#i just want to babble about our bs
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They have very similar lines of toughts.
Sol just wanted to introduce them to be a family.
#swag daniels#sol bufo#frey's art#this just funny#i've been talking a lot w a friend#swag and sol are my life#i know i keep namin' you frend#i just want to babble about our bs#but i dont wanna namedrop you cuz(?) idk in case you dont wanna be namedropped#just uploading the toughts i have been babling on our mp but in draw format#ducklycule#implicit but there
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Bit of a rant 🥲 mostly related to the work field and people's bs.
Anyone who says no one wants to work anymore SHUT THE FUCK UP. /not kindly.
I'm not even going to be touching on the fact that a lot of jobs aren't paying livable wages or that many people have to work multiple jobs just to still not make ends meet. I've seen many people touch on that multiple times.
What I am going to be throwing against the wall because I am so frustrated I might start crying as I'm desperately trying to figure out what a cover letter is and what I need to put on it that isn't already in my fucking resume AND to tailor it to the specific company I'm applying to JUST to use this specific cover ONCE for job that isn't even about office type work (I'm trying to apply to be a waiter. A waiter, and they're asking for the whole nineyards for me explain why I am suited for the position. A position that I genuinely LOVE to do. I utterly adore it.). I will also be touching on the process as well.
I am very much in the younger end of the spectrum of the work force. And the people I work with, work for, and serve on a day to day basis are all very much not.
A common thing I've had to hear people say CONTINIOUSLY is how kids don't want to work these days. How young adults don't want to work. No one wants to work. No one has any ambitions or work ethic. They don't care. How there are all these places desperately trying to fill positions but no one is applying. Because the young ones don't want to work. They're lazy. Want things handed to them.
These are all things that have been said to me, most of time with an added "You're different, you're so good, you're such a hard worker unlike *blah blah blah Ignorant babble and using the younger generation as a scape goat rather than looking at the shambles of our economy and how we got here in the first place with any sort of critical thought*".
And it pisses me off every time. I get livid over it. Obviously not to their face, I have a lot of repressed anger. This just adds to it.
Because not only is there the consistent issues that are common and I've heard talked about such as these jobs literally are not paying the bills.
But in my personal experience
Who. Who is desperately hiring?
Because it obviously isn't any of the places I've been spending my time desperately applying to.
Back in the beginning of the pandemic, we had spent MONTHS applying to DOZENS of places.
Not a single one of them got back to us.
We were pretty much ghosted. Never even got the rejection. Just silence.
The only reason why we were able to get a second job is because someone who was a friend of our parent's put in a word for us to a local restaurant that happened to be hiring. And we had that for a while.
And now we find ourselves in the EXACT same situation of we only have one part time now and desperately need another. Not just for bills but also because we are experiencing health problems that need to be taken care of but the insurance doesn't want to cover shit so it's going to be HUNDREDS of dollars out of pocket. And I can't have any of these appointments until we have another source of income.
So for almost the past two months, we have been applying to places and applying to places. Trying to find work that we could feasibly and realistically do as a disabled person.
I've been told about how the process used to work that was much more across the board than it is now. I've been told by older people in the workforce, people I work with, for, and serve that it used to be simpler. If a place was hiring, you would go in and say you were interested and pretty much hired on the spot.
Every job I've had so far has been like that. But I can't find any other places that do that. If I could, I would not be having the issues I am right now.
I have to go online. If there's a place with a hiring sign, we are usually always directed to "go apply online or text [blank] to [number]".
And then there's the online application. Sometimes there's meaningless questions that don't have anything to do with the jobs. I've had to do personality tests. Tailor and retailor the resume to fit more into the specific companies.
I've been studying relentless on how to perform and have been scripting for the interview process. Because in the interview process they basically just want us to give them our resume in a verbal format. And my responses have to be in what is considered a timely manner. Which is so immensely difficult for us because we have an absolute horrid delay in our processing. It's a major part of our disability, as is the fact that we have an immense issue with coming up with on-the-spot verbal responses. It's a mix of situational mutism and other speech and communication difficulties that come along with being autistic. So we have to put much more effort into preparing and trying to guess every possible thing that may come up.
I cannot tell you how much I hate the "tell me about a time when" questions. I would much rather just tell them how I would handle the situations they are asking for. Because of our amnesiac barriers, we have a limited amount of memories. And there aren't enough memories in the collective access for us to be able to answer these questions the way they want us to answer them. And not even to mention the fact that because we are on a the younger end of the work force spectrum, we havent had any of these experiences in the 6 years we've worked to be able to answer some of these scenarios.
So that's another thing I'm having to work on scripting.
And even then I feel like I'm having to partially lie in these responses because I don't have memories to answer the "tell me a time when". I'm having to make up scenarios so I can accurately answer what we would realistically do in these scenarios and that is the proper response they are looking for by asking a vague question that does not imply in the slightest what they are really asking. And I have to go over these again and again and again beforehand so that if I'm not the one fronting, at least a good enough portion of it made it into the collective memory access for which ever co-pilot is fronting to be able to float them along convincingly enough that we answered the question correctly and as accurately as possible.
And I have to put in all that effort just to STILL either not get a response and be left with no way of reaching out to check in OR do get a response of "we appreciate your interest, but we've selected someone else :)"
And now I'm trying to figure out what the fuck a cover letter is, write one out, and add it to the application for a local restaurant chain so I can finish the application.
A cover letter that is going to be used once. That, while may help with making my application stand out and may help convince them that I'm a good fit and I am exactly what they're looking for- ultimately still doesn't have anything to do with the job itself. It's a pointless addition and feels like busy work for a job that we still might not even get fucking hired for no matter how much I want to the job, am good at the job, need the job, am exactly what they're looking for, or how hard I work into trying to get the job.
And I have to rinse and repeat this same process CONSTANTLY. It's fucking exhausting.
So yeah. Every time I hear someone over the age of 45 say the phrase "no one wants to work anymore" with their whole chest, I very much do want to shove my foot up their ass.
And then there's the fact that I do take pride in my work. I pride myself over our reliability and our work ethic. When we have a job, we seek to fulfill that job out, do exceptional work. Do our best to commit to a successful outcome, to help our coworkers. Make sure they're also taken care of. Help in making ensuring a shift runs smoothly. And I am personally thrilled when a shift gets busy. I love the workload and the speed that ties in with our accuracy.
So when someone will look my in my eyes and try and imply that I'm simply just not trying hard enough. Yeah. Let's take this outside after my shift, bestie. Tell me about how I've never worked a day in my life and have no work ethic.
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Right, so I'm having some gnarly writers block BS so in an effort to tell that Evergiven-sized pain in the ass to go away I'm gonna post a snippet...a 1,144 word snippet...
Enjoy this interaction between Carmine and My OC!
Sarge leads Delta and Kid further into the tunnels, Carmine keeps at the back with Kid, like Sarge said to.
She keeps glancing at him from the corner of her eyes. He can’t quite read her expressions very well, her face is blank, almost like a statue. It makes him a little nervous.
And when he gets nervous, he babbles.
“So, um, like Baird said, I’m Carmine, but mostly Delta just calls me ‘rook’, but my actual name is Benjamin, or just Ben. My brothers call me ‘Squirt’ sometimes, but yeah, no one outside of them calls me that. Um.”
She’s looking at him fully now and he realizes she might not even be able to keep up with the torrent of words, shit, he’s an idiot.
“Sorry, sorry. That’s probably too much...sorry I’ll try not to talk so much.” He apologies.
She sort of, softens, a little, not holding her shoulders so tight, not so defensive.
“Is...okay.” She rasps. “Helps to listen...to remember...words.”
Oh, he’s helping! That makes him feel a lot better. But her voice is so rough, he doesn’t want her to keep talking if it hurts her.
“Does it hurt you? To talk?” He asks, concerned.
She touches a hand to her throat, almost like she needs to check if it hurts or not.
“Is...hard. Not hurt.” She assures him.
They keep walking. She keeps glancing around, always alert, eyes always moving, a lot like the older Gears do.
“Why many names?” She asks a moment later.
“Well, ‘Carmine’ is my family name, and Benjamin is, uh, my first name, like the name everyone calls me, except it’s long, so mostly it’s just Ben. Delta calls me ‘rook’ cause I’m the rookie, like, the newest member of the squad? And my brothers call me ‘Squirt’ because I’m the youngest of four, they don’t mean anything mean by it, but sometimes I wish they didn’t, you know? Um, did that make sense?” He asks.
She’s silent for a moment as they keep walking, and Ben worries that he’s overwhelmed her.
“I...understand.” she says eventually “What...do you want...to be called?” She asks.
Oh wow, that was like, a full sentence! The talking must be helping; he’s glad.
“I don’t really mind, in general. But, uh, you can call me ‘Ben’ if you want to!” He says.
“Ben.” She murmurs, like she’s memorizing it.
“Do you mind, being given a name, being called ‘Kid’?” He asks her.
She said it was okay, but maybe she just didn’t want to argue, or thought she didn’t have a choice.
“I don't...mind.” She replies after a minute. “Is not right name, but is better than...nothing.”
The way she says ‘nothing’ is heavy, more than just the word.
“What is Delta?” She asks.
He thinks she’s changing the subject, but he doesn’t mind. There’s probably a lot of things she’d rather not talk about.
“Delta is, us, basically. We’re a squad, we all stick together to get our mission done, so its easier to give all the squads a name, rather than call out people individually.”
She nods and makes a humming noise.
“Why, ah…” She pauses for a minute, then gives up and simply taps the side of her head, looking at him curiously. It takes him a second to figure out what she’s asking.
“Oh, why do I wear a helmet when no one else is?” He asks.
She nods, looking relieved to have overcome the stumbling block. He’s realizes he’s getting better at reading her expressions. Or is she just letting him see them more? He’s not sure.
“Well, we’re supposed to all wear them, for protection and stuff. But Delta is Sarge’s squad so what he says goes, I guess if I could take it off if I wanted to, but I...I just prefer it.” He tells her.
He’s not quite ready to talk about Anthony, not with a stranger, someone who never knew him. It’s actually kind of a relief, now that he thinks about it. Sometimes it feels like everyone knows, and has to ask about it.
“Sarge?” She asks, and, oh, of course, how’s she supposed to know that?
“’Sarge’ is uh, Marcus. That’s his rank, not really a name exactly…” He trails off, wondering if he should try and explain it. He’s not sure he can.
“Too many names.” She huffs, sounding frustrated and upset.
“Hey, it’s okay, you’re already doing great!” He goes to pat her on the shoulder automatically.
She flinches away. Oh shit, he didn’t mean to scare her!
“Sorry, sorry, I shouldn’t have done that!” He apologizes.
He’s an idiot, of course she doesn’t want to be touched suddenly!
“No. Not you.” She tells him, voice soft. “Arm is...hurt.”
“You’re hurt? We gotta tell Sarge!” He panics.
She can’t have gotten hurt between when they found her and now - They’ve only been talking and walking! She must have gotten hurt before…
He goes to run up to where Sarge and Dom are. She grabs his wrist, barely a touch, but it stops him in his tracks and he turns back to her, startled.
“Is old hurt.” She tells him. “Cannot help now.”
“Are you sure? Can I see, just to be sure?” He asks.
Maybe they can do something! She shouldn’t have to be hurt if something can be done about it.
She swallows nervously, shakes her head.
“Not...not now?” She pleads.
“If...if you’re sure there’s nothing we can do, I can’t make you.” He replies.
She nods, cautiously. They keep walking and he notices that she’s put distance between them. He thinks about it for a moment.
Everyone knows Locust are vicious, violent, fueled by their hatred of humans. Ben has seen it first hand. Being captured by them, helpless...
It makes him feel sick to even think about. He doesn’t think he could even imagine, even if he wanted to.
“I guess you haven’t been able to tell someone ‘no’ and have it matter for a long time, huh?” He asks.
She looks toward him, gives him a considering look. Shakes her head.
“It’s...It’s just words, I guess, but. I promise I won’t hurt you, okay? Unless you like, try and kill me or something…” He tells her.
She looks at him, and it weirdly feels like she’s staring into his eyes, even though the helmet. She steps back closer.
“Thank you, Ben. I promise, too.” She says, almost sounding shy.
He’s grinning behind the helmet, isn’t sure she can tell, but that’s okay. Kid trusts him!
He holds out his hand to her.
“Friends?” He asks.
She puts her hand in his, less a handshake and more a clasp.
“Friends.” She tells him.
He thinks he sees a tiny smile at the side of her mouth, hard to tell in the dimness of the Hollow, but that’s okay, he’ll take it.
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I was wondering about your take on Lesbian Jane?
I’ve been thinking about her a lot. Jane isn’t inherently a villainous character. She was raised to take on a position of power so it’s not surprising she seek that out in adulthood. But more the that, I think about how she was born in a time when certain things were expected of women. And how she may have internalized the idealism of husband and child due to that. In HS2 it’s clear she doesn’t have any true romantic feeling for Jake. And part of me wonders if she ever really did? Or if her infatuation with Jake English as a person was due to the fact that he was a “attractive boy”. After all, in HS2 she does marry him and they do have a child. Fitting what would have been seen as a perfect family construct in her original timeline. But she openly neglects both in favor of things she actually finds important. I know Gamzee exist. But I still wonder if her performative gender roles and inherent straightness isn’t all one in the same. I.e, BS. 
I’ve always been partial to lesbian Jane. I don’t think ‘gamzee’ is much of an argument against it if you’ve ever been in contact with actual lesbians; there’s women who spend decades of their lives putting work into a straight marriage that doesn’t truly satisfy them beyond the barest needs for companionship, but it is what they’ve been taught to accept and what they believe Everyone Else Feels. The human experience doesn’t work in a tight binary where you automatically know *what* is wrong with you. Sometimes the problem makes you believe it is actually a feature, and that it’s normal, and that you should just muscle through it no matter how shit it feels like. And that’s kind of Jane’s whole thing- Jane has Girlboss disease.
Like, “yeah, this all sucks, and it makes me feel like garbage, but I have Numbers, and i have Prizes, and I have Accomplishments, and I am a Strong Independent Woman, and that’s what everyone tells me SHOULD make me happy, so I guess this is what happiness feels like.” And she just doesn’t know when to stop. She’ll dig her own grave with a golden shovel if you leave her to it.
I think It’s interesting to note a few things when breaching this subject:
1) Nanna Egbert chose to be a single mom. It’s not that she’s a widow, is that she never pursued marriage. You can make a lot of fail arguments on this one like ‘oh but in the lore nannasprite section we learn that jane and jake had a marriage prophecy or whatever blah blah’ but Beta Jake avoids her for eternity and while Beta Jane found someone to have a son with, she didn’t make it any more than that. Instead, she built a practical jokes and pranks shop and ran it for as long as she was alive, because again, she’s a girlboss. A lot of lipservice about traditionalism on this one and very little actual effort put into fulfilling it.
2) Jane doesn’t actually “love” Jake. She’s infatuated with what he represents, which is a recurring theme in Homestuck. Be it about Terezi and her relationship with Alternian Law, or Dave and his coolguy schtick, or Jake and his flimsy adventure hero persona- characters have “expectations” and these come with a set of rules that must be fulfilled. Sometimes, these self-imposed challenges are more harmful to the character than they’re ever going to beneficial for their growth. It’s effectively like shooting themselves on the foot.
This is actually an ongoing thread during act 6, but not one that I see brought up a lot. Jane projects what she believes are desirable qualities about a man onto Jake, what she’s been taught is the norm and dreamy- but she has negative interest in who he actually is. If anything, Jane finds him tacky, annoying, weird, and unbearably boring. But she thinks she can ‘fix’ him into a model companion if she tries hard enough.
Jane “reinterprets” a lot about Jake as a person to make him more digestible. She does this deliberately, to pad out how little interest he seems to have into the whole thing, and also to depersonalize him enough that she doesn’t have to feel bad about not... actually liking him.
(worthy of note, her “two favorite dames” are married as of catnapped in HS2)
They’re friends, i’m not disputing that, but friendship doesn’t necessarily translate into “compatibility” or “romance”.
“Jake” as a concept in Jane’s glossary is interchangeable with “7th grade 1st place trophy on the national Spelling Bee championship”, and that’s where most of our issues come from. He’s an achievement to be crossed off from a checklist, on the road of becoming an Independent, Successful Businesswoman. At best he’s a status marker, at worst he’s a commodity. Jane didn’t come up with this by herself, though, these ideas are closely linked to HIC’s influence on her life and Jake’s. (It’s not for nothing that Crockertier Jane is the one to be most outspoken about it, or that Epilogues Jane is characterized as a Crockercorp-monster. None of this exists in a vacuum.) These ideals are part of her familial upbringing and corporate brainwashing, the endgoal of them being simulating the Condesce as closely as possible.
When HIC goes undercover as a Human Woman Of Earth, the figure she picks to represent her is a housewife. The fictional Betty Crocker is the apex of Girlbossery- and how can you be a housewife, in 20′s America, without a husband?
Jane is discouraged from being an “individual” and told what she needs to be is a suitable heiress, and that’s her own tragedy. (She has failed to consider wives can have other wives.)
I have babbled about Jane before, particularly when it comes to her also being trapped by gendered expectations she doesn’t want & being gender-nonconforming (a butch, if you will) here.
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she holds you captivated in her palm
chenford | post-4x01 | outside pov | title: suddenly i see // kt tunstall
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"Have you noticed anything between Tim and Lucy?" Angela asked, nodding at the two officers waiting on their coffee by the food truck.
Nyla stayed indifferent, her blank stare following the nod. "Should I care about their high tea endeavours?"
"C'mon!" she urged, always eager to meddle and stir the pot. She had been on leave for weeks and barely interacted with the officers now that she was a detective; plus, Tim was an asshole and never showed his hand. She wanted to be in the loop again. "There's a vibe, right? I feel like there's a vibe."
Nyla's gaze shifted to the woman for a beat. Quietly, she realised that this type of banter was meant for Jackson, that the man loved gossip and would gladly engage in such behaviour. Who likes who, who doesn't like who, all that. Though Nyla enjoyed dropping truth bombs, this wasn't her style. But Jackson died. She couldn't snag that pleasure away from Angela, too.
With a sigh, she looked back at the officers and observed. Only Tim's face was visible, chin tilted down as he listened to Lucy babble, her small frame moving animatedly. He looked amused, arms crossed and standing closer than he necessarily should; a position one took when interested, or intrigued, often seen with guys in pubs trying to flirt with girls.
Nyla's eyes narrowed alongside pursing her lips. "Hm."
"I know."
She hid behind her coffee cup. "I'm not trying to assume, but—"
Angela perked up. "Please, assume. Assume away. This is the best thing that happened in our division in months."
"I can't argue with that," agreed Nyla. "Which is sad."
"Nyla."
"Fine!" She set her cup down with a resolute thud. "You want my UC take? I think they both got a little too close to death numerous times, which ain't a party, and that bonded them. I don't think this is permanent though." Harper clicked her tongue, humoured. "I think it's puppy love."
Angela shook her head. "Tim and puppy love? I don't buy it."
"Tough."
"I know him longer than you, Harper," she reasoned, leaning into the other woman with a mischievous grin as Bradford and Chen finally received their cups. "He doesn't do casual. Just look at his relationship with Isabelle. I think he's into everything our cute, little Lucy Chenford has to offer."
When their footsteps approach, the two women break their gossip circle and face them with easy smiles, all trained in the art of concealing true emotions. Angela wondered why they hadn't done a poker night yet, while Nyla supressed a miserable sigh at the utter 'high school' feeling of it all. This was why she and Nolan got along — no BS.
"What're you guys talking about?" Lucy asked, no trace of suspicion in her tone as she sat down. Tim on the other hand, eyed them with a rather healthy dose of scrutiny.
A triumphant smile bloomed on Angela's cheeks, never one to back out. "Workplace romance. Do you think something's brewing in our division?"
Their brows simultaneously raised, Chen and Bradford flitting their eyes to each other for a beat before returning to Angela, shaking their heads in sync. Damn, this was funny.
"I don't think so," Lucy mused, then excitedly perking up and shifting closer. "Why? Have you noticed something?"
"I honest to God don't care," Tim deadpanned in his typical abrasive yet blasé attitude. Whatever. "Keep it off the clock, Angela."
"You're no fun," she retorted. Her focus swivelled back to Lucy. "I have noticed something. I think it's pretty obvious, but one half ot the couple is clearly too chicken to confess." Her smirk turned deviant. "What do you think, Tim?"
Their eyes locked and Angela knew for sure. Their friendship spanned over a decade, he stepped up to become her man of honour, they got each other's six no matter what. No secrets were hidden from her, even if she had to pry them from his clenched hands. Tim liked Lucy — damn it, he might even love her.
And he knew that she knew. His lips thinned into a stern line as his head cocked to the side.
"Whoa, what's with the stand-down?" Lucy asked with a chuckle, her hand casually falling on Tim's wrist resting on the chair. His stare flicked down to the touch, then to her, and Angela knew she won.
Lifting from her chair, she waved her off and shot Tim an inconspicuous wink. "Nothing. Tim just helped me confirm I was right. C'mon, Harper, let's catch a killer."
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@tim-lucy @smolfangirl @alphinias
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You know I always welcome ACOTAR questions and fandom questions in general but I feel like I don't want to keep on getting more questions about Elr*els specifically. I'm fine with theories but other than that I don't know.
I guess it's kind of my fault since most of you see me answering questions related to them but we'll need to tone it down now.
I don't like most of them but I won't comment on every little thing they enjoy like we do when it comes to our ship. I know I keep my comments to my page only but I still don't want to be that person who has to point out every little thing about them and honestly, I do feel a lingering guilt about some of the stuff I say regardless of whatever BS they pulled off recently. Not always but it happens.
Sometimes I'll do things out of pettiness because I'm always exposed to what that fandom does for some reason, but I have to ask myself is my page turning more negative and full of fandom drama more than bookish and theory posts? Is the negativity affecting me and those around me?
Again, definitely my fault and I know some of you find this a safe space to rant to me or ask for my opinion. I get some questions that I feel like a trap or just calls in more fandom drama. Especially when it's a question coming from one of them.
I honestly felt better a few days ago since I was focused on more bookish stuff than fandom drama. Sorry this is me babbling randomly but I hope I'm making sense. I do find all of this draining.
#I did consider turning my anons off for a while#but I enjoy some of the anons I get so I don't know
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Baby Rose
Summary: Reader and Chris had a little baby girl. But not everything is going that well, you're both trying to navigate life as new parents.
You were desperately trying to get your 3 month old baby to sleep. But that wasn't happening anytime soon. She just kept crying and crying. You felt like the worst mother ever. You couldn't even comfort your own child. You tried everything that you could think of.
You were bouncing her slightly while singing every lullaby you knew. Nothing worked. Dodger was on floor in the nursery looking at you two. After an hour of non stop wailing, the dog ran elsewhere. You didn't blame him. You went to get your phone to text Chris.
You kept bouncing Rose on your hip while she cried at the top of her lungs. You tried calling him but it went straight to voice mail. He was supposed to be home by now.
"Oh I know, I know baby. Daddy isn't home yet. It's okay we can do this. He'll be home soon."
Rose got a bit quiet at the mention of Chris. But she was still unhappy. You tried to put her in the stroller and walk around the house but that only seemed to make it worse. By now you had called Chris three times and still no answer.
You could feel your own tears forming and a lump caught in your throat. You even considered calling your mom for help but it wasn't like she was the most maternal person you knew. So instead you called Chris's mom. Lisa answered almost immediately.
"Hi Lisa, sorry for calling you so late but I just..."
You couldn't help but let out a sob.
"Sweetheart, what's going on? Talk to me."
You couldn't find the words and was borderline hyperventilating. It felt as if you couldn't breathe.
"Come on Y/N sweetie you gotta breathe. Take deep breath. We can do it together. Listen to my breathing and try to match it... That's so good, hun you're doing great."
You could feel yourself calming down from each breath you took.
"I don't know what to do. Rose has been crying for hours now and I can't get her to stop. I tried singing, the swaddling, rocking her, feeding, changing... Nothing helps. I CAN'T do it. I'm a horrible mom. And I'm all alone. Chris isn't answering his phone and I don't know what to do. And I can't do it by myself."
"Sweetheart listen to me. You're a good mother and I know that because I've seen it. Okay, all of this is still new and you guys are getting the hang of it. I picked up most things along the way. I was nervous and scared each time but it takes time."
You and Lisa talked for a little bit and you had never been more thankful for her. She knew exactly what to say. You had grown closer to Lisa after the birth. The three of you had stayed at his family home for a month or so after Rose was born. Lisa had been such a great help.
Lisa had offered to come over to help you seeing as she only lived half an hour away. But you being you didn't want to burden her any further. The two hung up then phone and you went back to your daughter that were still crying.
Not long after did you hear a door open. You thought it was Chris but when you turned around you came face to face with Lisa.
You could almost cry all over. You had never felt more relieved, she walked over and hugged both you and Rose. She quietly took Rose from you and sat in the rocking chair and started humming a tune. You had never been more thankful for Lisa.
You tiptoed out of the nursery and went down to the living room. A little while later, Lisa emerged from upstairs and went to sit with you. You then poured out your heart to her and she listened. Each time Rose got a bit fussy, Lisa went to see her. She offered to spend the night so that you could rest.
About two hours later Chris came home. Dodger went to greet him at the door and you had stayed glued to the couch of exhaustion. Several days of insufficient sleep was catching up with you.
Chris went to get a beer and sat down next to you. Chris wrapped up an arm around you and you automatically leaned into his touch.
"Hey. Where were you?"
"After working on game plan for ASP, Mark invited us to stay for a beer afterwards."
You could feel your body boiling with anger now despite the exhaustion. You turned your head and glared at him before standing up.
"So I'm home alone with your baby while you're out drinking beer with your buddies"
"Hey, why are you getting upset? You make it sound like that's the only thing that I've been doing."
"Oh I'm so sorry honey. That was inconsiderate of me. You know what else is inconsiderate, you leaving me all alone with Rose when we had a deal."
"I'm sorry but one of us has to keep working towards a normal every day like. I'm working my ass off trying to get things ready for the big launch of ASP."
"I do understand that Chris. But I recall you saying before Rose was born, that you would still help me and that we would figure things out. But here I am all alone in this. Even when you're home it's like you're not here."
Chris was quiet for a while and didn't really know what to say. You threw your hands in the air and went to go upstairs.
"I'm going to bed now and I would prefer it if you slept on the couch seeing how the guest room is occupied."
He was about to ask you who was using the guest room but kept his mouth shut. Chris watched as you walked upstairs with Dodger hot on your heels. Chris turned on the TV and sipped his beer but he couldn't shake was you'd just said.
Chris had done as you had told him and spent the night on the couch. He could feel his back aching. He then caught the scent of freshly brewed coffee and followed the smell and found his mother working her way around the kitchen.
"Hey... Ma. What are you doing here?"
"Don't you 'Ma me' Christopher Robert Evans. I'm here because your girlfriend needs you. Y/N can't do all of this alone. She and that little baby needs you to step up."
"Ma, I was only a few hours late last night. And apparently she had you around to help out. I don't get why she got so upset. It was just a one time thing."
"Chris, honey that's just plain dumb. Because this hasn't been a one time thing. You're leaving her all alone and coming and going as you please. You don't see Y/N do that, do you? I know that ASP and your other projects has been a handful and I'm truly proud of you for doing something you're so passionate about. But as your mother I am compelled to say when you're acting like a idiot. If you don't start to prioritize better, then I fear Y/N isn't going to stick around in the long run."
"What am I supposed to do? Can you just... "
"Chris, you have to figure this out for yourself. But trust me if things aren't going to change. You're going to risk losing them both and I know that you don't want that. Chris, be the dad that you're meant to be."
Chris stayed for a while in the living room after his talk with his mother thinking about she'd just said. Chris watched as Lisa went upstairs to say bye to his daughter and girlfriend. Chris went up to stairs and hugged his mom as she was leaving. She gently patted his cheek confident that her son would to the right thing.
Chris could her your voice from the hallway. You were humming a tune as you changed Rose's diaper. The baby giggled and was flailing her small chubby arms in the air. She was just the cutest baby in the while wide world. Rose had her dad's eyes but your lille button nose. When you were done you picked up Rose to go downstairs.
You came face to face with Chris who had been watching from the doorway. Chris always had a very telling face. You knew that he felt bad but it wasn't enough. You marched straight past Chris and went downstairs where you put Rose on her playmat. You went to the kitchen to prepare yourself some breakfast and get Rose's food ready. You could feel Chris's eyes in the back of your head.
Rose was babbling while trying to reach some of her toys. She was doing a little more every day. Dodger came over and laid down next to Rose. Rose rolled bit over to try and pet the dog with her uncoordinated grabby hands. Dodger didn't seem to mind at all.
You smiled at the sight but your smile fell as you saw Chris's sad expression. He felt like he missed it all. He hadn't even noticed how big of a psychical development she had gone through. He had been around of course but hadn't been paying good enough attention to what was happening.
Chris sat down on the couch and watched his beautiful daughter in disbelief. He had no one to blame but himself. This right here was something that he'd wanted for so long and now was missing out. You walked over to Chris and kneeled down in front of him.
"I can't believe how much that has happened and I didn't even notice. Y/N I'm really sorry."
Chris continued apologizing while saying there was no excuses for his behavior or actions. You cut him off.
"I know, Chris. But we have to find a better solution. I know that one of us has to work and everything. But there has to be a easier way for us all. Rose and I need you here too..."
"Yes. I'll figure something out. I’ll talk with Mark about finding something more fitting to our situation. I'll fix it. I promise."
Chris later watched as you fed Rose. His heart swelled from the sight, watching you and his daughter. He couldn't afford to miss out on anything else in you or Rose's lives. He couldn't bear it. He made a deal with Mark about working as much as possible from home. Chris loved you and Rose so much and he would do anything to make it work.
And on that day he had never been more thankful for knowing the two best mothers in the world. His mother Lisa, for calling him out in his BS. You, for having Rose's best interest at heart and for giving him a chance to be a better dad.
(An idea I got earlier today. NOT that I'm saying Chris would be a bad dad or anything. He’ll most likely be an amazing dad when the time comes.
This is strictly fiction - please don't hate me. BUT I have my doubt about this one being okay or not.
There's probably some errors here and there and timeline might not fit) 🤷♀️😅
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One thing that's as (or more) annoying than 'technobabble' is what I like to call 'religious-babble'. Just like technobabble, it is when a writer wants their character to sound well-learned in a particular religion (usually Christianity or some horrible chimera of beliefs) but they don't actually research the religion they want this character to talk about.
So we end up with lines like... "Do you ever wonder how God feels when he kills? You know, in the book of Job, he inflicts ritualistic pain on his creations just to win a bet. Can't that be applied to our own lives? We like feeling powerful. And in a way... We are God."
Don't lie. You've heard a line like this before. It adds very little to the theming or tone of the story because it really doesn't MEAN anything. It's just gibberish! And most of it is horrifically innacurate to the faith the character is supposed to understand! It's ridiculous.
I find it more annoying than technobabble, since everyone instantly writes that nonsense off as BS. There are actual real people who hear trash like this and think it's an accurate representation of how a religion works, which only adds to the misinformation plague in the world.
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immj2 04.12.20 lb
dadi is totes eskited, jaise pehli baar shaadi ho rahi ho. shipper ho toh aisi!!!!
lmao iskiiiii utaavli toh dekho. didn’t need to be told twice. not even a momenttttt of jhijakkkk he had. varmaalas hote toh kachchue ki taraah mundiii aage karta.
yeh aage itna parking space kyun choda hua hai????
lol this unnecessary chacha is back for what joy???? he wasn’t here when vansh “died”, he’s here for this total random ceremony???
lmaooooo all of their faces are so tortured. ki ek baar hi iss shaadi se humara band bajaa hua hai, ab toh doosri baar bhi ho gayi.
solemn sorry to vansh. ki i have to do this to save the family.
meanwhile jisse sorry maang rahi hai, he’s hassi-khushi lootofying mazze of wedding # 2.
he needs to fucking stop looking at her like this, like she is the reason the sun rises.
dadi going hardcore on this ki yeh waali tootni nahi chahiye ok, chaahe duniya idhar ki udhar ho jaaye. this ends only when riddhima dies (because sadaa suhaagan, etc. 🤮🤮🤮)
happy affirmative nods from this one. lol he’s genuinely so psyched to have scored his own wife again. cute!!!!!!!
ishani is like bhakkkkkkkkkkkk, saara mood kharaab kar diya. poor thing,
and lol angre went trotting behind her immediately.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ISKA CHEHRA DEKHO LMAO.
this bitch tooooooooooooo soft for his wife. I LOVE IT.
warning glares to everyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyone as he takes her.
LMAO HER PETTY ASS COULDN’T HELP BUT RUBBBBBBBBBBBBB IT INTO KABIR’S FACE.
V on the outside:
V on the inside:
blah blah how could you let this behroopiya put sindoor in your maang, i’ll find out the truth and then badnaaam youuuuu, just waitttt. abbe jaaaaa na.
wow. champion scrabble player kabir must be.
abbe duffer scrabble mein checkmate nahi hota. i overestimated your intelligence.
also how the fuck he instantlyyyyyyyyyyyyy make vihaan’s name correctly????? like, there’s 6 letters and if you do permutations, 6!/2!=360. THERE’S 360 WAYS YOU COULD ARRANGE THOSE LETTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
idhar this one is babbling about what happened today was just part of contract, main sirffffffff tumhaari hoon vanshhhhhh.
this one deciding to toy with her emotions a little by doing the vansh voice. not cool, my man. she looks genuinely devastated.
grief gives way to anger.
lmaooooooooo she’s saying take my vansh’s clothes off and ripping them off him.
i would do the same, sis. NIKAAALO KAPDEEEEE (but in a sexyyyyy way.)
passionate defense of mera vansh aisa tha, mera vansh waisa tha, tum mere vansh jaise kabhi nahi ho sakte, blah blah blah. behen, speech dene se fursat mile toh dekho ki tumhara vansh is looking at you like he wants to take you up against that fuglyass wall right this second. mandbuddhi aurattttttttttttttttttttt.
trying to tamp down his horny by saying all this love you have for vansh seems fake af. website doesn’t seem credible it seems, lol. riddhima forgot to update her security certificates.
i can’t stop lmao whenever he calls her Dollar Biwi.
who dis watching from outside now??????
pushing and prodding and poking (saying the truth only, ki kahin aise he khel OG pati ke saath bhi nahi khele the???) aaaaaand.......
“thappad se darr lagta hai sahiba.......”
“............lekin pyaar se nahi lagta!”
lmao who knew he was so filmy!!!!!
“toh agli baar, sirf pyaaaar, pyaaar.........”
“...... and only pyaar!”
he cute and all but asking for a good kick in the crotch rn.
“laaton ka bhoot nahi hoon main; pyaar se baat karogi toh baaton se maan jaunga.”
HE NEEDS TO STOP NUZZLING INTO HER HAIR THAT WAY!!!!!!
ALSO BRO IF YOU JUST TELL HER WHO YOU ARE, YOU’D BE GETTING SO MUCH NOOKIE TONIGHT. STUPID MASOCHISTIC FUCK.
i hate this stupid “ladki ka gussa is so hot” bs. i hate it so much.
finally she gave it to him nicely. idk wtf she was waiting for this long. main hoti toh kab ka miss congeniality waala S-I-N-G method deploy karti.
he’s really working on riddhima and my lassssssst nerve.
speaking of fuckers paaofying bhangra on women’s lasttttt nerve.............. all you men in this house are really asking to be fucking stabbed in the eye today, aren’t ya.
scrabble champion kahinnnnnn bhi shuru ho jaata hai haan?
maybe all this badla and mission is just a sad way to distract himself from the fact that he has noone in his life to play scrabble with. that’s literally all he wants. vansh could end this whole thing by just devoting one hour a day to him.
riddhima playing dumb. not that it takes khaas effort for her...........
anyway challenge challenge challenge between the two. idc.
15 min and kabir will have proof he’s saying. yeah right. popat banne waala hai tera.
running in to warn V, and................
V’s face whenever kabir talks to him:
kabir ka toh pata hai, but why is dadi sooooooooo eager and happy to hear this story about how vansh almost fucking died????
lol V tells the whole story (that AP had cooked up that day about the ghar mein gunday and all.......) and kabir’s reaction......
“beautiful!!!!!!!!!”
V is this close to beating the teeth outta K’s mouth lmao.
mishra’s sent the proof aaaaaaaaand....................
lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
askdjlsakjdlaskjdlaskjldkjaslkjdalsklkjas i hate him lolololololololol
a narrow win for our team!
“kya hua kabir? tumhare chehre se toh aisa lag raha hai jaise haath mein aate aate koi bohut badi daulat haath se nikal gayi!” HE’S SUCH A PETTY BASTARD LMAO
mrs. petty bastard has some extra salt to rub in. premium grade pink himalayan salt.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. container house ke itttu se gadde ko bye bye, hello again to my king size mattress!
ofc they’ll fight about contract, sanskaar, blah blah idc i’m just here for what i know is coming up .
there it isssssssssssssss.
MANS GOTTA STOP LOOKING AT HER LIKE THIS.
“main gentleman hoon. kisi bhi ladki, khaas kar meri Dollar Biwi ko taqleef nahi de sakta.”
i’m so sickkkkk of himmmmmmmmmm.
badiiiiiii jaldi maan gayi riddhima??????? don’t blame her tho.
IF THAT “BETA MANN MEIN LADDOOOOO PHOOOOOTA” CADBURY AD WAS MADE IN 2020.
lo ji naagin 5 mein vani ne pardaa utaar diya toh idhar inko gift kar diya.
standard “tumhaari neeyat bigad gayi, toh bhi main uss side nahi aane waala” dialogue.
UGH I AM SUCH A SUCKER FOR THIS BS.
he’s like achcha mujhe le toh aayi, but karna kya hai exactly??????
vansh ne property dadi ke naam kii thi. it’ll be transferred back to vansh, and i want you to write it all on my name.
great. he’s gonna think she’s a golddigger now. re devaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. kab milegi muktiiiiiii riddhima mujh ko innn tuchche misunderstandings se?????
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The exact conversation from my first ask, but in a different scenario. 5/5 meetup, D being annoying&overconfident, Q kind of tired bc of travelling& not taking any bs. D taunting Q, instantly regretting it bc of Q's tone of voice (resulting in the convo from the 1st ask) bc he knows that Q knows hes ticklish from hour long calls the group had and he also knows that Q is gonna be god tier at teasing. And 2 people who know all his spots (S&G) are in the same room, also fed up w his bs 2/2 -Juno
see junos first ask under cut 👇🏼
🌩🌩🌩…
!!!! so this is interesting because you RARELY see this pairing. But you’re right that there have been many situations where like dream gets all cocky with like a bet or something, andthen the minute quackity ever goes “yeah dream? what was that dream? *goes on a little rant about how he’s been putting up with dreams shit*” and like challenges his terms or claims or whatever, he does the cute arse “well.. well ok no- no ok.” and starts second guessing himself
so yep 👀 quackity visits the dream team and he’s bloomin tired (as are gogs and sappy) after a day of streaming. dream is BOUNCING. he doesn’t have to be on face cam right? they’re all babies!! so exhausted when all they had to do was STREAM!! and he’s going on his little rant about how easy streaming is how it’s can’t be that hard and then
Q: “you seem full of energy there dream, do you want some help with that?”
D: *incomprehensible surprised babbling*
Q: “Yeah? *giggle* wanna repeat what you said just now? About us being so being babies after our long day of streaming?”
D: “n-no it’s was nothing..” *averts eyes*
🌩🌩🌩…
JUNOS FIRST ASK UNDER CUT
🌩🌩🌩…
Currently watching a Karl vod where hes playing Gang beasts with some people including D&G, and Quackity just joined. Dream made a kind if teasing comment,& Q didn't understand him bc he was quiet, resulting in this. Q: (kind of teasy) "What did you say Dream?" D: ".... I didn't say anything.." So brain went brrr and now I'm thinking abt how D&Q always had this playful teasy rivalry kind of dynamic, and Q seems like one of the people to put up w D's shit the least, so what im saying is
🌩🌩🌩…
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Okay......
so I tend to get a tad weary when I notice a sudden upswing of random back posts I made get a huge insane surge of traffic to them.
In the last 12 hours, two separate posts attracted a high-volume of one-dimensional accounts-each trying to represent two radically and epitomized polarized lifestyles....many of these accounts had all the earmarks of being contrived, empty blogs or fake limited nonsense....many of them with long word salads or number sequences set into the name.
Sure enough, in a flurry of one-dimensional porn blogs, was one account (with numbers peppered in the name) that I investigated, and it didn’t take long for me to stumble across the most insane crap ever. It was a post they reblogged from a BS account going by “rwood2477″ (the confrontational tone in the header “I post what I want- no apologies” was a big giveaway if the numbers in the name wasn’t enough along with the boomer memes and generic cat content).
It claimed to be a “personal account” from a “trooper” who was assigned to handle the Capitol “protest”. This account was supposedly found in “The Newport News” (no link or source provided....by the way, Newport News is the name of a city not a news outlet) It was the most god-awful FOP puff piece ever scrawled. Such saccharine-saturated, jingoist-laden, leftist-/media-demonizing, vain babbling dipshittery! It tried to paint Trump supporters as showing up peacefully (with no clubs, zip-ties, bombs, guns, confederate flags, white supremacy regalia, no military regalia) and made sure to emphasize that the attendees were a thorough mix (HA!!) of whites, blacks, and Latinos, and that they were incredibly cordial and respectful to our police and left quietly. They used flowery terms about how it all “made their heart swell with pride” or how their “eyes filled with tears at the outpouring of support”. -and how the real villains were the BLM people who showed up (some in devil’s costumes?!) to cause mayhem.
Every bit of it dripped with lies. Like we are all to ignore all the massive imagery given to us from photos, extensive video coverage, and actual live reporting of the smoke, fires, rampaging, chants of kill, looting, vandalism, and demands for execution by all white, maskless thugs. Why even attempt it? Why go through all that effort to write such a lengthy schpiel of ackbasswards drivel?
Everyone knows now the indisputable facts, and all you guys are doing is making us hate what you’ve done all the more. It’s not even that effective at heightening the polarity of the situation if this was created from a third party trying to sow dissent.
It’s just a new low in brain damage.
It got a high count of notes (most of them all from accounts I already blocked long ago, as the note count was meager when I actually went to see who) and they were all from the same insular cadre of manufactured boomer meme, overly candid (name and photo), military-pumped, stock image, no avatar/content (empty). They were programmed to frame it all as a “BLUE LIVES” situation (almost all the responses were bot programmed emojis of patriotic support).
...anyway, if one wants a gross peek into the most extremist derangement into those who are so far removed from reality that they even attempt this kind of upside down propaganda, then track down that account and scope that shitpost (and don’t be afraid to report a few posts and block and few accounts on the way).
Luckily, Tumblr gives me a track record of who takes interest in my content, so I may get an idea of who needs to get cut-off.
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Hi! Little rant from a retail worker here! We know this time is hard and shopping can be more of a hassle, but we are doing what we can to keep you and ourselves safe. We understand that you’re frustrated, but frankly, we are too, and we don’t want to nor do we have time to listen to you grumble about how everyone is “making a big deal out of nothing” and how this is all “horse****” and how we’re “getting a taste of all that socialist BS”. Honestly, I DON’T CARE. I don’t care that you don’t like the way we’re running things. I don’t care that being in the midst of a global pandemic doesn’t align with your political beliefs. I’m here to work, and while making polite small talk may be part of my job, it’s not my job to listen to you moan and groan about your “rights” and everything you hate about the government. Please, I’m begging you, just follow the rules that we’ve set in place in our store to keep everyone safe and we won’t give you a hard time. Also, I can assure you, I’d much rather have a bland conversation about the weather with you than listen to you babble about politics. Thanks.
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Monday night’s all-new hour of Arrow is not only the season seven finale, it’s also Emily Bett Rickards’ last episode as Felicity Smoak on The CW’s superhero drama.
The twenty-seven-year-old actress revealed the news of her departure with a sweet collage and poem on her Instagram at the end of March. “Felicity and I/ are a very tight two/ But after one through seven/ we will be saying goodbye to you,” she wrote to the dismay of longtime fans.
Rickards’ exit means that Arrow’s eighth and final season will not feature Felicity, a character who has been a fan favorite since her endearing “babbling” with Oliver Queen (Stephen Amell) in the IT department at Queen Consolidated in the series’ third episode.
Her vast technological knowledge proved invaluable as one of the three original members of Team Arrow, and Felicity’s journey defied comic-book canon’s expectations when she later became Oliver Queen’s wife, and then the mother of his child, Mia (Katherine McNamara).
After seven seasons of near-death twists and heart-pounding turns, Felicity’s time is coming to an end, so ET called up Arrow showrunner Beth Schwartz to get the inside scoop on Olicity’s final scene, and if the girl with the red pen could ever come back to our screens.
Entertainment Tonight: All of Arrow’s season finales are monumental events, but this one is especially important to fans because it’s Emily Bett Rickards’ last episode. What was your goal when you set off to create this last hour of season seven?
Beth Schwartz: Well, definitely it was to honor the whole season and make sure that we end the redemption story that we began with, as well as giving Felicity a major sendoff, which was really important to me.
You and Emily have such a great working relationship and an off-screen friendship as well. When she came to you and said she wanted to end Felicity’s journey on Arrow, what was your initial reaction?
BS: As a friend, I fully support Emily and her new chapter and what she wants to do—but creatively, I was definitely very sad because she’s one of my favorite characters to write. So yeah, this finale was definitely bittersweet in that sense that I feel really happy with what we came up with, but very sad that it’s the end.
I love that you bring up the dichotomy of wanting to supportive to her as a friend, but that this decision throws a wrench in your plans as a showrunner. Was there ever a conversation where you asked, “Can you just hold out for one last half season?”
BS: [Laughs] No, I don’t want to pressure her. She has to do what’s right for her and, obviously, I’d be more than happy if she came back at some point next season, so we’ll just have to see.
And that leads us to the the number one questions that fans have been asking: Is there a possibility that Felicity could come back for the series finale of Arrow?
BS: I don’t know. I hope there is a way that can happen. She’s welcome to come back whenever she wants.
When you were approaching this episode—knowing it was going to be the last one for Felicity—did Emily have any last wishes or Easter eggs that she wanted to make sure were included?
BS: I don’t think so. I think that we were on the same page as for her exit from the show. I know that Stephen had some. It was really important to him, and we had a lot of conversations about her ending as well. So between the three of us, I think we were all very happy with the outcome.
Felicity Smoak’s fans are so passionate—not just about her, but about her friendships as a member of OTA and her romantic relationship with Oliver. How will this last episode honor this character that fans know and love?
BS: I think this whole season, in a sense, honored her character. She was so prevalent in our future storyline and [through] her relationship with Mia, you got to see what she went through in the future and also some of her successes as well. And then in the present day, we get to see the origins of Smoak Tech and that that was super important to her besides just being part of Team Arrow. And then with her relationship with Oliver, [we saw her] getting pregnant and then sort of trying to figure out how to be parents when you’re superheroes and danger has always been around the corner.
Fans love Original Team Arrow so much. Are we going to be getting a special OTA moment in this final episode?
BS: Yeah we definitely honor the OTA in the finale. There’s a lot of really nice homages to where the series started between the three of them and as well as between Oliver and Felciity.
Olicity has become the most powerful shipdom we’ve ever seen. What can fans expect from Felicity and Oliver’s last scene together?
BS: I feel like we honor the relationship from where they started to what they’ve gone through over the entire series, not just this season where they started separate when Oliver was in prison and Felicity being able to take care of herself. I think the fans will be very satisfied with the ending. That’s all I can say.
What are the chances that we’ll get the see Oliver and Felicity share a scene together in the future storyline?
BS: Oh, in the finale? Low.
Seeing Felicity as a mother has been such an amazing addition to this season and her dynamic with Mia has been so great. How would you describe Felicity and Mia’s interactions in this final episode?
BS: You see in [episode] 16 where they had such a great relationship, but then Mia felt betrayed. They’ve had a little bit of a bumpy ride, but by the end, that will all have been resolved.
As we look toward the end of Arrow, fans are already clamoring about the crossover. What can you tease right now as you’re trying to piece together another massive Arrowverse crossover?
BS: We’ve already started talking about it, which is crazy. Last year we said it was the earliest we’d started talking about it, but this year we started talking weeks ago. It’s pretty massive and basically it’s going to affect every show, which is really cool. So yeah, there’s a to to look forward to.
What last message to you want to say to the Arrow fans before they embark on this final episode for Felicity Smoak?
BS: It’s definitely an emotional ending and it is a lot to process. I just think they’ve been such a great and passionate fandom, and I just hope it will honor this character that everyone loves that everyone has been watching for the past seven years.
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February 8th-February 14th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from February 8th, 2020 to February 14th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:
Which of your characters is most like you, and how does the similarity affect how you write them?
Nutty (Court of Roses)
Every one of my main characters in Court of Roses https://courtofroses.spiderforest.com/ has a little piece of me, but Merlow takes a big chunk of me, and/or the person I try to be, in his character. I tend to feel for him a lot and get deep into his emotional highs and lows.
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
In Whispers of the Past (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366), I am actually most similar to my villain, Ryukou, which.... is a bit concerning and also oddly cathartic at the same time. Ryukou, like me, is book smart rather than street smart, just an absolute nerd. He obsesses over details and frequently gets lost in his work (often as a detriment to his health, forgetting to eat and sleep and such). He is a severe overthinker about pretty much everything, and he bottles his emotions inside. He is also asexual and generally has a hard time showing affection. This is to the point where when he finds someone he really cares about, losing them is like losing the one friend he ever had. Pretty much all of these traits are directly inspired by me, which leaves behind an interesting feeling, because even through all of his evil acts, his horrible deeds and unforgivable sins... I still want to redeem him. I don't want to call him "evil," because to do so feels like accepting myself as evil. So I do a lot of labeling him as "troubled" instead of "evil."
Mei
People say that I'm a lot like my character Bruce but with a spattering of Kenneth's sardonic nature. I feel as if I just split myself in two to write them! My friends do joke about Kenneth being the vent for all my frustrations, and honestly... they are not wrong... I do think a lot of my characters have a bit of me in them. Whether it's the sense of humour or the sass, I think it's just a part of the writing process for me. That being said... I love all my lil characters beans and I cherish them and I just want the best for them, even if I sometimes write them into terrible situations... what can I say, I am a terrible parent to my lil characters
DanitheCarutor
Both my main characters have a little bit of me in them. Apollo has some of my music interests, which is old country and 70's - 80's stuff, mostly rock. Julian, even though their interests and general personality are being overshadowed by their mental state right now, they like science and reading. Although their interests aren't exactly like mine, I like geology as well as biological sciences like medical science and zoology, while Julian enjoys biological plant sciences like botany and horticulture. They're not really THAT similar, but I guess I consider them so since it's all nerdy science bs. I do have more than just interests, but I'll put those behind a spoiler since they're generally sensitive topics and also really personal: SPOILER Since my comic is a vent comic, I use my characters are tools to explore my own issues, and see them from a different perspective. I filter a lot of my mental issues through Julian, which is stuff like long-term suicidal depression and self-hate. Not gonna lie, I've been living with urges to die since I was 11, and have been feeling like crap for longer than that. Apollo is loosely in a position of a kid seeing a parent in an abusive relationship, having that feeling of being powerless and not knowing what to do, although he doesn't take notice of the situation till the end of chapter 5/beginning of chapter 6. (Although it can also extend to the friend or non-child relative, 3rd party type affected by the situation. I've been in that position as well...) Also later on living with a person who has PTSD and other serious psychological issues. Being a person who was raised by a parent with PTSD and anxiety due to an abusive ex-husband, it quite an experience, especially since neither of us were educated in the slightest on mental health. (I was a child, so you know, I didn't really know better.) In my teens she married a guy who was all emotional abuse, so that's where the "helpless kid" stuff comes from.(edited) END SPOILER
DanitheCarutor
Even though people who know me who've seen the comic think it's a bad idea, working on it actually been super cathartic. It puts to paper emotions and experiences that I have a lot of trouble putting into words, while also letting me see "myself" from a different perspective. Also with how dedicated I've been to researching for this comic I have explored a lot of the good sides to mental health, good coping mechanisms, and general self-care. Which later on becomes the main focus in the story. So my comic has been really nice for me. You can say I'm personally invested in seeing it through till the end.
Lol you know, the more I post on the more I feel like I just make everything uncomfortable. Uh, just kick me from the server if you all feel like I'm ruining the mood, I'll totally understand! xD
keii4ii
It's totally fine as far as I'm concerned! I just hope you're not feeling too uncomfortable
DanitheCarutor
I see stuff like this as me just using myself as an explanation or example for the nature of my comic, the focus isn't really on me specifically so it feels less awkward. It feels more technical and less personal, even though the subject matter is super personal... if that makes any sense.(edited)
So yeah, I'm good!
DanitheCarutor
Er, better explanation: It's easier to talk about personal stuff when it's for my comic than when it's for me. Sorry, my wording was bothering me.
kayotics
I mean, you're not the only one to use comics or characters as a way to deal with things emotionally. I've absolutely done that before. Both Toivo and Rosemary in Ingress Adventuring Company (https://www.ingress-comic.com/) are inspired a lot from me and my own experiences. Rosemary is modeled after me as a teenager: irritable, a know it all, annoyed, and then has a single parent who she has a very hard time relating to because of how different emotionally they are. Toivo is inspired in a different way. He has traits that I wish I had (like emotional vulnerability and cheerfulness), and faces problems that were inspired by events in my life. both of them seem to actually share a lot of the flaws that I have, just manifested in different ways.
DanitheCarutor
Pff I mean making people uncomfortable by going into detail about it. Usually I'm more vague, or don't bring up personal stuff, but it's behind a spoiler so eh.
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
I don't think there's anything wrong with that. The nature of the question itself is to be personal, considering we're talking about how similar we are to our characters.
I have similarities to one of my other characters as well, but I decided not to talk about it because I'm still working through my issues atm The fact that you're able to talk about these sensitive topics means that you've made a lot of progress.
Eilidh (Lady Changeling)
I personally put bits of myself into my characters deliberately, because it makes it easier to write them in a way that feels authentic to my own experience and feelings (the only first hand references I have for reality)
DanitheCarutor
@Cronaj (Whispers of the Past) It helps a lot that my previous job had an on-site Psychologist who I used to talk to. Before she moved out of state she helped me through a board interview, and got me in the mindset to be open about discussing mental health issues. Although I don't usually talk about my own issues since most of them are self-diagnosed, and saying I have that stuff for sure doesn't feel right, when the Psychologist was around we really only got around to diagnosing and tackling my social anxiety.
It's funny because a lot of our discussions were me asking her about the nature of her work, along with experiences she had with patients since therapy and stuff like that is a large part of the later part of my comic.
But back on topic, poor Julian gets the brunt of my issues, poor thing! Poor comic characters, they deal with so much shit. Lmao!
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Indeed they do.
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
It's not well-hidden that Phantomarine's (http://www.phantomarine.com/) main character Phaedra is extremely similar to me But over time, she's become less of a carbon copy, and more of a critique/exploration of myself when I was younger. Partly just because the comic has gone on for almost five years now - she's remained locked in time, while I've gained clearer hindsight as to who I was at 19. At my best, I was caring, empathetic, hard-working, and thoughtful - at my worst, I was stubborn, stiff, quick to judge, slow to change, and mightily self-righteous. But when some bad life events happened, I was forced to mature in unexpected ways. I wanted to channel that same energy for Phaedra. She's strong in her convictions - but maybe a bit too strong.
Her journey doesn't involve a total invalidation of her convictions, but more of a broadening. Someone inflexible becoming more willing to question her beliefs in the event of new knowledge. Especially with the threat of death/erasure on the line. It's my greatest critique of my younger self - not something I outright hate in retrospect, but something I needed to work on. Phaedra both annoys me and stirs up great pity in me. I think that's a healthy and relatable combination for a teenager/young-adult.
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
In terms of, like, her backstory, and how her life unfolds in general, Mizuki is basically nothing like me. But in terms of dialogue... Mizuki talks exactly how I talk in real life.
Tuyetnhi
a lot of folks asked me if Cara is a self-insert when I explicitly states she's kind of an experience between me and my mom's relationship with each other. Though she has some personality from me, that's the same goes with everyone else I create for my comics or written stories.
idk it might just an inherent thing I recognize
twothirty
Like most people have mentioned all my characters in Verse (http://versecomic.com/) have parts of me in them, it's the only way i can write them in a believable way. But if i had to pick just 1, it's definitely Fife. Just 100% anxiety, a constant inner dialogue of self-doubt, and my own nervous tics like playing with hair and picking at nails. It makes writing how he handles problems kind of weird, because I get a bit too much in my own head with it.
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I can relate with all my characters in some way and definitely throw some of my own culture and experiences in mental illness into them. I feel like I'm able to write those things in better and make them feel more natural because I know what it's really like and how I would be responding to a situation. There's also one character I'm about to introduce (in an update for tomorrow or Monday) who's kind of like how I was as a child.
Capitania do Azar
I feel like I'm just going to repeat a lot of the replies I see here by saying I sprinkled a lot of traits and issues through the characters so I can see them interact and figure things out I don't think there's one of them that gets more than the others though. And it's usually really small things here and there, nothing too big because that would ruin the purpose of trying to have my characters being their own persons
Tuyetnhi
yep, i agree on that
renieplayerone
same here, I kinda spread out between a bunch of different characters. I really wanted to be deliberate in not having a self-insert character while still being able to talk about things I've experienced. I think for me what helped was figuring out what werent things I related to about these characters and went out and talked to people who did have that experience
DanitheCarutor
I dunno, I think it's all in what kind of people... creatures you make your characters. Like, I only have the two and really give Julian the majority of my personal stuff, to where they can superficially be a carbon copy of myself. Although overall their background, personality and how they deal with issues are different. You can put a lot of yourself into one character but it's all in how you have them handle those traits, coupled with what kind of personality they have, and where they come from that makes them their own person, so to speak. People are complicated, you can put a group who share the same interests through the same scenario, and how they react or what they take away from that experience will always be a little different.
Urg, sorry if I'm coming off rude, or stating the obvious!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
You know, I was thinking, "none of my characters are like me," but then @snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights) 's comment made me remember that, wait, they do sort of talk like me. I don't really like it. Especially when I catch them using words that I use too often, like "just" and "actually." It doesn't help that my friends have said that I have a very "particular way of speaking," whatever that means. How do you guys prevent that kind of thing? Obviously my natural instinct when writing dialogue is to write in my own voice. It feels unnatural to go against that.
keii4ii
One tool you can use is to model a character after someone else. This doesn't really show in my comic, as it's in English only these days, but the characters canonically talk in Korean most of the time. The MC is not fluent in Korean. I modeled his speech after two Korean-American dudes I know IRL, who are not fluent in the language. He doesn't talk exactly like them, as they have very different personalities, but knowing the exact level of brokenness (as in broken Korean) helped a lot back when I was writing the comic in Korean.
Tuyetnhi
I sometimes caught that too with my characters. I try to think of the type of vocabulary they'll use to speak. also what keii said too. I have a handful of characters based on people I knew, and experiences I had in the past as well.
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
Luckily, my my comic takes place in a much "older" setting, so none of my characters really speak like me. The language is so dated at times that you would have a hard time comparing it to my style of talking at all. Actually.... I do have ONE character who speaks like me. But he's also a 4th wall breaker.
Tuyetnhi
we love characters like that lol
carcarchu
My verbal ticks definitely slip into my characters's dialogue but some of my characters have super wacky speech styles such as the character who only speaks in haiku and the one that only talks in kaomojis so that helps to differentiate them
Deo101 [Millennium]
I give everyone an accent and then just by trying to read it in that accent it kind of loses my voice in that process
DanitheCarutor
To add onto what Keii said, depending on the language, the person who isn't a native speaker may also speak more formally. I used to work in a squadron with a bunch of Dutch pilots, and while their English was exceptional, some of them never used word shortcuts like 'they're' or 'you're' but would instead say 'they are' or 'you are'. Their English was very proper compared to people who were native to the language. You can also base a character's speech off their education level. Like a person who isn't well versed in their grammar, or has a limited vocabulary is going to have related issues while speaking. You can also akin this to how they were raised, if their parents had a specific speech pattern, or they grew up in an area where everyone spoke a certain way they might as well. They might also use different words, such as when I lived in Ohio for a bit I noticed how most people referred to soda as pop, and said words like creek (crick) or pond. As opposed to where I grew up, Arizona, where I rarely heard those specific words being used. Especially creek and pond since we don't have an abundance of natural bodies of water, we usually call everything rivers or lakes regardless of size.(edited)
Uh, to answer more directly. I usually figure in the character's education level, upbringing, and location. For example one of my MCs is a hardcore hick, and doesn't like reading or learning in general, so his speech is very simple and not always grammatically correct. As opposed to my other MC who isn't a native English speaker but put a lot of effort into learning the language, is a very technical person, and worked really hard to hide their accent. Even though they do use shortcuts, their speech is more proper and they use a larger vocabulary because they like reading. They also cuss a hell of a lot more than the other MC because they're extremely salty.(edited)
kayotics
Getting a character's voice right is really hard, honestly. What I have to do when writing dialogue is ask myself "Is this in the character's voice?" dialogue is my favorite thing to write, but it's hard to remember to keep in a specific voice. Sometimes i go back a few times in the dialogue to tweak it so there's the right words being used, and the right sentence structure. It's always a battle between how to say something in the most concise way on the page, but still keeping in the right character voice. Like Dani above me said, there's a lot that goes into figuring out a voice, like education level and upbringing and localisms. I just ask myself "ok, how does this character speak? He feels like he's dumb and he wants to make himself sound smart, so he might use words that are too big here" Eventually with each character I figure out what they're like, but for side characters I try to pick a quirk so they don't all mesh together.
DanitheCarutor
@kayotics Aah! The best thing is when that dumb character uses the wrong big words. "Ah yes sir, I love your work! Your brush strokes are very circumlocution."
Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)
See, I have a dumb character who knows he's dumb, so he just doesn't talk if he thinks he doesn't know what he's talking about
Which is quite often
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I have a very specific tone I use in my comic & I honestly find it harder to avoid slipping into that tone when writing normal stuff than slipping into my own voice writing the comic
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
you do have a very specific tone, sssfrs. Big part of why I read your comic(edited)
I like and agree with kayotics and dani's advice to try to put myself in the character's mind.
Problem is, most of my main characters have similar education levels and grew up in the same place. I mean, there's a reason they're friends.
But that's kind of an excuse, now that I think about it. I've never met two real people with the same voice, even if they're superficially similar. It's probably just a matter of effort differentiating fictional characters.(edited)
Capitania do Azar
How dialog is structured is a great way to show the relationship between the different interacting characters I have two characters who are interested in each other but don't know each other very well and are constantly tiptoeing between using closer pronouns and first names or going back to formal speech and last names/ranks when they feel they're not getting their way. Similarly, a character may speak only in very short, concise sentences to one and be more expressive and take up more words with another. And don't get me started in the weight of silence
AntiBunny
I originally said Hannibal is the most like me in http://AntiBunny.net/ but he and I have grown in different ways since the comic began. Though much of the main cast has bits and pieces of my personality.
sagaholmgaard
I feel like I'm the most like Styrka, mind-wise. I gave her all my anxieties and she's the way I feel like I'd act if I weren't also lucky enough to be in a very positive place in my life, lol. She's the easiest for me to write at least, because I feel like I have the best understanding of her mind out of all the characters. (Behavior-wise, though, I'm more like Albus. I try to be positive if I can!) https://tapas.io/series/_Reclaim_
#ctparchive#comics#webcomics#indie comics#comic chat#comic discussion#comic tea party#ctp#creator interview#comic creator interview#creator babble
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love, between the shadow and the soul
chenford | drabble | post-canon | title: sonnet xvii - pablo neruda
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Look, Tim Bradford did not get attracted to rookies, okay? In all the years he had been a TO, none had grabbed his attention. Not when he and Isabelle were dating, or married, or when she disappeared into the night with a trail of illicit affairs and a shot of heartache for him. Dozens of young women had sat in that car beside him and never ever had he let their femininity distract him. He served his country. He fought wars overseas. He looked Death right in the eye every single day and never blinked.
But then came officer Lucy Chen. He instantly knew the type of cop she’d be the second she turned in her seat, meeting his gaze for the first time, and nervously smiled at him. Nerves were normal, he was aware, but the doe-eyed look and the hopeful grin sold her out. No mystery. Just another young cop that would either slip through the cracks by the exam by tanking their grade due to stress, or she’d become a desk duty cop — one that stayed far from danger, that handled life with a perpetual softer touch ‘cause of her shrink parents.
Nothing wrong with that, Bishop would chastise him. Every cop had its use, she’d add. Sure, that might be true, but Tim didn’t want to babysit an armed toddler waiting for it to cry and call for mom. With just a couple well-placed Tim-tests, she’d be out of his hair in no time and then he could cross his fingers for a better recruit in the following weeks.
Life had the ability to change in a snap though — their funny, yet stern reminder that the universe called the shots, not the gun in his holster, or the rulebook. He got shot. Officer Chen backed him up. Her stubborn, yet brazen, yet honest attitude reeled him in just enough to ignore her little quirks she always joyfully displayed in the shop. Whenever he didn’t nip her ramblings in the bud fast enough, she babbled on and on about her personal life, her personal issues and relationships, like they were best friends (They weren’t! Boots and him never befriended!), like their relationship was anything more than a transactional training period. They got each other’s six. That was it.
But fuck, man. She got under his skin, too.
Lucy wore this… really nice perfume. A lot of female officers had make-up and perfume on, allowed a small sliver of self-expression, and he and Lopez had spend countless hours in a shop together. He was used to it. But somehow, Lucy’s stuck in his nose and didn’t leave. He felt like a creep, thinking about the blend of cardamom and oranges and cherry blossoms mixing with her warm skin, uncontrollable while also wanted. He wanted to fantasise about that fucking perfume of hers, a realisation that took a long time to come to terms with.
That didn’t mean he liked her though — he quickly corrected himself the first time he caught the pattern of behaviour — all it meant was that Lucy had good taste in perfume. Case closed.
So why did he linger whenever her shimmery eyes flicked up at him, why did his breath catch in his throat when her voice dropped to that infuriating sincerity as she uttered words of appraisal? Why his heart go haywire when she recorded all those audio books for him; an out of line gesture and overzealous task for a boot, which would normally result in him laughing their face.
Tim never thought he’d get over Isabelle, nor did he ever believe he’d have his happily ever after with Rachel, but with Lucy he foolishly hoped for more. A more that came from such a stupid and deluded place, probably fostered through months of loneliness and the Pavlovian response to her perfume, but one he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop it. The man was always in control about everything, ran his own tests and went over every possible outcome every day, every hour — and yet he didn’t see her coming. Lucy Chen had been right under his nose and he hadn’t been prepared for the ground to disappear beneath his feet; something that should honestly get him fired. The callousness of his emotions while entertaining the idea of a relationship with his own boot sentenced him straight to P2 or desk duty, or whatever.
Lucy deserved someone better, anyway.
Someone that understood her love for sage and cleansing homes. Someone that liked veggie burgers, chai lattes, karaoke nights and social media lurking. Someone that wouldn’t hesitate for one second to open her door for a teenage girl in need of safety and a little bit of that Chen-love. Someone that wasn’t any of those firemen assholes, but wasn’t Tim either.
He never let his insecurities get the best of him, but after seeing her thrive as a P2 without him, handling undercover stints like a pro, conquering her trauma of being buried alive, it only showcased that she had more bravery in her index finger than some army members had in their entire body, all while staying innately kind. Of course Tim lost his mind over her. Of course he tried shaping officer Barnes to be more like Lucy — more sun and bite and charisma, less army BS. Of course, of course, of course. Even Rosalind, the person he hated most besides Caleb, had him figured out in seconds. He was obvious as hell.
Which was why he had to move stations. Away from the Mid-Wilshire Division and to another. He couldn’t be around her anymore and risk compromising missions or attacks. He didn’t tell Angela the details, though her knowing look said enough, and simply replied that she’d miss him and that she was sure the chief would happily reinstate him any time.
He should’ve known that information leaked through like a wildfire.
The morning of his resignment, uniform neatly folded in his locker, Lucy stopped him in the hallway with the most befuddled expression he’d ever seen.
“What?” he said.
“What the hell,” she exclaimed. “You’re leaving and I have to hear it from Angela? Why’re you…? You love this division. Is everything okay?”
Shouldering past her, he drawled over his shoulder: “Everything’s fine, officer Chen. I’d advise you to put on your uniform and get to roll call.”
“Don’t pull this crap with me,” she bit back, latching onto his arm before he was out of reach. His feet reflexively stopped in place, stupidly waiting on her to finish her train of thought. “Tim, you can tell me if something’s wrong. We’ve been through… way too much for you to act this cold with me.”
He scoffed, feigning mockery, and put his hands on his hips. “We? Chen, I was your TO. That’s it. Get it out of your head it was more.”
Lucy blinked, once, twice, a hurt expression crossing her features, followed by disbelief and a quiet contempt he had become awfully familiar with. Swallowing back the regret, he watched as she pursed her lips and took a step back. “Wow. Okay.”
“Don’t take it personally.”
“Hard not to, officer Bradford,” she muttered. Turning to the locker rooms, she added, “Talk to me when you’re ready to not be an asshole.”
That should’ve been his cue to let her go and resume his trek to sergeant Grey, but a whiff of her fragrance wafted in his face from her dancing curls and any sensical thought was knocked out his head. He wanted to embrace her and burrow his face in her hair, he wanted to hold her with intent, he wanted to kiss the scent off her skin. His feet followed her instead, both fully aware and totally impulsive at once. He chose the excuse of loving a good argument with her to then utter: “I’m not an asshole, Chen. I’m honest.”
“If you’re honest, you’d admit that we’ve been very close friends these past months,” she exhaled, refusing to look him in the eye. He supposed he deserved that. Stopping in front of her locker, she continued with, “Distorting your own reality to fit your macho narrative isn’t healthy. Also, this is the women’s locker room. Out. Now.”
Tim sputtered out a laugh and crossed his arms. “Macho narrative? Please.”
Lucy’s eyes narrowed, all air sucked out the room at the intensity of her stare, and Tim felt himself flailing, suddenly wondering why the hell he wanted to turn in his badge when the only place he could have moments with lucy was, well, here. Why was he giving up on this, how silly it might be?
With a resolute voice, she said, “Tim, why are you resigning?”
Nothing in his entire career prepared him for this. Tim Bradford had survived Iraq and Afghanistan, twelve years of the LAPD and counting, a deadly virus, hundreds of bullets taken by the vest and felt the power of death on the blue lips of Lucy in the quiet countryside. Fear got pushed aside. Pride pulled him forward, onwards. But right now, he had to take a leap of faith — the sole thing he never relied on, but Lucy did — and trust she’d be there after the fall.
(He wanted to be that amazing someone for her.)
“Because of you,” he whispered. His fight or flight told him to run for the first time in forever, but he kept his feet glued to the floor.
Her jaw fell slack in shock. “E-excuse me? Me?! I’ve done nothing wrong!”
“Exactly,” he spit. “You… you’re…” Tim sighed. “You’re the best, Lucy.”
Faltering, her brows furrowed in utter confusion, a grain of her fury replaced with compassion. He wasn’t sure if that was warranted. All he was trying to do was get it off his chest, confess, before it escalated to insurmountable heights. “I don’t think I understand.”
“Uh…”
“You’re resigning, because I’m the best?” she tried to deduce. “No offense, any other day I’d be dancing right now, but this is just…” She gestured at him. “So weird.”
Tim let out a miserable sigh and ripped the band-aid off. Fuck it. “I’m trying to be honest about my feelings, Lucy.”
She froze. “What?”
“I like you. A lot.” Her wonderstruck expression didn’t make him feel better, so he quickly added: “Which is why I gotta decrease the risk of this exploding in our faces and go.”
“Whoa!” Lucy’s hand wrapped around his, eyes wide and searching, like any empirical data would be found within his green irises, otherwise known as fondness and unresolved tension with every quiet moment they had. “Is this… another test? Are you getting back at me for pranking you?”
He quirked a brow. “You’re a P2 now. Tests are over.”
“Right,” she quipped, catching herself. She let go of him and nervously tucked a lock behind her ear. “Yeah. Okay. And you’re serious?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. O-kay. Let me, uh…” the locker swung open “… wrap my head around this.”
“It’s a pretty easy thing to—”
“Tim.”
“Yeah, okay.” He backed off, hating how the control was out of his hands now, how he practically shoved his heart in her grip and her pretty fingers could crush it to dust if she wanted to. “I’ll let you do that.”
Walking out the locker room, he took a deep breath and straightened up his face. Alright. He royally screwed that over. If his army buddies knew, they’d all laugh in his face and tease him for the rest of his life. But at least he told her and got his answer, that a relationship was off the table but that they could save their friendship once he switched divisions and some distance mended his twisted, inside-out heart. Lucy had rocked his world and all she had to do was exist.
“Tim!”
“Wha— wow!”
Her body crashed into him the second he turned around to her beautiful voice, Lucy’s arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him down to her level ‘til all he experienced were her sweet eyes and breathless smile and a kiss. Lucy kissing him, slow and tentative, but it lit his heart aflame and urged him to hold onto her. Her perfume was all-encompassing, nose full of the fragrance and the soft slope of her neck and long, brown hair and fuck, he was kissing Lucy Chen. Except he didn’t care if the entire precinct idly watched by, or if she yanked him out the building on impulse, or anything — ‘cause he was kissing her and it was perfect. Her plump lips were better than he ever imagined.
Her hands slid from his hair to his shoulders, arms and then his hands, squeezing. His forehead pressed against hers, embarrassingly weak in the knees from that incredible kiss that he didn’t dare to stand up straight. Two silly grins broke loose on their faces. He had no clue what to do now, or not do, but he did know he wanted her. He wanted everything.
Lucy decided for him.
“Don’t go,” she whispered.
Tim smiled. “Okay.”
#testing the waters... figuring out their voices...#chenford#the rookie fanfiction#the rookie x pablo neruda overlap is the funniest thing about this whole thing#the rookie
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Arrow 7x18 brain dump
And we’re back from hiatus! Unlike a few that I see, I really enjoyed this episode! Sure the main story was clunky, and a lot of the dialogue was cheesy as hell, but the theme and notion behind it of women coming together to save the day was just everything that Arrow, and the whole Canary concept up until now has been missing. As usual, this got long, and gif-heavy, so apologies if you get bored haha!
Felicity
Yes of course we’re coming to Felicity first! Our (Smoak) Queen absolutely ruled the show this week! I still remember the fandom reaction when we heard the episode title…it was something along the lines of:
(gif from my gif keyboard-sorry no link!)
And then the episode rolls round and it’s awesome (mostly) and Felicity is at the centre of it!! Amazing! In fact, it was so hard to separate this review into character/theme sections this week, as Felicity was intertwined so closely with all of them.
Felicity was at her finest this week. We saw her both as Overwatch and literally saving the day in the field. We had wifey Felicity, loyal friend felicity, mama Felicity, flirty-flirt Felicity….the list goes on!! And in an episode called Lost Canary??
Continued under the cut
It was Felicity’s heart and famous empathy that really shone through for me this week. From start to end she tried her best to win Black Siren back round, to clear her name, and save her from herself. Our girl literally reached across time to help her friend. Now whether or not BS had earned/deserved that much effort on Felicity’s part is another thing altogether, but one thing that prevails is Felicity’s huge heart, her compassion and her unwavering belief in those she calls her friends. Her ability to see the good in people, even at their worst, is probably my favourite thing about her. And whereas Dinah was right to an extent about Felicity having ‘blinders’, she just wants to see the best in people. This is why she is the heart of the team. This is why Oliver fell in love with her. This is why I fell in love with her. The moment where she shouts at Dinah “we should be helping her not hunting her”, just epitomises Felicity for me.
It was ultimately Felicity’s stalwart belief in her that made BS turn ‘good’ in the end. Our girl literally put her and her unborn child’s life out there and dared BS to kill them to prove she was evil. In doing this, Felicity ultimately saves the day! Sure, we see Felicity being a badass every week, but watching her lead a team of women in the field was super emotional for me to watch.
Source: smoaktechs
This did start to feel like a goodbye to Felicity, especially with the Sara scene, reminiscing and commenting on how far she has come. I imagine the timing of Emily’s announcement was planned to precede this last run of episodes for this reason. I’m still coming to terms with Emily leaving, and I haven’t been able to write anything about it yet (and not sure I will tbh), but episodes like this make me realise just how different (and by different I mean shitty) this show would have been/will be without her in it and I’m simply not ready still 😭😭😭
Olicity
We only got two Olicity scenes this week, which was actually far more than I thought we would get, and they bookended the episode so beautifully!! I still don’t think I’m over the cuteness this week!!
In the first scene we got a beautifully babbly Felicity; “Are you sure that you are ok, now that you know that your sister is evil and tried to kill you? Too soon?” 😂😂, along with a little of her own horn-tooting haha:
Source: felicitysmoakgifs 1 and 2
Oliver’s little smile after that was just 😍😍
We had a cute little smooch, and touching!! It was so nice to see them being truly affectionate and comfortable around each other again!
Source: olicitygifs
Then Oliver being all Protective Daddy!Oliver, asking Felicity to take it easy and look after her PRECIOUS CARGO!!!!!
NVJDFNVJDKVNFDVKND!!!! Honestly this will go down as being one of the great Olicity quotes for me! His little belly gesture, and then her adorable “I know” I can’t handle the cuteness guys!!!!!!
Oh and then there was the cutest Olicity scene everrrr!! Felicity returns from her bird adventures to find a sleepy adorable Oliver laid out on the couch 😍🔥😍
Source: lucyyh 💗
OMGGGGG her face when she sees him, and tells him she’d missed him….hgfidsbodsnfv!!!
Source: olicitygifs
The mystery remains as to just why Oliver is that exhausted…as I talk about in the next section, he and Dig didn’t do an awful lot this episode. The only acceptable answer is that they spent the rest of their time in the episode putting together an endless amount of baby furniture…I now decree this as FACT!!
Anyhoo…back to snuggly Oliver. Ughh this man does not stop being adorable (even with this hair)! He sits up and pulls Felicity into him by the bum (we all see you Oliver 👀) and smushes himself into her chest for a hug, kissing her shoulder, telling her how he will take care of her 😍😱 😍😱, then Felicity promptly asks for a foot rub, to which he happily obliges.
Source: 1-crazy-dreamer 💗
I AM DECEASED!!!!
Combined with the ending of 4x08 this confirms that the Green Arrow is a cuddleholic, and I will watch this scene on a loop FOREVER!!! I could seriously watch the rest of this season/show just of them being affectionate and domestic like this. Your OTP could never!!
Oliver/Dig
Oliver goes on a little boys trip with Dig to try and find the killer of Emiko’s mother. I’m sooo glad they didn’t waste much time on this, and gladder still that they wasted no time at all on Emiko! Turns out the responsible party was one of the Longbow Hunters (yes them again), that Felicity found for them.
Source: ebett
I love how Dig/ARGUS/NTA spent the first part of the season trying and failing to capture these guys, then Oliver rocks up and takes him out with a tranq arrow in 2 seconds flat, and has no clue who he even is haha!
Source: feilcityqueen
They work out pretty quickly that Dante hired him, then promptly leave and that’s the end of that! I really like how the men weren’t minimised or side-lined entirely (except Rene *shrugs*), they just weren’t that significant in the episode. Boss Beth and her team did a great job here of not taking away from them in order for the women in the episode to shine, something that previous writing teams on this show have done over and over again in the reversed situation *cough* MG *cough*.
Sara
Sara frikking Lance is back!!!!
That entrance though...it was everything!! The way all the glass shattered was reminiscent of her first cry scene where she saved Oliver at the DA’s office in 2x03.
Source: supercanaries
I do think though that it was absolute bullshit that BS could beat Sara in a fight!
Then we got the previously teased Sara/Felicity scene. OHMIGOD I loved this scene so much!! I really miss Sara in Arrow, and this scene was just so perfect!! I loved their little friendly flirty-flirt!!
Source: felicitysmoakgifs
Putting together the two people in the Arrowverse that have killer chemistry with everyone was an inspired choice here, and it just makes me long for the Smoakingcanary friendship that we never really saw fully developed! We have a lighter Sara now, so they could not have had this level of friendship in S2, or even S4, but I always loved their relationship, even back then.
Source: eloquence-of-felicities
Sara has grown so much since she left for the Waverider, she is so much more reflective and a wiser woman now. I like that she doesn’t acknowledge BS as LL, but sees herself in her and still wants to help, and to honour Quentin. Lance sister scenes were always my favourite of Laurel’s, and the Sara/BS scenes have the same energy about them. I loved Sara’s speech to BS at the graveyard about redemption. Sara still doesn’t see herself as completely worthy, but acknowledges that she has grown into a hero, through her years of trying. So I cheered when she told BS “You think you deserve a medal for trying to be good for 5 seconds? Redemption isn’t a destination it’s a journey”
Source: canarygifs
Oh, that’s just the theme of the entire series!! Yaaaaassss!! Go Sara! I really hope we get to see her again this season.
Black Siren
Straight up, I was worried when I saw the opening scene…the overacting, yelling, annoying music, ridiculous unbelievable ass-kicking and then that title card?? 😬😬 ‘Evil’ BS is so campy in the worst way…I like ‘good’ BS, so that opening?? Yeah I had my doubts haha!
I enjoyed Black Siren’s struggle within the episode; what she really wants is to be seen and accepted as the good person she is trying to become. As soon as she was doubted last episode, her instinct was to revert back, an ‘if they think I’m evil, I’ll just be evil’ mentality. The problem is, as Sara told her, she was trying to be a good person for like a few months? She has a long way go to redeem herself and earn back the trust of people who know what she did as Black Siren before (see: Dinah 😬). Her beacon of hope (see what I did there?) is Felicity. She has been ever since she approached her at the start of the season. BS saw in Felicity an opportunity to avenge Quentin initially, and eventually, through falling for Felicity’s friendship charms (doesn’t everybody?), do good, and be that better person that Quentin and Felicity thought she could be. And despite Sara’s (awesome) talk with her, it’s Felicity in the end that persuades her which side to fall on in the end.
In the end, Black Siren realises/decides that in order to continue on her redemptive path, she needs to go back to where she started, Earth 2, and do some good there. How this fits with her appearance in later episodes in the season (spoiler pics) and her apparently large storyline next season is yet to be seen. Felicity’s face when she hears BS is leaving is heart-breaking 😭😭 Their friendship has been one of the unexpected highlights of this season for me; it has been so nice to see a female friendship on this show! I also liked how through all of her short-lived evilness, she never revealed Felicity’s pregnancy, even covering for her back in the lair at the end of the mission!
Extra BS moments:
BS pushing Felicity out of the way in the final fight scene 😍
Shadow Thief: “Which one is Felicity?” BS: “The chatty one” 😂😂
Source: minibetta
Source: plotbunnyshipper
Dinah
*Dramatic sigh* Ugh Dinah. She continues to drive me mad! She has some real moments of warmth (but I think that’s just Juliana shining through), but for the most part she’s just super annoying! She has a constant condescending tone, a terrible attitude, is massively hypocritical, and is so back and forth with her standpoints that she leaves me with whiplash most episodes!
I hated the way she talked down to Felicity throughout the episode, for believing in Laurel. Dinah believed in Vinnie, and the Team had her back (until BS killed him 😬). Dinah MURDERED PEOPLE TOO, and the Team had her back. She should have empathy for BS, having been in the exact same situation, but she doesn’t see it that way. I loved Felicity serving her up the tea in the bunker scene, it’s about damn time!
Felicity’s overall snark at Dinah this week was on point! Her “Please hold” and “Good chat, really love our chats” 😂😂 our girl really knows how to deliver a burn and still look cute doing it haha!
Flash Forwards
I have missed my flashforwards baby OTA!! Unfortunately we were missing William, Connor and Roy this week, cos Girl Power ✌ and all that jazz! But we did get to see some more Mama Felicity. Future Felicity is definitely more stoic and detached than our Felicity, but that changes when her kids are around; I loved the mother-daughter hug when Mia returned!
Source: felicitysmoakgifs
I’d forgotten about the whole helmet thing to start with, when I first saw it I thought it was Dig!! But helmet guy basically shows up at the start of the FFs and kills a boatload of Canaries. Did I giggle at the notion that anyone can be a Canary in the future, and that therefore they are totally interchangeable and dispensable in nature? Yes I did 😂 Anyway, Mia’s determination to track and take down helmet guy, to honour the dead birds, led to more Oliver (and later, Felicity) comparisons, which I am always here for!!
Dinah later actually gives Mia a really inspiring speech about the Canaries. That they are girls taking care of girls; a support system for women, so that they are there for each other when needed most. Dinah references a time when she did not do that (for Black Siren, presumably), and that that following that she changed how she worked. I’m hoping this means that Dinah will become more likeable in the present timeline for the upcoming episodes, but I’m not holding my breath.
Mia still isn’t used to relying on others, but she does ask Dinah for help and is refused, so her reaction to Dinah’s talk was just ‘yeah….no’, pretty much, with the line “Too bad I’m not a Canary”….and the Smoak burns keep on coming this episode 😂 😂
Source: amunetblack
At the end, as Mia nearly meets her end taking down helmet guy (as if he could have taken her!) she is saved by…Future Black Siren!!! Who is obviously alive still, back on Earth 1, and a goodie!! Yay!! I love that BS ‘saves’ Mia in both timelines in the same episode, nice touch! She gives Mia the helmet for Felicity, along with some sage advice:
Source: jaces-clarissa
I’d have liked to see her and Felicity interact, but you can’t win them all!
Bonus moments
Felicity: “Fake heat signatures? That is devious and impressive!” Lolololol!
That table slide!
Source: seeing-red-arrow
Source: smoaktechs
(I love that Felicity delivered the birds line 😂😂)
“To ladies taking down ladies”
And that’s it! Four episodes left 😭😭😭 I AM NOT READY!!
Thank you to all the wonderful gif makers! This episode has yielded SO MANY amazing gifs, so thank you for sharing them with us all! 💗💗💗
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