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khodorkovskaya · 11 months

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embarrassing storytime

21.06.23

i embarrassed myself big time and now i can't think straight because i want to disappear off the face of the earth like arghdhhghgh

so i had an exam on monday. it was differential geometry which is one of the easier subjects. the prof is very chill, he's not a very good teacher but he's a good guy, you know the type.

and i uhhh... had a panic attack 5 minutes after walking into the exam room. i was shaking uncontrollably, asked to get some air and ran to the bathroom to throw up. like i was literally shaking and crying and throwing up.

so anyway, after throwing up i went back into the exam room and tried to write the exam anyway, all while shaking and still feeling super nauseous. there were lots of calculations and i kept getting things wrong like id write that 2*3 is equal to 5 and stuff like that. so yeah, i wrote god knows what.

and important context, this exam is eliminatory! so if i didn't pass, i would be kicked out of the faculty. and i would have to write an opposition letter to ask them to not kick me out. and get a doctor's note and everything. that's why i was also super stressed. because failing thing exam would possibly mean 4 years of studying down the drain.

so i finish the exam, hand in the paper, cry a little and rush to the maths counselor's office. i break down crying in front of him, saying that it's all over. he consoles me by saying they'll definitely accept the opposition letter if im kicked out, everything will be okay, ive been a good student so far, it's not that bad, etc. and he says that i should see the science faculty counselor and tell him about my situation.

so i call my parents like shit shit shit, im getting kicked out of uni. they freak out obviously. cos that means im gonna have to restart everything and graduate when im in my 30s. and basically not get a job, be a failure, etc. etc. they don't sleep the whole night, they're super worried, my stepdad and my mum get into a fight over all of this. the family is falling apart.

the next day i go see the faculty counselor and he says that if i give a doctor's note saying i suffer from anxiety before getting the grade, i have a 50/50 chance of being allowed to retake the exam. but it has to be done before they announce the grades.

i don't have a gp, i don't know any doctors, especially those who'd be okay giving me a note that says that i suffer from anxiety. my stepdad suggests that i call the therapist i used to go to back in 2020 and say that it's an emergency and that i need to see her asap.

i call the therapist, she doesn't reply so i leave a voice message, sobbing like "this is life or death, please can we schedule a session, this is urgent". thinking about this voice message makes my skin crawl like ughhh it was so bad.

then im like shit shit shit, if i can't get a note from her today, what if they announce the grades tomorrow and im getting kicked out ahhhhhhhhhh

so i message the geometry professor and the two assistants like "guys, i was shaking and crying and throwing up during the exam. im trying to get a doctor's note from my therapist before the grades drop. when are you gonna announce the grades i need to know??? i vomited everywhere, just fyi". again, very embarrassing impulsively written email.

and 10 seconds later the assistant replies like "everyone passed the exam, no worries".

and im like what.

then about an hour later the professor replies and says "i looked at your copy, your work looks pretty solid, you'll get a 4.5 and we'll announce the grades tomorrow, is that okay with you?". and im likeeeee bro

4.5

passing grade is a 4. a 4.5 is like really good. like reeeally good.

so im like shit.

what was all of this for??? why was i so dramatic for no reason?????

i made my poor parents panic for nothing.

i feel so bad.

and the therapist replied yesterday evening like "we can do a session tomorrow at 9am exceptionally". and like for what. what am i gonna say to her now??? that i was being a drama queen????

like i literally want to disappear like i feel so embarrassed. all of this drama for an easy exam. brb im gonna self isolate for a year. like i wanna kms.

and what do i say to the therapist?? like oopsie, i was just kidding. adjhdjjhdjfh i hate that i have to face the consequences of my actions.

#june

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wintersandthebeast · 1 year

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5. Crystallized

RE8 | Wintersberg | Romance, Slow Burn | Action, Sci-Fi

Link to Master List

Ethan felt hot, uncomfortable. He didn’t know if it was being in the sunlight, being recently dead and reconstructed, or maybe both. But there was a deeper, more emotional reason for his malaise--he was about to do something pointless and stupid, and he had to make sure Karl didn’t know.

The same day that Maricara and her children invited Karl and Ethan to a memorial for the crater formerly known as the village, Ethan had successfully pressured Heisenberg into going to the nearest town--real, human town--for living supplies.

The engineer had protested at first, declaring all they needed for the time being was a goat—for unknown reasons— but Ethan’s deadly glare and rather dumbfounded responses seemed to finally soften the hermit’s hardened heart against going out into public. He acknowledged that Ethan was a creature of the modern world, unlike Karl. And he even seemed to perk up and get curious after some time ruminating on the idea.

Ethan felt pangs of longing for his former life when he entered the sleepy town square, Rose in tow on his chest. There were obvious differences than before: no Mia for one, walking around with a trenchcoat-wearing maniac for two, and Ethan had no proof of his own existence--no driver’s license, no ID, no credit cards. He had often just wandered the little towns near his own relocated home after moving to Romania. Had come to enjoy the feeling of newness, discovery. It was a slower way of life, one he’d thought would help his family.

Karl wandered toward a hardware store, but Ethan hung back near the truck Karl had brought them in, with the ruse of going through the supplies he’d already bought. Mostly clothing and hygiene for himself, and everything he needed for his daughter. Ethan had decided on a few extra items. A journal, pens. Snow boots. A new coat. Karl had handed Ethan wads of cash as though it were pennies, seeming to have no end of money or care about what it was used for.

Cash was good. Ethan wondered during the morning’s outing if Chris and his team were even looking for him. Did they know he was alive? Or were they looking for Miranda, thinking she'd abducted Rose?

When Karl disappeared into the hardware store across the square, Ethan put his idiotic plan into gear. He again felt the sweat on his palms, the breath stuck in his throat. He was an idiot, he decided, but he had to know. Closing the door of the truck he jogged back across the street they’d left, toward the old-fashioned pay phone on the side of a building's outer wall.

Did the things even work anymore? Ethan shook his head as he fished out change and glanced across the unfamiliar words of the mounted phone. Shame he couldn’t trust Heisenberg, he mused--this era of tech was right up his alley. Maybe even too new for him. Ethan actually smirked at his own joke, and then felt the change stick to his clammy palms.

Frowning, he picked up the receiver and dialed Mia’s number. This was a stupid idea, and she probably didn’t even have the same number. They’d both been given phones by Chris, before…

Yeah, this was stupid. But it was ringing. Ethan paced the few inches that the silver cord allowed. With his other palm he rubbed his pant leg nervously. What an idiot.

“Hello?” Jesus Christ, it was her voice.

“Mia?” Ethan answered reflexively, inhaling. It felt like Louisiana, all over again. The rush of emotion when he’d gotten her video.

“Oh my god, Ethan? Am I dreaming?”

“No,” he said quickly, and then Mia cut him off.

“Please tell me you took Rose. Please tell me she’s safe.”

Well, more or less. He was happy that at least Mia was worried about their daughter first and foremost. After a pause, and her plea restarted, Ethan interrupted, “Yeah, Mia. She’s safe. She’s with me.”

“Oh thank god.” Mia sounded as though she might cry, her breathing became ragged. So was Ethan’s. And though he desperately wanted to give her his address and wait for the cavalry, he had a nagging question.

“Mia. I need to ask.” How many times had he said that during their marriage? What an idiot, he repeated ad nauseum in his mind. Total idiot.

She said nothing, which was not much better than arguing with him.

“You knew?” he said simply, hearing his voice crack. His lip actually trembled as he stared at the brick wall of the building the phone was attached to. It melted in front of him, shades of orange and rust. “About…”

Eveline’s voice was sharp in his ear. YOU. SHOULDN’T. EVEN. BE. WALKING.

“Ethan,” she sighed, and the usual placating, guilty tone of her voice turned his stomach even more than it had in recent months.

“Cut the shit, Mia. You knew?”

He wasn’t sure why, out of all her lies: the babysitting job, the horrible work she actually did, the plea that brought him directly to the Bakers, the knowledge of what Eveline was and why she was how she was, ALL the lies that he lived with AFTER living as a widower with a missing wife for three years…how this was the one that affected him the most.

But there was something unforgivable about it, because Ethan realized he would have never attempted a life or a family had he known what he was. Rosemary was a miracle, but how was Mia able to agree to having a child knowing what they both were? Was it denial? Was he being too harsh?

His nostrils flared as he hyperventilated.

“I did,” she began, but interrupted her own woven tapestry of soothing words. “Ethan--where are you?”

“I don’t want anything to do with you,” he said, shocked at the tone of his own voice. “I called because.” Why had he called? He actually thought he’d be begging her to come pick him up by now. But his anger was swift. “I called to see if you’d actually tell me the truth for once.” He was numb, dizzy. “Just stay away from me. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

There was the question of their daughter, but he couldn’t even think about that now. It was misplaced, he knew, but Ethan held resentment of Mia for Rosemary’s kidnapping, the whole Miranda situation. Mia had been the one to work for the company helping Miranda, after all. He realized she was speaking, but the ringing in Ethan’s ears nearly drowned out her words.

“...have every right to hate me, but I--”

“Goodbye Mia. For the last time,” he added, remembering how he’d felt when he threw his phone out of the helicopter in Louisiana.

His dizziness increased as he slammed the black, sweat-slick receiver down onto its handle, and now he turned. Rosemary felt heavy on his chest, he couldn’t breathe. Ethan was vaguely aware that he must have looked haggard or on drugs as he stumbled across the crosswalk toward the parked truck.

He saw a few curious stares of passersby, but no one looked too closely. Ethan just needed to make it to the truck, he reminded himself as he clumsily fished out the keys. Just put Rose in her car seat and he could keel over and die for a what, fifth? Sixth? Time?

He stumbled into the side of the truck bed and realized the cold metal felt good against his overheated palms. Behind him, he heard an odd noise. The pay phone was ringing from across the street, causing a few people walking by to giggle and stare at it. Shit. Ethan closed his eyes as he leaned against the cab.

From faraway, he heard a voice. “Papa? What the--”

Karl had called him that. A few times. Ethan tried to open his eyes, but could feel that he was going to pass out anyway. Shit, Rose. He fumbled, trying with clumsy hands to signal to wherever Heisenberg was, to take Rose. It wasn’t ideal, he thought bemusedly as he finally collapsed. Just before he lost consciousness, he felt the other man catch him, his voice getting farther and farther away. Jesus Ethan. I got ya. Easy.

--------

When he opened his eyes, he was sitting at a table. He looked out the window next to him; he was on a cruise ship. A smaller one, a day cruise he’d taken with Mia years ago while they were dating. Ethan looked down at his hands--they were whole again. He was dreaming, then. Or whatever this was.

Sometimes the memories came with molded interactions. Other times they were just dreams. He wondered which one this one would be.

Beside him the window to the ocean gave a magnificent view; he stared out at the peaceful water before sighing. Mia had sat across from him. Now Ethan jumped at the sight of a young blond, her eyes familiar as she sat in Mia’s place, with plates from the buffet loaded up.

“American food is so weird,” she began in an accented voice, before shoving pancakes in her mouth. Ethan watched as she continued to eat, and then after a moment of stunned silence he replied, “Americans usually don’t mix pancakes with pickles and macaroni.”

She giggled at this and made an “oops” face and he smiled; somehow, this person felt…safe. She gave off an air of sincerity, dressed in her strange out of date clothes with an even stranger haircut. She almost reminded him of Karl, looking somehow unkempt and well-accessorized at the same time.

“I didn’t know, it just all looked and smelled so good. But so strange.” She was still chewing.

“You can eat here?” Ethan quizzed, looking around. He’d never really thought about it.

“You can do anything here that you would do anywhere else,” she responded, wiping her lips with a cloth napkin, “And then some.”

Ethan stared around him. The memory was so real and distinct. It was almost exactly as he remembered. But the people around him. They were…different. Some of them were repeated. Some of them didn’t have faces. Others had his face. So it had been. He supposed the megamycete took some creative shortcuts when rebuilding his memories.

“Not as strong as you were when you were here before,” she noted, following his eyes, and Ethan stared.

“What?”

“When you died,” she said. Realizing this was ambiguous the blond set down her eating utensils and squinted at the ceiling. “Err…I mean. When you, when Miranda…” she made a quick pulling motion at Ethan’s chest, then held a fake heart triumphantly over her head, mimicking Miranda’s crazed, maniacal action of pouring Ethan’s heart’s blood onto her face.”

“I was here then?”

She put a hand over her mouth, which made a little ‘o’. Then the girl winked. “You really don’t remember?”

“No, I don’t remember,” he said, getting flustered and angry. Ethan realized he was still enraged over the phone call to Mia, and he picked up a waffle with his bare hands, tearing into it like a dog. Maybe he was just hangry.

It turned to mold in his mouth and he gagged, spitting the pieces onto the plate. “What the fuck!”

“You have to learn to control your powers,” she chided, drinking from one of the ten different glasses she’d put on the table. Ethan realized she had wine, juice, milk, water, and soda just to name a few of the cups. He raised his eyebrows.

“Why don’t I remember?” he asked himself. Karl had said Miranda was a threat. Maybe he’d encountered her after their fight. Maybe he knew where she was hiding, or if she was even a threat anymore. If Ethan had murdered her one last time in the mold consciousness, he wanted to remember that purely for satisfaction.

The blond girl paused while enjoying the water. She squinted at him. Where did he know those eyes? So blue. So bright.

“That death, your body was nearly destroyed. You crystallized.”

“Like Zoe,” Ethan exhaled. He thought of her. Skinny, a fragile air about her. Tousled hair that always smelled like sunshine and sweet tea. Sad eyes, a hollow voice. Soft and kind, a true friend.

A woman walked by the table, dressed in not-appropriate-attire for a day cruise. A stained pink tank top, cutoff jeans, and flip flops. She flopped into the seat next to the blond.

“Hi, Ethan,” she said simply, and Ethan’s face lit up.

“Zoe?”

“More or less,” she answered in her thick Southern accent. Though she looked tired, and sad, she was smirking and there was a hint of happiness in her eyes when she saw him. “I can project into your consciousness if you call me, I guess. You could probably do the same. Guess we're talkin' long distance now.”

“That’s incredible,” Ethan said wholeheartedly, and the blond girl was smiling while she began stuffing more pickles and macaroni in her mouth.

“So, why’d you call then?” Zoe asked, leaning forward, her chin in her palm. “Been waitin’ to hear from the BSAA about how you’re doin, but they don’t tell me nothin’.”

“You and me both,” he frowned. Remembering the original question that had apparently brought her here, he canted his head.

“You were crystallized. Your uncle saved you.”

“That’s right,” she said, and her smile grew slowly. Ethan had helped, however minimally, and one of his only consolations over Louisiana was that Zoe had been saved.

“Did you go deeper into the Mold’s consciousness? Do you remember it?”

She nodded slowly and seemed to contemplate her answer. “Dyin’ like that…it’s different. When you get hurt, the mold seems to keep your mind intact. It’s just a brief interruption on the…” she shrugged. “The signal, of who you are. Like a blip. Then you come back and you're the same. But when you crystallize, it’s almost like…..well, ....a….chrysalis.”

His furrowed brow showed that he didn’t quite follow. The blond, however, nodded enthusiastically and put macaroni on a donut.

“When a butterfly goes into chrysalis it’s not just growin’ wings, you follow me? It gets destroyed, turns to goo. Whatever comes out after that ain’t the same.”

“So you’re saying, when I was crystallized after Miranda…I….”

“You really ceased to be, for a while anyway.”

He was trying not to hold his breath. “But then what happened to you? After you woke up?”

“Well, my memories were there. They came back slowly. All the hurt and pain was there. But I guess….it’s hard to say. That kind of rearranging, it’s…almost spiritual. Don’t you feel different when you’re awake? Walking around with a second chance? Things different, better?”

Ethan sat up, slightly indignant. Mostly he just felt lost. Full of dread.

The blond girl, whoever she was, whispered to Zoe. “He doesn’t remember.”

“Awh,” Zoe said, as though this explained a lot. “Ethan, when you were crystallized, your mind went the deepest it can go into the mold, far’s I know. When you’re that deep you can control your own world, more or less. It’s a little bit like heaven, I think. When I was crystallized my family and I were together an’ happy.” She smiled, then curled her lip. “Well, me and my parents. Not that rat shit Lucas. No Eveline. Just peace."

Ethan snorted despite himself. “So I am missing pieces then. Pieces that might help me…” he gestured vaguely. He was going to say, kill Miranda, but he realized that understanding the mold would also help him, and more importantly, Rosemary. She had been crystallized before as well. Maybe it was something he could learn more about. Help them both.

Both women nodded.

“How do I remember?” he asked, and then heard his own voice echoing as the boat fell away. Before he was in the pitch black, he swore he heard Eveline’s voice.

Ethan woke with a start. The truck was moving, his daughter in the middle in her carseat, Karl driving with the window down even though it was still winter.

“Jesus!” he breathed, looking down at his left hand, seeing the missing digits. Ethan flexed his fingers and then glared at Heisenberg, who barely glanced over at the man being awake. Heisenberg began rolling up the window and Ethan felt slightly embarrassed, realizing that the other probably had the windows down because Ethan had passed out. Maricara had said Heisenberg helped with medical. The horrors in the factory were proof that he at least knew his way around a surgery. It was interesting to think that Karl had such a restorative side.

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Karl said simply.

“What happened to me?” Ethan said in a shrill voice that he didn’t like. The dream had been relaxing, informative even, but the phone call and now the memory of passing out were haunting his consciousness.

Karl shrugged. “Probably just the shock of bein’ alive. I told you not to go out so soon.”

Ethan dragged a hand down his face, and then realized the back windshield was open and he could hear a faint clanging noise. Karl pointed with a thumb. “Got the goat.”

“You didn’t.”

He did.

Ethan looked down in the bed of the truck at the little doghouse, and saw furry hooves sticking out.

Ethan closed his eyes. “Please tell me you’re not going to sacrifice it during the funeral tomorrow.”

“What?” Karl almost sounded indignant. “It’s for you an’ Rose.”

Ethan began laughing, feeling as though this were the dream and the cruise ship were reality. When Karl didn't laugh back, Ethan asked, “What am I going to do with a goat?”

Karl shrugged. “Feed it. Keep it alive. Get milk from it. Good at mowin’ grass. Keepin’ the weeds outta the garden when it warms up. Kids and goats are good together. Their milk makes some good cheese.”

Ethan actually paused in chuckling to stare, amazed, at the other man. Realizing he couldn’t process all of the emotions that came with Karl Heisenberg buying Ethan and Rose a goat , he stuttered toward another topic.

“Heisenberg…” Ethan massaged his temple. “When you…when you died after our fight. You were crystallized, right?”

“Yeah,” the other said in an uncharacteristically hollow voice.

“Do you remember…being conscious during that time?” "Yeah."

#winters and the beast

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dangerousartisanwerewolf · 16 days

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My phone died

Screaming, crying throwing up. I think my phone has kicked the bucket for good. It was on it's last legs for a while but I think last night was it. For a while my phone- if you touch the screen would just glitch into a totally black screen with a small spinning wheel. That was normal so I would use the widgets on my lock screen to get into my phone because they would let me in. I shut off my phone because it wouldn't connect to my airpods so I have to shut it off and try again when that happens, thats normal. But after that it started glitching more- like I would tap a notification or widget and it would glitch instead of letting me in. So I restart it a few times and the last time I did it, after the little wheel had spun for a while the screen went totally pink for a few seconds and when it took me back to home and when I tried tapping stuff it wouldn't respond. Like it wouldn't let me use the torch or swipe up.

My phone has been off for a while. It said I had too much storage so I deleted the bulk of my photos , wouldn't let me take photos anymore and it offloaded my Pinterest, Spotify and Instagram. it still feels that I have too much storage but there was nothing else to delete so I just had to cope with yt and reddit being like the only things I could do on my phone. I couldn't even text anymore! I had to call since texts wouldn't go through. My mom even said she'd never seen anything like it. But these are all things I can cope with/get around. Like I can cope w/o Instagram or social medias because I have them on my laptop (where I'm writing this from btw), I can handle not texting since all you really need to do is call people, I can handle the phone glitching when I open it normally. But you know what I can't fucking work around- the fucking touch screen not working. Like this is game over for me in a sense.

Idk, I know it's not the end of the world really but like prom and stuff id coming up and it would be nice to be able to take photos- I have a handheld camera but like come on, I don't wanna pack one more thing. And I know me and my mom talked about replacing my laptop for college but now I'll need my phone down too. I was hoping I could at least make it to the end of the year with it before telling her it needs replaced, cause those are expensive.

Lowkey missing my old ass Samsung fr......

Had it for like 5 years after someone else and it was reliable til the day I got an iPhone.

Like I left it in my jacket pocket and let it go through a dryer cycle and it was perfectly fine lmao. Honestly thinking of switching back to a Samsung/android when I get a new phone, cause at this point there is no 'if"

#rant #personal rant

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alonelymidwestdreamer · 1 year

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Twice

———

I’ve been dreaming of Oxford

and London

and places I never planned on seeing

I’ve been dreaming of baking you bread

of holding you when you cry

of seeing you blossom into yourself

Ive only ever felt like this once before

Now that this is twice I sit grieving her all over again

i havent prayed in a long time but here i am

praying youll survive longer than she did

I contemplate burning the world down for you

restarting

but everytime i talk to you i feel more like planting flowers

watching them grow

giving them to strangers

you make me question the roughness of my hands

i think id risk blisters and torn flesh just to feel ur soft hands against mine

id file down my callousness

you make me want to learn how to garden

id grow us mint and basil and thyme in painted window boxes

god if only we had more time

i hope we have more time

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shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years

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cake walk bucky barnes x reader

+++++++++

Inspo can be found here, i really liked the idea and kinda ran with it lol

sorry ive been away for a while. ive been in a shit mindset but things around me are changing again and im hoping for the better. im away from home this week and figured id finally finish this, as well as restart the marvel shows on netflix so expect some new daredevil and punisher one shots in the near future 😁

also this is like half edited so if it sucks or i forgot to fix anything sorry

Song: soft by motionless in white

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

Bucky had been super tired lately. He had been having nightmares here and there and though he hadn't had one in a while he was still worried he'd hurt me in his sleep. So he was currently taking a nap in our shared room at the compound. We were only here for a few days to train new recruits and then we would all be back to our own homes. Me and buck, Sam, Clint, even Scott showed up. But then again he was always excited to be part of the team. Now I was in the kitchen like I usually was, stress-baking. But just to be safe, and per his request, I had a camera on buck while he slept to make sure he was still okay and I could rush to our room if he needed me.

So I stood at the island, gathering ingredients and singing softly to myself. not unusual for me to do, it was a good distraction after all and everyone else loved it because it made the place smell great. that and they all loved the many cakes, cookies, muffins, breads, and other baked goods I decided to make. a lovely thought really, one that brought a smile to my face as I began measuring out the dry ingredients. when I turned to look at the monitor though Bucky was gone, making me set the flour back onto the counter. Panic set in immediately. I tapped the screen twice, hitting the tracking cam on his watch and the footage coming up. I sighed deeply as I saw the blurry side video of Bucky murder-stomping his way through the halls. I tapped my own watch quickly.

"attention we have a 'wolf out of containment.' if you see him direct him to the kitchen but do not engage. If you wake him he'll hurt himself."

I said into it, rolling my eyes at the code name, and looking back to the monitor in worry. I heard my voice echo off the walls as he stepped towards the sound. One of the agents was walking down the hall and paused when he saw Bucky, rage behind his eyes as he got closer. Now Bucky was holding him harshly in his metal hand.

"Where is she?"

He said through gritted teeth and i could see both of their faces in the view on my watch.

"Kitchen. Down the hall to the left."

The agent squeaked out. Bucky threw him to the ground quickly before making his way down the hall. I double tapped the monitor again as he turned into the room. There was an intensity and pain strewn across his features as he made his way to me. whatever nightmare this was it had a full hold of him. he had been sleep walking a lot recently but it had never gotten this bad. but he knew what to do, even unconscious. Before he even made it to the table across the room Sam was rushing in behind hi, coming to a screeching halt when he realized what was happening to his best friend.

"I heard the code. Is everything okay?"

He asked and Bucky turned around, throwing a punch his way and him ducking. he made a scared face as he stood back up ready to fight.

"At ease soldier!"

I yelled and Bucky froze, mid motion as he began to throw another. He looked over his shoulder at me, seething, breathing heavy, eyes glazed over.

"Come here."

I said softly. He sent Sam a glare before doing as told, backing his way to the counter where i was standing. he never once stopped looking at Sam, or the other few agents that came rushing in with guns. that definitely didn't help.

"do you need help?"

one of them asked, looking between me and Bucky as he plucked a knife out of the wood block on the counter, holding it in a defensive position as he stood in front of me.

"no, I don't need help. Sam and I can take care of this."

i said matter-of-factly, the agent speaking into their watch and all three of them lowering their guns.

"just leave us be. everything is fine. if i need anything ill call."

they all nodded hesitantly, looking to Sam briefly before leaving. i sighed out when they were finally out of sight, side stepping buck and going back to measuring my sugar and vanilla.

"He sleep walking again?"

Sam asked quietly, stepping very slowly around the table and I nodded, moving to put mix my dry ingredients together. Bucky stood next to me, fist clenched tight around the knife as he watched Sam's every move with vigorous intent. I pulled one of the stools out from under the counter before grabbing a spoon and mixing the wet and dry ingredients together to make the cookie dough.

"Sit."

I offered buck and he sent me a confused looked. I glared at him and he did as told.

"Sam you mind setting a timer on that pad for twelve minutes?"

He nodded and did as told, stepping closer but not close enough for buck to do anything about it. they stared at each other as I molded the dough into balls on a tray.

"has this been happening a lot recently?"

Sam asked and i nodded, pushing the chocolate chips off the ends of my fingers.

"it hasn't been full mission before, and this one is lasting much longer."

i noted, washing my hands in the sink to the right of the counter.

"how do you know what to do?"

i let out a nervous laugh, tucking the tray of cookies into the hot oven behind me.

"in all actuality, I don't. I'm just hoping that the things I've tried before work. "

Bucky looked between me and Sam as I stood back up, drying my hands on the towel and moving to touch his cheek gently. he flinched for a second, staring at me as i tucked his hair behind his ear.

"its okay soldat. you can relax, he's not going to hurt me. he's my friend."

i said very softly, looking over his eyes as he turned back to Sam.

"put the knife down."

i said just above a whisper, moving to stand behind him. i began slowly running my fingers through his hair. he still held the knife tightly as i started to hum along to one of his favorite songs from his childhood. he had shared it with me sometime after we had moved in together. it had been my savior more than once.

"does that work?"

Sam asked and i sent him a look, trying to get Bucky to lean back into my chest. he kept jolting himself back up, fighting the urge to close his eyes. as I got to the end of the song though he had his head completely rested against me, body limp, and knife clattering to the rug beneath us. he had fallen back into a deep sleep, snoring softly as I continued to finger comb his hair.

"yes Samuel, it works."

i said, and then the timer went off. Bucky jolted upright, the stool shaking as i leaned forward and caught him before he fell off. I held his shoulders as he breathed heavily, looking around in deep confusion.

"Sam?"

he asked before looking back at me and drawing his brows.

"hey baby, its okay. I'm sorry we woke you."

he turned to me and took my hand.

"y/n, why am I in the kitchen?"

i let out a nervous laugh, letting him go and getting my cookies out of the oven.

"you were sleep walking again."

he groaned, standing up and freezing when he looked down.

"I didn't hurt anyone... did I?"

he said horrified as he picked the knife up. i shook my head frantically, taking it from him and putting it back in the block.

"no! no no no. baby you did not."

i said quickly through one breath, placing my hands on either side of his face. he looked like he was going to cry.

"hey, no, look at me. James. you didn't hurt anybody. I dropped the knife in surprise when you came in here. it had nothing to do with you."

Sam sent me a sad look as i tried to calm Bucky down.

"you're sure?"

he asked pained and i pulled him into a tight hug, cradling his head in my hand and mouthing to Sam to not say anything.

"yes Jamie I am sure. you are perfectly fine. scared the shit out of some agents. but no more."

he took in a shaky breath.

"i scared you."

he repeated just above a whisper and i pulled him away from me, holding his head in my hands and looking between his eyes.

"you just caught me by surprise, nothing we haven't been through before."

he sighed heavily and closed his eyes. i kissed his forehead gently.

"hey, now that you're awake, you want a cookie?"

i asked and he looked up at me, offering a small smile.

"uh, yeah, id love one."

i nodded once before turning and carefully taking one off the tray and placing it on one of the dry paper towels sat on the counter in front of him.

"made especially for my buckaroo."

i said and he laughed lightly before taking a bite. he was none the wiser and Sam sent me a testing look.

"Sam?"

i asked, holding one out to him and he took it begrudgingly. i went back to finger combing Bucky's hair as he snatched another. sending me a genuine smile as he chewed. i shared another knowing glance with Sam before he pulled another bar stool out and sat across from us.

"these are pretty good y/n, wish we could share with more of the guys here."

he said and i sent him a look.

"well i guess we'll just have to save them some for later. I'm sure they're all very busy right now with other important things."

i said a little condescendingly and he shook his head.

"so uh, i don't know what's happening but if i sit here any longer there wont be any left for anyone else. what do you say we go for a walk or something?"

Bucky said with a smile and i nodded, smiling back.

"i think that's a great idea. Sam?"

he looked from Bucky to me and to the tray.

"uh you guys go ahead. ill make sure these get to the guys, and that the recipe doesn't make its way into their daily reports."

i took Bucky's hand as he stood and nodded once at Sam in understanding. he was going to make sure no one got word of Bucky's incident, just in case. he was getting better after all.

"thanks Sam, it means a lot. come on buck, lets get some air."

#wattpad #x reader #bucky barnes #winter soldier #falcon and the winter soldier #white wolf #334

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pudding-head-kenma · 4 years

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Midnight Boba [ Bokuto x Reader ]

⤔ request: danieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee will u right me smth abt boba and also bokuto working at a boba shoppp please hehe (jk u dont have to but id love it big smooches mwah)

⤔ a/n: i hope this is okay baby 💕

*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*

The sudden crash next to you startles you awake, forcing you to sit up in bed as you look around, disoriented.

For a few seconds, you’re completely lost. Having woken up so suddenly by such a loud noise made it a little harder to focus on your surroundings. Once you do, however, the problem is evident, and you find yourself shaking your head with a fond smile as you imagine the scene just outside your window.

You get up, watching where you’re stepping as you expertly avoid the small glass shards on the floor, the gentle breeze from your now-broken window helping your speeding heart relax. You lean down, picking up the large rock that sat in the middle of the broken glass, no doubt the culprit to the mess that is now your room.

Although thinking it through, the culprit is probably standing just outside in the dark, hands tugging on his hair as he desperately tries not to shout at – you glance at your clock – thirty past twelve at night, surely freaking out about his mistake. He’s probably trying to find the reason his plan hadn’t worked – had he not planned it long enough, when he thought about it all night? Had the rock been too big? Is he just incredibly strong? In the end, it doesn’t matter, because you’re making your way towards the window and looking outside, spotting a very dishevelled looking Bokuto. And as your eyes meet, he forgets trying to find the reason his plan failed, and instead loses himself looking at you.

You smile. It’s a gentle smile, if not a bit sheepish, but it doesn’t matter to him, because it is your smile. He returns it twice as strong, the usual happy grin forming on his lips, completely overpowering you and making you forget about the ruined window you’re looking out through. He looks embarrassed, regretful, and apologetic – above all else, however, he looks happy. All he wanted was to see you, the method is irrelevant.

With a number of over-the-top hand movements, your boyfriend manages to explain – well, something. He’s not exactly discreet or straight to the point, so you have a hard time following his rant just by his hands. You do, however, understand he’s calling you to go downstairs to meet him, so you press a finger to your lips in order to quiet him down and step aside, finally breaking eye contact.

You throw on whatever clothes you find lying around, not particularly interested in dressing fashionably so close to one in the morning, and grab a pair of sneakers to take downstairs. You tip toe through the house, making sure not to make too much noise in case you’ll wake someone up, and put on your shoes once you finally reach the front door. As quietly as the door will allow it, you step outside, the keys rattling as you drag them with you.

You had expected to be greeted from afar, but you certainly didn’t expect to be held tightly against someone the second you stepped foot outside of the door. His touch his gentle, it always has been, but he holds you as tightly as he can without pushing it too far, craving the proximity it holds. You have to stop yourself from giggling, instead wrapping your arms around him in return, never as tightly, but just as lovingly.

“I missed you.” He’s the first to speak, the words muffled against your skin from how he’s holding you, mumbled in a hurry, yet so clear to you. You tightened your arms around him in reaction to the sweet words, nodding your head in agreement. You missed him too, of course.

“It has only been a few hours, Ko.” You murmur sweetly in return, though you’re not sure why. Neither of you care about technicalities, too immersed in each other to care about waking up early tomorrow, about seeing each other in a few hours anyway, about having parted ways not even four hours ago. Perhaps you say it teasingly, pushing his buttons just a little, just enough to hear the whine against your skin, enough to have you smile.

He knows you’re right, of course, and he doesn’t take it personally. He does act accordingly to how he always does, however, making a big scene out of such a small fact. “And so what? I’m allowed to miss my baby, aren’t I? Did you not miss me?” He interrogates, and as you pull away to stare at him you notice the way his cheeks are ever so slightly puffed. You take notice of the glimmer in his eyes when he looks at you, and of the way he doesn’t let go of your waist even after you’ve parted from your tight embrace.

You can’t resist. You chuckle, breathless and faint, more than used to his silly outbursts. You lean forward, brushing your lips together for a mere second before both your eyes close, and you lose yourself all over again as you kiss. It’s not long, it doesn’t have to be, small kisses that end and restart quickly, one chasing after the other once and waiting for the opposite next time, and that seems to work wonders to distract him for a minute. “I always miss you.”

He glows when you tell him that. It’s as if energy fills up his body completely, and all he can think about is you, and what he wants to do with you, and how he wants to keep you close for as long as possible in order to keep this feeling for as long as humanly possible. “Let’s go on a date!” He seems to have forgotten the time, because he has reverted back to talking in his usual tone. To be fair, you’re shocked he lasted more than a few seconds whispering.

“When?”

“Right now!”

He speaks like you’re silly for asking, and truthfully you do feel a bit foolish. After all, it’s Bokuto, it’s no surprise he’d want a date in the middle of the night. Just like it’s no surprise he came to your house and broke a window instead of using his phone to let you know he was outside. So you go along with it, nodding your head in agreement. And that’s all the confirmation he needs before he’s dragging you along, your fingers interlocked as you walk around the empty streets.

“You feel like having boba right now?”

That’s enough to have you laugh a little harder, though you’re still trying to stay as quiet as possible as you walk through the many houses on the street. His words are enough to have you recognise the path you’re taking, to the boba store he works at. It’s a part-time thing, a way to get a little more money, but he seems to think working there makes him an expert at making the drink. In reality, he’s just a server. You remember one time before the place opened he insisted you showed up to get a free drink, and you had both ended up having to clean the place in a hurry from the big mess he made.

“Why are you laughing? I can totally do it this time!”

You’re laughing again, but it’s by no means meant to be mocking. The memory makes you happy, and although cleaning had been extremely stressful since you were on a deadline, his presence had made it all worth it. It always does, really. “No reason. I’d love some.”

He beams, energised all over again. You can’t exactly remember when, but you’ve started running instead of walking. Well, he started running, and your interlocked hands make it so you have to chase after him. However, it’s not the hands that force a smile to spread across your lips – that’s just the aura he oozes, the bright happy glow surrounding him and slowly surrounding you as well, the warm feeling in your chest whenever you see him smile.

You eventually make it to the small shop, and after a few seconds of fumbling with the keys – probably from being overly excited – Bokuto manages to open the door, stepping inside and turning the lights on. You like seeing the shop like this, completely deserted, the only sounds being your footsteps echoing through the room, followed by a loud gasp from you.

Your boyfriend is insane, he has to be insane.

You glance away from the scene in front of you, instead glancing at him for any sort of explanation – but he’s just smiling, he’s just showing you the same big grin you’ve grown attached to, gesturing around towards the table as if your attention should be on it and not on the amazing person next to you.

It might be sleep deprivation, it might be the shock, but you feel like crying. Your legs don’t want to move, and yet somehow they do, both at the same time. The latter seems to win, and you catch yourself running towards your boyfriend, wrapping your arms tightly around him. For the first time in your relationship, you might be squeezing harder than he is.

“I told you; I missed you.”

You pinch his side in order to shut him up, but that only manages to push him further. He pulls back a little forcefully – not that he doesn’t like the embrace, but he really wants to see your face right now. His grin hasn’t been wiped off, you doubt it will be anytime soon, and he’s eagerly searching for any reaction. You grin widely, mirroring him, and glance back at the table again.

You don’t know when he had the time to prepare it, if he had done it himself or if he had asked someone for help. What you do know, however, is that somehow the two slices of cake are aligned perfectly with the table cloth, and that the flowers’ soft colours are the same shade as the two drinks next to the cake, and you can’t even begin to imagine the amount of effort, planning and dedication it must have taken him to surprise you like this.

He seems a little hesitant, seeing your wide eyes staring at the arrangement, so he starts fidgeting in his place. “Too much?”

“Just perfect.” You blurt out quickly, not letting him doubt himself for a second. You move enough to rest your forehead to his, noses brushing together as you do, and your eyes close, finding comfort in his embrace all over again. You smile for good measure just before you mumble again. “You’re perfect.”

That seems to calm him down, and you stay in the same spot for just a few seconds before dragging him towards the table, pulling the table for him to sit down. You laugh at the way this seems to offend him – not because he thinks it should be the other way around, but because he wants it to be the other way around.

Bokuto knows you spoil him. You take care of him, you help him through his bad times, you listen as he talks and talks about volleyball, as he rushes out his words, as he’s all over the place all the time, as he breaks your window and drags you down a few streets just because he misses you. So, in these moments, he wants to spoil you in return.

You jump in your seat as he starts playing some heavy metal song on his phone, and he seems to be startled as well, if the shriek he lets out is any indication. His phone gets thrown half way across the room – as if that would quiet down the noise – and he’s soon chasing after it, managing to pick the right playlist instead of whatever he just clicked on accident.

“That was part of the plan. I needed an excuse to come over here to get the candles.” He rushes out, and although he doesn’t expect you to believe it, you nod your head in understanding, agreeing to his silly story for the sake of making him happy. After a few minutes, he does manage to find a single candle, only to realise he didn’t bring any matches or a lighter.

It’s a little comical; such a romantic setting to the left, but your eyes are focused on the right as your boyfriend awkwardly – and very nervously, one might add – tries to light the candle with one of those oven lighters from the kitchen, managing after about three neverminds and four yells. And yet, somehow, it’s still romantic. Because it’s him. That’s just how he always will be.

When he comes back, you both chat a little, taking in this precious moment you have with each other. It doesn’t bother you when the clock strikes three in the morning, it doesn’t matter that you’ll not get a good night’s rest, it doesn’t even worry you that someone might notice you’re not home.

As you lie together on one of the small couches, barely fitting, having to hold onto each other for dear life, you conclude there’s no other place you’d rather be. There’s no clean room with no broken windows that would make you want to leave this place, that would make you forget this feeling.

He feels the same.

And if you aren’t sure, just in case, he turns to you in order to whisper it.

“Thank you for loving me, Y/N.”

*⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅⑅*❀⑅*❀⑅*

taglist: @cleopatera ; @kunimi-bby ; @snazzieyama

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art-the-f-up · 3 years

Photo

so this is just um, me explaining why i havent been active.

so everyone knows I am too obsessed with my Spidrien comic, and It was so much fun that I drew, like, ten panels and saved them. So shit happened, like it often tends to, and my hard disk completely fried out of no where, wiping out all of my data. The stuff which a regularly saved on drive got saved, but id been so busy with test sessions in college that I just kept saving stuff in my computer, thinking i’d just upload it when i get time.

that time never came. *dramatic music*

lmao all that stuff just went poof im not crying you are-

SO I know I draw fanart (a LOT sometimes) but I wasn’t happy either when I found out that the 125 vector cliparts that I’ve been drawing and collecting for months kind of got deleted, which reminds me I can’t post or sell my vectors anymore. Meaning I’m broke.

So I have restarted drawing, on a new computer, on a new app and everything, and it feels like entering someone else’s house and asking where they keep their stuff kjasaksj

I have this rn:

No one needs to read this, but I needed to post this for the sake of my own sanity. Have a nice day.

#art-the-f-up #not fan art #ml #random

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o-wyrmlight · 4 years

Photo

So I beat Hornet Sentinel in Steel Soul mode... she was a fight that I struggled with significantly in my regular run... and she got stuck in the floor at the very last hit.

Luckily restarting the game fixed it, and it was incredibly funny to accidentally get the Infamous Hornet Glitch (I never thought I would, to be honest), but I was trying to go out of my way to have a genuine Steel Soul run... at least it was hilarious.

Image description below cut:

Image ID: After a long and grueling battle, the little ghost of Hallownest raises their nail victoriously in the air, delighted to have come up on top. If they were any less careful, they would have risked certain death--this wasn’t a dream, after all. They could feel every strike of Hornet’s needle against their shell, every hairline fracture that formed over the mask that held the empty everything within.

If they had a mouth or a voice, they would be laughing. If they had eyes, they’d be crying with relief. Instead, their merriment is contained within themself, giddy laughter within their head. Ahaha! I actually did it! they want to cry out: I actually beat my sister! That’s such a relief!

When they finally settle down, the adrenaline of the battle beginning to fade away, they sheathe their nail over their back, finally taking note of the stark silence and stillness of the red-cloaked figure a short distance away. Hornet is wriggling, a cluster of snow--or is it ash? They don’t recall ever having seen snow--piled high over her lower body. It looks like it’d be easy to pull themself out of, if they were given the chance, if it really were just snow or ash keeping them down, but--

...Wait. Is she stuck?

They pause, writhing within their shell uncertainly, pushing against the mask. There’s a part that wants to call out to her, a word on the tip of their nonexistant tongue. Sis?

Of course, nothing comes out--and they don’t know what ‘sis’ is, they don’t know what a sister’s purpose is other than to bully and fight and be difficult with her younger sibling. And they think they’re younger than her--they’re smaller than her, and compared to the statue of the Hollow Knight in the City of Tears, the both of them were much smaller still than them. They feel like she could be a sister.

With words unable to be voiced, they ask instead to themself: Should I help her?

“Little ghost...”

They recognize that voice--it’s Hornet’s, though the quietness is a little off-putting. They can barely hear her over the howling of the wind about them, snow-ash particles drifting fiercely along the almost-painted landscape. They tilt their head to let her know that they heard her.

Hornet, still shivering, pauses in her wriggling to look up at them. There’s something unsettling in her eyes--a horror, a fear? Their worry about her silence is immediately subsided as her voice booms forth once more.

“GET HELP.”

#hollow knight #hollow knight little ghost #hollow knight hornet #hollow knight fanart #hollow knight comic #my art #my hollow knight

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adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy · 3 years

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hi drea its honey, enjoy my notes. there may be typos, everything looks blurry through my tears (your fault)

also can i just say, youre such a talented writer like every time i think it can’t get better you blow me away. this chapter was so beautifully written, thank you for sharing this phenomenal story with us.

all the love, honey

alright, here we goooo

ysijwa ch 11 notes

- pls imagine a mini anne 🥺

- vampy sewing 🥺

- not him ending up dead in a forest behind homegirls estate what 😃

- doesnt take romance seriously my ass his name is under simp in the dictionary jfc

- “ A human girl, who is as helplessly taken by him as he is by her, who constantly checks in on him to remind him that she has his well-being in mind, and who is the owner of a dazzling smile that is so bright and pure, it makes the vampire believe it could restart the phantom organ that weighs heavy in his hollow chest.” *cue incoherent screaming*

- “He’ll take certain things seriously again for her, and just for her. Only when it comes to her. Always when it comes to her.” *cue honey CONTINUING the incoherent screaming*

- andrea por el amor de dios me vas hacer llorar por el resto de mi vida y ni he terminado la puta cosa que carajo es esto

- communicate that he belonged to her🥺🥺 what the fuck im so soft

- yeah he really is a dumbass for thinking they were j fwb

- the contact name🥲

- AND THE BUTTERFLY!????

- friends but slightly more my ass

- please his growth in viewing the two relationships and how theyre so much different ... you wrote it so beautifully im actually crying on my yoga mat while reading jt

- clingy vampirerry rise

- im sorry, clingy and whipped vampirerry rise

- he knows what her heart sounds like when shes having a nightmare?? *incoherent screaming part three*

- not google...baby no

- “tell me im yours” BITCHHHH

- “fuck me like you mean it” im literally gonna scream

- i need to take a lap

- “i like falling asleep in your arms” personally my ptsd would hate this but im also screaming again so perhaps not

- theyre so cute im gonna vomit

- this little asshole pretending his eye hurts more than it does oml

- no bc id pay to see her spank him pls

- he called her doll🥺 remind me of bucky ajsjda

- A DRAWER????

- hes always so nervous im actually gonna die

OMG THESE ARE GREATSHSHSJDHJWJDHS I LOVE THEMEMDMMD

#ysijwa!ask

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nutty1005 · 4 years

Text

The Gamer Monster Xiao Zhan – It’s not that I am afraid of losing, I just want to win.

Original Article: https://www.weibo.com/ttarticle/p/show?id=2309404484936814952856#_0 Original Author: 小胖子 (Published by: 爱战DAYTOY_1005)

(TN: This is more related to physical games as opposed to video games.)

The highlights of Xiao Zhan in games…

From hopscotch of our childhood, to table top games, to even ice breaker games in working life, games can be considered as a common activity in our lives. Where do all the fun in games come from? A part of it comes from the interaction among friends, and a big part of it comes from competition and the joy of victory. In order to obtain victory in games, you need to find the shortest path to the goal, and that is like problem solving – you need analysis and understanding to find the crux, and you need effective techniques to solve it. Different games have different requirements – some need you to have swift reactions, some need strategies, some would need logical thinking, some needs endurance and patience, some require teamwork, some require physical strength…

When we speak of “Gamer Monster”, I feel that this person would at least be outstanding in most of the above mentioned requirements, so when I saw some comments that Xiao Zhan is a “Gamer Monster”, my first thought was to ask – what qualities does Xiao Zhan have to be called a “Gamer Monster”? After doing some research into his history, I appeared to have found my answer.

Top 2 Moments of Gamer Xiao Zhan

When we speak of the top moments in Xiao Zhan’s game history, we would have to praise the two “45° Inclined Soda” and “Who’s on the Shiatsu Pad”. After watching these two, all I have to say is – intelligence is a good thing.

45° Inclined Soda

Game Mission: To drink the soda in the can down to a specific amount such that the can is able to stand inclined at 45° on the table, as shown in the image below, balanced on a corner:

Xiao Zhan was the first of the eight to complete the mission – what seemed like random chance was actually calculated.

At the end of the game, Xiao Zhan spoke about the secret to this game – “It’s just the principle of equilateral triangle, so you have to drink until the bottom becomes an equilateral triangle, then the corner will be stable.”

In fact, this is a very simple theory, we just need to ensure that the center of gravity of the can is above the corner, and we will be able to ensure the can’s stability; when this happens, we would have an equilateral triangle. For Xiao Zhan, as an art student, to quickly react to with this physics and math theory, we should be quite glad to know that we do not really forget what we learn in school after all.

Who’s on the Shiatsu Pad?

Game Mission: One of the five members of Group A is standing on the shiatsu pad, only their upper bodies are visible. Group B will need to guess who is standing on the shiatsu pad by giving them specific instructions to complete.

From the first look of this mission, most of us would probably have the same idea – let the 5 of them jump on the spot, the one who is jumping on the shiatsu pad is probably in pain. But after understanding Xiao Zhan’s strategy, you might feel that your idea might be a bit too flimsy, after all, people can be acting.

So, what did Xiao Zhan do?

First, he let each of them hop past each position. (It seemed logical, since someone’s expression is bound to slip.)

But! At the end, Xiao Zhan said that he was not looking at the expression of the person jumping, but at the expressions of those at the side – when the person jumps on the location of the shiatsu pad, the surrounding 4 persons would unintentionally look at position, and he used that location to determine the person who was standing on it.

Shocking! We did not know that you’re Mr. Xiao-Calculated-Psychiatrist-Zhan!

Full Marks on Skills, Full Marks on Attitude Sporting:

What is idol image? I don’t know

There are those with idol-worthy looks, but tosses his image away like trash.

There is this game that both guys are tied together with a long rubber robe and they would need to bring items from the basket to their respective tables. Xiao Zhan, in order to increase friction with the ground, took off his shoes and socks, totally ignoring his idol image.

In addition, there is this game where they were to put on pants without hands, and all kinds of weird positions were used.

The only thing we can see in all his expression and his casually tossed away image is – I! Want! To! Win!

Memory Power: I am a lines robot with emotion

When it comes to games that require memory power, Xiao Zhan’s teammates would unanimously nominate him to participate. In the lines memorization game, both teams were to reenact classic scenes from Chinese Drama, and the team with the most number of correct lines would win.

The first scene is a classic scene from “Romance in the Rain” (TN: This scene is already a meme in China.):

(TN: This is the meme edit, where Wang Xueqin would be relentlessly pounding on a door and yelling at the people behind the door.)

Xiao Zhan was acting as … the door, but he is not an ordinary door – he is not only a talking door, he can also remind his teammates of his lines. It’s a door with lines prompting and lines correction.

The second scene is a classic scene from “My Fair Princess”, a conversation between Meng Dan and Han Xiang.

This part was slightly longer, Xiao Zhan not only had to memorize the lines for two persons, he also acted as both roles, and in the end he won the victory for the team, unlocking the title “The Lines King”.

Self Control: A real man will not smile if he does not want to

From many of Xiao Zhan’s interviews we could see that he has a lot of self control – he spoke of dieting and his strict self discipline in his work and daily life. We can see this once again in his performance in the game.

This game required the other participants to try to make him smile/laugh, whereas he will need to control his emotions and not smile/laugh. Xiao Zhan was the only one in the entire session to not only maintain his emotions, he was actually attempting to cry, and in the end he made the other participants laugh instead.

Reflexes: As fast as a rabbit

This is a game where the participants were assigned values, such as 1 dollar or 50 cents. When the game master calls for a specific amount (e.g. 2 dollars), the participants will need to quickly gather together to form the called amount. If you are not part of any group, you would be eliminated. This game required fast reflexes, and Xiao Zhan displayed his quick reflexes by ending the game before anyone else has realized.

In the trash segregation segment for his “Happy Camp” episode, Xiao Zhan not only reacted fast, he also used his actions to prove that “if you change your answers fast enough, you can’t be wrong”.

Using his own advantage: With my looks, I can be whimsical

In the challenge “send a Weibo post without using hands”, Xiao Zhan chose to use his nose, and only spent 52 seconds to sent a 9 worded (TN: Chinese words) Weibo post, winning the challenge.

In the background and in the comments were full of “Zhan Zhan’s nose is so good looking!” You can say that he does whatever he wants with his looks.

Serious challenger: Let’s play well together, shall we?

During team games, we can observe that Xiao Zhan would always be patiently explaining his ideas to his teammates, and suggesting on how to cooperate in order to meet the goal more effectively.

Not only he does this to his teammates, he is also very serious and respectful to his opponents. In this game, where both of them were to cross a log bridge in a sack, and if you were to fall, you would have to start from the beginning. In the whole process, as long as the opponent fell off, he would push Xiao Zhan off the bridge, so that both of them would have to restart together. Despite all these, Xiao Zhan did not get angry, but instead after noticing his opponent’s frustrations, he calmly said “Let me teach how to play this game, let’s play this round well shall we?”