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#i really really like being by myself and doing my own thing but it also just makes me be in my own head way too much
bunnwich · 12 hours
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It's Supposed to Be Fun
(a letter to my friends in the twst fandom)
I've been wanting to make this post for a while and these thoughts may seem scattered but I’m gonna try to express them. 
Lately, I have seen many friends and moots that either are leaving the fandom or feel guilty over not having posted in a while or losing interest in twst. On the other side, I also have friends being harassed.
This a reminder to remember why you joined this community to begin with. I know that keeping up with the fast-moving pace of fandom and comparing ourselves to others, can skew our perspective on these things.
It’s supposed to be fun. 
Why do we post art or write? Sure, partly for recognition, there's no denying that. But, why do we create, I mean really? For enjoyment. Not for others, not to be “popular” FOR JOY.
So, whether you’re dealing with people critiquing you or feeling guilty about not creating. My question is this: Why waste so much of your time on something that makes you miserable?
Did it stop being fun? Why? Haters? Loss of interest?
To my friends who feel guilty for not creating and not sure if they lost interest in twst: 
Don’t feel guilty. At one time, the creation of your twst content was natural. It's what you did for fun with friends or for yourself. Revisit that mindset and think - if creating twst content now will bring that same joy it did before.
If the answer is no, then maybe it’s time to pivot. It’s okay for interests to fade. It doesn’t mean that time, memories, or the friends you made are lost. Connect with your friends, we will understand! We still love you! It's not a race there's no time limit, just pick up were you want to. Draw fanart of old events or OCs.
To my friends who have been harassed: 
I say this with sincerity…. People who harass others over fictional characters are fucking losers.
Like… There’s no other eloquent way to encapsulate it. I’m starting to not care for the reason anymore - If you harass or be shady to others over a ship or fictional character. CONGRATS! YOU ARE A LOSER.
We all join fandoms as a hobby, for fun. We’re all just kids in the sandbox playing pretend again… and if you are the type of person to go up just to “kick the doll out of someone’s hand" or make commentary on how “their way of playing is wrong." You’re a loser. I have a life outside of twst, we all do. Someone saying my ship is wrong or cringe is just so laughable to me. We have to make fun of these people more for being so goddamn lame.
Imagine being so unhappy that when you see someone having fun you HAVE to comment on it. By all means, if it gets you through the day...talk shit to close friends or even post about it on your own blog. (THAT WAS ALWAYS ALLOWED.) Don't bother creators directly. Don't be a loser. I sure see tolerance leave people’s bodies when they see a fandom opinion they don't like. (And this is coming from someone who has lots of opinions on these things! But that's why I always put the disclaimers that, hey this is just MY opinion.)
Discussion is one thing, unhelpful comments are another. We shouldn’t give these people the time of day. Curate your online space. Yes, when you post things online you are subjecting yourself to scrutiny. But, we as creators need to stop letting these people have power over us. Period. We do this for free!! FOR FUN. The best thing you can do is create shamelessly.
Delete weird replies, block whoever you need to do to rid yourself of these people who have nothing better to do. Keep your peace. It’s supposed to be for fun. You don’t owe anyone a response.
The twst fandom is like a little family to me and I guess I feel protective over the people in it?  I have made many friends and memories because I joined it. And even dispite a handful of the negative experiences (AKA: A couple of “losers" that I’ve had to deal with.) I’ll always look fondly back on this time.
The key for me has always been to just…create for myself. I originally made bunnwich for me and one friend to make fun little arts about our Yuu’s and now I get to have lots of friends to share it with! I’ve transitioned from an OC blog to probably more of an Oc x Canon blog…but I don’t care tbh. I just…draw what I feel like. I know there are people who probably dislike me for that or feel strange about my content and that’s fine. I’m still gonna keep drawing it, loser.  
And I just want you guys to do the same, twst or not.
I can’t forget that all my followers and friends are a bonus, if I had never joined tumblr I’d still be drawing the silly shit I draw in peace. And while yes, I do want to grow as an artist and sell more merch and keep growing... I can’t forget my initial excitement for this silly little game. I like to talk about it. I like to write about it. It inspires me.
It’s supposed to be fun. Please remember that. I know it can be discouraging to have others being shitty to you. Or going through a creative drought. But, try not to let this stop you from creating what you love.
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Physically Unable To Love
Jiyan x Reader
Notes: Reader based off of oc (written with reader inserts), gn reader, they/them used, gnc Rover (uses any pronoun), Chixia being the worst wingwoman, extreme romantic pining, unresolved feelings, possible ooc Chixia (I'm going off of vibes from what I've played)
Yet again this man has invaded my head and so I shall write more. Also title is more dramatic then what's actually written lmao.
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"Come on! It can't be that hard to just ask him on a date!" Chixia exclaimed, frustration evident on her features as she stared at the person across from her. "The worst he can say is no, [Y/n]!"
"And that's the problem! I can't handle a no!" They yelled back, keeping their hands gripping their hair. "I'm self aware enough to know that! It's better if I just get over-"
"Oh hey there he is." Rover casually announced, looking over in the direction of where the general was. [Y/n] was quick to slam their head into the table, cursing as the pain flooded their system.
"Now's your chance!"
"Chixia no-"
"Hey General!! Over here!! We have room if you need a table to sit at!" The redhead called out excitedly, gaining the attention of the man. He carefully walks over, studying [Y/n] who refused to put their head up in greeting.
"Sorry if I'm barging in."
"Not at all." Rover quickly replied, nudging his elbow into [Y/n]'s side. They hissed, glaring at them before sighing as they lifted their head to meet Jiyan's eyes.
"You're fine, General."
"You alright? Are you having one of those moments again?" He asked, sitting down across from them. His eyes studied their tense muscles, brows furrowed in concern. "If you want I can-"
"I'm fine!" [Y/n] interrupted, raising their voice a bit. They flinched once they felt eyes of the other patrons on them, gently resting their head on the table again. "You don't need to do that thing again."
"That thing again?" Both Chixia and Rover asked, their eyes moving back and forth between the two. [Y/n]'s cheeks burned at the memory, practically being cuddled by the general when they grew overwhelmed one evening. They didn't want to remember it, for it only made their heartbeat even more rapid around the man.
"Anyway!" They quickly said, moving the conversation along. "It's a rarity to see you in the city Jiyan! Means times are a bit more peaceful huh?"
"Yes, there's not as many Tacet Discords showing up lately. It's good for the soldiers morale too, since many weren't able to see their families during the threat of the Threnodian's rewakening." The conversation then drifted off, with [Y/n] barely interacting with Jiyan. Chixia and Rover both tried to make them join, but it was to no avail. After some time the general said his farewells and left the group.
"What was that?!" Chixia yelled. "You literally only talked to him like once!"
"Well sorry! Once the food got brought in I suddenly grew overwhelmed!"
"What she means," Rover began, placing her hand on the redhead's. "Is that we just want to help with you-"
"Look I just can't!" They screamed, slamming their hands on tbe table. They flinched once everyone around them grew quiet, sitting back down. "It's not that simple guys. I just...I'm not ready to hear a rejection okay?"
"And what makes you so sure it will be a rejection?" The dark haired person asked, raising his eyebrow.
"Because why wouldn't it be? Even if it's not because he doesn't see me in that way, which he totally doesn't by the way, it's because he's too busy with being a general. I know he would just see himself as a burden like I do with myself and think a rejection is better than a potentially dead partner!"
The two look at them in silence, digesting their words.
"You really thought about it that much?" Chixia asked softly, narrowing her eyes in concern. "I mean I'm sure-"
"I know you're trying to help, but please. Just let me...get over it. It's better than experiencing heartbreak. Besides I have my own as to why I can't be in a relationship." [Y/n] smiled sadly. "I have to find some way back home to my world after all."
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ldpdlvision · 2 days
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How upsetting it is that some make polarizing posts about a specific character, leading others to believe falsely on what's actually going on - just me getting out frustrations I had watching this ep, that had little to do with the actual episode -- S2 E4 SPOILERS!!
First, before I go any further, I did this to myself. I knew better and yet still managed to do exactly this... I purposely went looking for Spoilers here for this new ep. Because I was about ready to claw my own skin off just trying to wait. And came across, not surprisingly, MANY posts from viewers who were able to access the episode early, basically being very disingenuous about Claudia in this ep. And about the circumstance they're BOTH in, as a whole. Alot of prior information left out and extenuating circumstance was essentially disregarded, in order to get to specific viewpoints behind these posts. Point being clearly to put all the blame of everything (seemingly) on Louis and none of Claudia herself. Actively taking away her agency completely, in order to eliminate any responsibility or fault for her own choices in her own life.
-- Anyone can perceive things however they want, think however they want, and post whatever, however they want. I'm not saying they can't, and that's not the point of this post.
The point of this post is that somehow, given everything we were shown/given in this episode, and all previous episodes this season. Some have still managed to make Louis persona non grata and the main one to "blame" for what's currently happening to Claudia... So seeing these posts, I went into the episode with an impression and expectation of certain things, that turned out to be just wildly false. And it distracted me from really being able to enjoy the episode, as I would've otherwise.
Basically because I could not stop thinking things like "they made it seem like this, but that's clearly not what happened", etc.
And like I said, I did it to myself, but this is a post I wanted to make for myself and for others that may have felt this same way, or had this same experience, or a similar one.
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Again, S2 E4 (or S2 E11) SPOILERS!!!! Put under the cut, for those who haven't been able to watch the episode yet, and don't want any spoilers. Because there will be discussion and descriptions, about what happens in the episode. Including some gifs and possibly pictures.
So I, have been running into so much Claudia apologist posts and polarizing viewpoints, after seemingly every episode. That are only seeming to get more prevalent. And that in itself is not a/the problem. While I will not hesitate to read Louis to absolute filth, I certainly can very much be a Louis apologist. So I genuinely believe there's absolutely nothing wrong with having a favorite character, or even, watching this series primarily for one character. But what has me so sideways lately, is that it so often comes at the expense and degradation, of Louis specifically. More often then not, Louis is basically treated like a "whipping boy" or a punching bad, seemingly just to allow compassion or sympathy for Claudia. And seeing as how that's also what's happening to him WITHIN the show itself, by Claudia, as well as others. I'm frankly tired of seeing it. And want to add back in the extra parts and info that was left out. So that maybe, we can collectively have a little more of an UNALTERED picture. Of what's going on. Maybe just maybe we can remember that Louis as a character also deserves to be analyzed and understood, and deserves the same compassion and empathy and sympathy that she gets. Maybe, we can all remember that Louis himself is not just a plot device or a prop for her character, and maybe not EVERY single thing that happens in this show, is about her.
So first up, the way Claudia is being treated and the abuse that she's going through, with this coven and coven master...
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So many people are pinning the "cause" and responsibility of this, solely on Louis. And it's simply not true, and it's unfair. And does a disservice to both characters, and the story as a whole. Especially Claudia.
First off, what Claudia is going through, is bullshit. Plain and simple, it's horrible and it's hard to watch. And that can't be argued or excused. But nor can all the extenuating circumstances be ignored, disregarded, hidden or deleted/removed/redacted.
Claudia is in this situation, right now, because of HER choices. Not Louis'
I know it's hard to hear, I know it's going to ruffle some feathers, but there it is. He is not without any blame or responsibility whatsoever, but she is not completely innocent of responsibility of her own circumstance. Contrary to what she and certain fans/viewers try to make a case for. His messing around with Armand is not the cause of this, and is not responsible for this. Now... I am not in any way trying to say that she asked for, wanted or "deserved" how she's being treated. Because it's not even close to being true, and no one asks to be abused. And no one deserves to be treated like this. But just like the skater who breaks his ankle doing a trick, he was warned not to even attempt... Decisions/choices and actions have consequences.
What's happening to Claudia is unfortunately the consequences and outcome of her own decisions. The responsibility of, is hers alone. And that includes her repeated choice to disregard, ignore, overlook and refusal to accept the warning signs, red flags and cautionary advice. Louis does not have agency over her, nor should he. He doesn't not make her decisions and choices for her, again nor should he.
-- Again, before I continue, in saying this I am in no way implying or saying that I'm unable to understand her reasons and excuses. And I am in no way saying they aren't valid. They are, and it's very easy to understand and sympathize with the "why". That's not a debate or argument, and that's also not the point of this post. The point is that she made these decisions, she did. And with all the reasons for them being very much valid, she still made them herself. No one else made them for her, in fact she was warned against making them, and made them anyways. So the responsibly of her decisions can not and should not be given to or placed on anyone else but her. The outcome of her choices, should not be blamed on anyone but her. Now she's not even close to the only one making bad choices, bad decisions or messing up royally here. But the simple fact is the outcome of her bad choices and bad decisions should not be put on Louis, or anyone else.
First up, and the most prominent one: Joining this coven, and becoming an officially member. Through ceremony and blood pact.
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Keep in mind that she was read the Vampire "laws" that she swore upon before becoming a member, to never break or else be subject to punishment. Up to and including Death, the right and responsibility of which being that of the coven master. Aka Armand Pin this because it will come back later.
This is something she chose, it was not forced on her. She actively fought for it. In complete disregard, to; anything Louis had to say, how it may affect Louis, any prior warnings, etc. She wanted this, she felt she needed this, she was desperate for it, and that's all the mattered to her... The point is not to argue the defense of her, I can actually defend her better than most. The point is simply that it cannot be argued that this is something she CHOSE. And something that she willingly accepted outright abuse, hazing, degradation and all around poor treatment for. She accepted it, her choice... It was made very clear, in more than one way, that becoming a member of this coven was to willingly subject yourself to the control and governing will of the coven master; Armand. That what he said, and decided was law. That you would no longer and could no longer be for yourself, but instead you were for the coven. And subject to EVERYTHING that every other member is. Actively give up the right to go where you want, do what you want, even be what you want, or be with who you want. That was made clear, before she agreed to become a member.
And she still made the agreement to essentially sign in blood on the dotted line. (the point is not WHY she "signed" but that SHE signed)
Louis on the other hand, actively does not choose to subject himself to any of it, so what does he do. Refuse to become a member. She had that choice, she chose otherwise. So again, that is something that cannot be simply disregarded.
SHE. CHOSE.
Her choice should not be put on him, in any way shape or form... A very bad choice, that immediately bit her in the ass. But a choice that no one can take responsibility for, but her.
And some try to make the case, that if she knew that Armand knew their "secret" she wouldn't have become a member, she would have "packed up and left". And to that I say,
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She knew the danger, and the risk. Louis' very first argument was "what if they find out we killed him", "it's not worth the risk", "it's too dangerous". He said point blank, that they'll be killed for it. He warned her, that that's the risk she's taking if she really wants to do this.
And what was her response. She made the decision anyways. Because she was convinced, based on absolutely nothing (other than her thinking that she's smarter and simply "above" everyone else). And not only that, she then attacked him (verbal insults, patronizing, belittling, mocking, etc) for even attempting to dissuade from her choice. So many people try to make the claim that he's "allowing" this to happen, he's allowing her to do this, or not stopping 'that'. He DOES NOT HAVE AGENCY OVER HER, AND HE SHOULDN'T.
And this kind of stuff is what he gets for even trying to get her to see any kind of reason:
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She finished it with demanding that he not "ruin" this, for her. That she needs this, etc. So where in any part of this, or the other times Louis tried... are we the viewer, or Louis meant to believe that literally anything he said or did, would change her mind in the slightest.
So that argument and attempt to pin it on Louis just doesn't hold up.
I digress... back to the clear acceptance of subjecting herself to Armans control. As a coven master. The rules are very plain and simple to understand. And she was shown, or told on two different accounts, that Armands literal job is to "punish" coven members for breaking the rules. His job is to keep control of every member, in "protection" of the coven as a whole, but also of each individual member. Santiago told her that his own maker was downstairs for breaking a rule, Armand put him there. Something she was told again, in this episode... She was told by the one Vampire guy I can't remember the name of, who taught her about the wet room... that if she messes up her task and the rats got out, the entire coven would be punished. She experienced Armand exerting his control and status over her, directly; "did I give you permission to look me in the eyes puce", before she was even a member. And still she made the decision, still she accepted all of it. All to get what she wanted, which was to become an official member.
She knew prior, that becoming a member meant she was subject to this if she became an official. Still she chose to become one. No one forced her, no one hid that from her. The reality of it was in plain sight, for everyone to see. So no one can say she didn't know.
Next up is, she was told the rules/laws. She not only agreed to having full knowledge of them, but also agreed to being subject to said rules/laws. Again accepting the penalty of breaking them, being up to and including death. And she accepted that. And still chose to become a member anyways...
The rest will be moved to a part 2 post, that I will come back and put the link in to, below:
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bearhugsandshrugs · 2 days
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Hey, what is this change in Raphael fanon you’re referring to? I think I noticed the same thing, but I wanted to make sure. Please don’t feel pressured to answer if you’re not comfortable with the question 🫶
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I really liked your take on him and feel like nobody writes him like that anymore (the other writers who did also stopped).
Hey! Let me preface this by saying that this is in no way to dunk on the fandom. I think it's pretty natural that as time progresses, certain fanon takes "stick" / gain more traction / become more popular. It's also not to say that my perspective of the character is "good" and another is "bad", it's more that the current dominant fanon perception of Raphael (and Haarlep) doesn't resonate with me.
Over the past months, most part of the Raph!fandom that is visible to me seems to have arrived at the conclusion that Raphael is smitten with the player character, rather than him being a manipulative fiend that uses charm to get what he wants. That leads to characterizations of him where he "loves" a Tav/Durge/OC, where his actions get attributed as driven by that player character (as opposed to them being an important tool to him).
As someone who's written a somewhat softer Raph in my own fic (and I only barely made that work for myself by making him human, and the ending – SPOILERS – very much is intended to contradict any perception of him being selfless/in love/able to love how humans love) I don't think it's true of his character.
Him being able to love is an interpretation that I don't personally agree with. Of course people can HC that! More power to you!!! Have fun with it. It's just a take I don't enjoy because to me, it takes away a lot of the complexity and a core part of his canon personality.
Related to that there's, again, from my pov, an infantilization that comes along with that.
Raphael as incapable. Raphael as a helpless plaything for Haarlep. Raphael as a dork. Raphael as comic relief. Raphael showing up because he "loves" the character instead of manipulating them. And so on. Same as before: It's, to me personally, a reduction of his character, and quite frankly, boring. He is more powerful than this fanon version portrays him. He is more frightening, and ruthless, and evil, as fanon seemingly wants him to be.
For Haarlep it's even more so that he gets reduced to that funny side character. The darker sides of that character often gets left out. Again, the dominant fanon perception of that incubus feels very one-dimensional and underserving of the complexity and outright shrewd brutality Haarlep displays (and probably needed to survive for this long under Raphael's roof).
They're both evil characters. But they can't be in the current discourse. They're getting washed into a softy, funny, cutiepie version. And that's not what I think the characters are.
To some degree this also happens to Gortash btw. But I digress.
Again. Not saying this read on the characters is bad, it's just one I personally don't agree with, and that I don't find interesting.
Now to the part about people enjoying my take on him in my writing. First, thank you so much for saying that! I really appreciate it. And I mean, I do see that Keeping Score and Folie á Deux are still two of my most-read fics to date, with tens of thousands of hits altogether. But the thing is. People don't comment on finished/older fics, not to mention reblog them lmao. I'm pretty sure that Folie has gotten 50-65% of its hits after even the expansion (chapter 6) was written. Did it get any comments since then? Ha.
Keeping Score also got a significant number of reads after completion. But I can count the number of people (!) on one hand who commented since I finished it end of 2023. So. Unless you tell writers you enjoy their work, we won't know. Because I cannot tell who clicks on the fic and leaves again, or who devours it all in one sitting.
Sorry for the tangent. It's just a pity to hear now, all those months later, that there are people out there who liked my depiction of Raph when I was pretty convinced that no one actually cared. Anyway!
I hope this doesn't start any drama, because legit, I don't have beef with anyone. I am happy that character is giving so many people joy. I have my Gorty delusions to keep me entertained. But you asked, so here's a long answer, hoping I gave enough context to make it understandable.
Happy headcanoning and shipping, everyone <3
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thedoubteriswise · 3 days
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I keep seeing complaints that people responding against anti-voting propaganda content are being "condescending" and "patronizing" and therefore are hurting their own cause. to a certain extent, I understand the point being made; it's true that people don't respond well to being insulted or feeling like they're being insulted. I've made this point many times before myself. but some of the takes I'm seeing have me at the end of my fucking rope, so I'm just going to reiterate three points that are less about this specific conversation and more about political debates in general:
refusing to consider the meat of someone's valid argument purely because you don't like the tone they're taking while making it is shitty behavior, and it's a great way to end up with factually wrong opinions. we've had a whole conversation about this in recent years; it was pretty hard to miss.
saying or implying that someone is a bad person (or annoying, or cringey, or whatever) instead of addressing the meat of their argument is an ad hominem attack. it's a logical fallacy. there are plenty of times where it doesn't matter and it's not that deep, we can make jokes, fine. but when forming your actual real opinions, it's critical that you agree or disagree with an idea, not with the people who are having it.
I've seen plenty of posts that took a hostile tone. I've also seen plenty that didn't, yet were still described as being patronizing. at this point, I'm not sure how people can phrase their arguments without being accused of condescension, because part of the problem with this topic (and many others, to be fair) is that people who need to hear corrections to their own thinking have gotten extremely attached to a specific way of conceptualizing how american politics work that isn't reflective of reality, or have linked their identity to engaging with politics in a specific way that has been sold to them as "radical." we've got a lot of people more interested in maintaining a sense of identity or catering to their own moral scrupulosity than in getting real world results that would actually line up with their stated values.
I do think that some people's frustration in combating this comes out at condescension. that's unfortunate, and I agree that it can be counterproductive. but I think there is also a strong element of people hearing that their political strategy is ineffective, dangerous, and poorly considered, and experiencing that as an attack to their identity, moral beliefs, or in-group. this is an extremely common phenomenon; a great recent example of it is conservatives who resisted mask and vaccine requirements - the things they were saying and doing were materially harmful to themselves and others, but telling them that was attacking something they had folded into their identity, so they pushed back even as they personally suffered the consequences of that decision.
my point is, if you have a negative response to hearing that your choice not to vote and to keep publicly discouraging voting is irresponsible and going to have undesirable results, it might be because the person saying so is being a dick about it, or that they generally suck as a person. I truly can't dispute this, the world is full of assholes. But a) does that make their argument factually wrong? what evidence do you have of this? does it hold up against the point they're making? And b) are they really being a dick, or are they simply challenging something that feels personal to you?
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flowanon · 14 hours
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WC Fandom Callout/Hot Take Time!
(I would like to preface this by saying that I am a member of the Warrior Cats community myself; I love it here and there are so many amazing and talented people. This post is by no means saying that everybody here is guilty of this, nor is it meant to be an attack or show of ill will on those who are. <:])
Okay, so I have a small grievance to air:
Never, in all my years on the internet, have I ever seen a community that matches the sheer amount of negativity and petty spite the WC fandom has, especially towards its own creators.
Exhibit A:
WC fandom:
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The Erins: *actually give us the most pretty, fun, and unique canon design we’ve ever gotten, which CLEARLY IS A CHIMERA AS THEY INTENDED DUE TO HOW HER BLACK FUR IS LONGER THAN HER ORANGE FUR (LOOK AT HER CHEEK FLUFF)*
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WC Fandom:
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LIKE. Y’ALL.
(I would also like to mention that while yes, the inbreeding is gross and warrants criticism, when you have such isolated populations interbreeding, it was always bound to happen, especially with such complex and forgettable lineages (of feral cats, no less (y’know, animals that form family trees like that naturally?)). Honestly? It’s been an issue for so long that I really think we should just stop pointlessly whining about it, accept it (as long as they aren’t too closely related/it isn’t immediate family incest), and move on.)
I get constructive criticism and civil discourse is healthy in a fandom, but there’s no need to be so blatantly and endlessly petty and spiteful, especially towards the people who try so hard to give you the thing you enjoy in a consistent and timely manner and live up to its legacy. I agree that there are definitely things they’ve messed up on or could do much better with and that they should prioritize quality over quantity more, but c’mon. Honestly, y’all will just find anything to bitch about. 😭 Besides, enough with the pessimism and belittlement! Fandoms are supposed to be fun, and trust me, you will have much more fun if you just let yourself be excited and see what happens. Even if it does feel somewhat like toxic positivity to say so, there's no joy in just being a critic all the time. :]
Anyway, sorry for the exasperated ramble, and thank you for coming to my TEDtalk. 🙏
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fragileheartbeats · 2 hours
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⌗ 𝘈𝘝𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘜𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘌 𝘏𝘊 ⁝ 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘥 ( ♥︎ )
˚꒰♡꒱‧ Hi there! Before you read this, you should know that English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!
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He would be incredibly sweet and gentle. A switch. He's a service dom and sub, and it would take time for him to reach that point of vulnerability, but if he trusted and loved you enough, he would let you in.
He's not very experienced, but he's a fast learner and eager to please, so I don't think there would be any problems. He's very soft-spoken, and you should be gentle with him as well. He's not into BDSM or slave play, and he's not a masochist. Stop this shit already. He would never do anything that would hurt you or himself.
I can see him being interested in bondage, though. With beautiful and expensive silk, no matter who's the one tied up. He would buy things to make your beauty stand out. He's a worshiper, and he would adore your body. But he also loves it when you worship him in return. He might even get so soft that he cries.
He's always looking into your eyes and face, trying to gauge your pleasure. He also loves your voice; honestly, he could come just by listening to your moans. He tries to keep quiet so he can listen to it.
Once he gets used to it, he opens up more and becomes more rough and bold. I think he would be fine with crossdressing. He would do it confidently, whether it's a maid's dress or a Playboy bunny costume.
He loves to tease you with his words, he's good at dirty talk. But he also wants to be praised. Please tell him he's doing good.
He has an oral fixation and loves to have his mouth on your body. It doesn't matter where—lips, hips, hands, fingers, breasts, or pussy. Anything goes.
Breeding kink goes hard. This man loves to cum inside and he really wants to get you pregnant. He wants to have a family of his own that he can love and be loved by.
The way he do it is intimate and sensual. He takes his time, savoring every moment. He wants to make sure you're enjoying yourself as much as he is. He's very attentive to your needs, and he'll always ask for your consent before doing anything.
He's a true romantic, and he loves to cuddle and spoon after. He'll whisper sweet nothings in your ear and tell you how much he loves you. Being with him is like living in a fairy tale. He makes you feel like the most beautiful and cherished woman in the world.
"You're so beautiful... I can't believe how lucky I am to be with you."
"I just want to hold you close and never let go."
"You mean everything to me... I hope you know that."
"I love you... more than anything in this world."
"Thank you for being here with me... for loving me."
"You drive me crazy... I can't get enough of you."
"I need you... I need this... right now."
"You're mine... all mine. And I'm never letting go."
"I want to lose myself in you... to forget everything but us."
"Don't hold back... show me how much you want this."
"You're so adorable when you blush... it drives me wild."
"I bet I can make you scream my name louder than you ever have before."
"Let's try something new... something adventurous. Are you up for it?"
"I love seeing you like this... so uninhibited, so free."
"You're my favorite game... and I always play to win."
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@ 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒔 . 𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑒, 𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡, 𝑜𝑟 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘𝑠 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑤𝑒𝑏𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠.
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lotusarchon · 3 days
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hey hey, i would like to ask a question out of curiosity (and im sorry if i sound offensive; im not skilled in the department of wording and communication) the 'mischaracterization' thing; would u tell me more of why u dislike it very much, and give examples of it for better understanding?
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Nah dude it's fine, I don't find you offensive one bit. I am surprised with the question but I'll try to word myself as much as I possibly can.
Also, full disclaimer; I am a fanfic writer, and I understand wanting to give a character more/a better personality and backstory, to give more room what the show writers didn't do. I do the same as well; my famous example is Sakura Haruno and giving her more personality than just a girl obsessed with boys. So, I'm aware people may try to give a character better personalities for whatever reason.
BUT.
There's a limit to how much I can take with it, and the LMK fandom really do take it too far. I'm in a bunch of fandoms, and I'm using Jujutsu Kaisen as an example with how writers tend to write Sukuna especially for shipping with OCs/Readers. Do you wanna know why I'm okay with it though, in JJK?
Because they at least know their fave is horrible. I'm not saying the fandom is good, but at least the few I've read from do in fact get the characters right and don't stereotype them, and if they do, they KNOW their faves are pieces of shits. They just don't care and anyways, it's a fanfic. They aren't gonna go bash people for disagreeing with them (from my experience. And if the JJK fandom has it, idc still, they're better than most of y'all here)
In LMK, it's so, so bad. The mischaracterization doesn't just stay as that. It's become the literal fanon vs canon thing because that's what the fans do. In every fanfic, fanart, ANYTHING related to the characters in the fandom, they stereotype and dumb down every single fucking one. I used to read fics and I've had to stop because of how disgusted I am. It's literally just "they would NOT be like that", but ah, god forbid you try to tell that to this fandom, because if you try you're a proshipper, homophobe/transphobe or racist.
I have a good few examples too, but my most popular ones are;
Fanon Wukong: A bad guy that abandoned MK, abused his 'best friend', just a sexy, hot monkey with grr possessive alpha traits. And, oh yeah! He's so stupid, he can't even read because he's just a big guy with ex issues and nothing else.
Fanon Macaque: A victim who was only trying to get his best/boy friend back. He definitely loves MK as a kid and is a better parent than Wukong. Ignore the fact he never once took blame for the trauma he put MK through as well, he's a victim and a little baby/daddy who just wants love. He's completely misunderstood guys.
Fanon MK: Personality? What personality? He's Red Son's and/or Mei little boyfriend who is just a baby obsessed with fucking and can't think of anything else. He's traumatized so, so badly and is just a poor little baby who's only source of comfort is Macaque because Macaque understands him more, definitely. He's dumb or maybe too smart for his own good but that's okay, there's always someone else to help him.
Fanon Tripitaka: An abusive cunt. Need I say more?
Fanon Nezha: Oh dear, guys he's just a grumpy baby guys, he's a grumpy lil baby, definitely not an adult stressed and exhausted, nah. He's a baby.
See where I'm getting at? Nine times out of ten you check a fanfic in this fandom regardless of the pairing or the plot, these are the kind of traits you see in these characters. There's nothing else but them dumbed down to being morons.
Nevermind that Sun Wukong is actually smart and most definitely has trouble reading modern writing, nevermind that Macaque has never owned up to his actions even when he played a part in hurting MK, nevermind that MK isn't just some sex obsessed baby and has problems and is a grown ass adult who needs therapy, nevermind that Tripitaka of all people only dared used the circlet because Wukong was hard to handle, NEVERMIND that Nezha, a centuries old god with different tales around him isn't someone who's just grumpy much less a child and has problems of his own.
Fans just simply won't look past anything but the fanon version of them. You try to explain that Macaque was a bad guy and redemption arc feels rushed and you're a bad person, or who cares he's hot right? You try to explain that Wukong isn't some illiterate asshole and is trying his best to adapt and be there for MK, because you're just a Macaque hater and also who cares, right? He's sexy and he can fuck Macaque, so who cares for personality, right?
Don't get me wrong. I'm used to this shit because again, look at Jujutsu Kaisen. But my god the LMK fans are so fucking annoyed and obsessed, they refuse to even see that these characters are more than just a single personality trait.
And that's just dealing with canon characters alone, don't get me started on how they react to ocs smh.
The LMK fandom is bad, bad. Nuclear level bad, even. It's a toxic wasteland of morons who have never really understood media literacy and instead simply cares for the appearances of how characters look rather than focusing on what makes them who they are.
But again, what good does it even do to complain right? I'm just some guy on the internet completely irked by the lack of braincells this fandom has. The most I can actively do is block the tags related to this fandom and focus on me. If I need fanfics, I'll write my own, that's all.
But, i will say, if there's a day this fandom actually sees characters as more than sex appeal, it's the day I suck a dick. Pardon my language but that's legit the only way I can phrase it as an aroace person. Y'all are so hazardous you make the 2020 MHA fandom look sooooo much better.
It's not a compliment. Be better. You're fans of a children based show, and coming from an author who writes mainly NSFW stuff for LMK on AO3, it's disappointing.
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nanabansama · 1 day
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In this post I touched upon how Amane's quote in Ch. 111 matches what his mother says about Tsukasa in Ch. 79. I thought this was interesting, but wasn't completely happy with my conclusions about the two scenes.
While I like the idea that Amane is quoting his own mother to some extent, one thing I undermined is that Amane seems to realize there's something different about Tsukasa before even their mom does.
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While the readers can see a giant, unnerving hole in Tsukasa, it's likely that Amane didn't. That said, I think it's meant to represent something to Amane in this moment, that being a sense of unease he can't place. His reaction says it all really: he's not overcome with joy that his brother is back, but looks surprised. Like something is off.
I think there are a few possibilties here. First, it's possible Amane did echo his mother's word because it resonates with how he felt: that his brother had been replaced by something else on the inside. He just didn't have the right language to express his thoughts beforehand.
Second, I think it's fun if Amane is saying this completely coincidentally. We never know if his mother mentioned her misgivings about Tsukasa to Amane directly, after all. She gets extremely upset at the temple but that doesn't mean she acted like that at home, in the presence of Amane who is still a young child. I do find it highly unlikely Amane never knew something was up, but it's totally possible his mom never directly told Amane about it and talked about it where he couldn't overhear.
I could swing either way really but I enjoy Amane being swayed by his mother's opinions since I think it adds an interesting thread to the story. Being a "tsukasa is still tsukasa" truther myself I also like that Amane could tell something was off but came to the wrong conclusion, perhaps influenced by outside forces like their mother.
Either way you swing it's a pretty minor difference overall, and personally I don't think Amane is any kind of authority on Tsukasa anyway and has in fact been shown to be wrong about him several times, but it's still important to remember he's always known that something was amiss with Tsukasa regardless of what their mom thinks.
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celestialjellie · 1 day
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Insomnia is kicking my ass, so I wanna just word vomit about Marcille, and just Dungeon Meshi as a whole.
Spoilers for the Dungeon Meshi manga, and trigger warning for mentions of Suicide.
I find myself relating to Marcille in a lot of different ways. One of these way is her relationship with her dad. Ask any of my friends and they'll confirm that my dad was one of the most important people in my life. I lost him in 2020 to cancer; I got genuinely so emotional when I saw Marcille reminiscing about her dad to the others. And how she wishes she got more time with him
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These kind of stories always seem to rewonate with me because I feel like my dad was taken from me too soon as well. Marcille's facial expression in the bottom panels is an expression I'm all too familiar with making. When talking about my dad (especially with people who never got the chance to meet him) its always really bittersweet. Its great because I'm able to talk about the greatest man I've ever known, but painful too because I know I'll never be able to talk to him again, be able to cry in his shoulders, be able to turn to him for help. And it hurts.
Theres also how Marcille views death inregards to herself, and her loved ones.
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This part made me genuinely cry because, in a way, I know how it feels. While its not necessarily in regards to death (I have had some harsh deaths in my life, like my dad's passing, and two friends of mine taking their own lifes) I do know how painful it can be to say goodbye to people, which is how Kui expresses Marcille's fear of death in Dunmeshi. With Marcille's long life she's going to likely outlive everyone she loves and thus have to say goodbye to them. I also have had to say goodbye to people I didn't want to: be it because of death, ending a toxic friendship,or other reasons. I also just love this part because you can see how badly everything that transpired in that chapter affected her, after bringing everyone back her first instinct was to chew them all out for being so reckless, but when ahe finally verbalizes what had happened her emotions catch her, and all she can do is fall back against the wall and begin crying.
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I also just love how immediate Laios and Senshi is to comfort, and apologize to her, as well as promising that they won't put her through that again.
I remember I was texting my friend Terra and we were joking about Marcille being my favourite because she's a "silly gay elf" but my love for Marcille can be summed up with "I came for the silly gay elf mage, but I stayed for the beautifully written character who struggles with issues that I frequently find myself struggling with.
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Additionally I just love how Laios and the others talk Marcille downfrom the edge after she's become the master of the dungeon, it reminds me of all the times my friends have talked me down from my own edge (I love you guys 💖)
Marcille's sexuality is another thing I resonate with. I know that Kui never explicitly states anything, but as a queer person I had a hard time reading Marcille and Falin's relationship as anyother other than romantic, like, we've all seen horny Marcille's "whoa hey!" reaction to Chimera Falin tearing her own shirt off (honestly such a valid reaction from her), but the part that really got me was how tender and loving Marcille is with Falin after she's been resurrected.
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My sexuality is something I've been struggling with a lot recently. A little over a year ago my boyfriend of nearly 8 years left me, and up until recently I was identifying as bisexual. However within the past few months I've found myself caring less and less for sex, and a strong desire for the roamntic aspects of a relationship, specifically with women. So seeing Marcille look at Falin with such adoration really resonated with me; I just really love their relationship.
This series is just so amazing, and it resonated with me in so many different ways from everything I've mentioned in this post about Marcille, to things like how Laios is such an amazing allegory for living with autism, to how Senshi has helped myself get a better, healthier relationship with food. Itw just an amazing series and easily in my top 5 anime/mangas.
That is all, I'm gonna try to get some sleep now, here have a dancing Marcille as thanks for reading.
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giamee · 2 days
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ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 prev. OG 5 GUYS INTRO!
masterlist. next. ᯓ ᡣ𐭩
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INTRODUCING THE ISLANDERS ...
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"i'm ayato, i'm 25 and from inazuma. i work as an accountant (wink). no no just joking don't keep that in-"
"(cough) i work as an accountant, i really love my life to be honest. the thing i love most on this earth is my car- it's a porsche, and the longest i've ever had a girlfriend for is about.... 2 weeks? so good luck to the next one haw haw haw-"
"my type? i like pretty women. let's hope there are some on the show haw haw haw"
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"hello!! my name's tighnari, nari for short, i'm 22, and i'm currently studying biochemistry at the akademiya in sumeru"
"i really love being outdoors and nature, so my perfect first date would be a long hike in the woods, or just any physical activity. i think you can really tell a lot about a person when you're out in nature with them"
"so.... i guess that makes my ideal type someone who also loves the outdoors? i have a thing for more nerdy girls, too- it's something i've noticed. i just find it so cute when a girl has glasses"
".... an ick? if she litters, it's an instant no from me"
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"i'm alhaitham, i'm 25, i'm from sumeru and i'm a court stenographer"
"to be completely honest, i'm here because i lost a bet with my friend. he thinks i need to try harder to find a girlfriend so i'll see how it goes on this show. it would be funny to see the look on his face if i do end up meeting a girl i like, i guess."
"a fun fact about myself? i can type 120 words per minute"
"i don't think i've really struggled with romance. there's been many girls who have tried to get with me, i'm just not really the type to get with someone for the sake of it. does that sound like i'm bragging? oh well."
"i don't think i have a type, either. i like who i like, simple as that."
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"how's my hair looking? ok, good."
"i'm kaeya but you can call me handsome, im 24, and i live in mondstadt. i work in sales, so that definitely helps when i'm chatting up girls, heh."
"my go to pick up line? do you believe in love at first sight or do i have to walk past you again? (chuckle) nah, nah, i'm joking. i don't really use pickup lines, i'll just buy a girl a drink and we get talking and then... you know. it's a pretty good tactic. or maybe it's just me, heh."
"i like women who are confident in themselves. i don't want to have to spend all my time reassuring her, you know? and a girl who can keep me on my toes, someone who can beat me at my own game, you get me?"
"i have yet to meet a girl like that, i guess that's the reason why i've never had a proper girlfriend."
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"my name's xiao, i'm 26, and i'm a tattoo artist from liyue"
"i get told that i look young for my age quite a lot- i guess it's to do with the height? it'll pay off when i'm 40 and still looking 20, at least"
"my type? ... to be really honest, i love girls with thick thighs and pretty smiles. there's nothing better than that"
"an ick? girls who go around saying if he's under 6 foot i don't want him- they're missing out on some good dick because they can't pull their heads out of their asses, that's for sure... oh shit, am i allowed to say that?"
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𝜗𝜚 gia's notes :: and now the five guys! all the og islanders are now introduced 🥳🥳
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Oh yeah, I was also holding myself back, but now that the official is here I can say:
"I THOUGHT WE'D BE COMPETING AND BEING IN EACH OTHER'S HEELS FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES"
KATSUKI REALLY THREW IN THE "TSUKI GA KIREI DESU NE" AT IZUKU I NEED IZUKU'S OWN "SHIN DEMO II WA" I THOUGHT IF SOMEONE WAS GONNA DO IT WAS HIM BUT THAT WAS A HEAD CANON- Oh my god it's not a head canon anymore I am In Disbelief-
WE BASICALLY GOT A WONDER DUO PROPOSAL ON THE DAY IN THE PERFECT MIDDLE OF THEIR BIRTHDAYS I AM DYING XD
"Being banged up must be making you emotionally vulnerable" no you freaking emotionally repressed dingus now he wants the same thing you do, where's the memo I know you had 139 chapters ago stop downplaying your suffering and trying to convince everyone you're fine because "it's over now"-
Oh my god we are so getting the opposite of Deku vs. Kacchan 3- DvsK2 was Katsuki venting to Izuku before he lost it now is Katsuki beating Izuku for seemingly giving up on his dreams for others and/or being so selfless he keeps hiding what he wants, like he gave up on his goals, a la Final Exams and Izuku is finally being forced to open up his heart and both of their own One For All embers will act up and force them to clear up all misunderstandings once and for all- I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS GUYS XD
... WHAT IF THE "SHIN DEMO II WA" RESPONSE IS IZUKU RESPONDING HE WANTED TO BE A HERO WITH KATSUKI FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES TOO BUT HE CAN'T BECAUSE HOW COULD HE WASN'T WORTH ANYTHING WITHOUT HIS QUIRK AND KATSUKI'S GOAL IS TO ASSURE HE IS AND WE GET A "CAN'T IMAGINE A WORLD WITHOUT YOU IN IT MOMENT"- I am entering headcanon territory jeez I've been holding this in for too long already-
IZUKU COME ON YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM CRYING HE'S DEVASTATED FOR YOU AND YOUR DREAMS JUST ACCEPT HIS LOVE DAMN IT YOU'RE CIRCLING AROUND THE IMPROMPTU PROPOSAL THEN THAT'LL BE HALF OF YOUR DREAM FULFILLED-
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yuurivoice · 2 days
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Happy pride month! I was wondering if you would ever make a trans character or if its ok to headcanon any of you characters trans. I really headcanon faust being ftm cuz i relate to him so him
I never mind anyone headcanoning a character as trans. I think it's dope. I think in terms of my content specifically, particularly characters I voice, I shouldn't just make and portray a trans character as most of my boys are particularly geared to sell smut in addition to the plot, and that's a whole additional layer of stuff to consider because it's like...yo why is this cis guy profiting off something that should be handled with thoughtful consideration.
That being said, I'd like to explore my creativity outside of the bounds of just the audio roleplay medium. I'd like to write and tell stories in many ways, some of which absolutely involve creating characters that don't look like me, and have very different experiences from me.
When that time comes, I'll be figuring out a process for sensitivity reads, talking with all sorts of people to gain further insight and understanding before just...making things.
It's something I try to be conscious of. I don't think a creative has to only stick with whatever lived experience they have gone through, but I think it is the bare minimum to do the legwork to understand people and whatever stories you tell, know that you may be waving flags that are not your own, and that comes with responsibility. It might also come with shutting the fuck up. You won't be able to please everyone in a scenario like that, and sometimes you just have to accept it.
I've been very lucky to have spent a pretty significant part of my life getting to know people who aren't like me. That's only scratching the surface, but if I have one strength, it's listening. I don't always get it right, or know all the things, but that awareness is why I'd take those extra steps to grasp wtf I'm about to tackle in my work.
And if I think it's beyond me, I'll also know when to hang my hat up and move along.
All of that being said, I certainly have no issue with a trans Faust headcanon. I've spoken before about how he's about as close as I'll get to publicly exploring my own complicated thoughts on my gender and whatnot. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable enough to delve top deep into that in my public facing work just because while I trust my core audience to be great to me, that's the sort of thing that I don't think I'd want to go out of my regular orbit and leave me explaining myself to strangers on the internet. 😂
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wildissylupus · 1 day
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Can we get some OW New Blood headcanons? Whether it be some type of angst, heartfelt, or lighthearted interactions between the group.
Ask and you shall receive!! It's been awhile since I've done some New Blood stuff so let's see what I can do. Let's start off with some head canons first.
The New Bloods are the biggest human help in getting Zarya to unlearn her prejudices against omnics, it's mostly by telling her their own experiences with the Crisis (and with Hana it's her experiences with the Gwishi). They also call her out if she does or says something in line with her prejudice.
Cassidy is giving them all stealth training cause holy shit he cannot be the only person on that team who knows how to stealth, Baptiste is close but Cassidy knows that Talon stealth training is not going to cut it.
On top of that Cassidy is also giving specific training to D.Va so if she has to fight outside of her Mech he knows he can handle herself.
All of them know about Pharah's crush on Angela, either being told by Pharah herself or from Cassidy complaining that Genji and Pharah are hopeless at romance (he's been dealing with this for a max of 14 years at this point, he's allowed to complain)
They are all in agreement that if they are on a mission in a Talon base, they need to steal as much equipment as possible, mainly focusing on medical supplies.
They all make strategies on how to best use their skills together. They also sometimes include other agents abilities as well.
Pharah is the least foul mouthed of the group, only really swearing outside of missions, the rest? Not so much. By far the people who swear most often are Cassidy and D.Va.
----------------------- Cassidy: So I hear you you and Angie where around each other a lot while she was in Cairo, anything happened? Pharah: We just... hang out, spent time together, nothing other then what we would usually do before. Cassidy: ....Fareeha it's been fourteen years, for the love of god please make a move that isn't just flirty banter. ----------------------- Zarya: I don't understand how you have so many fans. Why do people like to watch you play games that they can play themselves? D.Va: The same reason why people play the Olympics and other sports, cause they like to see other doing something they love! ----------------------- D.Va: Ok so what if I initiate Self Destruct and you shoot them when they get behind cover! That way no matter what we're still hitting them. Cassidy: I don't know, might be able to hit some of them but I doubt it would be worth riskin' the Mech. D.Va: Oh, OH! What about if Niran launches you into the air and you shoot them from above! Cassidy: Hey...That ain't half bad! ----------------------- Baptiste: You know, you should really get some rest, it's not good to overwork yourself. Pharah: Have you been talking with my mum? Cause if she did you should tell her to take her own advise. Baptiste: No, no, I noticed it myself. Though I do think it's funny that both Ana and Cole seem to have the same issue as you. Pharah: Well, it kinda runs if the family. ----------------------- Pharah: Hey Cole, did I tell you that Jean thought we were dating? Cassidy: Ew, what?! What made you think that?! Baptiste: You two just seemed to have a lot of history! I was curious! Pharah: Yeah, it was our history that made you curious, nothing else more personal. Baptiste: Fareeha, I swear to god- ----------------------- Pharah: You know, you and Brigitte remind me of Cole and Angela when they were younger. D.Va: Ugh, Cass said the same thing, but I know I'm way cooler then he is! Pharah: HA! He would have said the same but trust me, it's a compliment.
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welcometogrouchland · 14 days
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(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.
Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!
#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#jason todd#(yes for the teddy bear. it counts)#batgirl#batgirls#mine#< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭#ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni#oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol#but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that#-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even#it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now#I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art)#so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW#uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff!#so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation#also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do#godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats#but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really??#< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason#imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven#he can't take this shit#oh so many ideas...#ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3)#(no pressure)
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thepoisonroom · 2 months
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'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.
I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.
About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'
-Casey Plett, Consciousness
#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it#i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition#but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body#not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways#but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth#valuing and exploring and treasuring#i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible#but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body?#it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head#and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude#this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example#like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than#violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body#to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities#like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia#so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you#even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by#what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems#Casey Plett#she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her#this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger#i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial#she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies#that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era#it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it#i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience#said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip#personal nonsense
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