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night-unfurls-its-splendour · 3 years

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The Critique of Manners Part VI

~Or~

An Attempt at an Objective Review of Emma (2009)... VOLUME TWO

Haha, bitches you didn't think I could wait a whole week did you? Nah, not me. and guys, I added to it--all total, it's 9,023 words now. this half of the review is 5,214. HOW DO I HAVE SO MANY WORDS FOR THIS THING? I'm not gonna split it into a third part, because I don't need to for picture limit purposes, but buckle in.

If you didn't catch it, read part 1 here

Here it is, the stunning conclusion to my Emma Adaptation Review series (but this isn't really the end because I plan on doing some rankings later). In this half of my review of BBC'S Emma (2009) we'll discuss Costumes and all the very specific things that I love about this version, and some things I don't like, and some things I'm here to defend.

Let's dive in!

Costumes

Generally I liked these costumes pretty well. They were designed and facilitated by Rosalind Ebbutt, also known for her work on PBS’s Victoria and Vanity Fair (1998). And her work is, as her filmography would suggest, by turns, great and so-so.

These costumes are definitely in line with the adaptation’s general aesthetic: warm pinks and golds, with mints emeralds and blues to cool it off a little, are the order of the day. I really appreciate that every character has a definite color palette. The tradeoff is that this adaptation is the WORST EVER offender for the Jane Fairfax Blue™ trope.

Daywear

Emma’s daywear is full of warm and muted colors. Salmon and magenta are commonly seen. I love that most of Emma’s daywear consists of sleeveless or short-sleeved gowns with wide-sleeved linen blouses underneath. It’s not a commonly seen aesthetic so it feels light and fresh. My favorite of Emma’s daywear dresses is the pale yellow with purple floral print.

There’s one other in particular that I love.

Emma’s blue, sleeveless dress. I love this because of HOW OBVIOUSLY it’s a reference to this portrait of Charlotte, Princess of Wales. I mean...

I’M NOT IMAGINING THIS, RIGHT? WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS? This is a REAL dress. They still have this exact gown of Princess Charlotte’s. It’s on display. It’s faded, but it’s the same dress.

Harriet has a fresh and innocent green, white and purple color scheme with healthy doses of peach and pink showing. I particularly like her white and purple floral print dress.

Mrs. Weston’s color palette varies, but leans heavily on tans and purples, which is very flattering, I must say, to Johdi May’s coloring and is really refreshing for Mrs. Weston who seems to get stuck in pinks and yellows a lot. No idea what’s going on with the laced-front dress though? This doesn’t quite read as authentic to me, but I do like that her first dress seems to be an apron-front.

I know I already said that this is the worst Jane Fairfax Blue™ offender, but guys I can’t stress it enough. WE ARE 5/5 ON DAYWEAR HERE. LOOK AT THAT. (Also of note, Jane 5 is one of Gwyneth Paltrow’s dresses from the '96 Emma.)

Mrs. Elton seems, at all times, to be wearing some form of pink, but I think I’m right in saying that the white day dress with the rose patterned bodice under the yellow and pink spencer is one of Jane’s dresses from P&P ’80. Can anyone confirm that? They did sneak in some Mrs. Elton Orange™ though, for Box Hill, and it’s worth noting that Mrs. Elton is the only lady who’s appropriately dressed on that occasion.

Isabella gets some understated day gowns that are very nice and also VERY “Jane Austen” in the sense that I feel like Jane Austen herself might have worn them.

Miss Bates, unfortunately is slapped with brown at just about every turn, but at least her “Nice” day outfit has some subtle leaf patterns, which is refreshing. Also Mrs. Goddard has a slappin’ cap. Love that.

Also, Harriet’s Grecian costume for the painting (upper right hand corner). What can I say, but that I love it. I love that it hints at the neoclassical influences on Regency fashion too. This is my favorite interpretation of the painting too.

Evening Wear

You know what I love about this version? It’s the first version of Emma where her gown for the Crown in Ball isn’t WHITE. I know, I know white was fashionable, but it’s just… it’s nice for not EVERY gown in a ball scene to be plain white friggin muslin and also, it’s not one she’s ever worn before, which is great.

Harriet does have only white evening gowns but that’s okay. My only complaint is that, specifically on her Crown Inn dress and in a lot of her costumes in general, the waistline seems just a little low. Hmm. I really like the pale blue pattern on her first evening dress though.

Mrs. Weston though. Woo. Look at those. She has a dark chartreuse gown with black lace trim that any other version would have put on Mrs. Elton, so you know from the dark tones that she’s a bitch. Not so with Emma '09, and that’s good. And her teal dinner number is a favorite of mine. I never paid much attention to her green and gold ball gown but it has some really beautiful, subtle leaf or maybe peacock feather patterns on it and I love that. My only problem is that there seem to be some fit issues. She’s got muffin top way too often. Her orange evening dress is a bit of a dud though, firstly, because it has long sleeves (which is an evening gown no-no) and the fabric slaps a bit too much of sari fabric for my tastes.

Jane, not only is put in blue with both of her evening gowns (although one is so pale it borders on white), ONE of them is another Emma ’96 repeat and not only that, it’s one of Jane Fairfax’s dresses in that film! Perhaps that’s enough to make it an homage, and I have to say, I think Laura Pyper wore it better.

Miss Bates only has one evening wear ensemble, but at least it’s cream and not brown.

Mrs. Elton’s gowns are surprisingly understated, and yet still seem to be annoyingly fussy and, what’s better? They’re not sickly green. One of them is actually a very pleasant mint.

Outerwear

Outerwear is roundly pretty great here. Emma’s primary choice of color for spencers is emerald/evergreen and one of them is Elizabeth’s Bennet’s from the 1995 P&P (though to be honest, I think Jennifer Ehle filled it out better.) I do love Mrs. Elton’s pink and yellow number with the slashed sleeves. Jane Fairfax’s only spencer is, you guessed it, blue, but her friend Miss Campbell has a rather fun mauve one.

There’s no shortage of pelisses and redingotes either. Harriet can be seen in one borrowed from Elinor Dashwood in the '08 S&S, Mrs. Weston has a rather fabulous purple one which she wears with the most delicious looking hat I’ve ever seen.

Emma has two. The first one is a great magenta number with military braiding (and I think she wears with it one of the brown slouch hats that Kate Beckinsale wore in the same role) and while the other pelisse is brown, they had the sense not to make her wear a hat with it that was also brown. Instead, they gave her a contrasting color. Good on ya, Rosalind!

Speaking of hats, I don't often single them out for commentary, but I want to here because… the hat authenticity is… kinda spotty. Let me show you.

Okay first of all, Emma may be a teenager in this pic on the upper left, but she is not dressed formally enough for her sister’s wedding (which is what’s going on in this scene) but at least her hat is pretty good. You can see the ribbons are on the inside of the hat here, which is as it should be… but she never wears this hat again. At any point in the series. Instead, we next see her in the one on the upper right and ye gads this is atrocious. WHY IS HER HAT NOT PINNED ON? IT’S SLIDING DOWN THE BACK OF HER HEAD. SOMONE FIX IT. PLEASE. But wait, there’s more. This kills me because these bottom two are so similar to the one she wore earlier (the correct one) but crappier looking. Jeez.

This is not a hat. It’s a peanut. You know who doesn’t have this problem? Harriet. She only has one sun hat but at least it’s correct.

I also wanna touch briefly on this ^ costume continuity issue.

WTF is this? She’s in the hall, her ribbon is contoured to the line of her dress; she goes into the drawing room and… it isn’t anymore? Wha happun?

I took more menswear screencaps for this version than any other version. And that’s because the men just have more outfits that are, y’know, different from each other.

Mr. Knightley is as understated as ever, but I wanna highlight the first pic there and why I love it. This is Knightley’s first appearance in the series and it’s the perfect establishing shot that shows the viewer everything they need to know about Emma and Knightley’s relationship and how it has always been. He sort of materializes, out of focus in the background, but Emma immediately knows he’s there. And to accentuate how much Knightley is part of her home and scenery, his clothes (similar shades of pale tan, white and minty green to the wall behind him) almost camouflage him and make him seem at one with the moulding.

He also has a rather lovely blue evening waistcoat that I WISH I could have gotten better shot of (although I do believe it’s also worn by Henry Crawford in the '07 Mansfield Park, so for further reading…)

Mr. Weston finally gets to wear clothes that aren’t all brown! He only has ONE brown outfit. He gets PATTERNED waistcoats, one of them a rather spiffing blue and brown striped number. And he wears TROUSERS! Because he’s a gentleman, and he’s not that old and trousers are worn by fashionable gentlemen in this period!

You know who else gets to wear trousers and at least one fun waistcoat? Mr. Woodhouse. Check out that lovely Sunday Best™ waistcoat. The red striped one. That’s delightful.

John Knightley’s evening wear intrigues me. That’s a double-breasted jacket, and you know I’m not totally sure that’s very authentic for evening-wear of this period, but it is different. Unfortunately he also has a flared top hat and that is definitely not on for this period.

One of my favorite things about this version is that they don’t dress Mr. Elton as a clergyman all the time. Yes, he may be the vicar, but he’s also allowed to dress like a fashionable, handsome young man. So I’m really happy that he gets to flex his fashion muscles here.

And speaking of fashionable young men, FINALLY frank gets to be COLORFUL and his trousers are even tight enough. Both he AND Elton are often seen wearing TWO waistcoats, as I would expect them to, and even though Frank’s a dandy, he knows that flashiness is gauche so his pops of color are bright, but not in your face. His green and red waistcoats are always worn under more muted colors, and I just love it.

The only problems are… what’s with the turned-down waistcoat collars? There’s no precedent for this, in fact I think it’s directly contradictory to the style at the time, and also it makes the cravats look a bit unruly.

A Critique of Manners

A lot has been said about the manners in this adaption. Like, the actual manners, body language and facial expressions, specifically vis-à-vis Romola Garai.

And, oh yeah, there’s a lot to pick at here, but first I’d like to talk about the facial expressions.

I'm mostly gonna be talking out of my ass here, but this is my take, so if anyone can make a better argument against my points, I am listening, because I don't really like talking out of my ass and I like to be informed. That said...

I tend to be lenient on the… exaggerated facial expressions because, something I’ve noticed reading Austen’s works through the last several months is that Austen is very descriptive when it comes to facial expressions and I just find it hard to believe that people in the Regency Era never made exaggerated expressions like this.

I’ve heard a lot about how Garai’s Emma is not dignified or lady-like. But let’s think about the context of Emma Woodhouse – she’s never been in society. She’s only had a governess to teach her, and we know Emma’s always been sort of averse to being told what she can and can’t do. Emma is the highest ranking woman in her social circle (barring Isabella’s occasional presence). Emma doesn’t have to be ladylike. At 21, she’s already her local Lady Catherine. She puts a lot of stock in her position in society but, as Mrs. Elton will be the first to hypocritically point out, she’s very poorly behaved. I'd be very curious to see what would happen if Emma went to London for the season. Probably, she'd be seen, comparatively, as a country bumpkin. Can you imagine how she might get on in a sea of accomplished young ladies? She can barely handle having ONE rival with any kind of grace.

Austen never describes bodily movements of the kind we’re looking at when we watch adaptations, so why not have Emma’s body-language be un-ladylike in the conventional sense of the time? I’m not saying this to excuse the absolutely inexcusable (Frank’s head in her lap, kneeling on the sofa backwards etc.), but while Emma’s mannerisms aren’t exactly ladylike for her time, they’re not overtly masculine either (which was one of my biggest problem with Death Comes to Pemberly for example.)

Yes, there’s an ideal for manners. But we know real people didn’t always follow those ideals. In dancing for example, many dancing guidebooks of the day were full of repeated instructions not to be too loud or rambunctious when dancing. What this tells us is that people were doing just that, and probably quite a bit, too. I think that, while taking societal strictures into account, we shouldn’t totally discount the idea that people in the Regency weren’t really that different from us, and young people especially.

Now I’ve already mentioned some of the inexcusable aspects of interaction in this adaptation and they’re so notorious at this point, I don’t think that I really need to go over them much here. Although I will say: is it ridiculous to have Frank Churchill put his head in Emma’s lap? Yes. Did it make me more viscerally uncomfortable with the situation on Box Hill than any other version? Yes.

I was like, 14 when I watched this the first time. This was an effective way to telegraph to young people like me that Emma is being extremely inappropriate here in a way that no other version really managed to, even when I watched them when I was older and understood the period more. I’m far more acquainted with Regency manners than I was then, but to be honest – if they had been accurate with the manners here, when I was 14 I would not have understood what the big deal was. Is there merit in circumventing historical accuracy in favor of reaching a less-informed but still-interested audience? Yes, I think so. There were three other versions of this, at that point, that did this scene with more or less pristine manners. Not every version has to follow the manners of the time to-the-letter to be good. That’s my feeling on the matter.

There are things that do really bother me though. Like the idea that Harriet Smith doesn’t know how to spoon soup, for instance. As I said in my review for the Miramax version, table manners are pretty basic, there’s no reason Mrs. Goddard wouldn’t have taught Harriet this. It does provide a good moment to show Emma tacitly coaching Harriet and showing the trajectory in which this relationship will go, but personally I don’t think it was necessary—there are plenty of other ways that could be done.

Also: kids at the dinner table? I know this is part of building the familial atmosphere but it really does annoy me, because apart from building the familial atmosphere (which they do very well and frequently in other ways) it really didn’t need to happen, and it doesn’t add anything.

The Heart of Highbury

So, as I’ve hinted at throughout this review, the bread and butter of this adaptation of Emma is emotion. This version goes hard and heavy on showingthe relationships – Emma’s relationships with Mrs. Weston, Mr. Knightley, her father, her sister, her brother-in-law, Miss Bates; Jane’s relationship with Frank; Frank’s relationship with his father; The John Knightleys’ home life – and it illustrates things that can be surmised from just reading the story, but really draws your attention to them in ways that other adaptations just don’t.

It does this from the very beginning with the prologue which explains in detail (not just in quick exposition between characters) how Jane and Frank were separated from their families at young ages. We know now, from psychological study, that being taken away from their primary caretakers during their formative years is one of the most psychologically traumatizing things for a child. This is deeply important context which is explained in detail by the narrator in 2-3 large pages (in my Barnes & Noble anthology) in the book.

In the featurette on the houses, they talk particularly about Hartfield and the Woodhouses being the heart of Highbury and how they particularly wanted it to feel homey because Hartfield is Emma’s house and they wanted the audience to feel why everyone is so drawn to it, and to Emma; to me that is what they did with the whole adaptation in microcosm.

I usually talk a bit about the dancing and I'm going to here as well because this is maybe the most special dance scene in any Austen for me. Of course I'm going to link to Tea with Cassiane as usual because she knows what she's talking about and I don't. But I wanna add some comments. She gives this a pretty low rating in spite of a generally favorable commentary because of two big oopsies, the circle dance formation is one, and the other is I believe, an issue with the style of dance not matching the tune in Emma's dance with Knightley. Throwing out any objective technical analysis though, this is my favorite Ball in any Austen and it all comes down to the cornerstone of this adaptation--emotion.

All of the songs and dances were original compositions and choreography made for this adaptation. So they're not period per se, but the tunes at least are representative of how Regency dance music should sound. These dances are upbeat, and lively and, damn they look like fun. Everyone is excited here and it makes me understand why dancing was such a big thing. Best of all that excitement adds to the emotional charge of the scene. "The Ship's Cook" is the most fast paced dance and I'm glad they made this the dance where Elton snubs Harriet because it really hits for me just what Harriet would be missing out on if Knightley wasn't so fucking aptly named. In all other versions you get the insult, but the dance that's taking place is usually a Baroque walker so it doesn't seem terribly like she's missing out on much. Here, this is like not getting picked for kickball-- not only is it a slight that no one wants you on their team, but you miss out on even playing the game. Harriet looks so lonely, and her feeling of being out of place rolls off of Louise Dylan so forcefully it chokes me up just thinking about it because I've been there, man. I feel this shit. *dabs eyes*. Ahem. So, yes, when Knightley engages her for the dance the excitement the viewer feels is that much more forceful and Harriet's exuberantly starting to jump in when the timing is off and Knightley gently pulling her back, it just hits me in the feels center, guys. (I wanna take a moment to give a shout out to every camp counselor who ever partnered with me for any game at summer camp.) Emma's reaction too, is gold. Her genuine relief at Knightley swooping in is one of those great reminders that Emma is Harriet's friend, and she does care about her.

Finally on the dancing front, I wanna talk about Emma's dance with Knightley and why I prefer it to the one in the 2020 version. I already talked about this a bit in the 2020 review, so I'm gonna try and keep it brief. That shouldn't be too hard, because I'm probably mostly going to repeat a lot of what I've already said about Emma and Knightley in this version as a whole.

The big thing everyone loves about the Crown Inn dance in the 2020 is the yearning, the sexual tension, the quivering touches etc. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE all of those things but... not all the time. Not in everything, and definitely not in Emma. Because Emma, to me, isn't about repressed sexuality or heated tension or seething passion. Emma and Knightley are the opposite of that, to me, really. One of my mutuals put it best, I think: "Emma and Knightley are more suited to stolen glances than hot touches."

In Part 1 I talked about how Knightley is Emma's comfort object. When Emma is out of sorts, Knightley re-centers her. It helps set up, and puts emphasis on, the crisis of the story in the last act--Emma not knowing what she has until [she thinks] she's lost it. Emma and Knightley are Friends to Lovers done as it should be. She is already so comfortable with him she doesn't even realize her own feelings. She just feels right with Knightley and that's what this dance is here to show you--a foreshadowing of matrimonial harmony.

The dance itself, of course, is always up to interpretation, because Austen never describes how it goes, just that Knightley asks Emma to dance and Knightley doesn't dance (barring charitable causes). If you prefer the sexual tension take, if that, to you is an improvement on Austen's story and gives you what you've always felt was missing, I'm glad that there is a version now that gives you what you've been looking for, but for me, I think the 09 approach hits closer their dynamic in the book.

Now do I do think the Emphasis on emotion maybe went a little too earnest in some places in this adaptation? Maybe. Just a little.

In my last review (1972) I went on a rather lengthy tirade about the scene where they turn Emma’s appeals to Harriet to exert herself and move on following Mr. Elton’s marriage into Emma guilting Harriet into thinking she’s a bad friend for being heartbroken and then throwing her into the situation most likely to rub salt in that particular wound.

In this version, while I love the emphasis they put on the stress Emma puts on her own guilt for being the reason for Harriet’s situation in the first place, I think it’s maybe a little too… much.

That’s the only way I can put it. I know I’ve just said that I think there should be a bit more expressiveness in period drama, but this doesn’t quite match the way I read it (Emma’s a bit less desperate in Austen’s prose. Very dedicated to helping Harriet feel better, but just a skosh more composed). I think she’s even crying in this scene.

While we’re here let’s go over to Box Hill ONE. MORE. TIME.

First of all, this is where this screenplay shines, in my opinion. This is the big turning point in the story and as such, should be a touchstone for the judgment of any adaptation. This sequence in the 2009 version is a perfect crystallization of everything I love about this version—namely that this is the version that, to me, most feels like someone read the book thoroughly, paid attention to what Austen was describing and then actually tried to convey it on screen. A lot of other versions sort of feel (to me), like the director glanced at the page and said “here’s what I want to convey in my version”. Insofar as making a piece of art goes, that’s good. Directors are artists as much as painters are and movies are their canvass, but it’s seldom that you find a director who honestly wants to hit as close to the author intent as possible and this Box Hill sequence makes me feel like that’s what Jim O’Hanlon was going for. I have the book open next to me as I write this and it’s shocking to me how minutely the atmosphere described in the book is conveyed here. Most of all, the fact that Emma’s insulting Miss Bates is not the only thing faux pas she makes here. Box Hill as a whole is a disaster, and it’s largely because of Frank.

“When they all sat down it was better; to [Emma’s] taste, a great deal better, for Frank Churchill grew talkative and gay, making her his first object. To amuse her, and to be agreeable in her eyes, seemed to be all that he cared for—and Emma, glad to be enlivened, and not sorry to be flattered, was gay and easy too, and gave him all the friendly encouragement, the admission to be gallant, which she had ever given in the first and most animating period of their acquaintance; but which now, in her own estimation, meant nothing, though in the judgment of most people looking on it must have had such an appearance as no English word but flirtation could very well describe. “Mr. Frank Churchill and Miss Woodhouse flirted excessively.” They were laying themselves open to that very phrase—and to having it sent off in a letter to Maple Grove by one lady, to Ireland by another. Not that Emma was gay and thoughtless from any real felicity; it was rather because she felt less happy than she expected. She laughed because she was disappointed…” --Emma, Chapter 43

Most other versions rush through Frank’s “excessive” flirting with Emma (Right in front of Jane) to get to “Three Things Very Dull Indeed” as fast as possible, and yes that’s the crowning horror of Box Hill, but there’s a very intricate setting here, too, and this version has the time to lay back and let it all unfold in the oppressive discomfort of an English summer day.

Even better than all of that though is Knightley confronting Emma after it all goes down. This treatment is neither plaintive, nor aggressive as it was in ‘96 and ‘97 respectively. I’ve already extolled the virtues of Johnny Flynn’s Box Hill rebuke, but for a change I’m not going to zero in on Miller’s performance which is, at least as good as Flynn’s, but on Romola Garai’s, which I find superior to Anya Taylor Joy’s. Specifically, her reaction once she’s alone.

ATJ in the 2020 version immediately breaks down sobbing and it’s hard for me to feel that she’s sobbing for “anger against herself, mortification, and deep concern” or that there’s much self-reflection going on there. To me it rather just feels like she’s crying because she got shouted at. The theatrics of it, to me, feel childish and self-centered.

I don’t feel that with Garai’s performance.

“She was vexed beyond what could have been expressed—almost beyond what she could conceal. Never had she felt so agitated, mortified, grieved, at any circumstance in her life. She was most forcibly struck . . . How could she have exposed herself to such ill opinion in anyone she valued! And how to suffer him to leave her without saying one word of gratitude, of concurrence, of common kindness!

Time did not compose her…” --Emma, Chapter 43

Of course one can make the case that Emma's reaction should be a bit childish because Emma is an immature character, but that's the thing--I can agree with you anywhere else in this story but this is Emma's maturing moment. This is her turning point as a character. It's where we should see her reactions shift from the same childish denial we're used to seeing when Knightley scolds her, because this is different. It's not the usual brushing off of big brother Knightley, this is a young woman reacting to an esteemed friend pointing out how abhorrently inappropriate she's been and her having to admit that to herself.

I didn't really want to drag comparisons to the 2020 film into this, not on this scale at least, but this just jumped out at me the last time I watched the new film and I have to express it somewhere.

What I see in Garai’s performance is desolation and mortification. That shocked tearfulness of knowing you’ve been justly reproached for wrongdoing, but being too frozen in a pretense of composure to actually cry about it until you’re quite sure that no one will see you. And especially when it’s someone you esteem rebuking you, the horror of them leaving before you can admit that they’re right. There’s so much more depth here, I think, and I can’t even quite express what it makes me feel.

The aspect of time not composing her is another thing that they decided to put stress on in this version. Emma looks fucked up in the following scenes. When she goes to see Miss Bates, she clearly either hasn’t slept or has slept very badly. I feel like this is maybe an anticlimactic conclusion to this section but I’m afraid I’m very close to reaching incoherence, so I’m just gonna leave it here.

My absolute favoritest thing about this version though—something that sets it apart from ALL other versions and even adaptations of other Austen stories—is the inclusion of the post-confession conversation.

This is something of a trope in Austen books but it very rarely finds its way into adaptations: confessions of love are out of the way, the hero and heroine settle into an easy an comfortable conversation, glowing with happiness as they explain and laugh over their actions and misinterpretations of each other’s choices. It happens in Pride and Prejudice, in Persuasion, and yes, in Emma. This is the only Austen adaptation, that I've seen, to include this kind of conversation in any kind of detail. The 1995 Pride and Prejudice alludes to the corresponding scene in it its source material, but the lines pulled from it get tossed into the confession scene itself and then it flies through to get to the obligatory wedding—a side effect of rushing through endings, a convention I’m rather tired of.

Emma (2009) takes its time with this, as with all other aspects of this adaptation. For a version that’s so full of energy, its pacing is extremely laid back and comfortable, without dragging. When you hear the gentle musical swell and Emma and Knightley have their kiss (this whole confession sequence is so sweet and wonderful in its own right), you expect that to be it. But no, we cut to them, the picture of contented happiness, sitting together on a bench overlooking Hartfield’s garden, just talking and enjoying being together, with no teasing, no pretense. If Jane Austen stories emphasize anything, it’s the importance of communication in relationships, and I think that’s maybe why she made it a point in almost every story to show her characters communicating their feelings in words, even after all the conflict has been resolved. This is my favorite scene in the whole series (In case it being my header image didn’t make that obvious.)

This is followed rather promptly by a cut to the next day, with Emma bursting in to Donwell in hysterics about how they can’t be married because she won’t leave her father alone.

This is one of those maybe over-the-top choices that a lot of people don’t like, but guys, it was so funny to me when I was fourteen and it still makes me laugh. It might seem outlandish, but to me it’s just the emphasis on personal relationships and emotion coming through again and it always makes me smile.

Final Thoughts

It’s hard for me to give a proper round up of my feelings for this section because I think I’ve poured just about all of my feelings on each aspect into its dedicated sections.

At the end of the day, the only thing that really disappoints me about this version is the number of missed opportunities there are here. One of my favorite parts of reading Austen is when I run across a line in dialogue or narrative that just… slaps. But they never make it into the adaptations. Emma is full of them and I just wish that Sandy Welch could have taken an opportunity to slip a few of them in.

In summary, I think this is a wonderful, heartfelt adaptation aimed at getting to the emotional heart of a story that often gets caught up in the Mean Girl-ness of its main character than the coming of age story that it is. It's one of my favorite period dramas because it's one of the few that really captures the spirit of the source material as it's always felt to me. There's really only two other period dramas that I esteem on the same level as this, and they're North & South (2004) and Jane Eyre (2011) and it's for the same reasons; because they impact me deeply on an emotional level--which is what art is supposed to do--because of how well it captures the essence of the story that I know and love.

So did I succeed in a more objective review of Emma 2009? I' feel like probably not. But I tried my best. It’s so hard to be objective about something that makes you as happy as this adaptation makes me.

Ribbon Rating: Most Agreeable (83 Ribbons)

Tone: 10

Casting: 9

Acting: 9

Scripting: 7

Pacing: 10

Cinematography: 7

Setting: 9

Costumes: 6

Music: 8

Book Accuracy: 8

#emma 2009 #emma woodhouse #mr. knightley #jane austen #jane austen emma #romola garai #jonny lee miller #period dramas #regency

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clarenecessities · 3 years

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As my followers may have picked up from my long, spiraling rants, I’ve undertaken a new research project, courtesy of the death grip She-Ra has on my brain. And guess what? It’s finally at Disseminate Information Stage! So I’m going to lay out all of the gods, demigods, and godbeasts of the Masters of the Universe. With sources!

This table is more of a cheat sheet. We’re gonna tackle this god by god, with a section on Actual Lore & a meta section to help you decide how valid you think they are, because frankly some canons are more canon than others.

Asklepia, Benevolent Snake Goddess

Lore: Asklepia is one of two snake goddesses, the benevolent twin sister of Serpentia. We know very little about her abilities, but the Snake Clan (a clan of human warriors) were said to worship her, and they were famed for their architecture and healing. She had the ability to curse and deform people--to what extent is uncertain, but she’s known to have condemned a fallen priest named Ka, whose disfigured likeness now adorns Snake Mountain.

Behind the Scenes: First appearing in the 1987 comic “Il Nero Cristallo Del Potere“, Asklepia remained nameless for over 30 years, until Masters of the Universe Classics (MOTUC) released a few choice bios. For the unfamiliar, MOTUC seeks to reconcile the often contradictory canons into one overarching narrative, which is great in theory, but in practice is kind of like putting ice cream on a hot dog. And calling it a Chilly Dog ® as if that makes it taste better. But I digress. In 2019 they released a bio for the Staff of Ka which finally put a name to the less-evil Snake Goddess, in an obvious nod to Asclepius and the asklepian (that staff+snake icon people put on medical stuff).

Sharella, the Green Goddess and/or “Avatar” of Asklepia

Lore: Contradictory

Long Version: Okay I’ve put avatar in quotes because it is... contentious. Basically, and you’ll see here why I felt the need to make this post instead of relying blindly on the wikis, Sharella was introduced (in the ‘87 licensing guide) as a tribal leader who had joint custody of Gray, the original name of He-Ro’s alter ego, while he was growing up. This was further developed by Emiliano Santalucia’s concept work, wherein she was the leader of the Green Tiger Tribe (GTT) specifically. While the comic concept was not run through licensing & is thus not “canon”, the idea of her leading the GTT persisted. This teeny tiny image of her from Tytus and Megator’s 1987 Italian box art was all we had until 2008, when one of He-Man’s accessories described her as the “warrior woman ally” of Queen Veena, “who had been changed into the immortal green-skinned avatar of the Goddess Asklepia”. In 2009, MOTUC released a figure for The Goddess, apparently forgetting they’d done that shit the year before because the packaging did say “K’yrulla” was her real name. They had to cover it up with a sticker.

So who’s The Goddess? Way back in the days before Mattel solidified any of the lore around MOTU, there were mini-comics released with the toys. Initially, the Goddess served a similar function to the Sorceress in the cartoon, and was in fact sometimes called the Sorceress. She facilitated He-Man’s transformations, gave him missions, was generally magical and mysterious, etc. If you know who the Sorceress is, and you can picture Teela, but green? That’s about it.

Back to Sharella, though. The Third Ultimate Battleground rolled around in 2015, and for the first time since some packaging in the 80s, we saw Sharella in action! She was shot through the heart with a poison arrow. Yeah. But don’t worry, she received a blood transfusion from Moss Man (who we’ll get to later), and was transformed into the Green Goddess! She’s immortal now. How Asklepia figures in here is sort of unclear, which is weird since this is still part of the MOTUC line, but whatever. Whatever! Queen Grayskull (the aforementioned Veena) received a bio in 2015 as well, which described Sharella as her apprentice who became “The Goddess”.

Horokoth, Aspect of the Mother Goddess

Lore: DC went a little batshit (pun intended) with the lore for the Eternity War. Here the Goddess is three combined aspects, “Serpos” (Serpentia) for the Snake Men, Zoar for the human “Eternians”, and a third, invented deity called Horokoth, who represents the Horde. Horokoth is “the coming destroyer. The darkness at the end of days.” and is represented by a bat.

Behind the Scenes: That last link has a clearer picture of her, it just didn’t crop well. Also, I confess I couldn’t bring myself to read Eternity War. As thrilling as the prospect of a cohesive narrative is, if I wanted to see Adora slit her brother’s throat there’s the edgier side of deviantArt to peruse. Therefore I know little of Horokoth outside of a few still images of Hordak. The bat was almost certainly selected for the Horde’s vespertilian emblem.

Hordeous, God-Beast of Horokoth

Lore: A “primordial”, bat-like godbeast of Horokoth, created in response to the god Saz’s feline races. Their face was “forever infused“ on the surface of Horde World by Horde Lord (Hordak and Horde Prime’s father in the MOTUC canon) to grant their family power and immortality.

Behind the Scenes: Yes they’ve used some words wrong, but they’ve got the spirit, right? Hordeous was (allegedly, this is secondhand) an invention of the MOTUC crew in answer to Horokoth. Now, the Horde Supreme bio predates Horokoth’s introduction by about 3 years, but obviously the comics were in production already. There’s an undated sketch of Horokoth Hordak from an undated interview (thanks for nothing you useless website) but in that same gallery there’s an orko sketch labeled 2012 so. We’re good right? That makes sense, timeline-wise. Anyway the comics slam dunked Horde Prime out of existence and combined him with Horde Lord so it’s contradictory anyway. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Serpentia, Malevolent Snake Goddess

Lore: The evil counterpart of Asklepia, Serpentia is the goddess of the Snake Men. The priest Ka of the Snake Clan forsook Asklepia in her favor, destroying Asklepia’s sacred orb and stealing the Serpent Ring (an artefact capable of transforming humans into Snake Men) from the Ophidian Spire with King Hsss. In DC’s triune interpretation of the Goddess, Serpentia (here ‘Serpos’) is blood, passion, and desire. A primal and primordial force appearing to the Snake Men in their own image.

Behind the Scenes: Okay yes I’ve reused the Asklepia pic but in my defense they are twins and this is the easiest one to crop. So here’s the thing about Serpentia: we only got a name for her in 2019. We knew there was a snake goddess, and she was pretty evil, or at least hostile towards mammalian life (see: the source of the pic I chose for her). Where Asklepia references the asklepian, ‘Serpentia’ is a much more heavy-handed snake reference, even though Anguis was right there. Those Masters Mondays came through for us, though, with the shield and staff of Ka, Ssssylph, and of course MOTUC’s Dark Despot Skeletor, which is. something. Though only recently named, Serpentia has been a shadow over Eternia since the Snake Men’s introduction in 1985 (or, depending on how much of the presented backstory you accept, even sooner in the form of Skeletor’s lair, Snake Mountain).

Serpos/Sarcedon, God-Beast of Snake Mountain

Lore: Contradictory, but the gist of it is he’s a very large snake with elemental magic and a grudge, that was turned to stone and became Snake Mountain.

Long Version: Snake Mountain was conceived of towards the end of 1982, but wasn’t revealed to the public until September of 1983, with the debut of the Filmation cartoon. For another year, the snake coiled around its summit was simply a carving, its mouth hollowed out for Skeletor to stand in and loom. But in 1984 the Snake Mountain toy was released, completely discarding the Filmation design in favor of the hewn face of the figure we now call Ka. Instead of a snake carving winding its way up the peak, the Mattel toy featured a ‘striking serpent’, alive and attached to the mountain itself. From there, it was an easy leap to make to ‘this carving comes alive’. So easy, in fact, that they did it twice!

First attempted in 1985 in the newspaper storyline “Vengeance of the Viper King”, the snake was here called Sarcedon, the World Destroyer. At the dawn of time, he was said to crush Eternia within his deadly coils. He burrowed deep into the ground, causing fearsome storms that nearly destroyed the planet. Only a fearless hero (implied to be He-Ro) could defeat and imprison Sarcedon. Using a macguffin called a Mirror of History, He-Man forced Sarcedon to behold his own reflection in a reference to the Medusa myth that kind of missed the point of it being reflective. Sarcedon was sent back in time, Snake Mountain was restored, the good guys win, blah blah blah.

That was the last of it until the MYP cartoon in 2004. Serpos as a name was actually first invoked by Mer-Man in a 1982 minicomic, but like it probably wasn’t about the snake. Anyway in the MYP cartoon the Snake Men get this thing called the Medallion of Serpos that lets them un-petrify the snake around Snake Mountain, grow two more heads, and unleash his godly wrath. He breathes fire, trashes Eternos, beats up He-Man, then turns his attention on Castle Grayskull to consume the Orb of Power (containing the strength and wisdom of the Elders, who had first trapped him in stone). He-Man cuts off Serpos’s extra heads with a sword upgrade, the Elders are somehow magically restored to life, and they re-petrify him. Snake Mountain is restored, the good guys win, blah blah blah.

Zoar, the Fighting Falcon

Lore: Contradictory, but it sure is a bird!

Long Version: While Sharella’s backstory is fraught because of the comics couldn’t decide what they wanted her to be, Zoar was similarly tangled up by the toyline. Initially male, he went through several color schemes, some prettier than others. Though there was a vague association with the Sorceress before the cartoon (recall that pre-Filmation, the Sorceress was just the Goddess), Filmation made them literally inseperable by designating Zoar as the Sorceress’s falcon form, to which she was confined when leaving Castle Grayskull.

Some of the comics and Golden books showed Zoar as being flipping enormous & ridden into battle as a steed by Teela and Man-at-Arms. Pre-Filmation, Zoar was always referred to as male, but post-Filmation, always female, as an incarnation of the Sorceress.

The Eternity Wars comics describe Zoar as the third aspect of the Goddess, the ‘Great Preserver’ whose light would shine through the universe for eternity. They pull off a sort of tripartite priestess thing where it’s Serpos/Zoar/Horokoth represented by Teela-Na (the Sorceress)/Teela/Evil-Lyn.

MOTUC, of course, had to reconcile all of these contradictory canons. How’d they do it? “In the folklore of Eternia, the golden falcon symbolized the godhead Zoar, a powerful deity of Preternia. As a god, Zoar could appear in both male and female guises and while the blue-tipped female falcon was associated with the Sorceress of Grayskull, the golden falcon represented Zoar's masculine nature.” So Zoar is genderfluid now, and the Sorceress is merely borrowing their form when transforming into a falcon. This bio also established that Zoar had anointed the first Sorceress, Veena (Queen Grayskull), which explains why she has wings for no apparent reason.

Also it’s not offically MOTUC but the scultors of the line, Four Horsemen, made a single anthro Zoar for Power-Con 2013. In case you need that for some reason.

Glorybird, Emissary of Zoar

Lore: Many millennia ago, there were three siblings, who were very poor and mistreated by their stepmother, but had hearts filled with kindness and love. Zoar, recognizing their resilience and desire to help people, sent an emissary named Glorybird. Glorybird bestowed upon each sibling a divine gift, but as they used their new powers to fight for good, their stepmother revealed herself to be a Celestial Witch & attempted to sacrifice them to Zoar’s “greatest enemy”, Horokoth.

Backstory: Okay, so the Star Sisters (and Glorybird) were in exactly one episode of She-Ra, primarily to set them up as new toy designs. While prototypes were made for these, the figures weren’t actually produced until MOTUC released figures for them in 2012. Though they were referenced in Princess Prom, and we saw a brief cameo in a background, Glorybird was absent until the introduction of the Star Siblings in Season Five.

That’s right! This bird is a god, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Saz, God of All Felines

Lore: One of the “Gods of the Multiverse” (he is the only member named explicitly), Saz was a blue-furred, feline deity responsible for the creation of all cats, humanoid or otherwise. He transformed himself into an enormous cat-beast to defeat Serpos and Hordeous, whose progenitors created them in envy of his children. Though Serpos was defeated, Hordeous escaped into the cosmos, and Saz himself vanished mysteriously.

Behind the Scenes: “By the whiskers of Saz!” is a fun pseudo-swear made by various cat races throughout MOTU, first in He-Man’s “The Cat and the Spider” and later in She-Ra’s “Magicats”. That was the only real mention of him until... okay, so MOTUC bios aren’t always attached to the product. Starting in 2018, they did this thing called Masters Mondays where they put unposted bios on the org forums. So while we’ve had the sword since 2010, we didn’t get the background on it until March of 2020. And then a couple weeks later, the Cat Mask of Catra bio referred to him as a “mystical being” instead of a god, but the mask was from 2011 so. He may not have been a god yet. It really depends on when the bios were actually written.

Saz wielded a blade probably best described as a falchion, whose quillon & langet formed a vaguely triangular shape around a deep red gem. I want to be clear that while it looks totally rad, this sword would be very impractical and have poor structural integrity were it not made by a literal god. Do not make swords like this. Also it’s almost certainly riffing on the Sword of Omens from Thundercats (affectionate).

Sabe-Or, Son of Saz

Lore: A green-furred, orange-striped paladin, Sabe-Or is one of the only named Ancients. He inherited his father’s blade upon Saz’s mysterious disappearance, and lived for centuries more. Upon his death, he transferred his “heroic essence” into a group of Eternian tigers, forever transforming them into the Green Tiger Tribe, whence both Granger (steed of King Grayskull), and Cringer, steed of Prince Adam.

Behind the Scenes: So “Battle Cat Man” is a concept that’s existed since they decided to make their hero ride a wicked tiger into battle. If you show a kid a superhero, and a supertiger, apparently the natural inclination of most children in the 80s was to combine the two. There are so many custom action figures. So, so many. Sabe-Or is visually a clear reference to this concept, and canonically seems to be the closest we’re going to get outside of the Thundercats crossover, unless you count Cowarros from 4H’s Mythic Legions line (I do, because it means Purrrplor is also canon and I fucking love calling him that).

Moss Man, Ancient Eternian Nature God

Lore: An ally of King Grayskull, Moss Man was something of an Eternian cryptid in the centuries leading up to He-Man Times. He has control over all plant life, the ability to meld with plants, and apparently can imbue sentience to said plants.

Behind the Scenes: Moss Man wasn’t featured in many episodes, because he’s a little... incredibly over-powered. He’s literally Bigfoot from 5000 years ago with magic powers. And like, since I don’t think the writers appreciate how long 5000 years is, you know what happened 5000 years ago? Stonehenge. This bitch is Stonehenge-old. But sure, you can trace a direct line of descent from his contemporary. smh. Anyway according to MOTUC his real name is Kreann’Ot N’Norosh so make of that what you will. Also his toys were pine-scented. I just love that.

Evil Seed, Rebellious Creation of Moss Man

Lore: Created by Moss Man to help fight in the Great Wars, Evil Seed betrayed his master and turned to evil (who could have foreseen this...), finding joy in corrupting all forms of plant life for his own amusement. Moss Man imprisoned him in enchanted chains, keeping him restrained for many millennia.

Behind the Scenes: According to MOTUC, his real name is Sero Malustro, clumsy New Latin for “(to) plant evil-burnt“. Why his name is New Latin and Moss Man’s is... whatever that is, I have no idea. As you can see from the image I included, he originally had an artichoke head, which was upgraded for the Mike Young Productions (MYP) cartoon. Personally I think the artichoke rules.

Volcana, the Fire Goddess

Lore: Canonically, she’s a fire goddess, and the mother of the Volcano Magus. Together, they are a rising force that seeks to conquer Etheria in the wake of Hordak’s defeat.

Backstory: Volcana has taken a long a twisted journey, but was first revealed to fans at Power-Con 2016 in a panel revealing previously unseen concepts and characters. After the first wave of She-Ra toys, a second wave was planned with a snow focus, to bring more attention the Filmation-neglected Frosta. This began with the introduction of a fire villain, an “evil lady that glows with heat” who would attempt to melt Castle Chill. That concept actually refers to a character named Amber (not Ember, as one might assume) who was reworked into a benevolent counterpart, Volcana’s twin sister.

Volcana was later fleshed out to be a Fire Goddess with flame-red hair, x-ray vision, and arms sculpted with flames. Her cape flew up with flame detail that rose up to control the volcano (of Volcanica, a proposed toyset that seems to have been reworked into the Crystal Falls). She was emphasized by Mattel to not start fires, which, honestly, is probably why they scrapped the character. He-Man couldn’t use his sword as a sword; a woman made of fire was basically doomed.

Now, though, we’re several decades in and lines made for collecters that are largely in their 30s and 40s can say whatever they want! So she’s canon, even if Amber isn’t. Yes there’s only one mention of her. Amber technically was mentioned in an unproduced episode titled “Amber Waves of Flame”, but as it was unproduced, it’s noncanonical.

Volcano Magus, Sinister Son of Volcana

Lore: Living within a dormant volcano, the Volcano Magus of the German audio plays was the source of most of Catra’s power and all of her evil intent. He supplied her with magic for spells and schemes with which to assail the Crystal Castle, but neither she nor Clawdeen were aware of the dark influence he held over them.

In the MOTUC canon, he’s specified as the son of Volcana, a demigod from the “Region of Volcanoes” who craved the nature magic of the Whispering Woods. When he learned the Twiggets were inextricably linked to that magic, he used his powers to petrify the former Rebels (this was after the Horde's defeat) and kidnap three Twiggets to drain the magic from their souls. Twiggets, for the uninitiated, are like purple tree-elf things. According to MOTUC, Razz is a Twigget, though the ‘real’ name they assigned her doesn’t fit their naming convention. She is purple, I guess.

Kowl, who avoided petrification, read Razz's spellbooks to find a way to save his friends, and learned of an Entrapment Gem that she hid in a shoe, for some reason. He confronted the Volcano Magus, spoke in the ancient tongue of the First Ones, and sucked him into the Gem.

Backstory: Admittedly this stuff is second hand, as I don’t speak German & they only have transcriptions/translations for the He-Man tapes anyway, but if anybody can find me an audio file I will do my best to verify. The MOTUC stuff at least I can confirm 100% because it’s from 2019 & I do speak English, for better or worse.

Oak, the Jackal God

Lore: Oak was the terrible Jackal God worshiped by the denizens of Zhar, an ancient civilization that once existed in a remote, forested region of Eternia. Long ago, Oak was imprisoned within a statue which could be found within the Temple of the Jackal. When Skeletor removed the statue from the temple, Oak broke free of the enchantment which imprisoned him and wreaked havoc on Eternia. Although the Jackal God was immensely powerful, he could be weakened by the elements of nature and was ultimately foiled by a rainstorm conjured by the combined powers of He-Man's sword and the magic of the temple's guardian priest.

Backstory: I have lifted this from a He-Man guide word for word as I cannot for the life of me find a copy of the Brazilian Editora Abril comic he came from, O Templo Do Chacal (1986). The description is like, suspiciously similar to the plot of the He-Man episode The Cat and the Spider, except the Grimalkin was never described as a god. The rest of it--statue, Skeletor, storm defeat--plays out almost the same. True pity I can’t find the original source, but I do trust this guidebook. You may be interested in Ceres from the UK comics--another dog-slash-statue who frankly might as well be a god himself, but as he’s not called one in canon he’s not going on the list.

The Bitter Rose Goddess

Lore: As Man-at-Arms told the legend, “Every day, a woman climbed Rose Mountain to look for her husband to return from the war. Alas, he never came back. Her tears poured from her cheek and entered the ground. One day she disappeared, but where she stood was a single, solitary rose. It’s the only thing that grows on Rose Mountain.”

The Insect People, who lived at the base of Rose Mountain, believed that the Bitter Rose is all that held the mountain together (and when it was picked, they were proved right). After the flower was restored, it transformed into the Bitter Rose Goddess herself, who explained that she had been a prisoner of her love's sorrow, so bitter that she refused to allow anything else to grow on Rose Mountain. She blessed the surrounding area, blanketing the jagged peaks with roses, and disappeared.

Backstory: She’s kind of... barely a god. She showed up in one episode and no other media & has objectively less power than like, every single demon they ever brought in. I almost didn’t put her on this list.

Mask-Ra, Goddess of Masks

Lore: A goddess who created the magical Masks of Power.

Backstory: Mask-Ra was first mentioned in 2019 and like, look, I’m gonna be real. I don’t respect her. She’s an invention of MOTUC (unless they were drawing on this concept art of Maska-Ra, which I doubt bc he was a Man-E-Faces precursor) and they retconned her into having created Catra’s mask, which is kind of redundant given the entire episode Magicats. This mask did not need two bios. There are no other mentions of her in any canon.

Potential other Masks of Power: The Deemos and Tyrella masks from the He-Man episode “Masks of Power”, lizard and canine masks from the mini-comic “Masks of Power”, Lord Masque’s Demon Mask from the He-Man episode “House of Shokoti, Part 1″, and whatever the hell Red Shadow has going on.

Procrustus, Giant Guardian of Magic

Lore: During the creation of the various dimensions (5 in MOTUC canon but demonstratably higher everywhere else), the gods installed the four-armed, immortal giant Procrustus to guard their secrets at the heart of Eternia. There lay the Starseed, from which the entire dimension was created. It still held immeasurable power, and could be used to conquer entire universes. Hordak, in an attempt to access the Starseed, cracked Eternia in two with the Spell of Separation. Though he was (mostly) thwarted, from then on Procrustus was forced to hold the two halves of Eternia together from within, lest the planet break apart and the Starseed be exposed.

Backstory: First appearing in the mini-comic “The Magic Stealer!”, Procrustus is a lot more tangible than most gods. We know where he is, at all times, and he seems confined to one size. His powers appear to be largely physical, as he had to burrow out of the ground to investigate in the mini-comic instead of teleporting or like, magicking the dirt away. This was his only appearance until MOTUC released a figure for him in 2012. He also showed up in the Subternia map the next year, holding Eternia together.

Standor, Cosmic Creator of Power

Lore: “Before time began, the great Gods of the multiverse convened in the Hall of Power to create all that was and all that will ever be. Head architect of this great task was Standor. A cosmic being of unlimited imagination, Standor helped lead his fellow deities by fueling their energies with raw creative force.”

Backstory: Released for Comikaze 2013 to celebrate the partnership of Mattel and Pow! Entertainment, Standor is literally just Stan Lee But a God. The prototype was called Standar--idk why they changed it, but I think it’s because it’s too easy to confuse with “Standard”. They made a bio for his sunglasses. I don’t want to talk about it.

Bash-Or, Slain Mystic God-Beast

Lore: Very little is known of Bash-Or, the Ram. His last remnant was sealed within the Ram Stone by the ancient sorceror kings of Zalesia, imbuing it with his divine power to overcome any barrier, magical or otherwise.

Backstory: Bash-Or was revealed in the bio for the Ram Stone, September of 2020, but his spirit (previously referred to as ‘the Spirit of the Ram Stone’) was twice utilized by Skeletor in the MYP cartoon, to great effect, before the stone was destroyed.

#she-ra #spop #motu #he-man #clare shares notes #edited to actually include the gd graph

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kosakashuntaro · 3 years

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the oresama teacher art book arrived! more pictures below the cut.

the art book is about 100+ pages long, same size as a standard japanese manga volume (so slightly smaller than english volumes, and smaller than A5). it’s full color with a glossy finish and heavier paper weight than usual. because of the small size and paper, it’s quite difficult to take good photos of it. but the artwork inside is awesome, so if anyone has a scanner and would be willing to buy an extra copy, you could share so much cool art...

it’s included on the special edition of oresama teacher #29. i highly recommend buying it!!! it’s super amazing to see all of tsubaki’s colorful art together!

unfortunately, i can’t take many photos, so if you want to see specific characters/artwork/notes, then please message me and i’ll try to deliver.

the book first begins with an intro by miss tsubaki herself!

next, there’s a couple of pages of older artwork from pre-2009. it’s all stuff you’ve seen before so i won’t bother sharing (actually, i won’t share in general unless it’s art i haven’t seen on the internet before). the amount of individual pictures on each page really varies; for some, there are single-page illustrations or even double spreads, but for others, they’ll stuff four or five illustrations on the same page. each illustration has a little note stating what year it was drawn and the source of the image. some pictures have an even bigger note beside them explaining things.

interspersed throughout the book are “item collection” pages that detail merchandise created for oresama teacher. most oresama teacher merch isn’t sold in stores or anything; they’re included in the monthly issues of hana to yume. i think the rubber straps and can badges were the only exception.

this was a bag included in a 2008 issue of hana to yume! tsubaki even included it on a chapter cover spread. i saw this bag on surugaya a while back and wanted to get it tbh... btw, you can also tell how old oresama teacher is by the fact that it had flip phone straps...

then, it’s all chapter cover pages (including that one one-shot tsubaki did). i don’t know what shueisha and square enix got going on, also, but there’s a ton of gekkan shojo crossover art as well. like, does no one ever question how tsubaki’s allowed to do so many crossovers when her characters belong to separate publishers!? or have i got my info wrong...

more merch! this one here was a collectible card created for the 35th anniversary of hana to yume. other hana to yume series should have something similar as well~

next is new year greeting cards. all of these are on her twitter so i won’t post them here, but it’s basically crossover pictures between oresama and gekkan shojo characters.

just some random okegawa and maizono pic i haven’t seen before. it’s from the first drama CD.

a whole page dedicated to those little rubber straps and the initial artwork for them!

i feel like i’ve seen this mafuyu a lot, but never the okegawa side.

it then has artwork from her blog! she doesn’t really use it anymore, though you can still see all the artwork there. and... it even includes the oyayubi kara romance (the magic touch) illustrations as well! she’s not totally ignoring it after all.

after this is drama CD and twitter drawings; just scroll through her twitter to see those. it then goes on to textless, full page hana to yume covers... and volume covers!

sorry, i can only take one photo for example. i don’t want to ruin the book by flattening out the page. but, this is why i’m saying it’s totally a good idea to get an extra copy if you have a scanner, it’s just way too cool to have so much clear and textless oresama teacher art.

after that is artwork done for calendars (including the sexy santa maizono picture). they also show off the new years shikishi and paper bonuses. i’m not really sure what the paper bonuses are, maybe included with the volume editions or something? they put like 10 on the same page so it’s impossible to see them well, though. my favorite is the one where okegawa is daydreaming about mafuyu being his prince, but the picture is really too small to show.

then, there’s some more color chapter covers, and finally, the character profiles! i think this is the same as the one on volume 16 but with less characters. for some reason it includes yamashita but not miyabi, so i truly have no idea where tsubaki’s priorities lie.

that’s the end! i ended up just sharing super old artwork, huh... most of the book is newer art too, oops. once again, i apologize for not being able to post many photos, and if you want to see specific characters/artwork/notes then please tell me.

i really really suggest you buy this book if you’re an oresama teacher fan, there’s just so much amazing artwork and it’s totally worth it!

#oresama teacher #official art #mafuyu kurosaki #reito ayabe #kohei kangawa #yuto maizono #text

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whatiwillsay · 3 years

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off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too! i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me. i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo!

Part I - At least one fake rs!

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay. Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything! We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another. cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them? Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March? Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship? Perhaps! Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach. The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there! Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating? Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay. Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists. Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues. I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes! It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019. They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos. I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married. All jokes aside this is fruity behavior.

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn! It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe. Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia? (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened. And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs. Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women. Is she gay? I don’t know! But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think? Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni. Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

#selena gomez #gaylena #taylena #gossip #cara delevingne #julia michaels #lesbian #sapphic #of interest #taylor's fruity friends

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iotiamohd · 3 years

Video

@iotiamo follow for follow? <3

Schrödinger’s Leak

We’re extremely sorry to say: this is fake. We made it because we’re agents of chaos to prove that it was possible to do something like this in two days. It took a lot of work at the sacrifice of our sanity, but we did it, and filmed on a phone like the original leak was, it could pass off as real. (Look through this blog if you want to see the ugly truth of the HD version.)

The problem is...we were originally doing this to prove that the leak was real, because “no way someone would do this in two day, especially without getting paid”, and instead not only we realized it’s possible, but we’re left with more doubts than before. Keep on reading if you’re interested in what we (didn’t) find out, and what we did to put this together.

We could have posted this a bit earlier, but we didn’t want to distract from the #SomethingToSay campaign.

IO TI AMO

Guys. Guys, we wish we could explain the sheer amount of things Vittorio Guerrieri, Cas’ voice actor, has been in. This man is in every anime dub ever, it’s impressive—we knew finding that specific “Io ti amo” was a losing battle, but we still tried.

Oh, God, did we try. We went through English scripts of all the rom-coms he’s dubbed; compared that to the Italian subtitles of those same movies, looked for working links to stream the Italian dub and check if the “I love you”s we found were the right one....brain cells were lost. Progress was not made.

We settled on using the one in Marley & I (lmao), that Owen Wilson’s character says to the dog to his wife. It’s even better than the one in the leak, in our humble opinion, @ og leaker, suck our collective dicks.

Pictured here: Owen Wilson confessing his undying love for Dean Winchester (as he should).

ANCHE IO

The closest match we had is Dean's Anch'io, (me too).

Although it wasn't a Supernatural "exclusive" line, we decided to search within the original scripts and look for an Italian corrispondance. We found it.

2x20 [9.54] - What Is And What Should Never Be It not only was a perfect match in terms of sounds, but after analyzing the file with Audacity we had no doubt about it. Furthermore, if you overlap the OG leak's "me too" with the one we found, they seem to perfectly fit.

Listen to the cleaned and compared audios here, and stay tuned for our mixtape, it’s gonna be straight fire.

Here are the graphs. The “Anche io” from 2x20:

“Anche io” from the leak:

Obviously we didn’t expect them to look the same, considering the differences in audio quality, but they’re still very similar. It was listening to the audios side by side that convinced us.

...Is this proof that the leak is fake? Idk. Probably yes. But what if it’s a coincidence that they’re so similar? How different could the two graphs for two small words said by the same person possibly be, after all. And what about all the other lines that we couldn’t find a match for? You see now why we’re conflicted.

CASTIEL

The original idea was to go through every. single. time. Dean says “Castiel” in the Italian dub, hoping to find a perfect match for the one in the leak. We figured every other line could have been taken from the voice actors’ older works (both Castiel’s and Dean’s are very popular here in Italy, and their voices have appeared in...everything, basically)—but that “Castiel” had to come form Supernatural.

We didn’t find it. We went through a lot of the episodes with Castiel in them, the ones with more emotional scenes first, and found nothing...we ended up getting distracted by the search for Mi dispiace, Dean, when we realized that also had to come from Supernatural. We settled on using the first close match we thought of: the scene in 09x01 where Dean is praying in the hospital’s chapel.

This is not the “Castiel” used in the leak, so we can’t prove that it’s a recycled line stoled from an older episode of the Italian dub. For all we now, Stefano recorded it for 15x18.

“Castiel” from 09x01:

“Castiel” from the leak:

Does this prove anything, considering how bad the audio quality of the leak is? We wouldn’t get the same exact graph even if it was the same snippet of audio. (By the way, when we started this we thought that Dean had rarely said Castiel’s name like that in the dub. We’d forgotten than Italian!Dean never calls him Cas, the asshole.)

The same problem remains: did the leaker find some obscure anime episode where Guerrieri says Io ti amo and used it to dub Castiel, or is this all very real, and that’s why we couldn’t find it anywhere? We don’t know, we just don’t know.

MI DISPIACE, DEAN

Apart from the very wistful "Castiel..." right before Dean gets chucked on the ground (lol get rekt), the other line that came without a doubt from Supernatural is "Mi dispiace, Dean."

I'm sorry, Dean, a sentence that Cas doesn't say that often throughout the show: we checked the English scripts, and we found only three instances where it happens (we only have up until season 13 dubbed in Italian, so if he ever says it in the remaining two seasons, it certainly doesn't have an Italian version).

5x22 - Swan Song: Cas says it, and it's very obviously not the one in the leak. The tone is completely different. 6x22 - Meet the new boss: again, close but no cigar. 7x01 - Reading is fundamental: at first we thought it was the exact same one, and that's why this particular Mi dispiace, Dean is the one you can hear in our fake leak. After checking with Audacity, the one in the episode and the one in the og leak don't correspond. It's just the closest we could find.

So...? What does this mean? We don't know. It's very possible that Italian!Castiel does say Mi dispiace, Dean somewhere in another episode, straying away from the original English script, but without transcriptions of the Italian dub available online, we had no idea where to start.

It's also possible that the leak is real, and that's why we found no doubles for this line.

Also: we've seen people in various posts about the leak saying that the change from "Goodbye, Dean" to "I'm sorry, Dean" is suspicious. It's not uncommon to change lines if it means lipsinking them better, and considering what was happening in the scene, it's not out of place to have Cas apologize to Dean. It wouldn't sound weird to someone who has never watched the original episode.

But, there's another argument to make...Cas has never said goodbye, Dean in older episodes (as far as we could find), and the og leaker was forced to use the next best thing they could find in the Italian dub.

THAT MONITOR...THAT DAMNED MONITOR...

That monitor in the leak looked so sus at first. Is it normal for professional studios to use equipment older than some people on this hell site?

Apparently yes.

We've found a bunch of photos of voice actors in front of the screen they use at work, and they all look like that. Dusty.

These pictures also confirmed that the punctuation in the frame rate changes—sometimes it's all :, sometimes it's all ; (like in the case of the OG leak), sometimes it's mixed. Once again, we can't prove anything one way or another.

This is a pic from 2009 of Davide Chevalier, Sam's voice actor, and the framerate looks different from the one in the leak...then again, it's from 2009. What does it mean? What does it all mean?

FINAL CRIES FOR HELP

If you know more than us, please tell us:

Did we read the Audacity graphs correctly? Do they prove/disprove anything that we didn’t mention?

Does the framerate make any sense? Are we being bamboozled?

Do you have any insight on whether or not season 15 is already been dubbed? We know that season 14 will go on air in bundles of three episodes starting from the 12th of December, so it’s not crazy to think season 15 is already in the works.

Was this worth it? Was any of this worth it? We slept very few hours last night.

tl;dr: in conclusion, we CAN’T affirm with absolute certainty if the Italian leak is fake or not, since we have evidences leading both way. Sadly, the final word will be when the episode will actually air next year.

IRTF - Internet Research Italian Rogue Task Force

#destiel #supernatural #destielgate #italian leak #italian dub #supernatural 15x08 #spn 15x18 #jackles longcon

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snowonthebeachftlana · 3 years

Text

July 2016

Jul 3rd - Taylor's 4th of July festivities kick off at her Rhode Island house. Guests include Tom Hiddleston, Abigail Anderson, Matt Lucier, Claire Winter, Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Karlie Kloss, Josh Kushner, Austin Swift, Ruby Rose, Harley Gusman, Halston Sage, Gigi Hadid, Cara Delevingne, Britany Maack, Ben LaManna, Martha Hunt, Jason McDonald, Uzo Aduba, Chioma Aduba, Jordan Masterson, Kesha, St Vincent, Ed Sheeran, Cherry Seaborn, Rachel Platten, Kennedy Rayé and the Haim sisters. (x) (x) (x) (x)

This is the day Tom wears the infamous 'I <3 TS' tank top while they're all at the beach. (x)

Jul 4th - The online mockery for the 'I <3 TS' shirt is quick to pour in. Daily Mail commenters are yet to shut up about it in 2021.

The party continues with a giant inflatable waterslide, body painting, karaoke, charades and fireworks. (x) And also Kesha and Haim getting tricked by Cara, Uzo and Ruby into thinking they heard scary noises in the night, and trying to call the police but not knowing their own location. (x) (x)

Jul 5th - The day after the party, when all the guests post their photos online.

Britany posts a photo of her & Ben, Blake & Ryan, and Taylor & Tom. (x) The internet has a field day with Ryan's unimpressed facial expression. (x) (Ryan later says that it's just his resting bitch face as he wasn't aware a photo was being taken. (x))

Taylor posts several photos to Instagram of her celebrating the 4th July with friends, but doesn't post any pictures with Tom. (x)

Claire Winter posts a bunch of Polaroids, including one of Taylor and Tom kissing. (x)

Abigail posts a photo to Instagram showing the banners Taylor put up to celebrate her engagement to Matt and the anniversaries of Cara & St Vincent (real name Annie Clark) and Ed & Cherry. (x)

Jul 6th - Taylor and Tom fly out of Rhode Island (x) and arrive at LAX that evening. (x) They then get on a plane to Australia.

Joe attends the Warner Music Group summer party in London. (x)

Rumours are swirling that Tom is no longer in consideration to be the next Bond, due to his relationship with Taylor. (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Jul 8th - Taylor and Tom are flying on a commercial Quantas flight so someone is able to take a pic of them on the plane. (x)

According to another passenger on the plane, Taylor plays Scrabble during the flight (presumably on her phone because nobody takes big physical board games on commercial flights and the creepshot of Hiddleswift on the plane suggests she wouldn't have had anywhere to put the board anyway). In hindsight, knowing how Taylor and Joe play lots of Scrabble together including online Scrabble aka Words With Friends, and how they stayed in touch largely via texting that summer, it’s very possible she was playing against Joe.

Taylor and Tom arrive in Sydney, where Tom is about to start filming for Thor: Ragnarok. (x) Aussie media, including daytime TV, goes nuts over Hiddleswift's arrival in the country. (x)

Flying from LA to Australia involves crossing the international dateline, so they would have left the US on the 6th July local time and arrived in Sydney approx 15 hours later on the 8th July local time.

Calvin's new song Olé, written for John Newman, is released. There is speculation that it's a Hiddleswift song, written from Tom's perspective and containing lyrics implying that Taylor cheated on Calvin with Tom. However, sources also told multiple outlets that the song was written and recorded months earlier, and its supposed links to Hiddleswift were just for publicity. (x) (x)

Jul 9th - Tom goes out for a run (x) and avoids answering questions about Taylor. (x)

Jul 10th - Taylor and Tom go out for dinner to Gemelli Italian restaurant in Broadbeach on Australia's Gold Coast. (x)

Jul 11th - Taylor is named as the highest earning celebrity on the 2016 Forbes Celebrity 100 list, with earnings of $170m mostly due to the 1989 World Tour. If she and Calvin had not split up, they would have been the top-earning celebrity couple. (x)

Jul 12th - Taylor visits Lady Cilento Children’s Hospital in South Brisbane. (x)

Jul 13th - Us Weekly makes a wild claim that Tom is planning to propose soon, and Taylor is going to say yes. The magazine cover also claims they're already talking about babies. (x)

TMZ claims that Taylor wrote TIWYCF, and that Calvin disrespecting Taylor following its release was the reason for their breakup. (x)

Taylor Swift really is the creative brains behind Calvin Harris' monster hit "This is What You Came For," and their relationship fell apart because he disrespected her when the song was released ... this according to sources connected with Taylor.

It's a fascinating story. We've learned an early fan rumor about the song is true, but to a deeper extent than anyone suspected. During their relationship, Taylor wrote the song, sat down at a piano and did a demo into her iPhone. She sent it to Calvin, who loved it. They both went into a studio and did a full demo with Taylor on vocals and Calvin doing the beat.

They both knew the song would be a hit, but Taylor wrote it for Calvin and both agreed it was a bad idea to let the world know they collaborated as a couple ... it would overshadow the song.

So Taylor, who kept the publishing rights, used the pseudonym Nils Sjoberg on the credits.

The problem in the relationship came the day the song was released. Calvin appeared on Ryan Seacrest's radio show and Ryan asked, "Will you do a collaboration with your girlfriend?" Calvin responded, "You know we haven't even spoken about it. I can't see it happening though."

We're told Taylor was hurt and felt Calvin took it too far.

It was a quick downward spiral from that point. One source called it "the breaking point in the relationship." The Met Gala was several days later, when Taylor danced with Tom Hiddleston.

Tree confirms to People magazine that Taylor did write TIWYCF under the pseudonym Nils Sjöberg. (x)

Calvin also confirms that Taylor wrote TIWYCF and goes on a Twitter rant:

Katy Perry tweets a gif of Hillary Clinton with a smug/'told you so' expression. (x) She also retweets an older tweet from May 2015 which reads, 'Time, the ultimate truth teller.' (x)

#TaylorSwiftIsOverParty trends on Twitter (x) (x) and Taylor's Instagram comments are spammed with the snake emoji. (x)

Following Calvin's tweets, TMZ publishes another article claiming he is downplaying Taylor's involvement in the song as she wrote the melody in addition to the lyrics. (x)

Jul 14th - Taylor goes out shopping in Gold Coast. (x)

Tom mentions Taylor in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter: (x)

You're in the middle of a cultural frenzy right now because you're dating Taylor Swift. How would you respond to people who claim that you're involved in some sort of publicity stunt?

(Laughs.) Well, um. How best to put this? That notion is — look, the truth is that Taylor Swift and I are together, and we're very happy. Thanks for asking. That's the truth. It's not a publicity stunt.

Martha says at a Pepsi/World Emoji Day event that Taylor and Tom are 'both happy and free together. It's amazing, I'm all about people being happy in love.' (x)

Kim talks about Taylor and the Famous controversy in a clip from an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. (x)

“I never talk shit about anyone publicly, especially in interviews. But I was just like I had so had it,” Kim says in the clip to her sister Kourtney. “I wanted to defend him in it. She legitimately quote says, ‘As soon as I get on that Grammy red carpet I’m gonna tell all the press. Like I was in on it.’”

“And then she just didn’t like the reaction?” Kourtney says in response.

“Yeah, and you know just another way to play the victim,” Kim replies. She then brings the infamous VMAs moment from 2009 by saying, “It definitely got her a lot of attention the first time… I just don’t think he should be punished for it still to this day.”

Jul 17th - Kim posts an edited recording of Kanye and Taylor's phone call. In it, they discuss the 'I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex' line and Taylor says, 'Go with whatever line you think is better. It’s obviously very tongue in cheek either way. And I really appreciate you telling me about it. That’s really nice.' However, nowhere in the Snapchat video does Kanye consult her about the line, 'I made that bitch famous,' which is the line Taylor insisted she had never approved. (x) The other Kardashian sisters retweet and support Kim. (x)

(The full recording of the call, leaked in 2020, confirms that Kanye never told Taylor he was going to call her a bitch. It also shows her reminding him that she sold 7 million albums before he had even heard of her, in response to him suggesting the lyric, 'I made her famous.')

Kim takes to Twitter to call Taylor a snake.

Taylor posts a statement on Instagram responding to Kim's Snapchat video. (x)

Selena tweets, 'There are more important things to talk about… Why can’t people use their voice for something that fucking matters? This industry is so disappointing yet the most influential smh' (x)

Katy Perry tweets, '#RISE above it all' and links to her new single. People interpret it as a dig at Taylor. (x)

Martha Hunt tweets, 'It's pathetic how quick our culture is to sensationalize a fabricated story...' (x)

Jul 18th - #KimExposedTaylorParty spends the day trending at number one worldwide on Twitter. (x) To the point where 0.8% of all tweets posted in the entire week from the 18th-24th use the hashtag. (x) (Assuming that 1/7th of the week's total tweets were posted on each day, that means more than 1 in every 20 tweets on the 18th used the hashtag.) #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty also returns.

TMZ claims to have a copy of a letter from Taylor's lawyer, dating back to February, demanding that Kanye destroy the recording of their phone conversation and reminding him that it is a felony to secretly record a phone conversation in California. (x)

Taylor changes the name on her writing credits for TIWYCF on the BMI songwriters database. She is now listed as Taylor Swift instead of Nils Sjöberg. (x)

Camilla Belle, the subject of Taylor's 2010 song Better Than Revenge, posts a quote to Instagram which reads, 'No need for revenge. Just sit back & wait. Those who hurt you will eventually screw up themselves & if you’re lucky, God will let you watch.' (x)

Abigail tweets against Kim and Kanye, saying, 'May God forgive you & your wife for doing to others the very things you pray are NEVER done to your daughter.' She deletes the tweets after receiving death threats but leaves a tweet which reads, 'Guys…I will always stand by my best friend. There's no point in fighting over that.' (x)

Joseph Kahn (director of many of Taylor's music videos) defends Taylor on Twitter. (x)

The aunt of Dinah Jane from Fifth Harmony tweets, 'I always knew @/taylorswift13 was a SNAKE! Trying 2 break up my girls & use @/camilacabello97 as her protégé bitch bye you’ve been exposed!’ (x) The tweet is soon deleted and she claims her account was hacked. (x) (Camila quit the band at the end of 2016 and has since said that Taylor had nothing to do with her decision to leave.) (x)

Paula Erickson, Taylor’s former publicist from 2007 until 2014, likes a two-and-a-half-week-old tweet dragging Hiddleswift for being a badly executed bit of PR by Taylor and Tree. (x)

James Corden spoofs the recorded phone call on the Late Late Show. (x)

Calvin is rumoured to be dating Tinashe. (x)

Jul 20th - Todrick Hall defends Taylor, saying, 'She's one of the most genuine people I've ever met in my entire life.' (x)

Uzo Aduba says Taylor is 'a beautiful person and strong' and that she will overcome the Kimye drama. (x)

Paula likes another tweet shading Taylor and Tree. (x)

A graffiti artist creates a mural in Melbourne 'in loving memory of Taylor Swift' (misspelled as Smith). According to the artist, they are then contacted by Taylor's lawyers and threatened with legal action. (x)

Jul 21st - Taylor's Wikipedia page is vandalised with insults. (x)

Taylor and Tom fly back from Australia into a private airport in LA, and are seen out and about. (x) (x)

Jul 22nd - Fergie, who had Kim appear in her M.I.L.F. $ music video, says she thinks the Kimye-Taylor feud was planned and 'they’ll probably all come together at the MTV Awards or something.' (x)

Taylor goes to the gym in LA. It is the first time she has appeared in public since Kim posted the edited video, and her phone screen is now shattered. (x)

She also returns to Instagram to wish Selena a happy birthday. (x)

Jul 23rd - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

Tom is at Comic Con in San Diego. (x)

Calvin lip-syncs to Kanye's song That Part in a video posted on his Snapchat. (x) He also attends J-Lo's birthday party and is photographed with Kim. Apparently they have a friendly chat. (x) A source claims to E!, 'When Kim walked in Calvin saw her and stood up. He was clearly excited to see her and said 'hi' to Kim backstage.' (x)

Jul 24th - Taylor blocks the snake emoji from her Instagram comments section using a new Instagram feature. (x)

Tom is seen at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills with members of Taylor's security team. (x)

Jul 26th - Tom flies back to LA from NYC, where he has just spent a couple of days. On the same day, Taylor's plane arrives back in LA from Nashville, where she has spent a couple of days. (x)

VMA nominations are announced. Taylor is not nominated in any category, despite Out Of The Woods and Wildest Dreams being eligible, leading some people to think she has been snubbed. Gossip Cop, an outlet widely used by celebrity publicists to quietly squash rumours, says that Taylor did not submit any videos for consideration this year. (x)

Jul 27th - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

John Newman, singer of Calvin's song Olé, jokes, 'Supposedly we had a holiday where he was movin’ on from his ex-missus,' referring to the trip to Mexico to film the music video, which involved girls and a yacht. He also says he doesn't think it's his place to say what inspired Calvin to write the song. (x)

Taylor and Tom go for dinner at Hillstone restaurant in Santa Monica. One source claims they 'seemed to really be enjoying each others’ company.' (x) It is the last time they are papped together.

Kanye makes a surprise appearance at Drake's concert in Chicago where he responds to Kim's Snapchat video for the first time, saying, 'All I gotta say is, I am so glad my wife has Snapchat. Because now y’all can know the truth. And can’t nobody talk shit about ‘Ye no more.' (x)

Cara appears on James Corden's show and talks about how she, Uzo and Ruby pranked Kesha and Haim at Taylor's 4th of July party. She mentions consulting Taylor and Tom first so that security knew what they were up to. She also says that Taylor and Tom got woken up at one point by all the noise they were making, and came upstairs together to find Cara and Uzo still making ghost noises. (x)

Jul 28th - Taylor goes to the gym in LA. (x)

Jul 29th - Sources close to Calvin deny rumours that he is planning to collaborate on music with Kanye. (x)

Abigail likes E! News' Instagram photo of Tom and Taylor going out for dinner on the 27th, which has a gushing caption about them. (x)

Jul 31st - Taylor is seen entering her gym in LA through the back door. (x)

A fan sees Tom and Taylor at The Church Key restaurant in LA. (x) The outing is not papped.

Intro // February // March // April // May // June // July // August // September // October // November

#taylor swift #hiddleswift #tayvin #swiftwyn #jaylor #toe #taylor swift in 2016 #timeline

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skitskatdacat63 · 11 months

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if u’re still doing these… top 5 most insane martian moments.

Sry for the late response, I really had to think on it! But these have been pretty fun to do so thank you!! <3

1. The entirety of Monaco 2010

Any Monaco celebration has a special place in my heart as you probably well know! But just Monaco 2010 as an entirety is insane to me, to name a few: the matching Porsches...their parc ferme hug...Seb trying and failing to pull Mark into the pool...them jumping into the harbor together and Seb having to pull Mark up onto the dock, MONACO REALLY GAVE US SO MUCH 🤧 but also this race being the calm before the storm, like seeing them be all cute with each other but then knowing how the season ends and how things continue to proceed after that

2. Their Singapore 2008 date

Always holds a special place on my heart. Just that we have so many pictures and even footage(!!!) of their PR mandated date in a time where this kind of thing wasn't really common yet. The caption of the YouTube vid "Mark Webber and Sebastian Vettel share an evening in Singapore" 😵‍💫 and I also think often about this comment on that vid calling Seb a "kleine Mädchen." I just think it's very cute. Giggly STR Seb and older gruff RBR Mark, not yet affected by teammate tensions

3. Japan 2007

I think its always very interesting the foreshadowing you can read into while watching older races. I love that Martian were always on an inevitable collision course. Like imagine being Mark and that rookie who crashed into the back of you then goes to win a race before you and then becomes your teammate and then becomes wdc. That they were on this collision course before they even became teammates and Seb had barely been in the sport yet. And LIKE that quote from Mark about Seb about "kids with no experience" and Seb crying in his garage, crazy.

4. Turkey 2010

I have such a fondness for "WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE!? WHAT A STUPID ACTION! I'M GOING HOME! FUCK YOU!"(to the point where my friends who know nothing about f1 know about that quote by proxy bcs I quote it so much") I think it's interesting how much Martian's conflicts revolve around team orders and disobeying radios. It's funny bcs in Turkey 2009, a very similar situation to both Turkey 2010 and Malaysia 2013 happens, them telling Seb to stay behind Mark bcs of whatever reasons. And in 2009, Seb is clearly 🫤 about it but obeys but then goes on to try to overtake Mark in 2010 and fails, but then succeeds in 2013, very interesting to see how that dynamic evolves and grows more toxic! But by far the best part about Turkey 2010 is them having to take that "Us in our Get-Along T-Shirt" pic 😭 it's so funny and I wish they'd do press releases like this nowadays

5. That Monaco 2021 interview where Mark interjects about knowing the meaning behind the coins in Seb's race boots

It's just very sweet to me. There's some post about it on here that explains how meaningful it is, but I don't feel like searching for it, so I'm kinda just paraphrasing that. But like imagine them having a conversation where Seb explains it to Mark and the meaning behind it, and like probably a decade later, Mark still remembers it in perfect detail, enough to remember about the specificities about which coin goes in which boot and why.

Obligatory mentions: Malaysia 2013 of course(but I wanted to mention others, but Multi-21 is a given when considering crazy Martian moments), Australia 2016 podium, Mark's various Instagram forays during Seb's retirement, that one interview where Mark grabs Seb from behind while Love Will Tear Us Apart plays, when Seb sat on Mark's shoulders, anything of them from Abu Dhabi 2022, etc etc

#okay this post is a lot longer than i thought itd be #i had to hold myself back from adding pictures to everything i just tried to put a lot of links instead!#i almost finished making this and then tumblr glitched and i thought it deleted all of it #but it just posted it so i privated it but hopefully it will still show up to people!#this was fun to make bcs i was brought back to my early days of learning their lore(not that im ever finished tbh)#also if you hadnt guessed my favorite season is 2010(cough cough heard you're a player)#but intense teammate rivalries like theirs is so interesting #youre fighting for the wdc and wcc so you're forced to constantly be fighting for yourself but still have to consider the team as a whole #and as I mentioned i love the progression of Martian #guy who crashed into you and ruined your race in 2007 then wins a race before you for your JUNIOR team #then he becomes your teammate and scores the first win for YOUR team that youve already been in for 2 seasons #and then hes your main rival in the next season and he wins the wdc at the last race before you #and then you have to watch him win the next 3 WDCs and meanwhile theres so many interteam tension #and then you retire and you become very fond for each other and have very cute interviews until his very retirement #OKAY SORRY THAT WAS SO MUCH LMAO #ive been so sebson brained lately so its fun to think about martian!!!#also dru if you see this tysm your blog was super helpful for finding stuff from specific events hehehe #martian #sebmark #formula 1 #catie.asks.

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dojae-huh · 3 years

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sorry talking abt something not really related to nct but im kind of tired of ppl blaming the companies when fandoms themselves cant support their idols. luna was given alot of push from sm, shes one of the few idols who wowed the judges and audience on masked singer before it became a phenomena it is now. it was her reveal that pushed the show to the heights it enjoyed in ifandom. she was given all kinds of genres to work with she dances better than seulgi and sings better than most sm singers but sadly she doesnt have the looks that kfans like. they hated her for her muscular body and thick thighs now the mamamoo girl is praised for them. luna also has more stage presence than most new idols but sadly in 2009 ppl judged u more on ur face than ur talent. 1. /watch?v=Wxq0gq6TA_0&ab_channel=SMTOWN 2.watch?v=KR-Z3YYM5xw&ab_channel=SMTOWN 3./watch?v=gyNYCrrYcBY&ab_channel=SMTOWN 4./watch?v=leiLl603fvg&ab_channel=SMTOWN 5./watch?v=leiLl603fvg&ab_channel=SMTOWN 6./watch?v=lpwG8f9nt4s&ab_channel=SMTOWN 7./watch?v=VkFFGVfquFU&ab_channel=SMTOWN this is why we see idols changing the way they dress to how they change their features slightly, doyoung got his teeth straightened and has had his nose straightened. mark never shows his curly hair or why everything that they post is so edited. they live in a society where looks matter in jobs more than ur qualifications or talent. this is also the reason idols keep such a close eyes on their fans, they stalk their fandom as much as the fans stalk them, they need to know what is working and give that to their fans for example doyoung starting voting bubbles and still posting the pics he wants to, the fans keep thinking hes sharing himself while doyoung getting away with sharing nothing. a few weeks ago i realised that nct 127 are so secretive abt their parents. other than johnny we have never seen pics of their parents or family. i know what shinee boys siblings look like and what they studied and even what their jobs are but 127 never shares

back to how fans affect the idol directly and indirectly, so when an idol changes their image than realise that kfans wanted it, doyoung went from a sarcastic smart mouth to oh so cute for this same reason. fandom is what makes or breaks an idols career not the company

Link, Link2, Link3, Link4, Link5, Link6, Link7

As the smart man Kim Dongyoung once said, the company and the idols can do their utmost best, but it's the fans who make idols famous, the success depends on them.

Sadly, Korea is all about trends and fancies. And let's be honest, not only Korea. There are 300+ idol companies and influencers/celebrities/yt vloggers at every corner. It is well accepted that even in classical music/jazz only a good-looking musician can become famous with the general public.

The idols don't earn with music (the streaming era reality), they earn with service/image. A plush charm with some scribble by an idol or a signature shaped into a ring don't sing. Even Cesaria Evora had an image to sell her music.

And was it ever different? Kabuki actors earned with selling posters as well. Ballet is about pretty girls, men were castrated to preserve young looks and high voices, cabaret, etc.

Lol, Doyoung is so successful, fans can't imagine him being angry. "He tries to be fierce but he still looks cute", meanwhile Doyoung ignored Ten's solo when even Taeil congratulated him.

#submission #food all around chips all around #glee club conductor

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literaryeagle · 4 years

Text

For my sixty-seventh Evangelion book review, here is Shin Seiki Evangelion Koushiki Guide Book (Neon Genesis Evangelion Official Guide Book), published by Kadokawa Shoten. This 171-page paperback is a guide to Yoshiyuki Sadamoto's Evangelion manga, however it was released before the manga was finished, so it only covers the first 12 volumes (the whole manga was 14 volumes).

This book is not available in English or French - although the chapter titles are in English - but it has plenty of pictures. The illustrations are in full color for the first twelve pages, and then the rest of the book is in black-and-white. (The book's dust jacket is also removable, however there is no alternate cover art hidden underneath.) The full color pages are devoted to the cover art for the first 12 volumes of the manga. For example, here is the cover for Volume 6, which features Toji, Hikari, and Evangelion Unit-03:

It's interesting how some of the characters' hair color in the manga is different from how they look in the anime. And as many of you probably already know, Shinji's eyes are a different color as well.

By the way, this is going to be another multiship-friendly review, so expect a mix of ReiShin, KawoShin, and AsuShin. Keep reading for the rest of the book review, plus a few more pictures!

After the Cover Illustration Gallery, there is a title page and a Table of Contents page, and then the first chapter of the book which is called "the Character". This section contains pics and information about various characters, including dates of birth and blood types, and discussions about the characters' personalities. Shinji, Rei, Asuka, Kaworu, and Misato each get 4 pages devoted to them, while the other characters only get one or two pages. The other characters in this chapter are Toji, Kensuke, Hikari, Gendo, Ritsuko, Kaji, Fuyutsuki, Maya and Makoto and Shigeru (these three characters are squeezed together into two pages), Yui, Naoko, and Keel. This part of the book also contains three brief columns about other topics: Evangelions and Angels, Nerv, and Seele.

By the way, even though this chapter has lots of pictures, they're all from the manga, so you won't see anything new here if you've already read the manga. Also, many of the pages have multiple images all crammed together, so the pics end up being very tiny. Most of the book is like this, unfortunately.

The second chapter of this book is called "the Episode", and it contains illustrated timelines for events in the manga (again, only for the first 12 volumes), plus information on battles, characters' relationships, and some background stuff about Nerv and Seele. The section on relationships isn't just about romance; it also covers family (for example, Asuka and her mother) and friendships (such as Shinji and his classmates). Anyway, I said this would be a multiship-friendly review, so I'll get to that now. Let's start with Rei and Shinji. This chapter devotes three pages to Rei's relationship with Shinji (two of those pages are for Rei II, while the third page is about the introduction of Rei III). Here is a piece from one of those pages:

Awww, Rei and Shinji holding hands! So sweet! (By the way, the above scan is larger than actual size, so you can see it better. As I mentioned before, a lot of the pictures in this book are really small.)

Moving on, this chapter has two pages about Kaworu's relationship with Shinji. Here's a piece from one of those pages (yes, the kiss is here):

Such an iconic moment. ^_^

As for Asuka and Shinji, um... This chapter only devotes half a page to their relationship. Yeah, not even one full page (the other half of the page is for Asuka and Kaji). What the heck? None of the illustrations for the Asuka and Shinji portion are romantic, either: There's a picture of Shinji, Toji, and Kensuke freaking out; a pic of Asuka kicking somebody; and a picture of Misato standing next to Asuka. That's it. Fortunately, there are some images later in the book that I think AsuShin fans will like, so don't worry, I'll get to those next!

The third chapter of the book is "All of Yoshiyuki Sadamoto". It starts with a Q&A section, and then there's a gallery of the title page illustrations from various chapters of the manga. Like many other parts of the book, this gallery crams multiple images onto each page, so most of the pics are tiny. But at any rate, here are some cute ones that AsuShin fans can enjoy:

Adorable pics, aren't they? The one of Shinji and Asuka dancing together is so precious!

The next part of this chapter has some pictures and info about other manga that Sadamoto has worked on, plus his art books, and other things for which he has done illustrations or character designs such as album covers, video games, and anime. There is also a timeline of his career, and some extra comments from him.

Okay, next we have the fourth chapter of the book, which is called "Message from EVA Friends". It starts with a conversation between Hiroya Oku (creator of the manga Gantz) and Yoshiyuki Sadamoto. After that, there are short messages from some of the Evangelion anime staff: Hideaki Anno (creator), Ikuto Yamashita (mecha designer), Yoshito Asari (assistant character designer), Yuko Miyamura (voice of Asuka), and Megumi Hayashibara (voice of Rei).

The next part of the chapter has illustrated messages from various writers/artists. Finally, some pictures that aren't already in the graphic novels! Check out this message from Kazuya Tsurumaki (assistant director for the Evangelion TV series, director for the first half of The End of Evangelion, and one of the directors for the New Theatrical Edition - AKA "Rebuild" - movies):

What a cute drawing of Asuka!

All right, I'll show one more illustrated message from this section. This is from Jinsei Kataoka and Kazuma Kondou (the writer and the artist for the manga Deadman Wonderland):

Wow, Rei and Evangelion Unit-01 look pretty cool in that art style!

The book's fifth chapter is "Comic EVA History", and it shows Evangelion-related covers for various issues of Monthly Shounen Ace magazine and Young Ace magazine (the chapters of Sadamoto's Evangelion manga were originally published in Monthly Shounen Ace, and then starting in the summer of 2009 the remaining chapters were published in Young Ace). This part of the book also has pictures of some Evangelion-related bonus goodies that could be obtained with those magazines, such as posters, cards, and stickers.

And finally, the sixth chapter of the book is called "Extra Part", which includes notes for some of the terminology used in the manga, such as "LCL" and "entry plug". Then the book ends with a short psychology test to see which of the Children you are most in sync with.

Overall, I don't really recommend Shin Seiki Evangelion Koushiki Guide Book. It's supposed to be a guide to Sadamoto's Evangelion manga, but it was released before the last two volumes of the manga came out, so the information is not complete. Also, most of the illustrations are smaller versions of images that you can already see by simply reading the manga, so it isn't even all that great as an art book. It just feels like a cash grab. There are much better Evangelion books out there, so I would say don't bother with this one unless you're a serious collector who wants to obtain as many Evangelion-related publications as possible. Anyway, that's just my opinion. Your mileage may vary.

Well, that’s it for my sixty-seventh Evangelion book review. I have plenty more Evangelion books to discuss, so keep checking my blog for new reviews!

#Evangelion #KawoShin #ReiShin #AsuShin #Kaworu Nagisa #Rei Ayanami #Asuka Langley Soryu #Shinji Ikari #Toji Suzuhara #Hikari Horaki #Evangelion Unit 01 #Evangelion Unit 03 #book review

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prorevenge · 4 years

Text

Falsely Accused of Cheating, Then Dumped

Date: April 2, 2009, a couple days after I turned 30.

I had been dating a wonderful girl, we’ll call her Ratchet, for almost 3 years. And we were good together, I really did see her as my soul mate. We weren't living together yet, but I was just a few weeks away from popping the question. However, as plans will be plans will go awry.

Enter my friend (we’ll call him Skidmark), who I'd known since freshman year at a well known university, he was also a fraternity brother and someone I'd be proud to call a real brother. This is the guy I would've asked to be my best man, and not as it's often portrayed in cheesy romantic comedies or whatever. That is, until his act of betrayal when he told Ratchet (A LIE) that I cheated on her. Also, he had no evidence of said infidelity.

How did this play out? Ratchet had been staying at my place for the past couple days and I arrived home to find her packing her things. When she saw me, she started shouting at me. A lot of it was hard to make out, other than the profanity but here's what I did remember:

"How could you do this to us"

"I can't believe you"

"Skidmark told me everything"

I attempted to interject a few times, almost in tears in one point when I shouted, "Just listen to me for a second!" but she just got all pissy that I yelled at her, and walked out after telling me to get fucked.

So obviously I called Skidmark a few times, left a voicemail asking WTF he told her and wanting to know why he dragged me through the mud like that. The next morning I went over to his apartment - to find that he moved a couple days ago. How convenient.

The next day, I get a call from another good friend of mine (he was a solid guy, so let’s call him Solid - we met at the same university/fraternity) and it went something like this:

"Um, are you sitting down"

"No, what do you want to tell me"

"When did you break up with Ratchet?"

"I didn't, Skidmark told her that I cheated on her and she walked out on me"

"I just drove past that dive in your old neighborhood, she's with him. They were all smiles, holding hands and everything - I was wondering what was ..."

(I disconnected)

So it doesn’t take the guys from True Detective to figure out that he orchestrated this from beginning to end, and his prize was a new girlfriend – now my ex.

At the time, it felt like this backstabbing bastard destroyed my life.

Fast forward to six weeks later ….

On a Friday night Solid went to a popular bar/club in the area to hang out and throw down a few brews. And who do you think walks in about 15 minutes later.

Why, it was Skidmark!

It was a pretty large bar, and Solid apparently did a pretty good job of not being seen, even though he did see a few things:

Skidmark went in alone, but he's talking to some girl maybe 5 minutes later. A few minutes later, he buys her a drink. A few minutes after that, they're on the dance floor.

A few minutes after that .... let's say Skidmark could have gotten arrested if he didn't have consent to put his hands where they were.

Keep in mind, Solid has already sent me several texts about what's been going on. At one point he included several photos of the handsy dancers. In the last photo Skidmark was kissing the girl.

And now he must be melting his phone with how fast the texts are coming in.

"You gotta nail this guy, Ratchet needs to know what's going on!"

"Shit he almost saw me!"

"I had to skip out of there, but I've done enough damage heh heh"

"He was kissing her in that last one, wanna bet he'll go all the way?"

This is where the plan comes together. I tell him to get in touch with Ratchet, and ask her to meet him (about something urgent) at a coffee shop close to where he lives. Note: his place was over 30 min away from where I lived, so hopefully Ratchet wouldn't be suspicious. I recommended a coffee shop because it's a public place with outdoor seating.

Sunday morning, May 17:

I remember everything about this encounter – what I was wearing, what she was wearing, what it smelled like, it’s permanently etched in my memory. I approached a couple minutes after they sat down. Once Ratchet saw me, her face physically changed, and she immediately got up to leave. Solid reached out and grabbed her arm before saying "You owe me, remember? Sit down and listen!"

She reluctantly sits down, and with a very pissy look on her face she asks, "What do YOU want, Parkesc?" ***

I respond, "What he said, sit down and listen" and I ask to borrow his phone so I can call up Skidmark. I hand him mind and tell him to pull up the photos when I give him the signal.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Skidmark answers with "Sup Solid"

I respond, with the speakerphone on, "Well hey buddy!"

There’s a brief pause followed by “uuuh”

“No it’s Parkesc. I hope you don’t mind; I’m using Solid’s phone since mine’s dead.”

(Keep in mind, Skidmark’s voice in the rest of this conversation is pretty sheepish)

“Long time no see man, what’s been going on?”

“A whole lot’s been going on, actually. How was Friday night?”

“How was Friday night?”

“Yeah”

“Why would you ask man … I mean I … I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah I think we both know why you haven’t seen me in a while, but anyway, Solid told me he saw you at the bar the other night, getting down with some hottie.”

“Who said that”

“Solid, you know, our fraternity brother from (that university). And, ummmm, he saw you. With that girl. And he may or may not have taken some pictures.”

“What?”

By the way, Ratchet’s eyes are getting pretty big right now, Solid is motioning her to be quiet. She mouthed the words WHAT THE FUCK as he began to open my phone and go to the pics.

“Yeah I got a LOT of pictures. And you know, I think I can guess who would like to see them.”

“Cmon man, don’t do this man. Why you doin this, man? Why you doin this?”

“What are you kidding me? We haven’t spoken in over a month because you lied to my girlfriend that I was in love with and planning to marry. Now you’re messing around behind HER back.”

“Man it isn’t like I was trying to steal her, man.”

“WELL MAYBE YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO DO, because Solid also mentioned he saw you two together. That was TWO DAYS after she walked out on me.”

“It’s not like that man, and you’re not gonna anything. I know you’re mad, but, cmon man.”

There was a brief pause, and my brain almost did a Ctrl-Alt-Delete after that auditory fuckpoop.

“No, you don’t know. And I’m not gonna CMON MAN.”

“Are you kidding me, you’re really gonna …”

“I’m doing this – right now, in fact. You’ve been on speaker the whole time, and Solid isn’t the only person here with me.”

“WHAT?”

And finally Ratchet chimed in.

“I cannot even believe you did this. What the hell? You’ve totally ….totally been lying to me and now you're cheating on me too?"

“No, no, no it wasn’t ….. FUCK! Really, Parkesc?”

“Basically, they’ve shown me all the pictures, I’ve been looking at them this whole time. What’s wrong with you, Skidmark??”

“I didn’t even know her.”

“What you mean, you didn’t know her??”

“Ok, you know what, fuck you Parkesc!”

And then Solid says his piece:

"WHOA WHOA WHOA, first of all, dude, you stole your best friend's girl with a BS lie, you just admitted it, and you're cheating on her anyhow!"

"Fine, whatever, it didn’t mean anything ….”

Ratchet responds with "Oh Please!” before she hangs up on him and turns toward me. She hands the phone back to Solid and he gives me back my phone with half a smile and a raised eyebrow. He probably expected a gratifying end to this escapade.

“Parkesc I am really sorry, I made a mistake. Is there any way ...."

“Stop right there!” I abruptly interject, with a sharp glare in my eye.

They’re both in shock.

“No, you never believed me, didn’t listen to one word I had to say. And you had no evidence, you just took that fuckhead’s word and walked out on me. Was it worth it?”

Solid was pretty much catatonic, stunned into silence. By the time I was halfway back to my car, I could have sworn I heard Ratchet starting to cry. I wouldn’t know because I refused to look back.

*** By the way, you’re probably wondering what the asterisks were for. Up until that point, there was still a snowflake’s chance in hell that Ratchet and I would get back together. When she didn’t even want to hear me out (yet again), I was done. I just didn’t let her know until I was finished with Skidmark.

I never heard from either of them again. Good riddance.

(source) story by (/u/parkesc)

#prorevenge #by /u/parkesc #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

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book-o-scams · 3 years

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I know this is way out of season, how many times were you an EEnE character for Halloween? Did anybody recognize who you were dressed as? My brother was Double D in 2000 and when we went trick or treating at the mall, a lady (employee of the mall) was like “hey you’re one of those Ed boys. I love that show!”

I’m really sorry, I literally saved this like a year, was going to answer it on Halloween, then fell asleep forgetting to finish the answer, then eventually losing what I wrote. Sooo... New Year’s can be Halloween too, because I said so!

1. I dressed as Edd for the last Halloween where I trick-or-treated as a kid, 12-years-old/2003. I think the friend I was with knew who I was but definitely not the adults whose doors we knocked on, lol.

2. The next year I think I may have been animating more so I did a really lazy Ed costume just to hand out candy, age 13/2004. Nobody got that one and in retrospect I wondered why I did it. Don’t remember how I did the unibrow, but I remember the only red-and-white-striped shirt I could scrounge up was one of my mom’s old maternity shirts, so I was greeting the door in something I technically wore as a fetus.

3. I was really into animating in my high school years, so I didn’t trick-or-treat again until a party with my friends in senior year, age 17/2008. I completed my trio and wore an Eddy costume where I made his shirt by terribly using tie-dyeing logic on one of my old Catholic school uniform shirts, lmao. I think I brought an empty pickle jar instead of a candy basket... then realizing at the party that a pickle jar is much smaller than anything anyone else had for a basket, so I was loaned a pillow, haha. And to make sure I didn’t have to explain this costume to everyone I met, I also brought a tiny Eddy figurine keychain from one of those small vending machines (which was a gift, I’ve never been lucky enough to see a vending machine with Eds in it myself).

4. The next year, age 18/2009, the movie was the only thing on my mind-- I had watched the leak a million times and then it was finally going to premiere 8 days after Halloween, so I decided to be Bro and just tell every stranger who didn’t know Eds that I was being “a scary carnie.” That costume was to trick-or-treat with another party with a brand new group of friends, who I’ve stayed in touch with. I’ve posted a blurry pic of that before where my head’s sideways, trying to be creepy like Bro.

age 19 I made up a costume out of junk, age 20 I skipped cuz it was on a Monday so my friends were busy, age 21 I was Milhouse...

5. This is where it gets dicey... I think next I was Eddy when I was 22 in 2013 (with my [spouse, but not yet at that time] Erica as Edd), where I wore the exclusive Eddy-costume polo shirt that AKA gave its staff as a gift one year, which Raven had sent me the previous year for my birthday! This was for a party with new-neighbors/former-coworkers, very adulty, no trick-or-treating.

6. I can’t remember what was going on next... age 23/2014 I may have been Eddy again for pretty much the same party again, which is why I don’t remember that year very distinctly. Or Erica and I may have switched, maybe I was Edd that time...

age 24/2015 was a cursed Halloween where I shattered my foot randomly in the morning and had to not be part of a Halloween buffet event that Erica and I had free tickets to at some fancy place around the Disneyworld resorts.

I can’t remember what I did Halloweens 2016 or 2017... I think one of them was at Disneyworld, I think both involved trick-or-treating with my niece Mimi, but I might have been Edd that time, and if so, then I think I was Eddy for #6...

7. And I want to say the last time I was an Ed for Halloween was age 27/2018, where Erica was having her first Halloween working the same dayjob as me in several years. I know for sure this time I was Edd and Erica was Eddy. I think I remember feeling like it was lazy that I was being him again, so that’s why I suspect I may have been Edd for #6... At one point, I had to explain who I was to my managers and the only example I had on my desk was the big-headed off-model posable Edd toy, and I remember they joked that I was just in my weekend clothes since Edd’s outfit does just look like casual clothing. After work, we trick-or-treated with our niece Mimi again.

SO in total, I’ve definitely been an EEnE character 7 times, possibly 8. I’ve been Edd and Eddy like 2-3 times each, Ed once and Bro once.

I’ve deeply considered a Kevin costume, mainly for the fun confusion it would cause with my name. The outfit would be so easy but it’s too hard to sell me on wearing shorts on a cold Halloween night.

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prettyoddfever · 4 years

Video

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how Jon Walker knew Pete Wentz & Tom Conrad in high school and got involved with Panic! at the Disco:

someone asked how Jon knew Pete before Panic! at the Disco and I feel like any question of how someone's associated with Pete Wentz quickly turns into a tangled web involving half of the mid-2000s scene lol. but here’s a general idea of where Jon Walker fits in.

I guess the fastest place to start is probably when 15-year-old Tom Conrad met Nick Scimeca on a message board in 1999 and then joined the band 504Plan that Nick had started with Mikey Russell (I’m really summarizing here btw. and ok their site said “504plan,” some fans wrote “5o4plan,” and their CD I have says “504 Plan” so idk take your pick). Anyways, their band started playing legit shows in 2001 and then released their CD in January 2002. here’s Nick & Tom:

504 Plan was kind of ridiculously awesome and their early site had the “We don’t take hits, we only write them” line at the top. Adam Anderson was the bass player at this point and they were doing cool stuff like Warped Tour.

The band was from Chicago and Fall Out Boy originally opened for them (Pete usually said he met Nick & Tom during a snowball fight in Chicago). It sounded like the bands kept doing occasional stuff together until 504 Plan broke up.

Patrick sang on the song “Breathing Deep” on 504 Plan’s EP in early 2003 and there were lots of pics of them wearing each other’s merch:

speaking of merch... so Nick was the drummer in 504 Plan and did a lot of graphic design stuff around the Chicago music scene (especially for Pete), continued to do work with Clandestine after 504 Plan broke up, did Friends or Enemies, and I don’t know how to sum up all the design & marketing he did with We Can’t Stop Thinking, but basically this is all coming back to how the FBR guys were woven in and out of each other’s lives (ex: Nick was really good friends with William Beckett, he and his friend Travie McCoy became Tequila Mockingbird, and Nick played a part in getting Gym Class Heroes signed by Pete). ok I feel like I’m about to get off-topic in 10 different ways… main point = everyone’s connected. back to JON WALKER:

Nick Scimeca shared a different version of this picture on his blog in 2009 but I didn’t save it, so thank you Jon for posting this one on instagram. super exciting:

That show is from November 2002 about six weeks after Jon turned 17. One of his high school bands was Farewell Night (here’s some live footage). This isn’t a complete summary of Jon’s early bands btw. I’m just focusing on the main points at which his stuff intersected with this main scene... or at least the aspects I’m aware of. So Farewell Night played many shows with 504 Plan and some with Fall Out Boy. (fun side note: Jon ran the journal updates on Farewell Night’s site with the same tone & varying names that he used 4 years later with P!ATD). Farewell Night broke up when AJ LaTrace left to join The Academy Is...

504 Plan’s bass player left around the same time, so Jon joined that band next and started touring the country when he was 17 (he was still in high school but it sounded like he took time off to tour?? I heard his dad used to be a guitarist and wanted to see his son succeed). Here’s Jon, Tom Conrad, & Nick Scimeca after a show:

The band broke up in spring 2004 when Jon was 18. ok I think I’ll just summarize some main points that came next...

key events starting in spring 2004:

17-year-old Ryan Ross meets Brendon Urie for the first time around the time 504 Plan breaks up.

504 Plan shares some unreleased demos on their site with the message "These songs were written between June - October 2003 and recorded in November 2003 by Jon Walker, in our basements. They do not have vocals because after the breakup not everyone was interested in having something complete to look back on later in life. Burn them to cd or in a fire, we do not care."

Jon works at Starbucks and attends Columbia College Chicago where he and his flip flops update his livejournal with lots of pics of the area near his school.

The Academy Is asks Tom Conrad (who was in 504 Plan with Jon) to replace AJ (who was in Farewell Night with Jon).

TAI invites Jon to start doing video & photography stuff for them... I’m not entirely sure at what point Jon starts (I think the first TAI TV video was uploaded in August 2005 and Jon was still working at Starbucks at the start of that month. He was def touring with TAI a few months later, though). For reference, P!ATD had just finished recording AFYCSO and then played their first show ever in mid-August 2005.

So Jon Walker is touring with TAI in January 2006 when Panic! at the Disco starts opening for them (which was 5 months after P!ATD played their first show... and after they’d finished 2 national tours, a string of headlining shows, the IWSNT video, their first big tv appearance, and the interview for their first Alt Press cover... they really came storming onto the scene). Jon fixes Ryan’s guitar pedal, sings the Aladdin soundtrack with Brendon, and they all become good friends (except Brent is MIA in most stories from the band & fans this season. His brother later claims that Brent doesn’t even know who Jon is lol). P!ATD opens for TAI for over 2 months. P!ATD tells Jon by early March that they’re thinking of replacing their bass player.

Brent Wilson fails to show up as P!ATD is heading to LA for the KROQ Weenie Roast on May 13, 2006 and it’s the last straw in his lack of investment. The band fires him & calls their friend Jon to ask him to leave Cassie’s prom (or some kind of dance – the story varied) and take a last-minute flight from Chicago to save their butts. Jon grabs a black outfit and learns the entire set list by ear on the plane. (He’d had some advance notice that he might be replacing Brent, so he had more than a few hours to learn the album that spring, but still... he did it by ear omg). He just listens to their album and then goes onstage in front of like 10,000 people without ever fully practicing with the band nbd (I think they practiced the transitions between songs, though, since those weren’t on the album). P!ATD realizes how lucky they are to find a committed bass player who sings, writes songs, is great in interviews, boosts the band’s morale, plays a range of instruments, and is really good with the fans.

Jon starts doing a lot of the band’s journal updates, Brendon changes his livejournal icon to “Team Jon” stuff and is like an excited little puppy about him, and by the end of summer most fans have embraced Jon as a new favorite (I’m massively summarizing here btw). My own opinion: the band finally felt complete or like they’d found their footing.

Jon is officially listed as the new bass player at the start of July during the summer 2006 tour.

maybe Pete & Jon’s Lollapalooza afterparty adventures are relevant since Nicholas Scimeca was there too (they’re buried in this tag).

Tom Conrad is kicked out of TAI in October 2006.

Tom announces that he’s tagging along on P!ATD’s Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour to take pictures and says “JWalk and I were actually separated at birth. Believe it.” He shows up in the background of pics from this time too. Tom continues to post a few random shoutouts to Jon over the next couple years.

Pete Wentz has Jon join FOB onstage during the Chicago stop of their 2007 Honda Civic Tour and tosses his bass to him.

Tom forms the band Empires and then many years later Jon opens for them on May 21, 2011 (and also did this shoutout for them). Idk much about stuff that happened after 2009, though, so I’ll stop here.

Jon told Sydney’s MX newspaper in 2008:

"I grew up in Chicago and I was in a band with [TAI’s] guitar player and they went on tour and I just stopped going to college. I didn't really know what I wanted to do, but I did know I didn't want to still be living at my parents' house. I toured with [The Academy Is...] for four months and met these guys and the rest is history."

This post kind of turned into how Tom Conrad & Jon Walker stayed friends through several bands... so there’s that too. I know I skipped tons but hopefully something in this random info dump gives a slightly better idea of how Jon’s connected! and I just typed this all in one go mostly off the top of my head and I’m really only decent with remembering P!ATD stuff, so if there’s something wrong please point it out & thanks :)

#jwalk #504 plan #extra

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