#i know there’s gonna be so much stuff to cut and edit later

[thefearandnow]

NaNoWriMo word count: 11/5/23

3,719

#nanowrimo #whew I did it both weekend days #that was what I was most worried about #was losing my streak over the weekend #i actually think Wednesdays will be my break days #cause I’ve got so much work on Wed specifically #but anyway #I’m feeling pretty good about my progress this week #i know there’s gonna be so much stuff to cut and edit later #but it’s been fun!

[joelmillersmunch]

cruel summer (dbf!joel miller x chubby/curvy!f!reader)

Summary: After being away for five years, you've returned home for the summer. Joel doesn't expect to see you tonight. He doesn't mean to stare, really.

Ratings/Warnings: E. MDNI. NSFW. NO OUTBREAK. modern! au. dad's best friend! au. age gap (reader is 25, joel is in his 40s) curvy reader. reader's mother is awful. reader struggles with self image and insecurities. reader and joel flirt. reader gets touchy with joel. masturbation (m). joel can't stop staring at reader. I HOPE I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ANYTHING.

Word count: 2.2k

A/N: Soooo, I'm dabbling with the idea of making this into some kind of short series. Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy! Please ignore any grammar or typos. I didn't spend much timed editing. Ooooops.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. Joel knows he should be ashamed, gawking across the room at his best buddy’s kid. Except you weren’t a kid anymore. You weren’t the same 20 year old, sophomore-in-college girl he met when he moved across the street from your family five years ago. You were so much more now. A gorgeous grown version of the girl he had met only a handful of times before you left for the fall semester. 

You hadn’t been back since, having gone on some fantastic trips abroad over the summers to expand your studies. You graduated about a year ago with your bachelor’s degree and have been enjoying post grad life with your friends. You decided to come home for the summer, having been so long since you’ve been back to Austin. It’s been two weeks since then, and he only got a brief glance from his window when you pulled in, jumping out to embrace your parents. 

He had no idea you’d be here tonight. The crowded dive bar was Joel’s normal Friday night spot, usually accompanied by Tommy and some of their other crewmates. Joel had texted your dad an invite, completely forgetting about the fact you’d come back into town. Your dad walks in first, a huge grin on his face as he makes way to the table Joel is seated at.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I brought some company,” He says, stepping aside to reveal the fact you had joined him tonight. Joel’s breath catches when he sees you for the first time, covering it up with a fake cough. 

“Mr. Miller, so nice to see you again! It’s been so long!” You say brightly, reaching for an embrace. You feel so soft in his arms. Joel quickly tries to compose himself, but your voice entrances him. It’s so grown, so sexy. He can’t help himself from breathing your perfume in a little harder than he probably should have. Oranges and lime, the beach, summer, sunshine. It made him dizzy in the best way, a refreshing hug of aroma encasing him. 

“Hi, sweetie. Welcome home, nice to have you back.” He says, releasing you. You have a big, beautiful smile plastered on your lips and agree that it’s nice to be back. 

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” Your dad cuts in, turning to face you. Saying your name, he asks if you want to join him. “I know they don’t have the wine stuff you usually get, but any daughter of mine can drink a beer!” He finishes, teasingly wrapping his arm around your shoulders and leading you to the bar. Joel can hear you complaining to your dad, furiously telling your dad you know they wouldn’t have wine here. He laughs and turns back to his beer. 

So here he is, thirty minutes later, watching you from the bar. He’d offer to buy the next round after you very proudly proved to be your father’s daughter and downed your first beer like it was nothing. He watched you while he waited for the handful of beers as you hovered over the vintage looking jukebox. A wide grin spreads across your face when you find the song you were looking for, and a folky-banjo country song plays loudly from the speakers. Joel thanks the bartender after paying, and takes the tray of beers back to the table as you find your way back with him. 

“I can’t believe they have this song!” You exclaim, happily taking one of the beers from Joel and taking a big swig. Joel and your dad laugh at you and you look at them confused.

“It’s 2024 here too, sweetie. Don’t know why you’re so surprised. That jukebox is brand new, it just looks that way to fit in better here.” You dad says, chuckling with a shake of his head. You roll your eyes at him and take a seat next to Joel, across from your dad.  

“You know what? You can sit by yourself now, Dad. Joel here won’t be rude to me, now will ya, Joel?” You say, jokingly patting his arm as you lightly rest your head against his shoulder. Joel’s eyes go wide, and your dad breaks out in a bark of a laugh.

“Oh, yeah. Cause Joel’s such a big softie,” Your dad says, taking a swig of his beer. You laugh and release him, allowing Joel to finally breathe again. “When’s Tommy getting here, Joel?” Your dad asks.

“Oh, uh, didn’t plan on inviting ‘em tonight. Was gonna see if you wanted to go watch the game at my place after this, but..” He trails off, trying to politely hint to your dad that things are different now that you’re here. Not that Joel minds, but you probably don’t wanna go back to his place and hang out with two old dudes watching baseball all night. Joel accidentally catches your eye, and quickly looks away before you can catch on. 

“What? Before you knew that I was coming?” You ask with a light laugh. “I can watch baseball! But if you two don’t want me hanging around, I can just walk home. It’s not like I live across town.” You joke. 

“No, it’s not that!” Joel says, not wanting you to feel like a nuisance. “I just figured you didn’t want to hang out with these ol’ guys all night.” He finishes, giving your dad a friendly shove on his shoulder. 

“No, I don’t mind! But please tell me you have something better than this beer at your place?” You ask, an exaggerated pleading look on your face. Joel can’t help but laugh and offer you an apologetic smile. 

“Sorry, darlin’. Welcome home, I guess.” He says and the three of you make your way out of the bar. 

When the three of you arrive at Joel's place you’re already pretty tipsy. You’re laughing at a stupid joke your dad made as you stumble into the house. Joel rests a hand on your shoulder trying to steady you. You lean into his embrace and sigh out a thanks. 

“You okay, kiddo? You sure you don’t wanna head home? I can walk you over there and come back,” Your dad says, a concerned look on his face once Joel has you seated on the couch.

“I’m fiiiiine,” You say, waving him off. “Joel, could I have some water?”

“Of course, darlin’,” He says, rising from his chair. “I’ll grab it for you. Do you want anything while I’m up?” He finishes, looking at your dad who declines. He walks into the kitchen, leaving you and your dad alone in Joel’s living room. 

“Didn’t realize you were such a lightweight, honey,” Your dad says with a chuckle. 

“I’m not usually, but I don’t know…” You start, immediately sobering up at his remark. “Lately, I’ve been struggling with my self image. I think all the drinking has something to do with it.” You pause, looking at your dad’s shocked expression which causes you to scowl at him. “Oh, don’t act so surprised. Mom made sure to let me know that she noticed my weight gain.” You finish with an eye roll.

“She said that?” Your dad asks, a certain tone in his voice you didn’t recognize. 

“Yeah, when you brought my bags into the house for me when I first got back. I just figured she told you or you had noticed too,” You say, crossing your arms over your waist. 

“Honey, you know I think that you’re beautiful. You are just growing into your adult body. I can’t believe your mother would say something like that to you! I don’t know what her problem is lately..” He says trailing off. He coughs to cover up the tension when Joel reenters the living room, handing your dad a beer.

“You know me so well,” Your dad says, chipper as ever. 

Joel can’t help but overhear your conversation from the kitchen. It’s a small house, for christ's sake! But that doesn’t help make him feel any less guilty while he listens to your vulnerable conversation with your dad. He had to admit, he was a bit surprised at how drunk you got off just two beers, but he’s not one to judge. It all made sense now, and he can’t believe your own mother would say that to you. No one should speak that way to their own daughter, but especially to you. Joel always thought your mom was a bit insufferable, and now he knows he was right all along. 

He loves your figure. The way your jeans curved over your hips and ass. The softness to your cheeks and arms. He will dream about roaming his hands over your waist and legs tonight. For now, he has to interrupt this very personal conversation between a father and his daughter. His friend and his daughter. His friend’s daughter. Joel sighs, grabbing a beer and hoping he doesn’t embarrass anyone.

After about an hour and a glass of water later, you’re fully sober and mindlessly scrolling on your phone as your dad and Joel watch the game. Well, as Joel watches the game and your dad snores softly in the recliner. Joel is sitting next to you, his eyes never leaving the TV. At least, that’s what you thought. In reality, Joel can’t stop checking you out from the corner of his eye. The way you’d laugh at something on your phone and then bite your lip to suppress a smile when you realized you laughed a bit louder than you meant to. God, he needed a beer. 

“I’m gonna go grab another beer. Need anythin’?” He asks, standing up. The feeling of your warmth and smell of your perfume invading his head, intoxicating him. You look up at him and smile, shaking your head no. He nods and quickly leaves to the kitchen. He leans over the sink, hands on the counter and dropping his head. Breathing in and out, he tries to calm his fucking dick. The way you looked up at him, beautiful eyes burning with attention. He wanted to kiss you, leave your eyes wide in surprise. Fuck, this is a problem, AND his dick won’t get soft. He continues to calm his breathing when he feels a tap on his shoulder, his stomach dropping at the contact. He turns to face you, a worn out smile on his face. 

“Oh, you startled me, darlin’,” He says. You give him a coy smile, shaking your empty glass. 

“I realized I did need something.” You say, stepping closer so that your bodies are touching. Your fronts nearly rubbing as you lean over him, chest bumping against his arms as you turn the faucet on to get more water. He breathes in a sharp breath, your scent invading him again.

“Now, sweetheart…” He says as you move closer, standing so that one of your legs is in between his thighs, and the other on the opposite side of his leg. You were almost straddling him, sipping your water back. You cock an eyebrow at him, a trail of water sneaking past the cup and sliding down your chin. He closes his eyes and breathes out, feeling you move to rub against him. He opens his eyes to see you smirking back at him, finishing the rest of your water in a final drink. You lean back over him, chests bumping into each other. You place the glass in the sink, jumping when you feel him wrap his arms around you.

“Thank you, Mr. Miller. I feel so..refreshed now.” You say, lifting up to whisper in his ear. “But you want to know what else I need?”

He feels you grind into his leg, looking up to stare you in the eyes. You’re smirking at him, and he feels himself flush.  He’s so hard it feels like he won’t ever get soft again. You pat a hand over his cock through his jeans, a satisfied look on your face when he grunts at your touch. A loud snore from the living room snaps you and Joel back into reality, and about 6 inches away from each other. You look at him and laugh. 

“Maybe next time?” You ask, and leave him in the kitchen. He needs to come, now. He plans to make a phony excuse to you to go to the bathroom when he enters the living room, just to see you raising your dad from his slumber. 

“Sorry ‘bout that, Joel. Long day, I guess.” Your dad says, patting Joel on the shoulder as the two of you make your way out of the house. You turn to look back at Joel, a smile on your face.

 He watches as you enter your own house. He pretends to not notice for the first time that your room faces his own. He pretends that he can still feel your hips dip into his. He pretends that it’s your hands on his hardened cock, thumbing over the swollen tip. He pretends he can still smell your perfume on your neck as your chest rubbed against his forearm. He pretends he doesn’t like the way you called him “Mr. Miller.” He pretends you’re watching him from your window. He pretends he can feel your eyes scanning over him as he thrusts into his fist. He pretends it’s your mouth. He pretends to see your shocked expression, eyes wide as he comes. He pretends it’s all over your face. With a groan, he grabs a rag and cleans himself up. So much for pretending.

A/N: dividers by @saradika-graphics thanks so much!!

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader fic #joel miller x reader smut #joel miller series #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us #the last of us fic #the last of us hbo #pedro pascal #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fic #dbf!joel #the last of us au #tlou #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #tlou smut #joel miller tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller fic #joel miller the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #hbo joel miller #pedro pascal joel miller #pedro joel miller

[hauntedrain]

New Year, New me | Charles Leclerc x fem! reader | 

Summary: Charles cares about your opinions, even when it comes down to a new haircut. 

A/N: so of course this is about his new haircut, and personally I like it <3 so I based a lil something off of it. Also this is badly written cuz I was half asleep writing it but I hope you like it.

Warnings: the normal; not edited, really short, more of a Drabble tbh (500 words).

 He was scared—most definitely scared. He liked the haircut—a new change for the off-season—but nonetheless, he was scared. He didn’t tell you about his plans for his haircut; he didn't even bring it up that he’s going to get one. So on his way back to the apartment, he was stressed. Would you like it? Hate it? wish it was different?

He knows you would never downright say you hated it, disliked it, or even commented on it if he enjoyed it. But he wanted your opinion; he knew how much you liked his hair before, and he’s seen a lot of stuff on social media about people's significant others getting a haircut and not liking it or them the same as before. So now that he was walking to the apartment he was preparing for the worst. 

    “Ma chérie, are you there?” He called out while closing the front door and facing an empty entryway and living space.

  “I'm over in the room, Char!” You called out.

    He put down the few small bags he had in his hand along with his keys as he walked over to your shared bedroom. He didn’t initially see you as he walked into the bedroom, but once he noticed the lights on in the bathroom and the slightly open door, he found where you were. He moved over and slowly opened the door, and he was met with you putting on what he assumes is a form of lipgloss or lipstick. You didn’t immediately notice him as you were too focused on your makeup; however, once you did, you turned around and hugged him, not noticing immediately the major change he made to his hair. He nuzzled into your neck and shoulder while returning the hug. You guys stayed like that for a bit until he pulled back a bit, looking down at you.

    "Oh my god, you cut your hair!” You said this while looking up at him and finally noticing it. You ran your hands through the top part of it that was still fluffy while smiling a goofy but surprised smile.

 “Yeah, do you like it?” He asked sheepishly while holding you.

    “It’s pretty cute, you didn’t tell me you were gonna cut it. Was it a spring of the moment type thing?” You asked pulling him over to sit on the bed while you stand in front of him.

“I mean yeah, kinda. I wanted something new for the new year.” 

    “You took ‘new year, new me' seriously huh?” You said smiling at him while running your hands through his hair again. “It’s pretty though.” 

“Thank you, ma chérie. I was worried you wouldn’t like it.” He said messing with the bracelets he was wearing. “But I’m glad you do. Now we just have to see what the fans think of it.” 

“Bet they’ll like it, for the most part.” You said slightly laughing while going back to get ready for the event later that evening. 

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc imagine #drabble #formula 1 #formula one fanfiction #formula one x reader #formula one x you #f1 fandom #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 #short fanfic #one shot #fluff

[vxnuslogy]

— lost to time ft. sae itoshi

— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?

— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

-

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!

……

is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums. 

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself. 

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

-

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.

……

you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

……

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently? 

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

-

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible. 

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

-

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

……

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

……

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

……

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

-

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!

……

sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends.  thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile. 

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own. 

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end. 

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go. 

and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

#✒️ — works #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae x you #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x you #sae itoshi x y/n #itoshi sae x y/n #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x reader #bllk x you #blue lock angst #bllk angst #sae itoshi angst

[speakergame]

Progress Update - 3/4/24

Hello and happy March!

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 😅 Well, I finally have some good news for you this time: I have some actual news!

I'm happy to be able to announce at last that an update is on its way! I’ve still got some assets to make and code cleanup and testing to finish, but I should finally have something to show you soon.

I’ll put a cut at the end of this and go into more detail about the what and why of what I’ve been working on during this long and unintended hiatus, but the tl;dr is that I hope to have an update out by the end of the month, and that said update will break any saves made in Chapter 4. Unfortunate, but unavoidable, since Chapter 4 had to be recoded from the beginning 😞

I just want to thank all of you once again for sticking with me through my extended silence! Especially to my patrons who’ve put up with me putting everything on pause month after month while I dealt with my real life shit, and to everyone who’s sent me kind and supportive messages to let me know Speaker hasn’t been forgotten. It really means a lot to me.

Okay, enough of that sappy shit! I’m gonna get back to work finishing this up 😁 I’ll put out another update later this month once I have a more definite release date.

Thank you all for reading! I hope you’re having a fantastic 2024 so far, and that the rest of the week treats you kindly. See y’all soon! 💙💙💙

(For those who want a more detailed breakdown on what’s been happening and what to expect, hit the readmore)

I won’t go into the personal life stuff I’ve been dealing with this past year that has slowed down my work, but as far as the actual game goes: 

To put it simply, I just wasn’t happy with it. Some of it could be because of how many times I had to reread the same section while I was coding the scenes that would’ve taken place after the last update, but no matter how much I edited or rearranged it, I didn’t like how that scene turned out. There was something… formulaic that had been happening with the way I always laid out scenes, and a bit of stagnation in the story, character, and relationship development that bothered me.

So I rewrote it. And when I still didn’t like it, I rewrote it again. And I still didn’t like it. I thought about scrapping the whole thing on more than one occasion as I struggled to get out of the corner I’d written myself into.

Inspiration finally struck at the beginning of this year, thanks in part to another interactive novel I follow, and I really like the direction I’ve taken it now. 

Instead of the RO split scenes happening where the last one left off, Speaker, Seer, and Gavin are gonna have a chat about Things™ to move the next story arc forward. Then Speaker will get some downtime, by themself at first and then in an extended scene split with the RO of their choosing. 

All the Big Plot Things that were going to happen in Chapter 4 will be moved to Chapter 5 instead, and 4 will be a bit more of a filler episode. A deep breath before the plunge, as it were.

This split won’t just be a quick conversation/reaction from the RO, but a full on different direction for the rest of the chapter based on who you choose. Most of them will involve leaving the house; all of them will involve actual one-on-one time (or one-on-two time, as the case may be) away from the others. And though romance isn’t required, all of them will have the potential to really move the romance forward if you so choose. One or two might even have a lock-in choice (maybe. I’m not 100 percent on that, so don’t hold me to it) 

These scenes won’t be in the next update, because they’re all very complex, but the update will definitely have the Seer chat and at least some of the by-yourself stuff. The update after will have the rest of the alone time stuff (including the clothes/body CC you’ve all been waiting for), and then the one after will start the RO scenes. I think.

I may actually split the RO scenes into separate updates, and let my darlings over at Patreon vote for the order they’re released. That way I can focus on one at a time instead of trying to split my attention six ways at once.

Okay, that’s enough rambling for me today. Time to get back to work! Still got a lot to get done before this is ready, but it’s so close now.

#speaker game #progress update #so happy to finally have some progress to update about XD #maybe I can finally start answering some asks again too and fully resurrect this poor blog

[the-magnus-archives-wiki]

im here for things getting weird tbh :vc

Transcript below the cut

[Music]

Alex: Hello Everybody

Jonny: I'm Jonathan Sims, the writer and narrator of the Magnus Archives

Alex: Visionary Nightmare Merchant

Jonny: Visionary Nightmare Merchant, ooh I like that, I like that

Alex: and I'm Alexander J Newall, I am the founder and CEO of Rusty Quill Ltd and for magnus I was the co-creator with Jonny, alongside director and producer. Why are we here today?

Jonny: Oh, cuz we're doing it AGAIN!

Alex: yeah!! I know! Everyones like "Oh I maybe - maybe theyre doing like a little halloween special? NO!

Jonny: Magnus. Archives. Two. Not that Actual Title

Alex: We wont - no. There's a better title

Jonny: I'm really.. I'm not done  

Alex: Your not done. Don't tell them the title.

[Beep]

Alex: We need to tell you a bit more about it Like, whats going on? okay. So In order to do this, we are looking at doing a Kickstarter

Jonny: Kick. Starter.

Alex: to start the kicking. Um, and that basically means that We are going to be doing a pre-signup, Which is going to be available on the 30th of October, this year If you head to kickstarter.com/projects/the-magnus-archives2/the-magnus-archives-2 On the 30th You'll be able to pre-sign, and that means that you will get alerted when the kickstarter is live and that means you will be the first to get in there for early bird goodies and things like that where you will only get it if you are getting there right out of the gate But, we are trying to get this going  with a BIG kickstarter So that we can do THREE seasons. Three full seasons!

Jonny: Three seasons. It is going to be canon. It is going to be a continuation of the Magnus Archives universe But not necessarily in the way you would expect.

Alex: Its gonna get weird. Its gonna get really weird.

Jonny: its gonna get real weird.

Alex: So, we're also going to be selling limited edition merch

Jonny: limited edition merch! that was it!

Alex: So the limited edition merch is only going to be available for basically the period we are going this kickstarter, and these are designs that are going to disappear You will never be able to get them again. ever.

Jonny: Cuz if you try, i'll come round and burn them.

Alex: He'll come and burn it. In order to get ahold of those probably, you'll want to go to www.rustyquill.com and there will be more info there, but its pretty much going to be available anywhere that you can buy our designs so your looking at you know, redbubble, and tee public, things like that

Jonny: Can I get a mug?

Alex: yes.

Jonny: Can I get a t-shirt?

Alex: I believe so, yes.

Jonny: Can I get, your face as a cat scratching post?

Alex: Uh yes, but you will have to pay SIGNIFICANTLY more thats going to be a custom item and we will talk more on that later

Jonny: Oh no, I was inviting you over.

Alex: aww

Jonny: just to hang out...

Alex: aw shnookums!

[laugh]

[beep]

Alex: Why now? Its ben a while, we could have done it immediately but we didnt, why?

Jonny: I mean... cuz i fucking love magnus and i want to do some more of it

Alex: right? I kind of miss it.

Jonny: its been, since it finished, a lot of stuffs been just... percolating, and...

Alex: yeah.

Jonny: we were talking and we were like should we just? should we do? do you wanna just to a bit more?

Alex: we should do it. Yes, we are going to do, or we are AIMING to do I should say a three season epic is a strong word. life changing event?

Jonny: yeah? yeah.

Alex: we are looking at a larger number of guests we are looking at going big from the start we have learnt a lot of lessons during magnus 1 and we want to hit the ground running

Jonny: Lesson 1: Trust no one.

Alex: [laugh] okay. cool i feel like-

Jonny: Lesson 2: Plan your exit, on the way in.

Alex: I feel like we are honing back in to season 2 there so maybe steer us away from that... But yea we are -

Jonny: Lesson 3: dont listen to Alex. he's already compromised.

Alex: stop compromising all of the fandom with your MENTALITY

[beep]

Alex: in order to take part, to reiterate on very last time. If you head to kickstarter.com/projects/the-magnus-archives2/the-magnus-archives-2 You can get on there for the pre-sign from the 30th of october and then youll get more info or you can get all of the limited edition merch that WILL DISAPPEAR and for more info on that, go to RustyQuill.com

Jonny: The day before halloween. Halloween? Scary. before all hallows? its before all hallows... and so this is halloween-ee-een its Halloween squared baby. its even scarier

Alex: [snicker] thanks jonny.

[laugh]

Jonny: thats what I'm here for.

Alex: Bye everyone!

Jonny: Bye!

#the magnus archives #tma #also kinda unsettled by how much jonny looks like my ex in the video #bbut hmm i just like the sound of weird

[tteokdoroki]

— thirst tweets + katsuki bakugou.

hey so your husband bakugou does buzzfeeds thirst tweet interview and uncovers something hilarious from your old fan account. kinda crack? mostly fluff and a little suggestive !! hence MDNI 18+.

like say he’s on some promotional tour abroad, he’s bee invited to some fashion week or something and they decide to invite him on since fans have been hounding for katsuki do it it for years— so he finally agrees to do it.

it’s early morning when they film, the earliest they could get him in to shoot the video before whatever other promos he has to do on his schedule so katsuki is only half awake and dressed as comfortably as can be. his hair sticks to his forehead, grey hoodie pulled over his head and a coffee in one hand even though he hates the taste but he wants some fucking energy for hell his fans want him to endure.

“let’s get this fuckin’ thing over with shall we?” bakugou grunts as the camera starts rolling, taking a long exaggerated sip of his drink as if to mentally prepare. “the name’s katsuki bakugou ‘n i’m reading your thirst tweets. whores— do i get fuckin’ therapy after this?”

the tweets mostly start off tame, a few comments about how cute bakugou is when he laughs, how his admirers would give up their whole lives for him. the typical stuff in which the pro hero only responds with. “lame. where’s the good shit, i wanna see how nasty you lot can be.” he laughs, ruby eyes drifting over more of the screenshots production had lined him up with. “pro heroes don’t deserve to be sexualised but i want you all to know i’d let pro hero dynamight with a mullet tear my shit up.” he reads the next one with a smirk, pulling back his hood to toy with his growing blonde locks. “should i be growin’ my shit back?”

from here, things start to get progressively worse— bakugou putting the phone down from time to time so he can through his head back in deep laughter, mumbling things like ‘this is so fucked up!’ ‘nah, these guys are fuckin’ nasty.’ ‘can somebody get this on a t-shirt?’ and he’s absolutely having the time of his life filming and reading out his fans’ dirty tweets.

“i’d like to thank whatever god let me be alive at the same time as katsuki bakugou,” he repeats the next tweet out loud, spreading his thighs to sit back in his seat. “i’m your god. ya should be thankin’ me.” the next tweet makes his brows furrow. “i would plaster my bussy on the sidewalk for dynamight— what’s a bussy?”

a few more roll by and the video is almost over but katsuki bakugou damn near loses his mind at the grande finale. “‘if i ever get the chance, i’m gonna make sure that katsuki bakugou, pro hero, aged twenty three, gets the most toe curling, life threatening heart stopping head and then I’ll let him sit on my face with that fat ass of his until i can no longer breathe.” bakugou’s face turns bright red, a snort tearing though his throat as he reads the handle ‘bakugouscumdumpster01’ and then the name of the handler too. “holy fuckin’ shit…where did you guys find this? do you know who this is? this is my wife’s account.”

he would recognise your name anywhere, the way you type and text is still the same as it was five years ago before he met you and gave you the bakugou name. the tweets on the rest of your account are funny, lusting after other pro heroes but most are dedicated to your husband katsuki. the blonde knows the editors will have to cut all of this footage out later but he can’t help but scroll through your tweets and replies under his old tweets from earlier on in his hero career— mentions of how proud you are of him, how much you love him.

and five years later nothing has really changed. you still adore him all the same.

“‘m gonna call her, just you wait. this’ll make good fuckin’ television.” katsuki wonders how much of his cursing they’ll have to censor out when it comes down to editing as he taps your number, smiling when your face flashes up during the dial tone until you pick up.

“hi baby, aren’t you shooting right now?”

your voice fills his heart with joy, beating loud in his chest he’s afraid the cameras might pick up the sound. “i am baby, missed ya though.” there’s a smile on that heart, big and proud when you giggle through the phone and tell him you missed him too— asking him what he needs, if he’s okay, caring about him tenderly in your special way. he hates to ruin it— by reading out the most dirty, disgusting thing you’ve ever said. katsuki repeats your tweet word for word, listening to how you go silent the more he talks. “so does this coupon expire…or?”

you whine, and bakugou knows if you were you would be slapping his chest right now even though you both know he can’t feel it through his big tits (you’ve also tweeted this). “kats! t-that was before i met you!” you squeal, voice trembling with embarrassment— sending his heart into overdrive. you’re so sweet you could give him a toothache. “ohmygod, it’s gonna be in the video. i’m gonna scream, i’m gonna—“

“you sure you’ll be able to do that while yer givin’ me life threatenin’ head, baby?” dynamight rasps, angling the phone at the camera. they might have to cut this too, but he doesn’t care, still being able to fluster his wife is his favourite thing. “c’mon sweets, for the camera?”

you’re quiet for a moment, probably still sulking that your old thirsts for your husband are being uncovered for his amusement. “i’ll give you more than just life-threatening head, kats. just wait until you get home.” you purr through the speaker, voice dropping an octave and katsuki can practically see the way you would look up at him, through your lashes, lips between your teeth. god, he could die. “love you honey.”

and with that, you end the call— the tone ringing out through the set, leaving a flustered bakugou in your wake in front of bright lights and rolling cameras. “i think that’s a wrap?” one of the producers says, snapping dynamight from his thirsty, thirsty thoughts.

“uh…yeah, ‘m katsuki bakugou ‘n this has been reading your thirst tweets.” bakugou grunts bashfully, with a soft smirk on his face, only imagining what nasty acts you’re going to do when he’s done with promotions.

#tteokdoroki #bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou fluff #bakugou drabble #bakugou imagine #bnha fluff #bnha x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #🗑. aali’s chatroom

[venomroses]

Zones Fashion

Obviously we all know how killjoys dress, but not everyone in the desert is a killjoy. So here's my headcanons about how non-killjoys in the desert dress. Below the cut because this is gonna get long:

Note: Edited this so rb this version please!

These forms of dress are specific to smaller, more isolated groups where people are usually at least 1st gen zoneborn, and doesn't apply to neutral towns, killjoys, those who follow more traditional city styles, etc. Also I know I said I was going to do drawings for this and I might add those later but for now just text bc the drawings aren't coming out how I like.

Younger kids (2-7):

Both girls and boys have long hair because protects them from the sun without trying to get them to keep hats or hoods on since kids can be difficult about the required amount of clothes, let alone additional stuff. It can also be hard to find children's sized clothes, so many guardians don't bother with "unnecessary" items. Hair is usually kept long enough to tie out of their face because kids also make lots of messes, but sometimes hair will be a bit shorter (usually for boys).

Younger siblings will rarely have anything that isn't a hand-me-down, so if you have an older sibling of the opposite gender then you're probably going to be dressing like the opposite gender for most of your childhood. This is rarely an issue since gender doesn't usually have the same relevance as it does in the real world.

Long skirts are common regardless of gender because they keep the legs covered to protect from sunburn. Also, you can grow significantly before an ankle-length skirt becomes too short, unlike pants where you just have to get new ones when you outgrow them. When skirts get short enough to start exposing a lot of skin, extra fabric can be sewn on, or leggings can be worn underneath. Wraparound skirts are preferred because you don't have to adjust the waist at all when the kid grows, so you don't have to worry about buying/making new clothes all the time. However, other types of skirts work just as well.

A lot of younger kids get homemade shoes. They don't need to be great quality, they just need to keep the kid from burning their feet. Once a kid is old enough to begin helping with the family business (if there is one), go on trips with their guardians, etc. they get real shoes since it becomes more important once they're working or away from home for longer periods.

Then older kids (8-12):

At this age kids are old enough to want to have more freedom of expression so styles vary a bit more.

Since they're mostly still wearing kids sized clothes which are harder to find in the Zones and outgrowing things quickly, hair is still usually kept long to protect them from the sun in place of a hat or a hood that would either be too big or outgrown too quickly to justify buying it. However, sometimes they'll get their hair cut short, especially boys. Regardless of length, there's more variations in hairstyles, since it's a form of expression that doesn't cost any money.

Skirts often come above the knees in the front for more mobility/range of motion. Kids this age are old enough to help with work or chores, so it's easier if they don't have to worry about the restrictions long skirts can bring. At this age skirts are less about practicality. Long skirts are seen as a more childish style as the main point of them is to let kids grow without needing to buy tons of new clothes all the time, and skirts of any length can be impractical. Some guardians don't see the point of the skirt if the kid is just going to be wearing pants underneath anyway and the kid transitions into just wearing pants. For those who do keep wearing it, it makes their ages and allegiances clear. Since "adulthood" is pretty much "whenever you look like an adult" or "whenever you can do the same work as an adult" it makes it clear that this is a child, and that they're not a killjoy (since some killjoys can be this young).

Again, kids this age usually aren't working actual jobs yet, so sandals are more common than closed-toe shoes that might be required for a more dangerous job. Sandals are preferred over closed-toe shoes since they take less supplies to make so they're cheaper. These sandals might be homemade or might be made more professionally.

Younger teenagers (13-15):

This is the age where you'll see a lot of actual variation in style. First short haircuts are common at this age. Some kids might have a job, so hair length is usually depending on the job they have instead of gender. A job where they're often inside or where long hair would get in the way? Short haircut. A job where they're often outside? Long hair. Of course, some people will still pick a style they like over practicality, but looks over practicality is a very killjoy-esque mentality that most of the desert does not follow.

Outfits vary a lot, again based on what's practical for work, but it's common for their clothes to be a bit oversized, since they're usually still on the smaller end even if they are wearing adult sizes by now.

Some kids still wear skirts to indicate their age if their guardians feel that they're not ready to be seen as an adult, but many wear pants only.

Most kids have close-toed shoes now, but again they might be a bit too big. Rags can be stuffed in the toes until they fit properly.

Older teenagers (16-19):

Can pretty much look like anything! Just like for younger teenagers, haircuts and forms of dress are more specific to what you're doing, since most people have some sort of job at this age. Skirts are not worn anymore.

Jobs often work like trades, where you learn to do something and make that your career, instead of switching between them a lot. A lot of jobs are making necessities like clothes, candles, and food, or services like doctors/nurses, messengers, etc. Sometimes certain professions go together, like gunsmiths (who can make or fix guns) will work with artists for killjoys or anyone who'd rather have someone else paint their raygun for them. Markets are a great place to sell their wares so a lot of vendors there are going to be people like this.

If you're interested in other types of people in the Zones/time periods and how they dress send me an ask or something bc worldbuilding my beloved <3

#danger days #the zones

[compacflt]

pre-publishing notes for extras part one (coming tomorrow i pray 🙏🏽 if not tmr than next saturday 🥺) for those interested

i am incredibly busy this wk so the final final edit of my fics isn’t gonna come till later, like next Wednesday or the weds after that or something.

but do not worry i am not changing anything major, unlike in previous edits. It’s just fixing little stuff (hyphenation, some grammar, places where AO3 fucked my italics, changing “chief naval officer” to chief of naval operations [i literally have no clue how that error happened as i got it right in some places and wrong in a bunch of other places like wtaf], removing brand names that show idk what the fuck im talking about, etc.). The most substantial edit is I’m adding one sentence to the slider one-shot where ice tries to convince slider that he and maverick are only tying the knot for financial purposes, and “so the govt doesn’t fuck one of us when the other dies for real.” that sentence was in my original draft and idk why it got removed.

i will not be editing the hangman one shot (besides fixing the proposal date), the airplane one shot, or the wingmen one shot because i do not really care for them and they have been overwritten by other sections of my fics. the bradley one shot is also pretty much going untouched

ONTO THE EXTRAS. Unlike some of my other fics which are M-rated & therefore kind of implicit, these extras are a littol bit edgy & explicit. Not beating around the bush anymore. I am warning for possible triggers, mostly related to disordered eating and, like, a BUNCH of casual suicidal ideation/discussion of suicide. Also it’s E-rated.

however that isn’t to say it’s not mostly fluff lol. there’s SOME sex but u know me.. it is sex as symbol not sex as sex... (You know what they say, $20 is $20 and writing practice is writing practice) I wanted to expand the scope of my original fics—more politics, more complications, more backstory, so that’s mostly what it is. Not everything revolves around goose anymore. It’s also about the rest of the world

parts of it will also obviously just be me dicking around, a disclaimer

not every scene that I’ve posted in a wip wednesday made the cut. I got rid of a bunch of them that were boring/repetitive. (so, my apologies to the anon who told me they liked the sickfic excerpt, for instance—the one where mav sprains his wrist is basically the same thing, we don’t really need to rehash the “taking care of each other” motif twice)

prolly download these somewhere else because it really is just 70k of a wall of text with no chapter breaks and we all know how ao3 is

thanks for reading! as always! ❤️❤️almost at the finish line here! part 2 (post TGM mission) hopefully next Saturday :)))

#idk what to tag this if anything. #edts notes #? #im praying i can get these done by midday tmr but if i can’t … im gonna have to postpone till next Saturday 😕😕😕😕 #i simply refuse to post 70k on a weekday. #i will let you know if that is the case 😭😭😭 i hope not!!!! but. life is getting in the way topgunbros #averaging 2 hrs of sleep over the last five days #pro tip do not schedule editing 300k+ words & finishing 70k of scenes the same week as all of ur midterms

[bunnakit]

last twilight e3 thoughts feelings etc

so in the past ive watched the episodes and digested them and come back and rewatched to put together my thoughts but im kinda crunched for time today and have a mountain of work to do sooo i'm just gonna do this in one sitting and i'm so sorry if it's not as good or as coherent as what i usually deliver aaa. it's also going to be a bit longer than normal probably but i'll try to cut down on stuff that seems unnecessary or maybe just too obvious to comment on.

OH ITS STILL REALLY LONG EVEN WITH EDITING I'M SO SORRY.

oh them being playful with each other is everything to me. oh my god and Mhok learned, he listened to Porjai and he learned to organize and clean and do things with Day as an active participant so he knows where everything is and is taking control of his own life. oh we're only 3 minutes in and i'm emotional, okay.

i do love that we get to see the way Day has isolated himself and that while his family haven't helped there's also a large part of it that is his doing. ive said it before but when you're newly disabled it can be so so easy to isolate yourself. hell, i've been diagnosed for almost 10 years and i still do it from time to time as my condition worsens because it's hard. there are so many questions you have to answer, there's the anxiety of not knowing if people are going to be accommodating to your needs, and sometimes it takes twice or even three times the energy it used to take before because every action is a little harder now. it can be terrifying to put yourself out there again and you will lose friends in the process. there will be people that don't understand, that find you to be an inconvenience, that won't make accommodations for you, and it will hurt every time but saying goodbye to those people is always ultimately for the better - but it doesn't make it hurt less. as much as i'd love the realism of it, i hope we don't have to see Day go through that.

Day's story about his friend is interesting, too. he says he doesn't want to be pitied by his friends but the thing is. they just did that, they accommodated their friend, and from the sound of it they did it without judgement. so why couldn't it be the same for him? it just shows more of his anxiety and his fear.

"once i'm ready you'll be the first to get my invitation card." Porjai and Mhok's friendship means so so fucking much to me.

"i felt like my life was worthless. all i saw in people's eyes was insult."

screaming. crying. throwing up. i don't need to say anything about this but i thought you all should know it made me ill.

here's the thing, my best friend and i dated in high school, we were 16 and fucking stupid and toxic and our home lives were shit and we took it out on each other and we made each other fucking miserable by the end of things. we didn't talk again for over five years. it took time to come back together, to heal and accept our own faults in what went wrong. we stumbled here and there as we came back together but now? almost 10 years later i don't know what i'd do without him. that's my platonic soulmate, that's the one person besides my husband i can share anything with. fuck, he knows more about my life than my husband does because he was there to see me at my worst, at the scariest point in my life where i almost wasn't around anymore to see tomorrow. that kind of friendship is so fucking special, i cannot even properly put it into words, and for Mhok to keep that? to have that with Porjai? i'm so fucking glad he has that. i'm so glad he got to keep his platonic soulmate.

small aside, i love that Mhok consistently announces himself to Day. it's a little action but it's so considerate. he's honestly doing such an incredible job.

Day puts his sunglasses on like armor; like they can shield him from the judging stares or looks of pity he can't see. maybe someday he won't need them, not because his heart has hardened to take the blows, but maybe because he knows Mhok is by his side. because remember - it's the way they look at us.

"i heard you wanted to take time off and focus on badminton" Night i'm going to drown you in your own toilet. this is just furthering my thoughts from episode 2 that Night is ashamed of his brother and his condition, or perhaps that the family is trying to hide his condition for some fucking stupid reason.

the bravery it took Day to come here and admit whats happening to his is huge, but i'm also in love with the admissions admin saying sure, you can have time off, but you're not allowed to quit. you're not allowed to give up on yourself.

"we must live with hope, Day" and that's it. you have to. you just have to. every day is going to be so hard and so much, you'll have good and bad days, but at least in all those days you'll have hope. and maybe someday that hope won't be for new eyes. maybe that hope will turn into acceptance, into determination, into pride at what you've accomplished in spite of it all. in my opinion, hope is an amazing fuel but it's not sustainable, it's just a vehicle to get you to where you need to be.

Mhok asking a blind man for a tour, oh fuck fuck fuckfuckufkcufk-- Mhok essentially saying show me your world exactly as you remember it, let me in. see how things have changed and how they've remained the same and do it with me by your side.

THE WAY MHOK SHIELDS HIM AT THE LIBRARY. DAY DOESN'T NEED TO WEAR HIS SUNGLASSES LIKE ARMOR BECAUSE MHOK IS BY HIS SIDE AS HIS SHIELD. chewing my own arm off brb.

"and you also have me. nothing to be afraid of" because i will always shield you, i will always protect you, i will stand by your side AAAA--

on part 3/4 now, i promise i'll shut the fuck up soon. if you've read this far pls take this as a smooch checkpoint, i'm giving you a little forehead smooch. have you had any water today? taken your meds? relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw.

ok back to it - Mhok continuously having Day make his own selections in these various machines. Day's fate is in his hands, he can do these things himself, but Mhok will be there with him the whole way.

"my eyes don't work well but my legs do just fine." this is such a massive leap from the man that wouldn't even leave his bedroom, from the man that was suffocating in his environment. Day is no longer a dying man, a shambling corpse. he is an active participant in his own life again.

"stay close to me, that's all i need" bitch i'm gonna throw up, you can't just hit me with that after that's all i've been saying this whole time what the fuck.

OH FUCK ME. okay. alright. hang on. so when they enter the shop Mhok describes it to Day, explains where the jeans are, where the shirts are, asks him what to do and what he wants to take a look at. this is a direct antithesis of Night in episode 1 asking where Day was going to wait for him, where he could leave him so he could get his shit done. Day isn't being asked to wait, to just sit idle while life passes him by, he's being asked what he wants to do, where he wants to go, what he wants to see. FUUUUUCK. and knowing Mhok is doing this because Day expressed that he liked dressing nicely? how the fuck am i supposed to just go to my job like a normal person after this episode.

wow the shirt buttoning scene just made me so mentally ill. right now, Mhok is doing his job. he's helping Day get dressed. but someday? someday this could be Mhok dressing Day not because he needs him to help but simply because Mhok likes doing to for Day. there's the sensuality of caring for your partner, of running your hands over the planes of their shoulders, of skimming your fingers down their chest to pluck every button. it's an exploration and a declaration of love. if we get this again in a future scene and it's something like that please remember me fondly because i will perish.

at the bookstore Mhok recognizing Day doesn't want to wait, but Day has become so accustomed to the other people in his life telling him what to do that he falls back into that behavior - but Mhok doesn't let him. he prioritizes Day's needs and desires, even if it's something as little as finding a book, without being asked.

THE LAST PAGE IS MISSING.

(because one can't see his future and the other can't see in the future, but also because they'll make their own ending, they'll face that when they get there, but they'll do it together -- what if i lost my shit completely of it?)

when Mhok leaves Day to get him a drink the camera is focused on Day and the clear warring emotions on his face but if you look in the background Mhok hesitates, he stops and turns a few times to look at day. he's reluctant to leave him and worried. Mhok worries so much but it's always so understated or in the background, covered by the emotions of others he values above himself. (or overlooked because of 'what type of person he is')

while its anxiety inducing i do enjoy this regression of behavior because adapting to a new life is hard. you will regress, you will stumble, you will fall into old habits or sometimes old fears will return. its what you do after that that is important. the one thing i hope doesn't happen is i hope this doesn't cause a rift with Porjai. i think Mhok needs her right now, maybe not forever, but definitely right now.

HE PUT ON THE FUCKING SHIRT. THE FUCKING SHIRT DAY COULD SEE FROM MARS. OH MY GOD. i know this doesn't need to be commented on, i know it's obvious, but FUUUUCK.

Day's mom trying to weaponize Mhok's past and Mhok taking the ammunition from her hands and telling Day himself. the acceptance of the past and the determination to move on and grow from it. Day's refusal to let the past repeat itself with a new caretaker. whoo boy.

and again Day wants to see Mhok, because even bruised and battered Mhok is worth seeing.

if the last episode ends with "sweet dreams/good night" i will be burying myself alive, thanks.

tagging @benkaaoi and @callipigio as requested (if you want to be added to my last twilight meta tag list just let me know!)

THE PINK SHIRT RUINING HIS BAD BOY IMAGE BECAUSE IT IS BEING RUINED. HE'S MOVING ON, HE'S GROWING, HE'S BECOMING A NEW PERSON. FUCK OFF.

i'm so so sorry this was so long, every episode makes me feel more and more things and makes me analyze shit more and more.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #ltts meta #bunn meta #mhokday #morkday

[dnalt-d2]

SO QSMP PRISON, RIGHT???

Day 1 Edition lmao

To start off with, I'm really happy to hear my little theory about the Prison essentially being the safeguard for the Islanders against the Eye Workers was correct (Or at least seems to be so far)

But now for my thoughts on TODAY

THE FIRST DAY OF THIS FOUR THREE(?) DAY LONG EVENT (More on that later)

First off, who else thinks it's incredibly weird the Watcher was suddenly British?? He was DEFINITELY not British before, and unless this was just some unavoidable thing they had to do for just today, that probably means something

Specifically that this might not actually BE the Watcher. Or at least not the same Watcher. Even aside from the voice difference, the way he talked seemed to be a little different to me. I'm not sure what this could mean Lore-wise, or if it means anything at all, but I just really wanted to bring attention to it in case it was

Secondly, am I the only one who felt like today was just too…Casual? For lack of a better word. This didn't feel like some big thing the way Purgatory did. For better, in my opinion. But it's still strange that this feels so lackadaisical considering the circumstances. All the Islanders, and the Eggs are locked up, with the Federation keeping them under lock and key and being MORE THAN GENEROUS with the use of deadly force

(RIP BBH and IronMouse. RIP Over and over and over and over-)

Idk, the vibes here feel really weird to me, and I'm not sure what to make of that either. Like maybe someone's trying to downplay how serious this is all gonna be in the long run. It's hard to put into words

Though I will say they were very FUN vibes regardless. This was fucking hilarious and I enjoyed just about every second I saw of it. Short as it was (Poor BBH once again, having his time cut short. What will he even do for the other 20 hours of the day if he only gets this much time in the server? Certainly not sleep, I imagine lol)

There's also the mystery of that ghost (Cellbit) that's haunting the place, but again, Idk if this is a lore thing, or Cellbit wanting to get in on the action even though canonically, his character is off being insane on Purgatory. He might be kinda the same way Abueloier is most of the time, you know?? I feel like he's definitely gonna be related to any lore that happens, but at the same time, I'm not too sure I'd be surprised if that wasn't the case either

(Just to point out, I don't think Abueloier is related to the Lore. Roier just wanting to screw around, and frankly, power to him. Even IF Ratoier would've gone hella hard here. Fuckin rat in the prison robbing people at gunpoint would've been HILARIOUS and I really hope to see it before the event is done)

Though this kinda brings me back to my second point, that I'm actually having a hard time telling if stuff that's happening is Lore, or just players/admins screwing around or changing things for the sake of content or otherwise

Usually, I'm pretty good at discerning what is and isn't incidental, but here, I've said at least a few times now that idk what is and isn't lore. And I think that's kinda what's contributing to this whole thing feeling off to me. (Not in a bad way, I wanna reiterate. I'm having a hell of a lot of fun here)

So yeah, to wrap up my thoughts on this, Prison is fun so far, and I can't wait for the insanity to continue tomorrow

(And note: I do have one additional thing to say about this event as well, but I wanna put that in a separate post so I can make sure I've got all my thoughts together)

Now back to our own Purgatory of waiting for Day 2

#AND CAN I JUST SAY #THANK YOU FOR NOT MAKING ME THEORIZE LIKE CRAZY AGAIN #PURGATORY WAS MAKING ME CRAZY #I'M NOT A THEORIST #I LIKE TO TRY PREDICTING WHERE STORIES WILL GO #BUT DON'T MAKE ME DO PUZZLES PLEASE I BEG #Or at least give me the actual pieces this time lol #Cause I've been able to put SOME pieces together #But again #I NEEDED THE PIECES FIRST #FUCKIN CURSED TEAM NONSENSE #NO CURSED TEAM THEORY SUPERIORITY #qsmp #qsmp theory #qsmp analysis #I guess #Idk if this is really a theory #I'm saving that for later lol #qsmp prison

[cacodaemonia]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks so much for the tag, @lyntergalactic! :D I feel like I've done this before, but it must have been a whole ago. It looks fun! (also, I'm pasting just the questions at the bottom of the post if anyone wants to copy those)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 247, though I'm not really sure what the ratio is for images versus fics... Okay, apparently, 97 of them are tagged with 'fanart' and have fewer than 100 words, so somewhere around 100 image-only works and 147 fics.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,141,145; which includes a few collabs and fics for which I just contributed an image.

3. What fandoms do you write for? TCW exclusively 😅 Though I've done a handful of images for other things like Arcane, Dune, Trigun, The Expanse, House of the Dragon...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? A bunch of my works with the most kudos are images, but if we're talking fics, then I think it's just some of my oldest ones...

That’s Not How It Happened (This Is How It Happened) - Fives arc fix-it and my first fic.

Orbital Decay - Codywan that I haven't edited since I posted it, so I can't vouch for the quality.

Modulation - Another one I haven't touched since I posted it, but it's an 'Echo gets rescued much earlier than in canon and he and Fives reunite' fix-it of sorts.

Will You Walk With Me? - Waxer's pov from the start of the war to the (fix-it) end, and it mostly focuses on his and Boil's friendship (Waxer & Boil or Waxer/Boil pre-relationship - take your pick). Even though this certainly isn't the best thing I've written, it's my baby. 🧡

Interference - Umbara fix-it featuring minor canon characters and some necessary OCs in the first chapter, then more major canon characters later.

More stuff below the cut, since this is a long list...

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably You're Just Harder to See Than Most, which ends very sadly on its own, but it's part of a larger fix-it including Modulation above, so Fives and Echo get reunited.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Pfff like basically all of them, idk XD;

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, just on one sketch dump, where someone went through 6 chapters of spicy cloneshippy images and then decided they needed to complain about it being gross and immoral 🤣 It was hysterical kjlksahfg

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh yes, I'm a certified smut goblin. Not really sure what the question means by 'what kind,' but I guess 'porn with feelings' is probably the AO3 tag that would most accurately describe all of the smut I've written XD

10. Do you write crossovers? Nope.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes! :D

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Hm, I suppose if we're defining that as like, "what ship have you intensely shipped for the longest amount of time," it would be destiel? I was veeeeeery into that ship for many years.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I've had one wip sitting around for over a year, and for a while I was thinking I wasn't going to get back to it ever. But I made a little vibes playlist for it and had some help brainstorming, so I'm hopeful I can start tackling it again after I get some current stuff drafted.

16. What are your writing strengths? Starting something and working on it until it's finished.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I have a lot of trouble generating ideas on my own.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think it's fine as long as it's either A. very short and clear from context or B. for some reason, the writer is intending to confuse the reader and obfuscate what was said. I know I've said it before, but I'm not gonna scroll to the bottom of a fic every few paragraphs to find the translations for whole phrases or sentences. If the amount of 'other language' starts making the dialogue difficult to follow, I'm just gonna nope out.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Technically, I wrote one thing for Gundam Wing back in like 2000, but I can't even remember what I did with it or what it was about, exactly. Other than that, TCW.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? flsdlfg that's really difficult... idk man, if it's quality we're talking about rather than sentimentality, I'd say it's a toss-up between these three 😅:

My Heart's Red Muscle - Canon-divergent AU where Waxer is a cyborg.

Kinktober 2022 - Character studies/development through smut, where Waxer and Boil find a list of sexy things to try out, so it's kind of meta. It's from my main Open Skies AU, and I'm weirdly proud of this one XD;

We Could Breathe Underwater - Force-sensitive Waxer and Boil AU

Phew! Okay this took me like three sessions to answer, but it was fun :)

No-pressure tags: anyone who sees this and wants to do it, plus @lizardberries @elismor @bilbosmom-belladonna @valkeakuulas @petrifiedforests @marbled-polecat @writegowrite @sophronist @marbled-polecat @ivalane

20 Questions for Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

#tag game #writing #q&a #questions for writers

[im-a-king-baby]

Hey, I love ELYN 😭❤️

So my two fave scenes/ moments were the 'keep of the lake house for now' and 'I've been in love with him since' so any commentary will be amazing. Any extra stuff will be amazing so 🪻please 😊

Hiii <3

Gonna put these 3 under a cut because length

“So hold onto that lake house for a while longer,” he says. “Okay?”

Context: i wrote the majority of the first draft of ELYN for Nanowrimo in 2022 (basically a challenge where you write a 50k novel in the month of November) and then I rewrote and edited it over a bunch of months.

So this chapter was actually very similar to the original draft, except that in Draft 1 all of the vote fallout was in one chapter which had the Simon scene first then the Nils scene. In the editing/developing process all the non-Wilhelm characters grew a lot so I knew I wanted to expand Nil's role, and add some more Felice which meant I could bump Simon into his own chapter.

(there was absolutely not meant to be a giant posting gap between the Nils scene and the Simon scene. To be completely honest if I'd known I was going to need that long to finish the fic off I'd probably have chosen to put the gap immediately after the debate because... tension 😈)

The main places where the Simon scene got extended was in the details - Simon's life and career was not well thought through in draft 1 and a lot of the extra length across the whole fic came from building that up - but the lakehouse beat was always there because it was important that Simon's rehab process had to be something he did independent of Wilhelm, so this idea of Wilhelm offering up this house and Simon rejecting it, then clarifying that it's a 'not yet' but hopefully one day when he's in a better place.

Wilhelm's 'I keep thinking about the last time you went to L.A.' was not in the original and was one of those character beats that didn't come to me until months later, but that really pulled together Wilhelm's feelings at that moment and his reluctance to let Simon leave, and that then led really nicely back into Simon saying hang on to the house, because hopefully its not goodbye this time.

“Keira asked what was different about you,” Simon says. “I said: I fell in love with Wilhelm when I was sixteen, and I have been in love with him every day since.”

Okay so this part was possibly the slowest part of the fic to write mostly because I was still figuring out how to articulate this ending which was meant to be optimistic but not magic-wand-everything's-fixed-now. This line in particular came about because I was trying to find where Simon was sitting emotionally and ended up writing a very short therapy in L.A. scene in which Simon dropped this line and I was immediately like 'well, that has to get into the main story.'

It's a nice parallel to Wilhelm's 'I'm never going to stop being in love with him.' in chapter 8, and it highlights that the issues between them have never been a lack of love or not wanting to be together, it's always been these outside forces that they need to break away from.

Also its one of those lines that you write down and then you read it and you're like 'people are gonna quote this one back at me' and its nice when you get that right 😅

And on that theme, your 🪻 is:

“Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking about?” This is the worst part of therapy. “Wilhelm.” Keira’s eyebrows twitch slightly, which is the only reaction he ever gets and means he’s surprised her. “We haven’t spoken much about Wilhelm, not since you asked if you could text him. Are you ready to tell me more about what happened between you?” “You could check the tabloids.” Her ‘you know that’s not what I meant’ look reminds him of Candace, except that she hasn’t figured out how to also convey ‘and I’m disappointed and you’re exhausting and you’d be nothing without me.’ “I’d like to hear it in your own words.” Simon absolutely can’t look at her. “I fell in love with Wilhelm when I was sixteen,” he says. “And I’ve been in love with him every day since. He’s the one I think about every time I sing a love song. Still. I have slept with - I don’t know, hundreds? - of people since I left Sweden and none of it meant anything, compared to him.” “What was it like, seeing him again?” He’d been drinking steadily in the car on the way to the benefit concert so that he’d be able to smile and read a teleprompter and not just stand there staring but it was a close thing. After his performance they’d swept him into a room where he drank champagne and smiled for the cameras. Wilhelm had touched a fingertip to his bare shoulder and Simon had wanted him so badly it hurt in places he’d thought could no longer feel anything. He doesn’t have words for that, except that it was like being in love. “He showed me I could do this,” Simon says instead. “That I could get out. That these systems we were caught up in weren’t infallible.” She frowns very slightly. “Do you think he spoke out against the monarchy for you?” Maybe? He offered once. On a cold night in his ridiculous scarf in so many words that it was Ayub who figured out what he was getting at after he’d walked away. But, no. “He did it for him. Because he needed it. And I did this for me. But there couldn’t be an ‘us’ before. Because of all those things getting in the way. And now… and maybe we both did it a bit for that. For love. Or whatever.”

#Elyn fic #elyn spoilers #I guess #I mean I assume you've all read it at this point

[ut-versotale]

Update Time, Update Time

Welcome back, everyone. Hope you all had a very happy New Years! I come bearing a late present for you all: A Versotale update!

Game Progress

As I anticipated, I needed to take a break around the middle of November so I could focus on schoolwork. Now that we've been on break for a little while again and will continue to be for the better part of January, I've already gotten a sizable chunk of stuff done. Still not as much as I would've LIKED to have completed - There are still like only three fully-completed rooms at the moment, and even then they have a ton of WIP assets and first-pass dialogue and all - but, that is the way of coding a game solo, mostly from scratch, and with the occasional glances at Undertale's code, isn't it?

Unfortunately, while I really want to share stuff with you guys, it's all in some way a spoiler that I don't want to spoil for the people who'd rather experience everything fresh for themselves.

...

So, if you DO wanna experience everything fresh for yourself, feel free to bow out of this post here. If you're sticking around, enjoy some mild spoiler-y content, some character designs, and some fun vague allusions to things I still really wanna talk about! I need to give you guys SOMETHING after this long wait, right?

Game Progress: Slightly Spoiler-y Edition

The OPENING CUTSCENE you saw a while back has been tweaked slightly to make Hercine more likable, and so the dialogue can flow a bit more naturally.

Two new cutscenes have been added to the beginning, albeit with some rough visuals. These three all flow into each other, and if you're speaking through each line of dialogue, they only take up about six minutes total. Still, it is a TAD bit too long for my liking without any gameplay behind it, so there's a chance I might cut a cutscene or switch the order of things around so there's a brief gameplay section before the last one. Who knows.

Undyne has been redesigned. Undyne now sports some less bulky armor that combines aspects of her canon casual and armored forms. If she's gonna be there the entire game, she may as well have a visually-interesting design rather than the blob of bluish-grey her armor used to be. I'm sure some people will consider this a downgrade, which is always the risk you run when you redesign a character you've already shown off... but I personally just can't stand working with that old design any longer. The colors barely pop, it looks messy, the armor's boring and flat-colored and almost even blends into her scales, etc.

You didn't get to see the outdated Frisk design I had for this iteration of the project, and I'm glad you didn't, because upon writing more of their scenes and reconfiguring their personality, I HAD to redesign them again. I don't anticipate this one changing ANY time soon, but, as with Undyne, no promises.

Next up, some important human characters in the first area that AREN'T Frisk! You'll meet them later on, and I really hope you all end up liking them and the story behind them! In the meantime, here, have their designs. Again, they might change, but I'm comfortable with these for now.

That's all I feel comfortable showing off for the first area at the moment! I'm hoping to record everything up until the first save point and post it on YouTube at some point before the end of January (Again, as I must reiterate, in its very unfinished form), but no promises!

While that's all for the first area, I have been poking around with redesigning some of the later characters you guys have not even seen yet. Particularly, the primary antagonist of the new Cold West. I have to admit, I was a little worried that, if I didn't switch up his design, people would start comparing him to Clover since Undertale Yellow is still fresh in a lot of our memories right now, but... I think you guys will really like "The long scarf of the law." He's a fun character.

Alright, that's all from me! I hope you guys enjoyed this brief little peek at some mild spoiler-y content! I hope to be back soon with some neat stuff for y'all to see in action!

#undertale #undertale au #versotale #frisk #undyne #update #fangame

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

4 or 7 please

A little switch-a-roo! Harry is Y/N's bands' producer and they don't always see eye-to-eye.

Y/N was pissed and it was definitely coming through in the recording session. When their band's manager, Richard, initially told them that they were trying to get Harry Styles to produce their album she was excited. Y/N's initial excitement stemmed from the fact that even though he was only 34 he was incredibly successful and had an incredible reputation. He was an icon! She wanted to learn from him what making a good album meant, because she was interested in doing a good job every single time she put out music. At first she was really excited to have him on board and was soaking it all in, but the closer they get to the album finish the more she has started to dislike him. He constantly tore down her ideas or made her seem like she didn't know what she was talking about, he critiqued her choices and her style, and it just put her in a bad mood. And now, he was working their drummer, Kassie to the bone and Y/N was tired of it.

"Can we take a 10? I have t'pee." Kassie said when they finished a recording bit. She was shaking out her hands as she waited for a confirmation.

The only reason they were in this mess was because Harry said that when he went in to start editing that song the drums were sloppy. In Kassie's defense, that particular song was really hard and tiring, which Y/N explained to Harry. She also reminded him that they had a full day of recording their last song of the album and didn't have time to keep going over old stuff. He then told her that he was aware of what the session today was supposed to be and that in terms of Kassie, the song being hard wasn't an excuse and that she could do a much better job if she tried harder. Y/N just rolled her eyes at him and here they were, 30 minutes later after re-recording the same last 2 minutes of that blasted song about 15 times. What Y/N was more annoyed at is that at some point in between takes Harry had gone in and shown Kassie perfectly what needed to be done and instead of recording that he just gave her what she believes was the worst pep talk in history. The mics were off so no one could hear what he was saying but she was tearing up and he handed her a box of tissues, so it couldn't have been good.

"Yeah, let's take a ten." one of the techs announced once Harry gave him the OK and Y/N immediately made her way into the live room.

"Hey Kass, how're the hands?"

"Sore." she said smiling up at Y/N.

"Sorry, I tried to tell Harry that it was fine how it was but-"

"No, it's not. He's right, I can do better." she said with determination.

"Kass, it's OK if you can't." Y/N assured. Kassie was going through a bit of a rough time personally and she was sure that this was making her feel worse. She didn't want to tell Harry that, because that's none of his business, but he needed to listen to Y/N and get off of Kassie's case.

"Really Y/N, I can do it. I'm just really in my head, OK? I'm gonna go pee, take a little breather and come back."

"OK." She sighed and Kassie just offered her a smile before heading out of the studio. She wasn't all that shocked to see Harry following after her, but she would have a word with him later. He needed to stop being a dick.

To say the least, Kassie had successfully executed the part Harry had called sloppy after her little bathroom break and they were able to jump into the last song. Harry had tons to say about her vocals and about some of the lyrics- how they didn't work with the rhythm well and they ended up changing some things around. Y/N had been singing the song in her practices the old way and kept forgetting the blasted changes he made. She groaned as Harry yelled another cut. She was prepared to have him ream her again and already glanced down at her feet so that he couldn't see her eyes roll in irritation.

"Obviously we're not getting what we need today-" she shot her head up and glared at him through the glass, "So let's just call it a day. Great work, everyone." he said and just like that everyone started packing up. She hung the headphones up on the stand and burst into the control room where Harry was chatting with the studio crew.

"Ummm, we need to keep going. Today's our last studio session. that's all we paid for." she reminded him.

"We'll figure something out." he said to her and she scowled at him.

"We don't have money for another full day or however many days you plan on hijacking this process! If we hadn't been wasting our time re-recording kass' perfectly fine drumming we would have 45 more minutes to get this right-"

"Y/N, can you please just...be quiet?" he asked with a frown and she grimaced.

"Excuse me?"

"Just shut up, OK? Your voice is shot for today and if we keep going at it you're gonna cause some real damage to your vocal cords. You're really reaching in there, OK?" She scoffed, "Did you call that vocal coach like I told you to two months ago?" he asked and she rolled her eyes, "I'll take that as a no and that's why you can't sing the song today." he said to her. She felt her eyes welling up as he scolded her and insulted her talent. She scoffed and stormed out and to the bathroom. Harry sighed as he watched her rush out. He believed that Y/N didn't really understand what he was getting at and if she would just stop being so stubborn and listen to him...

Y/N didn't let herself actually cry at his words, but she was fuming mad to the point that her eyes grew teary. She tended to cry when she got angry. But he was an ass and he was cocky and smug and so fucking dumb with his porn-stache and fucking pink beanie. She headed angrily to her car after heading out of the studio, realizing that hers was one of only three cars left in the lot. She had been cooling off in the bathroom for quite a while. As she reached for her keys in her pocket she groaned, realizing that she never grabbed her things from the studio.

"Fuck me..." she grumbled and headed back inside. As she headed over to the control room they had been in, much to her dismay Harry was sat at the sound board with his laptop hooked up to it and he glanced up to the door when he saw someone come in. She looked over to the couch and saw that her bag was sitting there next to his.

"Forgot my stuff." she said.

"I know. I also grabbed your notebook from the piano bench, dropped it in your bag for you." he informed before turning back to the screen.

"Thanks." she hummed and headed to the couch to grab her bag.

"Figured you had left." he hummed.

"Was just cooling off." she responded lowly and then he spun around on the stool he was on to look at her.

"Why are you so fucking stubborn?" he asked her with a half-smile, "I'm just trying to do the job you and your team hired me to do."

"Why are you such an ass?" she responded and he frowned.

"I'm not an ass." he defended himself and she scoffed.

"You so are! That shit you pulled with Kassie today, you made her cry! We all saw it and-"

"You know she's dealing with a breakup right?" he asked Y/N and her eyebrows furrowed, of course she did, but how did he know that?

"Yeah."

"She got cheated on, she was telling me. I don't know if that's ever happened to you, but I can tell you from experience it is completely demoralizing. It makes you doubt every single part of yourself, especially the parts of you that you love the most, because we tend to associate the things we love together." he said and she frowned, "For Kassie that's her music. This chick was a part of her life for a really long time, as you probably know. She pushed her to do good and to excel in her music. Realistically, Kassie knows that her talent is her own and that she has all of you, and her family, and her friends, but that chick, whatever her name was-"

"Alisha."

"Whatever." he hummed, "Her opinion, her belief, her support bore a lot of weight to Kassie. She wasn't crying because I was an ass to her. She was crying because I told her that she's one of the best drummers I've ever worked with. She doesn't believe it right now, but it's the truth. She had only ever heard that from one person and having someone else validate that was a lot for her." he said and Y/N's eyes softened.

"Oh."

"Yeah." He said and Y/N sighed, "You should've heard the previous recording we had. I deleted it the moment I heard it, it was absolute shit. You're not trained to hear what I hear. It's my job to help you guys make this the best album possible and sometimes that means pushing you guys, like I pushed Kassie today. She doesn't need to sit back and relax with her thoughts. She needed to hit something, hard! And she needed to see that there was more to her than that relationship. She was able to see that in herself again today. She needs you and the rest of the band to believe that she can do it."

"I do believe she can do it!"

"That's not what it sounds like when you come griping to me about how the piece is too hard. That you're OK with a mediocre recording instead of telling her that she can do better-"

"She's just going through it. I just wanted to cut her some slack, OK? And this is not just about Kassie. This is about the way that you treat me all the time! You're always undermining me! My ideas, my writing, my singing, my playing! And don't give me that shit you just spewed about pushing me too because I don't buy that for a moment. On top of that you're so arrogant and condescending! You think you know everything, but you don't! Maybe no one can see it because they kiss your ass, but I see it clear as day." she said and he shook his head, fighting a smile. Smug piece of shit.

"OK. You're clearly not ready to have a conversation with me." he said cooly and she wanted to scream, he was treating her like a kid.

"Why do you do that? Treat me like a child?!" she shouted in aggravation and he scoffed.

"Look at you and the way you're behaving and tell me you're not acting like a child." he challenged and her eyes narrowed into angry slits, "You shout and shout and shout and you're not saying anything of substance. You're acting like an entitled brat who's upset because she's not getting her way and believe me when I tell you that everyone sees that." he finished and she was speechless. Her eyes started welling up once again and she scoffed before grabbing her bag and rushing to the door. "Don't forget to call the vocal coach!" he called to her.

"Fuck you!" she shouted back and he sighed. She was so fucking difficult and petulant. She made him want to tear his hair out sometimes. Harry was so frustrated because at first he really enjoyed working with Y/N. He always thought she was beautiful, smart, promising and he felt that he could contribute to the music her and her band made. Somewhere down the line she started losing sight and started playing it so safe. The music was suffering and it was so boring and mediocre. Something he knew wasn't her or her band at all; he was trying to guide her back to her original and risk-taking nature. To claim back the sound that had enticed him to produce for them. But boy, was she putting up a fight.

A few days later Harry contacted her to see if she was able to come to his house and finish recording the last song vocals at his home studio. She waited nearly the full day to reply, but at least she didn't leave him hanging.

*******

It was 9am when Y/N was ringing Harry's doorbell as promised. His housekeeper had come to the door and guided her out back. His backyard was beautiful. There was a pool and a hot tub and even a few fruit trees further back on the property then the pool house, which the woman told her was where the studio was located. She thanked her before sauntering back there and opening up the door and peeking in.

"Hey, good morning!" Harry greeted her cheerfully as she stepped inside. It was like a little lounge area where he was. There was a big comfy couch, TV, and a bar and fridge at one end of the room.

"Hi." she said and upon fully entering she saw another person there, "Hello." she then greeted the woman sitting on the couch.

"Good morning." the woman said.

"Y/N, this is Dr. Dauphine Auclair - the vocal coach I kept referring you to?" he said and if Y/N could punch him she so would. She felt her blood boiling and despite that she turned back to the woman and smiled politely.

"Pleasure, Dr. Auclair." she extended her hand and the woman took it.

"I was just making her some tea. Would you like a cup? I've got licorice root or ginger. These are the only throat safe options." he said and she shrugged.

"Ummm, surprise me." she said and he smiled.

"Cool. So Dr. Auclair is here to do a little warming up with you. I know you mentioned that you only took a few lessons in the past, can you elaborate a bit more with Dr. Auclair while I get this going?" he asked her and she swallowed down her rage and nodded before turning to the woman.

Y/N had started to sing in high school and the only "lessons" she had ever taken were when her choir teacher taught them some warm ups. That's what she had been working off of for performances and such for the last 6 or seven years. After a couple of minutes Harry was joining them on the couch and she glared at him in the brief moment that Dr. Auclair took a sip of her tea.

Dr. Auclair went on to explain that she should prioritize this as the vocal cords were sensitive and affected by many things. They were easy to damage and ensuring that her vocal warmups and maintenance evolved along with her was of absolute importance. She just nodded along and Harry watched on silently as she listened along, seemingly captivated by what Dr. Auclair shared with her. He sat in for a bit of her warm up before slipping out to give them a bit of time. After about a half hour he was returning to say his goodbyes and he happened to overhear her confirming another appointment with Dr. Auclair. He gave them a moment before knocking on the studio door and announcing himself, he said his goodbyes and walked Dr. Auclair out to her car.

Y/N was glad that Harry didn't have to hear her confirming voice coaching appointments. He actually liked Dr. Auclair and she did feel more relaxed in the throat for the recording session and was looking forward to learning more from her. She had some water and waited in the control room for Harry to return.

"Ready to go?" he asked as he came back in, tone cheerful.

"Yeah, good to go." she said and he had been right, she was recording the vocals with ease, even the higher harmonies and ad-libs he was suggesting. And after about an hour and a half they had finished up and Harry was giving her a thumbs up through the glass and she smiled as she hung up the headphones and headed into the control room.

"That was really good." he smiled and she sighed.

"Yeah, it felt good too. I'm not as tired as before."

"That's good. Dr. Auclair was helpful then?" he asked and she nodded.

"Yeah." she smiled.

"I'm sorry if the way I suggested coaching to you before made you feel like I thought you were bad or unskilled, that's not at all why." he said, "I think you're extremely gifted and I just want you to take great care of your instrument. Just looking out for you, s'all." he said to her and she sighed.

"I can see that now." she admitted, "I'm sorry too for... acting like a brat as you so eloquently put it." she said to him and he chuckled and glanced down as his fingers combed through his hair.

"Entitled brat s'what I said I think." he hummed and she rolled her eyes, "There you go again." he hummed and she scoffed.

"Rolling my eyes is not bratty."

"S'petulent though. Childish."

"I know what petulant means you smug prick." she said and he smirked.

"S'that mouth of yours that gets you into trouble." he chuckled and she shrugged.

"I have a lot to say."

"Not everything needs to be said. Specially when you have a face as expressive as yours." he pointed out and she giggled before biting her lip.

"I know...I need to be more mindful of that." she huffed.

"Can I be honest with you?" he asked and she nodded, "Won't get all salty with me?" he asked as he took a seat beside her and she chuckled.

"I'll try not to." she smiled and he chuckled.

"I'm hard on you because you're better than whatever the fuck has been going on with you the last few months. You guys sounded different, had something so special and unique about you. Lately it just seems that you're trying to fit in with the fads. Almost like you're scared to just be yourselves. And the rest of the band, they really look to you for guidance and Y/N, you've been playing it safe. It's not at all like you." He said and she sighed, "Don't know why you take your anger out on me when I know for a fact all of my suggestions are living up to the vision in your head." he said and she looked into his eyes.

"I get angry at you because you have the guts to be yourself and execute your vision so unapologetically. I feel like... I may seem like it, but I'm not brave enough." she confessed and Harry tutted.

"But you're brave enough to come gripe at me and speak your mind without a question?" he asked with a chuckle, "You're definitely brave enough to unapologetically be yourself." He assured her and she smiled timidly. "I see it every single day. Don't keep that part of you out of the music. It's what makes you special." he said and she sighed.

"I guess I'll be honest with you and tell you that I was really excited when I heard that you agreed to produce the album. I really admire your work too, I'm a big fan of yours." she confessed.

"Oh really?" he asked and she chuckled and nodded, "Never would've guessed." he teased and she rolled her eyes again. "Should start charging you every time you roll your eyes at me." he said and she giggled.

"Yeah, maybe. You're kinda of a pain in the ass." she scrunched her nose up and he mimicked her expression mockingly which made her laugh.

"There she is!" he announced happily, "That's the girl I first met." he hummed and she felt her face heating up, "Don't want to fight with you anymore. I want us to work well together, communicate better, so that we can make the best album possible. Want you to be involved in every bit of it." he said, "Can we agree on that?" He asked her and she bit her lip and nodded, her eyes meeting his. She was fucking pretty and undoubtedly a handful, but he didn't care. His eyes flickered down to her lips and then her eyes again, "Good." he hummed. Y/N was positive she hadn't imagined him look at her lips and she felt her heart pounding but pushed it aside. After a few more minutes he was standing outside of her car with her as they said their goodbyes.

"Thanks for today, Harry." she said and he smiled.

"Yeah of course. Anything you need, you let me know." he assured and she smiled, "So long as that bratty attitude is stowed away." he warned.

"Mmmm, no. Think it's good to keep you on your toes." she said, "Besides, I think you like it a little more than you let you on." she smirked and now he was blushing.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, love." he chuckled a bit nervously and she bit her lip as her eyes trailed down to his soft ones. So pretty and pink, he definitely noticed.

"OK, we'll talk soon."

"Definitely." he assured and he watched her pull out of his driveway with a half hard cock and a muttered curse. He didn't know how yet, but he was gonna make her his.

READ ONE SHOT FOR PART 2

#picture prompt challenge #writing #harry styles #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfiction #0nlythrowharrybeaux #harry styles x y/n #y/n x harry styles

[lurkingteapot]

Laws of Attraction กฏแห่งรักดึงดูด Ep.01

sorry to @ginnymoonbeam and anyone else from the discord crew who's seeing this twice, I hope to type up a more coherent something at some point, but I wanted to record this somewhere.

I've put a cut because this is LONG, but the reactions include translations of stuff that apparently didn't get translated on iQiyi. Mind that I'm not fluent, this is without guarantees, etc.

WHOA starting right on a dramatic courtroom scene … and why does that the defendant look familiar?

oh fuck, he uses dirty tricks. I'm not surprised, but WOW.

haha, hi dude who played Jaosua Zhang in Khun Chai

oh god this Chinese is … something.

that shirt is a CHOICE

oh, wait, is this the dude who played … what's his face, the one who was going to sell out Thian in Khun Chai? is he gonna be our antag

ahaha he hit a nerve

ahaha how is it ALWAYS Film's characters getting saved by Jam's

ahaha Chaan hitting on Tinn. He's so sleazy, yikes

and of course he's hitting on Tinn, and Tinn has good instincts and avoids the murder eyes

oh god he looks dangerous, how is this the dude who played sweet Thian?? ACTING!!!!

… I'm not gonna comment on that

of course this show is gonna make it a mission to make me hungry

Khao is so cute

this is gonna hurt so much, eh

ooh so he teaches Taekwondo!! this is so cute

oh goodness, she wants to make merit for her parents ;-; SWEETHEART

HOLY SHIT. That wasn't even a hit-and-run, that was an intentional running-over

oh shit, these dudes look hiso

uurgh Chaan's face here is just like "here's money coming my way"

this kid is so prett I'm sure he'll get an redemption arc, but I hate him anyway, for now

here come Tinn and his auntie crashing this hiso politician's press junket, oops

Sign reads:

The lawsuit is not making progress. The perpetrator has not been punished.

they're really going for maximum

I love how Chaan already owes Tinn his life twice over, this is gonna make for an interesting dynamic

the romantic music, I cannot, this is a SOAP and it's leaning into it, I'm LIVING

oh, the way the mood INSTANTLY changed here, goddd

oh god, Chaan is SO removed from reality

or, well. jaded, I guess. Which we knew! from the trailer! BUT STILL

"you'll regret that" holy SHIT

WAS THAT THE ROSEWOOD AGAIN

oh, so Chaan also has Trauma(tm)?

This show is in the future, the texts read:

29 July 2023, 8:30, acc x-9732 incoming transfer 100 total balance 178,274.59 29 July 2023, 8:30, acc x-9732 incoming transfer 400 total balance 178,574.59 (idk I didn't math this, it's what it says) 29 July 2023, 8:30, acc x-9732 incoming transfer 400 total balance 180,574.59

love the commentary on this type of "journos"

I love Tinn's sister

I'm already excited for the moment Chaan starts to care. it's gonna be EPIC

he's such an ASSHOLE and I'm having a hard time with that because Thian was so sweet ACTING

I'm flashing back to Gram and White's "legal vs ethical" debate in Not Me

he can't apologise? oh Chaan, I think Tinn is going to make you eat your words.

okay I like that Tinn is apparently an asshole to everyone. equal opportunity asshole.

10:33: Ended voice call (22 seconds) 13:45: Message: "From today on, the party lawyers will take over Thaenthai's case. As for your wages, you can send [the bill?] now. I'll take care of it." (EDITED thanks to @recentadultburnout for your correction!)

I'm starting to think Tinn just doesn't know how not to be antagonistic

oh god are they gonna beat him up while he's wearing a ruffled blouse

oh YIKES

the shot of whatever that was? that's gonna be relevant later, I bet

YOU TELL HIM, TINN

acab acab acab ACAB FUCK THEM

oh god this show is gonna hurt even worse than I thought

If Chaan set that beating up I'm gonna … idk. not be surprised. but.

I can't believe the trailer essentially covered most of ep 1 and not that much from later on???

I didn't think we'd see Chaan undress and … from that set-up quite possibly assault him this early. Or frankly at all, despite how it was set up in the trailer. YIKES

THAT PREVIEW, HELP please tell me this is also a two episode a week show

#laws of attraction #laws of attraction the series #laws of attraction 2023 #กฎแห่งรักดึงดูด #bl watch live blog #bl watch liveblog #reaction #translation #my nonsense #laws of attraction ep 1