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#i just want to start working and make an income so me and my partner can settle and be independent
chuwenjie · 11 months
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Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse comes out later today so I wanted to write a post reflecting on my journey and experience working on this movie. So many people have supported me through this and I am so thankful to each and every one of you!
Text version of this post under the cut:
Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse comes out tonight. It feels really weird to be typing that out right now. I worked on the movie as a visdev artist for the last 2.5 years, from 2020 to 2023. Long post incoming.
There are a lot of reasons why I'd consider this film to be one of the most ambitious animated films to ever be made. As artists, we were asked to push ourselves far beyond our comfort zones and do things that had never been done before in animation.
Every time we reached a point where most people would say "this must possibly be as creative and weird as it gets," our entire team of artists and animators would smash right through the ceiling. The driving direction for the visuals of the film was to push the limits of every single frame; to challenge audience expectations and make something truly original.
The best thing about this film was that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie. The hardest thing about this film was also that there wasn't a single boring day working on this movie.
There were times while working on this where the imposter syndrome hit me hard. This was my first big movie, and what a hell of a first movie to get thrust into.
I came in only a few years out of school with absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing. I constantly feared that someone had made a mistake in bringing me onto this film, and I was going to let everyone down. There was a solid chunk of those 2.5 years where I wasn't sure if animation was the right path for me.
If there's anything I could tell my past self it would be this: there are so many people who love you and believe in you. There will be a time when you get to stand on the other side of it, look back on everything and see how far you came.
I'm still working on self-acceptance every day (it will be a lifelong struggle, I'm sure), but I'm glad I didn't give up on myself. I'm proud of myself and my contributions to this film, and I'm certain that this movie will continue to change and shape the animation landscape just as the first one did. That's truly a special feeling to have been a part of. I am so incredibly grateful to every single person who helped me along this journey.
Here come the thanks:
To the ENTIRE visdev & art crew- it's been an honor getting to work alongside each and every one of you. My jaw is literally still on the floor from seeing your incredible talent day after day.
I want to thank Tiffany and Felicia especially for being there for me through tough times- I admire and respect you both so much as artists, and even better than that, my life is greatly enriched for being able to call you my friends.
Thank you Patrick and Dean for taking chances on me, teaching me so much about art and what I'm capable of, and encouraging me along the way. To Aymeric, your art is one of the reasons I initially became interested in animation and you have been one of the kindest & most empathetic mentors I could ever have asked for.
I want to thank my wonderful parents for believing in me always and raising me into the person I am today: everything I do in life is to make you proud. To my brother Andrew who is perpetually awake at 3 AM when I need someone to talk to- thank you for always picking up the phone and making me laugh.
And finally to my partner Luke for making me grilled cheeses on all of the difficult days, for never getting sick of me even when all I would ever talk about was work, and for patiently and steadfastly loving me throughout this entire thing. I don't think I could've done it without you.
Starting tomorrow I will begin posting and sharing some of the art I made for this movie; I'm looking forward to sharing some of my personal favorites with you. I hope each and every one of you enjoys Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse when it hits theaters later today!
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ihaechans · 7 months
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Impatient || L.DH
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PAIRING ▸ Lee Donghyuck x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ smut
WARNINGS/CONTENT ▸ profanity, clingy and whiny Hyuck, oral (f), groping, fingering, unprotected sex (don't be reckless pls..), jealous hyuck, multiple orgasms, creampie, nothing TOOOOO crazy tbh
SUMMARY ▸Your boyfriend Donghyuck just wants you all to himself.
WORD COUNT▸2k
A/N: This has legit been in my drafts since last year and I just finished it now. Wanted to release something before Die 4 You since I sadly won't have time to make any Halloween fic this year </3 please know this is not proofread so ignore mistakes, PLEASE...
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“Alright, just let me know if you come up with any other ideas for the project. I’ll start my assigned section right away. Bye Jisung.” You sigh, quickly hanging up the phone without hesitation.
You love Jisung, you really do... but sometimes he really gets on your nerves. Both of you had decided to be partners for a project, and if you knew he was so clueless about every little thing maybe you should’ve just partnered up with Jaemin instead.
You huff, visibly irritated at the number of times Jisung has called you for instructions or help within the past hour, nearly screaming when you get another call from him not even a minute after you had just hung up.
Donghyuck laughs from beside you, the sound barely audible due to his face being buried into your side. “Jisung. He’s so cute.” your boyfriend mumbles sarcastically, smiling when you raise your voice at the poor boy on the phone.
You hang up once again, letting out a sound of exasperation.
“Don't get too mad Y/n, you know that’s just how he is,” Donghyuck whispers, pulling you closer into him as he caresses your side.
“You’re awfully touchy today. What’s up?”
“Hm?” he hums, nuzzling his face closer to your side as his wandering hand finds place on your stomach. “I just love my girlfriend.” He sighs, continuing his ministrations.
You’re suspicious but continue typing away on your laptop while trying your best to ignore Donghyuck’s suggestive touching.
“I swear to god,” you mutter, staring at your phone as another incoming call from Jisung appears on the screen. “I don’t know how much longer I can take this.”
“Then ignore it.”
Your boyfriend’s voice takes you by surprise. “What?”
“I said ignore it. He’s been interrupting my sweet time with my girlfriend. He’ll be fine on his own for a while.”
You laugh, the seriousness of his statement slipping past your mind. “Sweet time with your girlfriend is watching me do my project? Cute.” Smiling, you run your fingers through his hair a few times before resuming to type at your laptop, unknowingly annoying Donghyuck.
He huffs but you don’t seem to notice, too busy talking with Jisung on the phone, explaining something Donghyuck couldn’t care less about. He would get your attention sooner or later, he was sure of it.
His soft touches against your skin turn more suggestive within the next few minutes. You don’t mention it to him out loud, but he knows that you noticed.
His fingers dance across your thighs, grabbing and squeezing at them before you place your hand on top of his, stopping his mischievous actions. “Hyuck. What are you doing?” You whisper, making sure your mouth is far away from the speaker of your phone where Jisung was still on the line.
“I’m tired of waiting for you to be done. Why don’t you just cut it short for the day? Hm?” He doesn’t let you answer, getting up from his position so he can slot himself in between your legs.
Mouthing “no” and “stop” aggressively at him doesn’t work, his wandering hands already trying to slither under the bottom of your shorts. “Stop!” you whisper-yell, gaze demanding and stern.
Donghyuck simply ignores you, continuing to massage your inner thighs as he makes his way higher and higher. 
You try to ignore him and carry on with the conversation with Jisung, a surprised gasp leaving your lips when he shifts your shorts and panties to the side, licking a fat stripe up your pussy.
“Take these off for me baby. M’ gonna make you cum so hard for me.” There’s no shamefulness in his words and he says it loud and clear, the younger man on the phone pausing to ensure he heard that correctly.
“Are you sure you’re home alone?... I swear I just heard-”
“Yup! All alone!” You exclaim, accidentally drawing out your words to avoid moaning out. You bite your lip painfully hard, trying to conceal the sounds that were threatening to leave your mouth as your boyfriend continues to play with your cunt. He thumbs away at your clit, soft tongue placing kitten licks teasingly on your core as you shiver.
Giving in, you allow him to remove your shorts and panties, wasting no time to immediately bury his face in between your legs. “Jisung,” you breathe out, “I might have to call you back later…”
The boy on the line sighs, whining, “But Y/n, it’s an emergency and I need your help.” You could practically see the pout on his face through the phone, a sigh of annoyance and pleasure leaving your lips.
“Fuck…” you whimper, hips bucking up into Hyuck’s mouth as he continues to devour you, his tongue fucking inside of you as he thumbs at your clit.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks Y/n! I’ll be waiting for your call.” Jisung doesn’t wait for your response, hanging up almost immediately after he finishes his sentence, which was more than great for you.
Donghyuck seems to take that as his cue to speed things up, his tongue abusing your clit at a much faster rate. Your free hand searches for something to hold onto as your phone clatters onto the floor, legs wrapping around your boyfriend’s head to hold him in place as your back arches off the bed.
“Oh my god. Hyuck…” You’re not able to protest much, his tongue too busy licking up everything you have to offer. You moan loudly, voice louder than you had intended.
Donghyuck chuckles before quickly replacing his tongue with a finger, tongue licking at your swollen clit as he, plunges his index finger as deep as it will go into your tightness before pulling out and repeating the action.
The sensation of having his tongue against your entrance as he fucked you was overwhelming, a gasp leaving your lips as you found yourself getting closer and closer to your orgasm. “Yes Hyuck… yes…” You whimper, hips jerking up into his face as you cum on his tongue, his finger still fucking your pussy at a relentless pace.
You call out his name over and over again as he licks up everything you give him, face soaked in your cum as he looks up at you with a shit-eating grin.
“Hey, I was trying to finish up my work so we could fuck later,” you whine, pouting at the boy as he stands up. He licks his lips, smirking as he licks away at your juices before wrapping his arms around your waist.
“I was trying my best to be a good boy,” he muses, lifting your hips up from the bed as you wrap your legs around his waist. “But the more you denied my advances, the harder I became.” He continues, kissing your collarbone.
“That’s not fair, baby,” you breathe out, biting your lip. “I was just trying to get him off the phone, you know that." He hums, not bothering to reply as his lips immediately find yours again. Your hands fumble with his shirt, tugging it off of him as his tongue dances into your mouth.
He was much more aggressive than usual, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say that he was being a little bit needy. Though you kind of wanted to tease him, you couldn’t keep the grin from crossing your lips as he kissed you deeply, hands roaming your body as you moaned into his mouth.
“God… I missed you…” you whisper, biting down on his bottom lip lightly as he pushes your back down onto the mattress softly.
“I think I can let this pass since you’ve missed me so much,” he muses, climbing on top of you as he grinds his cock against your soaked pussy. “You’ve been teasing me all day.”
“I have not,” you protest, gasping as he grinds against you once more.
“You’ve been working and not paying attention to me.”
You laugh, rolling your eyes. “First of all, I’m working on my biggest project to date. Second of all, you’re the one who’s been teasing me.” Your breath hitches as his cock, still clothed in his jeans, grinds against your clit.
“That’s because I want you so bad.”
“You know you don’t need an excuse to touch me, right?” you point out, hips swaying as you try to push yourself further into his cock.
“You can touch me as much as you want.” Donghyuck chuckles, slipping his hand down between your bodies to unbutton his pants.
“Mhmm,” the boy hums, licking his lips hungrily as he watches you. He wastes no time in taking his cock out of his boxers, the end of it damp with pre-cum. “I think it’s better if I just show you how much I want you.”
Donghyuck wastes no more time, thumbing the head of his cock as he brings it down and slides the wet tip against your entrance. He looks you in the eyes before pulling back and thrusting in fully, the thickness of his cock nearly making you scream.
“O-Oh my god…” The boy lets out a deep moan, thrusting into you again and again in a quick, steady rhythm. The feeling of his cock sliding inside of you is enough to make you let out a high-pitched whine, hands searching for anything to hold onto as he pounds into you.
You grip onto the sheets, bodies colliding as the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room. “You’re so tight,” he mumbles, thrusting into you harder. His hips grind against yours, pelvis pressing against your clit and sending pleasure rippling through your body.
“Donghyuck…” You moan out, a fire building in your stomach as he fucks you into the mattress.
“You’re so fucking hot…” The boy breathes out, thrusting into you deeper. His cock slides in and out of you, tongue licking your neck as he pumps into you harder. “I can’t hold back anymore, baby...” he groans, hips jerking against your own as he pants into your neck.
“Fuck don't stop…” Your breathing hitches, shoulders tensing up as he thrusts into you at a quick, steady pace. You feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm, his cock sliding in and out of you.
“Come on, Y/n…” He breathes out, thrusting into you with more force. “Cum for me.” His fingers dig into your thighs, nails scraping at your skin. “C-Come on baby-” His voice tenses, urging you on as his thrusts quicken. “Cum, Y/n.” Your back arches off of the bed as you're sent over the edge, an orgasm tearing through your body.
“Oh my god, Donghyuck….” You moan out, hips bucking up into his as he pumps into you with more force. You feel him twitch inside of you, letting out a deep moan as he fills you up with his cum.
With a groan, Huck pulls out, smiling proudly at the mess he had made of you.
You could feel his cum seeping out of your pussy and down your thighs, an audible gasp leaving your lips as you let your head fall back onto the sheets. Donghyuck pants into your neck, pulling out of you as he wraps his arms around your waist.
"Can't believe all of that was because of that nerd Jisung. Didn't know he bothered you that much babe." You conclude, your boyfriend smirking down at you in return.
As you lay panting on your bed, naked as you stare at the ceiling with your arms spread out against the bed, your phone goes off again, and you're immediately reminded of why you were so irritated in the first place.
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onelittlespiral · 7 months
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Hey dude, I'm just a lil bro looking for a big bro to take care of me in all sorts of ways but all I'm stuck with is my lousy nerd of a roommate. Could you help me out?
FML: Fraternize
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My roommate was… chill all things considered. I don’t know, he was just the random guy that I got stuck with when all my bros decided to move into the house and I needed someone to take the lease with. Scruffy, for sure. A bit out of shape. He said he used to play soccer in high school. Cute, but that was about it. Nowadays he was just getting his degree in English. Just a guy. But I didn’t want just another guy.
I tried to be friends with the guy, but he always just blew me and my boys off. He would just say he was too busy studying or playing some video game to come out to the gym with us or hang at the frat. I finally decided I was fed up. I needed my roommate to be more than a rando in my house. I needed a bro. And the fraternity had some resources to make that happen.
They usually keep this kinda stuff for pledges who start stepping out of line, but my buddy slipped me the files that they show to help guys get in line. I don’t remember if I ever saw them myself… what ever. It was a series of videos that promised to turn any guy into a bro in no time flat. So, one night, I put the tapes on when my roommate was home:
“Hey man, I’ve gotta watch these for class, mind if I slip them on?”
“No problem, I’ll just hang out in my bedroom.”
“Actually, it may be something you would like. You should stay. Here, you chill here and I’ll listen while I cook. I’ll make enough to split.”
I turned the first tape on and went to cook up some chicken and rice. In the other room, I heard the video beginning. It wasn’t long before I started hearing my roommate responding to the commands:
You are loyal to your bros.
“I am loyal to my bros.”
When you are around them you feel relaxed.
“When I am around them I feel relaxed”
The gym feels like your second home.
“The gym feels like my second home.”
The frat is life. You are made to be loyal to the frat.
“I am made to be loyal to the frat.”
They kept pushing him in the background while I finished cooking some food. When I walked back into the room, static filled the screen as my roommate stared into space, drool dripping from his mouth. I turned of the TV and he seemed to come to his senses.
“Hey, sup bro? Got the fuel?”
Already he was much better, “Yeah man, chicken and rice.”
“Hell yeah, gotta get a good workout in before getting my homework done.”
We ate quickly and started getting ready for the gym.
“Hey, bro, you think they are still taking new pledges? I’ve been meaning to apply to your frat!”
I was shocked at how quick the progress had been, “Yeah man. I’ll hook you up with my peeps tomorrow.”
“Sweet, let me finish getting ready and we can go.”
Dang those videos were quick. Even the way he carried himself was so different. This is the bro I needed.
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The week went on and we kept working out. I hooked my roommate up with the pledge master and he quickly started falling in with the bros. We worked out, partied, did almost everything together now. I gave the rest of the tapes back to my guy who gave them to me. He said he needed them for a few guys who had gotten a little hands-y with some girls at the last party. I was fine to get them back, I didn’t think there would be any more issues with my roommate.
The year flew by until it was time for spring break. I had opted to be my roommate’s big and done all the usual hazing and shit with him. Had to keep him on his A game, I wasn’t going to go east on him. The spring break frat trip was a rite of passage for the incoming pledges. As much as I wanted to go, I had plans to visit California with my partner. We were having a great time, chilling at the beach, shopping through souvenir stores, and hiking parks. But I made sure to get updates about how my roommate was enjoying his week. It was from one of these progress reports that I got word from the pledge master:
Hey, bro. Just letting you know. Your little bro was making some girls uncomfortable at the bar. Can’t have that causing issues for the frat.
Shit man. I’m sorry. Lemme talk to him.
Nah dude, it’s good. We have a protocol for these kinds things. Just letting you know so you aren’t surprised. We’ll make sure he won’t bother any girls again.
Thanks dude. Lemme know if you need anything.
Nah bruh, relax. Enjoy your vacay.
Well as long as they have shit handled. I went back to my vacation and forgot about the whole situation. I would give him crap for it when I got back. The rest of our trip was great. I didn’t hear anything more from my bros so I assumed it all went according to plan. I was eager to get back to my roommate and prep him for full brotherhood when I got back. It wasn’t till I walked into the apartment I knew something was awry:
“Sup, bro, welcome back.”
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A deep voice echoed from the balcony. He stepped inside and was greeted by a stranger. His arms were as thick as a football, his legs as thick as tree trunks. The smell of sweat, sex, and stale beer followed him into the room. He had a fresh tattoo on his arm with the number 86 boldly displayed. The stranger walked with swagger up to me, like he owned the place. As he approached, his musk only grew more intense. It wasn’t until I noticed the glasses it all clicked into place:
“Bro… is that you?!?”
“Bruh, who else would it be?”
My roommate stood proudly in front of me. He had been going to the gym steadily but no amount of protein powder could explain the progress he had made in a week. He was also easily 3 inches taller. And the smell. I don’t know how to describe it but he smelled… virile. Like just being around him was starting to get me excited. He certainly had never been like this before.
“Looking good, right? Like the new tat? Year of our chapter’s founding, 1986. After all, I am made to be loyal to the frat.”
That line made it all click together. The tapes. They said they would handle the situation, I didn’t know they would use the tapes.
”Speaking of which, dude. I can’t believe you flaked on the frat and went on a trip with your partner. You’ve got to be loyal to your bros.”
His scent, his words, my mind was swimming in a way it hadn’t in a long time. He stepped towards me, grabbing my head. I was pulled into his pit. I tried to pull back but a hand on the back of my head held me firmly in place. I felt so aroused and so scared as I was forced to huff the scent of pure frat bro. I was… fading. I couldn’t… resist… my… my… bruhhhhh.
“I think that you should sit through the next set with me bro.”
My mind was blank as he told me to sit down on the couch. Of course, I would do anything for my frat bro. He put on a video and sat behind me.
“They said we could watch this one together.”
The video whirled to life as my roommate held me in place in his lap. A flash of color and a brief intro played. It explained that it was the last in a series of videos for brothers who were trouble makers in the frat. This last one was the most extreme. I felt a wave of guilt, knowing I had betrayed my brothers and the chapter. I wasn’t sure what I did but I knew it must be bad. My behavior had to change.
You will conform to the standard set by the frat, whatever it takes. You will be entirely dedicated to the brotherhood.
“I will be entirely dedicated to the brotherhood,” we both repeated, in unison.
Good. Since you have proven you can’t be trusted with making good decisions, your brothers have decided to make those for you. You will become the ultimate frat bro.
“I will become the ultimate frat bro.”
Let’s start on the outside. A brother works out daily, at least. Strong muscles make for a strong foundation.
As I repeated the words, they became my reality. I had certainly never been a scrawny guy before, but this was something else. My muscles convulsed all at once, then seemed to shred and burst. My muscles ached as pecs, biceps, abs all were pulled out of my body. I sweat under the effort as legs bloated and toned, bloated and toned. My back stretched out and shoulders mounded on muscle.
Good bro. Now, a brother should be cocky, with a cock to match. All the other fraternities should know how superior we are.
‘Shiiit, no other frat could even come close. We threw the best parties, had the hottest girls and… fuck the hottest guys. With a bod like this, just about no body could resist.’ As those thoughts echoed in my head, there was a sharp pain in my balls as they started to swell. My cock snaked down my shorts, throbbing with newfound power and size. A moan escaped my mouth as my cock swelled thick as a beer can. Anyone would beg for a cock like this.
A frat bro with a cock like that just needs to fuck. Your libido keeps your mind so full that you hardly have time to pass your business classes.
My swollen balls began to churn as my cock came to life. As my mind was thrust into a deep sexual haze, any aspirations I had on my pre-law track were pushed out, draining right to my balls and slowly leaking out my cock. At the same time, I felt my roommate begin to shift behind me. I felt his cock press against the small of my back, throbbing as it was thrust into overdrive. He began slowly humping against my back, and I leaned back against that massive cock. I wanted to help my bro however I could. He wrapped his arms around me and slowly started jacking me off. My mind was in pure bliss as I was kicked into overdrive. His arms felt so warm and strong, and he was pushing all my buttons till I was thrusting into his hands.
The frat is a part of you. You live, breath, and sweat the frat. Everyone who meets you will know exactly what you’re about and submit to you, an alpha bro. You put the reek in Greek.
My mind processed for a second until the smell hit me from behind and I understood. My hormones shifted as sweat poured out. It was hard work being a fraternity brother, and everyone would know that. I worked overtime as the smell of straight frat filled my nostrils. The apartment changed in response, filled with leftover beers, used tank tops, and soaked underwear. Anyone who entered would fall into an immediate haze, the smell of bros clouding their mind. My mind was… so… slow. Just… needed… FUCK.
You will keep it simple, keep it stupid.
“I will keep it simple, keep it stupid.”
My head felt like it was filled with fluff. No thoughts, just instinct.
You will listen to your pledge master, follow all he says.
“I will listen to my pledge master, follow all he says.”
It was so much easier to just trust my bros. Whatever they said went.
You will live for and serve your bros, live for and serve the frat.
“I will live for and serve my bros and the frat.”
I would do anything for my bros. Gotta keep ‘em happy.
The frat is life.
“The frat is life.”
My roommate’s cock was still rock hard behind me. His grip was edging me as moaned for release. I could dedicate my life to men like him.
Thank you for your cooperation. There will be no further issues. Now cum.
And I did. Ropes shot across the floor as all the changes were set in stone. I was just another frat dude, struggling through Business classes and fucking through the night.
And with that the video ended. It took a sec for me to regain my senses. I slowly refocused my eyes and… fuck bruh my head is pounding. Musta partied too hard last night. Shit, I was drooling all over myself, lol. I mean, I’m hot but not that hot. And fuck, I made a mess. Bro, what happened? It’s already late, I’ve got to get ready to go out tonight.
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I was going to throw on a polo and some shorts when my roommate put a hand on my shoulder. This man must’ve got a double dose of whatever I got. Bro, he was on another fucking level. He pulled me in tight, cupped my ass in his hands, held my chin, and slid his tongue in my mouth. All at once, my world shifted as the fraternity’s motto rang in my head, I will be entirely dedicated to the brotherhood. An aching in my balls told me that I wasn’t going to make it out tonight. I had my frat bro… no, my big bro right here. And he will take care of his little bro. He pulled down his sweatpants and a thick rod popped out from the waistband. He gently guided me to his cock, the true source of his musk. Our scents mingled as my thoughts were consumed by sex. The salty taste of pre coated my tongue as the tip slid down the back of my throat. My mind faded as the smell of the frat filled my nostrils. I was lost in bliss as my bro started pumping, pumping down my throat. Gone was the nerdy roommate I had:
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There was nothing left but frat bro.
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dannyricsmirrorball · 7 months
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fifth wheel • ln4 part 3 ੈ✩‧₊˚
ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairing || lando norris x reader
ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au
ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || y/n is always fifth wheeling george, carmen, alex, and lily.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || final part yay! also perf in time for lando’s p2!!! not proof read.
part 1 part 2
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liked by lorenzotl, patriciooward, and 762,871 others
alex_albon monte-carlo padel masters
tagged georgerussell63, yourusername, maxvertsappen1, landonorris, richardpardon
username1 max has friends?!
username2 zandvoort front two rows
charles_leclerc oh!
⤷ pierregasly it’s ok mate, we’ll play together
⤷ yourusername sorry 🥱 maybe if u brought alex and kika w u
username3 ok but how did they play if there was 5 of them, did they take turns?
⤷ username4 nah i bet y/n just sat on her phone and watched them play
alex_albon also P.S. y/n did not actually do anything
⤷ yourusername WDYM?! me and lando subbed 🧐
⤷ georgerussell63 he kept playing for u y/n?
⤷ yourusername HOW IS THAT MY FAULT, HE’S A BALL HOG!
⤷ alex_albon u forced him to play for u y/n.
⤷ yourusername this is defamation. i will not take this slander!
⤷ username4 called it
username5 maxverstappen new hyoerfixation incoming
f1 who won tho?
⤷ yourusername me ofc 😇
⤷ landonorris us*
⤷ yourusername sorry yes ofc team work makes the dream work!
⤷ maxverstappen1 but yourusername u didn’t even play?
⤷ landonorris i played for the both of us. she transferred her energy to me so i could play w our combined powers
⤷ username6 lando and y/n aren’t being hostile. we are so back!
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liked by danielricciardo, mclaren, and 632,091 others
landonorris my 🌟 girl
username7 this soft launch will be the death of me.
username8 the day we find out who she is, is the day that i die
danielricciardo watch out she’ll take over lando.jpg
maxfewtrell yuck right in front of me
yourusername whipped
⤷ landonorris sns
⤷ username9 i’m sorry? is that meant to mean sorry not sorry 😭😭 they’re actual children
username10 idc how many ppl call me delusional, it’s y/n FS
⤷ username11 ok grandma let’s get u to bed
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liked by romeobeckham, mickschumacher, and 97,032 others
yourusername spicy salmon nigiri u rock my world 🍣
username12 ok yeah rip my lando x y/n fantasies
username13 final confirmation we needed
username14 how long is this soft launch gonna last
landonorris gag
⤷ username15 someone sounds jealous 👀
⤷ landonorris sushi makes me sick
⤷ maxfewtrell such a baby
lilymhe gets a bf and forgets her best friends
⤷ alex_albon it’s ok lily just relax
⤷ lilymhe NO YOUVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS UR WHOLE LIFE ALEX DONT EVEN PRETEND
⤷ username16 i just know alex is so relieved that he doesn’t have share lily anymore
username17 does anyone else find it funny/weird that y/n will let rumours circle abt her and other drivers and lando will do the same w random ppl he’s talks to and they both just follow this kind of philosophy of just ignoring it bc it’s baseless but as soon as someone so much as hints to the idea of them together they go ham at squashing it
⤷ username18 maybe it’s bc they’re actually friends so they don’t want ppl to ruin it w all the rumours
⤷ username17 but that’s what i mean like they don’t mind the rumours abt their other friends but when it’s each other it’s like NO THATS NOT TRUE
⤷ username19 i will stand by that alex and george tried to set them up on that golf trip and they started taking but one of them or both fucked it up and now
⤷ username20 and i will stand by that they are actually together
⤷ username19 it’s ok to be a little delusional
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liked by username81, username4, and 18,409 others
f1wags y/n with lando recently… wonder how their partners feel about this…
tagged landonorris, yourusername
username21 nah no way they aren’t dating
⤷ username22 they’ve made it so clear they’re just friends
⤷ username21 bro look at how much they’re together, she’s literally in the paddock w him
⤷ username22 they’re friends??? makes sense that they’d hang out.
⤷ username21 yeah but she’s always been friends w him but is always in either williams or mercedes merch and motorhome but is suddenly a mclaren girly
username23 what a slut. she literally has a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend.
⤷ username24 she’s just mad that she can’t use alex and george anymore bc they probably saw her for who she is and is now leaching off lando
username25 ahhhh they’re so cute 🥹
username26 nah but i do feel lowkey bad for their partners bc if my s/o was acting like this w another person…
username27 imagine being his gf tho… like he’s refusing to show her face but is parading another girl around the paddock
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liked by carlossainz55, olliebearman, and 809,762 others
charles_leclerc tbt good times 🌊
tagged arthurleclerc, lorenzotl, alexandrasaintmleux, carla.brocker, charlotte2304, alex_albon, georgerussell63, yourusername, lilymhe, carmenmmundt, heidiberger, landonorris, danielricciardo
georgerussell63 …mate
yourusername party rockin 🤙🐚🌊😮‍💨🌅🏝️🏖️🏄‍♀️
⤷ username30 my girl is overcompensating bc she knows she can’t get out of this one
⤷ username31 what?
⤷ username30 i mean this pretty much confirms that y/n and lando are actually dating, like w all the photos of them and now that we know that they actually did see each other during the break
alexandrasaintmleux CHARLES what did i say abt posting w/o showing me first 😭
landonorris lol
⤷ username31 they are sweating
username32 you’re telling me that the leclerc family, all their gfs, lily, alex, george, carmen, daniel, heidi, y/n, AND lando ALL stayed in corsica together during part of the break AND WE DIDNT KNOW UNTIL KNOW
alex_albon at least i’m not THIS bad lilymhe
lilymhe charles…
danielricciardo LOL MATE
⤷ heidiberger_ don’t even danny
username33 IM SORRY BUT THIS IS SO CONFIRMATION ABT Y/N AND LANDO… I MEAN LOOK AT EVERYONES COMMENTS, THEYRE ALL STRESSING AND THIS WAS SO OBV A COUPLES TRIP
⤷ username34 i mean idk still like their comments to eachother are so passive aggressive and george, alex, and charles are really good mates w the both of them as well y/n is famed for being the biggest grid couple third wheel so maybe they were just being massive third wheels OR they also brought their partners but charles just didn’t tag them to keep it private
⤷ username35 or u guys hate to admit that y/n and lando are together and lando isn’t going to get w u 🤷‍♀️
username36 charles really came in w a bang
username37 the way charles’ silence is SOOOO loud
⤷ username38 yeah he is fs getting it in the gc
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmmundt, landonorris, georgerussell63, alex_albon, heidiberger_
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liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, and 320,918 others
yourusername fuck it we ball
tagged landonorris
username42 OH
username43 ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING Y/N LANDO HARD LAUNCH
lilymhe i knew you’d cave. all those soft launch photos i took and FOR WHAT. lasted a month 😐
charles_leclerc 🤍
⤷ yourusername this is ur fault
⤷ charles_leclerc whatttttt idk what ur talking abt
heidiberger_ i just heard danny let out an audible sigh
⤷ danielricciardo no more stress 😮‍💨
⤷ yourusername did better then i thought u would danny
⤷ heidiberger_ don’t be fooled… i think he told the entire rbr faculty
alex_albon see you’d think that this would mean they’d leave us alone…
⤷ yourusername never getting rid of us albono 😊
⤷ landonorris now why would u want that mate?! 😘
username57 the caption. she really said fuck it lets hard launch!
username58 they really squashed the slander
landonorris absolute legends i reckon
⤷ yourusername ballers
landonorris my girl 🧡
⤷ yourusername 🤭🫠
carlossainz55 finally
username34 what?! no way?! i’m shocked 😦 we are so shocked 🥱
mclaren we’ll take it from here williamsracing mercedesamgf1
team_quadrant the real boss 😌
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 570,398 others
landonorris cute.
username42 i can’t. they’re too cute.
username43 did he take her to his family home omfg 😭
maxfewtrell whippeddddd
⤷ yourusername 😐
⤷ maxfewtrell sorry y/n mb
danielricciardo cutsie
⤷ landonorris 😘😘
georgerussell63 double trouble
⤷ alex_albon god george u don’t have to say everything that comes to ur mind
lilymhe she’s so pretty
⤷ landonorris she is 😍
⤷ yourusername i love uuuuuu baby
⤷ landonorris i love u too love
⤷ yourusername oh.
⤷ landonorris oh.
⤷ lilymhe I LOVE U TOO LOVERRRR
⤷ alex_albon u get used to it landonorris
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liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and 126,090 others
lando.jpg my girl
tagged yourusername
username42 god i am not ur strongest soldier
danielricciardo peep the merch 😌
⤷ yourinstagram enchante danny 😉
yourinstagram shop the look enchante 🩷
⤷ enchante 😍😍
username43 they’re everything
heidiberger_ where’s mine? daniel3.jpg
⤷ daniel3.jpg COMING RIGHT UP
username44 lando is the standard
⤷ username45 never thought i’d see the day someone described lando norris as the standard
yourusername obsessed much 🤭
⤷ lando.jpg with u? always
⤷ yourusername oh 😳
yourusername my own jpg post?! i must be special
⤷ lando.jpg the specialist 🧡
⤷ yourusername oh 🤭
username46 dead at y/n being taken aback my lando’s comments
lilymhe my girl 😍😍😍
⤷ yourusername my girl 😘😘🤭🤭
⤷ lando.jpg pipe down miss alex_albon come collect ur girl
⤷ alex_albon don’t fight it mate
carmenmmundt prettiest girl in the world
⤷ lando.jpg that she is
username47 she’s come so far from her third wheeling days 🥹
⤷ alex_albon has she?
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bonus!
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liked by williamsracing, carmenmmundt, and 228,460 others
alex_albon proof that it changed nothing 😐
tagged yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe, carmenmmundt, georgerussell63
yourusername boohoo 🙄
landonorris u love us ❤️‍🔥
hope u enjoyed 🤍🤍
2K notes · View notes
carolmunson · 9 months
Text
caught like a fool without a line. (older!modern!eddie)
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part five of who knows how many. orange colored sky setlist.
summary: we've been seeing eddie for a month and the fear starts to settle in. with eddie's past and present making things difficult and your own insecurities brewing, things come to a bit of a head one night when you're out at a bar. featuring older!robin and our favorite guy older!steve from @loveshotzz series 'all i really want is you'.
tw: age gappy (reader and eddie are 12 years apart, but reader is late late 20s/early 30s and eddie and late late 30s/early 40s throughout this story so it's not like so bad). drunk!reader, alcohol consumption, discussions of eddie's promiscuous past (i know some people don't like when eddie is a slut), implied that reader wears eddie's clothes to bed but not that reader is small. gifs by: @keerysbrandnewbg and @eddiemunsonsource
songspiration: open | rhye and feelings | lauv
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You swirled the big ice cube in the tumbler with an unenthusiastic flair, making the orangey red liquid in the glass nearly spill. “And I don’t get it, we had a really nice first date and then made out again the next week and talked all the time and now he’s barely texting me back,” you complain, the tart grapefruit of your friend’s new take on an Aperol Spritz floods your mouth at your next sip.
“Maybe he’s just busy,” your friend Charlie suggests from behind the bar, “He’s older, you said, right? He might just not be on his phone as much. Do you like the drink? Is it too bitter?” 
“It’s bitter but not in a bad way, in a good citrussy way,” you nod, “And yeah he might not be on his phone as much but then why just sort of suddenly drop off and barely respond? Like, look at this.” You take out your phone, laying it on the bar and scrolling through a plethora of blue texts with some sprinkles of gray in between, “I look so pathetic.” “I think you just really like him,” she shrugs, smirking, “And I think that’s good, you haven’t been this excited about someone for a little bit.” “Yeah, but every time I’m excited about someone it bites me in the ass,” you lean on the palm of your hand, flipping your phone over, “Plus like, I’m not trying to be with anyone like that right now.” 
Your friend gives you a look, “Okay, sure.” 
“What do you mean ‘okay, sure’?” you scoff. 
“You’re not trying to be with anyone like your ex,” Charlie corrects, her dark red lips pulling into a smirk, “You go on and on about how you just want someone to take care of things for you. Maybe he’s that kind of dude.” 
“He has someone come every Sunday to clean his house for him,” you sip the drink again, “I don’t think he can take care of anything for me, considering I can clean my own house.”  The bar slowly starts to fill up with the after work crowd, leaving Charlie to run back and forth between you and pouring beers for incoming patrons.
“He can afford to have someone come and clean his house,” she says with a smirk, holding down the tap while she fills a glass with Lagunitas, "That's kind of hot." You flip your phone back over and sigh, no new messages.
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If anything is true in the music and art world Eddie is involved in it's that Eddie Munson is a professional loverboy. Never with someone for too long, never long enough for them to want something more than fun -- never long enough for 'Are you my boyfriend?' never long enough for 'What are we?' It got easier the older he got, the less women and men cared about labels. You were right to make that judgement about his key carabiner hanging on the front of his keys. Eddie Munson is a slut, and everyone knows it but you.
He had two actual girlfriends in his early twenties, but nothing quite like his friendship with Steve. 'Platonic life partner, sometimes,' they'd list it as -- never too afraid to get affectionate. Hugs, kisses on the forehead, Eddie held him so many nights when Emma died he felt like they left an indent in the center of the bed. He touched and loved the people who loved him back, but to anyone else – he never wanted to get too close. He always gave out just enough of him – enough for people to keep wanting more, a satisfaction he basked in now since he was such a loner in high school with no notches to his belt. 
But now he’s blabbering on to Robin over a huge plate of nachos about how you texted him all day. You texted him all day and he had his phone charging in the kitchen while he was upstairs in his office so he didn’t know and now it’s very clear that you’re upset. 
"Okay? How is this different from the girl you were seeing over Christmas?" Robin laughs over a mouthful of loaded nachos, a frosty pink Frosé next to her to beat the heat. Her eyes crinkle closed, a smattering of freckles stretching on the apples of her cheeks when she smiles. The heat of a sunburn runs soft pink over her nose, outside of the gray in her sand blonde hair that she'll never dye, she looks almost the same as she did in high school. “So you didn’t text her back,” she shrugs, “You leave her alone, she fades off into the distance – just like the girl before that, and the guy before that, and the girl before that. Why're you talking about it like it's the end of the world?”  "I care," he groans, turning his phone to show Robin your messages. You'd sent them every few hours, but most of the messages from the morning and afternoon were from when he was working -- phone nestled on the charger down in the kitchen while he clacked away on code upstairs. By the time he saw them he was embarrassed, and you were probably already at your friend's bar. Eddie tries to explain the whole situation while Robin scrolls through with a careful and soft expression, a tiny smile forming on her face. 
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“I already fucked it up,” Eddie sighs, pulling his hair up into a ponytail with volume hair stylists would envy. He runs his hand over his jaw, following the edge of it to land behind his neck where he squeeze gently on the muscle.
Robin shrugs again, passing his phone back to him, “Par for the course, kid.” 
His eyes narrow, “I’m older than you.” 
“Whatever,” she rolls her eyes, “You always fuck it up, Ed. That's your thing. You walk into a room and someone leaves crying. You've never done the whole sappy love thing with someone, why do you think you're changing your tune now?”
“I know but – fuck Robin, I didn’t even sleep with her yet,” he says a little louder than he intends. His tattooed hand wraps around the Pilsner glass in front of him, dripping in condensation, bringing it to his lips.
“That’s a new development,” she raises her brows, crossing her legs, "You never wait this long."
“I just…I don’t…I shit – I don’t know.” 
“What did Steve say?” Robin asks, teeth biting down on the straw to her drink, “He always has good girl advice.” 
“I haven’t even told Steve.” 
“At all?!” she nearly spits out the frose all over the nachos.
“Rob we just buried Em,” he explains softly, “Like, she’s not even fuckin’ cold yet. I can’t just come out of the woodwork five months later like ‘Hey man, think I actually met a girl I’d consider a future with. We’ve been seeing each other for a month’. And like – what if I’m just psyching myself out? What if this is just an early midlife crisis?” 
Robin takes a slow sip, nodding while he speaks before taking a pause. “Ed, I think you’ll feel better if you tell Steve,” she offers, “I think he’d get your head straight about it. But in the meantime, you should text her back.”
“What do I even say?” he huffs, shoving a loaded nacho into his mouth.  “Try honesty with a woman for once in your entire life, Rockstar boy,” Robin plasters on a customer service smile that makes him let out a frustrated ‘tsss’, “It won’t kill you.” "Here, I'll text Nance and ask her -- she's our next best bet," Robin takes out her phone and types with the fervor of a teenager with a sugar high. Eddie sips his beer, looking at the screen of his phone while the cursor to type blinks back at him.
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You stumble out of the bar, too crowded now to have fun with your friend. Over tired and over served you make your way down the street and around the corner, stopping to lean against the brick wall of a different bar when you feel your phone buzz in your hand. You take a minute, taking in your surroundings. People are so loud down here, and everyone is so pretty. Street lights are there and gone and there and gone as cars whiz passed on Delancey, the bustle of the Friday night life in the LES is a buzz with excitement. You're already a little down for the count. Your phone feels like a paper weight in your hand, sighing with satisfaction at the notificaiton on the screen. But your chest still aches with annoyance, how many times were you gonna get drunk at a bar with a swollen heart over some dumb boy? Man? Guy?
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You don't want him to come save you, you know how to get home. You can see the green bulbs of the train entrance and the glow of the McDonalds 'M' on the corner in the distance. Down the stairs, one train into Brooklyn, cross platform transfer -- you've done it drunker than this countless times before. You text Charlie with an air of victory before putting your phone back in your smart black faux leather bag slung over your shoulder. The warm summer air flows over your legs, catching the hem of your a-line skirt -- the light material flowing in the breeze. Time isn't working quite right for you but it feels like it's been five minutes and he hasn't shown up, so you make your way to the edge of the corner to cross.
"Whoa there, Peach," you hear Eddie's gruff voice from the side of you, the pull on your arm the same as when he steadied you at Trader Joe's a month ago, "Careful now."
You pull out of his hold, glassy eyes focused on the black and white stripes on the street ahead of you, "I know what I'm doin'."
“Where are you goin’, huh?” he asks softly. Eddie steps in front of you, guiding you to the light post to get out of the way of other pedestrians.
“Home,” you slur, “M’goin home. Trainssright there.” 
“I don’t think you’re good to take the train,” his voice is gentle, hand coming out to hold you at the waist, “I can get you a car.” 
“I’m fine.” It's the only sentence that comes out lucid, his jaw ticks.
"You don't look fine," he looks down into your glassy eyes, a look he's seen before. The way his mama would drown herself in whiskey and stumble into the kitchen so the bruises would't hurt so bad. The way an old fling would slur to him about how she can't live without him. The way you look so sad and it's his fault.
"I'm. Fine," you reiteratie. The light changes, the bright white of the walk sign flashes across the street. You go to pass him but his hands place themselves on your shoulders. "You really wanna get boiled alive on the train?" he asks with a smile, "You don't wanna take a car?" You sigh, why does he have to be so handsome? The gin from your last two drinks travels from your head to your thighs, pulling them together at the sight of his smile. He has that ratty vest on, a CBGC t-shirt sticking to him under it, the sleeves completely torn off. He smells like cedar and citrus again, a hint of a left over cigarette. His grays catch the light of the over head lamp, bouncing like tinsel in his pony tail sitting on the crown of his head. "Can we go to your house?" you ask, voice raised a higher octave than normal. His face blanches, "Aw honey, that's not a good idea. I don't want you to think that I --" "Please?"
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"Thanks, have a good night," Eddie waves off the delivery man with a smile as he rides away on his bike. With plastic in hand he makes his way back up the stairs where you've set up shop on one of the stools in his kitchen, head down on the island counter.
"Food's here," he says quietly. Dealing with drunk you was very much like dealing with drunk Robin in the early 2010s, overgrown toddler in a bad mood. You let out a half hearted 'Yay', head coming up, eyes half closed in the kind of sleepiness a few mixed drinks and some beers can send you into. He goes into the fridge and pulls out two bottles of Poland Spring and a beer for himself. The waters get placed in front of you while he tends to getting the food plated up.
You ignore the water -- Blue Moon bottle staring right at you, and to be honest -- a cold cirtussy beer sounds sooo good right now. You reach forward, the glass ice cold against your palm now that the liquor has fully settled, heating up your skin. The sound of glass on the counter cobbles through the kitchen when you slide it closer to you, alerting Eddie to the noise.
“Excuse me,” he says sharply, snatching the bottle out of your hand, “Can you behave?” 
You pout when his eyes narrow at you, heart thumping guiltily in your chest, shame brewing in your skin. You nod back at him with sad eyes, a twinge plucking in your heart strings.
“Don’t give me that face,” he warns, “Don't act up."
“I don’t like when you’re mean,” you mumble softly, running your fingers in shapes over the butcher's block counter top. He sighs, plating your sandwich and pulling your fries from the bag. He kisses your temple while he slides the plate in front of you. "I'm sorry, honey," he says quietly, but gin always puts you in the mood to argue. "You don't have to talk to me like, like -- you don't have to talk to me -hic!- like I'm a kid," you hurtle out, surprised at your own gumption, "I'm not."
"I know," he says, putting the bags into his recycling bin under the sink, "I'm not talking to you in any kind of way Peach I -- " "You don't even like me," you state. His head cocks to the side, leaning on his hands while they hold on to the edge of the island. "Who said that?" "I was -hic!- I was talking to someone at the bar about --" you start, lump building in your throat, "About you and um -- they said, they said it sounds like --" Your eyes water, "Like I'm just for fun." "Oh," he says, looking down at his hands. The weight of this conversation falling into his stomach from his chest like a deep pit.
"Like I'm just fun for you to play with -- but like, you don't even wanna have -- you don'even wanna h-have-have seggzwithme so like -- you don't even like me." More and more if your insecurities flow out of you like a broken faucet, tears starting to slip down your cheeks.
"And like you probably don't even think I'm pretty."
"Oh, baby, no," he coos, brows tilted in sympathy while you drunkenly let all your sober fears out, "I think you're so pretty."
"So pretty," you repeat, wiping your face with your hands, "But that's it."
Eddie takes a deep breath, coming over to you and pressing his warm soft lips to your cheek, "Let's talk about this in the morning, sweetheart. I'm gonna get upstairs ready for you."
"I should just go home," you sniffle, embarrassment starting to flow through you with your bloodstream, burning all your pores, "I'm sorry." "No, no, don't go home," he assures, nose nuzzling against your cheek, "Stay. Just stay."
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He makes sure you eat, watching you come back to yourself the fuller and more hydrated you get. You're easy to lead upstairs, pliant and tired now, needy almost -- not that you'd ever admit to it. You tease him about his 'old man pills' when he takes out his perscription high dose Motrin he got for some old back pain. Great for when you might get a killer hangover these days. You grimace at the Pedialyte mixture he has you drink before you get tucked into his bed -- out before you can even feel him grab the pillows and a throw from the other side of you. He settles in downstairs on the sectional, sighing while he thinks about the way your face scrunches when you're about to cry. He flicks through his Hulu options on the big screen in front of him but nothing really seems to catch his attention. Mind wandering to you asleep upstairs but knowing better than to crawl into bed next to you when you're not yourself enough to say it's okay. The familiar buzz of his phone goes off on the coffee table, when he picks it up his face is on the front screen while someone calls in on FaceTime. "You're callin' late, man," Eddie grins lazily, socked feet sticking out to rest on the worn walnut table in front of him, "You okay?" "Yeah me and Bandit just got in from camping. Got some pics of him to send you, he's such a scamp." "You have fun?" he asks, rubbing his eyes. Eddie's voice is quiet while he speaks making Steve's head cock to the side. The lights changes on his face while he walks from the living room to his bedroom. "Yeah we had a lot of fun," Steve starts, "Why're you whispering?" "What do you mean?" Eddie asks, getting up off the couch to pad back into the kitchen. "You're talkin' all quiet," Steve smirks, "You got a girl over or something?" Ed puts his phone down and huffs while he grabs a bag of chips from the cabinet. Steve giggle, leaning his head in closer to the screen. "You do, don't you?" he guffaws, "Am I interrupting?" "She's sleeping," Eddie says softly, picking up the phone again and leaning against the counter. "Aw, so you ended up texting her back? Good."
"What the fuck? Who told you that?" Eddie's brows furrow, spitting through a mouthful of chips. "Robin, obviously." The light changes on him again while he makes his way to his own kitchen. Bandit's little pants and huffs echoing into the phone, "You think Nancy came up with the 'Hey pretty girl,' opening? She's never been a flirt."
"Well it worked so, congrats."
"Why didn't you tell me about her?" Steve pulls his own bag of chips out. They crunch together. "It just didn't seem right," he shrugs, "Y'know with Emma it's hard to be like, 'Hey I think I might actually see a future with this girl I've only been seeing for a few weeks.' Like, you just lost the love of your life."
"I'm not gonna be sad to hear that you're into someone, Ed," Steve smiles softly, voice calm, "Tell me about her."
So he does, he tells Steve about how he kept running into you that day at Trader Joe's and how he felt so stupid for not waiting at the doors for you but he was too scared. You were so cute in your bike shorts and sneakers, so careful in how you chose the fruit you were gonna get. When he saw you on the platform he knew it was like he was getting a second chance -- "Maybe Em thought you should stop being such a whore and sent her over," Steve laughs. Ed rolls his eyes but can't hold back his chuckle, watching as Steve rests his chin on the heel of his hand while he listens. Eddie talks about the picnic date, how he immediately felt comfortable telling you about his mom. The rain, the kiss in his apartment -- how he could've fucked you but didn't. How all your little dates had gone since.
"Oh so you like her," Steve nods.
"I'm scared," Eddie says quietly. "Scared?"
"What if it's just a fluke and I hurt her? Or I get hurt?" Eddie asks, "And like -- please don't take this the wrong way but like -- what if I put in all this effort and then lose her?"
"Like how I lost Em?"
Eddie nods slowly, not wanting to say the quiet part out loud. He talks about what you said when you got back to his place, how you think he doesn't really like you, how he doesn't think you're pretty. You're just for fun. "But this doesn't feel like 'just for fun', does it?" Steve challenges gently, "Cause if she was just for fun you would've texted me about if she could deep throat or not."
Eddie chuckles darkly, pink rising on his cheeks -- Steve chuckles too. Still gross boys who are gross.
"You should tell her how you feel," he encourages, "What's the worst that can happen?" "Everything."
"Okay," Steve shrugs, "I lost everything. And what happened?"
"We all came to pick you up." "Exactly. We'll be here to pick you up, too. Don't like..." Steve sighs, "Don't just immediately throw something away just because you're not used to it. The more you stand there and think about what you want, the less she's gonna think you want it."
"I know..." "So let her know you want it."
They talk for an hour, both cozied up on their respective couches -- Bandit immediately getting in the frame and yelping at Eddie's face on the screen. The seize in Eddie's chest loosens because maybe this could be okay. Now he just has to make sure you know it.
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You wake up the next morning, groggy and dry -- but thankfully not nearly as hungover as you were expecting. Your joints hurt, your stomach's a little jumbled, but no headache and that's what matters the most. You shift in his crisp sheets, turning around to see that the bed is empty next to you -- pillows and throw blanket gone with him. You slept alone. You look at your phone on the bedside table next to a full bottle of water. You chug it while you check your notifications -- 6:11 AM. If anything was true, you always woke up too early when you drank too much the night before. The water sits heavy in your belly, pressing your bladder which was already screaming for you to go to the bathroom. With a sigh you stand up, and when you do, the embarrassment of the night before settles in. Your emotional hangover.
You pad to the bathroom and pee, seeing your face in the mirror like you did the night you got rained out. Your makeup is smeared, face a little bloated -- you do your best to wash it off. The cool water feels good against your skin, still hot from the liquor and dehydration. You pat your face dry and leave the bathroom, lingering at the top of the stairs where he's laying on the couch, already awake. "G'morning," you rasp out. He perks up, head tilting up to look at you from his place in the living room. "Morning, peach," he smiles, "You feelin' okay?"
You nod, ungracefully stomping down the metal steps of the spiral staircase while you get your footing, "Your old man pills must be magic or something."
Eddie pulls back the blanket, scooching back against the cushions to make room for you to lay down next to him, "C'mere, baby."
C'mere, baby runs down your spine, making your throat catch. You make your way towards the couch, crawling in next to him. The living room is quiet, with just some early morning sun pooling into the windows -- like you two are the only people awake on the street this morning. He covers you up, wasting no time wrapping himself around you and pulling you into him, "Did you sleep okay?"
"Yeah," you nod into his chest, the scent of his skin mixing with the faint smell of cirtus and cedar, "Did you?" "Normally I'm fine on the couch," he says, voice grizzly and sleepy, "But I didn't sleep a wink last night." "Oh, I'm sorry. I could've slept on the couch or I --" "No, it's not that," he shakes his head, catching your gaze, "Probably would've slept better if you were next to me." Your cheeks burn, a smile splittling across your face, "Well I'm here now."
"You are," he nods, leaning up to run his thumb over the apple of your cheek where a stray piece of glitter sits. Remnants of your makeup that you couldn't wash away.
"I'm um...sorry for how I acted last night," you confess, "That's not like -- that's not how I am."
"Don't be sorry," he assures quietly, "I understand." You're both quiet for a moment, the hum of the central air fuzzing the silence between you. "You're not just for fun, peach," he says, a seriousness to his normally playful voice, "I'm sorry I made you feel like that." "I um -- I'm sorry I kind of went a little insane," you shrug, feeling small, "I didn't mean to text all those times and then come here and cry and like --" "Stop apologizing," he says, thumb grazing your lower lip to stop you, "You were just feeling a way, that's okay. I get it." He takes his thumb away, leaning down to give you a kiss that sends you reeling. Warm and soft, delicate. His hands lead his arms around you again, smiling when you reach up to cup his cheek. "I like you," Eddie smirks against your mouth. "I like you, too," you smile when he breaks away. "The deli's open on the corner if you want me to run over and get a bacon, egg, and cheese," he offers quietly. "Why do I feel like you were gonna do that anyway?" you ask in the same tone. "I was," he grins again, "I just wanted to impress you by asking." He sits up, clamboring over you to get some coffee started so it'll be done by the time he gets back. You wait patiently for him, rolling your eyes while he shoves his socked feet in his slides, leaving the house in his pajamas of a t-shirt and black joggers. You prepare the coffees, feeling domestic like you live here -- getting used to where things are already.
He comes back twenty minutes later, sighing when the air conditioning hits him as the door opens, "It's already like, 80 degrees."
"Gross," you reply, face scrunching in the way that he likes, "Coffee is ready." "Oh, thank you." His eyes glitter at the gesture, seeing that you used the same mugs from when he had you over the first time. Those are his favorites, but you'll learn that eventually. The sandwhiches are tossed on the butcher block counter where you cried last night, but your embarrassment melts away when you feel him wrap himself around you again -- like he can't get enough. "I'm playing a show on Thursday at House of Yes," he says, "They're doing a metal theme'd night." "Yeah?" you ask, hands reaching for the plastic baggy and taking out both of your sadwhiches wrapped in foil. His arms still tight around your middle while you maneuver around your kitchen. "You should come," he asks, kissing the top of your head, "I'll get you a ticket."
"I don't know if that's really my scene," you shrug, twisting in his hold to face him, "I'm not like -- I'm not cool and underground like that." "So?" he quirks his brow, "You can be cool and underground for one night to hang out with your hottie rockstar boy-toy."
"That's so gross that you described yourself that way," you laugh, pushing out of his hug and opening your sandwhich, "Like, so cringey, babe." "Babe," he repeats back to you, "I like that. You can call me 'babe' whenever you want." "Duly noted," you agree, teeth sinking into the bread of the roll and breaking into the warm and gooey center. The jumble in your stomach starting to fade away while the grease of the egg soothes it. Eddie takes his sandwhich and coffee to the living room, taking his phone off the coffee table to open up his text conversation with Steve:
she called me babe.
i literally can't even breathe right now.
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chichiscloset · 1 year
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Soft Life 101: 3 Steps to Escape Your 9-5 Job If You Don’t Want to Work
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Before we start, I want to clarify what I mean by “Not wanting to work.”
It means, that I don’t want to exhaust myself. I want to roll out of bed at 8 am then go to a workout class at 9 am. I want to spend my time as I please while keeping my workload to a minimum.
Working consistently, burns me out. I have no desire to prove my worth through productivity, nor do I have any desire to engage in hustle culture. I’m sure many of us can relate to feeling like the pressure to perform is exhausting. This is likely why, “soft life” is the latest trend on social media and has taken the girlies on Tiktok by storm.
In this new soft life era apparently, no one has a job and everyone is a "sahm" or "sahgf". While I understand the desire to escape the matrix and have a man you can fully depend on. Creating a more balanced and fulfilling life does not have to solely depend on your partner (though it helps!).
At the end of the day we still all want money! So how can we create an abundant life while still having a work-life balance?
Step 1: Be willing to make sacrifices
There is no such thing as something for nothing. Get that out of your head! I know we sometimes want to be saved, but unfortunately, life isn’t always a fairytale. Everything that we desire in life requires us to give up something else.
Do you want a better body? Give up junk food and exercise more. Do you want a better man? Give up your dust! To bring in the new we have to get rid of the old. If you want a soft life you’re going to have to strategize and be willing to give up what is no longer serving you.
Step 2: Find a passion you can monetize
*major key*
As the saying goes, “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life”. Find something you enjoy doing, then figure out how you, can earn money from it. Are you good at doing hair? Become a hairdresser. Are you the best dressed in your circle? Become a virtual stylist. I promise you, for whatever talent you have there are people willing to pay you for it!
For myself, I love teaching and writing! Blogging is a great way to share my expertise, create passive income, and create the life of my dreams that don’t necessarily depend on me going into a job. Also, you can make money blogging with a relatively small audience.
Check out my blog post "Make Money When your Young, Pretty & Ambitious." For more on this topic.
Step 3: Invest, invest, invest
*Another major key*
We all need money to survive. There’s no way around it! Ideally, we would live a life where money isn’t an issue and if that is your goal you have to start investing ASAP! By investing in assets eventually, those assets will make you money.
For example, invest in stocks like the S&P 500 (which is an index fund that is essentially many companies in one stock). Invest in stocks that will grow over time and make you more money than you bought them for. There are tons of ways to start investing: choose one!
A few types of investments
Real estate
Stocks
Businesses
If living a soft life is a priority to you start today with these steps that will eventually allow you to either fully retire or work minimally. If you don’t, you’ll just be stuck doing something you don’t enjoy or waiting for prince charming to come and save you.
©Chichiscloset 2023
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seravphs · 11 months
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ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — NANAMI x FEM READER
Gojo sets you up with your future husband in the middle of English class.
wc — 700
tags — Gojo’s annoying ass, stay at home husband Nanami, title from manga of the same name 
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“Honey, I’m home,” you call. 
Immediately, Nanami comes to the door clad in his pastel yellow apron with little ducks. It matches his hair and complements his pink dish gloves perfectly. 
“I’d hug you but I’m a little dirty at the moment,” he says. 
“Who cares?” You wrap your arms around him to his spluttered protests. 
When he falls suspiciously silent, you look up to see what’s wrong. You follow his soft gaze to the ring on your finger, your arms still looped around his neck. 
“You know I hate owing Gojo anything, but I really am grateful for this one,” he says, leaning down to kiss your cheek. 
It is thanks to Gojo that you got married, after all. 
In high school, Gojo Satoru was a menace who loves meddling in your love life. He treated you like a little sister, which meant he was also comfortable doing whatever he wanted to you without consequence. 
You should’ve known better than to trust him, but he piques your interest when he asks, “Hey, you know Nanami from our econ class?”
“I do not dream of labor Nanami?” You ask. 
“All jobs are shitty, this is just slightly less shitty Nanami?” Chimes in Yuki across the table.
“Even when I’m asleep the only thing I think about is money Nanami?” From your side, even Utahime is interested in the conversation, a rarer occasion than a eclipse. 
“That’s the one!” Gojo beckons you closer. Of course, you stay right where you are, because you don’t trust him. He crooks his fingers at you again, coaxing, “Come on, come on. Don’t you trust me?” 
“Absolutely not.” 
“Fine, have it your way,” he says, rolling his eyes. Then, at a volume completely unnecessary and loud enough for everyone within a five mile radius to hear, he all but yells, “You would like Nanami! I’m setting you two up.” 
You would slap him, but he’s faster, catching your arm like he anticipated the blow. He probably did. 
“Gojo, what the fuck?!” You hiss. 
“Shhh, I’m doing you a favor! My two most boring friends, one ambitious, one indolent - you two are a match made in heaven.” 
You squint at him. “Isn’t Nanami the top of our class? He works harder than anyone else, I don’t know what you’re saying.” 
“Okay, but it’s not because he wants to. He hates working, he just wants to live comfortably. You see where I’m going with this?” 
You really, really don’t. 
“God, do I have to spell everything out for you? I really am a blessing to you poor-“ 
“Gojo.” 
“Fine, whatever! Let’s do the math. You want to become a CEO or something, I wasn’t really paying attention when you told me about it. Nanami wants to be a live in housewife who’s only job is to cook, clean, and love his partner. One plus one equals two, he can be your housewife.” 
“I can be what now?” You refuse to turn around, like if you can’t see him, he’ll go away eventually.  He must’ve been summoned by Gojo’s annoyingly loud volume. 
Gojo has no such shame. “Perfect, I don’t even have to go looking for you! I’ll leave you two to it. Use protection or actually don’t, so you can give me godchildren!” 
He dodges your attempt at murder for the second time and skips off, humming to himself. You’re never speaking to him again, you resolve. Nanami’s presence looms at your back, stiff and uncomfortable. How do you break the ice? 
“You…don’t have to be a househusband,” you offer. That is not the way you wanted to start your introduction, but for some reason your mouth won’t stop moving no matter how much you beg yourself to shut up. “We can be double income, if you want, but I’m sure I can make enough for both of us.” 
You’re silently begging the ground to just swallow you up to escape your earthly torment when he laughs. It’s a pretty thing, not like bells or wind chimes as the books describe, but beautiful nonetheless. 
He smiles down on you as he says, “I’m okay being a househusband if you’ll have me.” 
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gojos-thot-patrol · 1 year
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This can be SFW or nsfw or both, whatever you fancy hehe, but can you do turn ons and turn offs for the jjk men? Plz and thnx o holy one ☝🏽
Oh reader, Don't call me Holy, I might just fuck around and start a cult ♥️
Now Presenting...
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Starring Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Nanami Kento, and Ryomen Sukuna
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Satoru Gojo
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You existing is his main turn on.
Jk.
…..But not really.
When girls with enough hair tie it up OR let it down? That's his drug.
When you let out a little giggle at his stupid jokes? Heroin 
That look you give him when he’s being actively dumb? It’s going to make him act up even more.
The look on your face when you're concentrating? Begs him to break that concentration.
Also just like…dominant people. 
Honestly I feel like Gojo is a little bit of a masochist, ngl. So like, little pats on the back that are just a bit too rough do it for him
Honestly, say anything with a little bit of bass in your voice and he’s hooked
Thigh highs, he fucking loves thigh high stockings.
Thighs in general really, thick thighs save lives
The little dimples at the base of your spine? Drive him fucking wild. 
And your moans are basically an aphrodisiac for him.
Blindfolds on him? Eh. On you? Next level. 
Edge him, please edge him, he’s begging
As for turn offs
Spit, blood, piss, bodily fluids of that nature, off the table.
I’m going to keep it real with you, I do think he’s at least a little turned off by condoms. He thinks his pullout game is that strong enough and he’s so touch starved, that when he does get to that point with you he wants zero barriers between you.
Feet. He hates them. Keep your grippers to yourself.
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Suguru Geto
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He is verrrryyy….musically motivated. 
Certain songs really get him going, and no it’s not what you're thinking. 
You’re thinkin’ Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter, I’m talkin’ Animal by Nine Inch Nails
Concerts in general are a turn on for him. The energy goes straight to his dick.
He takes you to a concert and half way through he’s fucking you in the filthy ass bathroom
For similar reasons, you singing is a major turn on for him.
Also, when you stretch to try and reach something and your shirt rides up and he can see your tummy?
He’s going to go feral. 
Stripteases are also a major turn on for him. 
You begging him to fuck you is far better than opium as far as hes concerned. It scratches his corruption kink 
Honestly? This may be controversial but he loves it when you say you hate him.
Cause that just gives him a reason to show you why that's bullshit. 
Head is another major turn on for him, both giving and receiving he is ALL ABOUT IT
Also he’s into voyeurism. Look at him. 
Call him sir and watch him lose all control. 
Call him daddy and watch him walk away LMAO
Vore is a major MAJOR turn off for him. It reminds him of swallowing curses and makes him GAG
Honestly anything relating to the jujutsu sorcerers or work turns him off ngl
Actively trying to be sexy is another turn off for him. Like, just let it happen naturally and be in the flow. He thinks people trying to force “being sexy” (Like thirst traps for example) Are often stilted and awkward and maybe even a little funny?
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Nanami Kento
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Some of Nanamis turn ons include:
A stable income
A 401k
A retirement plan!
Nanami is the most turned on by STABILITY. 
Nanami is more than willing to take care of his partner, but he does want to feel like this is a partnership. 
Now, all jokes aside, Nanami is a man of taste. 
He finds hip dips intoxicating, and loves the spine line along your back.
The way you laugh is an aphrodisiac to him.
But, he's not all fluff. If we’re talking nsfw…
He loves a solid matching set. Lingerie in general really is a huge turn on for him.
If you’ve read my NSFW headcanons (See: Here) you know why 👀
Dirty talk is another turn on for him, as he uses it to get consistent consent from you
Call him daddy. Call him daddy, I dare you, watch him ACT UP
He also l o v e s  LOVES  to see you covered in marks. He’s all about it.
Now, As for his turn offs..
Nanami is big on smells. This isn’t even like a “Bad hygiene turns him off” because, yea fair. No, I mean things like, Coconut or pear smells actively turn him off. Buy the wrong shampoo and face the consequences.
Also, blood. I don’t see him as a period sex guy, his job is too bloody for him not to be turned off by it.
Forcing your voice to go up in pitch. AKA: The uwu voice. If that’s naturally how you talk, that's one thing, but putting on a voice is another. 
Call him Daddy in the UWU voice, that will really confuse him. 
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Ryomen Sukuna
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Ryomen is fucked up dude, I’m not gonna front LMAO
Lets start light before we get fucked up.
It turns him on when you need him. When you need him to get something off the top shelf or open a jar or whatever. That shit turns him up to 10 because he loves feeling like you’re dependent on him
It turns him on as well when you try to question his authority. He loves to see that feistiness in you...and also cause he knows that he’s about to get to punish you.
In kinda the same vein, it turns him on when he sees you being bad, but not defiant against him.
Like, if he catches you being particularly mean to one of the servants? That scratches his corruption kink, he’s gonna lose his shit.  
Now, on to the main event
Remember when I said blood was a turn off for Nanami? THE EXACT OPPOSITE FOR RYOMEN.
He will purposely bite you until you bleed.
In the same vein, crying. You crying activates the predator part of his brain and he loves it
He’s a sadist, there I said it.
He also loves watching your tits bounce when he’s fucking you, that shit will make him go feral.
He loves when you get cock drunk for him, seeing you desperate for him to fuck you strokes his ego in all of the best ways.
He’s got a praise kink, but he won't admit that.
This is about to be so vulgar…watching his cum drip out of your pussy makes him want to fuck you full again. Yep, take that line in
And like, if he ever knocks you up, god help you both cause his breeding kink will not let either of you rest.
Now, turn offs for him?
Honestly I see Ryomen as constantly horny so there's not many.
You flirting with someone else would be a turn off for him, but he’s also going to kill you for it.
Getting food involved in any way I feel like would be a major turn off for him, that's the  vibe I get.
If you tell him you love him in the middle of the act it might scare his boner away, ngl.
….that's it.
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drkmgs · 1 year
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TikTok live
Jenna Ortega x Reader
Warning: You'll die because of the cringe...
With this post, I would like to thank all the readers, who have been reading all of my work. I highly appreciate the likes, the reblogs the replies and even the requests. Also to my 430 followers, THANK YOU.
Stay tuned for updates!
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You met Jenna at the set of the Netflix series Wednesday for Season 2. You had the role being her partner in crime, which created a great bond between you two. It did start as a friendship but it quickly developed into more than that and with you just starting in the Industry and Jenna being in the upbringing, both of you didn't want to mess that up, so keeping it private was a good decision.
Now being less busy and having time to just lay around and do nothing, you go on TikTok to waste time. When you didn't find any good videos to laugh about, you decided to start a TikTok live. You did send a quick text to Jenna, that you were going live on TikTok, so she could time her homecoming. You didn't bother to look if she saw it, you just went on and click the Live button. At first, you were sitting on the couch looking like a couch potato, you proceed to ask incoming viewers what to do.
They suggested a lot of things like singing, dancing, turning on some music, telling stories, or cooking. Turning on some music didn't sound bad, so you did. You started bopping to the beat and seconds after you were having a party in your living room. The little party did make you hungry so you told the viewers you'll cook something. You walked into the kitchen, still bopping your head to the music. You took out a ramen noodle package from the cabinet. You swiftly took a little pot and filled it with water, then put it on the stove. While waiting for the water to boil, you stared at your phone trying to read and answer all the comments.
"What is it like to work with Jenna Ortega?", your smile was from ear to ear.
"Well, she's incredible to work with. Her professionalism is remarkable. I mean come on guys! Before I got the role in Wednesday, I was a fan and still am!", you say, still having that smile on your face.
"Talking about me?", you flinched at the voice and at the arms that are wrapping around your torso. You quickly cover the camera with your hand. The music was so loud and you were occupied answering questions, that you didn't hear her opening the door. She intended to give you a quick kiss and hide but didn't mean to make a loud smacking noise. Both of you cringed at the noise and prayed that the viewers of your TikTok live didn't hear it. You could feel the vibration of your phone and you could tell that your TikTok live is exploding.
Jenna dashed into your room to hide and you continue your TikTok live, as if nothing happened, but your viewers didn't stop spamming.
"Who's with me?", you looked behind you messing with them. "Can you see stuff that I can't see?", you asked them and took the phone to show them around the apartment. "See there's no one", you show them every corner of the kitchen and living room. "My room?", you hoped that Jenna heard you standing in front of your bedroom door. When you opened it, you were glad she was already hiding somewhere. You showed them a quick tour around your room, not showing your desk where a lot of Polaroid pictures of you and Jenna were hanging, but you showed them your balcony where no one was hiding. You left the room swiftly and entered the kitchen, where your now cold water again was waiting. You let your TikTok Live run until you finished with your instant ramen and bragged about how good it looked, then you said your goodbyes and turned it off.
As soon as you turned it off, you called for Jenna. You see her peeking out of your bedroom, you snorted and called her over. She skipped over to one of the high chairs and took a sit in front of you. You smiled at her and pushed the bowl with newly cooked ramen to her. She gladly took it and started sipping on the soup with a spoon.
———
Well, you did expect fans to record your TikTok Live and made their conspiracy theories about what happened in your Live yesterday. The camera did capture Jenna's arms wrapping around you, so many of the clips you saw on TikTok were comparing it with Jenna's and other potential celebrities. Some of the girls that were compared were off-charts because you don't even know them or you only saw them at some awards show and had a little interaction. Then some videos are so accurate that you felt stalked or someone installed a camera in your apartment.
You immediately dismissed that thought, because you don't want to make yourself paranoid. You turned off your phone and turned your attention to the beautiful girl sitting beside you watching one of her favorite movies.
"This is the best part of it.", she says pointing at the TV while munching on her popcorn. "Yeah?", you reply, not looking where she's pointing at. She turned her head to you with a glare. "You're not even watching.", she says. "I am. I am watching the best part of my life right now.", you say starting to laugh because it sounded better in your head than out loud. "You just didn't say that.", Jenna scrunched her nose as she cringed at your attempt to be romantic. "Yup. I just said it. My baby. My sugarplum. My everything.", you added and engulfed her in a tight hug as she cringes more at your statement.
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vaspider · 1 year
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Intro Post, updated March 1, 2023
I post all asks under the name they were submitted under, and I post them when I feel like answering them. I will never honor a request to answer an ask privately or anonymously. Anon is never turned on. These are hard self-care boundaries. Please block the tag "harassment tag" if you don't want to be subjected to some of the horrible shit I get sent sometimes.
If you like what I do, please consider hiring me, consider buying something from NerdyKeppie (the shop I own with my spouse - we do custom work!), consider buying me a coffee or becoming a Patron or tossing some money in my PayPal tip jar. I am a disabled, queer, fat, Jewish non-binary butch whose entire income is derived from selling Quality Queerwear via our company NerdyKeppie (we also offer patches of all sorts, nerd gear, etc -- if you don’t see it, ask!), Patreon (queer fiction for a dollar) and freelance work.
If asking me to boost a post for you, ask at most once per week, and please don't make that the only way you interact with me, or follow me just to send an ask that I boost your posts. I notice, and I'll end up just blocking you if you make me feel "used." It's gross, y'all. I'm glad to help, but don't use me. It's getting to a point where I'm starting to feel pretty gross about it, and I'm one of the more relaxed ppl about boosting posts, so please don't put me in a position where I feel like I have to stop doing it.
I will not debate my identity or its history with anyone. I am a transmasculine non-binary butch lesbian, a cripple, a dyke, and lots of other things, too. You don't get a vote in that, and if any of those words are words you can't stand to have someone use around you in reference to himself, go ahead and block me. I won't censor my identity for your comfort; I took a long time becoming proud of who I am.
No, I am not an anti or an anti-anti. Literally no one cares about these distinctions outside of Tumblr. Please leave me alone. I am not going to have that conversation. No is a complete sentence.
I’m not interested in interacting with TWERFs, SWERFs, or any sort of exclusionary LGBTQ/queer people. Y'all are exhausting.
Do the work to root out TERF/2nd-wave "man bad woman good" philosophies from your head. Do the work to root out the gendered behavior you were taught. I am not here to raise other people's children.
I am not here to raise other people's children. My daughter is an adult and I am done being responsible for the experiences of a minor. If you read or interact with me, you acknowledge that you chose to do that and I can't control what happens to what I post once I post it on my Tumblr. People will reblog it and I can't control where it ends up. I can only control what I say in my space, which I do.
Curate your own online experiences. If you don't like seeing what I write, then add 'vaspider' to your "filtered content" list and don't bother me about it. Tumblr is a 17+ environment and I am not responsible for you seeing things you don't like. Adults having adult conversations do not need to be filtered for children. This is your notification.
I’ve been Out for over 30 years. I don't tolerate lectures from strangers, especially people half my age, about history I lived through.
I'm transmasc and if you believe transmisandry/transandrophobia aren't "real things," or that transmascs aren't "really oppressed," please just leave me alone. Oppression Olympics are bad, actually.
My immediate family consists of my partners, my adult daughter, and our dogs.
No one in my immediate family is cis or het. I have been called Spider for 20+ years, & now a lot of people call me Mama Spider. Mom is a role, it need not be gendered.
This is a lot shorter than it used to be. I don't really feel like posting paragraphs explaining stuff anymore.
My icon has lore, apparently.
I post all asks and anon is never turned on.
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Would I (early 20s nb) be the asshole for "rushing"/taking over the responsibility my partner(early to mid 20s f) took to rehome a cat we adopted together?
🐉🐱 <- so I notice myself
Tw for cat death
I know this sounds terrible just from the title but please read the whole thing. I'm just so emotionally done at this point and it's getting dangerous for us. This is also long lmao and please don't post this to YouTube or TikTok, I don't wanna deal with it, even if I changed names and a few ages.
So I've been living with my partner and her family for almost 3 years. I moved 10 hrs away from my home state to live with her because my parents were abusive. We dated for about 2 years prior to me moving. My partners family are equally abusive just in different ways. My family had some verbal and emotional/mental abuse while her family has constantly threatened physical abuse and lots of mental and verbal abuse.
Either way, I was screwed but I'd rather at least be able to come home to the love of my life instead of only being able to text her. I should mention here that my partner works full time while I'm working to get on disability for mobility issues so I am with our cats every day. I bring a little income with commissions on my crafts but it's not enough to soully sustain us.
When I moved in, my partner had 2 cats, let's call them Salem and Vector. Salem was a 10 yr old male cat and Vector was 2 yr old male cat. About a year after I moved in, in the beginning of 2022, Salem died suddenly from kidney failure and we were devastated. Salem wasn't originally my partner's cat (she'd gotten him from a friend only a year prior to me moving in) but we still loved him deeply. He was the first pet I ever put down and I'll never forget my partner's sobbing. About 2 and ½ months later, we got a kitten, lets call him Arthur, a 3 month old male. We shouldn't have but my partner wanted one, I thought I was ready and Vector was very very lonely and depressed.
I named Arthur and Arthur was feisty from the very beginning but he was sweetish. I told my partner, in a panic late at night a week after getting him; that I wasn't ready for a new kitten, i regretted getting him, we werent bonding, etc etc and she told me to just relax and breathe and give it time so i did. I gave it a full year and a half and... I'm ashamed to say I still don't feel that love connection with him. It started out small; chewing and destroying wires, food aggression (not like he'd bite us if we went near his food, more just got very excited and would painfully climb us to get to our food or any food) and because he was so jumpy, he'd freak out over every sound and rip us up trying to jump off of us.
We got Arthur from a cat colony being watched over by my partner's coworkers however he was born indoors, spent the necessary time with Mom and was handled from day one so he wasn't feral. He'd wouldn't beat us up but anytime he got excited to play or get pet or get wet food or anything we got scarred. His destruction has just gotten worse the older he's gotten, hes very very loud all the time (we like vocal cats but he screams) and he's not affectionate at all. He's not mean but he's just not interested in any cuddling or pets or anything. I don't want a rug I have to feed and clean up shit after.
About 4 months later, we ended up with, let's call her Coral. Coral was another kitten, female this time, when she crawled up in my car. She was feral from the start but she quickly became very loving and cuddly and sweet. She still very much so is. I wanna say, although I never grew a particular fondness for Arthur like my partner has, I've never mistreated, abused or neglected Arthur in any way. I've never yelled at him or treated him differently from our other cats. He got the same cuddles and attention Coral and Vector get, the only difference is that Arthur is crated at night so he doesn't make us lose an eye from some hard zoomies or get into food or dangerous things when we can't watch him. He's out all day and is only crated from 12 pm to 7 am when my partner gets up and let's him out. He's got a bed, food and water, a few toys and a small litter box in his crate so he's covered and he can see us and his siblings the entire night so hes not have separation anxiety.
Now onto the hard part. I'm done with Arthur. Emotional and physically, I don't want Arthur anymore. I'm exhausted from being constantly ripped up and screamed at and having important things destroyed by Arthur the spider cat. No amount of clicker training or treats or sprays of water or redirections can stop him from ripping the room apart(said room is a small apartment, not a normal small room). He gets played with by us all the time and he's got 2 energetic siblings who play with him, we don't know why he acts this way. I could handle Arthur's antics for a bit longer if needed but 2 new issues have made me finally put my foot down about Arthur's further residence with us.
1. Arthur is constantly trying to dominate Coral to the point of hurting her and fur flying fights and scratches. It should be noted that all three cats were neutered/spayed the moment they were of age to do so so it's not a male cat thing. Arthur wants to be higher in the hierarchy but Coral won't take it and thus, some nasty screaming hissy cat fights. Almost very other time they are fine it's just when he gets humpy. There is also a near weekly occurrence of him not reading her " I don't want to play anymore" signals and fights ensue. I'm not gonna stand my cats hurting each other and Arthur is the constant instigator. He tries to fight with Vector too but gets put down immediately, he picks on Coral and not in a playful way. I'm not playing favorites because I love Coral and I'm not connected with Arthur, if Coral was aggressive, we'd take the issue just as seriously but Arthur is the aggressor and Coral is smaller and younger than him so she can't stand up for herself.
2. We need to get out of this house. Her family's abuse is worsening and they constantly joke about hurting our pets and their own pets (the pets have never seen each other, different floors of the house so Arthur's aggression has nothing to do with them). We could barely afford an apartment in the current housing crisis and can barely find ones that allow 1 cat, let alone 2. We have never and probably will never find one that allows 3. All this ignoring the fact we'd lose our deposit instantly from Arthur's destruction.
All in all, Arthur needs to go. I'm noticing myself getting more and more stressed and frustrated and short with a Arthur and he doesn't deserve to live with someone who doesn't love him. Even if he's treated no differently, I'm sure Arthur can tell and even if I feel justified in my lack of love for him, I know he's not trying to hurt us or destroy things maliciously. I'm not nor will ever hurt him but I'm just done with constantly flinching cause he jumped on the bed or dreading letting him out of the cage in the morning because it was so peaceful before then.
I told my partner about 8 months ago (June of 2023) that I was fully done with Arthur and if we ever wanted to leave here, he'd have to go. I told my partner I wanted to start this process in Sept and hopefully have him either rehome or in a no-kill shelter by the end of Oct. I know my partner gets very attached to her animals so that's why I gave her 3 months to process things and a month to rehome him. I was very gentle but stern about this because it would be what's best for him and best for us. My partner agreed but asked if she could do the rehoming and to not talk about it until Sept. I obliged.
Sept, as you can see, has long come and went and now it's Jan of 2024. I've been asking my partner about once a month about the rehoming process and how it's going with mixed results. She made a pet profile on a rehoming site but when I read the description, she didn't really "sell" him well aka mentioned every possible bad thing about him and didn't mention any positives. It felt like she was sabotaging it but I let it be. She showed me a list of 40 no-kill shelters in Dec but she had only checked off 4 of them. She promised me he'd be rehomed by the end of 2023 and he's still here and we are no closer to doing it.
I don't want to wait till the week we move out to rehome him, the stress of the move and changing of the household will be too much stress on us and on Coral and Vector. I don't wanna wait for kitten season to swing back around and we'll never find a place for him. I know it's hard for her but she's breaking a promise for a cat she's admitted herself she's starting to hate. I know rehoming is a process but it's not moving and I feel like my say on his continued residency is being disregarded. I'm not trying to rush my partner but she's broken a promise, it's been 8 months since she could start preparing for this and 5 since she's "started the process" she's dragging her feet intentionally.
So, my idea is that I'll take over the process. I'll offer to help and find the places and get things in order so we can get one less stressor in our lives and Arthur can live in a home with the attention and patience he deserves. I wanna ask her if she wants my help but I don't want her to feel rushed to do it and get upset with me for doing what she promised she would.
I feel like she's waiting for me to just give up and give in and let him stay but she's not the one who has to deal with him all day every day and we don't make enough to find a bougie apartment to take in 3 cats. He'd need to be rehomed even if we got attached because we can't take them all. So, would I be the asshole for taking over the rehoming process for a cat me and my partner no longer like because my partner is intentionally dragging her feet on it or am I justified?
(to note, my partner brought up the possibility that Arthur has a mental illness/possibly be inbred due to the cat colony situation or that we could get him professional training. The issue is we live in a very rural area without a lot of money, 1. We would not be able to afford any mental illness controlling medicine for the long term when we can barely afford our own meds and 2. Classes to train animals are very expensive and the places that could train Arthur are at least a 3 hour drive away. Its not feasible for us, especially when I don't have a license/might not be able to drive on my own due to my disability. If he was properly sheltered, they could get him that help/training or his new owners could afford to but we can't. We can't put him in a kill shelter for moralistic reasons either.)
What are these acronyms?
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csuitebitches · 4 months
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By your prior response, it seems like you believe in 50/50. Generally speaking, not everyone is willing to be in a relationship where the man is providing 100% of the bills but I followed you because I thought that was your view. A feminine high value woman bring with a man who provides 100% of the bills. Not a girlfriend but a wife who depends on her husband however, she still has her own. Her husband gives her the option whether she wants to work or not, she lives a life of leisure and luxury. Has her own personal savings account etc. Idk I thought you had a different mindset when it came to finances in a relationship.
Firstly, I don’t keep my blog active for the follower count. I began CSB to keep a track of everything I’ve personally learned over the years. My content is also mostly about productivity and self growth. I very rarely discuss love and relationships on here and only if I ever feel like it. You may unfollow me if you feel that my content doesn’t resonate with you!
I don’t, in fact, believe in 50-50. My family allows me to believe the same as well. However, my background and birth circumstances are different. Even if a man decides to provide for me and I let him, I can leave at any point because my family would 100% step in and financially and legally support me at any time - not everyone has that privilege unfortunately. Most people’s lives and realities are not the same. I cannot advise my followers based on just my own background because that would be irresponsible of me.
I never said that a man should absolutely never provide for you. I said it’s difficult for most people to not have a dual income household in this economy. I’ve already mentioned that my partner himself doesn’t let me pick up the bill. I further said that you should be able to have enough money on you in case you need to leave for whatever reason and that the reality is, most of you guys are not going to find some billionaire lovesick man who’s going to hand you his Amex card on the third day of you guys meeting. And yes. You NEED to contribute to any relationship to make it work and finance isn’t the only way. Even if your man tells you to stay at home, you’re still going to be expected to contribute one way or the other. You cannot have it all.
There are enough crazy stories out there about financial abuse. There needs to be a certain amount of time + emotional intimacy + rationality involved in order for a man to provide for you. The reality is that today’s economy is not suited for everyone. Gone are the days where $100 could be stretched to every cent and you could live a decent life on it. If a man can give you the option to work, he can also switch up at any point and take back that option. Would you be ready for a switch like that? Would your past grades, work experience, etc still be relevant? What if you decide to leave him - are you in the position to?
You can do what you like in your personal life because it doesn’t concern me. But if you genuinely think that a man is going to happily and blindly start providing for you from the first date without any sort of expectation from you - I implore you to understand that real life and tumblr hypergamy don’t always intersect.
Half of your mindsets have been screwed by these so-called tumblr hypergamy blogs, with all honesty. It’s also partly bullshit and partly very culture dependent. Most eastern cultures are hypergamous BUT there is a strong family value system, there are strings attached, and a strong cultural influence, divorce is looked down upon, you’re expected to stay with your husband through all the bullshit, you’re expected to compromise at any point and a lot more for your husband; there are expectations from both the partners. I remember coming across a blog of a girl who was this “hypergamy queen” only for her to disclose she was in fact, broke, and start begging for tips from her tumblr followers. I don’t think half of you guys even understand the reality of being financially provided for.
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rustbeltjessie · 17 days
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To what purpose, April, do you return again? (or: finally, a pinned post for April)
Hi all. I'm Jessie Lynn McMains, aka Rust Belt Jessie. I'm an Xennial/Elder Millenial (please don't call me a Geriatric Millenial, thank you) writer/artist/zine-maker/etc. (I wear many hats.) I'm queer and nonbinary/genderfluid, and as far as pronouns go, I’m okay with any human pronoun (they and she are my most-used, but I like he, too, and I especially like it when people switch up the pronouns they use for me). I’m disabled and neurodivergent.
I live with my partner and our two kiddos, both of whom are also neurodivergent, and right now I’m supporting all of us on whatever money I earn. I do freelance copywriting and editing as my main thing, but I also make a decent chunk of my income from selling my zines and books and pins and whatever else I make, so the more I sell, the better able I am to pay bills and take care of my family.
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Through my Ko-fi, you can buy my zines and books (I have both poetry and prose available) and pins, as well as commission me to make you a music-inspired mini-collage or hire me to edit your own writing. Or also just throw me a few bucks if you appreciate the content I make available for free.
If you live outside the US (I can only ship within the US via Ko-fi, because setting up shipping for multiple countries is a pain the butt), or just prefer to purchase something or donate via a different platform, I also have PayPal and Venmo (@ JessieLynnMcMains).
I also have a Substack newsletter. I try to send something out at least once a month. Sometimes it's a longer piece about music and nostalgia (I recently started a series called These Fucking Songs, for just that purpose), sometimes it's just updates on what I'm up to, sometimes it's something else. I'm currently working on one about poetry, and my writing process, and revision.
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As if that weren't enough, this month I'm doing a 30/30 on the Tupelo Press site, which not only means I have to write a poem every day to be posted the next day, but I am also fundraising for Tupelo Press. My goal is to raise $350 by the end of the month. You can follow along with my daily poems here (the newest is always at the top; scroll down to read previous days), and the fundraising page is here. (I'm also offering some cool incentives for people who donate; more info about all that is available on the fundraising page.)
I'm pro-trans, pro-vaccine, pro-sex worker, pro-abortion, pro-Black Lives Matter. I'm for harm reduction for any drug user or addict, meaning I want them to be able to use drugs as safely as possible, rather than forcing them into rehab or incarcerating them. I'm anti-censorship and anti-fascist. I believe everyone, everyone, should have a safe place to sleep and enough to eat without having to earn it. I consider myself an anarcho-socialist, basically, but I do vote. I'm telling you all that because if you are vehemently against any of those things, we'll probably not get along.
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I'm a forever-goth/punk who loves all kinds of music. (Things on heavy rotation for me as I write this are: The Replacements, Einstürzende Neubauten, and Oliver Nelson.) I'm femme but I'm a disaster femme; when I use nailpolish it's always sloppy and/or chipped, when I wear eyeliner it's always crooked and/or smeared, and I am incapable of not ripping a hole or two in every pair of tights and stockings I own. I love art and film and theater and literature and music. I'm a Shakespeare stan, I love growing my own vegetables, I collect souvenir pennies and stick and poke tattoos. I'm always a slut in theory, even when not always in practice. I'm perpetually nostalgic, melancholy, and restless. I spend all my free time posting pictures of myself on the internet and trying to prove I'm punk to anyone that'll listen.
Want more Jessie content? There's my website (still under construction, but it exists). Or you could try searching the my writing, my art, Jessie Lynn McMains, or Rust Belt Jessie tags on this blog. I also have a side blog, where I tend to post more frequently than I do on this blog. If you ask nice, I'll probably give you the URL.
On that note, my DMs and asks are open, and, as of right now, anon is on.
I think that's it! As always, whether you can send any $$ my way (or to my fundraiser) currently or not, keeping this post circulating helps. Thanks much. 🖤
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cl34rb3ll · 4 months
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james somerton apology video is so interesting to me
-he said he didn’t mean for the misinfo to end up on the channel? like oops? i said a blatant lie! my bad idk how that happened
-thanking hbomber for setting up the fund for “those who were wronged” (james somerton, deleted apology video) i know this is nitpicky but his language keeps shifting the blame from himself. he won’t say “i didn’t credit them” or “i wronged them” like james. they didn’t just HAPPEN to have their work stolen. the universe didn’t intervene and force their work uncredited into your videos YOU stole from them YOU wronged them.
-“i’m not trying to make this a sob story” (james somerton, deleted apology video) then bringing up the bad things happening to him. like. i don’t feel bad that your friends left you for being a thief profiting off the work you stole from queer people. i also just. don’t care. like, i really do hope that he gets help for his mental health. i hope he gets better and he goes to a class on MLA or something. i really do not want him to die. but thats not what this is about. this is about the people he hurt, not the fact that the consequences of his own actions have impacted his mental health.
-refusing to give actual numbers to his income. just saying that people were over estimating. normally peoples income is none of my business but he was profiting off stolen work and is substantial evidence to lead people to believe he was lying about his financial situation to get money from fans.
-there were plenty [of videos] that didn’t have any uncredited stuff in them” (james somerton, deleted apology video) i’m starting to think james didn’t watch the video😨
-side note i don’t understand how this man could go to university and not understand proper citation???
-him saying that him hating women just isn’t true??? then why did he say all that shit??? like bro? you can just admit that you were misogynistic. you can say that. you can say “i was misogynistic, i said misogynistic things, i didn’t understand that i was wrong but i am trying to be better and re-evaluate my views” dude, i’m female (ftm tho, he/him only!) and i still have to occasionally catch myself when i think something misogynistic, despite literally being a victim of misogyny. just be better, don’t pretend you were never wrong. also him saying that he doesn’t think those things, that they were just writing videos too fast? misogyny doesn’t just End Up in your videos because you wrote too fast?? it has to come from somewhere?
-he says that he never wrote misinformation but he also says he isn’t trying to throw nick under the bus, that him and nick are 50/50 partners? which is it?
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cherry-pop-elf · 3 months
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Chubby George Weasley 🧡 Headcanons
Because Fuck You, I Wanna!
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The weight didn’t exactly start, until the shop had been open for a while. They were put into a position of a very stable income, and didn’t have to worry about food anymore. Along with breaking some habits, such as eating less so Ron and Gin could eat more
Was more so actually healthy weight, compared to being bean pole thin all the time. Still was over all slender, as they did a bunch of Manuel labor and hands on work, just didn’t look like they’ll pass out if you don’t keep their blood sugar high enough
After the war? Yeah, he had to fight depression somehow. Baking was what soothed him, and he was also needing to keep the shop steady for a while. Until Ron came to help, of course
You still couldn’t tell he gained some extra pounds, given his attire slime him greatly, but he’s got that soft chub. That sweet dad belly pillow that every kid gets in their childhood, that makes it the perfect spot for naps
It more so went into his stomach, thigh area. Due to beating a beater, he had a lot of muscle to work with. As we know, muscle is still excess. So when it’s relaxed, it’s all soft and squishy. So he has a rather evened out chubbibess, which is why it’s hard to notice when he’s in his work attire
He is so cuddly, and makes for the best napping partner. Always smelling sweet from the shop, with that good bear hug squeeze. Given there is still muscle under the squish after all
He’s rather self conscious of going soft, but this man deserves to not stress about it. He’s healthy, he survived a war, he built an empire, grew up poor where food was always scare to begin with, lost his ear which made him partially deaf, and lost his twin. He’s allowed to finally have some stress off his shoulders
The children definitely love that he’s not stuck thin anymore. They can just run up, to their favorite shop owner, and get the best hugs EVER. Big squishy hugs, and the comfort of his warm personality
Because he went back deeper into baking, from the stress of the second war, you know he’s somehow mastered being a master at baking. You know you can count on him for the best desserts and sweets you could ever dream of
He is shy about his belly, but the kids certainly help him with it. It’s a dad bod. He deserves it. Stretch marks and all. The kids love hugging him, and it’s nice to no longer have to be so stressed on his appearance. The community utterly adores him, and will protect him as much as he protects them
Anyone who says anything honestly might get attacked by his employees before he even says a word. He makes sure his employees are provided for. Dental even! Bet your ass he’s the community dad, of Diagon alley
Freckled. Belly. Need I say more? Freckles, scars, tattoos, and a sweet little happy trail
The best hugs, the best sweets, the warmest soul. What more could anyone want?
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Please tag me in any Chubby Georgie Art/Fanfics/Whatever pls!
((Yes this kinda stemmed from the fact it’s very hard to lose weight because of my health issues and I’m projecting, but also chubby Georgie hugs))
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thesiridahl · 1 year
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What do you miss about traditional porn production after the rise of Onlyfans???
There’s way more that I don’t miss. The widespread popularity & success of OnlyFans has democratized the adult industry in ways that I couldn’t have imagined 10 years ago. 
As a performer, having the ability to sell my content directly to my fans (with a 20% cut of the pre-tax total going to OF to run the site and process payments) has made a massive difference in my ability to make a life and a future for myself in the adult industry. 
In some ways, the industry has been turned on its head. In 2013, things were relatively top-down: I’d wait for the phone to ring, or a text from a director who wanted to hire me for a scene. The rates I could reasonably charge for my work were lower. I didn’t have a talent agent, but if I did, it would've been the same, except the agent would have arranged those bookings and taken a 10-25% cut of my scene rate. 
Scene rates were lower for performers 10 years ago. A high-end average would be $600-800 for a girl/girl (non-penetrative sex scene, if you don’t count fingers or dildos 😉) and $800-1000 for a boy/girl (penetrative sex) scene. All of that income is pre-tax, since models in our industry are almost exclusively paid as 1099 contractors. (If you’re unfamiliar, that means Federal, State, and local taxes are not collected when we’re paid out by the companies we contract with, so we have to keep accurate records of our income throughout the year and then pay a huge chunk of money in taxes at the end of the year. Or quarterly, if you’re fancy.)
Scene rates never changed much with inflation. Rates were determined by what studios were willing to pay performers, not by what performers wanted to actually be paid. The only way to increase your rate was to just become more famous. But after OF came along and models started seeing their true worth — how much more they can make selling their own content directly — it started to change the industry in some very big, positive ways. 
For example: If a model with a relatively large following on OF films a sex scene that costs $1000 to produce (wardrobe, makeup, hiring a photographer/videographer, editing), sells it for $15 and 400 fans buy it on OF within the first month it’s released, after OF takes their cut of 20%, she just netted $4000 on that scene before taxes. And she owns the content and can continue selling it basically forever. $4000 is a scene rate that no studio would pay a performer for a sex scene, unless it’s something kinda nuts, like an 8-guy gang bang with double anal. 
If you wanted to net $16k of pre-tax income per month, what would you rather do? Film a double anal gang bang every week, and have to do that every month for reliable income — or film four regular ass sex scenes (regular-ass sex, not regular ass-sex, although I do highly recommend both) with your real-life partner every month, that you can resell infinitely, while in the comfort of your home, living in a city that's way more affordable than Los Angeles?
These days, I know of performers who've never worked on a studio set, but took years building a loyal audience on OnlyFans and similar sites, and when they’re approached by a studio like Brazzers to shoot a boy/girl scene, they can truthfully declare that it’s not worth their time to even set foot on a studio set for less than a $4000 scene rate. Yes, this is an extreme example and not at all indicative of what the average model earns on OnlyFans, but it’s an important example to illustrate the impact of sites like OF on the power structures of the industry. Models being less dependent on studio work is very good for us, the models.
Since I came out of retirement in 2020 and started depending on my own content sales to make a living, I’ve raised my rates for studio performances, as most of us have. That’s the biggest positive change for me, personally — not having to depend on studio work anymore. When you see my face in an AdultTime or Brazzers scene, it’s because I have happily chosen to work with that company, I’m being paid the rate I asked for, and I’m thrilled to grow my fan base by appearing on a studio site with a wider reach than my own.
That’s how a lot of us treat studio work these days: It’s not a primary source of income. It’s a way for us to advertise our own brand as creators, and hopefully gain some new fans who are interested in subscribing on OF and supporting us directly. 
To get to your actual question, yes, there are downsides. While OF and similar sites have democratized (one might even say… SOCIALIZED! ☭ ) the industry, it’s also caused a certain degree of decentralization, and that’s not always great. 
One component of the adult industry in particular (specifically the American, mostly LA-and-Las-Vegas-based industry, because to be honest IDK what the heck goes on in other countries) requires at least some centralization to function properly.
I'm referring to our STI testing protocol: Industry testing clinics report to a common database called PASS, operated by our industry’s nonprofit trade association, the Free Speech Coalition (FSC). The database obscures personal details like legal names, but shows a cleared-to-work or not-cleared-to-work status, verifying that the performer has a valid test which is less than 14 days old and shows a negative result for all STIs. 
These testing clinics aren’t just any old Quest Diagnostics location — they’re operated by private companies which exclusively service the adult industry, and use the most sensitive tests possible for early and accurate detection of STIs. 
The database also functions as a contact-tracing system. In the event that a performer tests positive for something, the database is an indispensable tool for notifying other performers who were exposed, isolating the incident, and halting production within that group of exposed performers until they can all be treated (for those STIs for which an effective treatment exists) and retest with a negative result. 
In fact, our database is so effective that early in the COVID-19 pandemic, it was held up as an example of an effective contact-tracing system. It’s the reason our industry was better prepared than most to handle our response to the pandemic — we already had a functional, reliable testing system in place. 
But the testing system is only effective if all of our industry’s performers respect and participate in it. And of course, you don’t need to live Los Angeles or Las Vegas to be making your own porn and selling it on OnlyFans. During the pandemic, we all saw the news articles about the explosion of new users on OF, many of them content creators. 
It’s one thing if you’re a monogamous couple only fucking each other on camera for your OF content, but it’s entirely different if you’re a model who’s never worked in studio porn or even heard of the PASS database, you live 2000 miles from LA, and you’re producing dozens of scenes a month with different sex partners. Then we have a problem. We don’t know how that model is getting tested, or if they are at all, or who they worked with — so if the model or any of their scene partners tests positive, there’s no record of the positive result and no contact tracing. And if they work with another person who travels to LA, and spreads the STI into the performer pool there, now they’ve put the health and livelihoods of hundreds of other porn performers at risk.
I’ve heard enough stories from my peers to know that this does happen. I have seen Twitter rants from amateur OF creators who don’t value the testing protocol and complain that getting tested every 14 days is too expensive. (Currently, the cost of a full performer panel is close to $600/month, if you test every 14 days. We would all love to see more affordable performer panels, and it’s very much an active discussion in the industry. PASS also offers a testing subsidy for performers, funded by many corporate and individual donors, which helps buffer the cost of testing). They’ll say things like “It’s fine, I’m only shooting with my close friends, and we trust each other.”
They're sorely mistaken. Following the testing protocol is not a burden, it's a non-negotiable requirement for being a performer in this industry. Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis don’t give a shit who you "trust," and neither do the folks who want to shut down our entire industry and make us and our jobs nonexistent.
The adult industry is notoriously insular and defensive for good reason. We’re heavily stigmatized and often it feels like we’re hanging onto our legality and legitimacy by a thread, because we are.
Compared to 10 years ago, there are many more vocal opponents of the porn industry now, and a lot of those critics and antis have way, way more money and power and influence than any single person or corporation in the adult industry. So yeah, the last thing we need is some content-creating doofus in Tightsqueeze, Virginia (yes that's a real place look it up*) coming along to compromise the testing system our industry has relied on for 20+ years, and making us all look bad.
It’s Missouri Senator Josh Hawley’s reactionary Christian wet dream to be able to point a finger at a site like OnlyFans and say, “Look at all these young people indiscriminately profiting from their homemade porn, and look at how many of them got an STI from their immoral behavior! They’re spreading disease, and the entire porn industry needs to be made illegal!”
Josh Hawley has never said those exact words, but he could, and he would be more correct than his actual argument against the porn industry, which is that we’re all child groomers. (Do I need to say here that we’re obviously not? My own fans don’t expect me to actually acknowledge that ridiculous argument, right?)
In a perfect world, every content creator who has sex on camera would be working with a valid 14-day test from a clinic that reports to the PASS database. But it’s unrealistic to expect perfect awareness and participation from every single spicy content creator, and if that did suddenly happen overnight, the testing clinics would be flooded with thousands more patients than they’re prepared to handle. 
But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t all try to do better. Personally, I think our industry needs to be a little less insular, and more willing to accommodate and educate newcomers about how we keep ourselves safe and legal ‘round here. And we definitely need a wider network of testing clinics, so that people who don't live in LA or Vegas have an easier time participating in the testing protocol.
From an anti-porn outsider’s point of view, the OF model who lives in Bumfuck, Ohio is just as much a part of the porn industry as Riley Reid or Angela White. We’re all just evil, diseased, child-grooming sinners to them. OnlyFans has done a great deal to help democratize the industry, but I think we still need a little more socialism, in the form of workers helping workers, educating each other and standing together to defend our ability to make a living safely and legally.
*Footnote: I don't actually know if there are any OF content creators in Tightsqueeze, VA. I just googled and picked a funny town name. But if a content creator who literally lives there reads this, and you want to get tested and shoot content with me, holler at ya girl, I'm only an 8 hour drive away.
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