#i just want to be a good and responsible student like alyssa so bad and i dont know how to get there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xanderwithanx · 3 years

Text

Chloe does night-time diary posts on HER tumblr, so I'm going to start doing them here, sometimes. It would be nice if you read it, but, please, don't feel obligated! This is more for me to write.

(I got tired of my normal journal, I guess. It's full of bad poetry anyway. Besides, where's the thrill of losing anonymity in a physical notebook?)

I've basically been asleep and depressed for several days, because I had withdrawal after not being able to get my adhd meds. But, I got it today, and DID THINGS. (This is SO much better than before!)

Today, I went to a small café or restaurant (focused on tea) called Alice's Teacup that was Alice in Wonderland themed! My long-standing obsession with Alice in Wonderland knows no bounds. It was a really cute place. I got pumpkin pancakes, and some really good iced tea. Like... REALLY good iced tea.

Still, it seemed like the entire place was geared towards having a pot of tea and snacks with your friends, which left me a bit lonely. The person I asked couldn't come, and by the time I heard back, I was more than halfway there. Still, I read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and watched Monty Python on my phone, so I still had a good time!

I dressed pretty eccentricly and effeminately all day, but, with my facial hair, I was ALWAYS coded as a man, even by people on the street! Pastels, a stupid hat, a crop top, and facial hair was a winning combination.

On my way, I was stopped by some guys soliciting for charity. I don't make a habit of stopping for strangers on the streets of Manhattan. What if it's a scam? What if I'm being pressured to buy something? What if it's a strange political rant? But, I had already taken my earbuds off, I wasn't in a hurry, and I'm terminally polite. The first guy said he liked my energy, which seemed to come from a genuine place, because I liked his too!

They were asking for donations for a breast cancer charity, the United Breast Cancer Foundation. After a discussion, it seems like the charity helps pay medical debt, medical bills, and other practical needs, which is much better than *some* others I could name. I regretted not being able to give their minimum there, as it was pretty high, but told them I'd give what I could when I got on the website.

I... did not. Money is tight, because I'm bad and irresponsible with money, even though this is more than a worthy cause. I didn't NEED to go to that tea place, and I don't NEED to spend so much money on food. Sure, I can justify it: I wanted to go to that place for so long, and it was near the college anyway! But, if I was responsible with money, you KNOW my friends direct fundraising drives would go first, worthy charities second. Still, I feel bad about it.

Then, I went to the college library, to get books to start my thesis research. I have literally been unable to go to the college itself, aside from getting my ID, so this was great! There just wasn't a reason. It was... very empty. I went to the library stacks, which was deathly quiet and deeply haunted by the old books. I half expected something to pop out at me, as I turned the stacks, but I wasn't even paranoid or anxious. It was like I was in something else's house. I was welcome, but on thin ice.

I picked up an irrelevant psychology book on the "schizophrenia problem" from the 1930s, out of morbid fascination, and quickly put it down when it threatened to shatter in my hands.

Some students walked past (which was a suprise in those monastic basement library stacks), and I added something to their conversation, in a totally natural and casual way. But, omg the poor girls, I made them jump! Luckily, I'm the least threatening person on earth, and we laughed it off.

After a lot of hunting, I got 5 out of my 10 books (for the most part)! (The rest are, sadly, online. I like to read physical copies.) Strangely, I only came in with a list to get 3 books out of 6.

Most of the books I got are about art in the AIDS crisis, which is the core of my thesis, I think, all with different value. One about exhibitions, one about the larger narrative of those gay artists, and another contradicting the larger narrative.

I also got a book about "Art and Homosexuality". Just, the parallel construction of both "art" and "homosexuality" across cultures and times, from earliest history to the modern age. It wasn't on my initial list, but I'm really excited to read it.

Finally, I got a book called "The Thief, the Cross and the Wheel", about the pain and spectacle of punishment in Medieval and Renaissance European art. I'm mainly interested in Italian Renaissance art of the crucifixion--and its masochism--for the second quarter of my thesis.

The rest are online, and Should mostly focus on Bacchus in the Italian Renaissance (especially through art) and what I call the art of "gay liberation", concurrent with the AIDS crisis (i.e. The Cockettes). These two topics make up the last half of my thesis.

I'm SO excited to get started!!

I even got to cross the college's sky-bridges! (The college is a few skyscrapers.) Still, the loneliness and novelty were kind of the same thought. Imagine if I had been here before COVID, or, if COVID hadn't happened. Who would I have been able to meet? What would the college buildings mean to me? Because, for now, they're just buildings. But, I got to see the street from above, and that was amazing!

Just walking through New York--the Upper East Side--on a cool, sunny day was beautiful. It takes 20-30 minutes to get from my place to the college (and the tea place), but it was great being able to listen to my music (a lot of They Might Be Giants on the playlist today) and see the city. You know, people, super cool old architecture being pushed out by terrible new architecture, and pigeons.

Oh my god, the pigeons. I took pictures, but none of them are good. I kept thinking about how pigeons and doves are functionally the same. We domesticated pigeons, which is why they're here, and no one is stopping to notice them? Even the ones that were splotched with pure white, like doves? There's only so many pigeons you can take until they're just white noise and a nuisance, I know, so don't think I'm blaming anyone! But it's so hard to look away from these quirky little birds.

Also, at one point my walk, I was vaping very strategicly. The mental task of searching through library stacks will do that to you, when you already have an addiction to nicotine. I made sure no one was around, and no one would be affected. I stopped on a corner next to an old, ornate Catholic church while the traffic light changed, and I almost juuled right next to a priest! I'm glad I stopped. I don't believe in Hell, but, I would have walked down there myself had I vaped at a priest. Still, the church advertised itself as LGBT+ friendly, so maybe they aren't so trigger happy on the damnation. Either way, I DIDN'T vape at a priest today, which is good.

Once I got back, I spent a few hours watching things with my amazing girlfriend Chloe, who you may know here as @cisphobiccommunistopinions. She is so beautiful, and I love her more every day, every time I see her. God, it's almost been 5 years!

I just wish I could spend more time with her. She's in Virginia, and I'm in New York. Like she said to me earlier, I'm flighty at the best of times, and, with my lack of object permanence for the digital world, I find myself not giving her the attention I deserve, or, the full connection I long to have with her. We used to live together. Luckily, someday we will live together again! All these problems won't be forever, and we can live together again.

We watched a lot of things, but we're pretty deep into Serial Experiments Lain right now. It's a postmodern anime from the 90s, and, wow, do I have no idea what's going on in it. It's about the internet, and potentially schizophrenia as well. However, I'm obsessed! One day I'll be able to crack this artistic code, and it's unreality, thematic knots, and double-meanings. I will probably understand it better on the second watch. I don't see myself in Lain, but I see my 14 year old self in her, when I had just developed schizophrenia. Her cyberpunk fate seems like it's railroaded towards tragedy, but I want to save her, even if it's silly and irrational.

I told Chloe that I was scared about spilling apple cider on my library books, and she referred to it as "The Great Apple Juice Disaster of September 11, 2021." To which I said that it was the second worst thing to happen in New York on that date. It was funnier if you were there, and also were in my brain at the time.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting some online acquaintances from the college's "Queer Srudent Union" at a Japanese Culture Fair in a park. (I do not know which park.) It emphasizes "fun"! I don't know them very well, but they're friends with the one person I know irl, so it should be good.

Tomorrow night, I should Probably head downtown to check out a gallery show by MFA (masters of fine arts) students at Hunter! After all, I was in a group project with one of them, and they're absolutely brilliant. I missed the Thursday gallery opening by a landslide, because of the aforementioned lack of adhd meds and Being Asleep, which I infinitely regret. I could have listened to all the artists and curators talk about their art and exhibition! Maybe I could have even talked with the artists and curators. But, it's best for me to go sooner, rather than later, so I don't forget. And, I REALLY want to go.

It's "This dialogue which happened to be present in all other dialogues" at the Alyssa Davis Gallery. From the email I got, "Each of these works observes a threshold of transition. [...] [These] intimations [are] of a frame of mind shared by the artists. These works perform, record, access, engage, document, and entrap, embalming the viewer within the gallery space."

sgp is a really good artist, by the way. Their work is just next-level. Be sure to check out their art, if you have a chance. Let me link their portfolio: https://saragracepowell.com/

(I highly suspect spg and the other member of my group project ghosted me afterwards, but I understand. I was really in over my head. Still, they're both really sweet and kind people, don't get it twisted!)

I ALSO really want to see The Cake Boys. They're performing at the 3 Dollar Bill in Brooklyn on September 26th. (It's only $15!) They're the only all drag king collective in NYC! (Are... there any Other all drag king collectives out there?) Other than the fact that a lot of them are trans or nonbinary, which I love, this show is a totally non-judgmental competition for over 40 drag kings! I've heard their shows are hilarious and unique.

I just have to wait until I have $15 to spare. I... didn't eat dinner tonight, because I'm irresponsible with my money and don't want to ask my parents for money... again. Don't worry, it's literally fine, and I don't make a habit of doing this!

Which reminds me! For my birthday, my parents gave me a gift card to Lush! I'm definitely going to Lush tomorrow, which will be great. I would describe my personality as "Lush store employee acosting you about a bath bomb demonstration", so I'll fit right in.

I also made a transition timeline, to show how much I've changed on testosterone. For the better, I hope! I really believe I'm becoming, if not Have Become, the man I was always meant to be. It's so strange to look back at who I was not too long ago, and to know the absolute pain I was in. It's also strange, in a good way, to see the man looking back at me in the selfies. I'm so much happier now! Much more candid in my pictures, at least. But, I know that I'm so much more comfortable as myself than I was even 6 months ago. It's strange. Sometimes I think to myself, "I don't pass yet; I'm not who I Need To Be yet." Then, I look at my selfie from today, and... I'm THERE. My mind just hasn't caught up with my amazing, natural, normal reality.

The end. I have to get ready for bed, (even though I could be partying on a Saturday night in the city. I'm lame.) If you actually read this, I am kissing you on the mouth right now. I hope it made you calm down tonight, like a terrible bedtime story. If you didn't read it and just skipped to the end, don't worry: you did the rational thing.

#long post #diary entry

2 notes · View notes

salvatoreschool · 3 years

Text

'Legacies' EP on Redemption in the 'TVD' Universe and 'Severe Obstacles' for Hope & Landon

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for the Season 3 premiere of Legacies, “We’re Not Worthy.”]

There’s good news and bad news in the Legacies Season 3 premiere on January 21: Hope (Danielle Rose Russell) and Landon (Aria Shahghasemi) are both awake, but Josie (Kaylee Bryant) is leaving for a bit. In an attempt to deal with the aftermath of her dark magic binge, Josie is heading to see her mother.

Also, Alyssa (Olivia Liang) finds herself faced with a new role just as she’s leaving the school: the Necromancer’s (Ben Geurens) acolyte. Uh-oh.

TV Insider chatted with executive producer Brett Matthews to find out what’s next.

How will Josie be different when she returns from visiting her mother?

Brett Matthews: Josie, in the early part of Season 3, will make a choice that really does affect the status quo of the Salvatore School and her life and we will get to see that play out.

How is Hope and Landon’s relationship this season compared to others? Their troubles aren’t over just because both are awake now.

It’s very, very true. They will continue to try to define their dynamic. As Hope goes, so goes the show. Hope is the foundation Legacies is built on and her relationship with Landon is very central to her journey. They will face some of their most severe obstacles yet and have to band together in the face of some really formidable enemies and make peace with the risks they are willing to take as a couple and their need and responsibility to face down the darkness that is Malivore and its monsters.

It’s a slippery slope, as always, that they continue to try and navigate. They get on the same page, but in that process, you will also see them grow closer than they ever have been before.

Alyssa clearly doesn’t have a choice when it comes to being the Necromancer’s eternal acolyte. Can she be redeemed?

I think so. We’ll learn more about Alyssa and her very specific origin and how that turns and twists. The question will be, is she stuck with the Necromancer or is the Necromancer stuck with her? Their dynamic may not be exactly what you anticipate it is. She is going to leave Episode 1 of the new season with a very serious axe to grind, and as we all know, Alyssa Chang is not a person you want as your enemy. If the history of all these shows have you taught you anything, everybody’s redeemable. If Josie’s redeemable, Alyssa’s redeemable.

People rooted for Klaus (Joseph Morgan) on The Originals after The Vampire Diaries.

That’s what I’m saying! They made a whole show with him as the protagonist. He was the worst villain of all time. Damon’s [Ian Somerhalder] journey to being somebody you root and cared for. Redemption lies at the very heart of The Vampire Diaries universe, as different as these shows may be a little bit tonally.

The logline for Episode 302 teases “devastating news involving one of their own” for the Super Squad.

The logline does a pretty good job of teasing the type of episode it is. We try to do an episode or two a year that really harkens to our Vampire Diaries roots, not necessarily through characters or mythology, but the style and tone of the other shows, [which] made you cry more than we probably do. It is a visitation to those roots stylistically and the smaller, more emotional stories, filtered into the Legacies universe and how we deal with things like that that in The Vampire Diaries, you might not even bat an eye at, but some of those moves and turns just feel a little different in Legacies. It’s one of those classic throwback episodes and a big one for us.

And Alaric (Matthew Davis) is “getting some timely affairs in order.” What’s he up to? I kept thinking about him dying in the original series.

[Laughs] There’s really no way to tease what Ric is doing without getting too much into the plot. Ric is tied to the central dilemma of the episode and is doing everything he can to resolve it. It’s just not necessarily the usual type of victory he’s tasked with winning. It is a different journey. But he is doing what Alaric Saltzman generally does in Legacies, which is trying to help the kids in any way he can and also as always, fearful they may run into problems he can’t solve.

Alaric wanted the students to be kids, which, of course, didn’t last long. Will we continue to see an attempt to balance the supernatural with normal teenage lives?

That’s always at the heart of Legacies, but Ric is beginning to see them not just as kids or students but as equals or as special because of their gifts. He will only view them more as worthy of hearing their opinions. It becomes more of a collaboration between them than it has been in seasons past.

Legacies, Thursdays, 9/8c, The CW .

7 notes · View notes

secondbutthole · 3 years

Text

Another Light | Settle for Less

Katherine was bitter. There, she admitted it.

She hated herself for it too. All things considered; things were going great. She was in a successful musical about their lives, she was surprisingly close to the other queens, things were going incredibly well for her. Except for the stupid nightmares that seemed to plague her every night.

Hands grasping and groping; the voices of men saying her name in different and eerie tones, a horrific reminder of her past. And then the axe swinging down to her neck. Katherine was exhausted, hated waking up every night to silent tears or to the concerned stares of the other queens when she would scream. It was humiliating because everyone else seemed to be coping so well. Why couldn’t she?

Okay, backtrack, Anne wasn’t quite coping as well as the other queens admittedly. Though she never screamed at night, she was also plagued by nightmares but the difference between the cousins was that Anne actually was able to talk about it. Katherine wasn’t strong enough to do that. Or, rather, she didn’t want to burden the other queens by talking about her past trauma. She’d been watching a lot of TV lately, as well as a lot of documentaries about the ‘Six Wives of Henry The Eighth’ and, well, it just filled her up with shame. Like her struggles either didn’t count and matter because she wanted it (which she did, right?) or it was too taboo to talk about.

Katherine was struggling. She was exhausted. She was worthless. She didn’t even deserve to be brought back with the others, but if she had said that out loud then the queens would admit that she didn’t deserve the entire debacle that went on in her life. So, either way, these were thoughts she had to struggle with on her own.

When she went downstairs, Anne was the first person she saw. Turns out everyone had went out to the city centre for the day and because Katherine had slept late and Anne wanted to catch up on Rupaul’s Drag Race, they had left without any thought like ‘hey, maybe we’ll wait for Kitty and make sure she’s okay!’

“You okay, Kitty?” Anne had asked with a small smile which was so unlike her. The fact that Katheirne had a bad night must have been obvious on her face, and so the younger queen had to quickly throw on a smile- faked as it may have ended up being.

“Of course I am!” She was an actor, Anne should have been so easy to convince. Anne mustn’t have twigged on that something really was wrong, much to her absolute relief.

“You wanna watch season 5 then? I reckon Alyssa Edwards is gonna win,” She chattered, already turning on Netflix and not waiting for an answer. Katherine would have said yes anyway, but she was just… so tired.

“I didn’t even answer, Anne.”

“Huh?” Anne turned towards her with a raised brow, a small head tilt to the side. “What do you mean? We… We usually watch it, so I thought…?”

Katherine usually sorted her head into boxes. Her trauma box, her nightmare box, depression and anxiety- all the things thought unsavoury tucked away neatly in a small shelf in the corner of her brain. She liked that arrangement, it meant she could present the best parts of herself and be the good student Mannox wanted—the good secretary Dereham wanted—the good queen Henry wanted—the good friend Thomas—

The boxes got too heavy on one side of the shelf and they all tumbled over. They crashed on the floor in a deafening roar and as for Katherine? Well, she couldn’t help herself.

“Of course you thought! No one thinks about me, Anne!” Katherine’s fists clenched, small crescent moons pressed into the flesh of her palms. Her nostrils flared, mind overwhelmed because a meltdown was not exactly marked in on the calendar or written in her to do list, yet here she was.

“What? Kitty, what are you talking about, of course we do! We worry about you all the time!” Anne had tried to reason, she loved her cousin to the moon and back, but she couldn’t help but be on the defensive. She couldn’t understand what had gotten into the youngest queen, and all this for what- a show that they watched on Netflix?

She knew she was being irrational. “I don’t need your fucking worry!” She knew she wasn’t quite in control and it terrified her. “You know what, Anne? Fuck you.” She didn’t want to cry in front of her, and even though the fight wasn’t as big as it could have been, she stalked to the door and squeezed into her trainers.

“Where are you going, Kit?” If there wasn’t any condescension laced in her words, it didn’t matter to the brunette who found it and whipped around to face the panic-stricken face of her predecessor

“Out.” She spat out. “Away from you, you… Y-you…” Katherine’s face crumpled at the stammer, her mind seemingly blanking from coming up with a good retort before, finally—

“I hate that it was a fucking sword!”

And she was gone, leaving Anne completely heartbroken and bewildered. The fact she even alluded to her execution was a low blow and Katherine, who was powerwalking down the street to God knows where with tears staining her cheeks, knew that. She just needed Anne to feel the hurt that she was. To ensure that she wasn’t the only one that was suffering and struggling to cope.

It wasn’t until dark fell down on London that Katherine Howard came home. All the queens were crowded around Anne, placing a placating hand on her shoulder and as soon as they heard the door, they stared at her and Katherine could only stare back, unsure and terrified.

“Katherine Howard,” Came Jane’s gentle voice, stern but still cautious. “Why would you say something like that to Anne? She just wanted to spend time with you.”

Katherine only sniffed in response, her eyes watering slightly when Anne looked up with her red-rimmed eyes and her lip wobbling in an attempt not to cry again. She was an absolute monster. Disgusting.

“Howard,” Came Catalina’s approach, not at all gentle like Jane’s and more authoritative as the head of the household. She watched carefully as she flinched, swallowing and stepping a little bit closer to the seemingly unstable queen. “Please. Just apologise to her and talk to us. Where did you go? We were worried sick.”

And that was when she ran upstairs. Catalina looked at the other queens with a forlorn expression, her mouth dry as she sat uselessly on the chair beside her. The door slammed and the queens were left in an uncomfortable silence with no way to know how to proceed.

#Yazi writes a shitty thing #six the musical #also crossposted to ao3

8 notes · View notes

maddie-grove · 4 years

Text

The Top Twenty Books I Read in 2019

My main takeaways from the past year’s reading:

Sometimes you think something is happening because of magic, but then it turns out to have a non-magical explanation so weird that you find yourself saying, “You know what? I wish faeries or God were responsible for this. I’d honestly feel less disturbed.”

Stop bathing and changing your clothes and shaving for three years, three months, and three days. You’ll find out who your real friends are. I promise you that.

I want more books about bisexual ladies!!! Give them to me!!!

Anyway...

20. The Prodigal Duke by Theresa Romain (2017)

Childhood sweethearts Poppy Hayworth and Leo Billingsley were separated when his older brother, a duke, sent him away to make his fortune. Years later, the duke is dead, a financially successful Leo has come back to England to take his place, and Poppy has become a rope dancer at Vauxhall Gardens after a life-shattering event. New sparks are flying between them, but is love possible when so much else has changed? Leo and Poppy are believable and charming as old friends, Romain makes great use of obscure historical details from the oft-depicted Regency period, and I loved Leo’s difficult but caring elderly uncle.

19. Simple Jess by Pamela Morsi (1996)

Althea Winsloe, a young widow in 1900s Arkansas, has no interest in remarrying, but almost everyone in her small Ozarks community is pressuring her to remarry, and she still needs someone to help farm her land. Enter Jesse Best, a strong young man with cognitive disabilities who’s happy to take on the work. As he makes improvements to her farm and bonds with her three-year-old son, Althea gets to know him better and starts to see him in a new light. This earthy romance could’ve been a disaster, but instead it illustrates how people with disabilities are often...uh...simplified and de-sexualized in a way that denies them autonomy. Morsi has a similarly nuanced take on Althea and Jesse’s community, which is claustrophobic and supportive all at once.

18. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (2018)

Outspoken and insecure, bisexual high school senior Leah Burke is having a tough year. Her friend group is in turmoil, her single mom is seriously dating someone, and she’s caught between a sweet boy she’s not sure about and a pretty, perfect straight girl who couldn’t possibly be into her...right??? The sequel to the very cute Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, Leah on the Offbeat pulls a The Godfather: Part II with its messy protagonist, sweetly surprising romance, and masterful comic set piece involving the Atlanta American Girl Doll restaurant.

17. Copper Sun by Sharon M. Draper (2006)

Kidnapped from her home in eighteenth-century Ghana, fifteen-year-old Amari is sold into slavery and winds up on a South Carolina plantation, where she faces terrible cruelty but finds friends in an enslaved cook, her little son, and eventually a sulky white indentured servant around her age. When their master escalates his already-atrocious behavior, the three young people flee south to the Spanish Fort Mose in search of freedom. Draper’s complicated characters, vivid descriptions, and deft handling of heavy subjects makes for top-notch historical YA fiction.

16. A Prince on Paper by Alyssa Cole (2019)

After her controlling politician father was jailed for poisoning a bunch of people in their small, prosperous African country, Nya Jerami gained unprecedented freedom but also became the subject of vicious gossip. Johan von Braustein, the hard-partying stepson of a European monarch, wants to help her, partly because he sympathizes and partly because he has a crush, but she thinks he’s too frivolous and horny (if wildly attractive). After an embarrassing misunderstanding compels them to enter a fake engagement, though, she begins to wonder if there’s more to him. I’m not a huge fan of contemporary romance, but this novel has the perfect combination of heartfelt emotion, delicious melodrama, and adorable fluff.

15. One Perfect Rose by Mary Jo Putney (1997)

Stephen, the Duke of Ashburton, has always done the proper and responsible thing, but that all changes when he learns that he’s terminally ill. Wandering the countryside in the guise of an ordinary gentleman, he ends up joining an acting troupe and falling in love with Rosalind, the sensible adopted daughter of the two lead actors. Like another Regency romance on this list, this novel celebrates love in many forms: there’s the love story between Stephen and Rosalind, yes, but there’s also Rosalind’s loving relationship with her adopted family, the new bonds she forms with her long-lost blood relatives, the way her two families embrace the increasingly frightened Stephen, and the healing rifts between Stephen and his well-meaning but distant siblings. Stephen’s reconciliation with his mortality is also moving.

14. My One and Only Duke by Grace Burrowes (2018)

Facing a death sentence in Newgate, footman-turned-prosperous banker Quinton Wentworth decides to do one last good thing: marry Jane McGowan, a poor pregnant widow, so she and the baby will be financially set. Then he receives a pardon and a dukedom at the literal last minute, meaning that he and Jane have a more permanent arrangement than either intended. I fell in love with the kind-but-difficult protagonists almost at once, and with Burrowes’s gorgeous prose even faster.

13. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell (2013)

It’s 1986, and comics-loving, post-punk-listening, half-Korean Park and bright, weird, constantly bullied Eleanor are just trying to get through high school in their rough Omaha neighborhood. He’s only grudgingly willing to let her share his bus seat at first, but this barely civil acquaintance slowly thaws into friendship and blossoms into love. Far from being the whimsical eighties-nostalgia-fest I expected, this is a bittersweet love story about two isolated young people who find love, belonging, and a chance for self-expression with each other in an often-hostile environment (a small miracle pre-Internet).

12. Shrill by Lindy West (2016)

In this memoir, Lindy West talks about the difficulties of being a fat woman, the thankless task of being vocally less-than-enthused about rape jokes, the joys of moving past self-doubt, and the very real possibility that Little John from Disney’s Robin Hood was played by “bear actor” Baloo, among other subjects. I was having a hard time during my last semester of law school this past spring, and this book’s giddy humor and inspiring messages really helped me in my hour of need.

11. Seduction: Sex, Lies, and Stardom in Howard Hughes's Hollywood by Karina Longworth (2018)

In 1925, very young businessman Howard Hughes breezed into Hollywood with nothing but tons of family wealth, a soon-to-be-divorced wife, and a simple dream: make movies about fast planes and big bosoms. He got increasingly weird and reactionary over the next thirty years, then retired from public life. More a history of 1920s-1950s Hollywood than a biography, this book has the same sharp writing and in-depth film analysis that makes me love Longworth’s podcast You Must Remember This.

10. The Beguiled by Thomas Cullinan (1966)

In Civil-War-era Virginia, iron-willed Martha Farnsworth and her nervous younger sister try to run their nearly empty girls’ boarding school within earshot of a battlefield. When one girl finds Union soldier John McBurney injured in the woods, she brings him back to the house, where he exploits every conflict and secret among the eight girls and women (five students, two sisters, and one enslaved cook). Charming and manipulative, he nevertheless finds himself in over his head. Cullinan makes great use of the eight POVs and the deliciously claustrophobic setting; it’s fascinating to watch the power dynamics and allegiances shift from scene to scene.

9. A Gentleman Never Keeps Score by Cat Sebastian (2018)

Reserved tavern keeper Sam Fox wants to help out his brother’s sweetheart by finding and destroying a nude portrait she once sat for; disgraced gentleman Hartley Sedgwick isn’t sure what he wants after having his life ruined twice over, but he happened to inherit his house from the man who commissioned the painting...plus he’s not exactly reluctant to assist kind, handsome Sam in his quest. I wrote about this heart-melting romance two times last year; suffice it to say that it’s not only one of the best Regencies I’ve ever read, but also possibly the best romance I’ve ever read about the creation of a found family.

8. Frog Music by Emma Donoghue (2014)

Blanche Beunon, a French-born burlesque dancer in 1876 San Francisco, has a lot going on: her mooching boyfriend has turned on her, her sick baby is missing, and her cross-dressing, frog-hunting friend Jenny Bonnet was just shot dead right next to her. In the middle of a heat wave, a smallpox epidemic, and a little bit of mob violence, she must locate her son and solve Jenny’s murder. This is a glorious work of historical fiction; you can see, hear, smell, and feel the chaotic world of 1870s San Francisco, plus Blanche’s character arc is amazing.

7. The Patrick Melrose novels (Never Mind, Bad News, Some Hope, Mother’s Milk, and At Last) by Edward St. Aubyn (1992, 1992, 1994, 2005, and 2012, respectively)

Born to an embittered English aristocrat and an idealistic American heiress, Patrick Melrose lives through his father’s sadistic abuse and his mother’s willful blindness (Never Mind), does a truly staggering amount of drugs in early adulthood (Bad News), and makes a good-faith effort at leading a normal life (Some Hope). Years later, the life he’s built with his wife and two sons is threatened by his alcoholism and reemerging resentment of his mother (Mother’s Milk), but there may be a chance to salvage something (At Last). Despite the suffering and cruelty on display, these novels were the farthest thing from a dismaying experience, thanks to the sharp characterization, grim humor, and great sense of setting. Also, I love little Robert Melrose, an anxious eldest child after my own heart.

6. The Perilous Gard by Elizabeth Marie Pope (1974)

In 1550s England, no-nonsense Kate Sutton is exiled to the Perilous Gard, a remote castle occupied by suspicious characters, including the lord’s guilt-ridden younger brother Christopher. Troubled by the holes she sees in the story of the tragedy that haunts him, she does some problem-solving and ends up in a world of weird shit. Cleverly plotted, deliciously spooky, and featuring an all-time-great heroine, this book was an absolute treat. The beautiful Richard Cuffari illustrations in my edition didn’t hurt, either.

5. An Unconditional Freedom by Alyssa Cole (2019)

Daniel Cumberland, a free black man from New England traumatized from being sold into slavery, and Janeta Sanchez, a mixed-race Cuban-Floridian lady from a white Confederate family, have been sent on a mission to the Deep South by the Loyal League, a pro-Union spy organization. Initially hostile to everyone (but particularly to somewhat naive Janeta), Daniel warms to his colleague, but will her secrets, his shattered faith in justice, and the various dangers they face prevent them from falling in love? Nah. Alyssa Cole’s historical romances deliver both on the history and the romance, and this is one of her strongest entries.

4. The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite (2019)

Heartbroken by the death of her father and the marriage of her ex-girlfriend, Lucy Muchelney decides she needs a change of scenery and takes a live-in position translating a French astronomy text for Catherine St. Day, the recently widowed Countess of Moth. Catherine, used to putting her interests on hold for an uncaring spouse, is intrigued by this awkward, independent lady. I’ve read f/f romances before, but this sparkling Regency was the first to really blow me away with its fun banter, neat historical details, and perfect sexual tension.

3. The Wager by Donna Jo Napoli (2010)

After losing his entire fortune to a tidal wave, Sicilian nineteen-year-old Don Giovanni de la Fortuna sinks into poverty and near-starvation. Then Devil makes him an offer: all the money he wants for as long as he lives if he doesn’t bathe, cut his hair, shave, or change his clothes for three years, three months, and three days. This fairy-tale retelling is an extraordinarily moving fable about someone who learns to acknowledge his own suffering, recognize it in others, and extend compassion to all.

2. Vampires in the Lemon Grove by Karen Russell (2013)

In this collection, Russell weaves strange tales of silkworm-women hybrids in Japan, seagulls who collect objects from the past and future, and, yes, vampires in the lemon grove. She also posits the very important question: “What if most (but not all) U.S. presidents were reincarnated as horses in the same stable and had a lot of drama going on?” My favorite stories were “Proving Up” (about a nineteenth-century Nebraska boy who encounters death and horror on the prairie), “The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis” (about a disadvantaged high school student who discovers an effigy of the even more hapless boy he tormented), and “The Barn at the End of the Term” (the horse-president story).

1. The Wonder by Emma Donoghue (2016)

Lib Wright, an Englishwoman who has floundered since her days working for Florence Nightingale during the Crimean War, is hired to observe Anna O’Donnell, an eleven-year-old Irish girl famous for not eating for four straight months. With a jaundiced attitude towards the Irish and Catholicism, Lib is confident that she’ll quickly expose Anna as a fraud, but she finds herself liking the girl and getting increasingly drawn into the disturbing mystery of her fast. Like The Perilous Gard, this novel masterfully plays with the possibility of the supernatural, then introduces a technically mundane explanation that’s somehow much more eerie. Donoghue balances the horror and waste that surrounds Anna, though, with the clear, bright prose and the moving relationship that develops between her and Lib, who grows beyond her narrow-mindedness and emotional numbness. I stayed up half the night to finish this novel, which cemented Emma Donoghue’s status as my new favorite author.

#books #reading #top twenty

5 notes · View notes

technical-adulting · 5 years

Text

Hello, September!

Things have been going pretty good at my new place. There have been some bumps, an issue with vermin I’m trying to get a handle on, and the general issue of clearing out stuff with very little place to put it, but otherwise it’s been good. I have a functional bedroom, two bathrooms, living room (though theres some stuff I’ll want to move around eventually) and kitchen (but that needs a lot of work still.) There’s a spare room, laundry spot, though you’ve gotta keep and eye on the dryer because it won’t turn off. We’ve planted some plants outside and various people have chopped down some of Nana’s bushes by mistake. (Sorry Nana, please haunt them, not me.) I’ve transitioned into being the person who tends to the lawn, though this has been met with distrust from my dad so far. Alyssa went back to school, so I’m alone up here, but I’m getting used to the area. I might check out the game shop in town soon, maybe I could join a little dnd game there or just generally make some friends who live closer. Not that the drive to Mansfield is that taxing, but you know...

Farm sanctuary is extending my position until December. I attempted to get a full-time job there but I’m not sure that’s the right fit, and have begun looking for other job opportunities. I have an interview tomorrow!! The past few days I’ve felt a little antsy and I guess bored with my general responsibilities. I think that there’s something more than just finding a job up here that pays enough for me to exist (and pay my student loans). I don’t know what it is yet, if it’s going back to school or looking for more ambitious and farther away jobs, but I’m not sure yet. I think that there’s something out there for me that’s closer to my passions. I’m happy to do hard honest work, but I know that I was given a creative mind and a skill with sciences... so I don’t know yet, we’ll see what comes up. In the mean time I’m just blessed to have a job at all. The cats are doing good. I didn’t get to sleep at home last week because I was house sitting, and felt really bad that the first week Alyssa was gone, so was I. However, all has been forgiven and Whitney sleeps on the bed with me <3 I think Sophie would too but Whitney is a little territorial about the bedroom. (Brat) However, Sophie has decided that the spare room was made for her, so I guess it’s an okay trade off. I let them on the porch sometimes and it’s so funny because they’ll scurry back in if I catch them out there. Like it’s okay girls, you can do that, that’s why the door was open!

The office space is still full, but I’m sure we’ll get to it soon. I can’t do too much without mom, especially in that room, so usually I do desk-work from the living room floor, lol. We have little tv stands but they’re just not the right shape and I have old-lady back problems to begin with. That’s my next big goal for this place, though. I did get a book from work! I haven’t read it yet, it’s been sitting in my car. I’ve been helping my church with some extra video projects, doing stuff like that, so I haven’t had a lot of time. It’s funny when I think about how I’m actually rather busy but still feel bored sometimes. I’m blessed, but I’m not satisfied, and I think that’s a good thing. I know there’s more out there for me. I know that I am going to change the world. I released another song recently but it hasn’t really gotten any attention. (Not that my stuff does that much anyways.) But I thought it was weird! I think I’m getting close to having enough songs to release a full album, but I’m not sure if that means I should avoid posting them the moment they’re done... I’m not sure I can contain my excitement, haha. I feel like I need something to promote me, but wouldn’t even know where to start with that. I suppose we’ll see. Anyways! Just a quick update :) Now I’m going to get back to it!

#kaieraai #life updates #journal

1 note · View note

sceptilemasterr · 5 years

Text

Catalysts Play Open Heart: Chapter 1

Summary: Michelle and the other Catalysts play through the first chapter of Open Heart. Snark and hilarity abounds!

Intro/Previous Chapter: Link

Note: The things in bold are scenes from the actual Choices chapter. Ian and Alyssa are my twin Endless Summer MCs.

Note 2: I wrote this chapter while playing through Open Heart, so I’m as blind as the characters are as to what’s going to happen! Same goes for the rest of this series.

“Alright, check this out!” exclaimed Zahra triumphantly, returning to the lobby with a large projector screen held in her arms. She unrolled it and set it up against a wall, then left again, returning a moment later with her laptop, Quinn’s phone, a projector, and a massive tangle of wires. “Big-screen phone app action, coming right up!”

“You’re the best, Player One,” said Craig.

As Zahra continued to work on setting up the projector, she passed Quinn’s phone back to its owner. “Thanks, Zahra!” Quinn said. “So, what, we just play on here normally, and it will project on the screen?”

“Yep. Pretty much.”

Michelle shrugged and looked around at the group. “Well, seeing as we just sat around for twenty minutes with no one making any suggestions… I vote Open Heart. This is either gonna be really good, or entertainingly bad.”

“Sure! Sounds good to me,” agreed Quinn. “What about the rest of you?”

“Me too!” put in Grace.

“Great,” said Sean. “So that’s three votes, to… uh, has anyone else actually suggested anything?”

Raj shook his head. “I’m fine with whatever, but let’s not pick Endless Summer. The crab doesn’t like it when we pick that one.”

“Okay, no more substances for Raj,” snarked Zahra.

“If there isn’t a football book, then I’m fine with the hospital one,” said Craig. “Wait, is there a football one?”

“I don’t think so. Sorry, Craig,” said Diego.

“Aww, man…”

“Hey, Raj!” said Jake. “What’s the rules for the drinking game?”

Raj shrugged. “Uh, actually, I dunno, haven’t played this game before. Quinn, any ideas?”

“Well, I’m not really a drinking game kinda person…” she said.

“No worries! Just tell us some things that can happen in the game, or funny things that we can drink when it happens. If that makes sense.”

“Somehow, it both made total sense and no sense at the same time,” said Jake.

Quinn thought for a moment. “Okay, how about this? Drink whenever there’s a paid choice that should logically be free, drink whenever there’s a shameless flirting option, and also if we pick a wrong choice and fail something. How’s that?”

“Sounds like a great start! We can always add more rules later,” Jake pointed out.

“Boom! Alright, it’s ready,” said Zahra. “Quinn?”

Quinn smiled, handing her phone to Michelle. “As the medical student in the room… Michelle, I think you should do the honors.”

“Thanks, Quinn! You’re the best,” Michelle said, taking the phone and winking at Quinn. “Alright, then, let’s do this!

OPEN HEART: Chapter One

Craig started dancing to the music as the title screen appeared. “What?” he asked, when everyone stared at him. “It’s catchy!”

“You are the biggest dork,” Zahra said.

Dr. Ines: Let me guess… First day of your medical residency?

“Whoa, you got promoted fast, Michelle!” joked Jake.

“Ha. I wish I were a resident already…”

Choose MC’s gender

“So, uh… guy or girl?” Quinn asked the group. Everyone just shouted out their own gender.

“That was predictable,” Diego said.

“Why don’t we settle this democratically?” asked Aleister. “Shall we put it to a vote?”

Estela did a quick head count. “There’s more guys than girls in our group. That’s not fair!”

“Doesn’t matter, I’ve got the controls,” Michelle smirked, picking the “girl” option.

As she continued to customize her MC, Sean laughed. “You’re just making yourself, aren’t you?”

“What? No,” said Michelle, as she gave her MC blonde hair. Then she typed in the name “Michelle.” “Uh, maybe?”

As she added the last name “Nguyen,” Quinn’s phone auto-corrected it to “Big Ten.” Jake, Craig, and Zahra roared with laughter. “Damn, Meech, I never knew you secretly played basketball!” Craig said.

Michelle frowned and deleted “Big Ten” and replaced it with “Nguyen,” which stayed this time.

Dr. Ines: Here you go, Dr. Nguyen.

“Okay, I like this book already,” Michelle said, smiling at the name “Dr. Nguyen.”

“How many years until that’s for real, again?” asked Alyssa.

“Two more! Assuming it all goes well, of course,” Michelle told her. “God, I can’t wait.”

MC!Michelle: Ever since I learned Ethan Ramsey was here. His research basically inspired me to apply to med school!

“Wait, Ethan Ramsey?” asked Raj. “Is he related to Gordon Ramsay?”

“Gordon Ramsay? Is he not the one who battled Jon Snow in the series about the ancient warriors?” asked Varyyn.

Diego facepalmed. “No, that’s Ramsay Bolton. And before any of you ask, yes, we did just marathon all of Game of Thrones a few weeks ago.”

“Anyway, this Ramsey is spelled with an ‘E,’” Ian pointed out.

“Oh, right,” said Raj sheepishly.

“Alright, let’s get on with it,” said Michelle impatiently, clicking ahead.

Dr. Ines: And, uh, try not to annoy the attendings!

Michelle shuddered. “That’s the truth. I’ve heard plenty of horror stories about that.”

“Can’t be too scary,” said Estela. “Not compared to everything we’ve been through.”

“You haven’t heard the stories,” Michelle said simply.

Waiting Room Scene

“Hey! That lamp on the ceiling looks like a pinecone!” said Craig randomly.

“You haven’t even started drinking yet!” said Zahra. “Though now that you mention it… it kinda does.”

“Great, now we’ll never unsee that…” said Diego.

Timed Choice!

“Whoa! Choice time!” Michelle exclaimed. “What should we pick?”

“Why don’t we put it to a vote?” suggested Aleister.

“We should give her space!” shouted Alyssa. “She’s probably claustrophobic!”

“Why would she be afraid of Santa Claus?” asked Craig.

Ian shook his head. “It’s a hospital! We should call a doctor… aaaaand the time ran out. Great.”

Jake laughed and took a sip of his whiskey. “Well, we flubbed that one. Drink, y’all.” Zahra, Craig, Raj, and the twins all took a sip as well.

“This was embarrassing…” muttered Michelle. “Next timed choice, I’m not waiting to discuss this in committee.”

“I am not a committee!” quoted Diego in response, perfectly imitating Princess Leia’s voice. Everyone laughed.

MC!Michelle: Doctor…? Oh, right! That’s me!

“Honestly, is this character me, or Craig?” asked Michelle. “Like I would ever do something that dumb.”

“I dunno… first day jitters make you do dumb things,” said Diego. “My first day as a T.A., I forgot my own name.”

“Your name is Diego,” said Varyyn, patting him on the arm reassuringly. “You see? I can remind you.”

“Thanks, Varyyn, but I know my name now…”

Attending: You. Rookie. Get in here.

“Wow, someone’s got an attitude,” said Alyssa.

“We wouldn’t want to be disrespectful, though! Like she said before, we shouldn’t annoy the attendings,” Grace suggested.

“I liked the first doctor better,” said Quinn.

“Well, luckily, this one’s not timed. Let’s vote,” said Michelle. Everyone raised their hands for the two options, and “Right away, Doctor!” won 9 to 5. Michelle selected the option.

Woman: Nnh…

“Uh, is it just me, or does she look weirdly like the President?” observed Ian.

“Oh my God! Now that you mention it…” laughed Alyssa.

You look down… and see her fingertips are turning blue.

“She’s cyanotic!” said Michelle.

“‘Cya-what now?’” asked Craig.

“Cyanotic. Bluish discoloration of the extremities due to lack of perfusion,” said Aleister.

“My question still stands.”

“Fingers no have oxygen,” Michelle said in a stereotypical caveman voice.

MC!Michelle: Doctor, look at…

Michelle looked around at the crowd. “Another vote?” she asked.

“You’re the med student,” said Sean. “The medical choices are all you.”

Michelle shrugged. “Fair enough. We should definitely check the fingers.”

MC!Michelle: I think it’s a sign of low blood oxygen saturation.

“Hey, that’s kinda like what you said!” Craig exclaimed.

Attending: Bruising that quick suggests this woman is a hemophiliac.

“Wait, does that mean she loves blood? Is she a vampire?” asked Diego.

“OH MY GOD, I ALWAYS KNEW THE PRESIDENT WAS A VAMPIRE!” shouted Raj suddenly.

“That… that was amazing, Raj,” said Zahra. “I’m adding it to my book.”

“Besides, don’t be absurd. Vampires aren’t real,” said Aleister.

Grace looked quizzically at him. “After everything we’ve seen on La Huerta… you really think vampires are impossible?”

“One absurdity does not necessarily beget another.”

Quinn smiled. We are definitely playing Bloodbound next… she thought.

MC!Michelle: Hemophilia… low blood oxygen… no lung sounds on one side…

“Sounds like a pneumothorax… no, wait, probably a hemothorax from the bruising…” Michelle muttered to herself.

“Well? Which is it?” asked Jake. “This choice is all on you.”

MC!Michelle: It’s a hemothorax!

“...Or not,” said Jake.

“Wow, nice job, Michelle!” said Quinn. “You guessed that one!”

“Honestly, I was kinda hoping there would be an option to pick the diagnosis,” said Michelle. “But thanks.”

“Sometimes they do have you fill in the blank instead of choosing, you know,” Quinn told her.

“Really? Huh. Guess we might see one of those later!.”

Attending: We’ll have to do an emergency thoracotomy to drain the cavity instead.

“Well… that escalated quickly,” said Diego.

“Surgery? On the first day?!” asked Michelle.

“...It’s more likely than you think,” added Zahra. She and Craig high-fived at the reference.

“All I’m saying is, this kinda thing had better not happen on my first day…” muttered Michelle. “Though I’m reasonably impressed at the hemothorax presentation. I was expecting this to be a lot more inaccurate.”

“So far, anyway,” added Jake.

Scalpel: Take it!

“Did… did they really just give us a choice with one option?” asked Alyssa incredulously. “What was the point of that?”

“Oh, they do that a lot with… like, items and things,” Quinn explained.

“That’s pointless,” said Estela.

Attending: We’re outta time! Do it now, or this woman’s life is on you!

“But, y’know, no pressure, Michelle,” laughed Jake.

“Thank God this is just a game and not real life,” Michelle commented.

MC!Michelle: Incision at the fifth intercostal space… anterior… to the mid axillary line…

“My brain hurts,” Craig complained.

MC!Michelle: What do I do? ⇒ Steady!

“See? We do a lot better job at those when we aren’t voting on it,” Michelle said.

Aleister nodded. “Point taken.”

MC!Michelle: (Okay, I’m ready…) ⇒ Cut!

“Another one-choice option?” asked Estela.

“And that one wasn’t even an item picture. Weird,” said Quinn.

“New rule: Drink whenever there’s a one-choice option,” said Raj, taking another sip of whiskey. The other drinking game players all sipped their own drinks as well.

“Amen to that,” agreed Jake.

“You know what?” asked Quinn. “I think I’ll play, too. Be right back!” She got up and went into the kitchen, coming back a moment later with a colorful, fruity drink. “But no whiskey for me. This is more my thing.”

“Hey, the more, the merrier,” Alyssa said, smiling at her.

“Ahem!” said Michelle. “Can we continue please?”

Chest Tube: Push it through the incision.

“Whoa, that was fast,” observed Zahra.

“Drink, y’all,” said Jake.

With a spurt, blood begins draining out of her chest…

“Uh-oh,” said Craig.

“Craig, that’s supposed to happen. We’re draining the blood,” Michelle explained.

“Oh.”

Attending: She’s stable. Get her into surgery.

“WOOHOO, WE SAVED THE PRESIDENT!” cheered Raj.

“I don’t think that was the actual President…” Sean pointed out.

“WE SAVED THE PRESIDENT’S SECRET TWIN SISTER! WHO’S ALSO A VAMPIRE!”

Everyone laughed. “Close enough,” Diego said.

MC!Michelle: Amateur?

“Ugh. I hope my preceptors next year are nicer than this guy,” Michelle said to nobody in particular.

“Well then, we have another choice. Shall we vote?” suggested Aleister.

The results were 5-3-6, in favor of “I’m sorry, Doctor. It’s my first day.”

“Wow. Too many of us are too nice,” Estela observed.

“Hey! Being nice is… nice!” said Grace awkwardly.

“Rather repetitive, but I understood your point, Grace,” answered Aleister.

MC!Michelle: What an asshole…

“A-FREAKING-MEN!” shouted Zahra and Jake at the same time.

Michelle laughed. “Agreed.”

Nurse: Don’t worry about it, Dr. Ramsey is like that to everybody.

“Wait, that was Dr. Ramsey from before?” asked Ian. “Huh.”

“Well, it may not be spelled like Gordon Ramsay, but this doctor’s got the attitude down,” Diego commented.

“At least the nurse seems nice,” said Quinn.

You come face-to-face with a gorgeous woman in her underwear!

“Well, that’s… one way to make an impression,” observed Diego.

“Whoa. She’s gorgeous!” exclaimed Quinn. Michelle, Estela, Ian, and Jake all agreed with that statement, and Michelle quickly pressed the “Holy crap, you’re hot!” option.

“Shameless flirting! Drink, y’all,” said Jake.

MC!Michelle: Don’t count on it…

A chorus of “Damn”s from Alyssa, Estela, Sean, Diego, and Michelle followed the appearance of the guy in his underwear.

“Aww, neither of the options are blatant flirting,” complained Alyssa.

“That’s ‘cause you’re not thinking about it right: BOTH of the options are blatant flirting!” Diego responded.

“I like your attitude!” said Sean, high-fiving him. “Alright, let’s vote. And gaze at him some more.”

They quickly voted, with a 7-7 tie for both options. Everyone looked at each other awkwardly. “So, uh… now what?” asked Quinn.

“Guess that means I get to choose again!” said Michelle triumphantly, selecting the “I’m the one you should be scared of” option.

Jackie: You gonna change before orientation or what?

“Okay, I love me… her… in the white coat. Wish it didn’t cost money, though…” said Michelle.

“Uh, does this count as a drink?” asked Craig. “Because I can’t tell if the coat is supposed to be Michelle’s already or not.”

“I think it does,” said Zahra. “Nobody’s selling white coats in a hospital, you know.

“It’s settled then,” said Jake. “Drink, y’all.”

Bryce: Hey, if ya got it, flaunt it.

“I. Am. In. Love,” said Quinn, sighing dreamily.

“Quinn, he’s not even real,” said Zahra.

“C’mon, Z, how many video game protagonists have you had crushes on, again-” Craig started to say, before she clamped her hand over his mouth.

Bryce: She’s a total badass! World-famous head of neurosurgery before she got promoted. Guess she’s just a scalpel jockey too, Jackie?

“That’s gonna be you someday, Michelle, I bet,” Ian said.

Michelle giggled at the compliment. “Thanks, Ian. One step at a time, though! And I swear, if anyone starts calling me ‘scalpel jockey’ after this…”

“...you’ll know it’s one of us,” finished Jake. Michelle glared at him. “What?”

Wow, Dr. Emery is so…

Literally EVERYONE put their hands up for the “Inspiring” option.

“Astonishing,” said Aleister. “A unanimous vote!”

MC!Michelle: “The ‘room’ I rented in Boston turned out to be a closet under a very busy staircase.”

“What are you, Harry Potter?” asked Diego.

“Wizards aren’t real, either,” said Aleister. Quinn made a mental note to add The Elementalists to her list of books to have them all play next.

Aurora: No, as in medical intern Aurora Emery.

“Holy crap! PLOT TWIST!” Craig yelled, right into Zahra’s ear. She pulled away and shot a death glare at him.

“Can’t say I saw that coming,” Michelle admitted.

Dr. Emery’s your aunt? That must be so…

Aleister sighed. “Ah, yes, yet another vote,” he said. “All in favor of ‘cool,’ raise your hands…”

The “Difficult” option won out, 8-6.

MC!Michelle: Look, Aurora…

“Wow, she’s rude,” said Estela.

“Yeah, I wish we could’ve partnered with Jackie,” Ian commented.

“Or Bryce!” suggested Quinn.

“That wouldn’t make sense, he’s a surgical intern and we’re internal medicine,” Michelle pointed out. “Anyway, what do we choose?”

“I’m just trying to be friendly” won, 6-4-4.

MC!Michelle: (Wow. Apparently she is physically capable of being nice.)

“Okay, now that’s the real plot twist,” Diego said.

As the story continued with the MC examining the patient, Michelle muttered to herself when she read the lines. “Itchy, marbled skin… headaches, nausea, vertigo… cramped palms…”

“Let me guess, you’ve got the diagnosis already, Doc?” asked Jake.

Michelle shook her head. “Give me a minute.” Then the next choice appeared. “Alright, I’m overriding this one… First question for OLDCARTS is Origin.” She selected the “When did these start” option.

“What do old carts have to do with anything?” asked Alyssa curiously.

“It’s an acronym. OLDCARTS,” explained Michelle.

Annie: I had to cut my vacation to Indonesia short because of them.

“Travel history…” muttered Michelle.

Then the next choice appeared. “Alright, let’s vote,” Michelle said.

The winning choice was “We’ll do our best to make it quick.”

Neck Rash: Examine.

Michelle gasped. “Oh!” she exclaimed.

“Drink, y’all,” said Jake again at the single-option choice.

Ankle Cut: Examine.

“Damn, it’s like this game wants us to get drunk,” said Zahra.

“Drink, y’all,” said Jake.

“Okay, so, which choice do we pick?” asked Michelle. “Let’s vote. But for the record, the neck rash is probably the better choice.”

Quinn shook her head. “You know best, Michelle,” she said, “so let’s go with your choice.”

Annie: I was expecting some old grumpy guy.

“Like… Ramsey?” suggested Grace. Everyone laughed.

MC!Michelle: ‘Dr. Nguyen’... I don’t think I’m ever going to get tired of hearing that.

Michelle sighed. “Me neither. Someday…”

Annie’s Lab Results: Read them over.

“Seriously? Again?” asked Zahra incredulously.

Raj shrugged and raised his glass. “I’m not complaining… Drink, y’all!”

Jake frowned. “Hey, that’s my line!”

You plow into another intern, who drops the textbook he was carrying!

“Aww… Michelle, look how sad he is!” said Grace upon seeing the intern’s picture.

“Yeah, come on, Michelle, watch where you’re going! You made Grace cry!” joked Jake.

“Grace, that wasn’t even a choice option!” Michelle explained.

Grace frowned. “Can we please pick “My bad?” I really feel bad for that guy…” she said. Zahra opened her mouth to say something. “And yes, Zahra, I know he’s not real.” Zahra closed her mouth again.

Intern: No, no, I’m sorry, that was probably my fault. I was too busy reading my book.

Craig burst out laughing. “No wonder you feel bad for him, Grace; he’s you!”

Grace frowned, but then shrugged and nodded at him. “I’m not even going to pretend I wouldn’t do exactly that.”

“I mean, you did bring your textbooks on vacation, remember,” Zahra pointed out.

Dropped Textbook: Notice the cover.

“Hey, it’s by Dr. Ramsey!” Quinn observed.

“Drink-” Raj started to say, before Jake interrupted him: “DRINK, Y’ALL!”

MC!Michelle: Uh-oh, he’s coming this way! Hide me!

“‘Hide me?’” read Alyssa out loud. “What kind of reaction is that?”

Michelle laughed. “Yeah, I don’t care how mean Ramsey is, that wouldn’t be my first reaction.

(What do I do?)

“Drink, y’all,” said Jake as soon as the choices came up. Everyone laughed at the absurdity as the drinking game players sipped their drinks.

“Okay, I could kinda understand the white coat thing if you squint, but… WHY does it cost money not to hide behind Landry?!” shouted Diego. “What kind of choice is that?”

“Aww… poor Landry…” said Grace.

“And what the hell kinda name is ‘Landry,’” anyway?” asked Jake.

“Wait, it’s ‘Landry?’ I read it as ‘Laundry,’” said Craig.

“Craig, literally nobody on the planet would be named ‘Laundry,’” Estela said.

“Hey, it could happen!” Craig protested.

Michelle shrugged. “Guess we’re hiding behind Laundry… I mean Landry…”

You duck behind Landry like he’s a human shield.

“That’s a great mental image!” laughed Alyssa.

“Poor guy,” said Ian.

Dr. Ramsey walks by and easily sees you cowering in fear behind Landry’s small frame.

“Yeah, I had a feeling that wouldn’t work,” said Sean.

“For the record, I only picked that option because we’re all broke,” Michelle told the group.

“Wait, truly? You should have said something sooner!” interjected Aleister. “Having inherited my father’s fortune, I have plenty of financial assets available. If you wish, I can purchase some diamonds to avoid such absurd choices in this game.”

“Aw, Aleister, you’re the best,” said Grace, stretching up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

“Haha, he said ‘assets,’” laughed Craig. Raj high-fived him.

Michelle frowned. “Oh, grow up.”

Dr. Ramsey: Rookie? Are you… hiding from me?

Everyone laughed at the next choice that appeared.

“Oh, man… both of these options sound hilarious,” laughed Jake. “Which one should we go with?”

“It is always best to be honest,” said Varyyn. “Should we not answer ‘yes,’ as our character was indeed hiding behind Laundry?”

“Landry,” corrected Michelle. “And, uh… sure, sounds like a plan.” She selected the “Yes?” option.

Ethan looks with bemusement from you to Landry and back. Then he rubs the bridge of his nose and walks away.

Dr. Ramsey: ...Interns.

“Straight-up no comment,” said Sean, as everyone laughed.

“That was as funny as I was hoping it would be!” said Diego, a huge grin on his face. “This story’s off to a great start!”

MC!Michelle: I haven’t been off my feet since I got out of bed this morning.

“Now that is believable,” Michelle commented.

“I think I’d die,” said Alyssa. “Medicine is definitely not for me. More power to you, Michelle.”

Jake shoved Alyssa playfully. “Weakling.”

She shoved him back. “Shut up!” she laughed.

MC!Michelle: So, Annie…

Everyone voted on the next choice: “When did you move here?” won, 9-5.

After selecting the choice, the music became ominous. “Aah! Creepy music! That’s not good,” said Raj.

MC!Michelle: Annie? Are you feeling okay?

“Uh-oh… what’s going on…?” said Michelle to no one in particular.

“You’ve been hit by, you’ve been struck by, a Smooth Criminal,” Craig started to sing. Everyone stared at him. “What?”

Diego smiled and nodded. “I got the reference!”

Craig pointed to Diego triumphantly. “See? Somebody got it!”

“Guys, this is serious!” snapped Michelle.

Her heart rate monitor sounds a long, flat tone as her heart stops.

Everyone gasped. “Shit,” said Jake.

“Michelle, know what’s going on?” asked Quinn.

“Uh… let me think…” muttered Michelle. “Shock of some kind? Maybe from the infection, or… or a reaction to the medicine? Guess we’ll find out…”

But when she clicked through, she got to the end of the chapter. “...Or not,” finished Sean.

“What, it ends there?!” said Michelle.

“I hate cliffhangers,” Diego complained. “Can we play the next one?”

Raj held up a hand. “Let’s break first; somebody’s gotta clean the dishes before everything gets crusty and gross.”

“Not to mention I seriously need to pee,” Zahra added.

Quinn clapped her hands together twice. “Alright, then, sounds like a plan! Let’s go through the next chapter once we’re all done with whatever we need to do!”

(By the way: the “Big Ten” auto-correct actually happened.)

Next Chapter: Link

Tag List: @brightpinkpeppercorn @endlesshero1122 @endlesssummerfan @marmolady

12 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 6 years

Text

So Emotional (Sashea) Chapter 2 -MissChimKi

A/N: Really regretting not naming this fic “And they were roommates” but oh well life goes on. Enjoy chapter 2!

Summary:

Chatting with Sasha was so easy. Of course Shea had always been the outgoing type but she was still a little surprised at how well she was getting along with Sasha. It just felt right. She could tell that they would actually become friends and not just roommates.

In Which Sasha and Shea are roommates for their freshman year of college. Sasha is a useless lesbian and doesn’t want Shea to know it. Meanwhile Shea is trying to live her best Chicago life while being in NYC.

Waking up in a new place was always a strange feeling. Shea knew she would get used to it pretty quickly but she couldn’t shake the feeling of new beginnings as she woke up. This was her first time being away from home. She had lived in Chicago her whole life and she loved it with her entire heart, but coming to New York for school just felt right.

She already had a little group of friends here that had come the year before. While they weren’t the most close in Chicago, she could tell from their excitement when she announced that she would be coming that their friendship would be able to grow and evolve. It was nice knowing that she wouldn’t be completely alone to start out.

Her roommate seemed nice. After their initial awkward run in, literally, they had had a nice conversation while moving in. There was something intriguing about Sasha. While she was friendly she was still closed off and Shea wanted to get to know her.

Shea looked around her new room. Sasha was nowhere to be found, her bed was made and Shea hadn’t even heard her leave. She assumed that she had just gone to shower and get ready for the day. Shea had showered the travel off of her the night before so she just quickly changed and started on her makeup. She didn’t want to do a full face but she wanted to touch up a little bit so she just fixed her brows and added some mascara and gloss.

Sasha came in just a she was finishing up. She set her clothes down before sitting at her desk. “Hey girl,” Shea greeted her with a smile.

Sasha returned her smile, “Hey, sorry if I woke you up this morning I was trying to be quiet.”

“You didn’t wake me up at all, I was sound asleep. If the fire alarm ever goes off at night you’re gonna have to drag me out because I’m such a heavy sleeper,” she informed her.

“Can’t wait for that night, I could barely lift some of my clothes boxes so I think you’re just going to have to hope it’s a drill,” Sasha teased.

Shea giggled, “I’ll keep that in mind then, I’ll add it to our roommate agreement that you’re responsible for me in the event of a fire,” she joked. Their RA Alyssa had come in the night before to give them their dorm checklist and tell them they needed to make a roommate agreement. That part was pretty standard however Alyssa was anything but. She was an eccentric person that seemed to have more red bull than blood running through her body.

“Alright alright, let me get up in this gig,” Sasha mocked how Alyssa had come into their room the night before, “I feel bad because she seems nice but she’s a little much.”

“A little?” Shea raised a brow, “At least I won’t feel bad about getting in trouble because I bet she’s done it all already.”

Sasha nodded, “True.”

Shea checked the time of her phone seeing that it was almost ten. “Do you wanna go grab brunch at one of the dining halls then walk around a little before the activity fair thingie?” Shea asked her.

Sasha nodded, “Yeah sounds good. I’m pretty hungry.” Sasha quickly put on some red lipstick. The rest of her face was bare. Typically Shea would find this odd but it really worked for Sasha for some reason.

“That shade looks so good on you,” Shea complimented her while grabbing her purse and room key.

“Thanks,” Sasha gave her a small smile a light blush appearing on her cheeks.

They made their way to the dining hall in a comfortable silence. They had decided to go to the one that was closer to their dorm figuring they would have time to check out the other side of campus later.

They went their separate ways to get food Sasha opting to get an omelet while Shea went towards the pancake bar. They had blueberry pancakes which sounded great. Shea waited in line for the fresh pancakes to be put out. She struck up a conversation with the pretty blonde in front of her named Tatiana. “Those boots are everything girl,” she complimented.

“Thank you,” Tatiana smiled at her. She was nice enough. Shea found out she was in her third year. “You can come sit with my friend Juju and me if you want.”

“Thanks girl, but I’m here with my roommate that I just met so I should probably get to know her,” Shea declined.

Tatiana shrugged, “Okay well hopefully I’ll see you around,” she smiled before walking off to her friend with her plate piled high with pancakes.

She did the same once she had doused them in syrup. She walked over to the table where Sasha was already sitting. “Ooh that looks good, what all did you get in it?” she asked while sliding into the seat across from Sasha.

“Basically everything, I couldn’t actually decide what I wanted. It turned out pretty good though so I’m not too mad. Want to try a bite?” she pushed the plate towards Shea who happily nodded and took a piece.

“That’s so good, this college food is going to be the death of me I swear. It’s gonna be more of a freshman fifty,” she joked, “here try some pancakes,” she offered to Sasha.

Sasha smiled before taking a bite, “Damn now I feel like I made the wrong choice.”

Shea nodded in agreement. They finished their food chatting more about school and what they were most excited for. Shea had no idea how Sasha was going to balance all of her classes. The girl was doing a double major and even planning a minor, which according to her advisor should be totally doable given the amount of college credits she’d managed to get in high school.

She shook her head, “No offense girl but you’re crazy. I don’t know how you’ll have time to breathe or enjoy things besides school.”

Sasha shrugged, “I’ll be fine, it’ll just be a delicate balance.”

“I guess so,” Shea shrugged finishing her orange juice, “too bad these aren’t mimosas,” she lamented.

Sasha laughed, “We’ll have to start smuggling in champagne,” she suggested.

Shea clapped her hands together in excitement, “Yes girl I love the way you think.” Chatting with Sasha was so easy. Of course she had always been the outgoing type but she was still a little surprised at how well she was getting along with Sasha. It just felt right, she could tell that they would actually become friends and not just roommates.

It was a bit after eleven so Sasha suggested they walk around a bit before the fair started at noon. They put their plates on the conveyer and left the dining hall.

Campus at Charles University was stunning. It was still surrounded by city, but campus seemed like its own little bubble. Shea felt at ease walking around even if she had yet to learn her way to everywhere she needed to go. They still had a week before classes actually started so she had time to figure it out.

She and Sasha made their way to the center of campus where the fair was happening slowly. Taking time to check out all the scenery and buildings along the way. “There are some great photo ops here, we’ll have to come prepared sometime and do a basic roomie photoshoot,” Shea suggested.

Sasha nodded eagerly, “That would be so cute we have to now.”

“Our instas are going to be lit,” They had followed each other the night before. Sasha’s page being very unique and artistic with a lot of gorgeous photography and unfinished art projects that still managed to resonate with her. It was very neutral compared to her own bright and loud page showing off a lot of her fashion and mainly pictures of herself. She felt like Sasha’s insta was a little window into her, but it obviously didn’t show everything. Shea was intrigued by it nonetheless.

“Please, yours is already great you’re honestly a model,” Sasha nudged her.

“Whatever girl you’re a brilliant artist and photographer so I think we’ll make an awesome team and have a bomb ass photo spread,” Shea complimented her back, noticing Sasha blush a little which she found endearing. Shea was always a complimentary person, so by end of the year she knew Sasha would be sick of it but she hoped she would be able to help her take compliments better.

They reached the main pavilion of the campus where the fair was set up. It was already in full swing by the time they got there complete with a bouncy obstacle course which Shea had to laugh at. “There’s no way that one of these college idiots isn’t gonna break that.”

“I’m shocked it hasn’t already been broken,” Sasha remarked.

They made their way through the crowd of students to where the line of tables started. They ranged from businesses and restaurants surrounding the campus to organizations and clubs at the campus. They managed to snag lots of coupons and freebees.

They were on the outskirts of the fair eating some free ice cream and debating on whether or not they needed to prove themselves on the obstacle course when Shea heard someone call her name. She turned to see Max, silver hair perfectly straight against her black bralette top.

“Hey girl it’s crazy seeing you here,” Shea went in for a hug. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew Max was going to Charles as well but it didn’t really register. She and Max had never really spoken all that much. Max was kind of a part of their little squad but never fully. She hung out with them on occasion but she never seemed to fit in completely. Shea felt a little bad so she always tried to be friendly and include her in their outings when she was around.

“Yeah I know, it’s so crowded I’m surprised I ran into you,” Max told her.

“Oh this is my roommate Sasha. Sasha this is Max, she’s a friend from back in Chicago,” Shea introduced them.

“Nice to meet you,” Max smiled at Sasha before turning her attention back to Shea, “Have you seen any of the other girls yet?”

Shea shook her head, “No, I was going to try and meet up with them later if they’re not busy. They know I’m here but I was too tired to do anything yesterday.”

“That’s understandable,” Max nodded, “I met up with Pearl for breakfast today, did you know she has a girlfriend now,” Max said, hardly concealing her feelings.

“No I hadn’t heard. That’s good for her though.” Shea didn’t really want to choose sides, especially given that she was probably closest with Pearl. Everyone knew that Max had been in love with Pearl from the moment she laid eyes on her. Pearl had to know too she was just too polite to say anything about it.

“Yeah I guess,” Max shrugged.

“I’m looking forward to the gang being together again, it’s been far too long,” Shea tried to turn the conversation back to positive again.

Max smiled, “Yeah we should definitely try to get together tonight. I’ll text the group. I have to get back to my roommates now but it was nice to see you and nice to meet you,” she waved goodbye before walking off to a group of girls that were standing nearby.

“She’s very, tall,” Sasha commented.

Shea laughed, “Yeah that’s a nice way to put it.”

“How is it that you just moved here and you already have a squad?” Sasha questioned.

“We all did theater together back in Chicago. Most of them are a year above Max and I, we all decided to come here for our own reasons but it just worked out that we can continue to be a little group,” she explained, “I was never really that tight with any of them, I had my own group back in Chicago, but they seem to have formed a tighter bond since being here and it’ll be nice to have some familiarity while I’m new here.”

Sasha nodded, “makes sense,” she threw her ice cream cup away. “So you wanna go dominate this obstacle course?”

“Definitely,” Shea grinned, “As long as we can be the assholes that break it.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if it was you with those demon nails,” Sasha teased.

“Bitch,” Shea laughed, “I mean you’re probably right but still.”

Sasha rolled her eyes, smile still on her face while they walked to the course. They ended up beating two cocky frat boys through the art of distraction and diligence and sobriety probably.

“We the dream team,” Shea said after Sasha gave her a double high five and returned her hug at the end of the race. Shea really felt herself forming a friendship with Sasha. She hoped they would continue to get along as time went on.

They decided to walk back to their room after the race was over, they’d seen as much of the fair as they needed to see, Shea grabbed basically every pamphlet for clubs hoping it would be an easy way to make friends, whereas Sasha only grabbed a few that caught her eye. Shea hoped she could convince Sasha to go to a meeting of some sort in the upcoming week just so she wouldn’t have to be completely alone.

Once they reached the room again they both flopped on their beds. “That was fun, I’m glad we went,” Shea said. Sasha hummed in agreement. Shea pulled her phone out and saw that she had some messages from the group text about meeting up somewhere that night. It was no surprise that they couldn’t seem to agree on anything. Shea shook her head and set her phone back down. Somethings never changed.

After a while of sitting and browsing their phones occasionally showing each other memes or cool pictures that they found Sasha sat up. “I think I’m gonna go check out the gym and try to be productive. Any desire to come with?” she offered.

Shea thought on it, “I probably should but I think I’m gonna end up meeting with the girls soon anyways.”

“Suit yourself,” Sasha said before going over to her drawers to find her gym clothes.

“Would you mind if they came over here? I think they want to see my room,” Shea asked.

“No I don’t mind,” Sasha said while putting a t shirt over her sports bra. Shea had to acknowledge that Sasha had a great body. A little on the skinny side but she was still toned in the right places. Shea would typically comment on this but she didn’t want to creep Sasha out this early on. She was used to platonically flirting with all her girlfriends. Sasha was a new friend though, if even that, and she didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. She did note that she would have to work out with Sasha in the future to see what her routines were.

“I’ll see you later,” She waved before heading out the door with her water bottle and key in hand, popping some earbuds into her ears. She wondered what she was listening to. She would have to make her a banging workout playlist later so she could have some real pump up jams.

She texted the group letting them know they could come over whenever and giving them the dorm name and room number. They all responded enthusiastically and Shea was genuinely excited to see them again. She was sure they’d have some good stories and hopefully some freshman year advice for her.

She had done a little decorating the night before but she still had to figure out how she wanted to hang her pictures, so she got to work on that. Stringing up fairy lights with all of her pictures. Some of her family, some of her best friends Dida and Vixen and even some of the theater girls. She hoped they would take many more to add to the wall and if her photoshoot with Sasha happened those would be nice to add too.

She was caught up in her thoughts when she got a call from Trixie informing her that her and Kim were almost there so Shea headed down to meet them in the lobby.

Trixie let out a loud yell when she saw Shea before running to hug her. Shea rolled her eyes but returned the hug and the excitement, “Don’t be such a basic bitch Trix, it’ll ruin my rep before I’ve even established it.”

Trixie faked looking mad but was still laughing. Kim laughed before pulling her in for a hug as well. “It’s nice to see you again whore,” she greeted her. It felt like home, she was extremely glad to see these girls.

“When are the others coming?” She asked.

“I think Max is on her way and you know Pearl can’t be on time to anything. Apparently she’s bringing her girlfriend at some point, so you know Max will be extra standoffish and weird,” Trixie told her.

Shea shot her a look, “Don’t be mean to her she just wants our friendship, and to fuck Pearl but mostly friendship.”

Trixie tried to look innocent, but it didn’t really work for her, “You’re such a cunt to her you know, she looks up to you honestly you should be a little nicer,” Kim scolded her.

“I’m a cunt to you too and you’re still my best friend so maybe I’m just mean and people are drawn to it,” Trixie shrugged. “Oh shit there she is, hey Max we were just wondering when you’d be here.” Kim and Shea shared a look but luckily the other girls didn’t notice.

Max greeted all the girls, “So we’re just waiting on Pearl then?” she asked.

“And her girlfriend,” Trixie chimed in. Kim elbowed her but she pretended not to notice.

“This should be interesting,” Kim stage whispered and Shea and Trixie broke out in laughter. They weren’t intentionally making fun of Max but the whole situation would be far too awkward if they didn’t make a joke out of it.

Max blushed, “Well Pearl hopefully doesn’t have bad taste so I guess we’ll see,” she decided.

Pearl strolled in a few minutes later, “Hey uglies were you waiting on me?” she asked.

Shea gave her a huge smile before pulling her in for a hug. Pearl had always been the one she was closest with. They spent a decent amount of time together smoking weed and writing shitty songs. Pearl was in cosmetology school in Chicago at the time and always would experiment on Shea’s hair. It was good for Pearl because she got practice working on hair that wasn’t white and good for Shea because she didn’t have to spend all her money changing her hair with her mood constantly. By the end of the two years that Pearl had been in Chicago she had gotten really good at hair, especially Shea’s. That made her going back to New York that much harder.

“I missed you slut,” she said as sincerely as she could when they pulled away.

“Please you just missed me for my styling skills and weed hookups,” Pearl joked.

“True, just not the experimental phases, for both of those,” Shea teased back. “We can head up to my room now if y’all want,” she addressed the rest of the group again.

“Wow such a gracious host,” Kim read as she followed Shea to the elevator.

“Careful bitch, I’ll lock you out,” Shea warned.

“Or she’ll just keep any snacks from you,” Trixie joked making them all laugh.

“You wouldn’t dare, Shea’s too nice, way nicer than Trixie,” Kim quipped back.

“She also doesn’t have to live with you. I guarantee she would be a lot more mean if she had to put up with you that much,” Trixie countered. Kim flipped her off. Luckily they had made it to the room so Shea took the opportunity to get them to shut up.

“Wasn’t your new girlfriend supposed to be here?” Shea asked Pearl as she unlocked the door, holding it open for the others to file in.

“She’s going to come in a bit. I don’t think she can stay for very long because she already has plans, but I wanted her to meet you at least so I think she’s just going to stop in.” It was always hard to read Pearl’s emotions. She was always so chill that it overshadowed everything else. Shea thought she seemed nervous, but she couldn’t completely tell so she decided not to push it.

“Where’s your roommate?” Trixie asked, flopping down on the couch beside Kim. Shea threw her stuff on her bedside table before hopping onto her bed and making herself comfortable. Pearl took a seat beside her. Max hesitated for a moment before pulling out Shea’s desk chair and joining their little makeshift circle.

“She went to the gym. She’ll probably be back at some point,” Shea explained, “She’s really chill I think y’all will like her.”

“You’re gonna replace us already, I’m hurt,” Kim mocked offense.

Shea rolled her eyes, “Unless she has multiple personalities she could never replace all your dumbasses.”

Pearl laughed beside her and shoved her halfheartedly, “You love our dumbasses.” Shea had to agree, it was nice to be surrounded by so much love. Even if they acted bitchy to each other it was never real. They chatted for a while, about life and school and whatever else they thought of. They were eventually interrupted by the door opening to reveal Sasha, who still looked a little red in the face from her workout. She must’ve really went hard Shea assumed.

“Hey girl, how was your workout?” Shea greeted.

Sasha shrugged, “It was alright. The gym is huge I have no idea how to use half of those machines. I’m Sasha by the way,” she turned to address the rest of the room.

The others introduced themselves in a surprisingly organized manner. Sasha gave each of them a smile, clearly trying to remember all their names. “Sorry about the sweatiness, I’m going to go shower now,” she grabbed her clothes and made her way back towards the door, “Nice meeting you all,” she said before shutting the door behind her.

Shea felt a little bad for monopolizing the room this early. She hoped Sasha didn’t resent her for it, but she did say she could have friends over if she wanted so she assumed it was okay. They went back to their conversation.

It wasn’t long before there was a knock at the door. Shea assumed it was either Sasha who forgot something or the neighbors to tell them to quiet down. She got up to open the door, coming face to face to a girl with the tiniest waist she had ever seen and eyebrows sharper than most knives.

“Violet,” Pearl smiled, getting up to greet her girlfriend, “You could’ve texted that you were coming up.”

“I like to make an entrance,” she said in a bored tone, “I’m Violet,” she supplied surveying the room, as if they couldn’t have figured it out.

They all introduced themselves again, though Violet didn’t look like she cared about getting to know them at all. Her eyes lit up in a smirk when Max introduced herself, like she already knew she won the competition even though there really wasn’t one to begin with.

“Quite the party you guys have here,” she joked. At least Shea thought she was joking, Pearl was the only one who laughed so Shea cracked a fake smile just to show support for her friend.

“We were just catching up, it’s been a while since we’ve all been together,” Trixie explained.

“That’s nice Tracy. Catching up with friends is riveting I’m sure, but next time you guys should come out to a party,” Violet suggested.

“It’s Trixie, and a party would be fun you’ll have to let us know about all the good ones,” Trixie responded, voice dripping in sarcasm.

“Yeah I’ll be sure to,” Violet’s phone beeped and she pulled it out to check her message.

“That’s Fame, I was supposed to meet her like five minutes ago,” Violet told Pearl.

“Fame,” Max scoffed, “that’s an interesting name.”

“It’s a nickname,” Pearl supplied.

“Yeah. She thinks it’s because she’s basically famous, but really we call her it ironically because she grew up raising chickens on a farm in the middle of nowhere,” Violet added on. “Anyways I’ll see you babe and I’m sure I’ll see you all again at some point,” she pecked Pearl on the cheek before exiting swiftly.

“Well that was interesting,” Kim finally broke the silence. They all laughed except for Pearl.

“She’s really great I promise, she’s just a little standoffish around new people,” Pearl defended.

“Whatever you say girl,” Shea said.

Pearl opened her mouth to say more but before she could Sasha reentered the room. “Hey again,” she smiled at them. She looked comfortable in a big t shirt and shorts, wet hair over her shoulder.

“Hey Sasha, come join us,” Shea invited. Sasha put her dirty clothes in her hamper before dragging her chair over by the rest of them.

“You just missed Pearl’s girlfriend. It was interesting,” Kim informed her.

“Well if you guys are as close as you seem to be I’m sure I’ll meet her eventually,” Sasha figured.

Max still looked a bit irritated, “You didn’t miss much. She was only here for like half a second.”

Pearl shot her a look of annoyance, “She already had plans. She didn’t have to stop by at all.”

Max looked a little hurt, “Sorry, I just though she came off a little rude.”

“Yeah, I won’t deny that,” Pearl shrugged, “I promise she’s great though. I really like her.”

“That’s what really matters,” Kim gave Pearl a smile, which she returned.

“I’m sure you’ll find someone Max, you just gotta give it time,” Pearl told her. Max looked like she wanted to argue but just accepted that it was what it was.

“What about the rest of you,” Pearl addressed the rest of them, “Anyone special?”

“Nope, single forever,” Trixie sighed.

“That’s just because you’re too busy pining for Katya to notice anyone else,” Kim told her.

“Kim,” Trixie groaned, “I’m not pining for Katya, I know she would never go for me.”

“Pining,” Kim sing-songed at her.

“At least I have a love interest, I don’t think you’ve ever had one,” Trixe snapped back.

Kim shrugged, “No one’s really caught my eye. I know I’m ace but I’m starting to wonder if I’m actually aro too.”

“Maybe just demi,” Sasha piped up as all their eyes turned to her.

“Demi?” Kim asked, clearly confused.

“It’s like you need to feel a strong platonic connection before you begin to feel anything romantic. I have a friend like that,” she explained.

“I’ve never heard of that, but yeah maybe,” Kim considered it.

“What about you Sasha. Anyone special in your life?” Trixie asked and Shea was glad she did because it was something she had been curious about.

Sasha looked a little uncomfortable but she still answered, “Not at the moment no.” No one pressed her further which she looked grateful for.

“I’m single too, thanks for asking,” Shea informed them.

Trixie rolled her eyes, “That’s probably because your straight ass spends a suspicious time around lesbians,” she put air quotes around straight making the group laugh.

“Bisexual too,” Pearl chimed in.

Trixie waved her away, “Yeah same but gay enough to still be relevant.”

“You’re just Katya-sexual though so not that relevant. Wait how straight is Shea exactly, I was sure her and Dida were hooking up.” Kim asked, seeming genuinely confused.

“Um I’m right here,” Shea pointed out, “People thought Dida and I were hooking up? Friendship goals,” she smiled.

“I’m so confused now,” Trixie said and they all nodded in agreement, before changing the subject when Shea didn’t offer any more T on the situation.

They talked for a while longer. Sasha fitting into their conversation easily, though they had to give her some background for certain things. Eventually they decided it was late and they should get going. Shea hugged all her friends goodbye, making everyone promise to text her when they got back to their rooms.

“Yes mom,” Trixie teased.

“Nevermind don’t text me Trix, I don’t care if you get home safe.” Trixie laughed and followed Kim out.

Once everyone had left Shea let out a long breath, “Sorry if they stayed too long, I don’t think any of them know when to leave,” Shea apologized.

Sasha waved her off, “No they’re really nice it was nice talking with you all. You have such a genuine friendship,” she commented.

Shea smiled, “Yeah they’re all great.” She grabbed her makeup bag, “I’m gonna go get ready for bed.”

“Have fun,” Sasha teased. Shea laughed before heading to the bathrooms. She washed her face and brushed her teeth before wrapping her hair for the night. She changed into her pajamas and headed back to the room. Sasha was laying in her bed reading with her bedside light turned on. She offered to turn it off if Shea wanted to sleep.

“Nah it’s fine. I won’t go to sleep for a minute anyways,” Shea told her.

They both laid in silence, Sasha reading her book and Shea browsing her phone. Eventually Sasha turned off her light. “Night Shea,” she said softly.

“Night,” Shea returned before plugging in her phone and getting comfortable. It didn’t take her too long to fall asleep.

#sashea #college au #cisgirl au #lesbian au #group fic #side pearlet #side trixya #shea couilee #sasha velour #kim hi #trixie mattel #pearl liaison #violet chachki #max malanaphy #rpdr fanfiction #submission #misschimki #so emotional by chimki

26 notes · View notes

romyshq-blog · 6 years

Text

hello lovely people! i’m cathy and i’m super excited to be here with my trash bby, slater. she's messy, so i hope she fits in here! if u need an enemy, messy ex situation or contemptuous ex-friendship connection, look no further than this bish right here. under the cut you can read about her (she’s a hot mess!!!) and visit her pinterest board here if u’d like (her name is usually rachel but i decided to go wildt and change it *sweats nervously because i actually hate change*).

( MARGARET QUALLEY / CISFEMALE / SHE/HER ). [ ROMY SLATER ] is a [ TWENTY-ONE ] year old [ UNDERGRAD ] student studying [ JOURNALISM ]. they are known for being [ RESILIENT & PERCEPTIVE ], but also being [ CAPRICIOUS & CONTEMPTIBLE ]. if there was a song that described their life, it would be [ ACRYLIC BY FOG LAKE ].

first thing’s first, you should call her slater. in fact, unless you’re in one of her classes where they take attendance, you probably don’t know her real name is romy. she hates her name and has been going by her last name for as long as she can remember.

she’s from new york. her dad is very demanding and tempered and her mom is carping, cold and judgmental. so she didn’t grow up in a great situation.

her dad owns a bunch of properties in the city and in new jersey and they’ve made him very wealthy. they’re mostly crap apartments, motels & strip clubs. he has a lot of criminal ties and is pretty much just a creep.

he has a lot of cops, district attorneys, city council members, deputy mayors etc. on his payroll from bribery and/or blackmail stemming from his strip clubs and the dancers and prostitutes who work there. not to mention his mob affiliation. sooo basically he’s teflon.

slater’s mom is a social climber who won’t leave her husband despite him being….Not Nice™ since she wants to live lavishly. she’s long island trash...very real housewives

her mom is very selfish and refuses to take any responsibility for the way her life choices have fucked up her daughter while also constantly criticizing slater and her behaviors as if slater just…made herself into the person she is today?? and wasn’t molded by her parents and environment, ya know??

anyway, slater’s mom used to pharmacy shop and put slater on drugs to curb her justified behaviors. like having anxiety due to growing up in a dysfunctional and abusive situation. but she also did it to have slater basically labeled as “mentally ill” and on meds to keep her quiet about their family secrets. so slater has always felt like she’s messed up, even as a kid :///

slater still sees her parents occasionally on breaks and holidays and you can expect her to act out in interesting ways after being forced to go home.

personality;

sO! if slater had a label or trope or whatever, she’d totally be the anti-heroine. ya know, the girl who does fucked up shit and can be amoral and you want to hate her but she’s also sympathetic in a way and good (deep down).

warning: she’s a messy girl to be involved with. she’s got this emptiness inside of her. a hollowness. (hint; it’s depression). she uses anything she can to try and fill it up. drinking, drugs, sex. but she’s incredibly selfish & impulsive in her pursuits and ends up hurting people. a lot. and she always hates herself after but then just does it again.

she’s not a sociopath or narcissist in a clinical sense. she’s actually an insecure, self-conscious ball of anxiety but pushes all that down and plays the Cool Girl role. she does things she knows are wrong and can be a manipulative bitch. then it all eventually bubbles over like a pot on a stove, and paired with the guilt she feels, it causes a few public and many private meltdowns. but she's usually always the source of her own interpersonal issues tbh.

like, you can confront her with receipts of shit she’s done and she’ll just nod and stare at the ground and walk away. but then go into the nearest public bathroom and sob and feel so bad. but then??? still?? never??? apologize???? she’s a trip.

her aesthetic is uncombed hair, scuffed docs, flannels, torn jeans, tshirts from goodwill with moth holes. doesn’t shower or sleep often and chews her fingernails into stubs. like, she almost makes it a point to just look...Bad.

she gets really good grades because she can be very manic and intense. people in her high school used to tell her she had “crazy eyes” when she got like this because she gets very focused, perfectionistic, talks a mile a minute and you can practically see the gears turning in her brain. she works well under extreme stress, which is why most of her papers are typed up the night before their due date on five cups of coffee and a half pack of cigarettes.

perceptive of others and can be manipulative and a liar to either a. get what she wants or b. hide her transgressions. she was raised by narcissists so....this is what ya get.

she’s complicated. because on one hand, she wants to be a good person but on the other hand, she fucks people over and betrays people a lot.

i actually have a headcanon of how she lost her core group of high school friends that’s a good insight into her M.O. if you'd like to hear it:

so senior year slater got drunk and slept with her best friend alyssa’s boyfriend. she didn’t do it to be malicious. but she was too selfish, drunk & thinking about herself to care about how fucked up it was. she felt so bad about it but then caved and did it again and they had an affair. slater eventually broke it off, bottled up her guilt, continued the friendship with alyssa.

soon after, alyssa got pregnant by the same boyfriend. slater knew that alyssa’s bf was trash and supported her friend through an abortion.

but THEN, the boyfriend came clean and admitted the affair long after the fact. so alyssa thought slater supported her abortion for selfish gains because SHE wanted her boyfriend and (rightfully) felt betrayed. when in actuality, slater had long since stopped fucking him and only wanted what was best for alyssa when she supported her through the abortion. SO she did a bad thing in the past but still had good intentions. however, the past came back to bite her and she lost everything. don't get me wrong, she's not the victim in this situation. she fucked up. but not in the way her friends thought. so when she held her best friend's hand in the procedure, that came from a real place of love and she thought she was doing the right thing. however, she did do unforgivable things to the friend she loved. like i said, she's complicated because you can't outright say she's a soulless monster but you also can't justify or support her actions.

YEAH! that’s my messy slater. she can never make it out of a situation as the good guy. she makes mistakes that are unjustifiable but she has a good heart and isn’t a horrible person inside. she doesn’t know why she is the way she is but she hates it tbh. she hates the things she does and the way she feels. but she just!!! keeps!!! fucking people over!!!! like, there’s no sugarcoating it: she’s done some terrible things for awful reasons and never apologized for any of it. but she regrets. she just can’t seem to break the cycle. (she's v much inspired by rachel goldberg from unreal as well as gretchen cutler from you're the worst, mickey dobbs from love, camille preaker from sharp objects and mavis gary from the film young adult!!)

plots;

i’m a HOE for drama, as you can probably tell my my angsty, messy character.

so maybe ex-boyfriends on bad terms or ex-friends. someone slater fucked over n won’t take responsibility for what she did

OR someone who fucked slater over for a change. taste of her own medicine tbh

maybe someone naive and innocent she can corrupt since misery loves company

childhood friends or enemies, family friends, a cousin maybe? characters with criminal connects who maybe know her dad??

fellow journalism majors that hate her for giving journalism a bad name cuz they’re actually dedicated to journalism and integrity n slater sleeps with sources and barely ever shows up or turns things in on time lmao

a professor she’s fucking lol idk

someone who can see her at her worst.

someone who’s innocent and good and slater actually tries to protect them, like a sisterly bond

trouble-maker, burnout friends. or toxic friendships

friends with benefits

#drugs tw #alcohol tw #abuse tw #abortion tw #mental illness tw #most of this isn't graphic or in depth #just mentions!!#i feel like this wont show in the tags but #*flings it onto the dash*#beaumont:intro #also this is longggg

10 notes · View notes

lesbijkas · 6 years

Text

Mistletoe, Bananas, & Kisses

pairing: James Potter and Lily Evans Potter word count: 5.7 k [read on ao3] hey, this is for the @hogwartshousesnet secret Santa event!! I was assigned to @minervamcgee so I want to wish you a happy holidays Alyssa!! I know this is a few hours early, but I am going to be busy tomorrow and I wanted to make sure I posted this. it’s been so much fun being your secret Santa and I hope you enjoy the fic!! <3 <3

James’ eyes snapped open to muffled crying. The room was blurry, from the dark and from the lack of glasses. Lily didn’t stir beside him. He sat up with a yawn, grabbing his glasses from the bedside table followed by his wand. He cast a silent tempus only to fight back the urge to groan.

03:32

The crying got louder.

He made up his mind as he was already standing, leaving Lily to sleep as he crept out into the hallway. It too was dark, a dull light shinning up from the kitchen downstairs. The floors were cold, as was the air in comparison to the master bedroom.

James passed the hallway bathroom and a closet, pushing on the nursery’s cracked open door once he reached it only for his heart to lurch at the louder cries and hiccups coming from within.

The carpet was soft, the room warm, lights sluggishly dancing along the walls and ceiling in soothing motions. Fat tears rolled down Harry’s cheeks as James gently, ever so gently, lifted him out of his crib to press soft kisses to his forehead and whisper words of comfort to calm. He bounced Harry slowly up and down, walking towards the padded rocking chair that had quickly become his and Lily’s second bed.

Harry rarely ever cried, not as much as James had thought he would. Harry was a happy baby, a smiling baby, a baby James would never stop loving even for a moment even if he did cry and scream and wail every day.

Lily’s eyes (Harry’s eyes) looked up at him blurred over with tears. Harry’s face was flushed, his fists clenched, and his feet trying to kick out against James’ side. James pushed off of the floor with a foot in hopes that the motion would help, but Harry only whimpered.

“What’s wrong?” James whispered wishing more than anything he could make Harry happy.

Harry let out a gurgling noise in response, his face scrunching up as he started to cry again. James’ heart lurched. There was only so much he could do. James wanted to do everything for Harry, take away all of his discomfort so he could be safe and warm, so he could sleep through the night without a care in the world.

“Are you hungry? Did you have a bad dream?”

The rocking eventually seemed to help sooth Harry’s tears. He instead looked up at James with a wonder all babies seemed to possess. Harry lifted his hand towards James’ chin, fingers curling when his arm was fully extended trying to grab onto something that was still quite a bit a ways away. James quickly moved his head down not wanting Harry to cry again only to smile when a small hand gripped his chin with determination.

“Much better now, hmm?”

Harry didn’t answer, instead choosing to focus on James’ chin and the soft skin below it that connected his head to his neck. James could only feel relief that Harry was okay. He let the chair go still as Harry brought his other hand up. Harry didn’t like that either, he let out another noise which made James push off of the floor again.

“Very demanding,” James only half spoke, Harry’s fingers creeping up towards his mouth.

James snorted, quickly moving the toddler into a different position so he faced James with their faces closer together. Harry looked confused only for a moment before he went back to grabbing James’ face, going for his cheeks and lips to squish and pinch them somewhat harshly. James tried not to wince, but he must have made a face because Harry (the little devil) laughed before moving his left fist under James’ glasses to try to poke James’ right eye out.

James, in response, lifted Harry bodily away from him, mock scowling as Harry still tried to grab at James’ face despite not being able to reach.

“You are a menace, an utter menace Harry James. You’re lucky you’re so cute,” he highlighted this fact by bringing Harry back towards him to press kisses to Harry’s forehead. “Or I might have resorted to drastic measures long ago.”

Harry grabbed James’ glasses in response, trying to tug them off, only to yawn before the bridge left James’ nose. He was tucked back up into James’ arms, a wandless levitation charm bringing his pacifier over so he wouldn’t suck on his thumb. Or his fist, as Remus discovered Harry was prone to do from time to time.

“You need to go back to sleep, we have a very exciting day tomorrow. It’s your first Christmas and I am sure you’re going to be spoiled rotten,” James let his tone be soft, soothing, as green eyes began to close. “I’ll be right here when you wake up, so there is no need to cry.”

And as Harry’s breathing evened out, James felt a weight lift off of his shoulders he hadn’t realized had settled there. Harry was happy, safe, once again. He could only sigh, allowing his glasses to float off to one of the tables nearby. He’d be there when Harry woke up, he had essentially promised, and breaking a promise to a five month old did not seem promising.

He made sure Harry was secure before letting himself relax, his own eyes drifting closed to block off the twinkling lights of the nursery.

…

James remained sprawled upside-down on one of the couches in the Gryffindor common room, his legs hanging over the back his hair flopping towards the floor in a tangled mess. His eyes were trained on the portrait hole that led into the room, waiting for Sirius to return from the kitchens with something warm to drink. Remus and Peter were upstairs getting changed into dry clothes, which James had done in record time to light the fireplace and snag a thick wool blanket to loosely wrap around himself.

The holidays had only begun and a snowball fight rivaling the previous years had gone on for a good few hours that morning. The four had trudged inside once it got too cold, their cheeks red and hands cold. Sirius had volunteered to grab drinks, and the others decided to change clothes. There were a few younger students in the common room closer to the now closed windows, most likely trying to finish their homework early or reading books to pass the time.

James knew some of the girls from his year stayed behind for winter break, including Lily, but he had yet to see them. James had originally planned to go home, and to take the other Marauders with him since he knew the wards would keep them all safe, but his parents told James to stay at Hogwarts for the year. It was safe. He could be amongst his friends. He could study for his OWLs.

No one wanted to mention the elephant in the room. The reason why so many halfbloods and muggleborns were staying in the castle that year. Why Slytherin house was essentially vacant. How students would get letters in the mail then disappear for weeks only to come back hallow, eyes dark and voices small.

He was startled out of his thoughts when Remus sat down next to him, a thick sweater and worn jeans replacing Remus’ usual pristine uniform. Remus nudged James to see if he would tip over, which he did before falling off of the couch with a thud, laughs filling the room soon afterwards.

Sirius had to walk in on that. Of course.

“So Moony is finally getting his revenge after all of these years,” Sirius spoke with laughter tinting his voice. Mugs clinked down on the table to the right of James, Sirius looking down at James’ sour expression with a grin.

“Shut it Pads.”

“Remus, you killed his holiday spirit.”

“I didn’t kill anything. I think he feels betrayed by you,” Remus quickly responded, extending a hand down to help James back up. “Sorry though, didn’t mean to make you fall off the couch.”

“Remus pushed James off the couch?” Peter’s voice sounded from the stairs, a slightly bewildered expression on his face. “Why do I always miss the good stuff?”

“Because you’re always busy eating dirt?”

“That joke wasn’t even funny the first time Sirius.”

James sat upright, knocking his knee against Remus’ with a mock scowl before reaching out for a mug, the smell of hot chocolate making his heart feel lighter. He took a sip only to pause when he noticed the extra mug.

“We feeding the ghost in your sock drawer Sirius?” the question earned him a snort from Peter, who had sat down on the floor to be closer to the fire.

“No, but if a certain redhead walks by and you happen to have an extra mug of hot cocoa to start up a conversation with, wouldn’t that be the best Yule gift of the decade?” he answered with a question, crossing his legs as he sat back as if he had just solved Britain’s problems.

“I told you that I don’t need a wingman Pads.”

“I’m simply being a good fellow; you know how it is…”

“It’s ridiculous is what it is-”

“Lily just walked downstairs,” Remus interrupted their banter while looking over his shoulder, the before mentioned Lily indeed making her way towards the portrait hole.

James was up off of his seat with the extra mug in hand in a flash, quickly making his way over to intercept Lily without even fixing his hair for once. Sirius fist pumped while Remus rolled his eyes, letting his legs stretch out on the couch cushions now that James had moved.

“Evans!” James called out before she could leave, a smile plastered on his face.

Lily turned to face him, an eyebrow raised as if to ask him ‘what is it this time’ without actually voicing it for once. She too had forgone her uniform, but still had her prefect badge pinned on her sweater as usual.

“Yes Potter?”

“Would you like some hot chocolate? The house elves accidently gave us extra and it has cinnamon in it, it’s really good,” he offered her the cup, expression brightening.

“Sorry, I’m allergic to cinnamon,” she didn’t sound all that apologetic.

“Oh, uh, sorry, I’ll just,” he turned to leave, practically screaming in his head before Lily burst out laughing. James turned back around to see Lily covering up half of her face, the tops of her cheeks scrunched up the only evidence of how wide her smile was.

“I was joking, gosh. You’re like a disappointed puppy- thanks, I’d love the cup,” she held out her hand to take it, smile smaller but still present.

James quickly handed it over, heart pounding in his chest.

“Want to come and sit with us for a while?” he offered, gesturing with his thumb over his shoulder.

“I already have somewhere to be, maybe later.”

James nodded, trying not to feel bitter, “Going to meet up with Sni- Snape?”

“No,” she held her mug with both hands, fingers seeming to tighten with the word, “No, I’m not. He didn’t stay this holiday. His mother is sick and his father, well, he can’t be trusted to watch after her.”

Lily was clearly torn up over it, and while James didn’t even come close to tolerating Snape on good days, he couldn’t imagine his mother getting so sick that he would have to watch over her. He didn’t know anything about Snape’s home life either, but Lily clearly did.

“Oh, well, I hope she gets better.”

“I do too.”

James floundered for a second, not wanting to leave the conversation there.

“So, where are you off to?” he quickly blurted, hoping he didn’t sound desperate.

“I promised Alice I’d meet her in the library. We’re going to do some revisions for our potions OWL and try to finish up our homework,” she spoke, clearly relieved with the topic change.

“Alice stayed at Hogwarts too?”

“Yeah, her parents sent her a letter the night before the train left asking if she could stay at school. We don’t think anything bad has happened, but they’re probably busy with something or another.”

James nodded, rubbing at the back of his neck, “Well, maybe we could do something later? After dinner maybe?”

“That sounds fine; maybe we can revise for our transfiguration OWL? You’re the best in our year so, well, I mean, if you want to revise anyways,” she paused, tucking some hair behind her ear, “Sorry for imposing.”

“No, it’s fine! I’d be happy to. Maybe you can help me out with charms?”

“Sounds like a deal. Well, good talking with you James. Thanks for the cocoa,” she smiled at him again, before she made to leave as she had been earlier.

“No problem.”

The portrait closed behind Lily and James felt as though he should break out into song and dance, jump for joy, shout from the school’s roof top, and explode all at once. He had finally had a non-snarky decent happy conversation with Lily Evans that wasn’t one sided. Things were looking up.

James walked back over towards the others and flopped over onto Remus’ legs, not caring that hot chocolate splashed onto his jumper or that Remus grunted in annoyance. He didn’t even make a comment about Sirius’ look, he didn’t care because Lily had called him James with a positive tone of voice and he could hear angels singing.

“Someone just went to cloud nine,” Sirius crooned, earning a look from Remus.

“C’mon Sirius, let him have this,” Peter spoke up from behind his mug, “I doubt it’s ever going to happen again.”

“What I’m amazed by is the fact James actually agreed to study.”

James looked over at Remus with a pout, “I’ll have you know I’m a genius.”

“A genius, sure,” but Remus stopped speaking when James hit him across the face with a pillow before squeezing Remus’ knees causing the werewolf to let out a cross between a shout and a squeal.

“Oh shit,” Sirius quickly scrambled to hide behind his chair as Remus tried to tackle James down, multiple laughing and hollering voices finally filling the Gryffindor common room for the first time in what felt like months.

…

Lily woke up to find James’ side of the bed empty and cold. She immediately grabbed her wand from the side table, looking for any signs of a fight or struggle as she silently walked out into the hallway. Nothing was amiss, other than the nursery door being open. Lily’s heart began to pound as she feared the worst only for it stop at the sight of James asleep in the nursery’s rocking chair, Harry safely tucked in his arms.

She tucked her wand into her pocket, leaning against the open doorway with a fond smile on her face. They were all safe. Her worries had been for nothing. Lily could only sigh as she made her way into the room, cancelling the charm she has set the night before to shine dim lights along the walls and ceiling before going to pick Harry up.

He made a noise, his face scrunching up slightly as Lily repositioned him in her arms, pressing kisses just above his ear. He blinked open his eyes to peer at his mother, his hands going to grab for her hair. Lily could only smile, even if the little tugs hurt her scalp, because Harry was himself as usual.

“Good morning beautiful, did you sleep well with your dad?” she asked with a coo, carefully placing his pacifier down after he spit it out.

“Muh,” he put her hair in his mouth, eyes shining, “Mum.”

“If you’re hungry, I can get you some breakfast. Mummy’s hair is not good for growing boys,” she gently extracted her hair from his grasp, letting James sleep on. “I think there are some bananas down stairs with your name on them.”

Harry babbled back at Lily as they went downstairs, his head turning all over the place to glance at moving pictures and the snow outside the house’s windows. He made no fuss as he was deposited into his highchair, legs kicking in the air as Lily cut up some banana into slices for him to eat.

Lily put on tea as Harry grabbed the banana slices to shove them into his mouth. He soon had the fruit crushed on his cheeks as well as his chin, but he was smiling widely at Lily as he ate which made the inevitable cleanup worth it.

The front door opened and closed quickly as the kettle went off, Lily listening as shoes were hurriedly taken off, followed by gloves and a coat before heavy steps made their way through the living room and into the kitchen.

Sirius had snow already melting in his hair and a bright smile on his face as he slid across the title to give Lily and hug and a kiss on the cheek before he turned to Harry with his arms open wide.

“There’s my favorite godson, eating breakfast all by himself. Look at how big you’ve gotten,” Sirius paused to lift Harry into the air high above his head, “Did you miss me?”

“Pah foo!”

“Yes, it is I, the glorious pah foo, here to make your first Christmas the best yet!”

“Paf!”

Sirius brought Harry back down to give his nose a kiss, putting him back down into his highchair so he could finish his food.

“Happy Christmas Lily.”

“Happy Christmas Sirius, do you know when Remus and Peter will be over? Alice and Frank are visiting tomorrow, but I haven’t heard from the other two and I want to make sure they’re going to be coming today.”

“I don’t think Peter can make it, something about his mother getting sick again, but I know Remus will be over around nine this morning,” he moved to get mugs down out of the cabinets as he spoke, “Where’s James?”

“Still asleep; he fell asleep in the nursery last night. Harry must have woken him up.”

They both turned to look at the mentioned baby to see him crushing a banana slice on his head. Sirius began to laugh, but Lily only shook her head as Harry joined in on the laughter like he usually did when James or Sirius started.

“I’ll give him a bath and a change of clothes; you can wake up the sleeping beast.”

Sirius moved towards Harry again, mug of tea in one hand lifting the toddler with his free one. Harry grabbed for Sirius’ hair, getting banana residue in the black locks, laughing all the way up the stairs. Sirius didn’t seem to mind the food in his hair at all.

Lily followed him back upstairs at a much more sedate pace, smiling as she heard running water and more babbling coming from the hallway bathroom. James was still asleep where she had found him earlier, chin tucked against his barely moving chest.

She moved to shake his arm, frowning when he only let out a mumble and didn’t open his eyes. She opened her mouth to tell him tea was ready, but changed her mind at the last moment.

“James Potter, you’ve already missed breakfast and if you don’t get up within the next minute you’ll be late for transfiguration!”

Lily only watched in amusement as he bolted upright, pure terror on his face at the thought of missing a transfiguration class at NEWT level. She burst out laughing when he regained his bearings, especially since he wasn’t a student at Hogwarts anymore.

“Really Lily? On Christmas?”

“If you stopped falling for it every time I used it, then you wouldn’t have a problem.”

James only pouted at her before grabbing his glasses to put them back on his face. A squeal sounded from the hallway, which distracted Lily long enough for James to wrap his arms around her waist from behind and press a kiss against her shoulder.

“Happy Christmas Lily.”

“Happy Christmas James. Sirius is giving your son a bath-”

“Why is he only my son this morning?”

“- since he crushed banana all over himself mere minutes ago.”

“Ah, I see,” but his words broke off into a mumble as he pressed another kiss to Lily’s shoulder, then on the side of her neck. “Anyone else here yet?”

“Remus will be showing up soon, but Peter can’t make it.”

“Mmm…”

“You do realize Sirius will be walking in here to get Harry a change of clothes any moment, right?” Lily asked, her voice full of amusement.

“That moment is right now, so if you both could be fully dressed when I walk in, I’d appreciate it. We only need one naked Potter on our hands.”

Sirius walked into the room not a second later, carrying Harry wrapped up in a towel and a still full mug of tea. He placed Harry down on the changing table before rifling through his clothes drawers.

“You could at least act sorry Pads.”

“But that would be lying my dear Prongs, and I am above such lowly sins, aren’t I Harry?”

Harry blinked at Sirius before laughing again, most likely at the expression on his face that neither James nor Lily could see from their spot in the room.

“I rest my case.”

James snorted.

“Sure. Is there tea in the kitchen?” he directed his question to Lily.

“Your mug is on the counter.”

“Thank you.”

Lily watched as James left the room only to practically tumble down the stairs in his quest for caffeine. Harry kept moving his legs and arms, making it harder for Sirius to clothe him, which only made Sirius coo and laugh about how Harry was already a trickster.

She looked on the scene with fondness blossoming in her heart, Harry’s babbling and laughter making that Christmas morning all the more special.

…

Lily fought the urge to slam her textbook shut in frustration. She had been trying to finish her essay for defense for well over two hours, on the day of Christmas Eve no less, out of only the one book because Mister-Holier-Than-Thou defense professor had said the students would only need the assigned textbook. What a load of hogwash.

She fell back on her bed with a groan of frustration, hands coming up to rub at her eyes. Lily wanted to finish the essay today so she wouldn’t have any more homework over the rest of break. She had already spent the entire day in the library previously however, and she didn’t fancy going down there again.

Still, it was either put it off or get it done, and if she finished then she wouldn’t have to worry about anything else for a good two weeks. Making up her mind, Lily quickly threw her supplies in her shoulder bag before shoving on some shoes. She put her hair up into a ponytail as she walked downstairs into the Gryffindor common room, which was almost entirely empty.

“Good morning Lily!”

She turned to see Remus reading a book in a favorite armchair of his, his legs tucked up against the arm rest. Peter was asleep in the armchair beside him, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

“Good morning Remus, enjoying the holiday?” she spoke while walking towards the portrait hole, head still turned towards the other.

“Yes, I am. Sorry for keeping you if you’re busy, I hope whatever problem you have you can solve it quickly,” he offered the clean farewell with a soft smile, his eyes drifting back towards his book.

“It’s fine, just,” she paused in the doorway, letting out a huff of air, “I don’t know if you’ve started the defense assignment yet, but you need more than the text book despite what our professor said.”

“Charming.”

“Far from it,” but she paused as footsteps came thundering down the stairway, Sirius shooting out from those that led to the boy’s dormitory to launch himself over the back of a couch near Remus, hitting the warn leather with an auditable wheeze.

Lily blinked. Remus merely sighed.

A hand came up over the back to wiggle fingers in Lily’s general direction.

“G’morning Lily!”

“Good morning Sirius. You okay?”

His head popped up over the side next.

“I am one hundred and ten percent perfect.”

“Sure you are,” Remus interjected, his book placed to the side without much reluctance for once.

“I am.”

“Well, yes, anyways, I should get-” but she, once again, did not get to finish as she was bumped into from behind, a muffled ‘shit’ following her stumbling trip to the floor.

She looked behind her to chew whoever ran into her out, but paused when she didn’t actually see anyone. Lily frowned, reaching out to feel if anything was there only to hear the scuffling of feet as though someone was reeling back.

“Oh no you don’t- who’s there?”

Silence followed her question. She was about to stand up and move forward only for James to appear out of thin air, expression crossed between mortified and sheepish. There was a shimmering cloak now in his hands, as was his wand and a piece of parchment.

“I can explain,” he quickly went to defend himself, scrambling over to offer Lily a hand up off of the floor.

She got up without his aid, narrowing her eyes at him in clear disapproval. He smiled uneasily, shoulders shrugging up as if he didn’t quite know what to say but also didn’t want to say nothing.

“Then explain.”

“I missed breakfast because I slept in late after staying up last night to finish up the charms assignment, because I wanted to get it out of the way early and didn’t realize how much time ad gone by, so I snuck into the kitchens to grab something to eat, but a bunch of Hufflepuffs were outside of the kitchens when I got ready to leave and they were about to come inside so I had to sneak all the way back up here.”

“And you have an invisibility cloak for the specific purpose? To escape from Hufflepuff students?” Lily finally asked, disbelief in her voice.

“Well, no, I use it for a lot of things but that’s how it came in handy this time. So, sorry about bumping into you. I was relieved that I hadn’t been caught by anyone and I wasn’t paying attention once I was in safe territory,” he spoke while finally pocketing his wand and the extra parchment. “You’re not hurt right?”

“I’m fine James; please watch where you’re going next time, okay?”

“Can do,” he pivoted to allow her to pass, an arm spread out towards the still open portrait, “Your exit.”

Lily refrained from rolling her eyes as she moved forward only for Sirius to call out to her again, as he had probably been watching the interaction alongside Remus since the beginning.

“Hey! Evans, Lily, you need to kiss James before you go.”

“Excuse me?”

James’ face flushed a bright shade of crimson at Sirius statement while Sirius only laughed. James made to move towards the other, most likely to ring his neck only for Remus to stop him with a somewhat pitying look.

“Sirius, you should have let it go,” he told the still laughing teenager, who had already fallen back on the couch.

“No way! It’s practically Christmas, mistletoe is the law.”

It was at that point Lily look up to spot the offending decoration hanging from the ceiling almost directing above both her and James. She had already wasted enough time, and Sirius wouldn’t drop something like this for weeks. Lily finally did roll her eyes before walking closer to James, pulling him even closer by the shirt front, to place a kiss on his cheek before turning to Sirius with a bright smile.

“Have a wonderful day Black.”

With that, she left, James standing dumbfound for a least a minute after the portrait closed until he let out a whoop, jumping up and down as if he had won a quidditch game.

Lily didn’t see or hear any of his celebrations though, as her mind was already on what books she could be using to help finish her essay, her own cheeks starting to pink because, well, James skin was rather soft.

…

James, Lily, and Remus, who had arrived only moments before, looked up as Sirius finally came back downstairs, carrying a now fully clothed Harry who was sporting a Christmas themed onesie with a reindeer on the front of it.

“Oh Merlin, he’s adorable,” Remus spoke first, setting his cup of tea down to accept the baby from Sirius, smiling at the quick babbling that hollowed.

“James picked it out,” Lily chimed in, nudging James’ shoulder with her own. He grinned, lifting his chin into the air at the comment.

“Quit being a ham, James.”

“Quit being an untrained puppy, Sirius.”

“Woah, hey; that’s a low blow.”

“No!” Harry cut their bickering off from Remus’ lap, his fingers winding up in his mouth soon afterwards.

“Exactly Padfoot, no.”

Remus only shook his head, trying to gently pry Harry’s hand from his mouth, which was met with resistance as Harry grabbed onto Remus’ fingers with his free hand in a death grip.

“This dysfunctional family will never get along,” Sirius finally said in resign, sitting down on the floor near the tree that had been set up only to get over his fake negative mood quickly to make faces at Harry again.

James and Lily watched as this went on, leaning against each other with warm smiles on their faces.

“I can’t wait to do this all again next year,” James spoke out of the blue, his voice low so only Lily could hear it as Remus slid to the ground with Harry to join Sirius.

“We see Remus and Sirius all the time,” Lily spoke, a bit confused at what James was trying to get at.

“I know that, and I’m happy we still do, you know? Christmas is just special, it’s a time for family and I’m glad I get to experience it with you and Harry every year for the rest of my life,” he turned to look at her, pressing a kiss to her temple, “And, maybe someday, we could have another kid or two. I’m sure Harry would love siblings, and while I may not be the best father, I will love them all with all of my heart.”

Lily could feel her heart practically burst at James’ confession, even as she kept watching Harry smile and laugh at his godfathers’ antics. She would love to have another baby, one with her freckles and James’ eyes.

“I think I would like that,” she looked up at him with all of the love she could muster. “When the war is over, I really would.”

James squeezed her side, tears gathering in his eyes.

“Me too.”

“Muh!” Harry called out, making James and Lily break eye contact to watch Harry as he grabbed onto one of his legs, looking at Lily with the happiest expression she had ever seen. “Foo!”

James laughed, his shoulders bouncing up and down as Lily covered up her smile with her hand.

“Yes sweetheart, that’s your foot.”

Harry let his leg go to laugh again, Sirius’ fingers tapping lightly against Harry’s stomach to make him laugh even louder, Remus hiding his own grin behind his cup. Harry truthfully was the light of all of their lives, and James and Lily couldn’t wait to have a baby with soft red curls and bright brown eyes.

…

“How much further are we going to walk James?”

“It’s not too long now, I promise,” he gave Lily’s hand a squeeze as if to confirm his words, continuing to lead the blindfolded redhead through the halls of Hogwarts.

“Any longer and we’re going to miss Christmas dinner you know.”

“That won’t be a problem,” he reassured her, voice earnest.

Lily could only hope he was right as they made another turn before going up another staircase. She was getting a bit antsy, seeing as how James had blindfolded her randomly back in the common room before everyone made their way down to the great hall for the Christmas feast. That had been at least ten minutes ago, and while almost everyone she had been waiting with seemed to know what James was doing she had no idea where this expedition was going to lead her.

“Okay, I have to let go of your hand for a second, but I’ll be right back. Stay here, and don’t remove the blindfold,” he gave her hand another squeeze before he let go, his footsteps fading until a door opened.

Lily had lost track of where they were going two sets of stairs previous, so whatever room James had opened and was now ushering her into was a mystery. Which, thinking on it, was probably why James went the longest way possible.

“Here we are,” and, suddenly, there was light.

Lily blinked a few times to see a table set for two in a now cleaned abandoned classroom, the decorations festive and twinkling. The food was still steaming and James had somehow gotten a bottle of coca-cola even though he only knew it existed from Lily telling him about it a month previous.

“So,” the word focused Lily’s attention back to the now slightly embarrassed James. “I figured our first Christmas together as a couple should be special, you know? So, I got some of the others help me set this up. Remus got the soda last Hogsmeade weekend because he knows his way around muggle London, and I got you a gift.”

Lily didn’t know what to say. What could she say?

“Sorry if it’s not all that glamorous, but everyone said you’d like it. If not, we can always make it to the feast; I took the long way here-”

“James, shut up. It’s perfect.”

James’ mouth actually closed with a muffled click of teeth, his ears going dark. “Th-thanks.”

Lily only rolled her eyes, stepping forward to press a kiss to James’ lips. James quickly recuperated, arms coming up to hold Lily’s shoulders. They kissed once, then twice, before Lily pulled back with a soft smile.

“Happy Christmas James.”

James kissed her one last time, eye shining.

“Happy Christmas Lily.”

#hhnsecretsanta #minervamcgee #jily #James Potter #Lily Evans Potter #Harry Potter #& others #I am super duper happy w/ how this turned out oh my gosh!!!!#I really hope you like it Alyssa!! happy holidays <3 <3 #fikcja #hp: James #hp: Lily #hp: Harry

15 notes · View notes

crescendohowell · 7 years

Text

Adventurous

Summary: Phil isn’t much of an adventurous uni student. That is at least, until he goes out with a friend to the club and wakes up the next morning with no memory of the previous night and a text from someone who he apparently had “fun” with.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: alcohol mentions

A/N: idk but here’s some cute coffee shop getting together fluff type of thing. i’m still just trying to get back into writing (and get back into actually finishing fics lmao) but hope this is a good happy read (i actually have another fic that i’m gonna post tomorrow that i’m much more excited for but shhh)

read on ao3

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.”

Phil had never really been much of the adventurous type. He tended to prefer staying in to going out and anytime he tried to break a rule he ended up feeling so anxious that he couldn’t go through with it. Instead he was content to play video games and go to coffee with his friends and not really worry about doing any of the things that kids in uni were supposed to do given that this was the time of their lives that they were supposed to be messing around.

However, last night, for some completely unknown reason, Phil had (albeit reluctantly) agreed to go out to the club with one of his good friends. He remembered how hot it was when they had first walked into the building pulsing with music and he remembered how absolutely horrible the first shot of the pineapple mango vodka had been. But after a couple more shots of slightly less vile alcohol and at least one beer, Phil’s memory of the past night started to go a bit fuzzy.

So fuzzy in fact that when he woke up the next morning with a text from an unknown number that read “hey I had so much fun with you tonight, just texting you now so that you have my number”, he had absolutely no idea who it was from.

Phil tried to wrack his brain for any memory of talking to someone new but it was all completely blank. Of course, his pounding headache and nauseous stomach weren’t really helping his thinking abilities and he set his phone back down onto his bedside table with a sigh as he decided to worry about the text later, maybe after an aspirin and some toast.

That small detour however, ended up turning into a long while of sitting on the couch playing video games and definitely not thinking about the text on his phone. Then Phil’s roommate came home with his own stories from the past night and Phil spent a while just listening.

It was after that that he decided it was probably time that he finally dealt with the text.

Still sitting on the couch, he unlocked his phone and opened up the dreaded message. Staring at the words, Phil didn’t even bother clicking to type yet because he was so far from knowing what to say. He couldn’t help but wonder what the “I had so much fun” part implied. He had never been one to get handsy with a stranger but given how much last night was outside of Phil’s normal habits, he wasn’t even sure if he could trust that aspect of himself.

The text didn’t have any emojis or anything and Phil found himself analyzing that aspect of it as well. When he had girlfriends in the past they had always used a lot of hearts. He couldn’t help but wonder if maybe the mysterious texter was a guy. Phil had only just figured out he was bisexual in the past year (and by “figured out” he meant that after many sleepless nights he had finally admitted to himself what he knew had always been true). He had never actually told anyone else though, let alone actively pursued a boy. But the thought that the text might be from a guy was more exciting than Phil would care to admit and it was really the only thing that made him intrigued enough to finally get over himself and start to write something back.

<< 12:45pm: hey, sorry I didn’t write back sooner, I’m afraid I don’t remember much of last night, you might have to jog my memory lol. I’m sure that it must have been nice to meet you though! >>

<< 12:51pm: haha makes sense you don’t remember, you were pretty wasted mate. >>

Phil stared at the response in shock, letting out a breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding. The stranger responded so quickly and judging by the “mate”, they actually were most likely a boy. He almost started to type something back but instead three bubbles popped up as the stranger began to write again.

<< 12:52pm: my name’s dan (i'm assuming you don’t remember that lol) and we danced for a while at the bar. >>

<< 12:52pm: well nice to meet you (again?) then dan!! i must’ve not done anything too regrettable given that you’re still talking to me haha. >>

<< 12:53pm: I mean we did have some pretty interesting conversations when I dragged out outside to make sure you got into your uber okay… >>

<< 12:53pm: oh god. >>

<< 12:54pm: dw it was nothing too bad, just some of your deepest darkest secrets. >>

<< 12:54pm: I know that was sarcastic but given that I was flirting with you at all…already exposing one of my secrets that nobody else knows. >>

<< 12:54pm: oh shit man. >>

<< 12:55pm: yeah…I know. >>

<< 12:55pm: well if it makes you feel better, you didn’t seem like you’re still in the closet given the confidence with which you practically grinded on me with. >>

<< 12:56pm: I’m not quite sure if that makes me feel better or worse lmao. sorry if I made you uncomfortable. >>

<< 12:56: oh no I definitely wanted it trust me. I would have wanted to do more too if you hadn’t been so tipsy. >>

<< 12:56pm: yeah? >>

<< 12:58pm: yeah. we should meet up sometime Phil. I don’t want this to just be some one time drunken dancing. >>

<< 12:59pm: you remembered my name. >>

<< 1:00pm: of course. >>

<< 1:01pm: and yes, I would like if we could meet up. maybe even a date? >>

<< 1:02pm: see? this is what I mean! way to confident to have never told anyone about not being straight. but yes, I’d like it if it was a date :) >>

<< 1:03pm: tomorrow? we can go grab a coffee? I’m assuming to you to York for uni too… >>

<< 1:04pm: sounds perfect and yes I do. meet at Second Cup at 10am tomorrow? >>

<< 1:05pm: see you then!! >>

And Phil set his phone, letting out another shaky breath because oh my goodness he had a date with a boy named Dan who he had apparently danced with and wasn’t that the most wonderful thing? All those worries about if he was attracted to boys seemed so far away as he felt giddy about someone that he didn’t even know what he looked like. All Phil knew was that he couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come. And that he was missing texting Dan already.

It wasn’t until Phil was walking to the coffee shop the next day that some of the nerves began to settle in. He realised that while Dan obviously knew that he wasn’t straight, nobody else did and if he saw one of his friends at the coffee shop (as was quite likely considering he often went there with various different friends) they would probably ask Phil questions about who Dan was. Phil wasn’t sure if he was ready to answer questions like that truthfully.

But on the other hand, he didn’t want Dan to feel like he was ashamed of him. And besides, this would be a good way to come out to people. Phil mainly only hadn’t done so in the past because he hadn’t been quite sure (which had been fixed now) and because he was the worst at bringing up things up in conversation. Still, he didn’t know if the middle of a coffee shop was the best place to spring something like that on an unsuspecting friend. Phil decided that he could only hope that nobody he knew well enough that they would ask would be there.

Those thoughts kept Phil occupied for the walk but as he pulled open the door of the shop and felt the warm rush of the air inside as he walked into the comforting scent of coffee, he realised that he wasn’t entirely sure what Dan looked like. And he was even less sure how he was supposed to act on a date with a boy. He figured it was mostly the same, but he didn’t have all that much experience with dating girls either, at least not lately, and he really didn’t want to screw this up. Wanting to continue to appear as though he was straight had always been enough to force himself to talk calmly and without stuttering to cute boys, but Phil had a feeling that he would be a bit of a mess now that he didn’t have to pretend that anymore.

“Phil?” A voice interrupted his thoughts as they walked up to him. “Nice to see you here!” It was one of girls he talked to in his media class last year. Her name was Alyssa and they had studied together before big exams.

“Hello,” Phil forced a smile because as nice as she was, his thoughts were definitely on finding someone else.

“It’s a shame I’m just heading out,” Alyssa looked towards the door, wrinkling her nose at the cold windy weather that she was about to walk out into. “We’ll have to catch up some other time thought. I’ve missed talking to you.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Phil’s smile was more genuine this time. She was actually quite a lovely person and he had missed having her in a class. He couldn’t help but feel relieved that she was leaving though. “Text me, yeah?”

“Yeah,” She smiled back, readjusting her backpack on her shoulders. “See you around.”

And she was out the door before Phil could say goodbye.

It wasn’t because she moved quickly though, but rather once she stepped aside Phil saw someone else and he got a bit tongue tied. Alyssa was forgotten about as Phil couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful boy sitting at the table in the back of the shop. He knew immediately that the boy was Dan, feelings from other night washing over him as soon as he saw his face again. Phil still couldn’t remember anything specific but all of a sudden he could feel the aching want that he had felt that night. Dan was stunning. Phil hadn’t understood why that night had finally been the night that he couldn’t hide his feelings for boys any longer, but now it was perfectly clear.

Phil would give up so much to be with Dan. The want was so strong it almost scared him. But as Dan looked up, making eye contact with Phil, and smiled a dimpled smile, Phil had never felt less scared.

“Hey,” Phil walked up. His voice broke a little on the word but really, wasn’t that to be expected?

“Hi,” Dan’s eyes crinkled.

Phil thought that brown eyes were infinitely more stunning than anyone ever gave them credit for.

“At least you remembered what I looked like enough to find me,” Dan teased.

“Mm, don’t think I could forget that,” Phil didn’t even bother trying to hide the fact that he couldn’t keep his eyes off Dan. His hair was so curly and his jacket fit him so well.

“You’re such a flirt even when sober,” Dan’s smile was filled with amusement as he spoke.

“You bring out all my most desperate flirting,” Phil finally sat down at the table in the chair across from Dan. He desperately wanted to run his fingers lightly over the light freckles on Dan’s cheeks. Phil had never been this impossibly attracted to someone.

“Well you’re pretty cute yourself,” Dan said as though he could read Phil’s thoughts.

Phil thought that his heart might beat out of chest and he almost couldn’t breathe but oh, it was the best feeling. The cutest boy he had ever met was flirting with him and he was flirting back. It was more than he had ever allowed himself to dream of.

They spent the next hour in their little back corner of the coffee shop. They sipped on identical drinks that Phil had insisted on paying for and talked about everything. There was never a moment of awkward silence. Phil had known that Dan was cute from the beginning, but by the end of that hour his attraction to Dan went so much further than just based on appearance.

When they walked outside together, they made promises to see each other again soon as they stood close together in the windy weather while Phil counted the freckles across Dan’s nose. He thought about how he wasn’t much of the adventurous type. He was normally the type of person to take things slow and wait a couple of dates before initiating anything. But then again Phil wasn’t normally the type of person to go to a club or the type of person to grind on cute boys while dancing or the type of person to text back a stranger whose name he couldn’t even remember.

So Phil took a breath of the cold air and counted Dan’s freckles and didn’t think about anything but the warm feeling in his chest. He let it seep throughout his body, gathering it all up, until he was able to feel the anxiety that was always there begin to slip away.

Phil leaned forward and pressed his lips against Dan’s. They kissed softly with the wind swirling around them and the taste of coffee on both their lips.

This was most certainly the beginning of a huge adventure, but already it was one where Phil already felt like he was at home.

#what a predictable title lmao #phanfic #phan #phanfiction #phan fluff #mine #coffee shop #uni

38 notes · View notes

kulifefall2019 · 4 years

Text

This KU Housing Life

Prologue:

The MSU was flooded with unfamiliar faces left and right. Freshmen were checking in for student orientation. Leah was signing in when someone she recognized approached her. She was greeted by a girl she met at color guard auditions. They had a brief conversation and realized that they both made it and would be moving in soon to get ready for band camp. The girl looked at her and asked if she had found a roommate yet. Leah originally was going to room with someone from her high school, but all of the sudden, her friend bailed on their plans and decided to room with someone else. She explained the situation to the color guard girl and noticed a little bit of excitement from the response.

“Well, I don’t have any friends that go here. Would you want to room with me?” the girl laughed. She seemed nice and chipper. She would probably be a simple and easy living situation. Why not?

Not all living situations appear as magically and as simple as Leah’s freshman year experience, but finding people to live with and spend time with on campus is a big part of the college experience. Understanding the different aspects of KU housing will help incoming students navigate the different options and situations that come with living on campus. These different aspects have been broken down into three acts: Act I “And They Were Roommates,” breaking down a more in depth experience of having roommates and some of the situations that can arise living with new people; Act II “It’s a Wonderful Day in the Gayborhood,” discussing a different living option for those in the LGBTQ+ community who would prefer a more personal fit for them while they live on campus; and Act III “Visitation: Just Stopping By,” explaining the rules of visitation in certain dorm halls through personal anecdotes.

Act I And They Were Roommates:

Horror, success, and love stories can all emerge from discussions of roommates, be it in college or later in life. I talked to my friend, Anna, who’s had her fair share of roommate experiences and also works in Housing. She talks about residents making a huge scene about their roommate’s clothes on the wrong side of the room and even a mediation she had to partake in. “I tried really hard to make a good living situation with her, but we just didn’t get along well at all. She ended up switching rooms. Because it was really hard to work out our differences.”

After this unfortunate experience, Anna was able to move her best friend into her dorm room. “When we first moved in together, it took some adjusting but it works pretty well. We already had chemistry and knew each other so it was easy to set boundaries and feel comfortable around each other.”

I decided to live with three friends of mine this school year in a Dixon double. We were excited to decorate, buy wax melts, and figure out what bathroom spray to buy. Once the time came around to move in and start seeing each other every single day, the excitement faded. I remembered the constant frustrations I felt with one of the girls the year beforehand. The selfishness, constant belief that the world was after her, and unfortunate simplicity would soon be sleeping feet away from me. We’ve tried to make amends multiple times. The two other girls and I tried to change our ways of communication and attitudes, but our friendship dynamic has yet to change. My side of the room is now constantly empty. It’s peaceful and stress-free, but there’s times where that stress can revisit.

Roommate choices can be the biggest concern. It’s all about making or breaking a relationship with them. Settling for disrespect and discomfort isn’t an expectation, but being able to communicate with a roommate can make or break your residence life experience. Sometimes, simply talking things out won’t work out entirely; that’s the crappy part. However, it shouldn’t completely destroy college. Through unfortunate experiences can come a breath of fresh air. Anna was able to find success within rooming with a friend of hers after a past, rough experience. I on the other hand, haven’t had my success story yet, but I have time. It can be discovered that friends are better as just friends, not roommates, however, it can also be discovered that friends are the best roommates.

Santana Outlaw

Act II It’s a Wonderful Day in the Gayborhood

When I first came to campus, I had no idea that there was even an option for people to pick their roommates regardless of gender. I always thought of the more traditional all girls’ floors and all boys’ floors setup like how it is in Johnson Hall.

By the time my freshman year was wrapping up, a lot of my friends who were girls already had found other people to room with for the following year. Even my roommate was going to be in a full suite with some of the other people we knew from band. I was starting to panic. Was I going to have to live in a random living situation next year?

Luckily, a couple of girls from color guard were still trying to find extra people to live with. They told me we would be living with this one guy from the drumline too. They explained that because he was a member of the LGBTQ+ community, we could sign up for something that was considered a “safe place living option” where we can pick in certain halls where we want to live and who we live with, even if they are of the opposite sex/gender.

Now, I had decided to take a semester off from college, and those roommates didn’t end up being quite the right match for me in the end. This year, I went back to a traditional living option, but it’s nice to know that we have such an open and accepting campus that allows students the opportunity to make themselves as comfortable as possible in a living situation that they have more control over.

This living option is so unique that I wanted to learn more about the logistics of it outside of my personal experience in this option. I sat down with someone who works as a DR for one of the halls on campus to get more information.

She told me about how this option was originally just Stonewall Schuykill Hall, which looking at it now makes sense. It’s the one freshman hall that doesn’t have gender specific floors or bathrooms. It then expanded into other housing options like Dixon, Golden Bear Village South, and other non-freshman dorms. In these dorms, they’re room specific instead of the whole building, and people go to the housing office in the spring term before the expected year to pick out the room they’re going to be living in.

She stated that, “It’s initial purpose was to give trans, intersex, etc. individuals the chance to live with an individual that “matched” their gender identity, or someone they felt more safe with,” but was for use of all individuals, LGBTQ+ or not.

The only problem is that some people take advantage of this housing option. My friend went into more detail about the loophole, “You can’t just ask someone to ‘prove’ that they’re LGBTQ+. We aren’t given membership cards when we say our sexualities. There isn’t an office we go to to get ‘official gay’ paperwork. It’d be a ridiculous and discriminatory way to run the policy.” Therefore, anyone could sign up for this housing option, even if they didn’t exactly need it. If they just wanted to live with their significant other without having to deal with visitation, anyone could just sign up for LGBTQ+ housing.

This housing style is so great for those in our community who need it to feel safer and more at home living on campus. It’s something to keep an eye out for though, because rooms could be taken really fast.

Alyssa Heaton

Act III Visitation: Just Stopping By

As a community assistant, CA, in one of our campus’ dorm halls I frequently encounter my residents’ visitors. Whether it be greeting them when they come in, or kicking them out right before midnight so that they don’t get a violation. I see some of the visitors so often that they might as well just be a resident. They come and go, and I just have to hope that they don’t cause any problems. However, because of this if they do cause problems it becomes my problem. I have to help desk receptionists, DRs, and make sure that people aren’t just sneaking into our building. While most are just there to hang out and chill, you never really know who is going to come into the building. They could be sneaking in to drink, or who knows what else, and again it becomes my problem. Or, they could be sneaking in to try and harm another resident. I’m here to keep the residents safe, and while I can’t stop all the problems, I can at least try and make sure that those entering our building aren’t going to cause any problems for those that live there. At the end of the day, I am mostly greeting them and kicking out the guests, but I still have to make sure that they’re all safe.

One Saturday while on my midnight round, I was given a list of people who were in our building, who were never signed out, and thus had to be kicked out. Now when I went to these rooms, like usual, the guest had left and just wasn’t signed out. So this now more or less just telling people they had a violation, and to talk to our building director, BD, to now get it fixed. Now there was one girl this night, then when I informed her about the violation, she apologized to me. She felt so bad about not only not signing out her guest, and having me come tell her that she must have said sorry somewhere between 5 and 7 times.

I have also been at the desk as people try and sneak guests in, or just ignore the desk receptionist, DR, as they try and get them to stop and sign in. There was one night where a resident walked in with someone that we knew didn’t live there and when we tried to stop them to sign, they wouldn’t. Which is then a whole other issue for the CA on duty, who happened to be me that day, our BD, and possibly other residents.

When asked about the housing policies an assistant resident director, ARD, remembered an incident from her freshman year. It was right before winter break, and she was visiting friends in Dixon hall for the day. She had thought she was signed in, but it turned out she wasn't. She was not informed about not being signed in until after midnight, even after been seen by a few different DRs. ". . . had seen me throughout the day and around the building and had still waited and not said anything about it."

After she finished her story, I asked if there were any major changes to the housing policy that she has seen as either a student or in her position as an ARD. She said the biggest change was in the overnight policy. During her freshman year, it was so that ". . .you could have an overnight guest, but only if they were of the same sex. But if a guy was having over a girl or vice versa they would have to be out by 2 a.m." She saw a problem with this because of its effect on not only trans and nonbinary people, but also couples trying to spend the night together. She also said that one of the changes she would like to see not only as an ARD but as a student here at KU would be a change in the mandatory sign-in time. She says, " I understand why because then it runs the risk of intoxicated residents. But there are some visitors who can’t get here until after midnight, and maybe the host forgot to make the pass or whatever, and then it’s like what do you do? You know?"

However, she also understands that compared to other schools out policy isn't that bad, recalling a school she heard about where they don't allow overnight guests, period. So in the end, although she would like to see our policy be improved, we both agree it could be much worse.

Jessica Burton

0 notes

mugler88 · 7 years

Text

Every Single Rupauls Drag Race Queen Ranked from 1 to 100 by David Mason You will notice as thece list goes it runs from HARSH to KIND being that we go from people who are wasting our time and perhaps not living an honest fantasy but trying to be something they FEEL they're SUPPOSED to be and talented artists who capture us as they reveal beautifully honest selves which bloom from their unconscious. The Top 25 are ICONIC GOLD and are identities who hold their own amongst all the queens. They are APEX PREDATORS and each could arguably be made number one depending on each persons values. This is MY list and therefore it reflects my values and needs. 100. Phi Phi O’Hara Shes actually the worst for being a horrible person who cant figure out why shes terrible and thats the worst part. I actually BOOED her in public when I saw her. Is it wrong to not like someone just because they were born??? I think it probably is BUT I dont like Phi-Phi because when they showed her mom her mom was like 26 and I just thought YUCK, unplanned pregnancy is just TACKY and I wouldnt have to deal with you if your mom just had the balls to own her own body and be responsible and kind to the Earth and abort you but apparently the apple doesnt fall far from the (say this in Goldie Hawn from Overboard voice) “short, fat, slut" and you come from a long line of short selfish inconsiderate people. Phi-phi is the best case as to why Planned Parenthood should be next to every McDonalds. 99. Kenya Michaels : Oh god Im disturbed by her. She was like that little doll from Trilogy of terror. I found her strong sexual identity so uncomfortable as it was just too obviously a defense mechanism from being a tiny rapeable person from a third world territory. Thats AWFUL to say but Im sorry its just what I saw. I didnt find it funny or sexy. I found it awful and cringy. Its NOT a reason to not like a person but it is a reason as to why I dont want to see her on my tv bending over and WAGGING HER TWAT at me. I dont want to celebrate her complex attempt at molestation management, Im sorry. Lets hope this is me just projecting. I know this is too much for the SECOND entry but Im just saying what I felt. I wish shed read a book instead of just GOING WITH THE SEX THING. 98. Kandy Ho: What gross name, what a skank not even a good skank like Samantha Fox, just a shitty skank. 97. Phoenix: Who? I really have to speed through this list I have to go to the gym. 96. Madame LaQueer: Id put her at 99 but I feel bad for her. Im a nice person. 95. Alisa Summers: i have no idea who this person is 94. Penny Tration: Oh fuck you for that stupid name. Get the fuck outta here. 93.Vivienne Pinay: Why did she think she was pretty or passable or fishy or WHAT? All I saw was “Hi, Can I get the lunch special? I’ll have tai Iced tea with Rad Prik Chicken and coconut soup. Thank you.” 92. Venus D-Lite: Venus is who I think of when I think of queens that dont matter. I didnt even say that to be mean. She just is. 91. Jaidynn Diore Fierce: ??? oh she was the one I think should be named PEANUT. 90. Naysha Lopez: What plane of consciousness thought this person needed to be seen? 89. Sasha Belle: Awkward entry! Rip off Mugler Chimera dress. HERES A TIP PEOPLE, dont try and copy the most amazing well made dress in the world that cost 300k to make and 900 years of 900 year old Parisian couturiers to make. I PROMISE YOUR VERSION WONT BE AS GOOD. If youre going to copy something also make sure said reference has a TEENSY bit of wiggly room for either styling OR improvement. The Mugler Chimeira dress does NOT. Stop looking at it, you cant have it. 88. Akashia: Maybe the first person to fall on the runway??? I dont know? I dont remember her exactly 87. Rebecca Glasscock: I went shopping with Ru once at Saks and a sales girl came up and said “Rebecca works here now!” Ru went from Cafe au lait to FISHBELLY faster than she could mutter... “Rebecca is here?…....now?” thank god the girl was like “Not today”… Cocoa pallor regenerated, shopping recommenced. Rebecca must have been INSANE. 86. Honey Mahogany: Who and Why and whatever…. 85. Derrick Barry: Nope. 84. Robbie Turner: I wish you were Tina Turner 83.Cynthia Lee Fontaine:The cowboy look was like a THANKSGIVING revelation that GRANPA IS A CROSS DRESSER?!?! 82. Darienne Lake: Dip into the cool water of Darienne Lake was the best thing about her and that was Rus doing so.. BYE and shes from like Rochester or some shit. YUCK mid/western New York is SKANK. 81. Ginger Minj: Just everything I don't appreciate. 80. BeBe Zahara Benet: She won season one and I think the prize was 10k and it shoulda gone to Nina. 79. Bob the Drag Queen: After the extraordinarily beautiful Violet won. The audience of sheep were put off by their inability to relate to her because they just arent as good as her so the next season they wrote the season about having a “peoples princess” win and that why we have SHITTY BOB the person who shouldnt have ever been invited. Whats WORSE and MORE ANNOYING is the LATENT worship of Violet after they realized JUST HOW GOOD SHE WAS ONCE THEY SAW BOB and Im sitting here with my fists clenched screaming YOU IDIOTS THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT?!?!?! Bobs season was the worst. 78. Delta Work: Shes the drag queens drag queen. Shes too bitter for tv though. Same reason as to why Jackie Beat isnt on tv, too sour for tv, but thats ok. There is certainly somethig to have the cache of being the type of queen you have to go out to see. When she botched the comedy challenge I felt for her. I could really relate. She has the comic ability and you could just hear the inner dialogue of self sabotage running in her mind. It sucked. Thats one of my challenges too. 77. Thorgy Thor: Funny smart queen that I like. Tv isnt a format that suits her. 76. Sahara Davenport : A sweet soul. 75. Yara Sofia: Ick… The best example of LEARN TO EDIT. Her styling is THE GOOP SHOW. You know how some people just have BAD VIBES? I just dont want her around me. I dont see her vibes swirling in a direction I wanna head towards. I kinda hate dreads, Id lie and not say it to sound cool but there just unsavory to me. Patchouli.. thats what I smell when I see them in my minds eye.They just make me ask.. Why do you deliberately choose to be kinda not so clean? Its some romantic notion I don't prescribe too. Im not earthy in that way. Im Earthy in a watermelons are fierce kinda way. 74. Kelly Mantle: This person is not Christine Baranski! Why are you telling me youre related to a baseball player like Im supposed to care? 73. Magnolia Crawford: ahahahahahahahahahah... that poor homosexual. He MIGHT be more disliked than phi-phi. THAT NOSE gets points.. it HAD to be a critique on nose contour right?! Does anyone ACTUALLY know her?! I feel like this might be some weird dare that a straight guy did and made it on the show. It was all so WEIRD?! 72. Jade. I really dont remember a damn thing but kinda thought she was a nice person maybe??? errr ummmm I just shrugged my shoulders to myself. 71. Lanaysha Sparks: She was quite lovely and even surprisingly talented on the craft contest but not knowing who Diana Ross is and your a drag queen is SATANISM. Poor bitch is from Puerto Rico, do you now Puerto Rico is twice as poor as the poorest state? That sucks. 70.Laila McQueen: Is this an OSBORNE CHILD?? Had she been on previous seasons she would have faired better. Seemed like a kid Id hire as an intern and could trust. 69. Serena ChaCha Oh my god Serena snook right by me?!?! AHAHAHAHAH Serena! Worst look of ALL TIME. how was SHE an art school student?! I cringed when she said that as Im an art school kiid and was like NO NO NOPE TAKE IT BACK CLOSE YOUR MOUTH! Serena was the victim of QUEEN ON QUEEN GANG BULLYING and what was worse is AMERICA BACKED THE GANG RAPE. It was like that scene in The Dark Crystal when the Skeksi looses the sword challenge and they all tear the clothes of him and banish him! Alyssa WENT IN on her….Coco even got a piece of Serena that day! Serena is lucky to be alive. 68. Jasmine Masters: Im disturbed by my own ability to impersonate Jasmine Masters. Its not THAT GOOD but its better than a 225lb Pollock should be able to do. Her Slinky worm routine makes me GIGGLE. She is ANGRY…...BLACK RAGE which I kinda appreciate in a way. I get it. I have gay rage so why cant she have BLACK RAGE?! 67. Tempest DuJour awww tempest.. We all like Tempest. Kinda funny shes a costume design teacher though no? She gave my husband a shirt and my husband wore it for her all day in Provincetown because my husband is like the sweetest person ever. I mean people were like “TEMPEST DU JOUR?!” they practically SPIT on him and he still wore it and he tagged her in the photo and she didnt even regram lolololol My poor husband, I love him so much. 66. The Princess: I made a comment about the Princess' look being shitty on Instagram once and all her fans went APESHIT. It was the two nastiest messages I ever deleted. 65. Monica Beverly Hillz I shoulda put her farther back. She was not so great. 64. Vivacious: Awwww the old battle axe of drag. I support her endaevor but her looks were so dated. I do however respect her respect for the art so… 63. Lashauwn Beyond: That name is so real. You can say she sucks but you can also say shes the spirit of drag taking you “up" so let her be. 62. Mrs. Kasha Davis: WOAH boy did she sneak by me?! She must have got here EARLY and just WAITED. She sucked so hard you kinda loved her for being honest. Kasha was like your olde gay neighbor whos taste level sucks but you respect her because she went through the AIDS crisis and is still smiling. Not even kidding. 61. BenDeLaCreme: I just did not like her. 60. Pandora Boxx: Oh god Pandora. Did you see that Unicorn video she made… bless this bitch. 59. Shangela Laquifa Wadley: Shangela was just cheap. Shangela is like the same taste level as like Paula Abdul, Mad Tv, Khols, a Sketchers Sneaker… I just never like what she does. I dont need it. Its poor person humor. Just because you say something LOUDLY doesnt make it more funny. ( as I type in CAPS) 58. Roxxxy Andrews: This poor bitch dug a damn hole… You know shes not likeable because she was shadey but she was more talented then anticipated in the creative challeges, and I thought she had nice skin. My husband HATES HER. 57. Kim Chi: One note. Refrigerator being pushed down a runway. I actually dont like her for not having the courage to be out to her parents. Its insulting to the rest of us. Buck up bitch, your mom already knows, shes known since you were 2. The fact you think she doesnt know is INSANE. Your non outness renders any talent moot. 56. Adore Delano: Thanks but Ive been to Hot Topic, NEXT. 55: Acid Betty: I don't remember much about the 00S BUT I STILL REMEMBER THOSE WIGS. 54. Courtney Act: Ok sure, but wheres the interesting part???? Her finale dress that was like rainbow hologram acetate was cool and nobody even mentioned it. 53. Trixie Mattel: I tried so hard to be nice to her in Provincetown and she was a cunt. Why are you a cunt to someone being NICE to you? 52. Coco Montrese : I could say mean shit but I wont. shes worked long and hard and deserves a clap. Shes not even a cunt. shes out of touch but shes from another world. Respect your elders. 51. Dida Ritz: Talk about out of touch. Her weird self loathing “Im a white girl” routine turned me into Jasmine Masters?! Like EWWW NO, learn to love yourself BITCH. We all know she did one of the best lip synchs ever. 50. Stacy Layne Matthews: Wait shes NOT black?!??? She was from BACK SWAMP, that gets TREMENDOUS "SWAMP CRED" She was so fat her hormones were just like "WHATEVER.. theres simply "NOT ENOUGH of us to go around?! WE DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO.. What do you wanna be today??? When was the last time youve seen your genitals because are you SURE youre still a male?? We dont know and could use some DIRECTION?!” and I appreciate that. I like people who are just like IM WHATEVER. Not everyone has to be a male or a female you know. 49. Jade Jolie: Jade is surprisingly the fishiest queen in my opinion. I saw her at the premiere party before her season started and we honestly thought she might be BIOLOGICAL. This holds some cache in an art of trying to be a woman at least SOMEWHAT. She made the unfortunate mistake of becoming Alyssas ENEMY which at the time was ACTUALLY kinda necessary because if you remember when Alyssa first started she was not the Alyssa we know and love and was kinda of a cunt who needed to get CLOCKED. BACK ROLLS has now been mutters a million times by ME ALONE and lets be honest WERE ALL now VERY CONSCIOUS of our back rolls now. I even got COOL SCULPTING and yes it worked. It works if youre like semi normal with a slight love handle or backroll but not if you have a spare tire because then its just like removing a brick from a wall, and no it didnt hurt, but get it done in Florida because procedures are cheaper there. Florida is basically LAWLESS, they also gave me a VITAMIN DRIP as I did it. That is not legal in NYC. Jade had horrible style and made what looked like NAZI MATRIX PORN but dont imagine that in a good sorta Night Porter chic Nazi way. Imagine it as a black vinyl raincoat that that greasy haired kid in high school who wasnt allowed to be a faggot because you already had that role and did it better so he sorta segued into FETISH GOTH would have and now imagine him filming himself masturbating with a NON APPLE iPhone to a Marilyn Mason poster… That was her porn. 48. Sonique: Sonique is responsible for one of the wisest self realizations to ever surface on RPDR to me. After getting the chop she said something along the lines of “Well I guess theres more to life than being better than everyone.” YUP. Stop competing, life isnt a competition. You do you and thats your challenge, forget about everyone elses storyline. 47. Mystique Summers Madison: DANGEROUS PERSON but such good TV. To me it seems Mystique has the kind of tongue that can only tell lies, which is sad because that means she thinks whatever the truth is is so terrible she has to come up with an alternative. Thats unfortunate. That said I dont want her in my home. If she lies to herself and others this means she feels she doesnt have to play by the rules and probably steals. Did I just imagine her a thief? Yes, I did. I imagined her at a party at my house slipping one of my Versace candy dishes in her pocket WITH THE SOUR PATCH KIDS STILL IN IT. 46. Gia Gunn: Gia to me really is the sorta line between the queens you care about and the queens you take the opportunity to go get a drink while they come on stage. I took my two assistants on that Drag Cruise as a present and I cant remember what exactly happened but somebodies sneakers were TEMPORARILY ABDUCTED and Gia was UNNFUCKED and SURLY ABOUT IT. Gia on the show was half gross and half awesome. I feel shed LIKE to be nice but has so much DEFENSIVE ANGER she can't. Its a mistake as shed be much more successful if she got over that. She really feels herself despite having a wonky eye, really short legs, and likening herself to Talapia and aligning herself to TIM GUNN??? Your fashion references are from TV????!… OH GURL… NO!.… I like her though. Shes a talented performer. I feel like Gia is that friend you have thats sorta like a bad dog on leash. You have to be careful with them when around kind people but theyre also helpful because theyre more than eager to be the bad guy if someone is bugging you. We all have that friend and theyre kinda fierce. 45. Mariah. Mariah walked into the room first episode and I thought DAMN shes FIERCE... and then she never looked that good again. If I was just going by tv, which Im 98% going by shed be placed lower BUT I saw her on that drag cruise and her performance was PERFECT. It was CLASSIC DRAG but executed flawlessly and she was nice when we got stuck in the elevator with her. I feel like she thinks she has to be mean or fierce or whatever when shed actually be more well received if she was the person I saw on the cruise who was down to Earth and chill. 44. Milan: Milan is one of the few New York Queens that Ive ACTUALLY SEEN OUT. These other queens im always like NEW YORK? NEW YORK WHERE?!? Im a third generation new Yorker who has lived here 18 years on my own and Ive never seen most of these queens who claim to be from NYC. Milan is nice and a talented performer. I was never into her drag because shes real STAGE oriented and real JULIARD STYLE ( I dunno if she actually went there) and thats just not my interest but she at least TRIED. 43. Dax ExclamationPoint: I feel Dax sorta made a mistake pigeon holing herself as “Queen of the nerds”, as soon as someone claims identity of something on camera queens for some reason HATE IT. I imagine its some kind of projected self loathing as gays are trained to hate themselves. Like how dare YOU assert yourself as something, you CANT do that youre a faggot. I seriously think this is the unconscious voice in 98 percent of gay guys heads and its why so many are self sabotaging or drug addicts and why there is no such thing as a gay gay icon and even kinda why DRAG EXISTS AT ALL. We cant like ourselves because straight society taught us to hate ourselves so we put it all onto a fantastic woman. Dax seems like a nice person who doesnt have that insane person need to “win” and therefore really shouldnt have been on the show as she just got used as sacrifice for hungrier queens. 42. Kennedy Davenport: Wait did I already do Kennedy Davenport because I really didnt like her??? huh I guess I didnt. Well maybe my unconscious mind liked her more than my reptile ego did and she got placed higher than anticipated. How can you hate on a hard working talent who has a retarded sister she has to support?! Jesus christ give the bitch a tip and never do less than a FIVE when tipping queens people A DOLLAR IS THE SAME THING AS A QUARTER! 41. India Ferrah: Oh god I worry saying mean things about India because I dont want to hurt her feelings as worry that she TEETERS ON SANITY but she to me is what drag is WHEN I DONT LIKE DRAG. Her “combat contour” is brutalist to the point of being vulgar. To me her styling concept is PUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN ON NOW BECAUSE MAYBE WE NEED TO RUN OUT THE DOOR AFTERWARD. I mean its the 8 foot braid with a giant bow, and the top hat, and the body stocking, and the thigh high boot, and the breast plate, now a giant necklace to cover the edge of the fake boobs, now put a spider SUCKLING THE TIT of the breastplate, oh wait I have TWO BOOBS and I NEED ANOTHER SPIDER, now add a couple jewels to the eyes of the spider OH WAIT spiders have six eyes so add four more… now what about belts, I only have TWELVE…. 40. Mimi Imfurst: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! She fucking CAPTURED India ferrah like some kind of MOUNTAIN TROLL?!?!? That was one of the most amazingly insane moments on TV ever! Then when Raven WENT IN on her in All Stars …omg I have that segment saved on my phone and just watch it when I need to feel “myself” again. Mimi on the cruise actually did the best read on the Michelle Visage roast. Shes smart but lets her inner voices get the best of her. We all have inner voices but I feel chubby people are chubby because the voices are louder. Im not even saying it to be a dick but it seems like with people who suffer from body issues LIKE ME the inner voices are so LOUD you can see them reacting to them on their face. Hang around me long enough and you'll totally see this. This is called being a function insane person! 39. Morgan McMichaels: Ahhh the Morgan McMonkey! Did you know shes actually Scottish, like from Scotland? That didnt come off on the show. Ok Morgan to me is interesting because as a person Morgan is just not my kinda person, she even has a SUPERMAN TATTOO and you know how much I hate Superman as to me he is the OPPOSITE OF CREATIVITY and a HERO TO SHEEP but that does NOT discount her talents. Ive seen her perform live and shes VERY good. Do I want to hang with her NO, is she a solid talent YES. I met her once and she tried to tell me she doesnt eat pork because PIGS DONT HAVE KIDNEYS. She said this while chain smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily… hmmmm. I dont even know how to organize the judgements I have. All this said I feel if Morgan was your friend you could trust her and shed definitely not be afraid of taking a hit to defend you. 38. April Carrion: She is the best example of being chopped too soon. Shes very talented and pretty and makes her own looks and I respect her abilities. She had more to offer as Ive seen other looks of hers and they were good. Too much of a shrinking violet to survive a comepetition. Shes quite lovely Im surprised she hasnt got some rich old benefactor. 37. Nicole Paige Brooks Oh my fuckin god Nicole Paige Brooks?!?!? Nicole is so important as she is SO MANY THINGS. Nicole is the ESSENCE OF REGIONAL TALENT. She is THE small town coke head faggot drag queen WE ALL KNOW. My mom would have had her on PROBATION. The spirit that has possessed Nicoles body is an ancient spirit which haunts every rural gay bar! Remember how she had the hots for Raven and also had FRECH TIP TOENAILS?!…That BODY built EXCLUSIVELY by COCAINE. Ugh.. Ive never even seen Nicole but I know her sooo well. Nicole has that IVE BEEN TO PRISON and ALSO HAVE CHILDREN and ALSO HAVE A CLOSETED BLACK BOYFRIEND vibe that is SO PURE. Nicole is the queen who marches in the regional gay pride parade wearing flat sandals and a bikini and ACCEPTS TIPS while she does it! Nicole might also work at BEST BUY when “O.D” (out of drag). and when in drag theres also the worry that she might ACTUALLY O.D. Nicole is important. 36. Carmen Carrera: Ok Carmen is from Jersey where its NOT EASY to be a gay soul. Carmen once tried to tell me its ok that straight guys call you a faggot there because its not an isult its just what you are… EEEESSSSHKKK That is some HARDCORE Stockholm Syndrome. I could say more but its none of my damn business. Im not crazy about Carmen because I think shes made some choices based on where shes from but thats none of my damn business so I’ll shut the fuck up. To me Carmen is an example of an unfortunate situation. Ive had to deal with those hardened Jersey boys as a kid and as a tender gay boy its NOT A NICE THING and it would have been easier for me if I was just a girl too. Yes shes pretty, I wish her happiness. If I was raised where she was maybe I would have killed myself. In a way she sorta did I guess but also rebirthed herself.. maybe I need to give her more credit. Im going to add this. Most of us have to deal with being a "faggot" in a straight world and deal with it however we choose. I for example fetishisize it as for me its a safe place thats at least exciting as its FIERCE to have your hot husband call you a faggot as he bangs your puss hole out. At least that way youre dealing with the anxiety in a safe place and its HOT its also a lot easier than getting a sex change, pretending it never happened, and siding with your abusers in an effort to make the best of a bad situation. Maybe Ive made the wrong choice, see instead of siding with them and changing my sex I went punk and just write horrible things about them on St Patricks day and work out a lot so I can intimidate them on the street. SIDENOTE I have NEVER had someone make an anti gay comment to me when they're by themselves, have you ever noticed that? The comments are only made when youre out numbered... fuckin pussies. 35. Jiggly Caliente: Jiggly is real. 34. Victoria "Porkchop” Parker: Porkchop must be worshipped as she was sacrificed for all our sins. 32. Ivy Winters: Nobody ever put it together that Ivy Winters looks almost identical to Grace Jones AND Jean Kasem. That is POWERFUL MAGIC. Too bad she didnt know it either because if she channeled that spirit she could have won this thing so damn easy. 31. Pearl: 31. Tatiana: The day Tati steps away from low brow nineties references and learns to kick is the day Tati advances much farther. She NEVER uses her legs and her legs are AMAZING?! I wish she woulda had the self confidence to get tougher on Raven when Raven attacked her on her season because it was so clear that Raven was operating out of total jealousy being both have great beauty but for Tati it was effortless and for Raven its four hours of incredibly skilled painting. Tati was too green to have that wisdom. If she had it…ooooohhhhh it woulda been FUHEEEEIRCE! 30. Laganja Estranja: Oh god… I dont have the mental capacity at this point to go into the psyche of Laganja…Laganja is so important. Laganja is the litmus for bad faggotry because shes ACTUALLY TALENTED, shes got an amazing body, but OH GOD shes a nightmare. You can tell her parents felt guilty and coddled and spoiled their baby gay into a place where the only way she now knows how to operate is to be a needy indulged victim. Her comedy routine with the old people was a SURREALIST MASTER PIECE. Get off drugs laganja, they dont make you cool and needing the crutch of a vice does not a personality make. 29: Jinkx Monsoon: Does anyone else remember how bad she was at the beginning of her season??? She got the ONLY edit and they spun her into a storyline where theres was no way she could loose. Ive seen this storyline somewhere and it was called PRETTY IN PINK. They basically realized she both Molly Ringwalds character AND the Ducky character at the same time and spun a storyline for her to win because they hadnt a queen like her yet. She is talented, not my kinda talent but whatevs, to me shes the MACARONI ART of drag. She woulda been my friend first year of art school but then you have to change schools because you find out she has a crush thats a touch much on you and its weird because you thought you were just good friends. 28. Tyra Sanchez: In person I think Tyra might be the most beautiful of all the queens actually. You won't believe this but its true, she's a stunner. Too bad she just wants to be the best Beyonce, and not the best Tyra. Tyra, you be TYRA because Trinity K already does a waaaaaaaaay better Beyonce to be honest and youre actually so good on your own if you just owned YOURSELF youd be extraordinary. Its a shame she doesnt have the insight or desire to be HERSELF. Isnt that INSANE??? Its why nobody likes her, because SHE doesnt like her?! 27. Alexis Mateo: When you read her name do you also read it with a lisp? I do! Alexis is a sweet person whom I really appreciate and is also a victim of the pageant system. Pageant girls suffer from not fully grasping why the pageant system is bad. Ladies, we dont think YOU are bad, we think youre victims of a horrible oppressive system that wishes to put women into a structure of something like a DOG show. THIS IS DEGRADING NOT ONLY TO YOU BUT TO ALL FEMALES. It attempts to organize the female sex into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL based on the values of MEN and thats FUCKED UP. To organize females into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL is HORRIBLE and ROTTEN. It DEVALUES any ability that men might see as something THEY have to deal with and DENIES ABILITIES and STRENGTH to women creating an oppressive structure for females to operate in. Its GROSS, dont buy into it, its not cool! 26. Shannel: I know you dont agree but Shannel is important. Shannel wears VON DUTCH HATS. Shannels best friend is the WHISPERING FACE in the mirror that tells her to believe insane things. Shannel has THE BEST EYES of all contestants. Shannel belongs to a mentally ill race of people known as SHOW FOLK. Shannel thought JUGGLING while walking down the runway would be IMPRESSIVE. Shannel paid FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for that garment and Shannel paid TOO MUCH. Shannel WAS NOT ELIMINATED... SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE!….. Shannel is important. OK the TOP TWENTY FIVE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. These are the APEX PREDATORS!!! Have you noticed as the list has gone on the comments have gone from VENOMOUS and PUNISHING to RESPECTFUL ACCOLADE and thats because as the list goes the talent increases and Im grateful that these people are inspiring, not wasting my time, and are championing values that need to be championed! When I typed this I just got so excited I moved my ENTIRE BODY on top of my little clear desk chair and Im sitting here typing like a GARGOYLE! Every single one of these queens are a WINNER and I mean that. Im not just saying this shit, each one of these queens is a SOLID ARCHETYPE and depending on your own values you could place most of them in the top five and have a SOLID ARGUMENT. This list however is MY opinion and MY VALUES so this is much more about ME than THEM of course. Honestly every single queen on this entire list is a talent and deserves respect for making the effort!... yes even Phi-phi. To be in the top twenty five however means you can STAND YOUR GROUND AND OWN YOUR OWN CROWN. Remember this is MY list. Youll understand reading this list I value creativity and HEIGHT more than anything. Being fishy doesnt count for much to me and if youre dumb and dishonest it aint gonna work out…. Here are THE MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS OF RUPAULS DRAG RACE!!! 25. Jessica Wild: AHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAH How the FUCK did Jessica Wild make the top list?! FUCK YES MISS JESSICA you MADE IT!! Ahahah this is WONDERFUl. I secretly admit I LOVE Jessica. Ill go so far to say shes almost like a KINDER EN ESPAñOL version of Alyssa! Jessica live is FUN and shes VERY KIND. I met her and she was a doll. Jessica is GOOD VIBES. I can totally hang with Jessy. Is she creative? NOPE. Is she Edgy? NOPE. Is she fierce… actually she kinda is???!. Shes a good person who you can tell HONESTLY LOVES DRAG and has fun doing it and THAT is why she made top 25! Shes a pure soul who enjoys what she does and that its the SPIRIT and HONESTY rarely found on EARTH! 24. Max: Max CLEARLY is really into Kristen Mcnemany. Max served us upper middle class white privilege. She was NOT bound by the oppressive low class moral standards of gender and sexuality! Max allowed herself to be flat chested and have GREY hair and this says IM WEALTHY AND EDUCATED ENOUGH NOT TO HAVE TO PLAY BY A MANS RULES AND BE A BIMBO YOU POOR PEOPLE?! Max was well read and Max is probably the most well travelled person in the semi mid west sorta shitty small to medium sized city in which I imagine she is from NEXT TO HER SISTER that was in THE PEACE CORPS (I imagine). I bet Max went to a college that was previously ONLY FOR GIRLS. Off the show Max really gave some fantastic editorial moments. I appreciated Max, she was refreshing. 23. Naomi Smalls: The Praying Mantis of drag! Naomis skeleton is the best of all the girls and thats why shes here. TALL and THIN is SO IMPORTANT. She actually was a nice person and very creative too. I don't like how people discounted her, she was far more creative than most of these people. 22. Milk: Milk is kinda like Max but not as annoying as a person and more “boy aware". Like I imagine sitting on train with Max might be tedious as her affectations are what got her chopped, and Milk though shes a touch WASPY for my tastes is actually cool and smart and you could share and laugh with her. Milk was MY club name in the 90s so thats interesting as were both tall white people I guess that name just gets handed to you. Milk is sorta the Sandra Bernhardt of RPDR to me but maybe its just the STRONG NOSE. I liked Milks Pinnochio A LOT but if I remember correctly she used the same wig or a pair of shoes a few times and that DOES get a deduction. She was REAL "I have a mom who went to college and shes tall and for my birthday she bought me an AFGHAN (the dog)." . SMART WHITE PEOPLE LIFE… basically everyone I went to college with. 21. Joslyn Fox: Jossy Fox is not trying to be anything she isnt and that is her refreshing appeal. Jossy shops at Tj Maxx and has lunch at Panera because she used to work there and still gets a discount because her fag hag never left despite making a lot of lateral moves that took her nowhere. If I had kids Id hire Jossy to babysit them. Jossy asked to have my husband visit her at her dining table on the drag cruise, BUT NOT ME. 20. Willam: I really should have put Willam at a higher ranking place simply because shes a class act and one of the only queens whos never asked for a discount and buys my clothes. She is the one queen who decided to play by her own rules which sorta bit her in the ass ALMOST, but shes also one of the only queens who has her own career outside of RPDR. I like Willam, shes distant and calculating, but so am I. 19. Ongina: Ongina is important because shes the first one to show that to be successful on the show its not about your elaborately constructed artifice that you might THINK is what makes people like you, but about the REAL YOU you fear to show others that is what makes people like you and this TEENY BEING had the balls to do it. Ongina is all about the live performance as shes a total charmer. She can dance in the palm of your hand and sleeps in a walnut shell at night. Her charm is her human connection that you dont get from most performers and you can't really get from TV. 18. Manila Luzon: Manilla gives the best costumes in drag styling. Her puppet faces are great, but ONE TIME USE, so shes a little for the kiddies and straight people who only see her once and dont follow drag so thats why she isnt higher for me. Remember if youre top 25 youre iconic! Im just organizing MY VALUES here so its not about these queens abilities but more about MY PERSONAL AGENDA and how I would ORGANIZE WORLD VALUES should I be given the chance…. (echoing Skeletor laugh) 17. Latrice Royale: Latrice is the spirit of America. If you dont like Latrice YOU ARE ISIS. Watch her performance at the season finale where Violet wins, its sooo darn good. Id love to put her farther up but I cant because she only wears THE SAME PAIR OF SHOES with every look. Lady… lay out some coins stop “living poor”. The moment you spend the dough to move yourself forward YOU ACTUALLY MOVE FORWARD. Stop living in a world where you cant afford shoes, break out of that mindset where youre worried to spend a little cash because you might not have it. LIVE RICHLY…YOU CAN AFFORD SHOES. That said remember CREDIT IS NOT CASH BITCH, do NOT use a credit card pretend you have the fantasy of the security of wealth, but I KNOW you at least have 49.99 for a plus size pair of PLEASERS! 16. Katya. The first time I saw Katya I thought TOTAL FORMER COKE HEAD... and I was right. Thats not a read its just the vibes. I think shes very smart and funny and her finale “read ya” was the best of al of them BUT she got a TOTAL SWEETHEART EDIT BECAUSE ALASKA WAS SLAUGHTERING EVERYONE so they needed to make it seem at least a LITTLE like a competition (though detox was like on another level) but I REALLY dont like that FORCED self deprecation and FAKE NICE LAUGH she gives people ESPECIALLY Trixie.. Stop GIFTING her that reaction, we all see right through it! It comes off like less of a laugh and more of an APOLOGY for existing and you dont need to do it youre fierce, just stop. Before you get too big a head though I have to be a good person and let you know your finale look on All Stars was the THIRD worst look ever to go down the runway behind Serena and Cynthia. Don't believe me???.. check out the hemline. 15 Jujubee: Out of all the queens I think if I had to spend an extended period of time with them Id choose Juju. Shes smart and funny and hopefully that would give me the opportunity to teach her about STYLING because she needs some help. Damn your looks are CHEAP woman. They sell Vogue at the GROCERY STORE!? Im not even asking for the far superior Italian Vogue, Im just saying SHITTY COMMERCIAL GROCERY STORE FASHION MAGAZINE VOGUE. Pick it up and then look at your clothes and figure out the difference. I actually think Juju might be the funniest queen even over Bianca. Shes certainly one of the smartest, and dont forget her library reading was really good. 14. Trinity K. Bonet: I imagine youre suprised at Trinity ranking so high up. Trinity is something I respect.. QUIET CONFIDENCE. Trinity was too damn well mannered to get as far as she should have in the competition and the reason why is Trinity K is the personality type I really respect who is someone who is QUIET and TALENTED. She lets her talents do the talking and unfortunately for good tv you cant just sit there and wait to slay on the runway, you have to have provide soundbytes and dramtic facial gestures for gifs etc. Trinity respectfully minded her own damn business and let her abilities do the talking and I REALLY like that. I went on that nightmarish drag cruise and hands down the best performance was Trinity it was about a ten minute Beyonce number and it was BETTER than Beyonce. It was FANTASTIC and im not even a Beyonce fan. I also think shes very beautiful and has a total Angela Basset quality to her which Im charmed by. Trinity was well mannered and polite and I kinda wanted to be her friend because someone like that benefits from someone like me who isnt afraid to maybe NOT be so polite should the rare occasion call for it. I guess Bianca kinda saw that too. I kinda think for some weird reason Im sweet on her because Tina Turner was my first concert at 8 years old, which I won the tickets to answering Tina Turner Triva on the radio, and that remeinds me of my mom who I went to the concert with and so therefor I want to protect this “good woman”. 13. Nina Flowers: Speaking of good women the next is Nina Flowers. I have NEVER heard ONE person say ONE bad thing about Nina and the multiple times Ive met her she is KIND AND LOVELY. Nina endured that entire CONFLAMA of SEASON 1 and DIDNT EVEN GET THE PALTRY 10k she deserved?! THEN Nina got CURSED with being paired with RAVING MAD WOMAN TAMMIE BROWN and ROLLED WITH IT without complaint. In fact if you watch All Stars 1 instead of complaining Nina handles her like a loving mother who has a RETARDED CHILD who YELLS A LOT. Speaking of YELLING RETARDED PEOPLE one time my husband and I were in Miami and we bought BAD PILLS (is there any other kind in Miami) and were TWACKED OUT ASSHOLES and ran into her and we COULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP and she was SO TOLERANT, AND SO NICE, AND SO UNBOTHERED that we almost wondered if we PASSED FOR SANE. Looking back WE DID NOT, Nina was just really nice. Nina is also a great Dj who really gets that CUNT FACTOR and makes for a great night out. 12 Miss Fame: Drag being an art form that relies so heavily on the magic of transformation being the best make up artist of all the queens certainly gets you TOP THREE placement. Too bad Miss Fame is the SECOND BEST MAKE UP ARTIST of Rupauls drag race. If this was a BIOLOGICAL female make-up challenge Fame would be the best, but DRAG MAKE UP is a VERY different art form. Fame had fantastic looks and a greatly appreciate her. I just wish the brains matched the visuals because theyre SO sharp. She really is the Linda of RPDR. Linda was my SECOND choice of the Supermodels, my first was Nadja so you can see where Im coming from. To me alien proportions and snowgress fantasies trump “classic fashion perfection”. 11. Chi Chi DeVayne : Chi Chi Devayne is THE SPIRIT OF DRAG. Chi chi is POOR AS FUCK and still managed to teach herself how to do BACKFLIPS IN HEELS. THERE IS NO REASON FOR ALL OF US NOT TO BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME BUT WE CANNOT! She is THE DRAG ASSASSIN. I respect her SO much. Imagine if she was given the same opportunities any of us in the North East of the United States were given?! When I was a little kid I wasnt rich either but I feel in North Eastern America you can receive a great education and you dont have to be wealthy at all. A good education is just kind of built into the psyche just like our PURITANICAL JUDGEMENT. I mean as a kid I grew up in a tiny single parent home next to a pond and it certainly wasnt GLAMOROUS but if I felt like it my 8 year old self could wander over to the neighbors house which was basically THE ADDAMS FAMILY MANSION to me which belonged to the professor who established the local community college and Id just sit there in his living room while he and his wife watched JULIA CHILD Id point at the random objects hed collected from around the world and ask “Whats that?!” and hed reply “That is a TURKISH BULLWHIP!” FIERCE?! ..with that information alone not only did I learn of exotic locations I never heard of I knew I TOO wanted to go there AND had the ability too. Something tells me being from Louisianna Chi Chi didnt have the opportunity to learn how to cook LONDON BROIL (I still remember Julia saying “Ooh this roast is SPITTING at me) while sitting in the dark at a baby grand piano while a Grandfather clock gonged in the background like these people did. It would be VERY EASY to be an angry bitter person coming from her situation and instead Chi Chi took it upon herself to excel to the best of her abilities and BOY HAS SHE. I feel Chi Chi was THE BEST when it came to Lipsynch for your life. All she needs is 12 months, a handful of those McDonalds gift certificates you got at Halloween, a stack of VHS tapes of STYLE with ELSA KLENSCH, 6 National Geographic magazines, and everyone dies. Chi Chi is FIERCE. 10 Chad Michaels: Being the number one Cher impersonator in the world gets you top ten placement forever. Its not debatable its DRAG LAW. 9.Tammie Brown: Tammie Brown is an UNCONTROLLABLE FORCE OF NATURE. Tammy is the SWIRLING POWER OF CHAOS. GRAVITY DECIDES TO LEAVE WHEN TAMMIE IS AROUND! Tammies superpower is that she holds no power unto her own but EVERYONE ELSES POWERS ARE RENDERED USELESS WHEN SHE WALKS IN THE ROOM. NO QUEEN has any power over Tammie and for THAT ALONE she gets top ten placement. Have you ever seen those crazy cat videos of cats reacting to people who throw a cucumber on the ground? If you havent, check them out, but in a nut shell cats are for some reason TOTALLY FREAKED OUT by a cucumber sitting on the ground. They go from acting relatively sane to COMPLETELY BIZARRE at the toss of a cucumber... well TAMMY IS THAT CUCUMBER. 8. Bianca Del Rio: Bianca is a hard working professional and a talent and Im glad we have her on “our” side as I cant think of any straight comedian who could beat her in a "read off". She doesnt particularly check any of my boxes as what she is Im not super into but you cant deny her abilities. Shes the sharpest tack. My friend Bradford hired her for a dinner and it was fine and fun and all and as she was walking out the door my NUMB NUT husband brings up “but what about the movie youre making?” this of course lead her to go on about how shes raising money etc so then BRADFORD THE ASSHOLE makes everyone say how much theyre going to donate to her film putting me on the spot to donate 500 dollars to the fucking crappy movie?! It was well shot but UGH LADY wheres the funny? I paid FIVE HUNDRED GOD DAMN DOLLARS FOR THAT MOVIE?!?! FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS….. FUCK.... thats TWO tickets to see CHER?!?!?!? 7.Sharon Needles: When Sharon first came out I BOUGHT IT, literally, I bought the t shirt which was secrelty packed as a GLITTER BOMB.. FUCKING CUNT…She really gave us hope and spoke to so many and was a creative and funny star. Shes a great talent who has done some amazing looks. Unfortunately shes become super sour and nasty and nobody wants to work with her and former fans are made uncomfortable to be around her. Sharon Needles is THE BEST DRAG QUEEN nobody wants to be around. 6. Violet Chachki: Im pretty sure Violet was trained by a SITH LORD or something. Shes CURIOUSLY YOUNG to be so professional and SO on point and just soooo good. God I hated the idiot RPDR fan base who talked shit about her simply because they couldnt relate to her because she was confident in her abilities. A wolf does NOT consult the sheep as to what to have for dinner!?! Im sorry but thats NOT something to make apologies for and its CERTAINLY not something you need to change. Nobody should have to dumb themselves down for the masses and Violet has not. She consistently DOMINATES THEM with her BITCH GODDESS self and Im SOOOO THANKFUL FOR THAT. This icy goddess holds the title for the number one AND number two AND number three best gowns on RPDR history. Dont go against Violet you WILL loose. 5. Alaska: Alaska broke all the rules by being HER OWN CREATURE. You cant pin down Alaska as one specific thing. Shes is an entity unto her own and that is so important to recognize. Shes also maybe the smartest queen of all of them. Her drag is a critique of drag itself which makes her a more evolved creature compared to “lesser” queens. Like all these top five shes really carved out PERSONALITY in her drag persona. Shes maybe made me laugh more than any other queen.The only “negative” I can think of is I dont like her interest in nails, seems like something India Ferra would be into. Its sorta weird that she named herself Alaska when the biggest gay icon in Spain and many other Spanish speaking nations is Alaska but shes from Pittsburg, not Madrid. 4. Alyssa Edwards: Oh fuck is Alyssa Edwards important! The DON KNOTSS of Drag Alyssa is sorta just like Texas from which she hails… BIG AND WEIRD THINKING AND despite being the essence of AMERICA its also ITS OWN ENTITY and by its own design is flawless and also VERY FLAWED! Remember when ALyssa first started and she was mean and people did not like her?! This is important to recognize because Alyssa HOOKED US with a very special chemistry of herself as a real person and this SWIRLY KOOKOO TOWN that her psyche exists in where shes the MAYOR, THE RICHEST LADY, THE NOSEY NEIGHBOR, AND THE BEAUTY QUEEN! Shes all those things and we get to see them all exist in every gesture. The gif of her negotiating a sip on an extra long straw was just as responsible for us falling in love with her as was her UNSELFAWARNESS (is that a word?) upon the HARD REVEAL of her BACKROLLS. Those lips and eyes are insanely MAGNETIC but all of it would be only half as magnetic if we didnt know what a LOOSEY GOOSEY she is?! You KNOW that Alyssa PERFORMS FOR NOBODY when shes by herself…. OFTEN. Alyssa I think is the only queen Ive ever hired and she got out of a cab by herself in FULL DRAG wearing like a TEDDY and a SHEER DRESSING GOWN and walked down the street in broad daylight asking my assistant if the MEXICAN RESTAURANT ON THE CORNER was where she was PERFORMING?!?! Alyssas personal styling is: “Dress, not particularly expensive shoe, AND PIECE OF THING ON HER HEAD- but NOT a complete thing on her head just a PART of something on her head! Its the VAGUE ALLUSION that this is part of MAYBE SOMETHING GREATER, or maybe shes been to SPAIN, or maybe she shoplifts at CLAIRES BOUTIQUE?! Alyssa is an America treasure! 3. Raven: Raven is JEALOUS BEAUTY. RAVEN IS EVERY FIERCE VILLAINESS THAT EVER EXISTED. Raven VERY EASILY could be my number one BUT IM LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF and Im not going to SIT HERE and WAIT to be loved by someone I adore as they DENY MY EXISTENCE simply because THEY THEMSELVES are incapable of being loved. I already DID THAT SHOW its called ME AND MY DAD and thanks but over a lifetime as a child I sat there on the couch waiting for him to show up, which he often DID NOT, as I hoped that MAGICALLY ONE DAY this person you adore is suddenly going to take interest in you. GUESS WHAT… IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!! I might love Raven but RAVEN CANT LOVE BACK and instead of being MAD (like I was for a lifetime with my own dad) Im going to recognize that I dont hate this person at all, in fact this VILLAIN is a HERO to me and though I wish theyd be capable of liking me back theyre NOT and THATS OK. Im not the bad guy for that, and neither is Raven, and neither is my dad. Its something they cant do and MAYBE someday they will and if so THATS GREAT but until then Im gonna love myself and put interest in people who reciprocate my feelings.This all may sound like I had some kind of ACTUAL relationsship with Raven WHICH I HAVE NOT but Ravens entire DRAG CONCEPT HER VERY DRAG BEING is that story line to me. The even more twisted part is we love Raven BECAUSE shes cruel?!?! I think shes TREMENDOUS! Raven is THE EVIL QUEEN from Snow White, shes Alexis from Dynasty, shes Katra from She-ra. Raven IS jealous beauty. Raven is a cruel and powerful goddess and I LIVE for her. We have tried SO MANY times to hire her and it falls on dead ears. Shes cannot be bothered. She needs to GET BOTHERED because the reason why shes not an All Star is because she cant be. I mean I think its really because shes had a couple DUIs and theres no way a liquor company was gonna give 100k to a person who has 2 DUIS but you know what I mean.... Raven is also THE BEST DRAG MAKEUP ARTIST. All these future queens stand on Ravens trompe l’oeil bone structure. Ravens one word comments on fashion photo Ruview make me HOWL. Ravens astute observations are as sharp as her nose contour. Raven has the teeniest room for evolution spiritually I think JUST A TEENY BIT, like DONT CHANGE, but MAYBE get a LITTLE kind and Raven will be my number one and OH GOD I want her to be number one SO BAD. 2. Raja. Ok, now Im back to sitting on my tiny clear desk chair like a Gargoyle because its THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS?!!?!? VERY SIMPLY without Raja Rupauls Drag Race would be MEXICAN TELEVISION! The show would be an FAR less elevated and be a GOOPEY SUNDAE of WIGS AND BOOBS AND WELL WORN DRESSES THAT SMELL LIKE B.O and ANGEL! Raja brings in references that lift the entire competition UP. Alyssa is Cosmopolitan but Raja is ITALIAN VOGUE AND NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. Shes still the best runway walker of all the queens which is like MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING. In her single season she gave us gold robot, amazon tribes person, Marie Antoinette, and when she walked in first episode it was the most obvious time someone was CLEARLY the winner from MINUTE ONE. Raja is the PUBLIC TELEVISION OF DRAG RACE! A FUNDAMENTAL NECESSITY to the CLASS LEVEL of Rupauls Drag Race and without her the floor would drop out. LETS IMAGINE AN AFRICAN WATERING HOLE with baboons squeeling, zebras making their weirdo sounds that you would never expect to come from a horse, hippos eating, hyenas laughing and all of a sudden the GIRAFFE enters the scene and everyone SHUTS UP AND STARES… Well RAJA IS THAT GIRAFFE... and yes Shangela and Yarra Sofia are the babbons. We need LESS BABOONS and MORE GIRAFFES. If I HAD to make a negative critque Id say Id just like to see LESS POT and WINE references on her facebook page because when I read that I think she might be mildly depressed and I dont want that from this creative talent whom I adore! 1. Detox. DETOX IS CHARISMA. Detox IS the MUGLER woman. Thierry Mugler is what saved me in college. Mugler is clearly what has saved Detox as well. The first time I saw Thierry Muglers work was at a newsstand in VALENCIA CALIFORNIA at CalArts and his robot suit was on the cover of STERN magazine and I grabbed it, and some suburban TWAT MOM shot me side eye because the robot suit shows nipple and of course she disapproved that because she was JUDGEY UNTRAVELED TRASH. I looked inside at his work and I thought I WANT TO BE WHERE THESE PEOPLE EXIST?!?!? I actually brought the magazine to my mentor and said "I NEED TO BE HERE." Well Detox takes me to that place! I can relate to Detox. Were really similar in many ways, both of us have tried to manefest that Mugler construct as best as possible and through ANY means necessary. If Raven is the Evil Queen from Disneys Snow White, Detox is Maleficent! Both are SO MAJOR how do you pick?! Well I will tell you how! Remember how in my Raven rant I was saying I was going to learn to love myself well putting Detox first is learning to love myself! Why?! Because Detox is the EVIL QUEEN who MAKES GOOD. When Alvaro offered to pay both Detox and Raven to send me a little happy 40th birthday message Raven didnt respond, and DETOX DID and REFUSED TO TAKE MONEY. You know when Skeletor feels the spirit of Christmas in the Heman Christmas special?? Well SKELETOR DETOX. Shes the VILLAIN we all love with A HEART thats open to be loved. Detox is the DAD WHO SHOWS UP. Detox takes great measures to embody the values that mean so much to me. Its actually HARD to be this GOOD. She is SOFT AS NAILS but you still wanna FUCK HER?! She had TREMENDOUS sex appeal without being soft, amazing style without being trend driven, and shes a bitch goddess without being bitter. Detox is number one, Detox is the good mommy.

#http://68.media.tumblr.com/31be4088acc09a767fc6b9ede93c39d7/tumblr_o3yo53Utm01tezl7yo2_500.gif

62 notes · View notes

ts-indonesia · 5 years

Text

TRENT’S RESPONSES

Michael:

I am the sole survivor because I came into this season ready to play the game. I have played this game since Day 1. I have been in alliances and made moves to guarantee that I would be at the end of this game. I was on two minorities (3 if you count the final 5 as still vets vs newbies) and I survived all of them due to relationships I formed, and moves I made. You were on the calls when I came up with and shared these plans and moves. For example, when we blindsided Owen. You were there when I pitched the idea to blindside him but use Stoner as the decoy target, for fear of idols. It was this plan that we used over and over for the rest of the game. Even after I found the idol (the morning after Owen was voted out) and I figured out how to read the torches, I continued to let our fear and paranoia of idols exist because it made us 5 Nuchaya work closely and trust each other.

Owen:

I’m going to start by answering your last question first, because I feel like there are some misunderstandings about Jess’s and I’s relationship. Jess and I were not friends before this game. I knew of her, just like I knew of you, just like I knew of matt, etc, but I never once had a one on one conversation with her until she was an infiltrator in this game. Yes we had a connection through both being friends with Alyssa, but you and I shared that same connection. So this perceived notion that Jess and I were close friends and a tight duo before this game started is completely incorrect.

When in this game did you make a difficult decision?

The most difficult decision I had to make in this game was choosing between my newbie alliance or my Nuchaya alliance. I really enjoyed playing with the newbies, and I loved the story we had of starting on Day 2, getting split, all 5 of us surviving, and then coming back together. But once I saw how close Chris O was to you and Stoner (through him leaking Anabel’s desire of getting Stoner out) I knew I could no longer work with them. Once I realized that I knew I had to stick with Nuchaya. But voting out Lorelei as a result of that was an incredibly difficult decision because I enjoyed being with that group so much. You say that sticking with Jess was a foregone conclusion but it never truly was until I had to make a decision between the newbies or Nuchaya.

When in this game did you do something unexpected?

This is pretty much the same answers as above. I don’t think anybody in the newbie alliance expected me to turn on them. But in that moment of the game I had two separate paths I could take. And no matter which I took It was going to be unexpected by a group of people. After that move I had no reason to do something unexpected. I had a tight 5 that I could get to the final 5 and doing something else unexpected would have completely ruined my game.

What about this game was hard for you?

I’m not sure if you mean hard as in a difficult move I made, or like emotionally hard, so I’ll just answer both. The hardest move I made was right after the Lorelei vote. You messaged me immediately asking why I lied. I had to play this off like I was tricked and I didn’t really know what was going on in this game. I had to do this because I needed you to believe me for the next vote. Knowing you’ve played so many of these games and done very well at them, I was worried you would see right through it.

The most emotionally hard moment in this game was by far voting off Olivia. Throughout the season I truly have grown to respect her and her game. So emotionally it was truly heartbreaking to have to turn on a friend like that. Yes it was 100% the right game move, but that did not make doing it any easier.

were you always going to use that to be a tight duo?

I’m going to circle back around to this final part. I had two very tight duos in this game. One was with Jess and the other was with Anabel. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that these two are the other members of the final 3 with me. But no, I was not always going to stick with Jess until the end. Yes once I chose Nuchaya over the newbies I decided I wanted to go far with her, but if Olivia had won the final 4 immunity, I would have voted Jess out. I made a promise to Anabel night 1 that it was me and her until the end and I was going to stick to that promise.

Leigh:

I’m not sure if you want a reply from me or what, but thank you for not letting your opinion of me affect Mosby’s cuteness. She is a good girl. I hope your dogs are doing well.

Chris O:

Isaac- I never got to see much of isaac’s game. We were only on a tribe together for a couple days. His biggest mistake was the self vote when voting as the infiltrator. The self vote was a major reasoning in voting him out of the game.

Leigh- Leigh’s biggest mistake in the game was practically giving up after the Owen vote. She messaged people asking to vote her out and did not want to try anymore.

Lorelei- Lorelei, as she mentioned, played with her heart on her sleeve. She played incredibly emotionally. Which in itself is not a bad thing, it just made her incredibly easy to read.

Lorelei:

I’d pick Anabel. She played better socially, she was in a power alliance that got her to the end and she always voted strategically.

Issac:

Issac- Mr. Misunderstood- Eric Church- Personally I don’t know you well at all, and this song is about not knowing someone well.

Loreli- Friend Like Me- Robin Williams- Lorelei was a joy and has a bubbly personality that reminds me of a disney song

Owen- Shout- Isley Brothers- Owen is a great guy and fun to be around. Would be a joy to hang out with

Chris O- Nothing Suits me like a Suit- Neil Patrick Harris- Chris O is going to be a big wig at a bank one day because he is very smart and professional

Leigh- If you want to sing out, sing out- Cat Stevens- Leigh was always go with the flow and ok with everybody doing their own thing

Stoner- Young, Wild, & Free- Wiz Khalifa - Stoner has an incredibly chill personality. Here to have a good time

Michael- Till I Collapse- Eminem- Michael has a fighter's personality. Won’t give up and will do whatever it takes to be successful

Olivia- Mountains- Hans Zimmer- Olivia shares my love for movies, this is one of my favorite soundtracks because it is intense and incredible.

Chris S:

For your first question of why I continuously lied and didn’t tell you I didn’t want to work with you is because I didn't know if eventually this game would take an unexpected turn. I wanted to have you as an option in case that did happen. If i would have told you early on I did not want to work with you, and then all of a sudden I found myself needing to work with you I feel like I would have gotten the response “Oh now you want to work with me”. So yes even though I continuously lied to you about the vote, I still wanted there to be a slight chance of us working together if I needed that for my game.

As for us never connecting socially, I feel like we were just on different routines. You would message me if I was at work or asleep, then a couple hours later I would reply, then a couple hours later you would reply, and back and forth. If you ever felt that the reason was personal, then I do apologize because I promise you that was not the case. As for your request here are three things I learned about you:

You've never seen a season of Big Brother

You have a girlfriend who is 21

You smoke medicinally for REDACTED (I don’t know if the reason is out in the open but I don’t want to say it if not, so if i need to pm you to prove it I can, with the hosts allowance of course, but i didn’t want to put it out there for everyone else to see.

But if that last one doesn’t count, heres another, you are not a math person

Olivia:

Isaac: Admittedly so, Isaac and I did not have a strong connection due to the face we were only on the same tribe for a few days. But I learned that he was a waiter and was taking a break from school. We also both enjoy outdoor activities like hiking

Lorelei: I learned that she wanted to do finance but decided not to because math isnt her strong suit. She majors in cognitive science at a university in Canada (don’t want to give the name in case she doesn’t want too many people to know), she used to work at a hospital. And she recently got her wisdom teeth taken out

Owen: I learned from Owen that he has a sister that lives in Michigan, but owen currently lives in Chicago where he goes to school to be an English teacher. He loves theater and I think planning on teaching that as well. He works at a public library but also does student teaching. He loves reading and we connected over enjoying Ready Player One

Chris O: Chris O started playing orgs when he was 10 years old! He loves reality tv and is watching amazing race, but has done casting calls for Big Brother and Survivor. He works as a bank teller. He has family that are packers and Broncos fans but its a huge football fan himself

Leigh: Two dogs Daisy and Ace, two guinea pigs named Alice and Lily, one cat named miley. She used to work at a doggy day care. Leigh also lives in Chicago. Shes only played Facebook orgs before this season. She has a boyfriend. She is in school online. She used to be a paralegal but now she is a receptionist at a cancer treatment facility. Her mom works in the same clinic

Matt: Matt and I bonded over watching the Big Brother Finale and Survivor premier together, which i really enjoyed and had a fun time doing. Matt has worked in the same place the last 3 years and works in the backroom. Hes also going to school and majoring in Media and film. He is a Giants fan. Also plays fantasy football.

Stoner: Already answered in his question so im just going to copy and paste it. You've never seen a season of Big Brother. You have a girlfriend who is 21. You smoke medicinally for REDACTED (I don’t know if the reason is out in the open but I don’t want to say it if not, so if i need to pm you to prove it I can, with the hosts allowance of course, but i didn’t want to put it out there for everyone else to see.. But if that last one doesn’t count, heres another, you are not a math person

Michael: Works in customer service as a retail assistant. Does not watch or play Big brother games. Has played previous orgs in minecraft. Plays D&D. Went to Melbourne recently for vacation. Recently broke his mic.

Olivia: Lives in California. Eagles Fan. Lost her mind when they won the superbowl. An art history major. Impression Sunrise by Monet is her favorite work of art. Loves lord of the rings, hosted a lord of the rings themed survivor. Loves every single season of survivor. Going to use her new tiki she made in ceramics as an urn for her upcoming org. Her dream job is to work as an art consultant on a tv show or movie to make sure the art is historically accurate.

Matt:

Before answering your questions Matt I’m once again going to say, Jess and I did not have a friendship before this game. Yes we had mutual friends, but Jess and I had never spoken until round 2 when she was an infiltrator. I just want to make sure everyone who brings its up, sees that this is the case. But now to your questions:

So when I say social gameplay I see it in two different ways. In one of the ways I do think it was strong, and in the other, I agree with the jury that I struggled. To me these two different versions of social gameplay are perceptions by the rest of the cast (during the season) and relationships with the rest of the cast. The reason I think I excelled in the perceptions category is because even though I would lie in a round, the people I lied to would still believe me the next round. I was good at explaining myself when caught in a lie or at least explain the reason I lied. I did this with Owen and Leigh after the very first merge vote. To me, lying is part of a social game. Without having at least a decent social game, people will not continuously believe your lies.

Though on the other side of the coin I did struggle. I had a hard time making deep relationships with people. I had a hard time opening up to everyone. I did struggle with putting the game on pause and just being Trent. But this is who I am as a person in real life and it bled into my game. In real life I am a quiet person, I do not open up to people, I am a thinker and an analyzer. So yes I will agree that I could have done a much better job at opening up and just being real with people.

Maybe it’s because I am a newbie, this is my first real survivor game, and I’m still relatively new at watching Survivor the show, but this is why I said I had a strong social game. Whether I had the wrong definition or was just looking at it from a different perspective, I'm not really sure, but I do hope this helps clears it up.

But to answer your specific question: One example of my social game lacking was with Stoner. Maybe it was just on my side, but we just felt off. I should have done a better job at reaching out and making an attempt to get to know him.

As for my favorite moment of the game, it was by far making merge and jury. When starting this game, I had just finished BB Pokemon Galar and honestly that game kinda left a bitter taste in my mouth about orgs. I missed jury by one round due to a power, and just felt kinda over with playing orgs. Ali convinced me to do this season and I was afraid the first half of the season this would happen again. I’d get close to my goal of jury but then get out at the last second. So when I did actually make merge it was just a sense of relief that I played decently well up to that point.

#whenyourfiresout

0 notes