#i looked it up and apparently asianic is not really an offensive term but if anyone takes issue i will absolutely change the wording

[lopposting]

just realized, i think sophia's face was re-done between the demo and the final release.

definitely like the latter version more, she seems warmer and a bit more matronly, which is more fitting for her character. she's also smiling wider than in the demo (the first shot is her smiling from the demo version, she just seems a bit more grave upon seeing us). and also... how do i say this. She's looking less asianic. Round8 studios are based in south korea, their team is largely made up of korean people.

sophia's appearance in the launch trailer:

and again, sophia in the demo vs. final release (unsmiling so you get a better idea)

anyways, that's a bit of sophia. we have yet to see pre-alpha P except for a SUPER blown up snap of his face in the dark from the first trailer and quick snaps from earlier gameplay footage

#lies of p #i looked it up and apparently asianic is not really an offensive term but if anyone takes issue i will absolutely change the wording #dont mind me. im just trying to bide my time until the art book is out #lies of p sophia #hmm #sophia's doll in the end also looks like it was based on sophia's earlier model and unchanged since the “alpha” version

[papirouge]

I'm the anon that sent you the message about hating the term PoC. Yeah, I pretty much agreee with everything you say. I don't believe much in POC solidarity because our struggles are very different between each other, and trying to paint everything as us vs whites does not really work. Perhaps for americans it does, since they have a very diverse population, but it's more difficult when talking about other countries.

Like latin americans do not have the best relationships between each other, they might share language but have very different cultures. Like the other day I was reading about this cartoon named "Oye primos" that was going to premiere and it was made by a second gen latina, where she looked to represent her growing up in a latin community in the USA, but she was clowned by pretty much every latino leaving outside of America. First, because the name of the cartoon is gramatically wrong (it should be "OIGAN primos, not OYE primos), second, because she used the word "LATINX", which latinos hate, and third, because she named the town the characters live in "Terremoto (Earthquake) Heights" or something like that (people though it was offensive because Mexico and Chile have suffered through a lot of earthquakes). And there's other stuff, like people saying the animation is ugly (very calart) and so on. Some people even started praising Los Casagrande, a spin off of The Loud House with a main mexican family thats not even made by latinos, but its considered far superior.

Sorry, I got a little carried away with that, what I wanted to say it's that its pretty common for latinos to kinda tear each other up, but they unite if they want to clown a "gringo" or something (and yes, they pointed out that the author basically being a 2nd gen makes her a gringa... I guess). Plus a lot of latinos dont like anything that looks "woke", and they considered that show does, so it was doomed from the start. The creator of the show felt pretty overwhelmed by the negative reception, received a lot of backlash and it apparently affected her a lot. I feel pretty bad for her actually.

And yeah, argentinians are actually pretty white, not only because a lot of italians and germans migrated there (if you ever read the names of their national soccer team, you'll notice many names are of italian origin), but because they're at the very south. Chile is also pretty white. But yeah, argentinians have always been pinned as being pretty arrogant and full of themselves, so it doesnt surprise me that they feel they're superior because their team is white. I remember that argentinians and fans of Messi in general were clowning Mbappe for allegedly being in a relationship with a transwoman, so they invented some pretty homophobic chants... soccer fans be like that

Ugh, this got so long,... I was gonna mention asians and their own issues too, but i think it's enough. I did wanted to ask you something though: is France a racist country?? How has your experience being impacted by being black?

Don't be sorry anon, I love these loooong asks where I get to know more my followers 🧡

It's pretty ironic you're talking about Asians because in one of my post where I'm talking about White conservative weaponizing minorities against each other somehow triggered A LOT of people. I even got a comment saying "put the reblogs back I have to give my perspective as someone with Asian/japanese ancestry" and I got like..... "Hm no?" LMAO This girl REALLY thought her opinion was remotely relevant when this was my perspective as Black person and I am not interested about some random Asian take on that issue. Sis really thought my post was a diss against Asians success (I mean every single person who interacted with that post had a negative IQ and entirely missed the post that's why I muted the reblogs) and got like "the cOnsErVatiVes aRe jUst acKnoLedgiNg oUr sUcCesS uwu"...... There's no wonder East Asians are looked down as White people's cucks 💀 IDK, if my community was being weaponized by racist scrotes to dogpile on other I wouldn't go uwuwhy do you mean?uwu about it. How can people have so little self awareness? ...That's why I don't believe in POC and that some communities will actually be more than willing this silence us. Sis really tried to all lives matter my take and I have no patience for that.

And soccer is brain disease tbh. Case in point : the racist Argentinians players dragging Mbappé... Which is a shame bc Messi and him seem to be very cool. Fans are the worst. I think I realized how racist these people were when they said ANTOINE GRIEZMANN (France NT player) wasn't White enough just because his mom was...... Portuguese (when his dad is German)💀

Imagine thinking this man is not White enough when them Argentians be looking like tragic mulattos themselves 💀💀 HE'S LITERALLY THE ARYAN PROTOTYPE 💀💀his name is ANTOINE. THAT'S THE WHITEST FRENCHIEST NAME EVER!! NEVER IN MY LIFE DID I MEET SOMEONE CALLED ANTOINE THAT WASN'T WHIIIIITE 💀💀💀💀

Argentinians living up their nazi heritage ; Portugal ain't white enough lmao...

What's funny with Latins is that they have this thinly veiled superiority complex with Black people.....but highkey are envious of the cultural impact of Black culture worldwide. Latin culture has a load of influence on music, but its impact is not as multifaceted as Black culture (beside music, fashion, hairstyles, make up, slang, etc.). I saw some Latins seethe about Black Panther and the hype the Black community was having from this movie, and Black twitter, in its usual shadiness got like "hmmm don't you have Rio? 🤔" LMAOOOO (it was before Encanto though)

And is France racist? hm... I mean, it's a European country 🥴🥴 but it's definitely one of the least racist one for sure. Non french netizens will do the most about how islamophobic France is, but Islam isn't a race so the problem our country has with Islam isn't much related to race. Because of colonization, France has many territories oversea where its natives are Black, so France is inherently already multiracial, and that's something that many French people acknowledge. I feel like french are more worried about culture than race (ln many aspects, I, as a Christian Black woman, have to bear much less prejudice than a Muslim male, for example). That's why our country is very defensive against Islam (which comes with a whole cultural set) rather than race.

We consider assimilation as a staple and reject self IDing communities (whether they might be sexual, racial, religious). Any stats trying to quantity race, religion or sexuality are ILLEGAL, here. That's why when I see foreign rightoids be like "France is already 25% Muslim!! #greatreplacement" I just know they are full of shit, because such stats are technically illegal...

To give you an example, France leader of the far-FAR right is a Jew...(Eric Zemmour) and a significant amount of people from North Africa/muslim are in the (far) right too.. (many of them change their names to make them sound more french/less Arab such as Jean Messiha lmao)

France itself is a mixed nation between Romans invader and Galicians (basically France indigenous) also some viking mingling in the north(?) That's why french people can be very phenotypically diverse. If you look Griezman (France North type) and Kenji Girac (Southern France type - he's also a gypsy) who are both White french while looking quite different.

Unfortunately nationalism is on the rise, there's an actual revival of neo Nazi (which is hilarious bc France has been invaded/defeated by Nazi and that actual self respecting French rightoids hate Nazism because of that 💀) so I feel like France is getting less sale for foreigners/non Whites. I think France is the best place to live in Europe if you're afraid of racism but yeah, it's getting quite heated here....

#answered

[i--antimony]

back to your regularly scheduled tuesdayposts

book review edition

listening: im on episode 52 of twilight mirage now! final stretch!!

reading: hooo boy. so. i read 'every heart a doorway' yesterday. not gonna lie! i'm bummed! i thought it was bad! i've been marinating on it overnight and i want to put some thoughts down about it. i saw some folks on goodreads changing their reviews after a few days to be a higher rating because they'd "judged it as a novel, not a novella" and no offense but i think that is stupid. yes, a novella can be approached with different expectations than a novel, but i still expect it to have, like...character arcs?? a Beginning Middle and End???

it felt like it was trying very hard to have Representation and Feminism, yet fell into the trap of "only a certain amount of pretty is ok, if you're Too Pretty you must have a bad personality to make up for it or be otherwise evil" (seraphina) and had a character (angela i think) say "i'm transphobic" and there is zero resolution with that! it is never brought up again! she goes "i think you're a fake man" kade goes "fuck you" and that's it!! then the climax of the book happens! it's totally irrelevant and served no purpose! we don't even know who angela is!!!! it means nothing!!! really bizarre! this isn't even touching the Quirky Token Asian who gets murdered almost immediately. 

in general i think the scale of characters was a little weird. there are about 40 students in this house but it felt very amorphous, especially for the type of story i thought it was trying to tell; i think i would have preferred a smaller cast where we got to learn everyone's names and general vibes at least instead of just "blue haired girl". this isn't a huge problem i just thought it made the setting feel a bit strange. the few characters we got to see named and have motivations were really two dimensional. i don't think this is a problem of it being a YA book, i think it was just too rushed to actually flesh out anyone beyond the most general strokes.

i think the most natural-feeling and fleshed out was kade, i liked him a lot. nancy felt...not like a character, she felt like a collection of Facts. it's nice to see asexual rep, don't get me wrong, but she basically felt like an empty shell of a character. not that any of the other characters felt especially fleshed out, but they all at least has allusions to Character Arcs In The Past, with whole adventures in each of their respective fairytale lands; nancy didn't even have an adventure it seems like!! like she just Stood There A Lot!

and apparently standing Very Still is a superpower, which leads me to my next complaint - why the hell do these kids have magic in the real world still? christopher taking out his little bone flute and reanimating lorelei's skeleton made me put the book down for a minute and take a lap. why! the stuff like standing very still, or lorelei's really good eyesight i could excuse; fully Reanimating The Dead is very silly. maybe i'm missing something but it doesn't seem to serve any purpose. the book would have been missing nothing if that whole skeleton scene was cut. similarly with the aging-backwards therapist, was clearly built entirely for the "oooooh how quirky she looks 8 but she acts like an adult!" factor. it served no purpose. she could have been a normal adult woman. her suspicion of nancy was really silly too. basically magic continuing to exist in the "real world" served no narrative purpose and felt out of place with the message i thought the book was trying to have. and speaking of message:

i think this book's biggest crime is not having a cohesive message. i started this book thinking it would be about loss, grief, and coming to terms with a life you didn't think you'd have. those are all really good messages for a YA book! not that there is a "correct" ending for a story like this but just sending nancy back to her fantasy land was completely antithetical to the book saying "sometimes you just need to move on a little, you can still keep your hope but you have to live your life as well". no offense to mcguire but that ending felt like her choosing an "unexpected" ending just for the sake of it, not to serve any narrative purpose. then again nancy was kinda not a character so it doesn't make the worst sense to just get her out of the way a little. i found myself feeling more bad for nancy's parents than anything else. yes they don't understand, and probably didn't understand her for a while even before she went through her door, but they clearly were so worried about her and nancy really didn't seem to have any good will towards them for it. all teenagers feel misunderstood! all i can think about is these two well-meaning parents grieving for literally the rest of their lives lol. like listen. i get it. i was That Kid. i wanted something like that so badly. but i would have at least hesitated. i know it's just a YA novel but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

in terms of narrative, i definitely saw the twist coming, basically from the point where jill vanished for a little bit following the first murder, which is fine! i'm a little confused on the logistics of it, like her and jack shared a room and the timeline makes it seem like jack would definitely have had to notice earlier. doesn't really matter either way. i would have loved a little more drama around the murders - maybe being suspicious of lundy or even eleanor? especially when lundy was weirdly in kade's room after the first murder. the main characters seemed strangely apathetic to it all, no drive to investigate or search for clues like you'd expect in a YA novel. it's fine. i did really like mcguire's prose, though, she has some nice sentences in there.

idk tl;dr i had high expectations because i saw a lot of people talking this book up a lot but it really did nothing for me except make me a little sad for nancy's parents which i don't think was the intended result. 2/5 stars for me :(

watching: a bunch of mina le mostly

making: i finished carving out my watch block, i haven't done a test print yet but i'm going to try and do that this week! i'm almost done with my tank top knitting project too, i'm on the last strap now.

misc: it's been like a month since i tuesdayposted! hello everyone! i got a really really bad stomach bug when i was in korea but other than that my travels went well! i had a minor breakdown last week when i was puppysitting by myself bc of how sleep deprived i was! but i'm better now! things feel like they're moving veerrrrrryyyy slowly with my research but that's just how it is with that i guess. being home for the summer has been really nice but i do miss having my own space and independence.

#tuesdayposting

[annetteblog]

Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?  

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone. 

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??” 

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance. 

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly. 

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

                                       /as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet. 

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed. 

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.   

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

                                                    Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience. 

P.S.  And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian.  i like it better and what will u do haha

#jikook #kookmin #what am i even doing here #i'm gonna regret this #long post

[normal-thoughts-official]

With a little help from your friends (the help is praise kink and the friend is your boyfriend)

Who would have thought that fucking your boyfriend senseless cures dysphoria.

Alternatively: being a dom is actually something that can be so gender,

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Pairing: Andy Kang/Tom Sato

Additional tags: let's see, mild mentions of transphobic and racist comments, Comfort Sex, the filthiest comfort sex uve ever seen but WHATEVER, dom andy kang, sub tom sato, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Dom/sub Play, Collars, Praise Kink, basically someone says transphobic shit and then tom rides him and talks about how wonderful andy is, except tom has also been in denial for a few days and he's super horny, and andy gets in domspace and everything is great and nothing hurts, Fluff and Smut, Humor, cuz u know these two are incapable of taking anything too seriously, Established Relationship, oh they're both in college and they go to the same college cuz i said so, set after the events of it lives beneath, that's it I think, trans author if that matters to you

Read it on Ao3

Andy isn't having a great day. It's not a terrible, clawing-at-his-chest-trying-to-deal-with-dysphoria kind of day, but he's been trying out this "not comparing everything to the worst possible scenario" thing his therapist has been talking about, so still, not a great day.

The thing is, he thought college would be easier. And it is, in a lot of ways. For starters, there is no evil monster spectre trying to kill him, which gives college at least 5 points over high school. And his uni has a pretty solid queer club, so he knows other trans people there. Some of them are even non-white. Some of them he even actually, truly likes. And most of the time, he feels like he has a place to turn to, and people to support him. He's not alone. He has people who get him. And that makes all the difference.

But basketball is still a nightmare, and his knee still hurts when it's cold, and winter is officially starting now.

People still hesitate to pass the ball to him, and it's frustrating, because Andy fought so hard to earn his old team's trust and now he's back at square zero. And well, Andy has been gaining this team's trust, because he's good, goddamn it, and his team owes at least the last three victories to him. He's not hesitant to say that, especially because otherwise no one will. And he can see that they look at him differently now - nod at him in the hallways, at least, talk to him in the locker room, pass him the fucking ball if his position is very, very open.

But if he weren't trans and Asian, he wouldn't have had to work so hard to get all of that - or well, just that, really. He has a full sports scholarship despite the fact that he had a broken leg, had to retake his last year of high school, and doesn't even have the body type for basketball. If he weren't Asian, if he weren't trans, his team would have assumed his greatness from day one. Instead, he has to show it to them time and time again only to get them to reluctantly admit maybe he's not bad. No one calls him "triple threat" anymore, but he still has to work three times harder than anyone else, and it's frustrating.

And usually Andy can deal with it, but right now his knee hurts, and he can't afford that because he'll lose everything he's worked for if his teammates know that his fucking knee hurts. So, he braved training and then he got the fuck out of there without even changing so no one would see him wince. Which means he's still in basketball shorts, which are short, in the cold, which means his leg hurts more.

At times like these, he's thankful he never got the chance to go through with his promise to break his other leg kicking Noah's ass. Because he would have, and then both his legs would be hurting right now, and two legs that hurt every time it's cold is just too many legs.

No comparing to the worst possible scenario, he tells himself. Therapy is so hard. If he had known there would be homework, he would have thought twice about going.

And that's, apparently, the cue for his phone to go off. Andy smiles, knowing who it is even before he opens the message, because only one person messages him during class, and it's the only person he wants to hear from right now.

Tom <3 sent you a message

Grinning like a fool, he opens it.

Tom <3: dude, im horny af rn. the fuck

Finally, good news, Andy thinks, smiling. Then he remembers why Tom is so horny, and suddenly this day is great, actually.

He quickly types a reply.

You: who wouldve thought that 3 days of denial would make this happen

Tom <3: ill have u kno i was very good at holding it together before today

You: yeah, dw. soon u wont have to hold it anymore ;)

Tom <3: that flirt was terrible, dude

You: said the guy whos calling me dude for the second time in this conversation

Tom <3: what else should i call u? 😩

Andy thinks for a second. Tom and him do longer-term denial every once in a while, but they aren't in a 24/7 relationship. Does Andy really want to go there right now? Yes. Well, that was fast. Okay then.

You: how about "sir"

Tom's reply comes fast as lightning.

Tom <3: Yes, Sir.

Andy smirks at himself.

You: uve been hoping that id say that, havent u?

Tom types for just a little longer this time.

Tom <3: Yes, Sir.

----

Many things are wrong with the world, and Andy doesn't mean to make light of the other things, but the fact that Andy can't simply go and fuck his boyfriend whenever he wants is definitely one of them. It should be, like, financial compensation or something. We're so sorry the school environment is transphobic, here, have a free sex pass. Sounds fair to him. But instead, he still has two hours of classes to go through, and Andy is a better guy than he wishes he was, so he tells Tom to pay attention to class instead of sexting him, because he doesn't want Tom to struggle even more with his course when he had already had to leave it once. God damn true love or whatever.

The point is, by the time classes are finally over, his day is back to not being that great; he's tired, and his leg hurts. He gets to their car after Tom does, and Tom takes one look at him, and says, "I'm driving".

Andy crosses his arms. "Why?"

"Because your leg hurts," Tom answers, rolling his eyes and taking Andy's bag from him and putting it in the trunk.

Andy looks down at his legs. He wasn't limping. There aren't any bruises. How the hell-

"It's cold and you're in shorts. I'm not an idiot, dude."

Right. Yeah. Right. Of course. Tom knows. It's… It's alright.

"Bad day at training?" Tom asks, slowly, sympathetically, and Andy feels himself settle in his skin a little bit.

"The usual," he answers, getting inside, and, as always, Tom gets the hint.

---

Their uni's dorms are gender-segregated because these guys have still not gotten the memo that people of the same gender fuck; and Andy wasn't willing to deal with cis college guys' bullshit, much less cis college girls' bullshit; and the uni wouldn't let him simply pick Tom as his roommate. So, they rented out a beat up apartment right next to it instead. It took a little longer to get there, but it wasn't a lot longer, and well, it was worth it.

Tom gets inside, still carrying Andy's bag because he's transphobic and unfair and had taken it and bolted up running so Andy wouldn't have a chance to argue with him. And Andy can't run after him with his leg hurting, which kind of proves Tom's point that he should carry Andy's bag. All in all, Tom is the worst, and he turns up the heat as soon as he gets inside and sits Andy down on the bed, kneeling in front of him to take a look at Andy's knee.

He's silent for a while, massaging his knee until Andy sighs and throws his head back, before Tom plants a little kiss on his knee and looks up at him. Andy's knee always stops hurting when Tom kisses it better. It's a little embarrassing, if Andy is being honest, but still- nice. Really nice.

They stay for a little longer like this, Tom humming and massaging his knee and Andy not meeting his eyes, until the question inevitably comes.

"What happened?" Tom asks, not letting up with the smooth movements of his hands, his eyes big and sincere with worry.

"Nothing. Just the cold. You know how my knee gets."

"I meant, for you to leave practice without putting some warmer clothes on."

Andy looks away. "It was nothing."

"Dude, are you expecting me to go, 'okay, yeah, that totally makes sense and I believe you', or…?"

Andy laughs, despite himself, and throws his good leg up in an almost-kick to pretend he's retaliating. "Don't be an ass."

"I'm not. Come on, Andy. You know you can tell me."

"It's nothing, it's just- Kyle-"

"Oh boy."

Andy laughs. "Yeah." But then he grows serious, "the thing is, he doesn't mean any harm, you know? I know he's not saying it to hurt me, and so that just means that, like... that it's true."

Tom's hands stop their movements, rubbing soothing circles around his knee instead. "What did he say?"

Andy doesn't look at him. "He asked me why I didn't stay on the women's team. Said that I could have an advantage, cuz Asian people are androgynous anyway, so no one would notice that I was taking hormones."

Tom just stares at him in shock for a moment.

"And I was like, 'dude, I've been on T for three years, I'm pretty sure they would notice the changes'. And he was like, 'yeah, but you still look like a lot of Asian girls with short hair, you could write it off if you wanted', and I just…" He trails off.

Tom waits in silence for a second, seeing if Andy finds his words, before asking, "Is Kyle, like, okay?"

Andy scoffs. "I didn't try and fight him, if that's what you're asking."

"No, I mean, does this dude have a screw loose or something?"

"He's very bad at figuring out what is or isn't offensive, yeah, but it's not like he really cares, he just won't go out of his way to antagonize me."

"No, I just- Andy, even when you were a little kid with huge pigtails, anyone would have to be crazy to see you as a girl."

Andy bites the inside of his lip. "You're just saying that."

"I'm not. It's just wrong, man. It was so obvious that it was wrong. Anyone could tell. There's nothing about you that says 'girl' to anyone who's looking."

Andy sighs, finally risking looking at Tom's eyes. There's overwhelming sincerity there, and Andy instinctively looks away. "I guess. Maybe. I don't know. It just got me thinking... Maybe T didn't change anything. Maybe I look exactly the same, maybe it was just hopeful thinking that had me thinking it would change anything, maybe it's just- pointless to even try-"

"No, no, come on," Tom says, and the interruption is so sudden it makes Andy look at him again, just in time to see Tom shaking his head vigorously. "There's no way you believe that. What about this bad boy over here?" He smiles, reaching out softly to caress Andy's neck. "You have more of an Adam's Apple than me, dude. And we both know you don't need T to be a guy, but thinking it made no difference is just crazy and you know it. What about those dry pecs? These broad shoulders of yours? Your voice, I mean, come on. You even smell different, man. How can it be pointless, if even your scent is different?"

Andy looks to the side again, but he can feel himself smile. "Well, when you put it like that..."

Tom gets up, but stays close, putting his hand on Andy's cheek, slowly, as if testing the waters, before turning him slightly to look at him. "Andy. Kyle is an idiot and a transphobic racist who's too damn lazy to realize how fucked up he is. And you shouldn't have to deal with that, and I'm sorry, and I will set him on fire."

Andy laughs. "You can't keep threatening to set every shitty teammate I have on fire."

"I can, because it keeps making you laugh," Tom says, smiling. Well. Andy can't argue with that. "My point is, you wouldn't listen to a word this dude says if it were about anyone else, so don't listen to him when he talks about you, okay? T or no T, you're no girl, and you don't look like a girl, and regardless of whether or not Kyle's dumb ass noticed it, your transition has been doing you good. Remember when your voice started to crack and get all weird? I've never seen anyone be that happy about it."

Andy laughs. "It was pretty awful."

"No, it was great, 'cause you loved it. Do you want me to pull out the 'before' pictures we took in case this happened? Look at yourself, dude. You fit so much better in your own skin, you know? And like, you've always been gorgeous, but-"

"Come here," Andy interrupts, pulling him down because Tom is standing and Andy is sitting and Andy is already height-challenged. And Tom goes willingly, carefully straddling Andy's lap and meeting him in a kiss. Finally, Andy thinks.

Tom kisses him softly, slowly, one hand resting on the back of Andy's head and the other draped lazily over his shoulder, as he usually does, all gentle and a little hesitant, and Andy is having none of that. So he grabs Tom's hair and deepens the kiss, bringing him closer until their chests are flushed together and he can feel Tom's hips mindlessly making little circles against Andy's belly.

They separate - or well, stop kissing, really, because Tom is still as close to Andy as physically possible, and Andy feels about ready to shoot anyone who tries to push him further away. Tom's a little breathless, and his hips are still making these almost imperceptible movements against Andy, and Andy realizes that he's still grabbing Tom's hair and that he's a little breathless, too.

Tom looks down at him for a second, as if debating something with himself, before saying, "and like, not to be horny during a serious moment, but since we're talking about the effects of T... Andy. Andy. Your clit. Fuck. It's so huge now, and it's got a visible head and you can fuck my face and everything, and I could sing it praises for a week and probably will if you don't stop me right now."

"Hmm, but I like it when you sing me praises," he smiles. "Keep going."

"God, I was hoping you'd say that. Do you have any idea how much I've been thinking about it today? I didn't hear a single word anyone said to me, all I could think about was you fucking my face, pulling my hair, making me worship you and beg to be allowed to suck you off, I wanna serve you like you're my God." Tom's hips start to jerk up, more visibly this time, shameless, and see, this is why Andy's been really, really liking this whole denial thing - Tom has only started to explore his subby side recently, a little ashamed of it to admit it to anyone, even himself. But when he's horny enough, he gets shameless and desperate about what he wants, and god, nothing is more beautiful than Tom when he asks for what he wants. He feels something growing inside of him, not sure if it's warmth or heat, but seeing Tom like that, wanting him, needing him, definitely makes him feel so much better.

"Yeah?" Andy asks, tracing a finger over Tom's shoulder, close to his neck, just to give him goosebumps.

"Fuck yes, I want it so bad, and you deserve it too, Andy… Sir. You're the best Sir I could ask for, I just want… Want you to use me, want you to cum on me, want to kiss you all over and worship you and pleasure you, you're so gorgeous..." He hides his face in Andy's shoulder for a bit, but his hips don't stop moving. He whines, "Andy..."

"Address me properly," Andy snaps, feeling the edges of worry clear from his mind and giving way to that wonderful feeling of clear-mindedness, of power, where nothing matters but his own pleasure. "And maybe I'll give you what you want, if you earn it."

Tom nods, hips full on thrusting now, and Andy snaps again. "Stay still."

And he does, immediately, without question, biting his lip and keeping his eyes shut with effort. Andy can feel his thighs clenching and spasming over his, trying to keep himself from moving, trying to be good. He hums in appreciation, but doesn't praise him for it, not yet.

"I'll get you ready," Andy explains, before reaching to Tom's hair, and starts to undo his bun, as slow as possible, just to watch him squirm. He gets so impatient when Andy undresses him, which is why Andy never misses a chance to drag it out.

He begins by removing Tom's jacket, sliding his hands slowly over his shoulders, then down his back, feeling the firm muscle there, digging his nails just a little bit so he can see Tom's eyes flutter in bliss. When the jacket falls to the floor, Andy begins circling the hem of his shirt, sliding until his hands are back on front, fingers just close enough to Tom's cock for him to feel Tom tense in his hands, so damn sensitive to his touch, so needy. God, he can't get enough of this, but he pretends that he doesn't notice, lets Tom try and keep himself together as Andy's hands slide over his belly, then chest, over the shirt, collarbone, wrapping and resting on Tom's throat just so he feels the threat of it, before Andy finally grabs the back of the shirt's collar and tugs, taking it off. Then he slides his hands back down, making sure to run a finger just over the sensitive spot where his pecs end, then lower, over his ribcage, belly, hips, next to the bruises where Andy had grabbed him the night before, then back to the middle, just over the bulge in his pants, and Tom finally breaks and jerks up slightly, letting out a little moan.

"Sir," he whines, "please, please, I-" Andy continues to circle the head of his cock with his finger, "please!"

"Patience," is all he says, before going back to his painfully light movements, imagining Tom's needy cock twitching under his fingers, imagining the effort Tom makes not to thrust up or keep begging for more, just because Andy told him not to. "You know how much I like playing with your pretty little cock. You said you wanted to serve me, didn't you?"

"Yes- yes, Sir."

He hums, noncommittally, not looking at him. "Good." He teases the tip of his clothed cock some more, enjoying the way his mind zeroes on that, the way he feels like he has all the power and the time in the world. Finally, he pats Tom's thigh once. "Get off, and take off the rest of your clothes. Get the lube and a condom."

Tom gets up, a little shaky, and does as instructed, while Andy reaches down to the drawer under the bed where he keeps his dick's spine and a few of their toys. He gets the spine, then adjusts his packer briefs so he can put it on - best purchase of his life, really, those briefs. So much easier to use than a regular strap-on and it makes the packer sit over his clit just right, making a little suction and pressure. Andy couldn't be happier that he was already wearing them.

Tom gets back with everything he asked right in time for Andy to finish making his dick hard, and goes on to put the condom on and cover Andy's cock in lube with the kind of attention that makes Andy hold his breath. Tom's so careful, yet eager, and adoring, about it. Andy feels like the hottest guy in the world.

Once he gets permission, Tom sits on his cock, slowly, getting adjusted to it - admittedly, Andy went a little overboard when he bought his first cock. Andy waits until Tom is fully seated, littering his neck with little kisses and praise for how well he's taking him, how pretty he looks, until Tom looks fully comfortable and ready to start complaining if Andy doesn't start fucking him in earnest soon. That's when Andy shows him the other item he pulled from the drawer - Tom's favorite collar.

Tom's reaction is instantaneous. He throws his head back, moving over Andy's cock as he lets out a breathless, almost choked moan; the hands he had resting on Andy's shoulders suddenly squeezing full force in his need.

"God, you're such a whore," Andy says, casually, and Tom nods, even as he flushes. The collar is just a simple black one, with a little hoop for the leash, but inside they had it engraved with the words Andy's whore, and it left visible marks that could be seen for a few hours after they took it off. It never failed to drive Tom crazy, so it always drove Andy crazy, too. "Stay still," he warns, and Tom nods, breathing heavily, gripping Andy's shoulder as tight as he can as he stays frozen in place. Andy slowly puts it around his neck, checking with his finger to make sure it's not too tight, and the second he clasps it in place, Tom's whole body relaxes, a content little sigh escaping his lips, his face slack and blissed out. He likes being owned, so much. Andy can't get enough of it. "Good?" he asks, just to make sure it's not too tight.

"Perfect," Tom answers, the words leaving him in a sigh. Andy then ties the leash to the headboard, making sure that they're just far enough from it that he'll be feeling its pull the whole time. Tom lets out a moan. "Thank you, Sir."

Andy smirks. "Now, here's what I want you to do," he says, "you're going to ride me, just like that, and you're not going to come until I tell you to. You're definitely not going to come before I do. If you come close, you'll have to tell me. I want to hear you scream, so make as much noise as you want. Do you understand?"

Tom nods again, almost dizzyingly quick. "Yes, Sir."

"Good, then get to it."

Tom doesn't need to be told twice. He starts riding him, slowly at first, trying to find the perfect angle for Andy - not himself, Andy notices, pleased. Once it's perfect, Andy orders, "faster, slut,” and Tom obeys, as always, working up speed as he tries to keep himself upright, feeling the tug of his leash with every movement, moaning the whole time. “Good boy,” Andy says, and Tom’s responding whine is high pitched, embarrassing, needy. He gets even faster then, starting to babble as he keeps on working, and Andy just stays casually in place, not having to do a single thing while Tom works to give him pleasure.

"Fuck, you're so perfect, did you know that?" Tom asks, quickly sliding down on Andy's cock, making sure he puts all this weight in the end so Andy's cock will press down against his clit just the way he likes, making sure to go as deep as possible, "I've been dreaming of your cock for days, god, Sir, nothing's better than this," he hides his face in Andy's shoulder, speeding up even more, thighs shaking with the effort, and Andy puts a fist in his hair and pulls, watching as Tom throws his head back and lets out a scream, working even faster on Andy's cock. "Sir!," he whines, "oh, thank you, thank you, feels so good, oh my god, please, I'm gonna-"

"No, you won't," Andy interrupts, "I'm not even close to coming yet. Keep working, slut."

"Y-yes, Sir," he whines, going faster, deeper, and Andy makes it harder for him, keeps pulling at his hair to expose his neck, litters kisses and bites on his exposed throat, grabs his thigh and squeezes hard enough to bruise so Tom remembers he's his, his whore, his toy.

"I love it when you get like this," Andy says, doing his best to keep his tone even, even as he's a little breathless from pleasure, from power, "I bet you want to come so bad, don't you? If I'd just give you the word, you'd be making a mess of yourself, coming on my cock right now-"

"Fuck! Yes, yes, Sir, please, I'm so close."

Andy smiles. "No."

Tom whines, so cute, adorable, and Andy is nice enough to leave a little kiss on his shoulder, grounding, calming him down. Before going right back to torturing him, "no, you don't get to come for a long time yet. I want you just like this, on edge, tasting it…" Andy grins. "Tell me how close you are, baby."

"I'm- I'm so close-"

Andy slaps him in the face. "You can do better than that."

"Fuck, I feel like I'm going to explode, I'm so close, I want it so bad, and you feel so good, God, you have no idea what you do to me, Sir, your cock is so perfect, it hurts, I need it- need to cum on your cock, Sir, please-"

"No."

Tom chokes on a moan, and starts to go even faster. He lets out a little whine, something Andy thinks was supposed to be a word, but doesn't come close.

"See," Andy says, "this is why I won't let you come. Look at you - every time I tell you no, you get so desperate, so obedient - it's what you want, isn't it? You want me to keep telling you no, you want to know your pleasure doesn't matter, that you're just here to serve me."

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes-"

"Good, then keep going. And beg all you want- I like telling you no, too."

Tom does. He begs, and he says thank you when Andy denies him, again and again and again. Thank you, Sir, thank you for using me, for putting me in my place, I'm yours, I'm yours. And he keeps on praising Andy, praising his cock, his body, the way he fucks him and uses him, no one else makes me feel like this, no one deserves to be worshipped and served like you, Sir, I want to make you feel good-... Until even the clear-minded state of domspace begins to crumble and Andy feels nothing but pleasure, and confidence, and power, and he cums to the sound of Tom praising him and begging, once, twice, three times, until his head is clear again and everything, even the need to chase his own pleasure, is gone, and he just feels perfect.

"Stop," he orders Tom, who's still babbling more and more incoherently, endless praise and worship, and Andy finds that he worships Tom right back. "I want you to get my cock as deep inside you as you can, and stay still. I'm going to play with your dick for a while, and when I tell you to, you can come. You did well today, baby."

Tom nods, suddenly struggling to use his words. "T-thank you, Sir," he says, already frozen in place, thighs clenching with the effort not to move and also shaking with all the effort he did before.

Andy coos. "Poor baby. You were so good to me today. Let me take care of you."

"You always- always do, Sir," Tom replies, and Andy smiles.

He gives Tom a long, slow handjob, making sure Tom stays still through it, enjoying the way his thighs shake on top of Andy's, the pressure of Tom sitting tight on his cock, the way his arms also shake with effort where they rest around Andy's neck; Tom's pretty, exposed throat all marked up around his collar, his breathless little whines as Andy makes sure to do it just the way he likes it, makes his cock turn red with need; watches Tom bite his lip, because when he has to keep still he becomes so quiet and needy, even as the little whines go through his lips… Until Andy finally says, "come for me, baby," and Tom screams through an orgasm that lasts almost a minute, hanging on to Andy as tightly as he can to keep himself anchored through the pleasure.

And then Andy holds him, and Tom holds him back, and they hold each other.

----

A while later, they've cleaned up Tom's cum so it doesn't get all sticky on Andy's chest, and Andy's finally taken off those damn briefs - they're great for sex, but get pretty tight when you wear them for a long time - and Andy holds Tom against his chest. He's humming, contently, and if anyone had told him at the beginning of the day that he'd be comfortable enough to have someone close to him while he's fully naked, he'd - well, probably assume they meant Tom, but still be skeptical.

"How do you feel?" Tom asks after a little while, finally opening up his eyes and saying hello to the world.

"That's supposed to be my line," Andy laughs.

"I feel great. Perfect. Next time, I wanna do it for longer. A week? Let's try a week. Or two weeks…?"

Andy laughs. "Let's not make too big of a leap yet."

"Fine. A week sounds good. Great. And now that we've established that denial is totally bomb for me, how are you feeling?"

"Honestly? I'm feeling great, too," Andy admits, playing with a little stray of Tom's hair, swirling it around his finger, "I think I needed that, a little bit. Who'd have thought that having you ride me and praise my cock cures dysphoria."

"Every trans top on every forum I've ever visited."

"Let me have my moment of realization," Andy mumbles, faux-annoyed. Tom just laughs, holding him closer.

"I'm just glad I could help," he says.

"Please tell me you didn't ride my cock just to help."

"Well, no, in case you hadn't noticed, I was horny as fuck. I just tried to, you know. Use that to give you a little push. Since you wanted to. Y'know. Also, it was all true. So..."

"Thanks, love," Andy says, earnestly. "I love you."

"I love you more."

They bicker about it, and Andy's smiling the rest of the day.

#it lives #tom sato #tomoichi sato #andy kang #tom x andy #andy x tom #it lives in the woods #ilitw #it lives beneath #ilb #it lives anthology #smut #i am back on my bullshit ig

[phis-corner]

Chloe and/or Kagami?

character asks!

First impression

Chloe: your stereotypical high school bully, I guess. was literally designed for the viewer to dislike her, and I did, because she was a combination of every person who’s ever bullied me in school.

Kagami: the stereotypical asian child portrayed in western media. perfect grades, insanely talented, never loses, doesn’t have a social life or social skills, etc etc. I love her because I can relate to her but also Ass-truck did this because he’s a racist scumbag and he can go set himself on fire because not all Asian kids are like this.

Impression now

Chloe: canon is being fucking terrible to her and I hate it because they gave her a shot at redemption. and she was doing really good at trying to be a better person too, and then they just shot it all down for no good reason. so yeah, I hate canon Chloe because she’s a bitch.

Kagami: that poor child has grown up under a woman who rules her household with an iron fist and has no fucking idea what qualities she should look for in a romantic partner, as proven by her ‘crush’ on Adrien. she likes him because she believes he’s perfect, and so together, they’ll make the best match because she’s also perfect. there are so many things wrong with that dfkjdfjdf

Favorite moment

Chloe: when she went “SORRY, DADDY” and then Venom’ed her own father. granted, he was akumatized at the time, but still. iconic.

Kagami: those precious awkward smiles on the bridge during that one episode where Marinette and Kagami had to work together for friendship day or something

Idea for a story

Chloe: one of these days, I want to give this girl a happy ending. I don’t know what kind of happy ending because I suck at happy endings, but she fucking deserves one.

Kagami: she completely snaps and rebels against her mother, doing everything she’d never been allowed to do and actually starts acting her age and not like a mature adult because she’s just a fucking kid stop putting so much pressure on her. either ends up with Luka or realizes she’s aroace because I honestly like it either way since Luka is a great guy.

Unpopular opinion

Chloe: uhhh idk what’s what in terms of popularity but that girl needs therapy and a lesson in empathizing with other human beings (and coming from the autistic person who lowkey cannot empathize with others, that’s bad)

Kagami: definitely not an unpopular opinion and it’s not really about Kagami but THE DRAGON MIRACULOUS SHOULDN’T BE THE MIRACULOUS OF FUCKING PERFECTION, ASS-TRUCK. THE POWERS ARE WIND, WATER, AND LIGHTING. DOES THAT LOOK LIKE PERFECTION? IT SHOULD BE THE FUCKING ELEMENTS, OR WEATHER, BUT NOOOOO ASS-TRUCK HAS TO GO AND BE EVEN MORE RACIST BECAUSE HAVING KAGAMI BE YOUR STEREOTYPICAL ASIAN CHILD WASN’T ENOUGH, YOU HAD TO MAKE HER MIRACULOUS SYMBOLIZE PERFECTION EVEN THOUGH IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE-

kay i’m done now

Favorite relationship

Chloe: honestly i don’t like the way Chloe interacts with anyone in her life, but the butler dude whose name has Jean in it does his best I think.

Kagami: Kagami and Marinette’s relationship is so underrated

Favorite headcanon

Chloe: idk i don’t think about her all that much tbh

Kagami: she’s actually very very not attracted to Adrien but she just doesn’t know what romantic attraction is yet because her mother is apparently incapable of affection like my parents no offense to Tomoe Tsurugi because I’m sure she does her best though. some people are just emotionally constipated

#asked and answered #ask game #arin :D

[maiolica-admirer]

Life beyond the chaotic gremlin

Nomura is a type of person where if you took her at face value, you would easily miss the facets that make up who she is beyond the "would totally stab you in your sleep" which while that is a big part of her character (Plus being a genuinely chaotic and sarcastic gremlin) there is more than that. And it all starts with the humble introduction.

When we first see her it is when she's selling the wonders of history that can be found in her fine establishment that despite it being a cover at no point... sounds fake. She really sounds like she loves this like a special interest, particularly by sneaking in a mention of her clear beloved renaissance era pottery, and it's coming from someone who has lived through it and still standing well enough to appreciate these creations humans have recorded and left behind over time. She's apparently oblivious to everyone but Eli's excitement and looks genuinely surprised when Strickler cuts her off before glaring at him. This is re-enforced later when she returns to the museum (Which I fudge earlier for this blog, natch) where that is very clearly not fake enjoyment. Left to her own devices she's enjoying the hell out of being back there again, checking the tapestries and setting up a new exhibit before Ursuna shows up. In the hilarious contrast to Strickler, she has a tendency towards the arts from these little snippets we're allowed to see while being the more battle hungry of the pair of them.

Lets face it, Nomura is an incredibly dangerous changeling if you have been chosen as a target. Specialising in the hunt and ambush, unsettling her target with a bit of dramatics (Changelings) and she is exceptionally good at it with bar one blip we know about before the series starts clearly put her in a high enough stead to protect THE Killahead Bridge. Someone stumbles over it somehow? Come hell or high water you know Nomura will terminate the problem as she will not accept anything less. Her fighting style focuses on using her twin khopesh as both defensive and very fast striking offense, abusing her natural agility for vaulting tactics and adapting to the battle arena, powerful kicks and she's completely unafraid to use her TEETH if that's what it takes to gain an advantage. From Unbecoming, "We better hurry, we're missing all the fun~" she seriously lives for this and the museum role is chill out time between doing a job she loves so very much. It gives me the impression of her loyalty being garnered through letting her go to town and a future dream of freedom that still allows her to do as she wishes. She's happy enough in that position and has no visible ambitions to go beyond that or being on Bular babysitting duty.

There is no love for humans either that much is clear, their things sure, but being Asian appearing even after women's rights came through little would have changed for her in the west. Humans just as racist as trolls, throw them under the damn bus for all she cares.

Her biggest weakness stems from this very thing however, namely that of her pride. She underestimated Jim (Understandably), immediately changed tactics when he got a strike on her just for the human Trollhunter to escape with his friend through sheer luck. Having to limp into the museum after being assailed by goblins, politely chastised by Strickler and having to scramble a way to keep her hide before Bular kills her? It's no wonder Jim ended up on her shit list for that one.

But did you notice what she did when she went after him the first time?

She left Barbara alone.

Nomura found out this was a single mother household (I do wonder if that slipped when at the police station or Strickler off handed mentioned how his school job was going) and acted accordingly so that the non-threat would not prevent her from for her going after her true enemy but also would not harm her (Physically) in the longer term. She very carefully planned this out using the angle of Barbara's expectations over the museum, the hospitality and yet again she likely would have succeeded in her hunt if not for unexpected circumstances in the form of Draal.

Draal is a whole THING and I want to dedicated an entire post to that.

The next big moment of course is when we see her in the Darklands after presuming she was killed after being sucked in there and we are witness to someone who's will is so horribly broken and gleefully mocks Jim's concept of a rescue and having hope as what the hell is that word to a changeling? She was "born" here, she will die here whenever the Warlord decides he's bored of punishment. She had literally been confronted with the harsh reality Strickler long figured out on his own of how the second they stop being useful they are disposable no matter what your reputation and prior deeds. That said, she goes and does something very out of character for her that really drives home how much of a mess she's in from having her dream crushed so utterly and becoming trapped more than ever before with a side order of beatings and torture.

Be it on a whim or out of sheer pity, she decides to help spare Jim's life.

And that! Is her turning point! And in her relationship with the Trollhunter!

They bond over things they miss from the surface, her love of the Peer Gynt play explaining why it's her hunting music and then the very strange notion that this idiotic child she has tried to murder repeatedly refuses to leave her behind when he gets out because it wouldn't be the right thing to do. It completely throws her as, why? Changelings will throw one another under to survive, hell humans do it too even without potential stabbing! She doesn't believe it for a second mind, but she lets him have his thoughts and concedes everyone needs hope in the Darklands as he's earned his right to have it.

It is even to the point she'll throw her life down in a fight so he'll live. That she'll fight Gunmar (!!) with a single blade to let them all get out of there including two trolls she definitely doesn't give a damn about and two kids she's likely only tolerating to keep in Jim's favour. To fall for a nice dream while it lasted and buy them time despite now on a broken fetlock too. She's a changeling, they don't deserve hope or chances. They can only think of a dream in the distant future and surviving the current day and this is the end of hers.

Then the weirdest thing happens. Jim keeps his promise and hauls them out of there instead of leaving her to die. Draal of all trolls that could do this it is probably the one that really would throw her for an even bigger loop than escaping the damn Darklands, offers her the kindness of his arm while she is at her most vulnerable and helps her away without any judgement.

To say her world got upended is a vast understatement.

~~~

[[WELL THE MUN WENT ON A BIT OF A TANGENT. I want to go on one about her relationship with Draal and her one with Strickler as well if that’s something peeps would be interested in at some point?]]

#From the archives - Headcanons

[mr-kamiyama]

Quick thoughts about Digimon:

I tuned in one morning I wasn't working, which was rare at that job I was at at the time, caught 02 ep 10, and was hooked. I later realised the writer of all the Dark Ocean content was Konaka Chiaki, whose work I generally like, so no surprise there.

I gotta say, they probably should've just gone with 「相棒」 for partner. This word is usually a partner in context of a business partner or police partner--in fact, a show called just that has been running for the entire 21st century about detective partners (and it's a pretty good show. I've seen it be sympathetic to the plight of undocumented immigrants, for one)

Using "partner" the English loanword...well, the context I really hear it in is same-gender partner.

Now, mind you, I only figured things out as an adult, and native Japanese speakers here are and always have been treated pretty miserably. (Which is why "exotic Japanese garnish for my human default English" is very, very much rubbing your priveledge in our faces, incredibly offensive, but hey, y'all also repost Japanese fanworks without permission to the point many delete their accounts and give up because y'all are so married to the idea we're not people, which frankly, y'all's treatment of queer men in fandom is equally garbage)

But the reason that point is mentioned is that we're so sidelined, it's hard to even find and connect with each other (e.g. SF Japantown only has Japanese speaking clerks on one floor of Kinokuniya where the books in Japanese for us are kept. It's now "look Asian for the tourists") so a lot of us end up having trouble accessing random words in our own language because we're so used to either no one around us speaking it or bad consequences when we break our English with Japanese.

So, as I've never experienced queer life in Japan, and Japanese immigrants commonly end up yoyoing back to English, I'm not entirely sure "partner" the loanword is the only way to express same-gender partner as opposed to just the only one I've heard.

It does stand that it is *a* way. (Well, obviously, you could still use terms like "boyfriend" or "wife" but think the same as English speakers use it)

When watching 02, it's pretty easy to not go there because they're so young, and interact with the digimon during downtime like siblings, as the digimon are children as well (and you can't tell me that Wormmon isn't spot on for a younger brother in an abuse situation caring for an older brother)

Tailmon isa bit different, and obviously more mature, but ep 10 was the only Hikari-centric episode, and I never really had the desire to go back and watch Adventure. I don't feel like it had something for older viewers like I got out of 02-Frontier (Savers was intentionally about older viewers, and it was like a Doogie Howser/Men in Black/Digimon crossover, and I love it. And it had adults and even an elderly character with Digimon partners! Yay for useful adults!) so I admittedly can't decisively say about Tailmon.

But the rest do seem like siblings to their human children. And they're pointedly all children.

But just now, I was watching the new short, To Sora.

I have to say, as Piyomon has an adult voice, and Sora is an adult, my mind definitely went to "maybe the nomenclature could be better."

I do also have to say that I'm rather disappointed that they're ending this with "adults can't be Chosen anymore." At least there'll always be Savers, and maybe someday, I'll have enough of my massive dual-prong Digimon and Bleach project up that I can call it "extant" (I'm having a handful of the Bleach gang become Chosen as well as Osamu put into a gigai, and if you know Bleach, just imagine Coyote Starrk getting a new friend. Of course, he still has Lillynette and also adopts most of the Arrancar as his own children, but yes, Coyote gets a Digimon friend, too. And they're specifically trying calling adults because the kids keep getting too traumatised)

Ah, things run away from me.

But yes, especially with adult chosen and digimon, "partner" the loanword with no qualifier (i.e. "partner digimon") sounds like something else entirely to my queer mind www

And also "boo" for usefulness having an age limit. I wouldn't be saying this if this weren't specifically being aimed at fans who grew up with Adventure, and, while younger than me, are still well into adulthood. Cross Wars or the reboot have no reason to concern themselves with adult viewership, but Kizuna is being made for adults. So "end of childhood=end of your ability to be a hero" seems kinda... Even if they're just trying to end the original Adventure franchise, seems like a...they can do it better.

While no, Ken's and Daisuke's parents and Jun really *don't* deserve love, just... I dunno, there's just a deluge of teen heroes with powers and some immortal hero stories, but there's not a whole lot of the kind of adults you see in Savers. Yeah, they're side characters, but I'll take what I can get. Kizuna's approach is more common, which is a shame now that the average fan is roughly 29.

(Doesn't it also mess up the whole making the epilogue make any sense, what with everyone being with their digimon in that?)

(And for that matter, I would've loved 02 parents to have names, and maybe they could've gone into Miyako's more. She seems like she has a solid family. We see Ken explaining the digimon, and his parents exploited him until he had a breakdown. Heck, his dad continues to jump down his throat over things. Why couldn't Miyako's get some love? Why can't we see Miyako explaining digimon to her family and stay up all night with her older siblings hanging on her every word? Which considering how much real life kids get sorta discounted when two adults are talking (which I'll often just walk past and wave to the kid, so they know someone sees them) might have actually been an empowering fantasy for viewers. And a really great balance to Daisuke and Ken's home lives. (The kids with unpleasant families feel represented and empowered because they can still be heroes, but kids can also have the empowerment of watching Miyako's whole family, of which she is the baby, hanging on her words

(Also, why can't we see how someone from that family could enjoy the company of someone who slaps her kid brother around? And has some kind of stalker complex? Sure, it's stuff I can make answers for myself in my project, just like the initial reason to cross them was explaining the Dark Ocean, but I really would've loved something in canon about them)

Typically, adults in any kind of action hero story--let's look at Star Wars. The people who raised Luke are non-combatants. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda (an older Muppet, but older still stands) are just there as mentors, like Urahara in Bleach. It's really on Luke's shoulders. Han Solo is as old as a hero gets, and he's pretty young himself. (I've seen the original trilogy, and it was forever ago, so if Luke Skywalker is actually a teenager, forgive the error)

You don't see anyone between 20 year old hero and 60 year old mentor doing much of anything. Buddy cops are the only exception to this.

Shame that digimon is gonna follow that pattern instead of buck the trend, especially now that their fanbase is getting older. I dunno how much of a letdown the apparent Kizuna narrative is for a 29 year old as opposed to someone who wasn't even a kid when it was new, but I'm sure it's there. Even if I am decidedly older than that, I can't be the only one disappointed by it. If I thought I was, I wouldn't make this post.

And it kinda messes up using this to make the epilogue make any sense. When it was first revealed that Yamato suddenly became an astronaut, Gabumon was there with him on Mars. So on and so forth, and all humans had partners. Which naturally includes all the people over 23.

I guess we'll always have Satuma and Kudamon. (Miki and Megumi are nice too, and are also teetering on the edge of canon ship, which it's nice to see queer female fans get that, but they do seem like they're in their early to mid 20s, which arguably puts them at the end of typical "useful age range")

I'd love to already have an alternative up, but for now, I only have a few Bleach prequel one shots posted and over 800 pages of bullet point notes.

#digimon #digimon 02 #digimon kizuna #ageism in media #aging fanbase

[lastsonlost]

Aziz? redemption ?

AZIZ DIDN’T FUCKING DO ANY GOD DAMN THING WRONG!!!!!!

God, I love being white,” said Louis C.K.

“Here’s how great it is to be white,” the comedian went on: “I could get in a time machine, and go to any time, and it would be fucking awesome when I get there. That is exclusively a white privilege.”

The bit, part of his 2008 special Chewed Up, was emblematic of C.K.’s approach: poking fun at the inequalities of American society, while simultaneously acknowledging the ways they benefited him.

Contrast that with a set he performed in December 2018, a little over a year after he admitted to masturbating in front of women without their consent. During the December appearance, apparently at a comedy club on Long Island, C.K. joked that Asian men are “all women” and poked fun at school shooting survivors and gender-nonconforming teenagers, according to BuzzFeed News.

“They tell you what to call them,” he complained of teens who use the pronouns they/them. “Oh, OK. You should address me as ‘there’ because I identify as a location. And the location is your mother’s cunt.”

Imagine thinking the best way to resurrect your career after admitting to sexual misconduct is to mock trans people and Parkland gun violence survivors.

2018, during which his standup special and the wide release of his film I Love You, Daddy were canceled, seems to have wrought a change in C.K. Where once his comedy offered a fresh look at established power structures, he now seems set on ranting about kids today and their pronoun choices.

Fellow comedian Aziz Ansari has followed a similar trajectory. He once decried sexual harassment in his act — and addressed the issue in a nuanced way on his show Master of None. But in 2017, a woman told the website Babe.net that he had pressured her for sex — Ansari said he had believed everything that happened between them was “completely consensual,” and that he was “surprised and concerned” by her account. 

After the incident, his comedy took on a different tone: In a fall 2018 appearance, he made fun of online debates about cultural appropriation and complained that nowadays, “everyone weighs in on everything,” according to the New Yorker.

The bigotry in C.K.’s set is disturbing, especially coming from someone who seemed at one time to have a relatively clear understanding of how power works in America. But what is also striking about C.K. and Ansari’s post-#MeToo material is its banality. Before they were publicly accused, these men wrestled with thorny questions of identity and power in ways that, while not always satisfying, were usually thought-provoking. After the allegations, they began parroting tired complaints about political correctness.

Of the many people accused of sexual misconduct as part of the #MeToo movement, C.K. and Ansari seemed like they might be uniquely equipped to reckon with the allegations against them, perhaps even adding something to the public conversation around #MeToo. Instead, they have retreated into boring and offensive stereotypes, perhaps playing to those who never thought they did anything wrong.

We’re all worse off for their decision, missing out on the art C.K. and Ansari might have created if they’d been willing to really face their accusations, and robbed of the opportunity to see two intelligent and thoughtful men really wrestle with the implications of #MeToo. In a time when more and more of the accused mull their comebacks, it’s natural to wonder what real redemption — complete with an acknowledgment of harm and a commitment to atonement — might look like. Apparently, Louis C.K. and Aziz Ansari will not be the ones to show us.

Louis C.K. used to talk about violence against women. Now he makes fun of genderqueer teens.

Before #MeToo, Louis C.K. was beloved by many for his often self-lacerating comedy. In his standup and on the autobiographical FX show Louie, he portrayed himself as a sad-sack weirdo disturbed by his own sexual urges — he once called himself a “prisoner” of “sexual perversion.”

C.K.’s work could be offensive, as when he complained that he missed being able to use a homophobic slur (and claimed, unconvincingly, that the way he used it had nothing to do with homophobia). But some hailed his comedy as feminist, and he showed a remarkable ability to mine humor from the dangers and biases women face — a difficult feat for a male comic.

“How do women still go out with guys when you consider that there is no greater threat to women than men?” he asked in a 2013 special. “We’re the number one threat to women! Globally and historically, we’re the number one cause of injury and mayhem to women.”

But C.K. was also the subject of long-simmering sexual misconduct rumors — and in November 2017, four women told the New York Times that he had masturbated in front of them or asked them to watch him masturbate (a fifth said that he masturbated while on a phone call with her).

In a move that remains unusual among men accused as part of #MeToo, C.K. admitted to the allegations against him. “These stories are true,” he said in a statement to the New York Times.

“I have spent my long and lucky career talking and saying anything I want,” he added. “I will now step back and take a long time to listen.”

But as many have pointed out, the listening didn’t last very long. C.K. was back onstage in September 2018, less than a year after his pledge to step back. In an October appearance at the West Side Comedy Club in New York, he addressed the fallout from his sexual misconduct revelations, saying he’d been to “hell and back” and that he’d “lost $35 million in an hour.”

While many were critical of C.K.’s comeback attempt, West Side Comedy Club host AMarie Castillo told the comedy website LaughSpin that the comic “was so genuine and reflected on how weird his year was” in his October appearance. “Sounds to me he is owning up, acknowledging, and trying to figure it out,” she said.

But in a December set, he didn’t sound much like someone trying to figure anything out. In audio posted on YouTube, apparently from an appearance at the Governor’s Comedy Club on Long Island on December 16, C.K. poked fun at gender-nonconforming youth, Parkland school shooting survivors, and Asian men, among other groups. (The club was unable to confirm to BuzzFeed that C.K. was there that night, though multiple people posted on Instagram that they had seen him perform there.)

“You know why Asian guys have small dicks,” he said at one point, according to Patrick Smith and Amber Jamieson of BuzzFeed. “’Cause they’re women. They’re not dudes. They’re all women. All Asians are women.”

C.K. also said he thought it was ridiculous that the term “retarded” was now viewed as inappropriate, Smith and Jamieson reported. When some listeners appeared shocked, he responded, “Fuck it, what are you going to take away, my birthday? My life is over, I don’t give a shit.”

C.K. has not responded to a request for comment from Vox.

Aziz Ansari once included a sexual harassment storyline on his show. Now he’s complaining about Twitter outrage.

Ansari’s comedy has always been more lighthearted than C.K.’s, but he hasn’t shied away from difficult topics. In a 2015 Netflix special filmed at New York’s Madison Square Garden, he asked women in the audience to raise their hands if they’d ever been followed by a “creepy dude,” according to Eren Orbey at the New Yorker.

“Yeah, that’s way too many people,” he said when hands went up. “That should not be happening.”

The second season of his Netflix show, Master of None, also included a storyline about sexual misconduct. Ansari’s character, Dev, teams up with celebrity chef Jeff Pastore (Bobby Cannavale) for a show called Best Food Friends. But Dev is forced to make a choice when a female crew member reveals that Chef Jeff repeatedly harassed her. The episode, which aired before #MeToo gained steam in fall 2017, felt true to life, as Isha Aran pointed out at Splinter, “from the fears victims face in going public to the misogynist skepticism they’re met with when they share their stories.”

But in January 2018, a woman going by the name Grace told the website Babe.net that Ansari had repeatedly pressured her for sex while the two were on a date. She called it “by far the worst experience with a man I’ve ever had.”

“We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual,” Ansari said in a statement on the allegations last January. “The next day, I got a text from her saying that although ‘it may have seemed okay,’ upon further reflection, she felt uncomfortable. It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned.”

“I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture,” Ansari concluded, presumably referring to #MeToo. “It is necessary and long overdue.”

By fall 2018, however, his tone sounded different. In a Connecticut stop on his “Working Out New Material” comeback tour, he complained about Twitter users debating whether a teenager’s prom dress constituted cultural appropriation, according to Orbey.

“Everyone weighs in on everything,” he said. “They don’t know anything. People don’t wanna just say, ‘I don’t know.’”

He also decried “the destructive performativity of Internet activism and the fickle, ever-changing standards of political correctness,” according to Orbey. He compared left-wing Twitter users to Trump supporters (“at least with the Trump people,” he said, “I kinda know where they stand”) and accused them of competing with one another in a game of “Progressive Candy Crush.”

“One might have hoped that, nearly a year later, [Ansari] could find a way to reckon with one of the movement’s messiest lessons: that even men who wish to serve as allies of women can, intentionally or not, hurt them in private,” Orbey wrote. “Instead, like other men who have reëmerged in recent months, he seems to have channelled his experience into a diffuse bitterness.”

Ansari has not responded to Vox’s request for comment.

If C.K. and Ansari can’t reckon with the allegations against them, can anyone?

Allegations of sexual misconduct against C.K. and Ansari hit fans hard in part because of the thoughtful nature of their comedy — these were supposed to be the good guys.

The accusations prompted fans and critics to reevaluate both men’s work. At Splinter, Aran notes that despite its sexual harassment storyline, Master of None’s second season displays some underlying misogyny. Dev’s relationship with love interest Francesca, in particular, sends the message “that a woman’s initial reluctance can be chipped away at, that indifference is a wall to be torn down.”

C.K., meanwhile, had been telling masturbation jokes for years. As Melena Ryzik, Cara Buckley, and Jodi Kantor reported at the New York Times, “he rose to fame in part by appearing to be candid about his flaws and sexual hang-ups, discussing and miming masturbation extensively in his act — an exaggerated riff that some of the women feel may have served as a cover for real misconduct.” His film I Love You, Daddy, which was initially scheduled for release in November 2017, dealt with a relationship between a famous filmmaker and a 17-year-old girl.

And C.K.’s December set does recall some of his earlier work — the man who complained about teens today and their pronouns is clearly the same one, for instance, who expressed nostalgia for a time when he could use homophobic slurs without being criticized.

Still, C.K. and Ansari were somewhat unusual as male entertainers willing to delve into issues of power and privilege and talk about the ways men hurt women.

That’s what makes their current material so surprising. Ansari and C.K. aren’t just avoiding the subject of #MeToo — they’re going in the opposite direction, complaining about political correctness and outrage culture when their comedy once sent the message that women were absolutely right to be outraged.

Their new work is reactionary — crude jokes about Asian men wouldn’t be out of place at a Trump rally — and it’s dated. C.K.’s complaints about they/them pronouns aren’t just offensive; they’re also tired, well-worn platitudes parroted by everyone from psychologist Jordan Peterson to TV host Piers Morgan. C.K. may think his new material is edgy, but his rant about young people today sounds like it could come from Grandpa Simpson.

Some have speculated that C.K. is consciously courting a more right-leaning audience with his new material after losing the trust of his previous fans, and it’s certainly possible that he and Ansari are pivoting to please the people who were eager to explain away the allegations against them — those who think sexual misconduct only matters if it rises to the level of the allegations against Harvey Weinstein, or who believe that men who are accused deserve swift and unconditional forgiveness.

Whatever the case, the trajectories of C.K. and Ansari are doubly disappointing — first, because men whose work had a feminist bent were accused of hurting women, and second, because they let those accusations destroy the nuanced social awareness their earlier work displayed. Apparently, C.K. and Ansari were only interested in challenging the status quo when they remained unchallenged — once women spoke out against them, they performed the comedic equivalent of packing up their toys and going home.

That’s sad for all of us. We don’t get to see the comedy these men could have created if they’d wanted to face, rather than flee from, our current moment in history. And we don’t get to see two thoughtful entertainers bring their talents to bear on a project that matters to all of us — figuring out what it should look like for men accused as part of #MeToo to apologize, atone, and move forward.

Ever since the #MeToo movement gained mainstream attention in 2017, there’s been a lot of talk about what accused men can do to redeem themselves. Now, more than a year in, it’s certainly possible to imagine some of the accused truly reckoning with their pasts — Dan Harmon’s apology for sexually harassing a writer on his show offers a view of what that might look like. But it’s hard to hold out much hope for such a reckoning on a large scale when two men who seemed like they, of all people, might be able to look deeply at their own behavior have instead chosen to pander to those who would excuse them.

______________________

AZIZ DIDN’T FUCKING DO ANY GOD DAMN THING WRONG!!!!!!

[worldticketsandhospitality]

South Korea take step toward redemption with dominant performance in Qatar World Cup qualifier

That South Korea crushed Turkmenistan 5-0 in their Football World Cup qualifying match wasn't an astonishment in itself. The greatest takeaway is that South Korea, as well as beating the group they should beat, looked great doing it. Also, that hasn't generally been the situation with the underachieving public group in ongoing matches.

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The success at Goyang Stadium in Goyang, Gyeonggi Province, kept South Korea at the highest point of Group H in the second round of the Asian capability for the FIFA World Cup 2022. They will play Sri Lanka and Lebanon to wrap up the second round. South Korea entered for this present month enduring an onslaught from their broadly energetic fan base, actually irritated over the country's 3-0 misfortune to Japan.

The score was adequately terrible, and South Korea gave one of their most lazy endeavors in ongoing memory. That is a cardinal sin against Japan, the country's bitterest donning rival. Lead trainer Paulo Bento was likewise in a tough situation, with his apparent absence of strategic adaptability prompting developing requires his excusal.

One win over a plainly overmatched rival will not change the story short-term, yet it's a beginning. South Korea spent by far most of the match in the hostile zone. Turkmenistan swarmed their container and attempted to dwarf South Koreans there. In past matches, South Korea experienced difficulty separating comparably built cautious dividers. For more to know about Qatar World Cup Hospitality Click here

Prior to the second round, South Korea was held to scoreless draws by North Korea and Lebanon and oversaw just a 2-0 triumph over a similar Turkmenistan group in September 2019. On this evening, South Koreans played with more tolerance and self-restraint while blazing their prevalent abilities and making passes in restricted spaces with certainty.

They were determined, even as Turkmen goalkeeper, Rasul Charyyev, remained on his head in the main hall to keep it's anything but a 2-0 match. Objectives for the most part went ahead with incredible passing plays. For the initial marker, it was safeguarded Hong Chul's all-around flawless leave setting behind Hwang Uri-ho's header.

For his second objective of the match in the 72nd moment, Hwang was the recipient of some incredible individual endeavors by Son Heung-min and Kwon Chang-hoon in the hostile zone. Late in the principal half, Nam Tae-he was the "Ready to go," jabbing home a bounce back after Hwang set up Kwon for a low, hard shot. Bento, typically a difficult to-if it's not too much trouble, seat chief, said he was amazingly fulfilled with the outcome.

We executed all that we working on during the week, he said. I'm particularly glad for my players. Scoring five objectives isn't difficult to do against any group. Child, the public group skipper, and Totten ham Hotspur star didn't join the objective scoring fest, yet he satisfied his statement while setting up significantly more than one play.

In his prematch talk with Thursday, Son said he needed to help his partners score objectives as opposed to tracking down the rear of the net himself. As the nation's most talented hostile player, Son reliably drew additional consideration of contradicting safeguards, which made space for different assailants that Son astutely misused. For more to know about Qatar World Cup Hospitality Click here

Bento didn't single out any player for acclaim, be it Son or center-back Kim Young-gown, whom much of the time hopped in on offense and scored a second-half objective. The whole group had an incredible match. What's more, when the group progresses admirably, it will feature singular endeavors, as well, Bento said.

On par with what we were on offense, we likewise worked really hard with our progress guard. At whatever point we lost belonging, we rushed to thwart their counterattack openings. Hwang, who scored an objective in every half, said the group knew the significance of these qualifiers, and it displayed on the pitch on Saturday.

We've been buckling down, and I think we were such a ton preferable in this match over in different matches, as far as our abilities and mental sturdiness, Hwang said. In any case, the second round isn't finished at this point. The following two matches are significantly more significant. We got off to a decent beginning here and we need to keep up with this energy going ahead.

We are offering tickets for Football World Cup 2022 admirers can get Football World Cup Tickets through our trusted online ticketing marketplace. Worldwideticketsandhospitality.com is the most reliable source to book Qatar Football World Cup Hospitality tickets and Football World Cup Hospitality Packages.

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[thesinglesjukebox]

NETTA - TOY

[5.00]

She won Eurovision, but can she win us over?

Jessica Doyle: True story: twenty years ago I got back to Grenoble, after a weekend away with the other kids in my study-abroad group, to find my (Orthodox, Lubbavitcher, Sephardic) host mom grinning. "Israel won Eurovision," she explained. Last I heard at least one of her four kids had moved to Israel with their families; and I worry sometimes, in the face of no direct evidence whatsoever, that such a move had more to do with increasing anti-Semitism in France than with their personal circumstances. (Reading this, written in 2012, made me simultaneously nostalgic and sad. But there's still a Chabad in Grenoble, yay!) And now there's "Toy," which is too gleefully, deliberately mindless to lend itself well to a Zionist analysis -- and God bless, at a time when even poor Natalie frickin' Portman can't pass the Zionist-Enough test, that somebody decided Israel was confident enough to risk a Eurovision anthem that didn't lend itself well to a Zionist analysis. And God bless all those European voters who were willing, at a time when the personal has to be political (and when Lorde's camp apparently can't tell the difference between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem), to forget about boycotting, divesting, and sanctioning for a moment and cluck along. [7]

Jonathan Bogart: During the final ceremony, I thumbnailed Israel's entry as "Meghan Trainor meets Reggie Watts," an uncharitable but not inaccurate reading of Netta's gleefully unhip beat-box looping grafted onto proudly full-figured but otherwise embarrassing empowerment anthems. (I should perhaps have added Beth Ditto for sheer vocal power.) But it was the Wonder Woman line that made me pause, because Israel's soft-power propaganda campaign has had its clearest advocate over the last several years in Gal Gadot. Like Gadot, Netta served her mandatory term in the IDF; unlike her, she served exclusively in military bands. It would be foolish to reduce my response to Netta entirely to her nation's crimes (if it came to that, few of us could escape judgment), but I can't help wondering how complicit she, and all of us (I saw Wonder Woman opening weekend), are. [5]

Leonel Manzanares de la Rosa: I love the fact that Netta's "Toy" won Eurovision, yet I hate the idea of Israel hosting next year. The most brilliant track conquered Europe, rightfully, but I have a huge problem with my favorite music event of the year taking place in an apartheid state. That being said, there's so much going on in the song, and it's all so freakin' exciting, I don't know exactly where to begin. Okay, the song is built around a vocal looper, and Netta's incredible acrobatics, chicken noises, percussive clicks and sheer rhythmic brilliance, but there's also a bona fide ethno-pop banger underneath, in which we can hear her deliver all sorts of ear-catching melodies (even going full Migos flow for a while). And just because she's that much of a badass, there's a full-on dabke break at the beginning of the second verse, a homage to the rich musical traditions of the Levant. "Toy" is a work of genius; both accessible and experimental, both ethnic and cosmopolitan, in line with contemporary trends, but compositionally in a league of its own. It was the best song, by far, in Lisbon, a clear pre-show favorite, and it took the crystal microphone. It's also a well-deserved fuck you to last year's winner Salvador Sobral's tone-deaf, unfortunate "fireworks vs. feelings" statements; not only because Salvador himself hated the song, but because Netta is indeed an incredibly accomplished musician, and however funny and bubbly "Toy" is, everything about it is as "real music" as that jazz interval show with Caetano Veloso in the Grand Final. Last year I mentioned how the contest will still be a big, beautiful, camp, queer party, and that music can be fireworks, feelings, and fun. "Toy" is all that, and much, much more. [9]

Katherine St Asaph: Douze points to... takes! So many separate vectors for takes that the intended #MeToo take doesn't register at all. Or any song. [2]

William John: The zany affectations and gurned squeaks bring to mind the way in which Björk is conceptualised by those who've never before heard a Björk song as the embodiment of unexplainable eccentricity. But the more obvious reference point for "Toy" is the singer previously of Karmin (who, as an aside, is now masquerading in blackface under a new nom de plume). In the same way that Karmin's showy YouTube cover clips endeavoured to reduce rap to a game of tongue-twisters, performer Netta here overwhelms her song's attempt to champion autonomy with garish, irritating theatrics. [1]

Will Adams: The studio version of "Toy" is a stormer, zooming from section to section with off-the-wall production so fast it's hard to keep up with. We've got Pikachus and teddybears and iPhone dings and Netta's committed performance all leading up to an uplifting breakdown that quickly swerves into Arrested Development-style mockery of the stupid boy. The song itself is great. But Eurovision songs don't exist in a bubble; they incorporate staging, choreography, styling choices, the pressure to play to juries and audiences' expectation of what Eurovision "zaniness" looks like. And so we get bullshit like the Netherlands's tone-deaf entry and Israel's Stefani-esque grossness. The problem here is that it's 2018 and people are still trotting out that old "what's WRONG with paying tribute to OTHER cultures it's not offensive it's BEAUTIFUL" chestnut. And in a year that was very subdued by Eurovision's standards, it's too egregious to ignore. [6]

Iain Mew: When TV commentators on the semi-final promised upcoming chicken noises, my thoughts turned immediately to Wang Rong. Little did I realise how apt that would prove, with the performance of "Toy" being every "check out this Japanese/Korean/Chinese pop culture, it's so WTF!" article in stage form, but this time skipping the need for anyone East Asian to even be involved. There could be something in separating out "Toy" from its staging, up to the point of Netta explaining that "Baka is also 'stupid' in Japanese" and the realisation that treating Japanese as interchangeable with animal sounds is integral to the song too. [2]

Edward Okulicz: Netta is a superlative performer, and "Toy" has an actual message, but it's taken a really weird, silly song, musically, to bring both of those out. The way she clucks out those syllables while throwing in actual words between the clucks is evidence of impressive verbal dexterity. She's all sing-song in the pre-chorus, and spitting fire in the actual chorus, so it's not just dexterity, it's ability to switch acting personas so playfully that's also astonishing. The song makes me like Netta. But I don't love the song itself, because the chorus with its "boy/toy" rhyme feels very childish and I keep waiting for the string swoops to turn into "7 Nation Army" -- now there's a killer bootleg waiting to happen. As frequently occurs with Eurovision songs, the on-stage production had some questionable aesthetic choices, but I can't say I've ever seen a performer on stage quite like her. [5]

Alex Clifton: God, it's nice to have a fun winner for the first time in a few years, isn't it? Don't get me wrong -- I liked Portugal's song last year, and "1944" is a gorgeous song loaded with pain -- but I come to Eurovision for silly, fizzy pop. "Toy" is an earworm for the ages that makes you want to dance, and also feels welcome in the age of #MeToo. "I'm not your toy" is a sentence I've thought as I've dealt with boys who somehow forget that women have interiority and lives not related to them, but rarely have I felt it as joyfully as when Netta yelps it. Empowerment songs are weird because for all the inspiring lyrics, they rarely have the actual undercurrent of power that should accompany them. Thankfully, Netta's got charisma and force and sells this both as a dance song as well as a warning to the guys who may try to cross her. [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Netta

[gringoslur]

Ok i know that a rant a lot about the treatment that gringxs give to the "latine" word, they treat it like it's a race.

But i also need to talk about the latinxs that feed this idea. Like, comparing white people culture vs latinx people culture (not in the racist aspect). That's just so USAmerican that it's ???? really weird for the people living in Latinoamerica. If you go around asking people here "hey can a black person be latina?" u are gonna get a weird look and an aswear like "uh, of course? i'm sorry but i don't understand the question" (at least in Sudamerica, as far as i know) You can't say that we are diverse and not a race and in the same breath use the "latine" word in the same level as "white/black/asian", because "latine" can mean "white/black/asian" too.

You might be latine, and that's an identity that no one cant take from you, but you have to understand that there's still....people living in Latinoamerica. Latinxs in USA are not the only ones. And if you are born in USA, you have a lot of usa-centrism in your head. That's a fact that you have to accept. Maybe you don't see it, but we can see it. You need to educate yourself too.

There's a lot of times that i hear latinxs in USA talk about the latinx community like they're the only ones. Something little like "if you are not this, you are not latinx" and they mention something very close to the latinx community in USA, not in all the latinoamerica. Or talk about a latinx character saying that "no, they can't speak spanish! -because other languages in latinoamerica don't exist, apparently/they have to be born in USA/they have to have those names" and if you don't agree with that, you're anti-latinx (even if you are latine lmao). You need representation, i understand. But you have to understand that we (the latinx ppl from latinoamerica) and 0 rep. Nothing. Most of the world don't even know where we are. Everything is about latinxs that are usamericans too, and it's really shitty if you try to make me feel bad because i want rep for me or my people.

I feel like sometimes some of you don't see that latines have differences. I talked with other latinxs from other countries all my life (not USA) and in all the conversations we EXPECT to have differences. We know that we can't be the same. I noticed a thing, when something happens in a fandom involving, for example, a mexican character, some of you think that you can talk above mexican people just because you have your "latinx" card (in the context of "i'm not mexican, but what this person did wasnt offensive to mexican people. Trust me, i'm latinx, i know") That's not how it works, people. We can talk about latinx issues, but we need to shut up if is not our place (i'm mentioning this in this post because i feel like latinxs from latinoamerica know that most of them don't know shit about mexican culture so they probably are not gonna say that. But there's exceptions too)

And there's bigger stuff, like trying to educate us about our own countries, the countries where we live. I had anons (after commenting in a post with feminist movements in Latinoamerica and mentioning something about my country) saying that i was misinforming people about it, because i wasnt being to especific (and not in...a very nice tone) i....was confused and a lot of people (living in Latinoamerica) were confused as well, because the comment that i made was pretty obvious, for us at least. Not for the anon, because they were obviously not aware about that topic in sudamerica. You can't go around trying to say stuff about our countries and how is to live here, like i can't say anything about the experiences that you live in USA as latinx.

I know that this post is gonna offend people, maybe. But i need to say this. Because i know that there's some bad blood between latinxs of usa and latinxs of latinoamerica, but we need to unite. And the first step is to look at ourselfs and see what's wrong about how we view the world. Latines from Latinoamerica are always trying to accept (or there's literally not an option, even if we want to be rebellious) stuff from the culture from USA (the use of the x instead of an e, the hispanic term, the "America" thing, having to deal with USA -a country that fucked our history over and over- everyday of our life even if we are not there, we can't choose if we want to learn another language, we HAVE to know english, etc). It's time that you guys see our side too.

#this is fucking long and with a lot of mistakes but whatever #im sleepy bye #if you havd a different opinion and are nice trying to explain it then i'm all ears! #i might be wrong about some stuff but this is my opinion #educate me if im wrong #long post #ranteando #.txt

[jagged1]

Guardians of the Galaxy 2 Rant/Review

So disclaimer/info to keep in mind:

I am not someone who watches a lot of films or media in general. I don’t critique things. I’m not even particularly enlightened or knowledgeable about various social issues beyond that they exist and we need to fix them.

I am someone who watched Guardians 2 and left the theater deeply hurt and conflicted about the film. I’m still not okay with quite a bit of it. I’m still hurt, angry, and scared of what it implies.

I am Vietnamese and I do possess a vagina and that shapes my perception.

This is for me. This is my way of dealing with this film. Making this available for public consumption part of how I am trying to come to terms with my thoughts and feelings.

I’ve read an article that said basically everything I’m going to say here. (I’ll link it at the end of this, if anyone wants it.)  I felt so validated that someone else noticed the heavy Asian stereotyping and general poor treatment of Mantis. But it wasn’t enough. I had an interaction that just brought me so down and made me so angry and just sparked everything back into life.

That being said, here we go.

-

I have so many problems with this movie, but it definitely starts at Mantis.

Mantis makes me so angry. I am not a Guardians fan, but even being exposed to her in the film for the first time I could tell/see she was completely Asian coded. (I looked her up later and in comic canon she IS half-Vietnamese which just made it worse for me.)

Everything about Mantis is a stereotype and it’s so frustrating, I’m not even sure where to begin. She’s this submissive, sheltered, very feminine JOKE and it bothers me so much. I’m so angry and so sad about it all. It hurts.

First off, she’s completely submissive to Ego, an apparently white male who whisked her away and uses her to soothe his own problems, while providing her a place/means to live and not much else. Do I have to spell this out? We’re hitting the subservient, non-confrontational, doll. She’s got no autonomy at all until she interacts with Drax, which leads into whole other problems I have, but I’m jumping ahead here. Yes, if you want to argue the point, it makes sense for her to be a submissive character since it’s literally all she’s ever known and Ego is an egomaniac and would not accept anything else. But I refuse to let anyone argue with me that this is acceptable. There is no reason at all to make it such a painfully obvious stereotype of a submissive Asian female. It’s offensive at worst and blatantly ignorant or apathetic at best.

Second, she’s incredibly naive and childlike, which is just more really awkward/offensive stereotyping. Now we’re getting into infantilization and taking more power away from her. So with this we’ve got a submissive, child-like Asian woman, who doesn’t know anything, and gets treated really horribly when first interacting with the Guardians. She gets tricked by Drax (seeing a bad pattern yet?) into offending Rocket and got hurt because of it and it’s a joke. And she just laughs and goes along with it, whether because she has no other choice or because she still doesn’t know that that’s not okay, I don’t know, but it’s disheartening either way. Now, we have two characters that don’t “understand” things the way the general audience would. On the one hand, Drax gets the explanation of his entire race being literal and the other Mantis gets to be an incredibly sheltered individual. We get no explanation at all of her background, the audience is just supposed to accept it as is. Yes, we can go back to the argument “Well of course these are traits she would have because Ego” but it is still not okay. Maybe this isn’t as obvious a stereotype, but it still is one and now we’re compounding negative impressions.

Third, there’s little to no appreciation for her. She’s consistently used as a victim of a joke. From her introduction with Rocket, to her and Drax’s conversation where he explicitly states he holds no attraction to her appearance (whether you see it as him being in denial of his feelings or not, it does not make me, an Asian female who is not stereotypically beautiful, feel good at all), and her final memorable part of the film and being knocked unconscious by debris. She has this incredibly powerful gift of empathy, subdued a Celestial who is the actual planet the are fighting against/on, and the last thing I really remember about her as a person is getting smacked by a rock. She barely got an acknowledgment from the team for stopping Ego in his tracks. She definitely got another ‘humorous’ and mildly offensive comment of “I didn’t think that would actually work.” We’re back to taking power away from her and making her more of an object than a person. And let’s not forget that without her, the battle with Sovereign wouldn’t have had a chance to happen, because everyone would be dead.

This is both part in my Mantis problems list and the part of my general how this film was written problems list. Mantis is written with a lot of feminine traits, like her empathic abilities.  This is not a bad thing in general. I have no problems with feminine females. But we’re adding this to all the other stereotypes and her general treatment by people and it gets really uncomfortable really quickly. Drax in counterpoint is written incredibly masculine and they interact with each other the most which only emphasizes the difference. Looking at it this way, Mantis is a tool to show Drax as a more complex character without undermining his masculine power. Specifically, when she uses her powers and just immediately breaks down from the overwhelming sadness and pain Drax is still feeling from the loss of his family. Or we can go back to him tricking her into petting Rocket and now it can take on a flavor of pigtail pulling instead of Drax is a terrible person with a warped/cruel sense of humor. It might not be as big a deal as I see it, but the fact is this is what I’m taking away from the film and that’s problematic.

How Drax was written in general is confusing to me. I’m not sure if his terrible behavior is character growth or plain bad writing. I could see it as being character growth because he isn’t obviously obsessing over his loss so he could be healing and the people he spends all his time with are all equally terrible in different ways, so it makes sense he’d act that way too. Or it could just be bad writing.

Then there’s Star-Lord and Ego, who are easily the least compelling part of this film. I was not invested at ALL in their story. I can barely remember any details from their scenes together, which is just awkward considering this was half of the plot line. And the sudden reveal of Ego being the cause of everything is such a non-sequitur I honestly did not process what he had said. Which, admittedly, might have been the point of writing it that way because it does emphasize how much he does not care, but it still feels wrong to me from a writing perspective.

Also, Mantis being knocked out to bring Ego back into play is just lazy writing. I’m not even talking about my Mantis feelings in particular with this. This is plain lazy writing. There’s a character I need to remove or stop in order to continue my plot. I’m just going to knock them out and keep going. Yes, it’s possible/plausible. But it feels lazy. And yes, I get it. Slapstick comedy is a thing and it does serve a dual purpose here. I still don’t like it from both my personal and authorial point of views.

The writing for this movie confuses me so badly. There are parts think are brilliant. I love the depth given to Gamora and Nebula's relationship. I think Yondu and Rocket’s interactions were amazing and really well done. There is some fantastic writing with these characters, their motivations, their flaws, just them being people. There’s a lot of depth in a little bit of writing in certain places and I loved it. But then in the next second there’s some really lazy and uninteresting writing and I just do not understand what happened. I’m not impressed.

-

Overall, I don’t like this film. I love parts of it. But there’s a lot about it that just makes me horribly uncomfortable and I would be so happy to never experience again. I don’t want to see the one character that I can see myself in, literally see myself by way of physical appearance, be written like every stereotype I’ve heard or experienced applied to myself. I don’t want to have it reinforced that I should be submissive, that I need someone to be a catalyst for my own empowerment, that I am unattractive, that all of these things are normal and expected. It hurts. It makes me angry. It scares me. Is this how people look at me? Is this what I have to look forward to? Are my feelings invalid? Am I the weird one for being the only person to not laugh? It feels absolutely horrible.

I don’t appreciate people trying to tell me “but it makes sense”. I don’t appreciate people pushing for details on my opinions when my opinions are “I have problems and do not like this movie.” and then completely disregarding my opinions. Thank you, person, thanks a lot for reinforcing yet again how little importance I possess.

Any one who did read this all, thanks. I appreciate that this was something you found worth reading, for whatever reason you did. That’s all I have to say. If you’d like to read the article I mentioned, here’s the link.

http://www.cbr.com/guardians-galaxy-vol-2-mantis-joke/

#gotg #gotg2 #review #mcu #stereotypes #guardians of the galaxy #mantis

[sociologyquotes]

A Look at the Myth of Reverse Racism

[CONTENT WARNING: Use of anti-black and anti-Native slurs]

from the article A Look at the Myth of Reverse Racism by Tim Wise

“Recently, when speaking to a group of high school students, I was asked why I only seemed to be concerned about white racism towards people of color. We had been discussing racial slurs, and a number of white students wondered why I didn’t get as upset about blacks using terms like “honky” or “cracker,” as I did about whites using words like “n*gger.” Although such an issue may seem trivial in the larger scheme of things—especially given the more significant discussions about racism in the educational system that I had hoped to engage in that day—the challenge posed by the students was actually an important one. In fact, it allowed a discussion about the very essence of what racism is and how it operates. On the one hand, of course, such slurs are quite obviously inappropriate and offensive, and ought not to be used. That said, I pointed out that even the mention of the words “honky” and “cracker” had elicited laughter; and not only from the black students in attendance, but also from other whites. The words are so silly, so juvenile, so utterly pathetic that they hardly qualify as racial slurs at all, let alone slurs on a par with those that have been historically deployed against people of color. 

The lack of symmetry between a word like honky and a slur such as “n*igger” was made apparent in an old Saturday Night Live skit, with Chevy Chase and guest, Richard Pryor. In the skit, Chase and Pryor face one another and trade off racial epithets during a segment of Weekend Update. Chase calls Pryor a “porch monkey.” Pryor responds with “honky.” Chase ups the ante with “jungle bunny.” Pryor, unable to counter with a more vicious slur against whites, responds with “honky, honky.” Chase then trumps all previous slurs with “nigger,” to which Pryor responds: “dead honky.” The line elicits laughs all around, but also makes clear, at least implicitly that when it comes to racial antilocution, people of color are limited in the repertoire of slurs they can use against whites, and even the ones of which they can avail themselves sound more comic than hateful. The impact of hearing the antiblack slurs in the skit was of a magnitude unparalleled by hearing Pryor say “honky” over and over again.

As a white person I always saw terms like honky or cracker as evidence of how much more potent white racism was than any variation on the theme practiced by the black or brown. When a group of people has little or no power over you institutionally, they don’t get to define the terms of your existence, they can’t limit your opportunities, and you needn’t worry much about the use of a slur to describe you and yours, since, in all likelihood, the slur is as far as it’s going to go. What are they going to do next: deny you a bank loan? Yeah, right. So whereas “nigger” was and is a term used by whites to dehumanize blacks, to imply their inferiority, to “put them in their place” if you will, the same cannot be said of honky: after all, you can’t put white people in their place when they own the place to begin with.

Power is like body armor. And while not all white folks have the same degree of power, there is a very real extent to which all of us have more than we need vis-à-vis people of color: at least when it comes to racial position, privilege and perceptions. Consider poor whites. To be sure, they are less financially powerful than wealthy people of color. But that misses the point of how racial privilege operates within a class system. Within a class system, people tend to compete for “stuff” against others of their same basic economic status. In other words, rich and poor are not competing for the same homes, bank loans, jobs, or even educations to a large extent. Rich competes against rich, working class against working class and poor against poor. And in those competitions racial privilege most certainly attaches. Poor whites are rarely typified as pathological, dangerous, lazy or shiftless the way poor blacks are, for example. Nor are they demonized the way poor Latino/a immigrants tend to be. When politicians want to scapegoat welfare recipients they don’t pick Bubba and Crystal from some Appalachian trailer park; they choose Shawonda Jefferson from the Robert Taylor Homes, with her seven children. And according to reports from a number of states, ever since so-called welfare reform, white recipients have been treated far better by caseworkers, are less likely to be bumped off the rolls for presumed failure to comply with new regulations, and have been given far more assistance at finding new jobs than their black or brown counterparts.

Poor whites are more likely to have a job, tend to earn more than poor people of color, and are even more likely to own their own home. Indeed, whites with incomes under $13,000 annually are more likely to own their own home than blacks with incomes that are three times higher due to having inherited property. None of this is to say that poor whites aren’t being screwed eight ways to Sunday by an economic system that relies on their immiseration: they are. But they nonetheless retain a certain “one-up” on equally poor or even somewhat better off people of color thanks to racism.

It is that one-up that renders the potency of certain prejudices less threatening than others. It is what makes cracker or honky less problematic than any of the slurs used so commonly against the black and brown. In response to all this, skeptics might say that people of color can indeed exercise power over whites, at least by way of racially-motivated violence. Such was the case, for example, this week in New York City where a black man shot two whites and one Asian-Pacific Islander before being overpowered. Apparently he announced that he wanted to kill white people, and had hoped to set a wine bar on fire to bring such a goal to fruition. There is no doubt his act was one of racial bigotry, and that to those he was attempting to murder his power must have seemed quite real. Yet there are problems with claiming that this “power” proves racism from people of color is just as bad as the reverse.

First, racial violence is also a power whites have, so the power that might obtain in such a situation is hardly unique to non-whites, unlike the power to deny a bank loan for racial reasons, to "steer" certain homebuyers away from living in “nicer" neighborhoods, or to racially profile in terms of policing. Those are powers that can only be exercised by the more dominant group as a practical and systemic matter. Additionally, the "power" of violence is not really power at all, since to exercise it, one has to break the law and subject themselves to probable legal sanction. Power is much more potent when it can be deployed without having to break the law to do it, or when doing it would only risk a small civil penalty at worst. So discrimination in lending, though illegal is not going to result in the perp going to jail; so too with employment discrimination or racial profiling.

There are plenty of ways that more powerful groups can deploy racism against less powerful groups without having to break the law: by moving away when too many of "them" move in (which one can only do if one has the option of moving without having to worry about discrimination in housing.) Or one can discriminate in employment but not be subjected to penalty, so long as one makes the claim that the applicant of color was "less qualified," even though that determination is wholly subjective and rarely scrutinized to see if it was determined accurately, as opposed to being a mere proxy for racial bias. In short, it is institutional power that matters most. Likewise, it’s the difference in power and position that has made recent attempts by American Indian activists in Colorado to turn the tables on white racists so utterly ineffective. Indian students at Northern Colorado University, fed up by the unwillingness of white school district administrators in Greeley to change the name and grotesque Indian caricature of the Eaton High School “Reds,” recently set out to flip the script on the common practice of mascot-oriented racism. Thinking they would show white folks what it’s like to “be in their shoes” and experience the objectification of being a team icon, indigenous members of an intramural basketball team renamed themselves the “Fightin’ Whiteys,” and donned t-shirts with the team mascot: a 1950’s-style caricature of a suburban, middle class white guy, next to the phrase “every thang’s gonna be all white.” Funny though the effort was, it has not only failed to make the point intended, but indeed has been met with laughter and even outright support by white folks. Rush Limbaugh actually advertised for the team’s t-shirts on his radio program, and whites from coast to coast have been requesting team gear, thinking it funny to be turned into a mascot, as opposed to demeaning.

Of course the difference is that it’s tough to negatively objectify a group whose power and position allows them to define the meaning of another group’s attempts at humor: in this case the attempt by Indians to teach them a lesson. It’s tough to school the headmaster, in other words. Objectification works against the disempowered because they are disempowered. The process doesn’t work in reverse, or at least, making it work is a lot tougher than one might think. Turning Indians into mascots has been offensive precisely because it is a continuation of the dehumanization of such persons over many centuries; the perpetuation of the mentality of colonization and conquest.

It is not as if one group—whites—merely chose to turn another group—Indians—into mascots. Rather, it is that one group, whites, have consistently viewed Indians as less than fully human, as savage, as “wild,” and have been able to not merely portray such imagery on athletic banners and uniforms, but in history books and literature more crucially. In the case of the students at Northern, they would need to be a lot more acerbic in their appraisal of whites, in order for their attempts at “reverse racism” to make the point intended. After all, “fightin” is not a negative trait in the eyes of most white folks, and the 1950’s iconography chosen for the uniforms was unlikely to be seen as that big a deal. Perhaps if they had settled on “slave-owning whiteys,” or “murdering whiteys,” or “land-stealing whiteys,” or “smallpox-giving-on-purpose whiteys,” or “Native-people-butchering whiteys,” or “mass raping whiteys,” the point would have been made. And instead of a smiling “company man” logo, perhaps a Klansman, or skinhead as representative of the white race: now that would have been a nice functional equivalent of the screaming Indian warrior. But see, you gotta go strong to turn the tables on the man, and ironic sarcasm just ain’t gonna get it nine times out of ten. Without the power to define another group’s reality, Indian activists are simply incapable of turning the tables by way of well-placed humor.

Simply put, what separates white racism from any other form, and what makes anti-black, anti-brown, anti-yellow, or anti-red humor more biting and more dangerous than its anti-white equivalent is the ability of the former to become lodged in the minds of and perceptions of the citizenry. White perceptions are what end up counting in a white-dominated society. If whites say Indians are savages (be they of the “noble” or vicious type), then by God, they’ll be seen as savages. If Indians say whites are mayonnaise-eating Amway salespeople, who the hell is going to care? If anything, whites will simply turn it into a marketing opportunity. When you have the power, you can afford to be self-deprecating, after all. The day that someone produces a newspaper ad that reads: “Twenty honkies for sale today: good condition, best offer accepted,” or “Cracker to be lynched tonight: whistled at black woman,” then perhaps I’ll see the equivalence of these slurs with the more common type to which we’ve grown accustomed. When white churches start getting burned down by militant blacks who spray paint “kill the honkies” on the sidewalks outside, then maybe I’ll take seriously these concerns over “reverse racism.” Until then, I guess I’ll find myself laughing at the thought of another old Saturday Night Live skit: this time with Garrett Morris as a convict in the prison talent show who sings: Gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see. Gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see. And once I kill all the whiteys I see Then whitey he won’t bother me Gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see. Sorry, but it just isn’t the same.”

#sociology #racism #slurs #racial slurs #native americans #united states #black americans #white americans #white supremacy #power #white power #european americans #african americans #violence #racial violence #institutional discrimination #institutionalized racism #power imbalance #social power #poverty #discrimination #privilege #race privilege #white privilege #prejudice #racial prejudice

[anxious-talk]

A peek into the author

The World Health Organisation has defined Mental Health as “a state of well-being. Mental health is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.”

To many, this has come as a shock. Too often do we see the literal words ‘mental health’ mentioned in a negative, and almost derogatory, way. When anyone mentions the almost controversial topic, it’s immediately met with a mix of responses, most of which are negative, and often extremely offensive to someone with a diagnosed mental health condition.

In today’s wild era, roughly 7.0% of adolescent’s (WHO categorises this as anyone between the ages 10 and 19) are diagnosed with anxiety disorders, with separation anxiety and social anxiety as the most commonly diagnosed, according to a 2015 report The Mental Health of Children and Adolescent’s done by the Victorian Government. As someone who was diagnosed with anxiety from the ripe age of 14, I have been on the tail end of mixed responses from family, friends, colleagues, and even complete strangers.

I refused to tell my friends, feeling embarrassed about the whole situation, and not wanting any horrible rumors to spread around my school (this happened frequently, so my anxiety over that was completely rational).

My parents were informed, seeing as it was my school that actually recommended I seek help, and I wasn’t of the legal age to attend a GP by myself, thus my mum tagged along to the mental health assessment. They tried to inform seemingly everyone else in my family, to my horror. They claimed it was to spread awareness, and build a support network around me, but to my 14-year-old mind, it felt like they were betraying my trust, and just finding any old hot topic to bring up over the dinner table.

The only people that regularly spoke to me about my mental health at the time was my school counselor (an amazing woman, truly. I don’t know how she dealt with me each week), and my psychologist at the time (who’s named I STILL don’t know to this day) who I saw fortnightly, sometimes in private sessions and sometimes in group sessions with other similar aged females.

5 years on from that, I am back seeing a psychologist every few weeks (because the Australian Health System only lets you have 10 sessions with a psychologist each year and my wage certainly wouldn’t cover extra sessions), and have just recently been put on a mild form of SNRI, which is usually meant to treat depression, but is also commonly used for anxiety. My wage also doesn’t cover psychiatrist bills, but I am fortunate that it Medicare covers most of it, and I have parents who are willing to help out if it eventually betters my mental wellbeing.

You could say my mental wellbeing took a turn for the worst.

I stopped seeking ‘professional help’ shortly into 2015 when I thought I could handle it on my own, and just seeing my therapist at school was enough. While she worked wonders with me, I still probably could have benefited from a psychologist as well.

It wasn’t until 2018 when I realized everything was turning downhill, and I needed help fast. I actively sought out help, which is a huge step in the right direction for anyone with a mental health condition that is wanting to get treatment. I emailed the old clinic I used to go to, I went to see my new GP about a mental health care plan and was put through the mental health assessment by a lovely woman named Nina when I showed up at the clinic in May.

It was about a 5-week wait for a psychologist, and I was finally seen by my current psychologist whose name shall be left from this post, simply for her own privacy (it’s an extremely uncommon name). I get along with her great, and it doesn’t feel very clinical and professional like all of the movies and TV shows I saw as a kid, which is great. It is extremely important that you get along with ANY health care professional you see frequently; GP’s, psychologists, psychiatrists, dieticians, gynecologists, and any kind of specialist you might need/want to see. You have to build a great relationship with them, otherwise, you will feel uncomfortable, and not let out your true concerns.

She’s helped me with a lot of things.

One of my main concerns is eating. I do not have a diagnosed eating disorder, although my year 7 teacher would probably argue with you (seriously, she tried to force me into an anorexia clinic simply because I was coughing up phlegm! In the middle of winter!)

I have little issues with my body. I have always been slim and very tall, so naturally, my slimness is even more highlighted. I have small assets, which is where my body issues lie, but apart from that, I’d actually maybe like to see more weight on my stomach and thighs.

My eating anxiety stems from when I had braces. I was terrified of people catching me with food stuck in my braces, as well as various incidents of eating too many hot dogs and smearing sauce over my face. This slowly developed into a fear of eating ANYTHING in front of people I wasn’t comfortable with.

I ate burgers and pizza with a knife and fork, to minimize any mess, and to make portions small and ‘ladylike’.

I avoided using chopsticks or eating Asian cuisines, especially when I was dating my now ex-boyfriend, who was Chinese.

I slowly slimmed down my portions, because I knew my body couldn’t actually consume a normal amount of food (my stomach apparently is just very tiny when it comes to any food of actual sustenance) and didn’t want the disappointed faces of my parents burned in my brain.

I had always eaten in a separate living space to my family, which probably only further amplified my anxiety, meaning now I sat at different tables at family events and friend get-togethers.

I was always last to the Christmas feast because I didn’t want people to see what I was putting on my plate.

And I never EVER ate at the buffet. I couldn’t think of anything worse.

The past 6 or so months with my new psychologist have proven to be useful. I had to list 10 anxiety-inducing things to do with eating, from mild to extreme, and each week was set with a homework task, slowly working my way from the bottom to the top. Each time I saw her, I was to report on whether I did it or not, how it felt, and if I was ready to move on to the next one. It isn’t about completely overcoming the fear. It is about being comfortable enough that it doesn’t induce such horribly painful anxiety.

2019 is the year I want to work on my fear of intimacy/unsolicited touching.

Again, this stems from a completely rational series of events. Events that, unfortunately, many people (yes, PEOPLE!) in this modern world have experienced. I have been sexually assaulted by multiple different people and at different times. This does not mean rape if that is what has immediately come to mind.

The CASA Forum (Centres Against Sexual Assault) defines sexual assault as “any behavior of a sexual nature that makes someone feel uncomfortable, frightened, intimidated or threatened. It is sexual behavior that someone has not agreed to, where another person uses physical or emotional force against them. It can include anything from sexual harassment through to life-threatening rape. Some examples listed in a PDF include stalking, unwanted touching, unwanted sexual comments or jokes, pressuring for dates/demand for sex and offensive written material.

Hence why I reiterate; MANY PEOPLE HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS. Seriously, just google some statistics. It’s incredible the numbers that stack up. #NoMeansNo.

But this isn’t just a fear stemming from my horrible dating experiences.

I genuinely just hate being touched.

When close family members (I’m looking at you dad) squeeze me into their chest just after I’ve eaten dinner, even after I’ve warned them I will projectile vomit everywhere, it makes me feel like my worries and my aversions to physical intimacy are being ignored because they’re uncommon.

This isn’t to say I don’t touch people or want to be touched.

I just want to initiate it.

I will avoid most family members at a gathering unless I am close with them. Close aunts and uncles will get kisses on the cheek. Younger cousins will get loose hugs they can back out of (I know what it’s like to be 14 and not want my older relatives putting me in what feels like a chokehold).

I’ve just started giving my older brother hugs when I leave his new house, seeing as we only see each other every other month since he moved out, rather than every day at my childhood home.

I will greet certain friends with hugs upon seeing them after a long time and will let them lie on my shoulder when coming back from a wild night out drinking (I am the mum in this situation ALWAYS now, seeing as I no longer drink).

But those greetings are on my own terms. They are people I feel immensely comfortable with. They are greetings and goodbyes.

It’s the bits in between I don’t like. The cuddling on the couches. The random hugs in the kitchen when I’m trying to get a drink of water or wash the dishes.  The random brushing of my hair with their fingers when we’re sitting next to each other (seriously, do not touch my hair. I hate it, and I haven’t washed it in 4 days).

I am trying to work on this. Or at least, I am trying to get better about communicating my avoidance of physical intimacy. I would like to find that person I am incredibly comfortable with, and whom I won’t flinch away from when they randomly trap me in a back hug.

I don’t know if this was brought on by my own want to fix it, or by the fact that everyone seems to be telling me that as an almost 20-year-old, physical intimacy is an IMPORTANT part of my life right now, and I shouldn’t be avoiding it. Maybe you should just stop worrying about my sex life, and starting worrying about your own marriage, you nosy little shit.

This post doesn’t really have a moral.

It is a little peek into the last 5 ish years of my struggling with anxiety.

I am not defined by my anxiety. I do not introduce myself as the girl with anxiety.

But it is a part of me, and I can't ignore it anymore. Ignoring it does no favors. I am ready to face it head on and tame this beast so it only attacks when it needs to.

I just hope you can do the same.

#lifestyle #anxiety #advice #anxiety advice #mental health #journalism #journalism student #blog #personal blog #blogging

[anonymouscatt]

Time for the annual New Years Fandom Meme! Under the cut as always.

1. Your main fandom of the year: Probably Detroit: Become Human, although it was more like a short, bittersweet fascination. There were a lot of things I loved about the game but there were also a lot of offensive and cringeworthy parts so... big mixed bag. That said I read a lot of good fanfiction based on it and saw some amazing art, and I think it was the fandom I was most engaged with this year.

2. Your favorite film this year: A Quiet Place! I feel like this movie went through a period of people praising it to the heavens and then another of different people picking it to pieces saying any praise was undeserved. Personally I really liked it; sure there are things you could pick at but I'd rather just enjoy the film. I thought the idea was unique and it was really cool that they had a deaf protagonist (and a deaf actress to play her!) And it was a chance to see another side of John Krasinski's acting since I'm really only familiar with him from the Office and this film is SO far from that premise. Runners up was probably Crazy Rich Asians and Into the Spiderverse, both of which were very entertaining, and then maybe Infinity War? It wasn't a fantastic movie and I didn't expect it to be, it was more like watching those crossovers on the Disney channel as a kid: it's fun to see everyone teaming up and interacting even if the story is kind of meh.

3. Your favorite book this year: This year my favorite story was a series of novellas by Martha Wells, collectively called the Murderbot Diaries. And I actually didn't "read" the books; I discovered them over an app called Scribd where they were only available as audiobooks. I don't usually listen to audiobooks but these were fairly short, so I gave the first one a try and I was hooked. Now I wish they were longer! The series is about a security android who has hacked its governor module so that it can act on free will. Instead of going on a murderous rampage to destroy all humans, apparently not an uncommon occurrence in this universe, Murderbot became obsessed with fiction and all types of media. It continues to do its programmed job of protecting humans on high-risk missions while watching TV shows in its free time and pretending it doesn't care about its charges as much as it really does. For a deadly security android Murderbot is a very relatable protagonist, for me especially in terms of its discomfort with certain social situations. I thoroughly enjoyed this story and I hear the author has a full novel set in this universe in the works, which I'm very happy about.

4. Your favorite album or song this year: I didn't listen to a lot of music this year. :/

5. Your favorite TV show this year: The Good Place is still the one I looked forward to the most each week, although I wish this season had been stronger in terms of character development. It's kind of tough to keep that consistent when the characters have been starting over from square one every season. Also enjoyed this year's Doctor Who and felt it was a step above Moffat's, although not as good as I wanted it to be. I really like Jodie's Doctor but I think it was a mistake to start her off with three companions at once- again, no one has really gotten the character development I wanted them to. I read somewhere that while it's nice that she calls her team Fam it doesn't feel like they've earned it, and I have to agree. Hopefully next season that aspect of the show will be stronger.

6. Your favorite tumblr moment this year: Well I know what my least favorite was. :/ I'm all for getting rid of the unexpected porn in the tags but considering that the algorithm used to detect explicit images is terrible and even innocent posts are getting flagged I don't see this working out well in the long run. Fandom seems ready to move on but nobody can agree to where. It's a shame, because I really like this method of blogging and interacting with people, and in many ways I prefer it to the old LJ method, and there's no other site that works quite the same way. Anyway. Tumblr isn't dead but this does feel like the start of the last few years where there's an active community here.

7. Your best new fandom discovery of the year: I'm not sure! My favorite thing I discovered this year was the Murderbot Diaries but there's not really an active fandom around the series. The author had a tumblr but she deleted it after being flagged for something by the content ban, which was very disappointing.

8. Your biggest fandom disappointment of the year: Even though I did enjoy the game, Detroit: Become Human. (My biggest anticipation of last year- what else is new!) It did a few things very very well (graphics, actual important branching choices, Connor's story) and a lot of other things very poorly (that whole mess with the holocaust imagery and clumsy racial metaphors). In terms of my own expectations, I was really excited to see Kara's story after I heard they were making a game based on the original short. I was very disappointed that Kara seemed to be the least important of the three main characters and got a heavy-handed motherhood story instead of exploring her development as a person. Connor got that kind of story, the development from a machine to a person (provided you picked that path) and it was a great story, I just wanted more of that for Kara.

9. Your fictional boyfriend of the year: Despite what I said up there, Connor. He really was the most interesting and likable character in the game for me, and for a lot of others if the fanfic is any indication.

10. Your fictional girlfriend of the year: The Thirteenth Doctor. I think Jodie has done a fantastic job so far and Thirteen is really endearing with her scronchy face and cheerful disposition. Her Doctor reminds me of Ten in many ways, and of course he was my favorite ever. Also I really like her outfit.

11. Your biggest squee moment of the year: When the first teaser trailer for Dragon Age 4 dropped. It was so little- just a new mural and a line we've already heard for a game that isn't supposed to be out for three more years- but it made me very happy. At least we know it's in development.

12. Your most missed old fandom: Last year it was Spyro, and now I have the remastered trilogy for my PS4! Really enjoyed it so far- one bit of good news for this year. I'm doing a Stargate rewatch while all the episodes are available on Hulu, so that's probably the fandom I'm most nostalgic for now.

13. Your fandom you haven't tried yet, but want to: I mean, I'm already familiar with Spider-Man but I just got the PS4 game for Christmas so that's what I'm planning on playing in the New Year. I can't think of anything else this would apply to.

14. Your biggest anticipation of the New Year: Nothing. I refuse to anticipate anything this year. I need to break this curse. The Murderbot novel probably won't be out until 2020, and the new Dragon Age game a few years later, so I can safely say that I am not looking forward to anything in 2019 and therefore nothing can disappoint me. Right?

#happy new year #new years fandom meme