#i might futz with it again another time who is to say

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 76

ey been a while but i got another fancytier design going. honestly didnt do a whole lot to it though, the mage fit does a pretty good job of communicating RPG Mage Class already imo

#day 76 #year 5 #sollux captor #homestuck #fancytier #i tried to carry over some elements from the maid design i already did so theyd feel cohesive #i considered giving him like.... a masquerade mask?? thing???? to incorporate the skull/gas mask shape of the doom symbol #but i couldnt get it to not look silly #i might futz with it again another time who is to say

[thetreetopinn]

My ADD Medication Journey Begins

I got a physical back in early August this year. While I was there, I reminded my doctor "Hey, any chance you could maybe get me the contact details for that specialist you mentioned last year so I can get an evaluation to see if I'm ADHD or ASD?". He immediately remembered that I had asked about that last year and promised he would get me her card.

Well, it slipped is mind back then, and even though I called and emailed a few times, he just didn't seem to respond.

Oh hey, turns out HE has ADD and HE takes medication. Sometimes he just forgets because he deals with a lot of patients. It wasn't anything super hardcore pressing to me, so I just let it go after a while and decided to ask when I went in for my next physical.

When I brought it up this time, he stopped me mid-sentence, walked out of the room, and returned about two minutes later with the specialist's business card. He apologized for not getting it to me sooner, advised that I should call her as soon as I leave his office, try to schedule an appointment with her, and get an evaluation done. He said that if it turns out she thinks I am in fact ADD or ASD, that I should call his office just as soon as I get out with the diagnosis, and we would have a conversation about medication.

Well, we had a conversation about medication right then and there anyway, but it still was worth calling and talking about anyway.

I called the specialist and left a message--this was around 11am.

I got a call back from her receptionist about 30 minutes later--they have an opening that day! It's around 4 or so. I tell them "YES! I WOULD LIKE TO SCHEDULE TODAY IF THAT IS OKAY!"

They slot me in. It futz around that side of town because i live in a big city that is extremely car-centric (thank you good ole US of A... [sarcasm]) and show up at her office about 15 minutes early. I don't have anything better to do, so I show up that early. I also like being early to doctor appointments because you never know what the situation will be. They may have a patient cancel and you get seen earlier. It may be that the doctor is running behind so you have to wait anyway. You might have issues fighting traffic to get there (again, thanks... Uncle Sam). I just like being early for this kind of thing.

I end up waiting the full 15 minutes that I was early because the doctor was with another patient. When she's ready, she calls me back. I don't have to wait a silly amount of time, she's just ready to see me.

We have a conversation. She goes over her pre-written questionnaire. I answer the questions to the best of my ability. I try to be honest. I try to give as much accuracy as I can and confess my lack of answer when I don't have one but try to cobble something together to provide SOME kind of insight for the question.

About 15 minutes pass as we talk. She's very affable, friendly, funny, she actually laughs at my stupid dorky humor. She asks me what I do for a living, and what I've done in the past. I explain my last few jobs and how they have not gone well for me.

She looks me in the eye and says "those are all extremely detail oriented jobs... how are you able to do them?"

Half joking, half serious, I reply with "I'm not!"

The truth is, I find little hacks and tricks to try and keep myself on task, to minimize mistakes, maximize accuracy, try to maintain a calm demeanor... but that has always been a problem for me, especially when I'm under a heavy workload... or when I'm taking a hundred calls a day from people who are just looking for someone to scream at and make actionable threats against--despite the fact that I have no power over their case, I can only get them to the person who IS handling their case. I'm just a glorified receptionist in that specific role--a role I was fired from several years ago, and fuck did it knock the wind out of me.

She looks over her notes for a moment, then looks back at me and says "Yeah, I'd say you are DEFINITELY on the spectrum, and I think you might benefit from some medication. I think you should start on Adderall, low dose, see how it affects you. Have you talked to your PCP yet?"

(I had to have it explained to me to know what that means so I'm going to just go ahead and say for anyone else who might not know and is too afraid to as: PCP = Primary Care Physician... basically, the one doctor you see regularly, if you're lucky enough to be able to do so. I went YEARS without having a PCP because insurance is a fucking nightmare)

I explained to her what he had advised, that all I had to do was call him after I got out, explain that you confirmed I'm on the spectrum and that you think I should try Adderall, which is what he recommended too. We would discuss it, answer my questions and concerns, then he would put in a prescription at the pharmacy I had on file. I didn't need to go back to his office to do it. He would just forward it over.

This whole day kind of amazed me.

I had heard all manner of horror stories about how hard it is to get evaluated as an adult. Then how hard it was to get prescribed medication. THEN there's the fact that there is STILL an Adderall shortage going on. It's not as bad as it was, but it's still causing problems.

I call my doctor as soon as I'm out--he's already gone for the day but I leave a message explaining the situation. The specialist forwards confirmation of the diagnosis over to his office, it's all in order.

And then I wait. And wait. And wait. And wait. After two weeks, I try to call his office to try and catch him for a conversation. Have to leave a message. I do this every couple of weeks until about the end of September when HE calls ME back while I'm working from home and while I pace around my bedroom chatting with him about the situation, he tells me everything I want to know, what to expect, what to do if I have trouble getting medication, it's all groovy. He says he wants to have a follow-up with me--if I recall correctly it can be just over the phone, I don't need to go into the office I don't think. I'm sure I'll find out later--once I've been on the medication and have enough experience with it to see how it's affecting me, then we can adjust dosage or try something else, or maybe I'm good with the 20mg twice daily situation. He wants to follow-up and see.

He says he's going to forward the prescription over that day. And so he does.

It's a pharmacy that's in a grocery store. I've gotten one or two prescriptions filled there before. It's fine. Nothing to write home about. This grocery store I will not openly name, but it rhymes with Dom Crumb... those of you who live in the southeast United States probably already know exactly which store I'm talking about... and how it shares a name with a character from English folklore about a very tiny lad about the size of one's... well... only opposable digit on their hand.

The pharmacy does not call. I figure, okay, they just don't have any medication in stock. There's a shortage after all... all us millennials are eating it all up because holy fuck do we need some help just being able to function HAHAHAHA LATE STAGE CAPITALISM ISN'T PURPOSEFULLY OVERLY COMPLEX AND TRAUMATIZING AT ALL!!

So I wait about a week, then I try to call, but their automated system doesn't give me the option to speak to a pharmacist, a tech, a live person at all. It doesn't even let me leave a message. Fun.

I decide to go in person after work. It's just around the corner, picked because of how close and convenient it is. I shop there all the time anyway. I wait patiently behind other folks, then politely explain my situation to the lady behind the counter and she--very helpfully--starts looking up information and goes into the back to see if they have any in stock.

Alas, they do not. She also advises me that there is a hold on my prescription BECAUSE they don't have any in stock, and that there are other prescriptions ahead of me, so depending on how much they get in their next delivery, I might not be filled at that time and have to wait longer.

Again, this is no big deal to me. I understand. Supply chain issues. Greedy pharmaceutical companies not producing enough because it probably increases demand--or maybe they just underestimated how absolutely and deeply FUCKED my generation is. I tell them I'll check back in a couple of weeks.

So I wait. A couple of weeks pass. I check. Still none in stock. This repeats SEVERAL TIMES until THE WEEK OF THANKSGIVING.

I remind you--I got an evaluation and diagnosis back in early August. It is now LATE NOVEMBER and they finally say they have some in stock. The lady asks if I can wait. I tell her I've got some shopping to do and I'll wander on back later.

I do my shopping. I wait patiently. I do my thing. I come back and the lady flags me down.

"We do have it in stock but... I'm afraid your prescription has expired. You'll need to get a new one from your doctor."

UGH... are you kidding me?!?

I comport myself well. I'm understanding and polite. It's been a long while, sure, and I'm hugely disappointed, but I understand. Out of curiosity, I ask when the prescription expired.

She says it ended back at the end of September.

***GIANT. FUCKING. EYE-TWITCH.***

Again, I comport myself well in public. Inside, I'm FUMING.

WHY WOULD THEY NOT TELL ME THAT MY PRESCRIPTION HAD EXPIRED DURING ANY OF MY LAST FIVE VISITS?

Whatever... whatever, they probably don't check the paperwork until the meds arrive. Fine.

I call my doctor's office, worried I'm going to have a hell of a time getting someone to help me out just like it took so long to have the convo with my doc in the first place.

I get a call back--I forget exactly when. It might have been same day. It might have been the next. It might have been a couple of days. Regardless, it's a lot sooner than I feared.

I had left a message explaining the situation and the medical assistant says "I see that you need a new prescription for Adderall. But I also see a note on the file that the doctor wants to follow-up with you before refilling, so we can schedule a time for you to get with him to have that follow-up."

"I mean... okay, if you need to have him sign off on it before you send it, I understand, but the follow-up was to check on me after I had started it and been taking it for a while to see how I was doing. I haven't even GOTTEN the medication yet. I haven't been able to START taking it yet. Is there any way you can send a new prescription to my pharmacy so I get this ball rolling?"

He realizes he misread the transcription of the message: "OOOH... you haven't even GOTTEN it yet?!? WOW... okay yeah, we'll go ahead and submit a new prescription for you."

Our communication mishap is resolved, we end the call in a jovial fashion, I'm feeling pretty mildly okay. Things have been super stressful elsewhere in life for the last several months, and have only just really gotten real bad all over again and so if this is one thing I can get settled... I'm down to clown.

I get a call from the pharmacy THAT. DAY. Not even three hours later.

Fucking baller. Love it.

The pharmacy says they can't fill my prescription.

...wat...

They cite some law about needing to be within 20 miles of the prescribing doctor's office because it's a controlled substance.

It's Texas. I 100% believe the asshat lawmakers in this state have ABSOLUTELY taken ridiculously egregious steps to limit access to legally prescribed medications for a wide variety of reasons. No doubt, the front-facing explanation is "We want to make sure no one is using it as precursor to making Meth" and sure... that's a legit concern... but it's 60 pills, 20 mg each, my first prescription. I have no history of getting this anywhere else. I'm literally new to this. It shouldn't raise any red flags.

I'm willing to bet that these same asshat lawmakers also have a pretty dim view of mental health care.

"You don't have ADD, you're just hyper and lazy and undisciplined. You just need Jesus and a boot in the ass. NOW GET TO WORK!!" or some shit like that. Not saying they all think this... but I'm willing to bet a disgustingly shocking number of them do. Don't have proof. Just have experience with how fucked up my state is, and how the dominant party has--as a matter of record--acquitted a man who is credibly accused of getting an underage girl drunk and taking advantage of her. I won't use the R word here because I know some folks are triggered by it, but yeah... that's what he did. That's the state I live in. And moving out of state is prohibitively expensive... also, I wouldn't know where the fuck to go. My job is here. I can't take it with me I'm pretty sure, despite working part of every week from home.

Anyway, getting into the weeds: shit's fucked, yo.

The pharmacy won't fill the prescription. I frantically start trying to find proof of this law. I can't find it. I go on google maps and measure. Straight line from the doctor's office to the grocery store is 16.5 miles. So that's absolute fucking bullshit--unless they're going but like... DRIVEN miles... HORRAY!! MORE LOVE FOR THE CAR-CENTRIC CITY!!!

I call up my doctor's office and leave another message. I explain that the pharmacy says they can't fill it because of some 20 mile law. It's Friday. I know the doctor isn't in the office. I'm not expecting a call back that day.

As a fact finding mission--not really expecting to get any movement or satisfying answer--after I get off work, I go over to a local Walgreens. It's literally a block from where I live, even closer than the grocery store. The pharmacy is open until 9pm. I go in, I wait in line, and then I ask the pharmacy if they have Adderall in stock, if they know anything about a 20 mile law, and explain that the Rom Bum just down the street is cock blocking me on getting my brain fixed.

He's very disappointed to hear this. He doesn't know anything about a ***20*** mile law, but he's heard of a ***50*** mile law. I try to look this up later but I can't find anything about it either. Maybe I'm not searching in the right places. Maybe it's not a law, maybe it's a store policy and the pharmacists just SAY it's a law? I don't know. The Walgreens pharmacist gives me all kinds of options to get around the Adderall shortage--because it's specifically the 20mg he's having trouble keeping in stock. He offers the suggestion of different dosages taken at different frequencies. I politely tell him "Well, this is what my doctor wants me to start on to see how it affects me. Maybe we can adjust later once we know more."

He accepts this, apologizes that I've had so much trouble at the other place, and says "Yeah, if we can get someone at your doctor's office on the phone to confirm--because it's a controlled substance--then we should be able to fill it no problem if we have it in stock."

I thank you for his help and go home. I go to bed, unbelievably livid over this whole situation. Like... all day since I got the call from Gom Rum... I'm just... infuriated. I want to scream. I actually do scream, into one of my pillows. I want to break things. So I grab my pillow and start slamming it on to my mattress as hard as I can until I wear myself out. This is the only thing I will allow myself to do because I'm not apt to break anything--and yeah... I have anger issues. I have a BREATHTAKING temper. From what I understand, emotional disregulation is another symptom of ADD or ASD so... hey, it's in my fucking wheelhouse.

I knock my glasses off in the wild swinging of my arms to get some sense of physical satisfaction in wanting to do harm. I step on them and knock a lens out. Thankfully, it pops back in, but I have bent the frame just EVER so slightly and so I'm going to have to figure out how to bend it back so my glasses are more level on my face.

This is why I need to get my shit handled. This is why I self-isolate. This is why I stay away from people. Because I do shit LIKE THIS and I just... cannot control my temper sometimes. It's frustrating and it leaves me absolutely hating myself for failing to keep it together, for breaking something, for losing my cool, for letting the mask slip and showing the monster underneath. I'm told that ADD medication can help with this.

That bit doesn't click until much, much later. At any rate, I'm absolutely exhausted, angry, depressed, and thinking I should just give up on this whole endeavor because I've got too much other shit to put up with to deal with this nonsense as well.

I hold off on making any decision on that for the moment, because decisions made while emotional are frequently regretted. Ask me how I know.

The weekend passes and I just kind of sit in a funk the whole time. Nothing seems fun or enjoyable. Nothing holds my interest. I just coast through the weekend watching Youtube mainly.

When Monday comes... there's no return call from the doctor's office all day. Tuesday, I call and leave a message again. No call back the rest of the day. That's not unexpected, but it's still disappointing and it's getting me pissed off all over again. The decision to give up is gaining popularity in my brain.

Wednesday morning, at about 8:45 am, I've only just gotten into the office, I'm setting up, my phone is set to vibrate--but stupidly, I didn't learn my lesson from the lengthy game of phone tag back in September--the doctor's office calls.

I miss the call. ...FUCK...

I see the notification pop up on the screen after the fact, saying I have a voicemail. I lock my computer and hurry off to some quiet place where I can have a phone call without disturbing everyone else on the floor. I call, expecting to have to leave another message.

They pick up.

They actually pick up. Holy shit, red letter day, I've got a live person on the phone.

They say they got my message, they ask me a few questions like "Are they just saying they need to delay? They need more time?"

I tell them, "No... they are straight up refusing to fill the prescription because of some 20 mile law I can't find on the books, and the pharmacy is 16.5 miles from your office. I don't get it. I don't understand why I'm having so much trouble. Can we move it to a different pharmacy? I'm kind of done with this place."

The lady on the phone is disappointed and disturbed by this information, so she happily lets me pick a new pharmacy. It just so happens that because of my little fact-finding mission Friday night, I have one already picked out. I give her the details, she confirms, it's all good, she says she'll send it over that day.

At least I've got the doctor's office side of this taken care of. Now we just wait to see how Walgreens decides to dick me over.

Sports-fans, you will never guess what happens next.

I have another missed call at 3pm that same day.

It's Walgreens.

I have an email from them too.

MY PRESCRIPTION IS READY TO PICK UP.

THEY FILLED IT WITHIN 6 HOURS OF RECEIVING IT. IT'S READY. I CAN GO PICK IT UP TONIGHT!!! HOLY SHIT!! OH MY GOD IT'S A MOTHER FUCKING MIRACLE!!!

Unfortunately, I have another errand to run and I don't know how long it will take to get that sorted out. I have to drop my car off to get some maintenance done on it. Something about the CV boots leaking grease on the engine... the place actually showed me photos of my car doing this when I got the oil changed a month back. I didn't have the money at the moment to take it on so I decided "Let me save up a couple of paychecks and we'll tackle it... possibly December, no later than January. I don't drive that much. My commute to work is 10 minutes on the side roads. I can wait a bit longer than most."

Well, the situation happened to yield good results, I was able to get the money I need in my bank account to pay for the maintenance. I just needed to drop the car off overnight. They'd get it fixed over the course of half a day, call me when it's ready, and I can come pick it up. They even set me up with a loaner car in the interim... and fuck did I stress the hell out about my complex possibly towing it because I didn't get back home until after the front office was closed (it wouldn't have made any difference to call ahead of time, I wouldn't have the loaner car's details to give them).

I get the loaner, I head back up towards where I work, pass it, and go the other direction towards home... fun stuff needing to go in the opposite direction of home to do something right after work. Makes everything take so much longer to get done, but whatever. I've got the loaner, my car is gonna get worked on, I'll get it back tomorrow unless there's something that throws a monkey wrench into the plan.

I head up to Walgreens, I get my prescription. I go to a bookstore to buy a physical copy of "Project Hail Mary" because the audiobook I've got is damn good and I want a physical version I can hold... just in case... you know... Audible/Amazon decides to be a colossal dick. Then I pick up dinner. Tacos, from a really good taco place. I'm celebrating the fact that this whole Adderall thing has actually finally paid off. Now I just need to start taking it to see how it affects me.

That will come in the morning.

For now, tacos and tatter tots. Oh and youtube, lots of youtube. I watch lots of stuff on youtube. And the whole Somerton situation has shaken loose a lot of videos from a lot of people talking about it. And happily, it's not just rehashing the same details. They're all looking at it from different angles. Like "Why did we fall for this?" "How do we move forward?" "What should we as leftists do to try and keep this from happening again?" "What changes can and should we make?" stuff like that. It's great. I love seeing people try to problem solve rather than just try to dog-pile on. It's real NASA level shit and I'm a space nerd so NASA is my jam--as is their approach to so much of what they do. Just ask me about how I help my mom plan to cook large meals for holidays... I call it a flight plan... and it's one, giant recipe, planning out what needs to be done in what order, starting with prep and ending with service. Love me a good flight plan.

Just almost never have the will, interest, or focus to build flight plans for other aspects of my life, so I just end up winging it a lot. It works okay, but not always.

That's one reason why I wanna try the Adderall I've got sitting on my desk staring at me while I've got a mouth full of taco.

Among other reasons. I hear it's a mild appetite suppressant, and if it helps keep me from snacking between meals, hey, I might just lose a little weight, make my pants fit a little better, get some flexibility back. But... tomorrow. Not now. Now, I need to be able to sleep.

And sleep I do, grateful that at least one major issue has finally FINALLY been dealt with and I can actually FINALLY START this journey properly.

From early August to early December. Roughly four whole months, and I am less than 12 hours away from starting a medication that may help me get my brain to act a bit better, help me focus, help me even my temper out, help me lose weight--I honestly don't know what all it might do... hell, it might not do anything. I could have no reaction. Or an allergic reaction. No way to tell. That last one is super rare, but... with my luck and my allergies... I don't rule it out and keep in mind that I might need to call for rescue if I have a problem.

That was last night.

Today was my first day on the meds.

I've started a log of what I notice while I'm on the pill.

I'm going to collect data, review it, share it with my doctor, and we can make whatever decision best addresses what I find.

So far though, I'm encouraged. I'm very encouraged. It didn't have any shocking, intensely powerful effect... it's just been one day. I'm told it takes a week or two for the dosage to build up and start showing signs.

But what I've experienced so far... I'm encouraged.

It's hard to tell if it was because of the medicine, or if it was just because I had a really good day at work, but I'm energized, I'm enthusiastic, I have energy again... and I... may have... forgotten to eat my lunch (I did a lot of training today, people learning how to do workflows that I have information on, so I didn't have much time to stop and eat). The appetite suppressant aspect kept me from feeling hungry, so I wasn't distracted by that. That was nice.

We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Let me know if you'd like to read what I've got in my log. I feel like this might be info that other folks could find helpful or useful... or maybe more experienced ADD folks on the same medication can offer advice for how I can maximize what benefits I get from this... or share things to watch out for.

I'm new to this, and I'd love feed back.

Let me know if you wanna read the log. I don't really care about being too insanely private about it--though I don't have anything too revealing in it, nor plan on putting anything too revealing in it.

Anyway... yeah... long post is long.

This is probably the longest thing I've written since... fuck... February? March? And I felt good writing it.

Again, not sure if it was just how the day went, or if it's the meds.

But I'm hopeful about finding out more.

#Long post #journal #ADD #Attention Deficit Disorder #Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder #Personal Journey #Fuck the American health care system #Dragon Rant #Smokey's ADD Meds Journey

[bitchfitch]

Hi i need to link a thing to someone again

uhhhh Rough timeline that might get futzed with but which is probably the order things are going to happen in even if the time between events gets changed or if new events get added:

Esti turns ten and meets Pavo for the first time at the celebration. The meeting is brief, Esti decides he hates him and is going to be miserable during his apprenticeship as 10yos who are about to face a major life change are wont to do.

at the start of the next spring he is sent to Pavo's village to begin training, by summer he's settled and enjoying things even if Pavo isn't like. competent as a mentor yet bc he doesn't know how children work and is just treating Esti like he's a very short and weak adult.

like 10 years pass. Esti very quickly begins thinking of Pavo's village as home and dreads returning to his own every winter, always being eager to go back the next spring.

His apprenticeship was supposed to last until his 20th birthday, a full decade. They're both not happy about it coming near and end and Pavo manages to argue Esti should stay with him another year. He is only granted it because hostilities between their families have grown significantly, Pavos father is still king and war seems to be on the horizon. Esti is allowed to stay because his apprenticeship is the last sliver of good blood between them, as soon as it ends there is no social contract keeping them from being at each others throats. plus both sides believe Esti can be a spy for them if needed.

Truthahn is king by about halfway through that last year's summer period, only a few weeks before Esti turns 21. Pavo's father dies suddenly and no cause was ever announced, Pavo is shaken up about it but tells Esti it is why they should both be greatful they are the rejects of their families. It's well known there is nothing Truthahn wants less in the first few years of his reign than to have to declare a war. , there will be no more excuses to keep Esti in the village, Pavo gets ready to say goodbye.

Pavo attends Esti's 21st b'day party and over drinks congratulates him on surviving his apprenticeship. It's a bittersweet thing. Esti drinks way too much trying to keep pace with Pavo and finds out he's a Very impulsive drunk. Esti kisses Pavo at some point. and remembers very little when he wakes up with a sore ass and back and very hungover in bed with pavo the next morning. He doesn't need to be told what happened to figure it out.

The last like 8 weeks of their official time together is spent getting way more intimate with each other and eventually they get the idea that the best way to not have to separate would be for them to marry. Truthahn may not want war in the next 3-5 years, but that's an optics thing. Esti's family is still sat on a major trade port and a few silver mines+ other misc resources. plus they're the only other power in the area that has a chance at making a bid for the Top Dog spot, especially if they can whip up a few allies to fight with them/stall out the Cristatuses

Pavo goes with Esti to his family home to talk to his mother about the definitely purely political and peace motivated reasons he wants to marry her son. She denies them at first but after a lot of talks back and forth with Pavo and a few of her own advisors she takes Esti into a private talk, and tells him she'll grant him both her permission and blessing if he can tell her how to actually find Pavo's village. since it's hidden from other demons by a fuck ton of magic. She says it's to protect Esti because she doesn't trust Pavo will be a good match and she needs to be able to come to her son's aide if he needs it. Esti believes her and she gives him her and Esti's father's wedding rings so he can propose to Pavo. She understands the wedding itself will take time to prepare and most likely happen in Pavo's village where she and Esti's siblings would not be allowed, so she wants him to propose before he and pavo leave to go home. He does.

A few weeks pass and planning is hectic especially with the increase in bandit attacks taking up a lot of Pavo's attention. It's sus as hell. he's out investigating a string of them when the village is attacked by a charge being lead by Esti's oldest 2 younger siblings but returns in time to enter the fray and chase off the attack with the party of warriors he had been traveling with. Hes already furious when he finds Esti at his now dead younger brothers side and puts two and two together on Who's loose lips got their home put in danger. People are dead. the attacks focused on potential storage places for food and medical supplies.

Hell Time.

Pavo convences himself what he's doing is for Esti's own good.

By the end of the first month Esti has completely stopped trying to reason with him or fight it but hes still holding out hope that he'll earn Pavo's forgiveness if he just is Good enough. because Pavo isn't full awful 100% of the time after he gets over the first wave of rage.

things almost settle into a new sort of normal. Truthahn and Pavo have a massive argument about what should be done about a few strongholds. Pavo is demanding more resources to handle them. Truthahn is demanding he make do with what the already has. The war is here Truthahn counts it Pavo's fault and decides to do Something to get him to know his place.

He does the thing with the disguise and sleeping with Esti just to hurt Pavo. and make him hurt himself and Esti further by being too convinced he can't change. after that noise Esti is no longer holding out hope.

Pavo is miserable and far more easy to control over the next like two months. Esti is completely shut down about 90% of the time he has to be in the same room as Pavo and does the bare minimum instead of showing Pavo any warmth.

Pavo wisens up after the first few weeks and really does try to make amends and do better, anything to get Esti to at least look at him again. but he's too Pavo to not dip into bad habits and he is Struggling hard with his anger issues and doesn't always manage them well enough.

Truthahn makes semi frequent visits to rile Pavo up and work on getting Esti onto his side. Not difficult considering most of Esti's time during Hell Time™ has been spent in the company of a man with a negative charisma score. Pavo makes Truthahn's slimey vibes seem like green flags.

After a particularly bad night, Esti finally folds and takes Truthahn's offer. Pavo finds out and blocks him leaving. It culminates in another massive fight that actually gets physical between Pavo and Truthahn in which Pavo makes the mistake of saying Esti has eyes only for him. Truthahn leaves and Esti gets the brunt of that particular rage.

Pavo fucks off for a few days to handle the growing number of Situations that are getting closer and closer to home as the war continues. When he returns he finds Esti's eyes left in a box alongside a note from Truthahn telling him 'if he only has eyes for you then that's the one part of him you can keep'

He sets out with full blood rage going to slaughter his brother for this. He doesn't care what that's going to mean for the people he's in charge of protecting or the ongoing war. he's fucking pissed and Truthahn is going to pay. He gets to his own families palace home and nearly kills Truthahn on sight. Truthahn manages to get him to calm down enough to make a wager by telling him he has guards watching Esti and a spell on himself he has to consciously maintain letting them know he's alive. If Truthahn dies there's no chance Pavo gets there in time to stop the guards from killing Esti. pavo has no choice but to hear him out.

They both want Esti, and there is no compromise they will ever agree on. plus, they're at war. Pavo isn't at all fit to be king, and Truthahn says he wouldn't be able to lead Pavo's armies effectively enough to make killing pavo worth it. So, instead of killing each other, they should just let Esti decide. He's the one being bickered over anyways.

Pavo knows he has no choice but to agree and is already planning how he's going to break in to kidnap Esti later when he gets rejected. No way does Esti choose Him over Truthahn. especially since he knows Truthahn has probably already found a way to convince Esti it was Pavo who carved out his eyes, making the worst crime Esti knows Truthahn to have committed against him being 'tried but failed to help Pavo and him make up in a dubious but understandable way'

Truthahn says they should argue their cases to Esti alone, and tells Pavo where Esti is. When Pavo gets there Esti is in bad shape, injured and scared and reactive to every little noise but too new to being blind to know how to effectively track the sounds. The guards are gone. Pavo can't see Esti when he's this freaked out and leaking shadows, but he can see the blood and the dead guard with his throat clawed out. He knows something is Very wrong as he tries to find Esti by the sound of his crying. Pavo is a lot more used to being blind, maybe if he'd taken longer Esti would have known it was the real him instead of another assailant using his voice. as soon as he touches him Esti attacks. he has the guards dagger, but hes not used to fighting blind, but Pavo can't see him either. so it's a mess but Esti does eventually manage to strike true and burry the blade in Pavo's chest. It's only after it's hilt deep he realizes this one didn't fight. Just tried to stop him. The dread calm makes his shadows dissipate enough for Pavo to see him. and Pavo's just glad that even if Truthahn's trick worked, he still got to see Esti one last time.

He's surprised when he wakes up. he can see into his own chest cavity and by fuck was it agony. Esti's shadows weren't good for healing but they could mold and replace things well enough, a temporary fix, but one he could work with. To anyone else it would look like a few smears of black paint. Esti is beside him. awake and shaking. Pavo speaks Esti jumps, and then is crying again as he struggles to find Pavo to hug him. Pavo thanks him and gets to his feet.

Truthahn is on the floor. clearly he hadn't expected the strength or fury Esti was capable of either. There's guards waiting for them outside the room. Their king is dead. By demon law a monarch who falls in battle is to be replaced by their killer. Strongest of the strong type of thing, but in this situation the new rightful ruler was half feral with terror and not letting anyone get into the room. the next few days are a mess of grievous wounds being healed and sorting things out with who gets the crown, and everything Truthahn was doing to manage the war. There's nothing that can be done about Esti's eyes other than properly treating the wounds to prevent infection. and keeping the eventual scarring from hurting too bad.

They go home, A general Pavo had known for many years and an advisor the general swears is top notch are chosen to handle many of Truthahn's duties. Pavo is officially king because Esti was too shell shocked to even speak at any of the meetings. He's next of kin to both Truthahn and Esti, out of every possible person for the roll, he was the most obvious choice. Pavo still has a war to fight, and his village was far closer to the bulk of the action. it's a good excuse to not have to stay in that place anymore.

Neither of them are handling it well, but Pavo has a lot more experience hiding from his issues via brutal combat and planning. It takes his focus. while they both recover.

Esti starts talking again after the first week back. His silence wasn't icy this time, it was scared. Pavo is too dead inside with exhaustion and his own trauma from everything that's happened to get angry as much.

They start sleeping in the same bed again they both have nightmares and being able to check the other is there as soon as they wake let's them manage to get some sleep, Pavo is helping Esti get used to living life blind in what little spare time he has. He has already sent letters to the guild who made his own prosthetic eyes to get a few sets made for Esti.

It's not perfect. nothing feels right anymore. but things are getting closer to being the way they should be. The advisor is killed, the general the day after. Pavo does what he has to to manage things but he maybe didn't respect the amount of work that went into being king enough before this. Esti's new eyes arrive. he turns 22.

The war is starting to strain both sides. Resources are growing thin. Pavo can tell the end is drawing closer. He doesn't know who will have victory. He teaches Esti the spells he uses to grant himself vision. it's so nice to have something to teach him again. There's no going back. Esti laughs again. there's good days and there's days so awful neither of them think they'll live through it.

A parlay is called. Estis mother is requesting peace talks. She sees the writing on the wall too. With Truthahn gone there's too much instability. Even if she wins, there will be no grand enemy to unite her and her allies once the fighting is done. It'll just be war after war after war. She didn't expect to see Esti at the talks. No one had seen or heard from him in so long he had been presumed dead since shortly after the first attack. Talks go as well as they can. it's a tense ceasefire at best. A chance for both sides to figure out what their demands will be. Esti asks to go with her. Pavo let's him.

it's the first real break they've had from eachother. it gives them both the chance to truly try to figure out what they need to do. Pavo Will be arguing his case on two battlefronts on the next set of talks, he's confident one will be won, and the other will desvistate him. He has time to prepare this time. to finally come to terms with the consequences of his actions. He has all of Esti's things packed, as well as every item from his home Esti had ever mentioned liking.

the talks start. they're tense. new trade agreements are reached. The vultures that are circling waiting for one or both family's fall is enough of a common enemy. it won't be an easy peace. skirmishes and bad blood will be between them for as long as they share borders, but it's still peace with nothing looming on the horizon. Esti is only half joking when he suggests a marriage to seal the deal.

Esti is 25 when he returns to Pavo's village. Their courting was more traditional this time around. the space gave them both time to work on themselves. Esti found his spine, Pavo figured out how deep breathing exercises work. they both settled into their new lives. Nothing was as it was before things went bad, and they are both so much happier for it

[thessalian]

Thess vs Next Fest 2023, Pt 1.

I managed to try two of my shiny new demos before I crashed last night. I have Things To Say already.

My Dream Setup: Okay, this one’s little, silly, and really Zen. It’s basically just taking the room design aspect of the Sims, simplifying it a lot, and removing the “you must work to afford this or get really good at using the Motherlode cheat” aspect from it. Basically it’s a room design game. I can see myself futzing around with it as a wind-down exercise ... well, at least when all the main features aren’t locked out of the game.

Code Vein: Okay, this one wasn’t a “NEW AND COMING SOON” game. This was a game I’d heard a lot about from various sources and thought I’d give a try since there was a demo. It’s ... it’s another one of those very Japanese ones? Also it’s an ARG, and I’m not generally great at those. And its combat is heavily based on the Soulslike formula, which means “a lot of dodge and / or block, no easy mode, git gud scrub” etc etc. Then again, while “git gud” is a horrible way of phrasing it, I guess the only real way to learn how to play those sorts of things is to keep trying and not be too stressed about constantly dying. I mean, it’s entirely possible that changing the keybinds will help if I do get this one, because some of the keybinds they use for those of us who don’t use controllers are just awkward as fuck. So it’s basically Jedi: Fallen Order all over again as I try to work out a reasonable keybind set-up that’s intuitive for a keyboard user rather than one designed by someone who thinks that a controller is the sole proper conduit for the voice of the gods ... or whatever, I don’t know. I just know that being disabled really, really sucks.

So, yeah, all of the things I downloaded the demo for went onto the wishlist, but it’s only the ones that I like that are going to stay there. My Dream Setup and Code Vein both stayed there, and shifted up fairly high. I arrange my wishlist a little weird, I admit - mostly I keep it in priority order with “coming soon” games down at the bottom (also arranged by priority at that point), but “coming soon” games move up into proper priority order as soon as there’s a solid release date on them. So, like, Dredge finally got its release date (30 March) so it goes right up at the top where it belongs. My Dream Setup actually comes out in about two weeks so that went right into priority order near the top. Since Code Vein’s been out for awhile, it went into priority order too ... though I will admit that the only reason that Code Vein is so high up there is that it’s currently 85% off until next week and if I am going to buy it to try my hand at that particular genre, it might as well be when it’s significantly on sale. Maybe then I’d have some idea about where to set my keybinds and actually give Jedi: Fallen Order another try. Point being, it’s all a kind of weird organisational system but it works for me because it means I keep my priority order fairly up to date instead of just tacking stuff on at random. It also means I get to look through reviews of the things on my wish list and go, “Okay, given this is what’s being said, do I really want this?” A fair few times, the answer has been ‘no’, so it’s an interesting sort of way to be a mindful shopper, I guess.

...’Mindful shopper’ my entire ass; my wishlist is over 100 items long and I still haven’t played half the games I already own. Still, it’s like with books - one day, one of those games is going to be the only thing that speaks to me on any given day. Besides, if I can fuck up the Code Vein demo, maybe fucking up something like A Plague Tale: Innocence won’t be that bad. I mean, I’ve seen the final boss fight now and I kind of need to know how the fuck we got to that point...

#Thess plays video games #Thess vs Demos

[sweetbutapsychox]

some might say nikki has a drinking problem, as she sits perched on a deck chair with her feet propped up, a bottle of whiskey held between her fingers. she takes a long hard sip, a satisfied 'ahhh' falling from her lips as soon as she's done. she's had about a quarter of the amber liquid already and is starting to feel the effects, but before she can take another hit she's passing it off to her brother who does the same. the guys are gathered around a fire pit in nikki's backyard, getting drunk and sharing stories of recent events that they seem to find amusing. this is a once a week tradition between the guys, and she wouldn't change it for anything. dion talks loudly when he's drunk, making sloshed movements and standing up with a booming voice that the neighbors can probably discern. she already knows they hate her, she doesn't give a fuck. barrel is at her right, sparking up a joint between his lips, taking a long slow hit before passing it off to her. she inhales deeply, eyes closing in the moment to revel in the sensations it creates before once again, passing it over to her brother, who follows suit. they played a gig about two hours ago - dion accompanied them back to her place, and the rest of the band is chilling in her backyard. caspian is futzing with a lighter, holding it above his palm like he's intent on burning himself, but never does - a party trick he's famous for. she swears it's just because he's burned himself too many times already, but she digresses. "i need food," she says, and stumbles into the kitchen to grab a few bags of chips, dropping three of them in the process only to hear one crunch beneath her feet. "fuck." she replies, and out of nowhere alio comes to help her, his big burly hands taking a hold of all of the bags, including the smashed one, and turns on a heel to head outside before she can even say thank you. standing in the kitchen, nikki realizes just how much of a family they've become. she's always had dion, and the siblings were incredibly close - but this is something altogether different. these people are not her blood, they were simply chosen, but she wouldn't have traded them for anything in the world. they accepted her into their little band of thieves and otherwise without a moment's hesitation, and she couldn't have been more grateful. taking a second to get mushy is enough for her, because she's shaking her head, her body, whatever she could to get the feelings to escape from within her before she's barreling her way outside to snatch the joint from leland's lips and the bottle of almost completely empty whiskey from trampas', and collapses back onto one of the the lounge chairs. "tonight was great," she slurs, drinking down the remnants of whatever was left in the bottle before taking another hit off the joint. she knows she's high and drunk and will likely collapse in a few hours, but for now, she's going to make the best of it.

#/ writing. #/ feat. the voodoodes.

[aria-i-adagio]

Did either of them try to resist their feelings? Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear? What are their primary love languages? Who’s the better cook? (for Handers!) - the-iron-orchid

Thank you, @the-iron-orchid!

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear?

Oh, Anders is definitely the one whispering the inappropriate things in Hawke’s ear. He is the id of this relationship after all.

Not that Hawke is complaining.

What are their primary love languages?

I always have to stop and look up the whole love languages thing. Kinda like enneagram numbers. Cultivating a deliberate agnosis for my own nefarious reasons.

Anders and Adrian are both touch starved cuddlebugs, and Adrian rates very high on giving acts of service.

[Realizing that all my OCs/canon characters I project too much onto are touch starved cuddlebugs... hmm... anyone want to come snuggle and let me make you delicious food and baked goods? I am a very good cook.]

Who’s the better cook?

I - in my infinite wisdom and mercy as a writer - determined that fugitive Anders needed a hobby, and I gave him a cookbook to play around with while in hiding. As of the present moment in my personal little world state, our recovering ascetic is well on his way to becoming a decent, if somewhat rustic, chef. He has also perfected moonshine and if Hawke ever gets his chickens, Anders is definitely going to start aging the stuff

Adrian can scramble eggs and make coffee. But he has to make coffee before trying to toast bread, or he burns it.

Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Did either of them try to resist their feelings? No, of course not, not for three years of Isabela having to watch them pining. Oh no. Definitely not.

This is begging me to just post the first chapter of Risk. The truly naughty bits are in chapter two and you’ll have to go to the AO3 for those. And then tell me if I should finish futzing with the half-drafted and half daft chapter three.

---

Hawke doesn't know where Varric found this particular tabletop game. Not that it matters, he's thoroughly enjoying the premise of guiding pewter toy soldiers through taking over one region of Thedas at a time. Isabela seems less enchanted, complaining that the rules are attached against her because if she just had a navy, and isn't it cheating that Hawke and Anders have formed a truce with each other to wipe her off the map.

Varric laughs and shrugs off her complaint. "Strategy is strategy."

"What truce?" Adrian smiles innocently enough; although under the table, Anders' left hand has been gradually moving up his thigh. "We haven't discussed anything with each other."

"Nope, nothing." Anders drinks from his third - or fourth pint of beer - Justice must be giving him the night off from the no drunkenness rule. That happens sometimes, when Hawke is lucky "Just roll the dice, 'Bela."

"Sure, boys, no special code you're tapping out with your feet ?" She's down to two units in a region Hawke is attacking with ten. Anders has the region on the other side of hers and wore her down on his prior turn, stopping without taking the region or overly weakening his own position.

Varric crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. "I'm planning to enjoy what happens when they have to turn on each other."

"Oh yes." Isabela picks up her dice and shakes them in her hand. "Who will come out on top? A scintillating question. Drat!" Her roll turns up snake eyes to Hawke's mediocre four, three, and two. "Anders, if I find out you've cursed these dice -"

"We're not even playing for money, 'Bela."

"Yeah, yeah -" She clears her soldiers from the region. "Just honor. It's all yours, sweetling."

"You've still got half of Orlais and the Frostback Basin. You're hardly out."

She smirks and gestures to one of the barmaids for another pitcher. "Aye, and the longer I keep those the longer it's going to take for you two to solve that question of who's going to be on top."

Merrill is barely hanging on to Seheron and a random province in Tevinter. "Oh, I think Anders has the stronger position, he's basically got Hawke's armies surrounded."

Anders hides a blush behind another drink. Varric snorts and Isabela sighs. "Kitten, that's not quite what we're talking about. And you -" She points a finger at Anders like she's reprimanding a sailor. "Are hardly a blushing virgin."

Hawke just shifts his weight a bit, nudging Anders' thigh with his knee. Keep going. He can't actually move his own hand quick enough under the table to slide Anders' fingers further around and up without Isabela noticing. But she's going to give them grief no matter what.

"Well, what are you talking about then?"

"The eventual conclusion to a most drawn out case of two idiots pining after each other."

"What does that have to do with who wins the game?"

"It's a metaphor, Daisy. Not a very good one."

"Does it have something to do with sex? I'm always missing the ones that have to do with sex."

Anders chokes on his beer. Hawke pats his back, then leaves his hand there just above his belt. The Hanged Man is warm tonight, the feathery jacket is hanging on the wall, and Hawke can feel Anders' spine through the written out fabric of his shirt.

"I should make a hand where I can see 'em rule," Isabela grouses. "No idea what little card tricks you boys are up to over there."

"What?" Hawke walks his fingers up Anders' back and wonders how much longer he can stand Anders' fingers tracing spirals over the inside of his thigh before he just throws the game, grabs Anders' by the collar and kisses and/or shakes him until he's forgotten whatever protests he prepared about this not being a good idea, Anders is a dangerous person to be with, Hawke doesn't really know him, et cetera, et cetera. "I would never try to cheat. At least, not with you."

Merrill actually wins the game after patiently building up a massive number of armies in Seheron and sweeping through all of Thedas in a single turn. Never forget to keep an eye on the quiet ones. She smiles prettily as Varric and Hawke start picking up the pieces of the game, and then asks Isabela again if she'll explain the metaphor.

Isabela lays her head down on the table with a groan. "I need more alcohol for this."

Varric, being Varric, chuckles and then enables, ordering another two pitchers for the table.

Hawke gives up any pretense of coyness during Isabela's tutoring session and sits sideways on the bench with his back against the wall and his legs over Anders' lap, giggling as Isabela makes increasingly vulgar gestures with her hands and then steals Varric's notebook and ink to improvise illustrations. She's not a very good artist.

Merrill's wide eyes get wider. "Oh, oh. But -" She blinks rapidly. "What if it's two women?"

"Well, it's kind of a loose metaphor anyway, to be entirely honest." Isabela changes around how she's holding her hands again. "You see not everything comes down to insertions."

"Andraste's knicker weasels, 'Bela!"

"Knickers can be involved or not. Weasels, well, at least the animal type are less common. Now, the Chantry only talks about Andraste's husbands, but I heard this one -"

"You're going to confuse her even more." Anders moves Hawke's legs out of his lap and leans over the table. "It's simple Merrill. In sex, some people really prefer to get, some people really prefer to give, and most people are somewhere in the middle and like doing a bit both. And then you have Isabela, who likes to tease."

"Guilty as charged. In bed and out."

"What does that have to do with a board game though?"

Hawke laughs. Anders covers his face with both hands. "Oh, Maker. I'm done here. And this is as much of an answer as you're getting, 'Bela." He turns toward Hawke, who isn't expecting and had only cautiously been hoping to be grabbed by the shoulders and kissed on the mouth and thus, very nearly loses his balance when he is. He's quick enough to topple toward Anders instead of over the table, steading himself with hands at Anders' skinny waist, and kissing him back before the moment can be lost.

"Finally!" Isabela applauds. "I thought I was going to have to spend the night with Hawke, which would be terribly awkward as he doesn't like women."

Hawke raises a middle finger in her general direction and earns a delighted cackle.

"But Hawke spends a lot of time with you, and me, and even Aveline. We're women?"

Varric pours more beer for himself and Merrill. "That's, um, not at all what she means, Daisy."

Anders rolls his eyes. He stands up and pulls Hawke with him. "Your place or mine is a stupid question, isn't it?"

"A very stupid question." Hawke grabs their jackets off the wall. Honestly, right now, either would do, but it's about the same distance and Hawke has a significantly nice bed. If they make it that far.

"I expect a full report in the morning, Hawke," Isabela shouts as they're walking out. "Might have bets riding on it."

"Fuck you, 'Bela." Hawke says with a glance back over his shoulder and a broad smile. He's closer to amused than annoyed. She had quite effectively forced Anders' hand in the little game he and Hawke had been playing for weeks. Maybe overdone it, but she'd done it. Isabela winks and flashes him two thumbs up before making a 'get going now' gesture.

"No, you won't. Don't forget the electricity thing."

"The electricity thing? Is that another metaphor?"

"Goodnight, Merrill."

#ask meme continued #dragon age #dragon age fanfic #anders #hawke #adrian hawke

[avengerscompound]

Looking Up

Looking Up: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x Reader (kinda)

Word Count:  1539

Warnings:  action, canon-typical violence, Clint’s naked and a very proud boyfriend.

Synopsis:  Clint’s day was looking up. His girlfriend slept over for the first time. He’s pretty sure she’s a Jedi. He was having a nice bath. So how is it he’s now running down the street naked from gunmen?

Looking Up

Clint wasn’t exactly sure how things had gone this wrong, but to be fair he was never particularly sure how things ended up the way they did.  It was like he was a magnet for the most embarrassing possible things to happen to people.  You never heard stories about Iron Man getting ambushed while he was in the tub and having to jump out of his window into the dumpster below.  No one ever told stories of Captain America running down the street naked pursued by goons with guns.

Yet here he was running down the street, stark naked covered in trash being pursued by a group of armed thugs.  What made matters worse, he kept passing people and not one of them ever did anything to help.  After all the shit Clint had done for this city he would have hoped that someone, anyone, would do something to help him.  Instead, people just pulled out their cameras and started to film.

“No, please.  Go ahead.”  He yelled as he passed a group of giggling girls standing on the street corner filming as he ran past.  “Make sure you get my good side.  I’m fine by the way.  This is totally normal.”

“Get back here, archer dude!”  One of the thugs tailing him yelled out.

God, not even the hitman sent to kill him knew his call sign.  What was the fucking point?

Today had started so great too.  He had a new girlfriend.  You’d slept over for the first time.  He was pretty sure you were some kind of Jedi even though you kept saying you weren’t, and quite frankly even if that’s not what you were, the powers were the same and that was pretty awesome in his book.  You’d made him coffee and pancakes and bought them to him in bed before you’d headed home.  It was pretty a really great start to the day.

Then when he’d finally gotten up to take a bath, eight dudes had busted in his front door and started to shoot up the place.  He didn’t even have time to grab his bow.  Just his hearing aids off the sink and Lucky, who had landed on top of him when he’d landed in the dumpster, and was now on his heels barking at everyone, completely clean.  Meanwhile, Clint was streaking down Van Buren covered in trash and hoping he’d manage to get to your place without getting shot or stepping in something.

Well, there went that second one.  “What even was that?”  He said looking back over his shoulder to try and glimpse what he had stepped in while he did an awkward hop, run stagger move.  He was pretty sure he’d stepped in dog shit, but the loud bang and subsequent bullet whizzing past his head made him remember there were slightly more pressing matters.

“Shit.  Fuck.  People trying to kill me.  Forgot.”  He cursed as he started running flat out again.

He could see your building up ahead and he doubled down, sprinting as fast as his legs could carrying him, weaving in and out of the onlookers who were all still filming.  “Get inside you idiots, they’re shooting!”  He yelled.  Not that he was exactly sure why he’d warn them.  They weren’t exactly doing him any favors.  He was pretty sure his junk was already on Perez Hilton’s site with some dumbass speech bubble caption with a pun involving birds and peckers.  Probably they’d have his name listed as Hawkguy or something.

He made it to your door and pressed your buzzer.  “Come on, come on, come on.”  He muttered as he scraped his foot on the doormat.  It was dog shit.

In the only god damned stroke of luck, he’d had so far you picked up quickly.  “Hello?”  You said, your voice coming through the intercom crackly and far off.

“Hey, babe.  Could you maybe, let me up?”  There was another bang and a piece of brick exploded on the corner of the entryway.  “Now?”

He thanked the god of awesome girlfriends that instead of questioning him, you just hit the buzzer to let him inside.  He rushed through the security door and shoved it closed as the guys ran around the corner, giving them the finger through the thick security door as they fired at the door handle.

You were on the fourth floor and rather than waste time in the elevator he took the stairs, dashing up three at a time and bursting into the hallway.  You had already come to your door and were standing there waiting for him looking bewildered.  Lucky ran to you, jumping up, his tongue lolling out of his mouth and his tail wagging so fast it was just a blur.  “Hey, buddy.”  You said ruffling his fur before looking up at Clint.  “What’s going on?  Where are your clothes?”

“At home.  I - there was - ah futz.”  He muttered.  “I need you to do your Jedi trick on the guys downstairs.  Kinda now.  They’re trying to kill me.”

“I’m not a Jedi, Clint.  How many times?”  You said rolling your eyes.  “Turning themselves in?”

“Yes, please.”  He said coming over and kissing your cheek.

“Ugh, don’t kiss me.  You stink.”  You said, wrinkling your nose.  “Go inside.  I’ll take care of it.”

Clint went into your apartment and straight to your window, opening it and peering down onto the street below.  He could see the guys below gathered around the entry.  Only five of them were visible, so he assumed that the other three were either attempting to break in, or get someone to let them in.  Or both.  Probably both.

“God, they aren’t smart are they?”  He said to Lucky who had his paws up on the windowsill beside him.  The one-eyed dog wagged his tail and licked Clint’s face.

A moment later the group were all backing up into the street.  Clint turned his hearing aids up.  “Alright, see we’re back.  We just got some questions okay?”  One of the guys said.  You appeared in the street and glanced up.

“Aww, she’s putting on a show,”  Clint said, ruffling Lucky’s fur.  “Don’t tell her I said this but I think I’m falling in love with her you know?”

Lucky barked and wagged his tail faster.

“I think you should all put your guns down on the ground.”  You said waving your hand.  Your voice was raised a little, Clint assumed so he might have a better chance at hearing what was going on.

The eight men all started pulling guns out of pockets and holsters and the waistbands of their pants and putting them on the ground.  You made a gesture with your hands like you were lifting something and the guns all floated into the sky.  You then twisted your wrists and the guns fell apart and clattered to the ground.  The men backed up a little and you thrust your hand forward and made a fist.  “Uh-uh.  Not so fast.”  You shouted.  “You’re going to go to the police department and turn yourself in.  You’re going to confess to them everything you’ve ever done wrong in your lives, starting with the worst.  Then you’re going to snitch on every bad guy you know and not ask for any kind of deal.  Understood?”

The men all nodded their heads, though the fact you were holding them in place stopped them from acting on your instructions.  “Holy shit.”  Clint giggled.

“One last thing.  You’re going to take off all your clothes and walk to the station naked.”  You added releasing them from the force that had been holding them still.

They seemed frozen in place for a second and you waved your hand.  “Hurry up.”

The men all started to strip off as you stood in the street watching them.  Clint looked at Lucky, back down at you and at Lucky again.  “Yeah.  I’m done for.”  He said.

As the men started wandering down the street in the direction of the police station, cop cars began pulling up and surrounding them.  You had already disappeared inside and a few minutes later the front door opened.  Clint grinned at you and skipped over.  “Oh my god.  You are the best Jedi I have ever seen.”

“I’m not a Jedi.  Midichlorians would have been way less painful than what really caused these powers.”  You said.

“Don’t bring up Midichlorians.”  He said and leaned in to kiss you.  He was stopped by an invisible barrier you put up.

“No kissing you stink.  And you’re still naked. Go get in the shower.”  You said.

“Fine,”  Clint said with a smirk.  “Maybe… shower with me?”

You turned him around and pushed him in the direction of your bathroom.  “Get the garbage smell off you first.  Then I’ll join you.”

“Deal.”  He said and started moving on his own.  He stopped and turned back.  “Oh um… you think I can stay with you for a little while?  They shot up my place.”

You shook your head.  “Only you, huh, Clint?”

“Yeah,”  He said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

“Alright.  But shower.  Now.”  You said.

Clint grinned and skipped off to the shower.  Maybe today was going to be alright after all.

#clint barton #clint barton x reader #hawkeye #hawkeye fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #fluff #action #looking up

[mallalada]

I would be interested in eyebrow dyeing tricks

oh wild alright. do keep in mind that im not a professional and i just know this from personal experience etc etc

BLEACH:

if you are bleaching, i would recommend making it with more developer than you would for head hair, because if its thicker it will have a difficult time sticking to all the hairs properly, and youll end up with, like, stripes, its weird. unless you want stripes, of course, but there are definitely more controllable ways of doing stripes

for the life of me i cant actually remember the appropriate bleach powder to developer ratio, but just eye it to something that wont allow hairs to escape through its graininess but also wont drip into your eyes because thats what we in the biz* call a fucking problem

leave the bleach in for uhhhh like 20 minutes? i didnt cover mine with anything because i figured itd be a bother. my developer is 30 vol, and after that my brows were a distinct pale, very warm blonde, except for the missed patches. they were very dark, just about black, to begin with

eyebrows are very sensitive and delicate little areas, both in skin and hair, so if you bleach really just keep it to one round, if you have some unforgivable and obvious dark patches then fine yourself a sacrificial paintbrush and only get those areas, leave in for another 15-20 minutes

i washed all the shit out of my brows by wetting them over the sink (carefully - eyes) and shampooing them, and wiping them with a washcloth until its all gone. your eyebrows will feel kind of coarse and very dry after this. if you have a way of moisturising them, do that. let em rest for a while if you can bc idk it just seems cruel to jump into more futzing immediately after all that

* i am not in the biz, nor have i ever been. truly, i cannot communicate to you the vastness of my amateurism

DYE:

so i did mine red, in an unnatural way, like fire engine red, and it worked pretty well since the base bleached hairs were warm tinged

use a paintbrush, and CAREFULLY paint in your brow like youre filling it with makeup. make sure to get only the areas you want to be "part" of your brow. if youre me then you got tempted to try and get all the surrounding little baby hairs as well and subsequently had to spend 2 days in hiding because of how utterly ridiculous the extensive skin staining looked. do not do this.

in my experience the brows look best when the skin is still actually stained, but only the parts you meant. leave the dye for fuckin ages because who cares, but know that after a couple hours the dye might like dry a bit and be harder to wash out, but thats alright, just take your time and be gentle. youre essentially dyeing both the hair and the skin underneath, though the skin thing only lasts 3-5 days if youre careful. either reapply the dye or dont

its been 5-6 weeks since i did mine, and though ive been neglecting re-dyeing them because i dont feel like it, in terms of growth there are some fully black hairs mixes with orange ones, and overall its getting much darker again, and i look like i have naturally ginger brows from afar. i havent found any negative effects in terms of skin health in the area

NOTE for dark hair people - you might hate it. you might recoil reflexively because youre used to having very dark, obvious brows as a key feature of your face and having them suddenly much lighter than youre used to might make you feel ridiculous. dont worry about it, remember to keep applying the dye, youll get used to it and then youll be able to look at it beyond the base level recoil

wow i didnt know i had this much to say about eyebrows

#ask #eyebrow dyeing #lost-in-interwebs

[twinklecupcake]

I think it's a combination of the protagonist actually experiencing consequences and the fact that, overall, the world is shown to be recovering and adapting to the change. We don't really get that with SvtFoE?

I think part of it is also... the how and what is going on.

in SvtFoE, the magical and human worlds are going to be divided forever. It’s at first treated as something necessary. But Star can’t bear to b apart from her boyfriend of a few weeks, so she basically says “fuck my family and world” and tries to go to the human world. Whereas Marco was saying “fuck MY family and world, I wanna be with my 14-year-old girlfriend of a few weeks even though I’m mentally middle-aged at this point”.

It feels like they’re both giving the middle finger to everything they’ve ever known just for a brand-new relationship.

....in Weathering With You, however...

A 15-year-old girl’s life was at stake. Technically, she was already gone, as she’d ascended to the sky and was unconscious when Hodoka found her, and she’d been called “human sacrifice” several times. And yes, her sacrifice fixed the weather and brought back the sun but... As I said in my own post on it, it didn’t seem fair that a child had to die in order for that to happen.

And it wasn’t purely about Hodoka’s feelings for Hina, either. She left behind her little brother. Said brother even says in the climax, while he’s wrestling with the police officer: “You caused this, so fix it! Bring my sister back!”

Yeah, bringing her back to the human world made the weather futz up again. But there’s also something else Hodoka tells her during their freefall back home: “Make a wish for yourself.” Hina had been selfless, so selfless that she went to the sky to fix the weather. But her helping others so much was literally destroying her... and she was only 14, going on 15 by the end of the movie. It wasn’t fair.

Now, if these two were adults, then I might feel a little more miffed that they screwed the weather up again because Hodoka brought her back. But they’re not adults. They’re children. A child was going to die for the sake of the planet... and a child should not have to.

In addition, like you said, there’s the adapting. We only see the aftermath of SvtFoE’s merging of the worlds for a few minutes, but it’s obvious that it’s going to be awful. People are now in fear of being eaten, have lost their homes, monsters now have to deal with both Mewmans AND humans, and numerous magical species are dead.In Weathering With You, Japan has adapted. Yes, people lost their homes, but they aren’t homeless - they just went to higher ground, and it’s treated with more of a “Eh, what can you do?” than anything. Plantlife is thriving, and everyone has sort of just accepted this and moved on.Not to mention the two conversations with the old man and the grandma, who both suggest that this is nature taking back what humanity destroyed or took away. The way they see it, it’s less a disaster and more of Mother Nature making things go back to how it was before things like industrialism. “People are calling this rain record-breaking, but how far back do their records go? 200 years? 300? The planet was like this before and the rains stopped, it’ll happen again and keep happening.”

And on both subjects, there’s also another interesting point brought up on reddit. I’ll link it here, but the gist of it is: Hina sacrificing herself to fix the weather would have been an easy fix. But there shouldn’t have been an easy fix. Humanity did something to the planet, and now they have to live with the consequences and adapt. The essay points out that actions and consequences is another theme of the movie; and they say it far better than I so just read the post, please, it’s a great insight.

#svtfoe salt #weathering with you spoilers #Anonymous

[illegiblewords]

Explanation of design approach and some personality info under the cut.

Essentially, the way I’ve been approaching this I wanted to make each world feel like a self-contained and cohesive team. Nivienne is actually from Lamia and so isn’t designed to mesh with the others, but I use her a lot and have a design strategy for her so she’s included. For team Famfrit as a whole, I wanted to make sure that each personality and design would feel distinct and that the main color for each character would stand out. Most are also pretty obvious lol--black mage is black, red made is red, white mage is white. Areas I went different are gold dragoon (or aurum dragoon if we’re being fancy), purple scholar, green bard, orange ninja, blue warrior.

CENRIC ASHER

My main and a hyur midlander black mage. With him I wanted to push against the concept that hyurs are inherently vanilla or “boring”. Imo there is nothing wrong with designs that look like they could occur in nature, but with him I wanted to do an edgy personal spin in the classic Final Fantasy black mage look where the character is a dark silhouette with glowing eyes, a high collar, and a broad hat. Sometimes he wears other things too but the overall concept ties to that particular look. In personality Cenric is a pretty angsty guy due to having been a con artist who got a lot of people killed with medical fraud. He lies a lot out of fear of the reaction he’d get if his background was known. Possibly a little nuts, thinks he is the son of Nald’Thal and bound to spread death and destruction wherever he goes--striking enemies and allies alike, regardless of his own wishes. Probably actually just has Duskwight heritage. Has pretty hardcore imposter syndrome about being Warrior of Light, but in partial response to having been destitute and outcast for a long time he tries to play into the persona of a powerful, luxurious, mysterious black mage brimming with forbidden knowledge. In reality he is intimidated by most children, can’t whistle, and is a bit of a smartass when he’s not panicking his way through conversations.

J’MOR TIA

My red mage alt, I wanted to do a few experiments with him! One was that Red Mages usually read very sophisticated and swashbuckle-y to me, and I wanted to play more into the rapier as an almost roguish weapon. Very physical. He’s somebody who you initially would not assume is a magic user but who is just as versed and capable on that front as the ivory tower casters haha. I also wanted to make him a combination of ethnically black (contrasting Cenric who is ethnically Arab but weird) and a male miqo’te because I have never seen that combination before. I wanted him to feel very charming and like he has kind of rugged good looks. Just a bit too scruffy for pretty boy. Personality he is probably the most shonen hero of my alts lol. He has stuff he struggles with (he and his sister both wanted to be adventurers but she opted out after taking things way too far in a fight and getting scared of her own power) but doesn’t get stuck in his head nearly as much as some other characters do.

CESAIRE DELAROUX

I futzed with this guy for a while—main inspiration comes from a particular kind of horse called the Akhal-teke.

Also because I have seen some really cool and pretty elezen that specifically worked to play up gold as a color scheme, and in this case I wanted to evoke a kind of warm, soft golden light. Originally I was going to make him a contrast to Cenric and make him much paler, but I wound up going that route more with Asklona instead with drawing loose inspiration from certain forms of albinism. I went more gold to make sure Cesaire would stand out visually from Asklona. Another reason for this route is because I want to make a character who looks very light and pure, but in practice has hardcore bloodlust. XD Wanted one case for playing into that possible WoL element haha. I also thought it might be neat to make a character who could serve as a kind of foil to Zenos in many ways and might credibly say yes when invited to be besties. Cesaire is still a mostly heroic guy but I figure he’s a bit like Dexter if that makes sense.

KIYO SHIROGANE

An auri white mage from Hingashi! To me it felt a little odd that the Ruby Princess of Sui-no-Sato has more of a magenta color scheme than red. I wanted to tie Kiyo to Kugane specifically in part because I think the parallels between geomancy and white magic (land, sea, sky) are super cool imo, there are a fair number or Raen au ra in Kugane with less lore exploration, and I wanted to make a character whose past trailed behind her in a clear and interesting way while she travels. So for Kiyo I kind of took inspiration from the idea of a red pearl (pearls often being white as per the horns and scales but then she has vivid red hair) and from the idea of blood tied to injury and medicine. Plus ya know, white magic. I also took light inspiration from candles conceptually. I totally forgot that Shirogane is the housing district also lol so now she has backstory lore that her family had been heavily involved in establishing the area. Kiyo comes from a large and noble family with a ton of political and economic influence, being herself somewhat sheltered and naïve. She is very sincere, playful, outgoing, and does her best to be kind. Very animated!

OSK YASKARET

For Osk, I was essentially going (ʘ_ʘ;;) because I knew that I hadn’t used ANY brown hair so far and it was making so uncomfortable lol. So I thought about what combination would be appropriate, distinct, and striking enough to fit within the cast while also being distinct. Gray and brown feel like chinchilla colors to me and I think are nice in a way that wouldn’t be out of place with rabbits/viera. I wanted dark eyes since again, I hadn’t yet for this group... so dark purple wound up being her main color. Since I was going scholar, I also wanted to keep the sense of intellect and feeling like a healer without being mistakable for astrologian or white mage. I still want to build into her look, but another aspect I wanted to incorporate--saw a lot of people arguing about the inherent sensuality of Viera, so I figured for her I wanted to make her look elegant and sophisticated but more conservative in glamours. I didn’t want her to instantly read like she hopped out of the woods either. Figure she’d have had time to adapt since.

I’m still very much debating backstory and personality or her but am leaning toward her being the offspring of a viera who left the woods while pregnant. I like the idea of Osk wanting to connect with her heritage but feeling somewhat adrift. I also want to incorporate Nym lore because omg I want more Nym in-general. Personality I do think Osk is probably a little bit of a smug bunny but things remain super tenuous.

ASKLONA WANNEYNWYN

Asklona I literally wanted to make a super soft feeling, hyper feminine lady roegadyn because most interpretations I’ve seen have been either harder feminine or tomboyish. Still fun imo, but given the grief some fans heap on femroes I really wanted to show that this kind of look is doable. I usually try to incorporate the black noses on Hellsguard designs (tiger roooooes) while with Seawolves I tend to push either fully into something natural or fully into something unnatural. So ex. the most desaturated option or else just run with blues and greens. Asklona is specifically a bard because it is pretty and fancy imo and I haven’t seen a lot of roegadyn bards in-general. Asklona I mentioned before is modeled off of certain kinds of albinism, but by that I want to make the disclaimer that pink eyes don’t generally occur in people (pale blue or violet is more likely) and that normally there are some eyesight problems that come with the condition as well as ease of getting sunburn. I don’t necessary play into that with Asklona/am going artistic license because I mean final fantasy we can lift swords bigger than we are. I know these things get overlooked a lot though so it seemed worth specifying. My choice to go this route was because I wanted to make myself use more pastels lol and I figured this would be a fun spot to contrast Cenric. I think in backstory Asklona’s father lost his mind to a siren, and Asklona pursuing adventuring as a bard is partly to take revenge and partly in the hopes that she can call her father back with song. Her involvement becomes more complicated over time but I think that’s the general direction. I picked green for her color scheme because it’s a color that feels like it evokes both the woods of Gridania and the sea itself... and because pink is a shade of red and with green being complementary, I figured it would make the pinks stand out a lot. Asklona is tied to Limsa Lominsa and besides looking for outfits that will flatter her body type I am trying to evoke the ocean in her designs. Pirates, sailors, the works. Personality I am still figuring out a bit but I think Asklona is definitely a shameless flirt, can read as insensitive and self-centered at times as she indulges in what makes her happy. She plays herself off as much more shallow than she is and in-general focuses on pursuing pleasure as a way of avoiding heavier issues.

KOKONO KONO

The scrappy daughter of a Doman fox auspice and a Thavnairian lalafell, Kokono saw her mother waste away with homesickness after fleeing the Garlean occupation. She has two brothers, one who returned to Doma while the other remains in Thavnair witht her father. Kokono hates the idea of loving a place so much you would die over it and decided to travel Hydaelyn, causing mischief while indulging a deep-rooted curiosity and love for discovering new places. Has severe commitment issues. Can be prone to swearing and being insensitive because the shocked reactions amuse her a lot, but her heart is ultimately in the right place. I designed her literally to make a lalafell fox because with the dark nose option + werewolf ears it is SO EASY to make tiny canines and I don’t understand why more people don’t do this. Like I could make an elegant white fox lalafell or a yorkshire terrier lalafell or any number of things. We can have itty bitty dogs! And like Kiyo I wanted some background to be evident in her clothes too. I designed her before I picked her backstory and mainly went for rule-of-cute/what would most evoke the red coat of a fox.

SVATOMIR AZORYA

Last of team Famfrit, he’s a Warrior Hrothgar. Very conceptually rough, I’m interested in playing him much more reserved and traditionally masculine in a lot of ways. I think a character in that vein will help balance out against the other Warriors of Light I made for that world. Design goal here was to make him look as wolf-like as possible haha. I think we have plenty of cat people already with Miqo’te.

NIVIENNE LECLAIR

From Lamia, I’ve talked a bit about her before so copypasting that in.

Basically, when I decided to try doing the whole WoL/Emet-Selch fic writing misadventure it was just a personal challenge for funsies. I’d seen other people do some really interesting and impressive stuff using unnamed lady WoLs. Hadn’t really tried something like that myself so I decided to go full improv with it.

Except my instincts tend toward specificity lol, so I scattered details according to what would make for fun scenarios or cute details. I wanted the lady to be a certain level of tall so I went with elezen. I needed to describe a readily portable weapon that would mesh with that sweet, sweet Amaurotine lore, so I made her a summoner. So on and so forth. Very seat-of-the-pants.

Particularly since the fic I have coming up is gonna be bigger, I’m thinking name is okay now lol.

Cenric as my black mage main is a dark, broody guy who doesn’t quite realize he’s nicer and sillier that he gives himself credit. So I decided Nivienne should be much more socially adept (read: not a lameass poser), very mischievous, confident… but lowkey has some heavy shit going on. Girl can be ruthlessly manipulative. Other WoLs of mine have different personalities.

As I was going through fic stuff, I decided I wanted to visually tie to and contrast with Emet-Selch since shipping. He’s got gold eyes and accents on his regalia? She’ll go silver, but her skin will have a more golden tone. He’s got dark hair with a white streak? She’ll have light gray hair, tie into the ruff of his coat. So on and so forth.

Name-wise, I actually fucked up initially by going too on-the-nose. Nivienne is another (more elezen-French) name for Nimue. Given how that story goes I figured it would be fitting here.

As a couple of other notes--color scheme being gray was experimenting to try for a different-but-distinct summoner aesthetic. I wanted to play up horns/third eye concepts (not strictly in the Garlean sense) and create a vibe that wouldn’t feel like white mage, or red mage, or black mage, etc. I also saw people arguing that female casters all end up looking like magical girls, so I wanted to really make sure that she had a different look from that while still being very feminine.

#final fantasy xiv #final fantasy xiv screenshots #final fantasy 14 #ffxiv #ff14

[soft-butch-cassidy]

p1/p2/p3

“What the hell was that?”

Drifter blinked and turned his head. “What?”

She had the gun pointed at him again. Flames licked along the coiling Taken energy. “What. The hell. Was that?”

“What was… oh. Oh, haha!” Drifter grinned. “Didja like that?”

“You’re just toting around… what, a damn portion of Unknown Space? That’s what that rock is?”

“Somethin’ like that.”

“What are you doing with them?”

“Them?”

“You know who I’m talking about.”

Oh, he did.

Slowly, she lowered her gun. “You’re insane.”

“I sure am.”

“Are you doing something with them, or are they doing something with you?”

He could only laugh in answer.

He was so hungry.

“So why now?” She stared at him. “You can’t even talk about it, can you?”

“You still curious, then? Still dyin’ to find out what I’m up to? ‘Cause I sure as hell am.”

She took a step back. “No one can understand them. They’re going to kill you.”

He shrugged.

“I… I…”

She pitied him, almost, he realized. Still didn’t like him. Didn’t trust him.

He twitched his head at a whisper and shoved at it with his thoughts. I’m busy, he snarled in his head. Piss off, I’ll get to you later. Shut up. “So what’re you gonna do now?”

“I don’t know.”

He reached onto the table and grabbed a part of the bank he’d been futzing with. “Here. Gift. From me, not them.” He held it out.

She took it. “Why?”

He dropped another coin into her hand. “Mote synthesizer. Those ain’t just fancy little coins. They’re Synths. Don’t ask me how it works. Your Ghost can figure it out, or enough to get what you need to know. Try Reconning again. S’what I’m callin’ it.”

“How many Guardians are going to try this?”

“I dunno.”

“There are kids running around out there calling themselves Dredgen because of you.”

“You’re--”

She lifted the gun again. “Don’t. I made it damn clear the first time you said that to me how I felt about it. Say it again and you better hope your Ghost is smart enough to hide, because I might make an exception to my own rule.”

He raised both hands beside his head. “I ain’t tellin’ those kids to go be genuinely evil or nothin’, you know.”

“They’re the ones who play Gambit most. The ones who are good at it. The ones with copies of this.”

“You’ve got the original, though. What’s it say about you?”

“That I’m the strongest Guardian you’ve ever seen.” There wasn’t a tremble to her hand. “Because I can feel what this thing is capable of and I know I’ll never use it. But all those other Guardians? They’re young. Impressionable. Scared. They’re gonna use whatever they think will keep them safe, make them strong, but they’re not ready for it.”

“And you’re so sure you are?”

“Do you think I’m not?”

“Sister, I’m one a the oldest Risen in the system, and I ain’t ready for it.”

“Then I’m that much stronger than you.”

“The horrors I’ve seen--”

“The gods I’ve killed.”

“The places I’ve been.”

“The throne world of the Taken King.”

“You can’t keep sayin’ Oryx as your answer for everything.”

“Then what? What, Drifter, do you want? From me? I can promise you, nothing you’ve seen, nowhere you’ve been, can compare to that. You can talk about Lightless worlds and whatever monsters you’ve eaten. But I killed the unkillable. I killed the most powerful god in the universe. I killed a being so powerful that it made armies of slaves bent to its will, so powerful that He took Himself. I invaded His throne world, his Ascendant Realm, and I did the impossible.”

“You proved him right.”

“I didn’t. That’s the thing, isn’t it?” Malfeasance was at her hip again. “Toland calls me a squanderer. I could have taken His place. Taken His throne. And I didn’t. I. Don’t. Need. One. I am the strongest Guardian to ever live, and I will stand against anything the Darkness puts in front of me, and I will use anything to keep people safe. They’re the only thing that matters.”

“You think I’m insane.”

“I never said I wasn’t. I said I know what I’m fighting for. Do you?”

“Does it matter?”

She slowly shook her head. Not in agreement, that it didn’t matter. Dismissing him. “We’re immortal. We die over and over. And you don’t know why you live.”

“If I did, I wouldn’t tell you.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“So you really, all you wanna do, just fight for all these folks you’ll outlive anyway?”

“Yes.”

“That little Fallen girl you’re into is gonna die one day, too.”

That made her tense. “Don’t call her Fallen.”

He scoffed. “Maybe you’re crazy for that.”

“I think I’m crazy because I haven’t torched you alive yet,” she hissed. “Don’t push it. Don’t talk about her. Don’t even think about her. You’ll die before you ever lay eyes on her, trust me on that, Drifter.”

“You love her?”

“Yes.”

He… hadn’t expected the immediate answer. He’d expected some kind of flowery poetry or something. But just yes. Nothing else. No hesitation.

Huh. “You really… are in love… with an alien?”

“What’s it matter? She’s in love with an alien too. What defines an alien, Drifter? Born on another planet? Exos weren’t reborn on Earth. She is everything to me.” She said something in Eliksni. The rough translation was “more than all the Ether from every Prime” but really meant something more like “the most important thing in the universe.”

It took a bit too much self control not to say what he wanted to say, which was, “I can’t believe you’re fighting this hard for one little bug.” What he said instead was, “Didn’t realize how important she was to you. Knew you had a soft spot for one of ‘em, but… love’s a big deal.”

“Have you ever been in love, Drifter?”

He stared at her.

“Or just… hell, ever loved, at all?” She shifted her weight. There was a pain in her voice. Regret, almost. “I’m not fighting for me. I hate this. Every second I spend subjecting myself to whatever hell I need to grow my strength is a nightmare. But I love her. So I’ll do what it takes to make a world where she and I don’t need to fight anything, and we can just live, together.”

He leaned against the railing. “You’re selfish.”

Aurora shrugged. “Whatever you want to think. She’s the reason that I’m sane. All the shit that I’ve seen, that I’ve done, that I’ve killed… she’s the brightest light in the entire damn universe and I would tear apart galaxies for her.”

“Selfish,” he repeated. He spun a coin over his fingers. “That girl’s the only thing keepin’ you from claimin’ Oryx’s throne, ain’t she?”

“Not the only thing.” She shook her head. “I love her with every metaphorical cell in my body. But it’s not just her. It’s… what she means, I guess, too. Just… she’s ordinary. And that makes her the most special person in the universe. She’s never done anything spectacular. She’s not a god killer or an undead warrior or anything like what I am. But she still… loves me. Not for being a hero, or for my power, but for me. There’s nothing that could tempt me away from that. Even my friends see me different after Ghaul. Even Cayde…”

Drifter caught the coin in his palm. “Ain’t that just the damnedest thing, then, huh? You don’t wanna be a hero?”

“I don’t care,”she said, almost harsh. “I don’t want glory. I don’t want people to look at me in awe. Maybe I wanted it once, but now… I just want to be normal. I want to be like anybody else and just live a happy, peaceful life with Mikris. But the universe told me to go fuck myself. So I’m going to make it let me live the life I want. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But there will come a day when I can just sleep in on a lazy morning with the woman I love and not worry if the universe will be destroyed at any moment. I don’t care if that’s selfish of me.” Her voice cracked. “I deserve it.”

Drifter eyed her for a few long moments, thinking carefully. He took a breath and sighed. “Damn if that ain’t what we all want,” he said softly. He drummed his fingers on the rail. “Y’know… I been thinkin’. And…” He hesitated. Now or never, though. “I’m not good at talkin’ about this kinda stuff. I… am way too horrible of a person for you to be associating with. You’re a very good person, Aurora. City’s stupid as hell for not seein’ that. And you’re putting yourself in a whole lotta danger.”

“Okay,” she said, cautious.

“I don’t really know where I’m goin’ with this. You’re not like anyone I ever met, and I’ve met some real strange people. We both know that somethin’ is on the horizon, and it ain’t gonna be pretty. The dogs are at the door… what other metaphors are there? Anyway, whatever, look… I wanna help you. You deserve that good, peaceful life. And I know you don’t trust me. You don’t have to. Don’t even gotta like me. But… can you trust that I’ll try to help you out with that? With dealing with what’s coming?”

Aurora eyed him for a few long seconds before slowly nodding. “Okay,” she said finally. “You’re just about the only person really preparing for what’s coming, anyway.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, I’ve been preppin’ for the end since day one, I think. But I’ll have your back. If, y’know…”

“I have yours?” she finished dryly.

Drifter shrugged. “I got a lotta folks on my tail. Lotta enemies. You’ve got some eyes on you, too, but I’m a little worried that some of the people comin’ for me might see you, too.”

“I’m not worried about it.”

“You would be if I said names.”

“No, I wouldn’t be.”

“You’re real creepy, sister.” He tapped a coin against the rail, only to wince at the sound and slip it back into his sleeve. “I mean this as a promise, you know.”

“Yeah. As long as you don’t say anything else about my House, consider me an ally.”

“Ally? Ouch.” He grinned. “Eh, I’ll take what I can get.”

She scoffed and shook her head. “I can’t stay much longer,” Aurora told him. “Be… careful. With all that stuff with the Nine. If you can. I’ll… see you around, I guess.”

“Yeah. Gambit?”

“You’ll be around Nessus this week?”

“Sure will.”

“I’ll see you then.”

#cas chats #cas writes stuff #oc tag #aurora-11

[culturepopper]

Hecate Eats Ice Cream

I’m in the middle of writing a lemon fic for Feb but Bad Magic came in and futzed with my headcanon. There was a bunch in the episode that everyone is either losing their shit over, being anon-tacked for, or just getting trolled about. I’ve read some amazing thoughts by @meridelclarke @cosmic-llin  @nervouspearl @subcutaneous7 and @cassiopeiasara and wanted to at my shiny pennies mainly so I can keep track of my thoughts. Also, does anynoe else want to see Hecate eat ice cream on a waffle cone, like really bad?

- Hecate is always going to step in, black lacquered nails pointed and fingers spread in defense of those she cares about. It's instinctive for her. She’ll be the one to give up her magic so the girls have a chance to live magical lives. She’ll be on guard when Julie (or literally anyone) gets too close or seems to be a threat to Ada or the girls. She will throw herself in front of a power-mad irrational non-witch, knowing the consequences to prevent harm from coming to one of her own. Hecate decided in this episode to let Mildred know that she will be and is looking out for her, even if she’s unable to see it. She’s confessed SOOO much to her! Like almost too much?! Her first name is actually Joy (meanwhile, I lost my mind when she told her my middle name is Hecate, my first name is Joy. What a setup.). She had a best friend named Indigo who was the first person who “saw her” when she was a tragically lonely child. She confessed just how lonely she was and the lengths she was willing to go to keep her friend near. I feel for the Hicsqueakers b/c when Hecate says that she cut herself off from her friend, Pippa included, it feels like the real heartbreak for her non-straight childhood might have actually been her love of Indi? It could be Pippa who she was having feelings for but Indi also seems like there might have been something else. 

- It would be in direct opposition to every moment of character-building in the series if Hecate was confined to the school and its grounds against her will as an adult b/c of some Stockholm-esq reason or because it was lifetime confinement. I also refuse to accept the insane premise that Ada is enforcing the terms of that confinement. Ada is kind and generous to a fault. She finally listened to her Deputy only after it was too late re: Julie - not the first time that’s happened (see Miss Mould). Hecate is the exact person who would over-punish herself to atone for what she did (AS A CHILD). The witches at Cackles who would have bound her to the grounds would have been Alma and the other faculty of which Ms. Bat would surely have been one of! Even if Ms. Bat didn’t agree with the decision to confine her, she would have known all the witches who did. We should probably also mention the emotional trauma a 15 yr. old would face when she watched her best friend be turned into stone in the forest. She’d be able to visit her as often as she liked and relive that moment forever. Does anyone but Hecate and now Mildred even know there’s a statue of a girl in the forest?

- Some temporal mechanics: If Hecate has been punishing herself for 30 years and she started that punishment when she was about 15 (that’s Bella Ramsay’s current age), then that would make her about 45. I always thought she was closer to 50 bio and maybe 65 in witch years. Let’s also assume Ada is roughly 55. That would have made her 25 when this shit was going down. She could have been at witching college, or working at another school for experience or pursuing a higher level of education like a masters if she was going to be running this centuries old institution. I don’t think she was teaching at Cackles, mainly b/c she would have been too young and Alma wasn’t ready to retire.

- When Hecate was turned into Softbroom, what’s the first thing she did (other than let her hair down)? Dance. Dancing is something she’s loved to do since she was a free-wheeling child experimenting with rules and power, just like most of us did at her age. 

- Re: miniaturized Ada in the clay castle - Have you ever seen Hecate go on a 2-second face-journey with that much adoration in her expression when looking at anyone other than Ada? She held Ada with both hands in the way you would hold your most cherished possession. As she found when Ada (and eventually her) was stuck in the picture by Agatha, she was able to still see and hear everything. I’m sure the last thing Hecate would want Ada to feel was small, literally or figuratively. She could have picked up any mini person and held them with concern, but she didn’t. She picked up Ada, held her close and smiled tenderly before gently placing her back where she found her.

- WHAT DO YOU KNOW MS. BAT? She has seen it all. I just want to take her out for drinks and listen to all of her stories. She knows them all. She’s got the skinny on Ada and Hecate as youths. 

- I’m a wee bit shook that Hecate went to Cackles. Massive blow to the headcanon. I wanted Hecate to be Ada’s first hire after coming to Cackles from somewhere like Pentagles or Amulets and witching uni. I thought Hecate went to Pentagles assuming Pippa’s mother ran that school just like Alma ran Cackles. Now it would seem that Pippa and Hecate were classmates at Cackles. Does that mean Pippa started her own school? 

- I’m a bit sad for the Hubblestar ship. Julie’s gone. We didn’t get to see the closure b/w Miss Drill and Julie. There are still possibilities! I can think of 20 ideas off the top of my head to spin that ship back into existence but I still feel for that loss.

- If Broomhead was canonically supposed to be one of Hecate’s teachers, was she employed at Cackles? When Hecate graduated from Cackles didn’t she go to witch uni? Isn’t that where she would have encountered Broomhead? I want to know how they plan on handling that influence. If Hecate was already determined to never break the code again, tight bun in place, and then met Broomhead later, what other damage did she do before becoming a teacher?

#hecate hardbroom #ada cackle #tww2017 spoilers #tww17 #hackle #otp: all that we are #thanks for coming to my culturepopper talk #i just want to finish my fic but now i don't know how to move on with the new info #i just want to be a fly on the wall in the writers room

[cursed-to-be-a-sidekick]

This was supposed to be a writing exercise. It was also supposed to be from Kate’s perspective and a fight scene. If you bother to actually read it you will quickly find that I failed at the prompt. 

Warning it’s pretty depressing because Children’s Crusade 

Word count is 1425 words. I did not count. I should’ve been working on my novel instead. Anyways this is the first time I’ve ever written fanfiction but I needed inspiration so I really don’t care if it’s only whatever. 

Anyways without further ado the one time Clint gets to be the less disastrous Hawkeye. (Matt Fraction inspired ish)

The Less Disastrous Hawkeye

This looks bad.

Kate's not drunk. At least she insists she's not drunk. In actuality there may be a chance that she's a little bit of a lot of bit drunk. But still she's insistent. She'd never tell anybody what was really going on. And so long as it concerns anybody else Kate Bishop is not drunk. Even if she did almost pass out on Clint Barton's couch.

"Katie-Kate I think that's enough." Clint says as he takes a bottle of beer out of her hand. It wasn't hers. Clint left it out, he was drinking it before he fell asleep watching Dog Cops. The thud of the other Hawkeye walking into his room woke him up. Damn falling asleep with hearing aids in. 

Kate mumbles something in response and he picks her up slinging her over his shoulder and plopping her into his bed. No it was not like that. Kate's his protege. A slightly less disastrous version of him. The slightly becoming more slight each night. He returns back to the couch takes out his hearing aids and falls back asleep. When he wakes up in the morning he will have to deal with hungover Kate. Might as well get as much sleep as possible before then.

These types of nights have been becoming more and more common. Kate goes out, sometimes it's one of her dad's parties, sometimes it's just on her own. She gets drunk. And Clint winds up babysitting her at three in the fucking morning.

It happens about three nights a week now. And he's starting to get concerned about his fellow Hawkeye. He could ask her what's wrong but Kate's never in the mood to talk and he's not so good at feelings. And so he lets it go on. For about three months. 

At this point Kate is bordering around alcoholic. Half the time when he sees her she's barely coherent or asleep. So he does what any sensible man who's worried about his partner in crime (again, not in that way) would do.

He locks her in his bedroom. 

Well when put like that it sounds a bit strange. And she's a Hawkeye she can break out from a locked room. His bet is that Kate's going to be too hungover to do anything. And that's when they can talk.

It works like a charm. If a charm screamed at you for the entirety of thirty minutes before collapsing on the ground hitting the door and sobbing. After about an hour of that he opens the door to see the archer fall back head hitting the floor and then jumping up. She must've fallen asleep.

"Girlie-girl we need to talk." Clint says firmly. Kate sighs but doesn't move from where she lies on the floor. Weakly she holds her hand up to give him the finger before closing her eyes.

When she wakes up she's lying on the couch, she opens her eyes slightly to glare at Clint. "Futz you Barton." She says in a voice that reflects exactly how she feels. Which is, like shit.

"Good to see you too Hawkeye." Clint responds. He lifts her head up and puts a pillow underneath and sits on the couch next to her giving her a very concerned look. "I called Billy."

"Why are you going to have an intervention or something." Kate murmurs putting her hand up above her head to slightly cover her eyes. Clint hands her an aspirin and a glass of water which she takes. When she puts it down she continues "I'm fine."

"I didn't realize fine included you passing out in my apartment drunk almost every day this week." Clint fires back. Kate groans and gives him the finger again.

"Futz off." Kate says a little more bark backing it up this time. It causes Lucky's head to pop up from his dog bed to stare at them. As far as all of them are concerned this is about the most Kate's spoken in weeks.

"Talk to me Hawkeye." 

"I thought feelings weren't your thing." Kate mutters. She sits up slightly. Clint thinks maybe it's her willing to talk but she just takes the pill bottle off the coffee table to take a few more. 

"Girlie calm down I don't want you to O.D." Clint jokes.

Silence follows and Kate is hesitant before finishing the glass of water and taking the pills in her hand. She doesn't say anything for a long time. 

That's when it clicks. Clint takes the bottle off the table and looks at Kate. "Oh my god. Don't tell me that's what you're trying to do."

Kate still says nothing. 

Clint doesn't know what to do next. Does he call Tony and tell him what's going on? Scott? The rest of the Young Avengers for crying out loud? He doesn't do any of those things. Instead he puts his hand on Kate's, who still hasn't lied back down yet and decides telling Iron Man how much of a failure he is at mentoring is not the best thing to do in the situation.

So he waits for Kate to finally say something.

And when she does it's clear that she's not prepared in any possibility to actually speak. The tears come first followed by a series of words so muffled Clint wonders if he accidentally did something to the hearing aids. After a few minutes of Kate trying to pull herself back together she says:

"What are we doing Clint?" She motions around the room. At the discarded ramen packets, the coffee stains, the dog hair, take out boxes, bear bottles, all of it. "We aren't equipped for this. For being fucking superheroes." Kate dropping the f-bomb instead of saying futz was new. It meant something was seriously wrong. Something's spinning in Bishop's head.

Kate continues giving Clint a minute to process what she said "I mean look at us. We're disasters. The only reason I'm not covered in bandaids and you're not half dead is because I've been drunk so often and you've been babysitting me. And none of it's even worth anything. We're not like Captain Marvel, or Iron Man or even futzing Spiderman. We run around with bows and arrows and we almost futzing die. We should be dead by now and somehow we're not."

That's when Clint realizes that's what this is all about. Everytime Kate gets like this it's because of one thing. The event deemed as the Children's Crusade. Wiccan and Speed got their mother back but the team, and Kate, lost something more.

"It should have been me Clint." Kate says finally "Of all of us we could've lost I'm the one who nobody needs. I'm just plain old boring Hawkeye."

"Hey!" Clint replies defensively. Kate gives him a slight smile. Well that's something. "I'd like to think that us Hawkeyes are more than our injuries."

Another smile. Slight, barely there but Clint can see it. She wipes some tears from her face and then continues her spiel. "I don't have superpowers, I barely have training. Cassie, she could've been a futzing Avenger. A real one. It's my fault too. I was team leader. It wasn't official but everyone looked to me for leadership, and I let Cassie die." The tears return, harder, and she reaches for a Budweiser can Clint left out on the coffee table that he quickly takes away.

"You don't need that Girlie." Clint says "'sides it tastes like crap anyways." He finishes off the can and shakes it to make sure there's nothing left before tossing it over the back of the couch. Then he rests Kate's head against his chest and wraps his arms around her awkwardly because emotions and hugging have never been his thing. He's convinced that her tears are going to mess up his shirt but it doesn't matter. He just let's her cry.

After what feels like an eternity of Kate crying and Clint holding her he here's a muffled "Thanks Hawkeye." He knows Bishop hates asking for help. Maybe even more than he does. And she hates it more than admitting she's wrong. So when she says "I was wrong. Thanks for helping." Clint is astonished. It's probably one of the highest forms of praise he's ever gotten from the younger archer. 

"Anytime Hawkeye." He replies debating if the next step is to give her back the bow and see what happens next. That's always worked for him. After all he is the older, wiser and now slightly less disastrous Hawkeye. 

#kate bishop #hawkeye #clint barton #hawkeye and hawkeye #my writing

[psychic-timetraveler]

Finally got around to writing something. Was heavily inspired by RBF’s new single out. Been futzing with this since Friday when the single dropped, but had been super busy this weekend with a Haunted House Saturday and all. Either way. Here’s a cute little oneshot I did with Brad and Rose.

____

“Checkered or Hawaiian?”

Rose sighed, she was never asked normal questions by her best friend. Just the most obscure questions that only she could properly answer. “I don’t know, Brad, what coloured pants are you wearing?”

The other end of the phone was silent and she had to make sure he didn’t hang up on her… again. Finally he answered, “I didn’t get that far…” She heard him trail off on the other end of the phone.

Another sigh. “I hate you. I swear, you take longer to get ready than I do.” To be fair, she was sitting in front of a mirror working on the perfect winged eyeliner to match her ‘fuck me’ red lipstick.

“Okay, like you’re not done your makeup yet.”

“Hey!” She exclaimed before laughing a bit. “Can’t rush perfection. These wings are gonna slit throats.”

From the other end of the phone, she could hear his eye roll. “And you’re calling me bad.”

“At least I can dress myself properly.” She retorted.

“Nah, not sassy enough. No pass, I win.”

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. “You’re annoying.”

“Thank you. Now, I’m going to ask again; Hawaiian or checkered? That decision will determine the pant colour.”

“Why should that determine the colour of your pants? You only wear neutral coloured pants so, what’s the huge deal.”

“There’s a science behind this, Ro.”

She took a deep breath. “Bradley, you could barely pass 7th grade science on your own. That’s not a thing you should compare dressing yourself to.”

“Low blow, fine. Just fucking answer the question.”

“Are you wearing a t-shirt under said Hawaiian shirt?”

The other end of the phone went silent again. This time, Rose held in a laugh as she could hear his brain fizzle out. She finally perfected the eyeliner and they both looked even enough for her liking, now it was time for mascara. As she picked up her tube of mascara and began to apply it, she started talking again.

“Hey, ya still there, doof?”

“I hate you right now.”

She smiled. “I know. God forbid I threw a wrench into your odd system you have going for yourself.”

“Ya know I was having a good day up until that point. I did not think that through at all.”

“It shows.”

“Fuck.”

“Do I need to come over and dress you because you are somehow incapable of doing it yourself?” She laughed and tossed her mascara haphazardly on her makeup tray.

“No, I can do it myself. I’m a big boy.”

“So you insist.” Rose laughed, standing up from her chair and making her way to the closet to find footwear.

They were going to a ska concert on the beach, so converse were not a good choice. Tempting, but not an ideal choice. Sand can get into the grommets on the sides of the shoe too easily and that would not be ideal. Flip flops are always a terrible concert footwear, despite being on the beach.

“Okay maybe I might need help… But you don’t have to come over and do it.”

“Fine. Your Reel Big Fish tank top, short sleeved Hawaiian shirt, uh… khaki chinos. As for which exact shirt, that’s all you buddy. I have enough faith in you to make that decision yourself.”

She heard loud crackling from the other end of his phone as he quickly, and probably haphazardly, began to find all of her suggestions. “Okay what about footwear? Converse or converse?”

“I was trying to avoid Converse, personally. Don't want sand in my shoes.” She finally caught a glimpse of her checkered Vans under a pair of fallen over knee high combat boots. “I’m wearing my checkered Vans.”

“Should I wear my all white ones?” He asked, as a loud thud came from his end of the phone.

The loud noise made her cringe a bit. “Drop your phone?” She plucked out her shoes and slid into those, struggling a bit with the left foot.

“Yes. Whatever though, I’m wearing those. Fuck it, good enough. I’m leaving now, be over in a couple of minutes then.”

“Finally!”

“Shut up, see you soon.”

With that, he hung up on her before she even had a chance to say anything in response. It was probably for the best. He was probably half falling down the stairs on his way out of the house anyway, the less distractions he had the better. Brad Slater was not the most stealthy of lads, tall and awkward and less than graceful. Bless his soul does he try though.

With only a minute and a half to get outside, she quickly grabbed her purse and spritzed herself with the closest perfume she could find. It so happened to be this one that smelled like suntan lotion and coconuts. Not her favorite of the body sprays she had but it worked and was fitting for her outfit. Her checkered vans, matching checkered shorts, and bright red Reel Big Fish tank top that seemingly worked together with a beach and ska theme her and Brad were going for unintentionally.

Content with how she looked for the concert that evening, she ran out of her room and right out the front door. Of course stopping to lock it, that left her just enough time to run to the mail box as Brad’s shitty 1999 Honda Accord pulled up.

He didn’t even lower his sunglasses as he yelled out the already open window, “get in loser, we’re going to a concert.”

Rose was mostly grateful that he actually stopped the car this time. Last time they were running partially behind schedule for a concert, he slowed down enough that she could just jump in the moving vehicle before speeding off down the street. She settled into the seat and they were off. Partially down the street, she slid her sunglasses onto her face.

Once the two were looking cool in their sunglasses, Brad turned up the Less Than Jake CD to blast out the open windows. He stopped at a red light and the two looked over at each other and exchanged smiles.

“This is going to be a good night.” Brad nodded.

“God damn right.”

“Wish it wasn’t a three hour drive.” He then sighed, shaking his head.

“At least your aunt is nice enough to let us stay with her.” Rose then reminded.

“That’s correct, Miss Davis. I have to remember to text her when we get there.” The light changed green and he was off again, probably a bit too over the speed limit than what was posted. “Remind me.”

“I will try.” She nodded, brushing her blowing hair out of her face from the open window. “No promises, dude. Then again, we would’ve gotten an earlier start if someone wasn’t incapable of dressing himself.”

“Okay, I will turn this car around right now if you even so much as think of that whole ordeal.” He threatened.

Rose nodded. “Alright, fine.” She then covered her mouth to hide her grin from him.

“I hate you.”

“Likewise, asshole.” She made sure he saw that smile.

He returned the smile without taking his eyes off the road. “Slut.”

“Dick.”

“Whore.”

“Prick.”

And with that, the two just went into the insult verse of their favorite Reel Big Fish song while the Less Than Jake CD still blasted out the windows. Pity the poor souls who had to put up with them at the concert that evening.

#oc: brad #oc: rose #category: time traveler #all or nothing team #writing post #one shots

[davidpwilson2564]

Bloglet

Friday, January 21, 2022

I learn that Theater 80 St Mark’s Place, not having survived the pandemic, may be forever shuttered and might even be subject to the wrecker’s ball.  The theater is of special significance to me because, newly arrived in the city, in the late Sixties, I did my first “sub” there. Now...to get to Theater 80 one walks east from Astor Place, past W H Auden’s (much written about) old apartment (77 St. Mark’s).    W H Auden was the last thing on my mind when I went to sub “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown” having seen the original percussion play it a couple of times.  Just a word about the show.  Very simple forces...  Just piano and percussion (a drum set and a vibraphone...)  Music by Joe Raposo, of Sesame Street fame.  Little in the way of props.  A toy piano and, oh yes, a doghouse.   This was, as we remember, a musical version of Charles Schultz’s “Peanuts” characters. Young actors (some of them later to be famous) took the roles of children.  And, of course, an integral part in all of this is the family dog. This show was perfect for community and school performances and has enjoyed a long and healthy life. And the late Sixties was a time off-off Broadway was thriving.  Actors were getting a start.  It was, for them, an exciting time.  The theater was small as were the audiences but there were many performances. Sometimes, I think, three a day. This is what made it necessary to get a sub.  If you were lucky, having gotten your name out there, you might one day move to a larger project, nearer the Big Lights uptown. The pianist was pleasant and we hit it off.  One Saturday after having knocked off a couple of shows I was conscious of having to pee.  I found the men’s room and a graffito that, I think, had to have been left behind by the young man who didn’t get the part.  “Snoopy sucks.”  

Note: Whenever I hear that a place is about to be torn down I think of the Edgar Lee Masters poem.  (He was wrong.  They didn’t tear it down.) These are the first lines:

Anita! Soon this Chelsea Hotel Will vanish before the city’s merchant greed,

Wreckers will wreck it, and in its stead

More lofty walls will swell

______________________________

Saturday, January 22, 2022

Watching the ball game. The Divisions playoffs...the Cincinnati Bengals are play the Tennessee Titans (anyone else remember when, newly arrived from Houston, they were, for a time, named the Oilers?).  I get a picture...but the commentary (not for the first time with sporting events) the commentary is in Spanish.  I proceed to do stupid things.  Trying to adjust this I go to Settings on the remote and manage to cause myself a lot of trouble...lose the picture... Later, after much concerted futzing, I give up and phone Spectrum.  They say they will send someone out.  Oh no, I am thinking...they mean next week sometime.  But I’m told someone will come in the morning.  In the meantime, no TV.  I give it a rest.  I can follow the score on my little android (phone)....The Bengals (an upset) defeat the Titans.  But...great game.  Second game: The 49ers play the (much favored) Packers, in Green Bay.  Surprise...another upset...Aaron Rodgers not happy...(will we see him again?).  Despite the damage I’ve done the DVD works...

to be continued

[etsapparelinfo]

Gloves Mittens that zip on

Biking as critical transport in a rustic with no dedication to it requires plenty of guts and plenty of nice gear. Through the years, I've gone by means of some huge cash and strife discovering that gear. Right here I profile solely the very best gear that has labored for me.

For wind and rain safety, I am going to focus on the highest down, then focus on the extremities. I am going to skip the top since I do not use greater than a helmet. In icy circumstances, I can see getting a canopy for the helmet however I did not want one whereas biking to work in snow on the 2010 Winter Olympic Video games in Whistler. I am going to additionally skip eyewear since I have never discovered any good technique to hold these clear within the rain apart from merely wiping every so often. Gloves Mittens that zip on

Torso: Jackets

For the torso, there are some nice choices. Nevertheless, it took some time to search out them. For years, skiers and hikers have had Gore-Tex: a fabric that will not let moisture in however will let moisture out. The good worth in that is to handle perspiration and rain on the identical time.

Having completed all three actions (biking, climbing, and snowboarding), I can safely say skiers and hikers by no means sweat as a lot as a bike owner. If breathability have been wanted anyplace, it's wanted in biking. On condition that, it's stunning how little or no breathable materials I've present in biking outerwear. As an alternative, I discover a lot of plain previous nylon jackets and pants with slightly little bit of elastic on the ends. The plain nylon outerwear tends to be a giant sweat manufacturing unit. Consequently, I keep away from it just like the plague with one exception.

Adjustable Jackets

The nylon jackets with detachable sleeves work fairly nicely. Clearly, having no sleeves is a good way to provide breathability. It clearly leaves you much less protected which issues drastically in actually chilly circumstances however I am going to get to an answer for that later. In most circumstances, a jacket with adjustable sleeves has met most of my wants for rain and wind safety.

Learn More

Amongst the detachable sleeve jackets, the very best I've seen is the Cannondale Morphis Shell. This jacket is head and shoulders above all the opposite detachable sleeve jackets as a result of it's so straightforward to detach and connect the sleeves. It's the solely considered one of its sort that I can do that whereas using. With different jackets, you may get the sleeves off whereas using however you can be onerous pressed to get them again on in any respect, a lot much less as straightforward as you'll with the Morphis.

Why? As a result of the Morphis makes use of magnets, sure magnets, to connect the sleeves as a substitute of zippers or velcro. These magnets break free extra shortly and simply the any fastener however, extra importantly, the magnets are self-attaching. If you end up able to re-attach the sleeves, you merely slide them on and the magnets discover one another like one thing out of a Transformer film.

The jacket is solely unimaginable. This type of speedy flexibility is simply what I would like whereas using in blended to dangerous climate. All the opposite jackets with detachable sleeves make you cease and futz within the rain to get the zippers, snaps, or velcro collectively however with the Morphis I detach and connect sleeves with impunity as circumstances change. It is superior.

The one difficulty is that the magnets go away area for air to get by means of the seams which will be a difficulty on very chilly days. Nevertheless, for these days you most likely do not want adjustable sleeves in any respect.

As superb because the Morphis shell is, having no sleeves clearly supplies no shelter for the arms. Consequently, I exploit this shell for reasonably chilly and comparatively dry days, windy days, or days the place I do not know what it is gonna do.

Breathable Jackets

For the actually critical storm, a full jacket with breathable materials is the best way to go. You have to actually search within the bike retailers however it's there. Within the breathable class, the very best I've discovered is the Endura Luminite Jacket. Along with being breathable it's tremendous seen. My buddy Johan and I actually worth visibility since we're actually not into untimely loss of life.

The jacket has a wealth or reflective materials throughout it and it is available in "day-glo" yellow. It even has a blinking pink LED gentle embedded within the jacket for added visibility. I've worn this on the worst sorts of days and never been wanting for the rest. It has velcro straps to shut the sleeves and a really excessive, cinchable, collar to maintain rain off your neck. I've even worn this crusing with passable outcomes.

Legs: Pants

Flexibility and breathability are enough for the highest of your physique. Nevertheless, in biking the motion is on the underside. For this, breathability and adaptability (zippers and stuff) are important however what is good is stretchability. To maintain issues easy, I am going to sidestep all this so long as potential and simply trip in rain in bike shorts till it will get beneath 50 levels fahrenheit. Beneath that, I am going to throw on some lengthy rain pants. Fortunately as of late, now you can discover lengthy rain pants which can be each breathable and stretchable.

One of the best I've seen of such a outerwear is the Sugoi Firewall Pant. These pants breathe and stretch fantastically. In addition they have a pleasant strengthened materials contained in the ankle the place you may work together with the crank and a zipper alongside the surface of the ankle to make them straightforward to slide over your sneakers.

Operating the zipper is a two-handed operation so you may't try this whilst you trip. Nevertheless, the one time I ever wish to do that's once I overlook to zip earlier than I get on the bike which is sort of my dangerous. The zipper is hard to zip due to the rubberizing round it so it's a function not a bug.

However, what actually makes these pants stand out is the reduce. These appear and feel like common pants. They've a matte end to the material so they do not replicate gentle on a regular basis like typical rubber rain gear. They even have two aspect pockets with zippers. The reduce across the leg is simply free sufficient to appear like regular pants however simply tight sufficient to not get caught in your chain. From a distance, if it weren't for some reflective graphics, you'd assume they have been slacks of some sort.

I really put on these pants for an evening out. Throw a dressier prime over your jersey and you will get previous the "Maître d'" at most eating places. You may nonetheless be slightly humorous wanting however as of late who is not?

Given this trend function, on prime of the excellent efficiency on the necessities, these pants stand out. With these in my pack I will be out with out worrying concerning the rain, chilly, and even the opportunity of dinner plans. Within the latter case, I can rework from a motorbike geek to a comparatively regular wanting patron in a few seconds. For extra on bike trend, take a look at Various Bicycle Trend.

Extremities

Final however definitely not least are extremities. I am going to begin with the toes. Initially let me set the context. If you're using with out clip-less pedals then you may clearly put on any sort of shoe which lets you decide any sort of safety you need so the feedback on footwear beneath are moot. You possibly can skip to gloves. Likewise, biking in snow can demand gear the place among the issues outlined beneath are irrelevant. However, what follows is my expertise retaining my toes dry or, at the very least, snug whereas utilizing clip-less pedals and sneakers.

Related Links:

https://vogloves.com/

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Ft: Socks

With clip-less pedals, you might be clearly centered on pedaling efficiency which implies you might be already utilizing a shoe that's stiff and fairly nicely ventilated. This implies, that water goes to go proper into and out of the shoe continuously except you cowl it with one thing. Though, there are rain guards for biking sneakers, I've discovered the uncovered and moist situation is definitely high-quality supplied you have got the fitting socks.

I attempted the little booties that slip over the sneakers. They work nice however they aren't breathable so you may wind up with soaking wet toes from your personal perspiration. Additionally, if rain does get in there, it would not simply come out. Lastly, the booties are a little bit of a ache to get on. As a treatment, I attempted the "half-booty". These are barely simpler to get on however have been pointless within the rain and never a lot assist in the wind. That they had the inconvenience of full booty set up with none of the moisture safety. The rain merely went up and over the half-booty and into my shoe.

Consequently, I now exit with nothing particular on my sneakers however one thing particular on my toes. I put on gentle nylon socks. They get moist however they dry so shortly that they really feel fairly regular once I attain my vacation spot.

I even go away them on at work. The apparent exception not but coated is snow. If you're using in snow then all bets are off concerning perspiration. In that case, the total booties are the best way to go. I am keen on the socks like these by DeFeet. They're low cost, they give the impression of being nice in enterprise or biking sneakers, and so they dry super-quick.

Fingers: Gloves

For the fingers, I exploit two choices. If I am commuting, then eventually I will want plenty of finger dexterity to get my metro card out or cash or one thing. I have never discovered a full glove but that does that nicely however I did not too long ago discover these cool mittens with a quick-release finger flap.

The finger compartment slides off whenever you want your fingers. Very cool when fumbling on your metro go in a commuter line. The one difficulty has been that these slip a bit on my brake handles. I purchased them at a runners store so they aren't designed for biking. In any other case, these are completely cool. Some biking glove vendor must take be aware.

For a daily chilly trip, I exploit Pearl Izumi full-fingered gloves. Very good dexterity. I may even run a wise telephone contact display with them. The one bummer has been the netting within the palm tears simply throughout a crash and the gel pads fall out. Nevertheless, most gloves do not final lengthy when sliding on asphalt. Regardless, I forgive this as a result of they really feel so good the remainder of the time.

This gear is not the most affordable however I feel it's the greatest. Once more, I've wasted plenty of money and time making an attempt to stint. Ultimately, I wound up with these things and now I do not assume twice about going out on any kind of day. The gear retains me completely dry and/or snug year-round. If biking goes to change into a critical type of transport, gear like that is what it'll take.

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