#i have eaten more rice and more 'vegetables' in the last couple months than in the last two years in total | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

annakie · 3 years

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A Lot of Words about a Thing

This is a “I’m writing this out so next time someone asks I can just point them to this (or copy/paste) instead of having to type it again” thing.

I’ve been doing Hello Fresh for the last two or three months and I thought I’d talk about the ups and downs of it and if I’m going to keep doing it. This is not an endorsement (which will be clear when you get to the overall middling scoring), but I will put a link at the bottom so we can both get a deal if you want to try it.

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So anyway, I had been thinking about doing a meal kit for a long time but pulled the trigger on it back in... like Mid-January, I guess?

the tl;dr of it all is that I like it and I’ll probably keep doing it for awhile, but it’s not for everyone, and is expensive for what it is, especially if you already know how to cook.

Before I started, I made myself sit down and write out a quick list of what I wanted to get out of trying a meal kit experience, so I’ll rate how successful or not each one of those things is.

First of all, I want to also say, I can already cook. I’m a pretty good cook. I can follow a recipe and improvise successfully when necessary usually. One reason why a lot of people do a meal kit is because they need to learn how to cook and that definitely wasn’t me.

Also, they offer a variety of number and portions on meals to try. I get three meals a week, with two portions a meal, which means I cook Hello Fresh for dinner one night, and usually the next night have the leftovers. Friday night is usually “Yay You Made It To The Weekend, You Get To Order Takeout” night. You can order for several more meals a week, and for up to four portions in each meal, if you want.

So on to the reasons why I decided to try HF, with a grading of how I feel about each one after trying.

Reason One: Try Something New

I was super excited at the beginning of the pandemic now working from home full time, because this was a great chance to really start trying some new recipes. I had fallen into a pretty bad rut for awhile of some of the same frozen type meals or just making super easy things for dinner and sandwiches for lunch pre-pandemic. Even though my commute was stupid easy I often felt too wiped at the end of the day to make like, real meals. So when the pandemic hit and I was Home All The Time, for the first couple of months I was buying interesting ingredients (what I could get my hands on at the time) and really digging into making new and interesting things. Even baking my own bread and bought some new kitchen gadgets like a pressure cooker to expand my repertoire.

By like... the end of summer... well the good news was that I was still cooking and hadn’t fallen back to a packaged-food routine most of the time (though still some frozen pizzas or bags of pre-made Asian or Italian food you cook on the stovetop mostly for lunch) but also I had more or less found The Ten Things I Make (like Spaghetti, a great chicken and rice dish that is so good and makes about 6 meals worth of leftovers) and I was real tired of like, recipe hunting. The most work I was then doing was finding new pressure cooker recipes and tbh almost all of what I was making was Chicken In Some Kind of Sauce Over Rice. I was burned out.

So Hello Fresh... has been great for that. I have only made the same thing a couple of times and those were only because i loved them so much the first time I wanted that thing again. For the most part, I have tried just a ton of new things, including some ingredients I’ve never worked with before or really thought I wouldn’t like! And I did! I feel like I am often trying something I have never made before.

Reason 1.5: Variety

OK this is hand-in-hand with Something New but also slightly different.

Try Something New would be rated like a 4.5 out of 5 stars.... but some stars are taken away though, because a lot of their recipes are very similar. For a protein, there’s like, chicken breasts, hamburger meat, pork chops, chicken sausage and pork sausage. Occasionally steak. Basically every meal will start with one of those things.... oh and I guess there’s like some fish choices, but I hate fish. There’s also vegetarian options, which I have only occasionally gotten. So within the variety, there’s a lot of similarities.

Also there are a lot of same ingredients in their recipes. I have grated a lot of lemons and limes. I have chopped up a lot of carrots, green onions, and potatoes (so many potatoes.) I have consumed more sour cream than I ever have. I have started looking for ways to add even a little more variety to the things that are often-repeats that they give you.

But part of that is my fault -- I am mostly selecting items that I know I will like, or can modify to how I like. There are a lot of veggie and fish-based choices I could pick up most weeks which I avoid.

And almost everything I��ve ever made... I’d make again. I save all the recipe cards so that someday when I don’t wanna do HF anymore, I will have all them all handy to make later. The HF Subreddit also has a lot of resources like how to do their custom spice mixes, very handy. There’s been maybe 3 things I’ve made which I’d say were Just Okay, but nothing I’d say that was bad. And some of the ideas in this paragraph I talk about more, further down.

But also on the topic of “Variety” -- since every meal I make has two portions (occasionally I will stretch something to three) -- points are given back because I’m not “Making a huge pot of spaghetti that I eat for five meals in a row.” So that’s good, even if it means more cooking overall.

So honestly, on Something New overall, I’ll give this like a 3.5 out of 5 stars, correcting up to 4 stars on a curve, since I strike entire categories of their offerings based on my own tastes. They offer a pretty good variety of meals to select, and part of the problem here is my fault for hating All Seafood and not being thrilled with the vegetarian options (I also don’t feel like I’m getting my money’s worth without a protein) so there are a lot of meals re-using similar ingredients. It slides back down to a 3.5 though when you factor in Reasons 3 & 4 below.

Reason Two: Kill Analysis Paralysis

A thing I found increasingly happening by the end of last year was analysis paralysis. Especially as I started a new job where I’m much, much busier (but happier) in October. I would find myself staring at the fact that I’d have to make the decision on What To Make For Dinner and dreading it more and more. It wasn’t really the cooking I hated, but the deciding what to cook, which got me into the lack of variety rut. More often than I’d like to admit I’d just make a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese or like... just... toast... for dinner because the decision-making part of my brain was tired... or out of spoons as the kids say these days.

This is maybe my favorite part of Hello Fresh overall. Once every week or two I log onto HF, pick what I’m going to eat like... 5 or 6 weeks in the future, which I can do at a time when I have that decision-making energy, and forget about it. Every Monday a box shows up on my doorstep, I see what nice things I picked out for myself several weeks ago, and the most I have to decide is which order I will make those things in.

So when it’s a “Make Dinner” day, I don’t have that “shit, I have to make a decision” feeling. I already know because I pre-planned it back when I wasn’t at the end of a long workday. It’s one of those small, dumb things that really really helps me mentally in an almost inexplicable way. And I can feel better about myself because I didn’t eat something dumb for dinner. And I still allow myself to make easy things for lunch, like a small frozen pizza, a sandwich and some chips, or hey, Kraft Dinner. And sometimes I do make a big pot of Spaghetti or something that I love and will just have that for lunch every day for a week, and so I don’t have to feel like I’m always cooking.

And on Eat HF Leftovers For Dinner nights, that’s even better, because I have a tasty meal and it just had to get reheated in the microwave or stovetop. Some meals are easy to half-prepare ahead of time on day one, and just do the last steps on leftover night the next night to have fresher dinner easily.

Just 5 out of 5 stars here. This is my favorite part.

Reason Three: Eat More Vegetables.

Uh, yeah, I’m terrible about eating veggies on my own. The best I can do usually is buy a bag of mixed greens and try to have a side salad with dinner, or buy bags of frozen foods and hope they come with veggies I’d eat.

So the good thing here, is that when HF sends me vegetables to make, if it’s a veggie I like, I’ll probably make it.

The big problem, though, is that there’s no substitutions. And I’m still not gonna eat brussell sprouts or, broccoli, or mushrooms. I was a sport and tried making them (except the mushrooms) the first time I got recipes that used them as sides. And nope... still cant.

But hey, I have done a lot better at eating more fresh green beans, and onions, and carrots, and peppers. Though sometimes I just snack on the bell pepper instead of cooking it. Still, I call it a win.

I really, really wish I could trade out the side-dish vegetables I know I won’t eat for like, a small side salad, an apple, or hey, even just... carrots! But nope, no substitutions. =\ I’d score this way better if we could do so.

Still, I’m doing better here, and overall, more vegetables are being eaten. So, 3 out of 5 stars.

Reason Four: Waste Less Food

The amount of fruit and vegetables I’ve ordered and thrown away over the last year make me cringe. I would order things with every intention of eating them and then just... not. Oh yeah I need two lemons, an orange and two limes in case I make ____ recipe! I need a new bag of baby carrots to snack on and make a side dish and cut into a salad!

And then I maybe... maybe use half of that before it goes bad.

Probably less. Because of the Analysis Paralysis and not trying new things. You run into that problem where you don’t have the ingredients on hand to make a new thing so you can’t make a new thing... but then you buy them but forgot (crucial thing) so the thing still doesn’t get made. Or you just... don’t plan when you’re gonna make the thing and by the time I’d be like “Oh yeah I should make something with those vegetables” they’d have already turned.

SO... I felt shitty throwing away so much produce, and loaves of bread, and other perishable food that got maybe half-eaten. So much, for so long. Yeah, I know I could do better with my meal planning, but it’s been one of those things I always vow to do, and then did not do that thing.

Doing HF has really made me re-evaluate what I buy as groceries, and I have cut way down on ordering unnecessary produce and perishables like bread. Because I don’t really have to worry about dinner and am allowing myself to do easy lunches that don’t require real “cooking.” So, overall I am definitely buying and tossing less food.

Also just as another quick note -- what also tends to get tossed out of my HF boxes is a “spicy ingredient” But in some ways, this works in HF’s favor. I don’t really like spicy foods. A small amount of spice is OK but I’d rather just do without it in most things, sorry I’m that white girl. Most “Spicy” HF meals get spicy by a spice blend, a packet of sriracha / hot sauce, or a jalapeno which they want you to cut up and include. So whenever I see something that looks good but listed as “spicy”, I can check the ingredient list first and see what makes it spicy, If I think the thing still sounds good without the spicy part, I can order it. So yeah, I’ll toss spicy ingredients, but that is 100% my choice and it makes things better because it gives me more variety to order those meals and still make it to my own taste.

Oh, and occasionally, the produce is just bad when you get it or not long after. I haven’t had this problem often, mostly with ginger and garlic. I do evaluate which meal has the most perishables when I get my box on Mondays and make those first. Apparently you can call customer service if this happens for a small credit, but I just use pre-diced garlic or powdered ginger when this has happened to me.

So, this would be a 4.5 out of 5 except for... as discussed above... I end up tossing out HF vegetables on occasion I know I hate and won’t eat, and they won’t let me make substitutions.

But also... cooking for myself... when I make a big batch of something that lasts 4 - 6 portions... more often than I’d like to admit, the last portion or two would never get eaten. Sometimes I’d TELL myself I’d eat them in a week or so and freeze them only to throw it all away months later.

So let’s call this a 4 out of 5. Overall, significantly less food waste with HF.

Reason Five: Save Time

I thought that doing HF would mean less prep-work and less time in the kitchen, especially with their easy-to-follow recipes and pre-measured ingredients.

So in that way, yes, time is saved, and it so again takes that mental load off in a lot of ways of not having to make all those pesky decisions. The materials you’re working with and what you need to do are all Right There for you. It’s really, nice.

As a side note, like I said I’m a good cook, and I haven’t had any problems following along anything I’ve made, but there were a few things I think are more of a moderate skill level and could be a little challenging for newcomers. But then, I see people on the HF subreddit all the time saying they learned to cook with no skill and they find the recipes easy so... we’re good there.

However, Saving Time loses points for two big reasons:

First, I’m only making two portions of each meal. Which, ok... this is my decision. I could order four portions per meal. But then... hey that’s taking big points away on the “variety” front.

The Vegetable Chopping / prep work on a lot of the recipes often takes 10 - 20 minutes, depending on the number of fruits and veggies. So yay for meeting Goal #3 (more veggies) even if it is balanced out by Goal #5.

And unfortunately, most meals end up taking up more dishes than I’d like to clean up (usually at least a pan and baking sheet, sometimes also a pot. Plus knife, cutting board, tongs, stirring spoon, maybe a zester, etc.) So no time is saved on cleanup, either.

Mostly where time is saved is having to pick out recipes and making sure you have/buy all the ingredients. Not much is saved in the actual cooking.

I do, however, enjoy the time I spent cooking and the knowledge that I’m gonna make something good, so we’ll give it a bit back, there.

As a time saver, I’d give HF a 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Reason Six: Save Money

Y’all, Hello Fresh is expensive. Honestly the #1 reason I re-evaluate whether I want to keep going with it every few weeks is the cost. Even though I can afford it.

For basically six meals a week, I’m paying $63 for the food, plus $9 for the shipping.

Which means I’m paying $12 a meal. For food I make myself.

Not cheap. A luxury.

Where I don’t feel quite so bad about it is the fact that... for the most part, I am wasting a lot less food. Except, as mentioned, when I can’t swap out vegetables I hate for something I’d actually eat.

So that makes it irk me even more when I am throwing out vegetables I really hate, because they’re expensive vegetables.

Also that price tag is motivation to make and eat every meal.

Overall, my grocery bills have gone down... honestly pretty significantly. Because I’m not overbuying food! Now, they haven’t gone down enough to even out the cost for Hello Fresh... I’m still probably spending about 50% more overall for each dinner now than I was before.

This isn’t a cost savings. It’s an expense, but one I can afford. And part of writing out this post is to remind myself to decide when the experience is no longer worth the expense.

1 out of 5 stars.

Reason Seven: Eat Better

I would like to challenge myself to define “Better” because that’s all I wrote down when I made the list.

Healthier? Eeeehhhhhh.... maybe? But not much.

Hello Fresh does offer lighter choices, and sometimes I pick those because they look good and are filled with things I will eat!

But I’m just as likely to pick the most calor-ific things on the menu.

HF also adds a lot of Sour Cream to their recipes, and encourage you to salt and butter your food liberally. I try to cut down on some of this where I think it’s too much. But sometimes there’s not much to cut out and still have the meal you ordered.

But also I’m not eating any worse calorie-wise than I was before, probably. And overall I’m eating a lot more “real food” instead of “packaged food” and fast food than I was.... especially pre-pandemic. And again, I AM eating a lot more vegetables, so.... that’s... better?

If I define better as Tastier, yeah, I’m doing pretty good in that regard, haha.

So Better as in healthier: 2.5 of 5 stars.

Better as in tastier: 4 out of 5 stars.

Overall Scoring & Tips

Okay, overall that comes out to a 3.18 out of 5, which I’d round up to a 3.5... which is a pretty good score for how I feel about HF overall. My current plan is to keep doing it until I go back to working in the office again, and re-evaluate. For now, it works for me.

IF YOU WANT TO TRY IT, this is my referral link, you’ll get $70 off over a month’s worth of meals (so like, $20 or something off 3 boxes and $10 off the last one, something like that.

I also have four “Free box” codes to give out, PM me if you want one of those. I don’t think those are compatible with the $70 off link, but it might be a box of completely free food for you? I don’t know how it works, but this may be the better deal? PM me.

If you decide to go for it, here’s a few tips:

Every week or two, go in and choose your meals, don’t let HF choose for you unless you really don’t care.

Read the ingredient list and make sure there’s not too much stuff you don’t like coming in a meal.

The extras are pretty expensive and not really worth it.

Plan on each meal taking about 45 minutes to cook from start to finish including chopping vegetables. Another 10 - 20 with cleanup depending if you have to handwash dishes or not.

Look for ways to make the meal healthier, especially if it encourages you to add more butter and salt near the end. You probably do NOT need to do so.

Buy a decent pepper. I love McCormick’s Peppercorn Medley pepper grinder. Also sea salt grinder is my personal salt preference.

Add some of your own seasonings. I buy a jar of pre-diced garlic (yes yes I know the criticisms of the stuff but it’s easy) and throw in a half tablespoon or so of that into a lot of recipes. Also there are a lot of potatoes that they want you to just cook with olive oil, salt and pepper. Throw some garlic or onion salt on them, or some Lawry’s Seasoning Salt or steak salt of your choice for some variety.

Your basic 2 quart pot, 8 - 12″ frying pan and cookie sheet, plus a cutting board, decent veggie knife, and typical kitchen utensil set are all you need. However, a decent meat thermometer and a zester that collects the zest as you go are both highly recommended.

A sieve and very small rice cooker have also been a lifesaver for making good rice that doesn’t get overcooked.

#personal post tag thingy #hello fresh #food #meal kit #meal kits

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sparrowstrikewrites · 4 years

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Flaming Oven Character Study Part 1

Naruto Uzumaki (age 9) and Iruka Umino (age 23)

The oven’s on fire because Naruto doesn’t know how to use it, so it’s basically a cupboard in his mind and Iruka never thought to check whether there was anything in the oven before preheating.

Little Naruto’s response: “I don’t think this is how oven’s work, but I don’t know enough about oven’s to argue.”

Iruka’s response: “I didn’t sign up for this. I’m not getting paid enough for this-- wait, I’m not at work, I’m not getting paid.” *Puts out fire and walks away* “Nope. Not fixing this. Throw the whole house out.”

Iruka first started to wonder when Naruto showed up for class in a rumpled shirt. It didn’t smell, but was the sort of rumpled that implies it was fished out of the laundry basket. Naruto was only 7 and kids that age like to dress themselves but lack any and all common sense, so he brushed it off.

Iruka started to get suspicious when Naruto showed up for class with a fever and a cough that shook his whole little body. The 8 year old staggered into class, dropped into his seat, laid his head down on the desk, and was out in seconds. Iruka had to shake him awake and send him to the nurse’s office propped up between Kiba and Shikamaru.

The nurse let Naruto sleep in her office until lunch time and then she sent him home with fever tablets and a cough suppressant. She told Iruka not to worry. Kids this age were basically germ factories.

Iruka started asking questions when the week before the annual physicals, he found Naruto eating raw carrots and broccoli. The kid was going to town like he was starving and the vegetables were some sort of delicacy, but his face said he was doing his best not to cry or puke.

“How’s lunch?” Iruka asked.

Naruto stared up at him with a fading black eye and sighed like he was weary of the world at only 9 years old. “Horrible, but I read you’ve got to eat vegetables to grow.”

Iruka snorted. Naruto was a good 2 inches shorter than the other boys in the class and like all kids his age, it was a sore point.

“I don’t think cramming in vegetables before your physical is going to make much of a difference,” Iruka teased. “You really can’t cram for stuff like this.”

Naruto stared down at the half eaten head of broccoli in his hand. “Well, after last year, the nurse already told me she was going to check my shoes for padding, so this was kind of plan B.” He then took another sad bite of the broccoli. “Iruka-sensei, why are vegetables both expensive and disgusting?”

Iruka shrugged. “They’re not that expensive and I think they taste better cooked.”

“They’re more expensive than instant ramen and I guess some of them tast okay if you put them in the ramen, but the flavors don’t always go together.”

Iruka laughed. “You really need to eat something other than ramen.”

“I don’t know how to cook anything else. Except rice, but it always boils over and then I have to clean the stove and if I clean the stove, I don’t have time to do laundry,” Naruto lamented.

Iruka’s face fell and a dozen questions crowded his tongue. “Do you always cook and do the laundry?”

Naruto nodded. “There’s no laundry fairy.” He grinned up at Iruka like he’d said a great joke. “I also vacuum and dust and scrub the bathroom, but not as often as I should. There’s not enough hours in the day, you know?”

Iruka looked like he’d been slapped. “Yeah, I know.” There was a pile of laundry sitting in the corner of his little apartment that needed done. He’d eaten out for the last week, because there wasn’t time to go grocery shopping. The spider in the corner of his windowsill had been there long enough that Iruka had given it a name. But those were adult problems.

Naruto wasn’t grinning anymore. He mirrored Iruka’s frown and tried to figure out what he’d said wrong.

“Hey, Naruto, would you like to learn to cook some more stuff?” Iruka asked.

Naruto’s grin returned.

---

Iruka arrived at Naruto’s apartment (he’d found the address in Naruto’s school records, because the kid was horrible at giving directions) a little after 5 that evening with an armload of groceries.

The hairs on the back of Iruka’s neck prickled as he got close. He could feel Naruto’s chakra, the Fox’s chakra.

Iruka shoved aside his unease and pasted on a smile. Naruto was not the Fox and Iruka refused to treat them as one and the same.

Naruto was watching the street and came jogging down the stairs to help carry everything up to the third floor where he lived.

Iruka surveyed the little loft while Naruto ransacked the bags of groceries. The only decorations on the walls were a small child’s drawings. The bed was made, a bit rumpled and crooked, but an obvious effort had been made. A few well-worn plush were neatly set up on the bed, because of course that would be a kid’s priority. The dirty clothes were mostly contained to a not quite overflowing laundry basket. A couple shirts that Iruka recognized as Naruto’s favorites were laid out on the floor to dry and a bucket of soapy water was sitting by the laundry basket, waiting for the next load.

It wasn’t a bad space, but it confirmed Iruka’s suspicions. There was only one person living here. There’d only been one person living here for a long time.

Iruka closed his eyes. He’d been on his own for a long time, too. After he lost his parents, his Aunt and Uncle gave him a room in their house. They kept him fed and clothed until he made chuunin and he could support himself. They never tried to fill the void his parents’ left, but he was still grateful to them. Naruto didn’t even have that.

“I brought stuff to make a casserole. It’s really easy and I think you’ll ike it because all the vegetables are hidden under a bunch of cheese and potatoes,” Iruka said.

Naruto set down the green pepper he was suspiciously sniffing and nodded.

“First, we start preheating the oven…”

Iruka showed Naruto how to layer the food in a big glass dish.

Naruto kneeled on a barstool to see the countertop and chattered the whole time.

Neither of them noticed anything amiss until the smoke alarm over the stove started to beep.

Iruka turned around to see black smoke billowing out of the oven door.

“Is that supposed to happen?” Naruto asked. “I’ve never used the oven.” He looked up at Iruka curiously, not yet concerned.

For 3 heartbeats, Iruka just stared. DO NOT PANIC! he ordered himself. DO NOT PANIC AND SCARE NARUTO!!!!

“Laundry water,” Iruka stammered at last. His voice was surprisingly level.

Naruto cocked his head to the side and frowned.

“Take the clothes out of the washing bucket and bring me the water,” Iruka repeated. His voice was just a little higher pitched than normal and his hands twitched at his sides, unsure what exactly to do.

Naruto jumped off the stool and did as he was told.

Iruka grabbed the oven mits off the counter, turned off the oven, and, when Naruto reappeared with a bucket of soapy water, Iruka yanked the oven door open and chucked the whole bucket inside.

The mess inside steamed, sputtered, and smelled awful-- like burning plastic and garbage.

Iruka gagged and turned to Naruto. “What was in there?”

Naruto ran a hand through his hair and winced at the smouldering mess. “I don’t know. Junk I don’t use and the garbage can. I keep it there so I don’t have to look at it all the time.”

Iruka refilled the bucket from the sink and dumped it in the oven again. The fire was good and out, but the whole apartment skunk horribly and the kitchen area was covered in a fine layer of soot.

“Let’s go to Ichiraku. I’m buying.”

Naruto whooped and bolted for the door to put on his shoes.

Iruka just stared at the ruined oven and shook his head. This is like the adult version of microwaving the instant noodles without water, only worse. The place would need scrubbed and aired out. Naruto would need a new stove and some place to stay for a few days.

“Before we go, why don’t you throw some clothes in a bag. You should probably not sleep here until I can get this cleaned up,” Iruka told Naruto.

“Can I stay with you, Iruka-sensei?”

“Yup. And we’ll try cooking lessons again tomorrow.”

Naruto laughed and beamed. “I’ve never had a sleepover before. If I knew all it took was a flaming oven, I would have set that thing on fire a long time ago!”

Iruka laughed too then. It was either laugh or cry and he didn’t want to cry in front of Naruto.

A one night sleepover became a week. Bit by bit, Naruto’s things materialized in Iruka’s apartment. Iruka taught Naruto how to make katsudon, casserole, and ramen from scratch that they both agreed wasn’t quite as good as Ichiraku Ramen.

No one questioned the change when Naruto came to school everyday in clean clothes with a balanced lunch. Or when he suddenly was completing his homework and no longer napping during the day.

Iruka still had a pack of dust bunnies under his bed and Kuro-chan was paying rent in dead flies from the windowsill, but the laundry in the corner didn’t pile up anymore. Laundry was Naruto’s favorite chore, especially since Iruka’s apartment building had an electric washer and dryer in the basement.

Iruka did his grading from the kitchen table now. Naruto sat across from him and did his homework after dinner.

At 10, Iruka steered the kid to the little office turned bedroom. The bed was sloppily made, but a handful of well loved plush were carefully arranged by the pillow and Naruto thought it was the best bedroom in the world.

---

Dear Esteemed Hokage-sama,

I am writing to you in regards to Uzumaki Naruto’s living situation. His apartment is currently uninhabitable. There was a small kitchen fire (absolutely not Naruto’s fault), but it was sufficient to fill the small apartment with smoke. I take full responsibility for the situation and have taken Naruto back to my apartment. He will stay there as long as need be. It could easily be a couple months at least. The oven will need replaced and the smoke probably sunk into the drywall, so all of that will need to be ripped out and replaced. I did some research, and with the age of the building, there could be asbestos in the walls, so the demolition isn’t something that can just be done willy-nilly…

Hiruzen set the letter down, it rambled on for another page and a half, and picked up a pen.

Iruka,

If you are comfortable with the arrangement, I agree it’s best that Naruto stay with you indefinitely. Please endeavour to avoid any further incidents. Children are impressionable and have enough of an affinity for fire as it.

-Hiruzen Sarutobi

#naruto #iruka #another adoption AU #one shot #character study #slice of life #in honor of my flaming oven #mine

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flamestoflight · 4 years

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candid.

this is a breaking point

i really have not been taking care of myself lately. i’ve been neglecting my physical health and my mental health to an extent that i haven’t done in years. everything is just happening so fast and all at once. graduation, a new job, a new city, a new apartment, a hard and painful breakup, an exciting new relationship, an upcoming trip, trying to get my licensure in order before I leave, dealing with all the new employee stuff.....it’s just a lot. it’s a hell of a lot. and i’ve been neglecting every aspect of caring for my physical and mental health for the past month.

it started after i finished my last rotation in early December. I was in the mindset of “fuck it, I’m finally done with school, I have 2 months until I start a real job, I’m just going to let loose and not care during this time period because it’s an opportunity i won’t have again.” And I was right about that, I will never have 2 months like this again. I will likely never even have a full week like this again - free to do whatever with my days, no 8 hours a day/5 days a week work. and at first it was in the name of mental and physical health. a rest from nonstop grinding for yearssssss. A rest from 4:30am alarms to get to the gym before work, of working 10 hours and then coming home and studying, of 5 hours of class followed by 3 hours of clinic followed by studying for my exam the next day, of meal prepping and skipping the dinner outing or the trip to the bar in the name of discipline, of working like an absolute dog to get to where I am.

But it’s turned bad. It’s turned into a blatant neglect for my health. I’ve stopped taking my prescribed meds, I’ve stopped working out, I’ve stopped eating well....some days I don’t eat at all and others I eat like shit for every single meal. My weight has fluctuated like crazy these past 2 months, low to high to low to high. I honest to god cannot tell you the last time I had a fruit that wasn’t a garnish on a drink. I haven’t cooked for myself in 2 months. I haven’t eaten brown rice or quinoa or spinach or chia seeds or oats or literally any vegetable or fruit or anything that used to be a staple for me.

I haven’t spent time outdoors. I haven’t read a book. I haven’t organized my space, I haven’t been washing my face, I haven’t had any semblance of a sleeping schedule.

and to a certain extent, that’s okay. You know, that’s living life and that’s being flexible and adaptable and understanding that your life isn’t supposed to fit in a box and you aren’t supposed to be a solid mold. I understand all that, and in a way I am proud of my ability to break out of my routine time and time again, and choose friends and late nights and beer and a weekend trip out of town over rigidity and strictness and anything that I am used to.

But it’s gone too far and it has been for a few weeks now and I’m just ignoring the problem as if it’s going to go away. To be fair to me, I have been emotionally all over the place and gone through ups and downs that I never saw coming. and i’ve been trying to handle this emotional whirlwind, trying to handle the nighttime depression that has started creeping back in, trying to handle the couple of panic attacks i’ve induced over the past month, trying to handle my tendencies to use food as a weapon against myself, to use self-deprivation (water, sleep, vegetables, fresh air) as weapon against myself. Trying to handle the overwhelming pressure I feel to be good at my new job, with my fancy new degree at a fancy new hospital and not let everyone down and not let myself down.

I kind of feel like I’ve lost myself a little bit. I haven’t been engaging in the things that have always been important to me. At least not the ones that only involve me. I’ve been very present in my relationship, present in my family life, present when it comes to making plans with friends. But I’ve lost the part of me that cares about the food she puts into her body, who respects her body and moves it every day, whether that be stretching and handstands or squatting and pressing or walking and hiking. I just haven’t been.

Yesterday I went with my boyfriend to get his hair cut and he said it was going to be about an hour and for 5 minutes I sat in the car mindlessly scrolling through my phone and that’s how I was planning to pass the time....and I instantly started getting anxious and antsy. Because that’s not me, that’s not what I do. I got out of the car and walked a little less than a mile to the local library and grabbed myself a latte and perused some books, sat down at a table and opened one at random and started reading. I walked!! outside. and I read!! a book. while i sipped my latte. THAT is me. That’s what I do, that’s the Lauren that’s engaged in her life, engaged in her surroundings, takes care of her mental stimulation and moves her body a bit.

It’s very tough for me to be in this state of transition. Nothing is permanent right now, everything, everything is about to change. And in order to deal with the impending change and the stress that’s associated with it, I’ve become lost in the moment. (as a side note, I think that living in the moment is extremely important and valuable. I, however, have become completely lost in it...directionless, unsure, lacking confidence, losing myself kind of lost). And I want to change that. I need to change that.

this is a breaking point.

And this breaking point comes at a really unfortunate time. I’m leaving in 2 days to fly to Tanzania, I’ll be gone for 10 days total in the wilderness with zero semblance of routine and zero control over any of it. Two days after I come back, I drive to my new city and start the move-in process. I’ll be in Baltimore for 5 days, I’ll be back home for part of the next week where I’ll be trying to figure out how to get my stuff out of storage, how to get my furniture from my ex, how move into my own place...and also trying to cram in seeing my boyfriend who will have started classes and has more limited time. I have to figure out how ad when to get the cats to Baltimore, I have to figure out what furniture I need and how to get it, where to get it, how much I can afford to spend. I have so little control over anything the next 2 weeks, my opportunities to work out will be slim to none, my opportunities to cook for myself and meal prep will be slim to none, my opportunities to decide how much time I get to spend with the people I care about and those that give me comfort will be slim to none.

but I can’t fight this breaking point anymore. It;s been a longggg time coming, and I’m almost relieved it’s here. Time to break out the journal, the planner, time to break out the attitude that gets shit done, time to break out the side of me that is fed up with my current bullshit and wants to be better. I can’t let this go forever. It’s grind time again. It’s time to sleep better, eat better, move better, treat other people better, engage more, work harder, get shit done. I cannot start my new job in this slump. I have to be on my A+ game from day one, out the gate. I have to show them why they hired me and what I can do for them. And that starts with reminding myself what I can do for myself.

And there’s balance to all of this. I’m not done drinking wine or eating ice cream or taking rest days or choosing to live in the moment with others. I just need to find my balance again. Restore the scales back to where they were, restore myself back to where I was. Bring myself back from the brink that I have been standing on for weeks and weeks and weeks. It’s not easy, the opportunities in the next 3 weeks will not be handed to me. I will have to fight for every single one of them, and make it a priority.

It starts tonight. It starts with getting my ass out of bed, drinking some water, making a salad for dinner, meal prepping some breakfast for tomorrow, getting to bed at a reasonable time. It continues tomorrow, when I get up at a reasonable time, get my ass to the gym, pack my bags for Tanzania, get all my travel documents in order, make the last purchases I need to make. Make my bed. Get outside. Take a fucking walk. Breathe some fresh air, read my book.

I’ve always been an all or nothing person. The last month, taking care of myself has been off my radar, it’s been at nothing. Tonight I start to bring it back. I don’t want to go back to “all,” because I know that side of it isn’t good for me. I know what I can end up doing when I put my everything into “bettering myself” - I know that that pendulum swings waaay to fast and too hard in the other direction. I’m gonna play some video games tonight still, I’m gonna facetime my boyfriend tonight still, I’m going to probably have a small glass of wine tonight still. I’m just going to also do better, be better than I have for the past month. Better to myself and better to others.

There is SO much I haven’t even covered in this post, but it’s a semblance of what I’ve been laying in bed for the past 3 hours thinking about. And it gets me going the way I need it to. I know what else is going on in my head, I know what else I need to address besides this ^. But this is a start. This is a breaking point. And even though I’m mentally tired and emotionally strained and physically under-nourished and dehydrated and my skin hates me and my body feels worn down and my motivation is close to zero....I’m walking headfirst into this.

My phoenix tattoo was inspired by a quote I saw: “in order to rise from its own ashes, a phoenix first must burn.” And at the time I got the tattoo there was a specific moment in mind, a specific time frame of my life that I was thinking of, I have come to realize that it can apply in many ways. I’m going to have a lot more downs in my life, I’m going to be burned in my life, I’m going to be reduced to ashes. But we rise up. That’s all we can do. We hit our bottom, we hit our breaking point, we gather ourselves, and we rise.

this is a breaking point. and i will rise.

#personal #did NOT proofread this lmfao #or even read it over

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hallsp · 5 years

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Ramadan Diary

Ramadan is a month of fasting, prayer, and self-reflection for the world’s two billion Muslims. The observance of Ramadan is one of the five pillars of Islam, a central tenet of the faith. The holy month itself commemorates the start of the recitation of the Qur’an to Mohammad, culminating in Laylat al-Qadr, the Night of Destiny, which celebrates the very first revelation.

The date for Ramadan varies from year to year, as the Islamic calendar is based on the movements of the moon, not the sun. This year, it began on the night of Sunday, May 5th, when the religious authorities glimpsed the thin crescent of a new moon.

I decided, after some encouragement from my students, to fast for all of Ramadan as a kind of personal challenge. This is a diary of my progress.

Monday, 6th May

Today was long, and hungry. I didn’t eat a morsel, nor drink a drop, all the livelong day. It wasn’t easy. I thought about food quite a lot. Bron, my roommate, is also fasting so we can do iftar together. An app tells me that the evening call to prayer, called maghrib, is at 19.27, but it began a small bit later — an agonizing two minutes — at about 19.29. Maryam, my other roommate, and raised Muslim, told me we have to wait until the prayer is finished, bless the food bismillah, and then eat. I broke the fast with some water and some dates, as is the custom, then devoured a chicken curry.

Tuesday, 7th May

Small bit easier today. Didn’t think of food so often. I was noticeably more tired though. I slept for an hour when I came home. Some strange reactions from some of the teachers to my fasting, but a lot of encouragement from fellow-fasters. Advice from other fasters includes waking at 3 or 4 AM for suhur, the pre-dawn meal, and easing into the iftar in the evenings with soup and salad. I decided against suhur, for reasons of laziness, so my fast is actually more extreme, having one meal, as opposed to two meals, per day. Broke the fast with some dates, a lot more water, and the last part of my chicken curry.

Wednesday, 8th May

Getting into the swing of things now, the hunger isn’t so obvious throughout the day, but much less energy. I’m in a very good mood, though. I’ve decided to make a fattoush salad, with the help of my Syrian friend Majd, who’s Christian and thinks I’m crazy for fasting. He also helped make lentil soup, another staple dish, with Bron, my roommate. So, this was a proper iftar: dates, soup, salad, and bread.

Thursday, 9th

Talked with the Biology teacher, who’s also fasting. He tells me that people ought to re-orient their mind towards other people during Ramadan, and that it’s not about feasting once the sun goes down. Look out, not in, essentially. More advice received: do not eat an even number of dates. Mohammad used to eat three. Broke the fast with (three) dates, and water. I made my own fattoush, which worked out very well. We also had leftover soup from yesterday, and I bought chicken tawouq, which I ate with bread.

Friday, 10th May

Today is International Day at school. The worst event for people fasting. There was food from every country on the planet. I had to borrow a tupperware container to bring the food home. Worse, today is Friday. The weekend is here. I have to go on a trip to Batroun for a bachelorette party with my friends leaving Beirut at about 5pm. Drink will certainly be taken. I can’t avoid it. Anyway, I’m not doing the fast for religious reasons, so once the sun goes down, I can eat, drink, and be merry. The hangover will be tough without a lot of water to compensate, though. We arrived in Batroun at 19:30 so I hopped out of the van, chugged some water, had a few dates, then started into the champagne. I managed to squeeze in a chicken burger in between the drinks.

Saturday, 11th May

The hangover wasn’t so bad, actually. In spite of this, I broke the fast for the first time — to drink a small bottle of water. As sins go, not so heinous. I was just so thirsty day after the night before. Religiously, you can break the fast if you’re pregnant, or menstruating, or sick. Maybe a hangover is a type of sickness? Anyway, spent the day on the beach, mostly under cover, and rested. Broke the fast back in Beirut with dates, some tuna fish, and pasta.

Sunday, 12th May

Apparently there’s an exemption on fasting if you’re traveling. I could’ve done with this on the road to Batroun! It also excuses my breach the day of my return to Beirut, I reckon. Broke the fast with dates, water, tawouq, bread, and pasta.

Monday, 13th May

People are always giving you advice when they hear that you’re fasting. Some of it contradictory. Bron was told not to drink so much water before eating at iftar. We decided to try it. Broke the fast with dates, no water, and chicken curry. Then copious amounts of water after. No obvious difference.

Tuesday, 14th May

Bron makes a strong point. Those who alter their body clocks by sleeping during the day and eating all night are cheating in a way. They’re just moving their day around, and sleeping through the hunger. It’s not a proper fast if you can’t feel the hunger. Broke the fast with chicken curry, round two, and lots of water.

Wednesday, 15th May

I feel hungrier today, not sure why. More advice with recommendations for iftar. The mindfulness coach thinks I ought to break the fast with some warm water, not cold, perhaps herbal tea, as this prepares the stomach better for eating, to be followed by three dates. He’s also of the opinion that people should be humble during Ramadan, no talking about their fast, no feasts at iftar, certainly no Instagram pictures. Broke the fast with a chicken burger from Smoked Bun, post-dates. Ridiculously nice.

Thursday, 16th May

I have a day off school today, for the funeral of Patriarch Sfeir, a Lebanese Maronite Cardinal. It was more difficult being home, actually. At work, even though I’m much more active and using more energy, at least I’m kept busy. Today, I caught myself watching cooking videos on YouTube. Broke the fast with (three) dates, and beef fajitas, but made with Lebanese bread.

Friday, 17th May

Broke the fast with a gorgeous mujaddara, a spicy mix of lentils, rice, and onions, made by a chef friend of Bron’s. Eaten with some of his delicious homemade bread, and some 961 Red Ale. Today is my good friend Enzo’s last night in Lebanon so drink will have to be taken again. What choice do I have?

Saturday, 18th May

Asma, Maryam’s friend from the UK whose working with a medical NGO in the Beqaa Valley, came for iftar. She’s a practising Muslim, so we had to lend her a Qur’an and find the Qibla, the direction of prayer. It was nice to get some more insight into the traditions. Apparently we can eat as soon as the call to prayer begins. We ate three dates, some ripe peach, and drank water, followed by mint tea. Dinner included pasta, fattoush, and more mujaddara. We also had ayran, a traditional kind of sour yoghurt drink. After dinner, we drank some Turkish coffee, then some Indian desi chai, made with ginger and milk. Finally, we had some traditional sweets, heloweyat. A proper iftar!

Sunday, 19th May

No hunger pangs at all today. I think my body has fully acclimatised to fasting. A small group of us went to see some childrens’ theatre in Tripoli, directed by a friend of ours and starring some kids from a Syrian refugee camp. It was really entertaining. The boys put on a production about a couple of swindlers selling dodgy seeds. The girls had a modern take on Cinderella. I could understand most of it, so I’m happy. We rushed back to Beirut for iftar. I decided to order a Ramadan Combo from Malik al-Tawouq: lentil soup, salad, and chicken tawouq platter, and a date cookie called ma’moul. Plus, a Miranda tamarind soft drink. The guy who delivered it was fasting and so forgot to take any money! We also ate some traditional Ramadan cheese sweets, heloweyat al-jibn, made with clotted cream called ashta, which we bought in Tripoli. They were spectacular. There’s a beautiful full moon tonight, which means: we’re half way through Ramadan! Ramadan Kareem!

Monday, 20th May

I genuinely don’t feel hungry during the day any more. Intellectually, I know I need to eat, but there are no hunger pangs. It’s not an obvious hunger. My sense of smell is more active, that’s about it. I decided to make chicken biryani today, which worked out really well. No big communal iftar today, as the final episode of Game of Thrones is available. Some things are more important.

Tuesday, 21st May

Bron invited two work friends over, a Syrian Muslim and a Jordanian Christian, and we also invited Dennis from downstairs. Bron made another batch of lentil soup, which was nicer even than the last one. She made fattoush as well. I contributed the remaining biryani. We had a huge variety of ice-creams with cones for dessert.

Wednesday, 22nd May

I didn’t eat so much today. I think my stomach is getting smaller. Broke the fast with three dates, some of the leftover lentil soup, a Mexican bean and tuna fish mix, and some fried haloumi. Fried haloumi is my new favourite food. Also, had a little pot of yoghurt.

Thursday, 23rd May

The routine now is to break the fast with three dates, and follow this with warm tea, usually mint tea. This really helps the transition to eating. Today, I had a big plate of pasta, some fried haloumi, and a yoghurt.

Friday, 24th May

It’s 38° today. It’s so hot that the cold tap runs warm. It’s at times like these that you appreciate the true value of something as simple as a glass of water. Tonight we’re hosting iftar on our balcony. Maryam made a Palestinian vegetarian maqluba, meaning upside-down, which is made with layers of fried vegetables, potatoes, and rice, which is then flipped before serving, and topped with fried cashew nuts. It was delicious. I made fattoush for seven people, complete with fried pita bread, and it was my best one yet. I was relieved, as I was serving Arabic food to Arabs. My friend Shadi brought his fiancé all the way from Damascus. We eventually made our way to Mezyan in Hamra, where I was rewarded with a free drink for boldly asking for one. It’s Ramadan, after all, the season of good will.

Saturday, 25th May

Myself and my house mates, Maryam and Bron, went to the Beqaa Valley to meet with Asma, who had invited us to iftar with her boss, Doctor Fares, and his extended family. It was such an amazing evening. Typically Syrian. First, we sat around half-talking, half-watching Arab dramas, like Al-Hayba and Khamsa Wa Nos, while the family cooked. People were coming and going all the time. We then went for a short walk with the good doctor’s kids, who were adorable. His eldest daughter, Lamar, had very good English. Then we moved to the garden where we played cards, a version of Trumps. I managed to cheat a bit with help of the kids. Finally, as the sun went down, we ate in a big group in the garden, sitting on cushions around a selection of dishes. There was soup and salad, alongside three different meat dishes: chicken, lamb, and fish. The flavours were superb. The family were a lively bunch. At one point, Doctor Fares insisted on feeding us from his hand. I also discovered that they knew one of my colleagues in Eastwood. Lebanon is a very small place! We sang happy birthday to one his kids and topped it all off with cake. It was the best iftar experience so far.

Sunday, 26th May

Went to Souq al-Ahad, the Sunday market, with Bron. Such a crazy place. We bought some spices, some olives and maqdus (baby aubergine stuffed with chilies, and then pickled) from Aleppo, and salvaged an old backgammon board. It’s a great place to wander for a couple of hours. At one stage I was offered a taste of something, and when I said I was fasting he immediately said (in Arabic): “Me too, I’m Muslim. Are you Muslim? Are you Sunni or Shi’a?” I had to disappoint him by saying neither. It was at this point that he said, with utmost confidence: “It’s only a matter of time.” We broke the fast with a vegetable curry, alongside some maqdus and some Lebanese bread.

Monday, 27th May

I was a small bit busy with work tonight so I had three dates followed by a simple pasta with pesto rosso, onions, and tomato. Naturally, had some mint tea and gallons of water.

Tuesday, 28th May

Today, I had the least amount of food yet. I just had a simple pasta with spicy tomato sauce and cheddar cheese. I couldn’t even finish it. I think my stomach has shrunk over the course of Ramadan. I’m definitely losing weight.

Wednesday, 29th May

Today was a tough day. I was in a bad mood for some reason. I think it’s to do with not having enough energy. Usually, during the whole of Ramadan, my mood has been positive. I think I need to eat enough to maintain my energy levels. Tonight I made chicken vindaloo with egg noodles.

Thursday, 30th May

I had more energy today, back to my normal self. I broke the fast with the remainder of my chicken vindaloo. Also, the requisite number of dates and some mint tea.

Friday, 31st May

Another Friday is upon us. The last, in fact, of Ramadan. Tonight is a big night for Muslims around the world. No-one is quite sure exactly when Laylat al-Qadr is supposed to fall, but most believe it’s the 27th day of Ramadan, which is tonight. It’s also a Friday, so it’s a big deal. We had our last group iftar in the apartment. This time we had three Syrians with us, so we had plenty of help with the food. We had a rice and aubergine dish, a water melon and feta salad, a tabbouleh salad, and some fried haloumi. Later, I nipped downstairs to say goodbye to some friends, before moving to Strada 51, a local bar, and winding up in a swimming pool in a club at 4am. Your typical Laylat al-Qadr.

Saturday, 1st June

I had Arabic class with my friend Majd, from about 2pm. He spent half the day preparing a chicken and rice dish to break the fast with at 7.45. Bless him. I broke the fast with this and some delicious Ethiopian soup made by our friend Jodie, called shiro. It was spicy, and the perfect match for the chicken. I followed this with a few drinks with an Irish guy visiting Lebanon for a week.

Sunday, 2nd June

I broke the fast with three dates, some water, and pasta, alongside some fried haloumi. The end is nigh.

Monday, 3rd June

I had to work today, but I’ve been given the rest of the week off work to celebrate Eid al-Fitr, the Festival of Fast Breaking. Today might well be the last night of Ramadan, but we’ll have to wait for the religious authorities to check on the phase of the moon. It will end either tonight or tomorrow.

If Eid begins tomorrow, Muslims will gather for special prayers called Salat al-Eid, which is usually followed by a small breakfast, the first daytime meal in a month. Eid is usually celebrated by visiting relatives, where gifts are exchanged, and zakat is given to the poor. The kids will get a tidy sum of money. Unsurprisingly, food is very important. After a whole month of fasting, all sorts of delicacies will be eaten.

It’s official. Eid begins tonight. The fast is over. I broke the fast by going to Tariq al-Jadida, a busy part of the southern suburbs, with Bron. We then went to Dahieh, where we had some saj with jibneh and zataar, before walking through the market in Sabra and Shatilla. We ended up back in Tariq al-Jadida looking for heloweyat. We weren’t very successful, but we were given free street food: foul with lemon, and seasoned corn. Tomorrow, I’ll go for breakfast in the morning, and then hit the beach.

Epilogue

This month has been really amazing. I’ve learned so much about the traditions of Islam, I’ve met so many different people, I’ve tasted lots of new foods, and I’ve had some great experiences.

It was trying at times, but the effort was definitely worth it. Ramadan really focuses the mind, and makes you very thankful for what you have. It’s also helped me to think more about portion size and also about my own health. Lastly, it’s helped me bond with others who are fasting, and brought me closer to my Muslim friends and students. I can now say with pride that I made it through the full month of Ramadan.

#ramadan #lebanon #diary #reporter

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the-coconut-asado · 5 years

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Oh Stumptown my Stumptown!

Portland likes to keep it weird. Officially. You could even buy the tee shirt if tee shirts weren’t so predictable.

From a poster invitation to “Hear my TED Talk about DIY and Impending Doom” to the Big Legrowlski (sic) night club that hangs carpets on the walls - not to balance the sound for the band but because they really bring the room together - the City has an off-beat vibe that feels authentic even while it gets you scratching your head. And where else would you queue round the block for a voodoo-doll shaped doughnut with a pretzel stick through its ‘heart’?

You probably won’t be surprised when I tell you that Portland is the Hipster Capital of the World. You know it’s hipster because it sells more coffee and has more microbreweries per head than anywhere else in the US.

We came for the food because People That Know told us to. It’s not simply that everything is delicious but that chefs, cooks, carts and food enthusiasts are trying to do different. It’s like Masterchef has landed in Twin Peaks. Entrepreneurs are making ice cream out of chickpeas and it works. A pastry chef has re-interpreted her favourite childhood book on a plate and you rejoice in the complex flavours of her tiny reconstructed bunny. So who’s the bunny boiler now?

One thing that puzzled me is why the City changed its name from the original Stumptown (pretty weird) to Portland (the Holiday Inn of city names). Devon, a local lawyer who we chatted to most mornings in Baristas Cafe, explained that Portland was never officially called Stumptown. It became its nickname due to all the trees they had to cut down to build it, leaving the eponymous stumps in their wake. Stumptown is also the name of their iconic coffee brand, which I always assumed was NYC’s greatest invention. This is one of the many ways in which travel expands your mind.

Devon embodied something else about Portland: its friendliness. Even the passport officers are anxious that you have a good time. Full disclosure, it wasn’t just Devon that we sought out each morning - it was Pepper, his cute little dog. I would eat Barista’s fresh, flaky rhubarb hand pie just to drop crumbs that Pepper would breakfast on.

Devon put us onto a couple of great places to eat - one we made it to, one we didn’t. But more of that later.

Where to begin to describe this steel guitar food odyssey? Let me take you through our many highlights from the mountain of food we consumed. Set it to the soundtrack of Chris Isaak’s Wicked Thing.

Our first evening, tired and hungry, we stuck to our guns and found Andina, the City’s Peruvian eatery. When you are both tired and hungry it’s easy to get seduced by posters boasting ‘Meatball Monday’ and forget your mission, but our persistence paid off. That legendary Portlandia hospitality squeezed us into a nook where there really wasn’t a free table, and we dined greedily on humitas, ceviche, lamb shank and seafood, washed down with Oregon’s finest home-grown Pinot Gris. I didn’t quibble that they brought something different from my order. In my fractured Spanish ‘Arroz con Pato’ probably did sound like ‘Seafood Risotto’ - and the risotto was obviously going to be delicious before fork met lip, so I didn’t send it back.

Next day, which coincidentally was Taco Tuesday, we hit the street food.

Portland is big on street food (see: hipster capital of the world). Most food vendors have carts - permanent fixtures where the chef builds enough of a following over months or years to be able to open a small restaurant. Nong’s Khao Man Gai was just one of these. They do one dish - a Vietnamese poached chicken with a secret chilli sauce, accompanied by rice cooked in the chicken broth. You can also have a version with shrimp, pork or Tofu. We bought a bottle of the sauce to bring home. Life’s too short.

It’s not all carts - there are a fair few trucks too.

One which specialised in cheese toasties challenged “ Come and relive the taste of your childhood. But if your childhood sucked, we’ll share the memory of ours”. Have you eaten a cheese toastie recently? I mean really felt the embrace of a sandwich of molten cheese and fried bread? Maybe your childhood did suck after all.

That evening it was the turn of The Hairy Lobster restaurant, and that bunny dessert I mentioned earlier. Little Bunny Foo Foo to give it it’s full name. A delicate carrot cake, covered in cheesecake mousse, accompanied by a ginger crumb, caramel sauce and a marshmallow rabbit.

Despite it’s show-stopping appearance and fusion of flavours, it was their roast squash with curry sauce and pumpkin seed praline that was the stand-out dish for me. The Lobster picnic for our main was pretty damn good too.

Friday brings me to Devon’s first recommendation, Pok Pok, a teeny Thai eatery in the suburbs. Getting there had the added advantage of passing through a neighbourhood full of rambling old houses in the Amityville Horror style. I recalled the first time I had heard of Portland was from a TV thriller full of witches and jabberwocks called Grimm. They had definitely filmed it’s eerily beautiful moments around here.

If I had to single out a food highlight in a week of next-to-no food lows, I would choose Pok Pok. It gave me my first food coma in a long while. Something about it’s smoked aubergine, pork belly curry, marinated chicken with two dips, sublime mango with sticky rice and that rhubarb blush cocktail… I sense I am sharing my food coma with you now. Their signature dish is hot spicy chicken wings. The couple on the table next to us were too full to finish theirs so offered them to us. Maybe it was the wings that tipped me over the edge. I’ll never know.

And so to our last day, and the big daddy of Portland nights out: Jake’s Crawfish. Over 100 years old, walking into Jake’s is like walking into one of Sinatra’s memories. It has a justifiably stellar reputation, and seems to have maintained it for a century. I ate Steel-head trout for the first time, fished on their doorstep from Oregon’s Columbia River, coated with a horseradish crust, and preceded by half a dozen of the plumpest oysters I have ever eaten.

I haven’t yet mentioned Portland’s biggest hipster foodie habit: brunch. No matter what day of the week, the restaurants that brunch are always full. For most of our trip, we were waking up too early to really do brunch justice. Those rhubarb hand pies at Baristas had satisfied our hunger by around 8AM so a mid-morning banquet wasn’t really on. One day, however, we made it to Tasty & Alder in the Pearl DIstrict of the city and managed to sneak in a table for two before the queues built up. Worth it for their Green Frittata with salsa verde (who ever thought of doing that before?) and lightest, fluffiest American biscuits. We never made it to Devon’s second recommendation: Burmasphere, his friend’s Burmese cart on the other side of the river. And now we have an excuse to return.

When it came to rustling up some recipes that take me straight back to Portland weird, I whittled my list down to three: my version of Tasty & Alders’ green frittata with feta and salsa verde; a less labour-intensive version of Andina’s Arroz con Pato, made with chicken or guinea fowl; and in the spirit of weird, though by no means original, a cake inspired by Churros con Chocolate. The best possible end to a Taco Tuesday.

I messaged a friend of mine that had moved to Portland a few years back and asked why she had ever left. “ Too much rain and not enough art.” she said.

You missed the point Sweetie. Great Food IS great art. And if you can’t stand the rain, get into the kitchen.

Green Frittata with Feta and Salsa Verde

A great little brunchy-lunch dish packed with flavour for the carb-conscious. If you want to add some carbs, slices of toasted sourdough will go down a treat. Serves 4

Ingredients

8 large free-range eggs

1tblspn, double cream

100g asparagus spears, chopped into 2 cm chunks

100g shelled garden peas or petit pois

50g feta cheese

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the salsa verde:

Small pack of flat-leaf parsley (around 15-20g)

½ a small pack of mint leaves

3 tbsp. Capers

7 anchovy fillets

1 clove garlic

1 tbsp dijon mustard

8 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

How to make:

Bring a small saucepan of salted water to the boil, then add the peas. After a couple of minutes, add the chopped asparagus and continue simmering for another 2 minutes. Drain and refresh under cold water. Put to one side.

Next, make the salsa verde. Put all the ingredients except the olive oil into a blender, season generously with pepper and go easier on the salt (anchovies and capers are already pretty salty). Then, add the olive oil and blend again. Don’t over blend at each step - it's nice to keep the texture a little rough.

Put a skillet on the stove and melt a knob of butter. Beat the eggs, add the cream and season. Lightly saute the green vegetables in the butter for a minute or two.

then pour the eggs over and crumble the feta cheese over the top. Cook for a couple of minutes until the bottom is starting to brown.

pop under the grill to continue cooking, until the top is a light golden colour and the frittata has firmed up with a slight wobble (keep a close eye on this, probably takes 2-3 minutes).

Cut the frittata into 4 wedges and serve with a dollop of salsa verde on top.

Arroz con Gallina Picante

I never did get to eat Arroz con Pato in Andina, but while I adore the rich flavour of duck, devoting two or three days to confitting it before finishing the dish is only for the dedicated dinner party cook. This version with a spicy chicken and a feta-enriched herb sauce (based on a Melissa Clark recipe) goes down just as well - or the richer Guinea Fowl, which I have used here. And Peruvian aji amarillo is now more available by mail order - substitute ordinary chile powder if not. Serves 4.

Ingredients:

1 medium-sized chicken or guinea fowl, jointed into 2 breasts, 2 drumsticks and 2 thighs (discard the back or freeze to make stock at a later date)

For the marinade:

6 garlic cloves, crushed

3 tbsp light soy sauce

1 tbsp paste made with aji amarillo powder and olive oil

Juice of 1 lime

1 tsp sriracha sauce

1 tsp. Dijon mustard

2 tsp ground cumin

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

For the sauce:

½ a large bunch coriander leaves, broken up

2 jalapeno chilies, chopped

75g feta cheese, crumbled

1 garlic clove, crushed

Juice of 1-2 limes

2 tsp chopped fresh oregano

½ tsp dijon mustard

½ tbsp aji amarillo paste (see marinade earlier for method)

1 tsp honey

1 tsp ground cumin

½ cup extra virgin olive oil.

For the Peruvian Rice:

3 tbsp sunflower oil

2 cloves garlic, crushed

1 onion, finely chopped

3 heaped tsp aji amarillo paste (see marinade earlier for method)

½ large bunch fresh coriander, broken up and blended till smooth with a tblspn water

500g fresh chicken stock

300g bottle of beer or lager

2 x small green chillies, chopped finely

500g basmati rice

1 red pepper, chopped into small chunks

100g fresh garden peas or petit pois

How to make

First, make the marinade. Mix all the marinade ingredients in a large bowl, cover the fowl of your choice in it, cover with cling film and pop in the fridge for at least 4 hours or overnight.

For the sauce: put all the ingredients into a blender, and blend till smooth. Pour into a bowl, cover and refrigerate, taking out about 15 minutes ahead of eating to bring to room temperature.

For the rice. Heat 2 tbsp oil in a saucepan, add the onion and garlic and saute until starting to turn golden. Add the blended coriander and chili paste and cook for a couple of minutes until the paste has thickened slightly and smells delicious.

Pour the beer into the saucepan, cook for a few minutes then add the chicken stock. Bring to the boil, season, then take off the heat, cover and put to one side.

Heat the oven to 200C. Pat the chicken or guinea fowl pieces dry, then pop onto a shallow baking tray, season and drizzle with olive oil. Put the tray into the oven and roast for 35-40 minutes.

While the meat roasts, finish the rice. Heat 2 tbsp oil in a medium sized saucepan, add the peppers and cook for a couple of minutes. Then add the rice and stir into the oil and peppers until it starts to crackle a little at the bottom. Add the peas and chilies and stir again, then add the stock, beer and onion garlic mix. Stir, season if needed, then cover and simmer on a low heat for 25 mins.

Fluff up the rice and spoon onto plates. Top with the chicken or guinea fowl pieces, and crown with a dollop of sauce.

Churros Bundt Cake with Dipping Chocolate Sauce

I love churros, and I love a Bundt cake. If you want all the flavours but none of the faffing or frying, then give this a try. The cake will keep, covered in a tin. Just remember to reheat the chocolate sauce for dipping or pouring each time. Serves 8-10

Ingredients:

For the cake:

2 ¾ cups plain flour

2 tsp. Baking powder

2 tsp ground cinnamon

½ tsp. Salt

170g unsalted butter

130g caster sugar

50g soft brown sugar

4 large eggs

1 egg yolk

1 375g punnet of sour cream

2 tsp. Vanilla extract

For the cinnamon sugar ‘glaze’

2 tsp ground cinnamon

4 tsp caster sugar

For the chocolate sauce:

½ cup cocoa powder

Pinch chilli flakes

100g dark chocolate (70%)

1 cup double cream

½ cup dark brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

½ tsp cinnamon

How to make

Preheat the oven to 160C. Grease and flour a large bundt cake pan (make sure to get into all the nooks and crannies).

Beat the butter and sugar in a mixing bowl (ideally using an electric stand mixer) until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one by one and continue to mix between each addition, finishing with the egg yolk. Add the sour cream and vanilla extract and beat again until just incorporated. Mix all the dry ingredients, add them to the butter and egg mix and fold in until smooth.

Pour the cake batter into the bundt tin and bake for around 50-55 minutes until a skewer inserted near the middle comes out clean (I usually check the cake after 45 mins). Invert the cake onto a rack to cool.

Mix the remaining sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl. Melt the butter and paint all over the surface of the cake. Dust the cinnamon sugar over the buttered cake, making sure you pat it in places to stick.

To make the chocolate sauce. Pop all the ingredients into a saucepan, then cook, stirring constantly, on a low heat until the chocolate has melted, everything is smooth and custardy. Let it bubble slightly then turn off the heat.

Serve slices of the churros cake with warm chocolate sauce poured over. There are some who prefer their chocolate sauce served cold. That’s fine too.

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sohaveyoubeento-blog · 5 years

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V is for Vietnamese & Vintage

Us three ladies had always played it pretty safe by way of our lunch dates. Not to say the local deli isn't absolutely kick ass - it's very tasty and very enjoyable every time we go, but in much the same way as I struggle to go to the same country more than once on my holidays (excluding India, you can never have enough India) I couldn't help but think that life's a bit too short to sit in the same eatery every time we meet for lunch, given that the whole day is ours, and within reason, travel is no issue.

The three of us decided that we would try different cuisines every week, and with the girls (Laura and Dani) living in the quieter, leafier suburbs of Otley and Burley in Wharfedale, with me (Alex) living in what I frequently describe as the bronx, 5 minutes from central Leeds but gloriously populated by some of the best food joints in the country (confirmed) they usually end up meeting at mine and then we go into town to try somewhere a bit off the beaten track. Invariably, being three mums of young children, we eat at the speed of rabid dogs and end up having a bit of time to go explore some local weird shop or two, never anything mainstream like a department store. Oh no. We like vintage shops. You know the type, they smell like damp and the inside of your nan's wardrobe, and we prance around pretending to overlook the fact that we are just in a well laid out, slightly more selective charity shop without the undertone of giving. Usually there's some blue haired student with a headscarf and a faint stench of Bobby Orange pawing through piles of shirts and jumpers that are deemed as retro, when they've actually some of them originated in C&A - we remember that place the first time round,depressingly. The whole vintage scene is a bit ironic and try hard and a bit sad at times, but the one thing that it does offer is the piece you are often looking at, generally is one of one only in the store. The same goes for charity shops, generally. We like stuff that can't be bought in bulk.

Dani owns Deluxe Blooms, and is a luxury faux florist, and very good at it too. Laura is a nail technician and spray tanning afficionado, and the owner of Maibella Nails and Tanning. I own a salon called Lexa Hair, and the three of us work together frequently. The ridiculous thing is though, that work is going really well for us, and while in the past we may have dug around in charity shops for a bargain simply to be economical, now it has begun more of a habit. And you know what they say, old habits die hard. We don't have to eat streetfood on picnic tables anymore, and we can shop anywhere we want, but at least just for me, I don't like extravagance and I'm not impressed by labels or price tags. I like pieces that are unique,with a story behind them. My two accomplices sort of get dragged in to it I think, but they seem on board with most of it. I hope.

And street food is the best food on earth, everyone knows that.

We kicked things off with a visit to a fairly new (maybe a year old I think) Vietnamese place on North Lane in Headingley named VietBaker. Inside it's very wooden looking, quite industrial and urban, stained wood everywhere and dark red leather chairs. It smells like the rice cooker that's chugging away in the corner, mixed with plenty of garlic and of course, the fresh baguettes that are stacked up in a glass cabinet above the front desk.

We opted for a sharing platter for £9, and from the menu us Yorkshire ruffians requested spring rolls (the deep fried ones, not the fresh, healthy ones obviously), prawn toast, and 'rustic chips'.

This was skin on chips with salt and pepper (well cooked and so tasty) and the prawn toast was understandably made of baguette slices. It made for a much heavier slab of prawn toast and therefore an even more unhealthy treat but man alive, was it good. The spring rolls were pork, prawn and the usual crispy vegetables inside. Not floppy or soggy, totally crispy and served with a really light and watery sweet chilli dip that's more sweet than chilli. It was all very lovely.

I've personally eaten from here a number of times and I think the Vietnamese have got it absolutely nailed when they make sandwich. Or a Ban Mih. Laura and I opted for one each, chicken for her and pork for me. Dani went for something off the new part of the menu, the fusion section, which even featured a take on beef bourgignon, Vietnamese style. She tried the Shanghai pork belly, served with rice. Her whole bowl was piled high, and we're not talking a polite, peanuts size bowl. More like a ‘free ceramic crunchy nut cereal box’ bowl, with the with tokens on the back of the pack, that you’d send off as a kid. It was huge. The second bowl was just plain rice, which worked really well as the pork alone was…. alot. It was sticky and tangy and rich and all those other wanky words that just mean amazing. I'm trying so hard to limit the wankiness. I like writing and eating, combining the two is hard work though. Bear with me. The slow cooked pork made me feel a bit gutted I went for a sandwich until I got stuck in.

Vietnam was a former French colony, and much like their neighbour Cambodia, found their local best offerings being bastardised to accomodate the 'local palate'. The nice version is that the baguette was the French's gift to the Vietnamese, although I imagine it was more a case of 'put your lovely meal in my baguette for me or you're in deep shit.'

I've never been to Vietnam but having visited Cambodge a few summers back, I remember being astounded at the gorgeous, light, dairy free Asian cuisine that had been shoved in a crusty, warm baguette. Whoever's story was true, it's the absolute bollocks.

They cut this freshly baked baguette open and spread it with patè on one side and on the other mayonnaise (already weird but hang in there) - add a ton of crispy green leaves, cucumber, pickles, coriander and fresh chilies, and add some meat into what little room is left. Enough meat to give you meat sweats. It. Is. Superb.

The pork was very finely sliced, dark and sticky again (here she goes) and you can bang on a fried egg, too, if you're an absolute wrong un. No thanks.

Laura had the chicken which was a milder flavour but none the less tasty and flavoursome. I noticed Laura pulling bits off her sandwich and delicately chewing away at them, while I picked it up and ate it like I'd been sleeping in the dark arches for the last month. I even had to be asked to wipe my face. Sorry, not sorry. No messing with a Ban Mih. Especially not this one.

The bill was a very respectable £11 a head, and they threw in a free set of spring rolls for us, which was a nice unexpected surprise. The place had a steady flow of traffic, and although wasn't packed, I've been on an evening and I think it's safe to assume that's the bulk of their trade. It was fantastic food, very reasonable and highly recommended. Great staff and great location. We'll be back!

Afterwards we drove for about 3 days to find a parking spot anywhere near Hyde Park, so we could check out the newly (ish) renovated (OK sign replaced and possibly ownership changed) Vintage something or other in Hyde Park.

I forget the name, and if I'm brutally honest I can see why. It's alright, but it used to be alot better. The last time I went in there was alot of very old apothecary style wooden drawer units, some weird taxidermy, and unusual pictures in frames that would look incredible in the lounge. This time there was quite a bit of formica, and some hideously orange stained TV units that I guess in some context would be deemed as cool again.

The music collection seemed to be where the most effort had been made. The clothing was actually quite 'quirky' in the sense that you wouldn't actually wear alot of it, there was a whole department that seemed to have been handed over by the owner of the late knob head Jimmy Saville, shell suit after shell suit in every colour of the rainbow, in that non breathable fabric you'd get a two man tent in. Hideous. Still, there are some absolute finds in there. I would encourage people to bear in mind that these shops have a high stock turnaround and in their uniqueness, and ability to replace items based on sales, any vintage shop can be a complete bag of shite one week and a total gold mine the next. Its the luck of the drawer, I love that about them. That and the fact that we call them vintage shops. The three of us refer to them as shit shops, but potato patato.

I find it depressing that as I mentioned before, alot of the 'retro' stuff is just normal stuff we, in our 30s, encountered in our youth. There was a 'vintage phone' that was £15 and I'm pretty sure my gran has it now. It's literally a BT £10 phone still in argos, but clearly it had lived with a heavy smoker, adding to the aged facade.

Some of it was very authentic, some of it was broken crap, but the general feel of the place is a good one. There is more 70s stuff than anything else which is quite cool, but like I say, stock changes very frequently. Dani bought an oversized T shirt with a University football team logo emblazoned across it, and to be honest I would have too. There was a vast array of university related large varsity based sweaters, some unnecessarily cut in half width ways (why?!!!! Serves no purpose now, you fools) and that's the kind of thing I would have liked to look at. But as I was in charge of a one year old who was bombing around the floor, doubling as a human sweeping brush and coming back with more dust on him than the inside of the V6 after the attic stairs have been tackled, I gave it up as a bad job and put my bank card back away. No spending for mum today. Gutted.

The shop is pretty fabulous, on the whole. They do know how to charge when it comes to furniture, but the clothing is far more reasonable. It's not all one off pieces, a couple of items make an appearance a few times and that kind of ruins it for me, I start picturing some huge factory in China making hideously outdated clothing and leaving them in a damp garage for a few years, chucking a bit of tea down them and wearing the cuffs and collars down, before exporting the newly knackered pieces to us dumbasses in our 'quirky vintage shops'. Who knows. It's well laid out, and pretty cool, and although not my favourite, I imagine the next time I go it'll be a whole different experience. Swings and roundabouts with these places. It was an interesting look, and if Parker hadn't been doing his best ferret impression I would have definitely bought a jumper. Well worth a look.

Until next week!

Laura, Dani and Alex X

VietBaker, Headingley

https://www.thevietbaker.co.uk

Vintage Boutique, Hyde Park

https://vintageboutique.com

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nastymeowmeow · 2 years

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Let’s Talk About Eating Disorders!

I was dropping Ruby off for daycare this morning and let them know that Ruby is a little moody and tired today. I think she is going through a growth spurt because she’s been sleeping a lot and she hasn’t been hungry and she’s been extra sensitive and whiney. On my way out to my car, the grandma from the daycare rushes out and yells “HEY!” I turn around because I thought something was wrong or I forgot something important and she says “you’ve lost a lot of weight, you look great!” I reply with “really? Thank you!” Then I go to work.

The other day when my friend came to visit me, they also commented that even though I warned them that I’ve gained weight since we last met, that I look amazing and that they expected “Jabba The Hutt” which I almost found offense to. If they didn’t follow up with compliments I probably would have been butt hurt.

I’ve been lying to my friends about my weight loss because they’ll all give me a mile-long speech about healthy levels of weight loss and dieting and shit. I tell them I’ve lost 5lbs but I’ve actually lost 10lbs since my breakup. It’s been exactly two weeks today. That’s 1.4lbs PER DAY. Healthy weight loss should be no more than 2lbs PER WEEK... and that’s still pushing it.

That being said... starting in November of last year (about 6 months ago) my exboyfriend in a polite way told me I was unhealthy and overweight and that we needed to diet together. He didn’t actually diet with me. He just wanted me to lose weight so he could reap in the benefits. He had me start a diet where we only ate meat and vegetables once a day in a two hour window, and we fasted the rest of the day. That’s a 22 hour fast every day. Then on the weekends we got to eat carbs and whatever we wanted.

After I broke up with him in January I developed an eating disorder where I would binge eat randomly, then I would feel so bad about how much I ate and I would starve myself for a few days. When I say binge eat, I mean one night I sat down and I ate three full meals that I had meal prepped for the week, then I’d eat like a whole bag of chips, and maybe a few cookies, and some candy, and a bagel with cream cheese, and some pickles, and a cup of corn pudding, and maybe a few other random snacks I could find in my house. All within a couple of hours. I would eat well over 2000 calories in one sitting. Then I would starve myself for a few days out of guilt. Then I would get extra hungry again and I’d repeat this cycle.

When me and my girlfriend broke up, I started new medication and went through a depression and I stopped eating so much. I still have about two meals a day, but not at the volume that I would have eaten when I was binge eating. I’m still in “recovery” from the binge eating and starving, but I started using nicotine to suppress my appetite and work as a laxative, and my meds to suppress my appetite for as long as I can before I get hungry enough to eat a small meal once or twice a day, but I still starve myself while I’m at work. I allow myself to eat between 4pm and 8pm, but I’m basically still doing the horrible diet that my exboyfriend tried to force on me. I’m just fasting for 20 hours instead of 22 hours and eating about 600 calories a day.

Lately I’ve just been eating a bowl of rice with whatever I have in the house like tofu or veggies or chicken or leftovers. Now people are starting to see a dramatic physical difference in me and I don’t really care that it’s dangerous how quickly I’m dropping weight. I haven’t seen any negative side effects besides feeling a little light headed when I vape, but I like that feeling? I know it’s unhealthy to lose weight like this, but let’s just call it masochism and self-punishment? It’s still an eating disorder... but if I get a hot body from it? I don’t care. 10lbs in two weeks is fine by me. I hope I lose more, to be honest.

#journal #journaling #blog #blogging #mental #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #therapy #eating #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorders #bipolar #bipolardisorder

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kriskebob-blog · 6 years

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Day 6: Lots of prep, and maybe turning a corner?

EHi friends. I’ve fallen a little behind, whoops. So I left off with Sunday night. If you recall, on Saturday I felt kind of sleepy and beat after hitting the gym but my energy improved as the day went on. Sunday I honestly felt pretty good all day even with the hike and the heat from being out by the pool.

Monday, though, I woke up and I just felt so clear-headed. I felt focused and just ready to take on the day. The way you wish you felt every day when you wake, you know? And I was going to need the energy, because it was once again going to be a grocery shopping day. Not only that, I had to thoughtfully meal plan for the first time since I’d started this project, e.g. refer to Dr. G’s two-week meal plan and make sure that his suggested meals for each day would more or less work with our schedule.

It didn’t take nearly as much time as the first time I’d done it, and what’s more, I had a few produce items I wouldn’t need to purchase because I still had enough left over from the week before. I checked out of Big Y with my smallest bill yet. I went to the farmstand and had a <$5 charge for the first time in weeks - all I picked up were an onion, a couple huge carrots, and a new pint of berries. However, I did have an exotic ingredient that was going to warrant another trip to the Asian grocer and/or Whole Foods: I needed dried dulse, aka seaweed flakes that would be added to a miso soup recipe.

I got home and ate some gumbo for lunch. There was still enough left for more leftovers the next day; that recipe seriously had made a lot. Then it was off to the races to find my dried dulse. This week, I decided to go to the Asian market first, because I figured if they did have the dulse it’d be a lot more reasonably priced there than at Whole Foods. There were quite a few varieties of dried seaweed there, but no dulse flakes. However, I did spot an 8oz bag of dried shiitake mushrooms for only $10.99.

...

Do you want to know how much I paid at Big Y for a mere friggin’ HALF OUNCE of dried shiitake mushrooms?? Do you???

I paid $5.99 for half an once at Big Y for a product I could buy at the Asian food market for less than twice that price and SIXTEEN TIMES the amount. Let my failures be your lesson, friends: go to your local ethnic grocery stores to stock up on pantry items like dried mushrooms, spices, rice, etc! It is SO MUCH CHEAPER than what the same item will cost at a corporate grocery store, and you’re supporting a small local business at the same time. Like literally you can buy tubs of spices like turmeric, cumin, cayenne pepper, etc. etc. for a fraction of the cost you’d pay for a comparable amount at a place like Stop & Shop for Big Y. It’s totally worth the extra errand for any staple ingredient you use often.

Anywho, I hadn’t found dried dulse but I still emerged feeling triumphant thanks to my renewed supply of dried mushrooms. I use those suckers all the time to make the veggie stock. I headed over to Whole Food’s. It was every bit as crowded as last time. I’m starting to realize that Whole Food’s is probably just literally always super busy, because there’s relatively few stores in our area that offer the amount of specialty cooking products that they do. And, clearly, there’s a rising demand for that kind of thing! Consumers want to cook in more healthful and interesting ways. And I can’t even be upset that I’m continuing to perpetuate Jeff Bezos’ evil empire when my Amazon Prime membership means I can buy two cartons of organic raspberries for $5. I want a Whole Foods on the other side of the CT river ASAP, honestly. Or maybe Sam and I will move in that direction soon enough. We’ve been considering it!

Ahem, sorry. A lot of deviations today. Somewhere out there every English teacher I’ve ever had is bowing their heads, ashamed of me. So at Whole Foods, I found dried dulse no problem. I also found a product that had eluded me at Big Y and the Asian market - 100% buckwheat soba noodles. All the other brands I’d found until then had been a combination of wheat and buckwheat - but Dr. G had stipulated 100% buckwheat and, as you know, I’m trying to avoid half measures!

I checked out and headed home. The whole time, I couldn’t stop thinking about how different this day felt compared to last Wednesday, in spite of how I was running basically all the same errands under similar conditions. Except one condition wasn’t similar at all - the food I’d eaten so far that day. If you remember, when I got home last Wednesday (the last day I’d allowed myself eggs, meat, cheese, sugary snacks, etc.) I was literally so exhausted from my multiple grocery trips that I collapsed onto the couch for a two hour semi-vegetative state in front of the TV. But on this day, I felt calm and clear-eyed the entire time I was running my errands. Sure, it helped that I had a better idea now of where some things were - but not everything. I still had to hunt down unfamiliar ingredients, and while certainly nothing had challenged me so much as the miso, I had still been on the go from pretty much the minute Sam had left early that morning. I’d stopped quickly for lunch but this was typically when I felt an afternoon slump in my energy levels and focus. But I didn’t feel that slump as I headed back into my apartment. Instead, I felt ready and even excited to do some cooking.

I looked at that night’s recipes. Because I’d be making miso soup, I was going to need veggie broth again - a lot of it. More than I had left over from yesterday’s batch (I’d used a lot of that to make the rice). So for the second time in two days, I was going to need to throw together some veggie stock. I got that going and then took inventory of the recipes coming up. In addition to the miso soup, I was going to be making soba noodles with chopped veggies and an almond butter sauce. One ingredient for the almond butter sauce was “umani sauce,” which of course was a sauce to make in itself. It wasn’t too hard to throw together - more veggie broth (I was literally going through the stuff like water), minced garlic and ginger, a bit of molasses (Dr. G specified “blackstrap molasses” - never heard of it - I just used normal molasses), date sugar, tomato paste, pepper, miso, lemon, and rice vinegar. It made plenty more than I would need for that night’s recipe, but I tasted it and am looking forward to using it in more recipes in the weeks ahead - it’s really tasty.

Behold, umani sauce.

I figured so long as I was at it getting all this stuff prepped, I would finally make the date syrup I’d been substituting with agave or maple syrup in several recipes so far. This was super easy - I just needed to boil a cup of water and put the dates in to soften for an hour. It got blended at the end with a bit of lemon. Again, not actually hard at all to put together - you just need to have the foresight to do it before you actually need it.

Ta-da: date syrup. You can see my (terrible) stove in the background with the veggie stock simmering away.

At this point, I was on a roll. I was still feeling good and buoyed by how much energy I had that day compared to the previous week. So, in spite of how no upcoming recipes called for the “healthy hot sauce” I had wound up not making for the burritos, I still had a couple of bags of habaneros and other red chiles in my fridge. The recipe called for 12 ounces of fresh hot chiles, which is quite a lot of chiles. They were taking up a lot of room in my produce drawer and I wanted them gone, but I wasn’t willing to throw them away... especially not when Dr. G stated that the healthy hot sauce could keep in the fridge for up to six months. I was already on a food prep kick that day - might as well make it.

Dr. G. advised wearing rubber gloves for prepping the chiles. Great idea in theory, but the only rubber gloves in my apartment are used for cleaning the bathroom, and I wasn’t about to use those on food. So, one by one, with my delicate bare hands, I painstakingly seeded and chopped dozens of habanero peppers and a handful of red hot chiles. This kind of sucked at first (the anxiety that I might accidentally touch my face/eyes is real), but eventually I relaxed and got into the flow of it, and it was satisfying to see the initially giant mound of unchopped peppers gradually go down. They went into a medium-sized saucepan with some water, a chopped onion, and garlic. It simmered for about 20 minutes and then Dr. G said I should let it cool down to room temperature before blending it. Why exactly? Not sure, but I do what the man says (or try). He said to add between 1/2 cup and 1 cup of apple cider vinegar, basically to taste. I started with 1/2 cup and tasted it. And... yup... very hot. It would have to be used very sparingly, but it wasn’t so hot that it was totally inedible, at least by my standards. I wasn’t sure whether or not to add more vinegar. Would that make it hotter? Less hot? More acidic, obviously, but peppers are so acidic already... I wasn’t sure what the true purpose was in terms of taste but felt like more vinegar would dilute the habanero flavor a bit. Maybe? I tried it out and added more vinegar before tasting again. I think it had the effect I wanted in taking back the habanero flavor a little. Who knows. Looking forward to trying it out in the future, even if we wouldn’t be needing it for that night’s meal. Here’s what it looked like:

It was around 4pm by then and a little too early to start dinner. I wandered off to relax for a little while and around 5 I got back at it to prep the miso soup and soba noodles dish.

I made the almond butter sauce first. Like most things in this cookbook, it was easy so long as you had the ingredients on hand - things like the umani sauce, blended lime, etc. Some garlic, ginger, miso, and red pepper flakes and that was it. I thawed some frozen edamame and chopped some carrot, red bell pepper, and scallion. I actually stopped and read for a little while, because Sam was at the gym and the miso soup looked so quick and easy that I didn’t want it to be ready too soon. Eventually I heated up 5 cups of the veggie broth and added some more edamame to that. Next came a couple handfuls of sliced shiitake mushrooms and scallions. In a separate bowl, I mixed a small amount of hot broth with 1/4 cup of miso - by far the largest amount of miso I’d used at one time yet, but then, it is literally called miso soup. Dad, here’s another shout-out for you - you probably haven’t had miso soup but I think you’d like it! It has a nice salty, mushroomy flavor. This one though was definitely heartier and thicker than the kind you’d be served at an Asian restaurant, mostly thanks to the pureed veg in the broth. When you’re out to eat, miso is mostly a thin broth with a few tiny scallions and mushrooms mixed in here and there, but this was a hearty soup with tons of mushrooms. And then, as is the Dr. G way, you had to add a bunch of greens too - 4 cups of chopped spinach, to be exact. And of course, our friend the dried dulse was added in at the end to get that extra seaweed flavor and nutrition.

Once I knew Sam would be ready to eat soon, I tossed the soba noodles in a separate pot to boil. You then run them under cold water and mix the cooled noodles with the almond butter sauce and chopped veggies. No heating it through - apparently it’s a pasta salad meant to be eaten cold or at room temperature.

Here’s the finished products:

The verdict? For both of us, the miso soup was our favorite of the two. The soba noodles were decent but I think in the future, I would go for the cheaper (and much easier to find) buckwheat/wheat soba noodles. These 100% buckwheat noodles were particularly chewy and had a stronger flavor than I’m used to from a pasta, it was a little distracting. I’m sure you could get used to it, but eh. The almond butter sauce was decent, although it’s hard to say how much I really liked it when I was a bit distracted by the buckwheat flavor. I think the sauce could’ve used a little more spice but then, I like my food to pack a big flavor punch. The miso soup, though - totally delicious. I probably wouldn’t change a thing if I made it again.

So, a busy Monday of a lot of shopping and prepping food. If it sounds time-consuming and like a lot of work... it is! But a big part of that is just my learning curve with these ingredients and recipes, and also creating my own pantry items that now will hopefully last me for a few weeks or even months (the date syrup, umani sauce, hot sauce etc...). I haven’t minded because this is a hobby and an interest for me, but I can see how it’d be a barrier for the average American working full-time and trying to juggle 4873286 other responsibilities and commitments on top of that. But honestly? This cookbook is designed with ultimate maximum health benefits in mind. Dr. G wrote this thinking of the sort of person who’s been told he probably has 6-12 months left to live due to the progression of their cancer, or the person who’s had to have multiple bypass surgeries due to the advancement of heart disease. That’s why there’s no oil, no added salt, and no store-bought sauces or condiments in this book. But does that mean you couldn’t cook this way yourself?

I think not at all. This book shows you what the absolute ideal would be - according to Dr. G’s nutritional philosophy, anyhow. There are other big names in nutrition who agree with him but there are others who don’t - a topic to get into more on another day. But if you think you’d be willing to try making a few plant-based meals, or even make a complete switch for a week or two as an “experiment” like I’ve been doing, but the homemade sauces and condiments and milks sound like too much work and you also refuse to give up your EVOO and kosher salt - then don’t! It’d be so easy to adapt these recipes to your own preferences. As I’ve written multiple times, I’ve tried my best to follow Dr. G’s instructions as faithfully as possible just because I’ve been curious about what it’s like to cook that way. If you think all this extra legwork isn’t feasible for you but are curious about the idea of incorporating more whole-food meals into your diet, you can absolutely use these recipes but substitute in your own hot sauce. Your own sweeteners. Your own vegetable stock. Add salt or oil if you want to. Your own pre-made Asian condiments that you know are loaded with salt and sugar. Heck, I’ve done almost all of those myself multiple times already on this journey. At the end of the day, you’re still getting a lot more vegetables and fiber into your diet, and you’re also significantly reducing your carbon footprint for that day - did you know every pound of meat you consume takes several hundred gallons of water to produce?

The reason why I titled today’s post “turning a corner” is because Monday is the day I first started to really think - Maybe I really do want to live this way. Not just as an experiment. The recipes have been delicious, honestly not that hard to prep (especially if you opt for pre-made condiments!), and I feel more energetic and focused than I’ve felt basically ever - and that’s after only 6 days. How will I be feeling by the end of Day 15? Still remains to be seen, but right now I’m definitely feeling more and more each day like I’m moving in the right direction. I feel like I’m taking control of my health and my life in a way that’s extremely satisfying.

Oh, and for the record - there won’t really be a Day 7 post, because I had so much leftover food at the end of the day on Monday that there was no need for me to cook yesterday! I’ll still aim to have a blog post up again in the next day, but will just skip ahead to Day 9.

Happy hump day, friends! See you on the next post.

Today’s music rec: “American Boy” by Estelle

#foodblog #foodblogger #foodblogging #veganism #plantbased #wholefoods #healthyeating #healthycooking

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kellieucb · 6 years

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Becoming vegetarian to save your life?

Picture taken by Marco Verch on June 29, 2018

I remembered seeing on TV a quotation from Louis de Funès saying:

- “I gave up fishing the day I realized that by catching them, they were not happy and didn’t wiggle with joy.”

My curiosity suddenly aroused on this topic and this is how I started wondering if the carnivore diet was the most appropriate for Human beings.

Being vegan or vegetarian sounds fancy in Paris, and these restaurants flourish in all districts. Why people are becoming vegetarian, is it for health or ethical reasons? Are we doing a mistake by eating animals?

Havard Health Publishing reported “Approximately six to eight million adults in the United States eat no meat, fish, or poultry,(…)”, according to the poll run by Harris Interactive and commissioned by the Vegetarian Resource Group, a non-profit organization that disseminates information about vegetarianism.

In fact, many types of diets could be defined as vegetarianism, but I will only focus on the two-main types of vegetarian. First, we can mention the total vegetarians who remove any kind of animals based products from their diet including eggs and gelatin, then the partial vegetarians who only try to avoid meat but eat fish (pesco-vegetarian, pescatarian) or poultry (pollo-vegetarian). Besides, most vegetarians choose a diet in between: they don’t eat dead animals but do eat eggs on a dairy.

Since vegetarianism has become affordable, more and more people want to try this diet whereas the early bird vegetarian used to be people who couldn’t afford meat. Today, most people choose to become vegetarian because they feel concerned about animals, their health or religious conviction.

In my opinion being vegetarian might express a sense of consciousness toward the environment we are living in. As well as being healthy, you contribute to animals’ welfare on the contrary, following other diet including meat triggers off a hard exploitation of fields and water use. Some may say that being vegetarian is the solution of the coming lack of resources. Regarding health, being vegetarian reduces the development of cancer, heart diseases, diabetes and obesity. Give it a try, here you can find 30 recipes for each day if you want to know more on this topic.

However, becoming vegetarian should be done under surveillance of doctors because you might consume less than the dietary nutritional intake which could triggers deficiencies regarding protein or anaemia. From a social point of view, most of the time, vegetarians suffer from exclusion because they tend to be misunderstood while always justifying their choice of diet which can be heavy to bear. For instance, one of my vegetarian friend always struggles when we hang out at people’s house because most snacks are made with meat, for this reason she reduced the number of friends she had.

This topic had attracted my attention for so long that I decided to try to become vegetarian. Last January I have adopted the pesco-vegetarian diet since it appeared as the most appropriate for me. Eating vegetables, fruits, grains, fishes and eliminate meat and poultry helped maintain my diet throughout my experimental journey. My weight and blood pressure was also controlled for healthy matters.

As soon as I started this diet, I lost weight. At the end of the month I had lost 9.9 lbs in 3 weeks and 11.0 in total, nevertheless my skin problems had dramatically reduced while my hair had grown.

As a result, this experiment had proven that my diet was too much oriented on meat. Unfortunately, I became sick with a flu, and apparently, my diet wasn’t sufficient for the recovery. I kept on trying different natural ways to recover but it didn’t work: I stayed sick for 3 weeks and kept losing weight.

On one hand, I was happy of my weight loss, but on the other hand I was extremely tired. I have learned later that I was suffering from a lack of protein due to my diet. Since this experiment, I have never tried to become vegetarian again but my shape, and health still have all my attention.

My main concern is to stay fit while trying out different tastes and being healthy. So, where to start? Which diet to choose?

As far as I am concerned, I try to eat as many vegetables and fruits as I can. Harvard Medical Schoolmentions it this way in an article: “The more veggies, the greater the variety – the better”.The different components of your plate should be balanced as shown in this article from Harvard Medical School here.

First, I suggest vegetables represent half of your plate, don’t be afraid to put colours in your plate by mixing beans, with tomatoes, or corn for example.

In France, the Government is concerned about obesity, consequently they advertise a rule: 5 fruits and vegetables per day! Even if I can’t follow this advice perfectly I try to eat 5 fruits OR vegetables per day. For instance: for breakfast, I like having fruits and granola bar, at lunch I sometime eat salad with rice, tomatoes and chicken and some grapes or soup for dinner time. You may wonder why I don’t have a proper dinner? In order to have a good night sleep, I’d rather eat a light meal, otherwise I feel heavy.

Then Havard Medical School recommends the grain represent a quarter of our plate.The whole grain refers to bread, rice, wheat, pasta, quinoa… French people love bread as it belongs to our culture, however we need to control the quantity eaten. One of my favorite grain to consume is quinoa. If you are not familiar with it I would suggest you taste it as soon as possible, you will love this grain.

Proteins should also represent a quarter of your meal. They can be found in fish, chicken, but also in beans and nuts. If I had to pick up one source of protein I would chose chicken for its many healthy advantages; coupled with exercise it helps shaping bodies perfectly while enjoying your meal. Regarding oils, using healthy oils such as olive oil or sunflower oil is more appropriate because they are healthy and affordable.

Before eating, don’t forget to drink a glass of water to be prepared for your meal. Water maintains your body hydrated and eliminate toxins from your body, the best way to get rid of these is to drink at least 1 litter of water all day long. You can drink different juice of your choice also, as long as it doesn’t happen every day. But, stay away from soda!

Here you can find recipes ideas adjusted to people’s characteristics (diabetics, vegetarian, vegan) for all part of meal (snack, starter, lunch, meal, desserts).

To go further, here are my main tips to stay healthy and expand your life expectancy:

- Choose carefully the ingredients you would like to eat so you can easily control the quality;

- Practice some sport of your choice daily.

For example, I like waking up an hour early to do my workout, it enables me to better enjoy my morning, and connect my body with my brain. Morning exercises are the best way to wake up your muscles gently and feel completely ready to go to school or work. My main focus is working out my abs and my legs, however a lot a people love stretching instead.

All in all, I would define a healthy life style as a balanced diet mixing the right quantity of quality products while work out daily. I usually say that a healthy lifestyle is 70% diet and 30% sport.

Have fun but don’t be frustrated and have a fast food sometimes if you want!

Source: Picture taken by Trang Thai on December 16, 2017

References :

Becoming a vegetarian - https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/becoming-a-vegetarian - Published: October, 2009, Updated: December 4, 2017

Healthy Eating Plate and Healthy Eating Pyramid - https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/healthy-eating-plate/ - Published: 2011

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adulttalk · 7 years

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How to Shop On a Budget

This is going to be an all-inclusive post on how to shop for food, clothes/shoes, toiletries/house supplies, and makeup on a budget. Here we go!

Food

1. Shop after you’ve eaten a fulfilling meal. If you shop on an empty stomach, you’re going to buy more food than you’ll need and it’ll probably be food that isn’t good for you.

2. If you’re shopping for a week or two, have a menu already for those weeks of the foods you’re going to eat. Know the ingredients you’ll need for these foods.

3. From the menu you’ve created, make a grocery list before entering the store. Stick to this list like it’s a lifeline and you’re stranded on an island. If you don’t get sidetracked, you probably won’t be tempted to buy foods you don’t need.

4. Try to limit yourself to only going to the grocer’s once or twice a week. If you go more often, the more money you’re going to end up spending.

5. Shop in a store that you know well. If you’re shopping in a store where you’re unfamiliar with the layout, you’ll get sidetracked from your list and be more tempted to buy food that you won’t need.

6. You should probably be cleaning out your fridge and pantry every couple of weeks or so. This allows you to see what you’ve got and use it up before if expires and before you buy anything else.

7. On the same note, keep your fridge and pantry fairly organized. If you’ve got a mess, it’s going to be hard for you to keep track of what you do and don’t have and you’re going to have a hard time making an accurate shopping list. Don’t waste money by buying something you didn’t know you already had because your fridge is a wreck.

8. If your grocery store offers coupons, use them! Even if they’re only saving you pennies, the pennies will add up. Take the money you save at the end of every month and put it towards other expenses such as bills, pamper yourself with it, or deposit it into a savings account.

9. Don’t use coupons to buy something if you’re not going to use it. However, if you plan your meals for the week around coupons, you can definitely save big $$, be the judge of when to use coupons or not. Similarly, if things are buy one get one half off and their easy to store and non-perishables like granola bars and you always eat granola bars for snacks, buy as many as you can afford or as many as you need. Be the judge of when to use coupons and/or bulk sales.

10. Use the calculator app on your phone to keep track of how much money you’re spending. This will help you to stick to your budget/grocery list and keep you from overspending. Don’t forget to allow for taxes!

11. Cook meals that you can get three or four servings out of like spaghetti and soup. Freeze these leftovers and reheat them when you’re ready for your next meal. It’s an amazing money saver. Leftovers are my life.

12. Foods that are fairly cheap and versatile:

eggs -- scrambled, hard-boiled, fried, they go with anything

potatoes -- buy a sack of them instead of the instant packs, they’ll last forever and you can make mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, fried potatoes, sliced potatoes, diced potatoes in soups, the list is forever

Apples --- these last forever on the counter, you can eat them with yogurt, oatmeal, smoothies, peanut butter, or alone

Pasta noodles -- you can do anything with pasta noodles and the carbs are filling

Any type of canned beans -- green beans, black eyed peas, pinto beans, brown beans, they’re all delicious, buy what you like and they can be eaten alone as a side, in soups, or topped on other foods, again protein is filling and definitely cheaper than meat

Canned vegetables in general -- wash them in cold water before cooking to get rid of all the extra salts and other ingredients they add to canned goods that aren’t good for you

Rice -- I’m not a fan of rice but it is cheap and you can literally do anything with it

13. Use store savings cards. Even if you don’t care about the points (I don’t), the cards will usually get you discounts on some items and allow you to get items on sale that people without cards wouldn’t.

14. If you eat/can afford meat, buy meat when it goes on sale and freeze it until you’re going to use it.

15. If you’re dead set on buying produce, get it while it’s in season and refrain from buying something when it’s not in season. Instead, use the produce that is. Produce and when they’re in season:

Apples: late summer through fall

Apricots: late spring through early summer

Artichokes: spring and again in early fall

Asparagus: spring

Avocados: summer

Basil: summer

Beets: year-round

Blackberries: summer

Blueberries: summer

Boysenberries: early summer

Broccoli: fall and winter

Brussels Sprouts: late fall and winter

Butternut Squash: fall and winter

Cabbage: fall and winter

Cantaloupes: winter and early spring

Carrots: year-round

Cauliflower: fall and winter

Celery: fall and winter

Cherries: late spring and summer

Chickpeas: summer

Corn: summer

Cranberries: fall

Cucumbers: summer

Eggplant: summer and early fall

Figs: summer and fall

Garlic: summer and fall

Grapefruit: winter and spring

Grapes: late summer and early fall

Green Beans: summer and early fall

Horseradish: fall and winter

Kale: fall and winter

Kiwis: winter through spring

Leeks: fall through spring

Lemons: winter and spring

Lettuce: year-round

Limes: late summer and fall

Mandarins: winter

Mangoes: summer

Melons: summer and early fall

Mushrooms: spring through fall

Nectarines: summer

Potatoes: spring through summer

Okra: late summer and early fall

Onions: spring through fall

Oranges: winter and spring

Peaches: Summer

Pears: fall

Plums: summer

Pomegranates: fall

Pumpkins: fall

Rutabagas: fall and winter

Peas: winter

Strawberries: spring and summer

Sweet potatoes: fall and winter

Tomatoes: summer

Turnips: fall through spring

Watermelons: summer

Zucchini: summer

16. Pay attention when you’re at the register. Things may get rung up too many times or may not register that they’re on sale. My mom swears by this.

17. if at all possible, shop with cash. If you don’t have more cash than what your budget is, then you can’t go over.

Clothes and Shoes

1. Buy clothes when they’re out of season. You need winter clothes? Go online in the summer and stock up on what you’ll need.

2. Check around several different websites and stores when buying clothes. Oftentimes I can find the same item I need somewhere for cheaper than somewhere else.

3. If a store you like has an app and you’re sure of your size, get the app. I have the Charlotte Russe app and they’re always having app-exclusive sales on shoes and other clothing.

4. Buy items that are versatile and you can make many outfits with. My must have versatile items (you don’t have to have them all, these are just some options):

Jeans: light-wash, dark-wash, black, boyfriend, and distressed

Basic business attire: solid colored slacks, solid colored pencil skirt(s)

Dresses: black bodycon, gray or white bodycon, and t-shirt

Jackets: bomber and jean

Solid colored items: shirts, body suits, camisoles, sweaters, halter tops, leggings

Cardigans

Good winter coat (invest on a good one, it’ll save money in the long run)

Shorts: light-wash and dark-wash

Overalls

Skirts: skater, leather, blue jean

Simple pair of white/black/grey heels

Solid colored pair of flats

Solid colored pair of sandals

A pair of comfy shoes like Nike’s, Converse, Vans, etc.

5. Don’t buy all the latest trends. If you buy them the year afterwards, no one is going to care. You should only be buying what pleases you anyways so if you’re buying it just because it’s the latest fashion, you’re wasting money.

6. Don’t be afraid to buy your clothes from thrift stores, consignment shops, or yard sales. I find great pieces from these places all the time. It can be very hit or miss but it’s always worth the look.

7. Declutter your closet and the beginning of every season. If you’ve got something you wore only once or twice or something that still has tags on it at the bottom of your closet, get rid of it. Sell it or donate it.

8. Take care of your clothes and shoes to keep them looking good and lasting longer.

9. Know when to buy quality. If you’re messy and always getting stains on your shirts, you don’t have to buy the best quality shirts out there. Get something cheap and comfy if you’re going to have to throw it out later.

10. Shop sales racks first. I got a shirt from Old Navy once for a dollar on the sales racks. The sales racks are my (and your) best friend.

11. Places I shop:

Rue 21

Charlotte Russe

Goodwill

Plato’s Closet

Walmart (seriously they’re stepping up their quality, I bought some slacks and pencil skirt from here a while ago and they’re still good, I don’t recommend their shoes though)

TJMaxx

Old Navy

Local thrift stores and yard sales

12. Places others have recommended to shop but I haven’t tried yet:

Amazon

Zara

Mango

H&M

ASOS

Target

Toiletries and House Supplies

1. Things to buy from a dollar store/dollar tree:

Cards for occasions, party supplies, and gift wrap and bags

Seasonal decorations

Reading glasses (not prescription glasses)

Hair accessories and necessities

Pregnancy tests

Dishware, cookware, and decorative vases or bowls

Storage containers for food and other storage bins

Candy and sodas

Dishrags and towels

Medicine

Pet treats and supplies

Makeup (not everything)

Cleaning supplies

Baby supplies

Paper products

Personal items such as pads or tampons

Sandwich bags

Band-aids and other first-aid items

Mailing labels

School supplies

Not everything on this list may be available at your dollar store or may even be a better deal than your local Walmart or other retail store so check around.

2. Again, use coupons and store cards to your advantage!

3. Shop for school supplies when there’s no-tax weekend. It’ll save you so much $$

4. Same as with clothes and shoes, check around many stores to find the best prices on goods and then make a shopping list once a week and hit up all the stores for the specific goods they have the best deals on.

5. Make a specific shopping list for what you need and stick to it.

6. Keep all of your personal products and your cleaning cabinet organizes so you know what you do and don’t have and can avoid buying duplicates in case you’re tight on money.

Makeup

1. I watched a ton of YouTube videos for drug store hauls and dupes.

2. Ask your friends and family if they have any recommendations for drug store steals and deals.

3. Try to avoid high end makeup if you can. You can usually find a drugstore dupe of almost if not the same quality and for way cheaper.

4. If you want to splurge on yourself and buy high end makeup, don’t buy it when it first comes out. Sometimes the items will go on sale online a while after they come out and all the hype has gone down.

5. Not only for makeup but for clothes and shoes as well, shop on cyber Monday or Black Friday to get ultimate money savings

Where to get quality makeup for a low price:

Brushes: E.L.F., Ecotools, Morphe, BH Cosmetics

Mascara: Maybelline

Blushes: Milani, NYX

Lipstick: NYX, Colourpop, Maybelline

Eyeshadows: NYX, Colourpop, Morphe, Coastal Scents

Primer: Maybelline, NYX

Setting Spray: NYX, Milani, Hard Candy

Highlighters: Rimmel, LA Girl, Maybelline, Milani

Brow Gel: NYX

Loose Powder and Under Eye Concealer: E.L.F., Maybelline, NYC

Foundation: L’Oreal, E.L.F, Cover Girl

Pressed Powder: Rimmel

Bronzer: Milani, Essence, Makeup Revolution

Brow Mascara: Essence

Eyeliner: LA Girl, NYX

Contour: Makeup Revolution, BH Cosmetics

BB Cream: LA Girl

Places to get a variety of stuff for good quality but may be hit or miss or be of varying price ranges:

Catrice Cosmetics: good products but limited in options

Chi Chi: good for large palettes

BH Cosmetics: good for a variety of everything but may be hit or miss

Coastal Scents: good for eyeshadows

LA Girl: good for lipsticks and highlighters

Makeup Revolution: good for a variety of things but different price ranges

NYX: good for a variety of things but may be hit or miss

This post has taken me forever with all of the research, I hope everyone can get a use out of this. Enjoy!

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primortravel · 3 years

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New Post has been published on https://primortravel.com/20-traditional-polish-foods-to-try-in-poland-or-at-home/

20 Traditional Polish Foods to Try in Poland or At Home

Ready to take a tour of traditional food in Poland? You’ve got everything from your standard fare that’s been eaten in Poland for generations to dishes that even molecular gastronomist Ferran Adrià would applaud. On your next trip there, make sure you try some of the following food in Poland.

I have to say: before I left for my trip to Poland, my idea of Polish cuisine was pierogi and kielbasa. While I did find those traditional Polish foods aplenty, I also was surprised by the diversity of other foods in Poland, including some pretty amazing contemporary cuisine at cutting-edge restaurants.

Must-Try Traditional Polish Foods

This post was originally written by Susan Guillory and has been updated by The Planet D with even more delicious Polish dishes.

1. Pierogi

Pierogi is a must-try food in Poland

You won’t get far in Poland without running into a pierogi, and believe me, you won’t mind. Eating Pierogi’s in Poland is like eating dumplings are in Asia, or empanadas in South or Central America: flat dough discs stuffed with delightful fillings and then boiled. At the restaurant Zapiecek, which seems to be as ubiquitous as TGIFriday’s in the US (though much tastier in my humble opinion), we also sampled fried pierogi, which, frankly, I preferred.

The most common pierogi are filled with beef, though you’ll find both sweet and savory fillings like twaróg cheese, (a type of cottage cheese) lentils, turkey and carrots, mushrooms, and even fruit or jams. Served with a side of sour cream for savory pierogies or powdered sugar, butter, or even whipped cream for sweet pierogies.

Red Barszcz (Borscht)

Red Barszcs with noodles

Red Barszcz is a Polish beet soup that is similar to borscht of eastern European countries like Russia and Ukraine. (We at a lot of Goulash on the Mongol Rally). Traditional borscht is usually made from cabbage and contains meat and tomatoes while the Polish version of barszcz is meatless and is a basic beet broth soup that is red in color. You can really put anything in you like and it is often served with potatoes and vegetables. Note: White Barszcz is similar but uses fermented rye flour or sour rye bread base. Make your own Barszcz with this authentic European recipe.

Zurek

One soup we had over and over again in Poland (not that I minded) was Zurek, or sour bread soup. It was tangy and creamy, and at Hotel Bristol’s Marconi Restaurant — which got my vote for the best zurek — it also had a quail’s egg and bits of ham.

Nalesniki

Nalesniki is a Polish crepe similar to French crepes. They can be filled with whatever you like and are often eaten as breakfast food. But they can be filled with other ingredients like sauerkraut, cheese, meats, and mushrooms. Popular sweet fillings are jams, fruit, and cottage cheese can also be used. See how to make Nalesniki at home with this recipe.

Krokiety

Krokiety is stuffed Nalesniki (crepes) that are battered with breadcrumbs and fried to perfection. These Polish Croquettes are stuffed with mushrooms and fried onions and are usually served with Barszcz. A traditional Christmas Eve dish, they can also be stuffed with any meat or cabbage. But they aren’t only eaten at Christmas, Korkiety can be found in most Polish food restaurants and food stands. Polish foodies blog has a good recipe to follow.

Mizeria

Mizeria is a refreshing Polish cucumber salad. The term Mizeria means misery in Polish but this salad is anything but miserable. This creamy cucumber salad is made with sour cream, vinegar, fresh dill and salt and sugar.

Salatka Jarzynowa

Another type of Polish salad is Salatka Jarzynowa made of boiled carrots and potatoes. Mix these main ingredients with mayonnaise, pickled cucumbers and peas, and onions. You can also add boiled eggs for some protein.

Rosol

Rosol is a Polish chicken soup that is served on special occasions. Like your grandma’s chicken soup, Rosol is also eaten when feeling under the weather for the ultimate comfort food. The chicken broth is served with noodles, carrots, parsley, and other herbs and spices.

Placki Ziemniaczane (Potato Pancakes)

Mmm mmm good. These Polish potato pancakes are crisp on the outside and soft on the inside. The easy to prepare recipe makes it a staple in Polish cuisine. Grate potatoes and add eggs and onions and then fry them up in oil for a quick and easy meal. Serve with a side of sour cream and you have a delicious snack. The Polish Housewife shares a couple of recipes here.

Makowiec (Polish Poppy Seed Roll)

Makowiec (strucla makowa) is rolled dough filled with your choice of filling with the main filling being poppyseed. Add butter, sugar, walnuts and raisins and you have a sweet and delicious treat. You can find these poppy seed rolls at any bakery in Poland. And it is often served on holidays like Christmas and Easter. Learn how to make this yummy treat at the Spruce Eats.

Paczki

Another sweet treat to add to your Polish dinner party is Paczki. Paczki are the Polish version of doughnuts. Deep-fried dough is usually filled with jams, fruit, or custards and sprinkled with powdered sugar. People started baking Paczki on Fat Thursday to use up the lard, eggs, and fruit to prepare for the fasting of Lent.

Bison Grass Vodka

At home, I could take or leave vodka, but once I had my first szarlotka (also known as tatanka) beverage upon arrival, there was no going back. Poland is proud of its vodka and will argue to the grave that they — not Russia — invented it and then perfected it. Zubrowka is the brand of choice because of one unique flavor: bison grass. The grass gives the vodka its distinct mellow vanilla flavor, and even decorates the inside of the bottle.

Mix Zubrowka with apple juice, and you have the szarlotka. It helps if you have the amazing light apple juice you can find in Poland rather than the artificial stuff in the US.

Burning Rose Dessert

If you’re like me, you skip dessert at the end of the meal simply because there’s no room in your tummy. But after my fellow travel writers and I saw the cloud-like Burning Rose being delivered to a nearby table at Krakow’s Szaragez, we changed our tune. The clouds turned out to be cotton candy, which was lit on fire to melt to a dish of raspberry parfait. The actual dessert was as good as the performance!

Kabanosy

Kabanosy (kabanos) is a Polish sausage. This long thin strip of sausage is often touted as the finest meat stick in the world. The process of salting and curing this sausage can take from 3 months to one year. It got its name from the nickname given to the young fat pigs (kabanek) that are raised in Eastern Poland with a diet of mostly potatoes.

Golabki – Polish Cabbage Rolls

You can’t visit Eastern Europe without tasting traditional cabbage rolls. Golabki consists of boiled cabbage stuffed with minced meat, rice, and chopped onions. Smother them with a tomato sauce for savory goodness. Check out the Polonist for the ingredients and how to make it.

Bigos – Hunter’s Stew

Bigos is a Polish meat stew and shredded cabbage and sauerkraut. You can really put anything you like in it from different meats to sausages or no meat at all. Slow cook it with mushrooms, onions, and tomatoes and let the aromas seep into your house. Check it out here.

Kopytka

Kopytka is potato dumplings that are popular in southern Poland. They can be eaten as a side dish or as a main meal. Their diamond shape is said to resemble little hooves. Similar to Italian Gnocci, Kopytka can be served any way you like. Top them with tomato sauce, saute them with garlic, mushrooms and onions, top them with buttered breadcrumbs, or even make them a sweet treat with powdered sugar. Get this mashed potato dumpling recipe to make at home.

Kotlet Schabowy (Breaded Pork Cutlets)

kotlet schabowy is similar to Schnitzel

Kotlet Schabowy is a breaded pork chop that reminded me of Schnitzel in Germany or Austria. This main course dish is made of pork that is pounded to a thin piece of meat, breaded with bread crumbs and flour and an egg and then cooked in oil over high heat. Serve with Sauerkraut and mashed potatoes and you have the perfect Sunday afternoon meal.

Gulasz (Goulash)

This comfort food is a Polish stew similar to Goulash you’ll find in Hungary. Gulasz is a meat stew usually made with beef, onions, and tomatoes with a dash of paprika. It can be served over boiled potatoes or noodles and with a side of fresh baked bread. Polish Meals has a good easy to follow recipe here.

Steak Tartare

On our last night in Warsaw, I swore I wouldn’t eat meat again. As amazing as the food had been, I was meated out. But then I saw steak tartare being prepared tableside at Stary Dom, and I knew I was a goner. The chef, in his 60s, I’d guess, prepares between 150 and 200 steak tartare servings each day! First, he deftly chops the steak, then mixes in mushrooms, fried onions, seasonings, and other goodies. The portion was way more than we could eat! I hated leaving it, but what can you do in a country that is so generous with its portions?

Poland surprised me in many ways, not the least of which was its memorable cuisine. Do you like Polish food? What is your favorite dish?

Photos by Susan Guillory and the following:

Silar, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons – krokiety

Steven Depolo from Grand Rapids, MI, USA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons – cabbage rolls

Kuruni, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons – Golabki

Silar, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Mariuszjbie, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons -Mizeria

JanKokular, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons – crepes

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zenonaa · 6 years

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Chapters: 7/? Fandom: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Fukawa Touko/Togami Byakuya, Fukawa Touko/Togami Byakuya/Kirigiri Kyouko, Fukawa Touko/Kirigiri Kyouko, Kirigiri Kyouko/Togami Byakuya (Dangan Ronpa) Summary: Togami hires Kirigiri to solve a mass murder that occurred at his wedding anniversary party. One hitman was apprehended, but he refuses to say a single word, while the other got away. The mastermind could be anyone, but the list of suspects is getting shorter, and Kirigiri finds herself learning more about the Togamis than she anticipated.

Comments: i might post the next chapter in two weeks because i want to write a bday fic for togami lol.

Byakuya’s father didn’t stay the night. After dinner, he departed from the Togami manor in a sleek limousine where he could sit at the back by himself, with only the products of his success as company. Once he was gone, Byakuya retreated into his office, and Kyouko decided to give him some space after the tense, silent meal.

In any case, the next day preoccupied Kyouko, with reviewing evidence, comparing witness statements and following leads that came to brick walls, and they all paved the way to one individual: Byakuya.

He could easily have smuggled in the hitmen and helped one escape, but then Kyouko didn’t understand why he would hire her. Did he think she wouldn’t be able to do it? Was he messing with her, like he used to with some of their classmates? But he only had one known motive for one victim, and she didn’t understand why he would cause such a mess for himself.

Or it could have been a coincidence. Maybe. Unfortunately, Byakuya seemed wrapped up in video conferences for conglomerate business, not attending meals, and Kyouko was busy too, so she didn’t have the chance to question him. During the next two late night sessions with Touko, she didn’t bring up what happened, not between Byakuya and his father or what happened between Byakuya, Touko and Kyouko, and Touko didn’t pursue the topic either. It felt white hot to touch, for now.

Two days after Kijou’s visit, Kyouko went down to breakfast and walked into an empty dining room. One of the maids waiting there flitted into the kitchen, returning to Kyouko with food. Kyouko started to eat, and part way through her hot chocolate and croissant, the door opened. She looked up.

“Good morning,” greeted Kyouko.

“Good morning,” parroted Touko, alone, and she sat opposite Kyouko. A maid soon brought out a similar breakfast for Touko, but the maid may as well have had blue skin for all the notice that Kyouko took of her.

Touko slowly ate a few mouthfuls.

“How did you sleep?” asked Kyouko.

“Enough,” said Touko, whether that meant in the number of hours or how soundly. Kyouko wasn’t sure.

Another mouthful.

“I haven’t seen Togami-kun much lately,” said Kyouko.

Touko grimaced, chewed a bit more and swallowed.

“He’s in his office. He had some food on a tray beside him when I popped in earlier,” she informed Kyouko, like she had a bad taste in her mouth.

“I see,” said Kyouko.

They ate. Next time, Touko picked up the conversation, if it could be called that.

“My darling is very busy and doesn’t want to be disturbed, so you know,” she said.

Kyouko nodded. “I will leave him alone then.”

After breakfast, Touko slipped away, and Kyouko didn’t give chase. She went to the Togami library and used the login details that Byakuya had supplied her. Many of the folders stored on the server were passworded, but she had access to the tapes of the interviews that Byakuya supervised.

On her previous persuals, she had focused on those being interviewed, but now she turned her attention to those conducting the interviews. Alongside Byakuya, there was Pennyworth, both dressed in simple black suits, and interrogators that Kyouko knew the names of but little else. Byakuya occasionally asked questions, but the interrogator extracted the most information.

Going through all of them would take several hours, not accounting for pausing or rewatching certain bits again. Kyouko rested her chin in her palm and studied Byakuya, but his stoic demeanour didn’t throw anything his way that she considered suspicious.

She stopped around lunchtime, not at all finished, and headed to the dining room, where to her surprise, Touko was joined by not only Byakuya but Anastazja as well.

None of them greeted Kyouko, who sat down beside Touko. The table had been set but no food had been brought out. There was a jar, though, containing peaches floating in a pink liquid that Kyouko could see in the cup of the others. Kyouko used a dipper to get some into her cup and tasted it.

Lightly sweet. Pleasant. She drank some more.

“Do you like it?” asked Anastazja. Kyouko lowered the cup, cradling it in her hands.

“I do,” she said. “It’s refreshing.”

“It’s peach kompot,” said Anastazja.

Kyouko sipped approvingly.

Soon after, several maids served lunch, bringing out trays of various foods so that everyone could choose their own components and portions. There were soups of autumn hues, and as for the main course, there were soft steamed beef tongues, a meaty stew that contained sausages along with chunks of different animals, boiled beef in an off-white sauce, cabbage stuffed with meat and rice, and a platter of traditional breaded pork cutlets. For sides, they could help themselves to roast potatoes, french fries, rice and miscellaneous vegetables.

“If you want a safe option, I advise you go for the pork cutlets,” said Byakuya, pointing. Kyouko ignored him and spooned stew into her bowl, and she added some cabbage stuffed with meat to her plate before claiming a bowl of tomato soup for herself, which had noodles in it.

Byakuya chose a creamy green soup with egg in it and the stew as well, along with a small helping of vegetables. The other two women served themselves, and the meal officially started, cutlery working quietly and mouths chewing.

After a few mouthfuls of boiled beef, Touko picked up her soup spoon but didn’t dip it into her soup, which was the same as what Byakuya chose, but into Byakuya’s bowl. She presented the spoon to Byakuya, who opened his mouth without looking away from his food. Smiling, Touko tipped the contents in and replenished the spoon for the next go. Byakuya turned his head slightly and consumed the next several spoonfuls without complaint, holding but not using his spoon that he had barely fed himself with.

“Are your hands too tired to feed yourself?” asked Anastazja, who hadn’t eaten for a minute.

He furrowed his brow. Anastazja’s eyes darted toward Touko, who glowered.

“They’re not tired,” he told Anastazja, but he didn’t make any attempt to feed himself. Touko looked away from Anastazja and resumed feeding him.

“If your hands were too tired to feed yourself, then that would explain why you’ve lost a bit of weight, Byakuya,” said Anastazja. “Since I last saw you, I would say you have lost around eight pounds, which one would expect to lose in a month following a strict diet plan.”

“I’m not dieting,” said Byakuya. “I’ve just been preoccupied with work.”

“He doesn’t have to diet,” piped up Touko. She looked down and smirked slightly. “B-But... even if he was heavier... it wouldn’t matter to me. There would just be more of him for me to love.”

Anastazja pursed her lips.

The rest of the meal marched on with an uneasy sort of silence that despite its unwanted presence, no one asked it to leave the table. Touko fed Byakuya the rest of his soup, and then he returned the favour with her soup. Anastazja pointedly ignored them as Touko fed Byakuya his main course, alternating after every few feedings with Byakuya who did the same to her. They didn’t acknowledge Anastazja, or Kyouko, and Kyouko found herself watching the couple in small doses while she cleared her plate. Small smiles eased on their lips as they progressed through the meal together.

Kyouko felt full and warm by the time she finished her meal. However, the first to rise was Byakuya. A maid approached and stacked a tray with the dishes and utensils that he used. He stepped away from his chair and strode off. Touko sprung up and stuck close to his side, accompanying him out. Anastazja cast her narrowed eyes at Touko’s back and hooked onto her small frame.

When Touko left the room, no longer in sight, Anastazja simply stared at the door.

“How long are you here for?” Kyouko chanced.

“I will leave tomorrow morning,” said Anastazja. She hauled her gaze onto Kyouko. A weaker person than Kyouko would have been knocked off balance. “Before I depart, I want to sit down and speak with you.”

“That’s fine,” said Kyouko. “I was actually hoping to talk to you.”

Anastazja examined her nails.

“I want to talk to my son first, and I will be busy for the next few hours, but at five o’clock sharp, you may join me in my room,” she said, and then she clenched her hand into a fist. “Don’t be late.”

“I assume you’re in the guest wing?” said Kyouko, unperturbed.

“Indeed. Room Nine.”

Until then, Kyouko tried to busy herself by watching some more interview footage in the library, but she didn’t make much headway before she paused the video. Sat in front of the computer, she shut her eyes and rubbed her temples. All of this, she had seen, listened to, and nothing about it had changed. She needed to talk to people for herself. To particular people.

Kyouko logged off the computer and decided to seek out Touko. Last time, she found her in her writing room, so she went there first and knocked on the door.

No one answered, but she heard tapping from within, and she cracked the door ajar. The sound originated from Touko, whose fingers pounded against her keyboard as she sat hunched in front of her computer. Kyouko opened the door wider. Words continued to stutter out beneath Touko’s touch, no more and no less than before Kyouko came in.

From where Kyouko stood, she could only view the back of Touko. She drew a bit closer and positioned herself off to the side of Touko, where she could see more of Touko’s face. There, she observed the tip of Touko’s tongue that protruded from between her lips, a pink shoot sprouting, and the crease that divided her brow down the middle.

Touko’s tongue retreated into her mouth and her lips curled in on themselves. Her back shuddered as she flexed, pausing from her writing, fingers twitching but not pressing down on any keys. Footsteps sounded from the doorway, and the silver-haired maid who Kyouko interacted with on the morning of Kijou’s visit walked in, holding a tray.

Most of Touko’s desk was covered with, among other things, various papers clipped together and ring-binders, so the maid deliberated and set the tray down on a short, flat pile of paper folders. On the tray was a teapot, a cup and a tray of rice dumplings.

“I apologise, I didn’t realise you had company, Touko-san,” said the maid. Touko stirred and turned around.

She caught sight of Kyouko and jumped.

“How long have you been here, snooping?” asked Touko sharply.

“I came in a minute ago,” replied Kyouko, but she didn’t know how long she had been there. It couldn’t have been longer than that. “I didn’t snoop through anything. I just stood here.”

The maid’s features hardened. “Do you wish for me to escort her out?”

Though the maid spoke calmly, she seemed ready to leap into action and perhaps toss Kyouko over her shoulder.

Touko hesitated.

“... No, it’s all right,” said Touko, glancing away. “I have a cup from earlier, so Kirigiri can use the clean one. Unless you’re only here briefly?”

She aimed the last part at Kyouko and stared at her.

“I wouldn’t want to distract you,” said Kyouko, trailing off.

“So you do have business with me,” said Touko. Her eyes flickered. “I knew it... Tojo, you can go now. We’ll be fine.”

The maid gave a quick bow before leaving the room. Touko waited a few more seconds before turning her gaze to Kyouko.

“What is it?” she asked Kyouko, who shifted slightly. “If this is about what the three of us did together, I don’t have anything more to say about it than what Byakuya told you the first morning after.”

She laced her fingers together and regarded Kyouko with a steady squint.

“I don’t know how much you heard,” started Kyouko, but Touko butted right in.

“All of it,” revealed Touko. “I was tired and I didn’t want to join in, so I listened. I just pretended to be asleep.”

“I see. Does that mean you don’t believe it was a dream now?” said Kyouko.

Touko pulled a face and poured herself some tea from a cup that had been on her desk before Kyouko entered her writing room. She sipped with that same expression, and Kyouko took the teapot as soon as Touko returned it to the tray.

“Neither of us thought that would happen,” said Touko. “When Byakuya invited you to our room that night, he did just want to play Monopoly. I was a bit surprised, and...”

Silence tried to wiggle in and wedge itself between the pair.

“... and?” prompted Kyouko.

“... back at Hope’s Peak, you were one of the first people who he considered a near-equal,” admitted Touko bitterly.

Kyouko’s eyebrows raised but she reigned them in.

Touko rotated the cup in her hands slowly. “Don’t look so blank... I’m not going to repeat myself for your ego. He recognised your skill and intelligence. I could smell the rivalry a mile away. I didn’t care for you back then, and I know that you felt likewise.”

The past tense caught Kyouko’s attention, but she pushed past it.

“I didn’t dislike you,” said Kyouko, earning a scoff from Touko.

“Back then, I thought that Byakuya might have gone for you, or Celes,” said Touko. She whined. “I couldn’t stand it! You were both so cool and pretty, and Celes sucked up to him while you didn’t ever watch your tone with my Byakuya.”

“Were?” said Kyouko, unable to help herself.

“Don’t pretend to have low self-esteem!” snapped Touko. “Are. You both are. Those things.”

Kyouko’s cheeks warmed.

“But Togami-kun chose you, not us,” Kyouko pointed out.

“Y-Yes...” Touko smiled a bit and lifted her shoulders, rosy in the face. “We were destined to be...”

Kyouko had seen the cake, but not seen the recipe.

“May I ask about how you became a couple?” asked Kyouko. “When you walked into the cafeteria holding hands one morning, no one had seen it coming, and yet no one was surprised.”

Touko froze. She clicked her tongue, like a fuse being lit.

“I know what people thought of us,” said Touko. “You all thought that Byakuya deserved to die alone. You all thought I was deluded. That... That I was getting off by punishing myself with unrequited love. And okay, maybe that was the start. There are a lot of cruel men out there, like my father...”

Her face darkened and she put her cup on her saucer on her desk.

“But... there was something different about Byakuya. He kept to himself, pushed away whoever tried to get close, talked about how an invitation may have been a trap... and he liked reading. I saw myself in him,” said Touko. “He didn’t care what other people thought about him. He was, is, someone who I thought could understand me, and as I observed him, I tried to fill in the gaps, and no matter what I did, he didn’t change. He’s not fake... and I like that, and imagining us happy together... made me happy. I never had to second guess him.”

Kyouko nodded.

“For the past few years, I had been working on a side-project. My I-Novel. I don’t intend to publish it, but writing it has been therapeutic. Naegi had been trying to get close to me around that time, even introducing me to his sister, and during our second year, I let Naegi read what I had of my I-Novel so far, and his words of encouragement fueled something in me.”

Touko paused.

“On a Friday, I left the draft in Byakuya’s shoe locker, like a giddy school girl too shy to confess to her crush,” said Touko, like she hadn’t been exactly that. “Then came the wait...”

She hugged herself. A smile placed itself tentatively on her lips.

“I didn’t see him in the library for the whole of Saturday. Then, that night, he rang for me. He had read it in one sitting, and he wanted to read more. I told him that was all that I had so far. We spoke a bit, not so much about the intimate details but my hobbies, my writing...”

Her smile planted itself on her as she replayed the scene in her head.

“We didn’t start dating then... Byakuya had thinking to do. Two weeks crawled by. We talked a bit, and I found out we liked the same movies, and on a Saturday, he visited my room again and said he wanted to... to invest in us. He wanted someone strong, smart, engaging... like me... And then... our hands... ah ha...”

Kyouko braced herself.

“... we held hands... and he went such a cute red...” Touko mumbled, illustrating with her own face, and Kyouko relaxed a bit.

“If I recall correctly, he went to study in America after graduating,” said Kyouko.

“Yes. That’s right.” Touko set her hands down on her lap. She couldn’t turn off her blush, but she could smooth over her features. “Distance didn’t affect us. Both of us can go periods without being with the other. If I was to be held hostage in a city during the end of the world, having to wait until it was safe for me to leave, I wouldn’t feel a thing. We spoke on the phone, on email, on video, and we visited each other... We remained close, and then after he graduated, he proposed and we got married.”

Touko hugged herself. A small, happy mewl slipped out. Kyouko grinned.

“So... what are you working on now?” asked Kyouko. “A romance novel?”

“No. My I-Novel,” said Touko. “It’s an ongoing project. Don’t think it’s because I can’t write romance anymore, just because I’m married. At first, I thought I would struggle. After I met Byakuya, all I could write about was us. I couldn’t focus on anything else. But then, I realised I could still write romance. I could write about us, but different ways of falling in love. Us in different time periods, in a fantasy universe, in a world where we get locked into a school, have our memories wiped and are forced to kill our classmates to have a chance to escape... ah, the possibilities are endless!”

Drool slicked her lips.

“This is what soulmates are like, isn’t it?” said Touko.

“I suppose so,” replied Kyouko, trying not to look at her lips, and Touko focused on Kyouko.

“... Here.” She got up, walked over to a bookcase and plucked off a book. Kyouko let Touko push it into her hands. On the cover was a merman and a woman in a witch’s hat, positioned in a yin-yang design. “I know it’s not a detective novel like I usually recommend to you, but maybe you will enjoy it, to your surprise.”

“Thank you,” said Kyouko, studying the cover some more.

“Byakuya is more of a fan of detective novels than I am. Everything that I’ve pointed you toward are works that he liked. And... Me and Byakuya plan to collaborate on a detective novel,” Touko said, and she paused. Kyouko lifted her head. Touko picked at her fingers. “Maybe... you could read it... j-just so we can gauge whether the clues have been implemented successfully.”

“I would like that,” said Kyouko with a smile. Her heart skipped a bit as she thought that this recommendation came from Touko and not indirectly from Byakuya this time, though she hadn’t disliked those at all.

“... All right,” said Touko, blushing lightly. She whipped around to face away from Kyouko. “Oh geez... You’ve distracted me from my writing.”

“I apologise,” said Kyouko, smile slipping.

Touko shuffled back to her desk and sat down. “Don’t worry about it.”

Leaving Touko to her own devices, Kyouko read in her room during the remaining time she had before she was due to meet Anastazja. Within the first few pages, Kyouko could say with confidence that Touko based the protagonist on herself and the merman on Byakuya. Still, their first interactions were unfriendly and formal, and Touko’s prose weaved a world around Kyouko that warped time’s passage around her. When she tore her eyes away to check her phone, she realised she had five minutes to spare.

They were both staying in the guest wing, so Kyouko didn’t worry about being late. In fact, she put the book aside and decided to arrive a bit early. She left her room and crossed the corridor. At the door, she poised her hand to knock, but a noise caught her fist and held back her hand.

It sounded like crying. Muffled crying. Kyouko backtracked to her room and slammed the door. The crying stopped. She waited a few seconds before returning to Anastazja’s door and rapping her knuckles against it.

Anastazja opened. Her eyes seemed harsher than usual.

“Come in,” drawled Anastazja like she was compensating, and she marched back stiffly into her room with Kyouko trailing behind.

This guest room had a different appearance to that of Kyouko’s, which had cool blue tones, with speckled, pale yellow flooring and white panel walls. When Kyouko ventured further in, stencil art of a fern tree on one of the panels caught her eye, starting at the floor and reaching almost as high as a ceiling beam. Sunlight poured in from a window as tall as a wall and as wide as a set of double doors. The room contained two beige chairs, and Anastazja seated herself on one. Kyouko claimed the other for herself.

“We both have things that we wish to discuss. We’ll start with my queries,” said Anastazja, one leg crossed over the other.

Kyouko expected her to talk about the murders, so was caught off-guard by what Anastazja next said.

“My husband came to visit two days ago. Correct?”

“Yes,” said Kyouko. She breathed in. The room smelled like a cool forest breeze.

Anastazja nodded with a steely gaze. “I asked Byakuya about it, but he wouldn’t elaborate on many details. I doubt it was a family visit. It was about the murders. Yes?”

“We talked about that. Did you not ask Kijou about it?” asked Kyouko, prompting Anastazja to wrinkle her nose.

“When I managed to contact him, he just said they were catching up,” said Anastazja. “Byakuya’s body language intrigued me. He made eye contact less than usual, looked at stimuli more readily and touched his hair more than usual.”

Kyouko shifted in her seat.

“As Byakuya’s mother, I have the right to know,” said Anastazja. “You would be wise not to try lying to me.”

“There was an altercation between them,” Kyouko told her quietly. “Togami-kun’s father struck him when we left the room.”

No reaction. Kyouko couldn’t tell if it was because Anastazja already knew or if it just didn’t phase her.

“I figured,” said Anastazja, finally. “When Kijou gets mad, he hits or throws things and sometimes breaks them. He can be like a child throwing a tantrum, but he has never outright done physical harm to a person.”

Silence. Anastazja stared into space with a frown.

“Let me ask you something,” said Kyouko.

Anastazja eyed her.

“It’s about Sugawara’s relationship with Togami-kun,” said Kyouko.

“It was professional,” said Anastazja, betraying nothing.

“Just?” asked Kyouko, and Anastazja narrowed her eyes.

“... Tell me what that has to do with their altercation,” said Anastazja. “I’m inferring that the two are related.”

Kyouko folded her arms over her chest. “The argument was about an incident in Togami-kun’s childhood. Not a pleasant one.”

Anastazja’s eyes flickered.

“So you know about that,” said Anastazja.

“How long after did you find out?” asked Kyouko.

“What do you mean? After it happened? I found out years later, within a day of Pennyworth and Touko discovering it. Pennyworth told me,” said Anastazja.

“And what did you do?”

“What do you mean?”

One end of Kyouko’s lips pinched.

“Don’t give me that look,” snapped Anastazja. She breathed and put up a calmer demeanour, still evidently annoyed. “You’re acting like I have influence in the conglomerate and its partners.”

“Togami-kun is your son. Surely you must have been upset,” said Kyouko.

Anastazja jigged a foot. “Being upset would make me be seen as an unstable and weak woman.”

“You would be acting like a human,” said Kyouko.

“Not to those whose opinions matter to the conglomerate,” said Anastazja, and Kyouko noticed that she hadn’t confirmed nor denied what Kyouko had stated before that. Still, Anastazja hadn’t been explicit, toeing her way through her phrasing carefully. “My role ended when Byakuya won - ”

She tripped on her tongue but recovered gracefully, with just a little hitch.

“ - when Byakuya took on a more active role in the conglomerate. I raised him to be intelligent, strong and to survive. Keep afloat. Not let anyone take advantage of him,” said Anastazja. “I tried to mold him into the perfect heir.”

“But do you love him as your son?” asked Kyouko.

Anastazja flashed a glare at Kyouko, the most emotion seen on her yet, and realising, she averted her gaze. With a lack of eye contact, Anastazja drew out a silver locket from under her blouse, worn on a silver chain around her neck. Two feathery wings made of metal created the silhouette of a heart, details carved into it, and she peeled back one wing to open the locket, revealing a photograph inside.

“It’s Togami-kun,” said Kyouko, examining the picture. His hair was long in it. “It must have been around the time that he won the heir selection competition.”

“Oh, so you know about that?” asked Anastazja. She adjusted her hold on the locket, keeping it open. “In that case, I won’t be so vague on the details. Yes, that’s correct. This was taken during the competition by Pennyworth. I didn’t take many photographs of Byakuya in his younger years.”

“Why is that?” asked Kyouko, staring at her. Anastazja didn’t answer. “Is it because you were afraid?”

She didn’t answer that either.

“You didn’t want to get attached to him, did you?” said Kyouko, tilting her head to one side.

With a telltale waver, over and done with as quick as a heartbeat, Anastazja smirked and said, “Perhaps I underestimated you, Kirigiri. I didn’t know that afterwards, I would basically be giving him up. Do you know, they say that they are exiled, but many of them die suspicious deaths? Maybe if I had known...”

Anastazja squeezed the locket and wiped her expression clean.

“I have photographic memory, but if I was not there to witness an event, then I can’t have any memories of it, can I?” she said. “I remember what he wore when he asked me where his cake was on his sixth birthday. A navy waistcoat with golden buttons. A light blue shirt. We had it specially made for him by Gabriel Agreste, a renown fashion designer in France. I remember what he wore at his first recital that his father attended. A white bowtie. Black suit. White shirt. I remember what he wore at his wedding anniversary. A R. Jewels suit from England, strategically studded with four hundred and eighty diamonds. Only three were and ever will be made, and we have one of them, of course.”

Of course. Kyouko made note of this.

“Most of the photographs of Byakuya were taken by Pennyworth. He is a phlegmatic man, but he cares for Byakuya a lot,” said Anastazja. She finally shut the locket and tucked it back into her blouse. “I will speak to you as a fellow woman, Kirigiri. When I found out what Sugawara did, I wanted to kill him.”

Her shoulders squared.

“I didn’t, though,” she said. “Nor did I hire anyone to kill him. Do you know how hard it is to hire a hitman? You’re best being recommended one from someone you know, or you might accidentally come into contact with an undercover cop or out yourself with your trail. And you mustn’t meet one personally, or you risk potential blackmail from them.”

Kyouko lifted her chin a little. “Have you tried to hire one before?”

“Oh, no, even if there are people who I despise,” said Anastazja.

She stroked the pad of her index finger against her thumb, looking nowhere else.

“Touko is a fortunate woman,” admitted Anastazja softly, changing the subject, or maybe she wasn’t. “She married someone she loves, and who loves her back.”

Anastazja’s face twitched and she turned away.

“I will leave you to finding out who ordered their killings, especially Sugawara’s,” she said. “Just let me know who ordered their killings before you turn them in, so I may shake their hand. Now, what was it that you wanted to talk about?”

Kyouko stood up. “I have got all the information that I desired. Thank you.”

***

That night, Touko and Kyouko sat at the dining room table, as had become part of their nightly ritual, with a cup of hot chocolate each.

“... and how long did it take you to write the novel, from start to finish?” asked Kyouko, referring to the the book that Touko lent her.

Touko stopped prodding her marshmallow with her spoon. “A few years, but I didn’t work on it solely. I had other projects going on, and whenever I reread the story to refresh myself, I wanted to tweak the wording and basically rewrite the whole thing.”

Kyouko nodded and watched Touko take a small sip of her drink.

“The first arc felt like a chore to write at times,” said Touko, holding her cup with both hands. “I had a lot of ideas for later scenes, but I had to set them up first. You can’t decorate a cake that hasn’t been baked, like you can’t have a climax without a build up. But... those quiet moments... were fun to write, in their own way, and I think of them fondly.”

“I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read so far, including those moments. You really are a shining example of how works of text are just as much art as a drawing,” Kyouko remarked with a small smile.

The compliment made Touko squirm. She jutted out her chin. “O-Of course! I wasn’t scouted as a literary girl for no reason.”

At Hope’s Peak, Touko had been full of self-criticisms, on how she was ugly, and smelly, but when it came to her writing, her defences flared up and passion burned in her eyes as they did now, and Kyouko couldn’t look away.

“I think, after this book, I would like another,” said Kyouko.

“Are you sucking up to me?” asked Touko on the last stage before a glare.

“I’m being genuine,” Kyouko assured her. “I admit, at school, I didn’t consider giving them a chance. I acknowledged your skill but did little else beyond that. At least that means now I have a lot to look forward to reading.”

Touko gasped and positioned her cup close to her face, failing miserably to hide her blush and the smile that crept in, though maybe miserably wasn’t an appropriate verb because there was nothing sad about her appearance.

“What do Togami-kun’s parents think of your writing?” asked Kyouko, and she drank some hot chocolate while she waited for Touko’s answer.

“They don’t,” said Touko. She lowered her cup, looking grim. “My parents were only interested in it when they realised it would earn them money, and Byakuya’s parents don’t regard romance novels highly. Or romance at all. B-But all I need is my darling’s approval, so... so fuck them!”

Kyouko could have laughed, but she quirked her brow. “Is Togami-kun into romance novels?”

“No, not really, but he has read many of mine by now,” said Touko, smiling again. “Sometimes, I write him short mystery pieces, and he tries to figure out the mystery before he finishes it. He likes doing that.”

The two drank their hot chocolate peacefully. Kyouko nearly finished hers and gripped the rim of her cup between her frown. She set down her cup and after some hesitation, spoke up.

“Touko-san,” said Kyouko, maneuvering her tongue around the laser alarms in her mouth, arranged like a game of jack straws. “When Togami-kun’s father came to visit, he and Byakuya discussed a certain incident.”

The effect was immediate - Touko flinched.

“It’s not my business to say what happened way back then,” said Touko, sobering. She glanced away, put down her cup and fidgeted her hands like she couldn’t get a firm grip on the other. “But I suppose... I can say what happened a few months ago. Byakuya’s father came to visit with a few work friends...”

“... were any of them murdered later?” Kyouko butted in. Touko’s lips twisted as she recollected.

“All of them, actually. They wanted to discuss a business proposal that Byakuya ultimately had no interest in,” said Touko. “Byakuya told me that it wasn’t anything worth knowing, later. His father didn’t approve of him declining, but anyway, my darling was asked to perform for them in the concert hall we have here.”

Kyouko hadn’t been to it, but she could believe that they had one.

“On the violin,” said Touko.

“Okay,” replied Kyouko, blinking.

“Because he can perform on a number of different instruments,” Touko elaborated, and when Kyouko didn’t reply, she carried on. “I wanted to wish him good luck, so I headed toward the backstage area, but before I made myself known, I heard voices. My darling wasn’t alone. He was with...”

Touko’s lips quivered.

“Sugawara,” said Kyouko for her. She didn’t rush Touko to continue.

“... He... They were talking,” said Touko, voice thickening fast. “Byakuya told him to go away... and Sugawara spoke so sweetly... but in a rotten way... and said... he wasn’t as c-cute now...”

Behind Touko’s widened eyes, the rest of the conversation played, but Kyouko couldn’t see, couldn’t hear. Touko was made the sole audience and she tugged on her hair, her face ready to tear down the middle. Kyouko wavered but reached over and gripped Touko’s shoulder, and Touko didn’t shake her off.

“My darling, he said he wasn’t a child anymore.” Fragments of the scene left Touko’s mouth. “And that man... he laughed.” Pause. “Byakuya said... things... in anger...” Pause. “Sugawara laughed and said Byakuya’s mouth would be better put to use on his...” Pause. She covered her mouth. “He asked... if his skills had got rusty... ” Pause. “I rushed in. Sugawara laughed at us and swaggered off... He didn’t deny anything.”

“I understand,” said Kyouko.

“You don’t!” Touko snarled. Kyouko jumped. Touko’s face contorted, crumbling quickly. “Byakuya wouldn’t say at first... He had to go play, he said... Then I... and Pennyworth... He called me a liar... and then Byakuya told him... told us... and then... we all knew... and you don’t know... how...”

Touko clutched her blouse, clawing it over her heart. Her shoulders shook, and her gaze turned inward. Unfocused.

“... you don’t know what... I can’t,” said Touko, pained, eyes brimming.

“You’re right,” said Kyouko softly. “I don’t know.”

Without thinking, Kyouko opened up her arms. Touko needed no further prompting and fell into Kyouko.

“I hadn’t even wanted to leave them,” Touko spluttered into Kyouko. “At the party... b-but Byakuya wanted to talk to him, and then I...”

A sob.

“... couldn’t find them before there was blood.”

After Kyouko eventually dropped Touko off at her room, and Touko had recomposed herself to sniffles, Kyouko did not go straight to her own room. Instead, she went to the Togami library and logged into the computer. She opened one of the interview tapes and furrowed her brow.

Byakuya’s suit didn’t have any diamonds on it.

There were a lot of reasons why he could have changed out of it into something else.

A lot of them.

#togafuka #touko fukawa #byakuya togami #togafukagiri #danganronpa #kyouko kirigiri #fanfiction #step inside

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minsyal · 7 years

Text

[Revali x Reader, Mutual Feelings Pt. 3]

Summary: Wow, that was rude

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Thank you for the feedback on this story everyone, I will continue it as I didn’t really get any negative comments. I’m glad some of you are enjoying it as much as I am. Happy reading :)

Omisaatio (n): a desert flower that displays an eerie aqua glow as it blooms. It is found in the most peculiar places.

The wooden bridges swayed slightly under the stress of the six individuals forcing it downward. It was honestly shocking that it could even hold Daruk's incredible weight. The panels squeaked and groaned with each step forward. These needed to be replaced. Your head was glued to the sky, observing the Rito Warriors as they flew in from training. Their wives rushed to greet them along with their children. A smile almost tugged at your lips - almost. You stared blankly, watching as a couple embraced and the father scooped the young one up into the air. Their mouth opened as if to let out an amiable laugh and their eyes squinted into two rainbow-like shapes.

The wind had considerably picked up since Revali left. The sky had grown dull and a set of grey clouds loomed overhead. You could barely see the bright luminous hues of blue and white beyond the darkness that settled in. Ahead of you were the other Champions: Zelda, Link, Daruk, Mipha and Urbosa. Sounds of their distant conversation danced backward, chiming through your ears as diluted white noise.

“Looks like we have a fan.” Daruk’s billowing voice echoed from ahead. Your attention was naturally drawn downward, a hint of curiously at who would be down here at this time. The children were busy with their fathers and mothers right now. Surely it isn't an older Rito?

“Hi there!” Daruk said loudly, crouching down to get a good look at the person approaching. You watched as his head lowered, his hand held out to greet them.

“Sorry mister!” A screechy little voice you had grown to love passed the Champions. Soon enough, Keumi was crashing into your legs attempting to knock you over. She had a bad habit of that. Every time she grew slightly more determined to do so, but slightly weaker as well.

“Huh.” Daruk stood back to his full height and gave Urbosa a confused look. His hand came to cradle the back of his neck, his fingers scratching at its base.

Keumi looked the same, except for a new splotch of red that had appeared quite noticeably on her back. Her smile was as radiant as ever and her attitude never faltered. Her eyes only seemed to grow with fascination as she looked up to you.

“What happened?” She screamed more than asked. Her tiny wing attached to your arm and tugged you down to her level, to which you complied. She angrily eyed the cut that had appeared on your face, scrawling from just under your right cheekbone to the curve of your jaw. It had faded considerably from the time when you got it. Now it was only there as a memory, it had melted into your skin in a dark brown color that could never be scrubbed away. With time, it would fade.

“Just a small cut, kiddo. Nothing to worry about.” You leaned forward, bringing your hand up to shield the side of your mouth. “You should see the other guy. But I think we should be worrying about this,” you motioned dramatically to her body to which she looked at you confused. “Keumi, you know you're not allowed to be this far from the Village alone. Must I go talk to your mother again?”

“No, no, no! You don't need to.” She hopped around on her toes, shaking her head in denial.

“Hmm.” You stroked your chin with your fingers, “Fine. I'll let it go this time. But-”

“It won't happen again! I'll wait until you get to the front steps! I promise!”

“Good girl.”

You glanced up to find the Champions staring at you. They looked utterly shocked at your sudden change of attitude. Quite honestly, all they had really ever seen was sarcasm, blandness and blah. Urbosa had her trademark smirk on her face, her eyebrow raised considerably and her arms crossed over her chest. Choosing to ignore them, you returned your attention to Keumi.

The day was mostly spent doing “Champion duties,” which you had absolutely no part it. Keumi was delighted to have you by her side all day. It had been about a month since she had seen you last, and according to her mother it was killing her. Though, there wasn’t much to do with a slight downpour beating from above. The raindrops cascaded down the sides of the single stone pillar that held the Village together, wetting its surface. Rooftops became slides for the liquid to run down, only to create waterfalls that you could not avoid. Most of the others stayed inside, the Rito were not too keen to getting their feathers wet. Keumi, on the other hand, loved the rain. She dragged you around the islands that you entered on, jumping and skipping through puddles that only grew murkier with every leap.

At dusk, you were invited to feast among the Champions and the Rito elder, but kindly declined for the calm family setting of Keumi’s home seemed like a more suitable option. Her mother, Seoi, had prepared a pan seared porgy with a home style sauce that vaguely reminded you of the past, Hylian rice steamed with goat butter and a variety of seeds, and sweet vegetable side. Seoi was obviously Keumi’s mother, just judging by color and personality alone. She had the same orange feathers, the same brown eyes, her belly was coated with porcelain feathers and her tail was dipped in brown.

“So, [Name], how has research been coming?” Seoi said in between bites, she sat cross-legged on the floor of their home. A acacia table was paced between the three of you.

“Slow lately. I've spent so much time with the Champions that I rarely find the time to do actual work. You know when I get back, I’ll have another year’s worth.”

“Yeah! Look at this!” Keumi jumped to her feet and rushed to your side. She lightly feathered her finger down your cut, tracing its path. A pained expression crossed Seoi’s face as she examined it.

If there was anyone in the land of Hyrule that you felt you could call your best friend, it would be Seoi. She was like a mother and best friend all wrapped into one. After finding out Keumi had taken a liking to you, she immediately adopted you into the family. Often, while you were away, she would make a special effort to send you updates on Keumi. She’d ask how you were and always tell you to get more sleep. If Link wasn’t pestering you about your health, Seoi was. It’s like they had some sort of agreement.

“It's nothing really. All patched up.” You put a gentle hand around Keumi’s waist and tugged her closer for a hug. Her wing wrapped around your neck and her head snuggled into the crook of your shoulder.

“What happened?” Seoi’s eyebrows were drawn in, her eyes full of worry.

“Just a little attack. You know those Yiga members, always wanting us dead.” You huffed, staring down at your half-eaten meal. “It's fine, Revali ended up saving me anyway.”

“Revali?” Seoi’s brows raised, a slight inflection of her voice alerted you. She then lowered her brows as a small smile crossed her face. “He sure takes care of you, huh?”

“What?” You coughed, choking for a moment before settling yourself. “No. He annoys me, if anything.” Her grin only grew, a cocked eyebrow told you she didn't believe a word you said.

“Anyway, how have you two been?” You attempted to change the subject. Keumi had crossed back over to her meal, and was happily chowing down.

“Same old, same old. The little one over there has been keeping me up at night, but other than that we’re no different from the time before.”

“Seoi, surely there’s been some excitement?”

“Mom’s dating a new guy!” Keumi said with a full mouth. Seoi shot her a look of disdain as she rolled her eyes and continued eating.

“A new guy, you say? Do I know this guy?” You said coyly, causing Seoi to blush.

“We aren’t dating.” She corrected, bringing a small cloth up to wipe the sauce from her beak.

“Yet!” Keumi giggled.

“I’m glad you’re putting yourself out there Seoi. It’s about time.”

The conversation continued until every last morsel of food had disappeared from your plates. Keumi was lying on her back by the end of the meal, her wing draped lazily across her full belly. Seoi laughed, covering her mouth with her wing before excusing herself. She picked Keumi up, hushing her before lowering her into her hammock.

A hint of sadness flickered in the back of your mind. The scene ignited flames from the past, sending chills coursing through your body, shaking you to the core. Seoi whispered words of encouragement and a mothers love to Keumi as she drifted off to sleep. You couldn't help but envy her.

“So let's talk about you.” Seoi collected the plates and left them sitting on the counter. Grabbing your arm, she escorted you from the home and out onto the walkway. The rain had stopped an hour or two ago. The wood was damp, but not soaking. “I'm worried about you.”

“What's there to worry about?” You attempted to laugh it off. She rolled her eyes and began dragging you to the staircase heading up. You immediately knew where you were going. Revali’s landing. It was Seoi and Keumi’s favorite spot in all of the Rito Village, and she always took you there when she wanted to talk.

“There you go again. Always trying to pretend you're fine.” She lowered her voice, a dash of distress was sewn into her words. Seoi’s hand shook against your body as if trying to shake the answers from you. “You don't look fine.”

“Are you hinting that I’m ugly?” Joking was pointless, Seoi was not having any of it.

“[Name],” she scorned, “Look at yourself. Those dark circles faded months ago, only to come back. Your body shakes like you’ve been left out in the cold. You’re over working yourself.”

“I’m trying to save people, Seoi.” The landing was in front of you, nobody on it. She walked you out to one of the edges and plopped you down with your legs dangling over the edge. “I know it sounds insane, but the Calamity is coming back sooner than we know.”

“If you work yourself to death, you won’t be able to help anymore.”

“I’ll have left what I needed to. That’s all I can ask. I’m no good at fighting, I can’t hold my own. Research and,” you inhaled deeply, the frigid air filling your lungs. The weight of it felt suffocating, like it was dragging everything into your stomach. You exhaled. “It’s just, it’s just all I have. It’s all I can do and I will do what I must.”

Her pleads became fuzzy, and eventually were tuned out completely. Below were the Champions, joyously laughing and clinking their glasses together. The heat of their fire rose into the air, its wispy embers engulfing themselves before burning into nothing. The updraft licked at your heels, warming the soles of your shoes. Though completely aware of your catatonic state, Seoi continued to speak. Her voice soothed you, it was like an effervescent tea that heated your frozen heart. She spoke about how she was immensely proud of you and only wished for you to be healthy. She told of the man she was dating, and how he reminded her so much of the last. A story of Keumi passed through, something about how she had made some new friends. After an hour of staring into space, she stood, patted your shoulder and told you she was going to retire for the night.

“Please get some rest tonight.” Seoi brushed her fingers through your hair, lingering for a moment before disappearing. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight.” You muttered, focus never faltering from the night sky.

The sounds of the Champions feast had dispersed, it ended thirty minutes ago. The fire was put out and you were left alone with your thoughts. The heat no longer grasped onto you, the comforting words of Seoi had gone, and you felt like you were the only one awake in the Rito Village. Another hour passed and you remained in the same spot. Finally, you decided it was time to find the Inn and lay your head down.

The beds were full, no vacancies for you to fill. Zelda and Link were occupying the two on the right side, Urbosa and Mipha on the left. Daruk was curled into a giant ball and placed perfectly in the center of the room. The Rito that was usually behind the desk and the one that stood out front were gone. You sighed, turning on your heel and opting to walk until you found a dry suitable place to rest.

“The early bird catches the worm.” An irritating voice caught your attention as you began descending the staircase, heading toward the exiting bridges. “Looks like you’ve been left behind.”

“I’m not dealing with you right now, Revali.” You said, eyes searching through the dark of night. A yellow grow illuminated from the stable, there were always open beds there.

“Oh, but you see. You just did.” He hovered over for a moment before lowering his body onto the ground beside you. “I noticed your absence from dinner tonight, why?”

Keeping your mouth closed, you focused on the task at hand – getting away from him. Your feet moved as if on auto pilot, carrying you further down.

“Ah, ignoring me huh? Well, I suppose I’ll just have to fill the empty space with my own.” He matched you in stride. “I assume you missed the feast to spend time with that little urchin of yours. Am I right? What was her name? It’s seemed to have slipped my mind.”

“Urchin?” You stopped in your tracks, a heavy tension bundling at the base of your neck. Your entire body tensed, she wasn’t an urchin.

“You know, the small one with the color mutation.”

“She isn’t an urchin.” You hissed through your clenched teeth.

“Getting a rise out of you, eh? So it seems you’re quite fond of that little family of paupers.”

Your fists clenched, your nails digging painfully into the palms of your hands. The wetness of blood coated your fingertips, signaling that you needed to stop. He wasn’t important enough for your time. It wasn’t worth it.

“You do fit in with them quite well, though.” A condescending tone engulfed his voice. “Maybe you should finally leave the Champions and be where you belong? You’re not of any use anyway.”

Before you could stop yourself, you had forcefully latched your hand around his beak. Yanking him down to your level, you left no room for any sense of remorse regarding your action. Revali’s brows raised, you had never really stood up to him physically.

“Insult me as much as you want, but never speak of Seoi or Keumi ever again.” You tossed him away like he was a piece of garbage, turned on your heel and stormed off.

Revali stayed in his spot, watching with a sense of regret. The cloud of night consumed your being, leaving no trace. Revali mentally slapped himself, why did he always have to combat things with words of hate? Why was it so difficult to express himself?

#revali x reader #revali x you #revali #botw #fic #fanfiction #loz #rito #readerinsert #botw revali

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