#i know this sounds like im being a hater but imagine me saying this as genuinely and earnestly as possible | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

roslynvb · 5 months

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(REQUEST FROM MY POOKIE WOOKIE: “if you haven’t, you should do something where you tell her eyes are pretty like. that one scene with akemi.”)

#: gn reader!

It was cold, and you were alone. Waiting for Mizu. She was taking awhile, but you figured it was nothing and she was just busy.

It had been a couple hours, and you had already made dinner. It was slowly starting to get cold cold and you started to worry. You heard a slide of the door, and a soft knock. Mizu had come home after what seemed like forever.

“I apologize for my lateness.” Mizu said, sounding like she was hurt. You walked over to her and held her arm.

“I’m just glad you’re home. Did something happen?” You ask, worriedly. Mizu didn’t want to bother you, especially since you had already worried so much for her.

“It’s nothing, just a small cut that needs a little stitching.” She said, holding her side in pain. Blood stained her clothes, you knew it wasn’t hers. But that stain right where she was holding definitely was.

“Let me take care of that for you, please. It’s the least I could do for you.” You say, wanting to help as much as you can. Mizu looks at you, smiles a bit, before hissing in pain.

“Thank you.” Mizu says, obviously tired and worn out. You hold her up and take her to the other room. She takes off the layers of clothing, revealing a nasty cut that definitely needed tender care.

You sit next to her, the cut had been around her stomach and she noticed you looked nervous and your eyebrows were furrowed. She watched you as you were focused on taking care of her wound. She feels bad about letting you do this, but she knows there’s no changing your mind.

You felt her eyes on you, one of the things you loved most about her. One of the traits that stands out the most. You still remember the first time you saw them. You come to realize you’ve never told her just how you feel about the way they glistened, and just how much you love them.

After you were done, you sat up and held her hands with yours. “I was worried Mizu. But I’m glad you trust me enough to clear your wounds.” She squeezes your hand, trying to ignore the pain she was in.

“I couldn’t imagine someone else doing it for me..” Mizu says, a tired sigh escaping her. You smile at her comment.

You look up at her. Her hair was down, her glasses were on a small table. You felt compelled to look at her eyes, and started for quiet some time.

“Your eyes are beautiful, Mizu.”

She looks at you, eyes widened a little. They slowly turned into a soft gaze, and she smiled at you.

Although Mizu might not be so good with words when it comes to you, her actions say enough. She hugs you tightly, and you two rest for the night. Falling asleep into her arms, as she holds your head in the most loving way a woman can.

(side note, I hate mizus mom and mikio. This is a mikio hatepage. fuck mikio, I hope he fucking rote in the afterlife.

Im probably just being a hater, cuz nmlnm forever!!! anyways writing still makes me nervous but I love my pookie sm!!

@cyberchxn for you pookie…

#blue eye samurai #mizu #netflix #oneshot #mizu x reader #blue eye samurai x reader

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mari-lair · 6 months

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İ really loved this one like the last one like, oh my god! İt really made me think about Teru's words and the way he would be if he was really reckless with his love

İ loved how Teru basically confessed, how Akane knew exactly how Teru's love was(to an extent) and the overall pacing..

My favourite was def the mirrorings of demon Teru and real Teru, Akane really knows Teru well and knows about how he acts and what he may do. İts really interesting to think about how much Akane knows about him and his selfish tendencies time to time..

To be honest his idea of Teru as a husband changing in the same day is so nice to me as well, Teru's love can be so gentle and sweet if you're in conditions that allow it and i love how Akane realizes that and almost immediately changes his perspective, maybe if Teru was cursed again, he won't think of him as an evil cruel demon

And the 'they have been there for two years' i can go on for HOURS. How Akane doesn't trust it in the slightest once Teru says it, but the more Teru gives those hints, the more Teru explains his behaviour, he believes more and more. At first it was a simple 'no, its the potion' but the more Teru gives those details he never noticed, the more he realizes and even asks Teru personally (of course once Aoi is mentioned, all those details go poof ugh i love my loser boy)

And honestly, Teru saying out all the things he thought inside him outloud to Akane himself really makes me soft inside.. he really was good at working on his words, even to the last scene, he is good with his words and he is good with his movements, he can make Akane believe he hates him in less than a week!

I really also loved your way of portraying Teru's love and how he shows it, it's so pin point to how i imagine it would be. He can be sweet and caring but he can also be forceful and selfish if he can't get what he wants, a detail i always loved about Teru..

And honestly? How sweet Teru is and Akane finally picking up on the hints and the way his strong hatered(?) Gets blocked by the feelings he kept inside and never wanted to let out takes over him a little, his image of Teru changes and hate becomes too strong of a word

İ also enjoy how Akane projects his own way of loving onto Teru, when he thinks of Teru being inlove he immediately thinks of a public confession, a proposal and not whatever he lived, it's such a nice thing i enjoyed im not sure why..

But im still not over the demon Teru and real Teru mirrorings... Maybe Teru won't be as cruel and forceful as a scary demon would be but Akane really was on point for certain aspects... And then it changed once he feels Teru's sweeter side, it makes me think he tries to never misjudge Teru, even in the worst of situations... (🌈) (Sorry i just loved it a lot... Reminds me of the little 'his Akane' in the other fic... A made up persona of Teru in Akane's mind ..)

Overall... Really nice fic... İ love them so much .. i love these silly losers i hope they die /affectionate (sorry if some parts sound off, i tried my hardest to get everything in)

HYGBUYIYUGHYU This is such a sweet and long comment! Thank you for taking the time to write it!

I am glad you enjoyed this one too! Trying to do a pacing I was satisfied with was a bit tricky since Teru isn’t nearly as open about his feelings as Akane, and since it wasn’t in his pov every word was harder to pick, but the way Akane view changes was my favorite part to write! I’m happy you liked how it all turned out :D

Yes!! Akane’s demoniac mental image and the way Teru ‘trap’ him in a princess carry by the end were written back to back, on the same day.

Exactly!Akane doesn’t go out of his way to demonize Teru, he just doesn’t have all the pieces, and the ones he is given is... less flaterring yguuygy he is basically being bullied is hard not to have a negative view of it T-T And Akane projecting his own way of loving is a touch I am still very happy about, he can be self centered in such a casual way is wonderful but e is a perceptive boy! (except when aoi is around, what a loser boy indeed~)

Thank you again! I got hyped when I read your ask, so have this sketch as a gift!

#i am slowly fighting my art block let's gooo #and don't apologize!! I always feel so happy when what I write is appreciated all the way to the details :DDDDD

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waxsuyaaa · 1 month

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ahato mizuta appreciation post

my gurl theyve been stuck in the metro for a very long time

long rant below!! beware.

okay so first off i honestly wish that they would stay a character that nintendo didnt expand on, i loved the sheer amount of fanon and headcanons that people came up with and that the dedf1sh tag was filled with that one post from hwkgrass or smth with ‘press A to imagine inkopolis’ like that was my favourite post and it probably still is and its also the reason i even have tumblr in the first place

and right now the tag is filled with them being a hater and just random things or saying omg nonbinary people are real? really? nonbinary octopus swag or smth and i just dont know about it.. like is everyone really that desperate to get some pronoun drop from nintendo i thought we were satisfied with the 25 bajillion headcanon pages for them. like im not mad they use they them pronouns im just saying its not a big deal and why are we so hungry for new game content it doesnt feel like something people built from the ground up anymore

and oh my god this makes me feel like someone talking for no reason which is probably true but hey i miss the character nobody knew about and that had the hugest backstory that changed on every single post about them and that had so many different sibling headcanons and got sanitized willingly because they just didnt want to think anymore

all the recent art always has haha cunty octopus or whatever where is that one zombie living in the walls who has not stopped working or slept or ate in 8 years

where is that one character who has black fingertips NOT because of them dyeing it but from the breakdown of cell tissue from generally not being alive their entire fanmade backstory just evaporated

am i sad that the canon dedf1sh is now a pasty white slacker in class who got kidnapped by tartar and just got sanitized with no reason whatsoever and nintendo didnt leave the thing up for debate? yeah

was i obsessed with this character before? yeahh

should i be dragged across one of those metal railings making a donk sound on every single pole for posting this and not getting over it? yeah

in conclusion i am still not over the release of acht side order and its stored in my brain as a different character in another splatooniverse and they are not the same person as ahato mizuta

#thanks for listening i should be thrown onto a roof and left there #wow i really do miss that one zombie with hollowed out eyes that glow in the dark and a lack of the sense of touch #ahato mizuta #dedf1sh

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carlos-in-glasses · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @chicgeekgirl89 @theghostofashton @sugdenlovesdingle @ladytessa74 @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @lemonlyman-dotcom @bonheur-cafe @reyesstrand @orchidscript @alrightbuckaroo @liminalmemories21 @strandnreyes @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @jesuisici33 ❤️

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Twenty! <- Linking to the masterlist I recently made because I love the banner! -> This is a direct link to my Ao3.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

270,729

3. What fandoms do you write for

Only 9-1-1 Lonestar. It’s hard to imagine writing for anything else, but time shall tell.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Chasers 🏃🏽 When Soulmates Swim 💦 Afterglow of a Supernova ⭐ The Heart Behind the Shield ❤️‍🩹 The Light of Our Life 🦎

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I sure do. The idea of not responding breaks my heart a little, and I always feel bad for keeping people waiting, although I do. I like to respond chattily if it matches the commenter’s energy, and with a lot of gratitude, but on weekdays I usually end up in a headachy stupor so end up pushing responses until I feel awake. I’m so grateful that people take the time to read and comment. I have to tell them. I don’t even know how to explain how it feels to receive positive comments on my writing after writing into the void for so long before I tried my hand at fanfic.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t think any of them are truly angsty because they all end on a note of TK and Carlos loving each other through anything, but it’s probably Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines because it’s a 3x08 coda and TK is grieving. Or The Center of the Maze because the last chapter is partly a 4x18 coda Carlos is grieving for Gabriel. These boys have been through a lot!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

With Infinity Folded into it – plot being that right after TK proposes, Carlos reflects on the first time they said ‘I love you’. It’s fluff all the way down. But I also want to throw The Ruins of Wonderland (breakup/reconciliation AU) and Release the Hand to Relax the Animal (smut city) into the mix.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I was recently visited by the Carlos-hater fairy, as a few of us have been. It stung. But mainly I came away feeling really sad for the person behind that account.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

The kind where Carlos faceplants the headboard. The kind where they break the bed. The kind where they have tantric sex for hours. The kind where things are inside Carlos while he’s inside TK. The kind where they frot despite potentially being overlooked by ghosts (not as dumb as it sounds).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t, but I’d love to write a Tarlos fic that heavily involves Kevin and Captain Holt from B99. I’d find it challenging to get Kevin and Holt’s voices right, so inspiration will really need to grip me.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes – I was alerted by a lovely reader that portions of one of my fics had been plagiarised. I had to contact Ao3. A lot of people in the fandom really rallied and helped in various ways when it happened and I was lost at what to do. I want to say a big thank you because you shone like a beautiful bright light. It’s not at all flattering to be plagiarised – it feels absolutely terrible.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but I’d like to! It’s a question of finding the time (and agreeing ideas and how to go about it) so as to not let the collaborator down.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Tarlos. And may it never find land.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I typically only work on one thing at a time – so I don’t have an unfinished WIP gathering dust. I hope I’m able to write and post all the ideas I have eventually.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told more than once: Imagery, dialogue, characterisation, and carrying themes through.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting and the more technical stuff. Being a good creative writer doesn’t necessarily translate to perfect grammar and syntax and all that jazz (I did very poorly in school across the board, which I’m sure is a surprise to nobody). I spend a long time editing my fics and fixing things post-production. What gets uploaded to Ao3 is the result of many rethinks and rescue missions.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I would like to work some Spanish into my current WIP (and in fact I’m planning for it to have a Spanish title) I think it’s completely fine to include other languages within fics. If anything it can provide context.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

9-1-1 Lonestar – my beloved, my first and only.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

The 90k story known as Flashback Fic (for now), which I’ll start posting in November, is my favourite fic because I genuinely think it’s the best thing I’ve written ever and I can’t wait to share it. I’ve been exploring the pasts of TK and Carlos in a way I’ve wanted to do for a long time, and linking it to the present, wherein Carlos is has been seeking Gabriel’s killer and floundering. For posted fics, When Soulmates Swim was the most fun I’ve had with characterisation and I loved spending time with TK and Carlos in my head throughout. Chapter 4, Lover’s Leap, was challenging to write but I love how it came out. Feedback on the ‘big moment’ in that chapter has been amazing. But I’m also really proud of The Center of the Maze, which I think is the most ‘beautiful’ and consistently so. I feel weird saying that about my own writing, but I felt really good about it during a re-read (I don’t often re-read them).

I'm not entirely sure who has/hasn't done this so open tag (please tag me back!) and if you haven't done it already/want to: @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @taralaurel @heartstringsduet @paperstorm @rosedavid @chaotictarlos @catanisspicy @noxsoulmate @three-drink-amy @sanjuwrites @lightningboltreader @goodways @wandering-night19 @mikibwrites - no pressure/ignore at your leisure 💘

#20 questions for fic writers #cig tagged #cig fic #my fics

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otterkinflyswalker · 2 months

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just a vent (tw emotional abuse and queerphobia).

im so tired of ppl saying "projection/self-insert is cringe" fuck you not all of us are lucky enough to have really good support systems/therapy. it's hard enough going through a tough situation without ppl like this shaming u for having a coping mechanism. projection is a great way to feel supported when you don't have that many ppl supporting u irl

i'm living in a homophobic household as a lesbian whose gender is a whole clusterfuck. it's been a little over three years since i tried to come out and was rejected blatantly. ever since then my mom and i have fought like every single day. it's rarely even abt my sexuality/gender-- just about things like my interests, my grades, my college applications coming up, etc. often these fights escalate to the point of blatantly terrible statements-- "i regret ever having you," "i don't love you," "you disappoint me." she always apologizes, ofc, and occasionally she says she doesnt remember saying that stuff, but i remember it. it's almost like coming out just opened the floodgates for all our other issues. disclaimer my mom is actually so cool most of the time but these fights have a rlly bad impact on my mental health.

i know this is terrible, but god it hurts to see people with supportive parents. obviously im not angry they're being supported. that's great i'm really happy for them it just makes me so sad because i can't even imagine what that's like. but i think the most painful thing about seeing so many ppl with supportive parents is that it makes me feel so alone. and that's where the projection bit comes in.

by projecting on my fav characters, i'm just slightly less alone, and what im going through is just slightly cooler. oh i have trust issues from being in the closet? swag so does kaito vocaloid. oh i'm living in an emotionally abusive household? kaito vocaloid did that too. oh i have to hide my long-term relationship from my parents for another year or two before i'm free to make my own choices and every single second i'm terrified i'm going to be found out? well if kaito vocaloid and kamui gakupo could make it through then why can't i.

i know that sounds really fucking pathetic but it's fucking helping me get out of bed in the morning. i dont give a shit if it's "cringe." i'd rather be cringe than dead.

tldr: fuck the haters. if i'm a lesbian lego batman is too

#vent post #emotional abuse #projecting #lego batman #vocaloid kaito

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big-city-times · 1 year

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due to popular demand (two people in the replies of this post) i will now complain about how agitating the penny the pony and the pirate is to me (coming out as a hater) [under the cut][not going to put a whole essay in the main tag without a cut]

prepare yourself [i am so sorry]

before diving deep into my "he would not fucking say that" syndrome, there are ?? a lot of things i like about this episode ??

positives

the biggest, and the one that makes me the most sad, is how much i love the b plot. partially because it feels ironic watching becky and violet try to rewatch the mid-summer special of pretty princess and trying to convince themselves that its not as bad as they had thought originally, as i desperately try to convince myself that this episode isn't as bad as i had thought, but also because its just so ??? funny ??

like. fucking watch this

that's ?? hilarious ??? and it's used in this episode ???

not to mention that violet is just so adorable and funny in this episode and i love myself some good violet characterization AND theres really goofy botsford moments !! like them bullying tangent for not being able to tell a good story. father daughter bonding /j

also, about tim specifically, i find myself saying "can you believe this guy!! hey buddy !! the doubloons exhibit was last week !!!" a lot strangely enough

there's also some really silly bits about tangent himself !! like i've really stuck with the idea of him LOVING hearing other people's stories, stealing only when he's low on cash, or having a mom who's an artist

like !!! those are super cute and fun !!!!!!!! hearing about villains daily live's is one of my favorite parts of this show !! they're just presented in a way that doesn't sit right in my head !!

nice and goofy animations as well :]

negatives

yk. this is a rant. it's not really intended to be about the positive stuff so

cutting straight to the chase, i know exactly what the main reason is. it's the voice actor change im not gonna lie

for a minute, imagine, a character with a higher-pitched voice that you like, say, spongebob

then imagine them with a voice that is an octave deeper than their usual voice

isn't that weird and disorienting ??? like it just doesn't feel like them anymore ??

as violet says in this episode itself, that's. not their real voice, not to you at least

in this case, not only is his voice deeper, but its brash and gruff rather than his usual young, kind sounding voice, with a obvious (and often broken) fake accent. he sounds more like an adult and it BOTHERS me

its giving the minor change in chuck's voice in a world without wordgirl. while still the same person, a minor shift in his speech patterns makes him far less likeable

obviously this is no hate to brian stack (his va for this episode), he did a very good job on the actual acting, the voice just doesn't feel right for the character :]

there's also something that feels off about the way a lot of his lines are presented, not in voice, but more in the style of writing

in the previous two episodes, despite being absent minded and annoying to those around him, he's very selfless and kind, (caring about the safety of scoops and the dogs, leaving people alone if they reject him, noticing that scoops is upset [though he does interpret it wrong], ext.) but, here, it feels more like he's less distracted by his thoughts, and more self-focused. for example, regardless that he did enjoy tim's history lesson on the bumblebee penny, he immediately turns and begins to tell his own story, which just feels ??? way out of character ??

less negative, but he feels wayyy less focused here, and begins and ends stories very often, feeling less like they're tangents, and more like really brief, mildly annoying tidbits about himself ?? lmfao

it feels almost like they tried too hard on the tangents and ended up staying way too close to the topic. we are no longer going from pirates favorite wood to ballet slippers and that makes me very sad :[

i guess theres just something very offputting about how pirate-y he feels. he doesn't feel like some dork in a costume, and that's what i feel his character is supposed to be like !! he's not really a pirate !! he doesn't have a ship !! he rides around in a wagon !!! a flying wagon !!

conclusion :

as i said earlier, i keep coming back to this episode hoping that i'll like it better, but i never do.

who are you !!!!!! idk what villain that is !!! this episode has so much potential !! the crime is so goofy !! he's just written in a very strange way !!!

bonus bit - why is it so funny to me that his arm literally makes a clanking noise when he touches it. look at this stupid little twig arm. there is no way youve ever been to the gym youre lying

#sorry this ep just really bugs me cause its one of the three episodes he gets in the whole series and i am just never able to enjoy it :[#wordgirl #i will get back to normal posting soon #captain tangent #the penny the pony and the pirate

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martin-k-b1ackwood · 2 years

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ok im tired of keeping all of this inside me

glam from metal family but here are all of my headcanons and aus and what makes me good for sharing these is that i do not ever stop thinking about metal family, do not try to change my mind but definitely ask questions

i am so sorry in advance to those of u who want to read all of this

first of all i don't think i invented this one but hc glam has DID theory. source: i have DID and i see him have symptoms that i have too and i am projecting. dissociative smile? check. childhood trauma? we watched the same show right. change in personality?? you watched the show right????? i think it sounds feasible. also not demonizing DID bc im not a glam hater bc he is allowed to fuck up sometimes and dee is canonically not pressed abt the episode that makes people hate glam for some reason

further in depth on that one but i think if he were to have DID we've seen proof of either 2 or 3 different personalities in glam. id argue happy sparkly glam is one of them, and i'd say there's a more serious "sebastian" in the situation. i have mixed feelings on whether or not the alter during the dee guitar episode would be serious sebastian or some sort of traumatic recreation of glam's dad.

second is sort of canon but like. glam homeless in childhood. did he stay with ches? id say yes most of the time but god KNOWS those boys got in fights and i think glam would sleep on a park bench to get away for a while.

i also think glam is autistic and yes i am projecting again. he is so bad at being a social person and so very very good at the things he fixates on. my homie stayed up all night listening to that twisted sister record. and he literally refused to sleep so he could go practice guitar. i think this has a lot of implications with things he had to get used to being poor as well, like sure he enjoys cooking but he can't afford the best ingredients, *especially* when he was recently kicked out of his home. fortunately i think he's willing to try everything once but as we can tell by his cooking in the show he definitely has a preference for cuisine~~. also. again. the dissociative smile.

ches was glam's first kiss and it was probably at like some party playing spin the bottle and the girls ches was playing spin the bottle with were begging them to kiss because they thought it was funny or something and ches definitely expected glam to say no but he just shrugged and they kissed. glam will try anything at least once.

yeah i ship them too i think they kissed more than just once. my general sexuality hc for glam is demisexual/demiromantic and I GET IT I AM PROJECTING

finally the one AU i think about a lot and i REALLY need to draw art of this for my art blog but COWBOY AU GLAM. this was prompted by me listening to a lot of orville peck. the guitar goes fucking insane sometimes you know, and ches could sing old style country, and the babe herself vicky is a trucker in this AU and that SLAPS. country music is probably just as forbidden to glam's dad as metal was. imagine glam just busting it down to like "big green tractor" (JOKE I AM JOKING). dee's guitar episode but he's trying to learn some taylor swift song. GOLDEN

thanks for coming to my ted talk

#metal family #glam #metal family headcanons #metal family au #country family #???

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sleepwithnightlights · 7 months

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I am a bit scared

I use a nightlight to sleep I am 23 and am scared of the dark. I am scared that something is there, something will jump at me. That when i open my eyes they will meet someone elses, that things move at the corner of my eye. I already sucked at falling asleep but that made it even worse. Plus i think i started to grind my teeth a while ago, if i had to guess at the same time the shadows started to actually be scary. I used to be fine with the dark and when i imagined something being there, coming at me i would smile in understanding of the creature, sympathy. I wasnt scared of them and it was a proving that i was toughened up that they werent worse than what i knew. So it might be good that they are scary now, perhaps it means i allow myself to be vulnerable. Stress and worse time falling asleep would disagree tho. I feel silly writing this while knowing i might share it. I know not many will see it and at worst an ai bot scrapped it and thinks humans use the word scary and scared a lot more than they should. I also dont write. I used to when i wanted to be an author, they were horse stories and truly wonderful. Later in school i still loved to write, some of it was the silliness i deserved, and some was concerning and should have tipped off my teachers. I guess i gotta say: "I dont write anymore." Which will soon be a lie if i ever make it past 1 or 2 posts. I also dont speak english as my first language and i dont get better at grammar the later it gets, which is when i will write most of these texts. Late at night when im dreading to exist but death is too extreme because of my mom and because of my dog and because of my cat and because of my friends and im scared of pain and i am not at risk, i am in therapy and would certainly not go on a blog to seek my last contact and all i want is to be nothingness but not dead but every thought is poison and i want it to finally shut up up there. So i'll write instead and finally remember what i was thinking duing this time and make it easier for my therapist.

I dont think i used a single comma so far. Oops. I also think that i am being cringe. I will sound edgy no matter how i word it and that no thought will be unique, that what i write is eye-rollable. Teenager stuff. I guess its teenager stuff, its kids stuff, the me teenager and the me kid is just as angry and sad and terrified as the now me. I guess i deserve to be those things and sound cringey and edgy i've got important stuff to share, like being a sad and terrified and angry kid. So back off hater and ai that will not use a single comma now thanks to me. You are welcome guys, i saved us from the impending plagiarization of everything everyone is writing anywhere. Yippie.

I dont allow myself to have a break from doing something during the day.i need to do something so i dont start thinking. Thats stuff bed-me has to deal with and she has gotten quite adapt at trying their best to work with the mess day-me has to deal with. • Fantasy stories. • Funny or exciting scenarios. • Revenge scenarios. • Fake arguments. • Something tragic has happened and only i can help (f.e. a train has been taken hostage and i can save everybody). • Someone i love dearly has died (not actually) and i am now left to deal with grief i cannot even imagine how bad it will be once they truly die. • Someone i love died (actually) and i am left to be furious with the hands they were dealt and they were not able to live their life as they deserved it. • Less now but i used to love creating little love interests and creating whole stories on how we met and fell in love.

There is more but writing does make me tired. Also a lot of these dont actually seem good or helpful and you would be correct but awful scenarios bring a sense of control since i know how to deal with surviving and adapting to anything.

I think i had strategies like these since ever. They used to be mostly diving into the fantasyland of whatever book i was reading, creating my own character, having my own powers, replaying what fun they had. I used to look forward to that part of falling asleep since it was so fun. I dont know if there is something not "normal" about that, something any kid wouldnt do aswell. Im starting to get frustrated that i cant put my thoughts down into writing like i want it to, so ill go try and sleep again. Thank you for reading, hope you got your nigthlight on or video or

#cptsd life #cptsd thoughts #cptsd vent #cptsdhealing #thoughts #funny

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fuckenvampirism · 7 months

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i awesome just fall over the world erupts into clapter, so happy just to see me doing anything and i see ten people in particular, ten people exactly. not nine, not eleven. not nine and a half. ten people, they do not clap or seem joyous at all, and i celebrate that even more. imagine living in a world where everyone ever thought you were awesome, tha t would be so unfair and would feel fake or stale after a while but anyway after i shake off the various pains of falling over, i do wlakt over to those people and the spotlight follows me, but i dont realise this until ive reached their row because im just so used to it, but i look up at the source and chuckle a little, swatting my hand like "oh, you guys!" and the light technician knows to turn it off, and i shake each of the ten peoples hands (meaning i shake one hand from each of them, not both of every one of them) and they introduce themselves to me. okay so ive never been good at remembering names but one of them was. actually i cant remember. but they were all good natured folks, just honest about their reactions and feelings, and each of them gave me their phone number and they all agreed we could start a pretty great group chat. i was feeling pretty confident about this but when i got home i saw they made a group chat and added me to it and it was just full of images and gifs of me falling over and their messages were like "yeah idont actually think falling over is that awesome or cool to be honest/ im glad i can feel safe enough to tell you guys this. i tried to tell my mom once and she tried to beat me up" and everyone else was fawning over them, wait i just scrooled up to that message in the chat, his name is "tom" or whatever, anyway they were all "oh my god! that is terrible, that sounds like a really unsafe environment" and i just rolled my eyes like jesus chriiiist how bad can that actually be, but i wanted to be polite and so i said "apologies;. i am ver disheartened to learn that one of my fans would behave in this way. i dont know you very well, but i personally do not support child abuse and i gotta say, you did not deserve that potential beat-up tha t she had threatened you with. does she do this often? i hope not ,because that would be pretty bad." and someone told me i was ruining the vibe and it made me feel a little bad, i realised how foolish i was to join a group chat of literally my only ten haters in the whole wide world, but then i realised that is a victim-blaming mentality because it is always the peoples fault who want to hurt people that people get hurt at all, so i took a deep breath and took forever to type it, but i made agoodbye message that was something along the lines of "thank yiu all so so much for this experience. i know i have only met you somewhat recently, but i have already learened so much from all of you. you're the realest motherfuckers ive ever come across and i res[ect you allso greatly. sorry i got some water on my screen (it was a teardrop) that being said, i personally just need to take a break from this environment. i dont know if it is the best for me, but i will let you all know, all you beautiful sexy people, when i plan on returning, which i do. i hope you can understand and i trust you to respect my privacy in this time." i never spoke to them again. i think about it everuy day. i know they still think of me

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youngster-monster · 7 months

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it is literally the most nonsense working title ever but i thought it was so so funny and well personally im quite weak to the concept of humor so even if maybe future me wants to rip me apart with their bare hands then thats a price im willing to pay!!!! all vibes no story here

i am batting the pumpkin around and screaming at the top of my lungs. i am Enriched

being a hater is so good for me. thats not to say i dont read fics i hate (especially in smaller fandoms i kind of just get to make eyes at the author from a distance while still religiously consuming all i can get.. I Wont Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth, But I Won't Be Happy About The Horse Being In My House In The First Place) but if the fic numbers go up and i dont have to read them ? well. i just wont <3

toxic trait perhaps but its a GOOD trait to me. it is the funniest thing imaginable. guy who absolutely hates the way you characterize them but has literally no choice but to read your kaellidan fics because theres frankly not a whole lot to go round here

i dont know how to tell you this but the minecraft lava pit part is so close to whats there that im actually in shambles. you will never believe the method of rp that was used for the one he comes from and you will never believe what i did to his house

(pro gamer kabedon is still a wip BUT i would be willing to perhaps divulge a little information about it :) as a treat)

(you shall hear from me soon, with no anon, and you WILL hear about him because it is my favorite hobby to make people hear about him. he sucks. i hate him. hes the oc i remember the most about by far. his backstory has changed at least 8 times because we would start new settings with the same ocs but instead of it being an au sort of thing it was like This Is Canon Now, and he is the WORST. you will hear so very much about him)

it's good to have reading standards. But sometimes fic is fic okay!! He wouldn't fucking say that but at least he's got a speaking role!!

Kicking my feet and giggling the few times I get an even remotely rude comment like what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament, commenter? I don't WANT anyone to hate my writing but. It is a funny thought. Cope and seethe ( < said to no one because the fandom has been very polite)

Minecraft RP oc real. Local oc just the entire multiverse of himself including Roblox version. I love the concept so far ngl

'you shall hear from me soon' sounds like the concerning post scriptum you'd get on a letter from a spy you sent into enemy to territory. When will anons identity come back from the war...

#Ask #anonymous #I'm like that ratatouille food critic guy if I don't like it (fic) I don't swallow (continue reading)#I'm a snob. And suffering!! I can't have too many rarepairs it's bad for my health #Thankfully my standards are. Not very high.#The warcraft fandom has been incredibly kind and welcoming of my whack characterization. Y'all are good nice

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barnesandrogersfanfics · 3 years

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Baby Love - Part 10

A/N - Finally an update!! 💕

chrisevans I'm so excited to announce that Y/N and I are expecting!! We are both over the moon.... i cannot even put into words how happy i am right now.

Mama and baby are both doing great and Dodger is thrilled that he's about to become a big brother.

#BabygirlEvansComingSoon

It was a few weeks after the premiere, middle of May, my 5th month in my pregnancy that Chris finally put out the announcement and surprisingly it went well....better than i could ever have imagined. The messages from Chris's fans were amazing! Of course there was still some haters but nothing that was too awful or couldn't be ignored. It was nice that it was out now and i didn't have to worry about someone finding out and leaking it to the press.

Chris was scheduled to start filming 'Defending Jacob' a series for Apple TV mid June through to July. The good thing being it was filming in Massachusetts, 20 minutes from home so he wouldn't have to stay away.

Chris was finally upstairs getting ready so he could head to set, he had been whining this morning about wanting to stay home with his girls.

I was currently laying on the sofa in a sports bra and shorts, with my now 6 month belly showing while i watched some crappy daytime show.... i had removed Chris's t-shirt when i started getting hot flushes.

"Okay im ready to.....go. Jesus christ why are you half naked right now?" I looked round to see Chris looking me up and down like i was the tastiest thing he'd ever seen. I rolled my eyes looking back at the TV "hot flushes, i sweat through my shirt...i feel like I'm burning alive"

"Such a drama queen" he chuckled

"Excuse you?..... you wanna try going through this??" I snapped, i knew as soon as it was out of my mouth it was uncalled for and instantly felt bad "I'm sorry i didn't mean to snap.... is the damn AC even working?" i said almost feeling like i was gonna cry. Chris came walking over crouching in front of me with a cold cloth and draped it across my forehead.

"That should help a little and i got you some ice..." he passed me a cup of ice chips and i cried.

"Hey! Whats wrong?"

"You're just the best boyfriend ever"

"Awww" he chuckled pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Don't.... I'm all sweaty and gross"

"I like you all sweaty" he wriggled his eyebrows making me laugh "and you're not gross..... you're beautiful. I nearly had a heart attack seeing you laying here looking like this.... now i really don't wanna leave"

"You have to, stop making excuses"

"I dont want to leave you alone like this..."

"I wont be, Scott's coming over we're gonna go for lunch later"

"Oh.... "

"You're okay with that right?"

"Yeah of course" he smiled before leaning in to give me a kiss.

"Hey! its just me!" Scott yelled from the front door on cue.

"In here!" I yelled reaching my hands out to Chris to help me up into a sitting position.

"Yikes! what is going on with you you're a mess" Scott said looking concerned.

"Thanks! Thats just what i needed to hear Scotty" i scooped out an ice chip and popped it in my mouth.

"Hot flushes" Chris told Scott and he pulled a face.

"I'll be okay in a minute, it'll pass. Though im pretty tempted to go jump in the damn pool right about now"

"Stay outta the pool sweetheart, maybe a lukewarm bath or shower would help?"

"I'll be fine Chris, you need to go or you're gonna be late"

"I don't wanna leave you alone...."

"Err hello? Im here, she's not alone" Scott said coming to sit next to me on the sofa.

"Can you put your shirt back on.....i don't feel comfortable...." Chris started to say while looking me over again.

"Stop! I am not putting that thing back on when i feel like I'm in the pits of hell Evans!" I said pointing at the soaking wet t-shirt on the table " besides Scott's seen me in my bathing suit plenty of times.... I'm wearing more now than i was then! also incase you forgot.... I'm not his type"

"I feel insulted!" Scott gasped before smiling at his brother.

"Just go to work! I will call you if i need anything, we'll be fine".

Chris sighed but nodded, he leant in and gave me a kiss and finally left for set.

"Geez he always like that?"

"No, he's got a little more protective as the pregnancy has gone on but that was new"

"He's probably just worried about you. This is the first time he's had to really leave you since you've been pregnant"

"He'll be back tonight! He needs to chill out. I know i sound like a bitch and i really don't mean to but i literally feel like Satan himself is roasting my body!"

"You want some more ice chips?"

"Yes please".

After another 30/40 minutes i finally felt myself cooling down.

"Oh thank god! I think it passed"

"For now"

"Thanks!" I laughed "I've had a few hot flushes here and there but nothing like that... that was brutal!"

"Well I'm glad it passed, why don't you go take a shower and we'll go get some lunch, it will do you good to get some fresh air, we can even take Dodger"

"Sounds good to me".

Scott and i grabbed lunch at a small family run cafe that was kinda tucked away, not a lot of people actually knew about it which was the reason we chose this place when we'd have lunch....it also had a small outside seating area where we could sit with Dodger.

Once we were done with lunch we took Dodger for a walk in the park where he found a new friend, they ran around together for a good half an hour.

"Wow he's gonna be beat" Scott laughed as we sat on a bench watching the two dogs running around.

"Good! He has too much energy!"

I chuckled "i'll be wanting to sleep and he brings me his toys wanting to play its exhausting" i said exaggerating, truth was i loved that Dodger always wanted my attention.

"Well he's gonna have to learn to share you when my niece arrives"

"Do you think he'll be okay with the baby?"

"Im sure he will, Dodge is a good boy"

"The best, i just worry. I worry about everything lately though" i laugh rubbing my hand over my belly "you ready to head back?"

"Sure"

I whistle and call for Dodger and he comes running straight over allowing me to attach he's leash.

"Lets go home bubba" i scratched behind his ear before handing the leash to Scott.

We got back to the house and let Dodger out of the car, he ran straight towards the front door and started growling and scratching at the door.

"Hey stop!" Scott said quickly and Dodger turned to look at him before starting again this time barking loudly.

"Whats his problem?"

"I don't know....."

"Maybe Chris is home?"

"His car isn't here....." i opened the door and Dodger ran inside sniffing everywhere.

"Hey Chris you home?" Scott called out but i already knew he wasn't, this didn't feel right.....

"Scott, somethings wrong....."

"What do you mean?" He asked turning to me looking concerned.

"I don't know its just a feeling i have"

Dodger suddenly ran past us and up the stairs, we followed him up to find him sitting outside mine and Chris's bedroom scratching at the door.

"Chris....." Scott called again thinking Dodger just wanted to get to him but no answer, the house was silent.

Scott stepped forward and opened the door and we both gasped at the what we saw. The whole room was trashed.

"Scott..... what if someones still in the house?" I turned to him with wide eyes as panic set it.

"Stay in here with Dodger, I'm gonna check the house..."

"No! Just call the cops, stay in here with us!"

"I'll be fine! They're probably long gone, Dodger would be going crazy if they were still here...but i just wanna make sure".

"Please be careful! I'll call the cops"

"Okay lock the door behind me".

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit @rynabarnesrogers-reading @rainbowkisses31 @rororo06 @supernaturalwintersoldier @fairlightswiftly @hiddelstannerbarnes @bellamy-barnes @buchanansebba

Baby love tags @jennmurawski13 @mybabyboytony @ms-betsy-fangirl @vampgirl1997 @ajosieface @afuckingshituniverse @chmedic @esoltis280

@southerngracela @bethabear12 @letsdisneythings @sellulii @katiew1973 @princess-evans-addict

@deidrahouseofpain @siren-queen03 @shipatheart @little-dark-empress @xxloki81xx @lizzyclifford13-blog @booktease21 @lets--be-honest @thevelvetseries @farfromtommy @mery-be @drakelover78

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #reader insert #captain america #steve rogers #baby love

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ariyadaivaris · 3 years

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- christ i hate smug mma dudes more than anything on this earth. you're a man doing mma what do you have to be excited about? washing out of ufc and having to resort to a dying professional wrestling company? the systematic oppression of women? the paul brothers? i'm putting nails in your shoes

- the rare and coveted tshirt ariya. phwew he's really uh. he's very. twirls hair. he's kinda

- ariya using a rose metaphor for himself teehee i love being very smart and always right about everything

- "i guess you don't think tony can do it on his own aye" is soooooo so so far from anything that has ever happened between tony and ariya that it's LAUGHABLE. ariya deserves to laugh in his face. cringe and fail broadway-musical-rock-of-ages-male-lead-understudy looking little man. no i'm gonna argue with the kayfabe enemy actually the WHOLE THING up to this point has been ariya trying to prove himself and the subtle tension of tony becoming champion where ariya never has, the only the ONLY time ariya has ever not believed in tony is when he had a full on spiral breakdown towards the beginning of the year when they were questioning splitting them up again for some fucking reason and then it got retconned because DUHHHHHH why would you ever split tony and ariya up just for fun or a giggle when they;ve got the most complex relationship on 205 if you re*you walk away knowing all of this already because you have heard this every week for the last three years but you can still hear me talking in the distance, talking and talking though no one is there...*

- obsessed with this promo actually...ariya's mannerisms are so good he's SO...FUN. i LOVE watching him. he is so self-assured and so charming and there is so obviously so much frustration buried like, an INCH deep beneath all of it. it takes grey pushing him ONCE for him to lose his verve. im SO interested in this

- the thread here is, of course, "you think tony can't do it on his own?" which, as i've stated, is so far from true or what ariya thinks that it's comic. when ariya spits, "of COURSE tony nese can do it on his own", there are a lot of factors at play. when he concedes that maybe instead of going out there, he WILL stay backstage, there's a lot going on there!!! there IS!!! *voice of an unwell person* there IS a lot going on - tony doesn't need to prove he can do it on his own, because he already has. ariya's storyline...like i mentioned, he had a weird moment at the beginning of the year, when it seemed like maybe he and tony were going to be split up. that was very much a moment of "okay the writing might change so it's time to set something up" of course but i think it's interesting to think about as a character impulse. ariya is working to prove he can do things on his own. this has BEEN his thing. he and tony are a team again, but ariya's tried to win with other teams and he's tried to win alone, and though he's successful more often than 205 would have you believe, he's still very shaky. tony has been allowed to work outside of the orbit of other people, and ariya hasn't gotten that chance as much. and, besides that, tony doesn't CARE about it in the same way ariya does. tony...when he gets intense, it's about interpersonal stuff. drew, buddy, cedric, akira, swerve. tony competes with people! ariya competes with himself. does that make sense. i know what i mean. its fine ariya...is on edge. he likes tony and he likes working with tony, but he hasn't been a competitor like tony is. tony's been very accomodating, stepping back or supporting ariya's feuds and allowing him to do What He Needs To Do, which means ariya can try to work alone without going completely rogue and sabotaging shit. when he tried to cut himself off from tony, it was...well it was retconned. but. that's what he's done before and this time it didn't work because ONE it's just tony and ariya, there's no exacerbating force, and TWO, tony and ariya are, after all, friends. tony wants to be friends with ariya and it is hard work to be friends with ariya but he will do it. so they work it out. and ariya is left feeling very very weird about it, and very very aware of how much he kind of depends on tony, when tony doesn't depend on him, at all. ariya tries to protect tony and gas him up and keep an eye on him to make up for All That He's Done Before and to feel like this friendship is two-sided (which it is, of course, friendship is more than a strategic advantage but that's how ariya's always approached it and it's a hard habit to break), but he doesn't have the wins to back up the feeling of being Worth It as a friend. it's...i feel like i just sound out of my gourd saying all of this lol and i am. but when ariya bitterly says, "of course tony nese can do it on his own." it's not just the anger at grey being a dickhead towards tony. it's also ariya being painfully aware that tony can do it without ariya's help. there's a threat in that statement, that question that doesn't need to be asked. there's an irony to it. its...think about it this way: if tony was talking to grey about watching ariya's match, grey wouldn't snark about if tony thought ariya could do it. you know?

- that doesnt make sense. whatever <3 im free

- wow love seeing kushida defending the title. imagine if that happened.....on.......205 live

- ariya literally getting successfully talked out of watching tony's match because he wants to show he believes in tony :( i'm hurt...i'm so hurt. so fucked up and twisted. by GREY too, ariya has kind of a BIT with grey huh. him cheating to pin ariya and then going noooo cheating is wrong against all other opponents. the way grey is super hypocritical and shitty to him and then to no one else. ariya almost respecting him for what ariya understands as Someone Who Gets It and then revealing oh no i just really don't like you and want to piss you off. this one dude who keeps targetting ariya specifically in all the ways that most drive ariya into a frenzy and he managed to hit him where it hurts the most enough to drive him into hiding. oughhhh aughhhh - everyone on 205 being a hater for no reason and seeing ariya trying to deal with his Issues(TM): hm. i can make him worse

- SUNFLOWER JACKET!!!!!!!! SUNFLOWER JIRO. PRECIOUS AND BELOVED. KING AMONG ALL CRUISERWEIGHTS. I DONT KNOW WHO ARIYA IS

- the exaggerated "BOO!""YAY!" cheers for jiro. who am i to say he doesn't deserve them. he DOES. we LOVE jiro. jiro is allowed to homewreck gold standard if he wants to i'll pretend not to see

- UNBREAKABLE!! AUGHHH HE'S SO COOL AND FUN AND HIS MIND IS SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL. jiro has such a fucking bonkers sense of like...dragging a move out. that man can MAKE a sequence! he gets the upper hand and he holds onto it for ages and the entire time its never dull. always with the momentum! always with the visualization of everything around him and how to make it into a show. i just simply think that jiro kuroshio

- HE'S DYINGGGGGGG NOOOOOOOO JIRO. TONY NESE YOU'RE A DEAD MAN. he looks great at this angle though love you weirdo. oh NO your jacket is NOT cool enough to pull this off fkshsdskd - jiro injecting some MUCH needed humor back into 205 thank you so much

- tony's stupid joth uniform next to jiro's sunflower pattern is SO good. fuckin goth v prep diagram dynamic. creamsicle blogging moments

- OH I LOVE A GOOD PIN. we LOVE a good pin don't we. that kick to tony on the apron ROCKS

- clearly you don't own an air fryer...

- OH HIS FORM IS FUCKING UNREAL. WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!! JIRO KUROSHIO BABEY

- i REALLY like this match. this is 205 to me

- IS THAT A 205 CHANT??? IS THAT A 205 CHANT I HEAR??? OH????? WORM????? ITS BEEN LIFETIMES....................

- ooohohohoohohHOOO tony's recovery from the moonsault. that was. dare i say. Epic

- JIROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

- jiro treating mister nese like a little football. sorry anthony. perhaps you should just be cooler <3

- THAT WAS SO FUN......what a meaty episode this week. harkens back to 205 of old.............i love it. im loving this energy. jiro kuroshio you are going to save 205 i believe it

#205 lb #meta tag #long post -#sorry

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alchemist-shizun · 5 years

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As expected, Dealing with intrusive thoughts is now one of my favorites

Here I come with almost all of my reactions on the episode, even though I tagged the spoiler warnings I put everything under the cut just in case. Enjoy the emotional rollercoaster while I'll probably go and rewatch it again.

Okay kinda expected one or two of the warnings but all of them together what is gonna happen???? (Though they make sense after reading the title)

HELLO FRESH BACK AGAIN

"I'm awesome and I can do this" there goes my boy. *said boy falls flat on the floor* ...come on

I felt that yawn bc I stayed up all night waiting for the video but it dropped at 8 am, I'm an idiot who should've gotten more sleep

"help me" why is he such a mood "everything is going wrong in my life" same but YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT LET ME HUG YOU

They're all sinking up so fast god I missed my bois. Also the general awkwardness of Virge and Pat, greeeeat something will go wrong

Virgil just ignoring everything and touching the railing, a mood

ALSO PLEASE LET ROMAN IN THE SITUATION

SECRET SECRETS ARE NO FUN TELL ME NOW OR ELSE WE'RE DONE

wait why does Ro want to be deeply troubled- man are you okay-

LOGAN'S HERE

"your most extreme reaction is an eyebrow raise" "FALSEHOOD" "I stand corrected" omfg

"what are you ta- what are you talking- what are you talking about?" I loved that whole take it made me feel complete

"Look I barely got any sleep" this can apply to a lot of us and I love just how we're all always like "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" but in the end this is where we all end up anyway

Okay I'm very curious about these troubling thoughts though

"so sushi" FUCCC I DIED RIGHT THERE

"Don't act like that was an accident" "everybody, Virgil. Let's give it up for the Purp Man" these speak for themselves. Also the purp man is my new fav nickname and I'm gonna use it.

4:17 Patton is adorable bye

"if you continue to push this we're going to end up in really dangerous territory" AND THAT'S WHERE THE TENSION STARTED TO BUILD UP

great flick

"am I delirious or is this the funniest video I've ever made" I felt that

YOU HIGH-JOCKED

okay but when Thomas starts disassociating I also feel really weird like as if there was something blocking my own hearing for real?? And not just the audio edited like that?? Maybe I'm just too tired

WHAT WHO WHHH first intrusive thought making its way what is gonna happen

OH MY GOD ROMAN WATCH OUT ALSO THAT'S DEFINITELY A NEW DARK SIDE OR SMTH LIKE THAT

W HO THE FUCKLKDSL IS THAT A MOUSTACHE IS THAT GLITTER WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE WEARING WHAT IS HE DOING THERE PLEASE- okay but he looks crazy af I like that

"-evIL" "-SHOW UP"

First time I watched the scene where Ro gets knocked out I literally just screamed "ROMAN" in a high pitched sound I was shook wtf my bOY

Patton and Thomas's yells in unison plus "YOU KILLED HIM" I just I JUST

"Ah, he's the Duke" "....... boo" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay but his voice is so on point with his character portrayal he's so weird it's awesome?

SONG SONG SONG and oh goodness the visuals I can't fathom how much editing work must have gone through this, they're all so talented.

"aunt patty naked" A G AI N??

"IM GONNA WHIP YOUR BUTT"

a snaKE IT'S DECEIT oh my these silouhettes are so great this is my favorite scene

this is gonna be stuck in my head all day

THE COOL MIRROR EDIT.

god i hate him so much already but i'm super intrigued he's so chaotic the whole team made a wonderful job i'll never stop saying this

"i'm really stupid right now" just how much out of context relatable content are we going to get on this fine day?

omg the dark version of creativity, which can be associated with intrusive thoughts, that's very clever

THE JUICY STUFF DANCE

"Repression can be very bad indeed" I mean he's right tbh it leads to never solving the problem at all

GO LOGAN GO HAVE YOUR TIME TO SHINE FINALLY i missed him

"i can't hear youuuuuu" much like "I don't understand what you're saying I don't know anything about words" THE DARK SIDES ARE ALL SASSY LITTLE BITCHES

pattonnnn did a real good job

THE BRAVE HANDSOME UNBEATABLE ROMAN and mashed potatoes

"scary" and Virgil just gives Thomas a look idk I live on the little details (Im ten minutes into the vid and look how long this post already is)

GEE Remus (already using his name bc it's shorter) looking so offended at the label and then pointing out it should be a Virgil problem whAT DOES THIS MEAN IM SHAKING

WHY WOULD HE BE DECEIT AGAIN IM DYING. "Idk if you guys can tell but I'm a little silly"

"then why are you lying" no everybody I don't need angst

THE BLACK AND THE WHITE THEORY I SAW GOING AROUND good job to whoever thought of that

JOAN

the forbidden dance

INTO A BUTTHOLE WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BUTTHOLES

there u go thomas said it too

haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate FHDSLAKLFD

irresponsible parenting, Logan completing the parental unit of the sides

"maybe there's hope for you after all!" me looking at all my wips

REMUS' LAUGH IS PERFECT. also "BITCH WHAT IS *YOUR* DEAL"

"you've never been one to soften the truth" OH BOI HERE WE GO

"do we have some case of brain swap???" I legitly said "maybe" in unison with Patton the first time

Vee pls stop putting Thommy boy down he's having a bad time

Logan trying to put some sense into the situation is my only spark of hope for this to turn back good

REMUS IS SO DRAMATIC

That lick was ....... let's pretend it never happened

"you know who can help us with that???" DECEIT'S SONG COMING UP that was great, imagine the chaos that the duo would create

"THATS WHAT REPRESSION IS?"

gasp Remus trying to make Virgil angry at Logan shall not stand DON'T PUT THEM AGAINST ONE ANOTHER HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP

"you all are not listening to Thomas" this is the development I needed

"you're just para-" and he cuts himself. You all know what I'm talking about. Foreshadowing probably? This happened too back then when Roman was almost calling him the same. And then Virge looks so hurt I- "thank you for being on guard" that made me want to cry idk

the whole speech Logan gave? Pure gold. That was perfect.

HE SAID FIGURATIVELY *CLAP CLAP CLAP*

"UH RECORD SCRATCH?"

"does this make me cool?" djslagrkglhf also the teeth thing right after what the

... the deodorant eating ...

DUKEY

The first time I watched I thought his name was spelled Remis that's how dumb my Italian ass is

Still I love his name bc I'm a nerd for ancient culture, ESPECIALLY Roman (and ancient Greek but it isn't mentioned here) and I love the little thing they did with both Creativity names, super clever and very much liked on my part.

"I would never hide anything from you" and he looks at Virgil JUST ALL THIS FORESHADOWING

LOGAN SHOWING HIS TEETH BACK UP

"how about you shut up" Roman what the hecc man

THAT THING INTO LOGANS HEAD UNSETTLED ME A BIT

what are they doing to him today let him rest

double blow

"can we logic our way out of that?" everybody nodding was so pure

"shit"

THAT FUCKING JUMPSCARE I'M SORRY WHAT THE FU

"not all thoughts are meaningful"

He's go- no he's back again

THE CALLBACK MENTION AND PATTONS REACTION... probable foreshadowing to what Joan said about there being a part two of SvS?

"When are you actually gonna jump out of a moving car I've been bringing it up for years" so it's not just me..?

"it is okay if the thought happens to cross your mind"

"everything is okay" I'm going to cry I needed that

I love how Logan touches the topic that there is no problem in seeking help from therapists. There's a lot to say on this, but I was really glad that was pointed out since the are a lot of stereotypes on the matter

why did Virgil look like he was about to cry

Patton I love you

Thomas going to rest is what everyone wanted to see

Virgil confronting Remus I'm living you're doing amazing sweetie

"you tickle me emo"

"it was just like old times" then Pat and Lo's looks in this essay I will

ROMAAAAN

VIRGILS SMILE

"YOU'RE ALIVE"

"I LOVE YOU" ME TOO!! ME TOO ME TOO

"are you good?" "are you hurt at all?" I love when the sides look out for each other

"I'm sorry Logan" right through the heart. Another development.

I need y'all to look at Virgil in this exact second because. he.

that's my point.

All those smiles while Logan's talking are making me alive

"No seriously, you're ... really ... cool" I started tearing up right here. Twice. And then Logan sinks down cause he's not at all used to this and he's feeling t h i n g s please keep on being appreciated you deserve it

Also Patton always learning from his mistakes and understanding them when he does something wrong or he thinks in the wrong direction, that's something I think a lot of people need to learn, including myself. Like, it's okay to be wrong and make mistakes, just do your best to make sure you're improving yourself afterwards, instead of dwelling on it too much

"I don't like him" makes two of us

"Soooo you have a brother?" oh boy

The m i r r o r it's making me cry

"He's gone now and he's never coming back!" "I don't think that's-" "BYEE" what was all that talk about repression for if you contiNUE TO DO THIS ROMAN please I beg of you let us hELP YOU he's making me die inside

Oh boi the big moment. I already expected a bomb to drop since Virgil was the last one remaining.

"You okay buddy?" "Huh?" op somehow was already found crying

"I'm a little disappointed in myself" istg all that foreshadowing mixed with me wanting to hug him

The music picking up tension, this is poetic cinema let me tell you

I noticed how he calls them "the others", all these tiny details is what I'm living for

"I should know better" I couldn't beLIEVE IT, also how he seemed to be so frustrated made something inside me break

the pause and then "Because I was one of them", the music stops for a second, a little second in which you can hear my distant screaming "GOSH HE SAID IT IT WAS TRUE"

Thomas is speechless and just stares at him while the music picks up again and then Virgil's sigh and expression sinking down like "there you have it. that's the truth. and you can't do anything about it" he looks so defeated I'm breaking down.

Did I already mention poetic cinema? I just love angst and this scene was perfect

First time watching I, too, barely understood anything I was listening to in the last parte because all of that was really a lot to take in.

"Those thoughts that you may have thought do not define you"

"[the thought] may simply be that we are really okay"

"Go to bed!" me

no im not in the mood for food because for some unfathomable reason I had anxiety before the video dropped yay me

WHY ARE U DRINKING RED WINE WITH THAT DISH

GAVIN BEST BOY EVER

and last but not least: are you fucking serious Remus

THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BUTT FANDFKJL

I didn't expect this topic at all and I am so glad it was talked about, thankfully my intrusive thoughts do not bother me as much as I realized other people's do. And I never saw anyone talking about this before, which is why it makes this video so important. I saw a tweet recently about someone saying that it is okay if you think about weird things, the important is that you never act on them, that's what makes you a good person. But I think this video really explains it far better and I never realized how common something like this was? So yeah another time in which I've been educated and couldn't be happier about it. These people really are bringing light to the world gah I LOVE THEM.

oKAY guess I'm done this was a wild ride and yeah I tend to point out EVERYTHING, so here you have it, as I already mentioned if you feel the need to geek out too, I'm here for ANYBODY! (pls I have no friends)

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stateofgrace-acoustic · 5 years

Text

lover - first song ranking & thoughts

first of all i just need to say i legitimately don’t feel ‘meh’ about a single song on this album. on any other album. i always had one or two songs i was just kind of ‘take it or leave it’ about. but Lover really did that - they’re all amazing and wonderful. but here’s an attempt at an order of how much i love them!

18. it’s nice to have a friend

this really reminds me of you are in love in the way it recounts all the small gestures and steps involved in becoming close to somebody. it’s really cute and at the perfect space on the album, leading to daylight. not a mindblowing song or anything, but the vibe fits onto lover really well. i’m glad that it’s here

17. you need to calm down

yeah, i cooled down on this one a little bit. it’s fun and the message is important, but me! is the better single tbh. still though, the feeling of empowerment this gives me over my nonexistent online haters is wonderful. and i love the attitude of the song of just looking at the assholes who live their entire lives putting energy into hating people and just being like....why are you like this. it’s pathetic. calm the hell down. so needed in our current debate culture

16. me!

a real grower! taylor and brendon urie have such good chemistry, tbh that’s really the backbone of the song. it’s just a really nice carefree spring/summertime self love song, a perfect soundtrack for when you feel happy and content with yourself.

15. the man

just dropping the complete truth on us with this one. i’ve wanted taylor to make this song for years (and i know she said she’s been wanting to but just never found the right words!) the bridge really elevates this too. and it’s sad how relatable the entire song is in literally every aspect of professional (and personal) life for women. i don’t think it’s quite as strong as it could have been, but still really solid

14. i think he knows

this is like the fun version of dress. that’s all i got to say. just as explicit, but this time around it’s super cheeky and i love it. also goals of self confidence if i’ve ever seen them

13. paper rings

the joyful energy this has!! just makes you smile and want to dance immediately, a wonderful wholesome happy bop

12. false god

listen.....this is special. i absolutely think this is the most experimental song on the album, both in terms of the music (is that a saxophone in the bg?? it’s almost got a jazzy vibe? completely uncomparable to anything she’s ever done and still so distinctly Taylor), but also with the lyrics, where she goes into the love = religion theme which honestly....as a Florence + the Machine and Hozier fan, i don’t even need to go into how much of a vibe that is. I couldn’t have imagined it working so well for Taylor though, but honestly, this song feels perfectly brooding, summertimey, melancholy, - it’s almost like taking the darker underside of Cruel Summer and exploring it in depth! this is very much a song i need to be in a Specific Mood to really appreciate, but it’s damn well made

11. afterglow

i love the maturity of this. not just the apologizing for picking a fight, but explaining how it came to be - at the end, from a place deep seated anxiety. ‘it’s all me, in my head’ (those high notes are beautiful) you can really feel how sorry she is. at the same time, the song sounds like something bigger, like an anthem - almost like that place high above that she’s trying to elevate them to.

10. i forgot that you existed

SO MUCH FUN i keep repeating that but that’s just the mood of this album tbh, playful and mature at the same time. this song is just like, when you’re over someone but you just can’t help yourself and have to throw shade one last time before moving on. i love the bouncy beat!!

9. lover

this song is literally the feeling of ‘home’ in music. so cozy, comfortable, blissful. dreamy. perfect title track. also completely timeless - i think this is one of those songs that we will look back on in years as a classic in her catalogue, a song you will always want to play again

8. the archer

this was my definite favorite of the pre released songs. anxiety, doubts, the way they all just keep coming back and eating at you, it’s described so perfectly and painfully. and the production really makes it sound like you’re in a separate space from reality, just stuck in your head trying to find a way forward, to soothe yourself. the ‘they see right through me / i see right through me’ transition in the bridge is fantastic and keeps giving me chills. so much personal connection to this one

7. soon you’ll get better

feels weird to even rank this but......just wow. the harmonies with the dixie chicks are so beautiful, and the way the lyrics talk about the feeling between denial and desperate hope, the transition from “because you have to” to “because I have to” - I have to cling to this hope, or i won’t make i - it completely broke my heart. and the fact that Taylor can conjure all these complex emotions with just a guitar and a few words is incredible. i’m so so sorry for them and i wish all the best for Andrea with my entire heart.

6. london boy

i already see people underappreciating this, what is going on??? there are multiple cute bouncy joyful songs on this album but this is my favorite because it’s just got a fantastic flow and melody, and i love all of the references to places and dialect specific words and it’s just so wholesome?? but what really makes this is (once again) the bridge. stick with ME im your QUEEN like a tennessEE stella mccartNEY, just the energy!! the fun!! excuse me while i listen to this every day for the rest of my life

5. miss americana & the heartbreak prince

okay, taylor’s brain in this one. i made a post talking about how this song has three layers - at first there’s the high school setting, then it references the ‘cancelling’ of Taylor’s public persona, but then it can also be seen as a comment on US politics and the whole climate of society right now. and it’s all tied together perfectly because high school is the perfect metaphor for this!! she’s basically saying we’re all behaving like immature school children, bullying each other for the stupidest reasons, mob mentality, stupid contests, fabricated stories made up to tear people down, and the feeling of loneliness but also fear and horror that comes with all that for the people who are the victims of it.....it’s literally all like high school in the worst way. i just love this concept, and the melody and production give me a little bit of a reputation vibe almost? which is perfect for the song, the dark dramatic vibe shows the feeling of fear most of all and that’s just....too real.

4. death by a thousand cuts

........listen, i surely didn’t think that Taylor would write one of her best breakup songs in the year of our lord 2019, but here we are. it’s once again, the small moments she recounts. taking the long way home. the uncertainty if it will ever be fine again. and the bridge/second verse / whatever that part is but that entire part. ‘paper cuts from my paper thin plans’, excuse me. the fact that she wrote this about a movie where a couple breaks up after years really shows tbh, because it’s especially that kind of....not being able to find a part of yourself that isn’t influenced by the other person, that’s so horrible and makes moving on so painful. i also love the production which makes this sound so uptempo, contrasting the lyrics! idk the entire song just clicks into place for me

3. daylight

this is like a summary of the entire album (and with the reference to the past and especially red, it’s even connecting her entire discography together). it’s like the clean of this album, except this time around it feels more complex - all the subtle references to past mistakes, ghosts, that might not be so easy to wash away. i’ve already mentioned that i love about the album (and this song especially) how it doesn’t gloss over negative experiences but addresses them directly, like looking them in the eye and then saying ‘you don’t have the power to define me’. that’s what this song feels like - it’s not unabashedly celebratory, it’s actually quite melancholic, but also full of real healing, a feeling of peace and reconciliation. and the ‘i once believed love would be black and white / burning red, but it’s golden’.....excuse me.....how dare she

2. cornelia street

god, what a magical song. the kind of episodic buildup that Taylor excels at. the vibrancy of the production matching the vibrancy of the relationship as it develops, revolving around this one place in its multiple stages, and then the repeated, deep seated fear of losing all that. it’s just. ugh. what can i even say. and so so catchy. the “listen..” killed me. just like delicate, the vibe between fear and being drunk on happiness is so so well done.

1. cruel summer

oh yes. and here we have an absolute perfection of a pop song. incredible catchiness. smart, clever lyrics but also that underlying vibe of sadness and anxiety. seriously, the complexity this has?? and then that soaring bridge, the chaotic but beautiful but painful reality of all of it coming together. ‘i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’ idk this song just transcends everything for me friends. it’s like the vibe of out of the woods or maybe even style but the lyrics are even more sharp, they cut a little deeper, literally ‘summer’s a knife’. this is a song she only could’ve written influenced by reputation: there’s happiness but there’s that edge in it too. idk if anything i’m saying makes sense. i love this song so so so much.

#lover #taylor swift #vanessa talks #lowkey an album review lmao

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