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#i immediately thought of ALL when i read this line
flowerandblood · 2 days
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Refinement (Oneshot)
[ canon • Aemond x little sister • female ]
[ warnings: incest obviously, oral sex, smut, angst, sexual tension, obsession, mention of arranged engagement ]
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[ description: During her Name Day, his younger sister wants to run away to the city. Things don't go according to plan, however, and he, as her older brother, wants to comfort her. Anon request. ]
Part 3 of the Appearances, can be read as standalone story.
My other works: Masterlist
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To his delight, the months before their nuptials he and his younger sister spent in each other's constant company, growing closer to each other. At first she would shyly visit the places he usually frequented, the library or the courtyard, and he was content to interrupt his own affairs by having at least a short conversation with her.
Although he resented discussions about nothing, usually tired of them, with her he could have a light conversation all the time − her questions and answers were always thoughtful and balanced, sometimes filled with a sweet naivety or curiosity from which he felt the heat in his lower abdomen.
"Today is my Name Day, lēkia (big brother)." She cooed sweetly, grasping his fingers in hers − his hand against hers seemed rough and large to him, hers, on the other hand, smooth and delicate as silk.
He murmured under his breath, looking at their intertwined fingers thinking back to the evening the day before, when he had guided her hand under the material of his breeches again, as usual demanding relief, which he then reciprocated with his characteristic devotion.
He wanted her to be convinced that he would make a good husband.
"I know, dōna hāedar (sweet little sister)." He replied calmly, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, thinking of the gift he had prepared for her, a beautiful necklace created especially at his command. A girlish, happy smile appeared on her face, a kind of excitement and anticipation emanating from her that intrigued him.
Something was going through her mind.
"There's one thing I've been dreaming about." She whispered, and he leaned back, stretching comfortably in his chair; they sat together under a beautiful, ancient arbour surrounded by a garden, opposite them only the view of the sea, spreading low beneath the walls of the keep, the sound of wind and leaves all around them.
"What is it?" He asked lowly, fiddling with the small ring on her finger which he had given her just after their father had officially confirmed their betrothal.
A symbol that she was meant only for him, the sapphire eye surrounded by a frame of intertwined golden stems and leaves shone brightly in the sunlight.
He heard her twist in her seat, delighted apparently that he had asked the question. She grunted quietly.
"I wish to escape to the town tonight." She said lightly. He looked at her with a smirk full of amusement and indulgence, convinced that she was teasing him.
"On the dragon?" He asked mockingly and pressed his lips into a thin line, swallowing hard when he felt her take her hand from his grasp, her gaze clouded, her brow arched in pain of humiliation and disbelief.
She stood up from her seat and, shocked, he watched her silhouette disappear between the tall shrubs with his lips slightly parted, wondering what had happened. He moved behind her immediately, sighing impatiently − as he got closer he grabbed her arm and forced her to stop. She looked him straight in the eye, tears of rage in her eyes.
"− forgive me, I didn't wish to −"
"You can leave the keep whenever you desire. You can fly on Vhagar whenever you desire. But I can't. I am a prisoner of these walls, our mother does not allow me to travel anywhere. Is that what amuses you so much? Is that what you mock?" She asked in a shaky, embittered voice, wiping the tears from her red cheeks with her free hand, her lower lip quivering with nerves.
He touched his fingers to her cheek, but she rejected his hand, making him put more strength into pulling her close − she hissed in discomfort when his fingers tightened on her waist covered only by the thin material of her soft gown.
"I would never mock you, sister. However, you know it is not a matter of our mother's bad will, but of your safety." He replied slowly, trying to say each word with reason so as to explain to her that he did not intend to offend her.
He understood what she desired, but he would have gone mad at the thought of her leaving the keep only in the company of the guards.
"What danger would I be in if my betrothed accompanied me?" She muttered with a bitterness from which he felt his throat squeeze, only now understanding what she was trying to convey to him.
She wasn't complaining to him.
He swallowed loudly and hummed under his breath.
"Is this what my future wife desires?" He asked quietly. She looked at him with a pained expression and nodded, looking into his eyes with hope.
Having no other choice, albeit reluctantly, he agreed.
They made arrangements to meet at one of the side passages that were rarely patrolled by guards − both of them sneaked down the narrow stone steps clad in grey robes and cloaks under the cover of darkness, the sky above them cloudless and full of stars.
"You are to stay close to me. Understood?" He asked warningly, and she nodded quickly, looking up at him happily, her plump cheeks red with excitement and joy.
He murmured low, delighted when her warm, soft lips clung to his in a tender, sticky kiss − he locked her in the strong embrace of his arms, cupping one of her cheeks in his palm, her fingers stroking his neck and jaw making his manhood throb hard in his breeches. He pulled away from her and sighed heavily, tense.
"Let's go."
It seemed to him that as they stepped out into the main courtyard of the town, lit only by torches and bonfires kindled by night merchants and bards, she was intrigued by everything that was happening around her − his fingers entwined with hers as they walked arm in arm around the crowds of shouting, noisy people. She looked up at him with a wide smile and hugged her cheek to his shoulder when she noticed his anxious, grave face.
"− I am grateful to you for your dedication, my love −" She said softly and he sighed heavily, kissing the top of her head.
He wanted to return to the keep as quickly as possible, fearing for her safety, but she insisted that they move towards the various stalls, watching intently as the men roasted meat over large fires, which they then sold. They stopped hearing a theatrical play from a distance, men dressed as women pretending to be his mother and their stepsister, Rhaenyra.
"You will not take the crown! My son the drunkard will sit on the Iron Throne!" Thundered one of the men in a too-tight green gown, his voice pretending to be high and feminine − a third actor appeared on stage, a blond-haired young man who was apparently supposed to be Aegon.
When the man began to pretend to vomit while clutching their mother's breasts, loud, mocking laughter echoed all around them. He saw that his sister looked away, her lips pressed together, her eyebrows arched in confusion and embarrassment.
"Let's go." He said lowly, regretting that she had seen this, but believing on the other hand that even if he had wanted to, he could not keep her unconscious forever.
The kingdom had no love for them, and their safety was apparent.
"I regret asking you to do this. Forgive me." She muttered as he escorted her to her chamber, the joy and contentment gone from her face, replaced by sadness and disappointment. He lifted her chin with his finger for her to look at him, recognising that he should better prepare her for what awaited them.
"The kingdom is divided. The only thing that unites our family now is the person of the King. Nothing else." He said lowly, and she blinked, thinking about his words, swallowing hard after a moment.
"And our blood? Our heritage?" She asked uncertainly, and he involuntarily snorted at her words, shaking his head.
"If our sister had our heritage, dignity and the future of our lineage in mind, she would not have made her bastard son her heir to the throne." He hissed coldly, looking her straight in the eye − he knew something had changed in his face, from which she twitched all over, in her expression something he recognised well.
She was afraid of him.
"− sister −" He whispered softly, stroking her soft cheek with his thumb, wanting her to understand that although filled with anger, he would never harm her.
"Against good customs, will you stay by my side? Will you let me fall asleep in your arms?" She asked quietly, and he swallowed loudly, feeling his manhood momentarily swell and pulse in his breeches, betraying an overwhelming desire to comply with her request.
He hesitated, wondering what their mother would say, but seeing her pleading gaze and her need for closeness, he decided that he could not deny her his presence when she articulated that she needed him.
He was to be her husband and she was to be his wife.
His place was with her, always.
That was why he agreed and followed her into her quarters, looking around beforehand to make sure no one would disturb them. They both pulled off their cloaks − his sister turned her back to him, startling him completely when she untied her breeches and the simple grey tunic he had brought her earlier, staying only in her snow-white nightgown.
He looked away, embarrassed, feeling his heart pounding like mad, not knowing what to do with himself.
He had never seen her in such a negligee before, and although his whole body screamed to look at her and admire her beauty, he wasn't sure it was appropriate and worthy of her honour before their nuptials.
"Come, brother." He heard her soft, warm voice once she had laid down on the bed, extending her hand to him.
He moved towards her, pulling his boots off his feet, laying down beside her with his heart in his throat, involuntarily noticing the outline of her sweet breasts under the thin, translucent material of her shirt.
He sighed quietly as her whole body snuggled into him instantly, seeking protection and comfort − unwittingly his arms locked around her waist, his hands sinking into her hair and buttocks, his lips placing a warm, lazy kiss on the top of her head.
It was her Name Day, and she was distressed and frightened, to which he had unwittingly contributed.
He swallowed hard at the thought, feeling involuntarily guilty, not knowing what he could do to comfort her, to turn her thoughts again from what the future might have brought.
He, her husband, was supposed to protect her and their future children − it was his role to worry about what fate would bring, not hers.
He shuddered when he heard her quiet voice, combing through her soft dark hair with the tips of his fingers.
"If I am to become your wife, why do you treat me like a little child?" She asked regretfully, and he felt his hand stop in mid-motion, the air stuck in his lungs.
"I do not follow." He replied lowly, feeling discomfort in his chest hearing her words.
She raised herself up on her elbow, looking up at his face − her eyebrows were arched in sadness and uncertainty, her full, shiny lips clenched into a thin line. He dared to touch his thumb to her cheek, wanting to soften whatever was about to leave her mouth.
"If war is coming, you may need me and Saraxes. Just because bloodshed is not my desire does not mean I am blind. Do you think I'm not a true dragon because I don't have your white hair and violet eyes?" She asked in a trembling voice with a reproach and pain from which he felt a squeeze in his throat.
The thought that she had felt rejected and left out by everyone all this time like himself made him quickly lift himself up on his arm, pressing his nose against her soft face, her hot, trembling breath enveloping his face.
"No. No, my love. You must understand that it is my weakness towards you, it is my fear that makes me wish not to endanger you." He muttered, horrified at how she perceived the whole affair and his actions, that he, gods take pity, thought her foolish or incapable of understanding such complicated, male matters.
She read the same books as he did, spoke to him as an equal on subjects from which he would never have expected a woman to have extensive rhetoric, not because he thought them incapable of it, but because they rarely delved into it.
Yet here she was, well aware of the importance he attached to sword-fighting, knowing as much about his history of the various weapons, their parts and how they were used as she knew about poetry or philosophy.
She swallowed quietly, her eyes shining in trust, in hope, as his mouth brushed hers encouragingly, her lips parted invitingly, allowing his tongue to slide deep into her throat.
She moaned sweetly, innocently as the tips of their tongues licked each other tentatively with a quiet clicks again and again − she sighed as he gently pushed her to lie on her back, trailing his fingers over her soft face, the wonderful scent of her oils filling his entire lungs, her lips fleshy as sweet fruit.
"− brother −" She murmured between their loud, tender kisses, her fingers entwined in his hair, one of her hands removing his eye patch from his face with an impatient, confident motion.
He looked at her, at her pretty face without fear or shame, sure for several moons now that the sight of his scar, his sapphire eye did not frighten her, that she loved him whole.
His sweet, tender, devoted sister.
She pulled him to her by the neck, her lips, impatient that he had pulled away from her for so long demanded another warm caress, his slick tongue ran over her palate making him, though he tried to control himself, completely hard.
"− take me −" She whispered and he felt the air stuck in his throat − he broke the kiss, looking at her with eye wide open in shock, panting heavily, her cheeks flushed with shame, her gaze pleading, full of desire. "− please −"
"− I − gods, you know, you know how much I crave you − but we can't, not before our nuptials −" He muttered wearily, once again seeing on her face that cruel expression of embittered disappointment that was breaking his heart.
He suddenly remembered what Aegon had once told him about, how a man's tongue was capable of giving a woman wonderful pleasure, and though he was ashamed to ask him for details, he decided in an act of desperation that perhaps it would help.
His gift to her, proof of how much he cherished her.
"− let me do something else − do you trust me? −" He asked in a trembling voice − something in her gaze changed and she nodded quickly, her fingertips ran over his cheek in a gesture so tender he felt his throat clench with emotion.
She was perfect.
"− spread your thighs − do not fret −" He added quickly, seeing that her whole body had gone breathless and tensed at his words, uncertainty in her eyes. He heard her swallow hard as she obediently followed his command, she drew in a loud breath as his hands lifted the material of her nightgown higher, above her hips.
"− ah −" She mumbled, in some subconscious, innocent gesture trying to cover herself back up, horrified that he wanted to expose the most intimate part of her body − his hands stopped her, his gaze fixed on her face flushed with emotion.
"− let me, my sweetest − let me take care of you − I won't hurt you −" He whispered, and she pulled her hand back, placing it beside her face, her puffy lips parted slightly in an accelerated breath.
She trusted him.
She trusted that, as her future husband, he knew perfectly well what she needed.
He let out a loud breath through his mouth, trying to hide his own nervousness, his trembling hands gently exposing her swollen, leaking womanhood that he had caressed so often with his fingers.
He involuntarily licked his lips at the thought that her folds looked like the flesh of a fruit and indeed when he ran his thumb over them, they were as usual wonderfully moist and warm to the touch.
Her body arched backwards as he began to gently tease her puffy bud with circular, slow motions of his thumb, in some subconscious involuntary reflex her thighs spread wider in front of him, making his aching cock pulse hard in his breeches.
Gods, how much he wanted to take her now, to sink deep inside her, to feel how tight she was.
"− close your eyes −" He commanded, knowing that if she looked at him he would never do what he wanted out of shame − he heard her swallow loudly before closing her eyelids a moment later, her chest rising and falling in uneven breaths.
She trembled when she felt him lean in, his warm breath enveloping her now swollen folds, glistening in the starlight from her own wetness − something about the sight, the smell of her made him run the tip of his tongue over her slit, her hands clenched in his hair, her body arched back, wanting to escape, a loud, surprised moan escaped her lips.
"− g-gods − brother − what are you −" She whimpered and cried out as the fingers of his free hand tightened warningly on her plushy hip, pushing her back to him, his thumb squeezed and rubbed her pearl making her squirm before him in pleasure and disbelief.
"− be quiet −" He ordered impatiently, sinking his face into her soft, warm womanhood, his tongue ran over her folds again, invading between them for a try, teasing her swollen bud with his finger.
He sighed loudly as he felt how hard her legs trembled in his embrace, heard her tighten her lips and stifle the moans that wanted to escape her throat, felt his cock twitch hard as her fingers pressed him closer to her bare flesh.
She wanted more.
"− brother −" She mumbled, spreading her thighs wider, wanting to feel him deeper − encouraged, he forced his tongue inside her, invading the very tip of her upper wall and the spot where he usually dug his fingers in, teasing her pearl with strokes of his thumb. He felt her fleshy, hot, tight core begin to throb, the wonderful taste of her moisture spreading across his palate, making him gasp in delight.
He could already understand why Aegon had spoken of it with such enthusiasm.
She tasted wonderful, like the flesh of a ripe fruit, ready to sink in and bite into it.
His sweet sister.
"− mmm −" He gasped out, pushing his tongue all the way into her, feeling her hips begin to respond to his movements with rocking of her hips, reaching out to meet him. He licked and sucked her pearl, rubbing it with the tip of his nose, still pressing it with his thumb, a quiet, lewd sound of slurping and clicking of her wetness all around them.
At last she fell apart, a long, intense fulfilment shook her lovely body, sweet, girlish, innocent whimpers erupted from her lips − she begged him, babbled his name, calling him, pressing his face against her leaking cunt, delighted that he was licking devotedly everything that spilled out of her.
"− my sister's sweet nectar −" He gasped with devotion and delight, again and again rubbing her opening with his rough tongue. His hand slipped down to his breeches, sliding under them, grasping his swollen, aching cock, squeezing it at the base, not stopping his caresses, intending to pet her like this all night and come on his own hand.
"− brother − no more −" She mumbled out, terrified that he wasn't stopping, her over-stimulated, sore insides clenching greedily around nothing, her hands trying to gently push him away but to no avail − he only hummed under his breath, stunned by the warmth of her flesh, her closeness and her scent.
She smelled like sin.
"− I'm afraid I intend to fall asleep tonight with my face between your soft thighs, my love −"
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urhoneycombwitch · 2 days
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breathe in the air
eddie x reader x steve. part i
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foreword: this is part one/set up for a fic I’ve been chewin’ on. cw is for both parts and will get updated- no actual smut in this first one but please heed the tags anyway. +18 mdni as always. (@somnambulic-thing you inspired me to write from Eddie’s pov! 💖)
cw: smoking (weed and nicotine), R’s hair is mentioned but unspecified texture/length, also wears Eddie’s shirt, R has breasts + V,  Eddie and Reader are both varying degrees of stoned while performing sex acts (please be safe IRL and don’t read if that makes you uncomfy!!), pt. ii will have: voyeurism (Eddie and R fool around and Steve watches), blow jobs, masturbation, both the boys being Down Bad™️
wc: 2.5k (part i)
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The sun has sunk low over Forest Hills, Eddie’s room cast in deep blue where the golden path of his bedside lamp doesn’t touch.
He’s lighting up a post-sex cigarette, one of the best things this shitty world has to offer, in his opinion- second only to feeling your warm body against his; writhing and wriggling with pleasure, neck craned to let him lick the sloping sweat from your skin- or times like now, when you’re calm and satiated, nude under the comfort of sheets and the weight of your head on his chest.
Casting a hand out to shuffle blindly through the bedside table, Eddie wraps his other arm around the sleepy length of you, pulling you tighter to himself; your response a wordless, happy little noise. His hand deep in the drawer catches on a stray cigarette, then around the hard plastic of a spare lighter. With a sigh of contentment, he kisses the top of your head before bringing the filter to his lips.
Sparks catch under his thumb, cherry of the cig burning red- like some sort of sleeper agent responding to the click, you sit up with a jolt, stealing the mess of sheets upwards, exposing Eddie’s lower half to the cool air.
Eddie swears, startled- thinking you were almost asleep, he’d been nearly careless with the open flame- tossing the lighter aside, he reaches towards your back that now faces him. “Jesus, babe. Give a guy some warning before you snap to attention like a damn general.”
Thumb pressed to the notches of your spine, palm wide around your lower back, Eddie can feel the quiet giggle that shakes through your ribs.
 “Sorry,” you whisper once you’re finished, still staring at the far wall like you're trying not to break a spell. Your arms are crossed, sheets bunching around your chest- “Had a thought.”
“Must’ve been a good one,” Eddie muses, thumb following the line of your spine down, like he’s petting an oversized cat.
In true feline fashion your back arches into his touch, encouraging his palm to sweep up again, to your shoulder blade this time as you murmur, “I wanna go swimming.”
“Okay.” Eddie’s immediately agreeable, taking a long drag from the cig, letting smoke fill out the hollows around his lungs. “We’ll go to Lover’s Lake tomorrow. Heard it’s gonna be a hot one.”
Hawkins is having a record heat wave for the second summer in a row- as if all the damn underground monster shit and horrific earthquakes of last year weren’t enough already: global warming to top it all off. The sun has been merciless these last few weeks, peaking midday, nothing for it but to lie in a heated daze on the kitchen tiles of whoever’s house is the least amount of bitch to get to.
Not that Eddie’s complaining about you being half-naked most of the time. He thinks this is the year you might actually kill him, now that he can touch you, call you his- every curve of upper calf in those short shorts, every soft slip of stomach peeking out from cropped tops- he’s got enough spank bank material to last until his deathbed. (Which he’s decidedly allowed to joke about, since, ya know, the whole almost-dying thing last spring.)
Eddie moves on haptic memory to set aside his cigarette, searching pinky-out for the lip of the ashtray (ceramic, with a poorly-drawn Snoopy, the ears far too big- you’d laughed until you cried over it at the thrift store; he was fifty cents poorer that day but rich and dizzy off your glee). 
“No, not the lake. And I wanna go swimming now.” There’s a hint of petulance in your voice, walking the thin line of childish whine that only appears these days after you’ve smoked, tongue and desires loosened and lax with the help of the finest hash stash in Hawkins. 
There’s a smile threatening to split Eddie’s face in two. He’s been working at that hard-won wall of your solitude for ages now, showing rather than telling you it’s okay to ask for things, that you’re safe to make requests and hell, even demands, from him. Eddie’s not sure what he wouldn’t do for you, at this point- hasn’t found that line yet. Probably doesn’t exist.
A monster of my own design, he thinks, fondly, sweeping the hair from your neck so he can see the outline of cheek and jawbone, reflective with lamplit glow. “Baby, there’s nowhere to swim right now- it’s dark and that’s not real safe. Tomorrow I’ll make us some sandwiches- we can drive out to the lake, you can get stoned and I’ll play lifeguard.”
It’s probably too much to hope you’ve swallowed this bitter pill of compromise in silence, but based on the lack of response, it’s certainly possible. Eddie presses his thumb into the muscle where your neck meets shoulder, massage a silent apology for saying no when you’d been so good to ask. 
Crickets chirp in chorus outside, sound dampened by the glass window- he needs to open it soon, get the hot air out and night breeze flowing (though he is loath to replace the heady smell of sex wrapped like a cozy blanket around his room).
He feels you shuffle under his hand, eyes popping open to watch- you’ve tucked your chin over the dip in your shoulder, looking down the slope of your own nose at him, an expression on your face that makes Eddie’s stomach flip (with nerves, fear, excitement, hard to pinpoint exactly).
Your voice is quiet but steady when you speak, Eddie’s massaging fingers freezing to a halt when you say, “I know a place, open right now, with a lit-up pool. And a lifeguard.”
A thin tendril of smoke from the ashtray floats into Eddie’s vision as he stares blankly at the ceiling for a moment. Then he sits up, crushing the cherry into Snoopy’s wavered outline (sorry, pal) before brushing arms with you, patient and stern with a headshake to match- “No way, sweetheart.”
“Why-y?” That petulance is back, Eddie’s heart kicking up in response; it’s your turn to give the physical affection, winding your arms in a closed loop around his neck, forehead bumping against his jaw as he works it back and forth. 
His stitched-tight resolve quickly unspools as the wet plush of your lips track a path across his throat; he clears it before squeezing at your side again, one last argument to try and stick like cooked spaghetti to a wall. “You’re high.”
You snort, puff of breath sending goosebumps across his skin, rapidly cooling from lack of your affection- “Yeah, and you’re not. So you can drive us there, and then smoke again with me before we go in, and Stevie boy will keep us safe in that nice, heated, well-lit pool of his.”
Even as you speak, Eddie’s shaking his head, but it’s more in disbelief of his own weakness (namely: you). He slips a hand to your cheek, pulling back to take you in- mischief shimmering like twin stars in your eyes as you lock onto his gaze, lips parting pliant when his thumb swipes at your bottom lip. 
“You gonna behave yourself?”
It’s less of a question and more of a check-in, the meaning behind the words an undulating variable, a riddle with a thousand different answers.
The one you do give is complimented by a wicked grin, punctuated with a quick kiss (awfully chaste, considering your bare front pressed against his), your mirthful delight at having won both unsettling and tantalizing.
“Guess you’ll have to find out.”
With a sudden push to his chest, Eddie goes down easy for you, hair spreading riotous across the pillow as you move with shocking fluidity to throw a leg over his hip. Your hands meet in the middle of his chest, just under the rippling ink of a crow in flight, settling your weight comfortably on his stomach. 
Eddie’s sure you can feel his pulse, jack-rabbit fast, as you dip to kiss beneath his jaw. His hands automatically settle on your hips, grip tightening with each loving kiss you scatter over his collarbones, his sternum.
He’s half-hard under the sheets by the time your lips find the hitch of his ribs, stuttering and expanding to meet your mouth- can’t be faulted, really, not when your bare chest gleams in the low light, the top of your head imploring for the warmth of his wide palm to rest. 
Just when Eddie thinks he’s in the clear, that the call of your needs (evident in the slickness pooling just under his navel where your naked cunt rests) will drive the call of your wants to distraction, you sit up again, using your planted hands as leverage to swing completely off and away.
The coldness of your absence is cruel and unusual punishment. Eddie groans, scrubbing a hand down his face, deciding right then that he won’t be above begging tonight- when you suddenly reappear with a clean beach towel in either arm, pulled from the bowels of his closet.
There’s youthful, honest enthusiasm to your movements- something that’s catching, apparently, ‘cuz Eddie’s tipping himself out of bed with a resigned sigh, pulling boxers over his flagging dick and answering your spree of questions about these new evening plans.
“Sure, bring a water bottle. No, babe, we don’t need sunscreen- it’s night. Yeah, I’ll bring more weed. How ‘bout you bring me that old shoulder bag and we can bring some stuff with us.”
As you work on digging through the mess of a combined closet to find something suitable for swimming, Eddie folds the two towels that you’d found along with a baggie of joints into the bag. You’re humming under your breath while getting dressed, and Eddie’s staring at all the leftover space- what does one pack for a nighttime high swim with one’s girlfriend and the guy you’ve both sort-of mentioned threesoming with?
He tosses in a well-loved edition of your favorite book of poems, figuring the Harrington abode will have plenty of snacks. Food for the mind, he thinks, then snorts at his own joke. 
“C’mon, snorty.” You beckon from the doorway, an old t-shirt of his just swishing past the dark strip of your bikini bottoms, van keys held aloft. 
At the front door, there’s a brief argument about coats (you think you’ll be fine without, Eddie disagrees vehemently) which Eddie wins, wrangling your arms into the sleeves of his oil-stained work jacket before locking the front door behind you both.
Eddie smiles, a secret, pure thrill watching you tiptoe gingerly across the gravel on bare feet (too stubborn to actually wear the sandals that hang from either hand). His coat is bunched up around your ears while your legs poke out like some sort of winterized bird with bare legs. 
There’s a bright pang of love that suddenly hits hits sideways, a dizzying urge to sink on denim knees to the ground, sharp rocks be damned, just to kiss the tender spot behind your knees, to feel the hill of your calf under his tongue…
Your giggle breaks his reverie, impatient and pointed jiggling of the locked passenger handle clunking out into the quiet park. “Quit staring, weirdo. You coming?”
Hope so, Eddie thinks, spinning the key ring in looping arcs around his pointer finger. He bypasses the porch steps completely, boots hitting the gravel with a satisfying crunch. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand.”
Your cheery mood is sustained during the short car ride as you chatter animatedly about some coworker drama that you forgot to catch him up on, Eddie’s hand drawn like a magnet to your upper thigh while he drives. 
But by the time he’s pulling the van next to Harrington’s beemer, your eagerness has waned, speech drifting off into silence once he’s parked. 
“Hey.” His voice draws you back to him, a bit, your eyes too wide and roving for his liking, coat sleeves clenched around opposing fists as you hang onto his words. “Sweetheart. We don’t have to go inside. Can go anywhere- diner for some food, back home, the damn trash heap for all I care. Just want you to feel safe.”
“I do,” you counter, earnest but chest still punching a fast rhythm. “I feel safe. I just… you think he’s even awake?”
There’s a yellow glow coming from one of the second-floor windows. Your fingers twist harshly around fabric in the dark, breath loud. 
Eddie nods, then kills the engine and grabs behind his seat for the Ziploc of pre-rolls, an offering held to you between two ringed fingers. “Want a bit of Green Courage before going in?”
The van windows are soon fuzzily obscured with a haze of smoke, sprinklers for the pristine lawn nearby hissing to an automated start at the turn of 11 PM. The weed coaxes your earlier state of relax to the forefront, this time with an added layer of giggles, which Eddie finds desperately cute. 
He’s sure he’s high now, too, ‘cuz he’s unintentionally focusing really hard on your lips as you speak, and you’re letting him, corner of your mouth quirking when you ask, “Gonna take me inside, Munson?”
“Uh huh.” An automatic response, just so he can keep staring- when you pop the handle of your door open Eddie reaches, faltering before landing on your face, cupping the tilt of your cheek- “Meant it. Earlier. Just say the word. Take you anywhere.”
Weed fragments his speech but you melt with understanding, leaning into his hand, your lashes sweeping sweetly at the bridge of his thumb as you whisper, “Okay.”
You’re out the door and he’s left scrambling in the wake, hauling the strap of the packed bag over one shoulder and snapping up your forgotten shoes from the footwell. He locks the doors (nevermind that this is a nice neighborhood, can’t trust rich people farther than he can throw ‘em and Eddie has always been better at running over shotput on field days) and hikes it across the grass to where you stand, a beacon of beauty under the porch light.
“Ready?” he asks.
Your bare foot- flecked with wet grass- trails up the back of your opposing leg, veins at the whites of your eyes spidering pink with anticipation (and the fresh joint) as you turn to smile at him. “Yeah. Bring it on.”
“Your wish, my command,” Eddie says, winking, knuckles pulled into a fist to rap at the front door of one Steve Harrington. 
___
[END: PART ONE]
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aetherdoesthings · 3 days
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would you like a new home? (pt. 3.3)
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forethoughts: y'all i'm on such an arlecchino down-badness syndrome i'm writing so much and releasing so much. i think after this i'm going to write more short stories w/ father and reader, so it's gonna be like a cumulative story of reader as their adventures as father's child. (spoilers oops)
notes: gn!child!reader, NOT AN X READER READER IS A CHILD!!!
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You were still awake when the door creaked open, and Father’s heels clicked against the ground. Father tried to place the tray of food gently on the table, but you could still hear the porcelain hit the wood.
“Are you going to continue to pretend to sleep, or come and eat?” Father had a playful tone to her voice.
Of course Father knew you weren’t asleep.
Father made her way towards you, placing a hand on your head as she ran her fingers through the knots in your hair. “How are you, my dear?”
You sat up, rubbing your eyes. Your head was still pounding from the orphan’s foot, making it uncomfortable to sleep on that side. “I’m okay.”
“Good. Good.” Father looked at your sleepy expression, a soft smile on her face as she petted your head. “Do you know that I would do anything for you, my dear? I treasure you dearly and hold you near my heart.” 
“Y-Yes, Father. I-I do too…”
“Do you?” Father chuckled. “I am very happy to hear that. Especially from you.”
Father kissed the top of your head, before standing up, heading towards the door. “Eat up, my dear. When you finish your plate of food, please come find me in my office. I will be waiting for you.”
Father closed the door behind her, leaving the lights on. Letting out a sigh, you crawled out of bed, hobbling over to the table as you climbed onto the chair, examining the tray of food. Next to the plate of Jueyun Chili Parcels was an envelope with Father’s seal on it. You took the small letter opener Father had gifted you, and carefully opened the envelope. Inside was a piece of paper, filled with a sea of ink. You would rather read the cookbook than this. 
“Adoption… guardian… Arlecchino… Y/N… child…” You picked out words you knew, filling in the blanks with your best guess. The word adoption rang in your head. Adoption? No one ever got adopted ever from the House of Hearth. Father said that this was the place orphans from all over would grow up in and graduate from. Arlecchino… that was Father’s name. You recall overhearing some of the caretakers calling Father Arlecchino. 
Father… plans on adopting me? The thought struck your head, causing the paper to fall out of your hands. You immediately picked it up, eyes scanning the ink. That was literally what the paper saids. On the bottom were two straight lines adjacent to each other. One had Father’s signature on it, while the others was empty. Father… Father truly planned on adopting you. This was actually happening. You searched the envelope, looking for anything else. A note. A small folded piece of paper.
My dear Y/N,
Perhaps this will be the happy ending for the both of us. So would you like a new home, my dear?
Father.
Father. 
Father genuinely planned to adopt you.
Father wanted you to become her actual child.
Was that why Father was always kinder to you?
Was this why Father was always much more lenient and biased to you? 
It was because Father wanted you to be her child?
Her actual child?
You took a deep breath, picking up the first piece of paper instead. Pure adrenaline rushed through your body, thoughts racing through your head as your heart desperately tried to claw out of your ribs. This was happening. Serotonin and joy was the only emotion you could feel; not an ounce of worry or fear in your heart. Why weren’t you scared? Why weren’t you worried? 
Because Father.
Father was the one asking you.
Father was asking you to be her child.
Father was giving you the one thing you craved ever since you gained the ability to comprehend.
A family.
A relationship.
Someone who truly loved you.
A parent.
So how could you ever say no?
A new home.
A new life.
No more loneliness.
No more fear or worry.
No more doubt or anxiety.
A new home. 
With Father.
Arlecchino reclined back in her chair, playing with the pen in her hand. Out of anything she had ever experienced or done in her life, this was the one moment she felt genuine worry about. She could not plan this out. She could not make failsafes or backup plans. This was a reckless action. But the action she desperately wanted to take.
Arlecchino had saw a part of herself in you; that was what drawed you in to her. She saw that kid who never got along with anyone else, that was always lost in their little world. She wanted to give you the support she never had growing up. So she gave you the little perks she never had. She gave you all she wanted when she was your age. 
It was unfortunate she could not find a companion for you.
But everything always works out in the end.
Life always finds a way to piece everything together.
Arlecchino was brought back to reality when she saw one of the doorknobs twist open, your adorable figure entering the room as you hobbled towards her. The letter she had purposefully placed on the tray was in your hands, cut open and the adoption paper on top of the envelope. You climbed onto the chair on the other side of her desk, placing the adoption paper on her desk. 
Arlecchino watched you with a stoic expression, unable to resist a grin as she saw your cute child face look down and fiddle with the hem of your sleeve in nervousness.
“Well?” Arlecchino cleared her throat. “What do you think about my offer?”
“...Yes.” You smiled brightly, nodding your head. “I w-want to be your actual child.”
The corners of Arlecchino’s lips shot up to her eyes. “Come here.”
Arlecchino didn’t even mind you stepping on her desk to leap into your arms, as she wrapped her arms around your back and head tightly, hugging you close to her chest. The warmth in her heart only grew when you reciprocated the hug back, your tiny arms clutched onto the sides of her ribs.
Arlecchino let out a content sigh, a smile on her face. Now she could say the one phrase that held meaning to it. No more teasing. No more playfulness. 
“My child.”
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applejuicebegood · 2 days
Note
Hi gorgeous!! I haven’t gotten a chance to respond to your message about jason x booknerd!reader, but I wanted to quickly message and tell you that I’ve read it and I’m absolutely in love! You literally always come up with such good ideas, idk how you do it!! You’re awesome and ily!!
-(@midnightorchids)
Jason with a Bookworm!S/O
A/N: I know school has started back up for you again babe, so I don't blame you :((( I was originally planning to expand this for you, hopefully you can read this during a study break or some down time (i might repeat some stuff - just look away). It's IB exam season where I am so I share in your pain. Hang in there dude!! Summer is almost here!!
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He's a vintage paperback and leather-bound kinda guy. Crime, Sci-Fi, historical-fiction/romance, magical-realism, and non-fiction are his go-to genres. Favourite authors include; Margret Atwood, Kurt Vonnegut, Haruki Murakami, Frank Herbert, and probably M.T Anderson. He's only a little pretentious about it.
He can spend hours in used book stores digging through the big plastic bins and stuffed cardboard boxes. You help him find specific authors or titles, your basket heavy with your combined finds. He'll carry the bags back to your apartment, his other hand tucked into yours as you gush about excited you are to sort and organise your new additions to your shared library.
He still has some books that Bruce and Alfred gave hm before his murder. Leather bond additions of the Liliad and rare printings of Dracula and Frankenstein. They have these little notes left in the front pages from Bruce that he couldn't bring himself to tear out or throw away entirely. And if you thought his home library was huge- wait until you see the book shelves in his old room.
Since he doesn't spend that much money on himself, he now has every chance to spoil you with your own special additions of your favourite stand-alone's, expensive book-marks, and lavish coffee dates where both of you enjoy your books over the smoothest of richest of espresso.
In the early months of your relationship, most of your dates were spent at bookstores, thrift-shops, and libraries. Your love quite literally grew from the yellowed, torn pages your would both get lost in.
Once his home library combined with yours, most of your bedroom and living room wall space became covered with his floor to ceiling bookshelves. Your bedside tables would each have a small stack of books that you were currently reading.
He absolutely loves how you look with your reading glasses. He thinks it's too cute when you push them up with the back of your hand, entirely focused on an intense passage. Your eyes going wide or your breath stopping at a beautiful line. Your adorable focused stare and sweet round cheeks are accentuated fully. He should be reading the book in his own lap but he's entirely distracted by you. You shut the book with a thump and immediately turn to him to gush about the chapter you just finished only to have his hands catch your jaw and bring your smiling lips against his. And suddenly, you forgot what you were going to say to him.
Jason finds lines and prose in his books that remind him of you and highlight them. He would keep them in a note stack on his phone, just to read them back to remind himself of your beauty. It's something that he could never put into words himself, hence one of the reasons why he adores reading so much. He can find the right order of words that properly express his infinite adoration and care for you.
I've explored this before but you guys have a set date once a month where you'll sit in each-others arms and just read all day. You'll curl up in one of his sweaters with one of your thick Sanderson novels and he'll tuck a blanket around his lap with his special addition of 'Little Women' open in his lap. He'll refill your tea mug because it's always hard to pull you out of your book during your reading days.
You'll order in some warm comfort food for supper and talk about your books respectively. He'll gush about how Jo March is such a revolutionary character and how Amy is actually a metaphor for the loss of innocence girls experience when attempting to emulate patriarchal standards of womanhood.
All while you gaze lovingly back into his eyes, your chin resting on your palm - wondering if a marriage proposal would be too sudden for your evening conversation.
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darkeunology · 3 days
Text
♡ Love is the Warmest Colour ♡
Word Count: 3228 (I'm amazed it's this long)
Pairing: Derek Morgan x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of gunshot injuries, normal Criminal Minds violence, kidnapping, torture mentions (No explicit details)
Summary: In a world where soulmates feel each other's pain, you and Derek seem to be oblivious to each other's pains.
Not proof read. Not sure how I feel about this one tbh.
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Soulmate: Noun: A person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. 
Everyone in the world had someone who was destined to be their soulmate. It was a tale told to every child as a bedtime story, the exact way soulmates were known to each other. Shared pain - all soulmates in the world feel each other’s pain, Every scratch, punch or bump, soulmates feel it all but are never left with the physical marks from the injuries. 
Maybe not so surprisingly, a lot of people never actually found their soulmates, getting injured close enough to your soulmate so that both of you would realise anything was quite rare a feat, most people gave up trying to find their soulmate by their 20s, not wanting to waste their life trying to find the person suited best for them. Including you, once you’d hit 25, you’d given up - you thought it would be great if you did ever find them, but you weren’t holding out hope for it anymore, you’d now just ignore any of the pains you’d ever felt from your soulmate, which annoyingly for you, was a very common occurrence. 
—---------
As a child, a common question that was asked during class was ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ Everyone else in the class would always have an answer to this, Vet, Astronaut, Writer, Fireman, to name a few, but you never once had an answer, never a clear one anyway, you had no idea what you actually wanted to do in life, and even once you’d finished high school, you chose to not go to college, instead choosing to unfortunately bounce between jobs, starting out at retail, before moving to waitressing until eventually moving to the job you were in now, a barista at your local coffee shop. 
It wasn’t quite the life you or your parents had ever imagined for you, but you were happy enough; sure, you were living paycheck to paycheck, and you weren’t really able to treat yourself as much as you’d wished to, but it worked for you, and now, being in your 20s, you weren’t really sure how you could do anything else with your life. 
It wasn’t until the day you very nearly died when you decided you wanted to do something different. 
You’d just finished a lunchtime shift at the coffee shop, planning to go to the store quickly before you went back to your apartment, a good friend of yours coming round to have a girls night together after a long week at work. You never managed to make it home that night. Whilst walking to the store, a van stopped next to you, a young man poking his head out the window, asking you how to get to the highway from where he was. After quickly telling him where to drive, you turned your back to the van, about to start walking again when you felt yourself be grabbed from behind, a large hand covering your mouth to stop a scream from escaping - no matter how hard you tried to fight off the hands on you, nothing would loosen his grip as he pulled you into the back of the van, landing a quick, hard punch to your head, knocking you out immediately. 
When you finally woke up, you were tied up on what felt like a dentist’s chair. All your clothes except for your underwear missing from your body. A shiver ran through your body from the chill in the room you were in, the chill getting worse when the men who kidnapped you walked into the room you were in, menacing smirks lining their faces. 
Once your friend hadn’t been able to get in contact with you after you’d failed to get back to your apartment after work, they called the police, knowing that you would never be late coming home without letting her know beforehand, she knew deep down something had happened to you, especially with the news recently of young women being kidnapped and murdered in the are you lived in. She’d seen on the news that the FBI had already been called in after the last murder after seeing the press conference on the news the other night, she told them everything they needed to know and hoped that they’d be able to find you in time. 
Unsure of just how much time it had been since you’d been kidnapped, all you could focus on was the pain running through your body from the hours of torture you’d had to endure. It felt like you’d been here for days when in reality it had only been a few hours. The only thing that had kept you going the whole time was the hope that your friend called someone when you never showed up to meet her at your apartment. That hope finally coming true when a tall, dark skinned man jogged into the room, FBI vest on his body and a gun held firmly in his hands, “I’ve got the victim.” he spoke into his comms before placing his gun back into his holster, walking up to you, a gentle smile on his face, “Hey, sweetheart. I’m agent Derek Morgan with the FBI. You’re safe now alright. Medics are on their way down.” he spoke gently, his hands moving to carefully untie you from the chair. 
Derek stuck by your side every moment until they put you in the back of the ambulance, keeping you comfortable as everything buzzed around you, only leaving you when the ambulance left for the hospital.
He was the one good thing you tried to focus on whenever you had nightmares about the kidnapping. It took months of therapy, months of being scared to leave your house alone again before you were finally ready and able to do something about your life. You guess it’s because of what you went through, but you decided that you wanted to do what was done for you, you wanted to help people in the worst moments of their lives; so you went back to school, studying criminal profiling and psychology, graduating 3 years later before luckily managing to get a position in the BAU, the same unit who saved you nearly 4 years previously.  
—--------
Derek remembered when he was told about soulmates by his parents, his sisters told him afterwards that they all had the same talk when they were the same age. He was told one night as he was being put to bed, his parents telling him that there was one special person in the world who was a perfect fit for him, a person who he might never find but someone that would never be better for him. He was told that was how his parents met each other, his dad being hurt during a police job with his mother luckily being close enough to him that they knew almost in that moment they were meant for each other. He was told that any physical pains he would ever have would be felt by his soulmate and any pains his soulmate had would have, he would feel himself. 
As Derek grew older, he never really put much thought into soulmates, he knew how unlikely it actually was that he’d ever meet his true soulmate, with just how big America was, and the fact they might not even be American. He just figured that if he was going to find his soulmate, it would happen naturally - so, like most people, he dated anyone he wanted to, not caring, nor worrying if they weren’t his soulmate. 
At night sometimes, as much as he would never tell people, he would often imagine what life might be like with his soulmate, or just exactly how he would meet them. He mildly envied the people who had actually managed to find their soulmate, wondering how they got so lucky with how large the world is. 
Sometimes Derek would think he didn’t even have a soulmate, he often wouldn’t feel any random pains, only sometimes getting a pain in his foot, almost like his soulmate had just stubbed their toe somewhere - or sometimes a harsh pain in his arm, maybe a needle injection or someone hitting their shoulder too hard as they walked past them. 
So, even as Derek was for some reason in a lot more pain than he normally was, he didn’t really think too much of it. He was used to pain from his job so it didn’t really feel like much to him, he thought you were just going through a bad day. 
He never connected the pieces, even after his pain stopped once you’d been rescued. 
—-------
Nervous was an understatement as you stood in the elevator going up to the BAU office, you hid it behind a gentle smile as the doors opened, asking the first person you saw how to find Aaron Hotchner’s office. 
After getting your directions, you headed through the glass doors into the main office, walking up to Hotchner’s office to the curious looks of the other members of the team. You knocked on the door, walking in once you’d heard a ‘come in’ from the other side of the door. 
“Hi. Aaron Hotchner?” you asked, a smile on your face as you held your box full of your things in your hands, 
The man nodded behind his desk, standing and walking round the other side to be able to shake your hand, something you were just able to do with the box you were balancing. “Hi, yes. You must be Y/N,” he spoke, waiting for your nod of acknowledgement before he continued, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Everyone else has just gone into the meeting room. I’ll show you your desk then we’ll go up to meet everyone.” he explained, a small smile on his face the whole time, before he led you out of his office, quickly showing you your desk so you could place the box down before leading you up to the meeting room, walking in before you, “Everyone, meet our new agent, this is Y/N L/N.” he spoke to the team, 
It took a moment for everyone to introduce themselves, Derek was the last to speak, “You seem familiar,” he spoke after he’d said his name. Everyone else took that to mean something different, since they all knew what Derek was like most of the time, so they were surprised when they heard Spencer speak, “Yeah, he’s right.” Causing the rest of the team to try and remember why two of their team knew your face. 
Sighing lightly, you glanced at Aaron, who already knew of your past, he nodded gently, signalling that you can tell them if you wanted to, “I must just have a familiar face.” you spoke, shrugging your shoulders. 
Thankfully for you, the team dropped it. Derek still giving you looks every so often, trying to figure out where he knew you from. 
—----
It had been a few weeks of working in the BAU, you’d managed to fit into the team really well. Already going on many girls nights with JJ, Emily and Garcia. You got on with the males in your team as well, but nowhere near as well as the girls. Garcia being the one you told everything to, including the day you were kidnapped and rescued by the BAU, and opening up to her about the small feelings you had for a certain Derek Morgan.
You’d also had a lot more pains from your soulmate in the past few weeks, nothing too bad, just some hard hits every so often, one being a nasty hit on your ribs one day at the end of a case, you standing with Emily and practically doubling over in the sudden pain that shot through your abdomen, “You good?” Emily asked, concern laced through her voice, 
“Yeah.” you gasped out, “I don’t know what happened, that just really hurt for a moment.”
“Must be your soulmate.” Emily spoke, you nodded in response, 
“Yeah, it must be.”
When you and Emily found out that Derek had been shot in his abdomen, luckily only causing a harsh bruise due to his vest, Emily was the only one who connected the dots about the pain you felt that day, deciding not to tell anyone else about her thoughts. 
—-----
“You alright sugar?” Garcia spoke when she saw Derek, noticing the obvious look of discomfort on his face, 
“Yeah, baby girl. Just got an awful headache, I took painkillers ages ago and it just hasn’t done anything.” he spoke, rubbing his temples, he knew from the fact that painkillers hadn’t worked that it would be a soulmate pain, 
“Soulmate maybe?” Garcia spoke, 
“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.” He spoke, smiling at Garcia before getting back to work. 
It wasn’t until he sat down at his desk and saw you taking some painkillers when something clicked, “You good Y/N?” Derek asked, grabbing your attention and the attention of Emily who was sitting nearby at her desk. 
“Really bad headache. Painkillers are only helping a small amount.” you sighed. 
Emily was only looking towards Derek, a knowing look on her face, watching as Derek looked towards her, realisation slowly showing on his face, “Let me know if I can do anything to help.” he spoke, before turning back around, his only thought being that his soulmate was potentially his colleague. 
—----------
Oftentimes when you’d come into work, you’d go into Garcia’s bat cave, getting her some coffee and having a little chat before the work began.
A knock on the door interrupted you and Garcia this morning, “We’re meeting now. We have a new case.” JJ spoke as she poked her head in, her face looking grim. Both of you stood, grabbing your coffee mugs and heading over to the meeting room, being the last two to come in,
“We’re going to Florida.” JJ spoke, turning on the TV on the wall, “There’s been a series of murders, all women in their late 20s, all being found dumped in remote areas.” 
“Any sexual assault?” Derek asked.
“All of them had signs of sexual assault, yes.” JJ answered. “Newest victim is Stephanie Leigh, she was kidnapped yesterday evening after a night out at a local club.”
“All of these women were killed two days after they were kidnapped, meaning we have under 48 hours to find her alive.” Hotch spoke, his face serious like always, “Wheels up in 20.” he finished, getting up from his seat first as everyone else followed. 
—--------
You and Derek were in the car driving to the club where the recent victim was taken from, 
“I think I figured out where I remember you from.” Derek spoke, filling the silence that had surrounded you both for a while, 
“Oh yeah.” you spoke, knowing that Derek probably had, and dreading having to tell him he was right. 
“I think around 4 years ago, maybe more, we were called out to a local kidnapping case, the local cops were investigating someone kidnapping local young females and murdering them after torturing them for a few days, normally 2, but he’d accelerated his timeline on the last victim. We’d found the last body then a few hours later we were told of someone else being kidnapped - it was you.” He turned to look at you for a moment before putting his eyes back on the road,
“You were the one that found me first.” you spoke. Silence filled the car again for a moment, “I never told any of you purely because I just wanted to try and forget about it. I figured some of you might recognise me, but I hoped that you’d rescued so many people that you wouldn't necessarily remember one person you’d helped. Clearly though, you knew, and I think so does Spencer.” you looked towards Derek, “I’ll tell everyone else eventually” 
“I’m sorry for bringing it up,” he spoke quietly, 
“Don’t be.” You shook your head, “I needed to thank you anyway. All of you really. But you stayed by my side from the moment you found me until the ambulance left,” you paused, looking back at Derek, “I don’t think you realise how much I appreciated that.” you finished quietly, a sad tone in your voice. 
Derek turned and nodded gently at you, not saying anything else until you guys arrived at the club, continuing on with the case you were working. 
—--------
“I think we found our guy.” Hotch spoke after Garcia had finished her round of research she was given, the team headed out, finding the warehouse where the unsub should be holding the missing girl, rushing to get there before he murdered her just like the others. 
Spencer and you went round the back together along with some swat agents and other cops, checking each room until you saw the unsub running from you both, alerting the agents who were left outside, Derek being one of them. 
“We found the victim, she’s alive.” Emily spoke into the comms, just before Hotch spoke, 
“Offender running on foot northwest, me and Derek are in pursuit.” Spencer, you, Emily and Rossi all ran out of the warehouse, knowing the victim was safe with the rest of the police and the medics, hopping in one of the SUVs and going out to find Hotch and Derek. 
All in one moment, the most intense pain you’d felt before rang through your shoulder and your leg, causing you to yelp out in pain, making everyone else in the car jump, “Y/N!” Spence exclaimed, being the one sitting next to you in the back, “You okay?” he asked, at the same time Hotch spoke on the radio, 
“Shots fired, Agent down. I need medics to my location.” he practically shouted, the message finishing just as the SUV turned the corner to the alley they were in, Derek on the floor with Hotch knelt next to him. 
Confusion rung through you, the realisation never actually hitting you due to the pain in your body distracting you too much to think straight, “I can’t believe you’re a profiler and you haven’t figured it out yet.” Emily chuckled lightly, looking towards you with disbelief. 
“What?” you asked dumbly, 
“Get out the car and go to your damn soulmate.” she spoke again. You didn’t even think twice once the realisation hit you in the face, you jumped out the car, kneeling on the other side of Derek, one hand cupping his face, 
“Hey sweetheart.” he spoke, a small smile on his face even through the pain of the wounds. 
“Hey soulmate.” you smiled, “That hurt quite a lot you know?” finishing with a chuckle, Derek also chuckling before groaning in pain. “Sorry.” you whispered, noticing the pain he was in. 
“I’m taking you on a date once I’m better.” Derek told you, one of his hands coming to hold yours which was still on his face. 
“You better.” chuckling, you leant down and laid a small kiss on Derek’s forehead as the rest of the team watched on, smiles on their faces, relieved that the two of you finally figured it all out, even if you needed Emily to spell it out for you to realise.
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kishdoodles · 2 days
Text
Treebark Week 2024 - A Post-Mortem
Hi! If you haven’t seen, I have released seven (7!) videos for Treebark Week 2024! This wall of text is my behind the scenes and also post-mortem thoughts on the project, which I found worth documenting.
Even if you don’t end up reading the text, I appreciate every comment, tag, and view my videos get. I did it for the fun of it and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do it for the attention. I did, because I think these videos are the funniest things I’ve ever released. Shoutout to @thefluxqueen for being my partner in crime and confidant for these. You saw my vision.
I wanted to do something for Treebark week but admittedly I had noooo idea. So this whole gimmick was a fun set up for me to stretch my creativity in. What started as “I’m just going to do everything in mspaint with a mouse” spiraled to “I think it’s going to get boring if everything’s in the same style, so I’m going to have to do something different everyday.”
The important factor to me throughout all of this is earnesty.
Even if its life started as a joke, this project is a love letter in every respect. This is what I grew up on, this is the YouTube that is precious to me. Capturing this era of time in 7 videos is all at once easy, yet surprisingly laborious.
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First I planned the songs. Fitting the songs with the prompts was a brain scratcher, but once we (me and Spain) had a few in the rest slotted in pretty easily. Common thread was, of course, any popular song from the mid-late 2000s.
The first confirmed song was Sugar, Sugar for Sweet (Day 2) courtesy of Spain, given the Eddsworld video. We had a few songs for Burn (Day 3) or Infernal (Day 4) which we threw out (Elli Goulding’s Burn, 2NE1’s Fire, Steam Powered Giraffe’s Fire Fire, etc.) I ended up digging through my old playlist and listened to 20% Cooler, which after a realization I immediately slotted it for Frost (Day 1). Spain brought up the Heat Waves parody (Cold Spells) for Frost too, to which I realized I could just do regular Heat Waves, so that became what I did for Burn.
Bring Me To Life was brought to my attention (I forgot how, maybe Youtube recommendations?) and with the lyrics, it became the song for Blood (Day 7). The all time classic, Angel with a Shotgun, fit in nicely with the prompt of Divine (Day 4), so there was no contest. Another classic, Everytime We Touch, was harder to fit but I eventually reasoned through the prompts enough to fit it with Lips (Day 5) (the everytime we kiss part).
At this point, nothing I’ve found fit Day 6 (picnic/garden/strawberry) at ALL. So I decided the only way I knew how. RANDOM CHOICE!
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Mad World won but that was a trap, for I have biased myself toward Animal I’ve Become at that point and it almost won, so I went with that instead. This is a lawless land. 
-
The actual video ideas really came to me in piecemeal, so I’ll explain how I got each idea as I cover each day in order of when I completed them. 
20% Cooler (Day 1) was the most straightforward of the days. It was done in 1 hour and 30 minutes and I was purposefully being extremely literal about the lyrics. I already had the vision for what I want, and I didn’t want to care about quality all that much, so it came together really fast. 
For my process, I lined with mspaint brush and then bucket tooled with default colours. I took advantage of the new layer system mspaint added for some scenes, but otherwise it was as simple as just drawing. (Pictured, 3 layers for 2 scenes.)
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It was really easy to just quickly edit in Windows Movie Maker 6 too, I just dragged the pictures in, slapped effects, roughly timed everything and it’s done.
Programs used: mspaint, Windows Movie Maker 6
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Sugar, Sugar (Day 2) was an honest effort at avoiding any complicated animations. I initially thought of doing an animation similar to the original video that inspired the song choice, but eventually scaled back because. I don’t want to animate. 
Thus came the decision of subject matter. I ended up settling on the demon roleplay because I thought it was the campiest thing in the world. And it was a sweet reunion, no? The lyrics just fit the vibe, and in a moment of brilliance (hitting the showers) I thought to make a visual novel. One reflective of old flash games and like the visual novels of cultural zeitgeist at the time.
I’ve known about Ren’py for quite some time now, but I’ve never properly learned how to use it. For this my task was simple. Find out how to change sprites, backgrounds, and move people into the scene.
Sprites and backgrounds were easy, so those were the first things I did. Ren’s sprites were inspired in design by Demon Hunters in the Warcraft world, mostly because I was playing a lot of Hearthstone and liked the idea. Martyn’s sprite style was inspired by early 2000s anime visual novels, like Higurashi (though I’ve personally never consumed it nor do I actually recommend consuming this piece of media (neutral) its ripple throughout the anime community was felt. Notably, parodies of the anime’s opening were very popular.) I toned back the stylizations, but trust me when I say that Martyn’s hands were purposefully big to be yaoi hands. It didn’t end up that big, and I did not give him the dorito chin here so, immense self control on my part (or cowardice?). False and Joel were just my regular style. For all this I used my tablet instead of my mouse.
The programming part was a little troublesome, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t google, so it got done pretty fast. There’s other small bits, like how I mismatched the background sizes, the sprite sizes (with each other)(minorly) but for the most part it came together pretty quick. Once the VN was done, it was just about recording it. So I put on the song, and danced along.
[You can download the VN here]
Programs used: Ren’Py, OBS, mspaint, After Effects (just to move the scene over at the beginning)
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So I knew I wanted a classic style AMV, so that eventually became Everytime We Touch (Day 5). 
The pictures mostly come from a discord server I’m in (hi [redacted]!!!!) and I thought of it like a nice homage to the insanity we had in there. Bless all of you guys, you guys were the ones I wanted this series to be made for the most.
Not much to say beyond that, besides me just editing it all on movie maker as usual.
Programs used: Windows Movie Maker 6
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Angel With a Shotgun (Day 4) was the last to be planned for. I predicted it was going to be the easiest to make on the fly (it was) and just kind of winged it. I wanted a unique style still for it though, and the idea of drawing their cubitos came pretty late. 
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I was not exempt from this trend in my youth (my art in mspaint, age 11, me and my sister)
The rest was history. Just kidding, I really wanted something to do with the shotgun thing so I literally searched “shotgun” in Curseforge and got MrCrayfish’s gun mod just for the shotgun. I loaded up the 3rd Life world I had from my Broken Lives animatic (it’s a custom made world using the seed) and just got to work with FreeCam and OBS (it’s my first time with FreeCam too!)
A rejected clip I didn’t use because of skin consistency / continuity.
Programs used: Minecraft, mspaint, Windows Movie Maker 6
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Heat Waves (Day 3) acquired a pixel art style as an homage to its original lyric video. People have said it reminded them of Homestuck, which I honestly don’t mind. It fits the era and I did grow up with it. It kinda looped back in on itself that way.
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I blame this frame, here's it as a gif which lies unused.
For the video, the more I rewatched bits of Last Life for it (it’s been a while!) I realized it had a lot more potential than I initially thought. Though I doubt most of it didn’t come through in the final product (I limit these videos to a minute or less, if possible, excepting credits and allowing few more seconds over the minute mark so long as it felt warranted), I tried to cram in what I thought fitting to the prompt the whole time.
The watch tower burning was an easy pick, a classic Treebark moment you might say. For the rest of it, the nuance laid a lot in how Martyn presented the Shadow Alliance. “The Dog, The Shadow, The Roots. We make this place burn.” Under the eyes of the moon, it witnessed this pact form, and its resolution for the server. The moon is included in multiple frames because of this, as a stand-in for the eye of the Watcher(s) I included at the start, watching Martyn through the series.
In a lot of ways, how Lizzie and BigB turned red I also found fascinating. Lava and explosions you could argue are an extension of burning and fire, and an explosion was also how Martyn left the series. Ren, from the start of this alliance, inexplicably committed to and saw through what ultimately rips the people he was loyal to away from him. 
Martyn on the other hand, I drew in the later portions quite aware of the position he’s in, hence only his eye in the frame with the last 4 folks. This to me starts a path for him toward where he goes in the later serieses (notably in Limited Life). This is all very “vibes” and instinctual kind of “trust me on this” sort of read on c!Martyn honestly.
On missed opportunities, I’m almost upset at how I never brought up the moment Martyn buys a love crystal from Scar (never used, it got blown up) which I (and a lot of other) may have delusionally thought it was for Ren. Besides that, I never had a chance to desaturate the colours in the video leaving only red (which Ren did upon the encounter of the establishment of the Moon Cult)(it really emphasized Martyn’s lips!), I tried just plain desaturating, but ended up ditching it since it never felt like it jived well with the rest of the video.
All that aside, I finished this one really late (for me, which was past midnight on the day it was going to be posted), so I’m glad it was out on time. It’s the one I put in the most effort for, and I’m glad to see people enjoy it.
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The eye on its own, which reveals the Watcher symbol I accidentally did in the wrong orientation. Oops!
Programs used: Aseprite, After Effects
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Animal I Have Become (Day 6) was thought on for a while. Eventually I have my eureka moment and I thought it was a nice shout out to the Bannedstory community who I’ve followed in my early days, where I’d watch animations of people’s custom OCs (original characters) made with Maplestory sprites animated to audio clips that I really wasn’t supposed to be listening to at the time lol. That, and all the online games and the like I grew up with on the early internet. I personally didn’t partake in it, but roleplaying on those was a common sight, and I found it endearing. 
My partner in crime for this day in particular was @thefluxqueen, because I really can’t be bothered with character customization for a lot of these games (I respect the craft but I lack the patience), but I knew who LOVED doing that. He really knocked it out of the park, helping me do the Gachalife, Club Penguin, and the characters for Animal Jam and Ponytown. For the latter, they handed me the account information and we just went to town.
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A Treebark stream in a just world.
I can’t tell you exactly how I assigned the lyrics, but I definitely assigned the animal sections during the chorus so it was a surprise (and so it also fit the lyrics). I did have fun recording and we had a fun time in Ponytown. We were shown where other mcyt fans are by a Grian pony (Hermit Hill) and then we hung out there sitting down while we workshopped the Bannedstory segments with both our sonas together. All in all a great time.
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It took a few takes.
Programs used: Bannedstory 3 (I would’ve loved to use 4, I grew up with that!), Gachalife, Club Penguin, Animal Jam, Ponytown, Windows Movie Maker 6, OBS
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For Bring Me to Life (Day 7)... I ended up getting more attached to the thought of it the longer this project went on. 
I wanted it to be the end all be all, go out with a bang and everything. I kept thinking and thinking, how do I end Treebark week? After a week of homages, how do I make the last one?
What’s beyond my childhood? It was just growing up. But it’s not like I had to let anything go. My artistic endeavors are influenced by all of my experiences. I saw good reason to bring it all home, do a callback to the styles of the entire week, it’s my victory lap.
And why not call back every instance of Treebark through the entire series then? This evolved into me learning more about Martyn’s lore because I want to be informed! I want to make this as someone who earnestly loves the narrative of these characters, and the stories they’ve told.
From a story perspective, it felt like Martyn was always doomed to tragedy. Suppose the life series always does end tragically, but Martyn’s Vtuber in relation to all this has its own inherent tragedy to it. In my eyes, this roamer of cyberspace constantly has to live through different lives with familiar people. The people he loved and cared for in one world will always be ripped from him, and he knows that.
Amongst everything the Unguided Hand gets me the most. In the video I drew the Ren he chases as a shadow. He’ll never get the Ren he knew then, back. Even if he meets another Ren in another world, it's never going to be The Red King. To me, Limited Life is the snapping point, a point of selfishness above all else in the comfortable knowledge that he wins, without ever needing to experience the same closeness and loyalty he had in lives past. The realization that this is what the game was about. Winning at all costs. I wanted the progression to reflect that.
Deep down, maybe he yearns to be saved from all that. The song echoes that sentiment. I tried to match the lyrics to how I saw the timeline of events as close as possible for that to hit. In this, Ren is his anchor, someone that he gets drawn to no matter the incarnation. The tragedy is that Ren, even if he knows about what Martyn’s going through, can’t join him in this journey. Martyn will always be alone in this experience, and Ren can only be a short comfort before the cycle starts anew. 
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I quite liked the pixel art I did for LimLife!Martyn
From a meta perspective, this video (and by extension, the whole series) is about art and creating. I have been obsessed with art for 14 years now, and as time goes on I’ve grown fond of every way that we, as people, have evolved our storytelling. The multitudes of mediums that we have developed to express ourselves and share narratives will continue to fascinate me endlessly. Cringe be damned, there is a universal desire to create and enjoy stories of all folds. From the smallest story told from painstakingly typing chat boxes for little custom-made characters to say, to the highest production play put on for multiple hours in a game of Minecraft. 
And at the beginning of my journey lay paper and pencil. Bring Me To Life is an elaborate pun on my end, yes, but also a reflection of my roots. I started my journey as an artist endlessly doodling the adventures of tiny magical girls fighting demons, drawing fanart of costumes in MMO games I found cool, and sharing them with my friends at school. I find myself still drawing, still creating, for hundreds, if not thousands of eyes to see. Still I get inspired by the stories others tell, and I create in turn. In appreciation, in love. 
Bring Me To Life as a song, is a slate that, to me, reflected what I saw in the relationship of Treebark. Bring Me To Life is also a demand, of a piece of art that I had a vision for, that I wanted to bring to life. I struggled at how to end it for a while. Closing the book became very straightforward. It’s the end of this video, this saga, and another way that me, as a Watcher myself (as what they’re originally meant to represent) exercises control over stories in my own unique way. Creation is never limited to a select few. I think everyone should keep getting inspired by the things around them, and keep making art in turn.
To the people who’ve made it til the end here, make art, keep creating. Do shitty doodles, write whatever you want, make sounds and crafts and keep living. That’s all I really want, and this was what this whole series was about.
Programs used: mspaint, Aseprite, Blockbench, Bannedstory 3, Pencil and paper, After Effects
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slutt4ellie · 4 hours
Text
Fated Hearts Start With Fire
PT2 - Unforeseen Harmony
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PART 1
Moving to a new city is tough, but it’s even harder when your roommate is a dick.
Summery - After moving in you find yourself distracted on why your roommate has this very prominent dislike when it comes to you?
Warnings -> Same mean Ellie / Reader is also rude / Alcohol usage / Mentions of previous relationships / Girl flirts with reader 🫣 / Jealousy (if u squint idk) / Slow burn!! / Toxic relationship /kissing / (Lmk if I missed anything else!)
WC : 4.4k
(Not proofread)
DAILY CLICK 🇵🇸 - (takes a few seconds!)
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Fuck.
To say living with Ellie is “Hell”, that would be an understatement!
The whole interaction with her the day after she came home completely plastered, the one where she said you looked “shitty”, that was about 3 and a half weeks ago.
You didn’t even understand what the actual fuck was wrong with her! And sure that seems mean, you knew how it sounded! But she’s probably the most unreasonable person you’ve ever met.
She’d get pissed if you got up to early for your classes because the moving of you just simply walking “Woke her up!”
She constantly takes your food, drinks, snacks, whatever. Basically everything that was in the fridge, and purchased by you, also now happened to be hers!
And every time you brought up how it was rude or disrespectful she’d shut it down! Saying something along the lines of “While I lived here first!”
Living in a place that was completely foreign to you, and having the worst possible fucking roommate unsurprisingly didn’t mix well!
It also didn’t help you had a grand total of 0 friends. You were shit at small talk and conversations, that was nothing new.
But then again you also knew staying in your shared apartment with Ellie. That wasn’t something you could deal with much longer, you just had to suck it up and talk to literally anyone except for fucking her.
So that’s what you did.
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Walking to class was alright, the cold air hitting the back of your neck was extremely apparent but you sucked it up.
The sun was still struggling to make it past the clouds but to be fair it was the least of your concerns, because as of now you were making some genius plan to make some friends..!
You had Jess and Alex who are great. You wouldn’t trade them for the world. But even they knew you had to get out there more.
At least that’s what they’ve been texting you all morning. Stuff along the lines of “You got this!” and “Just try not to panic”
So you kept that plastered in the front of your mind as you continued to walk down the campus trail, there was music blasting in your ears, trying to come up with conversation starters till there was a slight tap on your shoulder.
A girl, she was taller then you, had brunette hair, blue eyes, and a tiny smile on her face.
Her hand slightly moves signalling you to basically take out your headphones which you complied. You assumed it was already weird that you were staring at her for at least 5 seconds.
She spoke softly. “Hi..!” You just give her a smile back, thinking something along the lines of “Who the fuck is this??”.
“H-Hi?” You stuttered out a confused tone leaking which she clearly picked up on because she followed by saying. “I’m super fucking lost right now and you seemed approachable!” She chuckles letting out a quick “I’m a transfer student, and my class is 182..? Do you mind?” She holds out her map which shows the campus.
This leads you to quickly smile back. “Shit, I’m 182 as well. I can just walk you if you want?”
This has her immediately nod and you see the relief all over her face. “Fuck, thank you. I have no clue how to read paper maps”
“No?” You smile at her words and she follows up by shaking her head.
“Never thought I’d be in this situation, so no!” She smiles at you, causing you go stumble over your words.
“I-I uh didn’t get your name?“ You choke out.
“Fuck right! Mia, sorry!“ Mia smiles holding out her hand to shake.
You hold out your hand and shake it back. Quickly telling her your name.
༻♡︎༺
You learned that apparently during Mia’s transfer, the papers got all mixed up, which is now leading her 3 weeks after the term had started.
You and her quickly found yourselves sat beside each other during the whole lecture. (Which you hardly followed since you guys were talking a shit ton.)
And by the time it finished she didn’t hesitate to get your number, she was definitely way more bold then you..
You couldn’t tell if Mia was being simply platonic or if maybe she was trying to flirt?
You were sorta bad at signals and so when she asked you to do homework today, specifically together, quickly calling it a “Date!” you decided to deem it as non-platonic.
So here you are now walking back to your apartment shoulder to shoulder, talking about school, friends, where you both grew up, shit like that. Really just getting to know each other during the walk
It didn’t take long till you reached your apartment fumbling over the key hole as you unlocked it giving Mia a clear view of the auburn sat on your couch.
When Mia sees Ellie sat on the couch she quickly talks “Oh is she your?-“
You assumed Mia was going to finish off the sentence with “girlfriend” which had you almost shout out a quick no, because Ellie. Gross.
But! You decided as a calmer approach “No!- No we’re roommates! I- It was like an ad and shit so..”
Mia then smiles and nods looking straight at your. “Okay cool!”
Did Mia care if you had girlfriend??
But before you could even fucking talk, Ellie turns around, this makes you assume she was probably going to the kitchen, but as soon as her green eyes hit Mia’s then yours she just sorta stops. Spitting out a harsh.
“People are desperate now!” Ellie chuckles continuing to pick up where she left off and walking to the kitchen. Grabbing a few snacks.
Your eyes land on the side profile of Mia’s, her eyebrows are furrowed, she knew the comment was directed towards you. Because Ellie’s eyes stayed on you when she said it.
Mia was about to say something but you quickly grab her hand intertwining your fingers with hers.
You’ve never had a girlfriend. You didn’t know if this was normal to even do considering you and Mia were probably the furthest from dating, but you just wanted to draw her attention off of someone like Ellie.
You got the impression Ellie wouldn’t turn down a fight, which see showed with you, and those just all happened to be verbal.
You didn’t exactly want to see what the fuck would happen if Ellie got into a physical fight. Especially not with a girl which is showing at least some interest in you?
Mia’s eyebrows drop, no longer furrowed, and you see a pink rise to her cheeks.
You clear your throat, because now you’re nervous having you hand intertwined with Mia’s. So you quickly disconnect the both of your hands before talking to her..
“We can uh-my room is just over her” You point and quickly lead Mia to your room avoiding Ellie’s gaze purposefully.
You open your bedroom door, you and Mia instantly stepping into your now properly decorated bedroom.
Having a bed which you lacked just 3 weeks ago.
Mia finds herself on your bed dropping her bag on the side of the frame. She scoots back pushing her back against the headboard.
She quickly started up conversations which you grazed over considering you now have a fucking person in your room. On your bed!
“Your room’s pretty” Mia smiles
“T-thank you!” You smile looking at her finally being able to bare proper eye contact “If you came her 3 weeks ago we would have been on the floor”
Mia laughs and let’s out a “Why??”
“I had no fucking bed! Since I travelled so far, they were losers and didn’t want me bringing my queen bed on the plane?” You chuckle obviously joking which prompts a laugh from Mia.
“Seems lame” Mia smiles and you finally sit beside her on the bed.
“Super lameeee” You drag out your “e” which now left you feeling super fucking lame, it made you cringe at yourself which you tried to laugh off.
Mia smiles and chuckles, grabbing her laptop which she conveniently already took out of her bag. “I don’t wanna do all this fucking work” Mia looks at you having the blood rush straight up to your cheeks.
“Y-yeah no me neither, I already have like 3 things I gotta work on.” You chuckle looking back at her.
Mia had almost 0 problem having her eyes glance down to your lips. Yet you fucking did.
I mean sure you obviously wanted her to kiss you but you had no fucking knowledge on what to do? But before you could even think about it, Mia’s lips find themselves right on yours holding your cheek softly.
You immediately respond kissing her back having your eyes roll to the back of your head.
You were really just hoping your doing it right, but considering she’s not pulling back, you sorta come to the consensus it’s good enough!
You felt Mia’s tongue invite itself inside your mouth, her kisses now leaving and moving to your jaw and neck.
To say you were now just a bit nervous would be an understatement!
You obviously fucking liked Mia? You’d be dumb to not? But to be fair you didn’t even fucking know her middle name? Or really to much shit about her.
You didn’t know what this was? Like what if she just wants to hook up or something..! You obviously didn’t want that??
And she had to feel something was off because she pulls back her eyes now falling onto your face studying your face trying to read it. Quickly noticing how your eyes are planted on the ceiling.
“You okay..?” Mia ask having her hands drop from the back of your neck to your arms.
You didn’t even notice her lips where off your neck and jaw since you were doing your best to just disassociate.
“Hey..” Mia sits more up now her eyes meeting yours.
“W-what?” You stutter quickly swallowing the lump in your throat.
“You okay?” Mia says her eyes not leaving your face making sure she didn’t make you uncomfortable and accidentally do something wrong.
“Fuck- was I reading it wrong??” Mia ask, now starting to panic thinking she just kissed a straight girl or something?
“N-no! No! Fuck- no i’m sorry I just, I- I haven’t done this.??” You say spitting out not wanting Mia to leave or something.
“Like what? Shit with a girl” Mia says.
“At all.” You say really trying to have this justify and explain to her why the fuck you were practically tweaking out just from getting kissed.
“O-oh?” Mia says it surprised, now slowly fixing your shirt feeling bad. “Fuck i’m sorry”
Mia looks at you “I-if I knew I wouldn’t have like gone so fucking” Mia try’s to explain with her hands which failed causing you both to laugh.
“I-no your good. I just like- maybe slower.” you say looking at Mia thinking she’s gonna laugh. Not a lot of people go “slow” now, and you knew that.
“Slowwww” Mia smiles dragging out her words before softly kissing you again now not doing anything crazy like tongue, literally just kissing you.
༻♡︎༺
That was a crazy as it got. Literally just kissing which you appreciated. It also didn’t take long before the sky turned dark and Mia had to leave, you walked her out, kissed before she left and everything felt insanely intimate.
But just like in Ellie fashion she always had a whole lot to say. You hardly noticed her before she talked.
“I meant what I said by the way! Didn’t realize people were so fucking desperate” Ellie slightly laughs her hair falling over her face which she promptly moves.
You just look at her. “The fuck is your issue Ellie.” You say trying to shrug off her comments but it just doesn’t work.
“I don’t have a fucking issue, just think anyone would have to be insanely fucking desperate to go out with you, that’s all?” Her stupid fucking laugh echos your shared apartment.
“You always have a lot to say.” And you don’t even know what made you say the next sentence considering you knew hardly nothing about the situation. You had a lead, an idea of what it was so you took it.
“What happened with Cat Ellie? Dina and Jesse brought it up, fuck did she leave because of how fucking annoyed you are or?”
It didn’t take long till her face dropped the smug smirk no longer planted on her face.
Guilt stuck you hard. Sure you didn’t like Ellie but the fact her eyes are glazing over, just from one fucking sentence means you probably crossed a line.
I mean was it fair she could say all this shit about you with nothing in return. Obviously no?
But then again you didn’t know what actually happened with this Cat? You knew it was some sorta “situation” at least that’s how Jesse worded it a few weeks ago. But then again it wasn’t your place to bring it up.
“Fuck you.” Ellie’s voice chokes up for the first time in god knows how long. She turns around. So clearly the Cat thing is personal! You quickly thought to yourself!
“Ellie..” You follow and she turns around and pushes you, which almost has you fall straight back.
“Fuck off!” Ellie says her voice now stern, fist clenching at her sides.
There was no doubt she was probably going to punch you, but luckily there was a knock on your guys door.
“Ellie let us innnnn!” Dina’s cheerful voice comes through the door.
Almost immediately Ellie walks over shoving you, in the process her shoulder comes slamming against yours which almost causes you to fall back.
You hear the door open and a pair of footsteps enter. Ellie doesn’t even bother to great them.
“Okayy? Rude” Dina chuckles thinking it’s just Ellie being Ellie.
But when Ellie also glances past her and sits on the couch. Dina starts to get a weird vibe.
Dina slowly turns her body towards you “Hey!”
You don’t even know what to reply with. You just let out a slight “Hi.”
Dina tilts her head, her eyes glancing from you back to Ellie. Both of your eyes seem heavy. Jesse quickly puts down alcohol and snacks on the kitchen counter.
Quickly Finding himself beside Ellie on the couch which she quickly shoves over to the furthest cushion, being the possible furthest away from him. Hardly matters though because she stands up. “The fuck?”
He mutters looking at Ellie’s body slowly leaving, trailing to her room.
“What happened” Dina says both her eyes flat on you.
“I-I brought up Cat.” You mutter out.
Just by the fact Dina’s eyes trail straight to Jesse and Jesse immediately stands up walking down the hall “Imma check on her”
Dina nods and looks back at you once again. “What’d you say…?” Dina’s tone is stern, her cheerful tone now lacking. She’s literally just trying to figure out what happened.
“I-I just, she was being m-mean to mi-mia and m“ You try and spit out but Dina cuts you off clearly not trying to hear about someone she literally doesn’t know.
“Just what did you say!” Dina says fully over the rambling, she knows whatever the fuck you said must be bad because Jesse is still trying to get into Ellie’s room.
“I-I just said something like ‘did Cat leave you because you’re annoying’! I didn’t- I didn’t except shit. Like I didn’t except it to actually strike a nerve??” You quickly say looking down embarrassed of your words. “I brought yours and Jesses name up accidentally, I swear!” You quickly add.
“Shit..” Dina sighs rubbing her hand down her face letting out a groan. You don’t know the story and Dina’s trying to remember that.
Dina was about to talk more but you quickly cut her off. “I swear I didn’t- I didn’t except her to freak?”
Dina shakes her head. “You don’t know the story. Okay.”
You don’t even know why you care. I mean Ellie’s a dick, she’s been for the past 3 weeks. But you never wanted to actually hurt her? You wouldn’t consider yourself “mean”. But as much as you convince yourself you no longer seems if you care you just spit out.
“I- then tell me..the story?” You say.
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2 months earlier.
(Ellie)
“Ellie” Dina says laying on Ellie’s bed looking at her.
Ellie’s spacing out looking at her celling.
“El!” Dina says a bit louder sitting up waving her hand over Ellie’s face having Ellie quickly snap out of it.
“Fuck yeah” Ellie says her voice cracking trying to form a smile which feels all to fucking forced..
“We should go out tonight. You know get out of the apartment that has Cat in it.” Dina says looking at Ellie’s facial expression. The idea seems uncomfortable. Going out without Cat at this point felt foreign...just weird…
“I don’t know.” Ellie fiddles with her hands instead of facing Dina’s brown eyes which feel like they’re piercing into her thoughts right now.
“It’s a break. I mean I could invite her?” Ellie suggest looking at Dina almost like she wants approval.
Dina knows the idea probably isn’t smart but she sorta shrugs. After all it’s just a break. Not a breakup.
“Yeah! I can bring Jesse too” Dina smiles suggesting looking at Ellie.
Ellie’s eyes finally light up like they used to.
“I’ll ask then!” Ellie quickly stands up smiling at Dina before leaving her bedroom which just a few nights ago, had Cat still sleeping in it.
—————————
The argument between Cat and Ellie was stupid. Ellie and Cat wanted to go do something special for their 1st year anniversary. They had an idea to go somewhere special, like a foreign country or something. Just to get out, spend quality time. Shit like that.
Then the first problem came. Ellie and Cat had two very fucking different budgets. Ellie has lived in New York for a bit and had a stable job.
A type of job she could live off of.
Then Cat. Cat definitely had a better job, she wasn’t shy to bring it up either, quickly pointing out all the places Ellie could realistically afford were “shitty” and “gross” instantly forming a fight.
“Why do you act like i’m not trying?” Ellie says looking at Cat tears already brewing on her lower eyelid..
“I’m not acting like anything Ellie?” Cat says scoffing sarcastically. Almost like she’s blaming Ellie. “I just think your job clearly isn’t paying enough.”
“Doesn’t it matter we’re going together?” Ellie says looking at back at Cat now standing up.
Cat follows up by standing in front of Ellie. “Ellie don’t pull that shit!” Cats tone is getting louder and she shakes her head fast.
“I’m not pulling anything! You’re acting like me not being able to afford places that are 700+ dollars is like i’m purposefully doing this!” Ellie’s tone is also getting but it has more cracks rather then Cats.
“Okay Ellie.” Cat says sarcastically just rolling her eyes, grabbing her bag.
Ellies eyes are shifting from Cats hands, to the clothes she’s grabbing, and back to the bag. “W-where are you going?”
Cat sighs and shakes her head. “I just want space. I’m gonna stay at a friends tonight.”
Ellies almost baffled. Confusion is flowing all throughout her brain. “Why?” Ellies eyes again are glossy. ‘this isn’t a breakup, this isn’t a breakup, this isn’t a breakup.’
“We clearly fucking need a break Ellie!” Cats words echo throughout Ellies brain..
“W-“ But before Ellie could even finish her sentence a slam of the front door rings Ellie’s ears and she’s now left alone in their shared bedroom.
—————————
Even though Dina thought it was stupid Ellie was shoulder to shoulder with Cat as they stand outside in the alley, which the club is left of.
Ellie’s eyes are the brightest they’ve been since that day. So even if Dina thinks Ellie even talking to Cat after the fight was dumb, if Ellie’s happy. That’s what matters.
The reason they were all outside the alleyway of the club is because Jesse is the only 21 year old in their whole group so he had let them all in through the back.
And as soon as the door opened and the music poured out Dina, Ellie, and Cat all entered.
It really didn’t take long till they were all drunk, they easily got served so they got loaded up fast with shots, the whole group downing them in mere minutes.
Ellie was enjoying her night, at the end of the day she was with Cat?
The girl she loved no matter what..
“I’m gonna go get us drinks!” Cat says talking into Ellie’s ear so she can hear over the loud music.
Ellie quickly gives Cat and thumbs up and a slight smile. “Okay!”
10 minutes go by, still no cat.
it’s been 10 minutes since Cats been gone, Ellie now just wants to make sure Cats okay? It shouldn’t take that long yet it was?
Ellie quickly taps Dina’s shoulder as she dances with Jesse. And leans into her ear “I’m gonna go find Cat! She’s been gone a bit!” Ellie says and Dina nods responding with a quick.
“Want me to come?” Dina smiles looking at Ellie.
Ellie shakes her head and smiles point at Jesse. “Nah! Enjoy dancing!”
Dina chuckle and nods watching as Ellie disappears in the crowd.
Ellie is pushing through a few bodies not seeing anyone who represents Cat getting drinks. Her eyes are scanning all over debating whether or not she should check inside the washrooms?
Until she sees Cats head in the middle of the dance floor. “Cat!” Ellie yells smiling until she sees in. Her voice falls short and her smile fades.
Cats kissing another girl.
Ellie’s whole face turns pale and she gets hit with a wave a nausea that hits her like a brick.
Everything goes b in a fucking blur. Ellie’s shoving through a shit ton of bodies. Tears streaming.
The scene is..ugly..
But she’s been dating Cat for almost a year. All of it, it’s down the drain in the matter of seconds. Ellie’s hands are shaking as she pushes the alleyway door open quickly trying to calm the fuck down.
Ellie sits down on the ground her chest falling up and down as her vision blurs. Black spots are appearing in her eyes and she feels like she can hardly breath.
It doesn’t take long till she can hear Dina’s muffled voice. “Jesse! She’s out here!” Dina says crouching down rubbing Ellie’s back.
Ellie assumes she hit Dina on the way out since she was so fast to find her. Ellie’s having a full blown panic attack and it’s not going away.
Jesse also crouches down beside Dina, reaching his arm on Ellie’s shoulder asking Dina if she saw what even happened.
Dina continues telling Ellie to breath. She softly rest Ellie’s hand above her chest to follow her own breathing pattern. “Ellie in…and out”
Dina looks at Jesse. “Wanna get her some water.”
Jesse quickly nods running over to the convenience store which is across the street.
As soon as Jesses leaves, Dina looks at Ellie. “Ellie what happened.”
The sparkle which was in Ellie’s eyes during the beginning of the night is now gone. And she just shakes her head. “Cat kissed some girl. I saw her while-while it was happening.”
Ellie try’s to clear her throat, a cover to stop the tears that are threatening to spill from her eyes again.
After that night Ellie didn’t want to feel.
So she made the decision she was done with trying to feel.
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Present
(You)
“Fuck.” You sigh now realizing how much you fucked up. You brought up a situation you knew literally nothing about and probably just gave Ellie new fresh wounds which were probably just healing. “I thought the girl who moved out went back to her hometown or something, It was Cat thought..?”
“She probably didn’t feel like explaining it” Dina let’s out a dry chuckle which is to cover how fucked the whole situation is.
“Listen it’s not your fault.” Dina sighs shaking her head.
“You didn’t know?” Dina tilts her head her eyes finally meeting yours.. “Trust me I know Ellie can be a dick.” Dina says rubbing your shoulder, she doesn’t want you to feel guilty.
“Give her time to ease up” Dina nods trying to reassure you her behaviour will be better.
“I’ve gave her 3 fucking weeks?” You say. Almost all your sympathy leaving your body once again. Sure you wanted to feel bad for Ellie? But she’s mean all the fucking time.
What happened to her unfortunately doesn’t excuse that.
“I feel bad, a-and I get what happened to her isn’t fair. I know it wasn’t right for me to say what I did, but it’s also not fair for her to take it out on me Dina.” You say looking at Dina and Dina’s head drops.
“I’ve been friends with Ellie since freshman year. I swear to you she’s only ever fucking been like this these last 2 months.” Dina says, it’s like she’s trying to convince you that Ellie’s not a complete dick. Which you’re finding hard to believe.
Just as you were about to speak. Ellie walks out of her bedroom with Jesse. She looks straight at Dina then you, for the first time in fucking weeks Ellie doesn’t go straight to insulting you.
You can tell by the fact her eyes are now red she’s obviously been crying crying. You’ve never seen vulnerable before. Never with red eyes, her nose still sniffling, the outer area of her eyes still wet, you haven’t ever seen Ellie like this..
You didn’t say anything considering you couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy since you were 100% the cause to her crying.
Your eyes follow Dina as you see her step forward and just hug Ellie. Ellie doesn’t push back or refuse. She just wraps her arms back around Dina.
Ellie’s face goes in Dina’s neck and it’s like a different version of Ellie.
Not like the version you’ve constantly been seeing.
You’ve seen Ellie like this before, it was when she was sleeping on the couch after coming home drunk with Dina and Jesse..
A version of her which was calm and real. Not someone behind a dark, mad, rude, persona. Probably the Ellie before Cat decided to fuck her up.
The Ellie which felt.
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A/N -> Part 2 is here!!
I really hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, because I did actually enjoy writing this! I already have a full plot lay out for the 3 part so except that maybe next week. (don’t hold me to that 😭)
I’m gonna shift from a bit of the angst because I feel like i’m sorta shit at writing it, idkkkk!
I’m still super busy with school but so far my work load has been going down a bit, so I plan to work on obviously my other fics while still prioritizing this one! (Because I plan 5-6 parts)
That’s all! Ty again for reading likes and reblogs are really appreciated! 🫶🏽
Taglist - @a-little-bit-of-everybody @bready101 @shiimer @boobdrug @amberputh
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“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
Fanonwriter2023 on AO3
Where CANON and FANON collide!
Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
Chapter 27 is now available on AO3.
This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!
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“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”
Currently 27 chapters completed: 1.097M Words; Rated: Mature
One chapter will be posted at a time.
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Here's a snippet from Chapter 27 of emotionally distraught Buck and Eddie after Buck prepares to admit he's ready to face his death after having avoided it for 10 months.
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“EDDIE!” He screams then he hiccups on a sob but he does his best to keep talking so he can explain. “I—I don’t know how to pro—cess it. I got struck by light—ning and—and uh… I—I DIED!”
While looking at his husband, his eyes begin to rapidly move around like he’s searching for an answer and once realization sets in, he continues. “Then you… you had to…” He trails off again as his eyes widen even more and the look in them changes to something that resembles sheer horror and fear. His mouth falls open and all the words he wants to say come to a screeching halt inside of his mind.
Immediately, silence fills their bedroom, it’s deafening and the mood gets heavier but Eddie remains directly in his husband’s line of sight, so he’ll know he’s right in front of him.
Their eyes are locked on each other’s and after a few seconds pass, Buck breaks the sound barrier and yells, “OH MY GOD!”
Eddie can tell all the pieces to the puzzle from the night Buck died are falling into place but since Buck was dead, everything he knows about those three minutes and seventeen seconds was told to him by someone else including Eddie. Imagining how terrifying it must be for him sends a shockwave through his body and he fully understands how upsetting this is especially since he remembers all the feelings he experienced every time he remembered being shot. But there’s a difference since he was in and out of consciousness and he remembers bits and pieces of the things that happened and the blanks were filled in by Buck. Instead of remembering some of it, Buck’s only been told by other people what happened to him and having all those thoughts bombard his frontal lobe at the same time has to be overwhelming.
All he wants to do is take the pain away and with all his attention focused on his husband, he calmly says, “I love you and it’s ok because I’m right here with you. Always and forever, remember?”
Buck lowers his eyes like he does whenever he feels like he should have been able to fix it but Eddie’s not going to let him blame himself for something that’s not his fault. He softly suggests, “Amore mio, guardami”. [“My love, look at me”.]
He slowly raises his eyes and when they meet his husband’s, he shatters and falls forward but Eddie catches him just like he did yesterday. He’s crying so hard he’s hyperventilating and Eddie’s trying to calm him because he doesn’t want him to become unresponsive and fall into a state of unconsciousness again.
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This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!
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Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.
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Chapter Summaries
Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.
Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.
Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.
Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.
Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.
Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.
Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.
Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.
Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.
Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.
Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.
Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.
Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.
Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?
Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.
Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.
Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.
Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.
Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.
Chapter 20 - With only 14 days remaining until Buck, Eddie and Chris depart Los Angeles, CA traveling to Rome, Italy, for their first family adventure, an early morning conversation about “tying up loose ends” helps Buck and Eddie realize there are still several things left unfinished on their ‘To Do’ lists. The question is will there be enough time to complete all of them?
Chapter 21 - Buck, Eddie and Chris are finalizing their ‘To Do’ Lists, double checking their itineraries and packing their suitcases in preparation for their trip to Europe so they can board their flight that departs Los Angeles, CA on Friday, December 15, 2023 at 3:25PM.
Chapter 22 - While Buck, Eddie and Chris spend the first 8 days of their European family adventure in Italy, their primary reason for going will be fulfilled as well as several others they hadn’t considered or anticipated.
Chapter 23 - As the Diaz Family continues their Italian family adventure, they’ll say, “Ciao” or hello and goodbye to a lot of things almost immediately after they become an official and legal family.
Chapter 24 - After Buck, Eddie and Chris arrive in London, England on December 24th; the Diazes immediately start preparing to spend their first family Christmas together. During their stay, each of them will hear a few choice words that will be the life raft to get them home to complete their searches to be seen and to be found.
Chapter 25 - After spending more than two weeks in Europe, Eddie, Buck and Chris are back in Los Angeles and they’re getting ready to attend Maddie and Chimney’s New Year’s Eve party. During the event, they have plans to make two surprise announcements but the question is, who’s really going to be surprised, the Diaz family or their found family at the 118?
Chapter 26 - Buck and Eddie are once again faced with their greatest fear of losing each other but this time it could be permanent and if it is, then they won’t be able to spend the rest of their lives together.
Chapter 27 - After Buck resumes therapy, he’ll continue to face the fact that he “DIED” in March 2023 and during those sessions, he’ll learn about the 7 stages of grief. As he continues his healing journey, Eddie will be right by his side just like he promised and the Diaz family will start to deal with their three minutes and seventeen seconds loss as a family.
Chapter 28 - Will be posted soon.
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Read chapters 1-27 are available on AO3.
Continue reading on AO3
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yoongikapi · 3 days
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meeting at a cafe || NJ/SJ/YG || oneshot
fluff
masterlist
NOT PROOFREAD! found this in my drafts from like over a year ago, figured i’d post. lmk if you want the other members!
namjoon:
your laptop notified you for the second time, reminding you to find an outlet soon. you broke your gaze away from your screen after what seemed like days, frantically searching for an outlet around the crowded coffee shop. you lit up when you noticed an outlet at the nearby corner table; gathering your stuff you began to walk over but hesitated when you noticed someone was already sitting over there. you did notice however, they weren’t using the outlet but sat across from it. your heart quickened when your laptop flashed its final warning to be charged and you rushed over to the outlet across from the stranger. you quickly plugged it in and were instantly relieved that you weren’t gonna lose your work. you looked up to the stranger and were met with the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen. although he flashed a confused look, you felt your face heat up as you stared back at the attractive stranger.
“im sorry, i really needed to charge my laptop, do you mind if i leave it here for a while? i’ll just go sit back over there.” you frantically said, instantly realizing how rude this must have seemed. he shook his head back, his confused look from earlier had disappeared. “not at all, i dont mind if you stay either.” he flashed you a friendly smile and you suddenly realized you’d rather stay too. you smiled back and thanked him, quietly sitting across from him and opened your textbooks back up. you wanted to talk to him some more but didnt want to bother him, and so you tried to focus back on your work. it seemed so obvious yet unspoken that he was feeling the same, but it still remained quiet on both ends. after getting some work done you quietly (yet slowly) packed your bags. you thanked him again and headed off but didnt get very far when he caught up to you.
“i just wanted to let you know that i didnt mind you being around at all. this is for you” he said, handing you a small, folded up piece of paper. “i hope to see you again” he smiled one last time and rushed back into the cafe. you almost dropped the unfolded paper in shock. blushing heavily, you quickly added his contact information into your phone, smiling at the thought of seeing him again.
<3
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jin:
you walked in your favorite cafe for the third time this week and dashed straight up in line. you had been here so much since it opened that you didnt need to look at the menu anymore, you already had your favorites picked out. as you waited for the person in front of you to order, you noticed the one barista who stood out to you was working today. you smiled and wondered what crazy thing he’d write on your mug today. as you put your order in you noticed him turn and look at you, almost as if he had your order memorized as well. he smiled when he saw you and you noticed, smiling back. he turned and began making your order as you headed over to your favorite spot in the shop. you stopped working when you heard your name being called. looking up and realizing it was him, you jumped up to grab your order, secretly liking the way he said your name.
“just the way you like it” he smiled, handing you the hot beverage. you thanked him and made your way back to your table. taking your seat, you immediately began to search for his usual writing spot on your mug but was interrupted by a call. it was your boss asking you to come in and help with some work, to which you quickly agreed and began packing up your bags. you had forgotten all about the writing on the mug until you got to your office at work.
‘been thinking about you a latte’ it read and you laughed. making a mental note to think of a cheesy pickup line back for the next time you saw him.
<3
(i’m sorry but jin is the king of dad jokes)
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yoongi:
after placing your coffee order you went and sat in a chair in the corner of the store, deciding to pass the time by sitting on your phone. a couple of names were called and then yours, so you made your way to the pickup counter but was confused when you didnt see your coffee. you stood around for a second, thinking maybe they hadn’t quite finished it yet, but realized this wasn’t the case when they continued calling out other customers names. you nervously asked the barista if they were still working on yours and gave them your name again. you grew even more confused when they told you yours was finished and put out already. no way someone stole my coffee. it was the only logical thing that could’ve happened to it. upset but in a bit of a rush, you began heading out of the store when you heard someone else in the store say your name. you turned and saw a confused man looking around but his eyes met yours when you tuned. he said it again and you nodded in confusion until you saw him hold up what looked like your coffee. your face lit up as you headed over to him.
“im sorry i grabbed your coffee in a rush thinking it was mine.” he quickly apologized, but instead of handing it to you he took it back over to the baristas. he walked back over to you empty handed; “i had a couple of sips before i realized it wasn’t mine, im having them make you a new one.” he explained. you told him he didnt need to do that, but you appreciated it. you noticed he had a bunch of other coffees with him and decided to ask him about it to make conversation while you waited. he explained to you that he was starting a new internship and wanted to make a good first impression. you smiled when he told you which company he’d be working at; it was yours. you explained with a smile on your face that you also worked there and wouldn’t mind walking with him to work. and so when the rest of his coffees were done, you helped him carry some to work and laughed at the thought of him doing it himself.
<3
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hello ari i am gently bonking your head with mine hehehe this is how we exchange ideas ok..... now that i've heard abt arisugu n arigojo first meetings.... i do need to know abt arikenny's first interaction now!!!!! and and and.... is.... is arishoko also a thing.... bc i think she would absolutely love you too like holy fuck you guys would work so well i feel like!!!!!!!!!!! why'd i immediately think of a first meeting that's like a little clumsy and cute?? like smth along the lines of you just bumping into her in like a coffee shop???? and you'd apologize over the shoulder and then she's just staring at you with that little devious smile of hers???? hehehe idk i feel like this could be canon ok anyway ily don't stay up too late my love!!!! mwah<3 - @teddybeartoji
HELLO MICKEY :33 this is us rn
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okay so !!! i thought a Lot abt this one….. arishoko n arikenny are definitely the ones that r the least. Clear. in my mind. bUT i love them very dearly so!!!! we’ll see if i can make this cohesive 😭
FIRST OF ALLLL arishoko :33 it’s very very much a Thing honestly i think that. realistically. out of all four options shoko is the one i’d get together w irl… she’s just very much my type n i think i could charm her w my silly ways !!!!! but yes …..
OKAY SO I THINK. that. you’re absolutely right….. it’s a lot more soft n sweet than some of the other ones 😭 THE CAFE IDEA IS SOOOO CUTE cafe dates would be our standard for sure…… BUT I FEEL LIKE. we would meet. at a Bar. i don’t drink so i’d probably just be there accompanying a friend and i’m hating every second of it bc :// there r ppl around :/// the music is kinda loud and the lighting hurts my eyes :////// i’m just suffering and trying to read my lil book while my friends are dancing in the corner and ohhhh would you look at that…… a pretty girl is sitting rlly close to me…………. and i’m trying to subtly stare at her bc i’m enamored and. i think. she catches me in the act and i get flusteredPBDKDBDJD you get the vibes. i’m normal abt her.
so she strikes up a conversation …….. for SURE teases me abt coming to a bar just to read my gay little book and order sweet non-alcoholic drinks smh (may or may not make a throwaway comment abt how she has a friend who’s just like that… i’m forever thinking abt her calling gojo a big kid in one of the light novels bc she had to find a bar that sells non-alcoholic drinks for him LMAOO)…. and i am just. a little smitten. this is 100% an ari falls first kind of scenario i can’t resist the allure of a super pretty mysterious woman !!! :((((( and then i think she recommends a bar . that’s a lot more chill. that she likes. and she kinda just coaxes me into dating her i think 😭😭 i doooo see it as a slowburn but not nearly as much as the others shoko has me wrapped around her finger 💔💔
OH ANDDDD i should mention that i thought more abt the Lore both for arishoko and arigojo and!!!! i think that i’d probably be a non-sorcerer in both…. bc i think satoshoko in particular would rlly benefit from that ?? likeee shoko just meets someone outside of the school / jujutsu society and it’s just. a kind of normalcy that she doesn’t usually have!!! one that she finds rlly precious!!!! :((( and it’s the same w gojo but even worse bc i think he Craves normalcy. shoko already has canonical ties to non-sorcerers but gojo is kinda stuck in the jujutsu world so :’3 i feel like he’d meet a rando and just. fall for them very hard. they don’t know who he is, they don’t know he’s the strongest. to them he’s just. a Guy. and i think he loves that a lot. i’m just their Just Some Guy <333333 i think they’d both be reallyyyy adamant on Not getting me involved in their world at all. gojo introduces me to the students and shoko (begrudingly) introduces me to gojo when he crashes our date (😔) but it’s like. they’re protective … yk ……
…… this is already rlly long T—T BUT THE TRAIN NEVER STOPS i need to let it run its course…….
with that being said !!!! arikenny. the Forbidden selfship. the deranged version of arisugu. where do i even begin w this man….
honestly . this one is… yeah . i imagine it as an established relationship (<- very vaguely) bc it’s hard to picture Anyone capturing kenny’s attention w/o being reallyyyyy special 😭😭 which is why i have less thoughts on the Lore and more on the dynamic itself!!! but ummmm . i can picture us meeting in a coffee shop…. there’s this old wip i have where reader spots him sitting in a corner and eventually they start talking. abt the books they’re reading. nothing much just kenny picking their brain a little and yapping just to yap….. so i could picture it being kinda like that!! maybe i capture his attention somehow? 😭 it only really makes sense if i happen to be beneficial to his plan or something…? BUUT again i’m not super interested in the lore for this one!!!! so i’ll just talk a lil abt the dynamic hehe.
i just think. kenny is a freak. i’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure him out when it comes to x reader stuff bc i think his love is very unorthodox 😭 he’s just so detached yk?? buuut i think he can be very silly and affectionate in his own way :3 i fear he’s a Mother and a Father in one. in the worst of ways…. i could only picture him being in an Actual relationship w someone he views as his equal, but i don’t know if . that could ever apply to me LMAO. so if anything i think it’s similar to moji in that….. he just. finds a puppy in the pouring rain and brings it home. bc it’s kinda silly and good company. so maybe he does see me a little like. a Pet. kind of . I DOOO WANT TO SAY HE CARES FOR ME BUT. yk… he really wasn’t built for selfshipping. he’s a weirdo!! but i think it’s love at first sight for me…. i’m weak for milfs i fear 💔💔 and i think he does develop some kind of soft spot eventually :3 we’re. roommates. roommates who play board games and sleep in each others’ lap. roommates who kiss. i’d like to kiss his brain. WHO SAID THAT…
ok that was a big big ramble but !!!!! standard arimickey interaction let’s be real. it’s funny bc arishoko is so grounded somehow and arikenny is 💀💀 the way it is. i guess it’s sort of like a god/devout believer pairing … but without. the religious aspect. i think there’s very much a power dynamic involved this bitch is ANCIENT….. anyway that’s all tysm for reading my lovely sunflower baby <33333 i hope !! you’re having a nice day!!! ilyvm!!!!
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sarnai4 · 3 days
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The Underworld
I cannot even express how excited I was to listen to the Underworld Saga. It did not disappoint at all (of course, I wanted more songs, but the trio was amazing). Spoilers ahead for Epic the Musical.
"The Underworld" was an amazing setup for what we had coming. There are just so many tiny details! There are callbacks with "Full speed ahead," "Open Arms," and of course, we also have the "Ruthlessness" callbacks with the army. That would be so horrifying. He's surrounded by the 500+ soldiers who relied on him and trusted him to bring them back home. He even stated back in the Ocean saga how he didn't lose a single soul in the war. It's when they leave that everyone starts dying. Then, we have the heart-breaking Polites cameo, reminding Odysseus of how he cost his best friend his life. Now, the part that got me a little choked up was when his mom showed up. I have read even the story, so I know that she's gone, but it hurt so much to hear him realize he'd been at war so long that he never got to see her alive again. Him saying "Bye, Mom," just tears my heart strings right out. I love the contrast too of the quiet sadness in his voice with this line, then immediately yelling "All I hear are screams!" There's so much rage and pain as he's forced to confront everything that's kept him away from his family--including those he'll never be reunited with in life.
Then, we have "No Longer You." When I say the snippet did not do this song justice...(sighs dreamily). I still enjoyed the snippet, but this is probably my favorite of the bunch to listen to. The melody, the vocals, it's all just so beautiful. The tune just seems to float like you could do a ballroom dance with someone. That's not to say that the lines aren't great too. I love how this one plays on Odysseus's fears and how his increased time away from home has jaded him. The prophet basically says, "I see you with your wife, but you're messed up from your time away" and our Ithaca king is just pissed that he saw someone with his wife. Uh, buddy...well, I guess you'll find out soon enough. It's also so fun to know the story and get reminded of what Odysseus will be doing when he returns to Ithaca, fighting subjects who just assumed he had died and don't have respect for anyone in his family now. Even this entire concept to me in fascinating since it considers an underlying theme of the play: how people change due to their experiences. Odysseus will return, but it'll never be the same Odysseus who left in the first place.
And we end with "Monster" which is such an awesome ending to a first act. I wish this was live, so the audience could erupt in applause. (Small detail, but I love the music at the beginning. It's so unique when compared to the other songs and is pretty cool, gradually growing when more instruments are added). A bigger detail is that you have the instrumental intro matching the intro for "The Horse and the Infant." It just shows how far they've come and calls back to the very first time Odysseus was responsible for a lost life in the musical. My favorite line in this song is "I'm the only one whose line I haven't crossed." That's saying something too because this song is full of amazing lines. I just love the implication since we know Odysseus has often had lines he thought were too far. He didn't want to kill the baby, chose to spare Polyphemus, didn't kill Circe when he won in the fight, etc. Still, as he finally admits in this song, he did kill the baby. Despite that, he hasn't crossed his line. Why? I think it's because he keeps pushing it back each time he's confronted with something he doesn't want to do but feels he has to. It ties into the end of this song where he considers everyone he's lost, fully understanding the scope of it now that he's seen the spirits of his loved ones. Turning into someone he never wanted to be doesn't matter anymore. If he's a monster who still has a living family and hasn't proven the faith people had in him was foolish, then it's fine. He might have even been a monster before by not going against their enemies with everything he had. It's all a matter of perspective. Was he a monster for killing the baby, one for causing so many in his fleet to never return to their families, or one for both of those choices? The ending going back to "The Horse and the Infant" with him calling out for Penelope and Telemachus AND pairing that with the repeat of "Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves" is marvelous. It's almost like it's in the same sentence where he's explaining his actions to them, telling them that he has to become a monster because it'll make things alright for everyone they hold dear.
The only thing that made me mad about this is that I have no clue when the next saga is coming out or what it's even called. So, I'll just be playing the songs on repeat until I can add however many more to the playlist.
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mikkaeus · 2 years
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the moments in between
caged, TheDameJudiWench // a little life, hanya yanagihara
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scullys-scalpel · 11 months
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This line from the fic Cherry Blossom Season seemed perfect for this scene
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holytrickster · 8 months
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you know it's bad when kit calls loth arteloth fnfjjd
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strawglue · 2 years
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rin from the books of bayern series is such a mirrorball girlie
#it’s fall babyyyy#time to reread middle school fantasy classics#i don’t know if that’s a thing other ppl do#but there’s smth ab the changing of seasons…#from summer to fall#and returning to comfort books that evoke a soft kind of nostalgia#i had such an insane crush on all the girls of the series#but i remember reading forest born and after i finished it#i read it two more times the same week#i don’t think i’ve ever had a character that so deeply felt in line w me#like i’ve always processed emotions and my identity and all that through fiction and characters#but that always involved like …. extrapolation and subtext and reading wayyy too far into things#and with rin it was just immediate#the feeling that is so strong it’s more of a knowledge than a thought#that there is something deeply rotten within you and wrong but no one ever notices#which then just makes it feel as if you are fooling everyone into thinking you’re good when you’re anything but#and!!!! she has this moment where she thinks smth along the lines of#‘i’m the sheen on water. i’m not real’ or smth like that??#idk i don’t have the book on me#but like all that plus being the youngest child#she’s not my fave of all time and i actually consistently forget ab the book#but every time i come back to the series#it hits so hard without fail#reading it is like tearing open my body to stare at my soul#and finishing it is like the most healing experience possible#i don’t know just whenever i’m reminded of it#it’s an epiphany each time#books of bayern#shannon hale#booking it
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the-cimmerians · 3 months
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It's 2024. I have been participating in fandom for 40 years. This is a ramble commemorating some history I've experienced along the way.
In 1984, I attended my first convention, and made a beeline for the one long row of covered tables in the Dealer's Room that was, according to the whispered lore of my friends, 'the one'. "um", I said, very suavely and coherently, except for how it was totally the opposite of those things, "I'm here for the... for the, uh. For-"
"Come around here," the man behind the table said with exhausted ennui, so I went around, and he lifted up the table skirt next to him and pointed to rows and rows of boxes underneath the line of tables. "It's all under here."
It was all under there. Along with about five older ladies with glasses, graying hair, cardigans. Flipping through slash zines and chatting in whispered voices like old friends (which of course they were). I noticed one of them had the good sense to be wearing kneepads. I was still too young and ablebodied to need kneepads when crawling on a carpeted floor, but I immediately found her preparedness skills to be both impressive and hot. "You're new," one of the ladies whispered to me--a bit warily, which made sense. "Are you sure you're in the right place?"
In the faint light (the kneepads lady had also come prepared with a flashlight, additional practicality hotness points for her) I grabbed a comb-bound book with a heavy line art piece on the cover, featuring a musclebound Captain Kirk getting righteously and enthusiastically plowed by a stern-yet-ebullient Spock. "This," I said, pointing helpfully at the cover, like I was trying to make myself understood in a language I had only the vaguest knowledge of. "I'm here for this."
Outside at the convention, most of the attendees were wearing large homemade circular pins that shrieked 'K/S is BS!!!'1. But underneath the table, we reveled in the forbidden.
***
In 1985, I fell very hard for Starsky & Hutch fandom. Which was simply referred to at the time as 'the other fandom', because there were only two. We were upstarts. Many fannish elders predicted that it was just a phase.
***
The 'circulating library' was a massive stack of barely-legible pages that smelled strongly of mimeograph ink. When you were on the list, you would write stories while you waited for your turn, and when the big box was mailed to you, you would read everything (new finds, old favorites), add your own sloppily-typed or hastily-mimeographed stories, and then mail the whole thing to the next person. For me, at the time, it was an extremely expensive indulgence--but my favorite one.
***
By 1990, slash fandom had grown enough that I no longer knew everyone in it, which was both thrilling and a bit daunting. A young woman at a convention waited for me after a panel I was part of (I think it was 'writing impactful smut' or something like that), and said she had a question she didn't want to ask in a group setting. I'd heard that before. I said that's fine, go ahead and ask; and she came out with: "Why do you have to be gay?"
I blinked. "Is... that a problem?"
She looked annoyed. "Yes, because your stories are on all the recommendation lists and in all the top zines, but if you're gay and I read something you wrote and I get hot from it that makes me gay, and I'm not gay."
"Wow." I grinned, I couldn't help it. It probably made me look very predatory-dyke-about-to-score-a-toaster. Whatever, it was enough to make her back away from me fast.
When I thought about it later that night, I wondered what it would be like not to be the only queer person in slash fandom.
***
By 1997, slash started appearing on the internet. Many fannish elders claimed it was the death knell of slash fandom, or dismissed it as 'just a phase'.
***
Anyway, I wrote all this for myself as a commemoration of sorts, but if you took the time to read it--thank you. Love you, fandom. I always will.
1 In those days, m/m fandom was known as 'slash', which grew from the fannish shorthand where 'K&S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock having adventures or tribulations or what have you, and 'K/S' meant a story of Kirk and Spock getting it on (Kirk divided by Spock or Spock into Kirk--it was mathy fannish humor and I was into it then and I still am now). Slash was decidedly unpopular in the fannish world in 1984, and there was a concerted effort to force slash authors, artists, and fans out of 'mainstream' fannish public life. Hence, under the table.
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