#i just really wish i could be different

[bennitastisch]

im in my first ever relationship and even tho we’ve been going out for 2 years now i feel like i could lose him every day bc my parents kicked me out even tho they promised me they would never do that and now i dont talk to them anymore and how am i supposed to know he wont do the same

#its pretty unfair to compare him to my parents #cause they r fucking cunts and he is lovely #thats why i feel like i cant talk abt this with him #but i feel like he thinks i should have already moved on frim that stuff but it onoy happened less than a year ago #i always thought my parents would come around if i only give them enough space and time #but now they ruined their chances with me forever #and i just feel like trusting someone can only lead to me getting hirt #and it scares me so fucking much #i need therapy so bad but theres no free spaces no one will take me #and i dont have the money to pay for it privately #and i dont have the energy to send an appeal to my healthcare provider for them to pay for the private therapy #bc im fucking done i feel like im at my limit every day #i cant take any more #whenever im upset i immedie wanna off myself #i cant keep going like this much longer #i also dont wanna go to a clinic cause im so easy to manipulate i would just leave there with a benzo addiction #i just really wish i could be different #someone worth being around and not some fucking mess that upsets everyone and is no use to society in any way #i dont want to work it will wreck me #i also cant not work cause that will wreck me #the only solutions for me as of rn (at least what it feels like) is therpy or death and i cant get therpy but im also really scared whatll #happen to my partner when i off myself #cause hes not really stable either and i have no idea what hell do #ben vents #bennitastisch

[fiepige]

Compilation of EVERY single time they changed Hobie's filter in the digital version:

Left: Theatrical release Right: Digital release

You might have to click on some of them to get a better look at Hobie, sadly I don't have a video editor that allows me to make better edits than these :')

#This took so long to make lol #cause I had to edit every scene with Hobie from both versions so I could watch them right after one another to compare them #I did this with ALL the scenes he's in also the ones where he's on screen as spider-punk #but they only changed his filters in these scenes so it was a waste of time :') #sidenote: no it wasn't it's never a waste of time to look at hobie I just couldn't use it for my GIFset lol #I also made a bouns one but I'm not allowed to post more than 30 GIFs in one post apparently so I guess I just won't add it then... #but Hobie was basically filterless during all these scenes in the theatrical version #I like that they gave him more different filters in the digital version #the only change I don't like is in the first GIFs #cause like that one post pointed out it looks like they removed his lipstick for some reason #also really wish I had a better video editor so we could get a closer look at Hobie but I did my best with what I had #also slowed some of them down to get a better look at them #been having this idea for a while and now I finally finished it! #which means I can go back to working on my fics now #hopefully lol #also lemme know if there are some other scens you guys want me to make comparisons of #cause I have both versions #the theatrical release isn't the highest quality though so if you know where I can get my hands on a better version lemme know ;) #hobie brown #spider punk #miles morales #spider man #peter b parker #jess drew #miguel o'hara #spider man across the spider verse #across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #atsv #theatrical version

[starry-bi-sky]

more clone^2 memes because i think they're funny

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #clone^2 #danny fenton is not the ghost king #so canon to clone^2 and clone damian the portal that ends up transporting damian to amity park is left pr ambiguous #so really how he got there could be one of many things whether it be through divine intervention or clockwork's doing or hell #it could've also been quite literally the 1 in 1 millionth chance that a natural portal opened up beneath him and sent him to amity #and was a happy accident #but the idea that the laz pits or another adjacent such entity heard damian wanting an older brother (he meant og damian but oops never- #specified) and then sends him to the one person who could fulfill that wish and make him happy at the same time. #was really funny to me within the context of the lilo and stitch meme. the meme can also be seen the other way around with danny as lilo #and damian as stitch. but danny being stitch was infinitely funnier and ~technically~ more accurate imo #danny technically IS a nice angel but also. he's a developing menace to society (just ask wes) and he's going to make damian one too #danny being from the midwest means he has a midwestern accent and thats not something the bats know how to handle when they finally meet hi #hey look at that! my meme making skills are steadily improving. im no longer making the same joke six different times in different formats #those first two images i made a few days ago the rest i made in the last thirty minutes in a spur of clone^2 induced inspiration #and procrastination of writing the cfau rewrite of the first post. we are 10k words deep folks and just barely got past the 1st gala reunio #dunking on the giw is a god-given right and danny WILL pass it down to damian

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[jerswayman]

i think we all know it's you who never wants to leave brando

#brad marchand #brandon carlo #boston bruins #bruins #nhledit #hockeyedit #hockey #nhl #also can we please talk about the dog in blazer?!?! #TINY DOG IN TINY MAN'S BLAZER #TINY DOGS AND TINY MANS #he's gone full husband mode though. we love to see it! #j made a thing #brandochand #i still believe the ch in brandochand represents charlie c bc they're ot3 in my heart #also i need you all to know how much of a nightmare this was to colour it was so washed out but overexposed #just an absolutely dreadful gifing experience #ok that's definitely an exaggeration it really was ok i just wished it was filmed from a different angle #where the lighting was more even so i could have done something nicer with it #bc this was v.cute on marchy's part

[rythyme]

really not a fan of boston very explicitly saying "I want to be exclusive romantically but not sexually" only to be told "You're lying to yourself. I think you should be alone."

#like... p'jojo. you gave us 3wbf??? what's going on bud #only friends the series #ofts #am i misinterpreting boston? did I miss something? is this just a poorly executed representation of something else entirely?? #idk this really just did not sit well with me #i love pretty much everything else in this show so i'm disappointed that this was the last thing we got #bc I've been saying this the whole time!! boston DOES want a romantic relationship and he's spent the whole show coming to terms with that #he really does love nick #and he wants romantic exclusivity (see: Boston getting upset and jealous when Nick is with other people) #but physical stuff doesn't need to have the same exclusiveness for him and that's literally fine #idk i just wish that last conversation had been written slightly differently. a couple different wordings could have fixed it all for me #like if Nick had SAID ''i can't do a non-exclusive relationship but i hope you find someone someday who wants that with you'' #that would have been fine #not ''i think you should be alone'' #idk. just really sat wrong with me #lgbt drama #thai drama #theo.txt #100

[kiwinatorwaffles]

I WAS SEARCHING FOR THIS LINE FOR SO LONG I CANT BELIEVE AROMANTIC/AROACE EDGEWORTH IS LITERALLY CANON

there’s literally so little rep of us anywhere ever and a character rejecting marriage is commonly a shorthand for showing their lack of interest in romantic/sexual affairs (especially sexual since it’s a teen game without talk of those subjects) (and because as much as the dev team loves wrightworth they’re never making it canon) so i’m attacking these crumbs pleaseeeeee PLEASEEEEEEEE

OBVIOUSLY PEOPLE CAN HEADCANON WHATEVER THEY WANT (aa people can definitely be in relationships like im a huge wrightworth enjoyer too) BUT OH MY GOD. aspec rep is literally so hard to find in popular media please just let us have this

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth #i KNEW this bitch was aroace before i even really knew his character and i was RIGHT #also quick rant my main issue w people shipping aroace characters isn’t that they’re aroace #it’s because they’re never written correctly and just treated like another allo person #we are a spectrum! we are different! it’s not gonna be the same writing us! #wish people could at least do research or ask an aspec person when writing aspec characters 😭 #kiwi’s aspec posting

[comradekatara]

my greatest flaw is that i would lowkey ship sokka/azula if i wasn’t so convinced that azula is a lesbian. bc just think about it. they’re both these hyper logical calculating masterminds with debilitating perfectionist complexes to hide their perceived worthlessness, so they’re constantly achieving, and while they never feel any real joy in winning, they get actually suicidal the second they fail at anything. they think everyone who can’t keep up with them is some sort of idiot because they refuse to live in a world where they are in fact more intelligent than most people, including the adults around them. they love making the most insufferable puns you’ve ever heard and get offended if no one laughs. they have daddy issues and mommy issues. they share so many of the things they have wrong with them. so like. just imagine how amazingly awful they would be as a couple. they would indisputably make each other worse , but in the most disastrously entertaining way possible.

#they would be SUCH a terrible couple. they would take over the world together. it would be awesome #pretty much every water / fire ship configuration involves them making each other worse #katara & zuko also have too many flaws in common #and katara & azula doesn’t work on any level but is SO juicy #both despite and because of that #the only exception is that sokka & zuko do make each other better unfortunately #I wish it could be a perfect quadrant delivering four different flavors of Nightmare Couple #but unfortunately zukka would work. really well actually #like canonically #azulasokka is still the funniest possible one tho #and I still think their friendship has the potential to be so awesome #just constant wordplay and bitching about idiots #toph mentions in passing what a trainwreck it would be if they ever dated #and sokka laughs until he cries while azula chuckles but is secretly thinking ‘why is that so funny? i would be a perfect gf...’ #azula #sokka #azula&sokka #unique kind of post for sokklas AND antisokklas #schrodingers sokkla

[cluescorner]

I gave myself a writing challenge and I am fascinated by it

So basically I put the robins in a randomizer to give them a new order/role (because I just...kinda wanted to see what would happen + I like role-reversal AUs) and got results that are giving me a fucking brain blast.

Stephanie, the first sidekick who defines the role

Tim, the sidekick who dies and comes back wrong

Dick, the sidekick who saves Batman from himself

Damian, the sidekick who was never supposed to be a sidekick but would go on to prove everyone wrong

Jason, the youngest sidekick who is still the Kid Wonder

...So this is fucking wild. I've got some ideas and several of these fit perfectly (Dick's role is pretty similar to his one in canon), but some of these are fucking INCREDIBLE to explore (Steph being the first Robin is something I never even considered but tbh I kinda love it).

I probably won't write a fic or anything because tbh I don't like publishing my writing that much, but I might expand this into a full AU and post about it. I might randomize other stuff too (ie, stuff that I cannot change vs stuff that I cannot keep the same) but this fucking rules as a starting point.

#uhhh what am I calling this?? #randomizedrobinsau #stephanie brown #oh my god I am so excited to figure out how tf to write this. #because she's my favorite of these characters and having HER be the first sidekick + the one who has a mentor/older sister relationship #with the others?? kickass. though I'll probably keep her and Tim's relationship as 'dating-then-exes' because I think it's funny #and then SHE can be the Robin who Tim got fixated on + figured out her identity?? holy fuck and then the angst of Tim later dying #Tim Drake #tbh I kinda wish he'd gotten a different position because 'sidekick who dies' Tim has kinda been done a lot with the standard #reverse robin aus. But it'll still be fun to write. Definitely going the Joker Junior route with this because Batman Beyond kicks ass #Dick Grayson #He'll honestly probably be the easiest. Like...his role has not changed much outside of being younger/not the one who defines this #But I still think it'll be good to see how well I know Dick beyond his eldest brother thing (which is my best way of relating to him) #Damian al ghul #damian wayne #oh this is gonna kick ass #Bruce does not want his son to be a sidekick but Damian just kinda forces his way into that role #and everybody doubts him because of his history with the league but he later proves himself more than capable #to the point that he can set out mostly on his own and still thrive #Jason Todd #Jason being the baby of the family is also something I have never thought about but holy shit it could kick ass #I really hope that I don't roll 'Jason must die' or 'Robin 5 must die' on the randomizer. I just kinda want Jason to live this time #But unfortunately I double-screwed him because he's on the 'must happen' wheel twice now. I did not think these prompts through #TBH I am so happy that none of them rolled their OG roles. because that would have been so fucking boring

[kyouka-supremacy]

So no sskk?

#😭😭😭 C'mon 😭😭😭 #We deserved it!!! After what the anime did to us!!!!!! #On a different note Dazai finally died 🥳🥳🥳 Love wins #I guess I'll look at that panel of Akutagawa carrying Atsushi bridal style (not really but I'm coping) till the new chapter comes out. Eh #I wanted them to fight... We really can't have nice things #Ugh. WE REALLY CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS I'm okay actually I just. Nnnggggggghhhhhhhh #I /know/ the manga doesn't revolve around sskk (unfortunately) but I can't help but wish they'd have more screentime... #By the looks of it. Since Dazai absolutely can't die. Some ada ally is going to write on the page to rewrite everything soon #(page that they acquired somehow in the meantime. Don't ask. I just don't think there's any other way this could go. #A Ranpo ex machina or something) #And the arc is going to be soon done with. But I don't want it to end yet I want my juicy sskk conflict... #I wanted them to deepen the “I know you're still in there” “Why did you save me” plotlines... C'mon... #(((I wanted homoerotic bloodsucking))) #(((If we have a whole vampire arc ending without even a single scene of homoerotic bloodsucking in it #you're never going to hear the end of me))) #Alas... Maybe there's still hope. #I hope the skkers enjoyed the skk (╥﹏╥) #random rambles

[uselessnbee]

what i wish people would also explore more when it comes to Percy is the other side of his feelings about his mom about family and his childhood but this fandom is too afraid to paint Sally even in the slightest bad light (even if it's not bad just acknowledging her flaws because she's a human being and not perfect) that no one will touch on that subject. like yes Sally is the best mom but she also isn't and that's the thing! She isn't perfect! but she tried her best but her best still got Percy hurt and it isn't her fault at all but that's the tragedy of it. i want Percy's feelings about this explored. how he grew up with a loving mom but an abusive step father. how his step father would humiliate him and call him stupid but then his mom soothed him and told him he's not the things Gabe calls him. how Gabe would hurt him and Sally would be there to make him happy and loved but at the same time she stayed with him. i want Percy's feelings explored about how he knows his mother loves him but her absence still hurt him. she would work so much to have money to raise him she did that for him but at the same time it meant Percy was left alone or with Gabe. Sally gave up so much for him, she sent him away to protect him but at the same time he was sent away from his mom. she's the only parent he has because his father is absent and Gabe is not actually a parental figure at all but she's also often absent in his life too and that must have left him with such mixed feelings because it's not all black and white! Sally's love protected him but also hurt him. Percy loves his mom so so so much but there's also this deep-seated bitterness and hurt and anger he never let himself feel and then the guilt for having those feelings because his mom loves him he knows that and she gave up so much for him and she married a monster that abused her to protect him, he knows that but it doesn't make it hurt any less. the mess his emotions are because he knows his mom suffered for him and did it from her love for him but he still desperately wishes she never married that monster that he wouldn't have to have the childhood he had with him that he wouldn't have to live with the trauma he was left with. this all is exactly what makes their relationship so fascinating and also heartbreaking.

or the idea of Percy having weird mixed feelings after Estelle is born because that's his little sister and he loves her with his whole heart and would do anything for her and wants only the best for her but there's also this little jealous monster deep down that wonders why she gets to have a loving mom and a loving dad and a happy normal life but he never got that. why does she deserve it but not him? why couldn't he have that too? doesn't he deserve that too? he was just a child too so why why why??? and then the guilt of feeling that way too it makes me want to scream. emotions are fucking messy and they can be really ugly and they can make you hate yourself and there's no way Percy's feelings aren't a mess when it comes to this and i want to see it explored so badly!

and with Sally too! her feelings about Percy because she did so much and tried her best but sometimes unfortunately your best isn't good enough and it still got her beloved son hurt and she hates it and feels so guilty but she just has to live with that but she can't help to wish it was different. that their lives would be different. better. normal. she can't help but to wish she didn't have to do the things she's done, didn't have to suffer so much just to protect her child. can't help to wish she didn't have to worry so much, didn't have to be so scared about Percy, didn't have to be terrified that one day he won't come back home to her, that she won't be able to hold her son anymore because he will be gone, she just wishes he didn't have to suffer so much, she just wishes and wishes and wishes

and i just wish people weren't so afraid to explore this because it's so heartwrenching and yes if you want something do it yourself but unfortunately i cannot write nor am i able to handle this topic in a way it deserves so i am left only with rambling about it on here thank you

#i am not trying to victim blame or anything i love Sally and she did her best and didn't deserve any of the crap life gave her #but there's just something so tragic about the fact that she married a vile man and suffered abuse to protect her son #just for her decision to hurt him anyways just in a different way but the only other option would probably be Percy ending up dead #so she can't really truly regret it but she just wishes those weren't their only options #that she didn't have to do this just so that her child could stay alive #thinking about it makes me go feral #they had no choice but to suffer there was no way for their lives to be without this much hurt and trauma and it's terrible #and they didn't deserve it but there was so much love too #but the horrible thing is that that love just wasn't enough to save them from all that pain and i need to be sedated bye #percy jackson #sally jackson #pjo #hoo #percy and sally #percy jackon and the olympians #whatever you do don't think about a six years old lonely Percy sitting in a corner waiting for his mom to come back home from work #and he knows she loves him but he misses her so much when she spends so much time in work and that hurts #don't think about a ten years old Percy being sent away to a boarding school and he knows his mom loves him #but what if she's sending him away because he's just too much? or not enough? and what if she doesn't want him anymore? #and he knows that's not true but what if? #i'm thinking it #okay i think that's enough

[thefinelcountdan]

Okay I haven’t seen anyone talk about so I guess it’s gonna have to be me, was watching across the spider-verse and couldn’t stop thinking about how the style of Gwen’s universe feels like it takes inspiration from these covers of this run of Spider-Gwen.

I can’t find a lot of screen caps from the movie so I don’t have a lot of evidence for my point but like, the bleeding vertical lines, the color pallets, I remember being in the theatre in the scenes when the color pallet was a lot of orange and purple (kinda like that screen cap with her father) and I couldn’t stop thinking about the second cover.

No idea if it’s intentional or makes sense, anyway across the universe is a cinematic masterpiece and I wanna watch it a scene at a time when I get the chance.

#across the spiderverse #spider gwen #gwen stacy #across the spider verse #across the spider verse spoilers #just in case #the art on display in this movie just hits different #I really wish I could have found more screen caps I feel like there are scenes that would fit my point much better

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

hey bud, you got a little somethin on your... uh... off of your.... um... hm.

#my exact thought process before drawing this was #'hm i wonder if the puppets have stuffing inside or like... meat. man i wish i could just peel their skin back and look' #and so i uh. peeled wally #and like i posted about it earlier but i Want to draw gore and hey!!! why the fuck not!!! #all this to say im excited for when wh earns its gore warning #its gonna be tasty i just know it #on a different original topic coloring this gave me a headache <3 its not nearly as eyestrain-y as it was before #i really gotta work on my color skills bc i Do want to draw eyestrain stuff too. i love big colors #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home fanart #welcome home puppet show #tw gore #tw skull #tw rotting #lemme know if this needs more warnings #i am... unsure #i may lovingly mutilate wally some more later #and i Do do it out of affection

[puppyeared]

people who do STEM or administration as a career full time and continue to do art as a hobby, I am scared of you but like in a hot way. youre like if we were allowed to have cold drinks in winter. i look at you and think of miles morales with his two cakes. do you want to make out sometime

#i say all of this positively bc i just! i cant help admiring it!! even if its mundane or not a big deal to you i seriously cant wrap my head #around it.. this is in no way at all meant to be condescending or anything. whenever i look at someones bio and theyre like oh im working #as a lab assistant biologist pharmacist realtor etc im like woag.... thats insane.. and then i peep your art tag and it knocks my socks of #how?? what lives do you lead??? im so curious. i seriously want a peek inside your brains someday. or at least shadow you at work lol #i cant help but feel sad when someone says smth like well i have to support myself and art cant do that for me. or maybe you were #pushed into pursuing a 'safe' career bc i hear it a lot. all of my relatives have the same story working as nurses and OFWs for the family #i think for me its not about missed potential but rather its being sad about making a decision to put your happiness aside to get by #ive tried so hard to do it but it didnt work out. i guess watching you guys do it is fascinating to me #or maybe youve made peace with your decision or actually like what you pursued but im still amazed!! it makes me wonder what made #you pick one over the other in that case.. is it like putting time for two different things the way you would for a schedule?? hmmm #im doing graphic design so i dont really interact with ppl in other faculties even humanities like sociology or childcare... so i cant help #wondering what it must be like as someone whos pursuing visual communication both as an interest and career #i seriously wish i could do smth like a desk job or even admin and maybe ill try that if this doesnt work. or i could look into trades #but dyscalculia already makes it hard to do things like cash and mental math so i get overwhelmed if i think about this too hard #yapping

[familyofpaladins]

@tmaynt Day 23: Favorite Human Ally

At first I wasn't sure who to do, I love April and Casey, but they had their own days, so I thought I'd focus on some of their other human allies. I thought about doing the Professor from 2003 (Not Professor Hunnicut aka the Fugitoid, The Professor who's name we never learned but was invited to their christmas and never commented on the fact that the turtles were turtles). Also thought about doing Silver Sentry because he's a cool dude, but wasn't sure if a superhuman counted as human lol.

THEN I remembered Cody Jones, and I love him. He's the descendant of April and Casey and is brilliant like his Great Grandma and eager to fight along side the guys like his Great Grandpa. He's a turtle fan boy but doesn't let that cloud his vision of them. He gets to have a silly fun time with the turtles, and the guys get to be out in public during the day thanks to being brought to the future. He's honorary little brother to the turtles <3

#i doodled cody like ... 20 different times just for fun because i found i really liked drawing him lol #although i occasionally felt like i was drawing danny phantom because of his hair lol #HE'S JUST A LITTLE GUY #he wants to prove himself to the turtles and help them and their his friends and literally the closet thing he as to family #(his uncle doesn't count because he's an asshole) #glad the guys went back to their time but also wish we could have gotten more of the future and cody #TMayNTDay23 #TMayNT #tmaynt day 23 #tmnt 2003 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2003 #tmnt fast forward #cody jones #03 cody jones #03 donatello #03 donnie #famofpaladins draws #wow i really should have used different colors for the caption on that first pic

[icewindandboringhorror]

boy in silly sitting positions compilation

#cats #I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol #I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh #I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day #so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the #writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird #to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in #it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something #''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way #you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj #Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future'' #things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up #with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just #stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house #in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty #that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn #There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not #even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy #birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public #ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take #anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some #things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like #2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were #playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol.. #Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my #evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas