#i hope all of u think this is funny & raw as fuck too

[jellyaibo]

"the crucifixion of shark bear-berry"

#EEE object show #extraordinarily excellent entities #shark bearberry eee #latte eee #broomer eee #chalky eee #TOL eee #feather eee #diary eee #poison eee #i have no idea how to tag any of these fuckers LMAO #religion cw #blood cw #gore cw #skull #nate.art #literally one of my funniest & best paintings ever FUCK #ITS SO FUNNY #i hope all of u think this is funny & raw as fuck too

[an-au-blog]

Thinking how jester!Buggy in the royalty au is literally that one meme that's like:

Mohji (angrily): Fuck the king!

Buggy: Yeah, fuck the King!

Buggy a few days later: Hey, guess who I hooked u with last night?

Mohji: Who?

Buggy: King Shanks.

Mohji: What?!

Buggy: You said fuck the- ... you didn't mean literally

Mohji: No, I didn't mean literally!

And it is so funny to me... So here's an elaboration of that :)

Buggy doesn't automatically jump in the sheets with the king. He's not that big of a moron. But after word spread that the king only laughed at the jester's jokes a wave of new preformers of various kinds started piling up at the castle's front gate to get the chance of winning the king's favor.

In the beginning the king maybe entertained the idea. But he soon realized that none of them had that raw honesty. None of them were as unfiltered, they all did it to get on his good side. They didn't mean any of it... They just weren't Buggy.

At some point he makes his people find the jester who performed that night. Word spread that the king personally requested him. So his fellow thievs encourage him to get close to the king so he can snuggle them in. "Think about how much more we can sneak out" they told him. So he decided to give it a shot. He already had quite a bit of luck the first time - he kept his head, he kept the stolen goods, he even made an impression on the king enough to be invited again.

So he goes. He tries to get himself a castle tour to scout out the terrain, but the guards escorting him weren't that naive. Still, they couldn't kick him out, after all the king insisted for him particularly.

Once he started "performing" for king Shanks, Buggy couldn't help but notice that the king's eyes seemed glued on him. At first he was worried it was because Shanks was suspicious of him. After all, with every visit, Buggy had been sneaking things out to sell on the black market. But then he realized, it wasn't staring as much as it was tracing his moves. His eyes would linger on him for a bit longer than seemed normal. Maybe it was his ego thinking he could be found attractive by a desired man like the king... But then again, the king would often stop the performance just to chat with him. He would offer him food, wine, parting gifts... Even when Buggy asked for him to show him around the castle, Shanks was eager to comply.

So to test out his theory, Buggy decided to make a bit of a risky move. He asked his friend Alvida to help him. She was a professional dancer, who knew exactly how to charm anyone. In fact that was how they became friends - she would distracted men while Buggy passed by and pickpocketed them.

When the time was right, Buggy bet it all. Vabanque - if it works they'd come out rich, if it didn't - they'd be food for the vultures by sunrise.

It started off as usual, which was followed with an invitation to dinner. After that, as the servants were serving the dessert Buggy played his cards. "I was actually hoping to try a new trick I learned. It's a shame I have to leave soon." If he was correct, his men had already infiltrate the first gates.

Shanks's eyes sparked. "By all means! Stay all night if you need, I must see it now!" His laugh sounded like thunder through the room.

Buggy huffed "Oh, my king," my king... Shanks had always loved that phrase. Buggy tried to test out all the titles he could to see which made him more inclined to say yes - milord, sire, king Shanks... but calling him my king, that was at the top of the list. Maybe it was the possessiveness, maybe it was the ego rub, in any case, Buggy didn't use it often - careful not to wear it out. "I cannot perform like this, it is unseemly."

Shanks raised a questioning eyebrow "Whatever could you mean?"

This was it. He couldn't fuck it up. If his men hadn't gotten in the main part of the castle by now there would be no way this would work. "I am much too shy to perform in front of all your guards and maids." He fluttered his eywlashes and tilted his head away ever so slightly "I couldn't possibly bare the shame of anyone other than you witnessing it..." As a selling point he shifted his eyes back to Shanks and averted them again like a flustered maiden.

Shanks bought it. Not only did he buy it - he was excited by the thought, intrigued, eager to please.

"Well, of we were alone-"

The king didn't even wait for the end of the sentence, he gestured to the main guard. "Clear the room."

He looked at Buggy for approval. Buggy shook his head 'no'.

"You know, clear the whole floor."

Buggy shook his head again.

"Make it the upper floor and lower floor as well."

Buggy was pleased. As soon as they all left, the jester started performing the "trick" Alvida taught him. "It's a dance" he said, approaching the king - he was taken aback, but not quite unpleased.

Buggy had promised his men time a bit before sunrise. He just hoped the king wouldn't kick him out before that. He soon finds that his worries are for not because the King was absolutely enchanted by every sway, every step, every flick of his wrist. And of course the jester was embarrassed, but he would become filthy rich and could go into hiding after that.

He approached the king, dancing closer with the intention to make him concentrate on him more but it seemed to have the opposite effect. The king looked away, unpleased. At one point he leaned into his palm, massaging his templates as if on the verge of a migraine. "Buggy..." he tried to say but the clown was too occupied in his thoughts of how can I grab his attention again. "Buggy." Still not stopping.

"Buggy stop. Just... stop. You don't have to do this."

"What do you mean, my king?"

"Don't... stop, I can hear the clanking of gold from three doors down. At least spear me the humiliation of insulting my intelligence." The king seemed sullen. "Take what you want and leave. I'd hate to force you to do such things against your will."

Buggy was speechless for multiple reasons. And since he didn't know how to filter his thoughts he decided ro spit them out. "First and foremost - you, milord have incredible hearing. It's inhumane might I say," his words seemed of praise but his tone contradicted. "Secondly, I am offended you imply that I would serve myself for a mere pocketful of gold! Whatever I do, I do by my own volition!"

"It is not your own volition if you feel no other choice."

"Oh, I had other choices! Nevertheless, thirdly - I am in shock that you assumed I would sleep with you for money. I am not a common whore that would toss himself at any man with money!"

"Only a man of royal blood, with money..." Shanks huffed. It was an ill-timed joke that did more damage than it should have.

"Excuse me?" Buggy was angry. "If you think I couldn't have robbed you blind all the times I've been here until now, then you are the drunk fool the rest of the kingdoms think of you."

"I know you could have. I know you've been taking less and less. That's why I wondered what your goal was. That's why I was hoping..." he couldn't say his thoughts out loud. He couldn't, or he really would be a fool.

Buggy's blood boiled. There was something about this king, this man that made him have a mix of emotions that he couldn't quite discern. He did what he did best - act upon them. He marched with an angry step to where Shanks was sitting, put up a leg on the empty armrest, grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him. It was angry and cold but then Shanks realized what was going on and melted into it - passionate and warm. When he broke the kiss, Buggy whispered "I'm doing this because I want this. And unlike you, I don't bottle up whatever's pent up."

(this got too long and it's late so imma just postit now ig)

#shuggy #royalty au #shanks x buggy #buggy x shanks #op

[fuckknowledgeandideas]

BTW i have been listening to the everything everything song u replied to my ask w AND ITS SOOOOOOOOO FAUCKING GOOOOOOOD

HELL YES I'M SO GLAD.... Everything Everything my favorite band of the world....

ALSO I'll derail this ask (sorry! you fell into my music trap) to make recommendations on how to get into their stuff since they have quite a few albums now ^-^ I'll go in order of most accessible album to least :

Get To Heaven : Their best album and probably their most well known one.. I started with this one so of course I am biased BUT. it is the most consistent one in terms of song quality in my opinion. It has a lot of very abrasive sounds, prominent bass (for the bassheads in the crowd <3), same with the drums, the singer makes a lot of funny sounds like eehee and ahaaa! and ooh!!, it's a good time. Notable songs (by that I mean my favorites) : (Well the thing is. The entirety is good. Just don't listen to No Reptiles it's stupid. HOWEVER,) Regret, Spring/Sun/Winter/Dread, Blast Doors, Hapsburg Lippp and Only As Good As My God are my big preferences in there. If you like quieter song listen to the others in priority I'd say. OH OH AND WHEEL. You should check The Wheel, see if it's turning now etc BONUS : BANGING CONCERT with BANGING RECORDING HERE https://youtu.be/qYAFCVlLWIk as a wise man once said : "I hope they got some nasty fucking sloppy after this sessio,n"

Man Alive : Baby's very first album!! This one I would say is quite depressing but quite catchy as well.. Half of the songs in there are a bit too empty to my personal taste BUUUUT the other half has a talent to make me writhe and cry on the flour. Augh. The sounds are lighter in this one but our good friend mister Johnathan Every love to yell so much it compensates largely. Notable songs : MY KZ UR BF, Qwerty Finger, Schoolin', Photoshop Handsome, Suffragette Suffragette, Come Alive Diana, and from the deluxe version I would say the most important ones to check out are DNA Dump and Wizard Talk BONUS : They collaborated with an ensemble for a concert check it out definitely they're so small in it and they are having so much fun and and there is a brass section it is so charming https://youtu.be/oCH_YGD7oDc AND you should check the demo of MY KZ UR BF. It makes me SAD! https://youtu.be/VaoHgQts5ek The roughness of it only conveys the message of it better and they have chimes in it. It's GOOD.

Raw Data Feel : Most recent released album, and it's about how we love phone more than god. Kind of. I'd describe this one as having a very dreamlike quality. It talks about apocalypse and robots and computers and how they are "terrifying and a bit sexy". They really said that. I wouldn't say it sounds more electronic than the others but it has a "blurred" artificial layer to it that makes it very unique. OH AND they did something cool with ai stuff before everyone else so props to them for that. Notable songs : Bad Friday, Pizza Boy, Metroland Is Burning, Leviathan and HEX. MY GOD LISTEN TO HEX. IT'S SO FUCKING GOOD.

Arc : A mixed bag of mehh songs and really REALLY STRONG ONES. Maybe the most sadness inducing album of theirs. It REEKS of despair. Badly. I'm saying that as a good thing. Album that feels like the dusty attic of deceased loved ones on a cold spring morning.. Notable songs : Cough Cough, Torso Of The Week, Choice Mountain, Undrowned, Radiant LISTEN TO RADIANT GOD. If you like those check Kemosabe, No Plan and Justice too. I like these very much.

A Fever Dream : ARGUABLY THEIR WORSE ALBUM. It's very quiet and empty except for a few tunes. I do think it has a very particular atmosphere that I personally ended up warming up to. Don't look up the meanings for the lyrics it's all kind of boring I think you should think about characters instead. Notable songs : Night Of The Long Knives, Desire, Good Shot Good Soldier, Run The Numbers. <- The most impactful songs to me. White Whale makes me very sad if I think about it too. Wahh

RE-ANIMATOR : It's fine. I don't have very strong opinions on this one. It has some really good songs in it. I think the thing with this one is the lyrics are a lot simpler than the others and I like the weirdness better. But it still is worth checking out those guys know how to make music. Notable songs : Big Climb, Planets, Black Hyena, Violent Sun. BONUS : They released SUPERNORMAL as a single around the time of that album and it's better than a good portions of the songs in it so check it out lol. The other single released for this album is the worst song they ever made don't worry about it.

BONUS OF BONUS : There's a playlist of a bunch of unreleased/demos/B-sides on youube if you are really motivated to check many things, some of them were in the Man Alive deluxe version though. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYCuy2Tpolc8GY7GQYX5_uYdgYpftKQ7V

Uhh I might have forgotten things but. If you don't know them that's a starting point that you can bounce off of. Have fun with tunes yayy <3

#My talk #SORRY WES you just got music'd #Everything Everything #<- Tagging in case someone wants to show this to recommend the band to anyone else #Everything Everything Band #e_e #Have a nice day (turns into a pile of dust

[screampied]

vegas ur hitting it raw post……… NO OH MY GOD 😭😭😭 i fear im pregnant 😭

i was gonna talk about sukuna’s too, but i fear that we’ll be awhile if i go on abt both so lemme js say that sukuna n sucking on the tongue caught me off GAURDDDDD, thats for sure 😻and when he said scream i giggled like a BITCH (im a scream fan so i thought of that too 😭) BUT TOJI!1!?1?1?1?? NO U ATE IM ACC IN TEARS ARUGH

OH MY FUCKING SAHGSHAYWE THE WAY HE’S IMMEDIATELY BENDING YOU IVER LIKE ARYSGD. “where do you think you going?” DONT. THAT “dont run away” SHIT ACC MAKES ME MELTS AUDGWHGSGZGAS HES SO FINENENENWNE IS HE GRABBING MY HAIR????? LWWD “get the fuck back here, no runnin today” bussaNUTTTTTSTTSTSTS 🤤

the mocking of the moans. “im gonna cum tooo” HES SO MEAN IM LITERALLY GONNA DIE HERE then you pull up with him calling the reader gorgeous as a nickname.. i would say im sick but the NEXT PART??? im bedridden. CLINICALLY TERMINALLY ILL 🤧

“cum with me babygirl, c’mon, cum on this dick” im ILL. this is getting a whole paragraph bc when i read this my stomach genuinely did a flip AND IT DOESNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO CARTWHEELS SO IDK WHO TAUGHT IT THAT BUT OMFGS??? THE TALKING THROUGH IT ACC MADE ME DIE. NO NO U DONT GET IT VEGASSSSSS, IM ACTUALLY DYINGGGGGGGGGG THIS IS WHEN THE TEARS CAME IN BC AHHHHHHH THE BABYGIRL THE CUM ON THIS DICK LIKE EVERY MAN SHOULD BE LIKE THIS IM DEAD

“got myself a nasty little bitch” AUGH???? YES THE FUCK YOU DO AND ITS M-E, ME !!! NO THIS ALSO DESERVES A WHOLE PARAGRAPH BC I LIKE BEING CALLED NASTY,,,, BUT A BITCH TOO??? W THE LITTLE????? ALL COMBINED PERFECTLY (i like being called a bitch, to a bad extent…) TO MAKE ME SEE STARS. im not okay. im literally not okay 😭

“where’s my thank you?” youre inching my fingers closer to my holes, im not doing this 😭😭 “thank you sugar” ANDDDDDD IM DONE

“you are on the pill though, right?” “…” LMFOOAOA?? YOU NEVER FAIL TO END IT OFF FUNNY 😭😭😭

i need to acc read the last part of toji dbf im too scared to end it 😞😞💔💔💔 no but frls pookie, this is my fav multi character drabble bc HOT DIGGITY DAWG DID I JS GET FED 😻

— pearl anon <3

HELPPPPPOO i always appreciate ur commentary tysm boo 🙂‍↕️💓

noooo like let’s rly tawk about itttt. running away from toji’s dick he’d rly be like “you ain’t going nowhere, take that shit.” oh i’d pass away tbh reader is stronger than MEEEEE

i need sukuna n toji so bad i’m ill with you 🙆‍♂️

HELPPPDFF ikr the ending, guess we’re baring toji’s child now yolo 🫦

and omg don’t be scaredddddd heh but IKNOWWW i don’t want it to end either sobbing i miss him alr 💔💔💔 hope you enjoy tho pearly tysm :((( n stay safe !!! mwah 💓💓💓

#anons 💌 #pearl anon #🧁 #BYEEEE U MENTIONINGSCREAM HELP #i’m a fan too what’s ur fav movie 🫦 mine is 1 / 2 and 4

[stephsycamore]

Hello friends. Yet another post on a topic literally no one here signed up for but the blog is about my hyperfixation of the month so here we are

I have been reading dramione. I know in my last post i said i was ki da over dramione after a couple of fics because i find the pairing too toxic but i only kinda lied because i have just reread the like 4 dramione fics i found and liked and now i will review them. Technically i have read/started more than 4 but i won't be commenting on fics i didn't like because that isn't fair to the writers.

The first one was manacled. Which i know what a fucking reintroduction to the fandom. But i am no young newbie. I used to read and rewrite A LOT of harry potter fic and while its still fuck jk rowling, she doesn't financially benefit from fic and i heard years ago that she doesn't like fic so. I hope its all a big fuck u to her.

Anyway, manacled. Wow!!! What the fuck???? It has lived rent free in my head ever since. I literally cannot stop thinking about it. If ever i reentered the harry potter fic world let it be known that it would be so i can write fanfic of this fanfic. A couple points - manacled is kinda overly long and would benefit from an editor/beta reader, but I heard senlinyu wrote it on her phone while nursing a baby and just???? Idk what her day job is, but that woman needs to be doing creative writing mfas, writers workshops, residencies, whatever. That is extraordinary creative talent.

I think the first part with hermione in the manor was a bit overly long and too torture porn ish. A lot of the scenes bordered into the unnecessarily gratituous. But overall, it was well plotted, well written, and gut wrenching. The last section takes my breath away

The second fic i read was Remain Nameless. And while i kinda don't love smut (it makes me a little uncomfy) i think remain nameless is a perfrct example of fanfic as a genre. Within fic, there are obviously genres, but there are stylistic elements and things that I think makes fanfiction a genre in itself. Remain Nameless is an exploration of character that goes beyond the confines of conventional or traditionally publish-able story structure. It is too long, too drawn out, too indulgent to be a traditionally published story. If i swap out the names and details in Manacled or Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in love (up next) out, its a probably close to a stand alone novel, but Remain Nameless relies on you knowing and already caring about Draco and Hermione. I don't mean that disparagingly at all, I just think sometimes people don't realize that fanfic should be different from traditionally published novels and that is a benefit of the genre. I think Remain Nameless is great. Its an indulgent, fluffy read that takes two broken people and slowly puts them back together again. Its like a hug in book format.

My next one is DMATMOOBIL!! I loved this one. And the author??? You cannot convince me that this fic was not written by someone with literal years of publishing experience in contemporary romance. No way. Its too good. Not just in a good writing way. Manacled is good in an unfiltered, raw talent way, but DMATMOOBIL is polished. The plot is perfectly structured and then each chapter within that is perfectly structured. I loved it. It wad witty, funny, heartfelt, and exciting. Not sure what more I can say about it. It reads like published fiction both in its polish and readability, and I think of all the fics I read has the best worldbuilding. It is truly exciting to read about the possibilities of magical and muggle science colliding in this book and bringing their world to the 21st century.

The last fic i read was Green Light by SereneMusafir. I thought it was so good but would benefit from being split into two maybe even three books. Green Light features a journalist coming to interview Draco many years after the events of the book, so that kinda complicates splitting it up, but as it stands, the story parts are too vast and thematically disparate to be one book. The first part has Draco and Hermione on an expedition in the desert to find a archeological myth and the writing is extraoridinary. Its poetic and cinematic. But I think at times it all tries to do too much. Like I said, the whole thing needs to be split up but each chapter also needs to be a bit shorter. Again, I don't mean cutting content, but rather restructuring. As it is, I read an incredible scene, but then there's like 5 more scenes of something else, and by the time I'm at the end of the chapter, I've kinda forgotten what amazing prose I read earlier on. Things get lost in this way. Beautiful passages buried.

I think two or three books would also allow each thematic section to be explored better. Idk i thought about this one a lot. I likely will not reread Green Light the way I have reread the others on this list, but other than Manacled, it is the one I think about most. Its the most ambitious plot wise and it kinda got lost in that ambition but I think it has so much potential and was over all very good.

Anyway. That is the end to this book review no one asked for. I will likely not be reading more dramione. So here ends that brief of excellent phase.

#dramione #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry pottet fanfic #dramione fic #draco malfoy #hermione granger #manacled #senlinyu #remain nameless #heyjude19 #draco malfoy and the mortifying ordeal of being in love #isthisselfcare #dmatmoobil #green light #serenemusafir

[foileadeux]

CURIOUS- What is your process when making your animatics? And what do you use your individual programs for most? (Ei: csp for art and moment / vegas for effects or somn)

Also, I recently got csp ex for animatic/animation stuff myself- You have any tips for how to make big projects alike yer animatics/tions ?

SO. umm. if im being good and professional i'll do the smart thing and do thumbnails for my animatics to outline the gist of what i want. but uhh if im being honest i only did that for lavender town of which you can watch the wip of here! (for some reason i also animated a little bit within these thumbnails which you shouldnt really do but whatever)

but for the rest of my animatics ive thumbnailed in my brain which is very bad and i advise against it. bc i can remember a few times in toba the tura, my heart still beats and mama where im just sitting there like. uhh. what next HAHA so its just good to draw out smthn beforehand or plan ahead even if its messy!!! my only saving grace is how fast i am at drawing so im able to make up for this LMAOO dont be like me for each of my animatics i make one Big csp file (and a backup) which stores all the frames for that animatic (its usually just titled "a" or smthn i am very uncreative) these bitches get huge. So many layers. theres around 600 layers for lavender town alone. if i were smarter id split these files up so it didnt take ages to load and save but alas i am not. But this is where i do my frame by frame animation basically, i just lower the opacity of a frame and draw over it (onion skinning is the term for this iirc), usually i draw key frames of movement and then just inbetween them so they look a little smoother (e.g: a head turning to the side, id draw the back and then the side profile, and then draw the inbetweens of that motion) , im fond of the choppy lower fps look so thats what i go for! i definitely do not set out for super ultra smooth animation or id be collapsed on the floor rn i think as for editing with sony vegas pro, i import all the frames from csp and use "track motion" and "pan/crop" to tween stuff! (like... make it go from left to right, move the camera around yknow) which is a huge crutch for me Especially in toba the tura, i did very little frame by frame animation for that one LMAOO (not shitting on tweening u can do some really fuckin fun shit with it, like that shot of pk stabbing the lance sentry in toba the tura) i do overall prefer the look of frame by frame but i use a hybrid of the two!! theyre both super cool, complicated and fun in their own ways tbh.

heres some extra stuff, the fucked up looking timeline of my mama animatic and a look at some of the raw frames (hair lego pieces)

funniest part of my Animation process is wanting the hair and body to be paced differently so i have to slot the hair in like its a fuckin lego piece on a different layer. this truly was the hell of the mama animatic. theres also just an entire layer dedicated to mouths for lip syncing. very funny anyways thats about it, i hope this has been enlightening!! if you have any like super specific specific questions feel free to dm me! i dont have too much experience animating using an art program's animation features specifically tho, so i can't speak to those! i compile and pace all the frames on a timeline in sony vegas pro basically so csp is just for drawing each frame out for me!

#ok last ask i swear #ask #my art

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

A GENBU fan's guide to using GENBU Lite SynthV (no one asked)

Download SynthV Basic (it's free)

Download Genbu Lite (it's free)

For the most part that's it. You know have husband material in your computer for free 👍

But if you were here for some advice on how to make the best out of it, since it's a free Standard voicebank - and the only masculine one at that...

I personally recommend the following:

If you're using a VSQx, UST, svp or anything that was originally sung by a feminine voicebank, lower it by one octave. You can do that easily by selecting all notes (Ctrl+A) then pressing Ctrl+D. (Ctrl+U does the opposite.)

Ctrl+A when it's like this:

And Ctrl+D will do this:

This is not mandatory. This is a step to try out if you were confused about his voice being too high pitched. However, it is okay to use a higher octave if that's what interests you for your project! Not only that, but because GENBU Lite's range is fairly small, you will most likely find him easier to use in a range between C3 and C4 - and no lower.

If your project is mostly within his range but requires some lower notes, my personal Tip and Trick is to lower the fuck out of the Breathiness parameter.

For example, my cover of "Orizuru" had an overall breathiness parameter of -0.130, but for notes that reached C3 and lower, it looks like this:

On other files, for other songs, I didn't bother to do it note by note and just did this for the entire file:

It will instantly make him sound clearer. You can then adjust loudness, tension and such note by note if you'd like.

One last tip would be. Keep in mind that he's a standard voicebank. You might be tempted to use Mai, or Sora, or Teto's auto tuning on him; but it might not sound very good. Standard voicebanks, especially their Lites, may require "flatter" tuning to sound their best. This is coming from someone who loves her AI voicebanks and their auto tuning 👍You should DEFINITELY try what you want and have fun with it, but sometimes they won't stick the landing and are better off staying safely on-key.

I don't think I'm the best at using GENBU Lite by a long shot - some people have me jealous, and I'm in fact not that good with masculine voicebanks, though I love them so much and they inspire me to practice - and most importantly, even the biggest GENBU stans will tell you that his SynthV Lite isn't the best. Still, I honestly like it. Testing it out is what made me fall in love with GENBU and his himbo-core loudness; I'm very thankful to have him as a free product, especially since he was the only masculine Lite voicebank for a long time and still is the only Japanese masculine Lite; and I think that with the habits I mentioned above and with practice, he can actually sound really nice, even raw (and even better if you're good at mixing).

Is it the brainrot talking? Maybe. But in case you hadn't considered trying GENBU Lite at all, I think you should! You might have fun! He's a funny guy and he looks good!!!

I'm still seriously looking forward to a potential GENBU AI and I obviously hope he sounds closer to his VP, and even to his VOICEVOX TTS voicebank. I also assume it would have better range and be easier to use. Still, GENBU Lite exists right now; it can sound nice; it's free; it's an option. Even if we get a more accurate GENBU AI in the future, I will keep a soft spot for the sound of his old standard Lite. SynthV AI haters should be with me on that one... But tl;dr: yes GENBU can have a voice of his own that is worthwhile without randomly trying to make him sound like Teto.

And tl;dr: the way to make him sound "less like a chipmunk" is not to mess with his gender parameter but to make him sing in an octave more within his range.

#random #actually brainrot #no one ask #synthv #synthesizer v #genbu synthv

[milesworld96]

FINALLY GETTING TO WATCH RAW YALL, I AM SO EXCITED

SAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HIIIIII❤️ oh, the ko shirt. That’s fine. That’s funny. Hilarious even. Wow. 😢, I ALREADY MISS ZOWENS. GRRRR BRO GOT ME IN MY FEELS☹️☹️☹️ SIR⁉️⁉️⁉️ WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATERIAL⁉️⁉️⁉️ FUCK YES. wait bro wym the reason he ain’t on raw anymore, YO WHY U BRINING JEY INTO THIS. yalls ☹️☹️. I CANT. Yo Sami speaking the truth, I love him. OHHHH SHIT JUDGEMNT DAY😍😍😍 OH LAWD THEY LOOK SO FINE. GIRL???? RHEA IMMEDIATELY GETTING DEFENSIVE OF DREW WHEN DAMIEN BROUGHT HIM UP?????? IS THIS A SIGN. damn so Rhea basically saying Sami is the orphan no one wants💔 GIRL JEYYY, GET UR MANS‼️‼️‼️‼️ Sami listen to Jey💥💥💥 WHY R U IFNORING HIM NO😭😭 LOOK AT JEYS EYES‼️‼️ HOW CAN YOU LEVE HIM

SHINSUKEEEE😍🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 WAIT FALSE COUNT ANYWHERE⁉️⁉️ OOOHHHH SHIIIT, OH MY FUCK THIS MATCH IS SO SLAY LIKE WHAT🤯🤯 THESE MOTHER FUCKers ARE CRAZY, RICOCHET BRO WGATST. NUNCHUCKS⁉️ BRO MICHELANGELO FR BRO THEY GOING FUCKING CRAZY MAN. WOOOOOOOO SHINSUKE FUCKING WON

OMFG SAMIJEY SPOTTING AGAIN😭😭😭😭😭 SAMI WHAT THE FUCK. I UNDERSTSND WHERE YOUR COMING FROM BUT ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ stop blaming Jey‼️‼️‼️‼️ Yeah Jey speak it‼️‼️ Girl Sami going through it don’t worry bbg you’ll be fine. SAMIJEY MAKE UP AND HUG WOO🫶🫶

OMMGGGGGGG TEGAN AND NIKKI‼️‼️‼️😍😍😍😍🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 OOOOO CHELSEA AND PIPER R HERE TOO😭😭😋😋 lol Katana and Kayden spotting too. OMG TEGAN V CHELSEA? YES PLEASE

HES PIPER IS ABOUT TO SERVE SO MUCH CUNT, I LOVE HER. LETS FUCKING GO. AND I WAS RIGHT, SHE MOTHER FUCKING DID. YEYSYSHHSHDSYSYEESHSH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TEGAN MY LOVE HAAAAIIIIKKI :33

IMPERIUM PROMO VID LETS GO, THEY ARE SO COOL I CANNOT DO THIS. I LOVE THEM, CANT WAIT 4 LUDWIG & GIOVANNI TO BE CHAMPS SOON

DAMIEN FINN & DOM DOM. bro why yalls thinking bout JD like that, GIRL NAH THEY TRYNA JUMP DREW😭😭 DomDom is such a mama’s boy. I LOVE THEM, ENOUGH WITH THE CONFLICT NOW. LET THEM ALL BE HAPPY 2GETHER FROM NOW ON☺️☺️💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

AAAAAAAAA SETH, SERVING ONCE AGAIN. ILYYYY. omg I need his shoes. Oh lawd, this match between Seth and Drew is gonna serve so much cunt @ Crown Jewel😍🫶. NAAAAHHHHH SETH CAME OUT WITH EVIDENCE AND EVERYTHING😭😭 BRO CATCHING RHEA AND DREW FR.RUGGEDLY HANDSOME? SETH SAYING THE TRUTH.NAHHH DREW CALLED HIM A THIRSTY CREEP, LEAVE JEY ALONE HE WAS GOING THROUGH A PHASE PLEASE😭💀 eneheheehheehhehe Drewww😈😈 I RESLLY HOPE HE WINS @ CROWN JEWEL. ay don’t be nasty to Drew Seth, you stfu😡 SETH STFU, YOU AINT KNO SHIT. WATCH DREW PULL UP ALONE @ FIRST, AMD THEN FUCKING RHEA AND DOMDOM COME LUT AND HELP HIM GET THE WIN💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 (estoy loco, I am delulu.)

OOOOOOOO BOY ITS BRONSON REED😈😈

RAAAAAAAAAH LUDWIG😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚 HAAAAIIIIKK OH SHIT JOHNNY GARGANO⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ EEEEEEEEE OO BOY IM EXCITED. NAHH WADE GOT TF OUTTA THERE LMFAOOO, JOHNNY GIRL 😭😭😭 SO HAPPY TO SEE JOHNNY BACK AAAAAAAAAA. THIS MATCH IS SLAYING SO HARD OMFFFFF. AAAAAAWWWW GARGANO LOST😭😭😭

Becky😡 INDI & CANDICE😍😍🤯🤯 OMG HIIIIIII INDI, HAIIIIIII CANDICE :3 OMG BECKY V INDI, LETS GO. LMFAO RHEA. WAIT DID BECKY SAY BECKY TWO BELTS BEFORE GOIN TO COMMERCIAL 😨😨🤯

OMMGGGGG DREW & SAMIIIIII. Compliments from Drew, hm bro what you gettin at🤨🤨 AHT, YALLS PLS STOP DRAGGING JEY😭😭😭 🤯DREW JUST DRAGGING EVERYONE LMFAOOO. wait, they keep mentioning Sami ab the world championship shit. OMG ARE WE SETTING THAT UP FOR THE FUTURE⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ AAAAAAAAAA, WAIT DREW V SAMI NEXT WEEK😨🤯 YES YESYEYS

RHEAAAAA😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 HAAAAAIIIIIIIIII :333 HIIII SHAYNA. OOOOOO THE MAULIN😍😚 NIA GTFO PLS, OMG RAQUEL. BEAT HER FUCKING ASS YESS LETS GOOOO. OMMMGGGGG ZOEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY I LOVEE YOU, J NEED MORE OF HER OMFG

HII XIA, ITS BEEN A WHILE. JADEEEE OMFG HI HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI PLEASE MAKE IT OFFICIAL, JADE CARGILL V BECKY LYNCH AT CROWN JEWEL PLEASE. IM BEGGING, I NEED IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

HIIIIIIIIII BRONSON, HIIIIIIIII GUNTHER. YOOOOOO GUNTHER, BRONSON WTFFFFFFFFF😨😨😨😨😨😨 YESEYSYSYSYSYS G7 THER WON

OMMMMGGGGG POOKIE BEARS❤️❤️❤️❤️💙💙💙💙 CODY AND JEY ILYSM, BUT YOU ARE JOT WINNING. oml they never gonna give up that bit from the press conference are they?😭💀 they are so cutie patootie

MIIZ MY FAV ASSHOLE, OMG HIII. nah fr tho, we need more MIZ. LMFAO THAT IMPERSONATION, GTFO OUT NIA I DON WANNA SEE YOU

RHEA💜 yo stfu. WOAH, FATAL FIVE WAY⁉️⁉️⁉️ ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL RHEA. ZOEY, NIA, RAQUEL AND SHAYNA AT THE SAME TIME? HWTA

INDUS SHEER ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

LMFAO WHAT IS TOZAWA DOING, HE IS SO SILLY I LOVE HIM. OMG HI KOFI, HI XAVIER. Not the hip thrusts🤯🤨🤯🤨🤯🤨🤯. NAAAAHHHHHHH KOFI XAVIER😭😭😭😭😭

OMG ITS TIME, ITS FINALLY TIME OMGGGGGGGG HAIIIIIII I LOVE MY BBGS. SORRY CODYJEY YALLS LOSIN💀 PRIESTBALOR 🔛🔝 EEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE MY GOTHS HAIHAIHAi AAA THIS MAYCH IS SO GOOD WTFFF OMG DOMDOM NO😭😭 WAIT YESYES RAAAHHHHHH THIS MATCH GOT ME SO NERVOUS WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCUUUUUKKKKKKK JIMMY⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ YOOOO AINT NO FUCKING WAY🤯 OMG YES YESYEGRHHDBDBBD YES FUCK YES JUDGEMENT DAY HAS ALL THE GOLD AGAIN‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

#wwe monday night raw #sami zayn #jey uso #damien priest #rhea ripley #dominik mysterio #finn bàlor #shinsuke nakamura #wwe ricochet #tegan nox #nikki cross #chelsea green #piper niven #gunther #ludwig kaiser #giovanni vinci #seth rollins #drew mcintyre #bronson reed #becky lynch #indi hartwell #candice lerae #shayna baszler #raquel rodriguez #zoey stark #jade cargill #the miz #alpha academy #the new day #akira tozawa

[kiss-your-eclipse]

Hello, this is KittyAnn from AO3. 👋I came here to chat more about Episode 6. For me, episode 6 was such a rollercoaster. In addition to the “will they, won’t they” almost-kiss scenes and sizzling romantic/sexual tension between Akk and Ayan, Eclipsers were also pulled headfirst into the raw emotional pain of Akk and Ayan. We saw the characters at their absolute most vulnerable, especially Akk. When I watched Ayan comforting the near-panicking Akk, I wondered if he was feeling parallels between Akk and his uncle. He couldn’t save his uncle, and so he desperately wanted to save Akk. Anyways, after finishing episode 6, I rewatched episode 4&5 and was surprised at how so these earlier moments hit differently now that I knew what thoughts were running through Akk’s mind in each scene. Please share any interpretations or observations you have about this milestone episode.

omg hi!! sorry i'm so late answering this ask, this week has been insanely busy for me ㅠㅠ

episode 6 was absolutely INSANE in terms of all the new knowledge we now have to reckon with and tbh I'm still processing everything

When I watched Ayan comforting the near-panicking Akk, I wondered if he was feeling parallels between Akk and his uncle. He couldn’t save his uncle, and so he desperately wanted to save Akk.

THIS!!!! YES EXACTLY!!!! this is exactly what i thought when i watched it too!!! the devastation on ayan's face as akk described all of the weight he shoulders each and every day as head prefect, even if it means potentially injuring his classmates.... god, I'll never get over that. i rlly believe ayan was seeing his uncle's silent struggles in akk's confession and realizing just how fucked suppalo is and how it can twist even the best people into shadows of themselves :(

knowing that ayan knew—the entire time—that akk was behind the curse was like a bucket of cold water being thrown on me, i feel like i need to go back and rewatch the whole series now and reexamine all of their interactions omfg

smth about that that's actually rlly funny tho, is the fact that ayan saw akk—the boy he saw nearly send a car careening into the jums—running after him and what does he do??? fucking flashes him and then threatens him w a hand all the way up his gd thigh!! i canNOT w this boy 😭😭

their game of cat and mouse becomes this huge monster that u don't even realize was lurking just around the corner now that we know it wasn't only that ayan and akk just didn't get along, but that ayan could have very well gotten akk in some serious trouble (if not w chadok, who most definitely put him up to it, than w the rest of the school) if he wanted to

also: in terms of other episode 6 scenes, i'd be remiss to not mention the kiss 🥲 i can't tell u how many times I've rewatched it bc it's just absolute perfection. something that rlly interests me about that scene is that there's virtually no sound at all. there's no soundtrack, no ambient noise/room tone... just akk and ayan, and i think that makes the scene all that more tender and intimate bc there's no sound to hinder any of the experience

ty for ur ask! i hope i hear more from u :))

#asking me about my current obsession is the fastest way into my heart #kittyann i could talk about this show for HOURS #also! hope u enjoy the new chapter of 'only faint marks remember you'

[lolexjpg]

dts s4 e6-8

e6: -hearing claire talk abt williams after leaving, i hope she's happy seeing how they're doing now :) -straight up forgot latifi got any screentime aldfkjaskdfljaksld -if there is not a williams episode in the new season i will riot i NEED this kinda focus on my boys -SPEAKING OF logan cameo hi baby!!!!!!!! -all the talk abt strategic risks is making me wanna get back to my f1manager williams save. it rly IS like that -not george getting on the radio to say prioritize nicky cuz hes in front 😭😭😭 hes such a good boy LISTEN -its great just to see how much it meant to everyone working on that team. i'm so glad williams got a dedicated episode and istg if they dont get another one this year -i love george russell so so much btw. overwhelmed w my love for him :')

e7: -YUKI EPISODE -HI LIAM -i adore the liam/yuki dynamic so much btw it is so underrated n special obsessed w them -laurent rossi i hate u btw -the estie/nando pre divorce dynamic is so iconic u just know they were fucking raw -i /do/ not like the way the present estie as a rookie like hes in the same category as yuki. i think they couldve told their stories together without creating false parallels -i cannot WAIT to see this race its so fuckin bonkers -"yuki do you need support?????????" "no 🥰🥰🥰" -nando picking estie up and twirling them around i NEED to know what caused the divorce -i do fucking adore estie please free him from the alpine shitshow toto wolff pls help

e8: -valtteri v george is the vibes of the new mistress trying to replace the long term wife. if i had to describe it alkdfjasklfjadlkf -sorry this scene of him ordering coffee w/ carmen is just too funny to me "normal milk, any milk is fine" ok old man (like i'm not the same) -yall have to admit this was pretty cunty. bro was in a williams and still was like yeah let me make a move on current champions mercedes' car thats a good idea. would he rly be my special bby boy if he didnt go balls to the wall on occasion. love him -max and george are the SAME how doenst everyone see -anyway i hope george and valtteri are cool now. it is a pretty iconic tiff tbf -the whiplash between e6 and e8 george is STAGGERING -"at the end of the season, i want to look in the mirror and say i gave my everything" i love listening to valtteri talk he is so well spoken and such a lovely man. i've never seen anyone who hates him honestly -small brocedes moment and i'm foaming at the mouth. i'm gonna miss them so much 😭😭😭😭 -i will say the non-linearity does bother me more than it did the first watch, i think after you've seen a full f1 season front to back it shifts your perspective and makes the jumping around harder to settle with. it is wierd going back to silverstone 6 episodes later -i need to hear susie wolff's opinion on every f1 issue i'll listen to her blindly -BAN WET RACES IN SPA -that lando crash gives me goosebumps. i knew it was coming and still wasn't prepared

#dtsrewatch #she speaks

[jiilys]

would u help me out for a second. im in the mood to write for the first time, and i think your style is beautiful. sitting down n actually trying though, im stuck as fuck! i’m realizing that in your dialogue/scenes you’ve got a lot of Little Things. little tiny elements that are subtle & just enough. how are you deciding that lily is building a house of cards at the moment or sirius is sitting in a tree or whatever during a given scene? how do you come up with those ideas for dialogue that are so silly & real & sneakily tender? do you know where it’s going when you begin? any advice for just… starting something?

ps: i appreciate you. you make it look easy & that’s very very cool

This is a lovely question!! Sorry it took me so long to get to it, I didn’t want to get it wrong. Also I’ve included some examples to try and explain what I mean in practise, but it also comes off rather like plugging. tragically this is unavoidable. Anyway, all that being said I have no idea how to advise you about dialogue and coming up with it, I think just listening to people talk helps. Don’t forget contractions, and when in doubt always trust the reader to keep up, real people don’t say perfect or even grammatically correct sentences a lot of the time. We also cut each other off all the time, especially when we’re trying to be funny. Like, here’s an example from warm front:

“He’s not even two. He probably would have thought it was, like, having a lie down or something.”

Harry was laughing now, “A lie down?”

“Yeah, a spontaneous, truck-induced–“

“–Permanent–“ “

–Permanent, lie-down. I’m almost jealous now actually.”

Another thing, but people say um and like or can't speak or cut themselves off, especially when they’re nervous. James when Lily says she loves him for the first time: ‘“Wow,” He breathed, “I’m– wow.” He put both hands on her cheeks and kissed her crazy, abruptly, dumbly. Her head spun.’ He can’t even speak! Dumb boy.

I think natural dialogue sometimes just requires you to read it aloud, which is very embarrassing but ultimately quite useful in trying to figure out whether something sounds normal or not. Use casual words, and try not to go dictionary hunting: if you cant think of the word chances are your character can’t either

In terms of concepts I have no idea, but I do have a few tips. I write all my short one-shots in one document (its called ‘just bad’ lmao) so its easy to start something, write a few lines, and then if it doesnt work just start a new concept, but still have all the old stuff handy. if you feel like you’ve written yourself into a corner its probably because you took a wrong turn earlier, so its just a matter of going back up and figuring out where you turned onto the dead end, or where a line could be funnier and/or sadder and/or more meaningful. Sometimes the bare bones of a decent line is there but you have to work it a little.

In this harry/ginny thing where harry is apologising for all the attention and ginny brushes him off she says:

“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”

The response went through a few drafts, all variations on the same thing:

(1) “You’re funnier.” [too short, doesn’t make sense, and not really that funny. unholy trinity]

(2) “You make it funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, “It’s not– you make it like that.” [this could work! I have no idea why I cut this, I think I forgot abt it lmao]

(3) “You’re the funniest person I know, Harry said, sincerely, and Ginny felt her heartbeat all through her, “You make it funny.” [jumping from ‘its more funny than annoying’ to getting this sincere out of nowhere is a little much, even for harry who is famously whipped]

I ended up going with this:

“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”

“You’re funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, flustered, “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”

It follows the flow of the conversation and I think the way he says it, ‘you’re funny’ like its obvious, and then being like oh fuck and over-explaining it stumbling a little “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”. You know when you like someone and you say something that gives you away before you can stop yourself? I wanted it to sound like that. Just gotta keep in mind how people behave, we are so stupid a lot of the time, we give ourselves away.

The thing about short stuff i find is implying a lot of history without actually describing a lot of it. I normally do this by having memories come up as almost shards, one second of feeling. You know when you’re in a conversation with someone and they mention someone or a past event, and it rises to the top of your brain, but only for a second? i find sometimes when you’re reading stuff people will try and replay entire memories or events mid-conversation, which is not something you do when you think. You don’t need to replay it beat by beat, you were there! This sounds vague as hell so I’ll try and show you what I mean:

From good crimes: “Petunia is engaged.” Lily’s voice, raw and wrong, “To Vernon. Eliza Hunt told me at the supermarket.” Sudden flashes of Petunia, the only time he’d ever met her, sat in the back of Lily’s twenty-first, pinched and whispering. “Whose Eliza Hunt?” This seems as good a thing to say as any.

pretty on the nose (the phrase ‘sudden flashes’ is pretty so i'll allow it from past me). But see how you don’t need to know how Petunia didnt talk to anyone, how she left early, how she was the odd one out: you don’t need to read all that, you already know because she was sat in the back and because pinched is such a mean verb, spiteful and sharp, you can already imagine how the evening went without me saying so

From my proposal take, after Sirius finds out they’re engaged: Sirius’ grip on his shoulder tightened for one second, still grinning, and James knew what he meant. “I know.” He said, because only Sirius had been there for all of it, when they were fifteen, drunk on Firewhiskey for the first time and James had said I think I’ve fucked it, I think I’ve fucked it but I like her for real.

you don’t need a description of the whole night, what party they were at, who they were with, what they were talking about: the important bit is that Sirius was the first person he told, and that they’re both remembering that at the same moment because they’re soulmates lmao. You know when something big happens for a friend and you feel so full of pride & love that you feel like you’ll burst into confetti?? this needed to feel like that, and you only need a flash for it

I feel like I’ve sort of strayed off from what you asked me, which is really advice on how to start something. I normally start with a line, usually of dialogue, and then try and build from there because dialogue is my thing. You might have a different thing! Some people write from concepts or locations, or an image. i might start with one or a few lines of dialogue, write them down, and then try to build from there. For example for the proposal thing I started from james just saying “Marry me”, which I find more romantic than ‘will you marry me’, purely because it sounds like he simply couldn’t stop himself from saying it, like it rushed out. Another example, this thing started from just “don’t be mad at me” “okay” James agreed instantly, because he is such a sucker for her.

When I write I don’t normally know where I’m going! I normally set out to write something I think is vaguely funny and evokes An Emotion, and then I just play around with stuff until I get there. when I write certain stuff and I have scenes in mind, stuff I want to happen, but I find that if I try to plot it to tightly its not exciting to work on, because sometimes you write a good line by accident, that you hadn’t thought of when you sat down, and you surprise yourself. That is a really nice feeling! i want to maximise that feeling.

'What I mostly try to remember is that writing something down, anything down, is useful. Sometimes you write for a whole night and dont get anything useable, but its like clearing pipes. Sometimes you have to flush through shit to get to the good bits. All the rough stuff, the things you don’t like or didn’t work, you wrote to get you to the stuff that did work. All of the bad shit got you here! It wasn’t a waste, you were working to find the good thing

If I had any tips its just the usual stuff, read! It is annoying how much that helps. Also, and I know this may make you shudder, but reading poetry is useful just because in no other literary or media form is language so important. In comics you have pictures, in novels you have plot and character, in film you all that and cinematography, but in poetry you live and die by how good the words are. If you want recs here’s my poem roundup tag, that I do sometimes, or if you want something just now read this by Anne Carson, which uses words like ‘smashing’, ‘boatwash’, and ‘green’ in the best way possible. Also it has these lines: “Recently having learned to recognize the type of tree called sycamore, / I see them in any forest— / the ones that look harrowed, / in shreds, but / go also / straight up into life,”

I mean, think of a sharper image than that?? It’s not possible. Just try remember to stay true to your characters and that in real life, the little stuff is the big stuff. Little things the people around you do normally show they care more than big speeches, and if you want to show love that’s how to make it feel lived in. You want to build a world! the little stuff is usually the world. Take some from your own or dream the ones you wish you had.

This truly was a very kind message and I’m so grateful you like my stuff, I hope any of this was even half-useful, although now reading it back it is borderline nonsensical. I’m going to bed now, good luck with the writing, and don’t forget to send it to me!!

caro xoxo

#writing bitching #said it already but loved this message it was so thoughtful. seemed pretty articulate to me i think ur writing is gunna be just fine!!! #rooting for you & anyone trying to write something rn. words suck and are difficult! they are also better than drugs & sex. regretable #kindnesses

[novamirmir]

can u write a natasha x fem reader fanfic based on favorite crime by olivia rodrigo where nat cheats and distances her self from the reader and they have been dating for awhile. and nat breaks up with r after she like confronts her about it? thank you love 😁

Genre: ANGST :)

Word count: 986

Request: yes

Warnings: Cheating, couple of swearwords. Not much else I don't think. Maybe just general pain?

A/N: I had so much fun writing this. I mean it totally broke my cold dead heart but I loved this request. I did make Brucie boy kinda the bad guy in this because Brutasha hurts me. I hope this is what you were looking for anon <3

Favorite crime

Loving Natasha Romanoff was…different. It was a whirlwind of excitement, danger and passion. It was the kind of love that consumed you wholly and left you burnt, bruised and wanting more. And I loved her completely.

Know that I loved you so bad I let you treat me like that I was your willing accomplice, honey

The signs first started when date nights went from nearly every night to a few times a month. I was naïve. I assumed it was just work. She is an international spy and full-time avenger. The date nights ceased to exist a month before it happened.

And I watched as you fled the scene Doe-eyed as you buried me One heart broke, four hands bloody

The arguments started soon after. It would be over little things, things that shouldn’t even matter. I would leave a pair of dirty socks on the floor; Natasha wouldn’t put the toilet seat down. It was like a well-oiled machine the amount we would argue, throw things, cry. Well, I was the one crying. Never in front of her though. The scoffs were too much at this point.

The things I did Just so I could call you mine The things you did Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

Yet, even with all the bitter things we said to each other, we would always end up in bed, having rough sex. There was no loving touches or pillow talk. It was raw and carnal and held nothing but hurt.

You used me as an alibi I crossed my heart as you crossed the line And I defended you to all my friends

“Y/n, she can’t treat you like this.” Carol told me as we sat drinking whatever alcohol was placed in front of us.

“It’s fine. I’m sure she was just called away on an important mission.”

Carol hit the bar with her hand. “It’s your damn birthday. She’s your fucking girlfriend. Did she even tell you happy birthday?”

I didn’t answer that. I just took another shot and hoped I could erase the image of her laughing with Bruce the way I used to make her laugh.

And now, every time a siren sounds I wonder if you're around 'Cause you know that I'd do it all again

I was sent on a mission. Tony needed some chemical from some top-secret lab. It was supposed to be the key for fixing the Hulk. I wasn’t confident it would considering the amount of times the building had to be evacuated because of a failure to fix ‘code green’. It took me less than two days to get the right chemical. Less than two days for everything to go to shit.

When I entered the Avengers compound, Jarvis instructed me to go straight to the lab so Tony could start work right away.

“Y/n! Haven’t seen you around in a while. If you could drop this off at Bruce’s room then we can catch up while I work.”

I had missed Tony’s vibrance. He always had a funny story, and the silences were never awkward. It’s bittersweet to think about the damage that we do 'Cause I was going down, but I was doing it with you Yeah, everything we broke, and all the trouble that we made But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face

I wish I could say that when I opened Bruce’s door and saw a certain redhead there too, I was hurt, that my heart broke in two. But that would be a lie. I was so tired I wasn’t even shocked. I just placed the bag down and walked out. I continued walking for what felt like eternity until I reached my apartment 5 blocks away.

Oh, look what we became

That night, Natasha came over.

“Here are your things.” I passed her a box filled with little things she had left at our my place. “I don’t want my things back. Burn them for all I care.” I turned around to close the door, but she put her foot in the gap before I could.

“Let’s talk?”

“No. you know I have hard limits and cheating is one of them.”

“Listen there’s no need to be bitter about it. You just don’t fit into my life. You never could. You were a fun little distraction from my feelings for Bruce because I thought he could never be with a monster like me. And besides” She lets out a dry laugh “He’s got a real dick.”

I wanted to tell her she wasn’t a monster. But she was, just not in the way she thought. She wasn’t a monster because of all those people she had killed, or that she couldn’t have children. She was a monster for not just breaking up with me. For playing this hideous game where neither of us were really happy. Sure, I could have broken up with her but she was never around so when it came down to it, there was no one to break up with.

“Leave. I don’t ever want to see you again.”

“Well that’s going to be tough considering we work in the same place y/n” She rolled her eyes

“Not anymore.” I reached into my pocket and showed her the plane ticket that took me back to my hometown.

All the things I did Just so I could call you mine All the things you did Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

That whirlwind, the danger, the addictive taste of Natasha Romanoff was one of the best things in my life. Perhaps that’s why it completely destroyed me. Why it ruined me for any other type of love.

Your favorite crime Your favorite crime 'Cause baby, you were mine

And yet now, as I sit here looking back, I see that what I was describing wasn’t love, but lust.

#brutasha is a no no #cheating #natasha romanoff x reader #Natasha romanoff x you #black widow #natasha romanoff #request

[unbridgeabledistances]

hi y’all<3 here’s a new section of the gallavich as seen from alternate POVs fic, this time featuring lip!!!! (i wanted to wait til after the ✨lickey drama✨ in the new ep before posting, but then i decided against it bc i didn’t want to re-write this lol)

i started to have way too many feelings while writing this so it’s a little lengthy and contemplative, but rest assured it features some domestic fluff/ian and mickey being disgustingly in love- i hope u enjoy<3

--

Lip shuffled into the kitchen of the Gallagher house, opening the fridge door and reaching past the clanging beer bottles to grab a metal soda can on the way back of the shelf, hearing a faint fizz escape as he popped the tab. It was late, the moonlight streaming in across the kitchen through the worn curtains and pooling on the kitchen floor— after Tami had crashed in their bed at the apartment after a long day at work and Freddie was sleeping soundly in his crib, Lip had come by the Gallagher house, without really knowing why. He just needed to clear his head, to get some distance from Tami and all her relentless nagging about moving and apartment hunting and his colossally obvious fuck-up with the bikes— he just needed some space, some less stifling air to breathe outside of their half-packed apartment crammed with boxes lining the walls.

It was funny; no matter how much energy Lip had poured into he and Tami’s first apartment, into painting the walls and agonizing over their kitchen backsplash like it was his first-born son, whenever Lip thought about home, whenever he felt that pit of uneasiness growing in his stomach and he just needed a place where he could lie back on a couch and loosen the knots in his shoulders and breathe in familiar air that would fill him up, instead of the too-clean smell of Tami’s flowery potpourri that she’d placed on the expensive coffee table in their living room— Lip always found his feet leading him across the slabs of sidewalk and past the chain link fences towards the Gallagher house, no matter the time of night. He had only been in the house for a few minutes before he felt the tight-knit something in his chest begin to unfurl— he didn’t even want to start to think about what was lodged there. This had been a crazy fucking couple of months, and he wasn’t going to start getting sappy about selling the house now, not when they were so close. He’d dug a hole too deep this time, and he needed the money. He couldn’t fuck up again— not with Freddie to take care of. No matter what it cost him.

So that’s how Lip ended up sitting at the Gallagher kitchen table at 2 a.m. on a Thursday night, sipping at an overly-sugary pop that was no substitute for what he really wanted to be drinking right now—he could imagine how it would warm the insides of his stomach, how it would cushion whatever weird fucking ache was in his chest right now. But— no. Fuck no. He wasn’t going to do that now. Everything about selling the house, about moving on, was about getting his shit straight— about leaving the bad parts of this sagging roof and these stained floorboards behind him.

Lip slouched in the wooden kitchen chair, scrolling on his phone and finally letting out a breath he didn’t really know he had been holding in all day, when he heard a creaking of footsteps padding at the top of the stairs— too heavy to be Liam or Debbie, too careful and unfumbling to be Frank dragging himself through the house. Lip flickered a glance up from where he was sitting and met Ian’s eyes as he turned the corner of the stairs, his skin looking translucent and overly pale in the moonlight like the ginger motherfucker he was.

Ian nodded his head towards Lip in acknowledgement, like he wasn’t surprised in the slightest that his older brother with a whole ass family and apartment of his own was decidedly squatting in the kitchen of his childhood home, drinking a pathetic-looking can of Dr. Pepper. Ian slid open the fridge door, grabbing a beer and swiftly popping the cap off by knocking the bottle on the side of the counter—and then in an instant it became one of those quiet, familiar nights when it was just Lip and Ian in the kitchen, sometimes letting easy conversations flow between them, but other times, just like this— just sinking into each other’s presence in the silence. Ian’s shadow mingling with the moonlight on the kitchen floor immediately snapped the atmosphere from lonely and self-pitying and stale to something lighter, something familiar—like the worn, buttery leather of a baseball glove that fits just right.

Instantly Lip was brought back to so many nights before this, of he and Ian orbiting each other in the kitchen at night— when they were kids and would creep down the stairs and eat fistfuls of junk food that Fiona had forbidden, or steal warm sips of the open beers Frank had left on the counter. This was where they’d processed Monica’s return, late at night while they passed a cigarette between them and Ian hadn’t tried to hide the tears that were freely rolling down his freckled cheeks, back when they were both just confused kids who clung to each other— this was where they’d processed Frank’s alcoholic meltdowns, too many to count, and all the love and loss and confusion that had passed between these walls, all the collateral damage of living in this fucking neighborhood. And Lip felt a sudden pang in his gut, sharp and present, when he realized that it might be one of the last nights that he and Ian got to spend in the kitchen like this.

Lip immediately shoved the thought down with all his might, a hydraulic press squeezing out any sentimentality. He had to do this— for Freddie, for Tami. He had to man up and move on, even if it meant physically wounding the crumbling walls to ease the pain of the parallel jagged wounds somewhere deep in his chest, or screaming and shouting until veins popped in his neck, so loud that he knew he was radiating his pain outwards like a fucking atomic bomb.

But tonight, Lip had no more fight left to give. He just wanted to let these four walls hold him one last time, without even realizing that was what he had needed until this moment. Ian slid a chair out from the kitchen table and sat beside him, leaning back and dragging out a slow, sleepy breath.

Lip cleared his throat, softly. “Where’s Mick?”

“Passed out upstairs.” Ian scrubbed a hand over his face. “I couldn’t sleep.”

Lip raised his eyebrow, almost involuntarily, and Ian immediately jutted his chin up in a half-nod, an affirmation, as he leaned back even farther and took the first sip of his beer. No, he wasn’t manic and yes, he was fine. After all the years that had passed since Ian was still figuring this shit out, Lip sometimes forgot that checking in on him wasn’t really his job, not anymore.

Lip took another sip from his soda can, a movement to fill the easy silence. “How was your guys’ night?”

Ian shrugged non-committally, his shoulders still slumped back in the chair, his lips puckered around the mouth of the bottle as he stared off into the distance at the peeling kitchen wallpaper. “Eh. It was fine. I dragged Mickey out to try and make more gay friends. Ended up being a mistake.”

Lip held back a laugh, taking a sip from his own drink to mask his smirk. He had ample auditory evidence that Mickey was plenty as gay as Ian, but it was still hard to imagine Mickey leaning into all of this shit— Ian used to wear golden underwear and frequent gay clubs and go to social justice brunches, but none of that really seemed like it was Mickey’s scene.

“Oh yeah? Mickey not the easiest person to befriend?” Lip said it with his eyebrows raised, like the joke was obvious.

Ian looked up at him, like he’d been snapped out of a sleepy train of thought, staring earnestly like Lip’s jab had flown right over his head. “Actually, it was kind of my fault. I was the one who made us leave this dinner party thing we got invited to. They were all talking shit about the Southside, about how they hated their families, and I couldn’t really… connect with them, I guess.”

Lip pondered that, taking a breath and stretching his arms above his head. God, he was sore— he hadn’t even been fucking working, aside from hauling those bikes from place to place to avoid the cops, but all the pent up stress and tension was starting to linger in his bones.

“Yeah, it was the same for me. In college, or whatever. Joaquin was the only person I really talked to, because he got all the shit I was always going through.”

Ian nodded contemplatively—but he was staring off into space again, almost like he was half asleep. Lip took another sip of his soda. He could bring up the house shit again right now—it was all that they’d been talking about for the past few weeks—but for some reason it felt too raw, too intense to bring up right now, like it would cut through this peaceful moment, this island in the vast sea of uncertainty Lip knew he was bringing down on all of their heads. So in this moment, he opted for smoother waters.

“Why’d you guys go looking for new friends, anyways?”

Ian finally broke out of whatever drowsy, pensive trance he’d been in, his lips sloping into a smile. “Mickey kept giving me shit for always doing what you do, after breakfast today. I figured… I don’t know, I just got all pissy and tried to prove him wrong.”

Lip felt the corner of his mouth tick upward at that. “Guess you’re stuck with me.”

Ian grinned, and held out his beer bottle, stretching his arm across the table. Lip tapped it with his soda can with a light “Cheers,” then took the final sip. He crushed the can to a disk on the table, pressing it down firmly with the heel of his palm and watching the sides compress. Ian’s eyes were cast downward at the table, watching his movements.

“How’s stuff with you and Tami going, all the packing and shit?”

Lip turned the flattened can on its side, contemplatively spinning it like a top on the table and fidgeting with it between his fingers.

“Honestly? I’m fucking exhausted.”

He could hear the breathiness as he said it, how deflated his own voice sounded. And Lip knew could make himself say more— he knew if anyone would get it, Ian would.

“It’s just… fuck, man.”

He looked up and Ian was staring directly at him now, his expression unguarded— listening. Listening like he always did in these moments. Lip let out a low chuckle, trying to shield his own vulnerability.

“How’d we get so fucking old? How is this… it, y’know? Finally leaving the fucking nest, or whatever.”

Ian smiled, placing his beer on the table. “I think you already left the nest when you had a baby and moved into an apartment with your girlfriend.”

Lip shrugged, fiddling with the crushed can again between his fingertips. “Yeah. Guess you’re right.”

“And you are the one making us do this, for the record.”

If Ian’s tone wasn’t as playful or as tentative as it was, Lip would have worried that he was upset— but judging by Ian’s still-comfortable slouch and his steady expression, Lip knew he was fine— he was weathering the storm, just like Lip was.

Ian leaned forward.

“Hey. Mickey was giving me shit—but it is true. You’re my best friend, even though you can be a fucking asshole sometimes.” Ian’s lips curved into a crooked smile. “Nothing’s gonna change that.”

Ian’s eyes flickered around the kitchen as he spoke, and Lip heard everything that was unsaid. Even though you’re kicking us out of the house. Even though you’re changing everything. Even though there isn’t a focal point to our lives anymore.

You’re my best friend.

And Lip felt that pang in his gut again, sharp like a dagger.

**

He’d said it before, and he’d had no problem saying it over and over again in Mickey’s absence, up until the months before the wedding— Ian did always go a little bit “loco” when Mickey was around.

Which, fuck him, I guess, for caring about his little brother with an undiagnosed mental illness who was off living in the Milkovich House of Horrors slash meth lab with Mickey fucking Milkovich, the bully with greasy hair who Lip wrote papers for in high school and who now was a literal, actual, godforsaken pimp. Lip had seen a teenage Ian bruised and drunk and curled into himself crying over Mickey too many times to ever think that this shit was a good idea— and years later, when Ian almost threw away everything, almost threw away stability and sanity and his fucking family to follow Mickey Milkovich across the Mexican border, Lip knew he had to say something, even though it was an unspoken rule that he and Ian didn’t really critique each other’s love lives since the Mandy-and-Karen fiascos of years past.

So he’d said it, that day in the kitchen, after Ian had returned on a Greyhound bus and they were still processing the dull pain of Monica’s loss— and Ian had taken the feedback with a closed-lip smile, like his head was somewhere else, as he picked at the corner of the beer bottle label with his thumb.

And then less than a year later Mickey was released anyways, and ended up standing in a tank top and boxers in the middle of the Gallagher living room, when the house was crawling with strangers and Freddie was barely two weeks old— and Lip had taken in a sharp breath, a bundle of hesitant nerves sprouting for whatever the fuck this situation was going to become; but not one that he could really give attention to, with all the other bullshit that was pulling at his focus, like the desperate screeching of his newborn kid and the mascara running down Tami’s face.

Later that night, when he’d had a spare moment to breathe and Tami was finally calmed down and sleeping in their cramped bedroom, he’d run into Ian in the moonlit hallway as he was stumbling his way out of the bathroom, drowsily rubbing his eyes with his hair sticking up. And Lip had stopped him with a whisper, placing a hand to tap Ian’s shoulder as Ian blinked the sleep from his eyes.

“Hey. So uh… I see Mickey’s out.”

He’d seen the defenses immediately raise in Ian’s eyes, like he knew what Lip was going to say next.

“Yeah.” Ian had said it soft, quietly, like he was afraid of someone waking.

You sure that’s a good idea? Lip could feel the words itching on the tip of his tongue, and he was aching to say them again, all these years later— and yes, maybe his head was so wrapped up in his own shit that he didn’t really have the authority to be doling out relationship advice to his little brother right now, but so much of this reminded him of things that had happened in the past, of Mickey Milkovich crashing on Ian’s bedroom floor until he inevitably couldn’t anymore, until the pressure cooker of his presence mingled with Ian’s inevitably exploded— or at least that was how Lip saw it. There were too many wounds, and they were bound to leave scars— Lip was honestly surprised as fuck that the Gallagher house was Mickey’s first stop out of prison, after everything that had gone down between the two of them.

But, for Ian’s sake, Lip tried to reign it in—despite the fact that they’d just been commiserating about “being in love with crazy people” as they crouched on the living room stairs the night before as Ian sipped on a beer, sputtering out a “fuck no” when Lip asked if he was going to marry Mickey (which was an equally as batshit question as if Lip was going to marry Tami). Despite all of this— now that Mickey was back, Lip could see that this was something Ian wanted, that this was something Ian was treading carefully into, one more time. He was definitely stronger now; even Lip could see that.

“He gonna be hanging around here a while?”

Ian had given a gentle, sleepy smile. “Yeah. Think so.”

And Lip had just reached out, and clapped Ian’s sleep-warmed body on the shoulder. “Sounds good, man.”

Ian had walked the remaining length of the hallway, opening the bedroom door— and in the shadows, Lip could see that Mickey was curled on the old, concave mattress of Ian’s single bed that he’d slept on since they were kids— and Ian had lifted the thin blanket and pressed up next to him, the mattress sinking beneath their collective weight, settling in and pressing a kiss to the top of a snoring Mickey’s head without a second thought. Huh.

That was the beginning of Lip starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, this time with Mickey would be different— and it was. As Mickey started to become a daily fixture in the Gallagher house, constantly pinned to Ian’s side, Lip had noticed how something solid had shifted—they weren’t reckless kids anymore, for starters. He hadn’t really seen Mick and Ian physically together since Ian was catapulting off the deep end, in the weeks after Ian had gotten dragged away by the P.I.s and Mickey had gotten locked up for some crazy fucking stunt trying to murder Sammy. Things were too intense then, too technicolor—for some reason, Lip thought Mickey being back meant that they’d return to being that way.

But now here was this guy, placing a gentle hand on Ian’s chest and saying “Woah, wait a minute” to protect Ian from the batshit P.O. that had just barged through the door—and Lip couldn’t help but realize that was something that he would have done to protect Ian, in a universe where Mickey was still behind bars.

After then, Lip just kept seeing it— the ways that Mickey showed up for Ian. Not even in the ways that he used to, like forcing Ian to take his meds back when everything was uncertain and Ian was slipping through their fingers like sand in a sieve; but in a more solid, adult way, in a way that made Ian buzz whenever he was around him, in a way that made Ian happier and lighter. And maybe it was just the sex—part of it had to be the fucking sex, considering how loud they always were— but Lip realized, after a couple of weeks of Mickey’s presence in the house before their whole eventual engagement fiasco, that Mickey was Ian’s friend, in addition to all the other things he was. After all the years of uncertainty, they’d finally grown the fuck up— Mickey was someone who brought out the best in Ian, and it was like Ian had been waiting for this moment, for Mickey by his side, before he could fully and totally bloom.

And it was weird how emotional that made Lip— after seeing Ian as a hollow shell in a jumpsuit pushing garbage cans around a college campus, or pretending to be someone he wasn’t who wore patterned button-up shirts and threw around fucking useless five-dollar words that Lip didn’t understand like “gender identity” and “intersectionality”— Ian had finally made it, beyond being the bruised, scrawny kid getting sexually abused by a creepy 30 year old man in the back room of a mini-mart, or getting high off his ass every night and starving himself to fit into a golden thong, or wearing a baggy janitor suit with dark circles under his eyes and pallid skin. Ian had done that shit on his own, and made himself into something in Mickey’s absence, sure— but so much of him being the full, happy person he was in this moment was because of Mickey, and Lip could see that now.

Ian was himself— he wasn’t a shadow anymore.

And that was why Lip had said he thought he should marry Mickey, in the end— because there was no doubt in his mind that Mickey Milkovich wasn’t going anywhere, not anytime soon.

Lip could still see it now, in the way that Ian was lounging comfortably in the living room, like he had his whole life— but now Mickey was resting just as comfortably beside him. It was a few weeks after that night in the kitchen, and Lip had just pitched the FOR SALE sign in the Gallagher front yard— now everyone was huddled in the living room, for what they now knew was one of their last lingering nights in this space. Liam was sitting next to Lip, pressed into his side, seeking the comfort that Lip knew he needed through all of these massive fucking changes— Franny was playing on the floor and Debbie was sitting beside her, and across the room Ian and Mickey were pressed side-by-side on the fraying loveseat, scrolling through the lease document for their new apartment on the battered laptop. They were murmuring things to each other that Lip couldn’t really make out— but Mickey was pressed against Ian, slouching into him slightly, and Ian’s eyes were light. In his flicker of a glance towards them, Lip noticed that Mickey was playing with Ian’s hand, swiping a finger over his wedding ring, as Ian scrolled through the paperwork and started to read all the contract information out loud— and Lip smiled to himself as he tried to tune out all the sappy bullshit that was going on in that corner of the room.

Ian was going to be just fine.

**

Hour later Lip strode out the door to the front porch, a cigarette he’d bummed off of Ian wrapped in his fist— he didn’t smoke anymore, especially not under the same roof as Tami, but there was something about the gravity of this night, of the flimsy red and white sign rooted in the front yard, that made Lip’s fingertips itch for a cigarette and made his brain buzz with the want of nicotine to dull the sharp edges of everything he was feeling—for smoke to float in front of his face while he sat on the front steps just one more time.  

He perched on the front steps as the sun was just starting to set, the fish-scale shadows of the chain link fence encroaching further and further into the yard as he flicked at his lighter.

He heard a light cough from somewhere in front of him— and saw that Mickey was outside too, blowing smoke out of his mouth and leaning against the fence in the front yard facing the house. Lip nodded at him in acknowledgement, then took the first drag. Fuck, he’d needed this.

“You gonna miss this place?”

 Mickey said it into the open air, like he isn’t really talking to Lip— his eyes were off in the distance, staring at the paint-chipped front façade of the house. Which was fucking bullshit—why would Mickey be staring absentmindedly, almost fucking wistfully, at the Gallagher house?

It’s not like he and Mickey didn’t talk— they definitely did, pragmatically flinging banter across the kitchen to each other at breakfast when coordinating rides for Liam or grocery list items when Debbie was off at work, existing in the same space every morning— and Mickey helped him haul literal tons of iron when he’d helped him steal the bikes, had haggled over his cut. But never like this—never with any weight, never in a way that was this casual, or this familial, about fucking feelings.

Part of that was probably because it was hard as fuck to worm your way into the Gallagher family—as wide open as their door always seemed to be, with people filtering in and out and crashing on hallway floors or the lumpy couch, this house only continued to function because of its nucleus— because of Lip and Ian and Carl and Debbie and Fiona and Liam and yes, even Frank. Everyone else was a passerby, an impermanent blip crossing through the way station; Jimmy-Steve, Sean, Carl’s slew of girls, Mandy and Karen.

Monica.

None of them were Gallaghers— none of them considered this place to be home, or got all the privileges that came with that. The Gallaghers, the real Gallaghers, had seen every one of these people come and go— and something slippery suddenly crept into Lip’s realization that despite all the odds, despite all of his doubts about him—Mickey had chosen to stay close to these four walls just as much as Lip had.

“Mickey’s family.” Ian had said it over a mouthful of bacon at breakfast a few weeks ago, and Lip had immediately shot him down; but maybe there was some truth to what Ian had said, some truth to the oddly unfailing consistency to Mickey’s ten years. Which meant that maybe…

Maybe it was time to make a fucking peace offering, or whatever.

Lip hummed in acknowledgement to Mickey’s question, pulling himself out of his train of thought.

“Hey. Mick.”

Mickey looked up at where Lip was leaning on the porch, his brows furrowing like he was bracing himself for a confrontation. “Yeah?”

“My head’s been too far up my ass the past couple of months to say it, but, uh. I’m glad you’re family, y’know?”

He’d been passively thinking it for months— but he’d never said it to Mickey, never this directly. He hoped Mickey got it, without brushing it off or shooting him down with some snarky fucking comment like he always did. Lip meant it— he was glad, he was grateful, he was ready to let Mickey Milkovich keep being a part of his fucked up familial life. And he hoped that Mickey saw that.

Mickey just rolled his eyes, taking another drag of his cigarette—but he didn’t say anything in reply, not for a moment. And then:

“You’re as sappy as your fucking brother, Phillip.”

#i’ve said it once and ill say it again nothing makes me more emo than ian and mickey sharing ian’s old bed #also sorry this was kinda ANGSTY what can i say #lip is Too Much #gallavich #gallavich fic #shameless #shameless fic #gallavich fanfiction #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #lip gallagher #ian and mickey #ian x mickey #ixm

[football-writing]

Mason Mount - believe in me

Warning: contains mentions of mental health issues and depictions of a panic attack. Also is generally a bit of an angsty one so if you're not comfortable with reading any of that please skip this! And if you yourself are struggling with mental health, I'm always here for you! <3

*also panic attacks can differ from person to person so please take everything i've written with a grain of salt lmao

He was franctically looking for his car keys after the texts he had gotten from her.

"Mase can you come over?

i need u

please"

Double texting wasn't a rare occurence between the two of them, but the tone of texts made worry take over as he quickly texted her back that he'd be there soon.

And as soon as he found his keys, he was sprinting for his car and driving as fast as he legally could to get to her apartment, cursing as he couldn't find a parking spot quick enough for his liking. Then running up the stairs, taking two steps at a time to get to her as soon as possible.

Her door was open already, something she always did when she knew he was coming over, despite him scolding her for it everytime because he was scared someone was gonna break in and hurt her.

Those thoughts were on the back of his mind now as he rushed in, finding her sitting in front of her couch with her knees up to her chest, hugging them tight as her forehead was rested on top of them, shielding her face. Papers were spread around her, some crumbled up in balls, others thrown a few feet in front of her. The mess that was her apartment was a red flag for him, but it didn't shock him as much as the state she was in. Her breaths came out hard and fast as she barely could breath between her erratic sobs.

He stood frozen as he watched her. As quick as he got here, he had no idea what to do when he saw her like that. His chest tightened at seeing her like this, and he was ready to fight whichever bastard caused her to feel this way. Yet the rational side of him knew that that was of no use to her now. But what was? What was he supposed to do when his she was this upset? Sure he'd seen her upset before. But not like this.

He realised he couldn't just stand there either, and so took a few steps towards her. The sound of his footsteps alerted her of his presence, and she looked up through watery eyelashes. Her pale face stained with rundown mascara from her tears, her lips quivering as she silenced her sobs for a short moment to look at him. Yet as soon as she made eyecontact with him, and opened her mouth to try to explain what was going on, or apologise for the state she was in, a loud sob escaped, her breath stocking in her throat as tears flooded her eyes once again.

This time he didn't freeze, although his heart ached just as bad, if not worse. He took another couple of steps until he was right next to her, crouching down as his eyes remained focused on her form.

"Hey sweetheart. Shh, it's okay. Can I hug you, baby?" His tone was soft as he asked her, yet she shook her head vigorously and squeezed her eyes shut tightly at his question as her breathing instantly became more uneven, and he thought she was going to faint if her breathing came out any faster than it did now.

But how was he going to comfort her when she didn't want him to hold her?

It was then that he remembered one of his mates telling him about a panic attack he had, how he couldn't think straight, or breathe, barely utter out a coherent sentence as his mind had wandered to awful things, and although it had sounded rough to him at the time, seeing her like this made him fully recognise how terrifying it is. He wished he had asked his mate more about it, then, so he knew what to do. Although he had no idea how to start such a conversation with him. Nor with her, for that matter.

So he did what he thought would help her most. He picked up some of the papers spread out around her, neatly stacking them together as he emptied a space next to her. Enough so he could sit down there, his back against the couch just like hers. Soothing words spilled from his lips in an attempt to calm her down. He almost reached out a hand to touch her, rub her back soothingly, or stroke her hair to make sure it didn't get in her face. Yet he withheld his urge to do so, even if it was the most natural way for him to comfort her.

"Hey. You don't have to say anything, okay? It's gonna be okay, I'm here. Shh, it's okay, love. I'm not going anywhere."

His soothing words did nothing to ease her mind, her cries coming out more ragged than before. He had no idea how he could've possibly made it worse, and panicked as to what to say next. Instead, she started speaking, her words cut off by devestating sobs and hiccups and gasps as she tried to take in as much air as she could.

"I thought I had it under control but- but I don't and everyone hates me now. Everyone hates me! And there's too much and- I don't have time and everything is messed up and I don't know how to goddamn fix it - I can't fucking fix it. I don't know what to do- I can't do it, Mase. I can't do it." She repeated those last few words over and over like she was stuck in a bad mantra, her voice raw and loud and full of pain.

"Hey, babygirl. Shush, it's okay. No one hates you, alright. I wouldn't be here if I did, right?" He tried to reason with her, tried to swallow the lump in his throat and steady his voice, not wanting to let on how much it affected him. It would do her no good. "Just keep breathing, yeah. Deep breaths, babygirl, just like that." He said as he demonstrated how to do it. It took her a good few minutes to get her breathing under control again, but he was patient with her as he kept guiding her, words of encouragement filling the air every time her breathing threathened to become unsteady again.

After her breathing became steady, as steady as it could, her sobs still continued. Her eyes spilling tear after tear that ran down her cheeks only to be caught by the sleeves of her sweater that her chin rested upon.

"I'm such a failure. I can't even function properly and look at me! Look at the mess I made!" She cried out exasperated. "I'm so worthless Mase. You shouldn't even be here, I just bring you down. I'm no good Mason. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Y/N," He tone was commanding, forcing her to look up at him. He kept eye contact as he spoke. "If you cannot believe in yourself, believe in me. You are the most wonderful, funny, intelligent and allround beautiful person I know. You are not a failure. At all. Whatever this is, we can fix it, okay? I got you, and we'll figure it out together. I'm not going anywhere."

His words were reassuring enough for her to steady her breathing, which eased the tight feeling in his chest. She lifted her head too, instead opting to sit back against the couch completely, the back of her head resting on the seat.

"Can you-" a sob interrupted her softspoken words "distract me?" A whispered 'please' followed her question as she turned her face to look at him. Her eyes were puffy and red, as were her cheeks. She still looked incredibly upset, but her sobs were less loud, and she seemed to have calmed down considerably from the state she was in when he found her.

"Yeah. Of course." He smiled softly at her.

"Do you want me to tell you about my day?"

She nodded as she wiped her nose with the sleeve that was pulled over the back of her hand.

And so he told her all about what he had been up to. It felt weird talking about his day, after all it had been quite decent up until her text. Still, he tried to talk as animatedly as he could, knowing it would cheer her up. He told her about how his sister had texted him pictures of her daughter's birthday cake, or what was left of it as her daughter had eaten it. With her bare hands, that is. Her hands that she had also somehow rubbed over the entire dining table and parts of the couch.

The story got a small chuckle out of her, and after a few more sniffles she seemed to have stopped crying. Yet he told her about his training too, in hopes of hearing her beautiful laugh ring throug his ears once again. He told her about how him and some of his teammates had dared Ben to get in the washing machine, and locked him up for a bit too. How funny he looked through the little window of the machine, how one of his mates had nearly pissed himself laughing so hard, and how Thiago had come in with no clue what was going on, having the most confused look on his face as he saw Ben stuck in the washing machine. The others laughing even harder, some of them with tears in their eyes.

The story made a smile appear on her face, but it wasn't until he showed her the video on his phone that she actually let out a small laugh. She had scooted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder to watch the video.

Somewhere along the whole ordeal he had resorted to pulling his knees up, rubbing his own shins in comfort instead of reaching out to her. It was instinctual, really, and he hadn't even noticed he was doing it, or still doing it, until she rested her hand atop of his, stopping his movement in the process.

"Sorry for scaring you. And saying no to the hug." She said sincerely after a few beats of silence, her voice still hoarse from crying, her fingers intertwining with his.

"Hey, no apologising for any of this, okay?" His voice was stern; he absolutely did not want her to feel guilty.

"Sorry." Although he couldn't see her face, and her voice still sounded strained, he knew she was smiling as she said it. Their usual teasing being back on meant she was okay. As much as she could be okay at this very moment.

"What did I just say, huh?" He joked as he put his arm around her, squeezing her tightly for a second before tracing soothing patterns on her upper arm with his indexfinger.

"You have these often?" His voice was more gentle than before, his tone serious again as he stilled his movements in anticipation of her answer.

"Yeah, sometimes. They come and go, really." She confessed.

"How come you never told me?"

"I don't know. Just never came up. S'not something you just blurt out." She shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, and he was quiet for a few beats before replying.

"I wouldn't have judged you, you know that, right?"

She hummed in response.

"Just want to make sure I know what to do to help you. How to make it more bearable for you."

"This was alright." Her voice was small, but his heart still warmed at her words.

He continued his tracing patterns on her arm then, as he contemplated what to say next.

"You want to talk about why it happened?" He could feel her tense under him as the question spilled from his mouth, and he scrunched up his nose in frustration as he cursed himself. Did he have to ask that and make her upset again?

"Not really. If that's okay?"

"Of course, love. I'm sorry. We don't have to talk about anything alright. We can do whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want my dear."

"Can we sit on the couch instead, then? My butt hurts from sitting on the floor." He let out a loud laugh at her sudden boldness. He knew they'd have another talk about it soon, once she wasn't as overwhelmed with emotions, and he hoped it wouldn't be necessary, but he wanted to learn more. Why she was stressed, what he could do to help her, both in situations like these, but also to prevent her from feeling like this at all.

"Will you cuddle with me, Mase?" She had made herself comfortable on the couch and grabbed the remote to look for something to watch on the telly, presumably her comfort series. Her voice cracked as she asked the question, and Mason smiled at that.

"I'll get you a glass of water first, 'ight?"

"And my blanket, please. It's in the right cupboard over there." She pointed to the right place as she smiled innocently at him. He rolled his eyes playfully at her request, pretending it was a mighty challenging request, and she stuck out her tongue in response. He also pretended not to hear her muttering something about spoiled footballers.

Still, it put a smile on his face. Even if she was still upset, knowing she could joke around with him, and felt comfortable enough doing so, meant that she wasn't in that bad place anymore. At least for now. He didn't want to risk her getting another panic attack while he wasn't there to help her though, so he opted to stay with her for the rest of the day and not moan about her jokes of him being a stereotypical footballer like he usually would.

It's not like he minded it all too much, anyway.

#God i'm so bad at ending these im sorry #also i didnt want to end it on too much of an angsty note i hope thats okay #also mason's love language is 1000% physical touch and you cant convince me otherwise lol #so this was hard to write but yeah i thought it was sorta fitting so i hope its okay and you enjoyed it :) #Mason mount #mason mount x reader #mason mount oneshot #mason mount fic #mason mount imagine #tw panic attack #<- just in case x

[monkeydlesbian]

# MY FAVORITE HAIKYUU BOYS AND THEIR FAVORITE HOZIER SONG (+WHY).

a/n: i’m bisexual and i have religious trauma so who else could be my favorite music artist? i love that irish bog man with everything in me and so do these characters. this was lowkey inspired by @sugardaddykenma because her hc’s are always SO FUNNY. hope u enjoy <3

warnings: NSFW THEMES!! mentions of oral sex, mentions of cum?? (it’ll make sense), religious trauma (but funny), mention of human beings rotting (what did u expect it’s hozier), me self projecting (LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING)

tetsurou kuroo ➔ like real people do: a true classic!! he loves how sappy it is because he himself is a massive sap. something about kissing your lover and becoming alive again because of it and the mutual understanding they have of each other gets him going. me too girl! he always tears up at the part “so i will not ask you why you were creeping, in some sad way, i already know” me too girl....

morisuke yaku ➔ angel of small death and the codeine scene: THE DRAMA!!!! THE POETICISM!!!! he loves it and he loves hearing the lyrics and trying to figure out what the fuck they mean. he’s obsessed with the raw power and emotion in the chorus especially the french idiom for orgasms (“small death” yeah what the fuck hozier). cherry wine is also a close second because of the lesbianism.

shouhei fukunaga ➔ in a week feat. karen cowley: IS OBSESSED with the idea of rotting in a field with the love of his life and letting nature take its course. he’s not even being ironic he just thinks it’s so cool. EVERY TIME it comes on he’s like “wouldn’t this be a fun thing to do?” and you can’t help but worry about him a little bit. loves the guitar and the descriptions of all the animals. goes feral over the notion that the lovers will be “at home” as they decay together. a man after my own heart. let’s rot together in an empty field and wait for the buzzards to collect our remains shouhei.

koutarou bokuto ➔ movement: LOVES the clapping and the way the chorus gets kinda intense compared to the rest of the song. will scream “SO MOVE ME BABEYY” and the “MOVE LIKE GREY SKIES, MOVE LIKE A BIRD OF PARADISE” because he loves the PASSION and the INTENSITY!!!! has asked you if you could make out to this song more than once. you say yes obviously because he’s cute and he listens to hozier and the song is sexy as fuck.

tooru oikawa ➔ wasteland, baby!: it’s all about the apocalypse babey!!! oikawa likes aliens right so i feel like a song about the end of the world (which aliens might bring) would be right up his alley. what is better than living through the end of the world with the person you love? than living in an abandoned and run down city but still being in your lovers arms? nothing is better than that. it’s the confronting challenges and obstacles and having someone with you through it all that has oikawa sobbing.

hajime iwaizumi ➔ nina cried power feat. mavis staples: you’re gonna listen to this song and tell me iwaizumi DOESNT work out to it?? ok. but anyways i feel like this song speaks to him and really gets him motivated. “it’s not the waking it’s the rising” holy FUCK hozier starting off strong. i also feel like the minute he figured out this song was about the civil rights movement (!!! i’m feral) he was looking up every single name that was sang and was like damn this is cool as fuck. he’s also a big work song fan because “there’s nothin’ sweeter than my baby” (i’m YEARNING for the working man)

issei matsukawa ➔ moments silence (common tongue): GOD!! FUCK!!!! he says when he hears hozier compare his cum to catholic rosary beads (yeah me too). every time mattsun hears this song he gets horny because all he thinks about is oral sex. the snapping, the guitar, the chorus in the back, it all makes him go BATSHIT. hears “a moment's silence when my baby puts the mouth on me” and is immediately laying between ur legs. it’s about the intimacy. the trust. the reclaiming of sexual acts as a spiritual connection between two people. he eats that shit UP!!!

takahiro hanamaki ➔ take me to church: again another true classic!!! except this time ur sad, probably a little gay, and religiously traumatized. me too girl! makki has a love-hate relationship with this song because he loves the idea of heaven being in the bedroom with your lover but then gets sad when hozier says “we were born sick, you heard them [the church] say it”. besides for the symbolism and religious trauma he fucks HEAVILY with how deep hozier’s voice gets and the PIANO????? incredible.

#every day i listen to hozier and die each time. #kuroo x reader #yaku x reader #fukunaga x reader #bokuto x reader #oikawa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #matsukawa x reader #hanamaki x reader #tetsurou kuroo x reader #morisuke yaku x reader #shouhei fukunaga x reader #koutarou bokuto x reader #tooru oikawa x reader #hajime iwaizumi x reader #issei matsukawa x reader #takahiro hanamaki x reader #haikyuu x reader #hozier #haikyuu imagine #hq x reader #hq imagine

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

:)

wiyllt...ur blog has to be my favorite. when asked why, many reasons come to mind, such as ur humor, its my kind of humor. and i am sure many people can agree that u write great smut pieces. but it was ur latest fic in ur ’heart + head au’, when it finally clicked.

i see myself in ur works. its like all the words and feelings i find impossible to articulate, are found in the words u write. its raw and succint, never too wordy. and tbh i cried. i was in the middle of a family function trying to keep my tears at bay.

after reading ur discussion about ’requiem for a dream’ and how ’a-dick-ted’ was inspired by it... literally no words, just wow. it might be the intj in me, but i enjoy media that explore humanity in that way. the type of shit that brands itself onto ur heart to the point it hurts as they explore ’to what extent certain things affect people.’

anyways, im rambling and idek what im saying anymore. i’ll have to reread that fic of urs and give the book you discussed a read.

Me: Yoongi! Yoongi, someone said I was funny! Am I funny?

Yoongi: Yeah.

Me: Really?

Yoongi: Uh huh. No more noise, please.

Me; :D!!!

YoongI: -ㅅ-

...

anyway

It's so interesting that you say that, because I actually say the same thing about Min Yoongi. Even though we don't speak the same language (most of the time, I heard he's taking English lessons though, sigh, does this mean I should take Korean lessons too? XD), whenever I read translations of his lyrics, I always think that he finds the words to feelings that I can't seem to place. It seems so simple in his voice. I can feel it in his tone / delivery, even if I don't understand the exact words.

idk if that's misplaced hope in that someone out there understands me on levels that most others don't, but I also trust my instincts and besides

he has a great smile

:D

There are probably other people out there who think this, but, to me, he was the first person (not even celebrity / famous person, just person in general) that never implied that you needed to "get better", the first person that said that the seasons will inevitably come and go, but you can learn to deal with it better and better each time. A lot of people say we need to talk about things (which is true), yet it is always in the context of "you need to get better" or "life will be better in the future". I believe that puts unnecessary pressure on people and you end up waiting for the sun to come - reality is, you need to open the curtains and your eyes in order to see the light at all.

Life gets better, but only if you choose to see it.

"Requiem for a Dream" is a much darker, less sex-filled-fun version of the 'a-dick-ted' au XD It is worth the read if you're willing to stomach the unpleasantries though. As much as life should be fun, I find a lot of benefit in reflection as well. Harry Marion, Tyrone - it's easy to condemn them because they are addicted to heroin, but Sara... Sara just wants a very small thing, harmless, right, fifteen minutes of fame, nothing crazy, and yet...

When you become so fixated on one very small idea, it can over time turn into a giant monster that will eat you up.

You can become addicted to an idea as strongly as you become addicted to hard drugs. Detoxing can be a painful bitch. Both positive and negative ideas. That's why utopias always end up fucked up, right? Utopias always become dystopias over time.

I would rather not live in delulu land

XD