#i hold this series so close to me man 😭

[norrisleclercf1]

Just The Beginning

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Words: 2.2K

Requested: Yes / No

Request: Hey! First of all i love your writing like every time you post I go WILD anyways.. I’ve been thinking a lot about kind of a prequel to the mini lando series in which Lando and reader have been trying for a baby but haven’t been successful and as they loose hope, reader gets sick so lando goes to the pharmacy to get reader some medicine and when reader wakes up he calls him like “maybe bring a pregnancy test too” and lando is like “omgomgomg it can’t be” and he gets like super excited and anxious and everyone at the pharmacy is like “first time?” Anyways, turns out reader is finally pregnant with Aiden?!! 😭😭😭

Rating: R because of difficult topics

Warnings: Difficultly getting pregnant, losing hope, feeling of failure and not good enough, relationship difficulties, ANGST, fluff, I'm sure there are more warnings, please read this carefully if you have trouble reading this topic

Synopsis: Lando and you have wanted to be parents for the longest time, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be

Mini Lando / New Addition / Mini Lando Masterlist

"Lando, don't get your hopes up." Hands placed over your mouth as you watch the timer on your phone. Lando nods, but you can't miss the excited smile he tries so hard to hide. 

"I won't. I promise." You refuse to look at the white and blue test on the counter before you two. Three years married, Carlos and Charles having children, and the two of you getting baby fever a year ago have two of you trying to have your own children. "Lando, stop." You snap, placing your hand on your husband's bouncing leg. 

"Sorry." He stops, rubbing sweaty hands on his jeans. He knew you didn't mean to snap, but the tension was intense after multiple negative tests and tears. The shrieking beeps of the timer have you jumping, head dropping as you can't look at the test. "Want me to look?" Lando's voice held no excitement. 

"Please." Standing, he grabs the test. How was he to tell you it was negative again? It was already a thought in your mind that you might have problems. "It's negative, isn't it?" Lando turns, your red eyes boring into his sad ones. "That's okay, though. We can try again." He places the test down, reaching for you. 

You stand, leaving the bathroom, heading to your office, and slamming the door. Lando flinches, hearing the soft echoes of your cries. He wanted nothing more than to hold you, yet for the past three months, you shoved him away every time that negative popped up. Sliding down the counter, he buries his head in his arms, his own tears slipping down his face. 

Wiping his face, he sniffles and stands, heading to your office. "Y/n, please open the door." He begs, just wanting to hold his wife. "Go away!" You scream something thumping on the door. "Okay." Lando whimpers out. "I'm going to.....I'm going for a driver. I'll be back." You let out a chest-rattling gasp hearing the soft thuds of him walking away. 

You don't know when you stopped crying. The feeling of being hollow was all you could make out. Lando was still not back; you wouldn't blame him if he never returned. He wanted to be a father so badly, and while you could give him everything, you couldn't give him this. Lando wanted to talk to you, but you couldn't voice those dark thoughts you kept having. 

How could you tell the love of your life you felt like a failure? The man who loved you more than driving that he should leave you and find someone else who could give him children. The terror that gripped you at the possibility of Lando doing that left you sick. The empty promises you two whispered to one another, the baby names, the pictures of the future that were slowly slipping away. 

The mechanical whirl of the garage door opening gets you moving. Heading back to the bathroom, you throw the test away just for it to join the rest of those false hopes and dreams. The garage door opens and closes with keys jingling as you clean your face. You plaster a look of calm. You mastered the look and act of you're fine. 

"Baby?" Lando's voice carries through the house, drawing you out of the bedroom. "I'm here." A loud sigh as he rounds the corner. Those doubts rile up hearing that sigh. Was he sighing because you're still here? Because he came home? Regretting marrying you? "Hi." His soft smile greets you. 

"Sorry about earlier. I need to start dinner." Lando watches as you sidestep him, heading straight for the kitchen. "Forget dinner. Let's go out, get some fresh air." Closing your eyes, you try hard to clamp down on the anxiety that creeps into your bones. "No, I want to stay home. I'm tired." Lando nods, swallowing hard as he walks away. He always walked away, never wanting to fight with you anymore. 

He was giving up. Lando would leave you soon, and you don't blame him. You failed. 

Dinner and the house were silent for the rest of the day. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"She refuses to talk to me." Carlos hums, sipping his beer as the two watch Y/n play with little Santiago. "Have you tried therapy?" Lando bristles, as mentioned. "If she would talk to me, Carlos, I would mention it." He hisses, tearing the label off his beer. 

"Don't get snappy with me. You two are made for one another, and this is just a....rough patch." Carlos smiles, waving at his little boy, who Y/n bounces, talking to Carlos's wife. "This isn't a rough patch Carlos. She wants children, and I....I can't even give her them." Carlos's smile fades, turning to look at his dearest friend. 

"Have you two ever been to a fertility clinic? Tested? Anything?" Carlos knew what Lando was like. If anything went wrong, he put all the blame on him. It doesn't matter if it's an outside force. It was automatically his fault. "No, I'm terrified to mention it. What if she feels like, I'm placing all the blame on her?" Lando pulls his eyes away from you, and you look so damn happy. 

For the first time in 4 months since that day in the bathroom, you looked like a shell of yourself. Holding Santi, you look alive. "Lando, you two clearly haven't been talking. Talk to your wife, and I know it's terrifying. But, what if you never talk, and this breaks the both of you?" Lando shakes his head no. "No, no, that's not possible." Carlos sighs, patting him on his shoulder.  

"Did you have a good talk with Carlos?" Lando jumps, hearing your voice as he drives the two of you home. "What? Oh, yeah, it was fine." Lando shrugs, and you sigh. Carlos's wife had told you to start small and that it was best to start a conversation with your husband. "What'd you talk about?" Lando cringes at the question, not wanting to talk about it. 

"Nothing, just the upcoming season and all that." You nod your head, anger bubbling in your chest at him, avoiding the conversation. "Nothing? Did you talk about nothing for the entire day?" Your husband's eyes slide over to you, the anger evident in your voice. "No, we didn't talk about nothing the entire day. But you wouldn't know that as you refuse to talk to me." Lando snaps, and you blink, shocked at his raised tone. 

"Refuse to talk to you? I'm always talking to you, Lando! You're the one who refuses to even look at me!" Lando adjusts himself in his seat, trying to calm himself down. "Really? Really? Y/n, the last time we had a real fucking conversation was the morning you took that test. After that day, you refuse to let me touch you. I can't even approach the topic without you shutting down. My wife is gone and refuses to let me help, much less know the problem." Lando slams the car into park as you stare at him, shocked at this anger. 

"I'm furious with you, dammit!" Lando throws the door open, storming to the front door as you follow, watching him reach a specific door. "Don't you dare go in there!" You scream, trying to stop him, but he throws you off. "Don't!" He throws it open as you stare at the empty room, with only one object in the middle. 

"You can't even walk in here. This is our baby's room, and you keep that door closed. Why? What is it that you can't talk to me anymore? I'm your husband, and we've......do you not love me anymore? We haven't had sex in months; tell me that you blame me. I know you think it's my fault. Say it!" He screams at you pounding his chest as you stare at one another, crying. 

"Blame you? Blame you!" You laugh, stepping foot into the nursery Lando built and decorated himself for the first time. "You want to be a father so damn bad! Do you know what it's like to hold Santi or Anthoine when we're with our friends? To see that look in your eyes and then the one of disappointment when you look at me?" As you step deeper into the room, you wipe the tears from your eyes. "Every damn test, that look grows with more hatred, and I know you hate me. I'm the wife that is failing at giving you children, Lando. I'm the reason why!" You laugh. 

"I don't blame you, Lando." Spitting out the words, you stand inches from one another. "I'm scared I'll wake up one day, and you're gone. You left me because I'm a failure as a wife for not giving you children. I'm terrified that....that." Lando stops you, hugging you tightly as you collapse in his arms. "I don't think you're a failure. You are the strongest person I know, Y/n." Hearing those words, you gasp out loud as you cry loudly. 

"I love you, and we will have children. One day. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but we will have children one day." 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

One Year Later

Therapy was going well for the two of you, and you could finally talk about everything. Lando how he felt he was to blame and not good enough. You, how you felt like a failure and that Lando would leave you. Everyone could see the change in your relationship, how you both looked lighter and happier. Your therapist suggested taking a break from trying to have children, and you did. 

The two of you talked of the pressure it put on both of you, that it was a weight on your chest. Lando agreed that waiting would be best, and if the two try again, talk to a specialist first. Traveling around the world and just enjoying yourselves as well was communicating was important now. The nursery door was kept shut, but you added small things here and there. 

Except right now, you've been bedridden with the flu. Everything smelled horrible, and the food tasted gross. You've been throwing up and just wanting Lando next to you the only time you've felt a semblance of being your healthy self. "I'm going to the pharmacy. Be back." Lando whispers as you wave him off. You can't do another day like this. 

Laying in bed, you can only think everything over for the past month. Month. Maybe it was your period, you've never really had to go through this often, but it did happen. Except..... 

Eye flying open, you scramble to grab your phone calling Lando. "What, is something wrong?" Lando's panicked voice fills your ear after the 2nd ring. "No, um...you remember last month when we got a little careless?" Lando chuckles, the memories very clear as he thinks about you and where he- "Wait? Do you think?" Lando's eyes widen as he tries so hard not to get excited. 

"I...I don't know. Pick one up. Please." Lando agrees as a soft ding of the pharmacy lets the workers know someone has walked in. "Hi, can I get some anti-nausea meds and a pregnancy test?" He can't help the giant smile that fills his face. The lovely older lady behind the counter smiles at him. "First time, sweetie?" He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Kinda? I mean....this is." She raises her hand, stopping his stutters. "I understand; I hope it all goes well." Lando slaps the money on the counter and rushes off with a wave. Running home, no need to announce he's back as you're there grabbing the test. 

And here you are again, sitting on the same tub ledge. Watching the seconds tick by, the same hope and feelings of doubt cover you both. Neither of you says anything, both jumping out of your skin at the shrieking timer. 

Reaching for the test, Lando snaps your hand down. Holding it. "Wait, just wait." He breathes, staring at you. "Whatever it says, it doesn't matter. It's not my fault nor yours. We're not failures, and we will have children one day. It doesn't matter how or when, but we will love them no matter what. And I'll love you until I die. Okay?" You nod, swallowing as you stand, grabbing the test. 

Your hands start to shake as tears begin to fall; Lando sighs. "Hey, it's okay. We should make that appointment, huh?" He laughs, trying to lighten the mood as you shake your head no. "It's positive." You whisper, his head snapping up, not believing your words. "What?" Standing up, you laugh, showing him the test. "It's positive." You repeat as he covers your shaking hand, trying to read the test. 

"It's positive? It's positive!" He laughs, scooping you up as he spins you around. The two of you laugh and cry. "We're going to be parents," Lando whispers, holding you close. "We're going to be parents." You repeat, neither of you believing this; Lando giggling. "Aiden." You pull back, confused why he'd say that name. "Aiden, if it's a boy, Odette if it's a girl." You smile, kissing your husband gently. 

"It's perfect." He nods, hand lying on your stomach. "I will love you for the rest of my life. You have no idea how loved you already are." 

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 fandom #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x y/n #formula one #f1 series #f1 angst #f1 fluff #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris fanfic #lando norris angst #lando norris fluff #lando angst #lando norris #lando x reader #lando fluff #dad!f1 #mini lando series

[cordeliawhohung]

okay HI IM SUCH A BIG FOR THE SOFT SPOT SERIES I LOVE READING IT SO MUCH.

Just wanted to pop in and request a little comfort with ghost? I'm mid-way my midterms right now and I haven't slept properly for nearly 4 days. I need that man to either fuck me to sleep or cuddle me.

Again, love your work. Love everything you write, really. You're an amazing author and thank you for sharing your skill to the world LIKE YOU SHOULD 💅💅💅

hi hun! thank you so much!!! i'm glad that you're enjoying it a;lsdkfj like i've said before soft spot is my babyyyyy and youch! sorry to hear about finals! that's such a pain, and i apologize that this has taken a moment to get back to you. but now that you mention it, i don't think i've ever written anything just... fluffy for Simon. so i think i'll write you a short and sweet fluff bit that will hopefully cheer you up! thank you so much you are such a sweetheart 😭

warnings: none! super fluffy! sleeping issues and Simon thinks cuddles is the best medicine (:

masterlist (:

Sleep wasn't coming easy for you. A majority of your nights had been spent getting minimal sleep before being startled awake by your own thoughts. It was difficult to pin down the exact reason. You weren't stressed, or at least you liked to pretend that you weren't, and there were no strange dreams or nightmares that ailed you. Just your own thoughts, the constant feeling that you had to be doing something, anything, otherwise you were wasting time.

You stood in the kitchen with a cup in hand as you ran the sink. Everything always seemed louder at night. Your footsteps, the water pouring from the spout, even your own heart beating in your chest. The very atoms buzzing in every object around you even seemed too loud.

"It's late."

Simon's voice was deep and groggy as he spoke from the doorway, and it was piercing enough so that it cut through the noise of everything else in existence. His hair stuck up at odd angles, and you could see a faint indented line across his cheek. He must have been sleeping pretty well, which was the whole reason you left the bed in the first place; to not wake him with your restless tossing and turning.

"Baby, go back to bed," you said softly. You eyed the pale green neon of the microwave clock that read 2:04 in the morning before taking a quick sip of water.

"You've got work in the mornin'," he said simply before stepping further into the kitchen.

You sighed before setting the cup next to the sink, and you leaned against the counter. There was little doubt in your mind that Simon was just as tired of your restlessness as you were. Constantly slipping out of bed, wandering around the flat in an attempt to get the buzzing in your mind to stop long enough to hopefully fall back asleep again.

Simon's hands brushed against your hips where he pulled you closer, and you nearly melted into him. Hands resting against his chest, you let him pull you close. You felt the warm breath from his nose tickle your hairline as he pressed a soft kiss against your forehead.

"Come back to bed," he mumbled into the crown of your head. It wasn't a request, but wasn't a demand, either. It was something that landed somewhere in the middle.

Either way, you listened. Even though you could feel the static of the world rattle your bones and shake your mind, you trotted off after Simon as he led you back into the bedroom. Your side of the bed was cold when you crawled back in, and you wondered just how long you had been standing in the kitchen for.

Simon liked his space when he slept. Something about you being too wiggly, but you didn't mind. You were used to laying your head on your pillow and holding the blankets tight under your chin to lull yourself to sleep. So when you felt Simon's hand on your shoulder, rolling you over to face him, you were a little surprised.

"Come here," he prompted in his sleepy daze.

And so you did. His arm snaked around your torso as he pulled you close, and instead of a pillow underneath your head it was his chest. His other arm rested on his torso so that he could reach and rub gentle circles along your back. One last time, he leaned forward to press a quick kiss to your head before laying down.

He didn't say anything else, and neither did you. The only thing you did was lay there, cheek pressed against his chest while your arm held him around his waist. Each beat of his heart reverberated brilliantly within his chest, and every breath he took sounded long and deliberate.

Instead of focusing on the noise of the universe around you, you found your mind enamored by Simon instead. How the subtle rise and fall of his chest rocked your body with his. How you could hear the blood gushing through his body, feel the fibers of his body creak with the weight. His warmth bled into you, coaxing your muscles to soften. You focused on trying to match your breathing with his, and you wondered if you did it long enough, if your hearts would start to sync; if your blood would pulse at the same speed; if your bodies would begin to meld.

Eventually his hand stilled, and his breathing slowed even more, and you continued to match his pace. Soon, you were nothing more than just two souls occupying the same space; atoms weaved together; lovers intertwined. Slumber settled over you before your mind even had the chance to process it, but even in your sleep your body knew you were right where you belonged.

sorry if this is too short! i'm trying to practice not writing 6k words for every single thing i put on this site a;lksdjf either way i hope it was enjoyable, and i hope you're able to get some good rest soon, anon <3

#core responds #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader

[kingofbodyrolls]

BTS fic recs: October 2023

I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell, so minors dni.❗ 

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fic’s post to let them know that they're appreciated 💜 And if you want more fic recs you can follow me to stay updated 🙂

BTS fic rec index → May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep (jjk)(knj) | 💜 (pjm) | Nov (*) | Dec (ksj)(kth) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, personal favorites = 💯.

Namjoon

⭐Drunk in Love by @joon4eva // knj x f.reader // bf2l // 🥰

📝 You and whiskey are never a good combination. or: you've been in love with your best friend for years and you might tell him about it while drunk.

🗨️ Just really cute and fluffy 🥰 🥺💖

Seokjin

⭐Sleepover by @peachypinkygloss // ksj x f.reader x pjm // bestfriends!au, threesome // 🥵

📝 You spend a night with your two best friends at their dorm room. You should have known that they wanted to do more than just watching movies.

🗨️ Omg this was so good, the smut 😘🥵

Yoongi

⭐Oh, darling! [series; completed] 💯 by @yoongiofmine // myg x f.reader // university!au, non idol au, professor!yoongi, student!reader // 🥰🌩️🥵

📝 Starting your second semester at one of South Korea’s most prestigious universities should be stressful enough. Between juggling classes, good grades and a social life, your plate was full. Hoping to spice up your academic career, you thought it was a good idea to enroll as an assistant for your literature professor, whom you’ve held a very secret and very forbidden crush on for the past several months. What will happen now that you’re forced to work closely together? And what if your crush isn’t as one sided as you thought? 

🗨️ Holy fucking shit 🥵🫣😳 This is just one of my favorites series, EVER 💜 This is in my top 10, no questions! ✨

⭐Mami by @kithtaehyung // myg x f.reader, knj x f.reader, jhs x f.reader // roommates!au, battle rap!au // 🥵

📝 You somehow have a conversation with Yoongi, and you tell your roommate about a date date.

🗨️ So, so good 🥵 really looking forward to more of this series 🥵 🫣

⭐Damn the Charcuterie Board 💯 by @bratkook // myg x f.reader x pjm // bestfriends!au, threesome // 🥵

📝 This doesn’t have a summary, so here goes mine; reader has has a sling of unfulfilling sexual times, and in the company of her best friends, she thinks about a video she watched recently. Could they give her what she needed?

🗨️ This has been on my reading list for so freaking long! 🥹 And now I finally got to read it, and damn, it is one of the best, filthiest fics out there. So, so good! 💯🥵

⭐Cotton Candy Computer (1) [series; discontinued] 💯 by @softyoongiionly // myg x f.reader // hacker!au // 🥵🌩️

📝 Min Yoongi is the top hacker in the world. He has put away countless other cyber criminals all whilst evading detection by virtually everyone he has ever crossed paths with, including the government. The diabolical super hacker that came close to tracking him down is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, all thanks to Yoongi’s handiwork. So what happens when the sentence is shortened unexpectedly? What happens when the biggest threat to public safety is roaming the streets again, determined to get revenge on the man who put him away? What happens when the worlds most infamous hacker just so happens to manage your local Mikrokosmic Electronics? A terabyte of trouble.

🗨️ Shit this was incredibly good!!!! Why isn’t it finished? 😭 I don’t usually read unfinished or discontinued series, but the summary really had me and I just had to read it – and now I’m hooked and I want more of this sexy hot hacker Yoongi! 😭 The story was also just so well written and the chemistry between reader and oc was so fucking perfect, and don’t get me started on the smut, like ugh 🥵 Gosh, I’m so sad there aren’t more parts to it (like the author planned four parts). But it’s so so good, and the cliffhanger isn’t horrible (in terms of wanting to read the next chapter). It can definitely be read as a one shot, I just really, really wished there was more, because, fuck, it was perfect! 💯💜✨

⭐Three Tangerines [series; ongoing] 💯 by @kithtaehyung // myg x f.reader // fuckboy!yoongi, brother’s best friend!au, age gap!au // 🌩️🥵

📝 Throughout high school, you sometimes caught glimpses of your brother’s older friends: some of them were sweet, some of them were smart. but the one closest to him? that guy was a total f*ckboy from day one. after a foray of horrid relationships spanning years - ending with one that broke up with you for an alarming reason - you needed advice on what the hell you were doing wrong… and this wasn’t a conversation for anyone sweet or smart.

🗨️ Holy fucking shit, I know I’m late to the party (I see it’s still going too! 🎉), but goddamn that was one of the best fanfictions I’ve ever read 💖😭 I am deeply in love with 3tan – I read all that was available in a few days and nights, because I was so freaking hooked (and still am! No, I’m not dreaming about 3tan Yoongi 😇). Damn. I have been missing out, alright! Shit, the writing; excellent, characters; excellent, world building/story progression; excellent - like perfection 👏🏾 💎 💯 If you have not read it yet, do so now, like right now! I still can’t stop thinking about this and I’m already thinking about rereading it because it’s just that good. It’s definitely in my top 10 or even in my top 5 of my favorites! 🥇✨

Hoseok

⭐Helping Hands by @m-yg93 // jhs x f.reader // f2l // 🥵

📝 Between your boyfriend getting into bed with another girl and finals taking all your time a cold rift has emerged between the usually warm movie nights with your best friend. Thankfully exams are over and Hoseok is back on your couch where he belongs. When some shit talking gets a little too close to home and Hoseok finds out you’ve never even had an orgasm he decides to take things into his own hands, and yours. 

🗨️ This was so hot, like what 😳🥵 also a bit funny, but mostly smutty 🤭

Jimin

⭐Desperate by @ressjeon // pjm x f.reader // model!Jimin, pa!reader // 🥵

📝 Being Jimin's assistant made you immune from his flirty tactics, but somehow you find it hard to resist him when he unusually becomes desperate.

🗨️ Omg this was so hot, I don’t have much to say about it, expect that 😳🥵

⭐Only You by @jiminniethemarshmallow // pjm x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 After another woman kisses Jimin, he tries to convince you that he’s faithful with make-up sex.

🗨️ This was both hot and sweet! I really like how Jimin was doing his best to reassure OC, even though he did nothing wrong 🥹🥰

⭐Flirt 💯 by @chateautae // pjm x f.reader // college!au, sexual tension, pwp // 🥵

📝 Park jimin is a notorious flirt, but so are you. when you both meet at a party after weeks of back and forth, it’s a matter of time before somebody gives in.

🗨️ Okay, this is insanely hot - the smut 🤌🏾😘 a really fucking great pwp with a good amount of sexual tension and dirty talk 💜💯

⭐Vanilla 💯 by @aexthetic-suga // pjm x f.reader // pwp, dominate!Jimin, idol!au // 🥵

📝 Jimin is a busy guy. The idol life is not an easy one. With you missing him for three months due to his schedule, all you wanted was to spend his first night back with him. When that doesn’t go to plan, you end up spewing shit about your sex life with Jimin – or better yet, your lack of one.

🗨️ Excuse me, Park Jimin 🥵😳 this was incredible hot! And that gif! 🥵 A really great pwp 💯🌸

Taehyung

⭐One of the Boys 💯 by @littlemisskookie // kth x f.reader // childhoodfriends!au, slice of life, bestfriends!au, neighbors!au, high school!au // 🌩️🥵🥰

📝 All your life you wanted only one thing- for Kim Taehyung to like you. You did everything you could to make this happen, from picking up his hobbies and rejecting anything feminine. But who do you start to become when you stop trying to impress him?

🗨️ Woaw! This was so incredibly good, it’s almost hard to describe, but I’ll try: it does a brilliant job at setting the story up, following oc and Taehyung since childhood, and how their friendship develops over time (and their feelings). It’s really cute and funny and with great smut at the end. Overall a brilliantly good read 💯

⭐Baby, Oh Baby 💯 by @jungkookiebus // kth x f.reader // established relationship, noneidol!au // 🥵🥰

📝 Taehyung and you have been trying for months to get pregnant; you’ve tried crazy diets, stuck to your calendar, got him to diet, but it’s all been for nothing. No matter how healthy your doctor says you are, you can’t conceive. Taehyung tries everything within his power to show you that everything is going to be okay and for one night he makes you forget all about the calendars, schedules, and all the crazy things that came with you trying to have a baby. 

🗨️ This was just really cute and loving 🥹The smut was also just ❤️‍🔥💯

⭐Baby Maker by @kookslastbutton // kth x f.reader // marriage!au // 🥵🥰

📝 You're pissed at your husband for being late to your weekly baby-making sessions.

🗨️ Aish, the smut in this 🔥Also all the dirty talk really had me going 🥵

⭐Til Death Do Us Part by @kookslastbutton // kth x f.reader // marriage!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 Thinking it be a romantic gesture, Taehyung tosses your GPS out the car window while honeymooning in Italy. Too bad it gets you both stranded in the middle of nowhere though. What the hell are you gonna do now?

🗨️ This was just so funny to me 😂 Like Tae really threw the GPS out and was like ‘fuck it’! Pleasant and blushing read 🤭

Jungkook

⭐When the End Comes [series; completed] 💯 by @oddinary4bts // jjk x f.reader // breakup!au, slice of life!au, photographer!Jungkook x lawyer!reader // 🌩️🌩️🌩️🥵

📝 Seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook?

🗨️ This is a sequel to ‘The Forgotten Spaces’, which was just *chef’s kiss* 😘 The series is completed now – and afsfdfdsfg it was just so damn beautiful and the ending!!! It was definitely worth all my tears 🥹💜

⭐Love à Trois [series; ongoing] by @letjungcoook7 // jjk x f.reader x pjm // slice of life, f2l+s2l, roommates!au, college!au, love triangle // 🥵🌩️

📝 You and Jimin secretly have feelings for each other, you both realize your dream of studying at the same college and sharing an apartment, but when financial issues start to arise, you have to seek a third roommate. and guess who fate sends your way? Jungkook, the same guy who took your virginity back in high school.

🗨️ This is really good! There’s two chapters up already (I still need to read ch 2) and the first was so good. It’s so interesting to see the love triangle unfold. Really enjoyed this 🌸

⭐Burnout (1)(2)(3) [series; ongoing] by @aikastales // jjk x f.reader // college!au, fake dating!au // 🌩️🌩️🌩️😈

📝 After his ex-girlfriend broke up with him, jungkook enlists your help by asking and paying you to fake date him. accepting the offer, you get more than what you bargained for when jungkook starts showing his true intentions.

🗨️ This series was my first time reading yandere – and I am hooked, it’s so intriguing and disturbing at the same time, I really can’t wait to see how this story unfolds. It’s really, really good 👏

⭐Fragment of the Past (1)(2) [series; ongoing] by @ctrlsht // jjk x f.reader // patient!jk x psychiatrist!reader // 🌩️😈👻

📝 You are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and author. You start treating Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.

🗨️ Another first for me, with the thriller vibes and damn it delivers on that! It’s really, really good 👏 Pacing is really good and how we see more and more of Jungkook’s disturbing traits is just brilliant ✨ 

⭐Mentally Physically Weak by @arainbowofchaos // jjk x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵

📝 Jungkook is waiting for you outside your workplace, a cigarette in his mouth, and you can hardly believe your luck. Above all, you're acutely aware of how weak you are for him, and you want to savor this moment as if it were the last.

🗨️ Almost equally smutty as it is sweet 🥺🥰 a really good read, and I really loved how JK was portrayed and how sweet he was with the OC 💖

Wow, October went really fast! I have now moved and I’ve gotten more time to both read and write again. And now it’s already November (also my birth month 🥳 and I might or might not have a surprise for you on my birthday!).

Borahae 💜

#bts fic recs #bts fic #bts fics #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts scenarios #jungkook x reader #yoongi smut #Yoongi x reader #bts smut #namjoon x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts x reader smut #bts x you #bts x y/n #bts x oc #jimin x reader #pjm x reader #seokjin x reader #hoseok x reader #jjk x reader #knj x reader #jhs x reader #ksj x reader #bangtan x reader #bangtan smut #bangtan fanfic

[mrzombielover]

- slow ride ch2

feat. sinner!adam x fem!hotel worker!reader

previous chapter || series masterlist || next chapter (wip)

warnings: NSFW, more substance use in this one, a bit of angst?, readers emotional issues

a/n: i feel like my writing sucks esp in this chapter cause im sorta rusty and sick so i cant even tell if this makes sense but oh well😭😭😭 anyway pls send me hazbin reqs!!!!! having the worst brainrot lately esp for this horrible man!!!

wc: 2.9k

“I'm not breaking up inside / I'm much to proud to moan / Baby, please come home”

Oh my god. What did I just do? Why did I do this?

You turn your head to look at Adam where he’s lying on the other side of the bed, and find his expression closely mirrors your own. Pure disbelief is written on his features, and you grimace, turning to look back at the ceiling.

After a moment, you sit up, grabbing your box of cigarettes and a lighter off your bedside table. Once lit, you swing your feet off the bed to reach for shirt and now ripped panties, standing up when you’re partially dressed. You hear Adam sit up behind you.

“Soo, that was… uhhh…” He trails off, mouth hanging open as he thinks of what to say.

“Let’s… not speak about this again,” You say carefully as you turn back to face him.

“Yeah. yeah, i’m good with that,” He says quickly, finding his robes off the floor. You’re surprised he doesn’t say anything about the smoke.

You cross the room to get your pants off the floor, pulling them up as Adam grabs his jacket. You pull up your fly, and look up to see Adam’s staring at you with an expression you can’t read. His eyes flicker to your lips, and he starts to lean closer.

“Kiss me and i’ll cut your fuckin’ tongue out,” you say as you turn your head away.

“Oookay then. I’ll, uh, see ya,” For once, he has no snarky comment or crude joke to make as he straightens up and leaves your room.

After that, you told yourself never again. It happened once, it’s out of your system, it’s done. A one time thing.

But then it happens a second time.

“It’s a disgusting habit! All your clothes, your whole room fuckin’ reeks!”

“Are you tryin’ to get me to loose my temper here? ‘Cause i’m about to shove you out that fucking window!”

“And look how angry you get, you fucking fiend, it’s been like 2 hours!”

“Why don’t you mind your goddamn business?”

You raise an arm to hit him, but he catches your elbow, twisting you around so your back is to him and he can hold you in place. You struggle to break from his grip, when suddenly-

“Oh my god,” You deadpan, but your voice doesn’t come out as disgusted as you expected at the feeling of something hard poking into your lower back.

“Okay, this is not my fault-“ Adam says quickly.

“You- fucking perv!” You spit, but your words hold no weight when he flips you again and lifts you up, placing you on the counter and you make no effort to struggle. You spread your legs so he can slot between them as items pushed out of the way cascade off the counter, falling to the floor with loud crashes.

You then told yourself that would be the last time. But not even you fully believed yourself. And once it happened a third, fourth, and fifth time, you just accepted this is something that happens now. You’re not proud of it- some of you hates yourself, but another part of you finds a a sick, primal pleasure in it. It’s the only guaranteed way for you to get him to shut up, if only for a few minutes. The fight for dominance- fuuck you’re messed up, huh?

Thinking of the humiliation you’d feel if any of the others found out- oh god, how could you look Alastor in the eyes again- you change absolutely nothing about your behavior around Adam. On the surface, nothing has changed at all. You two still bicker and argue all the time, if anything, worse than ever. Yet the other members can feel something’s up, that something changed. Adam’s insults feel more hollow. He always said shit just to rile you up, but there was usually an undertone of truth to his words. Not anymore- it’s all stupid shit that everybody can tell he doesn’t care about. Nobody says anything about it, though, until-

“What the fuck are you smilin’ for?” Angel’s voice makes Adam jump as he enters, sitting down on the couch beside him.

“What-? I wasn’t smiling,” Adam quickly denies. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh my god- are you’re gettin’ laid?” Angel grins, sitting up. The look on Adam’s face tells him everything, and he can’t help but laugh. “Oh, you so are! No wonder you’ve been in such a good mood lately,”

“Uh, duh i’m getting laid, I’m Adam, I’m the origin-“

“Yeah, yeah, original dick. But that’s not what I mean and you know it.” Angel grins widely, and Adam can feel his face heating up. Oh god- why is he blushing? Since when does he care? He pushes the thought from his head.

“…You don’t know her,” Adam decides to say, crossing his arms and turning back to face the TV, hoping Angel will just leave it at that.

“Try me,” Angel leans closer, looking intently at Adam’s expression. When Adam says nothing, Angel laughs again.

“Oh my god I so know her,”

Adam grits his teeth but says nothing as Angel laughs.

“Okay, fine, don’t tell me who you’re havin’ weird secret kinky sex with,” Angel shrugs, turning to face the TV. “I’ll find out eventually,”

That makes Adam sweat.

You can’t help but laugh, nearly spitting whisky everywhere while Husk chuckles to himself. Sure, it’s a bit trite, ranting to the bartender about your shitty day while he pours you a stiff drink, but Husk could always make you laugh about it, and call you out on your bullshit if needed. He was real, and you liked that about him. Plus, it beat drinking alone when none of your other friends wanted to party on a Wednesday.

“-and not a crazy bitch like I’m a crazy bitch, crazy like she lit her mom’s hair on fir-“

“Husk holy shit!”

Both of you look in the direction of Angel Dust’s voice as he runs from the hallway towards you both. He leans over the bar, eager to share whatever news he had.

“Adam’s fucking somebody- somebody here!”

You choke on your whisky, spitting it back into the glass. Angel and Husk both look at you with a raised brow.

“My bad,” is all you say. you can’t think of anything else that would play it off, so you just quietly wipe off your face while Angel recounts his encounter with Adam. You feel an eye twitch- you could strangle that prick for being so conspicuous.

“You’re quiet, Y/N,” Angel says in a teasing tone.

“I just could not care less if I tried,” You say back, firmly but with a shrug, and you hope it suffices as an acceptable explanation, and that you come off as your usual apathetic self. You finish your whisky, and luckily, Angel doesn’t give you any more shit. Slightly unsettled by that interaction, you avoid Adam for the next few days.

Late one evening, everybody’s gone up to their rooms and the hotel is quiet. You’ve already eaten, smoked, brushed your teeth and put on pajamas, but there’s nothing good on TV and you’re bored and high and just want a task to keep busy. So you wander aimlessly into the kitchen and find yourself doing the dishes that Charlie was too stressed out to do earlier.

As you scrub brown charred bits off a pan, you find your stupid weed-addled brain wandering to Adam. You haven’t fought with him in a while, mostly because you’d run away before he had the chance to start, but still. It feels weird, being so calm lately. No wonder you’re bored. It’s the way things used to be at the hotel, before he arrived. You guess you hadn’t realized how used to his presence you’ve gotten. Gross. You cringe at the thought.

Luckily, your phone starts to vibrate on the counter, giving you a distraction. You pick up and hold it between your ear and shoulder without looking at the caller ID.

“Yo, where are you right now?”

Of course.

“Adam? What the fuck, when did you get a phone?” You snort. When you realize you’re smiling you clear your throat and force your face to relax.

“Whatever. Can you come upstairs?”

You pause. He sounds slightly odd.

“What, like, to your room?” You raise an eyebrow. “Why?”

“ohmyfuckinggod- can you not be difficult for fucking once and just do what I ask?” Then, as an afterthought, he adds “Please?”

Damn, okay. You don’t say anything for a moment, thinking maybe you’re just smacked and he’s being normal.

“Suuuure… Just uh, gimme a minute,” You say carefully, putting the dishes down. Then, he hangs up on you. What a dick.

Unbeknownst to you, while you’ve been thinking about him, he’s been thinking about you way more.

You’ve been avoiding him- obviously. Not unexpected, but it pissed him off to no end. He’s fucking Adam! Who are you to ignore him? Aren’t you supposed to be keeping an eye on him, anyway?

By now, the others have started to accept him- including them in their plans, drinking with him, no longer leaving a room when he enters- so he doesn’t really need a chaperone anymore. Despite this, it still feels wrong. Even in a room with every other patron of the hotel, he’d started to notice when you weren’t there.

He didn’t even notice he was starting to miss you at first. It wasn’t until he and Charlie were seated at the bar, and he drank more than he probably should have, that he mentioned you were avoiding him.

“What’dya, miss her?” Husk asked.

“Awww, Adam!” He still remembers the look on her and Husker’s faces. “You are starting to change! That’s so sweet of you!”

And then because she was drunk she kept rambling about it for like 30 minutes, but he doesn’t remember the rest of what she said, just the utter humiliation he felt. He shut up for the rest of the night to avoid spilling his guts any more, but Husk- the annoying fucker- still gives him knowing looks every now and then.

And after Nifty had washed his sheets, and he’d noticed that his pillows lost the scent of cigarettes, perfume, and shampoo you’d left behind, he knew he was royally fucked.

The worst of all, though, is that he feels helpless to feeling these emotions- and even worse, he doesn’t want to stop feeling them. Before he’d even noticed it, he was thinking about you all the time, and he was fine with it. The embarrassment was killing him, even though, supposedly, nobody knew.

On this particular night, he’d probably had just a tad too much beer with his dinner, because when he’d returned to his room and flopped on his bed, there was a little bug in the back of his brain that kept whining about how empty it felt. He tossed and turned for a bit, just wanting to sleep it off, but he eventually gave up, reaching for his phone.

“Adam?” Before you’re finished knocking, Adam jumps up to get the door, pulling you inside quickly. You make a noise of surprise as he scoops you up immediately, not saying anything as he carries you to his bed.

“Damn, needy, huh?” You laugh. This time, it’s him telling you to shut up as he tosses you onto the bed and crawls over you.

You sit up slightly to help him get your shirt off, and then his lips are on your neck, trailing down to your chest as he unclips your bra.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” He says with a casual shrug as his hands run up your torso to grope at your tits.

“mm,” You hum, arching your back into his touch. “missed this?” You smile sarcastically. Missed you, he thinks.

“Sure missed these,” He pushes the thought away and grins back, squeezing your chest for emphasis. He pulls back briefly to rid himself of his own shirt, then bends back down to press more kisses to your flesh. He looks up, staring at your expression as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth, reveling in the whimper he’s rewarded with.

“fuckin’ perfect tits…” He mumbles into your chest before nipping at your skin. You let your eyes shut as his free hand slides down, under the band of your shorts and his finger brushes the hot skin beneath, skimming over your lips. Adam thumbs at your clit through your panties, relishing in the whine he rips from your throat.

Impatiently, you shift your hips up to slide off your shorts and panties, then reach to tug at his belt loops to signal he should do the same. When he looks up and sees the desperate look on your face, he decides not to keep you waiting, and pulls back to rip off his pants and boxers.

You guess avoiding him these past few days has affected you, too, because you’re surprisingly desperate. You sit up, wrapping your fingers around his cock, smearing his arousal across his length, and whatever he had been planning to say dies and comes out a needy garble of nonsense that makes you snicker.

To your surprise, he has no quip as he crawls over you and pushes himself between your legs. He bites back a gasp when you rub the head of his cock between your folds, a groan following a moment after as he begins pushing into you.

Your thighs are trembling by the time he’s fully inside of you, and you wrap your legs around his waist weakly while you adjust to the stretch.

He sits up fully, and from this view, you look stunning. The way you're laid back on his pillow, tears pricking in your eyes, he thinks you look more angelic than anything he ever saw in heaven.

“fuuuck,” He groans, letting his head fall onto the bed as he starts to move his hips.

“Adam!” The way you whine his name is truly sinful, and he feels his dick twitch in response.

“holyfuck, ‘s so big,” The slight burn makes you regret your impatience now, and his face makes you regret stroking his ego. You make a point to ignore his self satisfied laugh, focusing instead on how his cock stretched you open, making you to tighten and release around him. You turn your head, looking at his wicked fucked-out smile that grew wider and wider as his movements got deeper.

You can’t speak, you just moan helplessly as your hands search for anything to grab onto to steady yourself. You throw your hands around his neck and bury them in his now dark wings, in the way you always did. You gripped the feathers tightly and let out a moan and oh, god, he’s not going to last long, he thinks, with you gripping the sensitive feathers like that. He groans again, then his lips find your shoulder, where he leaves messy, open-mouthed kisses trailing towards your neck.

“so fuckin’ sexy, so, so good for me,” you barley even register that he’s speaking, with your entire focus being on the way he moved in and out of you.

“you’re- so beautiful,” he says between grunts. your eyes widen.

“wha-ahh-“ before you can question that, a particularly hard thrust makes the words die in your throat, and you’re clawing to his biceps again.

A warmth of pride erupts in your chest at the way his breathing has turned labored and his grip on you tightens. An arm snakes around your waist, the other under your head, pulling you impossibly tighter against him as he continues to desperately pound into you. The proud smirk you wore is wiped off your face when you feel one hand releases you and his hand trails down, eventually pressing a thumb your clit, rubbing small circles that make you moan and twitch beneath him.

You can’t even warn him before your whole body erupts. You spill over, you lose sense of where and who you are, all the while, Adam pounds into you, strokes you inside and out. You vaguely hear a sudden crash and him mumbling, thanking god that you came before him because seconds later, he’s spilling his own cum inside you with a broken wanton groan.

Adam stills for a moment, panting as he holds you close. When he rolls off you, he keeps one arm around you, pulling you against his chest. Huh. That’s new.

Neither of you say anything. That was… different, than you’re used to with him. You furrow your brows as you think, and find yourself confused. The cogs in your head turning something terrible in your mind, questioning his intentions.

Once you’ve caught your breath, you sit up, pushing away his arm as you go to find your clothes. He frowns, watching you pick your shirt up from the ground and pull it over your head. You looked guarded, like a cornered doe, like you were just waiting for the chance to sprint away.

Adam grabs his own boxers from the floor and pulls them on, quickly crossing the room to where you were. He looks down at you, and feels an odd, tightening in his chest, something he’s felt a lot since falling to hell.

He leans against the door, putting on a cocky smile.

“Soo… this was like a booty call, huh?”

“…Yeah, whatever. See ya,”

#i am SO out of practice writing smut holy shit this is so bad #took me fucking forever too #but hey i’m sick so i have a lot of time to write! #also i promise the next one won’t end immediately after the smut like these last two 😭 i’ve got the plot more figured out now #adam x reader #first man adam x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #!my stuff #!not sfw #first man adam #hazbin hotel adam #female reader

[filmbyjy]

MINESTREAM

SYPNOSIS > Wanting to start a new stream series with his best friends, Jay had a bright idea of playing some simple Minecraft with them. Everything was normal, until he realises there is another person in the call with them. He quickly learns that it was ni-ki’s older sister, (name). Watch how streaming a simple game of Minecraft can dig up some interesting feelings between the main leads.

FIFTEEN – that man is a f*cking simp

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

a/n: i used papago for like the translation so please correct me if I’m wrong😭

with the night wind blowing at your hair as you walked around with jay, you can’t help but closed your eyes. it was a nice walk at night. you had spent the afternoon with him at the cafe and talked a lot about a bunch of things.

you found out he liked a bunch of older songs, especially rock songs. he played the guitar and was trying to play more often. you also learnt he was decently fluent in Japanese, which surprised you.

“you know Japanese?” you say a little in shock and awe.

“yeah, I learnt it so that I didn’t have to keep staring at the subtitle and just actually concentrate on the anime I was watching. took a long time though but it was worth it at the end. i’m still learning more phrases.”

“that’s so cool!”

“ありがとうござい���す (thank you).” jay replies.

“you sound like a local. i’m impressed. did riki ever accidentally speak to you in Japanese?”

“he did. maybe once or twice. i understood what he said so it was fine.”

“well, you sound natural. maybe even better than me in Japanese.” you say.

jay laughs. his laughter was truly adorable. you couldn’t help but melt at it. it made you realise that being alone with jay made you feel super comfortable. due to your past experiences with disgusting guys in japan. you couldn’t stay alone with any guy without feeling unsafe. that of course did not include ni-ki, he was your brother after all, and heeseung.

and now, currently after having a heartfelt conversation at the cafe for a long time, the sun had set. you and jay were walking around the park and towards the campus grounds. there was a cyclist coming closer to the both of you so jay grabs your hand and pulls you to the side so you wouldn’t crash into the cyclist.

“oh. thank you, I didn’t realise there was someone.” you say. jay snorts.

“maybe, you shouldn’t aimlessly walk with your eyes closed.” he squeezes your hand since he was still holding it.

“I was enjoying my peace. the night feels cool and nice so why not, you know? besides, it’s the weekends tomorrow. I just need a small breather before I have to go back to sitting in my bedroom and painting.”

jay hums. the both of you continued to walk with your hands intertwined. neither of you minded and really remembered that jay’s hand was still interlocked with yours. in fact, it actually felt comfortable like it was meant to be.

was this fate?

right as those 3 words popped into your thoughts, jay’s phone rings. he answered it with his other hand still walking with you hand in hand. you had kept quiet, just listening in to his conversation with whoever it was.

“I’m doing fine. mmm, I’ll try to visit you guys during summer break. no. I don’t have a girlfriend.” it caught your attention. you knew jay was a good looking guy, tons of girls would’ve loved to talk to him so why doesn’t he have a girlfriend.

“mom, I know you’re worried about me. I can handle it. I’m only 22 this year. yes, I’m doing well in college as per usual.” he chuckles slightly. “I don’t want to go on a blind date, mom. I want to find my own girlfriend. someone that understands me and likes what I do.”

his eyes met with yours as he finishes his words. your heart stops. you nearly had a heart attack because why would jay just stare at you as he finishes his sentence. what did that mean? there is no way he likes you…right? it was too early! he can’t like you that way.

jay finishes up his call with his mom. he places his phone back in his pocket and turns to face you. “so what are you thinking of doing during our summer break?”

“mmm, I’m not sure. I haven’t thought about it. probably more streaming.”

“do you wanna stream with me? I probably wouldn’t go out much during the break.”

“I thought you were going to visit your parents?”

“I am but we could stream together after I visit them.”

“you aren’t staying for a week?”

“my parents are usually busy, they travel around a lot so they’ll probably fly out a day or two after I visit them.” jay explains. you hummed.

“me and riki would would definitely be free.”

“perfect. I could ask the others if they’d like to play too.”

finally, you had arrived in front of your dorm’s apartment building. unfortunately, jay lets go of your hand. the warmth was all gone and you already missed it.

“rest well and don’t overdo yourself. I know it’s tempting for you to just continue doing your artwork but you need to rest.”

“yes, jay. I know. I won’t overdo myself.”

“that’s my good girl.” he ruffles your hair. “well, I have to go. the boys probably would expect me to come back soon. they can’t survive without me. the dorm would’ve burnt down by now.” jay jokes.

you laughed, “alright. before you go, can I ask you something?”

“sure.”

“can we stream tomorrow?”

“of course.”

you had stepped forward and quickly left a peck on jay’s cheek before bolting in to your apartment building. jay holds the cheek that you had left a kiss on as he watches your figure growing smaller. a stupid smile adorning his face, he was smitten.

you had opened your front door after taking an elevator up to the floor. it slams shut as you entered it and laid your back against it. your heart racing quickly, the heat flaming against your cheeks.

“oneechan, what are you doing?” ni-ki appears at the hallway, his eyebrow raised as he looks at you in question.

“oh my god, I- riki, why are you walking so softly. when did you stand there?” you say as you were flustered.

“I was about to walk to the kitchen but I heard the front door slam. what happened?”

“nothing. just went out.”

“was there another stalker?” his voice sounding a little serious.

“oh, no no. no stalker, just umm i saw a flying cockroach outside.” you lied. the worry in ni-ki’s eyes dissipated, it was quickly replaced with fear.

“we really have to move. oneechan, I’m going to find us an apartment that’s better than here and is equally as near to school.”

“umm, we don’t have to.”

“I don’t care, I’m paying for the rent. you don’t need to worry.”

“riki!”

“consider this as a big early birthday present.” ni-ki skips over to you and pecks your cheek. “only the best for you big sis!”

you had to tiptoe to pat his head, “you have to stop spending money on me, riki. I can buy things on my own.”

“not until you get that streamer money.”

“well, can you really blame me for joining an art course because it’s my passion?”

“not at all, oneechan! you just have to not feel bad every time me and yvette noona want to pay something for you.”

“but I’ll owe you guys.” you pout.

“shhhh.” ni-ki grabs you and pushes you towards your bedroom door. “you don’t have to feel bad, I’ll do anything for you and any one of my friends! trust me, I’ll even ask sunoo hyung for house hunting advice.”

“is he even a reliable source-” ni-ki stops pushing you to your bedroom when you reach the middle of your room.

“he is a very reliable source. now, get some rest! I’ll find a house by the morning and then confirm stuff by next week. we’ll be in a new apartment in two weeks time.” ni-ki blows a kiss to you and shuts the door.

you sighed. ni-ki was an amazing younger brother and you love him to the moon and back. he’s a one of a kind brother, anyone would want him. however, you felt so burdened by the fact that you felt like you owe something to him. you knew he didn’t care if you paid back or not and he always treats you. it’s just the guilt creeping up on you.

you looked down at your phone and glanced at the lockscreen, it was a baby photo of ni-ki. everything you did was for him. your parents could always trust you with ni-ki and vice versa. with them running a company back in Japan, it was hard for them to come home. hence, you had to grow up for ni-ki. of course, your parents were grateful. they always brought both you and ni-ki out as a little treat. it wasn’t a surprise when ni-ki wanted to fly out to Seoul with you to go college. he’s a constant in your life and your parents knew that. hence, they didn’t say no to ni-ki and allowed him to take the same flight as you.

you had taken a shower quickly and changed into your pyjamas before deciding that you had to sleep. you had to continue up painting before streaming again tomorrow. just as you dried your hair and then threw yourself on the bed, you can’t help but remember what you did when you came home. you hid your face behind the pillows.

as for jay…

he was busy giggling and kicking his feet in his bedroom. jake and sunghoon were confused as to why jay was just mindlessly walking to his bedroom and then they heard a ‘girlish’ giggle from jay’s room. both jake and sunghoon looked at each other in shock.

“he’s gone insane.” sunghoon says. jake nods.

“didn’t he go out with (name) just now?” jake asks.

slowly the put the pieces together, sunghoon’s eyes widened. “we’ve truly lost him.”

“that man is a fucking simp.” both sunghoon and jake say at the same time.

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[venusiangguk]

the art of yearning | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader / dilf!jk x grocery store clerk!oc

>>genre: friends with benefits, smut, angst

>>word count: 15.7k 

>>warnings: dom jk, sub oc, age gap, taekook heart to heart, a lot of self-directed negative thoughts from nari’s father </3, jaykay being a dumb man 😕, jaykay needing everything spelled out for him 🙄, tae to the rescue <3, hobi for comedic relief bc jfc 😭 the YEARNING, guilty jerk sesh lets goooo, lots of memories n fantasies <3, omg slight hinting at jk’s subby era!!, 1 finish followed by many regrets n thoughts ~~

>>notes: part 1 of 2 <3 this part is the post-fight happenings from jk’s pov! i split it up bc as we can see it’s already quite long 🥲 pls dont be mad at me <3 i hope u guys are able to understand jk’s reasoning n thought process a lil more after this !! 

this is part of my dilf jk series that can be found on my masterlist

>>summary: jungkook wants you as much as he misses you.

It’s a bit colder than the last time he was here. The air a bit chillier, the wind a little sharper. It’s admittedly been a while. A month, maybe a touch less. Jeongguk hasn’t really been keeping track. 

 Circumstances, like the weather, differ from the last time he was here as well. 

 It shouldn’t still feel like it’s as big of a deal as it does. It shouldn’t still be pressing so heavy on him, and it definitely shouldn’t cross his mind as often as it does when he deliberately does his best not to think about it. About you.

 You said you would think about things, but Jeongguk never said the same. So he truly does not understand why he just cannot keep you out of his head.

 When it’s his week with Nari, it’s not as bad– the thought of you isn’t so nonstop. Her terrible two’s, which really aren’t that terrible, keep him busy. 

 Constantly trying to keep up with her, or running around his home trying to find that damn narwhal that she always seems to misplace, even though he feels like she always has it in her tiny hands. She’s taken it with her everywhere since you got it for her. And there you are again. On his mind, clouding his thoughts. 

 Constantly redoing her pigtails that she yanks out. It’s a new, maybe slightly terrible, habit that she’s picked up. And they’re still always lopsided despite the numerous times you tried to show him how to make them symmetrical. You said something about tugging gently on the tiny sprouts until they were where he wanted them so– There he goes.

 Constantly closing and reclosing the baby gate she’s learned to open in the gym whenever he tries to clear his head by getting a workout in. Exercising does help a small amount when he’s not interrupted by his daughter. And when he doesn’t think about how the smudged handprints on the mirror got there. The ones that he has still yet to clean. Those instances are a bit gross but they aren’t exactly his fault. He doesn’t actively think about you then;  he’s reminded.

 A lot of things seem to remind him of you. 

 Work also keeps him occupied for the most part. Until it doesn’t. 

 Visions of you on your front, against his desk, with your hands cuffed behind your back, interrupt him during his video conferences. The metal part of his chair has scratches on it from where the same cuffs rubbed against it, metal on metal, as he struggled against their hold with you on top of him– his suits get caught on the ridges, the material getting snagged on the raised, uneven metal. Just like you get caught on the ridges of his brain, the memory of you getting snagged on his conscience.

 Jeongguk feels so guilty when he lets his mind wander to you like that.

 But that’s not even the worst of it. It’s even harder when Nari is at Dasom’s. 

 That’s when it really hits him– how intertwined you had become in his life. 

 You’re not there anymore, but you’re still everywhere. 

 You’re in the kitchen when he wakes up to make his morning coffee. In his shirt with sleepy eyes and a hopeless smile on your face as you laugh embarrassed. Telling him in your slightly scratchy morning voice that you had wanted to surprise him with his americano, but you couldn’t figure out the ‘fancy, high-tech’ coffee machine. 

 He can’t even remember how many times he showed you how to work it. You were able to figure out the blender eventually, but the Jura he splurged on seemed to have been a lost cause.

 You’re in his closet when he picks out his clothes; you’re picking out some of his to wear as your own, too. You’re in the articles of clothing you left behind, still taking up space in his dresser just as much as you’re still taking up space in his mind. 

 You’re on the couch with him when he settles down after work, fidgeting because you were never able to sit still for very long. Going back and forth between having your feet tucked underneath you, and outstretched on the recliner. Between having your head in your hand, and in his lap. 

 Jeongguk will say that he’s able to get through a series, a movie, a documentary– much faster, and he’s able to remember the premise a lot better now that he doesn’t have you constantly asking him questions about the plot. Questions you would have found the answer to eventually if you would have just watched. An annoying, yet cute and endearing tendency of yours that he misses more than he thought he would and more than he probably should.

 You’re in the garden too. In the flowers, the colors of the petals match the color of your nails that week. You’re in the grass, resting atop a blanket, head pillowed on your arms, just watching him as he tends to the weeds. You’re in the sun that beats down on his back because it feels warm, exactly like you did.

 A brisk breeze blows Jeongguk out of his thoughts and back to the present. He’s met with the familiar door in front of him. He’s apprehensive as he brings his hand up to knock.

 It opens before he even gets a chance to rap his knuckles against the wood, and he’s face to face with an overly excited, loud person.

 “Hello, my good…” Hoseok’s bright smile drops and his brows pinch in confusion, “singular bitch?” His tone is puzzled as he looks at Jeongguk and then over his shoulder like he’s searching for someone. “Where’s __?”

 Jeongguk sighs quietly, knowing that the questions were inevitably going to come. He RSVP’d you coming with him to Friendsgiving a bit prematurely, even before he asked you, just figuring it would be a given that you would agree and want to join. You were supposed to go with him and–

 He feels a teeny, tiny hand squeeze at his pinky, trying to get his attention. Nari’s eyes are big and round as she looks up at him. Her orange, leaf-shaped hair bow is about to fall out as she babbles a mostly decipherable version of your name, and Jeongguk’s heart chips a little in his chest. Her speech is getting better every day, even if she still babbles in broken phrases. Even if a lot of her words are still hard to pick up on and talking is her last resort. After you left, your name became one of the few words she could say clearly.

 He gives her a gentle, sad smile and shakes his head softly. “Not today, boba.”

 Nari seems mostly unbothered, used to that answer by now, her attention going to the rings on her dad’s fingers. She doesn’t ask about you as much anymore. Only when she’s reminded of you, like just now when Hoseok said your name or that time Jeongguk caved and looked through his photos with her tucked into his side while he thought she was preoccupied with her show on the tv. Maybe you’re starting to fade away in her little baby brain.

 Jeongguk’s attention goes back to his friend, who is standing with a tense smile on his face. “Thanks for that,” he says with a pointed look, walking through the threshold with full hands. 

 Hoseok throws his palms up. “Well how was I supposed to know you and __,” he mouths your name silently, “broke up? You don’t ever even reply to the groupchat anymore.”

 “That is because I have the groupchat muted. Also, we didn’t break up. We were never together,” Jeongguk says matter-of-factly, plucking the bow from Nari’s hair and trying to fix it and put it back in with one hand. He taps the little, lop-sided sprout and says, “Go on, say ‘hi’ to Uncle Hobi.”

 Nari smiles, the tulle bottom of her poofy dress bouncing, her teeny mary janes clicking with each step as she toddles over to her uncle. She extends her pudgy arms, one of her hands holding her narwhal.

 Hoseok crouches, picking up the baby. “Oh my goodness! Look at all those 2-year-old teeth!” His eyes drop to the plush she’s holding by the horn, “And what is th-” 

 Jeongguk interrupts him, shaking his head and making a loud, scolding, AH sound. And when their eyes meet, Hoseok’s are wide and confused, and Jeongguk’s are trying to convey ‘do not’.

 “Okay!” Hoseok carries on swiftly, the same stiff smile still on his face, “Let’s get Daddy to drop off that pie he’s holding, and then you can go see all your cousins and aunties and other less important uncles, hmm?” he coos to Nari, turning to walk towards Namjoon’s kitchen.

 “Jes!” she spouts, nodding in a rather professional manner like the plan is exactly perfect and like they should get right to business. She points towards where she knows the kitchen is with 3 of her baby fingers.

 Jeongguk follows suit smiling softly at his daughter while he simultaneously readies himself to face the onslaught of questions. The ones about where you are, what happened, and who did what. Whose fault it is. If he’s reached out;  if you have. If he regrets it; if he misses you. The sooner he gets that over with, the sooner he can have a glass of wine. Or two.

 Hoseok has other plans, sitting Nari’s butt on the marble countertop, next to the pie that Jeongguk sets down. When Jeongguk looks at him ready to take their leave, Hoseok is looking at the dessert.

 “What the hell is that, JK?”

 Jeongguk’s mouth drops open, before he sniffs, offended. “I made it from scratch and I worked very hard on it and you’re very rude.” He glances at the pie that’s under scrutiny, and will admit (to himself) that it’s not particularly… pretty. But it’s still edible. Probably.

 His friend makes a disgusted face that he doesn’t even try to hide. “Why didn’t you just buy one like we normally do?”

 The whole group rotates what they bring every year, and yes, everyone aside from Yoongi and Taehyung’s wife all provided a store-bought pie when it was their turn. Jeongguk shrugs.

  “You can grill. You can’t bake. You know this,” Hoseok reminds.

 When Jeongguk just stays quiet, Hoseok groans, rolling his eyes. Nari mimes him like a little parrot, her groan tinted with laughter like she thinks she’s the funniest thing in the world. Jeongguk agrees.

 “Don’t tell me–” Hoseok starts.

 “I just didn’t want to go to the grocery store,” Jeongguk interrupts, his voice huffy, even though he tries to sound nonchalant. Like it was completely normal for him to avoid the grocery store he’s been going to regularly for years.

 “Jeongguk,” the elder gripes, “what the fuck is going on?”

 Hoseok whispers the swear word as if that will prevent Nari from hearing it when she’s sat right in front of him and Jeongguk scowls, grabbing his toddler. He’s turning to walk away and talking over his shoulder. “She can still hear it even if you whisper it.”

 Quick footsteps catch up to Jeongguk before they fall into step with him. “Have you just been eating takeaway for–” Hoseok pauses, “however long it’s been? Don’t you care about your spawn’s health?”

 “Don’t call her that and of course, I haven’t,” Jeongguk replies, disgruntled. “I’ve been getting groceries delivered… Yoongi left us some food a couple of times too.”

 “Thank god for Yoongi,” Hoseok says with a roll of his eyes. “Have you been getting them from that place with the ridiculous delivery fee?”

 Jeongguk stays silent once again, adjusting Nari on his hip. Only a couple more feet until they reach the backyard and he can be free from Hoseok’s pestering. 

 “You know just because you have a lot of money and can spend it on stupid things, doesn’t mean you should,” Hoseok says in a rather bored tone before adding, “Also you could have literally gotten a pie delivered.” 

 Jeongguk pauses when they reach the sliding glass door, turning to look at the other. “First of all I tried, they’ve been sold out since Tuesday. Second of all, can we please just drop it? At least for right now?” he asks, a bit quieter. “I’ll tell you later, I just–” He tapers off at the end, his lips pursing.

 Hoseok softens, as he reads Jeongguk. He notes how tired he looks, his eyes dark underneath. The kind of sad twinge the younger’s voice has taken. How his shoulders sag a bit like something’s been weighing him down. And then Hoseok simply gives a nod and a small, slightly apologetic smile. 

 His hand comes to Jeongguk’s shoulder and he squeezes a few times, hoping the gesture comes off reassuring. “You know I’m just messing with you. And that I only ask because I care. Tell us when you want.”

 It’s then that Jeongguk’s reminded why they all have been friends for so long, and why he’s so grateful for them. 

 Although he’s had the groupchat muted, he’s glanced at it. He saw everyone still including him in the conversations even though he never replied. 

 Saw the individual texts from them too. 

 Jimin’s telling him that Solmi misses Nari and that they should have a playdate. Volunteering to host said playdate, to watch the girls for a little while, to let Jeongguk have a break if he needs it. 

 The ‘just checking in on you’ texts from Joon. Simple yet heartfelt messages that were a little too soft to read without his eyes stinging. 

 The offers from Jin and Hoseok to be his workout partners– the ones given despite the fact that everyone knows the older two have done their best to avoid joining Jeongguk at the gym since he picked up his relatively new and exceedingly intense boxing workouts. 

 Yoongi’s straightforward messages. Merely short notes; just quiet reminders that told Jeongguk a lot more than to remember to bring in the food Yoongi left by the door, to be quick so the bugs don’t get to it. I’ll take care of you, but remember to take care of yourself too.

 Taehyung’s ‘wyd’ texts, followed by a game invite on the Xbox that Jeongguk’s been playing more often than he’d liked to admit. He never pushed when Jeongguk declined, even though he could see him online.

 Hoseok opens the sliding glass door for them, and everyone’s heads turn to look. And it would be funny, the way that everyone’s smiles turn a little confused. If said smiles didn’t precede inquiries.

 “Where’s __?” 

 Jeongguk loves his friends, but it’s going to be a long night.

 ~~~

 The fancy outdoor patio lamps on Namjoon’s deck double as heaters and keep Jeongguk from shivering in the late autumn air as he sips that glass of wine he promised himself. A red that’s a hint more bitter than what he usually likes, but it seems fitting. 

 Maybe he’s a bit dramatic. And maybe he’s wallowing. 

 But he blames it on the alcohol. Doesn’t acknowledge that he’s been down, off, for a while. About a month, maybe a touch less.

 He moves his gaze from the red he’s absently swirling in his glass to the house, peering in from the outside. Sees all the kids playing in the living room, some of the adults on the couch by the fire, some in the kitchen still picking at the leftovers that Namjoon’s fiancée is trying to put away. That’s a recent development that came as no surprise, and Jeongguk’s happy for Namjoon and Hyesoo, but he wishes he could be happier. 

 One of Taehyung’s twins has Nari on their back, her hands gripping tightly in the floppy mop of hair on the boy's head. Jeongguk smiles softly to himself when he sees her mouth open and her eyes turn into tiny, little half-moons as she laughs. He closes his own briefly, tries to hear her baby giggles in his head. When he opens them again, his view is cut off by the twins’ dad.

 The bottle in Taehyung’s hand is full and the same kind that’s in the glass Jeongguk’s been nursing. He's holding another for himself as well. He stays quiet for a while as he stands behind the seat across from Jeongguk.

 “We’re gonna pull names for Secret Santa soon,” Taehyung eventually states.

 Jeongguk inhales deeply before blowing out like he’s readying himself to be around the rest of the gang again. His breath makes the few out-of-place strands of hair that have fallen across his forehead flutter, his hairstyle now messy from his hands running through it one too many times. Then he nods. “Alright. Should probably head inside then.”

 Taehyung mirrors his nod with a contemplative look. “Or we could just chat for a while. Make the kids practice patience for once.”

 “We could,” Jeongguk agrees easily, a barely-there grin on his lips. Maybe because he doesn’t want to go inside. Maybe because he knows his friend will quote-unquote, make him talk about what happened. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t think talking through everything would help alleviate some of the ache.

 The older boy looks like he gets himself comfortable, taking a seat and pulling the cork from the bottle. He tops off Jeongguk’s glass and while he’s filling his own he says, “Why’d you end things with her?”

 Jeongguk falters briefly, the wine glass pausing right before it reaches his lips. “You don’t know it was me that cut it off.”

 He gets a shrug in response. “I suppose. But if we’re going off track records, it’s you that has a bad one.” Taehyung snickers when Jeongguk scowls at him.

 Jeongguk clicks his tongue as he takes another, bigger sip. “Fair, I guess…” he amends, but doesn’t elaborate. Instead, he just sighs. “I don’t know. She’s too young. Or maybe I’m too old. Maybe the places that we’re at in life are just too different.” He doesn’t say it, but he thinks that he may be too far ahead and that he’s not sure if you would have been able to catch up because that’s just the way that time works. “Either way, it doesn’t matter.”

 “Did she somehow get younger since the barbeque? Because it didn’t seem like it bothered you then?” Taehyung asks with a chuckle before adding, “Also, 7 years isn’t even that big of an age difference. I think the thing that might make you feel like it’s a bigger deal than it is, is the fact that there is such a drastic difference in your careers… ” 

 He ponders quietly for a second before he decides to tack on, “Which is okay, you’re allowed to be cautious about that kind of stuff. If I made as much as you, I would too,” Taehyung puts a humble hand to his chest, a soft laugh falling from his lips. The hand he raises is modest because he does very well for himself, right on par with Jeongguk and they both know it. “But I also hope you know that it’s normal for her to not know what she wants to do at her age. Not everyone is like you and Dasom were.”

 The way Jeongguk’s cheeks turn to a faint hue of pink at the mention of the barbeque is an involuntary reaction, and he presses his eyes shut to try and fight off the wave of embarrassment. But little snapshot memories of you play against his lids like a montage– you in the water talking with Jin’s wife, at the edge of the pool with aioli on your bottom lip. In the chair next to him with Nari sleeping in your lap, in the bathroom with flushed cheeks, and him between legs. In his hands, in his arms, in his heart. 

 He revels in it, lets himself miss you for just a moment. 

 “___ met her by the way. Dasom, I mean. That was the– catalyst? The thing that got the ball rolling, I guess?” Jeongguk states softly, like he’s not sure if he chose the right words. He’s trying for an air of nonchalance, his eyes flicking downcast as his tattooed fingers toy with the stem of his glass. 

 “And that never really bothered me surprisingly. Like her job…” he adds with a half-hearted shrug. “But you’re right. It’s okay that she doesn’t know what she wants to do career-wise yet…” He watches a droplet of condensation run down the curve of the glass until it drops, the moisture making the wood of the table a few shades darker.

 “But that was just another factor. The not knowing that came with her being so much younger. I think she thought that she knew what she wanted. Thought that she wanted to be with me.” He shrugs again, a small, slightly sad smile on his face. 

 “I’m not sure she knew what being with a divorced father would actually entail, or that she would have still wanted it if she did. I couldn’t let her trap herself, no matter how much I wanted her to stay. It would have just led to resentment and regret. And I wouldn’t have been able to handle her hating me.” He glances at Taehyung briefly before he looks away. “We just had a wake-up call, I guess. A bit of a reality check.” 

 Taehyung winces sympathetically. “I can see how your current girlfriend meeting your baby mama could make things a smidge tense, and cause you to really think things over, maybe take a break… But enough for you to completely end things?”

 Jeongguk doesn’t bother correcting Taehyung. Just shakes his head. “It was always going to…” He pauses, thinks to himself quietly. End doesn’t feel like the right word because you and him never really began. “Stop…” he settles on saying. “If it wasn’t Nari’s mom, it would have been something else, you know? The wake-up call would have come eventually. And sooner is better than later.”

 “Wait back up…” Taehyung’s eyes roam like he’s trying to make sense of what Jeongguk is saying and his previous statement is just now registering. “But she said she wanted to be with you?” he clarifies.

 Jeongguk nods, takes a sip of wine.

 “And you wanted to be with her?”

 Jeongguk gives another, more stilted nod. “I mean, yeah…? But like I said, it just wouldn’t have worked –for a number of reasons– and we had a wake-up call.”

 “Okay,” Taehyung shuts his eyes and shakes his head along with his hands, trying to shush his friend. “Forget about this alleged wake-up call and your reasons for like two seconds,” he says.

 Jeongguk sits quietly across from him.

 “So you’re telling me she blatantly said she wanted to be with you–” He places one hand on the table, palm up before continuing. “–and that you wanted to be with her–” He places his other hand on top of his first, interlocking his fingers as if he’s putting two and two together. “–but you ended things, basically made her decision for her–” He jerks his hands apart dramatically, with an explosive gesture. “–because you think she doesn’t know what she wants?”

 A brief lull in the conversation ensues. 

 “Among other things,” Jeongguk quips eventually with pinched brows. He feels a bit small like he’s being scolded.

 Taehyung’s head tilts back, and he takes a deep breath before speaking in a very parent-esque tone like he’s trying to explain something to a child. “Jeongguk, you cannot do that. You have got to let people make their own decisions.”

 Jeongguk does not appreciate the intonation and he shows as much by narrowing his eyes. 

 “So ___ met your ex, who probably manipulated the situation to her liking,” Jeongguk opens his mouth to defend the mother of his child –it’s a habit at this point– but Taehyung cuts him off with a raised hand and a roll of his eyes. “The woman literally twists and manhandles situations for a living, please save your ‘Dasom’s not a bad person, she’s not a bad mom’ lecture.” 

 Taehyung’s known Dasom for a long time and while he’s never really been her biggest fan, even he will acknowledge that part of her, the part that’s calculating and crafty with words, is a skill just as much as it’s a flaw. It always instilled an unsettled, almost disturbed, awe in him when he caught glimpses of how she was able to spin things to get her way and gain control over situations. It made her an incredible lawyer; it allowed her to excel in her field and advance her career incredibly fast. 

 And he’s well aware that Dasom has a right, to some extent as Nari’s mother, to question who Jeongguk brings around their daughter. But he also knows she can be dramatic, calculative, and quite cruel at times. He doesn’t doubt that seeing someone new in her old home with her ex-husband put her on the defensive… Made her lash out, blow things out of proportion, and use that skill of hers to put thoughts into Jeongguk’s head, and potentially yours too, to attain the upper hand again. 

 In all honesty, when Taehyung looks at it from an unbiased, objective point of view… He’s not sure he can even blame Jeongguk’s ex. Even if he is harsh for the simple fact that he’s Jeongguk’s best friend and does think that Dasom likely exaggerated the points of whatever she said– it’s not hard to gather that the entire situation was shit all around, and everyone involved was caught off guard. 

 The natural tension that comes with unexpected and unfamiliar situations probably caused everyone to act in ways they typically wouldn’t. Words harsher, actions meaner, outcomes more drastic. The damage done to all parties by all parties was most likely unintentional, albeit extreme. 

 But he says what he says, and promptly carries on with his point. “So she met your lawyer ex, and you told her she doesn’t know what she wants…” Taehyung finishes as if he’s keeping a mental tab of everything that went wrong. “And then ___ just… left?”

 “It was slightly more intense and painful and complicated than that,” Jeongguk replies in a defensive tone, “but essentially I guess? I mean I told her I wasn’t going to let her stay so what else was she going to do? I didn’t really give her much of a choice.”

 Taehyung’s face falls, and he chooses to ignore how easily the words fall from Jeongguk’s lips; almost like they don’t fully register.  “Please tell me you didn’t actually say that to her. That you ‘wouldn’t let her stay’.” 

 Jeongguk stays silent once more, a miffed expression overtaking his features this time.

 “Jesus, Gguk.” Taehyung pinches the bridge of his nose, looks like he’s in actual pain because of Jeongguk’s actions. “Have you talked to her since?” 

 The younger one deflates, his irritation transitions quickly and smoothly to dejection. “Kinda. She left in the middle of the night really upset… like crying. And we– she was probably tired… Then add the stress of Dasom showing up–” 

 He winces to himself, remembering the state you were in. He wasn’t much better off, but still, he feels bad because– “I knew all of that and I still let her leave. Obviously? Right? Because I was the one that told her to go?” He looks confused, like he’s trying to make sense of his past actions and what he was feeling at that moment because it doesn't quite make sense now. 

 “Anyway, I got really worried and I impulsively texted her, asking if she made it home safe…” After a tense pause, he tacks on: “She didn’t reply.” Like it’s an afterthought.

 “And neither would I if someone said the things you said to her, to me,” Taehyung says with a flat stare.

 “Who’s side are you on?” The questioned reply sounds whiny, maybe slightly begging.

 “Yours!” Taehyung exclaims, “We are all Team Jeongguk except Jeongguk.”

 The notes of the conversation have been a bit melancholic for obvious reasons, but it’s more or less remained easy to manage. However, as Jeongguk holds Taehyung’s stare for a few long moments he feels a wonted, recognizable ache begin to stop up his voice. He looks away with a shake of his head. “You don’t get it. You don’t know everything that happened, or how it felt to get rid of her when she was–”

 Cutting himself off is a consequence of the lump in his throat. That familiar, ordinarily tender ache growing until he can’t get around it anymore. 

 “Then tell me,” Taehyung stresses, adding a pleading edge to his words. “Explain to me what happened, describe how it felt to cut her out. When she was what? Spell it out for me,” he requests. 

 Sure he wants to know, but he’s mainly trying to keep Jeongguk talking. Trying to get him to work through the false narratives he has in his head for why he ended things with you, while he explains them to him.

 Jeongguk’s brooding; ruminating as he tries to sort his thoughts. Surface level– they're easy, simple questions when he thinks about them easily and simply. When he contemplates them in superficial ways. 

 What happened? He cut you out.  

 How did it feel to cut you out? It hurt. 

 What were you to him that made it hurt when he cut you out? The basic, most elementary explanation would be that you were someone he cared about and someone he wanted to keep. 

 It's simple enough to explain, easy enough to understand when he describes it superficially.

 But when he digs deeper, thoroughly reflects– it’s not as easy. It’s quite the contrary. 

 Because with depth comes intricacies that are so weighted and hold so much gravity that it makes them too difficult and complex to explain. They are too personal and intimate and special to describe to someone who just isn’t privy. 

 Jeongguk couldn’t even figure it out. Even he wasn’t able to grasp, couldn’t comprehend, wasn’t able to figure out a way to make you and him simple; him and you easy enough to just work. 

 And if he couldn’t understand it– he’s not convinced he’ll be able to break it down and simplify it enough to elucidate it to someone who doesn’t know you as he did, someone who didn’t get to experience you the way he got to. 

 Because it’s all so much bigger than ‘cutting’ and ‘hurting’ and ‘caring’ and ‘wanting’.

 Jeongguk gives Taehyung the plainest, most straightforward explanation that he can muster. “It hurt to cut her out because I cared about her and I wanted her. But I had to.”

 “If you wanted her, why didn’t you let yourself have her?” Taehyung asks, his voice inquisitively puzzled and laced with empathetic pity.  “Why did you have to?” 

 “It was never supposed to be serious,” Jeongguk snaps, his voice vexed and short, like he’s irritated that he has to explain because it should be obvious. “We were never supposed to get as involved or like– as invested as we did. That wasn’t part of the plan–”

 Taehyung retaliates and makes his voice sharp to match. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Jeongguk. Was the divorce not enough for you to realize that plans don’t mean shit? Was that not enough for you to see that even literal years of planning won’t keep something from falling apart?”

 The shift in the atmosphere could be felt even as he was still speaking. Now that he’s done and it's quiet, the tension is palpable and Taehyung knows he’s so incredibly close to overstepping. He can tell Jeongguk is trying to keep himself calm. The younger has his hands curled into tight fists and he does that tick– the one where he subtly jerks his head to the side, jutting his jaw out firmly. But still, Taehyung continues, although he treads a bit more carefully this time. 

 His voice is quiet and he’s talking at a slower pace than normal like he’s trying to ease Jeongguk into his next point. “Was having a baby to save your marriage part of your plan?”

 It’s not a laugh; the sound that leaves his lips can’t be classified as that– but Jeongguk barks out something. Maybe a scoff? A cackle? Taehyung can’t be sure, but it's an irate, sarcastic, scary thing that lets him know that Jeongguk is fuming, just shy of being absolutely done with him and his shit.

 “Tae, I promise you that if you do not think before you open your fucking mouth again–”

 Taehyung winces and raises his hands in both surrender and defense like he’s trying to placate Jeongguk while also trying to protect himself. “Please– just let me finish?”

 Jeongguk says nothing– the lividity coloring his features is telling enough. And Taehyung should probably do the same: Say nothing and heed the verbal and gestural warnings. Should probably read the room. 

 Naturally, he does not. Instead, choosing to tentatively continue.

 “Was having a baby to save your marriage part of your plan? No. It wasn’t. But!” Taehyung rushes the words out, using the conjunction as a way to let Jeongguk know that he still has more to say and a chance to redeem himself.

  “But– it also didn’t ruin anything. Something happening that isn’t part of the original plan, doesn’t automatically mean the new outcome is going to end up bad.” Taehyung watches Jeongguk’s scowl intensify, but he also sees how his clenched fists lose some of the tension, the veins and tendons becoming more subtle under his tattooed skin. 

 “You ended up with the best thing that’s ever happened to you because things didn’t go according to plan,” Taehyung reiterates, his voice soft, yet stern. 

 There’s a decent lull in the flow of the conversation; enough time for Jeongguk to speak up. Taehyung decides to continue when he doesn’t. 

 “Make all the plans you want, Jeongguk. But you will never be able to plan for everything. It’s impossible because there’s no way for you to know what’s going to happen.” He gives him another chance to say something, but Jeongguk’s lips are pressed in a stubborn line and his jaw is clenched. 

 Taehyung begins again, “You can make all the plans you want but most, if not all, of them, aren’t going to go the way you thought they would or the way you thought you wanted. They’re going to deviate in some way or another because you were planning for something uncertain and constantly changing.”

 “There’s a chance that some of the outcomes will be bad, and that they will hurt so fucking bad. It could end up being the worst thing that ever happens to you. And I get being scared of that. I get why you want to plan, and why you have this ‘one or the other/all or nothing/black and white' mindset. I know it feels safer and like you have more control,” Taehyung sympathizes. 

 “But you have to acknowledge that there’s also a chance that an unplanned outcome can be better than an intended one. It could be the best thing that ever happens to you. It could be a ‘Nari’ outcome.” Taehyung tries for an encouraging smile. “___ might be one of those ‘plans’ that don’t go the way you mean for it to but end up resulting in something better. But you won’t ever know if you don’t let go of some of that control and just let things happen.”

 The sentiment Jeongguk is left with is a bruising, taxing one. It’s making his throat tight and swallowing Taehyung’s notions, a chore. He’s blinking back heavy, angry tears, because he knows that what his friend is saying makes sense. He also knows that it doesn’t really change much of anything because he already let you go.

 “I know that I can’t control everything and that I can’t predict every single outcome,” Jeongguk starts, “But I have to think about things long-term. If I can prevent certain things from occurring, or even encourage some, by planning… Then I have to at least make an effort to. For Nari’s sake.”

 “Well obviously you think long-term about the big picture,” Taehyung agrees. He’s a father too, after all. “But you have to be willing to compromise and adapt along the way. It doesn’t have to be completely all or nothing or as extreme as you think it does. You can change your mind as things happen. Choices aren’t contracts. You can have a change of heart and you can change the quote-unquote, plan.”

 Jeongguk feels his stomach drop at the last part of Taehyung’s statement, feels a little sick actually– so he bypasses it completely, acts like he doesn’t hear it. Instead, he says, “I didn’t do that with ___. Looking back, it feels like I didn’t think about anything long term when I was with her.”

 Taehyung looks at him, puzzled. “What do you mean?”

 “It was like everything was only as big as her. I only thought ahead when I was thinking about the next time I would see her. I stopped planning and being responsible and I started overlooking what should have been important and–” Jeongguk’s mouth opens and closes a few times like he’s trying to find the words but he ends up just shaking his head, his voice quiet when he goes with, “It was like I wanted her so badly that I got consumed by her because everything felt so good and I was so happy… I didn’t think about anything else. Didn’t think about Nari, I didn’t think about __… I didn’t even think about my future self.”

 Jeongguk’s elbows find their place on the table and he presses the heels of his palms into his eyes, before scrubbing his hands down his face, tired and defeated looking when he glances up again. “I forgot that I had priorities like–  I have a baby, a tiny person that is directly dependent on me for everything. I– I can’t just do that.” 

 “Also, I was being so selfish the whole time,” he transitions in an almost panicky tone. He’s rambling, ranting perhaps, with a self-directed, humorless laugh, “And it was so easy to be that way and get lost in her because of how she was. She was so good, Tae. Like carefree, and sweet, and so giving. She made everything so–” 

 His words get cut short. Caught on his heart that’s ballooning; swelling so big in his chest. Filling his pleural cavity with this contrite guilt that’s so sharp it cuts through his brain fog and he becomes so miserably aware of the fact that maybe it was so easy for him to be so selfish –so thoughtless– with you was due to you being so ready and so willing to give him everything– without asking for anything in return. 

 He didn’t have to give to get –and he didn’t mean to, he didn’t do it consciously– but he ended up just taking and taking and taking. 

 The epiphanic dawning makes it sound raw, almost choked when he gets out, “–just so much better and easier.”

 “Gguk–” Taehyung tries.

 “God I was so fucking selfish– like so careless with her,” he repeats. Sounds kind of shocked, surprised with himself. “Like– I knew I had no intention of keeping her. Even if I ended up wanting to, I knew. I always knew I wouldn’t let myself have her like that. And still,” He stresses the word and squeezes his eyes shut and just barely shakes his head, “I still intertwined our lives together so seamlessly and I still–” 

 The atmosphere is heavy and there’s an air of disappointment cloaking Jeongguk’s thoughts and admissions. It’s undeniable that the chagrin is self-directed; displeased with himself not only because of how irresponsible he feels he was –with you and his daughter– but also because of how he’s let the whole situation deplete him. How he let himself get so fixated that he’s only just now recognizing, or maybe admitting, his faults. How he allowed the situation to evolve into something so much bigger and heavier than it should have; exhausting him. 

 Taehyung, who finishes off his glass of wine during the pregnant pause, looks across the table and holds Jeongguk’s gaze for a fleeting moment before he’s shrugging. His tone is listless, lackadaisical as he says, “I don’t think you were being selfish. You said it yourself: You were happy with her. She was happy with you.”

 Jeongguk sits there, flabbergasted and at a loss for words. It feels like he’s falling apart, maybe close to dying even– yet across from him his best friend looks almost bored? Maybe not bored, but stoically calm? Aloof? 

 And Jeongguk knows he’s being sensitive and dramatic and he knows it’s not Taehyung that’s becoming hyperconscious of his past mistakes, but aloof isn’t exactly the reaction he expected after more or less having a breakdown. Jeongguk takes a moment, gathers himself just to become confused again when he catches up to Taehyung’s words. 

 He asks his friend if he means what he said about not thinking that Jeongguk was selfish. Can’t fathom how Taehyung couldn’t see the selfishness of his actions, how he can find him blameless in the situation; when he, himself feels his self-interest was blatant.

 “Based on what you told me, I think you portrayed a lot of…” The older one pauses, eyes looking skyward like he’s searching for the right word. It kind of seems like he’s settling, trying to soften the blow, when he says “...unbecoming qualities.” 

 His shoulders slump at Taehyung’s words, but Jeongguk now deems that he doesn’t need to know how his friend can find him blameless because his friend simply doesn’t. 

 Not that Jeongguk can blame him. 

 “But I don’t think selfishness was one of them because I don't think it’s selfish to prioritize happiness,” he states. “It’s the universal pursuit– everyone wants it…” He squints at Jeongguk, his expression mildly captious. “If anything I think you were more selfish when you ended things.”

 A soft, unbelieving scoff leaves Jeongguk's lips before he can stop it. He recovers by shaking his head. His fingers extend, and he waves his hands around a little like he’s frustrated. “I ended it for her. So she could be free–”

 “So you wanted her to be ‘free’,” Taehyung wiggles his fingers, air-quoting. “but not the kind of ‘free’ where she’s ‘free’ to make her own decisions?”

 “I–” Jeongguk’s mouth snaps shut. He flounders a little before he gives up and settles into a malcontent frown.

 “Do you see what I’m getting at?” Taehyung asks, his tone slightly parental again. Sounds mostly patient, if not, just edging on short.

 Jeongguk’s reply is headstrong silence.

 “You completely snubbed her and overlooked what she wanted to do what you wanted because you thought it was selfless and the right thing–”

 “I didn’t want to–”

 “But you must have?” Taehyung says, his palms open and gesturing in front of him like the proof is plain to see, like it’s right there on the empty table between them. He’s tried to stay patient, keep that calm tolerance. But he’s just over how dreadfully dense his friend is being. His tone is no longer just edging on short– Taehyung’s past that. It’s almost malicious and instigative when he snaps, “Because if you didn’t want to, Jeongguk, then why did you do it?” 

 Jeongguk’s nostrils flare slightly as he tries to not lash out as he counters, “I already told you–”

 “Yeah, you told me a whole bunch of bullshit excuses for not trying.”

 An offended, indignant gasp is the only comeback Jeongguk can give before Taehyung is ranting again, talking over him.

 “Okay,” His gestures go from exasperated to pacifying as he bares his palms to Jeongguk, almost like he’s surrendering. He’s not, of course, but he’ll admit that was a bit harsh. “As I said earlier, I get it. Like yeah. I get being hesitant, I get being scared. I get you feeling guilty for the way that things played out. Those are all totally valid feelings; ways to… act?” 

 Taehyung thinks, then grins when he comes up with a better word. “Those are all valid ways to behave in this situation.” He nods to himself as if he’s his audience and he’s encouraging himself because he’s giving the best speech known to man. 

 “But some emotions and behaviors are not valid in this situation. Entitlement, for one. It’s my opinion that you must have been emoting this quite generously considering how you were acting like it was your right to disregard her. Her feelings, her choices, her wants,” Taehyung points to a finger every time he lists something of yours that Jeongguk overlooked, and Jeongguk shirks in on himself a little more each time. In his head, he sniffs, turns his nose up at Taehyung’s opinion.

 “Self-righteousness. You know a lot. You may even know more, and better than her about certain things, but not all things. You don’t know everything. Jeongguk does not know what __ wants. Jeongguk does not know what is best for ___. Jeongguk may have an opinion on it, but only ___ knows that. What you think is right, isn’t always what is right. Consider what you were coming off as. As a pretentious, arrogant, self-righteous ass. And for what?”

 When Jeongguk parts his lips to speak, to at least try and defend himself, because jesus fucking christ, Taehyung interrupts him. 

 “For nothing. You’re not the standard.”

 “Alright–”

 “Pusillanimity.”

 Jeongguk purses his lips and allows himself to be talked over, once again, as he shifts feebly in his seat. Wonders when Taehyung's vocabulary became so extensive and mean.  

 “You’re allowed to feel scared, but you’re not allowed to behave like a pussy about it–”

 “I resent that–”

 “–as you should,” Taehyung says without missing a beat, smoothly transitioning back to what he was saying. “You’re being a coward, Gguk. Like point-blank. Taking the easy way out and pushing her away because you’re too afraid to take a risk. Because you don’t have the courage to choose her and try.” His expression is sad, dressed with muted disappointment, maybe a glimmer of pity. “And I guarantee that when you chose easy instead of choosing her– it hurt her. She’s the one you were trying to take care of, but she’s the one you ended up hurting. And you hurt yourself.”

 Taehyung can see how much self-inflicted pain Jeongguk brought on himself when he hurt you. He’s sure it hurt him in the moment too, but retrospectively, it’s written so transparently on Jeongguk’s face. Brows are pinched, mouth slightly parted, shallow exhales puffing out like Taehyung’s words knocked the wind out of him and he’s trying to catch his breath again.

 He shakes his head helplessly, whispers, “I didn’t mean to.”

 “I know you didn’t, and I think she probably knows that too,” Taehyung consoles. 

 He considers leaving it at that, not wanting to come off more lecture-y than he already has. Feels a little bad about being so hard on the younger, too. But he also feels like Jeongguk has so thoroughly convinced himself that he did the right thing. That Jeongguk has done such a good job of gaslighting himself, that he daftly believes ending things with you was for the best. That ending wasn’t just the only conclusion, but it was an unavoidable conclusion. 

 Taehyung wonders if maybe Jeongguk is the one that needs things broken down and spelled out for him to get that he could have done things differently. That if he made alternate choices, there could have been an alternate ending where he didn’t break his own heart. 

 “Jeongguk, you’re a such great dad to Nari. She’s never going to doubt how much you care or how important she is to you because loving her is the thing you're best at,” Taehyung waits just a second before he adds in a gentle voice, “But you’re not just a really great dad, and you’re allowed to prioritize and love other things… other people.”

 Jeongguk starts to shake his head, an argument on the tip of his tongue. Ready to tell Taehyung that of course he’s allowed to love other things and other people. He knows this.

 That wasn’t the issue with you. He knew that with time the desire he had for you likely would have blossomed into something more. If he chose to– he probably could have loved you. Could have kept you for himself, selfishly, just as he wanted to. He could have indulged in you, could have let himself be smothered in everything that came with you. He could have loved you eagerly, and he knows he could have loved you so perfectly. 

 Maybe. 

 With time, probably.

 If he was just a touch more greedy than he is, he might have allowed himself.

 The issue with you was that he got so immersed in and preoccupied with you that he lost sight of everything else. Let himself get distracted and act in ways that, as a father, he just couldn’t. So while he could have allowed himself to love you, he couldn’t allow himself to become irresponsible. He tells Taehyung as much. 

 “Gguk, that’s just what happens when you find something new to care about. It’s exciting and it feels good,” Taehyung explains gently, “You fuck up and end up making a few mistakes because you’re a little caught up and preoccupied. Your priorities get skewed because there’s something else that’s becoming important to you too, and you haven’t learned how to manage it.” 

 “And yeah, you might get selfish and a little consumed. Immersed. But that’s normal, not irresponsible, and you have to cut yourself some slack while you figure out how to make time for it and work it into your life.”

 There’s a glassiness gleaming in Jeongguk’s eyes, heavy tears welling until there’s just too many. The drops trek freely despite his efforts to keep them in, his cheeks sticky and salty, his nose runny and red, and his shoulders shaking as he attempts to stay collected. 

 It’s quiet and he stutters a little as he gets out, “I-it didn’t feel like this with D–” A deep, guilty shame makes it hard to get her name out.

 Jeongguk doesn’t even try to finish, persisting with, “I’m just s-scared I’m gonna fuck up again, like I did w-” A watery, frustrated groan cuts him off and he puts his hands over his face when he can’t finish his sentence again because of his cries. Like I did with Dasom. Like I’ve already done, and am still doing with you. 

 “Gguk,” Taehyung laughs, trying to lighten the mood, “There’s an adjustment period and it’ll take a bit of trial and error, but you’ll find a new balance.”

 “___ can be important to you at the same time that Nari is important to you at the same time that Dasom is important to you at the same time that you’re important to you. Caring about one thing doesn’t mean that you suddenly begin caring about another thing less. You just care about them in different ways.”

 Jeongguk is trying to compose himself, keeps taking those deep, slightly hiccupy, self-soothing breaths. Holding them in, before blowing them out harshly. Taehyung knows Jeongguk’s almost at his breaking point but he only has a bit left to say.

 “Maybe ___ didn’t know all of the stuff that comes with being with someone who has a kid, and an ex, and a past. Maybe she didn’t fully know what she wanted because of that. But you know what you should have done instead of pushing her away?” he asks gently, “You should have explained it to her. Told her the bad and the good. Because of course, it’s a lot; it’s really, really tough. But it’s also so rewarding, and a privilege.”

 Jeongguk is growing weepier with each passing minute, but he gives a sorry, sapped nod just to show Taehyung he’s listening. 

 “After explaining it to her, you should have given her time to think about it, weigh the pros and cons. You should have waited for her to make her own choice. Then you should have considered what would’ve been best for both of you, what would make you both happiest. From there, you should have decided on the next step together. And then you should have tried.”

 His leg is bouncing under the table and he twists one of the few rings on his fingers. He’s trying to keep his composure but the more Taehyung explains things to him, the more regretfully obtuse Jeongguk feels. 

 Because he very well might be all the things Taehyung said he was– but he is a good version of them. He swears it. And he knows it doesn’t really make sense; that it’s almost impossible to be a good type of entitled and self-righteous. That it’s not believable that his cowardly and pusillanimous actions came from a good place. But to him– they did. He knows what his intentions were, and he knows that they were so pure. That he did what he did because he cared about you. 

 Admitting he was scared, acknowledging that the fear he felt was pure cowardice, is the least he can do. 

 But in his defense, he just didn’t want to learn what it was to have you, just to end up losing you. He didn’t want to discover how it felt to be loved by you, only for that feeling to get replaced with your resentment. He didn’t want to wholly understand the bliss of you being with him when you were there and present, only to forget it once he came to understand the ache of you leaving; when you were gone. 

 Now, however, he sees that he fucked up. Can see how narrow-minded he was. How his actions, no matter the intent, didn’t come across the way he wanted. That the outcome didn’t go as he planned. 

 He’s able to recognize that if a plan can stray and an outcome can change– there can be infinite endings. Good ones, bad ones. Realizes that if pain is possible, so is bliss. Understands that sadness and happiness go hand in hand and that if there’s a chance for one, there’s a chance for the other. 

 It’s kind of black and white, all or nothing, one or the other in its own way. In a way that Jeongguk hasn’t fully grasped yet, but in a way that he wants to try and learn.

 The consequences of his actions and mistakes can be felt physically. It’s a visceral ache, an apologetic longing, an emptiness within him– and it seems like it never goes away. Like there’s this void inside of him that can’t be filled. Like an essential piece of him is lost and has gone missing, leaving a hollow vacancy behind his ribs until he finds it again. 

 He knows it’s melodramatic; that things end between people that care about each other, that they get over it, and that they move on. It happens all the time. Every single day. He knows– because he cared about Dasom, wanted her– and still, he watched his marriage fall apart right in front of him. 

 Jeongguk’s never compared you to her or her to you, and he doesn’t start now. But, he does liken the want; tries to differentiate between the way he wanted her and the way he wants you. 

 Because it’s the same feeling. Want. 

 But it’s distressing; so confusing because he can’t wrap his head around the same fucking feeling not feeling the fucking same. 

 It almost instills an anxious uncertainty within him; causes him to question himself a little because he believed he had a good understanding of what it is to want, of how it feels to desire. An understanding of what comes with all the feelings that are akin, too.​​ What it feels like to lust after, to crave, to yearn for, to long for, to wish for.

 But apparently, he doesn’t.

 Maybe never did.

 Because it seems that the only thing he’s sure of now, when it comes to want, is that wanting Dasom didn’t feel like wanting you does. With you –the want, the desire, the yearning– it’s so different.

 Come to think of it, Jeongguk wouldn’t be surprised if that novel distinction played a part in his hesitance; that it had something to do with why he pushed you away, why he chose to never let himself have you. 

 Somehow, you turned feelings he thought he truly understood into feelings that had a sense of ambiguity to them. Feelings that he was suddenly so unaccustomed to that they seemed almost alien –in that anxiety-riddled self-doubting way– because it felt like he had no experience with them, had no idea how to even begin to approach the different that was you. 

 Taehyung told him he was being a coward. And Jeongguk admitted that yes; he was being a coward. Internally confessed that he was scared to lose you. But as things are falling into place, finally clicking for him, he thinks that the cowardice might have also stemmed from a fear of having you because he didn’t know how to. 

 Because while you were fresh and exciting –making Jeongguk so brash and so eager– that newness subsequently made you so unlike what he was comfortable with and sure about –simultaneously making Jeongguk so reluctant and so scared. 

 Only because different is new and it’s strange and it can seem alienating. Different is simply unfamiliar and anything unfamiliar is always a little, maybe a lot scary. Naturally intimidating and unnerving. 

 He comes to the conclusion that it’s not a comparison. The want. It can’t be, really, because he has nothing to compare it to. He’s never known an appetency as unique as the one he has for you. 

 The varying wants he’s come across during his life and relationships can’t be compared, but they can be different. And they so clearly are, that Jeongguk’s inability to make sense of it is almost embarrassing. His friend telling him that it’s possible for him to care about things in different ways comes to the forefront of his mind. 

 “You can… want things… differently?” 

 Jeongguk feels stupid, so thickheaded because he’s asking for assurance and clarification about concepts that are supposed to be common sense. He wonders when he let his way of thinking get so off-kilter and how many preventable fuck-ups he’s made because of it.

 “Obviously and most definitely.”

 The sheer amount of thinking he’s had to do, and the inordinate number of thoughts he’s had to comb through are taunting him with a headache. Dull pounding edging at his psyche; his mental and emotional capacity almost running on empty. Yet, he’s not sure he could shut his mind off even if he wanted to. 

 He’s on the cusp of it. So close to putting the pieces together. On the brink of figuring out the riddle of you and him that seemed cruelly unsolvable; like a sick joke with no punchline.

 Jeongguk knows that he wanted Dasom. He knows what they had was good, fulfilling, and comfortable in its own way. But in that same breath, he knows that while it may have been good, it was never blissful; that it may have been fulfilling, but it never made him feel full; that even though it may have been comfortable, it never felt warm. He doesn’t regret it, but he doesn’t miss it either. He doesn’t want it anymore; hasn’t for what seems like ages.

 When it came to wanting you– Jeongguk didn’t know until he learned. 

 Of course, he knew that what you had was good. What he didn’t know was the extent of how good. Only when he determined that it was so good that it was sublime and unlike any mirth he’d known before, to a degree that he’d never felt before– only then did he learn that what he had with you was bliss. 

 He knew it was fulfilling. That being with you gave him what he needed. Scratched the itch, fed the hunger, served the purpose that a ‘fun and casual’ fling was meant to. But he didn’t know being with someone could be so abundantly and satisfyingly rewarding; until he learned that the fulfillment could reach excess; that he could become so full of you that he was overflowing. 

 He knew it was comfortable– what you had with him. But he didn’t know being with someone could be so serenely content, dreamily domestic– that it could make the comfort become something he could physically feel. Not until he learned that you were the embodiment of comfort; that when he touched you, what he was looking for became tangible. That when he touched you, he was touching the warmth that lived inside of you. 

 He didn’t know humans could be homes until he learned that sensations could be envied. 

 He didn’t know he would regret it; didn’t know he would miss you so much. He didn’t know that the different, unfamiliar, scary want would turn into this habitual, heartsick, delicate yearning.

 Jeongguk didn’t know anything until he learned.

 And he’s learned that he wants to try.

 ~~~

 A rough, choked sound sputters from his throat when he feels a few heavy thumps on his back.

 “There, there,” a voice consoles lazily.

 Jeongguk promptly breaking down and melting into a puddle of tears after admitting he fucked up and wants to try and get you back is enough for a tipsy Taehyung to move from his place across the table to the unoccupied one to the right of the younger. 

 He’s able to peer inside now, his back no longer to the house, and he sees Jimin. He looks a little worried, a wrinkle between his brows as his eyes flit between Taehyung and Jeongguk, who’s got his head down as he cries into his folded arms atop the table. 

 He shoos Jimin, and now Yoongi with a knocked out Solmi on his hip, away with a dismissive flick of his wrist, giving them a look that says: I’ve got this.

 With fingers digging into the sides of Jeongguk’s neck, in a supposed to be soothing way, Taehyung asks, “So what’s the plan, Gguk? Whatcha gonna do to get her back?”

 Another weeping sob is the response he gets.

 He nods to himself. “Right.”

 It’s quiet for a small blip of time before Jeongguk whines, “She never answered my text. She could be dead for all I know, like she could have gotten into a crash or something and it would be all my fault and–”

 “Have you seriously not looked her up to check on her?”

 “–she doesn’t have Facebook– and I would just have to live with that. And I would deserve to live with it. The guilt–”

 “Of course, she doesn’t have Facebook. She’s not ancient,” Taehyung explains with a roll of his eyes as he pulls out his phone from his pocket, “She probably uses Instagram or something. How do you spell her name?”

 Jeongguk’s perked up, his red eyes and splotchy face now curiously peeking over Taehyung’s arm. He quietly spells your name out loud and watches as the letters appear one by one in the search bar. A few profiles get tapped through before Jeongguk’s small, sharp inhale lets Taehyung know he found the right one. He willingly hands over the mobile.

 The account is public, but Jeongguk’s not sure if that’s better or worse as he takes in what your feed consists of. There’s an assortment of things; pictures of yourself, some with your roommates, a few scenery ones to break up the monotony. One or two of the small succulent he gave you.

 There are also some of him. Of Nari.

 He finds his thumb moving on its own, tapping on a photo of tiny hands with tiny painted nails.

 “Don’t accidentally double-tap; that likes the pic and we’re using Iseul’s account.”

 Jeongguk chuckles. “Why do you let your 8-year-olds have phones and social media?” he asks, turning to look at Taehyung, who is still looking at your account. “What happened to playing outside and reading books?”

 “Times are changing Ggukkie,” Taehyung muses, “Landlines hardly exist and I want to be sure that they can reach me, you know? Besides, it has parental controls… If you look at Iseul and Haneul’s followed accounts, it’s all just video game stuff and anime shit…” It’s quiet for just a second before he adds, “They could probably give you some cheat codes and tips since you’ve been spending so much fucking time on the PlayStation lately.”

 Jeongguk’s bony elbow digs into Taehyung’s bony ribs.

 After a small wince, Taehyung asks, “That’s Nari?”

 It’s phrased like a question, but to them, it’s obvious that it’s her. But to anyone else, they would have no clue that the baby is his daughter. The photo was taken from a higher-up angle; besides the baby’s little manicured hands, it’s just her baby-soft, wispy hair pinned back by a teeny pink barrette, and the chub of her rosy cheek visible. He thinks he recalls the day you took it. 

 You had just shown up at his place. No invite, no scheduled plans. 

 When he opened his door, he saw you standing there with your too-small hands holding a too-full make-up bag, and a too-big smile on your too-pleased face declaring that it was the perfect day for a Spa Day. 

 You were determined, and you left little room to argue. He didn’t, of course. But he wouldn’t have either. Not when you were right there on his doorstep, practically buzzing with how excited you had been. You were almost giddy; just so happy and eager to spend time with not only him but also his baby.  

 Jeongguk remembers sneaking little glances at the both of you while he dutifully cut the cucumbers you had asked him to. You were sat on the floor, criss-cross applesauce, and Nari was on the couch in front of you. She had her chunky, stout legs dangling off the edge and her round, little toes right in your face. 

 Bubble Guppies was on the television, so Nari was occupied and mostly still as you painted her nails a bright shade of corally pink. Messing up only once or twice. Just when the baby giggled and clapped her pudgy hands and when she squealed and kicked her plump feet. 

 By the time Nari was put down for the night and tucked snug as a little bug in her bed, you and she were twinning; your salon-done acrylics repainted in the same polish. He remembers clearly because he helped you with your weaker hand. 

 Also because somehow, he ended up matching as well. Funnily enough, you had managed to get him to agree to a single finger of his being painted as well. The pinky on his left hand. 

 Persuasion might have been a talent of yours. Your charmed kisses convinced him, as well as your rapt, eager touches. The conniving sweet-nothings you recited into his ear, were compelling, too. 

 Yeah, maybe you were persuasive. Or maybe Jeongguk was just easy. Always too weak for you. 

 His heart yanks in his chest at the memory and he forces himself to pause the mental replay before it stops being pure and starts being indecent. 

 Jeongguk’s eyes flicker down to the caption.

 spa day 💁‍♀️💅🏻👶🏻🐛👨🏻‍🍼

 He feels the slight shake of Taehyung’s body when he chuckles next to him, and the corners of his own lips turn up too as he opens the comments.

 flickthebinna: did u have a baby? 

ocstagram: not yet… 🤨🤰

flickthebinna: ?

 Heat crawls beneath his skin and his cheeks flush pink and Jeongguk can’t stop the clumsy, confusedly pleased laugh he lets out as he clicks back to your feed. 

 Despite the next picture he taps on being bleary, it’s evident that you’re in a car and that there is a palm resting on your thigh. 

 The car belongs to him, the familiar interior lights of his Mercedes glowing purple in the photo, the luxury logo on the steering wheel too well-known to be mistaken regardless of the quality– or lack thereof. So naturally, the hand on your leg belongs to him, as well. But like the photo of Nari, no one would know who’s hands are on you or who’s the owner of the car you’re in. Except for the person themself. Even the tattoos on his knuckles are indecipherable due to the poor resolution. The picture looks like it may have been taken on accident or while you were moving– grainy and pixelated and motion-blurred. 

 It’s captioned with a simple, eloquent: SKRRRR

 “What does that mean?” Jeongguk mumbles aloud, moving to the comments again.

 Taehyung hums next to him. “An onomatopoeia for the sound a car makes, I think.”

 He grunts in acknowledgment as he reads.

 jadedjade: that is a sugar daddy car if i ever seen one 🕵️‍♀️🧐

ocstagram: he’s not my sugar daddy 🙄🤚

ocstagram: he’s my best friend 😌👍

flickthebinna: ok but can he fight 

 Jeongguk finds himself smiling again, but this time it’s a little sad too. It was posted just a couple of months ago. Reminds him that regardless of how drawn out it feels like it’s been, in reality, you haven’t actually been away from him for that long at all. Makes him recall how quickly something good can go bad.

 “Alrighty!”

 The cellphone gets plucked from his hands by Taehyung, who’s sensed the change in ambiance. “I think that is enough checking in for tonight,” he says.

 Jeongguk doesn’t put up much of a fight, instead sighing and looking towards Namjoon’s place again. He’s not sure how much time has passed, but inside he sees it’s been long enough for the group to wind down. Almost everyone gathered in the living room, something playing on the tv. Probably one of the many Christmas movies that get played far too soon after Turkey Day. Hoseok’s got Nari on his lap, and one of the twins tucked into his other side.

 “I’m surprised Nari’s still awake,” he muses.

 “You know she’s fighting it, trying to hang with the big kids.”

 “Gonna be very grouchy in the morning,” Jeongguk groans. The annoyance is feigned though, and the smile in his voice gives him away.

 Taehyung laughs lightly for a moment before he’s yawning, his words jumbled and rolled together he tries to get out, “I’ll pull your Secret Santa name; let me take her for the night.”

 Jeongguk is an expert at understanding hard-to-decipher words, so he knows what was said and is quick to say no.

 “C’mon,” Taehyung presses, “Just for tonight. She’ll be fine, and you could use some time by yourself.”

 “I have time by myself every other week.” 

 “Touche…”

 It’s quiet for a couple of beats before Jeongguk is saying, “The answer is still no, but why do you think I could use some alone time?” 

 With shoulders brushing his ears, Taehyung shrugs. “You just worked through a lot of tough stuff. The alone time could be a good opportunity to sort through everything.”

 Jeongguk hums. 

 “You could start thinking about what you’re going to do about ___. What the first step is, what you’re gonna say.” 

 Taehyung takes a second to look at Jeongguk’s profile. It’s quick, and the latter attempts to keep his face neutral, but the tense way the corners of his lips pull down isn’t missed.  Jeongguk can’t mask the hesitant unease, and Taehyung has enough social awareness to pick up on it and know that it probably means that Jeongguk might not be ready for that just yet.

 “Or… Or you could… cry yourself to sleep?” he tries. He thinks for a split second before he decides to run with it. “I know you’ve like– been crying, but if you were alone? You could really let go, you know? Wouldn’t have to hold back like you’ve been trying to.”

 Taehyung is met with an expression that is not only unconvinced but also unamused. 

 He is nothing if not resilient, though. “Or you could even jerk off to that video you have of the both of you! You could moan, Gguk. Loud.”

 “Oh– I don’t– the video um, I haven’t–” Jeongguk sputters, trying to deny the use of said video. His hands waving to and fro a bit, hectic. An uncomfortable tinge to his features.

 It’s true, though. He doesn’t use it. Hasn’t even once since the fight. He figures he might as well delete the video. It makes sense, especially if he doesn’t watch it. Figures it should have already been deleted. That would have been the right thing to do. Figures he’s only human, too.

 “I did not ask, and I do not want to know. Nor do I care,” Taehyung interrupts, “Just think about it, though. A loud, lewd, lascivious, lecherous jer–”

 Almost like he forgets his momentary embarrassment, Jeongguk’s expression veers straight from uncomfortable to unbelievably judgemental. If the look on his face could speak, it would be telling Taehyung that he is stupid. “I can literally jerk off –loudly– 2 weeks out of the month. Are you daft?”  

 “Intelligence is subjective,” Taehyung’s bony fingers flick outward dismissively, “But my insistence is not! C’mon, don’t be selfish,” he pouts for emphasis, “If I take Nari tonight, I can use her to get the boys to sleep early. Can pull the old ‘baby’s bedtime is everyone’s bedtime’ card.” 

 Jeongguk presses his lips firmly together, fighting a smile, but they quirk up at the corners in spite of himself. “You’re a bad dad.”

 Taehyung grins back, mischievous. He makes his voice stern and comically parental. “ ‘We all have to sleep when the baby sleeps. We don’t want to wake her up and ruin her dreams, do we?’ ”

 They laugh softly together before it naturally dies off, the atmosphere back to being more or less mellow and light. 

 “I know you, Gguk,” Taehyung starts, “And I know that you don’t need a break. But I also know that a break wouldn’t hurt. Might even do you some good. Sneak away now while she’s occupied,” he encourages, “You know she’ll cry if you say bye.”

 Jeongguk frowns as he feels himself giving in. Admitting that he is tired. Considering that it might be nice to be able to go home and head straight to bed without the time-consuming dad routine. He loves it, of course, and he’ll miss doing it– but after the night he’s had? He feels a little bad but tries to soften the guilt by thinking about what Taehyung said. The thing about him being important to himself, too. 

 He looks back to the house again, eyes scanning till they land on his baby. She’s slumped, clearly tired and he thinks she may be asleep already but then Nari yawns, a tiny balled-up fist coming up to rub at her eye.

 Jeongguk smiles, soft and wistful. Before his brows are furrowing and he’s turning back to his friend with an appalled, accusatory glare. Taehyung’s previous heartfelt advice coming to mind reminds him of something else his friend said. Something less heartfelt.

  “Wait– the video? How did you–?”

~~~

The feel of his bedding brushing against his skin makes him shiver. Causes frissons– excited little chills blooming all across his body. He kicks, trying to maneuver the sheet down and down until it’s off of him. Repeats the actions once more but with his briefs, now. Down and down until they’re off of him and he’s bare.

 Jeongguk’s home is quiet. A little cold. 

 This time, it’s the brisk, air-conditioned draft in his bedroom that creates those chills. The bumps are small, just barely raised. Could only be seen by someone who looked at him closely enough; felt by someone who touched him aptly enough. 

 His exhales are stuttered and sharp as his body trembles; the constant tremor is faint, almost imperceptible, and caused by the lust simmering just under his skin. His lashes kiss the highs of his cheeks as he blinks his eyes shut; a worthless attempt at grounding himself. His lips grow damp as the pink of his tongue darts over them quickly; something he naturally does when he gets worked up like this.

 His thoughts are running rampant as he thinks about all the unintentional things he’s doing, all of the visceral reactions he’s having. About those bumps on his skin. 

 Jeongguk thinks about how the restless waver of his breathing and the overwhelmed fluttering of his lashes and the antsy way he’s licking over his lips and the minute, barely-there texturing of his skin– how all of those things are just little ways that what’s inside of him is coming out; how it’s becoming. 

 It shows how intense and how keen the arousal stirring within him truly is. So charged and carnal that it’s emerging as actions that are eager and visible; as reactions that are hot and tangible. So real it can be seen; touched.  

 Going straight home and straight to bed– that was Jeongguk’s intention. He swears it; swears he was just so tired. Swears that he almost bypassed doing his skincare and brushing his teeth completely in favor of succumbing to tiredness. Swears was so truly drained from the night and from how much he ended up missing you, thinking about you. And from how, at some point during the night, missing and thinking meshed until they blurred into exhaustion. 

 Sleep was supposed to have been instantaneous. As soon as he laid down in his too-big, too-empty bed inside of his quiet, cold home– he was supposed to have been down for the count. 

 But his home is as lonely as it is quiet.

And lonely people do lonely things.

They think lonely thoughts that are actually just memories of times when they weren’t lonely at all.

Jeongguk doesn’t think he ever felt lonely with you.

And he wants you as much as he misses you.

His fingers shake with it as he finally wraps a hand around himself. Cock laying flat on his tummy, heavy and hot. It’s dark in his room, but he’s flushed probably. Leaking definitely. 

 The tip of his tongue swipes over his lips again before he nibbles on the inside, contemplative as he rubs his index finger on the wet head, teasing. Pulls the plump of his bottom lip between his teeth completely; makes a conscious effort to stay aware enough to not gnaw them raw. But in the back of his head, he knows it’s for naught. When he wakes up tomorrow it will be with red bitten lips and a guilty conscience. 

 Hell, Jeongguk’s guilty now.

 Everything about him depicts it. 

 His mannerisms are already cloaked in shame and it’s only just started.

 From the way he turns his face into his shoulder when he finally completes that first, full stroke. Foreskin dragging when his hand goes from tip to base. The soft thump of the outside of his fist hitting his lower belly sounds so loud– vulgar in the hushed space. 

 To the way he squeezes his eyes shut so tightly that small white spots begin to come and go in the dark– as if he thinks he might be able to block out all of the sordid things he’s imagining if he tries hard enough.

 Twisting on the upstroke has him rolling his lips between his teeth before he ends up parting his mouth and voicing the softest, most sweet-sounding sighs. The lilting breaths are pretty and whiny even to Jeongguk’s own ears and he feels himself grow warm with a flush. 

 When the tip of his cock spits out a few heavy drops of precum so soon, he gets almost flustered. His demure, wanton sighs quickly shift to meek, bashful whimpers.

 Because it’s embarrassing. Just how fast the mere thought of you gets him going; so hot and so bothered. 

 The pace of his palm is fast, pumping up and down the length of his cock. Instinctually chasing that high as slick clicking noises get louder, audibly mixing with his moans, the rustling of his movements. The first hint of that telltale heat flickers in his lower belly faster than he expects and faster than he hopes. 

 He doesn’t want it to end already. Reasons that if he’s going to give in to this again –into getting off with nothing but the thought of you to finish him, into stomaching the consequential regret that comes after he cums– he wants it to at least be worth it. Wants to milk it and make the pleasure last as long as possible. 

 So he clings to his last bit of self-indulgent resolve. Takes his hand off and moves it away. 

 Precum’s just pouring from the slit when his cock snaps back to his tensed belly; leaking enough that the pink head makes a lewd slap when it hits his skin. He’s hard enough that the tip rests just below his belly button. 

 Jeongguk lays still for a few, letting the needy ache in his gut settle as he puffs out soft pants. Trails his nails lazily over his skin; a gesture that taunts him as much as it gets him ready. Warming him up for his own touch again.

 He’s sifting through his memories of you when he gives in and allows himself just a few small squeezes over his length. His grip tight and pulsing. Not quite edging, but… playing. Indulging maybe; sating moreso. 

 Trying to take the edge off just enough to prolong the pleasure and drag it out as he thinks back to the time he got you off with just his hand in your panties, his fingers toying with your clit. 

 It was sleepy and slow, soft in the way that morning playtime always was with you. Him returning the favor; taking care of you after you took care of him. 

 Started with him quietly reminding you of how good you made him feel the night before. Him sweetly kissing praise into your still-warm-with-sleep skin. Finished with you rocking into his touch until you came quietly for him. You remembering to thank him after, your words whispered sweetly in an airy, far-away tone.

 Jeongguk begins to stroke gently then. Just lightly touching with only his fingertips as he thinks some more. Until he ends up lingering on the first time he had you. 

 The memory prompts another shame-riddled rush to surge through him. He recalls how he braced himself on the newly-decorated wall behind him when you pressed your hand against him, his hips rutting and grinding into your small palm. How the wall supported him while he finished so quickly, too quickly. How it held him up while he came, making such a mess in his pants. 

 Recalls how you had to brace yourself on the same wall when he got down on his knees for you and tasted your cunt for the first of many times, his lips sucking and his tongue licking. How the wall supported you, just like it did him, while you squirmed so impatiently, so greedily. How it held you up while you came, just like it did him, making such a mess of him all over again

 The paint on the wall behind you had barely had enough time to dry. Was wet still on the opposite side of the room. 

 The opposite side of his daughter’s room. 

 God, it’s sick. So perverse and deviant and just wrong, but there’s something to say about how badly he must have wanted you. How terribly he must have needed you to take you like that, in that setting. 

 Then Jeongguk’s letting go. Letting his thick, engorged length drop to his abdomen.

 The heavy way his cock flops back down when he eases the tension in his hold– it doesn’t really hurt… it’s not exactly painful when it thumps against his tensed tummy again. It feels more like a muted, dull pang in his cock. Almost pleasant? It feels good if anything– but the general sensation reminds him of a time he ached. A time when his cock actually did hurt. 

 It’s the time he had you at his work, against his desk. After you had him in his office chair. 

 Jeongguk can’t stop his cock from kicking and twitching when shivers run down his body– it’s a natural reaction, mostly. Kind of like how his hands going up to tweak his nipples is mostly a natural reaction, too.

 You had asked him before– if there had ever been a time when he was too worked up, if he’d ever felt so good that it became too good, if you could be the one to make him that way. It was an offhand, spur-of-the-moment comment; he figured it was just dirty talk. Nothing more than racy words spoken to turn an already heated phone call into one that was even hotter. 

 So he went along with it and told you that no, he hadn’t ever been too worked up or felt too good. Humored you and promised that yes, the first one to ever make him feel so good that it was too good, too much, could be you.

 Then the phone call ended, and he hung up, and he pretty much forgot about it

 Until now, that is. 

 Something’s got him stuck on that conversation and something’s got him linking it back to that time in his office. 

 He wonders if maybe that wasn’t just you ‘getting back at him’ for the work party because you were ‘mad at him’. Wonders if making him ask permission, getting him to beg, riding him till he came, not stopping even after he did… was really you trying to live out the phone call. 

 Was that the first time he felt so good that it was too much? That it hurt?

 But as soon as he entertains the possibility, he has second thoughts. Reconsiders and thinks about how that might have been nothing. Yeah it was too much, and it hurt, but he has no clue what you meant by wanting to ‘take care of him’ or ‘have your way with him’. That time in his office could have just been the beginning, just you going easy on him, barely anything.  

 A soft moan he can’t hold back colors the air.

 What would have happened if he hadn’t been able to break those cuffs and get the upper hand back?

 Would you have kept going? Was that your intention all along? Did he ruin your plan when he got his hand around your neck? What would it have felt like if you had just kept going and going and–

 Jeongguk must have subconsciously moved his hand from toying with his nipples back to stroking his cock because he doesn’t remember choosing to do so. But he doesn’t correct himself and he doesn’t stop either because he’s jerking his cock fast– just as fast as his heart is pounding and it feels so nice. So fucking nice that he thinks it’s gonna make him cum.

 And he wants to cum, but he knows he wants it to last more.

 So he tries to keep himself together with a tight squeeze at the base of his cock before he pulls his hand away. His cock throbs, jumps slightly before pulling tight to his belly.  

 He’s worked up so he’s squirming a little and taking deep breaths that come out a little shaky. His hands are shaky too when he brings them above his head to tug at the pillow underneath him just to keep them off of his body.

 Would it have just kept hurting? If you had kept going? Would it have just kept getting worse until it became too much? Or would it have started to feel good again? Even better maybe? 

 Jeongguk’s fingers dig into the down of the pillow, and he turns his head into his arm trying to muffle his whine. His hips pull down, dipping into the mattress before slowly rolling into the air, into nothing. The breaths he pants against his bicep are hot, and when he sinks his teeth into the meat of it he does it hard enough for it to hurt just a hint.

 Because fuck– he doesn’t think he’s ever been this affected. 

 Sure he’s been horny, worked up, turned on. Whatever. 

 But bucking into nothing? Whining like he’s in heat? Trembling and leaking and entertaining things that had never even crossed his mind before? 

 No, he’s never lost himself in lust enough for that to happen.

 It seems there’s a first time for everything, however. 

 And maybe that’s what it is. Having a first with you. Trying something new for the first time, learning new ways to please, and make each other feel good. You being his only experience, and him being yours. Knowing each other in ways that nobody else does. 

 There’s a newfound urgency to the way he makes a move for his cock again. A flawed clumsiness to the way his fingers stumble when they get caught on his sticky skin due to his haste. An almost inexperienced awkwardness to the way he fumbles when can’t seem to get a good grip on himself due to his eagerness. 

 Because the way his heart starts pounding faster in his chest, and the way he has to grip at the base of his cock and keep himself in check again is so telling and oh, he’s so sure that’s what’s got him like this. Sweaty and wanton, antsy in his too-big, empty bed with one hand pumping his dribbling cock, and the other reaching between his legs to palm at his balls, his fingers reaching down farther to press and rub against his taint. 

 Yeah, he was worked up before; his memories of you enough to get him hard and panting. But they weren’t enough to shake that guilt. 

 When he started to wonder, though? When he got curious enough to flirt with the idea of you being the first one to make him feel so good, that it was too good, till it was too much? When he began to fantasize about it? That’s when he got shameless. 

 As soon as he cums, so will the guilt. That’s a given and he’s well aware. But right now, the want is making him feel almost feverish, depraved and he’s touching himself with hands that are so greedy, so self-serving. Unblushingly selfish for his pleasure as he imagines it’s you touching him.  

 “Ah– nngghhh, fuck–” he gasps, but it’s soft. His voice breathy and faint.

 In his head, you’re being a little mean. Your hand on his cock is loose, teasing, and lazy. Giving him just enough to feel like he needs to cum, but not enough to make him cum. 

 “It’s okay,” you tell him, “you can use me, make yourself cum…”

 It sounds sweet because it’s you, but even that is laced with something snide. It’s almost mocking. And his head is spinning because it mirrors so many of the times he’s had you, but it’s so different because right now, in his head, you’re the one that’s deciding, controlling. Telling him when its okay to cum, how to cum, letting him cum. 

 His fist is loose, just like yours is in his head, and he fucks up into it, his foreskin dragging with every push and pull. The fingers of his other hand are still toying with his hole, grazing the cinched muscle every time his hips rock into his hand, but he’s trying to mimic the way he thinks you would play with him; his touch deliberately gentle, a little curious. 

 When he’s just rocking his hips, the rhythmic brushing over his taint and his hole is teasing. But when he starts to get eager and needy and begins fucking his hand faster, the sensation is almost constant– feels so good paired with his thrusts, his thoughts.

 And Jeongguk’s gonna fucking cum. So close after all the teasing and edging and playing with himself that he’s done– its inevitable, now. His balls pulled tight and his cock rock hard in his hand. Wet and drippy and swollen and so sensitive.  

 His body is so tense that he’s shaking, his sweaty chest flushed and heaving stuttery inhales as he works for it. 

 “Oh my god– please–” Jeongguk pleads softly with himself, his body. You. His voice is laced with a desperation he’s never heard before. 

 The burst of precum that shoots from the head is enough to know that he’s there, that he couldn’t stop it now, even if he wanted to. He feels that pull in his lower belly, and his cock fattens up even more, gets even harder and Jeongguk knows its flushed such an angry shade of pink. And fuck it’s such a steady build-up. When he thinks it feels good it just gets better. 

 “Yes, yeah–” he pants.

 Jeongguk’s mouth parts in a small ‘o’, and his brows knit together and his eyes are squeezed shut so tight and if he concentrates he can picture you– can visualize your tiny hand wrapped around him bringing him closer and closer. Can imagine how focused you are as you go between looking at his face and his cock. Can almost hear your voice in his ear when you tell him that he was so good, that he can cum.

 He’s able to get out a choked, “Cumming, I’m cumming–” before finishes. His body convulses, curling in on himself a little more each time his cock jerks, shooting hot, thick stripes of white up his abs. His orgasm gives him that spacey high, makes him almost lightheaded from how satisfying it is. 

 But lately, getting off is nothing if not a routine. 

 Jeongguk feels a very specific and familiar type of heaviness as he pats around to find his briefs, does a half-assed job of cleaning himself up with them. Then he moves to the other side of his bed where the sheets are cooler and not damp with sweat. Cuts the routine short with a dry-swallowed sleeping pill. 

~~~

hey... long time no see... am i right... anyway yeah im probably knocked out w a sleeping pill too right about neow bc i am sooo scared about posting this :)) gah v nervewracking i must say... ik it was a bit wordy but i just rly wanted to explain why jk did what he did n his thought process for it n yeah </3 hoping to have part 2 (oc pov/reconciliation <3) out in the next couple weeks, am like halfway done w it....  anyway i rly hope u liked it!! pls pls pls like, reblog, comment, send an ask if u did~~ eager to know what u guys thought n would love to hear from u okayyy bye! 

#jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #jungkook #jungkook fic #bts #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts x reader #jungkook x oc #jungkook x you #jungkook fic recs #jungkook oneshot #jungkook series #bts jungkook #jungkook imagines #jungkook scenarios #jungkook angst #kpop #kpop fanfic

[aajjks]

The Conqueror (XX)

Synopsis: He had conquered everything, anything but your heart.

Pairings: Yandere!King Jungkook x Commoner!servant Reader.

warnings. yändërê bëhäv*öür, töxīc!jk, öbsëssïön, mänhändlïng, mëntïöns öf cryïng, mürdêr, mïnd gämës, ässh*lë jungkook. D-RK THËMËS ÂHÊÂD.

series masterlist.

note. plz hi, forgive me for the delay xx send asks for tc characters, send feedback n ENJOY!

taglist: @mageprincess7 @starsggukk @sprinkleoftee @koremis @minshookie29 @sana-b @bangtannoonalvg @oonaaurora @jeonsweetpea @sugaslittlekookies @outro-kook @kthyg @lunaashes @debicaptain-saturn @laurynne5 @captainsjoongs @myblackconfessions @lanalanexpjm @namjooncrabs @shadowmoon21 @kookunot @natalie-rdr @angelicasdre @iwasfuckinginnocentonce @mermaidtea @foulnightharmony @ungodlyjoon @quechulitaaa @telepathytae @silversparkles11 @j3alous-ang3l @bunzom @1-in-abillion @breadgeniedope @jiminie-08 @artgukk @lovesthetword @bunijmin @pinkcherrybombs @afangirllikeme-blog @twilight-love-nochu-main @wedarkacademia @hollxe1 @bighitfics @darkuni63 @golden-thv @investedreader @sweetempathprunetree @koocreampie (I can’t tag anymore people, it’s full 😭😭)

Jungkook hides his face into your neck and clutches your body tightly, not giving you any time to think about what’s happening, all you can hear and feel is his panicked breath and his tight hold on your body.

You’re freaking out as your brain slowly starts to process what’s happening, his body feels too hot so close to yours, he’s burning.

“W-What’s wrong, what a-are you doing here?” You try to move away from him but the large man doesn’t let you, you tilt your head back to look at him, and you can’t help but gasp.

He’s crying.

A monster like him is crying.

“Y-YN!” He cries out your name, looking at you with his red tear filled eyes, you cannot understand how can someone so cruel like him look so vulnerable like this, the expression on his face almost pulls at your heartstrings.

“I-I need you!” Jungkook can barely manage to speak coherent words, his voice is thick with emotion, you don’t want to look at him. He disgusts you.

But his eyes are begging you, you find it hard to keep your composure from becoming weak, you try to get his hands away from you, but he only pulls you closer to him.

“Let me go.” You demand, “I can’t help you.” You turn your gaze away from him, fate is too cruel, how can you even feel bad for the man who’s responsible for your ruin, for your family’s death?

You should be happy to see him like this, because the only thing he deserves is pain.

But yet, a small part of you is urging you to listen to him,

“NO! You need t-to comfort me YN!” You turn again to glare at him as the small glimmer of sympathy dies down within you, his tone is demanding and he’s looking at you like you’re some heartless monster.

The audacity of him.

How can he even demand your care, your comfort when he doesn’t deserve it, you want to strangle him, you wish you could but you’re not too brave.

You can’t kill him, even if you want to. Because you’re not like him, you’re not a killer. “No, get away from me, your majesty.” You whisper, trying your best to conceal your anger.

His gaze turns angry soon at that, oh oh looks like you’ve pissed him off. Good for you.

He deserves it.

“What d-did you say? HUH?” Jungkook glares daggers into your face, he gets up and pins you to your bed, putting your hands above your head, you immediately start struggling against him, he doesn’t deserve anything! Jungkook pushes his knee between your struggling legs and growls.

“Get away from you huh? NEVER!” He knows you’re not strong enough to stand up for yourself against him, “fucking heartless bitch!”

You hate him so much.

He’s crazy, selfish and incredibly self entitled. How could he expect you to ever love him or accept him as your future husband.

“LET ME GO YOU PSYCHO!” You spit at him, “I fucking hate you so much, you ruined my life!” You hate how he treats you, you’re not an object that he can play with however he wants to.

He needs a reality check.

“You hate me because of HIM! Don’t you? That fucking bastard better be burning in hell!” You bite the inside of your cheek, “I HATE YOU BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Jungkook starts to laugh, your heartbeat is rapid, your throat feels so scarify and dry, and this maniac on top of you is busy laughing.

“O-Oh wow…” he breathes, you can see his teeth clearly, his mouth is so wide with the way he’s laughing, you start to feel concerned.

Jungkooks laughter is uncontrollable, and he’s trapped you. You wish that he would let you go, forget about you, but when you look at him? You know well he’s never going to leave you.

Only if you die, but he wouldn’t leave you even in death.

There is no escaping him.

“I wonder how much you’ll hate your precious father if I told you the truth about him, eh baby?” He taunts you, the tears in his eyes are still there, glossing over his eyes but he’s smirking at you.

His words surprise you, is this one of his mind games? What does he mean by that? “W-What do you mean?!” You feel hot tears gather, he’s so cruel, “answer m-me!” Your voice breaks pathetically.

You know he’s enjoying this, Jungkook frees on his hands to touch your cheek, caressing the skin tenderly, he swipes his thumb across the liquid that falls from your eyes, not responding to you.

Asshole!

“Not now baby. Maybe another day, or..” he looks at you intensely, inhaling a deep breath, he’s got you holding your breath, you feel so sick.

“I’ll tell you about it on our wedding night. yes. So I hope you’re looking forward to us getting married, because I am.” He presses a kiss on your cheek.

“Now I’ve got to leave.”

A tear escapes your eye as he climbs off you, relief doesn’t come. All you feel is pain as you hear the king’s footsteps become distant.

Attending the royal court was the most boring part of Jungkooks life, all he wanted to do was spend time with you, talk to you, and lay in your embrace.

But he knew today was really important, so he decided to attend, it was exciting. Even if he was exhausted.

Jungkook walked in with authority as the court’s doors opened, he cringed as the voice of the head guard graced his ears,

He was being too loud and Jungkook was sleep deprived.

But everyone needed to know that their King was here.

“Stand attentive, 주상 전하 [Jusang jeonha] of Jeon Dynasty is entering the 왕실 [wangsil]”

Jungkook walked into the huge hallway, looking around to notice all the governors and political figures standing up, bowing their heads to him.

He smirked.

“I am here to announce a very important matter, but before I go ahead. I do not want anyone’s opinions or opposition.” He sits down on his throne, and makes sure to assert his authority.

The voices of the people agreeing echo and he nods, “I intend on marrying.”

The gasps of surprise don’t bother Jungkook in the slightest, “Yes. And my bride is going to be chief consort L/N Y/N.”

Governor Lim stands up abruptly and Jungkook is quick to notice that, he clenched his fist as he watches the old man’s expressions.

He is in the mood to kill someone today. Maybe it’ll be governor Lim.

“Yes, Governor Lim?”

“Pyeha!” (폐하) the old man bows his head down, “L/N isn’t of Nobel blood, I would like to apologise for my words but you as a king can’t possibly marry a- “YES I CAN GOVERNOR, are you just mad that it’s not Lim Moon I wish to marry?”

Jungkook traces his finger on the thrones patterns, “sit down, old man. Or… I’ll make sure you and your whore of a daughter lose your head if you object to my marriage.”

He gives the cowering man a cruel smile, “like I said, no objections.”

#jungkook smut #jjk smut #bts smut #yandere bts #yandere jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts x reader #jungkook ff #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fanfiction #bts fic #jungkook fic #yandere jjk #jjk fluff #jjk angst #jungkook angst #jungkook au #yandere au #yandere x darling #yandere smut #jeongguk smut #jeongguk #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #yandere kpop

[wh0re43van]

Baby fever Pt 3 (Evan Peters X Reader)

Summary: Theres been tension between you and Evan for months due to your struggle to conceive. You guys decide to go out for a nice dinner to get your mind off of things.

Word Count: 3.4K

Warnings: mentions of wine?, small argument?

A/N: I’m sorry guys I thought I uploaded this like two hours ago 😭 this will probably be the last part of this little series <3

Pt1 , Pt2

It’s been about three months since Evan and I have started trying for a baby. We know that it takes time, but that doesn’t take the sting out of the 10 negative tests we’ve gotten.

I sigh, resting my head on the window glass as I see the elementary kids at the bus stop awaiting their ride to school. A few are chasing each other, a pair of kids are sat down on the sidewalk as they share the same set of earbuds, and one kid stands quietly as they hold their backpack close to their chest. The warm hues of the morning sunrise cascades down on the group of tiny people. Orange and pink sun rays bounce of their coats, hats, and laughs that come out as puffs of condensation.

I smile to myself as I hold my herbal tea up to my lips, the steam coming from the beverage fogging up the cold window. I imagine what Evan would look like as he walks our child to the bus stop. What kind of silly dad pajama bottoms and stained hoodie set would he take our child out in. The image of Evan holding our little one’s hand makes my heart swell.

The click of the deadbolt unlocking grasps my attention. I turn to see Evan walking through the door with a few bags of groceries. He gives me a small smile as he sets the shopping down on the table.

“I still think it’s a bit early for grocery shopping,” I giggle as I pull him into a loose hug. He rests his head on top of mine, his hand instinctively twirling my hair.

“I know. I’ve been up since 5:00 am so I figured I might as well get up and do something,” he sighs. Evans been more beaten up about this than I imagined. I’ve tried to explain to him that it takes time, and you have to wait at least 3 weeks before you can get a positive result, but he doesn’t care much to listen. He’s just so ready to be a dad; to have that little bundle of joy in his arms. He already has so much love for a child that hasn’t yet been conceived.

“Would you like some coffee?” I ask as I look up at him with a small smile.

“That would be very nice,” he grins, leaning down to place a small kiss to my lips. I turn, reaching for the coffee grounds as he unloads the groceries.

“What did you get?” I ask curiously.

“Oh just some staple foods we were running low on: peanut butter, bread, butter…” he explains as he put each item away in their rightful home. “Oh and I found these pregnancy tests that let you know a week early!” He beams as he shuffles over to me, pulling six ‘Clear Blue’ pregnancy tests out of the canvas shopping bag.

“Evan,” I giggle, looking at him in confusion. “Why did you get so many?” I ask as I pour the fresh brewed coffee into his favorite mug.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know. Just want to be prepared I guess,” he shrugs before turning back to the shopping bags. “Oh y/n look at this,” he says excitedly. I turn, handing him his coffee when I see the little bear onesie in his hand. “Isn’t this just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?” He asks genuinely, the biggest, goofiest smile on his face and pure joy glinting in his eyes. This man melts my heart.

“It’s adorable,” I giggle, walking over to examine the outfit. It’s a brown, fleece, hooded onesie with bear ears and bear feet attached. I notice that its size newborn, but I don’t have the heart to tell him that even if I were pregnant right now, the baby would get here in August and we would have no use for this winter outfit. I just smile to myself and kiss him on the cheek before walking back over to the coffee pot to prepare my own drink.

“Woah! Is that caffeine free?” Evan asks urgently as he sets his mug down, spilling a bit before he rushes to me.

“Uh, no?” I look at him confused. He takes the coffee out of my hand.

“I read online that you shouldn’t consume caffeine while pregnant,” Evan explains. I raise my eyebrows at him.

“Okay… well I’m not pregnant yet,” I try to laugh it off and grab the pot out of his hand. He yanks it back, holding it up and out of my reach. “Y/n I’m serious. It’s not good for you or the baby,” he furrows his brows. I can feel my blood pressure start to rise out of anger.

“There is no fucking baby, Evan! I took another test a few days ago, and guess what? It came out negative just like all of the other ones! So please give it a rest!” I shout, surprising myself at how aggressive that came out; I guess I was holding that back for a while. Evan takes a step back, betrayal creeping into his face.

“There is no need to shout,” he says lowly, gritting his teeth. He doesn’t break eyes contact with me as he sets the coffee pot down. I know I’ve angered him. He has this calm demeanor when he’s pissed off; He never raises his voice or puts his hands on anyone, but when he’s mad the look in his eyes will strike the fear of god into you.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I furrow my brow back at him. I’m not sure where this sudden anger came from, but now I can’t stop it. Now that I think about it, there’s been a bit of tension between us after the first few negative tests. It’s almost like he gets upset with me every time we find out that I’m not pregnant. I’m sure he doesn’t mean it that way and that he doesn’t blame me for our struggle to conceive, but I can’t help the thought from creeping in.

“You’re the one that snapped on me out of no where,” he says sternly, clenching his jaw. “Come on, what’s your problem? You’ve been cold towards me for months,” he asks seriously. I scoff, feeling my ears burn red.

“Me? Evan you’re the one that won’t talk to me for the rest of the fucking day every time that goddamn stick only has one fucking line!” I scream, not believing what I’m hearing come out of his mouth. He steps closer to me, intimidating me with his proximity. There’s no need for him to shout; He knows his glare speaks much louder.

“I’m going to our room. Come talk to me once you’ve calmed down,” he says through tight lips before silently walking away. I let out a frustrated sigh, pushing a box of frozen waffles off the counter as I flop down on.

‘I’m a fucking idiot’ I kick myself. We needed to talk about these feelings, but it’s just been so tense between us. The past few weeks I’ve been so emotional and there’s just been a tension hanging between Evan and me.

I sigh, standing up straight then finish putting the groceries aways. I decide to make Evan pancakes from scratch as a poor apology.

About an hour has passed and I’m taking the last pancake off the stove as footsteps sound down the hallway.

“You never came to talk,” I hear Evans’ sad voice as he comes around the corner.

“Well, I thought I would make you breakfast first,” I give him a small smile. Guilt rushes over me when I look into his eyes that are glistening with sadness. ‘How could I have yelled at him like that,’ I think to myself as he looks at me like a disappointed puppy. “Evan I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. I’ve just been so on edge lately. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that… I know you’re just excited for the baby, but I feel like I’m disappointing you,” I sigh I pull two plates out of the cabinet. Evans hands quickly wrap around my waist, pulling me into a hug.

“You could never disappoint me, y/n,” he says sweetly, placing a kiss on top of my head. “I just got a bit carried away, I’m sorry. All I’ve been thinking about is starting a family; I don’t mean to put any pressure on you.” he says genuinely as he rubs his hands on my back.

“I love you, Evan,” his words make tear up but I keep my head pressed against his chest so he can’t see. He always manages to melt my heart with his kind words.

“I love you baby,” he pulls away to look at me. “Why don’t we go to that Italian place you like for dinner? We can have a nice night out to destress,” he offers with his award-winning smile. I sniffle, nodding my head.

“I’d love that,” I say with a grin. He grabs my hand, placing a kiss on top before helping himself to the pancakes on the table.

•

•

The rest of the day went pretty smooth. We didn’t speak of the baby at all, just spent some time together; it was lovely.

I get ready for our date, picking out a simple black dress. I slip it on and examine myself in the mirror. A frown creeps onto my face when I see my reflection, suddenly feeling insecure. As if on cue, Evan walks into the room sporting nothing but a pair of black slacks.

“You know, that’s one of my favorite dresses on you,” he says sweetly. I watch him through the mirror as he lays down on our bed, propping his head up on his hand to admire me.

“I was about to change. I feel like you can see how bloated I am in it,” I scoff, turning to look at him. He sits up from the bed, drawing his brows down.

“Y/n you look stunning. What the hell are you talking about?” he asks in disbelief. I trudge over to him, plopping down and resting my forehead on his bare shoulder.

“I don’t know,” I sigh honestly. “I just feel like I’ve been swollen and bloated for the past few weeks and it’s not even time for my period,” I groan into his arm. He chuckles, placing a warm hand on back.

“You need to be nicer to yourself. You look just as beautiful-if not more- than the first time I ever saw you,” he says softly before placing a kiss to the top of my head. I sit up, looking at him with awe.

“How do you still make me blush, even after all these years?” I giggle as my cheeks burn pink.

“I just have that effect on women,” he laughs as he stretches his arms above his head, purposefully flexing his biceps. I roll my eyes.

“Whatever,” I laugh as I stand from the bed. “Get dressed, Casanova,” I tease as I walk to the bathroom. He stands up without saying anything then gently slaps my ass. I can’t help but laugh to myself as he runs out of the room like a child who’s just stolen a piece of candy.

•

•

The car ride was full of jokes and positive energy. Now we sit in this lovely restaurant with a live orchestra and decorative fountains. It’s a bit flashy for my taste, but the food and service are so good that I can’t complain. Evan sits across from me in his signature formal wear: a white button-up and black slacks. He took the time to slick his brown curls down and away from his face and trim his beard and mustache a bit to better fit in with the black-tie atmosphere.

The waitress soon approaches our table with a bottle of wine (which looks much more expansive than any bottle that I pick up at Target) then sets the glasses on the table and opens the wine. Evan speaks up, asking her to leave the bottle as he wants to pour it himself. She smiles before walking away.

“I got this especially for you,” Evan laughs as he picks up the glass bottle. “So if you don’t like it, you owe me $500,” he teases as me pours me my drink. I almost choke on my breath.

“Evan are you crazy?” My eyes nearly pop out of my head. He chuckles at my expression as he pours his own serving.

“Crazy for you,” he winks, knowing that was insanely cheesy. “Plus, I’ve been kind of persuading you not to drink and eat certain things incase we conceive without realizing it, so this is my apology for trying to control your body,” he grins sympathetically, holding his glass of wine out. With a smile, I grab my glass and meet his with a clink. He takes a drink, but when I hold the earthy liquid up to my mouth, I pause. I consider his words about possibly being pregnant. I took a pregnancy test just a few days ago and it was negative like always. I shrug it off taking a sip of the bitter drink.

The night goes on, lovely as ever. It almost feels like an anniversary date with our reminiscing and sharing of old pictures, the high class atmosphere, the expensive wine. The night was perfect, honestly. Evan seemed to have been stressed because he drank nearly the whole bottle of wine on his own in less than an hour.

“God, you’re just so- and you’re such a… and kind! You’re so kind Y/n!” he stammers out with boyish giggles as he pauses every few words to manually sort through each of his thoughts. I laugh at the wine drunk man slouched in his seat

“Thank you, Ev,” I place a hand on his face from across the table.  He leans into the touch as he closes his eyes, his lips curling into a small content smile.

“Hey how come you didn’t drink yours?” he queries as he picks up my mostly full glass of wine, sloshing some of the dark liquid out of the vessel onto to the stark white tablecloth.

“Evan!” I whisper, snatching the glass from him. “Well, someone has to drive you home,” I giggle, shaking my head at the 36-year old child in the seat across from me. I give him the excuse of being the designated driver, but it was actually almost instinctual as to why I haven’t had much to drink. “Speaking of which, I think it’s time to go home,” I raise my eyebrows at Evan who’s got the wine bottle up to his eye, searching for more of the rich liquid. I snatch the bottle out of his hands. He stands from his seat trying to grab it back, but stumbles backwards into his chair. “Jesus Christ, Evan! You aren’t supposed to get trashed in a place like this,” I scold him as I motion around at the elegance of the building. He just shrugs his shoulders.

“Hey! I paid to be here just like everyone else,” he rolls his eyes and flicks his wrist, snapping his fingers.

“I hate when you get wine drunk,” I sigh, shaking my head at the pure sass radiating off my husband. He just smiles at me with droopy eyes. I laugh, then call for the check.

•

•

After arriving home, I force my drunk husband out of his dress clothes so he can put his pajamas on. Evan is standing in the middle of our room in just his boxers as I sort through our dresser for his sweat pants and an old t-shirt. I carry the clothes over to him, then he suddenly grabs my hips pulling me into a kiss, swaying a bit on his feet.

“What if we try again tonight?” he asks lowly in my ear, catching me off guard, his energy now much different from his giggling self.

“I think maybe we should just get ready for bed,” I whisper back as he places small kisses down my neck, his strong hands pulling my body closer to his.

“That’s no fun,” he looks at me, frowning.

“Come on Ev. You’re drunk and I’m still sore from the other night. Let’s just get you in bed,” I smile, leading him to the mattress. He begrudgingly allows me to dress him before he lays down on our bed. Once he’s settled, I head to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

As I reach over the counter into the cabinet to grab a cup, I see the bag of the fancy pregnancy tests that Evan bought. I get my water and take a few sips while staring at the bag, contemplating whether I should use one. I shrug, taking one up to the bathroom with me so I can get ready for the night.

I set the box on the bathroom counter before taking off my makeup. As I walk to the toilet to use the bathroom, my eyes glance back over to the blue and white box.

‘You’re supposed to do it in the morning, it wouldn’t be accurate right now anyway,’  I think to myself as I pull up my dress, sitting down on the toilet, but in the same breath I think, ‘Evan bought like half a dozen, wasting one won’t hurt,’ I convince myself to hop up, reaching for the blue and white box, reading the directions quickly. I do as directed and allow the test to sit for two minutes. I turn away, brushing my teeth anxiously for the longest two minutes of my entire life. ‘I don’t know why I’m so worked up this time. I know it’s going to be negative,’ I think to myself as I put my tooth brush back in its holder. My heart drops to my stomach when I see the result of the test. I turn the other set of lights on in the bathroom so I can see it clearly. I blink my eyes as I hold the plastic closer to my face. I don’t believe my eyes.

‘pregnant’ is staring back at me in the small digital window of the pregnancy test. I smile, holding it to my pounding chest.

‘This could be a false positive. I’ll have to take another one in the morning,’ I rationalize in my head. ‘Should I tell Evan? If it’s a false, he’ll be crushed,’ I frown. As if Evan knows every time I’m thinking about him, he stumbles into the bathroom.

“Holy shit baby why do you have the LED’s on,” he hisses as he covers his eyes, trudging to the toilet in a drunken stupor. I stand still, just staring at the test in my hands, unsure of what to do. Evan yawns as relieves himself in the small room that the toilet is in.

“This could be false,” I start as I look at his backside. “But this test is positive,” I say quietly, unsure if he can hear me over the gallons he’s pissing. “Jesus, Evan,” I raise my eyebrows at how much he’s going.

“What?” he asks after a pause while turning his ear towards me, seemingly unsure if he heard me correctly. I wait for him to finish. Once he adjusts his pants and turns around, I take a deep breath before handing him the test.

“Now this could be false but-“ I begin as he tries to focus his tired, drunken gaze on the small letters on the test.

“Pregnant,” he reads aloud slowly. He looks up at me with wide eyes and a slack jaw before pulling me into a tight hug.

“Now like I said Ev, it could a false positive,” I remind him as I giggle against his chest.

“No way,” he looks at me with tears of joy streaming down his face. As soon as I see his tears, my own roll down my cheeks. He places a gentle hand on my stomach, using the other to wipe his eyes.

“How long until we can feel it kick?” he asks genuinely with pure joy glinting in his eyes. I giggle at his eagerness.

“It’s gotta grow legs first,” I snicker as he rests his forehead against mine. He laughs when he realizes how silly of a question that was before placing a gentle kiss to my lips.

“Lets get you to bed, Mama,” he picks me up, seemingly much more sober now, to carry me to our bed.

#evan peters #evan peters smut #ahs cult #ahs hotel #jimmy darling smut #kai anderson #kit walker smut #ahs asylum #ahs fandom #ahs murder house #warren lipka #warren lipka smut #peter maximoff smut #kai anderson smut #kit walker x reader #kyle spencer #tate langdon smut #tate langdon #james patrick march

[vivwritesfics]

Sorry vivi for not specifying but i ment as in his son oscar😭 love your work lots tho

I saw this and felt so dumb 😭😭 buuut I can make it work. (Again, adding the tags in later)

Series Masterlist

Holding six year old Oscars hand, Y/N walked into her husbands office, her hand on her pregnant belly. "Carlos,'" she said and her husband looked up from his work. "Our son has something he wants to tell you."

Beaming, Oscar let go of his mothers hand. Be was practically his mother's double as he ran to his father, clutching his favourite toy rabbit. "Daddy! I want to be a race car driver!" He shouted as Carlos sat him on his lap.

But the smile Carlos gave him back was a sad one. Y/N cleared her throat and stood at his side, running her hands through his thick head of hair.

Carlos squeezed Oscar tight. "You know, Mijo, your Uncle Oscar wanted to be a race car driver too?" He asked him.

Little Oscar shook his head. With his rabbit on Carlos's desk, he twiddled with his fingers. "Is he the one I never got to meet?" He asked timidly.

"Oh baby," said Y/N as she reached down to smooth out her sons hair. "He would have loved you."

Carlos sainz was an incredibly rich and powerful man. He paid for his son to go karting until he was competing.

Even though he was incredibly busy, he never missed a race. Even when Oscar was karting, he never missed a race. And then when he moved up into formula 4, formula three, formula 2 and, eventually, formula 1.

The first time Oscar raced in Australia, he visited his uncle Oscars grave. He took flowers, knowing it would make his mother proud, and placed them on the grave of Oscar Piastri.

"Hey," he said to the headstone. He thought of the rabbit Teddy bear that was back in his hotel room, the rabbit that had once belonged to his uncle. "You never met me, but I'm Oscar, Y/N and Carlos's kid."

He sucked in a deep breath. "When I was a kid, I wanted to be a racer. And I made it. My parents told me all about you and how you wanted to be one too. I even use your driver number from your Karting days."

Every race Oscar won was for the uncle he never met. When he got his first drivers championship, he did it for his uncle Oscar. His entire career was for his uncle Oscar.

Carlos's first born was his pride and joy. But he was to be a racer, not the head of the Sainz family. Carlos was more than happy with that.

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[harmshake]

The End Game

Months after their hot love affair cooled off, Amanda and Roman start to realize there’s more between them than just sizzling-good sex...

Roman Reigns x Amanda (Fem!Black!OC) | 18+ ONLY, NSFW, drama, smut | ~15k words (Listen, I have a story to tell! 😭)

This is the final one shot chapter in the series, Let’s Play a Game. ❤️

Happy reading! Read all the chapters or my other Roman stories here, if you'd like. ✨

"Cause we're way too in love, just to fuck and let go... Cause we're way too involved, just to cut and not call...way too in deep..."

His big hands were stuck to her thick hips, easily holding her down, holding her close. Right where he wanted her. Amanda liked how strong his grip was on her, how his fingers dug into her soft skin, and how his hips moved with hers. One fluid motion, in and out, a slow dance that he could do for hours, even though he deliciously wore her down. 

But she wasn’t too tired to keep going. He was doing all the work, anyway, as he liked to spoil her, repositioning her thighs against his strong chest as he grinded into her, slowly, deeply, watching her moan to him with admiration in his dark brown eyes. Their eyes locked together as he searched them and she saw a satisfied smirk pull at his thick lips when he found what he was looking for…

“I’m still too much for you, baby?” he whispered, his deep voice heavy with conceit. He could see it as she squirmed beneath him, moan after moan rolling off her tongue. Amanda playfully rolled her eyes, too, and shot him a smirk back before he angled his hips up just slightly, just enough to tease himself along her g-spot, nudging it with winding strokes that made her moans fall into breathy whines. “Mmm…you ’bout to cum for me?” he asked tenderly before leaning down, burying himself deeper inside as their lips touched for a kiss.

“Yesssunhhhhh,” Amanda mumbled against his lips, her arms and legs now wrapped around his waist as she shook with his every slow, teasing, thorough thrust. “Right there, baby, unhh…I’m cumming,” she closed her eyes and whimpered on his shoulder when he moved his lips to her neck to kiss her there, too.

And as she cried out from that first glowing hot pleasure wave that washed over her, making her tremble against him, he softly growled in her ear, “Fuck, I love how this pussy grippin’ on me…who’s pussy is this, baby?”

“It’s all yours, Joe,” Amanda moaned without hesitation, her breath catching as her ecstasy snatched her up.

“What the fuck?” he spat, his luscious thrusts coming to an abrupt halt as he yanked up from her to glare at her with confused eyes.

“Oh, shit,” she blurted, both from the stupid, stupid slip-up and the very, very good orgasm that was still rolling through her body. She was tempted to grind it out by herself since he’d stopped moving, but she knew better than that. Just like she should have known better to moan her ex’s name while another man was inside her.

“Yo, what the fuck, Amanda?” Christian asked again, ripping himself out of her and pushing her thighs off his waist before he hopped off the bed altogether. The world knew him as Carmelo Hayes, but of course, she called him by his real name. Just not tonight. 

No, instead she let Joe, who the world knew as Roman Reigns, poison her mind while she was with Christian. She was ashamed to admit to herself that it wasn’t even the first time that it had happened—but it was a first for her to let her thoughts of him escape out of her mouth.

“I am so sorry, oh, my god,” was all she could say because there wasn’t much else to say. She pulled the bed sheets up around her naked body in shame, feeling exposed in more ways than one. She had fucked up and she knew he was going to hit her with a barrage of questions. And she also knew there was just one answer to all of them.

“You cheatin’ on me?” Christian asked, the betrayal on his beautiful face quickly twisting into anger as he jerked his boxers up to his waist. Amanda could see his hands trembling a little and it scared her. She’d never seen him this upset.

“No.” The single word flew out fast since it was the truth. She’d been exclusive with Christian for about three months and he was the only man she was romantic with. Yet Amanda had heard of such a thing as “emotional cheating”…and if that was a real thing…she was definitely guilty of that. 

Amanda hadn’t really spoken to Joe in over a year, not since their split last summer. And yet her heart would still do a tiny, asinine flip whenever she saw him backstage. If they ever did speak, it was tepid “pleasantries,” and only if they had to be near each other, like during in-ring segments where, as SmackDown’s ring announcer, she would introduce him to the live crowd, or if their friend groups merged at after-work parties.

But even that felt strained and forced as Amanda could feel Joe’s venom for her sting her skin if he ever bothered to look at her. The feeling was mutual as she believed it was his fault they broke up in the first place…

When she decided she needed to finally move the hell on, dating Christian was the final nail in the coffin of what remained of their relationship. For a while Amanda was grateful for the distraction because she liked Christian a lot…but apparently not enough to keep her from reminiscing about Joe…

His full, soft lips on her…his strong arms around her…his warm, hulking body pressed to hers…his deep voice in her ear…his thick dick deep enough to be in her stomach…

It made her feel sick. Didn’t matter how frustrated she was with that petty ass man…even all these months later, she was still just as horny for him. And she absolutely hated herself for it.

“I don’t believe you,” Christian said and she could tell he was trying not to raise his voice. Amanda was certain he already hated her, too, as any fond feelings they’d been nurturing instantly rotted with the mention of the wrong name. “Just be real with me. Is it Joe Joe? You seein’ him again?” he asked with his muscular arms crossed over his chest.

She felt so small with him towering over her as she sank into the bed, wishing she could find a nicer excuse to give him other than, “No. I just can’t stop thinking about him. Sex with you is great…it’s just not sex with him.”

“I swear to god I’m not! I haven’t even talked to him.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m telling you the truth!”

“You don’t just moan another fuckin' man’s name while fuckin’ your boyfriend unless he was recently fuckin’ you, too!” Christian hissed before he sucked in a big, shaky breath. He was fighting back tears and she despised that she was the cause. It made hot tears spring to Amanda’s eyes and she didn’t bother wiping at them as they fell down her cheeks.

“I haven’t been with anyone but you, I promise! I don’t know why I said that shit…I just know I was dumb to say it and I’m so sorry,” Amanda gasped in one big breath, her voice thick with remorse—and embarrassment for not having the courage to be real like he demanded. But she would not dare, not when it was clear that his name alone had done enough damage.

“Keep that bullshit apology, Amanda, ’cause I know you’re lyin’ to me. Don't think I never peeped how that nigga looks at you. But it's cool. Just stay the fuck away from me,” he replied and swiped up his clothes and shoes from the floor before turning his back to her and storming out of her hotel bedroom. She knew it would be pointless to chase after him, so instead, she hid her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed, and she listened to him get dressed and slam the door shut on his way out.

The worst part about suddenly losing her boyfriend wasn’t even that she felt terrible for breaking his heart—but that she felt terribly relieved to finally stop living a lie.

Because the truth was the demon she’d been fighting off for a while now had a name. And Amanda was ready to give in.

Coming back to her hotel alone was an adjustment Amanda hadn’t quite made.

It had been two months since Christian dumped her, but truthfully, he wasn’t the reason she felt lonely after work. Sure, she thought about him sometimes, but no…it was always him. The same incubus haunting her thoughts and dreams. 

Because there was something about the way things crashed and burned with Joe that still didn’t sit right with her. When it weighed heavy enough on her mind on nights like tonight, it kept her awake with memories of how they used to laugh together, hold one another, and give each other orgasms that felt damn near like spiritual experiences...

And Amanda knew exactly what the problem was: Joe had the audacity to let her go like she was just some random woman.

She didn’t like to think about it too much, but being by herself in her hotel room left her with her thoughts as her only company. She realized that he’d hurt her feelings…feelings that she was afraid to admit to herself were deeper than she wanted them to be. How could her feelings not run deep for Joe when they went from those cute coworkers who’d flirt too often; to close friends who saw and text messaged each other almost every day; and finally as lovers who were inseparable between the sheets? 

And after five months together, none of that even mattered to him. 

He’d gotten her used to his radiant presence, his warmth, his smile, and now he was probably out there smiling all up in other women’s faces while she was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, studying her sad, dark brown eyes and slight frown that had been stuck on her plump lips for months. 

The blip in time that was her fun-while-it-lasted relationship with Christian did almost nothing to separate her from the year she'd spent in grief. She knew she was dead wrong to waste his time like that, but she also didn't know how else to heal. Her friends tried to make her feel better by telling her that hurt people hurt people, but she knew that was no excuse. She couldn’t take back what she did…but she also couldn’t let go of him.

And now she was ready to accept her fate: She wasn’t over Joe and…she didn’t want to be. 

She missed him. She missed everything. Like their post-work routine that they had perfected: They’d wait for the other backstage in his locker room to change out of their gear, hop on Joe’s private bus, grab dinner, and head back to his or her hotel to step into the shower together, cuddle on the couch together, and then crawl in bed together to fall asleep side by side...or not sleep.

Now she was all alone with a new routine: Strip off her dress and underwear to climb in the shower without him; moisturize her deep brown skin with mango body butter without him helping her reach her back; braid down her red auburn afro that fell to her shoulders without him telling her how cute she looked before and after she hid them beneath a cheetah-print, silk bonnet; pull on an oversized, black tee shirt that wasn't his; and order a big bowl of Massaman curry and rice from GrubHub that he wasn't here to steal bites from.

The only interaction with him she could look forward to was at work. And if it wasn’t for his cousins, Sefa, Josh, and Jon, who befriended her and often chopped it up with her before Joe would interrupt them and pull them away for Bloodline business, she was certain he wouldn’t acknowledge her existence at all. 

Which was bullshit, Amanda thought to herself as she stared blankly at the rerun of Girlfriends on the giant television screen in the hotel’s den. While she crushed on him for a long while, it was Joe who made the first move. It was he who went out of his way to make her feel comfortable with him. It was he who proposed they make their sexy little fling something more concrete.

And it was he who fucked it up for them both.

She sat her half-empty takeout bowl of curry on the coffee table and reclined on the couch, letting out a frustrated sigh. It still didn’t make sense to her how he went on a break after WrestleMania last year and never made time to see her like he promised he would. She didn’t think she was being clingy. She just wanted to see her boyfriend. And it wasn’t like she attempted to invite herself to his home. Joe explicitly told her before he left that he would see her as often as he could. 

Yet it was always something that came up or got in the way. If it wasn’t impromptu business meetings stealing the days she planned to visit, it was surprise family gatherings that she couldn’t attend because, weirdly, no flights were available on those days. And that really upset her because Joe seemed so excited for her to meet his parents…and she never got the chance.

The first three delays Amanda chalked up to Joe being a busy man. Yet when a month and a half went by and they still couldn’t figure out a way to get to one another, Amanda started to feel like it was on purpose. She hated the way that exchange had gone down: He made her feel stupid for not comprehending why he still worked on vacation, and she came off as accusatory because of it. As a result, she’d thrown her hurt in his face even when he tried to pacify her and offer a solution, like getting on video calls. 

But she wasn’t trying to hear it. To her, it was too late to make things right when all she’d heard for weeks were what sounded like his excuses. In hindsight, she saw how the distance between them fed her anxiety and made her hostile to him, which Joe noticed on that fateful phone call.

“So, what then? You rather we not talk at all than use this conversation to fix the problem?” Although Amanda could hear his subtle frustration simmering in the depths of his deep voice, he was able to keep his tone steady on the line…which angered her more as her voice rose slightly with the passion she felt for him, the passion she was convinced he abruptly lacked for her.

“It seems like that’s what’s best since it’s been over a month and there’s still a problem…” Amanda spat back. She heard him let out a sigh and then a quick, dark chuckle. They’d had a few minor miscommunications but they’d never argued before this call, yet she’d seen him butt heads with his cousins from time to time. That’s how she knew he didn’t find her words funny, but instead, it was a sign that he was growing more irritated.

“Wow, Amanda. Well, if that’s what you want, I won’t stop you. Do what’s best for you,” Joe replied calmly. That was the final blow to her.

“I will. I hope you do, too.” Once she pressed END CALL on her cell phone, she felt tears sting her eyes. It was like they were the fuel for the fire that burned inside her. She slammed her phone down on the hotel’s nightstand and let out an exasperated scream that she’d been biting back for weeks. 

She liked to believe she was a level-headed, 34-year-old woman who could rein in her irrational emotions. But something about Joe made her feel wide open. She already knew he had that kind of control over her when he could coax out the best orgasms she ever had. It was a revelation that he could also bring out the worst emotions in her.

Amanda threw away her leftover curry and brushed her teeth before she flopped onto her back in bed, her mind still spinning. She found it surreal that she hadn’t received a phone call from him since that day. Maybe it was because she owed him an apology, too, she thought, but she couldn’t bring herself to call him first.

Not when she felt embarrassed like this…embarrassed about how things ended between them…embarrassed about her lingering affection going ignored month after month…and embarrassed about her pussy still getting wet for him even when he wasn’t in the room. It happened every time she let her thoughts run rampant with regret and arousal so deep for him that she resented him all over again for not being here to play with her pussy, leaving her to do it herself. 

And tonight was once again one of those nights… 

Amanda couldn’t help but think about how Joe would walk into her hotel suite behind her, his heavy arms draped around her waist as he pinned her to his thick, warm body that hovered over her. She would feel his dick already growing hard, digging into her backside, as he leaned down to plant greedy kisses on her neck. When he was on her like that, she knew they weren’t going to make it to the bedroom... 

Instead, he would push her up against the foyer wall and bring his lips to hers. She loved how soft his lips were and how smooth his tongue was as he tasted hers before he fell to his knees to taste what was underneath her dress. The way Joe would run his tongue up and down her clit with such tenderness was the same way she ran her fingertips along it now as she spread her legs wider beneath her bedsheets and tried to mimic his technique to make her cum in his mouth. 

However, she didn’t want to cum yet…she wanted to save that for when she reminisced on how when he was finished making her scream from sucking on her pussy, he would instruct her to face the wall and put her hands on it. She’d hear the rustling sound of fabric as his joggers and boxer briefs fell to the floor, the wet sound of his spit as it lubed his long length in his hand. She was so ready for it that her heart would pound loud enough that she could hear it in her ears. 

Joe had a dick that hung between his thighs like a cucumber and she never quite got used to his size. Even though his strokes were gentle, the stretch always had her screaming even louder. “Stop all that whinin’ and take this dick…mmm, that’s it, sweetheart…feels good when I fill up this pussy, don't it?” Joe would groan in between heavy thrusts, his lips on her ear and his big hands on her petite yet wide hips to make her take him deeper, harder until she was crying his name and struggling to stand in her stilettos as his hefty body drove into her. 

“Yeah, oh my god,” she would shout to him. She did love how he filled her up to the brim. And she knew he loved how her pussy gripped him with each stroke that made her throb around him. That’s when he would start moaning back to her as her wet, clenching pussy milked his dick, his voice husky as he grunted, “You gonna make me cum, baby...fuck…”

“Cum for me, Daddy,” Amanda would purr before she felt him squeeze her almost too tight in his hands and nuzzle his nose in the crook of her neck, his warm breath labored against her skin as his fiery pleasure worked its way through him. Even though they were both still mostly clothed, his impossible heat covered her…as did his warm cum as it covered her pussy from the inside out.

He had developed a naughty habit of not pulling out after the first time she let him do it. Yet Amanda had so fallen in love with the feeling of him twitching and spilling inside her, she opted to get on birth control so he could stay close like this…and pump rope after rope of his sticky pleasure deep into her…

 It was that memory that made her arch her back off the bed as she felt her own orgasm shudder through her, her fingers buried in her fluttering pussy like how his dick would be when he came for her.

She moaned louder than she meant into the darkness of her bedroom, his name almost erupting from her throat from the deep longing in her belly. Yet even in the swells of her ecstasy, the painful reality that Joe wasn’t here to hear it made her shamefully choke it down as she collapsed back onto the bed, her heart thudding in her chest. It burned her up that she had to resort to this, something that she hadn’t done since before he got her alone in his locker room and convinced her to sit on his lap to give him that kiss that led them to this hell…

And that's why Amanda couldn’t be the first one to reach out. Didn’t matter how badly she craved him, she refused to let him in on how desperate she was for him. For fuck’s sake, she had to reserve some dignity.

Yet when she went into work the following Friday night and saw him rounding the corner of a hallway as he headed to the Gorilla Position where she stood, her heart did that tiny, annoying flip anyway. As usual. And as usual, he ignored her, even as he approached Kayla Braxton who was right next to her.

“They shootin’ this here or in the ring?” Joe gestured with his eyes to the camera crew nearby, referring to their interview scheduled in about ten minutes, and blatantly cutting in on their chat about where everyone should grab drinks tonight. Amanda had an expert poker face by now, her lips a straight line and her eyes fixed on her cell phone that she whipped out of her bra that acted as a pocket on her pocketless, backless, hot pink, mini dress.

Yet the bass in his voice still made her heart patter in her chest. As did the way his red tracksuit clung to his muscles, accentuating each one that swelled along his broad shoulders, arms, and legs when she studied him through her peripheral vision. And he smelled good, too, damnit. Like warm, bergamot musk, his signature scent. It made Amanda feel warm between her thighs and she silently cursed herself for having such a reaction when he was two feet away.

“Here. I’ll interrupt you on your way to the ring and you have to be super annoyed by it,” Kayla replied to him, oblivious as Joe to Amanda’s plight. He nodded and ran a big hand down his full yet trimmed, salt-and-pepper beard and licked his lips, and suddenly his gaze flitted to Amanda for a moment. She felt her body react against her will again as another warm thrill shimmied down her spine. It lingered even as Joe quickly returned his attention to Kayla, but from the way he tripped a little over his next sentence to her, she wondered if he felt it, too…

“Yeah, I-I can do that.” He recovered by spreading his lips into his gorgeous smile which made her want to melt.

Amanda wished she had the courage right then and there to speak up, but it felt useless. What could she possibly say to break the ice after more than a year of not talking to one another?

"I touched myself to the thought of you last night. And you look so good tonight, I wish I could touch you right now..."

Yeah, right.

Instead, she clamped her lips shut and let the moment die, watching him and Kayla converse for a minute more before she tapped her earpiece and said, "They're ready to shoot."

"Sounds good," Joe said with another nod. And another glance at Amanda. This time their eyes locked as she expected him to turn his back to her and head to his mark on the set in Gorilla. She felt that stupid thrill shake her nerves as his eyes held hers for a second before they both looked in opposite directions and he finally walked off.

She could have sworn for that second she saw that mischievous glint that she knew all too well flash in his coffee-colored eyes. It used to light up his gaze when he was in the mood to make her cum until she forgot how to tell time, the minutes effortlessly turning into hours as she fell into a place where time didn’t exist, only pleasure with him…

Amanda didn't realize she was holding her breath until her chest felt tight and she inhaled deeply through her mouth before she let out a heavy sigh.

"You okay?" Kayla asked. "Was that weird for you? It's so dumb that he won't at least say hello."

"Girl, I don't care," Amanda lied. She and Kayla had become good friends and she was the only one outside of Joe's cousins that she confided in her about the breakup. Yet she hadn't lately as she figured she'd done enough blubbering about that man. "So, um, text me after the show if you wanna Uber to the bar together," she awkwardly changed the subject back to their original conversation before she hurried to the curtains that led to the arena. She was due back ringside to announce for Joe in less than ten minutes.

It was a part of her job to do so and it never bothered her to watch him in the ring cutting his promos as he wasn't himself in those moments. He was Roman Reigns addressing the sea of people who hung on his every word. As he posed in the middle of the ring with a mic in his hand after she took a seat in the timekeeper’s area, his gaze swept the arena full of thousands of fans before briefly landing on her a few times. Each time their eyes met, her body felt warmer until she was certain she was about to sweat through her clothes. She crossed and uncrossed her bare legs, hating that he was making her fidget with only his eyes.

The audience was a noisy cacophony of half-cheers and half-boos from his mere presence, but she could barely hear them as she focused on Joe and his words that felt almost like an innuendo. 

“You think it’s over ’cause you said so? You think ’cause you run your mouth, that makes it the law? I still run this ring. I still run this show. This whole company? That's all me,” he said to the camera with his deep voice thundering through the stadium. She knew he was sticking to the script to call out Seth Rollins who became the new Undisputed WWE Universal Champion last month at SummerSlam, but his tone seemed pointed at her as he said, “I get what I want when I want it, you know why? Because it’s still mine, aaaall of it. And it ain’t over until the Tribal Chief says it’s over.”

He glowered in her direction after the cameras pulled back from him to survey the crowd’s deafening reaction. Surely her mind was playing tricks on her, she thought, as this would be the most attention Joe had shown her in months…and she didn’t understand why. He’d been a pillar of nonchalance towards her until now. Maybe he did feel that same heated pull that she did…

And as she walked into the upscale lounge with Kayla and Zelina Vega at her side, there it was again. 

That smoldering pull…the bar was crowded with their coworkers who beat them here, but she could already feel Joe’s eyes on her from the left side of the room. From the corner of her eye, she saw him with a whiskey glass hiding in his large hand as he posted up with his cousins on the white leather sectional sofa. The lights were low and hazy with a purple tint and hookah smoke but when Amanda caught a glimpse of his eyes, his lusty glint was darker, headier. She looked away, feeling hot in her clothes again as his gaze seemed to follow her on her way to the bar through the throng of Los Angeles locals. 

She had to take a deep breath to cool down and collect her thoughts. That’s when she finally heard Kayla’s voice slightly shouting at her over the Solange song blaring through the overhead speakers. “Are we having wine tonight or are we drinking?” her friend repeated for the third time.

Amanda blinked and forced herself to concentrate enough to reply to their inside joke. If they wanted to keep it cute and avoid hangovers the next day, they’d order a glass or two of rosé. But if they wanted to party and get loose for the night, they’d order two Barbie shots each before sipping on whatever else they’d acquire a taste for.

“Oh, we’re drinking,” Amanda declared, feeling like she could use the help to unwind her nerves from Joe sitting less than fifteen feet away. He didn't often attend these after-hours get-togethers since their split, and his presence, his pull, was all she could focus on. 

She heard her and Zelina let out a woot before Kayla flagged down a bartender, and Amanda wished she could share in their excitement. Yet even after her first shot, her nerves had her a bit fidgety, making her feel like his eyes were still studying her.

And when Josh appeared next to her and clapped his hand on her shoulder, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Damn, did I scare you?” he said with a friendly grin on his face, holding back a giggle. He threw a wave at Kayla and Zelina before he said to her, “Just wanted to say hey ’cause I ain’t spoke to you all night.”

“You’re good…and hey to you, too,” Amanda replied and took another sip of her strawberry cocktail. 

“Thank you ’cause you sho’ll ain’t speak when you came in earlier. Just ignored me and my brothers. And I know you saw us.” Josh’s tone was playful and it made her crack a tiny smile. 

“I’m sorry. But you know why I didn’t approach y’all.”

“Yeah, I figured that…but maaaan, it’s time to cut alladat out,” he said and slashed his hand around in the air. He took a peek at her friends before he leaned in closer to her and said in a lower voice, “I think y’all need to just kiss and make-up already. I know he misses you.”

“Did he say that?” Amanda blurted. She was thankful Kayla was too busy talking to Zelina on the other side of them to notice. It felt like a hundred butterflies were set free in her tummy at the potential news.

Josh’s eyes appeared a little cagey before he said, “All I’mma say is…I think y’all need to talk.”

“Wait a minute. Did he send you over here?” she asked warily. 

“No,” he said quickly. “I told you, I just wanted to say hey.”

“Josh…”

“I’m just sayin’, Amanda…y’all should work it out,” he said and held his hands up in defense. “I miss when we all used to get along,” he added and patted her on the shoulder again with a big smile before he walked back to his table. 

“Me, too,” she said under her breath. She dared to peer over her shoulder and saw him plop down next to Joe who first glared at his cousin and then at her. She snapped her head back around and took a big, anxious sip of her cocktail. When several minutes passed and her nerves hadn’t settled, she went for another sip but realized she’d downed the last of it.

“She’ll have another one of those and I’ll have another Scotch neat. You can put it on my tab.” 

His deep voice was smooth like silk and caressed her like the fabric slipping across her skin. Her body heat rapidly rose from the luscious sound of it, from his body heat radiating closely next to hers as he slid onto the barstool beside her. Amanda found the courage to meet his gaze and felt that warm thrill take over her body as his deep brown eyes bore into hers. He was unbearably beautiful with his raven hair slicked back into a tight bun that showed off his chiseled face, even though his handsome features were pulled into a stern look, a slight scowl on his full, sexy lips. 

“So. What did he say to you?” Joe asked in a low, brusque tone after the bartender placed their drinks on black napkins in front of them. He grabbed his glass and took a slow sip, his eyes still on her as he waited for her response. Amanda was nearly speechless. A year of awkwardly avoiding one another without so much as a “hello” and this was the first thing he said to her? She couldn’t believe her ears.

“Why don’t you ask him?” she curtly asked back, neglecting the cocktail he’d ordered for her. She didn’t need it anymore, not when her nerves gave way to her blood starting to sizzle in anticipation of hearing what the hell he had to say to her.

“I did and now I’m askin’ you,” Joe said coolly. 

“Why do you care?” Amanda genuinely wanted to know why talking to Josh, something she did pretty often, suddenly made him approach her now after all this time—and if the real reason he was talking to her had anything to do with the way his eyes fell on her ample breasts in her draped-front dress that bared her cleavage…

She felt that heat ripple along her skin where his eyes lingered for only a brief moment before he quickly brought his gaze back to hers. She wasn’t sure what pissed her off more: The fact that Joe could make her feel hot so easily or that he continued their conversation like he didn’t just stare at her titties.

But he remained nonchalant as he let a small smirk tug at his lips before he snickered softly and said, “I’m just askin’ a simple question. It requires a simple answer.”

The sound of his humorless laugh reminded her of their very last phone call. She wondered how he had the nerve to be irritated with her right now, especially when he was being a bit of a condescending jerk and not answering her question. 

“You’re right. It is simple. Why can’t you tell me why you all of sudden care to ask me anything when you haven’t talked to me in months?” Amanda tried once more, sitting up straight in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest when she caught his eyes flit there again.

“Alright. Fair enough.” Joe held a hand up to signify that she had a point. “To answer your question…I just didn’t want Josh all in your ear startin’ up shit. I can speak for myself.”

“You’re the one who’s over here startin' shit,” she retorted. He scrunched his nose at her words like they weren’t true, like him prying her for information on her and Josh’s conversation was any of his business—especially when there was a lot more they should talk about. She watched him take another sip of his Scotch yet he didn’t reply. “Sooo, is that all you have to say for yourself?”

“Yeah, it was.”

“Wow, what the fuck, Joe?” Amanda struggled not to raise her voice as her aggravation flooded through her. She took a peek at Kayla and Zelina to make sure they hadn’t heard that and saw them still giggling together, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing behind them between her and Joe. Before she said another word, she took a breath and decided to finally take a sip of her cocktail to steady herself.

"That’s some bullshit and you know it."

“How?” He looked at her incredulously with a grimace on his lips. He wanted to appear stoic but Amanda could tell she had struck a nerve. “What do you want me to say, huh? Sorry? That’s what you wanna hear?” He snickered again and the sound crawled under her skin as he knew that’s what she wanted to hear. From the corner of her eye, she saw him polish off the last sip in his glass, his eyes on her. She knew Joe didn’t drink often yet on the rare occasion that he did, he knew how to handle his liquor. Yet she knew he had to be drunk if he thought he could try her patience like this.

“It’s the least you could do.”

"You want me to be sorry for you dumpin’ me?" Joe said. If she listened hard enough, she could have sworn he sounded almost hurt by it, and that surprised her.

"You kinda gave me no choice when you refused to make time to see me," she said anyway. She thought if he was truly as hurt about it as she was, why did he never make an effort to get back together? 

"Here you go. Same talking points," he muttered, rolling his eyes. "I already apologized for that. And I tried to make it work but that wasn't enough for you. So I'm not sorry you decided to do you...which you absolutely did. How are things with you and Chris?" The shit-eating grin that suddenly spread on his lips made her want to smack the shit out of him.

"Fuck you," she said, avoiding his eyes as she tossed back the last sip of her drink.

"You wish."

"Excuse me?" She whipped her head back to look at him with that shit-eating grin still on his face. Did he know about her unrequited lust? Was he mocking her for it?

But then that smile slowly faded as he added, "Forget about it. Sorry I even came over here. There's your apology." Joe slurred his words a little and slid out of the barstool as he started to walk away. She'd never seen him actually drunk but that wasn't an excuse for his bullshit. And she wouldn't let him get off the hook that easily.

"That's how you wanna end this conversation? Really?" Amanda spat over her shoulder at him.

He stopped in his tracks and sighed before he faced her again. "You wanna keep fighting? Here?"

"No one is listening to us," Amanda said and shot a look at Kayla and Zelina to check and caught them snapping their heads back around to fake a conversation with each other. She was too tipsy to care at this point. "I just want to know the real reason you're talking to me. Be fuckin' honest," she added. 

"I'm always honest. But I'm not doin' this with you. Not here." He put extra bass in his voice to sound authoritative but it didn't phase her. Joe had started this and she was going to finish it.

"Then let's go over there," she said and went to stand. She felt even tipsier on her gold, open-toed stilettos and she was grateful for the straps tied around her shins to keep her in them. Amanda yanked at Joe's sleeve to make him stumble behind her until they stood in the back of the hallway near the restrooms. It wasn't much quieter, but at least there weren't people swarming in and out of the single stalls so they could have a little more privacy.

She felt her nerves again, making her heart pound as it felt unreal that they were having this moment. It was definitely the alcohol, she knew it, but as she stood before him, even as he towered over her, she felt the fuel she needed to confront him once again.

"I know this isn't the ideal setting for this but you can't...you can't just come up to me like that and act like shit is normal. Because ain't shit normal about this." She paused to find the words...and her bearings as she grabbed hold of the end table thankfully nearby. Joe reached a hand out to help steady her but retracted it once she was upright again. The fact that he thought to touch her made her head spin more than it already was.

"Yeah. It's normal for us not to talk, I get it. But I already told you. I just didn't want Josh in our business." 

"He's my frieeeenduh, Joe. And your cousin. He's in it. And he told me we should figure this out," she blurted and slapped a hand to her mouth.

"I fuckin' knew it," he looked down and muttered under his breath to himself before he caught her eyes again. "We really shouldn't do this here..." he said again but softly.

"But you do wanna talk about it? About us?" she said just as softly, trying not to let dumb hope slip into her tone.

"I'm not sure." She could hear the battle in his deep tone and it upset her. She had never been unsure about anything concerning him until he gave her a reason. And yet after a year apart, each day taught her just how damn sure she was about her feelings for him. They were scorched upon her heart, his name branded there. And he seemed to still be lukewarm on her.

"Then why did you even approach me tonight?!" she asked, frustrated and a bit heartbroken.

The way Joe's eyes landed on hers again as he parted his lips to speak before briefly falling over her body like he couldn't help it made that even dumb, hot thrill rock through her. It made her shift uncomfortably in her heels, losing her grip on the table, and she started going down. His arms were around her waist before she hit the ground, pulling her up to his chest. For a split second, Amanda almost found herself melting into his warmth, his muscles surrounding her, his scent filling her nose...but she jerked herself away, her heart racing and her pussy purring with heat. Her back hit the wall behind her which was closer than she thought, but she was grateful because it kept her on her feet as his gaze on her threatened to make her knees weak again.

"Don't touch me." The words were weak and an obvious lie but she felt she had to protect herself from further heartbreak.

"You sure about that?" That glint, that conniving little glint shone in Joe's beautiful eyes, almost teasing like he knew something she didn't. Her immediate thought was that Josh or Jon's well-meaning but chatty asses had told him what they shouldn't have because Sefa would never. Yet her immediate physical reaction was biting her bottom lip. He noticed and smirked and she quickly stopped.

"Shut up," Amanda replied, uncertain what else to say, afraid to confirm her lust, even as he slowly licked his lips and took one step with his long legs to close the space between them.

"So now you want me to shut up after fussin' at me to talk to you?" Joe chuckled darkly. He was close enough that his body heat washed over her..."Hmph. I think you want me to do a whole lot more with you than just talk. Don't you?"

"Why would you say that?!"

"I can see you tremblin' and it ain't cold in here." He suddenly slipped his hand around her waist, his fingertips grazing the patch of bare skin on her back. It made her quiver. "Want me to stop touchin' you…?" he asked, his fingertips swirling circles along her lower back.

"...W-what about you, huh? Since you think you know every fuckin' thing about me," Amanda managed to retort but found her hands pushed to his strong chest as she looked up at him. She wanted to shove him away for being such a jerk but her body wouldn't let her do it...not when his fingers dug into her skin, inching onto the globes of her round ass as he looked down at her with that heated gaze.

"I want you to take your ass into that restroom and pull your panties off."

Amanda thought she misheard since the words were so unexpected. But then he glanced down the hallway to check if any eyes were on them before he went to open the restroom door to her right and said, "Get inside. Now."

She did as she was told but she felt like she was in a daze, an excited, flustered, annoyed, delightful daze. She watched him close and lock the door behind them. "You ’bout to try and give me some dick to make things right? That's not how that works," Amanda said wearily, her body still trembling at the thought as she wrapped her arms around herself to hold it together.

He chuckled again with a hiccup as he replied, "Yeah, I know. I'm just givin' you what you want in the meantime. Now take them panties off before I make you."

"Make me, then," was all Amanda could utter before he was on her, his big hands on the sides of her face as he pressed his lips to hers for his hurried, hungry kisses that tasted like spicy Scotch and desperate desire. The heat between them imploded in a frantic collision of their mouths as she closed her eyes and flung her arms around his neck as he kissed her roughly, their teeth slightly knocking together, his bulky, warm body crashing into hers and pinning her to the door, his heavy hands then greedily running over every thick curve along her body that lit up from his touch.

Nearly fourteen lonely months made her feel like his body on hers in this public restroom was all a dream. But when Joe wedged his strong thigh between her own and pushed them apart to make space for his wandering fingers, he felt very real and she let out a very real, surprised gasp at his strength. He wasted no time as he slipped his hand beneath her skirt, his fingertips skimming along her clit in her lace thong for a second before he hooked his thumbs around the fabric and snatched them down her thighs. They barely hit the floor before he let his thick, middle fingers delve between her slick pussy lips that swiftly grew dripping wet for him as he remembered how to stroke her clit the way he knew would make her moan to him. 

“Shhhh,” Joe growled at her, his lips still mashed to hers, but she squealed again as he rubbed his thumb over her clit and slid those fingers inside her pussy. She tried to suck in another moan but it was futile when he set her on fire with how he alternated between slow and fast taps on her g-spot. She felt like she was being swallowed whole by him and his heat: His warm tongue swirling on hers, his hot body surrounding hers, his prolonged, probing caresses on her sweet spot with the base of his soft, warm fingers.

He hushed her but she could feel his warm breath on her face, hitching with what she knew was focus as he sought her orgasm which he knew would be loud. And when Amanda started to helplessly moan to him as her pussy fluttered around his fingers, he let out a pleased sigh before he teasingly said, “Be quiet…” but gently pushed in his index finger and watched her sob a long, shaky moan. He covered her mouth with sloppy, sweet kisses to absorb her orgasmic sounds that surely would alert the entire bar of what was going on in the restroom. 

But Joe felt too damn good on her to care.

"You're gonna cum on my dick like that," Joe grunted softly in her ear before pulling his fingers from her wet warmth. He then pulled down his pants and boxers to wobbly step out of them before he grabbed her thighs to balance. Her stickiness touched her from his grip as he hooked them one by one around his waist to crush her between him and the door. He knocked some of the wind out of her, the giant, tipsy brute, but Amanda didn't mind when she felt his dickhead nudging into her slick opening. She wanted to be alarmed that neither of them thought to put on a condom, seamlessly falling back into their old, naughty habit...but it allowed her feel every inch of his naked, smooth, thick dick so she didn’t complain...

"Mmmm, Joe..." the words spilled from her lips with a low sob, her hands back on his chest to cling to his jacket. He just had his fingers in her but it did nothing to prepare her for the stretch as Joe gently thrust inside, making her sharply gasp and groan in one breath. She knew he had a big dick, the biggest she ever had…but only fantasizing about the memory of how it felt versus refreshing her memory as he stuffed it inside of her had her whining like it was her first time.

"Goddamn, this pussy tight...open up for me, baby," he groaned back as she wrapped her arms around his neck, their groans mingling together on their tongues as they kissed and he slowed down even more, pushing with a few more tender strokes to make her make room for him.

She almost blurted it was because she'd been essentially saving herself for this moment, but he was one step ahead of her when he mumbled, "I can tell Chris wasn't doin' his fuckin' job because—mmmm, shit—the way you squeezin' around me already...you been needin' me," as he nestled his dick deep inside her. 

"Whyyy the fuck are you bringin' him up right now?" she slurred angrily but he made her moan again as he held her up with handfuls of her round ass as he slowly pumped in and out, making her feel full on him, drunk on him, as he caressed her g-spot each time he buried himself in her, her moans echoing throughout the small restroom. 

His mouth moved on hers as he still talked his shit, "Because your pussy is talkin' to me...tellin' me you missed this...tellin' me you're about to cum on this dick."

"Ohhh, sh-fuck," Amanda cried, her rebuttal tongue-tied by her second orgasm threatening to make her scream. She hated that his big, drunk ass was right as he squeezed her ass in his hands and grinded on her spot, making the door rattle each time he shoved her up against it as his thrusts grew deeper, harder. 

"Cum, Amanda...cum," Joe moaned softly against her neck. Hearing her name in his mouth as he pleaded for her pleasure made her pussy throb around his dick, her orgasm creeping up on her with every thrust.

The door shook once more as he fucked her into it but then the doorknob shook, the sound making Amanda's eyes pop open and shattering her orgasmic build. Another sound then intruded, a few banging knocks, before a familiar, male voice quietly but angrily said, "You guys should know better than to have sex in a goddamn restroom. I could hear you when I was in the stall next door."

"Get the fuck away from here, Mike," Joe snarled after removing his lips from her throat, but his hips didn't stop grinding up into her. She heard Mike mumble something rude as his voice trailed off, but her nerves were shaken from being busted.

"He's right. We should stop..." she whispered, her mouth falling open as she fought back a moan when Joe shook his head and made her take his next thrust.

"Fuck him. We'll stop when you cum for me again," he said but then slipped out of her, leaving her feeling empty and dizzy with need as he dropped her back down on her unsteady feet. "Come here..."

Joe took her forearm and pulled her over to the sink, his whiskey brain probably thinking if they fucked here they'd reduce the noise, she thought. "Turn around and put your hands on the counter," he demanded but grabbed her by the waist to do it for her when she took too long. She saw her doe-eyed expression as she watched his reflection behind her, hiking up her dress to her waist, unzipping his jacket, and pulling the black tee shirt beneath it over his head with the sleeves still on so she could see his tatted chest and yummy abs. He slapped his hands to her ass before he picked up his heavy dick to push back inside her. They both groaned but Amanda's was louder, and he reached a long arm in front of her to smush his hand over her mouth. "Hush. I don't want any more interruptions. I want you to cum on this dick. Right now," he demanded gruffly.

Her orgasmic build soared up quickly as Joe knew her spot, knew how to massage it with his thrusts as he gripped her ass as it bounced off his groin each time he went deep. Her first orgasm was strong, lapping at her with heat, but this was fresh fire, making Amanda sob over and over into his palm that slightly cut off her airflow and made her feel deliciously dizzy again, her eyelids fluttering closed as she hung her head down and felt her body tremble anew with luscious flames swelling and contracting around his thick dick. 

Joe felt those contractions, too, and let out a soft moan as she came to pieces, her juices spurting onto his groin and running down their thighs. "I just know Melo wasn't makin' you cum like this…this pussy only responds to me. Just like this…" he said as he dragged his length along her sweet spot and made her clench him, forcing her to cry out more muffled, panting moans as another stream of her nectar coated him and his dick, making his thrusts into her gushy, tender pussy sound squishy. She hadn’t cum this hard, let alone squirted, in ages…

Yet even in the midst of her high, he still found time to be an arrogant idiot and ruin it, she thought, and she found the time to let it infuriate her as she bit down a little on his palm to make him snatch his hand away from her mouth so she could take a deep breath and chastise him. 

"Ouch! What the hell?" Joe nearly screeched.

"Can you just shut up and fuck me?" Amanda moaned before he retaliated with the hand she bit smacking her ass hard and making her inhale sharply. Their gazes met in the mirror and she saw the same fury she felt flash across his face as he knitted his thick eyebrows together. She also saw within his dark eyes for the first time in a while the same raw passion burning like a torch in the night for her...

"That's what you want, huh? How fast? How hard?" he asked as he snatched her hips to him and picked up the pace of his hips bumping against her until he was pummeling into her. Her moans couldn't keep up with his strokes, especially when he made her throw it back on his dick to hit harder until she felt it in her stomach. She went from holding onto the counter to her upper body being splayed out on it as he pounded her out, shoving her cheek up against the mirror. He felt scarily good in her like this and he knew it, watching her in the mirror just as she squeezed her eyes shut to whimper his name. He grabbed hold of her afro that fell to her shoulders to make her look at him behind her. "What? Speak up. Mmm...now you wanna act like you don't know how to take this dick," Joe said in between rumbling groans. 

"I…I can take it...can you?" Amanda rasped, lying, and it made him breathe a snicker at her question. Yet she could feel him starting to throb inside her as his pounding thrusts lengthened—and she remembered that was his giveaway that he wouldn't last much longer. "You gonna cum for me, Daddy?" she tried him, half-shook that his old nickname tumbled out of her so naturally, half-shook that it seemed to naturally accelerate his pleasure as he tore out of her with a sexy, deep groan.

She felt his warm cum land too high on her backside and she craned her neck to see him with his head thrown back as he stroked himself, another long rope of his cum flying haphazardly onto her shoulder blades and dripping down her back to her dress. "Joe, you're getting it on my clothes!" she yelped in a rage. 

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. Here, let me get it." He stumbled back to snatch a few paper towels from the dispenser on the wall before he wadded them up in his big hands and blotted them where he made a mess. As he did it, she could feel his cum seeping through to her skin, and she jolted upright from the counter.

"No, no, you're making it worse," she hissed before she turned around to examine her dress scrunched up around her waist in the mirror. It looked like someone threw paint on it and she gasped. How the hell was she supposed to blend back in at the bar like this? "Oh my fucking god, it's everywhere," Amanda groaned. 

"My bad. You wanna wear my jacket?" he offered, already shimmying out of it. His orgasm seemed to cool him down but she felt her blood boil as it was already embarrassing to be caught fooling around, and to be covered in his cum for everyone to see or smell because he was too sloshed to aim right made her feel downright stupid.

"No! I’m just gonna go," she said, yanking down her dress and storming over to the door. 

"Amanda, take the damn jacket," Joe said behind her but she ignored him, already bracing herself to just yank open the door and make a beeline to the exit. She walked as fast as her shaky legs in her stupid heels would take her, flying past Kayla at the bar who called out to her and followed her through the crowd before she burst through the doors of the venue and stood outside.

She was breathing heavily from the damn sprint she broke into hoping to get away from everyone's prying eyes, but then tears started streaming down her face. "You forgot your purse," Kayla said behind her, dangling Amanda's gold clutch strap from her fingers, before she added, "Oh, no, babe. What did he do?"

Her friend tried to pull her into a hug but Amanda stopped her and wiped at her tears with the back of her hand. "What he always does. Make me look fuckin' stupid.”

Showing her face at work the next afternoon was excruciating, but it wasn’t like Amanda could call out for the day. Everyone had to have heard by now about what happened at the bar last night, and hiding from it would only make her look even stupider. 

She was grateful that at least Joe didn’t work house shows. His schedule had slowed down since he lost his championship, and she didn’t think he’d make the five-hour bus trip to San Jose just to support the locker room. Not when they were all likely gossiping about them. 

She’d ducked away into the hair and makeup studio that was one of the several little rooms the arena offered as a part of the makeshift backstage area. As she sat on the padded stool, she scrolled through her Instagram feed as she waited for Kayla to write her back. She was thankful for how her friend took care of her drunk ass last night, helping her into an Uber, letting her cry on her, and riding with her to make sure she made it inside her suite. Yet when her phone pinged, it was another message from Josh.

Amanda had ignored the first three, as well as the ones from Sefa and Jon. She read them, though. They were just concerned for her after seeing how she nearly ran out of the bar. She knew they had to know the whole story from their cousin by now, or at least Josh did as his message read: You ain’t gotta talk to me, but please talk to Big Uce. Y’all gotta clear this shit up asap.

And you gotta mind your own business, Amanda thought before her, well, everyone’s stylist, Cassandra, snatched her thoughts with a wide tooth comb through her afro as she put the finishing touches on her hair for the show tonight. She’d already done her makeup with pastel hues of blues shading her eyelids and cherry red on her thick lips. The way she blew out her afro made her feel like Donna Summer when she looked up from her phone to check herself out in the Hollywood vanity mirror.

“You like it?” Cassandra asked in her cute, Puerto Rican accent, meeting her reflection’s gaze. When Amanda smiled weakly, she frowned. “You don’t like it.”

“It’s beautiful, actually. I’m just…I don’t know.” Amanda sucked in a sigh and stared down at her phone, hoping to hear from her friend. She needed her advice on how to proceed: She wanted to talk to Joe, but once again she felt like a dummy to reach out first. He had embarrassed her and, while she knew she could probably blame a lot of it on the alcohol, it made her feel like all he wanted from her was what he got between her legs…

Kayla had reminded her that she, too, wanted him in the same way, but Amanda reminded her that while that was true, she wanted him in every way in the worst way. She was ready to have that talk with him, about where they went wrong and how to fix it because her feelings for him weren’t only tied to his body, but his heart. 

Yet it didn’t feel like he reciprocated that energy with the way he brushed off having a real conversation to rail her against the restroom sink instead.

“I think I know,” Cassandra piped up and Amanda sighed again.

“Oh, I bet you do,” she groaned, ready to hear her come down on her about the incident in the bar.

“I don’t judge you, mami. I think you two will work it out at your own pace.” Cassandra was barely a decade older than her and yet something about the way she spoke to her felt motherly, especially as she ran her fingers through her hair to comfort her. It did cheer her up a little.

“Thank you, girl,” Amanda mumbled. Her phone went off again on her lap and she prayed it was finally Kayla. The number that scrolled across her screen was unsaved but her heart pounded as she knew exactly who it was. 

Can I call you?

Yeah.

She sent the reply quickly and he called immediately. She excused herself from Cassandra and eased up from the stool to step outside of the room. It was still a few hours before showtime so the backstage area wasn’t crowded yet, give or take a few wrestlers and crew hands, and she could hear Joe’s deep, irritatingly melodic voice fill her ear. It threatened to disarm her when she wanted to be mad with him.

“This a good time to talk?” he said.

“As good a time as any, I guess.”

“Yeah, right. You know we had no business talkin’ last night after that many drinks.”

“We didn’t really talk about much from what I recall,” Amanda murmured with slight bitterness seeping into her voice, neglecting the slight thrill that tried to crawl down her spine at the same time at the thought of him making her pussy talk to him...

“Again…we had too much to drink. I’m sorry about your dress.”

“Thanks. Is that it?”

“No. But do you even wanna hear it? You sound like you don’t wanna talk to me.” He sounded frustrated but also hurt like he did when he mentioned their breakup last night. It pierced her heart with self-awareness that made her feel guilty.

“...I do wanna talk to you. I’m just hurt,” she confessed.

“Me, too.”

“Why?” 

“I think you already know. My cousins don’t know how to keep their mouths shut.”

“Joe. Just tell me.” She wanted to hear him say it.

“I’m sick of the games. We been playin’ them for over a year. I’m over it.” She heard Joe let out a sigh before he continued. “I know what happened last night was a mess...but it happened because I missed you. I still miss you.” 

Amanda felt that pang in her heart again but this time from disbelief. She’d been wanting to hear those words from him for so long, but before she could respond, she let her doubt speak for her. “Did you miss me or my pussy?”

“Are you bein’ serious?” Joe’s calm tone rose a bit like he was offended. “I just told you I’m done with the bullshit games, Amanda. Are you?”

She knew he was right. She was letting all the resentment and hurt she held onto for the last year sting at her. It may have made for some good, angry, drunk sex last night, but she didn’t want it to sabotage the conversation she had been yearning to have with him. She bit her tongue while she tried to muster up the words to do what she used to swear he should do before her.

“I’m sorry,” she grumbled softly. “I keep lettin' my feelings fuck with me. It’s just…it took us this long to talk. And before we could even do it, we were doin’ each other. It felt like that’s all it was gonna be and that hurt…because I feel like there’s more here.”

It came out rushing like word vomit. She indeed felt sick to be this vulnerable with him all of a sudden, but she couldn’t deny it felt good to get it out of her system. She worried maybe she bared too much as Joe went silent on the line. She leaned against the wall with her hand over her face, embarrassed all over again. 

“I’m sorry, too,” he finally said. “We were both petty but I know I dragged it. Especially when you got with Melo. That shit ate me up. You know...when you dumped me, it made me feel like you ain’t see it for us the way I did. I know why you did it, though. I made you feel neglected…and I’m sorry, Amanda. And I hope you know why I wanted to talk to you today. ’Cause you’re right…there is more between us. And I want to explore it all.”

Now it was Amanda’s turn to be silent as she fought back the tears welling in her eyes. If he was saying what she thought he was saying…

“Sweetheart,” he said gently in her ear and made a few tears roll along her cheeks to hear his old pet name for her.

“You know I want that, too,” she replied slowly. “So…where do we go from here?”

“I know we can’t exactly pick up where we left off…but I’d love to take you out. On a date. No alcohol or funny business. Just us. A fresh start, in a way.” It made her almost giggle to hear him sound bashful. “How’s that sound?”

“Just tell me when and where…”

Joe told her he’d arrange for a ride to pick her up tomorrow afternoon and bring her to Emerald Bay where he was renting a vacation beach home for the next few days. He apologized for it being an hour ride for her but promised he’d make the first hour she arrived “special” to make it up to her. 

She was hesitant to gush over him so soon, but everything in her wanted to tell him, “Anything with you is special to me.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t forget to bring a swimsuit,” he told her before they hung up, making her smile big to herself. Amanda blotted at her cheeks and hoped she didn’t ruin her makeup, but decided to switch around and go back to Cassandra, anyway, for a small touch-up. As she did, she spotted Christian across the hallway as he stood at the catering table with Bobby as they filled their plates with fruit and cheese. 

She felt herself jolt a bit at the sight of him as she’d forgotten he worked the show tonight. She barely saw him since they split as he worked Tuesday nights and she worked Friday nights. Yet when they did house show tours, they would cross paths like this. And mercifully he kept it moving. Until now. He caught her eyes on him and a smirk danced on his lips before he hung his head and shook it.

He threw two fingers up in a little wave at her before he approached her. Amanda had a feeling she knew what he wanted to talk about, and she felt the urge to run into Cassandra’s studio before he could utter a word, but she stood her ground. If he had something to say, so did she…

“What’s up witchu?” he said nonchalantly, smacking on a piece of cheddar he just popped into his mouth.

“Nothing much. You?” she replied quickly.

“You sure? Look like you been cryin’.” She didn’t know how to read his tone. It wasn’t quite mocking, but didn’t feel quite sincere, either.

“I was. But they were happy tears.”

His eyes widened a bit as he feigned surprise and ate another piece of cheese. “Well, I’m glad to hear that…considerin’ what I heard happened last night.”

“Really, Chris?”

“I just wanted to see if you were okay,” he said, raising his hand. The look in his eyes seemed shockingly genuine out of nowhere.

“I am…thanks. Are you okay? How’ve you been?” Amanda asked timidly. She was stubborn about giving Joe an apology, but she knew she owed Christian one…

“Uh, yeah. I’ve been good, actually.” Her change in attitude seemed to catch him off guard. 

“Good. I’m glad to hear that…and, um, thanks for checkin’ on me.” She met his gaze and her heart thudded to say, “I'm sorry. You know. I don’t mean to bring it up out of the blue like this…I just know you didn’t deserve that, and I’m sorry.”

Amanda prepared herself for whatever clapback he’d sling at her because she knew she had it coming. But she’d take it because she’d been denying for too long the role she played in her own grief—and how it affected other people. She was ready to stop letting her emotions run her in the wrong direction and make things right.

“Wow…I definitely didn’t come over to talk about that,” Christian said and she nodded her head. “...But I appreciate that. For real.”

He paused before he moved in a little closer and gave her an awkward, one-armed hug while holding his plate of food. It made her smile all the same as she hugged him back. 

“Take care of yourself, alright?” he said before he let her go.

“You, too,” she replied as he shot her his pearly whites before heading back over to Bobby. She knew they weren’t going to become friends, and that was okay. Amanda was just satisfied to properly close one chapter of her life so a new chapter could begin…

The dry heat in California was fierce today, the sun hanging in the cloudless sky as Amanda walked out from her hotel lobby. She was from Atlanta so she was no stranger to heat but this was next-level hot. Even her yellow, halter top sundress couldn’t keep her from sweating already. She was outside because got a notification that her Uber was here, and she pulled her cheetah-print luggage behind her as she scanned the curb for her ride.

When she spotted the sleek, black Range Rover, she hurried over and prayed the driver had the A/C cranked to the max. She heard a door on the other side of the truck open and she waited for the driver to come around and open the trunk so she could throw her bags in. Yet when it was Joe who appeared around the corner, her heart leaped in her chest like it always did. 

He looked beyond handsome with his dark hair pulled into a messy ponytail with his black Shady Rays atop his head so she could see his pretty, deep brown eyes on her. His intricate tribal tattoo that covered his right arm was exposed in his white tee shirt that hung onto his every muscle...as did his dark gray joggers. She had to pry her eyes away from his thick print clear as day in them as she met his gaze and made him smile.

“Hey, beautiful. Figured I’d keep you company,” Joe said and put his arms around her for a tight, long hug that made her want to swoon as she inhaled his scent. They took their time pulling apart, the hug feeling like the official kick-off to their reunion, one they didn't want to end so soon. Yet when they finally did, he looked down at her like he wanted to kiss her but refrained. 

“Is a kiss a part of the ‘funny business’?” Amanda asked quietly.

“Hmm, yeah. I think so. If we’re goin’ for a fresh start, we were friends first, remember? And friends don’t kiss,” he taunted and made her return his cute smile. He popped open the trunk and loaded it with her few but big pieces of luggage as she checked out of the hotel, per his request, to spend the next few days with him until her next house show on Wednesday.

“Oh, damn. I didn’t think we were startin' waaaay over like that,” she replied. He chuckled as he opened the door for her and let her slide into the cool backseat before him. The driver had a friendly voice as he greeted them, offering them bottled water as he pulled the truck away from the curb—and Joe pulled Amanda close to him with his arm over her shoulder. Her body flashed with tingles as she felt his fingers caress her beneath her chin as he steered her face up to meet his lips for a brief yet tender kiss. 

“That’s all you’ll get from me because from here on out, we’re havin’ the most innocent and adorable date you’ve ever been on in your life,” Joe said with his sexy smirk. 

“Such a gentleman,” Amanda laughed. “We’ll see how long that lasts...”

Yet the challenge landed solely on Amanda to behave as Joe evidently meant what he said. He planned their date in three parts: A light picnic on the peaceful shores of Emerald Bay, a private beach; a trip to the Pageant of Masters to experience living works of art as they recreated famous paintings; and dinner at the Selanne Steak Tavern where Amanda marveled at how upscale yet cozy their section of the dining room felt—which she learned was because he reserved the room for just the two of them.

It was indeed the most adorable, and well-thought-out, date she’d ever been taken on. Yet as she lounged on the beach in her black bikini after a dip, she found herself shooing away non-innocent thoughts as she admired Joe’s silky, wavy hair that was wet and clinging to his burly, muscular, half-naked body, his navy blue swim trunks barely hanging on around his hips, and revealing his dick print to her again when he came out of the glistening, clear waters to rejoin her on the oversized beach blanket where she was plucking white grapes from the charcuterie board to munch on. 

It didn't help that he dared to crawl to her on his hands and knees and nestle himself between her sandy, thick thighs…only to lie there and grab a few crackers to eat instead of her. It made her giggle, anyway, as they talked. He was such a tease and a goofball as he asked her to time him on how long he could balance a pepperoni stick on the bridge of his nose.

He was also a surprising art connoisseur. Amanda knew Joe had a love of the arts, from music to theater, but she gazed over at him in awe when he was able to name each piece of art the performers on stage brought to life when she was unfamiliar and asked. “I think this one is called ‘A Winter Scene.’ I think, don’t quote me on that,” he whispered in her ear as they sat in the dark arena in opera seats, the spotlight fixed on the stage where Japanese dancers donned vibrant kimonos as snow fell around them. 

She wasn’t sure which moved her to tears, the hauntingly beautiful sounds of the koto that filled the room, or the talented dancers portraying a brilliant resilience to a cold winter, but when she started to sniffle, she felt Joe’s hand slip onto her lap where she rested hers, lacing his big fingers with hers that looked so small with his. His gentle caress as he rubbed his thumb along her skin made her look at him again, and he planted a light kiss on her forehead to make her grin.

When they rolled up to the steak house around seven p.m., the blaring sun was graciously gone. The moonlight was soft as it touched Joe’s face when he hopped out of the Range Rover and extended his hand to help her down safely in her tall, black, strappy heels. Amanda couldn’t take her eyes off how luminous his skin looked even in the night, and how dapper he was in his baby blue suit jacket that struggled to hide his brawny shoulders and biceps. But she loved how the color brought out more of his natural glow. 

She didn’t intend on matching with him, but she just happened to pack a powder blue, silk evening gown that touched the floor yet revealed a peek of her right thigh with its high slit. She did purposefully style her afro into two big afro puff ponytails on her head since she knew it was his favorite look on her. “You look so damn good tonight that it should be a crime. Officer!” Joe called out with his hand next to his mouth and she chuckled, playfully slapping his chest. His other hand didn’t let go of hers on their way inside, and Amanda felt butterflies in her tummy. She hated to feel so sappy but she knew those same feelings had been simmering deep within her for the past year—and now they were bubbling to the surface as Joe made her feel more than just special…but loved.

The “L” word tiptoeing across her mind made her palm feel a bit sweaty in his. They’ve never said that to each other, ever. Amanda sometimes felt it was because they split before they ever got the opportunity…

Because the way they were all day was reminiscent of the soft, delightful vibes they used to be on when they first became friends and then lovers. It was easy to be themselves, share lots of laughter, shy but big grins, and fall into spells of flirting that teetered onto teasingly fondling…

It reminded Amanda of all the reasons she cared for Joe and all the reasons she missed him. She was over the moon that he missed her, too.

“Remember the time I bet you a steak dinner if I spanked you in Uno?” Joe asked after he swallowed a piece of his filet mignon. The chandelier lighting was subtle and allowed the candle on their table to illuminate their plates and faces as they gazed at each other. 

“Oh, yeah. I’ll never forget how you cheated. No one plays Uno like that but you,” she said and he breathed a cute laugh. She moved her fork around her plate as she gathered up another bite of mashed potatoes along with a piece of broccoli. “Didn’t you admit that it was all just a trick to take me out to dinner?” she asked mid-chew.

 “I don’t recall admittin’ that so bluntly, but if you must know…yeah.” He took a sip of his iced water before he added, “I was feelin’ you and I knew you were feelin’ me. But I didn’t wanna just come out and ask you on a date when I knew you worried how’d that look to Hunter.”

“And then look what happened, anyway. Now everyone has an opinion about us,” Amanda sighed. She felt Joe reach his hand across the table to put on hers. His touch made her tingle again.

“I don’t care what anyone has to say about me and you,” Joe said softly. “That shit don’t matter. What matters is how you feel about me and you.”

He looked at her like he expected her to say something like there was a secret question in his words. She knew exactly what that question was…but she was afraid to answer it so soon after they just began to amend things.

But she felt it. It swirled in her heart and made her feel warm all over from his hand still on hers, his eyes holding her gaze. There wasn’t another man alive that could make her feel this way.

“How do you feel?” Amanda asked quietly. She had her own question lingering between the lines of the one she already asked, and when Joe looked at her with slight confusion, she elaborated. “I hope this isn’t the wrong time to bring this up, but I’m curious…I think we both know I got with Chris to try and get over you. Which didn’t work. Was there a time…or a woman…that made you feel like, ‘Damn, I miss Amanda?’ Because I had plenty of those times about you…”

A small grin tugged at his sexy, pink lips as he listened to her nervously ramble her thoughts to form a question. He pulled his hand away to take another sip of water and stared at her with those enticing eyes as he said, “One woman. Only once. About five months ago. It was trash because every time I looked at her, I wanted her to be you so bad. Didn’t bother tryin’ again with anyone else because I knew it’d be the same story. I missed you the entire time…I was just a stubborn asshole.”

“Me, too,” she breathed, feeling her cheeks warm as she blushed at his confession. She was grateful her deep brown skin hid it from him.

“Pinky promise we’re off that shit now?” Joe held his long pinky finger out with another grin. Amanda grinned back as she wrapped her little one around it.

“Pinky promise.”

When they arrived back at Joe’s huge vacation beach home after dinner, Amanda already knew her way around as they’d stopped in and out earlier that day to freshen up after the beach and change into their evening wear for the museum before they had their steaks. She headed upstairs and past four bedrooms before she reached the master bedroom he let her claim. He even gave her privacy to shower and get dressed before they went out. She went now to close the bathroom door, strip, and pad to the grand waterfall shower to climb in. She didn’t really need another shower today, but something about pounding, hot water flooding over her skin soothed her and made her ready for bed.

Although, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to go to bed just yet…

After she finished bathing, she ran through the rest of her nightly routine, moisturizing her skin, brushing her teeth, and pulling on her pajamas. She skipped braiding her hair as she took down her puff ponytails and combed her fingers through it until it framed her face and sat on her shoulders, feeling cute as she looked in the mirror. 

She felt a little odd to do her entire routine with Joe downstairs when back in the day he'd be all over her offering to rub her feet with her body butter. She wondered if he was still being "innocent" or if he'd fallen asleep. Amanda quietly came down the stairs and rounded the corner of the den, and her heart instantly warmed to see his giant body nearly hanging off the little cushions of the sectional sofa.

“You still up?” Amanda called out softly as she neared the back of the sofa. It was only ten p.m. after all. She couldn’t see his face yet as it was pointed to the large, flatscreen television mounted on the wall that played the movie Love Jones. She’d seen it a hundred times and wondered if Joe was actually watching or if it was watching him as she leaned over the couch to inspect.

Suddenly, a pair of big hands flung up and around her waist, pulling her over the backrest. Amanda laughed wildly as she landed on top of Joe, his hands pinning her against him and wiggling along her sides and back to tickle her. “Stop! Stop it or I’m gonna pee!” she warned with rowdy giggles, playfully fighting back as she tried to wriggle free from his grasp.

“That’ll be what you get for sneakin’ up on me,” Joe said with a giggle of his own when she finally gained some control and straddled his lap, tickling his shirtless torso with both her hands. She was grateful she opted for a pink spaghetti-strap tank top and black Soffe shorts instead of the big tee shirt she was going to wear, or else he would have gotten the full view of her the way his hands accidentally lifted her tank. And that wouldn't be very innocent...

“Alright! Truce, truce,” she yelped when she couldn’t take anymore. He stopped attacking her with tickles but kept his hands on her waist, holding her upright as he gazed up at her. It made her skin tingle with that smoldering pull of his and she bit her lip before she said, “Don’t look at me like that, sir. You the one that said this is supposed to be an innocent date.”

“I don’t know if you noticed, but, uh, the date is over. We’re home now…” He squeezed her gently in his hands and slowly rolled his hips beneath her, making her feel him between her thighs as he grew hard behind his black sweatpants. He watched her fight back a moan as he kept grinding his hips to make his stiffness rub along her clit in her shorts before he ran a hand up her chest, palming her bralass, big breasts that fit in his delicate grip along the way to her neck. When he squeezed her again with his big fingers around her throat, they locked eyes as she let out a soft moan, putting a devilish smirk on his lips. “We can be good, though, if that’s what you want…" Joe said as he applied a little more pressure to her throat, right beneath her jaw, watching how it made her whimper to him as she closed her eyes. "...but good girls don’t moan like that ’cause they like bein’ choked.”

“Joe, you play too much,” Amanda moaned again as he gripped her throat and nudged his now fully hard bulge to her clit. She wrapped her hands around his wrist but made no effort to pull him away as he knew as well as she did that there was too much heat rising between them to stop now.

“I’m not playin’, sweetheart…” he replied before he lifted her into his arms and sat her on the sofa. She saw that mischievous glint fill his dark eyes as he slid off the cushions and to the floor. He planted himself between her thighs and slowly ran his hands up them until his fingers met her shorts that he slowly rolled down her legs. His eyes never left hers as he did, their gazes fixed on one another, her heart racing, as he spread her thighs apart and pressed soft kisses along her skin that made Amanda shiver. When he put her thighs on his broad shoulders, he leaned in closer to graze his lips on her lower lips, taking a moment to inhale her intimate scent before he said, “You know what’s crazy? I missed you so bad that I even missed how you smell. You still smell the same…and good.”

Amanda mumbled her thanks as Joe left a delicate kiss on her pussy lips as he breathed in her scent again. When his long tongue slid from between his full lips, she felt herself quiver in anticipation to be devoured by him…and he didn't disappoint as he gently split her and tasted her in one fell swoop, letting his tongue slowly crawl along her slick folds as he got his mouth reacquainted with her pussy that was sticky and wet for him before he hardly even touched her. 

The sight of him with his large hands around her thighs, his eyes closed as he concentrated on lapping at her and licking up the wetness he made, was just as sexy as the feel of him curling his tongue all over her pussy. “I missed your mouth, oh, my goood,” Amanda whined, gripping the backrest of the sofa with one hand while the other laid on her chest as she lightly pinched and pulled her nipple through her tank top.

“I missed how you taste…” Joe murmured in between pressing his mouth to her and licking in and out of her little entrance, his tongue long enough that she could feel him on her g-spot as he fucked her with it. She shook with a moan, her orgasm trying to hunt her down as she watched him pull back to bring a hand to her pussy and tease his middle finger into her. He twirled it on her g-spot, continuing the work his tongue started and making her whine softly to him. “I didn’t even think to eat this pussy the other night ’cause I was stupid and drunk,” he added in a whisper. “But I need to taste your cum, sweetheart. So, you better cum for me.”

He pushed his finger inside more as he spoke, deeper until only his knuckle was visible before he slowly pumped it in and out, twisting it with each thrust to knead her sweet spot and make her body tremor with moans that grew louder. Their eyes fastened together as he did so before Joe put his mouth back on her clit to suckle it onto his tongue, surrounding her sweetest spot with his lips and licks that made her squeeze her eyes shut as her heated orgasm finally took her down. 

“Joe! Don’t stop...unhhhh,” Amanda cried as she came, her body moving on its own as her hips bucked uncontrollably. She put a hand on the back of his head, grabbing at his ponytail to wrap around her wrist as she grinded on his tongue. Joe let her ride his face for as long as she wanted, enjoying himself as he greedily slurped on her and held her to his mouth by her thighs as he sipped on her nectar that tried to ooze down his beard until she was overwhelmed with pleasure.

She knew her face gave it away that he had her pussy reeling from his relentless tongue as her mouth hung open and her eyelids hung low, but Joe didn’t let her rest for too long. He pulled his finger from her depths to lick away the rest of her cum before he stood and tugged off his sweatpants that had no boxers underneath...just hard, long dick and taut balls that all bounced against his muscular thighs. Amanda didn’t get to see it much when they fooled around in the restroom because, like Joe said, they were being stupid and drunk, but taking it in for the first time in a long time made her pussy clench around nothing. She knew he was huge, felt that for a fact when he tore up only a day ago and she was still slightly sore, but to see all nine beautiful, chocolate brown inches of him as his blunt dickhead dripped with a thick string of pre-cum that stuck to his thigh was something magnificent to behold.

“Unnhhh, baby, damn…this pussy still tight,” Joe cooed to her when he got back on his knees and pushed into her, her pussy clamping around him along with her thighs around his waist. “You been doin’ kegel exercises?” His deep voice rasped like he was on the edge of his orgasm already, his body hunched over as he trembled slightly with each hefty thrust. It made Amanda both giggle softly and moan with him as she slipped her arms around his big body to hold him closer to her.

“No, baby. You just have a big ass dick, fuuuck.” She tried not to scream it in his ear as he broke her in again on his thick dick, his girth easily expanding her tender pussy walls as he dug deeper and deeper inside. He fit perfectly, even if he had to make himself fit, and she groaned his name as she lightly scratched her nails along his spine as he began to tap on hers.

“And you have good ass pussy. The best pussy. Got me wantin’ to cum…but not yet,” Joe moaned as he straightened up and brought her thighs together to pin them to the cushion she lay on. He used his other hand to gently roll Amanda onto her side, all while still throwing deep strokes in and out of her that felt even damn deeper once he hit from this angle. She snatched a squared, decorative pillow nearby into her hands for something to hold onto as Joe now gripped her thigh with both hands and thrust harder, but not faster. “Look at me, baby…look at us,” he commanded when she smothered her face in the pillow to scream and bite at it. She felt his big hand slip up her body and to her throat again as he made her meet his eyes with his strong grip before she stared down at his hips knocking on hers, his dick disappearing inside her and filling her stomach. "Look how good we look together, baby," he whispered.

“Unnhhh, shit, Daddy,” Amanda squeaked as he choked her just enough to make her pussy flutter once around his dick as he started to pound her out. He seemed to refuse to hurry his pace, but she didn't mind as he made her eyes roll in her head as he hammered his heavy dick into her like the strokes of the second hand of an analog clock. Slow...steady...over...and over…

“That’s right, baby…Daddy's here now. And he ain't goin' anywhere. Mmm...I make this pussy feel good, baby?” Joe said, his tone saturated with his usual haughtiness that reminded her of how he was talking that shit the other night. And even though he was absolutely right, she didn’t want him to have the last word…not this time.

“Yessss…you make me feel so good...that’s why I wanna feel you cum in me. Mmm, it feels too good, Daddy,” Amanda purred. She loved how that made his eyes widen before a moan escaped him. She knew he loved the sound of that and she was just being honest. It did feel amazing when he poured into her like that. Physically…and on a strange level, emotionally. She never let a man before or since him do that to her. It was only for Joe because she was only for him…

And as she started to feel him throbbing in her just from her mentioning it, she purred again, “I want to feel you cum in this pussy, Daddy. Right now.”

“Yeah? If you want Daddy’s cum, you have to cum again, sweetheart,” Joe grunted as his hips jerked back with another twitch of his dick. She knew he was hanging on by a thread, she could feel it…and it made her pussy flutter again as he wedged himself into her. She needed to feel his pleasure flood her so she obeyed him and shifted her thighs until she was able to squeeze them together and put pressure on her clit. She moaned gruffly as she found the right angle, making him moan, too, as he watched her flex her thick, brown thighs to match the rhythm of his thrusts. “There you go, baby…fuck, you’re so beautiful like this,” he softly growled. 

He kept his hands on her throat and thigh, encouraging her orgasm further when decided to swivel his dick slowly to tease her g-spot. “Cum for me, Daddy…cum with me.” Amanda’s needy moans touched the ceiling high above as she felt her heart thrum with warm waves of pleasure that crashed into her. She felt her pussy contract and pull around him as she came hard, her nectar spilling all over him…which made him throb and shoot his warm, stringy ropes of his cum into her. "Yesss, Daddy, give it to me...who does this dick belong to, baby?" she found the nerve to say in between spasms of her delicious climax making her shudder beneath him.

Joe shuddered, too, with the fiery orgasm that he pounded into her, his fingers gripping her so tight that she'd probably have bruises. It made her moan all the same as he moaned to her, "It's yours, baby, unhhh…and this pussy is all mine. I love this pussy...I love you.” 

Her heart thundered in her chest at his words as surely she misheard him…but when he leaned over with one hand remaining on her thigh and the other caressing her cheek, he kissed her lips softly and whispered again, “I love you, Amanda.”

“I love you, too,” she breathed between his sweet kisses, cradling his face in her hands and stroking her thumbs over his soft beard as he gave himself to her, as she gave herself to him. It reminded her of the first time all those months ago they entwined like this and how she knew then what she certainly knew now: Amanda was deeply, wildly, unequivocally in love with Joe. She had never stopped loving him.

And like the first time they shared this experience, he rested his heavy body on top of hers as they panted together and held each other in their arms. She snuggled her nose to her chest, getting high on his god scent as her fingers found themselves on his head to play with the hair of his loose ponytail.

They stayed like that for hours or until their breathing returned to normal, whichever came first. As Joe gradually pulled out and leaned back slightly to look into Amanda’s eyes, he kissed her again before he said, “I meant that, by that way.”

“I did, too,” she replied in a hushed tone. She propped herself up onto her elbows which brought her lips to his again that of course she kissed, and she gave one to the tip of his nose, too. “You know what this means now, right?” she asked.

“What’s that, sweetheart?” he said with a grin that made her light up with a smirk, too.

“This means we’re dating again. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

The laugh that rumbled through him made his shoulders shake before he hugged her tighter in his arms. “I can live with that,” Joe said. “I’ve been yours for a long time now. And you’re mine.”

.

.

.

Thanks for reading! 🖤

Better late than never, right? 😅

Thank you all for your patience and love for this series!

It makes me wanna cry cuz "The Quiet Game" was my first fanfic that I ever shared online and I was NERVOUS, but you all made me feel like a part of the community immediately. 🥹

I've met soooo many amazing people, friends, and writers because of my silly lil Roman smut, and I couldn't be more grateful for ya'll. 💖

This series is my baby and now it's finished. 🥲 I hope ya'll enjoy!

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#roman reigns #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns fanfic #roman reigns smut #roman reigns x oc #roman reigns one shot #roman reigns imagine #wwe smut #wwe imagine #spilled ink #poc writer #Youtube

[scrollonso]

Crazy In Love¹

A Strollonso AU where Fernando succeeds the Spanish throne and makes it his goal as king to make the Prince of France his groom. (3.4k words, dark!nando) [@catboysracing] {l could've made nando a lot worse but I didnt want this to be 10k words 😭 this is a very rushed rough draft so if i make this a series it'll be more drawn out,, or maybe not idek its 02:26 im tired ☠️}

Lawrence stepped out of his carriage, holding his hand out to his wife as she carefully placed a foot on the ground, using Lawrence's shoulder for support as she planted both of her shoes on the stone pathway below them.

Lance peeked his head out before exiting, following his fathers lead in holding out his hand to help his sister, Chloe, out as well. His other siblings had already been married off and attending this ball in the Royal Palace of Madrid was his parents' way of finding their youngest children suitors.

"Very good, my boy" The king praised before the four of them began their walk into the palace. They were shown to the ballroom where most of the guests were straight away. The room was all white with gold detailing, artwork littered on the ceiling as spirals of gold framed the dozens of doors surrounding them

"Pardon me" The queen spoke softly, lightly touching her husbands arm before disappearing through the crowd to make her way to Maria Theresa the Archduchess of Austria.

"Excuse me, Father, Can I go speak with Marie?" Chloe spoke seconds later, her father simply nodding at the girls request. She smiled and muttered a thank you before finding her way to her friend, similarly to her mother.

Lance hated these things. Being in a closed space full of hundreds of people. He couldn't help the sour expression on his face as he looked around the bright room, eyes settling on his half brother Esteban. Lance was more than aware of his fathers infadelity and how he had three children with other women. Lance wasn't too fond of the younger two but he'd grown up close with Esteban and his mother Pauline de Mailly.

"Stop scowling, Lance." Lawrence spoke sternly, greeting his youngest son with a slap to his back

"Sorry, Father." Lance spoke, quick to fix his face as he turned to the king "May I be excused, Father? Esteban is on the other side of the ballroom."

"Go on."

Lance couldn't help but smile as he reached Estebans side, being quick to give him a nod

"Votre Altesse" Esteban hummed, trying to stop himself smiling as his little brother rolled his eyes at the title, he never called Lance Your Majesty unless he was teasing the younger boy "Brother, How are you?"

"I'm well, how long have you been here?"

"Oh, not long. Me and my mother arrived no more than an hour ago." Esteban spoke, Lance nodding at the response

"Have you had any of the food?" Lance asked, hoping his brother would say no so they could eat together

"I have not, shall we go together?" Lance smiled once more, nodding as he followed the older man to the long table of food and refreshments.

Fernando was speaking with Duke Maximilian III Joseph of Bavaria regarding the state of their allies during the ongoing war when he first spotted the French prince, his justaucorps a warm brown embroidered with intricate and colourful flowers. The boys hair was long and wavy, he was constantly brushing it out of his face as he spoke with the slightly older man next to him.

The new king was unsure of who the man next to him was but he was well aware of who Lance was. Fernando had met with Lawrence the second Ferdinand had died, as the new king it was his duty to keep up alliances between the dynasties. With Spain and France being the largest two dynasties as of then, having a relationship with Lawrence was very important to him.

As the conversation came to an end he excused himself to find the Frenchman again, pleased at how easy it was. He was standing off to the side as the man from before spoke with a woman from Sweden, Fernando taking the opprotunity to finally speak to him.

"Monseigneur Lance, it's a pleasure to meet you." Fernando bowed his head, holding a hand out to the shorter prince who's eyes shot up, they were hazel and seemed to sparkle in the dimly lit room.

"Sire," Lance spoke softly, taking Fernandos hand as the Spaniard placed a kiss on his knuckles, the younger boys face flushing pink at the usually meaningless action "the pleasure is all mine."

"I hope your journey here wasn't too strenous, it's a long ride from Versailles." Fernando spoke, letting go of the boys hand then stepping back slightly

"Of course not, I always prefer the carriage rides to the actual balls, anyway" he stated matter-of-factly, only realizing how rude it sounded seconds later. "Apologies, I'm not sure why I said that."

Fernando smiled, covering his mouth to let out a small laugh "There's no need to apologize, I feel the same."

Lance wasn't sure how to respond, all he could do was flash the king a smile, not expecting to relate to him of all people.

"Is it stuffy in here to you?" The Spaniard asked, cocking his head to the side before continuing "Would you like to ride around with me? Get some fresh air."

"I'd love to." The teenager responded with no hesitation, face lighting up at the idea

"Let's go, then. I'll give you a personal tour of my dynasty as long as you'll return the favour." Fernando said, holding his hand out once more, but this time to steal Lance away

Fernando stood beside the door of the carriage, helping the prince get in before getting in himself. It was nice, Lance thought, being treated how princesses are treated. As the carriage began moving he couldn't get the feeling of the Spanish mans lips on his knuckles out of his mind, it was embarrassing just how much he had replayed it already.

"Will your family be staying the night? Most of my guests are but if you're leaving before dawn I'll be sure to return you in time." The king spoke, Lance's eyes focusing on the mans mouth as his lips moved, hardly registering his words.

"I'm sure we will be, my mother and sister prefer to get a decent amount of rest before returning home after balls."

"Perfect, that gives us plenty of time, then." Fernando nodded to himself, moving to sit on the same side as Lance as he pulled back the curtains, the sunset illuminating the streets perfectly.

The smaller boys eyes found their way outside, practically twinkling as he admired just how gorgeous it looked at this time of day

"It's beautiful" He whispered, not bothering to turn and see the older mans reaction

"It is" The Spanish man said quietly, he knew what Lance meant, the landscape was beautiful. Of course Fernando knew that, he lived here, but he only thing he could see was the Prince next to him, he was truly beautiful.

The two continued down the road for a few more minutes before they reached town, Fernando noticing his guards escorting Jesuits from their home right away. He swiftly closed the curtains and began distracting Lance, not wanting the sweet boy to witness the men in black cassocks being pushed and shoved through the streets of the small town they had entered. The new king had made it his first order to expel every resident of the Spanish Empire that was concerningly loyal to the Pope as soon as he had been crowned. He would never admit it as he was too full of pride but he felt threatened by the men devoting themselves to the pope. He was above the pope. He was king. He had power and he was going to make sure every commoner he ruled over was aware of that.

"Hm?" Lance hummed as he noticed the curtains draw shut, turning his body to face the larger man, having not taken in just how drastic their size difference was. Not only was there a difference in power from Spanish King to French Prince but there was also a difference in aura, the mans eyes on him felt intimidating, Lance gazing hesitently at the man as the carriage fell quiet, Fernandos lidded eyes not leaving Lance's for a second

"We're rebuilding in this area, I'd hate for you to see how much of a mess it is right now." He lied, the words slipping off of his tongue as if they were as true as scripture, reciting it as if it was a verse he'd spent weeks remembering.

The credulous boy just nodded, having way too much trust in the man he'd become acquainted with just minutes prior.

"I'm sure it looks fine, every part of your kingdom I've seen so far has been stunning." The Frenchman reassured, wondering if maybe the new King was insecure about the state of his colonies.

"Why, thank you, Monseigneur Lance." Fernando smiled, partially because of the sweet words coming from the boy at his side but also because of just how easy he was to trick "you're too kind."

"No need to be so formal, Your Majesty." Lance scooted back, eyes following Fernando as his arm moved to open the curtains once more, now far enough away from his men to insure Lance saw nothing. "It's just us"

"If I'm to just call you Lance then please, call me Fernando."

"Well, Fernando." Lance started, looking outside of the carriage before turning back to the man "Can you tell me more? About your dynasty. I've only learned what's in the books"

"You've read books about my kingdom?" Fernando laughed dryly, finding it funny how the Prince of France spent his free time reading about the Spanish Empire.

"I've read about many things." Lance nodded, locking his fingers together in his lap "My Father would rather me learn than fight in the war."

"Ah, yes." Fernando nodded, having forgotten about what was currently happening on his allies land. "I understand where he's coming from. I was hesitant to put my sons in command as well."

"How many sons do you have, Fernando?" Lance asked, not having read much about the new kings family

"Three, they're all around your age" Fernando looked outside, smiling to himself as he watched Lance turn to look as well "Carlos is my eldest, then Lando, then my youngest boy Oscar."

"You have only sons?" Lance asked, still looking outside, watching as their surroundings began to get darker and darker

"Yes, just three boys."

"What about their mother? There isn't a queen, is there?"

Fernando shook his head, leaning on the wall behind him before responding, arms crossed over his chest as he watched "Their mother died a few years ago, Tuberculosis they think."

"Oh." He whispered, only now turning to look at the Spaniard, biting his lip slightly in an effort to hide his newfound discomfort "I'm sorry, I- I didn't know."

"Don't apologize." He spoke, harsher than he had before. "Was nothing I could do, the boys are old enough to deal with it and I had more important things to do than wallow in my own self pity."

Lance just nodded, fidgeting with his fingers as he avoided the Spaniards gaze, feeling embarrassed for even bringing it up, although a part of him was relieved to find out the King didn't have anyone at his side

The man reached out to grab Lance's hand, quickly letting his coachman know they were getting out and to wait for them.

The naive Prince followed blindly, letting the man ahead of him pull him through unfamiliar land as if they'd known one another all their lives. Fernando couldn't help but take note of everything Lance was so quick to let him do to him, he couldn't help but wonder just how far he could push it.

They eventually reached a short stone pathway and at the end was a small pavillion with a bench nestled towards the back where plants were growing up the wood. By then it'd gotten darker, Fernando glad to have matches on him as he lit the lamps around the wooden structure

"Woah" Lance breathed out, admring the garden he'd found himself in as Fernando dusted off the bench, still holding onto the boys hand as he pulled him to take a seat

"I haven't been here in ages. I figured if I was going to go back it'd be fun to not be alone." Fernando hummed, the last time he was here he'd killed his father.

"Gosh, if I lived closer I'd spend all my time here!" Lance laughed, smiling up at the man who had yet to take a seat

"I used to, when I became King the first time I hardly had time" He spoke, looking around as soon as he finished, eyes falling on the steps in front of him, the place he'd met his father before quite literally stabbing him in the back. It was what the old bastard deserved. Without his actions Ferdinand would've never became king and Fernando would still be stuck in Naples.

"The first time?" Lance hummed, unbuttoning his justacourps and sliding it off before folding it neatly in his lap

"Si." Fernando nodded, finally taking a seat next to the Prince "Before my brother died I was the king of Naples and Sicily. My eldest, Carlos, is taking over as soon as he finishes being stubborn about his knightly duties."

The boy laughed, he'd grown so used to just hearing people around him speak that everything about Fernandos accent made his sarcasm even funnier. "You're very experienced, Fernando"

"I am." He confirmed, meaning it in more ways than the innocent boy could imagine. As a ruler? Yes, of course. Killer? He supposes. Husband? To some extent. Sexually? Very.

"How long did you rule over Naples and Sicily?" He asked, eager to learn more about the mysterious man beside him

"Twenty-four years, I took over when I was eleven so my mother helped me rule until I was married off and began having children."

"Wow, I feel like I haven't done anything as prince" Lance laughed, tracing the neatly done sewing on the cloth he had on his lap "My father took over France at five, his mother helped him until he was thirteen as well, but sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be king."

"You could be my king." The Spaniard spoke calmly, not sure why Lance began to react the way he did

"Hm?" He questioned, unsure if he was understanding the mans accent correctly

"Be my king. I have no bride, nor do I have a groom." The man shrugged, watching as Lance's facial expression controrted "It is not the 16th century anymore, is normal to have two kings, Lancito."

Lance was aware that it'd become more normalized to see two men ruling side by side, a part of him had always yearned for the connection between a King and his King Consort but until now he'd figured it'd just been out of pure curiosity and a need to figure out the unknown

"Are you asking me to madry you, Fernando?" Lance asked, knowing it seemed obvious enough but he had to be sure, maybe this was just a Spanish thing.

"Consider it." Fernando spoke, holding Lance's hands in his own "Don't say no straight away, this will give us both what we want."

"I'm not sure my father would say yes-" Lance began, eyebrows furrowing as the Spaniard cut him off

"You're father likes me, I'm sure he'll be delighted to hear his son has been proposed to by none other than his greatest allies king."

"I know, I'm just not sure he'll be comfortable with me being so far from home." Lance's voice got quieter as he spoke, not wanting his words to upset the man before him

"I'll take you to visit every chance we get, it'll be like you never left." His voice softened, realizing that if he was to get the French Kings son to marry him he'd have to play nice.

"Well, then.." He dragged out his words, looking at their hands together before responding. There was such a drastic contrast between them, the Spaniards naturally tan and thicker hands making the boys pale and lanky hands seem even smaller. "I suppose" He finished, figuring he wouldn't find anyone better than the Spaniard. He'd seen his siblings get married to ugly and unjust aristocrats that he was relieved someone so kind was asking for his hand in marriage.

The taller mans lips curled, he quickly stood up and pulled Lance to him, the Frenchman leaving his coat on the bench beside where he'd sat before being greeted by the sudden feeling of lips on his.

It was embarrassing to think about how bad of a kisser he had to be. He just tried to follow Fernandos lead, fingers trailing over the gold detailing of his dresscoat as the kiss began to deepen, the kings hands finding their way to the boys waist to pull them even closer, bodies practically connected as Lance settled on the tips of his toes in order to make this easier.

Once Fernando pulled away Lance felt light headed, lips now puffy and red as he breathed harshly, covering his face from the man out of pure embarrassment.

"Do not hide from me, Lancito." He cooed, leaning over to pull the boys hands from his face, thumb brushing over his lips before he spoke again "te ves guapo" the king whispered, Lance unable to hold back a smile as he registered Fernandos words, face flushing a familiar pink as the man called him beautiful.

"We should get back" Lance said softly, face turning to meet the Spaniards gaze as his hands lingered on his chest

"You're right, I should probably ask for your fathers blessing, eh?" They laughed, the prince nodding as the older man grabbed a lantern, calmly finding the way back to the carriage

Fernando couldn't keep his hands off Lance during the short ride back, hand inching further up the boys thigh as his face got hotter, now hidden in the collar of his casaca. It was painfully obvious how inexperienced the boy was, Fernando wasn't sure what he'd done in his past life to deserve such a reward but he was beyond grateful.

It didn't progress past teasing touches, Fernando curious to see just how worked up he could get the boy before he disappeared back into the ballroom to speak to his father.

The answer was very, as they came to a stop outside the palace Lance couldn't hide the look of pure arousal on his face as he felt the Spaniards hands leave, whining at the feeling of his touch fading

"Fer..." He whispered, grabbing weakly onto the mans sleeves as he begged for just a little more

"Patience, let's see what your father says before continuing this, mi rey" Fernando negotiated, kissing the boys jaw softly before exiting the carriage, disappearing inside before Lance had the chance to follow behind.

"How have you been, Your majesty?" The King asked, earning a short response from his ally. "I've come to ask something of you, if you don't mind."

"Go ahead" Lawrence nodded, watching the Spaniard with curiousity

"I'd like to ask for your blessing, King Lawrence." He stated plainly, looking the man in front of him in the eyes "I'd like to make your son my King Consort."

Lawrence nodded right away, arm moving to pat the tanned mans back, smiling similarly to Lance "I'd love to give you my son, I'm shocked you felt the need to ask, Sire."

They both laughed, Lawrence's practically coming from his stomach as he closed his eyes, Fernando returning a short, knowing, and dry laugh.

Lance wandered back into the ballroom, greeted with a light hug from his mother, it wasn't normal in his family for her to show affection to him like this so he was almost worried something had gone wrong but as soon as he saw Lawrence and Fernando side by side he knew what'd happened, he was now set to marry the King of Spain.

#f1 #formula 1 #lance stroll #fernando alonso #aston martin #ls18 #strollonso #fa14 #crazy in love au #royalty au #1700s #spanish empire #french empire #evil king #innocent prince #opposites attract #innocence kink lowkey #idk if im gonna write smut for this #power imbalance #height difference #swapped heights #f1 au #strollonso au #rpf #fanfic #alternate universe #real person fiction #fan fiction #f1 rpf #lance is so naive

[reveluving]

a little more love ; peter hale x reader x deucalion

summary: when two of the most fearsome werewolves do whatever they can to convince their beloved to cancel dinner night with the pups.

warnings: loads of kisses, hugs and but no s~mut. not yet, at least (still, minors DNI!), very cheesy ngl; peter & deuc just really love their vampire wifey &lt;3

a/n: omg a debut?? s/o to @fanficimagery​; their Peter fics + others are the reasons why I wrote this—awakening another wild side of of mine to the point of no return (affectionately) 😭 I got another one in the making tho, trust! love y’all and don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

» fancy reading the series? check out the m.list!

'Though Deuc and Peter chimed in once in a while, the pack could tell they were giving you most of the spotlight.' ;

The sound of blackbirds chirping outside your window was enough to wake you up from your slumber. You stirred but could barely move with the arm around you and pulling you close. Their chest rose and fell at a pace so relaxing, so comforting, it could've lulled you back to sleep right away.

"Did you sleep well?" You shivered at the voice, deep and barely awake, forcing you to crack one eye open. You craned your neck, welcoming the very sight of the man holding you dearly. You hummed, eliciting a chuckle out of him as you nuzzled into him.

"You're so comfy." You murmured, the silky sheets against your skin would've been more than enough to chain you to bed for another hour or two.

Too bad you had other plans.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" You blinked, noticing the hues ranging from orange to pink coming from the window, an indication that sunset was nearing faster than you had anticipated.

"You looked so peaceful." Deuc responded casually as if you hadn't promised the pack dinner night, which was happening in two hours.

"I didn't even hear the alarm." You blindly took your phone on the nightstand, finding it impossible for you to sleep through one in the first place.

But, Deuc's sudden lack of response told you everything you needed to know.

So, you placed your phone away before turning to him.

"Deuc," He hummed, "Did you have anything to do with this?"

"No?"

"Deuc!"

He barely opened his eyes to look at you before huffing out a 'yes'.

"Can't we just order takeout?"

"Even they can do that from their own home," You grinned, poking his cheek, "And you know no one delivers to this side of the road past seven."

"Then we could always just order now and ask one of them to pick it up later," He was hell-bent on making you stay, the offer especially enticing when he pulled the covers over you with him, "Or better yet, ask him to pick it up and make himself useful for once."

You snorted, only to jump when fingers lightly traced your spine.

"Hey," You admonished lightly, "Behave."

"You can't expect a man to behave when he has such beauty in his arms." He slipped his hand under the blanket, "Come on, all you have to do is cancel it, and we'll make sure to take such good care of you."

You whined, squirming in his arms as though you were fighting your inner demons before sitting up, but not before covering your bare chest with the blanket.

"Nice try, handsome, but I’m not falling for your tricks." You pointed directly at his nose, only to sputter when he countered your sudden determination by nipping the tip of your index finger.

"Angel, you always do," Touché, "The pups can fend for themselves for another day, can't they?"

"Deuc," You sighed shaking your head in amusement; you could never get mad at him. You turned your head a little, kissing his palm before caressing his cheek with your free hand, "I haven't seen them for over a week, God knows whether or not they've taken care of themselves since. It's only for a couple of hours, I promise."

Deuc narrowed his eyes at you, trying not to give in to your puppy eyes.

But he knew better.

He let his head fall to the pillow, letting out a dramatic sigh.

"Alright, alright," You perked up, only to be caught off guard when he wrapped his arms around you. He pulled you down to him for a heated kiss, taking your breath away as his tongue lightly ran across the tip of your fangs. Your whimpers only motivated him to take back his own words and never let you leave the bed, but he loved you too much to say no.

He pulled away, satisfied with the way you looked back at him with wide eyes.

"You didn't think I'd expect some sort of return if I'm going to have to keep my hands to myself for a few hours?"

Puffing up your cheeks in embarrassment, you were barely able to maintain eye contact as intense as his before giving him a quick peck at the lips.

"Angel," He chuckled, "If that's the kind of payment you're planning to give, I'd expect at least a couple more."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Very much," He responded nonchalantly as though he wasn't practically basking in your reactions, "In fact, I could wake up to this every day."

There was no point arguing with this man, not especially when you had dinner to whip up in under two hours. So, you took a deep breath, lowering yourself for a proper kiss. Deuc was eager, that much was clear as he chased after your lips, keeping you still with one hand on the back of your head.

He shivered as you lightly ran your nails down his chest, slowly pulling away before letting you rest your head on his shoulder.

"Much better."

It had taken Deuc exactly a good half an hour to get his fill of you before begrudgingly letting you go to take a shower, promising to help you out right after.

You, on the other hand, have been at it in the kitchen for an hour, seasoning your stroganoff before moving on with the dessert.

Just then, you froze, feeling a pair of eyes from the living room watching your every move. You slowly placed the bowl of unwhipped cream onto the counter, hoping to look as neutral as possible. The presence, however, had seen right through you, because as soon as you faced the entrance to the foyer, you felt their warm breath against your neck before they spun you around. You yelped, feeling yourself fall backwards despite their hands securely holding onto your hips.

Your hands shot up to their back, one around his neck and the other gripping the back of their shirt. Had it been anyone else, other than Deuc, you would've instinctively torn their throat out even before they could even put their hands on you.

But, this was Peter you were talking about.

"What's cookin', good lookin'?"

‘You've got to be kidding me.’

"Jesus, Hale," He was clearly proud of himself, the debonair smile on his face especially growing when you released the grip on his shirt in favour of covering a part of your face, thoroughly embarrassed, "That is by far the worst line I've ever heard, coming from you."

"Oh, I know," He shrugged, leaning in closer, "But it's worth seeing that pretty face of yours scrunch up like that."

He pressed his lips against yours before you could even respond with a snarky remark, pulling away just as fast in favour of the adorable stupefied look you always had each time he or Deuc had taken you by surprise.

"But it does smell good in here." He brought up back up from the dip before taking a good whiff of your homemade gravy in the pot.

"Only the best for the best," You mused, hearing him purr in agreement for a moment before adding, "Oh, and for you too, I guess."

He was speechless, to say the least. At least for a while.

"Why, you," He didn't even give you the time to turn away before he attacked your neck and collarbone with wet kisses, the exaggerated sounds of his smooches growing louder the more you cried out to him to stop.

He did, eventually, but he made sure he gave you enough to sag in his arms, resting against him for a moment as he mumbled against your cold skin.

"Would be nice if we had the night to ourselves." Oh. You covered your face yet again, now with both of your hands.

"Not you too," You felt the chuckle vibrating through him, "You and Deuc planned this, didn't you?"

"Depends," He drawled, clearly feigning ignorance, "Is it working?"

Fuck yeah, it is.

"You're gonna have to try harder than that."

Big mistake.

Your mouth gaped open wide as though you had surprised yourself, knowing he had taken your statement as a challenge when he pursed his lips.

"Challenge accepted."

You squeaked as he pulled you to his chest, one of his hands remained on your hips while raising the other that he intertwined with yours. You were sure his eyes had dilated, enjoying the way you bashfully look up at him through your lashes, gasping as soon as his hand crept up past the hem of your shirt.

"Peter," You giggled nervously, "Where is that hand going?"

He hummed.

"Places."

Just then, he switched directions, sliding further down before moving under the waistband of your shorts.

"Places where I'd want to touch," Down, "To kiss," Up, "To lick," Down, "To nibble on."

Each time his hands move, no matter where they ended up, all you could do was shiver. He dipped his head, nibbling on your earlobe.

"If and only if my angel says so."

He was seeking your permission—just like Deuc did.

"I want to," Oh? "But later, okay?" Oh. You tried not to giggle as he deflated from your answer, "Especially since the two of you haven't made it any easier for me to say no today."

Not that you'd ever deny these two whatsoever.

"Please?" You cupped his face, thinking through your next words before mumbling, "Just hold on for a few hours and I'm all yours and Deuc's."

His eyes dilated from the mere promise, holding onto both of your hands and pulling you in to capture your lips with his. It was as deep and passionate as the one you had with Deuc, your legs nearly buckled if it wasn't for his quick reflex.

"Pretty girl, you'll be the death of me."

The audacity.

"Oh, like you're any better," You rolled your eyes playfully, "Now, you either help me with the potatoes or take these plates and march out to the dining room."

He opted for the potatoes, occasionally leaving kisses on your shoulders and nearly causing you to burn the caramel sauce that you were making to pair with your homemade ice cream.

Deuc came down to the kitchen a little while later, only to shoot a glare at Peter for putting him on dishes duty. You saw the way Peter smirked as Deuc stalked out, dropping his expression to a barely innocent kind when he noticed you watching him.

"A grump, let me tell you," Peter commented, not bothering to lower his voice and earning himself a growl from the other room. You silently giggled before pushing him lightly.

Quarter past seven, and you walked out to serve the big pot of stroganoff and a whole bunch of sides in the dining room, where Deuc had just finished wiping the last cutlery. As soon as he did, he wrapped one arm around you, resting his head against your tummy. You could tell he was a little miffed over the petty arrangement, so you leaned in and kissed the crown of his head a couple of times, drawing a soft laugh from him.

No doubt Peter had seen you trying to cheer Deuc up and would probably cage you in his arms until you do the same for him.

A couple of hugs and hundreds more kisses later, the pack finally arrived, their exhaustion from surviving the week palpable as they greeted you with hugs or the Hale's exchanging meaningful pleasantries with you.

Deuc and Peter watched as your face continued to light up, from scooping a generous portion of noodles and stroganoff to listening to each and every one of them about the rough week they all had. Though Deuc and Peter chimed in once in a while, the pack could tell they were giving you most of the spotlight. This dinner was your idea, after all, treating the pack with the endless amount of love you had to offer. They only helped you out, though they'd gladly accept your gratitude at any given moment.

You were not blind to the looks they gave you either, so soft, even you didn't think they were capable of such emotion. You've either looked away or rushed out to the kitchen to 'top up the necessary' as a poor excuse to shy away from their gazes.

Soon, things began to calm down, and you shooed the pack to the living room, but not before being bombarded by offers to do the dishes. You gave in, eventually, and as soon as the final plate was washed, you pointed to the living room, much to everyone’s amusement.

Besides Deuc and Peter, who were helping you with the leftovers, everyone else started doing their own thing in the meantime; Scott, Stiles and Lydia were already lying on your rug, Malia and Kira were looking at your bookshelf, ranging from interesting novels with odd titles to the fishbowl of Marimo moss balls, because you wanted a ‘pet’ that ‘understood you best’.

None of the pack understood you till this day, not until Kira pointed out that Marimo moss balls survived best in low light, and you heard the rest of the pack answer with a collective ‘ooh’.

Derek, just like his cousin, had been doing the same, but from the comforts of the couch he was lounging on instead. Though he was the only one on his own, he seemed to be at peace, the deep wrinkles usually etched in between his eyebrows nowhere to be seen as dinner finally caught up to him. All in all, everyone was looking and feeling much better when they first arrived, but you couldn’t blame them. They were carrying responsibilities that were thrice as heavy as an average teenager.

Basically, you were glad to see them finally taking a load off.

The relief you were practically giving off to both Peter and Deuc was endearing, seeing your unfaltering smile despite the way your sensitive nose scrunched up a couple of times as you scooped the gravy into a container.

“You were right, angel,” Deuc was the first to speak up since the comfortable silence, “This dinner night was worth it.”

“Really?” The shine in your eyes was enough of a solid answer, “What changed?”

“That,” You tilted your head, “That pretty smile of yours.”

You mustered up a nervous smile, peeping out a small ‘oh’ before continuing with the leftovers.

At least, you tried to.

“No, no,” Peter came up behind you, intertwining his fingers with yours, “What did we say about hiding your smile?”

You peered up at Deuc, who nodded you encouragingly.

“That it only encourages you two to make me smile even more.” You whispered just enough for them to hear, trying your hardest to look elsewhere as they praised you with a simultaneous ‘atta girl’. Peter raised your laced hands, kissing the back of yours while Deuc took the other and did the same.

And just to spite you in the best way possible, they kissed either of your cheek, Deuc taking your left whereas Peter on your right.

But before they could melt you further, you heard an ‘oop’, followed by Lydia’s ‘Stiles!’ before she dragged him off. The poor boy had accidentally seen the tooth-rotting display at its peak, especially between his former nemeses and his godmother. It didn’t bother them in the slightest though. They turned to you, only to see your wide-eyed mortification. You could’ve really traumatized him or anyone else for that matter, had Stiles’ interruption not happened, and you had no doubt these two could care less in favour of devouring you in the kitchen.

Shameless.

But you loved them anyway.

That still didn’t stop you from glaring at the two, at least you tried to, losing your composure when they both ganged up on you with their knowing smirk—a telltale that they haven’t forgotten about your promise.

They eventually put you out of your misery, but their lingering touches had only been amped up to the max, letting you know that they were growing impatient to have you.

And the second the pack leaves, boy, were you in for the night.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

» gorgeous rose divider by @firefly-graphics ♡

°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° just an introductory tag! @christinasyellowflowers @clockworkballerina @marianne-zemo @spicymau-5

#— reve's reverie 🌹 #a little more love series #MR BOHEN & MR EMERY THIS IS FOR YOU #peter hale x reader #peter hale x fem!reader #peter hale x you #peter hale #deucalion x reader #deucalion x fem!reader #deucalion x you #deucalion #peter hale x reader x deucalion #ian hohen #gideon emery #teen wolf #teen wolf x reader #stiles stilinski #scott mccall #derek hale #malia hale #lydia martin #kira yukimura #yes it's titled after red velvet #and i'll do it again

[bakubunny]

um- if no one asked i would like you to hear those hc’s on izuku and shinso 🙄 (tenya and tokoyami too if that’s not asking for too much😔)

not too much for sure, i’m having a lot of fun with this. ask away. 🖤 tried to chill a little bit on some of the sizes bc i’m tryna have mercy on some of y’all.

eat up @cheffuckboyrdee @neon-gothicc.

repeating the disclaimer that i know it’s not realistic for every guy ever to be above average but it’s my (dick) party and i’ll drool over them if i want to.

midoriya

size is 6.5” long and 6.25” girth, he’s longer than average, shorter than the others i’ve mentioned so far and it’s thickkkk. BUT

i’m a little undecided on him bc my brain says “i want to throat pro!deku’s dick while he uses me until head empty,” but my heart says, “canonically he’s got the fattest dick hands down, *maybe* after kiri.” and we’ve already discussed kiri, we know no one is taking his dick down their throat. so my hcs on izuku’s (and sometimes kiri’s) size fluctuate a bit. 😅

curved upward, very veiny, bit of a mushroom head. fairly even girth but widest at the base. heavy balls.

clean shaven for the most part except maybe a soft green patch and a cute lil happy trail…. def not bc he’s into rimming and has his own dildos he wants to get pegged with.

goes crazy over teasing head and long hand jobs with edging but also has the desire to ruthlessly fuck your throat ngl. loves fucking your thighs.

also a fan of foreplay out of necessity. hence another reason why he’s such a big lover of giving head.

shinso

size is 7” long and just shy of 6” girth. he’s at that sweet spot imo where he’s big enough to feel huge inside and heavy when it hits your face but you’re not in a cold sweat just trying to take the whole thing.

even girth, mostly straight with a little bit of a curve to the left. some prominent veins but not a ton. he’s another one with pretty balls. 🫢

he’s got a cute purple happy trail at his belly button. 🥺 likes to stay trimmed but will clean up if you ask.

loves when you deep throat him and gets even harder if you struggle or gag. loves sloppy head & when you massage his balls.

many of the guys mentioned so far have nice softies, but his is particularly cute.

tokoyami

i am going to resist the urge to hc his size as 8-9”/6”ish and uncut even tho that’s what i feel deep in my soul abt this man. 😭 pro!fumi just has that vibe. i’m not trying to make them all the same, i promise.

size is 6.5” long and 5.5” girth. enough to leave you more than satisfied and bonus: finally someone who’s not too big for quickies whenever you want. (say you’re bratting a lil too much and next thing you know you’re bent over in a public bathroom. 🫢 or he just can’t wait to get you home. 🫢🫢)

uncut, straight, not v. veiny, even girth or widest at the base (i can’t decide), breeder balls. they’re heavy and pretty. typically clean shaven, little bit of a happy trail when he does let it grow.

if any of you lovelies remember this hc series, you might remember that i firmly believe fumi loves getting head.

likes any position that involves being really close physically or going as deep as possible.

iida

size is a bit over 6” long and 5” girth. he’s not the biggest of boys but he knows how to use it… with a little guidance. probably for the better that he’s not massive bc he likes to go hard and fast, but you can break him of that habit if you want.

cut, a little veiny, downward curve, and narrower at the base and wider at head. his balls are big in comparison to his dick.

likes having his perineum played with but was absolute shocked at how quickly he came from it the first time.

he can be dominant but he’s weak for pretty eyes, pretty lips, and tit jobs. let your tongue hang out and hold up your bare tits and he’s a goner.

todoroki

size is 6.5” long and a little under 5.5” girth. shower rather than a grower. he’s got a softie that hangs and it’s adorable.

hard upward curve, veiny, head that’s not too prominent but cut, slightly narrower at base and head. his balls match his size but they’re very sensitive. doesn’t always like them played with but sometimes it’s nice.

his body hair is half & half just like the hair on his head. 😭 generally very clean shaven but it’s so pretty when he lets that happy trail grow.

i can’t decide if he prefers handjobs or oral sex more but he whines like a damn baby when you edge him and he loves it.

#why all of you are reading these is kind of beyond me bc this is so cringe #but i’m glad ur along for the ride #there’s probably more i could do if you ask tbh #i’ve even thought through a few jjk characters #aged up characters #bnha smut #smut hcs #Tokoyami smut #todoroki smut #Iida smut #midoriya smut #shinsou smut #bakubunny #tokoyami fumikage #midoriya izuku #todoroki shoto #iida tenya #shinsou Hitoshi

[josephquinnswhore]

Hiiiii Here is my request

Reader meets Bella and Nico bc she’s dating Pedro and it’s just cute. Oh and Gabriel (he plays tommy in tlou) and they are in an age gap (u choose) and it’s so cute and fluffy

Family Funtime

Pairing: Pedro Pascal X Fem! Reader

Summary: you get to meet the co-stars Pedro calls family.

Word Count: 1.6k

Content Warning: fluff, insecurity from reader. Implied age gap, reader is late 20’s Pedro is his current age (48).

Note: I love this request stop it 😭😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 thank you sunny ☀️

“Are you sure they won’t mind me being here? I don’t wanna impose on anything.” You fidget nervously with the sleeve of your jumper, picking at loose threads to distract yourself from the nerves that clawed at you from the inside, desperate to get out.

Pedro stops walking with you and your legs come to a halt, figuring maybe he’d changed his mind, that he’d send you home. Instead, his large hands cradle your face, it looked so small in his big hands, “baby, they’re dying to meet you. I promise they’ll love you.” You huff out a breath of exhale and look up at him through your lashes, “okay.” His eyes lightly squint as he smiles, “okay.” He affirms, letting go of your face and holding your hand, stopping your nervous fidgeting.

The set was incredible, you’d never think it could be this realistic but it looked very similar to the show, a lot of hard work had been put into making this series, you admired it, that Pedro was apart of this, making it happen.

His fingers rub your knuckles, as he leads you to the dressing rooms, props out for filming you have to weave through, careful not to step or bump into anything. You weren’t paying attention in front of you, your eyes coming up from the floor when you see it a foot in front of you; a clicker. You scream, “fuck!” Let go of Pedro’s hand and push him in front of you towards the man in the special effects make up. Your adrenaline is high as your heart hammers, Pedro turns to you with a raised eyebrow and the man behind him starts bellowing in a laugh that echos through the building.

You kneel over yourself and set your hands on your knees, catching your breath, and trying to steady your breathing. You flinch when a hand meets your back and you look up to see Pedro. “It’s just me honey, you’re okay.” As much as he finds the situation amusing, he wants you to be okay.

“You scared the fuck out of me man, Jesus.” The man throws his hands up in defence, “I’m sorry about that, we hang around like this on set so they don’t have to do the make up again, it takes hours. I’m Mike by the way, so nice to meet you.” You reach out and shake his hand, introducing yourself. “We better keep moving, got some people to see, see you later Mike.” Mike nods, “good to see you Pedro, see you later.”

Pedro’s hand is on your lower back guiding you, “good to know you’d toss me to save yourself.” He jests, pouting at you. You immediately feel bad, lip opening and closing, you must’ve looked like a deer in the headlights with your big eyes wide as you’d realise what you��d done. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to shove you I just-“ you’re cut off by Pedro laughing, “don’t apologise sweetheart, you know I’d keep you safe anyway. You ready to meet them?”

You’d stopped outside the door that had “cast only” and shuffled uncomfortably, “are you sure I’m allowed to be in here.” You gesture to the sign, “we’re not filming today, I let them know they said it was fine, just don’t take pictures of the set.” “Okay, sure.” Not like you’d planned on it anyway. Pedro doesn’t even knock, just swings the door wide open and he’s met with a room full of smiling faces all rushing to greet him. You stand awkwardly as you shuffle into the room, shutting the door behind you.

“This is my girl, she’s a little nervous aren’t you baby?” You stare dumbfounded, nodding, you reach for that thread to fidget with when Bella comes up and pulls you into a hug, they’re awfully strong for a nineteen year old. You wrap your arms gently around her, accepting the warm embrace.

“I’m Bella, so nice to meet you. All Pedro does is talk about how incredible you are.”

“Oh, does he now?” Your cheeks flush red as you turn to Pedro who has a shy grin on his face.

“Alright scoot it’s my turn to meet the “woman that makes me the luckiest man alive.” The young girls impersonation of Pedro makes you laugh. She pulls you into a soft hug and her beautiful hair tickles your cheeks, “I’m Nico. Pedro’s other adopted child, I guess that makes you our mum.” The lopsided grin has your cheeks starting to hurt from smiling so much. “I’ve always wanted kids, the more the merrier.” You cheer.

A man approaches you, one you recognise as Tommy from the show, he’s handsome you admit, but he’s got nothing on Pedro. His teeth are baring as he smiles at you, pulling you into his broad chest and you hug him back, he lingers for a few more seconds than you would’ve offered but don’t protest until he pulls away. “I’m Gabriel, so nice to meet the lovely lady.” He kisses your hand and you feel the heat crawling up your neck as he does so. “Trying to make a move on my girl Gabriel?” The amusement in Pedro’s voice is evident, and Gabriel laughs, “you know I can’t help it, I’m a ladies man, they love me.”

“I’ve only got eyes for one man, sorry to disappoint you Gabriel.” Your kind voice makes Pedro blush, the comment sweet as it is a firm statement.

You’re watching alongside Gabriel as Pedro and Bella dance. Pedro guides her movements softly and twirls her into him, their laughs contagious to each other as they move swiftly. “You know how much he loves you right?” You turn to Gabriel and he’s watching them, just as you were before turning to you, seeing doubt in your eyes. “I know he loves me, I just don’t feel like I’m worthy enough for him sometimes.” Gabriel frowns at this, he sees and hears every comment he makes on set about how perfect you are, showing them pictures of the two of you, explaining the story behind it.

“What makes you say that?” You sigh, you’d have to talk about it at some point, you didn’t want to talk about it with Pedro yet; he didn’t know how bothered you were by some of the hate you’d been receiving in regards to your age gap. “People are always commenting on our age gap y’know. Just makes me wonder why he chose me. He could have anyone he wanted.” Gabriel’s face softens, the wrinkles in his face are now gone. “I’m sorry people are sayin’ that about you, but he did chose who he wanted, it’s you. You’re it for him.”

You turn back to watch the two of them twirling once more, the song coming to an end, “you really think so?” Gabriel laughs, gaining Pedro’s attention, you send a small smile his way and he notices somethings not quite right. “Yeah, I know so.”

“Thanks Gabriel.” He puts a hand on your shoulder supportively, “anytime.”

Bella and Pedro seperate and she walks up to you, crushing you in another hug, “it was so awesome to meet you, I hope I get to see you again. Maybe we can hangout sometime?” The hopeful look in her eyes nearly makes you cry, “of course, it was great to meet you Bella. I would love that.” “Okay dudes, I’m going home. Remember to wrap it we don’t want any babies, or do we?” Bella shoots you two a look before leaving, the laugh that escapes your lips is out of your control.

“Hey sweetheart.” Pedro presses his body against yours, warm and sweaty from dancing. “Hi baby.” His lips graze your forehead, kissing you softly. You fall putty in his hands as he holds you by the waist, “you gonna tell me what made my girl so upset before? It wasn’t Gabriel, was it?”

You shake your head no, feeling guilty that you had vented to Gabriel before coming to Pedro with this problem. “I just-sometimes I don’t feel good enough for you.” Pedro wants to speak, to reassure you but he listens, because he knows you’re not finished. “A lot of people comment on our age difference and it gets to me sometimes-the things they say.” You bite your lip, wishing you would just be unbothered by things like this.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve come to you first but, I-I was so embarrassed and I didn’t want you to worry about me.”

“Oh honey.” Pedro pulls you into him, the warmth is welcome as you melt into him, feeling like you’re coming closer after your confession. The weight off your shoulders makes you relax into him. “You never have to apologise for that. People are cruel and they say mean things. But we’re strong, I love you because everything about you is everything I’ve always wanted.”

“Even if we don’t have kids?” Pedro pulls back slightly, taken aback by your comment. “What do you mean?” Your cheeks are bright red, “well I mean, would having kids be such a bad thing?” Pedro grins, kissing your lips gently. “Maybe it wouldn’t. We can talk more about it in the car, cmon. Let’s get home.”

“Thanks for the great day. They’re all wonderful people. The connection you have with Bella is really beautiful.” Pedro’s orbs are watching you, your face showing nothing but love and affection for him. “I need her more than she needs me, she’s helped me through a whole lot that kid.” “I’m proud of both of you.” You muse.

“I love you so fucking much.” His lips are frantic on yours, conveying his love and warmth to you, reaffirming his last words to you. You, wordlessly say you love him too.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal tlou #bella Ramsay #nico parker #tlou set #pedro pascal rpf

[sstan-hoe]

the way I’d let ari absolutely knock my shit out the park but IN A HEADLOCK😭???!!

it would be heaven with his thick ass arm around ur throat while u drool and cream braindead over how good he’s fucking u with his fat cock🥺🥰

(thanks big time for taking requests because ur writing serves cunt in a “Shakespeare could never” honoring way)

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — ari levinson × fem!reader

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — well smut obviously, p in v, rough sex, unprotected sex (don't do it) ari and his big dick, ari (he's a warning okay)

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — I would also like to use this post as a little announcement! This is one of my last works that includes c.e. characters, there is another andy drabble coming and the series "They Changed Me Forever" will come to an end. Beginning of November 2023 I will stop for an unknown time, however I will finish Devils Den with them. I will concentrate on others, if I have it in me to write my stucky series I will. However I will not promise it. I also took down the Barber's Production to go under some editing, I'm still unsure if I take them down completely or just put them under private.

Also, no idea what got to me... it isn't as filthy as I intended! reblogs and/or comments are appreciated ♡

NAVIGATION

Pressed against his hairy chest, drops of sweat running down your forehead as he had his thick arm wrapped around your throat to keep you in place.

His cock pounding into your spend cunt, over and over again. Having stretched out for hours by now, and fucked our every braincells that were available. The sound of his hips snapping against yours echoing through the walls.

Ari's cock creamed in your cum, the bedsheets wet, soaked with your mixed fluids. His other hand rubbing over your clit, overstimulating you.

Your body is clinging to his, only by the strength of his arms. You couldn't hold yourself anymore. All you needed was his cock, still after hours you wanted him.

He was breathing down your neck, groaning every time he felt you tighten around his fat cock. Asking you how good it felt being fucked by him, his hungry cockslut who was only there to please him.

"Good, good, feels so good, Ari," you mumbled, imagining you spoke clearly when in reality he could barely understand you.

You chanted those words over and over again. Drool is already slipping from the corner of your mouth, as your head falls back onto his shoulder.

Ari tightens his grip, cutting off a little of your air and enjoying every time your body twitches thanks to him. You became so sensitive, all because of him, braindead and just for his entertainment.

"Mhm, I can feel your orgasm coming little one…, give me one more. This is the last one, I promise," he purred into your ear.

He already told you three orgasms ago, that this would be the last one and every time you believed him. The man fucked you deeper, harder and rubbed your clit in circles.

A loud scream carried through the house, belonging to you who just had her sixth orgasm. Ari was close behind you, pumping you full with his seed, not letting a single drop escape. You closed your eyes, darkness overwhelming you.

You had a desperate need to sleep, with Ari comfortably seated inside of you.

𝑩𝑶𝒀𝑺 𝑶𝑵𝑬 — @smile1318 @wintasssoldier @xcaptain-winterx @georgiapeach30513 @alina02 @broadwaybabe18 @jobean12-blog @buckymcu12 @shara-ne @lou-la-lou @pomegranatearildreams @abbygraceasd @mirikusashes @bye-moonchild @promiscuousbarnes @meyocoko

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | @sstanhoe-updates blog where new fics will always be reblogged in case you're not interested in the taglist as it has conditions

#ari levinson x y/n #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson smut #ari levinson #ari levinson fanfiction #ari levinson drabble #my beefy bear ari🧸 #ari levinson x female reader #ari levinson x you #ari levinson x black!reader #ari levinson fic

[yandere-arts]

Have you seen the incident of the girl who took a picture with the help of a knife on social media? How would Ghoat.Konig.Alex.Graves. Soap.And Roach (if you're writing for him) react if they accidentally saw us doing this? (Note, we're not dating them) and I'll even send you the makeup photo with the knife I'm talking about. (this is a headcanons request) have a nice daaayyy 🥰

(For female reader)

A/N: thank you so much for your patience sweetheart! Sorry it took so long to get these 😔 I appreciate the request — it was quite interesting to write 💕 for future ref, I don’t write for Roach or Alex Keller (unless you meant Alejandro 😭 ) since I don’t really know much about them 😅 I also decided to do these in yandere! versions as we discussed and some are post-kidnapping bc I had no ideas for pre

TW: yandere stuff, punishment, torture, cursing, stuff that makes the reader cry, assorted BS, König is horny asf but yk me too 😭 — you know the drill :), DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

YANDERE GHOST. 💀

Oh, sweetheart. He’s probably THE WORSF GUY TO DO THIS WITH.

I mean, you probably picked up the knife with intentions other than doing your makeup. Even if this is after his year of endless torture just to « train » you, and you’re completely loyal to him (meaning Stockholm Syndrome has already set in), he’s still going to be furious. He’ll definitely think you were trying to leave him.

He likely went looking for you once he realize you weren’t in the bedroom or the living room, and of course he didn’t want to be late to the « date » (in his mind, at least) that would change both of your lives eternally, but when he saw that hunting knife, HIS hunting knife, pressed dangerously close to his favorite part of your face, he forgot about the little velvet box in his pocket.

Ghost probably acted without thinking and snatched the knife away from you instantly, pressing your body into the cold glass of the bathroom mirror. He’ll hold your offending wrist, a grim look in his eyes.

And all the while, you’ll plead and ask, « why? »

His eyes will snap up, a new fire blazing because of your words. « Why would you ever use a knife to do your makeup? Are you crazy, darling? Need to be retaught how to act normally?» (You probably do after everything he’s done to you 😭)

Overall, a very terrible experience. Likely the worst, and he’ll definitely retrain you as a result of this incident. You lost your proposal and « honeymoon bliss » privileges, and now you’re under this vigilant, cold gaze 25/8. It’s for the best, after all, as he doesn’t want his darling s/o hurt.

YANDERE KONIG. 💣

Two simultaneous thoughts. #1: Oh, how lovely, my little Maus is doing her makeup even though she’s so beautiful! #2: What is that in her hand.

And after he « gently » grabs your waist (darkening already present bruises), he demands to know why his knife is in your little hands. He’s angry. He’s furious. And he’s delusional.

König cares far too much for his darling and certainly believes that they are some sort of goddess or angel descended from the heavens. He simultaneously feels that they are too precious and beautiful for this world, but losing them would result in a bloodbath, no matter whose fault it is.

König will be sitting you down after this to talk about why you shouldn’t lay your hands on his filthy weaponry and why you should just keep yourself within his embrace, tucked away from all of reality. (He does the latter speech at least once a day anyway.) He may also express his dissatisfaction more… intimately later. (He likes the way you were gripping the handle of HIS knife.) It depends on if you’ve tried to escape recently or not or if this incident is just another slip-up in a series of unfortunate events (from his perspective.)

Oh, and don’t worry, with this man’s wealth, you’ll probably have some neat tool from Sephora to help with straight eyeliner in a day or two.

So not the worst experience, but still pretty bad and will result in an irritated König (though some of you probably think that’s a good thing…)

YANDERE GRAVES. 🥧

(Yes, I did make his emoji American Apple Pie, and yes, I do think it’s funny asf. Leave me alone.)

 « Watcha got there, doll? Seems a little much for a little lady like you to handle. Here, lemme help, » Dumbledore he said calmly.

Of course, he’s no happy camper when he sees that knife in your hands, but are any of them???

Graves would be one of the most calm of the COD boys in this situation. He’s upset, that’s for sure, and you can feel his pine aftershave burning your nostrils as he snatches the blade away. His tone is neutral but the tightness in his neck and jaw give away his anger. Tread lightly.

This would probably serve as another example to him of why you were so fragile and needed to be locked away in the first place. If he hasn’t taken you already, it’ll happen soon.

Graves would have a very strict ideology of « I’m the only one who can hurt her, and that’s final. » He doesn’t even want you to have control over yourself. He’s so possessive that he doesn’t even want you to be controlled by anyone other than him. (Which also means cutting ties with your friends/family, getting fired suddenly from work, and him always breathing down your neck (sometimes literally.))

You’ll see repercussions for this, but he’ll still go light on you. Don’t forget that he’s a hardened solider, though, so his definition of light might be completely different from any civilian’s.

YANDERE SOAP. 🧼

Probably has the best reaction out of all of them. He won’t be very happy, but he’ll still find the situation a bit funny.

He stands there completely in shock and in awe and a bit frightened of you, but it still brings a chuckle out. Soap will make you think that it’s all a game and you’re just the silliest girlie on the planet until you put that knife down to do mascara and suddenly it and every other sharp object in the house is gone.

I think Soap would be a more laid-back yandere, so he’ll only react poorly if you act poorly (meaning you present a threat to yourself or him.) He’s very lenient though, and once or twice let his guard down for longer than usual. But the minute you do something stupid, he’s internally panicking and scolding you and himself.

Don’t give this poor guy any more problems, please.

Like the others, he’ll have a chat with you. He’s lost a good number of important people in his life and certainly doesn’t to lose another, so if you truly care about him, you’ll listen. That’s his reasoning.

But if you value your freedom and sanity, maybe it’s best to not look a wooden horse in its mouth and allow for an incident like this to happen again. Soap is soft and bubbly around you until he’s harsh and rough.

#yandere cod #yandere ghost #yandere konig #yandere soap #phillip graves #yandere headcanons #literally several months late and i severely apologize but i got sick and work sucked my soul out like a damn hoover