#i put off watching it for so long because i was sure it was overrated + i'm generally not a fan of possession movies

[devilsskettle]

i've watched a lot of good films lately in an attempt to catch up with a bunch of movies that have come out recently, but talk to me was the best movie i've seen in a LONG time

#i put off watching it for so long because i was sure it was overrated + i'm generally not a fan of possession movies #(because so many of them try to be the exorcist and they will never be the exorcist. you know how it is) #but holy shit. genuinely a brilliant movie in every aspect of filmmaking + completely aligned with my personal taste #+ exactly what i look for thematically in possession and/or ghost movies #+ the absolute perfect balance between psychological and gory #and like i said SUCH a good cold opening #tbh i think it's a useful trick to know how to get your audience to buy into a supernatural premise from the very first scene #i think that takes some VERY effective + skillful writing and directing #and as someone who again typically does NOT like possession movies i usually end the movie NEVER buying into the story #not because i'm a 'skeptic' or whatever just because the writing doesn't do the work #but SCENE ONE of this movie i was so in it #anyway. movee of all time to me #also from the trailers etc i had thought that that fluffy yellow sweatshirt mia wears at the beginning of the movie was a bathrobe lmao #my first impression of what this movie was gonna be like was NOT correct #anyway 'recently' means in the past 2 years i guess? #actually maybe this post was a lie because i LOVED nope which was also just an absolute cinematic masterpiece #anytime i watch a jordan peele movie it's just like. this man is so far beyond any other filmmaker out there right now #it's almost unfair to watch lol like an olympic gold medalist running laps around a middle school track team #anyway ummm. yeah talk to me was good though

[puppy-steve]

i keep thinking about that one bachelor au post so here's my take on it (i've never watched the bachelor or bachelorette so bear with me)

the bachelor au where steve's the bachelor and eddie is a contestant, but not because he actually wants to be, he's just in it for the paycheck. robin is also a contestant but only because her parents sent in her application without her knowing and she isn't out to them yet.

they both think that steve is overrated and definitely over hyped. typical rich kid with enough money to buy people's love, yada yada.

until they both start going on dates with him and then realize that it isn't exactly true. yes, he's rich, but he's also kind and funny and actually genuine once you get past the mask he puts on for everybody. eventually, eddie and robin find themselves looking forward to their dates.

only robin doesn't want to date him. he's slowly moving his way up the ranks to becoming her best friend, sure, but this is still tv. she's still expected to kiss him and confess her feelings for him. and when the time comes for her to do that, she can't.

they're in venice. steve is leaning in and robin is very aware of the cameras filming them. the back of her neck goes cold and her stomach churns and suddenly she's running in the opposite direction. her italian is passable so she ends up getting a taxi back to the hotel production put them in.

she locks herself in her en suite and presses her forehead against the cold porcelain. she doesn't know how long she sits there until her phone buzzes and she checks the notification. the nausea rises up her throat again. she forgot she gave steve her number.

there's a knock on her room door and another text.

r u ok? can i come in?

robin debates it but figures she owes him and explanation. she lets him in and they sit on the bathroom floor. robin tells him why she's on the show in the first place, about how she didn't know her parents signed her up until she got the phone call from the casting director. tells him that even if she gets kicked off, she can still use the money for her student loans.

she stares at the water in the toilet bowl when she comes out to him.

steve is quiet, processing, before he laughs. he's not laughing at her, he promises, but "robin. you're on a show with more than a handful of other queers, you know that, right? i'm bisexual."

and yeah, robin knew that, but it's different when you're not into the guy you're supposed to be romancing at all.

steve reassures her that it's okay, and that he still hopes they can be friends and keep in touch after the show ends.

robin would like that.

she apologizes to the production crew the next day and they're understanding and steve and robin get a re-do of their date. it's much more genuine this time, filled with laughs and digs as they eat gelato along the river and people watch and gossip.

it's the best robin's ever been on.

eddie, on the other hand. he's absolutely head over heels for steve, which is surprising even for him. he's trailer park trash, he's got absolutely nothing on steve harrington. not the name, not the money.

hell, the very first day, he insulted the guy's food choices right to his face without knowing it.

eddie wants the earth to give way underneath him and swallow him whole.

he plays it up on their first date, all fake niceties and empty smiles, until steve tells him point blank, "the guy that said the buffet was shit that first night? i want to get to know him."

eddie's flabbergasted.

steve opens up about all the fake people in his life, the ones who just take advantage of them and use him for their own gains. the ones who don't even bother to get to know the real him. the one that likes to play guitar and hang out with the gaggle of teenagers that follow him around all the time for some unknown reason.

he tells eddie about what he wants to do with his life, not what someone else has planned for him and eddie falls deeper and deeper.

this time, when steve leans in for a kiss, eddie doesn't shy away. their lips press together and it's the best goddamn kiss either one of them have ever had.

the show has a deadline, of course, and steve can't just spend all his time with eddie and robin. there are other contestants. robin knows her rose is strictly platonic and steve has already called her multiple times freaking out about his growing crush on eddie. she knows eddie has this in the bag.

the final night comes and the contestants have dwindled. there's only a small group of them left: eddie, robin, and another guy and girl they didn't bother learning the names of.

when steve chooses eddie after a moment of dramatic silence that kind of puts his own dm dramatics to shame, eddie doesn't hesitate to jump in steve's arms, wrap his legs around his waist, and plant a sloppy one on him right in front of the cameras.

#cj talks #something something steve goes on a tv show to find romance and ends up finding his romantic and platonic soulmates #steddie #steddie fic #cj writes #i liked being your schmuck #platonic stobin #the three muskequeers

[scoops-stevie-archive]

i keep thinking about that one bachelor au post so here's my take on it (i've never watched the bachelor or bachelorette so bear with me)

the bachelor au where steve's the bachelor and eddie is a contestant, but not because he actually wants to be, he's just in it for the paycheck. robin is also a contestant but only because her parents sent in her application without her knowing and she isn't out to them yet.

they both think that steve is overrated and definitely over hyped. typical rich kid with enough money to buy people's love, yada yada.

until they both start going on dates with them and then realize that it isn't exactly true. yes, he's rich, but he's also kind and funny and actually genuine once you get past the mask he puts on for everybody. eventually, eddie and robin find themselves looking forward to their dates.

only robin doesn't want to date him. he's slowly moving his way up the ranks to becoming her best friend, sure, but this is still tv. she's still expected to kiss him and confess her feelings for him. and when the time comes for her to do that, she can't.

they're in venice. steve is leaning in and robin is very aware of the cameras filming them. the back of her neck goes cold and her stomach churns and suddenly she's running in the opposite direction. her italian is passable so she ends up getting a taxi back to the hotel production put them in.

she locks herself in her en suite and presses her forehead against the cold porcelain. she doesn't know how long she sits there until her phone buzzes and she checks the notification. the nausea rises up her throat again. she forgot she gave steve her number.

there's a knock on her room door and another text.

r u ok? can i come in?

robin debates it but figures she owes him and explanation. she lets him in and they sit on the bathroom floor. robin tells him why she's on the show in the first place, about how she didn't know her parents signed her up until she got the phone call from the casting director. tells him that even if she gets kicked off, she can still use the money for her student loans.

she stares at the water in the toilet bowl when she comes out to him.

steve is quiet, processing, before he laughs. he's not laughing at her, he promises, but "robin. you're on a show with more than a handful of other queers, you know that, right? i'm bisexual."

and yeah, robin knew that, but it's different when you're not into the guy you're supposed to be romancing at all.

steve reassures her that it's okay, and that he still hopes they can be friends and keep in touch after the show ends.

robin would like that.

she apologizes to the production crew the next day and they're understanding and steve and robin get a re-do of their date. it's much more genuine this time, filled with laughs and digs as they eat gelato along the river and people watch and gossip.

it's the best robin's ever been on.

eddie, on the other hand. he's absolutely head over heels for steve, which is surprising even for him. he's trailer park trash, he's got absolutely nothing on steve harrington. not the name, not the money.

hell, the very first day, he insulted the guy's food choices right to his face without knowing it.

eddie wants the earth to give way underneath him and swallow him whole.

he plays it up on their first date, all fake niceties and empty smiles, until steve tells him point blank, "the guy that said the buffet was shit that first night? i want to get to know him."

eddie's flabbergasted.

steve opens up about all the fake people in his life, the ones who just take advantage of them and use him for their own gains. the ones who don't even bother to get to know the real him. the one that likes to play guitar and hang out with the gaggle of teenagers that follow him around all the time for some unknown reason.

he tells eddie about what he wants to do with his life, not what someone else has planned for him and eddie falls deeper and deeper.

this time, when steve leans in for a kiss, eddie doesn't shy away. their lips press together and it's the best goddamn kiss either one of them have ever had.

the show has a deadline, of course, and steve can't just spend all his time with eddie and robin. there are other contestants. robin knows her rose is strictly platonic and steve has already called her multiple times freaking out about his growing crush on eddie. she knows eddie has this in the bag.

the final night comes and the contestants have dwindled. there's only a small group of them left: eddie, robin, and another guy and girl they didn't bother learning the names of.

when steve chooses eddie after a moment of dramatic silence that kind of puts his own dm dramatics to shame, eddie doesn't hesitate to jump in steve's arms, wrap his legs around his waist, and plant a sloppy one on him right in front of the cameras.

#steddie #steddie ficlet #platonic stobin #the three muskequeers #something something steve going on a tv show to find romance and ending up finding both his romantic and platonic soulmates #cj talks #prompts

[inourtownofhawkins]

𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘰𝘦

Summary: Stuck at Steve Harrington’s Christmas party; you and Eddie both escape and end up in the same quiet room.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Author’s note: Another one of my Edancy fics made into an Eddie and Reader fic, I hope you enjoy!

CW: None, just fluff

Word count: 602

Tagging: @lunatictardis @reidsbtch @melodymunson @battymunson

Any hate will not be tolerated, constructive criticism is welcomed.

Steve Harrington’s Christmas party was the highlight of every year – they were legendary, it almost seemed like everyone would base their social calendar for the year around his party. Anyone who was anyone in Hawkins would be invited and then they would bring a plus one or two, making the invite list and endless array of names that everyone was sure Steve barely knew.

Eddie always thought the parties were massively overrated. If he wanted to watch people get too drunk they couldn’t stand and then start fighting, he would’ve gone to The Hideout on a Friday night. He’d tried to relax by drinking a couple of beers, but it didn’t seem to have worked, way too many people.

He’d escaped to an upstairs bedroom, sitting against the bed, and staring out at the large balcony doors, wondering how the hell he’d ended up even getting invited in the first place.

You were always drawn to parties – there was something about the way people could just lose themselves in the music and alcohol that always seemed to intrigue you. Even if your own party days were long over, you still loved to go to parties and just talk to people, even if they were completely wasted and made no sense. During the course of the evening, you’d been given a makeshift flower crown, although instead of flowers, it had cranberries and mistletoe braided into it.

After making a quick trip to the bathroom, you saw the back of Eddie slip into one of the bedrooms, the door closing quickly behind him. You looked around to see nobody else was watching or following, and then followed in after him. You tried to be as quiet as possible but clearly not quiet enough as he turned and looked at you.

“Sorry for interrupting, I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

Eddie relaxed at your words of concern, relaxing back on the floor before moving aside so you could sit next to him. “I’m okay. I just… I don’t even know why I’m here; someone invited me as a plus one. Parties aren’t really my forte.”

You rested your chin on your knees, licking your lips. “I invited you.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted an excuse to talk to you.”

Eddie smiled at your words, instinctively moving closer to you. “Oh, really? What did you wanna talk about?”

You shrugged, shaking your head a little as you blushed. “Anything. I like hearing you talk; you always just seem so compelling when you do.”

“Well, well, well, I never thought the Princess of Hawkins would want to talk to me, Eddie Munson, the lowly peasant.”

“I don’t think of you like that, nor do I think of myself like that.”

“I think of myself like that,” Eddie shrugged, taking the last sip of his beer before putting it to one side. “I like the headdress, by the way. It’s very… fairy tale.”

You smiled, remembering you still had the crown on. “Thanks, there was a girl downstairs giving them out, saying we should’ve all gotten more into the Christmas spirit.”

He gently poked it, pulling off a mistletoe berry. “Is that mistletoe?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Well, there’s one thing I have to do now,” he whispered before kissing your cheek before you could question or protest.

You frowned a little, confused as he pulled away. “What was that for?”

“The tradition is you kiss a girl under mistletoe so that next year, she isn’t single and for every kiss, you remove one berry until there’s none left,” he smiled softly, pulling off another berry.

#spilled ink #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader

[imrllytootiredforthis]

BROOO STOPPP 🐟 ANON QITH THE BRIGHT IDEAS I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY BUT THAT LITTLE YANDERE FELIX STORY BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFEEEE i feel like most of the yandere stories i come across are the ones where he’s crazy possessive i saw one fic one time where the idol had y/n kidnapped and under house arrest until she learned to “behave” and not try to escape like ummm…🗿

but that sweet little yandere felix where he’s just obsessed with you and utterly in love. maybe stalking is ok if it’s fefe like he just has to know all your preferences so he can appeal to you the most before any other guy comes along and tries to take you away from him :((( and then he can casually bring up some of your interests under the guise of having them in common with you (when in reality he’s memorized your schedules, where you go to eat, shop, your hobbies, likes and dislikes, favorite things, etc etc) also he would definitely keep a secret notebook to keep track of things about you like a list of everything you like and hate. & on his phone he’d definitely have a hidden album with thousands of candids of you he’s taken secretly whether it’s of you out in public when he’s “watching over you from afar to make sure you’re safe” or pictures at home, pictures of you sleeping, or in the shower or getting changed bc he saves pictures like that for nights he steals your panties

and he’s just so in love with you he’d let you do absolutely ANYTJING to him. ruin him, dress him up all pretty, put him on a leash and drag him around the apartment like a pet (omg yes making him kneel in front of you on the couch like a good kitty for hours while you do other things and he waits so patiently bc he’d do anything to make you happy), tie him up, and his faveee: treating him all softly and lovingly, whispering praising to him, telling him that he’s the only one for you, stroking his hair and body softly while he cums the hardest he’s ever came:(( poor baby just can’t take you doing something so dirty while being so sweet to him and the fact that it’s YOU of all people making him feel that way makes his head all hazy

in conclusion: felix the sweetest yandere sub he just wants to be with you for life and doesn’t want anyone to take you away from him!!!

-🎀

no because one of the reasons i love sub!yandere so much is because i'm not really into the whole kidnapping and controlling and domineering type thing,

with sub lixie it's definitely straight up obsession, wanting to be anything and everything to please you, doing whatever you want-his only goal is to make you happy.

he learns everything he can about you and memorizes it, commits your favourite flower to memory-he knows if you're allergic, he knows if you think roses are overrated, he knows which one you like and what makes you love them so much, whether it be a memory or the way it smells or if you simply like the way it looks.

he knows all of your interests and tries his very best to get into them so that he can talk to you about them<3, suggesting you go out together to do them or if you could teach him more to get better so he can spend more time with you

he knows all your favourite places, he'll buy you plane tickets and plan a whole vacation for you to go on together-coincidently in your favourite city or somewhere you've been wanting to go to for a long time.

date nights are the best because he knows just what you like, the chocolates you one mentioned that you loved, the restaurant that you had said you wanted to try but was too expensive, the movie you said made you happy and the one scene in it that you'd gushed about how it was the most romantic thing you'd ever seen.

baby gets off to whatever you want him to, as long as you're enjoying it he is. so needy and desperate that every touch is something he worships, each kiss is with a kind of passion and love that like it's your last

he's more than willing to get down on his knees and worship everything that is you, treating it like it's a privilege to even be around you

degrading him and humiliating him is nothing, step on him and call him a dirty little perv, dress him up in the panties that he's stolen from you and the tiniest little skirts, take pictures and spit on him and drag him around in a leash in collar. he loves every second, taking it all without a peep (other than moans and whimpers for more).

anything and everything and he'll take and take with no complaint, still looking at you with a kind of admiration as if you were the one that hung the stars in the sky

praising he loves so, so, so, so, so much tho<33. soft touches and even softer words, calling him pretty and adorable and your sweet little kitty, he feels his heart fluttering and cock throbbing and is a million percent sure in that moment that this is the thing he was made for,

to please and make you happy, to adore and love you, to see that sly smile on your face and receive your gentle kisses as you call him yours-only yours-the possessiveness in your tone, the way a dark glint that enters your eyes when you tell him that no one else will ever have him like you do,

god it drives him insane, it makes every other thing go away because all that really matters is you and he needs nothing else in this world except for you and to see you so adamant that he is yours makes him know that you feel the same way

#inbox💌 #sub!yandere #sub yandere #lee felix x reader #felix x reader #lee felix smut #felix smut #yandere felix #sub stray kids #sub skz #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #hard thoughts #stray kids hard thoughts

[eli-com]

୧ *·˚ 4 HEAD-CANONS - HOBIE BROWN

1. He’s a love island fan - but not by choice. You’d put it on one night whilst he was sat beside you on his phone, and this continued for the next few nights until eventually his phone was long gone and he was swearing at the tv, possibly more into the show than you were.

“What the fucks he doin’?! Are you kidding me? Stupid prick.” He’d throw his hands up in the air, clearly annoyed by the people on TV.

“Hobes, chill, you don’t even know these people!” You’d laugh, finding it funny how upset he was getting over a show he would’ve call stupid if you’d asked him about it just weeks prior.

“Yeah but she’s gonna come back and see him with another girl, poor sod.” He’d huff, leaning back and crossing his arms. “People on this show are twats.”

2. Yes, he’s a punk. Yes, he’s from camden. But he is NOT one of the camden punks who sit on the bridge asking for money. He avoids Camden Town at all costs, claiming it’s full of too many tourists with more money than sense. He used to go there when he was younger to get piercings and tattoos, because god knows if there’s one place they won’t ask for ID, it’s the dodgy tattoo shops in Camden. However once he taught himself to do piercings and (kind of?) tattoos, there was no need to go anymore.

“Hobie there’s this new food stall that I thought we could go try today-“ You’d quickly be cut off by his voice. “Where?” He already knew where this was going.

“Camden market…” A scoff would sound from where he sat on the bed watching you get dressed. “I can get you better food literally anywhere else.” You’d walk over, falling into his side in annoyance.

“But it’s literally five minutes down the road!”

Sometimes he’ll end up giving in and will let you drag him to the market, where you’d force him to buy something from one of the stalls; but not before he could complain about how overpriced and overrated it was.

3. On the topic of him doing his own piercings - he’d LOVE if you asked him for a piercing. I can guarantee from the moment you met him he’d been mapping out your face, imagining which ones would best suit you. Of course he’d always make sure you were sure you wanted it, he didn’t want you to regret it once it was done, but as soon as you gave him a green light he’d be ready, grabbing his supplies and sitting you down on the edge of the bathtub.

“Hold fucking still.” Hobie would huff, one gloved hand placed on your shoulder as the other grabbed whatever he was looking for.

“I’m nervous!” You’d whine, your own hands clenching onto the edge of the bathtub you were sitting on. A small ‘tsk’ would leave Hobie’s lips as he pulled slightly away to look at you. He was kneeling in front of you, yet his face was still fairly close to yours from where you sat.

“Love, I haven’t even got the needle out yet- I’m literally cleaning your nose with a cotton bud and you’re already wriggling around.”

4. Whenever you become interested in something, he’s interested in it too. Wanna dye your own hair? He’ll watch videos on it so he can help. Learning to make your own jewellery? He’ll buy the supplies and make some too. He loves to do things as a couple, and he likes to be good at things so that if you ever need help he’ll know how to support you; even if it is only little things like how to thread a needle.

You’d be sat on your bed, blanket pulled up to your waist as you struggled with your hook. You’d recently become obsessed with crocheting after seeing it on TikTok and decided that you needed to learn. You were currently struggling to get the hang of the movements, the yarn continuously slipping off of the hook.

Hobie would be sat beside you on his phone before he noticed you struggling, a smug grin forming at his lips as he reached over, pulling you into his arms and placing his own hands over yours.

“You’re holding it wrong, moron.” He’d show you how to hold it currently, helping you to successfully pull the yarn through the slip knot you’d created. A smile would pull at your lips before you turned to face him, confused.

“How the hell did you know that?” He’d grin down at you.

“Watched a video on it last night after you mentioned your package came.”

#hobie brown #hobie x y/n #hobie brown atsv #hobie x reader #hobie x you #hobie headcanons #atsv hobie #hobie x oc #atsv x reader #hobie #atsv #marvel #mcu #x reader #reader insert #fanfic #marvel fanfiction

[givemea-dam-break]

Hello! I have read some of your fics and you are an amazing writer, I love your works, and since I saw you have request open for my current hyperfixation, I wanted to ask for some jealous Anthony Lockwood , thank you :)

a/n: yesssssss thank you i would absolutely love to write this! I'm so, so glad you like my writing! thank you for all your support <3

warnings: mild language gn reader

"Who are those flowers for?"

You look up from your book, curled up on the sofa in the living room, watching as Lockwood strides in. Something in your chest leaps at the sight of him, longing to watch his usual routine of pacing, then sitting and reading a magazine, but you fix your gaze back on the book in your lap. You've just started a particularly interesting chapter.

"Me."

There's a pause and a glimmer of tension in the air. "From who?"

"Ned Shaw."

Lockwood scoffs, and when you look up again, he's sitting, glaring at the cluster of roses stuffed in some random vase you found in one of the cupboards. They're a bright, blinding red on the window, bathed in golden sunlight.

"Why?"

You suppress a smile. "You're just full of questions today, aren't you? Well, judging from the little note that came with them, he wants me to go to the Fittes at Fifty ball with him tonight and thought the roses would be a symbol of his good intentions."

Lockwood scowls. "Ned Shaw? Of all people, Ned Shaw?"

"We've talked a few times," you say with a shrug. "Not always willingly. I've bitten his head off already for how he treats you guys. But, behind all the grumpiness, he's actually an alright guy."

"And he asked you to the Fittes ball?" He's still staring at the flowers, and it seems as if he's trying to burn them with sight alone. It takes all your willpower not to laugh.

"Yeah, is that so surprising?"

"No, but..."

"But what?"

He sighs through his nose. He seems mostly at ease, except for his expression, but there's something more to it than the rivalry between Lockwood and Co and Fittes. Ned Shaw is part of Kipps' crew, and, sure, he's not the nicest guy ever, but he's saved your life a few times and you've caught up over coffee once or twice. It's not like you're interested in him. You're quite caught up over someone else entirely.

"And, so what if I said yes?" you ask, pretending that your focus is still on your book. Really, you're watching Lockwood out of the corner of your eye, or admiring him as Lucy would put it. "No one else asked me."

"You're going with us, aren't you?"

"If I didn't know you any better, I'd assume that's jealousy in your voice, Anthony Lockwood." Grinning, you glance up from your book.

Lockwood scoffs again. "Jealous? Of Ned Shaw? There's nothing to be jealous about."

"Well, he did pay for me at Arif's yesterday when I was getting some snacks. Awfully kind of him, don't you think?" You turn to the next page of your book. "He bought me this, too. Heard I was into this genre and thought of me when he saw it."

"Bullshit. You don't read that genre at all."

You raise your eyebrow, gently shutting the book. "And what makes you say that?"

Lockwood leans forward, his infamous 'Lockwood Grin' making its appearance. "You don't read anything by that author in particular because, in your words, he's a 'misogynistic prick who has never seen a woman in his life'. You don't read that genre because it reminds you too much of real life when in reality you want to escape it." He points over to the windowsill. "Those flowers? You prefer orchids over roses, a fact you've made clear before, and you think that red roses in particular, such as those ones, are overrated. You like orange ones more."

Speechless. He's left you completely and utterly speechless, and he knows it because his grin is triumphant.

How does he know all of that? They've never been topics of conversation, merely things you've said in passing, but he's remembered it all. Your cheeks flush, and your smile becomes more shy and subdued. None of it is even that interesting, but he's gone out of his way to remember it.

"What do you suggest I do, then?" you ask, trying to keep your elation hidden.

"Don't go with him."

"Who do I go with then?"

He knows it's a leading question, you can see it in his eyes and the way his smile softens slightly at the corners. "Me."

Internally, your brain is throwing a party. Fireworks and confetti cannons are going off, a disco ball is flashing a rainbow of colours, and your heart is dancing along to some music, but you make sure to keep your face as casual as possible. That proves to be harder than you thought.

"Oh, is that so?"

There's something in those dark eyes of his that has butterflies swarming in your stomach. "Yes. I think I'm a much better dance partner than Ned Shaw."

"Who says we'll be dancing?" you say. "We've got a job to do tonight. I'm sure we'll be far too busy."

"I'll make time."

And now he's done it. Your breath catches in your throat, and a smile plays on your lips as you look away from Lockwood. You can feel his gaze on your face, still, and you feel all giddy and mushy inside. When you turn your eyes back, he's still watching you, studying your face intently, and you find yourself doing the same - enjoying tracing your eyes over the shape of his face, the neatness of his hair, the green tie he fiddles with the end of. The only sign of his emotions behind that bright, cocky smile.

"I was never going to go with Ned," you admit, your eyes firmly locked in place with his. "I already declined his offer."

"You did?" You don't miss the relief in his tone.

"Mm-hm. Told him about the roses, too. And, really, this book isn't that great. Quite naff, if I'm being honest. There is no way this man has ever seen a woman. I mean, seriously, in what world is this good writing?"

Lockwood laughs, and you wish you could record the sound and put it on repeat to use it as some sort of painkiller. You find yourself laughing, too. You feel at ease with Lockwood, comfortable just sitting with him. It would be a content life just relaxing here, curled up on the sofa, with him for the rest of your life, laughing and talking.

"So, I know I haven't bought you flowers, or a book, or anything, but will you be my date to the ball?" Lockwood asks.

It sounds a bit like a line from some fairytale, enough to make you laugh softly.

"I will, Lockwood. But, I have one request."

His smile is so radiant it lights up the whole room. "And that is?"

"Don't kill Ned."

"Ah, well, no promises."

#lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x reader #lockwood and co x reader #lockwood and co fanfiction #anthony lockwood #lockwood and co #lucy carlyle #george karim #x reader #fanfiction #lockwood and co netflix #givemea-dam-break

[carmybears]

BF!Carmy Headcannons

I swear I'm still working on Carmy fics (slowly but surely I promise!!) but here have some morsels that have been living in my notes app -- all carmy x reader fluff

You’re the one who has to initiate the first kiss bc you’re pretty sure you were going to grow old waiting for him to do it

It was obvious that he wanted to kiss you (lots of long, lingering looks at your lips like WOW) but he’s still so uncertain of himself in romantic situations that he let his hesitations get the best of him

And let’s be real, you had been flirting your ass off trying to get him to kiss you — it could not have been any more clear that you wanted to just make out with him, but he was just not reading the signs

So the next time you caught him trying to turn away suddenly after letting his gaze linger on your lips, you caught his jaw and just planted a sweet kiss on his surprised lips

Just kiss him silly!! He deserves it!!

Physical touch is absolutely his love language, but he’s so touch starved and concerned about screwing up his first real relationship that it takes him a while to come around to being physically affectionate with you

Like, you come over to his apartment after a shift at the restaurant one night just to watch cooking shows together and he can’t even concentrate on TV because he’s too busy overthinking whether it’s ok for him to put his arm around you

When he finally comes around though, you can hardly keep his hands off you

If you’re in the kitchen cooking dinner together, Carmy’s gonna find a reason to put his hand around your waist or lower back. If you’re sitting together on the L, he’s got his hand on your knee. If you’re hanging out together on the couch, he’s got your legs draped across his lap

He is bad about holding hands tho

He doesn’t dislike holding hands by any means, but he’s not good at it — just too fidgety. He’s always toying with something (emotional support spoon) or talking with his hands, so holding hands for any period of time doesn’t work out for him that well. He’s always quick to give your hand a reassuring squeeze if you need it, or to run his thumb softly over the back of your knuckles though

Whenever you’re out and about together, he always makes sure to walk on the sidewalk between you and the street. Similarly, when standing at street intersections or on the platform waiting for the L, he angles himself toward you defensively, keeping half of his body tilted behind you so that no one could come up from behind and shove you forward into danger.

As a transplant to the Chicago, you make it your life’s mission to make Carmy take you on dates to typical touristy destinations around the city, even though he insists that they’re overrated

He complains the whole way out to Shedd Aquarium but then the two of you end up having the best time watching the fish and touching the stingrays in the touch pool. He won’t admit it, but it’s actually kind of a relief to be out of his normal environment and to have some time enjoying the city through your eyes.

Afterward, you drag him through Millennium park to see the Cloud Gate (and make lots of jokes about him being able to find the bean along the way)

When you arrive, the sun is just getting ready to set, and the reflective surface of the sculpture glows in shades of orange and pink. The stainless steel is smudged with fingerprints, but you still pull out your phone and take pictures in the mirrored surface, including your favorite photo of yourself and Carmy where he has his arms draped loosely around your waist as he presses a kiss to your temple

Because his work schedule makes it hard to plan out specific date nights, you start making a habit of texting him a picture of the ingredients for whatever dinner you’re making that night, telling him you’ve got enough food for two

When late summer gives way to a brisk autumn, you can’t help but notice the way carmy’s cheeks and the tip of his nose turn red in the cold wind as he walks to and from work everyday, so you take to greeting him with a kiss, cradling his cheeks in your hands

“I’m just helping you defrost” you explain, feeling the sharpness of his cool skin under your warm palm

(He thinks that maybe you’re defrosting him in more ways than one)

The first time you come back to his apartment after a shift at the restaurant, he clams up a bit, slightly embarrassed at the state of the place with its minimal decorations, oven full of vintage denim and nightstand cluttered with Pepto and 5 Hour Energy. It actually makes him a bit nauseous to imagine what his place must look like to you. But he’s relieved when you take it all in stride, choosing instead to flip through his stack of cookbooks and ask him how he got into vintage denim collecting.

The only thing you rib him about is his choice in peanut butter as he makes you both pb&j’s. “Really Carmen, creamy peanut butter,” you mock disgust. “What are you? Afraid of a little crunch?”

He has crunchy peanut butter in his cabinet by the next time you visit.

Carmy definitely has some trouble with an avoidant attachment style, and frequently needs his own space, especially after sharing anything with you that is particularly sensitive or vulnerable. He’s really working on being a communicative partner though, and does what he can to make sure you know that he isn’t pushing you away and that he appreciates you respecting his boundaries.

He’s always sure to make it up you out afterward though — whether it’s leaving work early enough to cook you dinner, taking you out for date night or just spending some extra time cuddling together, he’s determined to make sure you know how special you are to him.

When Carmy realizes that he’s in love with you, it scares him shitless because oh my god he really didn’t expect to ever feel this way about someone and he had pretty much accepted it as a fact of life that he’d always just be coming home to an empty apartment

The trouble with realizing that he loves you is that he absolutely obsesses over how to tell you, and he ends up acting strange and shy around you for a full week before you finally crack and ask just what the hell has gotten into him lately

“I’m sorry it’s just that I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you that I love you.”

“You love me?”

“Uh, yeah. I hope that’s ok.”

Instead of answering, you kiss him tenderly and tell him that you love him too.

#carmy berzatto X reader #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto fluff #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy x reader fluff #carmy berzatto x reader fluff

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 10:

You been stressed out lately. Yeah, me too…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"Take care, ma belle!" I said and she nodded.

"We will text every day!" she said and I smiled, as best as I could.

"Pinky promise?" I looked her in the eyes.

"Pinky promise!" she blushed a little.

After one last kiss on her forehead she walked to the car and got in, then opened the window.

"Good luck in Portimaõ, Charlie bear!" she said with that beautiful smile that made my knees go weak. JK started the car and they drove off. I walked on the streets, watching as the car turned left. And she was gone. I don’t know how long I stood there, as someone said my name.

"Charles? What are you doing in the middle of the road?" Joris asked and I turned around "Get off there, mate!"

"I was saying goodbye to Lizzie." I swallowed hard and walked back to my house, Joris following me.

"Oh… I see. It’s good for her, I guess? She wasn’t having it the easiest here, right?" he said and I looked at him a little confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked and he just shrugged his shoulders as we stepped into the elevator.

"Well, it was loud, busy, she couldn’t catch a break outside." he said hastily and I eyed his expression. In the last months I had more than once the feeling that Joris wasn’t completely honest with me, that he was hiding something. And not just him, also Riccardo, Marta and even Arthur. But I couldn’t grasp what.

"You sure that’s it?" I asked again and Joris closed his eyes for a moment "Joris?"

"There’s a video. From you and Lizzie. On your boat… when Lizzie had a little problem with… you know…" he began and my eyes widened. I knew exactly what he meant "Yeah, well anyways, someone filmed it and put it on Instagram… she saw it…"

"When was this? And why haven’t you told me that?" I was mad.

"On Friday, that’s why she asked us to not talk about it. She didn’t want to ruin your birthday…" he said and I scoffed. That’s so typical for her.

"That’s why she was coming back from the toilet looking like she cried? Not because it was all too much? It was because of that video!" I said and Joris nodded "Great. And no one told me. Were there some more posts like that over the last months?"

"Umm… yeah. A few more…" Joris admitted and I stormed out of the elevator as soon as the doors opened. As Joris walked in and closed the door I was already sitting on the sofa, looking through Instagram.

"Show me, the accounts, the videos, everything…" I insisted and he shook his head "Joris! Show me!"

"Charles, it won’t help Lizzie at all if you see them, there were really mean ones and she was relieved that you didn’t know about them. So please, don’t look at them now!" Joris pleaded and I looked for it myself, searched for Lizzie’s name as a hashtag, but after a couple of minutes I put my phone down. They were putting her down, bashing her, it wasn’t just a bunch of sexist comments that she’s overrated and compared to "real" drivers she wouldn’t stand a chance, no, there were fan accounts taking everything she was doing apart, the way she dressed, the jokes she made, the way she behaved, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Other’s were comparing her with Camille and how much prettier and well fitting Camille was for me. Which was ridiculous, Camille was pretty, no doubt, but Lizzie’s beautiful, natural, simply gorgeous. And in what way did Lizzie behave wrong? I read through some comments and they were all just nasty.

"So this has been going on for the last year?" I said after I had composed myself.

"Yeah… once I found out about it I confronted her, but you know her! She was playing it down, saying she didn’t care about it. She just wanted me to not tell you about it, because it was a little embarrassing, her words not mine, and she didn’t want you to see that…" Joris sighed.

"This stops now. I will post something." I said and picked up my phone again.

"Charles, don’t do that! These haters will blow up her phone as soon as whatever you’re planning to do is out… she’s away from it all now, she can heal! So let her do that in peace!" he pleaded and I looked at him for a while.

"I hate it when you’re right…" I mumbled and leaned back "She will be okay, right? Lizzie? She will get over all of this bs and… she’ll be the old Lizzie again?” My old Lizzie.

"I think so…" Joris answered and plopped down next to me "It’s going to be good for her, focusing on herself without… without any other thoughts."

"Yeah, she needs that now." I said and nodded. I wanted nothing more than for her to recover, not just physically, but also mentally, because as it seemed there was a lot of damage as well. I was mad at her for not telling me. But on the other hand, it was typical for her, always putting anyone else first before thinking about herself. She was the most selfless person I’ve ever known and most of the time she was this selfless because of me. That’s why it hurt even more reading her post in the evening. I knew that she was playing it down how she felt, but I didn’t know that it was this bad. How couldn’t I see it? How couldn’t I see how bad the last weeks, no the last year, was for her mental health? Maybe I should’ve focused more on her…

"So, have you thought about it?" Camille asked and I looked up at her confused "Us, moving in together?"

"Umm… well, no, not really. Sorry, there’s just so much going on right now, you know? Lizzie, the race tomorrow, the media, I just… I just hadn’t had the time to do so!" I said and Camille rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, we’ll you should focus on the race tomorrow, that’s the only important thing right now…" she sounded mad, I nodded absently and she sighed and got up "I’ll take a shower, you’re coming with me? Charles?"

"Huh? Oh, no, no I gotta go and see Andrea…" I lied and scrambled up.

"Why?" Camille asked.

"I feel a little tense in my shoulder blades, I want him to take a look…" I grabbed my phone and key card "Don’t wait up…" I left the room and leaned against the wall. Why couldn’t she stop talking about moving in together? We’re not even dating for a year!

I pushed the button for the elevator and as the door opened I stepped in without looking.

"Charles? Are you okay?" I looked up at Sebastian "You’re a little pale?"

"Umm… yeah, I just- I just… I don’t even know what to say." I mumbled and leaned against the elevator.

"Where were you going?" he asked me and I shrugged my shoulders "Alright, then I guess you’re coming with me."

The elevator doors opened and we were one floor above mine. I followed Seb and as he opened up the door to his hotel room he gesticulated for me to walk in first.

"Look, Daddy is back!" I heard Hanna say in German as Seb closed the door behind me.

Emilie and Matilda ran up to us but stopped abruptly.

"Girls, say hi to Charles!" Seb said and they smiled at me, both a little shy "Oh come on, you’ve seen him before!" he picked up Matilda and walked further into the room, signaling me to follow him. As we entered the lounge area of his suite Hanna got up from the sofa, carrying little Philipp, and gave me a little side hug.

"Hi Charles, what a pleasant surprise!" she smiled at me and sat back down "Come on, sit down!"

"I don’t want to interrupt or anything!" I said, now I was the one being a little shy.

"Oh no, you’re not interrupting! We’re just watching a movie before the kids go to bed." Hanna said and the girls started to protest.

"Nooo! Can’t we watch another movie?"

"Pleeeeeaaaaseeee!"

"No, we said one movie! And I even got you ice cream!" Seb said and gave the girls each a bowl of ice cream who sat down on the floor at the coffee table, then he sat one bowl down in front of me and Hanna and took the sleeping boy out of his mums arms "I won’t tell anyone, I promise." he winked at me and I laughed.

"Thanks!" I chuckled and took the bowl "So, what are we watching?" I looked at the girls and Matilda looked up.

"Frozen! Do you know it?" she asked me excitedly and I nodded "We just started, so you didn’t miss anything!"

"That’s good! I don’t want to miss all the good parts!" I said and she laughed, then she pressed play.

After a while Emilie got up and plopped down in between her parents and Matilda looked up at the slightly full sofa, she then looked at me and decided to scooch in next to me in the big armchair I occupied. Seb looked over and smiled at me as I was adjusting my arm so the little girl was leaning comfortably on me.

As the end credits rolled, I looked down and Matilda yawned and slowly sat up.

"You’re a nice pillow!" she chuckled a little and I laughed.

"Thank you! I think that is the best compliment I’ve ever got!" I said and she smiled.

"Alright girls, come on, time for bed!" Hanna got up and extended her hands for the girls to take "Say good night to Daddy and Charles. Come on now!" Both girls hugged Seb carefully who gave both his daughters a kiss on the cheek, then Emilie walked up to me.

"Good night, Charles." she whispered, still a little shy.

"Good night, Emilie." I smiled at her and she grabbed her mum's hand.

"Good night, Charlie!" Matilda hugged me and then walked to her mum as well.

"Good night, Matilda!" I laughed and watched them disappear into the attached bedroom.

"I think Emilie has a little crush on you!" Seb chuckled and I blushed a little "She talks a lot about you, when you’re not around, of course." he looked at me for a moment "So, why were you wandering around, looking like you’ve seen a ghost? Not knowing where to go?"

"I needed a bit of time away from… from my girlfriend…" I confessed quietly and he just nodded.

"I get that, sometimes I need a little breather as well, I mean especially now with the kids." he said and I looked up "Yeah, it gets kinda loud at times. I mean, I can’t always bribe them with ice cream and Disney movies."

"Probably not, no!" I laughed.

"So, I need a breather because I have now 3 little monsters running around, you need a breather because of your girlfriend…?" he looked at me and I sighed.

"She’s just a little clingy at the moment and wants us to move in together… but I…" I exhaled deeply, contemplating my next words.

"But you’re in love with Lizzie and you don’t know what to do?" I looked at him with wide eyes "Oh come on, Charles. The way you look at her? Talk about her? The way your face lights up whenever someone else talks about her? How you smile when you’re texting with her? I think the only person on this planet who doesn’t know about your feelings for her is Lizzie herself! And that’s because she’s just as oblivious as you!"

"Is it really that obvious?" I asked and Seb laughed.

"Well kinda. But I’m glad that you at least don’t deny it." he answered and I laughed now.

"I tried to, for years. But no, not anymore…" I said and Seb nodded.

"That’s good, but, with all due respect, why are you dating Camille then? I mean I only talked once with her and she seemed to be nice, but still?" Seb asked and I swallowed hard.

"Lizzie and I are… she’s- umm she’s the most important person for me, she was always by my side and just the sheer thought of losing her? Because she doesn’t feel the same? Or even if she feels the same, it’s not working out somehow? I think, no I know, that I couldn’t survive it!" I explained and Seb looked at me for a while.

"I think it’s clear as day that she loves you as well. But maybe she has the same fears? So I think you should just tell her. And break up with that girlfriend of yours that you’re clearly not loving. It’s not fair to her and for yourself." he said and I nodded slowly.

"Maybe, but for now Lizzie has to focus on herself. She needs to focus on her recovery. I promised her I would do anything to help her get into F1. So she needs to be ready when I finally and miraculously keep that promise." I said determined and Seb nodded.

"Yeah, about that… you don’t know about it from me… but back when I was driving for BMW Sauber, one of the managing engineers there was Felix Bayer. He’s heavily involved in the upcoming Audi F1 team… we stayed in touch over the years. And it looks like we might see them way earlier on the grid than we all thought." Seb was smirking a little.

"Do you think they would consider Lizzie?" I asked excitedly and Seb nodded slowly.

"They want a young driver and an experienced one. And they want one German driver. Do you still have all of your old videos from karting? Perfect. Maybe someone should edit a little application video for Lizzie, highlighting her abilities and strengths. And then maybe someone should send it to Felix…" Seb raised his eyebrows.

"Maybe someone should do that!" I answered.

"She’s already on their radar, but you know, a little advertising never killed anybody." he chuckled.

"She is?" I asked.

"Since last season… but they’re a little worried about her recovery though… I said to Felix that if anyone can do it, then it’s Lizzie." Seb stated and I nodded.

"That is true." I smiled, thinking about our dream of both driving in F1 might be coming true. Finally. "Alright. I leave you to it." I said and got up, as Seb wanted to get up as well I just shook my head "No, stay. He looks so relaxed. Don’t wake him. I’ll find my way out alone." he nodded and leaned back down.

"Good night, Charles. Rest up well for tomorrow!" he said and smiled at me.

"Good night, Seb! You too!" I walked to the door but stopped and turned around "And Seb? Thank you! For everything! I will miss you next season. A lot."

"I’m still on the grid, kiddo, you can always come to me, no matter what!" he said and I smiled.

"Thank you." I left.

P4. Not the worst result. But still no win. Not even a podium. Camille left already and I was sitting in my drivers room. Calming myself down a little. The media was asking me only about Carlos today, how I felt with him being so good as he’s going to be my new team mate. The internet made it only worse. All the comments about how he will dominate me next season, how he will be the clear number 1 driver. That all was still in my head as Lizzie called and I tried my best to hide it from her, I failed, as always. She just knew me too well.

"You shouldn’t look so relieved when your girlfriend tells you she won’t come to the race track because she’s sick?" Andrea said as I hung up with Camille.

"I’m not! It’s just, it’s better like this for her if she’s sick! I don’t want her to come if she’s not feeling well!" I said and Andrea just shook his head.

"Sure, if you say so." he mumbled and waited for me to get back into position "How is Lizzie doing?"

"She’s good. Being in Switzerland seems to really help her…" I answered and he smiled.

"She’s one of the strongest people out there, that’s why you and her are this close!"

"Because she’s so strong?"

"No, because you’re both strong. But I know that she helped you through a lot and I think you and her are good for each other. It’s like you’re soulmates, so yeah…"

"I get it."

"Let’s get you into your car."

I closed my eyes for a moment and focused on the silence as someone tapped on my shoulder.

"Seb?" I was confused.

"Look over in the box!" he said and I turned my head.

Lizzie. Smiling and waving at me. Here in Monza to support me. I smiled and closed the visor.

The whole race I thought about her, how I wanted nothing more than to make her proud so when I jumped out the car after finishing on the podium, I walked over to my team as I saw her standing a bit away from them. I ran up to her, picked her up, hugged her tight to me and twirled her around. She was here because of me. Interrupting her recovery for me. Why was she so perfect.l?

Lizzie and I talked the entire ride back into the alps, JK in the car in front of us stopped in front of a cozy looking house. And I parked next to his car. Lizzie, almost half asleep, got out of the car, stretching a little. She grabbed my hand and pulled me with her.

"Come on, we’re just in time to see the sunrise!" she said and we sat down on the porch. Her head on my shoulder. After a while I heard her breathing even out and realised she fell asleep. I gently picked her up and JK showed me the way to her room where I laid her down, took her shoes and jacket off and tucked her in. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and left her room.

"How is she doing?" I asked JK as I sat down on the sofa and he closed his book.

"She’s doing good, she’s headstrong, that’s good, she really powers through the recovery… at least the physical one." he said and sat up "There is a lot of trauma hidden behind her smile, a lot of anxiety, fear. I need to figure out how I can get that out of her."

"She’s not opening up? I thought you guys were really close?" I asked him and he chuckled.

"We are close, I have to admit, with none of my other patients before I bonded this fast. And she confides in me with a lot of things… but there are things she’s keeping to herself, issues we need to tackle otherwise we won’t progress." he answered.

"How can I help? You want me to try and talk to her?" I offered and JK sighed.

"There is something you can do, please listen to me, you won’t like what I’m about to say, but bear with me, okay? You and Lizzie share more than just a normal bond, it’s more than friendship. Your emotions are almost tied to one another as it seems. In the week after your race in Portimaõ? She was demotivated, in a foul mood, always thinking about you, how you sounded in this message, or on this call… she’s focusing too much on you instead of herself. And that is at her given state suboptimal. And it’s also not really healthy for you, thinking constantly about her recovery instead of focusing on your races!" he explained and I waited for him to continue "What I’m saying is, you both need to focus on yourself. And I think in order to do that, we should restrict your contact, don’t give me that look, please wait, tell her the things she needs to know. I’m back in Maranello, back home, I’m in Turkey now. That’s it. Whatever she’s texting you, don’t reply. No matter how many times she’s calling you. Don’t answer your phone. I know it sounds hard, believe me it will be hard for her when the one person she always confides in, the one person who is the most important one, cuts her out like that. And that’s what I need. l need her to break. As soon as she lets all the negativity and thoughts that consume her right now go, I will be able to help her mentally as well. But she has to open up. And she’s not doing it on her own, so I have to push her. And this is the fastest way."

"You want me to ghost her? To cut her out completely? She will not just break, JK! She will be devastated! She will hate me! I can’t do that to her! I can’t hurt her like that!" I was shocked by what he asked me to do.

"She won’t hate you! As soon as she’s accepting that we need to do more for her mental health and we’re making progress in this direction, I will tell her the truth! She will be mad, definitely, but she loves you, Charles. She could never hate you! Think about it!" JK got up and left me alone with my thoughts.

Was he right? Was this the way to help her? By breaking her heart? By ghosting her? It will kill me to not be able to talk to her, but this isn’t about me, it’s about Lizzie. And if JK thinks this is the way to help her, then I would do it. I would do everything for her, just how she would do everything for me.

After we took a long walk, we picked up some groceries from a little store in the village and some kids recognised us, it was sweet that they also knew Lizzie and showed her nothing but love, after the comments in the media over the last months this must’ve been a good feeling for her and I was more than happy to take pictures with her and the kids.

"They loved you, ma belle!" I smiled at her as we walked back to the house and saw how her cheeks were turning slightly pink.

"I think they were more interested in you, but they were sweet anyways!" she said and I pulled her into my side.

"They asked you first if you are who they think you are! So I’d say they were quite happy meeting you!" I said and Lizzie just laughed a little.

"Whatever!" she mumbled and the rest of the way we were walking in silence.

JK left me and Lizzie in charge of the toppings and took care of the fire and the dough and after some time geh air was filled with the smell of fire, dough and fresh tomatoes. I didn’t know if it was the pizza itself, the fresh mountain air or Lizzie’s presence, but the pizza tasted better than any pizza I had before. According to Lizzie she felt the same, although she wasn’t showing her appreciation by eating the pizza. I’ve seen in the last weeks that she was eating not much, or sometimes even nothing, but she always said it’s because of the medication she was taking. As JK left, he signaled her to eat more and she just sighed, grabbing another slice although not eating it. Her answer to my question was almost the same as always before, not really hungry, the medications, always full because of JKs superfoods. I knew she was only trying to change the topic when she joked about pineapple on her pizza, but I jumped right in there, asking her if there was something wrong with her brain. The second the words had left my mouth, I regretted them, I apologised, but she wouldn’t let me, saying it was okay, which it wasn’t. How could I say something like this? How stupid was I? After that video? I must’ve hurt her but she hid it, like she always did.

But this time it was different. Usually she would make a bad joke and laugh it off. This time she shushed me with a finger on my lips, looking me deep in the eyes.

"Shhh… stop, please! Stop apologising. It’s fine. I’m fine. Okay?" I nodded slowly, mesmerised by her natural beauty, her eyes sparkling, left index finger still on my lips, right hand on my cheek. So close I could see the grey swirls in her stormy blue eyes. I put one hand on her hip, the other covering hers on my cheek. I closed my eyes, swallowing hard. Every fibre in my body aching for her, screaming at me to finally kiss her, to finally make her mine. I opened my eyes and leaned in closer.

"Good night guys." JK’s voice made us both flinch and pull away from each other. I cleared my throat, feeling the heat rising up my chest into my cheeks, I ruffled my hair looking at her.

"It’s getting late? I think I’ll take a long shower and then go to bed!" she said and yawned.

"Yeah, you go showering, I’ll take care of the dishes!" I nodded and grabbed our plates and glasses and then walked away, at the door I turned around "I’ll put your pizza in the fridge!" I watched her get up and walk inside. My heart was racing. I almost kissed her. And it felt right. Every second of it felt right. My body was craving her. My mind was craving her. It felt so fucking right. But it wasn’t. I wasn’t right. She wouldn’t be so shocked and awkward if it felt right for her as well. I sighed and washed the dishes. I put some cling film over Lizzie’s pizza and put it in the fridge. I leaned against the counter and took a deep breath. Something like this couldn’t happen again. I stood there for another minute as my phone vibrated. Camille. She was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. What I was doing to her wasn’t fair. I should at least try and give her all my love and dedication, like she did to me. But I just couldn’t. It wasn’t her face I wanted to see, waking up in the morning. It wasn’t her I was thinking of before I fell asleep at night. And it certainly wasn’t her I wanted to kiss after a good race. But she was happy. Hurting her just because I am an idiot? That didn’t feel right. But the plan I had, falling in love with her over the course of the last months, forgetting the feelings for Lizzie, didn’t work. Not even in the slightest, a couple of minutes ago clearly showed that. But what else could I do? At least having Camille as girlfriend stopped all of social media to paint me and Lizzie as the perfect couple. Lovers. The questions about us stopped almost completely. That was good. Lizzie thought I was in love with Camille, so she wouldn’t get suspicious, that was good as well. And Camille was happy. She loved the attention she was getting, loved that some brands reached out to her, gifting her designer clothes, jewelry, hand bags. Getting a big Instagram following. At least she got something positive, if I couldn’t love her the way she deserved it. Maybe JK was right. I had to detach myself from Lizzie for some time, not just for her sake, also for mine. My phone vibrated again, this time it was a message from Seb, checking in on how we were doing. I replied to him that we’re alright and walked back into my room. I hoped that tomorrow, Lizzie and I wouldn’t think about what almost happened between us.

"That lake was freezing!" I said as we walked back up to the house and Lizzie next to me only chuckled. What happened last night thankfully didn’t make things awkward.

"You get used to it after some time!" she said and as she took her next step she slipped slightly but before I could react JK held her to his side and she smiled at him "Thanks." she laughed as JK only smiled back and held her close to his side the whole way back.

"Hot shower and then some tea and lunch, I have a new flavour." JK said and Lizzie looked up at him.

"Please no more ginger!" she almost pleaded and JK only laughed.

"Oh come on! It’s healthy!" he laughed and Lizzie just groaned as we stepped on the porch and JK took our wet towels and hung them over the banister and Lizzie and I took off our shoes.

"Oh wait, here you go, princess." JK pulled down her zipper as he walked past her as if it’s the most normal thing to do, it almost seemed natural how he did it. And did he call her princess? I’ve seen that they’ve become really close, but what was going on here? It’s highly unprofessional to flirt with your patient or your therapist. Was it just flirting?

"Charles? You good there bruh?" JK asked and I realised that Lizzie was gone as I looked around "She’s under the shower. Come on, let's get ready for lunch." and with that he walked inside.

Was there something going on between them? And for how long now? I walked in and went to my room as I noticed the door to Lizzie’s room was open, just a crack. I walked past it as I heard JKs voice and I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn’t help but to spare a glance inside, just to see Lizzie, only with a towel covering her front, standing in front of JK, back turned to him and he was gently stroking her back. I swallowed hard and quietly left. Back in my room I went straight into the shower, getting rid of the wetsuit and standing under the hot water stream. It only made sense that they would start to feel more than just a normal patient/therapist bond. They lived together in this truly romantic place with no TV, bad wifi and almost no service. They only had each other. I wanted Lizzie to be happy, that it was with her therapist, well I guess at least he’s a decent guy. I turned off the water and got out. Dressing up and then checking my phone, 7 missed calls from Camille. I sighed. Lizzie is happy. JK‘s a great guy. I had a girlfriend. It all was good. One last moment to relinquish in the silence and then I called Camille. Feeling absolutely nothing but jealousy.

Leaving her didn’t feel right. Leaving her knowing I wouldn’t be able to call and text her felt worse. The whole drive back to Maranello I thought about Lizzie and JK, I even asked myself if he only wanted me to stop contacting her because he felt threatened by me? Ridiculous. No. I had to trust him on this one. He will focus on Lizzie. I will focus on myself. That was all I could do for now.

Reading all her messages was truly heartbreaking and I hated myself whenever I just swiped them away. Ignoring her calls when I knew that she was probably almost in tears because I didn’t pick up after her sadder getting messages. But I promised JK I wouldn’t contact her, only giving her a head up whenever I traveled somewhere. I was fully focused on my races now. Ignoring Camille mostly, trying to get as much distance between us as possible. I had to figure out how I could break up with her, without breaking her heart. I dreaded it. I tried to keep myself busy, stayed in Maranello and tried to talk to her as little as possible. I was shocked when she stood in front of me in Turkey after the race, hugging me, taking my hand in hers and walking with me back into the Ferrari hospitality.

"I missed you, so I thought, I’d surprise you!" she almost yelled and I forced myself to smile at her.

The next week I spent in Maranello, before I returned home for the weekend to prepare for the last stint of the season. Camille would be gone for the next 3 weeks, a girls trip with her best friends to Mexico and I was more than happy about it. At least like this I didn’t have to feel guilty all the time for not breaking up with her already.

I was just boarding my plane to Bahrain, as my phone buzzed. Lizzie. I wanted to swipe the message away, as I saw the first words of the message: JK told me. I’m not mad… I swallowed and opened the message as soon as I sat down. JK told her everything. She wasn’t mad, she understood, but she was still hurt, especially that it seemed to be so easy for me to cut her out like this. I immediately sent her an answer that it wasn’t easy at all, that it broke my heart reading her desperate messages and not being able to respond. I told her how sorry I was but I just wanted to help her and JK said this was the right way. Before I could wait for an answer I had to switch off my phone. As soon as I landed and switched it on I checked my messages. Nothing. Now she was the one ghosting me.

"What do you mean, you’re not coming home after the last race?" Camille sounded annoyed.

"I’ll have to stay for some tests for the new season, also some tyre tests…" I began but Camille just scoffed.

"Okay, that doesn’t explain why you’re not here until one day before New Year’s Eve?" her voice sounded harsh.

"Camille, I’ll stay here until the 17th, then I fly to Maranello for some simulator work and then I’m celebrating Christmas with my family…" and she interrupted me again.

"And why can’t I celebrate with your family as well? I’m your girlfriend? Why can’t I come wherever you’re celebrating?" she almost shouted.

"Because I can’t invite you to someone else’s home! It’s just a small gathering. We’re not renting out a huge house somewhere! We’re staying at someone’s home." I tried to explain.

"Someone’s home? You’re kidding me, right? You’re fucking kidding me! You go to Lizzie! You’re celebrating our first Christmas together with Lizzie instead of me!" now she was really furious "I can’t believe you! I’m your girlfriend! If you don’t want to stay here and celebrate at home, you should at least invite me! But no! Not when you’re going to Saint Lizzie! I was by your side and supported you last year! Not her! But fine! Celebrate with your holy Lizzie!" and then she hung up. Problem solved. For now.

The last race was done, P13, the tests were done. Tyre tests as well. I made my way to Maranello for some final simulator tests before I would head to Ludwigsburg on Sunday. I was coming back from a break as I heard two Ferrari employees speak about Lizzie being removed from the FDA. I was confused, I knocked on Mattia’s office but he wasn’t inside. One of his assistants told me he was in one of the conference rooms with some Ferrari officials. I thanked her and walked to the conference rooms and glanced through the glass door. Mattia, Massimo Rivola and some officials whose names I didn’t know sat there, discussing something. I knocked and Mattia looked up. He nodded and I stepped in.

"Charles, how can I help you?" he asked and I looked between him and Massimo.

"Is it true?" I asked and Mattia and Massimo exchanged some very guilty looks "You’re kicking Lizzie out of the FDA?"

"Charles, listen, it’s not that easy…" began Massimo but I interrupted him.

"What did she do wrong?" I asked.

"She didn’t do anything wrong, Charles. It’s just that we have only a limited number of spots within the FDA and it’s unfair for the other talented drivers if a spot is taken up by someone who isn’t driving anymore!" Massimo explained.

"But when she comes back and starts driving again? Who will support her then?"

"You mean if she’s driving again?"

"No, when! She’s working so hard on it! She will return and then she will need support and help to get back in! No one will let her drive for them if you drop her!" I had to refrain myself from yelling.

"Charles, we know this means a lot to you. But at the moment, this can’t be our concern anymore." Massimo sighed.

"Can’t be your concern anymore? She almost died! She didn’t do anything wrong! She won 2 championships under your wing! She always highlighted how great you are and how loved and supported she felt! But you just… you just drop her like she’s worth nothing!" I was furious but also desperate, they couldn’t do this to Lizzie.

"We’re sorry, Charles. But the decision is made. The statement will be released in the next hour." Massimo said, his words final.

"Who told her about it?" I asked after a moment.

No answer, only more guilty looks.

"You didn’t even tell her? There will be a statement out and she knows nothing? What the fuck?!" this time I shouted at him and Mattia got up.

"Charles, you're upset, I understand you. We all love Lizzie! But this is business. We have to do what’s best for Ferrari. Please understand. Go now, go home and have a nice winter break. No, Charles. This decision is final." Mattia tried to calm me down.

"Don’t release the statement. Not yet. I’ll see her tomorrow. Let me tell her before she has to find it out through a statement." I pleaded.

"We have an email ready that we wanted to send out before the statement will be released…" Massimo said and I nodded.

"Send it tomorrow in the afternoon, I’ll talk to her before then…" I said and Massimo and Mattia nodded "Merry Christmas." I left the room and walked straight out of the factory. I took a deep breath and got in the car. I decided to leave immediately. The faster I’m leaving, the faster I‘ll be there.

Ludwigsburg. The first time after we left for Monaco she would be home again. The first time in months I would see her family again. And the first time I would see Lizzie again, after our almost kiss. I was nervous. How do you tell your best friend, that you just ghosted for weeks, that she got kicked out of the FDA, because they couldn’t keep her in, occupying a spot without driving for them.

Merry fucking Christmas.

————————————————————————

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 10 is out - writing a whole chapter out of Charles POV was really fun!

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram.

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc 16 #charles leclerc f1 #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x female driver #female driver #formula one #formula 1 #f1 2023 #formula 1 x female reader #formula 1 x female driver #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 imagine #cl 16 #cl16 x reader #cl16 #cl16 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 x female driver #f1 fandom #f1 #scuderia ferrari #ferrari #best friends to lovers

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

Maso! Do you have anything for our EVP birthday boy Matthew? I’m sure you can write something awesome for him

Yes babe, I can! And although it’s not Matthew’s birthday, I still did it because at last I finally finished something 👏. And no, I didn’t write EVP!Matthew, just regular Matt, it was what worked for this so I hope you get to enjoy it either way.

Also, I didn’t put the translation to the lyrics but you guys let me know if you’d like me to translate the entire song (google translate will fuck up some of the phrases as per usual), but for now I’ll leave it like this. And yes, I highly recommend you to listen to the song because it’s *chef’s kiss* the melody and flow is ugh, so good. Hope you like this, love💋

A/N: Huge shout out to @theworldofotps and for supporting me through this. Love you babe 🥰

*Written in Matt’s POV*

“Eu quero a sorte de um amor tranquilo

Com sabor de fruta mordida…”

The beauty of the known is often looked upon and taken for granted as something that shouldn’t be cherished. Because it’s comfortable, unexciting, predictable, trustworthy, and completely capable of making you yawn with boredom. But the thing is that the true beauty lies in what is expected, what you already know, in all of the things you can replay in your mind even before they happen.

You know it all, from the long pauses to the hesitation, the doubt in every word silently marked with an interrogation point. The uncertainty beneath the “I made a chicken pie for dinner”, it’s all so foolish to some, but to me, it’s the most wholesome thing that could ever exist in this world.

Love is overrated, not because it is a frivolous thing but because people often over-glamourize it as everything that it is not. Real love is not being excited to see your significant other every day, it’s not the urge to touch them nor the need to hear their voice. Real love is not marked by excitement but in fact, it’s nothing more than comfort.

When we’re young we have this vision that love will sweep us off our feet every day for the rest of our lives, and then reality hits us and love becomes everything that’s not advertised on TV shows or movies.

“Ser teu pão, ser tua comida

Todo amor que houver nessa vida…”

There is that raw excitement in the beginning, but after a while - like every new experience in life - you grow out of it and the only thing that remains is the person you know well enough to predict everything they do, from behavior to clothes, from speech pattern to preferences of food, drinks, movies, books, colors, vacation…you can name their routine as if it was your own, and that is the true beauty of love.

Not the eagerness to be together, but the comfortable silence as you watch the news. It’s the casual “Do you need something from the grocery store?”, it’s the care, the mute expression of true feelings, the lack of necessity to say anything at all.

True excitement lies in asking “Do you want some prunes on your greek yogurt?” just so you can see their nose scrunch up in disgust before the already-known answer of “Of course not! Yuck” fills up your ears and you silently repeat it along with them.

“E ser artista no nosso convívio

Pelo inferno e céu de todo dia

Pra poesia que a gente nem vive

Transformar o tédio em melodia…”

If anyone asked me “If you could, would you do it again?”, my answer would be “Absolutely”. I would choose the same woman, over and over again. I would experience the highs and especially the lows with a smile on my face because I know the outcome is worth it.

What makes our love special is not the two honeymoons spent on the Caribbean sea, but all of our endless crying and praying sessions on the kitchen floor at 3 am because we had no idea how we would pay the rent.

That’s why as I stare at her now, swiping the living room floor while singing the very same song that I now know the lyrics all too well, I’d confidently say “I do” all over again.

“Is everything ok?” She asked, after suddenly settling the broom to the side to skip the song currently playing on the speakers.

“Yeah, why?” I ask, incapable of keeping the soft smile off my lips. Sipping on my cup of coffee, I mentally mimicked her as she squinted her eyes “Are you sure?” She asks, a hint of uncertainty coating her words, “You’re looking at me funny”.

“Funny?” I chuckled “That’s an interesting choice of word. I wouldn’t say ‘funny’ but rather something deeper”.

“Todo amor que houver nessa vida.

E algum remédio que me dê alegria”

“Oh yeah?” She teased, “Like what?”

“Admiration perhaps?” I offer, before hiding an amused smile behind the rim of the cup.

“Nah” She clicked her tongue in sarcasm but was unable to hide the gleam of happiness in her eyes. “Get a life, you weirdo”.

“I already have a life” I keep staring at her, and the once amused smile turns into a full toothy grin.

“Rather boring I’d say” She teased, throwing one of the couch pillows at me.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, dove”.

Tags: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @daddyhausen , @melissahausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @bayleymania , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @moxkindagirl , @sunshinevirus , @im-just-a-mississippi-girl , @ripleyswhore

#matt jackson x reader #matt jackson imagine #matt jackson fanfiction #matt jackson #masochist writes #the young bucks #young bucks

[igglemouse]

Episode 2 - Watching Midnight

I felt a little bad because you know what, I could have invited him to work out with me and that could have been my quasi-date? I don't know but he's here all the same and of course the subject of romance is on both of our minds. It is Love Day, after all.

"I was thinking you'd be out on a date yourself," I tease him. He's dressed to work out but it looks like he's just coming in. He prefers to workout at night I think? 

"Ah, you know, I thought about it but I'm not sure the girl I'm after is that into me," he says rather suspiciously, making me wonder if I am the girl in question. "It's cool though, whatever happens, happens. I'm more surprised that you are spending it here at the gym. I thought you’d have a long line of suitors."

"Well..." Maybe I would if I put myself out there? I don’t think I’m ugly or anything. "I am dating myself and the options I’ve given myself are this gym or home alone with my dog, a glass of wine, and movies on my very tiny TV."

At that he laughs. "Yeah, I think the gym is a better option. More productive, at least, although chilling with your dog is cool too." On that we can agree. I was about to expand on that idea but Lucas moves right on. "If it weren't for us being co-workers I'd have asked you out, you know?"

"Ummm..." I'm not at all sure how to react to that and so I go quiet and just look nervously away. Eventually I can tell that he's not going to say anything until I respond properly. "I would have said yes."

And there was the truth put out before the both of us. We were mutually attracted to one another but perhaps far too dedicated at our jobs to really give it a try. We were both new to the force and trying our best to make a good first impression. Dating each other would probably just complicate things and make a hard job even harder.

"You know, maybe this police thing is overrated," he starts to say, jokingly I should add. I think. "I could always try being a fighter, Unc would love that!"

"We could just give it a try any ways and-"

He cuts me off with a blow of his cheeks and a firm shake of his head. "Wench would know and she wouldn't have it. Trust me."

"Well..." well? Well I guess it simply isn't meant to be? I find myself disagreeing with that but it feels like Lucas isn't really willing to take the risk. I don't see the big deal personally since he's never in the office any ways and should work get in the way of relationships? 

Nothing I can really do about it, either he’s so into me that he’s willing to try it out despite us being co-workers or he isn’t. I am but it takes two to tango...

Episode List - Next

#the sims #the sims 4 #sims legacy #iggleverse #sims 4 legacy #my sims #generation 1 #talla castaneda rebirth #Lucas Fonseca

[pinkprimrose05]

ARC-V Month Day 16: Actually, He Would Say That

Look, we all like our cast with their pros and their cons, but sometimes there's just something... missing, when you look at canon portrayal. Some more depth. Some trivial details and silly nitpicks, to add to their flair... which are exactly what today is all about. Show us your headcanons and most random thoughts!

Ah yes, headcanons: my favorite way to patch up the swiss cheese holes in any story ever, and the personal cherry on top I place whwn there are no holes to patch. For someone who claims to have a lot of them, I've shared a rather small amount of my headcanons so far... but that changes today!

___________

1- In a world where the counterparts stay separate, when all is said and done, the Lancers decide to keep in contact at Sawatari's suggestion -shocker, I know- and so they make a groupchat to talk about mundane life and things that strike their fancy. Said groupchat is... actually decently normal considering its members, but you still see flashes of the weirdest shit sometimes- like Dennis' massive collection of kaomojis, Reiji's 10-page long essays on why black coffee is overrated, Shun's inability to stand back and watch this nerdy fuck slander the superior coffee blend, Serena's copious cat stickers and reaction pics, Tsukikage's concerning stash of blackmail screenshots (99% of which is enabled by Sawatari, much to banana's mortfication), and Yuuya's oddly random, unprompted threats of homicide that he never fails to end with an innocent :D

2- Shuuzou has adopted all kids in the messy Akaba/Kurosaki/Hiiragi family tree, some metaphorically, most literally. He even got Himika to sign off custody of Reira, but left Reiji to his own devices because he just- doesn't know how to go about it with the guy. He's still invited to family & friend gatherings, however, and ends up getting called "son" no less than seven times in front of the whole family and the Sakakis. Legend has it that Reiji is still looking for ways to disappear into the ground to this day. Don't get him wrong, he appreciates the sentiment, but everytime he hears the word he straight up bluescreens.

3- As little screentime as they get to actually appear and talk, the monster spirits are very much still willing to communicate with humans- with a few exceptions, of course. Some of the older spirits like the Magistus quartet and Agents have strong reservations toward making themselves known after the dimension split fiasco(s), but then there's little ones like the Wights and the Ghostricks, who just spontaneously spawn into the human world on Halloween (to the dismay of Maiami City's police department, which had to contend with 57 reports of vandalism and stolen candy and various small acts of mischief the first time it happened).

4- The reason behind the Performapals' synergy and eventual archetypal overlap with Odd-Eyes actually goes a few ways back to one of their shows as a wandering troupe. While preparing for departure, Hip Hippo stumbled upon a lone dragon roaming in the wild on their own, and told his companions about it. One hour in and lots of excitable discussion later, their troupe gained a special new member who would soon become their main attraction, and together they resolved to improve their talents, to put on the best show under their master's conduct.

___________

Admittedly... this is quite a bit shorter than I wanted it to be. There are still many headcanons I've yet to put into words, buuuut I'm afraid this submission is a tad late already, so I'll have to ever-so-subtly shove some of those into written works and post the rest on their own later (someday. sometime. eventually. for sure.)

Thanks for sticking around, anyway- here's a cookie for your trouble! 'Till next time ;D

#arcvmonth2023 #arcvmonth #yugioh #yugioh arc v #pink's works #pink's silly aus #long post

[happyandticklish]

I Would Give Up the World For Your Touch

Summary: Commission for @ticklishraspberries! I was stoked to write for these dorks; I’ve been italicizing DEH in my fandoms list for so long in the hopes that someone would request it for anything and that day has finally come~ Miguel doesn’t get his personality super explored in the book aside from what Connor tells us, so I kind of just went a direction with it, which I hope works for how you see him. I hope you enjoy!! 

Notes: Weed has a habit of making Connor honest and Miguel mischievous, a combination that’s bound to end poorly. 

He wasn’t quite sure when it had happened, but somewhere along the way Connor had transformed from being a fully fledged human being into a world of senses. Everything was so much clearer that night. The smoke from his blunt trailed in the air above him forming strange spirals in his air that he traced idly with his finger when the mood took him. Cool, October winds snuggled under his jacket making him shudder in a manner that was almost worth it if it meant Miguel’s arm curling around his shoulder, drawing him into the comfortable warmth of another human body.

There was a part of him that yearned to point out that typically friends didn’t cuddle. Or stay up all night talking just to hear the other’s voice. Or kiss at a party and then pretend like nothing had happened the entire week after.

There was a part of him that wanted to say a lot of things, and yet he didn’t. Possibly because he was a coward. Possibly because he couldn’t handle bringing them to that level of intimacy yet. Possibly it was all those reasons and a million more all tied neatly together with the threat of Miguel’s rejection.

Possibly it had to do with the smile on Miguel’s face whenever he looked at Connor, and the way Connor would do just about anything to keep that smile from disappearing.

“You’re happy,” Miguel guessed, raising an eyebrow as he brought him shooting back to the present. “Snuggly.”

“I’m fucking cold,” Connor mumbled in response, the answer not sounding even remotely convincing as he squirmed impatiently to get closer to him. He knew he was being clingy, but it was hard not to be in this state. He wasn’t sure whether or not this kind of thing was allowed, whether or not they were at the ‘cuddle stage’ of whatever the fuck they were at this point, but Miguel hadn’t shoved him off yet and it felt too nice to stop now. “We should go inside or something. Watch a movie and make hot coco, some stupid teenage shit like that.”

Miguel chuckled and even that sound was smooth and languid in Connor’s addled brain. He wished he could capture the sound to replay on repeat during the nights when everything was harder and reality was more difficult to hold onto to—something to tether him. “Maybe I could convince my mom that I wasn’t high, but you look like you’re on another planet right now. I vote we stay here a bit longer and wait till you mellow out. Besides, what’s better teenage behavior than sneaking out to look at constellations and get high instead of doing the homework you are most definitely putting off right now?”

“Constellations are overrated," Connor grumbled. "I hear heat’s what’s in right now—really making a comeback now that that whole summer thing’s over with. Besides, it’s hardly sneaking out if we’re in your parent’s driveway.”

His words were slow and sleepy, a reflection of his current state. Miguel was distractedly tracing his arm, and each cycle forced Connor’s eyelids to drift gradually shut. If it wasn’t so cold, he might have been asleep right now, but as it was it was impossible to fully relax when any moment an icy gust could come to startle him right back awake.

And Miguel. Miguel, who kept nudging him each time he started to drift off, pointing to a new set of stars that Connor couldn’t care less about.

“And that one’s Gemini. Stands for—”

“The twins, yeah, yeah, we get it.” Connor took another drag, delighting in the smoky exhale it caused. “Anyone who’s taken even a year of astrology knows that, you’re not as impressive as you think you are.”

A sharp glance in his direction. “Really?”

Connor narrowed his eyes. “Yes, really.”

“Because last I heard, you haven’t shown up to class in the last, what was it—since freshmen year? So, when you take that under consideration, I really don’t see where you would have found the time to even take an astrology class—”

“Oh, fuck off—”

There was a shove, followed by an answering shove and a tumble of laughter that descended into several lazy hits. It was clumsy and haphazard and it was clear it was more an excuse to touch the other than anything else. Connor was still holding the blunt and laughing while he tried to ward him off with one hand, and Miguel was getting handsier and more creative, poking and pinching at his arms while Connor hissed out in protest.

A well-placed poke to the side had Connor yelping out an admittance of defeat, but Miguel barely noticed until Connor was giggling and scrambling under him, whacking his shoulder weakly.

“Get off you dick, that shit fucking tickles—!”

There was a pause in the scuffle, not long enough to provide Connor relief, but enough to be noticeable as Miguel processed the sentence. “You’re ticklish?”

In a sober state of mind, Connor could have deflected the statement. He could have shoved Miguel off, made up some bullshit lie, created enough distance between them to make sure Miguel couldn’t try anything. Instead, he continued to struggle weakly to get Miguel off and muttered out a ‘No’ so unconvincing that it was hardly even a protest.

High Connor was a menace to Actual Connor, and later, he decided, he was going to have to have some very serious words with the former about his decision-making processes.

Connor yelped as Miguel’s intentions flipped in an instant, hands rapidly devouring every inch of torso they could grab, slipping under his shirt to get at his bare skin. The silly giggles from before quickly became desperate and panicked as Connor did his level best to curl up without burning either himself or Miguel with the still lit blunt.

Miguel hardly seemed to care, so delighted was he in this new discovery. “You’re ticklish. That’s—do you know how amazing that is? How can someone as eternally grumpy and cynical as you possibly be ticklish? All this time I’ve been listening to your smart-ass comments on every little decision of mine, when apparently all it takes is a little poke and you’re in stitches.”

“I’m n-nahat fuhuhucking tihihi—ehe, tihihicklish! Shihit!”

It was hardly a substantial refute, but it was hard to form sentences when all his thoughts were devoted to Miguel’s hands which were touching skin now, touching him, and he couldn’t even enjoy it because every minuscule touch was so damn tickly. He could feel each poke acutely, their effects doubling and tripling up until it felt like there had to be far more than only two hands tickling him.

All of this would have been difficult enough to deal with on its own, but he was running into a much bigger problem.

Logically, Connor knew laughter was a completely normal reaction to tickling. He’d experienced it as a kid and even engaged in it a bit himself before things had grown so uncomfortable and disjointed with him and Zoe. He knew that the utterly embarrassing and stupidly helpless giggles practically ripping out of his mouth were natural and nothing to be ashamed of. He knew he should be able to relax into it and allow the oddly pleasant sensations to wash over him until it felt like his own skin was in on the action.

And yet.

Even as his thoughts were consumed by the distracting fingers drifting towards his hips, he couldn’t help but focus on everything else around the theoretically cute scene. He was overly aware of the scrunch of his neck against his chin, the way his eyes practically disappeared into his head when he squeezed them shut, the blotchy red color overtaking his face, and the sweat almost certainly accumulating under his hoodie from all the squirming. And the laughter. Squeaky, high-pitched, babbling laughter like he was five years old all over again.

If there had been any part of Miguel that had wanted to try that kiss again, surely it had shriveled up and died by now.

Connor scrambled for Miguel’s hands, insistent on ending this to save himself even a tad bit of dignity but the latter was relentless. He seemed to have a talent for finding each spot that made Connor want to crawl out of his own skin, which forced Connor to jerk his hands back in quick protection. Miguel’s hands were buried under his arms—which Connor was sure were sweaty and gross by now—and now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the last time he had washed this particular hoodie, but it tickled far too much for him to even try to communicate any kind of apology for it.

“Wow, Murphy.” Miguel whistled softly, more impressed than mocking. “I think this is the most expressive I’ve seen you since… well, since ever, to be honest. You’re making me feel ticklish just looking at you, jesus christ. I would feel bad, but honestly you look far too cute like this for me to regret it.”

The word ‘cute’ reverberated in Connor’s head like a drum echo, a constant beat of confusion as he fell into another fit of cackles when Miguel experimentally dug his thumbs in. Admittedly, he didn’t have many other friends aside from Miguel but he was pretty sure they didn’t call each ‘cute’ if they wanted to stay just that—friends.

They didn’t kiss each other either, but Miguel had been drunk, and so had Connor if he was being honest; he wasn’t sure if Miguel even remembered anything from that night. And now he was high and Connor couldn’t help a pang of annoyance that these ‘moments’ never happened when either of them were sober so that Connor could at least get a clear read on them.

He wanted to grab Miguel and interrogate him, pin him down and demand an explanation for the behavior, but the weed was making his movements slow and it was hard to do anything but giggle like an idiot under current circumstances. So instead, he resorted to the only method he could think of in his hazy state—he decided to fight fire with fire.

A flinch. Tiny, but there, when Connor reached out and grazed over Miguel’s ribs. It was a haphazard swipe, born out of desperation and impulse, but it was enough to slow down Miguel’s movements enough that Connor could seize the upper hand. Another swipe, followed by another, and another, and then a poke and a pinch, and suddenly Miguel was stumbling back into the cluster of discarded backpacks behind them.

The switch to defense meant that his hands were too occupied protecting his own torso to tickle Connor’s, and Connor tried to ignore the phantom sensations still ghosting over his sides. At the very least, the mortifying wheezing was done with; he tried not to focus too much on the odd yearning prickling at his skin and demanding more.

Besides, the smile slowly forming on Miguel’s face was well worth his attention.

“Connor,” Miguel said calmly, a placating gesture that Connor refused to fall for. “Trust me, you don’t want to do this.”

Connor tossed one leg over Miguel’s waist, straddling him effectively. “Oh really? And why’s that? Can’t take what you dish out?”

Miguel shifted nervously under him, arms up to try to fight off a potential attack. His eyes were laser focused on Connor’s hands, his body jumping a little every time they moved, and Connor bit back a small smile at that. “I’ll get you back you know. If what I just saw is any indication, tickling appears to be your kryptonite and I’m not afraid to use that information when necessary.”

A thrill coursed its way down Connor’s back at the threat of a continuation of that night. He swallowed, straightening up a little as he forced a confident smirk onto his features. “Maybe. But if you’re going to do it anyway, I might as well have my fun now.”

Miguel’s eyes widened, and he didn’t have a chance to protest the point before Connor struck.

To his credit, Miguel’s self-control was far stronger than Connor’s. He tensed as his hands scribbled over the thin material of his shirt, his own quickly rising to his face to cover his growing blush and grin. His stomach trembled with the effort of holding in his laughter, twitching whenever a spider of fingers ran over a particularly sensitive spot.

“What’s wrong, Miguel?” Connor asked, the tease softer than he would have liked it as he admired the flustered boy beneath him. “Ticklish?”

“H-Hardly,” Miguel managed, the ‘H’ sound fluttering a tad as a laugh nearly slipped through. “This is nothIHing!”

“Nothing, eh?”

Connor climbed gently up his sides, each step jerking Miguel’s knees up another inch—a reaction that did not go unnoticed by Connor. He pressed gently into the divots in-between his ribs and Miguel hissed out a soft intake of breath, his grin curling wider.

“S-Stop.”

“Stop what? You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

“Stop—stop teasing. Just do it if you’re gonna do it.”

“Just stop me if you’re gonna stop me, then,” Connor parroted calmly. He wiggled his fingers gently over his bottom ribs, startling a huffed giggle out of Miguel. “You should be careful, you know. Some people might get the impression that you like getting tickled if you keep this up.”

A hypocritical argument, but Miguel didn’t need to know that.

“W-Well,” Miguel admitted, his tone cockier than it should have been while on the verge of an embarrassing burst of laughter. “It’s not so bad w-when it’s, aha, yohou.”

Crimson shot to the tips of Connor’s ears and he hunched his shoulders up defensively. “Right. Well. I have a feeling you're gonna regret admitting to that.”

Miguel's eyes widened, but he hardly had any time to protest before Connor struck for real this time.

Laughter rang out through the abandoned street as Connor’s fingers began to vibrate at alarming speeds over the other boy’s ribs, causing him to break the stoic act at last and squirm to his heart’s content. Connor knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this up for very long without Miguel’s mom noticing all the noise, so he made the most of it, his fingers painting over Miguel's body like a brush to a canvas as he hungrily devoured his reactions.

Yet all the while, he couldn’t get those seven, simple words out of his head, meaning nothing and everything all at the same time.

It’s not so bad when it’s you.

#tickle fic #conguel #dear evan hansen #commission #commissions #fanfiction #tickling #connor murphy #miguel

[thefisherqueen]

Granada's Sherlock Holmes: The mazarin stone

I feel like the ghost of Jeremy Brett is starting to possess me by watching so much of the Granada series lately. I even dreamt of him last night, lol. Might be better for my inner peace to take a break, but nah, being normal about something is overrated, so tonight I'm watching The mazarin stone. An outlier in the canon stories for having only one act, for being almost all dialogue and for taking place entirely within Baker Street. From what I read, this is all because it is an adaption from a screen play. I quite enjoyed this story with its great dialogue and think it would work even better in a visual medium, so I'm very curious to see the Granada version.

So this episode starts with Holmes talking about obsession and being haunted by a ghost. Feels relevant to my currant state

The opening scene is an prologue to the canon story then, with Holmes telling Watson he'll be away for several weeks. Watson will be lonely :( Watson's patients will be glad :)

Holmes saying he will be watching Watson with his third eye. Ehm, sir? Interesting storytelling choice

Such dramatic music in the scene where the diamond gets stolen, it's making me laugh

Not sure why those ladies in Watson's practice are here, but I love them. What a comic duo. It appears that Watson is struggling to figure out why they are there as well. Wait. Garridebs? I guess this episode is loaning some material from that story, then. That makes sense because I imagine it would be hard to fill a full episode with just the Mazarin story

Ladies, after some hipster nonsense of not being able to be ill because of their habits: "We insist that all our gentlemen do the same." Watson: "...your gentlemen?" *trying hard not to judge* Ladies: "Our gentlemen tennants" Haha, love this scene. I did spent some time before thinking about how awkward victorian doctor's consults must have been, with all those societal norms of modesty. I bet Watson would be really good at putting his patients at ease, though

Oh no, let Mycroft sleep! He certainly did not deserve such a rude awakening. Rude man talking to Mycroft: "You must keep your brother on a shorter leash" I feel like getting into a fist fight with that man on behalf of Holmes. Do not talk about my man like that

Mycroft is taking on the case? Was Jeremy Brett not available for this full episode? Because of health reasons, maybe? All right, that's a fresh development, let's see how it goes

I love the strong visual storytelling of the count actually shooting at female figurines when Mycroft confronts him

This episode is an interesting interpretation of each character's different way of investigation. Mycroft uses his network to speak to people and gain access to places he can follow the count, Watson stays polite and pretents to be quite ignorant while secretly thinking on it and gathering information from documents, while I think Holmes usually does everything the other two do but adds a lot of hands-on examination and a trick or two

Mycroft flirting with the ladies Garridebs threw me off. I guess this series has so many queer vibes that I didn't expect that level of straightness

I actually really like getting to see Mycroft and Watson working together. I do miss being able to stare unnecessary long at Jeremy Brett, of course

Just a side note, but the two sisters sleeping in one bed is an interesting detail. Besides houses historically commonly being small, in part because of heating reasons, bedding used to be very expensive; I would have to do research to say anything specific, but I do know from museum visits that it was quite common until at least the start of the 20th century for siblings to share a bed and thus save the family on cost. It would make sense for two unmarried elderly sisters to still be sleeping together if they got used to it after their whole lives doing so, even in the case they could now afford seperate beds, rooms maybe even. I think no one would have frowned if Holmes and Watson themselves would have shared a room. It was common for the lower classes and just didn't have the sexual/romantic association it does today. Which begs the question: what did cause victorians to become suspecious a sexual same-sex relationship was going on? I would be delighted if anyone could tell me more. I have just brought 'Strangers: homosexual love in the nineteenth century' by Graham Robb, so I hope I'll soon learn more

Watson still gets wounded in the confrontation, I see. And by that nastly looking diamond cleaver. Ouch. What a shame we didn't get the emotional 'It was worth a wound' scene. I LOVE however that it is the sisters who save Watson when he got that knife pulled to his throat. You go, ladies! And Mycroft in interrogating mode is quite delightful

Mycroft... in multiple bodies? Being immortal? Is the count hallucinating? What is going on???

Holmes is proud of his brother. Aww :)

This was a enjoyable episode, all in all. Of course I missed Holmes/Jeremy Brett in this, but even without the main character there it was still a good story, great acting and beautiful scene building. Just a bit of a shame for the odd paranormal (???) bits at the very start and end. They felt out of place and were unnecessary for the episode to work

#sherlock holmes #granada holmes #the mazarin stone

[notasapleasure]

The Witchfinder (S01E01-02) (2022)

Another one I’ve already watched, actually the first thing I checked out after Andor. BBC iPlayer has been trying to push it on me for...a LONG time now, and I think I just always knew it wasn’t going to be as good as Ghosts or Detectorists, both of which are absolute faves. BUT.

John Stearne sure looks good. Now I know there are people with a whole...Tim Key thing around here, but if you don’t mind...I’ll take this one instead

As I said in my original response:

‘Noah fence but if he shouted DID YOU NOT LIE WITH THE DEVIL CARNALLY? at me I’d have some snappy comeback about his devilish good looks‘

Stearne: "Did you not lie with the Devil carnally?”

Assistant: “Simple question! Did you fuck the devil, yes or no?”

Accused: “I did.”

(he’s not saying it twice, it’s drawn out in one long word and it’s Epic)

Don’t come at me telling me how he’d make sure I’d die a horrible death I should fucking hope so too and I hope he leaves those boots on

Gideon, the main character, calls him a ‘bellowing ape’. Then realises who he is and tries to suck up.

(who he is is AWFUL and I just don’t care, get a load of that beard I [redacted for the sake of tumblr’s purity bots])

Innkeeper (who just asked him to pay for his bowl of cherries): “Who’s saying that?”

Stearne: “Well, I did, and you just have.”

Innkeeper: “I only said it ‘coz you...”

Stearne: “See how quickly these things catch fire?”

Of course, he uses hallucinogens to get confessions and doesn’t mind admitting it. He also thinks scripture is overrated.

He does a great Loom when Gideon pisses him off

But Gideon says he’s going to have his own trial of a witch put on in the square the next day, and invites Stearne

He never makes it though...

None of you mind the corpse screenshots right? We’ve had a couple already. These are the most....lingering though. He’s good at sitting still!

womp womp

Why do you think I began my rating system with ‘is he dead? is he evil?’

We have to watch one go in, of course.

The theory is he drank all the ale, slipped on the straw and impaled himself on a metal thingy. Probably showing off.

Episode 2

aka the first time I realised imdb was going to play me like a cheap kazoo. I give you the sum total of his appearance in episode 2:

the corpse is mutilated, so mark that up as having happened twice in recent TV! (Daisy May cooper is a common denominator, hmm....) (Gideon’s maid Old Myers cuts his finger off for the signet ring and then loses the ring)

Rating

Dead? Yes, and the reason I’m asking this question

Evil? Positively horrible. I....don’t care though

Affects the plot? Only in death!

I felt deeply cheated when I first watched this, but in the context of everything else I’ve watched, his scenes in episode 1 are still very entertaining. 2/5 because there are a few too many lingering corpse shots to balance out the beautify of the lush beard.

#adventures in joplin sibtain's imdb page #joplin sibtain #the witchfinder #bbc witchfinder #queueing this up because busy weekend...

[brendleellipsis]

Brendle Rambles About CPU Kerfuffle For No Good Reason

I'm not entirely sure why I'm doing this.

I've been having a lot of Thoughts and Feelings these past couple days. Even more so than usual, I mean. And the way I've been working through all that is by just... talking. Kind of a lot. Massive text walls in discord servers, meandering monologues in voice call. To be frank, I'm not sure if anything I've been saying makes any sense at all, if anyone can follow my frantic, stream-of-consciousness ruminations as they jump from one topic to another, desperately clawing at the walls in the hopes that, at some point, I'll say something that matters.

But it's whatever. The written word has always been my most trusted tool of communication, of bridging the seemingly unassailable gap between me and the rest of the world. It's through sharing these thoughts of mine that I feel just a bit less alone.

Enough about that, though. I'm here to talk about CPU Kerfuffle.

(WARNING: This Shit Is Loooooong)

What a fuckin segue, am I right fellas hahahaHA

I want to make clear before I start this Already Too Long Diatribe, I have quite literally no plans going into this. I hardly have an inkling of what I'm going to say and when I'm going to say it. But, in a way, I think that can be a good thing. I too often tend to overthink things, needing my ideas to be perfectly crystallized in my mind before they're worth putting on the page. As a writer, I need to get over that shit. That sort of thought process is the enemy of progress. I've wanted to talk about this sort of thing for quite a while, but I had been putting it off because I "don't have any ideas".

Ideas are overrated. Let's fly by the seat of our pants, just this once.

So. For a bit of background, CPU Kerfuffle is a stream series, streamed on Twitch by resident silly fella @chongoblog that involves taking a bunch of Level 9 CPUs in the game Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, assigning them some characters (for example, pink Captain Falcon is Captain Valentine, silver Samus is The Guy From Spy Kids 3D, etc.), and throwing them into a tournament to watch them duke it out. The series changes and evolves and becomes something so much more as it continues, but that is pretty much the core premise of it. There's improv comedy and silly character interactions, it's a ton of fun and I love it.

But yeah, the series does start off relatively simple. And in a way, that's good. The first season, comprising of the first ten episodes, is... a little bit rough, but they're still very fun. Many recommendations on how to get into the series suggested skipping Season 1 and starting with Season 2, which premiered after a lengthy hiatus and served as a soft reboot, as it's a bit more indicative of what the rest of the episodes would be like. And I'm not going to disagree with that... but I also think the Season 1 episodes are worth watching too. Not just because they have the same charm, though they certainly do, and not just because you'll get to see the first appearances of some major characters, but because it's honestly quite fascinating to watch the show evolve from its more simple roots.

The first couple episodes don't really have much in terms of an overarching story, but I feel that they establish a status quo, which I feel is necessary for a story before you shake it up. You'd also get to see the commentators experiment with giving the characters small arcs within the confines of the tournament, the first of which being a character named Squid Jenny, who had her arc in Episode 2. You'd then be able to see the hosts try out their first arc that extended beyond the barriers of a single episode, with the Crimson Arc. I started watching this series around Episode 5, so being there, on the ground floor, watching the silly funny Smash Bros. show become a bit more than that. Of course, it was still very much a comedy, and the major players in the story didn't have nearly as much depth as they would in future episodes and arcs, but... there's something very cathartic and fascinating about watching this creative process happen in real time, to see the creators test their limits with each consecutive episode.

CPU Kerfuffle is the very first, and so far only, fandom that I have actively participated in. Ryan Chongoshow, aforementioned host of CPUK, has a discord server for his streams, and as such, there's a channel for the silly funny Smash Bros. show as well. This was my first real experience interacting with people who care about a story as much as I do, being able to actually express my thoughts on a piece of media to others. Eventually, I started writing fanfiction. For a show about Smash Bros. CPUs. On its face, the idea seems a bit absurd and dumb, and part of me felt insecure about it, but I knew the people I had found company with cared just as much as I did. Yes, the show was a comedy, it was irreverent and filled with shitposts, but there was still a passion there for the stories being told. And that passion only grew when Season 2 came around.

As I said before, the beginning of Season 2 acted as a sort of reboot for the series. Season 1 had gone on hiatus with a bit of a cliffhanger, with the Crimson Arc having some major loose ends untied (for context, the previous episode ended with Crimson seemingly killing one of the contestants). The first order of business was wrapping that shit up, and then continuing from there. There was a mini-arc that involved, to use a wrestling term, an absolute heel of a character that everyone, including the hosts, loathed with all their being, and again, it had the hosts experimenting with character arcs once again, which led rather cleanly into the next arc, which is widely considered one of, if not the best in the series. (My opinions on whether or not that's true are complicated, we'll get into it later)

If Crimson was an experiment in seeing what an overarching villain could do for a series like this, Dr. Order was the refined final product. Of all the villains in this series, she by far had the most incredible stage presence; she was arrogant and egotistical, she knew she was better than you and she was going to make sure you knew it too.

She is also a Wii Fit Trainer. So, there's that.

Order was introduced in Episode 14, and honestly, even then, I don't think anyone really realized what she was going to become, not even the hosts. Because, like. How could you think she'd be that good a villain? She's a Wii Fit Trainer. She sucks at fighting. She got unceremoniously dunked on by a Chrom named Bing. And then she came back the next episode with a clone of Bing, named Google.

(This is going to be a weird aside, but I want to talk about the community again and how cool they are. One of the greatest joys of being a CPUK fan is that the only real designs we have of these characters are Smash Bros. renders. And while this was certainly unintentional, I think Ryan Chongoshow accidentally created the most fan-artable show of all time. The Smash Bros. characters and the color schemes created a base with which to build off of, with everyone in the community having their own interpretations of the characters. That said, one of the fun things about it being a community is that, sometimes, collective headcanons just Become the way everyone thinks about the character. Google, who I mentioned earlier? I don't remember who decided he was a robot clone, I don't think it was mentioned in the show itself, but the community just Decided he was a robot! I love that! It's great!)

Anyways. I won't get too deep into the specifics of how the plot progresses, because if I did, we'd be here forever, and we all know this post is too fucking long as it is, but Dr. Order showing up again with Google starts the arc proper. Dr. Order is your classic mad scientist, she's just making shit happen because she can. There are several very important characters that have direct connections to her, being her experiments. There's the aforementioned Google, a clone of Bing meant to be the perfect fighter. There's Machiavelli, the ultimate lifeform, and Mach 2, who was built to be superior to Machiavelli in every way and just Isn't. There's Hackerman J0hn, who's an actual cyborg. There's Larry the Florida Man, a shapeshifter who's a whole fuckin can of worms that I won't get into but he's one of the best characters and honestly a perfect microcosm of what makes Kerfuffle's method of storytelling kick so much ass.

One of the great things about this arc is how personal it all feels. Crimson was, at most, an agent of chaos. He was characterized as this malevolent force of nature that tormented the tournament for no reason other than that he could. Crimson would get recharacterized later, with new lore being added to flesh him out a bit, but it took a bit for that to happen. Dr. Order, from the very beginning, is human. One would think that she'd be a downgrade in terms of scope, but not only does she begin dealing with forces she doesn't understand, she also makes every interaction she has with the tournament fighters feel intentional, calculated, and malicious.

This arc is where the show fully comes into its own. The final stretch, from Episodes 17-20, are some of the most tense and fun and satisfying experiences I had ever seen, seeing the culmination of what the show was. Dr. Order might not have been intended to be a villain from the beginning, but she became the perfect villain for CPU Kerfuffle. Season 2 begins with the disparate chaos of the tournament be brought to a standstill by a new head of the tournament, Iggy Koopa (yes, that one). Teams are put in place, and each fighter from that point on is enrolled in the tournament as a part of those teams. There's a real sense of camaraderie there, where these eight teams lift each other up, while also competing fair and square to see who's the best. Yes, the Kerfuffle tournament can get a bit... dramatic at times, but at the heart of it, it's a community. And Dr. Order is the antithesis of all of that. She does not have a team, she has subordinates, tools, with which she can claw her way to the top. She does not fight fair, she uses trickery and subterfuge to win her battles. Part of this is because she's a Wii Fit Trainer who sucks at fighting, but it unintentionally allows her to become even more of a malign figure in the cast of characters. And this makes it so, when she's eventually beaten in Episode 20 (which was an absolute Event in my life that I'll never forget, I cried actual tears), it doesn't only feel like the jerk was beaten up, but that community and friendship and love had triumphed over callous selfishness, that the ideal of defining who you are had beaten this monolith of petty control. And, yeah, that sounds like some Saturday morning cartoon Power Of Friendship nonsense, but. Fuck, man, that breaks me open.

And in many ways... I might very well be reading too far into things, but sometimes it feels like the themes of the silly funny Smash Bros. show reflect the feelings I have with its community. The world can be horrifying and monstrous. And it sometimes feels as though there is no way to endure it, that there's no point in enduring it. But... every once in a while, while I'm walking through this cold, dense, endless forest, enduring the slow but excruciating crawl of time moving forward... I find a campfire. I find people, telling jokes, telling stories. And... I think those little campfires are so deeply important. I think they're necessary. In a cold and indifferent world, it's vital that we find little pockets of joy and whimsy and absurdity and optimism, and that we share it with one another. We take our hope and our joy wherever we can get it. We try telling stories. We try telling jokes, drawing little pictures in the dirt. And that is the point.

To be honest, I've been considering ending this overly long diatribe here, if only because this has gotten insultingly long, and expecting people to read it is probably hoping for too much. If I did end it here, it would feel right. I've reached an emotional climax, and end point, I've said something that matters.

But... there's still more of the show to talk about.

CPU Kerfuffle does not end at Season 2. There was a hiatus after the Season 2 finale, which was by all means earned. But it did eventually come back for a Season 3. And I'm not going to talk too terribly much about Season 3? But I want it to be clear that it's not because it is somehow not as good as Season 2. In many ways, I prefer it. It explored the ramifications of Dr. Order's reign of terror in some really cool ways, and it's truly astonishing how, even after the villain's definitive defeat, her impact still echoes through all of the characters that she hurt. It's really great stuff.

The lore of the show is expanded even further. I didn't mention it earlier, but the first arc villain, Crimson, had a sister introduced in the tail end of Season 2, named Chartreuse. Where Crimson had domain over dimensions and space, Chartreuse had domain over time. And in Season 3, a third sibling is introduced, named Cobalt, the god of life and death. These deities are some of my favorite characters in the show. They're vastly different from one another, but in their own ways, they do very much come off as gods, as immortal, unfathomable beings. All three of them are fascinating, but I did not bring them up so I could gush about how much I love them.

I brought them up to talk about Prism.

This is another example of CPU Kerfuffle expanding on and, occasionally, slightly retconning parts of its established lore to tell a kickass story. Prism first appeared in Episode 15, and beyond doing some Wacky Stuff, she didn't seem particularly noteworthy. So imagine my surprise when she returns in Season 3 and introduces herself as the caretaker of the color gods, their babysitter, for lack of a better term. I honestly can not describe how kickass that revelation was.

Prism is a really fun villain. She is similar to Dr. Order in a lot of ways, but different in others. She does represent a monolith of control, with even the deities that look after time and space being simple disobedient children to her. But she is quite different when it comes to her mannerisms and methods. She is much more prone to talking things out, with an honestly chilling cheer, a smile that you can't quite tell whether it's genuine or false. Dr. Order is a villain that is fun to watch. Prism is oppressive, she dominates every conversation she is a part of, all while maintaining her bright attitude. It's absolutely chilling.

Prism begins an arc called The Grand Kerfuffle, an absolutely gargantuan bracket that was more akin to eight tournaments stacked in a trenchcoat than a single tournament. And to me, it honestly felt like the closest we could ever get in this show to a Final Arc. Each leg of the tournament felt like an event, with major plot turns, more build up to Prism as a villain, and the reveal that Spectrum, the elusive parent of the color gods, is dying. Spectrum had been foreshadowed for quite a while, so getting confirmation on its existence was huge. Crazy bullshit was happening, it was all ramping up to something incredible, I could just feel it-

And... then CPU Kerfuffle went on hiatus. And it never came back.

First off, I want to make this damn clear, I do not blame the creators for this happening. Mental health and maintaining ones own stability is so much more important than streaming a silly funny Smash Bros. show. Also, it's also not like things have abruptly ended, never to be seen again. During this lengthy break, Ryan Chongoshow has been doing Non-Canon Curiosity Tournaments (or NCCTs) in the aforementioned discord server. They're a lot of fun, and while it isn't the same, it is giving me the things about CPUK that I cared about most, the character interactions and the interesting plot lines. I honestly want to go into some of the ideas posed there, but this interminable post is long enough and explicitly non-canon material is where I draw the line.

With all that being said, though... I can't help but feel at least a little sad about that. Because, the more time passes, the more it becomes likely that CPU Kerfuffle just isn't coming back. Not in the way it was, at least. I've been trying to come to terms with that for a long time. Other people in the community seem to have done that. But... I'm not really sure if I can? To be clear, this is not meant to be a guilt trip. That being said, I've had far too many things in my life just... end. And not in a satisfying way, the way most stories do. They just stop. Friendships, and lives, and my own damn childhood. Done, just like that. Very abrupt. No closure. And as much as I can understand that sometimes, things are just Like That... it doesn't stop it from hurting. It doesn't stop me from wishing things were different. Wishing that my best friend in elementary school would have at least talked to me before wordlessly ending our friendship. Wishing that I could have spoken to my grandmother one more time before I lost the chance to. Wishing that a global pandemic hadn't ended my high school experience early, cutting me off into a cold, frightening world that I didn't know how to navigate.

Wishing that... that silly funny Smash Bros. show that helped me get through those hard times didn't have to end like that.

I'm well aware that I'm being wildly selfish, and irrational. Turns out, people are just like that sometimes. I get angry that my thoughts and feelings never coalesce, never make sense... but then I have to remember that none of us make sense. The world doesn't make sense. Life doesn't make sense.

But we have to live it anyway.

This could very well just be me reaching for a poignant ending to this meandering thesis I just wrote. Maybe I'm looking too deep into things where that depth just doesn't exist. Maybe I'm feeling just a bit too much about a silly funny Smash Bros. show. But, to be honest? I don't care.

The world is cruel, and cold, and uncaring, and confusing, and every day that I keep living has the potential to be a trial that I can't overcome.

But sometimes the rat wins. Sometimes a Florida man hits a shitty lady in the face with a volleyball. Sometimes a time traveling dog flirts with a time goddess and it becomes something beautiful, and you laugh and you cry and you feel as much as you can.

And then, with the memories of those times behind you, propping you up, keeping you from falling, you keep living.

#cpu kerfuffle #writing #brendle rambles #um. yeah #very sorry for this being so long