#i literally cannot think past that sentence rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

meltingheartsandcores · 3 years

Note

Yoooo your new fic is so cool!! How will lwj react to finding out about his daughter?

So, when I wrote the story, I had no idea, hence why I ended it there. But I was thinking on how to answer this last night, and ended up writing an entire second chapter at like one am. And then editted it through my Bio lecture (which was not my best idea but it’s just a kahoot quiz rn so not that bad of idea) but also means it’s lightly editted at best, sorry.

Oh and for Daiyu’s characters, I’ve lost the file that initially had them, but I’m like 80% sure they were 黛玉 which should be Dark Jade if I’m not wrong.

Anyways, hope you enjoy the story, I’ve put this under a read more because it’s long, lol.

Lan Wangji was not happy when Lan Xichen revealed that they did not know where Wei Wuxian was. Nie Mingjue was not happy with Lan Wangji pouting, so Lan Xichen had to stop several attempts of just telling Lan Wangji the school they had picked the kids up at yesterday and the park.

Just because they found out about Daiyu that way, does not mean Wangji has to. In Lan Xichen’s opinion at least. Truly it was up to Wei Wuxian.

So, while Nie Mingjue was cooking breakfast, Lan Xichen texts Wei Wuxian a very simple;

Wangji is here. Would you like to see him?

The question feels a little ridiculous to ask, after all they had just cleared up a major misunderstanding, the only reason Lan Xichen was aware of that they broke up, why wouldn’t Wei Wuxian want to see Lan Wangji? Then again, it has been five years. While Wei Wuxian asked after Lan Wangji’s relationship status, he gave nothing of his own. Aside from the fact that he was living with Wen Qing.

Who, to Lan Xichen’s knowledge, Wei Wuxian hadn’t been all that close to before they had broken up. And considering he was told the Wens moved away from the city barely a week after Wei Wuxian left the Jiangs, there wasn’t much time for him to get so attached to move across the country with them.

So, while waiting for Wei Wuxian to text back, Lan Xichen did his best to distract Lan Wangji. Except, Lan Wangji was not having it.

“Xiongzhang,” Oh that tone was not good. “If Wei Ying does not wish to see me, just tell me.” Lan Wangji asks, sounding serious but looking, to Lan Xichen at least, like if he did as asked he would be breaking Lan Wangji’s heart.

“I’m sure Wei Wuxian wishes to see you. The problem is, is that this is now rather fresh for him. And there are some things he’s told me that make me concerned to just, point you in his vague direction.” Lan Xichen explains since, yes, it was odd for him to be restraining Lan Wangji. In their teenage years Lan Xichen all but pushed Lan Wangji to hang out with Wei Wuxian. And sometimes he did, actually physically push Lan Wangji to hang out with Wei Wuxian.

“He disappeared five years ago without a word.” Lan Wangji states, reminding himself of that oddity before asking, “What happened?”

And the conversation Lan Xichen did not want to have. “After he left the Jiang family, he came to the house to spend the night as he hadn’t expected to be kicked out so soon. You were out with me,” Lan Wangji nods, remembering the night he very much did not want to spend out of the house, “so Uncle answered the door. He told Wei Wuxian you wanted nothing to do with him, and to never contact the Lan family again.” Lan Xichen admits, wincing when Lan Wangji’s eyes go coldly furious. “Of course, this is only what Wei Wuxian has told me, I have not had the chance to hear what Uncle has to say on this.” Lan Xichen reminds, but it didn’t matter. Lan Wangji cared about what Wei Wuxian heard, not what their Uncle meant all those years ago. It does, at this point, seem more important. Even if Uncle hadn’t said so in so many words, it did result in Wei Wuxian disappearing for five years with Lan Wangji’s daughter.

“You should speak to him.” Lan Wangji states coldly, clearing meaning for Lan Xichen to get an explanation that does not result in Lan Wangji dropping contact with all of them and moving in with Wei Wuxian.

Lan Xichen’s not entirely sure that’s not going to happen anyways, considering Daiyu.

Thankfully, Lan Xichen’s phone goes off with an alert, and he’s relieved to see Wei Wuxian texted him back, and the message also relieves, a little.

What the fuck. How the fuck did he get here. I’m not kidding, the trains don’t run overnight here, it’s literally impossible for him to be here. What the fuck. Oh, but, send him to the Starbucks. There’s literally only one in the town so. I’ll meet him there at 10

The idea of going to Starbucks makes Lan Xichen want to send Wangji to the park, but he ignores it and instead repeats the place and time, and Lan Wangji immediately gets on his phone to get a cab to the city. Lan Xichen could offer to drive Lan Wangji himself, or even their car, but he wants some time with Nie Mingjue. And he wants their car at their place tomorrow morning, which if all goes well, Lan Wangji will not be returning to the cabin.

So he lets Lan Wangji leave in a cab.

Lan Wangji will admit his actions the previous night were illogical. And rude. First he hung up on his brother, then he ran out on his Uncle without a word (although considering what Lan Xichen told him, he doesn’t feel bad about it anymore) and paid a lot of money to be taken to the rather remote town Wei Wuxian had decided to live in. But now that he knows where Wei Wuxian was, how close he was, he was more than eager. He had been looking for Wei Wuxian for the past five years, never with any success. He had never been sure what had caused Wei Wuxian to leave without a word before, always thought to the weeks previous for anything he’d done. Now that he knows the truth...

He wishes he never agreed to go out with Lan Xichen that night.

But he cannot change the past. All he can do is cherish and love Wei Wuxian now.

Even if that means going to Starbucks.

Lan Wangji pays the cab and walks up to the Starbucks. He can’t help the face he makes, the places are always too loud for him, and it’s a show of excess that makes him twitch. Wei Wuxian always liked them, so he always made an effort to at least tolerate the places, but he couldn’t help the cringe.

Of course, the cringe drops from his face as he hears a familiar bark of laughter, snapping his head to the side to see Wei Wuxian. Looking the same as ever. No. Not the same. Older. More lines, more age, but no less beautiful. With a bling bright smile, “What’s with Lans and Starbucks?” Wei Wuxian asks laughing.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji whispers, before processing the question and answering, “You know our principles, do you not think it’s the opposite of everything we value?”

Wei Wuxian shrugs, tilting his head to the side, “I guess. Counterpoint, their Frappuccino’s are delicious.”

“Excessive amounts of sugar.” Lan Wangji counters, feeling sixteen again and like lecturing Wei Wuxian on what those drinks will do to his health.

“Hey, some sugar is good. Besides, I don’t think I ever got you to try their Matcha Frapp.” Wei Wuxian says, grabbing Lan Wangji’s arm and dragging him into the Starbucks.

“Why.”

“Why not?” There was the smile again, bright and beautiful.

And Lan Wangji couldn’t argue. This Starbucks was quieter, than the ones Wei Wuxian would drag him to years ago, Wei Wuxian orders quickly for them both, and Lan Wangji did nothing but stare.

“Aiyah, Lan Zhan, what’s with the staring?” Wei Wuxian asks after noticing while waiting for their drinks, an amused smile gracing his lips.

Lan Wangji debates his answer, he could say many things, most would probably make Wei Wuxian blush, but in the end he decides on, “Worried Wei Ying will disappear again.”

Wei Wuxian huffs a laugh, “Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying shakes his head, and then his smile drops, which makes Lan Wangji furrow his brow, “So, how much did Lan Xichen tell you?”

“He told me you were here. And what Uncle said. Which was untrue.” Lan Wangji states, not sure what else there was to say. Perhaps how Wei Wuxian chose this place?

Wei Wuxian chuckles, “Yeah, Lan Xichen made that clear yesterday.” Wei Wuxian scratches his nose three times, clearly thinking about something, considering his next actions. Normally it would predate a prank, but Lan Wangji has the distinct feeling Wei Wuxian is not going to be pulling pranks right now. “So, he just said that?” Lan Wangji nods, becoming confused. “Let’s wait for our drinks.” Wei Wuxian decides, confusing Lan Wangji further, but all he does is nod. For now, he’s fine with Wei Wuxian setting the pace.

When they get their drinks and sit down, Lan Wangji eyes his green frapp with contention, only taking a sip when prompted by Wei Wuxian. It wasn’t, terrible. He still didn’t like it. But it was better than the other frapps Wei Wuxian has had him try over the years.

He still didn’t drink more beyond that sip.

Wei Wuxian sighs and sips at his drink a little, before setting it aside, “Well, I suppose I can’t do this the same way I did it with Lan Xichen and Dage.” Lan Wangji furrows his brow slightly, becoming confused once more. “Not unless you’re willing to wait five hours.” Lan Wangji shakes his head, he was not in the mood to be waiting today. Not for long. He’s finally seeing Wei Wuxian again. Wei Wuxian nods, “Didn’t think so. Uh, so. How to say this...”

“You say what you are thinking.” Lan Wangji states, almost on reflex, having said it to Wei Wuxian so many times when they were together, when Wei Wuxian was having trouble putting words to his thoughts.

“I’m thinking how to tell you I was pregnant without breaking your brain.” Wei Wuxian retorts, clearly on reflex, as he always would when Lan Wangji would make that remark. Normally it allowed for Lan Wangji to assist in phrasing, as while Wei Wuxian was better at conversational talking than Lan Wangji, he also typically just trailed off and made half sentences he expected the people around him to understand. While Lan Wangji would consider his words until he knew exactly what he was going to say. Making it easier sometimes, for Lan Wangji to assist.

This time however.

Lan Wangji blinks.

Once.

Pregnant.

Twice.

Pregnant

Thrice.

‘Wei Ying was pregnant when he left.’

Four times.

“And I broke you, shit.” Lan Wangji was not truly paying attention to Wei Wuxian, he should be. Now more than ever. But he can’t.

‘Wei Ying and I had a child.’

‘Wei Ying and I have a child’

No. Maybe not. Wei Wuxian could've- “Did you keep it?” Legally, Wei Wuxian wouldn't have been able to abort without Lan Wangji's permission. But then, legality has never been a concern to Wei Wuxian for all Lan Wangji has known him.

Wei Wuxian blinks, clearly caught off guard by the question. “Uh, yeah. Her name is Daiyu, she’s four. Turning five. In a couple of months actually.”

“Daiyu.” Lan Wangji repeats, nodding, it’s a nice name. She’s four. “May I meet her?” Did Wei Wuxian want him in her life? Did he want Lan Wangji in his? Maybe he met someone else? Maybe what Uncle said stuck with him hard enough that he doesn’t want anything to do with Lan Wangji anymore.

“Well. She’s at school. Well, not school. Qing-jie said she could start next year if she really wants to, but four is too young.” Wei Wuxian shrugs, “I didn’t start school til I was nine so, I don’t really have an opinion. Or, I don’t get one.” That felt wrong. But Lan Wangji has not being helping Wei Wuxian, so, he also does not get an opinion. He thinks. “But there are these activities that go on at the school. From eight to eleven, and then from twelve to three. Technically she’s too young for those too, but the organizer is scared of Qing-jie, so, she’s allowed.” Wei Wuxian nods, “Our daughter is terrifyingly smart Lan Zhan. She might take over the world.”

“She will deserve it.”

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian exclaims, “You cannot endorse your daughter taking over the world.”

“If she can do it, why shouldn’t she?”

Wei Wuxian’s mouth moves, clearly intent on saying something but nothing comes out but a bark of laughter, “Holy shit. Wen Qing is never going to believe me being the sane parent. What the fuck.”

Ah, too much? He does have four years to make up for. Besides, why shouldn’t he support their daughters business ventures? Or would this be politics? Ah, it would be politics. In that case, “Not until she is at least fourteen.”

“...You’re so going to be the soft parent.” Was Wei Wuxian’s only comment. Then he checks his phone and stands up, “We should start walking over to the school. You can meet Daiyu, and we’ll see if she took our conversation last night to heart.”

Lan Wangji furrows his brow slightly at that, standing as well. Did, Did Daiyu not have a high opinion of him? No, of course she wouldn’t. No matter what Wei Wuxian said, he has been absent. Wei Wuxian chucks both their drinks, which seems like a horrible waste but Lan Wangji was not about to suggest he actually finish that drink, so he follows Wei Wuxian out without comment.

“Does she not like me?” Lan Wangji asks as Wei Wuxian leads them to the school.

Wei Wuxian hums, “It’s not that. It’s just, ok, for the past five years, it’s been the general belief that you essentially had your Uncle break up with me for you in like, the shittiest way. So, in general the Wens aren’t the Lans biggest fans. After Lan Xichen explained what actually happened, the adults are all coming around. Daiyu seemed to be also, but it might still take a while. I mean, yesterday she thought you wanted nothing to do with her.”

“Incorrect.” Lan Wangji would never not want anything to do with his child. He only wishes he had known about her sooner.

Wei Wuxian snorts, “Yeah, explained it to her last night. We shall see if she remains unconvinced.”

He hopes not. He would like to meet her. He would like to help raise her. He should move out here. “If Daiyu is amicable, how do you feel about me moving out here?” He should ask. It might be overstepping. They did break up five years ago, technically.

Wei Wuxian blinks, clearly surprised, “Ah, to spend time with Daiyu? I don’t know how your uncle would feel if you moved out here, maybe you could use the Nie’s cabin every few weeks, for visitation? That way you could still work, and meet people.”

Why would Lan Wangji want to meet people? He hates people. Wait. Lan Wangji considers the words, coming to the conclusion that it was a euphemism. But for- Oh. Ew. “No people. Only Wei Ying.”

Now Wei Wuxian was surprised and confused, and he chuckles awkwardly, “Lan Zhan, it’s been five years.”

“It’s only ever been Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji affirms, then, softer, “If Wei Ying no longer wishes for a relationship...” it would hurt, but he would get over it.

(He would not. He would spend his decades with the bunnies Wei Wuxian got him writing sappy love songs. As he’s been doing for five years. Although, in those decades, he might actually relent to Nie Huaisang’s plans of recording and selling those songs.)

Thankfully Wei Ying shakes his head, “Ah no! That’s not-” Wei Ying nods, and steals Lan Wangji’s wording, “Only Lan Zhan.”

It makes Lan Zhan smile softly, entirely entranced by Wei Wuxian, entirely in love with the man in front of him.

When they arrive at the school, there are children running about the front area on the grass. “Oh, they must’ve let out early. We still have ten minutes.” Wei Wuxian comments idly. Lan Wangji was curious as to what he planned for them to do for ten minutes, but that was moot now. Instead, Wei Wuxian was scanning the yard, presumably for Wei Daiyu. Eventually he seems to find her since he makes several ‘come over’ motions.

Soon enough a small child barrels into Wei Wuxian’s legs. “Oof. Nice to see you again too.” Wei Wuxian jokes, smiling down at their daughter.

Daiyu doesn’t look at Wei Wuxian, instead, still clinging to Wei Wuxian’s leg, she turns her head slightly to look at Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji’s breath catches in his throat, she had Wei Wuxian’s nose and chin. He crouches down to be on her level. “I am Lan Wangji, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Wei Daiyu.”

Wei Wuxian snorts, “You don’t need to be formal with your own daughter Lan Zhan. A-Yu,” Wei Wuxian puts a hand on Daiyu’s back, making the young girl look up at him, “this is your A-Die.”

Daiyu returns her gaze to Lan Wangji, “Why are you here now?”

“I was told where you were.” Lan Wangji states truthfully.

“How come you didn’t look for us?” Daiyu demands.

“I did.” Lan Wangji admits, making Wei Wuxian stop, blinking in shock, “But your A-Niang is very good at disappearing.”

Daiyu seemed to consider before nodding, accepting that answer, “Are you staying?”

“If you’ll let me. If you want me here, I will be here for you, for the rest of my life.” Lan Wangji promises.

Lan Wangji worries, for a moment, that they were the wrong words as tears well up in Daiyu’s eyes, but then she was in his arms, burying her face in his shirt, soaking it with tears and snot- not that Lan Wangji minded- telling him he was never allowed to leave. Lan Wangji wraps his arms around his daughter, holding her close with a soft smile on his face.

So, they were the right words.

Lan Wangji smiles up at Wei Wuxian, who seemed utterly relieved and happy, just smiling softly at the pair, Lan Wangji knows he still irrevocably in love with Wei Wuxian, and seeing him like this makes him confident that Wei Wuxian still loves him. With that, Lan Wangji knows with absolution, that he's moving out here.

Whether he tells anyone is still up for debate.

#Lan Wangji #Wei Wuxian #LWJ #wwx #my writing #Lan Xichen #Five Year Misunderstanding #cql #the untamed #also i learnt that kids start school at six/seven in china #so Daiyu has activities at the school\#and wwx wanted lwj to meet ayuan hence the wait until school was actually done #if Daiyus characters are wrong or something else is wrong pls tell me #I literally wrote this in an hour last night and have barely editted it #but also wanted to post it because I won't until next week if i don't now

7 notes · View notes

thewebcomicsreview · 3 years

Photo

Homestuck 2 has updated! Christmas is ruined!

Previously, on Homestuck 2: Literally nothing happened, and a non-trivial portion of the patreon supporters gave up and quit. Can this update pull a Christmas miracle and right the sinking ship of Homestuck 2? Probably not, but let’s find out!

youtube

We’re back in Candyland, having completely skipped over Karkat and John talking about Dave’s apparent death, because this comic is only interested in long conversations when they’re boring and not about anything at all. That’s alright, I got the gist of it.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

So, it appears to be morning now, meaning that John’s son has been missing in a war zone for almost 24 hours and I guess John literally forgot Harry existed?

Prediction: This conversation is going to end in some variant of “Where is our son?” “Oh shit!”

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid

ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid

ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

What.

So, I went back and checked, and apparently nowhere is it explicitly said that Harry Anderson was also looking for the Vriskas, so I guess he....stayed home? Which makes sense, I suppose, but maybe a “Stay here I’ll go look for them” would’ve helped. I wasn’t the only one who thought Harry was out looking for Vriska too.

ROXY: sup

ROXY: follow me

ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way

JOHN: haha ok.

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

Is Roxy....horny? Is the solid she’s looking for John’s dick? I mean, that’d make her saying Harry wasn’t available kind of weird, but I think this framing is a fake-out.

...

What the fuck is that lamp, Jesus Christ it’s awful. Just a cat’s asshole, facing the door.

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert

JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding.

JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

Oh hey, it was a fakeout. Good job, Homestuck 2. You successfully implied something just through the art. Art which, by the way, looks a lot better than the last chapter. There are backgrounds and everything. I wonder if Chapter 15 was rushed out due to Hiveswap and that’s why it was so weak?

He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

I’m not the biggest fan of the way the narration is going JOHN IS AFRAID OF SEX WITH ROXY LIKE HE’S A TEENAGE VIRGIN AGAIN (LIKE IN HS1!) AND IT DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IT’LL BE IMPORTANT LATER, but okay, noted.

ROXY: u said ur house is gone??

JOHN: yep.

JOHN: completely.

ROXY: jeez

Heh. I like Roxy, still.

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

If this comic actually uses the phrase “home” and “stuck” in the same sentence I’m turning this blog around and we’ll go right back to Winnipeg.

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

I feel unqualified to talk about how hard Roxy is pushing the June Egbert thing.

....Is that the fucking portal from Hiveswap under a tarp? Also hi Candy Callie, appearing in HS2 for the first time. One of the Calliope’s is nonbinary, I think, but I honestly can’t remember and I think it’s Meat Calliope?

JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is?

ROXY: hmmmmmm no

JOHN: oh ok.

JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room.

JOHN: space.

JOHN: wherever we are.

ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now

ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi

ROXY: and by that i mean

ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn

JOHN: right, sorry.

JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain.

ROXY: u catch on fast egbert

Oh thing HS2 has not been great at is that it has a lot of plot mysteries that are supposed to keep us enticed but they don’t really get implanted into the audience’s head (Remember Vrissy mysteriously collapsing that one time? Probably not, she did it off screen and the boys kind of laughed it off). This one’s hard to miss.

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs?

JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done.

ROXY: well no not x actly

ROXY: were in the old meteor

It’s kind of weird how this meteor keeps popping up like this.

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

This is an unexpected but not unwelcome direction for Callie to have gone.

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes?

Oh, wow, we’re going right there, then. This does seem like a bit of a reaction to complaints HS2 wasn’t shmoovin’ enough, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.

CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole.

JOHN: ok.

A’ight, that got a laugh out of me

JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it!

JOHN: i'm so sorry.

JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ):

I like this conversation a lot.

ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you

JOHN: listen.

JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given.

Quite a bit, in fact.

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

Roxy and John have a good dynamic.

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

JOHN: ...right.

John’s phone has very good coverage, since he was able to talk to Terezi in the epilogues, as we’re being subtly reminded of here with that ... before the “right”. I wonder if it still works after alt-Calliope left.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

Okay, so we are now being explicitly told that living in the black hole is fucking with the characters and is part of the reason they make such baffling decisions, like Rose not telling Kanaya about Yiffy, or naming her daughter “Yiffy�� in the first place.

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

So, the plan is literally for Vriska to be such a Huge 8itch that the black hole itself gets sick of her and yeets Earth C out of its own event horizon to freedom.

This is actually a great plan.

And that’s Hamsteak. This definitely feels like a bit of a reaction to complaints about HS2, but hey, I dig it, I guess? Definite improvement over the last chapter.

#homestuck #homestuck 2 liveblog

64 notes · View notes

jamesvanriemsdyk · 3 years

Note

hi James, love your blogging! just wondering, did you ever make an updated-through-the-2021-season version of that Leafs primer you had last year? if not, would you happen to know anybody on here who has made something like it? looking to give my roommate a crash course on who everyone is before they watch the game with me tonight. if you don’t have anything, that’s totally fine, enjoy the game!!

hello. the answer to both those questions is no, but i will literally do one to two sentence player summaries under the cut right now, and i will keep a tally of how many times i have to google. it will not be many.

let me just start with the big four:

auston matthews: #34, first overall in 2016 and first line center, won the richard this year with 41 goals in like 53 games or something crazy. highest drafted latino player ever, theres lot of baggage here, im sure u can explain all this to ur friend but itd take too long to get into it here

mitch marner: #16, fourth overall in 2015, best playmaker on the team, first line rw. human energizer bunny and the best player on the team. hella sexy on the pk, i love him.

william nylander: #88, eighth overall in 2014, second line lw, best skater on the team, also best at zone entries. severely underrated and notoriously hated by the toronto media and also don cherry.

john tavares: #91, second line center, drafted 1st overall to the islanders in 2009. signed w the leafs in 2018 (hometown boy!!! johnny toronto!!!), best captain ever, sexiest man on the team. i love him.

and uh now i will finish the first two lines and then go into lines 3 and 4:

zach hyman: #11, drafted by the panthers and then signed w the leafs because fuck the cats (jk i like them so much but zach didnt so. toronto), lw on the first line, penalty killing KING, the sparkplug of the team. bounces around the lineup but not because hes bad, hes genuinely that versatile of a player. also jewish, which is cool. king.

nick foligno: acquired at the trade deadline, plays rw on either the first or second line depending on injuries, i love him. was the captain of the cbj for like a while, which is neat because he left them for the team they knocked out of the bubble last year. hilarious.

alsx galchenyuk: my beloved. #12, my favorite number, will probably be out of the lineup for at least game 1 because the leafs are literally too good. has a whole saga involved w his career, but used to be a hab and was drafted 3rd overall by them, which is important for this playoffs. king.

third line:

mikheyev-nash-kerfoot

ilya mikheyev: #65, penalty killing king, cannot score shorthanded to save his life but he DESERVES it. signed in the 2019 offszn. i love him.

riley nash: #20, another cbj newbie. originally acquired for cap shenanigans, going into the lineup because hes a veteran and great defensive center. we'll see how this goes.

alex kerfoot: #15, acquired in the kadri trade, another great pker. i love him, he has more points than pld this season, hes great.

AND NOW FOR THE OLD MAN LINE.

jason spezza: #19, actual literal hall of famer, was with the sens and then the stars and now hes HOME, and i love him, and hes amazing. my dad.

joe thornton: #97, another literal hall of famer, was on the sharks FOREVER, now is here and very excited about it. has been decent this season, which was surprising to me, and i love him now. my friend sarah thinks hes hot.

wayne simmonds: #24, my beloved, used to be a flyer, he was exactly who i wanted dubas to sign this offseason, i adore him. my mom.

aaaaand now the dmen:

morgan rielly: #44, dating tessa virtue, the team's best offensive defenseman. people are mad at him rn because hes kinda sucked. we'll see how he does, but i love him either way.

thomas james brodie: #78, i love him i love him i love him i love him. signed from the flames this past offszn, best dman this team has seen in probably decades. i love him.

jake muzzin: #8, acquired from the kings, i love him deeply. will punch a bitch in the face and crush them also. love him.

justin holl: #3, works hard loves the game (and the boys), underrated as fuck. been in the organization forever and a day. i love him.

travis dermott: #23, boyfriend material, also been in the org forever, i love him deeply. third pairing/seventh d guy, does his job stupidly well for the disaster it must be to try to do it.

rasmus sandin: #38, drafted 29th overall in 2018, king king KING, hes amazing, holy shit hes so good especially for how young he is, i love him so much, king of my heart, king of this entire blog. i love him.

ben hutton: #55, acquired at the trade deadline, just happy to be here, will maybe get into the lineup if theres injuries, i love him.

GOALIES:

jack campbell: #36, the only goalie that matters, actual sunshine on skates, id let him **** me (thats big for me), i adore him. hes amazing. broke a carey price record this season. king.

freddie andersen: #31, i wish he was still good but he just isnt any more, it makes me deeply sad. hes still sexy tho

dave rittich: #33, BIG SAVE DAVE, acquired from cgy at the deadline, im very fond. will only get into the playoffs if theres insane injuries.

ok so i didnt google any of this but i did check the nhl app like 3 times for numbers. so. i hope this works lmao

#answered #also i see u in my notes all the time and ily #leafs primer #kinda #ok to rb also

13 notes · View notes

emsartwork · 4 years

Text

Winx Timeline/Show Changes Masterpost

PRE-HISTORY

Great Dragon and Shadow Pheonix create the universe

Great Dragon and Shadow Pheonix create life on planets.

Great Dragon and Shadow Pheonix burn themselves out, leave remaining power on Domino.

STONE/METAL AGE

People develop stone weaponry and are hunter/gatherers. Magic is not used or understood.

People use small amounts of magic move into metal manipulation and farming societies

NEOMAGIC ERA

People develop magic techniques, cultures with sustained peace have more technology than warring planets.

Magic splits into categories.

Obsidian formed from massive dark spell. Realix also formed as a result of cast of power.

Ancestral witches born.

Lord Darkar kills to possess the Shadow Flame, is thrown into Obsidian.

Omega Planet becomes deserted due to Obsidian radiation.

First Fairy transformation(Arcadia Clariel of Magix)

MID MAGIC ERA

Lord Darkar Emerges mutated, is defeated and retreats to Obsidian again.

Ancestral Witches begin search for Dragon Flame.

Most planets have a united monarchy now.

Danix transformation created and Earth unified under Dana.

LATE MAGIC ERA

Lord Darkar emerges again.

The Wizards of the Black Circle start to gain power.

Morgana Takes the throne of Tir Nan Og

The Wizards of the Black Circle “vanish” Neverland, including inhabitants.

Ancestral Witches begin to work with Lord Darkar

Acheron begins collecting things into his book.

The Wizards of the Black Circle imprison Tir Nan Og.

7 Ancestral Fairies create the Mythix Wands and defeat Acheron.

Ancestral Witches create Valtor and begin conquering planets.

Ancestral Witches put a cruel fairy on the throne of Eraklyon.

Ancestral Witches turn on Lord Darkar, sending him back to Obsidian.

Morgana escapes the imprisonment and searches for other fairies, slowly losing her memories.

MODERN ERA

Erendor Becomes king of Erakylon.

Bloom(+winx+boys+other characters about the same age) is born.

Seige of Domino: Politea betrays Daphne, Ancestral witches attack Domino. Ancestral Witches defeated by Oritel and Marion and all pulled into Obsidian. Valtor defeated by the company of light. Domino cursed, Oritel and Marion captured, Daphne killed and spirit is tied to Sirenix. Bloom receives Dragon Flame and is sent to Earth.

PRE SEASON 1 EVENTS

Faragonda becomes headmistress.

Roxy is born.

Morgana returns to Tir Nan Og.

Sky and Diaspro are arranged to be married.

Flora meets Helia.

Sky and Thoren are attacked.

Flora’s mom gets remarried.

Aisha finds dancing.

Musa’s mother dies.

The Trix start their search for the Dragon Flame.

Stella starts dating Brandon and is expelled from Alfea for reckless endangerment.

SEASON 1

Stella’s spacecraft gets attacked and crashes on earth.

Bloom starts to attend Alfea and gains magic winx.

The Winx club is formed.

The Trix identify and steal the Dragon Flame from an emotionally vulnerable Bloom.

Bloom follows Daphne’s spirit to Domino, discovers her past.

The trix launch an attack on Magix. Bloom and the winx(+red fountain and alfea and cloud tower students) defeat them.

Trix imprisoned in the Ohm correctional facility for magic users.

NOTE: only Stella and Brandon are dating as of this season.

BETWEEN SEASON 1 AND 2

Lord Darkar emerges from Obsidian in the chaos of the Trix, sets up underground.

Begins searching for the codex pieces.

Lord Darkar kidnaps the pixies. Aisha tracks them down.

Professor Avalon is hired by Alfea for the coming semester.

SEASON 2

Aisha rescues Piff.

Lord Darkar imprisons the real Professor Avalon.

Lord Darkar breaks the Trix out of prison.

That mess in Downland happens.

Bloom and Sky officially start dating.

Lord Darkar recognizes Bloom’s Dragon Flame.

The winx escape with the pixies and rescue Brandon from Downland.

Flora meets Helia again but doesn’t remember him right away.

Lord Darkar gets the red fountain codex piece, the cloud tower piece, the alfea codex piece and then the Pixie Village Codex piece.

Charmix is earned in the wildlands of Magix.

Timmy and Tecna start dating.

Flora and Helia are skirting the edge of dating.

Bloom is kidnapped and turned to Dark Bloom.

Darkar, Dark Bloom, and the Trix enter the Realix, the winx follow.

Bloom is turned back to herself BY ALL HER FRIENDS NOT JUST A FLIPPIN BOYFRIEND.

Defeat Darkar with Charmix convergence and he returns to Obsidian.

BETWEEN SEASON 2 AND 3

The trix escape from the realix through soul convergence(witch thing) and are sentenced to Omega.

Radius and Casandra start dating and become engaged.

SEASON 3

Valtor is released and attacks Andros, Aisha returns to deal with it.

Valtor manipulates Casandra and Chimera, leeches off of Radius’s core/connection to the second sun.

Bloom and Valtor’s dragon fires resonate.

Aisha and the girls go to Andros

Aisha loses her sight, but regains it through Enchantix.

Valtor manipulates Diaspro, now specifically targeting Bloom.

Stella earns Enchantix by saving her father.

Valtor takes Cloud tower and attacks Alfea.

Musa earns Enchantix by saving Galatea.

Faragonda is turned into a tree.

Winx go to Lynphea and Flora earns her Enchantix.

Flora and Helia start dating.

Fargonda is healed.

Omega portal on Andros unstable, Tecna closes it and earns Enchantix.

Bloom goes to Pyros and forces Enchantix, she cannot miniaturize or use fairy dust.

Nabu shows up.

Winx minus Bloom get the water stars.

Valtor gives the Trix Disenchantix.

Valtor is defeated by Bloom punching through the ancestral’s magic and taking back the dragon flame spark in him. He is re-imprisoned on Omega.

Nabu and Aisha start not-not dating(aka they go out and spend a lot of time one-on-one but aren’t calling it dating).

BETWEEN SEASON 3 AND SOTLK

Bloom begins her search for her parents.

Locates Hagan.

SECRET OF THE LOST KINGDOM

Girls find Hagan, who made the sword Oritel wields(it’s also connected directly to Marion’s core magic which is how she like, “possess” it).

Winx minus Bloom graduate from Alfea.

Bloom is sad on earth but less time is spent on that than in the movie lol.

Bloom talks with Daphne in her dreams again

Daphne has spent the last two seasons searching for the lingering connection to their parents and has managed to re-ignite it.

This triggers the witchs’ spirits in Obsidian and they pull Mandragora out of stasis and send her out to find the source.

Bloom turns 21, party, group leaves for Domino.

The whole Roc thing is unnecessary but Musa is my fave so it stays.

Library

Book of Fate is a book of collected Prophecies from Magic users of Domino.

Riven is stung by Mandragora’s insect and a sleeper spell is placed on him(can’t be detected unless active).

They don’t go to pixie village as they can literally just go to Obsidian without a random key.

The sleeper spell in Riven is activated, trying to keep everybody out of Obsidian but being familiar with mind control he manages to resist it enough to send the girls through to obsidian before he loses control.

Musa stays behind, protecting the boys from Mandragora while they talk Riven back to himself.

Musa is still injured but by Mandragora, Riven latches on to this long enough to deck Mandragora and remove her hold on him.

The rest of the Winx push through the horrors of Obsidian and find their way to a small patch of stability where the ancestrals have tied their spirits.

The girls are drained, and eventually only Bloom is left standing because of the dragon flame.

Daphne manages to conjure her own spirit and “possesses” Bloom’s body, they take the sword and are able to stab the objects the ancestral witches’ spirits are tied to, defeating them for the time being(they’ve been in Obsidian long enough to have mutated into something more than spirits tho).

Look I’m sorry I love Sky but he doesn’t save the day, the prophecy about the king with out a crown was translated from ancient Dominian and “king” was a gender neutral term and actually refers to DAPHNE. WHO IS THE RIGHTFUL RULER OF DOMINO WITH HER PARENTS OUT OF THE PICTURE.

Together Bloom and Daphne pull their people back onto the planet and heal a small portion of it(the planet continues to recover as people populate the areas again)

Bloom’s enchantix is complete now.

The ancestral witches’ leave obsidian as part of the pull, and are drawn to the trix because of their blood connection

MAGICAL ADVENTURE

yes it takes place before season 4.

Bloom and her parents re-establish Domino and begin to rebuild.

Sky goes to help, and asks to begin courting Bloom, who misinterprets this as a marriage proposal and she’s not happy about it like in the film, ok like she is happy but is also like “UMMM. I HAVE A LOT GOING ON RN IDK ABOUT THIS SKY” but she accepts and the media run with the story.

Bloom and the Winx return to Alfea as esteemed alumni to welcome the new freshmen.

Trix attack, and steal the magic compass from the Alfea Vaults.

They find the Tree of Magic in Pixie Village and begin setting up for their spell.

Sky tells his father about his Courtship with Bloom, who expresses his guilt over Domino(he doesn’t forbid Sky from marrying Bloom because Erendor isn’t an asshole he’s just traumatised lmao).

Sky and Erendor plan to tell the Domino Royal Family about what happened.

Oritel is, understandably upset by his friend breaking a promise, and when Sky tries to explain Eraklyan Courtship customs to Bloom, Oritel lashes out and overreacts, banishing both Erendor and Sky from Domino.

Bloom thinks Sky broke up with her, and in classic Bloom fashion runs back to Earth

She’s joined by the rest of the Winx shortly.

The Winx go to Eraklyon to figure out whats happening and Erendor tells them about Havram

the Winx + the boys want to fix the city and figure that would at least help Eraklyon even if Oritel is still upset.

The trix finally have their spell ready and bind the tree of magic before destroying it

Binding the greater population’s magic usage through the tree’s connection to them(they leave their own magic intact somehow).

However, the ancestrals warn them that there’s a secondary source for the tree of life.

The ancestrals harnessed the Tree of Life’s power originally to threaten Erendor, wrecking the old capital city of Havram with a blast of magic.

The blast took root in the city and is still there.

The Winx lose their magic on the way to Havram, and start freaking out(Nabu is also freaking out but the rest of the boys are p chill with it since they don’t use magic anyways).

The Trix and the Winx+ find the sprout at the same time and in the process of defending/evading the trix’s magic, Icy hits the sprout and sends a shockwave through to the original tree, rejuvenating it and releasing the binding spell.

Oritel shows up after processing his emotions and saves Erendor.

The Ancestral’s are enraged, and forcibly possess the Trix.

The winx transform and fight, eventually using a combo of Dragon Flame, Oritel’s sword, and convergence to push the ancestrals out of the trix and finally destroy their spirits for good.

The trix are sent to prison again.

Oritel and Erendor apologize to each other and become friends again(brotp 4lyfe yo).

Sky explains everything to Bloom who fully understands Ereklyan courtship/marriage now and is MUCH more comfortable with the situation.

Havram is still kind weird and won’t be Eraklyon’s capital, but with the sprout/ancestral magic gone there’s less unstable magic and people can move back or restart their lives there.

SEASON 4 BEGINNING

Musa and Riven have started dating.

Aisha and Nabu are official.

The winx are invited back to Alfea to speak at a special seminar(they’re not full time teachers but Faragonda proposes the idea to them for the future).

Wizards of the Black circle finally rejoin Earth after taking a break and detect fairy magic lingering in Gardenia.

Wizards of the Black attack Bloom at Alfea.

Her dragon flame prevents her magic from being absorbed into the circle.

Faragonda tells the Winx about Earth’s true history(Bloom didn’t know, but the rest of the winx kinda knew a little)

Bloom insists they go after them to stop them from harming Earth anymore.

Faragond suggests they go to the Tree of magic to see if there are any allies they could find already on Earth.

The tree has faded flowers (The imprisoned Earth fairies and Eldora who has hidden herself from magic detection), and a new bud (Roxy).

The winx aren’t able to find the current location of the magic users so they set up in Gardenia and find jobs through Bloom’s family connections,

Flora and Stella start making magic trinkets and such on the side to sell online.

WORLD OF WINX SEASON 1

Neverland had been pushed into a warped pocket dimension by the Wizards of the Black Circle when they launched their first attack, and has begun to fall apart and mutate.

Bella Tinker, the Major Fairy of Dreams, connected to the source of dreams, subconscious mind, and night, on Neverland(sister source to Tir Nan Og’s), is desperate and operating in a complete mental break.

She begins using her dream abilities to seek out people with weird “talents”(remnants of magic) and pull them into Neverland so they can maybe help her.

She can’t transfer them through to Neverland physically, but she steals their consciousness, this process turns the person’s magical potential into “dream dust”.

She eventually leeches enough dream dust from her victims to create a few hourglasses that can allow a Neverlander to manifest in the real dimension for a limited amount of time.

This makes gathering more dream dust easier as when the person’s consciousness is pulled through to Neverland some of it gets left behind irl.

The Winx get internships for a talent/human interest show that and they begin searching earth for people that stand out in the hopes it will lead them to the last magic user.

Tecna(in HR and tech) notices that a few of the applicants to the show start to drop off the radar, she does some digging and finds out that all of them have gone into mysterious comas.

The Winx begin to suspect a magic source of these issues.

They get Tecna to select Anabelle partially as a ruse because they can actually monitor her in Gardenia.

Unfortunately Anabelle goes into a coma, the winx are the first to find her, and she is surrounded by a fine golden dust, a figure is collecting the dust before running off.

The Winx follow, and are very unstable in the pocket dimension.

They are unable to rescue Anabelle’s consciousness, and when the hourglass runs out of time, they are forced back into the normal dimension.

This happens a few times.

Each Winx earns Dreamix by forging a true connection with someone’s “dreams”(Bloom with Annabelle, Tecna with Naoki, Stella with Sophie, Flora with Vincenzo, Musa with Madelyne, Aisha with Silke)

most of the other events with Bloom and Jim happen same as in canon except Jim is way more sketchy.

Silke fixes their hourglass and the winx are able to enter Neverland without being unstable.

They defeat Bella, who retreats to her magical source.

Jim stays behind to gain power and his crew, and the Earthians are returned to earth with only minor mutations.

The release of so much potential magical power makes the walls between Neverland and the Magix Dimension much thinner, allowing some of the Neverland inhabitants easier passage to Earth.

Outsiders however still cannot enter Neverland without suffering mutations and deteriorations(unless they have dreamix or unconscious magic skills).

SEASON 4: THE REST OF IT

After the WOW show ended the girls need new jobs to pay rent and shit(Stella is on a firm allowance, Bloom’s kingdom is still super broke, and Aisha’s assets are mostly in jewels that don’t translate to earth lmao)

They’re still hiding their fairy identities.

Flora uses her nature magic with stuffed animals to create small “living” fairy pets(they’re just plushies being moved around by plant bones and stuff) and the girls start selling them online(like etsy) along with other magic trinkets.

The other girls also get jobs and they eventually have enough to pay rent on a small shop with a few rooms above it.

They start a magic shop full time and are selling the plant-plushes full time, offering other services as well.

Carmen (background character in the show more important in the comics) approaches them at this time to help Tecna manage the website part.

Bloom and Andy reunite and are invited to the Frutti Music Bar.

Bloom and Roxy start talking and become friends.

The specialists arrive and find the winx.

Andy (who is hella gay) and Bloom are fairly affectionate and Sky gets real jealous.

Musa is talking music with Marc and Rio but Riven is hella insecure and gets irritated as well.

The wizards show up and they fight over the wrong girl.

Riven gets a job at the mechanic

Timmy gets his IT support job

Helia gets a HORRIBLE haircut and regrets everything.

The thing with Mitzi happens, Brandon and Stella fight briefly but make up.

Tecna reports someone downloading a ton of the plant-plushes.

The girls paint their apartment with Roxy, Andy, Marc, and Rio.

Sky and Riven become upset again because fragile masculinity.

The girls finally realize Roxy is the fairy they’re looking for and try to convince her to believe in magic and all.

Roxy is like “the fuck are yall ON im noping outta here so fast” but also weird shit is happening to her so she’s like “what if?????”.

The wizards find her and try to force her into the black circle.

Roxy, scared out of her mind is knocked out of the circle by Bloom, who knows her Dragon flame protects her.

Roxy runs, Artu leads her to safety and she adopts a cat, she also has a vision of Morgana urging her to trust herself and the fairy girls.

Roxy emerges from hiding and tries to go home, but Artu is replaced by Duman who alerts his fellow wizards.

The winx, severely beaten, send an emergency call out to the specialists, who show up and manage to keep the wizards away from Roxy for a little while.

Roxy, cornered and scared, sees what she thought was her dog turn into Duman who grabs her, the real Artu attacks Duman but is knocked to the side.

Roxy releases Panic Magic forcing Duman back and Bloom rushes in forcing him further away from Roxy.

Roxy puts her absolute trust into Bloom at that moment and Bloom gains Believix.

Bloom is able to really deal damage, the winx are refusing to give up, and the specialists are ready to rip them to shreds so the wizards mount a tactical retreat.

Roxy accepts her heritage.

Roxy investigates her photo’s looking for clues, finds the farm.

Winx go to farm followed by wizards.

Batson is trying to restore the farm to a working level after it had been left abandoned for several years.

He doesn’t want the winx there, but Flora forms a tentative friendship with him through plant talk.

The Wizards attack, Batson is protected by Flora.

The winx send Roxy into the barn to hide, the horses inside are unsettled and she unconsciously uses some of her magic to calm them, alerting the wizards who set fire to the barn and orchard to trap her.

Batson freaks, and runs into the barn to let the horses out.

Roxy finds a small trap door in the floor of the barn and opens it, her touch sparks off the white circle which begins glowing and she runs outside, summons birds and insects to attack the wizards who can’t penetrate the shield the white circle is creating and they retreat.

Batson is about to pass out but Flora comes in and shields him from the flames.

Batson is in tears, all of his hard work has gone up in flames.

Flora sits down and talks with him, reminding him that nature is enduring, and seeds that are cared for will always grow.

Flora can’t do anything about the barn but she does restore Batson’s Orchard, Batson is hopeful and puts his faith in her magic and Flora gains Believix.

Musa sings with Andy and his band and they all receive a card from Jason Queen.

Musa starts to spend a lot of time with the band practicing for their auditions.

Nabu and Helia try to help Riven work through his feelings.

Sky and Bloom talk and make up.

Roxy is possessed by Nebula through the white circle and tries to go after the wizards.

The winx end up fighting Roxy and the girls who are using Enchantix use the fairy dust to remove the effects of the white circle from her.

The winx start to be local heros in Gardenia.

Mitzi Sally and Darma are recruited by the wizards early and are used as spies.

Riven can’t move past his insecurity and lashes out at Musa after her audition.

Musa decides to break up with him.

Musa and the band start training with Jason’s company, and the friendships Musa forms with the band only makes the situation with Riven worse.

The wizards try to capitalize on this by setting a fire in Gardenia while the band is hard core practicing because they’re concerned Jason will drop them.

Musa uses her singing spells to reach and protect the band who place their faith in her and she’s able to earn believix.

Aisha is concerned Nabu is withdrawing from her.

She meets with Cindy(minor character in the show bigger in the comics) who is interested in working at the shop.

The girls hire her but Cindy’s (abusive) boyfriend Gregory is hanging around the store causing issues.

Aisha tells him to leave but he gets angry and pulls Cindy out with him, Aisha chases after them.

She interferes before Gregory can hurt Cindy and just fucking decks him(because Aisha).

Cindy breaks up with Gregory and spends the night with the winx.

Aisha confides in Cindy about her worries about Nabu, but Cindy assures her Nabu sounds wonderful.

Aisha encourages Cindy and tells her she deserves someone better than Gregory.

The wizards of the black circle try to capitalize on the situation again and they grant Gregory power.

The shop is attacked and Aisha protects Cindy.

When Gregory corners them, Aisha tells Cindy to run, but Cindy has had a little boost in her self esteem and wants to protect her new friend.

She displays a small burst of magic, which distracts Gregory.

Cindy puts her faith in Aisha and she earns Believix.

Nabu proposes and all is well.

Roxy is kidnapped and transforms for the first time in front of her dad(he remains aware of their fairy activity the whole time).

That weird fight at the train station happens.

Weird thing with the tiger cub doesn’t happen.

Mitzi Sally and Darma are tired of being minions and try to leave the wizards, who don’t take that kindly and force them to start attacking people(Mitzi might be a bitch but she’s not evil).

The other girls take on Sally and Darma, who don’t have a lot of animosity towards them anyways.

But Mitzi, in her controlled state, is just projecting all her rage and jealousy onto Stella.

Stella manages to relate and empathize with Mitzi’s need to be liked and removes the Wizard’s spell with her enchantix dust.

Mitzi trusts Stella to catch her as she falls and Stella earns Believix.

Tecna hides the white circle in the shop’s computer.

Carmen accidentally activates the same program and is transported to the virtual world.

The wizards transport themselves in as well, and go after Carmen assuming she knows something.

Tecna receives an alert from an alarm in the shop that the magic signatures of the wizards were registered.

They rush back and are planning to pull the white circle then lock the virtual world to trap the wizards but Tecna realizes Carmen is inside too.

Tecna volunteers to go get her and the white circle while the rest of the group delay the wizards.

Tecna grabs the circle and finds Carmen and explains vaguely what’s going on.

Carmen, who is not stupid and has realized the programs and technology that Tecna uses could not possibly be from earth, demands the truth.

Tecna is about to comply when Ogron shows up.

Tecna says she can’t explain now but she will later, and hands Carmen the white circle and tells her to run.

Carmen doesn’t completely know what's going on but despite this she puts her entire faith in Tecna, believing she has complete control over the virtual world and will fix everything.

Tecna gains Believix and subdues Ogron. She goes after Carmen and the wizards and the rest of the winx show up at the same time.

The coding Tecna used can’t handle the volatile magical energy in one space and begins to corrupt, Tecna realizes they’re out of time and just transports them all out before the file becomes irreparable.

In the shop with the specialists and Roxy potentially using the white circle the Wizards flee.

Riven makes some steps towards being a better person.

The girls form a band(Musa lead vocals+guitar, Aisha drums, Tecna on Synth, Flora on keys, Stella on a weird harp thing occasionally but mostly stage outfits and contacts, Bloom manages the schedule and does all the graphic design).

The girls go to Tir Nan Og, unlock the Earth fairies.

Morgana wants Roxy to join them and continually pesters her telepathically.

The winx’s believix aren’t able to match the Earth Fairies using Danix.

Faragonda contacts the Ethereal Fairies and they deign to intercede.

The earth fairies begin to systematically remove all of the binds the wizards placed on the natural sources of Earth, releasing ambient magic back into earth and greatly diminishing the wizard’s magical reserves.

Diana also attacks major cities, turning them into urban jungles, this is the most present threat to humanity so the winx tackle her first.

Bloom and Tecna use Sophix to defeat Diana and rejuvenate her source, Diana joins them.

The wizards approach the winx in surrender and are taken to Sybilla.

Aurora begins to slowly freeze the Earth over, demanding the Wizards be given to them.

Stella and Musa use Amorix to function in the cold.

Bloom fights Nebula.

They return to Sybilla.

Morgana, convinced by Roxy, accepts the Wizard’s surrender and promises a fair trial and sentencing.

The Winx minus Flora and the Wizards minus Duman travel to Tir Nan Og.

Flora returns with the Specialists and Duman to Gardenia, she tries to heal him, but his magic is too unstable and the whole fight thing happens

Duman is killed, but he mentioned something about the wizards’ schemes before he died, leading Flora to accept Aterix, and pull him back to life.

She compels him to to tell them all what the plan is and then they all rush off to Tir Nan Og.

Morgana has put on the black circle ring, it self destructs and turns into a magical black hole(like a tiny obsidian).

Nabu, as the only practiced male magic user, absorbs all the magic in the vortex, he is unfortunately unable to expel the magic fast enough causing his core to break and Nabu dies.

Aisha is understandably distraught, and uses Aterix, trying to get him back.

In the commotion the Wizards manage to grab Duman, and Flora after they realize they’re connected and escape to Omega.

As things die down Nebula holds her whole rebellion and traps Morgana in the Mirror, and the Winx realize Flora is missing.

Aisha is trying to interact with Nabu, and is in denial about his state of suffering so she defaults to anger and joins Nebula in hunting the Wizards down.

Meanwhile, the wizards have managed to force Flora to de-transform, leaving Duman in his resurrected state.

Roxy is able to sense Morgana through their telepathic(and familial) connection and frees Morgana finally being revealed as her daughter.

Morgana is weakened and promises to care for Nabu, and they pursue the fairies and the Wizards to Omega to rescue Flora and talk Aisha down from murder.

Flora(mistakenly) isn’t considered a threat by the wizards so they just kind of leave her to freeze, not realizing she has put a special pollen on them that acts as a slow poison.

Flora is found by the winx and they manage to talk Nebula and Aisha down.

The wizards attempt to run again but Flora’s poison has left them dissorinted, powerless, and unable to escape being frozen for eternity(including Duman) by the ice snake thing.

Roxy pulls Nebula with them, being able to connect with her after feeling her rage and pain during the brief possession.

Aisha, still in Aterix, returns with a clearer head, and recognizes she can’t leave him Nabu in a constant state of suffering, so she removes the Aterix spell from Nabu and returns him to his natural state.

Aisha takes Nabu’s body back to Andros.

Morgana appoints Nebula, Diana, Aurora, and Sybilla as joint regents and tutors until Roxy has been sufficiently trained to take the throne(Roxy privately thinks this is a big yikes).

The winx decide to stay and help Earth adjust to magic and continue their band, but leave the Love and Magic store to Carmen and Cindy.

WORLD OF WINX SEASON 2

The whole thing with Venomya is about the same except for the fairy reveal so I’m not gonna mention it.

Wendy Darling was Bella Tinker’s wife, their son was Peter Pan(and the rest of the Lost Boys).

Wendy was a non-magic user outside of Neverland when it vanished, and in trying to rescue Bella and the boys, Wendy pushed her untrained magic too far and the blow back caused her to short circuit and slowly lose her memories and distort what was left of her magic(similar to Morgana).

She did manage to somehow pull Peter out, with serious memory loss and he was in a coma for decades.

Wendy looked after him the whole time, moving them around to avoid suspicion.

When Peter woke up he and Wendy created lives for themselves but are haunted by the feeling that something is WRONG.

Wendy is currently using the alias Matilda or “mattie” and has disappeared, Peter has no memory of Neverland or magic but keeps his name and is studying art at the school in Paris.

Jim likes the power he has on the Isolated Neverland, and wants to permanently get rid of Bella so he can have the place to himself but knows he’s not powerful enough.

He starts attacking natives of the island, and blaming Bella (who is technically still in power but has retreated to her source).

The inhabitants of Neverland begin to reach out to the winx, who are starting to gather some fame world wide as fairies and a band.

The winx enter Neverland, and Jim tells them his version of what’s happening, then tells them about Bella’s past and that maybe her family could be hostages could talk some sense into her.

The winx agree, and leave to visit Morgana to see if she knows anything about Wendy.

Morgana tells them she found Wendy immediately after she managed to pull Peter out but none of her other family members.

Morgana offered to take Wendy and Peter to Tir Nan Og, but Wendy rejects her offer and leaves, saying she’s going to protect her son on her own.

Morgana doesn’t know what happened to them after that as she set Tir Nan Og up as a sanctuary and was then imprisoned.

Bella forms Vertigo.

The Winx try to search for Peter, using variations of Peter Tinker and Peter Darling.

Tecna gets a hit on a Peter Darling but the information is in a census from the 1600’s in London so the girls head out there to get a look at the actual paper to see if there is any more information.

They find a short message written by a suspicious authority figure next to the name noting that Peter Darling moved to Paris to live with his “Aunt” shortly after the census despite not registering any family members.

Vertigo has been wearing Bloom down the whole trip and attacks/is defeated.

Bloom’s Dreamix seems to start evolving/mutating after this.

The girls move on to France, to find the aunt.

Banshee begins to layer whispers into Musa’s music, leading her to become jumpy and irritable.

Jim gets a message out to the girls that he and his crew are being attacked(in reality Jim has trapped the alligator man and provoked the Crocodile man and is getting the Winx to take care of his own mess).

In France Musa breaks off from the group trying to get some alone time to cure her bad mood.

Musa ends up in Notre Dame drawn to a choir practice, she starts talking with a stranger there who is sketching the architecture and people, she compliments his work and they begin a light conversation before he stands and says he has to go as he’s late for a night class.

Musa sees that his notebook has Peter Darling and a school name written on the corner but the choir becomes sharply off key and distorted, Musa grimaces in pain and he leaves before she can say anything.

Musa tries to go after him but every sound she hears is distorted and painful, she tries to call the other girls but only leaves a short message before Banshee launches one of her screams at her.

After the girls take care of the alligator and crocodile man Aisha hears from Tressa about some weird readings concerning the ocean gate.

Aisha says it's possible the gate had been used but the guardian would know, Tressa says the guardian hasn’t reported anything.

Aisha asks Jim if Neverland has any merfolk trapped on the island.

He says they did, but they disappeared recently.

Musa defeats Banshee, Her Dreamix also starts to change.

Bloom and Stella welcome the others back and hear about the mermaids disappearing and Peter being in Paris at some school.

Aisha is concerned about the mermaids as Neverland could have mutated them badly, so they prioritize that, following the trail of magic the merms have left behind.

Fountain thing, then to pool party.

Stella confronts them but is triggered and has a panic attack as the merms manipulate the crowd into laughing at her.

Aisha quickly gets a message to Alligator and Crocodile to scare the crowd off, leaving the merms to flee, eventually they are caught/saved and believe the winx are trying to help them, Aisha sends them to Andros to get them physical help and merfolk community.

The winx focus on finding Matt and Stella suggests they start with the Fashion school where they already have contacts.

Some of the winx go to Neverland to help the pirates.

Stella is still fragile and helps people around the school trying to get her confidence back but she and Aisha get into a fight which just makes Stella feel worse.

Stella visits Nadine and Sophie and hears about Matt, but the lights in the room go out and Nadine and Sophie suddenly start to ridicule Stella and then ignore her, like she’s invisible.

Stella rushes out to try to find Aisha and Tecna but it seems like no one can even see her.

Aisha and Tecna find Stella crying in an empty class room and try to get her to calm down when Obscura attacks.

Stella defeats Obscura, and her Dreamix starts to change.

Peter is kidnapped.

Flora rescues the Pirates with the help of the nature on the island and they all return to help track down Peter and his kidnapper.

Peter is rescued and tells them he has no idea where his mother(wendy) is, as she disappeared almost 30 years ago, only leaving him a small wooden puzzle.

Peter takes them to his apartment to let Tecna analyze the puzzle, where the winx see that he has been painting the same woman over and over again.

Stella asks if he’s in love with her.

Peter laughs and says no, explaining he doesn’t know why he keeps painting her but feels like she’s important.

The winx explain everything about Neverland and his mother and try to use magic to help him memory return, Peter quickly becomes distraught and confused, his memory and the truth are fighting in his brain.

Peter lashes out with a small wave of magic.

It hits the puzzle Tecna is messing with and unlocks it.

Peter quiets and picks up the piece of paper from inside the puzzle.

Peter reads the paper aloud and is pulled through a portal.

Peter flashes to several locations, the spell fizzles and he’s in Neverland.

Bella sees him and almost recognizes him, Peter sees her and tries to call out before being pulled back into the portal.

He’s finally dropped into a ravine with a small shack a few yards away.

Bella is confused, angry, and terribly sad, but can’t remember why.

She redirects her emotions into creating another Nemesis and names it Petra.

Peter approaches the shack as he’s surprised by his kidnapper, the kidnapper triggers some kind of trap, creating a rock/tree monster and he flees with Peter.

The winx try using their spells to find him individually but the trail of magic left by the spell is all over the place.

Flora decides to focus on the wooden puzzle, tracing its origin and how it was formed.

Her spell finds that the magic that created the puzzle is currently active, and it reacts with her spell, pulling her through the same portal until she materializes next to the rock/tree monster chasing Peter and the kidnapper.

Flora disassembles the rock/tree monster, and trips the kidnapper as he tries to flee breaking his amulet.

Peter tells Flora about the shack, but before they can investigate Petra attacks.

Flora defeats Petra and Stella appears having used the ring of solaria to teleport her to Flora, they return to Paris before anything else can attack them.

Flora’s Dreamix begins to change.

Aisha is suspicious of Peter, claiming he knew about the puzzle and was trying to run away from them.

Peter says it was an accident and he knows nothing about magic.

Aisha decides to train him magically so he isn’t a danger to the rest of the group.

She has zero mercy on him during their first training, and Peter calls her an Iron Maiden.

Bella takes this and creates Metalica, based on every harsh, impatient part of Aisha.

The girls think maybe Jim should train Peter, and see if they can get him an audience with the queen to explain everything.

In Neverland, Jim reminds the girls he doesn’t use magic, only magic items (a lie) and suggests they try to find the witch, Tiger Lily.

Tiger Lily says Peter will never have proper control of his magic unless he finds his memories, which were absorbed into his Compass when he was pulled out of Neverland.

Peter claims he lost that compass when he was pulled out but Tiger Lily gives them an image of it she found through scrying.

After the group returns to Earth, Aisha demands they all go to towns closest to where Neverland used to be to look in antique shops for the compass even though everyone is tired and Tecna is trying to find the thing online.

They try most of the day but are exhausted and Aisha claims she’ll look on her own.

Metallica shows up, and Aisha attacks her. Metallica seems to be destroyed and Aisha reports her success to the rest of the winx.

Metallica shows up again but is defeated this time and Aisha’s Dreamix begins to change.

Flora reminds the Winx about the Shack in the ravine, and they go there,

Tecna doesn’t let anyone go past the boundary line until her spell detection has finished, and places green footprints on the ground, instructing the winx not to step outside of them.

Peter does but nothing happens.

They get into the shack and find Wendy.

Wendy is not in a good place mentally or physically because of her magic blow back, but the winx are able to heal some of it and greatly ease her suffering.

Peter asks Wendy about his compass, Wendy isn’t super coherent but she sold it to someone after “the horrible thing” happened and it was while Peter was still “sleeping”.

Tecna decides to narrow her search to auction houses, but her tech is glitching out, she blames it on the location and says she’ll try again later.

They eventually find a record of a compass being sold to a Sebastian Park in London just a few years ago.

Tecna has been having sparks, overloads, and error messages galore and is starting to lose it a little as they make their way to Sebastian's Estate.

Sebastian isn’t taking any offers on his pieces right now but is happy to show admirers his collection.

The winx get trapped inside due to electrical malfunction, and Virus finally reveals herself, infecting the rest of the winx, and attacks Tecna.

Tecna defeats her and her dreamix begins to change.

Sebastian is a good dude and gives the Compass to Peter and the girls as an apology.

Peter regains his memories and his magic is immediately less troubled.

They return to Neverland, with Wendy who stays with Tiger Lily, and join forces to beat Bella’s Nightmare back.

Peter and Bella meet again, and Peter finally recognizes his mom.

Bella breaks down, her memories and magic still all jumbled, but she stops fighting, the winx explain that with Bella’s help they can probably restore Neverland to Earth.

Jim, seizing his opportunity, takes Wendy captive, proclaims himself king, and demands the winx leave Neverland as it is.

The other inhabitants side with Jim, rejecting Bella’s truce and not knowing he caused most of their problems.

Bella doesn’t remember her but knows Wendy is important and surrenders, she’s caged in the lagoon.

Peter wants to fight Jim and get his moms back.

He has to flee into the forest as the winx are forced out of Neverland.

Peter rescues Bella, but faces off with Jim.

The winx convince the pirates, alligator, crocodile, and tiger lily that Jim is the traitor.

Peter, aided by Bella, rescues Wendy.

Jim flees and corrupts the source of Neverland, trying to hurt Bella.

Smee finally stands up and pushes Jim into the corrupted source, killing him and removing his magic from Neverland.

Neverland is restored, along with Wendy and Bella’s memories.

BETWEEN SEASON 4 AND 5

Roxy applies to Alfea.

Sky gets the Heart of Eraklyon.

The trix are Imprisoned for underwater crimes of an unknown nature(???).

SEASON 5

the wishes basically don’t exist.

Tritannus attacks at the coronation, gets thrown in prison.

Oil leak.

Sky loses the pendant.

Winx can’t stay underwater long enough to get all the oil.

Oil mixes with a wild magic source flowing up from the ocean floor, gains semi-consciousness(plant or algae like) and begins pursuing a stronger magical signature; the ocean gate.

Phylla tries to stop it but the viscous nature of oil and the magical properties it gained make it very resistant.

Flows through, Tritannus absorbs it, and the tangential wild magic from earth mutate him into Monster!Tritannus.

Sky is being distant and superstitious about the pendant.

Tritannus removes the binds on the Trix’s magic, steals Phylla and Lemmy’s magic, and heads to earth with trix + mutants.

Winx fight them but are having trouble underwater, Aisha recognizes her cousin.

Winx go to Alfea with Roxy, Krystal is introduced, the Winx ask Faragonda about water powers.

Faragonda tells Bloom about Sirenix, but advises she talk to Daphne first.

Daphne is hesitant but tells Bloom about the Elementix Compendium, a book she hid in the Alfea archives, but she refuses to help them find it.

Winx start to look for it, Trix attack, Sky gets amnesia. Krystal tries to heal him, can’t.

Timmy and Tecna are trying to organize the archives to find the Elementix Compendium, Trix curse Tecna’s phone and she turns into a robot.

Tecna is un-cursed and finds the Elementix Compendium.

Tritannus begins to hunt for Daphne.

The Trix head to earth to grab more power, the winx follow to protect Gardenia and Diana(major fairy of nature) warns them a special flower is about to bloom there.

Trix and Winx chase the lilo/Macy over gardenia, Flora saves Macy and regains confidence, Trix get powered up.

Winx can’t open the Elementix Compendium, Faragonda explains Harmonix=befriend one each of the elemental companions and tells them to go to Graynor(on planet Magix) to speak with an Ethereal who might be able to help them earn Harmonix quickly.

Find creature of the rainbow mantle=cheat code to Harmonix.

The winx earn Harmonix, open the Elementix Compendium, where they can kick start each of the quests(usually the quests are started by the elemental companions).

They start the sirenix quest= get a pearl(each girl needs a pearl this is not a group project).

There’s a pearl on almost every planet with a riddle for finding each, the girls decide to go for the ones on their home planets, the Elementix Compendium has the riddles for some but not all.

Search for shimmering shells, Aisha bonds with Lemmy.

Aisha gets Pearl of Self Confidence.

Head to Royal depths, Stella bonds with Illirus.

Fight at toxic waste dump Sky gains a little memory back.

Stella gets Pearl of Chance.

Riddle for Melody’s pearl, go to melody, Musa gets turned into mutant seal, bonds with Sonna and reverts.

Musa gets Pearl of Ingenuity.

Tritannus captures Daphne.

Tecna solves Zenith riddle, data bridge castle, bond with Lithia, get Pearl of Empathy.

The Christmas episode doesn’t happen its dumb.

Tritannus is torturing Daphne and send the trix to threaten Bloom.

Riddle for Lynphea, Flora bonds with Desiryee, gets Pearl of Compassion.

They head to Domino, Bloom bonds with Serena, gets Pearl of Courage.

Phylla found the heart of eraklyon a while back and has been passing it around the selkies, Desiryee has it and shows it to Flora.

Tritannus sends the Trix to attack Domino, Icy freezes Marion and Oritel, Daphne breaks and promises to tell them everything in exchange for her parent’s lives.

Bloom and Co. return and send the Trix packing before they can shatter Marion.

Sky regains his memory and proposes to Bloom with the Heart of Eraklyon.

Sky warns Bloom about Daphne.

Faragonda tells the Winx where the Source of Sirenix is(because she already KNOWS why wouldn’t she just tell them).

So they head there as Tritannus + Trix are doing the same thing.

Tritannus “steals” the Source, fights with the selkies and Bloom but escapes.

Winx heal the source of Sirenix, pearls are accepted and the girls get Sirenix.

Tritannus, with the stolen selkie powers, rips Daphne’s Sirenix from her, splitting it between the Trix.

Tritannus and Co. enter the Infinite Ocean.

The Ocean’s Center(emperor's throne) needs three crests from the Pillars to be activated.

Tritannus steals the Pillar of Light’s crest, winx come to fight him, icy takes a hit for Tritannus.

Aisha has King Neptune’s Sword.

Pillar of light is fixed by Stella’s sirenix Spell and a group convergence.

Nereus and Tressa are rescued from the mutation spell.

Diaspro is appointed prince regent liaison, she is still bitter towards Bloom, but takes her job seriously only acting on Erendor’s orders.

Daphne warns Stormy and Darcy abt activating the Ocean’s Center.

Daphne contacts Bloom via dream abt the Alfea Wellscape, get “map” of infinite ocean.

Garbage island on Earth is cleaned up.

Tritannus sets the Devourer on the selkies, winx beat it.

Royal assembly happens but the alliance ultimately fails.

Musa suspects Riven is cheating on her.

Tritannus takes the Crest of Balance

Stormy and Darcy control the Singing Whales.

Musa frees them with her Sirenix Spell.

Tritannus activates the Crest and needs to refuel, Stormy and Darcy plan to double cross him.

The Pillar of Balance is fixed.

Daphne tells Bloom to destroy the Crest of Control before Tritannus can get it.

Winx destroy it and stabilize the Pillar, Tecna uses her Sirenix Spell.

Timmy and Tecna go on a date.

Flora feels insecure about Helia and Krystal.

Tecna + winx go to Zenith to talk to King Cryos.

Tritannus is enraged without the crest and begins to attack and pollute the Pillar of Control.

Technology on Zenith goes haywire, Tecna rescues King Cryos and convinces him to join the alliance.

The selkies restore the damage to the Pillar and Tritannus leaves.

Stormy and Darcy leave Icy and Tritannus.

Daphne tells Bloom what’s going on.

Riven surprises Musa with a song.

Stella talks to her parents about how their fighting is affecting her.

The magix dimension alliance is finally agreed to.

Diaspro asks to be removed from Prince Regent Liaison as its negatively affecting her.

Flora finds and uses the Breath of the Ocean and her sirenix spell.

Roy and Aisha bond.

Krystal apologizes to Flora and Helia reassures her of his love.

Tritannus attacks Politea’s cave, the winx show up with Nereus, Tressa, and selkies to fight.

Nereus is hurt but healed by Aisha’s sirenix spell.

Tritannus steals Politea’s sirenix and the ancestral witches’ magic that was in her and escapes to activate the Ocean’s Center.

Tritannus uses his trident to channel the power of the Ocean’s Center and goes magic mad.

Icy is rescued by Stormy and Darcy.

Bloom destroys Tritannus’ trident with her sirenix spell.

Daphne’s physical body is restored by a winx sirenix convergence and Sirenix is returned to normal.

BETWEEN SEASON 5 AND 6

Mystery of the abyss happens just before the finale of season 5 but I honestly don’t care enough about this movie to detail it.

SEASON 6

Daphne is having issues with being physical again, Faragonda suggests to have her join Alfea Staff as a way to help her gain confidence and purpose again.

Selina passes the cloud town entrance exam.

Trix return and are powerful enough to be categorized as enchantresses, use soul convergence to over power Griffin and turn her into a crow.

Selina joins them somewhat reluctantly and uses a story from the legendarium to make the school fly.

Winx visit Lynphea with the specialists, meet Nex and Thoren.

Cloud Tower is attacking Lynphea college, Winx find the source of the flying spell, try to attack, but the legendarium just absorbs their magic and binds their cores and they’re knocked back.

Bloom has to hastily spread her power to her friends or else they’ll die without their core magic.

Her dragon fire re-ignites the other girls’ cores and they continue to try to rescue the students at Lynphea College but are forced to retreat to Alfea.

Cloud tower stays over Lynphea college.

Flora sets out on her own to save Miele, and her core metabolizes the dragon flame as she pushes to help her younger sister, spontaneously transforming into Bloomix.

Bloom goes to Domino to help with the coronation and recoup.

Selina sends a swarm of basilisks after the Winx at Alfea

Stella and Aisha use water and light to reflect all the Basilisk's stone gazes, effectively saving all of Alfea (roxy manages to find a rooster because roxy and keeps herself and her dorm-mates safe individually), pushing their cores far enough to metabolize the dragon flame and earning Bloomix.

Faragonda, Daphne, Stella, Aisha, and Flora stay to defend Alfea, but Musa gets an emergency message from Galatea at the Royal Auditorium and convinces Tecna to come with her to help.

The pandemonium sprites are wreaking havoc on the entire school, and Musa starts to loose it after a while because of her sensitive hearing.

Tecna quickly analyses the school and finds the primo spot for sound to carry and calms Musa down long enough for her to start singing.

Tecna pushes the pandemonium sprites back to let musa sing as much as she can, Musa pushes through her panic and the chaotic noise to send and layer her own song into a harmony that destroys the sprites.

their cores metabolizes the dragon flame and they achieve Bloomix.

Diaspro is attending Daphne’s coronation as part of the Eraklyon Royal Party.

Thoren is friendly with Diaspro, which makes Sky a little suspicious of him.

Bloom is a little delirious from magic fatigue and is starting to panic when the Trix attack.

The winx+Daphne+boys are handling the trix and legendarium creatures.

Diaspro tries to calm a panicking Bloom, but she doesn’t trust her and runs off deeper into the Domino Castle.

Disapro grabs Thoren, the only person who hasn’t had a bad experience with her in the past few years, and convinces him to help her find Bloom and take her to the lowest level of the castle.

Sky and Daphne see them with an unconscious Bloom and freak tf out.

Thoren hesitates to throw Bloom into the vortex as Sky and Daphne are yelling at him, but Diaspro knocks Bloom out of his arms, falling into the flames herself as well.

Bloom’s magic is regenerated by the flames and Diaspro evolves into Enchantix.

They both fly out and Diaspro explains that she did her homework before attending the Coronation, and knew she had to get Bloom to the vortex after recognizing the advanced symptoms of magic fatigue in Bloom.

Sky apologizes to Thoren and Diaspro and Daphne thanks them for helping Bloom.

Bloom and Diaspro come to a mutual respect and try to be on better terms in the future.

The Winx return to Alfea to ask Faragonda about the creatures and power of the Legendarium, but Faragonda only knows its a powerful book from Earth and suggests they look for the Lost Library of Alexandria.

Daphne uses this as a teaching opportunity with some of her students and comes with the winx, not knowing three of them have been possessed by the Trix.

The winx find the library, mummies attack, defeat the mummy, have to deal with the Sphinx, Selina is threatened by Acheron and she enters the crumbling library to steal the Diary.

Bloom finds her and is really confused.

Selina lashes out and they fight for a little before Selina drops the diary and Bloom grabs it before escaping the library.

Diary leads them to China, meet Lu Wei who tells them a little about Faragonda’s favorite flower.

The Trix possessed students cause problems back at Alfea, and Selina shows up, lying to Bloom that the Trix captured her and forced her to do things.

Bloom shows Selina around, Flora is attacked in the greenhouse while Selina is distracting Bloom, almost poison her, but Roxy breaks the spell on Griffin who reveals Selina and the possessed students.

Bloom feels guilty and betrayed and goes to rest on Earth, trying to figure out what happened with Selina.

Is looking at childhood keepsakes and realizes the field they used to play in is full of the flower they’re looking for.

Lockette followed Bloom to earth and Selina sends the vampires after the pixie and Bloom

Bloom sends Lockette back to Alfea through one of her portals to get the Winx while she leads the vamps on a chase.

The winx teleport to Earth using the Ring of Solaria, and help Bloom escape the vamps for a short while.

Bloom tells them what she remembered, but they can’t lead the vamps to Eldora and sunrise is still long off.

Stella gets distracted by the Fashion show while the rest of the group is figuring out what to do.

Winx are captured.

Stella dusts the vampires, rescues the girls, and shows in the fashion event.

In the morning they go to Eldora’s cottage.

The trix follow and attack, but Selina is hesitant to attack her mentor even with Acheron berating her.

She summons the easiest to defeat ghosts in the book as a compromise.

Eldora agrees to help with Selina and the legendarium, but says she can’t do much with out her Mythix wand which holds her Core Magic.

The Winx go to Tir Nan Og to ask if Nebula knows anything about the wands.

Since being freed the Major fairies sensed and found each of the wands trying to find their old friends, Eldora can immediately use hers.

The trix use a soul convergence and an item from the Legendarium to attack the Winx, and Selina uses the cover to try and steal a spark of Bloom’s dragon fire.

The winx defeat the Trix and the wands react to the presence of the legendarium, each choosing one of the winx.

Each time the Legendarium absorbs a magical presence it leaves an anchor in the location, so the Winx go to Calavera to enter the Legendarium World through the anchor point there looking for the Emerald Eyes which are an item instrumental in forming the Legendarium and should help seal it.

Trix enter after them, Selina sets the Pirates on Calavera, Winx pull the eyes from the book and defeat the pirates irl.

Next is the Silver Quill, Winx+boys+Eldora head up to Fearwood to enter the Legendarium from that anchor point.

Selina applies the Snow Queen persona to Icy, and the werewolf curse to the people of Fearwood.

Icy kidnaps Helia, Flora rescues him while the rest of the winx fight off the wolves.

The winx remove the legendarium spell from the people and rest a little before trying to enter the Legendarium world again.

Helia is harsh, cold and aggressive, and Daphne uncovers a frozen shard in his heart left there after Icy threw him into the legendarium world.

Icy shows up to attack again, and freezes the townsfolk, the winx are trying to get everyone to safety but Flora goes right for Icy, she’s knocked down but uses her Bloomix to melt a portion of the forest and get it to fight with her, defeating Icy and all her active spells.

The sliver of ice in Helia’s heart had the Silver Quill in it.

They combine the eyes and the quill, and only need one more item for the legendarium key.

The golden scroll was hidden in the story of the Labyrinith.

Stella is called back to Solaria before they have a chance to get it, and Darcy curses Stella’s Crown and Mirror.

Stella shakes off the mind control with the help of her friends, and goes after Darcy who has retreated to Earth, trying to prevent them from getting the scroll.

Stella defeats Darcy and gets the scroll.

Legendarium key is formed, Trix cloak the tower and Legendarium signature.

Winx go to Zenith to get some tech.

Selina summons frankenstein’s monster who kidnaps Tecna, Stormy attempts to block Tecna from leaving the legendarium.

Musa and some students have been working on a musical protection spell and are almost ready to put it in place, when Selina sends the Sea Witch to steal Musa’s voice.

Selina places the voice in Rumplestiltskin’s collection but the Winx track and find the anchor point, agreeing to trade the legendarium key for Musa’s voice for a short time.

Musa and her students put the protection spell in place at Alfea.

Not being able to do anything against the new protection spell, the existence of the legendarium key, and about to be discovered by tecna’s gizmo, Acheron pushes Selina to duel Bloom, in order to get the spark of dragon flame.

Selina also releases three major fairies from earth as a distraction.

Acheron is released, betrays Selina and the Trix.

Eldora has found the infinity box, and traps Acheron in it.

The winx deal with the fall out from Acheron, while Eldora trades Acheron for the Legendarium Key.

Eldora gives a damaged Selina the key and forgives her for everything she did.

Selina locks the Legendarium, makes up with Bloom, and returns to earth with Eldora.

Thoren and Daphne don’t get married but come out as an official item.

BETWEEN SEASON 6 AND 7

Faragonda asks Roxy to help form the educational side of the Alfea Natural Park. Alfea Natural Park prepares to open to the public.

SEASON 7

Winx are invited to visit the Park pre-opening, Kalshara in bird form comes and kidnaps the last digmole.

Faragonda recognizes Kalshara and tells the winx+roxy how they were classmates in the past and that she had something to do with the digmole’s disappearances in the past.

The winx earn Chronix, Roxy receives a Stone of Memories tied to Bloom, which allows her to follow the winx into the past with out earning Chronix herself.

The winx go back in time and eventually resort to taking all the digmoles before Kalshara can get to them, bringing them to the present.

They also discovered Kalshara’s goal is to control all wild magic and is trying to find the manifestation of the fairy animal’s source, said to be a fairy animal itself.

The digmoles, through Roxy, are able to tell the girls about the source and that some fairy animal types are given a riddle when they’re formed, and pass the riddle of the creature with the first color of the universe on to them.

The winx try to find it in the park, Brafilius steals Roxy’s stone of memories.

The winx go to the past to find the cry cries, Brafilius follows them.

Aisha bonds with Squonk and transforms into Faunix when the girls return to the present with Squonk who has revealed the cry cry is not the animal the girls are looking for.

Roxy has been keeping an eye out for where Brafilius and Kalshara might target next.

The girls go to Lynphea where Kalshara has manipulated a natural source into a wild one, the winx aren’t able to reverse it but they do get all the magiwolves out of the area, Flora bonds with Amarok and obtains Faunix.

The winx go back in time again with Brafilius following them, to see if the Quillcat is the fairy animal’s manifested source.

Musa bonds with Critty and obtains Faunix.

Brafilius fails to get to critty so Kalshara kidnaps the cat.

The winx find Kalshara and Brafilius and free the rest of the fairy animals,

Stella bonds with Shiny.

Roxy learns the sumatran tigers are in danger and defeats the poachers herself, starting a campaign against poaching on earth.

Brafilius and Kalshara head to Zenith to capture a techuirrel, thinking they’ve been around long enough to be the animal the riddle was talking about.

The winx follow, Tecna repairs Zenith’s core as much as she can and bonds with Flitter.

The girls are noticing that while Faunix gives them the ability to withstand wild magic and defend against it, they can’t fix much if the source is wild magic.

Faragonda starts to prepare them all for earning Tynix.

Roxy’s animal telegram system reports a threat to a panda sanctuary on Earth.

Roxy heads to earth to deal with it and Bloom tags along in-case it’s Kalshara(and because she feels useless).

Bloom bonds with Elas and in Faunix is able to defend against his over-done exposure to wild magic long enough for him to become stable again(fairy animals aren’t immune to wild magic and if exposed again after first forming can suffer consequences).

The girls form their Fractix bracelets.

Roxy gets animal messages about Kalshara and Brafilius threatening dragons on Pyros.

Kalshara has damaged the source of natural magic on Pyros, turning it Wild, she demands to know the winx’s information or she’ll destroy the source completely.

The winx can’t defeat her in Faunix but Kalshara leaves after wrecking the source.

The winx then have to transform into Fractix for the first time to fix the source’s flow of wild/natural magic.

Brafilius pulls the same stunt in Paradise Bay hoping to please his crazy sister.

Kalshara and Brafilius head to the Graynor ruins, figuring the creature of the Rainbow Mantle(from season 5) has every color on it, and its powerful enough to be the fairy animal source’s physical form.

The winx follow, and use their Fractix powers in combination with the Creature of the Rainbow Mantle and are finally able to actually defeat Kalshara in a head-to-head battle.

Kalshara wrecks a few sources on earth and send Brafilius to annoy them while she buys them more time to find the fairy animal source.

Kalshara finally finds a connection to Wild Magic in the Ying Yang Diamond.

In doing so, She accidentally frees the Trix from an eternal slumber spell placed on them by Acheron, Kalshara has enough fairy animals held captive again that the Trix each find one their core resonates with.

The trix take advantage of this, transform into Faunix, and steal the diamond from Kalshara.

The winx bring Faragonda her bonded Digmole back.

The trix show up at Alfea to take revenge on the winx, using the diamond to corrupt the heart of Alfea.

The Winx are able to fix it by going back in time with chronix for information and they defeat the Trix with Faunix.

Kalshara shows up with Brafilius.

Brafilius gets his hands on the diamond which reacts badly to the mismash of wild magic in his body and and it drags him to Swan Cave which is thought to just be a normal cave on Magix.

The Winx and Kalshara follow him, and have a brief not-quite-alliance to get Brafilius out from under the diamond’s control.

But Kalshara seizes it from him and uses it in combination with her wild magic, summoning the Fairy Animal Source to her.

All of the winx’s fairy animals (plus a couple other) appear in the cave and merge together, forming a monstrosity that looks something not NOT swan like.

The Infinity Swan, as Bloom nicely dubs it(every one else calls it the infinity THING), smites Kalshara, informs the winx it should not be formed again, consumes the Ying Yang Diamond and bursts into its separate animal components.

Later when discussing it, the winx discover each of them saw the infinity thing as a different color (and the riddle was functionally useless as color is all subjective tecna informs them) but agree the infinity thing was a being never intended to exist and that the ethereals probably separated it the first time it formed.

Brafilius stays with the fairy animals in Swan Cave for a while, while Roxy and Flora work on finding a cure for him.

344 notes · View notes

strawberryybird · 5 years

Note

Me sees the character songs post, immediately wants to know what character songs you have for the characters and why.

ok so. welcome to the rabbit hole that is my music taste and what is my no.1 most frequently done activity.. plastering emotions i have for fictional characters all over my music taste. I restricted myself to ¾ songs for each character & then to Edie, Hubert, Dorothea, Lysithea & Byleth because otherwise we’d be here all day (and those are the Primary Daydream Candidates rn)

under a rm because as im sure we’ve all seen.. i just don’t fucking stop.. also i got weirdly deep about some of these topics. i don’t know how to tag it. tread careful?

Here are some songs.. welcome to my (notoriously bad) music taste. alsoi go in Very heavy handed about it all. i make only a few apologies:

Edelgard:Everybody wants to rule the word - tears for fears. (ucan go with Lorde’s cover but i prefer the original bc im like that.) i meanit’s pretty heavy handed but it’s such an Edelgard song it !!!! fuels my ficwriting. if it’s not so very Edelgard’s relationship with twsitd then idk whatto tell you. plus it’s an iconic song

Medicine - daughter. (daughter is My Favourite Band. Ever. I cannot articulate how much ilove their (and ex:re’s) music!!) anway. this is a hegegard song & i don’ttake constructive criticism. I’ll reiterate this better in other descriptions,but please don’t take my inclusion of a song about such a topic as adevaluation of it in any way, that’s not my intention. The reason I go so feralfor Hegegard is because im no stranger to watching someone you care about hurt themselvesin a way you can’t stop, and that’s what the AM ending evokes in me. Hence: asong I love that one can read the same story in. And then the lyrics ‘You couldstill be / What you want to / What you said you were / When I met you” just !! parallelsEdge of Dawn’s lyrics about regret & overall I’m very feral about this.

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - blue oystercult. this is PRIME Edelgard telling freshly-awokenbyleth she’s been waging war for 5 years. also !!!! “Seasonsdon’t fear the reaper / Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain, we can be likethey are” >>> “The Edge of Dawn (Seasons ofWarfare) (フレスベルグの少女～風花雪月～,lit. Girl of Hresvelg ~Wind, Flower, Snow, Moon~)” .. the link is tenuous but coincidence?? is it, fuck.

Seneca - Novo Amor. this is another one of those songs that could mean something different to everyone. very easy to project onto, is novo amor. I like the story of being prepared to run and break ties at any given moment, but ending up - emotionally or physically - in the same place one always was. apart from the glaring tie of how Edelgard returned to garreg mach, this song is a lot of me trying to repatriate Edelgard’s lack of emotional arc in the game by saying . well. this song.

You can call me Al - paul simon. am i projecting edeleth thoughts onto my favourite song? it’s morelikely than you think!!! but also i like the chorus and all the exasperating ‘call me el’jokes i can make.. i may be half writing a fic based on this song.

Dorothea:Agnes - glass animals. so i have significant emotions about edelthea at the best of times !! and this song !!! really bloody hits it home !! yes I knowit’s got a really heavy and real subject matter and I’m not trying to devalueit or minimise it.. but the story - about watching someone close to you hurtthemselves/get hurt, and doing so in ways you can’t stop them from - is adamn real one. And a Lot of why I love Dorothea’s character in the gamebecause she’s the one who can’t stop her friends from getting hurt – through exposureto warfare .. or stopping Edelgard becomingthe monster at the end of the story. Even though she’s one of the healers onthe beagle’s team. And I feel that.

Ex’s and Oh’s – Elle King. So you know that one spn fanvid featuringthis song about all of dean winchester’s relationships? That, but for my flirting Queen Dorothea Arnault. (and I have the dumbest most fun little headcanon thatonce Dorothea and Sylvain derailed a lgbt+ society meeting whilst Edie wastrying to go over the budget by blasting this song and dancing on the table.The idea makes me laugh)

Hold My Girl – George Ezra. The whole thing about wanting just that onemoment to cherish the people you love for one moment more before you have goout face the world? If that’s not the timeskip’d Dorothea Arnault Aesthetic, Idon’t know what is.

(Call Me Out – sea girls. On a much lighter note, this song is fueling the later half of mydrafts of road trip au. And it’s literally because of that one verse. im gayshut up.)

Hubert:Red Right Hand – nick cave and the bad seeds. Is it on the nose? Is itheavy handed? Oh u fuckin bet but that won’t stop me!!! A) it’s a good song. ItIs. B) I like narrative songs. C) Any ‘red right hand’ symbolism in Anycharacter has me love them immediately and also plonk this song in the middleof any playlist about them. sure, the artic monkeys version might be a bit more on hubert’s brand.. but my mileage varies about it lmao

I had fortress by bear’s den earmarked for Hubie, as I think it’s easilyread about boundaries and a one sided intense relationship & that’s! Hubiebaybee! But I can’t possibly cover unhealthy relationships without shoving thealbum Hospice by The Antlers into every which way of it. It’s by no meansdirectly translatable to Edelgard and hubert’s relationship and it’s arguable ifI should even mention it in the same sentence as a bloody fictional character… that beingsaid, I’ve been having emotions about:Shiva – the antlers. This song specifically reads to me to be a really goodarticulation of my own thoughts about Hubert’s perspective of Edie getting experimentedon. heavy but damn. I like that. I just see a lot of what their teen years togethermust have been like in Shiva.

Time – Pink Floyd. Ok so.. it’s like Hubert in parallel bc I think thissong is a lot about searching for a purpose/reason or a quote unquote bloodyred path in life. And I may have been listening to it when I watched Hubert/DorotheaA support & now it’s just permanently associated with it bc it complementedit so well. And I like it. So . it stays. It’s very much a beagles song to meas well.

Lysithea:The Beautiful Dream – George Ezra. Ok so I read this Edelysithea ficwith this on repeat bc the title reminded me of it, and then I stuck it onrepeat because it worked too well and now.. im crying.. and i like the inflection of Lysithea’s bitterness over the titular lyric. (but also, it remains one of my steadfast edeleth songs.. sorry lys)

Secrets (Cellar Door) – Radical Face. Another Edelgard&/Lysitheasong!! I really like their relationship ok. And given the song itself can beread straight or an allegory for whatever you particularly want, but the storyis just too on the nose for me not to mention it here.(also general advocation of listening to the whole of radical face’s musicbecause I’ve loved it for years now & the work is beautiful.) (also it’swonderful for fe awakening projection. Or ur own.)

Oh Children – nick cave and the bad seeds. there’s a million different interpretations of this song, but to try nail a few onto Lysithea.. there’s the harry potter use of making/finding a light in the depths of tragedy & i love that for Lys. there’s the whole ‘the kids aren’t alright’ theme and it’s various depths. and i like narrative lyrics to plaster my large fictional-character-caused-emotions onto, so make of this one what you will.

Marianne (and Lysithea too if you like)Bad Blood – Radical Face. Ok so. This is one of my favourite songs in bloodyexistence, and it’s so loaded with meaning & it has a metric tonne of it. Icould wax lyrical about how much I love Radical Face’s work. I don’t want myinclusion of this song (specifically this one) to in any way devalue it. Butmusic is ofc incredibly subjective, and so is my reading of a lot of threehouses – in case it’s not bloody obvious by now. There’s a Lot of stories onecould take from Marianne’s character (and none of them are More Valid^tm thanany other), and I do see a very personal story in her – as I do in this song. Hgghhghive just spent 10 minutes trying to find an impersonal way to talk about twovery personal and relative stories, which naturally doesn’t work. That, and theway I read her story is Real Fucking Dicey for tumblr.com. so if this song is about accepting rejection because of parts of yourself so deep they’re in your blood, i think.. y’all can see.. where my neurodivergent gay self is going with this..

Byleth:Something to Believe In – Tom Walker. Yeah. You’re bloody welcome. If this isn’ta completely on the nose Byleth song, I’ll eat Dorothea’s hat.

Don’t Let the Man – Fatboy Slim. ~ And the sign said green-hairedpartially possessed emotionally void mercenaries need not apply for aprofessorship at the country’s most prestigious academic centre… ~

Emigrate - Novo Amor. this just fucking Got Me in the ‘actively choosing crimson flower’ feelings. im an emotional wreak but its aight. the lyrics just matched up too well for me to let it go !!!

Alps - Novo Amor. this hit me in the ‘i miss the gremlin child sothis’ feelings one day and now it’s permanently stuck that way.

Make Them Gold – chvrches. (this is very much associated with awakening’sfuture past kids and also the Carmilla series in my mind But!!) I love a story about‘if we’re all falling, we’re going down together’ and the magical power of teamwork, and how it brings out the best in people.. & that’s what this song& Byleth kinda bloody stand for ya know??

woooh.. oh my god . i need another cup of tea.

#ask #birb says what //#fe meta #that tag's just for kicks and so i can find this again #oh my god i just don't shut up sometimes #but oh my god that was fun #easiest way to get me into a mouse trap or something is to tell me to make a character playlist i s2g #anyway. thank you for the ask!!!#apologies for the brick wall of text!!!#hope someone out there found at least one part of this they liked that'd be rad #but like. i do this shit for ME lmao #kalinary

9 notes · View notes

flamestoflight · 5 years

Text

(the bad and the good)

these past few weeks have been a LOT! Let’s run though the “bad” in 3 sentences or less. My housing for my affil in PA canceled on me last minute and I had to scramble to find a new one, and I can’t take the cats with me so I’m gonna be living without them for 20 weeks when I wasn’t expecting to and I am devastated - I sent them home with my parents last weekend and it SUCKED! Also I’ve been having all sorts of wild cardiac symptoms and I went to an urgent care place and the doctor was an asshole and dismissed me and I went to student health and I hate them all there, and I got taken off my meds so I have been a z.o.m.b.i.e. the past few days (except I’ve been taking it every other day shh dont tell my doc bc I LITERALLY cannot function without it and would never have made it through finals) and I’m supposed to be getting a new script but I don’t even know what it’s for lol. And packing and cleaning and moving has been hell, I hate it I hate it I hate it, I’ve been so stressed out and I’ve been living out of bins for the past week and on no food so I’ve been eating out a lot and it’s stressin me out! And this is a fourth sentence, but my computer keyboard has been crapping out on me and my headphones broke and it’s just one less thing i needed rn tbh.

BUT

I drove back home this morning, i’ll be spending 24 hours here at my parents’ house and then heading to my new place in PA. Yesterday the boy came over and we finished cleaning the apartment, got my stuff packed in my car and a truck, drove it all to his house, moved some of my furniture into his house, and I got to spend my last night in DE with him, drinking wine and eating spaghetti and watching our show and this morning we woke up earlier than we had to so we could hang out for like an hour before I had to leave. And I was driving home with all my stuff, on my way to see my cats, drinking starbucks coffee with my rose gold sunglasses on & my hair in a messy bun & wearing my light cuffed shorts so my beautiful beautiful tattoo was showing a bit & listening to something corporate and mayday parade, and i thought to myself, i think a few years ago this is exactly where i would have wanted to be, and here i am.

so i’ll take the bad in stride, it’s been a HELLA stressful past month, it felt like everything was going wrong for a little bit there and i spent almost every night in tears for a week because it was just so much between class and clinic and needing to hit passing criteria and moving and requirements and my shit breaking and my heart freaking out and my meds being taken away and just....everything. but this morning i felt good, i felt like i was someone that i would have been proud of two years ago. who i’ll be proud of two years from now. and so i’ll take it all in stride.

#mygrad2 #i think this is the last post in the mygrad2 tag #i think it goes to mygrad3 from here?#6 months cliniclas #and then even grad is done

7 notes · View notes

seventeen-imagines-reactions · 5 years

Text

Apology / Explanation (Dear fellow K-pop fans Pt 3)

Part 1 // Part 2

Disclaimer: I’m going to tag some groups, or kpop in general like yk using the tags I usually use. You’ll understand why I hope. This is not a post about any group mentioned. I’m sorry I understand why this annoys people, please skip this whole post if you only wanted group related stuff.

This is mostly for my followers, but the last part is about kpop and my unpopular opinion about things (hence the title), so if you’d like to read that, I’d love to hear your opinion about it (The beginning to that part will be bold and in italic so it’s easier to find). Then again, please excuse this post, it really rarely happens that I do this.

Sooo hello there babies.

I kept saying that I’d post some sort of apology or explanation as to why I didn’t upload regularly or why I was gone for quite some time without saying anything.

I know a lot of people don’t really care about this too much, but I still felt like I “had” to, because a lot of people submitted things and I never really did anything or like idk there was one request I only wrote quite literally 2 years later.

So first reason why I was gone: Me. I do tend to procrastinate quite a lot. When this blog was teeny tiny I didn’t write super long things, like I was shocked when I hit the 200 word mark yk. And then I kinda slowly began to get “better”, the stories got longer, I used a bit better language compared to the first tries etc. And as this blog grew, writer’s blog started to kick in more often and it got harder to think of new things. And I’m not saying like... idk I don’t force myself to write and as I often mentioned I do write the things that come to my mind all of a sudden. The first thing I think of while reading a request is usually the plot for the one shot. I rarely sit down and think of a plot, that’s why it feels like I keep repeating a lot of things and since there’s only some groups that I really really watch and listen to all the time, the person to repeat too. Don’t get me wrong, then again, I - for the most part - pick whoever fits in that concept, and knowing only some people, I keep choosing the same ones. Idk how to explain this really but I think this makes more sense: I do know a lot of Idols, but I often only know their names and general stuff about the group and not really how diverse their personalities might be outiside of shows or MV’s.

I also struggled a bit with balancing school and life. My school luckily was really easy for me in general, but some things threw me of a lot of times. Like I cannot focus whenever I want to, but I kept pushing myself up to a point where I got like upset and mad, because the things I had to know for whatever test wasn’t a lot, but the fact that I couldn’t study when I wanted to was so annoying, so I spent quite a lot of my daytime getting mad about myself, and during night, where I usually write stuff, I studied. (I know I could’ve switched times, like write during the day and study at night, but stupid me thought I could change my brain lol)

So I tried writing when I had nights of, but that was also kinda forcing myself so I had writer’s block again. Full circle everytime. And I also noticed how “bad” those force-written things where, other than the stuff I genuinely wanted to write. (There are some stories, kpop related and not, that I want to post some days, bt I didn’t want to part those out of the fear I wouldn’t finish them again.)

Now the thing I didn’t want to mention, but at the same time wanted to write it’s own “dear fellow kpop fans” post about. During the past year, I noticed how I just didn’t fit into that “Kpop fandom” sutff. At least I thought so. That’s why I kinda kept a “healthy” distance to fandoms, I still watched videos and stuff but I didn’t really go deep as I used to. Idk why, it might be because I get older, or because I just don’t understand the obsessive behaviour of some fans. I’m not going to mentioned any age groups bc I’ve “met” super chill 12 year olds and super hyper and in a way annoying 22 year olds, and vice versa.

I just realized as the groups grew and Kpop got known wordwide, fandoms got like really scary. Not just interanationally, but also k-fans. I’m not only talking about online fans, I really mean everything. Following the Idols, leaving them absolutely no space at airports, idk, being mean at fansigns, making fun of their mistakes, yelling at them personally and like bullying them etc. I just didn’t want to... support that?

And online fanwars jesus, we all like the same thing, we shouldn’t hate on others just bc we like whoever we like honestly. I try to not mention groups and fandoms because, first of all the group can’t do anything about extrem fans, second of all not all fans are the same, so excuse me saying group and fan a shit load of times. And to anyone who thinks I might be talking about specific people, no I’ve seen a lot xD

I don’t think I need to explain what happens exactly, but those things in general made me step back. I was confused. I didn’t know if I could openly speak about groups and write stories as I wanted because I didn’t know what people would think. And I started to dislike certain groups because of the fans, yk it felt super annyoing to me, but after a while I realized like, it’s no ones fault, I can like them and be in the fandom still. I don’t have to be like the people I see everywhere.

And there is one thing I will mention. Which you can see in previous posts, I talked about what was happening and giving a little update about myself bla bla, I did tag groups because I mentioned open requests. In that moment I only thought, “my followers, that see the tags, will know which requests are still open” I didn’t tag them for attention or anything. I really just used those tags for the open requests. And like, 10 mins later I get a message, stop tagging them it’s getting annoying, I swear my heart was racing and I felt the need to apologize bc I didn’t want to upset anyone, But as I read and read that message again I thought how am I getting annoying? In three years of me being here I only tagged groups in non-group related stuff when I talked about open requests and unpopular opinions.I did count then and I didn’t even do that 10 times. I hate things like that too you know. I really do because I was looking for stray kids things some time ago and literally only other groups, like 1-2 groups popped up. Stray kids and other tags were used for nothing. I do understand why it’s upsetting but my post was like 5 sentences long and again I tagged them for people to know what was still left unwritten.

BUUUUT I also know how loving this fandom can be, lke supporting small groups and making friends and helping one and another out. I really love this and made great friends through it. I also love how people pay respect to older artists etc, or being super respectful during december. This does overshadow the bad things, that’s why I’m back fully now.

I am now back to being a full time fan, of more groups now actually. So I will be back writing things, every now and then until I get myself back up. I will finish open requests, the drabble game and the 60 day special before only writing new things, until then I’ll mix them up.

I love you all, I’m glad to be here again, I am really sorry for being gone for so long, and I apologize again for using the tags now.

(I will delete the tags after a short while, because as Isaid I don’t like this myself)

Yours Sincerely,

- a confused hobby writer, that also is super anxious rn lol, a die hard kpop fan, that coped with a lot of things while writing stuff on this plattform

1 note · View note

v-le · 7 years

Text

Thank You, Hoya.

As I type this, I am admittedly an ugly mess. I woke up from a nap this evening & I saw an article that came out a few minutes beforehand about Hoya’s contract renewal, saying that he did not go through with it. Groggily, I clicked on it, not thinking much.

I sat wide awake as I read the sentence once, twice, over and over and my mind couldn’t even properly process it. Leaving?? Actually leaving???

Let me back up, as in, a few months before all this unfolded. Infinite was supposed to come back in May, as announced in their third fan-meeting and everything. Sunggyu was having health issues and the comeback naturally got pushed back. Their 7th Anniversary eventually came around, but I kinda felt like it was a quiet celebration. There were a few SNS posts, but no annual live broadcast, apparently due to issues with gathering all the members in one place. (When they said this, I thought to myself, ‘This is their SEVENTH anniversary, but they can’t even get together just for that???’ *sad but also equally confused face*). Their contracts came to an end, but there was no official word of their next steps for quite a while. In the middle, we got a little announcement that discussions were still going on and that they were all headed in a positive direction. Weeks trickled past. It was rumored that all re-signed except for one member, supposedly L, but that was just a false report. Three excruciating months later, it is revealed that everyone but Hoya renewed their contract with Woollim Ent. And then the next day, they announced his departure from the company, and the group completely.

I honestly did not see it coming. Throughout these three anxiety-filled months, I kept preparing myself for the worst, which was presumably an official disbandment. But never in the slightest could I imagine a falling apart. A break up?? The loss of a piece that makes them whole? Not hiatus, not disbandment, not separate ways, but the genuine departure of a member. An entire member. I just……….. of all groups to ever pull this off (and we all know that plenty of 2nd gen. groups have been through this, GG, Teen Top, Beast, 2NE1, Apink, Girls’ Day, etc.) INFINITE was one to follow this….. “trend”. This wretched trail of pain that way too many groups have crossed several times.

Before I go into how I feel overall, I just want to make it clear that of course, I will still support Infinite as 6 members, and Hoya in his personal endeavors unconditionally, no matter what. I’ve literally been following them for over 6 frking years now, how could I just abandon any of them like that? No, lol, I’m in way too deep, y’all. So yes, I will never ever ever everrrrrrrrrr bash or disrespect their decisions in any way. I will, of course, wholeheartedly accept this with open arms because that is what true fans do. And if anything, considering that this is what we’ve come to after THREE entire months, doesn’t that just further prove to us how hard this probably was for the members, and staff, and just everyone else collectively? Clearly, a lot of thought went into this. This wasn’t impulsive. This is for the better, and I will fully respect that.

HOWEVER, I am, after all, a fking diehard Inspirit and these boys have literally defined my years as I’ve matured into an adult. They’ve been with me through thick and thin, and as I like to say, my “part-time lifeline”. Even though I almost basically despise current kpop (I will say this several times, but 2nd gen. kpop is dead & gone and that’s something I will mourn for a while), Infinite has always been there. They are my Day 1′s, and as time went on, even when I got extremely busy w/ junior & senior year of high school, I still tried my best to keep up with them, support them, and just honestly, thank them. For being there. Because even as all these years passed before my eyes, they were still here, ALL 7 of them, still occasionally coming back with music for fans, still being Infinite. Just being Infinite. And I was (and still am) so eternally thankful for that. I watched groups lose members, go on hiatuses, or completely fall apart left and right, but Infinite promised us time and time again that they would be there no matter what. I can’t say this enough, but seriously, from the bottom of my heart, when I had time to just reflect on the years, I was just so so so so overwhelmingly thankful for them.

And so 1 member leaving was just……. it broke me to pieces. I was utterly, completely devastated. Because it was simply a reality I never saw coming. One I never wanted to believe in. I wanted to keep believing that they would continue on as seven for as long their hearts could desire, just as they’ve been doing for all these years. That they’d surpass Shinhwa, and be the longest-lasting boy group to exist, unchanged since debut. That they are family, brothers for life, that they would never separate in such a way. Not to say that they aren’t family anymore. But that their bond of trust would transcend any notions of breaking apart.

But really. It’s okay. Nothing lasts forever, and I know that very well. All good things must come to an end. And that is what I’ve had the most trouble dealing with ever since I read that sentence. This is the end of an era for the boys. This marks a new journey where nothing will be the same as it was before, for better or for worse, who knows yet. But we all have to say goodbye to the Infinite that existed before today. And that’s what’s really hard for me. That’s what has got me looking like an ugly sobbing mess for a good 8 hours today LOL. Because it’s really hard for me to say farewell so suddenly. But the storm will pass, with time.

And with that, I want to once again, thank Infinite, thank Hoya, thank the world for letting these boys shine brightly for the past 7 years, and to hopefully continue to shine even brighter for years to come. Thank you so much Hoya, for being such a pillar (—holy fck hold up, I never thought I’d be typing these words and now im a mess again, great) within Infinite.

Thank you for being the iconic dancing machine within Infinite.

Thank you for not only rapping impressively, but singing stunningly as well.

Thank you for venturing into the acting scene & pulling off amazing characters like in Reply 1997, Mask, My Lovely Girl, Radiant Office, and more.

Thank you for being a complete bora-dori.

Thank you for constantly expressing your passion for hip hop (remember when he talked about when he was younger, he even wished he was black??? AHAHAH good times :’)), whether it was through Infinite H, self-composed raps/songs, or your personal Youtube channel.

Thank you for gifting us with your iconic bitch face. (This might honeslty be the biggest thing I miss LOL jk jk ily hoya adjakfjlkf i cant rn)

Thank you for being a dork/dick half the time and always roasting the members without shame.

Thank you for yes, ddabong to u too times 5805925 LOL

Thank you for developing from that awk, Busan boy into a resilient Seoul man HAHAHHA proud of u tho

Thank you for your brows because we all know they were ur focal point ;)

Thank you for also unleashing ur inner hoaegi sometimes

Thank you for sincerely being one of the most passionate members ever. I think I can safely say that no one put more energy and fervor into a performance than you did.

and just…

Thank you for being a part of Infinite for these past 7 years. At this very moment, I cannot imagine an Infinite without you. I will miss everything you have given us, and more than anything, thank you for working so hard.

호원아 고생했어 사랑해 ❤

#hoya #infinite #호야 #인피니트 #im still in shock #i love you so much #i love you all #thank you for everything #until the day we meet again <3

262 notes · View notes

fitzykreiner · 7 years

Note

To me, what really pisses me off is how Shamier was treated this season. Like you said he may have had other projects but you can work around it and not just have him appearing just to be in episodes but you can actually give him a storyline. And the thing is, they need him so fucking much, he saves the day almost every single time. Then he just disappears because he doesn't get any recognition for all that he does for everyone. There were so many opportunities missed. It's Problematic as fuck

yep!!!!!!!! that’s what i’m saying -- fine, the actor has other projects going on, that doesn’t mean you have to then half-assedly write the character. :/

im putting a cut bc im just gonna answer all these asks that y’all sent me like a week ago,

What I really hate about this whole situation is how hardly anyone is calling them out on their shit. Like shit how do people expect us to feel watching this show as POC's when the POC's on this show are treated like shit. Idc if they add another cast member and they're POC, it won't take away from the fact that one of them is a lead and constantly sidelined, one is now a villain and was treated like shit and one is only there for comedic timing and to give googley eyes at doc.

“one of them is a lead + constantly sidelined, one is now a villian + was treated like shit, & one is only there for comedic timing + to give googly eyes at doc” you........just hit it right on the fucking head there. im so pissed. dolls was treated like an actual nuanced main character, then he wasn’t. rosita was given an AMAZING story by having her be a revenant yet be kind and just tryna live her life, then they decided to somehow pull off the double trope of “poc sacrifices themself for white friends” + “poc is the villain”, like what kind of racist two birds w one stone kinda bullshit.......and then ya, jeremy. he’s never really been anything but comedic relief apart from the few hints that he’s got an interesting past + him saying that he never left purgatory bc he doesn’t fit in there but no one asked him to fit in anyway .

What hurts even more is how all three POC characters have been used to prop up the white male character. Dolls has just been sidelined the whole season and am I supposed to believe that wynonna didn't give two shits about him in the finale when this is the same woman who fought so hard to save him in 2x01. Rosita was treated like shit from doc. And then Jeremy treats him like he can fucking walk on water. I didn't mind him but this and his fans have made me hate doc with a passion now.

it really feels like there’s a divide in the writers’ room between who likes wyndolls(+dolls) and who likes wyndoc(+doc) bc its just.......one or the other whenever either make an appearance. like i feel like when an episode is written by a person who prefers wyndoc, dolls barely makes an appearance or is mentioned maybe once, and vice versa lmao. i really wish they would make up their minds instead of having one wyndolls episode, then a wyndoc episode, then a wyndolls episode, ad infinitum. plus ya this season had way too much doc praise from everyone imo.................whoops

I know you don't hate doc but what makes me even more mad about him, is that he constantly makes mistakes and treated people like shit. Like how tf does he get away with this constantly??? Yet whenever Dolls makes a mistake it's the end of the world and he needs a talking to. I really don't know if I can carry on watching this I want them to pick a ship and just stick with it (hopefully wyndolls) because the whole triangle is convoluted as fuck and it's making me dislike the show.

i think doc has truly grown from who he was back before the well happened, but he still is an asshole and can be a shitty person (esp re: rosita lmao). i think he’s a flawed man and that’s... acceptable, but what i don’t find acceptable is that, like u said, he’s never called out on it. in order to deserve all the praise he got from every character this season, he really should have apologized to ppl abt things he’s said and done.

lmao.......u know why dolls’s mistakes are treated more seriously and actually brought to his attention vs. doc’s mistakes.......You Know Why

I just wanna say thanks, it feels good to be able to rant like this, so many people treat this show likes it's perfect when it's extremely problematic at times. I'm fucking praying, like down on my knees praying that they don't carry on this romantic wynd*c bullshit in S3 and this love triangle because wyndolls is far superior and shit I think everyone knows it. I think a lot of the fandom is a lot more receptive to their relationship because it's so beautiful compared to that mess.

no probs im always here for u to rant to!!!!!

Coming from a hardcore wyndolls shipper this shit has really hit me hard. Trust me I know they're a fictional character and it's just a show but I've been through so many times of my fav characters (who happen to be POC) either getting sidelined or killed off and I'm not sure if I can deal with it anymore. And the person who I'm really upset for is shamier. Because shit man he deserves so much better. This has actually made me lose so much trust in the writers and I have no hope left for S3.

listen u don’t have to come here and justify why this has affected u so much to me, i understand completely. a lot of people (including me) cling really tightly to some fictional worlds & characters and when the creators fuck up it hurts. also ya shamier no doubt deserves better, tho im happy he’s out doing other things too, not just being wasted by wearp

I was just reading all your asks on the finale and I remembered wynonna telling doc that she never would've kissed dolls if she knew doc was back and I'm just like... what! That whole sentence just contradicts one of the main themes and relationships of S1. Listen I loved the moments that we got of wyndolls in S2 but this forced wynd*c relationship has me feeling so disappointed in the show. when S3 is back on I'm just gonna wait to see how dolls/wyndolls is treated before watching. I cba

rip i just had to look up what “cba” meant bc i thought maybe u ran out of characters and misspelled a word and i just never got the second message alkdfjalkdsalk

no really that so came out of left field bc like???? wynonna + dolls were being built up the entire first season, it was all leading to dolls admitting his feelings and them kissing. (remember when wyn dared dolls to admit that he cares for her?? and he couldn’t? so she called him a pussy and walked away???? then he finally did admit that he needs her in the finale? im crying) wynonna + doc was just them learning to trust each other and fucking in the forest that one time, there was nothing OVERTLY romantic abt their relationship compared to wyndolls.

I just don't get how they expect me to believe that forced ass relationship. She literally looks at dolls like he's her whole world, and when he came back she looked so relieved and happy again. I hate love triangles in shows and this season especially has made me intensely dislike doc, especially after 2x03 with that whole "I ain't doing it for him" comment. And his treatment of Rosita and his actions during 2x06. I cannot deal with this shit and I really don't trust them anymore, not at all

oh ho hohoho boyyyyyy i forgot abt the “i aint doin it for him” which, first thing, is such BULLSHIT, doc cares abt dolls, it’s been established. anyway, im this whole ask,,,,,.

#wearp #xavier dolls #wyndolls #doc holliday #im still bitter if it wasn't clear #also sorry these responses are more than a week late #anon #asks

20 notes · View notes

skeletxnqueen · 7 years

Note

flower crown fairy lights daisies 1975 matte black nail polish pantone moodboard stars plants converse lace handwriting cactus sunrise oil paints overalls combat boots winged eyeliner pastel tattoos piercings bands messy bun cry baby grunge space white bed sheets old books beaches eyes 11:11 painting lightning thunder storms love clouds coffee marble

T H E N E V E R E N D I N G A S K (I wasn’t ignoring you, I’m gonna be honest, I forgot this was sitting in my drafts waiting to be completed aaaaa)

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself? - A few minutes ago. I left my iPod in my co-worker’s car so I kinda have nothing better to do. All my favorite apps are on there.

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know? - Are alternate universes real and is there one where I am content and happy? (sorry to get depressing there bud but life just ain’t what I want it to be rn)

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life? - I haven’t experienced enough things to really say I’ve accomplished anything. I guess getting a job and keeping it for as long as I have? Six months and counting.

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise? - Seeing a gif of a kitten walking over to a camera man and then proceeding to nap on him and walk all over his shoulders and sit on his head while he had to hold almost completely still.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? - This question as me depressed and low key anxious I don’t think I can answer it without crying sorry

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things? - Not really. I try to avoid really confronting my own mortality. Thinking about dying both scares and tempts me and it’s really weird and terrifying and no bueno. Gosh my answers seem so depressing I’m sorry bab aaAAAA

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail. - I’m too lazy to describe anyone again but um my brother c’: Again. Heckie

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood? - I suppose. I mean it definitely could have been better, but it’s not really on “tragic backstory” level so I guess yeah. I dunno how to answer this, in all honesty.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person? - Earlier tonight

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them. - My friend Antonio. He’s weird but he loves space and it’s nice to hear how excited he gets talking about the stars and planets because he’s super passionate about it. I just like when my friends are happy ya know? So I know stargazing with my space buddy would be fun.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them? - Honestly I have before. I don’t mean for it to, but sometimes the conversations just take that direction. I’m a big oversharer.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you? - fam I’m always up at 3am wym I stay talkin to ppl at 3am (for the record it’s usually my mom and/or brother)

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom? - Again, I can’t answer this without crying I’m sorry.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes? - I have them and I love them why is this up for discussion why is this a question is there brown eye discourse???

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally. - “I don’t care what you think, as long as it’s about me.” …….. I really like attention. More seriously though, I like knowing that I’m real to other people. I know it sounds weird but sometimes I just like being reminded that I actually exist in other people’s lives and that I’m a real person???? Idk how to describe it but yeah. That line makes me think about that aspect of myself a lot.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far? - “Still Figuring It Out”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars? - cry because I can finally get my family out of our rough situation, spoil my mom and brother rotten, buy lots of pretty makeup, travel the world, and still have enough left over to live comfortably for the rest of my life without ever having to work again unless I want to to have something to do.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way? - I am. Sometimes too much for my own good. Sometimes I like it just cause it can help settle conflicts quicker and sometimes I don’t because not only do I let toxic people back into my life but it causes me to miss them and desperately want them back because I convince myself “it’s in the past, it wasn’t that bad, and they’ve probably changed so I should let it go”.

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self. - Dear Mikii,

First of all what a weird nick-name you dork. I’m Gabby. I’m still just as much of a dork so don’t feel bad. You’re going through a weird phase in your life right now. You’re confused and probably questioning who you are. That’s not really going to stop, but it gets better. It gets easier to deal with. Eventually you’ll work for your favorite pizza place and, while it’s stressful, you’ll make cool friends and you’ll make money, and nobody will be able to tell you what you can and can’t buy. It’ll be awesome. You got this

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel? - I guess I lean closer to the punk side. It’s kind of funny because I have the soft cute personality that you’d think would fit on a pastel type person and honestly that’s my aesthetic but style wise, I usually go for darker colors and stuff. My brother is the polar opposite. Punk personality and pastel style.

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain. - Yes. Body art is yes. I love it and I want it. If you have tattoos and/or piercings I am 75% more likely to get some kind of crush on you.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not? - yes, because I like it and it’s pretty.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. - I dunno if this counts much, I had to think long and hard on this one, but Crossfire by Stephen makes me think a lot about current events and police brutality and the bombings in other countries and just a bunch of sad stuff that’s going on now which I know is the point but it makes me really think about the privilege I do have compared to those who face discrimination and oppression far more harshly than I ever will and I just heckin

heck

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them. - “Prince didn’t die for this.”

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel. - I’ve only ever been to one and it was a local band so

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say? - Idk man probably my dad. Not gonna go in depth but I’ll say this. I’d want a large sum of money included and a 5 page long apology letter.

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised? - nope nothing is organized and I dont have a workspace

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine? - stay up til I physically cannot hold my eyes open anymore then fall asleep

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know? - that I’m not Christian and that I have a um…. device. Of some sort.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why? - Keep it red / make it redder, probably some kind of undercut or side shave

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do? - 1. Alin2. Mikey3. Kaylee4. Dom5. Rose

I’d take these nerds with me as I travel the globe and try new experiences, shop cool unique things, and just live my dream life with. I’d go to the ends of the earth with these precious babies.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. - (1) Wealth. I want to pay off my mother’s college debt, buy her a nice place to stay as well as somewhere for myself, buy my brother anything his little heart desires, donate to fundraisers and charities, live my dream life, etc. (2) Clear skin. I’m pretty confident in my body shape and all, but I can’t stand my skin. Especially everywhere that isn’t my face. My shoulders have it the worst. (3) Someone willing to date me who doesn’t live thousands of miles away would be lovely. I mean I can do long distance but I just crave physical affection ya know? I dunno man I’m just lonely.

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up. - Well, last year I was a dead cowgirl. I used my day of the dead makeup and wore a flannel, jeans, boots, and a cowboy hat that I got from party city. Relatively simple, but it was still fun to see little kids’ reactions and everything at work.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high? - this implies I’ve gotten drunk or high before (I’ve been kind of tipsy before but otherwise I’m fucking lame and I don’t do that stuff)

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars? - kill somebody (there are a few exceptions but in general ya know?)

storms: you can only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why? - both of these would drive me literally insane let’s not and say we did

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realize you’re in love. - I think I have. I don't know. To me it's realizing the things I'd be willing to do for that person. Just wanting to make them happy. Wanting to spoil them, see them smile, hear their stupid jokes even if they aren't funny, see all the ugly or silly faces they make, and just loving everything about them. Overcoming my biggest insecurities and discomforts for them. Realizing that there are certain things I can only see myself doing with them. When I read those couple posts I think of them, even though it's been over a year since we've been together. Hearing a certain song or artist is tainted by thoughts of them, when nothing would come to mind before I got to know them. Filling spots in my mind and heart that for years had been left vacant. Realizing that despite how much they've hurt me, I'd gladly take them back if they asked. Feeling like it was the right love at the wrong time, even though it probably wasn't the right love at all. Falling in love to me is having them lurking around every corner of my mind, the darkest shadows, the deepest trenches, even when I'm not thinking of them, they're always there. Even when I'm not thinking about them, I somehow am. I don't know if this is love or obsession, admittedly. Maybe I just need help lol

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair? - I’d rock both and look sexy while doing it

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? - I don’t go to starbucks enough to really say

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now? - my family and getting us out of the tough situation we’re in right now

#dxrk-sxxls #long post #answers #about me #dxrk sxxls

2 notes · View notes

saferincages · 7 years

Text

my illness and pain levels and fatigue have been so extreme and out of control for the past three-ish weeks (and really longer than that, I feel as though it’s been simmering badly under the surface for quite a while now and finally managed to break me down completely), and I’m sorry for not being here to answer messages or check my dash or anything like that recently. I basically haven’t touched my computer at all since I set up a couple of weeks’ worth of queue, looking at the screen has been too overwhelming for my headaches and sitting here is excruciating for my spine and I’ve even been having trouble typing without joint pain (not to mention my concentration/focus not being good lately). I essentially set the queue and climbed into bed, just trying to get some semblance of strength back.

I’d like to take a moment to specifically thank @sealwife, @sansasnark, @elizabethtudors, @fancykraken, @xxsparksxx, and @christinedaae for being the beautiful human beings and extraordinary friends they are - each of you ladies has reached out to me specifically and have inferred that I might not be doing well lately, and I apologize with all my heart for not being able to respond to you properly or give that attention back to you in the way you all deserve. Also to @desireearmfeldt, @someoneoffthestreet, @ohfantine, and anyone else who has left me thoughtful messages/replies/comfort. I feel as though I’ve let you down somewhat spectacularly of late, which would never be my intention - I know I haven’t been very good at friendship lately, and you’re all blessings in my life, and have been so for many years now - you give me reasons to keep being here and keep surviving, and reminders of strength and the hope of keeping one’s heart open. I love you and think of you always, even when I haven’t managed to say it often enough.

I’ve had a lot that I’ve wanted to write about for many months, and have not had the energy or inclination to do it, but I’m finally at the point where I think I can at least provide an overview.

First of all, before I get into my stuff, I want to say that Angel’s doing much better! It turns out - we think - that it wasn’t her pancreatitis flaring up, but rather that she was having an awful allergic reaction. There’s a dental treat that we’ve been giving her for a long time that helps her teeth, but recently I couldn’t buy them from the same place or find them at a reasonable price anywhere online, so we had started her on a different little biscuit, and something in that upset her system. I feel horrible, I would never have knowingly given her something that made her so sick. :( Fortunately, after we figured out what the culprit must be, she was only ill and unable to keep anything down for a couple of days, and after we got her little tummy more back to normal on a simple chicken and rice diet, she went back to her regular food. She’s been her happy, peppy, sweet little self since, and she’s been right at my side trying to take good care of me while I’ve been so sick myself.

A few of you know this, but back in July, I had my first initial disability hearing. I’ve been fighting for this for years, after being denied through paperwork alone twice. Finally being able to go before a judge was terrifying, but I had hoped maybe my long battles would lead somewhere. If you don’t know anything about the process, it is byzantine and cruel and borderline absurd at times, and after having seen it from the inside...I’m amazed that anyone ever gets help at all. Anyway, I walked into court that summer day, and they give you a CD of your records, everything that you’ve given them permission to gather - which, for me, was supposed to be every file and medical record going back to our car accident in 2005, the hospital visits, the months of physical therapy, and then the dozens of doctors and tests and procedures I’ve been through since the onset of my chronic illnesses. But, surprise! I open up the file, and all of my records have been purged, without my authority and entirely unbeknownst to me. No one ever warned me this would, or even could, happen, or we would have procured my records ourselves over the years. A warning - if you EVER think you’re going to need medical records, demand your own copies, because they can destroy them without ever alerting you that they plan to do so. My entire life, the existence that I’ve been reduced to, that I irrevocably lost my twenties to, that I lost college and my future and dreams to, it was basically all documented in medical records that now do not exist, which, in all honesty, felt like a death in itself. I stared at those blank pages, at those faxes where “record/patient cannot be found” or “record has been destroyed,” and barely managed to stop myself from bursting into tears. There’s no evidence of how being ill has taken my life. I sat in front of the judge as he flipped through empty pages, perplexed, and decided to postpone my case. I didn’t have legal representation, and he wanted to send me for more court ordered medical evaluations since there was nothing for him to really look at. My mom barely got me out of that room and into the bathroom before I had a full blown panic attack, clutching the counter in front of the sink and sobbing and barely able to breathe.

And then I followed instructions, and went to my set appointments. I can’t begin to describe how banal the ‘tests’ are that a doctor gives you in these court ordered exams - can you walk once from one end of a small room to the other? can you raise your arms over your head or lift your legs while you’re in a chair for a few seconds? can you repeat back a sentence or a few words when they’re said to you? Congratulations, those standards likely mean they’re going to think you’re not disabled. The fact that you likely wouldn’t be able to repeat these menial tasks over and over again, the fact that you’re in constant pain or have a compromised immune system or can’t stand up for long without the risk of heart palpitations/dizziness/possible fainting or can’t possibly work a job or go to school because you’re too sick and you’re entirely unreliable - none of this is taken into account. The physician has to write down that you walked across that room and spoke complete sentences of your own volition, and immediately you’re seen as able-bodied. I know. I was also sent to a neuropsychologist (likely because the judge knew I was teetering on the edge of that panic attack).

Going through this means being asked invasive, awful questions that aren’t even necessarily pertinent to one’s disability (ie: why don’t you date/have sex? ...as if that’s any measure of ability or is even a priority of any kind when you literally are unable to leave the house. what do you do for fun? and so forth), being looked at with suspicion and accused, both subtly and directly, of malingering or attention-seeking, being prodded and judged and dehumanized and demoralized, all because you want the most minimal of help to simply survive. It is a horror, a lot of it is emotional/psychological insult on top of the pre-existing injury of being chronically ill, and it has taken a severe toll on me.

One of the doctors I met through these court appointments was really good, though, she was well-versed on CFS and POTS and even my GI issues, and she genuinely wanted to help me. I don’t have insurance beyond basic Medicaid, but she told me her office takes it. I was going to establish her as my GP to help with my case. Well, guess what? I called her, and suddenly was informed that her office had decided to no longer accept Medicaid patients. So, there goes that. I’ve lost track of the number of physicians that I’ve called in desperation who refuse to see me because they don’t take Medicaid. I don’t have a doctor’s help. (I could, and likely very much need to, go to an indigent clinic for basic care, where I could see an RN, but that isn’t an avenue that will help with a court case, because you’re supposed to have an established physician. I had to stop seeing my GP back when my dad dropped my insurance in late 2009, after I’d made several trips up to the hospital in Denver to have specialized blood tests and exams, so...that’s a long gap of time without a regular doctor’s care, and, again, now all of those records are gone).

Furthermore, even though you’re not required to have an attorney in these cases, it does notably help to have representation. I was given a list of lawyers to call and consult with after that preliminary hearing. Not a single lawyer would help me, because of my records having been destroyed. The first lawyer I called, in fact, told me it would not be “financially advantageous” for her to take my case. Most of them wouldn’t even call me back, but the few that did bother to respond to my messages would either tell me something along the same lines or apparently weren’t taking new clients. One told me to “start over,” which wouldn’t merely be a herculean task, it would be impossible and pointless. The entire reason I filed the case the way I did was because 1) I’VE BEEN INJURED AND SICK SINCE 2005, and starting over would be like saying I only just got ill in 2016, thus destroying my entire history and 2) because I physically could not work at an age where I was still considered under my parents’ care (it’s similar to the law that allows you to stay on a parents’ health plan?), the case was filed under their names and SSNs. I have never paid into Social Security because I haven’t worked, but they, of course, have, so the ‘loss’ of income that I then could have received (which, at most, would have been just under $700 a month, which may not sound like much, but anything would be a fortune to me considering I have absolutely NOTHING). If I started over, my case would be dead in the water immediately, because my parents’ loss would no longer be taken into account. I was left floundering and constantly crying after phone calls, after every doctor and lawyer refused to see me or help me, realizing these people who are meant to be in place to protect and assist people would do nothing for me.

My second hearing, the one that was meant to be the official proceeding, was in November. And even without a doctor or a lawyer, I went to court. I wrote an eloquent letter to the judge, which he even thanked me for, explaining my illness and what it has done to my life. We went in expecting to proceed. Another bizarre little part of this process is the ‘expert testimony’ - you see, the court calls on ‘witnesses’ to testify in your case. These witnesses generally have some basic knowledge of one of the aspects of whatever you deal with (in my case, they had called on a physical therapist and a gastroenterologist). Now, keep in mind, these are not people who have ever met you. They have never treated you. They have never seen your specific symptoms or limitations. The people they called on weren’t even in my state. I don’t understand how in the hell they expect this to help - no two patients or human beings are the same. Every illness, every symptom, affects people differently. So having general knowledge of a thing isn’t going to tell you about one specific, unique individual. I will never understand this, it will never make sense to me. But, of course, in my case, again, my records are gone! I don’t know what they were even supposed to be reviewing, other than the court mandated appointments I’ve been to over the past two years. Only, guess what? The GI specialist whose testimony was to be called first? He never even received the file that he was supposed to review and call in for my case. They telephoned his office and nobody had any information or any idea about it. So, yet again, the judge (by this point very frustrated) postponed me.

I contacted a couple more lawyers, to the same non-result. The last one I e-mailed was two weeks ago, because that’s when I got the next letter. My hearing was supposed to be today. The thing is, everything had changed. I suddenly had a new judge. The ‘witnesses’ were different. (No longer was a gastroenterologist on the case, for example, now it was an entirely different physical therapy office, but no accredited physician of any kind or any speciality, despite my many diagnosed illnesses). I sent back the paperwork, but I didn’t go in to court today. The case was dismissed out of hand.

I had what I can only classify as an emotional breakdown. I’ve been coping with suicidal ideation for years, I live with it all the time, like a quiet drip or white noise in the back of my brain, something I’m used to, and occasionally hear, and consider, and then filter out. Anyone who lives with constant suicidal ideation will probably tell you they get used to it - it’s like an escape hatch. You’re not going to use it, but you also know it’s there. Well, between Angel being sick and me feeling like it was my fault, my mother being quite ill herself (this is a whole other topic and she doesn’t want me to discuss it, so I’m trying to respect that wish), and the crush of agony and lack of sleep and constant illness that I’ve been dealing with from my own body, I just lost it. I haven’t been what I would consider genuinely suicidal or so depressed that I couldn’t function since 2009, but this threw me back into an extremely dark, dangerous, and self-harmful place. I felt destroyed, I felt like I didn’t want and didn’t deserve to be here anymore, that after all the time I’ve spent trying to advocate for myself, trying to fight, it was all boiling down to nothing. For a couple of days, I was honestly worried that I needed to get help, but I didn’t want to have to go to a hospital, I didn’t want to put my mom through that, so I forced myself to push past it alone. I don’t think I’m in danger of doing further harm to myself right now. I’m just so tired. Which in itself is a small, pointless statement. I feel broken down. It isn’t only the severe pain, the exhaustion, the sickness, the ever-evolving grief cycles that I live with as goals and dreams and ideals pass away, fade further and further into the past. This time, I feel that something has been taken from me. I feel like I’ve suffered repeated deaths of myself, of the girl I used to be, could have been, wanted to be, but this is a new type of death. I feel as though whatever I was trying to fight for - dignity? the right to keep surviving? the right to ask for help? the right to hold on to hope? the right to expect, if not kindness or understanding, the basic acknowledgement of my humanity? - has been stripped from me. Some essential part of my light, even if it’s only a sliver of it, has been snuffed out. That quote from Gone Girl, strange as that may sound, has been on repeat in my mind so often, but rather than having a person to put it on, it’s more existential - this process has taken my pride and my dignity and my hope, has taken and taken from me until I feel as though I no longer existed. I can blame the arduous system, but mostly that guilt and blame falls on myself, even if that’s illogical or I don’t deserve it. I’ve said this many times before, but I feel like a ghost, the spectral remnant of the girl who had meaning and worth and deserved to be here.

I have always had so much love in my heart, and have striven so hard to be compassionate, to give even the smallest fragments of good that I can to others, and I have failed at that a lot lately in trying to deal with and compartmentalize the desperation of all of this. I think finally falling apart, physically and emotionally/mentally, was the only response I could have. And it hurts me, too, seeing the cloud we’re all under - there’s so much hatred, exclusion, meanness, and violence happening around us. The current events have been so ugly. The hugeness of that has been tearing at my spirit as much as my own personal struggles have been. It finally all got to be too much.

I just...it’s hard to comprehend our society, how it actively works against those in need, how it excludes the most vulnerable among us, how it shames people for needing assistance to simply keep living, how providing food or medical care is seen as a luxury rather than a basic right. I wish I had the power to comprehensively change it, to lift up everyone else who has been in my position, to expose its faults and horrors, hold them up to the light, and transform them for the better, but I can’t, because I couldn’t even affect that change for myself. It kills me that anyone else ever has to feel this helpless and powerless and worthless. It makes my heart ache that the sick and injured and impoverished and disabled are seen as subhuman. We have a right to live, to nurture and be nurtured, to love and be loved. We have a right to be seen and heard.

I wanted to write this today since today is finally the end of this fight for me, since I never got to that proper hearing to determine that fate, since it was tossed aside. I tried for so long to get someone to hear me or legitimize me or realize I needed help, and I lost. I figured documenting it now is all I had left to do. I’m feeling adrift and voiceless because I don’t know where to go from here. I’ve been carrying on with this fight and now I have to put it down, with nothing to show for it but the battle scars.

#bubble wrap around my heart #suicidal ideation tw #chronic illness #i think i am a better ghost than i am a human being #depression cw #disability #hopefully this is coherent and those tags are enough #i'm still really scattered

12 notes · View notes