#i think its legitimately my least favorite game

[hellsingmongrel]

So, bit of ramblings on my Post-Trimax Wolfwood headcanons.

Man, one of my favorite tropes in media is a character who's spirit lingers on after they've died, but it's usually something you only see in fanfic, so I cannot get over how FUCKING FERAL I was when I realized that it was legit a thing in Trimax, and that Wolfwood was the one we actually got to see, legitimately talking to the people he'd left behind and confirming that ghosts in the canon weren't just hallucinations or something! Like yeah, we saw Tessla leading the boys to her body, but since her ghost was never mentioned again, it could have easily have been written off as a fluke, right?

NOPE. They are real and they linger after to watch over the people they care about or to send messages to the people who are still alive! And the fact that the character who had just wormed his way into being just as beloved to me as my favorite character (Which NEVER happens, I usually only have enough brain cells for one at a time!) and that we had just had our hearts ripped to shreds watching him die was also the one we got to know had definitely stayed behind to watch over the people he loved just makes me SO HAPPY! I rp that asshole from time to time, and I just love exploring the implications of it!

I play him like he's been there a LONG TIME. When he died, Rem was there, watching over Vash, but when Knives spent the last of his energy, she chose to move on with him, now that she knew Wolfwood would be there to keep watch over Vash, and he took it SERIOUSLY. He's been waiting so long, he's lost his sense of time, he thinks it's only been a couple decades when it's been CENTURIES. And the time has softened his own trauma, he's gone from being surly and angry and defensive to being at peace and finding comfort in the fact that its allowed him to see more of Vash's life than he ever would have been able to live long enough to see when he was alive. And it's given him time to notice just how unwell Vash is, how broken he is, watching over him when he thinks he's alone and lets himself break down.

But it's also made Wolfwood a bit unwell in his own way; as time went on and the people he knew in life began to pass away, too, his interest in paying attention to what the people around them were doing wained, and his dedication to watching over Vash until it was his time to pass on became a strange sort of dependence. He loses his sense of self, in a way, until the most important thing in his existence is being there for Vash, waiting for him, having long-since accepted that when the time comes, it'll be over and he's alright with that.

He's happy, but to the perspective of a living person, it would seem TWISTED in a way. He still thinks he's a damned soul, stealing more time than he's allowed and only damning himself further by doing so, and he just knows that when he gets to walk Vash into whatever comes after for them, they'll be separated again, for the last time, and there won't be any coming back from it that time, because Vash is too good, too kind, too HOLY to ever be damned. But it's fine. Wolfwood knew he was damned long before his death, and time has just given him the chance to make peace with it and simply be happy with the fact that at least he'll be able to be with Vash when he can move on to wherever good people go at the end. And yet when it happens, Vash feels the same way about himself, so certain that he's the one who's damned, and their reunion is wonderful and painful and terrifying for both of them in different ways.

He's even worse with interacting with people, once he's forced to interact with the living. I play Wolfwood in a game where he stumbles into revealing himself after spending centuries never letting himself be seen, and he worries that going "silent" again will upset people. He's spent centuries being a silent shadow, certain that letting Vash know he was there would only cause more suffering for an already unwell mind, so he's forgotten how to interact with tact, blurting out whatever pops into his head because he's only had himself to talk to for all that time. He hurts people without meaning to, begins to suffer from the crisis of worrying that no matter what he does, he's a burden to the people who mourn him, he doesn't belong, his existence is nothing but a constant reminder of what's coming and will only cause the people around him pain. He's both able to be the kind, caring, loving person he might have been if the Eye of Michael had never taken him from the orphanage, and also a HUGE, ANXIOUS WRECK.

And the thing that makes it all worse for him is the fact that when he was dumped into the game I have him in, he was separated from the Vash of his timeline, and now lives in constant fear that he'll never see him again, that he won't be there when he passes on and there won't be anyone to greet him on the other side, alone and never knowing that he was waiting for him. He made a promise to Rem that he'd watch over him for her, that he'd lead him to his final destination where he could be with his family again, and now that he's lost that, what purpose does he have? He's terrified to let go himself, worried he'll pass onto the other side when Vash was right around the corner, but the thought of lingering without finding him again, missing his chance to be there for him when it's his turn, leaves him in an almost constant state of almost-panic.

I also just think it's kind of sweetly poetic, if in the end, he chose to continue the role he'd been forced into; take Vash where he's supposed to be. Only this time, it's his choice, and it won't be to his death. He wants to guide him to where he knows people are waiting for him, where he'll finally be happy and be at peace. He doesn't mind the fact that he's going to Hell, so long as he was able to be the one that leads Vash to the place where he won't have to be in pain ever again.

#Trigun #Trigun Maximum #Nicholas D. Wolfwood #Vash the Stampede #This probably is a bit insufferably angsty #I can't tell #I'm PMSing and having Vashwood feels and I'm making it eveyone else's problem! #But no really though I fuckin' LOVE ghosts in media! #Favorite trope 10/10 would rip my heart out again! #RP musings #Vashwood #Also yeah this may be completely out of character to other people but #S H R U G #This is just where my brain lead me when I started wondering what Wolfwood's ghost did after Trimax #Also I know it doesn't exactly fit canon but his Vash has started developing salt-and-pepper streaks in his black hair #and little age lines because he's like 500 YEARS OLD at that point or something #andI kind of love that mental image #Wolfwood still thinks he's the most beautiful thing on No Man's Land but he's VERY biased and has developed a bit of an unhealthy fixation

[andydrysdalerogers]

Can I Count on Your Love? ~ Chris Evans

Pairings: Chris Evans x F!Reader

Summary: Its been a year since the events of "Can I Count on Your Vote?" and you and Chris have some adult fun. But others decide its time for you two to end and one photo could destroy you both...

Word Count: 6.8k

Song: Adore You by Harry Styles

Warnings: Smut! Angst! Language, jealous, Chris in political mode, P in V, committed relationship, oral (M and F receiving), car sex,

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day everyone. This is a follow up to my other one shot which you can find here.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist

Politics is a cat and mouse game.  You are either chasing someone to bring them down or you are on the chopping block.  

Being the youngest senator made you the easy target, someone that the old guard hated for changing the status quo.  

Chris loved how ambitious, tenacious, strong, driven, and beautiful you were. You would both lay for hours in bed, talking about how you both would change the world. Chris had no aspirations to be in office, but you had the ultimate goal in mind: being the first female president.  Germany had done it, Great Britain has female prime ministers, so why couldn’t we do it here? 

It was especially significant as the press and other political analysts were predicting that you could be the one to pull it off.  The ASP chat helped launch your first bill about student debt in Congress, gaining the following of many around the country.  It was touted as the first major move toward a potential historical presidential run.  Chris said that ASP was doing even better because it was now being legitimized by everyone as a great source of verified information. That was his goal, to have a clean source of information for his fellow citizens.  

Speaking of Chris, it's been about a year since you had decided to make it official.  Well as official as it could be seen, it was still a secret to most of the world.  After the ASP Chat on tuition went viral, a lot of speculation was made on whether the two of you were together due to the intense chemistry seen in the interview. But your teams made sure you were never photographed together; rendezvous were made on the low.  Mostly it was you and Chris or your families hanging inside the gates of Chris’s house or your heavily secured apartment in either California or DC.  It was tough but you both made it work.  

Gearing up for the next session of Congress, you were reviewing your schedule with Steve, your assistant, when your receptionist, Ava, came in with a huge bouquet of roses.  There were at least three dozen in different shades of red, white and pink.  You smiled, knowing it was probably from Chris.  Ava sits them down in the corner of your desk.  “There’s a note, ma’am.” 

You plucked the little card with a smile as your team waited patiently.  

I know your secret.  

And a photo floated out of the envelope.  

Your smile froze and slowly morphed into fear.  “Steve, I need the head of my security detail. Now. Ava, I need Chris and Megan as well.”  They scurried from the room as you stared at the little card.  You tried to swallow, get your breathing to calm as you noticed you were beginning to hyperventilate.  The room began to tunnel as you tried to think of how anyone would know.  As the phone began to ring, the room wobbled slightly.  You could hear Ava say it was Chris, who was in town for ASP.  You picked it up. “Chris?” 

“Hey Baby.” When all he heard was a sob, he began to panic.  “Baby? YN? YN! Answer me.”  

“They saw us,” you whispered.  

And the room went black.  

A month prior… 

“Chris, stop!” You squealed as Chris’s hand drifted higher and higher up the skirt of your dress.  You had managed to have a private dinner at little Greek diner in Boston and Chris was driving you back to his house.  Well, he was driving and coping a feel up your dress.  He was horny, seeing you in his favorite little black dress and heels.  He loved that you didn’t wear a lot of makeup either, just that gorgeous red lip that set off your exquisite eyes.  Eyes that he saw the first time on stage in the California sun.  

“Baby, you can’t wear this dress and not expect me to keep my hands to myself,” Chris said as you batted his hands away.  

“You can wait until we get home and then I can let you know what’s underneath this dress,” you said with bite to your lower lip.  

Chris groaned as his cock twitched.  “Fuck me, sweetheart.  I don’t think I can make it.” He saw a darken alley and pulled over.  

“What do you think you are doing?” You looked around to see it was so dark you couldn’t see the trees or the road once Chris shut off the lights. Even your security team wasn’t in sight.  

“I need to feel you, beautiful.  I need to be inside you and I can't wait.”  He leaned over and kissed you hard, taking your breath away, distracting you from the fact he took off your seatbelt.  His hands, his large, gorgeous hands grip your waist and lower to your ass, lifting you and sliding you onto his lap.  You gasp as you feel how hard he is underneath you. He groans at how hot you feel over his erection. “Jesus, baby.”  

“Chris,” you moan as he begins to assault your neck, the brush of his beard rubbing your delicate skin just the right way.  

Chris raised his hands all the way up your skirt, his nimble fingers on his right finding your heat while his left continued upwards to your breast. He dipped his hand inside your panties to find you hot and wet for him. “Oh honey, all for me,” as he swirled your leaking juices around your lips, just brushing your clit and making you jolt.  

“All for you, my love,” you groan as he speeds up his motions, now tweaking your breast, hardening the nub as you begin to grind in his lap.  

“Fuck sweetheart, I need to have you,” he whispers in your ear. He pulls his hand from your heat, listening to you whimper from the loss of his fingers. He quickly undoes his belt and his fly as you continue fondling your own breast. He pulls down his jeans and boxers enough to release his long thick cock and pump a few times before he moves your now soaked panties aside and thrust up into your pussy.  

“Chris!” The stretch was incredible, the pleasure and pain mixing in a way that you had never felt before.  The primal way Chris just rutted up into you was so different but oh so good. He took a hold of your hips to guide you up and down his shaft hard.  

“Just like that baby, ride me hard.  Let me fuck you senseless,” he growled. It was rough, it was fast. It was everything.  The ribbons of pleasure started to ripple in your belly as your core began to grip his cock every time you moved.  He sat up a little bit more, changing the angle and he was there.  Hitting that spot inside that always made you see stars.  

“Baby, I can’t...” 

“Let go Senator,” he whispered in your ear. “Let me feel you.  Soak me, love.” He thrusted up hard as he pulled you down.  

“Chris!”  You scream as you blacked out from the immense pleasure. Your head tilted back as Chris pressed his face into your chest as he chased his own end.  He could barely move with how tight you had gotten with your own orgasm, and it was enough for him to swear loudly as he came inside you.  

It took a minute to come down, Chris kissing your shoulder, neck, forehead until he felt your body start to relax.  “Are you ok?” 

She smiled but flinched when he moved slightly. “I’m ok.  That was intense.”  

Chris frowned, worry overcoming.  “Did you not like...” 

“I loved it, Chris.  I like it rough and dirty sometimes.  Don’t worry baby.  I’m ok.”  You kissed his forehead to smooth out the worry lines on his face.  “Right now, I’m trying to figure out how to get back in my seat without making more of a mess.” You could feel the wetness that is getting ready to seep out.  

That got Chris to chuckle.  “Don’t worry baby.  Once we get home, the gates close and no one is the wiser.”  He kissed you softly this time.  “I love you.”  

“I love you.”  

You got back into your seat as Harry Styles's Adore You started to play as Chris started the car.  He took your hand and held it as he drove. He hummed along until he turned to you and sang... 

Oh, honey (ah)  I'd walk through fire for you  Just let me adore you 

Present... 

“Sweetheart? YN? Can you hear me?” 

It was the sweetest voice you knew.  The voice of the man you loved. It was the only soothing thing your senses could understand.  The rest was painful.  Your head was pounding, your body ached, the blood pounding in your ears.  After a moment, the soothing voice was now followed but gentle touches in your hair.  Finally, your throat felt like it would accept air and allow you to speak.  Your eyes fluttered and a groan escaped your mouth.  

“Baby? Are you with us?” 

The light was harsh in the room.  Your office.  Was your office always so bright? It took a couple of blinks of your eyes before you could focus and see Ava, Steve, Robert (your head of security) and Chris, who held your head in his lap.  “Hi?” 

“Hi. How are you feeling?” 

“Sore, a little confused. What happened?” 

He breathed a sigh of relief. “You fainted while on the phone with me.” He helped you sit up as Ava passed a glass of water.  “Baby, what happened?” 

You looked at the arrangement of roses and began to cry. “Someone sent me those with a note and a photo.” Robert went to the desk and saw everything on the floor.  His eyes widened as he looked back at you.  

“Miss YLN, I don’t...” 

“How did they get that Robert?  You told me we weren’t being followed.  We weren’t even seen.”  

Chris frowned. “Can I see that?” Robert handed the note and photo over.  Chris saw and sucked in his breath.  It was clearly a photo of you and him in the car from that night.  You were still in Chris’s lap as Chris held you by your neck, kissing you. “Holy fuck.”  

“What are we going to do Chris?”  

“I don’t know.”  He ran a hand through his hair.  He pulled out his phone and messaged Megan about an emergency meeting.  “We are going to meet at your house with Robert, Megan and your chief of staff and we are going to figure this out.”  

You nod, because it’s the sensible thing to do.  But your heart felt fear, your head was on the metaphorical chopping block.  

Later that night, both of your teams gathered in your dining room.  

Megan looked at the picture and sighed.  “Can one of you explain what happened?” 

Chris cleared his throat and explained the dinner and pulling over and just having a moment of unadulterated love between himself and you.  “We thought we were alone.  I mean, I didn’t even see her security team.  It was just one moment.”  

Rachel, your chief of staff, was taking notes and scoffed.  “Yeah, well, that one moment has the potential of going viral.  

“Can you even tell it's us?” Chris asked.  

Robert looked at the photo.  “It’s a blurry photo. It has deniability to it unless the photographer has cooperating evidence of who is in the car.  I’m going to sit down with the security team from that night and find out what happened.”  

“And I think that we shouldn’t do anything unless there is an obvious threat,” Rachel said.  I mean right now it’s someone saying they know but it doesn’t mean it’s someone from the other side.  I say we wait it out.  Jumping to action may be worse at this point.”  

“I agree.”  Megan looked at the photo. “Reaction would be bringing a spotlight to you two when it's not needed.”  

You didn’t realize you were trembling until Chris took your hand and rubbed his thumb over your knuckles.  “Baby, what do you think?”  When you didn’t answer, Chris placed his hand on your cheek to get you to focus on him. “YN, sweetheart, it's gonna be ok.  Do you think this is a good plan?” You looked into the ocean blues that comforted you so many times before.  They looked resolute in the decision, and you trusted that.  You nodded but still a single tear slipped.  “Honey, what is it?” 

“I’m scared,” you whispered.   

Chris’s heart dropped.  He didn’t want his girl to be scared, not his brave warrior girl. He sucked in a breath to steady himself before he said, “Don’t be. I’ll be right by your side.  Don’t you worry.” He kissed your forehead before he kissed your lips and kept his forehead against yours, your breaths mixing together as you both tried to keep calm.  

A few weeks later, everything seemed to be back to normal.  There were no more flowers, no other notes.  You and Chris talked every day, just as before.  You were on the phone with the governor of California when Rachel ran into the office.  Flustered would have been the nice word to use.  She looked like she had been tossed by a tornado.  “Sorry governor, I have to be on the floor in a few minutes.  Send my office the proposal and I’ll see what I can do to get this to the committee.  I think you're right; we need to beef up the national parks act, and it should start with Yosemite.  

“Thank you, Senator.  We’ll see you for the Lunar New Year celebrations?” 

“Wouldn’t miss it.  Have a great day!”  You hung up and looked at Rachel.  “What’s going on?” 

“I’m so sorry Senator, it broke.” She handed over her tablet 

“What broke?” You took the tablet and focused on the screen.  And there it was, in full color was the photo.  With an amazing headline: 

DOES THE RISING STAR FRESHMEN SENATOR HAVE A SIDE JOB IN BOSTON? – IS THE HOT SHOT SENATOR FROM CALIFORNIA TRADING FAVORS FOR DONATIONS?  

You blanched as you scroll through the article.  It was still speculation that it was you but that it was clear from the photo that someone was caught in a compromising position inside of a car.  The news site was still looking for more information, but an anonymous source implicated the Senator from California as the woman in the photo.  

You could hear the office phones ringing as the screen blurred in your eyes.  You read the article title over and over, wishing it would change to anything else, anyone else.  Rachel could see you were starting to lose it as she was on the phone with someone.  

“I've got to get out of here,” you whispered.  It was like your body was now on automatic pilot. You stood up, grabbed your coat and bag and headed out the door. Your security team was trying to stop you, but you made it out the front door of your office to a barrage of flashes.  The press was already all over the scandal, shouting questions and taking pictures of what would be a rather stunned face.  Security from your office and the Capitol police surrounded you to allow you to walk to your waiting SUV.  Rachel had been right behind you, shouting no comment as you walked trance-like.  Robert had the door open for you and Rachel before climbing in the front and your usual driver, Edward, took off. 

“Senator? Senator, look at me.” You turned your face slowly towards her. “I am going to get you through this.  I’m trying to reach Chris or Megan to find out if it leaked from their camp.”  

All you could do was nod.  Four years of campaigning and working with other bi-partisan members was going down the drain as your phone kept pinging with more and more news outlets reporting the story.  It was the ultimate nightmare.  

The only solace was the security at your home.  Gate controlled, security had called the police to make sure the road was cleared, and cameras were everywhere. But it provided very little comfort.  All you wanted was Chris, but he was on set at the moment. Rachel was pacing, calling who she could to pull the story as you sat on your couch, leg bouncing, checking your phone every five minutes.  After two hours, a call came to Rachel.  

“Yeah.  Hi Stacy... Yes, we saw it...  No, we haven’t...  What do you mean?... That's not what he promised her... What does Megan... oh... well what is she... ok... I’ll tell her. Thanks.”  Rachel hung up and sat down next to you. “YNN, that was Stacy, Megan’s assistant at her firm.  Umm, she stated that Megan and she talked to Chris, and they aren’t going to be making a statement.  Since no one knew you two were in a relationship, there was no need to drag Chris into it.”  

“What?” You breathed.  “He... he promised to stand by me.”  

“I know sweetie but that’s what they have decided.”  

Your head spun.  You wouldn’t believe that Chris would do this. He didn’t even have the guts to tell you himself. You picked up your phone and sent him a message.  

YN: We just spoke to your management firm and know about your decision.  I thought we loved each other but I guess I was mistaken.  Don’t worry I won’t drag you into this.  Goodbye Chris.  

You went through your contacts and blocked his number. You did the same on your socials and put your phone down. “Rachel, what is the statement we want to put out?”  You put on your game face.  Your heartache and tears could come later.  

The next day, Rachel called a press conference in front of your office.  You chose to be yourself in a sharp black suit with a pink blouse and black heels.  It was your confident outfit, and you would need every ounce of it to make the statement you needed to make.  The makeup artist touched up your face and then it was time.  

“Good morning, let me first address the photo.  Yes, I did engage in some intimate acts with someone in a vehicle.  To protect their privacy, I will not be naming my partner ever.  Second, my security team is launching an investigation into the photo as we know it was not a member of the press who invaded my private moment.”  You took a breath, “I should have had better judgement in where I had my intimate relations at and used better judgement overall.  The blame for this is on me alone.  If my constituents are upset by my actions, I sincerely apologize.  I have strived to be an example to everyone and in this case, I wish I wasn’t.  The man I was with is no longer in my life and I would like to extend my apologies to him for this transgression.  I will be meeting with the chair of the Senate ethics committee for all punishments and/or reprimands that I have earned.  Thank you.  

You walked away from the media circus and back to the seclusion of your office.  As you sat, Rachel came to give you a hug.  Now you can mourn.  And you did just that.  

Chris’s POV 

The person you are trying to reach is not accepting calls at this time.  

Chris looked at his phone, heartbroken.  You had blocked him.  Chris watched the press conference playback with mixed emotions.  He was so proud of you for standing up and accepting responsibility, but he should have been by your side making his own statement.  He looked at the last message he received and called Megan. “What the hell, Megan! Why are we not standing next to her?”  

“Chris you are filming, and I hadn’t even had a chance to talk to you before her team advised us that she was going to make a statement.”  

“Who did they talk to?” 

Megan waited for a beat. “Stacy. Look Chris...” 

“Megan, I want her fired.  I told you she had been inappropriate with me multiple times and now this.  She wanted YN to break up with me because she thought I would go out with her.  I am in love with YN, and she just fucked that up!”  

“I know Chris, I’m sorry. I’ll fix it.”  

“How?  She blocked me, she’s angry.  She...” he took a breath because his body was vibrating with pain, “she took that bullet for me all alone. Her entire career... she did that for me.”  

“Chris, we will fix it okay? Let me handle Stacy.”  

“I want to be there Megan. I want to see her face when I say that I am in love with YN. I need YN back, Megan.”  

“I know.  I’m sorry. I’ll make the arrangements.”   

Chris hung up and looked though the pictures on his phone. His perfect girl. Fuck, he was the one who pulled over, but she was the one taking the hit.  As he slid through the pictures, one floated by.  Her calendar. He sat up straighter and a plan came to his head.  

A couple of days later, Chris was back in Boston and sitting in Megan’s conference room.  Megan was sitting next to him, both in silence as they waited for the last member of their meeting to arrive.  Stacy walked in confidently, a sway in her hips as if she knew Chris would be there and finally ready to declare that he too was also “in feelings” with her. After all, they had softly flirted when he was in the office. They had coffee together. He liked her and this was her moment. She flicked her hair back as she sat across from them.  “You wanted to speak to me.”  

“Yeah, we had a question.  Who gave you the photo of YN in the car?” Megan asked.  

Stacy’s smile faltered slightly.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  

“Did you know that all of your emails from your work computer are monitored?  Since that last hack, I had IT put in the monitoring service.”  

At that Stacy’s smile fell. “What?” 

“So, before we send this information to DCPD and congressional security, who gave you the photo?” 

Stacy blanched as she looked from Megan to Chris.  “Mike, one of the senator’s security guards gave it to me.”  

“Interesting.  And why did you give it to gossip mags?” 

“To break YN and Chris up.  She took what I wanted.” Chris scoffed as he stood up and walked to the door.  “Chris please! I’m sorry but I thought we had something!” 

“When?  During the scheduled meetings or when you were helping Megan on the red carpet.  I am in love with YN.  I hope she presses charges for the invasion of privacy.  Megan?” 

“Oh, right.  You’re fired, for cause.  You signed a non-disclosure agreement for our clients and their families which you violated the minute you sent the photo to the magazine.  Security is outside to escort you out.  Your personal belongings will be searched before they are mailed out to you.”  

“No, please...” 

“Have a good day Stacy,” as security walked in, and Chris and Megan walked out and headed to her office.  “I don’t know about you, but I need a drink.”  She headed to her sideboard and poured two glasses of whiskey, handing one to Chris.  “Have you been able to get a hold of YN?” 

Chris shook his head.  “No, she’s blocked me from everything. I got in touch with Rachel, but she said that YN has a ‘no calls allowed’ for me with her team.” Chris took a swallow.  “Said YN has been crying a lot in her office.” 

“Oh Chris,” Megan frowned.  

“This is all my fault Megan. I pulled over and I convinced her.”  

“Chris, this wasn’t your fault.  You are still human.  You are still allowed to have fun.  You both weren’t expecting someone you both trusted to violate your privacy.  You have every right to be angry.  You have every right to be sad that your relationship was broken by jealous people.  But you cannot blame yourself.  We are going to fix this, and we are going to get your girl back. Are you ready to do anything to show her you love her?” 

Chris laughed.  “I would do anything to win her back.” 

Your POV 

It was a few weeks after “picture-gate” and you were getting ready for the Valentine’s Day charity event. An event where you were supposed to make your debut with Chris.  Who is now your ex. “Fuck me,” you mumble to yourself.  You look in the mirror, seeing a woman who kinda looks like you, if she didn’t have red-rimmed eyes, shallow looking cheeks and a sad look on her face.  It had been hell without him.  You never realized how much comfort Chris brought to you. How his strong arms held you close to his chest, his heartbeat your lullaby, his voice a song.  You missed him desperately, but he didn’t want to stand next to you.  It makes you question whether he lied about being with a strong woman.  

You shake yourself and inspect your dress. The theme was love, obviously, so you had chosen a red gown, strapless with a sweetheart neckline.  It was tight in the bodice until it hit your waist and then flowed out in layers of chiffon.  Heels and diamond studs completed the look with soft waves framing your face. You sighed, wishing he had been there to see it, the dress you picked with him in mind. But he would never be there, he wouldn't come back.  He made his choices.  

As you arrived at the gala, sans date, you thought back to the last few weeks.  The person who took the photo was found, Mike, and fired.  Mike had been one of your personal guards since you started.  Apparently, when questioned, he took the photo to create a scandal because he was obsessed with you and wanted Chris out of the way.  Mission accomplished, you guessed, but not in the way he wanted.  Charges were filed, restraining orders in place, a press release later, and the scandal died out.  Some of the old guards still avoided you but the party and your constituents stood by you.  They held support rallies and feminist movements.  You were a woman, yes, but you should have been treated like a man. It warmed your heart a bit in the days post Chris.  

Arriving alone, you walked the press line, dodging questions that wanted to bring back the scandal and headed into the venue.  Your date, who walked in alone as well was waiting.  As patient as ever for Rachel, who is never patient.  Dinner was lovely, the jazz band playing romantic tunes.  You mingled with other donors and attendees, making the most out of the evening.  Finally, the special, surprise guest performer was announced.  

The host of the evening introduced Grammy award winning artist Harry Styles to the stage.  You loved him and sang along.  It was quite the performance, Harry doing all of his hits.  You sway with the music, a glass of champagne keeping you warm.  As Harry ends, Watermelon Sugar, the crowd cheers. 

“How is everyone doing?” Harry asks and the crowd cheers in response. Pushing his hair out of his eyes, Harry takes a breath.  “So, I got a call from a guy who wanted to let a girl know how much she means to her. See he messed up and asked me to help him tell his girl he adores her.  You don’t have to say anything honey, just know he would walk through fire for you and he’s sorry that you had to walk alone.  This song is for her.” 

You weren’t really paying attention; the words were beautiful, but you didn’t want to be a part of someone else’s declaration of love.  As Harry’s Adore You began to play, you felt a tear in your eye.  This was the last thing Chris had sung to you. 

 Walk in your rainbow paradise (paradise)  Strawberry lipstick state of mind (state of mind)  I get so lost inside your eyes  Would you believe it? 

You don't have to say you love me  You don't have to say nothing  You don't have to say you're mine 

Honey (ah)  I'd walk through fire for you  Just let me adore you  Oh, honey (ah)  I'd walk through fire for you  Just let me adore you  Like it's the only thing I'll ever do  Like it's the only thing I'll ever do 

You sway to the music, eyes closed, losing yourself to the music but the crowd starts to part as the spotlight follows a person across the floor.  As the last person parts, a gasp runs through the crowd, and you open your eyes. 

And Chris is there, in a black tux, holding a single red rose.  

You look around to see if he is looking at anyone else but no, it's you.  He walks over and takes the champagne glass from your hand.  “Chris...” 

“Not yet,” he whispers as he pulls you into his arms. He starts to move you across the dance floor.  

You're wonder under summer skies (summer skies)  Brown skin and lemon over ice  Would you believe it? 

You don't have to say you love me  I just wanna tell you somethin'  Lately you've been on my mind 

Honey (ah)  I'd walk through fire for you  Just let me adore you  Oh, honey (ah)  I'd walk through fire for you  Just let me adore you  Like it's the only thing I'll ever do  Like it's the only thing I'll ever do 

“Chris,” you whisper. “What are you doing?” 

“Shh.  Baby, just let me adore you.”  He spins you around and back taking a hold of you again, the only two people on the dance floor.  

I'd walk through fire for you  Just let me adore you  Oh, honey (ah)  I'd walk through fire for you  Just let me adore you  Like it's the only thing I'll ever do  (Ah)  I'd walk through fire for you  Just let me adore you  Oh, honey (ah)  Oh, honey  I'd walk through fire for you  Just let me adore you 

oh, honey  (Oh)  Just let me adore you  Like it's the only thing I'll ever do 

As the song finishes, he pulls you even closer so your foreheads touch as he sings the last of the lyrics to you.  You are trying everything not to sob in front of these people.  As the band slows, Chris pulls back slightly.  “I didn’t stand next to you.  And even though that wasn’t my decision, I still should have made a statement right away. You shouldn’t have done that alone and I am so sorry sweetheart.”  

“I just wanted to protect you, Chris.”  

“And I just wanted to stand behind my woman.”  He swallows, his nerves starting to show a bit. “I had something planned tonight.” He kisses your hand. “We have been together for a while, and it has been the time of my life. I have never been happier. Your dreams are my dreams, and your happiness is mine.  I never want to let go.  Because I adore you, I’d walk through fire for you.”  

He stepped back and knelt to the ground on one knee.  

You’re pretty sure you have stopped breathing at this point.  

“YNN, I love you so much.  And I want to spend the rest of my life with you and all our dreams. Can we take on the world together?” He popped open a little red box holding a stunning princess cut diamond solitaire. “Will you marry me?” 

Your face really doesn’t give anything away.  It is just a single tear that falls. Chris is starting to think this is a bad idea before he sees the smallest nod, before the biggest smile he has ever seen.  It was bigger than when you won your election. “Yes! Yes, Chris yes!”  You fall into his arms just as he’s standing. The crowd cheers as he swings you around.  

After a moment, he sat you down and took out the ring to slide it onto your finger. You look at it before you look back at your fiancé. He cups your face before he kisses you gently.  

And you’re home.  

The rest of the night was a blur.  The only thing that stood out was the call to your parents.  Chris had visited them before flying out to the gala.  He sat with your father and explained everything.  Your dad was satisfied that his little girl was in good hands and gave his blessing.  As you walked out of the venue, the press was relentless in asking about your and Chris’s relationship. Rachel and your security team keep them at bay as Chris keeps his arm around you, your head resting against his chest.  He got you into the car and Robert drove you away. “I’ve missed you,” you whisper. 

“I am so sorry, baby,” Chris pulls so you are seated in his lap, letting you bury your face into his neck. “Mike, he gave the picture to Stacy. She never told us anything about talking to you until it was too late.” He nuzzled into your hair. “I wanted to be here.” He kisses your head.  “I never wanted you to do that alone.”  

“I shouldn’t have... I should have...” 

“Shh, baby, you had no reason to not believe Stacy.  I wish you had waited but I still should have made my own statement.” He sighed as he leaned back on the seat and tightened his grip on you.  “But that’s the past.  You are my future.”  

“I can’t believe you proposed.” You stare down at the diamond on your hand.  “How did you know?” 

“Know what?” 

“Well, is that the ring I wanted or that I would say yes?” 

He chuckled.  “Honey, you don’t think I didn’t noticed when you would ‘airdrop’ hints to my phone when I wasn’t paying attention or when we would see jewelry on vacation?” He picked up your hand and played with the ring.  “You are never flashy or over the top, but you always sparkle.  So, when I went with my sisters and ma shopping, we saw this one and it just said ‘YN.’” 

The tears started to well in your eyes again. He really did know you.  

“Oh honey, don’t cry.” He cupped your face and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears.  

“I’m sorry, just,” you sniff, “it's been so hard without you.  And I, I just can’t believe you got Harry Styles to dedicate a song to me, to us.  The last time I heard it...” you trail off.  

Chris’s face softened. “Was the last time we were together.  I remember.” You pulled up to your townhome, and Chris climbed out, holding out his hand for you. As you walked to the door, he whispered in your ear, “I remember that I owed you a better time as well.”  He opened the door and you gasped. 

Candles, roses, and champagne were waiting for you in your living room.  A gentle fire was on in the fireplace, with pillows and blankets laid out on the floor.  As you took it in, Chris stood behind you, kissing your neck and shoulders.  “I don’t think I told you how beautiful you looked in this dress.” You moan as he trails his fingers over the top of your dress.  He nipped at that spot on your neck as he pulled the zipper down, his thick finger trailing down your spine.  

“Chris,” you whimper as goosebumps bloom on your skin, his wet, open mouth kisses setting every nerve on fire.  

“I want to worship you, my fiancé,” he growled as he let the dress drop, showing him the red lace strapless bra and matching panties and garter belt, you had on. “Fuck me, is this new?” 

“I bought it for you, and I never got the chance to wear it for you,” you replied, blushing.  

“You are perfection, my love.”  He sat in the chair.  “Twirl for me.” Still in your heel clad feet, you stood in front of him, just out of his reach and did a slow spin. He growled at your teasing as he reached for you, and you stepped back. “What do you think you are doing, Mrs. Evans?” 

“Who said anything about changing my name?” You giggled as his gaze darkened a little.  “I’m a little exposed baby.  That jacket and shirt needs to come off.”  

Chris stood but never took his eyes off of you as he discarded his jacket, tie and shirt, leaving him in just his suit, pants and shoes.  “What now, Senator?” 

“Sit,” you ordered, and he followed your direction quickly.  You grabbed a pillow and kneeled in front of him, sliding your hands up his legs.  He shuddered at your touch, leaning his head back as you undid his pants.  You tapped his hip so he could raise them, and you pulled down his pants and boxer briefs so his cock could spring out. You wrapped your hand the best you could around the base and pumped, getting his attention back on you.  You looked him straight in the eye as you licked the tip that had a bead of precome on it.  

“Fuck, YN,” he mumbled as you took the entire head in your mouth, eyes never leaving yours. You worked him, softly at first and then harder, slowing down again, much to Chris’s frustration. As you took him to the back of your throat again, you felt him twitch and suddenly you were on your back on the floor as Chris settled in between your legs. He got your bra off first, then the garter, nipping at your skin the entire time.  

“Baby, I...” You really didn’t know what you were trying to say.  Your brain was overloaded with the sensations on your skin. Chris was everywhere, everywhere, all at once and it caused the pressure to build.  Finally, it was just your panties and heels, but Chris made no move to remove either.  He ran his nose up and down your covered pussy, grazing your clit and getting what he wanted: a wanton moan from your mouth.  

“I love that sound, love.” Chris grasped the sides of your panties and slowly slid them down your legs and over the heels.  “I want these hooked around my ears,” he said.  “But for now,” he spread your legs wide, “they can hold you open.”  He kissed right on your mound and then dove in with his tongue, eating like a man starved.  His hands held your thighs open, not allowing you to find some sort of relief until he could feel you tremble.  “Are you close, gorgeous?” 

“I’m gonna cum, Chris, please!” 

“Cum, YN! Let me drink you in!”  His dirty talk always got to you, and it was enough for you to let go, a silent scream coming from your mouth as the world went dark. Chris didn’t stop, making it last longer.  He finally slowed and began to kiss up your body.  His cock was throbbing, needing to find its own release but he wouldn’t stop until he was buried in you.  Finally, he was on top, brushing a strand of hair away, looking down at his future wife, the future mother of his children. He teased your entrance before slowly pushing in. “Are you still...” 

“Never stopped,” you replied breathlessly, answering his unasked question about birth control. He bottomed out and you both groaned in relief to be reunited again.  He fits perfectly, molded inside of you.  

“God, still tight and warm, like I never left.” Chris pulled out slowly before slamming into you.  You cried out with each thrust, finally getting the relief you missed.  It was slow and torturous but oh, so good.  

“Chris, fuck, harder, please!” 

“Oh baby,” he cooed.  “We have all night.”  He sped up his hips to hit your spot inside over and over, but he felt you tighten, gripping him so hard it was becoming hard to move. “Let go baby.  Give it to me again. God, this pussy was made for me, gripping me, strangling my cock.  Milk me, my fiancé, cum now!” That was it; you cummed hard around him, triggering his own release, “Fuck YES!” 

He finally slowed down but never pulled out.  He rolled you over, so you were laid out on top of him, and he wrapped a blanket around you both.  

“Happy Valentine’s Day Senator.”  

“Happy Valentine’s Day, future husband.”  

The morning headlines were everything Rachel wanted and more.  An election to gear up for and a fairytale wedding for the future President and Hollywood’s leading man.  

WITNESSING A FAIRYTALE: DC’S GOLDEN GIRL AND HOLLYWOOD’S GUY NEXT DOOR CONFIRM RELATIONSHIP WITH A PROPOSAL! 

A/N: I wish this was America’s next royal family of politics. LOL. 

Taglist:

@patzammit @slutforchrisjamalevans @jennmurawski13-writes @firephotogrl74 @texmexdarling @tinkerbelle67

#andy's hea #andy's shenanigans #Chris evans #chris evans smut #chris evans fic #Chris Evans au #asp chris #chris evans story #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans x reader #chris evans x you #Chris Evans being a romantic #happy valentine's day #Valentines day chris #adore you

[twig-tea]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @telomeke and @waitmyturtles, thank you both for the tag!

Credit: this game was created by @thatgirl4815 as Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

I want you all to know before I start that asking for favourites is biphobic so you're going to have to ignore the places where I bent/ignored the rules about how many choices I was allowed to have. Also, this is so long, and took forever, I'm so sorry:

Favorite Thai QL:

I could caveat this until the end of time, but I'm going to go with the definition of "favourite" that's "has a special place in my heart" rather than necessarily "best"; and that's undoubtedly Until We Meet Again. I got very not normal about this show. When it was airing, I used to rewatch every episode before the new episode, and then rewatch the newly aired episode at least once before binging the show to date again. And I've binged it several times since. Sometimes if I need to cry, I'll put on the first 10 minutes and ugly-sob. This show felt like an apology and catharsis for years of built-up bury-your-gays induced trauma from queer media, in addition to a balm for all of the external relationship drama tropes in BL. I think I've talked about it around here somewhere before, how this show sets up all of the tropes for things that go wrong for couples in BL, and then everything is fine, over and over? And it was airing during the very start of the pandemic before the world was calling it a pandemic, when I was so worried about everything and governments hadn't caught up to being afraid yet, and I felt so alone, and this show over and over again said "it'll be ok", at a time I really needed to hear that. Plus it's got the whole epic-love-story-across-lives and the family acceptance redemption arc that as a still-only-partially-out-to-my-family-in-my-30s queer absolutely destroys me. Anyway, there are other shows that I would agree are as good or better (shout out to He's Coming to Me, I Told Sunset about You, Bad Buddy, Not Me, The Eclipse), but UWMA remains my fave (and gets two gifs for being top spot).

Favorite Pairing: I have seen this interpreted as branded pairs & as fictional couple, so I'm going to take that excuse to answer both questions. I'm honestly not a fan branded pairs as a thing and agree with @lurkingshan's comments on this, I tend to prefer it when people continuously work with different actors. That being said, JoongDunk seem to be having a lot of fun with the whole fanservice game, which is fun to watch for as long as they're enjoying themselves and continue to be in on the joke, which seems to be the case.

Fictional couple? Right at this moment I am still thinking about Khatha and Dome from Midnight Museum. I think this one hit me in my Chinese epics button, because the story felt a lot like a danmei (not the least because you could argue it reads as censored bromance). But this show asks questions about fate, God, the devil, multiverses, and then has its characters choosing to reject all of the above in order to choose each other? SIGN ME UP. Legitimately it's the most fun I've had watching a tv show in awhile, it was bananas, and I loved the journey of Khatha figuring out who Dome was in relationship to Chan, and deciding to love Dome as Dome, at the same time that Dome was also figuring out who he was, and deciding he preferred who he was when he was with Khatha. But also just Tor + Gun are incredible actors (Tor having been a stand-out since Hormones and Gun of course since The Blue Hour) and I would watch either of them in anything, but together they were magnetic (and evidence for my earlier point re: branded pairs, as much as I enjoy Off & Gun together!).

Most underrated actor: I'm going to say James Teeradon. He had a few small roles in Hormones 2 & 3, Diary of Tootsies, and The Stranded, and he had the main role in Project S: Skate our Souls and in Great Men Academy. First, I should say, you could argue none of these classify as BLs. Second, all of these have trigger warnings, so please take care of yourself and feel free to ask if you want content warnings. But he's one of those actors who never looks like the same person in each role he's playing, and he absolutely gives me shivers. His performance as Boo in Skate our Souls was legitimately chill-inducing--this one in particular has serious trigger warnings, I put off watching it for a long time because I knew about the warnings and waited until I was in the right headspace, and it still messed with me for weeks. But oh man, oh man that show, it rewrote part of my DNA. I don't even know that under-rated is fair to say since there was buzz around him when he was in these shows a few years ago, but he was trying to make it as part of a band for awhile and he hasn't been in much since. If there's one person I want to see in something else who a lot of other people don't talk about these days, it's James.

Cheating and taking the opportunity to choose a second actor from definitely-a-BL series: Fluke Chinnathan from Second Chance the Series. While Second Chance had a lot of flaws, the acting by Fluke and Tong was stellar. Their micro-expressions and body language was unreal. I feel strongly enough about this that I wrote an ode to it as part of the BL-Bracket for best kiss scene. No idea what Fluke is up to or if he even wants to keep acting, but I'd love to see him in something else--he's one of the only other actors (than James, mentioned above) that I'll go in to MyDramaList occasionally just to check to see if they're in anything new. PS if you do give Second Chance a shot, please know going in that Run and Games, real life brothers who are both actors, are both in this series but never in a scene together, and their characters are similar, so a lot of people have trouble telling them apart without knowing there are two different characters in the show.

(Also, I 100% would have said Suar for this question before La Pluie, because he did not get enough credit for You're My Sky and I think he was incredible).

Favorite Character: Honestly, I've deleted my answer to this so many times now. Choosing one is so hard! I'm going to go with White from Not Me. Incredibly loyal, strong moral values (but willing to break the rules/law to fulfil those values because he understands that law ≠ morality), self-sacrificing, extremely competent in some ways, but also has serious blind spots in others that leads to him making very silly choices especially around who they trust, lacking in self esteem especially around whether or not people will want him around. The way he chooses to give up his privilege--not for his brother, because he could have found a way to go back to his old life after everything if he wanted--because he saw what was wrong with all of it and decided to do what he could to help fix it (and not participate in it) is something that really resonated with me. I also love that he is an absolute marshmallow who cannot hide that fact. Plus White being a disaster bi who wanted Sean from the beginning endeared him to me forever. And it doesn't hurt that he's played by Gun Atthaphan

Favorite Side Character: I have also started and stopped this section so many times. Natty and her absolutely terrible taste in women from Diary of Tootsies, Na being at some points the only reason I kept watching Tonhon Chonlatee, Namo being smart enough to know to pretend she doesn't know what's going on in Not Me, Tong the ecovillage owner from Bad Buddy, Daisy and their incredible gender and mix of self esteem + self esteem issues in Secret Crush on You.

Alright I'm giving it to Dream in Something in My Room. I don't have good reasons for this; her character was artistic, had supernatural powers, green asymmetrical hair, and was stoic with a hidden dark past, and I am a simple woman. I wanted to know everything about her.

Favorite scene in a QL: How can I choose just one?! I'm choosing three and you can't stop me.

Third place, Not Me, with Sean and White under the pride flag. It has everything: It's iconic, it's cinematic, it's cathartic, it's political, it's a critical character moment, it has great music, it's full of queer joy, and it brings me so much happiness every time I see it.

Second: Dean and Pharm in front of the Pra Aphai Mani & sea ogress sculptures in the aquarium in Until We Meet Again. Partially because I love aquariums so much, partially because this sequence is one of the first ones we really get to see the hints of Intouch in Pharm. The way he moves around that aquarium is nothing like how he moves at school or his condo, and it's one of the things that struck me so hard on rewatch; while that scene did so much work towards establishing their characters the first time around, the second+ time it has so much more meaning. The throwaway line by Pharm about relating to the ogress now gives me chills.

Plus the way the aquarium scene got called back in I Promise You the Moon makes me really happy.

But first and top, the one that will forever live in my mind for the way it made me feel in my body: Teh and Oh-Aew on the rug in I Told Sunset About You. That moment, my god. Butterflies. Chills. Chewing glass. Devastation. I don't know that I've ever felt any other scene so viscerally; it transported me back to being a teenager and cuddling in clearly non-platonic ways with my bestie and wondering what was happening. Thinking about it now still gives me goosebumps. Maybe a bit of a weird choice because of the pain but I don't shy away from some pain in my faves!

Favorite line in a QL: Honestly I could put one of several meaningful quotes in here, probably the ones I've thought about most being the one from Bad Buddy that a few other folks have noted ("I may not be able to change the world but the world can't change me either"); and "can't we just get a little bit of space?" from The Warp Effect that I mentioned in my Silvy appreciation post. but the first thing that came to mind was this cracktastic banger moment from En of Love: This is Love Story that runs through my head every time a character P-Nong's someone when they don't mean it like that (and especially when newbies get confused about whether characters are actually related):

"'P' but not brothers; the way 'daddy' [said in English] doesn't really mean father. You get it?"

--Param, being a little shit (affectionate)

But also I think special mention needs to go to this new and immediate classic by Tien in La Pluie:

Most Anticipated QL (& why): I am very excited for 23.5 and Only Friends, also WuJu Bakery (does that count if it's Korean but starring Thai actors?) but....This is niche and might never happen, but MindTrio announced awhile ago that they were going to put out Chemistry in Love, which was either a sequel or related to Calculating Love? Listen, this is a low-budget production company making a slightly quirky trope-filled shorts that tend to have pretty cinematography but falter a bit on plot and pacing, and in Calculating Love the main character hits on his love interest with a series of math/graphing equations and coffee. I fully acknowledge that I am a particular kind of nerd, but I just really, really want to see people flirting with their Extremely Geeky special interests. Some sort of of follow-up to Calculating Love has been a maybe-thing since 2020, so it's most anticipated by amount of time I've been waiting. I have a list of 290 "upcoming" shows that may or may not ever happen so I'll stop there.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: I was very persuaded by @waitmyturtles' arguments re: King and Uea, and I thought about My Only 12% and even wrote a whole thing about Tinn and Gun from MSP before deleting it.

But I'm going to use this soapbox to give a hot take and say, by the end of the series, that it's Nuea and Toh from Secret Crush on You. Both of them have secretly loved each other for the whole series, and shown it in their own very unhealthy ways: Toh by keeping a collection of everything that reminds him of Nuea, and Nuea by being extremely cool-guy persona around Toh. But by the end, both of them have aired their insecurities about their relationship, and have committed to working on their relationship together. Toh stops assuming that they will break up (which Nuea explained was hurtful to him) and declares he'll fight for their relationship in front of Nuea's parents, and Nuea allows himself to be seen as very uncool through his vulnerability, and is more open about his uncool thoughts and feelings. I remember them being surprisingly healthy about jealousy too, once they're together, showing trust in one another when that photography club kid shows up. Nuea also makes a really sweet gesture that I think gets misunderstood at the end of the show; Toh explains that his collection makes him happy, that Nuea is more important so he'll give it up if he has to but he really, really does not want to. So Nuea finds a way to make the collection about them rather than about him, so that he can embrace it too and be less discomfited by it. I feel like there's not enough "meeting people where they are", and too many makeover fantasies in romance for my tastes. Instead, Secret Crush on You said listen, people are weird, and we all just need to find the other weirdos whose jagged edges fit with ours. And it's work figuring out together how they will fit, and they won't fit perfectly, but that's ok. As long as everyone is comfortable, it can be a little weird. It may be less realistic than say the way similar themes are handled in Utsukushii Kare, because behavioural change (especially around self-worth) is hard irl, but the question wasn't about which relationship is most realistic lol SCOY also said embrace cringe culture and I am here for it even if it is sometimes hard to watch because it is SO CRINGE; but I respect it for living its truth.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: Oof. I am a strong believer in "if it works for them, that's their business", as is probably evident from above, but the reveal of what was going on with King and Peat in Love Area (parts 1 & 2) was really next level BS and managed to be both toxic and ableist, so it gets a special mention and no gif.

Guilty pleasure series: I don't really subscribe to feeling guilty about liking things, but I have a bunch that don't get a lot of love and I fully understand why lol In addition to the example of Calculating Love above (which is like, a 6 on MDL, and TBH harsh but fair), I really enjoyed I Will Knock You. Maybe it was just the novelty but I loved the character of Noey so much, his vintage aesthetic, the amount of time spent around and in temples, and the most adorable closing credit sequence of all time (shows that have closing credit sequences that reflect the main relationship in the show is one of my favourite tropes!). The criticisms about it, especially the ones about the Thi character, are fully valid and I would not actually recommend it without a lot of caveats (e.g. warnings for blushing virgin trope + age gap, and sooort of glorification of gang membership?), but I had a great time.

Also maybe Y-Destiny episodes 9 & 10? Tohru and First as Kaeng and Puth, whew. I have a special place in my heart for storylines where the characters sleep together as friends with benefits and then have to renegotiate those boundaries because I've lived it more than once lol (Only Friends when?!). But the ending episode for the series was actually so offensively bad, I like to forget it exists.

Most underrated series: You're My Sky and He's Coming to Me have already gotten a lot of love so I'll just say YES to those. Would have said My Ride before this recent release to YT. Does Triage count if it's nominated for awards but nobody ever talks about it (probably because the distribution was so messy)? I think My Only 12% doesn't get enough love because of the pacing of the last episodes, but the rest of the show was SO good.

But I'm going to take this opportunity to get on a sandbox about Diary of Tootsies (spanning S1, S2, and the movie sequel Tootsies and the Fake).

This show is not BL; it is decidedly queer. There is no single love story, and if there is, it's undermined. And yet, because it's a comedy, it also gets overlooked in the lists of Important Queer Viewing (which is fair, honestly, that is not a read). But it means my blorbo of a show often doesn't get hyped up, so I'm taking the opportunity.

This show I would argue sits squarely in the by/for/about queers category as per @wen-kexing-apologist’s by/for/about Venn diagram. Watching it feels like a group hug; it's so very clearly written by actual queer people (even if this wasn't confirmed everywhere online, the screenwriter is out and speaks about this, but it's also just obvious) and I recognize so much of my friends and people I've known in these messy queers. It deals with casual sex, drug use, HIV, adoption, being closeted at work, and more.

It is also so funny. I didn't think I liked toilet humour until Make it Right and Diary of Tootsies proved me wrong. I honestly think about the scene with Natty and the handbag in the car approximately once a month. And the opening sequence of the sequel film!! What a choice for opening credits. And these queer friends are mean to one another, even in the moments they're being supportive of one another, and it is both familiar and delightful (also reminds me of this post by @bengiyo about whether viewers still love us when we're mean). The found family tropes are STRONG in this one, friends.

There is some fatphobia, though I always struggle with how much to warn for that because this show also has one of the only fat characters in QL who gets a character arc, a love interest, and to be a whole person. And to dance! The dance sequencesssss especially in S2, oh my heart. So much queer joy in this show in general!

Last thing I'll say about this show is that it also gets left off people's lists because the "main couple" if you can say there is one is not the one most fans were rooting for--I will admit, myself included. But the narrative convinced me to be satisfied with what we got, which is honestly to its credit!

Anyway TL;DR Diary of Tootsies makes me extremely happy and I'm glad it exists.

OMG ok I am letting this go now. Tagging @redxblueihateloveyou because you've not been active for awhile so this way you'll see this whenever you come back, and @formayhem because we are newly buds and I'd be curious about your answers! At this point everyone else must have been tagged by now, so please just consider yourself tagged if you haven't done this yet and tag me so I see it! I've been loving reading everyone's answers.

#thai ql tag game #until we meet again #midnight museum #joongdunk #james teeradon #fluke chinnathan #not me the series #something in my room #i told sunset about you #en of love #la pluie #calculating love #secret crush on you #diary of tootsies #i will knock you #not tagging the show because of criticism

[babyfairy]

hello…life updates lol

i saw the little mermaid with my mom and my niece (we went on my mom’s birthday 💌) and i loved it??!? i think halle was the perfect choice for ariel!! i was so enchanted by her mannerisms the entire film. she’s got such an otherworldly beauty so paired with her voice she REALLY looks and feels like a disney princess…loved her so much. no comment on awkwafina’s unfortunate addition to the film

we’re restarting one of our long running dnd campaigns and i’m pretty sad about it ❤️‍🩹 it’s the best choice because the setting was made by our DM a long time ago and she wants a reset because she’s improved her narration/lore/etc since its creation but it’s still sad and hard to let go. i’m really excited to relive some of my favorite moments with some new twists and i have a deeper understanding of my character now so i think i’ll only end up loving her more as i replay her. dnd with my friends is truly one of my favorite hobbies and it’s so important to me! there have been so many changes throughout the years i’ve played but i’m so glad to still be playing despite it because it’s very fun and therapeutic lol

i got a raise at work 🫨 not that it makes much of a difference LMFAO but i was seriously considering leaving my job before my raise so it’s nice to be making a little more money. the cost of living in washington is so insane that i feel really unsure of my future lol but it’s seriously my dream to own my own house. just a little one story house that i can call my own. i know it seems like a small dream lol but it’s literally my number one motivation and i’m always daydreaming about how i’d decorate my own home inside and out!!

i finally bought tears of the kingdom and i’ve been obsessed with it!!! not surprised because i loved breath of the wild lol. i love link so much he’s such a cool protagonist. always wanted to be like him when i was a kid LMAOO either him or sheik! i would say i’m more like a deku scrub…💀 like look at this fella…

like….???!!!! THATS ME…the lil angry face. love these guys. anyways i love the game LMAO i hit about 50 hours and realized i should maybe try tackling my first dungeon 💀 it’s just so much fun to run around and collect ingredients and koroks…plus i have a little pack of zelda amiibo cards so every day i hop on and scan them all so i can open treasure chests as a little treat…love it!!! i can’t wait to see king sidon again btw. that’s the light of my life

ever since my OCD diagnosis i’ve been avoiding my therapist (L) and struggling to really understand why but i think it’s because i feel guilty about being diagnosed LMAO…i have like this weird fixation on unknowingly manipulating/lying to others and my brain keeps trying to convince me i manipulated her into a diagnosis. i don’t feel like i have “real” OCD if that makes sense. and i feel this weird sense of guilt about making light of it or like taking resources from people with real, severe OCD. it’s frustrating because i know that’s definitely a symptom of OCD but i also feel like none of my symptoms are legitimate and they’re just delusions. it’s incessant. which like logically is that probably just a symptom of the OCD? yeah but i also am having trouble admitting that to myself for some reason lol. at least not without guilt or shame attached and i really try to avoid feeling that way if i can. anyways it’s a real pain in the ass and i finally sucked it up and made an appointment for tomorrow so i can try to talk through some of this with her

i’m up and down a lot, it’s been the worst year of my life i think lol but somehow i’m still chugging along 💀 every day i put the rainbow clown wig back on and march thru my day despite it all though so it’s whatever i guess. definitely going thru my saturn return and ngl so far it sucks and i definitely hate it but you know! my 20s have been Not Great so maybe my 30s will be better for it. hope everyone is doing well and staying safe. let me know what you’re up to in my inbox if you want! i always like when people message me their life updates lol. it’s sweet when people think of me as someone they want to update ❣️

[acethegaycard]

Do you ever just become down bad for a character? Imagine the havoc that would wreak in SAGAU... This is mortifying to admit but I legitimately put on my favorite love song for Kaeya as I was playing him. Listen I'm blushing like crazy disclosing this information, so please, how do you think Kaeya (and sagau tbh) would react?

(If nothing else, at least Xinyan would appreciate my music tastes.)

yes omg I do the same thing w/ Xiao 😭 literally have a playlist for him on Spotify lol. also that song is GOOD, its on my playlist now :)

Kaeya hmm....

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Most of the SAGAU characters consider you to be kind. You say positive things towards them when they do a good job, and you even compliment them often!

But, you seem to do those things more often with certain people. You act as if you adore some characters, they think you just like to exaggerate in your words when talking about them. But some start to think that maybe you favor certain people.

I mean, its hard to ignore the music's change in mood whenever a certain somebody comes on screen. Or your incomprehensible, fangirl-like squeals into the nearby pillow whenever he comes on screen.

Kaeya is one with some of the least visible reaction. Don't get him wrong, he's mentally jumping for joy right now. It's just with his attitude, people being attracted to him isn't a very new thing. Though, he'll gloat to others you favor less as if he had won the world cup. He doesn't mean to brag, but he is the optimal choice for one of your favorites. (he is indeed bragging, bragging to Diluc and getting kicked out of the tavern.)

Has a very small period of a flustered reaction when realization dawns on him, before all those feelings go right back to his flirty personality and ego. Everybody in Mondstadt is currently aware of your "subtle" feelings towards him. He tells himself that he's simple proud of this new revelation, but it's just an excuse for him to slyly brag about it even more. The man's become an absolute menace. He's managed to somewhat annoy almost all of the other characters with his bragging, this man will NOT quit.

He has to secure his place in your favor, of course. You'll notice that in battle, he's significantly better than before, even though you didn't even change his build. (in which I mean he actually crits)

If you go over his voicelines, he'll start being brutally honest. Will absolutely start throwing shade at characters you dislike. He feels more open to you now that he's aware you "favor" him. May or may not let one or two dirty secrets come from his mouth at one point. He just wants you to know that he dislikes them too. His own way of trying to make you like him more... by hating on people.

Sly mf suddenly has the charm of a god. Will try his absolute hardest to get you with a very dumb pickup line. He starts randomly appearing during commissions just to talk to you, and you think it's just a new game mechanism. Nope. It's him slowly ending up down bad for you. Oh how those tables have turned. But he'll never actually admit that. He'll just say its his "appreciation" for you. It's a bit more than that. Just a tad though, according to him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yeaaaaa uh take this thingy before i go back into my depression hole of no creative return and throw a meteor at my sleep schedule lol

#Genshin impact #genshin #kaeya #kaeya genshin impact #kaeya x reader #sagau #genshin x reader #sagau x reader #kaeya x you #kaeya x y/n

[imminent-danger-came]

Unhinged Anon here with a more lighthearted ask because that Macaque post reminded me how much I love thinking about his dynamic with MK. Of course, part of the reason for that is because there are numerous layers and intricacies that make it absolutely fascinating. But it’s also because, if I start thinking about it too long, they become one of the funniest duos in the show to me. 

And when I say funniest, I don’t mean they get the best jokes, or that their interactions get the biggest laughs. I mean it's hilarious to look at where they started vs where they are now, because it really makes you realize how spectacularly Macaque failed at not getting attached to MK.

Like… Macaque was not only prepared, but planning to manipulate, betray, and potentially kill MK in S1E9. He came into this series not caring about that kid, and his initial plan hinged on him staying that way.

And he did! Sure he liked MK fine, but he still went through with the power stealing thing. And he even threw in some cruel mockery. Which miiiiiiight have also been Macaque projecting on MK a little bit, but regardless! There was no hesitation, even when trying to kill MK, because Macaque’s hatred and bitterness towards Wukong far, far outweighed anything else. MK was just a means to an end for Macaque. A piece in a game MK didn’t comprehend, shall we say.

But then Shadow Play happens, and it becomes immediately clear that Macaque has already failed to stay completely unattached. Yes, he’s still clearly an antagonist here. He kidnaps MK's friends, forces them to attack him, and messes with MK’s head to what was probably an even greater extent then Macaque initially intended thanks to all those abandonment issues and LBD trauma.

But here’s the thing. There was NO REVENGE-RELATED REASON for Macaque to get involved here! Wukong was gone, and had been for at least a month or two by this point, and Macaque knew it. But he still decided to reach out because he accidentally went from ‘you can never have too many teachers, right? Haha aren’t I so nice, you can totally trust me :)’ to ‘you can never have too many teachers, and like it or not I’m one of yours’. He legitimately wanted to help MK realize some things about himself and gain some perspective. To keep MK from inadvertently becoming more like Wukong in ways MK would never want to be.

And then S3 happens. LBD basically turns Macaque into her bloodhound, and he goes from antagonistic but legitimately trying to make MK do some self reflection to antagonistic and willing to commit child murder. Only this time he is not having fun, and is partially rooting for MK’s team because LBD dying is a win in his book. He even tries keeping MK out of his way so he can free himself without having to hurt him in S2E9 (I’m still occasionally haunted by the genuine anger in Macaque’s ‘What? Make things worse for MK?’ to Wukong), even if it doesn’t work.

And then he finally regains his freedom just in time to hear MK’s samadhi fire speech. And that is the exact point where Macaque is completely and utterly screwed. There is no going back from that speech. From seeing MK say ‘Who cares about mortality, that’s my best friend!’ and refusing to abandon Mei even though it could cost him his life. He is now physically incapable of not caring about this kid, and he was already caring way more than he probably wanted to.

Which brings me to the moment that drives me most insane about these two because of its serious, but also comedic, implications. And no, I’m not talking about ‘be a warrior’, though that is one of my favorite MK speeches topped off with some great Dramatic Theater Bitch energy from Macaque. I’m talking about Macaque shadow portaling MK away from Possessed Wukong in S3E12. And I don’t mean that in an ‘aw, he saved MK, he really does care’ way.

Like, sure. We could focus on how this is the first time we see Macaque go out of his way to save someone *looks at his ‘look out for number 1’ speech in S3E8*. And we could talk about how portaling MK away was a pretty risky move for someone who’s normally very cautious, considering LBD could undoubtedly recognize his powers. And I could drive myself insane thinking about how the first thing Macaque did upon regaining his freedom was leave MK when he needed (or at least wanted) him, but the second thing he did was save MK when he seemed totally alone. Not to mention the fact that it was specifically Wukong (and LBD) that he was protecting MK from. (Don't think about how Macaque always seems to show up when Wukong has or is about to hurt MK, Don't think about how-)

But why do that when we could focus on how funny Macaque’s inner monologue probably was during that whole mess? I mean, Macaque’s bird form is already at the Wukong vs LBD fight when MK and Nezha get there, so he saw the whole thing. He could have stepped in to help Wukong fight at any time, and he just… didn’t. Now, we can all speculate why he chose not to, but that’s not what’s relevant here. What is relevant is that trying to imagine Macaque’s thought process during the whole thing is hilarious, because all I can imagine is that ‘X happens? I sleep. Y happens? Real Shit’ meme.

Like… Macaque is the patience and caution to Wukong’s impulsiveness. He watched that entire 2v1 without making a move. He saw LBD possess Wukong, and did nothing but observe and wait. He watched Nezha get absolutely obliterated, and didn’t do anything that would give himself away. But when MK’s thrust into the line of fire? It’s shadow portal time, baby!

It’s a legitimately selfless act on Macaque's part, and I do enjoy seeing the subtle ways he shows that he cares about MK contrasting with Wukong’s grand gestures of protection and concern. But it’s also really funny thinking about this powerful, super cautious, centuries-old loner with a history of betrayal and abandonment issues who came into this series ready to do whatever it took to destroy his best friend-turned-nemesis… and it’s the kid he accidentally became a legit mentor figure to while manipulating him as part of his plot to kill said kid’s other mentor that makes him start acting recklessly.

A kid who has been manipulated and nearly murdered by Macaque about as many times as he’s kicked Macaque’s ass, is the first person in… possibly ever to notice and call Macaque out for trying to be a ‘bad guy’ when his heart isn't in it, because he is not as dense as people think, is the student/fanboy of the guy who killed Macaque, and occasionally gives Macaque the wildest bouts of deja vu imaginable because he is sooo like his mentor but also just different enough to give Macaque hope that he can be better than both of them. Oh, and also he's a monkey now. Neat.

Their dynamic is hilarious. It’s sweet! It's full of so many layers, intricacies and parallels (ugh, the Parallels) that I tried not to get into, along with everything from MK’s perspective, because I really wanted this to just focus on how funny their dynamic is from a meta perspective. Truly, nobody is doing it quite like the soy sauce duo. Sorry for the absurdly long ask once again, and have a lovely day/night/whatever time it is where you are. waves from the precipice of madness*

I got you

My thoughts are going under a read more since the ask itself is so long (which thank you for giving me such an in-depth and delightful read EVERYONE GO READ WHAT UNHINGED ANON WROTE), so here we go!

Unfortunately I'm thinking too hard about all the stuff you told me not to, because Macaque being there when Wukong isn't is. Wooo boy.

I can only imagine what it was like watching this person who abandoned you do the same thing to his "beloved" student, and then watching said beloved student do a similar thing to his own friends.

Like, Wukong always going off for more power and immortality was out of paranoia right? Out of a fear of not being strong enough to protect the people he cared about? Out of a fear of mortality? And then MK not spending time with his friends and blowing off game night and distancing himself was ALSO out of paranoia for the imminent threat LBD posed. A fear of putting the people he cared about in danger (this is why 4x08 fucks so hard. SERIES LONG CHARACTER TRAIT. Anyways).

And then I just imagine Macaque watching all of that go down (he's bored and it's tuesday and it's time to go spy on/bully MK again) and seeing MK start to make the same mistakes Wukong did, and he's like "hold my bear" and has to step in and force MK to see what he's doing. Macaque was right, MK really is "that bit too much like him" but he's also still different from Wukong in key ways you know.

Which, it makes it so funny to me that Macaque is all like "MK you really are dense" about MK thinking of himself as the warrior, because it's like...Macaque. Is that not why you're here, because Wukong left MK like he did to you. MACAQUE YOU KNOW HE'S ALSO THE WARRIOR IN THIS SCENARIO. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. WE ALL KNOW HE'S THE WARRIOR.

But MK is ALSO the Hero, and he completely redefined what a Hero is for Macaque! Seriously, look at his face here:

(Right when MK says "We're heroes it's what we do!" is when this shot pops up. Screaming)

Macaque is DUMBFOUNDED that MK is so willing to risk his life for Mei in what seems like a completely hopeless situation. The fire is going to destroy Mei, right? Why reason with her, why try to save her, you can't do any of those things.

But MK does. And he does it despite what everyone else is telling him, what even Macaque himself is telling MK, and MK's refusal to leave Mei (which the hero is SUPPOSED to do to the warrior) shatters Macaque's world view to it's CORE. TO IT'S CORE.

Because, like, I think about 4x11 and how Macaque tried to reason with Wukong in his own completely hopeless situation, and how that didn't work—that was one of the inciting reasons Macaque started to believe "Look out for number one—because if you don't no one else will" right? But then MK said "hold my beer" and disproved something Macaque thought was an unchangeable fact, and then Macaque left before even watching MK go through with saving Mei.

And it's so funny how all that happened, and then MK gives his "then be a warrior speech:

Macaque: “Nice speech kid, but it’s not gonna-” MK: “Ugh, STOP! You keep playing at being this bad guy, acting like you’re just in it for you! But I know, deep deep down you’re not that guy. Help us. Make it right.” Macaque: “I’m not a hero bud-” MK: “Then be a warrior.”

(3x13 Time to be Warriors)

And here MK basically tells Macaque that "you don't have to be a hero or a villain you just have to help", getting us a little bit out of that "good guy" and "bad guy" false dichotomy, and then after all is said and done and Macaque tried to actually be a half-decent mentor in 4x10, he said this:

Macaque: "Point is, it’s time to start making your own choices—something I wish I would have learned a lot sooner than I did. You don’t want to fight Azure because people might get hurt, you don’t want to not fight him because people might get hurt--so do something else! Only you get to decide who you are kiddo.”

AND HE'S BASICALLY THROWING MK'S WORDS BACK AT HIM, OR AT LEAST THE IDEOLOGY BEHIND THEM, TELLING MK TO NOT FALL FOR THE FALSE DICHOTOMY, THAT THERE ARE MORE THAN TWO CHOICES. HE'S SAYING LOOK FOR THE THIRD CHOICE.

(yes this is all from my hero and warrior meta! I think I've definitely gotten better at writing stuff like this but I still think it's a good read)

4x09 also parallels 2x07 in a very unique way, where Macaque steps in while MK is being that bit too much like Wukong again, except this time it's because MK is isolating himself on flower fruit mountain.

And that interaction only get's even funnier the more you think about it, like one: Macaque was totally drinking Wukong's milk while he wasn't there and spying on MK again, two: Macaque revealed himself at the perfect time to insult Wukong being "a lazy peach eating idiot, ignoring all the worlds problems" and three: he immediately back tracks on his whole "snarky edgy monkey" persona the moment MK starts glitching. Look at his face here:

And then he's all like "play my video game!" which doesn't initially help MK, and oh my god. No one is doing it like them you're right. Macaque sucks at being a teacher just as much as Wukong. Like he didn't plan on being a mentor either. It's so funny.

#such quality MK and Macaque thoughts thank you #I give you a meme as compensation #and also my own thoughts lol #asks #lmk #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk MK #lmk Macaque #long post #lmk analysis #unhinged anon

[blazehedgehog]

Have you ever played Chrono Cross?

I own Chrono Cross! Chrono Trigger is one of my favorite RPGs of all time! I was psyched to play Chrono Cross!

I was extremely disappointed by Chrono Cross!

Chrono Cross feels like a game made almost to spite fans of Chrono Trigger. Vastly different art style, vastly different world, with a lore that basically says "Remember everybody you loved from Trigger? They're dead now. And they probably died tragic or embarrassing deaths."

It fills that void with a lot of incoherency. Because Cross hangs its hat on having 44 collectible party members, very few of them have any impact and basically never participate in the main story. The English localization is even structured in such a way that most of the cast pulls from a single library of side-character dialog that gets fed through an "accent filter" depending on who is saying it. Meaning 97% of the cast is not written to have any legitimate role in the story.

What story can be gleaned is a deliberately confusing mess of mysteries layered within mysteries, none of which ever get explained until the last 3-5 hours of gameplay. So you toil for 27+ hours not having any idea what's going on or why, only to get hit by a freight train of dense lore as you start to round the final bend.

I only know this because a friend explained it all to me once, about FATE and the lineage of the Dragonians and all of that late-game lore.

In truth, I got stuck in Chrono Cross and not even pouring over 3 different GameFAQ guides could get me unstuck. It was some event involving one of the versions of Captain Fargo, or at least that's what I thought I had to do. It was some time after the "switch" event with Serge (if you know, you know) and all the guides said I had to get Fargo to go back to Marbule or something.

But it never worked. He never budged. So I didn't know where to go. After a week of throwing myself at that problem I gave up and resigned myself to never finishing Chrono Cross. This was back in, like, 2002 or 2003, so faded memories by now.

Which I was fine with, because honestly, I was getting pretty bored to tears with the game. There's only so much "you don't know what's going on because it's a 𝑚𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑦" before you get tired of it, and systems-wise it wasn't grabbing me either. That was Square's "experimental" phase, where they were messing with (or straight up deleting) core RPG mechanics just to see what would happen. So Final Fantasy 8 screwed with the gear and magic systems, and Chrono Cross screwed with how you gain experience points and level up.

Which is to say you kind of... don't? Only bosses give EXP, so that basically means you're always guaranteed to level up after every boss. There's no reason to fight fodder enemies outside of getting item drops. Which would be great if they let you avoid most monster encounters, but they don't, so it just wastes time and contributes towards nothing. And battles get needlessly drawn out thanks to the elemental field system, too.

It's a gorgeous game, full of absolutely immaculate art direction. I'm a lifelong fan of any soundtrack with Yasunori Mitsuda (and I even have an autographed Chrono Cross songbook from him!) But anything about the story or gameplay is wet cardboard to me.

I keep thinking about going back to it, starting over fresh, seeing if I like it more now that I'm an older and different person. But I haven't gotten around to it yet. Like a lot of RPGs in my life right now it's locked behind the promise of "maybe after I finish Mother 3" which is going on two years now -- but I picked it back up this week and am rounding the final bend on that one, if you can believe it.

#questions #Anonymous #squaresoft #square-enix #chrono cross #chrono trigger

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

YOU'VE PLAYED DISCO ELYSIUM AND IT'S YOUR FAVOURITE GAME WHAT IS HAPPENING I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW ANYONE ELSE WHO EVEN KNOWS THE GAME I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHAT THE HELL

- @softgirlgonehaywire

MICKEY???????? THE WAY OUR SOULS ARE LITERALLY BONDED ATP 😭😭😭😭 DUDEEEE im going a lil crazy. plsplspls i need to know ur fave character…. and ur fave skill……. and maybe ur fave quote if u have one……….. its legitimately like my favorite thing ever ever ever that game changed my LIFE

AAAA and. u asked for poetry book recs in ur other ask so i am here to deliver 🙏🙏🙏🙏

first of all!! richard siken…. he has two poetry books out at the moment, crush and war of the foxes!! i used to prefer crush but now i like war of the foxes more. its rly just a matter of personal preference, both are super good…. i said this already but i associate literally every single poem of his w at least one jjk character. mostly gojo or geto or kenny or shoko (i am predictable)

for some reason u can find literally all his poems on genius psjfjs but here are some of my faves from crush (first three) and war of the foxes (last four)!!

straw house, straw dog // planet of love // wishbone

landscape with a blur of conquerors // self-portrait against red wallpaper // portrait of fryderyk in shifting light // glue

but siken aside!!! frank bidart my beloved <333 hes so weird. his style of writing is very unique and can seem a bit very odd but u get used to it quickly!! i love him. my absolute favorite frank bidart poem is half-light, i’m fucking obsessed u dont understand, pls read it. (its so satosugu to me) and then u can find some other poems of his here! coincidentally his writing reminds me a LOT of disco elysium which is. probably maybe why i love it sm in the first place LMAO

AND AND AND…. lastly. ive tried getting into franz wright but i didnt like the collection of his that i bought :’3 HOWEVER hes written this one poem i absolutely adore, dedication. its so so so good. ”it’s true i never write, but i would gladly die with you” // ”although i never write, secretly i long to die with you, does that count?” have permanently altered the course of my destiny

… that was probably a lot im sorry PJDKFB i didnt even mention clementine von radics…. she has an instagram account where she posts some poems i think. ive run outof links so i cant show some i like but </3 her collection mouthful of forevers is super good!!

#I HOPE U LIKE SOME OF THESE MICKEY!!! #i wish i had more solid book recs but i can never actually remember the books ive read… these days i mostly read plays and poetry #bc uni is making me read like 3-4 books a week lol (sounds of agonized weeping) #we’ve read a couple really good ones thoughhh so if u ever want more recs mickey im here!! #AAAA but i cant BELIEVE u like disco elysium thats crazy #harry and kim r my beloveds ever ever ever <333 and klaasje!!!! rené and gaston… i need to replay it hhhhh #ask tag ✩

[twistedtummies2]

THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM- you already know who it is, it’s me. Ya boi. ANYWAY!

What sort of activities or hobbies do your TWST ocs like to do in their free time? Could be with friends included but I was thinking when they’re alone.

Billy enjoys cooking. He's actually a surprisingly good chef, and he legitimately likes making different things. He also likes to wrestle: I headcanon there's a wrestling club at NRC in the time my OCs arrive, and Billy joins it within its first semester. Obviously that's something he can't really do on his own though. I also think he occasionally likes playing video games, and - when he is with friends - probably enjoys playing board games. He also genuinely makes a hobby of counting the treasure he has at his house, whenever home; he's a little paranoid about thieves, and it gives him something to do that keeps his mind off other problems. Nakoda likes to read, although I'm not sure what specific mediums or genres. (On that note, I'm an avid reader myself, so that's a common pasttime for several of my OCs, largely as a result.) I used to say Nakoda was good at painting, but I kind of go back and forth on that one, simply because Maelstrom is also very into painted art. Presuming I keep that canon to his character, that's definitely another hobby of his. I also like to think that, while Nakoda really isn't into Video Games, he IS something of an Internet junkie. Not so much social media, but more video watching and browsing, idling the time away with that kind of stuff. Finally, he also enjoys dancing and singing, but typically that's something better done with a partner, or at least an audience. Of course, Nako's favorite "hobbies" are a bit too graphic to describe here...and typically take two to tango with. Ahem. >_> Elias, of course, loves the theatre and loves to sing. He's also an avid reader, like myself, and enjoys a lot of genres and styles. He also loves drawing; he carries a sketchpad with him frequently. He also enjoys board games, and video games, from time to time, but typically only plays those with other people. Finally, he's a bit of cinephile and enjoys watching all kinds of movies, as well as listening to old-time radio shows here and there.

Reno is all about games. Whether it's on his own or with other players, basically gaming is his biggest hobby, and he plays all kinds of games. Video games, dice games, board games, card games, slot machine games, pinball games, billiard games...you name it, he probably plays it, or knows somebody who plays it, or just generally knows a bit about it. Ironically, though, he's not SUPER into sports; he's not an athletic kind of guy. Those are the only games he's not really into. He also has an ant farm in his room, so I suppose that's another hobby of his, if it counts. James is yet another avid reader, and particularly enjoys what could be considered classic literature. (Much like myself.) He also likes fishing from time to time, as well as sailing in general. I headcanon he has a little sailboat he keeps somewhere (not sure exactly where), and - when he has time - he'll take the little craft out to the beach, go off onto the water, and start fishing or just...set a course and sail around the island. Just to relax, so to speak. I also think that, much like Azul, he's a coin collector: a hobby both share. Finally, James is a very skilled and practiced fencer, so he enjoys that, but it's another thing you can't really do alone too often, aside from just practicing the motions or against dummy targets and such. Smitty has a pet parakeet named Little Tom, and takes care of him; not sure if that counts as a "hobby," but it's certainly something. (I only just decided this right now, and it's a reference to pirates having pet parrots.) He is, surprisingly, a bit of a gamer, but he especially enjoys games he can play online or with friends. Like James, he enjoys fishing; in fact, his father is a fisherman. However, he doesn't have a boat of his own. So, sometimes he'll go sailing out with James, and sometimes he'll just sit on the shore or beside a river or lake and just kick back on his own to relax and catch something. Like Billy, he's also a very good cook, although I think Billy might have a bit more experience with a variety of dishes compared to Smitty, who specializes primarily in seafood, steak, and a few side dish staples. Maelstrom likes to paint, and likes to sing and even compose his own songs in privacy. He also just likes listening to music in general, and enjoys reading - particularly books about art and the ocean. Like Nakoda, I also think he has a thing for nature documentaries...especially ones about whales. ;) Being a mer-person, he enjoys swimming, either in his human form or in his true form...of course, in the latter case, he can only swim THAT way by going down to the ocean. Theodore is a flying ace. He loves flying on his broomstick, loves the experience of flying. He doesn't just fly to compete, he flies because he likes doing it. So sometimes, much in the way James will go sailing around the island, Theo will jump on his broom and fly to some quiet part of the island to reflect or just take a few laps around the campus, or whatever. Once again, he's an avid reader, but he specifically likes reading informative texts about magic and its history: he's genuinely interested in magic itself and learning new tricks and tools of the trade, partially because he figures the more he learns, the more powerful he will become. Grit is a gem collector. He likes going into the mountains, or into the mines, looking for gemstones for his collection. Indeed, Grim enjoys hiking and other such things; he's not so much a fan of nature as much as he is a fan of earth, if that makes any sense at all. He can't tell you a thing about trees or mushrooms, but - being part Nome, and living most of his life underground - he knows a LOT about rocks and minerals. (On a side note, I weirdly think he and Jade would get along pretty well: both love the mountains, but for somewhat different reasons, and both would probably relate to and teach other a lot.) He's also big on exercise; he likes working out by lifting weights and going for a jog now and then. He's by far the most physically fit and buffed-up of all my OCs.

#ask #answer #q&a #disney #twisted wonderland #oc ask #ocs #billy #billy geant #nako #nakoda #nakoda spivak #eli #elias #elias inque #reno #reno rovar #james #james killian #smitty #smitty mccarthy #maelstrom #maelstrom baleno #theodore #theo #theodore hamilton #grit #grit gravelle #headcanons

[iturbide]

just someone following the discussion here, i wanna say i do love that the FE series has 100% improved with the colorism. engage featuring actual playable sincerely black characters who aren't ashen and aren't evil and are just Part Of The Good Guys at least shows the writers have learned something since engage. Having actual POC in the cast also makes Sombron being Purple a less worse design choice than whatever gangrel has going on. It's easy to harp on the ten year old game, and boy knows i criticize it myself (out of love) but it is heartening to see improvement from three houses to engage.

100% AGREEMENT

It really is easy to harp on Awakening for its failings and the stereotypes it perpetuates, but I think part of why we do it is because we love it so much and we can see how much better it could have been. We can see the damaging messages it inadvertently says and we want more from something that we love so much.

But at the same time, the series has come so far since then with its representation. Claude von Riegan, one of our main Lords in Three Houses, has mixed Fodlani and Almyran heritage, and he's open about the struggles he's faced because of it -- while still being one of the kindest and most thoughtful people in the series, despite his reputation as an untrustworthy schemer. He cares about his friends and allies and goes out of his way to avoid conflict and death wherever he can. He's incredible. Petra, Dedue, and Cyril may have some flaws in their individual writing, but overall they're wonderful, heartfelt characters with their own stories, personalities, and flaws that make them wonderfully human and engaging.

And then Engage absolutely shot for the stars with Solm: Timerra, Fogado, and their mother are legitimately some of the highlights of the game for me, with Fogado in particular ranking up there with Alcryst in terms of my favorite characters from the game (me and my archer lords, I can't help it). I was really worried that Fogado would stray into the 'shameless flirt' archetype that I hate, but instead he is so genuine and such a wonderful guy who cares about everyone and I love him so much. I'm honestly not sure where Zelkov falls because his skintone is on the odd side but also he is endlessly exploring hobbies and crafts and I love him, too, he has the exact creative spirit I want to cultivate.

I really am overjoyed to see how the franchise has progressed in terms of its representation over the years. I think it's still fair to criticize the older games (again, out of love -- it's definitely out of love), but I'm always delighted to acknowledge when they make strides to improve.

#answered #anonymous #fire emblem #i've been so happy to see the games changing over time #they still have room to improve #there's always room to improve #but at least engage moved forward rather than backward #can't say the same for other recent games

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

would you ever do a rant what each generation or your preferred ones did better then the others?

im an Emerald stan at my heart but hearing your shinnoh thing was very interesting

I mean my preferred gen is Gen 4 all the way- IMO No games before or since have matched The Peak that was Platinum and HGSS and I've played almost every single mainline game mutliple times- but I think every generation did at least some stuff better than other gens or have something to love about it.

As for RSE, I think the whole dive mechanic was fun as well as having two bikes, the Climax of the story is great in the way it envelopes the entire game world, and May is one of my favorite pokemon heroines.

RBY Has maybe the most exploits you can take advantage of, both bugs and combat system wise (Wrap+T wave or Toxic are ridiculously op) and as someone thats been playing since Red its impossible to beat for nostalgia.

GSC Is notable for having just a ton of content, and being the first to actually expand the lore of pokemon with the legendary beasts and pokemon tower and such. Fighting yourself from the prev game is still the basically THE hardest fight in mainline pokemon and an absolutely epic inclusion. Crystal specifically is where we got the gender select and is one of the most responsible parties for transing my gender.

To further expound on Sinnoh, besides just how immaculately designed it is as a region, the way it included and explored the religion of the pokemon world is just... *mwah*. So good. Cynthia is the hardest champion fight in the series and claiming the title from her makes you feel like you really earned it. Also HGSS is possibly the Ideal pokemon Experience. Whenever I think of the best of pokemon it is Platinum and HGSS.

Gen 5 had fun low hp music.

I think XY and ORAS had the hands down best addition to the combat system since DPPT's Phys/Spec split with Mega evolution and while XY's story was a bit lacking, Kalos was a legitimately fun region to romp through!

I loveddd how different the Islands felt in Alola and the trials were nice change of pace. Alola is honestly some of the hardest games to Nuzlocke due to them. Theres also an immensely diverse selection of pokemon even right from the get go that enables a lot of fun and different runs. The unique Z moves and Z Moves in General were a great counter part to Megas. Lily, Gladion's and Lusamine's dynamic in SuMo specifically were really intriguing, though USUM shat all over it instead of expounding on it.

The Open area in Galar was really cool to see and explore! I really like how Leon was basically a mainline protagonist himself. The Fossil pokemon were absolutely Hilarious.

As for Paldea... I've yet to get my hands on ScarVi actually! But Im sure I'll find plenty to love there as well~

#my gen V opinions are largely negative and I am trying to be positive here

[this-was-a-terrible-idea]

ALRIGHT BEAN YOU DIDN'T RESTRICT THE BOOK RECS ASK SO HERE YOU GO: 1, 7, 8, 16, 18, 20, 23, 42, 51, 60, 62, 77, 87, 90, 91, 121, 124!! (you can skip any that you don't have an answer for and repeat whatever you want also ahhhh the ask won't let me make a new paragraph but it's @bi-bats)

😈 nyehehehe thank u for all the questions ily @bi-bats. kissing u on the forehead for this

1) a book that is close to your heart: i talk about it a lot but The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. the first book that ADHD problem child baby bean ever read and felt Seen in 💕

7) a book you did not finish: losing my MIND about Husband Material by Alexis Hall. i WANT to finish it but i legitimately CANNOT get over the fact that the author made one of the characters a vegan for ethical reasons after he had a whole ass Moment about a bacon sandwich and Expectations in the previous book. it is SO stupid that i can't get past this but alas

8) a book you finished in one sitting: Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall! yes this is the aforementioned previous book to the book in the last question

16) a book you'd recommend to your younger self: i think i would be a cooler person in general if i read more gothic lit in high school. cool is a relative term btw. i'm recommending to my younger self: read more Poe

18) your least favorite book ever: okay so this one is probably a Required Reading in High School bias, but Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe 😩

20) a book that got you out of a reading slump: Game Changer by Rachel Reid

23) a book that is currently on your TBR: The Secret of the Grande Chateau by Dr. Cecil H. H. Mills! this one is @jayzelnut's influence

42) a book that made you want to scream by the time you got to the end: Vicious by V.E. Schwab. look at what you've done to me misha

51) a book that you found underwhelming: ACOTAR

60) a book that you think about at 3am: The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey

62) a book with a forgettable plot but amazing characters: im being a bit salty here but The Blood of Olympus by Rick Riordan. the characters are wonderful but the plot (and in some ways the writing) of that book was mid, especially for it being the last book of the series

77) a book so useless that you could use it as a coaster: i got legitimate psychic damage from The Change Up by Meghan Quinn. i gave it a shot after i read and loved the Game Changers series by Rachel Reid bc i thought i might be judging sports romances too harshly but i was not.

87) a book with a predictable ending: is picking a romance book cheating? Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston

90) the longest book you've read: given that the official english translation was split up into five volumes, i'm gonna go with MDZS, aka The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, by MXTX. i haven't tallied up how many pages it is but each volume is a decent size so i'm making an assumption that its the longest book i've read

91) the shortest book you've read: if we aren't counting the micro story Warm Up by V.E. Schwab, the shortest book i've read is Galatea by Madeline Miller

121) a book that makes you nostalgic: oh buddy, you guessed it! any of the og Percy Jackson series

124) the book you're currently reading: oh, so many. Chalice of the Gods by Rick Riordan, Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins, Just like Home by Sarah Gailey. AND VICIOUS! I SWEAR I WILL FINISH ANNOTATING IT FOR YOU AAAAAAAAAH

book rec ask game!

#thank you for asking!!! #i love ask games #ask game #bean speaks #book recs

[cipheramnesia]

You are the horror movie expert that came to mind, would you help me with slasher/horror movie recommendations for someone who hasn't seen slashers but wants to get started?

I'm ready.

So the slasher genre as a whole is huge, and populated by long running properties plus individual films. What you watch depends a lot on what you want from the experience.

In terms of "proto-slashers" (movies that were that served to inspire the genre but were not quite slashers), Texas Chainsaw Massacre is without question the greatest. Frankly it's better than most movies, full stop, and to my mind remains one of the most disturbing horror experiences of all time. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is also a fantastical bonkers movie and also not a slasher.

Now, the first true slasher would be Halloween, but the story is really concluded in Halloween 2, so you may want to do a double feature. Halloween is widely hailed as a masterpiece of horror and suspense, but I have to confess I'm four watches in and I don't get it. Your mileage may vary - even non-horror fans seem to agree it's an excellent movie, and being probably the first real slasher it should be watched for at least historical value. Nightmare on Elm Street is similarly praised (and a more interesting movie to my eyes), so you may also want to watch it as a foundational film.

Both of the above spawned long, long, too long running franchises, and the three kings of slashers are rounded out with Jason (Friday the 13th). That said, there's a reason no one considers Friday the 13th a masterpiece of anything except Tom Savini's gore effects (which actually hold up 40 years later). While Halloween and Nightmare on Elm Street have legitimate critical value, Friday the 13th is more in the region of something you would watch more for completeness' sake, but this brings us to the wide world of the franchises.

I've spoken about it before, but to my mind the Child's Play / Chucky series is set apart as the best overall quality franchise, pound for pound. I've gone into it in lengthy detail so I'll hold off for now and only say it's exceptional work (including the TV series) with only one real loser (part 3 [yes I also liked the reboot version]), and it's the queerest slasher franchise.

So for most of the 80s the big three and a variety of smaller competing franchises (Chucky, Maniac Cop, Sleepaway Camp, etc) dominated the screen. Come the 90s, Scream was the game changing self-aware metahorror that launched another dozen competing new franchises. That said, none of them are what you'd call a hidden gem. My personal feeling is that Scream was very effective around the era of its release but is such a product of its time that it becomes decreasingly less interesting every year. That said, I'm in the minority and there's no denying Kevin Williamson writes some snappy dialog.

Once we get past the 90s, it's less easy to see the forest for the trees and I'm hard pressed to note any few films as especially iconic for their time. So here's some other stuff from the genre I just think is interesting or good.

In the meta realm, my favorites are probably The Final Girls, Behind the Mask, and Jason X. Behind the Mask is particularly interesting insofar as it literally narrates many of the genre defining tropes for you.

Some unique takes on the genre are Final Girl (a woman who has been raised from a small child to hunt and kill slashers), The Furies (women are kidnapped into a game of survival where they have to survive a group of slashers but protect the one assigned to them), Vicious Fun which I also talked about at length, and my favorite Happy Death Day (Groundhog Day crossed with a slasher where the First Girl has to solve her own murder).

Dishonorable mention goes to Cabin in the Woods which tries to apply the slasher tropes to every single horror movie.

#horror movies #slasher movies

[fujii-draws]

Asking as many JSAB blogs I can find, what’s your favorite and least favorite level in the game? Genuinely curious as to how diverse the answers will be

(CLAPS MY HANDS) OKAY SO

FOR MY BELOATHED LEVEL. HANDS DOWN GRANITE. THE MUSIC IS ASS. THE RNG IS BULLSHIT. AND THERE IS NO ROOM TO DANCE/DASH LIKE A MANIAC.

As for my favorite level!! Took a bit of thinking BUT ITS DEFINITELY LYCANTHROPY.

Banger ass music, fun level design, SO MUCH wiggle room to dance, and most of all; THE BOSS DANCES WITH YOU. (While also throwing severed heads as an attack) I legitimately get so excited any time that level comes on.

#jsab #TY FOR THE ASK HEHE :3 #I need to get back on my shape grind at some point #but for now. I am in the clutches of pmd (positive)

[basedkikuenjoyer]

And now the big one. The first two as a set seemed like a good deal and worth trying, this one had me excited. It was a hunt to find it too! Even had some high drama for my young self. I think my brother stole some of the money I set aside for it, but I had enough spare change to make up for it. Nintendo Power mad the GBC rerelease look so cool, I could be a girl hero and there's a personality system that affects your stats? A human board game?

Now you're a party of four and aside from the main hero's special class you get to pick the other three! Leading to one of my favorite aspects of early Dragon Quest. The simple, elegant brilliance of its multiclassing system. You can start a character over at level 1 in a new class, with half stats and all spells/skills retained. A warrior who can double up on the handful of key buff spells. A speedy cleric. Making an absolute physical juggernaut out of the dealer/fighter. It's all possible and never that complex to get what you want.

Picking up from the first installment, this series may be simple compared to other RPGs but it is tight. As long as you are using your head a little, you can do wildly different strategies and they will all work. Maybe Dragon Quest games never have the massive spell lists counterparts like Final Fantasy do...but you know how those often have a couple dozen you never really use except once? That's not true in DQ. Most bosses will be susceptible to a status ailment or at least lowering their stats and the latter does it enough to be relevant. It might just be playing with numbers, and it's impossible to truly get without playing, but the design makes these boss fights have so much more of an exciting flow to me than more graphically impressive contemporaries and honestly what will follow for many years.

When you have rock solid mechanics like that, the game writes it's own stories. Like...last time I played a couple years ago I had a lark naming my party Kiku/Neko/Inu/Kawa(matsu). One dungeon that's never been iconic to me or anything took on new life as Kawamatsu was the sole survivor of the boss fight. Which meant my quick exit mage was dead. So Kawamatsu had to make a harrowing escape and it sticks with you. Or using my hero being Kiku as an excuse to try the Noh Mask exploit in the hero's solo dungeon. Now I'm going to say a word on the main story and the iconic twist, I'll hide for those who may want to try these.

I got to play these as a kid perfectly unaware of one of the most legendary twists in gaming. It blew my mind to finally beat Baramos and have more game left ahead...in Tantagel no less. Then we finally beat the real demon king Zoma only to find out I was Loto the entire time. This was a prequel, not a sequel. Which made the fact the world we started in reminded me so much of Earth even cooler!

That plus the legitimately good drama around the search for Ortega. It gets me when you come so close to a happy reunion only to have that dashed. What if you had been just a little quicker? Zoma was scary too if you're unprepared. Dragon Quest makes good use of buff spells and they're the golden strategy in this installment. So that iconic debut of the Icy Pulse ability that wipes them is backbreaking. Also love the Divine Dragon stuff in the post game for the remake. They went all out on that GBC re-release to a degree you didn't often see in those days.

#dragon quest #dq3 #draconic musings

[saintehigh]

pre relationship 1, 4, 6 for V + love 1, 7, 12 for sam

HI MIKA:D!!! jumps allover the room.

01 — how did they first meet?

my silly younger brother ( <- nick :D ) is rlly into photography.. & i am the awesome supportive older brother that goes to all his events and galleries sooo... personal hc that V visits photo galleries sometimes ( mainly student ones 2 give advice or use his silly little connections in the industry 2 help them progress bcuz he is nice like that . ) && we just...cross paths one day :3 aghhh, he shows up at a few more of the galleries nick happens 2 be in and one day he just comes up 2 me and is like. Hey. Ur sibling is pretty talented actually:) and im like..wow thank u haha, I Know. and then out of nowhere he offers to help my brother get a scholarship 4 visual arts / photography when he's college age and im like girl what. im in love with u I MEAN?! we should kiss. I MEAN ?!? im normal ^_^ woww ure so kind. AND ..idk i turn into one of those guys that uses their younger siblings endearingness into a way 2 get the girl ( or in this case guy💔😭 ) srry thhis is so long, i am fighting the cringe .

04 — who felt romantic feelings first?

me...i am cringefail for pretty boys & V is the prettiest in the world 💔 type of guy to error404 in real life if V even looked at me once i realized 💔💔

06 — if you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

V would just be...confused, lol. mainly since we meet like a year b4 the whole rika thing goes down so he'd just be uncomfortable with the thought of his supposed soulmate being someone other then her.

⠀

i dont actually believe in soulmates...neither me / my self-insert do actually lol. but assuming its soulmate in the least legitimate way possible i probably would not believe it either..like woag .... THAT GUY? r u sure. be serious. out of my league im telling u.... hopeful though

01 — who said “I love you” first?

sam definitely lol... im normally very like... casual with saying i love you with friends and people that like, i Know my relationship with whether it be platonic or otherwise; but with sam it was T_T... it was kind of confusing? cuz for awhile it felt like we were everything all at once and i did not want to get something wrong and accidentally mess up...and then one day we are walking home from the arcade on a perfectly normal & fine autumn day, sam's walking ahead of me it's fine. it's a comfortable silence; and then he just drops the "i think i love you ^_^." out of nowhere and i fucking die on the spot and never breathe again!!!

07 — what are their favorite things to do together?

umm ...mainly just like, Existing? like that comfortable kind of silence u get with friends when ure both in the same room together doing seperate things but not in an awkward way? idk that kind of Existing is the favorite of all favorites T_T. video games r also fun though lol, after introducing samuel to the world of gaming it's like...all he wants to do. he's rlly into the fucking dancing games its awful anytime we hang out together he makes us play DDR or fuckin' just dance and good lorddd he gets a better score then me every time T_T. which is fine!!! it is very fun 2 do 2gether haha

12 — what kind of nicknames do they call each other?

hmm... sam prefers calling others just by their name or shortened versions of it — actually one of like the only people who regularly calls me jackson & varian instead of just 'jack' / 'var'... makes me thing im getting in trouble every time /hj T_T

⠀

i am kind of awkward abt nicknames & petnames n stuff...cuz i dont want to be cringe. but, interchange between calling him snowy as a reference 2 what i called him when we were kids, and 'angel' bcuz...he is an angel but even if he wasnt he looks & acts like one, AMEN 🙏🙏🙏!!

#mika party ! crab rave #THIS WAS so long eueu #sorry if certain parts seem cringe or silly i am in fact both of those things and it will happen again . #HELP I FORGOR V'S TAG