#i love and miss you so much darling i hope you're living your best life

[delulu-archives]

Love in Vinyl (Jeon Wonwoo x Reader)

If you were to create an extended play about your relationship with Wonwoo, this would be it. Your title track? To You - a perfect symphony about how a love yours feels like. You and Wonwoo found your safe place to land - each other. And like music in vinyl, every ridge and groove of your relationship makes up the perfect music.

Note: Wonwoo x producer!reader, smut, fluff, slow-burn, multiple scenarios, friends to lovers, AU, unedited Disclaimer: Dear reader, please bear in mind that this is an AU, hence there might be some scenes that may not be as cohesive as real-life, but I did try my best to match the timelines. This is a longer one-shot containing various parts inspired by different songs. Then, it would be followed with more chapters of shorter music-inspired one-shots from within your timelines. 💜 Word count: 23,229 SECOND FIC IS HERE, DARLINGS! Read Love me Lights Out here.

I love Wonwoo so much and I need an outlet for my delulu self, that I am now willing to share with you, world. :) this is the first ever fic I am posting here in Tumblr so pleease forgive all the mushy stuff. I really hope you'd like it, though. Enjoy, darlings. 💗💙

I pour my blood, sweat, tears, and delulu dusts to write this. Please help me protect my work while reaching more delulu darlings who may find escape here, too. 💜 Cross-posted in AO3 (theloveofthunder17)

You, I always need you I step still further away Only the rough wind lingers around me So, I always need you You're the only one for my breathless self Oh, even if we're facing each other, I still miss you Hey, even without saying anything You're the only one that who understands me Today I'll go to your arms too (Hey, hey, hey, hey) I'm grateful to you, who greets me whenever I open the door In a swirling day You've given me a piece of happiness You've placed all of the smiles in the world in my hands So even if I run out of breath on a steep road Even when I lose my path during a cold day We're still holding hands with warmth Nothing is easier than I thought Thinking about what should I do everyday When I think I've arrived, I'm back to the start Even when the dark is ahead of me, oh-ooh-oh Ooh, during the swirling days I can run without any fears Because of our faith that we still kept Because I'm so grateful, I'm in tears How can I repay all of this? To you, to you The story I want to express To you, to you I want to say more things like this Oh-oh, in a swirling wind If there's an eternal love Then you're that person

You weren't really prepared for your life to change when you first worked for Big Hit, a relatively small, start-up company that somehow put faith in your skills and your eagerness. You were penniless, basically living off minimum wage you earn as you pursued your course in university alongside working with BTS since their debut. You started as an intern, a researcher for such a small company you took as a steppingstone to your career. You were working with only handful of producers then, hence gaining the exposure while putting double work developed you massively. It was baptism by fire, they always told you. With of your determination and grit, you soon became a segment producer and made your way as one of the regular producers of their contents. You were present during concerts and shows, filming and drafting ideas so your skills expanded tenfold while you were growing your network, too. You were part of the massive shift in BTS' career and the agency's success. You were there as the team behind the camera grew from a few people to hundreds as years passed by.

You were one of the most trusted, most tenured producers, growing and learning with the boys and the company. You proved your innate talent as you became one of the brains behind their hit 'healing' contents such Bon Voyage and Run BTS, documentaries, and many other social networking releases that helped them reach a global scale. Those years were a whirlwind – pure chaos but utterly amazing in its own way.

BigHit continued growing as BTS continued to triumph internationally, bridging borders across the globe. The company's growth meant a lot of acquisitions and partnerships with relatively similar labels the head of the agency fostered good working relationships with, and that was when Pledis entered your world. As an independent company such as BigHit before, both companies somehow built close ties from the higher ups, knowing both were relatively smaller companies compared to the giants. It was a perfect partnership, truly. Gradually, even the respective production teams had built connection and network, driven mainly by the encouragement of the senior management.  

By early 2018, you started being more involved with both companies as part of continuous partnership initiatives. The producers often welcomed your expertise because you always offered fresh perspectives, from an angle of someone so pivotal to the successful contents and program releases of BTS for the past five years and from someone around the same age of the artists and the fanbases. You struck the perfect balance every time.

You have met some of Pledis' artists before through working with BTS, seeing them during shows, networking with Pledis producers, or casually interacting with them around the industry. With the changing dynamics however, you were eager to know more about the group on a more professional and personal manner. You spent time researching about them and getting to know them through their managers and producers, and of course the contents they had already released before. Their beginnings were much like your beloved BTS – they started from the bottom and slowly continued making their name known in the scene – SEVENTEEN. They were just nearly a 3-year-old group then, still fresh, and still discovering the many things they could bring to the table. With immense innate talent they possess, you were certain they'd be one of the most successful groups, and you were right.

"Everyone, this Y/N. She's going to be one of the producers for some of our contents and she came time to meet you all."

You found yourself in a middle of the room surrounded by the members after their debrief session for one of their Going Seventeen Spin-off shooting day. You were present during the whole shoot, watching and observing how these individuals work and just how comfortable and easy to work with they are. Your friend and mentor who happened to work with BigHit before requested your presence there, given that he's one of the long-time producers of the show. 

"You all behave," the producer teased the team, leaving you all in the room for some time to get to know each other.

"Hello everyone."

"Hello, PD-nim." The members greeted you, with Seungcheol politely asking you to sit and feel comfortable, and you did. 

They looked excited with the introduction of a new staff member and you immediately felt the positive energy everyone radiated. You immediately thought this was going to be easier than what you had initially expected.

"Hope you still have energy? I'll try and make it as quick as possible." Your whole persona exuded a different type of energy that the team found refreshing, as if your wavelength would also match theirs and instead of senior staff members they were used to working with, your youthful take on things was something they were all looking forward to. 

"We're okay, PD-nim." The leader piped in and everyone agreed. "It's still early!"

The room was filled with hums and excited murmurs so you wanted to sustain that energy. Instead of your usual laptop, you took out pens and sticky notes from your bag to distribute it to the team for a quick activity.

"I am quite unconventional so I would like to get to know you guys personally through this game and would also allow you to ask me questions so you can get to know me." You explained looking around the room as the men started to show curiosity despite it being the first time you actually got to meet them. You reckoned it was because it was something new to them.

"Y/N-noona, you know us all already?" Mingyu asked, his bright smile lighting up the mood and surprising everyone with how casual he was with you. He had been smiling at you since he saw you that day but you already warned him beforehand to not let the team know just yet. You met him several times already through Jungkook and learned just how how much of a golden retriever he is, so refreshing for a man standing 6'2".

"Hey! I've met you guys before! It's just that I was always nagging BTS behind camera."

"Ah you're the scary PD-nim!" Minghao exclaimed, earning laughter from the team.

"I suppose I am, yeah. But again, I know you guys."

"Shall we test it, PD-nim? Whether you really know us?" DK, the group's sunshine, suggested and the team all agreed. The whole thing did not feel intimidating for them at all even though you'd be working as their producer.

"It's Y/N. You can just call me Y/N. But challenge accepted! I watch a lot of your contents, you know." A soft smile crept into your lips as you recited their full-names and stage names as you pointed at them in order they are seated, even included the nicknames the fans use to refer to them or their iconic lines. A collective 'woahs' filled the room at how accurate you were. You could see their walls breaking gradually which was the goal of the meeting - to establish the familiarity and ease before even working with them.

"And last but not the least... 울고 싶지 않아 (Ulgo sipji ana/I don't want to cry)". Your sweet voice resonated around the room followed by the cheers and howls from the members, while your turned your gaze towards quietest man in the room, meeting those kind eyes behind his thick glasses. Knowing how to read the room and adjust your approach, you reckoned it would need a little more effort to make Jeon Wonwoo more comfortable and participative, especially that you were a new face. Wonwoo emitted such a kind aura with a hint of mischief, and you were certain you'd enjoy seeing him break out of his shell through the programmes you'd produce.  Your attempt at building rapport was quickly rewarded, earning a nod and a warm yet shy smile from him. It made your stomach flutter and Seokjin was the only person who managed to affect you like that before.  

"Alright, in that piece of paper I gave, I want you to write the simplest thing that excites you the most when working on contents such as Going Seventeen outside being musicians and idols, and from there, I'll guess who it might belong to. If you have questions for me, put it there, too."

You watched them intently as they endlessly bickered, teased, and gathered ideas from one another. You loved the chemistry and relationship they have almost immediately. Clapping your hands to get their attention, you gathered the papers and opened it one after the other. You read interesting and simple things they wrote such as 'fun activities', 'prize', 'food', 'mafia', 'travel', 'games and money' and the likes. The hour was filled with laughter as you answered those who asked a question and tried guessing based on this. 

"What he likes - gaming and would like to try travelling. His question for me - 'Who are you?' Wow such a straightforward one." You snorted as you read one of the papers, rolling your eyes playfully as they hollered, shouting it was Wonwoo for sure. "Is it yours?" You turned to the man whose ears were turning red as you clutched your chest feigning heartache which made the team tease him more as he admitted he wrote it.

"Alright then, who am I? Wonwoo, I am BTS' favourite producer, and I have a feeling that I will be Seventeen's most favourite producer soon enough, too."  

The members cheered, clapping their hands as Mingyu led them to chant your name, "Y/N-noona! Y/N-noona!"

"Don't tell the other PDs I said that. It's a secret."

One particular paper made you laugh, it was Hoshi's, saying that he mostly enjoys being a tiger and being a star but then followed by a question about their seniors, "How different is BTS? What can we learn from them?"

You paused and considered the question, looking at the team in the eyes, "They are not much different. Like you, they started from the bottom - working day in and day out, breaking barriers and crushing bigotry and racism. They are so much like you than you'd imagine, that's why I think you all get along well every time you work together." 

The team nodded and hummed, as if pondering what you just said. Mingyu also agreed, given that he already heard many stories about the band from Jungkook. 

"What can you learn from them? Be human because you are humans. You cry, you get angry, you get tired, you fall, you stand, you laugh, you fight, you rejoice, too. You eat, you shower, hopefully, you take care of yourself, but most importantly, you love. You love what you do, you love yourself, you love each other. It will make a difference in this wild industry you are in. You love."

There was moment shared between you and the members, a quiet one with only knowing smiles and glances around the room. It was evident that it was going to be the start of a harmonious work-life with them.

Since early 2018, you were able to foster good working relationship and friendship with the members, as part of the producers for Going Seventeen Spin-off.  From 2019 onwards, you became a regular around their studio, especially with more talks around agency mergers becoming more and more apparent from the management to senior staff levels. With your brilliant mind, you become more involved in conceptualizing contents and special episodes for Going Seventeen, earning you a title as of one of their most loved and most hated producers at all times. You later became one of the brains behind TTT, Don't Lie, Ego, and Bad Clue series which were all loved not only by the fans but also the members themselves.

Being just at the same age as Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua, it was naturally easy for them to trust and build connection with you, much like how you were with BTS. Everyone became comfortable around you quickly, with your presence offering some sort of normality among individuals who are always under the spotlight. "You're not just a producer but a great friend and 'noona'. I am really thankful." Dino, ever so precious, reminded you after a tedious working day for everyone. There were no pressure working with you even when you were running things in the background no matter how scary and serious you can become sometimes — just some of many reasons why they love you.

Since you started working with them, there were members who had grown closest to you such as the 95z, Hoshi, Dino, and Minghao but surprisingly, there was another one who grew to love your presence – Wonwoo.

Admittedly, Wonwoo was not the easiest one to get to know — he had always been reserved and observant, laughing on the side lines and supporting his team, but somehow, he felt comfortable with you. With how wild and loud the other team members can get, you understood that Wonwoo would not fight for that limelight, and while not intentional, being quiet also meant he sometimes felt as though no one was listening to him. Of course, Jeonghan and Mingyu are always there for him, but with your arrival however, he felt more understood and seen. It was rare for him to foster such close relationship with anyone that easily, but with you, it was a breeze. "As easy as breathing," he once told you.

Wonwoo would often receive teasing gaze and smirks from the team whenever you were in the studio working or even getting their ideas from them, even when you were still just doing small projects before. He always found himself beside you during breaks, talking about everything under the sun - from the games he discovered, or the latest restaurant he tried, or more interesting and controversial topics. The two of you could easily get lost in hours after hours of random conversations and even arguments which challenged both of your perceptions - his practical and rational mindset and your more creative and idealist mindset. You became comfortable enough to share stories of your childhood, hardships, or even concerns without fear of judgment despite differences. You became close enough to even know each other's families. You were always in your own little bubble, enjoying each other's company as if you had been best friends forever. You thought that was the beauty of it - the build up of your friendship was organic. 

Wonwoo was never the one to fall quickly — always sure-footed and rational even in that regard. However, he was always a little too excited whenever you were around, and you were always in his mind whenever you were not around — something he would not necessarily admit. He felt it, though, and allowed himself to bask in that new feeling.

You on the other hand was always focused on your career - the schedule was hectic alone to even pay attention to being in a relationship. In reality, you had carefully built your walls since you started working in the industry, but somehow, someway, Wonwoo managed to slowly break your guards down.

You were not certain when it started – the silly banters, the teasing, the sweet gestures, and more moments spent alone you both always looked forward to - but it happened. 

In such chaos around you, you and Wonwoo found a safe place to land – each other. 

Around July of 2019, you produced SVT Travel episodes for GoSe. New York, a perfect location for the boys to film such content. The city had everything to offer, and it was right on time as they were set to perform as one of the artists for KCon that year. They were the most anticipated artist there and you knew how enthusiastic they were about it too. Prior to the event, they were given a chance to roam around New York on their own and explore the city by group, Bon Voyage style. Every one made the most out of their travel, enjoying everything in the city from food, parks, and even the shops.

They were quite bummed you were not there for their travel vlog though it was you who made it possible to squeeze in that content and allow them to enjoy. There was a conflict in schedule, but you told them you'd try. They knew you would be preoccupied with project commitments and would not be around for a while because you were busy preparing for BTS' New Zealand trip that September for the fourth season of Bon Voyage. Everything was manic with BTS going on an extended break before their trip, and still being one of the head producers for BV, you were naturally occupied, too.

However, your heart yearned to be in New York for more reasons than you cared to admit. So while it seemed impossible, you tried finishing all the work and preparations so you can squeeze in the time to fly to NYC.

And of course, you did.

While you were not there for KCon, you found yourself walking in the streets of the concrete jungle the night before a special occasion - Wonwoo's birthday.

Nobody knew you were coming except from some staff members, Seungcheol, and by extension Jeonghan. They told you they planned something for him so you can surprise the birthday boy who had been sulking for the past few days. Birthday blues, they assumed, so they wanted it to be special for the man who would not normally demand anything.

They said they would have late dinner so they can still be up drinking until midnight, which was not uncommon at all. You already experienced their random drinking sessions before and was impressed with how they can hold their liquor, except Hoshi and Seungkwan, of course.

It was right on time with your arrival at NYC at 10:00 PM. That gave you ample time to settle down in your hotel nearby the place they were staying in. At around 11:30 PM, Jeonghan gave you a head's up that they were all together, drinking and eating, and asked you to come before midnight. You arrived by the door of their accommodation few minutes before 12:00 AM of 17 July, just enough time for the surprise.

Your loud knock broke through their laughter and Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and the others who kept up with the secret asked Wonwoo to open it, reasoning that he was the closest to the door.

"Yah! It's my birthday and you're ordering me around!"

He complained but being an angel that he naturally is, obliged. It was the most perfect timing -- the clock struck midnight as Wonwoo turned the knob and opened the door to you holding a cake with a cute little candle lit up. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened as if he could not believe you were there, wishing him a happy birthday along with the members.

"Make a wish." You gave him your gentle smile and lifted the cake towards him. Speechless, Wonwoo closed his eyes, put his hands together for a wish, and blew the candle. Everyone cheered, clapped, and hugged him - all pleased with how the man responded to the small surprise. It was loud but Wonwoo felt as though you were the only person around that moment. His eyes remained glued to you, as if trying to convince himself he was not dreaming.

In a blink, he engulfed you in his embrace, his head buried against your neck. "You're here," he breathed out as he tightened his arms around you.

You swore you could feel his shy smile against your skin.

"Happy birthday, Wonwoo." You mumbled, rubbing his back soothingly as you wrapped your arms around him with equal affection and care.

Unbeknown to the both of you, the members were already giggling and whispering how dense you both were about each other's feelings.

-

New York was even more beautiful than you imagined. You had been there before, but somehow, that summer bloomed differently - it was brighter, more colourful, and more alive. You tried convincing yourself it really was like that but you second-guessed whether it was because you were already smitten with the man you were spending the day with. Either way, you had no complaints. 

With how famous he was, you knew it would be impossible to spend the day with just the two of you alone given that they also headlined a huge concert just few days back. Wonwoo was adamant to spend the day with just the two of you, but you managed to convince him to bring the guys. They all deserved that break after all, so it was just perfect.

You all decided to spend the day at Six Flags, getting lost and enjoying the wide variety of activities offered in the amusement park. The members and some managers were around, but they gave you space per Wonwoo's request without your knowledge.

You spent the day sightseeing together, getting on various rides, enjoying meals and several desserts, and just being silly kids - with playful matching headbands, even. For someone you constantly tease as part of the iron deficiency line, Wonwoo seemed to have all the energy in the world that day.

You spent few hours together until the members called to let you know that the firework show was about to start. Hurriedly, you and Wonwoo went to the centre-ground just before the bright, colourful explosions glimmered under the dark velvet sky, capping the celebration with a perfect view.

Everyone was in awe of the grand display, as expected. 

You, on the other hand, found the man beside you more fascinating than the show glittering the sky. You watched the reflection against his glasses and his almond eyes, admiring how the colours lit up his perfect face while his lips curled in his signature small smile as he expertly took photos of the show. He looked even more breathtaking. This man was crafted so carefully you were sure the universe spent more time perfecting him.

The thud in your chest was relentless, and when you thought things couldn't get better, it did. You felt Wonwoo's hands twining with yours as he turned towards you and smiled, "Thank you for making this the best birthday ever."

You could not speak, but he knew what you wanted to say. The way your hand tightened around his and the way your eyes shone as you met his gaze were enough answers for him.

I’m ready to love Tell me, can we stay together? Can we stay together? I’m a fool of love for you My heart by your side forever, by your side forever My feelings grew after I met   you Just friends that’s  not enough for  me First time feeling my heart race Never thought it’d beat so fast All I wanna do is run away Cause you are my escape Love has no limit, I want an answer Already know, yeah That expression lost in thought My secret recipe to make you feel better The moment my eyes saw you Everything’s clear No need to say a word First time feeling my heart race Never thought it’d beat so fast All I wanna do is run away Cause you are my escape Just need you to be ready With each passing day My emotions keep growing I don’t wanna waste any more I want to run for you Run away to the other side of the world Take my hand Still I run away Trust me now To fill my heart to the top Like you're short of breath (let me) You give me purpose

The trip in NYC was nothing short of magical. It was beautiful to have been able to spend time with them, but most especially Wonwoo. You weren't sure about what was going on with the two of you just yet, and somehow it started to scare you how much deeper you were falling for him. It was an oath you swore to yourself before - to not fall in love with the people you were working with, especially the artists. It was impossible not to, you finally realised, especially with how things naturally played out with you and Wonwoo. 

Instead of focusing on that however, you occupied yourself with preparations for the fourth season of Bon Voyage and had not visited the studio for nearly two months. Aside from how busy you were, you also went to New Zealand to film with BTS hence you were also not around for the first shows they had for Ode to You tour.

Your jampacked schedule did not mean that your mind was completely rid of Wonwoo. He was able to infiltrate your thoughts and emotions throughout - sending you food and coffee in your office, calling during odd hours of day to ask how you were, or even sending random selcas with the members. You missed being with him for sure, and those silly things made you yearn for him.

One thing that stuck to you however, was when you received a call late in September, few days before your scheduled return. They were filming the 2019 Camping TTT that time and you weren't sure why your phone rang at nearly midnight. Seeing his name on the screen however, you perked up.

"Hello?"

"M-miss you so much." He slurred, followed by a hiccup. Your breath hitched.

"Hey, Won. You okay?"

"N-no."

"Why? What happened?"

"You forgot about me already." Despite the static on the line, you could hear the slight pout with the way he whined. 

"I would never." You chuckled, "wait, are you drunk?"

"Lovedrunk. Yes. With you."

"Wonwoo —"

You could not even finish your question when the line dropped.

You were dumbfounded. Would he even remember what be said once he woke up the following day? Those thoughts keep you awake that night. 

-

As scheduled, you came back after nearly two months of being MIA in the Caratland to produce the SVT Playground episode of Going Seventeen which was one of the goofiest episodes they enjoyed filming - simple and innocent, a trip down memory lane. It was a chance for them to be young again and forget the heavy weight of their stardom despite the cameras around.

For you and Wonwoo, however, it was the game changer. 

While you grew closer than ever even before, something shifted with the way Wonwoo treated you since New York and that phone call the previous week. He became a little more gentle, softer, and more thoughtful with you. On the other hand, the sweet gestures became bolder and more noticeable. The way he stared at you lingered without him trying to hide it and there was a new spark in his eyes whenever he did so. The tone of his voice when talking to you turned sweeter, flirtier, even.

That day, he became more intentional with his display of affection either by tucking your hair behind your ears or wrapping an arm around your shoulders or waist for no reasons at all. Those gestures, while not not new, developed gradually over the past months that you did not even notice them becoming more apparent. Not until New York. Not until that playground day when you felt it so deep.

Adding to your dilemma about your feelings, Jeonghan and Seungcheol were also actively watching the turn of events. They had always known about it, so as the other members who were close to the two of you, while you and Wonwoo try to mask or avoid your feelings.

"What's with you and Wonu?" The leader asked teasingly during the filming break, flashing his gummy smile and wiggling his brows. "He finally confessed?"

"Huh?" You cocked your head in confusion.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan burst out laughing, shaking their heads and looking at each other as if sharing an inside joke, and you reckoned they might be aware of that drunk call Wonwoo made. 

"Eeeeeyy, you both need to come to your senses. It's been more than a year of you trying to deny how whipped you both are for each other." Jeonghan casually remarked before they went back filming when the director called their attention. You scolded yourself. Were you really that obvious? 

As you watched the during the filming, you could not help but be drawn towards Wonwoo – his laugh, his whiny pouts, his voice, and even the way he ran to you whenever he had the chance to, pretending to get candies or drink water or seek assistance in putting on eye-drops - all these just so he can get close you.

You couldn't help but think about how since you met over a year ago, he has always been present and always ensured you felt it. Your natural chemistry was obvious to everyone around you, but somehow, you both refused to acknowledge it.

That day changed it, though. The butterflies and racing heartbeat were abiding throughout the day.

Remembering how he held your hand in New York only sealed the obvious truth you were trying to avoid for months.

It finally dawned to you that you had plummeted. Your walls completely crumbled down and you were left defenceless, all for and because of Wonwoo.

-

Majority of the team members and staff went home once you arrived in the building after the shoot, but you stayed inside your dark office, working on some of your ideas for the next content and pulling another all-nighter. You wanted to finish it, as you were going to be busy with some filming preparations in line with upcoming documentary for SVT you would be co-producing.

While you were preoccupied with your work, Wonwoo noticed your office door ajar with lights still open and he knew there could only be one reason. He bid goodbye to Joshua who was walking with him saying he'd follow in the carpark and the man nonchalantly agreed, leaving Wonwoo alone.

Wonwoo entered the studio discreetly, seeing you ever busy typing your notes, talking to yourself with eyes laser focused on the screen. He always loved watching you in your element, so fascinating how your mind works he would often say. He even bought you a wireless mechanical keyboard to help you when typing away your ideas so that it would be easier and more comfortable. That was just another excuse of course, he bought it because it matches his gaming keyboard and you once told him you love the click-clacks of it. He hoped that somehow, he'd cross your mind even when you are working. He reached his goal - you carry that keyboard and think about him everywhere you work.

He leaned against the door frame for quite some time just admiring your unwavering strength and passion before sneaking behind you like a cat that he is. Placing a hand on your shoulder, he spoke softly, "Aren't you leaving yet?"

You jumped in surprise as you felt his warm hands against you, "You scared me!" You shrieked, playfully punching him as you clenched your chest with your other hand.

"Ah! Sorry, sorry." He snickered, pulling the other chair to sit beside you and you locked your laptop hide the script you were working on for the next special episode.

"Why are you still here? Have the others left?"

"Mhm, they did. How long are you staying?" He inquired, already reaching for his phone from his pocket with his eyes never leaving yours. "I'll wait for you. I can text Shua-hyung to go ahead, he is waiting for me."

You tilted your head, puzzled, "Why? You should go, it was a long day. You have early shoot tomorrow, too."

Wonwoo just shook his head. There was that unspoken connection and understanding built between you since you met. Both of you are intuitive individuals, and you both see through things than what meets the eye, perhaps that's why you mesh well. His warm eyes searched yours as if conveying things he could not muster just yet. "I'll stay and wait. No matter how long it takes."

There was a pregnant pause, the air thinning as your heart pounded against your chest. You wanted to assume it was just about waiting for you and nothing else, but his deep voice and the sincerity behind it was too serious. "How sweet of you, Won, but Joshua's waiting and you need to rest, too." Your voice was gentle, but there was a little quiver as you tried steadying it despite how he was making you feel.

"Eh, but I want to be here with you." His perfect lips puckered into an adorable pout as he whined, eyes twinkling under the warm dimmed light of the office as they remained glued to you. "You can't convince me otherwise."

You beamed. Like a complete idiot.

Your inner lady laughed hysterically at just how insane Wonwoo drives you no matter what he does.

"Wonwoo, you need to go home. Your managers will kill me if they found out you stayed here." You insisted, pressing a hand on his forearm as if to comfort him, and he felt your warmth through the sweatshirt he was wearing. "I'll be fine, I promise."

He sighed, finally surrendering to your request. "One condition then..." he paused and turned your swivel chair so you could face him completely. You saw that glint in his eyes - a hint of teasing mischief that eventually shifted into something warm, like fuel coaxing embers to burst into flames.

"Fine. What is it?"

The tension was palpable and your voice barely came out as you tried grounding yourself when he dragged your chair closer. He did not answer you just yet, instead with an intense gaze, he started leaning towards you, nose brushing against yours as you froze in your seat. 

"This."

He hushed, and before he chickened out, pressed his soft lips against yours.

Your breathing ceased.

The world paused.

There was nothing but silence and the pounding of both your hearts.

The fireworks show in NYC was no match against the fireworks going off in your head that moment.

It was all surreal until you felt his trembling hand ever so gently cupping your face. The surge of emotions was brimming as you withdrew slowly, eyes wide at what just transpired. You blinked rapidly, trying to wake yourself up from the beautiful dream or delusion that it was.

But it wasn't a dream. Nor was it a delusion.

It was all real.

He was there, lips curled up in his signature grin while caressing your face with yearning. His raised cheeks were turning red and the ashen colour of his hair only emphasized the glow that painted his features. He was enchanting yet so real at the same time and you could never fathom how it was even possible. 

"H-hi." He stuttered followed a breathy laugh and you could not help but meet him halfway the next time he dipped his head and captured your lips in a conversation without words.

He kissed you with such tenderness and longing - the soft petals of his lips slotted between yours so delicately that it caused shivers to run throughout your whole being. He brought you closer by the back of your head, deepening the kiss, enough to allow you to taste each other.

The kiss was sweet, in all senses of that word. He tasted of sugar and mixed berries from all the candies he consumed during the filming, and you tasted exactly like the cherry-cola popsicle you had upon arrival at the office. The exchange was loving yet so fearless and innocent, like one's very first kiss, only 100x better.

"You had too many candies today," You whispered against his lips, eyes still closed as you both chuckled. You heart was burning inside and you were certain he could feel it, with how steady he seemed to be.

"I can say the same." His lips curled into smirk then chased yours for a few more pecks before finally pulling away reluctantly, looking in your eyes as you both burst out giggling like teenagers.

"Now go." You ordered, face still flushed from the exchange and Wonwoo nodded, his lips pressed together tightly to suppress the smile he couldn't wipe off his face. No matter how much he tried, however, the corners of his lips and his cheekbones did not cooperate.

When he finally found his strength, he stood towering over you and leaned in, stealing one last kiss then running towards the door giddily.

"I'll go. Good night."

"Good night." You called back, suppressing the intense emotions that threatened to spill.

Wonwoo got to the car grinning ear to ear. Joshua, ever so observant, noticed the younger man's reaction but when he asked, Wonwoo just shrugged and said it was nothing and pretended to scroll through his phone.

It was something. Definitely something huge, enough to make his heart pound against his ribcage as if he had just run a marathon.

You on the other hand, were left in the studio, still in daze and doubting your sanity. You were only able to process it once you reached home, squealing like a lovesick 15y/o in the plush kitten he gave you not long ago.

The next time you saw Wonwoo was only few days later from that night, during a particularly busy day in October two days before their scheduled Japan trip for Ode to You in which you will be present, as you were the producer of their docu-series content.

That special filming was for the first ever Don't Lie episode. They were all ecstatic and surprised throughout the entire day of filming, cameras rolling around as they tried to find the treasure and the mafia. You headed the whole production, monitoring the cameras and watching how they were losing their minds over the whole concept.  

Wonwoo should be focused on the game but could not take his eyes off you. You were the main producer that day, busy giving instructions to members seeking clarity about the rules or checking the flow of the game and filming with the directors. The way your eyes glistened as you sipped your favourite strawberries and cream frappe while running around one place to another captured his attention. He thought of how your lips would taste and how cold it would be against his, wondering whether it would be like that first time few nights ago. That was when he felt it again, the tug in his chest that seemed to always happen whenever you were together, which only intensified from that perfect kiss you shared. It was so powerful that day that he felt he could no longer waste time – he was finally ready to verbalize it, hoping that you felt the same way.

"Wonu couldn't take his eyes off you. How can he find the treasure then?" Jeonghan chuckled as you both watched Wonwoo searching every nook and cranny of the area after Jeonghan was voted out by the team. 

"Shut up, you mafia. His eyesight is poor, he could not see me from here."

You took a long sip, trying to ignore the teasing from your friend but who were you kidding? His teasing was impossible to ignore, especially when you and Wonwoo still had not talked about the kiss and just casually greeted each other when the filming started. Your mind floated back to earlier that day, when Wonwoo found yet another way to make your heart flutter like he always does.

The weather was already changing - the air was colder that day as the season transitioned, and it was common knowledge that Wonwoo could not stand the cold. Like a proper excuse, Wonwoo found himself next to you while you were walking towards the main shooting area, lacing your hands together sneakily yet so casually. You gasped and turned your head towards him, raising your brows to question what he was doing but he just gave you a sly smirk, "Why? You know my hands easily get cold and yours are the perfect heat packs."

What a silly but perfect excuse, you thought. You shook your head in disbelief, hiding the fluttering of your heart and the stupid grin that painted your face. He noticed everything, though, and he loved it, too much that he pulled you even closer to him.  

"Trust me, his eyesight is 20/20 when it comes to you. See?" Jeonghan added and proving his point, the gorgeous 6ft tall man sauntered towards you. He was so on theme that day, donning an all-black outfit from his shirt and ripped jeans matched with a leather jacket and a pair of combat boots. He looked dangerous to begin with and even more so when he nonchalantly leaned to take a sip from your drink as his almond eyes met yours in a gentle, but teasing stare-down.

"You found the treasure?" You taunted but he just smirked and shook his head, making you reach out and fix the hair from his forehead.

"Ugh, get a room you two." Jeonghan grimaced, leaving the two of you in the corner lost in you own bubble once more.

"Not yet, the mafias are good and I've searched the whole place already! Give me a hint, babe. I'll split the cash and treat you dinner." Wonwoo casually offered, with pleading eyes. He looked so handsome you could melt but more than that, you did not miss the way he said 'babe' as if it was the most natural thing to call you.

"Not a chance," you shook your head before stealing your drink away from him and sipping, pushing him to go back to his hunt as the remaining time was announced.

The shoot ended with loud laughs and betrayals from the team, the mafias won the prize but it was Wonwoo who seemed a little too happy even when he lost, grinning ear to ear when you agreed to have dinner with him.

It was not the first time you went out alone, you were mainly in the studio or the normal bar you also frequented with Bangtan whenever you guys were out for a drink, one that guaranteed privacy. This time however, Wonwoo wanted something different. He took you out for a drive towards Namsan Mountain, both of you holding Styrofoam cups of piping hot stew and some grilled pork belly you ordered, and even some soju to enjoy at the back of his crossover van. You created a makeshift camping space with picnic cloth and some pillows you borrowed from the studio as you shared your meal while looking over the amazing view from above through the open door of the van.

"You are amazing, you know that? How did you even come up with that idea?" He mumbled, looking at you in the eyes as if utterly mesmerized by you.

You let out a soft snicker as you recalled the ruckus from the day and as he laughed at the things that transpired. It was like that until you both finished your meals and the ice cream you bought from the booth nearby. You just casually talked about everything... except for the one thing you both should be talking about. "I am a producer for a reason. And I enjoy watching you all lose your minds." 

The cityscape glimmered before your eyes as cold winds brushed against your skin. The both of you leaned back against the pillows with his head resting against your shoulder. It was peaceful and quiet, and there was such comfortable silence between you as you watched the flickering of the city lights while his favourite ballads played in the background through the car's stereo. 

"You were right you, know." Wonwoo's deep voice broke through the soft melody in the background and you could feel it through you.

"About what?"

"You've become my favourite."

"Producer?" You smirked.

"No. Person." Wonwoo declared with certainty, his trembling hands reaching for yours, fiddling with your hand before slotting his fingers between the spaces of yours. "You're my favourite person."

"Won -" What he uttered and they way he held your hand truly caught you off guard and rendered you speechless.

"I have fallen for you since the moment you noticed I measure my meat and rice ratio at every bite." He paused, thumb brushing at the back of your hand as he craned his head and met your eyes. "I am not good with words, but this, I am certain of. And that kiss, I felt it, you know..."

"Felt what?"

"That I may have a chance. We may have a chance."

You were wonderstruck at his confession. Your heart was bursting at the seams as you looked at the man who held your trembling frame one summer night when you were at your breaking point, the man who always asked whether you've eaten and went above and beyond to order you food or coffee, the man who paid attention to every little shifts in your mood, the man who stayed up late with you in the studio after long days of practice so you'd have company, and the man who since you met, has been a steady presence, grounding you and being your safety net.

"I want to try, Y/N. I feel like we've been holding back for so long." He added, shifting to face you as you did the same, hand twined in his as you both searched each other's eyes. "Let's allow ourselves to be happy, unless of course I read things wrong."

Wonwoo had never felt such way with anyone else before. While of course he had been attracted to other people, it was different with you – deeper and more serious than whatever silly crush he had prior. He felt safe and secure with you. He felt seen, valued, and listened to even though he normally prefers to be in the background. He finally had someone he was excited to share his stories with outside of the members and his family. He finally had someone to be silly with and someone to tell him that it's okay if he's not the best cook. He finally found the person he'd want to learn how to cook for. He found someone who taught him how to better communicate and supported him as he continues to discover himself and find his footing. He found rest in you. He found his person, so unexpectedly. He found you and he could not let you go, never without trying, especially not now.

Your eyes glimmered with pure astonishment, "You're my favourite person, too. Ever since you asked me who was I the first time we formally met." You chuckled at the memory, watching his smile grow and seeing wheels turning in his head. Then there was silence, a meeting of eyes before his gaze trailed towards your lips and then back to your eyes. There was that unspoken understanding floating mid-air, hidden beneath your soft smiles and withheld breaths.

"But —"

The moment you broke the quiet, he cut off your words as he swiftly drew you in, lips moulding with yours in a fearless, loving kiss.

"No more buts." He muttered ever so steadily, grazing his teeth against your lower lip.

You finally let your guards down and wrapped your arms around him, seizing such perfect moment and tucking that core memory inside the corners your mind for safekeeping.

He was right, no more buts were needed.

All your fears and apprehensions vanished as you allowed yourself to savour the moment. You'd deal with worries some other time. That moment, all that mattered was the two of you.

The two of you.

Finally.

It was perfect.

You made this song who I am And here you come Three, two, one Want to give everything If I can just have you Won't let them break your heart, oh, no Without you, I'm nothing No words are enough for you Want to write it lyrical So let me read and write my emotions through you I just want to love you Alone I don't want to leave you I just want you, I need you The night is short, can't take you for granted I tell you, this time I wanna rock with you Moonlight tonight, shine on you Tonight, I wanna ride with you Wherever we go Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (Wherever we are) Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (No matter whеre we are) Evеn if the world is ending, I wanna ride with you I'm running for you Do anything for you Just you 'til my last breath No words are enough for you Want to keep it melodical So let me listen to all your emotions Fall into your eyes Every moment is pointing to you All I ever need is you Take nothing for granted, you're all I got Won't let them break your heart, oh, no Anywhere Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (Wherever we are) Baby, hold on, baby, hold on (No matter where we are) Even if the world is ending I wanna rock with you I wanna stay with you

ODE TO YOU 2019 - JAPAN LEG

Japan has got to be one of Wonwoo's favourite places ever. He can always be free there, despite their stardom and fame in the country. Their Japanese fanbase is one of their best fanbases - respectful and always mindful of boundaries.

The band has always been eager in ensuring they are able to provide the best show for their fans, and the first nights proved just how loved the boys were – the shows were a massive success, and despite how tight and busy their schedules were, they all genuinely enjoyed it.

During that month, you were involved behind the camera, producing parts of their documentary Hit the Road and capturing behind the scene footages for the DVD release of the said tour. Whenever they did not have shows, they had guestings, photoshoots, and other press conferences. It was only when November came that they got time off for themselves to breathe and relax after the last show in Yokohama and before the shows in Chiba commenced.

It was a restless month for them, so naturally, you became not only a producer, but also a friend they ran to with whenever they were restless and needed to vent. Your hotel room became haven to the members, either as a place to rest and bond over alcohol, or wailing wall. You always understood. Your presence made a huge difference to the members, but most especially to Wonwoo.

--

Wonwoo had planned his days off for a long time already, even prior his confession. He ensured you would be free from work during his time-off too. Like a practical man that he has always been, Wonwoo planned out your official date like how you would a production schedule - detailed and precise. He asked you to pack for a 3-day trip, a surprise he said, and that you would be leaving by midnight to catch your flight to Osaka. Even the the flight schedule was well thought off, ensuring your privacy was a priority. He was eager to enjoy this trip with you. It had been a month since you officially started dating but you weren't able to properly go out as a couple yet. Both of you were thrilled to have such chance and were looking forward to having an amazing time together, away from the teasing of the members.

With eager feet and sleepy eyes, you travelled to the airport, arriving right on time to catch the hour and a half flight to Osaka. You landed and settled in your hotel at around 3:00AM, with just enough time to sleep and rest before you itinerary. It was your first time to spend the night together away from your friends, but due to just how tired you both were, it was not something you immediately realised. After washing up, you went to bed and succumbed to sleep as you held each other for warmth, recharging both of your energies for your activities later that day.

The blaring alarm and the sun peeking through the curtain woke you up that morning, still buried under the duvet and hugging a pillow tight while you tried wake yourself up. As you stirred, you reached out towards your beau, missing the warmth he emitted, only to find nothing. You pried your eyes open to see the empty bed and that was when you heard the door closed and his footsteps slowly approaching. Your stomach growled in hunger as the smell of  Japanese pancakes, egg rolls, and coffee permeated the air and invaded your senses.

"Good morniiiing." He mumbled in his cute little sing-song voice and accent before he placed the tray by the bed and joined you, "Breakfast in bed."

You thought you might have been dreaming. How can someone like him be your boyfriend? You might have done something good in your past life to deserve him. You were dreamy as you looked at him, inviting him your arms for warm hug to thank him. "You're the best."

"I know," Wonwoo smirked and peppered your face with kisses as he rubbed your back. "Let's eat, we need to leave soon."

Your brow raised in curiosity, "Where are we off to?"

"It's my secret."

The man winked at you. Winked! No matter how long it has been since you first met, his gestures like that could still make you lose your shit.

-

Wonwoo took it upon himself to drive the rented car to your destination, looking ever so flawless with a hand on the steering wheel and the other on yours. You had been bugging him to tell you where you were headed but he just smirked at you, insisting it was a surprise until you saw it. Universal Studios. Wizarding World. A place you've always wanted to visit. You were gobsmacked. 

Your heart fluttered at the soft smile and gaze he gave you, "This is our first official date and I want you to remember it. You ready?" He asked ever so confidently, and you could only squeal and lean in to kiss him, and he was quick to return it.

"Let's go!" He exclaimed, both of you hopping off the car to start your adventure. You suddenly felt nervous, however, realizing he was not wearing a mask, and anyone might recognize him with that blue hair and face card on display. You were about to speak when he shook his head as if he already assumed what you were about to say, "I am not hiding. There is no need to. Let us enjoy this day, yeah?"

Encouraged by his boldness, you nodded, holding out your hand towards him, "I am sure we will."

The autumn air was crisp and cool against your skin while you soaked up the atmosphere of the park. Everything was indeed magical but it was made even better with your Wonwoo by your side.

He kept smiling at you, revelling in your squeals of excitement at everything you were seeing. He had always known just how much of a fan of the franchise you are, and seeing you enjoying this made his heart full. His efforts in making it possible were immediately rewarded by your enthusiasm.

You took photos by the entrance of the park and the Hogwarts Express, and both your competitive edge in photography were on full display. It was habit you both have whenever you were out in new places, exploring your creative sides through the lenses while being each other's supporter-slash-critic. 

After the stroll by the entrance, you visited one of the shops to buy robes and scarves of your Hogwarts houses, and the wand that you can use within the the theme park. That was a must in the park, and you definitely would not miss that to complete the experience.

The shop welcomed you with warmth and the lovely smell of parchment and fabric. You busied yourself find your robes and scarves, and assisted Wonwoo in wearing his. With the height difference, you stood on your tiptoes to wrap the blue and bronze scarf around his neck as a final touch. Sneakily, his arms encircled your waist and he pecked your lips making you blush furiously, squealing on the inside.

"Oh look it matches your hair, love." You marvelled, pushing him towards the mirror so he can look at himself. "Oh, my handsome Ravenclaw." You sighed dreamily, watching him fix his glasses and wave his wand, pretending to cast a spell.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

"It's LeviOOOsa, not LeviosAAA."

You mimicked the famous scene and both of you burst out in fits of giggles as he in turn helped you with your house scarf. He put the soft fabric around your neck, fixed your hair afterwards, and then used the scarf to playfully haul you close so he can steal another bold kiss which surprised you.

"Someone might see us!" You gasped, looking around the store to check whether there was anyone around who could see or potentially be filming you despite the both of you being in a secluded part of the store. Thankfully, it was a weekday, not a peak season, and not many people were around.

Wonwoo just chuckled, "Relax! No one's here." He leaned in once more for another sweet, lingering peck that made the lady inside you somersault.

Wonwoo did not need any spell, he alone can leave you enchanted.

You spent the day walking around the park, taking photos and videos of the sights, and trying out the rides. Wonwoo was ever so professional whenever you took his photos and in hindsight it looked as though he was just filming another content. You thought somehow that should any rumour come out, it would be best for people to assume that it was just for content, you got enough footage and photos to release something if it comes to that anyway.

However, the way Wonwoo held you close or laced your fingers or even pressed soft kisses on your forehead were giveaway that it was a personal trip. And that you weren't just a producer. You were never big on PDA, you like to hold hands or share drinks but never too comfortable to show affection whenever you were around other people, but somehow, the magical place and how surprisingly quiet the theme park was made you braver in expressing sweeter gestures. You both allowed yourself to revel in that bliss of being together in such a magical place.

You were on an all time high, heart fluttering ceaselessly as Wonwoo made your dream not only possible but also memorable. You were unsure how he made all these arrangements despite how busy you both were the past months. He just winked when you asked him saying, "I am Wonwoo, love."

Before the end of your tour, you spent time around Diagon Alley shopping for souvenirs for your friends while drinking your 3rd glass of butterbeer that day. The fizzy drink was sugary sweet that it reminded you of your first kiss. You internally laughed, remembering that moment and how shy the both of you turned after the sudden moment.

"Why?" Wonwoo asked you, as if sensing how you were feeling or thinking.

"Nothing." You shook your head and finished your beverage, your boyfriend laughing as he wiped the foam off the corners of your lips.

"Did I do well, love?"

"Hm, very well indeed."

Little did you know, Wonwoo was also thinking the same as he gazed over your every feature. His mind wandered to that first kiss inside the secrecy of your studio and how things transformed since. While you were still the same hardworking, caring producer looking after them, you became a pillar of strength for him, a home he always yearns for and goes back to. Seeing you happy and surrounded by the things you love seemed to have further developed his understanding of how utterly in love with you he is. The moment when you gushed about the famous quote, "After all this time? Always.", he made it a personal mission to make you feel his love and how grateful he is of you, always.

The streets were already dark and the show by the castle was already starting by the time you completed your shopping. All the other guests were busy running towards the show while the two of you took your time. Really letting go of his fears, Wonwoo seized the opportunity and grabbed you by your waist when you reached a darker alley in the park. Laughing, you both sneaked in towards a slightly hidden side of it until Wonwoo pinned your back against the brick wall and swiftly dipped you into an ardent kiss. You were taken aback by the suddenness of his action but kissed him back with reckless abandon, tasting the butterscotch flavour from his lips as he deepened the kiss. Soft whimpers left your lips as you clutched onto his scarf, lost in delight as his arms snaked tighter around your waist to prevent you from escaping.

You did not know how much time passed when you parted and he stared at you. He looked so sinful like that - lips red and plump from the kiss curled up in a smirk. Breathing heavily, he mumbled with his gruff voice, "Let's go back to the hotel."

Your knees buckled.

-

Surprisingly, the both of you managed to still have dinner at the hotel restaurant despite how tension filled the car ride back was. The meal helped ease both of your nerves after that sneaky make-out session you had in the park under the moonlight, but it still did not completely take away the unspoken truth - you both wanted each other.

The moment you entered your room, the air shifted. Wonwoo shoved the door close and caged you against it, lips covering yours in heaps of kisses. Before it led any further however, you paused and panted for air, "We need to wash up." A small chuckle escaped as he groaned and nodded, taking all the energy to pull away and rush towards the bathroom, leaving you breathless, in daze, and wanting.

Your head was spinning as you took a shower after he did, subconsciously spending time to ensure you were spotless and even using the best shower gel you have. You were still overwhelmed with your desire but you were also nervous - this would be your first time and there was no denying that it would finally come to that after long months of pining and waiting.

Wonwoo was no different. He was excited, nervous, and needy all at once but he wanted you for so long and could not wait any longer. Trying to calm himself down, he put on Avengers on the television while waiting for you. He needed his distractions and he hoped the superhero movie would do the trick.

About half an hour later, you finally emerged from the bathroom wearing your matching pyjamas and approached him in the couch where he was watching. You wondered how someone could look that great with bare face and glasses. So domestic. You sat beside him and he wrapped his arm around your body, holding you close to cuddle against his side. He breathed you in, your scent lulling him and waking up his desires that was sitting at bay. When you both mustered the courage to look at each other after a short while of tension filled silence, he tilted your head by your chin so he can continue what you both started earlier.

Wonwoo's kisses were searing and full of desire, his arms engulfing you closer until you found yourself straddling him as need simmered inside you. He traced open kisses against your jawline and the sweet spots of your neck, until his warm breath grazed your ear as he nibbled your earlobe.

"I want you..." He whispered seductively. His eyes were dark, pupils dilated as he stared intently at you, "...need you."

The dulcet tone of his voice had you reeling. There wasn't a need to convince you. You were already a beautiful mess, ready for his loving. 

"I am all yours." 

"Let's take this to bed, I am not about to have on a couch for our first time." He chuckled softly as you both stood, his lips still glued to yours as you stumbled towards the bedroom. 

He sat by the edge of the bed and yanked you by your arm to have you on top of him. He drew you in for endless kisses, his teeth tugged on your lower lip as his hands roamed around your body, snaking inside your shirt to feel your skin. His touch was electric, making you shiver and imagine just how good he would feel touching you where you needed him to. He bruised your lips with his, drinking you up as if you were water and he was parched.

You fumbled with the buttons of his pyjama shirt, pushing it off his broad shoulders as your hand splayed along every perfect contour of his body, memorizing him. Your eyes trailed from his perfect face, down to his broad shoulders, and his narrow waist. You were completely mesmerized by how perfectly sculpted he was, akin to a statue of Greek god, and you thanked all the universe for allowing you to experience such man. Wonwoo admired your patience and how pleased you look gazing at him, but enough was enough for him. He could not wait any longer. So while you were ever gentle and patient with your actions, the man effortlessly ripped your pyjama shirt open, buttons popping out as your bareness was revealed to him, finally.

His mouth fell agape at the sight of your body for the first time ever. He imagined it for so long but to be in that moment was surreal for him. Your insides were turning into molten lava with the way he was looking at you with intentional seduction and awe while he caressed every inch of your body and brought you closer so your skin pressed firmly against his.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered, and despite the lust-filled look in his eyes, he was genuine. He caressed your supple skin as he kissed you, tongue parting your lips as if seeking entrance which you granted as you fought for dominance. He traced kisses towards the sensitive areas of your neck, down to the valley of your breasts as his hand cupped and toyed with your buds. He took one in his mouth, sucking and licking and turning his attention to the other, eliciting a rather loud groan from you.

"Oh gosh..." You were already tingling with pleasure and he hadn't done much yet. You keened in anticipation and need but Wonwoo took his sweet, sweet time with you, marking you in places only he can see. You could feel his breathing becoming heavier as you moved to ever slowly grind against his growing member to alleviate the ache in your core and allow him to feel your warm centre.

Wonwoo was lost in the moment, utterly drawn towards the scent of your skin and how you feel against his body. Your every sound and reaction was enough to drive him crazy, sending adrenaline to course through him as you both found each other in a battle of lips, teeth, and tongue. At one point his glasses became skewed, making the two of you laugh in between the flurry of hungry kisses shared.

"Take your glasses off." You mumbled, tugging on his lower lip and reaching to remove it, but he swiftly grabbed your wrist to prevent you from doing so.

"No." He said simply and quickly maneuvered the two of you so your back hit the bed as he slowly shifted downwards, his eyes fixed on yours behind those thick lenses. "I want to be able to see you clearly."

The laughter quickly dissipated as he once again pressed his lips against your skin, paying attention to every inch of you until he reached your waistband.

"May I?" He asked and you nodded, biting your lower lip and preparing yourself for his next move.

"I want to hear you say it," He mumbled against your skin like a predator playing with his victim before prowling and devouring it. You rolled your eyes playfully trying to mask your crumbling exterior but it was so impossible when he was so close to your core.

"Please touch me..." You let out and, in a blink, Wonwoo peeled off the remaining fabric covering you. His gaze darkened at the sight of your whole body on display for him under the dimmed lights of the room. Blood rushed to your cheeks and you suddenly got conscious causing you to press your thighs together instinctively but he shook his head disapprovingly before prying your thighs apart, gently.

"Love, you're incredible. Don't you ever hide from me." He held such gentle dominance as he looked into your eyes. He placed searing kisses from your knees towards your inner thighs, until he reached your core slick with arousal which made him curse under his breath. You throbbed with need as his warm breath brushed over your sensitive areas, touching you everywhere except where you need him.

"Tell me what you want, darling." Wonwoo commanded, drifting away your core and hovering over you.

"You... please..."

"You have to be specific, baby..." He teased you relentlessly, fingers snaking from your chests to tease and tweak your pebbled buds before he moved towards your aching core.

"Touch me." Your brows furrowed as you looked at him with pleading eyes, body squirming beneath him as his long fingers started circling your sensitive, swollen nub down to your slit.

"Like this?"

"Fuck!" You breathed out, hips lifting to meet his deft fingers. A devilish smirk tugged on his lips, watching every nuance of your expression that was enough to make him even harder.

"You're dripping... I want you to feel good, babe." His competitiveness was on display as he plunged his digits inside you, feeling your velvety walls as you trembled in pleasure. "You like that?" He whispered, shifting to kiss you deeply as he drew his fingers in and out of your wet cave while his thumb worked on your clit. The pleasure you were feeling was incomprehensible that moment, completely lost at the feeling of his skillful fingers driving you to the edge of release.

"Oh Wonwoo... babe..."

"I want you to come for me baby."

Wonwoo dipped his head towards your breast, taking your bud into his warm mouth and cajoled. You gasped heavily, drunk in lust as his fingers curled while he licked, sucked, and nibbled your taut nipples, completely sending you wailing as you climaxed around his fingers. He watched your orgasm for the first time ever -- lips parted, brows knitted, breath ragged -- you were hypnotizing. If your walls felt that amazing around his fingers what more his cock and the thought alone made him twitch.

He was throbbing with need to be buried inside you but he was far from over. While you were still catching the remnants of your orgasm, Wonwoo was already shifting downwards until you felt his mouth and tongue devouring your sweet release. With loud moans, you reached towards him, fingers gripping on his blue locks as he forced your hips down and continued his relentless ministrations.

"Holy shit, Wonwoo..." You whimpered, quivering as you felt another orgasm ripping through you as his wicked tongue drew circles around your clit and sucked, while his fingers entered you once more, massaging that sweet spot inside your walls until you quaked from his stimulation.

"Fucking h-hell..."

"Was it good, baby? You okay?" He asked, brow rising in full curiosity as if he was taking notes mentally.

"Are you kidding me?!"

You both giggled, drunk in each other as you pulled him towards you and wiped his glistening lips and chin, not without apologising how messy it was. Heaps of your clothing were discarded on the floor and you were left with no barriers separating you. The feeling of your warm skin against each other caused sheer delight and comfort and lust all at the same time. You admired all of him, such a work of art from head to toe, hand snaking down and tracing all his perfect ridges. You palmed his sizable length as you looked him in the eye, feeling him grow further and harder. 

"Do you want me to." You asked, already trying to manoeuvre downwards before he shook his head.

"I'd fucking love to, but I can't baby, I won't last long." He admitted, a soft chuckle breaking between you as he pinned you back to the bed. "I need you bad... can I have you now...please?"

"Yes... please..."

Ever so prepared, he had a condom ready on top of the bedside cabinet which he reached out for and ripped the packet using his teeth. You were dying in anticipation as you watched him kneeling between your thighs, his trembling, eager hands trying to roll the rubber around his long, hard shaft but it kept on slipping. "Aish!" He grumbled and you both burst out laughing at his struggle. You took it from him and helped him with it, his teeth buried in his lower lip as he groaned at the feel of your warm hands stroking his aching cock after you wrapped him successfully. Your mind was completely in daze as your handsome man braced himself on the either side of your head and leaned to kiss you, aligning his length against your core before he glided through your wet folds, feeling your warm, slick pleasure coat him through the condom as he teased and prepped you for his length.

Wonwoo smiled gently at you as if he was not just teasing you. His honeyed gaze met yours, taking everything in that moment before whispering, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too."

You encircled your arms around his broad shoulders and he kissed you fervently, tongue diving deep as he lined his cock towards your opening. He pulled away just enough to look into your eyes while he, with one swift thrust, impaled you completely. Fully.

"Fuck baby!"

"Oh Won — babe!"

Both of you groaned in unison at that first delicious stretch. Wonwoo paused to ensure you were okay, only to be rewarded by your nodding and legs wrapping around him. Wonwoo fit you perfectly, like lock and key, made for each other. He smirked, and then he drew out and drove forward, again and again, building up the rhythm and intensity of his thrusts. Your warm walls gave him an in-drawing sensation everytime he pulled out and your loud mewl signalled that he was hitting that special part inside you.

"There?" He asked, memorizing the way you respond at every angle as his huge cock breached your walls repeatedly.

"Yes baby... fuck... keep going!" You breathed out, fingers tugging his hair so you could kiss him as he plowed into your depths.

"You feel so fucking good around me me, baby."

Your loud moans matched each other as he felt the tight pleasure of your core, feeling you pulse and clamp around his length. His deep voice resonated in your head, so erotic as he buried his face in the crook of your neck while his cock throbbed inside you. He bucked his hips upwards with varying yet precise intensity as if trying to mark and claim you as his. The harmonies of your moans and grunts, along with the creaking of the bed and skin slapping filled the room. It was nearly impossible fathom the pleasure you both were feeling after longing for that intimate moment for so long.

As if you weren't on the verge already, Wonwoo dove down and wrapped his talented mouth around your nipple hungrily, making you shudder in delight. You clawed at the broad planes of his back as you gyrated your hips to meet his every thrust, contracting around his length as he bucked deeper and harder each time.

"I am so close - fuck baby." He grunted as he moved with vigor and eagerness, chasing his high and encouraging yours.

"Holy shit - me too -"

Every cell of your body was on fire as he snaked his hand down, rubbing your sensitive clit. His lips found yours and with few more thrusts, sent you closer and closer to your white bliss.

"With me, baby. Cum with me..." He whispered, slamming into you hard and you both spiralled into your glorious, mind-numbing orgasm, cursing and wailing each other's name. You felt his length twitch inside you as he came while your walls clenched around him, milking every last drop of his sweet ecstacy. He was unsure how such insurmountable pleasure was possible. It was nowhere near his imagination as he watched you quaking underneath him as you both reached your climax.

"Oh baby..." You chased his lips with sweet, open-mouthed kisses as he rested his forehead against yours while he tried to steady himself. You continued the gentle movements as you rode out your climax, feeling every perfect sensation and every remnant of the mind-blowing explosion.

He panted heavily, nuzzling against your skin before finding the will to finally pull out of you as he kissed you gently few minutes later. He rolled your body on top of him and engulfed you in his arms as you slowly drifted back to earth. He cupped your face, wiped the streak of pleasure-filled tear that cascaded your cheek, and kissed you ever so gently in contrast of how he did earlier.

You traced soft circles against his skin as you both fully regained your senses and breathing, and suddenly found yourself chortling in drunken pleasure - like you did when you had your first kiss.

"You're amazing. I love you, Y/N."

Your heart fluttered, as if it was the first time you heard him say that. It was always magical whenever he did so. He was a man who preferred actions than words, so hearing him say it always tugged your heartstrings.

"You are otherworldly, Jeon Wonwoo." You murmured and he kissed you once more, smiling against your still plump lips.

"And I love you, too. So much."

-

ODE TO YOU, 7 NOVEMBER, CHIBA

Those three days spent with Wonwoo were indeed filled with memories. You were busy with activities to rest and relax during the day while you spent the night tangled in each other intimately, making the most out of your time and somehow releasing all the pent-up desire you had for each other. By the time you had gone back to the team, Wonwoo had about 3 more days to fully rest before the start of their last 3-day show in Chiba.

The team was excited to make things memorable, given that they would be closing the Japan leg of the tour with a total of 9 shows in the country. They were all ready to roll and make the best out of their performance despite the week of rest not being enough to fully rest and recover.

All was going well until Dino had to be rushed to the hospital mid-day of their first show in Chiba due to a bad case of enteritis, causing him to not be able to participate in their show. This caused not only a massive pressure to the team having to adjust their performance and cover for Dino's absence, but also a deep-seated worry for their youngest's condition.

You entered the assembly room where the directors were briefing them as they prepared and that was when you noticed it -- they were exhausted and in pain. You knew the telltale signs, you had seen it with BTS for years and you had seen it with the team having been working with them for two years.

Most of them were being taped up and assisted by the physical therapists to avoid injuries and further strains. Seungcheol was stretching and wincing from body pains. Some were just sitting and enduring as much as they can. The endless schedule had already taken a toll on them.

Wonwoo sat quietly by the assembly room listening intently but as you monitored the footages from the camera directors, you felt something was off with him, too. Cold sweat beaded his forehead and the tremors in his hands were more noticeable than ever. He had been blotting sweat from his face more than he normally does and even the stylists had to blowdry his hair and shirt repeatedly.

It was something you could not ignore as worry started to kick your gut. You approached the stylists' table and requested a box of facial tissue from them and told them you'd take over in helping Wonwoo, given that there were a lot they still had to look after because of the delays that happened that day. They were all grateful for your help and it was not the first time you needed to step in. You did that a lot for BTS before, too.

When you approached Wonwoo, his shoulders sank and he gave you that soft, pleading gaze - those were huge warning signals that he was not at his best. At times like that even before you started officially dating, Wonwoo would lie in the couch and rest his head against a pillow on your lap, and you normally would just brush his hair with your fingers or massage his scalp. This time, though, it was not something you both could do just yet given that the show was just about to start.

"You okay? You're sweating buckets."

"I am okay, just nervous, I guess."

You smiled softly at him, folding a piece of facial tissue and pressing it into his forehead to blot off his sweat. He reached to hold one of your hands, a silent appreciation for being by his side that moment. His hand was cold and clammy and he was not always like that despite the usual tremors in his hand. He held your hand a little tighter, a little more desperate, and tugged you closer to him as if wanting to feel the warmth you emit to ease whatever storm was inside him.

"You need to take it easy today, love. All of you." You maintained a calm, soothing tone in your voice as your styled his hair to dry off some areas drenched with sweat. He closed his eyes, immediately relaxing when he felt your fingers massaging his temples and scalp as he sighed in delight.

"But Dino's not around, we need to do good."

"You are all naturally great, so try and breathe and not worry too much. Just enjoy it, yeah?"

Wonwoo nodded and smiled at you, hands remained glued to you, whether your hands or waist or anything he could reach as if drawing strength from that contact.

About 30 minutes before showtime, the director instructed them to huddle in the backstage for photos and other instructions The air was still tense, but you felt Wonwoo relax a little, until he laced your fingers together, and with a pleading look on his face, whispered, "Stay by my side."

"I am here, always." You laced your fingers tighter as your other hand gently squeezed his biceps until you reached backstage. He reluctantly pulled away, fingers lingering slightly until he already needed to join the members. "Thank you, I'll work hard."

Your bright smile and encouragement were more than enough to boost his confidence, "You got this. Fighting!"

As they got to the stage, you put your producer hat back on, monitoring the footages for the documentary and instructing the head camera director on the types of footages you want. As expected, they were all doing well, fans were enjoying, and it was just the first set. You, however, could not help but notice Wonwoo's unsual tensed, heavy breathing and that made your stomach turn. You tried busying yourself knowing that worrying would not help at all, but as always, your guts were right.

It was just as they left the stage that your heard someone calling you, your assistant producer panting for air. "PD-nim, come quick! It's Wonwoo!"

"What happened?!"

You had never sprinted that quick before in your life. Blood drained your face as you saw your boyfriend lying down on the stretcher in the brink of unconsciousness, surrounded by medics and many other people.

"Filming is not a priority now, make space." You heard one of the medics instruct as he loosened Wonwoo's shirt and lifted his head.

You squeezed into the area and despite being worried, maintained a collected and professional demeanor as to not aggravate how Wonwoo was feeling. He always hated making people worry, hated making you worry.

"You heard the doctors, please make space. Filming is not a priority, please go now."

You requested, keeping your cool but you were slowly losing patience when some staff members filming still pressed on shooting footages of Wonwoo and what was happening, blocking the way of incoming first aid supplies from the medics.

"Didn't you hear? FILMING. IS. NOT. A. PRIORITY. NOW!"

There was that controlled yet heavy emphasis on your words, gazing sharply at the camera men. Some of them finally realized it was you, one of the head producers of the documentary they were shooting the footages, and all backed away as their head camera director reached the area, requesting for them to leave and he would cover.

"Y/N -" Wonwoo croaked, and you immediately rushed towards him, taking his trembling, clammy hand and massaging him to increase the flow of blood. Your heart broke at the sight of him struggling to catch his breath - his face pale, body tensed, and hands cold as ice.

"I'm here, Won, I got you baby..."

You whispered with determined calm, taking the can of portable oxygen the medic handed you and placed it by his nose and mouth. "Take a deep breath, love, slowly... come on."

Wonwoo obliged, brows furrowed as he struggled to steady his breathing and take in as much oxygen. Few moments later, the stage director called out to update that the next set was about to start. You were opposed to letting him back on stage, but you did not speak, it was not up to you. It was Wonwoo's decision. Wonwoo, still so weak started slowly getting up, assisted by the medics. The stylists quickly fetched his change of clothes for the next so he can change. You knelt in front of where he was seated to remove his shoes and switch pants and then assisted him in wearing the shoes again. He was still so weak and it was eating you alive seeing him like that, but he wanted to endure. Standing, he leaned against your body, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as you and his manager helped him towards the stage. You can sense the intensity of his breathing and the pounding of his chest paired with the disappointed look on his face.

"It's okay, Wonwoo." You looked into his in the eyes, trying to hopefully convince him to sit it out and reassure him it's okay if he can't, but his eyes flashed determination to see it through.

"I am okay. I am ready." He said to you and the manager as you handed him to the stage director and the members who were on his side in a blink.

He got back to the stage where he belongs, shining and performing so beautifully, as if nothing happened backstage. You became even more in awe of the man that he is.

Releasing the breath you had been holding, you got back to working. Wonwoo endured and you must, too.

-

"Cancel all the scheduled interviews and shoot we have with the boys tonight and tomorrow."

"What?" Your co-producers released an incredulous gasp at your request.

"They are tired. They are getting sick and they need to rest." There was authority in your voice and even the managers agreed with you.

"But - "

"But what?"

"We have schedules to follow."

You scoffed unamused.

The tension was heavy in the assembly room where you were holding the end of show huddle. Little did you know it all can be heard in the other room where the boys were resting and changing, all ears on the conversations happening and even talking amongst themselves.

"Really? You'd choose the schedule over the safety of the members? You want to see all of them crawling and dragging themselves in the backstage because of how exhausted they all are?"

You stood from you seat and scratched your temple, "I have been telling you this since before we got here. Their schedules are packed, they do not get enough rest. We are not the ones performing on stage and practicing 20 hours a day, they are."

Your voice resounded and the thin, wooden wall separating the rooms did nothing to mask. The members heard you fighting for them, brazenly.

"Look, I am not trying to start a fight, but I sure as hell am willing to spend extra days and hours filming them myself if that means they'd get the chance to rest in between their shows. Allow them to rest and live and survive. That's all I am asking. How about you? How much are you willing to risk their wellbeing?"

Everyone was speechless. Your intention was evident that day - you were not solely focused on Wonwoo, you were also checking on the other members and ensuring your team wasn't bugging them like they did with Wonwoo. You were right and they knew not to question you, because despite worrying over Wonwoo and being in a relationship him, it had always been clear how fair and professional you are in terms of your work.

The meeting adjourned right after that, with the agreement that you'd take over reviewing the filming schedule and carry out the interviews yourself. As always, you were the last to leave the room with all of them dispersing. Packing your items, you left to check on the members in the other room, shocked at how they all rushed towards you, tackling you with their hugs and gushing at how cool you were for what you did. Wonwoo, on the other hand, just smiled and watched you with adoring eyes - his heart swelled in gratitude towards you and your presence. 

"Yah! Enough of that! I am the one who's sick!" Your boyfriend playfully shouted, approaching you with a small pout as you all broke into fits laughter.

"Oh, my poor Wonu." You cooed and spread your arms for him, and he immediately threw his body onto yours, his arms looping tight around you and burying his face against your neck. The team acted as though they were gagging seeing you like that, but more than the teasing, you all understood the feeling of relief knowing Wonwoo was already much better.

When you reached the hotel, you went to your room to wash the day away with a warm hot shower. You were prepred to work and adjust the schedule of your docu filming when a sudden knock surprised you. You opened the door and there was Wonwoo, carrying his bag and some of his stuff.

"I'll sleep here." He said nonchalantly, entering your room as you took some of his stuff to help him. His eyes were baggy, forehead tensed, and gaits heavy. He did not need to say anything, the deep connection you have was enough for you to know that he was still carrying what happened.

You nodded and beamed at him, "Okay, I'll prep the shower for you, then."

"Thank you, love." He leaned in and you met him in a tender kiss, letting him fix his stuff as you went to the shower to start running it so the water would be at the perfect temperature for him. You pulled out the extra robe from the cabinet and hung it by the door, and even had the hair blower plugged in for later.

He looked so refreshed and relieved once he stepped out of the shower in the robe, his blue hair still dripping.

"Come here." You muttered; another towel ready at your lap. You pat the spot next to you by the bedside and you shifted your body to face him once he was seated. You wrapped the towel around his head, ever so gently squeezing the water out until it was just damp enough. You took the hair dryer plugged into the socket by the bedside table and stood in between his legs, fingers combing through his locks as you blow-dried his hair. Wonwoo released a relieved sigh as your fingers massaged his scalp, his arms automatically wrapping around you to pull you closer so he can rest his head against your chest.

"Love, you did amazing earlier. Seeing you endure like that for the show was incomprehensible."

"Love -"

You adjusted slightly so you can tilt his head and look him in the eyes. You caressed his cheek softly and he closed his eyes while nuzzling against your touch. He saw that sincerity in your eyes and he knew you weren't just buttering him up to make him feel better. You were never that person, you allow him to feel and be human.

"I know you aren't as satisfied, but everyone loved your performance, especially your carats. And I am so proud of you even though I was dying with worry. You did your absolute best for them, literally risking your life and that says everything."

Wonwoo's heart felt lighter at your words, the frown in his face visibly relaxing as a soft grin tugged the corner of his lips. His hand snaked from your waist towards your nape as he pulled you down to kiss you lovingly. 

"It's okay that you are sad now, love. But don't let it eat you up. You still have two shows left, and I am certain you'd also do amazing, and convey your emotions better."

Wonwoo pulled you to the bed and rolled the both of you into the bed and under the duvet, his head resting against your chest, ready to bid the day farewell so he can recharge and greet a new day better and with renewed strength.

"In case I haven't told you recently, I love you, Y/N." He mumbled sleepily but you can hear the smile in his voice.

"In case you it's not obvious, I love you, too, Jeon Wonwoo." You kissed his forehead and continued running your fingers through his locks and massaging his scalp until the two of you drifted off to dreamland.

You'll both be okay, so long as you're together.

Fighting round in circles where is the way out 'Cause I know that our love was hotter than the sun Yeah, the taste of this tequila I'm drinking now Isn't bitter than my heart I want to know our problem, blood type or DNA? Friends see my feed and worry, do you babe? Yeah Been waiting for your call every night But I can't wait no more Dialing you Sorry, darling you You know, without you, I'm so lonely When you're not here, 911 calling Into your heat again, I'm diving Darling you, darling you, baby You know, without you I'm so lonely If you won't be here 911 calling Falling to you I'm always diving Darling you, darling you, baby Darlin', with me under the sun I know that you're my one I don't wanna let you go I can't think of being alone What am I supposed to do? And I gotta let you know You got my heart like it's yours Don't wanna say goodbye I see you, you see me I care for you, you care for me We can be all we need Promise, I won't take you for granted never I'mma treat you better  I'mma see you better So honey, now come into my arms yeah Kiss me baby Kiss me baby

-

In 2020, the merger was officially announced, you as one of the regular producers for Hybe became even more active in supporting the bands, mainly BTS and Seventeen.

Your relationship with Wonwoo became more open - to your friends and to colleagues, who did not seem to worry about it. You were grateful that they were understanding of it, knowing it was inevitable. You remained private and away from public scrutiny, given his prestige. You remained professional and it proved to have no impact on deliverables, the relationship even proved to be helpful, with Wonwoo having more energy when working or the team having someone to talk to about their concerns or share their ideas with. The bond grew stronger, both professionally and personally.

The pandemic proved to be rather difficult and took a toll on both groups who have been working non-stop for years. It meant more efforts were put in ensuring that they would all be safe while being able to still produce quality contents for the fans who need them the most.

That was when you gave birth to and pitched your idea -- In the Soop. A show intended to give them time to heal and recover, while allowing fans to still have quality programme and feel some semblance of normality.

ITS was your brainchild specifically designed for BTS and eventually Seventeen, and because of this, you were assigned as an Executive Producer of the show for the first time ever. It was a hit for BTS and then the preparation for Seventeen ITS officially started -- double in size, double the work, double the chaos.

-

You were in the filming set 3 days prior the members, an advanced party to ensure everything was ready - from the location to product placements, and even the activities they had planned out. You were not in your best mood, if you were being honest, as the last night you spent with Wonwoo before you left ended in a bitter note.

The day before your scheduled departure, you had your pre-flight checks with the members and the staff to talk through all the preparations made, ensuring everyone was all set for the filming. Caffeine ran in your blood trying to keep you awake since the previous weeks had been hectic with all the last-minute product sponsorship and placement offers. During the meeting and the dinner after, you had spent most of the time with Joshua, talking about the activities and even suggesting some more stuff that can be added where possible. Normally, Wonwoo did not mind things like this especially when you were at work, but you were confused to see his sour expression throughout the whole meeting and until you drove home to your apartment where he also sometimes stays. The whole drive was quiet, and it was not the usual comfortable silence you usually shared after busy days.

"You alright, babe?" You asked, pouring him a glass of water and handing it over to him. It was a normal routine whenever you got home, a glass of water for the two of you before your usual rituals as he liked to call it. That night, he just nodded at your question and went towards the bedroom, dismissing the water you offered. You immediately knew something was off. It was a very Wonwoo thing to do to just stay quiet whenever he was feeling or dealing with something uncomfortable.

On normal occasions, you would let it pass and give him time to breathe, knowing he always would crawl back to bed and talk about it. You on the other hand, would normally do something special in order to apologise or make amends.

That night was different.

Your body was aching in exhaustion from the past month of juggling work and other matters. Truly, you wanted to spend the night relaxing with him as planned, but he suddenly had the cold shoulder. Your temples throbbed in pain at the thought of something like this occurring before such a busy and special week for the both of you.

Entering the room after about an hour of contemplating, you saw him already washed up and busy with his phone as he lied in the bed.

“Aren't you going to tell me what's wrong?” You asked, tone a little off – brought about many factors and your emotions overwhelming you.

"Nothing's wrong." He pressed, looking at you with the same sour expression he had during dinner, jaw tensed and eyes blank.

"There's obviously something wrong."

Another silence. Another exasperated sigh from him.

"I am fine."

You approached him in the bed, sitting by the edge as you reached out for him to hopefully soothe him. "I don't believe that... let's talk about it..."

"Then don't! There's nothing to talk about."

That was when you snapped. The harsh answer he gave and the way he blatantly avoided you were enough triggers for you to lose it.

You already fought over silly things or concerns couples would normally fight about but nothing lasted more than a day. You always ensured to make up before the day ended, and you did not sleep on any issues you had. This time he was flat out cold and mean, and you were angry and exhausted enough to deal with his attitude.

"I have no energy for this, please." Your gaze was gentle in contrast with his stone-cold expression as his jaw clenched and avoided eye contact. “I am so tired, let’s just –”

"Is it my fault you're tired?!" He cut you off sarcastically, fuelling the your fire until you combusted.

"Did I say it was because of you? You're impossible! You were the one who's been giving me this attitude since this afternoon when all I want is to be with you tonight! If you are tired of this relationship, just fucking tell me and I'll leave instead of you acting like that!" You blurted, breathless, voice laced with both pain and fury, then walked away and slammed the door shut to spend the night in the living room so you both can have some space to cool down.

Your heart felt so heavy you cried yourself to sleep. 

You were sleepless that night, tossing and turning in bed, eyes puffy from crying, wondering what went wrong and how things transpired. That morning before leaving, you shook him awake to let him know, and he just groaned, still fast asleep and unable to even pry his eyes open.  

While you were busy with preparations, you still wanted to ensure he was alright, but unfortunately, you ended receiving with 1-word updates and responses from him, 'studio', 'home', 'okay'. Aside from that, he completely ignored your calls, either intentionally or when he was busy playing games or packing his stuff for the trip with the members. It was driving you crazy the entire time, but you had massive responsibilities in your plate, and you did not want to bother any other person.

Your heart wasn't cooperating, though. It felt as though a huge brick was sitting atop of your chest while you were working. You thought that maybe you were right, that maybe he wanted out and the thought alone was killing you inside. How could it be? Was it a long time coming? If it was, you were not sure when it started. You were perfectly fine the last few months and everything seemed normal so you could not understand what had gone wrong. These thoughts plagued your mind whenever you weren't distracted by work. You turned your full attention to work, ensuring there was no idle time for you, in the hope to alleviate your fears even just by a fraction.

The last day before their arrival, you were caught up with so much last-minute work, pulling an all-nighter in your cabin to sort some final requests. The staff knew just how huge your role was and just how much effort you poured into this. They wanted to at least ensure you would be able to get some rest because you were doing all the heavy-lifting before it all even started, hence allocating you the small cabin near the upper house.

Your personal phone was left forgotten by the bed since the morning of the last day of preparation. You did not have reason to bring it with you, he had been ignoring you anyway and the quiet of your phone the last two days caused more pain and frustration. Besides, you also considered the crucial bits that had to be done that day required your undivided attention.

Buried in piles of work with your staff and directors until dawn, you missed his numerous calls and messages you never even realised you received.

Your strength waned and your body gave up and succumbed to sleep around 7:00 AM, the day of their scheduled arrival.

You finally caught a bug after draining yourself – falling sick at the first day of shoot.

Great.

Not.

--

Wonwoo was losing his mind. 

He had been calling you since the day before their departure – wanting to speak, apologize, or even just hear your voice to bring even a dose of sanity back into his system. He sent you multiple messages asking how you were, whether you were busy, or what you were doing. Even that morning when he left the dorm, he tried calling to tell you he was on his way but was only routed to your voicemail without hearing anything back. He almost reached out to other producers, but it was one thing you both agreed not to do – never involve other staff. The members naturally would be involved or rather involve themselves due to the level of deep relationships you have, but never the other staff members.

Dino noticed the hard expression on his face, eyes tired as he took the reigns in driving to the location. He was tired but it was a way for him to clear his mind and become distracted.  

"You alright, hyung? Did you sleep last night?" The youngest inquired, both curious and worried that his older brother might be a little too tired to drive.

"Ah, yes. I am okay. Just stayed up playing games so I only slept couple of hours." He faked a laugh and focused on the road. “Don’t worry.”

"Aish! Oh well, we can sleep as long as we can for a week."

Wonwoo hummed in agreement.

Although, he was not sure on whether he can sleep at all with what's happening between the two of you. He had not been sleeping well since the night of the fight. 

-

They arrived at the venue a little past lunchtime, just as you finished preparing for the day. You were in so much pain and craving rest, but it was the most crucial part of the shoot – to welcome them In the Soop.

The cars pulled over the driveway one by one, filling the area with the usual energy the thirteen members always have. The way they bickered and giggled and marvelled at the surroundings echoed around the quiet forest and that strengthened and excited you to leave the room to officially welcome them. It was something they had looked forward to for a long time, knowing just how much they also enjoyed their seniors’ content. You were looking forward to that moment, too, after nearly a year of planning for this to finally happen. All of them greeted you from afar when you left the cabin, bright smiles warming your heart.

The moment you saw Wonwoo leaving the car, it hit you once more just how deeply you love him. Despite what happened, there was a sense of comfort his presence gave. You've been together for two years already and while the initial start of your relationship was all intense outpour of pent-up emotion and affection, it transitioned to a 'calm' type of love when your relationship grew. The love you have is a type of love that one would yearn for – like a hug after a long day, a warm cup of hot chocolate during winter, or a home to go back to after being away – your love has always been a soft place to land. No arguments or misunderstandings could take away the fact that your home would always be each other.

He felt the same - the way he softly looked at you conveyed the things he could not say then.

You never wanted the members to suspect something was happening with the two of you, so you took it upon yourself to get the awkward hello out of the way. You approached Wonwoo and pressed a soft kiss against his cheek and he held you by your waist tightly, no matter how brief it was.

It would suffice for now, you both thought.

Of course, the members noticed something seemed off. It had been three days and normally you would be a bit more affectionate. They expected Wonwoo to run towards you as he always did, hold your hand, or wrap you in his arms. There was none of that and there was an unexplained tension between you.

Beneath your smiles and the excitement as you showed them around the area, you were just trying to power through the pounding headache and nausea, paired with your emotional turmoil. Joshua noticed it first, as always, and then Jeonghan. You had a tired look on your face, sunken eyes, and trembling hands as you instructed them. They immediately knew something was happening, they know you. No one was brave enough to voice it out, though you sensed their worries. 

When everyone finally settled down, you retreated to your room to answer emails and send updates to you bosses and to the team, delegating the first parts of the interview snippets that must be completed that day. You were sneezing endlessly and your temperature continued to rise as you pressed on working. Thankfully, the test kit was negative, so you knew it was just a regular bug.

Your time alone did not last too long as Jeonghan barged into your room, asking you about what happened. You denied and told him you were just sick, but Jeonghan did not buy it, so he held you hostage in your room until you finally shared that apart from being sick, the fight with Wonwoo was a huge factor on why you were not at your 100%. He knew the woes of being in a relationship and how it can impact one person, and for that you truly appreciated him.

"I'll ask Shua to bring you food."

"No, I'll be fine."

"Eeehh, I don’t care. Shut up and rest." He insisted, already leaving your cabin to go to the kitchen you assumed.

You caved in and you were only woken up when Joshua's soft voice echoed around the room and the smell of stew wafted through the air. You were leaning down the table napping when he saw you gently stirring awake. You had already lost track of time.

"You okay, Y/N?"

Joshua’s kind eyes widened as he saw you, worry evident in his voice as he placed the pot down, and gently assisted you to a better position. He dashed to get a pillow, placed it on the back of the chair to make it comfortable, and served you the stew he prepared for you.

"Since when are you sick?" He gently asked, handing you a spoon, and placing a hand against your forehead to feel your warm skin.

"This morning, I guess. It's just a bug, I'll be fine with some more sleep."

Joshua had always been caring towards you, like he would with other members. There was something about the way he paid attention to you that you appreciate a lot, but you never gave it another meaning. He has always been a gentle friend and he genuinely cares about everyone.

"Do you want me to call Wonwoo?"

"No, I am okay. Thank you so much, you should get back there. I need you guys in the camera." You managed to laugh before coughing, and he swiftly gave you a glass of water. He smiled gently at you, watching you savour the stew, staying just a little longer and ensuring you’d eat before leaving requested.

“Feel better, Y/N.”

-

Wonwoo saw Jeonghan and Joshua leave your cabin, and that did not help how he was feeling. He saw them preparing meals, and while he did not ask, he assumed it was for you since it was your favourite kimchi stew. Your name also popped up in the conversation as they prepared your meal, talking about you quietly as if hiding something. Instead of asking, Wonwoo chose to be quiet – thinking that your personal issues don't have a place there, you were there to work, after all.

He spent the night with the members, laughing, playing games, and just relaxing until it was time to sleep. You did not hear anything from him that night, but you saw him once you start checking footages when you woke up by the middle of the night. It was a relief to see him like that, resting and enjoying without any pressure despite technically still being at work.

The next day, the team had more free time to laze around or do as they pleased. Wonwoo and Joshua spent more time in the playroom after their brunch, working on their crafts or building blocks. The older member seized the opportunity to speak with your boyfriend, perhaps to gain more understanding of what was happening and why Wonwoo seemed to be in the dark about your situation.

"How's Y/N? Is she feeling better?" Joshua asked, testing the waters and checking whether Wonwoo even knew you were sick. Joshua did not see Wonwoo visit you that morning and not even when you were basically dragging yourself towards the production team to give instructions while you were covered in thick jackets and double masks.

Wonwoo's expression did not lie – there was flinch in his expression coupled with a surprised and worried look no matter how much he tried to hide it, "Yeah. She's okay... just busy." Wonwoo's jaw tensed.

Joshua nodded, fully taking in that it was right you got into a fight and that Wonwoo was unaware you were sick. "That's good to hear. You should spend time together once she's fully recovered. We've the week here, you know. And away from prying eyes, too, except ours of course." Joshua gave Wonwoo a knowing smile, trying to lighten the mood. 

Wonwoo smiled and nodded before walking outside the house just in time for Jeonghan to invite him for a walk. He felt weak, knees wobbling at the thought of you sick and upset, and then him unable to explain why he acted such way few nights ago.

Jeonghan and Wonwoo strolled through the woods, appreciating the nature and the privacy of the place despite cameras here and there. The sun peeked through the thick trees and the branches, casting a nice shadow around the trail they were walking on. Every one thought the place was amazing, carefully chosen for them in such a perfect time of the year. Wonwoo wanted to enjoy, but what's happening between you was eating him up for the past few days already.

Wonwoo understood it was only natural for Jeonghan to step in during such situation. He has always and been the team's mom-slash-counsellor, and the reason why he asked him to walk with him was clear – you. Jeonghan has always been such an observant but more than that, he cares a lot about you and Wonwoo separately and together.

"Do you know she's sick?" Jeonghan asked plainly, looking up at his younger brother who just shook his head.

"Yah!" He scolded Wonwoo with a disapproving look on his face and hit his arms. "I had to coerce her to tell me since when she was sick and learned she had not been sleeping well since the fight, too. She needs you now. I don't care what happened, but you need to fix it, you're obviously not okay too, and the show might be impacted because of this."

"I don't know how to start, hyung." Wonwoo mumbled, brows furrowed at he looked at his older brother as if seeking guidance. "She's still angry, I think."

"Aaah, you THINK? How many of her texts and calls did you ignore like she is a nuisance?"

"I tried calling yesterday... just —"

"She's already sick and working her ass off. Her heart was probably heavy, too, not knowing why you suddenly got angry at her." Jeonghan shared, just trying to make Wonwoo realize how much you need his support that moment especially.

"I am not angry."

"Then why did you act that way?"

Wonwoo could not speak. It was too complicated and embarrassing to admit.

They continued walking in silence as Wonwoo pondered on things. Seungcheol saw them and caught-up, and Wonwoo felt even more pressured as though his parents would be telling him off any minute then.

"Y/N looks like a zombie earlier. I got scared I saw her walking to get water in the fridge outside. I did not know she was sick!" Seungcheol chuckled as if amused but Jeonghan gave him the look that made him purse his lips.

"Ah, you fought?" Seungcheol asked Wonwoo.

"Yeah. My fault. I got jealous and was an ass towards her." Wonwoo finally admitted, scratching the back of his neck as Jeonghan and Seungcheol snorted and shook their heads. The couple casually laced their hands together, no fears at all as they savoured the secrecy of the place. Wonwoo’s heart ached, he wanted that, too. He wanted to hold your hands, watch the sunset and the stars with you, and bask in nature with you by his side.

"Do you doubt her? Your relationship?"

"No! Never!" Wonwoo was quick to respond. There was nothing like that. He trusts you wholeheartedly, but he just got insecure somehow, especially with the affection others showed you.

"Then why don't you tell her what's wrong? You know whatever it is, you are both adults, you just need to talk about it. That's what Hannie and I do every time. Just talk, communication is always the key, even though you hate that sometimes."

Seungcheol's advice were always practical and straightforward - an ace of a true leader. He has always been sensitive and considerate, but real blunt when needed.

"Besides," Jeonghan said, his voice softer this time as if trying to coax Wonwoo out of his bubble, "she misses you, but she is waiting and giving you time to come into your senses. Did you know she personally bought the telescope you requested because she wanted it to be special and based on what you really want?"

Wonwoo's eyes widened in surprise, then turned his head down as he answered a meek, "No."

"In the Soop is her baby and she is excited for this turn great, not for herself but for us members. And for you. She has been looking forward to it for months." Seungcheol added. "She'll listen to you whatever it is, Wonwoo, she loves you. You just have to trust yourself and trust her, too."

Guilt was eating Wonwoo inside. It hurt so much to hear that you were sick, and he wasn't even there to ask how you are and look after you. It hurt to hear that your friends know just how much you love him, yet he still acted that way that night. Jeonghan and Seungcheol were right, whatever it was, he needed to fix it. Wallowing in jealousy, fear and pride would not help.

Wonwoo nodded at them and released a deep breath, mumbling a soft thank you to the two.

"Now go, we need time alone." Seungcheol requested with a soft snicker, pointing towards the direction of your cabin. "Good luck."

-

Wonwoo's heart was pounding. He was too scared and anxious on how the conversation will end. There were endless scenarios in his head but most of all, he was frightened that you would really choose to leave. The gloomy weather that followed did not help either. He found himself by the tarp having tea with Minghao, trying to still compose himself before going. And, he did not go to you right away. If he was being honest, he just showered again to buy himself some more time.

Your cabin was secluded just a few steps from the main house, even then, he took slow and careful steps towards it. It was dark inside apart from the warm light coming from the open curtains of your cabin. He knew you were there as the producers forced you to rest the whole day. 

He silently approached your door which was slightly ajar and watched you. You were wrapped in blanket with your back facing the door as you browsed your phone and read conversations and missed messages, before locking it and curling up. His heart felt heavy seeing you like that, alone in the dark, sick, and worried. It was another punch in his gut that he could no longer bear.

The room smelt of berries and mint, the way it normally would whenever you just got out of shower. He always loved that smell, it reminds him of home every time, reminds him of you. He even got his own one he used whenever he was on tour and you weren’t with them just so he would not miss you too much. The smell is always a reminder of good times and that no matter how long the road takes him away, you would always be waiting for him. It stirred something inside him – he cannot lose you.

Finally taking a deep breath, he entered the room. You would know those footsteps from anywhere no matter how quiet it was, but even then, you weren't quick enough because in just a blink, the bed dipped as he crawled under the duvet, his arm wrapping around your middle to pull you plush against his body. Your heart clenched and despite everything that happened, his embrace was all you needed. A sudden wash of calm and relief flooded your entire being as if a heavy load was lifted off your chest. Eyes remaining closed, you allowed him to lace your fingers together and pulled him closer, too. No amount of sleep and rest can ever beat his warmth.

"I am sorry, Y/N." He whispered, pressing soft kisses against your shoulders and towards your neck and cheek, feeling him gently sniffling. "I am so sorry." His voice was merely a whisper, as if he was just thinking out loud.

Your heart ached, feeling a drop of his tear that made you turn your body to face him. You met his eyes brimming with tears as his lips quivered. The sight broke your heart. There was something behind those tears, a deeper reason why things turned out the way they did. Just how hurt he looked that moment made you pray to all the gods for them to take those pain away.

"Wonwoo, I am sorry, too." You whispered, wiping the lone tear that cascaded against his beautiful face. Before leaning in closer as he pulled you in to eliminate all the distance between you. He pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he tried to compose himself.

"I am so scared you'd leave me. I am scared that you would realize others can take better care of you, cook food when you're sick, say all the right things... I am scared you'd realize you deserve someone better." Wonwoo whispered softly, eyes searching yours. He was hurt, jealous, and frustrated, but most of all, anxious. Anxious that you would leave him after what happened and after how he acted. Anxious that he ruined his home.

"Hey, where is this coming from?" You asked soothingly, gently brushing your fingers through his scalp as you tried to get to the root of whatever was causing it.

He hesitated at first, pressing his lips together, unable to form words to explain how he felt.

"It's all okay, you can tell me, my love." You encouraged, massaging the back of his head to soothe him.

"Shua-hyung noticed you were sick. I did not even see it because I was so selfish and jealous. I got so jealous of him that night even though I should not have, I know it was just work. Then yesterday when he cooked for you –” He paused, brows scrunched up in frustration as his voice quivered, "I could not even cook for you, the best I could do is ramyeon, and I was not even here to take care of you when you were really sick!"

Memories of that day came flashing before your eyes. You did not notice that during the meeting Joshua was making you laugh and complimenting you every so often, but Wonwoo saw that. The way Joshua gave you a lingering hug and reminded you take it easy made Wonwoo evaluate whether he was able to give such comfort or whether he had become complacent and too comfortable with the relationship. He thought of all the times he was busy playing games for hours when you might have needed him. He thought of those times when he was not able to pay attention to you because he knew you were just there, and he knew you wouldn't leave. It scared him that he might’ve taken your presence for granted. He always felt the Joshua has feelings for you and he thought about how easy it would be to love such person.

You, on the other hand, never paid attention to such things because all you ever wanted was Wonwoo. That night all you were looking forward to was him alone. He always told you he'd like to be better at things, but you love him as he is. The simple mundane things you do together are more than enough – the way he complains whenever he is losing, the way he silently tangles himself with your body after long days at work, the way you gossip about stuff until the wee hours of the night, the way he brings you home little trinkets from tours whenever you were unable to come with them, and the way he holds you with nothing but soft reminders of just how much he loves you. You could not ask for more than what you both have.

He cupped your face and pressed his lips together, swallowing a lump of tear, "I’ll treat you better, see you better. I’ll be better. I can't lose you and I am terrified the last few days that maybe I just did."

"Wonwoo love, listen to me. I am sorry I made you feel that way. I am sorry that you got scared because of whatever I said or how I acted. To be honest, that night, I just really wanted you. I was looking forward to spending time with you and I was hurt and tired and overwhelmed with emotions. I did not mean to hurt you, baby. I never meant for that to scare you." You poured your heart out as if willing all the pain away as your tears finally escaped. "And I don't care if you can't cook, so long as you promise to wash the dishes and clean up whenever I do." You chuckled softly to lighten the mood which also made him let out a chuckle and nod.

“I am the best dishwashing fairy you can ask for,” He mumbled and pressed a kiss on your forehead.

"You are more than enough for me, Jeon Wonwoo. You take care of me the way I need to be taken care of. Your presence alone is enough. You are my safe place and my best friend. The other things are just… bonus. You are my favourite person since day 1, remember? I chose you, I choose you, and I will keep on choosing you."

Wonwoo's eyes glistened as he soaked up your words that vanished all his worries away. You left him speechless that all he can do was pour all his emotions in a passionate kiss, whispering ceaselessly, "I love you. I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Jeon Wonwoo."

-

You stayed like that for a few more minutes, tangled against each other as he pressed soft kisses on the top of your head. You breathed him in as if gaining strength from the way he embraced you and every pain the last few days seemed to have healed.

"You're still feverish, love." His deep voice rang in your ears, his hand pressing against and feeling your skin.

"Yeah, you really shouldn't have kissed me. You might get sick." You mumbled, looking up at him to see a softer gaze, calmer expression compared to how he looked earlier. You stayed like that, admiring every feature of his face, from his eyebrows, the perfect slope of his nose, his defined cupid's bow and lips, and those dazzling eyes. You could not help but smile in admiration. He's your home. He always will be.

"Why?" He asked, soft smile tugging against the corners of his lips as he saw you watching him intently.

"You okay now? We okay?" You gazed at those warm dazzling eyes and allowed yourself to get lost in them. His eyes always saw through you and that moment, you hoped he'd also see the sincerity behind everything you told him.

Wonwoo nodded and sighed in relief, pressing a sudden kiss on your lips, "More. than. okay." He mumbled in between pecks which made you chuckle softly, trying to mask the fact that the butterflies on your stomach were fluttering crazily.

"They're going to kill me if you get sick." You mumbled only to be silenced by more kisses and cuddles from him.

"It's a happy virus."

All was well.

Baby, I will be your happiness You're always on my mind, all the time Please don't forget this moment Oh, I can't hide it Geez, I want to give you all of my heart Oh my love, warmly call out for me when I'm by your side I'll only fill you with love Above that endless sky This night of stars pouring down Is looking at you sleeping next to me Dreaming the same dream and feeling the same way You see we are spending the same night together Even if I give you everything in the world I will never change Promise me eternity If you feel the same way as I do No matter what happens Don't worry, I'm by your side Oh, I want to know more about your day with me Oh my love, you are deeply positioned in my heart You are the brightest light In the many grains of sand I can only find you I want to protect you who's sleeping next to me in this night Every moment without you is meaningless, no ooh-oh Even the reason why I breathe Is because my heart wants to have you in it

--

BONUS:

“Wonwoo-hyung?” Mingyu’s voice boomed around your cabin, dragging you back to earth from the dreamland after being asleep for a few hours. You stayed up with the members and some managers drinking and chatting until sunrise as it was the only time they got to spend with you. “You here? We need to go by noon!”

Mingyu entered your room upon hearing you grumbling, which caused him to giggle and plop into your bed nonchalantly. “You okay, noona?”

“You’re so loud!” You groaned and pulled a pillow to yourself when Mingyu hogged the cover as if he was about to sleep as well. “Wonwoo, your husband is here!” You yelled sleepily, hoping your boyfriend who was busy in the shower could hear you so you can enjoy the quiet once more.

“Hyung, make it quick! We’ll leave soon.” Mingyu hopped off the bed, walking around the room towards the mirror to fix his clothes. “Wanna tag along, noona?” He asked only to burst out laughing when he saw you glowering at him just as the door opened to your boyfriend who was already dressed and ready for their fishing trip. Wonwoo tried holding back his chuckle at how you looked, lips pressed firmly as she struggled.

“Leave quick, I want to sleep more please.” You groused once more, throwing a pillow at them making Mingyu run towards the door and bid you a teasing goodbye.

Your brows furrowed in the pounding headache, and you swore you were never drinking again. You felt your skull being split into two from the hang-over and you did not even drink that much. You thought maybe that it was because you were sick few days back, but historically, alcohol had always helped you.

“You okay?” Wonwoo asked, worried as he watched you. He had memorized your quirks already – he knows your HO cure like how you know his – but still he could not help but worry.

“Yeah, just headache… need grease…”

“Ack babe, you can no longer hold your liquor.” He teased playfully, already fetching pain killers and a bottle of electrolyte drink for you. “Quick, take this before sleeping again.” He sat by the bed and helped you sit, popping the pill into your mouth, helping you drink, and wiping your lips. “Good girl. Hang-on, I’ll elevate your pillows.” Wonwoo mumbled, adjusting your pillows and tucking you back in a comfortable position so you can sleep more.

“Thank you, love.” You mumbled, eyes closed as you blindly held on to his arm to thank him.

“I’ll buy you grease on our way back.” He smiled and left gentle pecks on your lips and then pulled away to shut the curtains close before making his way out.

You slept for another hour until you needed to get up and work.

And as promised, Wonwoo came back with your HO cure – a nice, meaty beef burger which melted your hang-over immediately.

-

The night went deeper in the forest, but you hadn’t seen Wonwoo for most of the time since he brought your burger. Everyone seemed to be busy with their own stuff with some ruckus from afar. Shaking your head, you turned your attention towards the computer screen, writing reports around footages taken that day for editing reference and arranging the metadata for the snippets.

Like how it has always been with the members, your solitude was broken with a loud banging on your door.

“Noona!” Hoshi greeted ever cheerfully, walking towards you. “Can you help me with something please?”

“Depends.” You chuckled, “What is it?”

Hoshi just smiled mischievously, his eyes completely vanishing as he did so. “Let’s go, I’ll show it to you.”

Surrendering, you nodded and followed him outside your room towards the darker way deeper into the forest.

“What is it, Hoshi?”

“We’re near.” He muttered as you reached the pathway towards the gazebo lit by lanterns.

You were at a loss for words at what you saw next.

“Yaaah, what’s this?” Your heart fluttered against your chest as you tried taking in what was happening.

The members were there, all lined up, each holding a sunflower they handed over to you one by one before walking sideways in a perfect relay. Your cheeks hurt from beaming throughout until you reached Mingyu who was the last one to give you the flower.

“Hope you’re no hung-over anymore, noona.” He winked and gave you the sunflower, then stepped aside to reveal your boyfriend.

Wonwoo stood there holding three sunflowers, a huge, loving smile painted on his face as you took slow steps towards each other.

“What’s this?” You were stunned as you asked the question, hear racing against your ribcage as you met his gaze.

“Y/N, would you go on a date with me? Now?” Wonwoo inquired ever so smoothly, earning loud whooping cheers from the members.

“Of course, I would.” You flushed, taking the flowers he handed over to you, eyes never leaving his chocolate ones.

You looked back at the team to thank them. They waved goodbye, proud of their perfect execution, asking you and Wonwoo to enjoy your time together.

With hands intertwined, Wonwoo led you towards the gazebo now all decked up with lanterns and the telescope you bought for him. A picnic cloth laid in the middle of the gazebo, with two bottles of non-alcoholic sparkling wine and a huge charcuterie board filled with your favourite types cheeses and cold-cuts sitting by.

You were utterly amazed by everything, unable to comprehend how Wonwoo pulled off such surprise once more, and in the middle of the forest to add to that.

Your heart was full, as always, because of him.

“Love…” A dreamy sigh left your lips as you faced him. “How? Why?”

Wonwoo turned bashful but held you closer by your waist, “I’ve always wanted to remake our first ever ‘date’ in the back of my car, and somehow elevate it. This time we can really watch the stars and not just the city lights.”

“Oh Jeon Wonwoo, the man that you are.” Filled with astonishment, you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and closed the distance between you, pouring all your emotions in that passionate exchange.

Under the endless velvet sky and glimmering stars, you once again reminded each other that you are feeling the same way and dreaming the same dream, and that if eternity is true, you both can rest in certainty that no matter what happens, you are always each other’s haven and your hearts would always want each other.

---

Thank you for reading, darling. 💗💙 Coming Soon: MAMA 2019 and some real fluffy and steamy Yuletide stuff. 💗💙

#wonwoo smut #wonwoo #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo imagines #seventeen smut #svt x reader #wonwoo fluff #jeon wonwoo #jeon wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo smut #seventeen imagines #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #jeongcheol #mingyu #svt smut #jeonwonwoo #idol x reader #wonwoo x reader smut #svt x you #seventeen x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen fic #svt

[ravengards-rogue]

i lose control (when you're not next to me.)

javier escuella x reader

✧ tags : afab + fem!reader (gendered language + wearing dresses etc), established relationship, religious imagery (maybe sacrilege)takes place in ch.4 of rdr2, submissive!reader, soft dom!javier, some spanish petnames (mi amor mi vida, and hermosa i think), pillowing humping, penetration, very lovesick sex lol, veryy established dynamic, praise kink, written like. sooo explicitly for @nanamimizz, 18+

✧ wc : 5.2k (after editing mind you)

✧ a/n : this is fucking nuts LMAOO. i wrote this like. no bullshit in a day. i don't know how that happened. mentioned in the tags that this is for my beloved best friend but i think it's still okay to post. im losing it a little. i have hw due in an hour

✧ synopsis : javier can't help but feel some ways about the way you miss him. so dreadfully obedient. so apparently needy. how could he not adore you?

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆

There’s something a little pathetic in the way you pine after Javier that makes him a worse man than he is. 

He’s good to you though. Always. Down to his bones, the core of him. The soul of him. It’s hard to be anything but good to you. 

In all of his life, across lovers, men and women - he doesn’t think he’s met a single soul who simply likes him as much as you do. Who preens so pretty with so little, who doesn’t need much at all. Never met a woman who tucks and folds herself into corners just to be polite. Never thought he’d find it so fascinating, either - but you prove him wrong often. 

It’s testament to Javier’s adoration that he can’t help but notice you anyway. That even when your featherlight footsteps and darling voice fall off and get caught on the wind and blown away - Javier will still manage to find you. Even with all of your attempts to make yourself small and unrecognizable, his sharp brown eyes will still catch on the linen of your skirts and the threaded gold of your cross necklace. Javier’s own body betrays him in his love for you, in his wanting. 

Even though he’s not interested in pretending he doesn’t love you, his eyes and mouth and hands would look and call and search. They’d never give him the opportunity to be anything but in love. 

It’s important that he makes that known. He’s only ever interested in being a good man to you. Holding you and kissing you and worshiping you until you’re melty between his fingers. Javier loves loving the resistance out of you and you always make it so easy for him. 

He’s a good lover by nature and by practice. Passionate and maybe a little conceited, it’s not his first brush with romantics. He can only hope it’ll be his last. 

Even so, he’s never been liked the way you like him. 

You like Javier in a way you seem embarrassed by when you remember. It causes you to act in ways out of character on the surface, emboldened. Maybe just needy. Enough to bask in his praise and affection once a little liquor has touched your mouth. You like Javier in a way that makes you lovesick and puppylike, all honeyed gazes and pouty lips. He’s never met somebody who likes him the way you do, without grandstanding. Just pure, puppy love. Almost innocent if you don’t look too long. 

Almost being what matters most. 

Javier knows the way you were raised, after all. Knows the intimate ways in which you fold yourself and tuck your wants between the pages of your diary and slip your requests under your tongue. It’s hard for you to want for anything too much because you’ve been told your whole life that wanting at all is a sin. Wanting may even get you killed. A good woman should want nothing but salvation. Anything more than that is indulgence and there’s nothing good about that. It translates in the way you carry yourself. You’ll stop and fumble and shy away before even fixing your lips to ask, like you’re planning on being rejected or told no. 

A good girl like you being told no so often, it’s made you all sacrifice and empty prayers. Javier often feels grief about your lives before each other but nothing makes it so evident as that. A good woman, a beautiful and kind and soft one like you should never hear the words no without the best of reasons. That’s what Javier believes for all of his lovers, but you’re special. 

And that makes it worse. 

For you he’d do anything. No price he wouldn’t pay, no place he wouldn’t go, nothing that’s too far out of his reach. He thinks maybe he’s so eager to give it to you because he knows you don’t have it in you to take it yourself. You won’t whine greedily even if Javier tells you too, so Javier’s giving is only a partial virtue. It’s mostly pride, after all. It hurts his ego a little when you refuse to bask in the love he so enthusiastically wants to drown you in. 

Despite his complaints though, it’s a part of you that makes him so weak to you. That you want with such desperation but don’t allow yourself to take - so it makes you pliant and willing and terribly, adorably pathetic. You’re so weak for Javier. Just for him, you always say. Always with a hand in his, or wrapped around his bicep. All yours, Javi. Always his. 

That’s the thing. Javier wants to give everything in the world to you. He wants to be good to you, and he so often is. But you do things sometimes, all collapsed under the weight of your own desire that drive him insane. Make him act in ways he normally wouldn’t dream of doing. Depraved and filthy and unromantic in all senses of the word. 

It’s really not very polite for Javier to stand and watch you at his door - humping his pillow with weeps and huffs. It’s not kind to embarrass you. He’s a good man, and a good man would cover you with his coat and maybe smile about how much you care for him. 

But there’s just something about the look on your face when you do it, something about the tear stains in your lashes and the way your cheek is pressed in his jacket. Something about that needy, incessant little ache in your voice as you call and call and call for him. As if you’re hoping you’ll answer despite him not being there.

Javier is a good man to you. Maybe he could be better. Maybe he’s not good enough.  

He stands in the doorway of your shared bedroom with a soft, gentle grin. There’s no question he’s behaving a worse man than he is. Than he ought to be. 

He’s quiet as he shuts the door, balancing his weight to remain noiseless. 

Javier doesn’t particularly like being all the way out in Saint Denis nor is he fond of intel missions. The city is loud, the people unfriendly - though he likes the music and art. He prefers staying in camp if he can help it, but this big bank heist has everyone busy. He’s at least thankful that it’s given him an excuse to be with you. Your knowledge of herbs and poisons and the like have been helpful to gathering information. Been a lot of slipping things in drinks and making people forget. The sort of dirty work he’s accustomed too, while also getting a chance to be with you in a place with four walls and a bath. A dream for the future, maybe. 

It’s been nice, but he’s been out now for two days - out in the streets gathering information about Bronte’s people. A bunch of lowlifes just like them, but with their hands in the pocket of the city. He’s only been gone for two days, so there’s no reason you should miss him this much. And yet he hears it anyway. And it pleases him, truthfully. 

He takes off his coat as he listens to you at the doorway. Shrugs the middle-weight material of his sheen suit jacket over his shoulders and lays it on a chair, takes off his wingtip-gaiter shoes, undoes the yellow puff tie from around his neck. Nothing but a white linen dress shirt and the dark black slacks he’s been wearing for days now, some parts covered in bloodstains he only barely managed to wash out in the river not long ago. 

He’s thankful he took a bath before getting in now, listening to you moan. His hands being clean feel like a blessing - just his luck. 

He manages to remain quiet as he steps into the main room - a single bed in the center. Javier finds you there in a heap as he rests his body along the wall of the entrance to his right. He crosses his arms over his chest as he takes a minute to take in the scenery, admiring the soft lowlights and the way they cast shadow on your body. 

The wooden bed frame creaks slightly as you rut your hips. You’re out of it, Javier can tell, since you’ve yet to sense the fact he’s come in. The paintings along the back wall click against soft red walls themselves, over and over in an arrhythmic tic. Javier tries not to laugh. Gives himself a minute to admire the moment for what it is, the vulnerable desperation of your lust. He has to get over the disbelief, too. Over the fact your face is buried in the open part of his bluecoat and that you’ve got a hotel pillow(his hotel pillow) between your legs. One that you’re humping so frantically he can’t help but feel sorry for you. 

You’re making a mess.

You are a mess. The way the white chemise falls over your back and hips, and the lack of finesse in your gestures. If Javier had to bet money on it - he’d bet money on the fact you probably didn’t start this way. He figures you nested with his coat and pillow to go to sleep and then worked yourself into something senseless and desperate. And he’d figure if he didn’t show up, you wouldn’t cum at all. You’d go to bed all frustrated and tired and just wait for him like always. 

Any man would be pleased by it, he thinks. And a good one would never embarrass you about it. Javier tries his best. Weighs his options, but the words slip from his mouth before he can think to stop them. 

Pure elation in his words wrapped up in a smug delight. “Aye, hermosa - you’re gonna ruin my things you know?” 

Your reaction is what he expects. You jump out of your skin first, sitting straight up. Javier bites back a laugh as you do, big wide eyes like a deer caught in the scope of a rifle. You look around the room, worried you’re imagining him. Once you’ve come back to reality enough to realize he’s real and tangible - all the neediness washes right back into your expression. 

“Javier,” You sniffle and god. Javier hopes the heavens are more merciful to him than he is to you. “Javi,” 

“I’m home,” He voices in a partial tease, walking towards you. He can tell you want to run to him. To crawl into his arms and lap and collapse there forever, but the dull throbbing between your legs is stopping you. “I would ask if you missed me but, somehow I get the feeling you did.” 

You let out a soft, sniffly whine as Javier sits in the bed next to you. He turns his body to face you a little better but keeps distance. You turn your face towards him. Javier cups your cheek in his palm, eyes tracing your features. Your lips are bruised like you’ve been biting on them to keep the noise down and your eyes are wet with tears, red stained in the waterline. His thumb brushes along the thin skin of your lower lip, clicking his teeth at you. 

“Look at you,” He reprimands, his voice tender as he leans in to give you a little relief. You kiss Javier too eagerly, impatient and lacking your usual timidness. It’s how he knows how far you’ve fallen. How simple and easy your reactions are. “You’re going to hurt yourself pushing so desperately,” He laughs again, a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Does it feel good, at least?” 

“It’s better when you do it,” You admit, falling forward. Javier doesn’t let you drop, but he doesn’t comfort you right away either. He laughs and lets a hand rest on your lower back, relishing in your reaction. You shiver, sensitive and overstimulated with so little at all. 

“I know,” He coos with as much faux-sympathy as he can manage. “Couldn’t wait for me a little longer? I’m hurt.”

“Nooo,” You draw the words out, pitiful and upset “I’m sorry. I missed you,” 

“It’s okay,” Javier says, knowing he wasn’t mad in the first place. Not even a little. “Ahh, what should I do with you now, do you think?” 

It’s hard not to laugh at the immediate noise of disapproval. He’s sure you’d be able to ask him for what you want if he coaxed you into it. One whispered word of tell me what you want, and you’d be begging for his cock with ease. Filthy words from such a pretty mouth, he likes the idea. 

But he’s feeling… something. Something on the border of sadistic and loving that has him instead thinking. 

Pretending to think. 

“Maybe you should keep going, hm? You’ll think clearer once you’ve let it out, don’t you think?” 

“I can’t,” You bemoan, pleading with him. “I’m trying but it’s—it’s not enough, Javier, please.” 

He shakes his head. “Oh, man. What am I gonna do with you? Should I help you, mi amor?” 

You nod your head rapidly. As if he’d ever leave you out to dry when you look all pretty helpless. He doesn’t mention it to you. “Please,” 

“Yeah? I’ll help you then.” He offers, taking your hand and guiding you to his lap with his legs stretched out. He sits you over his thighs, glancing back at his jacket and pillow, brows raised when he sees how sticky they both are. Your habit of drooling and your cunt soaking his pillow case, he laughs just a little seeing the state of them. You must notice because you hit his shoulders weakly. “So needy,” 

“Javier.” 

“Alright, alright,” He laughs again, kissing your cheek as he brings you to him. You frown but comply with his handling of you, strong hands pulling you over his thigh. He sits you down until your bare cunt is pressed against the clothed muscle. It dawns on you what he’s doing as he’s doing it, a noisy little whimper sounding as Javier pulls you close. Close enough to wrap your arms around his neck. He puts a hand on the back of your head, encouraging you to bury his face into the space of his shoulder. He can feel the relief in you when you do, slumping into him a second time today. “You have to move on your own, you know? I won’t help you.” 

“You’re being awful,” You say with no real malice or bite. 

“I’m a little hurt, that’s all. And I’m helping you aren’t I? Is that not what you want?” 

You groan against the skin of his neck. “I want your…ngh,” 

He hums against you, decides to be merciful since he’s teased you plenty and he’s going to tease you more. 

“Wanna feel me right here, don’t you?” He puts a hand between your bodies, pressing the back of his hand into your stomach. “I know, I know. But I want you to cum like this first.”

“Can’t do it by myself,” You sniffle. Don’t even try to push back, so obedient and willing. Javier hums sympathetically. 

“I’m here right? I’ll help you, mi vida. I’m not that mean, am I?” 

You shake your head no. He most definitely is, but maybe he can keep that a secret from you a little longer. 

“Here,” He says. Javier pulls your chemise up until it’s pooling at your waist. Strong, tan hands hold at your hips, squeezing the soft skin with a warm sigh. You keen immediately. He pushes his thigh up just slightly to give you the right kind of friction. Hiccuping in his lap, he sets a pace for you to grind yourself on him. A slower back and forth. When you get too wet, too needy - you get sloppy. Sometimes he can give it to you hard and fast but you’re sensitive. Sensitive to the point it’s easy to make you hurt, make yourself hurt if you’re too clumsy. 

You’re always chasing pleasure but you don’t know anything about build-up. For a girl who tends to keep to herself and is always so meticulous - there’s something about seeing you get so sloppy that turns Javier on. When you’re wet and can’t think straight “Not too fast, okay? You’re sensitive, need it slow at first to make it feel good if it’s like this. Did you forget?” 

You nod, then moan hotly against his throat. Javier shivers at the way your tune changes. He can feel you breathe in his scent and relax as he guides your hips. He eventually stops touching you. Lets you take control of the pace just like he shows you. You manage to pace yourself despite how much you want to cum. Javier can feel how pent up you are. The fabric of his slacks going sticky, tacky from cum and arousal. 

You smell nice and soft, like baby powder and something floral. 

Javier’s been hard since he got in the door, but it’s starting to fog his mind up. Feeling your tits press against his chest, feeling your skin against his. Soft and pliant and beautiful. He kisses against your shoulders as you slowly start to build your orgasm up again. Not that it’s hard. 

You pull away from him, briefly - and your face makes his dick twitch. You’re always pretty but you’re especially pretty like this. Drool drips from the corners of your mouth, eyes lidded and barely blinking.

“Javi,” Your words are slurred. Javier laughs but doesn’t clean you up. “Kiss me,” 

“Sure,” He replies, though he’s all too happy to do it. Javier kisses you with tongue. He knows it’s what you want. Your hands curl up at his chest as he brings his own to cup your head and pull you to him. His tongue in your mouth is invasive but precise, knowing all the ways you want him to nip and kiss and suck on your mouth. You whine in complete pleasure, drunk from the sensation and he’s hardly touched you at all. 

He thinks of how he’ll fuck you as he kisses you. He’ll touch you more than he is now and you’ll fuck like lovesick rabbits until sunrise. It’s less something Javier decides and more something he knows. Like once he opens the door to pleasing you like this, it’ll be tough on him to close it again. 

“Javi,” You keep calling his name. It might be the only word you remember. Always seems to be when you get like this. “It feels so good. Feels so good when you touch me,” 

Javier kisses against your bare shoulder and neck, teeth scraping soft against your clavicles. “Mm. You’re doing well. A very good girl today,” 

You shudder at the praise, all the hairs on your neck raising from the drop of it. Javier laughs. You whine his name again but he doesn’t reply. He can feel you more than he can see you. Your body is twitching against his thigh and your muscles are tight where you hug against him. Javier calms you. 

“Gonna cum soon, huh?” 

You nod over and over, but can barely keep your head up to do it. And he laughs, full of fondness and affection as he peppers your face with kisses. He doesn’t have it in him suddenly, to tease you about it any more. He encourages you instead, hand on your hips to give you more friction as you start to grow erratic in your breathing. You pant hard against his ear, like you’re chasing something. Little bunny rabbit, he thinks. Your voice is little more than a croak. 

“Oh,” You moan, loud and helpless and needy as you cling to him. Your hands fisted in the back of his shirt as you cry out his name one more time. A prayer, maybe. Or a curse. Something in between. “Javier, oh,” 

“Shhh, that’s it. Just like that. Good girl. You’re so good to me.” 

You weep into his neck as you cum, your whole body tightening before breaking out into aroused shakes. You’ve completely lost it in front of him. On the brink of insanity with nothing but pleasure filling your empty-head. You hump against him thoughtlessly as you ride out your high, then finally lean against him when you’ve managed to reach the end of it. You don’t move. Javier can feel how big the wet patch of his pants has grown and tries not to laugh. 

You’re only barely coherent when you’ve finally pulled away. Your pupils are blown out and your face is flushed, sweat making your hair stick to your skin in the places it’s not tucked away. Javier laughs at the state you’re in, brushing his thumb along your cheek just beneath your eyes. 

“Are you with me still, do you think?” 

You nod, seemingly exhausted. He laughs again and kisses your temple. 

“Want you,” You say, despite your state. His eyes widen again at how soon after you’re asking him. He was planning on taking his time, but that plan might just be out of the race. He’s not above you begging him so sweetly. “Please, Javi. Need you, need you so bad.” 

You sound like you’re about to cry. He speaks in soft murmurs. “I thought you’d be too tired to keep going right away.” 

“No,” You mumble and shake your head. “Please. Please, want you so bad.” 

“You’re exhausted, mi vida.” 

“Please,” 

He chuckles. “Okay. Okay, don’t cry. Whatever you want, remember. Unbutton my shirt for me, mi amor.” 

You sniffle, your hands shaking as you fulfill his request. You’re exceptional at listening. Javier smiles at you, your eyes meeting as you do. You flush and pout, only barely managing to maintain his gaze without looking away. You unbutton his shirt dutifully. He puts a hand on your arm and rubs it soothingly. “You must’ve missed me a lot, huh.” 

You nod. “It’s bad, you know? Two days shouldn’t feel so long. It didn’t use too.” 

“Just means we love each other,” Javier assures, a safe place for you to express your neediness. “That’s nothing bad,” 

You nod, pressing your forehead to his. “That’s true,” 

“See? And it’s nice you know. Having someone miss me. Wait for me. Makes me want to come home instead of, I don’t know.” He feels his throat tighten at the sincerity but pushes through anyway “Dying for the cause. Or even just because.” 

It’s the first time you’ve smiled all day and god. Might be the only thing that’s ever mattered. Above all forms of love prior and past. Above revolution. Above god. Just you. You smile, happy and elated and keep unbuttoning his shirt with a coquettish-ness to you. Comfortable and safe. 

You help Javier out of his shirt, and wait for his approval to go after his pants. Undoing the buttons, you free his cock from the confines with a soft gasp. Javier laughs at the reaction, cat-like grin on his features. 

“Nothing you haven’t seen before.”  

“It’s so big,” You say, your hand wrapping around it briefly. Javier swears, head against the headboard. 

“Careful,” He warns, laughing thickly. “I’m pretty pent up too,” 

“Want it inside me,” You say so easily it startles him. You blink up at him through your lashes, too pretty for your own good. “Please?” 

“Should open you up a little.” 

“Want it to hurt,” You reply instantly. Javier feels his breath hitch. 

“Oh, fuck.” He breathes, trying to keep himself from cumming in your hands. “We’ll go slow.”

You nod quickly, not wanting to wait any longer. Javier curses himself for not being more polite. 

He guides your arms around his neck, his own arm around your waist as he lays you down on your back. You look up at him, surprised by his handling of you but not upset by it all. You mumble something he doesn’t catch, but it sounds pleased. 

Javier finds that he’s fond of missionary. He didn’t think he was the type, but there’s something about seeing you laid on your back that he likes. Likes being able to look at you and be close to you, to whisper sweet nothings in your ear as you curl into him. He lays you down gently on his spine, laughing at the way your legs wrap around his waist the second you’re comfortable. His hands go up under your knees but don’t push you too far. You spread your legs for him naturally, eyes fluttering with exhaustion and leftover stupid want. He looks down at you and smiles. 

“One more, okay? Just the one.” 

“I can’t,” You whine “Too sensitive. Just want you to cum on me,” 

“Are you doubting me?” He challenges, only partially. Your eyes widen and he chuckles. “Of course you can. One more,” 

You whimper, suddenly realizing you had no choice in the first place. But you nod, relenting to him like you so often do. Javier kisses you. It means more things that he’s comfortable telling. Means thank you, and that he’s sorry, that he loves you. He kisses you one more time after that, and smiles at how happy you seem because of it.

Finally, when Javier lays you down on the sheets beneath you - it feels like finding religion all over again. The loose material of your chemise has given up on covering you, exposing the soft mound of your chest and hardened nipples. He can see your neck and shoulders and everything else above and below. You’re so beautiful his cock twitches again, hard. 

He sits back up on his knees and takes a deep breath as he lays his cock against your puffy folds. You breathe soft, an aching sound from the back of your throat as you pull your skirt up to give him better access. He laughs gently at that, examining how nearly seven inches measures up to you and feels a little dizzy in the process of it. He’s done this with you so many times now, practically trained your body to take him without too much trouble. A welcome change from when you could barely fit the tip, too inexperienced to do it but even more determined. 

Even still some part of him worries about it. It’s not enough to stop him though, not nearly. His cock twitches against hard, wanting for you. He looks down at you and sees you stare up, admiring his figure. He laughs. 

“Like the view?” 

You nod. “Mm. Uh-huh.” 

“I’m glad,” He replies, then adds “Deep breath,” 

So you take a deep breath, and Javier pushes the tip of his cock into you with a loud grunt. You’re so soft. Wet, and pliant and soft around the swollen head of his cock, he can’t help but shudder with relief and desire. Can’t help but grit his teeth and grip onto your hips to steady himself. 

You breathe like the air has been punched out of your lungs, saying his name dreamily. “Oh, Javi,” 

He swears under his breath, something incoherent as he pushes the tip push into you evenly. It’s not easy. The resistance is there, but you don’t whine in pain right way - so it means it’s not too hard on you. Perhaps loosened by the previous orgasm, or simply so needy that it doesn’t bug you. Still, Javier makes sure to keep himself tight. He rocks, back and forth, ignoring the agony of that sensation to keep him from thrusting up into your soft, welcoming cunt. If he listened to what he wanted, he can’t be confident it wouldn’t make you ache. He already knows you will with this much. 

It takes a few minutes, and some whimpering from you before he finally manages to bottom out. 

You feel good. God, you feel good. 

He can’t imagine heaven, but he thinks being inside of you might be close enough. There’s certainly all the makings of religion when he makes love to you. You, a soft and loving deity, and him - a man laden with sin who longs to be saved. It makes sense to compare you that way. And it feels just as euphoric as the always described, being wrapped in you. Being part of your completion. What's religion without worshippers, anyway? 

Javier groans as he bottoms out inside of. When he manages to peel his eyes open and look at you, you’re debauched. He’s debased you this completely and he doesn’t know if you can even tell. He laughs, leaning down to kiss your neck and run pecks against your jaw. 

“Feel good?” 

“Feels so good,” You moan, then hold him tighter. “I love you. Love you Javier,” 

“Me too, mi amor. Para siempre. ” He hums, kissing your forehead before looking at you. “Can I move?” 

“Please,” 

“Touch yourself for me,” He tells you patiently. “Make yourself feel good.” 

You nod, dazed - a hand between your bodies as Javier sets a pace to fuck you. He knows you in and out. At least well enough to know exactly the ways to make you feel good. Only a few thrusts for him to find the perfect pace, perfect rhythm, perfect spot. You make a noise like a songbird, deep in the back of your throat and Javier can feel you pulse around him in pleasure. 

You stay like that, with him. Javier fucks you to his hearts content in deep, long thrusts - angled against the softest parts of you and wanting to make you feel good. He whispers sweet nothings as your nails dig into the muscle of his back. You feel good for him. You are good for him, wet and perfect. It takes all of his strength to fuck you consistently, the bed rocking underneath you both as he gives it to you hard. 

“I’m close,” You whimper, not seeming to believe yourself despite. “I’m so close, oh god, Javier.” 

“That’s it,” He whispers, chuckling against your skin “One more. Just one more and I’ll give it to you.” 

It’s the promise of his cum that drives you over the edge. You gasp and groan, shuddering as Javier pounds you through your second orgasms. He groans as he feels your pussy spasm and tighten around him, practically begging him to put it inside. He’s nearly lost his sense enough to do it, unhelped by the way your sweet voice begs him for it. He practically has to pry himself away from you, out of you to keep himself from cumming inside as deep as he can possibly go. 

He manages, barely, to stave off his own orgasm. Long enough pull himself out of you with a broken gasp and cum outside of you. Making a mess of your stomach and your soft, swollen cunt with his seed. He paints you in thick ropes of whites as he swears loud in the process, euphoria rumbling through him uninterrupted. 

“Fuck,” He moans, finally getting to the end of it. A little embarrassed by how much of a mess he’s made right along with you. “You do something crazy to me, you know that?” 

You stare at him, bleary eyed and giggly despite your exhaustion. “I know. Me too. I missed you,” 

He laughs, and can’t find the words to say anything but the same back. Of course Javier is a worse man when you’re around. 

Any man loved this much is bound to be a little ruined. 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆

#javier escuella x reader #javier escuella smut #rdr2 x reader #rdr2 smut #red dead redemption 2 x reader #red dead redemption 2 smut #rogues love letters

[imightgetbetter]

heart and soul

please be very kind with this one. i've been watching so many interviews where matty talks about mental health and i had a bit of a rough go myself today and i just thought about how this would go, and so, here we are. i hope you're taking care of yourself today.

Gentle fingers dance along your back, kneading into your skin every so often as you sink into his warmth, your fingers tracing over the tattoo inked across his chest. His lips are tucked into your hair, and the air is still, eerily quiet for a night when you’re home and haven’t had much to do. Usually, you would be in the kitchen, a playlist on the speaker and one of you cooking dinner, a bottle of your favorite wine cracked open to share. Nights like those, they were much more than nights like these, but at this moment, you genuinely wished you had the energy to be downstairs.

“Are you hungry?” Matty asks quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. He lifts his head slightly to look at you, nodding to himself when you shake your head. “Have you eaten at all today, darling? You have to eat. I need you to eat.”

“Not hungry,” you murmur, pulling the blanket over your shoulder and tucking yourself further into hiding. His other hand is dragging along your arm, rubbing over your skin gently. “You can go eat if you’re hungry.”

“Not going without you, darling. Think that you know me better than that by now.”

He’s right, you do know him better than that. Matty has always reacted the same on days like this, days where your anxiety is more than anyone should bear, and you can’t physically get yourself out of bed. In your younger years, Matty would come over and spend the day in your room with you, distracting you with stories of band rehearsal and writing and how he couldn’t wait for the day your stories about him could be read by him. He always argued that you heard songs much too soon, but he couldn’t read your writing. He never meant it maliciously, and the excitement you could see behind his eyes always kept you writing. In the years you lived thousands of miles apart, there would be a text every morning, ‘Good? Bad?’ He would nervously wait for your reply, waiting to see if he would be clinging to his phone all day or would give you space to get your work done. And in the last several years, where you two were rarely apart, he’s learned exactly what you crave on days like this, the way to break you out of it.

“Going to take a shower when this episode is done. Okay?”

Knowing that it’s not a question, you nod quietly, swallowing thickly and trying to work up the courage to speak, to say anything. Your voice feels heavy against your throat, like if you utter the tiniest word, you’ll become sick. “Okay.”

“I missed you all day,” Matty hums, turning his phone upside down and ignoring the call coming through. He couldn’t imagine anything that would matter as much as this, right now, as getting you on your feet and moving around. He wouldn’t ever turn away from you in a moment like this, not when you have seen him at his very worst, not when you’ve held his hand through the darkest moments of his life. He is your best friend, your partner, and he would never act as anything less than such. “Got a good writing session in. I did steal that line you wrote, by the way.”

“I want writing credit, Matthew,” you say, squeezing his hip and tilting your face slightly to give him the tiniest of smiles. “Can you tell me which line you stole?”

“Ah, a smile. That beautiful fucking smile of yours. I’m so in love with you. I need to see you smile every single day for the rest of my life. I can feel your smiles in the deepest parts of my heart. It’s like a breath of fresh air.”

“Matty,” you say, hiding your face in his chest and sucking a deep breath. His body smells like it always does, like home, like your person. Around you, the room is quiet, the television going quiet as the episode ends. “The episode is done.”

Matty brushes a stray strand of hair away from your forehead. “Are you ready to get out of bed for a bit?”

“Are you coming with me?”

“I would like to,” he says, cupping your cheek softly. His touch is so sweet, always so gentle. He always knows exactly what you need, exactly how to approach you. He’s always known, from the first moment you became friends all those years ago. He’s so familiar, and safe. “I’d also like to kiss you, if that’s okay.”

And with that, you understand what he means now, when he says that he feels your smile in the deepest parts of his heart, because hearing him say that, hearing him ask such a simple question but a question that you know is rooted in his care and affection for you, makes your heart feel so warm, and you feel it everywhere. His love is in your heart, where your chest feels tight and swollen. His love is in your cheeks, where your skin feels hot. His love is in your hands, where your skin feels electric every time you touch him. His love is in your brain, where you never feel like a weight to carry. His love is everywhere inside of you.

Nodding silently, Matty sits upright and grabs your cheeks, kissing you delicately, as though the slightest touch with cause you to break. Although sometimes it feels that way, that you might break, there has never been a moment where you would feel broken with him. With Matty, you’re you, all of you, no matter what that looks like.

“I can feel your kiss in the deepest parts of my heart and soul,” you repeat to him, leaning your forehead against his, your hands holding his wrists on your face. You don’t want him to let go, to move. There’s warmth between you, between the intimacy of the moment. “I can feel your love everywhere, no matter how I’m feeling.”

“That’s the line,” Matty smiles, rubbing his thumbs along your cheeks, and you realize what you’ve said, the line that he stole. “I can feel your love everywhere, darling. No matter where I am, what I’m feeling, or who I’m with. I can feel your love everywhere.”

#matty healy #matty healy fic #the 1975 #the 1975 fic #love it if we made it series

[teewritessmth]

~~Meeting your dad for the first time~~

Kenny x f! reader

Summary : You want Kenny to meet your dad, but do they get along?

Warnings : slight use of a gun metaphor, no mother figure

You lived with your dad, your mum having parted ways with the both of you many many years ago. You two barely missed her, so she isn't really worth mentioning now, is she?

Your dad knew you were seeing somebody and was over the moon to find out that his little girl was finally settling. Even though a part of him hurt realizing how quickly you grew up in front of his eyes.

But he is your father after all, seeing your beaming smile everyday was more than enough to realize you were with a good man.

So naturally he wanted to meet your boyfriend of over 4 years, Kenny.

.

.

.

"He wanted to meet me? " Kenny furrows his eyebrows looking at you in confusion.

"Well mostly I suggested that you two get to know each other, since I already met your family". You smile at him.

"I mean I'm not opposed to the idea but will he like me? Dad's are usually ferocious when their daughter starts dating someone".

"No way, my dad is not like that". You huff, determined to make a good impression of your father. "Let's just meet up at one of dad's restaurants so we can have a good chat with each other. I'm a hundred percent sure he's gonna love you".

"And I'm a hundred percent sure he's gonna shoot me right through the skull". Kenny sighs. "But I'm willing to do that for our future".

His words almost make you tear up, so to hide that you reach over and kiss him gently.

"I love you Ken".

"I love you my darling".

.

.

.

You dad sat opposite to Kenny, he could say that the younger guy was nervous, but held immense amount of love for his daughter.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Y/l/n". Kenny smiled.

"Lovely to meet you too, my son". Your dad returned the smile and patted Kenny on the back. He could feel Kenny visibly relaxing and slowly engaging in to conversation with him.

You on the other hand were overjoyed to see the two most important men in your life get along. You felt so proud of Kenny and so much love for your dad who had accepted Kenny wholeheartedly. It could've easily been one of the happiest days of your life.

"Excuse me for a bit guys, I need to use the restroom". You excuse yourself from your dad and Kenny and head to the stalls to freshen up your makeup.

Kenny seizes this chance to talk to your dad one to one.

"I have something to tell you". Kenny looks at the man in front of him with hopeful eyes, hoping that he would react in a positive way.

"Oh, well what is it?". Your dad rests his arms on the table, realizing that this might be a private conversation.

"Sir, I have known Y/n ever since she was 12 years old. She is an amazing human being and has been there for me during our friendship days and when we were in love. I can hardly imagine my life without her in it. She makes everything better, and I hope you would give me your blessings to marry her and make her my wife". Kenny let's out a breath and anticipates for an answer.

Your dad remains silent, eyes glued to the table.

Kenny could hear his heart jump to his stomach, suddenly he felt like throwing up.

"I-I am so sorry, I shouldn't have asked that from you so early"-

Kenny cut himself off when your dad flashed him a happy smile.

"How could I ever say no to that question, You're a good man I'm sure, my Y/n saw the best in you and she loves you. Who am I to stop two people that love each other get married. You have my blessings, Always and forever".

Kenny laughs and your dad claps his back, the two men hug each other as they realize they would soon be related.

You come from the restroom to find the mood of the room a lot better than you last saw it.

"You two must have cleared some stuff out, look at you two beaming with joy!!".

Kenny and your dad wink at each other, relishing in your confused expression and laughing the night away reminiscing about the past. You sat there confused still, but so happy to know that Your man had finally befriended your 'beast' of a dad.

#niko omilana #sharky #betasquad #chunkz #king kenny #betasquad x reader #uk youtubers #ajshabeel #niko omilana x reader #sharky x reader #king kenny x reader #king kenny smut #ajshabeel x reader #chunkz x reader

[betterfettered]

Hey, I hope you’re doing well!

I noticed in your post about the brothers’ first red flag that you mentioned that Lucifer’s darling would still have been going to school at the time, but (both in that post and others) you have also mentioned kidnapping and some of the brothers wanting to keep their darling inside all day, which made me wonder about what darling’s schedule is supposed to be for each of them?

Like, do they allow darling out to attend their classes, or do they hold them captive at home all day? Do they have any regular outings/events that their yan brings them along for? Are there things their darling is expected to do while they’re at home (whether the yan is there too or not), or do they sort of just wait around for their yan to tell them what to do?

I live! I love this question anon, it really had me thinking deeply about what I've written before 🧐

(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere, please let me know if reader is gendered)(noncon)(violence against reader)(kidnapping)(18+ readers only please, mdni)(Please let me know if I am missing a TW)[This is fetish content and rape and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]

Yandere!Lucifer is not likely to keep you captive. Even though what he really craves is complete control over you, he wants it to mold you into his ideal member of society. He wants you to be a good and obedient student, to be polite to Diavolo and Barbatos, to be temperate and well mannered in public, and most of all to listen to everything that he says. Keeping you locked away is unnecessary if you are behaving as he wants you to. I can imagine that on days when he's feeling particularly needy and doesn't want to bother with you hiding or making excuses or running one of the eight times he wants to fuck you that day, he might just chain you up in the basement for a little while until he is watching cum stream out of your bruised body and feels satisfied with how much he's ruined you.

Yandere!Mammon is also not likely to kidnap you, cause he's not smart enough to actually fool you into a situation where you're vulnerable enough to be held captive without you realizing it he would feel too bad about your obvious distress and could be talked out of it if you buttered him up enough. He would be okay with you going to school, but you need to be glued to his side the entire time. You need to hold his hand as you walk to school, you need to let him shove his tongue down your throat in the hallways when you run into each other, you have to sit on his lap and cockwarm him in the library when you two are both studying (though usually he gets impatient with that and tries to fuck you). If he's thinking about locking you up you'll be able to see it coming from a mile away, and you'll just need to reassure him you only have eyes for him to kick the can a few months down the road.

Yandere!Leviathan is absolutely going to kidnap you. He doesn't like to leave his room anyway and his self esteem is not good enough for him to believe that you don't start thinking about being with other people as soon as he isn't demanding your attention. Once you're in his room, he's the only person there, so by default he's the hottest, funniest, nicest, most interesting and, of course, the most fuckable. He has you mixed up in his mind with the overly horny girls who resemble you in the hentai he watches constantly, so he thinks if he's the only other person there eventually your lust will get the best of you and you'll be all over him. That's why even when he forces himself on you, he knows that it's okay because he's helping to satisfy your needs. You'd probably go crazy, he thinks, if he doesn't cum in you at least once a day, so he doesn't feel bad even when you cry. You're just getting used to it.

He's not going to bring you to anything outside of the room and will feel betrayed if you ask him to. When he's not there, he expects you to read manga or books or watch anime that he assigns to you. Sometimes they'll be perverted, but a lot of the time it'll just be things that he is obsessed with like TSL. That way you won't get bored and you can talk to him about it when he gets back. You can also cuddle and watch them together, which is almost his favorite thing to do with you.

Yandere!Satan will also eventually end up kidnapping you. He wants complete control of you similarly to how Lucifer does, but he doesn't particularly care about societal norms or etiquette. The important things for you to understand are how best to respect him and when to shut up, and he can teach you those things himself with his hands, a belt, and a switch. You going to school is a waste of your time because there is nothing about your life that will require a degree and a waste of his time because classes and school schedules get in the way of him studying you. He'll go to school if Lucifer makes him, but most of the time he wants to sit alone with you in his room, ordering you around. Sometimes he'll ask for ridiculous things or impossible things just to see how you react, and sometimes he'll pretend that he's asking you for things to see how you'll react so he doesn't have to admit that he is getting off on it. But you'll be able to tell -- when he asks you to sit on his lap so he can finger you, for example, you'll be able to see the hunger in his eyes as he watches your expression and know that soon enough he's going to pin you down and fuck you.

He'd bring you outside or to special events if you have been well behaved and you ask him nicely, perhaps with an explanation for why it would be beneficial for you to go. While he's away, he doesn't mind if you read books, practice your magic, or even open the window a little for some fresh air. He thinks you have the appropriate judgment to know what things are off limits - if you don't, the punishment you get will leave your skin so raw that you won't ever forget.

Yandere!Asmodeus is definitely not going to kidnap you, because he's way too delusional to think that you don't want to be with him whenever you have the ability to. Whenever he gets his hands on you, he says that he knows you missed him and you must have been so dejected without him. If you play your cards right, you definitely could spend enough time around him that you are satisfying his narcissistic view of you and making him feel like the most important person in your life, and all you'd need to worry about is being subjected to his constant lust. If you did not, however, he'd start paying attention to who you are actually spending time with when you're not with him and carefully orchestrate a plan to seriously hurt them (most likely psychologically rather than physically). Next he sees you, he'll point out how much it is your fault until you seem completely inconsolable, at which point he'll definitely "comfort" you as he sees fit.

It's only a matter of time before Yandere!Beel kidnaps you to "keep you safe", which I've talked about before. It would bother him that it upsets you, but he would still know that it's the right choice. He holds out a lot of delusion hope that soon you'll understand why he is doing this, which is the only thing that keeps him from feeling guilty enough to let you go. In the meantime, he'll bring you plenty of food to eat and lovingly feed it to you whether you want to eat it or not. Eating always helps! Most of the time he'll be as nice as possible to you and try not to force too much physical affection on you, but he has no self-control once his desire gets too strong, at which point he has no regard for your willingness or comfort. He'll fuck you roughly even though his cock is a little too big to fit without hurting you, grope and manhandle you hard enough to leave you sore for days and bite you to the point of drawing blood. Usually it starts with him convincing himself that he's just going to give you head, but the taste of your cum drives him into a bit of a frenzy. Afterwards he'd be sorry and try to help soothe you as much as you'll let him, but the both of you know it'll happen again.

He'll let you out if you can convince him that it will be safe and allow him to accompany you, and he doesn't have any expectations for what you do on your own when he's not there. He's the most permissive of the bros who would kidnap you, and might even let you have your cellphone or keep you locked in your own room instead of his. If you made him really jealous, only Belphie would be able to visit, but otherwise he might allow you to have supervised play dates with the other brothers. The more you abuse his trust, though, he less permissive he will be because you are jeopardizing your own safety.

Yandere!Belphie is sooo 50/50. On the one hand, kidnapping and keeping you from escaping is a lot of work and it makes him sleepy just to think about it. On the other, he does have a jealousy streak and is sick of the way you just give your attention to anyone who asks for it. In the end I think what would decide whether or not you get kidnapped is whether you manage to play his games without pissing him off. You sleeping in his bed nightly and letting him have his way with you or babying him during the day and enabling him to be lazy is not going to be enough to prove that he is really special to you. Instead, he wants you to accept the strange behavior that you bring out of him. If he lashes out at you and asks you why you're such a whore because you were studying with Satan, you should actually answer with a reason and then promise to be less of a whore in the future. As his obsession progresses, he will start to ask for more and more unreasonable things to make you prove your loyalty because in the end it is very hard for him to trust that you love him the way that he loves you.

Once he finally asks for something you can't comply with, it's likely that he will lock you in the attic to punish you. He'll be pretty cruel, starving you and not giving you water, blindfolding you and then releasing giant black rats into the room so you don't know if you're going to be bitten or attacked, and then also just plain hitting you. If you want him to stop or to bring you food or water, you'll have to suck him off first (and of course let him finish on your face or head) or ride him. If you do so, he'll stop whichever punishment he's subjecting you to and be affectionate and kind to you and let you sleep in the bed with him instead of on the floor. Once you're not reluctant to put out and you return the affection and apologize as many times as he feels like you need to, he'll let you go from your captivity.

Always feel free to send more asks :3

#yandere #yandere x reader #betty fetty #satan x reader #lucifer x reader #obey me belphegor #obey me belphie #yandere belphegor #yandere belphie #belphegor x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #tw abuse #mammon x reader #leviathan x reader #beelzebub x reader #yandere lucifer #yandere mammon #yandere leviathan #yandere satan #yandere asmodeus #tw noncon #cw noncon #tw: noncon #yandere smut

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

4k fic recommendations

thank you all so so much for 4000 followers! truly, that's wild! unfortunately I don't have the time right now to do the usual fun, big celebration, but I do have time to scrounge up some fics I've been loving lately/just ones that are on my mind, show them a little bit of love. other then that, I hope you all are having a wonderful morning, afternoon or night, sending you all a bunch of smooches in the form of recommending some fun reads ♡

the bodyguard by @chvoswxtch (bodyguard!frank castle x reader, series, still ongoing)

I love this series. every time a new part comes out I genuinely get so excited! I also low-key feel so spoiled because I know court and she tells me a bunch of secrets about things she wants to play with in this story... love you court. thank you for blessing us with this amazing AU.

why are you scared? by @onsunnyside (stepbrother!curtis everett x innocent!reader)

yes, this was a halloween fic but I still think about it to this day. I only have one question for you, do you like somno? are you a little somno hoe? if so, might I recommend this nasty little piece of fiction because DAMN! like all of sonny's works, this is just the purest of filth and we love that here. (also her life has been pretty busy lately, so I just hope she's okay. hope you're okay, darling. miss seeing your beautiful little stories on this mess of a website)

your head is so numb (that nervous breath you try to hide) by @oncasette (eddie munson x reader)

best friends to lovers is actually something that can be so personal. I gobble that shit up every time. (also just hey roma. get over here, let me give you a lil smooch♡)

reader being like a little crow blurb by @appocalipse (eddie munson x reader)

idk what to tell you, this is actually just the cutest ♡

this blurb by @solarluvs (peter parker x clumsy!reader)

PETER AND CLUMSY!READER! THIS IS THE KIND OF ROMCOM I NEED IN MY LIFE!!!!

sirius doesn't want you to leave for work by @bruisedboys (sirius black x reader)

in this house, we worship adorable little domestic tales like this.

this blurb by @ddejavvu (eddie brock x reader)

and speaking of domestic little tales, no one does it better then my wifey mei. she is the queen of adorable little blurbs. so if you like pretty dresses, chocolate or monsters flirting with you, this blurb is for you ♡

this blurb by @ddejavvu (aaron hotchner x bau!reader)

okay, even though I'm not really an aaron girlie, this one was just too cute to pass up. also, maybe a little bit too relatable going grocery shopping while looking like an actual zombie. I remember the time when I lived somewhere where I bump into my crush on those kinda days... it is mortifying, but the kind of mortifying that you're secretly crossing your fingers to have happen, you know?

#lea speaks #milestone celebration #frank castle x reader #eddie munson x reader #frank castle smut #curtis everett x reader #chris evans x reader #curtis everett smut #eddie brock x reader #venom x reader #peter parker x reader #tasm!peter parker x reader #mcu!peter parker x reader #sirius black x reader #fic rec #fic recommendation #fic recommendations #fic recs #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x fem!reader

[marc-spectorr]

!!!! CONGRATS REACHING 500 !!!

How about prompt 2 with Steven 👀

A lil brain rot imagine it's a plushie or something of an Egyptian god that reminds him of you ajgjsjgj

ˣ pairing: steven grant x reader

ˣ prompt: “i bought this because i thought you’d like it”

ˣ warnings: 1.2k wc, fluff galoreee

ˣ a/n: sorry for the delay in posting these! technical problems suck lol. i really love this prompt though and i think it’s one of my favorites to write! hope you enjoy it :)

Every day, you wonder if it's possible to fall in love with Steven more than you already have.

It brims ceaselessly inside you, this fondness and warmth that only he could give you—that only he could ever make you feel. Your heart utterly swells with overwhelming adoration for him; it's nearly an inconceivable notion that there could be room for so much more.

But when it comes to Steven, he's always full of surprises. Always keeping you on your toes, always leaving you in wondrous amazement.

A tender glance your way, and your insides flutter with tremendous glee. It's as if there are millions of butterflies fluttering in your stomach, tickling your skin, making you smile and smile and smile…

And it's quite a bright smile that paints your delicate lips following the hearty chuckle Steven releases into the cool summer air.

You catch yourself staring at him helplessly, seeing how his chocolate irises light up like the starry night sky as the gentle cast of the moonlight dances over his features.

It's all too beautiful— he is too beautiful. Too perfect and breathtaking. All yours to hold onto dearly.

There's something about him that never fails to charm you. Whether it be his wit, his sense of humor, or his sass. The way he's sweet and kind to you, regards you as the sun of his universe. The list of endearing traits you've gathered throughout the three years is almost endless.

You find him fascinating, a work of art to admire in silent awe. Every part of him delights you, from the dazzling sparkle in his brown eyes to the delicate curve of his upper lip. Then there's the melodious tune to his laugh that allows a lightness to bloom in your chest.

You drown in his loving gaze as it melts into you. Its pure softness has you thanking the billions and trillions of heavenly stars above and the vast cosmos beyond for bringing Steven to you.

"Love, do I have something on my face?" He asks you, reeling you back to the dreamy reality that is yours.

The park around you is simply animated this evening. Full of energy and life, with live musicians busking to earn a coin or two, children skipping happily on the grassy knolls. You and Steven settle on your favorite spot— the flowing water fountain at the very center of it all.

A light giggle, then a quiet hum. You shake your head at Steven as he blindly wipes his undirtied chin with one hand, the other holding firm onto a half-eaten burrito. "No, you're alright, Steven. I was just stuck in my head, lost in my thoughts. But, uhh… what were we talking about again?"

He smiles adoringly at you, those darling doe eyes drinking in each and every detail of you. He looks at you as if you're the only one worth his glance— the only one worthy of his full attention. "We were talking about our day, dearie, and you left off at the part where you're telling me the most amazing lunch you've ever had."

"Oh, right, yes! We should really try that restaurant one of these days, babe. They have tons of yummy vegan options. Plus, word on the street is that this place has the best stuffed mushrooms in London. I already know that you're going to love it!"

"Aw, we should have ditched the burritos and gone there tonight instead," Steven pouts, taking another bite out of his food while you scarf down the last bit of yours.

"It's okay; there's always next time. Besides, Monday is burrito night anyway. Wouldn't miss this for the world," you reply with a slight shrug of your shoulders.

It's the truth. Burrito Monday is something you and Steven came up with one day and started doing every week. Once his shift at the gift shop ended, he'd go to the deli a few blocks away and pick up two delicious burritos before heading to your office. From there, the two of you would walk to the park, where you'd sit and enjoy your meal in each other's company.

A silly little tradition, but it is yours and Steven's. A memory to share, remembrance to look back on— one of many that you would forever cherish with him.

"Alright, enough about me. How was your day?" you query, waiting with a gentle smile as Steven finishes his meal.

"It was actually great! I caught the bus on time, which meant one less thing for Donna to chew me out for. Sold a bunch of candies and souvenirs. I even got to explain the Ennead to a curious kid, and I'm pretty sure he liked hearing what I had to say."

"Of course, he liked it! You're always so passionate about these things, and it's just wonderful getting to hear you talk about them, truly."

A slight flush creeps across Steven's face, and he clears his throat. "Thank you, darling. That honestly means a lot to me. Oh, I absolutely love you, you know that?. I love you, and— shoot! Speaking of gods, before I forget, I've got you a gift."

Steven takes a second to open up his messenger bag, his body teeming with excitement as he fishes out a small plush toy. He holds it out to you, his cheery smile reaching his wide, beaming eyes that grow even brighter when you realize what it was.

"Is this Tawaret?" you speak, enthused as he gives you the stuffed gray hippo with an eager nod. "She's so adorable, Steven!"

"I was doing inventory when I came across our new shipment of Tawaret plushies. It reminded me of when I told you of her story the day we first met," he reveals, still grinning. "I bought this because I thought you'd like it."

It seems absurd to others passing by, but you feel the tears beginning to well up in your eyes. "Gosh, Steven. This is lovely of you to get me. I-I know it's a toy, but if it weren't for you talking about Tawaret, we wouldn't even be here right now. Wow, I sound so cheesy, huh?"

Steven's smile softens, his fingertips rising to caress your cheek. His hand remains stroking at your skin as you lean into his tender touch. "It's not cheesy at all, darling. It's our story."

"Now you sound cheesy yourself," you jokingly return, shifting your head to press your lips to the palm of Steven's hand. "But, thank you, Steven. I love my new Tawaret stuffie, though I think I may love you a teeny bit more."

"A teeny bit more? That's all?" he says, laughing.

"Well, you can kiss me, and maybe I can reconsider—"

Steven doesn't give you the chance to finish that sentence. He'd swoop in, his hand tilting your chin to meet his gaze before claiming your lips in a sweet, honeyed kiss.

It leaves you breathless, dizzy, and high— makes your heart skip a beat, or two, perhaps even three.

You kiss him deeply, and he kisses you back deeper, seemingly forgetting where you are though it doesn’t matter.

All you know is that there's no better feeling than this— being here.

Being with him.

Every day, you wonder if it's possible to fall in love with Steven more than you already have.

Tonight proved to you that it most certainly was.

- ☾-

taglist: @milkiane @dopeqff @liaaacantwrite @raging-trash-of-mind @daydreamingchaos713 @tinysquirrrrelgirl @khonshus-wife @loonymagizoologist @thelaststraw3 @irethepotato @syrma-sensei @mad-malory @allthingsvicf @victoriaarantza @battaltt @juleslovesfics @j-n-h-p @mooonlight-and-stars @xcatnapsx @dailydoseofchoices @izbelross @mrs-holmes @avatar-of-procrastination @darthxochitl @doomsdaybby @jakelcckley @xdarkcreaturex @glitteringhippie @fleurated @eddie-munsons-gf @n0ripeaches @bxmxtx @elaine-spades @mona-has-friends @ghostlyreads

strikethroughs i am unable to tag. let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!

moon knight masterlist

#steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #steven grant #steven grant imagine #steven grant fanfic #steven grant fluff #moon knight x reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockley x reader #oscar isaac x reader #oscar isaac #500 followers celebration

[mosneakers]

[🔉]

Dear Darling Agnes,

I hope this letter finds you in the best of spirits. It has indeed been too long since our last exchange, and I hold our correspondence close to my heart. Your letters have a remarkable way of brightening even the darkest of days.

Though our paths differ in many ways, there's a particular story you shared, of weeping on the floor of your unfinished nursery after Erik's passing, that resonated with me deeply. As you know, Thornton and I have grappled with the heartache of infertility for quite some time, and your tale ignited a glimmer of hope within me. You mentioned your trip to Sunset Valley last Harvestfest, and it warmed my heart to hear you mention that you let little Mortimer be your babysitter of choice for a little while. Even if he did have help from his faithful playmate Bella, it appears that he's blossoming into a fine young man, and I'm sure he adores spending time with his Aunt Agnes and your darling daughters.

I was surprised to hear that Pauline Wan convinced you to accompany her to the Sunset Valley Country Club during your visit here. Had I known, I would've joined. Gossip indeed travels swiftly in such places, and you must have caught wind of the rumors surrounding my marriage. Sadly, they hold true; Thornton's fidelity has been compromised. We attempted to mend the first indiscretion, when a young woman (much too young for him, I dare say!) followed him home after one of his Saturday Afternoon whiskey escapades. Regrettably, it happened once more, this time with a blonde. I stood by the door, concealed in the shadows, and witnessed the entire heart-wrenching act. In that moment, I knew it was the final straw. While I may have retained ownership of this grand mansion as part of our divorce settlement, it feels like a hollow victory. What use is this opulent house when the one thing I've yearned for remains elusive?

But perhaps, dear Agnes, fortune may be favoring me at last. One melancholic afternoon, as I sought solace in painting by the lake, fate led me to an unexpected encounter with a pair of brothers, the Frios. Jared had noticed me first, and asked Connor, a man of few words and a preference for solitude, to strike up a conversation on his behalf. Little did we all anticipate that in the course of our conversation, Connor and I would discover a deep connection, and we began seeing each other shortly after.

He was reluctant at first, but Connor has warmed up to the idea and agreed to move into this vast estate with me, accompanied by his brother Jared. I realize it might seem hasty, Agnes, but my biological clock seems to be ticking ever louder, and I can't afford to let time slip through my fingers. Besides, this sprawling estate can be quite lonely and isolating, so it's comforting to have their company to fill its echoing halls.

I do love him, Agnes. He's a good, faithful man, and an exceptional and rather generous lover, I must admit. He'll make an excellent father too. With this grandiose labyrinth of a home at our disposal, we have all the resources to comfortably raise a child. I must confess, however, I often fantasize of escaping this life of opulence, and living a more modest life and living freely in a simpler town. Maybe one day a house next to yours will go up for sale and I'll leave this all behind. Wouldn't that be a dream?

In any case, Agnes, I long for your presence in my life and sincerely hope you'll visit when you're in town. I do miss you fiercely. How are the darling daughters? Is Gwendolyn making strides in potty-training? Has Persephone said her first word? I treasure our friendship and your inspiring stories. Your resilience and love for Erik and your two daughters give me hope, even in the darkest of times. Please write back soon, my dearest friend, and tell me how your life unfolds. -With all my love, Morgana Wolff

< Previous Next >

#ts4 #ts4 story #sims 4 #Many Moons Ago #Many Moons Ago: Gen 1 #MMA Gen 1: Ch. 15 #Morgana Wolff #Thornton Wolff #Connor Frio #Jared Frio #sensitive subject matter #infertility mentions

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

No Place Like Home

a romantic Doctor Strange one-shot based on this prompt:

rating: general audience

pairing: Stephen Strange x Hope Collins (OFC)

genre: romance, fluff

word count: 2.3k

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Stephen had never expected to be living his best life so soon after the darkness, despair, and psychological devastation of the thousands of years he'd spent searching for the path to victory over Thanos. In the weeks following The Return, he had suffered in silence, believing it was his lot, especially as he could not forget all the lives he couldn't save, which resulted from that catastrophic battle. Only Wong had any clue as to the pain, guilt, and sleeplessness that Stephen endured, and he had tried in every way possible to alleviate it. But it was the unexpected return of the woman that Stephen had fallen in love with over the course of his lonely, agonizing journey, that had wrought the miracle that allowed him a happiness he never could have imagined. By mid-July, she had practically moved into his suite of rooms at the Sanctum, which was the sweetest sort of icing on an already delicious cake.

Of course, it wasn't a perfect life, but it was damn close. In the months since their reunion, Hope had become the most necessary part of his days (and nights), and when his work took him far from the New York Sanctum, Stephen carried a perpetual but somehow pleasant ache in his chest. It was good. Oh, so good. To not only love someone in the depths of his soul, but to know without doubting, that he was deeply and unconditionally loved in return. What more could any man hope for?

He reminded himself of this fact often as the pace of his work began to intrude upon their time together. Hope was patient and understanding, not only because of her love for him, but because it was her nature—and as one of those who'd lived in the aftermath of a world made somber by The Blip, she like so much of humanity, had learned to appreciate every new moment with the loved ones they had believed were lost forever. Still, it bothered Stephen with each missed date, each assignation cut short. And he began to wrack his brain for some solution to the problem, or at least to find a way to treat his woman to something special as a proffer of consolation.

One evening after an especially tiring day—he'd been part of a team sent to exorcise a clutch of demons infesting the Acropolis, that had been playing havoc with tourists and townspeople alike--after which he'd been required at Kamar-Taj for deliberation over assignments for freshly promoted Adepts. Hope could easily see how incredibly exhausted he was. But as Stephen had been determined not to miss another evening in her company, she simply decided to put her foot down.

"Look, you can't keep doing this, darling." He was resting his head against the sofa back, with his eyes closed, while one of her favorite sit-coms streamed on the television. Stephen only grunted, already half asleep. "This burning the candle at both ends. You're burning yourself out..."

"No, I'm fine, sweetheart. I'm just..." he yawned despite trying his best not to,"I'm just resting my eyes."

Hope snuggled a little closer, though she firmly maintained her point. "No. No, you're not. You're exhausted and you know it. And I'm afraid I'm not helping—you should be in bed this very instant."

Though his eyes remained closed, Stephen already knew the stubborn look she wore just from the tone of her voice. He hummed in his throat, and replied with a smirk, "Only if you'll come with me."

Sitting up, she gave an exasperated sigh. "I knew you were going to say that!" Hope laid her hand on his arm, "As much as I appreciate the invitation, I think it's best I spend tonight at my place. You need a full night's rest Stephen. A full night of restorative sleep. And as pleasant as sharing your bed is, we both know it's rarely...restful..."

As physically spent as he felt, Stephen couldn't help but enjoy her inuendo. He sat up to face her squarely. "I promise, for tonight anyway, all I'm gonna do is sleep." He threw in a pout he knew she couldn't resist. "Pleeeeease? I miss spending time with you, and it's not fair to you to have such a part-time boyfriend. So, I'd rather take any time we can get together, even if I'm...unconscious."

"Oh, Stephen, what am I going to do with you?"

Tenderly, he cradled Hope's cheek in his hand, watching her resolve begin to melt . "Let me hold you while I fall asleep," he insisted", And I'm certain I'll get all the rest I need."

True to his expectation, Stephen slept more soundly than he had in weeks. And he dreamt of many things; such uninterrupted REM sleep was rare for him, and his weary mind cycled through much of his recent experiences. Though he couldn't recall all of them upon awakening the next morning, one dream in particular stood out because it featured Hope. They had walked hand in hand through one of the marketplaces adjacent to Kamar-Taj, and she had been enchanted by all the sights and sounds, all the vibrant colors and rich scents and exotic flavors, that Kathmandu had to offer. She had gazed in awe at the snowcapped Himalayas and marveled as he'd pointed out Mt. Everest and shared the story of how The Ancient One had stranded him there in a bid to get him to finally tap into his mystic abilities. In the end, he and Hope had stood eagerly before the main gate to the compound, for he wished to share with her all that was important to him there. But he'd awoken before they'd been able to enter grounds.

Stephen's first impulse was to share the amazing details of his dream with Hope, but he found himself alone and given the time—mid-morning—he guessed she had already headed off to work. A supposition confirmed once he threw on his bathrobe and headed to the smaller of the Sanctum's two kitchens and found she'd left a travel mug filled with hot coffee on the counter, and a note beside it telling him a veggie omelet with a side if bacon was warming in the oven for him. And don't work too hard today, Stephen, she had added. You need to set some limits for yourself so that you don't get burnt out. If I have to, I will speak to Wong about it myself; there's no reason that some other wizard (or two or three) can't pick up the slack so that you can take better care of yourself! Or let me do that for you...

Of course, he ended up back in Kamar-Taj to teach an evening class, on Kathmandu time, and then back in Greenwich Village to oversee the monthly inventory of ancient relics. All the while, the images of that dream remained with him, softening the edges of his work day and making him long all the more for a chance to spend the kind of quality time with Hope, as he had in their dream sojourn to Kathmandu.

Only as he finalized the inventory figures, plugging them into the spreadsheet that one enterprising Adept had created to make the task easier, did Stephen realize there was nothing but taking the initiative of inviting her, keeping his dream from becoming reality. Refreshed as the very thought of sharing that very important piece of his life with her, he zipped off a text asking Hope if she wouldn't mind spending the remainder of the evening with him in the Sanctum. This was something he was looking forward to asking her in person, already sure that her spontaneous, brilliant smile and the twinkle in her remarkably blue eyes, would signal her answer in the affirmative well before she uttered 'yes'.

He had portaled them to an alleyway on the outskirts of the compound as a matter of discretion, but also because he wanted Hope to get a feel for the community and the environs surrounding the sacred grounds of Kamar-Taj. And in keeping with his dramatic nature, Stephen wanted her to experience the full reveal of the place he'd come to love best on earth, and that could only be achieved upon entering the main gate.

As he had expected, Hope was excited about this new adventure, commenting on the colorful market stalls they passed, as well as upon the wealth of green and growing things that marked the humble homes and small gardens wedged between the mish mosh of buildings that had grown up around their destination. "I've never seen such pretty little gardens growing at such close quarters," she exclaimed, "The Nepalese must have true green thumbs!"

"Ah, I was hoping you'd appreciate that," Stephen replied, and then went on to explain, "Because it's really a matter of magic..."

"You mean everyone here practices the mystic arts?"

Hope had slipped her arm through his, which in this place held a magic of its own for him. He laid his free hand atop hers and leaned a little closer, dropping his voice confidentially, "Actually, it's magic in the soil and water and air. Centuries and centuries of residual magic emanating from Kamar-Taj, which these plants have absorbed through their roots. In fact, the flowering & fruit trees and vegetable plants within the compound blossom year-round as a result, and over the years the effect has spread out from Kamar-Taj into the ground of the surrounding neighborhoods. Even those residents who are unaware of what we do here—thinking that we're a monastic order of sorts, dedicated to religious study—understand their bountiful gardens are related to their proximity...and consider themselves blessed to live this close."

"Deciduous trees, however..." he added, feeling the beat of his heart pick up its steady pace with delightful anticipation of Hope's reaction to this place that had healed him in so many ways, "...still experience the vibrant colors of fall before shedding their leaves, but they remain on the branches well into the new year–unless there comes wind and rain of hurricane proportions." With that they stood before the double doors of the intricately carved, two-story gateway. Stephen laid his palm against the thick, aged wood and spoke a single word. Reverently enough that he felt Hope lightly shiver at his side. "Shamballa." They heard a loud creak and then the doors swung open before them, allowing him to usher his woman inside.

Hope inhaled in amazement, but remained silent otherwise, as she took in vision all around her. Masters and students alike walked the clean swept cobblestones toward various buildings, while others lounged about the edges of the courtyard in small clusters of twos and threes. Stephen picked up on the soothing tinkling of chimes beneath the quiet conversations around them and the occasional decorous burst of laughter. Hope had tightened her hold on his arm as he led her forward, his goal an ancient tree of cherry blossoms that held place of pride among all the other growing things. He brought them to a stop just several feet from the low retaining wall that surrounded the tree's base.

"Oh my gosh...oh my gosh, Stephen! It's gorgeous...all of it. Gorgeous. Like something..." Hope did a slow spin, taking in the view all around, "...out of the myth of Shangri-La..."

"Not too far from it," he grinned, drinking in her reaction as though it was his own first time seeing the weathered, venerable buildings along with the verdant gardens and flowering trees, set against the glory of the pristine, snow blanketed mountain tops in the distance, beneath a spotless blue sky. "Kamar-Taj is a quiet gem in the mountains' shadows...a place to seek peace and tranquility for those blessed enough to find the path."

"If this were my home, I doubt I'd want to leave...well, at least for a very long time, anyway."

Stephen nodded. "Yes, for the longest time, it always felt more like home to me, than the New York Sanctum. When I've felt out of sorts or as though I'd lost my connection to the energy that is the basis of all magic, just returning was enough to restore me..."

"Was?" Hope wore a sly little smile, as though she already knew the answer to her simple query.

He took both of her hands, focusing his sight on their twined fingers. "Indeed. But my concept of home has changed considerably since Titan." He stepped into Hope, raising her hands to rest on his shoulders before settling his on her hips. "Home has become more than a place, sweetheart—because home for me, is now wherever you are." She blinked up at him guilelessly, moistening her lips in the prelude to a kiss. A warm, late summer breeze swirled around them, rustling the branches of the majestic cherry blossom tree, sending loosened petals fluttering artfully about them.

Hope's soft giggle enchanted him as, inevitably, petals landed on her dress and in her hair. "And it seems this place means to welcome you, sweetheart. In the prettiest way possible," he mused, reaching to brush the pretty, pink blossoms from her auburn hair.

"Wait," she asked softly, her eyes alight with the love that now sustained him in ways he'd never dared imagine could be his. "Leave them for now, Stephen. Please. I've never been kissed in a place of true magic, and it would be foolish to miss this chance like something out of a fairy tale."

Ever willing to cede to her requests, Stephen cupped her cheeks and drew her close and kissed her long and deep—not giving a second thought to the eyes around them that took note. While thinking that perhaps...someday...if they should marry, there could be no sweeter place on earth to undertake those vows. And promising himself that if there was no breeze that day, he'd be certain to stir enough of one to shower her in petals if it would please her well.

Author's Note:  I'd fully meant to have Stephen be called away to duty—a meeting with Wong & the other Masters, or some such—so that when he returned at dusk, ready to apologize for missing out on their time together, he'd find Hope busy at her own work. Adding the perfect hues of pink and blue (for his robes) to her latest drawing, wherein he stood looking quite amused with petals caught in his jet black hair. In addition to a Blue Morpho butterfly alighting upon his shoulder. But I couldn't quite fit it in without disturbing the romantic ending to this piece. But please do feel free to imagine such a sight for yourselves!

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tagging: @strangelock221b @aeterna-auroral-avenger @darsynia

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#my writing #No Place Like Home #romance #fluff #cherry blossoms #doctor strange x ofc #stephen strange x ofc #Stephen Strange #Hope Collins #Stephen Strange x Hope Collins #Doctor Strange #doctor strange fan fiction #doctor strange fanfiction #stephen strange fan fiction #stephen strange fanfiction #Strangebatch #My Eternal Muse #Benedict Cumberbqatch

[matan4il]

Just sending some love your way again, and thanks so much for the book and music recs!! I've been loving working my way through them 💖💖

Hi darling! I'm so glad you're enjoying those! :D Any bit of joy counts, always, but especially now. I hope you're doing well, and I am sending you so much love right back! xoxox

So glad to hear that you are safe, and that the attack was mostly intercepted. Thank you for all the work you do in giving us news from the Israeli perspective- I'm working on my Hebrew, but it's slow, and I always worry that automated translations miss nuance and context.

Thank you so much! I think a lot of us, knowing that Iran has employed its generals to help its terrorist proxies, and that those generals have been eliminated by Israel repeatedly over the years, we didn't expect an attack of this magnitude from Iran, and that even we were surprised at how well our defences held against it. I'll try to post a bit more about this later. Thank YOU so much for the kind words, and awwww, you're learning Hebrew! :D I have to say, I'm so in love with this language, I'm very happy for anyone who does. I hope you're enjoying it! ^u^ And it's my pleasure to be able to add a few translations. I def do try to bring across the nuance and context that automated traslations can't recognize even exists. Be well, and I'm sending you lots of hugs! xoxox

@missviolethunter asked:

Thank you for posting updates even in the aftermath of the attack. Your blog and a few other Jesiwh blogs are the only places with unbiased information here. I hope you and your family are safe. The terrorist supporters make a lot of noise on tumblr, but they're just a bunch of idiots. My country had issues with terrorism for many years, and I know how it feels to fear for your family members who are in the military. I know it's not much, but I'm sending you hugs. 😘

I really do my best to get everything from fact checked journalistic sources, although obviously it's not perfect (because neither are they, some are expressly biased, while others simply get duped once in a while, same as everyone else. They are run by humans, after all). I'm really glad if I can help in any way, even the smallest!

I am so sorry that your country also had to deal with terrorism. I will never understand how people can think that terrorism, the intentional targeting of innocent people, is EVER justified. It's not about whether a specific cause is just or not. It's about whether we value human life or not. Anyone who can justify terrorism, is saying they're comfortable with being the arbiter of who gets to live and who doesn't, and that is so wrong on so many levels... I am sending you lots of hugs, and I hope you, your people, us and everyone else who has suffered or is suffering from terrorism, never have to fear for their life or that of their loved ones ever again.

It's actually so much, I appreciate the hugs, the message, the kindness, and I am sending you lots of hugs right back! xoxox

#ask #israel #fandom love #kindness #thank you! #<33333 #personal #anon ask #gingerpolyglot #missviolethunter #may we all know peace

[miracledarling]

Hey Renna I hope you're doing well...

I'm sorry if this might come off as trauma dumping but I really just need someone to talk to....

I'm really frustrated with myself since I lack persistence...Like I'll wake up one day and be like I'm gonna manifest my dr but after like a day or two I'll start wavering and eventually I'll go back to my old state. This cycle has been going on ever since I found abt the law.

I was really REALLY behind with my school work (I attend online school), I didn't study for my exams and everything was just piling up...So I decided that I'd just manifest being up to date with all my school and acing my exams despite not studying...Now my school break is over and as you can guess none of these things have manifested...Why? because I persisted for like a day and let my negative thoughts win...Now here I am even more stressed and desperate...

Ik that this is something no blogger can help me with, I've read all your manifesting posts plus other bloggers, I've listen to Edward art and I've read some of Neville's books, I know everything there is to know about the law...But I keep on going back to my old state...I don't even know why I do this to myself tbh cause it SUCKS here, like there's nothing to look forward too, yet I keep on going back to the old state...

Rereading this ask just made me realize how stupid I am... Like I'd rather stress about the 3D then persist in the new state...starting from now on I'm just gonna work on my self concept because my core beliefs abt how life works are still pretty f'd up and I'll stop giving myself stupid deadlines...

I will be back with a success story soon...

This post is kinda all over the place but I hope you understand what I mean...I love your blog btw

hi darling, i am so sorry for the late response(left tumblr for a bit🥲) i hope u can see this answer 💕💕

first you are not stupid honey, its okay to feel stuck. bear with me alright, it will be okay

Like I'll wake up one day and be like I'm gonna manifest my dr but after like a day or two I'll start wavering and eventually I'll go back to my old state.

ik how that feels, but you have to understand that YOU are the only one that can make the change for yourself. break the cycle is the first step, break the cycle or it will loop tomorrow.

getting into a new state is like moving into a new home. it may feel unfamiliar, unnatural, different at first. even uncomfortable. but as you return and accept it, keep living in it, it will feel natural. you will learn to accept it as true. your reality is what you are aware of as a fact. aka assumptions.

you are not the past. you are not the old story. you are not your thoughts. you are not your feelings. you are not your state

what are you being right now? what are you aware of as a fact? what are you assuming as true?

I AM happy, I AM safe, I AM healthy, I AM loved

if there are mistakes, let go of past mistakes. you can revise even. stop clinging onto the past, stop clinging onto the old story. be who you are now.

Ik that this is something no blogger can help me with, I've read all your manifesting posts plus other bloggers, I've listen to Edward art and I've read some of Neville's books, I know everything there is to know about the law...But I keep on going back to my old state...

trust yourself honey. you will help yourself more than any of us can ever. you will thank yourself so much once you start trusting yourself for guidance. asking yourself for clarity

truth is, most of the answers are within us. we have them. everything is here. so you don't need more outside guidance.

yes it can be scary to stop looking for outer confirmation. it might feel like you're doing it wrong, that you're missing out on something helpful. keep trusting yourself to help you.

try your best to resist the urge to go back to the old story. i've once heard someone say: you must get uncomfortable to get comfortable. you may feel discomfort in the new state but focus on the end and the end only. it will all be okay. you don't need to force anything, allow yourself to surrender to imagination and feel the end as true. you don't need to be positive 247, a mental diet is not forcing thoughts to be good. rather, pay attention to your inner world and place your awareness on what matters ⭐️

whenever you feel frustrated, always go back to the END. live in the END in your head. always take care of yourself out there though. stidy if you must, but you are the perfect student in imagination

you are free in imagination. trust your imagination and free yourself in imagination

i don't know much about your circumstances but i just want to let you know that you can get through this. you can do it dear. i know you might have been through a lot but as long as you trust yourself, it will be alright honey. 💕

yes you will be back with a success story soon. and i know you are succeeding. you are successful. you have succeeded

ily and hope i could help you🥹🤍✨

#ask #loa #law of assumption #loassumption #neville goddard

[fullstcp]

Joshua Bassett Singles Sentence Starters

JUST LOVE

"An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind."

"We can't seem to see the way cause everyone's hurting."'

"Tell me, when will we learn it?"

"And what more can I say?"

"What if we just love?"

"Am I asking too much?"

"Too many have lost their lives."

"Too many tears we've cried."

"We couldn't seem to see the light."

"Now you're all by yourself."

"You're crying for help."

"Your walls know too well."

"You've been living in hell."

"Tell me what to do now."

"Don't you get tired when you run for your life?"

"You don't need to this time."

DIFFERENT

"Darling, how I missed you."

"Two years, not even friends."

"I'm trying to kiss you, cause we've seen how this can end."

"My therapist would kill me if she knew that I was here."

"No one knows me like you know."

"No one holds me how you hold me."

"I'm back in your arms, but everything's changed."

"We've been to hell and back again."

"My biggest regret was walking away."

"I'm not gonna make the same mistake."

"I know you're afraid we'll end up the same. And the truth is, we might."

"But if we do this thing right, maybe this time it'll be different."

"I didn't think we'd end up here."

"I didn't think you'd kiss me."

"I'm too in love to care."

"Kiss me slow before I go, my dear."

"Make me yours and I'm not leaving."

"I know for sure you're all I needed."

"I can't believe I didn't see it."

"We took our time and space we needed."

"Maybe this time it'll be different."

I'M SORRY

"I thought about what I would say, but I'm two years too late."

"I can't imagine how you're doing these days."

"Sure it wasn't perfect back then."

"I'll be the first to admit."

"It was better than being strangers again."

"I'm drunk too late, talking to the moon."

"Ever since that day, the things I didn't say they haunt me."

"I know that I'm to blame, so go ahead and blame it on me."

"I know that I'm too late, but I'll say it anyway."

"I'm sorry."

"It was me, it wasn't you."

"It's cliché, but it's true."

"I wasn't thinking how I usually do?"

"Bet it was hard to watch me put you through hell."

"I hope you know I'm not proud of who I've been."

"I hope you know that I wish you nothing but the best."

SHE SAID HE SAID SHE SAID

"I saw you in the back of the room taking shots with your friends again."

"You talk shit, like you always do."

"I guess high school never ends."

"You sure got a lot to say when you're talking on my name."

"You sure got a lot to say, but did you tell them everything?"

"When you dance with the devil, the devil's gonna dance with you."

"When you play with fire, the flame's gonna burn you too."

"Starting rumors, it's nothing new."

"We're on this shit again."

"I let you go."

"Drunk talks are sober thoughts so don't act so innocent."

"I can't keep playing games when your rules are always changing."

"So, if you're saying, 'sorry', you can save it."

"Burn your bridge, talk your shit."

"I've been growing thicker skin."

"Forgiveness? Ask again."

"Patience only runs so thin."

WOULD YOU LOVE ME NOW?

"I never wrote the letter that I swore I'd send."

"I never got to tell you what I really meant."

"I can't help but thing of all the things I would say."

"If I showed up at your doorstep would you turn me away?"

"Would you care to see a stranger whose eyes are still the same?"

"Take me or leave me."

"I'm going home, but I'd rather be going your way."

"Would you love me now?"

"Take me back to when we were young again."

"After everything, would you let me in and love me now?"

"We made ourselves a promise we would stay in touch."

"If we're being honest, that's on both of us."

"I'm running out of reasons not to do it all again."

"You know I'd fly away with you if you asked me to."

"So what do you say for one more day?"

"Would you love me?"

DOPPELGÄNGER

"I guess I'm not as over you as I thought that I was."

"I saw someone who looked like you at our favorite coffee shop."

"Part of me was hoping that we'd get the chance to talk."

"I guess I'm not as over you as I thought, and I thought I was."

"I've spent a lot of nights memorizing lines, thinking about what I might say."

"After all this time, I'm still fight or flight."

"I can't help but run away."

"I know we're getting older."

"We're moving on and over."

"Everywhere I go, I see your face."

"I couldn't believe my eyes."

"Even when I left, I was still a wreck."

"I'm scared to death to see you."

"I wanted it to be you."

"The truth is no one's like you."

"A heart cannot be lied to."

FEEL SOMETHING

"We'll sneak up to the fire escape and wait for the rain."

"Most days, dear, you drive me insane."

"Why don't we both push past the pain?"

"Meet me in the middle of midnight."

"Barely made it out alive."

"We're selfish, we're melting, we're talking shit just to tell it."

"We're stupid."

"We're doing anything we can just to feel something."

"Hold me like it's the very last time, at least for tonight."

"Pull my hair and kiss my head and we'll get high."

"We felt it."

ANYONE ELSE

"You say you gotta think it over."

"I can't stop thinking of you."

"I'll be here when you need me to."

"There's a million little things I haven't told you."

"It kills me every time he's/she's/they're with you."

"How am I supposed to think about anything else?"

"How am I to go on keeping this to myself?"

"I am done pretending I want anyone else."

"Now the days are getting longer."

"I'm caught daydreaming of you."

"I'm still waiting for my happy ever after."

"When you're ready, I'll be ready too."

"The world melts away when I'm with you."

"I know you're afraid to jump too soon."

"I'd love you better than he/she/they ever could."

"We'd have it good."

"I keep hoping it'll only be a matter of time until the memory's faded and the feeling subsides."

"Time won't help."

"I can't settle for anyone else."

COMMON SENSE

"Kiss the girl/boy goodbye."

"Leave it all behind."

"The girl's/boy's not worth my time."

"Common sense ain't common when you come to mind."

"She/he/they was/were not worthwhile."

"Don't go the extra mile."

"Go back and reconcile."

"Common sense forgot about her/his/their smile."

"Second chances are thought of to be weak."

"Second chances aren't given usually."

"A second chance is all I really need."

"I think I want to love you."

"I want to love you."

"Please let me love you."

#rp memes #rp starters #rp prompts #rp lyric meme #lyric prompts #lyric starters #sentence starters #roleplay prompts #roleplay starters #not the old me. 2.0 me. no it's all of meme combined (ask meme) #when there was me and queue (queue)

[merrycrisis-if]

So much (understandable) love for Qiu with song suggestions but I think its time to throw our other beloveds a bone.

For Nat:

Wish You The Best by Lewis Capaldi - okay a LOT of his music can be applied to either Nat or Qiu depending on who's perspective you're looking at it from (MC's or RO's) but this song in particular makes me think of Nat, and especially with an MC who might be catching feelings for Shay/re-awakening feelings with Qiu

I'll miss knowin' what you're thinkin' And hearin' how your day has been Do you think you can tell me everything, darling? But leave out every part about him -- And when I said we could be friends, guess I lied I wanna say I wish that you never left Oh, but instead I only wish you the best

For Shay:

Tattoos by Renee Rapp - I'm not 100% about the fit of this one, but it reminds me of the conversation with Lice about Shay's uh...recent dating history and Shay's overall feelings about the 'cool Singaporeans' never sticking around (+ the extra convo if MC and Shay are the same gender)

Getting kinda tired of turnin' pages I hope you're not the type to pull the same shit 'Cause you could be like everyone I've dated They don't love me, they just want to see me naked 15 and 16, I had to be strong 22, I'm still scared of it all 'Cause I know one day I could wake up and you'll be gone

BONUS: Fuck it! by Days N' Daze - Not so deep and meaningful as some of the other suggestions but a song I could absolutely see Shay and MC (and maybe Lice and Kim Seng) jamming out to at FDB

Life's a game, life's a joke Fuck it, why not go for broke? Trade in all your chips and learn how to be free Why abstain? Why jump in line? We're all living on borrowed time So do what you like, and we'll like what you do when you do it And if they don't, that's fine, fuck 'em

Excuse me the Nat song rec absolutely decimated me (why would you do this!! 😭😭) but yes, the idea of... having someone you wanna talk to about everything, except you can't because it's that person you wanna talk about. And yeah, the vibes of trying to return to being friends but knowing you'll still have feelings... is a whole mood.

Also yeah--Shay jamming out with Lice and Kim Seng in someone's basement to badass songs like Fuck it! Is definitely something I imagine from time to time.

Thank you for this awesome ask, and for fuelling my love (or obsession?) with finding parallels between music and writing :P

#merry crisis #if #interactive fiction #asks #qiu #nat #shay

[gretavansteph]

come back, be here | j.m.k

Sooooo this was inspired by the song of the same name as the title by T Swift and when I tell y'all I cried before writing this.....I'm really out here in my feels lately it's crazy BUT I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this

-------------------------------

"I miss you so much, mama. The lights atop the biggest skyscrapers cannot compete with the light in your eyes. They can't compare to the light you bring in to my life."

You giggled over the phone, though your heart was clenching in your chest knowing the words your lover spoke to you came from hundreds and hundreds of miles away.

"I miss you too, my love. It's not the same without you here, even the plants are missing their own personal sun."

It was his turn to laugh, but there was a hint of sadness behind it.

"Just make sure you're giving them plenty of water, and let them know I'll be coming home soon."

"Promise?"

"Forever and then some."

You had been dating Josh for 4 years, and the distance never got any easier. If anything as your relationship progressed so did the undeniable need to have him home. To have him within reach, to have him in the same room, in your shared house, sharing the same oxygen. You understood what you were getting in to when you started dating, but that didn't make you immune to the feelings of longing and sadness that hit you like a truck every time you dropped him off at the airport. Sometimes you wouldn't even get a chance to do so, as they would arrange for a car to come pick him up and you only had a handful of minutes to say your goodbyes before he was being swept away to see all the other people around the world that loved him just as much as you did. But you were selfish, you wanted him all to yourself. Having only had him for a few weeks before he was taking off again, each time the want for more grew stronger. And he knew this, he felt the exact same.

He was often moving from place to place, never lingering for more than a few days if he was lucky. Having his brothers close to him helped him, knowing he wouldn't have been able to do it alone. But there was still an emptiness in his heart, but that's where you came in. When you had first met all it took was one look from you and he was a goner. He spent as much time with you as he could over these last 4 years but he knew he could never give you what you desired which was him, all the time like every other couple. But he tried, he tried his hardest to always make sure you knew you were loved, and no matter the distance he was always going to come back home to you.

"This Texas heat is no joke! I'm bright red instead of my normal warm golden hue!"

You laughed on the other end of the phone, picturing your goofy boyfriend pouting because he looked like a lobster.

"Well did you put any sunscreen on?" you asked. "You know you burn easy."

"We tried to tell him, Y/N!" you heard Jake's voice in the background, quickly followed by Sam and Danny as they agreed.

After a few seconds of yelling back and forth, Josh came back on the phone.

"I'm sorry, darling, these idiots don't know when to mind their own business." he sighed.

"Well, were they telling the truth?" you asked, and the silence that followed told you all you needed to know.

You laughed some more picturing the look of innocence on his face, like that of a child trying to lie to his mother about not eating chocolates though his face was covered in them.

You talked on the phone for a few more minutes, before the inevitable call was heard on his end from one of their crew members, calling out for them to get on stage.

"I have to go, baby." he sighed.

You smiled, though you knew he couldn't see you. It was more of a sad smile, one that always finds it's place on your lips once the call nears the end.

"It's alright, handsome. Go have fun," you spoke, biting your lips to prevent it from trembling as the tears began to make their way out. "Give them the best show of their lives."

He knew what you were feeling, he knew you were trying not to cry as you spoke your last goodbyes. He knew because he felt the exact same way. But he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong for you, for himself, for his brothers, and for his fans. You all needed him, and he needed to give everyone one thousand percent. So with one last final goodbye and a kiss that could only be shared over the phone, the line went dead.

Josh being away more often than not led him to miss a few special dates within your relationship. He had missed your first Valentine's Day together, he had missed your birthday a few times, and he had missed several anniversaries. He missed your big work dinner in honor of your major promotion. You knew it wasn't his fault, you could never bring yourself to blame him and you never would. You tried not to linger on the thought of those memories, knowing you couldn't go back and change the way things happened. Instead you focused on the future, and how there would be more Valentine's Day's, more birthdays and anniversaries and other celebratory moments. But the sadness still lingered, and all you could do was hope that when the time came he would be there.

"Thanks for the picture of you in your underwear, by the way. It's your new contact picture."

You laughed as you heard Josh scolding the other boys for sending you that picture, their laughter in the background causing you to laugh even harder.

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh at my misery." he spoke once he was done fighting with the others.

"I think it's cute," you said, coming down from your laughing fit. "It reminds me of you running around the house in your underwear."

He laughed as he recalled the memory. When he was home he rarely wore any clothes, and you didn't mind, but when he refused to wear clothes even when his family was over you had to scold him like a child and chase him around trying to get him to cover himself up. Eventually he would, confessing as you caught up to him that he only liked giving you a hard time.

You missed those moments with him, having not had one in 3 months, and you told him this.

"I know, honey bee. But just think, a few more and then I'll be home and I'll never wear underwear ever again." his joke of trying to lighten the situation worked, but only slightly.

You didn't want to bring him down with your mood, so you forced a laugh and went on to talk about something else while you had the time. But he knew you better than anyone did, and he knew you were putting up a front for his sake and it broke his heart, especially trying to pretend like he didn't catch on as he continued on the conversation.

Some days weren't easy as the others, not that any of them really were, but somedays you could hold your tears back. Though as for others, it wasn't so easy. You just missed him. You missed your other half, you missed your partner in crime, and you missed not sleeping alone. You missed waking up next to him, immediately rolling over to cling on to him and showering him in good morning kisses as you waited for him to wake up and look up at you with those honey colored eyes that even after all this time still made you weak in the knees. Any time he would leave you longed for his return, you ached for it. You ached for him.

"Shh, mama don't cry please." Josh begged on the line, this time being able to see you as you were on FaceTime. "I hate to see you cry, especially when I'm not there to hold you."

This only made you cry harder. You had tried holding it in you really had, but it was too much. You had started the morning already missing him, especially after waking up to find that the dream you had of him laying next to you was just that, a dream. You had gone about your day trying to forget about the dream so you wouldn't look so rough later on when you hopped on your call with Josh, but the last straw was when you were doing laundry and a whiff of his cologne wafted across your face. You had lost it then, bent over the washer as you tried to hold yourself up, sobs raking through your body. You had cried for hours, and by the time your phone was going off signaling he was calling, you still weren't done. You tried pulling yourself together as you answered, but one look at his face and there you were again, a sobbing mess.

"I'm sorry," you sobbed, wiping your tears which deemed pointless as more and more continued to follow. "I'm so so sorry I just-- I was doing laundry and then I-- and I couldn't and--fuck! I just want you to come home." you couldn't talk, you were crying so hard and Josh didn't know what to do.

He wanted you to be okay, but he knew that that was asking for too much when your partner was constantly being ripped away from you. He was surprised you had stayed with him this long, he wouldn't blame you if you decided one day that you were done waiting and that that was it. But you hadn't, and he knew you wouldn't. So he made it a priority to always make sure you were okay, no matter what it took. Especially when he was away and he couldn't do anything besides try to soothe you over the phone. He was in a bind every time this happened, and his heart broke a little more each time it did. He hated seeing you this way, but he always said 'better out than in'. He understood like no one else, having cried himself to sleep in the confines of his bunk from missing you so much. He just never told you, or anyone. His brothers knew though they never mentioned it, they just made it a point to not leave him alone for too long on those days and to hug him every chance they could. They knew they couldn't compare to what he really needed which was you, but it was something.

Outside of the camera view he whispered a favor into Jake's ear, before taking his phone and walking off somewhere more private. He was able to coax you down after a while, and you mumbled a bunch of apologies that he waved off with a smile, a smile that was reserved for you and only you. He just wanted you to feel better, even if his heart was slowly breaking.

"I'm coming home, Y/N." he assured you once again. "Before you know it it'll be you and me mama, you and me and my underwear."

This brought a laugh out of you, and he soaked every bit of it in. He was glad he could make you feel better, and soon after you fell into your normal conversation, catching up on each others days before you had to get off the phone. He reminded you he was coming home again, and you felt the tears sting your eyes again.

"Promise?"

"Forever and then some, my heart."

The pictures and videos you received from Josh and the boys pieced your heart back together a little more each time, though it was never near enough you adored every single little thing they sent you, immediately saving them all onto your phone. All of the pictures you would develop, adding them into a scrapbook for tour memories for the boys. The album was filled with all sorts of pictures from all around the world. Danny golfing in Brazil, Sammy swimming there as well. The twins on a boat in Australia, the four of them doing shots in Ireland. There was a memory from pretty much everywhere around the world at this point. You loved looking through it as you sat and ate breakfast in the mornings, or when you were missing all of them a little bit more than usual before bed.

It was almost cruel falling in love this way. The long distance wasn't a friend to anyone, and you couldn't imagine what you would do if you didn't have phones or the internet. Those measly little things are what kept you attached to the love of your life when he was away, and you cherished it like a rare diamond.

"Thank you for the flowers, Joshy. They’re beautiful."

The day after your break down over the phone with Josh, he confined in his twin for a favor. While he comforted you, Jake was in another room calling an immediate order of two dozen white roses meant to be delivered to your home. They arrived the very next day, and you cried in front of the delivery man but you didn't care. You were so overwhelmed with love in that moment that once the roses were placed in a safe spot, you quickly gave the man your signature before running to grab your phone to call Josh.

"I'm glad you liked them, honey." he said, a wide grin on his lips.

He knew you needed him, and he knew you needed him more and more everyday. He tried filling some of the void with gifts and pictures and videos. He knew they would never amount to the same thing, but it was something.

"I loved them," you corrected lovingly, matching his smile.

You dove into conversation after that, taking advantage of the fact that they had an off day so you could talk a little longer. Josh's phone was passed around the room at one point, and you got to talk to the other guys as well, catching up on their thoughts and what they had been up to. After a few protests from Josh, claiming that they were stealing you from him, he landed back in the view of the camera as his phone was passed back to him.

"So, where to next, curly?"

He smiled at the nickname as he spoke. "Georgia, then Alabama after that."

He went into details about the next few shows, and you tried not to squirm around in your seat too much. The anticipation for the next few weeks to go by grew stronger and stronger. He was coming home in a few weeks, and you were more than ready. Though it was only for a month, you could not wait any longer.

The days leading up to Josh's return proved to be way more hard and stressful than you had anticipated. You were swamped with work so you had been missing some of his calls, and you wished you hadn't, even more so after the conversation you shared when you finally got a moment to answer.

"2 more months?!" you gasped.

On the other end of the phone Josh sounded distressed, much like you were feeling at the moment. He had called to give you the news that they extended their tour 2 more months, so instead of being home in 2 weeks he was going to be gone much longer. He had already been gone for 6 months, but 8? That was so long you feared you wouldn't be able to do it.

"I know, love, I know. It sucks so much and we tried to fight it but nothing worked, they refused to listen to us." he sighed. "We take off for New York in the morning."

The conversation was cut short after that, the two of you too heartbroken to even handle speaking. It wasn't fair, none of it was. He was supposed to be coming home in 2 weeks, only to find out they added an extension to the tour and they were sending them off to New York.

That night you cried yourself to sleep, you couldn't do it anymore. Any of it. You just wanted him home, you needed him home. You needed him so bad you feared your heart would finally completely break, not being able to handle the longing you felt for your lover. You cried for hours, tossing and turning in bed. You tried taking a shower to relax your body when sleep refused to come, but it didn't work. You cried in there too, cried when you got out, and cried when you climbed back in to bed. Eventually sleep over took your body on it's own, and you welcomed it with open arms.

————-

The room was warm when you woke up, much too warm. You always had to have the ac set on at least 65 as you got hot easily, so upon waking up bathed in warmth you feared you might've finally broken it. You kept your eyes closed as you tried to ignore the heat in the house, your eyes begging you to go back to sleep as your body ached from all of the distress from the previous night. You were almost there, almost back asleep but you felt yourself moving and the heat grew stronger. Your brows furrowed and you groaned in annoyance, your groan echoing in your sleep induced brain. Except, it wasn't an echo.

It took a few minutes to open your eyes, even more so to adjust to the brightness in the room. You mentally cursed yourself for not closing the blinds, but you were much to occupied bawling your eyes out. Once you rubbed the sleep from your eyes you looked around the room, your eyes shooting straight down your body as you felt yourself move again.

A pair of arms was wrapped around your waist, keeping you flush against the heat that you thought was from the heater, but you quickly realized it wasn't. You shot up in bed, almost falling completely off but you managed to catch yourself, your eyes wide and your mouth stuck open in a gasp as you looked down at what was in your bed. Or more so, who was in your bed.

"I told you I'd come back and be here, didn't I?"

——————-

if y’all have any requests drop them in my ask!

#gvf #gvf blurb #greta van fic #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet #josh kiszka fanfiction #joshkiszkaxreader #josh kiszka fluff #josh kiszka x reader #joshkiszka #josh kiszka angst #joshgvf #jakekiszka #jakegvf #sam kiszka #samgvf #danny gvf #danny wagner

[bbyquokka]

hello! i recently graduated from college but i did not have anyone around to celebrate except for my friends which are amazing company but i miss home so much. anyway hehe, i was going to ask if i could request a short drabble where you graduate college but you're foreigner so minho can't make it but you just feel his love and support even if he's not with you and video call maybe. bUT then later in your grad party he surprises you and it's all fluffy 💜💜

congratulations on graduating! 🥳🎓 i understand what it's like to miss home sm - living in a different country has its up and downs. anyways – tysm for your request and i hope this is what you wanted. i hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! 🖤

I wouldn't miss it for the world ੈ♡˳

🐰: pairing: Lee Know x gn!reader

🐰: genre: fluff

🐰: synopsis: its graduation time! you felt disappointed that minho couldn't attend the ceremony, but that soon washed away once he surprised you

🐰: warnings: pet names.

🐰: words: 837

🐰: have a request? send it to me here

🐰: read my faq to learn about my guidelines before submitting requests

you did it. after years of tears and laughter, you was finally going to graduate! you couldn't be happier – but also sad – to have finally completed your time at college.

You have made so many good memories, met some amazing people but how you was ready to venture off into the real world. Do what you love doing best.

You're a foreigner in a whole new different country. It was hard at first, having to adapt to the rules of society and the way it worked, but you adjusted pretty quickly.

You had to leave everyone behind – including your beloved boyfriend, Minho

"I've finally graduated, Min!" You exclaimed excitedly, sprawling out in your bed. You was dressed in shorts and a spaghetti strap vest, holding your phone in a position so that Minho could see you.

"Good job baby! I knew you could do it! I'm so proud of you, sweetheart!" You blushed at his words, feeling giddy.

"Thank you, Min. Will you be able to come to the ceremony tomorrow?" You asked, biting your lip. You hoped he would be able to and truth be told, you got your hopes up. You wanted to see him after not seeing him face to face for months! You imagined him being there and kissing you, carrying you bridal style, taking selfies with you – all that lovey dovey stuff, you wanted.

Minho's expression changed, his gaze on the floor. "Sorry baby. I can't make it. I have family stuff to attended to."

Your heart dropped, disappointment setting in. You gave your best fake smile, looking at Minho through your phone screen. "It's okay, Min. I understand."

"I'm so sorry baby. I promise I will make up for it!" You smirked, wiggling your brows in a cheeky, seductive manor

"Oh, I know you will, darling."

Graduation day came and true to his words, there was no sign of Minho. You did feel disappointed, but you also understood that real life gets in the way sometimes and there is nothing that can be done about it.

You accepted your diploma, shaking hands of many teachers and other important people. You listened to cheers and speeches, taking pictures with teachers that you will miss, throwing your graduation cap in the air.

The formal bit was over – now it's time to party!

You're dressed in your best party outfit, feeling the buzz of finally being able to let your hair down and not feel bad about it. Your friend decided to throw the party at their place as it was bigger.

You arrived, the excitement of many others rushing around you, making you feel excited. You grabbed a drink, socialising with people and taking selfies of the many people you will miss. You checked your phone every so often, hoping to see a call or text of Minho, but nothing.

He hadn't contacted you the whole day and you was getting a little concerned. Minho would never forget something as important as this – so why hasn't he congratulated you?

You asked your friend if they have heard anything off Minho. A text, call maybe an instagram post but nothing. you looked in your drink, your reflection staring back at you. You didn't want to feel sad, but you did.

Maybe Minho did forget…

"Hey, (Y/N)! why the long face? it's a party, you should be celebrating!" your old class mate exclaimed, nudging your side gently

"I know, but my boyfriend hasn't contacted me to say congratulations." You sighed sadly, eyes filling with tears.

"Maybe that's because I wanted to say it in person." Your eyes widen as the familiar voice. You spun on your heels at lightning speed to be face to face with your love

"Minho.." You breathed out, putting your drink down. He smiled brightly, his bunny teeth on display.

"Hello, baby. sorry I'm late." you ran into his arms, the force of the collision of your bodies knocking him over slightly. He laughed, wrapping his arms around you tightly. You let out soft sobs, your tears dampening Minho's t-shirt

"You came. you actually came!" Minho hummed, hand stroking your hair gently. "I've missed you so much, Min!"

Your body shook with sobs. Minho hushed you, swaying side to side as his own eyes filled with tears. "I know baby, I've missed you so much too! it's been so painful for me being away from you for so long."

Your friends were watching, giving you two some space as you both sobbed and relished in one another's warmth. You pulled away, looking up at him. He wiped away your tears gently before wiping his own.

"You lied to me, Minho." You whispered, giggling softly. Minho laughed, before leaning in slowly. Faces inches apart, his lips ghosting over yours as his breath fanned on your lips. you could smell his cologne, the smell you've been longing for for months. the smell that drives your senses into overdrive.

"It was worth it though, wasn't it?"

#– anon 👥 #request #skz #stray kids #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #stray kids hard thoughts #stray kids hard hours #skz hard thoughts #skz hard hours #skz request #lee minho #lee know #skz lee minho #skz lee know #minho #skz minho #stray kids lee minho #stray kids lee know #stray kids minho #lee minho fluff #lee know fluff #minho fluff #kpop #stray kids one shot #skz one shot #lee minho scenarios #lee know scenarios #lee know x you #lee minho x you

[blacknight2221]

Loving you- Carl grimes x poc reader

So this is my first time writing a fanfic so bare with me :)- Jessie

Warnings: angst, self lothing, depression, running away, zombies, death, no happy ending, afab reader

'It was pouring rain the day that it happened. Curly hair sticking to my dark skin as I hold my knees. What do I feel? Why do I love him? Why can't I stop loving him? It was supposed to be a good day, but on our anniversary of all days, I caught him with her once again. Her hand touching his beautiful locks the way I do, his laugh, his smile, his hat? Why was she wearing his hat? She doesn't know about me. No one does. We decided to keep it secret. I decided to keep it secret. You wanted to tell the world I wasn't ready to commit to titles. Looking back at it now, it was idiotic hiding you. Hiding us. I felt like next to you I don't belong. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, maybe. Maybe I should disappear. Would you even miss me, my love? If I were gone. Without a trace. I pondered that as I arrived home. Losing Glenn has left a toll on my home and he was like a brother to me. Now he's gone, Maggie is pregnant. I was never good with babies. I was terrible with Judith. I thought you were amazing at it. One day you will make a great father. Enid would be a great mother. I don't hate her. I don't hate you. Well, maybe I hate her. I saw how happy you were with her and it always got under my skin. I stand packing my bags now. I know if I speak to you, I will calm down. Carl, you will take me in your arms and kiss me, making it better. Is it wrong that is what I want? To have you kiss me and make it better. Make the way I feel go away. I didn't take everything. I left my brothers' varsity jacket. It kept me warm all these years. I can still see him wearing it, throwing that football around. God, I used to be so mad at him growing up. Now I just miss him... I figured it brought me comfort after he was gone from my hands, in which I had to give him mercy from the monsters in our world. It will give you comfort as I find mercy from the monsters in my head. Loving you was the one thing I did right. It was wild and insane and when you lost your eye, I nearly died. I spent all my time worrying, but now you're safe.... I am leaving safely to go out in the world. By now, I have probably kissed you on the lips and said good night....you had no clue I would be gone in the morning.... it's not your fault. I know you blame yourself for the world's problems. Do not, my love.  I wanted this.

Forever yours, Y/N'

Carl looked over the letter for the third time, a look of panic on his face. He knew his girlfriend was always quick to react without thinking things through. As he grabbed his gun and gathered Michonne, Daryl, and Rick, he ran in search of his lover, his light, his life. Carl lost so much but he never expected her, his y/n, his darling, his baby, the reason he still fought as Carl searched, he stopped as he stepped on something. A pool of blood. The male turned to see drag marks. The air caught in his throat as he walked closer to see the bones. Bones everywhere, blood, bones, her clothes, her hair, bloated zombies...3 of them so fat they could not move, blood all over them, all over the scene, her curly locks in their mouths with hunks of flesh and scalp still that they could not swallow. His y/n.....

"Loving you was the best thing I did. You are probably with my mother now. God I'm a mess...how can I live like this? I will never see your smile again? Your curls bounce as you run? The sun in your hair!? That chip in your tooth from when you tripped on your feet at the prison?! Big brown eyes staring at me so lovingly!? Come back! Please! I'm sorry! Im sorry!" The male screamed at the cross in front of him, tears running down his face "Please.... I'm never gonna stop loving you." He whispered as he sat over the grave knowing there was nothing in the dirt below.

I hope you liked it!!! It was my first time doing this kinda thing:)-Jessie

#carl grimes x you #the walking dead x reader #twd x reader #carl grimes x y/n #carl grimes #twd angst #carl x reader #first fanfic