#i haven't felt that engaged and excited and happy in a long time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xan-izme · 10 months

Text

Across the Spidervers x Venom!femReader {Bad ending}

(Reader is Māori)

Summary: Reader was one of the Spidey's that helped Miles save his city from disaster. She returns home, a little while later, Gwen comes to recruit Reader. But this don't go very well.

TW: character death, mental health, trust issues, betrayal, cursing, held captive, traps, mentions of killing

—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—––—–—–

You were Spider woman. Yes, you knew that. Your uncle knew that and your friends from other dimensions knew that too! Friends who you missed dearly.

The life as Spider-woman would be tiring at times, but the felling of knowing that the city where your family and many other families live are safe; Was something you needed to know an able to sleep.

But you felt so alone. Missing your friends, missing swinging through a city with them and defeat evil. Joking around and the small meal breaks. You haven't been able to connect with others that much after becoming Spider-woman, it seemed like crime happened everywhere every day.

One day, when you were going against another villain, who was actually a very new one to you.

"So uh, what are you supposed to be? --" You swung up in the air, dodging the attack.

"Some, Super . . .goo?" You watched as dark gooey liquid drip off from it's deformed body.

'Ew'

"You . . . die!" The monster shouted. The thing picked up a large bolder from the wrek and threw it twards you.

You shot your webs at the bolder and jumped up, throwing it right back at it.

"That's not a really nice thing to say man." You continue with your witty comments when trying your best to take down the monster. Then suddenly, the thing begins to glitch. This gave you a little heart attack, knowing the feeling all too well.

"I see, you're from another dimension." You mumbled as the monster's glitching was a little long.

Suddenly, the gooey thing shot itself at you. Luckily you got out the way. But the goo stuck onto you, making your foot and hand stick to the ground and wall.

"Mother--nature!" You shout in frustration.

"Spider-Woman!" You hear a familiar voice shout. You quickly turn your head to see your father, captain of the Brooklyn police force. You clear your voice before speaking in a deep voice.

"uh- Stand back! no need for assistance Captain l/n!" You shout back at your dad who had other officers behind him, ready to engage. You used all of your strength to get your foot out of the goo that had harden instantly. After breaking your foot free. You kicked at whatever the gooey monster threw at you.

Suddenly, some portal opened up. Thats when a figure quickly shot out of it. It didn't take you long to realize who it was.

"Gwen!" right when you and Gwen were away from the civilians, you couldn't help your excitement to hug the living hell out of the blond. Gwen laughed.

"It's nice to see you too." Gwen laughed out as she hugged you back. Gwen began to tell you about the Spider Society and how she wanted to recruit you. She told you the higher up wanted to meet with you about a serious situation that was to happen in your universe.

You got concerned for a moment. You cared about your city and everyone in it. So, if your wold is in trouble, then you would of course get involved.

Gwen gave you a day pass bracelet so you wouldn't glitch like crazy. Before entering the portal, you looked back, wondering what your other family members were doing at the moment. Hoping they would be safe.

The Spider society was honestly amazing. You met and had some fun with people who were like you. You felt so happy, smiling non-stop. Gwen laughed as you acted like a child in a candy store.

Then you both stopped big doors. "Miguel said he wanted to meet with you alone. Y-you alright with that?"

You smiled, a little nervous to meet the big boss of this whole thing. But you reassured her and walked in alone. Before the doors closed, your turned around and gave her a thumbs up and said, "Wish me luck."

The doors closed. It was a little dim, but you were able to see good enough. You breathed in and calmed yourself down, pulling your mask down and walking to where you see more light coming from a specific spot in the big room.

"Uh- H-hello? Mr. O'Hara?" You see a man in a dark blue and red suite. The aura around the man made you nervous, his built just added on to your little fears. You cleared your throat and straightened up.

"I'm Y/n L/n. I was told you wanted to see me . . . sir?" Miguel got closer to you with a stoic look on his face.

"We know who you are kid." Miguel spoke. You frown at the word 'we' and search the room and see a woman who was. . . pregnant. You were a little confused, and worried.

"Um. . . don't y'all get like, paternity leave or something?" You pointed out at the woman. Miguel ignored your comment.

"Where's Gwen?" His words sounded like a question, but not at the same time. "She said you wanted to see me alone. Hey, I kind of need to be back soon. No disrespect sir, but I got school and stuff. . . " You cringed at how dumb you sounded.

Miguel and the woman in the room gave each other a look.

Miguel began to explain the problem.

Apparently, ever since your time in earth 1016, your experience there had changed your mindset on a lot of things, including certain things that were a part of your 'canon' as Miguel called it.

"What . . . what's wrong with that?" You were generally confused, what part of your canon did you accidentally prevented.

Lyla then showed multiple canon events, all the same, all that had happened in different universes.

"Every Spidey loses someone, most of them fall in love and most of them lose that lover. For you, your canon involves family members."

"What?"

"Now we don't know which of your family members would die--"

"The hell, if that supposed to make me feel better!?" You were getting upset, rightfully so.

"Look kid, we know this is hard for you to take in." The woman known as Jessica spoke up. ''But you are your own anomaly, the more you stay with your family the way you are doing at the moment, the more damage you'll inflect on your world."

"Wha- . . . You can't just tell me one of my family members are going to die and tell me not to fucking interfere. My mother is pregnant! my siblings are literally toddlers, my dad- he just got his new position as captain." Your mind was going into a panic, you can't lose any of them. Your family was your whole world, you already lost someone you can't afford to lose again. You know deep inside if you lose anyone else, you'll brake.

And there is nothing you are more afraid of then braking.

Miguel sighed. "I'm sorry kid, but let's be honest. If it weren't for Miles Morals, you wouldn.t be in this situation." Miguel spoke as multiple other Spider people surrounded you. You frown and look around to see all of them.

"What . . . what's going on? . . . Where's Gwen!" Suddenly a gadget was tossed to your feet. And before you could react, a forcefield was put up around you.

And that, that is when you freaked out.

"Once this timer goes off, that is when we set you free. Just a few days kiddo."

Your eyes shifted to the timer. 2 days.

You shouted, banged on the forcefield, used as much strength as you could to try and get out.

"LET ME OUT! GWEN! GWEN HELP ME!" You shouted for your friend. You shouted for help. But alas, no aid came to you.

"Please Y/n. The more you struggle the harder it will be for us." You hear someone say, but you ignore and keep slamming your body against the transparent walls.

Then suddenly your Spidey senses tingled. You look around the room, then you noticed a familiar white and black suit. "Gwen! Gwen help me! Please help!"

Gwen walked up to you. She stared you in the eyes, your face expression dropped when you noticed the look of pain in her eyes. Gwen held herself and turned away from you. "Gwen . . .?"

"You did good Gwen." Jessica began to pat Gwen on the back. Your eyes widen in utter disbelief. "Gwen? Gwen!" You began to bang on the forcefield, tears already threatening to fall. Your face was covered by your mask, but everyone can hear your voice cracks.

Betrayal was all you felt as you continued to try and claw out of the forcefield, for a moment you were almost successful. Then Miguel was able to put on hologram like chains to chain you on the ground to prevent you from clawing at the barrier.

The timer went off. You watched the multiple zeros blinking. Your body felt limp, weak as the forcefield and chains disappeared. Miguel had opened a portal. You ignored him and Jessica as you chanted the names of each family member, slowly going through the portal.

The moment you stepped through, it was chaos. Your families' names repeating in your head praying to all the Gods you knew of to please spare your family.

Finally, you found a familiar body, laying limp under some ruble. Swinging down quickly, you used your strength to get the man free.

Taking your mask off, you lifted the upper half of your father's body.

"Papa" You whisper out. Moving away his hair that was in the way of his face. His eyes slowly opened to see you, his beautiful strong daughter.

"Y/n . . . ko Koe." His voice was small, but firm. You smiled through your tears.

"Yes, it's me." Your vision would get blurry here and there, but the tears would immediately fall the moment you blinked.

"You are in trouble. You were late for dinner." Your father reached up to cup your face. Just for him to pinch your cheek. Even when close to death, he still scolds you.

It didn't take long for him to lose consciousness. You cried and held his body close. Rocking back and forth as you prayed and prayed. Begging for any god to help you.

You didn't notice Gwen slowly approaching you. She mends down and watches as you cradled your father's body in your arms. Gwen reached her arm out and held your shoulder.

"We have to go, before the police get here--"

"Tuku- Tukua--"

"We need to go Y/n--"

"Tukua ahau!" You smacked her hand away and stood up. Hot tears running down your face.

"I whakarerea ahau e koe!" You began to shout in your native tongue. Frustrated, hurt, betrayed.

And the feeling of dishonor you had brought onto yourself was the worse feeling overpowering everything else.

"You are no friend of mine.''

Those words shattered Gwen.

"Leave. GO! Never return." Gwen stumbled back as you returned back to your father. Holding him back in your arms, half expecting him to hold you back.

Overtaken by grief and betrayal, you refused to let the Spider society to help with the anomalies, only you deal with them and send them in a portal back to HQ.

You gained a new power, discarding your tittle as 'Spider-woman', and taking on the tittle 'Venom'.

Venom was, well-- Venom was a handful at first. But Venom helped you become stronger. Helped you defend your city and your family.

Your family took a big hit by the loss of your father.

Sighing as you sat down on the clock tower. Looking over the city, wondering how Miles was doing. Hoping the boy didn't get caught up with Gwen and Peter B.

Miles was probably the only one you still saw as a friend.

'Hungry'

You groan "We already ate Venom."

'You call that food? That was nothing but a maar snack. I want something more! something fresh~"

"Okay one, ew. Two, I'm on a diet."

You hear Venom scoffed. 'Your diet is ew' Venom spoke in a mocking tone. Causing you to roll your eyes.

Out of nowhere, a portal opened up. You were fast on your feet. The portal was a little different from the others, making you stay on guard even more. That's when Multiple Spider people came out.

One specifically that came out angered you in multiple ways. You stayed in place, staying silent.

"Y/n! we need your help!" Gwen came running to you. You silenced out her words and focused on the panic and desperation on her face.

You wonder, if you could just reject her, shun her out and watch the look of despair take over her. That sounded very satisfying.

"Please, say something. Anything! I know what I did was unforgivable, but--" You stayed silent as Gwen was practically begging.

You look up to see some old friends, and new people. You stared at Peni for a moment.

You passed Gwen and walked towards the young teen who was in a new model of her robot.

". . .Nice ride."

Peni's eyes widen at the familiar words that brought back a nice memory. Peni chuckled "Thanks. . . nice suit."

The two of you shared a few seconds of silence. Peni jumped out of the robot and hugged you. You were quick to hold her tight.

You're not blind, it's clear all of you have suffered one way or another.

You set Peni down.

You turned your head to Gwen.

"I have told you to never return." You spoke, your back still faced to the blond. "I know! But Miles-" Gwen was cut off by your hand that rose up to silence her.

"I know of Miles and his situation. But I have my universe to protect. A family I need to keep alive." You walked further away from the group. Venom forming in and taking over at the last word.

"My answer will be the same answer you gave me when I begged you for help."

You will not forgive the ones who hurt you, betray you or your family. Right now, you don't care about anyone else but the ones you have now. You refuse to risk it. Refuse to gamble the lives of your siblings and mother.

And never, will you ever risk your honor, and the honor of your father.

Okay, before ya'll bash me about the Māori part, I know adding on a culture is a little off for many. I just wanted to add on a Māori reader because I don't see many representations of them. So, if any of my Māori readers dislike this, I will gladly change it.

#atsv x reader #Gwen stacy #angst no happy ending #angst no comfort #mental health #Māori reader #venom reader #miguel o'hara #miles morales

427 notes · View notes

thoseboysinblue · 7 months

Text

I Kissed Someone New Last Night

Christian Pulisic x reader

You visit your best friend, Christian, in Milan after a break up.

Word count: 4150+

Warnings: Fluff, swearing, mentions of weight loss, mentions of death of parents

Song Inspo: Kelsea Ballerini's Penthouse (Healed Version)

Requested: No

"Come to Milan" he pleads with you through the phone, "I'm worried about you, y/n."

"Christian, you know I can't do that," you frown at him.

"Please," he says quietly, "you've lost too much weight, you're not taking care of yourself, and no offense but you kind of look like shit," he tries to lighten the mood just a bit.

The truth is, there is nothing stopping you from hopping on the next flight to see your best friend and both of you know it. You broke off your engagement a few months ago, after finding out your fiancé was cheating on you. You also recently quit your job because no matter how hard you tried you always were bumping into him and you desperately needed a fresh start.

You had considered moving to Florida to be closer to Christian's family, the only real support system you had left. And even though he was far away, Christian never failed to be there for you through every heartbreak you had endured in your short life.

The night your mom died when the two of you were in high school, he dropped everything to be by your side, staying with you through all of it, holding you when you cried, staying strong for you when you completely fell apart.

He flew home as soon as he heard the news of your father's passing a few years later, and again, he was your rock. As everything in your life seemed to crash down, he was the constant, steady presence.

His family had welcomed you with open arms, including you in their holidays, family vacations, and trips to visit Christian and watch him play. They always made sure you felt like you had a place to call home. In recent years, you had opted to go to Christian for holidays so that he wouldn't have to spend them alone, the two of you setting about creating your own traditions. That was until your ex came along and you felt like you should spend holidays with him, but it broke your heart knowing Christian was spending them alone again.

Christian never really liked your ex, he couldn't put his finger on exactly why, but something about him made his guard go up. And it broke his heart when he found out he was right all along, maybe if he had said something he could have spared you the heartbreak, but you seemed happy and he wasn't going to interfere if that was truly the case.

"Come see me, I'll take care of you, I'll feed you pasta and let you get drunk on Italian wine. We can see the city together, I haven't gotten to do much exploring yet. It will be good for you to get away, take a break, get some fresh air, come on y/n, please?" he continues to plead with you.

"Ok" you whisper and you see his face light up, immediately grabbing his laptop and searching for flights before you have a chance to change your mind.

"How soon can you leave, looks like I can get you on a flight tonight, or tomorrow," he grins into the phone.

"Christian, you don't have to do that, I'll book something," you roll your eyes at him. He never failed to be generous and take care of you, whatever you needed, you didn't even have to ask most of the time.

"Nope. Not happening. Tonight or tomorrow, y/n? You better give me an answer or I'm closing h my eyes and clicking on whatever I land on," he chuckles.

"Fuck it, tonight," you grin at him, the first genuine smile he's seen from you in as long as he can remember.

You have to admit that the thought of landing in Italy tomorrow morning to spend however long you wanted with Christian makes you a little dizzy.

"Ok, pack your bags sweetheart, I'm sending you your boarding pass now," he smiles at you, "fuck I'm so excited to see you, it's been ages since we've gotten to spend time together."

"Christian, I just saw you this summer in Florida," you chuckle at him.

"Yeah, but that was less than 24 hours and you had the dickhead with you so it doesn't really count," he huffs at you.

"Christian this boarding pass says seat 4C, you did not just book me a first class ticket did you, you jackass."

"I sure did, because I can, and because I wanted to, and because there wasn't much left on the flight anyways. Now, get off the phone and start packing. Call me when you leave for the airport. Love you, y/n."

"Love you too, Chris." you shake your head at him before you hang up.

A few hours later, you have taken care of anything that might need your attention in the next few weeks since you were unsure of exactly when you would be back. You had packed and showered, and were set to leave for the airport. Making one final check that you had everything you needed, you call Christian, who answers sleepily, "I'm headed to the airport," you smile, even though he can't see you. "Ok, I'll see you in the morning," he says through a yawn, "safe travels."

"Thank you for this" you whisper but you can hear him snoring through the phone so you quietly end the call, after whispering another "love you."

You phone dings when you turn it off of airplane mode and you look down to see a message from Christian.

Christian: ciao bella 🤌🏻 there will be a car waiting for you to take you to my apartment. I'll be in training when you land, but should be home when you get there. Can't wait to see you 🫶🏻 Love you.

Y/N: oh god, am I going to be subjected to your attempts at learning Italian?

Y/N: thank you for the flight and arranging the car. I'll meet you at home. I can't wait to see you either. Love you, Chris 🫶🏻

Christian: do not insult my Italian, y/n. On my way home now, see you there 😍

When you arrive, he is waiting outside for you, pulling you into a warm embrace. It feels like he might crush you, but being in his arms heals your soul just a tiny bit.

"You've bulked up," you chuckle, your head resting against his chest. "You're skin and bones" he whispers leaning down to kiss the top of your head.

"Come on" he says retrieving your bags from the car and thanking the driver, waving off your attempts to help carry your things.

He leads you inside his new apartment, sitting your bags just inside the door before intertwining his fingers with yours, "let me show you around," he smiles at you adoringly.

He leads you from room to room, letting you know his plans for each of the ones that aren't quiet fully furnished yet. He grabs your bags as you follow him up the stairs opening the door to what you presume is his bedroom.

"Christian, this is gorgeous," you say taking in the room, the view out of his window to die for.

"It is," he smiles, never taking his eyes off of you.

You and Christian always share a bed when you are together so you aren't sure why it makes you slightly nervous to think about staying with him now, but it does. Your stomach flips as he moves your bag into the walk in closet, sitting your toiletry bag on the bathroom counter.

"Are you tired?" he whispers tucking a loose strand of hair around your ear and settling his hand on you jaw, smiling a the way you lean into him and shake your head, your eyes already a little brighter.

"Hungry?" he grins when you nod.

"You feel up to going somewhere, or do you want me to cook here, or we can order in?"

"We can go out, but can I have a few minutes to freshen up? You know I always feel gross after a long flight."

"Of course," he smiles, leading you into the bathroom, grabbing a towel for you and turning on the shower.

"Thank you," you whisper, wrapping your arms around his waist, "for everything," a couple of tears slip from your eyes which you try to hide from him but he definitely notices.

"Always, y/n" he breathes out, kissing you on the forehead.

After your shower, you wrap yourself in a towel, walking into Christian's room so that you can grab some clothes out of your suitcase. Christian is sitting on the bed when you walk out of the bathroom and his heart sinks when he realizes just how thin you've gotten. He knows it's just from the stress, and that you tend to lose weight when you are dealing with heavy emotions, and that you always return to your normal with a little TLC, usually from him.

He doesn't say anything, he knows he doesn't have to, you can read perfectly well the look of concern on his face.

"I'll be fine, Christian," you whisper as he nods.

"I know you will be now," he offers you a weak smile, but the look of concern is still evident.

You quickly get dressed, noticing that Christian has already unpacked your things and placed them on the empty shelves in his closet, your heart fluttering at the kind gesture.

"Come here" he gestures, patting the empty space on the bed beside him.

You waste no time in climbing over him and tucking yourself into his side, your head resting on his chest as he scratches your back.

"You know I'm here for anything you need, right? Forever." he speaks quietly.

You nod, allowing the familiar sound of his heart and his scent to wash over you. You never feel more cared for than you do when you are wrapped in Christian's arms, his warm embrace always soothing you, no matter what is going on in your life.

"You sure you don't want a nap," he asks quietly, a small yawn escaping his lips.

"We can nap if you are tired, Chris," you whisper.

"That's not what I asked," he chuckles.

Your stomach rumbles loudly and he kisses you on the top of the head, "food first, then naps."

He takes you to a small restaurant close to his apartment, filling you with as much pasta as you can hold before you make the short walk back to his place.

Once you arrive back at Christian's, he closes the room darkening shades in his living room and the two of you settle down on the couch to watch a movie.

Before long, you fall asleep wrapped up in Christian's arms and he does the same. You aren't sure how long you've slept when you stir slightly, waking Christian up.

"You ok?" he whispers into the dark, a sigh escaping his lips when you nod and nuzzle your face into his chest. You let out a giggle when his stomach rumbles, "you can't be hungry again, Chris."

"I'm starving, actually" he chuckles when you move slightly allowing him to stand up and pull you to your feet. He makes the two of you a sandwich, both of you eating before heading up to get changed for bed.

You wander out of the en-suite bathroom in Christian's room after finishing your skincare to find Christian sitting in the bed, already under the covers.

You give him a hesitant look, chewing on your bottom lip, "you sure you want me to stay in here, I could stay in the guest room or..." you trail off as he stands up and makes his way over to you wrapping you in a hug.

"Why wouldn't you stay in here, we've been sharing a bed since we were kids, y/n," he says quietly his hand stroking your back.

"I don't know," you whisper, "I just wasn't sure you wanted me in here."

"Of course I do," he says taking your hand and guiding you towards the bed, "but only if you want to be in here. I can definitely get you set up in the guest room if you would feel more comfortable."

"No, this is fine," you offer him a smile, your moment of anxiety passing.

"You know, I think my parents always thought we were up to something when we kept sharing a bed when we got older," he chuckles, "led to me getting the talk from my dad on more than one occasion."

"No, really?" you groan, your cheeks painted with embarrassment as you try to hide your face with your hands.

"Mmmhmmm" he laughs pulling your hands from your face, "I think they were worried that we might figure out that one of us is a boy and the other is a girl when we were younger, but as we got older, I think there were secretly rooting for it."

"I figured they would eventually put a stop to it, but I guess they trusted you far more than the trusted me," he grins.

"Guess we've disappointed them then," you chuckle tucking yourself into his side as he kisses the top of your head.

"Sleep well, y/n, wake me if you need anything," he whispers as he turns off the lights leaving the two of you wrapped up in nothing but the darkness and each other's arms.

The next several days in Milan Christian works to improve your mood as much as he can, enjoying when he catches flickers of you returning to your normal self.

You wake up early with him, enjoying quiet mornings before he has to leave for training. He even asks if he can bring you along for a few sessions giving you a chance to catch up with his old Chelsea teammates. You spend afternoons wandering the city and learning Italian with him. Evenings, which he knows you typically dread, are spent, snuggled up together watching movies or binge watching some of your favorite series.

Being constantly surrounded by Christian's presence is working wonders for you, you can feel yourself healing from everything you've been through the past few months. During a face time with Christian's mom she mentions that she can tell both of you are in a better place mentally and physically and that she's glad you are getting to spend some time together.

You cannot deny how much you enjoy being with him, here in a safe bubble, seemingly protected from the outside world. And Christian, he's enjoying your company more and more each day. Things are seamless and comfortable between the two of you, conversations are easy, and the silences are never awkward.

He has been thrilled to have you with him as he embarks on a new season with Milan. You've been able to travel to away games with him and we're blown away on your first trip to the San Siro.

One particularly warm evening after a match, you walk out of the bathroom in a pair of pajamas that show far more skin than any others you've worn around him. You pretend not to notice the way his breath hitches in his throat when he sees you and the way his eyes follow you as you slip into bed next to him.

"You ok?" you whisper, resting your head on his chest noticing the way his heart is hammering away.

"Couldn't be better," he sighs, trailing his hands over the exposed skin on your back and shoulders noticing when your skin erupts in goosebumps, a reaction he's not used to from you.

"I've got the next couple of days off, I thought we might take a little trip to Lake Como tomorrow, have some lunch, see the area," he says quietly, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"That sounds nice," you whisper, turning to place a kiss to his chest.

"And I have a surprise for you tomorrow night," he smiles as you turn to look him in the eyes, resting your chin on his chest.

"You know I hate surprises," you grin, a glint of playfulness in your eyes.

"I know, but this is a good one, and you're not getting it out of me," he grins back at you, tickling your sides and making you squeal.

"Now, let's get some sleep, we have an early morning tomorrow," he says, reaching to turn off the light and gesturing for you to turn on your side so that he can be the big spoon.

"Good night y/n," he whispers, "love you," as he places a feather light kiss on your shoulder, so light you almost don't notice it.

"Good night, Chris, love you too." You whisper back to him, intertwining your fingers with his.

The next morning, you both wake up early and have a quick breakfast before leaving for the day's adventure. Lake Como is more beautiful than you could imagine and you share a lunch that borderlines on romantic at a small cafe that overlooks the lake.

"I can't believe we are here," you nudge him with your shoulder as you walk down a small path towards the waters edge.

"I'm sure you could sweep some lucky girl off of her feet here," you chuckle at him noticing the way his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"Probably, but that's not what today is about is it," he rolls his eyes at you, "today is about me and you spending time together, not me scoping out potential date spots."

"I know, but what better place to fall in love than Italy, Christian," you say, twirling yourself around in front of him, missing the absolutely smitten look on his face.

"Maybe," he shrugs his shoulders, his eyes never leaving you.

"Are you going to tell me what this surprise is?" you ask him, looping your arm through his and resting your head on his shoulder. Noticing the way his skin reacts to your fingers tracing over his skin.

You like Kelsea Ballerini right?" he asks, as he rests his head on the top of yours as you both of you stare out over the water at the colorful houses dotting the horizon.

"I do, her new album is practically an anthem for my life right now, why?" you breathe out, shuddering as his arm wraps around your waist and pulls you closer to him.

"She's playing at the stadium tonight, and I might have gotten tickets for us," he says lowly, tilting his head up so that he can look you in the eyes and see your reaction.

"Playing at the stadium, as in your stadium? In Milan?" you nearly squeal, turning to fully face him as he nods.

"Thank you," your voice comes out low, barely above a whisper as tears well in your eyes, "for this, and for everything, you've always been the one person I could count on no matter what, and I honestly don't know what I would do without you."

You press a gentle kiss to his cheek, lingering a bit longer than normal as you notice him swallow dryly.

Leaning back slightly, you take in his features, suddenly mesmerized by his beauty. You've always known Christian was attractive, that much was obvious to you, but Italy has done him a world of good. His summer tan has lingered a bit longer, freckles dancing over his skin, and his eyes seem a bit brighter and more full of hope than you've seen them in a while. You catch your gaze lingering over his lips, noticing how soft and plump they are and wondering what they might feel like pressed against your own.

Christian has been your best friend for as long as you can remember, there isn't a single core memory of yours that doesn't involve him, being here with him the past couple of weeks, his patience, support and attentiveness have healed parts of you you didn't know needed healing.

Part of you never thought it was possible to develop feelings for him beyond friendship, and yet, when he's looking at you the way he is at this very moment, it makes you wonder if there couldn't be something more there.

"You're staring," he whispers, enjoying the flood of color that rushes to your cheeks.

"Am I not allowed to stare at my best friend? You're kind of beautiful you know?" you say, your eyes never leaving his.

"You're the beautiful one," he whispers, leaning down and glancing at your lips, almost as if he's thinking of kissing them before kissing the tip of your nose.

You turn, facing the horizon again as his arms squeeze your waist. "I love it here," you breathe out, feeling him nod as he rests his chin on your shoulder, but you aren't quite sure if by "here" you mean your actual location, or if you mean in Christian's arms.

"We should go," he gives you a gentle squeeze and slides his hand into yours.

The car ride home is quiet, he can tell you're lost in your own thoughts and he'd give anything to know what you are thinking about as you stare out of the window. Truthfully, he's a bit lost in his on thoughts as well, trying to come to terms with everything he's been feeling over the last few days.

Back at his apartment, you start getting ready for the concert, Christian ordering dinner for the two of you to eat as you get ready. You pick out a flowy dress, something that accentuates your best features, wanting to look pretty for yourself, and you catch yourself thinking that you also want to look pretty for him. You want him to be proud to have you with him, not that he's ever made you feel otherwise.

Once you are finally ready to go, you walk out of his bathroom about the same time as he walks out of his closet, also dressed and ready to go. You both silently stare at each other, soaking one another in before his lips curl slightly at the edges as he makes his way over to you.

"You look beautiful as always," he smiles, pressing a kiss to your cheek, dangerously close to the corner of your mouth.

"So do you," you blush slightly at his compliment as he takes your hand and leads you to the car waiting to pick you up.

The concert is amazing, Christian never leaves your side, and most of the night he has one or both arms wrapped around your waist.

As the first notes of "Penthouse" ring out around the stadium he moves so that he is standing behind you, both arms around your waist and his chin resting on your shoulder as he gently sways with you to the music.

Tears well in your eyes at the words that seem so very personal to you, a few spill over as Christian grips onto your hips turns you around. He brings his hands up to cup your face as he brushes the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs as the music fades out.

You're staring at each other, both of you knowing exactly what is coming next, as she belts out the healed version of "I kissed someone new last night, and now I don't care where your sleeping baby," Christian presses his lips to yours.

The kiss is soft and slow, and without a moment's hesitation you grip your fingertips into his t-shirt as you melt into the kiss; his lips slotting perfectly against yours, just as you had imagined they would. Suddenly, it feels like all of the pieces have fallen into place.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against yours, "I love you, y/n" he says quietly, only loud enough for you to hear. A couple of tears fall from your eyes, as you nod and say "I love you too, Christian."

"No, baby, I need you to understand what I'm saying. I'm in love with you, I am desperately in love with you," he says as he bumps his nose against yours.

"I know, and I'm in love with you too," you grin, a squeal escaping your lips as he picks you up and spins you around.

"Stay in Italy with me, I can't bare for you to leave me," he says as he pulls you closer to him, burying his face into your neck, "we can both start over here, and we can start building a life together," he says hesitantly, searching your features for an answer he is hoping will be yes.

You nod and he crashes his lips back to yours in a much heavier yet still reserved kiss considering you are in public.

"So you're staying," he mumbles against your lips.

"I'm staying" you grin, "until you're sick of me."

"That's never going to happen sweetheart," he smiles sweetly, "never."

Tag list:

@chelseagirl98 @neverinadream @masonspulisic @pulisicsgirl @swimmingismywholelife @lovelynikol16 @nyctophilic0vitnir @lunamelona @tall-tanned-tattoo @lizzypotter14

#christian pulisic #christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic fic #christian pulisic fluff

293 notes · View notes

sunflowerdarlingx · 4 months

Text

New Experiences (18+)

Hello lovelies,

Long time, no posts. I hope you're all well and have had a great start to the new year! I haven't written in a long time so wanted to get back into it. I have a few one shots to post and a new series! I'm pretty sure my engagement on this platform is going to be awful but I really don't want to start fresh when I've posted so much work on here. Enough rambling for now though!

This is just a little NYE piece to get back into the swing of things.

18+ only. Minors DNI.

Content warnings: Smut with no plot, first time male receiving head, alcohol consumption (I think that's all).

Bucky Barnes x Female reader

The top floor of the Avengers Tower was booming with people. The New Years party was in full swing and the clock was slowly ticking. Bucky was currently sitting at the bar with a cold beer in hand. He hated parties but the team insisted he come, reminding him that he would just feel low being locked in his room alone.

His eyes caught yours across the room and you found yourself wandering over to him. “C’mon Buck, give me a smile” you sent him a cheeky grin of your own and placed your champagne glass on the bar beside his beer.

You had always had a special connection with Bucky. You were the only one in the tower apart from Sam and Steve who Bucky felt truly comfortable around. You regularly had movie nights and you introduced him to a lot of the modern ways of living. More recently Bucky was struggling to just be your friend, but dating was so much more complicated now and it was driving him insane. He couldn’t get you off his mind.

The corner of Bucky's lips immediately turned up and a small smile graced his usually grumpy face. You caught his eye the second you entered the tower. You were gorgeous and his jaw almost dropped seeing you in the little white dress you had picked to wear tonight. It hugged every curve of your body and Bucky couldn't help but let his eyes wander over every dip and bump that the dress hugged.

“There it is” you giggled as he sent you a shy smile. You engaged in small talk for a little bit before the countdown caught your eye. “Quickly Buck, we need to find you a new year's kiss!” you hopped down from your seat at the bar and took his hand in yours.

“Woah there, I didn’t agree to that” Bucky’s body barely moved an inch and he swiftly pulled you back into his side.

“C’mon it’s tradition” your eyes peeked up at him through your lashes as the clock counted down the last two minutes of the year.

“Who’s your kiss?” he asked, leaning into your ear as the noise level in the room raised with excitement.

“I..I don’t have one”. You were suddenly aware of how close you were to Bucky. His metal hand rested on your waist and his face was awfully close to your own.

Ten…nine… The countdown began and Bucky’s eyes met yours. “I guess you’re stuck with me then”.

Three

Oh my god, Bucky was going to kiss you.

Two

The same Bucky who you had a crush on for months.

One

Bucky was finally kissing the girl of his dreams.

Happy New Year!

The tower erupted in cheers, confetti poured down from the ceiling and the sounds of party blowers echoed throughout.

Bucky's lips gently landed on yours, gently pecking your lips before his hand moved to the back of your neck and pulled you in closer.

“God you’re perfect” he groaned as he pulled away. A deep red blush coated your cheeks.

“Kiss me again Buck”, it came out as a whisper but Bucky heard. A cocky smirk took over his features as Bucky leaned in again. The kiss was deeper this time, less gentle and a little more rushed.

“Go Tinman!!” Sam hollered from across the bar and Bucky pulled away. Glaring at his friend, he flipped Sam off and took your hand in his, guiding you to the elevator.

“Sorry, I..uh thought we could go for a wal..” Buck’s sentence was cut short by you wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down into a kiss.

His hands wrapped around your thighs and pulled you up into his embrace. The kiss was messy, all tongue as the elevator rode down to his floor.

“Fuck” he groaned out as your hips bucked gently against him. The ding of the elevator signalled that you had arrived at Bucky's floor and he expertly managed to walk you both to his bedroom without breaking the kiss.

He sat on the edge of the bed with you on his lap, his lips trailing down your jaw and neck. Your hands moved to unbutton the dress shirt he wore and his hands found their way to the zip of your dress.

“Wow”, Bucky paused the kiss to take in your upper half as the dress bunched at your waist. His hands immediately started to play with your tits. His fingers gently rolling the buds between his fingers. “God, you’re perfect, you know that…getting me so hard” his lips were back on your neck, gently nipping at your collarbone. “Can you feel that sweetheart? Feel how hard you make me?” his hands moved to grind your hips against his growing bulge and his lips wrapped around your nipple.

“Fuck Buck” your back arched into him as your hips started to grind harder against him.

He lifted you up with ease, pulling your dress down and unbuckled his belt. As he moved to take off his pants, you started to trail kisses down his chest and stomach before dropping onto your knees.

“Your lips feel like heaven sweetheart” Bucky groaned as your lips wrapped around the head of his cock. “Oh my god, fuck” Buckys hands wrapped around your hair. You slowly started to bob your head up and down his shaft. “Jeez sweetheart, n…no one’s ev..ever done this before”. Your eyes widened at his admission and he chuckled at the reaction. “I think it’s a modern thing”.

You sent him a cheeky wink and hollowed your cheeks, taking him further down your throat, desperate to hear the noises he makes again. “Oh fuck, feels so good sweetheart…your mouth his heaven…oh..oh fuck…’m close.. Slow…slow down sweetheart gonna make me, Fuck”.

You pulled back off his cock and ran your tongue up and down his shaft. “You’re gonna be the death of me” Bucky groaned out as he watched your hand disappear under your panties before wrapping your lips around his cock again.

This time Bucky's hips gently rocked into your mouth, careful not to force too much of his cock at once. “Fuck sweetheart, I can hear that little pussy, fuckkkk… can hear how wet you are. You like sucking my cock? You like making me feel good?”.

Your moans vibrated against his cock and Bucky could feel his legs shake at how good you made him feel. He watched the way your hand gradually worked faster against his clit and he could feel your movements getting sloppier as your eyes glazed over.

“You gonna cum sweetheart? Gonna cum all over your hand while you suck my cock?” his high was getting closer and the hazy look that filled your eyes tipped him over the edge. His cum filled your mouth and he watched as you shook as you came on your fingers.

“Good girl” he praised before lifting you and laying you on the bed. He gently placed his lips on yours before slowly kissing his way down your body “God, I can’t wait to taste you sweetheart…”

Thank you for reading <3

Masterlist

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #james buchanan barnes smut #james bucky barnes smut #james bucky buchanan barnes #james buchanan barnes

82 notes · View notes

eomayas · 8 months

Text

new thing (pt. 7) • pcy

pairing: chanyeol x f!reader, age gap, established relationship

synopsis: reader and chanyeol reconcile after being broken up for a few months.

genre: angst & fluff. LOTS OF FLUFF. e2l. happy ending

warnings: swearing, drinking, crying. lots of crying. reader is just a girl and chanyeol is just a 30 year old boy :(

a/n: this is the finale!! yay!! thank you to everybody who has been here from the beginning and stuck with me and this story! it has been a lot of fun writing this. once again thank you, and i hope you like it. sorry for the lowkey trash ending lmao! ❤️

seulgi runs across the grass with her arms open wide, gown flowing behind her. you meet her halfway and throw your arms around her, engaging in a moving hug. “we really did it!” she squeals, hugging you tight against her.

your heart beats rapidly from pure joy that you haven’t felt in awhile, and mild case of anxiety at the prospect of your future truly beginning now. you two just walked across the stage to declare yourselves officially done with undergrad. it’s exciting and nauseating at the same time.

“i know, i know,” you say, pulling back and holding her arms. she looks up at you and you get the overwhelming feeling to cry into her arms. “i love you.” you say, pulling her back into a hug so you don’t have to look at her in the face.

“i love you more!” she says. you two stay wrapped up together for a moment longer before she taps your back. “i’m sinking.” seulgi says, making a show of picking up her legs to remove her heels from the grass.

“me too,” you say, letting go of her to pull both of you out of the earth. “our parents should be around here somewhere.” you say, linking arms with her and weaving through throngs of people. a lot of them stop the two of you to give hugs and exclaim how excited they are to be done with college. you're excited too, but there is a pit in the bottom of your stomach that reminds you that you're officially not a kid anymore. there's so much of life that you haven't experienced, and its all going to be laid out in front of you.

finally, you find your parents talking amongst each other, as well and mr and mrs. kim. seulgi is practically family to them at this point, so it makes sense that they showed up to support her. "congratulations!" mrs. kim yells, bouncing over to you two and engulfing you into a hug.

you go around giving hugs and accepting congratulations from everybody before ending up at your mothers side, clinging to her the way a child would. “so, what’s next?” mr. kim asks, and you and seulgi glance at each other before bursting into breathless giggles, no clear idea or answer.

everybody laughs when you two laugh and it puts you at ease for a moment. seulgis parents suggest heading to the restaurant to go eat, and you agree. “i think someone is looking for you,” your mom says, glancing over your shoulder. you assume it’s a fellow classmate, so you turn around with the intention to shout congratulations, but are stunned into silence when you see who it is, going weak at the knees.

he looks nervous, and so endearingly awkward that it makes you want to cry and scream. and in extreme chanyeol fashion, he holds an assorted bouquet of pink flowers between his hands.

your heart leaps into your throat, just as shock and confusion cross over your face. you wonder if he can see the desperation in your face, that your been wanting to see him for months. you’re aware of other people around you, but it just feels like it’s you and him. it’s been so long since you’ve seen him—nearly three months to the day—and you still don’t know how to properly function near him, or without him, for that matter.

“uh, hi,” he says, and your knees feel weak at him being so shy and awkward. somehow, your brain tells you to move, and you take a few short steps towards him, stopping when there’s about two feet of space between you. “hi.” he says again, looking down at you with a soft smile.

“hi,” you say, nervously wringing your hands in front of you. you shift your eyes to glance at the flowers, and his eyes widen like he forget he was holding them.

“oh, these are for you,” he says, a blush forming on his cheeks and going to the tips of his ears in the way that you’re so fond of. it makes your heart clench in your chest.

you thank him as you accept the flowers and hold them between to shaky hands. you wonder how you look to the people around you; if they can read your body language and see that you two have obvious history. or maybe you look as rigid as you feel, nervous and taut? “what are you doing here?” you ask, blinking a few times.

“uh, seulgi invited me,” he says. you whip your head around to glare at her, but are met with an empty path of grass; your mother the only person still standing there. “she said… she said you wouldn’t mind.” and you hate that she was right, because of course you’d want him here. you’d want him anywhere, at any time.

“oh. well… thank you for coming,” you say, ducking your head shyly. chanyeol nearly reaches out to tip your chin up, but stops himself before he gets the courage. you’re not his to touch like that, and the realization burns in his chest.

“always. i’m proud of you, y/n,” he says softly, and you look up at him, lips folded into your mouth. that pit in your stomach only gets deeper and you feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. you can feel yourself melting into the earth as he keeps looking you dead in the eye.

“thank you,” you say, hugging the flowers to your chest as if to ground you, like you’re afraid if you’re not anchored to something you might float up, up, up into the clouds and disappear among the stars. you’re not even sure you’re still breathing properly, not with the way you can smell his cologne despite being outdoors and surrounded by hundreds of people.

chanyeol glances behind you, and you become acutely aware of the fact that your mother is still standing behind you. “oh!” you exclaim, whirling around and motioning for your mom to come over. they’ve never met, and this isn’t necessarily the way you want them to meet, but you’re not going to have them ignore each other just because you’re broken up—especially not when he keeps looking at you like he could eat you. “mom, this is chanyeol; chanyeol, my mom.” you say, gently nudging her, telling her to be nice.

your mom shakes his hand and gives him a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. a few months ago, she did her typical check in via a phone call. you never told her about chanyeol explicitly, just told her that there was a guy you were seeing back when you two first started dating. she asked about him here and there, but it was never anything pressing and you weren’t just going to give up the information. but when she called you after you two broke up, you couldn’t help but vent to her on the phone. for once, she let you cry in peace over a man—you don’t know why, maybe it’s because she could tell you actually liked him? but she let you cry and told you that one day, it would get better. she didn’t chastise you and tell you to simply get over it and to stop crying like you expected. you never asked her, but you figured she might’ve experienced something similar when she was your age or before you were born.

“it’s nice to put a face to a name, now,” your mom says, glancing at you before returning her gaze to chanyeol. he smiles, and the tips of his ears turn pink again. “how nice of you to show up today, too.” she adds and you cut your eyes at her, wanting her to lay off of him.

chanyeol only nods, his eyes never leaving yours as he says, “of course. i’m proud of her.” your whole body burns, the heat starting at your toes and spreading upwards. it’s too much to look at him, so you break first and awkwardly clear your throat.

“we’re about to go celebrate—you’re welcome to join us, if you want,” your mom says, shocking you and chanyeol, and probably even herself. you look at chanyeol with wide eyes, praying that he says no and spares an awkward, tension filled dinner.

“thank you, but i’ll pass for now,” he says politely and you nearly sigh in relief. your mom nods and smiles at him, seemingly happy with his answer, and announces that she’ll be waiting for you in the car.

you and chanyeol are truly left alone, and you don’t know how to determine the rolling of your stomach; anxiety, or excitement? either way, your pulse quickens and you feel shy when he smiles at you. "you look pretty, by the way," he compliments, and you feel like you're floating in the air when he says it. you thank him and he stuffs his hands into his front pockets of his jeans. "can i see you later? after your dinner?" chanyeol asks.

you bite the inside of your cheek. you know you should probably say no, because while you're elated to see him right now, you don't know when reality will set in and shatter whatever idea you have of him. his proposition from a few months ago still lurk in the depths of your memory, reminding you that you were too much and not enough for him at the same time. but on the flip side, you really do want to see him. theres so much you've wanted to say to him since your breakup and that rotten day.

blowing out a breath, you look up at chanyeol who wears a hopeful expression on his face. you’ve never been strong around him, never been able to resist him and those eyes that make you turn into mush around him. “yeah, sure. after dinner,” you say, nodding as if to convince yourself and psych yourself up.

chanyeol smiles, his dimples popping out and making your chest squeeze. “okay, cool. i’ll see you then,” he says. you nod and the two of you look at each other for a second before awkwardly laughing. chanyeol opens one of his arms, inviting you in for a hug. it takes everything in you to not throw yourself at him, and you slip underneath his arm just like you used to. you’re practically made to fit in his side.

the whole uber ride, you wonder if you’re too dressed up to see him. you changed your outfit four times, always feeling like it was too much or not enough, before you finally ended up in a blue, silk midi dress with lace trim, paired with heeled boots and a leather jacket. it might be too much, since it’s not a date. but he said he wanted to buy you a celebratory drink, and would it really hurt if you looked nice?

thanking your driver, you step out of the car and make the short walk into the bar. it’s quiet, save for the soft jazz music playing over the speakers. it’s definitely not somewhere you’d have picked if it was up to you, but it’s very chanyeol.

he sits at a high table near the windows, and gets up from his chair to greet you. it’s awkward again, stuck in the in between of a hug, or if you should just sit down. you both opt for the latter, chanyeol casting you a lingering glance. “what are you drinking?” you ask him, hanging your bag off the back of your chair.

“don’t know yet; i was waiting for you,” he answers, and you hate that you find it sweet. you only hum and start looking over the drink menu, not set on one particular drink.

“i think i’m gonna try this,” you say, pointing and showing chanyeol. he nods before slipping the menu from your fingertips and looking for his own option. you study him while he’s momentarily preoccupied and take in the few changes: the stubble, which you can admit you’re a fan of, thicker forearms like he’s been working out, and slightly longer hair. you slip your eyes to look out the window when he lifts his head and announces to you that he’s going to go order your drinks.

letting out a breath, you fold your hands together and glance around the bar, really wondering what you’re doing here with him. you know you shouldn’t be here after the way he tried to have some of you without having all of you, but you still have feelings for him despite it all. you’ve never really stopped.

chanyeol returns with your drinks and you two cheers before taking a sip, both making a face when you taste the alcohol. "so, how've you been—besides graduating?" chanyeol asks, looking over at you with a small, expectant smile.

with a shrug, you take another sip of your drink and set it down. "i've been fine, i guess. not really much going on," you say. "i have an interview coming up for this job—hopefully its my last one." chanyeols eyebrows raise at the mention of a new job, and eggs you on to tell him about it. you get a moment of deja vu, like you've had this conversation before and are going through the motions of trying to make everything right again.

"thats great, y/n. i'm really proud of you," he says it with so much genuineness that you have to take a deep breath to relax yourself. its just the simple things that make you ache the most. when you got an email back from the job, the first person you wanted to tell was him. he hasn't been an afterthought for you, not even after over 100 days of being apart.

you must get a look on your face, because chanyeol frowns and leans forward and asks if you're alright. "huh? yeah, i'm fine," you say, taking another sip of your drink. chanyeol backs off, but he knows you nearly as good as he knows himself, and the look on your face is one he's seen many of times. it lets him know that there is something on your mind that you aren't saying, but he knows better to press you about it, especially since you are not his anymore. "whats up with you?" you ask, wanting the attention off of you.

chanyeol goes on about how its been pretty much the same for him as well, except he's helping his cousin produce an album and is trying to get his brother in the studio more. you can't help but think about that fateful night at the drug store when you caught him buying condoms. you wonder if you hadn't run into him, if you wouldn't be sitting here with him trying to act normal and like you don't think about him nearly everyday. "y/n, you're doing it again," he notes, snapping you out of your own thoughts.

"doing what?"

he makes a face that says, really?, and shakes his head. "i know you, you know. say whatever's on your mind," you chew on the inside of your cheek and crack your fingers against your leg. "please, y/n."

you look up at him and your eyes start to well with tears, for reasons unknown to you and him. "oh my god," you mumble, covering your face with your hands. you sniff and wait for your eyes to dry up before uncovering your face and blowing out a heavy sigh of a breath. you look away from chanyeol as you talk, not trusting yourself to be able to make it while looking at him. "i am just so... confused, chanyeol. we don't talk for months, and then you show up to my graduation—and that was fine, okay?—but this? i can't just sit here and act normal with you, like we're friends or something, because we're not." your voice is even and slow, but you feel a wave of emotions brewing up again. "and with how we ended things? chanyeol, i need to know why you're trying to come around again because i just can't deal with it."

hes silent as he absorbs your words. chanyeol runs a hand through his hair and presses his lips together into a thin line. "okay, i'm just going to be honest, alright?" chanyeol looks over at you, and his stomach flips when you look up at him with wide, tear filled eyes. "first, i want to apologize—for everything, but especially the last time we saw each other. that was fucked up, and i knew it, and i still said it anyways. i wasn't... that just wasn't fair to you," chanyeols picks at his fingernails and looks down at his lap.

"i broke us up the first time; that wasn't your fault."

"yes, it was, y/n. there were things i didn't say to you, that i should have said. i could've tried harder, i could've just been honest with you," you bite your bottom lip, wishing he would just tell you those simple three words, whether they're still true or not. you need to hear it. "you can say it was all on you—fine—but i know that it wasn't. we both played a part, but it was completely my fault this time around. i don't want you to think that i... that i think less of you, because i don't. it was a stupid and fucked up thing for me to imply." chanyeols says, running his hand through his hair and gently tugging at the roots.

you fold your lips into your mouth and blink back the tears that form in your eyes again. his words mean something to you, so much that you don't think you'll be able to make it the rest of the night without crying. "y/n, can you look at me? please?" his tone is pleading, like its all he needs from you to get through the night. but you know the moment you look like him you'll start crying, and you don't know if you'll be able to stop. "please, y/n." and you wish he'd just call you baby.

with a breath, you finally turn your head to face him, and it hardly takes a second of seeing him before your face crumples and you drop your head into your hands. you're embarrassed for crying so quickly and in public, and you try to keep it silent. chanyeol jumps up from his chair and comes over to wrap you in a comforting embrace. you let him hold you for a moment, missing the feeling of being wrapped up in his strong arms. it doesn't last long before you mumble that you need air, and pull yourself from his grasp, not making eye contact with him as you slip on your jacket and dash outside.

you expect him to follow after you, and are greatly relieved when he does exactly that. "y/n," chanyeol says, a crestfallen expression on his face. the tears don't stop and you lean against the side of the building to support yourself. "i'm sorry." he's not really sure what he's apologizing for exactly, but he feels guilty and helpless watching you cry like this.

shaking your head, you wipe underneath your eyes and sniff, letting out a breath. "i don't know whats wrong with me," you mumble, letting out a weak chuckle. chanyeol gives you a small smile, taking a step closer to you. you take the risk of looking at him again, the urge to throw yourself into his arms tempting you. "why couldn't you just tell me?" you ask him, sniffing again. but you could ask yourself the same thin. why? seems to be the one question neither of you can figure out.

chanyeol lifts his shoulders and drops them before slumping against the building, mirroring your stance. "i don't know. i really don't. i felt—feel—so many things for you, so strongly, that i didn't want to ruin it or complicate it. especially if you didn't feel the same way," he says. the correction to the present tense makes your heart skip a beat, but also just makes you feel more frustrated.

"chanyeol, do you seriously think i just... kind of liked you, or something?" you ask, wiping the last of the tears from your cheeks. he shrugs and hangs his head when you let out a sarcastic cackle. "the way i felt about you scared the shit out of me. and since we're being honest, i still feel the exact same way. i can't even go a minute without thinking about you and wishing i could just go back in time so none of this happened." you're shocked that you found the bravery to tell him, but it feels like a weight has been taken off of your shoulders.

chanyeol blushes, and looks down at his shoes. "its the same thing for me. i really fucked up when i said what i said. i want you in more than that way, and i mean it. you mean more to me than just sex. i don't know why i thought i could even do that with you and not want more," you bite your bottom lip, his words settling in the pit in your stomach. the words are on the tip of your tongue, like they've been for months.

he beats you to the punch, nearly knocking the wind out of you. "i can't imagine trying to go through life without ever getting the chance to tell you that i love you. because i do, and i have for a long time, and i should have told you a long time ago."

"chanyeol," your voice cracks on the last syllable and tears immediately stream down your face again. his arms are around you in seconds, holding you tightly against him. chanyeol rests his chin atop your head and cages his body around you in a way that is just natural for the two of you.

you circle your arms around his torso and rest your cheek against his chest, letting out a deep breath and closing your eyes for a brief moment. this is all you've wanted, to be back in his arms, to be his, if not just for the moment.

"yeol," you mutter, pulling back to look up at him. chanyeols looks down at you and your eyes flick to his lips. thats all it takes for his lips to be on yours, one of his large hands cradling your head and the other around your waist. your palms rest flat on his chest before sliding up to grab onto the back of his neck to press him closer to you.

chanyeol backs you up against the wall of the building and presses your bodies impossibly closer, your hands sliding into his hair. you kiss him like its the last thing you'll do in this lifetime. theres a sense of desperation in the way you press yourself against him, but you don't care, and neither does he because all he does is shove his tongue into your mouth.

a whine leaves chanyeols throat when you pull away, and he chases after your lips. you blush and let him kiss you before you pull away again. you put your hands on his cheeks and look up at him, with what you can only image are heart eyes. "chanyeol," you say, gently stroking the left side of his face with your thumb.

"hmm?" he gently holds onto your wrist.

"i love you," you confess, and the smile that stretches across his lips is enough to make you weak in the knees.

"i love you." kiss. "i love you." kiss. "i love you." kiss.

you two stay like that for a few more minutes, pressed against each other. you feel his love for you in the way he holds you like you're delicate. you feel it in the way he kisses you like he means it, and you wonder why it couldn't have always been this easy and simple.

you've spent so long wondering why?, and you don't know if you'll ever find the answer, and for right now that is okay. because being back in chanyeols arms is enough.

#exo imagines #exo scenarios #exo x reader #exo x you #chanyeol imagine #chanyeol x reader #chanyeol x you #chanyeol x y/n #chanyeol fluff #chanyeol fanfic #chanyeol series #chanyeol fic #chanyeol angst #exo fluff #exo angst #exo fanfic

139 notes · View notes

thedrarrylibrarian · 3 months

Text

Have you ever had a day that just went completely to shit? That was the entire month of November for me. I had planned to have this Happy Hour ready then, but between work and home life and hosting for the holiday and everything else...a ball had to drop. I was so disappointed, because I love doing Happy Hour and I love speaking with the creators who help with the guest fic recs.

@ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm could not have been more gracious and understanding about postponing his rec. I always thought his artworkand fics were lovely, but being on the receiving end of the his kindness makes the works even lovelier to me. I love that even in moments of violence, he portrays characters as vulnerable and soft, the gentleness of moments of solitude, and the joyfulness of the mundane. If you haven't checked out Joy's art before, I cannot recommend it enough.

So after waiting for several months, I am finally so excited to share his incredible fic rec. Our first Happy Hour guest rec of the year is by the lovely and gracious @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm.

Outside of things that become fanon, we all travel the worlds of transformative works building up our own personal sense of canon. A lot of that process is wish fulfillment and self indulgence on little pleasures and minor vanities, which is what carves out this perfectly molded comfort that we all shelter ourselves in, what comes together to broadcast our unique wavelengths of bliss. But there is also another part of the process, one that I find myself unconsciously engaging in at times, which is an attempt to rewrite, rewire, recolor the places in which the source material has dulled, or to find cracks and fissures for interpretations that will allow me to engage with the source more meaningfully in the long run while honoring the directions in which I’ve grown and changed. There’s been a lot of work in the Harry Potter fandom that took on the form of a kind of hermeneutics, or that used the setting and characters as a kind of convenient vehicle to make a point about The Real World, in a way that sometimes makes it feel like we, the naive and spirited readers of the source material are somehow distant from the world and must be gently pulled back into it in the language of our distraction. Harry Potter and Welcome to the World of Grey was the first AU retelling of a larger segment of the HP canon where I felt like I was encountering something completely new, something that had the distant shape of these previous approaches at first glance but that, right from the first page, has that almost physical pull of the complete and precious new.

Harry Potter and Welcome to the World of Grey by @sobsicles (456,640 words, rated E)

When Harry fails to keep his anger at bay and Voldemort possesses his mind, the events that follow lead him down a long road to realizing the world isn't as black and white as it seems.

Chaos, hilarity, and tragedy ensue with a Dark Lord being honest all the time, a rival becoming something else, and a world demanding to be saved. Featuring frightened Death Eaters, deep conversations with a monster, Pureblood traditions being ridiculous, and the fight to do the right thing with no true options.

Harry's life just gets more and more bizarre with each passing moment.

Or, the one where Harry's life gets split in half, and he has to figure out how to bring it back together.

The summary is immediately gripping, and I’ll leave the reader to discover the shapes of the AU on their own, but the basic premise of the story is that Harry, at the end of 5th year, does something he would never do in the book, and that as a consequence of (?), or despite (?) or alongside (?) this, him and Voldemort begin to, on a relational and intellectual level, engage in a way that would otherwise be impossible. This story works on so many levels, all of them incredibly crafted and so masterfully sustained over the behemoth length of the first installment. The Harry in this story is funny and young and troubled in the most delicious ways all the while wading in and out of the crushing solitude of predetermination (and also maybe just humanity). I generally read exclusively fics in which they’re adults, or at least on the brink of adulthood in 8th year, but the author has crafted such incredibly convincing teenage characters in both Harry and Draco here that by the end not only do they both end up under your skin but they also become these people that sit alongside you, whose adolescence you’ve literally gone through as both a sympathetic spectator and as a mirror of them, drawn into the irresistible sweet delights of their love, the painful bonding of people captive in their lives, the hope of the future born out of surviving something together.

There is also a tendency in fics to paint the adults of the HP world as traitors, because that’s what the majority of them are, and this is something I also usually engage with. In this fic, while we maintain that the state of the world and the fates that befell all our favourite characters are largely the result of a kind of treason of goodness and responsibility, we also get to have these incredible deep insights into why each adult character is the way they are, through relations made possible only by this unlikely scenario that the author proposes. We also get to have the warm joy of seeing a child empathize with (and pity, and comfort, and teach) people who they owe nothing to, and this is an absolute treasure that shines brighter as we move through the story.

Finally, as this is Happy Hour, apart from all the things I’ve briefly mentioned up there that make this fic a delightful and comforting experience that I constantly go back to, I wanted to talk about a strange way that made this story become my source of comfort. This story made me like Voldemort. Not the terrifying and irredeemable one from the books or the movies. There’s this feeling that I have about fics and fandom, and I think it’s shared by a lot of people who’ve been around for a while, and it’s that these characters and settings and storylines are almost… nebulous things that always existed in us and around us and that we had maybe some slight hope for, but that were first snatched out of non-being and formed by the source material authors. This is also just how art and creativity is, in general - an antenna that beams signals and sometimes someone gets the whole message first. And you grow up and sometimes things are shaped by the source material to make you think oh I’ll feel this way forever and then of course you change your mind, but this was more like an intense, emotional journey in which I realized there was all this personal negativity that I’d always shove into this concept and this being - and that when I encountered the newly formed shape that this author’s Voldemort takes on, my resentments and my fixed darknesses, once unmovable and heavy at the bottom of this big thing in my life, were suddenly things I could walk up to. That the previously unapproachable veil of evil - which is simple, and undebatable - had lifted, and suddenly I could decide to do something else with them, to pick them up and carry them or throw them away, or live alongside them as awkward housemates until suddenly the shame and fear they represented wasn’t something I had to run from. So for happy hour, I picked a story that made me, and continues to make me, engage with not only happiness but a kind of lasting adult joy that comes from letting something come in and help you redraw the city lines of your own story. It’s very precious to me. I read the entirety of this fic in two days next to the crisp Adriatic sea, but I’ve reread it in many settings since then, and it’s always made me both hungry and full in the way that good home cooking does. I hope it does the same for you too.

#ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm #friends of the library #Happy hour #the drarry library happy hour #Friday Happy hour #Harry x draco #Harry potter #draco malfoy #drarry #the drarry librarian #thedrarrylibrarian

53 notes · View notes

capncococharms · 4 months

Text

Games I Enjoyed in 2023

I did a big blog post last year where I listed all the games I enjoyed playing and gave my short thoughts about each of my experiences... and I'm doing it again!

Since 2018 I've kept a digital sticky note to keep track of all the games I've played AND finished throughout the year. For 2023 lots of folks claimed it was the "BEST" year for gaming and to some degree... I guess??? Depends on who you ask, but to me I only enjoyed like a handful of new releases and played a lot of older games (or remakes of older games). It was a year of reflecting back on what made me love video games more than looking forward to what's "new".

In 2023, I've finished 32 games. That's 10 more games than I finished from last year but out of all the games I played, here are the ones that stood out to me and left a pretty positive impression.

LIVE A LIVE

I never had a chance to play the SNES version, but I was very familiar with the game to some degree from the old days when I use to browse forum threads about RPGs I've never heard of. I knew I would get around to playing it one day and thankfully it got a remake on the Switch (and then it got a PC port later this year). I didn't get to properly play it last year, but after sitting down to play LIVE A LIVE... it's a game with a really powerful soundtrack, engaging characters, and a unique story that left me wanting more games like it.

I could type up many reasons why I like this game, but I feel it's something you have to experience more than anything. I don't want to spoil anything about this game. If you love Chrono Trigger then you will have a great time with LIVE A LIVE.

Final Fantasy VII- Crisis Core Reunion

I love FFVII and FFVII Remake. When they announced they were remaking Crisis Core I was excited to finally see what the deal was and by the end of this game... it left me a very broken man sobbing my eyes out. As a stand alone game it works very well even if you're not familiar with FFVII. It's a touching and contained story about a man striving to be a hero. Zack is a person I wish I could be in terms of confidence and wanting to do what's right. He's also a goof ball and I am very happy I got to know him more through Crisis Core. I don't want to say much about this game either, but PLEASE play it if you haven't! It made me finally understand why people love Zack so much.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

I've put off this game for way too long. I had the chance to get into it when this game came out on 3DS, but I was too busy in college then. I ended up playing the PS3 version of the game (this was before the MGS Master Collection came out to every platform). At first... I wasn't a fan of this game. I struggled to play this game and felt like an idiot when it came to sneaking. I got stuck at the Volgin fight and out of spite, I started over on "Very Easy" to better equip myself. After working my way back to Volgin, I enjoyed my experience more and was engaged with what was happening around me. Once the game was finished, I was tearing up and couldn't help but think about how often true heroes are forgotten and how history is retold.

Thank you for the heartrending experience, Hideo Kojima.

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

I had a weird experience with Zelda games this year. Tears of the Kingdom released and I went in hoping it would be a great follow-up to Breath of the Wild. I wasn't the BIGGEST fan of BotW. I had some faith going in that TotK would be a better experience. Unfortunately, after making it back to Hyrule my fears sort of came true. It felt like the same game I played almost 7 years ago except you can use bubble gum to craft and make things which is... fine I guess.

I kept pushing on hoping the story was going to set up something great and for a while, it did! The BIG twist was interesting, but once I got to the final scene I wanted to chuck this game out the window. The newer Zelda games just weren't doing it for me anymore so I decided to replay some older Zelda games (Wind Waker HD and Twilight Princess HD which was a TON of fun to replay) and decided it was time for me to give Majora's Mask another chance.

I ended up playing this on NSO and after a month or so, I 100%'d the game and greatly appreciated what this game had to offer in terms of setting, story, soundtrack, and characters. The setting is dark and terrifying yet it still keeps a goofy demeanor. I just fell in love with exploring and seeing how human this game can be (especially the finale). This is what I want to see with future Zelda games. I miss having ACTUAL dungeons and linearity, but we won't get that again. I hope that there will be another 2D Zelda game or Nintendo goes back to its roots with 3D Zelda games, but here's to all the indie devs out there trying to recreate that GOOD Zelda magic.

The Great Ace Attorney (Adventures)

I love this series but fell off during the 3DS era with AA6 (I still need to play that...). Since this game is more of its own thing I thought I would give it a shot and MAN! This game took the AA formula and dialed it up to 1000. In Ace Attorney fashion I love the characters, I love the puzzle-solving, and the mystery aspect where everything is tied together (especially that finale omg). My only irk is that the cases tend to go on a bit too long compared to AA 1-4, but I can let that slide because I was streaming this game, and having to voice and read EVERY bit of dialogue was exhausting (I plan to play Resolve on my own time next year so I can get through it much quicker). Ace Attorney still rocks and I hope to catch up and play more in 2024 (looking at you Apollo Justice "Trilogy").

Ranko Tsukigume's Longest Day

One of the shortest games I played this year. I love SUDA 51's work and wanted to give this a shot and it sure was an experience, to say the least. The gameplay is simple and difficult at weird times, but the one thing that sticks out to me about this game, in particular, is the absurdity and goofy humor (which is... basically expected with a SUDA 51 experience) with its visuals and jumping to different art styles and animation. Something about this small game makes me want to start working on my own projects more than anything. You can tell this was made with a creative team and the devs from Tokyo Jungle worked on it to so maybe that's another game I should look into as well... Overall, this was like a fun snack to chew away at left me with my heads in the clouds.

Pizza Tower

I don't need to say much about Pizza Tower. If you've played it, then you get it. Go play Pizza Tower! The OST and crude cartoon art style is what gives this game... uh as the kids call it... "soul". It's the Wario Land game that Nintendo will never make. It's 25% off on Steam! GO PLAY PIZZA TOWER!

Hypnospace Outlaw

Had a rough time playing through this game at first because it would crash pretty often. Turns out the game would connect to the wrong graphics card so after I got that sorted out, I finally got to play this game in peace, and... man... there's nothing else like this game in terms of telling a story/ narrative through faux web browsing. It's a game that perfectly emulates the experience of the late 90's internet browsing. There's a particular joy in exploring page after page to learn about all these characters and their hobbies. Letting the player take a small peek into their lives is a treat. As you get deeper into the game, you start learning about some of these people and who they are underneath their online persona. Without going into spoilers, the game went in a direction I didn't expect with its tone. The final arc of this game left me with some tears and a HUGE respect for what once was before what our current internet has become...

Hypnospace is really really cool.

Undertale Yellow (Pacifist Route)

Kinda unexpected that a fan game would end up on my list, but I'll make the exception. From what I've read, Undertale Yellow was in development for 7 years and that dedication and work shows in terms of presentation, story, and new characters. For a fan game, it doesn't heavily depend on needing the cast of characters from the base game of Undertale to tell its OWN story. Like Undertale, you fall in love with these new casts of characters and go through many vignettes in each part of the Underground where you get to learn about how these monsters live, and just like Undertale you'll laugh, you'll cry, and wish that the journey would never end. Once again I don't want to spoil anything, but for a prequel to Undertale's story... it's surprisingly more powerful than I thought it was going to be. Congrats to the entire Undertale Yellow team who worked on this. It was a pleasant December surprise that made me want to work harder on my passion projects.

I feel to some degree, I love this game probably a little more than Undertale itself...

Probably...

One thing for sure is that this game is helping me tide over until the new chapters of Deltarune come out.

2023 was a great time to play my backlog and give games another chance. Also trying out new stuff in the process despite my current feelings on the gaming industry at the moment...

I hope in 2024, I can continue to dedicate my time to slowly chip away at my backlog and try out new games (or older games I missed out on). Video games inspire what I want to do creatively and I love seeing what people can create and put out there.

#thoughts #write up #end of the year #video games #indie games #writing #long words #gaming #retro gaming

17 notes · View notes

bobawitch · 6 months

Text

Nightmare Before Christmas | N.S.

a/n: late for halloween but yeah. happy halloween.

cw: just a lot of fluff

summary: nick's boyfriend finds out that the triplets haven't seen Nightmare Before Christmas and makes Nick watch.

wc: 876

“I’m sorry you mean you’ve actually never seen Nightmare Before Christmas. Not once in your 20 years of life?” Nick shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “It’s not just me! Chris and Matt haven’t either!” You shook her head putting a hand up. You could not accept that your boyfriend had not seen this movie and yet loved other Tim Burton movies. “Well good thing they’re straight and not dating me because they’re off the hook. You on the other hand are not mister.” Nick couldn’t help but smile, he just loved when you got in these passionate fits and he wouldn’t conceal that fact. Nick shrugged, crossing his legs on the bed as he stared at you. You on the other hand were sitting criss-cross with your phone open to a paused tik tok from the triplet’s halloween podcast. Your jaw was just about on the floor as you stared blankly at your boyfriend.

You had met Nick at a Melanie Martinez concert, you didn’t actually know anything about his famous status until you got his insta that night. Though that never really bothered you, which Nick consistently told you he appreciated. After a few months of light flirting and hanging out all the time the two of you started dating. It was a long conversation for both of you since you weren’t out to some of your family which meant you didn’t want to show up on the triplet’s social media as anything but a friend. Nick was incredibly supportive of your boundaries which made you immediately feel safer in the relationship. After about 2 months of dating you finally came out to your family in full. Though some relatives weren’t pleased that their precious son was gay they all slowly learned to accept you. Those who were really against it got blocked but Nick made sure to make you feel loved and accepted whenever you were with him. Now the two of you had been together for nearly 6 months. The fans knew something was up between the two of you but neither of you had confirmed anything. But you did start making more frequent appearances on the channel.

But on that night you had been scrolling through tik tok and found a clip of Nick saying he had never seen Nightmare Before Christmas which shook you to your core. I mean, it’s only one of the best Halloween movies to watch with a partner. With this in mind you stopped the soft cuddling the two of you had engaged in and interrogated your unsuspecting boyfriend. You had gone on a rant about how he needed to see the movie immediately so that then the two of you could show it to Chris and Matt. You had never managed to grab his TV remote that quickly before. You sped to pull the movie up onto the screen before hopping off the bed and turning off the lights. You grabbed one of your million Let’s Trip hoodies and dragged it over your head and onto your torso before settling next to Nick. You put your arm around him and he smiled at you, leaning his head onto your shoulder. You smiled back, pressing play on the iconic movie and relaxing. Nick slowly let himself lay on your chest, his arms wrapped tight around your waist. You reciprocate the gesture by wrapping your arms around his shoulders. His blue eyes looked up to you as the beginning of the movie played. You smiled down before leaning and pressing your lips to his. Nick greeted your lips with a gentle smile, kissing back in a soft and loving way. As the music faded into the first song of the movie you broke the kiss. You smiled at Nick and kissed the top of his head as you felt him shift to watch the movie. As the movie continued you noticed Nick getting excited at any small thing. You giggled as he nodded his head to the musical numbers. Somehow though you both sat completely silent for the entirety of the film. Once the credits rolled Nick sat up, rubbing his eyes from the build up of sleepiness you get from movies. “So what did you think of it baby?” Nick smiled at your words, looking at you with those soft skyline eyes of his. “I liked it a lot. I’m kind of embarrassed it took me this long to watch it. We need to show Matt and Chris this the next time we get a chance for suuure.”

And to your word you showed the movie to Matt and Chris, Nick sang along to the majority of it and you enjoyed watching all 3 of the brother’s reactions to one of your all time favorites. Once the movie was done Matt and Chris walked back to their respective rooms to do their respective things before you turned to Nick who was smiling at you widely. You moved over to him, enveloping him in a big hug. He moved to make eye contact with you before kissing your cheek. “Awe what was that for?” You questioned. “Just cause.” “Awe well in that case.” Then you pressed your lips to his.

#sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo x reader #nicolas sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo imagine #nick sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo x reader #bobawitch writes #bobawitch #halloween fanfic

35 notes · View notes

competitivedust · 5 months

Text

Just finished Eye of the world for the first time and I really liked it. I wouldn't say it was extraordinary but the story is pretty engaging. What I am really really happy about is that I am finally spending at least some of my time doing the things I used to love. I haven't felt the joy of reading in so long the way that I am feeling it now. Sure I'd read ebooks and I am not gatekeeping reading here but damn nothing quite compares to holding a paperback in your hands and reading and reading and losing all sense of time. I thought I had lost it, my ability to devour a book in just a few days, to be excited about where the story might lead, but I didn't! I am so glad I didn't.

#the wheel of time #eye of the world #robert jordan

6 notes · View notes

mittensmorgul · 1 year

Note

Your posts about The Winchesters is making me consider getting involved in the community again. I'll be honest, SPN's finale hurt bad, and I haven't engaged in or even re-watched an episode of Supernatural in two years. It took a long time to appreciate the experience and not feel like i'd wasted YEARS being so invested in something that felt like a slap in the face at the end. I miss the community; I miss talking about it, being excited, etc. But I got in the SPN tags for the first time in two years today, and seeing Dean, Sam, and Cas's faces on my screen again felt like seeing old friends:'-)

Aw, heck, well... welcome back :')

I still haven't rewatched 15.20, and I don't know that I ever will. But for the first time since it aired, watching The Winchesters 1.13 actually... let me feel even a little bit okay about it.

When The Winchesters was first announced and we learned the premise of Dean telling the story to us, I was wary. If it had started off with "so I'm dead and in Heaven and learned this stuff..." I probably wouldn't have watched, just because of that. I do NOT wanna hear about Dead Dean. I still cannot reconcile the Dean in 15.20 with the Dean from the entire rest of the original series. 40 minutes of just completely erasing all character growth and then pinning him on a rusty receipt spike was NOT the culmination of 15 years of him struggling to be free, you know? I would've noped so hard on watching him tell stories from Heaven... I really didn't want to engage with more canon that insisted that travesty actually happened.

Many of us cling to our Chuck Won theories-- that Chuck's power transferring into Jack transformed Our Jack into some weird God-Chuck-The Sequel. That Chuck The Guy was just a puppet for the actual Cosmic Power and it still had its own agenda but now there was nothing for Dean to fight back against he just... gave in to its demands and played out the story Chuck had always wanted him to.

Detour time: I've spent the last few days (while being stupidly sick and not particularly coherent as a result... hooray cold medicine brain) trying to assemble all the times Chuck talked about his writing process, what he wanted from his story, and giving up quickly because it's just so much... but I recall him saying something to the effect of "that's where I went wrong, when I tried to write myself into the story." And I think that was his failsafe-- he spent all of s15 waiting for Jack to turn himself into The Perfect Receptacle for his power, to put on that little show on the beach and take on all his power so Sam and Dean would believe they'd actually won. Making everything that happened afterward just... them thinking they were making their own choices or whatever, when they'd completely dropped their guard and all Chuck had to do was throw the Random Bad Vampires at them that Becky complained about way back in 15.04. And they'd never see it coming.

So... Dean telling the story here? I still held out hope that it would take place BEFORE the events of 15.20, when he was alive, and that the goal was to tell a DIFFERENT story from the one Chuck wanted to tell.

But the way it was all set up in The Winchesters left us open to question everything we saw, everything we were being told by Dean as the story unfolded. We had to think about it week to week, and the payoff to that? That Dean has been dead and running out of Heaven specifically in search of a world where maybe his family actually had a chance to be happy? When he was supposedly in HEAVEN, also known as PARADISE, where everyone is supposed to finally find peace and happiness? Well, that right there SCREAMS "hey, so maybe paradise isn't what it's cracked up to be... maybe something is really, really wrong in Heaven, with "Jack," with the whole concept of "peace when we are done."

Dean... is still looking for something. Something is desperately missing. His whole family is supposedly in Heaven with him, and yet why is he running through the multiverse looking for something? What could be missing?

We were *told* in 15.20 that Cas was there in Heaven, but *we never saw him there.* We were *told* that Heaven was "fixed" and all was well there, but *we did not see any of that.*

What if something very much larger is very much not right, and Dean is still looking for something? He looked so dang sad in the Winchesters finale. SO dang sad. And he was very pointedly behaving very carefully toward Jack. Like he knows he's breaking rules, or possibly even testing boundaries a little bit here... and I like the wide open possibilities of what that could mean.

I really think Dean's role in The Winchesters is effectively wrapped up. I would love to see a continuation of the series just for the characters we've grown to love there. But I do firmly see it as its own thing, adjacent to Supernatural and built from it, but with the potential to be whatever it wants to be in the future, and I love the possibilities inherent in that.

But for Dean himself? He absolutely built a high dive platform for himself to dive back into his own story from here, and I would LOVE to watch that unfold, as well. And to me, that feels like Jensen's intent behind all of this.

Will it ever happen? Golly I sure hope so...

#the winchesters #spnwin s1 spoilers #spnwin 1.13

36 notes · View notes

readingrobin · 10 months

Text

Mid-Year Book Freakout 2023

I was tagged by @the-forest-library. Thanks for the tag. Gives me a chance to do a bit of reflecting.

1. Best book you’ve read so far this year

The Scapegracers. It's so weird that I felt like I read this book so long ago but it was just in March. Angry queer witch vibes continue to have a big hold on me and I really need to get around reading The Scratch Daughters.

2. Best sequel you’ve read so far this year

Seeing as I've only read two sequels this year so far and one was the most disappointing continuation I think I've ever read, I think Bloodmarked is a clear winner. It's odd to see how contentious this book was among the fans, since I enjoyed it just fine. But hey that's just me.

3. New release you haven’t read yet

Probably Mysteries of Thorn Manor by Margaret Rogerson. I really want to go back to the world within Sorcery of Thorns and I'm glad that it's just a novella so I don't have to worry about too much of a time commitment. I want to see the good meow meow demon boy Silas again.

4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

Oooo, The Spirit Bares its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White. I absolutely loved Hell Followed With Us, especially how raw it is. I'm so excited to see how Andrew pulls off a ghost story when he has such a great way of writing uncomfortable and disturbing material.

5. Biggest disappointment

Ugh, absolutely West by Edith Pattou, the sequel to East. I don't want to be mean, but I don't think this book really needed to exist. After 15 years, a sequel to a fairy tale retelling that retreads the plot of the original has a difficult time of being interesting or engaging to the people that really fell in love with the original. If you want to see me get into specifics, it's in my review on Storygraph.

6. Biggest surprise

I think just the fact that one of the books I read, Strange Grace by Tessa Gratton, had a polyamorous triad that really felt organic and believable. I genuinely think these three people all love each other, which is rare enough in YA between just two people. I'm always behind choosing throuples over dumb love triangles.

7. Favorite new author (debut or new to you)

Angela Carter for sure. Also, T. Kingfisher.

8. Newest fictional crush/newest favorite character

Valec from Bloodmarked is easily at the top of that list. Sissix from The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet was real cool as well.

9. Book that made you cry

Haven't really been reading too emotional of stories, so I don't think I have an answer right now. There've been emotions sure, but nothing really sobworthy. Firekeeper's Daughter got me close though.

10. Book that made you happy

Spider-Punk: Battle of the Banned mainly because it's feeding into my current Spider Punk obsession and the art is so lively and amazing.

11. Favorite Adaptation

Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber is absolutely fundamental for anyone that loves fairy tale retellings. They feel so dangerous, sensual, but also mature and exploratory. Sometimes it feels like the retellings are somehow the stories' coming of age tales.

12. Prettiest Cover

The Kingdom of Back by Maire Lu, hands down.

13. A book you need to read before the end of the year

Still slowly, but surely chugging along through Les Miserables. Hugo goes on tangents like you wouldn't believe, not just about the Parisian sewer system

Not going to be tagging anyone this round, just do it if you feel like it!

#mid year book freak out tag #mid year book tag #book discussion #books #booklr

8 notes · View notes

sothischickshe · 10 months

Note

Talk about your thoughts on Misfits! Favorite characters, favorite powers, favorite ships, thoughts on the post Nathan era, etc.

Sure! I think nathan probs wins as fave character; I could maybe make an argument for superhoodie but idk that he really counts as a character of his own anyhow?? But any of the original 5 could be in with a shout 🌹👓🧓

I really liked the world building with the powers, and the fact that characters could buy/sell/swap them kinda, which kept stuff interesting! Time travel or telepathy or something might be the most useful, 'rocket scientist' was probs the most iconic, and I feel like power to control dairy products (???) might be the most memorable, although turning ppl bald also in with a shout, as are manifests lsd trips and Real Magic™️

Idk that I was ever super shippy about this show? 🤔 Most of the characters were pretty foul and the show itself was often on a gross out escalation train. Plus I haven't seen it for a long time so I don't remember the side or later characters v well 🤷🏼‍♀️ I feel like simon/Alisha got kinda cute, there was something at some point re nathan/Kelly which was kinda cute, maybe nathan/marnie? But the most important ship poss Ruth negga/screentime

My interest in the show post nathan def dipped! Nathan was probs the most fun character, and Robert sheehan was one of the standout actors. That said, I do like Joseph gilgun (who played rudy) & although his character felt a bit too much like nathan 2.0 (plus the literal split personality power quite blah), he and the remaining main 4 and the world of the show were engaging enough that even if I wasn't as excited by the show I was happy to stick with it. But then basically everyone else left!!! 😭😭😭😭 Once Curtis was gone my interest reallllllly fizzled... I think I've seen all of the show but I'm not completely sure??? Generally not a fan of a show replacing all the characters with new younger less interesting ones (looking at you grownish 🙄) 🙄🙄💤 I actually don't know much about this mass exodus, was it just that the main cast all felt it was kinda time to move on, or was there some #gossip??? 👀👀👀 But yea I'd probs complain most abt the post Curtis era, felt like the show did OK in s3 without nathan & s4 without most of the original cast, and then :/ :/ :/

#Thanks! 😊😚😚😚😚#Misfits #TV #UK

7 notes · View notes

thinkingisadangerouspastime · 10 months

Note

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

this is so cute, thank you northern!! i haven't written fic in so long, fingers crossed i'll find my fic inspiration again soon 💛

five of my favorite fics, in no particular order:

this thing of darkness (i acknowledge mine); it's flash-centric with mj/flash, venom!flash, acadec shenanigans, and not-so-secret identities. this fic is 110% self-indulgent and im so happy i wrote it! (bonus fun fact: my partner read this fic before we were dating, and let it be known that he is not really a fanfic reader but he liked me and wanted to engage with my interests. AND YET. even after he read the fic and complimented me on it, i still had no idea he had a crush on me 💀 I MAY BE STUPID—)

children will listen; technically a series of two stories, these fics explore waterbending allegorically to language through the perspectives of kanna and katara. these were emotional stories for me to write that struck many people deeply, creating one of the times i've felt most connected to the atla fandom

why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?; another series (i keep cheating with this list lmao!!), it contains three fics; these are my flash-centric stories that explore his character, his family, his relationship with the acadec gang, and eventually some self-indulgent peterflash. the series includes There's a Fine, Fine Line, my most popular fic that i think played a role in popularizing the parallels between flash and tony as characters in the mcu fandom and in general made a lot of people very excited to see flash treated with care and understanding. giving a smooch to everyone who has read that fic 💛

broken pieces still belong; a love letter to katara's character, she deserves the world and this fic will always hold a special place in my heart for giving me a chance to explore her grief, her rage, her kindness, her trauma, and her ability to forgive

all i know is gone (but i am not alone); a love letter to aang's character; while i look back and cringe at some of the prose and would probably revise a few lines with toph now that i have a stronger, more educated understanding of disability studies, i nonetheless remain touched by this fic bc a) it was my first atla fic and b) so many people were ecstatic to see an aang-centric story related to his grief for his people. he is the best boy!!

#mwah mwah thank you northern for sending me this 💛#amy answers #northerngoshawk

6 notes · View notes

eurydicees · 7 months

Note

Hi! I'm doing a school design project and I've decided to have a go at designing a Archive of Our Own app! I was wondering if you might be up for answering some questions to help me with my design (I need to show research in my project!)

If you are, answers to these would be SUPER helpful!

How long have you been engaging fanfiction sites such as Archive of our own, Fanfiction.net and Wattpad?

What are some of your favourite works or fandoms on those sites?

Are you a writer as well as a reader?

What drew you to these platforms and why do you stay?

How long have you been engaging with the site Archive of Our Own specifically?

What does your engagement with the platform look like?

How often do you engage with the platform?

What are your favourite aspects of the platform?

Do you think that you engage with all of the elements available on the platform?

Are there any elements of the platform that frustrate you?

Of the fanfiction sites you frequent, where would you rank the site as a whole and why?

What do other platforms have that Archive of Our Own does not, which you enjoy interacting with?

Are there any features unique to Archive of Our Own that you enjoy?

If Archive of Our Own were to develop a mobile app, what features would you like to see?

Would you like the app to be similar in aesthetic and function to the already established website?

Are there any features you would like to see added to the platform in the app?

If you're not interested no worries! Thanks so much

hi there!! i'm happy to help! i loooove talking and answering questions. under the cut bc this is long but here u go:

1. How long have you been engaging fanfiction sites such as Archive of our own, Fanfiction.net and Wattpad?

uhhhhhh probably since middle school, maybe a little earlier if we're counting that sweet sweet deviantart and quotev fanfic. so 2012ish maybe? i first made an account and start publishing on wattpad in march 2015 though!

2. What are some of your favourite works or fandoms on those sites?

oh man i have too many favorites to count. i cannot narrow it down to a list. i reread this one recently though and according to my ao3 history i've visited the page 20 times so like. im gonna rec this one for today.

3. Are you a writer as well as a reader?

yeah!!! read my fics here. please. oh my god. please read them. im begging everyone to read my fics. i just published a new one. the second chapter will be up tomorrow oh my god please read it.

4. What drew you to these platforms and why do you stay?

when i first started writing/reading fanfic on wattpad, i was specifically really drawn to the community that was on there! i felt so safe and welcomed by everyone in that space and that was really exciting for me. shoutout to those guys. on ao3, i really love how easy to navigate the website is, specifically the search and post new work functions. similarly, i love how kind most people have been to me but ao3 is less about the community for me than wattpad was--i think the differing natures of the commenting function on both website create a different space, as well as the fact that you can't dm on ao3. ao3 isn't meant as social media (even if some of us use it like that)--and that's fine!--but you can tell lol. i think i'm more drawn to ao3 than wattpad nowadays because of how much more accessible it is (no account needed 90% of the time, no ads, better search bar, etc.) and how much easier it is to read on there.

5. How long have you been engaging with the site Archive of Our Own specifically?

i first made an account and started posting in 2019! i was doing the pjo/hoo big bang and needed an account to participate so i caved and requested an invite, and i haven't looked back since.

6. What does your engagement with the platform look like?

a lot of reading, a lot of writing! i use the mark for later button a lot.

7. How often do you engage with the platform?

like, a lot. honestly. its kind of bad how much i use ao3.

8. What are your favourite aspects of the platform?

like i said above, i LOVE that i can mark fics for later and come back to them when i have more time or brain capacity or interest or whatever. that's one of my favorite buttons to press. i also really like how easy it is to see comments that people have left on my work! also there are no ads and that's like, holy grail of features these days.

9. Do you think that you engage with all of the elements available on the platform?

i like to this i take advantage of most of the website, but while i know that other people do this and the feature does get used, i don't personally subscribe to fics or users. i have all email notifications off except for the add to collections requests lol. i also don't personally make collections, but it's a cool feature anyways and i don't mind being in other people's collections (i consider it an honor!).

10. Are there any elements of the platform that frustrate you?

this is objectively a hot take but tbqh i don't love that my fics can be downloaded to people's personal devices. i have heard the plethora of reasons people do it and i know how many people do it and i know that it's , like, not something i can control or fight against so im not even gonna try, but i uh. don't love that, personally. i can see why people like the feature and i get it, honestly i do, i just. yeah. it's not my favorite thing.

11. Of the fanfiction sites you frequent, where would you rank the site as a whole and why?

ao3 is the only fanfiction site i frequent these days! i'm not counting tumblr because i don't like the format of reading fics on here lol.

12. What do other platforms have that Archive of Our Own does not, which you enjoy interacting with?

ooooh hm. i simultaneously really like and don't like that you can't send dms on ao3. i liked that kind of direct contact you had with your readers on wattpad, but that contact just isn't really part of ao3's mission and i get that!

13. Are there any features unique to Archive of Our Own that you enjoy?

marked for later! aaaa!! my beloved!!!

14. If Archive of Our Own were to develop a mobile app, what features would you like to see?

i think i'd like it to stay similar to the website tbh. there's not much i'm looking for in an app that isn't already in the website.

15. Would you like the app to be similar in aesthetic and function to the already established website?

oh definitely! i think if it was too different it wouldn't feel like ao3 and i wouldn't enjoy using it so much.

16. Are there any features you would like to see added to the platform in the app?

hm. we can block users now which is a win but it'd be interesting to be able to block tags. you can exclude them from the search, but it'd be nice to not even have to worry about doing that.

i hope this helps!! best of luck with your project :D

#ask

2 notes · View notes

robbiedaymonds · 7 months

Text

I was tagged by @slowtides to talk about what I've been reading lately! Here's a couple things I've read this year so far. I was a little slow with reading the first 4 or 5 months since I was finishing grad school, but I've read all of the above in the last five or so months. I can talk a little about each of them!

The Eye of the World - I finally started on The Wheel of Time series this year. A friend of mine in college about ten years ago told me to read this and with the show, I decided to give it a try. I really thoroughly enjoyed this first book. I found Rand and Mat's storylines a little less exciting than Perrin and Egwyane but otherwise I really loved this and I'm already reading book two! I really want to read the whole series.

Elantris - my very first Sanderson novel. I'm so glad I started with this one as it was his first (written and published) novel so now I can see how his writing has evolved. This was such an interesting concept and really fueled my imagination and made me want to write again. It was surprisingly easy to read (for some reason I was expecting his writing to be denser and harder to get through but now I realize why he's so popular!) and I flew through it. I really want to get my own copy and annotate it while rereading it.

Bloom Into You - A manga series recommended to me by a person irl for reasons. I haven't read manga in a long time and I've never read a non-magical manga before. It was super cute!

Where the Nightmares Go - was throughly enjoyable. The first and last stories in particular were WOW. The second one (I think it was the second, maybe the third) was so terrifying that I literally could not allow myself to picture it in my head as I was reading or I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep for like a week. Highly recommend if you like horror and uncanny fiction.

The Ex-Girlfriend of my Girlfriend.... - It was good! Very lesbian centric (I was feeling a little bi-erasure) but as I'm trying to explore my queerness, I was happy to read through these situations. The latter parts of the book definitely felt a bit more bi-positive and openly queer (umbrella term) so I think it was worthwhile to read. The bright colors and illustrations were also very fun.

Nettle and Bone - After graduating I read a lot of novellas because it was easier than full novels. This was my first T. Kingfisher and will not be my last. The topic was women and breaking cycles and dealing with family and finding independence and also about hot-silver-fox-fighters and demonic chickens. Cannot go wrong.

High Times In the Low Parliament - Another novella. Totally bizarre and amazing. Fae/faeries, government, sapphics, lots of drugs. It was super enjoyable and I think maybe the first novella I read after graduating??? So it's gonna stick with me. I might even purchase a copy.

Off With Her Head - What promised to be a historical breakdown of misogyny unfortunately turned into a repeated argument for 75% of the book, with the only actually engaging chapters being the ones with historical research. It will definitely make you angry if you are a women or are anti-patriarchy, but after a while the anger will get tiring until you get to The One Juicy Historical chapter. I don't usually read nonfiction so this was maybe not the best thing for me to read.

White Cat, Black Dog - I can't say much about this except that Kelly Link is my favorite short story author and I got this practically brand new book for $10 at a used book store. One or two stories were a little meh for me, but nothing downright awful. I love the way this is retellings of other fairytales but feels sooooo different you'd never know it until you read the acknowledgements or notice that the original tales titles are written at the beginning under the titles. I particularly loved the retelling of Tam Lin.

This is for anyone who wants to write a bit about what they've been reading or what's been engaging for them lately! If you want to share, please do! Also tagging a few people: @twoheartsoneclara @antoine-triplett @actuallylorelaigilmore @spellmansabrina @thyla

#tagged in #ashlee talks

6 notes · View notes

seyaryminamoto · 1 year

Note

Any thoughts on the upcoming atla movie featuring the gaang in their adult years? I’m clinging to the idea that if I don’t like it, I can pretend it never happened and find solace in fanfiction, just as some people do regarding the comics and even LoK. But it’s not doing much to comfort me. I just wish they’d leave this characters and this universe alone and move on new things. But if you’re optimistic about it, please don’t let my skepticism ruin your excitement. It might be a good movie.

Oh, anon... me, optimistic about canon? There's a handful of franchises where I do trust the canon direction and where I do believe the authors/writers/showrunners/creators have a proper purpose in the content they're making. As active a fic writer as I may be, Avatar, I'm afraid, is not one of them.

This doesn't mean I believe the upcoming movie is guaranteed to suck... but it does mean that I'm hardly the most optimistic person when it comes to any post-ATLA content. To this day, I can't say I've been happy with anything they've created after the first show ended. I have a lot of gripes with ATLA's canon as it is, but as I find it so engaging and I think its potential is immense, I still can cherish the original show while acknowledging quite often that it's not perfect. Meanwhile... I can't really enjoy the comics. I enjoyed LOK Book 1 when I first watched it... the rest of the show soured the entire concept of the sequel series for me later. I haven't touched the novels because I'm afraid I won't like what's in there either, and I feel like me and the fandom will be better off if I don't read them because, if I find stuff there that sits ill with me, I'll probably criticize it for a long time and everyone who loved it will be upset at my criticism, while I'll just be upset at having things to criticize, and everyone will just be miserable...

Anyway. This movie, and Avatar Studios as a whole, have to achieve one thing in order for me to have even a smidge of hope for its future:

I need to know they have purpose and direction.

This is fundamentally what I've found lacking in everything that has followed the completion of ATLA. I really don't know what the purpose and direction of most post-canon content was, it felt like most of it didn't have any (and when they did have purpose, they didn't necessarily fulfill that purpose in a satisfactory way, either). If there's no purpose and direction? Then slice-of-life shenanigans would be perfect! Give me glimpses at how people live their lives after the war ended, simple plotlines that are character-centric and that allow those characters to have agency, to evolve as individuals and to make the most of a world where the war is finally over!

Without purpose and direction, there's no point to attempting to tell epic tales because they'll fall flat, especially when they're following up something that DID have purpose and direction, as in, the entirety of ATLA. Sometimes, stories feel complete because they are. When they're extended further just for the sake of making a bigger profit, the risk of breaking open that sense of completion means that what may have worked at first might stop working in the future. If you add too many pieces of machinery that just weren't part of the original design of a device, the once-smoothly-working device will get cluttered and eventually stop working: that's how it feels for me when I see stuff that gets extended without purpose and direction, be it in this fandom or any others.

I can't have blind hope for these movies. I won't have any real expectations from them until I actually understand what their purpose and direction will be. If that purpose and direction happens to be something like witnessing how our ATLA heroes built Republic City in the era of peace they've brought forward, and how they protect that peace from realistic and reasonable threats against it? (... as in, no spirit shenanigans, no exaggerated benders that retcon things that were established in canon, among other things that appear to be the bread and butter of post-ATLA storytelling) I'll be good with that. But if that purpose and direction is actually "let's make up a sudden, new, BIGGER threat than the Hundred Year War, a threat that was never referenced in LOK and that had no impact on the ATLA characters' story because there's no actual consequences to it in any of our other post-canon content, all be it so we can prioritize big, flashy and epic bending battles over story quality!" then... I don't need that in my life, simple as that.

In short, if I don't sense that there's purpose and direction, I'll just not watch the movies or anything Avatar Studios releases. Again, it will be for the best for the fandom and for myself if that's the case... because I think we all have more fun when I'm having fun too rather than just raging about canon's choices :'D feels like that should be the point of fandom after all...

So, I'm basically on the same boat as you. I don't really think they HAVE to stop producing content for the franchise, but I don't think I can genuinely enjoy what they do unless they actually commit to telling stories worth telling again. Evidently, I have no power over whatever they may do, neither do you, so they'll just do whatever they feel like doing... but if canon goes nowhere with these movies, I'll just wish them well and stick to what I love. It's what I'm participating in fandom for, to begin with.

#anon #as for the azula comic #... same concept applies #I wish I could trust that Hicks will do a great job #I don't think I distrust her as much as I would Yang #but I still keep a certain emotional distance there #because damn I've just seen this franchise do a lot of questionable things by now #I've been here for a decade #and I just wanna vibe with things I love #if I can't love canon then I don't vibe with canon and it's healthier if people who do #get to vibe with that #while I stick to my own little happy place #much like you wish to anon

10 notes · View notes