#i just thought i was being a hater and kept to myself but i feel validated now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

idlerin · 3 months

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nonsense — epilogue: 43. utterly nonsensical

masterlist — previous | fin.

✦ fun facts !

oikawa does make sure that he proposes when [name] leasts expects it (and in clothes she would approve of)

its been two years since the final chapter, by this time, [name] already has a stable job as a screenwriter while oikawa’s acting career is still booming.

[name]’s friends know oikawa has been wanting to propose for months.

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — 3/3! i don’t even know where to begin, nonsense has been an integral part of my life for around 2-3 years, even before i began posting the story on tumblr, before it was even called ‘nonsense’. it’s been on the back of my mind for ages, and when i started this story i didn’t even think it would take me this long to finish it. there has been a lot of times where i lost motivation in writing, and i never forced myself to create because then i just know the content i would put out wouldn’t be the same. so i wrote when i felt like it, when i wanted to, because i think you should never force yourself to continue something if you don’t feel like doing it anymore.

i’m also the type of person that would persist when i love something, and i really really love nonsense. i love this little world that i created and i hope other people loved it too. it’s funny how nonsense began as a silly little thought just because i ran out of smaus to read, and i really did not know how to even make one! i just relied mostly on my gut and thought to myself what i would like to read :). nonsense is very dear to me because it’s the first smau i ever made, i started this last year and i think the story grew with me!

i would just like to thank everyone who read, liked, commented, reblogged, interacted, and spared time for nonsense. i can never say enough how every single one of you mean the world to me, you guys were part of the reason i kept coming back and finishing what i left of. motivation is really the key problem i have, and i can say what motivates me is my love for the story, haikyuu, and you guys ❤️

i love all of you so so so much, thank you for being part of this story and hopefully reading nonsense had made you smile or even made your day.

now, onto my next work! (that i will most likely procrastinate on too, bare with me my darlings)

taglist is closed ! + (1/2) @kawaii-angelanne @ceneridiankaa @kittycasie @rukia-uchiha-98 @polish-cereal @kellesvt @rockleeisbaeeee @kashxyou @imsoluvly @jjulliette @tooruchiiscribs @littlefreakjulia @gomjohs @qualitygiantshoepsychic @mellowknightcolorfarm @konzumeken @migosple @kuroogguk @sangwooooo @katsu-shi @wolffmaiden @rijhi @2baddies-1porsche @yeehawcity @aishkaaa @crueldinasty @renardiererin @yyuiz @llamakenma @penguinlovestowrite @princelingperfect @hearts4faey @yoonabeo @pantherhappy @julia-1901 @godsbiggestmenace @angel-luv-04 @noideawhothatis @bethbat @natsvmie @luna-mothii @lylovw @apinu @leave-rae-alone @kamikokii @bananasquash @eitaababe @minimari415 @hanabihwa @nilopillo

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markantonys · 1 month

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I came across a Twitter thread that said the set up for the docks when it comes to the Warder bond between Lan and Moiraine was handled much better in the books cause in the show they feel like the mechanics of the Warder bond was too vague/not explained well in the show that they weren't able to connect with Moiraine and Lan's emotional conflict in s2 because of it. And I am a bit confused cause honestly I don't think the books explain how the Warder bond works at all from what I remember. Just making a lot of wild claims about how everything about the books are better and how the show is fumbling when they haven't even read half the series yet (show first to book reader). Just this trend to shit talk every choice the show makes when you don't even know the full complete story is wild to me

haters: the show hasn't done enough to explain how the bond works

all the screentime across 2 seasons the show has dedicated to showing how the bond works which the haters kept complaining was a waste of time better spent on rand having swordfights:

like literally what do they want lmao some people will never be satisfied!

but the mention of the "mechanics" of the bond is interesting to me because i think we may be hitting upon 2 different types of viewers here: the minority of lore enthusiasts who need to understand every single detail about how things work or else they will be upset and lose immersion, and the majority of audiences who are content with a general understanding of how things work and don't get hung up on details, or will at most go "hmmm i'm not sure if this makes sense, but it's a cool story beat so i'm happy to shrug and move on".

the former category were going "but what weaves is moiraine doing now? did they actually unbond and now she's remaking it from scratch? i thought the bond was only masked? this is such a plothole, it doesn't make sense, i can't concentrate on anything else about the scene" during the 2x08 moiraine & lan beach scene, and the latter category were thinking "what a beautiful and emotionally satisfying moment of seeing them come back together!" and that's it. and probably similar for the rest of the season. if somebody felt unable to connect with the emotional aspects of that storyline, i would bet it's because they felt too unclear about the mechanics of the state of the bond and couldn't let go of that confusion enough to sink into the emotional aspects. (which is really more of a personal thing; my show-only mom was definitely keyed into the emotional aspects of this storyline and didn't get bothered about some mechanics being left vague. in fact, i think she would've just gotten confused if they'd tried to explain the mechanics in more detail djkfjg bless her.)

undeniably, the show does not explain magic mechanics in as much depth as the books do. but that is because it's banking on the very fair assumption that the majority of audiences don't need to have this level of detail in order to enjoy and understand the story (and may get more confused than they need to be if they ARE given this level of detail). i'll admit that s2 was a bit muddled on What Exactly Is Going On with moiraine and lan's bond, and i found myself a bit confused by the mechanics at times, but that never impeded my appreciation or understanding of the emotional aspects of the storyline because i'm someone who is happy to shrug and move on if the mechanics of how something is functioning in a fantasy story aren't making total sense to me.

also, moiraine & lan at the docks won't happen until the end of s3 and it's very very possible we might learn even more about bond mechanics earlier in s3 via elayne and birgitte (who will be good candidates for explaining some New Bond Basics that it wouldn't make sense for moiraine and lan to talk about since they've had theirs for 20 years), so like..........maybe they should just Watch And Find Out.

it's also very interesting that this is coming from someone in the show-to-book pipeline because i honestly would not be surprised if a lot of their base knowledge for how warder bonds works was absorbed..........from the show. and they just don't realize it. granted, if they started with new spring it might be different because i'm assuming new spring goes into a lot of depth about how warder bonds work (though i don't know for sure, i haven't read it). but if they only read EOTW-TFOH, they sure as shit are not gonna have gotten much info about bonds *from the books* because we barely spend any time with characters who are part of a bond during those books. we get, what, maybe a couple chapters total of moiraine or lan pov and then start diving into it a tiny bit more in TFOH with elayne and birgitte, but it's really not that much from what i can remember - and i can't remember very well, because i went into the books already having a very solid understanding of the concept of the bond thanks to all the work s1 put into showing it. i do not remember learning anything significant about the bond in the first 5 books that i didn't already know from s1.

it's also so strange to me in general to see people start with the show, then go to the books, and then start hating on the show because as a show-to-book pipeline person myself, all going to the books did was make me go "wow thank fuck for the show, it will fix X, it will fix Y, it's already fixed Z" basically constantly. it made me 10000x more grateful for and appreciative of the show and the way it's choosing to tell the story!

#i won't lie a part of me is always like #'i bet this is a lifelong bookcloak making a fake account to pose as a show-to-book person'#whenever i see people claiming that they started with the show and then read the books and now prefer them djkfgjg #i know everyone prefers different things in stories and the show's priorities align way more with my personal ones than the books' do #and not all people will feel the same way. but it's just such an incomprehensible take to me as a fellow show-to-book person!#anonymous #answered #wot book spoilers

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idolomantises · 1 year

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Hello! I wanted to say that you made me feel very validated when you posted your mixed feelings about Hazbin/Helluva, I'm right there with ya. I'm very closed off when wanting to share my opinions, especially negative ones and especially on the internet.

Has your relationship/way you deal with the internet changed a lot over time or has it stayed pretty much the same?

I absolutely adore your art, thank you for sharing your thoughts and being open to asks!

oh no problem, i'm always of the opinion that its okay and good to be critical of things and i'm genuinely kind of baffled by people who aggressively oppose it. there's not a single piece of media i can think of that i both love and haven't said anything negative about it. acknowledging flaws is a good thing!

not that its something you have to do, like i dont approve of the notion that people who like a problematic piece of media or a media riddled with flaws, should be obligated to list off their issues before going back to consuming it. but that these sort of negative critiques should have healthy engagement.

i joke about being a hater a lot but i also just think there's nothing wrong with just being vocal about your issues with a piece of media. its fun to be critical actually.

like christ, the fact that you could not criticize helluva/hazbin hotel without fans crying and calling you homophobic, an abuse apologist and/or incapable of comprehending complex characters will always be silly to me. you can't defend your show by saying "these characters are in hell" and then call people some kind of "-ism" because they have an issue with something you like.

anyways with regards to the internet, i think the biggest change for me was being more mindful about what i say. in the sense that i had an issue with dumping a lot of very personal info that should be kept to myself + i've reached a point in popularity where people start taking my words as gospel, and no matter what i do i cannot control how people behave. you may notice on twitter, i dont really qrt takes anymore, because that's giving 300k+ pairs of eyes to someone who may have just made a pretty embarrassing take i could just ignore. you'd really have to push me to a certain point to make me feel compelled to respond that way.

i think something people dont get about me if they're only familiar with my art is that they think because i make cutesy content, i must be a "wholesome uwu" person as well, and then they're surprised to learn i can be very cynical, overly blunt and even abrasive at points. i like my personality the way it is but i do recognize that it can lead into behavior that comes across as flat out mean-spirited rather than light ribbing. and yeah i know, internet bad, everyone's a jerk online behind the screen, but i do try to be more mindful of how i engage with people.

or ya know, i can tell them "shut the fuck up" and block them. depends on my mood really

#ask quill

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heartshapedbubble · 1 year

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YOU GUYS WOULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST FINISHED⁉️⁉️

(jokes aside this chapter is heavy and when i say heavy i mean HEAVY it's the heaviest chapter ive wrote for now please read the tws and take care mwah)

childhood friends, a d.m. fanfic🐍// chapter 3

TW // descriptions and mentions of abuse, death, blood n gore (can get graphic so be careful), gender of reader not specified, sulphur hater community gonna go wild after this one, im inconsistent as fuck with the writing and the lore god save us, no proofreading we die like men, literally angst/trauma then fluff then i proceed to wreck incredible trauma upon desire, put your seatbelts on for the last part because oooh boy, teen desire angst mhm, desire needs therapy, me when i ignore the canon (sigma)

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A crumpled diary entry, the sides messily torn off and a lot of words aggressively scribbled over. The handwriting starts off neat and in a posh cursive, yet as the writing progresses, it turns to a manic, almost deranged shaky hand, a mix of unfinished sentences and unknown keywords, the paper wobbly and the ink blotchy due to the fact that it was sodden with the author's tears. The date is unreadable.

Today, it's my 17th birthday.

Today, it's also 6-years-and-something of my confinement inside the house. I stopped keeping serious track of time a while ago - I realized that thinking of it made me feel even worse than usual.

I still clearly remember the day when it all started. When i started descending into madness as all of my thoughts began to be blocked off one by one by hardcover books and the well-maintained white walls - I still harboured the fading pink scar on my palm. Yet, the worst scars were the ones on my psyche. They were like scabs - instead of forgetting what happened and letting myself heal, I did the exact opposite. I kept tearing apart the healed wound, reliving what I knew I should forget and what I can't fix. It fueled me, such bland and dull anger. I would scream, shout, dig my nails an inch deep into my skin upon the resurfacing memory, shunning my younger and my current self, while being fully aware I could never escape the situation nor now nor then. It's the worst kind of anger, the one that both riles you up and leaves your chest aching at the same time. It's not even the anger - it's the feeling of inevitable helplessness that you try so hard to hide. Beneath my thin veil of teenage angst and aggressive outbursts, I knew what i truly was. I saw the real me every night, hearing myself break down the second I locked myself in my room.

Even if he took my freedom, even if we had dinner together, even if I spent 10 hours a day studying thick textbooks that he spent thousands on, I could never see him as "dad". He never was one to begin with, so his countless attempts to make me consider him one were fruitless. I quickly forgot the burning feeling on my hand when he first hit me since he quickly resorted to physical violence as time went by. Cursed him under my breath as he passed by? You could bet his hand was tangled in my hair and my head was about to become one with the cupboard. Yelled back at him as we went for a walk together? His hand clenched my wrist with all its might and I felt like my bones could burst through my fingertips with each second he held it.

I looked out the window as I recalled. It was a sunny day, the beautiful flowers reaching over the fence from the neighbor's - their - garden. I opened the windows to soak up the sweet scent of lavender and lilac that the wind rolled over and waved around from side to side, north to south, east to west. As I savored the fresh fragrance, I caught a glimpse of my face in the surface of the glass. Two bright blue beads staring back at me and my uncombed hair framing my face. Nothing much has changed in my appearance, except my once chubby face thinning and sharpening with time and my shoulders growing wider. I was never lucky with my teeth, though - one of my canines grew over the incisors and made it look like a clumpy fang of sorts, as if I took a sucker punch to the jaw. It was a big insecurity of mine present even when I was a child and would spend hours in front of the mirror sometimes, making grimaces and running my tongue again and again over the bulging mass of teeth. I've kind of started ignoring it while growing up, but I can't say it's something I like about myself either.

After getting dressed, I headed towards my father's office. The hallway of our villa was long and quite plain for such a big, fancy house. Most gilded decorative motifs on the cupboards faded and a lot of paintings were removed, leaving behind rectangular grayish stains and nail holes. My footsteps were now muffled by the thick dark blue carpet spreading itself from the entrance to the small altar at the end of the hallway. "Altar" is how my father calls it, yet to me it was just a worn-out vanity with empty photo frames scattered on the desk, its drawers locked and the mirror dirty. I swore I saw him inspecting something in front of it, but maybe I was just imagining things.

At 11 a.m. I was already knocking at his door and inhaling the smell of printer paper, disgustingly expensive coffee and polished wood. Although the sun was shining and the window was open, he remained sat at the edge of his table, the shadows looming not over him, but with him. Knowing what follows next, I went and sat myself across the table. As I pulled my chair closer to the edge, I heard him whisper:

"No no no, come sit over here. We're going to do it a bit...differently today."

Not moving a bit, he just nodded towards a leather chair to his right. Taking my time, I scooted over to him and forced myself to look into his eyes.

"Did you eat today?"

"Not yet. I kind of slept over."

"That's no good." He stared into the textured glass of the cabinet door. As I grew up he started to get worse at talking to me. Eventually, my daily visits to his office became unavoidable small talks.

"Your exams?"

"What's with them?"

"You passed all of them?"

"Yeah."

"Wonderful to hear. Great." It was, as always, insincere. Whenever he complimented me there wasn't a change of tone or mood, he said it just as flatly as he said everything else. In fact, he kind of treated it like a chore.

"What's next?"

"Hm?"

"I mean, what's next after high school? I already passed everything in advance. Am I going to receive college education at home?"

It seems like that triggered a spark in him - he leaned forward, our faces now at equal height.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that today. I already thought about that and, well, the answer is quite clear. You'll be inheriting my business."

And that's when it hit me - at that moment, I realized that in my 17 years of age I never thought about what my father does for a living. He had a lot of fancily-dressed people over often and he was rich, so it was clear to me that his job paid well. What he worked on, I never researched. When I was younger, I used to lay down on the staircase and watch over him from behind the balusters. I saw his men bring in various oil paintings, collections of coins and stamps, marble busts of emperors and philosophpers, ceramic medallions and other artistic pieces that I thought of as simply luxurious and over-the-top decoration. What I do remember clearly, though, is that whenever the two of us would go outside together he had to run some errands in the museums or galleries. From my cut-up memory I deduced that my father was some sort of curator.

"What business? You never really... talked about your job. Besides, you're not that old! I don't understand why you would retire at fifty-something. And even with my advanced education, I don't think I have the qualifications."

"Showing you the ropes is the easiest part."

"I barely just finished high school. You really do have high expectations for me, huh?"

"Why wouldn't I? You're my son, after all. Everything is already planned out."

"But your career is already quite great. Why drop it now during the golden years?" I realized mid sentence that I was treading on scarily thin ice. One badly formed statement and my shirt collar is going to be in his hands. Sulphur had his tolerance and his boundaries, and once they were stepped over a few too many times, things could get ugly. Very, very ugly. I was no exception to this.

He clicked his tongue. "Everything has its own reason. It's not important for you to know why, and all you need to do is sit up straight and get your hands on this opportunity. You know well how many grubby little hands would fight tooth and nail just for a shabby position in my field. You should be more grateful and tone down your curiosity a bit."

"If it's not important, then I assume it's not harmful either. Is there any problem with me knowing why?"

"Stop being so nosy." He murmured.

He suddenly got up and shut the half-open window.

"Do not question my actions. I am your elder, and elders ought to be respected. Soon, you'll be sitting in my office chair, signing papers and sorting them instead of me. Phone calls and documents. It's everything you can get hang of in a minute. Now, shut your mouth and go to your room. You're free until tommorrow. 11 a.m. as usual."

I didn't go to my room. I didn't even flinch when he spit his venomous insults at me. Instead, I sat perfectly still, my eyes still locked with his.

"You sound very disturbed. What is it that is so unimportant that you don't want to tell me?"

This was the sentence that made Sulphur Mélodis snap.

"Listen to me Desire, listen to me!" He growled as his enormous hands reached for my neck. I writhed and fought back and even bit, but as long as his hands were choking me, he had absolute control.

"Let me go, you fucking jackass!" I spat into his face, fueling his anger even more. It worked counterproductively - he pulled me closer and closer.

"Listen. I don't have much time left. It's not important. You just have to-"

"JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

His voice became quieter. I could hear him breathe heavily between each word.

"It's them. They're onto me. Turned their backs on me. Backstabbed me. Once they find me, I'm dead meat."

"Who?"

"Them. The superiors. They decided I'm not good enough for them anymore. They can't benefit from me anymore. They think I'm a traitor. I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, Desire. They know where I live. Who I am. What I do. They know about you. They won't spare you if you get in their way."

"Wha... what will they do?"

"The worst thing you can imagine. Listen. I'm their primary target. As long as they get me down, they're going to be satisfied. If they break into the villa, hide somewhere. Stay quiet and once they leave, get out and lock yourself into the house. Take over my business with a nickname or something. A codename. Whatever. You have the butlers to assist you. They're already informed."

My stomach knotted. I felt sick.

"When? What? Why? I- how?"

"It could happen in a week. In a month. Eliminate me outside the house. Poison me. Stab me. Electrocute me."

He gulped, and for the first time in my life I saw something in his eyes. It wasn't guilt or sadness, it was fear. Pure, unfiltered fear seeping out of this giant of a man. If he wasn't who he was, I'd pity him.

"Listen. There is a boy. Out there. Waiting for you. He might arrive in a week or so. Take care of him. Take care of yourself. Teach him well. I trained you your entire life for this moment. You are the perfect heir. My perfect ... mirror image."

"What boy? Please! Tell me more! I need to know!" I couldn't let all the things I needed to know die with this man, the man who made my house a birdcage.

"PLEASE! Tell me about him! Tell me about my mother! Who are they?"

There were so many questions and too little time for answers. Looking at him in that pathetic, vulnerable state, I could feel sorry for that man. I really could. But such strong emotions were torn away from me with his own hands, being in the way of his idea of the "perfect heir". It was a fleeting rush of love before I looked at him again and remembered who he really was.

"Your b-"

That were his last words whispered to me, before his brains splattered across my shirt, his blood flowed down my legs, his entire weight rested upon me. His lifeless corpse, a bullet carefully aimed and shot through the window, a fatal hit to the head. I never returned back to his cabinet after that day. Locked and in eternal darkness, the body of Sulphur Mélodis rot and bled for years, the blood melting into the wooden planks and the bullet resting in his skull forever - like a pearl inside an oyster.

The boy was staring at an invisible dot on the wall. He was thinking. He slowly bit his thumb, and then, hesitatingly, looked up at me.

"Is dad here?"

It was hard to look at him. The same silvery lock of hair, the same greyish-black eyes. He reminded me so much of him, but he was softer, still somehow radiating childhood innocence out of the features I grew to hate.

"No. Dad is gone."

He bit his thumb again. A habit since infancy, I supposed.

"And mom?"

"I... there isn't a mom. I never met my mom. She left when I was young."

"I hope she was a good mom. I had a good mom when I was at the orphanage. She used to scold me for reading books at night under faint light, though. She said it's because I was hurting my eyes and that I would go blind."

"Oh. That sounds... nice."

"Was dad good? I don't remember much about him."

I didn't want to trouble him with my own burden at such a young age, so I just waved my hand. "It's not important. He's not here with us anymore, anyway."

"What's your name? I forgot to ask you. Sorry."

"Desire. Yours?"

"Saphir. Apparently my dad gave me my name. I guess he likes giving odd names."

"...I guess."

I didn't know how to talk to him. He was well spoken, for sure, but prone to zoning out and thinking all by himself. He reminded me of myself when I was his age - it made everything hurt even more.

"What are we going to do now?"

"Well, I don't know. I can make you a room up there. I'm not that good at cooking either, but I have recipe books up there. And a butler."

"It's okay. You'll do a great job." His hand reached out for mine. I couldn't help it but feel incredible love for the little guy at that moment. Such a small gesture, but it placed him close to my heart. I've never met my half-brother before, but even with such polarizing emotions at first it felt like I knew him for a long time.

The butlers and maids greeted the two of us as we sat by the dining table. Instead of sitting on opposing sides like I did with my father, we sat right by each other.

I got reminded of them. My friend. At least used to be, for a month or so. It has been years since we met. I tried to push them out of my mind to make place for everything else that my father considered more important, but they never really left. It was an unstable relationship - to appeal to my father I villainized them, yet when it was too much to take I idealized their childish, innocent kind of love they selflessly embraced me with. And even considering the fact that they were living in the house right next to mine, I never built up the courage to knock on their door again.

"So at that orphanage... what did you exactly do?"

"Ooh. Lots of stuff. Played around, did some basic schooling. I also practiced some martial arts. A lot of it, actually."

"Ah. Interesting. I did lots of studying here when I was your age. I even did fencing."

"That's so cool! This villa house thing is huge, it looks quite pleasant."

"Cool". They flashed in front of my eyes immediately. I looked at my little brother, lost in thought and silently staring at the cook dicing the vegetables. A melty embodiment of all the good and bad people I knew, I grew to love him unconditionally and try my best to give him the childhood I lost.

The following paper is messier and wobblier than the other two. After inspecting it better, it becomes obvious that this one was torn away and was part of the first paper. Yet, it was crumpled in a ball and thrown in the corner of the room - just behind the writing desk. Did the author simply not like the way they wrote it, or was it too much for them to process?

He laid motionless in front of me. His bloodshot eyes were unfocused and his jaw was relaxed. He was all mine, and I could do whatever I wanted with him. Step on his skull again and again. Bash his head with his own cane and ruin his face with its silver tip. Slice his chest open. His organs were still in tact - I could donate them. Do a good deed.

As I headed for the cane, everything flashed right in front of me. Everything I forgot, was forgetting and will forget. What I should have and shouldn't have forgotten.

The bruised palm. The bruised knee. The bruised arm - the bruised everything.

I remembered how he found out my ankles were weak and wobbly. Whenever I did poorly during our study session he'd quickly sweep my feet with the cane and watch me helplessly fall down the flight of stairs. It brought him so much laughter that he started to do it even when I did well. When I cried and held onto his coat to get up again, he'd push me again until I got up on my own.

I remembered him holding the blade by my leg as I practiced my handwriting. The second my lettering got wobbly he'd push it into my skin, and if I cried he'd push it even deeper.

I remembered that the second my hair grew long enough, he used it to yank me towards him when I tried to run away from him. He pulled me so hard that I felt like my scalp was bleeding.

I remembered when he sliced my cheek with a razor in rage, all because I wanted to ask him a simple question. It took months for the scar to fully fade.

I remembered him grabbing a pair of scissors during one of our worst arguments, trying to snip at my skin.

I remembered him violently banging on my door for hours when I ran away from him and locked myself inside my room.

I remembered reading medicine books self initiatively because plasters weren't effective anymore.

I remembered wrapping the cuts with paper tissues and tape when I ran out of gauze.

I remembered too much.

I threw my abuser's cane at the wall, ran to my room and cried, cried like never before. Even when I made sure he wasn't breathing anymore, I couldn't muster up the courage to get into a one-sided fight against his cold, dead body. Freed from my shackles, I remained a coward.

#identity v #idv #idv headcanons #identity v headcanons #idv fanfic #idv imagines #joseph idv #idv joseph #truth and inference #photographer idv #idv photographer #joseph identity v #identity v joseph #joseph desaulnier #idv dm #identity v photographer #desire melodis #saphir melodis

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broodsys · 7 months

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ive been thinking about this a lot lately and kinda just wanna say it somewhere.

that said, feel free to just scroll on by bc this is heavy. also super long? i just- needed to get it off my chest, kinda.

cw: sexual assault, alcohol and drug use

so, in highschool there were these two guys who were in my friend group but i wasn't rly friends with, we'll just say L and N. L had an obvious crush on me and kept trying to get me to date him even tho i had a boyfriend and he knew my boyfriend - once i ended up going on a date with him bc my autistic ass thought he was just trying to hang out, lmao. anyway, it was awkward, esp once my friends told me uhhh no that was a date? u just described a date.

N was a lot more chill but also kinda... he was nice and all, genuinely nice, but he was also one of those no no i'm not sexist i'm an equal-opportunity hater haha! guys. so i wasn't rly close with either of them

but when i went to college they were the only two ppl i already knew and i was rly overwhelmed about being all alone on campus at first, so i ended up spending quite a bit more time with both of them, in and out of school. and it was fun when it was the three of us! they were amusingly raunchy and we talked a lot about related subjects and went on walks together and idk, it was nice. this was before i realized i was trans but i think it fulfilled a Just One Of The Guys need i had at that time

got p close with both of them, esp L. ended up at his house by myself quite frequently. and, well, we drank - this being before i realized i had a unrelated liver disease. and by this point i was out as trans and my family was AWFUL about using the right pronouns and i had no in-person connections who used the right pronouns and i was... p desperate for validation. while also using both alcohol and weed quite heavily to cope

so, yknow... hang out with someone who calls me 'he', talk about gender shit, sigh and go along with the eight million dumb YT videos he wanted to show me, but whatever, i got free liquor and it was smth to do, right? i was even able to lean into being a system around him! that was super validating.

so, surprise surprise, we ended up becoming kinda fuckbuddies. and i was okay with that - p open that i wasn't interested in a relationship but like, sure, we can fuck around. so we did. usually drunk. usually quite drunk. but that was okay because there was still consent going on

but i had one very clear, very explicit boundary. and once he started to cross it - i called him out on it and he pushed back and i had to tell him to stop several times. it wasn't like... aggressive? just very, very coercive. took me a long time to accept that it was still a form of rape. hell, i still struggle to type that out, i want to add caveats to it. but it just was. and that was the big change for me, when i realized he wasn't actually going to respect my boundaries. still hung out with him for a while after that and we had sex a few more times while i was processing my feelings about everything and trying to accept that he was in the wrong and i had a right to be upset

but after that, i just started feeling rly shitty on the walk home whenever i left him. there were subspace/subdrop issues at play, too, which was another brand-new discovery for me, and no aftercare ever, but it was... yeah. it was bad.

still, took me a while to break off the relationship. i was actually at a conference for a school thing when i did it, because being around ppl who saw me as a man, who respected me, who treated me kindly... it totally changed how i saw interpersonal dynamics. like, that whole experience was a MASSIVE wake-up call for me. so that was when i cut him out of my life

now, oddly, this story isn't about L. it's about N.

afaik, N had no idea about any of this. but a while ago, idk probably over a year now, he sent me a nice text mentioning that he didn't know why we'd fallen out of touch. and i usually delete texts after a while but i still have that one. sometimes i want to reply - not telling him the details, just like 'yeah so me and L had smth weird and i didn't want to put u in a position where u had to choose' but also just- memories, yknow? i associate them together very strongly bc the three of us spent sm time together

but i still feel kinda bad. kinda miss N. i saw him become a better person while i saw L kinda become a worse person. i just feel... idk. torn? ultimately i gotta take care of me because no one else can, but i think about him quite often, and about that text i've never replied to. and i also spent time with N alone, and it was just chill. he never tried to fuck me. when i slept over he let me have his bed and made sure there were fresh sheets and everything. he watched me play videogames at his house and let me spend forever on character customization and made sure i had vegetarian food to eat. he was nice, without any strings attached. and we talked about, shit, everything. once we walked for hours and hours - p much the entire night - just talking. he rly opened up to me a lot, and i opened up to him - not about everything and not about anything with L, but about a lot of other stuff. it was an important friendship.

and i just... i regret losing that a lot. i've been thinking about both of them a lot recently. part of it is just coming head to head with things i was using weed to repress now that i've been sober for a while, granted. bc i've been thinking about a lot of things in my past recently.

relationships are messy. but i regret that a good friendship got stained by a bad one.

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tagapagsalaysay · 1 year

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Well I'm sick of being burdened with knowledge. TL;DR. Why is there a minor working for a known studio that brands itself as an adult animation studio? Where is the money going?

So everyone knows that project about the mermaid and the chef. Of course you do. It's been heavily advertised, it's even got dangling keys of being set in the PH. Low bar, but the animation industry in the Philippines is so open to fresh talent and projects and what not. So you look into it. Then you get hit by the fact that it's produced mostly by Americans, but it's PROBABLY Filipino-Americans, that's a thing, they're good pioneers. That's fine. Most of them are Asian-Americans anyway. Flag #1.

I'm known to be a contrarian. I hate on everything almost by default, I have contempt over too much of the local art scene for focusing on anime styles and highly rendered stuff too much. And so I kept myself from hating too much because I may not be giving them a chance. So I stepped back and observed what the project had in store. But over time it felt odd. Why does this studio commission so much promotional art? I can understand 3 pieces, but I couldn't even count how much they had exactly. It was a sheer amount. Some from known Filipino and Filipino-American artists, to other artists. But it was almost too derivative. Almost like they had just as much context as everyone else. You have the formula of the dynamic, which by standard should have been a yellow or red flag, of the usual. The characters in a vague dynamic of predator and prey and it's sapphic. But that's about it. And the constant reminder of it being WLW and Filipino. It was mildly annoying (and I did my best to just leave it be), but the sheer amount of artwork got me questioning whether they actually devoted enough budget for the production of the animation. Didn't even know they already had a Patreon feeding into the project, and that they werent a studio attempting to pitch for some funding. Flag #2.

I spent months of circling whether I was being too much of a hater. I spent time thinking whether they actually do animate, until they posted a short scene breakdown recently a few weeks back. At least some work is going into it. I was going to wait it out until something proved it existed or didn't a la Schrodinger. Run to the latest news of a teaser for the project. Mildly excited, mostly relieved that it was probably going to be more public because I feel like I'd have sleepless nights if I thought too hard about it. Still not fully out. Sure. More breakdowns, more scenes. More info coming soon.

But then I found out that it turns out that there was a minor on the crew. Which I found odd for a studio who wanted to uphold this image of a professional studio. Then I realized that it was even worse, because the project is supposed to be for adults and the entire studio is branded as an Adult Animation Studio. At this point I don't think it matters if it's haterism. That is troubling me deeply. Why do you have a minor on the crew? It doesn't matter if they're close to becoming an adult or whatever man, it's just super weird now. Your entire marketing hinged on the project being Adult. It's just so unprofessional at best and horrifying at most. Flag #3. It's just too much.

Conclusion is I really don't want to pick a fight with more studios. I'm sick of it. I'm just really bewildered, also not even the head of the studio's graduated from university yet. For the longest time it felt like a disaster waiting to happen. Which was fine to watch and see if it would fail, but they got a minor involved.

#post #I wouldve brought up that they had nothing much like a portfolio or whatever to even help people comvince they were real but eh...#its not my specialty.#THIS IS JUST A RANT.#if i pit this on The Other Site i would be doomed to hell.

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brzatto · 10 months

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Hello again! Since I started watching season 2 of the bear I've been building up some thoughts regarding the overarching plot and characterisation. I haven't been able to share my ramblings with anyone else, so I hope it's ok to share them with you. It's been a while since I've been this disappointed by the direction a show has taken. :(

I mentioned before on one of your posts that I saw Carmy as asexual, or at least not seeking a physical or romantic relationship with women. In season 1 I was so happy that Sydney was kept as a colleague/friend, which carries into season 2. I was legitimately hopeful to get just one show where the main character doesn't have a contrived romance storyline. I feel they always just derail the main plot for meaningless character interactions with terrible dialogue, with male and female characters never being allowed to just be friends. When Claire was introduced I audibly GROANED. Manic pixie dream girl has entered the chat.

The scene in episode 6 where Richie and Mikey are saying how in love Carmy is with Claire, how amazing she is, how hot she is—it felt like they were trying to convince me and not Carmy. You and others have said before how Claire just exists to be a love interest, and every scene with her does nothing except try (desperately) to solidify that. I feel like I'm being repeatedly beaten with a bat that has "Claire is nice so you should like her" written on it. The scene where Richie is legitimately upset that he messed up the generator and is worried Carmy will dismiss him—why was Claire laughing at that? I thought she was meant to be nice? That's what every character keeps telling me... Every scene with her drags, every character that mentions her name suddenly causes the scene to shift to focusing on Claire. It's like Claire is the centre of the universe and is pulling in and crushing everything with her gravitational pull.

When Carmy kissed Claire in episode 5 it made me lose hope for his characterisation. It was like I was instead watching JAW's character from Shameless. All nuance thrown out the window for a rushed relationship with no chemistry. His journey to heal from his traumas and come to terms with Mikey's death sidelined to make way for boring shot reverse shot talking scenes with Claire. Carmy doing restaurant business? Nah, let's watch him and Claire have some boring dialogue during a car journey.

Hater mode activated: Claire as a character is boring, shallow, and only added because "hur dur boy must like girl". Despite what her character was supposedly introduced for, I think her introduction just caused season 2 to waste time on meaningless fluff that actively made other characters worse by association.

I have 3 episodes left to watch but I'm feeling pretty low about this season. I shouldn't have expected an asexual main character because I just set myself up for disappointment, but the bear really had me thinking it wouldn't do something this lame. I'm still carmrichie for life though, your fics are keeping me hanging on. Sorry for such a long and depressing ramble in your inbox. ❤️

P.S. The scene with Richie and Mikey confronting Carmy in episode 6 really gave me vibes of Carmy being closeted and feeling pressured about his friendship with a girl (similar to what you previously said about the monologue in s1e8). I also got vibes of Richie trying to hide his own insecurities with women by being vulgar in this scene.

hi! <3

if i’m being honest i agree about everything :/ and i hate saying that this show’s disappointed me because all of my friends know just how much this show means to me and the steel grip it’s had on my brain for the past year since the first season first came out… i feel like i’m partially the problem because my expectations were probably too high + the shift between s1 and s2 was very drastic and i’m honestly not a huge fan of change either. i’m not sure exactly what i expected from s2 but the demo and remodeling of the beef felt very rushed to me… like the restaurant was undergoing very significant changes but all of that felt like it was put on the backburner in favor of focusing on the characters. and obviously a show will focus more on individual character storylines than settings (and i actually did really enjoy some of the growth we got for our side characters, sydney marcus tina and richie’s episodes were all amazing and i loved that sugar’s presence was much more prominent this season) but like you said the claire plotline with carmy felt very out of place and ooc… it just felt extremely weird for carmy’s character to make this jump from s1 where we see all the emotional trauma he still suffers from being so attached to mikey, how he uses the beef as a distraction for his grief but obviously those two things are deeply intertwined for him and by obsessing over the beef day and night carmy still remains entrenched in mikey by extension—there’s still so much about carmy’s trauma in relation to mikey that’s been left unaddressed and imo he still largely lacks closure and i was expecting that to be fleshed out properly in s2 but instead he spent all of it being infatuated with a girl we were introduced to for the very first time this season.

can i say something actually. ik the creators and both jaw and ayo have all said that there won’t be any romance between carmy and sydney but i feel like they actually will be endgame and the creators are just trying to throw fans off so they won’t expect it LMAO or at the very least the way the writers have set up the storyline leaves it open as an option if they do change their minds and decide to go that route eventually. i’ve said before that i don’t ship them but i think there is a genuine and undeniable bond between carmy and sydney, although i enjoy their relationship platonically their dynamic and relationship has waaayy more depth than whatever carmy and claire are supposed to have going on… and i hate disliking female characters for being bland and stale because 9 times out of 10 it’s never their fault that they’re written that way, but seeing how realistic, grounded and likable our other female characters are (sydney, natalie, tina) it feels like there’s less of an excuse for her to be that way. she feels like a generic self insert pulled out of a x reader fanfic 😭 i immediately got the romantic vibe from her and carmy even from the season trailer but seeing what we’ve been told about carmy’s character i was sincerely hoping that i was misinterpreting it and she was just his cousin or something lmfsodoajaoaj and it felt so cheap and tacky for them to pull the “actually she’s his estranged childhood friend and he’s always had a crush on her!” card in e6. i also agree with what you said about that conversation sounding like carmy being closeted while richie and mikey tease him… also was kind of put off by the way they were talking about her tbh especially considering the fact she’s supposed to be carmy’s age and we know they’re both significantly older? i’ve also actually never considered interpreting it as richie overcompensating in that scene since he was still with tiff at the time (who i actually loved… i have my beef with carmy and claire but i would stand by tiff and richie until the end of time actually) but now that you mention it i think that makes sense too… much to think about

i can’t remember if i’ve said this before in another post but i also really disliked how love triangley they framed all of sydney’s interactions with carmy in relation to claire… i understood the purpose of other characters instilling this seed of doubt in her about her partnership with carmy and whether or not she was capable of trusting him, really trusting him, but i feel like there were multiple moments of unnecessary tension between the three of them and like you said, i’m so tired of contrived romance subplots in shows where there’s a female and male lead. i love carmy and sydney as individual characters but the possibility of their relationship being romantic just genuinely does not compute with me in my brain… that being said though it genuinely was very wild to me that everyone involved in the show made it clear on multiple occasions that there was no intention of sydney and carmy’s relationship going in that direction, just for them to introduce some random white girl this season just to give carmy a love interest. like? this season was longer than the first one and they still weren’t able to flesh out carmy and claire’s relationship and dynamic the way they did with him and sydney in s1, they felt so incredibly rushed and it was ABSURD to me when carmy openly admitted to liking and even loving her because those are things that feel like they should be so monumental for someone like him, who is supposed to be emotionally traumatized and romantically inexperienced—it was honestly strange to me hearing him tell even richie that he loved him and you know how i feel about them so. anyways you pretty much summed up my feelings towards claire and her plotline perfectly, and i genuinely wish that weren’t the case but i feel like that plays a part in why i find myself so incapable of rewatching this season t_t and i know objectively the point of the plotline was to show that carmy actually isn’t at a place in his life where he’s capable of maintaining a healthy romantic relationship/balancing it with his work but it still just felt strange to derail from the whole grief theme/mikey plotline for that when i was expecting them to delve even deeper into that this season instead.

i’m assuming you’ve finished the season since sending me this—just in case you haven’t i’ll refrain from talking about anything else that might spoil you but i will say that the one thing they absolutely did correct this season was e7. i’ve been dying for a richie centric episode and that gave me everything i could’ve asked for, it was so so gratifying seeing richie find his niche like that and i’m so excited to see what else the series has in store for him. this season wasn’t all bad but i was admittedly disappointed by a few things—nevertheless all that being said i did actually genuinely enjoy how the season ended and where it left off; that felt a lot more like s1 to me and i’m eager to see how they’ll pick things back up between carmy and richie specifically next season… hopefully s2 is just a product of middle child syndrome and s3 will blow us out of the water

#sorry for answering this late i’ve been crazy busy lately and i was waiting for the chance to sit down and reply to this properly 😵‍💫#and of course i don’t mind! i love getting long messages in my inbox tbh #thank you for sharing your thoughts with me 🤍🤍#been meaning to give my thoughts on carmy and richie’s interactions this season as well… that’ll come later #ask

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polaesims · 11 months

Text

Get to know you - Sims Style

Thank you @puffkins2000 for the tag! 💕

What’s your favorite Sims death?

Tbh I'm not big on killing my sims (boring, boooo) so I'd say good ol' old age, especially cause bitches be dying at the wildest moments. But if you want me to be more fancy, I love drowning specifically in floor.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Maxis Match all the way!!! I only use alpha or alpha-ish cc when I can't find MM alternative.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Nah, never and frankly I never had to... like my sims just stay one weight their entire life unless I play with a gym freak.

Do you move objects?

Always. The grid is my enemy, moo is my saviour.

Favorite Mod?

Consort Age Mod, cause I love generational gameplay and seeing my sims slowly go gray is so nostalgic to me, and Zodiac Sings Mod, cause I was tired of twins getting different zodiac signs...

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

For TS2 I got a lot of them at once cause they were hand-me-downs from my mum's friend's daughter. For TS3 it was Late Night, I remember it vividly cause my dad thought the lady in a bikini on the cover was inappropriate.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

Neither, cause I play in my native language (it's way more memable), but if I had to choose LIVing speaks to me more.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Long story, strap in. So when I was still in highschool, I created a joke save to share with my friends and I made this elderly man whom I named Andrzej and he was a menace. He was a womaniser alchemist, who had like 20 children (5 of which I kept in household, and they were as chaotic as their father) and then became a kung fu master, married a werewolf and finally impersonated a Goth family member and stole their fortune. I love him. Andrzej forever in my heart.

Have you made a simself?

Yep!! I posted her!! She's way prettier though cause girlie's symmetrical. I usually just drop myself and my bf into my world and see what story progression does with me. (as of now I have 3 kids as a kids hater ;-;)

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

The black one I guess... I rarely use the presets cause they're ugly af.

Favorite EA hair?

The one from Island Paradise, the updo with strands framing the face.

Favorite life stage?

Young Adult or teens. I like teens more when I make mischievous bastards.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I can't build to save my life, but I love to decorate!! I'm mostly for the gameplay though (and making sims).

Are you a CC creator?

Yep! I'm new to this but I hope I'll keep getting better.

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

Not yet, I'm still figuring out Tumblr in general, but I have some mutuals, I hope to become friends with 😊!

Do you have any sims merch?

Nah, I never found anything subtle enough, cause I don't do on the nose merch very often (except band tees).

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I used to use an UNGODLY amount of cheats...mostly cause I was a kid, but I would make a pretty sim with loads of CC, then play for a few months with that one sim (mostly being a hoe) and get bored eventually. Nowadays I'm a big generational player and I can play with one family for several years. Just a couple months ago I finally finished playing with a family I started 4 years ago.

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

@sim-songs, @twinsimming, @pixelfrogslegs, @aroundthesims, @bioniczombie, @nectar-cellar, @nightospheresims, @rollo-rolls, @faerielandsims.

How long have you had Simblr?

Literally not even a month, but I felt instantly welcomed to this amazing community!!

How do you edit your pictures?

I use Procreate and then PicsArt on my iPad.

What expansion/gamepack is your favorite?

I just play TS3 nowadays so for that I will say Generations for sure!! I also can't live without University and Seasons. They are my big three.

I don’t know who to tag tbh... I feel like most of my mutuals already did that plus I'm new here so I'm kinda shy but let's say that I tag anyone that is interested in doing this and hadn't been tagged. Like you can say I tagged you!!

#ts3 #ts3 simblr #tag game #personal

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ginnsbaker · 2 months

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re: re: the love letter (details)

that quote is so good... but it's true... we're all haters.

hating danny is easy! you're right.. but i think that's why i love his character.. because... he's very obviously... seemingly selfish.. but that makes him human. especially when he tries his best to reason for all of the things that happened. and also the reader! and how you actively.. made them think thru it but selfishly still turned it back onto danny. (read, both danny and reader are human with realistic traits and emotions and i love it. oftentimes people write characters as one sided... so i'm just really glad yours have more dimensions!)

also i definitely don't view danny as an antagonist btw! i don't think anyone could be in such a story like this, but again... s'why i like all the characters so much. they all have their sides to the story. he's just is who he is. as the reader i feel like i should dislike him for what he's done though, especially when he asks the reader to.. keep it a secret??

and yes. leigh is. (i'm repeating myself.) selfish- i was gushing to my friends about this fic earlier before i wrote the love letter, i kept.. describing leigh's character in this as... bitter. (using danny, putting on a show for matt's spirit) and mean.. (when she finds out there's more things being kept from her and she lashes out to - anyone and everyone, etcetc.) and well yeah. leigh is just as flawed as danny and the reader, but it’s like you wrote “Her... directness is refreshing. In a world full of people trying to sugarcoat everything, Leigh just says it like it is. And yes, it can come off a bit strong, but there's something genuine about it. — Formidable.” and ahhh i could pick apart the little things you wrote for paragraphs and why it scratches my brain so good but alas.

long response, stort reply; i don’t hate danny. hate was too strong of a word. danny is human, so is leigh. and we’re all guilty to being selfish at some points in our lives, whether we like to admit it or not.

and honestly, i felt a little silly after submitting the long ask, but i’m glad you had a positive reaction to it. (plus!! you tagged it as a love letter— i know i called it that on a whim, but it made my heart flutter when you tagged it as such.)

thank you for taking time to read my words and respond to them! i also figure.. i’ll be back in this inbox with more love letters when the next chapter comes… so maybe i can claim an anon spot…?

Yes, exactly. I think he needs to do more growing up. I've been around enough to realize that men mature more slowly than women. which is explains why im so appalled by men my age and younger lol

him asking reader to keep it a secret was him not seeing that leigh has become important to reader, or that their relationship is, while still on an acquaintance-level, is layered with something magnetic.

i think when i wrote leigh, just piled on how the show wrote her. they did an incredible job on her. and i was also sourcing my from own experience with this girl i used to like.. who isn't the most pleasant person to be with and kind of aloof and standoffish. and that's what made her so charming to me. so im glad you're noticing that leigh's imperfection is actually her attractive trait.

I'm sorry if it took a bit longer to reply to this one, i was just working the whole day and working on chapter 7. so i set aside specific times of the day to check out tumblr and reply to asks :)

once again, thank you for your thoughts. keep them long, i love reading feedback no matter the length :D

#anon #if i bleed asks

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scottxlogan · 3 months

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Sinister Secret #5 references Scott and Emma sleeping together. Also before one of the Hellfire Galas Emma talks about Scott not staying over because she was so stressed she wanted to sleep alone. She also talks about him not liking that she sleeps in diamond form.

Hey anon!

I'm going to put this under a read more so not to make everyone have to scroll through this:

Let me preface this by saying I'm not anti-Scott/Emma (and if you followed my blog, which I don't know if you do nor do you have to, you'd see that as I've posted a lot about them through the years. Shipped them myself and do read the comics so again that's not what my rant was about), but to address your comment in regard to the Sinister Secret #5

It's ambiguous just like everything else has been in the Krakoa era. I personally took it as Scott's sleeping with Logan as well since they were trying to sell the poly ship between Scott/Jean/Logan and the comics were clear to indicate that those three were certainly up to something with one another. Again though, it was open to interpretation and ambiguous at best so there's room to think Emma too was a part of it and in the link I posted below where I had a very in depth conversation with another respectful Scott/Emma fan who offered up some points, you can see that I'll concede to the fact that Hickman seemed to be wanting the four characters to interact with one another in a romantic setting, but as soon as Hickman was gone it felt like it was over and Scott/Jean became the main focus (with a little side of Jean/Logan tossed in around other areas). They shut the poly ship down, which sucks and we'll never get a clear view of what was from it.

That being said the panels you mentioned about Scott staying over are in the post I linked and it doesn't say anything about him wanting to stay over that night. Just talks about Emma thinking about Scott saying she was cold in her diamond form and her reflecting on what he does and doesn't see in her and her inner monologue. To me it could be taken as sure they're together now or it could be from their past time together. It's deliberately ambiguous as was everything in this era and on the flip side as I mentioned in the link below when Scott said out of his lips the following conversation: "It's all that hair. Too hot for covers and it's too cool without them." (see below) thus indicating Scott was sleeping with Logan to know how Logan's body temperature was the internet exploded and haters kept saying that means nothing. That it means absolutely nothing in terms of them sleeping together, so if that means nothing for Scott/Logan then one could argue that the Emma thoughts about Scott saying her diamond form is cold could mean nothing too.

If it does mean something and says that Emma/Scott were still sleeping together, then the same rule applies to Scott/Logan here as Scott seems to be well versed on Logan's body temperature from personal experience. That being said I'm not trying to be anti-Scott/Emma at all and the post I've linked below is better at referencing this, but like seriously all I'm going to say on the matter further is that aside from the panels of Scott/Jean, Logan/Jean and Tony/Emma clearly sleeping together they've left everything up in the air with the characters and we shippers have our own head canons about what is and what should be, but the writers have deliberately left a lot of it ambiguous to give without truly giving. I think Hickman tried to give to everyone but got shot down and now, well, now I don't think the poly ship even exists anymore per editorial, but I do see that Scott is with Jean and Emma is with Tony and no matter how anyone feels about it (and believe me we all have strong opinions about each pairing) for now that's what is being written. I do like Scott/Emma together even though I personally believe after (maybe) Hickman they weren't together on a romantic level anymore and weren't given an opportunity to be of any kind of romantic status.

That said I also like Emma/Tony together as well. Again, highlighted in the link below probably better articulated than this is, but for those who want to skip the long text my complaint was about the Twitter fans who wished Emma death instead of being with anyone other than Scott. That's sick in my opinion and you can't change my mind on that. If you love Scott/Emma then fantastic. They rocked as a couple. I loved them too once and they made an amazing pair for a while before Bendis ruined it. Maybe one day they can do it again, but to those extreme fans who would rather Emma dead than finding any happiness outside of Scott, I think they need to get their priorities in check and grow up. They were who I was speaking out against, not Scott/Emma fans and if that wasn't clear before I'm making it clear now before I stop talking about this subject as I'd rather focus on other things in fandom that I you know actually enjoy right now :)

Thanks for the comment and hopefully you're having a great day anon and all is well with you!

#xmen #scott summers #emma frost #tony stark #james howlett #wolverine #cyclops #iron man #these are tagged for characters in the post #not going to keep dragging on drama #this is what it is and now i'm done #anon

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liesmyth · 1 year

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why didnt you like babel? genuinely curious, i haven’t read it myself but it seems fun

[disclaimer: there’s going to be like 2 or 3 people who know my feelings about this book bc I have talked about with them at length, and may see this ask and maybe wonder if I sent it to myself. I just want to preventively state, for the record, that I didn't]

*takes long breath*

I thought the writing was shallow and just didn’t have enough going for it to tackle the themes the story engages with AND make it an interesting, memorable story with characters I care about. The authorial voice is all over the book and it’s annoying + patronizing; I don’t need handholding and lecturing, and especially I don’t need it if the narrative manages to fail at what they mouthpiece characters are lecturing me about. It’s also really flat as a both a fantasy novel and an alternate history because the story just doesn’t enagage with the fantasy elements at all beyond the superficial. Like, if I’m reading a novel about an empire run on magic, I would expect the story to reflect some of the ripple implications of the empire being built on magic.

[Just typing this out makes me think “oh you know who did this really well? jonathan strange & mr norrel” and then I remember that Babel was marketed as “a response” to JS&MR and tbh... under this point of view, Babel is to jonatha strange & mr norrel what season 7 of supernatural is to dante’s purgatory. sorry to say]

Anyway, I freely admit I am a hater. I don’t like Kuang; I tried very hard to like her, checked out Babel because I wanted to see if she’d grown as a writer like I hope, and I shall now go into the world knowing she’s Not For Me and absolutely never touching another novel of hers. She falls into the sff “new adult” limbo of those books that are nominally adult fantasy because of their content; but also engage with the premise and the setting in a way that is very didactic and linear, often morally rigid, and would all around be a much better fic for YA novels — this isn’t to bash YA, it’s just to say that a certain level of simplification is baked into the genre and I can suspend my disbelief accordingly. My problem with this book was how much I kept hearing it was Nuanced when it feels like it was written by putting progressive book twitter into a blender and passed off as historical fantasy just to match the #aesthetic of the author’s academic work.

#ask #Anonymous #book talk #i think this is probably the strogest negative opinion i have expressed on this account since i made it #everyone say thank you anon and sorry anon #anyway obligatory tag rant is that i've sideeyed rfk since the grimdark edgyness & unchecked misogyny in the poppy war #and i hoped she'd mature into a writer i like but nah #babel rf kuang

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aseriesofunfortunatejan · 1 year

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I keep forgetting to write my thoughts about Part 8 (Jojolion). I don't have anything in particular to talk about, but as a resident Part 7 hater (/ex), I feel like I should give my poor followers an idea what my opinions are this time around.

I will try my best to make what follows spoilers free, however, it will include Part 6 (Stone Ocean) spoilers. Further Parts spoilers will be under the cut.

I clearly enjoyed it a lot better than Part 7. I kept dropping Part 7, which is not super typical of me (and didn't match how I enjoyed Part 6 either), and I had to regularly force myself to stop reading Part 8. I wish it could have been longer, because like other people pointed out, the ending wound up feeling a tad rushed.

I think Part 8 particularly shined at the start. I was pleasantly surprised to find out this part everyone always refused to tell me a single thing about was actually - and simply - a Mystery. The initial mysteries made brilliant use of the pre-conceived notions the reader would definitely have from having read or watched Part 4 in the past. Although I'm not fond of "canon AUs" which is exactly what everything past Part 6 is, Part 8 didn't have constant reminders of that element, and as I just said, made good use of its renewed use of a certain setting and certain characters. The "main family" of new characters also highly benefited from this format.

Unfortunately, this good use of mystery sort of weaned out as time went and the main mission was made clear. That being said, I enjoyed the specific placement/rhythm of certain flashbacks that revealed the truth about a certain mystery to the reader.

I liked Jousuke (I don't even know why people call him Gappy and at this point I'm too afraid to ask, so what I'm using to differenciate him from the first Josuke is a supplementary U... a wonder, truly), and I wish his - and everyone else's - definite autism remained obvious throughout the story. Yeah!! Fight me about it!!! He's a sweet and a strong little guy.

I was a bit underwhelmed by Yasuho, but not everyone can be Jolyne, so it's fine, I guess. She's nice, and her relationship with Jousuke is very pleasant. I think she's realistic and her "not so bizarre" experience is not an uninteresting addition to the story. You eventually get a glimpse of what was bizarre beneath the surface, and it's giving me food for thought. It did bother me how easily she was just sexually harassed or even assaulted - the justification is weak, and I don't like how casually this just. Happens. To fictional characters who happen to be women.

The following will contain spoilers for Part 8.

I was mostly underwhelmed by the ending. If the Kira family had to lose everything, I wish it could have been a bit more... ... or just, addressed at all. I definitely see how the ending scene, with the Higashikata family, is bittersweet, and I actually like that aspect - how Jousuke is included too. I think a stronger image of both Yoshikage and Kei, maybe in the past, had been shown. (If Part 8 ever gets animated, please give me this, the way Foo Fighters was added at the end of Part 6 👍 thanks.) Rai, too, but I definitely feel like there's an obvious reason to include an implication of how Yoshikage would have felt about this. (Which could be passionating, by the way. Though I'm obviously biased - was he ready to give up everything when he sacrificed his life to free Josefumi? Did he understand there was no winning then? I would take a short image of Yoshikage accepting Part 8's tragic outcome!)

Kei? Btw? Bestie they gave you nothing. What the fuck.

Something that is missing about Kaato, who is a very interesting character, is information about whether she was blindsided by the Higashikata family's curse. Did she know it before marrying Norisuke, or before getting pregnant with Joubin? Or was she only told when it was too late? I think whether she was blindsided or changed her mind should be an important part of characterisation. Both can make for great stories.

I guess for my own mental health, I will try to ignore the well-known loose ends in this part. Though I'm curious how they wound up being left behind - if Araki was genuinely rushed, or if he changed his mind about having certain things be canon, etc. (Karera bothers me... When did she take that photo. Where did she go. What)

Hato was literally the only nice person in the Higashikata family, lol. I'm curious how Norisuke, who's characterised as literally. Nice. Managed to raise such bad kids.

I might just be getting bored of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure's tendency to end on a rather extreme bittersweet note. "So many people die, but there's some good 😊" The bad often outweighs the good to me, and maybe it's just getting old. Though it could be interesting to compare how Part 7 ended, with the Jojo protagonist "winning" while Gyro lost it all, to how Part 8 did, with the Jojo protagonist actually losing his fight, while someone else gets the "win". Or maybe both stories just want to say that the Higashikata family keeps winning.

I think that's all I have to say for right now? I mean, I've made it obvious I fell in love with Kira, right? Don't ask me why, I don't know.

I really liked the little doodles in between chapters.

Like I mentioned in some tags earlier today or yesterday, I was thinking of representing Jousuke as a fusion in a Steven Universe style, but having finished the story, I think he's more so "if Greg also had to die to give birth to Steven." They're GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEE!

Lucy is bestie... ... ... oh and Johnny deserved that. Idiot

Oh yeah, and Tooru was definitely a character. I think Yasuho's point of view of him interests me more than he does at the moment.

#jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojolion #jojolion spoilers #jojo part 8 #jojo part 8 spoilers #jojo part 6 spoilers #so spoilers

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admirableadmiranda · 1 year

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Just a silly rumble of words; I didn't get into any of the works till this very year (first week January), at the loving pushing of a friend who wanted to drag me into the fandom pit. I watched 28 eps of the untamed and couldn't get past that cus of how we were stuck in the past and it was all very depressing and maddening lol. I picked up the novel and had no issues finishing it. To say it was a jarring experience finishing the novel and going into fandom spaces and the overwhelming love and stans of JC, I felt like I had walked into the twilight zone. I kept reading posts on him and thinking I had gotten the name wrong because I was seeing zero link in the slightest(I would even wiki names), then it became undeniable it was definitely 'him'. The fanart was the final nail in the coffin, why was so much of it with wwx and JC speaking after the end; a thing? It was overwhelmingly clear it was a mutual cut off and neither had a desire for the other to be around them. Every form of media I wanted to engage with all had that, I couldn't read fanfics, look at most art, even written analysis posts it was so OOC. I actively went looking for posts on why they liked JC, why they thought this and that, and every time it was just 'but he objectively didnt' 'that didn't happen though' It felt very isolating and confusing because I generally wanted to take an active part in the space. I can't say the JC rewrite was the only issue but rewriting in general was a very big problem in general. I even watched scenes and videos to see if the drama held weight to create this character but even then he was written in a more pitiful and likeable light but I still personally didn't feel it was fully justified. I'm all for liking unlikeable characters but this character wasn't even a shadow of the canon character I knew and I went in wanting and willing to understand and love him. I was (am) beyond excited to find people who did analysis posts and created spaces that follow the novel, I blocked tags, followed blogs, made a little space that was limited content but it was still content. To say I'm just exhausted and frustrated over this whole 'discourse' event, is putting it lightly. I always got push over content that didn't fit my taste but I would just move past it. My friend is even a fan of JC but openly admits to not enjoying the novel so only takes the 'lore' of the drama as real and we've never had any issues, I'll even send those push over posts of JC that come on my tl to them. It feels like we created a home on a mountain, happily existing in peace and then people come storming in saying we're evil and ruining their experience and active haters out to ruin the fandom. It's just bewildering, with all this being said thank you to you and all the other content creators for the content and I'm sorry and sad you're getting harassed for creating it but pls know it's very much appreciated and wanted. (And needed for my sanity lol)

Ah anon, I understand your cql burnout there. I myself had to skip from around the fall of Lotus Pier up to episode 33 in order to actually watch it as the backstory is just too long and really ruins the framing of present day and backstory that the book does so well.

I understand your confusion and frustration there. I had a lot of those same experiences when I joined the fandom, of being confused and bewildered at all this stuff that either vaguely or completely contradicted the book. It took me accidentally stumbling across a blog that actively did not like Jiang Cheng to revive my fandom love and then stumbling into a wonderful friend group that were happy to have me too in order to finally really start enjoying MDZS fandom. Sort of the same thing you did, only with more active pushback against fandom narratives.

Thank you very much for your kind words. It is currently a very frustrating time, but I won’t give in and let them have the tag. I conceded one fight, I won’t give in on this one.

The wheel continues to turn and people move with it. It will not always be this frustrating.

#asks #anon #anon asks #sweet anons

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justamessedupdisneyprincess · 1 year

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Dunno why I’m back so soon, guess my anxiety has been acting up or something. I’m surprised to see I didn’t get as much harassment posts thank god. Saw one person say bullshit that seems aimed towards me but aside from that one psycho all is good I guess.

I had a panic attack last week and ending up confessing to my older sister about everything that happened. I even told her about my fetish, which had me so scared to do I almost vomited. I was scared she was going to think I’m a freak and disown me as a sister as some people in my past did. She took it better than I thought and said it was a normal and a healthy thing. It is a part of being human. I was so grateful to learn my sister still loves me for being born this way. I am still too scared to tell my parents though as they are old fashioned and would definitely not get it. To help make me feel better she invited me over to her place to try and help me recover as my anxiety has been worse as of late. I had lots of fun! Sadly my parents fucking car got fucked up because some girl at McDonald’s messed up the hot chocolate cup and it spilled all over the controls so I had to take some meds after that scary almost car crash experience. The car seems to have somehow fixed itself the next day though? Still kinda nervous about it though.

I got quests of yore the board game! We found a game shop and she decided to play a game with me, I sort of went in blind as I know nothing about DND. We got it and played and it was fun, I got a companion which was a bear. I was struggling to come up with a name and she said Gary. We proceed to laugh a long time. We are on a quest to make lots of money to pay rent that will allow us to keep a bear. LOL

I’ve been up and down lately really, my social anxiety is way worse and I’m currently questing my sexuality and identity. I am thinking I may be agender and only into boys I’m not sure. I get bullied by lots of girls so even though I am attracted to all kinds of body types and I’m not fused by gender and have crushes on fictional girls I’m absolutely terrified of real life girls now. I was thinking I may be pansexual as well but yeah...women are SCARY dude. It’s very confusing... I wish girls like Abigail from Stardew valley were real...*sigh* in my country we get lots of what we call sheep. So if you’re not into make up and Twilight the girls in my country are immediately like “fuck you!”. Guys and non binaries aren’t like that tho. Not sure why.

And yeah, Barley and Abigail, I have a type LOL

We are trying to look for a new therapist but they’re all booked out. I have been getting lots of trauma related panic attacks but my family is helping me through it. I came here again because of anxiety of course like I said but uh....thanks to everyone who supports me. And please don’t listen to any bullshit rumours you might hear about me. People just don’t know how to fucking chill. You guys have anything better to do than to bitch and moan? Just write and draw things you love, don’t complain about people or make up nasty stories to try and gain more haters to join you. I know you’re watching me. You say I should grow up but who really is the immature one? Yes I had a bad panic attack that time. Yes I should have kept it anonymous. But I’m not evil. I just wish to be myself without seeing nasty posts. I said sorry but did you guys say sorry to me? No you didn’t. You kept going and did a lot of damage. So who is really the immature one? The one who felt bad and tried to explain why I was hurt and how we can make things better or the one who wanted to keep assuming the worst in me? Just enjoy the things you love instead of thriving in things you hate and trying to guilt trip others who like the things you hate. Stop making rumours and harassing others. Just stop. And not just me, anyone in general, I know there’s others who suffered from your wrath. Much like a dear friend of mine in December 2021 who practically saved me life. You know who I’m talking about, you hated on him for being like me. So just calm down, do you and I will do me. If you choose to hate someone over ONE mistake or one tiny trait like personal preferences than that’s just sad. Do what makes you happy, don’t go out of your way to make yourself angry by LOOKING UP the things you dislike. You do you, I will do me. Just learn to chill.

Again thanks to the people here who didn’t harass me. I really do appreciate it. I will just post and disappear again as tumblr does tend to be a DANGEROUS website. Place is practically crawling with cyber bullies. You guys should be careful too, please stay safe and if people try to attack you block them and maybe get off of tumblr. I hear shit about Twitter but I will not lie, there’s actually less cyber bullies there apparently. Deviantart is a totally safe place too. I did have some BS happen there before but the people behind the website don’t allow bullying and band people. So yeah. Thanks and stay safe everyone.

#onward #barley lightfoot #vent #sexuality #agender #gender #sexualities #quests of yore #bullying recovery #anti bullying #tw vent #coming out #self shipping #trauma ment tw #trauma

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