#i love validation

[melzula]

don’t mind me just sobbing over seeing myself on the top blogs section

#melzula talks #on my hands and knees rn crying #we made it guys #i love validation

[cokowiii]

Love how this evolved from “lol what if Mikey vaped” to “Oh no withdrawal and trauma don’t mix” to “Mikey villain arc cause withdrawal trauma and hallucinations”

Yeahhhhh it really did evolve lol

BUT YALL LIKE IT SO THATS ALL THAT MATTERA YEH!

#mikey vape au #asks and replies #I LOVE VALIDATION

[neptoons1998]

Kinda scared of posting my miles x tiana headcannon

#i love validation #commenting makes me feel loved #neptoons1998 thoughts #☁️ #tiana x miles #miles x tiana #tiana toomes #miles morales

[cosmicwar]

“[…]Victarion Greyjoy, Arianne Martell, Areo Hotah, Jon Connington, Aeron Damphair. They will all have chapters, and the things they do and say will impact the story and the major characters[…]”

#sorry i’m still processing #i love validation #asoiaf

[madeofbees]

I was wondering if u ended up writing/posting the trans!will fic u posted abt? It sounds cool!

Oh gosh thank you so much! I haven’t because I was convinced there was no interest and nobody would read it, but clearly I was wrong! I have like. Four WIPs rn I think? But this one is at the top of the list for next time I have writer’s block and decide the best way to fix it is start something new.

The blood moon cometh 😈😈

#my writing #moon cycle #blood moon #idk what it’s called yet #but yes #I will write it #thank you anon #i love validation #hannigram fic

[thirteen-autumns]

i call this my “frumpy futch goes to the mall for the first time in 3 years” look

#personal #vans #i’m going to be 33 years old in a week #why am i still on tumblr #futch #libra #i love validation #and i miss community #wah

[mossybloodio]

I wanna start a thing where, if people feel down or sad. They can just DM me and I'll praise them relentlessly!

#yandere post #love obsession #obsessive yandere #obsession #obssesive #yandere blog #possessive love #real yandere #tw obsession #yanderecore #lovecore #positive thoughts #mental wellbeing #praise #i love validation #help lol

[godnattakatta]

omg omg - Demeter singing the "I believe it is Old Deuteronomy"

#i love validation #like she isn’t his child. but she also is #his children are her brothers #and i love the idea of deme having a bit of magic #My rambles #main

[formula-red]

my sister has informed me that my eurotrash playlist is used in her sorority house regularly. i don't know if i should be deeply honoured or profoundly ashamed

#its like my worst nightmare come true #and yet #this means that the playlist eats ? #i love validation #but i hate greek life #duality of jd #delete l8r

[doodleddaisies]

It’s my party and I get to control the music (rereading comments left on my fan fics)

#caswen fic update #I love validation #fan fic

[slfcare]

ten years ago you were so scared of such different things, but you survived them anyway. the same goes for five years ago and two years ago. everything that has ever felt like a hurdle, you’ve passed through. so be afraid, identify your fears, and then allow yourself to remember that in just a little while, this will be another thing that you have overcome.

#fear is okay! #and so are you #i have two interviews next week for a 6month grad internship </3 #free encouragement #self care #self love #positivity #positive #positive suggestions #positive thinking #suggestions #suggestion #comfort kindness family #self validation

[missbaphomet]

I write more pesis tonight???

#baph bleats #baph's bad at writing #i love validation

[sga-owns-my-soul]

reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head

#i can't reblog this from everyone so this is just me giving all my mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head #if u see this #*muah* #soft lil kissy on the head #and if u don't want one u can have a head pat #or i can lovingly send soft lovey vibes your way #all options are valid #idk i just #need to spread some love today #i'm tired and sad and stressed #so i'm giving u all some love #bc i need to fill myself with more of it #love u all hope u have/are having a good day #mutuals #not stargate

[chloesimaginationthings]

I always forget Michael is British in the FNAF games,,

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #michael afton #mike schmidt #fnaf #sister location #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #this is their first meet btw #totally canon I promise #I love you Michael Afton even if you’re British #the only valid British person

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[cassandragemini]

its so crazy that for the last 5 years a small but annoyingly vocal online group has been acting like mob movies of all things are pretentious and inaccessible cinema. yeah the godfather is kinda slow but these are movies about criminals who shoot people

#that family guy bit is right it does insist upon itself but it has a valid point to insist etc etc #crow.txt #side note if you do wanna watch a good mob flick and the godfather was a bit too slow for you please watch goodfellas #its one of my favorite films of all time i love it so much #while i do like the godfather and i recognize how important it was for film history i like goodfellas a bit more