#i should make a tier list of all the things i've done that i hated in all my years of school | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dewitty1 · 1 year

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Fic Recs Wrap Up - April 2023(ノﾟ∀ﾟ)ノ⌒･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*☆

Pages of You by wolfpants @wolfpants

Summer, 1980. Harry is floating between university and becoming a Real Certified Adult. He’s not ready. He really isn’t.

In a desperate attempt to have the Best Last Summer ever, he takes a casual job at his godfather’s bookshop in London, starts an illicit pen pal affair with a wordy posh boy that he’s catching feelings for, all while dealing with the son of Sirius’s business rival, one Draco Malfoy, insufferable know-it-all extraordinaire.

A story about trying to figure out who you are, where you’re going in life, and who you want to take along with you. Rec Post

Once More With Feeling by InnerLilith

Draco is dosed with a consummation-compelling potion, with Harry Potter as his intended. It’s a cruel irony, because he’s wanted Potter for years. But not like this.

In which the boys try to deal with the fallout from an excruciating fuck-or-die, and end up with much more than either of them expected. Rec Post

The Foxing Ring by Vukovich @vukovich

What. The. Fluff.*

Harry’s got no magic, one good ear, no great dating prospects, and a nice little wand workshop.

Draco’s got too much magic, a history of biting off ears, no great dating prospects, and a growing fondness for wandmakers. And a very fetching tail.

*and smut! Rec Post

any day now by oknowkiss @oknowkiss

Draco supposes he should be grateful.

The rehabilitation centres were the Minister’s idea, or that’s what the Prophet said anyway. Their stated objective is simple: to provide a safe space for low-tier Death Eaters and high-tier sympathisers to reconsider the entirety of their life choices. All guests–because no one is a prisoner here, the literature brags–are to be provided with shelter, food, clothing, and the guided support of a Mind Healer via a programme they call “ideological restructuring,” which is, of course, mandatory.

OR: Draco Malfoy considers the circle. Rec Post

A Soft Spot for Lost Causes by Helenish

“Remember at school? Weasel? You’re so poor and dirty?” Ron said encouragingly “You hated me.”

“I did,” Draco said. Rec Post

Ten Steps To Learn Everything About Draco Malfoy by bafflinghaze @bafflinghaze

It’s a horrible day when Harry needs to visit Gringotts: the goblins there detest him, and it’s a frustrating bureaucratic battle to get anything done.

But that all changes when Malfoy starts working at Gringotts.

What was Malfoy doing before? What is Malfoy doing now? Harry has an endless list of questions, and there’s only one way to get them all answered (visiting Gringotts extremely frequently), and Malfoy won’t suspect a thing.

Turns out that Harry doesn’t suspect a thing either. Rec Post

An Inconvenient Attachment by FangQueen @fangqueen

Draco Malfoy has a secret ― a crush that he’s harboured for years. He poured his heart out into his journals at school, but now over twelve years later, he’d rather just forget it all. He’s wrapped up in the world of being Pansy’s Best Man, helping her put the finishing touches on what’s supposed to be her happiest day, when the letters start getting leaked. Will Ron Weasley ever figure out they’re all for him? And if so, what will be his reply? Rec Post

Tiny Home by wolfpants @wolfpants

The last two people Draco expects to find chopping wood on his property are Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter.

But there they are.

–

Harry and Ron left the Aurors years ago to travel the world and make up for lost time. When they finally decide to settle roots back in England, together, building a tiny home in the Lake District by hand seems like the perfect plan. What they don’t realise is that Draco Malfoy already lives on the plot of land that they choose to build on.

A story about years of feelings, about weaving lives in and around each other, and about finding a place safe enough to call home. Rec Post

Here are a few more fics I've read recently that y'all might like to check out as well! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Nothing Like the Sun by Lomonaaeren

Harry finally realizes that he has trouble keeping lovers both because of his looks and because he isn’t very good at sex. He does what he can to alter that, but it seems he’s never going to be good enough to satisfy a wizard lover. When Draco Malfoy offers, Harry thinks a casual relationship with him might be the solution to his problems. But he should have remembered one thing: when it comes to Harry, Malfoy has a problem staying casual.

And Still I Dream written by greenmegsnoham @greenmegsnoham with art by Gaudium_Chara @gaudium6191

Draco was beyond frustrated with the school's preferential treatment of sports programs over the arts. Determined to collect what is due, Draco must come toe to toe with the ever incessant thorn-in-his-side, Varsity Basketball Captain, Harry Potter. Though Draco may not receive the financial support he'd been hoping for, he just might get a boyfriend out of it instead…

When you Dream a Dream, it just may come true…

Curiosity, Wonder, Spontaneous Delight by cloudings

After Harry hears some rumours about Malfoy, he becomes more and more curious until he just has to get some answers. Malfoy is more than prepared to give him anything he needs, just as long as he gets something back in return. Harry’s not sure why he’s surprised that it’s something moderately illegal.

In which Ron continues to get far too many eyefuls, Hermione has had quite enough with everybody, and Harry’s not sure why enemies to friends to friends with benefits isn’t enough for him.

Harry becomes incredibly curious, and somewhere along the line ends up accidentally falling in love with Draco Malfoy. Because of course he bloody would.

A Shower, A Meal, A Nap, and A Shag by chickenlivesinpumpkin

Harry's supposed to be alone in Grimmauld Place...so why is there a Malfoy in his shower? And what's Harry going to do about it?

Part 1 of It Started in the Shower

Sunseeker by shiftylinguini @shiftylinguini

Harry is a struggling writer.

Namely, he is struggling with: writing his next book, dealing with his agent, finding a decent tea strainer, fielding his friend's concern over the aforementioned book, and figuring out who the cat loitering in his garden belongs to.

He also has a slight liking-Malfoy problem. Okay, he has a massive liking-Malfoy problem.

A Life Worth Remembering by Writcraft @writcraft

Severus Snape wakes in St Mungo’s, to discover that a potions accident has wiped the last forty years from his body and mind. Just twenty-five years old, Severus is reliant on Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, now both in their forties, to help him fill in the missing decades. As Severus tries to navigate a much-changed world, Harry and Draco struggle with a secret of their own.

( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡ I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I have! Happy reading, y’all! xoxo Carey (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*💜💙💚💛❤💗💕💖

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warmmilk-n-honey · 11 months

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@isleofgumby made a tier list for kuro characters so I decided to rank the blorbos

I only included the anime versions of the characters that were in the original anime, so even if it's their book of iteration in the picture, it's meant to be rating their original anime iterations. For example, anime Queen Victoria is meant to be lolli Victoria from season 1 despite the image being her book of counterpart. So, if the character only shows up in book of, I didn't bother to include them because their manga and anime counterparts are basically the same.

I only included the kuromyu actors of the musicals I've seen obviously. I think every one of them did a great job, I mainly ranked them based on how iconic I found their performance, how much I felt they embodied their characters, how much I like their characters in general, and how much screen time they got, so some of these actors are at a disadvantage based on how much they were on stage.

my explanation👇

S-Tier- The absolute elite of the elite of kuro characters and actors. I don't just love these characters, these characters make the manga for me, they are the absolute most special guys in the whole world. The actors not only embodied the characters well, but I think brought something new to the table that made their performance exceptional. For example, Madam Red's actor slayed so hard with her singing, but also brought depth to the character that made me like her more than I did originally, she was also really hot.

A-Tier- I love all the characters in A, they are icons they make me smile, they make me love the manga. They might not be quite on the level of S tier, but they are very close. Tanaka's anime counterpart is there because while I think the way he deflates is cursed, he is pretty similar to the Tanaka we know and love and I appreciate his Japanese va a lot. Some of the characters in A tier simply have not had enough screen time to be in S. I was also so conflicted about putting Bard and Tanaka in A instead of S but I decided to because Bard's backstory did leave a slightly bad taste in my mouth, and Tanaka has yet to prove his loyalty to O!Ciel, I'm sorry it had to be this way, but I'm strict.

B-Tier- I feel positive things for these characters, I generally like them, but I don’t love them, I generally like them, but I don't care about them that much. Season 1 Victoria is here because I think she’s hilarious and I do actually like her design. Kelvin’s stage actor is here because I felt he did a rlly good job with the character he was given.

C-Tier- I don't care about these characters whatsoever/they have done something that I don't like. For instance, Pitt would be a lot higher, but he betrayed O!Ciel and his character isn't interesting enough to make up for it so, sorry. The anime iterations of many beloved characters are here because I don't think they were portrayed well and it annoys me, especially the servants.

D-Tier- The absolute bottom of the barrel, characters I actively hate or strongly dislike. Sebastian is mainly here as a joke and would realistically be higher up, but I enjoy hating on him so much and that man deserves to be taken down a peg. Anime Lizzie is here because she was done so dirty it should be considered a crime. Anyway these characters are trash.

This list is subject to change, but yeah. Agni could definitely be on S tier, Jane could be a lot higher than she is since she's very hot, stuff like that.

#kuro #kuroshitsuji #black butler #tier list #black butler character ranking #black butler tier list #my ranking #black butler characters

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stalebagels · 5 months

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what’s your ranking of the talk show hosts?

Oh, thank you for asking. I am so sorry for the essay I am about to write.

Highest to Lowest:

Conan O'Brien / Craig Ferguson - I put these two in the top spot because if you asked me to choose only one of them to watch for the rest of my life I wouldn't be able to do it. Both of them are people that I watched with my dad occasionally through my childhood so maybe I'm a little biased on that front. They're probably the only two hosts that I ever cared to watch interview anyone because it never felt boring to me even if I didn't really care about the interviewee or know who it was. They were both unique and just seemed like genuinely good people both inside and outside the studio (and to add to the bias a little; I got to meet Craig at one of his Fancy Rascal tour shows last year and he was so fucking great. I was so nervous going into it because I was worried he wouldn't be the same as he was on TV as is the case for a lot of celebrities, but he went above and beyond for everyone. He signed everyone's posters and merch even though he didn't have to (I got a poster signed) and he actually took the time to have a full conversation with everyone individually and make sure everyone was comfortable. He's a wonderful dude and I wish I could go back and talk to him again.)

Stephen Colbert - When I first started watching late night shows (back when the pandemic first started), the first shows I ever sat down and watched a full episode of on TV were Stephen and Conan. I had absolutely no idea who Stephen was because up until that point I hadn't really cared enough about politics. I grew up in a heavily conservative small town with a heavily conservative family in the south where the word liberal counted as an insult, so you can imagine we didn't really watch a lot of late night shows. Stephen's show helped me make sense of things, helped me work out what my own feelings were, and provided an escape from the hell that was lockdown. He was the one that made me give a shit about what's happening in this country first, and after that first sit down I ended up going back and watching old episodes of The Colbert Report and The Daily Show (he also led me to Jon in that regard, since I had no idea either of those shows existed) and found that I loved his style of comedy. I really do wish I had discovered him sooner.

Jon Stewart - The only reason I didn't stick Jon and Stephen in the number two spot together (as well as John Oliver) was because Stephen was primarily responsible for my interest in politics - basically he was for me what Jon was to everyone before he retired - and was the one who led me to Jon in the first place. It took me a while, but once I finally went back and started watching old clips and episodes of The Daily Show; once again I wished I had discovered him sooner. I wish I had his righteous, angry optimism to look forward to every night, but a lot of the things he's said and done on the show still hold true today. Plus, his fight for the 9/11 first responders bill to get passed was absolutely inspiring and an example we should all follow when it comes to pushing for change and holding our leaders accountable. I didn't realize he started out as a stand-up comedian, but I've since watched as much of it as I could get my hands on because he's just an incredibly smart and funny dude in any situation.

John Oliver - I hate to put John so low on the list but I didn't want to cop out and put him, Jon, and Stephen all in the same tier lol. I'll be honest, I can't really remember the first time I watched John's show. I think it must have been on YouTube at some point during lockdown or even right before, but ever since the first time I watched it I was hooked. I learn so much from him and his show and I always look forward to his next episode. Generally, I don't really watch guest interviews unless I really care about whoever is there, but since John doesn't have guests it was much easier for me to sit down and watch the entire thing without getting bored or distracted. He does an incredible job of informing his viewers about a problem that - chances are - they had no idea existed beforehand and the amount of research/investigation he and his team do inspire me to do the same. It was really weird watching his stand-up and seeing him in regular clothes and not a suit though lol.

Jimmy Kimmel - I think this might... be a controversial take. His was the third show I started watching during the pandemic - I think Stephen took a break at some point and I decided to try watching Kimmel to fill the time - and I found that I actually quite liked him. His monologues felt natural and easy, and he had a lot of his family and friends on his staff which I admired (plus Guillermo). His humor is kind of the same as my dad's though (sort of), so maybe that's why I liked him off the bat. His beef with Matt Damon is hilarious, his pranks are generally harmless and funny, and he seems very down to earth and generous for someone who makes a goddamn lot of money. Plus, I watched a clip of him back during the Tonight Show fiasco where he came on Leno's show and shit talked at him about backstabbing Conan, which earned some respect from me. I don't know a lot about what he did on the Man Show because I don't think I would touch that with a ten foot pole (and from what he says neither would he), but he seems like a good guy. (Although I will say I generally only stay long enough to watch the beginning of his show like the monologue or unnecessary censorship since I don't care about musical guests or interviews).

Seth Meyers - Again I hate to put him down so low, but I have to be honest and say I don't actually know a whole lot about him. I watched him on SNL sometimes with my dad when it was on, but it wasn't very often. I never watched his show during the pandemic as I was mainly focused on juggling Kimmel, Colbert, Fallon (gag) and Conan. Honestly it wasn't until Strike Force Five came around that I really started paying attention to him. I like that he involves his writers and his staff in a lot of his bits, and he seems like a lovely person. Unfortunately, though, he is down here a little lower but I still enjoy watching him even if I haven't watched a lot of his content. (His stand-up special is on my list, though)

Jimmy Fallon - This is a weird one for me. I watched Fallon a couple of times during lockdown and even before then I knew who he was because everyone hated him. It was on a whim that I decided to watch his show one night, and I wasn't really impressed with what I saw. That said, I didn't hate it - and when the Rolling Stone article came out I was very disappointed. And the fact that he just never addressed it publicly and carried on like nothing happened rubbed me the wrong way, and every monologue I did see afterwards just.. wasn't even puff-of-nose-air funny anymore. He became much more annoying to me, even during the podcast. The only time I found him funny were the Strike Force Wives games. Otherwise he just became painfully bland, and it's a shame because his original late night show was actually pretty decent in comparison to The Tonight Show.

As for Corden and M*her; if they were being chased by hundreds of angry geese and asked me to let them in my house for shelter, I'd shut the door in their face and laugh.

So, if you got to the end of this long ass clusterfuck, here are two pics of Craig and I at the tour :) and once again, I apologize.

#I AM SORRY #this got SO LONG #thanks for the ask though i've never gotten one before lol nobody wants my opinions on things #this is probably why #honorable mention: graham norton my king #strike force five #jon stewart #stephen colbert #john oliver #conan o'brien #jimmy kimmel #craig ferguson #seth meyers #jimmy fallon #anon ask #late night

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bluegekk0 · 11 months

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Honestly, I love your style, And I enjoy the way you design the characters we rarely see with the cloak off, like grimm or the pale king. But obviously, No artist is without his flaws, and I presume you do not view yourself to be without any. For starters, While the whole "Pale king is an innocent gubblemuncher" thing is cute, depending on how it's handled, It gets stale, fast. (especially considering purely how non-gubblemuncher PK is in the lore, but whatever, we can just ignore that-) Then, I have a bit of a nit to pick at with the way the "Feral PK au" was handled. Once again, similar issue to as I listed prior, PK being innocent and chill is cute, but it gets old fast, especially when the au is based around this characterization of the pale king. (Also, I didn't like PK and WL breaking up despite WL seeming to still care about him in the game, Unless there was some insane sit-com tier argument they had after PK reincarnated that I was never told about, But ig we needed a reason to ship grimm and pk, since, as most are aware, WL hates grimm's guts, so I doubt she would be ok with sharing, so it makes sense.) And finally, I don't like the missed potential of the "feral PK au". When I first heard of that au idea, I imagined a tragic story where PK comes back, But is almost a wild animal and WL ends up caging him bc she's too attached to let him go.... Instead, It's basically an artifact title, one that only applies to the act 1, maybe even just act 0.5, Possibly act 0.25 depending on how it worked. So, I think a more accurate title would be "palegrimm crack au" /j

(Note that "Gubblemuncher" is not an expression I meant to offend, It's 11:55 AM and I needed to make up something to describe a gremlin who is adorable in their own way.)

okay so uhh. i wanted to keep this short but i have a lot of things to say, though i'll get to the point right away. i don't appreciate those kinds of comments, i'm sorry

don't get me wrong, you have every right to dislike aspects of my au. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. i'm aware that some of my takes are perhaps a little out there. i know many of them stray far away from canon. however, i never claimed that i wanted it to stick to canon, quite the opposite in fact

this au, the whole story, is something i do for myself. it's a little comfort space for me, that i decided to share with friends and other people because they showed interest and wanted to me to talk about it. i did not make it with the intention of creating a coherent narrative, or writing something sophisticated that would have a good plot. i'm not good at those things, i won't pretend otherwise. all this is, is just a silly self-indulgent au that means so, so much to me

and so i understand if some people don't vibe with it. that's perfectly fine, it's not for everyone. what i'm not fine with is people telling me how they think i should write the characters or where they think i should take the story, treating it as if the au is meant to cater to them. that is not what you'll find here, i'm sorry. i find comments like "this is a missed potential" to be a bit rude and quite discouraging, especially since i've never done anything like this and so i'm very insecure about it

some parts of this ask come off as a bit passive-aggressive to me, but that could very well be me overthinking. and because i don't like assuming the worst in people, i want to clear some misconceptions i saw here instead

first of all, the au is not built around the idea that pk is innocent. i've stated before that i don't agree with that notion, he has done terrible things and that should not be ignored. the difference here is that i try to make him more nuanced, and i've personally always loved the theme of well-meaning people committing horrible actions in the name of good. that is where i'm going with my interpretation. he tries to do well, he is very emotional and anxious, he wants to make others happy and be loved. and yet he's still responsible for the deaths of so, so many beings that did not deserve that fate. that is not something i want to ignore, it's something that haunts him constantly, and is a huge part of his character, his struggles and his arc in the au

the reason why you rarely see that portrayed in my art is because, like i said, this is something i do for myself. while i enjoy thinking about more emotional aspects of it, i also want to find happiness and comfort in it, and so i prioritize wholesome art, as that is what i find the most comforting. perhaps it is my fault that i'm not clear enough about this, and if so, i'll try to do better

i will be more short and to the point with the next part, as i've answered many asks about this topic in the past. but no, fpk and wl did not separate because of grimm. they did not separate because of a "sitcom tier argument" either. it was a result of their vastly different approaches to dealing with their guilt and shame (among other things about their relationship), and they divorced while still on good terms. this would've happened in the au even without grimm in the picture, so no, i did not just get rid of wl to make space for the ship i like. that was never my intention, even if pale nightmare is my preferred ship

lastly, about the name of the au, i mentioned before that it wasn't a conscious decision to name it that, people simply started calling him "feral pk" and i decided to keep it. for convenience, and because i thought it had a nice ring to it. that being said, it's still accurate to his character in the au. he doesn't simply "drop the feral act" once he reunites with his family, his instincts are a part of him now. throughout the whole story of the au, he is by all accounts "feral". if you had different expectations for this, then i'm afraid that is on you. you are free to explore the idea you had yourself, it sounds interesting. but it's not something i wanted to do

like i said. i don't want to assume that your intentions were to be rude. but i wanted to respond anyway to clear possible misunderstandings, and emphasize that i don't like seeing comments like this. still, i hope you have a good day anon. if you did not mean for me to interpret it like this, then know that i don't hold it against you. we're all here to enjoy ourselves, but some boundaries need to be made, and this is where i set mine. i hope you understand

#ask stuff #feral pk au

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orion-mp5 · 4 months

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Pokemon Nuzlocke

Day two! Reminder of what the rules are: I can only use female marked pokemon (My starter is the exception, though she is still a girl), to decide what I get, I google a list of pokemon in an area and use a number generator to pick what I have to pick.

I currently have three pokemon and zero badges, and not yet done with the intro. Let's jump right in!

--------Day Two-1/27/24---------

I head towards the school and spot some weirdos in helmets harassing a girl to join their group despite the fact she's said no, more than once, and I step in to give them a taste of their own medicine.

They mention they're members of Team Star, something Debby warned me about, I decide to use Spider Lily (My starter Sprigatito) to wipe the floor with the girl. Nemona pops up and assumes I'm the one who picked the fight, not wrong but ouch, but once she realizes I was standing up to them and that they were team star she gives me a terra orb and I use it to wipe the floor with the boy.

After that Nemona drags me into the school and tells me some of the basics of the building, and the director comes over to ask about our commute. I tell him we had a blast and Nemona tells him about the team star members that were bothering a student, which he mentions rarely goes to class.

I head to my own homeroom and introduce myself. I get asked what my favorite thing about pokemon is, after thinking for a moment, I answer playing with my pokemon. Then, Nemona asks me what I want to do. I.... don't know. My parents sent me here, I didn't have much of a choice, and my sister hates pokemon, so I've never went out of my way to figure out what I actually wanted to do with them...

"I don't actually know..."

Nemona smiles as I say this. "Fair, I get it! The possibilities are endless, right? Who can decide!"

After class I go to the staff room to find Nemona and I see her talking to a woman I've never seen before. I go to Nemona after they end their conversation. "Who was that?" "Piqued your interest, huh? That lady is... Well, they call her La Primera!"

La Primera? Hm.... I think I remember reading about her after I was told I would be sent her. Don't remember what it said though...

"You should try to reach Champion Rank like me!"

I snap back to reality, taking a second to process the suggestion. "I don't know..."

"Aw, but talent like yours deserves to be used! Hear me out... The trainers who reach Champion Rank are the ones who raise their Pokemon really strong. They're pro-tier battlers. Their moves keep crowds absolutely on the edge of their seats! You have to prove yourself to the Pokemon League to officially get the title of Champion."

My mind starts to wander as she speaks. That sounds rather fun... Would it be worth it? Now that I think about it... Mom and Dad wanted me to build a positive relationship with Pokemon...

"Alright, I'll do it."

"Perfect! Here, let me put the locations of the gyms on your phone map! Now that that's delt with, It's your lunch period, you should get going! See you!" She runs off, leaving me in the staff room, and I head to the Cafeteria.

I see Arven standing at the food bar, and I decide to walk over and say hi. He turns to me and smiles.

"Oh, hey. So we meet again! You remember me, right?"

"I wouldn't have come over to say hi if I didn't, haha!"

"Heh, fair. Your name was Orion, right?"

"Yep! How'd you know?"

"Whole school seems to be talking about you. The new kid who showed up with the president of the student council." That's not that big of a deal though... Eh. No harm no foul.

"I normally don't bother showing up for class, but I came all the way to school today just to talk with you-our new celebrity."

I chuckle a little as he says this. "Celebrity is a strong word. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I want you to help me make my dream a reality, If you want to." I notice he looks nervous as he asks me... He seems... Desperate.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Straight to the point, huh? For context, I love to cook, and I read a book talking about recipes that can heal pokemon and make them feel better. It talks about something called Herba Mystica, special herbs that heals pokemon as soon as it's eaten! There are five types based on what i've read, and they're only found in Paldea-and rare to boot! But the book says they're guarded by Titan Pokemon, meaning it'll be pretty tough to even grab a few sprigs. What I need you to do is help me fight them, and get the Herba Mystica."

I think about it for a second. A rare herb that heals pokemon? Maybe I could send a sample to my parents so they could do some testing on it, and maybe my mom could try to make a garden with it and use it in her restaurant... And if Arven is desperate to ask a stranger to help....

"If I can have a small sample of the herbs to send home, I'll help with no strings attached."

"Wait-I want you to think it over first! Here, let me mark the locations on your map app if you do end up agreeing after thinking it over some more. Here, take this as a prize for listening." He hands me a bag of Stardust, surprising me a little. He then runs off yelling to me over his shoulder.

"Give it some thought! Please!"

I chuckle to myself as I watch him leave. I have a feeling we're gonna be really good friends.

After I eat my lunch I go to leave the Cafeteria, before my phone starts to go crazy, answering a call by itself.

"...This is Orion, correct? I hacked your smartphone so I could talk to you. Hope you don't mind."

I growl under my breath, obviously unhappy to have my phone hacked, who wouldn't?

"Make it quick before I report this, Who are you?"

"Very well. My name is Cassiopeia. And I hear you're a trainer with serious potential. If that description is accurate, there's something I'd like to ask of you. Tell me, Orion... You know about Team Star, right?"

"Something tells me you already know the answer to that question, Cassiopeia."

"That would be correct. To not test your already short patience, I've come up with a plan to take them down and force the to disbaned for good. I call it...Operation Starfall! And I want you to be apart of it.

"I'll think it over, but I'm not making any promises."

"That's fine by me." With that the call ends. The idea someone hacked my phone fills me with anxiety. The director suddenly walks up to me.

"Ah, Miss Orion. Please do try to keep your voice down if you're making calls within the school, won't you?" My face flushes red with embarasment, I didn't realize I was being so loud.

"Of course, sir..."

"You don't want anyone else to over hearing any personal information, after all. Honestly... There are so many things we need to be careful about in this day and age. On you go, then, young lady." I nod, before rushing off to class. Too much has happened in one day already, and I don't want to add being tardy to that list.

-----

Later in the day I'm walking in the main hall, looking for a specific book when I hear the speakers turn on, asking me to go to the Directors office. I do so begrudgingly, expecting to have done something wrong, but in reality, Professor Sada wanted to have a video chat with me, asking me to take care of Dr.Pepper(the Koraidon).

I obviously say yes and then Nemona barges in and drags me towards my new dorm, where I spend the next few months, and before long, it's time for the annual treasure hunt.

I head towards the center of Messagoza, Nemona and Arven arguing about who I'm going to help. Cassiopeia hacks my phone again to mark Team Star locations on my Map App, and tells them I can do what ever I want which gets them to stop fighting.

Dr.Pepper lets me ride them and the intro to the game has officially ended.

I go through the west gate and open up the list of pokemon in the area and roll the dice, getting..... Smoliv! Bit of a set back with already having a grass type, but I've never gotten one, so it should be fun!

I'll end it here for today, thank you for reading this far. Have a lovely day, until the next day~!

-Orion.MP5

#funny #pokemon scarlett #pokemon nuzlocke #pokemon oc #sprigatito #koraidon #magicarp #tarountula #smoliv

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prettyblfan · 2 years

Text

Alright I take it back we don't need to cancel Pat's friends however I still think we need to cancel Pran's friends in particular Wai. Actually this is all about him.

Here's a list of reasons why (probably a lot more but all I could think of):

1. Wai is an emotional manipulator.

Okay I'll admit that I dout he does this intentionally, it's probably something he does unconsciously for what reason idk. But at this point it's a horrible habit that he needs to see and get rid of. Like he completely erases the things that he does wrong from his brain, like its always the other person's fault and never his.

That being said I could really see that he was hurt not because Pran was dating Pat but because he hid it from him. And that is a good sign however, I hate how he uses the title as Pran's best friend and holds it over him. Yes you are his best friend but you put him in a situation where he didn't feel safe enough to tell you.

2. He outed him.

A real best friend doesn't out the other just cause he's mad. Like what??? NO, I'm sorry but as a queer person this is my biggest nightmare I would have cried on the spot. I'm glad tho that Pran handled it soo well, like the character development is god tier. The Pran from the past could never (which is understandable who handles getting outed well)

Where's the remorse cause I don't see it, like look at how content with himself he looks afterwards.

3. His anger issues.

This reinforces point 2; I'm surprised his temper hasn't ruined all of his friendships already. He needs help, he just constantly acts on impulse all the time. This is toxic and unhealthy behaviour. He doesn't know how to talk about his feelings or discuss things civilly, I get it if those were never an option to begin with but to some degree he always had them as choices. Sure he gave Pran the chance to tell him, he asked about it civilly but with the way he behaves I wouldn't tell him either. Like I get just a tiny bit, but I don't get his automatic responses.

4. He knew.

Or atlest had some suspicion, yet he never asked. He saw Pran getting into Pat car, so just confront him with that evidence and ask him, or just wait for him to tell you. Wai why do you do the things that you do, this just makes you the bigger asshole. Like I get you felt shook and betrayed but we don't out people, you literally could have done anything else like ignore him or something but noooooo. Always outing the homosexuals

5. They just don't care

I'm pretty sure I've said this before but Pran's friends don't seem to understand the gravity of their actions at all. Like did they not think about the hard time Pran must have had emotionally after all of that. Cause Pran isn't strong I'm going to say it he puts on a brave face but I know he cried in his dorm alone. As he should cause that shit is bound to hurt, but as usual they only think about themselves. (Wai helping out Pat and Pran at the end of the episode is not enough to redeem him after all the things that he has done)

6. Zero apology.

Pran probably didn't want one, all he wanted was his friends back especially Wai but the fact that at no point did Wai apologise for his actions leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Yes I know we have the next episode for him to do so, but it's like he doesn't see anything wrong with what he did, Pran even apologised for nothing. He did absolutely nothing wrong yet he was the one saying sorry, this burns because I was in this position so many times with my ex-friend and it's so toxic. We get it Wai, Pran never told you but talk to him in private about it.

*************************************************

Anyway this has been my rant, all the shade to Wai.

No but on a less harsh note I get to a very small degree why he does some of the things that he does and that at least most of his feelings are genuine, like he really does see Pran as a friend but he's kinda just a shitty person.

Period.

#bad buddy #bad buddy the series #pat x pran #boys love #patpran

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gayninjas · 3 years

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(1/2) Okay so I'm still new to Naruto so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Also, this is long. I'm sorry. I'll split it.😅

Out of the K12 kids, Naruto, Sasuke and Neji were fucked over by Konoha (either by their clans, the old man hokage or the villagers). I'd include Rock Lee but I think he was just bullied as a small kid for being... weird? or not having chakra?? And he worked super hard and that didn't last long.

Anyway, I've read plenty of reviews about how the series ended poorly and how messages like "you can change your fate" were disregarded. That the the Naruto franchise would've done better staying an actiony, ninja shonen that focused more on changing the shinobi system instead of turning into the forced romantic shojo that it became. I agree with all of that.

And I said that to say this, I really am disgusted with how things went for Naruto, Sasuke and Neji. Naruto doesn't receive any apologies from those who should give him one (like the villagers! I think the old hokage bastard died so.. no apology there I guess). Like, I know Iruka apologizes to him and I don't know why. I know Iruka was Naruto's first bond, what'd he and only him have to apologize for.

Not only that but Naruto just accepts everyone and then hides the fact that those in charge of Konoha planned the Uchiha massacre!!! (Does Sasuke know he's doing that?) It's ridiculous to just hide the genocide committed by the state (because he's patriotic? Wants to stick to the status quo as much as possible while trying to change things??). And it's somehow worse to hide it when you have this intensely close relationship with the lone survivor of that genocide.

Like, why write Naruto like that? To receive no actual closure (imo) on how he grew up in Konoha and tp make him a top tier bootlicker

included the second part of the ask

(2/2) With Sasuke, that genocide happened and he was just left to his own devices on the outskirts. And he's treated as a villian for justifiably wanting to "destroy" Konoha and wanting a revolution. It gets under my skin how much the K12 kids don't give a fuck about stuff like this. (I like all of them (except for 2) and stuff like this sours my opinion on them)

Not only is he treated as a villain, it appears that no one pay's for the Uchiha massacre (except for Itachi?) which is bullshit. It's just swept under the rug. And THEN Sasuke is written to become another Konoha bootlicker??! He has to go off on his own to atone for his sins? What!

And finally Neji. He died as he knew he would, for the main house family. I will hate that forever and always. His destiny didn't change. Little!Neji in the chunin exams exposing how fucked up the Hyuuga clan is, no one (except Naruto?) cares. He gave Hinata a chance to back out before he killed her, which was allowed, she didn't, he was about to end it and then 4 teachers(?) jump in to save her because, special treatment. Can't let the (former) Hyuuga heir die, she means more than the other kids.

And he was treated as an antagonist for being rightfully pissed off. But no, he just gets over it I guess after befriending Naruto, the Hyuuga clan continues with its slavery bullshit and he dies sacrificing himself for Hinata. What a way to go.

And I know they don't address the slavery Neji wanted to abolish in Boruto. They just ignore it and act like everything's fine and dandy. Naruto isn't one of those series where things just happen offscreen and we know it's cool, right? They can't just expect ppl to think the Hyuuga clan changed right? They don't even focus on them, Neji died and so did any relevance to the Hyuugas because Hinata doesn't do anything.

(Had Neji lived I know he also would've been turned into a major bootlicker too)

In conclusion I can't stand how these 3 boys were screwed over by the village in many ways and then screwed over by bad writing. It's irritating. I love Naruto but there's so many problems with it.

i tried to be concise, hope i covered everything!

I agree that if the Naruto franchise didn’t end off with lackluster romance plots and instead gave closure for all the things they left open ended after the end of the war it would have made a much better ending to the series.

Kishimoto had even admitted he had trouble writing romance in as he hadn’t ever planned on it. He never considered it that relevant so when they did include it, the whole thing felt so forced and awkward it was even kinda ooc for Naruto and Sasuke (scenes like narutos flat ‘im not in touch with my emotions’ reaction to hinatas confession that butchered his character were an absolute pain to sit through)

Nejis death being an awful plot devise to develop NH was a terrible move, like neji sacrificed himself for someone who moments later held narutos hand and went "his hands are warm"??

Don’t even wanna list anything I dislike about ss cause their marriage is so lifeless i feel dead thinking about it.

As for the villagers, they were happy to alienate a poor kid who couldn’t fend for himself and let him believe he was a demon and was deserving of it all but then started licking his boots when they realized they had the equivalent of a nuclear weapon desperate to protect them, and even then they weren’t remorseful of their actions, its all very sickening really,

I think the whole end of Naruto was handled in a way that went against the characters values? like I can easily imagine Naruto being rightfully enraged at the people who issued the massacre of hundreds of innocents, and he wouldn’t ever think of hiding anything like that, especially from the victim who was also his friend??.

How they wrote sasuke as someone who now fucking bows down and becomes a soldier for a village that destroyed him and has done nothing for him is just absolute bs. Although with sasuke, even if one argues his loyalty was for Naruto, the patriotic lines are just too much.

As for the rest, I don’t have much to say cause they never tried to understand why sasuke was doing what he did, they only saw a power hungry uchiha who was seeking revenge.

And yes nejis end was tragic for all the wrong reasons, i was more pissed than sad watching it. He was treated as a tool for nh and his anger at the hyuga clan and their issues was brushed off without much thought because the series never delved into it or resolved it.

And yes we got no real closure for the uchiha massacre, all the messed up things in the hyuga clan and the way Naruto was mistreated his whole life etc. Its aggravating how they expect us to believe its all fixed and fine now

I really do love the pre shippuden arcs like the zabuza and haku arc especially though. They were the peak naruto experience for me and are always the scenes I reminisce and often get nostalgic over.

#thanks for the ask anon #sharing my opinions and interpretations

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retphienix · 3 years

Text

Phasmophobia maps ranked (totally objective, no opinions here, super srs, psyche gottem it's all opinions)

Brownstone High School

I won't sugar coat it, I didn't even bother going inside for a screenshot for this entry because I hate high school.

Now to be fair, I'm down to play high school whenever, I want to get better at it and I believe that should speed things up a bit and make it more fun.

And HS is the map I think of when I think of running a full 4 man!

But beyond a full 4 man HS is too big, too boring, and too annoying to solve.

It's long hallway with a million rooms after long hallway with a million rooms after small reprieve of finding a science lab or gym followed by long hallway with a million rooms followed by going upstairs to do it all over again.

THERE ARE TOO MANY CLASSROOMS AND I KNOW THAT'S THE POINT

But when the gameplay revolves around finding the room where the ghost is hanging around having these many rooms AND hallways can really drag things out.

Now to be honest, when you have the room on lockdown it's a fun map to maneuver and solve!

So if you walk in the front door and hear something fall over in a specific direction it immediately becomes more playable!

But if you walk in and the ghost is being a quiet asshole then you're in for the least fun you can have in phasmo in my opinion.

Just a bunch of "PLEASE DO SOMETHING" shouting and holding your EMF or thermo practically begging for something to happen.

Bottom tier, worst map, don't like it.

It doesn't even have unique collectibles to make up for the fact that it's a big map so you won't find the bone!

Hardly necessary (though I argue all maps need those) but definitely worth dropping a mention on top of being hallway simulator.

Too many rooms and boring hallways out of 9

Edgefield Street House

Edge honestly doesn't deserve to be next to HS but someone had to be and Edge gets the dishonor purely because it's the most middling map in the game.

Edge is fine.

Edge is passable.

Edge is simple and clean.

Edge isn't exciting is the problem, but it is still a fun one.

The houses aren't renown for being the most interesting; Their job is to be middling and accessible and they get the job done just fine. Edge just happens to be the most middling.

With a first floor that's underutilized, I mean the ghost is in the kitchen if they are here at all let's be real.

Garage is meh, living room is a rare spot for anything to happen, there's a weird back exit area that is never used ever for anything?

First floor is clearly an afterthought for the ghost but it gets the job done.

I actually really dig the basement layout, but I've never once seen a ghost spawn there lol. It's mostly just a place to turn on the power and hide in the locker and that's fine.

The 'star' of Edge is the upstairs which has roughly 9 billion rooms and locations for you to hide, scientists are still counting the exact amount.

You want the blunt end of that?

It's entirely playable- it's safe as hell even since there's a closet every 3 inches- but it's not the most interesting thing for an entire map to be "Go upstairs, look at the 15 doors because one is probably about to open for you and that's the ghost room"

Runs of Edge are a bit too 'samey' since so much of the real-estate is upstairs and it's so dense.

Edge is fine. The most 'passable' map in rotation that I won't complain about but I'm never stoked to head to.

Passable out of 9

Asylum

I'll be honest and say I'm not being thorough with asylum.

It's among my least played, but that doesn't mean my least enjoyed.

It's got a really fun reverb on voices, it's genuinely fun to wander through, but it just feels some strange level of 'too big' while still being... not that?

I dunno how to say it.

But the 1st floor is annoying to clear out with its layout and sure that's inexperience talking-

While the bottom floor is fun due to the aesthetic but it's in a weird place of being overly simplistic.

The bottom floor is just a big hallway with rooms on either side.

That's not the most interesting layout- though it is fun to hide down there, with bathrooms and other makeshift spots to hide behind in most rooms which makes the hallway less threatening.

Asylum is weird, the layout goes between annoying and overly simple between the two floors and it feels too 'wide' for what it has to offer.

AND YET

I like aslyum.

I never play it, but I like it.

Shweppsi out of 9

Tanglewood Street House

Tangle we all know it and what's there to say.

A little bit, to be honest :)

It's the smallest map around and it's a great first map to learn the ropes.

Tangle's strongest feature is its layout- it's both interesting and fun to experience in multiple runs.

I love the little trio of rooms (and bathrooms/closet space) on the left side of the house, the way it's a little mini hallway for two of them (and a bathroom), then deeper in to the left of the living room is the master bedroom, I dig that.

I dig the garage too, the way it's connected to a laundry room feels really nice, but let's be honest every ghost ever in Tangle is in the kitchen.

Sure that's not literally true and I've had a ton in the first room on the left or the bathroom on the left, but that kitchen is where every run on Tangle ends up- with everyone hanging out asking for the ghost to show themselves.

Also the basement is lame, nothing ever happens there and there's no real hiding from what I can tell, just run upstairs to one of the closets.

All said, you take the good design with the bad of being so small every run feels about the same and you end up with Tangle.

I really like Tangle as a beginner map and to revisit for the layout, but I won't lie, kitchen ghosts here are lame and common.

Still not bad enough to outweigh the good, Tangle is a winner.

Tutorial out of 9

Grafton Farmhouse

Once upon a time Grafton was my favorite farmhouse but, well, it's here and the other hasn't been mentioned yet.

Grafton is one of those maps with few "locker" style hiding spots, but unlike a lot of the other maps that emphasize hiding behind things I just never feel comfortable hiding on Grafton- and not in a tense way, in a "The AI is gonna ignore this and walk around and peer out the window for no reason which will prompt it to see me anyway, won't it?" kind of way.

There are some lockers in the storage upstairs now which is nice because the ghost spawns there like 80% of the time.

First floor : Left is dining/kitchen/and a back room. Between those the kitchen is pretty popular for the ghost but also is a spot where orb ghosts can be assholes who hide their orbs for no reason.

Right side is a living room, two bedrooms, and a laundry room, these are some pretty nice spots for the ghost to be because there ARE hiding spots, but their accessibility kinda depends on where in any of these rooms the ghost decides to spawn, making the hunts pretty fun.

Genuinely this right side of the first floor is a win, I dig this area and when the ghost hangs out here.

Upstairs has a shitty terrible awful room where you die (far left), a bathroom where nothing ever happens, and a room with an attached back room/storage that the ghost LOVES to be in to an obscene degree.

Grafton is fine all around, a good hunt location, but really it's where the hiding spots are and where the ghost likes to be that make it just less fun for me.

It's almost always "Upstairs back room / Kitchen / Left Bedroom on first floor" and the repetition of my luck makes it less fun. (though, again, that bedroom is fine because that cluster of rooms is a fun one).

At least there's voodoo dolls out of 9

Ridgeview Road House

Ridge is cool!

It's easy as hell but it's just nicely divvied up, it's one of those maps that benefits from having a very nice layout that leads to games feeling very different depending on the ghost room.

I like the basement, but nothing ever happens there I swear.

The first floor as a whole has some nice spots, anything on the left can be hidden away in the garage lockers (which are at the far end which makes it a little tense which is nice!)

Anything on the right is a little less safe feeling because that back room is terrible, honestly safer to run upstairs to a closet.

And finally anything upstairs is standard house affair- a ton of hiding closets and a good amount of rooms but not 9 billion rooms like Edge.

Ridge is nice. It's small, easy, and well spaced.

Strong layout out of 9

Willow Street House

Willow really is small as sin, but I dig the look a lot.

I also like how hiding is a 'behind furniture' affair unlike a lot of the other houses with their plentiful closets.

My favorite area is the basement, which sadly makes for a less than stellar photo, but I love the multiple rooms in the basement and the lighting in those rooms.

Upstairs has a very different feel from the other houses which does a lot for making it feel fresh as well, definitely the most immediate thing most will notice when playing it since Tange/Ridge/Edge all feel the same due to the aesthetic they carry.

All in all it's my favorite house right now, but I'm curious on its lasting power for that.

It definitely helps that the map is built around hiding spots instead of hiding closets because it's a lot more fun crouching behind a dryer or cutting corners to get behind a dresser than it is to just hold a door shut and know you're effectively immortal as long as you don't talk.

Between the aesthetic and the unique layout it's come this high on my list WHILE being a bit buggy from being brand new, so that says something at least.

A joy to hunt on out of 9

Bleasdale Farmhouse

One of the two farmhouses and for a while my lesser fave, but it's grown on me the more I've played it.

Bleas doesn't emphasize lockers as much as hiding behind changing 'curtain' deals and after giving it a shot, it grew on me a lot- probably my favorite form of hiding spot because you can often still see the ghost as they come right up to you and walk away.

The highlights of Bleas will always be the immensely safe back room where the breaker can spawn- there are lockers here and it makes a fairly safe cut away for most events on the first floor because most events on the first floor are in the kitchen/dining area anyway with the rest of the first floor mostly being dormant in my runs.

The terrible terrible terrible attic which I hate and love at the same time.

it has hiding spots but whenever I have to use them it's highly unlikely I make it to them in time.

It's just a terrible place to be.

And the second floor is a pretty great one tbh! Mostly because there's a nice central hiding spot and the entire area is divided up pretty nicely for ghost stuff- unless you get hallway, fuck when it's hallway. It's the WHOLE hallway as far as I can tell and that's just stupid!

Bleas is a winner for sure, definitely beats the likes of Edge with ease, there's never a dull time hiding behind the privacy curtains- oh and this map has voodoo dolls! I firmly believe all the maps need more collectibles so this one having some is a boon for sure

"We got fingerprints on all the windows in the kitchen!!!" out of 9

Prison

TIME FOR THE BEST BOY!

PRISON!!!!

How to explain it.

When I started Phasmo my least favorite maps were the bigger ones, I hated feeling lost and like the ghost took too long to find all while the houses were fast and easy to understand.

But then I tried Prison and everything changed.

Talk about a beautifully laid out big map!

The sounds, the various hotspots, the fact that it's somehow big as hell without ever feeling too big and empty- I love prison.

Gushing aside, Prison is basically split up into 3 segments.

Main building, A block, B block.

And the unfortunate truth of prison is that the Main building is where most action seems to happen... doubled down with the truth that if the ghost IS in either block then they are significantly more dangerous to occasionally unfair degrees.

Yet despite that it consistently ends up being the most fun map for me to play through!

It all comes down to layout. The main building has a lot of little 'segments' which encourage you to run during a hunt differently, and the blocks are intimidating in their own way because going upstairs in them feels like signing your will.

I'd love to say more, but it's just the most fun one, so that's that.

Best map out of 9... I heard a cell door open, let's get towards A block.

I know it's just a random post of mine and all but hey, what's your take on the maps?

I'd like to hear what some arguments for other faves might be- especially if someone is a die hard HS fan, lol.

#RetPlays #Phasmophobia

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Just about Janis: Won't tell anyone you didn't hit me up with the coveted Morning text, like Jimmy: No need when I'm there to do it in person Jimmy: Just use your imagination when you tell 'em how I woke you up Janis: 😏 Why bother when they so ready to do it themselves, like Janis: #yourinfluence obvs Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Yours is that the 🐶 won't shut up 'bout you #real love 💕 Janis: Dog, yeah? Janis: Not heard that one before Jimmy: Alright, you rumbled me, my sister too Jimmy: But what the dog's saying is nicer Janis: 😂 Janis: I did forget to invite her along, to be fair Janis: Forgetfulness gotta be catching 'cos Mia totally wanted to idk Janis: wax my bikini line or something, apparently Jimmy: I know this is fake but your dirty talk needs some work, mate Jimmy: Good to know that shit does happen at sleepovers though Janis: Grow up dickhead 🙄 Janis: probably try recreate game of thrones and pour it on my head, no thanks Janis: can't make that sexy, no matter how many dragons I add to the story, soz Jimmy: Niche reference 👍 Jimmy: I rolled up to say tah for not being a dickhead anyway Jimmy: It all went to plan Janis: You're definitely that kinda nerd, don't lie Janis: Duh Janis: 🥇 Janis: I told you Jimmy: Piss off am I Jimmy: You can't pretend that you don't know how cool I am now, Joan Janis: What, 'cos you took me to the pub I suggested Janis: Okay 😏 Jimmy: 'cause I didn't make a holy show of myself as you Irish call it Jimmy: at the pub you suggested Janis: You were alright Janis: Not too unbearable, like Jimmy: I love you too, baby 😘 Janis: 🖕 Idiot Jimmy: What you doing tonight? Jimmy: We should be seen together so people don't reckon I got what I wanted and that's it Janis: Or you were that shit I've had to ghost you Jimmy: Nobody's thinking that Janis: Alright ego 😜 Janis: but I'm up for doing something, long as it's not totally shit Jimmy: Is there like a party or something going on? Jimmy: More people the better, I reckon Janis: Undoubtedly Janis: I'll ask my cousin, not everyone he knows is a total prick Janis: up for the challenge, yeah? 💪 Jimmy: Like you said 🥇 Janis: 👍 I've hit him up, let you know the where and when Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm on a half day so don't matter Jimmy: Time to make myself look #goals Janis: Sick Janis: weren't too dead were ya? Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: You? Janis: Good Janis: 'Course not Janis: Lazy rich bitch anyway so you know Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: tah for saying it so I don't 'ave to Janis: Please, you're so gutted Jimmy: Maybe Jimmy: You'll just have to cheer me up tonight Janis: Yeah? Janis: Easy Jimmy: Easy for you to say now, yeah Jimmy: We haven't faked it for that long before Janis: Have a little faith Janis: 'less you're planning to make it hard for me or Jimmy: It'd be more fun but we've got a deal Jimmy: So don't fuck it up & I won't Janis: Fine 🙄 Jimmy: Saving your enthusiasm? 👍 Janis: Yeah Janis: basically got 16 years worth saved up, hope you're ready Jimmy: Challenge accepted, Jillian Janis: That's the worse one yet Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I won't use it when anyone can hear me, don't worry Jimmy: What's your name again though? Janis: You testing me Janis: watch me turn up looking like a bag of shit now Janis: enjoy, wanker Jimmy: Watch me 😍😍😍 even harder for it Jimmy: You're not gonna beat me, babe Janis: So am Jimmy: Like I said, easy to say now Jimmy: Harder to do when I'm chaining 🚬 to put you off Janis: 😒 I've handled worse Jimmy: I don't need your exes list, Judy Janis: Short list Janis: . Janis: like Jimmy: What? Jimmy: You only fake date Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fuck off Janis: I don't date Janis: waste of time Jimmy: Can be Janis: Is Jimmy: Pete'll be gutted Jimmy: Still, if you're as good in bed for real as you are when it's fake, decent consolation Janis: I'm sure Janis: aside from he probably fancies you more than he does me Jimmy: Me too, he's been name dropping you all shift 💕 Jimmy: Wrong again, Jennifer Janis: Lies Jimmy: I didn't know who he meant for half of it Jimmy: but yeah Janis: Brilliant Janis: Good thing he's not our target demo then isn't it Jimmy: No offense, Janis Jimmy: ain't my fault he don't know you Janis: Why would he Janis: He's like year above ain't he, idk Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: Not the one crushing on him Janis: You do keep bringing him up Janis: if you needed a beard, like Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: What do you wanna talk about then? Janis: [Party deets] Janis: There you go, can plan your outfit now Jimmy: What time do you wanna show up? Janis: Later the better, init Janis: make a scene but also, don't have to spend too much time surrounded by idiots Jimmy: You just know you can't hack faking being my girlfriend for too long Jimmy: but 👌 Janis: Bitch I can go all night Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: You'd be stretched to do an hour Janis: Bollocks Janis: When do YOU wanna go then? Jimmy: I'd go right now if they'd have me Jimmy: Better than being stuck at the CG Janis: N'awh, you really know how to make a girl feel special, babe 😘 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I'll do it tonight Jimmy: Do your best to wait patiently, Jodie Janis: 🖕 Do yours to keep up Janis: can't be too late if you gotta leave 9 though, are you sure Janis: lowkey might not even start before then Jimmy: I've sorted it with Cass Jimmy: I can be out as late as we need to get this done Janis: Didn't know it was her calling the curfew not your Da Janis: but makes sense, tbh Janis: cool then Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: He don't call any shots Jimmy: But someone's gotta look after my brother & he don't worry 'bout that either Janis: I wasn't trying to be funny about it Jimmy: Decent effort then 'cause you weren't Janis: Alright Janis: sorry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: meet there? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Let me know when Janis: k Jimmy: [Later] Jimmy: They want me to work over Jimmy: when are we going? Janis: Oh, don't worry then if it's gonna be too much hassle Jimmy: It's only a couple more hours Janis: When are you getting off now? Jimmy: 4.30 Jimmy: but I got some shit to do when I leave here Jimmy: part of Cass' bargain Janis: 👍 good girl Janis: anything i can help with or you alright Jimmy: you can get the dog out Jimmy: know you'd both love that 💕 Janis: Sure thing Janis: use the extra steps myself anyway Jimmy: Come and get my keys whenever Janis: Are the kids gonna be about Janis: they could come with, if they would Jimmy: you can ask 'em if you're feeling brave Janis: Just an idea Janis: might run off some energy lowkey exhaust the dog and them, like Jimmy: I reckon it's a good one Jimmy: They might not Janis: I'll try Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: If they're dickheads, text me Janis: Don't worry, I've got millions of cousins and shit, I know how to not get 'em killed or I wouldn't offer Jimmy: Weren't worried 'bout 'em Jimmy: Just you Janis: Oi Janis: I'm no soft-touch Jimmy: Only got your word for that, mate Janis: 😑 Janis: Proof'll be how well-trained this dog is Jimmy: You ain't got long enough for that Jimmy: I'm not fake dating you for years tah Janis: Christ no Janis: crash course, I'm that good Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: as long as you're more convincing tonight Janis: Name a time I haven't been Janis: everyone's buying it so hard Jimmy: I told you, that was lowest tier shit Jimmy: You have to pretend to like me for longer than a make out sesh Janis: I keep telling you I can, damn Janis: Can't prove it 'til we're there, can I? Jimmy: Alright, calm down Jimmy: take some pics on your walk, really milk how domestic we are Janis: Done Janis: she's very photogenic Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you can date her for real when this is over Janis: You're giving me her in the fake breakup, yeah? Janis: Cheers Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: means you gotta give me something Jimmy: get thinking Janis: can I interest you in Grace? Janis: know what you're thinking, literally defeats the point Janis: but she just looking for a new fam Janis: bitch for a bitch Jimmy: nah tah Jimmy: One sister's enough Janis: Shit Janis: I got 3 Janis: worst luck Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: violin solo for each Janis: Grace is more like a fucking triangle solo Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: I don't reckon there's an emoji for that though 💔 Janis: 🃏 Janis: really lacking on the emoji front Janis: gutted, gonna complain Jimmy: get it done, Joanne Janis: talk to twitter whilst i'm there Janis: your account not dead now? Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I ain't checked Janis: Bummer Janis: no new nudes for me 💔 Jimmy: I'll streak through the party Jimmy: make an entrance Janis: 😂 Janis: Twat Janis: There's no pretending to be 😍 over public indecency Jimmy: try harder then, dickhead Jimmy: thought you were 🥇 Janis: I don't want everyone to reckon I'm actually derranged, like Janis: be normal, Taylor Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you know, one of us has to Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon you won't be overcome with lust at the sight of me actually naked Jimmy: head in the game, girl Janis: 'Course Janis: who wouldn't be Janis: turning it into a casual orgy Jimmy: Mia maybe Jimmy: You're more her type Janis: Ugh don't Janis: idk what her problem really is Janis: 'cept she wants to wear my skin Jimmy: she's jealous Janis: Nah Janis: she's an only child and her daddy gives her everything so she's rolling in it Jimmy: but 'til he gives her money for surgery you're prettier than her Jimmy: & now you've got me so 🗡 Janis: Don't fuck her, yeah? Janis: It must be how she gets her power 'cos she's got no interest in actually being with you, she just has a list of like every boy in Dublin or some shit she's working through Jimmy: even if she has surgery, I have standards, I told you Janis: Good Janis: even if you're a bit of a prick, hate to see you go like that Janis: 🐍 eat you when she's done Jimmy: I'd rather my 🍆 stays attached to me Jimmy: more use than my head Janis: What's more #bae Janis: agree or disagree? 🤔 Jimmy: take it to a twitter poll Janis: I think they've got a bias rn though, after that pic Janis: say something dead brainy, babe Jimmy: too northern for that Jimmy: do it for me & say I did Janis: It's weird when you're #humble Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: gonna fuck with you when you find out that's the real me Janis: Coulda kept that in the vault, I'd never know Jimmy: Like I said, you'd find out Janis: You not planning on deleting me when this is all over then? Jimmy: Probably but there's still this thing called IRL Jimmy: Can't bin school off yet Janis: Oh, where I'm at my most social, 'course Janis: you barely knew I existed 'til now I think we'll be fine 😏 Jimmy: Don't be gutted Jimmy: I know your name now & everything Janis: Yeah was so sat there praying for the day Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: what are you actually gonna wear Janis: not saying we should be THAT fake couple and co-ord but Jimmy: hadn't given it any real thought Jimmy: what's the party dress code in leprechaun land? Janis: depends who you are and who they are Janis: don't wanna be try hard Janis: probably can't show up in my gym clothes, though Jimmy: who am I & who are they, babe? Janis: you know who you are Janis: leather jackets ain't just for your baes, obviously Janis: idk who this kid is exactly but he lives in a normal neighbourhood so he's not like dead posh or anything Jimmy: there's your answer then Jimmy: easy 😍 Jimmy: only challenge is me finding the place Janis: I better hang about then after I've walked the dog Janis: probably more #goals to go together anyway Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: smoothie? Jimmy: You should eat so you don't get dead drunk again Janis: 'Scuse me Janis: I was not Jimmy: You were Jimmy: & don't bring a jacket so you can wear mine that's gotta be #goals Janis: Just mad it went unnoticed that I was in the dog walking 'gram Janis: too 💕 for them all, baby Jimmy: just don't get as pissed tonight Jimmy: you might let everyone know how you really feel Janis: You ain't my Dad Jimmy: Nah, I'm your fake boyfriend & I'd like it if you didn't out us Jimmy: that's it Janis: I'm not going to because I wasn't even drunk and I won't be tonight Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you're gonna chat shit, I've got work to do Janis: I don't wanna chat to you anyway if you're gonna be shady Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Shady? Am I also slim 😂 Jimmy: top lingo, Janet Janis: 😒 you are that white Jimmy: take it up with my dad Janis: When can we have our first fake fight 'cos you're asking for it today, like Jimmy: a bit soon unless you wanna do a really hot makeup makeout Janis: Who'd want that? Janis: Shame Jimmy: the fans Janis: True Janis: but you said I've gotta show I can stand you when you ain't rocking my world so Jimmy: & you've gotta show you want me too more than just a once off Janis: Don't want much, do ya? Jimmy: It ain't about what I want Janis: You know what I mean Jimmy: I know you keep saying you'll do this easy Jimmy: So stop whinging Janis: I ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you liked whelan's then, yeah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'll probably go back Janis: good Janis: i knew you would, it's alright Jimmy: seeing as you know me so well you can find me a real girl to date when this is over Janis: ha Janis: jog on Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: it'd be a laugh to see who you'd pick if nowt else Janis: not a dyke, remember? Jimmy: didn't say you had to join in with us, did I? Janis: shut up Janis: what do i know about girls Janis: not a real one, am i Jimmy: what do you reckon you are then? My dream Jimmy: Piss off Janis: don't be stupid Jimmy: you're real Janis: You said it, not me Jimmy: What? Janis: 'you can find me a real girl to date' Jimmy: I meant a girl to not fake date Janis: whatever Jimmy: come on, Janis Janis: don't matter Janis: forget it Jimmy: don't wanna Janis: don't be a dick Janis: if you didn't mean it you didn't Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: So don't you be a dickhead Janis: What the fuck have I done? Jimmy: acting shady Jimmy: to use your top lingo Janis: 😑 you clearly don't know what that means Jimmy: nah I don't Jimmy: it's bollocks Jimmy: reckon you made it up just then Janis: not that deep undercover than we need our own language Jimmy: good 'cause I ain't sure I'd keep up Jimmy: proper cryptic you Irish Janis: 🖕 Janis: how's that for cryptic? Janis: gobshite Jimmy: 😂 Janis: I'm not finding you a girlfriend Janis: Ruin your own life Jimmy: Alright, leave me to my own devices so I can find another girl who prefers old blokes Jimmy: on your head Janis: If it keeps you from becoming a baby daddy, aren't I doing you/the world a massive service, really, like Jimmy: if that keeps you warm, mate, tell yourself it Jimmy: I'll be shivering 'cause left out in the cold 🎻 Janis: Catch me and Pete laughing at you whilst we fuck on a huge pile of money in our mcmansion Janis: #thedream Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I've seen him concentrating when he makes a latte I don't need to think about his face when he's going at it Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: get in his inbox to live that dream Janis: Can't be having my fake mans and real in the same place Janis: mixing business and pleasure always a no Jimmy: he won't say owt Jimmy: tell him you're down to cheat Janis: thanks for your permission 😂 Jimmy: don't care, do I? Jimmy: just keep it off the 'gram Janis: You might have endless faith in him but I don't Janis: everyone knows everyone's business around here 🙄 Jimmy: if you cheat I ain't lost owt Jimmy: go on Jimmy: save me a break up Janis: I don't think so Janis: I get to come out of this looking good, that was part of the deal Jimmy: We can change it easy Jimmy: & anyway who says pete ain't a trade up Janis: Nah Janis: Deal's a deal, I'm sticking to my side of it Jimmy: You've done it Jimmy: been proven those girls ain't my type Janis: If that was true we wouldn't be going tonight Janis: we ain't done here Jimmy: we ain't done for you Jimmy: but if you reckon you've got a better offer, take it Janis: Don't use this as an excuse Janis: you know I don't Jimmy: an excuse for what? Janis: For not wanting to help me out now we've sorted your side of it out Jimmy: I've said I'll do it Jimmy: like I said, not about what I want Janis: I know you don't want it alright Janis: it doesn't have to be much longer Jimmy: just don't fuck Pete Jimmy: I still have to work with him Jimmy: & I don't want the pisstake Janis: I'm not going to Janis: I've literally not spoken to him before Jimmy: then don't speak to him Janis: Um bit far, am I only allowed to order smoothies from you? Jimmy: CG isn't the only shit coffee shop around Jimmy: why come in after this? Janis: so I'm banned now, jesus Janis: fine Janis: I don't even drink coffee Jimmy: I can't ban you Jimmy: not the manager Janis: but you would if you could? Janis: well that's lovely Jimmy: so you would come in for coffee & a chat after I've fake dumped you? 👌 Janis: You're actually such a prick Janis: 1. I'M dumping YOU Janis: 2. You were actually serious that you're gonna delete me? Avoid me forever too? Very mature Jimmy: I'm gonna delete everyone Jimmy: not just you Jimmy: why do you care? like you said, didn't know each other existed before Janis: You're gonna have no friends, whole time you're here then Jimmy: hopefully Jimmy: what you're offering now, are you? Janis: no one good enough for you, yeah? Janis: not now I know Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you were the one warning me not to turn into 'em like a day ago Jimmy: didn't realise the real you was a cheerleader of leprechaun town Janis: Piss off Jimmy: that's the plan Jimmy: wear the uniform tonight though, the fans will love it Janis: It's going to take you ages you may as well try and tolerate it whilst you're here Jimmy: You don't have to outdo my dad on the fatherly advice Jimmy: not part of the deal Janis: Exactly, you're not gonna leave your brother and sister here Janis: so it's years, not months Jimmy: that's assuming any of us are gonna stay here Jimmy: he keeps jobs slightly longer than girlfriends but don't go mad, like Janis: Yeah great, hinge your masterplan on his lack of Janis: I hope it all works out for you, really Jimmy: I don't need a masterplan this is my real life not a fake dating plot Janis: Fuck you Janis: Act like it then, you live here right now, get over it Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You've lived here longer Jimmy: where's your friends? Janis: What's it matter 'bout me? Jimmy: you're dishing it out like I gotta be living my best life Jimmy: sort yours Janis: Again, this isn't about me Janis: you're not me Jimmy: & you ain't me, sweetheart Jimmy: you don't know what I want so don't tell me Janis: Don't fucking talk to me like that Jimmy: likewise Janis: Fine, be miserable Janis: like you said, why do I care Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Fuck me knowing what you want, I hope you work it out Jimmy: I have Janis: Good for you Jimmy: dead patronising you Jimmy: Love that Janis: I'm not the one throwing out sweethearts like it's the 70s Jimmy: Nah, you're just the one judging me when all you know is my name basically Jimmy: starting to see your sister's POV now Jimmy: bit of a nightmare, aren't you? Janis: Go fuck her then Jimmy: I don't want to Jimmy: but tah for the permission Janis: Literally drop dead Janis: I never once judged you and it's fucking rich you taking issue when all you do is judge everyone here all the time Jimmy: just 'cause you're a girl don't mean you can talk me like that & then tell me how to talk to you Janis: like what Janis: you talk to me like a piece of shit Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: Great Janis: Bye Jimmy: not bye, see you in a bit Jimmy: unless you're bailing Janis: you reckon i'm in the party mood Janis: really Jimmy: not what I asked Jimmy: don't matter how you really feel, does it? Janis: you're a sociopath, awesome Jimmy: no idea Jimmy: but alright fuck the party, don't bother me Janis: nah, 'course, nothing does Jimmy: nowt that's any of your business Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'll still walk the dog it isn't her fault Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: you'll still need the keys Jimmy: won't throw 'em at you not very #goals Janis: I don't care anymore Janis: who am I impressing, like you said Jimmy: when? Janis: You know Janis: I've got no friends, I'm a nightmare Janis: 🎻 Janis: the list goes on Jimmy: that's not what they're seeing Jimmy: just me 🎻 Jimmy: you've impressed everyone else Janis: Please Janis: you're so smart now Jimmy: It don't take much Janis: Exactly Janis: Jig is probably up Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: you know it's working Janis: Yeah not now I hate you Jimmy: you didn't love me before Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: call it off Janis: I'm not coming out of this like this Janis: you don't have to see me Janis: I'll make it work myself Jimmy: 👌 Janis: just tell me how you wanna sound Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: do it how you want Janis: is it wise to give me such free reign Janis: nightmare i am Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: don't matter Janis: You reckon I shouldn't care? Jimmy: I'm saying I don't Janis: No one's judging you anyway Jimmy: feel free to change that Janis: I'm not that much of a bitch Janis: thanks Jimmy: not on the 'gram anyway Janis: Fuck you Janis: I was being nice Jimmy: 'til I told you not to fuck Pete Jimmy: If I knew that was the dealbreaker I wouldn't have said nowt Janis: No, 'til you asked me to find you a girlfriend, called me not a girl Janis: then fucking agreed with my sister Jimmy: I told you, I never said you weren't a girl Jimmy: & I weren't serious about the girlfriend thing Janis: Whatever Janis: I don't even know if that's his name so it isn't about that Jimmy: alright Janis: It ain't alright Janis: I wasn't serious either you didn't have to take it like that and make it into this thing Jimmy: I seriously don't want you to fuck my co-workers Jimmy: that's all I said Janis: I'm not going to! Janis: I don't even want to Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: don't matter now Janis: Why not Jimmy: 'cause this is finished Jimmy: we don't need to keep chatting 'bout it Janis: Why is it a problem if I'm not gonna do it Jimmy: it ain't Janis: Then stop being a dick Jimmy: You stop being a dick Janis: dickhead Jimmy: You're the dickhead Janis: Oh my God Janis: stop Jimmy: just break it off Jimmy: I've got work to do Janis: Come on Janis: you're really dedicated now you don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: why would I? Jimmy: if we aren't going to the party what is there to chat about? Janis: well we could Janis: but fine Jimmy: you don't wanna either Jimmy: you hate me now, remember? Janis: Well you never liked me apparently so can't be offended Jimmy: yeah I can Janis: It's not fair, that's bullshit Jimmy: you hating me is not the same as me not knowing you Janis: maybe i'm being slightly dramatic Jimmy: go for it Jimmy: like I said, don't matter Janis: No Janis: Shut up being annoying Janis: let's go to the party Jimmy: I don't reckon that's a good idea Janis: Why not Jimmy: not in the running for an oscar, are we? Janis: alright Janis: i'll go by myself i guess Jimmy: that's a worse idea Jimmy: get it together, Jasmine Janis: Why? Jimmy: You're a pisshead & you need me Janis: 😑 Janis: well then you have to come Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: when? Janis: Whenever you've done what you've gotta do at Home Janis: I'm already on the bus to get the keys Jimmy: I just have to get the bribes in Jimmy: come with Jimmy: we can get drinks for the party or whatever Janis: I get it, all the sugar Janis: alright Janis: just don't try to palm me off with alcopops Jimmy: piss off would I Jimmy: I don't hate you Janis: tah 😏 you do reckon I can't handle my drink though Janis: which is just untrue Jimmy: you couldn't Jimmy: that's all I've got to go off Jimmy: prove me wrong tonight if you're that mad 'bout it Janis: What did I do? Janis: because I have evidence of YOU licking MY face, thanks snapchat Jimmy: FOR snapchat Jimmy: you were being nice to me when the camera weren't on Janis: How dare I 🙄 Janis: make it sound like I was tryna jump you Jimmy: nowt like that Jimmy: you were just Jimmy: fuck knows, mate Janis: ominous Janis: maybe i won't drink Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: challenge turned down? 👌 Janis: 😠 No Janis: you got me paranoid now though Jimmy: not trying to get in your head so I'll win or owt Jimmy: nah Janis: 😒 Jimmy: for real though that weren't how I wanted that to sound Jimmy: it was fun Jimmy: you weren't a total dickhead like usual, that's it Janis: so what you're really saying is Janis: I should make a habit of it? Janis: cool Janis: I thought you meant I was white girl wasted then I'd have to kms, obviously Jimmy: I'm saying if I were gonna hate you, I couldn't then 'cause you were alright Jimmy: calm down Janis: Awh babe Jimmy: what the fuck is white girl wasted? Janis: If Gracie or any of her mates are at this party, hopefully not, you'll get to see Janis: the girls who are screaming 'this is my song!' to every other shit song Janis: and lose their shoes and shit and end up sobbing hysterically on a poor bouncer or something Jimmy: that don't exist up north, lasses drink like lads Jimmy: I'll have to take you Jimmy: learn something, Jemima Janis: you can't say the north has a better drinking culture than ireland Janis: that's literally all we're known for excuse you Jimmy: I reckon I just did Jimmy: am I gonna get cursed now? Janis: Think you're gonna get deported so you'll be buzzin' on that Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: they aren't gonna be at the party are they? Janis: Nah, would've seen all the annoying getting ready and pre-drinks stories by now Jimmy: thank feck as you 🍀 say Jimmy: fun as it'd be to get that angry vein going in Mia's head again Janis: Please never say that again but do 'cos I wanna hear wtf it'd sound like in your accent 😂 Janis: she's DYING for round two Jimmy: I'll whisper it in your ear later if you pretend I'm saying something #goals Janis: Deal Jimmy: Just don't piss yourself laughing I don't need everyone reckoning my chat is that bad Janis: 🎭 Janis: I'll be so into it it'll be awkward for everyone else Janis: 💪 Jimmy: yeah alright Jane fonda just try & look like you're dying for round two 😍💕 Jimmy: maybe there'll be a room we can fake fuck in Janis: What are house parties for Janis: besides easier underage drinking, obviously Jimmy: as long as Mia ain't there to listen at the door Janis: I refuse to fake an orgasm for her the cunt you'd have to actually just fuck me Jimmy: I'll just take you home if she shows up Jimmy: pretend like I'm anti-fucking in strangers houses Jimmy: like its a northern thing or summat Janis: 😂 Polite, very anti-you Janis: but it works Jimmy: there's only so much convincing fakery I could let you do before it'd just sound hot Jimmy: not part of the deal for me to be into it Janis: Yeah Janis: Only human Jimmy: 🐍 quota in these parts is full Janis: Truly Janis: Don't tell Paddy, he'll be fuming Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: better get more smokes if you're sharing Jimmy: remind me Janis: Should get my own, least pay you half Jimmy: call it my being a dickhead tax Jimmy: besides, people were into it Jimmy: new #goals Janis: You make it look good Janis: no one needs to know you get out of breath on a dog walk Jimmy: you give then you take away Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: next time tweet the first bit & leave off the second Janis: I already did that story, no caption necessary Janis: can't have you thinking I'm too nice again and going weird on me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: Are we meant to do getting ready snaps or are you not white enough? Janis: God no Janis: 'less we're being all extra about how much we don't wanna leave bed, like Jimmy: we could Jimmy: I zip up your...dress? but you take off my shirt Jimmy: make it sexy Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 😂 Janis: this is just going to get confusing Janis: end up leaving half undressed but not in the intentional way Jimmy: no then? Janis: nah, we can Janis: means having to take less there so we can lowkey have a decent time still Jimmy: almost like you now Jimmy: 'cause that's a top plan Janis: Gimme time Janis: not a fan of almosts like go all in and hate me or you know Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: what are you wearing not heavy breathing way? Jimmy: in a* Janis: Thanks for clarifying Janis: I put a few options in my bag, I'd ask a girl but you know Janis: You'll have to do Jimmy: I am out of breath but 🚬 not burning desire Jimmy: piss off I'm better Jimmy: I'll tell you what looks hot Jimmy: 😍 not bitchy side eye Janis: #truelove Janis: #lastsalifetime #inyourlungs Janis: Good, can always get that from your sister if I'm missing it Jimmy: You're getting too decent at #s gonna have to dump you 💔 Janis: #damn Jimmy: Stop Janis: #gonnamissmewhenimgone Jimmy: #Janis please Jimmy: if you make me laugh I could keel over 🚬 remember Janis: When bae calls you a health risk 😍 Jimmy: #goals right Jimmy: love you so much its gonna kill me Janis: mhmm Janis: i told ya, just got the organ wrong Janis: no 💔 going for the lungs Jimmy: just leave my 🍆 out of it & like my head I ain't too concerned Jimmy: least I got a pair of lungs Janis: are you saying i have 🍆 envy Janis: cos that's even older than the dyke line tbh i expect better from you Jimmy: let me know when I streak through the party Janis: 😂 Janis: Will do Jimmy: don't say nowt if you don't 'cause 💔 Jimmy: it ain't my party to cry at Janis: Poor boy Janis: Just tryna seem nonchalant 'cos already meant to have seen it, duh Jimmy: try & seem 😍 like you can't get enough of it though Jimmy: tah very much Janis: Okay you want drooling Janis: got it Jimmy: if you can Janis: Don't doubt me, just your ability to bring it Janis: kinda cold Jimmy: where I'm from this is summer temps Jimmy: don't worry 'bout me, girl Janis: Then we won't have a problem Jimmy: nah Jimmy: & if anyone asks, I'm thinking 'bout you #muse Janis: I think they'll have more pressing questions Janis: like, what the fuck? Jimmy: that's how it is in 🍀 Jimmy: boring feckers Janis: 😂 Janis: maybe after you've been there and had a few Jimmy: I won't find them boring? Jimmy: or I will Janis: saying you taking your kit off would be craic and not a sign of something wrong Janis: they'll still be pretty dry Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: can I leave here yet? it's rivaling in the boredom stakes Jimmy: come back Mia, some mildly annoying shit you've done is forgiven Jimmy: nowt else Janis: Shh Janis: come meet me off bus Janis: #romance Jimmy: alright Jimmy: you sold it to me Janis: 💕 Soft Jimmy: give me the kiss of life if I look like I'm going Jimmy: 'cause you know I'll 🚬 & walk Janis: 😏 Janis: Giving the OAPs on here a show Jimmy: love our new audience 💕 Janis: always a bitchy one though, i 👀 you grandmia Jimmy: probably is her nan Jimmy: does she have a face like 🍋 Janis: Chewing wasps forreal Janis: though I think Mia just rose up from the pits of hell by herself so Jimmy: get her number for my ex Janis: 😂 Janis: so thoughtful Jimmy: her status updates have been harrowing mate Jimmy: reckon Barry's playing away 💔🎻 Janis: Oh no Janis: typical Barry move Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: near end of life crisis Janis: Stop making me laugh I'm getting looks Jimmy: payback for before when you near ended my life Jimmy: could be worse least I'm not turning you on with the mention of him Janis: War flashbacks, like Jimmy: you got it, JoJo Janis: 💔 Janis: I don't get it but you do you Janis: true love and all that, I guess Jimmy: You don't get wanting to fuck an old bloke? Jimmy: Me either Janis: 😏 OMG we get it, you're straight Janis: it's me they got the questions about, not you Jimmy: so far Jimmy: but Pete is gonna need consoling for his 💔 Janis: 🙄 don't drag me into this Janis: find yourself a girl and him a mans Jimmy: so nah to the threesome? 👌 I'll let him know Janis: You don't wanna see his cum face Jimmy: I'll look at the back of his head Janis: Alright, glad you've worked out the logistics Janis: be rude to make him stay under the pillow Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in or out? Janis: whey Janis: long as it don't count 'cos threeways don't Jimmy: 'course Janis: 👍 Jimmy: #romance Janis: you know it Janis: real test faking it to that level, no matter how thick he is Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: we've got this baby 💕 Janis: Poor Pete Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: you see me yet? Janis: Hold on, lemme try and remember what you look like Jimmy: You ain't that good at faking it, Justine Jimmy: #unforgettable Janis: You'll be huffy when you find me chatting to the wrong white boy Jimmy: Nah I'll just smack him Jimmy: #goals like Janis: 😏 Janis: There you are Jimmy: 😘

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