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quinnsadilla · 4 months

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fluff alphabet |clarisse la rue

author's note: Hi lovelies, please send me requests! I don't know what gave me the confidence to think I can write, probably delusion. Also, this is according to my personal views of Clarisse so don't be mad if it's different from what you've imagined. Leave a comment, I love interacting with people, xx.

warnings: I tried my best to keep it gender/race/cabin neutral for the most part but there are still some feminine coded things here and there. English is not my first language so excuse any grammar mistakes.

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Starting off strong because with Clarisse sparring is a must. Although she doesn't like to think there will ever come a time in which she won't be there to protect you, it's still an essential part of life as a half-blood. And who better to train you than the daughter of war herself? And in case the apprentice becomes the master and you happen to beat her or pin her to the ground or even hold your dagger to her neck? Oh boy, she's done for. Actual heart eyes.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

She pretty much loves everything about you, she can't really just choose one aspect. Though, if she had to, she'd probably say she loves you for being supportive, understanding, and patient with her. You understand her better than anyone. That's what made her know you were the one for her. You can control her anger issues and calm her down when she's on the verge of exploding and she thinks that's beautiful.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc?

The art of intimacy or comfort never came easy to Clarisse. Her relationship with her mother isn't the best and hasn't been for a while now and her father is a grade A asshole. Her first instinct when you're feeling down is to fix it, to ask you who or what happened and give them a physical piece of her mind, but that's not always how it works. She'll pull you to her lap and hold you through the night or for as long as you need, wiping your tears and kissing your cheeks. She'll let you vent your heart out. You can tell her anything. Or nothing, if you prefer. She's not the best with words but her actions speak much louder.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

She's never thought that much ahead if she's being honest. Never allowed herself to daydream too much into the future, choosing to live off the present for now. Sometimes, however, she pictures what could be only described as an utopia; to go on such a fantastical quest that the gods can't help but grant the both of you immortality, that way you'd bask in the glory of your love forever and ever.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

On the outside looking in it would seem Clarisse is the dominant one for sure. And in some ways she is; she likes that you can rely on her, she wants to provide for you, yearns to prove herself capable of such. Still, you're the one in charge. Clarisse is completely devoted to you, and your relationship means more to her than anything she's ever felt before. She cherishes it like no other, always at your beck and call.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Clarisse is intense, that much we know. Her anger runs deep and her passion burns red. She's not perfect, and doesn't try to hide it either. She's hot-tempered, arrogant, she's got a short fuse and she holds grudges. Her fatal flaw is pride, which sometimes gets in the way of her good senses, so you'll most likely be the one apologizing first. Despite all that, she can't bear the thought of you being mad at her and absolutely hates fighting with you. It's like it's tearing her apart, especially if you're sad over something she said or did in the heat of the moment. Truth is, she is a fighter at heart so when all is said and done she'll try and make it up to you in some way, somehow.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

She is so appreciative of everything you do and are. As previously stated, Clarisse didn't get much love growing up so any semblance of that is something she clings hard to. She notices everything, every little thing you do for her and the underlying of your words. How you treat her and others is always stored in the back of her mind and she loves to be loved by you.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Clarisse is a very closed off person in general, she doesn't like feeling exposed and being possibly seen as weak. She'll tell you things but there's still some matters you have to pick up on your own and know how to approach them, especially regarding her feelings and personal struggles. She's very honest though, she feels like she owns you that much and appreciates you if you do the same for her. The more your relationship progresses you'll notice being able to read her like an open book because although she does her very best to hide it there's an underlying vulnerability to her behavior in certain moments you'll take proper notice of the more you know her.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Clarisse has definitely become more gentle since you. It still doesn't extend to your friends and family but more so how she behaves around you and knowing she doesn't have to put up that though front all the time. Her sense of self worth has improved as well, especially when you reassure her through her insecurities and doubts (never being the son her father wanted etc.)

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Oh, boy. Clarisse’s jealousy is very fuelled by… Well, anything really. She doesn't necessarily need a motive to go toe to toe with someone, just staring at you for a second longer than she deems them worthy of and she's ready for a fight. It's hard for anyone to get close enough to flirt with you because she's always there, by your side, kind of like a guard dog. But only because she knows how amazing you are and her insecurities do blurry some lines on what's acceptable. She's working on it though.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Clarisse is definitely a good kisser. She doesn't have much experience, if any, but she's a natural. It sounds cheesy but the first time she kisses you was like butterflies and church bells dancing loudly in the wind. The way she cups your face so uncharacteristically soft and how she breaks off the kiss with a series of small pecks only to smile one of her beautiful smiles so close to each other's faces… Magical. It could be at the fireworks on the fourth of July or it could be in your favorite spot in the woods, soaked in lake water during a midnight swim or after a heated argument. No matter how many times Clarisse kisses you, she'll never not feel electricity similar to her spear’s sharp edge digging into her body and soul.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Clarisse does not have a clue what she's doing. I feel like she'd say something in the heat of the moment; either confessing her true feelings or masking them by saying something hurtful she doesn't actually mean. In the latter scenario she'd storm off and berate herself over it but her pride and fear that you'd never look at her again made her put off her apology for some time and let it all sink in to talk to you when she's ready. That is until you start properly ignoring her and she nearly goes crazy with longing, just missing your overall presence and having her stomach turn to knots at the way things were left between you two. That's one of the few times Clarisse sucks it up and reaches for you. The apology is awkward but overwhelmingly honest and she tells you she's an idiot but you're content in forgiving her and giving her a second (actual first) chance.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Again, Clarisse never thought she'd live to see the day she'd actually have a marriage prospect. Her life just doesn't seem complete without you anymore and the moment she realizes that she's done for. It would probably be while you're laying in bed together, your head on her chest while you play with her fingers. Your eyes are heavy with sleep but hers are wide open, thinking. “Will you marry me?” said while staring into the distance and you probably think she's joking except Clarisse is not one to joke about that sort of thing. “Not now. But eventually.” and whether you ask if she's serious or just accept it right away, she'd look at you seriously for a beat and then tackle you into a bear hug, crushing you underneath her. She doesn't see the point in a big wedding, but if that's what you're into, she won't mind.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

She is not immune to babe or baby but would still like to keep some variety. Things like sunshine, gorgeous, angel or others (I'm looking at you, person who created the “mama/s” HC). She does like your name very much, or probably a shortened version of it. Don't expect her to not tease you if any of these make you flustered.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Clarisse likes to think she's good at hiding it when she's absolutely not. As Taylor Swift once said, you can hear it in the silence. Just the way her eyes soften when she's looking at you speaks millions, but people also get whiplash at how fast her mean attitude changes whenever you're around. Her love giving languages are probably acts of service and physical touch. She loves to do things for you, feeling all big and mighty whenever she can make your life just a little easier. Touching is also a must but we'll get to that in a second.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Clarisse is not very comfortable with public displays of affection, because she is afraid of being judged or mocked by others for being weak or soft. She prefers to keep her relationship with you private and intimate, but doesn't mind the little things. She does gloat about being with you as well as showing you off, so that everyone on camp knows you're hers. She brags about you all the time and I mean, seriously, all the time. She's not a big hand holder but she almost over compensates by grabbing at your hips and thighs, throwing an arm over your shoulder or hiding her face in your neck. She especially loves bonfires when you sit on her lap and she can hold firmly onto your waist while she's talking to her siblings or just press her forehead against yours when her social battery is low.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

She's very perceptive. She may not know what has changed right away but she's also persistent so she'll figure it out in an instant. If it's the way you did your hair or something that happened along your day, even if you change your usual greeting. She notices and she'll definitely ask you about it.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Clarisse wants to be loved, that's all she’s ever wanted, and she has so much love to give, therefore I believe she'll do just about anything to make you happy. That includes being an absolute sap. She honestly doesn't mind how cliche it is, if it works on you, you bet she's using it. If anyone cares to say anything remotely negative about you or your relationship she will promptly glare them into oblivion or give them something to really worry about.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

She is your absolute biggest supporter. Especially if you don't believe in yourself, then she's trying even harder for you to see just how well you can do something if you put your mind to it. With something like sword training she is more than willing to help you, rewarding you with kisses and cursing you for distracting her with your pretty face.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Clarisse doesn't mind change, she rolls with it. If you have a certain way of doing things, a routine you like to follow, that's fine by her. If you're unpredictable, even better. She just loves to see what comes next in terms of your relationship, not necessarily needing anything to amplify her love for you. It's already hardwired into her.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

She knows you like the back of her hand. Even the slightest furrow of your eyebrows or tilt of your head and she'll be there in a second asking what's wrong. She does learn to be more empathetic towards your own struggles, which was hard at first because she wasn't sure how to see things from someone else's point of view. Though road but you make it work.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

She doesn't have much to look forward to so Clarisse values her relationship with you very highly, as you are one of the few people who can see past her tough and aggressive exterior and appreciate her softer and more vulnerable side. She is fiercely loyal and protective of you, and would do anything to keep you safe and happy.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

I actually read this one on a Wattpad story a while ago so credit to the original creator but, Clarisse has a teddy bear named Mr. Muscles she's had since she was like, nine and she cherishes it like it's her most prized possession. When she introduced this piece of information to you, you just found her so incredibly adorable you couldn't contain the giggles and she gets so hot in the face she pushes you off her bed and it's honestly one of the most memorable moments in your relationship.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

I headcanon Clarisse as your personal furnace as well as a koala bear so kisses and cuddles are a must, especially if it's cold outside. She loves to take naps with you, it gets to the point where she has trouble sleeping without you (so you give her a vial of your perfume to spray on Mr. Muscles for when you're away).

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Clarisse with you: 🥰

Clarisse without you: 😡

She gets snappier than usual and easily annoyed but she'll also get really sad because she's never had to deal with being away from you. Her siblings try to cheer her up by shoving some kid's head into the toilet but she's so disinterested in anything that does not involve you she just goes about her days training until she can see you again and show off her muscles.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

The answer is yes, one hundred percent. “Touch her and you die” trope goes so hard. Not only that but she would willingly sacrifice the world and herself for you and your relationship. She would go out of her way to make sure you are okay, that you are fed and hydrated and well rested, even messing up her own sleeping schedule in order to take better care of you.

#* ༄ ꒰ effy's works ꒱#clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue fluff #clarisse pjo #clarisse x reader #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series #pjo

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pinegreenapples · 13 days

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Radiostatic Fic Recs

Do you like radiostatic? Are you looking for something good to read? Here are some of my personal favorites that I think everyone should read! As a reminder, if you don't like something listed, just don't read it! And don't bother the author or me! Staying in your lane is free! 😊

Finished works

Control + V

Vox and Alastor are on the cusp of a relationship but Alastor worries that he isn't enough for Vox. Val interferes.

Get Your Thrill Just to Get At Me

Alastor experiences a rut for the first time and Vox refuses to waste good dick on a panic attack.

Hold Me Like A Grudge

This one's ABO and pretty much just smut. Suppressants fail all over the city! Guess we gotta fuck!

Put Your Fingers Back to the Keys

Alastor gets publicly summoned by Lilith and Vox searches for him.

Escape Was Just a Nod and a Casual Wave

This one's a really cool predator/prey fic where Vox chases Alastor.

Keep You Like an Oath

Alastor sneaks into V Tower and discovers Vox's video logs. It causes a revelation.

Lucidity's Fog

Vox has one final sex dream of him and Alastor together.

How to Commission a Radio Demon Body Pillow (and other assorted things)

This one is based off a tumblr ask thread about Vox having an insane amount of Alastor paraphernalia. It's funny, but it is one-sided.

Would You Download a Demon?

Alastor tells Vox and Rosie that he sold his soul. Vox does something so stupid, it's smart.

Classic and Better

Oooohhhhoooo, this bad boy is what made me start writing again. The characterization of them is so good and I love it so much. Alastor tempts Vox back into his folds and Vox follows blindly.

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Alastor lays claim to Vox by biting him. This one is short and sweet.

Couple's Therapy

This one was funny and sadly too short. Modern day Alastor and Vox decide to go to therapy as a joke and it actually makes them realize a thing or two.

Bambi

I love this piece. It's cute! Vox and Alastor have two different versions of Bambi-their clashing interpretations lead to an adorable misunderstanding.

Joking Matters

Vox and Alastor got married to consolidate their power and have kept their relationship a secret since.

Obligations

Vox trades for Alastor's soul but it isn't at all like how he wanted. They both cope in their own ways.

Meant to Be Yours

This one's one-sided. Vox gets rejected and takes it really badly. An excellent piece exploring his side.

Bargains

This one is also so so so good. Alastor has a rut cycle and the only person who knows is Vox. However, Alastor hates that he has a rut and takes it out on Vox. Vox just wants to know what Alastor actually wants.

Spite

This one is delicious. It's based off the first episode where Alastor says he pulled a few strings to get the commercial to air. Vox demands that he act in a porno for blackmail.

Just a Slave to Your Instincts

Vox researches deer instincts and uses it very effectively against Alastor.

That One Tuesday

Similar premise to Classic and Better but it involves more of the Hazbin cast and the main plotline of trying to redeem sinners.

Vox and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Afterlife

This one is light on the relationship but funny. Basically, every rut Alastor goes fucking nuts and takes it out on Vox. However, no one believes him and they think he's going crazy.

666: Live on Air!

An excellent series that does a good job exploring the push and pull between these two and what a relationship between them would look like with all their hang ups and miscommunications.

Seeking Solace

This story plays with Dom/Sub designations and Vox is a sub who hasn't dropped in too long. He calls Alastor to help.

Radio Made the Video Star

I haven't fully read through this series but it is well written and I'm liking it so far!

Thawing Out

Vox is in an abusive relationship with Valentino. Alastor finds him one night by accident when he's mulling over his relationship. For the first time, Alastor notices that something else might be going on at Vee Tower and he has these awful feelings about it that he can't seem to shake.

The Pitch

Vox swaggers into Alastor's radio tower to propose a deal, he ends up limping out. Wink wonk!

Hypnosis, Live in your Bedroom!

This is inspired by the 666 hypnosis fic and it is quite good! It’s another smut piece of Alastor and Vox exploring his hypnosis.

Other Place

This piece is really sentimental. It made me cry and think about death. Basically, Alastor visits Vox on the anniversary of his mother's death and they talk through his many emotions.

This Wasn't on the Agenda

One-sided but funny! Vox and Alastor start a hissy fit in an overlord meeting about their brief sexual history together.

Staticradio Woodland Fun

This one's cutesy! Vox and Alastor are both mythical creatures experiencing rut and so they spend it with each other.

Feeling from Grace

Angel Dust comes to Alastor with some concerns about Vox’s wellbeing. Alastor manages to fuck it up, as he does all things regarding Vox and feelings.

Music on T.V. and Sex on the Radio!?

This one’s funny and sexy. After their little fight on air, Vox tracks Alastor down in his tower to have some good old fashioned fun.

Stay

Alastor can’t seem to let Vox go, even when Vox decides he can’t keep playing this game anymore.

Like Old Times

Alastor pays Vox a visit in his office after their musical spat to say hello.

Deer in the Backlights

This piece is nice in the way that it explores Vox finally getting closure from his obsession with Alastor. Val and Velvette set up a meeting for Vox and Alastor to finally fuck and get rid of their weird psychosexual tension. Vox wonders if this was really what he wanted all along.

198

This one is pure smut and it’s so delightful. Vox manages to mind break Alastor and turn him into his own personal sex toy. I also highly recommend anything by childishsadism, they write very compelling work!

Undisclosed Desires

Alastor and Vox get into another fight and Alastor finds he likes it a lot more than he thought he would.

To Be Yours

This is my own work! Alastor hears Vox open their personal frequency for the first time in years. Curious, he goes to find out why exactly Vox has chosen to break the silence.

Unfinished works

Addicted

Addicted is really good. Vox finds out he's been drugged by Val for decades and as a result has long term amnesia. He runs away and tries to reckon with a past he can't even remember.

Hypnotic

This one is a rape fic. Vox hypnotizes Alastor against his will and forces him to recount his first sexual encounter as he has sex with him.

Prey of the Video Star

This one is really really good! After the battle, Vox takes Alastor back to Vee tower, determined to finally make the other his. Alastor, weakened, struggles the best that he can even as the noose tightens around his neck.

Safe with Me

This one's good! It's a modern AU where Vox is a CEO and Alastor is a serial killer and podcaster. After separating as childhood friends, Vox and Alastor meet once again and find love with one another.

Equilibrium

Vox saves Alastor and accidentally creates a soulbond between them. This sets in motion a landslide of unexpected events between them.

The Answer is Yes

Okay, this one is extremely well written. It's a fascinating exploration of Vox and Alastor's relationship through a vignette style. It blends all sorts of memories with modern day and it's really cool. I like it a lot.

Bluest Monday

This one is so well written and the romance between them is absolutely heart wrenching. Alastor fears losing Vox to modernity, so he finally accepts Vox’s courting in an attempt to keep the other at his side. This decision has unintended consequences neither could foresee.

Hell’s Televisionary

This one is a really interesting take on Vox and his first few years in Hell. I’m really enjoying it! Vox is new to Hell and looking to make a name for himself. He’s also looking to reconnect with the elusive redhead that helped him when he first fell.

Rival Frequencies

Vox goes after Alastor after the extermination and patches him up. He discovers that maybe his feelings haven’t waned, and he tries to rekindle a friendship with Alastor again.

Tune On In!

This one is based off of an art post where Vox and Alastor got platonically married and details their life together.

Unraveling Emotions

Falling in love makes a sinner’s heart human again and their second death permanent. Vox has never stopped loving Alastor. Alastor makes a mistake and Vox nearly pays the price.

For my friends who liked my post, I hope this finds you!

@rae-does-stuff, @drakepad-luv-2000, @motherarts, @freakshowmemories, @bratpfanne-of-doom, @superpersonpatroleclipse , @nocakesformissedith , @coins-that-never-land , @matrixbearer2024, @dancingafterdark ,@pedi-bug , @starlightthenightwing , @unnecessarilysalty

#radiostatic #staticradio #staticlovetune

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naffeclipse · 5 months

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Slides in as another person who had a pet rabbit- hello hi lmao<3

Absolutely useless but interesting things about rabbits:

1. Their tails are actually longer than most people think. They just usually tuck them under their butts lol.

2. If you chase a rabbit their strategy is to run away as long as they can but if they feel that you're too close they fall to the ground immediately, pressing themselves down and blending with environment. Usually predators are so caught up in trying to be as fast as possible to catch them that they miss the exact moment when the rabbit just stopped running and the rabbit has a chance to flee!

3. When the rabbit is angry or annoyed they stomp. Yeah you talk to it and it just interrupts you by stomping with their back legs because how dare you.

4. They're also longer than you think. If the rabbit is comfortable in your presence they're going to lay down and stretch their body to a very long rabbit baguette kfkdjf

5. Some wild rabbits and hares tend to bury their young to protect them from predators who can sense their scent. They unbury them back when mom is back from collecting food!!

6. Day or two before giving birth mom makes a nest from her own fur, so the babies are not cold, as they're almost bald for the first few days fkjfjf.

7. Mine really enjoyed being squeezed! She could purposefully bury herself under my neck when I'm laying down so the weight is on her😭💕 Also tiny rabbit kisses!! Very small tongue<333

To be fair! Hares are so unhinged and different compared to rabbits. Live alone, don't burrow, babies are ready to survive from the day 1, females box males if find them annoying... Y'know, the usual nature things kfkdks. Anyway sorry for info dump, thought it could be interesting!

Heya, Xit! :D

Oh my gosh, rabbits are way more cuddlier than I thought. I love how adorable they are when showing their affection (and how that can vary!) I've heard of rabbit stomping before which is a great way to show agitation hehe

AWW TINY RABBIT KISSES! Gah, that's so cute! ;-;

Okay, it's so funny you mention female boxing males because I was just watching this video a few minutes ago (it's pretty old and has a lot of pixels but it's Arctic hares!)

youtube

Also opposite energy here of a male hare defending his female (thwap thwap thwap thwap)

#love all the bunny info #also just collecting all of this for of fox maws hehe #of fox maws #xitsen

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lovelycleon · 4 months

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Hello there

I recently had a horrific argument because some people can’t let a ship just be a ship. I genuinely have my fun and love for Cleon and it getting attacked was too much. However the person I got into a fight with also told me to count up 3 reasons why they should work. And I couldn’t believe that I had to think about it and it took longer than it should have. Out of curiosity…if you had to count up three reasons what would it be?

Hello!

I'm pretty sure I've already answered a question like this at some point, or at least the answer is spread out somewhere in several of my posts over the last 3 years.

But don't worry, I will try to make a short summary of the 3 things about Cleon that would make them work as a couple:

1.They have a lot in common.

Although their work occupies most of Leon and Claire's lives, through the franchise they have shown very similar everyday interests and hobbies:

Such as love for motorcycles. Capcom made Leon and Claire the official bikers of the franchise, always putting little references here and there in games and movies;

Their whole style. The taste for custom leather jackets, obviously, but also many other alternative outfits. Believe me, of almost all of Claire's costumes, Leon has one somewhere to match.

Even the same kind of sense of humor, with similar one liners, bad good jokes and literary references that I posted here many times before;

It would be easy to imagine what their life together would be like outside of work, on a daily basis with so much in common and the banter they have when they are together.

2.They have the same morals.

Despite following different paths in the fight against bioterrorism, Leon and Claire carry the same code on how to act in certain situations:

Like the idea that both have already stated about not giving up the fight in the name of their comrades who died alongside them (Damnation, Heavenly Island);

The strong will to protect those in need, like Sherry, Ashley and others, no matter how impossible the mission seems or what has to be done;

Not blindly believing in something and always questioning and digging deep when something doesn't feel right (Degeneration, Infinite Darkness);

Trying to understand all sides of the situation and even sympathizing with some of the villains they faced (Annette, Rodrigo, Jason, Buddy, Dr. Taylor and more);

Along with many others, sharing these characteristics can bring stability to their relationship. Having them always on the same page, knowing what each one stands for.

3.They can understand each other.

Besides the shared trauma in Raccoon City, Leon and Claire went through very similar traumatic events even on different missions years apart and, in one way or another, felt the same type of pain:

Being kidnapped, infected and subjected to a race against time to save themselves and others (RE4 and REvelations 2);

Having to see their superiors whom they trusted (and are somewhat emotionally involved) become monsters obsessed with power. (Neil and Krauser)

Being used, mistreated and framed... Leon by the government and its corruption; Claire (along with terrasave) by willpharma and later on by Neil and the FBC;

Witnessing friends sacrifice themselves for them... some even in a very similar way: like Gabe and Mike exploding in a helicopter while Claire and Leon can only watch;

Don't get me wrong, a lot of RE characters have trauma and they all can bond through that, it's undeniable. But here, about Leon and Claire, I'm not just talking about "what happened and their reaction", but also HOW it happened and the physical and psychological similarities of each event for them. As if the narrative chooses to create parallels between them.

And this opens the door for a deep interactions (like the one in Degeneration) that can add new layers to their relationship and find comfort in each other.

Now just let me give you a little bonus (because I would like to write a lot more, but that is already too far from the short summary I promised)

4.Their amazing chemistry.

Haters will always try to deny it (and that's expected since they are haters), but the chemistry between Leon and Claire is great.

Not just the way they look and smile at each other, but how they act together and how they care for each other. I mean, Capcom didn't write scenes like Claire's big smile when she sees that Leon is okay, or Leon giving up of himself for Claire's safety, or them flirting cracking jokes in the middle of a zombie outbreak, or running and screaming each of their name in despair as soon as they see the other is injured for nothing.

It's to highlight their chemistry. The chemistry they are writing for Cleon.

Again, haters will always deny it, because it's inconvenient for them, but it's there.

Leon and Claire love and care for each other deeply, they can have fun hobbies, overcome hardships and find comfort together. The entire basis for a healthy relationship is there, written by the devs at Capcom themselves.

We just need to wait and see what they do with it.

#claire redfield #leon kennedy #ask #cleon #claire x leon #leon x claire #resident evil #resident evil infinite darkness #resident evil death island #resident evil degeneration #resident evil 2 #resident evil darkside chronicles

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blues824 · 2 years

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Request: Hello! I was wondering if I may request a Shinobu Kocho! Reader with Black Butler (Ciel, Sebastian, Alois, Claude, +Undertaker & Snake.) The reader having her personality and hiding behind a cheery facade to hide the anger she holds against demons for killing her sister. maybe also her jealousy towards other people for having a stronger body, wishing she also had stronger body. (+her teasing Ciel)Her swordsmanship skills as well where it’s the reader adding poison to her blade to kill demons (in this case, demons like Sebastian and Claude.) But also having exceptional knowledge in the medical field and being a doctor Since Shinobu is heard to be very beautiful stated by Zenitsu to be able to “make a living on her looks alone.” I think the reader should would also be very beautiful (not like they aren’t already) and to a touch of elegance like a butterfly and just be very graceful and light on her feet. - @mistress-ofpink

This anime was actually the first anime I’ve ever watched. My cousin was scrolling through different streaming sites and we saw it and were like “ThIs LoOkS iNtErEsTiNg” and now I’m here… years later… on Tumblr… making fanfics about it. Also, the Undertaker’s name is Adrian, right? Could have sworn that was it but I’m second-guessing myself.

Thanks for the request, by the way!

Ciel Phantomhive

Mans knew from the get-go that you weren’t happy at all. As a person in political power, he knows a fair amount of politicians who fake a smile towards him and then complain that he’s super young behind his back.

Ciel wouldn’t say he particularly liked demons very much, but he likes them far better than angels. However, there are days where he would like to pair up with you and kill Sebastian for being annoying.

What he doesn’t appreciate about you is that you like to tease him. A lot. You tease him about being so young and so very short and how his temper was shorter than he was. He has scolded you on multiple occasions about this, but it’s never effective.

He understands your whole “wishing for a stronger body” sentiment. He too wishes he were physically stronger. After all, he has asthma and can’t do much. At least you can actually do something about your wish, Y/N.

You take over as his caretaker because of your extensive medical knowledge. After all, your descendants and siblings all were demon slayers and doctors. You’re also an exceptional swordswoman. You make up for your lack of physical endurance by dipping your blade in poison. He will often take you on missions to assist Sebastian in anything.

Ciel will admit that you are very beautiful. The first time you were called for your expertise in poison, he had his breath taken away. Literally. Mans had an asthma attack because you were so pretty. Then with your knowledge and how you were graceful in everything you did? Mans could have died right there if it weren’t for you helping him out.

Sebastian Michaelis

He also knows that you are very angry. He’s a demon, he can sense emotions. Also, he can read people and he can read you like an open book. He can see the slight strain on your everyday smile and the near-to-snapping glimpse through your cheerful attitude.

He knows of the demon who killed your sister. It is so unfortunate that someone as great as you had to suffer such a terrible loss. He understands that you have gotten a very negative impression of all of demonkind and wishes to convince you that not all demons are… horrible.

You tend to be a bit of a tease, often pointing out how much he acts like a father to Ciel or how he ‘runs a tight ship’ in the Phantomhive household. Sebastian knows that it’s lighthearted, so he will often tease back. All in good fun.

Sebastian is very strong. He doesn’t really understand the whole “I want a stronger body” thing, but he will be willing to lend an ear as he does his tasks. He will also be willing to give you a workout regiment and make you meals that could get you physically stronger if you so desire.

Like Sebastian is the ‘father’, you take over as the ‘mother’ of the household. You tend to be a bit more on the motherly side. Plus, your medical knowledge is held in high regard around the world. Your skills as a swordswoman aren’t something to laugh at either. You are basically a human version of Sebastian. You always offer your services to the Phantomhive household.

Sebastian knows that you are gorgeous. You’ve had to turn down many suitors because they always want you to quit your work to tend to them and their every need. You are always graceful in your movements and you always hold yourself with great dignity. Even when fighting with a sword, you are always so elegant. You're his beautiful butterfly, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Alois Trancy

I think Alois needed someone like you in his life if I’m being completely honest. While he remains oblivious to your anger, you understand him. You're motherly and nurturing towards him, and he can count on one hand how many people act this way towards him.

From what I can tell, he also despises demons. However, Claude is an exception to his hatred. He hopes that he can make you see him in the same light he does. He always mistreats his staff, but because of you he is starting to understand that that behavior isn’t acceptable.

On his good days, you both tease each other a lot. Of course, it’s nothing harmful. He will often call you his “wifey”, “future wife”, “honey”, or something along those lines. Not only is it a fun nickname, it also allows everyone to know that you are taken. You reciprocate these affections.

I don’t think Alois is strong either, but he doesn’t wish to be stronger because he has Claude to boss around. If he ever sees you sad, he’ll be sad too. Then you have to comfort him even though you are the one who was originally upset.

Alois is always impressed by your knowledge not only as a medical professional, but also as a combatant. He will continuously ask you if you and Claude could perform a jousting skit or something of that sort.

I feel like Alois was sick or something and Claude summoned you to help. The former was taken aback by your beauty and thought he died and went to Heaven because who is this angel?? You were just so graceful and elegant in everything you did in the Trancy Manor. Mans has heart eyes for you.

Claude Faustus

He too also knows of your intense anger and hatred for demons. It was amusing to him how you had to work with the thing you hate most. He sees how your smile falters when he walks into the room behind Alois. The rage behind those kind eyes could battle a demon’s.

Mans is kind of like the demon who killed your older sister. He’s apathetic: every emotion he shows is a facade. However, he wouldn’t do anything like that without a direct order. However, it brings a strange pain to his chest whenever he sees you distance yourself from him.

The teasing tends to be one-sided. You tease how Claude’s basically standing ‘in loco parentis’ for Alois. Very rarely will he ever oblige you and tease you back. When he does, it will be a nickname to try and get you flustered.

As a demon, he’s strong. He’s been on fair playing grounds with Sebastian, so yeah. Like the crow demon, Claude will lend an ear if need be. He would also help you train and have the chef prepare meals that could get you to a physically stronger state.

He appreciates your willingness to help around the Manor. From you, he’s learned how to ‘take it easy’. You often prepare different blends of teas that have different healing properties for the both of you to enjoy in your free time. When you are called away, you will leave him a few notes telling him how to deal with certain medical situations that are most probable to happen.

He finds you to be as soft and gentle as a butterfly. You always seem to flutter around gracefully, and it’s not something he sees everyday. However, you are fleeting like one, being a well-known doctor and all. If he had it his way, you’d have permanent residence at the Trancy Manor. He loves you dearly, and secretly wishes you wouldn’t leave.

Undertaker

Y’all are perfect for each other, I swear. He knows of the anger you keep hidden and manages to bring it out and help you. You both bring out the best in each other. However, he sees your strained smile whenever Sebastian enters the funeral parlor.

He also was the one to reap your sister’s soul. It was rather unfortunate that she had to leave this world at such a young age, but it’s just life. He understands that this is a serious topic, so he will never joke about it.

Teasing is like a competition to the both of you. Who can make the other flustered/annoyed first? You will walk around the building, calling each other ridiculous nicknames. You would tease him about his obsession for the dead, and he would make fun of you for your obsession with insects.

Adrian is pretty strong himself, so he doesn’t understand your insecurity. However, he will be willing to listen to you if you need it. And while it doesn’t seem like it, he grasps onto every word that slips from your mouth as if it was your lifeline.

Your medical knowledge is extensive and very useful in the funeral home. However, you are often called away as a famous doctor. Adrian always has a small pout whenever you tell him that you have to leave for a business trip. When performing an autopsy, you both will often finish each other’s sentences when voicing your observations.

Sometimes, Adrian thinks your beauty is misplaced. It doesn’t belong in a depressing place like a funeral home. He’s grateful that you decide to stick around and even put up a permanent residence in the home. Your kisses are soft but fleeting, much like the butterflies you love to observe. You both are the metaphor for Life and Death.

Snake

Now where have you seen someone like this guy? You are getting serious deja vu from this guy. Nah but seriously he can read you like an open book. He’s glad your anger isn’t directed at him, but you’re still angry and it’s kind of scaring his snakes.

When you tell him about your sister and that her death was the reason for your never ending rage, he and his snakes become a lot more understanding. Webster and Goethe slither around your arm and shoulders as their way of giving you a ‘hug’.

You tend to tease Snake about his shyness, and you make sure he knows that it’s all light-hearted. You would never even think of teasing him about anything he was super insecure about. You would call him endearing nicknames (i.e. Honey, My lovely Snake, etc.) to fluster him. You’d do the same for each of the snakes (who all love you a lot).

I’d say he’s around average strength, but if you combine his strength with his snakes, then he’s possibly the most underrated character in the series. He can’t do much about your insecurity, but he’s always willing to listen to you if you need to talk.

For your medical practice, this relationship is actually beneficial for the both of you. With Snake’s and Webster’s permission, you will collect a poison sample from the latter and create an antidote in case something happens. The former will admire your concentration and hard work. In exchange, you would do your best to learn how to speak to Snake’s snakes. They will all be super patient with you if you make mistakes. It’s that you’re trying that matters!

The first time Snake laid his eyes upon you, he could have fainted. You were just a blessing in his life and he thanks the stars that you would choose someone like him. Not only do you not judge him, but you admire his scales and you often trace them gently with your finger. Your smile immediately puts him at ease. When he asked you out, he used his actual voice. Mans is committed.

#black butler x reader #black butler #ciel phantomhive x reader #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #sebastian michaelis x reader #alois trancy #alois trancy x reader #claude faustus #claude faustus x reader #undertaker x reader #undertaker #adrian crevan #adiran crevan x reader #black butler snake #snake x reader

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exocynraku · 21 days

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hi! no idea if this has been answered, but have you considered how groups of seals think about queerness as a whole? are there trans seals? how do they perceive gayness or a complete disinterest in sexual relations (and, tying into this-seals who have no desire to have a partner, whether or not it's platonic?) no pressure to respond d: love ur little guys the gene sheet is so cool

Short answer: our human concepts of gayness and transgendism don’t properly/fully apply to caeseal societies because gender is not a concept that exists. It’s just never been invented. sex-based genders (boy and girl), masculinity/felinity and tradtional gender roles don't exist. The only thing that does exist is different ways seals will PERSONNALY refer to themselves (pronoun wise i talk about mostly). I say personally because the pronouns seals use are ALWAYS DIFFERENT! specifically catered to the singular seal! (with the except of it/its which you'll have to read my long answer for if you want to understand that) Our human concepts of asexualism/aromanticism/things akin to that DO exist but play a more prominent role in pods. Hunts are kind of an odd ball, lol. Long answer: caeseals and their relationships with sexuality and gender are a lot more different than ours, mostly because:

caeseals have little to no physical difference between sexes excluding reproducing organs. i'm still debating if i want to add any sort of sex-linked gene(s). this is very unlike most real species of seals but i decided on it mostly because i . Like it more than normal sexual dimorphism? that's sort of it.

with no obvious sexual differences there also isn’t really a concept of ‘masculinity’ or ‘femininity’, and traditional gender roles haven’t been invented.

and this all does play a part in caeseal society. how sexuality and “gender” both work differ between pod and hunt groups !

hunts: with mates being assigned, what we know as traditional romance is pretty much nonexistent. hunt seal romance is more akin to friendly rivalries.

sexual and romantic attraction really isn’t something that cross hunt seals minds. it does occur, but very few will act on them until later in their life (after they’ve mated, when they can do whatever they want). Excluding a distaste towards sex, which they’ll usually act on sometime after getting paired up by killing their partner.

the sex of hunt seals is known by the leader of the hunt. since they are the ones who choose pairings, they need to keep track of everybody to make sure pairings would be able to reproduce.

all hunt seals start their lives being called ‘it’ (it/its). this also works as a catch-all term if you need to refer to a seal you don’t know the gender of.

most hunt seals will eventually stray away from 'it' as they grow. there are many reasons one may, and i couldn't list them all. but, as they stray away, the terms they choose are usually entirely unrelated to their sex. instead, it's usually related to their fighting style!

all seals, no matter the group, attack by biting. but attacking is not all you need to know, especially in hunts. hunts teach all sorts of specialized moves, ranging from defense techniques, knowing your limits & how to use your differences to your advantage, surprise attacks, how to use your surroundings, etc etc. and a lot of seals have somethint they specialize in.

hunt seals use this when choosing how to refer to themselves. have you ever heard of kiki and bouba? how kiki sounds sharp and pointy and bouba sounds soft and round? hunt seals apply the vibes and feelings of different noises (letters) to the vibes and feelings of the thing they specialize in.

a seal who specializes in surprise attacks would go for something short and sudden sounding (ex: t/k/v/j), maybe a noise that'd instil a feeling of dread. (ex: ss/ee)

a seal who specializes in a battering-ram style charges to throw opponents around would want something that starts slower (oo, uu, aa, hh, gg) and ends solid, but not sharp. (d/g/b/m)

etc etc, i could make a million examples. hunt seals who specialize in multiple styles could use multiple pronouns or mix two together. if a hunt seal's style changes over time, so could how they refer to themselves.

what feeling a certain letter evokes does vary SLIGHTLY hunt to hunt, but that doesn't matter, and a hunt seal wouldn't introduce themselves to a seal from a different hunt. they'd just fight each other.

i’ll probably make a guide for what letters hunt seals associate different things to. but that’ll be later

pods: pod culture around relationships is a LOT more complex than hunts and is a bit hard to define. Gender is . still a bit complex but it’s definitely easier to understand than their relationships

similar to hunts, pod seals begin their lives being referred to as it (it/its). but the way pod seals figure out what terms they’ll be referred to as isn’t actually determined by them. as seals grow up, the people around them and the people they’re close to, usually immediate family, will start referring to them in different ways. whatever their family thinks fits them. as time goes on, eventually certain terms will fall off and others will stick. and eventually, usually when they’re about halfway thru their juvenality, one will REALLY stick. that’ll be how this seal refers to themselves.

similar to hunts, these terms are usually made up, but not related to sounds. they’re related to things that the seals family associates with them. usually physical objects/things or ‘vibes’. this is a little hard to explain, but eventually i’ll make an easier guide/make examples.

If a seal for whatever reason doesn’t like the term that’s been decided for them, they can ask for more suggestions/pick a different one their family recommended/make one up themselves/etc. It’s rare for this to happen but it’ll show up every so often.

Pods relationships are open and ‘cheating’ is not a concept that exists in their society. Seals who never end up in relationships with other seals do exist but they’re hard to find. Most seals are able to keep track of who they’re in a relationship with but those who like having lots of partners will occasionally keep lists.

Most seals end up in relationships with those who they grew up with but meeting someone totally new does happen. And when i mean meeting someone new, i mean both from a different pod and inside your OWN pod. This might seem crazy but, i think i’ve mentioned it, pods can get VERY BIG!!!! There is most DEFINITELY a chance there’ll be some seals you don’t meet for a long time or are only acquaintances with.

Pod relationships are pretty complex but CAN be understood if you put a bit of brain into it. The only relationship that’s not hard to figure out are familial relationships as those just work as. That’s my family. That’s not my family. Otherwise, pod seal relationships usually consist of offshoots of platonic, romantic or sexual. (ps: when i say platonic i don’t mean stuff like friends or acquaintances those are their own thing that word just how they do normally in real life) to give a few examples, someone could have a solely romantic relationship with another seal, but be open to romantic or sexual relationships. Someone could like romantic relationships but only with people they don’t know very well. I could quite literally go on forever.

But, when referring to another seal, pod seals will generally say ‘i don’t know that seal/we’re acquaintances/we’re friends’ or ‘we have a relationship/we are partners’ and then expand further or not depending on comfort. I’m not sure if i explained that well (like ive done with most of the stuff in this post putting my thoughts into words is brain melting) but i’ll have to cap it here before i die in some sort of way. But i’ll get around to making nice guides eventually, probably when school stops swamping me (who knows when that’ll be though)

#caeseals #ray talk

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windydrawallday · 2 months

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Long-PSA-short of sorts that's more a vent: I was always aware my behavior and way of expressing myself online can surprise many people, especially if they are not used to someone who uses the writing medium as a playful form to tell emotions in a very descriptive way as I do. I'm quite affectionate with words, yes. And I always beg people I hang with personally to let me know if some of that bothers them, curtly of course. So far there have been few instances of individuals confusing those signals with ulterior means, things I assure you there's nothing more than me being friendly and supportive.

Imagine idk an excited dog seeing its owner haha

Until the past week, I found myself being tackled by something that made me almost knock everything aside because it made me realize that probably I'm a walking trigger/squick inducer with even the way I wield words like "love" and "friendship".

Almost...

I'm pretty tolerant of whatever way people conduct themselves in this life, the only moment I flinch is when an individual assumes from my default behavior and presentation that I want to impose my way of life... And nopes.

This is simply how and who I am. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't search for conflict but for understanding. My language for expressing marvel and reflections is like this, never to make the other feel awkward or attacked.

So, it upset me knowing that by wielding this forever welcoming and lovable disposition, I can be something to fear and even despite... to some people.

But, you know? That means that my "love" and "friendship" lifestyle are not made for you, no reason to come back to me and point at it. Just keep walking if you have only rage and rejection to give as a reply to my point of view. Because by wielding rage and rejection, what you only do is burn bridges. To create conflict and assume imaginary antagonistic scenarios where there's nothing of that at all.

You can't create the world you wish to live in by burning bridges.

It took me a lot too to forge who I am right now. I even keep learning and chiseling through traumas and mistakes—kindness and patience taught me more than rage and rejection. And "love" and "friendship" are the bricks I chose to build those bridges. I know everyone else uses different concepts but in the end, we all build bridges. By creating bridges and inviting others to do the same, I expand not only my world, but the other's too!

Isn't that better than demanding to be this or that through a black/white flag of rage and rejection? I think so. And I understand perfectly we sometimes need to be blunt when marking our boundaries. Still, never justifies treating the other bad.

And if some of you find "fake" or distasteful the way I wear this flag of "love" and "friendship" I'm sorry: this place will never be safe for you then. The exit door is always open. Go ahead.

I hope you find your place and flags out there too, but don't forget that to do that you need to build bridges. If you don't want to call it "friendship" call it "glue" or whatever makes you comfortable, but don't kick people like me who fought with claws and teeth to reclaim those words and feelings.

Fight your fight by being a good example, not a bad experience that makes someone never want to deal with something like this again in their life.

"Any color you like, (in the end) they're all blue."

#windy squeals #im so sorry if i end upsetting someone with my point of view #with my expressive way to use words #or my overly dramatic behavior #its all real i swear these are all real #and you dont need to give me back the same level of energy #just be clear af and say what you need because i dont read minds #im tired of being seeing as a clown or be infantilized because of this #or feared like im a sort of vampire that sucks emotions because NO #or that im intolerant to people that dont follow those -normatives because believe me #im too very asocial to certain cues but intead of raging about them #i try to create new rules that fit better my way to navigate life #the only way to achieve what we want is by stating it gently #not setting on fire posibilities to create new connections and points of view #but i guess there will be always be people that prefer to live in a bubble and expect the whole diverse world to mold to them #and i say that as an aroace that used to be intolerant of the normatives that push my boundaries to the edge #but eh sometimes youll fight but most of the times youll need to dodge and learn to avoid bullets #listen if i sound ableist with this whatever i am then #im not perfect #gotta keep reading and relearning and updating my brain ugh

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hentyehottie · 2 years

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pairing: K. Bakugo x Chubby Black!Fem reader

w/c: 3k

c/w: 18+ MDNI

mentions of fingering, blowjobs, rough fucking, kitchen sex, stand and carry position lol, roommates, college au, fwb, you being a brat, katsuki falls in love at first sight lol,

chile this is all over the place but my beta told me to post it 😭 it’s kinda just a bunch of blurbs about you and bakubabe becoming roommates

❀

So, the story was he’d been kicked out of campus housing for blowing a hole through the gym wall and attacking Deku.

In actuality, it was him who’d been blown through the wall while sparring with the shitty loser, Deku still unable to fully control his given quirk.

It almost cost him his scholarship but after Deku begged and professors Toshinori and Aizawa pulled some strings—he’d only been reprimanded and removed from the on-campus housing in fear that he’d cause an insane amount of damage again in the future.

He found the ad on Reddit—$500 a month for rent and the only utilities were electricity and cable/internet, which would probably be split between him and the other tenant. Amenities included a full kitchen, washer and dryer and a full bathroom. The only requirement was that he was in attendance at U.A University, which he was, and a payment of first & last rent.

Of course he was going to jump on it, he was desperate and it was affordable. He even emailed the person who posted the ad, asking to meet as soon as tomorrow.

He paid the landlord with no questions asked, even after the unsightly security deposit was tacked on after running a background check.

He scratched his name onto every highlighted section, agreeing to live with a stranger for the next two and a half years.

***

Now, he did not expect said stranger to be so damn cute.

Cute chubby cheeks, full pouty lips and your curly hair was in a big poof on the top of your head like a bunny’s tail. You had to be at least a foot shorter than him, a tiny plump little thing you were. So damn adorable.

Well now he was absolutely sure he’d made the right decision. Who knows what some creep would do to a cutie like you if they had gotten the room before he did.

You greeted him with a hello and a smile. He responded with only a grunt as he lugged two duffel bags and a roller suitcase into the doorway.

He dropped them with a loud thud, turning to look at you.

“You my new roommate?” He asked, looking you up and down. Your attire was distracting—a small white shirt with your nipples peeking through the thin fabric and don’t even get him started on the way he could see your fat pussy print through your pink shorts.

“A hi, hey or hello would be nice.” You sassed, sipping from a pink drink. “I didn’t sleep with you last night.”

Looks like his bunny had a tongue like a scorpion’s tail.

“Hello.” He smirked, pleasantly annoyed at how your lips curled into a smile at the greeting. Almost like you wanted to bitch him.

“That’s better. Your room is the one on the left.”

“Gotcha, anything else?” He tried to focus his eyes on anything but your pretty face.

“Please don’t forget to put the toilet seat down, clean up after yourself and your company and lastly I’m not stingy with food, so what’s mine is yours, just please don’t be an asshole. If there’s not much of something please ask before you take it.” Your rules were simple enough right? Basic roommate etiquette.

“Ya think I don’t have any goddamn home training?!” Bakugo snapped, gritting his teeth.

You laughed at the angry blonde, he reminded you of an angry Pomeranian and it was actually quite cute.

He was relieved when you giggled at him. Some people took his snappy attitude way too serious, it was honestly annoying as hell.

You really didn’t mind the way Bakugo talked. You were probably just as bad, only difference was your mouth was slick as hell and he was just mean and loud.

“Do you cook?”

Your face lit up. “Yes! I love to cook.” Your smile was enchanting to him, almost made him want to give you one in return.

He shoved his hand into his pocket, pulling out an envelope. It was some extra cash, probably like a hundred bucks or so, since he had to draw extra money from the atm because the money order amount was only enough to cover rent and not the security deposit.

“Good. Use it for groceries or whatever. We can go together or…I’ll make a list.” His mouth and heart working against his brain. Words tumbling out before he could even think.

“Oh..uh, we can go together, since I don’t have a car.” You didn’t expect him to be so forward or so generous,

The blonde’s heart clenched at the thought of you being his pretty passenger princess. Maybe this roommate thing wouldn’t be too bad.

***

You and Bakugo as roommates definitely took some getting used to, since you’d occupied the unit alone for such a long time.

For instance, your weekday routine was set in stone, so like usual, by the time you entered the doorway you were already stripping . You left your black crocs at the door, stepping out of your scrub bottoms, pulling the top over your head the same time.

“Shit.” You sighed out, unhooking the bra you had on, breasts finally free as they fell out of the cups with a small bounce, rubbing the spot where the underwire kept digging into your skin.

Finally opening your eyes, you were met crimson and there he was, leaned against the wall, eyes glued to you like a lion hunting a doe.

You let out a shriek, using your clothes to cover your body the best way you could, shielding yourself from further embarrassment.

“Forget about me already, dumbass?”

Glaring at the blonde you scurried past him, seething at the shit eating grin on his face.

“You saw nothing.” You gritted out before running the rest of the way to your room.

But, as soon as you were gone the facade dropped and he ran his hands down his face, seemingly more flustered than you were. He’d never seen a woman naked before, outside of porn of course, and it just had to be you.

He hoped he hadn’t upset you, the look of terror on your face was just too fucking cute not to laugh at.

“Fuckkkk.” He whispered out, having popped a hard on in seconds.

Even Bakugo couldn’t deny how sexy you were. A pretty face and an even prettier body. You had a nice fuckin rack too, he was definitely an ass guy at heart but there was nothing wrong with appreciating a nice pair of tits every now and then. You were probably a double D cup since they had a natural lowness to them, he just knew they’d be nice and heavy in his large hands. To top it off you had big areolas and cute little inverted nipples that he’d love to coax out of hiding.

He didn’t know what he liked more— the sight of your juicy, thick ass bent over in a pink thong as you gathered your clothing off the floor or your pretty ass titties and how they bounced with almost every move you made.

The blonde trudged to his room, dick insanely hard and rubbing against his thigh.

Closing his bedroom door, he sat on his bed palming his dick through his sweat shorts. Taking his cock in his hand, he rubbed his thumb around the fat mushroom tip, shuddering at the sensitivity. He pumped his thick cock nice and slow, envisioning your beautiful body now that he could go off of more than just the illusion your tight clothes gave.

“Damn..” That was all it took for Bakugo to feel himself fall over the edge, thick ropes of cum painting his chest and belly as his body shook and his pants turned into slow ragged breaths.

Grabbing a couple tissues from the nightstand beside his bed, he wiped his stomach, chest and the tip of his dick before tossing them into the wastebasket.

Less than satisfied, he shoved his still somewhat hard dick back into his pants

Beating off to his roommate was not how he’d planned spending his first week in his new home.

***

Bakugo sat at the kitchen trying to take notes but he couldn’t even fucking focus. You were always on his mind, invading his thoughts every chance you got.

He wasn’t sure if he liked you, maybe it was lust, either way it was a fucking nuisance.

As more and more time passed, seven whole months to be exact, the two of you began to get very comfortable with each other.

Well, as comfortable as two hornballs could get without going all the way. Neither of you had ever brought anyone back to the apartment so it was assumed that the both of you were single. That was perfect because you two really enjoyed each other’s company, experimenting with things that were fun and worked well for your friendship.

Like studying together in the kitchen, sometimes Bakugo would take the initiative to create flash cards and test you.

Or the movie nights on the couch that occasionally ended with you in his lap, legs spread with two of his thick fingers deep in your creamy pussy.

And even the late night snack runs where you’d most likely end up with a mouthful of his cock in an almost empty Target parking lot.

He’d come to find out you were incredibly clingy too. If your classes happened to end before his, you’d nap in his bed until he returned, loving the scent of burnt sugar that stuck to his sheets and pillows. You loved his scent, since it was calming and reminded you of holiday sweets. Plus, you couldn’t fit his clothes so this was the next best thing.

He heard you softly enter the apartment, watching you stripping down at the door like you usually did until you were in a white, cropped tank and your underwear.

He also noticed you loved to walk around in nothing but tiny shirts and your panties. You’d been doing it a lot more lately since the weather was transitioning into those hotter months and you honestly reminded him of that silly little bear that loved honey.

“Hey.” He greeted first, something he began doing around the third month of living together.

“Hey.”

“What’s wrong.”

Something had upset you, he could hear it in your voice. He knew you like the back of his hand and you hated it.

“Nothing.” You kept your replies short but that didn’t keep him from pestering you. You weren’t upset with him, just annoyed at your dumb parents. You’d gone to see them, you hadn’t seen them in a while and you kinda hoped that they’d start giving you your full allowance again.

Instead they berated you, bringing up trivial things such as your weight and even the way you dressed. It was draining, they were draining, and you just wanted to be left alone right now.

“Fuck is your problem?”

Of course your roommate couldn’t take a hint, too stubborn and caring to just let you walk away upset.

Of course you wanted to tell him how you were feeling, but you hated the vulnerability that came with expressing your feelings. Plus, knowing Katsuki, he’d probably just yell at you and call you a dumbass for even caring about their opinions.

“I don’t have a problem Katsuki.” You rolled your eyes, more than annoyed at his tone. “It’s just school stuff, damn. Just leave it the fuck alone!” Was he really dumb enough to think talking to you like that would help?

“Excuse me.” You tried to slide past him, since he currently towered over you waiting for an explanation.

“Y’er not excused.” He pulled you back.

You yelped in surprise as you were shoved against the island, staring into his fiery eyes as he wrapped one of his large hands around your neck.

“Gonna talk to me?” He asked, staring down at you with those daunting crimson eyes. “Fuck off.” You rolled your eyes, pushing at his chest. Of course he didn’t budge, the 6’3 mammoth continued to peer down at you, brows furrowed.

His other hand trailed down, running two fingers up and down your cunt, catching some of the slick that had already began to pool there.

“Already soaking wet,” He shook his head. “Dumb lil’ slut.”

He spun you around just as quickly as he’d pulled you back, bending you over the island and pulling your thong aside.

Bakugo slapped his heated palm against your ass, the pleasant sting forcing a moan from your parted lips.

You heard the jingling metal of his belt buckle coming undone and your eyes widened.

“Katsuki, what-.”

“S’okay, I know exactly what you need babe.” He reasoned, pulling his underwear down and pressing his hard cock between your thighs.

The way you tooted your ass up didn’t go unnoticed either, attitude seeming to have melted away at the thought of getting your pussy pounded. The blonde smirked, shaking his head again.

His thick cock bullied its way into your virgin cunt, your already slick walls making it just that easy for him to slide right in like he belonged there. The squelch of your pussy was loud as he drilled in and out of you, showing you no mercy.

He reached his arms around, slipping his hands under your tank top to tweak your nipples and squeeze your heavy tits in his big hands.

“Mmmm..fuck Katsuki.” You moaned from the pleasure, loving the way he pinched and squeezed your sensitive nipples. He moved lower, spreading his warm palms all over your soft skin, stopping only to grab at the fat of your tummy.

You stood on your tippy toes, making you just tall enough to take his cock comfortably. The harsh slaps of his hips slamming into your ass, his grunts and your moans echoed in the small kitchen as he fucked you, gradually picking up pace.

He’d actually had a decent day, the academy usually kicked his ass on Fridays, and he wasn’t about to let your gross attitude fuck that up.

“This what you wanted, right?” He pounded your pretty little cunt, drawing out the most adorable little sounds from you.

He felt so good inside of you, like his dick was made for your pussy. Stuffing you full of his cock while he sent harsh slaps to your ass, brows pushed into a deep frown.

“Right?” He snarled, emphasizing his question with a particularly hard thrust, pressing his chest against your back and grabbing your jaw, twisting your neck so hard you thought he wanted to snap it.

You let out a strained moan as he stared at you with those darkened eyes, hips never faltering as he waited for an answer.

“Uh-Uhhuh.” Was all you could muster, Katsuki smirking at the way your eyes crossed and your jaw went slack in his hand.

“Yeah? Wanted me to fuck that nasty lil’ attitude right outta ya huh?” He placed a kiss on your lips, biting your plump bottom lip before he retreated back.

You nodded, vision clouded with specs of white as his thumb played with your asshole and his cock stroked that sweet spot in your cunt over and over.

“Katsuki.” You sighed out his name. “F-feels s’good baby.”

“I know,” He cooed, voice like caramel as he fucked into you, now at a slower pace. “Can’t have those shitty clinical’s stressing my pretty Princess out. How ‘bout you quit, be my lil cumrag instead?”

“Mhm, I will.”

It was like a switch had flipped and his sweet voice clouded your brain, making you forget all common sense. Right now you’d agree to just about anything right now as long as it kept his cock in you.

Bakugo on the other hand, a virgin less than five minutes ago, wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up. Especially with his cock now very acquainted with your tight, wet, warm pussy and wanted nothing more than to plant his seed deep inside you.

He unsheathed himself from your pussy, the cool air making him hiss as he spun you around.

He raked his eyes over you, taking in your fucked-out appearance. Tank top ill fitting and stretched out from all his pulling, slight bruising on your neck from when he held you there, your tear stained face was icing on the cake, and he absolutely loved it. A layer of sheen covered you, baby hairs now messily slick to your forehead , lips swollen and red from your biting.

He had so much fucking energy, must be the effects of your quirk. Yeah, it had to be the effects of your shitty quirk, even pre-workout never got him this energetic and all this stimulation at once felt so damn good. His heart pumped fast like it wanted to explode, blood flowed through his veins a mile a minute making his dick rock hard. Bakugo felt like he could fuck you for hours, but he knew his inexperienced cock wouldn’t allow it this time.

He lifted you as if you weighed nothing, locking his arms behind your knees and placing his hands on your fat, juicy ass. His wide palms dug into your doughy ass and thighs, giving you a nice hard slap every now and then.

Easing you down slowly, he splits you open on his cock again, feeding you dick inch by meaty inch until you’re filled to the brim once again.

The brawny brute handled your weight like the champ he was, lifting you with ease and it made your pussy so fucking wet. He bounced you on his cock loving your hot breath on his ear as you moaned and panted like a bitch in heat.

You couldn’t help it, as you were too deep in the throes of pleasure as his slightly curved cock kissed your g-spot with every single thrust.

“Mmmm Kats…g’nna cum.” Your sweet velvety voice spoke the lovely sentence he’d been waiting on all evening. You clenched and unclenched as he quickened his pace a bit, fucking you and himself to climax, cock slamming into your cervix so deliciously hard it knocked the wind out of you.

“Fuuckkk.” You held onto him for dear life, lips pressed against his as you made a mess on him, coating his cock in your cream. Burying your face in his shoulder, you cried out as he fucked you through your orgasm.

“That’s it…”

His thrusts grew sloppy and fast as he threw his head back. It felt so good, so good he almost contemplated filling you up.

But he pulled out, spurting out those warm ropes on your belly, some flying God knows where.

Before sitting you down on the cool granite countertop he slid a heated palm across the surface, warming up your seat. He grabbed a couple napkins to clean you up, watching as you leaned back on your arms, still sporting that blissful fucked-out expression on your pretty face.

“Now, stop acting like a spoiled fuckin’ brat and tell me what happened.”

❀

closing a/n: I hope y’all enjoyed it 😭 I’m still feeling iffy tbh 🫤 feeling like I wrote him too soft, ya know

#my hero academia #my hero x reader #boku no hero academia #katsuki bakugo x reader #black reader #bakugou x black reader #bakugou imagine #bakugou x chubby reader #bakugo x chubby reader #bnha bakugo smut #bakugo imagine #bnha x black!reader #bnha x reader #bnha smut #katsuki x reader #bakugou smut #bakugo katsuki #HentyeHottie

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esther-dot · 6 months

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IMO, I don’t think A stans who attack Sansa for her classism truly cares about it. I mean, they want A to be queen/lady (and there’s nothing wrong with wanting that) but such an ending would only be reinforcing the structure they’re critising.

And it’s great and important that A plays with lowborn children and tried to defend Mycah but that doesn’t make her a marxist revolutionary lol, it doesn’t erase her own classism. All nobles are classist, a few of them bother to treat peasants relatively well (the Starks, Edmure, etc) but that unfair system still exists. You can’t have nobility without inequality.

And I'll paste this one in too:

Unpopular opinion but if Arya’s stans genuinely believed in her as someone who isn’t classist, they would imagine her leading a social revolution that topples and destroy feudalism. Not someone who serves the conception of hereditary monarchy, serfdom (despite treating them with humanity), hierarchical social categories, etc. Arya as QITN would be a reformist, not a revolutionnary.

(These are so old, I can’t remember which post prompted them, apologies!)

So, I never thought more than being a good leader within the system was a possibility? During GoT they played up this idea that Dany was gonna change the system, "break the wheel," but that was mainly to hide the fact that going to war for a crown was a selfish thing to do, that she wasn't a hero for choosing that path. Considering how Martin has written about the tragedy of the Starks losing Winterfell, the little boys being chased from their home, I never imagined that his ending would involve a king or queen turning around and doing that to another noble child? IMO, there was never going to be any seizing and divvying up wealth.

In ASOIAF, it seems like the focus is much more on having a leader who will be capable of maintaining peace and delivering justice and taking care of some practical concerns. It never even occurred to me to expect an end to feudalism? So, yeah, I would agree that the most anyone could be was a reformist, but I didn't even think that was the idea (in the way fans would mean it) that Martin was tracking. It didn't seem to me that he was gonna do away with nobles, only that he was saying a good noble won't allow his smallfolk to be mistreated and wouldn't ruin their lives for the sake of a crown. I thought that's where the Robb criticism comes in. Robb should have chosen peace, not more fighting.

I also thought the good noble was being presented with Ned. Protect the vulnerable, be horrified by the death of the innocent, adhere to these personal values even when they are in defiance of what your world demands, even when it means betrayal of a "brother" or treason against your king. Obviously, Ned fell short of the ideal, but that's why his children will rise to power, because they have the same core values that Martin wants us to look at as good.

Personally, I think Arya being rebellious and kicking against the rules that annoy her is fun? My little sister was a tomboy, and I have sympathy for Sansa, but I'm amused by Arya. However, I do not attribute as much, uh, let's say, virtue to her behavior as others do. Nor do I attach the same amount of condemnation to Sansa (who recognizes class distinctions) that others do. To me, Martin used the Trident incident to illustrate how the class differences worked because it's a grievance of his that writers ignore them:

And that’s another of my pet peeves about fantasies. The bad authors adopt the class structures of the Middle Ages; where you had the royalty and then you had the nobility and you had the merchant class and then you have the peasants and so forth. But they don’t’ seem to realize what it actually meant. They have scenes where the spunky peasant girl tells off the pretty prince. The pretty prince would have raped the spunky peasant girl. He would have put her in the stocks and then had garbage thrown at her. You know. I mean, the class structures in places like this had teeth. They had consequences. And people were brought up from their childhood to know their place and to know that duties of their class and the privileges of their class. It was always a source of friction when someone got outside of that thing. And I tried to reflect that. (link)

With that in mind, I thought Martin wanted to impress upon the reader the severity of what the hierarchy meant, the prince can do whatever the hell he wants, the noble kid is in danger of being punished (Arya might have lost a hand, Sansa loses Lady), Mycah is killed. We were meant to understand, this world isn't ours. Arya in an important way, didn't understand how the world worked, not really, which is a tool the author was using, her grief and horror, to guide us through learning about station in ASOIAF. We needed to see and feel the disparity.

Obviously, Martin doesn't think that's a good system, but the author slapping us in the face with, “this is horrible but this is the way it is” doesn’t mean we’re to expect a total transformation of Westeros as a whole in the last few chapters of the final book. Martin wants to have some verisimilitude to (his perception of) medieval times, so imo, the idea was never turning Westeros on its head, but for people who cared to end up in control and be better. Not like a modern anarchist, but be good within the confines of that world.

Anyway, because of how many Arya fans hate Sansa/Sansa fans, I never did much with that side of the fandom, but I never had the impression they truly thought anyone would be revolutionizing things. It seemed to me that they believed her ending up QitN was revolutionary not in the sense that she would upend the system, but to them, having a girl who rejected societal norms come out on top felt like an important rejection of a traditional princess “winning.” I assume that's why so much of their focus is on Sansa and how she ruined Arya's life even though she and Arya have been separated for books. It isn't so much what the particular character will do as a leader, which theme is upheld by them ending up in a position of leadership, the "revolutionary" bit is determined by defiance of (what they believe are) genre norms, not societal overhaul on the page.

Now, if we accept that a total societal revolution is off the table in ASOIAF, and knowing that Martin opposes violence pretty vehemently, isn't in favor of imposing your will through violent means, how can someone who rejects society encourage gradual improvement? Wouldn't the "realism" Martin wants be found in a person, who say, can function really, really well within the structure of society but cares enough to try to make things better for others? Someone who can change it all from within because their societal position confers a certain amount of power, but also, they have a notable ability to win admiration, even when it is begrudgingly given? Someone whose compassion, even for enemies, is highlighted? Isn’t that someone who would be able to gradually bring about the kind of realistic change Martin would permit in his world?

#dot chat

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annalyticall · 8 months

Text

Thoughts on Attack on Titan

Me being 10 years late to things, I was recently convinced to watch Attack on Titan and I ended up binge-watching the entire anime (and reading the final manga chapters) these last two weeks. I had purposefully been dragging my feet about watching this show since I had heard so much controversy surrounding it; that it was sexist, pro-fascist, pro-nazi, pro-imperialist, pro-propaganda, and heavily anti-Semitic. All pretty good reasons to stay away from something, I think.

But then I saw a video about how the criticisms leveraged against it were not quite so black-and-white, and how the show was more complex than those labels gave it credit for. Admittedly, that piqued my interest. I want to come to my own conclusions about the media I consume, so I decided to watch it with an open mind and a discerning eye.

And boy did I discern... a lot.

I am recording my very very lengthy opinions about Attack on Titan and its manga ending under the cut, mostly so that if anyone asks how I feel about certain things portrayed in the show, I can reference them to this post. Here's a quick table of contents:

The Themes

The Good

The Bad

The Problems

The Characters

Conclusion (and why Jean is the best character you can't change my mind)

Anime and Manga spoilers ahead.

The Themes

Attack on Titan tackles a lot of different themes throughout the course of the story. Possibly too many. Right now, I'm listing the big ones I noticed here because I will be referencing back to them later. Also note I am stating these themes as they are presented in the text, not as my own personal beliefs.

The human desire to create meaning in life and death. Does dying for a cause give life meaning? If the cause is hopeless, would dying for that cause be in vain? Is it enough to know that the living will continue your legacy after death? Does honoring the dead give their life meaning? Is the gift of life itself meaningless if not used to ensure humanity's ongoing survival? Is it enough to simply exist? Characters that most embody this theme: Zeke, Eren, Armin, Jean, Levi, Hange, Erwin, Historia, Ymir (of the Cadets), Marlow.

Everyone is shackled to a dream. Does the desire to fulfill a dream make you a slave to it? Will devoting your life to a dream of freedom make you paradoxically a slave to the very ideal? Will the hope of achieving a dream drive people to do terrible things they never would have otherwise? Is true freedom in the ability to let go of a long-held dream? Characters that most embody this theme: Erwin, Eren, Levi, Kenny, Armin, Jean.

The corrupting power of love and loyalty. Similar to an enslaving dream, will blind devotion to someone (in a romantic, platonic, subordinate, or familial relationship) drive that person to do terrible things just to be with them or make them happy? How far can that love go? Is blind devotion even love? Is it wise to love if it creates fatal weakness? Characters that most embody this theme: Mikasa, Armin, Eren, Zeke, Annie, Reiner, Falco, Historia, Ymir (of the Cadets), Ymir (The Founder).

The cycle of violence is endless. As long as more than one person is alive on Earth, there will always be conflict. Is it worth fighting to break the cycle when the cycle is inevitable? Is it necessary to perpetuate the cycle in order to survive in a world that forces violence? Is humanity worthy of saving if saving it demands the loss of one's own humanity? Characters that most embody this theme: Erwin, Eren, Armin, Reiner, Jean, Floch, Hange, Levi.

The pursuit of truth and wonder are the driving forces behind humanity's ability to work together. Propaganda and the obstruction of truth might work to pacify the populace short-term but will always be defeated once people put in the effort to truly understand others and the world they live in. The promise of discovery and truth are invaluable sources of hope and ingenuity. Characters that most embody this theme: Hange, Armin, Erwin.

People are people. Everyone is capable of great evil or great kindness, regardless of what nation, class, or race they were born into. Everyone has strengths and everyone has weaknesses. Everyone is influenced by their own hopes and dreams. The recognition of these innate similarities is crucial for forgiveness and acceptance across boundaries. Characters that most embody this theme: Reiner, Jean, Eren, Armin, Sasha, Gabi, Falco.

There is no accurate measure of good and evil. Being a "good person" is subjective, based more on personal goals and cultural ideals than on a base standard for "good." When faced with a difficult decision, perhaps it is best to choose whatever option will cause the least regret, a measure that is unique to everyone depending on an individual's values and on unknown outcomes. Live a life you can be proud of. Characters that most embody this theme: Armin, Annie, Levi, Jean, Eren, Reiner, Gabi, Ymir (of the Cadets), Historia

As you might have noticed, I chose to summarize many of these themes in a list of questions, and for good reason: oftentimes, the theme is raising a question but is almost never interested in giving it a straightforward answer. Instead, AOT will often raise a question, and over the course of the story, you get to come to your own conclusions depending on how the characters act. For example, I listed Jean as a character that embodies "meaning in life and death." Does Jean give Marco's death meaning by honoring his memory and values each time he's faced with a moral dilemma? That's up for the audience (and Jean) to decide.

Compared to other shonen that tackles similar themes and questions, this freedom of interpretation was novel for me, and for the most part, I loved it. Fullmetal Alchemist is the only other shonen I can think of that I've seen that touches on similar subject matter, but the tone of FMA is not nearly as dark, bleak, or ambiguous. While I also love FMA, the world of AOT is much more harrowing to navigate, and I found it exhilarating to have my preconceptions of its world challenged at every turn. Such a thematic approach felt grounded since real life is also not so easy to navigate. Unfortunately, this also has a glaring downside, which I will discuss in my "The Problems" section.

The Good

The first 3 seasons and almost everything that entails. To be quite honest I have very little to criticize about this show before the basement reveal. The pacing is almost perfect and I was always on the edge of my seat wanting to know more. The mysteries are intriguing and, upon slowly getting more and more answers, the narrative either only raised more tantalizing questions or completely recontextualized previous scenes, constantly giving the show new breath. The action is exciting, the stakes are heart-poundingly high, the losses are devastating, and the gore is graphic and stomach-churning but I think it necessary to absorb the horrifying and hopeless nature of the setting, which serves to heighten the few victories the characters actually do get to experience. There also isn't much of The Problems yet in these seasons.

The music. The soundtrack is undoubtedly one of the best aspects of this show and is quality throughout.

Animation. While I prefer the fluid and expressive animation of the first three seasons compared to MAPPA's comparatively stiffer animation of the final season, MAPPA still gave plenty of jaw-dropping sequences for the most impactful moments.

A tragic, queer, CANON romance. The fact that Ymir is canonically lesbian is amazing to me if only because I haven't watched a shonen yet where one of the main cast is actually lesbian, let alone has a significant portion of screen time devoted to establishing her unambiguous feelings for another woman who also reciprocates her feelings. AND THEN their romance ends tragically in-universe not because it's gay but because of narrative circumstances that were simply beyond their control or understanding. "My only regret is not marrying you." How romantic is that?

Female character design. Specifically all the big noses. As a big-nose-haver it makes me happy to see women have big noses and still being seen as pretty. That, paired with the fact that women are hardly ever sexualized and are often portrayed just as strong if not stronger than the men was nice to see after being exposed to so many infantilizing and sexualizing shonen tropes. That said, there could have been more diversity in body shape and skin tone.

The setting (of Paradis). I am going to stress here that I strictly like the world-building of Paradis, which is the main setting of the first three seasons. Marley and the rest of the world after Season 3? I'll get into that later.

Erwin vs. Armin. I consider Levi's decision to save Armin over Erwin to be the true thematic climax of this story, and I thought it was exceptionally well done. I've seen endless arguments about whether or not saving Armin was the right choice, so I'll throw in my two cents: if you think Levi should have saved Erwin, you are Missing The Point. In this moment, Levi, a character who fights for the greater good but is not quite as pragmatic as Erwin and who has a deep hope for humanity's future but is not quite as idealistic as Armin must make an emotional choice here, not a tactical one. Maybe saving Erwin might have been better for the Scouts, but the truth is Erwin was selfish, and Levi had already come to terms with this when he told his old commander to "give up on your dream and charge to your death." Armin, on the other hand, had a pure and selfless dream about the world outside the walls, and that is what Levi decided to value for humanity's future. That is the symbolic meaning of that decision, not whether or not Erwin would have been a tactically better commander.

It is enough to simply exist. Manga spoilers for the final chapters ahead. I said this was a question raised by one of the main themes of the story, "Is it enough to simply exist?", and I was pleasantly surprised that the ending gave it an answer through the conversation Armin has with Zeke. After so much deliberation about genocide, sterilization, war, the inherent and unbreakable cycle of violence, and so many other depressing themes surrounding the depraved nature of humanity, having the main takeaway for the series be "we were put on this Earth simply to enjoy it and to enjoy each other" was a cathartic release. I know I'm probably going to cry when that bit is animated.

The Bad

The frustrating thing that is Eren Yeager. I suppose this is biased but I really do not gel with Eren. Even in his Season 1-3 era I did not like him and his one-track angry boy mind, only ever finding him tolerable during the Uprising arc when he got a healthy dose of humility which he immediately ruined with his pitiful self-flagellation in the midst of a dire titan battle but I digress. This characterization does make a whole lot more sense though when he enters Season 4, when all of his personality traits are only slightly twisted in order to make him the villain, ala Walter White. Didn't make him any less frustrating.

The frustrating thing that is Mikasa Ackerman. She started out great. Then Eren turned into a titan for the first time and things quickly went downhill. After that, it seems like her character was retroactively changed from being the stoic and protective older sister to being the blindingly devoted and fussy love interest. I might have been okay with it if she had ANY other defining character traits, or hell, even any relationships outside of Eren and Armin. Manga spoilers, but she doesn't even have a strong relationship with Jean, who she apparently marries in the epilogue. Between Eren and Mikasa being two of the three main characters, I unfortunately felt very little towards them which was a not-so-small problem in my enjoyment of the series.

The humor is... fine. I get it, a show as dark as Attack on Titan probably shouldn't try to be funny, nor would I expect it to be. Still, the few attempts at humor it did have fell flat for me, especially when a lot of it leaned on Sasha's potato and meat gags (and a really uncomfortable torture gag after the Uprising Arc? Hey, what was that about? That was kinda fucked up, right?) Now that I think about it, the hardest I ever laughed while watching this show was when Reiner nonchalantly tells Eren that he and Bertolt are the Armor and Colossal Titans simply because I wasn't expecting the biggest bombshell reveal of the story thus far to be so casually dropped like that.

The Titan mechanics got so fucking convoluted. Don't get me wrong I love a good mystery and I don't necessarily mind the supernatural time-warping twists that the Titan storyline took up to a point. It's just that the story kept adding so many conditions to Titan powers and lore that it was getting hard to keep track of it all. Okay, so the Colossal Titan will create an unavoidable nuke during transformation even though it clearly didn't do that at the raid on Trost, sure. Okay, so Reiner can survive a fatal injury to his person as long as he manages to transfer his consciousness to the Titan body first, sure. Okay, so Eren can't awaken the Founding Titan's ability unless he's in contact with someone of royal blood, sure. Okay, so the Founding Titan's abilities can alter the biology of all Eldians, and also control all Titans, and also deactivate all Titan hardening, and also impose the will of the king onto all its future royal successors, but it's somehow NOT the Titan with the power to see the future? Sure? Okay, so Falco inherited the Jaw Titan, but because he was originally turned with Zeke's spinal fluid, he ALSO inherited aspects of the Beast Titan even though Zeke is still the Beast Titan and it's never been established that the spinal fluid used for the original Titan transformation affected the inheritance of Titan shifter abilities? Why not, at this point.

Uprising Arc and its overly simplistic military coup. I didn't dislike the arc as a whole, but it was a very lengthy detour from the main objectives the series was already on track for and added to the repetition of Eren getting kidnapped. Additionally, I thought the coup to overthrow the old government was too... easy? It was really only made up of two setups: one to expose the corruption of some random military police guy to the press and turn public opinion in favor of the Scouts, and one to expose the government's selfishness to the military commanders enough to convince them to depose their current leaders and pardon the Scouts. Then the Scouts essentially say "Hey Historia here just killed a Titan and has royal blood (trust us) so she's going to be the queen now. Please ignore the fact she is also a Scout and therefore could easily be a puppet queen for the military branch that was until very recently public enemy number one" and everyone just kinda accepts this. I don't know, it didn't do much to sell me on realism in a world that had done so up until that point.

Wow, the stakes are getting pretty high, I wonder if... WAIT, 80%?! That was kind of my reaction to the whole manga finale. I don't mind high stakes, but when we're talking about the horrific genocide of 80% of humanity at the hands of our main character, uh, that scale is a little hard to grasp. This also feeds into The Problems, which I'll get into later, but all in all, I think after a certain point the story just got too big for me to stay believably invested in what was actually happening.

Endgame plot thread irrelevance (especially for the female characters). Why did Historia get a whole story arc just to be sidelined and pregnant for the whole rest of the story? What happened to Yelena? What happened to Mikasa's relationship with the Azumabito clan? What's the deal with Ymir? So many things were rushed at the end that it was disappointing to see so much setup for very little payoff. Unfortunately, the female characters seemed to get the brunt of this.

The Problems

Okay, so this section is basically why I made this post to begin with. I want to address all of the criticisms I've seen for Attack on Titan and give my honest opinion on them because, yes, I do think it's more complex than I've seen people give it credit for, but neither is it free of harmful interpretations either.

On the topic of being Pro-Imperialist, Pro-Nazi, Pro-Facsist, and Pro-Propaganda: Attack on Titan is positioned against all these things. Just because a media depicts something doesn't mean it's condoning or endorsing it. Imperialism, fascism, and propaganda are all present in the story but are very often forces that the main characters must fight against. It might not go as far as to say "military bad" but it definitely says "war bad, genocide bad, euthanasia bad, blind devotion to one's country bad" and a whole host of other issues that it does not depict in a favorable light. Now, the viewpoints of the mangaka might be in question, and I can't say much about the way he supposedly views Imperialist Japan. I'm just saying, in the context of the show, I don't see an unquestioning approval of imperialism being portrayed here.

On the topic of Sexism: eh, maybe. It feels weird to be so nonchalant about that but to be honest, it's not prevalent enough to stand out compared to other shonen. Female characters might not always see fully fleshed-out arcs, but neither are they handled in a way I would deem sexist other than the very strange exception of Mikasa's one-sided obsession with Eren somehow mirroring the "love" a child bride sex slave had for her abuser 2000 years ago. That said, strong characters like Annie, Ymir (of the Cadets), and Gabi manage to have fairly compelling motivations and growth while also being love interests. There's really no fan service to speak of, and some of them even get to be gay. So, you know, I'll take it.

On the topic of Anti-Semitism (Disclaimer: I am not Jewish): yeahhhhhhh... so, up until the end of Season 3, I was confused about this claim. I mean, there were Titans, mindless man-eating monsters that could resemble the blood libel spread about Jewish people, but I thought it was a bit of a stretch. Besides, while the walled city is evidently based on 19th-century Germany, there isn't really a divide between the people who live there and the people who can turn into Titans; given the right conditions, any human character in the show could potentially turn into a Titan, so I didn't see the problem. If anything, I thought it was just a modified take on the zombie apocalypse genre.

Then the basement reveal happened, where it's revealed the walled city we had been following the last 3 seasons wasn't actually the last bastion of humanity as both the audience and the cast once believed; it is actually an island where distinct people called Eldians fled to escape the persecution they faced for their unique ability to turn into Titans. Turns out the rest of the world is populated by many diverse cultures who all hate the Eldians for their ancient Titan-enabled crimes against humanity. The Eldians who aren't trapped on the island of Paradis live in the gated ghettos of the Nazi-Germany-coded nation of Marley and are forced to wear star-embroidered armbands to denote their subhuman status.

Okay. Yikes, I thought. But I still gave it a chance, because as I mentioned before, just because something is depicted in media doesn't mean it's being supported or condoned. I was hoping that, at some point, the claim that Eldians committed atrocities with the Titans or the claim that only Eldians can turn into Titans would be proven wrong. Neither of these hopes came to fruition. It's revealed that Eldians did a lot of good with their Titan powers, true, but they also waged endless warfare in the name of a King that enslaved them. So, while they weren't really to blame, they certainly did commit the crimes that earned the world's ire.

This is a problem. If the imagery of the armbands and the WW2 ghettos were never involved, perhaps I could give the story the benefit of the doubt and see the Eldians as a fictional race created for the purpose of illustrating the cycle of violence and the need to relate to each other as humans first. But the problem is, they are very explicitly compared to Jewish people, thus insinuating, whether intentionally or not, that Jewish people do have these monstrous qualities and did commit crimes that earned them the oppression they continue to face when in reality, they did nothing to deserve it.

As an additional "yikes," there's also the questionable existence of the Tyber family, the only Eldian family in Marley allowed to have wealth and political influence. It's revealed that the Tybers have essentially been pulling Marley's strings the whole time, which... wow, really doesn't do much for anti-Semitic conspiracy theories that Jewish people are actually in control of everything, huh. Thankfully, the Tyber storyline is short-lived, but then there's the Yeagerists, a fascist Eldian party that wants to counter-genocide the entire world before it can genocide Eldians. Triple yikes. Let's throw in Zeke's plan for forced sterilization against his own people for a solid quadruple yikes.

However, there are also important distinctions to make between Eldians and Jewish people that are in the story's favor. While the Eldian people of Marley are mistreated and considered subhuman, Marley still puts in the effort to brainwash them into thinking they are the "good" Eldians in order to earn their unconditional loyalty and turn them into frontline soldiers in their war to conquer other nations and the island of Paradis, something that doesn't really mirror Nazi Germany and gives us a reason to sympathize with the Eldians who were once the "bad guys" of Season 1-3. There's also the fact that 95% of the show's main cast IS Eldian, and up until the basement reveal we've only known them as human. Everything until that point has essentially served to make us identify with Eldians more than anyone else. While the rest of the world may dehumanize them, we the audience react negatively to any mention of them being less than human because we've only ever seen them fight to survive in a world where they thought they were humanity's last hope. We want to see them make it out of this alive.

And here's where my internal conflict with the show lies; it would be so much better if it cut out the WW2 imagery. Sure, there would still be plenty of subtext that could lead people to compare Eldians to Jewish people, but it wouldn't be so distractingly obvious and spur additional real-world comparisons where there aren't any. The sudden jump to 20th-century Germany is also somewhat jarring and I wouldn't have minded if Marley was based more on just another nation of the same era rather than a 100-year jump forward of the same setting (though it does make in-universe sense, what with Paradis being 100 years behind technologically but I digress). Basically, I think a LOT of the story's problems with probably-unintentional-but-still-present anti-semitism could have been avoided if the war and race allegories weren't given the same tact and grace as a David Cage game.

But now that brings me to what I think is Attack on Titan's fatal flaw: thematic ambiguity. "But Anna," you may say, "you said the freedom of interpretation is what you loved about its themes." You're right, I did say that. I still do. But ambiguity is a double-edged sword: it gives the audience freedom to derive unique meaning from the text and connect with it in deep, personal ways, but on the other hand, if a theme is too ambiguous, the author runs the risk of either telling a meaningless story or telling a story that conveys an unintended meaning. I think an author must have SOME intention with a theme if it is to be included, and must provide some sort of guide (usually with a character or two) to point the audience in the right direction. I'll give an example of what I mean for both instances in Attack on Titan.

For an example of a well-executed ambiguous theme, I'll turn to the question "Is humanity worthy of saving if saving it demands the loss of one's own humanity?" that I listed under the "cycle of violence" umbrella. Specifically, this question is raised after the Battle of Stonhess, where Erwin allows a Titan battle to rage in the middle of a populated area for the slim chance he could capture Annie alive and extract information from her. This decision cost hundreds of innocent lives, and worse of all, Annie was of little use to him. Erwin stands behind his decision for the greater good and Armin rationalizes the battle as a net gain, but Jean presents Armin with a counterargument: "If it's that easy to let the fight turn us all into monsters, maybe we don't deserve to win." Still, we aren't given an outright answer to who's right and who's wrong here. Instead, the guide we are given is in the way ideologically-opposed characters like Erwin and Jean are treated by the story: Jean maintains his humanity, minimizes civilian casualties whenever possible, and in the end, is left with few regrets. Erwin, on the other hand, feels the weight of all the lives he callously sacrificed in the name of a "greater good," which we learn was perhaps more selfish than he let on. Upon resigning himself to death, he laments all the innocents who died at his command. It is through these characters that we learn who, ultimately, was in the right, and what that theme is trying to tell us (also coincidentally applying to the theme "live a life you can be proud of.")

For an example of a poorly-executed ambiguous theme, I'll turn to the question "Is it necessary to perpetuate the cycle of violence in order to survive in a world that forces violence?" that I also listed under the "cycle of violence" umbrella. This question is perhaps no more apparent than when the main characters are faced with the terrific power of the Rumbling, basically a Titan-powered WMD Eren uses to preemptively wipe out humanity before it can inevitably attack Paradis. While many characters deliberate the ethics of this, there are two characters who have starkly different viewpoints: we have Floch, a Yeagerist who is in full-hearted support of the attack and is uninterested in saving human lives if they are not Paradis Eldians, and we have Hange, who despite being a Paradis Eldian beats an impassioned fist against a table and delivers the rather on-the-nose line "Genocide is wrong!"

So who's right? Well, anyone with any sort of media literary sense will say "Hange, obviously." Because Hange is portrayed as a good person (usually) and Floch is portrayed as a villain (usually). The problem is both these characters fight valiantly in the name of their cause and incidentally die in the same scene while imparting their wishes to the heroes for how they want the world to be. Anyone watching who harbors even a fraction of Floch's nationalism might see that and say, "Floch was in the right. He righteously died for his country and he almost won against an impossible enemy." There's also the problem that Hange does not give an alternative answer to the Rumbling and even admits they don't have one, they just know the Rumbling is wrong, which doesn't do anything to add to the theme in question. Unfortunately, the Rumbling is presented as the only reliable line of self-defense for Paradis, as it's already established that diplomacy has almost no chance of working and that the only other plan is, of all things, sterilizing the Eldian people to appease the world that wants them dead with as little bloodshed as possible. What would have been the only other recourse, the order of a partial Rumbling to wipe out the world's military bases, is immediately taken off the table when it's revealed Eren never had any intention of doing that. Therefore, the story doesn't give us any answer to this question at all, since the characters never get to find an alternate solution for themselves and are forced to simply stop the Rumbling before it can kill too many people despite the risk of dying in the process or play along with Eren's predetermined plan. For a story so bent on saying "genocide is wrong" it does a weirdly good job of presenting it as a survival tactic.

Now, I wouldn't normally have that much of a problem if a story fumbled a theme or two. Not everything has to land perfectly. That said, Attack on Titan NEEDED to deliver these themes clearer than it did, because of one major reason: it was dealing with questions involving fascism, genocide, war, and eugenics. You should not casually raise these issues as a backdrop to a theme that can't be delivered on, because then you run the risk of attracting people who very much are pro-fascist, pro-genocide, pro-war, and pro-eugenics and will blatantly misinterpret everything in the text in order to warp it and fit their worldview (a risk I think FMA managed to avoid by being very blunt with where it stood on those same issues). On the flip side, you'll also repel people who otherwise might have loved the story because at some point they heard someone say "Oh yeah Attack on Titan is awesome, the Yeagerists are cool and I agree with the main character's plan for genocide," and rightfully be put off from that. Then they'll turn around and tell the next person, "Hey, don't watch that, I heard it's pro-fascist and pro-genocide," and that person will go "Oh thanks I didn't know that, I'll stay away from it," and that person will be me for the last ten years.

The Characters

Eren and Mikasa: I'm lumping these two together because I already talked about them at length, but I will say, for being the two main characters on which the finale hinged, I think they were both too simplistic to fully deliver on any of the complex themes they represented. Hell, when listing all the themes each character embodied, I only listed Mikasa under one of them, which is not great for a deuteragonist. Not only that, but Mikasa didn't even really deliver on her one theme: she broke the Titan curse by "letting go of her enslaving love for Eren," but did she really? She kissed and then absconded with his decapitated head to give him a proper burial, then returned each year to his grave with Jean and her family (who remained faceless) to leave a flower behind for him. I get it, he was important to her as a childhood friend and that alone means she should try to remember him despite the monster he turned into, but the framing of this suggests she never really let go of him and was shackled to his memory even as she tried to move on.

Armin: The thing about Armin is that while I ultimately think he's the heart of the story and the main driving force for good (as evidenced by the fact he's the only character I listed under ALL the themes I mentioned earlier), he also reads more like a symbol than a character. That's fine, a character doesn't need to go through an arc to be good, but for me, personally, a character in this kind of setting needs some form of growth for me to form an attachment to them. I'm not just talking about how Armin steadily grows okay with murder because that still doesn't do much to change his rosy outlook on life. The most excited I ever got about Armin's development was when he manipulated Bertholdt into thinking Annie was being tortured because holy shit that's kinda dark for Armin and I thought maybe his strategic mindset was going to start getting the better of his morals, but then that's never really touched on again. It's because I was never quite sure what the rhyme or reason was behind his actions that I found myself disconnected from him as a character, despite being inspired by him as a symbol.

Jean: My favorite character and a sorely underrated one at that. Won't say anything more about him here because I'm dedicating it to the Conclusion.

Levi: Second favorite character. Back when Attack on Titan's popularity was at its peak, I would see Levi on my dash all the time and I would roll my eyes thinking he was just another brooding anime bad boy the girls were fawning over. But I get it now. Yeah, he can brood, and yeah, he can be a bad boy as an ex-criminal who is no stranger to violence, but most of all he's compassionate. He cares deeply about the lives of his comrades and almost never values the "greater good" when decisions are left up to him. Granted, I think he becomes a little one-note after the Erwin vs Armin choice when he resolves that his only motivation from now on will be killing Zeke, but you know, after everything Zeke put him through, I think he earned it.

Hange: Third favorite character. They injected much-needed energy and sincerity into the story right from the start, and they only became more complex as the story went on and circumstances forced more and more responsibility onto them. I'm also glad that, while they are a good and moral character, they also don't mull over hard decisions that a veteran soldier probably wouldn't mull over. If worse comes to worst, they know they may have to resort to torture or violence to protect their comrades and the pursuit of truth. Still, they almost never push this any further than necessary, unlike Erwin before them.

Reiner: Fourth favorite character. I had basically no opinion on Reiner until Season 2 when he pushed Connie out of the way of a Titan's mouth and I thought "he's kinda cool." And then so so so much happens after that. I almost never knew how to feel about him. Is he the bad guy? He's killed so many people, he has to be. But then, why do I still like him? Why do I feel so bad for him? Season 4 only added to those mixed feelings, showing him to be suicidal and suffering from PTSD after all the violence he inflicted when he was just a child soldier. I think most of the themes about "people are people" is best illustrated in Reiner, and how he is able to overcome the pain of life through his dedication to the next generation and to the former friends he had hurt in the past.

Ymir (of the Cadets): Fifth favorite character. Like Reiner, I didn't really have any opinion on her until Season 2. While her contribution to the story is brief, it did a whole lot. Her backstory is technically our first introduction to a world outside the walls which also introduced a whole new mystery. Also, her love for Historia was probably the most genuine example of romantic love I can point to in the entire story, and the most emotionally touching one at that. She's also the one who introduces the theme "live a life you can be proud of" verbatim, which proves to be important for everyone.

Sasha and Connie: Truth is, I don't really have any favorites after Ymir, and how I feel about everyone else is some variation on neutral (except Floch). As for Sasha and Connie, I'm throwing them in the same bucket of "likable-enough comic-relief characters that have some semblance of a character arc but not nearly enough to justify their screentime." People might hate me for this, but I actually think Sasha contributed more to the narrative when she was dead than she did when she was alive. That doesn't mean I wasn't sad when she died, though.

Erwin: People might hate me for this too, but I think Erwin is overrated. I think many dudebro fans see him as the peak representation of heroic masculinity, as an unflinching and at times ruthless commander who takes charge and shows no weakness. That is not true. It's revealed Erwin does have a weakness, a selfish drive to redeem his father's suspicions about the outside world, a drive that makes him fear his own premature death, in the end. True, that drive has paved the way for the Scouts to clear impossible hurdles but also has it led to many senseless and brutal deaths that the story does not intend to justify. Erwin is flawed, incredibly so, and I wish more people could see that.

Historia: I had no opinion of her in Seasons 1-2, even during the love story she had with Ymir. It wasn't until the Uprising arc that she grew on me, as she started to mature beyond her "Disney princess" persona that had previously seemed so out of place in a story like this. That said, after she got pregnant in Season 4, I was disappointed to see that there wasn't much of a point to her character anymore despite being the literal queen.

Annie: I wanted to like Annie. I wanted so badly to like Annie. That's really only for aesthetic reasons because when the show was at its peak I saw her on my dash and fell in love with her as a fellow short blonde girl with a big nose and a name that starts with Ann. After getting to know her character... well, I don't dislike her. I think she served her role in the story well enough. She's just fairly simple once you learn her motivation, and she's hard to get attached to if you don't like emotionally-constipated characters.

Bertholdt: Oh, Berry. Unfortunately, every feeling I could have had for him I already felt 5x more for Reiner, so Berry became rather redundant. Also, his constant stare unnerved me. I did feel bad when he died though. RIP Berry.

Marlow: He didn't have a huge part in the story, but I think he was significant if only for one moment: the second before his death when he thinks of Hitch. Here we are given an everyman who wanted to rise to his calling and dedicate himself to the greater good, who was so driven by ideals and politics that he bravely gave his life for the cause he believed was right, but just before he meets his end, it's revealed to him that what he really wanted was a life with the girl he only just realized he loved. I think that one moment tragically encapsulated the main message of the story; we are here simply to enjoy life and enjoy each other.

Gabi: Again, people might hate me for this, but I liked Gabi. I think she did a good job of being a mirror of what Eren could have been had he been born in Marley, and/or if he had learned to sympathize enough with the enemy to have given up on his revenge plan. She went through a lot of horrors to get the growth she did, and I don't really understand the vitriol some fans have for her, even considering the fact she killed Sasha since killing Sasha and then learning that doing that was a bad thing through the kindness of Sasha's family was kind of the point. Also, as if Eren wouldn't have done the same thing in her shoes. She's a brainwashed child soldier, come on.

Falco: It was a breath of fresh air to have, like, one genuinely nice good kid for once. He's a necessary addition to Gabi's arc I think, since he's the one that keeps her grounded and helps her realize that the Paradis Eldians are not evil. His Jaw/Beast Titan powers are OP though.

Zeke: Hated him throughout all of Season 3 besides only knowing him as the Beast Titan. Season 4 rolled around and I did start to sympathize with him given his upbringing and the way his brother Eren used him after thinking he finally had a family he could be close with. I still didn't feel all that bad when bad things happened to him though, given the things he's willing to do to impose a sterilization "solution" to his own people.

Pieck: Getting into "they're fine but don't add much to the story" territory here. She's smart and has a sleepy-girl charm about her, I guess. She also has that one cool moment where she points to Eren as the enemy, but as far as her relationship with the main characters goes, she basically has none, which makes it hard for me to get invested in her.

Onyankopon, Yelena, Magath, and Kiyomi: Lumping all these characters together as the notable non-Eldians with their own agendas. I had no strong opinion on any of them. Onyankopon was cool, but I thought Magath changed his stance on Paradis too easily in the end, and Yelena and Kiyomi barely contributed anything that couldn't have been done by some other character. Their true purpose was really just to establish that there were different cultures outside of Paradis.

Floch: Saved the best for last. And by best, I mean worst. He's the anti-Jean, if you will; the everyman who, when faced with dire circumstances, turns to brutality and strength rather than humanity and compassion. It's fitting, I think, that he's the one who not only advocates saving Erwin, Jean's ideological opposite ("We need a devil!") but he's also the one who tempts Jean into a character regression since he's a representation of what Jean could have become if he stayed what he was like early Season 1. Other than that, he's a cupcake-head fascist whose dumb face I got tired of looking at even before he become a fascist. I just fucking hate Floch, man.

Every other character I either don't have anything much to say about, like Grisha, Shaddis, Pixis, Rod Reiss, and Hitch, or they died too early for me to say much about, like Porco, Petra, and Marco (although I did love Marco and I was incredibly sad when he died).

Conclusion (and why Jean is the best character you can't change my mind)

So, to take my thesis-length thoughts and distill them into one coherent sentence, my overall feeling on Attack on Titan is this: it's a well-paced, well-constructed story that is consistently engaging and thought-provoking about real-world issues, but is ultimately held back by its final act where the scale and allegory become too big and clunky for the story to properly handle. Many things that were so well set up in the previous three seasons sadly unravel at the finish line. That said, that doesn't mean there is no meaningful or worthwhile conclusion to be had in Attack on Titan; I think it still had a stronger finish than, say, HBO's Game of Thrones. I connected with it in a deep way that I haven't connected to any other piece of media lately besides maybe when I played Dragon Age last year, another story that raised thought-provoking themes about real-world issues but with admittedly clunky allegory. Most notably, though, I think my enjoyment of Attack on Titan was highly dependent on one character in particular, a character who acted as a reliable anchor point to come back to whenever the bigger ideas got away from the story.

Here's where Jean comes in. While Eren, Mikasa, and Armin are essentially mouthpieces and figureheads for the much-too-big themes they represent and are somewhat washed out as characters because of it, Jean delivers on all his themes perfectly while maintaining his believability as a character. In this world, he is basically just some guy; despite being talented, he's not as driven as Eren, he's not as strong as Mikasa, and he's not as idealistic as Armin. Jean himself recognizes all these things, but he also recognizes how their strengths also come with weaknesses that he can make up for. He sees Eren as cool but also suicidally reckless, he sees Mikasa as capable but also overly-dependent, he sees Armin as brilliant but also in need of a backbone. He then steps up to fill those deficiencies; to answer Eren's recklessness, he does everything he can to preserve his own life so that he can continue to serve others; to answer Mikasa's dependency on Eren, he makes his own decisions and creates strategies to get everyone out of trouble, not just Eren; to answer Armin's cowardice, he steps up and relays Armin's genius plans but with a stronger sense of leadership and authority.

But he wasn't always like this, and that's the most important part; Jean started as a selfish, cowardly, and entitled asshole. Floch says this outright. The only thing early Season 1 Jean cared about was securing his place in the top 10 and choosing a position among the Miltary Police where he could live the rest of his life in peace and luxury, the rest of the cadets be damned. I think this is a pitfall a lot of people in the real world can fall into: in a highly competitive and individualistic society, people have little incentive not to step on others in order to achieve a better life for themselves, and this is the very pitfall Jean nearly falls into. It's a relatable flaw, as little as people might want to admit it.

Yet, among all of Jean's negative pre-Trost qualities, he has two that can be seen as positive: his keen perception and his blunt honesty. Marco tells him as much. After the first battle in Trost, Jean, despite his reluctance to take up responsibility, sees opportunities to get his fellow cadets to safety and uses his insight into their strengths and weaknesses to guide as many of them as he can since he's the only one at the time who can take up leadership. Afterward, Marco tells him he makes a good leader not because he's strong, but because he knows what it means to be weak. He is able to lead because he doesn't delude himself with false hopes or illusions of grandeur; he knows exactly what is at stake and what hurdles everyone needs to overcome in order to have a chance at both winning and surviving. Jean is humbled and inspired by this, realizing that he would better serve in a field where he could potentially save lives instead of wasting his talents in the Military Police where he would have nothing to apply himself for.

But his real call to action is Marco's death. After losing his one true friend, Jean resolves to give up his dream of the Military Police and dedicate himself to the Scouts, where he can live up to the potential Marco always saw in him. If we are to take the theme of "true freedom is the ability to give up a long-held dream" to heart, then Jean is actually one of the first characters to achieve true freedom in this story. That doesn't mean it was easy. Freedom comes with the burden of responsibility, and his decision to join the Scouts isn't framed as triumphant or inspiring but instead as terrifying and traumatic. But that's another aspect of real life I think is captured by Jean's character: the decision to become a better person is not always easy, and it often requires a continual and conscious effort to push comfort zones, overcome bad habits, and step into the terrifying unknown, but you still have to do it.

While Jean does change for the better because of this decision (a change even his fellow cadets take notice of), his battle to grow as a person is never over. When faced with life-or-death situations as a Scout, he overcomes his cowardice to leap into action and save others whenever he knows he can. When faced with the selfishness of the Military Police, he is reassured by the knowledge that his decision not to join them saved him from that ignorant mindset. When faced with the consequences of "the greater good," he questions what it means for humanity if serving a grand purpose means they should turn a blind eye to the innocent. When faced with the prospect of having to kill other humans, he grapples with the morality of murder and what it means if he can't pull the trigger to save his friends. When faced with the crowning of Historia, he voices his concern against authority that they're forcing her into another role after she had just fought to reclaim her own identity from her father. When faced with the temptation to regress, ignore genocide, and settle for the easy life he always wanted in his youth, he resists the urge to fall back onto his dream and continues fighting even when it's the hardest thing he could ever do. When faced with the revelation that Reiner killed his friend Marco, he briefly gives into his resentment and anger but later works past it and admits there are more similarities between them than there are differences. When faced with no other choice but to stop the Rumbling, he's the first to bring Mikasa to the painful but necessary realization that they must kill their friend Eren in order to save countless innocent lives, as much as he doesn't want to do that.

Over and over again, Jean is presented with a moral dilemma, and over and over again, Jean chooses to come out of it as a better person despite it all. Because he achieved the freedom to choose who he wants to be so early in the story, the rest of his arc is a revelation that such freedom comes with constant and painful doubt. Yet, Jean never shies away from exploring the moral ambiguity of his world and the actions it makes him take. Because he is perceptive and honest, he's quick to question everything that is presented to him and never takes any one person's perspective as the only undeniable truth. Questioning life at every turn isn't easy either; it takes effort and courage and vigilance, and even when that way of life wears away at Jean, he does it anyway. If he doesn't, he'll end up just like the pitiful and ignorant Military Police he could have easily become. To me, that arc is so much more relatable than any other arc presented in this story. This is the very real struggle of a regular guy navigating a complicated world of war, eugenics, nationalism, and genocide, and is just trying to make it out as a decent person in the middle of it all. Really, isn't that all any of us are?

I think it's also telling that Floch tempts Jean to join the Yeagerists not with the argument that Eren and his plan for genocide is right, because deep down I think he knows Jean would have never agreed with that. Instead, he tempts him with the promise of comfort and a life free of resistance. I think that's the most revealing truth of all: Jean, the representation of humanity and its struggle with its own morality would never have gone along with genocide just for the sake of it. I think most people are too decent to think genocide is in any way justified when it's framed that way. Instead, Jean is only tempted by how the decision to join the Yeagerists and turn a blind eye would affect him and his own life, reframing the problem as a self-preserving one and retroactively justifying the Rumbling not as what is right but as what is futile for any one person to try to stop. That, I think, reflects the true struggle of humanity, the struggle to sacrifice your own self-interest whenever it conflicts with the need to help others.

While other characters like Mikasa, Eren, and Armin are more or less the same character at the end of the story as they are in the beginning, Jean is in a perpetual state of change, which means he also acts as a terrific mirror and foil for so many characters throughout the story depending on what stage of character development he's in. He starts as a foil to Eren, someone who harbors just as much hot-headed ego as Jean, but unlike Jean has all the conviction to back it up. As Jean grows, he continues to foil Eren by proving conviction can not only be gained but can be reigned in and redirected to be used as a force to do good instead of a force for destructive revenge. He then mirrors Armin, a character who is just as thoughtful and questioning as Jean but isn't as weighed down by selfish desires, but neither does that give much weight to Armin's moral dilemmas when he chooses to do the less moral thing than Jean does in his shoes. Jean and Armin eventually learn to work together, combining their respective strengths and weaknesses to become effective leaders in tandem. Interestingly, I learned that Armin and Jean were originally written to be the same character but were separated to reflect two different sides of humanity, perhaps to illustrate humanity's desire to reach outside the walls through Armin and humanity's struggle to resist the comfort of the walls through Jean. While I think that it was a good decision to separate them in the end, I also think that it robbed Armin of Jean's character development and robbed Jean of Armin's plot relevance. Then, of course, there's Jean's mirror for Floch, but I already touched on that in Floch's character summary so I won't retread it here.

But perhaps my favorite foil of Jean's is Reiner. More than Eren or Armin, Jean is inherently connected to Reiner through the death of Marco. While Reiner is positioned in Season 4 to also be a mirror for Eren, I think Reiner's similar loss of his friend Marcel (a friend who, unlike what Marco did for Jean, did the opposite of inspire Reiner by admitting that Reiner was never actually good enough for the role he got and only earned it by Marcel's intervention to protect his brother) positions Reiner as a more apt foil to Jean instead. Reiner is sent on a trajectory where he only clings harder to his dreams of becoming a hero for Marley, winning the affection of his mother and father, and proving himself worthy of his role, never willing to let those dreams go in the face of Marcel's death unlike Jean had done after losing Marco. Because he clings to this dream so dearly, he kills many innocent people to achieve it, again displaying the polar opposite mindset of Jean who fights instead to save innocent lives. But Reiner isn't without a heart, and eventually, the weight of his sins burdens him. How does he deal with it? Not by questioning or confronting reality like Jean does, but by compartmentalizing himself and rationalizing his actions through the use of multiple personas, essentially denying responsibility for his sins and avoiding the painful self-reflection he must undergo to accept accountability for what he's done.

Reiner is only able to truly self-reflect when he returns to Marley, where the reconciliation of who he is catches up with him and drives him to become suicidal, but neither is he deluded by the dream he once clung to anymore. Now that he's accepted responsibility, he joins up with Jean's group, admits he killed Marco, and accepts the brutal punishment Jean has for him. It's only after this moment that Jean makes the realization that they're the same because they are now. They've both undergone a change and while it took them in many different directions, in the end, they've come to the same point; despite their respective sins or lack thereof, they're both fighting to become better people than who they once were. And in the finale, it is Jean who reassures Reiner that he is and will always be a Scout because he's fighting to save humanity, just like they had sworn to do as youths. Jean never forgot what it was they were fighting for, and because of that, I think Jean earns his place as the true moral compass of the series.

Wow, this really got away from me; Do you love the color of the Attack on Titan thoughts post? Anyways, if you managed to read all of this, I'm flattered you stuck around to entertain all my ramblings on a series that is basically over after a decade-long run that I was too late to jump on. With all my thoughts out of the way, I'm going to go reblog some Jean posts now, because he's the best character and no, you can't change my mind.

#oh this is so long i am so so sorry #it's as my sister called it: do you love the color of the attack on titan thoughts post #just beware when clicking on the read more #anna watches attack on titan

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marvelousmagicalaura · 25 days

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Thoughts on Secret History Part 1: Empire

I've finally started Secret History. I've heard it's very important to Mistborn and the Cosmere, so this is something I want to take my time reading. I'll be posting my reactions to each part, starting with Part 1: Empire. This part was short but had a surprising amount of info.

I'm beyond happy to see Kelsier again. "I am hope" always gets me and I SCREAMED in the final scene of book 6. It seems like Secret History will reveal different sides to Kelsier's personality. Here, I saw his fear of death and unwillingness to pass away, his drive to discover the truth behind secrets, his justified lack of faith in God, regret for hurting Vin and the crew. And the absolute BALLS to punch God then finesse God! That was totally unexpected, comedy gold right there! 🤣

The words Spiritual Realm and the capital C word - Connection - showed up. I remember from book 6 that Connection is a Spiritual Realm property, includes Connection to lands, and includes Connection between people (i.e. Connection between Handerwym and koloss). I'm confident the magic system of The Emperor's Soul manipulates the Connection within the souls of people and objects. Guess I shouldn't be shocked it's in the workings of Allomantic malatium (gold too?).

Here I bear witness Rashek's final moments. It's honestly depressing. I would've loved to seen Rashek's personality from his POV or the Firsts, people very close to him. And even though he was a scumbag, he was essential to Preservation's Plan. I like to theorize Rashek was either religiously motivated or had a duty to protect Scadrial once he glimpsed Preservation’s Plan. But lost his sense of devotion after so long. I don’t think Rashek just starting out would’ve silenced Fuzz or called him an impotent mouse 😂

I’m surprised to learn Ruin was attacking Preservation even before his release. So the hologram must be showing a representation of Preservation taking Ruin’s attacks and losing his mind. The passage about Ruin’s alterations is pretty shocking as well. At this time, no one knew about the Terris Prophecies or religion outside of Alendi’s logbook and kandra. But there were the Steel Ministry and the 600+ religions studied by Keepers. We know from WoBs and book 3 implications that Preservation wrote the Terris Prophecies and hid gems from Ruin in all of humanity’s religions. IIRC those gems were hidden to help the Hero of Ages his gambits would lead into. My speculation is Ruin wasn’t just altering Sazed’s rubbings. He was altering Alendi's logbook, the Keepers’ copperminds, the Keepers’ texts, and the Steel Ministry’s texts. And it appears Preservation has been actively writing stuff that Ruin altered. Pretty hypocritical for Pres to dislike Ruin for “making the religion all about him” even though Pres did the same thing 💀

A lot about Preservation in this section. Fuzz is a living contradiction. He's the god of stasis, yet he accepts that death is the natural progress of things... Though, The Plan is a contradiction to begin with. And it doesn’t seem like his planning was as certain as I thought. When I look back to the Mistborn Trilogy, one of my personal gripes was Preservation and mortals outsmarting/overcoming Ruin around the time he appeared to Vin at Fadrex. But it turns out I might be wrong lol.

Fuzz didn’t foresee that Kelsier would have a 100% chance of dying by letting the Lord Ruler kill him, or at least didn't foresee it as a likely possibility. He even said futuresight is cloudy - made of many possibilities. He didn’t understand why Ruin let Kelsier use malatium. And all these distortions are definitely because his mind has been degrading for millennia. It seems like Fuzz - Leras - Preservation - knew the Well of Ascension wouldn’t trap Ruin/Ati forever, that he would break free eventually. So he set up gambits that **might** eventually come to fruition, like the army of atium Mistings preventing Ruin from regaining his full power.

I have to respect the fact Fuzz’s mind has been dying for millennia, yet he has the cognition to manifest holograms that move and have conversations wiyj every dying soul. As well as the cognition to watch the fight between Kelsier and the Inquisitor.

Going back to Rashek, my theory is Fuzz's anger at Rashek's death is an instance of Preservation not remembering this part of the plan. The way I see it, Rashek needed to die for many of Pres’ gambits to come to fruition, cuz Rashek would’ve killed or captured the pawns like Vin, or Sazed, or the mistfallen. But Preservation can’t remember this.

There's the magic number sixteen! The mistfallen! I remember that Harmony said Preservation hid clues about the number sixteen, before he imprisoned Ruin. Guess this means Preservation set up the snapping Mists before the imprisonment, planting unaware Allomancers over the course of thousands of years. Setting up the gambit of Allomancers who can burn Ruin’s atium.

To close off the post, I gotta call crap on Fuzz's claims. There’s no way Kelsier is the only person in history to punch him or beg for revival. I suspect whatever he did to Kelsier is a gambit that’s part of the plan... which I don't remember well lmao. Was the plan made when Fuzz was smarter the Terris Prophecies and the Hero of Ages?

#mistborn #mistborn trilogy #wax and wayne #cosmere #brandon sanderson #mistborn secret history #secret history #the hero of ages #the bands of mourning #kelsier #the survivor #the survivor of hathsin #mistborn preservation #mistborn fuzz

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yuulina-vre · 9 months

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Fear - Chapter four

Summary: Y/N lives the life she always dreamed about. a job she loves, a fiancé that does everything for her, and a house she dreamed of. There are hiccups on the way, but Y/N's still pretty satisfied with where she stands in life. Though a word can be powerful, especially if it's said to the wrong person. Y/N would never have thought that she ever gets to experience how bad it can turn out. For her and the loved ones around her.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 3k

Warnings: angst, panic attacks

Series Masterlist // Masterlist

The rain rattles against the window. Fast, strong, and loud, driven by strong gusts of wind. A few branches of the big tree in front of the window bang against it now and then, creating a horror soundtrack for the sleep-driven mind.

I open my eyes, feeling somewhat unfocused for a moment. I rub my eyes tiredly, feeling like I’ve only been asleep for an hour, though I can’t really remember when I even fell asleep. Everything from leaving Wanda to now is a bit fuzzy. Thankfully I’m alive and not in a hospital or crashed somewhere on the street.

I rub my eyes a few times, nuzzling back into my pillow. I try to remember what I did after getting home. I know my energy level was near to empty, so I probably had just enough strength to lock the door and get up the stairs. I can’t remember if I even turned the lights on. From the heap of clothing on the floor, I know that I must have undressed at least. A quick glance under the blanket reveals me in practically nothing but my panties and a pretty short and revealing tank top. So, I got in my sleep shirt, at least. Huh.

Though I doubt that I took a shower. My hair’s dry, and with such low batteries, I probably wouldn’t have been able to stay any longer than necessary.

I practically fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow. That much is clear.

Sleep-drunk, I turn around again, this time to look at my other side, searching for a body that should be lying there, warming my back, snuggling, and pulling me into a warm embrace. Protect me from raging storms outside and nightmares inside.

But Bucky’s not there.

The bedside me is as cold as if he had left it hours ago. I rack my brain to try and remember if he even had been in bed when I crawled in. If he had been home at all. But I come up empty. If he’s on night shift, he won't be home till at least eight in the morning.

A sigh leaves me that sounds more defeated than I feel. Just a few more hours, and I can make up with Bucky. Apologize and coddle him. Maybe even with a nice breakfast?

I snuggle up into my blanket and pull Bucky’s sleeping shirt up to my nose, inhaling the familiar and calming scent. It smells intensely of him, of his aftershave, a bit earthy but pleasant, as if he had worn it just a few minutes ago. It’s so incredibly calming. I slowly fall back into a light slumber, thinking of the morning when I will see him again. Of his eyes, his smile, and the tight hug I’ll wrap him in.

But then I get an oppressive feeling. Something feels off. Different. It’s weird. I can't really point out what it is, but it makes me feel uneasy, haunted. As a child, I would imagine red eyes behind my window, creepy figures under my bed, or a monster in my closet. Now I know that all these things aren’t real and for the eyes, no one can look into the windows on the first floor.

My dream from hours ago pops back into my mind, and panic grips me again. Is someone in the house? A burglar? A killer?

Instantly my eyes are wide open, staring into the darkness of the bedroom without seeing much. All the sleepiness and tiredness I felt seconds ago is blown away. My senses are sharpened instantly.

The smell in our room is somehow different than usual. However, I can’t really pinpoint what exactly smells different. Otherwise, nothing’s moved, there’s no noise in the house, and even the stupid neighbor's cat meows her little soul out of her body, like every night, even despite the rain and harsh wind.

Everything’s the same. The fact that everything seems to be as it should doesn’t reassure me at all. Instead, all these little facts increase my panic and fear. There’s nothing unusual in this room, and yet I know something is wrong, like someone’s watching me. Should I go check it out? No, you're crazy. Just because you can't hear anything doesn't mean there's nothing here. Go and hide! Or call Buck.

I look around, contemplating where to hide. Under the bed and in our walk-in closet are pretty obvious hides. In every novel and horror movie are theses the hiding places victims go for. So, I look further around. A chest of drawers, a mirror, bedside tables, lamps, the small couch at the foot of the bed, bathroom.

Where should I go now?

At lightning speed, I reach for my smartphone, which has been charging on my nightstand, grab my robe from the foot of the bed, and run to the bathroom door. I rip it open, rush in, press it close again, and quickly run the lock. I look around in a panic. What's next?

I know that such a small thin door won’t hold possible intruders off for very long. If someone wants to get in, they will. One way or another.

My eyes flicker around, but even in this room aren’t as many hiding options. I could squeeze beside the toilet and the wall, try to empty the towel cupboard and squeeze in there or sit down in the bathtub. I decide to take the bathtub, even though it's not better than hiding in a closet. I pull the dark blue shower curtain close to protect myself from possible glances, risking that I can’t see anyone incoming as well.

Just then, I manage to take in a somewhat steady breath. I begin to tremble because suddenly, despite the warm summer temperatures, I am freezing cold. Restless, I look in the direction the door is in.

“It's okay, Y/N. No one's getting through. You locked the door. I guess your fantasy is playing games with you, and you're scared for no reason. And now you’re talking to yourself, great.” Trying to talk courage to myself… doesn't work.

It never has for me. I usually need someone else to hold me, talk to me, and calm me down. And usually, this someone is Bucky or my brother.

This feeling I have now, though, is not entirely new. I’m just not used to it anymore, haven’t felt it in a long time. I always was good at feeling when something is different around me. When people are oppressed and don’t want to show it to anyone. If someone lies, it’s even easier. I usually know it instinctively, but I never say anything. I have learned that sometimes it's better not to dive into things or talk about them. I can feel changes in the atmosphere of rooms, which doesn’t necessarily mean I know what’s wrong. I just know something is wrong, just like now.

My gaze wanders through the room again, slower this time. No weapons are recognizable except for Bucky’s razor or my hairbrush. The display of my phone flashes briefly. A text from my service provider. Bucky smiles at me from my lock screen, and a big wave of longing overcomes me. Suddenly it hits me.

Bucky!

I quickly enter the pin to unlock my phone, redoing it two times because of my shaking fingers, but finally, I manage, and a picture of Bucky and myself flashes in front of me. It’s from the day he proposed. I was so happy. Steve had made the picture and sent it to me later on. Bucky has me tightly wrapped in his arms; my feet are lifted off the ground as he swings me around. Or faces showing all the happiness in the world.

I quickly click on the icon for my address book, then find Bucky among my favorites, and without hesitation, I click on it. I don’t think about it, don’t think about the possibility that I might be overreacting and disturbing him. My brain is frozen in panic, and all that might be of help is him. I can feel my chest hurting with my fast breathing, which makes my mind panic a bit more. I curl into myself, trying to make myself as small as I can as it rings and rings. The robe is thrown on my lap, a weak attempt to keep my bare legs warm against the cold bathtub. The call rings and rings, but then, finally, his voice.

“Y/N, sweetheart. Hi.” Bucky sounds surprised, and I don’t blame him. After a week of radio silence, and now suddenly, I’m calling him in the middle of the night with heavy breathing, I probably would be surprised too. “Why are you awake? Though you would be sleeping by now.” He stops speaking as if waiting for an answer, but all I can do is listen to the silence while I still try to calm myself down enough to even breathe normally. “Um… Listen, doll. It’s bad timing right now. Can we talk when I get ho-”

“Bucky!” It bursts out of me, sounding more breathless than I would like but still loud enough that I wince. My eyes fly to the bathroom door, despite the curtain blocking my view. “C-come home. Please,” I whimper, and I know it sounds pathetic. “S-something’s wrong. I’m scared. Please!” Suddenly his voice becomes deadly serious, and he falls into a professional attitude that he rarely shows to me. “What’s going on? Are you all right?”

“N-no.” I feel the tears finally welling up, and I sniffle. My throat blocked with unshed tears. “S-somethings off.”

“Is someone in the house?”

“Yes. N-no. I-I don’t know, Bucky.” A sob breaks loose, and I quickly try to stifle it by shoving my free hand to my mouth to cover it. “P-please come home.” I sob aloud again, feeling the tears run down my cheeks. There was a brief silence. Then his voice sounds again. “Okay, sweetheart. Try to calm down for me, yeah? I’ll leave right away. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Are you somewhere safe?” I start nodding until I remember that he can’t actually see it, so I stutter out a short reply. “B-bathroom.”

“Okay, that’s great. I want you to stay there and be as silent as you can. I’ll be there in a few and get you. Okay?” Silence, then he asks again. “Okay, doll?”

“Y-yeah, okay.”

“Good… I love you. Everything will be all right. I promise.” And then silence; not even his breathing can be heard, just the steady beeping of a dead line. He hung up. I take a few seconds to try and breathe, to stop the tears flowing while my fear has a tight grip on my throat, squeezing it shut with each inhale I try to take. And then the guilt slams in. What am I doing? What if I just imagined this? What if he comes home for nothing?

My thoughts wander back and forth, unable to decide between ifs and buts. It adds to my panic. I can hear the blood rushing in my ears, feel my throat squeeze shut. In a last attempt to calm down, I wrap my robe around me. It aids as a calming blanket and keeps me as warm as a flimsy thin fabric can. But even that only manages to comfort for a minute or two before the spiraling starts anew.

I can feel the full-blown panic attack. Shivers run through my body, leaving me cold and sweaty. My breathing is so fast and erratic that it almost feels like I'm not breathing at all. My grip is tight on my phone, so it might break.

Blood rushes through my ears, so loud I’m not really able to hear anything past it. In general, all my senses seem to be subdued to the barest minimum. Since the lights are shut off as well, I can’t really see much anymore. And every sound that might be in the bathroom is strangely distorted and echoey.

Doubt spreads, even though I had never been wrong with my assumptions, at least not gravelly. Surely there are occasional situations in which I am not on point. Scared when I think someone is around, and it turns out it’s just a stray cat or a raccoon in our trashcan. After all, I'm not a psychic, and no one is infallible. Nevertheless, I am right more often than not. Oh, how I hope that this time is no different.

I can't tell how long I've been sitting there, squeezed as small as I can be, clinging to my phone and robe. My eyes are squeezed shut, so tight that I can already see stars dancing. My chest hurts, rising with quick, harsh breaths that don’t provide enough air. My head is fuzzy, and I feel dizzy and nauseous. A whimper leaves me as I hear something. A sound, almost like a banging.

More banging, like doors that are pushed open with such a force that they hit the walls. The thump of something falling over. Heavy footsteps in the house. Something pounding and rattling breath sounds nearby. The dripping tap seems unnaturally noisy in the otherwise silent room, and in the window, I imagen seeing eyes. Red, dark, and evil, lingering for me to be inattentive just to strike then.

My skin tingles with tension, and it feels like hundreds of small ants are walking over it. I shudder, burying my face deeper into my knees, bending more forward. It gives me more security, though it makes it harder for me to breathe than it already is. Somewhere in my mind, I recognize that I might pass out if I don’t calm down anytime soon.

I try to concentrate on my surroundings, try to find four things I can feel. My skin, my phone, the robe, the bathtub.

Three things to smell. “Candle. Bucky’s shaving cream. S-soap.” I start whispering, hoping that my own voice might calm me, though it’s nothing more than a breathless sound in the air.

Two things to hear. “Thunder. F-footsteps.” With wide eyes, I realize that I don’t just imagine them. They are really here. Someone is really walking through our house! A panicked sound escapes me; my eyes transfixed on the spot of the curtain I know the door is behind.

The handle of the door turns. I can hear it rattling, and the slight squeak Bucky still hasn’t fixed. Scared, I hold my breath, not able to look away, though it quickly throws me into a coughing fit that I try to stifle. My chest hurts as if someone squeezes it so tightly that I can't properly inhale.

It turns once again. Absolutely frightened, I let a squeak slip, instantly slapping a hand over my mouth to silence myself. Someone knocks on the door, with more and more force.

Then, boom. Boom.

I flinch violently, hitting my head against the tiled wall but don’t dare even to make pained noise. My nerves can't take it anymore. I watch the handle turn again, and I don't know what comes over me, but suddenly hysterics overwhelm me, and I start screaming while hiding in my own legs again. “Go away! Leave me alone… Please.” The last word is nothing more than a frightened whisper. Tears stream down my cheeks, my own crying ricocheting from the walls, sounding louder than they should be to my oversensitive ears. I throw my phone somewhere to my feet to cover my ears, shutting out any kind of noise. I slowly rock back and forth.

“Doll! Y/N! Open the door. It’s me. It’s Bucky! I brought Sam.”

“No. No! Go away. Leave me alone!” I cry out, shaking my head, hoping to drown out the false voice. “Y/N, please. Listen to my voice.” I shake my head. I don’t want to listen. I want them to go away, to leave me alone. I want Bucky.

“You called me fifteen minutes ago. You said there’s something off. Remember? I came as fast as I could.” A hand slaps softly but urgently against the door. Pleadingly. “Please let me in.”

I kinda do recognize the voice. It’s so familiar, so comforting. “B-bucky?” I whimper his name, it’s no more than a silent breath, but he still hears it. “Yes, doll. Can- Can you open the door for me, baby?”

Nothing keeps me in the tub, then. I scramble up and shove the curtain away, almost stumbling over my robe as I practically jump out of the bathtub. The rug slides a bit on the floor, sending me stumbling to the door. I crash into it but ignore the pain in my right shoulder. My hands tremble so badly as I try to grab the key. It slips out of my hand for a second, falling to the floor and slithering a few inches away from me.

Whimper after whimper leaves me as I pick it back up and fiddle with the lock until, finally, the heavenly sound of the door unlocking sounds. I throw the door open and instantly fall into the open arms that await me, not even checking if it’s actually Bucky. The warm embrace is comforting, though, and the smell that instantly hits my nose lets me know that the man is who he said.

I start wailing like a frightened animal. I sob and cling to him, bury my face in his chest and my nails into his shirt as his arms come around me, surrounding me with a feeling of calmness and safety. “I’ve got you. You’re safe now. You’re safe.” He speaks softly to me, lips brushing against my hair and ear, hands drawing patterns on my back.

Slowly he guides us back to the bad, step for step. I barely feel him sitting down and pulling me on his lap. My senses are filled with the comforting smell and familiar touch of him. Just him.

Just my Bucky.

Taglist:

@cjand10

#Bucky Branes #Bucky x Reader #Reader insert #Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes x Female Reader #yuulina writes #Fear

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mayullla · 10 months

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My self-insert if I was a genshin character lol. Well, specifically Mayu my self insert character, lol. (not coloured unfortunately)

Some specifics I guess lol (undercut)

+ Dendro support with a catalyst.

+ Father is a merchant who mainly works at Liyue while Mayu's mom is from Inazuma. Lives going back and forth between Sumeru and Liyue (but Liyue was where she lived the longest and where she got her dendro vision)

+ A merchant but to be honest much prefers just making stuff. From writing, drawing, crafting, sewing, etc she is willing to pick up many creative hobbies if she could.

+ Adores likes really really badly adores beautiful and pretty things and is also somewhat a hoarder of it.... somewhat. (face over personality!!)

+ Not a popular writer or anything but writes different stuff ranging from just cute stories to read to a few short psychological ones. She can't handle writing novels (too many times did she stop after finishing the prologue) (not a lot of people know about the psychological ones...)

+ Jack of all trades than a master of one she really just does it for fun.

+ Attacks are inspired by flowers and/or anything elegant and pretty.

+ Idle one: Daydreaming till she gets an idea and pulls out her notebook, sometimes it is writing like what she should make later, sometimes it is a drawing which can be dresses or patterns.

+ Idle two: Creates a flower (rose, lily, etc) with her vision that looks similar to her attacks, thinking before letting the flower disappear into the air and then yawns tired.

#mayu art #my art

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claire-starsword · 3 months

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Shining Force II Encyclopedia - Character Profiles

(You can also read this one on Neocities to not have to scroll through 30 characters in one post. Then again maybe you like that, so do whatever you like)

The "Characters" section of the book has a short profile for each character, plus basic gameplay information such as starting class and items, spell list and stat growth. I have ignored the gameplay info as it is basic stuff already covered in guides and walkthrough elsewhere. The strategy part of the book however also has small info boxes for when a character joins the force or appears in the story. I have translated those in this section as well, to gather all character info in one place, and also because Kazin's destroyed me emotionally. I have noted which part of the story some info boxes are placed, when they depend of context.

So, let's start!

Besides the protagonist who you'll be leading the adventure as, there's a total of 29 characters who will become your allies. They'll be a helpful bunch to have around. They are of many different classes and species, but will support you in many ways through this long and harsh war. Among them, some will be hard to recruit. You should find out by yourself how to get them!

This thing opens by telling you all secrets so that's an hilarious line.

Bowie Human / Male The protagonist. A boy with golden hair and blue eyes. Humans are weaker than dwarves and centaurs in battle, and inferior to elves when it comes to intellect. But he has greater endurance and fighting spirit than most humans¹. Aiming to become a legendary hero, he became a swordsman and is training under Sir Astral. His father was in the Granseal army² and disappeared during a expedition to slay a dragon³, so he lives with only his mother now.

¹Humans suck. Luckily for you you are special boy

²His father is mentioned as captain of the army in the JP version.

³Curiously, Mars of Shining Wisdom has a dad with pretty much the same story, except he's brought up in game, although unrelated to the whole plot.

Sarah Elf / Female A girl training under Astral, alongside Bowie. Her long blue hair and big red eyes are quite distinctive. She has always been the kind that enjoys looking after others, and comes across as a big sister despite being the same age as Bowie. Because of that personality she oftens ends up doing the jobs no one likes to do, and is nice enough to pull them off without complaining. New Member blurb: A pupil of Sir Astral, the same age as Bowie. A kind girl good at taking care of others.

It fascinates me how every guide seems to ignore the troublemaking and feisty side of her we see in the actual game. Like, none of the above contradicts it, it's just very pointedly not talking about it.

Chester [Huey] Centaur / Male Bowie and Sarah's classmate. Training under Astral in order to become a knight. He doesn't speak as much as the others, because centaurs are a quite prideful race¹. But his good nature is written plainly on his face. New Member blurb: Being a centaur, his movement is superior. Another student of Sir Astral.

¹i cannot remember a single time this man sounded remotely snobbish. He's more of a pushover at the beginning of the game, and is the one to thank Slade for jailbreaking them at Galam before Sarah decides to grill the man instead. The closest thing I can think of is that he doesn't wanna talk while dismantling the ship. He's also pretty annoyed at Jaha but, it's Jaha. Most people are annoyed at Jaha.

Jaha [Jaja] Hobbit / Male Another classmate, training under Astral to become a warrior. He talks a lot more than the other three, and Chester tends to get annoyed at that. His attack and defense are high, so he'll be a good ally in battle. New Member blurb: The oversleeper joins the team. He's usually clumsy, but a great help in battle. Kazin [Kazun] Elf / Male A boy studying magic under the scholar Hawel, a researcher of the ancient ruins. Has above average talent for magic. He puts up a cool and collected front, but can be quite fiery at times. Key Character blurb: [when met at Yeel Village] Training at magic under Hawel. Has a better reputation at Yeel Village than his master. New Member blurb: [when joining the force after Hawel is killed] Loved Hawel like a real father. A reliable guy, specialist in fire spells.

:'(

Slade [Jippo] Scavenger¹ / Male The one who started the calamity, bringing turmoil to the once peaceful Granseal. He's a thief, and likes the adventure more than gold or fame. New Member blurb: [when met in jail] A scavenger known as the thief on the side of justice. There's still a little time until he fights alongside the force.

¹The term for Slade's species, スケイブン (sukeibun), seems to come from Warhammer’s skaven race, which is pronounced a bit different than the word scavenger (which would be something like スカベンジャー(sukabenjaa) in katakana instead). However, the term first showed up in this series for those rat enemies at the start of Gaiden 1, and SFCD translated it as Scavenger, so I’m going with that. Honestly, I’d rather just call him a ratguy.

Kiwi Green Turtle¹ / No gender² A mysterious creature. Their body and shape is much like a turtle, but no one knows for sure what they are. Given the shell on their back, their defense is absurdly high. Seems they'll grow into an amazing character. New Member blurb: A poor creature put up for sale. The truth about them is deeply shrouded in mystery.

¹Green Turtle is the name of Kiwi's class in-game as well, in the JP version. I usually stick to the official class translations but, TORT has always been a weird one.

²Kiwi has only one line where they use the first person pronoun "boku", which is usually associated with little boys. However, that line is right at the beginning when they are at the pet shop and barely knows how to talk, so it might be them just copying the first little boy they heard. Also, as far as I know, more gender neutral pronouns like "watashi" or "jibun" are not commonly used by little children. One gender neutral option for a little kid would be just using their own name, but Kiwi doesn't even have a name at that point. So the pronoun used makes sense, though it would have been better to just not use any pronouns for such a short line. Then again I'm not taking this turtle as a serious attempt at agender representation, I'm just finger-gunning that no gender label anyway.

I suspect the devs main reason for listing Kiwi as genderless is that Kiwi is named by the player in game, and they didn't want to limit the player's interpretation. Still peculiar that they say "no gender" as opposed to the "unknown" Zynk and Claude got.

For the record, the english localization does refer to Kiwi as a he. I have chosen to use they/them pronouns here to emphasize this piece of trivia and the whole gender discussion.

Peter Phoenix / Male A phoenix chick. The phoenix is a bird spoken of in legends throughout every country. Brimming with curiosity, he's the kind that faces things without much fear. While he's blunt and asks a lot of questions, there's also a certain charm to him. The god Volcanon is like a father to him, and has also influenced a lot of his personality. After promotion, he becomes a very helpful character to have around. New Member blurb: A phoenix that ended up traveling with Bowie and the others. May [Matilda] Centaur / Female A girl of a hunting tribe who loves nature. Despite being both centaur classes, knights and rangers are very different. Compared to the prideful knights, rangers are more cheerful and open. New Member blurb: The ranger May is a bow user. She seems to be bored, so call out to her.

The portrait used for her throughout the guide seems to be from earlier in development.

Gerhalt Beastman / Male Hates crooked things! He's like the personification of moral sense. He's less hairy than other beastmen, and has a complex about it. The kind that likes fighting, rare to find in a peaceful village like that. New Member blurb: A beastman warrior tired of being nice to the villagers who forgot how to fight. Fights with fists strong enough to break stone.

Luke [Ludo] Birdman / Male Prince of Bedoe, the country of birdmen, and a great friend of Peter's. Is both kind and brave. Trusted by god Volcanon, the people of Bedoe work day and night to protect the peace of South Parmecia. New Member blurb: The brave prince of Bedoe. Willing to lay down his life for his country. Rohde [Lloyd] Human / Male A middle aged scholar who studies the Ancients. His fervor for his research has made him respected by other people. However, because he gets too absorbed in it, he's also known as an oddball. New Member blurb: A scholar who lives in the south of Hassan. Obsessed with ancient ruins, he continues to research them on his own. Rick [Mick] Centaur / Male A boy scared of adventures and facing the unknown, who ended up being left behind all alone. After meeting Bowie and the team, he grows up a bit.¹ New Member blurb: A sensitive yet strong willed boy. Lives in the harbor town of Hassan².

¹The manual also describes him as timid, yet he's very enthusiastic when you meet him, taking the initiative to join the team as soon as the Caravan picks his interest. It is possible that this description is more of a past thing, or his personality was reworked late in development. Or even, he might be putting in some effort to hide whatever fears he has.

²While this backstory is in the manual and most official guides as well, it contradicts the in-game story, where Rick has just arrived in Hassan, and had no idea what the town was like.

Elric [Polnaref] Elf / Male A resident of Fairy Woods. Friendly with the fairies and dwarves. Has a great sense of justice, and keeps himself well informed. He's not very strong physically, and can be easily caught by traps.

New Member... blurb? Yeah no, sorry, they forgor him.

For actual Elric trivia, see the post about his mom.

Eric [Elric] Centaur / Male While searching for a magic sword, he got caught in an unfortunate incident and became trapped in a certain place. Has an air of sadness, and is quiet and well mannered. It seems he was lord of a castle somewhere, a long time ago. New Member blurb: A knight who was shrunk down in middle of his travels, searching for a legendary sword. Karna [Twiggy] Human¹ / Female A beautiful woman with a roundish face, but old-fashioned looks. She's fit to work as a priest, having a kind heart. She worries about Bowie and the others getting caught up in an incident as if it was her own problem. New Member blurb: A priest girl. Can use healing magic, so you definitely want to bring her along.

¹You read that right, human. Both this manual and every guide book I know lists both her and Taya as humans despite the ears. I've heard that the official novel calls her a half-elf to go around this issue, but as I don't have the novel (yet) I can't confirm this.

Randolf [Dongo] Dwarf / Male A barbarian who likes to drink. He's happy as long as he has alcohol, and looks like a hooligan. He seems related to gully dwarves¹, as his roughness stands out. The original dwarf people are virtuous and well mannered. New Member blurb: A strong dwarf warrior. Shows incredible destructive power in battle.

¹The term for his subrace (ドブドワーフ) seems to come from Dragonlance, or at the very least that was the only result I got looking it up. I'm gonna take a moment to say I really dislike these fantasy race stereotypes, they usually don't get too much focus on Shining games but I feel this guide in particular is laying a bit thicker on them which is a bit annoying. I already pointed out how the prideful centaurs thing doesn't even match this game's characters.

Tyrin [Piper] Elf / Male A level-headed middle aged mage, who is polite, but a bit hard to talk to. Likely thanks to years of accumulated wisdom, he has good mastery of magic. He is also physically stronger than the younger elves¹. New Member blurb: An user of offensive magic. His mastery of magic will be very useful in battle.

¹Tyrin's physical strength comes up in the manual as well, and it's nothing but a few attack points above Kazin and Taya as far as I know. He still has less than Sarah and the archers, so the elf line is a bit silly. The manual correctly associates it with his class instead.

Janet Elf / Female A girl of the forest who came after her boyfriend, upon hearing that he was working alongside the Granseal army. Her skill with the bow is on par with Elric's. New Member blurb: An elf like Elric, with similar skill with the bow. It's reassuring to have her around. Higins Centaur / Male Captain of the army of Pacalon, the centaur kingdom in North Parmecia. As captain in a country of prideful centaurs, he has a stern personality. However, he has a bit of a scatterbrained side as well. New Member blurb: Captain of the army of the centaur country. With high attack and movement, he has the enemies at his mercy. Skreech [Fielder] Birdman / Male He looks no different from an adult birdman, but is actually still a young boy. Birdmen grow faster than other species. He has a sharp, clear gaze, and a strong body. New Member blurb: Talk to everyone underneath the town's grounds¹. New allies join the force, and someone headed the same way follows along.

¹This blurb pops up at the Moun battle guide, refering to Frayja, Skreech, and Zynk. It is therefore incorrect, since Skreech joins at Tristan. Other parts of the guide describe the correct way of getting him to join, so it's a curious error.

Taya [Linda] Human¹ / Female A shrine maiden serving Goddess Mitula. A very reserved and mysterious woman. She often has a downcast look. She's transformed somewhere, waiting for Bowie. New Member blurb: As talked about in Tristan, someone with the power to control nature awaits somewhere in the shrine.

¹Both this manual and every guide book I know lists both her and Karna as humans despite the ears.

Frayja [Sharol] Hobbit¹ / Male The priest of Moun, tormented by regret over something he did. He looks a bit fat, given his sagging cheeks and the short stature of hobbits. Also at the age where he's losing hair. New Member blurb: Talk to everyone underneath the town's grounds². New allies join the force, and someone headed the same way follows along.

¹Some guide books call him human instead. His proportions are very different from the other hobbits/dwarves in the series so I’m willing to believe that more.

²This blurb pops up at the Moun battle guide, refering to Frayja, Skreech, and Zynk. It's a bit odd, since Frayja joins before the battle, not after freeing the town. It is also just wrong when it comes to Skreech.

Jaro [Falcon] Pegasus / Male Used to be a Galam soldier. Disliked having to fight alongside unknown monsters. The pegasus are a special race, centaurs who have sprouted wings. New Member blurb: Satisfied with how the battle ended, he joins the force as a helpful ally of great mobility. Gyan Hobbit¹ / Male A very hotblooded man. The kind that cannot stand still seeing others in trouble. He's a kindhearted person who loves children, and is always worrying about his family. New Member blurb: Warrior of superb power and stamina. A reassuring ally to have at the very front.

¹He calls himself a dwarf in game. Some other guide books call him a dwarf as well.

Sheela Human / Female An old pupil of Astral. She became a priest after her training, but for some reason has abandoned that profession, and became a disciple in the ascetic monks cabin. She's frank and sociable. New Member blurb: Someone who once trained under Astral. Has great attack and can uses several kinds of magic.

Zynk [Backus] Robot / Unknown¹ Was once just junk lying around in the ancient pathway. After a lot of tinkering from the one who picked them up, they began to move. Joins Bowie after a certain event. New Member blurb 1: [when met on Moun] Talk to everyone underneath the town's grounds. New allies join the force, and someone headed the same way follows along. New Member blurb 2: [when joining after Petro's death] After meeting Petro, he joins the force after following around since Moun.

¹Zynk speaks in a rough manner when first met under the rock of Moun, including using the casual and rough pronoun "ore", which is usually masculine. After that, they switch to polite and gender neutral language.

I suppose that the unknown label here is more due to the fact of robots likely not having a biological sex.

The english localization refers to Zynk as a he. I have chosen to use they/them pronouns here to emphasize this piece of trivia and the whole gender discussion.

Chaz [Oneia] Human / Male Hawel's son. Travelling through many countries as he polishes his magical abilities. Later on, he inherits Hawel's research. A rare kind of mage, curious and enthusiastic. New Member blurb: Here comes a special ally capable of understanding any incident in the world!! A passionate and active mage!! Lemon Human / Male As his appearance shows he is clearly a soldier, the highest commander of the Galam army, in fact. A person who hates crooked behavior and wrongdoings, but for some reason, his personality has completely changed. Key Character blurb: [when coming after the force near Hawel's house] Highest commander of the Galam army. He hates wrongdoings, so why is he acting like this? New Member blurb: [after defeated in the Red Baron fight]: An honest man who shows respect even for his enemies. Would be reassuring if he became an ally. Claude [Mud] Golem / Unknown¹ A stone giant. Supports the group from behind the scenes without drawing much attention, but can unleash powerful attacks with their huge body. Their weak point is their low movement, but since they can take many hits, they can work well as a shield.

¹Claude speaks casually and uses the rough and masculine pronoun "ore" when first met. In HQ, they are slightly more polite and use the polite and gender neutral "watashi" instead. Because there's not dialogue about them, I don't recall the english version using any pronouns for them as well.

I suppose that the unknown label here is more due to the fact of golems likely not having a biological sex.

Claude does not get a new member blurb, because the guide does not cover the Ancient Pathway as part of the walkthrough.

#shining series #shining force 2 #shining force 2 encyclopedia #long post #giant ass post in fact! has taken a good chunk of my life these past weeks!#never expected to talk so much about the gender of a turtle but that's where we are #pretty sad that this genderlessness here feels just like male-lite but alas lol what did you expect #i'm running with it anyway #also it should be obvious that i just copypasted the stuff from neocities so there's some redundant information from other posts #it's gonna become the norm here a bit. doesn't hurt anyone #same for the links to the website because things are better organized and revised there #oh no i just realized i need to update zynk's tag because i changed the romanization #i want to make a page about character names at some point #unfortunately my phone ate a draft i had

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