst.

“John?”

“Somethings’ wrong.”

You move to take your bag off, swinging one off of your shoulder, before Murphy, in typical Murphy style, re-submerges with a chuckle. “Whoo!” He cheers, causing your shoulders to fall with relief. “Come on in,” he exclaims, stepping towards the lot of you. “The water’s fine.”

“Oh,” Emori sighs, chuckling softly. “Who knew cockroaches could swim?”

“What?” John shrugs, inching closer to Emori. “Want me to teach you?”

Her face falls with realization. “No,” she shakes her head, moving to back up. “John, no.”

“Oh,” Murphy laughs, grabbing her hand and pulling her with him. “You’re coming with me.”

“I’m serious, John! Let me go. John!” Taking her by the waist, Murphy ignores Emori’s pleas, pulling her under water with him. The last thing you hear is a shrill squeal of surprise as you watch on with a grin, letting out a laugh.

Your attention, however, is pulled away when you feel Bellamy slip his hand into your own. You blink over at him, lips parting when he moves to pull off your other bag before moving to unzip your jacket. Murphy and Emori’s chattering and whooping echoes in the background as Bellamy starts to lead you towards the water himself.

“Bellamy,” you laugh, in disbelief. This was so unlike Bellamy, to be so care free, that you can barely restrain his pull cause you’re in so much disbelief. “Wait, Bellamy,” you laugh. “Hold up!”

“Come on!”

“Oh look,” you hear Murphy suddenly call, pulling your eyes on him as you feel your feet dip into the water, a small gasp of surprise leaving your lips at the cold temperature. “It’s Mr. and Mrs. Serious, come to join the fun?”

Rolling your eyes at Murphy’s comment, you turn towards Bellamy. You don’t like the mischievous grin on his face. “Bellamy,” you say slowly, shuffling backwards as best you can with your feet tracking through water. But, much like Murphy had done with Emori, Bellamy wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you under water with him.

You feel his arms leave yours as you both jump back out, wiping back your hair with a laugh.

“Bellamy!”

-

Running your hand through Bellamy’s hair, you let out a sigh.

“Miller helped keep your sister alive,” you whisper, interrupting the silence that had existed between the two of you. Shuffling slightly, you meet his eyes as he peers up at you. “Someday, you’ll thank him for that.”

“Will I?” Bellamy questions, quirking a brow.

“You will,” you nod, no doubt in your mind. “Because this is a chance to start over, and in order to do that, you have to forgive.” Smiling softly down at Bellamy, you press a kiss to his forehead. “Including your sister.”

Bellamy turns away from you at that, a deep frown marring his features as he lets out a sigh. “I can’t.’

You watch as a look passes into Bellamy’s eyes, frowning at the inner conflict within him. A moment of silence echoes, and just as you move to speak, Clarke’s voice interrupts you.

“Raven will get the radio working.”

She’s only met with silence, Shaw regarding her with a narrowed look that causes her to inhale deeply. “I’m sorry I turned you in, Shaw,” Clarke whispers, her voice sincere. 

“You really want to do this now?”

“Maybe,” Murphy speaks up, clearly annoyed. “You two should speak in private.”

“No,” Clarke argues without hesitation, “I want you all to hear this.” Shifting from beside Bellamy, you inhaling deeply, mentally preparing yourself for what’s to come.

“Great,” Murphy mumbles.

“If I could, I’d go back and do things differently,” Clarke begins, her eyes gazing across all of you. You frown when you meet her gaze, even for just a second, steadily. “But I cant. None of us can. For some reason, Monty thought we deserved a second chance.”

“Not for nothing,” Murphy reminds, his voice still cold towards her. “But this is, like, your fifth chance.”

Without hesitation, Clarke speaks up; “yours, too, Murphy.”

Biting your lip, you lower your gaze.

“Very good,” Murphy says after a moment, moving to stand up. “I got watch.” He walks off without another word.

“You’re right,” Shaw finally concludes, “your friend Monty gave you a second chance, but now what? Salvation comes from faith and good works, what you do, not what you say. You haven’t done anything yet.”

You watch as Clarke’s eyes narrow, her lips curved downwards into a deep frown. You’re angry at her, you are, but you can’t help but feel a little bit of pity for her. It can’t be easy knowing that everyone’s not only mad at you, but blames you for everything.

“Hey,” Bellamy suddenly speaks, sitting up from your grasp. “Listen. You hear that?”

Everyone falls silent, and you meet Bellamy’s eyes as he turns to you. Your own widen. “What happened to all the bugs?”

“Guys,” Jackson bellows, causing you to move to stand to your feet. “You guys got to see this.”

Rushing over to Jackson, your eyes widen at the jar in his hand. A jar that holds a bug, one that is desperately trying to crawl it’s out. “Five minutes ago, this thing ate a leaf out of my hand,” Jackson explains, causing your lips to part in disbelief. “Now, it wants to eat me. Now only that, it’s entire physiology has changed from--”

You jump as Murphy lets out a hiss, slapping the back of his neck. “Oh, look at that,” Murphy comments, turning back to Jackson’s bug. “Your pet’s pissed I killed it’s brother.”

Suddenly, a faint buzzing sound echoes.

“What the hell is that?”

Raising your head, your eyes widen. “Swarm.”

“It’s coming from the direction of the ship,” Echo realizes, “we’ll never make it back.”

“Everyone cover up! We’re heading to the beacon now.”

Following after Bellamy, you grab your bag from beside him, ducking into yourself to avoid the swarm of bugs attacking all of you.

“What if there’s nothing there?”

“Then we’re bug food.”

“All right,” Bellamy nods, “let’s move.”

Hissing, you let out a small groan at the multiple nips being taken to your face. You desperately pull your scarf around your face, covering your face to the best of your ability as you pick up the speed in your step.

“Cover your faces!”

Along the way, you hear the faint sound of Emori screaming out for Murphy. It seems Murphy notices it the same time you do, halting from beside you as he turns around, calling out for her in return. The two of you catch everyone else’s attention as Murphy moves to find Emori, Bellamy steps in front of him before he can, halting him. 

“Take the flare!”

You listen, taking the flare in your hand and flipping it on. As you raise it above your head, the swarm disperses.

“It worked!” Bellamy bellows over the chaos, “they hate the fire.”

“Everyone,” you scream, “light your flares!”

“Emori!” John calls, running forward. You follow him, helping him.

“Over here!” Emori’s voice echoes, “John, be careful. Run!”

Once he has her, you regroup with the rest. “Stay together,” Echo orders, “flares at three corners.”

You listen, moving to the left corner as Murphy goes to right with his own flare. You feel Bellamy’s hand fall on your lower back as he guides you forward, you ducking in response, keeping your hand held high.

You continue to run for a while, before Shaw calls; “here, it’s here!” Your split second of hope is lost the minute Shaw is hit by some sort of shield of electrocution. The rest of you halt to a stop, watching as Shaw falls to the ground, shaking in response to the electric shock. As your gaze rises, you realize it’s some sort of radiation barrier.

Just then, your flare dies out and you’re quick to reach into your pack, grabbing another one and lighting it without hesitation.

“Shaw, get out of there!”

“It’s killing him, get him out!”

“It’s radiation,” you hear Clarke mumble to herself from beside you. “It won’t affect me.” Your eyes widen when she runs forward, lips parting.

“Clarke, no! Get back!”

It doesn’t effect her, just like she had said. She’s able to reach Shaw, pulling him past the barrier, effectively stopping the electrocution. “Hang on, Shaw!” She cries, “I got you.”

Your attention is pulled away the minute Murphy’s flare dies. “Stay back, guys. I’ve got three more flares.”

“Clarke!” Bellamy calls, “we’re running out of time here.”

You let out a huff when your last flare dies out, Murphy having no more either. You feel Bellamy grab you as the swarm begins to quite literally swarm around you. Your hands wave rapidly, desperately trying to swat the bugs away, hisses pouring from your lips. 

“Hurry!”

“Clarke, come on!”

“It’s down!” She bellows, catching your attention. “Come on!”

“Come on! Let’s go! Go, go, go!”

Without hesitation, you heed to Bellamy’s words, following along with the rest as you run past the barrier. The second you’re all in, Clarke moves to turn back on the barrier, instantly stopping the flies from entering any further, zapping a slue of them.

All falls silent as your gaze falls on Shaw, shaking from his laid position continuously gasping. As you take a step forward, Jackson runs past you, kneeling down next to him. Clarke remains crouched by his head, hands on his shoulders with wide eyes and parted lips of disbelief.

With great difficulty, Shaw forces the words; “earn this.”

As Jackson moves to inject Shaw with something, to help with the pain, Shaw halts him, grabbing him by the arm. “No, no,” he gasps, voice cracking. “Don’t waste it.”

You feel your eyes water, lips left parted in disbelief.

“Tell Raven she deserves happiness,” Shaw gasps. “She doesn’t think she does. But... she does.”

-

“Hey...”

Turning to Emori at her call, your eyes fall on the same thing she’s noticed. ALIE.

Shaking her head, Clarke’s brows furrow in confusion. “I--” Then, her face calms, and realization dawns on her. “Becca did the tech for Eligius,” she explains, your eyes widen in realization yourself.

“Right,” Bellamy nods. “Destroy the world, two hundred years later, they put you on a flag. See? Hope for us yet.”

Turning to follow after Bellamy, you let out a sigh before a loud bang catches your attention. Of course, your eyes fall on Murphy. “Hello?” He calls, “invaders from earth. Can we come in?”

“John,” Emori hisses, stepping forward. “Keep it down.”

“I don’t know why we’re knocking,” Murphy huffs, stepping away from the door to regroup with the rest of you. “Gone door to door, and no one’s here.”

Shaking your head, you frown. “We don’t know that yet.”

“These are people’s homes,” Bellamy reminds Murphy. “We’re not breaking in like thieves.”

“Bellamy’s right,” Clarke nods, “if we want to do better here, we can’t be just--”

Murphy doesn’t listen, as expected. In the midst of Clarke’s words, he raises his foot, kicking down the doors to one of the many homes. You let out a sigh as he does, shoulders falling with a shake of your head. You hadn’t really been expecting different, but, still. “Well, look at that,” Murphy grins. “This one’s unlocked.”

-

“And now you are free!”

“Oh my God...” You mumble, staring up at Murphy in disbelief.

“That was the river! This is the sea.”

Turning to Echo, you shake your head. “Hearing Murphy is not something I ever wanted.”

Echo laughs at your comment, crossing her arms over her chest as she turns her head back up to Murphy.

“Raven, come in.” Blinking, you turned your head towards Bellamy whose sat on the swing next to you, eyes flickering to the radio in his hand. “You read me?” The only thing Bellamy receives in response is static.

“So,” you say after a moment, meeting Bellamy’s gaze. “Any guesses where all the people went? This place is too well-maintained to be abandoned.”

“Maybe,” Bellamy sighs. “But if they are gone, then there’s enough room here for everybody on the ship.” Meeting your eyes, your lips part at his next words. “We could finally settle down... like we talked about.

Biting your lip, you nod, lowering your gaze. “Yeah, that’s true.”

-

“Y/N, Echo, come here.”

Turning to Bellamy, you listen to him, pushing yourself up to your feet as you fall next to Echo, stepping towards Bellamy. Once you’re there, Bellamy turns to Clarke and you notice the book in his hands, brows furrowing. “Clarke,” he begins, “did you read this?”

Shaking her head, Clarke shrugs; “no.”

“Okay,” Bellamy mumbles, opening the book up. You watch on with bewilderment, frowning as you cross your arms over your chest. “‘Trees and plants give us shade. We need them every day’.” Flipping the page, he continues, moving the book over to Clarke. “‘When the stars align and the forest wakes, it’s time to run away’.”

You pause, unsure.

Clarke continues to flip through the pages, shaking her head; “it’s not a nursery rhyme,” she deciphers. “It’s a warning.”

“No! No!”

Blinking, your attention is pulled to Murphy, watching as he jumps up to his feet, face contorting in anger. When you turn to glance in the direction he’s looking, your eyes widen at the sight of your ship flying away, without you.

“They’re stealing-- They’re stealing our ship!”

However, you can’t dwell on it for too long before you hear a scream come from Emori. Whipping your head around, nothing can explain the sight you see. Emori races towards Murphy, swiping at him with the knife in her hand. Your lips part in disbelief when she manages to get him, stabbing Murphy directly in the shoulder. “I won’t let you kill me!”

“Stop, Emori! What are you doing!”

“Emori, no!”

“You’re gonna kill him!”

Instantly, you and everyone else is running forwards. You fall to your knees in front of Murphy, taking him into your arms as you pull him into your lap. Murphy lets out a cry in response, curling into you, and your eyes flicker from the bleeding wound on his shoulder to Bellamy who stares back at you with just as much confusion and disbelief.

“Emori,” Echo screams, “calm down!”

“He’ll do it to you too,” Emori screeches, fighting at the arms that hold her back. “He’ll do it to you, too! Aagh! No!”

“Emori--”

“Aah! Aaah!”

“It’s okay,” you mumble down to Murphy, your voice soft compared to the chaos that rages on. Biting your lip, you meet Jackson’s eyes briefly whose applying pressure to Murphy’s wound as he continues to huddle into you, before raising your head, finding Clarke’s gaze.

“It’s in the air.”

-

Part 37?

Let me know what you thought!

#The 100 #The 100 imagine #The 100 x reader #The 100 series #series #FTC #Feigning The Connection #Bellamy #Bellamy Blake #Bellamy Blake imagine #Bellamy Blake x reader #Bellamy imagine #Bellamy x reader #Bob Morley #Bob Morley imagine #Bob Morley x reader #imagine #imagines #my fics

[koyurim]

prison playbook 13-16 (fin)

our story ends with too much time spent on je-hyuk and not enough time on all the other side characters that make this show worth watching

the ending of our show felt very lacking and formulaic. i felt like i had seen all the hurdles that they kept on trying to throw at je-hyuk. i knew that he was going to have some trick up his sleeve to get out of it (usually by taking advantage of his connections and social power). and then his 12 months were up! it was never a matter of if and how je-hyuk would find his way back to baseball, but what they’d stuff in the middle to fill the time until he got there. 

i’ve been thinking about why je-hyuk didn’t work as a main lead for me. ultimately, it comes down to the fact that there is no nuance given to his character by the show or by those around him. je-hyuk does really atrocious things, he killed someone and that landed him in prison and he’s tried to beat multiple people up while in prison. now, was there a reason for each of his actions? yes, but just because an action makes sense doesn’t excuse it. the show never allowed for je-hyuk to show any remorse for the hurt that he inflicted. he was always righteous about his violence, and the prisoners and guards in the show always indulged him. there was never any reconciliation that a person isn’t just ‘good.’ if the show had been about je-hyuk navigating his guilt about the harm he’d inflicted while acknowledging the fact that he felt driven to take such actions, i feel like this would’ve been a very different show. 

the characters around je-hyuk also fell really flat for me. i didn’t understand why ji-ho was so important to him, nor did i necessarily understand what drove their reconciliation. did je-hyuk address any of the issues that led ji-ho to break up with him in the first place? i didnt really see that. his friendship with joon-ho also felt poorly done, but ive already harped on this many times. i’m just baffled that a show writer and pd team that ive trusted has fallen so flat on the emotional front for me with our leads. 

as for the supporting cast, i would give my heart to them all. i really wish that we had gotten just the last few eps of them together, and even maybe seeing each other in the ‘free world.’ looney’s story was probably the most heartbreaking. i was so distraught that he got set up immediately upon his release. looney should’ve never been in a prison in the first place and the fact that the officers took advantage of him just to arrest him again was really upsetting. and for what, is looney a big target? he’s already served his time? it was sadly probably just to get arrest numbers. i really hope he’s okay wherever he is. 

min-chul’s always been so lonely, i was really grateful the show gave him a family to welcome him when he was released into the world. i think his story shows that the creators of the show believe a person can be ‘reformed’ and it can happen in a prison lol. 

i wish that we had gotten to see captain yoo’s release but know that wasn’t in the time frame of je-hyuk’s story. 

anyway, even corney was a more endearing character to me than je-hyuk! i feel like this show had so much potential but winded up being a ‘cutesy prison propaganda’ *alas*

#prison playbook #kdrama #i can finally wipe my hands clean of this show lol

[kellys-book-corner]

Title: Lost Boy: The True Story of Captain Hook by Christina Henry

Prompt: 1) Defence Against the Dark Arts: Read a book set by the sea or a coast

Page Count: 310 Pages 📚

Rating: 3.5 Stars ⭐

Synopsis: There is one version of my story that everyone knows. And then there is the truth. This is how it happened. How I went from being Peter Pan’s first—and favorite—lost boy to his greatest enemy.

Peter brought me to his island because there were no rules and no grownups to make us mind. He brought boys from the Other Place to join in the fun, but Peter's idea of fun is sharper than a pirate’s sword. Because it’s never been all fun and games on the island. Our neighbors are pirates and monsters. Our toys are knife and stick and rock—the kinds of playthings that bite.

Peter promised we would all be young and happy forever.

---

"Was this, too, part of growing up? Was it facing the bad things you'd done as well as the good, and knowing all your mistakes had consequences?"

---

So, I should probably make a confession here. I have never liked the story of Peter Pan. It's my least favourite Disney movie, and I always thought that Peter himself as a character was no good. Always. Ive seen many an adaptation, and I've enjoyed some of them (Hook and a local play I went to this Christmas that was truly wonderful), so it was oddly refreshing to see a take on this story that let Peter be the bad guy; a twisted version of a fantastical tale, flipping the story that we're all familiar with on its head. And this is something that Christina Henry does well, and I'm very excited to read her other works.

However, I wish that it'd been darker. I know, for those who have read it, this book gets dark. Does it get darker than manipulation, child kidnap and murder and emotional and physical torture? Probably not, but that wasn't necessarily what I needed to be darker; not what physically happens to our main character Jamie, but the emotions that come from them. He seems to walk the line between logical and emotional and I felt a disconnect from him as a character because of it. Let him be angry, let him be furious, let him be scared and frustrated and lonely and feel hopeless and lost. It just never quite pushed it far enough for me as the reader, but Jamie goes on to grow as a character and I think it's done rather well, its just missing that little connection there for me to really root for him.

Another issue I had with this book where the side characters, Charlie and Sal. I get that Charlie was too young and he can't do things the way that the other boys can, and the point of his character is to be the first crack in the relationship between Jamie and Peter, but man he got on my nerves after awhile. He felt more like a plot device then a well rounded character. Truly, truly irritated me, and I felt that Sal had no point inside this narrative at all? Also, Tinkerbell was massively underused, I honestly feel like this would have been the perfect story to put in a mischievous, back stabbing fairy and it felt like a missed opportunity.

I read this book in about two days and I really enjoyed it, it was an incredibly engaging read with great plot points, an overall narrative and a great take on the manipulative Peter that shows him in his true colours. It just missed the mark for me as it didn't punch me in the feels, but I have all her other works on my wishlist on Amazon, and I hope to get to them soon.

#lost boy #peter pan retelling #book review #owls magical readathon #defence against the dark arts #harry potter #bookblr #book worm

[gogoakechi]

12 21 and 25 for the luv asks!

thank you damien you always come through for me

12. what would be your ideal date?

not like ive been Thinking about it or anything but it would be pretty Great and Nice to spend halloween together. we could go to my aunt and uncles, like i do every year, and walk through the neighborhood looking at all the decorations. i guess itd be kinda weird meeting my family but i always feel Lonely at family gatherings and wish i had someone to connect with beside me. itd be nice to just take a walk, existing in each others presence, and go on this chill adventure through probably one of the fucking Busiest neighborhoods in town. so many houses go absolutely wild and theres always a ton of people out. and then when were done being away from home we can go back to my place and watch a movie or trade candy or try some weird ritual or something. im a satanist so ive got Special Stuff i hope to do on halloween night so if they wanna sit in thats Very Cool but if not they dont have to stay for it. i guess its just my equivalent of wanting to spend christmas together.

21. what is your favorite quote or lyric about love?

okay so i wanna say Two ill do a quote and a lyric

bringing back a song i mentioned earlier, those rusty drums, these my favourite lyrics about love just from what i can remember at the moment:

“And the human heart is the hardest partThe softest spot for the sharpest dartBut nothing, and I mean nothing, willFeel as real as when it's filled”

and then my favourite quote, again, from what i can remember, Also comes from something i mentioned earlier. its a weird kind of romantic comedy called juno and ive seen it like 46 times:

“The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. The right person is still gonna think the sun shines out of you ass.”

juno has countless incredible and meaningful pieces of dialogue but that one gets me every time. ill admit the movie itself has some. Problems. but if youve ever got the time i highly recommend you watch it i Always cry

25. if you could date a celebrity, who would it be?

brian david gilbert it can only be brian david gilbert. have you seen him? have you listened to him? hes cute funny makes music and a little bit feral. celebrity crushes are weird and often bad but Dare I Say i have the vague hint of one. he is the love of my life. he is my ideal man. i know hes just another human being like any of us and what i experience of him is only his public presence but I Love You Brian David Gilbert.

(terepy the movie voice) LETS TALK ROMANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#thank you damien!! #asks #personal #damien #himboseph

[kylo-ren-writes]

Attraction, Epilogue

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, Epilogue

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

Warnings: uhhh, angsty I guess? Age gap, time jump.

Tag List: @beautifulbows924 @celestiaelisia @bluudhavens @majestic-sith-queen @kyloren-supreme-ben @samarantha @kirah34 @redhairedfeistynerd @drtiberiussith @hoe-for-daddywise @bisexualbitchbabe @hostofthefirenation @ayatimascd @fralackles @imyourdreamwife @kylos-sassy-cousin @blxkstar @thesquidni @kylosskywalkers @ymariejp @sassyspacepizza @the-illustrator-of-melodies @just-another-starwars-fangirl

A/N: well, everyone. This is the last part to this series. I’m so happy that I decided to rewrite it and that many of you enjoyed it. Thank you very much for reading it and I hope to write more series in the future! But for now, I hope you enjoy this last part, and do forgive me for taking a bit of time to write it! (Gif not mine!)

You sat on your small cot in your even smaller cell, with your legs crossed and your back against the wall.

A whole year. A whole year today, exactly. You did not keep track of the days that passed, only guessed... and got a hold of stormtroopers who you compelled to tell you the date upon asking.

It was almost a surprise that that much time had gone by already. But yet, at the same time, you weren’t surprised at all. The days spent in your little cell all blended together, so even though it was almost hard to believe, it also made sense.

Head tilted back against the cool, dirty wall, your eyes closed as the memory came back to you. It was a day that you held onto even though it had been painful, and still was painful to think about. But it was real, something more real than all the time you spent on the dark side and in the First Order. You were determined to think about it everyday so it would not fade. And so you wouldn’t forget a certain face, or rather, forget what a certain someone looked like.

The thought of forgetting the face of the man who’s name you did not bother to think about anymore was almost terrifying. It was a fear you had created inside your head, a fear that made you replay all the prominent features you could remember so clearly even a year later.

How could you forget him, anyway. He was more than unique, with his dark head of curls and waves, whose softness you could just barely feel on your finger tips. Light, pale skin that contrasted against his locks, almost making him look sickly with how it exaggerated the dark circles under his eyes.

It made you smile, remembering the tiredness always evident on his angular face, knowing that he never quite got enough sleep. And smiling even more when you remembered the sleep he had gotten with you that day when he had revealed it all to you and had become one with you.

You had a mark in the wall, near the end of your cot where you had estimated his height from what you had remembered later on, cause he was so very tall and that was not a detail you wanted to forget. Nor did you want to forget the muscle that added build to his body, evening out the otherwise scraggly look he would have had without it.

The way his strong arms wrapped around you, keeping you safe in his embrace, against his chest while he muttered how he was going to protect you from then on. If only he had known how much that wasn’t true.

But the features about him that you remembered most, those and others, like the golden brown shade of his eyes or the fullness of his pink mouth, was what kept the last memory of him that you forced yourself to remember, so vivid. That memory was certainly more preferred to the other one, the one that twisted you up inside.

After waking up from the long nap turned sleep that morning, you had woken up alone to a cold, empty bed. Kylo had not been there, you hadn’t felt him anywhere within his quarters. But that hadn’t initially alarmed you.

You had stayed in his large bed for a bit longer with your face pressed into his pillow, breathing in his clean scent and remembering what had happened between you many hours before.

Now that was another good memory, but only one that you saved for special nights that left you especially... lonely and sad.

After you were done with the ‘burying your face into his pillow’ and remembering, you had gotten out of his bed with a stretch of your limbs over your head and headed into his bathroom. The reflection you saw in the mirror above the sink looked like a different person. You had felt like a different person, a happier person. At least in that moment. It was the after part where you had changed out of his shirt and back into your own clothes so you could go back to your room and change, when things took a turn.

The minute you had walked out of his quarters after folding up his shirt nicely and leaving it on his bed, when you had been seized.

Three stormtroopers led by the one and only Kane, who you had barely seen much of over the last few weeks prior, and was even more surprised to see then, took hold of your arms tightly. One limb in each of their two while the third trooper stood behind with Kane and his annoying smirk standing in front of you.

You couldn’t remember much of Kane in your memory, or really much of the rest of this memory, but it still pained you regardless. You mostly remembered being taken away to a ship and Kane’s normal cruelness as the reality of what had been going on set into your brain. Kane didn’t need to explain it to you, although he did anyway because he wanted to, what was going on. You were being sent away.

That is exactly what had happened. You had been taken away to who knows where and kept in this little, dirty cell which had a regular rotation of troopers to make sure you stayed in.

It had been depressing, it was depressing, but you weren’t dead. Although, at times, you certainly wished you were.

The worst part of it all was the fact that you could not feel His presence through the force anymore. The minute Kane and his trio of stormtroopers had seized you, the connection and bond you had newly shared with him had severed. It had almost been a crippling feeling, a deep pain that had not ever gone away and at times felt linger strongly. At those times, you liked to entertain the idea that maybe it was Him trying to reach out for you through the force. It gave you comfort even though you knew it wasn’t true.

You missed him more than anything, but like most pain, it had lessened over time.

Now, even though you still made time to remember him, almost treating him as if he were dead because if you were honest, it felt like he was, you still tried to keep your mind busy in other ways.

You liked to read and gain knowledge, even though you did not need to learn anything anymore. Your lightsaber had been taken away by Kane and it wasn’t like you could really practice anything in your small space. But over the year, you had managed to acquire some old books from stormtroopers you had compelled, and read them. All of them you read more than five times at least.

Light exercise was another way you tried to keep your mind busy. Even though you couldn’t do much, you still tried to keep fit in what little ways that you could.

Then of course the two meals a day that you got and your sleep were the other ways in which you kept busy. Eating was a distraction and sleep was an escape. And when more time had passed during your time in the cell, the nightmares you had over it almost stopped. You barely had them anymore. It was mostly just deep, dreamless sleep. But you didn’t mind, not at all. Better than the alternative for sure.

Right now it was the time before breakfast when two stormtroopers switched places and another brought you your tray of food.

It was the time you reserved for remembering and for him, the time you allowed any and all thoughts to wander recklessly. It reminded you of meditation—something you rarely did now—with how deeply you fell into your thoughts. At times you wouldn’t leave your mind until you got taken out of it by a clanking from one of the troopers as he banged on your cell. At those times you were sure that it could have been meditation.

That didn’t happen today, however. You pulled yourself from your thoughts quite easily and tilted your chin back down as you opened up your eyes. You were done remembering for today, or at least the morning. It was time for breakfast anyway... or at least you thought it was.

You had gotten pretty accustomed to waking up at the same hour everyday and calculating the in between time of the shift changes of the troopers as well as breakfast, in your mind. A trooper had left but one had not come to take its place. It was odd but sometimes it did happen, so you kept your gaze on the opposite wall and waited. Your thoughts stayed empty, only counting the seconds up until five whole minutes passed. After that, you turned your head to the side, towards the door to your cell, and furrowed in your brows.

Why were the troopers late? They were often punctual and on time, and surely even your breakfast would have been delivered by now.

Pushing yourself up from your bed, you stood, a few feet away from your cell door. Nothing seemed to feel off, only quiet. Although you never really bothered to tap into your force abilities anymore. There wasn’t much of a point. But you couldn’t ignore the sudden feeling in your head that something was indeed off.

You listened carefully, to the quietness that filled your small space. Your cell was down a narrow hallway, so you could not see anything other than another cell opposite of you that was empty. But what you couldn’t see, you could hear, and you certainly were not hearing things when the abrupt sound of footfalls sounded out on the floor.

Your shoulders sagged and your expression relaxed, no longer confused nor concerned. It was the trooper taking the other troopers place. With that in your head, you returned back to sitting on top of your cot, your legs dangling over the edge of it and a book in your hands. You might as well read a bit while you wait for breakfast.

That’s what you did. You read, ignoring the sound of the footfalls and not even noticing how differently they sounded to the traditional troopers. It wasn’t until the “trooper” was standing in front of your cell that your peripheral picked up on the darker attire of the person that you assumed had been a stormtrooper.

Fear picked up in your mind, your heart beat beating quickly. It had you frozen in place as you dared not move or even twitch an eye. A stranger was in front of your cell, something that was not customary. Something that was not protocol. But a voice inside of your head urged you to lift it, to look up at whoever was here, to see them. And so you did, and the sight of them made you drop your book onto the floor.

A dream, this had to be a dream... no, a nightmare. Only a nightmare could produce something so cruel and awful for you to see. Although what you could see wasn’t awful to look at, but it was painful.

Kylo Ren stood there, in front of your cell, dressed in different clothes from what you remembered and with different hair.

You couldn’t help your mouth from parting open and the stare you had on his face. Your expression a mixture of disbelief and horror. He looked the same yet different. His skin was still pale but it held a... scar? And his dark hair wasn’t as curled and styled as you remembered, rather more wavy and stuck to his head, framing that same angular face. That face that looked even more tired than what you remembered.

Kylo stared at you as you stared at him, mirroring the same expression as his eyes flitted over your face and body. You knew that you looked different, too. Thinner with longer hair, although you did not know what your face looked like, you hadn’t seen a mirror since that day. You imagined you had to have looked pretty much the same with only little differences. Just like him.

You seemed to stare at each other, taking each other in, as the minutes ticked by. But this time you weren’t counting the seconds. Somehow you managed to find your voice, and the first thing you could only manage to mutter was: “are you real?” It had been a strangled sounding sound, but they were words regardless.

“Are you?” Kylo croaked out in a reply, although his voice had sounded stronger and deeper. His. The sound brought instant tears to your eyes.

You nodded slowly then carefully stood back up from your cot, keeping your gaze on him as you willed your legs not to give out on you. Your head already felt like it was swimming.

“I... I’m r-real,” you stuttered out, a single tear managing to escape your eye and trail it’s way down your cheek, dripping off of your jaw onto your shirt.

Kylo was quiet, so quiet you feared that he really wasn’t real and that this was a nightmare after all. But then he turned his gaze towards the panel on the wall that could authorize your release by opening the door of the cell. You weren’t thinking of that, however, only of him and keeping your eyes on him as you barely kept yourself up on your feet. Your legs felt like jelly.

Your cell door opened seconds later and you still did not notice, until Kylo was suddenly moving closer as he rushed to you, everything feeling like it was moving in slow motion. One minute he was too far from you, the next you were scooped up into his arms, barely able to breathe with how those familiar, strong—stronger—arms engulfed you into a too tight embrace. That’s when you broke, allowing the tears to fall from your eyes as you frantically wrapped your arms around his neck, him lifting you off of the ground.

A sob broke out from your throat and Kylo quickly hushed you, pressing your face into his chest, underneath of his chin, as he held you up and against him. It had been so long since you had felt him against you, since those arms had embraced you, since you had heard his voice. You missed him even more than you knew.

“H-how... how...” you tried, but Kylo only hushed you again, pressing a hard kiss to the top of your head.

“I’m here, I’m real,” he assured. “I’m real. I’m real.”

You couldn’t help the relief you felt over his words and how reassured and soothed you felt by them. It was him, it was really him. Kylo was here and holding you now. “B-but how—“

“I killed Snoke,” Kylo cut you off. “I killed him, he’s gone, and I’m sorry it took so long for me to find you and get to you, but he’s gone. You’re safe.”

Safe. You were safe. Snoke was gone. Kylo killed him. Kylo killed Snoke.

It was a lot to process, but at the moment you couldn’t care less. Not with how Kylo was here with you now and you were in his arms. So you only nodded slowly and briefly, legs wrapping around his waist as you figured out how to move them again. You believed that if you clung onto him, that he couldn’t possibly disappear.

You could feel Kylo turn and him carry you, presumably out and away from your cell. You couldn’t even think about your books you were leaving behind, but those didn’t matter. Not at this time.

Kylo carried you down the hall and out of it, up a narrow set of stairs to the ground floor of the base you had been kept on. It was an old base belonging to the First Order that didn’t serve much purpose most days. But it was the planet that served the most value, as it offered many resources and allegiance to the First Order. The base was only a necessary aspect of it.

Stormtroopers he had brought along waited there for their new Supreme Leader, and the ones stationed there stood aside and out of the way.

You kept your arms firmly around his neck and your face pressed into his chest as you remained unaware of your surroundings or of what was happening. All you chose to focus on was Kylo and how he felt against you, so warm and hard, and comfortable. No, comforting.

Kylo quickly carried you out of the base and onto his command shuttle, the well trained stormtroopers following behind like the soldiers they were.

The crew didn’t need to be told to take off, and that’s how you realized that Kylo had carried you onto a ship. You felt the familiarity of taking off, something you hadn’t felt in a long time, and you finally pulled your face away from his chest. Just enough so you could glance and skim your eyes around the ship, and look up at him. He was seated on a bench with you on his lap.

One of your arms unwound itself from Kylo’s neck, and your hand rested on his jaw, making him look down at you.

By then your tears had dried and your sobbing had stopped. You still couldn’t believe that he was really here, but you were working on it. Like now, with how you were staring up at him. Up close you could see the moles and freckles that dotted his face, a detail that had somehow slipped your mind from your memories. You couldn’t help the frown that turned down the corners of your mouth slightly.

“What’s wrong?” Kylo asked immediately, hugging you closer to him.

“I forgot about the freckles and moles on your face,” you said softly, throat a little dry and hoarse from crying.

Kylo leaned his face down and rested his forehead against yours. “That’s alright.”

“No it’s not.” Your frown deepened. “I made sure that I wouldn’t forget you and what you looked like, but I forgot something so important.”

Kylo pulled his forehead away and replaced it with his lips. “It is alright,” he insisted. “You will never forget them now or anything about me, because this time there is nothing or no one that can possibly take you away from me.”

Your frown turned into a small smile. “You sound so sure.” He did, and it helped you relax, but you could not help but be skeptical.

“I am,” Kylo said confidently. He was right, no one could take you from him. “I’m the Supreme Leader now, I run the First Order.”

You were surprised, but you knew that you shouldn’t be. After all, he did kill Snoke. Your smile got a little bigger and you hugged him, arms wounding back around his neck. Kylo hugged you back, chin resting on your head.

“I will tell you everything, I promise,” he muttered. “But not now. We have so much time and right now I want to spend some of it holding you.”

You had to agree with him, but you didn’t respond, only snuggled into him to show him how much you agreed.

This time you felt the surety in his words. But unlike before, you had an overwhelming feeling that this time everything was going to be fine. You could live out your lives together. Kylo was going to be your master and train you again in the force. He was the ruler, he didn’t have anyone to tell him what to do. Not anymore.

Peeling your face back from his clothed chest, you looked up at him again as he raised a dark brow. You smiled, then lifted your head, pressing your lips against his in a soft kiss.

Kylo kissed you back, harder than you kissed him, but you didn’t mind. It was a kiss to make up for not kissing again since that day. It was a kiss that was nice and something you wanted to replicate and evolve on many, many times in the future. And you would.

For the first time in the life you could remember, the only life you knew of being here, in the First Order, you felt happy. It would have otherwise been a foreign word to you, but right now, it was the only appropriate word. Because you were happy, more than happy. And the cause of your happiness was Kylo.

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren imagines #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren x you #kylo x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo fanfiction #kylo #kylo fic #kylo x you #attraction fic #kylo ren star wars #star wars kylo ren #star wars imagine #star wars fan fiction

[castcharmperson]

Speed Trap: Part IV

[Start]

This is by far the longest chapter, coming in at just over 3k. Also the most warning heavy chapter, featuring offscreen violence, kidnapping, arson, and general danger.

It wasn’t his final con, Taako decided, but tonight was his final night. Late nights were always busy, lots of cash to be made, but that was also when real crime tended to happen. He’d been calling Ren so frequently, he was worried she was starting to suspect him. She still took him seriously, always sent back up that he’d watch drive by, but her tone was shifting. He’d hear a pen scratching as he talked, taking notes that he was pretty sure weren’t station protocol. Besides, being around actual criminals was skeeving him out- Taako was may be breaking the law but he wasn’t like them.

He wasn’t like Lup or Kravitz either though, a fact he tried to remind himself of as he took his final bribe for the evening. Whoever this guy was didn’t seem to learn his lesson, speeding off again the second Taako was done with him.

“Asshole.” He should maybe follow him again. He didn’t get a license number to call in- the street lamp was too far away and the sliver of the moon was barely casting a glow. But what would be the point? There wasn’t any more cash to get and the guy had paid a generous donation to the ‘officer spring baseball fund’. No one else was on the empty highway. A little speeding wouldn’t really hurt anyone.

He was already back in his own car, flipping off his flashing light, when he heard tires screech. Turning on his brights along the dark road, he drove ahead only a half mile before seeing the car he’d just pulled over wrecked against the sign of an abandoned Pizza Hut. “What the fuck?”

Taako wasn’t about to jump out of his car and rush in, but something about this whole thing was weird. No one was left at the sight of the crash. Weirder still, light was coming from inside the Pizza Hut. Even if the windows weren’t boarded up, it wouldn’t be open at this hour.

There was a scream, decidedly not belonging to the guy he’d pulled over, and that was too much for Taako to sit around waiting on. He grabbing his flashlight from where he’d tossed it onto the passenger seat, killed the engine on his car, and ran out.

Looking over the wreck showed signs of a struggle. He had to do a double take, but it looked like someone had clawed through the backseat from the trunk. Another scream and he focused on the Pizza Hut. “Fuck, I do not steal enough to deal with this kind of shit,” but Taako crept forward, lowering his center of gravity and keeping out of view from the broken down door.

“Cam, you’ve got to stop screaming or we’re really going to have a problem.”

“Get off me, you sadistic fuck!“ There was the sound of a slap, then of duct tape ripping. Taako peered up, seeing the man he’d pulled over tying up someone apparently named Cam.

“Now now, we had a deal. And then you went and crashed my car.” The man stalked around Cam, circling, as though this was his own personal stage instead of an empty fast food joint. As he turned, for a split second, Taako was terrified they had locked eyes. He dropped down, panting as he scrambled for his cell phone and dialed for Ren.

There were footsteps and Taako ended the call before it could connect. He dodged away from the building, rolling along the gravel as he switched off his flashlight.

“Fuck, I don’t have time for this,” the man sounded put upon, like someone brought rain to his barbecue rather than interrupted his kidnapping. “Lydia’s only a few blocks down, we can walk.”

There was some pretty intense scuffling sounds, but Taako didn’t let curiosity get the better of him. The door to the Pizza Hut was kicked open, and the man was leading Cam out with his hands tied behind his back.

“Listen, Edward, Eddie, come on. Our deal is still good. You don’t have to do this. I can get you anything you want. I’ve got connections, you know that, keeping me alive will bring you so many more-“

“If you don’t shut up,” this Edward guy was so terrifyingly calm. There was a quick movement and Taako caught the glint of a knife. “I will shut you up. Understood, dear?”

Cam nodded and the pair started walking through the grass away from the abandoned lot.

Taako was shaking, sitting behind the corner of the crumbling building, gravel digging into the pants of his stolen uniform. He should get in his car and go home. Get in his car and maybe call Ren. Tell her about suspicious activity by the neighborhood he knew was a few blocks in the direction Edward and Cam were walking. He should turn around and pretend he was never here.

That Cam guy was probably scum, talking about connections, probably worked with this Edward and Lydia duo before they got sick of him. Taako owed him nothing. Taako didn’t owe anyone anything! He should go home.

Instead, he stood, following the pair through the tall grass, hiding in the shadows cast around street lamps while they walked through a set of cookie cutter houses, stopping at one. Cam and Edward walked up the porch, and Taako ducked behind a bush to get out his phone. With one last glance back, he froze. Edward definitely saw him this time. He paused in the doorway after pushing Cam inside. His eyes narrowed, then gave Taako a smile that made his skin crawl. Edward placed a single finger to his lips, winked at him, then turned to go inside.

“I’m going to die,” Taako concluded as he sank back down. He didn’t hang up on Ren for the second time, but he got no signal while hiding in this shrub. “I’m literally going to die.”

There was shouting in the house, nothing Taako could understand, but there was the sound of a car starting. “Fuck,” he didn’t have much time. Scrambling away from the bush, he ran to the door. He didn’t even need to pick the lock, Edward had left it open. “Ohmygod, ohmygod I’m going to die,” he whispered even as he pushed the door open, grateful there weren’t any squeaky hinges, and made his way into the house. It was empty, a lone couch stood with a sheet over it, but there was nothing else.

Lup had taken him to a party in this neighborhood, only a few months ago. Something her boss was hosting or whatever. When they left the party, he and Lup walked around the block to her car and laughed at how every single house they passed was the same. That night had been been full of people and different furniture, but the bones were the same as this house. Taako traced along the wall next to the stairs until he found the breaker box. At the party, it had been covered by the ugliest painting he’d ever seen. The host tried to justify that it was covering the equally ugly metal door to the fuses. “It’d be less ugly if I was looking at the door, ma’am.” He’d said and Lup had to choke down a laugh before she slapped him on the arm and apologized to her boss.

It had been a fun night. He wondered if he and Kravitz had only just missed running into each other.

Taako forced himself to focus, flipping down the switch labelled ‘garage’ just as the telltale sound of a mechanical door started to rise. It stopped, then slammed against concrete. “Old house, old power. Next time we’re breaking and entering for real,” someone who sounded almost like Edward shouted. A door slammed and there were footsteps come towards him again.

“I thought I was pretty clear. Keep quiet about this and we wont have any trouble. This looks like trouble.” Edward still sounded so calm. Taako didn’t think twice before slamming all the fuses, plunging the house into darkness. “Now that wasn’t very nice.”

Taako sprinted for the front door and slammed it behind him. Phone in hand, he tried calling the station again as he ran along the side of the house, ducking below the windows. When the line went through, he could have sobbed. “Ren, oh thank god, get Lup to Mirkwood Court in-“

“Who is this! You think I didn’t see you try to get a call in tonight? Think I haven’t listen to you fake an accent every other week? We do not encourage vigilantism in this city!”

“Ren, listen-“

“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?”

“Ren please! I need Lup-“

“I am going to track your number and-“ Whatever rant she was gearing up for stopped. “Sir, are you okay?”

“No! Ren, there is a hostage situation at 51 Mirkwood Court in Winter county. Please get Lup down here now!”

She sucked in a breath, sound crackling through the phone, drawing whatever dreadful conclusion as to how a civilian could know of a kidnapping. “Sir, please stay on the line, we’re sending someone to you right now.”

“It better be fucking Lup,” he hissed, scrambling around the back of the house as he heard the footsteps crunching on the dewy grass.

“She’s out of the office right now, but-“

“Then whoever you’re sending should pray they’re half as good as she is!”

“Sir, stay on the li-“ But Taako had already hung up. Any more sound and he was going to get caught. He looked back, expecting Edward to be towering over him. Instead, nothing. Then all the lights in the house turned on at the same time.

“We might as well close up here,” Edward said. Fuck, he sounded bored. Was chasing a potential witness not important enough to him? What was wrong with this guy? Taako crouched under one of the windows, watching as a woman of Edward’s height dragged Cam into the living room.

“You wanna do it?” She must be Lydia, Taako concluded, as she brought out a much larger knife.

“Oh no, I got to grab him, you can have this part.” They grinned at each other and there was something sickening about their joy right now. Footsteps clacked closer to the window and Taako dropped down again. “But make it quick, we’re going to have company soon.”

Taako’s hand was over his mouth, trying not to breathe too hard, trying not to sob, not to throw up. What the hell did he care what happened to this Cam guy? He called the cops, did all he could do. Why was he still here?

There was a swish, a slick sound, and a muffled scream that felt like it went on forever. Taako was definitely going to puke if he didn’t move right. now.

He should have ran around the back, ran to his car by the Pizza Hut, and gone home. Instead, he was at the front door again and he kicked it open. “This is the Neverwinter Police! Put your hands up!” He dropped his voice, brandishing his flashlight in a strobe, trying to give the illusion of having a weapon ready.

“Ruining all our fun,” Edward sighed, voice carrying through the house. “Lyd, go, I’ve got this.”

“What about Cam?”

“Oh, well, you know how old houses are. So easy to get lost in.”

There was shuffling, doors slamming, and Taako tried to make himself move forward into the house. Lights flashed behind him, red and blue, and he pushed in further. If he could get through the kitchen, maybe find this Cam guy on the way, and avoid Edward, there was a back door he could-

Car tires screeched and something crashed. Taako jumped, whipping around in a frenzy before realizing the bang was only something that fell over further into the house. Lydia was driving away, it sounded like one of the cop cars was following her, but Taako needed to focus on finding whatever made that noise.

“You know,” Edward started and Taako whipped around again. Fuck, where was he? “These old houses, just the worst electricity. Cheap wiring, so prone to…” A match sizzled and struck. “Bad luck.”

Whatever Edward had been hoping for, this blaze wasn’t it. Taako saw the flames start up from the breaker box, but there was no grand explosion, no dangerous wildfire. The sparks were enough though, the flames were spreading to the floor and smoke filling the room.

“Help!” Another bang, from a closet down the hall to Taako’s right, the opposite way of the kitchen.

“You’ve got to make a choice,” Edward said, and god, he sounded so close, but this time Taako refused to turn around. Fear or foolish bravery, he wasn’t sure which kept him in place, but as the fire crackled louder, he tried to listen for footsteps. “Save yourself, or save Cam. I’ve dumped enough gasoline to burn him alive in ten minutes. However, you wont get out before the real police come in if you don’t forsake him.”

There was a bullhorn outside, one of the officers demanding that hostages be released, that folks come out with their hands up and “We’ll talk about all this, calmly, like rational people!”

Nothing about this guy was ration, Taako knew that. Then again, it wasn’t like he was coming out the front of this house any time soon either. “And you think you’re getting out in time?” If Taako could just hear those stupid footsteps…

“So witty. So brave. Honestly, I’m impressed. If you ever want to quit this fake cop thing, definitely give us a call.”

“How did you-“

“Oh dear, you’re dreadfully unconvincing. Now tick-tock.” A single snap of heel on tile and Taako whipped around, smashing the side of his flashlight against something he really hoped was Edward.

“How convincing was that, dear.” Taako sneered, only enjoying his victory for a moment before more footsteps echoed in over the smoke.

“This is the Neverwinter Police! We gave you a warning, now I need everyone to put their hands- Oh shit, is that a fire?” There was a crackling of a radio as Kravitz called for backup.

Wait, Kravitz was here? Taako could recognize that voice in his sleep, but he would give anything to have misheard.

“Fuck,” Taako whispered. He scrambled back, down the hall, throwing open a closet door as Cam tumbled onto him. “Get the hell out of here and if I ever catch you with those assholes again, I am not rescuing you.”

“Yes officer! Thank you officer!” Cam was practically tripping over his feet, pushing past Taako to run for the back door. He was clutching his hand, blood staining the front of his shirt, and Taako felt sick all over again.

“Officer?” Kravitz turned down the hall and even through the smoke, they could see each other clearly. “T-Taako?”

“Uh, nope. I’m a smoke induced hallucination. You really should get out here, my man. Old houses like this don’t last long under this kind of heat.”

“You’re- you’re not a police officer. You’re a pastry chef and a retail manager.”

“Okay, I specialize in pastries, but I cook other stuff too. Really, Krav, hun, not the time for semantics.” Taako tried to walk past him, tried to get Kravitz to move out of this house. He could hear the beams on the second floor start to creak as they caught fire. “Come on.”

“Why are you wearing a police uniform?”

“Kravitz, this isn’t the- fuck!”

The smart thing to do would have been letting Edward attack. He was behind Kravitz, Kravitz wasn’t paying attention, it would have been an easy escape for Taako. No matter how handsome the officer was, a pretty face wasn’t worth going to jail for, or getting caught in a house fire during a botched kidnapping. Maybe it was more than the pretty face, but Taako was not about to let Kravitz get stabbed. So, like an idiot, he barrelled forward, tackling Edward to the ground.

Kravitz joined the scuffle, but that only succeeded in getting the knife away from Edward. The smoke was thick above them, all the lights of the house flickering in a strange strobe. Taako thought he had the upper hand for a moment. Then he was shoved onto his back. Looking up, he expected death, but it was Kravitz holding him down.

“Tell me you are not working with the Wendor twins!” He shouted, eyes wide like Taako had betrayed him. They’d only just met, what was there to betray?

“The who twins? Look, I’m all for you being strong on top, but he’s getting away!” Taako barely started to struggle when Kravitz released him.

“You’re not working with him.”

“No! I stopped him from killing that other guy. Fuck, who you didn’t see but there was another guy that they took and- whatever! We’ll deal with the details later.” Taako ran down the hall, back into the main living room. He was wheezing, air unbreathable, but Edward was just as affected, swaying as he tried to move to the door, before realizing that’s where the police were and circling back, only to be faced with Taako and Kravitz again. Well, if the blow to the head didn’t knock him out, a concussion was just as good.

Without turning away from their target, Taako moved his hand towards Kravitz. “Gimme your handcuffs.”

“What? No.”

“Krav, trust me,” Taako was already moving forward, keeping Edward’s attention as they circled around the single couch.

“You have done literally nothing to earn my trust.” And yet, the handcuffs flew through the air for Taako to catch.

He lunged at Edward, taking him over the back of the couch. He was hardly successful in keeping him down, but the struggle was enough to get one handcuff on. Edward grabbed Taako’s leg as he scrambled to stand, to get some sort of leverage, and the pain felt impossibly sharp. Another knife? Or was this guy part time Wolverine? Either way, Taako fell back to the ground and Edward rose.

It was distraction enough, and Kravitz secured the remaining cuff. That only slowed Edward. He kept advancing as Taako scrambled backwards until his back hit the wall. A beam above them creaked, a suspended moment in which everyone in the house looked up. Edward stumbled backwards into Kravitz’s grip as the beam fell, bringing a firestorm with it.

“You got him?” Taako asked, forcing himself to his feet. His leg burned, and the stray embers landing on his pants were not helping.

“I got him. Are you okay?”

“Yeah I-” He coughed, bracing a hand against the wall before jerking it back. The heat was unbelievable. This house was not going to stand much longer. “Get out of here! I’ll go out the back.”

Kravitz frowned, but started dragging Edward to the front. Then he paused, and Taako was ready to scream. Why wouldn’t this idiot save himself? “You can’t wear an officer’s uniform. We need to handle this situation.”

“For the love of,” Taako stopped his staggering towards the kitchen. Lit by the eerie orange strobe, Kravitz looked divine. Not the time to appreciate the view, though. “You can handle me all out want later! How about we get out of the burning building first, huh?”

If Kravitz said something more to him, Taako didn’t hear. He turned and limped faster, as more of the second floor collapsed into the living room. Once he was out the back, his leg felt slightly less terrible and he pushed himself to a run. Kravitz would tell the other officers on the scene that there was another criminal escaping and Taako was not about to get caught.

He made it to his car, collapsing into the seat and locking the door. No officers chasing him, no kidnappers to chase. His leg still burned, but he could deal with that once he caught his breath. Taako waited another hour, dressing his leg with the rudimentary first aid kit he kept in the glovebox. No squad cars came his way. However, Edward’s wrecked car sat in front him the entire time. It was just a hunk of scrap metal now, but it felt like it was mocking him.

[Part Three] [Part Five]

Thanks for reading! The hardest part of this chapter was trying to make up a last name for the wonderland twins...

#taz #The Adventure Zone #taakitz #taz taako #taz kravitz #taz wonderland #au #speed trap au #so like. when i was rereading this taako almost feels ooc. cuz this is not a 'good out here' kind of chapter #but i think he's also the kind of guy to say 'fuck it im already dealing with this shit might as well deal with it right' #should i give a warning for cursing? cuz there are soo many f-bombs in this chapter #charmedwords

[postmoderns]

do you know any films that evoke the same feeling as melodrama by lorde ?

i thought i was just gonna make a list but i got so carried away thank you for this i did not know this was something i could not shut the fuck up about. these are the films that make me unashamed to feel and love too much, which is the biggest mood i get from melodrama: experiencing life more vividly in heartbreak and self-discovery. 

Green Light- In The Mood For Love (2000) Dir. Wong Kar Wai

For me this song is about being unable to move on. knowing that you need to move on, but that fantasy of love and “what if” pains you. This is why I feel like this song could be sung by either of the main characters in wong kar wai’s in the mood for love. theyre lonely, finding codependence and company when they find out their spouses are cheating on them with each other. they act out a fantasy where they play each other’s spouses, acting out scenes and trying to figure out where it went wrong. and unknowingly, they fall in love. but what is real and what is theater? Its one of my favorite films of all time. and the amazing cinematography and vivid colors feel incredibly Melodrama. They can only speak in code. It’s sultry and missed connections and unrequited love. its the definition of this album i think.

Sober- The Doom Generation (1995) Dir. Gregg Araki 

Jack and Jill got fucked up and possessive/ When they get dark… All the gun fights/ And the lime lights/ And the holy sick divine nights/ They’ll talk about us, all the lovers/ How we kiss and kill each other… alright gregg araki is a strange shock value experience and this is definitely his most heterosexual film but who does teenage wasteland better than him honestly. sex, violence, whatever. three teenagers. theyre driving. they keep accidentally killing people. they make out. people die. but its not your average transgressive film i dont think. (disclaimer i dont watch a ton of them so i could be wrong) 

Homemade Dynamite- American Honey (2016) Dir. Andrea Arnold 

Our rules, our dreams, we’re blind/ Blowing shit up with homemade d-d-d-dynamite/ Our friends, our drinks, we get inspired… If you haven’t seen this already, its about a group of young people with nowhere to go and their camaraderie, and their survival despite people who have hurt them. living unapologetically despite (something) is what i think this song is.

The Louvre- Heartbeats (2010) Dir. Xavier Dolan 

I am your sweetheart psychopathic crush/ Drink up your movements, still I can’t get enough/Blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you… these are stories about desire and longing for someone unattainable. and being unable to stop wanting because its addictive. its about a two friends who fall for the same guy and both pursue him to the detriment of their friendship. xavier dolan does the pop music slow-motion painfully alone mood well. Its also about being unashamed of how much love you feel i think. 

Liability- Moonlight (2016) Dir. Barry Jenkins

They say, “You’re a little much for me/ You’re a liability/ You’re a little much for me”… Moonlight is so many things but a big part of Chiron’s character and life is how his past has made him who he is, and how he becomes reserved to the people around him as a result. i guess thats how he copes with coming of age, retreating inside himself with quiet strength. that movie wrecked me ive only seen it once and im scared to see it again. its perfect. 

Hard Feelings/Loveless- 35 Shots of Rum (2008) Dir. Claire Denis

I’m at Jungle City, it’s late and this song is for you.. God, I wish I believed you when you told me this was my home… I’ll start letting go of little things ‘til I’m so far away from you.. So this film is about people just living their lives. its quietly brilliant and very claire denis. paris at night. people dealing with any and all kinds of loss and living their lives so close to each other. The sounds especially at the end of this song remind me of train tunnels, turns, braking. shes a widowed conductor. the idea is that shes always moving and running away but not quite. but life quietly goes on. 

Writer In The Dark- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) Dir. Michel Gondry

I am my mother’s child, I’ll love you 'til my breathing stops/ I’ll love you 'til you call the cops on me/ But in our darkest hours, I stumbled on a secret power/ I’ll find a way to be without you, babe… so in this film, theyre forced to be without each other. not only that but to wipe their minds of their lover completely, afraid of how much love affects them. i think once this film is done with you and youve cried your eyes out you get that same resolution: that this thing or person that you once thought you needed in order to live, you can find some way to continue without it. and if its fading, to enjoy it in the present, or, whatever feels like the present. 

Supercut- Lady Bird (2017) Dir. Greta Gerwig

Cause in my head, in my head, I do everything right/ When you call I’ll forgive and not fight/ All the moments I play in the dark/ Wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart… lady bird is told like a dream, the way the scenes blend together like memory. the whole thing feels like its fleeting. in lady bird’s head, this is right. no matter what happens or who she accidentally hurts or what her future is, its going to be okay. This is a song about homecoming i think. not to a place or a person but to yourself and the memories of a love once had- and to cherish those memories, come home to my heart

Perfect Places- Daisies (1966) Dir. Vera Chytilova

All the nights spent off our faces/ Trying to find these perfect places/ What the fuck are perfect places anyway?.. This is a film simply about two teenage girls who desire and consume, unashamed. Its wild and sporadic and playful in style and makes very little sense but its so fun. I think its the movie playing in the head of the speaker of the song. shes ashamed but she doesnt want to be. the perfect place is one where she will be unashamed. 

#sorry for being fake deep i just love this #lorde #melodrama #films #lady bird #xavier dolan #Anonymous

[commanderpacis]

Okay, look. I may or may not have spent like several hours yesterday piecing together some of the Forsaken lore that got put on Ishtar Collective recently, finding the closest approximate order that ten entries in particular were in, and formatted it in my notes to essentially create a short story.

Honestly though, I’m actually a little proud of how it came out and fairly confident I figured out the order. If I wasn’t already excited for Forsaken and beyond, I am now.

Spoilers beyond the break.

Also, hello Destiny fandom, welcome to my mess of a first post!

A Renegade's Observations of a Drifter

I. Uneasy Feeling

I've followed him for a short while now. Tracked his path since he turned up on mine.

He's not like them, but not far off—hard to trust, hard to know. He's seen more than most can imagine and done things most wouldn't dare. But he's always kept his distance —stayed far from the Light.

Why head City-side now? Why risk antagonizing those best equipped to cut his journey short? Can't quite say. I get the sense he's on the run, but from what? From who? There are Shadows in his past. Do they linger? Do they hunt?

Or is his desperation driven by other... concerns?

All I've seen, all I've uncovered—of him, of his long, winding road—says he's made enemies at just about every turn. Over centuries, that list grew real long. He's been comfortable on the dodge out beyond the Reef—ever-moving, ever-exploring, never concerned with the dangers riding his wake.

So, again... Why now? Why here? What's his play? More important...

What's his game?

II. Justified Means

The Drifter wasn't always my target.

In fact, he only came to my attention when he started running with them I'd call prey.

Before that he'd existed only as rumor—the strange Lightbearer who journeyed beyond the system's edge, the lone wanderer who was only a “Guardian” by reductive modern definitions. He had a Ghost. He was touched by the Light. His motivations, though, were his own—some might say selfish, and I'd have to agree. In regard to the concepts of duty and devotion and using one's gifts for the betterment of humanity? Not his play. The City be damned. The Traveler be damned. The Light be damned.

Which makes his run to the Tower and his newfound benevolence all the more... curious.

I lost track of him when the Traveler fell silent. Could be that severed connection drew him back. If so, I doubt it's something he'd admit. Yet here he is—unwelcome, but with a gift for persuasion. I can't say it doesn't make me uneasy.

There was—so we're clear—a time I'd call him a threat. There was a time I'd look to end him as punishment for the paths he'd tread. But things aren't quite so simple these days. Ghaul taught us that. And while I still plan to punish those who have transgressed, I can also see the value in certain... risks.

This Gambit—the Drifter's strange little game—may just be one such.

It requires care and a keen eye to ensure the means don't consume the ends, but I got a feeling our new 'friend' might be a necessary catalyst. And, if not...

He sure makes for a fine cut of bait.

III. Step into the Shade

I want to be clear: I do not trust him.

You get the sense he's working to mend that, sure, but the end game will reveal the truth of his intentions.

This con is a long one, friend, but if any are built to see it done—and see it done right—the Drifter is our man. So, we see it play out—his Gambit and ours. It may not be ideal. In fact, I'd say far from. It's just that...

I don't see another way forward. The Light is fragile but quick. The Dark, dense and slow. If we want to control the balance, tip it in our favor... if we want to confront those shadows who would see it shift further toward the night... we must play in the gray in-between. We must draw them out.

Many have fallen to this path. It's not one I tread lightly, but I've found the only way to best a shadow is meet it in the shade.

The Vanguard won't allow it—they're noble, but they're flawed. Frightened. Most Guardians wouldn't dare it—too many legends of heroes lost to such unpleasant pursuits.

But things have changed...

The Oryx slayers and their like have danced within Ascendant Realms. The nightmare legends of bonewalkers and nether worlds have been cast into the Light. Old fears are now trampled beneath enduring triumph. Now, if ever, is the time to step proud into the unknown and bathe it in our Light.

And if doing so draws the attention of enemies old and new... if we tempt damnation... so be it. We will stand ever vigilant and burn them all away.

Or maybe the Drifter pulls a double-cross and our end is met. No way of knowing. No way to tell.

I say we let it ride. Trust ourselves. Trust our instincts—our Light.

IV. Artifacts and Old Friends

By chance, he and I crossed paths in a... neutral setting. Didn't give me his name, just called himself a drifter. Told him if that's how it was, he could call me “Pal.” He laughed at that, got comfortable. Got all kinds of open about where he'd been, what he was haulin'. Even dropped a tip on where an old friend of mine was hiding. I still wonder if he knows who I really am.

He told me he left the system as soon as he was risen. Not immediately, sure. Had to get his bearings, find a ship—get it fit, get it flying. But soon as, he was good as gone. “Drawn to the outer,” he says. I can appreciate.

He says he's seen the deep side of Jupiter. Been to the Core Mines of Saturn. Name drops old myths no one's heard—the Luvial Crux, the Shift Chasms Below Elios, the Fourth Tomb of Nezarec. Goes on about the Idols of Lower Sul, the Treasure of Exodus Prime, the Solar Engine of Dead Star-Six.

I think he's making most of it up, but he's got relics and etchings. He's got materials not of this system—odd metals, obsidian flames, thought engines, edible null cakes and a stuffed something that looks like a rabbit bio-fused with a cephalopod. He keeps all this stuff to himself—his “gets,” he calls 'em.

If they're for show, they put on a great one. But to what end? The clutter of oddities he's got ship-side ain't nothin' compared to what he's haulin'—that big, black mass of nothing you ain't ever seen before.

He calls it an “artifact,” but it's more than that. Just don't know what, exactly. He said he got far out as he's ever been. Said it was from a place cold enough to snuff out your Light. I ask him, was it Vex? Hive? Cagey as all, he said no, it was just “other,” and it was powerful... maybe.

That was his qualifier: “maybe.”

Why the hell bring it to the inner system then? “Maybes” are trouble. But he's got an answer for everything. He says...

“Brother... maybes are where the real treasure hides.”

He could tell I wasn't satisfied, but I knew he wasn't lying. The chunk was “other” for sure, and Ghost said its readings were off the charts, but abstract—unlike anything anyone had encountered.

Can't say that made me comfortable, but then the Drifter, with his easy manner and eager charm, asked if I'd ever met a man in black named Callum.

He was clearly changin' the subject, but he was lucky enough—or smart enough—to pick one I had interest in, and I could respect that.

V. Shadow on a Wall

I knew Callum by another name—a hated name.

The Drifter had run with Callum's crew for some time. I get the sense he would've been one and the same as them—lockstep down sorrow's road—if they'd met sooner.

Hell, maybe they WERE lockstep. Maybe his Gambit was theirs.

Maybe the bait set when the Drifter first came to the Tower was for me and mine. Maybe all we were playing at was our own end. But all that's not worth the effort to dwell on. A path's been set. Best to walk it. If the turn 'round that final bend leads to death, all we can do is return the favor.

Drifter told me Callum had a spot—a hold he used all his own. Said his crew been runnin' separate jobs to keep me off their trail. Said they knew one-to-one they'd have a hard time walking away, but rolling together only increased their footprint, made 'em easier to trail.

Made sense. With the six of 'em—Callum's crew, I mean—spread out, each runnin' their own search for whatever it is they're searching for, gave me crossed signals. I'd hear conflicting stories of their deeds from one end of the system to the next, and I had a hard time keepin' up.

But this info—Callum's safe space—it was a lead worth a look.

Two weeks into a living hell, I thought Drifter'd fed me a line, maybe tryin' to kill two birds, one stone. There were signs of a Shadow's presence, but they were cold—old. I waited anyway. Shot me some Taken to kill the time.

The wait paid off.

Callum entered. Could hear him before I saw him—he was arguin' with his Ghost. I waited on the hope they'd spill goods I could use to track the others. No such luck. Their words were heated. Callum had gone too far. His Ghost was angry. I don't blame her.

It caught me that she always used his proper name—Callum—and not his other. She still cared. Still hoped. Then she screamed.

I drew and stepped into the light.

Callum had his Ghost in his left hand. It was silent. With his right, he had stabbed her through the optics with a sickly dagger—a tool carved from the jagged spikes fired from a weapon I shall not name.

The Ghost was dead, and Callum just laughed. I think because he knew what came next.

He and I had words. Told me I'd never kill 'em all. Then he dropped the shell and went for his shooter.

I lit my fire and painted him on the wall without another word.

VI. Bright Side of a Bad Idea

At this point, the Drifter had me comfortable with the idea of him, but only just. Been a long time since trust came easy.

I still needed to understand. Needed to grasp what he was after or what was after him—survival depends on knowing what's coming best you can.

This is before I came to you—but only just. This is me smoothing out the rough angles before risking a proposition I know carries baggage.

Anyway. He and I went out, found a spot we could be alone, and he showed me. He showed me proof that all of his relics, artifacts, treasures, and junk weren't just for show —our shady friend actually went out and lassoed himself a little piece of hell.

While Guardians have been waging war with the Taken, while the City's newest legends have been trespassing on Ascendant ground and kicking in Taken skulls, the Drifter's been playing Warlock—which he ain't, if it wasn't clear. Not by common understanding, anyway. In drawing strength from curiosity and using knowledge to bend understanding to his will, this wily bastard has long since shed any pretensions of class or the limitations therein.

While you lot have been having your fun, drunk on loot, dancin' on the corpses of your enemies—he's been watching, learning, stealing, and planning.

Now, I make no promises that what he's done was ever intended for the greater good. Point of fact, I actively doubt it. But here we are.

He's kit-bashed Vex tech with Fallen components, married it to Hive magic, and scavenged Golden Age science with a sprinkling of who knows what, and he's...

Hold up. I know this sounds bad. Sounds like just the kind of trouble we squash, but...

He's secured a pocket of the Ascendant plane. Not a throne world, nothing that grand, but a big enough chunk to matter—and he's gone and caged an army. A Taken army. Leftovers from Oryx's reign? Something new? Something old? Something... Hers? Can't say. Don't know. But he has 'em there. He says it's to hold 'em, study 'em—but the best bet says his intentions aren't so clean.

Purity of intent aside, this is what he wanted to show me. This is why he's here—his Gambit. He wants to help humanity—help us poor fools who call ourselves Guardians— learn how to control not only the Taken... but the powers that bind them.

Sounds like a bad idea, I agree.

Bigger picture? Sometimes bad ideas are the best option. Hell...

Sometimes they're the only.

VII. The Price of a Double-Sided Coin

Here's the play. Ours, I mean...

You have places. Cleared zones. Not necessarily the safest spots, but not wholly untamed. I say we... you... allow the Drifter to run his game. And let's you and me watch.

We watch the action. We watch him. We watch who plays and who doesn't. On top of that, we watch their aggression—who's diving too deep, too fast, who's less keen to grow their knowledge, their strength. And who's simply lookin' to unleash themselves.

The true promise of this Gambit is what you and I can learn. About our enemies. Maybe even about ourselves. That has to be first and foremost. After that, we assess Gambit's value and its risks. If the danger escalates, we shut it down. If any Guardians go too far, we shut it down—and them, if need be.

My gut says we won't have to. My gut says, against everything I was raised to believe, this is our next step forward.

And here's the rub: You know this, but only fair that I reiterate. As secret as this whole mess is, and as vigilant as we'll need to be... word must spread. It must. And when it does, I need you to corral Zavala and any others who won't understand.

'Cuz the other side of that jade coin is the trap being set—this long con—the final bend after a long haul. If Drifter plays his part—and I believe he will—then those who test the edges of the Light will hear tell and come a'callin'. The Shadows brought to Light.

But the ruse must be complete. Every Guardian must play their part. If you can buy in—if you can see the value in what's to come—then we roll. If not...

You can stop this here and now. I'll put a bullet in him, be done with it.

Just say the word.

VIII. Checking the Chamber

Your 'Jacks sure can clear a table. Combat area's clean. We're prepped and ready—set for the first run on Nessus.

The Drifter'll pick up your Guardians en route. Have your 'Jacks primed to engage if—when—it all goes wrong. Not saying I have doubts, but if it hasn't been clear... I have doubts.

I'll be nearby, as discussed. Anything goes off-rails, we'll close in and shut it down.

After, if it runs smooth—and we're not all dead—he says he'll set up shop in the Tower. Seems risky, yeah, but that's his lot to handle. Truth is I'd much rather have him Tower-side where he can be watched and “collected” if it comes to that. The alternative—him runnin' free-and-clear through the system—isn't an option. He's too much of a liability on his own. Luckily, he seems... open to havin' you nearby.

Still get the sense this whole shindig is something he's cookin' up to face down some big, bad news—some problem he's making ours. But that's his nature.

IX. A Matter of Trust

Well. That didn't go as planned, but your Guardians rallied and saw it through, and the Drifter did his best to fill them in on the sudden... change-state he dropped on 'em.

I was seconds from rushin' in and toasting him, but he handled the situation and set the teams up to finish the match. To be honest... I thought it would all go much worse. What concerns me is... he'd never mentioned the word “Primeval” before. Not once. And that's a problem for obvious reasons.

Tearing soldiers of the Deep from another realm is crossin' a bridge too far as is. But those beasts? Those weren't normal Taken possessed and set to rage. They were born of that shadow realm and they were... angry. Worse. They were hungry for the Light. You could feel it. Even a ways off. Their aura and their rage weighed on me—cast a shadow I could feel in my core.

That he kept them from us is unsettling.

He says it was a necessary deception. I put my gun to his head and asked if there were any others he'd mind sharin'. He just laughed, as he does, twiddlin' that coin of his, and smiled that winners' smile. Told me to take a load off. I almost shot him then and there.

He said we'd never have agreed to let him run his competition if we'd known the full extent of the danger. He's not wrong... probably. But it's hard to move forward knowing the thing we've known all along is true...

The Drifter can't be trusted.

Yet what choice do we have? Again, the risks are justified by the promise of the ends.

I leave it all in your capable hands. I'll be watching. My presence only muddies the waters, so I'll be watchin' from afar. If we're lucky... this Gambit will draw the interest of the rest of his old crew, and the Shadows will make themselves known. 'Til then, I'll return to the hunt, see if I can cut 'em off at the pass, wherever it may be.

Oh. Before I forget—and at the risk of repeatin' myself—keep my real name off your lips. He don't know my face, but he sure as hell knows my name. This all goes sideways otherwise.

X. The Long Con

Can you do it, Drifter? Can you make the Man with the Golden Gun the villain in the eyes of those who would tempt the Dark? It's the final piece. Can you make them fear him?

‘Cuz if you can...

Any Guardian who truly embraces the nature of your Gambit will find themselves a real connection to the mantle of that dead legend. They will take bear that vile title. They will wear his vile colors. They will challenge and even remake the infamy of his vile deeds.

Through these temptations, they will grow strong, but the hatred must be true—driven by the power they find in your wicked game, sealed in the fear you'll seed in the name of the Man with the Golden Gun. I wish there was another way, but your old brothers and sisters in shadow are too far gone. You've seen it. You know as well as me—better than me—the path they walk offers only ruin.

They must be stopped.

So, spread your unholy word, brother. Give new life to old myths. And when that hateful name Dredgen spreads throughout the system... his real disciples will have no choice but to confront their sins.

And you and me? We'll be the ones hearing their confessions.

Oh, one more thing. Let me know who has the gall to change their names. I might want to... give 'em a word or two.

—A Renegade's Final Words to a Drifter Before Resuming the Hunt

#destiny 2 #forsaken

[dontshootmespence]

The Penrose Triangle

Part 3

Everyone left eventually. He was convinced as much. Maybe it wasn’t because they’d willingly left, but the universe somehow decided that when he was born, people would come and go, and apparently the words would too, so he decided if he never knew who his second soulmate was, he’d never lose them.

Maeve had left – taken away at just over the age of 30 after the universe taunted him with her love for just over 100 days. Elle had left, unable to reconcile her desire for revenge and her role as a law enforcement agent. Emily had left, and fuck if that wasn’t too complicated a situation to delve into on his way into work. Granted she’d come back from the dead, but it wasn’t the same, because she needed to create a new life for herself. Gideon had left, with just a note saying he was sorry for how him leaving was going to affect Spencer.

No one’s life revolved around Spencer. He knew that. And that was fine. Everyone’s lives were intertwined with someone else, who was affiliated with someone else and so on and so forth, so did Spencer ever expect anyone to make a decision for themselves based on how he’d react? Of course not, but it didn’t help him from wondering whether or not anyone of his friends or loved ones who’d left realized or cared how it would affect him. Emily was the only one he knew of for sure that regretted the way everything had happened, but that was because she had been the only to ever return.

Elle and Gideon were god knows where. As he rounded the corner to pull into the Bureau parking lot, a meeting with Hotch waiting, he let his brain wander. If he had his way, they’d be back, but in lieu of them returning, he hoped for their happiness. He hoped that Gideon had found love again. After losing his college sweetheart to Frank Breitkopf, he couldn’t deal with the horrors of the world, vanishing into thin air. Spencer hoped that he’d found someone else, a light coming to his eyes that had been ripped away so violently years earlier, as he saw new words spring to life across his skin.  Together, they would travel across country over and over again, taking in the beauty of the world that had been eroded away during Gideon’s 30 years with the BAU.

In Elle’s case, Spencer couldn’t even hazard a guess as to where she was. In the time he’d known her, she didn’t have those blessed or damned words (depending on who you spoke to). Maybe she had found someone since then. Maybe not. But wherever she was, he hoped she happy. In a perfect world, she’d have formed on organization for sexual assault victims, something to help the people she had so desperately wanted to help, in a way that didn’t require breaking the laws she swore to uphold.

So that was what, five, six people that had left in one way or another? Gideon, Elle, Emily, Maeve, his father, and most recently Blake. Like a mother to him, she’d left after he got shot. Again, the horrors of this job kept taking their toll on the ones he loved. Having Blake leave hurt more than he thought it would 

The friends he did have he loved more than anything else in the world. However, they definitely weren’t known for minding their own business. Actually quite the opposite, which was bothersome no matter how pure the intentions. But Blake was different. Blake always made it known that she was there for him if he wanted to talk, but never forced him too, through words or body language. She was effortless to be around, but in a familial way rather than a romantic way. He was convinced that if the universe hadn’t already showed him that it was possible for him to have a romantic soulmate, he would’ve seen Blake’s first words to him on his arm. For all he knew, they could be lying under the bandage he continued to wear – more than a year later. Although Maeve’s death was getting easier to handle day by day, he still wasn’t ready to see those words. There were too many awful possibilities that he couldn’t handle after all he’d been through.

After parking at 7:13 in the morning, he’d apparently sat in the car in deep thought for the past six minutes. His brain told him to move (he did have a meeting to go to after all). While he took the steps up slowly, wanting more time to himself and his mind to wander, he tried to decipher Hotch’s words. What did he want to talk about? Hotch had only said that he wanted to talk to Spencer before work in the morning, but it was a solo meeting.

Gently, Spencer knocked on the door, cracking a small smile as Hotch said good morning. “Come on in, Reid,” he said, sitting down at his desk and searching the younger agent’s eyes for how he was feeling this morning. “How’re you doing?”

“Sleepy,” Spencer replied with a shrug. He sipped at his coffee, which he wished he could ingest in IV form because once he was physically up he hated wasting time on actually getting up mentally. “But otherwise okay. Why did you want to talk to me this morning?”

Hotch smiled, Spencer, much like himself, was always the kind of man to cut to the chase, but for his extensive IQ, he hadn’t deduced what it was that Hotch wanted to talk to him about. “I just wanted to talk about how you’ve been feeling since Blake left.”

In a huff, Spencer got up to leave. “Sit, Reid. I’m not done.”

Spencer rolled his eyes and turned back into the seat, taking another large cup of coffee and nearly burning his throat. “Why do we need to talk about this? It sucks. End of story.”

“Not end of story. You dam up your feelings and when it gets to be too much we both know what happens.” Spencer saw the smallest of glances between Hotch and his own arm. He was referencing the dilauded he turned to, or desperately wanted turn to, during times of great stress. “Reid, you and an invaluable asset to this team, for your mind, and just the dynamic of the team. We all need you, but we need you at your best, and when you keep these emotions bottled up, you are not at your best.”

A minute or two passed by, during which time Spencer stared everywhere but where he was supposed to. “Everyone leaves Hotch. That’s my life. What can I say? My father left, then Gideon left, then Elle left, then Emily left, came back and left again, then the love of my life got shot, and now Blake is gone. What am I supposed to do with that? Am I supposed to operating at full capacity barely a month after Blake left?” When he was younger and had just joined the Bureau, Spencer wouldn’t have allowed himself to get so snappy with a superior, but aside from being his boss, Spencer also considered Hotch a friend, and right now his friend was making him angry. “Because I’m not. But I always get back to where I need to be when people leave me alone to grieve in my own way. Blake understood that.” He said that last bit under his breath, a lone tear stinging at the corner of his eye as he looked down at the floor.

Hotch understood. They all got each other to a deeper degree than most people understood their friends given what they did for a living, but Blake’s connection with Spencer went deeper still. “I know Blake leaving hurt you, but that’s all the more reason to seek someone out to confide in. Does keeping in all make you happy?”

“Of course not,” Spencer snapped, raising his voice slightly higher than he’d intended. “What would make you think that? It makes me miserable.” 

“Nothing,” he replied matter-of-factly. “Then why don’t you speak to someone?”

“Because either way I’m miserable. I keep it in, I’m miserable by myself, or I let it out and make everyone around me miserable. Why would I do that to the people I love?”

“Because we love you,” Hotch said. It was rare he said those exact words to his co-workers. He was more the type to imply it than say it, but Reid needed to realize that despite his childhood, where he was, in essence, alone, it wasn’t that way any longer. “Talk to someone. Anyone. Whether it be one of us or not.”

In his head, Spencer knew he didn’t want to be an ass, but that’s where his heart was headed, so he just shut his mouth…until he couldn’t anymore. “Do you ever take your own advice?” Hotch was the king of keeping in his emotions, or at least that’s what Spencer thought. “Do you ever talk to Beth about the cases that get under your skin?” The sentiment was filled with such vitriol, probably because Spencer assumed that Beth had been Hotch’s second soulmate.

“Not anymore,” he said, getting up and walking around to sit on top of the desk. “Beth and I broke up.”

Spencer had been looking down at the floor the entire time, but his head sprung up at the realization that Hotch’s second soulmate didn’t last. “I’m sorry,” he said. “After…” he didn’t want to say Hayley’s name. It was still a sore subject; Spencer could tell. “I was really happy that you’d found your soulmate again.”

“She wasn’t my soulmate.” Hotch watched as the surprise spread across the young man’s face. “I don’t know whose words these are.” On his arm was written ‘she must’ve been an incredible woman.’ “These weren’t the words Beth first spoke to me, but we got along really well, and since neither of us had any words on our arms, we decided to just go for it. We were both convinced, and still are, that those words can pop after you start a relationship. That it doesn’t have to happen before. It can. It can be something that the universe has ordained for you, but we both believe that it was something that individuals could change.”

“And did it?” Spencer asked, genuinely curious. He’d never expected that Beth and Hotch hadn’t been made for each other. They just fit together so perfectly.

“Well, no,” Hotch smiled. “But that doesn’t mean that it’s not true. Look, I like the idea of having someone, or multiple someones, out there in the world waiting for me, but I also like the idea of having some control over my own destiny, that those soulmates or soul companions can be of your own choosing as well as the universe’s.” Spencer had never really thought of it that way before, which was astounding considering how much time and energy he’d put into the whole concept as a child.

The earlier tension faded to the background when the conversation had changed direction. “I never really thought of it like that,” Spencer finally said.

“I think you have,” Hotch said, continuing when Spencer looked confused. “Whether you’ve actively thought about it like that, I think the reason having these people, or some of them anyway, leave, hurt so much was because you felt a deep soulmate-like connection to them. Especially Blake, Emily and Gideon.”

Spencer swallowed hard. When he’d come in the room, he’d been angry, then the mood turned to pity for the demise of Hotch’s relationship, to slightly more light-hearted, but now…now he was sad again. Spencer was pretty sure this was the opposite of what Hotch had wanted from this meeting. What Hotch had said made total sense though. That’s why he’d been hit by people leaving so much more than other people, because for Spencer, the people that came to him later in life felt like soulmates; they felt like those childhood friends and loved ones that he’d missed out on, so seeing them leave was like a dagger in the heart.

The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to cry, and eventually, he couldn’t stop himself, openly sobbing in Hotch’s office.

Hotch got up and closed the blinds, just in case people decided to start walking in a little bit earlier than usual, and once he returned to his desk, he grabbed Spencer by the shoulder, hoisted him upward and wrapped his arms around him. “Look, Reid. We are never telling you that you have to talk, but we are here if you want to talk. We may not have all the same experiences as you do, even though someone like myself has lost a loved one in the exact same way you did, but that doesn’t mean we can’t listen, and as your friends, that we wouldn’t want to.” Spencer hadn’t lifted his head from Hotch’s shoulder, but he nodded that he’d heard him.

After a minute or two, Spencer’s tears dried up and he lifted his head, making eye contact with Hotch and giving up; giving up trying to look okay when he wasn’t. “Now listen, I think this soulmate thing is bothering you more than you’re letting on. We’ve all noticed that you have your arm bandaged up. You have other words?”

“I saw the faint outline of ink, so yes, but I don’t want to look at them.”

Hotch put out his hand and reassured Spencer. “And you don’t have to. What I want to say is that the words don’t have to dictate your life, if you don’t want them to. If you keep that bandage on, and two years from now, you feel a spark with someone, take that bandage off and realize that the words don’t match, don’t give up your autonomy. We were born into this universe where this exists, but that doesn’t mean he have to think of it as God. Pursue love in your own way. Let it come to you. And maybe, one day, you’ll realize that you have the power to change your fate. What I’m saying is remain open.”

Spencer breathed a cleansing breath, feeling a little bit better after talking with Hotch. “I’ll try,” he said, walking toward the door. As he turned the doorknob, he stopped in his tracks. “Do you think I could come in this time next week?” He asked, realizing he sounded like he was talking to a therapist. “I have no idea what I’m going to need to say or if I’ll need to say anything, but I might feel better coming to you.”

“Same time next week,” Hotch replied with a laugh. “Bring a book if you feel like it. Just know that I’m here.”

“Thanks Hotch.”

And with that, Spencer walked out and went back to his desk, his shoulders slightly more uplifted after their talk. As Hotch sat back down at his desk, he’d hoped he’d gotten through to him. He liked the idea of a soulmate as much as the next person, but he would hate to see Reid close himself off to the world and all its possibilities just because his feelings he had didn’t align with the words painted across his skin.  Whether he was romantically linked or not, he had soulmates all around him – if only he allowed them in.

@adropintheocean1234567 @milkandcookies528 @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @gubl-oser @sammi9406 @rda1989 @stunudo @stay-wokke @brywrites @spencersolves @zombies-bunny @grayskiesandoceaneyes @the-slytherin-ice-queen @rosyreid @twelveyearoldchildprodigy @felisarunswithscissors @ultrarebelheart @lookingforgalifrey @live-love-be-unique @sammikeys23 @sassygeek77 @imawkwardhelpmeh @imagicana @original-criminal-fanfics @sonhadoraativa @madamredwrites @tenderlysaltyalpaca @nevernot-broken @crazysurvival @un-kinder @just-a-localdreamer @geek13freak @pleasedftbaforever @chocok22 @sierra---king @whymesswperfection @camigt1999 @clockworkballerina @brooke0297 @unstoppableangel8 @reid-my-fortune @madjeknotts @nobravery

#spencer reid #maeve donovan #luke alvez #dontshootmespence #the penrose triangle

[expressandadmirable]

RP Highlights: Collection IV (Mourning)

Morgan lets herself be folded into Lux's arms and sighs, her head falling into the crook of Lux's elbow. "Is that the basic setting for most people? Assume lies until proven otherwise?"

"It can be. It'll keep you alive. But it's also very lonely."

* * *

Morgan sighs. "I just wish I knew what damage needed repairing. The things I can see are easy.  You can't take people apart to find out what's wrong with them."

* * *

"I should have put up a different sign, huh?"

"What would you have put up instead? 'Gone to save the world'?"

* * *

Sol moves to stand close at the Tiefling's side, her hand moving from Aviva's shoulder to cradle the back of her neck as she pulls the other woman into her arms, lowering her cheek to Aviva's forehead and breathing slowly in. She says nothing, but after a few moments she shifts to press a gentle kiss to Aviva's temple.

It's as if Sol's kiss releases a pressure valve. Aviva slumps into Sol's arms and buries her face in the fabric at Sol's neck, wrapping her own arms around the Drow's torso. She weeps, silent but for the breath hitching in her throat, her whole form shuddering. After a minute or two, she calms somewhat, lifting her head and wiping her cheeks with the heel of her hand. She stops when she opens her eyes to look at where her face had been. "Oh. I left blood on your collar."

Sol holds her, tightly and silently, and closes her eyes as she feels Aviva's sobs against her chest. When the Tiefling draws back, she pulls off her gloves and tucks them away, the better to hold Aviva's cheek gently with one hand and sweep a slate-dark thumb lightly over the woman's split lip.

* * *

When Sol opens her eyes again, the corners of her mouth lose a little curve. "How are you feeling?"

Aviva sighs contemplatively, genuinely unsure how to answer the question. After running through a few options, she selects the bluntest one. "Honestly, I could go for a fuck." It's not an invitation, just a statement of fact. "Nothing like being sharply reminded of your own mortality to make you want to do something that lets you know you're still alive."

Sol huffs a short laugh, straightening a little but not drawing away. "Not once have I been able to guess what's about to come out of your mouth before you've said it."

* * *

After a moment Aviva snakes her arms around Sol and pulls her close again, quietly enjoying Sol being taller than her when she kneels instead of sits. A small whining sound escapes into Sol's armour. "I need a nap."

Sol enjoys it too, being able to rest her chin atop Aviva's head and smooth her hand over the tense join of neck and shoulders. Her thumb brushes the nape of Aviva's neck beneath her vivid hair, and just for a moment she closes her eyes. "A nap I can promise you." She falls silent, if only to savour the sound of Aviva's breath against her.

* * *

Wil settles in beside Lux carefully, either trying to read the tone of the melody, or avoid the pain his body wishes to continuously remind him of. He's quiet for far longer than he's known for, almost nodding along with the music, before he finally opens his mouth. "Thank you."

"For what?" Lux looks up at him for a moment, eyebrow raised, before looking back at her strings.

"I'm not sure if everyone does it. ...Thanks you, that is. Or if maybe I just haven't." Wilhelm begins to rub away at the burnt edges of his sleeves, severely fraying them and losing far more material than he ever hopes to save. He frowns, and continues. "Somehow your voice always seems to bring us back."

Lux smiles slightly, her shoulders lifting in a small shrug. "I do what I can." She pauses. "But I appreciate you saying so."

* * *

Lux sighs sharply and palms the strings, stopping the music. "No, Wil, it's not fine. I'm not fine. I'm grieving and frightened and if one more person lies to me I will eat their tongue out of their godsdamned skull. I'm trying desperately not to lose hope and the only way I can do that is by believing in the people in this room. Is that what you wanted to hear? I'm not fine. I want to believe I'll be fine. I'm going to try my best to be fine. But no, right now I'm not fine."

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear, because considering your reaction to fire coming forth from your body that first time, you've a bad reaction to keeping things buried for so long." Wilhelm's gaze fixes on Lux, eyes narrowed.

* * *

Lux watches him for a long moment, adding the pieces together in her head. When she finally speaks, her voice is barely a whisper. "What happened to you, Wil?" She searches his profile, not entirely sure what to look for. Some indication of how he came to be the strange, damaged person sitting before her. "What's really going on in that head of yours?"

"I'm perfectly fine." Wil's words sound rehearsed, eyes fixed on some blur before him. He's not even entirely sure just what it is, he's just aware that his heart is pounding in a new and interesting way, but in a way that makes his body feel ice cold when combined with the words from Lux's mouth. "I'm here for every reason that the rest of you are."

"No you're not." It's not an accusation, just a statement.

* * *

Wilhelm's lip curls up in a sneer, "I'm not-- scared. Not of this connections thing. I just see no point in it. I can understand its usefulness, I can understand why peoples form communities and express feelings towards others, but I can't see it in my future when it hasn't been a building block in my past. I have spent the past twenty years in the same professional company, this isn't... a thing. For me." Finally, he turns to watch Lux. He watches her fingers on the lute, and the way her mouth moves when she's chewing over the words she wants to say. And he sighs, empty. "This isn't to mean I'm not loyal to any of you. I care in some way about each of you. Even that intimidating Orc is growing on me."

Lux keeps her eyes on him. "Please believe me when I say I understand. I've spent as long as I can remember carefully curating my life so nobody would miss me if I left. I could write a symphony on how to keep people away while still outwardly looking like a functioning member of society. You could use me as a case study in your next class. But... The very fact that you care in some way about each of us means you do see a point in connections. Somewhere in you, it feels right. And it may not be for you, but it's definitely scary for me."

* * *

Wil fixes a lopsided grin on his face. "Ah... Considering how many of us you speak to, and how many times I've seen you pick up the pieces, I don't think you'll have too many issues with connections. You're a glue keeping us together, it seems. You make us work. I know I'd miss you."

* * *

"I don't understand why you aren't blaming me." Wil leans back, hands pressed to the cold ground behind him. "He meant things to you. You mourned him, the same as Morgan. But to me, he was a blank spot who didn't seem to trust me, or the actions I took. I heard Thorncurl's word, and I should have known what was happening in that moment. I expect blame. I don't understand why I'm not receiving it. It's a new experience."

It takes Lux a moment to comprehend. "You... blame yourself for his death? Why? There was nothing you could have done. There was nothing any of us could have done. Was there?"

"I'm certain I could have done something. If I'd-- ah, I don't know, I could have hexed him, I could have insulted him, I could have done anything to keep it from happening. I'm certain I could have." The frustration builds in Wilhelm's voice even as he tries to keep a calm composure, the mix bringing his breathing to an anxious pitch. "I could have held him and stopped this entire situation from happening. I did nothing, I made it worse. Like I do."

Lux's smile is almost sad. "You can go over it in your head as much as you like, play through every What-If you can possibly think of, but all it will do is drive you mad. It happened too fast. Thorncurl -- or whatever he was -- had it planned. There was nothing we could have done. We avenged him, and that has to be enough."

"I could have been faster than him. I'm certain of it."

* * *

"If I fail, I don't do it again. There's no reason to continue doing something if all it leads to is... disappointment."

"But that disappointment still sits in you. That doesn't seem like the healthiest way to absorb lessons." Lux offers a sympathetic half-smile, her music soothing.

"No, but it serves as a reminder of what not to do. I can keep it in there, and just... ah... know to avoid what caused it in the first place. It's a learning experience." Wil shakes his head slowly, closing his eyes. "I suppose it would be like what would happen if one had a bad relationship. They'd still know the signs, and avoid future engagements like those prior engagements."

Lux scoffs. "The mortal heart is far too complicated to actually take its own good advice. You'd be surprised how many mistakes you can repeat."

* * *

Wil waves his hand, as though to clear away their previous conversations. "I don't allow the failures to consume me. I know what I want, and I know to take the most direct path towards it, and nothing will stop me. Just... make me have to stop and focus."

Lux watches his face as he covers his tracks. "And what is it you want?"

Caught up in a line of remarkably clear truth, Wil says an Elvish fuck word under his breath. "...Ah. Well. I just want us to wake the Seer. That is my ultimate goal here. And then I'll see what's next."

"Mm." Lux strums the open strings of the lute as she fishes in her pouch for her cigarette box with her other hand. "Maybe someday you'll even tell me."

"Maybe someday I'll even know myself."

Lux lets out a light laugh. "Maybe." She places a cigarette between her lips and flicks the edge of the tinderbox with her thumbnail.

"And when that day comes, I promise you'll be the first to know." Wil glances at her cigarette, mouth opened for a question before closing with a snap. He'll just enjoy the sweet smoke for a while and sort out the emotions playing havoc in his head.

Lux raises an eyebrow and glances sidelong at Wil as she blows a smoke ring. "I'm gonna hold you to that."

* * *

Aviva nods to the tin of burn salve. "Shouldn't wait too much longer to apply that. Too many facial scars and you won't look like you anymore."

Sol tips her head back against the cold stone of the column, the side of her mouth that Aviva can see curling up just a little. "I like Grummer's look. I thought I'd give it a try."

Aviva returns the smile with a look that's a little bit joking, little bit pleading. "Please keep both your eyes. You need those. And I like them."

* * *

Sol opens her eyes just a little, enough for Aviva to track her glance across the room. "Did the boy put you through the ringer again?"

Aviva laughs ruefully and leans her head back against the column to give a beleaguered look to the heavens. "I wish I could say I learned my lesson. But I learned some interesting things about him, at least. Which I guess is the best I can hope for half the time. To unravel some of his damage."

"One day we'll need talking to him to not be best likened to getting blood from a stone." Sol's palm slides absently up Aviva's shoulder, just high enough to toy with the tips of her vivid hair. "No more secrets." She says it with a strange resolve.

"Wishful thinking, but I'll keep on wishing."

Sol turns her head to smile softly and meet Aviva's eye. "It's got to start somewhere."

* * *

"We'll need to go soon. Are you ready?"

Aviva follows Sol's gaze. "I think so. I'm not excited to be exposed out there, but it doesn't reek of death and ancient evil as it does down here." She looks back at Sol as she plays. "And maybe there will be flowers."

Sol's smile grows just for a moment at that, the tip of a finger just brushing the bare skin of Aviva's neck before her hand retreats. "Maybe we'll be so lucky."

Aviva's head tilts just slightly toward Sol, as if it's protesting the withdrawal of her hand. "I'll just be happy to see sky."

Aviva isn't left protesting long, Sol's hand finding hers and gently stilling it on the strings of the lute, ending the song. She nods. "For the first time in my life, so will I."

(These snippets are all part of one long scene that took place during a rest, which I think is pretty cool. Lux's text and minor edits by me, Sol’s text by @b-e-m-l-t, Wilhelm’s text by @biasanduntrue, Morgan’s text by @stufflaalikes)

#Dungeons and Dragons #Original Characters #Canon #Roleplay #Aviva Lux

[midotakaism]

(i wasn't sure which blog i should send it to and i know you already did this but!! your blog always cheer up my day and you're an awesome person ;u;

aaah, this was so so sweet of you, and im really happy to know that im able to cheer you up in some way, so thank you so much!!! ♥♥♥

so, it took me some time to reply to this because as soon as i read your message i was like ‘HELL YEAH i can do this for tianshan’, and i got really excited about it, but when i actually sat down to write i completely blanked out. as i was thinking about this, i realised that i don’t really know what could make them happy, and of course i have a couple of headcanons for that, but it was pretty hard to come up with five things for both of them. in the end this is all i could manage to do, and im not satisfied with it, but i know that if i don’t publish this now i never will (i have to thank @heytian for helping me out with this, though in the end i messed up everything, sigh. also i’d love to know everyone’s opinion on this!!). okay, so…… things that make he tian happy:

i. mo guan shan: predictable, maybe, but that doesn’t make it any less true. they haven’t known each other for long, but guan shan already had a big impact on he tian and his life. he gave he tian a reason to change and to show a softer side of his personality that we weren’t aware of before, and i also think that he made he tian open up more, allowing other people (well, mainly jian yi and zheng xi) to get closer to him. this might be too cheesy, but i do believe that guan shan brought light into he tian’s life, he filled all the empty space in it just by being himself, and at this point is so clear that he tian loves and cares about him so much, i just don’t think there’s anything else that makes he tian as happy as just being with guan shan

ii. basketball: i think that basketball is one of the very few things that he tian enjoys tbh, he always looks very happy and excited when he plays it, which makes sense, because sport can be very liberating in a way, it really helps to free your mind from everything and just focus on what you’re doing in that moment, and it’s also a great way to connect with people, two things that in my opinion he tian really needs

iii. music: we’ve seen he tian with earphones on a lot of times, and i know we don’t really have any confirmation that he actually listens to music (i mean, i often put them on without playing anything just so people won’t talk to me, so), but im just going with it because i think it’s something that fits his character really well. when you are lonely as he tian used to be, you long to fill all the silence and empty space with something, and music is a great way to do that

iv. animals: let’s be real, he tian is a big softie at heart and probably loves all kinds of animals a lot (even if he has a preference for dogs), and i know this is getting repetitive, but pets are great for company and they are a huge help to make you feel better, so i think he tian would be really happy to have one

v. affection: this isn’t probably the right word for what im trying to say, but i didn’t know how to summarise it, and i also don’t know if im going too ooc, but i think he tian really wants to belong, to feel needed and wanted and appreciated, loved, so i can see him being very happy to receive those kind of small gestures that show that someone really cares about him (and by someone i mean guan shan [coughs])

things that make guan shan happy

i. he tian: i know, i know, im biased as hell, but the thing is……..just as guan shan made he tian’s life better, i think that the other way around is true as well. yes, he tian made a lot of mistakes and has a lot to apologise for, but despite his unorthodox methods (which let’s be clear, im not excusing) he succeded in making guan shan understand that he is not alone and that not everyone just wants to use him. he brought life into guan shan’s life too, he brought acceptance and friendship and love, and again, he did not do it in the best way, but he did open guan shan to happiness, and i do believe taht in the future they both will make each other incredibly happy

ii. food: i think that food holds some of guan shan’s happiest memories tbh, from cooking with his dad, to helping his mom grocery shopping, to always eating dinner together, food has probably had a very important role in guan shan’s life since he was a kid, and to this day i feel that doing anything related to it is what makes him feel more at peace

iii. friends and family: well, i don’t really have much to say about this tbh, guan shan just gives me the feeling of being a family man, and he probably never had many friends but i think he is someone who treasures them and is happy to be around them even if most of the time he looks and grumpy and completely #done with their shenanigans (he secretly loves them a lot)

iv. videogames: similarly as basketball for he tian, i think that guan shan finds playing videogames very relaxing, because they are a good way to make yourself focus on something and forget about all your troubles for a while, and even if we’ve never actually seen guan shan playing them, i think that’s something that he could enjoy a lot by offering him an escape from reality and a way to channel all the feelings that he tends to bottle up inside of him and that otherwise would make him explode

v. creating/fixing stuff: this……doesn’t really have any base whatsoever, but i think that, just like with cooking, there’s a lot of satisfaction into taking different things and putting them together in a way that works, and i feel like guan shan would really enjoy that, because it’s something that makes you feel accomplished and proud, and i think that guan shan needs this, needs to know that he can create something special, that he is good enough to do that

#hoozuukii #ask #this is a mess and im sorry #sigh #anyway i hope you're going to have a wonderful day!! #and thank you again for sending me this!! #do these classify as headcanons?? #um #anyway im gonna eat and take some medicine and just disappear for a while because I'm embarrassed rn