#i just want things to go back | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

egophiliac · 13 days

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queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎

I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers #coming in well after the fact but that's what happens when the art doesn't cooperate #and i just HAD to draw something for vil's ob (re-ob?) because i loved it so much #legit put my hand over my mouth and went “oh!” when i realized what was happening #i thought it was just going to be an idia thing because. y'know. closing out his character arc from episode 6 and all #so this was like. oh! oh we're going to get ALL the inky boys!!!!!#i wonder if this is why we got a malleus flashback so early...#not to mention everyone's dreams?!#i am braced for 90% of the dreams to be kind of jokey/inconsequential because we have SO many characters to get through #and most of the time will probably be spent on our lads (literally) dropkicking their emotional problems #but i am excited to see everyone regardless!#and also kind of terrified! what on EARTH will floyd be dreaming about. do i want to know.#i do but do i want to.#man. they're probably not going to get back to it but i do wonder what silver's dream was #what was he doing when he was like 'wait a minute' and noped right out of there #lilia: here silver i made dinner :)#silver: oh boy this looks great! ...YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD #ouuuagh i'm still deep in the blotsauce guys and i'm loving it #come make snowangels in the ink with me it's great

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lonesuperhero · 8 months

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I forgot how happy writing made me.

Reading all the comments my readers left me, the little notes in their bookmarks; it definitely helped with motivating me to keep writing. It kinda sucks that I fell out of it.

I would love to continue some of the fanfiction that got me started, but unfortunately I'm not really in that fandom anymore. Plus the lore and fandom itself has grown complicated and (dare I say) uninteresting.

Regardless, I think I might try to get back into writing. Consistent, publicly shared writing, I should note- I never really stopped writing, it just became more private, more one-offs of inspiration.

Plus I need to find something to enjoy, to hopefully give my life meaning again if something doesn't happen within a month--the gods know how close I am to the noose as of late.

Along with that, I think I'm going to trying making games or something. That has always been a thing I wanted to do.

#And well #its either that or i off myself because everyday for the past week that has been the number one thought on my mind lmao #like to the point ive considered hospitalization because im not entirely sure if i have the will to take care of myself anymore #im on two separate suicide-watch lists lmao maybe more #so at this point its either i voluntarily hospitalize myself #i get involuntarily hospitalized #or i succeed in killing myself #bc lol the one person who matters the most to me hates me and never wants to talk to me according to their best friend #who also at the very least really really doesnt like me #which is really fucking shitty of the aforementioned person bc they literally told me “no one hates you i dont hate you”#BUT AHAHAH THE FOOL IVE BEEN APPARENTLY #i should stop #i need to stop #im in a weird state of i want to be pissed at them but i literally cant be or if i can i cant stay pissed for long #i miss it #i just want things to go back #thats all i ever wanted tbh #i wanted things to go back to the way they were before

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knifearo · 7 months

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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

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salamispots · 7 months

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posting a gift wip since I know my siblings aren't on here haha

#rug hooking #wip #purely personals #fabrication #older sis is getting a swan and bb sis is getting an otter #went out today and donated a bunch of yarn at an art supply swap thing #was nice that they had small amounts of yarn/not full skeins that other people donated #because I don't really need a whole ass skein especially if it's solid color #I just want bits and pieces so I can do stuff like the swan background #like this a lot more than latchhook; like latchhook would be pixel art and rug hooking is more like drawing/more freeform #oH it's also nice that all that yarn I prechopped for latchhook I can still use for rug hooking haha #also went to a fabric store and it was crammed full of stuff and the yarn selection was actually really nice #will def go back

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kenntolog · 1 month

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can you do smth about loser gf n sukunas first date? i love them sm

𝝑𝝔 an: hope u enjoy this :)) read more about cool bf sukuna x losee gf reader here!!

cool boyfriend sukuna isn’t that original(he doesn’t even try to be) so he just takes you to see a movie and then plans to walk you home after that.

you give him the freedom of choosing what movie to watch and he, of course, chooses a slasher. you take the ticket he gives you with an excited grin, which excites him, and leave him to go to the restroom to check yourself out.

sukuna’s gaze doesn’t leave you or the path you walked on even for a minute as he admires the way you put a little more thought into your outfit, looking as sweet as ever, and added a little more makeup to enhance your pretty features. he’s not gonna lie, the way you did your lips really makes it hard to keep himself together.

to his amusement, you are still a little scared by the cheap jumpscares, hand visibly itching to grab his. sukuna spends most of the movie’s runtime watching you, absentmindedly biting the nail of his thumb and smiling at your cute reactions. the way you tightly close your eyes whenever a violent scene is on, the way you hiss and your face scrunches in disgust at the sight of someone’s fake guts on the screen, the way you squeal quietly when you get jumpscared — he finds you so adorable it’s crazy.

sukuna takes your hand at the first opportunity that presents itself: when you’re giggling at something he said and don’t notice a person walking by, accidentally bumping into them. sukuna doesn’t hesitate to grab your hand and pull you into himself, giving the person a nasty glare. you smile sheepishly at him, but don’t let go. he feels very peaceful, like he’s never felt before.

and to sukuna’s surprise, when he is ready to leave your address after walking you home like the gentleman he’s quite far from being, you, the shy loser who is hardly even noticeable if you don’t look carefully around the classroom, come back from your apartment, running after him, and soon hold onto his shoulders, standing on your tiptoes to plant a shy kiss on his cheek before hurriedly disappearing into your apartment again.

he can barely suppress the idiotic smile splitting his lips.

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fifthnailinstevesbat · 3 months

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steve “cant get out of bed till middle of the day, barely leaves his house or is never home, isolating himself from everyone, never takes time for himself anymore, depressed and is slowly losing more and more of himself every single day” harrington post 1986’

robin “i know you loved her, and it must’ve killed that she wouldn’t take you back, but nancy is happy steve and she still loves you. she’s not the only one out there for you, and you’ve gotta get over it. we miss you” buckley post 1986’, trying to help her best friend

steve “…this isn’t about nancy” harrington.

robin “wha-?… oh. oh steve.” buckley.

he still wears the vest.

#stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #stranger things 4 #robin buckley #yeah idk #i just thoight abt this #bc i miss my pooks #steve being so distraught after the events of s4 #and it’s understandable and everyone else is kinda the same level of shook up for a while #but for steve it just… continues #and nobody really knows what’s going on #robin tries to get him out of his shell without prying for so long #but eventually she just straight up tells him how it is in an attempt to get him to TALK to her #SAY SOMETHING #bc she thinks it must be he is heartbroken abt nancy #she didn’t want him back #and that’s so rough but #robin wants him to know that she isn’t the only person in his life that loves him #even if it’s not in the way he is wanting #but steve just #he just says; this isn’t about nancy #and robin is confused #then she puts it all together #then she understands.#eddie.

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time-woods · 4 months

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late night talks

#back at it with the lasso tool #love that thing sm #this was also like mostly done on magma bc i was feeling off with csp when i was drawin #chasing stars au #sīdus the fallen star #prismo the wishmaster #the carmine cavalier #scarab the god auditor #prohibitedwish #adventure time #fionna and cake #adventure time au #tf when you just want to hold the being youve grown oh so close to but you just cant build up the courage to do so #fear and love go hand in hand at times

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redgoldblue · 2 months

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'oh eddie getting jealous' this 'buck's first gay sex experience' that. what I want to see is, in the early days after Buck comes out, Tommy very gently pushing him against the wall in the lower level of the firehouse and sweetly but thoroughly kissing him goodbye before pulling back and smiling and leaving. and a 10 second close shot on Buck still leaning against the wall all blushing and giggly before we pan back to see half the Fam on the top level leaning over the railing as Chim wolf-whistles

#i'm kidding i'm fine with the first things. however i want this scene more than i've ever wanted anything in my life #i would also accept moving straight from the close shot to buck going up the stairs - only stumbling a little - and #hen just grinning and patting him on the back at the top #911 #kinkley #i've seen as the ship name we're going with?#personally i'm sticking to #buckard #but that's just bc it makes me think of cowboys and i like cowboys #9-1-1 #mine #911 spoilers #Evan Buckley #Tommy Kinard #tevan #bucktommy

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lunarin64art · 6 months

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Scollace Week Day 2: Pining(???)

Based on this

#scott pilgrims precious little life #scott pilgram vs the world #scott pilgrim #wallace wells #scollace #scollace week 2023 #I want to make their apartment on sims and watch them have gay sex(WOWIE ZOWIE!)#anyway this looks dumb and I can't draw in this artstyle #may have a few other things I want to draw based on the comics(I hate the netflix series lol)#but may just go back to drawing DR stuff I need to finish

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obsidianbit · 8 months

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I love this gay ass show with its literally life ending injuries that heal immediately, but only when convenient to the plot, and its ridiculous use of modern phrases, and its laughing in the face of historical accuracy, and its kissing the face of the fans instead of trying to outwit them, and the way everyone involved in the show seem to go 'I KNOW RIGHT! I'M EXCITED TOO!' instead of mocking the fans

#i have so many feelings #i can't quite express the way everyone involved seems to want us to love the show #like when you love something so you show it to a friend and vibrate with excitement while you watch them love it #so that you can scream about it together #it feels like djenks and the writers and the cast and the crew are in on the joke *with* us #which contrasts so sharply to the way so many fandoms find themselves to *be* the joke #the joke being how much we love the show #the fact that everyone involved cares *so much* about the show is really obvious #not just this is a fun show but this is a *meaningful* show #i truly have never felt so much like i have a community as i have with this show and the fans of it #it is also one of the only shows i can think of (maybe some of neil gaiman's adaptations?) where the trademark over analysing and meta #and theories of the fans isn't ridiculed #this ties back into the being in on the joke thing #back when we didn't know blackbonnet was going to be *canon* canon #and djenks reaction to us freaking out that we were RIGHT was basically #well yeah?#i want to write a love letter to everyone but i don't know how #ofmd #mine #our flag means death #david jenkins #ofmd s2 #ofmd 2 #kissing david jenkins on the mouth

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wyvernity · 2 months

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been thinking about the sinnohtrio lately......plus misc other stuff

also, casual ko-fi drop!! get something in this sketchy style starting at $10 woop woop

#finally decided to do a commission test run u_u #pokemon #trainer lyra #trainer kris #trainer dawn #trainer lucas #rival barry #rival silver #ayalumi #hisuian zorua #luxio #timeskip tag #rkgk #anyway it's sinnoh time !!!#still figuring out their designs and lore but this works for now #god's specialest little guys & their very normal bestfriend who they would kill/die for. up to interpretation who is killing/dying #dawn is the platinum protag who meets giratina and becomes champion #distortion world affected her way more than compared to cynthia and cyrus since she's still a developing kid. but hey cool ghost hair!#4-5 yrs later lucas gets blasted to hisui..lost his memory for the three years he's there and when arceus sends him back he's just like Man #the entire time barry is CHILLING PLAYING HAVING FUN #and forever worried abt his friends ): dawn & lucas are soo nonchalant about what happened to them it's a bit concerning to everyone else #design comments umm the only thing that matters is that they still have their og scarves 👍#and i guesss these are spring/summer outfits. winter dawn gets leggings and big coat ok. she already has too much yin energy #btw i use the cleanse tag as the direct opposition to the spell tag even tho that's probably not a real thing LOL)#oh yea barry wears the tower master ribbon 24/7. tower tycoon in training and won't shut up about it (i love him)#character dynamics i will talk abt that in another post if i feel like it... these days i just want to go replay pla aughh

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 7 months

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If I was in a lucid dream with a ghost, I would simply impress them with my blunt rolling skills

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #mdzs au #MDZS disco elysium au #This is brought to you by my Scrambled Egg brain - slowly burning up as I try to finish a long comic for this AU.#I hoped it would be done several days ago but I've changed things so many times....It is now Very Close to being done!#I probably should have just posted each page daily but at this point I'm just being stubborn. I want it complete and together.#Ruining the surprise a bit to say 'yeah its a digital art comic'#But its been tricky figuring out the style I want to use for it!#hence the swaths of MSpain(t) doodles that boil down to 'how would this look if I did X?'#I wanted to do a fully Black & White Ink style. But I scrapped it. Then I did small bits of colour. And scrapped it. Sigh.#This comic started out as just the first panel and then my brain went 'hold on. Its time to make a dumb joke'#Any disco elysium fans who finished the game probably know the scene I'm doing for the *actual* comic after seeing this <3 #Anyways I know in my heart LWJ would roll the worst blunts ever his first time. And then dedicate himself to the rolling craft-#-until he has finally mastered it. He would roll blunts so good that people would hire him and pay him a monthly salary for it.#But he declines. His master blunts are for his beloved and his beloved alone.#wwx would roll above average but after having lwj do it for him he can ever go back.

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knifearo · 2 months

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this year my challenge for everyone is to unlearn the association between love and morality. love is not something that is inherently morally good, and the absence of love is not something that is inherently bad. sex without love isn't morally bankrupt, it's just an action. people without love aren't less kind or less good, they're just people. when we can get past this false (and often unnoticed) dichotomy of good love/evil lovelessness then i think we are going to be able to take leaps and bounds in sex positivity, aro advocacy, certain discussions of mental health...