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ceapa-mica · 15 days

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How to befriend Grand Admiral Thrawn

I AM SO BACK! And I wanna thank my friend @thrawnsboots for some ideas for this. 💙

SFW | reader is gender neutral

Taglist: @bingbongooo @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @ele-millennial-weirdo @enaelyork @jesslove23 @thrawnalani @twincesskorisoka @davesrightshoe @shoe-bag @tearyeve @blackddarling @obbicrystaleo

You want to become Thrawn's friend? Let me tell you how to gain friendship points with the Grand Admiral.

Work hard and contribute good strategies and ideas to his plans.

Be willing to take responsibility for mistakes and errors you've made.

Dare criticize him. Your co-workers would never. Thrawn is glad you're open and honest with him about your concerns.

Thrawn appreciates people he can trust and who keep their promises. Honesty and reliability matters a lot to him.

Show genuine interest in his art collection, and don't mind him explaining art for hours.

You can impress him with knowledge, specifically about art, culture and war. Even more so if he isn't familiar with the knowledge you're sharing with him.

If you want to spend time with him, be prepared for intense sparring lessons in his personal dojo.

Respect Thrawn's boundaries. Period. That goes for both, emotional and physical. If he doesn't want to talk about himself, accept it and move on, and don't be clingy.

Keep in mind that he's a busy man. So don't be disappointed if he doesn't seek you out outside of work all the time.

Learn to read his facial expressions. Thrawn's very good at hiding what he feels and thinks. Only those closest to him can read him, and when you do, he knows putting effort into your friendship is worth it.

Share your hobbies with him if you can. Cook a meal, knit him socks etc. He will appreciate your efforts.

Remember what he likes. How does he like his caf? Favorite artists? Favorite music? Favorite holonovels etc.

Gift giving is one of Thrawn's love languages (platonic & romantic), along with acts of service. He appreciates when you return the favor. Love languages are a two way street!

Let Thrawn feel included. As a Grand Admiral he has a certain reputation to maintain of course. When off-duty, he won't mind if you treat him like you're on the same eye level though. Less formality and more deep conversations.

Make sure Thrawn knows you see him as the man he is. Not only the powerful Grand Admiral but as an autistic art nerd with an extraordinary mind.

You know you've gained maximum friendship points with this man when he chuckles over one of your jokes

Be prepared to go out of your comfort zone. Thrawn will encourage you to try new things, whether it's food, art or work related.

Thrawn is hard to befriend, but once you manage to earn this man's friendship, he's a loyal soul who will stop at nothing to support you unconditionally and who brings out the best qualities of yourself.

Let me know in the comments what you think or if I missed anything. 💙

#thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #mitth'raw'nuruodo #thrawn x reader #thrawn headcanon #thrawn fanfiction #blue man hot #star wars rebels #ahsoka series #star wars #star wars fanfiction

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accidentalslayer · 9 months

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Hello there, weary traveler. 🎃

My name is Alice Hart (she/they, millennial) and you've come across my little pumpkin patch of a blog where I mostly autumn!post, reblog things I like, and share my 3 am thoughts. It's also become my bpd (& associated) vent cemetery. Look hard enough and you'll probably find where I buried the bodies. If you like my collection of aesthetics and weird shit, don't be afraid to follow me. Or send me an ask!

❌ DNI: Transphobes, racists, MAP & MAP sympathizers, sexists, ableists, radfems, homophobes, conservatives, slutshamers, Trump-supporters, fat-shamers, blank blogs, super boring porn blogs with thin conventionally pretty women that look like they could be porn stock photos, !!!ana/binge/ED/weight shaming blogs!!! Or anyone who spews hate against spirituality, witchcraft, and astrology. This includes anti-shifters!

Some random facts about me:

🕯️Am neurodivergent ADHD insomniac with intense hyperfixations that switch around every other week and BPD traits that make life insufferable at best. I'm more of a creature in the shape of a person. I'm just tired. I want to be a pumpkin and dance under moon instead of whatever this crap is.

🍁 I collect tea cups, tea pots, and tea accessories. I also have a massive collection of tea from all around the world.

🕸️ I practice witchcraft and have done oracle readings & birthchart interpretations for people since I was sixteen. I really feel intune with the stars and the moon.

🍬 I'm a system.

😈 Interests include: mythology, philosophy, psychology, travel, reading, video games, art, cooking & baking, sewing, sharing headcanons & lore with friends, and having conversations with the stars.

System Information:

[Wheels Within Wheels/The Burning Eyes System]

Body Age: 35

Collective Pronouns: It/Its

System Type/Origin: Traumagenic, formed because of a near-death experience at the age of 16.

Host & Personal Lore: Tired artist & neurospicy girl with way too many projects who gets super excited about many things. Invested in tarot cards, astrology, lucid dreaming, and spiritual exploration. Loves celebrating holidays (personal, global, and completely made-up!). Hates intense heat, eggs, poor communication styles, & season 5, 6, and 7 of Once Upon a Time. Avid traveler. Will one day be famous.

[Members of System & Information]

✨ Aestriel Iao Sabaoth ✨

Oldest & 1st member of the system. Holds the role of Protector, Gatekeeper, and Helper. Was formed as a direct response to childhood trauma. Presents as a being made of burning eyes, infinite wheels, and prismatic rainbow flame. Mostly dry, direct, emotionless. Gives amazing advice despite how much that advice hurts. Doesn't understand the messy condition of humanity. Sees the big picture. Claims to be a cosmological figure and not mortal in origin. Is very personally annoying to me, the host, who just wants to be a people. Will come out if host/my safety is threatened in some way. Or to give advice to others…although who the advice is given to and when is completely unpredictable.

🔪 The Author's Pen 🔪

Arguably as old as Aestriel; although stood in the background for quite some time until more recently. 2nd member of the system. Holds the role of Persecutor and Memory-Holder. Was formed as a direct response to hardship sustained while being homeless and emotional abuse. Presents as a being made of black ink, gnashing teeth, blood, and the sharp edge of a quill or sword. Antagonistic, manipulative, acutely socially aware, and willing to put itself before anything else. Interesting conversationalist but proceed with caution. Would rather delve into hedonism than uphold the moral stand that Aestriel or Host does. Just wants to see a reaction. Comes out more frequently than Aestriel and even upon request, although insists that upon some kind of compensation in return. Also gives advice, mostly bad. Less unpredictable, though. Claims to love humanity, is some kind of abomination formed when the first word of the first language was uttered.

Other important details: Would highly recommend that you do not talk to Pen. If it ever decides to pop out, that is. I try to keep it away from anyone else but myself.

About this blog:

🍯 Originally, this was a fandom blog for my newest obsession: The Vampire Diaries & The Originals. Somehow, it became a Halloween & Autumn!posting blog for times when I'm procrastinating on writing or bored. I use the tag #its always october in my brain.

⛈️ I'm currently working on a project called Dawn Misplaced. It's an Originals fanfiction featuring a Darling!Reader who's a vampire slayer. I post my chapters on here underneath the tag #dawn misplaced or #accidental writes. My A03 is here. If you have an interesting TVD or Originals imagine, I might consider writing it. Shoot me your idea into my asks! Yandere content, consider before engaging.

⚠️ UPDATE: This project and yandere content has been put on indefinite pause until I can find the inspiration to write about it/find a streaming service that has The Originals. 💀 Netflix axed it so I can't watch it anymore. I am very sad. ⚠️ UPDATE [11/23/2023]: This blog has begun to stray away from yandere fanfiction and onto being just my main blog where I shitpost at 3 am, share autumncore aesthetics, and hope to begin sharing my personal art. Also I expect there to be venting mixed in too. I should probably make a tag for that, shouldn't I?? I've also made a new blog for shifting, astral projection, and dream interpretation. ⚠️ UPDATE [12/31/2023]: I've decided that I'm going to put my shifting/astral projection blog on here. I've already started working on my Masterpost but have yet to think of an appropriate tag for it. It'll probably come next year. I'm so excited for 2024!!

🪦 Sometimes, I share my personal thoughts here. I'm sure I'm going to get more obnoxious about that the longer I have this blog running.

💀 If you like or reblog any of my posts, there's a chance that I'll look at your profile and follow you randomly. Feel free to block & softblock me if I'm not your vibe, I won't mind. Also, if you're a porn blog or one of those blogs without a title/literally nothing posted on it, I'm going to block you outright. Unless you have really artful porn on your blog.

My taglist:

#🔪 slayer says 🔪

My normal unhinged chatter about anything and everything that goes through my brain. Some might be a little vent-y and include tw warnings.

# 🎃 accidental asks 🎃

My responses to any questions & asks thrown at me.

#🩸 accidental art 🩸

My personal art dump where all my doodles go.

#its always october in my brain

Where all my Autumnposting and Halloween stuff goes.

#so relatable it's causing me 5+ psychic damage for every moment I stare at it

Things that are painfully relevant to me.

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cringelordofchaos · 5 months

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HELLO, DEAR MUTUALS (please read if you're a mutual of mine)

I have decided that these days I am not going to be on the Internet as much for several reasons:

My mental health; being online so much really isn't helpful and it stresses me out and it makes me feel like I'm not doing anything worthwhile. my general digital screentime is extremely high. also, I just feel much better off the internet no matter how addicting the internet really is, I just feel better in the real world and I feel much better going outside. I just feel much happier of the 'net, much more alive

My school life ; my grades are absolutely. horrendous. And if I don't want to repeat the whole school year, I'll have to study, even though I need additional help and support (which I am a bit ashamed of personally). In order to focus on my grades I won't be on the internet as much so I can study more and relearn almost a whole decade of school (don't ask, it's complicated)

Pursuing new interests; this sort of ties into the mental health aspect of it all, but I want to pursue more "productive" or more creative interests, and to do so I would have to spend less time on the internet. I want to play the flute more, I want to draw more, I want to learn more, I want to animate, I want to sing, act, crochet, craft, etc; the internet and digital life distracts me from my goals as to who I wanna be and how I want to spend my time

To get more friends; I love my mutuals, and I consider them all great friends!!! genuinely, interacting with you all makes me so happy. But I think having more non-online friends might do me some good.

To reconnect with my language a bit more; this one isn't as serious but as a person who's first language isn't English, at times I feel deeply ashamed of the fact that I speak the English language better than my own language. The reason as to why that is because I spend more time communicating with online people (with the English language) rather than speaking with people in my country. This one like I said isn't as serious but I just want to be more familiar with my own language than the English language hope you don't mind!!!

My physical health; I don't think this one needs much explaining?

To simply rediscover a better purpose in my life

To not disappoint the people around me - this isn't my primary reason for doing any of this but it feels so fucking awful whenever millennials and older people talk shit about the newer generations and how they have no life outside of their digital life, with little regard to the newer generations own emotions or well being. I feel like I'm disappointing my grandma, my father and the random people on the internet and myself. Again I have much better reasons to stop using the internet as much but this is one of the many reasons I have

Now, this might change? Idk, I might come back this weekend and start binge using the internet again and go down the awful internet rabbithole again. I will still go online sometimes!! Just most definitely not as much

I hope you understand!! I love you all have a great day!!!

#freakblr #rosyblr #<- since thats where modt of my mutuals reside #important #to do list

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ncisfranchise-source · 14 days

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As the NCIS franchise cemented its place in the television hall of fame with 1000 episodes, Vanessa Lachey also made history as its first female lead.

The actress, who currently leads the NCIS: Hawai'i series as Jane Tennant, exclusively tells PEOPLE about what it's meant to be a part of the millennial milestone as a groundbreaking addition to the crime-fighting family. Her character has been taking charge since the show debuted in September 2021.

"It’s an honor to be able to add to this incredible franchise and to do it as the first female lead has meant more to me than I can ever express," she reflects. "It shows the incredible evolution and longevity that NCIS continues to give its fans."

Lachey says getting to have a "family" both "across the generations as well as continents" is what she loves most about being a part of the NCIS universe.

"Not only with our cast but the fans as well," she adds. "The NCIS franchise is all over the world and it brings people together to watch and talk about, as well as provide comfort and entertainment, which is what you want when you dive into a show."

Shortly after landing the role, she and her husband Nick Lachey relocated to the Aloha State — where the show films on location — along with their three kids: Camden John, Brooklyn Elisabeth and Phoenix Robert.

In September 2021, Lachey revealed her husband had the "most supportive thing he could have said" when she broke the news of her casting.

"I just gave him the biggest hug," she recalled. "He said, 'This is your time. And I will do whatever I need to do to support you in that. I've seen you work so hard. This is your time. Let's go.' And I'm like, thank you!"

On Monday, April 15, NCIS will be celebrating its 1,000th episode, followed by NCIS: Hawai'i airing the franchise's 1,001st episode.

In March, Lachey told PEOPLE that the season 3 episode won't just serve as a reminder of how far the franchise has come and to "kick off the next 1,000" — it'll also be a way for her to reflect on her own past.

Calling the episode a "full-circle moment," she explained, "It dips into my mother who abandoned me. It is a very emotional episode, it is a very deep episode."

"It's actually Daniela Ruah, the actress on NCIS: LA, directed it. " lot of stuff happens, and I'm nervous. I'm always going to be nervous," she said, confessing that she feels nerves because she's taken on more light-hearted roles in her career.

"I came from hosting and comedy acting, and this show has allowed me to really dive into some depth," she said of NCIS: Hawai'i. "And this episode, specifically with Dani directing, I think has got some really great stuff that I hope the fans love and take to."

#ncis hawaii

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millenialfanfictionaddiction · 2 years

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🦉Being Fukurodani's Manager 🦉

The Gen Z Manager Edition

Fukurodani x GN reader

Warnings: me trying horribly to make Gen Z references 😅

AN: This is an Anon Request! They also requested addition things to be added so I'll link that here!

🌠 Please Like, Reblog and/or Share to help support my writing 🌠

God I hope I don't sound like a mom desperately trying to be cool 🤣

While I am not Gen Z, as a Millennial, I feel like I use quite alot of Gen Z phrases

I also use alot of emojis which might not be cool but is effective for portraying emotions

And okkkk I need to stop ✋️

Bokuto and may of the HQ boys are late Millennials/early Gen Z

The cusp bbys if you will 🥰

Honestly, love that for them!

And honestly, many if their actions show the early signs of Gen Z revolutions

I mean "Hey hey hey" is basically a revolution on its own 💅🏼

But pls no one tell Bokuto he's a trend setter

Poor Akaashi already works so hard

N E WAYS let's get to it!

Are you a trendsetter? Nah

But are you the main character 👀 abso-freaking-lutely!

You're loud, eccentric personality attracts many far and wide!

Your friend group ranges from the jocks to the nerds and everywhere in between

You are what the boomers would call "a socialite" 🤗

Don't mind me, just out educating the youths

You are prevalent on social media's, tik tok and everything in between

Yes I'm aware tik tok wasn't around then but vine was 😏

And vine ran so tik tok could walk 💅🏼

You had a large following from your Instagram to your Tumblr

You write fanfics 😶 sorry I don't make the rules

That's initially what attracted Fukurodani to you

Or shall I say, Bokuto and then Akaashi

Because you see, Bokuto LOVES attention and he would definitely have a social media presence

Meanwhile, Akaashi is just vibing in the background happy to be avoiding emo modes

But unfortunately, Bokuto struggles to get the dances for some of his tik toks down

Enter YN, our resident Gen Z royalty

"Hey Bokuto, why so down?"- You, walking up to a completely deflated owl

"Hi YN, *sigh* I just can't get this dance down"- Bokuto, now slumped on the floor

"Can I help you? Maybe if we do it together?"- you, ecstatic to be making any content

"Really YN!! That would be so cool"- Bokuto

You and Bokuto absolutely slay the tik tok dance and let's just say, Bokuto is absolutely enamored by you

Immediately asks you to be the teams manager ✋️

Like this man doesn't know if they need a third manager but he's willing to risk it

"Alright bet"- you

At practice, Bokuto basically holds you out to the team and is like

"This is our next manager YN"

Nobody agreed to this, it's just happening

"Bokuto we already have two managers"- Akaashi, the logical one

"But YN is so cool"- Bokuto

"Yeah Akaashi, we totally vibe with each other"- You pleading your case

Please seeing Bokuto so happy gives this man hope

They agree to a week trial period and off you go

To prove your worth to Fukurodani

However you don't even need a week 🤚🏻 because by the end of practice Akaashi is already sold

Bokuto is struggling with his cross court shoots

He's missing and/or overshooting each one

Akaashi looks to YN

"Say less"- YN approaching Bokuto

"Bokuto, you are one of the best aces in the entire country! I know you can do this"- You

"Really 🥺"- Bokuto the deflated owl boi

"No cap 🤚🏻 now try it again"- you smiling and walking away

It's like you awoke something from the dead

Bokuto hits a wicked cross court shot that nearly breaks a window

Konoha and Saku think you are the coolest

The immediately ask for your number and you form a group chat

At practice, you start insisting they play music to help them focus

"This song slaps am I right?"- you

Bokuto is just nodding in agreement YN

Please he would lay down in a puddle of mud for you YN 🤚🏻

Akaashi pretty much makes you Bokutos guardian

Seriously he has you sign a paper that says you will take responsibility for him 😅

I wish I was kidding 😃

When Bokuto acts up you will literally be "Bitch I'm your mother, NO DRAMA" 🙅‍♀️

Konoha plays the Reba song for you daily

🎶A single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops🎶

But besides being super motivational, you help the team with their marketing

You recruit them to make tik toks from dances to recreating iconic vines

Please Konoha and Bokuto are so into this

Even Akaashi gets into it 😫

Konoha walks by and says "And they were roommates..."

You 👉🏻 Mah God they were roommates 😲

Bokuto is way into tick tok dances

You guys work so hard to master The Jerk

One day you had to leave practice early so you handed Bokuto off to Akaashi-

"I brought you frankincense"- you handing Akaashi his water bottle

"Thank you"- Akaashi

"And I brought you mur-" handing him Bokuto's water bottle

"...Thank you"- Akaashi so confused 🤨

"murDER" you pushing Bokuto at Akaashi as you run away laughing

Please I can hear the groan coming from Akaashi

When it's time for summer training, you all pile into the bus and head to Nekoma

You hit road work and can't resist

"Road work ahead? I sure hope it does" 😅

Please everyone dies 😭

Bokuto is so confused and now concerned that the road doesn't work

At Nekoma, you bond with the other managers by doing learning tik tok dances and simply making fun of our boys

"Hey YN how's camp going?"- Kuroo

"Hey thanks for checking in! I'm still a piece of 🎆garbage🎆"- you

Please Kuroo is in love with you

Kenma might be a cusp but he totally is all over vine 🤚🏻

Everyday you will walk into the gym and say "Hi my name is YN and I have a volleyball game tomorrow!"

"You mean today YN"- Akaashi

"Ok boomer"- you 🙄🙄🙄

"I'm a Millennial YN"- Akaashi 😐

When you train with the third gym squad, Bokuto is so exited

"Hey hey hey YN! Are you ready to train with me?"- Bokuto

"With us-" Kuroo

Bokuto deflates

"Kuroo that wasn't very cash money of you"- you walking over to Bokuto to give him a hug

"Do you need some lovin my favorite Ace?"- You, because consent is important 🥰

"Yes 🥺"- Bokuto, arms wide open

When Hinata and Lev show up to practice you say

"Hi welcome to Chili's"

"Oh im sorry we were looking for a gym to practice"- Hinata

You 👉🏻😐

Akaashi 👉🏻😏 because you finally realize his pain

When Hinata is fangirling over Bokuto, Akaashi will actually surprise you

"Hinata stop simping over Bokuto"- Akaashi

You 👉🏻🖐🏻👁⭕️👁🖐🏻 channeling Tendou

Tendou, another iconic Gen Z king 🤴

"Akaashi, you really aren't as cheugy as I thought you were"- you 🥺

Akaashi 👉🏻 🤨 doesn't cheugy mean uncool?

"Fiznsufhejusbdhs AKAASHI YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST"- You 🤗

"I'm older than you YN"- Akaashi 😐

"We love a glow up king"- Kuroo

You are literally freaking out 😭

"I'm a kuroo stan for life"- You

"Hey what about a Bokuto stan?"- Bokuto, of course needing attention

"Bokuto you will always be a snack"- you 🤚🏻

"I like snacks"- Lev

"Lev you are sending me"- you

"Sending you where YN?"- Hinata

"Yn please dont go anywhere!"- Bokuto now crying

"Big Yikes"- Akaashi

"Bokuto im finna throw this ball at your head if you don't stop"- You

"I was hoping this practice would be productive but man this ain't it"- Kuroo

No cap detected their Kuroo 😭

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lucysweatslove · 10 months

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TW/Content warning re: domestic violence, IPV, questioning. May be v. triggering for victims/survivors of DV and IPV especially those who were not believed. (btw it is NOT about me directly; I am in a loving and generally healthy relationship and I have never personally experienced DV (as a side-side note, one of my best friends has, we helped her get out))

So. My sister is visiting my parents atm. My mom's family reunion thing is going on rn and my sis drove up to attend. (I have just barely started to feel like Me again after Rural Site Adventure, hence opting out).

Background, p 1: my family has a fam friend we'll call N. N was a past student of my mom's, I think potentially a past client but I can't fully remember the story there. She is "in between" my parents' age and mine/my sister's- I'm not sure if she's technically a young Gen X or an older Millennial, but just to give some context regarding age. My family gave her a lot of support when she was getting her life set up, including financial support in the form of interest-free loans. When my little sis was tiny (she is very much Gen Z, still in high school), N lived with us and would help out a ton around the house, with child care, even doing things like chaperoning my dates when I was in high school. There was a bit of a blow-up idk how long ago where my mom felt like N was mothering my little sis too much and boundaries were getting mixed up, and then idk when but then they made up. I've been mostly out of the house for 12 years and totally living away from them for like 9 years, so I don't remember a lot of the specifics.

Background, p 2: My parents' relationship is not great. The gist is: a lot of infidelity from dad and my mom has a lot of emotional lability for as long as I can remember. She can get pretty mean and is prone to a lot of emotional manipulation and tactics like gaslighting, goalpost-moving, triangulation with me + my older sis, guilt-tripping, diminishing others' experiences... i mean we all do these things from time to time, but she does them very often and only on the VERY rare occasion does she take responsibility (I am not saying my dad's infidelity was caused by my mom's emotional lability or that it set off the emotional lability, and I'm not excusing anybody's behaviors; I think all of this is super multi-factorial). Early on when I was in college, before I really knew much, my dad sat us all down (with my mom, after talking with her) and confessed to his infidelity + said he was considering divorcing mom to be with the woman he was cheating with. I laid into him basically saying that running away from all of us wouldn't solve whatever lead to his cheating and make him happy. He already is once divorced (idk why/what happened with his prior marriage, he hadn't yet met my mom even so that wasn't it). I told him maybe he needs to figure out what HE needs to change rather than flitting around from person to person hoping it'll work out. He decided to stay, they went to therapy, there have been no signs of further incidence (not that it's impossible, but my mom also monitors everything his does including his whereabouts via his phone 24/7). Though my mom will say she's forgiven him, she doesn't act like it- and I get trust has been broken, but it extends further to like, financial control, eg, refusing to let my dad who is actually considered elderly now retire, won't let him buy a new speaker system while my mom takes multiple long international trips. And my parents are well-off. They have the money for all of that.

Okay now the issue.

Apparently N was talking with my sister and mentioned something about Mom and domestic violence. My sis asked if I've ever heard any of their issues phrased like that- and no, never. That alone doesn't mean much - although my mom has called BOTH of us in tearful crisis-mode before and has shared more than I think is appropriate, DV is like the one thing many victims/survivors hide and never actually speak up about.

But... my mom is not shy with her body around any of us. Not a nudist, but has no issue changing while talking with us, going to the bathroom with doors open. She has never "hidden" her body in any way at home. She will hide sometimes (choosing baggier clothing, longer sleeves or lengths) when she is out in public, but I think this is partly Mormon modesty and partly body image issues, as again, she has never taken any precautions to hide her body around us kids. In all my memorable life, I have never not once seen unexplained injuries on my mom. I have seen a few small bruises on legs or arms and not known exactly where they have come- but honestly, I would see them after she was doing manual type labor like moving wood, working outside, reorganizing the pantry, moving heavy furniture... and never bruises in a weird pattern or suspicious location, never multiple bruises in different stages of healing.

I also don't sleep well and often don't have a good 24 hr sleep cycle. I don't think I'm non-24, but my sleep/wake cycles are highly variable. My little sister would have night terrors, too, and wake up from them not remembering but also needing help settling back to bed (she would come and get me or ask to sleep in my room frequently). Since I was the only other person upstairs, I stayed up to listen for her terrors so I could be there when she woke up and she wouldn't have to toddle around to find support. This means that during middle school and all throughout high school, I very rarely slept throughout the night. This also means I heard many many many fights between my parents. I have also quietly tiptoed down the stairs to see what tf was going on more times than I can count. I have never seen any signs of physical aggression from my father in these arguments. Definitely both sides are v guilty of emotional and verbal abuse, which is still abuse and is still a problem. I'm just saying I have never seen outward aggression (hitting, punching, kicking, flailing, throwing anything at all, breaking anything, etc) nor have I seen posturing or yelling. More times than not, if somebody even raised their voice, it was my mom.

When I was a child and spanking was still a think "experts" recommended (apparently), my mom would tell my dad to spank me for a punishment, and my dad couldn't do it and would pretend- he would whisper to me that he was going to put his hand palm-up and smack his own hand so it "looked" real if my mom was watching, and I was to scream and cry so it sounded real.

My dad was a vet before he was a psychiatrist. He left vet medicine in part because he was so sad every time he had to put down an animal, or see animals being mistreated. We had many animals growing up from dogs to hamsters and rats and guinea pigs to horses and bird and fish and cats. 0 signs of aggression with them- the worst thing is when he's really mad because a dog went potty in the house he'd get kinda gruff and grumble and swear.

This does not mean that my dad cannot ever be aggressive, or has not ever been aggressive. This does not mean that when I'm not around he acts the same way. I'm not saying it is impossible, or that my mom is definitely lying or "lying by omission" and hinting that the verbal abuse has extended to physical abuse too. I'm not saying things haven't been hidden from me.

I'm just saying... in my nearly 3 decades of life, I have not once seen my dad be truly aggressive. Even while drunk- he's not aggressive, he gets giggly and silly and then tired and falls asleep. My sisters (both of them) have not seen anything, any signs. Even looking back retroactively- nothing that we can say "omg maybe that was a sign we missed." In the patterns I've seen, including where my parents don't know I'm witnessing it, my dad is a huge pushover and my mom will show more signs of anger and aggression. I am getting weird vibes from all of this, and I'm legitimately concerned about why my mom is saying / insinuating these things.

Edit bc I forgot a part that I wanted to share but got too distracted.

My mom also has had some health stuff. She has MGUS which is kinda like a blood pre-cancer, specifically for her it’s like pre-multiple myeloma, but progression is slow and prognosis is overall good. But, this was discovered during workup for pernicious anemia. There’s no real known time frame for how long she had pernicious anemia. B12 deficiency (a main cause of pernicious anemia) can lead to a host of psych stuff including cognitive slowing, confusion, changes in memory, depression, and sometimes even delirium or acute psychosis. She did do B12 shots but it’s been a while since she’s done them, I think. But during that time, her memories were WEIRD. Like she would mix up things between us kids frequently, invent random and totally benign memories (she was convinced I not only ran track in 4th/ 5th grade but was really good at it, when reality was I tried to get out of running in PE because it hurt my throat/burned to breathe while running).

When she was a child, there was also possibly some DV in the home? It’s kind of unclear what exactly happened, but it’s a real possibility. My granny had some form of psychosis at one point- again not sure exactly because this was a long time ago (my mom’s a boomer) but I was told had a gyn condition that would cause her hallucinate/send her into an acute psychotic state, and once she had a hysterectomy, she was better. There was speculation it was ovarian cysts (per my mother; also, not PCOS) but never a confirmation. I have had a burst ovarian cyst that sent me to the hospital and I thought I was dying from the pain, but no psychosis. Anyway. My sis and I wonder if she had a teratoma and had autoimmune encephalopathy.

The point tho, my granny would hallucinate something like dishes in the sink and tell my mom to do them, but there wouldn’t be any dishes to do. So then granny would think she was blatantly disobedient, and punishment back then sometimes was corporal. I don’t have details from my mom, so I don’t know what happened, but we now know that any corporal punishment is detrimental and essentially DV, so regardless of how far it went, it’s problematic.

So, what I’m getting at: my mom has historically had B12 deficiency bad enough to have serious pernicious anemia, and my sis and I noticed a major cognitive shift around that time. She would mix up memories all the time. Since she’s had it before, she could develop it again. And that could lead to increased irritability, cognitive change, MEMORY issues. And she likely has very real DV memories.

Me, wanting to see best in everybody bc I’m just the perfect picture of an optimist (sarcasm), wonders: what if my mom currently has pernicious anemia and B12 deficiency again to the point her memory and cognition are all kinds of messed up, and she’s confusing her real memories from her childhood with my dad? Especially if the same feelings (eg powerlessness) came up.

#cw domestic abuse #cw domestic violence #cw dv #cw ipv

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lovecolibri · 24 days

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Final thought before I disappear into my d20 brainrot.

My knee-jerk reaction is "wow this sure looks a lot like an "I'm allowed to have other friends but you're not" type deal" and I'm not feeling that. Plus, Buck being "uuugh Eddie is cockblocking me!" only works if we've established that Buck knows he's in love with Eddie but doesn't think he has a chance so that angle's not working for me either. However, this is just a little clip, and it might make me laugh in the episode and it might be fine and it might be tolerable to watch. I'm reserving the right to land on either side of the fence. But after so many seasons of watching Buck and Eddie build a whole life and raise a whole child together, forgive me for being a bit 🙄 that Buck could (we still don't know how exactly it's playing out, hence why I'm waiting on full judgment) have an "oh I like men" moment and NOT tie it back into his feelings for Eddie but for some dude he barely knows. Again, it could be fine! Tommy could be the vehicle that leads to Buck opening those pretty eyes of his to see what was in front of his face this whole time. But until I see how they decide to play it all out, I'm just....reserving thoughts and feelings I guess. Because it could play out really well, but there are a lot of potential pit-falls, so we'll see I guess? ANYWAY. Cheers everyone, enjoy the speculation, imma go watch my emotional support millennials be ridiculous and try to shut my brain up for a few hours.

#911 #buddie #sorry not sorry for not wanting yet another 'lets see if THIS one sticks' romance plot #it might work out fine so i'm not totally off-board but i'm not gonna be cheering the relationship on hoping it works out #buddie set a bar for buck and eddie that no other relationship is going to clear #so sorry for not wanting to settle for something lesser 🤷🏻‍♀️#i have other thoughts but they are not coherent and i can't untangle them yet #something something trope about using other people in order to be 'ready' for the one you actually want my behated something #something something it cheapens the love story if they're perfectly happy/easily getting w/someone else without a second thought something

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space-prophet · 1 year

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Hey since PJO was apparently one of the most talked about book series this year I wanted to make like a really simple post about an issue I've had with the series since I was a kid. Spoiler warning for up to the Trails of Apollo I think.

Rick Riordan sees very little power in any form of femininity and its pretty obvious. All of his female leads/supporting cast that are GOOD activly reject it and any girl who shows that side of themselves is activly demonized- ei Piper is the best in Aphrodite cabin bc somehow the goddess of love almost only gave birth to vindictive bitchy airheads who break hearts on purpose. Selena, the most feminine "good" character let's her emotions get the best of her and it kills both herself and the man she loves. Biancas sentimentality gets her killed. Zoe is kicked away from her family, Calypso and Echo are tragically abandoned time and time again, and characters like Gaia Circe and Medea are all feminine villians who seem to have no real personality aside from traits of either motherhood or suduction. Even Hera in the confines of the story is demonized worse then Zues and motherhood in general isn't something most of the characters can do even half competently. Annabeths step mom, Hazels mom, and the Grace's mom come to mind immediately. Leo, Frank, and Percy's moms are the only non-demonized motherly figures and they all sacrificed everything about themselves for thier children (this will come up later).

Femininity in the riordanverse is equated to helplessness, ficklness, and vanity when in reality thats...well that's just misogyny, baby. We're either lead to look at the feminine women in the story with contempt or pity.

We are never asked to sympathize with Hera, Demeter, Amphitrite, Aphrodite, Kihone, Gaia, or any of the other women on Olympus in the same way we are narrativly forced to pity Apollo Hermes or Posideon through the storys language and structure. The only goddesses we are not actively in contempt with seem to be Athena (who is a well written flawed character in her own right) and Artimes who just serves as a basic girl boss no boys allowed figure.

And once a girl is no longer needed for a storyline they get shafted HARD and either die or go solo in a "I need no man" form of feminism. Once Thalia is done threatening Percy's manhood and role in the prophecy she runs off with the hunters as to not get in the way, Rachel is turned into the oracle who can't date anyone so Percy doesn't have to make a decision, Reyna (my poor girl) also becomes a hunter for some fucking reason (I could go on about this but I wont), and Zoe, Hazel, Bianca, and Selena all die horribly as the cost of thier own mistakes- theres an implicit theme of female sacrifice for the greater good (most often the good of a male character) that's present here. Bianca dies for Nico, Hazel for Sammy, and Selena for the memory of Charles.

Of course there are really well written girls in PJO, but there is an overarching problem with the way "Strongly Written Female Character" alwsys seems to equate to "I'm not like other girls, so im strong" and the way that girls are activly written in a way that leaves them supporting and caring the burdens of their male costars. It's not entirely Rick's fault of course he's an old man I don't expect him to write 12 year old millennial girls with skill, but it is something that gets me about his work and has since I was that age myself. Sorry if this wasn't as coherent as I wanted it to be, It's late and I'm not going to proofread this bc it's PJOblr.

TERFS DNI 💖

#personal #pjo #idk man its just icksvill #catch me getting a martyr complex at like 10 because all my favorite girlies die horribly <3 #and the boys die with more dignity before anyone brings that yp #*up

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brokenheartedcubscout · 10 months

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colleen ballinger as in miranda sings? Did she do something? Aren't most millennials in their thirties? I'm just trying to get context for your millennial post sorry

I'll answer the millennial thing first because it's the most lighthearted part; the millennial thing is more just a me thing where people group in all types of millennials under the branding of the mustache loving, keep calm and carry on phone lock screen having, ukulele playing, quirky, borderline racist, humor toting white person. That part of my post was more about something I saw called "the millennial curse" but it was about white YouTubers who were bad people, but not because they were millennials.

In short, you're correct, most are in their 30s! It's not the age thing so much as it's a specific type of millennial that some of us just weren't and it's annoying to be lumped in with them. Not the end of the world, just something that irks me.

Now, onto Colleen; anon I don't know how much time you have but my goodness I've never seem someone fuck up something so disastrously. I'd recommend these videos as a little bit of an introduction into what's going, but it's not something that's a never ending spiral of fuckery.

Essentially, Colleen was exposed for fostering relationships with her very, very young fanbase (talking 13 and maybe even younger) and exploiting them for things she wanted them to do as well as being just completely inappropriate in group chats. Asking them their favorite sex position, asking them if they're a virgin, talking about both her sex life with her ex-husband and current husband; just completely out of pocket, disgusting stuff.

A former fan came forward in 2020 about the relationship he had with Colleen that lasted over four years, from the ages of 13 to 17. At one point she sent him lingerie (when he was 13!!) and basically just used him as a emotional support friend while going through her first divorce. Colleen played victim, told her fanbase he was lying (though he had literal proof) and sicced her fanbase after him and let them bully him for the last three years.

This is just the very surface of everything, but essentially, she's been exposed to be a very, very shitty and manipulative person over the last three or four weeks and after staying silent for about three weeks, she finally made a response and instead of taking accountability, she brought out a UKUELE and proceeded to SING her response because her legal team said she "couldn't say anything but they didn't say she couldn't sing it" (that's literally something she says in the video)

Right now, she's getting dog-piled, as she should, for just a complete lack of self awareness and accountability. It's all just a mess.

#i know you didn't ask for an essay but sadly this is not something that can be kept short and sweet anon 😭

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lydia-too-late · 4 months

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GET TO KNOW THE AUTHOR

name: I go by some variety of "Lydia" in most online spaces, but my actual name is Michelle. Nice to meet you!

pronouns: she/her

preference of communication: Any, really. I'm fairly (read: brand) new to the RP side of Tumblr, and current-era Tumblr in general, so I'm still figuring out how business is conducted. Messages, email, discord. I'm around and happy to chatter.

name of most active muse(s): Tula, for sure. She's been the framework around which I'm learning VtM, and I love it. She's also the one who's been the slowest and most deliberately developed, and I think it's paid off well. I have another, Grace Letts, who's lingering around, having made the jump from another story concept to WoD, but she's probably a Mage (!!!), and it's gonna be a minute before I'm ready for MtA.

experience/how long (months/years?): The is the part where you realize that I'm rather old. 😂 (If the millennial emoji usage doesn't give it away first.) I first discovered RP on AOL in the late 90s. That's also where I first learned about VtM, but really just the general lore (Ventrue are business! Toreador are art sluts! Sabbat are the bad guys!). I've taken long stretches of time away, often years, but it's an itch I always return to. I usually lean more toward the writing/story side of things, but I'm down to try almost anything.

platforms you’ve used: Mostly play-by-post writing sites. Discord.

best experience: Teaming up with @silkenred! They are the creative partner I've been looking for since the day I started this journey. Working together on our story has renewed my interest in writing, roleplaying, and everything WoD. They are one of my favorite people on the planet. Fun Fact: When I met them, they were writing a series of haunted infomercials for a Twin Peaks-inspired group RP, and I thought it was the coolest thing I'd ever read. 😂

rp pet peeves / dealbreakers: Writing with partners who treat my character like their narrative sidekick. No. I'm not interested in playing plot support to your superstar. (Unless it's a really specific, well-communicated situation.) In a partnership our characters carry equal importance: I'll make yours look good, but I expect the same consideration in return.

fluff, angst, or smut: All of the above? All at once? 😳 In all seriousness: I love some angst, with fluff to keep it from being a complete slog, and smut can be delightful if done right, but it isn't essential.

plots or memes: I'm not really sure what this means exactly, in an rp context as either/or, but I'm pro-plots and pro-memes!

long or short replies: My major project right now is a co-authored story, and the replies we send each other are generally between 750-1500 words. (In the past 15 months, we've written just over 100k words together! And guys, silkenred writes GOOD words.) But I think there's a lot of fun and merit in shorter, more casual formats as well.

best time to write: Morning! Like, 7am-9am or so. It's generally a quiet time in my household, and easier to focus before the rest of the day smashes through.

are you like your muse(s): There are definitely elements of Tula, mostly emotional, that I've pulled from my own experiences, or things I've observed in those around me. Grace, the aforementioned eventual-mage, probably has life experiences that more specifically line up (thematically, at least) with my life. She's younger, though, and dresses better, and she's more likely to punch someone. She also sees ghosts.

tagged by: stolen from @gorbalsvampire (thank you!) tagging: @silkenred, along with anyone who reads this and would like to partake!

#personal #tula #silk #writing #wod

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alientitty · 1 year

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ok now i do wanna talk about that dumb tweet saying the writers' guild shouldn't strike because of viewers' "mental health." it's stupid for many reasons (what about the writers' health???) but it reminds me of spring 2020 when suddenly everyone in lockdown was like "oh artists (read: film/tv writers & actors) r so important because they hold up our mental health!" which is just a strange way to frame it. (ironically, i think then this rhetoric was being used to drum up support for the iatse strike). since when is a tv show supposed to stand in for therapy?? are people hearing themselves??? who the hell came up with this crap?

i can think of two main possible routes to this logic. the first is that as a new generation of writers & viewers matures, people think this is the first time "mental health" has come up in media. millennials are seeing portrayals of anxiety and depression (let's be honest it's never anything else) that personally resonate with them. which is all well and good but that just means that you personally like the show and think it did a good job exploring certain themes. sometimes it's therapeutic for the people involved to make emotional art too but that doesn't mean that, like, the purpose of all film and television is to reflect your self-image back to you?? i'm broaching art theory territory here but come on. first of all in this field all creative impulses are subordinate to making money but anyways i don't think people are just freaking out over ted lasso and the like.

i think the more common logic here is "i watch lots of tv/movies because my mental health is bad" -> "tv/movies holds up my mental health (see also: "comfort show")" -> "anyone who interferes with tv/movies is making my mental health worse." so ANY tv show(or movie, just assume i'm saying both from now on) someone likes is an emotional support tv show for them, which in turn means any interruption or criticism is a disruption of their therapy. so here's my stab at a counterargument: deciding to watch lots of tv instead of a different hobby like video games or knitting or getting really pretentious about prog rock--that's YOUR decision. YOU'RE the one who decides what you do in your free time (i'm saying this as someone who also chooses to watch a shit ton of tv in my free time). it's not the fault of the prog rock band that someone's decided to stake their personality on liking the album, nor is it the responsibility of the knitting book publisher to put out new patterns because someone has decided that making scarves and doilies is their new reason to live. so why the hell would this be the case for tv shows?? is current tv marketing specifically just really effective at convincing people they're dependent on it or something??

i think most people would agree it's pretty idiotic to say your personal connection to a product or work of art should be the primary factor considered when discussing fair labor conditions for thousands of people. (especially if you have NO IDEA how the industry works and go around saying the workers don't need better conditions...) it's like saying nike has to continue sweatshop labor because you love collecting shoes so much that you can't stand it if the newest cherry ice cream jordan 5674s are delayed. but that's basically what's going on, where people think their personal feelings about a tv show/movie now suddenly defines the social, artistic, and economic purpose of a medium that's been around for over a century (as in, no one said it had a primarily pyschotherapeutic function until recently, thus this cannot be an innate property of the medium), or possibly the purpose of storytelling itself (i see this point with video games a lot, which is a similar conversation). and i'm just wondering how we got here???

#newest manifestation of liberal individualism?

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