#i spent. too long debating that moon.

[bones-n-bookles]

Torch 🕯️🌙

#Torch #west siberian laika #laika #my art #западно сибирская лайка #cave art #pet portrait #i spent. too long debating that moon. #im a whole mess of emotions over that moon #my boy is guided by the fullmoons light and coming to me as it wanes to a newmoon #idk i have something that i desperately want to express and verbalize but just. lack the language to do so. #which is TERRIBLE for me because things will not leave my brain if i do not verbalize them #anyways

[holdinbacksecrets]

keep you warm — l.dh

relationships are scary, and donghyuck ran away from yours. 18+ suggestive

you can’t get yourself to fall asleep. the time that’s passed since his body laid beside yours—stayed through the night—has been so long. it was becoming harder to hold onto the memory, and you couldn’t write it down again. journal page after journal page held every detail you remembered, turning them over again in your mind until you felt a familiar warmth in your heart again. you feel so cold without him. it’s been too long since you created the warmth on your own.

there was no hope to be found in you this week. the days blended together: waking up before your alarm, dragging yourself through the hours at work, and pushing yourself through evening runs in an attempt to sweat out the feelings. it worked for those 40 minutes spent in a pair of hokas before finding yourself on your balcony again, hair wet, a cool breeze brushing your skin like a promise to never let you down.

the glass of wine is filled a second time, and you watch the maroon liquid slosh around the glass as your head falls to the side. you haven’t drank since your brother’s wedding. years have passed since that night, so much has changed.

your knees knock together, feet resting on the coffee table, and you pinch the moon between your fingers. you imagine its dust on your skin, wondering how long the particles would linger before disappearing, washing away.

you hope he doesn’t completely disappear. the truth of those words has become harder to admit to yourself as feelings deepen. a heart truly grows fonder through distance, but the shadowed insanity has sharp claws. it draws blood, makes you sick and unable to eat.

you reach for the glass and head inside. the liquid disappears down the drain along with what remains in the bottle. you search for tea. something herbal. craving the warmth between your hands. craving the feeling of it traveling down your throat. needing something softer coating your mouth. something that won’t unravel the sweet dreams you anticipate.

the knock comes while you’re leaning against the kitchen counter, gaze set on the time ticking down—neon numbers on the microwave. you don’t have to move to know it’s him. you wonder how impulsive this decision was. how long he sat in his car debating coming up, using the key that lets him in your building. did he feel guilty pulling it out? did he think about the time that’s passed since he last felt its curved metal between his fingers?

you reach the door and the microwave begins to beep. the lock is turned, and you swallow hard.

he’s standing outside your door, and the brown of his eyes looks softer than before. he’s wearing glasses and a hoodie you know to be incredibly soft. his hair is long, nearly curtaining his eyes, definitely hiding his brows.

your cheek meets the door, wondering if he’ll speak before you step back and let him in. he has to say something. he has to know this isn’t ok. that it fucking hurts.

his tongue wets his lips and he takes you in. his eyes roam your face for so long. they run over your features repeatedly before staying on the eyes he sees in his own dreams.

“should i have called first?”

he looks uncertain. it’s a foreign face to see him wear. the twisting of his ring is subconscious while he waits. it would be so easy to break, to reach for him.

“it’s ok.” your smile is tight lipped, half hidden by the hinged metal.

“i’m sorry for disappearing.”

with that, you step back and let him inside.

he slips out of his shoes and you lock the door, heading for the kitchen to retrieve your tea and fill a glass of water for him. this scene has been lived a hundred times but never so quiet.

“why did you?” you ask holding out the glass. his fingertips brush yours. warm. the mug of tea is a sad attempt at recreating the feeling.

he follows you to the living room, settling into the couch because he knows you’ll take the large, green chair. he’s only found you there more times than he can count. it’s like your resting place, your recharge zone—a place of tried and true comfort. his comfort holds uncertainty.

“the honest answer is fear and …discomfort.”

“did i make you uncomfortable?” your eyebrows raise before taking the first sip and tucking your legs beneath you.

“no! no. that’s not it at all. i just- we became so close, and the feelings… the realest feelings. i doubted myself and filled in all the blank spaces.”

“blank spaces?” you ask when a silence fills the room.

“i imagined all your wants from me… for us. i decided i couldn’t give them to you even though i never asked what they are. i think- i know some are clear, but not all the details…” he looks afraid. he looks so small, smaller than you’ve ever seen him. it freaks you out. you want to comfort him. you want to make it all better, but you have to listen first. you have to gather the answers. otherwise it’s not fair.

“if you had asked, do you think my answers would’ve made you disappear too?”

“i can’t know that for sure, and i’m sorry if that hurts to hear because… fuck i don’t want to hurt you. i make all my decisions with you in mind. i’ve never done that before.”

“i know, it’s scary. it’s really scary to feel yourself starting to intertwine with someone, bend to them, have unwavering consideration appear and stay.”

he smiles then. “you’ve always been so much better than me with words.”

you shake your head, drinking more of the tea. “i overthink. i dissect.” i’m stained by words unsaid. i keep words that were never meant for me, and yet i crave them. i crave to offer you the right ones. i envision perfection. my perfection. for you.

“do you dissect this? me?”

“of course i do.” the honesty has always been too easy with him, and it’s here despite the distance, despite the rocky uneasiness you’re walking through—addressing head on.

“i’m sorry it happened this way. that i did what i did knowing your history. i don’t want to let you down—be like the last disappointment.” he tried so many times to call you. he sat in the parking garage and worried you’d see him as if seeing each other wasn’t the whole point.

you finish your tea, swallowing the warmth and barely feeling it past the back of your throat.

“i want to say you don’t have to apologize. in the same breath, thank you for doing it. i want you here. that’s impossible to deny, but it’s fucking scary, donghyuck. i’m so fucking terrified of wanting you— the fact that i do is having a hard time settling in. it’s not easy to accept.” because you know what it looks like. you know the carefree person you become within it, and you don’t want to lose her again.

he knows what you mean. you’ve laid together, half-dressed, and filled your dark room with honesty. he asked you questions you’ve never heard before, never meant for you. your answers were important, and everything you said has been remembered: the fear is impossible for him to forget.

“we’re both afraid.” his gaze holds so much love you feel yourself start to cry, and he’s leaning forward immediately, reaching for you. “baby, come here.”

a sob breaks free when your bodies meet. when the touch you’ve been craving is finally known again as you melt into him.

“i don’t want to be afraid to love you.”

he doesn’t tense at your words. if anything, he feels lighter. donghyuck knows to be your solid ground is all he wants.

“doing it together sounds like the right way to start, hmm?” his lips meet your forehead, and you nod against his chest.

“you can never do that again, though. you have to tell me, and i’ll tell you too because neither one of us deserve the guessing game. it’s sour and heavy and i can’t lose the sleep. not because of that. i won’t do it again.” the last thing your words are is harsh. they’re coated in yearning. they’re relieving to share, and he feels the care you have for him stick to his skin. it’s insane to think he let himself believe he wouldn’t be safe with you, but those middle-of-the-night thoughts are never on our side.

“i won’t. i’ll annoy you with all the communication.”

“please, it’s an aphrodisiac.”

he laughs then. finally. you’re set alight, feeling euphoric as his chest vibrates against your cheek. “i’m so in love with you.”

your lips part. “say it again.”

“sweetheart, i’m so in love with you.”

you pull away from him, dropping your hand to his cheek, fingertips meeting moles. searching his eyes until your vision blurs with tears, caught beneath his thumb. “i love you. i’ve loved you since the night in the corner store.”

“that long?” his voice is so emotional, breaking at the end, and you finally realize it: he doesn’t think he deserves this.

“that long. i knew. it was impossible to miss.”

“to miss?”

“donghyuck, you’re so easy to love. i feel so lucky to love you.”

an exhale sinks his shoulders. you kiss the apple of his cheek, feeling the first tear on your lips just before you pull away, so you kiss his eyelid next and then the other. whispering, “i can’t wait to love you loudly. i can’t wait to show you what you deserve.” and he guides your mouth to his.

your lips come together with the most emotional charge you’ve ever felt. it’s almost overwhelming, but you can’t imagine pulling away. you adjust, straddling his lap, feeling the certainty on his lips. the promise. the prayer.

it deepens as your hands sink into his hair, twirling his brown locks around your fingers. he licks into your mouth, meeting your tongue in a romantic dance. there’s no fight for dominance. there’s no urgency. it’s patient. it’s your entire bodies connecting, chests meeting. it’s all these emotions, all this relief collecting in the space where your lips touch. it’s the understanding that you have so much time, and it’s so warm.

#haechan fic #haechan oneshot #haechan scenarios #haechan suggestive #haechan fluff #haechan angst #haechan imagines #haechan blurbs #haechan drabbles #haechan fanfic #nct imagines #nct fic #nct blurbs #nct scenarios #donghyuck x reader #donghyuck imagines #donghyuck blurbs #donghyuck fic

[zaephix]

carry me to tomorrow / / xavier , zayne , & rafayel . . .

loving him can feel like a multitude of things

a/n: having severe brainrot over these men, smb save me. rlly random but i got a 96 on my physics test everybody clap!! (can you tell who my favorite is)

loving XAVIER feels like waking up at dawn and watching the sun and moon up in the sky at the same time. with you looking at the view with heavy eyes as the shades of blue and black fade to warm tones of orange and yellow, exchanging greetings with the moon. you're reminded of the sun as you stare at his peaceful face, his grey-blonde hair messy, making his skin look even softer. with a content sigh, you crawl back into his embrace and he welcomes you with a hum.

loving XAVIER feels like staring at the clouds and getting carried away by your daydreams. even when the both of you are on missions, you can't seem to take your eyes off of him (whether it's for romantic reasons or skeptical reasons - your choice). just as the clouds hide the blue sky, it feels like he hides himself as well, choosing instead to appear as a dull blob. you've asked XAVIER about himself more times than you can count, and yet he still chooses to stay quiet. you've nothing but your imagination at this rate. however, both of you know that one day the clouds will fade, revealing the deep, rich, and true colors hidden away. time will tell.

finally, loving XAVIER feels like spring. like the fresh grass and the fresh rain, like the blooming flowers and the bright rays. spring is a new beginning, for the earth and people alike. with XAVIER, everything and nothing feels new. you feel like you've done this with him a thousand times before, and yet you're pleasantly surprised each time. as the song birds celebrate the arrival of spring, you and XAVIER lie in the grass. nothing is exchanged between the two of you - just your time. with each passing second, your eyes begin to close again. and just as your vision was fading, you heard soft snores and mumbles of your name.

loving ZAYNE feels like going home at dusk, wondering what he's up to. the day ends with orange and red hues up in the sky, the moon readying itself for nightfall. you know he has a tendency to get caught up in work too often than not. and you wonder if you're overstepping your boundaries once you're at the doorstep of his office. what you didn't know was that even through the long and boring days at the hospital, he debated with himself on whether or not to call you. loving ZAYNE feels like moments when the sun paints everything in orange, gold hues - short, but sweet moments worth remembering.

loving ZAYNE feels like trying to navigate through the fog. fog feels uncertain, the chill sending goosebumps down your arm. the mist feels as though it's coercing you to join it away from the safety of your car. and in times like these you're reminded of how ZAYNE's morning coffee fogs his reading glasses. the same way you chuckle before taking them off of him and wiping them. you don't notice, but the black haired man now looks at you fondly - the steam from his coffee now subsided.

finally, loving ZAYNE feels like the transition from autumn to winter. the days of colorful leaves and cool wind over with. the beginning of winter marks its arrival through the fragile and stiff trees, the wind blowing through them as though they miss the kisses they'd share with the leaves. the days are getting shorter and the nights are longer. although the beginning of winter signifies hibernation and hiding, you can't help but love it. nights with ZAYNE are spent in bed cuddled in blankets and pillows as you both read books together. you never really cared for the books but rather the man that is clinging to you in a fashion he would never reveal in public. you had no problem with it. you'd love him in private and in public, through the winter storm and the chilly mornings. and just as your vision was fading, you felt a sigh against your skin and hands tucking you in, getting you ready for your dreams.

loving RAFAYEL feels like midnight escapades, brought on by midnight phone calls. the night is pitch black, save for the few street lights on your way from your apartment to his studio and the glowing moon. it's a vulnerable hour, crickets chirping and the white noise of the few cars going down streets the only music of the night. but as soon as you're met with his cheeky smile, you seem to forget the eeriness. your dazed nods as he goes on to rant about his problem or his painting - whichever one it was. it was only when you yawned when he invited you to rest in his too-big-of-a-bed. you had no idea if that was his intention or not, but any intelligible thoughts were hushed as the lights dimmed and the mattress below you dipped from the added weight.

loving RAFAYEL feels like the dew that paints the grass in the late nights and early mornings. you observe from the cover of his patio as he sinks his feet into the grass, seemingly in deep thought about something. you supposed it was his creative process, however odd it may be. the sun is almost blinding as it rises again and tiny rainbows form as if to say hello. he was still rooted in place. you think he invites you over, however you were distracted. the moisture of the air reminds you of how with RAFAYEL moments are quiet, just like how the grass quietly embraces the oncoming dew - an old friend.

finally, loving RAFAYEL feels like summer. like the hot atmosphere and the ice-cream melting on your tongue and fingers. like the never ending sky and the vibrant butterflies flapping their wings. loving RAFAYEL feels like the vigor the waves have for the sand under the hot gaze of the sun. and yet, you can never get a second of peace with all of his exhibitions gaining popularity. loving RAFAYEL means that summer nights is all you can afford to yourselves, the rush of the day still struggling to fade away. sitting on the sand, the white noise of the waves crashing over the earth lull you in a trance. and just as your vision was fading you saw dusky purple hair and violet amber eyes come closer, the feeling of lips against your temple sending you off.

#༉‧₊˚. zaephix #. — rayya writes #can you tell i got lazy towards the end #love and deepspace x reader #xavier x reader #zayne x reader #rafayel x reader #lnds xavier #lnds zayne #lnds rafayel #lnds #lnds x reader #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace rafayel #love and deepspace #love & deepspace #love and deepspace fluff #xavier x you #zayne x you #rafayel x you #fluff #drabble #x reader #fem reader #f!reader #fanfic #gender neutral reader

[a-certain-romance]

Don’t be surprised when you get bent over

Characters/Ships: Ei, Miko, & Jean x fem!reader

Synopsis: You can’t avoid them forever <3

Warnings: Smut written by a minor, fingering (Miko), some somno (Ei), oral R receiving (Ei), overstimulation (Ei), teasing (Jean), face-sitting (Jean)

Ei wouldn’t call it an obsession. You’ve been slowly introducing her to Kamera mechanisms and she’s been hooked ever since. Her curiosity since her time spent with the traveler has been eye-opening, and as a surprise gift to Ei you went out and bought her one. She never really had much free time as it is, and now her hobby draws her to every small crevice of Inazuma. She finds herself accompanying her soldiers to various military camps or meetings with small villages, and not only do the experiences enhance her skills but it also becomes a way for Ei to re-familiarizes herself with Inazuma’s culture and landscape.

You support her, obviously, until it starts to keep her out of the bed. Despite her day time exploration the one thing you can always count on (unless she was on a long trip) was that she would meet you in bed and hold you until the both of you fell asleep. But now Ei is out in the middle of the night focusing on the stars, while you shiver in a bed that lacks Ei’s warmth.

Hatching a plan to get her attention was fairly simple; all it took was a lewd promise for her to come running. You spent the entire day out, not on the streets in the city but wandering around in the plains and cozying up to the wild foxes. You debated whether to not Ei would be home once the sun set, but then you remembered that tonight was supposed to be a full moon, and figured Ei would want to photograph that as well. You went to sleep early after finishing a meal prepped by the cooks and didn’t think of much else.

As you slept, you had the best dream about Ei. She tied you up to the bed posts and was eating you out as if she were starving for you. Her tongue felt so soft yet firm on your clit as she licked away at your cunt. And the best part was that it felt so real. Every swipe of her tongue left you feeling in so much bliss. But the sounds were getting echoey, and the spike of pleasure felt too good to be just a dream.

You opened your eyes to find that your arms were in fact restrained: wrists tied around in intricate little bows, just how long were you asleep? Your lower half remained free, but was extremely sore and sensitive. Ei’s arms hooked possessively around your legs, her head buried between them as the rest lay limp over her shoulders.

Your movement brings her back from her haze. Her lustful eyes, her cocky grin; fuck you can feel yourself dripping at just the sight of her.

“At last, you’re awake. You make the cutest expressions when you asleep, did you know that?” Those last few words were mumbled in your pussy, sending shockwaves of pleasure. Ei chuckles against you, “Though I suppose that is from my doing”

Her tongue moved around you, paying extra special attention to your sensitive clit. You whine and dig your heels into her back as you start to grind against her face. Your thrusts, almost automatically, start to speed up and soon Ei is licking up your mess.

Just as you’re catching your breath, Ei replaces her tongue with her fingers against your pussy lips. “I intend to keep you up til dawn,” Ei eyes bore into your own as she looks up at you from above your navel,

“A shogun doesn’t back down on her word”

Like Ei, Jean’s ignorance comes from a new hobby as well. You’ve noticed that Jean’s mental fatigue has been increasing for a while now. She’s been dealing with the stress in more physical ways: meditation, training, massages from you that sometimes lead to more. Yet she can’t shake off the feeling that wears her down at the days end.

You’re a library aide, training to become a librarian alongside Lisa. During one of your afternoon tea breaks she brings up the idea of reading. You dismiss it at first, Jean has always sighed that there was just not enough hours in the day for something like that, but after some consideration you took Lisa’s advice to heart. During one of her (forced) breaks you gifted Jean one of your favorites.

Suffice to say she was in and out of the Library nearly every other day. Jean feverishly flies through books every time she finishes another draining report. And every time she reaches the back cover you are always there to greet her when she comes in for a new one.

She’s been extremely invested in all these little worlds, but has slowly been less and less invested in your relationship. You’re extremely happy that Jean’s taking the time to nourish this new side of her, but sometimes she forgets to make the time for you too.

Jean can be rather clueless sometimes. It’s not as if you’ve tried to stop her, but she’s oblivious to the hints you drop. It’s been weeks since you’ve last been on a date, and the most interaction you get from her is when you see her at the library. Even when you’re back home, it’s like she’s a ghost, only ever feeling her presence when she’s nearby. And that’s if she has the energy to not collapse immediately she she hits the sheets.

The next time Jean comes in through those library doors you make sure to slip a note in the next book you give her.

Now you’re the one who’s occupied throughout the day. Even Lisa starts to question your spark of work ethic and Jean’s prolonged visits, but it’s the only time she can hope to catch you off guard since she’s so tired after a long days work. And there’s so many close calls, you would’ve let Jean take you against the tables had it not been for Lisa’s watchful eye.

Jean can’t take it anymore. She nearly lost it during this trip. Jean forced herself to sneak in before closing because one of her many library books, one that she nearly forgot about, was about to be due the next day, and she didn’t want to suffer Lisa’s wrath. But there was no Lisa in sight, just the two of you alone in the big, empty library.

Apologies spilled out of her mouth filled with promises to manage her time and attention better and begged, begged, for your forgiveness. You accept and become trapped as she bend you against one of the library tables.

Even though you were aching for her touch this was still your workplace, and the shame of cleaning up cum from the tables would embarrass you to no end, especially if Lisa happened to see. You walk home together and she spends that time teasing and discreetly touching you.

When you get home she pulls you flush against her chest and kisses your cheek sensually. Her hand hold the back of your neck gently as she twirls around a few baby hairs. Her mouth goes to your lips and you feel her tongue run along the bottom of your lip. The second you allow entrance she picks you up and carries you bridal style to set you down on the bed.

As she lays her weigh on top of you her knee presses right up against your heat. She pulls back to take a breath, and goes back in right after. It’s a slow make-out session, one that you weren’t expecting after how Jean’s been acting’s. You guide her hand to your panties but she stops short.

“In a rush, are we? Aren’t you forgetting we have all night?”

“We nearly did it at the library, I’m sure you’re as pent up as I am”

“Maybe so,” she says as she un-do’s the buttons of your shirt, “but it’s only fair after that stunt you pulled. I finally have you alone now, I want to make the most of it.”

She leans in to whisper in your ear, “If you cum before I say you can, there’ll be serious repercussions .”

She maneuvers you both so that you rest your pussy on her face. She lets you control the pace, control the rhythm and control how deep you want to go. But that statement was her only warning. And when your mind gets fuzzy from all the stimulation you forget about the rule, that one rule.

When you get back down to the mattress Jean is tsking.

“Looks like we really do have a long night ahead of us”

Yae Miko is such a tease

One second her hands are all over you as she whispers dirty things into your ear and the next, she’s laughing at your expression and walking away. She loves how you give into her so quickly. It made her wonder how you would fair if she were to cut off her affections all at once.

She’d cling to your arm in public and and act as if you were a stranger behind closed doors. Why? Her own curiosity of course. The psychology of humans will never not be of great entertainment for her. And, it’s been so long since she’s seen you so desperate.

You’ve had enough of her testing your resolve, so you decided to do the same. As Miko slept, you wrote a neat little message in an envelope and, in the morning, instructed a shrine maiden to deliver it to Miko. And once the plan was set in stone, you remain sure that bringing out Miko’s competitive side will make her end this whole…experiment.

You avoided that room like the plague. Despite her attempts to catch you off guard you know her well enough to predict her next move. Indoors it was like a game of chess, and outside a game of cat and mouse. This competition lasted for days. Both too stubborn to give in and both too filled with more tension than they can handle.

You came back home during the evening when you knew Miko was busy with shrine duties. You heard from an acquaintance that Miko was held up in her office with paperwork and would probably not finish until later.

Deciding to relax, you recline onto the bed for a break. You breathe in the sweet scent of Sakura blossoms from Miko’s pillow and realize how lonely the past few days have been. Sure, the competition and the tricks were sometimes fun but what you really missed was seeing the want in her eyes.

You pull off your shirt and unhook your bra, gasping at how the cool air brushes your nipples. You grope your breasts while thinking of the perfect, pink-haired Yokai who’s captured your heart. You imagine what it would feel like if she were here right now. Her touch is magnetic, you dream of it as you circle your finger around your nipple. The image of what Miko would do to you fills your mind and sends heat straight to your core. The hand that isn’t occupied with your boob grazes between your legs and you whine out “Miko”.

The door bursts open. “And so the mouse has been caught. You’ve surprised me, I did not think you would last for this long.“ She removes your hand and replaces it with you fingers.

“But I knew you had to come home eventually, and it seems the story I planted worked”. Her fingers begin to pump into you at a steady rhythm. “Turn around for me”

When you flip onto your stomach she slightly hovers over you, running her hands along your backside, admiring your beauty. “It’s been so long hasn’t it? Truth be told, I believe the wait makes it worth the while”. Her fingers return to your cunt and resume their thrusts, only much faster this time.

He fingers hit harder and deeper into you, sliding across all the right places. But before letting you finish she slows down her movements to an almost lazy pace. She simply laughs at your confusion, “You have all night to cum, why rush it?”

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin smut #yae miko #yae miko imagines #yae miko smut #yae miko x reader #yae miko x y/n #yae miko x you #yae smut #ei x reader #ei x you #ei x y/n #ei smut #raiden shogun x reader #raiden shogun smut #jean smut #jean x reader #jean gunhildr x reader #jean imagine #jean x you #jean x y/n #💋

[chanlixsbabygirl]

What Was I Made For? | Lee Felix

Pairing: f!reader x Lee Felix Word Count: 1.4k Warning(s): angst (with a happy ending)

It was about a 2 hours drive from the west side of Seoul out to the coast. It was 2 hours of silence. Of just you and your thoughts. Seoul was huge, but the past few weeks, it had been suffocating you. It felt like you were living inside someone else’s play, and someone had put it all on hold.

You used to love the city. Love your job. Love all the people. But it had lost its sparkle. The daily stress of working with top-tier celebrities. Dating one. Slowly, your job had started to fade into the background. You were his girlfriend. That was what your life was now. Lee Yongbok’s girlfriend.

When you had moved to Seoul, you had known what you wanted. You wanted to work in the music industry. You wanted to be part of K-Pop. Not that you wanted to be onstage. You never felt the urge to be a trainee or to debut. But you wanted to be part of it. That was how you ended up working for JYPE and getting put in charge of managing the day-to-day details of the Stray Kids members. That was when you fell. It was almost instantaneous. You laid eyes on Lee Yongbok and you knew your heart was in his delicate hands.

Your one-sided swooning turned out to be not so one-sided. You asked to be moved to another group, to avoid a conflict of interests, and then he was yours. Or you were his. That was the more accurate way of seeing it. You were Lee Yongbok’s girlfriend. That was what almost anyone called you, unless addressing you directly. It started to feel like that was all you ever were. All you could ever be.

That was how you found yourself in the car, driving to a beach you had been to once a long time ago. Many tears were shed in the car. It felt so overwhelming. Everything you had worked so hard for was a footnote in the book that was Lee Yongbok and his record breaking career. You loved him. You always would. But these feelings had started tainting every waking moment, and even some of the blissful nights of sleep.

You hadn’t told him that you were going. You had put an overnight bag in the car and you had left his beautiful sleeping form in bed. He would be plenty busy while you were gone. This wasn’t something to worry him with. Not right now. He would plant it deep in his heart, and he would spend every ounce of himself trying to fix something he hadn’t even done himself.

Sitting on the beach, watching the waves break along the coast, you realized you didn’t know how to feel. You didn’t blame him. He had never tried to overshadow you and your accomplishments. Had never tried to take you away from your work. You were sure he had noticed the ever darkening of your mood. He was perceptive. Always worried about everyone around him.

You almost didn’t realize your phone was ringing. It was him. He was calling. You debated not answering, but that would cause more problems.

“Hey-”

“Where are you? I woke up and you were gone and your car was gone and your weekend bag was gone too. Did I do something wrong? If I did-”

“Lix? You didn’t do anything wrong. You never do anything wrong. I just…I needed to get out of Seoul for a day.”

“I would have come with you. You know they would understand if I needed the day off.”

“Felix, I know you would have. I needed to be alone.”

“I know you took your bag, but will you be home tonight?”

“No.”

“Where are you?”

“Y/N, where are you?”

“The beach. The one you took me to the first weekend we went away together.”

“I’ll pack and-”

“Don’t. I…just…stay in Seoul. Go to practice. You have a tour coming and-”

“I don’t give a fuck about that right now.”

“Please.”

After several more minutes of back and forth, he finally agreed to stay there. He made you agree to drive back first thing in the morning. You spent the rest of the day there at the beach, even waiting until after the moon and stars washed over you before driving to the small hotel you’d booked for the night. It was simple. Unlike the hotels you’d stayed at over the years when working with idols or when Yongbok had taken you for getaways and trips.

It was late when you got a short text. “I don’t know how to sleep alone anymore.”

You didn’t acknowledge the single tear rolling down your cheek as you stared up into the darkness. You still didn’t know what you were going to do. What you were going to say. How you felt. You felt cold all night, missing the warmth of the body that usually slept draped over you. It was a long night. Restless and unrestful.

It was even earlier than you had agreed on with your boyfriend when you left. As much crying as you had done on the way out to the coast, you did even more on the way back to Seoul. You cried for what you had gained and what you had lost and the things you held on to that felt so far out of reach.

He was still home when you turned your key in the door and pushed it open softly. His eyes were red, and there were dark circles beneath his pretty eyes. He didn’t even let the door shut before he was wrapping around you, taking up all of your senses. The past day had felt like a personal hell to him.

“Don’t ever, ever, do that again.”

“Let me explain…I know it won’t make everything better, but it might help.”

You sat on the couch and confessed every bottled up feeling that had swirled within you. The confusion and guilt and anger that you were his shadow. That you knew that he never wanted you to be his shadow, but that you were, nonetheless. You told him how the city that had once been open and wondrous and full of opportunity had slowly started to feel like a pretty cage that you had walked yourself into. That you had locked the door and thrown away the key yourself.

He cried. You knew he would. He was so sensitive. It was something you honestly admired about him. That he could wear his heart so openly on his sleeve. Here you were with every feeling you had felt trapped inside until the pressure became too much, and it exploded in a glorious and catastrophic mess.

“Lix, I don’t want you to blame yourself.”

“How can I not be to blame for this? This is all because of me?”

“No, it isn’t. You haven’t ever seen yourself as better or more important than me. You’ve always been Felix, andI’ve been Y/N, and we’ve been equal.”

“But-”

“You can’t control what other people do and say. You can’t control the picture that is painted of you, no matter how hard you try.”

“It’s not fair.”

“I know…I know, Lix.”

“Are you going to leave me?”

“What? No…no, I don’t think I’ll ever leave you, unless you tell me to.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise. I love you. I’ll always love you.”

“I want…I want to make this better.”

“Lix-”

“I may not have done this, but I didn’t do anything to stop it. I let you be seen as just my partner. Not yourself and your accomplishments. And I want to do better.”

And he did. When you came up in interviews, he always made sure you were called by name, made sure to talk about the things you had done and the things you had coming up. Stay had accepted you, but they had never really known you. Now you were asked questions about yourself when you met Stay, not just about your boyfriend. People congratulated you on reaching goals and successes.

The smiles slowly returned. Your ray of sunshine still lit up the dark days, but he didn’t have to light them all on his own again. You felt happy again. You felt like you could breathe again. You felt like a person, instead of an appendage. You felt like you had when Seoul was still new, and you were in love, and it was you and Felix, and everything was okay.

#lee felix #lee yongbok #lee felix imagines #skz felix #skz x reader #lee felix x reader #lee yongbok x reader #stray kids felix #felix x reader #skz imagines #felix angst #skz angst

[redjayson]

oh boy, now that chapter 17 is posted I can talk about some of the extras that I want to write in full at some point! since that’s rather far off in the future (and probably a lot of work when second-hand alibis still has its own Incredible Amount of Work left), have some quick and dirty snippets/ideas of what they might look like.

first one is a "su xiyan lives" spin-off:

exactly what it says on the tin. shen yuan makes a deal with the system (which would have to be somewhat less strict in this scenario) or he gets his hands on a macguffin or something and manages to make it to the luo river in time to help su xiyan through luo binghe’s birth and save her life afterwards

that, then, leaves them both desperately injured with a (somewhat unhappy) baby in the middle of winter when huan hua is undoubtably searching for them and their only allies probably think shen yuan and su xiyan betrayed them

shen yuan has the bright idea to lead them down the river to the washerwoman who was luo binghe’s adopted mother in proud immortal demon way. she’s kind enough to take them in, softened immensely by the baby and by how injured and grief-stricken shen yuan and su xiyan are

shen yuan and su xiyan slap up every (subtle) barrier and disguise and warding talisman that they can possibly think of to help hide them from any huan hua searchers, before collapsing from the expenditure of energy. shen yuan possibly uses his altered-but-no-longer-untested body-stasis talisman on su xiyan, who is predictably Not Amused by the recklessness of shen yuan having used this on himself, but it gives them more time to handle the poison while also allowing su xiyan’s qi to replenish itself and hold off the effects of the poison trying to kill her while they find an actual cure for it (assuming shen yuan's macguffin/system deal wasn't enough)

they both heal. they help around the house as much as possible, and gift the washerwoman with as much money as she’ll take from them, which is far less than she deserves for all the kindness she’s showing them. eventually, they’re healed enough to begin moving again, and they judge that it’s likely too dangerous to stay this close to huan hua any longer. 

before they go, though, there’s the matter of tianlang-jun. they debate for days—is it too dangerous to try and check on him? do they think zhuzhi-lang was sealed as well? what happens if they’re captured by huan hua? what will happen to binghe? (yes, luo binghe ended up with the same name as canon. shen yuan only suggested the “binghe” portion of the name, but su xiyan came up with and ran with the “luo” portion of it, because it’s far too conspicuous for a child to be running around with her surname, isn’t it? shen yuan, twin brother of shen qingqiu, keeps his mouth shut.)

in the end, they decide that they’ll take their chances now, while there’s still enough chaos and confusion from the end of the battle + setting up how the guard on tianlang-jun is going to look long-term for them to get close. better yet, if they can find zhuzhi-lang, then they won’t even have to get all the way to bailu mountain. 

whatever happens, it ends up being a bit of a mess. zhuzhi-lang is not happy, but shen yuan has spent years being one of his favorite people, and both he and su xiyan are still moving pretty gingerly when they manage to find him. in the end, zhuzhi-lang believes what they tell him about the betrayals committed against them, too, and agrees to carry the news to tianlang-jun (and plead their case, should he prove unwilling to listen).

after that…su xiyan and shen yuan beat feet out of huan hua territory, taking binghe (and possibly the washerwoman!) with them to live a life as rogue cultivators. cue years of sneaking back into bailu forest to visit zhuzhi-lang and tianlang-jun and try to figure out the best way to help tianlang-jun escape. shen yuan helps zhuzhi-lang get ahold of some sun and moon dew mushrooms, but warns that unless they experiment wildly and are also exceedingly lucky, the mushroom body will fail pretty quickly with a demon inhabitant instead of a human one. 

I imagine that this au would either end up as a su xiyan/tianlang-jun/shen yuan throuple, or zhuzhi-lang might finally shoot his shot with shen yuan and actually get somewhere with it. I lean toward su xiyan/tianlang-jun/shen yuan, just because there’s only so many times you can pretend to be married with a child, spending literal years working toward a common goal and in close proximity and with shared fondness, before you fall into an actual relationship. tianlang-jun is on board with this when it’s explained to him—shen yuan is great! (the wife-beam strikes again, it just took a little bit longer with tianlang-jun because he was so focussed on su xiyan)

also it’s deeply funny to imagine shen yuan reuniting with shen jiu (+ yue qingyuan) and cang qiong mountain sect and boldly gesturing toward binghe and declaring, “this is my son.” yeah, this carbon copy of su xiyan, with eyes that are notably not hers or shen yuan’s? suuure. the other peak lords aren’t going to argue, though, because shen qingqiu looks way too willing to fight them (read: yell at them) about it, and that’s almost never worth it. plus, like, what do they care? 

shen qingqiu, notably, doesn’t believe that luo binghe is shen yuan’s biological son, but apparently he is shen yuan’s adopted son (son by marriage?), so it’s really all the same thing. he’s doing some math about the tianlang-jun situation (as is yue qingyuan) and not liking the answers that he’s come up with, but if shen yuan wants to keep the child, then let him. better to allow a half-demon on his mountain than to lose his brother again. 

shang qinghua is losing his shit in the background. you did what with my protagonist’s parents?! my cabbages plot!!!

#fic: second-hand alibis #my fic #shen twins au #shen twins extras #svsss

[jaegonsmoon]

Omega pregnant Aegon: *is married to Alpha Aemond and gives birth to a dark haired beautiful baby*

King Viserys: *is oblivious and just happy have more grandchildren*

Rhanyra: *freaking out over being an aunt and grandmother at the same time and also trying to spin this situation in way where this won’t end in war or death*

Aemond, Otto, Alicent and Baela: *absolutely furious and ready to draw blood*

Luke and Rhanea: *not looking and anyone and edging out of the room to avoid any fallout*

Daemon:* smirking and leaning against the doorway with popcorn*

Jace:*sweating bullets and debating on running to the free cities to keep his balls in tact*

Aegon: *ignoring everything and just holding /in love with his new Baby*

THIS IS GOLDEN!!!!!! I love it!

Aemond, who has fucked Aegon probably two to three times out of duty since they wedded. Aemond who has been fucking unbonded omega Lucerys since he presented as one not long after his and Aegon’s wedding. Aemond who, after his and his brother’s coupling, looks the other way and pretends he does not see when Aegon downs moon tea like a cup of the finest westerosi wine. Aemond who is in love with Lucerys and curses his and his own existence every day for the omega not presenting sooner so they could’ve been bonded against all odds instead. Aemond, who knows where Aegon’s heart lies since they were kids: *Fake offended gasp at the babes dark hair*

Lucerys, who forgot to take his moon tea last time and drank it a tad too late, way past the 24 hours cycle, physically sweating: *gulps*

Baela, Rhaena, and Helaena, who have always known what’s stirring inside the pot and have all come to a silent agreement because they’re all young and craving a love of their own, not one forced upon them: *trying to contain their smirks and compostures*

Jacaerys, who has loved Aegon since he learned the meaning of it. Who’s first kiss, first time, first everything he shared with his uncle. Jace who was denied Aegon’s hand when his mother, who knew all along, tried to arrange their marriage. Jace who couldn’t steal Aegon away because Alicent, suspicious of it all, wed him to Aemond privately, before anyone could make a move. Jacaerys whose chest was swelling with pride at the sight of what they made together. Their babe. It was his seed the one to blossom in his womb, it was him the one that put it there, and now were all gonna possibly be beheaded for it, but in truth there was only one person in the room who gave a fuck about it, and no one would listen to her. Jacaerys who couldn’t be more obvious right now if he could help it: Gevie.

Aegon, who had only eyes for Jacaerys his entire life, ever since he had been born, till the moment present where he knew, the moment he became pregnant. He felt it. Aegon who spent his entire pregnancy sneaking out on rides where he and Jace would meet halfway in a small island they had found as an escaped in their early youth. Where they would curl up in between their dragons and talk, kiss, touch and fuck and hold each other for hours. Ageon, whose babe was restless when their sire was away. Aegon who wished this would happen, that his baby would inherit their true sires features for the world to see. For his mother to see. The inevitable, how they were meant to be from the start and no faith and costume of the Mother or The Seven could come between the ways of Old Valyria, of the dragons. Aegon who was in love with what he and his nephew had created out of love and passion, couldn’t stop staring at the beautiful creature in his arms: I would burn the seven kingdoms for you.

And much like with Rhaenyra’s first three children, King Viserys would have the tongues and eyes of whoever dared to speak ill against his grandchild.

And when a couple of months later, unmated omega prince Lucerys gave birth to a beautiful silver haired baby, then what—

#They’re giving poor Alicent an aneurysm #I know Viserys is amused af #everybody knowzz #aemond x lucerys #lucemond #aemond targaryen #lucerys velaryon #aegon ii targaryen #lucerys targaryen #jaegon #jacaerys velaryon #jacegon #aegond

[severeblizzardlady]

For the life of me, I cannot let go of Your Roommate Error.

Warning: Error's a semi-creepy skeleboi in this one

He isn't sure why he came back.

He didn't have to.

Sure, bugging you had been fun while he recovered from...a fight he was totally winning and definitely did not flee from/get thrown out of.

Tying you up in his strings, eating your food, cutting your Internet when you least expected it, they all evoked such a...satisfying reaction. Your frustration was so funny. As if you could do anything against him besides grumble and pout.

As if you'd ever be strong enough to take him on.

Hilarious.

That was why he'd spent nights standing over you in bed. You were so deep asleep everytime, without fail. Oblivious to the danger at your bedside.

It would've been easy. Too easy. Getting rid of you. You were so simple. So soft. So human.

Except he didn't. Night after night, Error had slipped into your room to watch you sleep without fail, sneaking back to his room before you'd wake up.

The same way he was right now.

"Y-you're-re s-s-s-so du-umb." He says to himself, to the moon outside your window, to your sleeping form. "A fr-freaking m-m-maso-chi-chi-chist." That's the only reason he can think of as to why you'd been so excited to see him when he'd popped in to your reality unannounced earlier tonight.

How your face had lit up.

How you'd moved as though to hug him.

How expectant you'd been while you waited for his answer after you'd asked how long he'd be staying this time.

"W-why would I l-leave fr-free food and the best t-toy around?"

That's it. That's why he came back.

You're entertaining. Error's already broken you in. Leaving you behind now to your merry, boring life would be such a waste, especially when he can jet off to torment you whenever he needs to blow some steam.

You smile all dopey in your sleep then. Error debates dragging you out of bed and making you dangle from the ceiling.

...

...

...he figures he can always do that tomorrow night.

(It's a lie he'll tell himself every night).

#Your Roommate Error #error sans #error sans drabble #undertale #error sans x reader #fanfic things #i have too many ideas for this and other fanfic things #maybe i should go back to ao3 again.... #ill probably do more Your Roommate stuff with other skelebois down the road

[ieatsmallorphansnamedtom]

Harvey Proposal Headcanons

Wow I'm still here. Huh. Think of this as like, me being dead, but not dead. As in I haven't touched this blog in months, and it's started to decompose but then some necromancer came along and reanimated it. Idk. Anyways here are some headcanons to prove I'm still here.

^ Old author's note. This has been sitting in my drafts for too long and I need to get it out. Requests are still closed for now, but I'm trying to clean things up in here.

TW: food implied (restaurant)

Harvey was very nervous to propose. He had spent months planning it out. But no matter how well he prepared, it seemed there was nothing to calm his nerves.

He had decided to take you to a restaurant. It was your favourite place. You guys had been there a few times before, but not much recently as he didn't want to bore you of the place. He had put in a reservation for the best seat a few weeks beforehand. He had considered paying extra so there would be nobody near you two, but decided it would hopefully make you two more comfortable if he didn't do that. He also wanted to keep the surprise unknown until the moment came.

The majority of the evening was peaceful. Of course, this is Harvey's luck, so there were a few disputes from other tables, but you guys were just fine. The two of you talked about anything and everything together. Though, there were moments of awkward silence as Harvey debated if he should ask you yet.

Eventually, though, he decided to go for it. You two had just finished dinner, and were wrapping up to get ready for dessert. The waiter had walked over to the two of you, asking if you wanted to order anything else. Harvey politely shooed them away before looking to you.

"Y/N, I, um, I have something to ask you," he mumbled. You looked at him intrigued as he spoke. "We have been together for a while and I love it, I really do. You're my everything; my sun, my stars, my moon, and I was wondering if you would like to, um, be more official."

"Harvey, what are you saying?" you asked.

He gulped, "Y/N, would- would you marry me?"

You were... Shocked. I mean, you probably should have expected it with how nervous he was acting. And when you went to go to the bathroom you did see him fiddling nervously with something in his pocket. But it still managed to fly past you. How could this be?

The answer was obvious, though.

"Yes, Harvey, I would love to," you replied. Harvey let out a relieved sigh and leaned back in his chair, only to realise the gravity of the situation. Anxious, but excited, you two leaned in for a kiss.

The waiter walked back over, asking if you'd like to order dessert. The two of you said yes (resisting the urge to do a 'one of everything!'), and soon you were digging into your favourite treat foods without a care, looking up at each other ever so often and giggling.

-~-~-

Aboboubobobuip FINALLY. It's done! This has been causing me stress to say the least. It's not a request, but hopefully I'll get to those too. Thank you to everyone who stuck around (if anyone did)! As I said, requests are still closed, but I'm working on the ones already there!

#ieatsmallorphansnamedtom #sdv #stardew valley #sdv harvey #stardew valley harvey #sdv x reader #stardew valley x reader #sdv headcanons #stardew valley headcanons #sdv harvey x reader #stardew valley harvey x reader

[cinnabun-faerie]

hello!! i wanna say rq i love ur writing sm skfjjenfk

i was wondering if i could request like. the accidental kiss prompt w estinien, uris her, g'raha, and thancred? i love them a whole lost!! tysm 🦐🦐

A/N: Thank you very much! Sorry I'm getting to this super late! I hope you like this regardless!

Warning: Spoilers!

Estinien

You were waiting by Estinien's bedside for him to wake up. Alphinaud was Alphinaud had cried, but you assured him that Estinien would be fine. Though you had not known him long, you knew that he wouldn't let this be his end. So when he finally woke up, you were so full of joy that you grabbed his face in your hands and planted a kiss right on his lips. Honestly it would take both of you a few minutes to register what just happened.

"Well, If I would have known this was what I would get for waking up, I would have done so sooner."

"I'm so embarrassed!"

"Don't be. Once we are alone, we can talk about this more in depth."

G'raha Tia

You are excitedly telling G'raha something while rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet when someone, probably Thancred, bumps into you (It's debatable whether it was an accident or not by the smirk on his face). With your lost balance, you fall into G'raha. However, his lips seem to catch yours before he can wrap his arms around you.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"G'raha, it's okay. While it was an accident, I'm thankful. I've wanted to kiss you."

"You have? Then I will admit that I have wanted to kiss you too."

Thancred

You and Thancred were very much head over heels for one another. It wasn't a secret. You two were very aware of the other's feelings. However, nothing was ever done about it as there was never a right time. Something seemed to always get in the way. But that was life. While it was not years for you, it was for him. And seeing you for the first time in a long time, he felt relieved. You were okay. But as he and Minfilia had been tracking down suspicious persons, he was worried that you were going to get caught. So, he did the first thing he could come up with. He grabbed you and pulled you close to him. However he didn't mean for you to be so close that you're lips are touching his (though he is not complaining).

"You can't say hello like a normal person, can you Thancred?"

"Hello to you too, love."

Urianger

So it was obvious that you and Urianger had a crush on each other. Well, obvious to everyone except the two of you. No, instead you two just figured you were friends and there was nothing more to it. With the amount of time spent on the moon, even the Loporrits were even aware of the silly pining. And the had a plan to help you two out. They were going to have you two fall for each other; literally. And so they scrubbed the floors where they knew you and Urianger would be frequenting. Neither of you seemed to suspect anything either. When you stepped onto the floor, you were the first to slip. Luckily for Urianger's sturdy grip on your waist, you didn't fall. At least until he stepped forward. That was when you both went tumbling down. And with nothing to grab onto except each other, you were standing up long enough to wobble and fall on each other again. And he was soon exhausted. So when you started to get up again, he simply pulled you back down. But you landed on top of him, your foreheads smashing against the other's and your lips brushing. When you felt his body freeze up, you felt the need to apologize.

"I'm sor-"

"Please allow me to kiss you properly this time."

#ffxiv #ffxiv reactions #estinien x reader #g'raha tia x reader #urianger x reader #thancred x reader

[mknightgrant]

💥 and 😳 with the moon bois, please??

💥 + 😳 A fighting headcanon + a confessing headcanon Not sure if you wanted it together or separately, but here are some hcs of some sort of fight that ends in a confession! This is my first time writing HCs, so pardon any mistakes <3 this is kinda long, I think!

Steven: It’s been agreed upon that Saturdays are to be spent with one another in the absence of your phones. The little blocks of technology serve as distractions, preventing face-to-face interactions from occurring other than the occasional “Oh god, look at this!” before sharing something found online. By the time this Saturday comes around, you and Steven decide on having a movie night–but can’t seem to get on the same page in terms of which movie you’ll be watching. While you prefer to watch a Disney film because, for some reason, your heart yearns for it today, Steven insists on watching another documentary on Ancient Egypt. The conversation between you two escalates into a debate, with Steven winning, to say the least. Winning in a sense that you’re this close to agreeing and just watching the documentary, but you aren’t one to back down so easily. That’s the exact reason why your hands start moving towards his sides, right where he’s most ticklish. The back of his ears are pretty ticklish too, but those areas aren’t exactly accessible to you at the moment, so his sides will do.

Laughter resonates in the flat, a mix of both his and yours, while Steven’s hands desperately try to fight and tickle you right back. However, it barely works, having been too distracted by your fingers poking, prodding, and wiggling at his sides. By the time he starts panting and begging for you to quit it, you’ve already managed to wiggle your way on top of him.

“Do you yield?” You grin, sliding off his frame as you push your hair back in an attempt to fix it.

“God. You’re lucky I love you. If you were anyone else, literally anyone, I think I would’ve tried harder to get to you. Would’ve been mad at you too.”

That catches you by surprise. Sure, you’ve been friends with Steven for quite a while now, but the L word was never thrown around like that. You had both agreed that saying “I” before “love you” makes things a lot more personal than saying the two words alone.

“You what?”

Marc: It was a rare occasion that you could get Marc Spector out of the house, and it was an even rarer occasion that he would agree to come with you to a local carnival. So, the second he suggests that you two go there for your next date, you jump on board the idea immediately. The day is mainly filled with going on rides, taking photos in the photobooths scattered around the lot, and you even managed to make Marc break his diet for a couple carnival sweets. So, to say that the day is going pretty well is an understatement–that is, of course, until you both agree to play the carnival games available to you. The thing is, there’s always been a competitive side to both of you, so when Marc suggests going through the different games and fighting to see who would win more prizes by the end of the night, you have to agree.

It’s almost unbelievable how many games he wins, especially given that he even wins the ones he used to be terrible at. The bean bag toss, the ring toss, the cup game, knocking down the cans, hell, he even manages to win Steven another goldfish for the tank in addition to the two that they already had.

“What the hell, Marc? How and why did you suddenly get so good at carnival games? Been training or something?” You asked, shoving the little stuffed toys you both won into a bag you purchased from one of the stalls. Was it overpriced? Of course it was, but there was no way you were carrying home this many stuffed toys in your two arms while Marc carries the beloved goldfish in one hand and the remaining toys in the other.

“Well, I may have gotten a bit of help? Steven’s got a pretty good understanding of the science behind the games and calculating the physics or whatever it is that we need to win, sooo…”

You obviously gape at the confession, straightening up your back as your eyes lock on his, causing him to smile rather cheekily at you.

“But hey! Before you tell me off for cheating or whatever, look at all the toys we got! And the newest addition to our goldfish family at home! We saved a life, you know. Could name them after you.”

"Marc!"

Jake: It’s a confession that comes in the middle of an argument. You’ve always known that Jake was one to splurge when it comes to buying things for himself. He spoils himself silly, and doing so, spoils Marc and Steven as well. Sure, they had differences when it came to their preferences, but they did share a couple likes and interests. You never had a problem with it–they do deserve it after all. However, when his spending habit started extending to you, as much as you appreciated his gestures, there was something telling you that you just didn’t deserve it. You tried telling him that he didn’t need to get you all these things, but he insisted, stating that his best friend deserves everything in the world. You inferred that one of his love languages was through gifts, so you let the smaller ones slide.

The fight ensues on the day that he presents you with a nicely wrapped box, which holds a rather expensive bracelet.

It was the one he caught you staring at the other day when you were out window shopping. Honestly speaking, you didn’t think that any of them would remember it, given that it didn’t seem like Jake was paying attention, having been distracted by the other things on display.

It was a beautiful piece of jewelry, but you saw the price and it definitely was not worth buying, especially not as a gift for you.

“Jake, this is too much, yeah? I’m thankful for it, I really am, but didn’t I tell you to stop buying things for me?” You asked, running your index finger over the rim of the bracelet before bringing your attention to him.

“Too much? Why would that be too much?” Jake asked, his brows furrowed. “Do you not like it, mariposa? I just thought it was the one you wanted back at the store. I could take it back and replace it. No es gran cosa.”

“Jake.” You repeat his name a little more firmly than you did earlier, closing the box and transferring it into his hands. You choose to ignore his second question, “If you said this isn’t a big deal, I swear. It is a big deal! You can’t just… you can’t go off and spend that much money for me, Jake!”

The rise in the volume of your voice takes him by surprise, causing him to tilt his head. “You’re mad because I bought you a bracelet? Querida…”

You barely give him enough time to finish the sentence before you continue, “No. I’m not going to take any reasons from you, Jake Lockley. There isn’t any reason in the world for you to spend this much money on me, and for what? You should already know that I love you for you, not because of how much money you have or whatever. I don’t need gifts from you, Jake. I don’t need anything else, okay?”

“Wait, you love me?” He asked, his eyes glinting with a spark of hope–not that you would notice, really. You failed to notice the smile forming on his lips too.

“What?” Your eyes nearly bugged out, having only realized what you said when he repeated it.

“What do you mean ‘what’? You said you love me!”

"When did I-"

"Te amo también, mariposa."

"What?!"

"What?" He grinned.

#moon knight #moon knight writings #moon knight headcanons #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockley x reader #steven grant headcanons #marc spector headcanons #jake lockley headcanons #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #moonknight #moon knight series #gessi's take on emoji headcanons

[pepimeinrad]

OFMD Soundtrack Concert

I spent a huge part of my last week looking at the OFMD soundtrack in detail and love the music used in both seasons (OST, post 1920s-songs (Miles From Nowhere is my absolute favourite) and "classical" pieces (mainly for orchestra and/or piano)). It's been a bit of an obsession actually, and I can't stop imagining a big concert of all of my favourite "classical" (and baroque etc, I know) pieces... if only I had an orchestra and venue at my disposal... the 22 tracks (20 really) add up to about 100 minutes. The list of things I'd have them play under the cut:

A Pirate's Life (Mark Mothersbaugh) Yeah, alright, I won't have Joel Fry there to sing it and it isn't a classical piece. But I would want the concert to start like the show, with this. A bit of a gimmick, someone with a guitar just doing this small bit to get everyone in a pirate mood. The last thing all the way down will also be from the OST, more on that when I get to it.

2. Concerto for Recorder and Viola da Gamba in A Minor, TWV 52:A1: I. Grave (Georg Philip Telemann) This is the one piece that always gets me nostalgic for season 1. This is early Stede and his early crew, I always have his voice in my head while listening to this. One of THE OFMD pieces for me, also because it's reused in episodes 1x07 and 2x05.

3. Symphony No. 34 in C, K.338 - 2. Andante di molto (Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart) This one is used once in 1x02 and twice in 1x03 - I was debating if I should include it since it's so long and only a small part of it is actually heard in the show. I've added it because I really like it and do find it iconic in those scenes - Stede finding his brand! (and because I feel it fits with the flow of the concert)

4. Sonata No. 2 in A major Op. 2 No. 2, - III. Scherzo - Allegretto (Ludwig van Beethoven) On to episode 1x04 where we get to hear quite a bit of this one over Stede and Mary having to get married. Another very nice piece that always transports me straight into that episode. Overall the soundtrack mixes orchestra- and piano-pieces quite colourfully, which would be reflected in my concert too (would need a very able pianist for it!).

5. Sonata in E Major, Kk. 380 (Domenico Scarlatti) They've gotten rid of the Spanish! I love the whole lighthouse sequence a lot (Wee John makes me laugh every last time) and the crew's joy is transported very well in this piece. Another one where the quotient "bit played on the show/length of the piece" is not that big, but another one that I just really like and find fitting to include.

6. Concerto in A Major, BWV 1055: III. Allegro ma non tanto (Johann Sebastian Bach) Welcome on the fancy ship of not so fancy people... episode 1x05 is one of my very favourites and that whole environment of the french ship is very well represented in this piece I think. There are loads more pieces in the episode that I haven't been able to identify, but I think this one here is the most striking anyway.

7. Gnossienne No. 5 (Erik Satie) Yes, I'm putting this here. There are more than half a dozen other points in the show where this lovely tune is heard, but I want to place it at the 'you wear fine things well' part. To calm down after the fast paced party from before. To make everyone think of that moon that's way too big. And this is the spot where the piano-version of this is heard for the first time anyway.

8. Concerto for 2 Cellos in G Minor, RV 531: I. Allegro (Antonio Vivaldi) Bit of a jump from 1x05 to 1x09, but the episodes inbetween had little material for a concert like this (where there'd be no one to sing Mozart's "Voi, che sapete", that's also why Verdi's "Dies Irae" isn't there either). I love the crew and their various excuses - and find this to be a fun piece that needs to be there. One thing that I've read several times that irks me: I'm still searching for the piece that's playing in 1x03 where Stede almost dies and Blackbeard attacks the Spanish. People say it's this one here, but I've listened to it so often and am SO sure that that's not it. Don't know what is, though.

9. Arabesque, No. 1 in E Major (Claude Debussy) Mary living her best life! I love that we got to see that and love her and her fellow widows a lot. I'm not quite happy with having two Debussy's back to back, but like this piece and like thinking of Mary too much to leave it out.

10. Rêverie, L. 68 - Rêverie (Claude Debussy) I'm a sucker for 'oh shit, I love them!'-flashback-montages and the one set to this piece is a beauty! Another bit that I've watched so often that I see it all in my mind while listening to this. The part where the show jumps to Ed and his flashback to 'you wear fine things well' (like 2:04) always kills me.

11. The Four Seasons - Summer in G Minor, RV. 315: I. Allegro non molto – Allegro (Antonio Vivaldi) We say goodbye to season 1 with another Vivaldi, one that took ages for me to recognize in the show. I knew it was supposed to be there while Stede starts his Fuckery and Kraken!Ed abandons the crew, but for a very long time was sure that that wasn't really it (and a bit of doubt remains). Well, the slow parts are definitely in the show, just to my ear the fast parts sound different. Anyway, it also shows up in 2x06 and needs to be in my concert.

After this we'd have the intermission - and part two will be in a reblog because I've run out of links in this post.

#Youtube #ollie's log #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd soundtrack #ofmd music

[lightbarebunnies]

Hello hello! I saw that there was one more matchup slot open and was like “hey, don’t mind if I do!”

So… about me. I’m a 19y.o. transmasc person (he/they). I’m a Pisces (cusp Aries) sun, Aquarius moon, and Capricorn rising, my MBTI type is ENTP, and my enneagram type is 8w7. I stand at 160cm (5’3”). I have shoulder length naturally wavy (I straighten it) strawberry blonde hair that I highlight with platinum blonde. I also have hazel eyes, pale skin and freckles.

Generally I dress in a mix of business casual and gothic aesthetics, combining stuff like your typical button-up shirt/dress pants combo with combat boots and long jackets/trenchcoats. Also tying bows around the neckline of collared shirts in the place of a tie, or wearing a bejeweled tie. I’m also quite the fan of blazers haha. In terms of jewelry, I usually wear cuff earrings (my favorite being a silver snake that slithers up my ear), and finger armor style rings, or ones that are designed to bend with your finger. I also do wear makeup, but usually it’s only eyeliner, and then a bit of eyeshadow and some rhinestones near my eyes in a color that matches my outfit.

I’m a sophomore in university, majoring in music with a concentration in vocal performance. I’ve been taking private vocal lessons since I was in elementary school, and music has been my passion for as long as I can remember. I’m also an amateur composer (although my teacher does say I’m a mature writer for my age, which is something I’m definitely proud of, hehe.) I’ve also been an actor since I was small, so I spent a lot of my formative years on a stage, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Although, I will definitely say, growing up in the entertainment industry and around so many people I grew to idolize made me a bit of a perfectionist in regard to my own work. I hold myself and anything that I make to a very high standard, but that’s because I want to see it be what I know it can be. I’m also a bit of a busybody since I’m almost always performing, composing, or working on college work. I do love it, though! Every day I’m always improving my craft, and working closer to finally being the musician I know I can be.

Outside of my professional life, though, I’m much less uptight, especially regarding myself, although music is still my lifeblood. I was on my debate team in high school, too, though. In terms of non-music related hobbies, I enjoy roller skating (I go every week), drawing (markers are my main medium), writing (I’m working on a gothic horror duology, but I also roleplay, literate to advanced lit), playing games (I also play Magic: The Gathering biweekly), dancing, and visiting museums (art exhibits or historical houses, there’s some preserved mansions nearby the theater where I work and perform nearly every day, and they’re my happy place, I go on my birthday nearly every year). I also read tarot, and I have a collection of crystals that grows by the day haha.

Some favorite bands/artists from outside of Ensemble Square would have to be Laufey, Frank Sinatra, Kaya, The Mechanisms, Evanescence, Dreamcatcher and Ali Project.

My love language is primarily compliments and acts of service, especially as I’m growing more comfortable around a person, since it takes me a second to be comfortable with being vulnerable without the safety of the stage lights and a role to feel safe behind. I’m more comfortable with hugs once I know someone well and we’re both clearly comfy with the idea of it. (Also, late night texts, usually driven by creative ideas.)

Hopefully this isn’t too much 😭 I did get a bit carried away, I was like “what else can I say” haha. I’m really curious to see how this goes!

Hi, hi! Your result will be under the read more to maintain the surprise surprise, while my thought process will be displayed below – it is entirely skipable <3

Initial Thoughts: Ah, ENTP… the dream partner MBTI /j I think Pisces-Aries cusps are incredibly interesting given how drastically different the individual signs typically are, but you being an 8w7 matches your sun sign perfectly? I love that for you!

Basically, 8w7 desires freedom and a feeling of self-control, while also not stomping those around them into confirming to them. You would get along best with someone slower paced, to build friendship before you move on to partnership – a sense of trust needs to be built so you can feel secure.

Initial Selection: Rei, Shu, Eichi, and Tatsumi are the four I ended up picking to examine further.

Rei: Old man no.1… He’s definitely the type who needs time to get close to someone before opening up about his true self at all. Rei is an INFJ, which may seem like an opposite to ENTP, but in reality they gel well together because their differences are so complimentary. You’d be able to give Rei new perspectives, while also keeping him from getting to deep into his own head.

Shu: INTJs tend to get along exceptionally well with ENTPs, providing deep and meaningful discussions and generally understanding each other far more than other MBTI types do. As a 1w9, he can relate to being an advocate for others to maintain their individuality and freedom (… I mean, look at how he gets frustrated with Mika for not embracing his own unique sense of creativity) but he also might nag you for not having as much ‘tact’ as he does.

Eichi: Eichi is a Capricorn, which gives him that strong ‘get things done’ work ethic as well as a general sense of passion and tenacity. Pisces-Aries cusp is unique in that it’s basically a more determined version of Pisces. You’re both able to be honest, and Eichi won’t absolutely dominate your personality with his own – while you both have your individual passions, you can appreciate the other’s.

Tatsumi: The layers of Tatsumi Kazehaya are not meant to be pealed back by just anyone, which is why I think the two of you would make a pretty good match. Like Rei and Eichi, he’s an INFJ. The biggest difference between the others is that he’s a type 7, which is your wing. You’re both more cooperative, warm people who are generally pleasant… so forming that initial bond will be easy and eventually you’ll get to a mutual sense of trust and comfort.

With all of that in mind…

I'd match you with Shu!

It’s definitely a slow burn, but once that fire starts it’s going to be impossible to put out. Even if you do something to absolutely infuriate him, he’ll be adamant on letting you know rather than ignore you or brush it off.

Music will definitely be the place your bond begins. He loves your creativity, especially in the various mediums that you enjoy, and the passion you have for music as a whole will spark that initial attraction. When hit with an idea that he can’t quite get out properly, he’s going to want to talk it out with you. Your varying perspectives will be more than enough for him to trust you with having a part in his creative process.

Given your similar need for time to develop a full relationship, things would progress slowly but surely. Museum trips for inspiration slowly start turning into dates, he’ll start to reach for to your hand when in a more populated areas, you might catch him looking at you more than the art.

Once you’re properly together and have established your romantic relationship, Shu is going to want to do more for you. He’ll offer to do your make-up, make you accessories to match a certain outfit you particularly like, and… if you’d let him, he’d certainly want to make some sort of matching attire for the two of you to wear. He’s proud of you, of being yours, and he’d like others to know that much.

#.hyacinth answers #.hyacinth matchmakes #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #enstars #brokenbeing13

[fireliit]

LOGAN, THIRTY-ONE, CST; SHE/THEY. | if you’re hearing COMING HOME by BRIDGES playing, you have to know KAREEM SALAAM (HE/HIM; CIS MAN) is near by! the THIRTY-SEVEN year old MUSEUM CURATOR has been in denver for, like, SIX MONTHS. they’re known to be quite FICKLE, but being FREE-THINKING seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble YAHYA ABDUL-MATEEN II. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those PERFECTIONISM THAT IS ALWAYS BEING FINE-TUNED AND REWORKED LIKE A MOLD OF CLAY, A GLASS OF CURATED WINE WHILE READING CLIVE BELL FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME, FRENCH PRESS COFFEE WITH A SPLASH OF CONDENSED MILK vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the CHERRY CREEK long enough!

Full profile under the cut! APPLICABLE TRIGGER WARNINGS: brief mentions of death by helicopter accident and natural causes

STATS Full Name: Kareem Arash Salaam Nickname(s): None Occupation: Museum curator at Denver Art Museum Age: Thirty-seven Date of Birth: July 22nd, 1986 Ethnicity/Race: Black, West Indian, African-Caribbean Gender & Pronouns: Cis man | he/him Orientation: Bisexual Height: 193 cm / 6’3” Tattoo(s): None Piercing(s): None Birthplace: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA Current Residence: Denver, Colorado Languages: English (fluent), French (fluent) Social Class: Upper middle class Notable Family Members: Jahmal Salaam (father, deceased), Abigail Salaam (mother), Hamaad Salaam (paternal grandfather, deceased) Traits: Honorable, creative, free-thinking, philosophical, inventive, fickle, snooty and petty MBTI: ISTP - The Virtuoso Eanneatype: Type 3 - The Achiever Moral Alignment: True Neutral Temperament: Phlegmatic Intelligence Type: Spatial, existential Astrology: Cancer sun, Aquarius moon, Capricorn ascending Habits: Glancing at watch, tapping his foot, rubbing chin, tunes boring people out, over-organized, snores when sleeping, turns almost everything into a project, raising eyebrows, often stands with hands behind his back Hobbies: Metalcrafting, wood-working, resin molding, anything art-related, visiting wineries, art journaling, visiting restaurants and giving scorching reviews on social media, reading Likes: Charcuterie boards, cured meats, philosophical debate, questioning existence and other people's poor choices, candles, pastries Dislikes: The fog, cake that's too sweet, flying on airplanes, people trying to give him nicknames, being cold, clutter BIOGRAPHY His father was a hero. That’s what others would tell Kareem when they recounted how his father died in a helicopter accident as an EMSA pilot during a vicious hurricane.  

But Kareem wasn't ever interested in chasing after his father's legacy, in flying that close to the sun, keeping his feet planted firmly on the ground from a young age. 

As the result of his father passing and his mother being away from home a lot working, he was raised primarily by a no-nonsense paternal grandfather starting from the age of seven. His grandfather instilled in him high values and expectations and, as a result, Kareem always has held himself to high standards and views the world with a critical gaze. 

Through his observations from his youth, Kareem adopted his own code of conduct. He doesn’t just hold himself to this code, but also the people around him, and as a result, he has alienated more people than not. This suits Kareem just fine as he preferred to have a smaller, curated circle of friends. 

Incredibly cutthroat and unafraid to sever ties, Kareem spent most of his time exploring the world through nature, philosophy, and art. Often found with a book in hand, in a lot of ways, George Dickie, Walter Kaufmann, and Ted Cohen were his most steady companions growing up. 

While he finds plenty of faults in people and the world around him, Kareem also has a fascination with the beauty of the imperfections that exist in every corner, leading him to follow a passion for the arts. Graduating from high school in his hometown of New Orleans, Kareem went on to get his bachelor’s in Museum Studies from New York Univeristy.

It is during this time that he meets Kassandra Yung, his first love. After a period of pining, the two of them began to date, only calling it quits upon graduation. Kassandra was going back to her home, and Kareem needed to move onto graduate school, and the two of them split after deciding not to try and make the relationship work long distance. For awhile, they still exchanged letters until contact dwindled.

Career-focused, Kareem went to John Hopkins University for his graduate studies, and after he had completed the program, he served his internship at the Dallas Museum of Art.  

Kareem spent the better part of the next decade hopping around the southern United States and leaving his footprint in various museums with his hand-picked exhibits. During this time, it wasn’t only art pieces that he left behind, but also broken hearts. Never settling down for long. 

Kareem dabbles in creating art pieces of his own every now and then, preferring woodworking and metal crafting to any other art styles, but he mostly loves to pick art pieces to hang not just in his home, but in local museums as a museum curator. 

After the passing of his grandfather last year, Kareem decided to spread his wings and relocate to Denver, Colorado to help nurture the vibrantly growing art scene there.

Throughout all of his moves, Kareem never once has taken flight, traveling cross-country by car with a moving van following behind him. Accommodating to the cooler weather has been difficult for him and he dreads the upcoming summer, but it is a price he is willing to pay for the rich culture that he has found in Denver, specifically in the River North Art District where he works. 

#chq;intro #► — no artist tolerates reality / kareem salaam

[madlori]

[excerpt from “Courtship Behaviors of the Southern Coastal Husbro” chapter 6 (final chapter)]

---

[published in Slate.com]

The Un-Couple, Coupled

by Evan Buckley, guest contributor

Two years ago, I wrote an article for this site about my relationship with my best friend, Eddie. He and I had decided to become platonic domestic partners, share a household, raise his son (later our son, I adopted him soon after we entered this arrangement), and form a family. We were not romantically involved. We were not physically involved. We just wanted the security, support, and comfort of sharing our lives with the person who knew us best.

This concept seemed to strike a nerve. The article was shared, tweeted, discussed, and in some cases, doubted. I did an AMA on Reddit shortly after it was published, and was both flattered and mystified by the level of interest in the idea that two straight dudes who were just friends could commit to each other for life. In the many discussions that followed, we found out that this idea was not as unusual as it may have seemed. I’ve heard from so many couples (and groups of more than two) who have chosen this kind of relationship to form the basis of their lives and give them what they need to be happy.

It sure gave us what we needed. The years I spent with Eddie as his domestic partner (or “husbro,” as one of our friends likes to call us) were some of the happiest of my life. I’ve never felt so safe with another person, so valued, and so content.

I’m writing this follow-up article partially upon request (we get frequent emails asking how we’re doing) and partially because I wanted to share it with readers who felt seen by the first one, because our platonic domestic partnership has come to an end.

Whoops, we fell in love.

To those who already thought this was the case, or predicted that it would happen, well, congratulations. If you had a bet on it, spend your winnings on something frivolous. To those who felt validated that we were making a queerplatonic relationship visible, and making it work: you and your relationships are still valid, and still awesome. The fact that we failed at being platonic partners doesn’t mean that such a relationship is doomed to fail, it means that we were.

I definitely had some guilt that I’d “betrayed” this concept for which I’d been such a visible torchbearer, but Eddie says that my first responsibility is to myself, my own happiness and mental health, and to him and our family. He’s right.

If you’re thinking to yourself “wow, I could have sworn he said they were both straight” you’re correct. Sexuality isn’t an either/or situation, it’s a gradient. I am not the first person to experience an evolution of my sexuality, and neither is he. I’m not comfortable labeling myself, or him, but I can say that however I’m wired, it allows me to have a fulfilling, amazing, and physical relationship with a man I love very deeply, and for that, I’m grateful. If the rest of the world would like to call me a gay man, or call us a gay couple, that’s fine. That’s none of my business. I plan on spending the rest of my life happily married to Eddie (we got engaged a few weeks ago), so it’s sort of irrelevant, anyway.

Our son is over the moon, although I suspect the biggest part of that is he no longer has to share a bathroom, since Eddie moved into my room. Our friends and family are busy bombarding us with wedding suggestions (no, Hen, we are not having a destination wedding in Iceland) and we are debating how long we can wait to buy our son his new suit for the ceremony so he won’t grow out of it too quickly. We still work in the same firehouse and so we spend almost all our time together, but I still can’t wait to get home to see him and hang out with him. I never had any confidence that I would find happiness in life, or that anyone would ever volunteer to spend it with me, but Eddie has done so, repeatedly, and joyfully. I can’t wait to be his husband, and for him to be mine.

If my earlier article helped anyone out there discover a new kind of relationship, or realize that something they never imagined was possible, I’m glad. If anyone is happy now because of what I shared with you, I couldn’t ask for a better reward for writing it. If this update makes you feel sad, I understand. But our domestic partnership was valid and worthwhile on its own merits, not just because it led to more. We had an amazing, cooperative, and fulfilling life together long before our first kiss. Just because it changed, doesn’t mean it wasn’t real.

---

Read the whole fic series here on AO3!

#buddie #buddie fic #queerplatonic #madlori's fic #husbros #9-1-1 #9-1-1 fanfiction #evan buckley #eddie diaz

[imperator-titus]

If I could come up with a title for this series, I would, but I can't.

Thank you to the few people enjoying my work! It has encouraged me (probably a little too much.) This one is pretty long. There may be a lull soon simply because I haven't finished Act 3 on my own so I don't really have an idea for how that'll go. I also don't really know how it'll go in general because this is a fairly sanitized version of my daily daydream material. Concepts ranged from Rowan being a 'minor death deity that Withers pulled into Toril' to 'Rowan can do a lot of things with the power of imagination and suddenly she's a Sister of Battle punching Steel Watchers or a cyberninja a la Cyberpunk getting the Party out of trouble.'

Anyway, Tags (Trying to update when I realize something should probably be tagged): Astarion x Tav (Rowan, not reader, human, agender AFAB but lets the team refer to them as female), Canon x OC, Isekai, Angst, All the Vampirism Warnings (Blood, Biting, etc.), Sexually suggestive situations, Allusions/Mentions of Suicide, Memory Loss, Gender Dysphoria

The group had infiltrated the goblin camp yesterday and decided to take a day to properly rest and come up with a plan. ‘Plan’ was a rather loose word, mostly consisting of “turn goblins into bloody pulp and ash” and bullshitting.

Rowan was, of course, still in a sour mood from her last encounter with Astarion. He was still doing his best to avoid her, lest she turn that icy glare on him again. Everyone noticed and he did a poor job of lying.

“Maybe you should come with us,” Karlach offered a little hopefully as she watched the others’ breakfast being made. “I find it pretty relieving to take out my bad mood on something squishy and gross like a goblin.”

“I think, perhaps, Rowan could talk to us first, instead of putting herself in harm’s way,” Wyll rebutted with a wry smile. “You know, it's been some time and we don't really know much about you.”

“Not much to tell,” she responded woodenly, stirring the potatoes she was frying.

“But where are you from? You're clearly not from Faerûn. But you can speak with us, so it can't be anywhere too exotic,” the Blade continued to ponder aloud. Gale scoffed.

“Ridiculous. You didn't see her when first we arrived on that abysmal shoreline. She was clearly plucked from Faerûn when the nautiloid went through some temporal shift between planes.”

“Heyyy,” Karlach started cautiously, holding up a warding hand towards the woman in question, “why are you almost as red as me? Are you alright?”

Rowan screeched. Loud, piercing, and feral. Everyone recoiled. Lae’zel half-drew a knife. With seething rage, the human hurled her spatula into the ground by her feet with enough force that it sank in a few inches with a satisfying shnk.

“You want to know if I’m alright?!” she screamed, looking them all in the eye, settling on Astarion’s for a few moments. “I am actively going insane, and you’re all compelled to make it worse!

“You’re right, I'm not from here. I don't even know where this place is in relation to where I'm from. Why am I terrified all the time? Why do I ask you dumb questions?” She pointed into the sky with a rage-trembling finger. “That's not my moon! Those aren't my stars! The only things that talk are humans. Elves, dragons, magic? Make-believe tales for children. The dead stay dead and they have nothing to say to us. The existence of God? Practically a matter of philosophy.

“As if it wasn't enough that I am in a place that I am wholly ill-equipped and untrained for, every day I wake up on this horrifying rock and forget a piece of what my life was like before. I have been standing here, making our food, while desperately trying to remember the faces and names of people I loved, the things I've done, the shit that makes me me, and you all come up and fucking prod me about stuff that means nothing  to me. I spent our first week here debating the possibility that I've died and this is my own personal hell, which I didn’t believe in until I was being constantly tortured by this place. The person I shared most of my life with is just a shapeless fucking shadow now. I have almost completely lost the concept of who I am as a person. Nevermind that you” Rowan singled out Astarion with an accusatory finger “keep saying and doing things to me that make me want to peel off my own skin on a near-daily basis because for some reason I’ve now long forgotten, they trigger a deep-seeded revulsion at the concept of my having a corporeal form that I am unfortunate enough to still inhabit.

“So, to answer your question; no, I’m not alright! Make your own fucking last meal before you get eaten by goblins.” Rowan turned on her heel and confidently walked out of camp.

She was out of sight by the time anyone could speak.

“Do you think she’s telling the truth?” Gale asked, an inquisitive finger on his chin. “A world with no magic? How would that even work?”

“The worm has scrambled her senses,” Lae’zel said dismissively. “There is no reason to believe anything she says. You should have allowed me to put her down long ago.”

“But it would explain everything, wouldn't it?” Karlach uncertainly voiced, crossing her arms. “She didn’t even trust the vegetables.”

“I cannot imagine losing my very sense of being, surrounded by strangers in a strange land. And to not even have an inkling of combat training,” Wyll mused with a sad shake of his head.

“Well-” Astarion started, one emphatic hand frozen in the air and the other on his hip, before huffing in frustration.

“You were going to say ‘good riddance’, weren’t you?” Shadowheart teased with a sly smile. She knew he couldn’t say it.

The vampire sighed and lowered his hand. “It’s hard to say good-bye to a reliable meal that cleans its neck.”

“Are you crazy?!” Karlach cried, clenching her fists and furrowing her brow. Her fire blazed for a moment before she turned to gather her equipment. “We can’t let her go out alone!”

“Surely she’s coming back? She left her things,” Gale pointed out.

“Wizards really are idiots,” Karlach said over her shoulder with clear annoyance. “Rowan knows she won’t make it out there on her own! A bedroll isn’t going to change that.”

“The danger will either teach her to fend for herself or cull the weak,” Lae’zel pointed out before returning to her tent.

Karlach growled and made a rude gesture in the githyanki’s direction. Astarion also turned to leave, but the tiefling carefully pinched his shirt between her claws just briefly enough to tug him and ruin his balance. “No you don’t, you leech, you’re coming with me.”

“Why me?” Astarion whined, trying to see if she scorched his one decent shirt. “You might recall that she has been very unpleasant towards me lately. I don’t think this is the face that will win her back,” he argued, flamboyantly fanning his hands from below his chin to the sides of his face, smiling as he did so. The smile dropped, replaced by a glower as he flicked his hand in the wizard’s direction. “Take Gale.”

“Nope, you got the most to apologize for. Now put your leathers on and let’s go.”

In a few minutes they were on the road, just the two of them. Astarion debated whether or not Karlach was going to singe his ear off before he muttered, “This is ridiculous.”

“I know, deep down, you don’t mean that.”

Astarion scoffed. “How much complaining must I do before you lot realize that I don’t want to do good things?”

“Have you ever considered that maybe you were a good person before Cazador?”

“I don’t see what that has to do with now.”

“You’ve had a hard go of it, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a dickhead to everyone.”

“This is probably a bad time to say that I’ve been letting you go in the wrong direction for the past 5 minutes?”

Karlach roared. Astarion veered a few steps away to avoid being burned. “What’s wrong with you?!”

Sheepishly, he started leading her in a different direction. “I think the answer to that should be quite obvious.”

Karlach stomped beside him for a bit before becoming visibly confused. “Wait, how do you know the right way?”

“I can smell her blood on the wind,” he answered theatrically, fingertips twinkling in the air like magic. Karlach’s eyes went wide in shock.

“She’s hurt already?!” Astarion rolled his eyes.

“No, darling, it’s just a vampire thing.” Karlach walked silently for a few more beats.

“Like one of those dogs that track something by its smell?” she asked rather innocently. Astarion bristled.

“No.” He eventually sighed in defeat. “Yes, like a scent hound.”

It wasn’t that long before they caught up to Rowan. They found her on the stretch of beach where she and Shadowheart had awoken and started this journey together.

“What is she doing? This isn’t that far from camp,” Astarion pointed out, almost a little miffed. “I thought she was going to find a dragon or something to gobble her up.”

“Looks like she’s fishing, big guy,” Karlach answered earnestly, unsquinting her eyes. “And you are going to go ask her how it’s going.”

Astarion huffed. “What if I mess this up? I’m going to mess this up. Apologies and caring aren’t exactly some of my strong suits.”

“Then I’ll drag her back. She might be a little crispy, but better than goblin food.” When Astarion started to argue, Karlach pointed a firm finger toward the beach. His shoulders sagged in defeat before he rolled them back to swagger with his usual self-importance.

The beach was an absolute mess. The forgotten bodies of dead fishermen were mostly bones, their flesh taken by both animals and the elements. Fetid piles of goo pooled under the nautiloid’s hulking tentacles. Thankfully, a breeze was pushing the smell away from them.

Rowan remained seated as he approached, but an ever-so-slight turn of her head indicated that she knew he was there. “I’ll be honest, you're probably the second-to-last one I expected to look for me.”

“Darling, I’m hurt.” He feigned a blow to his ego, but realized she couldn’t see. With a tone like a lady-in-waiting looking for something scandalous, he asked, “Who's the first?”

“Karlach,” she answered immediately.

“Well, she’s here too,” he said after a deflating huff. “Almost ruined my shirt dragging me out here.”

Rowan didn't respond, merely flicked the end of her fishing pole. Astarion could hear her breath change slightly for a moment before returning to normal. Actual normal, not that high-chested cornered-animal breathing she usually did. Her heart beat a steady rhythm in his ears. 

“Fishing? Really? We thought you were looking for a way to kill yourself.”

“I liked fishing. I still remember that,” she told him calmly.

“I think I’d rather die,” he remarked before lowering himself onto a nearby rock that wasn't too dirty. A few moments passed in silence as he tried to figure out how this whole apology thing was supposed to work.

“What’s it like?” Rowan asked before he could even start to find the words. Red eyes flicked over to her, but her attention remained on the water. “Forgetting who you are?”

“Well, I lost myself all at once, so I’m not sure that it compares.” He also didn't like to think about it too much, but it kept coming up in conversations. The group had a way of doing that, making everyone slowly expose the most horrible shit that happened to them. “You had a point, though. The dark shape sitting in your memory. As if you might be able to squint hard enough to make sense of it, but you can't. It nags at you, that it's there and you can't get to it.”

She flicked the end of the rod again, a look of deep contemplation on her face. It eventually softened. “That first night you came to my tent, when I asked you not to stop? I'd forgotten my husband’s name. I spent all day trying to remember it. I was afraid I’d forget something else in my sleep.”

Astarion still didn’t understand why Karlach insisted he be the one to do this. Maybe he was capable of empathy and compassion when he was a mere elf, but life as a spawn had surely broken the part of him capable of relating to the plights of others. He didn’t feel the need to apologize for teasing her, because that was fun. They all did it to one another, why was she special? No one apologized to him for making barbs about his condition.

Although… When she pushed him off of her, when she screamed at them all and ran away, he was afraid. Afraid that Rowan would be gone for good. Not just afraid that he’d have to find some other necks to bite, but that he would no longer feel her warmth. She would no longer be there to admire him and he couldn’t spy on her in the mirror when she wasn’t looking. That cute little look of utter concentration, the nimble flicks of her fingers as she used some thoroughly practiced skill. Here she was, so focused and casual as she waited for her prey to strike.

It hurt when they made those jokes about him. Would he feel better if they apologized? It would have to be genuine. That was probably why he didn’t want to apologize. Astarion was a lie, a lure, and probably hadn’t been genuine in over 200 years.

“I’m sorry about the other day. When I pushed you,” she said, solemnly breaking the silence between them. “I wasn’t ready to accept that my old life was gone. You didn’t know that what you said would hurt so much.”

“I said something very cruel,” he responded after the initial shock wore off. “The circumstances only made it that much crueler. For once, I… I am actually sorry.”

“I’m glad I could be your first,” Rowan joked with a completely straight face. Astarion laughed loudly and if he hadn’t covered his eyes, he would’ve seen a broad smile spread across her face. When he was done, she swiftly pulled her line out of the water. “Come on, then. Who else is going to make dinner for those idiots?”

Astarion turned first to leave, only to find Karlach grinning and giving him two thumbs up. How embarrassing.

“So, we’re all good now?” Karlach asked excitedly as they approached.

“We’re all good now,” Rowan confirmed with a nod. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

Karlach’s eyes went big like when Scratch begged for scritches. “It’s awful what’s happening to you. I still remember what it was like when I first ended up in Avernus. At least I could take my anger out on demons. All you have is a frying pan!”

Instinctively, Rowan tried to place a hand on the woman’s arm, and nearly did, but Astarion swatted the hand away before she could burn herself. Instead, she smiled up at Karlach. “Well, when Dammon can finally fix your engine, I'll be first in line for a hug.”

“You can count on it!”

They walked along, Karlach in front and Astarion bringing up the rear. Not that there was much danger the way Rowan fled, but it didn’t hurt to be cautious.

Karlach was humming to herself when Astarion sped up to walk beside Rowan. In a quiet voice, he asked, “Did you really mean that? That I make you want to… peel off your own skin?”

“It’s hard to explain. It’s not about you,” she answered with a reassuring tone and a soft smile. “You’re the only one… touching me and pointing out the way I look and it just… reminds me that I’m in this body and I don’t like it. I would say that I’d rather be a ball of pure energy, but then I’d have Gale sucking on my neck.”

Astarion laughed loudly again. Karlach looked back at them and pouted. “What’s so funny?”

“Talking about how cute Gale is,” Rowan lied, only to be attacked with one of Astarion’s sharp elbows.

“Gods, don’t tell me you believe that,” he warned her, a defeated look in his eyes. Rowan shrugged.

“What? You’re all cute. Druids were cute. Those tieflings were cute. Bet there’ll be a lot of cuties in Baldur’s gate.”

Astarion glowered at her. “I am not. Cute. I’m gorgeous.”

“Aww, take the compliment, Fangs,” Karlach admonished him, her flames running hot like a blush. “I think it’s sweet. She’s never even seen an elf before and she thinks you’re cute, not disgusting.”

“Wyll showed me a picture of a kobold once. They looked pretty cute too.”

Astarion gagged loudly.

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