#i knew it was for jokes and i also knew there must be people that theyre joking about. i thought the jokes were mea

[nar-nia]

♡ enhypen and things their s/o does to annoy them ♡

//slightly suggestive in some parts. please enjoy 🤭

heeseung - weird petnames

it started as a dumb joke at first

he was saying something and you grinned, replying with a "yes daddy"

AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE

you never saw him this disgusted

so your plan was clear: use the nickname the entire night

maybe he wouldn't have minded so much if his friends weren't around while you did it... oh well 🤭

he didn't even know your voice could get so whiny

would have dragged you away right then if his friends didn't already have the most annoying grins on their faces

after a while he finally has enough since you just won't stop

so he decides to just play along with it

he goes all in: a hand on your thigh, a "thank you baby" whispered in your ear

he never saw you shutting up this quickly

and the blush on your face?

it was definitely worth it

jay - babying him

this man is so used to babying you

so when you suddenly baby him in return he doesn't know how to react

this just feels wrong to him

he decides to ignore it - maybe it was just an accident

but you just keep doing it, calling him baby and talking in your cute voice

and you're doing it in front of his friends too

so he gets fed UP

he tries being calm at first, he really does

calling you baby too, trying to put you back in your place

but you just won't stop

so finally he's had enough

as soon as you start babying him again he has you on his lap, your arms wrapped around your body to keep you in place

jay's holding onto you, head resting on yours to show you who's the baby

not that you mind though - cuddles are exactly what you wanted all along

jake - not letting him spoil you

jake loves spoiling people. especially you

and normally you don't complain, but you also don't want him to go broke for you

so this time you decided to not comply

"i can buy it myself, don't worry" "why would you do that?"

jake is genuinely confused, silence spreading around the store

he keeps trying it a few times after but you always refuse, telling him you can just buy it yourself

so the case is clear to him

you must not love him anymore

once that thought has come up he gets so pouty

on the one hand you find it funny that he gets sulky over something as simple as this

but on the other hand... he looks genuinely upset and insecure and you feel bad

so you decide to cheer him up and offer to buy him something

but that leaves jake conflicted

because yay, he gets spoiled by his favorite person, but also it should be him spoiling you

he does not know how to react

you eventually give in and let him buy you stuff

and he gets so happy and excited again

you just decide to spoil him with kisses in return

and the promise to never ever do that again

sunghoon - lots of aegyo

he doesn't even know how this started

he just wanted to go on a little weekend trip with you and the guys

but as soon as your plane landed you grabbed his arm, begging to do some sightseeing

but he was tired

instead of accepting his no though you decided you had to convince him

and to sunghoons horror it had to be with aegyo

you went all in: whiny baby voice, big eyes, finger hearts

he was mortified

even worse since you did this in public and in front of his friends

but oh. oh no. this wasn't even the worst part

you weren't the only one that wanted to do some sightseeing

and before sunghoon could react he was surrounded by you, sunoo and jungwon going all out with the aegyo

he just wanted to nap

but he knew this wouldn't stop unless he agreed

so he gives in, agreeing to go sightseeing straight away

best believe that you have to make it up to him after the trip though

sunoo - not babying him

sunoo is the opposite of jay

he is so used to you babying him and taking care of him that everything else feels wrong at this point

it's small things, like how you always buy a pack of mint choco ice cream every time you're shopping together

or how you always hold his hand and drag him around

so why were you not holding his hand right now?

you didn't even really cuddle him when you said hello

but even worse, passed right by the mint choco ice cream??

he is devastated

somehow he manages to make sure that you pass the ice cream section multiple times

he just keeps sighing and throwing glances at his favorite

but you dare to ignore him?? wow

he has the biggest pout on his face

and that won't disappear until you get back home and you drag him to the freezer

revealing multiple mint choco ice creams

sunoo can't help but smile - but he still requires multiple hours of cuddling and lots of kisses to make up for how you treated him today

and his ice cream of course

jungwon - spending too much time with jay

okay listen

jungwon loves you

he loves sharing everything with you

but not jay

those two are soulmates and nothing can come in between them - not even you

so when you suddenly start spending time with jay and not him??

no

he's not even jealous because he wants to spend more time with you

it's simply because he is not willing to let you be best friends with jay

he was there first

and now you two are doing things without him??

you can almost feel his glare whenever you're out

and as soon as you're home and try to talk about your day he just continues glaring at you

he's a bigger gatekeeper than most kpop stans

days like this usually end with you begging for forgiveness until he starts smiling again

you both know it will happen again but jungwon forgives you every time

especially if you promise that it will be the three of you next time

niki - babying him pt. 2

so we all know how he turns ducky plushies into pumas, right?

you had to listen to so many rants about this

he should have known not to trust you with this information

"how's my little ducky today?"

oh the GLARE you are getting as soon as he comes through the door

"what did you call me?"

"my cute little ducky. my ducky wucky. are you in a bad mood?"

oh he is.

"i'm not a duck."

you're just giggling, ignoring how annoyed he is

"ah, i forgot. puma, right?"

he just nods, still wary

"i'm so sorry. did i make my cutesy kitten angry?"

and oh you did

he looks genuinely mad

until you see a spark in his eyes

he knows you're not actually trying to make him angry

it's a sign of love or something

within seconds he has you trapped on the couch, aggressively pinching your cheeks

and wow - you didn't know this man knew so many stupid pet names

he's returning your energy, just 100 times stronger

in the end you're both just giggling and laughing in each other's arms

"i'm still a puma though. i'm cool."

"sure, little ducky."

co-written by the amazing and lovely @ateez-main-yapper ! yes, this started over a discussion about men calling themselves daddy. we do not support this behavior.

if you read it this far please don't hesitate to reblog or send me an ask with your feedback 🩷 i am always happy and excited to hear your opinions. this is also the first time i tried writing in this style so please let me know what you think, that would be very appreciated.

permanent taglist: @suneonu @soobin-chois @sjyuniverse @taekbokki

#enhypen #enhypen x reader #enhypen fanfic #enhypen drabble #enhypen imagine #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen sunoo #enhypen jungwon #enhypen niki

[sparklitive-sonya]

Many things have been said that I agree and don't agree with so there is not that many left for me but I will just say this will not stop me from being fan of Jere. He very clearly didn't mean any harm and is not actually a zionist - colour me as shocked if that dumbass even knows what that word means lol.

I knew when the first flag scandal happened that this would not be his last time ending up in an awkward situation, unless something majorly changed. Hopefully he has realized from the immediate fandom response that something now needs to change, it is time to grow up and realize you can't be everyone's best friend in this world.

I am aware certain country's delegation had apparently been really pushy and hostile about trying to get other participants to collab, and I can see how Jere is a perfect target for that.

My sister showed me afterwards the semifinal performance Jere was a part of and it made me even more angry that the swedes basically made him into a joke and didn't even let him perform his song in full, and then made sure to rub it in our faces that he didn't win.

I love Jere because he is a stupid silly little guy. But he also holds a lot of power that others can easily use to their advantage. Because of his stupidity and immaturity, he can be easily made into a perfect little propaganda puppet for ESC. He is a people pleaser to the point that it actively hurts him, we have seen this manifest in many ways. It took the fear of completely losing his entire fanbase for him to choose a side in the most vague manner possible and shout "No war".

I'm still hopeful this has been a learning experience for him, but also I'm aware it takes time to grow like that. And until that, these moments will unfortunately be a part of being a fan of his. It is understandable that to some people it might be way too stressful. There are celebrities out there who are open about their political stances, who might be less stressful to stan. But we must always remember that everyone is only a human. You should never put anyone on a pedestal.

Jere is clearly a human who is trying his very best to be good. Becoming a celebrity has been extremely difficult and painful for him. He's not perfect at it, and he clearly doesn't yet know what it means for him personally to be a good human - or a celebrity, what kind of image does he want to keep? This makes him vulnerable.

I would never abandon someone just for being vulnerable.

#sometimes i wonder if we as finns set him up for failure by putting him up on such high pedestal where the only way is down #käärijä

[dflogerzi]

Hello friends. Okay, I spent some time offline, and did speak in length to a dear friend in England today. I think I understand a few things more. Firstly... there are no rules. And this is my timeline, and I get to change it as I see fit. When I first came to Tumblr it was for one purpose, I kid you not. I knew that Meghan Markle was in her supposed first pregnancy... and I knew it was a lie. I have carried a baby, I know how it works, and she was in my opinion lying. This timeframe coincided with my recent awakening of world events and falling down other rabbit holes.

I was gung-ho on both. And I must say, the world events thing did not serve me well on social media. I have never found it beneficial to argue with others about things we do not agree with. And so a few months into my profile building here on Tumblr and connecting I set my own rules on what it is I am here for. And trust me... the people I have connected with mean so much to me. Now then... I do follow some who I only give out likes to and more private conversations. You know who you are. So for the record I am going to be clear of who I am.

I served under Ronald Reagan while in the Navy. I was always more on the conservative side, although I used to joke that as a Californian, I was sitting on the wall in between and fell over to the right. I used to think a lot of liberal policies sounded good on paper, but that in reality they did not work very well. That has been proven to be true in my estimation. But let me be clear. I do not think the Republican view as it stands today is working out either in a bulk of cases, especially in Washington D.C. Our government is seriously compromised within both parties, and I am also speaking of all branches. Neither party is what it once was, and if you are not aware of what the Global agenda is for the common person I cannot help you. And it is not my place in life to even attempt it. We all journey as we do.

I then found my feet here. My goals were to talk of things I am interested in, loved all my life, and to find some fun in my days. When I stick to that... I thrive. But I am finding that as many more are awakening to the fact that our world is slipping away... we are all talking more. And the planned divisiveness is impacting all of us.

It is going to get worse. No matter what your stand is. And I completely believe this summer is going to get rough in the US. Very rough.

So what did I decide? Well... I want to be here. If I drift off, which was surprisingly easy this week, I do not get to enjoy dishing on all things royal, art, history, travel, spiritual life, pets, and the love I have for friends I have made here.

I may veer off to world events. I am no longer affiliated with any political party. I do not believe there are many in places of power who have our best interests at heart. When the WEF says that population control is a main agenda, I believe them. I have done my studying and digging... and I understand. History is repeating itself, but there is no one who will be landing on a shore in Normandy to save our world any longer.

I am not going to try to influence a single soul here. Nope. I just want to vent a bit on how dumb and ridiculous Harry is, how narcissistic I find Meghan, how much I admire Anne, and my hopes for Catherine's full recovery. I also want to read your posts on cute furry creatures, other lands and travels, inward journeys, art, and whatever else it is in life the day brings. But I admit that I may slip, and I go off on a world event. I apologize for it now. Just scroll on by if you would.

I had a tough time since last summer. I did. But that is what life can bring. And hopefully we grow. And in the end it will be what we take with us. Many changes do come on life's paths.

Love to friends. Thanks for listening. Going to just post this mess, warts and all.

[kimbappykidding]

Imagine your boyfriend San getting jealous over the attention you give Yeosang

San knew he wasn't your usual type. That wasn't what bothered him. He could deal with being your new type and winning a girl over. However what he struggled to deal with was how one of his members was ridiculously your type. San realised the second he introduced you to Yeosang that he'd made a huge mistake. You found common interests straight away and San saw that even your personalities were similar. Like Yeosang you were more laidback and introverted. You preferred to observe instead of partaking and so you got along well. San could yell Yeosang liked you because he actually spoke to you and initiated conversations which he didn't do with people he'd just met. San could tell you liked Yeosang because you told him. "So how did you find it?" San asked after you'd left together. You smiled "it was wonderful! They're all so nice". "And who left the best impression?" San asked. He was ready to prompt you when you smiled "Yeosang! He was so nice and cute". San nodded his smile only faltering slightly "yeah he's the sweetest...so what did you think of Wooyoung?" trying to change the subject. "He seemed super fun and exciting...ow and did you know Yeosang is watching the same anime as me? The one I keep trying to get you to watch" you smirked. San resisted the childish urge to say "well why don't you just watch it together" and instead nodded "that's nice".

Soon the members caught on to the similarity between you and Yeosang. "They're basically the same person" Mingi announced while San tried to deny it. "Or they're both just introverts" Yunho shrugged. San was relieved for a voice of reason when Wooyoung ruined it. "San is dating Yeosang! San is dating Yeosang!" he began chanting and Mingi joined in. San rolled his eyes and Hongjoong patted his shoulder "don't worry they're just teasing. We know you don't fancy Yeosang". However that wasn't quite what San was worried about. San watched you and Yeosang continue to become closer and felt powerless. He knew he had no right to tell you who to be friends with and there was no way he could get you to avoid Yeosang without telling you why. He felt really childish but he just hated the idea of you two bonding and knew you must be thinking how similar to your usual type Yeosang was. It was only a matter of time until something happened and he was beginning to see the early signs of it already. It was an Ateez games night and you'd been invited too partly because the guys liked you but also because Mingi was away and they needed even numbers. Everyone had to pair up to get into teams and San of course thought he'd be pairing with you. However when Hongjoong asked you who you wanted to be your partner you picked Yeosang. San was stunned and the members all laughed at his over-the-top reaction but he wasn't really joking. When all the pairs had been decided and they were getting the first game ready San came over to you. "Hey, so why didn't you pick me to be your partner? I kinda thought we'd stick together". You smiled "no reason I just thought it'd be fun and Yeosang could use the pick-me-up". San frowned "why?". "Well, he mentioned you and Wooyoung keep teaming up and he felt left out so I figured he needed to be picked first for once". San sighed "sure but did it have to be you?". You paused "I was the person picking first so for Yeosang to be picked first yes I had to choose him" and you laughed trying to make light of it but San didn't smile. "It's nice you're trying to be a good friend just don't forget about your boyfriend" San replied and walked away. The first game was a quiz and usually San was good at them but he couldn't focus. He barely even heard as Yunho read out the question, he was too busy watching you and Yeosang quietly whisper to one another. You said something and Yeosang grinned grabbing your arm. He nodded and gestured for you to write it down. You did, Yeosang watching over your shoulder admiringly and he high-fived you afterwards. San made a noise and Wooyoung looked up "what's wrong with you? You've been grumbling all night". "Nothing" San said but Wooyoung saw him glaring at Yeosang and his friend instinct kicked in. "You're not worried about Yeosang and Y/n are you? Because you know neither of them would ever do that to you right?". San nodded "yes I know they’d never cross the line and actually cheat but this just short of cheating crap is annoying me". Wooyoung frowned "I wouldn't say whispering is just shy of cheating. Plus you know they just get along because they're so similar". San sighed "I'm beginning to think they should date each other". "Who should?" you asked appearing beside them and San jumped. "Y/n..." he said “hey I didn’t see you there!” trying to distract you but you were still frowning "who should just date each other?". San faltered and your eyes widened "don't tell me you meant me and Yeosang?". "What? No!" San cried but you shook your head "you did! I can see it in your eyes. Seriously San? I pick Yeosang as my partner for one game night and you decide I should date him instead?". "All i meant is I'm pretty sure you give him more attention than you do me nowadays. I didn't mean we should break up". You nodded "hmmm well guess who's going to be getting even less attention than I've been so horribly depriving them of" and you stormed out of the room. San was used to arguing and he never usually backed down. But he knew you wouldn't either. You weren't quick to anger and when something made you mad you stayed hot for a while like a well-fuelled fire. San watched the door close behind you and pretended nothing was wrong. Wooyoung nudged him "you're seriously not going to go after her". San shrugged "why? I haven't done anything wrong". Wooyoung sighed "you basically told her you wanted to break up because she gets on with Yeosang and you're too insecure to handle that" and Wooyoung went after you instead, the rest of the room oblivious. San sat there angrily stewing when Wooyoung returned with you. You took your seat next to Yeosang not even looking in San's direction. Wooyoung sat down and San looked at him "well you brought her back. That's a good sign". "I told her to think of Yeosang not you" he replied and San felt miffed that brought you back in then again maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Throughout the rest of the night you didn't speak, look or even breathe in San's direction. You purposefully ignored him and San could practically feel the wall of ice between you. San wasn't like you with anger, he was hot-headed but his anger was short-lived and fell away pretty quickly. So two hours later he was bored of the whole thing. He'd tried looking at you, starting conversations about things he knew you liked and giving you the chance to talk to him but you didn't go for any of it. So when you went to the bathroom San followed you. "So that's it?" San asked "you're never going to speak to me again?". You looked at him "you haven't said one word to me since the argument so doesn't act like you've been trying so hard". "Hey I went over to the sofa alone so you could join me!" he cried confused how you'd missed his big gesture but you rolled your eyes. "Aww I didn't realise! Thank you so much for giving me the chance to humble myself and join you". San sighed "I hate when you're like this". "I hate when you're like that" you replied "do you really not trust me? Or Yeosang for that matter? What have either of us done to deserve that sort of treatment?". San shook his head "nothing. It's not something I did deliberately you know? I can't help it if I get jealous seeing the two of you so close". "See but that's the thing, you're not helpless in this. You can tell yourself it's nothing or do something to calm yourself. And what you definitely did have a choice over was how you treated me. You could've talked to me about it and explained but no I heard you telling Wooyoung I should just date Yeosang instead of you. How do you think that felt to hear San?". He sighed "pretty shit?" and you nodded. You went to walk away but San followed you this time. "Y/n" he called catching your arm and wrapping an arm around your waist "I'm sorry" but you sighed. "No San you can't just be cute and get out of this" and you walked away. San could hear by the tone of your voice you were going to cry and that broke him. He wanted to comfort you desperately but before he could follow you again Wooyoung appeared and stopped him. "Let her go" Wooyoung said holding San securely and he lost it. "Let her go? Earlier you were disgusted I didn't follow her and now you're telling me to leave her alone? Are you getting a kick out of this or something?". "No! It was a mistake to let her go before but it'd be a mistake to follow her now. You're too emotional and that's not going to work with how fragile Y/n is feeling. Trust me Yeosang is the same and whenever we argue I have to give him some time to calm down before going after him. Give her time to stop crying and for yourself to stop acting so rashly and plan what you're going to say to her". San sighed "I don't know I just want to make it better". Wooyoung nodded "I know but you need to calm down" and he eased San into a chair. "I just can't believe I acted so stupidly! Y/n is the last person in the world I'd ever want to hurt and I spent all night hurting her". Wooyoung patted him "yes but she obviously still cares about you, that's why she's upset so you can save this. You just have to think of what to say to convince Y/n of that". San nodded "will you help me?". "Of course!" Wooyoung cried and together they got to work. 15 minutes later San knocked on the door and walked into the room you were sitting in. "Y/n" he called softly. You didn't turn around but you replied "what?" which he took as a good sign. "Can we talk?" San asked remembering what Wooyoung said about respecting your wishes. You nodded "okay" and he came to sit beside you. "Y/n I'm really sorry I hurt you. I was being insecure and took it out on you. I should've spoken to you about my feelings but I was too scared of getting hurt that I ended up hurting you instead. You know I'd never want you to date anyone else, you're the best thing that ever happened to me". You didn't smile but San could feel you relaxing so he continued. "You're my world and you always will be that's why I get stupid sometimes but I promise I'm going to work on it. I love you y/n". You sighed and San could tell you were nearly there "y/n can I hug you?". You leaned into him and San wrapped himself around you feeling relief sweep through him. "I'm so sorry" he repeated kissing the top of your head and you nodded. "I know, I can tell you really mean that and I forgive you, just please don't do it again". San nodded turning to face you and quickly wiped away your tears "never I promise". You could tell by the gleaming in San's eyes he meant it and rested your head against him glad it was over. "I hate fighting" you sighed and San nodded "and I usually love it but I hate fighting with you. Guess that's a good sign huh?" making you chuckle. "That's better" San said seeing you smile and the tears subside. He gently stroked your cheek and you blushed. "Can we discuss one thing though?" San asked and you nodded "what?". "Next time there's a games night can we please team up? I missed you tonight". You smiled "of course! With the two of us together the others don't stand a chance". "That's my girl" San said proudly and he hugged you tightly once more.

______

I love how any time I picture one of the Ateez guys getting jealous it’s always of Yeosang! He’s just such an angel I bet everyone loves him including all the boy’s friends, families and partners. The impact of Yeosang everyone.  

#san #san imagine #san fic #san x reader #ateez #ateez san #ateez imagine #ateez fic #ateez x reader #san ateez #yeosang #wooyoung #mingi #yunho #hongjoong #kpop #kpop fic #kpop imagine #san x female reader #ateez x female reader #ateez yeosang #ateez x you #san x you

[cerise-on-top]

Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König

I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!

When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.

Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.

Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.

#cod #cod x reader #konig #könig #konig x reader #könig x reader #he actually kind of scares me these days even if I don't want that to happen in the slightest so I'm trying to desensitize myself again #I know people always joke about fanon könig vs canon könig but I think I will write him a bit softer with his s/o again #just to combat all those awful things I've seen about him that I don't want to be true and that I also want to forget about #könig is a big lad so I knew from the beginning I wanted him to be good at hugging because this is self indulgent #I feel like if it weren't for his anxiety he'd be much much cuddlier #because that's the case with me even if I have other things going on as well #and what is a funny character you write about if not another piece of yourself? #I've put so much of myself into some of these characters and yet people keep requesting them so I must be doing something right #it's more fun that way as well when you put your characters through something you've gone through. more relatable too #but I think that's something pretty much every writer does. that's why some requests are so difficult to write #I got one about marrying Laswell and Nikolai and that was a difficult request for me because the last wedding I went to #was my parents' and that was almost 18 years ago. man time flies I was 4 years old back then #so naturally I don't remember much either. But I tried and that's what's important! #either way please enjoy this piece of fluff I wrote today!

[wizardnuke]

no to be so real about this. growing up i saw crossdressing played for jokes onscreen all the time and every time i would tune out the laugh tracks and just watch those men prance around in pretty dresses and think. wait. i can do it the other way around. i can do that. it was a rudimentary understanding of gender nonconformity that processed to 8y/o me as "that's a man in a dress. i want to be a girl in a suit" but really meant "drag queens and trans women and crossdressers exist and i'm trans". i wish there was a way to tell every writer that's ever made a joke about those groups that theyre personally responsible for transsexualizing me

#i knew it was for jokes and i also knew there must be people that theyre joking about. i thought the jokes were mea #mean* and i wanted to be friends with the people they were being mean to and i wanted the clothes they didn't want to wear anymore #AND I KNOW SO MANY TRANS WOMEN NOW THE WORLD IS SO BEAUTIFUL!! #i know one (1) crossdresser guy and he is so so so dear to me. fuck the binary etc #and. god yeah i had myself figured out when i was VERY young. in comparison to some ppl i think. very young and honestly it sucked. #watching men in drag with laugh tracks and thinking where are the men who really do that they have to exist where are they where are they

[shepherdenjoyer]

one thing i would be interested in, when we live somewhere nicer, is fostering a dog or two, or even dogsitting but im partial to fostering in regards to the whole allergy thing because it would be for a longer period of time without being a 12+ years commitment. but that's also something that we can't do just yet so once again all i can do is try to be patient and focus on things i have to work on myself that aren't directly related to dogs.. and my brain says that's booooring

#mine #the older i get the more i realize how much being neurodivergent impacts my life :') #wdym in order to Dog i must take care of things that are not Dog?? nonsense. #also hey imagine if you had to learn french or some language you knew nothing of in order to be able to talk to any dog person you met #go to dog shows they said... great way to make connections with people they said... yea when u speak the same language 😭 #i joke but also not really. its kinda frustrating. i still have a nice time otherwise but i really need to get more serious with learning #but motivation is like an elusive lover to me

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

We need to discuss the vagueposting. Ranting about medicpauling is valid and not the issue, however. It's miss p x merc, an older man/young woman, and there's been/are fans into heteronormative and straight up predatory dynamics. Hating it and wanting to avoid it is understandable.

But publicly gossiping on your blog to your followers about shippers' orientations based on the pairing and how they draw Medic, where its active creators on Tumblr cannot be counted on one hand, is not on. There's a difference between describing what demographics are attracted to a ship vs stating the few fanwork creators belong to it.

There were only two people in the tags last year you could be referring to. Assigning people straight vibes or trans vibes or gay vibes assigns stereotypes. It erases identities, and potentially ends with someone having to justify depicting non-het relationships and experiences by outing themselves or proving they're LGBT+ enough. I don't want to go through that, and neither should anyone else.

Literally what the hell are you talking about

#i can't even remember the post ur talking about it must be so old #also if you literally knew anything about me you would know that i talk all the time about m/f ships and have no issue with them lmao #i am VERY open about having had to 'prove i'm lgbt enough' because i am bisexual #the reason i make JOKES abt them is not bc i have some secret plan to call all bi people straight #it is honestly offensive and extremely presumptuous to say something like that about me. you clearly know nothing about me #anyway medicpauling fans give me more shit than literally any other group i have ever interacted with on here #so when i 'vaguepost' next time know it's not bc i hate gay people but because you people send me essays over shit i never said #ask #gee-wozz

[ispyspookymansion]

just asking out of genuine curiosity and lack of understanding, but why is nica/andy problematic? (i don't ship them myself so it's hard to understand why anybody would in the first place???)

six year age gap :/

#this is a joke and that post is also a joke um we just like to laugh and have fun here #i have no actual malice or moral stand on the ship i also dont like it but i think nica is must be and should be a lesbian. #but yeah its the 6 year age gap people dont even talk about this 🙄 /j #kora.txt #asks #shijuruiburning #i knew i KNEW within an hour of rbing that inside joke i would get an ask like this and lo and behold.

[hauntingblue]

#i knew that wasn't momo omg...... that fucking witch....... #ODEN GET UP!!! THAT WAS JUST ONE HIT!!! #shinobu is gonna free them omg mvp.... omg tsuru..... #BOILED ALIVE????? the guard omg.... #wtf. the worst part is that you know its going to work. but how. #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 972 #i cant believe they will make the oden isnt oden without being boiled work. but they made the frog that swims crole style work so..... #jesus christ oden... AND EVERYONE ELSE??? oh jesus christ (x2) atlas moment #kaido es un cachondo.... they ARE in the pot.... #there is no way this man inst a d.... like there must be something else... but big mom is weirdly strange too and isnt one either... #but still its not the same.... big mom is just strong and not like formidable... you know what i mean... well ace wasnt that much either... #still this man is something else... also toki was born 800 years ago when joyboy was still around??? HELLO??? before the empty century???? #or after but still.... important #oden has some jesus christ like followers.... 9 samurais and shinobu (mary magdalene)... you wouldnt get it... 🚬 #so they would just leave..... damn.... #episode 973 #the people begging orichi for oden omg..... #whooo was attacking wano when the kozukis closed the country down??? WHOOO #oden remembering shirohige in his last moments... he misses him so bad.... #jesus christ..... executed....... kaido is such a wussy #his name must be a joke of destiny.... jesus christ.... the people remembering that phrase... #episode 974 #these flashbacks so far have been: oden lore. GROUNDBREAKING ONE PIECE ESSENTIAL INFORMATION. oden lore. (not saying oden lore is bad btw) #SEE. HOW DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE WAR. AND ABOUT 20 YEARS. HE KNEW ABOUT HIS DEATH. HE KNEW. #I THOUGHT TOKI KNEW. omg he laughed on her face when she said he won't die omg. HE KNEW. WAS IT WRITTEN ON LAUGHTALE ABOUT LUFFY? #ABOUT THE GREAT WAR?? JUST HOW THE SEA BEASTS KNEW ABOUT SHIRAHOSHI??? #oh this is where the cat and dog got their beef. BUT SEE HE IS TELLING THEM TO GO TO ZOU WHEN THEY GET IN TORUBLE. AND WHAT HAPPENED. LUFFY! #episode 975

[jaylaxies]

NOW OR NEVER

PAIRING: spider-man!sunghoon x fem!reader

GENRE/CW: smut, unprotected sex, choking, fingering, slight bondage, usage of nicknames, breeding.

SYNOPSIS: going around the city with your massive poster which said, ‘Choke me, Spider-Man!’ was something you did for fun, not knowing that your dream might actually come true.

WC: 1.4k words

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

A/N: hihi, loves! this one was requested by my anonnie and i’ve also posted this as a mark fic before! i hope you guys will like it :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! iloveyou all <33

“Shh, baby. Don’t want your parents to hear now, do we?”

You truly couldn’t believe that it was happening—that Spider-Man was in your room with his slender fingers wrapped ever so perfect around your throat.

You’ve always wanted this from the day you first saw him, on the day he saved a lift full of people from falling down and crashing to the ground. You were one of those who unfortunately got stuck inside the lift too, which was the traumatic onset of your tiny crush on him.

No one knew who was behind that mask, yet his suit clad figure was a sight to see, his build lean and slightly muscular, not to mention he smelled brilliant (a little something you gathered when he saved you).

To add to it, his ever so attractive voice always grasped everyone’s attention, you thought he was funny too, which is exactly why you ended up making a poster full of glitter saying:

Choke me, Spider-Man!

It was a silly joke, albeit you’d definitely be lying if you say you didn’t get wet dreams about the superhero, because you did. Detailed ones at that.

Maybe carrying the poster with you at all times was a stretch but you did it anyway, granted that your city was full of crimes and spotting Spider-Man was an easy task, which is why you proudly held up the poster in the crowd whenever you saw him, after he fought with the villain that is.

The people around you laughed, but it wasn’t mocking, it was more of an amused laugh, and you could have sworn you noticed spidey look your way, before swinging away, much to your dismay.

This went on a few times. You were practically waving the poster frantically when it was the fourth time, yet he didn’t pay you attention of any sort, leaving you dejected as you dragged yourself back home from Uni, chuckling at your state.

Crush on a superhero?

Pathetic.

He’s loved by countless people all over the world, what makes you think he’d have time to give you even a sliver of his attention when he’s so busy saving the world?

Clicking your tongue, you threw the crumbled poster in the trash can of your bedroom, dimming the lights as you sat down on your bed, ready to change into your nightwear before opting to sleep to take your mind off things.

Just then, a loud sound of knocking on your window caught your attention, which was funny considering you lived up on a pretty high floor in your apartment building. You thought that it must be a bird, still, you decided to open the curtains to check it out.

Shock would be an understatement to explain what you were feeling the second your eyes laid on the person right outside your window.

The reason for your sour mood, or rather, the reason you spent hours trying to ease the pent up frustration in you each night, moaning out with need, was hanging by your window.

“Oh god,” you breathed out, brain short circuiting for a few seconds before you shook your head, opening the windows for him to come in.

Who knew Spider-Man would actually care enough to notice you?

Then you realized just how awkward the situation was, and you didn’t have much to say anymore now that he was standing right in front of you, looking around as if he was inspecting your room.

“Spider man,” you breathed out, and he chuckled.

His attention was on you now, walking closer to you, “so, you’re the one who wanted to be choked by me,” he said smoothly, and you couldn’t help but shamelessly gawk at his figure, mouth watering at the sight.

“Uhm—I mean, holy fuck you’re actually here,” you tried to voice out your thoughts, but they were a mess, which only caused him to chuckle at your shocked state.

“Didn’t you want me here, baby?” He asked and you felt your knees buckling at the deep tone of his voice.

You took another step back, only to lose balance and trip. But good for you, your spidey was quick to shoot his web on your silky night blouse, pulling you close and right into his arms.

He smelled so good.

“Careful. We don’t want you hurting your pretty face,” he whispered, tracing his glove clad finger along your jaw, gripping your chin when he noticed how your body had gone still, “deep breaths, babe.”

“Are you gonna fuck me?” You asked, voice coming out in a low whine, eyes twinkling with hope.

He chuckled, pulling his mask up which had you bubbling with anticipation, you really wanted to see what he looked like. However, he stopped a little too soon for your liking, only exposing his lips, leaning in to mumble against your own.

“I’m gonna fuck the life out of you,” he whispers, a gasp leaving your lips as you pulled him closer into a rushed kiss.

He was quick to take over, kissing you harder as he pushed you down on your bed, you could feel his fang like canines biting down on your bottom lip, “undress, quick,” he ordered, and you fumbled while getting everything off your body.

Your cheeks were warm, your eyes on his figure, which was now devoid of his costume, faint abs and strong muscles on display for you, but your mouth practically salivated at the sight of his cock, thick and hard.

Just when you sat up to touch him, he grabbed your wrist, pushing them up your head and shooting webs to tie them, making sure they didn’t move.

You never knew you’d be into web-play but here you are, getting wet by being constrained by webs.

“Please,” you begged in hopes that he’d touch you, or do something, anything.

“So needy, aren’t you?” He clicks his tongue, his fingers caressing your cunt, collecting your wetness, “so wet already,” he smirked, “wanna be fucked all night, huh?” He asked, continuing working his fingers between your legs, arousal leaking from your cunt.

His other hand was wrapped up around your neck, fingers tightening enough for you to gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt lightheaded with the whole situation, but you couldn’t have asked for anything better.

He was so good with his fingers, thumb pads circling your clit while two digits plunged in and out of you, eliciting moans out of you.

“Shh,” he whispered, his hold around your neck tightening which caused you to open your mouth, giving him the perfect opportunity to lean in and spit in your mouth, watching the glob travel down your tongue till you gulped it down, earning a praise out of him, “good girl.”

He pulled back right when your body started shaking with the orgasm building up in your lower abdomen, his hold on your neck loose to let you breathe some more before he took it to the next level.

He ran his lips down your neck, sucking harshly as he lined his cock to your eager folds, your expression blissful and your entrance so wet, it made it easy for him to bottom out, “so fucking pretty,” he groaned out.

His voice strained as he started fucking you into your mattress, his power was evident with how precise and hard his thrusts were. It was a lifetime opportunity for you, and you wished to savour every second of it as you wrapped your legs around his slender waist, pulling him even closer and deeper in your pussy.

He hit your spot over and over again, “cream my cock like a good girl, baby,” he rasped out, his own orgasm approaching.

You couldn’t hold back anymore, with his fingers still gripping your neck, the lack of air was evident but it somehow made you feel as if you were floating with unadulterated bliss around you as you finally reached your state of euphoria, coming undone on his cock, exactly when he filled you up with his cum, mixing it with yours as he emptied himself in you.

You whined when he pulled back, getting dressed after draining you, “you’re leaving?” You asked, frowning.

“Gotta save the world now, pretty,” he whispered, removing his webs from your wrists before pecking your lips and rushing out of the window, leaving you dazed.

Maybe making the poster wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

@jaeminvore @macaroonff @ajayke-reads @lunalovesstories @jayzdaze @deobitifull @celeste-hoon @mari-oclock @kpoprhia @ikeuizm @woniebae @lalalalawon @blessedcursd @skzenhalove @heesuncore @seuomo @kyurizeu @haechan-nahceah @tobiosbbyghorl @jezzebear @jaehoonii @itsgivingitalian @bunhoons @luvswonyoung @ma-riiii @addictedtohobi @heeliopheelia @haanigurl

permanent taglist open! comment or send an ask to be added!

© jaylaxies | tumblr

#enhypen hard hours #enhypen smut #sunghoon smut #kpop smut #enha smut #enhypen imagines

[inkskinned]

you have to be sexy but you have to be sexy in a way that's kind of bloody. you learn this early because you are wearing a ruffled skirt and the snow around your ankles kicks little sand particles against your calves. baby's first catcall. welcome to sexiness! welcome to the eyesore of your own body!

you have to be sexy like high heels. like sculpted eyebrows. like lean stomach and highly treated hair. you have to be sexy like youth is sexy, which means you have to be sexy like boxtox and plastic. a 30 year old can be sexy but she's not going to be bloody, and they like the bloodiness of it. a 30 year old is sexy when she is a whiskey glass and a wooden desk.

but you need to be sexy like an open mouth. you need to be sexy like a bitten apple. like plucked skin and white-knuckling the waxing kit.

so sex is a performance, not an enjoyment. for a while, you just assumed everyone else was also in on the joke - nobody actually likes sex that much, right? like, some men probably do, but why would you? it is like a gender - your gender is sexy. your gender is the performance of sex. you are thigh highs and garter belts. which, to be fair, do make you feel sexy.

part of what does make sex good is that you can tell that other people want you, which means the performance of sexiness is both bloody and wanted, which is good, which means you are winning at having a body. being wanted is the prize. being wanted is the thing you are searching for, not hope. you think you are looking for a soft grave in easy loam, but that is bloody but not sexy. to be sexy you must be bloody like a red open sign. bloody like a handprint. this will make you wanted.

any wanted or unwanted body is subject to supply and demand, which is to say that the more demand, the better you are valued. you must be highly demanded to be valued. this is stated in matter-of-fact by some men. sometimes it is a priest that says it, and sometimes it is a podcaster, and sometimes it is the 45th president of the united states of america.

(if you do not have any experience with being told your value, i want you to grab the nearest bird to you and i want you to crush it into a thin paste in your hand. spit into the center, and then hold your fingers closed tight around it for days and days, long after the rot has set in. feel bones itch inside of your fist. this is only a fraction of what it actually feels like, but it will suffice for a moment.)

good sex feels like you have earned their desperation. you have earned your own value. for a while you operated under the understanding that everyone knew about the power structure, even him. that their desire to take you - the violence of it - means that you must desire to be caught. little prince, guardian fox - you would rather have cut your own arm off. you liked the secret, cunning little voice you keep tucked into a box. you think you are fucking me. i am not even here right now. you are fucking what i conned you into perceiving. this is a painting, not a person. dominion over the body before all things.

so you bend your body like a wheat shaft and learn the steps so perfectly that it almost seems graceful. (if you do not have experience faking your own connection to your body and sexuality, cut each of your articles of clothing just a little bit incorrectly. pour fishbones into each of your meals. this way, you will experience the average noon on a tuesday.)

you have to be sexy like light spilled over a desk, but not desperate. not a noose. you can't be sexy like an electric guitar, you are the acoustic. you have to be on top of the bull but you can't have control over the animal.

okay, okay. the little rabbit of your heart went to sleep so long ago that winter has ravaged your concept of the human soul. there's something very-bad inside you, something that has taken over, a little fetid and rabid animal, angry and hurting and willing to bite first.

oh but even that's a pain that's sexy. open your mouth. be careful not to let the canines show.

#spilled ink #writeblr #warm up #the reason i tag warm up on so much is bc often i write them between me doing other things so im mostly telling myself to come back and edi #bc i rarely have time to check for typos lol #this is partially about compulsory heterosexuality btw #and why it took me so long to realize im a lesbian #i just assumed sex wasn't really supposed to be that good #been reading feminist lit and u can always tell

[sixosix]

inspired by wanderer’s bday letter <3 happy bday

you couldn’t even make it two steps out of the library before you were pinned to the wall by a scowling figure. his hat blocked off the sun and everything else; his face was all you could see. you could only imagine what this must look like to bypassers—it would be almost romantic if he were kissing you behind the hat instead of breathing heavily.

“did someone enjoy his little surprise?” you asked, batting your eyes while he was a breath away from your face.

he scoffed. “don’t act coy. I know you were the one who told them where to find me.”

“and i know you found it cute.”

“so ridiculous it was almost adorable.”

“ridiculously adorable?”

lately, students of his darshan noticed that you were close to him. they found out about his birthday and asked you if he would like anything. you took it a step further, because you knew it would drive him to do exactly this.

wanderer rolled his eyes. “you’re eating that cake.” he leaned away yet kept his arms pressed against the wall. “i first thought it was lesser lord kusanali who told them about this day, but they jumped on the chance to give you credit. or should i say to throw you under the bus?”

you laughed. “you’re so mean to me. is that what those three padisarahs mean?”

“yes,” he replied swiftly. “it means can’t stand you.”

“aw, and is that what ‘you’d best tell me in person’ also means?” you smiled sweetly, pulling him closer by the obi belt. “just say you want to kiss me next time.”

wanderer grumbled but didn’t deny it. his eyes flicked to your lips as if remembering himself, and he was your boyfriend who could kiss you whenever he pleased. still, it didn’t look like he was giving in first, with his pride and all.

“happy birthday,” you whispered to his mouth. wanderer’s eyes fluttered shut as you pressed against him, his hands moving to your hips. “will you let me celebrate it with you?”

wanderer sighed against your lips. “if not you, then who?”

Lately, there’s always been a gaggle of students sneaking around and gossiping behind my back. One glare, and they’d scatter and hide. And would you believe it? Just when I was hiding out in the the wild, seeking some peace and quiet, they jumped out of some bushes, holding a cake that anyone could see was sickeningly sweet. It’s so incredibly ridiculous that I had to laugh. Just how many people on this planet would be happy about my “birth”? But their little joke did remind me that on this day, there is someone I need to give a gift to.Since I’m the one picking the gift, I’ll choose it based on my own preferences. If you’ve got any opinions, you’d best tell me in person. Hmm… Though just how did they find me? Next time I’ll need to find a more secluded spot.

#happy birthday wanderer #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche x you #genshin impact x you #wanderer x you #genshin x reader #genshin drabble #wanderer fluff #genshin impact #kunikuzushi x you

[theemissuniverse]

“BOYFRIEND TAX” JOHNNY CAGE X FEM!READER

SUMMARY : Johnny usually slaps your ass but this time he doesn’t

WARNING : MINORS DONT INTERACT! p in v, “good girl” , backshots, praise kink, probably some other stuff I’m leaving out

MASTERLIST

You could not escape the ass slapping of Johnny Cage. He couldn’t help but smack your ass everywhere the two of you went. Everywhere.

Johnny did not care if you were in private or around people. Johnny always took his opportunity to smack your ass which irritated you to no end. (You liked it in reality though.)

Even as simple as bending down to pick something up. Johnny was right there to smack it. Not only that but get behind you and fake fuck you.

You even tried smacking his own ass. “See! It’s annoying isn’t it?”

Johnny just smirked at you. “Jokes on you. I’m into that.” You groaned and walked away from him, leaving him laughing.

But when he didn’t do it-nothing felt right.

You were in your guy’s home. You finished making spaghetti for dinner and went to tell your boyfriend that was sitting down, reading over a script.

“Dinner is ready, dear. Do you want me to make you a plate now?”

“Yeah, go ahead, babe.”

You were about to walk back in the kitchen when you noticed something on the floor in front of where Johnny was sitting. You walked over and bent down to pick it up. Your ass was facing right in front of Johnny.

You expected an ass smack but did not receive one. You blinked, confused.

Picking the trash up, you turned around to see Johnny was invested in what he was reading. You didn’t understand why it made you mad he didn’t do it. You placed your hands on your hips as you looked down at him. “Excuse you.”

Johnny looked up from his script to look at you. “Yeah, babe?”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Johnny thought long and hard to see what you could possibly be mad about. He then made a face as if he understood. “Oh yeah.” He stood up from the couch. You awaited for your ass to be smacked but instead he placed his right hand on your waist. He then gave you a sweet kiss on the lips. “Thanks for cooking dinner, baby. Damn, you look hot.”

It was always nice when Johnny gave you a compliment especially when you didn’t look the best. I mean, you literally were wearing an apron and tomato sauce was all over you. But that’s not what you wanted.

Before Johnny could sit back down, you grabbed his arm. “No! That’s not it.” You removed your hand from his arm. “I bended down in front of you and you didn’t do anything.”

It clicked in Johnny’s head. He laughed a little. “Aw, babe.” He pulled you by the waist and he gave you a smack on the ass before he pulled you closer to him. “I knew you liked when I did that.”

You suppressed your moan and pushed him off of you. “Yeah, well it’s not the same if I have to ask you. You must be thinking about some other girl’s ass.” You took off your apron and threw it at him.

Walking away from him, Johnny rolled his eyes slightly and knew to follow you or it would be sleeping on the couch for him tonight. “You know your ass is the only one I think about.”

When you walked in the kitchen, you made a hand motion to him as if to mimic his talking. Sometimes you could be more childish than him.

Johnny gave you a look. “Really? That’s the card we’re playing?”

“Go be with the girl who’s ass you’d rather smack.”

Johnny got behind you. He gripped onto your pants and slid his hands so he was also gripping your underwear. In one swift motioned, he made both of them drop to your ankles. He licked his fingers and brought you to his chest. Then stuck his fingers inside your pussy, making you moan. “I’ll show you the girl that I want to be with.”

You probably should’ve left well enough alone. (Then again, probably not.) Johnny had you bent over the kitchen table as he fucked you from behind.

Johnny watched your ass jiggle with each thrust and he smacked your ass a couple times. You were moaning uncontrollably. “Is this what you wanted? Ah baby all you had to do was ask.”

“Oh my god. Yes. Fuck me just like that.”

He groaned at your talking. His hands felt all over your ass and he gave it some good hard smacks. “Mmm. All this ass is mine.” He gripped your hips harshly. “Shit, you feel so damn good.”

Stuff was getting knocked off the table but the two of you didn’t care about it.

You started to throw your ass back on his dick. Johnny helped you with each thrust. “There you go.” He rubbed your ass soothingly. “Who’s my good girl?”

“I’m your good girl. Oh god. I am Johnny.”

“You better believe it.”

Your release was starting to come close. You threw your ass back at him even harder. Your pussy was so wet that your juices were running down your thigh. “I’m about to cum. Please make me cum.”

Johnny moaned at your words. He rubbed your back as he pounded into you. “Cum on me, baby. Make my dick wet.”

His words made you lose it. “Oh, Johnny. I’m cumming! I’m cumming!”

“That’s it baby. Cum on me. Just like that.”

Johnny felt you come undone on him. He pounced into you until you were completely done. Then he pulled out of you.

He grabbed his pants and pulled them on before buttoning them back closed. “You’re so fucking hot.” Johnny noticed your knees were a little weak. He helped pull your own pants and underwear up.

Johnny gave you a kiss on your cheek. “What about you?” You asked him.

“Eh. You can get me after dinner.” He smacked your ass and gave you a wink before walking away.

You were hot? He was so fucking hot.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #liu kang #mortal kombat 1 #kitana #kung lao #mileena #raiden #johnny cage #mk #johnny cage x reader #mk smut #kenshi takahashi #mk x reader #mk 1

[justawritterwithideas]

law in pink | s.r

♡ first part | next part ♡

summary: after confronting an unsub, it leaves you with a ugly mark and Spencer decides to give you a gift to cheer you up.

warnings: mentions of physical violence, beyond that a bit of girl power from reader and a sweet spencer worried about you.

this story is spencer reid (season 7) x ssa elle woods!reader

words: 1,567 words.

a/n: by popular demand, here is part two of law in pink, and yes, I will be returning to this story in a short series with chapters from ssa woods!reader x spencer. thank you very much again and I hope you like it.

The first rule everyone should know about you is that they must never mess with your face.

Never.

Because they don't know what a process it is to get it well cared for, hydrated and with that natural glow. They also don't know how expensive your skincare products are (always the best of the best) and your sessions with your dermatologist.

So they should never, but never, mess with your face.

But clearly an unsub wasn't going to know that, a criminal accused of killing 4 women with a twisted mind was never going to think that.

Least of all when his hand punched you straight in the face, splitting your lip and leaving a mark on your cheekbone, causing the taste of iron to be savored in your mouth.

"What, is Barbie going to cry about her face? I don't understand why they sent the weakest one."

You turned to look at him as you heard his sarcastic laugh, which didn't last long as the Gucci logo on your heel was branded on his cheek and he was falling dazed after hitting a box in the process.

"Weak? Please, you messed with the wrong Barbie." You smiled proudly at the sight of him on the floor, pawing at your face and letting out a groan at the sensation of pain. "Now I'll have to make an appointment with my dermatologist and a traumatologist because of you." You sighed pulling the gun away from his body and proceeded to take his hands to cuff them.

Within minutes, you heard some voices calling out to you, so you began to signal where you were. Within seconds, you saw a concerned J.J. and Emily come down to where you were standing, pointing their guns at you.

The scene was amusing and amazing to watch, you on top of a man who was twice your size as well as weight, lying on the ground while his hands were cuffed.

"Malibu Barbie just captured the undercover toy." You motioned for the cops to take him away, noticing how Emily got a close look at your lip.

"That must hurt."

"It'll hurt more for him, these babies are from last season and has a good sole. Fresh from the mail and ready to make a mark." You commented showing your heels to your companions, hearing their laughter at your joke.

The three of you walked out behind the hoard of people, noticing Spencer and Derek getting out of the newly arrived SUV. As soon as Spencer's gaze captured your face in his field of vision, you could feel him notice right away how your wounded face was the focus of the stares.

"What happened?" Derek looked in everyone's direction, stopping your gaze on you and the clear change in your usual 'perfect' face. "Oh no, Barbie..."

"Don't even look at me, better look at him." You pointed your chin in the direction of the patrol car, where your shoe logo was visible on the criminal's ruddy cheek. "My pilates classes taught him a good lesson." You commented smiling, but immediately let out a groan from the pain it was to move the muscles in your face. "But I think it will leave me achy for a few days."

In between conversations, the others convinced you to go get attended to, so you heeded and walked away from them in the direction of the ambulance, so they could give your cheekbone and lip attention.

"Are you okay, Y/N?"

Spencer's soft voice made you forget the pain for a few seconds, turning to see his face and giving him a smile where your white teeth took center stage.

"I'm fine, it was just a tap." The paramedic walked away to leave the two of you alone. You knew it wasn't an answer that would leave Spencer satisfied about your condition, in fact, his intense stare at you was more than enough to make that clear. You let out a sigh, turning to look at the brunette. "Well, I don't think it's just a 'tap out'. I'll have to ask for a couple of days until I show up at the office decently, not with this horrible face."

One of your biggest problems was your appearance, as many may note, because, if you weren't perfect, you couldn't leave your house.

It had to be everything, head to toe, just the way you have it in your head, if not, sorry, but they'll have to wait for you.

"It's not horrible, you still look just as beautiful." Spencer's words seemed impulsive, but they made your cheeks turn pink, even though I wasn't the only one blushing at that moment, Spencer's were just the same.

"You think so?" your eyelashes fluttered softly, watching the boy.

"Y-yes, y-you always look cute, Y/N."

A kiss on his cheek was the positive response you left for Spence to understand that his words were the best choice, and helped push away those thoughts about how bad you looked with a swollen lip and bruises on your cheek.

"Thank you Spencie, your words are always the right ones. Like a good Chai Latte on a cold day." You smiled getting up from where you were, indicating to him that you would go to the SUV.

For the first time in his life, Spencer appreciated his impulsiveness.

About a week later, you reappeared at the office for a full day's work.

Your body was covered by a pink skirt and jacket ensemble, something that was no longer a problem for anyone after weeks of seeing you arrive like this.

The only thing that wasn't pink at all was your black purse, a beautiful Alexandra. K. Joy and of course, the tray full of coffees you were carrying in your hands.

"Miss Universe, you're back." Derek smiled, causing you to walk up to him and leave a short hug.

"Good things always come back, now be a cutie and help me with this, D." You passed him the tray with coffees, walking beside him as you shared a couple of words.

There was a variety of coffees for everyone according to their tastes, you had taken the time to memorize each order so that it was to their liking.

And as soon as you appeared, you heard Penelope's voice call out to you. Your hand rose to greet her, approaching her with a smile.

"My pretty Y/N." The blonde immediately caught you in a hug, causing you to do the same.

"Penny!" you said cheerfully as you passed her a butterscotch frappe with plant-based milk. "I picked out something I thought you'd like."

"Thanks, cutie. How's your lip?"

"Sore, a little damaged, but better than I thought. My dermatologist recommended a magic cream that Lindsay Lohan used, she said it worked miracles and in two weeks it would be just the way it was."

A smile tugged at your lips, starting to pass out the coffees you had bought until you reached the last one: the one for Dr. Reid.

"Spencie." Your voice snapped him out of his head, turning to see you with a smile.

"Y/N, hey. How are you doing?"

"Much, much better, look... My lip looks almost like it did before! I'll get back to my pretty face." You placed the coffee in front of his eyes, giving him another smile. "A coffee loaded with vegetable milk, I heard around that you're lactose intolerant so I took the liberty of choosing for you."

A blush of embarrassment at that secret settled on his cheeks, causing him to lower his head.

"Thank you, Y/N. I appreciate the coffee." He lifted the cup, taking a sip from it and simply gave you a look, causing you to smile and go to your table.

But it was surprise that settled on your face as you saw a box full of skincare products. Your hands went to grab the products, noticing that it was every single one you occupied and ever mentioned.

"What? Guys... Wow." You held up the little serum box, but the confusion on Emily's face turned your excitement to confusion. "It wasn't you guys?"

"I don't even remember what I did yesterday and I'm going to remember your products, cutie. You take a lot of them." Emily laughed softly, but made you look again in search of the person responsible.

"There's only one person who can remember details like that." Derek's words drew your gaze from your desk to that of a certain doctor, who was shifting his gaze back to his paperwork. "And he hides behind his work."

A soft blush settled on your cheeks, causing you to bring the little box to your chest and press it to your heart, marveling at the detail.

Your feet soon made their way to the desk of the person in charge, and catching him off guard, you left a kiss on his cheek where your pink lipstick was stamped on his skin.

"Thank you, Spencie. I'll take good care of it."

Spencer's heart stopped for a couple of seconds, you could read it.

And as soon as you left, just like a tomato the young doctor's face colored. As a plus, the comments from Morgan didn't take long to come.

"Wow pretty boy, you just won the lottery."

Spencer knew it and that caused him to smile, because boy did he win it.

♡ first part ♡

If you like it, don't forget to like and repost it.

a lot of love, alme. ❀

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid fanfic #blurb #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #spencer reid x elle woods!reader #legally blonde is superior #alme was here!

[fanfic-obsessed]

Knowing

I have just had the worst, or best, brainwave and I need to share it. 

Here is an AU for you.

Vader thinks that he killed his wife and child, right?

Right up until he meets little Leia Organa when she is 10 years old. Like his one brain cell woke the fuck up when he was confronted with a passionate, angry little girl with Padme’s eyes and his chin. This is maybe a month after she was kidnapped and returned to Alderaan. Leia decides that she would need to learn how to be a senator and insists that Bail takes her with him to the next session of the imperial senate.  

Bail does not want to bring her to the imperial senate. However he knows very well who her birth parents were, it is either Bail brings Leia to the Imperial Senate or Leia brings Leia to the Imperial Senate, probably bringing with her someone she really shouldn’t (Like actual Obi Wan Kenobi-I just want you to picture for a moment, because Bail certainly did, looking up and realizing that Leia is charging down the halls outside his office, dragging with her a bemused and sandy Obi Wan, both in badly conceived disguises).

Bail is super stressed as he tries to run a rebellion while riding herd on his well meaning but very direct 10 year old daughter on top of his normal duties as an imperial senator. Bail is also very afraid that the moment the Emperor sees Leia, he will make the connection between Leia and Padme Amidala (The emperor does not socialize with the senate any longer, thank the stars). He has no idea that Vader was once Anakin Skywalker, so has no cause to be more careful than normal (because Vader) about Vader seeing Leia. As such Bail does not even notice when Vader stops to consider them from the shadows. Leia is haranguing another planet’s senatorial aide who had chosen the wrong moment to make a bigoted joke. 

Vader is very abruptly, though mentally, thrown back to this very hallway 12 years earlier where he watched his wife do the same thing, for the same reason, possibly to this same aide. Though Leia is still a child and Padme was an adult, he can still see his wife in this little girl.

The realization that this is Padme’s child hits him with the force of a Ventanor. Followed immediately, before he even realized that this meant that his child was standing in front of him, by the soul deep knowledge that she must be protected from the Emperor at all costs. 

Vader had known for years that his suit had been designed to cause him more pain, he just thought he deserved it. The thought of Palpatine getting ahold of Padme’s daughter was abhorrent. Vader sticks to the shadows and watches, seeing how well Bail loved and protected Leia. 

While he is thinking(read Obsessing) about his daughter, the part of him that is always centered on Obi Wan points out that his old master had been one of the last people to see Padme after Vader choked her. But the little voice that spoke in Padme’s tones piped up, the shock of Leia living being enough to finally make this little voice loud enough to be heard, saying that until recently Obi Wan believed that Anakin Skywalker was all the way dead, he was protecting their child as best as he knew how. 

And Vader has issues with just about every choice Obi Wan Kenobi ever made. But he will admit that hiding Padme’s daughter was the best option. 

As Vader knows that paying too much attention to Leia would draw the Emperor’s attention, he would be willing to wait until the right moment to get his daughter back. His one concession to his need to protect her was taking one of his personal guard, one of the few units still made up almost entirely of clones, and assigning them to be Leia Organa’s bodyguard, her shadow (I also want you to take a moment to consider what that did for Bail’s stress level).  And then Vader gets to planning. 

With his one brain cell awake and focused on the Organa’s it takes Vader all of 15 minutes to realize that Bail Organa is running the Rebellion (I want it to be clear, this is not a slight on Bail at all, Anakin Skywalker was a war general, well educated through the Jedi on a number of subjects, and does have a fair measure of politics learning from both his former master and his dead wife).  However Vader is no more loyal to the Empire than Anakin was to the Republic.  In fact, upon realizing that Padme’s daughter had lived Vader firmly decided that he needed to find a way to kill Palpatine to crown Leia.  With the realization that Bail, and likely Leia (neither Vader nor Anakin have any idea what activities are appropriate for a 10 year old), are part of the Rebellion, Vader decides that The Rebellion would succeed (or everyone would die trying). 

Note: Vader only really gets away with no one realizing that he now supported the Rebellion because, well, no one can quite believe that Darth Vader supports the Rebellion. Most people think there is a new type of Space Madness, and that one of the symptoms is hallucinating Darth Vader giving you intel for the Rebellion.

By the time Leia was a teenager, rumors abound about the odd way that Vader acted around her. By sheer happenstance (and some judicial violence on Vader’s part) these rumors had never reached the Emperor. A good deal of these rumors implied that Vader was looking to the Princess of Alderaan as a wife.  The reaction Vader had, the only time it was brought up in front of him, was…impressive, even for the amount of violence he normally dealt out. Still there are members of Vader’s personal guard who watch over Leia whenever she is on Imperial Center, and no one wants to repeat the time when she was 12 when one of Bail enemies tried to kidnap her for ransom.  It took an entire corps of engineers to put those levels back to rights (after they scrubbed the blood off).  

So we get all the way up to the timeframe of ANH. The Death Star in this does not start out under the control of Darth Vader. It starts out under the control of Tarkin, it is important to note this. Leia still sends out R2D2 and C3P0 to find Obi Wan Kenobi, none of that part changes. 

It is after Leia is captured that Darth Vader shows up (does he lurk silently in any system that Leia is due to be in as often as he can get away with…why yes, yes he does). Tarkin had wanted Leia tortured, however no one wanted to find out how many decks Vader would spread their entrails across for touching her.  Vader arrives on the bridge just as Tarkin is threatening to blow up Alderaan. Tarkin orders the weapon to begin its charge. 

Leia, Leia who is so like her mother in that she will use every weapon in her arsenal, turns to Darth Vader and speaks to him for the first time. ‘Please’ she said, no effort to hide her distress, ‘please save my planet’

Something Leia had no cause to know-An angel who she resembled once thanked Anakin Skywalker for saving her planet. 

Tarkin is dead almost before she finishes speaking. Vader orders the DS weapons to power down and disengage, which is done post haste. Then announces that Leia Organa was now in control. 

So Leia now owns a Death Star (genuine article-never used). Leia is not sure if that is how this works, but no one is arguing with the tall man in black who has OPINIONS and will enforce them.  Leia manages to communicate this to her parents, who take a shuttle up to the space station to figure out what the fuck is going on, and what, if anything, they need to do next.

Two hours later: Obi Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, R2D2, C3P0, and Chewbacca have just been caught trying to sneak onto the Death Star. The Organas are still on board, trying to get answers (In that time Vader has said precisely five words to them ‘You have raised her well’).  It is to this room that the troopers manning the station (who are deeply confused and a bit conflicted because it seems like they may have all been forcibly defected from the Empire, but no one is willing to disobey Lord Vader) bring Obi Wan and co. and present them to Leia, as she is considered in command.  Somehow Luke’s full name (I kind of picture him still dumbly introducing himself to Leia, followed with ‘we’re here to rescue you’) gets used before the situation deteriorates. Which naturally causes everything to deteriorate further and faster than before.  

Far away on Imperial Center, the Emperor pauses in the middle of a hallway ‘I feel’ he says to no one ‘a disturbance in the Force.’ another pause ‘like some shit has just hit the fan’

Far away on Dagobah Yoda looks up, ‘weird, shit just got’

#star wars #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #star wars au #sheev palpatine #fanfiction prompt #anidala #leia organa #luke skywalker #bail organa #darth vader