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#i know not every demon has connections with each other
jinuaei · 18 hours
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Can I ask for a submissive Yandere alastor, where the reader owns his soul
I don't really think this is good as the other ones but I hope the idea was written properly. Sorry if it's short!
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Alastor never understood what devotion truly is, those couples promising each other their body and soul in matrimony, their gazes soft with love, and hands clutching each other in a gentle embrace. He never grew up in a devoted household, his father abusive, refusing to show even an ounce of love to him and his momma. Though perhaps his momma showed devotion– to Alastor absolutely, but he never thought of that as devotion, but more so love, and his momma loved him to death. 
Devotion to him at the time meant to give everything he has to the person he loves, but he never found the one that he does. In life, swarms of ladies would flock to him, begging for his attention, he would give it to them, but only for a moment. That's devotion, yes? Those ladies willing to rip each other apart just to get a chance with him? After all, they were willing to give everything to him just to let them call him theirs. Yet still, to him, that was not devotion, but merely infatuation.
In death, no sense of devotion can be seen in hell, every demon is too selfish to give themselves to each other for the silly notion of love. Souls here are not meant to give out because of love, they are meant to be used and controlled for ownership, that is not devotion. Both in life and death, he did not have any hope of even experiencing what it's like to be devoted to someone.
But now as he gazes at you gently holding the chain connected to his neck, looking surprised at how you were able to claim the soul of an Overlord, and not just any Overlord, THE radio demon's. Moreso, he couldn't help the purring coming from his collared throat, knowing that you own him now, and he would never, ever leave you.
He kneels in front of you, head tilted up and ears drooping down, his tail wagging quickly, hidden within his long coat, his smile dopey and in so, so, so in love. 
Yes, this is it.
He crawls slowly towards you, hand gripping at your thighs, slowly creeping to wrap around your waist. You own him now, evident to the soul you hold oh so gently, he can feel it you know? How soft you are at handling him, you could be as rough as you want and he wont complain.
This is what it is.
He looks up at you, pulling you closer to hug your waist, the chains heavy, but his heart light. Your proximity and warmth sending shivers down his spine, pulling out a shaky breath from him.
This is…
A heavy blush covers his whole face, his smile growing wider, huffing and puffing as he smells your intoxicating scent. He leans his whole body against you, body weak at how he is surrounded by you, your scent, your warmth, your gaze, and just… you.
What true and utter devotion truly means.
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jorrated · 21 days
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when i got the demonology autism instead of being good a math autism
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dykedivorce · 7 months
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if any other bitch in konoha had been gay apart from sasuke none of this would have happened to my son naruto.
#pussy from the turbotron edgelord 3000 and his whole life went up in flame. NOT worth it#no but fr it's insane how he bamboozled every fan into thinking he was so interesting and cool and badass when .#at the point im at in shippuden hes by far the least interesting of the main characters. one track mind (vengeance) and no depth beyond that#like the other characters rn : sakura coming in to her own ; finding her path and her strength + sharing a connection so deep with naruto#over their common loss that they both just Know although they absolutely cant talk about it#yamato: the only survivor of orochimaru's monstrous experiments on children; kakashi's stand in thats so different from kakashi#it makes you wonder what it would have been like with him as their teacher from the start;#a mystery thats clearly trying his best but whose mission truly is A Lot#SAI: A BRAINWASHED SPY A PAWN FOR A SECRET ORGANISATION WHO CLINGS TO HIS HUMANITY NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES HES BEEN PUNISHED FOR IT#WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH NARUTO FOR MAKING HIM REALIZE HOW DEEP THINGS COULD BE FELT AND HOW DEEP RELATIONSHIPS COULD RUN#WHO HAS BEEN DRAWING A BOOK FOR HIS DEAD BROTHER FOR YEARS EVEN IF HE'S FORGOTTEN WHAT HIS BROTHER LOOKS LIKE#WHO DECIDED TO SPARE SASUKE BECAUSE HE'S LOVED. WHO JUST WANTS TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE A HUMAN LIFE.#MOST AUTISTIC CODED CHARACTER OF ALL TIMES HAS NEVER SUCCESSFULLY MASKED A DAY IN HIS LIFE.#sasuke: sasuke#anyway. im not touching on naruto because i could be here for days#BUT while sasuke on his own so far is very whatever. the narusasu dynamic is truly one for the ages#bc i just saw the ep where sasuke manages to see kyuubi inside naruto and wooshes him away and it's very like.#oh so hes literally seeing naruto's demons and banishing them even as hes telling naruto they dont matter to each other anymore.#oh ok cool cool cool cool this feels normal and not something to obsess over#jesus christ why am i typing all this. who here cares#naruto thoughts
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griffonsgrove · 4 months
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omg hello!! I saw you post those vox headcanons and wow I was literally kicking my feet and giggling LOL. I also saw you take requests right now! (at least that’s what it said in your rules) and I wanted to request something : D
could I request general alastor headcanons with a GN! Reader please ? :D
Thank you!
General Dating Headcanons | Alastor
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a/n: Of course my dear!! I love how Alastor is portrayed in the series, he’s easily one of my favorite characters! I’ve been wanting to do these for quite a bit, so thank you for the request!
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Wordcount: 1991
Cw: Hazbin Spoilers, minor violence, mentions of death, murder
(PLATONIC):
Ah so you managed to capture the attention of the infamous Radio Demon? You should be honored he even considers you worth his time! Not most demons have that luxury, they never live long enough to see.
Al strikes me as the kind of guy who knows everyone, he’s very observant and has eyes everywhere (his shadow friends extend throughout the entirety of the pride ring). He’s got connections in just about anything. He’s bound to have at least seen you once.
That being said, he views other sinners as inferior to him, if you don't have any power, he doesn't really see you as much of a threat (let’s be honest even if you did, he still wouldn't feel threatened)
He’s quite intrigued when he sees a frail little thing like you walk through the hotel doors. You're here on your own free will, seeking redemption? Oh, this will be quite entertaining.
You’re well aware of who he is, having been in hell for quite some time, even before his 7 yearlong disappearance, you knew to be wary in his presence.
It often left you being timid or skittish around him at first.
The deer demon had a knack for popping up at the most inconvenient of times, out of nowhere it seems (perks of being able to shadow travel). He would scare the daylights out of you nearly every time. Whether it was intentional or not, it always got a good laugh out of him.
And that smile…He was always smiling, you can't ever recall a moment where he wasn't, not even a falter. It's definitely an intimidation tactic you think. After all, you're never fully dressed without one!~
Despite this, he’s a charmer. He has this flare about him that oozes confidence whenever he speaks with you, to anyone really. He’s able to talk his way into and out of anything. One of the many perks of being a showman. Alastor is witty, charming and entertaining to say the least. Life is never dull with him around.
And if you happen to be from the same time period?? It’ll only want him to be around you even more! Finally, someone he can relate to in this cesspool.
This man is quite the chatterbox. He looooves to reminisce about the good ol’ days, always talking about how things were in his radio days. He could talk for literal hours and not break a sweat. You’ll often have to politely interject when he rambles on for too long, not that he minds.
Did I mention he can cook too?? Really well, surprisingly. He claims he learned from his dearest mother. He had to put a name to her famous Jambalaya recipe! When you tried it for the first time your socks were nearly blown right off from how much cayenne pepper he put into it. He likes a little spice.
He's!! Always!! Humming!! The man loves to sing, he often finds himself absentmindedly humming old tunes from the 20’s as he goes about his day. Whether he’s out for a stroll, enjoying a nice cup of tea, or running around the hotel, he’s humming.
This has been stated before, but Alastor is not big on physical touch from others unless he's the one initiating it. There have been many times where he’s pulled you into a little dance or twirl while he explains something. It never fails to surprise you each time.
He’ll often use his microphone staff to push or touch something, more specifically someone. He doesn't like to touch sinners that often, God knows where they’ve been. You’ve seen him whack Angel upside the head with it before, the spider tried getting a little too close for comfort. But for you he’ll make an exception.
Very well groomed!! He puts a lot of effort into his appearance, and cares about how he projects himself to the public eye. His hair is always neatly styled to perfection, shoes shined, and is always dressed to the nines. I mean did you see how mad he got when Pentious ripped a part of his coat off?
As the two of you begin to spend some more time together, you find yourself often having little meetups, the both of you would chat, share a cup of tea and just enjoy each other’s company. He liked to sit on the patio, he had a little table, and everything set up for you two.
Alastor makes sure to keep an eye on you regularly. He may have his shadow sneak around and stalk you while you're out. He’ll use the excuse that ‘Hell is a dangerous place!’, He can't have some low-life sinner trying to harm you, that would make him a terrible friend!
Undeniably has a soft spot for you that he’ll never admit aloud, he genuinely enjoys your company and likes having someone around that will humor him and listen to his stories. Grandpa.
Overall, Al is quite a good friend to have, you feel like you can confide in him at any point, he’s surprisingly a wonderful listener. The more time you spend together only strengthens your little friendship. Even to the point where you both will grow to have a mutual respect for each other. He initially scared you at first, given his reputation, but underneath all the ruthless chaos is a true gentleman.
(ROMANTIC):
My man is sooo conflicted at first, He’ll spend hours in his den thinking about his feelings. (We’ve all seen the inside of his room, literally half of it is a swamp). The scenery can only soothe him so much as he contemplates on what to do.
This is probably where you will begin to less and less of him for a time being as he works out his inner turmoil.
But, once he finally comes to terms with these undeniable feelings, he decides to confront you privately, away from any prying eyes. Ahem Angel…
Very old-fashioned, this is where he will properly ask to court you. 
You’ll never know this but he was actually kind of nervous, he was worried you’d reject his offer, but imagine to his surprise when you said yes!! He kind of felt giddy.
Congratulations! You now have a cannibalistic deer overlord as your boyfriend
He’s such a gentleman, I literally cannot say it enough, the man was raised right and he respects you! 
You literally never have to open a door with him around. He holds your chair out for you, always walks on the outer side of the sidewalk, pays for every meal and is constantly giving you compliments left and right. And they say chivalry is dead.
Alastor loves to gift flowers to you. Every few weeks or so he’ll give you a new bouquet. They're different each time, some have a meaning while others he simply thought you’d enjoy. You have a special place in your room where you keep them.
Now that you’re in a relationship, the two of you are basically joined at the hip. Wherever you are, Alastor is not far behind. He doesn't want to admit it but the overlord is kind of clingy. He doesn't like being too far from you.
If there’s ever a reason he has to be away from you, he’ll often have a few of his little imp dolls watch after you. You always thought they were cute little fellas anyways.
The both of you aren't exactly private about your relationship, but at the same time you’re not screaming it out from the rooftops either. Alastor is well aware of the dangers you could possibly face due to his status. He’s made a lot of enemies in his time, and doesn't want to see you get hurt on his behalf.
That being said though, no demon in their right mind would try to threaten you.
God forbid they touch you either. They’d be ripped in half before they could even get another word out. 
He's fiercely protective over you. He tries to play it off as nonchalantly as possible, but you know he cares about you immensely, it’s rather sweet really.
Now about physical affection. Things will go very slowly in the beginning, as said before he's fine with things as long as he's the one initiating it. If you two are out for a stroll you’ll have your arm gently looped with his as you walk down the chipped sidewalks. You’ll have to be extremely patient with him, he’s not used to this “love” and “affection”
If you’re ever having a bad day however, he’ll slip out of his comfort zone for you, and allow you to hold onto him for as long as you please, in the privacy of your own room of course.
One of his favorite things to do with you, is to slow dance. There's something so intimate and special about it. It could be late into the evening, when everyone else had gone to their respective rooms for the night, If you listen closely though, you’ll hear the soft hum of music coming from Alastor’s den, he has you in his arms, the both of you gently sway in a slow waltz across the room to the quiet love songs emitting from his radio. It’s here that you truly savor these private moments with him.
Speaking of music, Al loves to sing to you. Oftentimes it may be a ballad or love song, and if you join in with him? He’ll fall for you even more. 
Cooking! He loves to whip up all his favorite dishes just for you, oftentimes you’ll help him in the kitchen, even if it’s the smallest thing. It's become an annual thing you two like to do together. He makes sure that you get only the best meat that this side of hell can provide.
He’ll often call you a mix of different pet names, here's a few of his favorites: Cher, Darling, Beloved, Dearest, Love, Mon Amour, Doll
Which btw on the topic of meat, Al is canonically a cannibal, he’ll often eat demon meat in his meals, and will have you try it at least once.
Admittedly has gotten slightly jealous of his own shadow. The mischievous thing was always trying to steal your attention away from him, oftentimes it would work, you would always give in and humor him, saying that ‘Even his shadow needed some loving too!’. With a strained smile, Alastor shoots a glare at the inky mass of himself, who just looks at him with a smug grin.
Will have you meet Rosie at least once. She’s one of his other closest friends, and a real sweetheart. At first she comes off as really scary and intimidating. but the more you get to know her, and she's for certain that you wont hurt her friend, she’s much more friendlier. 
You two actually bond together somewhat, having little chats about Alastor occasionally, or about her business.
It’s safe to say that this man would kill hundreds if not thousands for you. You have him wrapped around your little finger. If you ever have someone bothering you, they might as well already be dead, because this man will hunt them down like prey. And eat them too.
Honestly, Alastor as a lover is nothing short of wholesome. He’s so attentive and caring when it comes to you. Which is so refreshing to see, especially coming from one of hell’s most feared overlords. Things will most likely start of slow, but if you’re patient with him, all the hard work will be rewarded tenfold. He had initially thought the Princess of Hell’s Hotel was one of the biggest jokes of the century, but what he wasn't expecting was you to be one of the best things to come out of it. You both were cast down to suffer an eternal damnation in hell, but at least now you can endure it together <3.
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lvlyghost · 11 months
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The Things I Never Said
Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader
Summary: Simon had told you he never wanted to be a dad, so when the inevitable happens you run.
Word Count: 2.2k
Tw: angst, fluff, ooc simon(? descriptions of pregnancy and panic attacks, medical inaccuracies, slightly suggestive but nothing too explicit, this isn't proofread; i think that's it?✨
A/N: omg i couldn't stop thinking about this so i had to write it! I'm just feral for dad!simon loosely connected to this bc this is where the idea came from. Hope y'all enjoy it🫰🏻💛🦄
Masterlist✨| Part 2
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You're shaking by the time you're out of the bathrooms. There's no doubt. You think with slight tremble on your lower lip. It almost feels aa of the world around you is closing in. Suffocating your lungs. Your vision blurs, when you toss the pregnancy test in the trash can.
This can't be happening. Not to you.
It's not that you didn't want to have kids.
But Simon didn't.
At this point you're sobbing uncontrollably, gasping for air. It's a good thing no one comes to this part late at night. The only moment you could find peace and solace. Sliding down the wall, hiding your face in your hands. How could you let this happen? You should've been more careful.
Your mind goes back to that day when neither of you cared about the consequences. Caught up in the moment, tearing each other's clothes; eager to be together. You hadn't seen Simon in two months when he was deployed to Serbia and you had to stay behind. Being both in the military meant knowing the risks. Every time could be the last time. You heard things about that specific mission. He got injured. You remember the gnawing fear clawing at your chest. And then there he was, knocking on your door as soon as they landed. His shoulder wrapped around bandages. He kissed you hard, desperately.
Hitting the mattress with you on top of him, not wanting to hurt him anymore. The sweet things he murmured in your ears, hands intertwined as you fall apart together.
You love him.
He cares for you.
But even if he felt slightly the same way about you, it wouldn't be enough.
Simon had... traumas. A tragic story of his own. You heard him talk about it late at night when he couldn't sleep. Those demons that plagued his mind, his dreams... and you listened. That's all you could do.
Offer a hand to the man that had saved you over and over again. And somewhere along the lines you fell.
And you fell hard.
Somewhere between dark nights and shared kisses at dawn.
-
You didn't get any sleep last night.
Your mind is still spinning with the anxiety. The morning sickness that started to disrupt as soon as you woke up. Red, puffy eyes that you try to dissimulate by washing your face hoping it goes away.
You get dressed feeling devastated, knowing that you'll have to face him as soon as you enter the training room. He's in charge. The mere thought makes you want to throw up. But you leave the bedroom nonetheless. Walking down the hallway feeling your hands sweating and your ragged breathing.
When you finally open the doors you're fifteen minutes late. That alone will earn you a punishment.
It's almost as if he feels your presence, immediately finding your form when you enter, his jaw tightens. Simon doesn't like this. But as long as you're under his command you get equal treatment or else, he'd be in problems. Both, would be in problems.
"Bit late Sergeant." He grumbles, emphasizing the last word staring directly in your eyes. Ghost is perceptive and is aware that something is wrong, but doesn't comment on it... yet. "Fifty push-ups. Start sparring when you're done."
You swallow down saliva, feeling your throat constrict.
Fuck, fuck. Don't cry. Not right now.
This whole situation has you sensitive.
You start, concentrating on doing the push-ups. Hearing the distant voice of him echoing around the room, sometimes you think he's closer to where you are then he's gone, but his gaze never leaves you. It's almost sinful how good he looks in that tight green army t-shirt and cargo pants
Your arms are sore and wobbly by the time you finish. Standing up you fight a wave o nausea, closing your eyes so hard you see white dots behind your eyelids.
"You alright?" It's Kyle's hand on your shoulder what brings you back, your eyes fluttering open and find him looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised.
You give him a small smile and a nod.
"Just tired that's all. Didn't get much sleep last night." You divert your gaze where the rest are beginning to spar. "How mad is Ghost?"
Gaz chuckles.
"I wouldn't call that mad. I think he's worried. You look like shite, dear."
"Oh." You say.
Gaz prompts you to the other side to join the training. Everyone's gathered around the training mat. Soap is kicking a soldier's ass. What was his name again? You forgot.
A gentle brush on your skin and then delicate fingers wrap your arm. You freeze, Simon's feather touch sends goosebumps all over your body. You turn your face upward to acknowledge him. His deep blue eyes soften when you look at him.
"Is everything okay Sergeant?" He asks. No. He demands.
You open your mouth and then close it. That's a question you don't know yourself.
I wish. You want to say.
But nothing will ever be okay after last night.
"I... I- didn't get much sleep, Sir. That's all."
Simon sighs but doesn't insist. He just nods, accepting your answer for now, once the training is done he'd talk to you. "You're up." He instructs.
Hand to hand to combat has never been your strongest suit but you do it nonetheless. Informatics on the other hand... you're the best of the best. That's why you're here, why you're a part of the task force.
Ghost stands within your range of vision in a way that you can see that he's there even when you're fighting.
You start although you're not in your best shape. Your heart is racing but not for the adrenaline. Your mind is fuzzy and your stomach churns. The panic is starting to break loose on you. You recognize the signs. You barely dodge the man's punch, this can't be called sparring. You're merely deflecting his hits, defending yourself.
Get a fucking grip!
Soap and Gaz look at each other. Then at Ghost who's clenching his fists, looking like he's about to jump between the two and kill the man. They get ready just in case something goes sideways.
You see his fist coming to your face, you take a step back but it grazes your left cheek. Someone in the distance swears and it's enough to distract you, the next blow goes to your gut. He doesn't even hit you with full force, noticing your lack of response he refrains as much as he can but it connects with your abdomen nevertheless.
It suffocates you. Brings you to your knees spitting saliva and gasping for air. You hear the soldier's frantic apologies. You cough trying to breathe but you just can't. It hurts you.
In a quick move Ghost is kneeling beside you, eyes scanning your body for external injuries. Anything.
"Hey... hey, kid! Look at me!" He orders. You can't, mostly because you're gasping for air, coughing, and the pain in your stomach. Ghost grabs your face seeing the tears collecting in the corner of your eyes. Another wave of nausea hits you and you spit out whatever comes out of your mouth. Simon takes you in his arms lifting you and runs to the infirmary, gritting his teeth. His steps echoing in the empty hallway as he bursts the doors of the med wing open.
-
"Captain..." you greet him as soon as you walk into his office, closing the door behind you with a soft click. Price looks at you, arms crossed. The bucket hat resting on his head. He's dead serious.
"Does he know?" He interrogates with that deep voice of his. It's only been an hour since the incident. Price had to do all in his power to keep Ghost busy. It nearly costs him a limb and a punch to his face. There's only so much he can do.
"No." You murmur, looking down to your feet.
"Jesus, kid." He pinches the bridge of his nose. His head was pounding already. This wasn't good. For any of them. John had decided to turn a blind eye on the situation. As long as it didn't interfere with their duties. Now? He shakes his head. Price walks towards you, the youngest of his team and a valuable asset. You were important to him, to everyone in the 141; to Simon in a very different way. "I'm putting you on medical leave. You must take care of your health, your body. I'll see what I can do, yeah? And for the love of God, talk to Simon."
-
You don't.
And that's because you're terrified. As soon as you left Price's office you ran to your room throwing your belongings in a duffel bag. You needed time to think. Of course you'd tell Simon.
Just not right now.
The disapproving stare of the doctor was enough to make you feel bad about hiding your pregnancy from him and then your Captain. You bite your lip and head out, the taxi driver is waiting already so you hop in, wishing to get some time alone. Clear your head and then find the best way to tell Simon about this.
It's raining outside by the time you're in your apartment. You've had time to get a quick shower and take the ibuprofen for your sore body. Your hands run absentmindedly to your stomach, soothing the skin but flinching when you press too hard. You should've stayed at base and talk to him after what happened.
But you're scared of the outcome.
By this time Simon must've found out you're gone. You won't blame him if he hates you. After all you ran away from him, like a coward.
Pouring some tea on a mug you hear the sound of keys jingle, and the footsteps followed by a large shadow that towers above you. Blond hair and hard eyes contemplating you, the mask is gone...
Holy shit. You think.
The only thing that Simon finds comfort in is gone. There's something about him not hiding behind the balaclava that sets deep in your heart. As if he were baring himself to you. Not that you hadn't seen his face before; that's exactly why this is more meaningful. It's serious. He chose to show you how vulnerable you can make him.
"Why?" His stern voice sends shivers down your spine. "I went to check on you and the first thing they say is that you're gone." His lips are pressed in a thin line.
"Simon, it's not what you're thinking..."
"Then bloody tell me what is it." He seethes, taking a step closer. "Was already losing my fucking mind over that bastard hitting you and suddenly you're gone?" He shakes his head. "Had I known you weren't going to fight back..."
"I'm pregnant." You blurt out, interrupting his talk. Simon's jaw clenched, halting and freezing on his spot. "And I'm sorry I didn't come to you as soon as I found out but I was scared." Your lips quiver and you hold back a sob, but unable to do much about the tears. "I was scared to tell you because I know you never wanted any of this, I failed to you. I couldn't sleep, I was panicking and the thought of losing you... I needed time to figure out how to tell you." Simon is silent, he doesn't move nor blinks. He just stares. Memories of his time with his father flooding his mind. He never wanted kids. That's true.
Seeing you there, in front of him. Choking on your words, crying because you thought he'd abandon you like you were nothing? Bloody fucking Christ it breaks his heart. Very few things had that effect on Simon. He had made you fearful of facing this on your own. Did you think you were just his friend with benefits? Someone he'd come to whenever he wanted to get laid? Hadn't you seen the way his eyes roamed over you whenever you were around? Never fucking heard the despair in his voice when you got shot during that black ops in Afghanistan? How he seemed to loom over your presence if some pathetic muppet tried flirting with you? The nights spent in his bedroom, limbs tangled hearing you speak about your day? The mission when he finally realized he was completely and utterly fucking enamored with you?
That time he wouldn't leave your bedside because you were severely wounded and comatose?
"I am not my old man, kid." He states after a few minutes of silence. "And if it wasn't clear already, I'd do anything for you. I don't know shite about being a parent but I'll try, yeah? For you..." he clears his throat. This was as complicated for him as it was for you. "For both of you, I'll try." The words sound strange coming out of his mouth. You close the space between you and hug him, inhaling his scent. He kisses your temple while rubbing soft circles on your back. Relief washes over your body and the tears stop gradually, until it's just the two holding one another during a raging storm of feelings and nature outside.
Soon the tension, the doubts and the anxiety are replaced with reassurance and loving words.
Promises.
Things you never thought you'd hear.
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kneelingshadowsalome · 5 months
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Christian Woman
(König x Nun!Reader)
Word count: 6.4 k Tags/warnings: Pining intensifies, religious despair intensifies, minor injuries, treatment of wounds, crying, enthusiastic kissing, König gets a few boners. 18+ for eventual smut in this story.
A/N: Don't tell me you wouldn't get horny scared too if you saw this tall guy suddenly emerging from the shadows in his full war gear :) There's a cute date night and a lot of angst in this chapter too, I tried to summon an actual plot here... As always, I need to explain why they’re bonking! But smut is coming, next and last chapter will be full of fluff and steamy first times (Reader is virgin!)
Part 2
You have a feeling that this is the last day you’ll see him.
The stranger from the Austrian Alps, the kindest mercenary you’ve ever met – the only mercenary you’ve ever met – the giant soldier who now carries a piece of your heart with him. You wonder if he even knows he owns it.
The morning prayers and mass are a chore and bring you no comfort, and the usual dawn bliss is gone. You find no delight in singing with your sisters, and withdrawing to your cell for solitary prayer feels like stepping back inside your own personal purgatory. 
You’ve been in heaven and in hell for days now. Maybe since the moment you met him...
But at the same time, you know it must’ve been the Lord who brought you together. There must be a reason for God to make you two meet, you refuse to think it’s only because He wishes to tempt you. There must be a bigger plan; the connection, as sinful and carnal as it is, has to serve some higher purpose.
And you wonder if you’re going mad, because your most sinful thought is that you actually see God in him. It’s just your lower instincts speaking, a demon of some sort that tries to misguide you because no man is like Lord Jesus. 
And yet, don’t they always preach that you meet Him in every person you meet? And that through you, other people meet God too…? 
This reasoning feels much better. It solidifies the mercy you’ve longed for during the brief weeks you’ve known this man who brashly calls himself König. You want to believe that he carries a spark of the Divine in him, and that you hold a grain of the Virgin Mary’s compassion and love in you. 
You decide to hold on to this thought: that you were meant to meet so that you could come to know God through each other. For in König, you see a suffering God, a crucified Christ who rises against evil by offering himself to the cruelty of men. Somehow, the image of him as a mortal man starts to twist into a divine, dark trooper, someone who battles the forces of the evil in this world.
And this reasoning leads you to think that it is only natural that you, a Sister of the Faith, have helped him find some rest and relief in the middle of his work. It’s pretty clear that König has found some solace in your company, and even if things have ventured into a forbidden area of low, simple lust, it’s not dark enough to taint the beauty and grace you've felt together. As long as you hold on to this purity, nothing can go wrong.
While praying for both of you that morning, you find yourself replaying the smiles and touches König has given you these past weeks. You know you will drown yourself in memories after he's gone because they are all you’ll ever have of him.
And they're more than enough.
Or at least they should be…
You feel a tiny dagger of guilt push into your heart, the place reserved for Christ, when you’re assigned to do some spiritual reading instead of helping out in the kitchen or organizing the small library. The appointed texts are about falling into temptation and sin, reminding you about the consequences of such actions. You read the passings with a heavy heart and then slip out to meet König, possibly for the last time.
You wear your everyday clothes to the café, and König says nothing about your sudden moral choice, only gives you another longing, enamored once-over. You keep him at arm’s length, both physically and emotionally, and the effects of this unexpected cold shower are immediate. The man doesn’t even try to disguise the sad, puppy-eyed stares he shoots your way. 
You hate it that the bright, playful air of your meetings is gone, and your heart is tearing itself apart in your chest because the only thing you wanted was to spread joy into his world. Even the Lord seems disappointed in you being so cold-hearted, and you can’t bear to see His sadness and suffering in König’s eyes.
You get offered not one, but two coffees today, and a large piece of dark chocolate cake that tastes of pure sin. He talks about how he would love to write to you, but you tell him you can’t be in correspondence with a man who isn’t your brother or father. König isn’t even married, so it would only raise questions – you would find yourself reading spiritual texts about lust and sin until it drives you crazy.
“I’m leaving early tomorrow,” he finally reveals with a voice thick with sorrow. “Can I see you before I go...? One last time?”
“I’d love to, but… I’m sort of being watched,” you say, slowly coming out of your shell to make it clear that you’d want to spend the rest of your life with him, but you simply just can’t.
Your weak, apologetic look is like a dose of confidence shot through his veins because the face opposite of you brightens immediately. König’s whole posture gets a hopeful uplift.
“Just for a little walk...? To see what the city looks like in the evening?”
“I don’t know if I can make it… I have to work until six... And attend the evening prayer at seven. And then silence starts at eight…” 
You’re wringing your hands under the table while you explain, hoping König will come up with a solution to this dilemma.
“We can go for a walk after silence, then,” he shrugs.
“I–I can’t just escape from the window.”
“...Why not?”
You look at König; he looks straight back.
The man’s serious about you sneaking out your window at night; he’s actually serious, even if there’s a dark, playful smile rising on his lips. 
“I can help,” he grins.
Your heart cracks open, it shoots full of light only more and more with that smile. König doesn’t need to ram a door down and shoot his way through your chest; all he has to do is sneak inside your heart and take the place that belongs to God. You don’t even feel the difference as he makes himself at home. 
Well, actually, you do... It’s like your Christ’s love and mercy have finally come to flesh and blood before you. They're materialized in the man sitting opposite of you, bouncing his knee excitedly and grinning like the most innocent little devil on Earth.
You find yourself whispering “Ok”, and the whole world shifts. 
You take a step towards something forbidden but great, your whole heart starts to sing along with life. You haven’t even done the actual thing yet but you’re already filled with bubbling laughter and excitement. If only your friend could see you now, about to do things she probably did when she was fifteen...
But everything feels so right that it can’t be a sin – if it is, it just so happens to be the most natural, most divine thing to do too.
If this is the last day you’ll ever see him, you can surely steal a tiny moment for yourself and forget about rights and wrongs for a moment. Just forget about the rules, and live in the actual world for a few hours, breathe the worldly air, see what normal people do and pretend you’re one of them, for just one night. 
You feel like Cinderella when picking clothes for the evening.
You rummage through the only closet in your room – during the time that should be spent in silent prayer before bed – and notice you still have your old jeans.
They’re light blue and still fit; actually, they fit more than well... You know that König’s eyes will be glued to your butt when you’re not looking.
You have completely forgotten how nice you look in jeans, and it’s the Devil talking, making you admire yourself in tight denim like this. You never cared about how you look before; you certainly never gave much thought to how men see you or if they’re checking out your butt or breasts. Now you’re grooming yourself like never before, trying to decide what to do with your hair as if your life depended on it.
You choose a simple, black t-shirt to pair with the jeans and not make it too obvious that you’re trying to flaunt yourself. It hugs your form but is otherwise plain, and for some people, your choice of clothing is probably their regular work outfit. To you, it feels like you’re about to go out to seduce everyone.
Everything’s so tight and earthly; everything’s so… there. Visible... Touchable.
Lord, have mercy on me. I know I’m weak. But please let me have this, just this once…
And König has seen you without makeup all this time, so what on earth has possessed you to lament the fact that you don’t own a single case of lipstick? You’d kill for a few sweeps of mascara, too, just to bat your lashes at a silly man.
It’s not a date, you remind yourself.
It’s not a date... It’s not a date. You’re just going to have a short walk with him.
And you fear that accepting König’s “help” was a mistake. If you get caught with a man on the convent perimeter, you’ll get your ass thoroughly whooped…
Can a man of his size even keep quiet?
He probably suggested it so that you wouldn’t chicken out of this. If König is at your window by 8 and there’s no sign of you, he’ll probably just come in, throw you on his shoulder and jump out. He knows where your window is located now, and surely has some questionable skills due to his profession, skills you know nothing about, but you’re still about to have a panic attack from pure excitement when the clock strikes 8. 
You push the window ajar and settle on the sill to keep watch, gasping when you hear his familiar accent down below as soon as the window is open.
“Kätzchen...”
“König…?”
You peek down and meet his stupid, grinning face – God, he’s so happy to see you kept your promise. His eyes are shining, his fingers interlock to help you have something to place your foot on. 
“Here, kitty, kitty…”
You could easily jump out the window without hurting yourself, but of course he wants to help you since you were so kind to tell him where he could come and "pick you up".
But to see that playful smile and hear him trying to coax you out like you’re some skittish little kitten…
Could a grown man get any more silly?
You wiggle yourself out the window, trying to ignore the fact that he’s probably staring at your butt, still grinning like crazy while you do it. 
SupportING your entire weight like it’s no trouble at all, he helps you down. You’ve never been this close to him since you bumped into him: you have to take support from his shoulders as you search for a footing, and he scoops you in his arms the minute both your feet are safely on the ground.
“I knew you’d come,” he purrs with joy, and you place your hands on his chest – not to keep him at bay, but to touch him in a way that is as appropriate as possible when a man is hugging you like this.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” you whisper, still unsure if this is the best or the worst decision of your entire life.
“Kitty… Live a little, hmm?”
You have to crane your neck to look up at him – you’re not sure if you’re in the embrace of Jesus or Lucifer because the warmth of those eyes compare to the love of God, but they also make you weak and helpless. Whenever you’re with your sisters, the feeling is pure, pristine love, not a surge of complex emotions and thrill like it is with König.
“You’re a bad influence,” you breathe – König only laughs, and the grip around you tightens. 
“My lady. You’re the one who climbed out the window.”
“Because someone would’ve probably thrown small rocks on it if I hadn’t…!”
“Natürlich. And if that didn’t work… A serenade or two. Do you like love songs?” 
You look down at his chest, smiling, heart fluttering at the thought of a silly Austrian man serenading under your window. You have no trouble imagining him singing something syrupy in German, waking everyone up with his racket.
“You’re crazy, did you know that...?” 
“Sure. They tell me that all the time at work. Aber du… Du bist süss.” 
“...What’s that?” 
His smile only widens as he takes in your lips, your neck, the tight shirt that finally gives him something more to look at.
“You’re cute.”
The whole evening is heavenly. 
It’s everything you’ve ever wanted from a date and more.
He doesn’t take you for a short walk, oh no. He takes you out to eat, at some lively restaurant where they serve delicious, artisan, wood-fired pizzas. You have créme brûlée for dessert, and König gives you his strawberries when he notices you eat them first, but only on one condition: you have to let him feed them to you one by one. 
He buys you a rose: a big, red, plump one. No man has ever bought you flowers before, and even if you love lush, abundant bouquets, the fact that he chose you a single red rose after you’ve spoken about the beauty of simplicity, doesn't escape you.
König hasn’t only listened to you these past few weeks: he gets you. And how symbolic is it that he chose a rose that’s also tied to all the mysteries of God?
You walk the streets with a flower in one hand and his palm in the other. It's a holy trinity of him and you and the Great Mystery, it’s passion and it’s thorns, it’s blood and beauty and pain, and you feel like he just gets you; he knows you through and through. 
You pass by an outdoor bar with live music, and the place is so crowded that people are dancing on the streets. No cars honk as they slowly pass by the scene, the music and the laughing, dancing pairs make even the grumpiest passersby smile.
It shouldn’t be a surprise that König pulls you to him before you get to escape the scene. You’re drawn flush against his chest, hips colliding with his, hands finding each other in a slow sway that has never even seen the steps of Latin dances.
“Nuns are allowed to dance, no?” 
He smiles dreamily, enveloped in the same sweet haze as you.
“Not with a man,” you correct, but don’t even bother to push him away. Instead, you let König guide his hand down your waist and draw you closer. If this isn't a date, you don't know what is...
“I can take the blame,” he says. “You can tell everybody it was me.”
“It doesn’t work that way,” you laugh. 
“Why not?” 
His eyes are glued to yours, making you warm all over, so much so that you feel like you’re burning from the neck up. You guide your stare down to his chest, then over to the quick heartbeat on his neck.
He's nervous, too... Your cruel soldier is nervous, and kind, and shy because he's pressed against you.
You rest your head there on his chest, watching the golden sunset far away, painting the rooftops with a genial glow. Your heart is made of molten gold, too, as you allow yourself find a home in his embrace.
“I can take your sins,” he promises above you. “Jesus did that too, right?”
“You’re not Jesus,” you smile against his shirt – black, always black...
“Are you sure? I would go to hell for you.”
Your dance comes to a halt as you swallow and lift your gaze. The smiles are gone now, both yours and his. He’s so close now he could touch your lips with his if he wanted to.
And he does want to.
You don’t shy away as he leans down to kiss you. It’s chaste at first, a slow exploration, but then he opens your mouth with his, demanding, hot, intoxicating. You melt in his arms, and he somehow supports you through it all, turning the dance into an embrace and the decent little kiss into a full French one.
It’s hot and wet and slow, so, so passionate that your knees are about to give in. You devour him back, feel how he grows hard against your stomach – the swelling erection makes you dizzy before you come to your senses, but only barely.
You break away an inch, panting into his mouth while he’s panting into yours. What a blessing that you don’t own any lipstick; both of your lips are red without it…
“This is–”
“Inappropriate?”
His voice is husky, and sends a flood of wetness down between your legs. Your heart is racing, but you can’t even note how terribly alive you are before he attacks your lips again.
The kiss is even more desperate than the first one, and the slow urgency is gone. His mouth leaves you without air, and then – he wraps his arms around you and picks you up from the ground like you weigh nothing. Your hands get squished somewhere between you, naturally coming to cup his face as you kiss him back. 
It’s eager, pure lust, so powerful and needy that it scorches through your chest and ties your heartstrings into tight little knots, makes your brows knit together, too.
He grunts into your mouth, sensing you’re more than up for this after all. You let him see the full depth of your hunger and your lust, just waiting to be released and taken – made love to until you’re both sore and messy and limp.
God… This is better than God…
You hear whistles and whoos in the distance, some men yelling, “Let’s go!” and “Get a room” while they pass by. Realizing you’ve fallen into a dream trap of strong arms and needy lips about to depart tomorrow, you know it's something you could have had years ago, perhaps, but not anymore. You'll lose everything if you break your vows tonight: basically, you’ve already broken them, but no permanent damage has been done.
You can still turn back if you turn back now…
You push yourself away, push him away, heart clenching when you see his adoring, love-drunk, half-lidded stare.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper, fighting back tears as you come down from your high. “I just–I can’t…”
He breathes labouriously, still clutching you against him, holding you in the air like you’re the thing he has searched for his entire life and now, finally discovered… Only to be told that he now has to put it back where he found it. 
You’re crying by the time he sets you down, and you have no heart or will to pull away. Instead, you bury your face in his chest and cry your fill in his shirt. It’s soon damp from your tears as König hugs and supports you through his own stoic heartbreak.
“I’m sorry... I’m sorry…”
You repeat it until you can’t repeat it anymore, bawling in his chest while the world around you continues to spin despite your heaven and hell, despite your vows, despite your stupid devotion. The world revolves like it always has, as you choose a crucified man over the one who’s flesh and blood and holds you through your pain.
“Kätzchen, don’t cry,” he pets your hair while you sniffle and tremble in his embrace. You know this is not the last time you will cry your heart out over him, but knowing it doesn't help you when he offers you his last, bittersweet comfort.
“It was a good dream while it lasted...”
The rose withers in your cell.
You turn it upside down and tie it to the curtain rod to prevent it from dropping its petals. It dries beautifully and keeps its bloodred colour, now reminding you of both Jesus and him. 
There hasn’t been a word from König in months, and of course there hasn’t. You denied his wish to write you, and the dried rose is the only thing left of your time with him. 
In the first weeks, it’s hard to keep up a charade. You show up to prayer, work and mass with red eyes, revealing to everyone that you’re going through a loss of some sort. Somewhere during the first week, the abbess summons you to meet her and you brace yourself for a scolding.
God knows you don’t need the rebuke, and when you close the door and turn to face the symbolic mother of the convent, you end up breaking into tears right in front of her.
“Whatever you were up to, my child, I am glad that it is over now,” she says with all the gentleness of the world. 
“Me too,” your voice breaks, and when the abbess extends her hands, you go to her, fall to your knees, and have another heartwrenching cry with your face in her lap.
You’ve denied yourself love and mercy for days, expecting to be expelled or shamed or ridiculed, but mercy is what you’re offered now, even after you’ve sinned.
The abbess caresses your hair just as softly as König did just days ago, and the fact that her kind gesture reminds you of some silly, infatuated soldier, only makes the breakdown worse. You bawl like a little child who’s deprived of candy, and you don’t even have the strength to berate yourself for it.
“I hope you haven’t done anything irredeemable...?” 
“No... Nothing happened,” you sob and look out of the rose window, desperate for sun while your head rests on a gentle but distant lap. 
Nothing happened except the most sinful, beautiful, lustful kiss of your life... Nothing happened except that you saw this man every time you could, held hands with him, swam in his smiles and affection, and went to bed with thoughts inappropriate for any human being. 
“The world tests us in many ways... But Lord never tests us. He only loves us.”
Something in that sentence finally quenches the neverending flow of tears. Your muscles start to relax, and you remember that this is the eternal truth: to surrender, over and over again, to a power far greater than you. 
The abbess never asks for details about what you have done. She never tells you you have sinned; you don’t need to be told that. The punishment has been dealt already: whoever ties herself to this world and its temptations will suffer exactly like this when the passion and excitement ends. The key to escaping its grip is to simply let go first, once and for all, surrender to the love of God, and trust that everything fill fall into place eventually.
“You must offer your mind and body to work now,” the motherly voice speaks above you. “Work, time and prayer will ease your pain.”
Work, time and prayer do ease the pain. 
They ease all pains, but it takes almost six months to stop thinking about him every hour of every day.
You’re proud of yourself when you find out one day that you haven’t thought about him at all. He just now crossed your mind when you remember how he used to smell: of salty seabreeze mixed with intoxicating musk, the scent of excitement and safety all in one. 
You could almost swear you catch a whiff of that particular scent in the yard when you go and water the flowers one evening, but it can’t be: he’s gone, and there’s nothing you can do about it, nothing you even want to do about it because you already made your choice. This path leads you to greater peace of mind in the long run, and you know you made the right decision even if it hurt you and König.
Sunsets still remind you of him, the colour of rose and gold mixed with endings, but the memories are now laced with bittersweet love rather than blunt despair and pain. The times you spent with him are a collection of brief, blissful moments, and you treasure every single one of them in your heart. You still pray for him, not every day, but nearly every day. You touch the rose when the hurt reaches its peak, but the last time you did that was almost a week ago.
And you thought you had forgotten his scent, but apparently, you have not. In fact, it seems to drift to your nose again, which is odd because you’re outside, after all…
“Kätzchen.” 
A whisper is hissed from the shadows just as you’re about to straighten and investigate, because either you’re going crazy or then there’s someone here who smells exactly like him.
You startle and almost drop the watering can, staring straight into the shadows under your window. The tallest man you’ve ever seen steps out from the dark in full combat gear, and while you can’t see his face because it’s covered with a draping black hood, you recognize it’s him simply from the way he moves. 
“Don’t be afraid. It’s me,” he rasps and tries to straighten from the slightly hunched position he’s in, but immediately falls back, then slants to lean on the wall. His gear is dirty, and he holds the side of his stomach with one hand, the lively blue eyes either drunk or very very tired.
“Dear God… What happened to you?”
You abandon the watering can and rush to him; it’s useless to ask if he’s injured when, clearly, he’s trying to prevent himself from slumping to the ground. 
He’s enormous and intimidating even when wounded, a soldier loaded with ammo and weapons and protective paddings and guards, wearing a hood and a helmet and a radio of some sort, his tactical gloves bloody and eyes droopy. The weapon by his side is almost half as tall as you, and God – is that a grenade strapped to his vest?
“I got compromised,” König looks down at the wound but doesn’t remove his hand. He looks so different, like another man entirely when he’s not dressed in his customary olive green pants and a casual black t-shirt. He seems even buffier now, even taller, so terrifying that you wonder if you ever even knew this man.
You must look like a frightened deer because König mistakes your horrified look as sweet, simple concern.
“Don’t worry... They have it much worse, I assure you,” he says with his usual grin – you can hear it from the way he says it that he’s smiling. But it’s so weary now, so exhausted and frail compared to his confident, playful laughs and that husky voice with which he spoke to you after your kiss.
“I came to ask for help,” he continues under his breath, wobbling even when leaning against a wall. “You’re the only one I can… trust.”
“Of course, anything. I will do anything I can.”
His eyes smile down at you from behind the executioner’s veil. It’s that same devoted stare you’ve been trying to dispel for months now. You give yourself a quick mental shake, then tell him to wait here while you go in and call for an ambulance. 
König bounces off the wall and seizes your hand, telling you he can’t go to a hospital and that, if anything, he must avoid any kind of public places. You don’t ask any further questions, even if you know you’re in a pickle now, and not only because those glacial eyes are making your knees weak again. There’s nothing much you can do: he’s wounded and still in danger, saying he can’t trust anyone else. Of course you have to help him in any way you can. If he says it’s not safe, then you must help him get somewhere where it is safe. 
And besides, aren’t you a nun? You’re supposed to help those in need. 
So when he asks you if there are any motels or a bed & breakfast nearby, you say you know just the place. 
It makes your heart bleed that König takes support from you while you slowly make your way down the street. A man of his size, a body trained to withstand whatever his job throws at him, seeking support from a frail little nun… It’s a joke, indeed, and a horrid one. 
When you get to the small place run by a humble old man, you don’t know who to feel more sorry for: the elder behind the counter or König, desperately trying to stay on his feet.
“I mean no trouble,” he says while pushing an unnerving amount of money across the table. “I just need a place to rest.”
The receptionist’s eyes dart to you, then back to König, who still has what you suppose is a loaded rifle dangling by his waist. The safety is on, probably, but there are also knives and grenades strapped to his person, and with that hood, he mainly looks like a terrorist of some sort.
“She’s here to help. See...? Bride of Christ. Even less trouble than I am.” 
You try to smile reassuringly as the man risks a better look at you now instead of being fixated on König or his weapons.
You must make an odd pair, a soldier and a nun... The old man probably has a ton of questions in his head right now.
“No shooting,” he says to you, but his words are directed at König.
“No shooting,” he promises. “No mess if no one knows we’re here. Ok...? You’ve never even seen us.”
The receptionist nods. Then he extends a trembling hand and takes the money, and hands out a key without taking any check-in information.
You go to König and help him up the small stairs and into his room paid with bloody money and a menacing appearance. The fitted carpet is old, and floral patterned, the room small and adorable and meant for visitors far more petite than König. The bedspread is old-fashioned and floral too and has never even seen blood, of that you are sure when König lays himself down with a grunt. 
You spend the next minutes – or hours, you can’t tell – in a tunnel-visioned fog as you do exactly as he says.
You help him out of his gear and weapons and lay them aside quickly but gently, you cut his shirt with an ugly-looking knife, then get a watered towel for him to press against the wound. You rush back to his tactical vest and search for a first aid kit and some medicine, and start to treat his wounds per his advice.
The sun sets in the window, and you patch up your injured soldier with care, trusting his word when he says it’s only a flesh wound and that it looks far worse than it is.
“I should get shot more often,” he purrs when you’re cleaning the rest of the blood off his skin.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” you scold, trying to focus on your task and not the vast plates that make his chest. Or the thick abs, right there under your fingertips… Or the fact that he has incredibly narrow hips, and a luscious breath of dark hair leading from his navel down and underneath the waistband of his pants. 
You suppose this is what your friend calls a happy trail...
And it does make you very happy.
You don’t dare to look beyond that because the pants he usually wears aren’t as tight as these, and you fear he’ll catch you checking out his junk in an attempt to see if your friend was correct about his size. 
To your blessing – or your curse – you don’t even have to look straight at it to see he’s having an erection. You can actually see from the corner of your eye how König grows hard while you’re treating him – it’s right there, a robust tent that rises beside you while you concentrate on wiping off the blood. 
“Pay no mind to that,” he says thickly and completely without shame. “It just happens… Can’t control it.”
He breathes a bit too heavy for someone who’s lying down, and you fear it’s because of the blood loss. But then you start to suspect it’s probably because all the remaining blood has gone between his legs… He doesn’t even try to tone down the heated, obsessive stares he shoots your way, and you suppose he’s either missed you very much, or then there’s a fever rising after all. You’re not sure if you’re glad or disappointed that the bullet didn’t scrape his leg instead.
“I missed you,” he says like he just read your thoughts. He whispers the sentence slowly and with purpose, saying it like a long-withheld secret.
“I missed you too,” you whisper back. 
Gosh… Here you are, a silly little nun who’s tried to get over a crush for six months, crying after him at night and caressing his rose during the day. You’ve been petting a withering flower some mercenary gave you in hopes of getting into your pants, you’ve fawned over memories of a few smiles and a kiss, all the while the said mercenary has killed people for money and now got shot. He came here to work again, but never sent a message, he only came to see you when he was injured… 
...And you’re glad he did. If a bullet was needed to bring him back to you, then you’re grateful for it, no matter how horrible it is.
“Did you ever… find someone?” You ask while keeping your gaze fixed on his navel instead of the raging bulge in his pants.
“Someone, who?”
“Someone to hold hands with.”
He gives a strained laugh. “Ah. No. No time for that.”
You swallow, and slowly guide your eyes to his.
“Are you still happy with your crucified man?”
Ouch.
“I… I don’t know.”
His brows knit together; you can see it even in the dim light of the table lamp, you can see it even if there’s some godforsaken black war paint all over his face under that hood.
There’s a distant hurt in his eyes before he blinks softly, slowly.
“I wrote to you, Braut Christi... Many times. Never sent the letters… They’re still in my room, at the base.”
Your heart skips a beat. 
He hasn’t had “time” for women, yet has written you letters all these months. He’s written letters while you’ve caressed a rose…. 
You wonder if hearts can find each other, even through a distance, and if you’ve felt the urge to go to the flower he gave you at the same time König has gotten the desire to write another letter to you. It’s bittersweet, like this whole thing between you two, the mystery that both brings you together and rips you apart. 
“I wish I hadn’t… I wish I...” you start, but can’t bring yourself to finish.
“Liebling. I should’ve sent them anyway.”
You go get rid of the bloodied paper towels before you start to cry in front of him.
God… You’re not only in a pickle, you’re neck-deep in trouble, and you only notice you forgot to wash your hands when you return to him.
He reaches for your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. Peace settles in, even if there’s blood on your hands and the man you adore is lying next to you, patched up with the help of a first aid kit when he should be lying in a hospital, receiving treatment and care.
There’s a knife and a pistol tucked under the bedspread, next to his hand, and the fact that he’s still prepared to fight anyone who tries to come through that door underlines the fact that you two come from very different worlds. König is more than just a rose buying, coffee offering gentleman, he's more than just a silly guy who threatens to sing serenades under your window if you don’t come out to play with him.
You’re not sure if you’re more enamoured or scared.
“You’re an angel,” he rasps from the bed as you try to swallow the tears that refuse to go down.
“No I’m not.” 
“Yes, you are.”
A teardrop falls on the innocent floral bedspread as you wish you were in this room as a married couple instead of an injured, horny soldier and a childish nun in love. Spending your honeymoon or something, getting some rest after an eventful day in town, choosing this absurd old Bed & Breakfast as your place to stay for the night.
You wish you were doing anything else than treating his wounds, lethal or not.
“Are you crying?”
His voice is gentler than you even remembered. Six months of despair have turned him into a dark, alluring trickster when he’s really just a man, a big, amazing, tender man who’s multifaceted, multitalented, and always kind.
He's about to fall asleep, and it’s no wonder. The events of the evening have left you drained, too. You kneel beside his bed, too tired to even sit on a chair, wondering if he’ll die from his wounds tonight or get hunted down by the people who still want him dead. 
“I wish you would stop killing people... I wish you would stop getting killed.” 
You must look silly, kneeling beside a giant soldier’s bed, crying and holding his hand between yours as if praying. But his eyes smile at you, and while you’d want nothing more than to see his face again, you realise you kind of like König this way. Masked and menacing and mean to his enemies, but stripped down to his soul when he’s with you.
“I wish you would stop praying... And start living,” he mutters gently.
“Praying helps sometimes,” you whisper.
In truth, you wish you’d start living, too. You always thought you were brave when you said ‘no’ to the world. Perhaps you were only running away from it…
The hand is warm but not feverish. His breaths start to even, and his lids get heavier; his thumb gives you a small caress before he drifts off to sleep.
“Perhaps that’s why I’m still here, Kätzchen.”
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hazelfoureyes · 18 days
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Ho, ho, ho~! I hope your vibrators are fully charged, cause this one's gonna have yall going full ahegao~! If not, then you'd best get those babies plugged in before continuing. Consider this your only warning... ;D
"Oh? Have I managed to shut up the big, scary Radio Demon?" You asked, the reaction your movements pulled from Alastor going straight to your head and to your core. A smirk danced across your face as you traced the tips of your fingers from the crevice between his clavicles down his sternum to the indentation of his navel and even further south, following the tufts of hair that was the beginning of his happy trail*.
Eyes shooting open at your little taunt, Alastor raised his head to look at you sitting pretty on his cock, shadows swirling around you and the sclera of his eyes flashing black for just a moment. "Hah! Only in your dreams, my sweet..." he breathed out just before you raised your hips and slammed them back down in the next moment, voice thick with that staticky radio filter that made him stand out from the rest (among other things). He clenched his jaw, teeth grinding in the same manner as your hips on his pelvis. Closing his eyes, he took a moment to compose himself before opening them once more, his sclera having shifted back to their usual red.
"Besides, my voice is one of the things you love best about me. You would- nnghh fuck! ... You would HATE-" Alastor started, feeling a little mischievous as he planted his hooves (feet?) into the bed and delivered a solitary, brutal thrust - one hard enough to knock you forward and force your hands to either side of his head. "-If I stopped talking," he called your bluff, a soft chuckle reverberating through his chest as his other hand found your hip.
"God damn you..." you mumbled, fighting back a smile as you stared down at him. He was right. It was just one thing on a very long list, but his voice was one of your favorite things about him. Even better was the unexpected shock you received whenever he would suddenly drop the radio filter and all you heard was pure, unadulterated Alastor. As if he had been reading your mind, the deer demon pulled you from your thoughts with another thrust and a few words without his famous filter. "God has no place here. You know that," Alastor groaned as you raised your hips, deciding to give him a small taste of his own medicine. Slamming your hips down again, you smirked once more as he released a sharp gasp followed by a drawn out moan as you started to build a pace. "Oh fuuuck meee... D-darling...- nghhhaha...- please-" he moaned out as the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room once more.
Alastor raised one of his hands to rest on the back of your head, digits threading themselves through your tangled strands as he began to buck up into you - heavy balls slapping against the fat of your ass with a 'pap! pap! pap!' sound. He drew your face closer to his, pressing your foreheads together while he used you as a cocksleeve, the remnants of your previous releases creating strings connecting his thighs to your ass. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Hoh-ooohh shiiiittt!" He moaned out in time with each thrust, eyes rolling into the back of his head as he started to lose himself once more in the way your sweet pussy clenched and pulsated around his throbbing dick.
"Hah! Hah! Fuh-... uhah!! Ala-... Al-... Hah! Ah!" You cried, nails digging into the sheets beneath his head, losing what little control you had before he started this bruising pace. "Oh fuck, ohhh fuuuckkk..." Alastor breathed out, that familiar knot in the pits of his belly tightening more and more with every slam, every thrust to your soaking cunt. "You're gonna make me-... mmpphhhoh shit! Make me cum!"
* he SO has a happy trail~ I just can't decide if it's red or black. But I KNOW he puts conditioner on it, so it's not all wiry and scratchy when you go down oh him ahaaa~ 🥴
MINK, GURL YOUR MERCY COMMENT WAS ONE OF MY BIGGEST REASONS FOR THINKING UP MORE ADDITIONS OF COURSE YOU'RE IN THE LOOP! You'll never not be in the loop my love, your reactions are pure gold and give me life~! Besides I gotta give something back, make yall feel the same way I do when I read anything you post! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
btw it's literally killing me rn that I can't interact publicly with any of yall's stuff. I wanted to wait until I was in the final stages of writing the planned fics I have for each of you, but I don't think I can hold on to my anonymity much longer! YOUR MINDS ARE JUST SO BEAUTIFUL JFC HOW DID I FIND NOT ONE BUT THREE?! AND IN THE SAME FANDOM?!?! LIKE HOW?!?!?!?!?!
Danny baby your puns have me rolling omfg 🤣 I swear I'mma think of one or bring in some outside help (dad jokes ftw!) that's gonna knock you dead holy shit- BRING IT ON HUNNY PUN. LET'S DO THIS 💖💥 ... I'll see myself out 🤣
- ☄️❤️ Smut Santa
「He drew your face closer to his, pressing your foreheads together while he used you as a cocksleeve」
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あああああ
I LOVE BEING USED AS A COCKSLEEVE HOW DID YOU KNOW SMUT SANTA— SMUNTA? SMANTA. SMUT CLAUS
SAINT DICKOLAUS
Summoning @minkdelovely @sugoi-writes
Also a doe in fall part 6 also has reader riding, heavy balls, and forehead touches??? Get outta my fucking head???
(Smut Santa: @synamartia) 
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cosmictheo · 1 month
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𝐎𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒 | 𝐟𝐞𝐲𝐝-𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐧
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(gif credits to @pascow)
— summary: feyd-rautha was used to have whatever he wanted, it was well known, but so were you; what you desired, was already yours. and what you crave right now, is him. —pairing: feyd-rautha harkonnen x female!reader —word count: 1.5k —warnings: death, mentions of killing, blood, fighting (yk the usual feyd), just the reader and feyd-rautha being horny and a slut for each other.
writer’s note: english is not my mother tongue, so please forgive me if there is a grammatical error. hope you like it!
yes, i'm finally back!! dune part 2 has dragged me out of my cave and has given me inspiration like never before.
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Feyd-Rautha was psychotic. Everyone knew it, perhaps the whole galaxy was aware of his very eccentric... preferences and appetites. He was well known for his immaculate and animalistic way of fighting, of destroying anyone who dared to present themselves as his enemy, of anyone who would dare to challenge him. But he was also honorable, proud and loyal to his beliefs, perhaps too self-confident for your own liking.
But every strong man had a weakness, a weakness that could bring them to their knees, to yield, to be left vulnerable. You were Feyd's weakness, rather, his strength, his fortitude, the fire in his veins, the beating of his heart. And it was quite strange and utterly unimaginable to think that someone like Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen would have any feelings at all, there were those who firmly believed that he didn't even have a heart, not even a soul, that he was a demon in human form, a ruthless and bloodthirsty beast, the worst of the worst.
But there you were to prove otherwise.
It had been your idea to actually take him as a husband. Your parents disagreed, of course, for they thought you would be better off alone, after all, you were one of the strongest women alive, you didn't need any man or woman by your side. They called you the Golden Dragon, someone with too much power for this world, you had abilities that the world could not really understand yet, connections with the universe that could not even begin to be explained, the last descendant of one of the most ancient Houses, one that had vanished in time, detached from battles and senseless wars for power, a House that was recognized by that flag with the roaring and menacing red dragon on a golden field. That ancient beast that many thought extinct... until you came to Giedi Prime riding one. 
And you had arrived just on his coming of age day, where his favorite ceremony was battles, of course.
You watched him fight the Atreides men from your seat, your mother and father sitting at your sides, watching him as well, all in silence. Your eyes followed his every move, not even pausing for a second to watch the other poor men being annihilated, no, for your attention was solely on Feyd-Rautha, noting the predatory nature of his steps, his precise and powerful movements, eyes darkened with delight, eager for more death and blood. 
"He is a good warrior" Your father commented looking at him in awe as well.
"Too much so, I'd say" Your mother added in a naturally stern voice, distrustful dark eyes, observing the gory spectacle.
"He was born for it" Your father continued to comment, turning his head so he could look at you for a few seconds "For slaughter and death. Only to bring that."
"I think he's cute" you finally stated your opinion, voice low and serene, not even having the audacity to look at your parents, for you didn't have to look at them to know that they were both giving you horrified and scandalized looks now. 
Your father muttered your name in a warning tone of voice.
"He would look good in our home. He's built for fighting and protect, just like us." You explained, finally detaching your eyes from Feyd-Rautha, who had just killed the last Atreides standing, unleashing a wave of applause, praise and cheers from the audience. "Don't you think so, father?"
Your look was almost defiant, and yet composed, and your father took it as a challenge, but he would never be so foolish as to show any disagreement with you, for what the dragon princess desired, she had.
So, after sharing a short glance with your mother, he gave you a short nod of his head.
"I do."
And so it was settled.
Feyd-Rautha, for his own part, saw you and knew you were meant to be his.  He had heard of you, of course, his uncle used to insist that he must behave himself once your family arrived, for you were worthy of having the full respect of House Harkonnen, and that losing you as allies was not an option at all. So behave he did... or at least he tried to.
"I dreamed of you last night." 
Was the first thing he said to you, both found in one of the large, dark halls of his home, just a couple of hours after his victorious fight in the arena. The Baron and your father were in an important and pending meeting in which neither your presence nor Feyd's was required, because the whole focus of it was the two of you, and a possible marriage to ensure the alliance and heritage.
His eyes were barely distinguishable with the all the thick blackness surrounding him, his pupils dilated with desire, hands clasped behind his back, as inflexible as ever. He had put his all into making a good impression, his uncle had ordered him to, and Feyd was quite obedient when it came to the Baron's wishes. He was so loyal to that foul man that you thought it was something no better described than adorable. 
The thing was that, as powerful and menacing as he was, he was just another man, another pawn into this colossal game of power and thrones. And you felt rather pity for him.
"Na-baron." You greeted him somewhat pragmatically, turning fully towards him, golden eyes gleaming even amidst all the darkness through your gold mask. "It was a good dream, I hope."
"(Y/N) Pazuk, princess." He just took the satisfaction of deliciously savoring the name of your House, pronouncing it in that husky, deep voice of his. He also had the courage to move closer to you, rising from the wall and stepping cautiously, holding your gaze, looking down on you as if you were prey, a small helpless animal under his looming shadow. He then reflected, thinking about choosing the most suitable words... and the most appropriate ones "It was a very good dream."
You were in his territory, his planet, you knew it well and so did he, you were walking straight into the mouth of the hungry beast. Everything that was there belonged to him, he controlled it all and saw it all. 
And everything he was seeing now was you. And he was intrigued, captivated even. Because he usually encountered boring and vulgar people, people who were nowhere near his level, people who he liked to torture and make bleed to death. And the thing was, you happened to stand on his level, and even higher.
"Tell me more." You had the courage to order him in a soft tone of voice. He knew instantly that you were testing him, he was smart and knew how to read people well... but you, you were different, he could see it too, you were much more complex than other people. And he was delighted.
A hint of a phantom smile tugged at the corner of his lips just as he stood in front of you, posture rigid and dominant. "You showed me the way. The right way. The way of victory, the way of life."
You swallowed spit slowly and he noticed it, for his eyes descended to your throat for a few moments before rising again to your face, analyzing every expression that passed through your gaze, every gesture of your lips, every sign you allowed him to see.
Then he twisted his head slightly, face turning somewhat mischievous. "You think I'm scary, princess?"
Now it was his turn to test you.
He watched as your lips parted before responding, raising your voice with pure confidence, naturally, holding his dark gaze. "I think you're quite the opposite really, Feyd-Rautha."
He was silent for a few moments, long moments in which he simply gazed at you intently, with his full attention on you, on your body, almost as if he was looking at your pure soul.
"You are my destiny." He finally uttered, you could hear how his voice had wavered more for softness than harshness this time. "Show me the way, my princess."
You managed to feel the warmth of his body against yours. For someone so cold and distant, his body was hot and warm like fire.
"Are you going to ask for my hand?" You ask in a small voice, feeling suddenly intimidated by his closeness. There were very few who dared to stand so close to you, yet there he was, threatening your personal space. "Because here I am, na-Baron."
Before I could answer you anything, you spoke again, twisting your head slightly, barely narrowing your eyes. "You think I'm scary, my lord?"
He had never been so profoundly proud and thrilled by his title as he was at that moment, when you slowly modulated it with your tongue like a purr, your voice tastefully savoring it.
"I think you are beautiful." He immediately responded. "And I want you to be mine."
And so, fate had done it's work.
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mammonieruless · 3 months
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OLDER BROTHERS’ PAST RELATIONSHIP HCS
Lucifer: 100% a virgin
I’ve seen many people agree on him being incredibly experienced when it comes to hookup culture, but I headcanon him to be quite the opposite. He is the avatar of pride himself; he would be wayyyyyy too prideful to offer himself as an one-night stand, no matter who the person might be. there will be exceptions when it comes to Diavolo, of course. He has never been in a serious relationship either; the man has no experience whatsoever. Aside from never having the time to pursue someone and build a connection with them because of his duties, he would be wayyyyy too scared and worried about bringing someone home only for them to harm his beloved brothers or his reputation. Mammon might be MC’s "first,” but MC is definitely Lucifer’s first. It is a match made in hell. All mc had to do was to live with him and his brothers for the entirety of the exchange program, which meant he didn’t have to go out of his way to make time to meet someone, and with time, they both grew on each other, the chemistry grew, and naturally, a strong connection formed without him ever needing to force any of it.
Mammon: He has done everything for quick cash, including sleeping with every living being that could hand him money. Even when cash is not involved, it is canon that he is a model and a party monster, so easy quick club, casino hookups are not a shocker. Out of all the brothers, him and Levi are the only ones who are the most experienced when it comes to serious relationships. Since he wears his heart on his sleeve, all the serious relationships he’s been in ended badly because his partners took advantage of him. Satan, in season one, commented that if Mammon likes someone enough, they will be showered with the richest, but if he breaks it off, then they will be left without a single penny. Knowing that many, especially his exes, only had money hearts in their eyes when they looked at Mammon, despite him pouring his heart out to them, they only viewed him as an ATM. I also headcanon that his tsundere behaviour wasn’t always there; he just started to act like that because many of his exes laughed behind his back, calling him easy, naive, and easy to trick into falling in love, thus leading him to develop this tsundere-like behaviour towards the person he likes to come off as cold, hard to get, and not easy to fool. Though he fails at acting cold and harsh towards MC, he doesn’t act all shy, blushy, or tsundere-like towards his hookups. As he doesn’t feel anything towards them, they only see a very confident, arrogant, bad boy side of him, which MC doesn’t know about.
Levi: Since he is a big anime nerd, he has high standards when it comes to dating and completely rejects hookup culture. All the romance anime he watches really set the bar high for him and makes him somewhat delusional. He has only been in a couple of serious relationships, which were all online, but unlike Mammon, some of his past lovers truly loved him for who he is but didn’t love him enough to keep up with his jealousy and his need to be reassured 24/7. Some might’ve seen him as an easy ticket to get up there in devildom’s hierarchy and get their status high up, as the seven demon brothers are hell’s government officials. + he’s literally the grand admiral of hell’s navy, man’s loaded. His insecurities, shyness, and introversion aren’t the main reason why he is in denial of someone enjoying his company or having any romantic feelings for him, but his experiences in relationships made him push away everyone and anyone who showed him any interest. We see this a lot when he friendzones or tries to find a ground where things are more platonic than romantic with the MC, despite being completely whipped for them, he is simply is terrified of them getting annoyed with his constant need of reassurance or getting into a relationship with them only for his jealousy to be too much for them to handle which would make them leave him and he would lose his only best friend, yet again.
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I love jack so so much he's perfect but tbh I do think it would've worked much more with the show if he was a destiel baby instead of lucifer's. and I'm not just saying that as a shipper or whatever I mean narratively it would've been a lot cleaner- and actually, I think it would've been super funny to no-homo them creating a baby together, like, literally all they would have to do is say "oh, when cas rebuilt dean after hell he accidentally left some grace tangled in his soul, and every time he's healed him since then it's been growing stronger until a nephilim was born". like yes the studio is homophibic etc etc but all the jokes they'd make about dean being spiritually pregnant would be very funny for me personally.
but ANYWAY, jack's story gets messy and convoluted and I think this would've been like...a simple fix. them worrying about him going dark side could be because they're worried how demon!dean and lucifer!cas affected him in development, the show LOVES bloodline drama, chuck's wanting abraham and issac 2.0 would've worked better this way, dean's storyline with him would be improved, bc rather than 'oh no I slowly but surely emotionally adopted the antichrist' like I think he would've had an easier time clocking his john-behavoir if it wasn't a question whether he was jack's dad or not. plus last time dean actively raised a kid he went to great lengths to keep the supernatural away from him, so it'd be interesting to see how he handles a kid he CANT possibly hide from this part of his life. it would make more sense why michael wanted jack as a vessel- yes obviously he wanted the nephilim power boost but also having him as part of the winchester bloodline, making him a PERFECT vessel he doesn't have to worry about burning up would add a lot. we could also use this argument for why lucifer is so interested in him if anyone actually liked that plotline in season 14 lmao. we know chuck hated cas and dean's relationship, could you imagine if he checked in and found out they made an unauthorized baby together💀 like that really would've given better context for why he hates jack so much. cas wouldn't need that whole weird brainwashing arc to wanna protect unborn jack, PLUS it could've been an interesting source of angst for him- he feels like he's failed once again, creating an abomination and putting dean in danger, but also still loves jack immensely. it'd be so good! also imagine how fucking stressed out heaven would be to find out a mini castiel is on the way. they wouldn't even wanna exploit that kid for power they'd be preemptively treating the headaches they know they're gonna get lmfao.
also. the casting directors literally put jensen and misha into a face morph app and cast the first actor they could find that matched the results. which would've made more sense if,,,,he was just Theirs. the comedy of dean and cas making a baby before either of them managed to admit their feelings to each other would be more fun then the "dude adopted a kid and pawns him off on his unwilling roommate's all the time and they eventually warm up to the kid" storyline we actually got. we also could've replaced some of the jack-dean angst from the show with "dean wants to connect more with jack but he feels shut out whenever cas is around bc he can't relate to any angel stuff so obviously jack's going to cas for help more!", which I think would be interesting!! how AWFUL dean and cas would feel that jack didn't feel safe enough to be a baby. dad!sam is still in full swing but he cares for jack right off the bat instead of trying to use him for his powers at first. lily sunder talking about how cas killed her kid bc he thought it was a nephilim and dean, who's already fully aware he's (spiritually) knocked up by cas is like 👹 inch resting cas-tee-elle tell me more. mary having a 'my baby has a baby' crisis. cas insisting jack looks nothing like him is a running joke but then at some point he explains its bc jack's 'true form' looks just like dean's soul....
ALSO- in a show where, canonically, the very first act of free will was cas falling in love with dean...the physical manifestation of that defeating chuck and taking his place as god? come ON.
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hells-wasabii · 3 months
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Can U Make Head-cannons of Angel Dust SFW and NSFW pls 🙏🏽
A/N: so, I actually have two asks for hcs for Angel, so I'll probably do another set of em as well when i reach that other ask! for now though I hope you like these! I did also write these with a male reader in mind
Part 1 | Part 2
Character: Angel Dust
Type: Headcanons (Angel Dust x reader, General, Fluff, Angst, NSFW under cut)
A romance with Angel Dust is a lot of things. It's passionate, it's loving, it's heavy. It's real. He uses his flirty personality as a defense mechanism, but you saw through it early on. There were times when the two of you were out on the town together and sometimes when he thought no one was looking, you could catch a glimpse of the demon under the mask.
He's been hurt at nearly every turn, so he's opening himself up to trust you not to. But this doesn't mean to coddle him or to treat him like he's made of glass. He just wants you to be real with him, you know? Sure, he has bad habits, and bad coping mechanisms that he will need help breaking, but if you're gonna see the real him, he's gonna need to see the real you too. No bullshit.
Angel doesn't really get jealous, he likely feels that due to his line of work, he doesn't really have room to talk. You're sure to assure him that this is not the case, that it doesn't work that way.
He does love showing you off, just as much as he likes being shown off, so please, please take him out. It doesn't have to be fancy, as long as he's got you on his arm he's happy
Warning! NSFW under the cut
When it comes to sex workers and their partners, intimacy is VASTLY different between work and home. At home, it's all about the connection between the two of you, the intimacy, holding each other close all the while being completely vulnerable to your partner.
This isn't to say that things won't get kinky in the bedroom. The two of you have delved into your fair share of kinks, deepening the trust you hold in each other. So long as you communicate your needs, Angel is very open to exploring new things with you.
Being that his actual job is in sex work, he understands just how important aftercare is. Water is readily available and you'd best believe that cuddles are required. Did you two get a little rough? Angle will have hell's equivalent to aspirin right there for whichever one of you needs it. Hell, the two of you would even have snacks at the ready too if that's something you're into
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ratatoast · 3 months
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Son coeur est le tien
Alastor x Reader qpr (general headcanons)
a/n: halfway through writing this, i realised that maybe my idea of a qpr might be different than someone else's haha,,, also, this is the very first time I've written for hazbin hotel lol (and should i mention that english isn't my first language? haha)
that being said, i hope y'all enjoy this mess :P
also also if y'all would like me to continue writing Alastor qpr (cuz there's def a shortage on that), feel free to send me prompts :)) i obvi wont write nsfw, but other than that, i think anything is fine (?)
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Being in a qpr with the radio demon would include…
Long talks over tea/coffee
There’s never any awkward silence between the two of you. You two could be chatting about the most mundane things, and the conversation would still flow perfectly.
He’d definitely learn exactly how you like your hot beverage.
I personally can’t imagine him being an avid coffee drinker tbh, but I don’t think he’d mind if you are one.
Takes your tea parties very seriously, knows all your favourite pastries, puts on some smooth jazz, brings out the fine china, etc
Loves listening to you talking about your day, your current interests, hobbies, etc. Even if the topic itself isn’t all that interesting to him, he’ll still listen to you.
The both of you love gossiping with each other. Neither of you will admit it to others though.
Petnames
You very rarely hear your given name come out of this man’s mouth.
He never calls you anything that he deems too sickly sweet, usually sticks to dear, sweetheart, or darling.
If he’s having a particularly great day, he might call you love, but that doesn’t happen very often.
Constant praises & words of affirmation
I think words of affirmation is one of his main love languages.
He constantly showers you with praises, telling you how gorgeous you look, how witty your jokes are, etc.
We all know that this man is a charmer, however his compliments to you are more than just empty words… most of the time :p
Do keep in mind that this man is a master manipulator tho, so he isn't above using sweet talk to get what he wants.
Playful banter that keeps you on your toes
He loves a good back and forth, especially if his darling is a particularly witty individual.
The two of you can turn any conversation into a battle of words.
However, if you take it too far, he’s not afraid to put you in your place with a couple of sharp words, aimed to hurt.
But most of the time it’s just good fun :)
Never having to so much as lift a finger
He’s very big on acts of service.
Forget about opening doors or pulling out chairs for yourself.
He takes being a gentleman very seriously, especially when it comes to you.
But not only is he a gentleman, he’s also a powerful overlord.
So if you ever need anything, be that a new pair of shoes, or getting rid of a particularly nasty demon, consider it done.
Being his closest confidant
We all know that Alastor has many acquaintances, however he falls short on meaningful connections.
He doesn’t let people get too close to him, and it is sort of understandable why.
You are one of the only exceptions to that.
You know more about this man than all of hell combined.
It took a while for him to open up to you, and even longer until he started telling you about his past.
He’s the kind to drop hints about himself and let you figure out the rest.
Trust goes a long way with him, I think he’d be more open to sharing his plans and such with someone that he knows won’t question his every move.
Even so, there’s still a lot that you don’t know about him, but you’ll just have to take what you can.
You can dress however you want… as long as it fits his taste
He’s not all too picky about what you wear.
Contrary to popular belief, he wouldn’t expect you to be in full glam 24/7.
If you like more revealing clothes, well, he’ll just have to make sure that anyone that dares to as much as look at you the wrong way is taken care of.
That being said, looking well put together is a must.
You represent him in a way, and he expects you to look the part.
He can’t have you wandering the streets of hell in rags that not even the lowest sinners would wear.
Absolutely no modern technology allowed
Do I even need to explain this?
He’d rather be safe than sorry when it comes to the possibility of Vox messing with you.
You are never truly alone
Alastor would make sure to accompany you on your outings as much as his schedule allows it.
But let’s be real, he’s a very busy man.
He makes sure that a few of his shadows keep an eye on you though, even in his absence.
I don’t think your personal strength matters in this case, as I’ve mentioned before, there’s very little that this man wouldn’t do for you, especially when it comes to your personal safety.
Lets you get closer to him than anyone else
This time, I’m talking about physical closeness.
We all know that he isn’t big on physical touch.
However, I feel like you could get away with a lot more than others.
When the two of you are walking somewhere, it’s not unusual for him to offer you his arm.
When you’re standing next to him, he sometimes rests his hand on your back, although that is often a subconscious thing.
If you’re having a particularly rough day, he isn’t too opposed to letting you hug him.
You can also get away with laying on his lap sometimes, and if he’s feeling exceptionally gracious, he might even pet your hair.
PDA is definitely a big no-no, on one hand he has an image to protect, but I also just don’t think he’d be too comfortable with showing his more vulnerable side in public.
As for kisses… if you haven’t seen each other in a while, he might greet you with a kiss on your hand, but that’s as far as it ever goes.
He’s not a very touchy-feely person, so if that bothers you… good luck finding someone better than the radio demon ;)
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me af tbh lmao
anway, thanks for reading pookies mwah (slash platonic lol)
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cemeteryspider · 2 months
Text
Dearie~
Alastor x Singer! Reader
Summary: Why the Radio Demon left and what happened to his lovely girlfriend
Trigger Warnings: Violence, gore, blood, injury, manipulation, emotional distress
Word Count: 1350
Next
The day you appeared in Hell, literally nothing changed. Everyone was still dealing in souls, threatening others, and everything worked as it had.
However, your life had turned upside down, quite literally. Minding your business, walking to work, you were killed in a robbery gone wrong. Then an instant later you were in Hell, your soul judged without mercy.
You scratched your neck where you remembered the knife sliding across, and took in your surroundings from your seat on the concrete pavement.
Everything was red and the people walking around barely resemble people anymore. Some were openly fighting, drawing weapons in the street. Others were, less than discreetly, doing drug deals. Some even had their teeth bared, and were ripping flesh off of decaying corpses.
Inhaling deeply, you continued your stride through the crimson streets of Hell, mirroring the casual walk you'd taken on Earth just moments before.
As you passed by a store, your reflection in the glass revealed the haunting beauty of Hell's transformation — the scar on your neck, the flapper-esque dress, and the crimson-hooved heels, each detail etched in infernal elegance. A huge coat with a fluffy fur collar and wrist cuffs. In your hair a single red feather.
It was a departure from your usual stage outfit but somehow it felt right in every single way possible.
With large eyes and a massive fur coat, you resembled a doe, the details carefully chosen to accentuate this striking similarity in the infernal surroundings.
With each step through the demonic streets, you couldn't shake the innate grace and vulnerability that now adorned you — reminiscent of a doe navigating the perilous woods.
As the crimson night descended, you graced the stage of an infernal club, your voice weaving sweet melodies and your body moving to the haunting rhythm, a living echo of your former life.
~~~
This went on for quite some time until your manager said they had someone you would want to meet. They wrung their wrists leaving you in an empty room.
In an instant a shadow turned into a smiling man with a microphone as a cane.
As his clawed fingers extended to meet yours, he greeted, "Hello, Miss, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I've been a fan of your performances for quite some time."
His voice sounded like it was straight out of the radio you used to listen to as a kid with your mother. You stood from your seat and met his hand with your pristine gloved ones.
"Likewise"
This marked the inception of a perfect union, and the palpable electricity between you and Alastor sparked a connection that transcended the realms of Hell and Earth.
Later that week you quit your job at the club and began singing on his radio show. Sometimes a couple songs a day and others you would sing for hours into the microphone, and Alastor, as you would come to know him, kept you busy. Meetings and lunches were a daily occurance. Running around the Pride Ring with him might just have been the highlight of your afterlife.
Soon the talk of the town was Alastor and his new "girlfriend". The Overlord who took Hell by storm was now bringing a new face into his empire, despite many listeners not knowing what they looked like.
~~~
"Lucifer, Rosie, I can't believe you would bring that up"
"What dear, it was just lovely when we heard your voice for the first time"
"Yeah and I cried after because I was so afraid everyone hated the performance"
"Everyone loved you dear not to mention the encore! Cannibal Town has never heard cheers so loud"
Alastor stormed into the Emporium where you and Rosie were enjoying cups of tea.
"Hello Rosie, Dearie, may I sit"
You gestured to the open seat next to you and he sat down, smile never faltering.
"What's wrong darling" You tentatively put your hand over his clawed one.
"Vox asked me to take part in his atrocious video service to aid him in acquiring new viewers" His smile darkened as he said this. "He wanted to use us for his monetary gain"
"We just won't do it then darling, it has always been us against the world, has it not", Your eyelashes batted against your cheeks and a calming hum emanated from your throat.
Finally, his fingers intertwined with yours, a subtle relaxation spreading across his stern features as a small, genuine smile tugged at the corners of his lips
"We were just about to talk about Susan and her latest stunt" Rosie said, attempting to lighten the mood, and successfully Alastor's mind was off of Vox.
~~~
Still time passed and Vox could not seem to let the rejection go.
"So Sugar how's about a deal" Vox caught up to you after leaving Cannibal Town with the Venison that Alastor asked you to grab for dinner that night.
"Vox, neither him nor I will be taking a deal from you, and I would appreciate it if you stopped asking" Your pace quickened but he sped up to match you.
"But Doll think of the good things we could do together" The TV stood in front of you and grabbed your shoulders to keep you in place.
"I would suggest removing your hands before I remove them myself" Alastor appeared behind me, and Vox immediately let go and started his defense.
You just kept walking as the two started to argue in the streets.
~~~
Alastor paced the studio in the minutes after the broadcast ended. Finally you had enough of it.
"Alastor, what is the matter"
The deer in the headlights look would have made you chuckle in any other scenario. He stopped pacing and looked into your eyes.
"Vox has had the thought that he only needs one of us to make a success story for him"
Your brows scrunched and reached out to him.
"Darling we always have been a package deal"
"Yes, Dearie, but it seems that Vox will turn to violence in his child-like way of solving problems"
You embraced Alastor and inhaled his scent. A metallic musky scent that you have related to him the moment you were in a room alone together.
"I promise we will find a way to win, Darling"
"We shall, mon cherie"
~~~
Things got worse and worse from there. The two competitors just kept fighting and ruining the other's broadcasts. With the tension rising, something had to break.
A fight that left everyone with bruises and cuts, was finally over with Vox towering above you. The Vees stood victorious surrounding you and Alastor.
Vox made a deal with you, after the gruesome fight between the TV Demon and Alastor. For just two small things he would let the Radio Demon live and walk away. Just that Alastor had to leave town and that you stayed with Vox and became something of a co-host.
This was the deal. Everything you worked for had led to this moment. Alastor was on the ground bleeding heavily with Vox's new friends towering over him ready to end him with specially made angelic weapons.
As Valentino's blade pierced through Alastor's side, the Radio Demon didn't even flinch, his gaze fixed on you, the anchor in his tumultuous world. He tried to crawl closer to your spot on the ground. Vox's sinister smile loomed over you, and as you exhaled the breath you'd been holding, the realization settled in — he had won. Vox had you both right where he wanted you.
"Yes, Vox, just release him" A cold, blue flame materialized, casting an eerie glow on the contract before you. Your hands trembled as you reluctantly etched your signature at the bottom, sealing a fate you never anticipated. With the curly writing set in stone, your soul belonged to the Vees.
"Perfect, quite a lovely signature beautiful, I can't wait to see your pretty face light up all the screens in this city" Alastor tried to reach for you just as Vox zapped you into V-Tower.
"Wait just let me say good-bye"
Vox just chuckled.
"Sorry Babe, not in the contract"
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lvrdrafts · 9 months
Text
It Is Just A Joke
★ Summary: You hear Bucky compare you to Natasha and it makes you question if Bucky ever really loved you, but can Bucky fix what he has done before it is too late
★ Pairing: Bucky x f!Reader
★ Warnings: Being compared, suicide
★ Word Count: 2,000+
★ Genre: Angst
★ A/N: Should I make a permanent tag list?
Fluff Version
You had a past filled with heartbreak, as you had encountered one boyfriend after another who cheated on you, citing your looks as the reason for their breakup or abusing you physically. Your self-esteem suffered immensely, leaving you feeling unworthy of love and affection.
However, everything changed when you became an Avenger and met Bucky Barnes, the man who made you feel cherished and appreciated in ways you had never experienced before. You were still going to therapy from the trauma they left you but Bucky helped you get through it and you depression even if he didn't know that.
Your shared experiences as Avengers brought you two closer together. Bucky understood the pain you had endured, and you connected on a deep level. He saw the beauty within you, which went far beyond your physical appearance. Your love grew strong, and you became inseparable.
One day, you happened to overhear Bucky talking to Steve and you wanted to surprise him with an attack full of kisses but you stopped in your tracks as you heard Bucky say, "Steve, you've seen Natasha's body, right? She's incredible. I sometimes wish she was my girlfriend."
“I know I see you staring at her all the time" Steve says chuckling "you really should stop staring before you make it obvious, besides your dating someone punk”
Your heart shattered into pieces as you felt the old wounds of insecurity resurface. You couldn't bear to hear the man you loved longing for someone else, especially someone as stunning as Natasha.
"I care about her a lot, Steve, but sometimes I can't help but think about Natasha and how much better it would be with her." Bucky says and you felt as if your heart is being ripped out.
Steve frowned, sensing where this was going. "Bucky, you know it's not fair to compare Y/N to Natasha or anyone else? Everyone's different."
“Y/N’s pretty I know but she just doesn’t compare to Nat,” that was all it took for your heart to completely obliterate into a trillion pieces. You were no longer the only one that thought you were nothing compared to her. You didn't want Bucky to leave you for someone else, you didn't want him to leave you like how they all did.
In the solitude of your room, tears streamed down your face as the weight of Bucky's words crushed your spirit. All the progress you had made in feeling loved and cherished was unraveling before your eyes. The old wounds of heartbreak and insecurity resurfaced with a vengeance, enveloping you in suffocating darkness.
Questions plagued your mind. Were you not enough for Bucky? Would he eventually leave you for Natasha or someone else? Did he only settle for you because he couldn't have her? The demons of self-doubt tormented you, and you felt utterly inadequate, unable to compete with the image of perfection you held in your mind of Natasha.
You couldn't bear seeing Bucky, it felt as if you were gonna burst into tears every time you saw him. You tried avoiding him as best as you could for a few weeks but being in the same building together 24/7 was harder than you expected.
Each time he tried to reach out or spend time with you, you made excuses, declining his invitations and pushing him away.
"Bucky, I'm really busy right now," you replied one day when he asked if you wanted to grab coffee. "Maybe some other time."
His face fell, but he tried to hide his disappointment. "Sure, Y/N," he said, his voice tinged with sadness. "Just let me know when you're free."
In an attempt to bridge the growing distance, Bucky decided to reach out to you. "Hey, babu want to hang out later? Maybe we can grab a bite or train together?" Bucky says with a huge grin.
"Sorry, Bucky, I have a lot of work to catch up on. Rain check?" you say making up another excuse to be away from him.
He sighed, knowing he couldn't push you. "Sure, no problem. Just let me know when you're free," he replied, trying to hide his disappointment.
Over the next few days, he tried again, asking if you wanted to join him for a movie night or go for a walk, but each time, you declined, always with an excuse. He couldn't help but feel like you were purposely keeping your distance, and it hurt more than he wanted to admit.
One evening, Bucky found you in the common area, sitting by yourself and looking lost in thought. He decided that enough was enough; he needed answers.
"Y/N, we need to talk," he said, approaching you cautiously.
You sighed, knowing this conversation was inevitable. "Sure," you replied, trying to keep your emotions in check.
Bucky hesitated for a moment before speaking. "I've noticed that you've been avoiding me," he began cautiously. "Is there something wrong? Did I do something?"
You looked away, not wanting to meet his gaze. "It's just... things have been a bit busy lately," you said, your voice lacking conviction.
Bucky frowned, sensing that you were holding something back. "Y/N, please, I can tell something's bothering you. You can talk to me, you know."
He reached out to touch your hand, but you pulled away, and he felt the rejection like a physical blow. "I get that, Y/N, but it feels like you're shutting me out completely," he said, his voice tinged with hurt. "I thought we were in this together, no matter what."
You took a deep breath, knowing that it was time to address the elephant in the room. You didn't want to bear the pain anymore "I overheard you, Bucky," you admitted, your voice wavering. "You were talking to Steve, and you said... you said I wasn't as pretty as Natasha."
Bucky's face paled, and he looked like he had been punched in the gut. "Y/N, I..." he stammered, searching for the right words.
"Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. It was just a joke, I didn't mean for you to take it to heart. " he said. He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, but he couldn't bring himself to apologize, unable to confront his own emotions.
"I thought jokes were supposed to be funny" you snapped back at Bucky. "Do you see me laughing?"
He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I didn't think you'd take it so seriously, and it was a private conversation" he said, trying to justify himself.
"You were in the fucking common room a public area and maybe you should think before you speak" you shot back, feeling the tension escalating.
The argument continued, the words becoming sharper and more hurtful with each passing moment. It seemed like every unresolved issue and insecurity came to the surface, and neither of you held back. You both said things you didn't mean, fueled by pain and frustration.
Just as things were about to reach a breaking point, Natasha walked into the room, sensing the tension. "Hey, what's going on here?" she asked, looking between the two of you.
You took a deep breath, trying to regain your composure. "Ask Bucky," you said, your voice trembling with emotion, before storming out of the room.
Bucky stood there, feeling a mix of guilt and regret. He didn't know how to fix things, and he realized just how much he had hurt you with his thoughtless words.
The night you left the Avengers tower, you disappeared without a trace, leaving everyone worried and confused. Bucky was consumed by guilt and regret, unable to forgive himself for his hurtful words that pushed you away. He had a sleepless night searching for any clue about your whereabouts, but there was no sign of you.
The following day, the news broke out that an unnamed Avenger was found jumping off a bridge in a near by park. As the report went viral, the Avengers' concern grew, and Bucky's heart sank. He immediately recognized the description and knew it must be you.
As Tony called an emergency meeting he revealed that you had severe depression and that you were at your breaking point. You had just gotten through the death of you family and the scars left by your abusers growing up had left a toll on you.
Tony had kept this hidden because you had pleaded no one to know and that was why he set up you go to therapy but for a few weeks you have been missing it. While Tony was explaining this Bucky just sat there in regret and felt dumb for not noticing the signs earlier.
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toobbolive · 6 months
Text
Hear me out: Pac is just as afraid of intimacy as Fit is. Pac has a specific idea of what being close to other people will entail, and that's why he situates himself by the violent, unstable men.
They'll be exactly what he expects them to be, they're familiar.
That's why he still seeks out Cell during purgatory, and how he's decided to stay with him and try to walk him back to being Cellbit regardless of what Cell's done to him and his friends (including those who did not end up respawning or escaping.) Cell is already close to him, to his body and mind and Pac is afraid to lose that closeness no matter how ugly or unhealthy it is.
Any attention, any intimacy is still intimacy. A hand reaching out to harm you still has to touch your skin.
Meanwhile, Fit is from an environment that paradoxically prevents and ensures closeness, the bond between warriors, the conditional loyalties of where you lay your head.
Fit is aware that getting closer, getting what he wants will hurt him, and he still wants it anyways. I think he's prepared for the pain waiting for them both if he'll just reach out for it. As well, Fit has Ramón, a job, a mission, people who need him, other connections to the people around him. Pac doesn't.
And we see Pac keep people at an arm's length so that he won't have to risk the pain of being left behind by the people he cares about.
Considering old Fuga Impossivel 2 lore (which could be canon! they've been using parts of it) Pac and Mike are orphans, only fully having each other. The single constant between their adventures. Pulling capers, spending a long time in prison and then on a boat with other dangerous escapees, with whom they're now a twisted kind of family, but Richas has other dads, and people like Forever and Cellbit both have their own partners and demons right now.
So Pac during the Happy Pills arc? Walter Bob could be dead. Mike is in deep sleep, and Pac doesn't turn to anyone else for help. He doesn't reach out to the morning crew. He's self-sacrifically on his own, he goes on the drugs alone, and he begins to develop the antidote alone and what he says is that he doesn’t want to be sad again but he isolates himself in fear of it.
Let's think about the Pac who's openly affectionate to cover up the Pac who knows that no one needs him around and who's intelligent enough to know that challenging that understanding could destroy him.
That's why Pac won't confess either.
Pac avoids every concrete escalation because changing a relationship means risking losing it.
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Note
Vox doesn't mean to overhear the conversation. He really doesn't. He's just passing by his daughter's bedroom when Charlie says something that makes him pause.
"…I went to go see Angel at the Porn Studios and ran into Valentino."
"What happened?"
"Well, Valentino offered me a job there—"
Vox slams the door open, his screen displaying a mess of static and a pair ominous, glowing red eyes. "Valentino did what."
Charlie jumps and Vaggie reflexively points her spear at him. "Dad! Uh, how much h did you hear?"
Vox takes a step forward. "I heard the part where you said Valentino offered you a job." His tone is deceptively calm. "Charlie, is that all that happened? Please don't lie."
Charlie averts her eyes guiltily and fiddles with the lapels of her blazer. But once Vaggie lays a comforting hand on her, she takes a deep breath and starts, "Well, I went there to find Angel and ran into him. We talked and then…he grabbed my arm and licked it."
Vox tilts his head curiously—a habit he picked up from Alastor. His screen flashes blood-red for a second. "He grabbed you…and licked your arm." He thinks for a moment before coming to a decision. "Alright then, I'll take care of it."
Charlie nervously watches him straighten up and head out of the room, electricity crackling with each step. "Dad, please be careful!"
Vox looks back at her, his screen fading from static to his usual face.
Charlie looks worried and Vaggie looks pensive. Neither of them look particularly excited about his vague statement.
He smiles reassuringly at the two girls. "I'll be fine, honey. Don't worry about it "
He leaves the room after that.
Alastor, he says through the radio waves. Al, there's something important we have to take care of.
What is it? Alastor replies.
Valentino hit on Charlie and offered her a job, Vox says, straight to the point.
Alastor falls silent in the other end for a moment before responding, I'll be there in five minutes. I need to grab a few things.
Vox smirks and sends out a feeling of appreciation through their connection before he turns into electricity and jumps into a nearby wire.
The world around him is filled with color rushing by and information invading his mind. Time simultaneously slows down and speeds up. Each action takes nanoseconds, reducing the time he needs to find what he's searching for.
With the Pride ring's technology in his grasp, Vox sees everything. He peers through every camera, looking for his business partner. If Valentino isn't spotted, Vox moves on.
Valentino is a slippery bastard, but he has some charm and a general aura that attracts demons whether they're aware of it or not. Vox isn't sure why it doesn't affect him, and if it weren't for Vox co-parenting Charlie with Alastor for years, he thinks he might have fallen for the moth's flirtations and propositions eventually.
The thought of that scares him. He knows what Valentino does to Angel Dust.
He and Alastor are trying to find a sponsored way to break the spider demon's contract with him. They're close now. They just need to find the physical contract.
Lost in his rage and thoughts, Vox nearly misses the bright red of Valentino's coat through one of the various screens in the Porn Studios.
He grits his teeth.
"Valentino."
Vox appears on the largest screen, his face back to the mess of pixels and static.
Valentino merely gives him an unimpressed glance. "What?"
"Did you offer the Princess a job?"
Valentino shrugs, walking up to the screen. "Of course I did. Even if she's a spineless little thing she's still royalty. Demons will pay big bucks for that. If it wasn't for her being Lucifer's daughter I might have snatched her up for myself."
Vox goes quiet. All the screens in the building freeze and black out, except for the one Vox is peering through.
Vox retreats into the data stream, and the screen flickers out.
The next moment, that same screen erupts with a surge of power and blasts Valentino point blank with a concentrated bolt of electricity.
Vox rematerializes in mid-air, grabbing onto Valentino's collar and, with the help of his initial momentum, sends him flying through the front of the studio and out onto the street.
Vox is alight with electricity as he steps towards the fallen moth. His voice starts to echo. "The one nonnegotiable term I had for our partnership was that involving the Princess in anything was off limits. I let you do as you pleased for a good portion of our time in the past because the benefits outweighed some of the costs, but you've crossed a line this time, Valentino."
Valentino spit out a mouthful of blood and sneered at him. "What the fuck? You know, I never understood why you put that clause there. Did you want her all for yourself? I don't mind sloppy seconds if that's true."
Vox fires another bolt at Valentino from his face, this one bigger than the last. Bundles of wires snake around him as parts of his screen shift and move to grow. The wires envelop him fully, and melt together as the mass grows before falling away to reveal Vox's full demon form: a large billboard screen held up by large metallic joints simmering with large sparks of electricity. A deep navy blue suit wraps around his figure, and a single hypnotizing eye amidst black static stares accusingly down at the other Overlord.
"I've tolerated your behavior for the past few decades Valentino. I'm at my limit now. Our partnership is over. You are not welcome here. Now get. Out."
FANFICTION ANON IS BACK AND THIS TIME ITS BADASS
The detail to which you describe things amazes me, it builds up just the right amount of angry tension
Post(s) this is referencing: 1, 2
Edit: fanfiction anon has blessed us with a full version on ao3
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